#i wrote it for myself knowing it wouldnt get many if any readers
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AO3 Wrapped 2024
Another year drawing to a close!!! An awesome year for fan work!
Tagged by @oddlittlestories, started by @thatwholethingwiththeduck
Here's the template for anyone who would like to participate!
@someguywriting @sourb0i @zambehnation @ahousethatjackbuilt @gaylilsherlock and anyone else who would like to complete it!
#ao3#writing#personal#no my favorite fic i wrote didnt perform very well wrt popularity#i didnt expect it to!#it is a first person epistolary work. nobody in fan circles wants to read work like that#people dont go into fandom looking for fics like that#i wrote it for myself knowing it wouldnt get many if any readers#and i am SO happy with it#i genuinely wrote it just for me#i have never written in first person before and i am so satisfied w how it turned out#it means so much to me#im so glad i wrote it and i love reading it back#i might podfic it#i like it that much lol
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Oh my god this chapter was amazing!! I cannot express how much I loved it! I myself loveeee drama so it was toooo goood ^.^ And the fact that the READER outed herself?! I totally expected it to be geto especially cause he’s just messy in general(hes so me). But I don’t really blame her that much and in my opinion, it’s good that she reacted like that! Atleast she told Choso the truth about that part so he wouldnt have to find out later and be more upset.
We all know Choso hates liars as well so it’s good that she told him that(there’s still so many secrets she needs to tell him but it’s a start!) And I LOVE how Geto and Yuki are just sitting there watching them like if it was a movie. Their little comments not making things any better is so hilarious too😹.
I also didn’t really like the way Choso was speaking to her before he found out about Sukuna so that’s another reason why I’m glad she stood up to him(even if she did blurt out that she fucked his older abusive brother😭).
Talking about abusive older brother..SUKUNA? Oh my god I did not expect him to be like that😞 Especially since he’s been so different towards us. When Choso told the reader what sukuna did, my jaw dropped. I had to put down the phone multiple times throughout the chapter too because of the awkward heavy tension🌚
Choso really did have a reason to walk out and get upset if what he said about Sukuna is true butt, the reader told him multiple times that she didn’t know what kind of person Sukuna was before they fucked so I feel like Choso, being the very understanding person he is, he’s going to listen to her and understand where she’s coming from next chapter. Andd if he doesn’t, i will sob and hunt him down😣(also geto basically planning all of this? jsjsjsk i love him). BUT CHOSO CANT BE MAD PLS..my heart can’t handle any more angst.😥
Anyways that cliffhanger really did get to me and I stayed up thinking about it. I need Choso to forgive herrr. Can’t wait for the next chapter Kami! As always I love every chapter you write, you really are so talented>.<
-🥹
YAP SESSION RAHH;
1. Yup, it was in her best interest to but her info out there herself rather than tht come out any other way ^.^
2. IKR? We love Suguru & Yuki chillin on the side just watching everything go down😹
3. Choso was feeling more on edge tht entire chapter in comparisons to the other times we see him so his snappy responses are because of tht, we might dive deeper into this in the next chapter tho ^.^
4. LMAOO IKR? It was meant to have y’all GAGGED😝 But hey, m-maybe Sukuna is a changed man🥹☝️
5. Oh… you can’t handle any more angst you say?😏 WELL THTS TOO DAMN BAD, THE NEXT CHAPTERS ABT TO BE 10x WORSE MUHAHAHAHA
6. ILYSM FOR READING & THE ANGST YOU WROTE IS STILL PLAGUING MY THOUGHTS!!
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Fic author interview tagged by @vampirenaomi
1 How many works do you have on AO3?
42
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
728,089
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Fic that annoys me so much I disabled comments (go find it yourself lmao), Marked for Death, Tiger by the Tail, What's coming through is Alive, The Sea is Getting Rough Again
my one piece fics all have way more kudos than my recent stuff basically
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i do sometimes, im usually tired from writing and editing so sometimes ill just say thanks lol
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i wrote a fic anonymously which is horrendously dark and doesnt have a happy ending but I think most other fics i write at least have a bittersweet or happy ending hdfgb
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
uhhhhhh i dunno man I like the ending of the fic i wrote where goemon threatens to cut one of jigen's exes' dicks off and then they go hang out by the pool. that was fun :)
7. Do you write crossovers?
not really, I've had a few ideas for them but they're hard to write and wouldnt have worked out
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not... really? i got a really weird backhanded compliment where someone talked at length about a ship i dont like (the fic wasnt about that couple) then said the first chapter was alright apart from being painfully slow (thanks) and then accused me of virtue signalling because of the difficult topics i handled in the fic.
It was really, really strange like I genuinely think they were trying to pay me a compliment but they were incredibly shit at it lol
And then in another fic I turned off comments because a minor started bitching at me about the porn I wrote not being sexy enough and when I told them to go away they harassed me for a little while. That was fun.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeas. I prefer it when smut is incorporated into the story because I kind of need the emotional stakes to be high enough otherwise I kind of lose interest. Smut without feelings is just kinda boring to me. Of course I have some exceptions but those are rare nowadays.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, though it's on wattpad apparently so I have no idea if the person doing it credited me because I dont use that site lol.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yeah and I dont recommend it. we only wrote like 2 chapters of it but i no longer speak to the co-author and the whole thing ended up feeling a bit disjointed and weird.
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Uhh I have a couple, zoro/luffy, ace/sanji, jigen/lupin and jigen/goemon
zolu probably wins here because i have not so far written a 200k fic about anyone else lol
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
*gestures weakly at literally everything in my google docs*
I forgot how to write sorry
15. What are your writing strengths?
*tv static noise*
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
i cant speak english
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I don't know whether its bad or just handled badly by a lot of writers but I don't like it. Speaking as someone whos been learning japanese for the past 2+ years I hate it when I come across a word and have to either look it up myself or scroll to the bottom of the fic for any footnotes there are to explain it. Gonna use myself as an example for how I go about this kind of thing:
Fujiko tries to smile at his robotic, overly formal speech patterns, when really it's a little off-putting. She hasn't heard anyone use the word sessha, 'my humble self', for themselves outside of a period drama.
each to their own but i prefer putting in a small aside like this rather than shoving in foreign words and expecting for the reader to go and break the flow of the writing by looking it up for themselves.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
id say pokemon mystery dungeon but the first fic i wrote i instantly deleted after getting one negative comment, i think one piece is more where i cut my teeth
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
i dont really know? ive gotten into a couple of new things recently but they havent triggered my "oh i gotta write something" reaction
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
i dunno man i dont like my work very much right now heres an image if u read all of this
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unwanted feelings
james potter x reader
description - You'd had a crush on James Potter for years and when he kisses Lily Evans in front of you, you are heart broken. Later you find that he didn't actually feel as you expected and he explains himself.
warnings - some angst, unsure reader, fem pronouns, self doubt, negative self talk, not eating for a day cause reader is avoiding someone
word count - 2800
A/N - so this one isn't my best work by far but i wrote it so looks like its getting posted. i don't know why all of my reader inserts lately are so fem and sort of bubbly, i guess it's sort of what i'm aiming for for myself right now but i'm sorry if it maybe isn't coming off as relatable.
MASTERLIST
Your throat tightened in anxiety as you watched James zoom around the pitch. He was reckless when he was playing quidditch and it was one of the things that made him great at the game and an excellent captain. It was also the thing that nearly gave you a heart attack every time you watched him play. You went to every one of his games and you always wore something of his with his colors when you were in the stands. You were stood up on your seat and a slightly bored looking Remus sat to your right, reading from a book you didn't recognize. You'd thought that Sirius playing would be enough to keep him interested but sports was just not something he enjoyed watching. You were usually that way as well but whenever James was playing, suddenly you were the most intent spectator in the stands.
You were more worried than you should have been. More worried than what was appropriate for a friend to be. That's what you were, friends. That had been reinforced many times by the shaggy haired boy and you tried desperately to get it through your head before you embarrassed yourself one of these days. Sometimes though, you just couldn't help it.
Really you might have thought he reciprocated if you didn't know any better. You often got comments on what an attractive couple you guys were but each time it was quickly corrected by James. Normally along the lines of 'Oh god no, we are just friends. Purely platonic' , sometimes followed by a shudder or a gag even. It upset you every time to no end but you played along. You rarely, if ever, contributed to the shooting down of any feelings but that was never noticed by the man you had feelings for.
You'd had a crush on him since you were probably in your second year and now you were coming to the middle of your seventh. There were a million times that you almost said something but every time there was a reminder that you were not the one he had eyes for. It usually took the shape of disgust at the thought of dating you or commentary as he pined over the Evans girl who you felt you could never compete with. How could you when she was just perfect. You saw her to the left of you as she stood in the stands as well and your hands shook with insecurity before looking back toward the game. Your heart raced nearly as quickly as James did around the pitch and you prayed that the snitch would be caught soon so that you could get rid of the stress surrounding you. You felt a hand on your right shoulder and you looked over to find Remus had stood and was looking at you caringly.
"Are you alright, Y/N?" He asked softly and you tried your very best to soften your gaze and calm your stance so you appeared less concerned with someone that you shouldn't have that much interest in in the first place.
"Of course I am. When am I not?" You smiled before looking out at the pitch.
"When youre watching the guy you're in love with play a dangerous game that you don't like." He stated simply in response to the question you meant to be rhetorical and your eyes widened.
"I don't know what youre talking about." You nearly whispered and Remus smiled.
"I'm not gonna tell anyone Y/N but its not exactly subtle. It probably doesn't help that I know the look on your face because it's how I feel too watching Sirius play." He was still smirking but your anxiety was far from eased.
"Oh god, does he know?" You asked scaredly, terrified that the answer would be yes and you would have to stop spending time with him.
"Shockingly, no." You sighed out in relief but Remus continued. "You should tell him though or else he might end up moving on."
"What do you mean? There's nothing for him to move on from. Everyone knows he's in love with Evans and he has made it pretty clear that he is opposed to being anything more than a friendly relationship with me." You choked out, struggling with the words leaving your lips but knowing them to be true.
"I mean he has a minor crush on Evans but it's nothing compared to the annoyingly huge crush he has on you. He's probably just overcompensating for the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want you to reject him."
"Why are you telling me this?" You asked sincerely. You were friends with Remus as you were with the rest of the marauders but it was nothing compared to the friendship they held within their group. You knew Remus was more loyal to James than to you so you couldn't understand why, if it was true, Remus would be telling you at all.
"Because he is trying desperately to move on seeing as he is under the impression that you aren't into him and I'd hate to see him throw something away that could be really good for him." Remus smiled gently and you looked at him gratefully.
"I really appreciate you telling me and all but I just don't think I can believe you. I can't even count how many times he has made a big show of not liking me. I love him too much to ruin what we have and I know that if I confessed and it went bad that I would lose him all together. I would rather have him in my life in a way that hurts than not have him in it at all." You stated sadly and Remus sighed but nodded in understanding.
"I get it but just know that I'm being honest and pretty soon he is going to give up on it. I just want to see you both happy but if its too big of a leap, I understand. That's exactly the excuse he tells the rest of us too."
Suddenly cheers erupted from the stands, cutting your conversation with Remus off as everyone ran to rush the pitch. The snitch had been caught and gryffindor won. You were excited for James but you were also a little terrified to walk onto the pitch to see him with the now conflicted thoughts running through your head. Your thoughts were stopped by the image in front of you which was causing the whole crowd to cheer. James had pulled Lily Evans into a kiss in his excitement and your heart stopped. You felt nausea rise in your throat and Remus caught your eye with a sympathetic look. You didn't look at him for longer than a second and you ran off the pitch with tears streaming down your face. You found your way up to your dorm, pushing yourself to get there quickly before the common room filled with students celebrating their victory. James was always one to love attention so he would be getting crazy after the game which he did just about every time they won.
When you made it to your bed, you hurried under the covers, throwing the shirt you were wearing which belonged to James onto the floor. You felt your heart clench at the despair you felt. You wanted to be upset at Remus for getting your hopes up but you knew he was sincere in his want to help. Still you felt that you would probably not be able to face James in the weeks to come. Maybe, given a little time, you could be around him and not be upset at the world for taking away your chance with him. As you laid in your bed, you stared at the ceiling. You felt tears streaming down your face and you grew angry at yourself. He didn't owe you anything, he wasn't into you. That wasn't his fault and it was so unfair of you to expect anything more from him when your feelings were not his responsibility.
You weren't sure how long you laid there but you could hear the party start and end in the common room. It must have been late. Sleep wouldnt come though, you could just feel your heart continue to break and you were stuck in a loop of self pity. You made the decision that the following days would be spent away from James if you could at all help it. That was probably what he wanted anyway and it was the only way that you would get over the pain you were feeling. At some point your roomates entered your dorm and sleep overtook you for a few restless hours.
When you woke up, the sun was barely on the rise. You hurried up and got dressed and ready. You were planning on getting to breakfast early to avoid running into any of the marauders. You found your plans were not going how you wanted when you entered the great hall to find a head of red hair next to a mop of black. Your throat tightened and you quickly moved to turn and head out of the great hall. You heard a familiar voice call your name but you rushed out before you could give it too much thought. You knew that if you let him try to convince you, you would end up having a very upsetting breakfast with your best friend and his new lover. You would rather avoid breakfast.
Throughout the day, avoiding James was proving to be harder than you had thought it would be. You had many of your classes with him and you even sat next to him in a few. He was insistently trying to get you to open up about why you were suddenly so closed off to him but you remained shut off, reassuring him that nothing was wrong and you were just a little tired from the game the day before. You avoided lunch for the same reason as you had avoided breakfast and you felt yourself starting to get a bit lightheaded. Your afternoon was spent avoiding James but soon he was preoccupied with Lily anyway.
You were hid in a corner of the library when a cough alerted you of someone's presence. You looked up to find the very eyes you hadn't wanted to see.
You pushed it down with a gulp and smiled a bit at him, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay but they were growing harder to hold back after keeping everything pent up all day. It probably didn't help that you were hungry and therefor a bit more emotional. You could feel the tears sitting in your eyes, waiting for something to go wrong so they had an excuse to escape you.
"I don't know what I did wrong." He mumbled while looking at the floor in front of you and you took a deep breath.
"There's nothing wrong James, I promise. It's just been a long day." You smiled and your heart picked up speed.
"Since when did we lie to each other?" He questioned and your heart stopped. You were left unsure how to respond.
"Since the truth would cause more damage than good." You spoke honestly. At this he looked up at you and your eyes met. A tear left you and James immediately moved to comfort you but you tried to move away, standing quickly to evade him. You regretted it as spots filled your vision, the lack of food catching up to you. You know that you turned a bit green for a moment because James looked slightly scared.
"Y/N I dont know whats wrong but you look like you should be getting to the hospital wing. You don't look well."
Before you could answer you felt your vision blacken and your legs give out before your consciousness left you completely.
When you woke up, you knew you were in the hospital wing. It smelled sterile and the bed was stiff underneath you. When you started to wake madam pomfrey came to check on you.
"You can't go around with an empty stomach like that again, do you hear me?" She scolded, though her eyes were soft. You nodded solemnly. "I was alerted that you hadn't been to the great hall to eat all day, you have to know that isn't good for you. I'm gonna have a prefect watch out for you the next couple days to make sure you're eating at meal times. Understood?" She asked again and once more you nodded before leaning back and sighing. You looked at your surroundings and were surprised to see the black haired boy next to your bed fast asleep. Your heart took off again and you felt trapped by your environment. As anxiety swirled around in your chest, James had woken up a bit.
"You're awake." James sighed, laced with relief. You still wouldn't make eye contact with him. You felt the bed dip as he sat on it and you looked up to watch him put his head in his hands as he leaned over. You felt guilt fill your chest more than it already had from hating that you felt any claim over the man in front of you. You knew you were in the wrong and the last thing you wanted was to cause him any pain. "Remus talked to me." He almost whispered.
At that moment, you wished you could have apparated to anywhere else in the world. You looked back down at your lap and tears were once again brought to your eyes. You felt betrayal that Remus would reveal your feelings to James.
"I'm sorry." You apologized and you fiddled with your fingers.
"Why are you the one apologizing, I'm the one whos behaved poorly." He assures and you shake your head.
"That's not fair to yourself. You're allowed to want to be with whomever you want and my feelings should have no effect on that. You've made it clear for years that you weren't interested in me and it is my fault that I couldn't take a hint. I'm so sorry." You gushed out and tears started to fall from your eyes. You felt James get up from your bed and you prepared him to leave but instead you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss came to your head.
"Y/N I have had feelings for you for years. I was just always too scared for myself to even consider that you might feel the same." He whispered out but you felt only a different kind of pain. Even though he had now admitted his feelings, he was still dating Lily. Not you. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts he spoke quietly. "I broke it off with Evans." You pulled away immediately.
"What? Why would you do that?" You asked quickly and before he had a chance to answer you feared the worst. "Oh god is it because of me? James please dont let my feelings have any bearing on who you want to date, I can't stand the thought of being the reason you broke up. Even if we do have feelings for each other, you deserve a chance with Lily if that's what you want."
"It was mutual, actually. She understood that I had feelings for you and she said she had a crush on someone else. It just seemed like I had kissed her a bit rashly on the quidditch pitch and we agreed that we shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It was only a day anyway." He reassured as he explained himself and you calmed a bit.
"So what does this mean." You got out, almost inaudibly.
"It means that, if you'll have me, I'd like to take you out on a date." He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world and you almost couldn't believe your ears. Before you were even thinking you were nodding quickly, causing spots to once again fill your vision and James grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you before you both laughed. He pulled you by your shoulders toward him and he caught your lips in a kiss that somehow expressed all of the years of repressed feelings. When he pulled away he smiled at you and sat back on your bed. He spent the rest of the day with you in the hospital wing talking about all of the places he was going to take you in the coming weeks.
#harry potter imagine#harry potter x reader#hp imagine#hp x reader#the marauders#marauders imagine#marauders x reader#marauders era#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter fluff#harry potter fluff#james potter angst#hp angst#hp fluff
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berry | k.s.w
pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader
genre: college au, friends to lovers
summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.
word count: 1.9k
note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo
-
you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.
he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.
so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.
until he couldnt take it anymore.
you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.
"found ya!"
sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.
sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.
"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"
you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.
"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"
sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.
"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"
sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.
"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.
"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.
"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"
-
you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.
you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.
sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.
"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.
"hey look at me,"
you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.
"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"
silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.
its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.
that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.
on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.
sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.
at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.
you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.
"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"
he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.
"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"
you smiled, this time sincerely at him.
"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"
he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"
you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.
"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"
"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"
you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.
"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"
you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.
"does he know about your feelings?"
you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.
"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"
you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"
its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.
"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"
you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.
"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"
"you'll find out soon,"
-
sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.
"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"
he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.
"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"
sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.
"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"
sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.
"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"
you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.
"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"
you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.
"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"
sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.
"i like you,"
you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.
"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"
"sunwoo-"
"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"
at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.
"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.
you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.
"sunwoo its you,"
"what?"
"i love you too,"
you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.
"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.
you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.
"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"
"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.
"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.
"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"
#kim sunwoo#the boyz#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#the boyz fics#sunwoo fluff#sunwoo scenarios#sunwoo imagines#kpop fanfic#tbz fanfic#tbz imagines#tbz scenarios#sunwoo oneshots#tbz oneshots
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thanks for the tag!!! i luv talking about myself HAHAH @sturkillerbase
1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)?
I have like 5 fics I could post if i edited them i just havent had time fml but I would call them finished
2) How many WIPS do you have right now?
Seven fml HAHAHAH
3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both?
Both! I have a lot of ideas but theres a couple of fics that have been inspired by requests, they usually take a little longer for me to write though bc i have no idea where to take them hahahah
4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have?
I think I have two??
5) How many fandoms do you write for?
Marvel and Star wars r what I know best so 2? tons of charatcers in those worlds i feel like its enough
6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for?
I was a massive one direction fan, but I wouldnt call what I posted actual writing HAHHA thank fuck its all deleted now
7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other?
reader inserts mostly, maybe i should expand idk
8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for?
I do have a draft for Javi from Narcos is that counts?
9) Do you read fics as well as write them?
omg of course
10) What is your favorite genre to write for?
i want them to fuck. but with proper build up HAHHAH
11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?
hurt/comfort always omfg.
12) What do you do to get motivated to write?
I have no idea, it literally will come to me at random times when im day dreaming and ill just be like holy shit write this down
13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write?
i cant think of any rn, anything i dont write is usually also things i dont read
14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested?
hmmm maybe more mcu characters???
15) How long have you been writing fanfiction?
nothing serious before a few months ago
16) Did you read fanfiction before you started writing?
omg i literally did nothing else HAHAHA
17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well?
yep just here! i might post on ao3 at some point but so far just here
18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”?
i feel like my standard for myself is different, but for a drabble anything like 500-700 words, one shot would be over 1k and then fic like anything over 5k??? mine are always longer tho idk i cant shut up
19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other?
one shots i think
20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why?
nope! my only series is on a lil hiatus but only bc i have no idea what to do next hahah
21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr?
hmmmm i feel like the whole reblog/like ratio maybe?? i dont write anything for the likes or reblogs, but fics can reach a ton more people who might like it/give feedback if you reblog instead!!! support ur fave writers!!!
22) Do you write at a particular time of day?
usually at night/late afternoon
23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc. to write or do you need silence?
i legit have tv shows on in the background. my mind can never concentrate unless i have like a thousand things happening at once hhaha
24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing?
nope we wing it out here
25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?
usually i post right before i go to sleep because thats when i finish, but i dont really keep to a schedule or anything
tagging anyone who wants to do it!!!! tag me in urs i wanna read about all u beautiful ppl <3
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DON'T YOU SEE
JJ x Plus size reader
No fuxking clue how many words this is but here you go, my first fic in ages! I hope y'all enjoy.
Fluffy soft JJ is the whole plot really.
You laid on the HMS Pogue, an oversized shirt covering your body as everyone else swam around the boat. Your hands were pressed into the soft flesh of your abdomen, you felt the bit where your stomach stuck out where your bikini pressed too much into your chub. Your friends looked to be having an amazing time, and you wishes so much to join them, but there was a deepest fear of rejection and mockery for your body. The rest of the pogues had already seen you in a swim suit before but today felt different, when you woke up and looked in the mirror, it felt wrong, you felt bigger, misshapen, unattractive, simply, you felt wrong. JJ watched you from the water, his eyes scanning your still figure, admiring how your shirt feel across your breasts, tucking into your back roll, slipping down off your belly and ending at your thick thighs. God, your thighs, part of him wanted to bite the soft flesh of your inner thighs as you wrapped your legs around this head. He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head because he could feel himself growing hard.
"Y/n, you joining us?" JJ called, trying to distract from his smutty thoughts.
"Nah, not today, sorry JJ," you replied, rolling your head to the side to look at him as you spoke.
"Aw, come on, the waters great and it's so hot out you have to swim," Kie shouted as she splashed at John B and Pope who wrote annoying her.
"Y/n, if you dont come in I'm pulling you in," JJ spoke, swimming closer to the boat, "I'm serious"
You looked down at him, seeing the threat behind his eyes, you stood up, it was slightly painfull seeing as your sweaty thighs had stuck to the fiberglass of the boat. You sucked in a deep breath, tugging the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your high waisted bikini. JJs eyes widened, he let out a low whistle, mumbling 'damn'. Had it been most other days you wouldnt have caught the adoration in his voice but you would have taken his explitive as a compliment, but you weren't like you were most other days. Taking his words as mockery, tears pricked your eyes, you dove over him, entering the water just behind him and diving deeper and swimming underneath his legs and under the boat, gasping for breath when you came up on the other side. You laid in your back, ears under water as you caught your breath, what you couldn't hear was the group freaking out, especially JJ.
"Y/n should have come up by now" he spoke, spinning himself around in the water.
"Yeah, they should have," John B agreed looking down into the murky depths past his feet but seeing nothing.
"Y/N!" JJ called before diving down, looking to see if you had hit a rock or something but unable to find any sign of you.
You lifted your head out of the water, hearing your friends call out for you, and it clicked, something you hadn't realized in your fog of self loathing that you had dove into the water and then disappeared. They must be freaking out, you thought as you gripped the edge of the boat, kicking you legs as you hoisted yourself in, grabbing your shirt immediately to cover your body.
"Hey guys," you hollered, catching there attention as they all searched for you.
"Y/N, what the actual fuck, we thought you drowned" Pope yelled
"You scared the shit out of me," John B chimed in
"If you ever do some shit like that again you're dead to me, I was so worried" Kie added finally
JJ, as opposed to everyone else didnt say anything, just climbed into the boat and enveloped you in a hug. You flinched at the contact, not wanting anyone to feel how big you were.
"I thought you died," he whispered in your ear, and something in his voice broke when he spoke.
"Well I'm alive," you spoke, coldly, remembering what he said. He pulled back from the embrace, trying to look you in the eye, sensing that something was off.
"Yo, you good" he asked gently, still trying to catch your eye.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered that my mom needed me home for something" it was a total lie, the only thing that your mom needed you to do was to stay the fuck out of her way.
"Oh, okay, guys we got to get Y/n home, they have something to do," JJ shouted to the rest of the group, even though he didnt really believe it.
The group was quick to return to shore, all piling into the twinkie to get you home. John B., Pope, and Kie all spent the way to your house chatting, but you stayed quiet, your hands fiddling in your lap, JJ was quiet too, watching you with concern and curiosity in his eyes, what was up with you? You never would have done the disappearing act earlier on any other day, you knew it would cause too much concern, he was also worried about your silence, you were often such a talkative and fun person.
"Sorry for cutting the fun short guys," you broke your silence as you stepped out of the van.
"Nah, it's fine, you didnt, cause ya know, the fun never ends," John B. smiled at you
"Plus, there is always time tonight, we could meet back up at the Chateau," Pope chimed in.
"Yeah, maybe," you smiled softly, thinking about how you didnt want to see anyone else today, just lay in bed. As you climbed the steps to your house someone caught your wrist making you turn around, your eyes meeting JJs. As soon as you saw him, you felt your heart melt a little, how gently his hand was on yours, but then you remembered what he said earlier. You pulled your wrist from his grasp, looking him dead in the eye.
"Yes, JJ?" You asked, a slight bitterness in your tone, causing him to step back.
"I-I just wanted to say goodbye," he said, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.
"Oh, bye" you said, opening the door and closing it quickly behind you, your back hitting the wood.
JJ stood there for a second, staring at the paint peeling off the door, feeling wounded at your coldness.
"Hey JJ, you comin?" Kie yelled at him from the Twinkie, snapping him out of it.
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, jogging back down the steps.
You stayed in your room for hours, your phone buzzing on the night stand as you hid under the covers. The sun had set on the water, the sky still shining a faded orange and purple. You hadn't moved since you got home, just laid in bed and let your mind stop, the existence of your body disappearing beneath the covers.
Your cheeks were damp with tears, wiping them away as they feel was too much work. There was a light knock on your window, making you shoot up straight in bed, looking at the window pain, behind sat a very concerned looking JJ.
You got out of bed, lifting up the window and stepping aside so JJ could climb in, this was something he had done before, crash at your house if he was tired of John B. but didnt want to go home.
"Hey Y/n," he spoke softly, a rarity for JJ
"JJ, what are you doing here?" you hissed, still not wanting to be around anyone
"Well, you weren't answering your phone and you were acting really weird earlier so I, I got worried"
"Yeah, like you care" you snapped, still over reacting at his words earlier
"What the fuck is your deal," he bit back "I'm trying to be nice, to be a good friend, and maybe make you realize that I fucking like you but you keep shooting me down,"
"What?" you muttered
"Nevermind, I shouldn't be here," he said, making a move for the window.
"No, you cant like me," that caught his attention, he turned around, your face was confused, your brain clearly trying to put things together, "how could you like me when I look like this, I mean, you even mocked me this morning,"
"Wait, what? Mocking you? When, what? And why the fuck cant I like you, is there some rule somewhere written in fucking stone,"
"Yeah, you made a mocking cat call when I took off my shirt to swim,"
"You thought I was mocking you?" His brow furrowed "I wasnt mocking you, that was genuine, I was trying to get you to realize that I have a thing for you!"
"JJ why?"
"Why? Why what? Why do I like you? Are you serious? Have you seen yourself!"
"Yes, yes I fucking have and that's exactly why you cant like me," you yelled, a tear escaping your eye.
"What are you even saying, Y/n?"
"This" you gestured to your body "This is why you cant like me, I'm fat JJ, I jiggle and my thighs rub, I have back rolls, I-" JJ cut you off, grabbing your face in his hands, thumbing your cheeks softly as he pressed his lips to yours hastily. You melted into him, giving yourself to the kiss, as if something in you surrendered to his affection.
You both pulled away, gasping for breath, forehead leaning on each other.
"Y/n, I like you, and that's always been something I've had a hard time saying, but I do, I like how you stomach sticks out, and how thick your thighs are, sometimes I imagine myself between them," you pulled back, looking him dead in the eye and biting your lip. "Moving on, I like how your boobs aren't a handful, they are like 5 handfuls, and how soft your back rolls are, I like you, I like your body, so get that through your dumb head," he joked, tapping your skull causing you to giggle. He pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. "Now that's out of the way, will you please just be mine, Y/n?"
"Yeah, JJ, I'll be yours, happily," his face broke into a smile as he ran his hands up and down your sides, leaning down and mashing his lips with yours.
#jj maybank#jj x reader#obx#obx netflix#obx fic#jj fluff#jj x plussizereader#plus size reader insert#john b#outer banks#jjxreader#jj maybank fluff
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Hey love ! How are you ?? ♥️♥️ i love the scene you wrote after Arthur kills Murray. If you want to do another, here’s my request 😉
How about a reader who is in the apartment when Arthur kills Randall. After Gary is gone, she’s scared but he reassure her and promise to never hurt her. And she tells him that she loves him no matter what. Of course there is no obligation 😁 I’m addicted to your writing !! ♥️
Hi. First of all thank you for your request and for your nice words. This makes me soooooo happy to hear and it means A LOT to me!!!! It means SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
READER COMFORTS ARTHUR AFTER KILLING RANDALL
I had to change it a little bit, especially the reason why he kills Randall, because Arthurs situation would have been a whole different one if he had a girlfriend. Me personally I think he would have never killed someone while being loved and not alone anymore. The thought of him killing someone while his loved one is wittnessing it, is even harder. BUT I still love the fact hat you asked for a request that shows that the reader / his girlfriend is there for him no matter what. Even after a murder happened. And going off 7 meds at once can do a lot to a person. So I hope the changes are okay with you and you still like the result.
"You`re so beautiful, Arthur. I could stare at your face forever". The hint of a smile was crossing his face while he took the brush to whiten his chin while a cigarette was burning in his left hand. He looked like a piece of art doing his own make up. His reflection in the mirror stared back at him. The white paint gave his well structures face an even more intense look to it. Haunting. Tragic could be seen behind his eyes. The kinda tragedy that the greatest of all storms couldnt possibly wash away. It was there raging inside of him. Even in his calmest moments. Especially in his most quiet ones, there was this orchestra of chaos burning in his core. Still all he wanted was a moment of peace. Of silence. Love. You took the brush and helped him paint the rest of his face white. Arthur closed his eyes. His dark eyelashed protecting them like a curtain. He wanted to feel it with all his senses. How your hand was leading the brush. It was almost like being touched by your fingertips. Just as thoughtful and loving. He could just tell that it was your hand leading it. No other hand would have been so good to him. "Whats wrong , darling?" you asked him, feeling that there was a heavy weight resting on his tiney shoulders. Arthur shrugged "Thinking about Randall and how all of this mess started with him giving me that fucking gun" he replied. His face twitched in an uncomfortable way. "I still think he gave me that gun, hoping I`d kill myself with it. Or...I dont know... maybe he just hoped for what happened in the end. The way I fucked up. The bad shit I did. " Arthur looked at you . His green eyes pierced you in a way that made it impossible for you to not feel your knees weaken. It hurt so much to hear that some people out there really wanted to see Arthur on the ground. Wanted to see him hurt. Suffering. Dead even. Your hand gently touched his cheek and got stained with white "Arthur, we both know that what you did on the subway was self defence. It was three of them and they could have beaten you to death." He nodded. A stain of hair fell to his forehead as he took a deep drag of his cig "Yeah....you`re right...I guess it was. I hope it was. Sometimes I`m not sure I remember it right. Some nights I remember it this way, sometimes another. But in every single version of it, they were about to kill me first." You wiped the curl out of his face. His freshly dyed hair was soft to the touch. "And in every possible version you came home to me and I told you it was a good thing to save your own life" He once again nodded without looking very convinced. "I`m so glad they didnt caught you. They still dont know who ended their lifes. There were so many guys in clown make up running around these days." Arthur smoked teh rest of his cig "I have a bad feeling about this. Its a gut feeling....like the cops will be here any minute. Ringing my door... and ...take me away from you...." You couldn have sworn to see a tear hiding behind the galaxy of his eyes. The thought of being taken away from you was Arthurs worst nightmare. Being locked away in Arkham state hospital wasnt so bad for him in the past. But now...now that he had you it was horrible to think of nights spent all by himself. With just a photo of you under his white , bleach smelling pillow. No loving arms around him, helping him sleep. Keeping him save from nightmares. Just staring at ceilings and more blacked out diary pages. He didnt cared so much about himself anyway. It was the both of you together he cared about most. And he wanted to protect you from anything that could do you any harm. Ever. Arthur was your protector. And if anyone would try to seperate the two of you from one another, he would not think twice about it to end this person. The doorbell. Arthurs muscles twitched. His shoulderbone was becoming more and more visible as he opened the drawer to get the scissor "I knew it" he whispered "Its the cops." Within seconds your whole world fell apart. What if they knew? What if they will take Arthur with them now? You coudlnt even imagin a day or a night without him anymore. Arthur was your home. They couldnt just come in and take your home away from you. "Oh my god....Arthur" you whimpered "Please dont open the door..." He stood up "Dont worry, baby. I will take care of it." The scissors disappeared in his pockets. This was bad. Your whole boday started to hurt. Your mind was raging. This was a nigtmare. Is this how Arthur felt sometimes when he wasnt sure of reality anymore? Was this a taste of how he lived most of his life? Uncertain of what is happening . Arthur checked the door "Its okay. Its jus Gary and Randall". The weight of the world was falling off your shoulders. Thank god it was only his workmates. "Hey guys, come on in" Arthur opened the door while Randall was talking about what was going on outside. Arthur claimed that he didnt knew anything about that. Gary handed you a bottle of champain "I brought a little present" he smiled "I`m so gald that that Athur isnt alone anymore. He really needs someone on his side, you know? Its not good for him to be alone with his....thoughts I think. " You took the present and thanked him. Gary was the only one of his workmates that you wittnessed to be actually nice to him. You looked over to Arthur and Randall. Arthur seemed annoyed by him. Or hurt. Probably both. "You`re too sweet Gary. And yes. I try my best to be there for him. In any situation, you know? He has been left alone since he came into this world. " Gary nodded sadly. He really felt for Arthur. "I stopped taking my medication" The tone in Arthurs voice sounded strange. You didnt knew about him not taking his medication anymore. Why wouldnt he tell you about something important like that? Was it something he wasnt telling you to make sure that you wouldnt start to worry about his condition? The way he told Randall about it, sounded more than concerning in your ears. "I feel a lot better now" he added. You knew that Arthur was always convinced that the doctor should increase his medication. But you would have never thought that he wanted to stop taking them. Maybe it wasnt even his desicion. Maybe something else happened. Was it possible that he didnt got his receipes anymore? "Good for you" Randall replied. Not a spark of honesty in his sarcastic voice. Arthur was standing in the doorway. His body language changed since he was talking to Randall. Randall was the representation of all the bullies that ever tortured him. Arthur looked even smaller than usual, now that Randall was standing in front of him. You could tell that Athur was thinking about the gun. And why Randall handed it to him. Loaded. He could have killed himself with it. Arthur took his cigarette and drew a smiley on the wall, laughing. It wasnt his usual laugh. It was different. A laugh you had never heard before. Going of his meds must have changed something inside of him. "Arthur?" you walked up to the love of your life and tried to talk to him. But he seemed to be focused on Randalls hand, which slowly reached down his pocket while he talked about the cops showing up. "I just want to make sure that our stories line up, because you`re my boy and...." You`re my boy. Arthur had heard this sentence before. Right after he gave him the gun. "Artie?" you tried to get through to him but his eyes were still lingering on Randalls big hand. Convinced that Randall was about to pull a gun. He finally tured his head into your direction "Now close your eyes, baby." Arthur whispered softly before he rapidly grabbed the scissors and with one fast movement he sticked them into Randalls neck. A flood of blood appeared. Arthur pulled the scissor out just to stick them into Randalls eye. A scream. Gary started crying. And you. You just stood there. Paralyzed. All of this seemed unreal. Like a nightmare you barely remembered after waking up but you still felt it in your subconsiousness. Waiting to be analyzed. Arthur grabbed Randalls heavy body and slammed his head against the wall. Another time. And another. Ten times. Until his scull cracked. Blood was dripping from the walls and from Arthurs angelic face. You wanted to scream his name, just like Gary did. But you couldnt. "Arthur why would you do that?" Gary cried in the corner of the room, shocked by his actions. "I think h-he thought R-Randall was about to pull a gun....it triggered him w-when Randall called him his boy." you stuttered. Gary covered his face with his hands. He couldnt belive what your boyfriend just did eighter. Arthur was sitting on the floor next to Randalls body, breathing heavily , his eyes unfocused, with a feverish look to his face. Was he aware of what he just did? Was he aware that you were still in this room with him? Or was he elsewhere? Far away from you? Oh god, how much you wished he was still in there. Gary wanted to leave but was too afraid to pass Arthur. "Its okay Gary, you can go" Arthur smiled. Hearing his voice again felt good. He was at least able to talk. "I`m not gonna hurt you". Gary took a small step towards him. Arthur scared him for fun. His sense of humor could be kinda dark. Still. But only seconds later he helped Gary with the door when he couldnt make it to the lock. Before Gary left the apartment, Arhur kissed his forehead saying "You and Y/N were the only ones who were ever nice to me." Gary ran as fast as he could. Arthur closed the door, checking his chest. realizing there was blood all over his body. He kneed down to land on the floor again. Trying to catch his breath. It seemed like he was having a panic attack. Arthur started to quietly sing to himself. Thats when you realized that he needed help. He needed you now. More than ever. You carefully walked towards him. "Arthur?" He barely turned his head, humming. Your gently took his face between your hands. Randalls blood staining your fingertips. "Arthur, darling. Are you here with me?" He nodded "Always". "You loooked into his eyes but his gaze was still unfocused. His mind all over the place. "Breathe, Arthur. I am here with you. Try to breathe with me." The mixture of grease paint and blood felt strange between your fingers. But somehwere underneath there was that face you loved the most. Arthur stopped humming "Dont.....dont be afraid of me, please. I feel you being afraid. Please dont. You know that I could never hurt you." Arthur leaned in to place a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips. And even though you knew that his face was stained with another persons blood you let it happen. Tasted it. You knew that you could trust him with your life. "I`m not....not afraid of you, Arthur. I´m just afraid of what is happening inside of you. What it does to you." "My sweet angel" he said, stroking your cheek with his red fingertips "Always worried about your man" he chuckled, closing his eyes. "I had to" he added "he was about to pull a gun!" You havent seen a gun on Randall but you would never tell him. He thought he just saved your life. this was the only way to cope with what he just did. "I know Artie, I know." you took him into your arms to cradle him like a little boy. "It will be okay. Everything will be fine as long as we are together." A silent tear ran down Arthurs smeared cheek "You still love me? I told you to look away. But you didnt. You just didnt." He whimpered. "I never wanted you to see this. Can you still love me ?" Your hands shaked as you took his bloody hand in yours "I loved you before we even met and I will love you for as long as my soul exists" you whispered into the still of the room. "I love you too" his voice cracked. "Now stand up. We´re gonna wash the blood away, Okay? You really need to get this off you now". Arthur nodded as you lead him into the bathroom for him to take off the rest of his cothes and get into the bathtub. His blue pants and underwear was now lying on the floor. You turned on the water and waited for it to fill, as you thoughtfully grabbed a sponge to wash his face. Arthur closed his eyes and listened to the music inside of his head. It became calmer now that you touched him. It was hard not to shake while watching the water turn pink. But it felt good to get it off his face. With every cleaned part you were able to breathe again. To recognize him. "Thank you" Arthur mumbled "I dont deserve you". After his face was clean you couldnt stop staring at it. there he was again. Yor sweet,angelic Arthur. The man with the most gentle hands. The softest heart. He was right there with you and you were here to wash his sins away. You now focused on his chest, noticing that his heart was beating fast as you let your hand slide over the skin above it. HIs fragile heart which had experienced so much torture and pain. To much pain to handle. Later you had to figure out what to do with Randalls body. But for now you just had one purpose. To take care of the man you loved the most. You continued by washing his hair. Washing the sweat away. Curl by curl. Your hands turned green and Arthur looked more vulnerable than ever. "Why didnt you tell me that yo stopped taking your meds?" you asked him, afraid of his answer. "They cut the funding. I was afraid to tell you.... I´m sorry. I should have. " "Oh Arhur. we have to do something about this. You know that right?" "Yeah" he breathed, staring at his now clean hands. Knowing that you will figure this out together. All of this. "We gotta hurry a bit, Arthur. They will be here soon and try to get you back at Arkham. But dont worry about that okay? We´ll be running away. Somewhere far from Gotham. We`ll find a nice place to stay. Just the two of us. Together."
"I know we will find a way. We always do, right?" he whispered .And when his intense eyes met yours with such certainty you leaned in to kiss him on the lips, telling him that everything is going to be okay, while you pulled the plug to rinse away the last traces of red.
#arthur fleck imagine#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck#joker arthur fleck#arthur fleck fanfiction#arthur fleck fanfic#joker#joker joaquin phoenix#joaquinphoenix#joker fanfiction#joker fanfic#joker imagines#arthur fleck headcanon#joker fandom#dc#fanfictions#joaquin phoenix joker#joker x reader#joker x you#joker x y/n#arthur fleck x y/n#arthur fleck x you
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ive been getting a lot of hate asks and stuff about my dabi fic posted yesterday and i'd post about it now rather than leave for it later. *here is the comment that was in my fic that made some people upset. it's from the original doc and has now been edited out from the story itself.
when i had written it, it was ONLY in reference to the kink (chikan) itself since it is a popular genre in hentai's/pornos and an actual issue in Japan. "sick obsession" was in reference to the perversion of groping, not the people themselves. just like if i were to write something for ex; america, it would be something like, "america had a sick obsession for teacher and student relationships". the part itself just was not the best way to describe it since i directly am not from Japan. it wasnt meant to say that "japan people are xyz". i do not believe that Japanese people are rapists, and although it came across as that anyways, i do feel sorry about it because it wasnt my intention at all. if you know me, im one of the people who hate any type of stereotypes/jokes about asian people. in me explaining the quote, i am in no way excusing what was written, just explaining what i was thinking when i wrote it. i do now understand that it was insensitive, and it was my fault for even thinking it was a good idea to put in the story in the first place.
it didnt cross my mind that to any reader that it would be offensive and it's ironic considering it placed in anime fic of all places. the line wasnt removed to cover it up, it was deleted because i realized i had fucked up and didnt want anyone else to feel like that reading my story. for that anon and anyone else who took offense to it i am very sorry because i really didnt think it through and there isnt an excuse for it. just poor judgement and writing.
the second issue is that people were saying i condone/support rape now because they think the reader gets assualted in the fic. i do not write rape nor do i condone it. never in the story does reader get raped and i even state that Dabi wouldnt do that to someone (because i believe he wouldnt), especially to someone he does/nt know. in my fics i always make sure to add in that either character x reader know each other and have discussed such kink, and or character gets a definite answer to reader that they (reader) wants it. even if i were to write it, it would be for something plot wise and not just "yes good assualt" and the whole story wouldnt sexualize it. yes it was poor timing, and yes i still believe in everything ive said before and even now.
since we're on the topic of consent fics anyways, i had also freshly started receiving hate about writing dub-con only after i had made a callout post (back in july) and all that jazz. from then, i have even stepped up from my earlier works to put in the tags to make sure that it does not come across someone's dash who doesnt want it. in addition to this, i have used better warnings on my works as well. since i think it's important to discuss it now, i will talk about what i write. 45/55 of the time when i do write dub-con, it isnt for the ✨ kink ✨ or to sexualize the moment. i am embarrassed and ashamed to admit it since i have never talked about my personal life ever on my blog so to open up about this is hard and i dont want people to perceive this as an excuse, just the p.o.v of where i produce my works.
please do not make fun of or mock me, it's hard enough talking about this as is. many events in my life have led to shaping me into thinking/believing that intercourse has to be reluctant at first to really enjoy it. since i also have enough trust issues on my own to physically cope with it, i use writing for it instead. and no, this has nothing to do with aforementioned callout post either. of course i know now from proper treatment and working on myself that sex isnt supposed to be like that but it's just my outlet with getting it out. my issue with people who write non-con/rape have not experienced it or focus it mainly on being assualted just because it makes the story "hot", which doesnt sit right with me. not only this, they do not tag/warn properly either, which i do (explanation in blue).
as a reader i do think you can send me asks like, "hey, i dont like that you did this" because i can always keep that criticism in mind for my later stories. had it been an ask (or asks) that had been genuine concern would have been fine, but the fact that people are sending around a screenshot and jumping to make posts so they can get a chance to bully me again is the same toxicity i was talking about. if you were actual supporters of mine (whether you didnt like what i wrote or not), why was the thought of sending it to people who hate me the first thought to do? were you expecting me to say i didnt do it? unlike most people i can admit to my own wrongdoings.
its the fact that REAL people were offended and you guys are using it for your sad agenda to have everyone hate me. you guys are OBSESSED with stalking me even though you cant stand me. bringing up old callout posts and then trying to shove words into my mouth that arent there show very clearly what yalls true motives are. capitalizing on my mistakes and waiting for moments where i say something you dislike is NOT you playing hero, youre just toxic people waiting for an outlet to abuse someone. stop pretending to care about issues when you dont. any asks/etc related to this that are just straight up hate will not be answered.
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Memories
Memories ( Dean x Reader)
Warning:/sadness/ heartache/ heartbreak/ tension/ depression/ pain
FYI I wrote this while I was watching the notebook lol
Hey guys sorry its been a while since i wrote, took a year off and needed to get some ideas and was reading others work and it helped me to do better writing and put more of me in writing so , sorry its so long was just really was in the mood.
Summary: Dean and you broke up many months ago You both decide it was best after everything that went on, but one night changed for the two of you.
Tagged list @deanwanddamons @holylulusworld @marvelfansworld @donnaintx @katymacsupernatural @myinconnelly1 @amanda-teaches@nikki082489 @flamencodiva
let me know what you think and reviews and thanks so much
(Dean pov)
She was my everything. O client ask for a better girl. It was like that one movie she made me watch. Beauty and the beast. That movie was one of her favorites. I didn't understand why she told me it was our love story. Pssshhh me And love stories ha.
I didn't understand what she meant by it but later I knew what she was telling me. The beast was a mean person who was cursed and didn't have many friends or family. Until one day belle showed up and taught him how to live and learn to love again. I could see why she called me the beast. She was my belle. No matter where she was she always call me her beast and I would call her my belle.
Walking to to old bedroom we use to sleep in together. I turn on the light. So empty and quiet her stuff is gone and the room feels cold and lifeless. Sighing to myself I lay down on the bed. Placing my head on the pillow. The sweet smell still lingers on the pillows. That sweet scented lavender honey mixture she loved. Closing my eyes for a few seconds it feels like she still here.
Few hours later I slowly wale up. Sam wasn't home yet so I decided to get dinner ready. As I started getting out of bed I noticed something odd. The book shelf that was near my bed had some kinda of box.
I reached over to the side pulling it towards me. Taking into my hands. I notice it had belong to (y/n). It wasn't just any box it was one of those chinese boxes she tried to get me interested in(fyi my dad has these when I was kind I loved them so much )
Trying for about ten minutes I was about to give up when I slid one more piece and it popped right open. Placing the box down on the bed I remove the two items from the box .
As I remove the items from the box I find a picture and a letter. i Uncrumpled the picture. It was from when me and (y/n) met for the first time. She was so beautiful and she was so perfect, Moving my finger across the picture. My eyes start to well up. Sniffing a little bit, As I put the picture down I find a note. Opening the note.
August 12. 2013
Dear, Dean
I have had to write this note about 100 times, im not even sure how I am gonna give this to you or maybe send it, ummm. Dean there is so much I wanna tell you but I am not sure how the words can come out. Dean I know life hasnt been easy for you and sam. I know you try to play this tough guy but i know deep down your afraid but its okay. Its okay to someone in. I know i know i have my own issues that i have to slove but Hey we are a team.
He laughs a bit. Runnin his finger down the letter. Few droplets start falling on his face. He finishes reading.
'Dean i hope you know that no matter what happends in life or even in choas times you will always be my beast and i will always be your Belle.
I love you dean more then you know.
Love (y/n)
Dean rubs his hand over his face sighs to himself and sets the paper down. Looking one more time at the picture. Something clicks in his head. He grabs his keys and heads out to find you and tell you he needs you.
Driving for a few hours i decided to stop a motel. I called sam letting him know i was okay. He gave me information on (y/n) .i needed to see her .
Putting my key into the lock of my room. Opening up the room had a very errie look to it. Walls painted like a yellow vomit with a few chipped paint. Walking in i set my bag down on the bed.a part of me wanted to just say fuck it and go back home she wouldnt wanna talk to me.. what could i say to her. A millon thoughts running in my head. I decided to just relax and try to call her. Making my way to thw bathroom when my phone lit up.i grab my phone before i could answer it was (y/n) number lighting up. I quickly answered it.
'(Y/n) i said with a hushed whispear
'dean' she says with a quite sleepy voice.
'Umm hi" i can hear the nervous way of her talking.
'Where are you' she ask me.
'Im in georgia just needed sometime and a vacation"
''IS sam with you'
'Nope just me'
I could hear the nervouseness in her voice. My thoughs were running a millon times fast. I could hear the movement of.my heart muscles beatting so fast it was like it was gonna fault out. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence.
'Is everything alright are you okay? Do you need me to come-
"No sam okay everything fine" i say with a bit of a laugh.
"I just needed time to think and gwt my thoughts in order. I say scratching under my chin.
“Hmmm dean Winchester traveling without his brother wow sounds very serious” you say with a small chuckle .
'I got the letter you wrote me on the first night we met' i say breathing slowly,
I hear a small laugh on the other end.
'Oh that letter yeah i meant to give it to you but i guess i never did. I rewrote that letter like over a thousand times. It was when i wanted to tell you instead of face
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
I close my eyes and listen to her soothing voice
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
a tear drop falls from my eye, Trying my best to stay strong and not given in, I remember that song, I would sing it to her when she was sad or when she needed a friend. My heart started to beat more and more it, I was scared it was gonna fall out of my body.
And anytime you feel the pain
Hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool
Who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na-na-na, na, na
Na-na-na, na
“Dean” You say as tears fall down your face, Trying you best not to break down in front of him. you breath in then out,
“Yes baby” I say
“I miss you” You say trying bot to breakdown and wantng him to come find you and just hold you until you feel whole again.
“what happened between us (y/n)” We use to talk about everything and anything and even when we couldn't talk we just be there. Dean says breathing softly.
“i think we just stop fighting for each other and just didn't care anymore “ You sit down at the kitchen table,
“i think everything changed once you went to hell and you became a different person it was like no matter how hard i fought myself to stay with you in the end i just couldn't do it anymore Breathing and sighing a bit,
I swallow a huge lump in throat.tears falling down my face and brushing them away with my face.
“(y/n) Im so sorry i should have never put you through what i did. i wasn't even thinking of your safety or was thinking about you. Dean says rubbing his neck.
“Dean it wasn't your fault you had so much going on and you had to do what was best for you”
“MY JOB WAS TO BE THERE FOR YOU KEEP YOU SAFE KEEP YOU OUTTA HARMS WAY . Dean says crying.
“Dean” You say with a whispear.
“ Never In a million years did i think having this life would make things seem less crazy but the one thing in my life that was normal and happiness was you”
“after we broke up nothing felt right everything just seemed like i was living in a nightmare and i didn't wanna wake up” Dean says pulling out a tiny small box with gold writing.
“No matter how many bars i went or drinks i had i cloud not stop thinking about you” A part of me wanted to find you and bring you back here and try again.” but i knew I cloud not be that guy i once way.
“Hell changed me in a way i cant explain so many things so many emotion. so much horrible things i cant even put into words princess” Dean says shaking his head and tears falling down his face.
you can feel the pain in deans voice, you can hear him crying and trying his best to stay so long. You knew he had been struggling and you knew he wasn't the same. A part of you blamed yourself for why you and dean fell apart, Hearing the man you love trying this best not to fall to pieces you cant help but feel your heart ripping into two.
"baby I need to know one thing and please tell me' you can hear the pain and sadness in his voice.
"what dean" you say with a hush of your voice.
"I need to see you. I need to feel you with me. All I wanna do is hold you in my arms just hear the you laugh .
"dean" you know you needed dean touch you needed to see him so bad but you didn't know if you let him back in would you go back to normal or would you try to fix it.
"dean" you sigh closing your eyes and breathing deeply.
"I ___ phone goes dead'(y/n(yn)
Dean throws the phone on the bed
"dean dean" she about to call him back when she looks up to see the one man she fears.
"hello(y/n) we meet again soon everything goes black.
"put her in the car come on boys we have a play date"
What do you guys think I may make a second one not sure. I know this isn't my best but I'll be working more on my writting so bye ;)
#my writing#supernatural#deanwhinchester#deanxreader#oneshot#spn#thisonebrokemyheart#reader insert#reader#memories#supernaturaloneshot
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Arthur Morgan x Reader: Farmer’s Daughter. 2
Warnings: Cursing probably. Smut.
Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader
A/N: HELLO AGAIN. Listened to ‘Home’ by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros while I wrote this lmao.(Okay I listened to it like three times in the span of the three hours it took me to write this) You should all listen to it, gave me young Arthur x reader vibes tbh, it’s super cute and happy. RIGHT OK so I hope you guys like this one as much as you enjoyed the first one, didn’t plan this to be more than a one-shot but more than one person wanted it to be so here I am. Hope the smut didn’t feel too rushed! I was going to do a few time skips but this just felt right to me. Thanks so much for your notes, comments, and reblogs, they mean the world to me.
It had been a week without any sign from Arthur, and on the seventh day you had almost given up hope. But he showed up right when you were about to fall asleep, knocking over a vase on your table when he climbed through the window it sat in front of.
You sat up in bed and pulled the sheets over you, frozen solid in fear for a good ten seconds before your eyes adjusted to the light and you made out Arthur picking up the vase from the floor.
“You scared the daylights out of me.” You whispered as you calmed down from the near heart attack.
“Your doors were locked, so I uh, knocked on the window. You didn’t wake up and, well, here I am.” He sounded slightly embarrassed, taking his jacket off to put on the floor. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t need to do that, a little water is okay.” You said as you climbed to the foot of the bed, but his jacket had already soaked up the spilled liquid.
“Exactly. I’ve got other coats. At least it ain’t leather.” You both laughed a little at that and then you lit your bedside candle.
“Close the curtains, will you?”
He looked over his shoulder and realized he’d not only left the window open, but he gave a good view to anyone who looked up at the balcony. He quickly did as you asked, closing the window too. “You draw anything while I was gone?” He asked as he walked back over and sat in the chair at your table.
Another reason he was such a good man, he sat a respectable distance away from you when there was a whole bed he could have taken advantage of.
Which damn, you wished he would.
If there was anyone in the world who was sexually frustrated, it was a tie between you and Arthur. You had sex only once in your life, and it wasn’t even good. You had many other opportunities with pretty attractive people, but your family was almost constantly on you so you had no time to sneak away. And for Arthur, well, it’s self explanatory.
“A few things.” You admitted and crawled back to the head of your bed and pulled out the drawer of your nightstand. Your brand new sketch pad laid in there, your father had bought it for you a few days before since you had already filled up your last one.
“Really? Well, I’d love to see them.” He hated how vulnerable he felt then. Snuck into some girls room, knowing damn well he was a fool for being there. He fawned over you a little too much for his liking, last time he had butterflies over a girl he was very, very, very young. But that was the last thing on his mind for once. All he cared about now was the farmers daughter in her silk night-dress with the sketch book in her hands.
You opened to the first page where a simple sketch of a cat waited to be praised. “This is my cat Scully.”
Arthur got up from his seat and walked over to where you sat on the edge of the bed, squatting down at your knees so he could see properly. “Well, look at that.” He grinned and you handed the book over to him, which he gladly took. “How’d they get that?” He pointed to the right ear which was missing the top half.
You leaned over to look at what his finger pointed to and sighed. “One day when I was real young, I was playing outside and the neighbor's dog came over, guess he didn’t like how I smelt so he started growling at me. Scully, she saw me crying and came over, kicked its ass then chased it off.” You laughed when you remembered how your parents treated the cat afterward, taking her to the most expensive vet they could find. She was queen of the house from then on out.
Arthur snorted, his head bobbing slightly as he did so. “That so? She’s braver than any man I’ve ever met.”
You smiled and nodded in agreement. “You can go through them, there's only two more in there.” Your heart sped up in excitement when you remembered the last picture was something you’d done for him, a silhouette of him standing on your balcony overlooking your farm land.
He turned the page slow as to not wrinkle the expensive paper. When he saw the next one he raised his brows. “Christ, girl. You need to be selling these.”
The one he was looking at was a more detailed sketch, one you had done the day before. You still needed to do a little more shading on it, but it was mostly done. It was your parents sitting outside at the bench in your garden, they were both laughing and holding wine glasses. Your father had told your mother something funny and she was almost doubled over, one hand in front of her mouth and the other holding the glass outwards so she didn’t spill any on herself. They were surrounded by their roses and jasmine.
“How do you remember something like this?”
You shrugged with the biggest smile on your face and a blush in your cheeks. “Something like that just sticks.”
He looked up to you and shook his head before looking back down. “You’ve got me speechless.” He flipped to the next page and completely froze. He didn’t say anything for a minute, which worried you, but then he just let out a huff-like laugh of disbelief. “This me?” He knew it was him but for some reason he felt like he had to ask, just to hear you say it.
“Yes, it’s not weird, is it?” You asked while you chewed on your bottom lip nervously.
Arthur scoffed and stood up before sitting down on your bed next to you, his eyes on the paper the whole time. “I’ve never seen myself the way you draw me. Even though this is just my damn figure.”His words really hit you. You knew what he meant by it and although you wanted him to explain it himself you knew it was something he wouldn’t go into detail about. He probably didn’t even mean to say it, it was most likely a slip of his tongue.
After what seemed like several minutes he closed the book and handed it back to you. “No, this is for you.” You opened the book back open and cleanly tore the page out, handing it to the man sitting next to you.
“I appreciate it. I really do.” He said and walked over to the table, setting it down on top of his satchel. His hand lingered there momentarily, considering taking out his own journal and giving you the paper he had spent days perfecting. Anxiety gnawed at him and he pulled his hand away, turning back to you. “Sorry I didn’t come back earlier, by the way. Got caught up in some business and ended up in Valentine for a while.”
“No, don’t apologize.” You waved him off. “You didn’t even have to come back, we barely even know each other. You got what you came for the first time anyways, you could have taken my hundred dollar drawing and sold it to make yourself a rich man.”
He laughed and sat down at the foot of your bed, making sure to keep a proper distance from you so he wouldn’t scare you off. If only he knew you wanted the complete opposite. “Now, a hundred-dollars isn’t very rich, why do that when I could keep coming back and get more? That would be one hell of a business.”
Where on this cold earth did this man come from? How were you so lucky to know such a good person? Given, you had only seen him two times, but he had still made a name for himself. He had a good sense of humor, he was polite, and goddamn he praised your art like it was god. If there was one sure way to your heart it was through that. And not to mention he was incredibly attractive. Fit as could be, well-groomed yet he had this dangerous look about him that said he could put you down in two seconds flat if you tried him.
You wished he would.
In an attempt to clear the dirty thoughts that had flood your head you brought up a new subject. “The last time you were here you said my drawing was better than yours, you never answered me when I asked if you drew too.” You said and tried to look casual as you watched him for a reaction.
He cleared his throat and looked away from your gaze, his eyes landing on everything in the room besides you. “I said that? Of course I would. That sounds like something I’d say.” He laughed to try to chase his anxiety off. “Sure, I do. A little bit.”
“Do you have anything you could show me?” You asked and pulled your legs back up onto the bed, making yourself comfortable as you continued watching him. It was hard not to, every single thing he did was mesmerizing.
He scratched his chin and sighed. “Yeah, I do.” He reluctantly grabbed his satchel from the table and pulled his own journal from it. “They’re not the best, but, well, look for yourself. There’s some writin’ in there too, pay no mind to that.” He handed you the worn leather book and you flipped through it. It was mostly full of wildlife, plants and scenery.
“These are really good. This wolf looks like a photograph.” You said as you went through the pages. Some of his work was way better than anything you could ever dream of drawing, but he probably thought the same about yours. There were a few small doodles that made your heart melt, like one of a poodle that looked like he drew under sixty seconds.
You had gotten so wrapped up in looking at the pages you didn’t even notice the way he was looking at you. He looked at you like he was seeing something so magnificent, and if he dared look away he would miss something. The way your eyes scanned over the paper, the way you would smile when you saw something you found his drunk doodles, it made him feel like he was drunk then and there. He had almost forgotten about what he drew you, on the newest page. When your expression changed to something unreadable his heart sped up and he shifted anxiously on the bed.
“This is me?” Your voice was barely a whisper. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. Not because it was you, but because you knew it was the way he saw you. You were wearing that pretty white sundress you had worn the day he first saw you and you had jasmine flowers in your hair. You looked like you were in the middle of walking, your left hand trailing through the tall grass he had drawn you in. You had a small smile on your face and you were looking directly in front of you as if you knew you were being drawn. It looked amazing, so beautiful you couldn’t believe that was actually you. But sure enough it was identical. “I look so pretty.”
Arthur scratched the back of his head, torn between feeling utterly in love with you and feeling disgusted at how sappy and vulnerable he was. “I draw what I see.”
That was all you needed. You set the book down beside you and threw all your inhibitions out the window, crawling to the foot of the bed to kiss him. You took his face in your hands and pulled him towards you. His trimmed beard felt rough in your hands but you loved every bit of it. His lips felt even better against your own, they were hot and tasted raw as if he had been chewing on them for hours.
Arthur inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes wide and his hands raised off his lap in surprise. He wanted to push you off because he knew it was wrong and you’d regret it later. He told himself you had to have been drinking, there was no way any woman like you would kiss someone like him.
You were the one to end the kiss, but only because you were running out of breath. It seemed he had been too, since when you parted he sucked in a breath.
“Now why did you do that?” He asked immediately, his voice faultering.
“I don’t know.” You admitted with a shrug and a soft laugh. “I just wanted to. I’m sorry, I should have asked. I just, really… really like you, Arthur. I know we haven’t been in the same room as each other a total of ten hours… but I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this. I don’t know what the normal thing to do is when you like someone like this.”
Arthur shook his head and sighed. “Don’t do that. Please. Don’t.”
“Give me a reason.” You were still so close you were practically touching, your knees a hair length apart. “Because I don’t see any good reason not to.”
“(Y/N), I’m not a good person. I don’t know if I’ll stay around here long, I don’t normally stay in one place for too long. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, you’re a young beautiful woman. You could have any man, hell, any man or woman you’d ever want.”
“Really? Well, I want you.”
He sighed and closed his eyes, shaking his head again. “Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true, I want you, Arthur. I don’t want anyone else, not right now at least. And right now is all that matters.”
At your words he groaned, hearing the sentence ‘I want you’ coming from your mouth was too much for him. “But-”
You shut him up with another kiss, this one shorter but more heated. “Listen Arthur, I’m a big girl, okay? I won’t be heartbroken if we never see eachother again. I’ll be sad for a while, sure, but like you said. I’ve got my whole life. I’ll get over it.” You smiled and took off his hat, setting it beside him. “You think pretty highly of yourself if you think one night will be the end of me.”
Arthur laughed and finally looked at you. “You’re stubborn. You know that?”
“Of course I do. But now you’ve got me interested, what’s so good about you that you want to protect me from missing?” You questioned with an innocent smile, placing a hand on his knee.
He grew serious again and the playful smile disappeared. “(Y/N), I don’t think this is such a good idea.” He warned while he still had the mindset to think that deeply. Your hand on his knee wasn’t helping his good intentions. “If your folks-”
“Don’t worry about them. They sleep on the other side of the house with the river right outside their window. The only thing that will wake them is screaming, or the dogs outside. But don’t worry, I can be quiet.” You winked and took his hand in yours, impressed by how huge they seemed compared to you. “Please?”
There was no way of explaining how you got the idea to start kissing his fingers, it just felt right. Arthur closed his eyes and groaned in the ‘What have I gotten myself into’ type of way. There was no way he could say no to you, not when you were doing… that. “Christ, woman.” He hissed when you pulled him forwards towards the head of the bed.
He took a quick second to take his boots off and blow out the candle, providing you with a more comfortable sense of safety. There was no way anyone besides the two of you could see what was going on in your room.
He climbed back on the bed and kissed you, one hand on your cheek and one on the bed beside you. Arthur kissed so sensual and deep that you felt like you were kissing someone you had been married to for your entire life. Your heart swelled and all the blood made its way between your legs in a hurry. “Take this off.” You whispered against his mouth as you unbuttoned the front of his shirt.
He finished the rest of the buttons, sitting up on his knees to pull his arms out of the shirt. Once it was off he hurried back to kissing you like his life depended on it. He loved the feeling so much he totally forgot about the rest of his clothes and only stopped when you placed your toes on his belt buckle and gently pushed him back.
You smiled when he laughed and shook his head at you. “What? Don’t like taking your time?” He teased and lowered his hands to unbuckle his belt. The imagery mixed with the gentle clink of metal as he took his belt off drove you mad.
“I do once the clothes are off.” You meant to tease him back but you sounded far too serious. He had nothing to say to that so he just finished taking his belt off, laying it with his hat at the foot of the bed. When he leaned forward again you stopped him with your foot on his chest. “Keep going.”
“Maybe you should've been the one warning me.” He breathed and pulled his pants down his hips, standing from the bed to pull them off the rest of the way. “There’s no way I could have you just once.”
Good. You thought. You didn’t want him just once either.
Once he finally got his pants off you felt it was unfair that you were still fully clothed so you reached under your dress and pulled down your panties. He watched as you pulled them off of your raised feet with a look that just screamed sex. “Am I dreamin’?” He asked with a laugh, sliding back onto the bed in front of you.
“Come here and find out.” You grinned and spread your legs a bit, just enough to notice but not enough for him to see anything exciting.
“Jesus, woman.” His voice was barely a whisper and he leaned back into you, grabbing your waist gently to pull you flat on your back, his hips pressed flush against you. You could feel how hard he was through the thin fabric of his underwear and it drove you fucking crazy. He finally started taking the lead then and he slipped his hand between the two of you, sliding his fingers down your slick folds to your entrance. When he pushed a finger inside of you the both of you gasped, he didn’t expect you to feel so good around him.
“Oh, fuck.” You muttered and closed your eyes, grabbing onto his biceps. His arm muscles tensed under your touch, mostly his right arm since that was the one with its fingers inside you.
He kept at that for a while, curling it inside you in sync with the beat of his heart. You came just from that. When he felt you tense up around him mixed with the feeling of hot cum oozing down his hand he lost any patience he had left. He took his hand out from between your legs and kissed you again, using his right hand to take the last article of clothing he had off. When he pressed back down into you the breath hitched in your throat.
“God.” You moaned and moved your hands from his arms up to tangle into his hair. “I want you so bad, Arthur.”
As if he couldn’t be in any more of a hurry, you had to go and say that.
“You have no idea.” He said with a grunt and used a hand to guide the tip of his cock against you. He rubbed it up and down your slit a few times and you let out the filthiest sound he had ever heard. You locked your ankles around his back and pushed him into you, catching him by surprise.
The feeling of his cock fully inside of you was indescribable. You arched your back and rolled your head back into the pillows. He groaned and grabbed the bottom of your nightgown to pull off of you. You had to help him get it off your shoulders. After it finally came off he sighed, looking down at your body.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” He whispered and leaned back down into you. His thrusts were slow, but only for a few of them. Once he was sure you were ready he let himself go completely. You pulled his head down to yours and kissed him again as his cock drove in and out of you at a quick steady pace. He felt so amazing inside you, the feeling of his cock rubbing against that one special spot gave you your second orgasm.
Your third came when he rough handled you a little bit for the first time, he had grabbed your thighs roughly and slammed himself inside you about four times. The sheer force of it all knocked the air out of your lungs and left you paralyzed. The fourth time you came he had flipped you onto your stomach. The way he could manhandle you to easily was so hot to you that you swore you fell in love with him then.
When he pushed his cock back into you at the new angle was when you came, and god, he felt it. He almost came with you but he thankfully had the will to pull out and give himself a few seconds to calm down. Once he had enough time he continued fucking you into your mattress.
This all went on for what only felt like a few minutes. You had no idea that you’d actually been at it for nearly two hours. You probably would have gone longer if you didn’t decide to sit in his lap, that had been what finished him off.
When you were on top of him his cock reached deeper inside you than it had ever been before. He was stunned for a second, unable to move as you rode his cock and pulled his head back by his hair. When you sunk your teeth into his neck was when he truly lost it. He came undone in you, grabbing you by your hips and forcing you down further onto his length.
The noises that came from him sounded so primal it led you to your final orgasm. Thank god you came with him because there was no way he’d be able to go again after that. He’d be surprised if he had the energy to climb down that lattice and onto his horse.
No one said anything for a good while but that was okay. You couldn’t talk if you tried. You were too busy gasping for breath to form words.
Arthur was the first to speak. “I should probably leave now, I told Dutch I’d only be out a few minutes.” He sighed when he remembered that the older man had told him not to stay out too long since the law was keeping an eye out for them. You had no idea who Dutch was but you nodded anyways.
“Alright. I should go to sleep anyways, I’ve got to wake up early in the morning to go to town with my mother.”
Arthur nodded and ran a hand through his sweaty hair, noticing how messy it had become. Before he came over he had made sure it looked nice but now he was sure it looked as if he had no idea what a comb was.
You watched him pull his clothes back on, almost forgetting his hat and belt. He slipped your picture for him in his journal and safely secured it, sliding it back into his satchel.
After he gathered his things he gave you one last kiss at the doors, full of more passion than any others you had previously shared. “Could I come see you again sometime?” He asked after you parted with the most adorable smile on his face.
God. He was right in his warning, there was no way you could get over a smile like that.
“Arthur, you know the answer to that.”
#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#rdr#rdr2 imagines#rdr2#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x reader smut#arthur morgan imagines#rdr2 smut#rdr2 x reader#request#ask#myfanfic#farmersdaughter
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All the writer asks!!!!!!
I’ve already answered the pen n paper one so I’ll leave that one out and answer the rest haha
ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?
hmmm… well to usually set the mood would depend on the type of story I’m writing, if its horror/really angsty shit then I’m definitely going for dark themed music, if its something fluffy n cute- then im gonna go for some really happy upbeat music, so to set the mood- it’d usually depend on the genre
diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?
……Shhh… Let’s keep those my dirty little secret… (their not nsfw, thats not what I mean by that just to clarify)
journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?
Hmm I guess I’ve done it once or twice before, but I dont do it too often-
novella: do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?
I don’t think I’ve even came CLOSE to an entire novel but, I do a lot of short-stories and ESPECIALLY one-shots, im not very good at chapter based stories or anything
pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.
Ooooh fuck this is a tough one, Im too lazy to link it but- in my Yan!Henrik story there were some parts I ABSOLUTELY loved and felt were p damn good and in the werewolf story I wrote as well, some good parts in there too, but I definitely feel more fond over some of the scenes in the Yan!Hen story than any other one
genre: what genre do you prefer to write in?
Honestly, I’m pretty open to genres, like- fantasy, science-fiction, etc- the whole shabang- im not too picky bout any of them-
narrator: what pov do you like writing in best?
hmmm I guess like- wouldnt it technically be in third person with the way I write, for the reader its always You and or they, I always keep a story gender-neutral so that way all readers can be who they want to be in the stories, it can give them a better chance to imagine themselves in said position, now if i got a specific thing to do, male, female, non-binary, etc- then yeah I’d do that
backstory: how did you come to love writing?
That’s a- actually kinda simple tbh- its not an interesting story- At first I was actually unsure about it, but then- the more I wrote, the more I got super into it- It was just… super fun to me after I did it for awhile
time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)?
It’s a hobby for now, but I do wish I could open commissions- but hmm its been like, maybe 5-6 years by now, maybe even a bit longer
characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.
You should know this for sure haha, my favorite characters to write with tho- I’ll just say who they are, all the septic egos p much except… im still not too confident with writing Angus yet, some of the Iplier egos, like the Jims, Harold, and Eric, and I’m trying to branch out to other fandoms, I like writing with David n Daniel, from the cc fandom, and I’m trying to work on Dream Daddy characters too, Joseph, Robert, Mary, etc- and then my own characters too- I dont write wiht them often but I try
carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?
hmmm… I get inspired fairly easily so it’d be hard for me to name anything like that off the top of my head tbh
faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?
…. Why not ALL the tropes? …okay maybe not ALL of them
o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?
Eh, im a p open person to tropes/genres- I mean unless like a trope could count as in, like- “it was all a dream” or “you were the killer all along” or some shit like that, then that type of shit isnt REALLY my cup of tea
dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?
There’s a lotta things I think I could improve on, honestly… I think, its not a matter of insecurity really, more so like- no matter who you are, there’s always room for improvements, I think we all improve on things every day, writing, drawing, roleplaying, even simple things- after all, there’s nowhere to really go except forward in life, so I just tend to go with my own flow, and if I improve than I’m happy with that, if I dont? Welp, that just means I still have a bit to go-
playlist: what kind of music/songs help you write? do you have a writing playlist?
oh god I w i s h I was organized enough to fucking- have a writing playlist ashdjshfdsj, it just depends on my mood- sometimes I get distracted by songs tho-
record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?
…I wrote one, its a really old one and im not too proud of it, but, people like it apparently so I keep it up since it seems to make em happy and thats what matters in that regard, but nah im not BIG on writing things based off songs
nobel: have you published anything you’ve written? online or irl?
Hmmm not yet, I don’t think I’m ready to physically publish my stories or anything, although my dad does encourage it, he tells me I should find a publisher or whatever and publish some stories (it wouldnt be ones with like- characters from things like camp camp, dream daddy, etc of course- it’d be ones with my own characters)
notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?
D e f i n i t e l y a specific place and mood, my mood’s totally off and wrong right now and its frustrating bc im trying to write but the body and brain is like no motherfucker, be in pain and hate me more than you already do
parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?
I dont… know if ANY of my personal life has… influenced my writing? not that I know of anyways
dedication: if you were to publish a book or multiple, who would you dedicate the book(s) to?
I think… I dont know who I’d dedicate the books too or anything-
trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing?
…honestly? The one pet peeve I, myself, have with writing is the I/Me POV- now of course its fine if others use it, it could be easier to them, or they simply like it a lot, but I myself, just- cant fucking s t a n d that type of pov
input: what’s something you hate that people say to you about writing/your writing?
Okay- I need to be honest here, bc I get a lot of them, when I constantly state that I only do one shots and not chapter stories but the whole “pls continue” “another part to this please” “Do more of this” that doesnt really make me wanna do more, it makes me wanna move on actually from any of that, like im not about that plz continue, do more!!! type of comments
critic: what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about writing?
Oh god I’ve received TONS of good advice from people, especially when it comes to some of the German I use for Henrik, I will admit… I’ve been severely slacking with learning my German, and I…. I deeply regret it tbh, but- I never mind and am actually grateful when someone corrects me when using a word incorrectly in a sentence or whatever
mifflin: what do you feel is your strong suit in writing?
A n g s t
houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?
I love all compliments tbh, I especially love comments on my angst like NO HOW DARE YOU OP, or OP wha t the f uck- my he a r t, or anything like that- …im a sadistic lil gremlin arent I? I love breakin hearts with angst, but like any compliments I receive on my stories are all greatly appreciated, I just most of the time I dont have the time to respond to them, BUT- I do read em, every last one of em-
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For End of the Year Writing Meme: All the questions sound super interesting so just use this as an opportunity to answer whatever questions interest you most
So funny story I put this in my drafts to complete in the quiet time of New Year’s Day, but then I forgot about it completely. BRACE YOURSELF.
A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?
Lies by Marina and the Diamonds, to accompany the latter half of Valse Melancolique. It’s a really good song to show Irene’s POV at that point, especially her reluctance to accept that the webs she’s spun are basically collapsing around her.
“I just want it to be perfect / To believe it’s all been worth the fight,” is the most relevant set of lyrics, IMO.
B. Who’s your favourite side-character from something you wrote?
I really enjoyed writing side characters like Rose and Finn, though Rose just edges it because I’ve been enjoying writing her in Don’t Complicate It. Finn runs a very close second.
C. Get any good comments on your stuff this year?
Sure! All comments are good comments, let’s be real. Unless they’re an obvious troll comment or those “update now!!!” kind of comments. Those aren’t so good.
D. Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?
The artwork of the late 18th century and Roberto Ferri definitely influenced the tone of Valse Melancolique. Many scenes from certain stories were driven by a single image I had in my head as well.
E. Who’s your favourite main character you’ve written?
Though I do enjoy delving into Ben/Kylo’s psyche, I enjoy writing Rey more – she’s more enclosed, and I love chipping away at characters to get to their truths.
G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?
Towards the end of the year, I began to realise that writing can actually be fun like it used to be. I’ve been so aware of the way the world is currently that I’ve been convincing myself that my writing must have a message, or it’s not ‘worthy’. I need to understand that I started writing not to pass on any morals or messages, but as a release and a way to find enjoyment in the constant buzz.
H. How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?
All of those. I write on my phone, on my computer, on pen and paper. Music and no music, it depends. Most often I’m listening to a playlist/album which then stops and I cease writing an hour or so later realising I’ve been writing in silence.
I. What’s your favourite work you did this year? Why?
I’m always tempted to answer this kind of question with my most recent story. But I’m going to be really honest and say that star among the stars is a personal favourite. And it’s not just because of the pegging.
J. What are the best jokes you told this year? Any jokes you thought were funny that people didn’t catch? Vice-versa?
I’m completely blanking on this one.
K. Who have you killed this year? Why did they have to die?
Qui-Gon Jinn (to match with canon), Molly and Sherlock (hey it was a story based on Dangerous Liaisons, and I was reading classical Russian literature at the time of plotting) and Kylo Ren a bunch of times (metaphorically).
L. Which character did you most write about this year, and why do you like ‘em?
I wrote more about Rey. As mentioned before, it’s because I like chipping away at a character’s surface but also it’s because I really relate to her, especially in regards to her feelings of loneliness and her tendency to put on ‘a brave face’. Plus I really admire her compassion and her strength. I envy it.
M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?
Not particularly -- just headcanons and reasons behind why I write what I write. (I’ve never been very good with meta anyway.) I really like it when other people meta my fic, or pick up on something I didn’t! That is an AMAZING feeling.
O. Do you believe in outlines? Show us one!
I do indeed! I love my outlines. For some projects, I’ve got whole folders with docs labelled Initial Ideas, Plot Summary, Chapter Outline, etc. etc. I’ve got my notes app on my phone stuffed up to the gills with mini-outlines. I frequently use my story structure template, which is technically more for screenplays, but the breaking down into acts thing helps my brain figure things out.
P. What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?
When an author relies too much on UST and ruins the pacing. Like, an author drags out the first getting together because they believe that the anticipation is the only thing generating comments. If it’s right to have them bang, have them bang! The awkward morning after is a delicious opportunity for UST -- just a different kind. 9 times out of 10, your readers are there not for the smut because they’re invested in the story and like your writing.
Q. Quote three bits of writing you read this year. Can be your writing, or not.
Let’s mix it up.
“ “Why did you do that?” he demanded as they ducked into a side alley. “What part of ‘keep a low profile’ is difficult for you to understand?”
“I’m a good haggler,” Rey said through a full mouth. She didn’t have any idea what she was eating, and she didn’t care. It took so much effort to chew each bite instead of gulping it down whole. “He was trying to cheat us.”
“You didn’t haggle. You pushed.”
“I did not. Why would I knock him over in the middle of his stand?”
Kylo just stared. “You need a teacher,” he muttered. He watched her eat for a moment, his expression somewhere between thoughtful and disgusted, before taking a bite from one of his own skewers. Disgust won out. ” -- Symmetry and Black Tar by audreyii_fic. (Grumpy smuggler Kylo Ren, spunky scavenger Rey, canon divergence. Excellent.)
“ "Ben," Rey breathes once Kylo's mere inches away. It's the name Luke introduced him with, the only name she knows him by, and he's never bothered to correct her. Why hasn't he corrected her? The question flees from his mind as she closes her eyes and he leans down into the space between them, kissing her full on the lips. It's not gentle, he doesn't know how to be, but she opens for him the way the flowers she loves so much bloom in the sunlight. ” -- the surface of last scattering by diasterisms. (It’s the apocalypse, it’s exactly the right time to meet the love of your life, right? Read for utter devastation.)
“ Rey could spend hours in the Falcon’s inner workings. She’d spent so much time in the belly of hollowed-out Star Destroyers, which were horrific remnants of old worlds, cold and grey. The Falcon is alive, speaking a strange language she’s just about half-deciphered. Sometimes, on days where she misses the connection most and dreams of a boy reaching across the stars to find her, it feels like the Falcon doesn’t want to speak to her. It shuts down. Sparks spit at her, and mechanisms develop odd faults.Today, a jet of steam blows directly in her face, not harmful, but almost like a snarl of 'go away'.
Rey climbs out of the hatch, fetching tools. She works with that fault first.
“I’m not thinking about him,” she promises to no-one but the ship she’s looking after. ” -- If I was born as a blackthorn tree, by me!
R. If you had to rewrite one of your stories from scratch, which one would it be? What would you do to it?
Going to cheat here and head back to 2017. I’d rewrite Two Stars Aligned. What I’d probably do is make it a post-TLJ fic, where Rey and Ben decide to run away after getting involved in a secret relationship, but get shot down by the First Order -- after landing in Giaca, they become embroiled in Game of Thrones style politics and the ruling families, while the Resistance and the First Order conduct searches for them. I’d cut out the weird Force shit and make the redemption arc thing more organic by giving the whole story room to bloody breathe. Two Stars Aligned is actually the reason why I now try to stick to oneshots for exchanges and any anthologies I get involved in.
S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?
Sexiest thing written in 2018... It’ll have to be the pegging in star among the stars.
T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?
Feminism. Females being allowed to be as fucked-up and broody as the men they love, and perhaps, even broodier. Make women afraid of commitment, 2k19.
U. Any stories that took an abrupt U-turn from where you thought they were going?
If I were a blackthorn tree took a pleasing turn away from the initial outline. The initial idea was lots of secret trysts and stuff like that, but I much prefer the quiet romance with a note of hope at the end that it turned out to be.
V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.
Huh. Hm. Don’t Complicate It is turning out to be kind of fun to write; when I’m not allowing myself to be crippled by the brain goblins that is (they’re strong lately). It’s a combo of writing a trope/kink I’ve been wanting to write for ages -- A/B/O -- and remembering that it’s okay to have fun with it.
W. Who are your favourite writers?
@kylo-wouldnt-like-those-chips - @conchepcion (every time I think I’m out, she pulls me back in *shakes fist*) - @introspectivenavelgazer - @audreyii-fic - @kylorenvevo - ambiguously - @fettuccine-alfreylo and SO MANY MORE (this post is long enough already!!)
X. What’s your least favourite work of this year?
My least favourite has to be In Cars. It was an ambitious idea, which I didn’t really fulfil, I feel. Curse of being a perfectionist. I want something to be amazing. World-changing! Tear-jerking! I want Vestal virgins to weep golden tears over my words, already delicately transcribed onto ancient parchment by monks. Obviously, that’s an impossible standard, but I can’t help being cross when I don’t reach it.
Y. Why did you write? For fun, for a friend, for acclaim?
During 2018? Mostly for acclaim. It made 2018 a very difficult year for writing, and just a difficult year in general. I’m trying to make sure I have fun during 2019 with this stuff. Striving for perfection is a punishing task that no-one can ever accomplish because perfection doesn’t exist. Contentment does, though. As does happiness. And those should be more important.
Z. If you could choose one work and immediately finish it, what would it be? How would you end it?
I’d finish Sanctum, my priest Kylo fic. I’m split between continuing or rewriting anyway (the rewrite would include relocating the action to the medieval era, around the time Luther wrote that damned essay and pinned it to the church door). But I do know the exact image I want to finish on, which will remain whether I end up rewriting or not. It involves a name, a scrap of material and a rather fetching colour scheme.
Ooh. Cryptic.
#anonymous#answered#end of the year#did i just answer all these q's?#yes#i did#my ego is MASSIVE and i'm so sorry for that#long post for ts
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The Bizarre Pacing of Feast For a King
I WROTE ANOTHER LITTLE JOURNAL THING ABOUT MY COMIC enjoy
Feast for a king, right now, is around 4350 pages long. (A bit more than that, especially if you include the 80 page bonus chapter) but one thing about this story that stands out and ultimately becomes one of the biggest deciding factors of a readers enjoyment is the way I handle pacing.
Besides the ‘rough’ artwork, its absolutely the #1 thing people comment on. Disorienting, Rambling or meandering, it very much encapsulates a style that you would not typically find in a comic. It promotes an atmosphere of, obviously lacking an ‘editor’ who would attempt to reel things in or get to the point. As its creator, I’m very aware with how strange it is but that’s exactly one of the reason why I attempt to commit to it. I allow myself this strange liberty to participate in this comic in a format that is very revealing of all my flaws.. but also helps me discover my strengths as well. And besides that, it really gives me the most clear window of the possibilities of my skills.
Still at this point in my comic creating process, I start to hesitate to call this format experimental anymore. I understand that it is, but it also just.. is how I like to make comics. By calling it experimental, i find that I take myself a little less seriously as an artist. Or that it becomes a little more easy to put down what makes this process work and why its effective.
In the eyes of many, it breaks necessary boundaries and there’s not a lot pause for air. Its just like this, the entire way that it goes. Its something you must confront and deal with in order to read the story. I think that in a way, I use this pacing also as a protective wall for myself. The only problem is that it also isolates me from a larger audience. Which kind of sucks because, i think that my story is very special and i’d love for more people to read it because.. id.. like to make this my career and support me. I’m sure there are a lot of other aspects of my comic that make it hard to read besides the pacing but, I think that my pacing is something that I’d like to address in more detail as to why i do it. It IS absolutely an intentional choice, but at the same time, I’m not sure if its a choice I can really undo anymore. So perhaps its actually just something I can’t help but do.
1) The largest reason that I do this pacing is because its reflective of my main source of inspiration, Roleplaying! And, my favorite method of roleplaying is actually a very simple format close to chat-based style. I’ve been roleplaying since i was 11 and making characters and stories ever since. Its where I feel more comfortable working and exploring ideas. I wanted to make a comic feel like how I do when I roleplay. And how i roleplay is often filled with mundane, small scenes of almost pointless activities which end up really building that atmosphere or illusion that these characters are always living their lives somewhere, even if we don’t notice. I’m obsessed with documenting all that small boringness. The more i can pull out of myself, the better it feels. I feel like its a reward to get to see those things, and its the kind of attention to detail that often hooks me in when I experience other media. Its like, oh my god, i love this character fussing with a flashlight or looking for food at a grocery store. Tying their shoes. Fussing over their thoughts in a moment. These are things I cling to and want to take the time to mention. You can do all those in roleplaying without it being super distracting because its casual, but suddenly when its in the format of a comic it just-- doesn’t seem necessary. and it isnt. but thats why its such a treat to get it. But it also just stops being a treat when its constant, and instead, its all the time. Its just the normal standard. You’d think that make its loose its appeal... but for me i just, want more of it. Its really an obsessive hunger. I realized that i could do it this way in a comic and I never wanted it to stop. And i dont have to. That’s what makes it so cool but i feel like..im cheating at something by having so much..fun?
2) Meandering gives you plenty of fucking time to plan ahead. Oh it sure as fuck does. Oh my god. I am not even kidding. The satisfaction of feeling like I’ve got all my plans together because I spent hundreds of pages of my characters fucking around (sometimes literally FUCKING around) is amazing. I love just not having to worry about shit for a while because if i was hitting all these huge story beats at all the time, i think I would evaporate and miss out on just the slow, happy experience of getting to know my world so intimately and feeling very comfortable with how it unfolds. I sit and debate on things and Its like ahh, thank god I don’t feel a rush to get around to do anything. I love just being chill and drawing my characters walking around and doing fucking nothing but walking around and its like damn I could be walking around right now too, but I’m not. They are. What am i typing right now?
When exciting things happen in my comic, I love it. But i also love working by making basically mental buffer pages. Its like the camera kept rolling and following the crew around. Once again, basically ties into the “mundane” aspect, but it just gives a very nice satisfaction of not feeling rushed to do anything until its time to do it. personally, i think that if we are given more time with characters, even just by seeing there, we get a little more fonder of them. Like seeing a regular at a coffee shop or like, a video game npc bouncing around in the corner in the same spot for the entire game. They’re there and its a reliable landmark. Until it goes away. :)
3) Pay off. I’ve lulled you all into this false sense of mundane non changing-ism. Just think though. I could pull that fucking rug out at any time and all those little cute moments suddenly become very upsetting because that was all you got. It sucks now. See? I’ve manipulated you from the start and ive planted the little seeds in your mind-just kidding. everything is fine and no one will ever experience sad things in ffak. ONLY happy endings.
4) What’s the forth reason? Ummmmm....... I can take breaks from my own comic and then go into the past of the same story, or write about some random character... and then like. just do a totally different comic for a bit. and no one can say i cant do that, because if Its just what i wanna do you just.. get to see some of that. and i can extend one single day for as long as i want. i might just draw an entire chapter about sneezy the worm if i wanted. 600 pages of sneezy the worm. you want to hear about sneezy the worm? no? you want the main plot about the final feast? no fuck you.. im going to talk about sneezy now. that’s what you get. yesss. you look upset now but just wait, you’re gonna love sneezy the worm when I’m done and you cant escape caring about cute little worms no matter what.
So to wrap up today’s delirious ramblings 1) Its fun and i love small character moments 2) gives me plenty of time to write ahead and figure out endings lol 3) potential heart breaking pay offs when i change the routine 4) freedom to do whatever and write about whatever characters without a looming deadline or judgment from bosses. this is just what i love to do.
FFAK’s process is strange but I intend to enjoy myself as much as possible. I also think I’m very great because the longer i work the less ashamed i feel about my choices with writing and making it this way. its just like oh cool, i can do this and its not the end of the world if everyone doesnt like it cause I like it and thats what matters. and turns out, my happiness results in thousands of pages because I’m constantly self-motivated. So its fucking cool as shit and i love drawing. I love drawing more now in 2018 than i did when i was a teenager, or even a kid. Its so weird how much better and fun the experience has grown to be and I wouldnt trade that for the world.
Anyway thanks for reading. I’m drinking a frappichino. frappuccino. how do you fucking spell that.
-kosmic
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Rfa with a mc whos an idol with a really cute and bubbly personality and she really down to earth despite being a really famous idol with millions of fans?
@reader-chan13 said: RFA+saeran headcannons for the reaction to mc being a highschool idol (like shes famous and sings/dances really good and is a role model for other highschoolers) (ofc non romantic)
Because these requests are so similar, I’m combining them so it’s not too much of a repeat. I hope you two don’t mind! I’m sorry for the wait!
Yoosung:
•He knew who you were as soon as you entered the chat room
•HE’S SUCH A HUGE FAN
•He was honestly so surprised at how sweet you are when he first started talking to you
•He’s been to a few of your concerts, so he knew that you were kind to your fans, but he thought that you just acted like that on stage
•He had no idea that you were actually as sweet as you appeared to be on stage
•He’s super overprotective whenever a male fan approaches you for an autograph or picture
•He thinks of you as a younger sister, he doesn’t want anyone to make you feel uncomfortable
•Is always super proud whenever you come out with a new song or album
•He always reminds you to take breaks and to always eat, even though you’re busy a lot. He doesn’t want you to overwork yourself
•He’s super supportive!
Zen:
•I know I said something similar in the MC being in a rock duo hc I wrote awhile ago, but…
•DUET!?!
•He heard of you before, but it took awhile for him to realize that you were the MC
•He instantly becomes your biggest fan
•D •U•E•T•?•!
•He always tries to help you come up with song ideas
•Big brother mode™ whenever a male fan approaches you
•DONT TOUCH MC, THEY’RE STILL A MINOR, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING THEM YOU SON OF A-
•Zen
•C H I L L
•He’s honestly so surprised at how bubbly you are with all of the stress
•Zen knows first hand how stressful being an idol can be, so he’s really impressed at how you always seem so happy and bubbly
•He’s super supportive and proud of you!
Jaehee
•She’s a fan of yours
•But, like, she’s a hidden fan
•She doesn’t want to seem weird for being a fan of someone who’s ten years younger than her.
•But she does tell you that she loves your music! And she’s always super supportive!!
•She’s always making sure that you don’t overwork yourself, and that you’re happy with what you’re doing, and is always asking if all the fame is too much for you to handle at such a young age
•She tries to go in tour with you whenever she can to make sure you’re okay
•She loves that you’re always so kind and bubbly!
•Teen idols, and even adult idols, can come off as spoiled brats, but you’re always so nice to everyone! She loves it!
•Mama Baehee is a huge supporter
Jumin:
•DO YOU NEED A SPONSOR , I WILL BE YOUR SPONSOR
•DO YOU NEED A RECORDING STUDIO? LET ME BUY ONE FOR YOU
•He’s honestly really impressed that you can deal with fame so well at such a young age
•Jumin has met some teen idols before, and a lot of them turned out to be attention hungry brats, but you’re the exact opposite!
•It’s like a breathe of fresh air, because not only idols, but even other CEOs he met appeared to be brats,so he was really surprised at how nice you are when he first talked to you
•DO YOU NEED BODY GUARDS? I’M GIVING YOU BODY GUARDS.
•YOU DONT NEED BODY GUARDS? TOO BAD, YOURE GETTING THEM, ANYWAY.
Saeyoung
•Phhhfffftttt. Of course he knows who you are.
•Background check.
•He’s also a huge fan
•He may or may not have cosplayed as you to annoy vanderwood sshhhhh
•He always does background checks on the people that attend your concerts or fan meets
•"it’s just a small gig at a local park, Saeyoung-“
•"THE MAFIA COULD BE THERE, MC. WE CAN’T BE TOO PREPARED”
•"VANDERWOOD CAN BE YOUR BODY GUARD.“
•"I didn’t sign up for this”
•Tries to help come up with song ideas
•All of them are terrible
•"CAN YOU WRITE A SONG ABOUT A CAT WHO’S AN UNDERCOVER ANGENT WHO IS SECRETLY AN ALIEN THAT HAS TO DEFEAT AN EVIL ROBOT SQUID WHO STOLE ALL THE VOLCANOES IN THE WORLD TO USE THEM AS SUPER WEAPONS TO MAKE THE EARTH LIKE HIS HOME PLANET SQUIDLAND THAT WAS REALLY HOT AND WAS DESTROYED TEN THOUSAND YEARS AGO BY THE CAT ALIENS THAT ARE THE SAME SPECIES AS THE SECRET AGENT CAT BECAUSE SQUIDLAND TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE BECAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF TACOS BUT EVERY OTHER PLANET HAD TACOS BUT THEY WOULDNT GIVE ANY TO THE SQUIDS BECAUSE ALL THE SQUIDS ATE WERE TACOS AND THE OTHER PLANETS ONLY HAD SO MANY TACOS SO THE CAT ALEINS WHO WERE ALSO THE GUARDIANS OF THE UNIVERSE DESTROYED SQUIDLAND AFTER THE SQUIDS TRIED TO STEAL THE TACOS FROM CATLAND WHICH IS THE NAME IF THE CAT’S PLANET AND-“
•"Saeyoung, what the actual heck?!”
•I just gave myself a headache from writing that
•All jokes aside, Saeyoung is super supportive and is a proud mom.
•Wait what?
•Why did I write that?
•Eh, I’m keeping it.
Saeran
•"Cool"
•He could care less.
•As long as you’re happy, safe and take care of yourself he could care less what you do.
•"Just try not to fall off the stage"
•I couldn’t think of anything for Saeran I’m sorry
#mystic messenger#mysme#mystic messenger headcannons#mystic messenger hc#mysme headcannons#mysme hc#mm headcannons#mm hc#yoosung kim#mysme yoosung#hyun ryu#zen#mysme zen#mysme hyun ryu#mysme yoosung kim#mysme hyun#jaehee kang#mysme jaehee#mysme jaehee kang#jumin han#mysme jumin#mysme jumin han#mysme seven#seven#707#luciel choi#saeyoung#mysme 707#mysme luciel
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‘Thor’s’ Valkyrie is Marvel’s first LGBT character. But you wouldn’t know it from the film.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/11/06/thors-valkyrie-is-marvels-first-lgbt-character-but-you-wouldnt-know-it-from-the-film/?utm_term=.324108cd9947
(technically she would have been the first lgbt+ character in the movies, but the mcu already has lgbt+ characters in the shows, so it would be incorrect to claim her as the first lgbt+ chararacter marvel/mcu has hands down.)
Queer youth have long been drawn to graphic novels and comic books. For them, it’s more than a form of entertainment. Comics tackle the feelings of shame and not fitting in — feelings that queer adolescents know all too well.
Joey Stern is a founding member of the group Geeks OUT, a group dedicated to “celebrate our shared geekiness and to focus and promote our own unique LGBT voice within that community.” He is also leading organizer of Flame Con — New York City’s first LGBTQ comic convention. Before launching Flame Con two years ago, Stern told Slate: “When I was a kid I developed a passion for reading, and I loved the philosophical debates in comics like X-Men. I loved the message that you can be different, and special, but conflicted about that. Comic books gave me a way to see that in myself.”
This speaks to why queer readers are drawn to comic books, but also why they have been frustrated with the lack of LGBTQ representation in Marvel’s cinematic universe. The 17-film franchise has yet to feature a non-heterosexual character.
Tessa Thompson’s Amazonian-esque character, Valkyrie, in “Thor: Ragnarok”was supposed to change that. Valkyrie is a member of an elite group of female warriors dedicated to defending the citizens of Thor’s home planet, Asgard. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Thompson pointed out that Valkyrie is bisexual, citing Valkyrie’s “Fearless Defenders” storyline, which included a romantic tryst with anthropologist Annabelle Riggs.
Thompson went so far as to pitch director Taika Waititi on depicting her character’s sexuality more visibly. Apparently, Thompson convinced Waititi to shoot a glimpse of a woman walking out of Valkyrie’s bedroom. Rolling Stone reported that the director eventually cut the scene because “it distracted from the scene’s vital exposition,” which feels like a flimsy excuse at best.
Nevertheless, Thompson claims, “There were things that we talked about that we allowed to exist in the characterization, but maybe not be explicit in the film.
There are plenty of times in the film where Valkyrie could have easily made a reference or hinted at her sexuality without taking away from the plot or dialogue. I see it as an active choice to not include any reference whatsoever.
This wouldn’t be the first time a queer character has been straight-washed in films. The most recent, of course, is the Amazonian Princess of Themyscira. Just last year, at the ripe age of 75, Wonder Woman officially came out of the closet.
DC Comics writer Greg Rucka confirmed what many readers have long suspected: The Amazonian princess is bisexual. “Nobody at DC has ever said, ‘She’s gotta be straight.’ Nobody. Ever. They’ve never blinked at this,” Rucka told Comicosity.
Yet, there were no depictions of Wonder Woman as bisexual in Warner Bros.’ blockbuster film. This led New York University’s campus ambassador for GLAAD, which monitors LGBTQ representation in the media, to create a Change.org petition to portray Wonder Woman as bisexual in the highly anticipated sequel.
The petition, which has accumulated nearly 10,000 signatures, expresses why depiction of a sexual identity, not merely the claim of it, is necessary in the media.
“Some of you may be thinking that this specificity doesn’t make a difference but for people like me who rarely see themselves reflected in media, believe me. It does,” Gianna Collier-Pitts wrote in the petition.
She continued: “The majority of the LGBTQ+ community identifies as bisexual or as having attraction to more than one gender, and yet it is the least understood of any identity. We are oversexualized and underrepresented. … We are made to feel invisible and in doing so we begin to see ourselves as invisible. Making Wonder Woman canonically bisexual on the big screen would make her the first openly LGBTQ superhero of any gender from either DC or Marvel’s cinematic universes, and would solidify her place as a true role model for women of all ages and identities.”
That’s why it’s necessary to have more than Thompson claim her character is bisexual. LGBTQ audience members want to see it. While Thompson’s attempt to depict Valkyrie’s sexuality was admirable, the unfortunate outcome is queer-baiting. Marvel studios and Waititi are attempting to get the credit for having a queer character, without putting the studio or the film at risk. If there was a scene where Valkyrie claimed her bisexuality, kissed a woman, or even something less explicit — she could simply have made a passing reference to to a past female crush — that would have been enough for queer viewers.
But to claim she’s bisexual, stating: “We allowed [her bisexuality] to exist in the characterization, but maybe not be explicit in the film,” is simply not enough.
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