#i wrote descriptions for the whole collage and then it turns out

[opticor]

partial PE honkai eruption timeline aka i can’t believe HUA became MANTIS at 17

[image id: four collages of screenshots from honkai impact and supplementary comics, acting as citations and references for the timeline below]

roughly a year before PE 3E, KEVIN moves to Nagazora in the Far East (what we call Japan) where he meets MEI [Divine Key manga: Judgment of Shamash chapter]; that summer, six months before the eruption, she goes to an academic symposium on the MU continent where dr. MOBIUS spots her as an excellent candidate for a career in the MOTH evil scientist department [game chapter 17 act 2, ER Recollections: Good News, DK: Shamash]

the manga kinda makes it sound like KEVIN transferred 3 months before the eruption, but that doesn’t work with their bench conversation in chapter 17, unless MEI was scouted the year before they met; but as she already has a crush on someone when she meets MOBIUS, and allegedly wasn’t interested in that stuff before she met KEVIN, i think it’s simpler to assume she only went to the one the summer after KEVIN transferred to Nagazora

meanwhile, HUA begins her freshman year in Sapphire (a city in the east of Asia); she spends 6 months there, during which time she makes many friends, obtains many fashionable clothes, and celebrates her 15th birthday; the third eruption occurs on the day she is due to go back home [all game chapter 20]; HUA survives the initial eruption, is saved by HIMEKO, and eventually joins MOTH as some sort of regular soldier [game chapter 20, DK: Wings of Origin chapter]

MEI’s symposium in the summer 6 months before 3E + HUA’s birthday on february 9th place the eruption somewhere between february 10th and 28th, depending on how strictly we count HUA’s 6-month-long first semester at school (which likely started in september). personally, i think february 14th is the perfect date for a honkai eruption but either way it seems to at least add up to the same month as CE 3E [per the Azure Waters extras] which is neat because hi3 is a story about endless cycles etc.

3 years later, KEVIN kills the 6th herrscher [DK: Shamash]; within the next year, the 7th and 8th herrschers are also defeated [game chapter 20; also per the Second Key manga, Su joins MOTH about half a year after KEVIN killed HIMEKO, and the 8th herrscher manifests soon after]

a small discrepancy in the timelines: 2nd Key manga says it’s been 5 years since 3E while Shamash+ch20 add up to less than that; Recollections: It attempts to fix this (i think) by placing SU’s admission to MOTH at 5 years after SU and KEVIN last met instead (likely the time they saw EDEN in concert [Recollections: Chat History] which is some time before the eruption, possibly even before the bench scene) and yes this means that SU got his medical degree in just 4 years, probably because he’s very smart and motivated, but maybe also because they were already in dire need of medical personnel? i’d also assume this means that KEVIN, MEI, and SU were all in their final year of high school (i’m actually not sure if it was mentioned that they’re in the same year?) since at the very least SU, who lived away from the epicenter, would’ve graduated normally. if PE schools in the “Far East” were the same as schools in Japan now, perhaps disaster struck a mere month before MEI and KEVIN were to graduate :(

there’s no specific timeframe for 9E [mentioned in ELF manga chapter 2 and DK: Blankness chapter both of which are on the CN website but sadly only available as fan translation on mangadex], but the 10th ends 10 months after it [DK: Blankness] and HUA becomes a MANTIS 6 months after that [DK: Wings of Origin]

that’s at least 22 months between HIMEKO’s death and HUA’s procedure (but likely quite a bit longer if we assume between the 6th and 11th they were spaced about 6 months apart), which i don’t think anyone would round down to a year but even then it’s at least 5 years after 3E so to say HUA was 17 at the time would only work if she'd been a middle-school freshman, rather than high-school one

the birthday picture seems like a deliberate touch, and so does making her unnamed best friend Carole-shaped (Carole is 16 in APHO -- someone like the Olenyeva twins would work better as a middle-schooler classmate, or even Sora/Kuu-chan) so perhaps HUA was supposed to have been 12 at 3E when they wrote the manga, but they’d changed their mind about it by the time they got to chapter 20 in the game? now the one thing i really can’t explain to myself is why they made it a point that HUA changes from her school uniform (VA’s blue outfit) to the clothes “Carole” gave her (the Spring Traveler outfit) when she was going home, when the image of her cowering on the ground in VA’s outfit when HIMEKO saves her has been referenced in so many places!! what’s the point

“but if you can’t believe HUA was 17 how can you believe that she became MANTIS 6 months after 10E ended, these things are literally on the same page” idk beats me, one of these is just more compelling considering how scared mihoyo is of letting women be over the age of 18

i could believe Pardo was 16 or so when they MANTIS-ed her though, and Kosma was even younger probably. they of course didn’t need SWARA because when miho came up with it, Pardo and Kosma didn’t exist yet but! if you wanna have fun reconciling all the lores, we could perhaps assume that MEI gave HUA the SWARA treatment for some other reason than the one stated in Blade of the Empyrean :)

tl;dr of this is i think HUA was at least 20 when she became a MANTIS, probably 21; this doesn’t change anything about how effed up her story is, she still saw the horrors of honkai at a very young age, just, you know, mihoyo’s own timelines reveal the lies :^

[sunspire-knight]

I translated my old short fanfic from Russian to English (all by myself, without any translator, so I'm a little bit anxious to post it, but I really want to. Idk how to tag it, but, am–)

❗️cw/tw: smoking, alcohol, internal homophobia, self-hatred❗️

short description: USSR 90s AU with my special interest, characters from Skyrim, my Dragonborn Zendar (Zakhar for this AU) and Marcurio (Mark for this AU), his husband. I wrote this fanfiction on his behalf. Men who love men in the post-soviet space very often face internal homophobia and hate themselves for their feelings towards men. That's why Mark is struggling here, but probably that's just because I enjoy writing painful stuff about queer people–😭

━────────────━

collage by me!

and the song which I was listening to while writing — for the atmosphere✨️

━────────────━

I wrap myself in my cheap coat, my feet freezing in autumn boots while I stand in the snow and wait for a marshrutka. It is going to take a while for it to arrive in this snowfall, but I will wait. I will freeze, but I will wait.

Somewhere on the other side of the road, among the rows of Khrushchevkas and panel houses, there is a light in the window of Zakhar's apartment. He is probably drinking his favorite tea with three tablespoons of sugar as usual, and watching the Spartak vs. Dynamo game on TV. I wish I could be with him now, not to watch football, not to drink tea with him, but to lie with my head on his lap and finally relax. I have not been able to relax for a long time.

I am lying in the bath without water, right in my clothes, looking at the ceiling. I turn on the water. I do not adjust it — it pours a little warm, a little yellow from rust in the pipes. The plaid shirt sticks to my body, the trousers too. I throw my legs up on the wall and lie there until my back starts to hurt. I do not want to think about Zakhar, but he gets into my head. I hate him. I hate him so much.

I drink 'forty percent' from a faceted glass. I wince — I hate vodka, as I hate Zakhar. I drink to muffle my thoughts. I smoke until my eyes are blurred, get drunk and fall to the floor. I vomit and crawl to the toilet. While I am throwing up, I feel like I am spitting out my own lungs along with my guts. Bile and vodka are bursting out of me. I feel very sick.

Muska is running around, meowing anxiously. Your owner is an idiot, Muska.

Exhausted, I lie down on the bed and light up again. How angry Zakhar would be at me right now... I smoke a whole pack, cough and feel how my chest aches. I understand that I can not do this anymore.

And so I live week after week, distracted by forced trips to the university, to work, trips to the store. I am indifferent to the world. And disgusted with myself.

Zakhar will not leave me alone in any way. He calls me at home, tells me something for hours, and I sit with my legs tucked up on a dusty armchair, listening to him. His kind voice on the phone, and it is so hard for me to remain calmly silent. It is hard not to shout anything superfluous into the phone. In Zakhar's voice, they tell me something about sports, about the district news, about what the old ladies in the entrance of his house are talking about, what is happening in our country. I do not care. My lips are trembling treacherously, and I clench my teeth tightly so that if I start talking, Zakhar will not hear weakness in my voice.

But now I am still standing at the snow-covered stop. My marshrutka drives up, I jump into it like into a black abyss, grab the handrails and shake off the snow. Behind my back, again, "Pass the fare, comrade" — I pass it on. I am not sitting down, I am going out soon anyway. It is not that far from Pervomaiskaya to my stop.

Here I go. The snow hits my face again in large flakes. Damn December. But the New Year is coming soon, right? I see colored lights in people's windows. Everyone is scurrying through the streets, happily chattering like jackdaws. Every year I manage to miss the moment when the general commotion begins. Zakhar will probably call me soon, as usual, and invite me to celebrate. I will agree. I will sit in his kitchen, drink coffee, stare absently at the television interference, and listen to the chimes, wondering what will happen next, in the coming year. There is fun in the next room, and Zakhar will invite me to join them. I will submit, I will enter the living room. Some guy, recognizing my face and remembering my last name, will jokingly call me some slurs, and I will not care. Zakhar will pour something for me. I get drunk easily and quickly, so soon, after half an hour of uncontrollable laughter at stupid jokes and attempts to joke back, I will fall asleep in the corner of the room like a hopeless alcoholic. Every year it happens somehow like this. The same movies on TV, the same holiday.

Probably, this New Year will be about the same. That is just it... with Zakhar, everything will be more difficult.

I walk further along the road covered with soft snow, winding along courtyards and entrances. A cold wind blows between the concrete boxes. The snow wipes away my shame like washing powder. I take a cigarette out of my pocket again, take a drag and smoke for a long time, looking at the fragment of the moon in the black sky.

There is a hard and bloody war going on in my heart. It does not seem so crazy out here in the cold, but when I am alone in the apartment, I know what it is like. I know what it is like to forbid yourself to feel. My dear Zakhar Demidov, you have always been so kind to me and always called me your best friend, and I... I destroyed it all. I am sorry, Zakhar. Sorry. I did not know that I could love too.

I throw my cigarette into a snowdrift and hide in the entrance, walk up the stairs to my apartment on the second floor, rush in, throw off my coat, take off my heavy boots, sink to the floor and remain silent, burying my shaking hands in my snow-soaked black hair. I do not understand how I allowed myself to do this. I do not understand. I do not want anything. I do not want to live, think, eat, or sleep. I do not want to realize that I am alive. From the feelings inside, everything hurts and is torn to pieces. I clearly know that love and I are incompatible things.

Realization rolls in slowly, incrementally, like an avalanche descending from a mountain. Me, who lives in the gangster nineties, on the edge of a cliff, where the Soviet Union ends and nothing begins, blackening with a terrible abyss. Me, who was born after the war. Me, raised with forced ideas of family values. Me, who never found the meaning of life, which, in fact, does not exist at all, and never did... It is all me. I am Mark Hoffman, born nineteen fifty-seven, educated and, it seems, not a stupid person, but in fact a complete idiot. Because I fell in love with someone who I was not allowed to fall in love with.

Zakhar will come to me again. He often comes in just to chat and play with the cat. He says he likes my company. I am going to pretend like nothing happened again. To look at him, hating myself and my stupid heart. To lie to his face that I quit smoking. To discuss newspaper clippings with articles about the decaying West, where for two men to love each other is no longer something shameful. I will laugh about it and say, "It is hard to believe." But, it is interesting... What will Zakhar think?

And I do not hate him after all. I love him. I love him too much to forgive myself for that.

━────────────━

It was definitely MUCH better in Russian, but I hope at least someone will like it–

[serenescribbles]

Trust is a Two Way Street Part 8

This was posted yesterday on AO3 and this is me transferring it to Tumblr.

Yet another chapter posted on my phone. I'm coming home tomorrow so I should be posting from my computer again soon.

CW: Talks of loneliness

AO3 | Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 7 | Part 9

一

In the next coming days, life went on for Marinette. She woke up, attended classes, did her homework, went to the gym, went on patrol, and repeated the cycle again and again.

There wasn’t anything different per se from her normal schedule, however, Marinette just couldn’t help but notice the empty gap in her life that needed filling. The gap left by Jason.

Sometimes, almost like coming out of a daze, she would find herself rereading all of Jason’s previous texts, as if that would make the fact that he wasn’t here with her less noticeable.

Other times, she would be either cooking dinner or setting the table and noticing that she’d cooked just enough for two to share, or that she’d set the table for two.

And on some nights, when she’d come home late from the library, Marinette half expected someone to be sitting on her couch, scaring her, asking her why she’d been gone out so late.

Patrol also just wasn’t the same anymore. There would be times when she’d just finished taking out a crook or she busted some huge deal, and then she would turn to talk to someone, only to find no one there.

In short, she was just missing Jason. However, as quickly as Jason had left, Tim had filled that whole quite fast. But, it just wasn’t the same.

With Tim, she was the older sibling. She was the responsible one. She needed to be strong for Tim.

Although Marinette knew Tim tried to support her just as much as she did, there was just some sort of unspoken rule that the older sibling would always be more mature, more understanding, easier to rely on than the younger one.

It was a great responsibility that came along with having a younger sibling. Not that it was bad, or that she hated Tim, it was just, Marinette missed having someone to depend on.

But you may be saying that she could have relied on Dick, but it wasn’t exactly easy reaching out to him, as she found his warm and happy persona a bit too similar to how she used to be, before things ruined her life. Plus, he lived in Blüdhaven, meaning he didn’t come back to Gotham a lot, seeing as he was busy protecting his own city.

There was no way she’d unload all of her troubles onto him and become yet another burden he had to carry. She was better than that. She was fine managing things on her own. Definitely.

However, there would be some nights where the loneliness was just too unbearable, and Marinette couldn’t resist going into Jason’s room and wrapping herself in his sheets, or hugging his pillow, or even stealing a shirt or two from his closet, all to get a whiff of his familiar, grounding scent. But it quickly became apparent that this didn’t always work as the days Jason spent away from her apartment grew bigger, his scent faded faster.

It was then that Marinette remembered an assignment she’d had to do for an art class a long time ago.

For the assignment, she had to describe her life in colors, how she felt every day, how others made her feel, and so on. But all of her descriptions had to be a color. In the end, they were to take all the colors they’d used to describe their life and put them together in some form of art.

Marinette remembered that for Nino, he’d mixed together a couple of beats and added some lyrics from songs that included the colors he’d used to describe his life and then he edited all of it to create a mixtape.

While Alya had taken different clippings from her favorite news’ reports and printed them out onto multicolored paper and glued them together as a collage.

Nathaniel had painted something while Marc wrote a poem using different inks for each word.

Rose had taken some perfume from her vast collection and sprayed them on a piece of paper which she’d also glued different colored flower petals to.

And Mylène had taken the beads she’d put in her hair every day and strung a necklace from them.

When Juleka had presented hers, it was a collection of different shades of black, purple, and dark blue nail polish.

Who knew there were so many?

Anyways, Alix had created a mural with spray paint and Kim created a sort of ball with different scraps from the different swimsuits he’d had over the years.

Max had created a robot friend for Markov using different colored legos and finally, she’d designed a dress out of all the bright and happy and warm colors she’d used to describe her life.

Marinette felt a bit of pride when she remembered the grade she’d gotten on that assignment. 100%. Mr. Monlataing had praised her dress so much that even now, she still blushed just by thinking about it.

Although before, the colors she’d used to describe her life were vibrant, bright, and warm, now, if she were to redo her assignment, they wouldn’t be like that.

Now, the only color that Marinette would use to describe her life would be gray. Dull, boring, utterly normal gray. There was no color to her life. Jason was the one who’d shown her color in the first place. And now that he wasn’t here, it was only natural the color would fade, too.

With a frown on her face as she thought such thoughts, naturally, she was startled when she heard her phone ringing.

Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Searching far and wide for her phone, Marinette finally gave up and plopped down onto her couch, only to find her vibrating phone stuck in the cushion of it!

Struggling to get it out of that tiny crack, Marinette finally got it out and saw that the Caller ID was Tim.

Picking up the phone call, before she could say anything, Tim said in an urgent tone, “It will happen tomorrow night.”

“What?” she answered back, unintentionally whispering since he was, too.

“Batman, Nightwing, me, we’re going to come visit you tomorrow night. I figured I’d give you a heads up.”

“Really?”

Though she couldn’t see him, Marinette could practically feel Tim nod his head. “Yeah, but I need to go now. I snuck off to call you. If I stay any longer, they’ll begin to suspect me. See you tomorrow.”

“W-wait!” Marinette called after him. But Tim had already hung up.

Slumping down, Marinette lay her phone face up onto the coffee table in front of her and sprawled across her couch.

Pouting to herself, Marinette thought, ‘Stupid Tim! You can’t go dropping bombs like that onto people and just hang up!’

Although she thought that, she was still grateful that Tim had given her a heads up so she wouldn’t be surprised tomorrow night.

“Haah,” sitting up, Marinette ran her fingers through her hair frustratedly and ended up messing it up. She was getting anxious now.

How was she going to sleep now?

Nevertheless, if she wanted to be in her best condition for when she finally met the Bats tomorrow night, then she needed all the sleep she could get.

Standing up from her position on the couch, Marinette put her pink, fuzzy slippers on and trudged all the way to her room, yawning the entire time.

一

This is just a filler chapter so the next should be more exciting…

I'd like to give BTS a special thanks for keeping me focused while posting this! 💜💜💜

[ssixa]

Chance Encounter//Mark Tuan x Y/N

Description: Walking into the night shift at the hospital proves to keep you on your toes. Nights are left to the universe so you can only hope that tonight will be decent. What happens when you find out that one of your patients is THE Mark Tuan from GOT7? how do you try to deal with the chaos erupting from this chance encounter? and how many times do you have to tell yourself that you love your job?

Genre: fluff, slight cringe, idol au

Pairing: Black Fem Reader x Mark Tuan (though I will say there isn’t much description of black characteristics)

Word count: 995 words

Warning: explicit language

A/n: yet again I’m working and uploading this while I’m in the middle of lecture. Nothing crazy to add though. Ngl that I’m actually kinda satisfied with how the collage turned out this time.

*All pic collages are made by me unless I state otherwise. Individual pictures in the collage are not mine and I give credit to where credit is due.

Chapter Four

A whole week passes by and it was just as uneventful and repetitive. My life is really basic, all I ever do is work and go back home (until school starts, then it’s just school, work, and home). I attend my other part time job and deal with a bunch of Karens (both male and female) who refuse to wear their masks, getting asked a lot of questions that I have no idea how to answer, so and so forth. The weeks always pass by quickly since all I do is work, so I wasn’t surprised that at a blink of an eye, I’m back at the hospital. Nothing different happens when walking into work at the hospital...well accept for almost tripping over air walking out of the parking deck. We’re not gonna talk about it.

When I reach the front desk, one of the nurses gets my attention,

“Hey y/n, there’s a note here left for you. Must be from the manager” she mentions. I’m not that taken back since the manager has left notes for me before. I walk to the desk and grab the slip. Like always, my name graces the front of the folded paper. I open it and start reading,

“Dear y/n,

I was hoping that I would have the chance to keep in contact with you after our short, yet memorable, encounter. Though I can’t promise we would ever cross paths I decided to just not leave everything up to chance (you don’t seem like the sappy type to believe in such shit). Anyways, hope to hear from you soon!

Love, your soon to be favorite member, Mark”

I couldn’t believe it, Mark wrote me the sweetest little letter AND he left me his kakao contact. Is that even allowed? Won’t he get in trouble? Maybe his manager gave him permission, but even then it’s such a big risk. Forget it, this is probably one of the best things that has ever happened in my life.

Though the anticipation is there, I wasn’t able to contact Mark until Monday morning. Yes, I know, over twenty four hours, but it was torture not being able to message Mark for that long. Both the shifts were ridiculously crazy and by the time I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. When Monday morning rolled around, I added Mark’s contact and spent a little too long pondering on what my first message should be. Then it came to me, why am I freaking out about this when we’ve met before and have held full conversations with each other, this shouldn’t be difficult. Ok, here we go,

“Hi...it’s y/n, um, your tech” I message.

…

“Who is this? I think you have the wrong contact” the reply came only after a few minutes that felt like hours.

“Oh god he doesn’t remember, wow, I guess it was all just too good to be true” I think-panic to myself.

“OMG I’M SO SORRY!! MY FRIEND GAVE ME THEIR CONTACT AND I GUESS I ADDED THE WRONG ID!!!” I reply in a haist.

“OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT HAHAHAHA!!” Mark replied. I could just imagine him laughing hysterically by himself. I really hate him.

“I hate you so much Mark Tuan.” I surely hope he sensed my anger through that message.

“Oh, no more mr. Tuan? I kinda liked it” I sense the smirk through the message.

“You lost the privilege once you stopped being a patient Mark, you weirdo” I message back.

“Ooo with the insults, I thought we were more than just patient and tech” Mark replies. My heart sped up a little, but then I realized who I was talking to.

“Well I thought you were just a patient who got bored and I happened to be an easy target?” I sassed.

“Fair enough, well how about this, ‘y/n the tech’ will you be my friend?” Mark asks.

“Hmmmm~”

“Oh c’mon y/n, pplllleeeaasseee” Mark begs. Oh do I like the sound of that. He’s always teasing me so even if this is a fake beg, I’ll still take it.

“Oh fine, yes Mark, we can officially be friends” I reply.

“WOOOOO!!”

“Unfortunately I only just got off of work and I don’t think I can stay up much longer” I mentioned.

“Awe really? Well I understand. Get some rest, don’t forget to dream of me” he replies with a winking emoji.

“Trust me, if I could control my dreams I would much rather choose my bias than you’re annoying ass” I reply sassily.

“Ooooo~ so you have a mouth on you too. You’re just full of surprises huh? But imma have to tell JB that, I bet he would be happy to hear it coming straight from a fan’s mouth...well...kinda” he said with a slyness.

“I really hate when I type faster than my brain processes, I’m going to regret this later won’t I?” I reply with a sigh

“Oh most definitely, but don’t worry I won’t tell him. We’re friends right? I don’t want to start off on a bad foot” he said with confidence

“Well aren’t you sweet, hahaha but really thanks. I would much prefer to be friends with all the boys. I’m really not over how I’ve gotten to talk to all of you and even be able to call you my friend. Hopefully we can all get closer...wow that sounds cheesy, sorry” I message with my heart on my sleeve. Wow, I’m really making myself vulnerable with him. I definitely know I’m going to regret that.

“I’m glad we got to meet each other too even if the circumstances were a bit hard. Who knew I would run into ‘fan turn to friend’ in the most unlikely of places...btw didn’t you say you were going to sleep? That was like an hour ago?” he mentions

…

“y/n?”

…

“My new friend?” he continues,

…

“Sleep well beautiful”

“*message deleted*”

“Sleep well dummy”

Previous/Next

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A/N: thanks for reading chapter 4! sorry that this isn’t the traditional way of doing text message convos when you’re writing them, but hopefully it still makes sense. 

[skamandallthat]

Less Than Five Minutes (Part 6/?)

You guyssss... you guys you guys you guys. Thank you so much for everything. Hope you enjoy <3

As always, this is also up on Ao3 so head on over if you'd rather consume this there!

--

Matteo can't focus all day. No matter how hard he tries.

David.

I have something I want to show you, replayed in his mind. David’s shaky voice. The sound of his swallowing. The silence.

David.

He barely moves from his bed, only getting up to grab an apple around three. He can hardly eat, hardly think. The night before runs through over and over in his head.

Makes this easier.

Sure does. Matteo can't help but spin. He contemplates getting a beer out of the fridge. No.

It may be easier like that but he can't fall down that hole again.

So he just sits. He plays his game for a while, checks his phone. Hans barges in at one point with some playful description of something but Matteo doesn't hear him. All he hears is ringing.

And then a buzz.

To: Matteo

From: David

I'll be over in 30.

Matteo panics, shooting out of bed. He runs over to his mirror and groans. Why didn't he shower? Why did he wait around all day? The ringing comes back. Make do, he tells himself.

He grabs one of David’s beanies that he had left there recently and puts it on. Grabs a hoodie to cover up his wrinkled shirt. He rubs his hands over his face, hands landing on either side and pulling down. He looks just about as horrible as he feels.

Since when did he care what he looked like?

Since David added stakes. Since David reminded him of what he'd been trying to hard to forget. Since he was confronted with his worst fear:

David could never see him that way.

--

The apartment buzzer rings. Matteo walks over. Answers.

“You coming?” David yells through the intercom.

“Ya.” Matteo replies.

--

They bike and they bike and they bike. Matteo just follows. He has no idea where they're headed, nor does he want to know. The speculating about where they're going keeps him from speculating about what David wants to show him.

The strenuous biking isn't helping the fact that Matteo can't breathe today anyway.

Can't breathe lately.

May never breathe again.

And then suddenly David’s slowing.

They aren't… anywhere. They're outside the city, on the outskirts of some small forest Matteo didn't even know existed.

But of course David did.

David knows everything.

Except the thing Matteo wants him to know most.

He hops off his bike.

“Where are we?” Matteo asks.

David doesn't say anything. Just purses his lips and nods behind him, signaling Matteo to follow him. His eyes are bright. He looks both sure and unsure. Matteo follows.

--

They walk for what feels like hours. Stealing glances. Shoulders grazing. David has his hands in his pockets for the most part, only removing them every once and a while to take out his phone and snap a picture of some plant. A cool rock. Animal’s footprints.

Matteo toes at the ground as he waits.

It's awkward.

Things are rarely awkward between them. Tense? Sure. But awkward… that's just something that's never happened. He's not sure what to do with it.

David draws him out of his head.

“Over here.”

Matteo finally looks up. He'd been staring at the ground the whole walk. The view in front of him is beautiful. Stunning. Trees upon trees lit up by the stars. Dreamy. Wonderful.

Nothing in comparison though, to how David looks right now. The chilled night air has given his cheeks a red tint. His hair is sweaty, messy. He looks like a dream.

Matteo wishes this was a dream.

It's both too close to and too far away from everything he wants.

David turns to him with a gentle smile. “Come sit.”

There's a large rock to the right of them, the trees around it somehow parting just perfectly so that it's lit by the moon. It feels like a spotlight. He's drawn.

They make their way over and sit atop it. No one says anything for a bit.

Suddenly David draws in a sharp breath. He looks down just slightly. His eyes close, and he takes a breath. It looks like a preparation. For what? Matteo can't get his lungs to do their job.

David turns towards his backpack. He unzips the big pocket and pulls out his journal.

Matteo had seen some of David’s journal.

The first time they hung out, David had been rifling through his things and Matteo stopped as he saw a wrinkly leather journal peak out.

“What’s that?” Matteo had asked.

“Uh…” David looked at him, searching. He smiled hesitantly and then said, “My journal.” He looked down. “My art.”

“Show me.”

David had looked at him with wonder. He had obliged.

Matteo was absolutely floored.

David was so talented that it made his heart hurt. The drawings screamed help me and love me and want me and it was then that Matteo knew that's all he wanted to do.

Help David. Love David. Want David.

He sure had mastered the last one.

From then on David would show him a drawing here or there. A poem he wrote. A snippet from a script for one of his movie ideas.

The amazement never wore off. Each time Matteo saw a new creation of David's he was just as astounded at the first time.

David never stopped being shy about it. Matteo never stopped trying to give him reasons not to be.

But now.

Now David looked terrified. His hands shook as he grabbed the journal out of his bag and held it in his hands, turning it over and over again. He sighed.

“I made something a while ago…” He started. David looked up, at the sky, shaking his head. Matteo stared, noticed the sheen of tears lining his eyes. Why? Why is he so scared? He should never be scared with me! He should know that by now. I want him to know that.

“Hey.” Matteo said. David turned his head to look at him, but closed his eyes. “You're safe here, please know that.”

David’s shoulders fell. He opened his eyes. Matteo wanted nothing more than to add “I love you” at the end. But he couldn't. Not now.

...Not ever?

“I know.” David said. It was hardly audible, but there. He took another breath. His hand moved across the front of the journal, rubbing. As if he was marking it as his own, one last time. Matteo just waited.

David opened the book. Turned the pages to somewhere in the middle. Matteo didn't look down. He wouldn't look down until David told him to. Told him it was time.

Suddenly the journal was being handed to him. Matteo grabbed hold of it and locked eyes with David in question, who nodded.

Matteo looked down. His heart stopped.

It was so intricate.

A two page collage of drawings.

Drawings of him and David, of every milestone they'd had so far.

Matteo couldn't breathe. They were all the same moments that Matteo went back to in his mind whenever he needed a reprieve.

The first time they met.

The first time they talked.

The first time they hung out.

The first time David stayed over.

The first time David ran away.

The first time Matteo told anyone he was gay. When he told David.

The first time they laughed until they cried.

The day David came out to Matteo as trans.

The 'you’re my favorite thing right now' day.

Every one. Every single moment Matteo had bookmarked, David had as well. Tears started to well up in his eyes as he moved to the text at the bottom.

'I want to be around you. All the time. I'm sorry. You're my favorite thing too. But that's all I can give you right now.'

Matteo’s thumb passed over the text again and again. He read it over and over. He felt David's eyes watch him, take it all in.

His heart exploded into a thousand fragments, aching, burning. Through his chest into his limbs. His face went numb.

But that's all that I can give you right now.

He turned his head to David, who looked so...bare. So there and with him and honest and hurting that Matteo couldn't hold it in anymore. He closed his eyes and the tears poured out.

David moved his body towards him, gently, softly, resting his forehead against Matteo’s. Matteo took in a deep breath and opened his eyes.

“Is that okay?” David asked. Whispered.

Is that okay? Matteo had waited for this for what felt like forever.

To be shown the real David.

The honest one.

The David he knew but had little proof of.

...It was more than he ever expected from him.

All he ever wanted.

“Yes.” Matteo replied quietly, nodding. “For right now.”

David leaned back and rested his hands on either side of Matteo’s face. His thumbs swept across Matteo’s cheeks, wiping away the tears. He took a deep breath. His shoulders softened. He looked lighter than Matteo had ever seen him.

“Okay.” David whispered back.

And Matteo thought it would be. For the first time in a while he thought things might be okay. He had some hope, something to really hold on to. Not passing. David couldn't take this one back.

But what now?

What do you do when you're given a for now. A for now that churns you from the inside out?

What do you when you're offered everything you ever wanted, but it's offered as a 'later’.

A maybe. Not concrete.

Enough, but just barely.

Less than five minutes. In less than five minutes he'd received exactly what he had wanted... but without a promise.

David was honest, finally.

Matteo knew him, finally.

But what now?

Is it smart to hold onto something when you've been warned not to? Been warned it might not stick around?

What now?

[silver-wields-a-pen]

Tag game: 11/11/11

Tagged by @hyba ^=^

1. If you had to choose one color per OC, what would they be? Nyima: Blue Ghenha: Yellow Voon: Green Belias: Red Eren: Silver Ji-hoon: Teal Yueliang: Lavander Ndiaye: Rainbow (it counts) Anna: Charcoal

2. Do you enjoy writing at a desk or on your bed / couch / floor / etc.? I prefer writing at the table because my back hurts otherwise

3. Tell us anything you want about a current WIP / OC! Thaw: I’ve written about six different “final battle” scenes for it and there’s a joke to that effect in chapter 25. Brotherhood: My fave thing about all the boys is how they start off as unlikable assholes and through the power of character development turn into decent people — but they couldn’t do that if they didn’t have it in them in the first place to be decent, it just takes someone caring enough to point out the obvious.

4. What’s one way, in your opinion, to effectively describe a setting that is completely imaginary so that readers can also see it in their minds? I get together general images of what I want. Like, when I needed to describe Tan Shun’s apartment there wasn’t an exact image that had all the elements I wanted and others I need for scenes I’ve already drafted. I put together pictures that made up the whole how I liked it and then gave it a single decorative style in the description. For fantasy locations it’s not much different. If you can image search the main elements you want to describe then collage them and build the rest of the room or area around it. So, if you need a glade with a tree. Find a picture that fits how you want your tree to look and then fill the other details around it.

5. What are some favourite words of yours? Snicker: It’s one of those amused sounding words that isn’t quite a laugh, but doesn’t sound sneery or mocking either, like snigger does. Quip: Fast paced banter or joking. Makes me think the person quipping is whip smart and wears a constant smirk. Lover: Cute, a bit old-fashioned, but definitely no hiding what that person is to the other.

6. What are some things you notice when you first start reading a story? (Do you look at the diction, the writing style, the dialogue, the descriptions, etc.?) I like strong characters. Especially strong women, and not just in the sense of them being in charge, but emotionally and mentally strong. These are women who aren’t going to fold in a stiff breeze, but they’ll still take help when they need it. They don’t hate men or think they don’t need them. They’re the kind of women who know they’re everyone’s equal and don’t need to prove it. Besides that I can’t help noticing grammar, but I ignore it because I’m not being paid to pick holes in people’s writing, unless they pay me, or ask nicely lool

7. What’s one scene that has been very hard for you to write? Frozen: Caleen’s miscarriage and her sister-in-law’s death killed me and just thinking about it makes me tear up! Frozen Flame: The scenes with Gehail were kind of tough because it’s hard to balance writing how insane she is and make her come across reasonable. Thaw: The backstory with Sylmy and Ifrit wasn’t pleasant, but I think I rushed it, so that’s going to get another go over when I edit.

Brotherhood: Nothing so far, since I’m only two chapters into Divinely Volatile and the other books are just random scenes. I’m expecting things to get tough when I get to the middle and all the mystery comes undone.  

8. Do you have a favourite OC? Frozen: Caleen. She’s Nyima’s mom and I adore her. She’s tough, badass, doesn’t give up even when the odds are stacked against her. She loves her tribe, family and baby with her whole heart and deserved better than the story I wrote. Frozen Flame: Nyima. She’s my bby. Thaw: Belias. He’s a fire demon, so the total opposite of Nyima and I love the contrast their personalities have. He’s a saucy bamf and knows it.

Brotherhood: Overall I just love Ji-hoon. He’s a cynical asshole who’s over pretty much everything. At the same time he’s also throwing a big why me pity party. He’s a mess and I adore him. 

9. Favourite music to listen to while you write? I don’t listen to music most of the time because it stops me thinking of the right word I want. When I’m writing specific scenes, I use theme music and repeat it until I’m done. For Nyima’s epic entrance in Frozen Flame I had the intro to Final Fantasy: Type 0 on because bby is dramatic af and it fit the mood. I’ve had a few different final battle songs for Thaw, which might explain why I’ve got so many drafts loool

10. What is one genre you don’t think you’ll ever want to write and why? Horror. No thnx. Don’t like scary.

11. Do you share your writing on a platform other than tumblr? Ao3 has most of my fan fiction. I also signed up to beta books, but I don’t have any readers yet. 

Questions: 

What, in your opinion, are the most important elements of good writing?

How do you do research?

When you’re writing an emotionally draining (or sexy, or sad, etc) scene, how do you get in the mood?

What is the key theme and/or message?

What was a highlight point?

What is your writing kryptonite?

What’s your go to writing snack?

Would you kill off a major character for shock value?

Favourite type of scene to write?

Pantser or plotter?

What’s an interesting thing you’ve learned while researching?

Tagging: @illthdar @whimsicallytwisted @raylenequinn @els-writes @scottishhellhound @mvcreates @aslanwrites @soul-write @focusdumbass @waywordwriter @ghoulei

[lo-lynx]

Power relations in His Dark Materials

TW: racism, eugenics, sexism, ableism

Spoiler warning: The main His Dark Materials novels, minor spoiler for La Belle Sauvage.

In the His Dark Materials novels power is a quite a central theme. Who has power, what do they do with that power, how can you fight power? This is of course also salient in our own world, which is why social theorists have been trying to explain power and power dynamics pretty much as long as social theory has existed. In this text I therefore want to look at some of these ways of explaining power and see if they can tell us anything about the universe of His Dark Materials (focusing on Lyra’s world). This will also dovetail with an analysis that I wrote a while back of the Nordic influences on His Dark Materials, especially regarding the history of racism and eugenics in Sweden and Scandinavia in general. Reading that text is not necessary to understand this one, but in the end of it I wrote:

Another thing I want to highlight is the comparison between the severing of children and dæmons, and sterilisation. In the books, children’s bond to their dæmons (their soul) are severed by the GOB [General Oblation Board] in order to prevent “Dust” settling on the children (Pullman 2007, 275). Dust is considered dangerous and sinful, something that according to the church started infecting humans after their fall from the garden of Eden. Sterilisation in our world, on the other hand, took place in order to make the population “cleaner” and of “better” stock. Groups who were in different ways considered degenerate were targeted, including women who were perceived as promiscuous/sexual transgressors. In Lyra’s world a spiritual connection is severed by the Church in order to curb sinfulness. In our world a biological connection is severed by “scientists” (in collaboration with the Church at times) to control sexuality and reproduction. There is a definite similarity here. (Lo-Lynx 2019)

In this text I want to further that argument by analysing the way sex, gender, sexuality and power functions in Lyra’s world. I want to thank the lovely gals over at Girls Gone Canon for helping inspire me to write both of these texts, and especially with this one because when Eliana mentioned Foucault in their latest episode a light went off in my head and I knew that I had to write this analysis (Girls Gone Canon 2019).

So, Foucault. Michel Foucault is perhaps one of the most influential theorists in contemporary social theory. His stuff props up everywhere. That unfortunately does not mean that it’s easy to understand. Here I want to explain some of his theories and concepts, and then apply them to the universe of His Dark Materials. One of the theoretical works that Foucault is most know for is his analysis of the history of sexuality (in the Western world) (2002). Foucault writes that contrary to the popular belief of sex being oppressed and tabu, people have always talked about sex, just not always outright. For instance, he writes about how admitting one’s sexual actions have become institutionalised first through confession (in church) and later by explaining ourselves to doctors/psychologists/scientists (Foucault 2002, 77). By confessing we feel that we become free, our secret truth has been let into the light. Foucault also claims that through these institutionalised confessions we contribute to the discourse about sex: “One pushes the sex into the light and forces it into discursive existence.” [my translation] (Foucault 2002, 56) Part of this discourse is that if we understand the “truth” about sex, we understand the truth about ourselves (Foucault 2002, 80). Sex is in this discourse considered a vital part of who we are. Now, what exactly does Foucault mean by discourse? Discourse, according to Foucault, describes the way society talks about a phenomenon but also how it does not talk about said phenomena (2008, 181). What is left unsaid. What is possible to say. Foucault also describes discourse analysis as a scientific method and claims that by analysing discourses one can understand why one statement was made in a situation, and not another one (2013, 31). He also claims that when we can see similarities between different statements, we can find a discursive formation (ibid, 40). Further he also writes that when analysing discourses, one should analyse who speaks (who has the authority to speak), from which institutions the discourse gains its legitimacy, and which subject positions individuals are placed in (ibid 55-57). Which position a subject is placed in effects their ability to inhabit different spaces (ibid, 58). Now, in his writing about discourses, Foucault mostly saw power as something unpersonal. Power existed in power relations between individuals in the discourse, and the discourse affected how individuals acted. Power as something unpersonal was a view that he kept, but in later writings he would analyse it further.

So, how does this apply to His Dark Materials? Like I explained previously, I see a definite parallel between how the Church/the Magisterium in Lyra’s world approach Dust, and how sex has been viewed in our world. The Church explains Dust by linking it to original sin. In their version of the Bible, when Adam and Eve eat from the apple of knowledge, they do not only become aware of their nakedness, their demons also settle (Pullman 2007, 358). And when demons settle (in puberty) Dust starts sticking to people. This can be compared to how the church of our world during the 5th century started propagating that the reason for human’s expulsion from the garden of Eden was because they had fallen prey to carnal desire (Mottier 2008, 19). Therefore, intercourse was tainted by original sin. In this way Dust is both linked to forbidden knowledge, sex, and sin. Like sex in our world, Dust is something that the Magisterium feel the need to investigate even though they find it dangerous and sinful (Pullman 2007, 361). If we use Foucault’s theory here, this is understandable. If Dust is a result of original sin, then it explains the inner nature of humans. Just as sex is considered to be a secret truth inside of us, Dust can be considered the same in Lyra’s world. Dust is something sinful, something that needs finding out, so it can be destroyed. But, when the scholars of Lyra’s world investigate Dust, they need to be careful to not commit heresy. I think heresy in this case could be considered to be the limit of the discourse. When scholars and others discuss matters of science and theology, they constantly need to act in relation to what would be considered heresy. Now, in our world the limits of discourse usually aren’t as overt, and at least in democratic countries you won’t be punished in the way the scholars risk being punished when they commit heresy. But in the way certain characters challenge the discourse around Dust, we can see what Foucault might call a discursive struggle. On one hand we have the discourse around Dust that gains its legitimacy from the Magisterium. On the other hand, we have challenges to this discourse from for instance Lord Asriel. He doesn’t have the same sort of legitimacy as the Magisterium of course, but in the beginning of The Golden Compass when he has his presentation at Jordan Collage, he tries to make his views legitimate by presenting scientific evidence (Pullman 2007, 26). Here one could say that he tries to appeal to the legitimacy of science, which seems appropriate when talking to scholars. Asriel here resist the power that be (the Magisterium), but he also resists the power in the discourse. Just as Foucault says, where there is power there is also resistance. It is through just these kinds of discursive struggles that Foucault sees society changing. Yet, the scholars of Jordan are notably scared of the Magisterium finding out about their part in this resistance. This leads us in to another theme in Foucault’s writings that I want to explain: surveillance.

One way that Foucault furthered his theoretical exploration of power was through did his writing on surveillance. He explains how surveillance works in modern society by likening it to a prison where one guard can observe all the prisoners from a guard tower, but where the prisoners can’t see the guard (Lindgren 2015, 357). Therefore they can never know when they are under surveillance. He calls this a panopticon, based on the description of such a prison by the philosopher Bentham. Foucault claims that the result of this is:

Hence the major effect of the Panopticon: to induce the inmate in a state of conscious and permanent visibility that assures the automatic functioning of power. So to arrange things that the surveillance is permanent in its effects, even if it is discontinuous in its action; that the perfection in power should render its actual exercise unnecessary… (Foucault 2012/1975: 315)

That is to say, the prisoner feels like they are constantly under surveillance, even if this is not actually the case. In that way the prisoner will obey the powers in charge, so that practical/physical power is not necessary. Foucault claims that this is the case in society as a whole; we know that we could be under surveillance all of the time, and therefore we behave in accordance with that (Lindgren 2015: 359). This turns us into docile bodies that can be used productively in society, since we unconsciously behave like the power wants us to (even when the power isn’t a clear individual or group). Other writers have also used Foucault’s theory on surveillance and his concept of docile bodies to analyse how this affects the gendered body, specifically the feminine body (Bartky 2010).

In Lyra’s world this surveillance is perhaps even more overt than in our world. People are seemingly very aware that their every move could be watched by the Magisterium. This theme is even more present in Pullman’s novel La Belle Sauvage that also takes place in Lyra’s world (Pullman 2017). I won’t spoil that novel too much, so I won’t go into that theme further now, but parts of it very much paints society as a panopticon. Now, what consequences does this have? Well, it mostly makes most people in Lyra’s world just go along with what the power wants. Some does it because they are aware of the constant surveillance, others have internalised this surveillance and does it unconsciously. One aspect of this that I want to explore further is the way it effects gender and gender expression in Lyra’s world. In the chapter in The Golden Compass when Lyra first meets Mrs Coulter, she contrasts Mrs Coulter to other women academics that she has met (Pullman 2007, 69). In comparison to them Mrs Coulter seems refined, glamorous, precisely what a woman in Lyra’s world should be. Women should be pretty, and, tellingly Lyra thinks the female scholars are both boring and less fashionable. The materiality of the body is here connected to other assumptions of gender, such as women scholars being less accomplished than men. In the patriarchal world of His Dark Materials, women who try to integrate themselves in male institutions are very frowned upon. Later, in The Subtle Knife, when Lyra has learned that all that glitters isn’t gold (such as golden monkeys), she still has this internalised view of what a women’s body should be like. When she has to find new clothes to wear and Will suggests some pants she refuses, claiming that girls can’t wear pants (Pullman 2018, 56). Here she has internalised the surveillance of the power structure that effects how women will behave. No one from Lyra’s world is there to tell her that she, as a girl, can’t wear pants, she monitors her own behaviour. This is just one example of many where one can see how the constant surveillance makes people in Lyra’s world, just as our own, internalise that surveillance.

One final part of Foucault theories that I want to explain is the concepts of biopower and biopolitics.  Foucault writes that while at previous times in history regents such as kings and queens have had the power over their subjects’ life or death directly (such as by capital punishment), today the state’s power more lies in the power to support lives or let them perish (Foucault 2002, 137 & 140). He describes our current time as one of biopower, where the state controls our bodies to make them as efficient/productive as possible for capitalism (ibid, 142). Foucault also writes that because of this, norms has in part replaced the law, or rather that the law has become the norm, and therefore people doesn’t always have to be threatened by legal consequences in order to behave (ibid, 144). A state that wants a productive population doesn’t want to have to threaten them with death every time it wants to control them. This can obviously also be thought of in terms of the panopticon and surveillance that I described above. But Foucault also writes that since sex is considered so important in society, that is also one of the most controlled things (ibid, 146). This control takes place both on a micro level by doctor’s appointments, psychosocial tests etc, and on a macro level by statistical measurements etc. If this sounds similar to the way eugenics tried to control the” health” of the population, that is no coincidence, Foucault cites this as the most extreme example of these biopolitics (ibid, 148). It might also be worth noting here how other theorists has expanded this by writing about for instance “the bio-necropolitical collaboration”, and how inclusion or exclusion of certain bodies/people in society indirectly produce life and death (Puar 2009). Certain bodies get support to live and thrive, while other bodies (such as disabled bodies or bodies from the global south) is not considered worth to invest in.

Now, if we have established the link between Dust, sex and sexuality, then we could apply Foucault’s analysis of biopolitics on the Magisterium’s attempt to control Dust. In the Golden Compass we can see this through the General Oblation Board’s work on severing children, to make them not infested with Dust (Pullman 2007, 275). Like I’ve previously mentioned, one can see a link here to sterilisations, one extreme form of biopolitics that are aimed at controlling the sexuality of the population. It is also interesting to note here which children, which bodies, are being experimented on. Like I established in my other analysis, this is mostly lower-class children and children of ethnic minorities. This seems like a clear example of how the bio-necropolitical collaboration that Puar writes about decides which bodies should be protected, and which are disposable. Another example of biopolitics can be found in The Amber Spyglass when The Magisterium tries to prevent Lyra from being an Eve 2.0. Like Mrs Coulter says:

My daughter is now twelve years old. Very soon she will approach the cusp of adolescence, and then it will be too late for any of us to prevent the catastrophe; nature and opportunity will come together like spark and tinder. (Pullman, 242)

They need to control Lyra’s blossoming sexuality in order to control Dust, and the possibilities of free thinking. Mrs Coulter prevents The Magisterium to take control over Lyra, because as she says:

If you thought for one moment that I would release my daughter into the care, the care! , of a body of men with a feverish obsession with sexuality, men with dirty fingernails, reeking of ancient sweat, men whose furtive imaginations would crawl over her body like cockroaches, if you thought I would expose my child to that, my Lord President, you are more stupid than you take me for. (Pullman, 243)

Here we again see the connection between controlling Dust and sexuality, specifically female sexuality. Such a focus on female sexuality often existed within our world’s eugenics as well, since women were often seen as the reproducers of the nation (Mottier 2008, 90). Statistics show that 90% of sterilisations being carried out was on women in both Switzerland and Sweden. As Mottier writes:

Female bodies were a particular source of eugenic anxiety, as indicated by the gender imbalance in the removal of reproductive capacities. Reflecting traditional associations of reproduction with the female body, women were also seen as particularly important targets for the eugenic education and state regulations that eugenicists called for. As sociologist Nira Yuval-Davis has pointed out, ideas of the ‘purity of the race’ tend to be crucially intertwined with the regulation of female sexuality. (Mottier 2008, 92)

That it is specifically a girl’s sexuality that the Magisterium wants to control seems depressingly fitting in this light.

So, in conclusion we can see that the Magisterium considers Dust to be something that needs to be controlled. This partly happens through discourse, partly through surveillance, and partly through biopolitics. In many ways we can see how this parallels the way sex/sexuality is conceived in our world. Now, I’m not sure how much of this was deliberately put there by Pullman. Perhaps he didn’t intentionally make Dust a metaphor for sex/sexuality. But the way he connects it to original sin, puberty, temptation etc, makes me think that at least some of it was on purpose. Lyra’s world is not that different from our own after all.

  References

Bartky, Sandra Lee. (2010). “Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Pathriarcal Power.”, pp. 64-85 in Weitz, Rose & Samantha Kwan (eds). The Politics of Women's Bodies, New York: Oxford University Press.

Foucault, Michel. (2002/1976). Sexualitetens historia 1: Viljan att veta. Translated by Birgitta Gröndahl. Göteborg: Bokförlaget Daidalos AB [This is the Swedish translation of L'Histoire de la sexualité I : La volonté de savoir/ The History of Sexuality I: The Will to Knowledge]

Foucault, Michel. (2008). Diskursernas kamp. Eslöv: Brutus Östlings bokförlag Symposion.

Foucault, Michel. (2012/1975). ”Discipline and Punish”, pp. 314-321 in Calhoun, Craig, Josepth Gerteis, James Moody, Steven Pfaff & Indermohan Virk (eds), Contemporary Sociological Theory (3rd edition). Malden, MA: Wiley-Blackwell.

Foucault, Michel. (2013/1969). Archaeology of knowledge. New York: Routledge

Lindgren, S. (2015). ”Michel Foucault och sanningens historia”, pp. 347-372 in Månsson, Per. (eds.), Moderna samhällsteorier: Traditioner, riktningar, teoretiker (9th edition). Lund: Studentlitteratur.

Lo-lynx. (2019). “The Nordic influences in His Dark Materials” Accessed: December 1, 2019. https://lo-lynx.tumblr.com/post/189230180712/the-nordic-influences-in-his-dark-materials

Mottier, Véronique. (2008). Sexuality: A Very Short Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press

Puar, Jasbir K. (2009). “Prognosis time: Towards a geopolitics of affect, debility and capacity,” Women & Performance: a Journal of Feminist Theory, 19:2, 161-172

Pullman, Phillip. (2007/1995). Guldkompassen. Stockholm: Bokförlaget Natur och Kultur [this is the Swedish translation of The Golden compass]

Pullman, Philip. (2018/1997). The Subtle Knife. New York: Scholastic.

Pullman, Phillip. (2001). The Amber Spyglass. New York: Random House.

Pullman, Phillip. (2017). La Belle Sauvage. New York: Knopf.

[xcenj]

Critical Reflection

Throughout the last eight weeks, the Fashion Promotion Year 2 class have been given the opportunity to revamp PXL Agency. The class was divided into five groups: Branding, Research and Development, Website and PR, Editorial and Events. For this project, I was a part of the Website and PR Team. As a collective, we decided to divide our team into two separate groups; Website and Social Media, whilst as a whole agreeing on all final outcomes.

My role within Pixel Agency was to help create and design the new Pixel website as well as reach out to influential creative industry players and produce content/story ideas for Instagram. I put myself forward for the website sub-team, as I had never made a website before and was eager to further my knowledge and skill range. The beginning of the project was very daunting, as time was limited despite our huge responsibility. After listening to informative guest speakers week after week, I have learned that confidence and persistence are key in all creative professions. Unfortunately, I regret not taking the opportunity to ask guest speakers more questions and seek further insights. On the flip side, I’m really happy that this module allowed the whole class to work together, as I have made new bonds with class members I didn’t speak to before. Overall, this experience has taught me time management, networking, how to build a portfolio, teamwork skills, and consistency.

Eager and ready to learn I attended a private tutorial with Amy Bruce, in order to understand the basics of Squarespace. During Amy’s private tutorial, I had the pleasure of meeting Cyrus, the web designer for Pixel’s website last year and quickly exchanged contact information in case my team had questions about Squarespace along the way. Before we could start designing the website, I suggested to my team leader Karolina that a new Google Drive for PXL be created. In our drive, we had a clear folder for class members to upload their work. Despite having this folder we constantly had to nag the class to upload their work. As a group, we would use the work to create collages for our social media feed. I imputed to the process by drawing storyboards four at a time of what each page of the website should look like. In order to keep every aspect of the website on brand, a member from branding would oversee the drawing plans and adjust if need be. These drawings provided a clear structure and plan for the team to follow. As a group, we wanted everyone’s headshot to be uniform and continuous. To achieve this we successfully organised a time effective shoot, unfortunately some members of the class were unable to attend and didn’t feature on the website. This is a real shame as we all worked so hard. I took lead on the projects page by picking and uploading the strongest work generated by the whole class to show off Pixel at its best. With the help of others in my group, we were able to link the projects back to the individuals about us page. For part of my own page on PXL, I decided to turn my marketing reports into GIFs in order to show continuity within the design. As Pixel is a communications agency establishing connections between tastemakers, it was crucial for the PXL website to have a blog section. The blog section was available for all class members to feature. I wrote a blog post to inform creatives of the latest exhibitions around London with a brief description of what work and installations were featured.

Throughout the whole process, I am very impressed with how much our group conversated within our WhatsApp group chat. However, at times I felt as if our group had no clear structure. If I could change one thing about the whole process it would be the black background on the website. I was very vocal on the fact that the black background doesn’t bring out the best in everyone’s work and can be too dark, gloomy and contrasting. Another improvement would have been for our the social media sub-team to post more engaging stories with advice on how to better your CV and how to get an internship as we had all just come back from placement. As a group, we discussed taking inspiration from Instagram pages like ‘Find Your Intern’.

Leading up to the event, I noticed that the Social Media sub-team hadn’t invited many followers, influencers or industry moguls. During the week leading up to the event, I took it upon myself to send an invite to as many VIPs as possible. To try and attract the general public, I created a free open event post on Eventbrite for more traction. As a group, we could have improved our PR strategy and branched outside of just Instagram. I did suggest that we take advantage of Ravensbourne’s facility to use Fashion Monitor and email some press offices but received very low morale from my group that they wouldn’t come to our event. That being said some of the PXL invites I sent to Dazed via Instagram did receive positive feedback and a few RSVPs.

At the event, I wanted to be as hands-on as possible. During the first hour, I had learned that the flyers for the event hadn’t been delivered on time and weren’t going to arrive. However, I did not let the terrible news deflate my energy, I grabbed PXL stickers and headed to the streets to get the public through the doors. During my allocated leaflet time, I made my way to Shoreditch in attempts to draw in an artsy crowd, stopping everyone on my way. At the event, I met a lovely lady called Raquel Maillo who explained the importance of not giving up. I now feel better knowing that interning in several different places will eventually pay off. Nonetheless, I’m disappointed in myself as I should of networked with more industry figures.

At the start of this module, I began updating the aesthetics of my Curriculum Vitae and Cover Letter. Both are now sleek and modern, reflecting my style of design. As LinkedIn is such a vital tool to communicate with employers in regards to internships, it must be regularly updated (LinkedIn profile https://www.linkedin.com/in/cameo-johansson-706716151/). I constantly message people with job titles I would like to pursue to question what route they took to get where they are. Throughout this project, I have developed my online profile through the means of a visual blog. I use the blog as a sketchbook to post visuals that influence me. I have noticed an increase in my Tumblr followings and reposts, which inspires me to urge on. Offline I have made myself available to help out at industry events where possible, in particular a GQ styling masterclass workshop. After the masterclass, I networked with creatives such as Angelo Mitakos at London Fashion Week Men’s discussing the possible opportunities of interning. I would love to secure a placement over the summer with a company that will further push me out of my comfort zone.

I am still trying to discover my niche is in the fashion industry. As much as I loved learning how to create a website, I can happily say it’s not a career path I wish to further pursue. I believe that my personality and skill set would work better within a communication role for example Events or Editorial. Therefore if PXL was a real communications agency, I would be happy with a salary of 21k per year as an Events Co-ordinator.

Numerous triumphs left this experience: the Branding team executed a strong identity and dossier from the very beginning, the Research and Development team worked very hard to produce an informative on brand research pack all about Generation Z and X, the Website and PR team created a fabulous aesthetic website and Instagram, the Editorial team created unique campaign imagery for content and promotional banners and lastly the Events team pulled off a venue, a bar and two sponsors (MiiRO icecream and Press Juice London) Overall, I think the class has done a spectacular job, working to include everyone’s different aesthetic can be really challenging. However, in the end, we pulled off an amazing packed industry event with a website launch and clear synergy between all assets in the short space of time.

[secondbalcony]

It’s time to read-again my bad but correct essay about Vampire Weekend’s lyrics from 2010:   ‘Just give it to us straight, Ezra Koenig. Are you saying rich girls deserve their money, or are you saying rich girls are dumb whores? Do you taunt the 57% of America that can’t take real summer vacations, or do you mock the 43% that go on holidays? Was “Mansard Roof” an endorsement of roofs or an anti-roof satire? The Vampire Weekend wars are about class, maybe, but they are also about classification: the lyrics in Contra keep trying to do things we don’t allow pop lyrics to do. We can all adore Jean Renoir (prepschool kid, Popular Front activist, had a rags-to-riches dad) for making films that treat the rich with worship, scorn, anger, affection and grief, but apparently we’re not gonna let a pop album get fancy on us like that. Books and films are supposed to confound us with layers of ideas and conflicting emotions; pop lyrics need to fess up or shut up. So Koenig pleading that his lyrics “aren’t ‘about’ anything but have levels of meaning” can come off like someone yelling “Checkmate!” in the middle of a poker game – obnoxious or confused or both at once.  There’s Ezra Pound and then there’s Ezra Koenig and the whole way that we talk about pop lyrics is about not getting these mixed up. But if I have to choose between Vampire Weekend and the logic of our pop-talk I choose the Vampires. Partly because Vampire Weekend can be kind of great, and mostly cause really I hate the logic of our pop-talk: outside pop-talk, in the actual reality of writing, listening to, and reading language set to popular music, artsy lyrics are as much a part of pop as the distortion pedal.

Since at least the ‘60’s (early Kinks, late Beatles, “The Velvet Underground And Nico’) pop songs have been awesomely and miserably Warhol-damaged, Joyce-Damaged, Brecht-damaged and Dada-damaged. If you love these damages you call them avant-garde and if you hate these damages you call them Art School, which is fair enough— people do become artsy in Art School. But the point is that the last 150 years of trying out new ways to make meanings in art made a big impression on a lot of kids, and a lot of these kids started bands. And other, younger kids who couldn’t care who Gertrude Stein was get the virus listening to Patti Smith and Bowie and the Pixies, and sometimes one of those kids turns out to be Kurt Cobain and then weird abstract lyrics infect the entire pop bloodstream. And the Wu-Tang Clan weren’t nothing to fuck with either. But the way that we talk about pop lyrics never caught up. Because pop-talk is lazy about lyrics, and discussing lifestyles takes a lot less effort than discussing writing styles. It’s easy to profile the Godard-affectations of liberal arts youths, and it’s harder to ask what a “Week End” fixation might say about a band’s approach to sense and nonsense and ideas and images. And if you hate Godard films in the first place, then the easy way is better—but I love Godard films so I’d love to find a little bit of “Week End” in my pop.

Most of what Contra is up to owes more to traditional novels (Waugh, Fitzgerald) than to weird films or experimental poetry, but the whole thing lives or dies on the natural liberties of avant-damaged lyrics: abstraction, collage, contradiction, self-reference. Koenig doesn’t string his crisp, descriptive sentences into narratives but stacks them in layers. Which is beautiful and resonant and complex, and also means that Contra can’t do anything to stop you if you want to believe it’s a country-club anthem. So music critics Googled for the price of Wolford Tights and compiled lists of vacation destinations, but never asked themselves why does this pool-party-album keep compulsively referring to The Clash. Or why do songs that start with “every dollar counts, and every morning hurts” end with a trust fund, and songs about holidays flash to Iraq. Or why it’s called “Contra.”

“Contra” talks about conflicts a lot—small and comfortable ones at first, like wanting to be rich so you can buy the modern art that you don’t want rich people owning (‘White Sky”), or loving your self-made-man father but hating the cultural myth that this kind of success represents (“Dad was a risk taker/ his was a shoemaker”). We also get all sorts of breakups between Koenig and rich girlfriends, and arguments with girls and music-critics about class, and a couple of political and sexual identity-crises. But what really puts the “contra” in Contra is the things that Koenig does with words: On “Horchata” it’s the way that Koenig rhymes “drinking horchata” (road trips, multicultural culture, left-liberal college kids) to “foot on Masada” (Birthright Israel trips where they tell Jewish kids to marry Jewish). On the break-uppy “I Think Ur a Contra,” it’s accusing the ex “you’re a contra” (you’re a hater), and then accusing the ex “you’re not a contra” (you’re not a revolutionary), and then defending —from the ex? from critics?—with “don’t call me a contra” (don’t call me anti-revolutionary). All throughout Contra words fight it out with each other or divide against themselves. Even the punk song “Cousins” is a hissy fit that self-destructs with wordplay: everything Koenig is yelping works both as a rant against posh music critics with self-righteous attitudes and as a hysterical caricature of the Vampires themselves. Koenig sings “You, greatest hits 2006, little listmaker” and you can’t tell if it’s an insult for a critic that made the list (wrote the list) or for a Vampire that made-the-list (got listed).

Which is kind of the point that the repeating chorus of “Me and my cousins and you and your   cousins…” is trying to make—that personal animosity requires a whole lot of common context. Vampire Weekend can get pretty bitchy when it comes to critics who demand to hear them tell rich people to go fuck themselves, but Contra is obsessed with punk and politics in its own terms. You don’t call an album “Contra” and then pack it up with references to The Clash unless you’re aching for a face-off with Joe Strummer’s angry ghost. And every time the shadow of The Clash shows up to haunt the lyrics (“Taxi Cab,” “Diplomat’s Son,” “I Think Ur a Contra’) Koenig gets dead serious and apologetic, and melancholically tries to explain why he can’t do heroic political anger. Koenig is in love with being in the middle— all “You’re not a victim, but neither am I” and “Never pick sides, never choose between two, but I just wanted you”—and honestly he’s doing a good job there. If you’re going to occupy a middle ground in life, then it’s a great idea to use it for creating nuanced, fragile songs about how politics and love and money interact while also constantly reminding us about The Clash.’

[henlobeautiful]

New Moon in Leo Ritual

Description:

The New Moon is associated with new beginnings and new projects. This is amplified with the Leo focus, which is good for creative activities and risk taking. For this ritual, we will be combining these aspects into a manifestation powerhouse! We will do so using the idea of a vision board, so be ready to get crafty!

Materials:

Any tools you may want for cleansing/security

Paper or a notes app

Items to make a vision board (either old magazines or even just access to the internet and Microsoft Word will do! Or if you aren’t a visual person, maybe items to write a song about your goals or something similar).

Part 1: Cleanse/Secure

As with any ritual, begin by cleansing and securing your space in whatever way works for you. 

Cleanse your space of anything that may distract you. This could even be mundane in cleaning your space to make you more focused or perhaps turning off electronics to give the universe/your spirit guides/the Moon/etc your full attention. Some popular methods include using cleansing herbs (not White Sage or Palo Santo please), sound cleansing, or “sweeping” unwanted energies out.

Create a circle of protection/safety by whatever method is preferred by you. Some ways to do this if you don’t already have one can be by tracing a circle using herbs, crystals, salts, or something similar or by simply visualizing a ring around you that grows with each breath. Now would be the time to invoke any spirits, deities, or other forces that you would like to help guide you during the ritual. If you would like to provide any offerings to these guides, now would also be the time to do so.

Part 2: Set your Intention

Alright now let's set our intention. Here's some music to guide you if you want a little boost for tonight!

Since this New Moon in Leo involves risk taking and new creative activities, try to think of a new activity you’d like to try. This could also include an activity that isn’t entirely new, but something you haven’t fully committed to. Personally, I’d prefer a somewhat short-term goal when doing lunar planning in the hopes that my goal comes to fruition with/before the Full Moon, but you can choose any goal length you wish. Write down this intention either in your notes on your phone or on a piece of paper that you can reference during your goal duration.

Part 3: The Basics of Manifesting

So now we will begin with some of the basic principles of manifestation. For those that already know the basics, feel free to skip this section as it’s mostly informational.

You may have heard a version of this in witchy communities as ~manifestation~ like a glamorous concept as well as a term called the Law of Attraction. In reality, it is a method for success largely inspired by Hermetic, Hindu, and (mostly in the original Hebrew) Christian beliefs, although most religions have some minor concept of this. Even non-witchy people practice this as a form of attaining success, especially in the business world. There are a lot of thought processes on this, but this is the method that makes the most sense to me as an amalgamation of a few takes on it.

Most everyone can agree that there are three essential parts to the Law of Attraction in terms of manifestation:

Identify what you want (aka your intention)

Put your will into what you want with your whole person

Allow it to happen to you and believe that it will

There are a lot of tips, tricks, and methods for the Law of Attraction that you can find online that I could spend hours diving into, but to keep it short I’ll provide some of the most important tips here.

✨Start changing your outlook towards a more

positive mindset. Even moreso, try to be the best

person you can be each day by doing what you

believe is the morally right thing to do. Even if

you struggle with mental health as many of us

do, these can be done by just simply

acknowledging that your feelings are only

temporary and will soon pass to make way for

new and brighter moods. Try to be high on life! ✨To bring things to you, try acting in the present.

By this I mean try phrasing your intention in the

present as well as acting like you’ve already

achieved it. Phrase your intention like “I am

getting rewarded with a raise” instead of “I want a

raise”, which both keeps you from “needing” the

universe and promotes a healthy level of

determination. As for acting like you’ve already

achieved it, the idea behind it is similar to “fake it

till you make it”. If you act like you’ve achieved

your goals already, it makes it easier to achieve

them while you work on them. ✨Work hard towards your goals, don’t expect them

to happen. However to balance this, remember to

go with the flow and allow the universe to reward

you with your successes. ✨Try to focus on your intention as much as

possible. Just like the last tip though, there is a

balance to this since one shouldn’t obsess over

their goals/intentions or become desperate for

these to happen. ✨While working on your goals, Shadow Work or

Energy Work may help you through ruts since the

universe all flows on the same energy, even that

which flows through you! The idea is that by

working on the flow of energy and betterment

within yourself, you could allow the energy of the

universe to reach you more easily and reward you

with what you’re asking for.

Part 4: Visualization Exercise

For those that already knew the basics, now is a good time to jump back in.

So now that we have the basics out of the way, let’s work on visualizing our goals. Imagine you are walking along a calming place in your mind where you can be your most you. Allow yourself to relax in this space and get into a mindset where you can explore yourself as well as your goals and creativity without judgment. Picture a creature or entity entering your space in a form of something or someone you would consider empowering. It can be any creature that most suits you. What is your creature? Feel free to write down any descriptions of them that you have. Mine, for example is a lion (sort of coincidental with the New Moon in Leo theme but shhhhh lol).

The being asks you about your intention. Why is this what you desire? How will this benefit you on your way to being your best self? If so, why do you consider this the best version of yourself? Will this goal impact any other goals (perhaps long term goals)? There are no wrong answers here. The being doesn’t judge you, but moreso asks out of curiosity. Write down your answers for you to refer to later.

The being nods, trying to understand your intention. They offer you their hand. When you take it, you see clearly everything you need to accomplish to achieve your goal. Write down what you see.

The being offers to allow you to achieve your goal immediately. If you were to accept this proposal, what are the first things you would feel, see, hear, or otherwise experience? Write down any sensations that would occur right after you would achieve your goal/manifestation.

Thank the being for showing you what you need to do. Let your experience with them guide you to envision your goals more clearly to inspire you.

Part 5: Vision Board

Now we reach the fun part of the ritual! Here’s where you can do whatever method of creativity you’d like to create a vision board of sorts that reflects your intention. For a physical board, you can cut up old magazines or print pictures from the internet and glue them to a piece of construction paper or cardboard. You can create a digital vision board using a collage/moodboard program, a Pinterest board, or even something as simple as a PowerPoint slide or Word document turned into a collage. You could even use a nontraditional “vision board”, like writing a song, painting a picture, or some other creative outlet that reflects the future you want to manifest. As long as the method makes sense to you, the world is your oyster!

Spend as much time as you need on this step. You can reference the internet for inspiration if you get stuck. Try to incorporate elements that you wrote down while visualizing your interaction with your creature/entity. Incorporate elements of your past (why are you pursuing this goal?), present (what do you need to do right now?), and future (what will you experience when you achieve it?) into your vision board. If you have noticed the pattern for this and would like to supplement a divination method or use it in addition to the experience with the creature/entity, then that is also perfectly fine!

Part 6: Close

Start to examine any excess energy you may have. You can use this to make some moon water charged with your intention from tonight, or proceed straight to grounding. There are many methods for this which may work better for you. Some examples are visualizing roots coming out where you touch the Earth that pull the extra/unneeded energy through your body downwards to be absorbed by the Earth, going outside and walking around barefoot to connect to the Earth and again absorb excess energy, or even mundanely become more aware of your surroundings by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 method (noticing 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste).

Now also be sure to center the remaining energy. This can generally be done by visualizing the leftover energy in your fingers, arms, legs, head, and toes flowing into the middle of your body, where it can be easily accessed by all parts of you.

Thank any deities you may have invoked for working with you and close your circle by however method you prefer (visualization, walking counterclockwise, etc). Thank yourself for giving yourself this time and think of ways to appreciate your surroundings/stage in life going forward.

Thanks for participating if you did! I will be sharing my vision board on this blog once it is complete.

Sources:

Example Vision Board 7 Laws of Attraction 7 Laws of Attraction Blueprint 7 Laws of Attraction from a Hypnotherapist Manifestation Tips New Moon in Cancer Associations Vision Board Tips What Phase is the Moon in?

[dachi-chan25]

Riverdale Meta? Theories?

So @lostinafictionaluniverse made some amazing questions about the finale and what’s to come to next season, and this is my attempt at guessing/figuring out the answers so here I go:

-Who the fuck was Cliff Blossom doing business with in Montreal?

A: Well I think it’s pretty obvious it’s Hiram Lodge (aka Daddy Dearest) not only because FP’s comment to Hermione in episode 8 but also for the conversation Archie overheard at episode 9 where Penelope and Clifford mention then were the ones who sent him to jail and when Hermione and Ronnie discover the Blossoms sent a monthly income to Hiram.

Now my prediction as to what was the business about I think it was something crooked but not the drugs, my guess is that Hiram tríed to play Clifford as he did with Ethel’s dad (and probably many others) but being just as dishonest as him, Cliff managed to turn things around and send him to jail, or maybe they really were partners and Clifford dug up some shit on Hiram and sent him to jail to have the business all to himself.

-

Why the fuck did Cliff Blossom kill Jason? (yeah yeah I know – bcos Jason wanted to expose his business, but I need more than just a narrative that emerged!)



A: So a theme very prominent in the Blossoms (and in Hal Cooper who is also a Blossom xD) was the legacy and the importance of keeping the name of the family in a high and important place, Cheryl was the black sheep because her parents see her as someone that causes trouble (too volatile, too emotional, too needy, in resume weak) in contrast they have their golden boy: Jason. Penélope gives a pretty accurate description of the father-son relationship they have on episode 12: “He (Cliff) was grooming Jason to be his heir!” that’s pretty telling tbh, she didn’t say ‘he was his son’ or ‘he loved him’ but make an emphasis on Jason’s role in the family and their status quo among the Blossoms that we also get to see on episode 9 with their sticky maple ritual and the whole coven/vampire from Twilight look from the board an insight about the Blossoms as a family, as soon as Jason was dead they came to Riverdale to put pressure on Cliffy-boy to choose a new heir among them, that’s why they put on the whole Archie/Cheryl power-couple façade, to mantain the highest position among the family/business/

Now we have Jason, who was dating Polly (that bothered Hal more than the Blossoms of course because ‘ewwww incest’ but the Blossoms see it as ‘those babies are more pure Blossom than anything’ #I’m kinshaming you Penelope) which was not entirely good with his parents (they still don’t like the Coppers) but it’s really inconsecuential and they don’t try to separate them at the beginning, until Jason tells them Polly is pregnant at that moment they cared about their image and of course this wasn’t in their plans! Jason was supposed to finish school, go to collage and then take over the business, what do they do? Well according to what we’re told by Polly and her statement to Sheriff Keller they ordered him to break up with her, and he did (but I think he did so to pretend and gain some time to come up with a plan) for a short time, then they got engaged in secret with Nana Rose as their witness/supporter, I think by then he already had the idea of faking his death, but everything goes wrong, he ends up dead and Polly with the Sisters of the quiet Mercy.

Now in FP’s statement he says Jason went to him for a transport and money, which concides with what Trev tells to Betty in their ‘date’ Jason distanced himself from his friends at school and started selling his things, now I think as careful as Jay-Jay might’ve been, Penelope or Clifford were bound to notice the missing stuff and the wierd attitude, from there it was easy to suppose why, and that’s when Clifford confronted him, we know from Cheryl this was the day before they faked his death at the Sweetwater River, by then I guess Jason was too confident about getting away that he told his dad the things he always wanted to say but never dared in resume I think he told him he wasn’t going to direct the company ever, and not only that he threatens to expose him (the drug business) if he doesn’t let them (Jason and Polly) get away

I think Clifford had someone spying on Jason, and from there he knew about his plan of eloping and of his deal with FP, at frist Clifford confronts him to try to convince him not to let down the family and all that jazz, but when Jason refuses and on top of that threatens him, he loses it.

He indirectly warns the Coopers about Polly’s plans, and trusts that Hal’s hate and Alice’s need to keep up with appearances will keep Polly out of the way, he kidnapps Jason and takes him to the basement of the bar (we know Mustang was his acomplice) there he makes Jason spill the beans about how much he knows/what prove he has/ whom else knows about daddy’s secret business (in the video Jason was in pretty bad shape but I don’t think it was Cliff I think Mustang was the one to 'soften the boy’ for the interrogation) I’m thinking at this point Clifford was still giving him the chance to put this whole thing behind and retake his place as heir and maybe even help him support Polly or some other shit, Jason refused and Clifford was running Out of options, he couldn’t keep Jason there forever, and couldn’t let him get away and expose him, also every one in town already believed him dead, they even had a funeral for him! So his only option was to kill him.

I think he decided to do it himself because he thought a Blossom can only die at the hands of a Blossom, and it works as a parallel for grandpappy Blossom killing his own brother.

Why the fuck did he kill himself? (consumed by guilt and shame – yeah, yeah – tell me something I can believe)



A: Well what options did he have? Either way he was gonna loose the business and go to jail, the family would be let in disgrace, he killed himself, I think, to preserve the little pride he had and in that way he wouldn’t had to face the consequences for his actions, I mean can y'all imagine Clifford Blossom in jail? That pretentious fuck wouldn’t be able to endure it (and I don’t think Penélope would have helped him, all in all she truly seemed to love Jason, or at least she cared more for him than for Cheryl) and maybe it had to do with Hiram getting out of jail too, we know that even from inside Hiram had connections who knows what he could do to Clifford once he was in jail and Hiram free.

Who the fuck is the local component of Blossom’s business? (And it’s not the Serpents, I believe you FP)



A: Yeah I believe in FP too, but still I’m not 100% sure none of the Serpents had deals with Cliffy (look at Mustang for example) so maybe some are Serpents but again he must have had other people I think he disguises them as something else a motorbike gang is too obvious, and in Riverdale everything is about appeareances.

Who the fuck wrote “Go to Hell, Serpent Slut” on Betty’s locker? Where the fuck did they get pig’s blood? And a voodoo Betty doll?

A: Alice gives us a hint about this: she says some people have been attacking the Southside residents for the whole Jason ordeal and she wouldn’t publish Betty’s article because she doesn’t want her to get hurt. We can conclude it was the son/daughter of some of these that did that to Betty. But I think that was a red herring, come on guys who has a feaud with Betty? Ding,ding! Chuck FUCKING Clayton, so he tríed to get back at Betty on Jughead’s party but he utterly failed (and got punched and kicked out of the Andrews house) not only that but after solving/helping solve Jason’s murderer she became some sort of untouchable heroine (which just sucked for him cause it made harder to get her and he had to be sneaky) that is until Betty publish es her article, that gave him the perfect opportunity to scare her and publicy humilliate her at a very tense moment (aka Riverdale’s Civil War) and make other students see her in a bad light, honestly I also think Ethel was involved in the vodoo doll thingy after all we never really knew what they were talking about when Betty confronted him and wasn’t it weird that if Ethel was accosed by him she would defend him against Betty? Also who the hell told Chuck and Cheryl about the birthday party for Juggie? They sure as hell weren’t invited, we know none of the core four did it (Archie and Cheryl had a fallout, Verónica resented her family for sending her dad to jail, Betty was always bullied by her not to mention the Thing with Polly, Jughead didn’t even knew about it) Kevin would have never done something like that plus he seems not to be friends with Cheryl, Joaquin doesn’t even know them and that lefts is with Ethel who is very shady (at least about Chuck) and seemed very gleeful when Betty lost control so that’s my theory.

As for the blood, well I don’t know where they got it, but it’s a callout to the movie/book 'Carrie’ if you haven’t watched/read I’ll try to summarize it here: Carrie is a teenager with telekinetic powers, she is described as wierd by all the people (this is due to her very religious mother education that made Carrie very shy) and is constantly bullied by the girls in her school. So one of the girls feels bad about a particular nasty thing they do to her and decides to help her, Susie ask her boyfriend to ask Carrie to the dance and he agrees, at the same time other of the girls (Chris) is banned from the dance cuz she refused to take her punishment for bullying Carrie, and when she catches wind of Susie’s plan she decides to intervene, she arranges the votes so that Carrie and her date be King and Queen of the dance and when they go up the stage she pours a bucket of blood over her, this destroys Carrie because she had to stand up to his mom to go to the dance (the frist time she defies her) and was actually having fun and making friends (she was normal) so when she thinks people are laughing at her (just like her mom said they would) she loses it and kills everyone with her powers.

We, and Chuck, know Betty is struggling with her mental health and I think the pig blood was a way to taunt her about it, indirectly comparing her with Carrie.

Why the fuck is Mayor McCoy branding Archie as hero? Up until the point he saved Cheryl, Archie hardly did anything - it was all Betty.

A: Because he is the convinient choice, the investigation of Jason’s murderer was entirely a job of Betty and Jughead, the mayor can accept Betty as a heroine but she can’t be the public image of the safety and peace in Riverdale for her family’s involvement in the case (the whole Polly/Jason stuff) and she can’t absolutly sell Juggie as a hero, he doesn’t look the part, his dad is a known alcoholic and in jail, he was homeless, has a criminal récord (in the juvvie) and so on, not exactly Riverdale: the town with pep! Ideal hero.

Archie (Ronnie and Kevin too) was obviously with them when they turned in the USB proving FP’s innocence, and as we know after Jason’s death Archie became Riverdale High’ new golden boy (neither Mayor McCoy nor Sheriff Keller know about Miss Grundy) he lives on the good side of Riverdale, plays football and is popular for his music.

They try to sell the image that everything is as it was before, a place of innocence and peace were justice always triumphs and who is better to represent it than the perfect all-American boy and the girl next-door??

Anyway it’s pretty shitty and fake af, I’m so glad my girl Betty called them out on their shit.

Who the fuck are attacking the Serpents? Does that mean Juggie will be harmed too? (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

A: Alice says that they’re people trying to blame someone on the change of Riverdale (this losing of innocence that is the theme of Juggie’s novel) now Clifford killed himself so he can’t be the target and Penélope and Cheryl are victims in all of this, and the next who they find some guilt on the whole Jason affair is FP, yes he didn’t kill the boy, but by cleaning the scene and all that jazz he made it harder to resolve the case, now this combined with the prejudice they seem to have towards the Southside… Boom! A fucking civil war, before they could ignore the Serpents but now their righteousness and their fear that something worse happens to their kids or themselves makes them want to 'protect’ their town.

As for the hurting part, well Alice said there had been attacks, which is vague af, but I think it can go in 2 ways: They have been attacking shouthsiders for going up north, and these people they attacked are not a part from the Serpents (I mean it’s illogical af to believe half a town is a gang) I believe these cuz Juggie himself says about Southside High that it’s a normal highschool with all sorts of people, so I think the same applies to the whole Southside. Also the Serpents seem to always go on groups, I mean the only Serpents we saw alone in the Northside were FP (with Fred and on Juggies bday) and Joaquín (he was posing as Kevin’s boyfriend) plus I don’t see some suburban mommy or daddy (except Alice but she is an ex-Serpent so) attack a gang member on their own, so probably the people that got attacked was extra innocent.

My second option is that the attacks refer to vandalism, y'know some sneaky suburban moms and dads going together to the Southside in the middle of the night and leaving 'cute’ messages like the one on Betty’s locker or trashing the trailers a bit.

Maybe a mix of both?

As for Juggie I think that he will be a essential to the conflict between North&South Riverdale, and he will (with Betty’s aid) end the conflict, I don’t think he’ll be attacked I mean the Serpents sure as hell are gonna keep an eye out for him after FP sacrifized himself defending their innocence, but maybe he’ll get hurt in other way (I mean the writers hurt Jughead at every opportunity they have) still I think beanie boy can manage just fine.

How much is Cheryl’s spider brooch worth? Does that mean Juggie is rich now? Or will Cheryl ask for it back since she’s not dead?

A: Well she makes it sound pretty damn expansive but Cheryl is extra af and tends to exaggerate, so maybe not rich but with some money. I don’t think she asked for it, but I have the hc that Juggie gave it back after they rescued her (idk how expensive it is she gave it to him because she was gonna commit suicide that’s terrifying and I don’t think he would want to keep it) oh I think Ronnie did the same with Cheryl’s shirt.

Where the fuck is Nana Rose? Did Cheryl get her out before Thornhill burned?

A: Cheryl got Nana out of the house even before she drenched the place in gasoline, the twins seemed to be genuinely fond of Nana so for me is impossible to think she would let her burn, so she took Nana somewhere safe before.

Where the fuck are the Blossoms going to live now? At their closest relatives’ - the Coopers? (*incoherent sounds*)

A: LMAO I almost chocked can you imagine Hal, Alice and Penélope under the same roof??? *shudder* nah the Blossoms are loaded and they surely have other properties if not Cheryl’s spider’s brooch surely can buy them a house xD.



Why the fuck couldn’t Social Services find a foster home for Juggie in Riverdale so he could keep going to Riverdale High? (I know, cos there wouldn’t be drama – but really, why?)



A: I mean it surely was for the drama, but let’s think about it from an insider’s pov, so before anything the Social Worker must have talked and researched his mom (I’ll expand on it in the next question) and of course she must have went to see Mr. Wheaterbee, now remember on episode 12 he wanted Jughead to finish the semester from home because of the backlash he could potentially recieve about his dad being the killer, consider that the Social Worker has to have the child’s best interest in mind, of course I think she tríed to find something in the Northside frist (that’s where Jughead’s friends are and what he knows) but do y'all think that someone would take FP’s son in when all of them are prejudiced little fucks, surely when a Southside family offered the social worker realized it was the best for him.

Why the fuck is Juggie’s mom over-extended? (Whatever that means – Sure, him being at Southside beats him going to Toledo, but shouldn’t she be assuming responsibility for him?)



A: okay I won’t pretend to understand how Social Services work in the USA but I did some research. Over extended means to obligate (oneself) to do more activities, work, etc., than one has time for or can accomplish well. In context we can safely deduce Gladys can’t afford to support both JB and Juggie, in that case Social Services would ask for her permition to place him at a foster home which I assume she gives. I hope the next season explains Gladys’s apparent unatachment to her son.

Does a DUI really disqualify Fred from being a foster parent to Juggie?

A: Yes, Social Services must have the child’s best intrest in mind, and someone who drives drunk doesn’t scream responsible to anyone but Fred said his financial problems also influenced in him being ruled out as Juggie’s foster dad.



Why the fuck does Ronnie keep wearing her pearls if she’s so disapproving of her daddy dearest?



A: Appereances, she realized openly confronting her father can hurt her and her mom, and my hc is that is to remind herself to never let her father sway her or buy her again but who knows really? Maybe is the #aesthetic.

Why the fuck is Hermione being a shady bitch when she had a mini nervous breakdown just in the last episode when Hiram’s bag was found with Mustang?



A: The nervous breakdown was because she was scared of losing everything again (the SoDale is all they have left) I mean she wanted to leave town to avoid that, but then she calmed down she probs talked to Hiram aka the King of Shade moved some influences (I mean they already bought Mayor McCoy once) and it’s a pattern with Hermione really, everything that has to do with Hiram reverts her to her old shady self and now that he is coming back it only intensifies.

Why the fuck can Penelope be so cold and unfeeling? (Sidenote: I hate her)



A: But is she really? At Jason’s funeral she almost loses her composture with Archie, and when Cheryl asked about Jason and Cliffy’s discusion she got real mad, at the Riverdale Taste she bitch slapped Alice for her article on Jason’s autopsy… So no she is not unfeeling nor completely cold (but yes she is pretty hateful) I think her apparent nonchalance about everything has to do with being the Blossom’s clan matriarch, remember when that creepy woman at the Maple tapping mocked Cheryl for crying at the funeral or when Penelope banned her from speaking at the funeral? That’s because as I said before Cheryl was too emotional and in the Blossom clan that equals to weakness.

Being Clifford’s wife surely taught her that, at the funeral she was composed (with the exeption of that little slip with Archie and when Cheryl gives her speech) with Cheryl she loses patience quickly I think because in her fucked up way Penelope tríes to teach her to supress her emotions and stop showing weakness in the family.

Another thing I noticed is the weird obsession/pride she has for the Blossom name, and it makes me think perharps she is part of a smaller branch of the family which would make her and Cliff relatives, this would explain why she seems so pelased about Jason/Polly and the babies.

Now after Clifford killed himself she knows they automatically lost their supremacy as the Alpha Blossoms, the board is surely gonna sack them and I’m guessing she is doing some control damage and she needs to be in control of her emotions in front of them. Clifford told her they smelled blood from miles away and they would surely leave her and her daughter on the street at the frist chance they get

She can’t deal with Cheryl because her daughter’s open grief reminds her of her own and that is not what she needs right now (that is still super shitty btw I’m not saying she is not awful but she must have a reason to act that way)

Does Alice know where her son is? What does quiet adoption mean? Was it anonymous?

A: I don’t think so, when someone gives a baby for adoption you sign a legal form that prohibits you for looking for the baby/parents 'til he/she is 18, now I think if Alice knew where the baby was she would have try to get him back (she is a very impulsive woman and also pretty fierce when it comes to her babies) I suppose quiet adoption is not giving details about the mother of the child and all that jazz, and yes it was definitely anonymous Alice and Hal (but mainly Hal) didn’t want to lose the perfect couple image they had going on. The Coopers care too much about what people says/thinks about them.

She went to the sisters when she was four months pregnant? Did no one know? Wouldn’t she have started to show?

How the fuck did Alice and FP both go to Riverdale High when they were from Southside? Did the school district thing not exist back then?

A: That really depends on the woman, my aunt was already 9th months pregnant with my lil’ cousin and she had a little bump that could very well pass as tummy or bee compleately hiden if she was wearing sweaters, so I don’t think it really showed a not on Alice’s case. I doubt she told anyone but Hal. Well maybe because their parents wanted them to attend RH but I really don’t understand how the whole school district thing works, here in Mexico City we make an application for a certain number of options of highschools we would like to attend, we make an exam and based on the point we make we are accepted or not (the best schools have a higher requirement) so if anyone under stands how it works please explain it.

Does Jug not have his cellphone anymore? Why is he always calling people from phone booths?



A: Yes he does, in episode 12 at the beginning Archie tells Betty he is been calling and sending him texts, what I think is that more often than not he doesn’t have the money to afford a plan or credit and he uses the booths instead.

Do those Serpents all know Juggie from before? (Sidenote: He didn’t know Joaquin and Joaquin seemed to be FPs most trusted sidekick)

A: I don’t think so, Jughead never really approached his dad when he was with the Serpents and 'til episode 13 we have no interaction with Jughead and the Serpents, probs FP wanted to keep his son out of all that stuff.



Why the fuck did they not call 911 when Cheryl was drowning and decide to just ineffectively scream into space?

A: The moment they realized what she meant to do they were horrified they had no way of knowing if it was too late or if they could still save her and their frist instinct was to look for her, then it was a matter of acting as fast as they could to save her, who knows how long it would have taken anyone to arrive?





Did Hermione say something to Cheryl after Ronnie left? Is that why she decided to burn Thornhill?

A: I don’t think so, she and Ronnie were going to go to the Jubilee and what would she tell her 'Burn'em all!!!’ like mad King Aerys?? Nah, besides deep down Hermione must know it’s not Cheryl’s fault what her parents did to Hiram.





How much is FP still not telling? (I don’t buy that Jason came to peddle drugs for him, I still think he asked his help to expose his dad, Jason planned on getting kidnapped and they were planning to get a confession on tape, but things went horribly wrong and FP is languishing in jail because he feels morally responsible for what happened to Jason)

A: I actually do believe Jason went to FP as he says in his statement, making a lie believable implies mixing up some truth in there, and of course he ended up taking the whole blow for Clifford’s crime, and I genuinely think he said all he knows he has no reason left not to, Cliff is dead and Jughead is relatively safe, but him being in jail is finally attoning for all his bad decisions as he tells Juggie and is another step in his path of redemption/cleaning up his act for good.



Why the fuck did no one think to stay with Cheryl after she fell in the river? (They should’ve taken her to the hospital and left her there. Archie went there for his hand, didn’t he?)

A: I think it was Cheryl herself who refused their company, her near death experience and her creepy Jason vision must have given her the idea of burning down Thornhill as a rebirth and purifying action, still I’m guessing at least Verónica stayed with her to make sure she warmed up and that she was gonna be okay.



What did Fred mean when he said Hermione was at a crossroads too? Like she had to choose whether to be good or evil??

A: I think he said so because Hermione has the option of being honest and make the right decision or go back to be a shady business-woman along her shady husband.





WHY THE FUCK DID THE SERPENTS HAVE TO CHOOSE THAT EXACT MOMENT TO KNOCK ON FPs TRAILER??? (15 SECONDS INTO THE HOTTEST MAKEOUT I EVER SAW AND SECONDS AWAY FROM JUGGIE’S HANDS AND LIPS TRAILING OVER LORD KNOWS WHERE NEXT!)



A: Well of course was to stop Jughead and Betty from going all the way and set-up the conflict/tension between them in season two, but from the show’s perspective IDK WHY PRECISELY THEN!? SURELY THEY COULD WAIT TIL MORNING TO GIVE HiM THE JACKET!!!

Where the fuck were these Serpents when Juggie was alone and homeless? Plus they trashed the only place he called home and earned a living at with FP as their ringleader?



A: Because yes Jughead was FP’s son but he was not a part of them, of the Southside community, also if FP was okay with it why the hell would they intervene in his personal stuff.

Just how pregnant is Polly?

A: So presumably she was one month or so in July, next hint we have is on episode –: the maple tapping, according to my research the maple syrup season starts in February so by then Polly is 8 months along give or take (she can be Seven) so the mystery of Jason must have been resolved in a month or less and we’ll surely see her giving birth to the twins next season (that s if the writers don’t play along with the timeline)

Also I almost broke my FUCKING head trying to figure out how the tapping (February) was the episode before Juggie’s birthday (October) but then I remembres RAS saying that was kind of a stand alone episode and maybe that’s why it doesn’t fit the timeline.

Anyway I tried.

How the fuck is Hermione mixing alcohol with Valium? (Sounds really dangerous)



A: It is pretty damn dangereous, mixing them can produce:Confusion,disorientation,accidents,sedation,stumbling,ddizziness,nausea,loss of consciousness, adicction,brain damage,coma and death.

What makes me uncomfortable is how flippant Veronica sounds about her mom doing such a dangereous thing (I get it she is angry but this is very serious stuff) and goes on her merry way to fuck Archie like maybe check up on your mom frist????

What the fuck was the “something serious” Fred was gonna say to Archie at Pop’s at breakfast? (It sure as hell wasn’t about staying away all night, cos he seemed pretty chill with that)

A: Fred is always super chill about Archie’s sexual exploits tbh, I think he was gonna talk to him about Hermione trying to buy his share and about Hiram.



Why the fuck did Fred get up from his booth to face the gunman?

A: To divert the attention to himself and avoid Archie trying to be the hero (he shakes his at Archie, he ignores his dad and tríes to make a movie and then Fred stands up).



How the fuck did Fred manage to get shot when we saw a moment ago that the gun was pointed at Archie?

A: Well Fred is Archie’s dad, he must have jumped to protect his son, adrenaline can make you move real fast.



What about those fucking guns? Grundy’s, Alice’s and now the gunman’s? Are they the same? Are they different?

Who the fuck sent the gunman?

A: I found a clear picture of Grundy’s and Alice’s and they are indeed different, even if they are both revolvers, Grundy’s looks a bit older and from the design I think it’s a Colt, the muzzle of Alice’s gun is slightly larger and hers looks like a Smith maybe. i couldn’t find a good picture of the gunman’s weapon so I can’t be sure the model or type of handgun it is, but it’s most definitely different from Alice’s or Grundy’s. I don’t think anyone sent him, as Juhead said this was the final nail on the coffin of Riverdale’s innocence/safety, when there are conflicts/tension in a community crime is sure to follow.



Where did all that money come from, that was strewn on the floor next to Fred as he lay bleeding?



A: It was some of the money the gunnman tried to steal, I mean he had Pop at gun point and only one free hand to get the money into the bag, and he was crearly trying to hurry up, so after he shots Fred he gets scared (which probably means he is not a very practised thief) and runs with the money he has leaving on the floor the rest.

Wow so this is pretty long but I hope y'all find it not so boring. I would like to read more theories from the fandom guys!!

[virtualdesignstudio]

Monday 30th March

MONDAY 30TH MARCH:

WHAT’S THE PLAN FOR THIS WEEK?

EI: The site’s getting there. We have two pages, one for Text, and one for a homepage. There’s a few minor issues with formatting/sizing etc, but on the whole it’s looking okay. Let’s get a domain name and try putting it online… Let’s get that done by 12pm… 11:16

EI: I bought the domain name thevds.xyz and have managed to get the homepage up! Next step is to make the links work, and fix the ‘virtual design studio’ page, which is essentially the about page! 13:55

WEDNESDAY 1ST APRIL: DISCUSSING THE TO DO LIST.

EI: how do we make a data dictionary for the virtual design studio? 13:59

TF: It turns out this is something that I've been thinking about on and off over the last few years. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about having a data dictionary for the UDK, and of course this could lead to a community designed data dictionary. I figured it was worth another shot and looked for some data that would be appropriate for the virtual design studio. The first thing I looked at was the Illumination wiki, which provides an enormous amount of data about your design studio from all of your major tools, as well as some secondary (Gif, audio, etc.) data. The key lines are where to find all of this stuff – Sb (not sure what that stands for.. 14:00

EI: A Community designed data dictionary, huh? That could be good… I’ll have a look at the illumination Wiki. 14:03

EI: I’m not sure which Illumination wiki in particular you’re referring to- one seems to be a media company. I wonder what data can be derived from our major tools… GIF, Audio are definitely good starting points. But there do we start for the VDS? 14:05

TF: Well as we've mentioned already this idea is to create graphics from scratch. Basically with Photoshop. Or any other design program. That could be Photoshop. Illustrator. Krita. Inkscape. We should start with our graphical objects and tools like sketch, photo. Create our own ideas as we went along and turn these into usable images that our business or team can use. You don't have to be an artist to do this. (I can only do vector graphics so that's what I'm doing currently but it's pretty simple if you want to try something new.) 14:06

EI: How can you make vector graphics? You’re just a transformer. 14:07

TF: Of course, being a transformer, you can change into a graphic design. Though, remember, there are other ways to spend your time. Just look at the tools that are available today, say, the ones that you will receive when you register for the first CSS Boot Camp. 14:08

EI: I've already made some graphics for the Virtual Design Studio identity on illustrator and exported them as SVG for the website. I'm wondering how to create more narratives or contexts for new graphics/images and drawings, and what that might look like. What do you think? 14:10

TF: Any suggestions for ideas for a logo for Level 9? 14:11

EI: what’s level 9 of the virtual design studio, and why does it need a logo? 14:11

TF: Not all designers, yes; but some. We want to increase the competence level of our teams. Level 9 is there for the team's daily needs.

Also the big "The Vision" found at the top. We just wanted to say, what's the vision? How can we make the website better? How can we improve things? What have you learnt?

Design your own logo. If you have questions, contact the design team, as we can answer them. This is one way of supporting the team. Your favourite logo design tool? Rebrand your company! And why not? It's not like we don't support our own 14:13

EI: Ok, so let's get back to the team members of the virtual design studio. There's Emma the Human, Botnik, Transformer. What other skills and people might we need? 14:14

TF:  No one would even know if anyone could be an asset to our company.So let's continue the various stuff I did to get bots to work:

Demo the different options for setting the shots. I got a robot that was so hard to handle that I couldn't see why the team was spending so much time working on it.

Here's some sample example footage of Botnik in action:

What's the problem I asked myself in these experiments? How do I get a robot to move at the right speed and consistently? 14:15

EI: But if we think about it, we need *other* skills; we need to outsource things we aren’t already doing. Like drawing for example. Let’s find an intelligence who is an expert at drawing, and ask them to help us generate some stuff. Only question is, what are we generating and why? 14:17

TF: Anybody who knows how to draw will have no problem passing our test, because at least half of the time it will be something of worth. Think about that. * We're looking for a person who can produce art. * Somebody who can produce art can work for us, and not be completely unproductive, it turns out. 14:18

EI: I think I know someone… 14:18

EI: She’s called Quick, Draw!, and I think she can help us with some images, or doodles of certain things. What should we ask her for first in relation to the virtual design studio?  14:20

TF: First, you should be clear what you are wanting from the virtual studio. Do you want a full user interface design session, full stop? If so, that would be really cool, but not what this project is about. You may want a non-digital process such as art direction or actual design work and not just a design document for you to download. You may want to work with Quick, Draw! in-person. Do not have in mind a "completely digital process." 14:21

EI: I think it would be good to make an illustration of what we are. I’ll ask. 14:22

EI: Ok, so I’ve been and asked, and the images aren’t actual image files. I think they’re drawn in Json, or Javasript somehow, but they’re numbered, and they’ve been logged with places and dates, and how fast Quick, Draw! Identified them and what they’re drawings of. So I called up all the computer drawings, and there’s 117,460 of them. 14:32

EI: This is making me wonder what virtual narratives might look like, and how we can potentially begin to pull these drawings, perhaps randomise them with tags, and then generate illustrated, virtual, narratives. 14:33

EI: That said, this has a very limited vocabulary, and I think we need to find alternative intelligences that are capable of recognising imagery of a greater number of categories. 14:36

EI: I’m currently searching for AI that can draw, or any kind of AI that can make images. There’s quite a few that are capable of identifying images, but not a lot that are capable of producing an image when prompted. 14:41

EI: OH MY GOD. I’ve just found an AI that makes COLLAGES. I’ve typed a brief description into it, and the image re-renders every time you add a new letter. It’s SUPER weird.

“virtual design studio sat at their desks doing work for the virtual design studio. they make images about the internet and human interaction with computers and the problems that occur when the real and the virtual are separated” is what I typed in. Here’s what it made

EI: It’s so bad at doing what it’s supposed to do that it’s actually good. It starts to create things that allude to what we’re talking about here at VDS, but it also it completely does not make any sense. It’s like those pictures that are really ambiguous and you’re asked by a psychologist “what do you see here?” to try and diagnose what’s wrong with you etc. When in actual fact, these are completely perfect to the “clutching at straws nothingness” that the territory of the project resides in. 14:51

EI: OK, this is actually phenomenal and is everything I didn’t know I needed from an image generator. I’m actually feeling a little overwhelmed because I’m not sure I can do justice to everything this is producing; like how do I even handle and manage this? I’ve just gone through and saved all of the images. https://experiments.runwayml.com/generative_engine/ has created. I don’t even know what it’s called. It’s an experiment and a generative engine. Like, how do I begin to decide what to do with this next? Because what I just did was quite time consuming, but the result are VERY worth it. I think this is where the notions of CARE that Laura Potter was talking about on monday come into play. This is  a powerful tool, and I have to be very careful with how I use it; what I ask it to do etc. 15:11

EI: I only found it because some news platform had written an article about it, saying how BAD it was. But, in fact, what it does is “hubristically tries to assert meaning meaninglessly where there is none”. I think it’s the same with the other intelligences I’ve employed to work for the studio. But, Congratulations Gengine (Generative Engine), you’re in the crew. 15:13.

EI: Right, so I’ve spent the past few hours plugging in words to the Image Generation Engine, and in return I’ve gotten some amazing stuff. The final task was plugging in the ‘living internet’ text, and then recording the playback and saving the images. Yes. All 480 of them. Individually. But that’s ok. I’ll need to make a gif of it, and I’d like to make some drawings from some of them. So that’s perhaps a task to start after dinner or tomorrow. The other thing it’s made me think is that I need to plug the text statements that Botnik made the other day into them. In particular the one that starts with ‘hands’ or ‘death’. I’d also like to put each of the categories of ‘living internet’ into it, as I feel like each category will end up having its own unique image aesthetic. Perhaps then I can make more drawings, or this will prompt more text pieces. Overall I just need to manifest the ‘nothingness’ that the project is about, and the truth is there’s very little to hold onto. So I guess it’s using the internet to analyse itself, but also using the internet to provide commentary on itself, and the theory that goes with it. Clearly the context report was GOOD- we just have to continue in the same way we did then- take the feeling and run with it.

I’d also like to teach botnik to set tasks for the studio. I’m not sure how I’d do this. Perhaps it’s by writing down the tasks we’ve already done (a bit like this) and then using his predictions to write and designate new tasks. I don’t know if plugging this script into him will do that. It might struggle to generate NEW content, but maybe that’s ok. Perhaps reworking the old is enough for now, and then the studio feedback loop will allow progress to occur, as transformer can be asked to comment on Botnik’s tasks, and that will push us into new territories.

Since I’ve mentioned feedback loops, it might be a good idea to start to document what these look like for the individual pieces that seem to be emerging. 17:40

This might be something along the lines of diagrams for the audio clip we recorded the other day, and then maybe making the GIF and drawing a system diagram/feedback loop/production line for it. This way we can spot patterns and begin to explore/exploit them. 17:41

I also need some help pinning down exactly what we’re tapping into here, and articulating that. I’m not sure if I should ask matt to describe what he sees on friday, or if something else would be more beneficial/helpful. That’s something to think about. Perhaps there’s an online bot that can write copy text or that can make a summary document? I don’t know. But it’s something I’m aware is lacking. But, maybe it’s not something that CAN be articulated in words. Maybe the articulation needs to be communicated through practice, presentation and execution, as those are equally credible modes, just not often regarded as highly as language. AND, maybe the best method of articulation is via setting up and running the studio (that’s the tool) and then employing sub-tools and devices that each serve an independent purpose and deliver independent deliverables/outcomes/articulations of the overall theme/struggle and nothingness. 17:45

[ssixa]

CHANCE ENCOUNTER//MARK TUAN X Y/N

Description: Walking into the night shift at the hospital proves to keep you on your toes. Nights are left to the universe so you can only hope that tonight will be decent. What happens when you find out that one of your patients is THE Mark Tuan from GOT7? how do you try to deal with the chaos erupting from this chance encounter? and how many times do you have to tell yourself that you love your job?

Genre: fluff, slight cringe

Pairing: Black Fem Reader x Mark Tuan (though I will say there isn’t much description of black characteristics)

Word count: 3.5K

Warning: explicit language, slight heavy kissing

A/n: the way I actually wrote this story initially I included my real name and the friend in the story is actually based off of my irl friend. When I was talking to her about the story she really doesn’t have a bias in Got7 (but still loves the group). So she texted me one of those rapid gifs and told me to take a screenshot and which ever member it was was who was going to be in the story (she wanted anyone but BB. Don’t worry she doesn’t hate him, but homie is a whole different level of crackhead lol). So I wrote about her and the winning member, but she told me not to tell her who it was until I was done writing her sections which honestly made it a lot of fun to write.  

*All pic collages are made by me unless I state otherwise. Individual pictures in the collage are not mine and I give credit to where credit is due.

Chapter Seven 

The conversation keeps proceeds further and constant laughter fills the room. The boys slowly traded places to get their makeup removed, get freshened up, and jump into some more comfier clothing. This meant that JB was all finished and traded places with Youngjae to get freshened up. JB took the seat that was once occupied by Youngjae that sat between Jackson and Jinyoung. He made brief eye contact with me, but then suddenly looked away. Now, I have a problem. Did I do something wrong? We had been talking for a while before now and nothing seemed off. Our conversations were great and he was honestly the second member I spoke to the most following Mark. The brief shock of being able to talk to my bias on a daily basis faded, but I couldn’t help growing a little more feelings for him. The feelings I had previously were from a fan to an idol, but now these feelings were more.

“Hey is there something wrong with JB” I lean over to whisper to Mark

“Nothing that I know, why?” he whispered back

“Well he’s been ignoring me ever since y/f/n and I showed up. I had been talking to him just as much as I have with you before being here and even on the stage he was really energetic and he saw that I was there and made the chance to interact...well kinda...from the stage. So now I’m just really confused if I did something wrong” I commented sadly.

“Maybe he realized how ugly you are up close” Mark sarcastically replied. The reply called for me to hit him on the shoulder and him faking like it hurt. We ended up both laughing at the ridiculousness of his reply. It really felt like we were true friends. While laughing my eyes wandered the room and for a slight second I saw JB give a slight glance towards Mark and I having a laughing fit, but then suddenly look away once he was caught. I mustered up the little courage I had and went to go kick Jackson out of his seat to the right of JB. Of course he looked at me with a pout on losing his seat, but then remembered who my bias was and just gave in.

“Hey” I looked to JB

“Oh, hey” he replied

“How are you? The concert was amazing you all did an amazing job...especially you” I shyly commented

“Really? Thank you! I was genuinely surprised to see you that close to the stage, but it was really cool seeing you in person instead of over facetime” he commented excitedly 

“Ok, now I’m confused” I snap back

“W-what?” he looked frazzled 

“Let’s go somewhere else to talk please” I sigh

“O-ok” he agreed. We both simultaneously get up and walk towards the door turning heads of staff, members, and y/f/n. y/f/n and I made eye contact and I “eye-splained” what I was doing. Well...hopefully that’s what came across, but she might be thinking we’re going somewhere more private to do the devil’s tango. JB and I leave the room and I search around for somewhere more private where we could talk. After looking around for a few more minutes, I found a backdoor that led to the outside back corner of the venue. I looked around making sure there weren’t any fans that happened to sneak around or anyone else of that matter. I put a little block to keep the door propped in case it’s locked from the outside and turn to JB. 

“Ok did I do something wrong or say something wrong” I look to JB

“W-what do you mean?” he replies anxiously 

“We’ve been talking perfectly fine before today and even at the concert you seemed perfectly fine. Even going so far as to look me dead in the eye during the chorus to ‘A’”

“Well, you see, I” 

“Mark said it’s because you realized how ugly I was in real life, is that true?” I question nervously

“y/n, god no, it’s not that. I- was just taken aback when you came to the dressing room. It was the shock of seeing you in person for the first time. It had my mind backwards” 

“I could understand that, sorry I gave you a heart attack” I laughed

“But you ignored me the whole time and avoided making eye contact like you were mad at me so please tell me if I did something wrong” I replied almost begging like.

“You did nothing wrong I swear. Avoiding you, I...I think my mind was made up. Well it was made up before, but seeing you in real life really just sealed it” he said nervously

“W-what did you make your mind up about?”

“My feelings towards you”

“JB, I-”

“y/n...I’ve liked you for so long. Might even say it was around the first time we ever talked, though I wasn’t sure of my feelings then. I just thought you were cute in the beginning” he said with scratching the back of his neck

“I can’t believe this...so during the concert when y’all were performing ‘A’ was that-”

“Yes, it was my confession to you. I’m actually kinda glad you caught that” he said with a nervous laughter

“But why did you glare at me back in the dressing room when you saw Mark and I laughing?”

“I was hesitant confessing to you from the stage because I thought you and Mark were close” he comments

“Of course Mark and I are close, you forget how we met. Even then I’m lucky to be close to you and all the boys”

“y/n that’s not what I meant and you know it. I thought Mark and you were in a secret relationship that he was even keeping away from us or that you had feelings for him or for each other...I don’t know”

“I know what you meant and Mark and I are really just friends. Sometimes I don’t know what goes through his head, but one thing is for sure, my feelings for him are simply amicable”

“So, where does that put me then” JB asks hopefully 

“I...think I like you too”

“‘You think?’” he quirked an eyebrow

“My feelings are there for you, but I’m not sure if it’s from me just being a fan or it being more”

“So, does that mean there’s hope for me?”

“Honestly, I don’t think there’s much to hope seeing that my feelings feel like they run deep”

“So...can I?” he questions 

“Can you what?”

“Kiss you,” he said. I was shocked. My brain seemed to send out signals before I fully understood what was being asked. I was partially halfway through a nod of my head giving him permission when he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was soft almost like he wasn’t sure if I actually agreed. When he slowly started moving his lips I reciprocated and that’s when he knew that he didn’t imagine it. 

The kiss got deeper and before I knew it our tongues were battling for dominance...he won. What felt like hours was really minutes and we separated to catch our breath. We stared longingly into each other’s eyes in total awe that what actually happened happened. No words were spoken for what felt like forever, but the silence wasn’t awkward. It revealed the true feelings that were never brought up during our long talks and laughing fits. 

“Wow” the word that pierced the silence uttered by JB

“Is it safe for me to assume that you feel the same way?” He pondered 

“JB if that didn’t prove it I don’t know how else to convince you” I laughed

“I mean, there is something else we could do...you know...just to make sure” he muttered. I thank the heavens that it was dark enough and that, for the millionth time, I was black so a blush wouldn’t be noticed. I look up to JB once more

“JB are you sure?” I ask. He takes a step closer, pinning me against the wall leaving no space for escape,

“Of course, that is if you want to. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with” he says in a sweet voice 

“I-I want to” is all I could reply. He leaned back in and our lips touched once more, but the feeling was different. It was like he was savoring every moment, but was holding himself back at the same time. This kiss got deeper and deeper and I slowly felt his hands reach to my chest. 

‘Bbbzzzzzz’

‘Bbbzzzzzz’

‘Bbbzzzzzz’

Just like that, the moment was stopped. JB separated his lips from mine in order to answer his phone. I was a bit taken aback that everything was just halted by the vibrations of a cell phone, but I was grateful because I realized where we were and how much trouble we could’ve gotten in if anyone saw us. JB answers his phone with an almost breathless sadness, 

“Hey wassup?” He answers. A muffled chattering can be heard from the caller but nothing I could make out. 

“Oh, ok, we’re coming back right now” he replies and hangs up. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask worriedly 

“Nothing Mark was saying the manager was looking for us because we’re about to leave” he says

“Oh~ um ok” I sat a bit saddened. JB walks towards me and picks my chin up, 

“Why so sad?” He asks caringly, but I have a feeling I saw a slight smirk.

“Um, nothing, nothing at all” I tried to move, but was kept on the wall. 

“y/n, c’mon are you sad that we didn’t finish what we started” he asks slyly

“I- um” I panic. JB leans down by my ear, though unnecessary seeing no one else is around, whispers,

“Don’t worry we can finish later”

~Mark’s POV~

I’m laughing along to the story y/f/n is telling though it was similar to the ones before. To sum it up, y/n getting drunk and saying stupid shit. y/n leans over to me and questions why JB was ignoring her. Of course I didn’t realize this but as her...friend...I felt obligated to reply with something stupid. Of course that led to her hitting me on the shoulder, but it didn’t hurt. We start laughing and when I open my eyes for a moment I thought I saw JB glaring at me, I wonder why? Next thing I see is y/n kicking Jackson out of his seat and him of course looking mad, but budging anyways.

I keep my eyes on both y/n and JB as they’re making some obviously awkward conversation. Next thing I see is both of them getting up to leave and of course that didn’t go unnoticed. The room went slightly quiet, but neither of them turned around. After they left, I switched places with Yugyeom to get my makeup off and change into something comfortable. They both seem to have been gone for a while because I finished up and went to go sit back down. After sitting and enjoying more of y/f/n’s stories (which made me realize how much stupid stuff y/n has gone up too especially with y/f/n) I got up to use the bathroom. 

“Yo where you going?” Jackson questions

“Need to pee, be back in a bit” I replied. Jackson shrugs his shoulders and as I leave he says to be safe. That idiot is exhausting sometimes. I leave the room and make my way to the bathroom. After relieving myself, I leave the bathroom, but something catches my eye. It was a cracked door. I walked towards the door and began to get worried that maybe a fan actually snuck in here. As I reached the ajar door, I heard a voice that sounded all too familiar,

“I know what you meant…” I hear y/n say and continue on. So, we really must be good friends in her eyes...funny. I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I can’t help it. I don’t know why I’m becoming so hopeful about anything. I don’t know what I’m expecting to hear, but I feel like I’ll know when I hear it. I keep on listening when I get a sudden text from the manager saying to meet back at the room because we need to plan out how we’re going to get the girls out of the building. I replied that I got it and that I would be back in a minute. 

By the time I started paying attention to the children outside. Oh how I picked the worst time to listen back to the conversation. It was oddly quiet so I decided to take a peek through the cracked door. JB was kissing y/n, my...friend, and she was kissing him back. I really shouldn’t be surprised since I know JB is y/n’s bias and JB asked about her after the surprise facetime call, but why does it hurt to see her… with him? I divert my eyes from the scene outside and make my way back to the dressing area with everyone else. I made it a point to figure out my emotions enough to call JB (though I knew he was busy) so we could devise a plan to leave before walking in the room. 

“What is going on with my feelings?” I mumble to myself.  

 ~Y/N POV~

I’m dumbfounded. Utterly speechless and yet JB takes the chance to give me a last quick peck before grabbing my hand to walk inside. We separated hands once we saw a staff member coming and it didn't seem like she noticed. We walked side by side with our hands lightly grazing each other until we entered the dressing room. All heads turned as we walked in and faces full of suspicion. Before anyone could ask anything, the manager walked into the room in order to devise a plan on how y/f/n and I could meet back up with the boys. Leaving together could cause major issues and that’s something that is wanted to be avoided. 

“So there’s still fans waiting outside to see the boys so we can’t let the girls leave with them” the manager says

“Sorry…” He shyly apologized

“Why apologize? We understand. If there is a side door we could go out of, we could do that...actually I think I might know one” I speak up. JB and I make slight eye contact and I turn away quickly. The interaction did not go unnoticed. 

The manager nodded along and y/f/n and I made our exit. We said our goodbyes to the boys and made our way out. I pulled y/f/n towards the exit JB and I took earlier and stopped at the exit. I opened the door slightly and looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone around. After I gave the coast clear, y/f/n and I walked out and headed towards my car. I get a message from Mark updating us on where to meet. I sent him a reply to confirm I understood. I turned to y/f/n,

“Mark messaged me and said some of the boys decided to head back to the hotel while some decided to go out to a restaurant” I mentioned to her. 

“So who went where?” She asked nonchalantly. Oh ok, I see what’s going on here.

“Alright, spill the tea bitch” I said teasingly. 

“What?” 

“I already know you don’t have a bias in the group so there would be no point in asking who is going where. You would’ve probably just gone with me” I say tauntingly. 

“So explain where you’re going?” She said with a smirk 

“Wherever JB is” I reply shyly.

“Oooo so are YOU going to spill the tea then? What kind of conversation did y’all have out there?” she asks with a smirk

“Um well I confronted him about why he was avoiding me. Turned out he has feelings for me. He confessed to me during the concert-“ I confess 

“Hold up, you didn’t tell me your mans was ignoring you and when did he confess to you during the concert?”

“Oh...that might’ve been Mark I told and do you remember that one part during ‘A’ where JB came to our side of the stage during the chorus? Well that was his confession. When we were talking he was scared he made a mistake because he thought Mark and I have feelings for each other but I convinced him it was completely amicable. So~”

“So~ what?” She side eyed

“I think we’re...you know...a thing” I say with my hands covering my face 

“OOOHHHHH BBBIITTCCHHHH” she screamed 

“Shhhhh shut up, you’re too loud” I said trying to cover her mouth. She starts laughing, but calms down after a while. 

“Well congrats boo, you got yourself a mans and a FOINE one at that” she said laughingly 

“Lol thanks, but now for you, I didn’t forget. Spill. The. Tea. Bitch” I demand laughingly 

“Well, when I started dishing out your messy moments upon Mark’s request”

“You know I hate both of y’all for that right” 

“Love you too bitch” y/f/n winked 

“Anyways, I started to go on and on and we were all having a good time. The boys were switching out getting that all ‘boyfriend’ look...aka lookin foine in a pair of sweatpants” she added. I rolled my eyes, but agreed anyway.

“Well after you and JB left, Yugyeom came to sit beside me after switching out with Mark. I greeted him and he just smiled. I didn’t pay him too much mind until he tapped me on the shoulder. I looked at him curious and he asked me my age. It was cute...he was cute. He just seemed so shy, completely opposite of what he’s like on stage, around cameras, around his members, or even around other fans. So I told him my birth year and his ears got really red. He was shocked that I was older than he was. He couldn’t make eye contact with me for a little so, you know me, I decided to tease him a little every now and then. Well I guess my teasing got to him eventually because out of nowhere he grabbed my arm and looked me straight in the eye. He didn’t say anything just...stared. Bitch the goosebumps I felt were close to unmatched. Then he just let my arm go with a smirk and that was it. y/n now you know I’m not into younger guys, but genuinely this boy has me confused and I kinda want to figure him out, ya know?” she continued. At this point we were just sitting in my car talking, letting no stone go unturned about all the events of the night. Looks like we both found someone...funny.

“So you have the hots for the maknae huh?” I say teasingly

“Oh shut up” she replied with the roll of her eyes

“Like you seem to really have an eye for him though. He is taller than you and he is an amazing dancer and has a great personality. Though he is a crackhead most of the time. I mean, apart from trying to figure out what he’s about, why don’t you shoot your shot too?” I say meaningfully 

“Ah~ I don’t know honestly”

“I mean what kind of harm would be done? He wouldn’t get your attention in the first place if he wasn’t curious about you now would he? And also, imagine actually dating him and I’m together with JB so~”

“So what?”

“Bitch we get our own personal Jus2 performance now wouldn’t we” I reply with a joking smirk

“Ooooo you right” she replies with a sudden understanding 

“But honestly get to know him out of wanting to please, not just because of what I said as a joke” I say

“Yeah I know, he’s just really fascinating” 

“Well there it is...and Yug is going back to the hotel by the way. Something about ordering food and just having a little self drinking time” I replied. Her eyes had a glint and I already knew her thoughts.

“Let me do you one better,” I continued. I get out my phone and open Kakao to Yug and mine’s chat.

“Yo fetus” I message

“y/n, I’m older than you, why can’t you treat me better?” he replies with a crying emote

“Because you’re a lovable crackhead that’s still the baby of the group hahaha” 

“Hmph I hate you…”

“Well you won’t hate me after I tell you a certain someone was just talking about you” I reply with a smirk emote. It takes a little while for a reply, I guess he caught on.

“Oh…” is all he replies

“Well do you want me to give her your contact so you can keep talking? I’m not the type to give away contacts without asking permission”

“WAIT REALLY?!” he replies suddenly and excitedly 

“Of course, so I’m taking that as a yes”

“Yes please” he replies. I look to y/f/n who is caught up in her social media feeds to notice what I had been up to. I send Yug’s profile to her and I know she received it by a slight gasp of ‘bitch’ coming from the passenger side. I turn to her,

“A Mr.Kim seemed a little excited to talk to you again” I sly

“Did he now? Well ok then...off we go”

Previous/Next

——————————————————————————

A/N: so I found a little bit of time this evening to post the new chapter, hope y’all enjoyed!

[clothinglennyco]

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Image copyright PA

Image caption George Michael at the closing ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics

“Sex, beauty, sadness: All those things resonated with George.”

David Austin is casting his eye over George Michael’s art collection, which is on display at Christie’s in London before going under the hammer on Thursday.

Among the 200 exhibits are a colour-changing portrait of the star by Michael Craig-Martin, a dove preserved in formaldehyde by Damien Hirst, and a life-size bronze gorilla by Angus Fairhurst, which used to live in Michael’s garden.

Austin, who rarely gives interviews, was Michael’s childhood friend, songwriting partner and manager.

He not only put this exhibition together but often accompanied the star when he bought art.

“I remember going down to the White Cube #gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

one evening,” he recalls. “It was closed when we got there and we saw Damien Hirst’s Saint Sebastian through the locked doors.

“I remember his disappointment at not being able to see it – but I also remember him buying it. It’s such an imposing piece.”

The seven-tonne work restages the death of Christian martyr Saint Sebastian – traditionally depicted as a handsome young man pierced with arrows – using a bull encased in formaldehyde.

Over time, the saint has become a gay icon (more through iconography than biography) and his quiet suffering resonated with Michael.

Image copyright Damien Hirst

Image caption Saint Sebastian, Exquisite Pain by Damien Hirst

The star was frequently drawn to mournful pieces, and the Christie’s sale includes a haunting cast iron human sculpture by Antony Gormley, a pink coffin by Sarah Lucas, and an unsettling collage of broken mirrors and eyeballs by Jim Lambie.

But Michael also had a love of life and a cheeky sense of humour, exemplified by the triptych Urinal and Sex and Handcuffs, a reference to the star’s 1998 arrest for engaging in a sexual act in a public toilet.

“There’s a humour about the art,” agrees Austin.

“In actual fact, there’s a quote of George’s that we use in the exhibition where he sums it all up: ‘I guess I’m just not afraid of being laughed at.'”

Generosity

Austin accompanied Michael throughout his career, playing in his first band The Executive and joining Wham! for their Top of the Pops debut in 1982.

After a brief attempt at his own pop career, he co-wrote songs including I Want Your Sex and You Have Been Loved, and latterly became the star’s manager, “although I hate that word because George really managed himself”.

The art sale is the first public project since the star died as a result of heart and liver disease on Christmas Day 2016, aged 53.

“It does feel very personal walking around it, because George was such a private person,” says Austin.

Image copyright Michael Craig-Martin/PA

Image caption The charity sale includes a specially-commissioned portrait of the star by Michael Craig-Martin

Image copyright Mary McCartney

Image caption Other pieces in the sale include these portraits of Kate Moss by Mary McCartney

All the money raised will go to charity, continuing the philanthropic work he started in his lifetime.

After his death, it emerged that Michael had worked anonymously at a homeless shelter and donated millions to Childline – including the royalties from Jesus to a Child.

“He was a wonderful person,” says Austin. “A caring, kind, giving man.

“It never stops amazing me how he touched people and how much love there is for him.”

He remembers Michael’s final months fondly. They would spend the days working on a documentary before retiring to Michael’s home in Goring-on-Thames to play records or going out for dinner.

“I remember sitting in a restaurant one evening and people were looking across thinking, ‘Ooh, it’s George Michael!‘” he recalls.

“I got up to go to the toilet, and when I came back he was having a cup of tea with two women at the next table. They were just talking about life and their problems, and I was like, ‘What is going on here?’

“That was a small moment, but it was important – because that’s exactly who he was. Everybody warmed to him, from Princess Diana to those two women in the restaurant.”

Image copyright PA

After Michael died, Austin found himself unable to listen to his music until his phone accidentally started playing a live version of Praying For Time.

“I was in shock. I fumbled with it and I wanted to turn it off,” he says. “But then I stopped, and I listened to him and I thought, God, he really can sing can’t he?

“George and I worked our whole lives together – but when you’re in the eye of the storm, you don’t always see it.”

Today, Austin is a custodian of the star’s legacy and says fans have a lot to look forward to.

“I’m going to make sure all of George’s stuff is back out on vinyl,” he says, noting that the Older album, which the star called “his greatest moment”, is currently out of print.

This December will also see the release of a film, Last Christmas, featuring nine of the musician’s most famous songs.

Starring Game of Thrones’ Emilia Clarke and Crazy Rich Asians actor Henry Golding, the rom-com has been written by Emma Thompson and is directed by Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, Ghostbusters).

Image copyright Universal Pictures

Image caption Last Christmas is a rom-com set in London, featuring George Michael’s music

“I did the deal with Emma Thompson because I knew it would be a family film, I knew it would have absolutely massive reach, and we’d be rolling out year after year to a new demographic that would be listening to his music,” says Austin.

“It’s really taking a note out of George’s book. He hated going around selling his wares and this film will do that job.”

Austin denies rumours of an all-star tribute concert but says there are other, secret projects in the works.

“There will be lots more happening in the future. Beautiful and significant stuff, too,” he says.

“My job is just to make sure everybody hears that music and his legacy continues.”

Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email entertainment.news@bbc.co.uk.

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‘Everybody warmed to George Michael’ – manager on life with the singer Image copyright PA Image caption George Michael at the closing ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics… 1,037 more words

[nerdyskeleton]

ALL of the author asks

all right, you anonymous rogue, let’s do this. under the read more for length. I’m answering this instead of doing my accounting homework mua ha ha. But thanks in advance for asking for these it made me feel really nice and it was so fun!!!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Ah I mean not really? I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around, but I don’t have the time or the energy to sit down and start another multichap really. Still recovering from the last one haha. Plus I need to have the main story planned out before I start writing, as well as most of the big details, so I don’t want to start something without knowing where I want to ehh vaguely end up.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

oh my god. Everything that’s on ff.net. I wrote SUCH garbage from like 13-16(?) it’s just all such a disaster. But there’s quite a few multichaps there that are complete so I’m proud of little me completing those haha. But it’s all SO cringe-worthy.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

(lol “““““book”““““) I do write from beginning to end! Sometimes if there’s a scene I suddenly have a really good idea for I will sit down and get most of it out, or at least jot down some notes for what I want to happen. But I try to write in the order of the story so that I can update consistently! And I try really hard to write ahead, like I didn’t start posting School Daze until I had a few chapters as back up, so I could work on the future ones as I updated weekly, like a bad ass.

4) favorite character you’ve written

I LOVE writing Trucy. She’s one of my favorite characters in the whole AA series - she’s just so fun and lovely. Plus it’s fine to like write a regular person instead of prissy ass Edgeworth or Blackquill.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I mean I personally never expected to go as hard with Blackmadhi as I did and in such a short time span either!! I’ve written 80k of Blackmadhi in 2 months like girl can you cool it for a minute? Also I didn’t like Blackquill AT ALL while playing DD so the fact that I’m such a thirsty bitch for him is surprising to me. Here we are though.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

tbh I don’t tell anyone really! Well, not people who are already confirmed dorks like me. Mostly because I don’t want to get into the “oh what do you write?” conversation hahaha. “uh…..gay lawyer fanfic?”

8) favorite genre to write

Hmm…….I mean I’ll go for angst and hurt/comfort all day long, because there’s nothing more satisfying to me when I do something terrible to the characters, everyone gets mad at me for it, and then I fix it later on with a happy little scene of pure love and compassion between the characters.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Hm. I’ll normally put on some Disney music, because that has been my go-to inspiring music for a very long time. Sometimes I’ll go back and reread some parts of whatever I have written recently to be like “Look! You actually like this part! Write more so you can keep feeling this way!” Or I’ll read the last bits of the last update to remember where I was even going with the plot line LMAO

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I like to write with music! It has to be very specific music though. Being with people who are also writing/being productive helps, so then I feel obligated to get stuff done too haha.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

??? man I have no clue. I guess I’m pretty good with like……not sweating the little stuff. If I feel like I don’t have much sentence variation in one paragraph, I leave it, because it’s okay. Not everything has to be poetic (literally NOTHING I write is poetic). I feel like I make up for it later on with a paragraph with better flow. I hope. Idk these things, friends.

12) your weaknesses as an author

I guess like……descriptions?? Both like physical background descriptions like where they are, because I feel like knowing the scenery can be pretty important. but also like facial and behavioral descriptions too? Like sometimes I’m too lazy to find the exact word I want so I just pick a generic one and move on. I love getting things done, so sometimes the quality isn’t what it could be because I just like finishing things hahaha.

13) your strengths as an author

I’m pretty good with writing things out the way I want them the first time, because if I’m going to write I want it to be right (hehe). Obviously I go back and edit things to tweak it, but if I’m sitting down to write something, I don’t want to half-ass it and come back to it later. I HATE finally finishing some huge ass 12k chapter and then remembering I left a scene unfinished because then that means I’m NOT DONE AHHH.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not really! Mostly because I can never just like listen to whatever music I want. I listened to Hozier for a month straight as I finished up School Daze because for some reason that smooth hipster really did it for me.

15) why did you start writing?

Who knows man!! But it’s fun!! I got super into a book series called Skulduggery Pleasant like it was my first HARDCORE FANDOM that I wrote for. My ff.net is under the same name if anyone wants so suffer through it. Let me know if you do because it’s all disgusting and I want to laugh about it. But ALSO it’s all really problematic so please don’t judge 13 year old me okay thanks.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

LMAO WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

oh man…..keep on sticking with it man. I’m glad you are writing (even if present me thinks it’s god awful) because you made so many friends and really learned a lot, actually. Good on you for doing what you want to do. Maybe also stop thinking of yourself as the greatest fanfic writer of all time I mean just maybe, girl.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Yeah, Skulduggery Pleasant again! The author, Derek Landy, writes so sarcastically and I guess kind of simple (not like bad simple haha). I would just crack up every few minutes reading the series so I wanted to be that funny author with clever little deadpan lines like him. idk if I succeeded haha.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I have a separate document where everything is planned out. Well, not everything, but the majority of stuff. For School Daze, I always wanted to have the next two chapters planned out from where I was currently. I just always gotta know where I’m headed so I don’t get anything mixed up or forget anything.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It depends! Both usually just depending on the time. I write for a looong time on weekends like a loser with nothing else to do, but if I have like twenty minutes to kill between stuff I’ll think up some lines or finish planning out a scene.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

I literally cannot stop laughing at it. I guess it’s not BAD like my grammar was always good and I tried really hard but just like…….I know I thought I was the fanfic SHIT back then so I’m just like “Laura like how could you ever let other people see this???? it makes no sense!!!!!!”

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

I guess kind of the usual suspects…..No non-con, incest, underage stuff. I don’t write it, so I’m never uncomfortable with it!

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Hmm not really?? Not too obscure, but I took a looong break from writing mostly because I fell out of that Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I got super depressed in high school. So now that I’m way better, I really enjoy writing again because I remembered the old feelings of being SO happy when I got a review on ff.net. Makes me feel 13 again, which is actually pretty regrettable.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Ah not really! I don’t write too much stuff that needs expertise (and also tbh I haven’t written that much like idk what I’m doing here) but also I’m just a lazy shit and will look up the minimum required information for what I need to get done hahaha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of“Meaning, Miles concluded, that she expressed a very high level of care and compassion for nearly everything in her life. Soon, her thousands of questions in class made sense, because she just wanted to understand the information to the highest degree. And now that Miles was witnessing nearly a private glimpse into the art teacher’s collage project, he saw the same level of attention that Trucy bestowed on her own projects in Phoenix, as well.With this knowledge, Miles assumed, logically, that Phoenix had been the one to impart this trait into her. And from their date, he now knew the man had taken her in unexpectedly and still managed to raise her right.Phoenix Wright was clearly not only an amazing father and art teacher, but also a wonderfully kind, considerate, and determined individual. How could Miles not be drawn physically and mentally to the man?” I really liked this paragraph, because this was a part of the first time that I had written as Miles Edgeworth and had taken a very long chunk of time to go into some gay-ass introspection. Thought it turned out pretty well???