#i wrote this at 2:47am

[the-british-pineapple]

I have a spectrum that I believe most foods fall between soup or lasagne.

You can categorise any thing into "mostly soup" "mostly lasagne" or "in between".

For example. The standard soup to lasagne spectrum exists as follows.

Soup/Broth

Chowder

Curry

Stew

Cottage pie

Spaghetti (or similar pasta)

Lasagne

The spectrum moves from a food which is mostly liquid to a food with an increasing consistency until you have now stacked multiple solid foods atop one another to defy the liquid order itself

Examples of foods and how they stack.

Sandwich = mostly lasagne. Just like a lasagne, this guy has layers.

Porridge = mostly soup. A liquid based meal but still has a food like consistency to it. Eaten with a spoon

Cake = mostly lasagne. Literally, a lasagne is a savoury cake.

As of today I cannot think of one food which cannot fit on this spectrum.

[4doras]

it will always be you

han taesan x reader

academic rivals to lovers

genre: fluff

wc: 1,455

a/n: i was in a crazy writing mood so enjoy this!! i was planning on starting the anton smau but i felt like writing. this is my first au in a WHILE… so sorry if this has any typos or grammar mistakes since i didn’t proofread it. i don’t know if i’m really happy with this because i’m weirdly scared to publish this 😭 but nevertheless, enjoy reading 💕

You had a test tomorrow and you had been practicing for it for almost 2 weeks. You looked up from your book, checking the time on your digital clock, 2:47AM, it read. Your study session spanned for much longer than you hoped for. You sighed, closing your book and putting your pens back into the case. You tucked yourself into your warm bed, as you let your eyes close themselves.

You woke up four hours later, at the ripe hour of 6AM. You quickly checked your Instagram, seeing that your rival had posted a story, you clicked on it. It was a picture of his face at 5AM, oh how sweet he looked, from the way his hair was slightly disheveled but still kept tidily, his lips, the perfect shade of pink, so soft and kissable. Only if it wasn’t for his personality, only if he treated everyone like he treated you. The way he stupidly raised his eyebrows when his name was called as the top scorer instead of yours, a small smirk arising on the sides of his flawless lips. It provoked so many emotions in you, seeing his face so early in the morning. You put your phone down, took a quick shower, put on simple jewelry, and headed out the door.

You sat down in your seat, not long after, the boy of the hour joined you, weirdly enough, sat next to you. He made his existence more clear, as if you hadn’t been thinking about him the whole morning. The universe must be telling you something.

“You good?” he asked, oddly kind for his usual remarks. He snickered, “You don’t seem like you got enough sleep from the look of it.” His signature smirk plastered on his face. “Oh shut up, I was studying, Taesan.” you rolled your eyes back, thankful he hadn’t spoken about your attitude. “Dropped the last name?” he said, looking at you through the side of his eyes. You swear you heard him say a small “cute” under his breath. The small word made you burn up, why did you feel like this? Right next to him? He started to rummage through his bag, pulling out a little bottle, an energy boost. “I got it for myself, but, seems like you’ll need it more.” he says, propping it on your desk. “Thanks, I guess…” you were confused by the backhanded comment but grateful for the small act of kindness. You opened the bottle, taking the drink like a shot and feeling the taste flow through your throat. With that, you two kept quiet as more people bustled through the door.

You finished your test with a sigh. You made sure you put your name on it, as well as flicking through the papers to make sure you wrote an answer in all the questions and passed in your test. You packed your stuff back into your bag and left, but of course, not before Taesan caught up to you. “Hey, Y/n!” he smiled sweetly, him saying your name in such a way wasn’t good for you. You waited for him, standing still as he ran towards you. “How was the test?” he asked, passing you a candy while walking. A heart shaped candy. You couldn’t get your mind off of it, you thought about it while eating dinner, showering, you couldn’t even focus on your homework because your mind was busy, creating new ideas yet scrapping them, denying the thought of him liking you with a coincidence.

Your phone got a notification from an unknown number.

this is y/n, right?

yeah, who is this?

taesan :)

oh, how’d u get my number?

mmm a little bit of sneaking

???

kiddinggg i was looking at the board and it has the numbers of students who tutor

right. i forgot they did that… did u want tutoring?

nope, just wanted to talk to u, silly

wellllll i’m gonna study a bit so ttyl?

still studying? the test is over

i still wanna study for science, i’m not super familiar with the topic :(

i could help u

u wanna?

sureeee let’s call!!!

alright, but i look a bit weird so don’t judge

i’d never, ur too pretty

…

ok sorry let’s call

You and Taesan called. Something was so comforting about calling Taesan, maybe it was the way his voice sounded, his tone was gentle, much more different than when you two were bickering at school, or the way he helped you and made sure you understood everything well, it all made you feel so at home. Or maybe it was his perfectly sculpted face in juxtaposition with the oversized hoodie he seemed to wear. “Thank you, Taesan, and sorry for keeping you so long…” “No worries, Y/n, it was nice to keep you company. Well, goodnight Y/n, sleep well, yeah?” “Mhm, you too, Taesan.” you smiled at your phone, waving at Taesan as you ended your call, you closed your eyes with ease, smiling into your pillow as you recounted the moments you had with Taesan. Whatever happened to you hating him had somehow faded away, had it turned into love?

As you got into your seat, you saw Taesan comfortably sitting next to you. “Thank you for yesterday.” you smiled. “Hey, I told you, it’s no problem.” Your routine of staying quiet as more people entered the classroom resumed.

You got your math results back, your hands covered the results and in your head, counting down, you removed your hands to see your marks. 78%. 78%? You spent so long studying for your test for not even 80%? You held back tears, excusing yourself to the toilet.

The second you got outside of the school building, you sat on the benches outside, the tears started flowing. You couldn’t believe you spent so much time and energy, staying up for nothing. You felt so upset, how could you forgive yourself? Your moment was cutoff by a voice, Taesan’s voice. “Y/n? Are you okay?” he crouched down by your legs, looking up at you. “Taesan, I did so bad. I spent so long studying on this, for not even 80%? I seriously can’t believe myself.” you sobbed into your hands, as Taesan sat next to you, holding your shoulder. You looked at him, holding the silence as he fixed pieces of your hair, tucking them behind your ears. “Y/n, it’s okay. You did the best you could, and that’s all that matters. This one test won’t discard the work you’ve put in and will put in. Please, don’t worry.” he softly swiped away the tears that streamed down your cheek. He pulled you into a warm hug, his arms wrapping around you, as you rested your cheek on his shoulder, taking in his scent.

You spent a couple minutes with Taesan, walking together so that no one would know you were crying. You re-entered your classroom and took a deep breath. You couldn’t bear spending any more time in that classroom, but you’d do it for Taesan.

After school ended, you got another notification from the unknown number, namely, Taesan. Before you answered his message, you wanted to change him contact.

wait let me change ur contact

ooh, what r u changing it to?

what do u want it to be? because i don’t know honestlyyy

can i ask u a question first?

shoot

can i be ur boyfriend? i mean, i want to at least!! also, sorry i’m asking online and not irl but i couldn’t catch u after school :(

actually? THE han taesan asking to be my boyfriend? (yes)

i thought u hated me

i thought i did too, but i realized it’s probably because i wanted to deny my feelings for u. and i haven’t been able to get u out of my mind

cute. well anyway, u should save me as “super sexy and cute boyfriend”

cute? sure. sexy? hmm

come onnnn pleaseee :)

save me as ”super smart and pretty girlfriend” then

ofc baby

BABH

BAHY

BABY

?? do u not like it

yes

wait no

i mean i love it

i love u, my super smart and pretty girlfriend

i love u, my super sexy and cute boyfriend.

The next day, you immediately went to Taesan, though he wasn't aware of your being. You gave him a small peck on the cheek and that had him turning around. "Hey, my boyfriend." you giggled with a sweet smile that made Taesan's eyes fill with love for you. "Hey, my girlfriend." he said, holding his hand out, waiting for yours to be in it.

[mystic-writings]

emergency contact | jack hodgins

pairing — jack hodgins x fem!booth!reader

summary — hodgins hasn’t heard from you in over six months, after you broke up with him and disappeared. until he gets an alarming phone call in the middle of the night

warnings — angst, canon-typical violence, mentions of death

word count — 2,528

notes — a few things: i wrote this back in january, and it was rushed and poorly done but im being self-indulgent for this one | also im not tagging anyone bc i wanna see how far this will get on its own (except for my beloved @shmaptainwrites who indulged me ily mimi)

masterlist | navigation

2:47am

Despite his many years working for the Jeffersonian, Hodgins had yet to get used to his phone ringing at odd hours. With a groan and a stretch, his palm landed where his phone lay on the nightstand table. Without checking the caller ID, he picked up the phone and slurred out a tired greeting to the caller on the other line.

“Hello, Dr. Hodgins, I’m Marie, calling from the George Washington University Hospital.” Why was a hospital calling him so late at night? “You’re listed as the emergency contact for Y/n Booth, correct?”

Your name sent a shock through Jack’s body. “I— I guess so, yeah. Why? Is she okay?”

“Your fiancée was shot on duty, sir. She’s in surgery right now. We suggest you be with her when she wakes up.”

Without a second thought, Jack hung up the phone and flung out of bed. He didn’t care how things ended between the two of you, good or bad, but he knew one thing for certain: he needed to make sure you were okay. After scrambling for a decent set of clothing and his car keys, Jack rushed out of the house and down the near-empty streets to the hospital you were taken to. 

Even though his mind was running at a mile a minute, Jack managed to recall what the nurse had told him. Shot on duty. You took a sabbatical seven months ago, were you back in town? Surely Booth must’ve known, he was your brother and co-worker, he had to have. Did he spare telling Jack to avoid the inevitable turmoil? Obviously you’d been back long enough to take a case, so it wasn’t like you had decided to come back out of the blue. 

By the time he found parking, it was half past 3 in the morning, and Jack’s heart refused to stop beating out of his chest, his palms sweating rivers as he clenched and unclenched them. Despite all of this, though, he approached the front desk with a cracking resolve, trying his best to be put together for the sake of not distressing the night staff and lingering patient family members. 

“Could you tell me where Y/n Booth is?”

The nurse behind the counter glanced up at him. “Connection to the patient?”

“I’m her-” he stumbled on the words. “Her, uh, fiancé. Emergency contact.” 

She typed a few things into the computer when a voice from behind caught Jack’s attention. 

“Hodgins.” Booth called, approaching with a weary face and a cup of likely burnt coffee.

Jack nearly sprinted over to the man, blue eyes frantically searching for answers in his features. “What’s up, man? I mean, what the hell happened?”

Booth took Hodgins by the arm and led him down a hallway, over to the elevators. “We were going after a perp. I told her not to go in first, that I’d handle the hard part. She didn’t listen, the bastard got her from behind, shot out one of her kidneys. Been in surgery for almost,” he checked his watch, “three hours now.” 

Jack deflated just as the elevator doors dinged open. The pair stepped inside, the space empty apart from themselves. “I just— I don’t get it. Yesterday, she was somewhere even I didn’t know, taking some damn sabbatical. Yesterday, I was still pissed at her. Now? She’s in surgery because she was on a case. Because some asshole shot her. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with that, Booth?”

Unable to provide any kind of emotional support or response, Booth remained quiet as his friend tried his best not to break down in the elevator. 

When the doors opened, Jack attempted to regain his composure as best as he could while Booth led him down the hall. There was a separate waiting room here, for family members who had someone in surgery. He sat opposite Booth, next to a sleeping little girl and her obviously exhausted mother. 

He had no bearing of the passage of time, and felt as though there was no energy left within him to check the watch on his wrist. All he did was sit with his hands on his knees, head tilted to the sky, one leg bouncing like an infinite rubber ball. At some point, a doctor came out to notify the mother of her husband’s successful surgery — his tumor was gone, he’d told her, and there was little chance of it coming back. 

It wasn’t until the sun started to peek in through the waiting room windows that a surgeon called out your name. Booth had been asleep in the chair across from Jack, but he was wide awake. The pair jumped up and approached the doctor, throwing questions at him rapidly. 

“Y/n is okay. Surgery went well, though we’ll have to keep her here for longer than expected.”

“Why? What happened?” Booth asked. 

The doctor sighed. “Due to the location of the entry wound, the bullet caused too much damage to her right kidney. For now, she’ll only be functioning with one until we can find a donor match. She’ll be on dialysis weekly and some medication to assist the working kidney, but otherwise, she’ll be just fine in a week or so. The bullet did puncture the liver and small intestine, but the speed of the bullet slowed enough to only cause minor damage, nothing we couldn’t fix up.” He told them, and a wave of relief crashed over the pair. “She’s being brought up to her room now, if you’d like to go wait with her.”

Jack only nodded, Booth trailing him as the doctor led them up one more floor, where you were being transferred to the ICU. It was painful, seeing you after so  long, only for you to be hooked up to so many machines, laying nearly helpless in a bed. He pulled a chair up to your right side, reaching for your limp hand to hold, hoping you could feel him. 

Hoping you knew he was there. That you knew he always would be.

Booth leaned against the door frame, watching everything with anguish. After you left for California, you kept in constant contact with your older brother. But even in those months, you never explained why you broke off the engagement so suddenly. Why you took a surprise sabbatical, why you went to California specifically. Why you became so closed off, so cold to everyone, even to Parker. 

After a while, Booth left Jack alone to go pick up Parker from his mother’s house. He promised to be back later, your nephew in tow, and pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead before he left. 

Jack, swimming in an ocean’s worth of thought, barely noticed the sun coming over the horizon in the window opposite him. All he could do was process the emotions flowing through him. Anger, that you left him so suddenly and without explanation. Despair, that you’d come back so long ago and didn’t come to see him, to work things out. Worry, that despite your life-saving surgery, you wouldn’t get a new kidney, or that you’d never be the same again. Anger again, but at the bastard who shot you. Triumph, that he was rotting in a cell right now. 

 Jack’s only comfort in the sterile, whitewashed room was the steady beeping emanating from the heart monitor, a small assurance that you were okay. His hand remained clasped over yours for hours, thumb stroking the smooth skin on the back of your hand. Partly as a comfort to himself that you were still there, but mostly, he believed, a comfort to you. He hoped you could feel it; that you could feel his presence. He hoped his presence comforted you. 

By the time you woke up, all the worry had faded from Jack’s body and exhaustion had taken its place. He was asleep, head supported by his arm on the side of the chair, when he heard the sheets rustle in the bed. 

Somehow, in all your years of work, this was the first time you ended up in the hospital due to a job-related injury. It wasn’t the first time you woke up dazed after a surgery with little memory of how you got there, though. 

The sheets, despite being thin, weighed down your legs and torso, providing warmth and comfort. You could feel the leads for the heart monitor stuck to your chest, irritating your skin in the slightest bit. There was a cannula feeding oxygen into your system, though it rubbed the skin on the back of your ears uncomfortably. The main thing, though, was that your torso hurt. 

Despite that, you managed to notice something weighing down your right hand. It was warm, warmer than the blankets. And heavier. Garnering the courage to open your eyes, you blinked to adjust to the sunlight and fluorescent lights, trying to shift yourself upward, wincing when it pulled on your wound. Instead, you glanced over at your hand, only to find another on top of it. Following the arm connected to it, your heart stuttered and cracked when you found a sleeping Hodgins sitting next to your bed. Emotion swelled within your chest and tear ducts just at the sight of him, sleeping so peacefully next to you, his hand over yours in a firm grasp, as if that was the only thing that assured him that you were really here. 

Slowly, quietly, you tried to pull your hand out from under Jack’s, only for the movement to wake him up. He stretched with a deep inhale, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings. It wasn’t until he noticed you were awake that he seemed to come to his senses. 

“Hey,” he nearly whispered. “How’re you feeling?”

You bit back a scoff. “Terrible. First job back and of course I had to get myself shot.” 

Jack fought a smile, scooting forward to raise the bed up for you to sit properly. “They said they got all the fragments of the bullet during surgery. You’re down a kidney for now, though.”

You only nodded, allowing yourself some time to gather your thoughts. “Why are you here, Hodgins?”

“Apparently, I’m still your emergency contact.” He told you, sitting back down and resting his elbows on his knees. “And apparently, I still care about you enough to show up.” 

“Don’t put that on me.” You whispered, chest restricting as tears fought their way back to your waterline. “You can’t say that to me. Not after what I did to you. You should hate me. I mean, really hate me. Like, praying for my downfall, kind of hate. You shouldn’t still care about me.”

“Well, apparently I do. I thought I hated you, for a long time. But I guess I don’t.” Jack sighed,  taking your hand. You wanted to protest, to pull away, but you let him. “I guess this was a wakeup call for me. Literally. They called me at 3 in the morning to tell me you were in surgery.”

You laughed, a wet sound underlined with sadness. “I’m sorry, Jack. Really, I am. I just…”

“What, don’t love me? It’s okay. I’ve learned to live with it.” 

Even when he should hate you, Jack still understood, and even worse, he still loved you. He was, somehow, the world’s most understanding man. God, you love him. 

“No, no I don’t hate you. Actually, it’s the opposite. I just wish things could’ve gone differently.” 

Now Jack was just confused. “What d’you mean? You broke up with me for a reason, right? You told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

“It’s too complicated, Jack. I want to explain it all to you, really, but it’s not safe. I don’t know if or when it will be, and I won’t blame you if you want to find someone else, or if you already have. You deserve to be happy, Jack. You should move on from me.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” Jack said, emphasizing each word and squeezing your hand. “I just want you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were it for me, Y/n. Even with your brother breathing down my neck to not even think about pursuing our relationship. It was terrifying, but I ignored it. Because you were too important to have in my life. I couldn’t risk passing you up. I just don’t understand why you ended things so suddenly.”

The tears that you had been attempting to keep at bay for this entire conversation now flowed freely down your cheeks, the emotions you’d kept close to your chest for nearly a year now breaking free. Jack, like the gentleman he was, gently tilted your head toward him, reaching up and using the pads of his thumbs to brush them from your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, daring to look him in the eye. 

“Don’t be.” He whispered. 

“I have to be. I hurt you. I ruined everything. And it wasn’t even worth it. It  didn’t change anything.”

Despite his confusion, Jack said nothing. He simply stood to his full height and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his chest — minding your wounds and stroking your hair. “It’s okay. You’re home now. We can fix this.”

“No we can’t.” You shook your head, looking up at him. “Jack, there’s nothing left to fix. Because if we fix it, you’ll die.” 

After what felt like an eternity of swirling, spiraling thoughts, Jack found his voice. “What?”

“That’s why I left.” You said. “I was ordered to. I was working on a case, some underground organized crime syndicate. I found out some stuff I shouldn’t have. My hands were tied, I had no choice.” Choking back a sob, you wiped the tears from your face and took a breath. “It was either break up with you, call off the wedding, and leave, or everyone I loved would die. They were gonna kill you, kill Seeley and Parker, and drain your accounts. There was nothing I could do.” 

Jack pulled you in tighter, his whole worldview shifting and turning on an axis. He couldn’t speak — hell, he could barely even think right now. Jack had spent months grieving your relationship, questioning why you broke things off, harboring a ruthless anger at what his life had become, and all of it faded to dust in an instant. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, pulling Jack back to the present. “I work with these people, Jack. They could ruin me in an instant.” 

“We’ll fix this, I promise.” Jack declared, and despite the fear that had overridden your senses for the past few months, you couldn’t help but believe him. 

You only nodded, curling further into him as best as you could with your incisions. Fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie, you listened to the beat of his heart beneath you and took a deep breath. 

Soon enough, you were drifting off to sleep with the firm belief that soon enough, with the help of your family, somehow, everything would be okay. 

if you want more jack fics, please feel free to comment and let me know!! writing for smaller characters is always a gamble but if people read this i’d be more than happy to do so!

[juminies]

I am reflecting, and I think if I had to choose I would say my favourite things I wrote this year were reliance and, perhaps surprisingly, 2:47am. I never crossposted the latter because it felt too personal and vulnerable around the time I wrote it to hand it off so easily to people who vaguely know me, but I think it's well written and the rawness gives it a feel I haven't achieved elsewhere. I really hope to write more Jumin in the new year—I have been missing him a lot lately so perhaps there are things on the horizon 🥹

[babywitchofthesouth]

Waxing Moon Actions 🌘🌗 🌖

21 May 2023 to 27 May 2023 - Waxing Crescent Moon

Moon phase to-do

Brighter path for romance

Initiate a conversation in person

Banter in person

Hold eye contact

Ask if he's hungry

Ask if he wants to grab food together

Improving confidence and social skills

Initiate a conversation

Hold eye contact

Smile at people

Tell a joke

Practice active listening

—

Moon sign to-do

Gemini moon (20 May 5:47am to 22 May 2:27pm)

Socialise

Go to a bar

Message him

Learn

Uni work

Use logic and wit

Crack jokes

Cancer moon (22 May 2:28pm to 25 May 1:33am)

Self care and alone time

Rose quarts face roller

Take a bath

Journal

Confidence meditation

Relationship podcasts

Communing with loved ones

Text him

Be aware of sensitivity from me and him

Leo moon (25 May 1:34am to 27 May 2:03pm)

Be creative 

Do something cool at karate

Learn a song on guitar

Practice drawing

Go out

Dinner with dad

Virgo moon (27 May 2:04pm to 30 May 1:49am)

See below

—

28 May 2023 - First Quarter Moon in Virgo

Virgo moon

Organise

Clean room

Rest

Sleep in

Sleep early

Self care

Bath

Take practical steps and action towards intentions (specific to First Quarter Moon)

Reflect

Journal 

Note any difficulties achieving my intentions (specific to First Quarter Moon)

Introversion

If he wants to talk to me he can message me first

Don't stress if he doesn't

Recharge my social battery

—

29 May 2023 to 3 June 2023 - Waxing Gibbous Moon

Virgo moon (27 May 2:04pm to 30 May 1:49am)

See above

Libra moon (30 May 1:50am to 1 June 10:43am)

Find mutual understanding

Get to know someone better

Text him

Remedy indecisiveness

Find joy in love and beauty

Take photos on a wall

Look at art

Change phone case

Go shopping 

Scorpio moon (1 June 10:44am to 3 June 4:02pm)

Be passionate

Sexual expression

Have a heartfelt conversation 

Put energy into karate

Meditation

Mindfulness and reducing jealousy

Bond with partner

Text him

Sagittarius moon (3 June 4:03pm to 5 June 6:29pm)

Spontaneity 

Go out with friends 

Travel

Learn

Try something new

Short term joy

—————————————

Here’s the explanation for fellow baby witches

The Waxing Moon is a lunar phase associated with gaining power and energy and acting on intentions that were set during the New Moon. This phase can be split up into three sections.

1. Waxing Crescent

This phase is the best time for planning and announcing what actions you need to do to accomplish your intentions. It's recommended to set to-do lists and note specific activities for the next two weeks to achieve short term goals in line with your intentions set on during the New Moon in relation to the next six months. I wrote my checklist in two parts, one focusing on overall the next two weeks during the Waxing phase and my intentions.

2. First Quarter

This phase is a reminder to take action as the moon is easily visible during the day, and become aware of any obstacles you're facing in achieving them. It's the best time to take practical steps to enforce your intentions that were set during the New Moon. Here I'll try to do something that has a direct affect on my intentions.

3. Waxing Gibbous

This phase is for refinement. If the challenges you realised during the First Quarter phase are hindering achieving your intentions, change your course. When this phase arrives, I'm going to look at my to-do list and see if any edits can be made to make them more achievable.

A lot of my moon phase activities on acting on my intentions during this 2 week period before the full moon overlap, because my romantic life and confidence go hand in hand. I still decided to separate them to distinguish between making progress in my external love life and making internal progress on my self-esteem.

So, since every 2-3 days, the moon enters a new zodiac sign, I made mini to-do lists for the associations of each sign that will also help me achieve my intentions, but more indirectly. I used the descriptions from the app 'It's just a phase' to guide my action plans, then I created more specific to-do checklist items based on my person life and what's actually achievable for me. I did keep in mind my intentions while writing these, but they're less influenced by it than the moon phase to-do list.

Check out the other parts of this series!

Part 1 - Intentions. Last post

Part 2 - Actions. Current post

Part 3 - Spellwork. Next post

[raccoon-the-third]

If you're seeing this I forgot about it I wrote this at 9:51pm on june 30th 2023

I'll update every time I remember

10:44pm june 30th 2023 is this too soon maybe

10:18pm july 1st 2023

6:59pm july 2nd 2023

8:37am july 4th 2023 i saw the word thought

4:25pm july 4th 2023 thinking about tumblr today i guess

7:00pm july 4th 2023 what is up with me today

11:31am july 5th 2023 something in my queue

11:11pm july 5th 2023

11:49am july 7th 2023

9:05am july 8th 2023

10:12pm july 8th 2023

7:42am july 9th 2023 tried to remember something

3:10pm july 9th 2023

12:19am july 10th 2023 thought about tumblr

2:75pm july 11th 2023

12:01am july 12th 2023

10:39am july 14th 2023

2:29pm july 14th 2023 saw my queue

12:47pm july 20th 2023

9:48pm july 21st 2023 checked the date

10:01pm july 24th 2023 i think I'm slowly forgetting

10:33am july 28th 2023 thought about drafts

8:19pm july 29th 2023

1:54pm august 1st 2023

10:40am august 11th 2023

3:07pm august 13th 2023

12:48am august 15th 2023

11:37pm august 23rd 2023

10:25pm august 28th 2023 tomorrow is a year since I got my first wheelchair

10:47am september 5th 2023 i wrote the date down

8:19am september 11th 2023

11:47pm september 16th 2023

11:15pm september 19th 2023

10:49am september 23rd 2023

1:23pm september 29th 2023

[yellowhippo]

Second Quarter of 2023. [April #2]

art works and poetry, chronological order.

please don’t judge my art...i’m not exactly a Bob Ross descendant.

I Hate the Sound of the Door Opening - April 6

10:41 - 10:46pm

I hate the sound of the door opening. Scared of what might hear, Scared of who I might meet. Is it the demon underneath the poor excuse of a father or perhaps a new facade that is yet to present itself? Whoever or whatever comes to break the peace, all I can do is tear up and break even further into pieces. I hate the sound of the door opening.

Get Lost In The Rain - April 13

11:40 - 11:47am

I want to get lost in the rain With all my worries awashed

My emotions swirl down the drain and leaving me with a wound, gashed.

So please let me get lost because I already am a lost cause.

All my efforts are in vain, While their scrutiny left me abashed.

I just want to get lost in the rain And all my memories awashed.

Away From Everyone And The City - April 21

5:04 - 5:09pm

Sitting serenely, she sips on tea at her porch while the rain continues to pelt down her skin and leaving the wooden floor wet and her tea tasting more like rain water with every new drop added to it as it slowly loses it's warmth.

Her body already soaked to the bone has started to shake from the cold but she could not bring herself to come inside as she rarely gets any time away from the city to enjoy the calm and silence of the forest even when thunder strikes once in a while.

A small smile has not left her lips ever since she let herself bask under the cloudy sky and her head slightly tilted upwards as rain cascades down her cheeks letting her heave out a breath of relief since it's the closest to crying that she can do.

*wrote this and imagining myself owning a 'cottage on a hill' away from everyone and the city.

[toraashi]

𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

info/warnings: inumaki toge x gn!reader, not proofread, fluff, kissing, literally wrote this at 3am after i woke up from a nightmare :(, i miss him and want him to kiss me, that is all

“Toge, honey,” You cooed, wriggling in the boy’s arms and pressing your nose to his cheek, words manifesting across his cheek in warm puffs. You’d been cuddled up to his chest, your bodies nestled beneath the warm duvet, your arm sprawled across his torso, his slid beneath your body. 

Toge’s brows furrowed, and he rolled to his side, free arm curling around your back and tucking you into his neck, giving you a momentary glimpse of the red numbers of his alarm clock. 

2:47am

You almost felt bad, but the pinpricks of guilt could not override the neediness flush through your veins. He looked so pretty as he slept, features calm, soft snores slipping through faintly parted lips. His tattoos were undisturbed and on full display, a sight too rare to go unappreciated. 

“To-gee,” His name fell from your lips once more, proceeded by a faint dusting of smooches against his angled jaw. From your position folded into the crook of his neck, his cheeks looked so round and squishy. 

Puffing your cheeks out, you pouted to yourself, wishing the boy would just wake up. 

You cinched your fingers into his nightshirt, shaking lightly, your throat wrapped around a whine. 

“Baby, baby, baby,” You started again, watching carefully as his eyes twitched, muscles flexing, his palm sliding to the small of your back before his pretty lashes shifted and he was peeking his lidded violets at you. 

“Takana,” He rasped, his eyes burning a deep amethyst, and some internal part of you swooned. Batting off sleepiness, you cupped his face, squishing his cheeks and running your thumb across his bottom lip. The boy seemed confused (albeit sleepy), and watched your studious moments carefully, waiting for your explanation. 

“Just missed you n’wanted a kiss.” You mumbled, avoiding his gaze through your sudden embarrassment, watching his lips curve into a little smile. Dragging your stare to his eyes, he blinked blearily before awarding you with a sleepy grin, fumbling for the duvet and pulling it up to your necks, coaxing you nearer and splattering your face with sporadic, messy smooches across your nose and cheekbones. Giggling softly, you melted into his touch, his pale hair tickling your forehead, hands soothing and lulling until a wave of exhausting poured over you. 

Toge had resigned to your lips, pressing his to them over and over until you couldn’t bear to bite back a smile. It wasn’t too long before he withdrew, meeting your eyes and murmuring a quiet, 

“Shake?” The guilt from earlier curdled your heart when you spotted the clock once more from over his shoulder, the numbers nearing 3:15. Truthfully, you’d been plagued with nightmares for the nth time that week, but you weren’t too quick to divulge your fears and sleep deprivation to your tender love. 

“Thank you, To. I love you.” You yawned through your words, yet somehow, he seemed more awake, brushing his knuckle against your cheekbones, brows furrowing with concern. You read his mind before he could speak his thoughts. “M’okay. Missed you.” The violet caught a gleam of mischief - mischief and knowing, and you swatted it off. “I know it hasn’t been long, okay? You looked cute sleeping and I wanted a kiss. Go back to sleep, dummy.”

You knew he wasn’t convinced. He was never convinced, but it was late. No doubt he’d pry in the morning. 

Sighing contentedly to himself, he leaned in for one last kiss - for good measure, before curling his arms around you and coaxing you into his chest, breath pluming against your neck and lulling you into a dreamless sleep wrapped in his adoring embrace.

[seokjinsonlyone]

masterlist

namjoon:

drabbles:

in which you visit an art museum…

idk something someone else should write 😭

time stamps:

[3:13am]

seokjin:

fall into your blu

in which jin’s hot and you’re not

drabble 1 | drabble 2 | drabble 3

time stamps:

[1:27pm]

[3:24pm]

yoongi:

one shots:

build a bridge

“God, sometimes I’m happy when you go off on me because at least then I know what you’re thinking.”

drabbles:

in which you don’t want to go to work

time stamps:

[12:42pm]

hoseok:

series:

sunflower | vol. 2 | vol. 3

“here i brought you flowers… they need sunshine so you were the obvious choice”

one shots:

home wrecker

“you may have done bad things sometimes, but you weren’t a bad person.”

drabbles:

“please come home. this doesn’t feel right.”

taehyung:

drabbles:

“you keep saying that we’re friends, but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true”

in which you get possessive…

in which you're oblivious in which you get cornered

jungkook:

series:

Not My Type: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

in which jungkook is not your type and he’s mad about it

drabbles:

in which jk is your baby…

in which jungkook wants to watch tv…

in which you want to get your nails done…

chilling with jk

in which you want to kiss jungkook’s cheek…

jungkook as a personal trainer

time stamps:

[2:47am]

headcanons:

in which you give them a kiss at work

in which they show physical affection

in which you facetime them bc you’re bored

bts’ love languages

in which you ask for some fries

husband, boyfriend, or sneaky link

bts as giveon songs

in which you steal their clothes

niche boyfriend things | 2

who sits beside or across from you at restaurants

moderate to severe titties

types of kissers

in which you’re in like with each other but not dating yet

in which you’re pregnant

type of fast food american!bts would eat

in which you’re in an on again off again relationship

bts as your husband

which states korean american!bts would be from

bts falling in love

bts as your best friend

mtl:

have 6 toes

i wrote this at 4am and didn’t even remember when i actually woke up but i found it amusing so i kept it

be a dinosaur kid

this too

know about periods

have you as their lockscreen

initiate a breakup

fake date you

introduce you to the members first

give you their jacket

be an overprotective boyfriend

scariest in an argument

get an attitude if you met your celeb crush

girl dad v. boy dad

end up with someone black

want you to make the first move

like being teased

soft launch v. hard launch

like you in the studio with them

give you the last slice of pizza

still love you if you were a worm

[bbhyeoliskooks]

Hi, could you make a scenario when one day txt wake up with cat/dog ears and tails on them? I was thinking of this bc I saw how taejun are called 냥냥즈 (kittenz XD) and the rest are 댕댕즈 (puppiez XD). Thank you so much and also, I love your carrd XD

﹡⊹﹡ 𝟐𝟒 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐏𝐞𝐭? ﹡⊹﹡

Cat boys and dog boys were certainly the end of you... 

﹤⳾⳾⳾ U・ﻌ・U ..﹡⊹﹡.. ໒・ﻌ・७  ⳾⳾⳾﹥

Genre: 9 3/4 cups of fluff !!

Warnings: Unedited~~

Song: Cat and Dog

(Omg, I'm so sorry that this took so long! As you can expect, this girl who wrote it had a project right here and needed to do it before the due date since she procrastinated??? Yes that, but i'm so sorry that it’s a bit short too :cc However, I hope you enjoy! I wrote this in an hour, so I hope it’s good enough !)

﹤⳾⳾⳾  /ᐠܻܻ   ့⑅ܻᐟ\  ..﹡⊹﹡..（๑´ﻌ｀๑）⳾⳾⳾﹥

"Y/N, Y/N! Wake up, please wake up!"

At eight am in the morning, the side of your cheek was being tickled with something soft...? Something... something... wait, is that supposed to be fur? Yeonjun's velvety voice echoed through the room worriedly as if there was an important event you were missing, and you could say you were tempted to open your eyes until you remembered one, particular thing.

Groaning quietly, you turned to the side while shaking your head in annoyance. If this was another one of his pranks, you swore you were going to punch him in the gut for disrupting your beauty sleep. You shouldn't expect so much from him when you knew he should've been sleeping during this time anyway. Normally you'd gone up to help him, but after everything that happened this week it was safe to say you wanted nothing to do with him- yet. This was one of the only days you could catch up on sleep after stressing about the things you had to do, and you weren't going to lose it to some tiny prank he'll laugh about all day.

For a few moments, you thought he was finally going to leave you alone, the silence being refreshing for you to fall back into the soft arms of comfortable sleep. Well, that was until the boy screamed into your hear again.

"Y/NNN," he whined, tugging your blanket enough to make it scramble off the bed, landing on the floor with a quiet yet noticeable, ploof.

Okay, this was enough.

Throwing the pillow you were holding so dearly in your arm with a harsh grimace quickly permeating throughout your face, you were going to slap him away when you noticed that in your blurry vision... there were grey, furry cat ears on Yeonjun?

It wasn't your usual cat ears on the headband that kids bought whenever they wanted to pretend to be a feline, but those grey cat ears were seemingly attached to his head, almost as if it was sewn into the crown of his head. Stunned, you gasped at the sight, your right hand flying up to cover your dropped mouth.

His eyes were blown wide in pure innocence too, causing you to subconsciously gush at the sight. They both watched your movements intently, sparkling with what you could see mischievousness as well. From before, you knew that they were like this but... they weren't as gigantic and cute from before?!

You weren't able to stop yourself now, rubbing on his ears as he sighed in euphoria. As you expected, the ears were soft and you petted them all the more, feeling satisfied when you felt him seemingly purr due to what you assumed, your touch. He melted into your embrace, nuzzling his cheek against your neck while you giggled with delight.

"Yeonjun, what did you do? Question is, how did you do this all without me knowing?" It was at the very least to say that Yeonjun was simply adorable as his fur tickled the top of your chin, choosing to snuggle up against your chest in blissfulness.

From the corner of your eye, you could see his grey tail lazily spin around in circles while you ran your fingers through his freshly dyed, hair. You weren't sure how he became like this, but you had to admit that you weren't complaining! It was a secret to everyone that you adored cat boys and now that Yeonjun was like this, you could feel your heart swell with joy.

"I didn't do anything," he murmured, closing his eyes when you scratched the back of his ears, "I just woke up like this, next to you." A content smile spread throughout his face and you could feel your own human ears burn from how nonchalant he was about that last sentence. You couldn't recall how you didn't feel him squeeze up next to you last night while you slept soundly, but obviously there were no complaints either.

"Hey, it's alright! We'll figure this out later when all the other boys wake up. Maybe at least one of them would know these things?"

Speaking of the devil, you heard the door slam open with two of the boys running around in circles just to see you. They ceased their steps at the doorway, paralyzed when they both saw Yeonjun in your arms, stopping as if they walked into something they shouldn't have.

The amount of gasps you elicited once you saw them, gently pushing Yeonjun away from you, your steps carrying you towards Beomgyu whose sighed mixed with a low groan. His ears were ones of a golden puppy dog, twitching when you neared closer, pressing up a hand against the top of his head. Oh my goodness, talk about cuteness 1000%?!

Taehyun, on the other hand, was adorned with brown cat ears, revolving around in circles when you stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. He didn't allow you to touch his ears until you shot him a grin- a sign you weren't going to do anything bad to him. Eventually he softened up, turning his head to the side so that you wouldn't see his cherry cheeks while you petted him.

Yeonjun then stomped to the three of you, clinging onto your back with possessiveness. There wasn't anything much that happened other than him waking up with cat ears and a tail to along with that as well, but when you easily got up just to wonder thoughtlessly about their condition, he felt himself burning up from the inside with jealousy. Maybe it was his instincts that came along- like he noticed the first time you petted Beomgyu- but there was no denying he was turning green.

You laughed at the predicament, shaking your head without a care in the world. What really happened last night that you didn't know of? They couldn't have been that bored that they figured out how to appear as hybrids when they woke up.

"You guys... don't tell me that the rest of you are like this too? Because Yeonjun woke up with cat ears, although it can't get that much worse..."

You spoke too soon.

Another pair of puppy dog ears bust through the doorway, budging between the clingy bodies of Taehyun and Beomgyu while panting loudly. Your face turned white at the sight, all the warmness in your forehead disappearing without a trace. Why were you shocked at this point? If the three of them woke up with new body parts, then there would be no surprise if the rest of them did as well.

Your smile could only grow even wider, taking in the endearing pile of boys who zoomed close enough to feel their breath against your nose. Both Kai and Soobin were both playful puppies along with Beomgyu too?! Yes, and with the ears and tails too that stirred in several shapes! You held back a high-pitched scream that could possibly damage their sensitive drums. 

“Soobin...? Kai...? The same thing happened with you too?” 

They just had to be the cutest babies you’d ever seen before, despite them fiddling with their fingers in a nervous fit in fear that you weren’t going to like it.

“No, no, no! I’m the one who should protect Y/N since I was the first one she saw,” Yeonjun whined, pulling you against his chest. You fell against his warm embrace, feeling the corners of your lips turn into a tiny grin that clearly didn’t go unnoticed by the others. 

“Yeonjun, that’s not fair! You didn’t even let us get a chance with her yet!” Soobin pulled you away from Yeonjun and you giggled at the two of them fighting as Taehyun spoke up again.”

“Um first of all, we shouldn’t expect a lot from her? She wouldn’t want to be near any of your musty as-”

“Shut up Taehyun!” They all yelled, and you groaned at how complicated the problem became now.

You ran your hands over your face, the fatigue in your body definitely catching up after staying up to turn in an important document. All of this yelling back and forth about who was going to spend time with you got to your tiredness, and you made a suggestion of which you hoped with all your heart that they would accept. 

“Guys, I know I’m the only one who needs sleep here after staying up into the wee hours of the night, but can we please figure this out when I’m more awake? I need to get some sleep for the time being so that I can understand these things.”

You weren’t surprised when they all cuddled up against you while you tried to doze off for the nth time. 

﹤⳾⳾⳾ U・ﻌ・U ..﹡⊹﹡.. ໒・ﻌ・७  ⳾⳾⳾﹥

“Oh my gosh! They’re adorable, aren’t they?!”

“Who could’ve believed this would happen?

“Awwe, Y/N with fluffy ears? This must be a disease!”

“Beomgyu, hurry up and take some pictures!”

Kai’s voice was the last thing you heard in your sleep then you stirred, taking a look at all the boys who crowded around you. 

What was happening now? It must’ve been two hours since you dozed off, your eyes landing on the clock that read 10:47am. Tiredly, you stretched and the whispers of the boys grew louder with every second that passed. Your arms made contact with something soft and you assumed that was one of the boys ears until you felt something so foreign twitch on the top of your head. It was almost like... almost like- wait a minute!

Now the same exact thing was happening to you. 

---

Posted: 2/27/21- 5:00pm

Tags: 

[gingeralepdf]

A Little Love

A/N: here she isss!!! this is the piece that i wrote for the Pick Your Poison Fic Challenge that was set up by the amazing @andwhenshesays @for-fucks-sake-h and @oh-honey-styles (thank you for organizing all of this!! you’re all legends!!)

extra big thank you to lydia @youresogolden-h and brailey @daydreamsofh for being such sweet beta readers <3

this is my first ever attempt at writing fic, so i hope you enjoy it!

****CONTENT WARNING**** alcohol consumption

Harry is your best friend and your coworker, but you see him as more. Maybe you both just want a little love.

word count: ~8K

**April 25, 2020, 11:15am**

It’s a comfortable spring day in San Francisco. The windows are cracked, letting in sweet smelling fresh air and the moderate bustle of people out and about. Despite the perfect weather to be out at the market or taking a walk in the park, you’re currently at your neighbor’s apartment, slouched on the couch in the living room and in the midst of a New Girl marathon. Or rather, you are in the midst of a New Girl marathon, but your friend has not looked up from the guitar he is restringing for the past fifteen minutes.

You’ve been stealing glances at Harry from the other end of the couch. He has the guitar laying across his lap. He’s able to take all of the strings off and put three new ones on without a problem, but something about the fourth string seems to be giving him a lot of trouble. Every time he gets the string wound up on the tuning key, it snaps loose, like it can’t hold the tension. After several attempts with the same result, Harry sets his string winder on the coffee table and lets out a frustrated huff while scratching his forehead.

Although you know it’s probably best to not make a comment while he’s annoyed, you decide to make one anyway.

Just as he grabs the winder from the coffee table and goes in for another attempt at the string, you blurt out, “I thought the whole point of watching Netflix at your house instead of mine was so you could work and watch at the same time.”

Harry rolls his eyes and slowly cranes his head to look in your direction, “I am watching.”

“Right, so tell me what Miranda has been up to,” you challenge.

Harry lowers his head in concentration, making another attempt at winding up the string on the tuning key, “She’s like… going on a date or something.”

“Miranda isn’t even a character in the show!”

The tuning key once again snaps loose. Harry’s nostrils flare and he mutters a quick “Fucks sake.”

A moment passes where the only sound in the room is the TV. You’re trying to gauge whether or not you’ve actually pissed him off a bit. You decide to bite your tongue and see what he is going to say next.

Harry finally shifts his eyes from the guitar to you, “Obviously I can’t work and watch at the same time.”

You give him a pointed look, “You think?”

“I promise I can finish this project pretty quick, and then I’ll watch, like, four episodes, uninterrupted. I just need to go get some parts so… would you mind pausing it?”

Once the show is paused, Harry gets up from his spot on the couch, gently sets the guitar on the floor, and turns to exit the living room. However, he is stopped short since your legs are making a barricade between the couch and the coffee table. With a mischievous grin on his face, he uses his shin to slowly push your legs away from him so that your feet slide off the end of the table and onto the floor. Your jaw drops in exaggerated offense. Giggles erupt from both of you as he narrowly avoids your attempts to trip him while he steps over your legs and then jogs across the room to his workspace.

A huge benefit of living a couple of buildings away from your best friend is that any given day of the week can be spent like this. The both of you can always be found at either one of your apartments watching hours of Netflix, working on projects, or sharing meals.

Just as you were enjoying the moment of silence that fell onto the room, your phone and Harry’s phone buzz on the coffee table. With a quiet groan, you slowly sit up from the couch to see a text from your boss, sent in a group chat with yourself and Harry.

Would either of you be able to work the closing shift tonight? Sarah called in sick and the rest of the shift leads can’t work today.

Although you and Harry were both looking forward to having a Saturday off, you knew the bar was a little short-staffed this weekend, so you both kind of saw this coming.

“Is that who I think it is?” Harry asks.

“Yeah, Adam’s asking one of us to work the closing shift tonight. Sarah called in sick and I guess Charlotte can’t work today.”

Harry groans as he makes his way back to his previous spot on the couch and plops down with a screwdriver and a plastic bag containing what looks to be a new set of tuning keys in hand.

Harry takes a moment to look around his living room, taking in all of the instrument cases stacked around the small apartment, scratching his jaw in thought. “I mean, I would take it, but I’ve got a lot of projects that have to get done this weekend.”

“I guess that just leaves me then,” you say flatly, sinking further into the couch and staring straight ahead out of the window across the room.

“‘M’ sorry,” Harry says with a light chuckle at your dramatics, “I’ll owe you one.” His offer comes out more like a question.

You look back in his direction to see him with a wide, dimpled grin staring back at you. You know he’s just trying to make you feel better, and it works.

After sending a quick text to your boss letting him know you would be there tonight, you sit up straight and grab the remote from the coffee table. “That’s a really tempting offer. I’ve got a lot of sick days saved up, you know?”

“Heyyyy,” Harry draws out in a playfully offended tone.

You chuckle before asking, “Can we just finish this episode so I can go home and get some rest before work?”

“Yeah I think we can do that.” He sets the screwdriver and plastic bag on the coffee table and leans back on the couch, folding his hands together to rest on his stomach.

You press play on the remote and settle into another day with your best friend.

**April 26, 2020. 1:47am**

About ten minutes until the bar closes, and there are still three large, lively groups hanging around. You and your coworkers have done as many pre-closing tasks as you possibly could, aside from taking the drink glasses straight out of the customers’ hands. Now it just seems to be the longest waiting game ever until you’re officially allowed to kick everyone out.

While you’re all busying yourselves with wiping down counters and straightening chairs, the front door swings open.

Just as you’re about to put on your best customer service face that you can muster, you see a familiar blue and white plaid jacket and fluffy brown curls. Harry is strolling in, surveying the crowd of customers as he’s making his way to where you’re standing at the bar. You see that he is donning a form-fitting grey t-shirt with a bright yellow smiley face on it, light brown high-waisted pants, and a delicate looking pearl necklace. He always seems to be able to effortlessly look put together, even when he is making bold choices.

You look at him with raised eyebrows and ask with exaggerated charm, “Come here often?”

“Oh god.” He laughs at your ill attempt at comedy through a pained expression.

“What are you doing here?”

He shrugs, “Same as always.”

Harry has made it a routine to walk home with you when you’re working the closing shift. Even when you insist that there’s no need for him to stay up so late when he’s not working.

He glances around before looking back at you, “Is there anything I can help with right now?”

You shake your head. “Just waiting for them to leave so we can clean everything.”

“Bollocks,” he mutters before puckering his lips.

You decide to go around the corner of the bar to the prep area where the music controls are. Hopefully the customers will take the hint that it’s time to leave once you lower the volume.

After a few minutes, all of the staff are breathing a collective sigh of relief when one group makes their way to the door and the other two groups shortly follow suit.

By the time you follow the crowd out and you lock the door, it’s 2:05 a.m. Considering how busy it was tonight, you’re counting this as a small victory.

Harry and your other coworkers are going around cleaning up glasses and bottles and taking them back to the sink while you make your way to the register to start your shift lead duties.

Once the tips are divided, you take a look around and see that your coworkers are steadily making their way through the cleaning checklist. With Harry’s help, things are moving along pretty quickly. You pull the first bundle of cash out of the drawer and start counting.

After getting the cash drawer sorted out, and counting out a new one for Monday, you hear your coworker saying your name. “I think we’ve done everything on the cleaning checklist. Is there anything else you need help with?”

“Actually, all I have left to do is inventory. I’m not gonna hold you hostage for that, so you guys are free to head out if you want to.”

Your coworkers are saying goodnight and clocking out shortly after. Once they're gone, you’re left with the faint buzzing of the refrigerators and the light music over the speakers. You turn around to face the shelves of bottles and notice a few that are running low and need replacing. You go down the ‘employees only’ hallway to the back stockroom and grab all the bottles you need. Hugging them to your chest, you make your way back down the hallway. You walk about halfway when a figure jumps out of the supply closet to your right, causing you to jump backwards and let out a scream.

Harry’s howling laughter echoes through the hallway as you try to catch your breath and will your heart to stop racing.

You finally regain some composure and turn to fully face Harry. His laughter has reduced to occasional soft chuckles falling past his pursed lips. If your arms weren’t full, you would most likely be smacking him for scaring the shit out of you.

“What the hell were you thinking?” You do your best to give him death glare, but your voice is now shaking with laughter as well. “You’re lucky I didn’t drop any of this stuff, you idiot.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry but you should have seen your face. Holy shit.” He opens his arms and slowly steps toward you to bring you in for a hug.

“Well if you’re so sorry, put these on the shelf for me.” You say as you thrust the bottles into his chest, making him grunt out a laugh.

You walk to the front with Harry trailing behind you. All you have left to do is make a few notes for Adam before finally clocking out. You’ve never been more excited for your head to hit the pillow when you get home.

As you’re making your notes, Harry is pacing about behind you, straightening out all of the bottles on the shelves. He lets out a long observant hum.

“What?”

“Just noticed this guy’s almost empty,” he holds up a bottle of tequila and swirls around what little liquor is left in it. One corner of his mouth turns up before he looks at you, “Enough left for two more shots, probably.”

“Is that so?”

“Y’ wanna find out?”

“I don’t know,” you say as you tilt your head up and tap your chin in thought “I don’t know how I feel about taking shots with people who jump out of supply closets to scare me.”

“Oh c’mon, don’t be like that.” He’s exaggerating and drawing all of his words out as he walks over to you. He wraps his arms around you so that his hands are resting on your left shoulder and he rests the side of his head on the back of yours. “I’m sorry. Please take a shot with me.”

Although it's pointless since he can’t see your face, you roll your eyes in response, “Fine. Pour me one.”

His hand gives your shoulder a light squeeze before he moves away and reaches under the counter then puts two shot glasses onto the bar. He reaches behind him for the nearly empty bottle and pours the perfect amount into each glass. Taking them both in his hands, he extends one to you.

You don’t miss the chuckle that he lets out as you take the glass from him. After giving him a questioning look, you notice a slight blush on his face.

“What’s so funny?”

“Was just thinking. This,” he gestures to the two of you and the glasses you’re both holding “reminds me of the day you got into the art institute.”

Around this time a year ago, you had spent weeks pouring over your application for the San Francisco Art Institute and months after that waiting to hear anything back. When you got the acceptance email toward the end of your shift at work, Harry was the first person that you told. Just over a year ago, you were standing with Harry behind this same bar when you told him the good news. Your chest filled with warmth at his reaction. He wrapped you in a nearly suffocating hug as he loudly declared, “I told you you had a kick ass portfolio! So fuckin proud of you.”

Right after he released you from the hug, he poured each of you a shot. Harry then made the impromptu decision of doing a bar crawl after you both got off, deeming the two shots “not enough celebration”.

After a night full of slightly over the top celebrating, you were practically dragging Harry home. It wasn’t until you got to his apartment building that he realized he had left his keys and wallet at one of the bars. Not wanting to drag him back across town, you ended up bringing him back to your apartment just around the corner.

It took a lot of coaxing, but you were able to get him to drink a big glass of water before helping him brush his teeth with your spare toothbrush.

You have a lot of vague and fuzzy memories from that night, but there are two that remain crystal clear. One is the moment when you were clumsily leading him to your couch and he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “Wish I could kiss you.” And the other is the way your stomach dropped and your heart nearly fluttered out of control at his drunken confession.

The conversations about that night always turned into jokes about you being able to handle your liquor better than he could. His comment was never brought up by either of you. You weren’t sure if he would even remember it, or if either of you really wanted to.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “we should never be allowed to celebrate anything after that. We were miserable the next day.”

You lock eyes with him and for a split second there’s something in his eyes that you don’t quite recognize. Like a different kind of softness that you hadn’t seen before this moment.

It’s fleeting, however, because he glances down at your hands and clinks your glasses together. You tilt your heads back at the same time, feeling the burn in your throats and letting out sharp exhales once it’s passed.

Harry takes your glass from your hand and silently goes to the prep area. You hear the sink running as you finish up your notes to your boss and you clock out.

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah I just need to get my-” you stop mid-sentence when you turn around to see Harry already holding out your bag that had been hanging up in the prep area. You mutter a ‘never mind’ as you take it from him.

Harry grabs his jacket from the pool table and you stroll to the front door together, turning off lights as you go.

You finally step out into the chilly nighttime air. The only noises are coming from the small scattered groups of people gathering in front of the bars on the block that are just closing.

After locking the doors, you and Harry start trudging along the sidewalk up the steep hill. If you had known that it was going to get so much colder and windier during the night, you would have brought a jacket with you. You fold your arms and grit your teeth as another cold breeze hits you from the front.

You don’t even notice Harry taking off his jacket until he’s holding it in front of your face. You pause your walking for a moment to gently take it from his hand.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?”

“Well I’m not gonna watch you shiver all the way home.”

You frown a bit as you look at the jacket in your hands. You can still feel the warmth from Harry’s body heat on the hand that’s grasping the inside of it. Having that little bit of warmth already makes you feel better, but you hate to think that he’s going to be the one gritting his teeth against the cold.

He says your name through a chuckle and you look up to meet his eyes. “I’ll be fine. Just put the jacket on and let’s get you home, yeah?”

**April 26th, 2020. 5:30am**

It should be considered a crime to be wide awake at this hour, considering the small amount of sleep you’ve gotten. The only thing you had the energy to do when you got home last night was change out of your work clothes and fall into bed. You remember glancing at your clock and reading 3:15 a.m. before your eyelids grew heavy and closed.

The reminder of Harry’s drunk confession that you thought was water under the bridge is now flooding your mind as you desperately try to fall back to sleep. You try to push down the memory of his giggles as you made the strenuous effort of finding the switch on your living room lamp while having nearly all of his body weight leaned against you for support. You try to push down the memory of his flushed cheeks in the glowing yellow light when you finally got him settled on your couch. You try to push down the memory of running your fingers through his soft curls and giving his hairline a soft kiss before going to bed. You try to think of literally anything else.

It isn’t until the very first hints of daylight enter your room that you decide to give up.

The floor is cold on your feet as you walk to your bathroom, rubbing your tired eyes.

After a quick shower and putting on your favorite t-shirt and jeans, you feel less sluggish. You focus on going through your kitchen pantry to find something for your growling stomach.

Although you wish that you were still sleeping soundly in your bed, you think of how rare it is to get to see this city both at the dead of night and when it’s slowly starting to wake up. To be able to greet the light in your living room as it dances across the pictures on your walls and you mill about with your bowl of cereal.

The pictures lined up on your walls remind you of the project that you started last week that you need new photos for. You go to your closet and get the bag that holds your digital camera. Your mind is buzzing at the thought of taking it to the park before it gets too crowded.

You put on a jacket and shoes, pull your camera bag over your shoulder, and head out into the chilly Sunday morning.

********************

You round the corner of your block and start making your way down the steep hill, admiring the multicolored houses across the street that are glowing softly in the morning light. A smile spreads across your face as you reach into your bag for your camera and your fisheye lens. Once you’ve captured a few shots that you’re happy with, you move on toward the park.

You’re coming up on Harry’s building, and you instinctively glance up at the second story bay window that you know belongs to his apartment. Because this side of his building is still in the shade at this point in the day, you can see that his light is on.

“What’s he doing up?” you think to yourself. He’s always been an early riser, but considering how late you both stayed up, you would hope that he had been able to get some extra sleep.

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, Harry appears in the window. His blinds are wide open, so you can clearly see him stepping up to his record player and delicately placing the needle on the vinyl. A toothbrush hangs out of his mouth.

What your eyes are more drawn to, however, is his choice of clothing, or lack thereof. He’s standing in front of his window in nothing but a black t-shirt and a pair of underwear. You knew the t-shirt too well as the one he found at a thrift store years ago and became obsessed with after reading the ‘Treat People With Kindness’ logo on the front. He steps back from the record player and tilts his head back to brush his teeth. You watch as his jaw flexes and is accentuated by the light scruff of facial hair along it.

It’s becoming alarmingly clear to you that you are alone in the middle of the sidewalk, about thirty feet away from your best friend’s window, ogling him as he’s minding his own business. As much as your palms are sweating and your stomach is doing somersaults at the prospect of being spotted, you cannot bring yourself to continue walking. You wouldn’t mind becoming a permanent part of the sidewalk if it meant having this kind of view.

Harry turns and walks away from the window. You finally snap out of your daze and hurry past his window, thankful for the help of the downhill slope to move you along. Once you get to the corner of the block, you stop and lean your back against the building. Lightly smacking your forehead, you mutter out loud to yourself, “What the hell was that?”

********************

The trip to the park turned out to be a perfect way to spend the morning. You ended up taking a lot of pictures of murals and flowers before the park started to get too busy.

With your favorite album playing through your headphones, your mind is now buzzing with the excitement of having new photos to edit.

Once you cross the street, you’re now standing on the corner of your block. One way would lead you once again past the window to Harry’s apartment. The other way would help you avoid another potentially awkward sighting, but was much longer and usually includes lines for overcrowded restaurants.

Keeping your head down, you continue walking straight ahead in the same direction that you came from.

As you’re hiking up the hill, you suddenly hear a voice that you know is not coming through your headphones. You turn your volume down and listen to your surroundings. Plain as day, someone behind you shouts your name. You rip your headphones out and whip around to see Harry waving at you from his window.

“Hey! You wanna come up for breakfast?”

Your feet are firmly planted to the sidewalk, much like they were about an hour ago when you stood in the same spot and ogled this man.

You opened your mouth, not knowing what to say, and pathetically jabbed your thumb in the general direction of your apartment. “Actually I… I-I was gonna-”

“I’ve got coffee from Trieste,” he says in a sing-song tone.

You internally roll your eyes and curse him for knowing that you can never deny coffee from your favorite place in town. Plus, wracking your brain for a good excuse to be on your way is becoming difficult due to the hunger pains starting up in your stomach. That bowl of cereal is only holding you over for so long.

You look up at his dimpled face and relax your shoulders, “Okay, yeah. Yeah I’ll come up.”

“I’ll unlock the door for you!” is the last thing you hear before he shuts his window and you make your way to the stairs.

You climb up to the second story and turn down his hallway. When you’re standing in front of his door, you can hear music playing.

You open the door and you’re met with the sounds of trumpets. Harry has Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer” playing on his record player. He has it just loud enough to where it won’t annoy any of his neighbors, but it still fills every corner of the living room. It’s not the first time you’ve walked into a similar scene here. You know this to be one of his favorite songs to play in the morning.

You close the door behind you and take in the state of the room as you walk through. The instrument cases are a little more organized than they had been yesterday. Smaller ones are stacked up next to his workstation and the larger ones are stacked up in the corner next to his couch. His laptop sits open on the coffee table and a haphazard stack of blank paper repair tags sat next to it.

The camera bag on your shoulder is now starting to feel heavy, so you plop down on the couch. Your ears perk up at the sound of Harry singing along with the record from the kitchen.

“You can have an aeroplane flyin’. If you bring your blue sky back.”

Following the smell of coffee, you walk over to the doorway of the small kitchen. Harry is  standing at the counter. Thankfully he is not wearing the outfit that you saw him in earlier. He’s wearing brown trousers and a cream colored flannel with black and green stripes. He also has on his signature pair of scuffed up black vans.

There is a small table and two chairs in the corner of the kitchen next to the window with a vase of sunflowers and a couple of books sitting on it. You walk over to the table to inspect the books more closely. Art as Therapy by Alain de Botton & John Armstrong and The Course of Love, also by Alain de Botton. Before you get the chance to flip them over and read the descriptions, Harry clears his throat.

“Coffee’s ready.” He sets the kettle down on the counter and dances his way over to the cupboard where he keeps his mugs.

You can’t stop the smile that spreads across your face, admiring his ability to always be so energetic in the mornings.

He takes the filter out of the chemex and chunks it in the trash before pouring the coffee into two mugs. The way he turns with a mug in each hand, extending one to you, is extremely reminiscent of last night. After you take the mug from his hands, he scoots past you into the living room. The volume of the music lowers to a faint background noise before he appears again in the kitchen.

“So,” he pauses to reach into the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs and setting it on the counter, “what are you doing up so early? Figured you’d be in bed till noon. Seemed pretty exhausted last night.” He takes a long sip of coffee, waiting for your response.

Suddenly you’re doing everything to not look in his direction. Your eyes are shifting from the table to the flowers to the mug in your hands.

“Um… yeah I woke up at like 5:30 for some reason and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I just decided to take a walk with my camera.” Your last few words echo from your mug before you take a big sip.

Harry clicks his tongue. “M’ sorry, that sucks. Did you at least see anything interesting?”

You involuntarily gasp at his question, causing the coffee to go directly down the wrong pipe. Several harsh coughs erupt from your chest.

Harry acts quickly, muttering a quick “shit” before taking the cup from your hand and setting it on the table along with his. He steps behind you and you hear a chair scoot out from the table. His hands gently wrap around your upper arms, prompting you to have a seat. You fold over in the chair, gripping the edge of the table for stability. After a few more strong coughs, you’re finally able to catch your breath.

Harry’s fingertips rubbing soothing circles on your back sends electricity up and down your spine.

His hand slides off of your back as he steps away from you, “Alright? Want some water?” He’s already walking over to his cabinet and pulling out a glass before you respond.

Once you clear your throat, you croak out, “Yeah I’m fine, that’s fine.”

He sets the glass on the table in front of you, turns back to the carton of eggs on the counter and starts cracking some into a pan.

After taking some sips of your water, you say, “So I was going to ask you the same question. What are you doing up so early?”

“Well, funny enough, I also had to wake up around 5:30. I’ve got a client coming to pick up her trumpet this morning and I had to get everything sorted and clean up a bit before she got here.”

Nodding your head, you tease, “Oh yeah, it looks really good in there. Was starting to forget what your floor looked like.”

Your heart leaps at the sound of Harry’s belly laugh. “Wow. Wowwwwww. Already giving me a hard time. At this hour. Jesus.”

You laugh at his exaggerated reaction while he simply shakes his head.

There’s a knock at the front door. Harry reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Must be her, actually. I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want me to do those?” You stand up from your spot at the table and gesture to the pan.

“Sure, that’d be great, thanks,” he says over his shoulder when he exits the kitchen.

A moment later, you hear the sound of a woman’s voice greeting Harry. It sounds like they’re just standing in his entryway because you can’t really make out what either of them are saying.

Meanwhile, you go about scrambling eggs, making toast, and getting out plates and silverware. By the time Harry is back in the kitchen, you’re already starting to put everything on the table.

You pick up the books from the table and hold them up to Harry, “Where do you want these?”

“Oh uh, I’ll just put those on the coffee table.” When you hand them off to him, he holds up the copy of Art as Therapy. “This one’s for you though, make sure you take it with you today.”

You tilt your head in question.

“Just thought it looked like something you would enjoy. Saw it when I was looking for this other one.” He holds up The Course of Love.

Before you could say anything, he’s disappeared again into the living room.

Once you’re both sitting at the table and digging into your breakfast, Harry asks, “What are you doing tonight?”

You squint your eyes at him. “I mean, I don’t really have anything planned. Why do you ask?”

“Well that client that was just here offered me two free tickets to her jazz band’s show tonight as, like, an extra ‘thank you’.” He shrugs, “Might be fun to go to.”

With a straight face, you reply, “I can’t, I’m booked tonight.”

You stare at each other for a minute in silence trying not to crack a smile, until you both start snorting.

“I know you’re free because the bar is closed and Sarah is still sick.” Harry tosses his fork on his plate and leans back in his chair like he’s just won an argument.

You mirror him by crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair. “What if I have plans with Mitch? Sarah’s boyfriend?”

Harry furrows his brows and looks at you, baffled, “I know who Mitch is, why’d you have to say it like that?”

“Because I knew it would throw you off.”

“Alright, I’ll just take Mitch to the concert then.”

You drop your jaw and lightly kick his leg under the table. “What time is this concert?” You ask, slipping out of your teasing tone.

“It’s at seven.” Harry leans forward and lifts his coffee from the table, holding it up to you.

You grab yours from the table and clink it with his before finishing off the remainder of your coffee.

***********************

Back at your apartment, you’re leaning back in your chair at the desk in your living room, waiting for your pictures from today to upload on your computer. Your hands run over the smooth blue and green cover of Art as Therapy. In the few years that you have known Harry, you’ve swapped countless book recommendations back and forth, and the bookshelves in your apartments are constantly changing due to all of the borrowing you both do. You’ve even gotten each other books for birthdays and other holidays. This is the first book that he has bought for you completely unprompted. You hadn’t even heard of the author until today, so it’s not like he heard you mention in passing wanting to read his books.

You flip the book over and read the description, then flip to the first few pages to see a statement about the authors. “Their proposal is that certain great works of art offer clues on managing the tensions and confusions of everyday life and that, approached in the right way, art can help us answer both the intimate and the everyday questions we all ask ourselves.”

Quickly shaking yourself out of your own thoughts, you check the progress on your photos. Approximately 20 minutes remaining.

You huff, slap the book closed, and toss it on the desk before getting up and walking to your room. There’s an old shoe box on one of your shelves that you like to go through when you’re feeling sad or having a weird day, which feels about right at this moment.

You plop down on your bed and set the box in front of you, opening up the lid. The rush of nostalgia and warmth that comes over you when going through this box is overwhelming sometimes. It’s filled with miscellaneous photos that you’ve taken on your film camera over the past few years. There are some that capture your favorite buildings and murals throughout the city. There are a lot from when you went to the pride celebrations last year. The majority of the pictures in the box capture candid moments of your friends and family. These kinds of pictures are the ones that remind you of why you love photography so much and even after getting high marks on your work for the institute, these are the ones that you end up feeling the most proud of.

You see your friends from out of state standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge from the time they paid you a surprise visit. Another one shows your cousin at his college graduation. There’s one of your friend and coworker, Sarah, and her boyfriend Mitch from the day you and Harry helped them move into their new apartment, proudly holding up the keys, smiling from ear to ear.

And then there’s quite a lot of Harry. Harry playing pool at a bar across town, Harry at the beach tossing a football with Mitch, a kind of blurry one of him going crazy at an Ariana Grande concert. You laugh out loud when you find the one of him proudly wearing your dress during a drunken game of truth or dare, and the one of him making a ‘kissy’ face at you in those obnoxious Gucci sunglasses that he wore for pretty much an entire summer. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve experienced together until you go back and look at these pictures.

You’ve been flipping through them pretty quickly, but you come across one that makes you freeze. It’s from your friend’s birthday party a few months ago. You got someone to take a picture of yourself with Sarah and Mitch, but Harry decided to jump in. In the picture, Mitch is in the middle of you and Sarah, arms slung around each other’s shoulders, and Harry has his arms hugged tight around your middle and his cheek is pressed to yours. It could be seen as a form of affection, if his face wasn’t covered in icing from your friend’s birthday cake. The photo is perfectly timed to capture everyone’s shocked laughter.

Just by looking at this photo again, you can feel his smile against your cheek and his arms holding you close. It’s a feeling you’ve been wanting more of ever since that night. Maybe that’s the ‘intimate question’ you’ve been asking yourself- Do you really want more with Harry?

**April 26th, 2020. 6:58pm**

You’re sure nobody on the street could miss you and Harry. After saying quick ‘thank you’s to the uber driver, you grab hands and start jogging toward the entrance of the SFJAZZ Center- a three story building with windows wrapping all the way around. The show is supposed to start in two minutes. You would have arrived much earlier if Harry hadn’t left the tickets on his kitchen table. You’re both dodging and weaving through people on the sidewalk, you in your favorite floral dress and Harry in a bold green suit jacket.

Once in the lobby, you both reduce your pace to a brisk walk and you readjust the bag on your shoulder. Harry’s hand is still holding yours as you’re both scanning the lobby for the right place to go. You spot a couple of employees closing doors labeled ‘main hall seating’.

“Over here,” you say, pulling Harry along with you.

Luckily, you’re able to catch the ushers in time to show them your tickets and be let in. The expansive auditorium is filled with the sound of chattering people and musicians warming up their instruments.

Thankfully, your seats are in a row toward the back and to the left of the stage, so you don’t have to make too big of a scene when scooting past people. Right when you settle in, the house lights dim, the chatter rapidly dies down, and the band on the stage goes silent.

The lull is soon replaced with applause when a woman walks out and stands center stage. She introduces herself as the director of programming and welcomes the audience. “Thank you all for being here tonight. Your support means so much to this center as we continue to make music and art and do what we love to do.” She pauses to hold up a booklet in her hands. “As you may have seen in your program, tonight’s performance is a special one.”

For the first time, you glance around the room and notice almost everyone but you and Harry has a program in their lap or held in their hands.

The woman on stage continues. “Some of you may know this, and some of you may not, but April is the birth month of American jazz singer, Billie Holiday. So, to honor her legacy, this lovely band sitting behind me has put together arrangements of some of her greatest hits.” Applause fills the room once again.

“Some of the performances tonight will feature vocalists and some will be done with the band only, so I hope everyone will find something they enjoy. Now, without further ado, I present to you A Little Love, with Billie Holiday.”

There is applause for a third time, but your hands are suddenly too heavy in your lap to join in. As the director exits the stage and another woman, presumably the vocalist, takes her place, your mind is reeling at the situation you’re currently in. How have you wound up at a jazz concert dedicated to love, that you decided to attend on a whim, with your best friend that you suddenly have overwhelming feelings for?

All of the subtle signs and notions of feelings you have had over the years have turned into blaring alarms, and they’re all pointing to one person. The man sitting right next to you, who is also sitting stock still in his seat.

There’s a drumroll from the stage followed by a light and smooth saxophone solo that brings you back into the moment. The vocalist begins the captivating first verse of Billie Holiday’s You Go to My Head.

You go to my head

And you linger like a haunting refrain

And I find you spinning round in my brain

Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne

You slowly sink about three inches down into your seat. You wish you had a program now so that you could at least use it to fan your face. You reach your hand up to dab at your forehead.

At the same time Harry takes a deep breath and lightly trills his lips while itching the bridge of his nose.

The vocalist continues to sing the lyrics that are hitting you directly in the gut.

The thrill of the thought

That you might give a thought to my plea

Casts a spell over me

Still I say to myself “Get a hold of yourself”

Can’t you see that it never can be

You glance around the auditorium as much as you can without turning your head in Harry’s direction, wondering if anyone else is feeling the temperature rise or the tension that seems to be wrapped around the both of you.

You go to my head

With a smile that makes my temperature rise

Like a summer with a thousand Julys

You intoxicate my soul with your eyes

Though I’m certain that this heart of mine

Hasn’t the ghost of a chance in this crazy romance

You go to my head

Your mind is reeling yet again at the situation you’re in. This must be some kind of elaborate prank that the universe is pulling on you. You’re half expecting a spotlight to fall on you and Harry that nobody in the room would even question.

The feeling doesn’t lift as the concert goes on. Soulful songs about a lover’s eyes, falling in love, how easy it is to live when you’re in love. Even where there is not a vocalist, you seem to know what the songs are implying.

Something that comes up in your rapid stream of thoughts is the author’s note you read earlier, “approached in the right way, art can help us answer both the intimate and the everyday questions we all ask ourselves.” You ask yourself the question again: Do you want more with Harry?

You think about the pictures of the times you’ve spent together. Crazy shifts at the bar, days in the park, breakfasts, dinners, late nights staying up talking about god knows what. You know the answer. You’ve always known the answer.

It seems like your heart has caught up with your thoughts, because it’s pounding in your chest.

Halfway through the final song of the night, you decide to steal a glance at Harry. Slowly turning your head, you peek through the corner of your eye.

A quick jolt of electricity runs through your entire body when you see that Harry already has his eyes on you. You turn your head back to the stage, but you can still feel his gaze burning a hole in the side of your head.

When thunderous applause breaks out after the final song, Harry turns his head back to the stage as you both limply clap along with the audience.

******************

This is the most quiet car ride of your life. There isn’t even any music being played in the background. The only words that have been exchanged between you and Harry since the concert ended were when he asked you if it was okay for the uber to just drop you both at your building and you answered with a simple ‘sure’.

There are so many feelings swirling around in you that you don’t know what to do with, and you definitely don’t want all of them to spill out in this stranger’s car, so you keep your jaw clenched as you look out of the window.

The car comes to a stop outside of your building and you both mutter ‘thank you’s as you climb out. You both silently make your way through the lobby, up the stairs, and down the hallway to your door.

Just last night you were making the same trip. You were making light jokes about wanting to steal Harry’s jacket and he was joking back, accusing you of wanting him to freeze to death. You had to remind each other not to laugh so loud so you wouldn’t disturb anyone. Now the only sound in the hallway is your shoes on the floor.

Once you reach your door, you open your bag and start digging for your keys. “Thanks, um, thanks for inviting me. It was a really good show.” You find your keys and push them into the lock before turning your eyes to Harry.

He has one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah… Yeah it was... it was fun. Glad you could come with me.” He moves his hands from their places and awkwardly moves his arms out for a hug.

You smile and let out a sharp exhale through your nose at the awkwardness of this whole situation, but you gladly reciprocate the hug. Your arms completely wrap around each other, your hands tightly gripping his jacket. You can smell his cologne, like ginger and honey and cedar, and it’s making your head spin. You embrace for a few seconds and then release each other.

Harry sighs, “Alright, I’ll see you later then.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Harry shoves his hands in his pockets and slowly takes a few steps to turn away.

You turn the key in the lock, then turn your head to watch Harry take his first few steps away from you. You don’t want him to get any further.

“Harry?”

He stops and turns around to face you. “Yeah?”

You cannot believe the question that’s coming to your mind, but it’s the only thing that’s been coherent enough to put into words. You gulp and take a deep breath before asking, “Do you… do you still wish you could kiss me?”

You watch about three different emotions pass across Harry’s face. His mouth opens, his head tilts to the side, then his mouth closes and his eyes shift to the floor.

You feel a flood of regret. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember. That was stupid. He doesn’t remember. Just play it off.

You know your face is flushed with embarrassment as you speak softly, “I’m sorry. I just. That night that you were really drunk and I brought you back here, you said that you wish- that you wished y-”

Hearing Harry say your name stops your rambling. “Don’t be sorry. I know what I said.” He’s eyeing you cautiously and taking a couple of steps toward you again. “And… yeah. I still wish I could kiss you. Felt that way for… a while now.”

Tears are brimming your eyes as you look into his, trying to absorb what he’s just said. Then it’s almost like the floor beneath you tilts in his direction, nudging you to move forward until you’re standing directly in front of him. You can smell his cologne again.

With your eyes still locked into his, you slowly raise your hands to place them on the back of his neck, thumbs stroking the corners of his jaw.

After taking a shaky breath, you whisper, “I wish I could kiss you, too.”

Harry gulps and shifts his eyes down to your lips. He takes a deep breath through his nose before you feel his hand lightly grip your waist and his other hand takes a similar position on your neck.

You both stand there for a few breaths, eyes roaming over each other’s faces.

You start to lean in and then stop about half way and close your eyes. You’re both just waiting to see who will close the gap.

After a moment, you feel Harry’s grip on your neck and waist tighten and you feel him leaning in. Then his lips are on yours. They’re on yours again and again. You tilt your heads to deepen the kisses and he takes a step toward you. You follow his lead until your back is pressed against your door.

As much as it pains you to do so, you have to stop so you can catch your breath. You reach one of your hands into his hair and lightly pull him away. Both of you are breathing  in sync.

Once your breathing is evened out, you lock eyes with Harry. Your heart flutters when you exchange shy but knowing smiles and his thumb gently strokes your cheek.

After clearing your throat, you move your hand to your door knob. “Do you want to come in?”

Harry glances at your hand then returns his eyes to yours. He purses his lips and takes a sharp breath in. “I just want to know what you want.”

What just happened a few seconds ago already seems monumental to you. After the emotional roller coaster of this day, you’re not sure whether or not you’re ready for more tonight.

You take your hand from the doorknob and run it along his shoulder to return it to its previous position on his neck. “Honestly, I’m so fucking exhausted from today.” You watch as Harry nods his head in understanding. “I think all I want tonight is to hold you,” you notice the softness in his eyes, the same softness that you noticed for a fleeting second in the bar last night. “And keep kissing you.” This makes a lopsided smirk pop onto his face. “And I want to talk in the morning. About us.”

Harry leans in and presses a sweet peck to your lips. “I think we can do that.”

*******************

If anyone would have told you that your day was going to end with you and Harry in your bed, your head on his chest, and him running his fingers soothingly over your back, you wouldn’t have believed them.

“Harry?” you say softly, just as your eyelids are starting to get heavy.

His fingers stop for a moment, “Yeah?”

Thinking over the sequence of events that led you to where you are now, you start to erupt into sleepy giggles. “Did you know that the performance was gonna be,” you pause, trying to find the right word, “that?”

Harry lets out a deep belly laugh and when you glance up at him, he’s pinching the bridge of his nose. “I couldn’t have planned that if I tried.”

Before you know it, you’re both laughing uncontrollably, recounting the insane timing of the whole situation.

Harry rolls to his side so that he’s facing you and places a lingering kiss on your lips. “I’ll have to tell that client that any repairs she wants are on the house now.”

You throw your head back laughing and he pulls you into his chest, smothering your neck with kisses before resting his chin on top of your head.

If this is all you could have for the rest of your life, just a little love from each other, you would never want anything more.

************************************************************

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[sunny-x-endeavor]

Coffee Mates

Sunny x Endeavor Fanfic

Type: Mainly them meeting/introduction

Fandom: My Hero Academia Characters: Enji Todoroki (Endeavor), Sunny (OC)

word count:  1745 words (it’s about 4 pages in my google doc if that means anything)

Notes: This happens right before All Might retires and the first villain attacks at the school. This piece was mainly an ice breaker to start writing fanfic of these two. I needed to start somewhere. If need to put more information at the top of this please let me know. Also sorry for any type-o’s and poor grammar. I wrote this a 1am in the morning.

I stood quietly in the elevator by myself. In my left hand I held my empty coffee cup. I looked on my right hand at my smartwatch to see the time flip over to 11:31am. I was early for the meeting and had time to waste. I headed up to the break room to grab some much needed coffee. 

Ding. 

The doors opened. Stepping out of the elevator I could see at the end of the hall the meeting room already had a few people waiting inside the open door. Not enough people to start the meeting with, so I wasn’t worried about being late. Taking a sharp right I entered the breakroom and was blasted with heat. At first I thought the worst had happened, like someone left their fork in the microwave and caused a small fire. Stepping more in the room I got a better look at the source. A tall hulking man was standing over one of the coffee makers. He had fire spewing out of him.

“Is… Is that pro hero Endeavor at the coffee maker????” I thought to myself as I stared at his back. The man was wearing a navy blue suit and black oxford shoes. His mystery man was hunching over the coffee maker and messing around with it. Endeavor was the first pro hero that I could think of in my head who normally has flames coming out of him, but as a fellow fire based hero I know he wasn’t the only one. I didn’t want to assume it was and be wrong, so I got a little closer. He shifted his body to face me and then a step away from me when he realized someone was coming up behind him. I was able to get a better look at his face. With his red hair, flame beard, and piercing eyes I got the confirmation I needed. 

“Excuse me. Sorry!” I quietly brusted out as I stood next to him at the counter. I could feel my body quickly getting used to the heat and starting to feel normal again. I turned my head to quickly look at his face and back to face forwarding. He looked a little puzzled by my actions, or maybe by me being next to him? Either way I put my cup downed on the counter and then reached out my hand for a coffee maker. The moment I put my hand on the handle I realized the pot was empty. I then looked over to see the coffee maker next to the one I reached for; Endeavor had a glass pot in hand and was looking at me. The one in his hand was also empty and so was the cup next to him. 

“Ooooh!” I softly gasped. “I didn’t realize we were already out of coffee!” I quickly bent down to the cupboard in front of me and opened it.  

“.....Uh yeah.” I heard softly come from Endeavor as he took another step from me when I opened the cupboard. It was quiet and I almost missed it. I quickly filled both coffee makers with coffee grounds and water. I stood there watching them go to work. Endeavor stood there next to me. 

I looked over to him and said, “Sorry for being out of coffee. Normally we have a rule that whoever takes the last bit of coffee has to refill the pot. The last person probably forgot…” I wasn’t the best at small talk but I felt too awkward to just stand in silence. He looked back at me. I nervously adjusted my sunglasses on my face as I quickly looked away from him. I suddenly felt hot again, but this time it was being shy and nervous. It started to hit me that the number two hero was right next to me, and I was a nobody casually talking to him. I can feel my layback and casual nature backfiring on me at this moment. This is the time to be formal and I feel like I already screwed up. I could still feel his stare on me as we stood there.

The long pause was broken by his voice. “Have I met you before?” I looked back at him, his hand was on his chin as he looked at me. He looked like he was trying to think of where he knows me from. 

“Oh me?” I said shockingly. 

“Yes you.” He took his hand away from his face as he waited for my answer.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” I could feel my brain buffer as I nervously went into my brain trying to remember a time we were in the same room together before this. “Yes! Well… No… Well maybe uh deepens on how you see it.”

“What?”

“I have responded to fires and such that you were present for. We’ve been near each other on jobs, but never formally introduced.” I quickly snapped my finger and then pointed at him as I spoked. Trying to gentured I remembered.

“Ah I see…” He turned to face the coffee makers producing coffee. “I didn’t realize…”

“Uh, yeah it’s fine! Don’t worry about it. You see a million faces a day. You can’t always remember them all. Especially faces you’ve never talked to.” 

Beep beep. 

I brought my arm up to look at my watch. It was a reminder for the meeting in 15 minutes. I tapped my watch screen and pushed the notification away. I could feel Endeavor bending over me a bit and looking at my watch.

“What’s that?” He pointed at my watch.

“Oh? It’s just a smartwatch. It’s handy when I can’t hold my phone or lose my phone.” I said as I pulled out my phone from my back pocket. I looked at my phone and saw a text from my daughter.  I quickly tapped the keypadded to unlock my phone. My background was a photo of my daughter and I smiling. It was her first day of school, so she was wearing her uniform. I opened the text app and started to read the text. It was just a reminder from her that she would be at a friend's house for the weekend.

“Who is that as your background?”  I looked up at him to see he was still bending towards me looking at my phone. I didn’t realize he was still looking at my phone and watching me. “I’m sorry if that was a rude question. I just noticed she was wearing the same uniform my son's school has. I was just got curious.” 

“Oh that’s my daughter! She’s a first year at UN. Does your son also go there?” I put my phone back into my pocket. Then reaching for the pot in front me since it was finished pouring. “Also I didn’t know you had kids or a wife or anything… You always seemed like a lone wolf type of guy.” That came out ruder than I wanted it to be….

“Uh yeah… I do have kids. Well anyways I wasn’t sure what the relationship was since I didn’t see much of a family resemblance.” He snapped at me. It was a stab for what I said a moment ago and I deserved it. “She must look like her father then.”

“Oh, you’re right she doesn’t look like me at all. It’s because she’s adopted. Also no father here. I’m single as a pringle.” I stabbed back at him. I normally don’t like telling people my child isn’t my own blood, but I feel like I have entered a passive aggressive fight and I want to win. 

“No father? Could you not find anyone to have a child with you? You look so young tho...” I couldn’t tell if he was trying to make me upset or just thinking out loud at this point. Either way he was being nosy. 

“Tried! No man could do it for me. Also at that moment of my life I was in my raging lesbian phase, so I don’t think I was ever going to find one. Plus I couldn’t have my own kids due to my body’s abnormal body temp. Either way I was fucked…. Oh sorry excuse my language.”I said quickly and a little too loud. I then picked up my coffee cup and looked at him. His face was bright pink from hearing all of this shoved in his face. I don’t know which part got him flustered, but either way I think I won this conversation.

 “Anyways! See you at the meeting!”I said to him. I turned to face the door and took a sip of my coffee. My face twisted the moment it hit my tongue. I was too busy talking to remember to put sugar and creamer into my drink. I kept walking anyway. I’ll just fix my coffee after the meeting or something. I don’t know, I just want out of this room. 

“I um, I’m sorry for being rude.” Endeavor spoke behind me. I turned my body a tiny bit to see him while he spoke to me. He already had a cup of coffee in his hand and was following me now. “I understand why you’re being defensive. I’m also a single parent and I can be…. A little too much when it comes to my kids. If someone said such a thing to me I would be upset too. I should have thought before I spoke. I hope this conversation doesn’t ruin things.”

“Uh its…. It’s fine I guess. You’ll just have to repay me later for your rudeness.” I looked back at my watch; It was only 11:47am. Still 13 minutes before the meeting started. I then tucked my hand into my jacket pocket.

“Sure?” His voice sounded puzzled by what I said.

“For example…” I looked at him as I pulled out my wallet from my jacket. He looked at me confused and still a little bit pink in the face. I opened my wallet and then with a quick snap of my wrist a 2 foot long row of photos poured out of it. “For the next 13 minutes you could listen to me talk about how cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute my baby is!!!!” 

Endeavors face squished and eyes closed as a short hardy laugh bursted out of him after watching the photos coming out of my wallet. His face started to go pink once more.

Nailed it.

[harrytomylou]

You’ll always find your way back home.. - Louis (Includes Harry/Louis)

* I’m posting old fanfictions that I wrote onto this account simply because I want to keep them for myself *

No Trigger Warnings

Sometimes you feel like running, find a whole new life and jump in.

It was obvious really.

The pressure was getting to Louis and even the fans were beginning to notice it now.

‘Do you ever just wish you could go back to before?’ He whispered into Harry’s ear one night while they and Niall were watching Liam and Zayn play Mario cart in the living room area of their tour bus.

‘Do you?’ Harry replied, not willing to let his mouth answer the question himself. They all knew the answer. The entire band wanted to go home. They wanted to see their family and friends and Liam wanted to see his girlfriend. Louis wanted to stop being made to spend every minute of his spare time proving a fake relationship was real and spend time with his boyfriend and family instead and Harry wanted the exact same. They all loved their life. They loved touring and singing and none of them would change it for the world. They were just so stressed and their management wasn’t helping that. They just wanted to be themselves. Be in control of when they went home for a couple of days or when they stayed on tour and be in control of their own lives.

‘Yeah.’ Louis whispered before sighing and laying his head on Harry’s shoulder from his position on the sofa beside him. ‘Sometimes I just look at our fans and think ‘fuck, I wish my life was that easy again.’ You know?’ Louis muttered into his secret boyfriend’s collarbone.

‘Yeah.’ Harry whispered in agreement.

‘No hassle. No management. No hiding who they are. Nothing. They can be whoever they want to be. We have to be what management thinks will get them more money. I hate it, Haz.’

‘I know, Lou.’ Harry muttered back, sympathetically.

‘And the majority of our fans either live with their families or see them every other fucking day. I’m so homesick, Harry. Sometimes, I just want to run. Run away from everything.’

‘I know, baby. I know.’ Harry muttered as he turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to his fragile boyfriends head. ‘Everything will be okay. I promise.’ He whispered before taking Louis’ chin in his hand and pulling his head up slightly to connect their forbidden lips.

Your best friends, your little hometown, are waiting up where ever you go now; you know that you can always turn around.

Louis Tomlinson > Stanley Lucas

10:06am - Hey mate.

10:08am - Hey! How are you?

10:10am - Stressed, bored and ill. You?

10:14am - M’alright. Why you stressed?

10:17am - Touring and shit. The stress is making me feel ill… I just want to come home.

10:19am - It’ll be over soon, mate. Do you know when you’re next off?

10:23am - I hope so. I really miss everyone. We have a day off in about a week but we’re not allowed back to England for another 3 months! Manager says we’re too busy.

10:26am - That’s shit! We all miss you too, Lou. We’re all waiting up for you to come back!

10:30am - I’m waiting up to come back, man!

10:31am - It’ll fly by, mate.

10:32am - I really hope so.

10:34am - Miss you.

10:47am - Miss you too. Got to get back to rehearsals. Call me later?

10:50am - Course, Lou.

11:09am - Love you, Stan.

11:11am - Love you too man!

Louis Tomlinson > Jay Tomlinson

6:01pm - Louis, Stan came round earlier and told me about what you were texting about. If touring is too much for you right now, come home xx

6:44pm - I can’t. You know that xx

6:45pm - You can do whatever you need to. It’s your life and you’re my son. If you need to come home, you will xx

6:47pm - I’m okay, mum. Honest. I was just kind of letting everything out with Stan. I’m alright xx

6:49pm - No you’re not. I know you better than that, Lou. At least tell them you need a short break xx

6:50pm - I have. It’s not changed their minds. Money is more important to them.. xx

6:51pm - Just leave then? Xx

6:54pm - I can’t let everyone down like that xx

6:56pm - Oh, Louis.. Well, if you change your mind just call me. You��ll always be welcome here baby. It’s your home! Xx

6:58pm - I love you xx

7:00pm - Love you too, honey. Is Harry taking care of you? Xx

7:02pm - Yes mum :’). Go to go, concert. Talk to you later xx

7:04pm - Okay, baby. The girls and I love and miss you xx

7:05pm - Love and miss you all too.. So much xx

7:07pm - Have a good concert, boo. Remember you can always come home if you need too xx

When I’m feeling down and I’m all alone, I’ve always got a place where I can go.

‘Louis? You alright?’ Louis’ 13 year old sister answered the phone quickly.

‘Not really.’ Louis muttered as a reply. He had been wanting to call Lottie for hours but had held on to make sure she had returned home from school and was able to answer without getting in trouble. He had always been close to his younger sister. They spoke about everything and anything, their 7 year age gap not mattering to them one bit. Louis could trust Lottie with everything and she and Harry were often the only ones who could honestly cheer him up.

‘What’s up, bro? Isn’t it, like, midnight where you are?’

‘It’s 4 in the morning.’ Louis replied quietly.

‘Okay, now I know it’s something big.’ She stated. Louis stayed silent, a small smile already grazing his lips. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I’m just’ Louis paused, suddenly feeling stupid for calling her about something so insignificant while he should be sleeping and she would most probably rather be out with her friends.

‘You’re just what, Lou?’ She asked, worried.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘Louis, if you’re calling me at 4 in the morning, it’s got to matter.’ Lottie stated, suddenly sounding way more mature than a girl should be at her age. Louis laughed gently into the receiver. ‘Tell me?’ She asked, tone softening.

‘I just miss you.’ He whispered, blushing and burying his head into his tear soaked pillow even though she couldn’t see him. There was silence for a couple of seconds before the young girl spoke.

‘Oh, Lou.’ She whispered gently. She knew just how much it affected Louis, being away from home, her, their sisters and their mum so much.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.’ He mumbled embarrassed as he heard one of the other boys choke out a shut up from their bunk. ‘Fuck off.’ He called slightly louder to whoever it was. Lottie figured it wasn’t directed to her so she ignored it.

‘It’s alright, Lou. You can call me if you want to, you know that. I don’t care.’ She murmured down the phone, attempting to comfort her older brother. The one who was usually so strong and comforting her. Louis hummed in reply.

‘It’ll be over soon, Louis. You’ll be home before you know it.’

‘I hope so.’ He whispered, tears escaping his eyes again. Lottie sensed it.

‘Don’t cry, Louis. Not again. It’s okay.’ She whispered back.

‘How do you know I’ve been crying?’ He whispered, voice cracking in sympathy half way through his sentence.

‘I’m your sister. I know you.’ She laughed gently. He laughed too. ‘Where’s Harry?’

‘Asleep. I don’t want to wake him. He was so tired.’ Louis replied, wiping the stay tears away from his cheeks before burying his head back into the, now wet, pillow of the tiny single bunk bed.

‘Fair enough. Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want me to distract you?’

‘Distract me please, Lottie?’ He muttered vulnerably.

‘Of course. What time do you have to be up?’

‘6.’ He whispered.

‘Shit.’ She replied under her breath.

‘Yeah.’ He agreed.

‘Do you want to even bother trying to sleep or do you just want to talk for the next 2 hours?’

‘Talk.’ He spoke, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall again. ‘Lottie, I’m so homesick. I hate it. I just want to’ He paused, unaware or what he was even trying to say. ‘I don’t even know.’ He whispered.

‘I know, Lou. Only a little while now though. You can do it.’ She replied softly. Louis hummed, unsure. Lottie stayed silent, eyes searching around her suddenly empty room for something to talk about to distract her broken older brother. Louis was such a role model for her. She hated seeing (or hearing in this case) him hurting. It hurt her. Louis was always the strong one. The life of the party. To see management take away his freedom to the extent where his main personality traits left him was heart breaking for the new teen. Her eyes landed on a letter sticking out of the top of her school bag and she smiled gently.

‘I’m going to Thorpe Park in 2 weeks.’ She stated excitement evident in her voice. Louis smiled, hearing it.

‘With school?’ He asked. Lottie grinned even more as she heard the smile on Louis’ lips.

‘Yeah.’ She replied, thankful she had managed to cheer her personal idol up slightly, even if it was only temporary.

Where they know exactly who you are, where the real you is a superstar, you know it’s never too far away.

Louis sighed slightly as he felt Harry tighten his grip on the older boy. They were currently lying on the double bed of one of the many hotel rooms they stayed in at just gone 5 in the afternoon. They surprisingly only had a couple of interviews that day and had gotten back to their hotel room at about 4 o clock. Harry and Louis had left the other boys playing Xbox in Liam’s room and come back to their own to collapse on top of their beds in each other’s arms at about half  4. They had fallen into a pointless conversation easily which had died down by now and had been replaced with thoughts.

Louis was currently thinking about Doncaster.

He felt safe there. It was his home. The same sort of safe he felt with Harry. Despite being almost 3 years younger, the green eyed boy seemed to have that effect on Louis instantly. Louis had just felt a vibe from Harry. He was safety. Harry knew Louis like the palm of his hand. The same way pretty much everyone in his home town did.

Back home there was no secrets with Louis. Everyone knew he was gay. Everyone knew he was with Harry. That’s why he loved it. They knew and loved him for exactly who he was. He didn’t have to hide anything. They loved him for him. Louis from Doncaster. Not Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. And sometimes that was one of the most comforting thoughts. They cared. They weren’t pretending. They weren’t lying. They weren’t fake. They cared. He was loved back home. He was missed.

But you know what? With Harry around to help, for Louis home was never that far away anyway.

You can learn to fly and you can chase your dreams, you can laugh and cry but everybody knows, you’ll always find your way back home.

'Oh my god.’ Louis heard a small voice mutter from the doorway of the kitchen in which he was currently stood making a cup of tea. He grinned happily before abandoning what he was doing and turning around to face the younger girl stood behind him.

‘Hey Lottie.’

‘Oh my god.’ She repeated slightly louder, eyes fixed on Louis’ as a wide smile spread on her face.

‘What?’ They heard Jay shout from the hallway.

‘Hi mum.’ Louis yelled through the house, grinning even more when he heard his mother’s shocked gasp.  

‘Lou.’ He heard his little sister whisper as she practically ran into his arms. He let out a small laugh as he hugged back tightly.

‘Louis!’ He heard two younger girls exclaim as he pulled away from Lottie.

‘Dais! Phoeb!’ He opened his arms and crouched down as his two 8 year old sisters ran towards him wrapping their arms around his neck and clinging to it. He distantly heard Lottie laugh gently.

‘I thought you weren’t coming home for, like, another week? I thought you were coming with Harry?’ Felicite asked joyfully as she hugged her older brother tightly, seconds after the two girls had let go. Louis laughed again.

‘We got bored in London and missed home too much so we decided to stand up to management. Harry’s gone back to Cheshire for a week and I’ve come here.’ He replied as he walked over to his mum, the last of the five to walk through the kitchen door, pulling her into a tight hug as well as she dropped the bags in her hand carelessly onto the floor. He and Harry were supposed to drive down to Doncaster exactly a week later to join both his immediate family and Harry’s, who were staying in a hotel for a week so they could be with the two boys, Jay and the girls.

Carefully wiping away the small happy tear that had escaped his eye, he pulled back seconds later just enough to allow both he and his mum to pull all 4 of his younger siblings in to join them in a group hug.

He had missed this. He had missed them. He loved his life. He loved everything about it. The singing. The foreign countries. The screams. The band. His boyfriend. It was all a part of his dream. He’d got there. They’d done it. But right now, his family were taking over that. His sisters and his mum. His world. His happiness. He loved them more than he ever would the fortune and fame.

And as much as he loved Harry, Doncaster and his family were his true home.

You’ll always find your way back home..

[babobyounggon]

[12:47am]

you always felt so loved whenever you were with byounggon. the little things he did like tucking you in before he went to practice, sending you good morning/night texts whenever he was staying at the dorms, holding your hand whenever he noticed they were cold. you loved it all. whenever he’d make sure you ate at lest 3 filling meals, make sure you got fresh air at least once a day, making sure you drank your eight glasses of water. byounggon never failed to make ur heart skip a beat, and you couldn’t wait to enter the new year with him.

-

A/N (please read!!) - soooo this scenario is a bit late as we’re already a few weeks into the new year. i wrote it and saved it into my drafts but never posted it bcos honestly i forgot about it loll it’s super short and a solid 2/10 but i hope u guys enjoy it nonetheless. also..... i have a surprise coming up soon so pls look out for it hehe

[oohh-honey-honey]

Broken Together

Ships: Prinxiety

Characters: Roman, Virgil

Warnings: Insecure thoughts, panic attack, mention of death, mention of potential injury

Work count: 591

Ao3

~~

A.N. I wrote this?? Last year?? Don’t know, still one of my favorites

~~

Experts say it takes a minimum of two weeks for love to form. The gay disasters say it taken ten minutes.  

2:47am

Roman grumbled, slamming his head against the poor table for what must have been the hundredth time that hour. He was silently grateful for the fact that none of the sides could get physically hurt, or else he couldn’t imagine what sort of headache he would have. The creative side stared down at the crumpled paper. Each had some new idea or doodle scattered on the page. It was a broken sort of tidiness. He stared fondly at each one. keep an optimistic view, he thought, at least I’m making something. 

2:48 am

Virgil watched the clock illumination the screen of his phone. He silently urged it to move forward faster. Each passing second felt like another weight pushing down the, already very prominent, eyebags on Virgil’s face. The air around him stood mockingly still, laughing at the misfortune of Virgil’s awake-ness. He glared at it. The air glared back. 

2:49

Truely, Roman’s desk didn’t deserve this. And, while it was true the sides couldn’t get hurt, that rule did not hold for any other object in the mindscape. This fact was reiterated as Roman put a bit too much strength into his frustration, sending his table into a thousand splintered pieces. God, he was too tired to fix it. 

2:50

It was no secret that Virgil was a fool when it came to healthy habits and common sense. For as much as he put on the halloween-loving, edgy, persona, he would definitely be the first to die in any and all horror movies- if it was his own choice or not is up to interpretation. This was proven true when he decided to investigate the loud and obviously murderer-esque sound that came from across the hallway. 

2:51

Roman sighed, falling softly to the ground. Optimism seemed to decide there were much more worthy hosts, and left him. 

He was no stranger to insecure thoughts. Granted, that didn’t change how bad they hurt each time. Not that they were wrong. 

Maybe he wasn’t good enough. Maybe his ideas were stupid and unoriginal. Maybe he didn’t deserve to-

2:52

If there was strong anxiety or depression in the mindscape, Virgil knew. It was perhaps why he and Patton had grown so close, and maybe why Logan seemed to avoid his during distressing times. And it might have been the reason Virgil felt a punch to the gut as he passed the creative side’s room.  

He went inside. 

2:53

During intense stages of panic, one seems to forget things needed to survive. As Roman has begun to so brilliantly demonstrate, breathing is one of them. 

Maybe it was those stupid thoughts- or it could be the anxiety that slowly bubbled inside him. Or… it might be the personification of woe and panic looming over the broken pieces of him. That was probably it.

2:54

Before entering the room Virgil knew what state Roman was in. once seeing him, it was exactly what he’d thought. Shaking violently in a ball, barely fitting the criteria for a human, much less a fully in-tact one. He bent down.

2:55

The words were muted, only showing up in shattered fragments,

“...-re you o-...”

“...-n you breathe with m-...”

“...in for f-...”

“...-hold for sev-...”

“...-out for eigh-...”

2:56

2:57

2:58

“... Thanks, Virge.”

“No problem. At least now we can be broken together.”

[imaconstantmess]

Until. Part 2/?

Part 2, criticism still needed and welcome, wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged/ noted because you gave me the confidence boost to write a part 2 ❤️

Is this too long? Please let me know 

part 1 here

Steve x gender neutral! Reader

Steve’s mind has been occupied for the past few weeks, and it’s got something to do with the recruit he’s been assigned to train.

Warnings: swearing

The ride home on the back of Steve’s bike was loud. You could feel the wind nipping at your skin and the engine roaring underneath you, and it was brilliant. You smiled wide as the blur of New York lights went past you, and almost felt like letting out a ridiculously loud laugh until you remembered who you were riding with. You thought it best not to embarrass yourself infront of your captain. As Steve got closer to his home, the sound of traffic grew quieter. The city never does really sleep.

He pulled up behind a large, fairly average looking apartment building and started to turn the keys to his bike. You let go of his waist and hopped off the bike before it got awkward, and started to fiddle with the strap of your- his- helmet. Steve looked at you with a slight smirk while he watched you struggle. He was about to do it for you when you found the little side clip preventing you from taking it off. You let out a little victory sound as Steve raised an eyebrow at you.

“What? It’s not like it was obvious” you smiled at him. The bike ride made you feel better than you should have felt, considering what had happened, however you found it hard to be upset in the prolonged presence of the dear old captain.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.” He laughed with mock offence. You two made small talk while walking to the elavator, Steve letting you in first. He pressed the button and stood back, turning to you. “You can stay with me for as long as you need, you know. I wasn’t fond of Starks curfews either”

“Thank you, Steve. Really, you’ve got no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me.” You sent him a warm, but tired smile which he returned. The lack of sleep was brought back to your attention with the yawn you had to stifle. You both got out of the elevator, and let Steve lead you to his apartment. You were both being quiet, considering your neighbours, as as you entered the apartment you took in how nice it was. It was modern, but still homey. Part of you expected it to be at least a little out-dated, but we’re pleasantly surprised.

“Nice place you got. Was almost expecting it to look like my grandmas living room” you joked. Steve cracked a smile and tried not to laugh. He loved it when you made backhanded compliments like that, it helped him find humour and a bit of normality in his strange situation. It also kept him sharp.

“If the pottery she keeps sending you is any indication, that woman’s got style” he hung his jacket up and motioned for you to do the same.

“She takes commissions you know. I’ll tell her to give you the friends and family discount” you sent him a mischievous smile as you both walked towards his kitchen. The warm neutral tones his lamps created made you feel sleepy, but for some reason you wanted to be awake.

“I’ll keep that in mind if I need a fruit bowl. Or a key bowl. Or a-“

“OK I get it, my grandma likes making me things.” You finished with a laugh. Steve smiled too, and you saw his eyes crinkle. But those crinkled eyes looked tired, which reminded you why you were here. You pulled out your phone from your back pocket to glance at the time. 3:47am. You hadn’t even realised.

Steve noticed something different when you pulled out your phone. He’d noticed the texts Tyler had sent you, and a few missed calls. He didn’t see what he wrote, he just saw the heart emoji still next to his name. He’d seen it pop up while you were training before. It also reminded him why you were here and not getting the rest you deserve. With that thought, he turned to go towards his room, leaving you a little bit confused on what to do.

“Wait here a sec, I’ll get you something to sleep in. There’s a washer- dryer- combo thing that stark gave me in the utility room “ he scrunched his eyebrows a little when trying to explain it “you can wash your clothes for in the morning” as he left, you took more time to admire the apartment. Warm tones and wooden furniture, with navy blue accents here and there. It was very... Steve. You couldn’t see any pictures on the walls, but the apartment felt lived in. There were a few books placed neatly here and there, and you smiled when you saw the record player in the corner. And then at the other side of the room, a stereo, which screamed ‘STARK’. Behind the stereo you saw lots of CDs, and wondered what kind of modern music Steve was into. You were friends enough to know that Bucky was Steve’s best friend, and friends enough to know that Steve trusted you with the embarrassing tales of his childhood and early 20s that you couldn’t find in the history books. He sometimes talked of his mother, Sarah when he was in a good mood, saying he wished she could see the world today. You told him about your current life, about what shows you were obsessed with, about times when you were not the witty shield agent he usually saw, but just a regular dumbass going about their day to day life. He’d scolded you for calling yourself that, but after tripping over your shoes and going nose first into your door that morning, you begged to differ. It’s not like you hid your past from him, but the subject never really came up. It was a pretty normal childhood in your opinion, although you rarely saw your dad as he worked abroad a lot. Your mother was a stressful person, but she could also be the most understanding mother in the world. You went to a normal school and had normal friends, and there wasn’t really much else too it. But for some reason, the idea of bringing justice to the world had stuck with you since you were a kid. Funnily enough, you’d wanted to be a superhero. You never thought you’d end up actually working with one.

“I don’t really have anything smaller, but I think these should fit?” He handed you a pair of grey gym shorts and a light grey t-shirt. They were too big for you, but with the mans super soldier size it was understandable.

“I’m just surprised you own a pair of shorts” Steve rolled his eyes “it’s like you live for joggers and jeans”

“I mean if you don’t want them-“

“No no, these are fine. Thank you.” Steve smiled, he knew he’d won. Your relationship with him was built on free flowing jokes, sarcasm rooted deeply within you both. Steve was usually just a bit more reserved, keeping his comments to himself. He felt comfortable enough not hold back infront of you.

“Good news though” Steve said with an easy grin.

“And what would that be?” You really hoped he wasn’t being sarcastic.

“I’m giving you- well us- the day off tomorrow. There’s no way in hell I’m training recruits when I’m this tired.” He ran a hand through his hair and rested his hand on his neck as he let out a small sigh.

“Does somebody get cranky?” You laughed at him while he rolled his eyes. “Because honestly, I’d be cranky too. Hope you don’t mind, but I’m not setting an alarm”

“Trust me, I’m not either. Been dying to get a decent nights rest for a while now. Your rooms just down the hall, want a cup of coffee or anything?” You couldn’t read the look on his face, putting it down to you just being tired after over 24 hours of being awake. Steve was hoping you’d stay up for a while longer. He knew it was selfish, but talking to you, with no distractions or interruptions was addictive. He’d been savouring every moment he could get with you, never crossing the platonic line you had created. He wouldn’t make a move on you, but by god did he wish he could. At first glance, he knew you were attractive. Not just in your looks, but the way you held yourself and the personality that seemed to shine through when you spoke. You were reserved, yet confident in whatever short sentences you had to say. And that was just the beginning. The reason Steve had been losing sleep was because of you. He’d be worried when you came to training irritated or angry, but not unloading your problems or talking to anyone- to him - about them. He kept himself up at night, debating whether or not his feelings had begun to border romantic or of it was just a crush that would go away. He never dared think of you in a sexual way, feeling as if it was a boundary, that if crossed would change his behaviour towards you. Change his behaviour enough to push you away, when all he wanted to do was hold you tight and tell you everything was going to be alright. But it wasn’t his place. Before, that was Tyler’s job. He was the one who was supposed to comfort you, because he was the one you chose to give your world to. And he took it and he threw it away, and he hurt you. And Steve was willing to bet he hurt you more than you’d let on and he was angry. You didn’t deserve heartache at all, and seeing you with tears in your eyes, in such a vulnerable place made his heart hurt too. Before he could think about it any longer, you spoke.

“Nah I’m alright. I think I’d better head to bed. Not everyone has super-soldier-stamina like you” you held the clothes Steve had given you a little closer to your chest. He gave you an understanding smile, and gestured you to go down the hall.

“There should be a couple of spare toothbrushes in the cabinet. Take your pick.” Steve stepped back a little as he gestured, not realising how close you were. You made your way to walk past him, peeking down the hall.

“Goodnight Steve” you placed your hand on his arm “and thank you. For- well for everything” Steve’s heart swelled at the contact.

“You’re welcome y/n. Go get a good nights rest. I’ll be here in the morning.” With one last smile you made your way to the room at the end of the hall, while Steve entered his own. The room had a standard double in the middle, a set of drawers and 2 night stands on either side of the bed. You found the lamp that was on the drawers, and as you turned it on you could see the room clearly. The walls were white, but the carpet was a nice, dark grey. The curtains that outlined the window looked more for decoration, a simple line pattern going across brought a little colour into the room with different shades of blue. There was a grey black out blind, which you were grateful for, and not much else. The furniture was wooden. Painted white. The lamps and the bedding were a simple blue, which matched the curtains well. You could tell it was a guest bedroom. It wasn’t lived in at all. To your left you saw a door, which you assumed would be the en suite. As you thought of a shower, you remembered how gross you must look and decided the first thing you were going to do was shower. The bathroom was nice, but small. It had a decent mirror, and as you looked at it you wondered if Steve noticed the bit of ketchup on your face from earlier. You found a toothbrush in the cabinet, and what looked to be toothpaste. You set them aside as you turned the water on. As you got in the hot shower, your muscles relaxed and you were left alone with your thoughts. Which, as you would find out, was a bad idea. You thought of Tyler, and the life you had made together just suddenly gone. You remembered how you’d both laughed and cried at the same movies, and how many times you’d had dinner with your mother. All of it just... gone. A flood of emotions went through you as your face felt hot and your eyed stung.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry...”you whispered as you felt the tears escape “...fuck” you were in the shower a few minutes longer than you would have been, having cried out all the pent up emotion. You got out and dried your hair with a towel, and changed into Steve’s clothes. You felt a strange sense of calm, when you put them on. The smell of Steve was usually clean, like fresh linen, and something just distinctly... him. You crawled into bed after turning the light off, and let sleep consume you.

——————————————————-

When you woke up, you felt a whole lot lighter. You checked your phone, which was on 17%, and the time read 10:30. You didn’t sleep for as long as you would have liked, but your stomach rumbled and compelled you to get up and have breakfast. You washed your face with cold water to wake you up a little and headed towards the kitchen.

——————————————————

It was 7 am when Sam and Bucky met up for their usual daily run. The sun was starting to come out and they were ready to go, except they were missing someone.

“You heard from Steve? He’s usually on my ass about being late” sam said as he was doing a little stretching before the run.

“Was about to ask you the same thing. He did leave late last night after your trainee decided to try play a power move. Could hear Fury giving the speech to the trainees about how you must ‘treat each mentor how you would treat your own’” Bucky replied, doing a half-assed impression of the Director. Sam let out a chuckle.

“Old mans probably catching up on his beauty sleep. I’ll go over after we’re done. Coming with?” Sam finished his stretching and limbered up a little.

“Sure thing.” Bucky was a little concerned about Steve. Usually he’d call or text if he couldn’t come on a run, but he had been tired lately.

They both settled in to a comfortable pace, Bucky going slower than usual to keep Sam company. It was around 9:45 when they’d finished. Sam was sweaty, but used a towel to dry off and after some deodorant, put on a new shirt.

“You always keep a change of clothes in your car?” Bucky asked, only half sarcastic.

“With the situations y’all put me in, it’s nice to be prepared” Sam’s tone was light, showing that he was joking. Bucky was getting used to the dry humour Sam had, and although he’d never admit it he usually found him quite funny.

They got in the car and after about 5 minutes of having a drink and catching their breath, they started making their way to Steves apartment.

———————————————-

Steve had woken up just before 10. He had a quick shower before exiting his room, now in some comfy jeans and a T-shirt he found in his wardrobe. He wasn’t really planning on going anywhere today, but he was going to ask what you wanted to do. He was about to look in the fridge before he heard a knocking at his door. He went to answer it, as it was getting louder and louder by the minute. He already knew who it was. He opened the door with a blank expression as Bucky and Sam strolled into the apartment.

“Where were you man? Didn’t feel like leaving me in the dust today?” Sam asked as he looked in the fridge, frowning once he saw it was empty. “You got anything to eat? I’m starving.” And as if on cue his stomach rumbles.

“Please say you do, he’s been complaining all the way here” Bucky added with a smirk. Sam was about to retort when Steve spoke.

“Could you guys keep it down a little?” And from the looks on their faces he knew he just said the wrong thing.

Sam spoke up first, putting 2 + 2 together.

“Why? Who else is here?” He said much quieter, but Steve heard it. He knew he wasn’t going to hear the end of this.

“Wait, you actually brought someone over?” Bucky couldn’t believe it. Steve finally had the guts to pick up a date. The faint sound of water running confirmed their theories.

“Are they hot?” Sam asked with anticipation on his face.

“Are they nice?” Bucky asked, a bit more protective of his friend. Steve had little luck/ experience in the dating department and he didn’t want his friend hurt. Before Steve could answer, the door to the spare room opened. They heard footsteps coming down the hall and waited for who it could possibly be.

—————————————————

You stepped out of the hall into the kitchen, phone in your pocket as you were debating to go knock on Steve’s bedroom door. You jumped as you saw 3 men in the kitchen, but calming down when you recognised the familiar faces.

“Morning” you greeted them with a tired smile. Bucky and Sam just stared at you. “What’s up?” You asked with caution. They didn’t seem to blink.

“...is this what it looks like?” Sam asked, gesturing to your attire. Tired from just waking up, you didn’t get the meaning behind his words.

“Is what what it looks like?” You asked as you his a yawn.

“Did you two...?” Bucky made a more obvious gesture between you and Steve. You glanced down, momentarily forgetting what you were wearing. You supposed it did look a bit suspicious.

“Oh! Uh, no. We didn’t- we didn’t do anything like that.” You had blushed a little, the situation being a little more than embarrassing. Steve spoke up then, saving you from the questions that were bound to be fired at you.

“Y/n needed a place to stay last night. It was a little last minute, so I let y/n borrow some clothes” Steve didn’t want to tell them what happened, he didn’t feel as if it was his place. Bucky saw the worried look on Steves face and decided to speak.

“What happened?” He asked softly “how come you didn’t go home?” You and Bucky were friends. You weren’t as close to him as you were to Steve, but you two talked often enough around the compound to consider each other friends.

Steve looked at you then, worried about of you actually wanted to tell them. You caught his look and gave him a small smile that seemed to say ‘it’s ok’.

“Well, long story short, I did go home, but me and Tyler had a bad fight. I couldn’t stay there, and Steve found me and offered me a place to sleep.” Bucky looked a lot more understanding to the situation while Sam looked angry.

“What an asshole.” Sam muttered under his breath. You let out a little laugh at that and it lightened the mood.

“You and him still together?” Bucky asked, still speaking softly. He met Tyler once, you two passed him on the street and you stopped to say hi. Tyler didn’t look interested in what you were saying at all, and Bucky had caught him staring at a woman walking past. He didn’t say anything to you then, not wanting to cause an argument when you looked happy. He’d told Steve of course, and Steve nearly knocked another punching bag off it’s hook.

“No, we aren’t. And Im not planning on being with him again. Ever.” You said with a bit of anger in your voice. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to tell them what caused you to leave. “He tried to get physical. Threw something at my head. Not putting up with that bullshit... so I wandered around for a while and found Steve. That’s it.” You looked directly at Sam as you finished your little speech, feeling as if he would have something to add. He kept quiet at your look. Everyone seemed to almost look down, unsure what to say. You decided to lighten the mood. “Is there anything for breakfast? I’m starving.”

“No, there isn’t, because SOMEBODY doesn’t want to keep his fridge full.” Sam gave a pointed look at Steve, and Steve seemed a little offended.

“I’ve been busy! And you two eat most of the food I buy.” Bringing Bucky back into the conversation. Sam and Steve carried on with the friendly banter and you were laughing at them along with Bucky.

“You’re both like an old married couple” you said to them both, which made Steve shut up and Sam act mock offended.

“Old? You’re calling me OLD? I have never in my LIFE been more insulted. I thought we were friends y/n” you couldn’t keep a straight face as you both burst in to laughter. Steve was happy. You were here, you were laughing with his friends. He could get used to it.

“How about we go out for breakfast? It’s not even 11 yet” Bucky suggested , looking at his watch. Steve remembered your attire, and thought it’s probably best you didn’t go out like that- you’d be uncomfortable being in a busy place in your pjs. Before he could step in for you, you answered.

“As much as I’d love that, I don’t have any clothes. I forgot to wash mine yester- well, this morning “ Sam had a thoughtful look on his face.

“Do you have the key to your apartment?”

“Yeah, why?” You didn’t know where this was going.

“I can go pick up some stuff if you’d like.” Sam asked you, and Steve cursed himself for not offering to do that sooner.

“I’ll go too. Help carry some things” Bucky was being a gentleman, but he was really going to make sure none of your things had been broken. People do weird things when they’re angry. And also, to stop Sam from ‘throwing hands’ as the spider boy called it. It would give you and Steve some time to talk at least.

“Really? You two are life savers.” You looked at everyone.”I’ll go find my keys” you turned around and headed for your room. You came back, gave them the keys and they were off. You turned to Steve with a smile, he’d been quiet.

“You ok? If you’re still tired you should get some rest” your brows creased a little bit in concern. You didn’t know if he got much sleep.

“I’m fine n/n, I’m more worried about how YOU’RE doing” he mirrored your concerned stance. He’d never called you n/n before, it was nice. You told him that you were fine, that you were better than you thought you’d be. He listened to your every word, making you feel as if what you had to say was actually important. It was nice having someone listen to your problems for a change. Sam and Bucky called, they didn’t actually know where your apartment was. They FaceTimed using Steve’s phone, pointing out which things were yours. You and Steve were on the couch at this point, sat quite close so you both could be on camera. Neither of you mentioned it, but you weren’t complaining. After getting some things like your laptop, phone charger, a rucksack full of clothes and your safe box from under the bed (you kept your gun and money in it, easier to grab in difficult situations. Every trainee had one) they were on their way back. Bucky accidentally turned the camera around, and was walking around with it pointed to the floor. As he stepped around the broken pottery from last night, Steve saw how many broken pieces there were. He knew it was thrown hard.

“Bucky, we can’t see you” you said to him. Bucky pointed the phone at his face but the camera was still turned around. There was a hole in the wall, and it looked big. Steve almost went white, that could have been your skull. He kept quiet as Bucky turned the camera around.

“We’ve got most of your stuff, but I think you might have to come find the rest” he said as he gave a quick glance round.

“Yeah that’s fine. Don’t forget to lock up, see you two later”

“Later”

Bucky ended the call and left you and Steve alone on the couch. He looked at you and asked if you were alright. His arm was along the top of the sofa, behind your back. You leaned back into his arm and let out a sigh. This was the most intimate position you two had ever been in outside of training, but it felt natural. Nice, even. You told him how you would be a lot better after you had food, and laughed it off.

You’d never had support like this before. You’d never had friends who were willing to take you in without even being asked, to drop everything. That was until you met the avengers. Until you met him.

Until you met Steve Rogers.

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A/n: am I making these too long? Or rambling? Idk I’ve never written before so sorry if it’s not great 🥺