#i wrote so much i'm sorry

[firehose118]

outsider perspective for @bucktommypositivityweek

Even with everything else going on, Bobby notices that Buck is particularly restless in the weeks after the cruise disaster. He figures it’s nerves about Chimney and Maddie’s wedding or the bachelor party. He doesn’t pay much attention to it. 

Buck’s restlessness hits an all-time high around the time Eddie is out with a sprained ankle. Bobby attributes it to the absence of his partner and doesn’t think much of it. 

And then, only two weeks before the wedding—just when Buck should be getting even more stressed out—Buck gets very calm. Maybe more calm than Bobby has ever seen him. And he stays that way.

Something changes for him between one shift and the next, but he doesn’t talk about it; just walks around the firehouse with a small smile on his lips and a spring in his step. For the first time, Bobby thinks Buck looks at ease with himself.

Bobby waits patiently to find out why. 

He officiates the hospital wedding with tears in his eyes. He’s proud of Chimney, happy for Maddie, and he’s still sensitive from the fresh wave of appreciation for Athena and their life together he’s felt since they almost died on their honeymoon. 

When he sees Buck lead Tommy into the hospital room by the hand—his face covered in soot that’s clearly transferred from Tommy’s, smiling wide and goofy, bouncing his way towards his sister and the cake with a lightness Bobby hasn’t seen from him in a long time—Bobby instantly understands this is it. This is what finally allowed Buck to feel at ease. The tears are back in his eyes. 

“Did you know about this?” Athena asks Bobby quietly. 

They’re watching Tommy try to figure out how to greet Maddie without getting any soot on her beautiful dress. He ends up awkwardly kissing her hand, which makes her laugh in delight. Buck can barely contain his excitement at the two of them getting along. He looks like he should be wagging a tail. 

“No, I didn’t have a clue,” Bobby answers honestly. “But it explains a lot.” 

Bobby can’t say that he didn’t see this coming for Buck. They’ve been out on too many calls where Buck has tripped over himself in front of hot men for this to be a surprise. True, Bobby didn’t foresee Tommy being Buck’s first relationship with a man, but he’s glad he is. Tommy is a good guy. Bobby might not know him well, but he knows that much. For Buck to finally settle into this part of himself with Tommy by his side fills Bobby with joy for both of them. Tommy will treat Buck well, and will be treated well in return. 

Bobby watches as Tommy wets a paper napkin with condensation from his drink and tries to clean what is obviously the soot of his kisses off of Buck’s mouth. Bobby sees the soft, smitten way Tommy smiles at Buck—like it’s a privilege to do this; like Buck is something to be treasured. Bobby sees the way Buck smiles so hard at the simple intimacy that Tommy has trouble reaching inside his dimples. Bobby has never seen Buck smile quite like this. There’s nothing inappropriate about it, but Bobby almost feels like he shouldn’t be seeing it. It’s so nakedly tender that it feels like it should be private. 

Tommy finishes cleaning the soot off as best he can and gives Buck a gentle kiss. Buck laughs gleefully when Tommy grimaces and wipes where his lips just were again. They’re too far away for Bobby to hear, but he sees Buck say, I don’t care, and lean in for another quick kiss. The corners of Tommy’s lips turn up. He doesn’t try to wipe the soot off this time. 

It’s so early, but Bobby can already tell that this is the kind of love that Buck has been waiting for; the kind he deserves. There’s a maturity under the flirtation—a steadiness—that Bobby can feel from across the room. It’s early, but it isn’t casual. Buck doesn’t love by halves, and Tommy is already all in. He wouldn’t have shown up to a hospital wedding in ash-covered turnouts if Buck wasn’t special to him. 

The last Bobby knew, Tommy didn’t do relationships. That was a long time ago. When they worked together at the 118, Bobby could always tell that Tommy was holding parts of himself back. He’d talked about being intentionally single almost convincingly, but sometimes Bobby had seen a bit of panic under it. Sometimes a wistfulness; a longing he’d shove down with a careful dismissiveness. Bobby had taken notice, but he hadn’t locked into where it came from at the time. Maybe if Bobby had spent more time with Tommy before he transferred—if Bobby hadn’t been drowning in his own demons at the time—he would have understood this thing inside of Tommy a little better. But he understands it now: under the jaded matter-of-factness and from inside the closet, Tommy had been bursting at the seams to love and be loved. He just didn’t know how to let himself have it. 

Buck had the same need inside of him: he’d worn that love me love me love me desperation on his sleeve for years. Tommy is the first of Buck’s partners to meet him on this level, as far as Bobby has been able to tell. 

As Buck and Tommy make their way excitedly between groups holding hands, Bobby can see how that gnawing need has dissipated in both of them. They both look relaxed and happy, even after everything they’ve both been through in the last 24 hours. They have each other now. 

Bobby is proud of them both. 

Buck and Tommy are two of the first to leave. Tommy started with high energy—still running on the adrenaline of firefighting and the anxiety of trying to make it to the wedding on time—but he fades fast. After an hour, he’s half asleep on his feet, leaning hard into Buck’s side while they talk to Eddie and Chris, his hand tight on Buck’s hip to keep himself upright. Buck whispers something into his ear and he nods. Buck drops a soft kiss to his cheek. It’s almost shy, the way he does it; almost disbelieving, like he’s still coming to terms with the idea that he can do this now. Bobby can see the joy that bubbles up in Buck when Tommy nuzzles into it. He gets more soot on Buck’s face. 

Buck leads Tommy over to a chair in the corner and parks him there while he does his rounds of goodbyes. Smart, Bobby thinks. Goodbyes at their group gatherings take upwards of half an hour. Tommy is asleep within seconds of sitting down. 

Bobby watches as Buck gets lots of gentle teasing, lots of hugs, and even a firm handshake from his father. Buck blinks hard like he wasn’t expecting such a clear show of approval, small as it may seem. The Buckley parents aren’t ones for affection, even when they’re trying to be supportive. Buck takes his father’s hand like the olive branch Bobby knows it is. 

Bobby has no such reservations. Buck starts walking towards him and Athena looking more nervous than he did when he walked up to his parents, and Bobby pulls him into a solid hug before he can even say anything. Bobby doesn’t let him go for a long moment. 

“I’m so proud of you, kid,” he says, trying not to cry again. 

Buck has come such a long way from the lost, desperate person he was seven years ago. He’s not casting about in the dark looking for something, anything to tether himself to. He’s grown and matured on his own, and finally he found a partner who wants to meet him where he is. A partner who shows up for him. 

“Thank you, Bobby.” Buck clings a little and sounds on the verge of tears himself. 

Athena makes Buck promise to bring Tommy to the next cookout. Buck blushes and ducks his head as he agrees. Bobby remembers how happy Tommy was to have family dinners, back when Bobby first instituted them. He gets the sense that Tommy didn’t have too many of those growing up. He can’t wait to see Tommy’s face at a family cookout. Bobby might even let him have a turn on the grill. 

Buck wakes Tommy up with a gentle hand on his cheek. Tommy stirs, pressing into Buck’s hand before he’s even fully awake. Bobby watches as Tommy remembers where he is, as he looks up at Buck and gives him an eye-crinkling smile; somewhat refreshed from his nap and happy to have Buck near him again. He nods at whatever Buck says to him and lets Buck pull him to his feet. 

They throw a last goodbye to the general group as they leave the room hand-in-hand. Buck has never looked more settled in his own skin; more like himself. Neither has Tommy. They both look like they’ve found what they’ve been looking for their whole lives. 

Bobby’s not sure he believes in soulmates, but they make a pretty compelling argument. 

“I give it six months,” Athena says. 

“You don’t think they’ll last?” Bobby asks, surprised. “Haven’t you seen them tonight?” 

“Six months until they’re engaged,” Athena clarifies with a teasing smile. 

“Ah,” Bobby smiles. “I don’t know. Buck might not rush this one.” 

“It’s not a rush if you know it’s right,” Athena says. She gives Bobby a significant look. 

“I can’t argue with that.” Bobby leans down to kiss Athena. Every kiss still thrills him like it’s the first time. “Let’s just hope their honeymoon goes a little better than ours.” 

Athena hums. “We’ll keep them far away from any boats.” 

They watch Buck wrap his arm around Tommy’s waist while they walk down the hospital hallway. Tommy leans into him and presses a kiss to his temple. 

It’s so early. This could just be the honeymoon phase. It could just be the two of them finding something that feels good after so many relationships that felt wrong, for one reason or another. It could be explained away a million different ways. But Bobby has a feeling in his gut that this is it for both of them.

Bobby may not have foreseen Tommy being Buck's first relationship with a man, but he does foresee Tommy being Buck's last relationship. If Maddie had thrown her bouquet, Buck would have caught it without even trying. They’re next, Bobby knows. And it’s going to work out. 

They’re good for each other.

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

jesus fuck the BBC4 Sherlock Holmes radio dramas are gay

I mean, I heard Mary accuse Watson of marrying her "under false pretence" while his heart belongs to Holmes

I heard Holmes and Watson reciting Tristan and Isolde to each other about "existing only in each other, wrapped in love"

but Watson being so scared to tell Holmes that someone wrote a play about him where he's straight! "you're not angry? it's hardly in character"

insane. hilarious. iconic.

[venice-1987]

As much as I would enjoy a kiss at their reunion, I do think the dragon prince crew would do something softer when (not if <-clown emoji) Sorvus is made canon. I'm picturing Corvus and Ezran and Callum arriving at the castle like in the promo image, them checking up with Opeli and she reveals everything is fine.

But Corvus asks about Soren. "Where is he?" he asks, his mind already wandering to the possibility that Soren...hadn't made it out. He will himself to remain strong for his king, but his body fills with dread. Thankfully, Opeli points him to the river.

There, Soren sits on the banks. Corvus sits beside him, noticing the same pained look in his eyes that he had seen on the ramparts the day Soren asked him to become a crownguard. Now, that same pain encompassed how he sat, how he stared mournfully into the waters.

Corvus asks is he is alright, and Soren can't even answer, holding back what emotion he can to maintain his cheerful attitude. He is failing miserably. Something more terrible than the Storm Spire must have happened. Something worse than Katolis burning down.

Corvus lays his hand over Soren's on the rock. Soren looks from it to Corvus, then shifts so that he can hold Corvus's hand back.

Like Janai and Amaya, its a confirmation.

and, of course, at the end of arc 2 or start of arc 3 (affirm affrim, manifest manifest, like to charge reblog to cast) then we get a kiss, teehee

[stardustedknuckles]

Okay but I need to know what the people who have only watched c3 think about Beau and Caleb because I've been rotating them in my head for three years too long to be objective anymore but like. Getting to see them through the eyes of a new party just reminded me that even though so much of our delight in C2 was focused around the constant indignity of the Nein, they are objectively a flickering metronome between "how the fuck are these people alive" and "this is the most hyper competent group of mercenaries I've ever seen" and I just. Do they know. Do they know that Beau is so fucking cool. Are there people who learned these two npcs have a whole campaign and want to learn more about them. I look at these two and see a montage of tiefling dicks and red eyes and promising to kill the other if something goes wrong. I see Caleb smearing mud and bat shit on Beau's face and Beau just resigned even as she makes the most aggrieved and annoyed sounds, Beau hauling Caleb's dissociated ass over her own skinny shoulder and walking him to safety. I look at them and see 500 hours and more of the empire siblings. The weeks and months they spent going from hating the parts of themselves they saw in each other to loving in the other what they still struggled with in themselves. I see chosen siblings, best friends. What do other people see?

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

[obizenyukii]

top 10 obizenyuki moments (+all of the honorable mentions that i almost picked bc these three are too much .) DISCLAIMER: these are my opinions and also i talk a lot. <3

under the cut bc this is so long oh my god

number 10

THIS PANEL OF THEM BEING SO AT PEACE RESTING BY EACH OTHER'S SIDE. OBI DEEP IN CONTEMPLATION AS HE WATCHES OVER SHIRAYUKI AND ZEN. THEM SLEEPING SO SOUNDLY BECAUSE THEY CAN LET DOWN THEIR GUARD AROUND HIM. I'M FINE.

every time i see this panel i just feel so happy. they belong together.

number 9

needless to say you'll miss the young miss, but you'll be lonely without me too, i bet. this entire conversation . obi saying this as a light joke but also because he knows how much they both mean to zen. obi searching, in a way, for a reassurance that he /is/ needed and wanted as well, since it's so obvious that shirayuki would be. zen's response. this is a moment that shirayuki isn't physically in so i bumped it down a few places, but it's still so meaningful for the ot3.

number 8

obi longing for zen and telling his bestie (zen's gf, who he's known for also occasionally longing for) about it casually under the stars (and saying he'll say that to zen under the stars) . i know what you are .

this moment is absolutely iconic and one of my personal favorites <3

number 7

ot3 date <3333 the entire next chapter is just a bunch of cute moments of them (honestly could have had like 300 pics on this post if there wasn't a limit). them spending time together, goofing off, having fun and enjoying each other's company. give me 10 more of these dates please.

number 6

whenever i reach out my hand, you would grasp it?

the most iconic trio of all time you will not change my mind. this moment being an unsaid promise between the three of them to always come back to each other . lay me to rest

number 5

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT DASHING OVER TO HER RIGHT NOW IS ALL THE ANSWER I NEED. THE TRUST. GOD. SHE CAN HANDLE HIM. I'M ON THE GROUND.

this moment is not as talked about (at least i haven't seen much of it discussed) but it's SO important to me. so much is being said without needing to spell it out. obi and zen keeping watch from afar, content in each other's company but also making sure shirayuki is in their sight. this is so romantic to do under the stars . they make me unwell. i need a vacation

number 4

obi and shirayuki always keeping zen in their hearts no matter what, despite him wishing not to weigh on them. this also touching on zen telling obi he wishes the title he gave him won't be a burden to him. the bond they have is highlighted so beautifully here. it's pure love <3 i'm sick to my stomach. /j

(& the bonus of obi and shirayuki seeing zen off together and looking at his retreating figure fondly. this is so romantic . i'm crazy .)

number 3

the iconic whenever i'm with you two it's always like this ;^;; <3 obi's love towards these two started to take root here. you don't understand because it's love dude . you don't understand because you were never attached to someone like this. you never had a home to come back to, never had the acceptance and understanding you have in them. dumbass. (said fondly)

it's okay, he learns it later <3

number 2

zen, furiously questioning obi and shirayuki on their health, making sure they're fine, and finally pulling them into a hug. his relief to have them safe and healthy in his arms. them realizing how worried he was . this is probably the most iconic obznyk moment and is a contender for n1 for sure, it was tough choosing between the n1&n2 moments ;; . god this moment. zen's "that's the most important thing" . don't talk to me i love them

number 1

the iconic line that is also my ship tag, if it's for you and mistress, i'm willing to go anywhere </3 this moment was what solidified the ship for me when i was only an anime only (shudders) slowly getting into the fandom. the anime was enough but this entire chapter had me setting my house on fire (joke). the brainworms never stopped. the entire chapter is so crazy ot3 but this moment is my favorite and overall the message/highlight of obi's resolve & his answer to zen's questions. it also showed more than any other moment obi's love & dedication to shirayuki and zen. shirayuki isn't even in this scene but it's still my favorite ot3 moment in the manga so far <3

and now, some honorable mentions. these following moments were all contenders for top 10 bc obznyk is so good. also these are not all of the obznyk moments in the manga ofc. there are many that i couldn't find in my screenshots and tried to find skimming through the manga but failed lol. these are just some classics/faves.

zen's iconic heart eyes

pretty early on in their relationship development, zen liking seeing them together ;;

zen being so happy around obi and shirayuki ;-;

zen introducing himself as obi and shirayuki's companion <3 it's just spelled out at this point lol

zen's heart eyes pt 100, if this post didn't have a limit i would've posted so many more of these

shirayuki and zen fretting over obi and then spying on him (while obi knows and is having the time of his life stringing them along) because he was seen with a pretty lady

it's like a part of me is always by their side <3 <3 <3 this would've been n10, but it's now the official number 11 moment

shirayuki and zen putting their full trust in obi to the point of fully letting their guard down, and obi realizing that for the first time, he's wholeheartedly wanted.

zen and shirayuki being the obi detection/protection squad <3

there's so much more. i love them so much <333333

[cerise-on-top]

more team up tickles for shadow company and kortac but it’s just Reader getting attacked?

I wrote a Shadow Company fic on accident. Sorry. I'll post something for KorTac tomorrow, if I remember to do it. But even then, it'll only be Horangi and König. König because I love him, and Horangi because I've written team up tickles with him and König before.

Shadow Company Team Up Tickles

It’s not that unlikely that some of them would take a little bit after Graves. Some of them would be confident and cocky. Some of them would become rather touchy. Some of them would become playful. It’s not that uncommon for the Shadows to goof around a little bit. They’ll playfight plenty, and tickle fights are not unheard of either. Sometimes the Shadows make plans regarding who’s going to be their next victim. Usually it’s Graves, but sometimes their goofy boss joins in on the fun. However, today you seemed a little more on edge than usual. Although nothing in particular may have happened, you were still a little pissy. A few Shadows have approached you already, trying to soothe your anger with hugs, cuddles and kisses. Angry as you were, you turned them down. So naturally, more drastic measures needed to be used against you.

You were in the training room, silently seething as you stared at the punching bag. Could you really let out your anger like that? Or would it only be a gateway into something worse? You weren’t sure. With earphones in your ears, you opted for finding the right song instead. Something aggressive. Some form of death metal would do. Distracted by the device in your hand, you ignored the majority of the world, as you had been all day now. With a sigh, you could feel the anger rising yet again as you were unable to find the correct song to set the ideal mood. Had it been up to you, you would have thrown your phone on the floor and smashed it into a thousand bits and pieces. The music you were currently listening to wasn’t nearly aggressive enough. You needed something to rip heads off to.

A tap on your shoulder and you turned around. Met with a cocky smile, you were not quite in the mood to return it, you found yourself face to face with Phil, a few Shadows entering the training room behind him. Although you would have loved nothing more than to ignore him, you took out your earbuds.

“Looking a bit stressed there, sugar.”

“Phil, I am this close to killing someone. What is it?” Holding back a sigh, you counted the Shadows behind him. There were three. 8-4, 7-2 and 2-3. The three that tried to cheer you up today. You were fairly certain they were up to no good, even if you weren’t quite sure what they were going to do. Regardless, you wanted nothing to do with it.

Phillip slung an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Just needed to cheer you up a little. Can’t have you sulking around all day, after all. Give us a smile and we’ll leave you alone.” There was quite a bit of strength to him, you likely couldn’t pull away from him if you tried.

“Nothing to smile about in my life. I’ll be fine, just leave me alone. I’m just gonna blow off some steam tonight and by tomorrow I’ll be back to my usual self, I’m sure of it.” On the one hand, you wanted to lean into him. On the other hand, you wished you could have just weaseled your way out of his grasp. In the end, you opted for staying completely still, letting Phil do as he pleased.

8-4 walked up to you, gently taking your hand in theirs and placing a kiss on top of it. “We’re gonna leave you alone once we’re certain you’re not gonna blow the place to smithereens. For now, just relax, we’ll take care of everything.”

7-2 was wearing her usual, cocky grin. Oh, she thought she was so much better than you. She had something planned. They all did. If you spent any more time with them, that’s when you were going to blow up the company and everyone in it. 2-3 seemed shy, as per usual. Had you not been so angry at nothing, you would have assured him that everything was going to be alright. Not that you understood how someone as anxious as him was such a capable soldier anyway. Sweet as he was, you couldn’t believe he was such a good leader.

Now it was 7-2’s turn to speak up as she made her way towards you. Standing still right in front of you, she put her hands on your hips. “Sweetie, you’ll be leaving this room with a big smile on your face, I’ll personally make sure of it.”

“And how are you going to do that, bastard? I woke up ready to murder someone.”

Slowly, she ran her fingers up your sides, tenderly holding onto your ribs. “I have my ways.” That twinkle of mischief in her eyes did not go unnoticed by you. And all of a sudden, it hit you.

“Don’t you fucking dare, asshole,” you snarled, baring your teeth. As much as you loved her, as much as you loved all of them, you couldn’t believe just how stupid all of them were.

“Oh, I think I will.” Her eyes showed nothing short of madness as she held onto your wrist. She was considerably taller than you, considerably stronger as well as a result. No matter how much you fought, no matter how much you struggled to break free, she slowly brought your arms above your head. “You’ve insulted me for the last time today. You’re gonna apologize to us all, won’t you?” Even as you tried to kick her, she did not budge.

Phil released you. “2-3, your turn. You’ll be starting off nice and slow. Maybe you can get our beloved little Shadow down onto the ground. You have two minutes. Make them count, soldier.”

“Fuck you! All four of you! I’m going to get my revenge on all of you once I get out of her fucking grasp. You dumb brute, I’m going to make sure to give you nightmares!”

You could merely watch as 2-3 placed himself behind you. He put his hands under your shirt, waiting another few seconds. “I’m sorry, but you kind of deserve this today.” And with that, he skittered his fingers over your sides. You jerked away from his touch, closer to 7-2. 2-3 was gentle, you wanted to punch him for it. Although you squeezed your eyes shut, you did not giggle. No, you were much stronger than that. What kind of soldier would break after the first few gentle touches? As he drew circles on your tummy, it quivered a little bit. No matter how close you pressed yourself to 7-2, he always found a way to get you there. When he ran his fingers across your back, you hid your face in 7-2’s shoulder.

“Damn, if you wanted a hug so bad, you could have just said so.”

“Shut- Shut up! I’m concentrating here!” That cunt honestly had the gall to hold both of your wrists in one hand, snaking her arm around your waist and squeezing your side rapidly. Unfortunately, that was enough for you to push her away, falling right into 2-3’s arms. As you stepped back, he placed a leg behind yours, making you trip. Although he may have caught you, he still lowered you onto the ground, making you even more vulnerable. Naturally, 7-2 took this as an invitation to straddle you. However, other than that, she did nothing. None of them did.

“Good job. 8-4, would you like to have a go solo? We’re all going to to wreck our little grump together afterwards.”

“Don’t you fucking dare humiliate me like that,” you growled, spewing poison at those snakes. They had the antidote to it, however, as they didn’t even flinch.”

“I’m gonna hold our little sugar cookie down, you do as you please, alright?” No matter how much you thrashed, no matter how much you tried to buck her off, 7-2 stayed right on top of you.

8-4, that bitch damned to an eternity in hell, kneeled down next to your feet, taking off your shoes. “You know, all of that could have been prevented easily. Just be nicer towards us next time and we’re gonna be nice to you too! Even though I think we’re being merciful towards you right now, we’re just making you smile, love!” And with that, they started scribbling away at full speed, never even once considering your feelings.

You tried to kick, you tried to thrash, but it was no use. Biting your lip so hard, you drew blood, you started to smile.

“Aw, darl, you’re looking mighty adorable with a smile on your face. It suits you!” You didn’t even notice as Phil knelt down beside you. “Just let the damn break, we’’ll all be happier if you do.” And with that, he dug his fingers into your armpits. You almost screamed when he did that. Clamping down your arms, curling your toes, it was soon too much for you and you actually started laughing. Grabbing Phil’s hands, you almost always missed. And when you did grab one? Bastard held your hand for a few seconds, giving it a few reassuring squeezes before going back to tickling you. “Look at you, you’re so cute. We should get you good like this more often.” He cooed. As much as you despised that fact, he sounded as though he was being honest. But then again, he wouldn’t be torturing you like this if he didn’t enjoy it.

Another two pairs of hands joined in, one tickling your ribs and your stomach, alternating between those two spots, and the other going for your other foot. One pair of hands was gentle, drawing small circles on your soles, gently caressing it, the other pair was rough, drilling into your ribs, vibrating there and being rather unrelenting.

“Will you apologize now?”

“You should laugh more often. We should do this more often!”

“I’m not being too rough here, am I?”

“No, if anything, you should be rougher. Hold the toes back like this and scratch like that.”

You screeched, tears welling up in your eyes. The sensation was overwhelming.

“PLEASE STOP!! I’M SORRY!! IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!”

And with that, all eight hands ceased their onslaught at once. Panting, you just lied there, eyes closed.

“You better not have pissed yourself.”

As much as you would have loved to retort with a “shut up”, you stayed quiet. If you had been rude, you might have had to go through this again.

“You cheered up now?”

“Yes, I’m… I’m sorry.”

You were being sat up and held against someone’s chest. Judging by their scent, it was likely Phil. Wrapping your arms around him, you hid your face in his shoulder. Although he may have been an idiot at times, your commander still stood for safety. He could always make the others go away, should he feel more merciful now. Another hand rubbed your back.

“We didn’t go overboard, did we?” You didn’t respond.

“Oi, fuckface, you do realize that just about the entire base would help you get back at us, right? You better keep that revenge close to your heart, I wanna get a good fight out of you next time.” Cunt. And yet you loved her for being so stupid. And yet you loved all of them, despite being the greatest morons on the planet. They were your morons, and you were theirs.

“Do you want me to bring you a snack? Maybe some water? Wouldn’t want you to be too exhausted, after all.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. But thank you.” Snuggling more closely into Phil, you slowly calmed down.

“Let’s get you to bed, shall we? Do you want me to carry you?” His voice was teasing, but you knew Phil would have carried you to bed if you said yes. It was tempting. Being in the arms of your strong commander sounded nice. But then again, a small snuggle pile with all four of them sounded ideal right about now as well.

You ended up heading to bed either way, surrounded by all four of them. Although they may not have joined you with sleeping immediately, making sure you were alright for the majority of the evening, they did eventually. You loved your boyfriends, your girlfriends and your partners. Although they were bastards, each and every single one of them, you could always count on them. On the battlefield as well as on base.

[kaelidascope]

Midnight Menagerie Chapter 19 is LIVE

**SHAKES UH OH DOGGY BAG OF TREATS**

This aint an April Fool's joke folks. This chapter is DARK and I wish I was kidding but I'm not LOL

The second biggest chapter I have ever written for MM is LIVE!

Please please please mind the content warning on this one guys. From here on out, we're getting into the darkest segments of the story. Every negative tag will be relevant. For the sake of spoilers, I'll only label the extremely graphic scenes. ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN! CHOO CHOO

[fraudefiscal]

girl don't try to understand the horrors beyond your comprehension

[ruvviks]

The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me

[accirax]

Nene’s Role in Wonderlands x Showtime

The release of The Miniature Garden’s Coral seems to have confirmed some things I’ve recently speculated might transpire in future Wonderlands x Showtime events-- namely regarding Nene and how she may actually be the most important member of the troupe-- so, let’s talk about them! I’ll be using zui’s lyrics video for my translations, so hopefully they’re accurate.

With the past couple of WxS events in mind, it’s easy to see that this 3DMV is also about endings. While the MV begins in a sunny blue afternoon light...

...the characters and set eventually bask in a beautiful sunset orange, signaling the end of the day. The lyrics even mention being “between the end of the blue sky and the beginning of the night sky,” further emphasizing that we’re in the middle of the story. When the sky is blue, the troupe expresses uncertainty: Rui mentions that he feels lost, and Tsukasa, scared. But eventually, Nene admits that, in this beginning period, she was “spoiled by the sound of the waves,” AKA that the commotion surrounding WxS’s formation led to a troupe that became a source of comfort for all of them.

Once the sun sets, there are a lot of “even ifs.” Nene sings about how she’ll continue to sing this song, even if things are starting to look unsteady and she’s not sure if she should proceed. However, by the end of the song, she resolves to "still sing this song” while keeping up a smile.

I think that the fact that Nene says she will sing this song is incredibly important, because, as established, this song is about endings. Meanwhile, back in Mr. Showtime, Tsukasa firmly didn’t want WxS to end, and was holding out until closing time. Rui’s What Sort of Ending Are You Wishing For? and Emu’s Starry Sky Orchestra seemingly both acknowledge an ending as well, but it’s not at all easy. Rui seems to fall into a resigned depression at the thought, keeping a whimsical facade up when the very thought of separating kills him inside. The thought haunts him, MV riddled with hourglasses that he can’t get out of his head. Emu can only tolerate taking the first step towards a breakup with tooth-rottingly sugarcoated promises of eternal togetherness and literally holding hands as they go (I love her btw this is not Emu slander). She never even says the word “end,” only “tomorrow.”

Rui, Emu, and Tsukasa are basically Denialx3. Rui tries to deny his emotions regarding disbanding, Emu tries to deny that the ending is coming at all, and Tsukasa tries to deny that there’s nothing he can do to keep them from inevitably drifting apart. And that’s where Nene comes in again.

Rui’s dream is to perform technically complex shows that will resonate with an audience. He can do that from Phoenix Wonderland. Emu’s dream is to keep the Wonder Stage up and operating forever. She has to do that from Phoenix Wonderland. Tsukasa’s dream is to become the number one world star and make everyone smile. While this would likely take him away from the park, in another story, I could see it being possible that, in the end, Tsukasa decides that making the people in his local community happy is more important than trying to change the entire world. Thus, he could also follow his dream from Phoenix Wonderland, even if it’s not ideal.

But then there’s Nene. Her dream is, and always has been, to perform in Broadway musicals. Broadway is a live performance in New York City. There is no possible way for Nene to get what she wants while staying in Phoenix Wonderland. And that is possibly why Wonderlands x Showtime’s ending is the easiest for her to process.

Now, I’m not trying to say that Nene doesn’t love her friends. She adores them. Her three previous commissions have proven that. It’s the amount of love she has for them that will propel her to make what is actually the best choice for their dreams. Nene is the little mermaid, both when swimming freely the oceans with a beautiful, unstoppable song, and when enduring pain herself to stand with and for the ones she loves. Her friends, in this situation... are coral.

Remember that coral, “blurred” and uncertain in the water and “stained orange by the setting sun”? The miniature garden is Phoenix Wonderland; the coral is Emu, Rui, and Tsukasa; and that coral is stained orange by its desperation to keep rereading the final chapter instead of closing the book for now and putting it away to revisit in the future. Coral, while a beautiful living organism, is also completely static.

Static like stone statues which, at least by my interpretation, is what the rest of WxS turns into at the end of the 3DMV. The three of them (and Kaito) are paralyzed with the fear of the suffering an ending would bring. Only Nene is alive and human to be the one to show the group the benefits it can bring as well.

There are a lot of aspects of this song and Nene’s entire personality that lead me to believe that she will be the one to bring about change in WxS. First, she most often “has the braincell,” so to speak. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she performs this song with Kaito, the most mature of the WxS vocaloids, either. During April Fool’s 2023, she was put into the Solid Heart class. One might think that troupe leader Tsukasa should be the Solid Heart, and that shy Nene should be the Cautious Heart, but they (accurately) sorted it the other way.

Nene is a very strong-willed person. In other stories, it might be seen as a negative that Nene is always the most hesitant one to get into shenanigans, or that she would even dare to be the one to suggest a WxS split in the first place. What an ungrateful wet blanket Nene is, willing to throw away her friends for the sake of her own selfish dream. But in this story, staying at Phoenix Wonderland isn’t really what will make Rui or Tsukasa happy, and even Emu may have to graduate to focusing on the entire company instead of just one stage someday.

Nene’s friends brought her out of the darkness and into the light of day, and she is so grateful for that. She knows how amazing they are, which is how she knows that they can make more friends and continue to do even more amazing things in the future if they can bear to leave their high school part-time jobs behind and enter the real world, just like her.

So, Nene’s role is to be Wonderlands x Showtime’s guiding light. She’ll tell Rui what sort of ending she’s wishing for, and then console him when he can’t repress his tears. She’ll be the one to hold Emu’s hand while they take that next step into tomorrow. Her three best friends helped her to grow from the loner who operated a robot from the theme park bushes, and she’ll help them step out of that theme park and be who they truly want to be.

There is one other thing I wanted to mention, though...

Tsukasa.

As I mentioned previously, while all three of Rui, Emu, and Tsukasa are in denial, Tsukasa is the most actively in opposition to an ending. He’s also the troupe leader, and the sole creator of the Wonderland Sekai. If someone is going to actively try to stop Nene from suggesting separation, it’s definitely going to at least start with him. But as Nene has already stated in The Miniature Garden’s Coral, despite any opposition that makes her question whether or not she should proceed, she already plans to continue singing her beliefs about a bittersweet yet timely goodbye.

And, their conflict is something that’s basically been foreshadowed from the beginning too, right? Nene has always roasted Tsukasa, giving a counterpoint to his blindingly bright worldview. In upcoming chapters, however, I believe that may start to transform from simple fun banter into a genuine conflict with clear sides drawn...

And THAT’S why ColoPale gave them Childish War.

Nenekasa nation get ready, ‘cause I don’t think this is the last Nene and Tsukasa fight we’re going to see.

[foggieststars]

how do u think a younger!charles and older!max dynamic would be different than same age!lestappen? ever since u mentioned ur new wip… i’ve been going a little insane

yeah. me too anon...

ok i'm putting a cut in here because i rambled for SO long abt like. just lestappen to be honest

honestly i think my fic is probably not the right place to like. properly explore this because it's a time slip au so like. charles knows what His max is like and they've still grown up together etc but his big dilemma is trying to marry that together in his head with older max. because charles knows like. pre-world champion borderline mad max era max and then when he's confronted with a more mature older max it's difficult for him to reconcile......like i've been doing research for the winner's room au and in 2019 seb and lewis were still publicly saying that they race max differently to others because he's fucking crazy so LMFAO

but also charles in 2018 was still very much. a bit of a hater.....like i know for the past couple of years they've been all smiles and like oh we have a good relationship! in the past it was tense :))) but we're all good now! but in 2018 charles was very much like. i can't say we have a good relationship but I'm Not Here To Make Friends .... and max was literally silent abt it....so from the perspective of an age gap it's very much charles trying to be like. how the fuck is my older self in a relationship with MAX VERSTAPPEN and also why's he so soft and goofy and genuine and charming oh......dear.....what if he fucked me so i can get back to my original timestream.......

but honestly for a proper age difference au i struggle to say. bcs so much of lestappen to me is their history so divorced from that i think their dynamic would be very different and like. i hesitate to say not as compelling.....like. i'm so sorry to quote jos verstappen but this quote about them during their karting days lives in my mind rent free

A PROPHECY................ like to me this is why age gap lestappen is honestly for me. purely about getting to write older max fucking sauber charles. because sauber charles was still like. not that charles is exactly a rippling muscle monster now but like. in 2018 he was a tad more twinky....and max is like. Bigger now. so for me it's about aesthetics literally just because of the fact that like. to me it's always about the History.

ALSO i can't remember who said it i think it was one of my mutuals so full credit to whichever big brained beauty said this. but they pointed out that like. when max started driving lewis and seb and kimi etc always described his driving as over the line but charles has ALWAYS described driving against max as 'on the limit' and like. they know each other well from their karting days and they know how to race each other.............god. much to think about

however i think a true age gap au would have max being irritated by charles treating him exactly how max used to treat older drivers and just being fucking crazy. because max might have the mad max rep but like. charles is not exactly the epitome of safe sane and consensual racing himself.....anybody remember monza 2023

having said all that. please go and read frechheit by @additiva . i find lestappen age gap SO unbelievably compelling in this fic like. it is absolutely delicious and i think will satisfy your need for age gap lestappen and like. still somehow draws in all the regular lestappen insanity....being soulmates and knowing exactly how to race each other even sort of divorced from their history and it is just Brilliant !!

sorry for not answering your question at all. i'm so glad ur excited for the fic though ily <3

[thornaelle]

A portrait of my Pathfinder character Sabella's current mental state. She's having A Time.

▸ Everything she thought she knew about her life was a lie. ▸ Her great-grandfather is not just dealing with a fiends, he is one. He's a Rakshasa, has probably been several of her ancestors through reincarnation or impersonation, and he wants her to come home and be a good little pawn, sorry, grand-daughter. He particularly wants her back now he knows she can change her form and hide that she's a tiefling. ▸ But she wasn't actually born visibly a tiefling! Her older brother Cesare was though, and that was deemed unacceptable because they needed a respectable face for the family heir and not one that openly advertised that they had been dealing with fiends. Their second born, however, could be safely kept out of sight until they could find a way to permanently hide her fiendish blood too. So their heritages were swapped via horrible transmutation magic involving a painting stretched over a frame of magically re-shaped ribs, which has been hanging in her bedroom most of her life :) ▸ Totally unrelatedly hahaha; She's missing a rib! Cesare is probably missing one too :) It's fine, it probably contributes to her ridiculous acrobatics modifier she's real bendy :) :) It's fine :) Or could that be the ancestry involving a creature know for having wierd joints? Certainly no-one's looking at the way she moves with new eyes at all hahahahaaa :) ▸ Her parents may have been trying to protect her all her life which meant pushing her away and making her want to leave. Real shitty way to discover your parents might not actually hate you, might in fact love and want you very much. ▸ AND her dad has "business dealings" with the Azarketi ambassador, of the kind that mean they light up when they're in the same room and her mother is really pissed off. Is your family life not complicated enough already, dad??? ▸ Everything is Fine. ▸ :) :) :|

She's quite looking forward to getting to go and hit things that are completely unrelated to her fucked up family. (I am having a great time. Sabella may be in the middle of a nervous breakdown.)