#i wouldnt go as far to call him transphobic

[felixfeliccis]

:/

[k-ru-h]

ok first of all. i am sius #1 defender and i wouldnt accuse him of shit without proper proof but. i actually think its important to talk abt this. and second of all this is the only time im ever posting fastpass screenshots but just because the appearance of a character is extremely relevant

listen i know we're all very excited at the idea of a canon gay character in tog, but i really dont think this was the best of moves. tog has so far been mostly pretty alright with handling gnc characters (think how well aka was treated by others, khun being very feminine, etc) and i dont think this one fuckup will change that just. siu is a grown ass adult from a very conservative country and his portrayal of intersex characters such as evankhell or aka isnt very, well, "woke" (evankhell being the only lead brown woman while being "half man" plays into a lot of racial stereotypes, as well as treating intersexuality as a literal curse). i kind of wanna like , talk about this new "queer" character kaya (i saw ppl call him that online, idfk) and like. ill just go thru my points in no particular order idfk ive written too many coherent essays for school this week abd it's 3am i think i deserve a fucked up little one

ok first of all. jesus fucking christ what is this character design

so uh. heres our gay male character! with massive fake tits, lipstick and long hair! this wouldn't be a problem in media already filled with other queer characters, but on its own, especially with the character being darker-skinned yet again, it plays into a lot of stereotypes abt trans women, as well as brown women being masculine. and listen, i know tog has a lot of very wacky character designs, but it also has a lot of gorgeous ones, and while i really dont think it was sius intention to make a transphobic, racist caricature (istg you can psychoanalyse this man just off of tog alone), i think it definitely has something to do either with his own internalised racism and transphobia, or with a lack of education to spot a (hopefully) mistake by assistant artists.

here are some random ass caricatures of trans women i found online and by god i am not crediting this shit, but. look at what i mean. the fake tits, the dress/skirt, the long hair and lipstick.... the resemblance is startling.

but okay. lets say this by itself isnt important. siu made an oopsie and we got a canonically queer character that defends his right to like men unapologetically, and bam didnt seem to mind, and was polite abt it! weeeeeellll... the thing is, this whole fucking thing is a ploy. and if it turns out siu negates my previous point by making it turn out that kaya IS just playing a caricature on purpose because he wants the political advantage and isnt actually gay but is, in fact, homophobic, i will eat that shit up. that would actually make a very good point and having a critique of homophobia is better than having a homophobic gay character. but lets say he is gay for now, lets assume. that still leaves a possibility that he is gay AND just using bam, but lets just assume thats not the case either. lets say he's actually gay and actually wants to marry bam, for whatever fucking reason. bam being polite doesnt mean shit!!! people on twitter are unironically saying this means he's okay with being in a romantic &/or sexual relationship with a man when it literally does not. bam isnt okay with any of this. from start to finish, be it a man or a woman, bam is in this nonconsensually. and one of bams core personality traits is his kindness and politness, and he's been in kayas shoes before, albeit not for queerness specifically. bam isnt a participant, bam is a fucking reward and object and just as that one guy calling khun a "cute little kitten" while literally discussing how much his worth as a slave would be isnt queer rep, neither is this! even if the two of them are actually gay and actually attracted to the two respectfully, they still treat them as objects to be sold or bought for political advantage. someone on tumblr once said that a drag queen will always be a better ally than a gay ceo, and! yeah!

anyways, in conclusion, this is at worst an accidental bigoted caricature, and at best a very good joke on all of us. source im gay intersex trans and i actually go outside and interact with real queer people instead of having pronoun discourse on tiktok. thanks

[nathank77]

9/7/24

9:31 a.m

I don't want to spend time with any of these people:

Kenny is a pill head alcoholic. He is gay and an asshole.. very transphobic. He has called me by my birth name many times and said you have a cunt... I don't have a cunt actually and you don't know what happened when I lived with cecile i could have gotten bottom surgery i didnt but i say this to people all the time...

Also I'm intersexed. When it comes down to it if you don't know what pre op transmen on testosterone look like naked, look it up. I get hard. I have pearly penile pauples for christ sake its a man thing... women dont get those they popped when i started testosterone.... It looks different, it smells different. It performs differently. It isn't a cunt. It's something inbetween a penis and a vagina. It's a trans dick I actually get hard.

i lived out of my moms house for 5 years and cecile would have taken care of me if I got bottom surgery.... she took care of my top surgery..... but i say you dont know what happened during those 5 years.. i say i wouldn't tell you if i had a hysterectomy or bottom surgery I'd only tell my partner and have her take care of me... I wouldn't want you at the surgery its too personal... i really wouldnt tell them none of them not even my dad i wouldn't make YouTube videos about it for the public...

Id only do private YouTube videos for me that my partner would record for me. And we would keep it a secret. I'd never make it public on YouTube...

so they dont really know... all they know is cecile took care of me while i lived at my moms when I got top surgery... she took a week off of work...so theoretically when I lived with her I could have gotten bottom surgery and I never would have told my family and if I wanted bottom surgery i would have gotten it while i lived with cecile or at least colleens.. I was out of the house for 5 years.... all the phases of surgery would have been completed by the time I moved home...

i got to be scared of Kenny robbing my xanax...

Debbie is a kleptomaniac. She talks shit about everyone behind their back. She was recently trying to convince my mother to throw me away in the hospital and let them straighten me out in the psych ward.. she is also transphobic and thinks I'm disgusting for transitioning.

Wayne isn't too bad but he tried to rape me when I was 14 bc he was sniffing glue. It didn't go far. He tried to kiss me in a car alone parked on the side of the road I said no. And he started the car got his cigarettes and brought me back home. But if I wasn't such a strong will child he would have raped me that night. If he was anymore fucked up. I don't hate Wayne. But I'd rather not see him although out of everyone I dislike him the least. He is a veteran with half a foot and his brother has schizophrenia and Parkinsons from antipsychotics and is the zombie at a nursing home. I actually feel bad for Wayne being stuck with Debbie. I don't hate him bc he didn't force himself on me and when I said no he turned on the car and drove me Home.

But Debbie sided with him when I told her what happened........ which is another reason Debbie is disgusting... it's not like I lied and said he raped me. I said he tried to make out with me and I said no and he drove me home. I told the truth and Debbie called me a lair. Even though she knew he was high on glue when I went with him to pick up cigarettes.

And yea I got to protect my xanax but this side of the family is gross and I don't want anything to do with them. They aren't my family.

As much as I want my "own" child and to see my eyes, part of me is like this DNA from this side of the family is too fucked up. And me and skye are the only ones that are semi normal.

Skye is the person who leaves bags of cat shit outside my only window with an air conditioner.. it hasn't happened for a while but she used to do that often until I flipped shit on her and threatened to kick it around the yard bc it's actually toxic..

David is coming and he is the guy who snow blowed my car into a snow mountain.... you couldn't even see my car. It permanently damaged my paint and could have actually froze the engine, it could have locked the brakes and destroyed more than just the paint... I was lucky it didn't. He paid me 300$ so we are good but last time I saw him he was so disgustingly drunk. And I'm sure he will be this time.

That's the party. That's who is coming. I got to protect my xanax but yea my family is fucked up..

I suppose my only solace if I was to have a biological child is that my mom had a different father than Kenny and Debbie. Same mother obv... but we come from some Russian guy she randomly fucked.... and we don't know anything about said Russian guy. Maybe that's why my skin is so dark besides for my father being dark skinned...

Also when I woke up my ear started pppping a lot.

[theygotlost]

FRANCIS. and donnie. and…… 🙈 ezzie… ezzie dax.

jesus christ this is long. im putting it under a readmore

franny:

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual. I don't think he realized it until his teen/adult years and now it doesnt really affect his life much now since he married piama so young but I can also see him using the fact he likes men as a way to rebel against lois (sidnote i wouldnt really consider lois homophobic if any of her kids came out she would be like "well i believe in equality so I'm going to make all you boys' lives equally miserable regardless of your sexuality. idgaf if you're gay go clean the toilet". um anyway). i just think it would be funny if piama had a celebrity crush or something and she was like wow hes sooo hot and francis would b like yeah he is 🤨😳

Gender Headcanon: i think hes a whiny little cis boy sorry. francisgender

A ship I have with said character: i do think he and piama are cute together :) i just wish she was in the show more and had an actual personality and stuff >:(((((((

A BROTP I have with said character: I like when he's with the rest of his family and gets to hang out with his brothers :) DEWER ESPECIALLY there is something so special to me abt him taking care of dewey and being kinder to him than malcolm and reese are

A NOTP I have with said character: Any other time in the early seasons when he dated a random girl for 1 episode i was like. um ok? but i didnt really HATE any of those

A random headcanon: uhhhh i feel like i should have something prepared to say here but idk. I think he listens to. weezer. fuck this 

General Opinion over said character: FEMINIST WOMEN LOVE FRANCIS. also you already know every opinion ive ever had about francis already but hes so pathetic and stupid I need to squish him between my thumb and forefinger

don of tello lol:

Sexuality Headcanon: HES SO GAYBOY. LOOK AT HIS GAY ASS ANIME GIRL STANCE WHAT IS THISSSSSS

Gender Headcanon: i dont think he is cis or trans i think he is a turtle . i think he can swimming in the water for algaes.  hope this helps

A ship I have with said character: nobody... tbh the ninja turtles are kinda unshippable to me. theyre just Creatures they dont “date”. But im not that far into the show yet so maybe there is another character that he can have a yaoi moment with later. But im not counting on it

A BROTP I have with said character: obviously all 4 of da turtle brothers are awesome together but DONNIE AND MIKEY ARE BESTIE VIBES!! Theyre my 2 favorites and i love their dynamic esp since they get paired up kinda often. I feel like they are the closest to each other out of all of them cause they’re both kind of the “weird” ones. Theyre neurodivergent and a minor. Also i like that donnie calls mikey “michael” its funny

A NOTP I have with said character: theres not really any viable shipping options to like or dislike . other than like the really reprehensible stuff like incest which is just like Why. do you know how sad and upsetting it is that so many tmnt blogs have to stipulate “no incest” in their bio? Can we all be normal and regular please?

A random headcanon: definitely the most online guy. Its really funny to enivision him being like a discord mod and getting into fights with people on reddit. Basically this ���

General Opinion over said character:  he’s kind so annoying but in a funny and endearing way (much like many of my favorite guys...) but he ourple so that makes up for it. My favorite tutle

ezzie:

Sexuality Headcanon: Dax and all their symbionts are like. Inherently and canonically bisexy

Gender Headcanon: everyone likes to take the “I’m having trouble with my pronouns!!” line out of context 😑 but for real she said “some mornings I don’t know if im a man or a woman until i pull back the sheet” which um... kinda transphobic... we CANCEL the ezri!!!! Jk she can be whatever you want baby. Any pronouns 

A ship I have with said character: MIRROR EZRI INTENDANT KIRA HOT SOAPY BOOBS YURI LESBIAN KISS

A BROTP I have with said character: she has no friends lol sorry. Theres not really any bestie vibes between her and sisko the way there was with jadzia

A NOTP I have with said character: ONE MILLION TIMES JEZRI. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! umm also when she started making out with worf i was like fml. That episode got me feeling so worfzia warrior but only because i was thinking “damn i wish jadzia was still here and worf was making out with jadzia instead.” it just feels weird to me 

A random headcanon: idk what do you want me to say. shes so tumblrina.General Opinion over said character: i know ive tormented you enough with the senorita awesome video but that really is how i see her. Im so sorry sam please dont be mad at me but I just don’t like her that much. She’s so #QUIRKY and its really grating. And I know that she didn’t formally complete her training but she is NOT a good ship’s counselor. If i went to my therapist and told her i was depressed or whatever and she was like “yeah sometimes i wanna kill myself too 😋 the #intrusivethoughts are so AWKO TACO!!” i think i would blow my brains out. But in Field of Fire when she was trying to solve that murder case and was hunting down that vulcan guy with a cool gun that was the ONE epsiode where i liked her and thought she was cool. I would like her more if she was badass like that more of the time

[misterbitches]

wait honsetly i do not give a shit if u like couples that i think are dumb or poorly written so if u get offended by this it’s ur fault

but im confused

am i stupid for not understanding the relationship between that high schooler and the old man? like....what am i missing here? it’s not healthy, or right, and it doesn’t really matter. it doesn’t mean no one can like it but i’m like confused at pretending that it’s like positive and healthy or whatever like at best it’s embarrassing and fucking stupid at worst it’s uhhhhh gross and probably illegal (not that it matterse bc crime is BS and this person wouldnt be persecuted anyway so)

like i know these writers don’t care, can’t write, think writing “shocking” things that everyone else has already done is like a big deal but they are doing the exact thing like with every ~pRobLEmAtIc~ storyline—which btw we need to start calling it what it is: misogynist, patriarchal, capital inducing, transphobic, toxic, fucking strange and also just a stupid way to get people to absorb information. like being specific about the actual problems not just atlking around it and alos breaking it down—it’s coercing people into liking it because it’s not about the content in their differences. they barely take that into account. i’m kind of surprised at the idea of longterm positivity in a relationship that cannot withstand that. and people do grow up and realize. 

i get their existence, i get why people would like it, but i don’t think you can sort of project positive things onto a relationship that is simply not positive and is not intended to be by the writers nature. even if it is accepted because harm is the norm, it upholds whatever power structures, so it’s like well fighting against that is the real story. like they exist but it’s not some statement about the lgbtq+ community particularly because that sort of relationship is common (in all communities) and uh not very good like i said and it NEEDS to be saved because that’s what these structures rely on it relies on being beholden to someone that you have no chance in matching at any point. it’s honestly a literal drag!

they dont hvae to break up or whatever but i kind of don’t get removing that reality from them. i mean i do because again this is what the writers do which is why it isnt effective, transgressive, or particularly fun (to me) and it’s so fucking common. it’s just like this IS the norm so it kind of needs to be pushed against.  i know they donnt give a shit but some of the comments im like.... am i imissing something did he like time travel to be an acceptable age or are we gonna accept he was lurking around a fuckin (immature as fuck) teenager. 

there’s def things that i like that i am also like “wow this is so gross” lmao there’s this brazilian movie about two brothers in a rship and they have an age gap and terrible parents and me and my best friend watched it when we were younger so we have like this place for it in our memory but we knew, and ofc back then, the immensely fucked up thing we were seeing. i can only stomach itif im extremely bored and it’s few and far between because IT IS S OFUCKING WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD but they have good chemistry but it’s not like i dont see it. the film exists in a fake world too but idk enough about the background of the film and the filmmaker to know what their point was but i do know that it was a huge deal ther ebc gay and also the taboo nature and it was like. u know. bonkers lmao. also they were just two white brazilian dudes with money, probably some missing class commentary. in its nature everything about it is not something that i like (not reality of brazil idc abt white brazilians) and ummmm being fucking related. but look you know it was fucking fukced up and weird and the dudes did have chemistry. like seriously that movie so gross lmao so like we all have the capacity but im not gonna pretend it fucking makes sense like EW AND i wanted them to end up togehter but i still yell “EWWW NOOOOO NO NO but theyre so hot they have good chemistry OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS OS BAD OH NO WHY IS THEIR DAD OKAY WITH IT OH NO WHAT AM I WATCHING?” and theyre so close it is SINCERELY creepy and the movie is like HERE U GO GUYS and u absolutely do not feel comfortable. it’s actually uncanny because everyone is comfortable with it in their lives that it makes it even more weird. it’s like picking at you consistently, you can’t ever forget. i don’t like that these shows make you forget. they allow you to remove this fucked up background and history and/or traumatic shit from your memory SIMPLY for enjoyment. and that’s not how life works, nor art. it isnt just there. and they say this has meaning. 

idk anyways that’s just how i feel cos i only thought whatshisface was like idk 5 yrs older than him and that wouldnt be better to me but i was rly like this nigga is 12 yrs older than him? bitch that’s literally r. kelly like im not joking LMAO im just like how r u pushing thirty dating a teenager my nigga i cannotttttt lmaoooo like ARE U NOT EMBARRASSED HOMIE? also like on a sociopolitical level this message actually fucking sucks like their marriage is shitty tbqh  lmao it took forever for taiwan to get to where it is and there’s still massive issues with their marriage laws (and what is afforded to people with marriage; just like eveyrwhere. marriage is important because of so many laws and rights and that is why it is necessary not just in the ceremony) so it’s like flabbergasting frankly people hav elike actually isssues or like papa+daddy about taiwan and these bozos are getting married like it’s boring at this point my god

idk

go back to film school lmao

imagine if this world gave a shit about  minorities and poor people even it’s literally just ......fuck man lmao i just cant let things rest. i didnt get this stupid degree and also just live 29 yrs on this earth to be able to like.....watch garbage without a critique so the garbage can continue meanwhile artists who give a shit have a harder time making things like listen kid. WRITE YOUR SCRIPTS. THESE FUCKERS CAN, YOU DO IT. look at this garbage! u can!!!! this is the advice i do not take myself

[baldinggoat]

Heyy. How's DOS2 playthrough going? I hope there are some things you like about it at least. I especially want to know your thoughts on the companions. I think there's a lot more creative freedom going into it, as it wasn't expected to be as "mainstream" as BG3. For example, I really like the design of the elves that are creepy and weird, with long necks and bark-like muscles. That might just be me though, as many people expressed dislike for the design. I wished that they made the cover art for Sebille to look like that, which unfortunately they didn't and opted for a generic elven look instead, but I guess we couldn't have everything.

I know i post negative stuff a lot but thats just bc im better at writting down criticism, but i wouldnt play it if i hated it, and i wouldnt have bought dos2, so yeah there are some things i really love about both! I like the humbleness when it comes to exploring/crafting, theres something kinda peaceful about gathering shells and finding milk and bread in rpgs. Idk. So far what i like about the writing in their games is the raunchy and dark humor, i just wish it wouldnt vilify queer-coded language/mannerisms. Like for example i loved the skeleton dude in the dungeon with the purge wand that was like “show me your...pecker” and then called ifan daddy, but i hated the one guy in the dungeon who was a sadist with the face ripper and uhhh was apparently inspired by the transphobic character buffalo bill so 🙃

I have been really really curious about how much power WotC might have over bg3 because i do feel like bg3 is “holding back” and making everything more generic when it’s coming to design and writing. I dont think common elves in dnd were ever really spectacular in design, but bg3 they do feel like “just humans with pointy ears.” It wouldve been cool if astarion had more of a silvery/blue complexion, and halsin was more dark olive one with like, leaves and moss growing on him. I also wish tieflings had a more diverse selection of demonic traits like goat pupils/legs. I do love the elves physical design in divinity (lanky and weird/alien), but i do have to point out i hate the bad appropriation of indigenous cultures for their clothing/writing. but like...thats every fantasy games problem. But yeah the weirder the elf the better honestly!!

Im barely into act 2, and i didnt realize whoever isnt in your party dies, so idk when ill get around to knowing any more about the red prince and beast. but im playing as lohse so i’m really enjoying all the wlw content in the writing for her! I even like how your able to change how she looks when you play her too! They all do look really different then the cover art, ifan is so much more tan in the game, i thought he was going to be some boring white dude with a missing/dead wife/kid but fane turning out to have the missing/dead wife/kid was infinitely funnier to me. I also really liked how sebille is sympathetic, she was the only one who didnt want to kill tarquin. I bet people were/are expecting astarion to be more sympathetic, but like...he really hasnt at all and hasnt shown any sign he will. I just think hes going to be bringing out the worst of the worst fandom, if you catch my drift? But anyway i do think your right and bg3 is suffering from being “mainstream”, i bought dos2 to sorta of look into more of larian’s writing to see what to expect and im noticing the difference right away!

[pastas-are-creepy]

When You Come Out As Trans

Imma be using characters that come to mind-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Homicidal Liu

Liu didn't expect that you'd come out to him today. He thought that you pulled him aside for another reason.

When you told the male that you were Trans, he was a tad surprised.

Liu pulled you into a hug, clearly accepting you before be froze. He began to apologize profusely for calling you by your deadname and using the wrong pronouns.

You had to tell Liu that it was alright since he didn't know that you were Trans before. Still, Liu felt terrible.

Sully wouldnt admit it,but he also felt terrible for calling you your deadname and such.

"Have you told Slender?" He'd ask you, placing a hand on your shoulder once he released the hug.

If you answered 'yes', Liu would nod and then proceed to take you with him to find some clothes to match with what you identified as.

If you answered 'no', Liu would give you an understanding look and nod. He wasn't Trans himself, but he wanted you to feel like a valid Trans person.

He'd then help you think of ways to tell the no-faced owner of the mansion that you were Trans. Liu would also be patient with you and wouldn't force you to come out if you weren't ready.

Once you were out and someone dares to deadname you, Liu would tell that person your correct name and pronouns the first time.

If this continued, Sully would start to get pissed and would take control, telling that person that they better call you (Name) or he'll beat their asses.

Eyeless Jack

He had a hunch that you were Trans.

From the discomfort you had when someone called you your deadname to when they called you a boy/girl.

Not to mention, you looked pretty uncomfortable with your body.

Once you pulled him aside and told him you were Trans, he gave you a soft smile. "I had a feeling that you were." He'd mumbled, pulling you into a hug.

You were out Slender already, so you didn't have to tell him that you were Trans again.

Jack then proceeded to go and look for something to help you bind/pack/stuff with until he was able to steal buy you what you needed.

You were grateful to have someone like EJ in your life.

EJ would be pissed if someone invalidates you. Nobody does that to his S/O. He'd peck your cheek and tell you to wait while he goes to fuck up that person

Hell, he'd even do the surgery you wanted on you, or have Nurse Ann do it for him.

Jane The Killer

Jane stood there, taking everything in quietly after you had told her. She didn't know what to say and she wanted to choose her words wisely

You thought that she wasn't going to accept you for who you were and opened your mouth to say something before you were interupted by a hug from the woman.

"Thank you for telling me." She murmured, a smile appearing on her features. She was very accepting of you being Trans.

Her acceptance was making you smile as well as you appreciated the fact that she accepted you. In fact, you began to cry from how happy you were becoming.

Jane's eyes widened as she took her hands and wiped your tears away, softly telling you to not cry.

Her eyes then landed on what you were wearing, which was the clothes of the gender you didn't identify as. "Let's get you some new clothes." She had murmured gently, leading you to a closet.

She will try to kill someone if they deadnamed or invalidated you. You mean a lot to her and she'd kill for you just to show how far she'd go for you.

Toby

Toby pulled you into a tight hug after you told him that you were Trans, this hatchet-swinging male showing how much he cared about you and he accepted you.

"I don't care what anyone says, you're always gonna be (Name) to me, not (Deadname)."

Validation from this boy was all you needed as you hugged him tightly in return. Tears brimmed the corners of your eyes as happiness filled you up like a cup.

Toby would then take off his hoodie and put it over your body, the brunette's smile still there.

"We should tell the others!- Wait, do you want to tell the others?"

Toby doesn't want to force you to do something you didn't want to do.

The two of you then tell your friends when you're ready, with a happy Toby by your side.

If anyone who you hate invalidates you, Toby will either get you to ignore them or he'll kick their ass.

Bloody Painter/Helen

So, funny story.

Helen pulled you aside one day and asked if you were Trans. You hesitated for a moment before confirming his inquiry.

Like EJ, he had a feeling that you were Trans. And now Helen was going to support you to the best of his abilities.

He'll correct someone if they said your deadname or used the incorrect pronouns.

"I don't know if an idiot like you will understand, but this is (Name) and (Name)'s pronouns are (Insert Pronouns Here).

He will steal from wherever just to get you things to help you bind/pack/stuff

And if you want surgery, he'll do anything he can to make sure you get your surgery.

Nurse Ann or EJ would do it. Lets hope that EJ doesn't steal your kidneys in the process.

Helen is a good boyfriend.

Sally

(Please keep in mind that I *will not* write ship content for Sally. If it's platonic, Sure.)

Sally blinked a few times, the girl not understanding completely.

"What does Trans mean?"

This innocent girl. She was so sweet and pure.

So, you began to explain what it meant to be Trans. Sally was trying her very best to learn what Trans meant.

It didn't take to long for her to understand what it meant, and once she understood, she smiled brightly to you.

"I'm happy that you're learning more about yourself! What do you want me to call you?"

Sally was willing to help you correct people with your name and pronouns, calling the people who invalidated you insensitive and mean.

She won't tell you, but her Uncle John was Transphobic.

Was Sally a Transphobe? No! She cared about you in a platonic manner and wanted you to be happy as yourself.

It was a good experience for someone as young to meet someone who was Trans and learn more about the LGBTQ community.

[trans-son-of-perdition]

Why I relate the Trench album to my own personal life and struggles.

A couple things before I begin. I am aware the true meaning of this album relates to Tyler Josephs career and struggles with mental health. However, art is subjective. It’s meant to be interpreted however you want. I’m not trying to invalidate his experiences, this is just how the album helped me and how I related to it in a way that made it important to my life and my coping with realizations I had around the time Trench was being teased and released. This post is not meant to attack a specific faith, however given my own opinions and viewpoints this post could be uncomfortable for current believing members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you are uncomfortable with exmormon viewpoints, this might not be the post for you, and I would like it if you didn’t try to force your views onto me as a result of this post. I will also give warnings for abuse mentions, cult mentions, mentions of suicidal thoughts, and mentions of transphobia. 

In this post, I’ll go through each song in the album and explain what it relates to in my life. I’ll also go into the lore of Trench and how I relate to the Clancy letters, as well as explaining why my icon and blog banner are what they are.

If you have not heard this album, I recommend it entirely. And even if you have, I recommend listening along to this post. You do not need to be a fan of Twenty One Pilots or the album to read this, however, and you do not need to understand the deeper lore or know about the Clancy letters to read this post.

With that being said, this will be a long post, so I’ll put the rest under a read more. 

Let me begin by briefly introducing myself. I am a 22, nearly 23 year old Exmormon who was born and raised in the church near the heart of Salt Lake City, Utah. I was a devout member of this church until I was 15, which was when little things started to not make sense anymore. This was when I was shown that it was okay to feel differently about my gender and sexuality, when I started to realize there were words to describe why I felt so weird about the concept of being a girl, etc. In a lot of ways, 15 was when my faith started slipping. There are journal entries from then where I’m crying about how I didnt want to feel the way I did, it was kind of the usual young mormon kid has a crisis over their sexuality and gender and tries to pray about it over and over but nothing changes. I even had a moment at 17 where I found a place to hide where my family wouldnt hear me and prayed for about an hour because I was questioning if the church even was true. I got no answer to this.

By the time I was 18, I no longer attended church. I still called myself mormon, and was actually kind of an apologist for years. It was only early last year that I started realizing something didn’t seem right, which was what led to a very long beliefs crisis and eventually me formally resigning from the church. It was also the year that repressed memories finally started to surface, and the true extent to which I had been abused and neglected started to show. Near the end of 2018, one of my best friends helped me escape Utah and get far away from my family, and currently I am living happily in Arizona far from the church’s influence.

Now enter the Trench album.

Instantly, when the Jumpsuit video was first released, something felt comforting about it. And every song since has been extremely comforting to me because of how I have related it to my life. Here is how each song ((and even the videos and extra lore)) have helped me and have related to my life as a secret exmormon who felt trapped in Utah.

Jumpsuit

This song actually came out just as I was questioning the church and realizing some things that were very long. With every little thing I found that was wrong, it was like my life crumbled a little more. I’ll admit, the “spirits in my room” lines I took much more literally, having lived in a very haunted house in a very haunted part of Utah, but the lines “Felt it in my youth, feel it when I’m old” also felt like a reassurance to me that the doubts and feelings I had in highschool when I was just beginning to question myself and my life were valid. Like they weren’t just a passing phase, this was something that had been going on my whole life. And then we have the bridge. 

I'll be right there But you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air If you need anyone, I'll stop my plans But you'll have to tie me down and then break both my hands If you need anyone

My life up to this point had been manipulated by those around me. My parents controlled my actions, I sat there and let them abuse and disrespect me. If any of them needed anything, I jumped to help. This had spread into my other relationships as I felt the need to be there for everyone, be the personal therapist to everyone, try to fix the emotions and problems of everyone I knew because my family had made me think thats what I needed to do. Like in the video, I was very much stuck under the spell of the “smearing” of the bishops. My family knew how to manipulate my emotions into feeling like I was in the wrong, like I inevitably had to love them and follow them no matter what. Which was why the “Cover me!” screamed at the end makes my heart beat faster. In his “Cover me!” I felt my heart scream it too. I couldn’t out loud, because my family would have yelled at me and made my life hell, but I could scream inwardly with him. I could feel myself running from the bishops with him. That song felt more joyous, more releasing, and more moving to me than an LDS Hymn had in years. Even as I’m writing this, the “Cover me!” makes me feel deep and strong emotions that at one point I would have called “the spirit” or “the holy ghost” and its stronger than any feeling I attributed to those things from talks or lessons in the church.

Levitate 

This song actually gave me courage to be more openly myself again. To stand up for myself and look for other options. To admit that the way my life had been was fucked up and that there were better things out there. The line referencing Car Radio was cool to me, because Car Radio was a big song for my depression and dysphoria. I wont go into it too far, since I’m focusing on Trench music, but I’ve always taken Car Radio as a good way to describe how I felt about my life, the world, and my own dysphoria and struggles with suicidal thoughts. And so having this song tied to rebellion against how my life had always been reference another song that had helped me with coping was so encouraging to me and honestly really cool!

This culture is a poacher of overexposure, not today Don't feed me to the vultures, I am a vulture who feeds on pain.  

I mean. Come on. I lived in Utah. Utah culture is oversaturated in the church. Its in the politics, in the laws, in the tv shows and on the radio. There’s a ward building everywhere you go. You cant do anything without seeing it somewhere, at least not in big cities ((or at least not living as close to downtown Salt Lake City as I did.)) Admitting to being exmormon while there felt like I was risking being separated from the rest of society. While this isn’t entirely true, I grew up seeing how my family treated exmos. The way they treated them like poor misguided souls that would eventually have their “sins come crashing down on them and turn their hearts back to the church”. 

The next few lines are kinda self explanatory. “Sleep in a well-lit room, don't let the shadow through,” both refers to the whole “haunted house” thing I mentioned ((a story I wont go into here tbh)) as well as me using my room as the one place I could hide and be more myself, discuss the things I believed and thought. “And sever all I knew, yeah, sever all I thought” has to do with the slow realizations of the lies I had been taught by the church my whole life. The next few lines refer to what sounds like him asking for help to keep away from the ledges, which both feels like my reaching out to online friends for support both to reassure me that I wasn’t crazy as well as their help in keeping me away from my increasing suicidal thoughts.

The video actually felt like my chosen family in general, them getting me away from these ideas and worries I had had burned into my brain at a young age, pulling me out of this DEMA and into their Trench, where we all could support each other and help each other realize that the false things of our past didnt have to shape our futures for us. And much like Tyler, I was still struggling with my parents pulling me back in by tugging at my emotions, making me feel guilty for my rebellion.

Morph

Lets be honest, in order to explain this one I need to post the whole song. It feels like a mixture of my beliefs crisis and dealing with an abusive and transphobic family, to be honest. 

Can't stop thinking about if and when I die For now I see that "if" and "when" are truly different cries For "if" is purely panic and "when" is solemn sorrow And one invades today while the other spies tomorrow We're surrounded and we're hounded There's no "above", or "under", or "around" it For "above" is blind belief and "under" is sword to sleeve And "around" is scientific miracle, let's pick "above" and see For if and when we go "above", the question still remains Are we still in love and is it possible we feel the same? And that's when going "under" starts to take my wonder But until that time, I'll try to sing this

Here we have my crisis, where I was doubting my own doubts and wondering if I was wrong and truly destined to end up in a lower kingdom away from my family and if I was sinning. It led to a fear of death, a fear of the end of the world, a fear of anything related to it because what if the mormons were right? Honestly, this is an ongoing thing that causes panic attacks to this day, and this song is where I turn to when these doubts happen.

If I keep moving, they won't know I'll morph to someone else What they throw at me's too slow I'll morph to someone else I'm just a ghost I'll morph to someone else Defense mechanism mode

A lot of people in the transgender community have brought up that this is a really relateable few lines. I’d like to add on top of it being about my gender, it also can relate to how I spent years pretending to be someone else in front of a lot of people ((and still am to some extent, I’m working on that.)) in order to keep myself safe.

He'll always try to stop me, that Nicholas Bourbaki He's got no friends close but those who know him most know He goes by Nico, he told me I'm a copy When I'd hear him mock me that's almost stopped me

This part I actually relate to my younger brother, who is almost violently abusive towards me and who I have had not only threaten harm to me, but have had mock me and tell me that nobody truly cared about or loved me, along with much worse things that were so intense and awful that when my sister ((the only family member I truly trust)) heard it and told our parents what happened, they were legitimately worried about me knowing about my suicidal thoughts and were bugging me the entire time I was at work and while I walked home to make sure I was safe and okay. My brother is a horrible person, and I honestly am afraid for whoever ends up marrying him based on his treatment of everyone else in our family. My sister and I have even shared our concerns with each other that he could one day lash out and hurt/kill one of us. Hes one of the biggest reasons I and her hurried to leave the state as fast as we could.

Well we're surrounded and we're hounded There's no above or a secret door What are we here for? If not to run straight through all our tormentors? But until that time I'll try and sing this

This again relates to my family, along with the opinions of the church towards transgender and gay people. I don’t think I need to go into what the LDS church thinks of us. 

The final part of the song, to me at least, feels like the loneliness of my situation, and wanting someone to be open with in real life that would understand where I was coming from. It also is about my reaching out online when I couldn’t find support in person.

My Blood

I actually don’t need to go into this too deeply. My whole chosen family relates to this song, and so hearing it reminds me of them. This song is how we are to each other and how we feel about each other. Pretty straightforward. Especially since this song likely is about Tyler’s brother, so the fact we all consider each other brothers and sisters works with this.

Chlorine 

Another straightforward one. It kinda feels like I’m singing this to the people of my past. My family especially, but also the friends that were part of why I hid so much about myself. They were toxic, but I made myself stay near them out of love. And as I “decayed”, the feeling of rebellion started to grow more until I found myself running for my life away from them all. 

I'm so sorry, I forgot you Let me catch you up to speed I've been tested like the ends of A weathered flag that's by the sea Can you build my house with pieces? I'm just a chemical 

This final part is more towards myself, however. How I forgot the true me, how I’ve been broken and hurt by these people, and how I need to finally build my life up again away from them all.

Smithereens

Another one that makes me think of my chosen family, and makes me think of my best friend who helped me escape Utah. I’m not a violent person, I actually consider myself a pacifist. But if someone threatened my loved ones I’d do everything I could to stop them.

Neon Gravestones

Yeah, I had to get to this one eventually. This song hit me hard the first time I heard it. If you haven’t heard any songs from this album at all, THIS IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD HEAR. It speaks very bluntly about how fucked up the media’s portrayal of suicide is, among other issues around that theme. Its beautiful in my opinion. 

Obviously yes, as someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, this song obviously does resonate with me. But this is where I’ll go into the deeper lore for a moment.

In the world of Trench it’s been mentioned that the Neon Gravestones are one of the big symbols of Vialism- the religion in DEMA that is a religion that worships false light. In Vialism, those who have died in the name of Vialism are revered, respected, and glorified. Now look at the church. How many people have had their hardships and deaths be romanticized by the church? How often have I heard people say that if you die in the name of the church, you will be exalted? How many LGBTQ+ youth in Utah have killed themselves because they think that its better to die before they have sinned? How often growing up has the “Martyrdom” of Joseph Smith been romanticized and used to show how committed to the church he was? For hell’s sake there’s a song WRITTEN ABOUT HIM saying that he now will be glorified for eternity because he died for the church! He’s held with more respect than even Jesus in the church! I could go on for hours about how I feel about the way the church treats death and how fucked up it is that there have even been cases you can find online where people have been told it would be better that they killed themselves than be gay or be an apostate. I’ll get more into the Neon Gravestones symbolism later when I reach the Clancy letters. 

The Hype

Yet another song about reaching out for support and community as I was realizing the truth about the church. I also had a huge falling out with a close friend around the time the album released, so having this song to cope with it helped too. It feels like the acceptance of the fact I was slowly getting out of brainwashing and programming I’d had since I was an infant, and though I didn’t know where I was going in life anymore, I knew that I would have the people I trusted there with me every step of the way as I became a normal member of society and began a new, better life. 

A lot of songs in this album seem to be very chosen family oriented. This one just feels like a reminder to myself that I’ll be okay.

Nico and the Niners

This one is a little obvious. But i’ll go through it regardless. 

East is up, I'm fearless when I hear this on the low East is up, I'm careless when I wear my rebel clothes East is up, when Bishops come together they will know that Dema don't control us, Dema don't control East is up

This song was released at the same time as Jumpsuit, and honestly some of the same things apply. I realized how much this really fit my life at the time as I was working on getting out. How the literal bishops and leaders of the church as well as the figurative “bishops” of my life were who I was rebelling against. DEMA is a something I have actively called Utah ((mostly Salt Lake City and all other areas in the main valley)) before, for reasons from it literally being a city surrounded in huge walls((both the mountains as well as figurative walls)) that circled around a main central part ((Temple square)) where the bishops resided and performed rituals in the name of Vialism. The next lines mention that they, the bishops, want you to make you forget. They want you to be docile. To conform to them. Follow their rules and laws and teachings without questioning. Ignore and forget the things they don’t say in the moment are truth. In the video, Tyler is seen quietly preparing to escape, hiding in his room as yet another ritual is performed elsewhere in the city. He sneaks out of his dark room, where he meets the Banditos. He seems hesitant and scared at first, but they calm him down and welcome him.

What I say when I want to be enough What a beautiful day for making a break for it We'll find a way to pay for it Maybe from all the money we made, razorblade stores Rent a race horse and force a sponsor And start a concert, a complete diversion Start a mob and you can be quite certain We'll win but not everyone will get out

During this part, Tyler is loudly rebelling in the center of a courtyard, where all the people hiding and silently judging the Banditos from their windows can see and hear them. He sings about escaping and finding ways to prepare to run away, escaping the walls of DEMA and the watchful eyes of the bishops and those devoted to them. It’s after this that his friends, the Banditos, help him escape into the night from DEMA before he can be caught by the bishops, but leaving a trace behind to hopefully inspire the children still growing up and learning inside DEMA.

I compare my chosen family to the Banditos a lot, something that will become clear when we get to a song later on. My open rebellion, being myself and leaving the church, leaving Utah and the judgmental eyes of those still devoted to the church and their teachings... This is what the song is to me. I’ll win, I’ll escape, I will do what I can to inspire my younger brothers and sister to follow me out when they can. I’ll do what I can to help anyone still stuck in their DEMA, but in the end I had to leave. I had to listen to my chosen family and run. I had to get out of those walls before the metaphorical bishops of my life, my family, dragged me back down again into them and broke me further. In that way, Nico and the Niners is both the presidency of the church, but its also my parents. 

Cut my Lip

This one actually speaks to how I used to be, letting myself be abused and mistreated. The cycle of trying to escape but being dragged back in. Knowing I was being hurt but letting my programming and the thought that I had to love my family no matter what hurt me over and over. But though I’m bruised, I’ll keep moving.

Bandito

This is the big chosen family song. We have called ourselves Banditos a lot. I personally consider myself a Bandito. 

This is the sound we make When in between two places Where we used to bleed And where our blood needs to be

We are all in Trench right now, to various extents. I am mostly out of my DEMA, having physically left it but still dealing with the mental battles and the pulls from the “bishops” to return. Other members of my chosen family are dealing with abuse, neglect, trauma, mental illnesses, isolation, etc. We all have our own DEMA to escape, and we all do what we can to pull each other back into Trench and support each other as a family. 

In city, I feel my spirit is contained Like neon inside the glass, they form my brain

In Utah I felt trapped. Confined by what I could and could not say around my family because I was afraid of what would happen if they knew some of the things about me. About my opinions of the church. I had realized my brain had been manipulated and formed into what the church wanted, and I was starting to break free of it.

But I recently discovered it's a heatless fire Like nicknames they give themselves to uninspire

The opinions of my family and the church have begun to feel less important and the thought of rebelling against this has become easier and I have become more confidant in my beliefs. 

Begin with bullet, now add fire to the proof But I'm still not sure if fear's a rival or close relative to truth Either way it helps to hear these words bounce off of you The softest echo could be enough for me to make it through

I’m still afraid though, and I still have doubts pop up. And until I can fully break free of the brainwashing I was subject to for 21 years of my life, I’ll still have those doubts and fears. But hearing my chosen family reassure me and validate those feelings I have about the church helps me get past it and grow as a person.

As far as Sahlo Folina? We use it in my chosen family. When we see each other say it, we hurry to support each other and pull each other back from the personal bishops we have. For those who don’t know, Sahlo Folina in the lore is the call the Banditos cry out when they are stuck alone in Trench and need help. It doesn’t have a canon meaning otherwise, but many people have given it the meaning of the joy or act of creating. And my chosen family and I use this phrase to warn each other of panic attacks, or of dysphoria, or of a moment when we just need a little validation. This song is so important to us, and is one of the most beautiful songs on the album in my opinion. If you haven’t heard it, take a look at imabandi.to, its an interactive music video for the song that explains some of the deeper lore of Trench and is in general visually stunning.

Pet Cheetah

Honestly this is really just a bop, but its good for when I feel angry. Not just even at the church, in general its a good anger song because of how intense it feels. It also speaks to the isolation I felt, how I tried to calm myself down from my doubts for the longest time. It helps that the song kinda has a “Fuck it” moment halfway through.

I'm done with tip-toeing, I'll stay in my room My house is the one where the vultures are perched on the roof

The song then expresses the fear of losing everything, but its too late now. The anxiety is raising again, but I’ll do what I can to relax and keep going. 

Legend

This song actually makes me cry, because it reminds me of my grandparents. They were the two I was closer to than my own parents, and I was destroyed by their deaths. Even though I still feel them with me, I deeply miss them and I was scared for so long that I would never be able see them again because according to the church, I would have not been allowed to be near them again for eternity. “I look forward to having lunch with you again.” is the line that has made me break down crying before, because I know that no matter what happens, it’ll be okay. I wont go into my current beliefs here, but I know that my grandparents love me and that no matter what I’ll still get to see them again one day. 

Leave the City

And now that i’m crying from legend, let me personally sob for a moment about Leave the City, because this song is what I played as I finally left Utah. On my main blog, the title comes from this song. 

I'm tired Of tending to this fire I've used up all I've collected I have singed my hands It's glowing Embers barely showing Proof of life in the shadows Dancing on my plans  They know that it's almost They know that it's almost over 

This song expresses how I felt from my depression, the doubts, the abuse, the ongoing crisis as I realized more and more how much I had been lied to. I was being reassured by my chosen family and my other friends that it would be alright, that I’d get away and life would be better. Now that I’ve been out of that state for several months I can say they were 100% right, but while in the moment I was drained and tired and just wanted to be free. And the knowledge that one day I would leave was what kept me going and kept me alive.

But this year Though I'm far from home In TRENCH I'm not alone These faces facing me They know What I mean

Again, this feels like my chosen family, my Banditos. My real family, the people I trust most. The know who I am. They know where i’m coming from. And though I’m far from my end goals in life, and I’m still here in Trench, I am not alone. I have them with me, and for now that is what matters. 

Now, onto the lore and Clancy letters. Because honestly my relating to this doesn’t just stop at the music.

The following are quotes from the many “Clancy letters” that have come out sine the album was being teased.

Note 1:

As a child, I looked upon Dema with wonder, today, I am wrought with frustration, as I spend each day squinting for a glimpse of the top of the looming wall that has kept us here. It was upon my ninth year that I learned that Dema wasn’t my home. This village, after all of this time, was my trap. 

Before I became realized, I had deep affection for Dema. There was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest. Streets and locations were dependable, and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. Once a task was taught and understood, we delighted in our ability to complete our obligations timely, and felt secure in knowing tomorrow's duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. We all worked to represent our bishop with honor, and knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency.

Note 2:

To refer to Dema as my home has never felt accurate. Dema, to me, has simply been the place that I’ve existed, or, the 'slot' they've put me in. I've heard stories about the idea of "home," and its depiction has always seemed warm from the storyteller's description. There was a romantic ownership of the place they inhabited that I admired, but could never relate to.

Note 3:

Am I the only one who realizes that we've been lied to? Am I the only one not afraid of the notion that the nine have hijacked our trust, and extinguished the hope that once motivated our existence? We used to close our eyes and picture a better life, now this city is full of dry eyes caught in a trance of obedience, devoid of any trace of an identity.......My hope of something more is all I have in this rigid tomb, and I will not let it die.

I wanted to quote the fifth note, but the whole thing feels relatable to me as someone who left Utah. So here is the full letter:

I've made it out. I feel weightless. I know that place had always held me down, but for the first time, I can feel the unity that I had hoped for. It's been three nights now, and my breathing has changed - it's slower, and more full. It's like the air out here is actually worth taking in. I can see it back in the distance, and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't constantly on my mind. I wish I could turn that fear off, but maybe the further I go, the less that fear will affect me. I feel betrayed by what I assumed was home. If I ever end up back there, I won't be able to look at it the same way. They are asleep. They're so sure that they know the truth, and carry on throughout their day with the same meaningless tasks. They've forgotten to look up, and to look outward, to understand that this isn't about 'in there.' This is about 'out here.' This new world surrounds me. I used to think the walls back home were massive- these green cliffs engulf me, and place me right in the middle- Trench is quite precarious at times, and it's easy to grow weary. But it's real, and it's true, and I'd much rather endure reality than to mindlessly be obedient to a life that someone else created for me. I've obsessed about this world for so long, that it feels more like home than anything I've experienced. Somehow, in this vast openness, I feel more protected than ever. The landscape feels endless, and I've found myself walking for hours without any true evidence of getting further down. But I've seen plants and colors out here that I'm not sure I've witnessed before. There's a beauty in the strangest places,- and the curiosity of what's next continues to motivate me. I wonder who else is out here. If what i assumed inside is true, there's got to be more like me. Sometimes I'll feel a presence, only to look up and see nothing. It's just another thing that I'm afraid of that also excites me. It all just confirms all of the things that I hoped to be true for all of this time. I am out here and I am very alive. I'm sometimes scared, but always discovering something new, and I will not stop. Cover me!

I’m not going to go into why these relate, it should be clear from my explanations of the songs why I can relate to these letters. If you are exmormon yourself, you might understand already anyway. 

Now finally, I’ll go into the letters in the site that I mentioned earlier, imabandi.to. These are actually where my blog icon and banner come from.

Remember when I explained Vialism? One of the notes goes further into it. 

The text reads “The necropolis glorifies the early graves of those who lost themselves along the way. Let us overthrow this concept as a symbol of dedication to and celebration of life.” and is accompanied by a caption that reads: 

STEADFAST IN OUR REBELLION AGAINST THE TEACHINGS OF VIALISM, WE TURN THEIR FALSE DOCTRINE UPON ITS HEAD. PROTECTED MORE THAN EVER, THE DOUBLE BARS ARE A SYMBOL OF LIFE AND HOPE. 

Overturning the symbol of false doctrine in order to celebrate the concept of life and being alive. This is what I want to do. Life should be enjoyed and celebrated and not controlled and given up for false teachings.

The icon for this blog is the Vulture symbol of the banditos. It comes from this note:

It reads: “The fear and pain shall not be elements that stop us, but what feeds us to persevere. The vultures above are our symbol of turning death to life.” And its caption reads:

WE ARE VULTURES. THE VULTURE SEES BOTH WORLDS, DEVOURING DEATH. A SYMBOL OF OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TURN DEATH INTO LIFE. MAY WE LEARN FROM WHAT WE'VE LOST, AND COMMIT TO LIVING.

So another symbol of committing to being alive and to life itself. It is to me a symbol of rebellion against the things I was taught and becoming my own, free person.

Finally, the banner I use on my blog. 

This one I have compared to being an apostate. The caption reads: 

THOSE WHO SEE CORRUPTION INSIDE THE LIES OF DEMA FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY TO GET OUT, AND ATTEMPTED ESCAPE SHOULD BE HONORED. MANY ARE PUNISHED WITH THE FAILED PERIMETER ESCAPE BADGE, BUT WEAR IT PROUDLY. IT IS THEIR SYMBOL OF THE BANDITØ UNDERGROUND — THE FEW, THE PROUD, AND THE EMOTIONAL. 

The label apostate is used often by people in religions as a label meant to shame, but we use it proudly. There are posts I have even seen about how “Apostate” means freed slave, and how it is a thing to be proud of. Much like how the note above says: “ We shall call our label of delinquince by a new name. This is who we are, and let us never be ashamed by the penalty placed upon us by false authorities.” I’m not ashamed to call myself an apostate anymore. I feared it at one point, but now I embrace it. It is what I am. I am freed, I am openly defying and rebelling against the false teachings of my childhood. And seeing this note was what solidified me relating this album and its lore to my life entirely. In my opinion, I escaped my DEMA. I saw the outside of the walls and was helped by those around me to escape them and find true freedom beyond them, in Trench. And although it will be a long time before I am truly free from the trauma and leftover programming that happened to me while I was in the LDS church, I have those around me who will reassure me and support me and let me know that I am never alone.

Anyway. I’m finally at the end of the post. Thank you for reading this. Cover me!

[moth208]

omg i used to have a few friends that are friends with moon??? and thank god after that drama i know their real faces now *hugs if u want*

i wouldnt say stress about you having friends of friends etc etc that are friendly w moon just. i do not want anyone whos still hellbent on defending him, button, hayden, et cetera, anywhere near me cause, you knowwwwwwwwwww

i dont understand why moon refuses to address that button is a transmed. he defended a transmed anti-sjw who believes reverse racism exists and is a self proclaimed “MRA”. he defended button because i said button had transphobic and fatphobic sentiment in their about (they did lol) and because i found out button had drawn sh*ta and used transmisogynistic slurs (yeah yeah it was a year ago blah blah blahhh i didnt know that at the time but also button only defended themself when this was brought to light and didnt condemn any of that so im gonna say they didnt actually give a shit and dont actually care lol)

i never got an apology from moon, contrary to what he says; he sent an apology to one of my friends (right after apologizing for dragging said friend into drama lol???) instead of confronting me directly to apologize. i never got an apology from hayden or button or literally ANYONE in that server for being misgendered, called a thing, saying i suicide baited someone id never met, or any of the several messages with slurs in em

i dont understand why moon ignored that all the people calling out sayters transphobia were also trans. i dont understand why moon defended button hating “identity politics” yet he himself said “i cant be transphobic im literally trans”. i literally do not understand a single thing moon has done thus far. i dont understand why moon never responded to art about why he said i suicide baited someone id never fucking met. i dont fucking understand why hes reopening the server where his fucking friends misgendered me, likened me to an abuser for calling out bullshit, called me a thing, oh who am i kidding everyones seen the post. 

im tired. i dont care if you have a friend whos friends with moon im not going to track you down and break your kneecaps or anything. i know people cant control their friends. im just fucking exhausted. i dont want anyone who even remotely supports these people near me or my art.

tdlr; anyway yeah i appreciate the support thanx ily

[ixnova]

i was about to rip into the OP but luckily others did it for me. Some of y'all read too much into it and are too far gone into the "down with cis" movement, not all cis ppl are dickheads like i know not all trans ppl are extremists like OP. The "you look like a real women" one also really mad me mad because I have a trans friend who's really uncertain of how well hes passing and it effects his self esteem and I really don't think me reminding him and treating him as a man and being extremely obvious that he's a man is NEGATIVE or rude in any way. He greatly appreciates when I'm like "man based on old photos compared to new you really do look like a man now, wouldnt even second guess you." Thats called positive reinforcement and telling your friend their transitioning is going really well and they should be happy and proud. Also the last one as well, I believe you should tell ppl you're trans if you're starting an inmate relationship of any kind with them bc some ppl are transitioned so well, so a cis person may think you're cis and get a surprise when in the sheets. If they are transphobic about you telling them, drop them like a bad habit, and if you're honest and they are still your friend but dont want a relationship with you, do not do what most do and take that as also transphobia, its called a preference and thats okay. You'll find someone else who doesnt mind what a trans person has and will still be in that sorta relationship with you so don't shit on the ones who change their mind when such a big factor like that comes foward.

What Cis People Say To Trans People Vs. What We Hear

By Meredith Talusan and Rory Midhani

TRANSlator 3000: Amazing technology translates cissexist BS!

“Oh you’re trans but you look so good!” “Trans people are ugly.”

“I’ve never met a trans person before.” “I assume I can identify any trans person.”

“I would date a trans person.” “Trans people are usually undateable so I deserve a prize.” 

“You look just like a real woman.” “Trans women aren’t really women.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me about being trans.” “Trans people who don’t tell me they’re trans are deceivers and liars.”

“I loooooove trans people!” “I fetishize trans people.”

“It’s so hard to switch pronouns.” “Trans people are an inconvenience to me.”

“I don’t have a problem with trans people.” “I have a problem with trans people.” 

[groundramon]

...what kind of opinion would my characters have on nonbinary identities, and if none of them would already be bigoted towards the idea, can I make a character into the nonbinary equivalent of a bigot

these are the kinds of things my brain thinks about and because I have no self restraint, I’m going to answer for all of my characters (under a read more tag because this’ll probably get long)

also if you dont want to see my characters as anything other than all-loving and innocently liberal beans, then you mayyyy not wanna read this, but I mean I’m nonbinary/agender and I still love these guys regardless so //thumbs up

Mich, at any point within EOTP’s story, doesn’t even know nonbinary identities are a thing.  I’m sure he’d eventually hear about it somewhere, but he probably would just dismiss it as some internet fad and not think twice about it.  If he was presented with the idea and had it fully explained to him, though, I dont think he’d quite understand it.  Mich probably would learn not to be transphobic/homophobic because Llabu is gay and trans (have I said that officially before? idk but it’s official now) and wouldn’t put up with his shit, but obviously more people know about transgender mtf or ftm people than nonbinary people and Llabu probably wouldn’t bother explaining it to him since it doesnt concern her and she may not even agree with the sentiment, who knows.  So yeah, he just wouldn’t understand it.  But Mich also doesn’t like pissing people off, so if he knew someone who was nonbinary and didn’t respond to he/him or she/her pronouns, he’d probably just avoid using pronouns with them altogether.  If someone took the time to gently walk him through it, he might warm up to the idea, though; Mich does lean liberal politics-wise, and depending on how interested he got into social rights, he may or may not also gain a respect for nonbinary identities.

Sarah’s in the same boat as Mich; she just doesn’t know what they are, and probably wouldn’t care to try and understand them.  Like Mich, she isn’t intentionally going to go after people who identify as nonbinary and harass them; she just doesn’t understand it.  UNLIKE Mich, she might still use binary pronouns for them, but if the person called her out multiple times then she’d finally get it through her skull to stop.  Also unlike Mich, Sarah doesn’t lean liberal (I dont think, anyways, but that may change) so she has less likelyhood of gaining respect for them later in life.  But she still wouldn’t care what people do in their own free time, so long as it doesn’t hurt others, so she wouldn’t hate nonbinary people or anything

Out of all the Oneiromon characters, it feels weird to say that Devin’s the one most likely to accept nonbinary identities.  I’m still trying to get a read on how he’d act when he’s older, but he seems like he’d have an interest in representing minority groups within the already-minority LGBT+ community (AKA nonbinary people, pansexual people, asexual people, ect) whether because that’s just the kind of guy he is or because he actually identifies as one of those things.  During the story he has no idea what the hell nonbinary identities are, though, but he’d be accepting of the idea if he was approached with it.

Llabu, well, I’m not entirely sure about her.  Given that she’s trans herself, it’d be kind of weird if she didn’t support them, buuuut on the other hand those kinds of people exist, so I mean...  I feel like she’d either support them in spirit but not actively orrr she’d be the harshest on them out of all the Oneiromon characters because she thinks nonbinary people give a bad name to “actual” transgender people.  Idk man, I dont WANT her to be anti-nonbinary but it feels like that’d be in her political views D:

And I’ll just say, for the rest of the revealed Oneiromon cast so far: Oneiromon are naturally accepting of nonbinary identities by nature, so Triopmon, Amp, Ron, Lily, Velvet, and Astrea (despite being a day old lmfao) all accept nonbinary identities as just as valid as any other gender.  Oneiromon identifying as nonbinary is still pretty rare, but given that gender is entirely a choice in the Oneiromon world and you can pretty much change it at any time, and they’re all born sexless anyways, they wouldnt have a problem with it.

Luce wouldn’t have a problem with nonbinary identities and would probably support them if asked, but not actively campaign for ‘em.  Luce also has his own problems so it’s possible he would be more passionate about it if he had any passion left in him at all.

Since Grace’s dad is bigoted to every LGBT+ identity because he’s a hardcore Christian, and Grace will do literally anything to spite her father, Grace would support nonbinary identities.  Not only would she just...not care...but again, she’d do anything to spite her father.  That’s not exactly being a good ally but it’s still...a thing...I guess

Shawn, out of all the characters I listed, would probably be the biggest advocate of nonbinary rights.  I mean, she probably identifies as a demigirl (given that she’s loosely based on 13-year-old me [who did technically identify as a demigirl but didn’t bother mentioning it because i used the same pronouns anyways] except more lovable and also smarter, even though Shawn is still a fucking idiot) but beyond that, she’d be a big supporter of equal rights for all sexes, races, genders, sexualities, ect.  She’s one of those people who put same-sex relationships on a pedestal, if thats any consolation (not “omg its so sinful aaaa im sinning1111″, but “omg theyre so cuuuute I’m going to ship everything gay even if they’re in a heterosexual relationship/the creator has flat-out said that they’re straight and not bi or pan”)  And she’d worship a character who came out as nonbinary in mainstream media tbh

Hunter’s uneducated.  Like Mich and Sarah, he wouldn’t really understand it.  But given that it means a lot to three of his friends, he’d at least try to understand it.  He wouldn’t succeed, but he would try, and would do his best to use the right pronouns.  He’d probably be that guy who fucks up all the time though, and apologizes a lot when you tell them that they used the wrong pronouns |D

Annnd finally, the last one I’ll write because holy shit its after midnight, Corey.   For some reason I feel like Corey’s saying “nah nah, enough with that made-up shit” when it comes to nonbinary identities, but I dont know w h y he’d say that.  Like, I dont know his thought process behind it; all the others just dont understand it, but I know Corey would be smart enough to comprehend it.  Maybe...he’d do it to try and fit in with Hunter’s friends?  I feel like Hunter’s friends would be assholes who say “lol nonbinary? what the fuck are those tumblrinas doing!!! XDDD” (I know I say stuff like that myself, but shhhhhh dont tell anyone) and Corey would’ve picked up on that overtime.  Corey would only actively attack a nonbinary person to make himself look cool.

And I’m not going to bother writing for my ever-expanding roster of characters for Majjikku or Branching Paths, mostly because they dont come from the human world and I’d have to work out more about their culture before I answered this question for ‘em.