#i wouldn't date him i'd be too afraid of the consequences.

[nostalgia-tblr]

explained to someone my GREAT idea of fic where Regent Frigga murders Odin and then rules through her sons, and how this cannot ever be written because such a move would be way too bold and decisive for a woman destined to get fridged in the second movie :(

[xueyuverse]

Now I Want You: A HuaLian fanfic, chapter five

Trigger warnings

This is an +18 fanfic, so it may and/or will contain themes such as suicide, physical and psychological abuse, violence and cruelty, explicit sex, complex or highly impactful sexual situations, and rape. Be careful when reading, do not force yourself and protect yourself.

Contains age gap, Xie Lian is 20 years older than Hua Cheng here.

────୨ৎ────

It had been two weeks since Hua Cheng left.

Xie Lian sighed as he swept the street unhappily.

“What made you feel like this, Lao-Xie?” Shi Qing Xuan asked. “You seem dead inside.”

He shook his head, leaning on the broom. “Someone I like had to go back to his town. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“Hmm, could that person be your date that day?”

He nodded and kicked a pebble. I miss San Lang, he thought sadly.

“Well, why don’t you come over to my place later then? We can hang out together, clear our heads a bit, have some fun.”

Xie Lian raised an eyebrow at him. “You barely stay at your house.”

“That’s why I told you to go out. You would come to my house only for we meet there.”

“Hm. Alright. And why don’t you like staying in your own house, by the way?”

Shi Qing Xuan shivered. “It’s because of my roommate, Xuan Ji, she’s so scary.”

“Ah? Why? Did she do something?”

He looked around, as if he was afraid that Xuan Ji would suddenly appear there, and approached him to whisper, “She is a martial artist, born with a silver spoon in her mouth, her family were generals. She betrayed her family for a man and had to come here after being rejected by him. She is completely obsessed with this guy, and ever since she found out that I not only know him but am also, quote, ‘close to him’ she has been completely crazy about me, even though I don't even like him!”

Xie Lian blinked, confused by the amount of information. “Huh? Who is this? How do you two know each other?”

Shi Qing Xuan snorted and sat down on the sidewalk, letting the broom fall to the ground.

“Pei Ming, he was my brother's friend, I came here because I don't want him to be hovering over me, but he's still trying to find me even after all these years. I've had to change my number several times because of this, and delete my details so he wouldn't find my address. But Xuan Ji found out and freaked out, slapping me while yelling that I can't have him, that I'm not allowed to talk to him, as if I wanted to. Look,” he pointed to his cheek, where there was indeed a red scratch, “she hurt my pretty face!”

Xie Lian shook his head, very confused. “Why don’t you accept his help? If he wants to find you, then he can certainly get you out of this house, right?”

He snorted. “I'd rather deal with her unhealthy outbursts than see Pei Ming in front of me again. If Xuan Ji is like this today, you can be sure it's a consequence of this guy's actions, you don't know what he's capable of doing when it comes to having a beautiful woman in the same bed as him. These two deserve each other. Besides, luckily we don't see each other much, I get home before her, or when she's already asleep, and I leave earlier. We rarely see each other, so it's possible to keep the situation under control when she doesn't decide she needs to kill me.”

Why do people like to complicate things so much? Xie Lian wondered. So much possessiveness… it will end up destroying her one day. Or someone else.

“You can stay at my place for a while, you know? Or move in with me for good.”

Shi Qing Xuan shook his head. “No, you have a teenager to take care of, I don’t want to be a problem.”

“You wouldn’t be. The invitation will still stand, if you change your mind, just tell me.”

“Don’t worry, Lao-Xie, right now I just want you to really come out with me, get out of your shell for a bit! Ban Yue can come too, if you want, take advantage of the fact that tomorrow is Saturday!”

Xie Lian laughed and nodded.

***

“When I asked you out, I was imagining a restaurant, shopping, or just hanging out at the lake, not this! OH MY GODS!” Shi Qing Xuan screamed as the giant serpent descended at an extraordinary speed towards him, and he had to jump onto a tree to dodge it.

Xie Lian and Ban Yue laughed as they synchronously stabbed their swords into the demon's hide all the way to the hilt. He backed away, and she activated the spell on the swords, which moved swiftly in opposite directions, one toward the head and the other toward the tip of the tail, causing grotesque tears and making the snake writhe and weaken.

Xie Lian's sword split the demon's head in two vertically, and its body fell to the ground with a crash.

Weak demons like this would appear every now and then in this village, and they were an excellent way to train and stay active. Although Xie Lian could not use his qi, he was still a martial artist and his skills had not regressed, so fighting demons was still an interesting hobby.

“You assured me that you are also a cultivator, I imagined that this situation would not be dangerous for you,” he said, sitting against the tree that Shi Qing Xuan was still hanging from while Ban Yue collected the venom dripping from the snake’s fangs, which would crumble into ashes at any moment.

“Just because I’m a cultivator doesn’t mean I’m good at fighting, nor that I’m prepared for it,” Shi Qing Xuan retorted, climbing down from the tree to sit beside him.

“If you’re a cultivator, how can you not be good at fighting?”

He shrugged. “My shifu[1] always wanted to understand this too. I'm pretty good at understanding theory and history, but not fighting.”

“Would you be a scholar, then?”

“Not exactly, I'm good at learning, not at discovering new things and being revolutionary, but I would like to be a shifu, if I had the opportunity.”

Xie Lian smiled.

Ban Yue ran towards them after collecting ten bottles of poison, the snake behind her was already falling apart. “Unfortunately, that’s all I got,” she said with a pouty expression, sitting down across from them and showing them the vials filled with sticky, greenish liquid. “I hope this is enough to create new medicine.”

Shi Qing Xuan raised his eyebrows. “Do you intend to use this to make remedy?”

“Vaccine and injection, to be more specific,” Ban Yue was smiling.

“I don’t know whether to be scared or amazed.”

“Ban Yue is a good healer,” Xie Lian said, standing up. “Shall we go? I’m hungry.”

The other two stood up as well.

“I’m dead. I’ll never go out with you guys again.”

Shi Qing Xuan was right, Xuan Ji was a truly dangerous woman.

After eating at a snack bar, they accompanied Shi Qing Xuan home. However, as soon as he opened the door, a tall woman with long black hair hanging loose, wearing ripped jeans, a short thin-strapped undergarment, and combat boots, appeared in front of him like a hurricane with an old computer in her hands, her face was closed and stormy. Shi Qing Xuan laughed nervously.

“Xuan Ji, you’re already home! And you’re still awake? What happened?”

Xuan Ji pressed the space button on her computer, turning it directly to a message tab. An unknown number had sent him a few messages saying, “Hey, Pei Ming here. Stop running away from me, where are you?” Shi Qing Xuan swallowed hard and laughed a little more.

“Hahahahahaha, what is this?”

“‘What is this?’” She pitched her voice to imitate his speech, sounding shrill. “You tell me! What does Pei Ming want with you so much?!”

“HahahahahahahahahahowcouldIhaveknownhahahaha…”

Xie Lian and Ban Yue looked at him worriedly and took a step forward, sensing a fight.

“STOP BEING CRAZY!” Xuan Ji threw the computer to the ground, destroying it. 

Shi Qing Xuan turned pale, his eyes blinking nervously.

“My poor computer…”

Xuan Ji approached him with her arms outstretched, as if she wanted to pull him by his hair.

"STAY AWAY FROM HIM YOU GIGOLO SHITTY BITCH!!!!!"

Shi Qing Xuan ran away from her while laughing in despair, and Xie Lian stepped between them, causing the woman to stop and look at him in confusion, as if she had only just noticed his presence.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“It doesn’t matter to you, just stop bothering him. Is destroying other people’s things because of rejection something normal for you?”

Xuan Ji’s expression turned stormy again, and she flew at him, who managed to catch her and restrain her against the ground, pinning her wrists behind her back. It was tough, the woman kept struggling and was still strong. Xie Lian frowned, stressed.

"Ban Yue, help Shi Qing Xuan pack his things, I won't allow him to stay here.”

“No!” Shi Qing Xuan retorted, causing Xie Lian’s gaze to turn to him. “Lao-X—Fang! Lao-Fang, it’s okay!”

“Do you really want to stay here?” Xie Lian questioned sternly.

“Yes!”

“Then, help Ban Yue pack Xuan Ji’s things, you two can’t be together in the same place under any circumstances.”

Xuan Ji let out an inhuman scream, like a roar. “FENG QING YOU BASTARD!!! YOU CAN'T THROW ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE!!!”

“THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE, WE SPLIT THE RENT YOU LUNATIC!!!” Shi Qing Xuan shouted back, rushing with Ban Yue to Xuan Ji's room, who was now struggling as if in an earthquake. Xie Lian had to press his knee into the woman’s lower back, which he didn’t want to do because it could cause a serious injury, and it really made her hold back.

Now that Xuan Ji was calmer, he could finally notice that the calf on her right leg was crooked and swollen, as if it had been broken and had not received any treatment. With how fast and agile Xuan Ji was, Xie Lian didn’t even realize that she was disabled. It was truly impressive that she could fight, or even stand, in this state.

Ban Yue and Shi Qing Xuan returned with plastic bags, backpacks, and luggage, and Xie Lian said, “Ban Yue, do you have an immortal binding rope with you?” She nodded, and from her qiankun[2] bag, she pulled out and threw to Xie Lian a golden rope that he used to bind Xuan Ji.

The woman snorted. “Okay. Now what? What do you intend to do? Put me in a car you don't have and send me away?”

The three of them looked at each other.

Xuan Ji didn’t end up in a car, but on a bus for a one-way trip to another city in the north.

“I know someone who would be delighted to welcome you,” Shi Qing Xuan said. Xuan Ji herself, upon learning that she was going north, had become surprisingly well-behaved and even excited, as if she had just received the gift of her dream trip. When Xie Lian removed the rope that bound her arms to her body, already knowing that she would not struggle again, all the woman did was run on her own into the bus.

Well, Xie Lian could guess who Shi Qing Xuan was sending Xuan Ji to. He silently wished Pei Ming good luck.

***

A month had passed since Xie Lian last saw Hua Cheng.

In the middle of the night, sipping valerian tea on the window seat, Xie Lian looked up at the stars, wondering where and how Hua Cheng was. He sighed and tsked, then took a sip of his tea.

I miss San Lang, he sighed again.

His days had become monotonous again since Hua Cheng left. Except for his time with Ban Yue, which he had been spending more time with her, whether it was the lake or some nice restaurant in the village, or watching movies she wanted. In fact, the films the girl had been choosing recently were more psychological horror than slasher, which had been the only ones she had been watching for at least two years. Maybe she had already watched everything in that genre.

He sighed again, got up and put the empty mug on the bedside table, and lay down, covered up to his neck, waiting for a dream that insisted on coming.

I should stop drinking these teas, he thought grumpily. I've been drinking them for so long that by now I must be immune to them.

He stared at the window, not moving at all, just blinking slowly, his eyelids feeling heavy, but unable to fall asleep on his own.

It was two hours before Xie Lian managed to fall asleep without even realizing it. This was how his body liked to function, always out of its owner's control.

It only took an hour for Xie Lian’s red, sand-filled eyes to open wide and terrified. His body was frozen, not even his fingertips moving.

And there was someone in the house.

Xie Lian was sure he had heard footsteps, and they were not Ban Yue’s, nor were they San Lang’s. These footsteps were louder, firmer, and more methodical, as if each one had been meticulously planned.

These were the footsteps of a tall, strong man, someone who represented a danger that made Xie Lian’s blood run cold.

The door to his room slowly opened, and he almost believed that whoever had come in was actually afraid of waking him up, then closed it just as carefully. And locked it.

Xie Lian cried softly, wishing he could go back to sleep.

“Oh, my xiao ming niao[3],” that man, now so close to him, said with regret. “Are you still alone? He really didn’t come back, did he?”

He wanted to close his eyes, terrified of the possibility of seeing the man next to him. Of course, he couldn’t, his eyes didn’t even blink, disobedient.

“But you’re not surprised, are you?” The man asked, concerned. “That’s how it’s always been. You’re used to it. You’re smart enough to know that it will always be this way with you.”

The mattress beside him sank, Xie Lian felt a hand caress his arm through the blanket and the air left his lungs with a sob.

“Oh, no, no. Don’t cry, my xiao ming niao.” That man approached, still out of his sight, but he could see a large hand, with long, pale fingers, reach for his head and slowly stroke his hair. His arm was covered by a long white sleeve that blocked his vision. “No matter how much you are abandoned, left alone behind, I will always be here with you.”

By now, part of the pillow was already soaked with Xie Lian’s tears; his clothes were wet with sweat; his body was shaking so much that if it weren’t for that man in the way, he would have already fallen; his lungs had lost so much air that there was now no air left to exhale, and inhaling was also out of the question; his heart felt like it was about to jump out of his body.

Xie Lian tried to calm himself down, took a deep breath and regained control of his body. However, his body had not been his for so long… it had been years since he had given up control. How could he, at such a critical moment, regain such power?

“Tsk tsk tsk, your efforts are always useless, aren't they?” That man scoffed, looking both frustrated and amused. “Where did your efforts get you, anyway?”

The door to his room opened again, the man's movements stopped and his body seemed to turn to see who had entered this time.

“Ah. Hello, my xiao yue liang[4].”

Xie Lian cried, trying to scream and kick him and throw him out of his house.

Don’t say a word to her, you lunatic son of a bitch! He wanted to scream, but he was only able to cry pathetically even more.

“Baba!” Ban Yue cried out in concern, and ran to sit beside him, right where that man was, as if she didn’t see him there.

That man stood up and stood beside him.

A face identical to his was smiling sweetly at him.

Xie Lian only managed to wake up a considerable time later, feeling a warm and comforting weight hugging him from the front, a soft breath against his neck. He returned the hug, holding Ban Yue close to him.

His daughter. His girl. Only his. Jun Wu never deserved, nor ever wanted, to be called father by her.

“Baba?” Ban Yue called, raising her head to look at him, her eyes wide with concern. “Are you okay?” 

Xie Lian smiled and hugged her to his chest. “Yes. Baba is fine.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head, smiling bitterly. “What are you doing here?” He asked instead of answering, making her sigh.

“I’ve refined some of the medicines I’ve been creating since our snake hunt, and I wanted you to see the results.” 

Xie Lian raised an eyebrow, looking at her suspiciously. “You want to use me as a guinea pig, don’t you?”

Ban Yue laughed embarrassedly, which made Xie Lian laugh as well.

“Alright, show me.”

Ban Yue jumped out of bed, pulling Xie Lian with her, and they entered his room with him already listening to the explanation of how each thing was made and what it was for.

“This is made with a medicinal plant,” she showed a vial containing a white liquid. “Since it’s an injection against the venom of that snake, its objective is to detoxify the meridians and create an immune system against this venom and strengthen immunity against others that have a similar or identical composition to this one.”

Taking out another vial, this one containing the poison, Ban Yue continued, “To make sure the injection worked, I would need to inject this poison into your vein. I have other ancient methods to cure you in case it fails, but are you sure you'll accept being the guinea pig?”

Xie Lian laughed lightly through a sigh. “Yes, I trust you not to let me die,” he said, sitting on her bed against the headboard.

“You won’t.”

Ban Yue sucked up less than 0.1ml of the venom into a 1ml syringe, then 0.2ml into another 1ml syringe, prepared a small tray with the injections, and walked over to him. First, she tied a tourniquet on Xie Lian’s arm, and when she found the vein, she applied the venom and removed the tourniquet. Then she started a timer on her phone, and they waited.

Gradually, Xie Lian began to feel dizzy, thirsty, and cold; his vision blurred and focused, was swinging and stabilized, leaving him dizzy; suddenly, his entire body ached, his legs twitched with cramps; his body at some point became covered in sweat; feeling his throat scratchy and painful, he coughed into his hand, which, when he pulled away, was covered in blood.

“I’ve already given you the injection,” Ban Yue said, and the sound of her voice was like an explosion in his head. Noticing his discomfort, she lowered her voice. “For someone who hasn’t cultivated in nearly three decades, your body has held up quite well for a long time. An average cultivator can last six to eight minutes, while a powerful one can last up to fourteen. You've lasted ten. Your immune system is impressive.”

She helped him lie down on the bed and covered him up to his neck, then left the room for a moment before returning with a damp towel that she placed on his forehead. Xie Lian, who was almost asleep, only sighed as he felt the wet fabric on his skin, resisting the urge to take off the towel.

“How… long am I… going to stay like this?” He asked, trembling.

“One day.”

“I… don’t believe I’m going to… cough cough… spend my day off sick because of myself.”

Ban Yue laughed.

“You’ll be better by morning, I promise. It’s for a good cause.”

***

And when morning came, after a long night of sleep that Xie Lian spent only sleeping, he woke up to someone stroking his hair. A hand too big to be Ban Yue's, the legs beneath his head were strong but soft. Xie Lian widened his eyes and stood up, recognizing the owner of the hands.

“San Lang!!” He shouted, standing up to hug the young man he had been missing since his farewell. The hug was returned tightly after a moment of hesitation from Hua Cheng. “San Lang, one month!” he whined, stepped back, and patted Hua Cheng’s chest with his clenched fists. “You said you would be back soon!!”

Hua Cheng chuckled and caressed his cheek.

“Sorry gege, I did my best not to delay, but the situation was really… boring there.”

Xie Lian arched an eyebrow, hanging onto his shoulders and laying his head on his chest.

“‘Boring’?”

Hua Cheng rested his chin on his head, hugging his waist. “En. Complicated enough that I have to interfere, but still ridiculous.”

“Oh. But if you came back, then everything is fine now, right?”

“En. Nothing to worry about. They just needed to know again who really rules my territory.”

The way Hua Cheng spoke, cold, acidic, and with a hint of contempt, made Xie Lian’s body break out in goosebumps, and he shivered.

“Hm? Is Gege okay? Are you cold? Ban Yue told me about your experiment, you might have a fever.” He pushed him back a little so he could place a hand on his forehead.

And it was at that moment that Xie Lian realized the position they were in.

Xie Lian was on Hua Cheng's lap. Sitting there as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. Making that handsome man into a chair.

He stared at him, frozen, taking in the appearance of the man in front of him. The young man’s hair, which was usually loose and messy in a rebellious and charming way, was now tied up in a bun with a jade ornament, with two side braids and loose bangs. He was wearing an eye patch this time. And a light green hanfu with a white inner robe.

He was incredibly cute! Evil cute, sure, but still very cute.

Xie Lian couldn’t handle… so much information.

Hua Cheng seemed to have realized their position as well, because he looked down at where… ahem… they were standing, then back up at Xie Lian’s face with a new glint in his eyes. That dark and intense glow that heated Xie Lian’s body, that made his blood boil.

His hands lightly tightened on Xie Lian’s waist, and Xie Lian was completely shaken out of his frozen state. With a single push, he jumped out of bed.

“Shower!” He shouted, making the boy look at him and blink in confusion. “I need a shower!”

Then he grabbed his uniform and ran to the bathroom.

“My gods, look at the time!! And I still have to work!” Xie Lian shouted from the hallway after checking the time on a clock hanging on the wall, and he could hear Hua Cheng's thunderous laughter from his room.

A laugh that made Xie Lian feel his body heat up. Again.

Xie Lian, drying his dripping hair with a towel draped over his shoulders, walked into the kitchen shirtless as well. Having taken a bath that was too hot, he was now feeling the consequences of it, unable to finish getting ready in the bathroom due to the heat, even his skin was red.

Hua Cheng, who had clearly prepared the absolute feast he found laid out on the dining table, was standing next to a chair, leaning against the table, relaxed, as if he was just waiting for him to enter. When he heard Xie Lian’s footsteps, he raised his head with a smile, which slowly faded as his gaze scanned him up and down.

Red bloomed all over Hua Cheng’s ears. He licked his lips and scratched his throat, then pushed himself away from the table and stood behind a chair.

“Gege,” he dragged the chair back, “sit down. Enjoy the food as much as you can. Don't worry about being late for work, I'll take you to where you need to be.”

Xie Lian smiled, ran over, grabbed Hua Cheng’s arm by the bicep, and jumped up to kiss his cheek. Without seeing his reaction, he sat down in the spot Hua Cheng pointed to, and it took Hua Cheng a moment to drag the chair forward.

“Ah… San Lang, was it really necessary to do all this?” Xie Lian asked in amazement, not knowing where to start.

Hua Cheng sat down opposite him and, seeing that Xie Lian was indecisive, decided to assemble his plate for him, starting with the fruits.

“Of course,” he smiled. “Why? Gege didn’t like it?” 

Xie Lian shook his head firmly. “That’s not it!” he took the dish the young man had prepared for him. “It must have been a lot of work. And a lot of money.”

“Neither of those things are a problem for me.”

“San Lang!”

Hua Cheng laughed.

Xie Lian sighed.

“Gege… are you okay?” Hua Cheng looked really worried now, which confused Xie Lian. “Ban Yue told me that you had sleep paralysis yesterday…” 

“Ban Yue tells you everything?” He arched an eyebrow. “Since when is she such a gossip?” 

The young man laughed softly.

“Not exactly. I asked her if this had happened, and it made her realize that you suffering from sleep paralysis wasn’t a secret to me. Should it be?”

Xie Lian shook his head.

“No. But I’m surprised by how close you are. Have you guys kept in touch too?”

“Yes. Gege, don’t change the subject.”

Xie Lian sighed and sank into his chair.

“It’s okay. Really. It’s just scary at the moment, but harmless.”

Hua Cheng didn’t seem satisfied, as if he was wondering if there was a way to end Xie Lian’s sleep paralysis, as if he were a living enemy capable of being killed.

Xie Lian really wished there was.

“Gege, meet me at the lake tonight?” Hua Cheng interrupted his thoughts.

Xie Lian smiled and nodded.

“Of course.” He ate one of the fruits, then grabbed one of the young man’s hands and held it with both hands. “San Lang, I missed you.”

Hua Cheng smiled as well.

“I missed you too, gege.”

────୨ৎ────

Footnotes

[1] 师傅 [shīfù], title for master.

[2] 乾坤袋 [qiánkūn dài], magical artifact, a bag with infinite space inside.

[3] 小鸣鸟 [xiǎo míng niǎo], small songbird.

[4] 小月良 [xiǎo yuè liáng], small moon.

The author has something to say:

The change of plans made my hair stand on end.

Chapter four — Chapter six (coming soon)

Like what I write? Support me on ko-fi!

[goldenboybridgers]

Silence at her next question, her chiding him to apologise. She was right, of course. And if he knew who she was, he would follow suit. But he didn't know her, barely remembered her face, and knew deep down she probably would never want to see him again even if it was to apologise. She had been high too. He remembered watching her do a line...Doing another immediately after her. Kissing her sloppily in the bathroom. He winces thinking of it. Hands wring together tightly, leg starting to bounce anxiously again.

A small smile reaches zir lips when she makes a crack of a joke. Ze appreciated the humour. It was hard to be so serious like this. It hurt. And ze was almost afraid that if ze kept going ze wouldn't be able to turn back. Back to zir sunshiny self. Ze swallows hard when silence falls between them again. His head lifts for a moment, glancing toward the window shielded by the curtains. He still squints, sensitive to even the tiniest crack of light filtering through. But maybe he deserved the pain. Deserved to feel the consequences of his actions.

Brows furrow when asked about his friends. His chest tightens at the idea. His manager was sort of a lot more than just a manager. She was his friend--best friend. And she cared for him. Not as more than a friend, but...Well, they had dated for a time. And she had been the one to break it off and admit she didn't have any feelings for him. Ouch. It wasn't his best moment in life, but they'd moved past it pretty quickly. And now they were friends. And that was just fine.

"I dunno. I don't really think I trust anyone else with that kind of information," ze admits with a shrug. "I mean, hell, no one else knows I deal besides you an' Ziva." And, of course, those 'in the know.'

"It's not really somethin' I'd ever want to have to see in the papers..." A beat. "Besides, It's not like it's a common occurance. I don't call my manager every time I get plastered and even then..." A shrug, swallowing. Lie. "It's rare."

When ze explains why ze sells she thinks of Elliot. And his addictions, how he never seemed to be able to kick any habit. The rage she felt the night she saw him using and yet she never blamed Aurora for any of it. She knew that either side of the coin was dangerous. She’d never taken part in using, had no desire to try. Even at her lowest low she stayed away from drugs. She was lucky, she supposed. Luckier than some, at least.

Just high, and drunk, and being stupid.

“Did you stand on that roof in front of the girl that slapped you?” Leo sinks a bit into the couch, shrugging. Her eyes close for a moment and she breathes. She doesn’t know Aurora from Adam,  but she’d heard that excuse for things so many times that it almost made her head spin to hear the combination spoken again. “If you did, you should apologize to her.” Her eyes open again, head turning just a bit to peer at him. “I don’t think it’s right she hit you, but, you probably really scared her.”

Her attention turns to the ceiling, legs awkwardly turning side to side like the swing of a pendulum as her feet press into the coffee table. It’s like a memory has revived itself that she would rather stay dead. Not Aurora’s fault in the slightest. She was still learning her triggers, even after all this time.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Trying to make light of the situation, she smiles – biting the inside of her cheek as she does. “Otherwise, I’d be out of a fuckin’ job.” The moment doesn’t last long before her mood bottoms out again. In another attempt to shake it off, she fully sits up and leans over, grabbing at a little notepad and pen. Leaning back into the couch, she begins to doodle something – glancing at Aurora every now and again.

“Do you have actual friends?” An eyebrow lifts. “Someone you can call besides your manager if you find yourself having another bad high?”

[alexjcrowley]

James Bond/Sherlock BBC crossover

John, James and Greg go along way better than Sherlock, Q and Mycroft.

James took a little while to fit in the Holmes's partners secret little club, but John and Greg are nice guys.

They were kind of excited to meet a double 0 agent, but Greg was a bit worried he'd a pretentious asshole. He himself works in security, some of his superiors act like they have the most important job in the world (they haven't, he is dating Mycroft Holmes, trust him) just because they're a step above him in the work ladder. He wouldn't be surprised if James was like that. He is part of this legendary secret team AND he is dating a Holmes, his self esteem must be high.

John is less worried. First, because he is more excited than everything else (an 00 agent, he thought they were a myth!), second, if this mysterious brother Sherlock just pulled out of his deerstalker hat is anything like the Holmes he's already met, he wouldn't go for a some egomaniac who thinks he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and acts like he's better than everybody else. If he and Greg are any example to go by, this James should be a pretty alright mate.

And, turns out, he is. James is a nice Scottish fellow. Lovely to get a pint with. Down to earth, really. He says he's been told he's not easy to deal with, not very sociable...Greg and John look at eachothers and laugh. After meeting a Holmes, you gain a new understanding of the word "unsociable". John let a few questions of James's work slip, he is just too curious, but before James can come up with any answers that sound less threatening than "If I told you, I'd have to kill you", Greg chimes in.

"The coffee, how do they make it at your workplace? Our coffee machine at the office sucks."

James gives a small, grateful smile.

Greg takes another sip of his beer "Married to Mycroft Holmes, you learn what questions you can ask to make small talk without risking to be moved to Alaska."

James and John ends up talking about the military service. They both haven't done that in a while. Different duties, but it's nice. James didn't leave the field, in a way, John says he didn't either, in a way. What he and Sherlock do is unbelievable, says James, they just let you run off and do your thing? No rules, no consequences?

"Well, thanks, Greg" says John.

Greg gives him an eyeroll "I'm too good, I know."

James wouldn't have expected it, Q is...very fond of rules, let's say- well, yes, made some exceptions for him, but that's a different thing- Sherlock apparently just does whatever the hell he wants.

"Trust me, he's not easy to follow, I'd say you got lucky with someone who keeps his head on his shoulders."

"I'm afraid I'm the one who's not easy to follow between me and Q."

James is surprisingly more humble that you'd expect.

He doesn't look down on Greg's job, as the inspector feared. They're still part on the same line of work, part of the machine. They talk about that, too, and coffeemakers.

"Mine makes a wicked espresso...I'm not sure you can...pass by my office, but you can pass by an office I'll be in and you can try that, you really should." says James.

"Bet you 10 pounds Sherlock will find a way to break into your real office for that espresso." says John.

"Bet you 15 I can have Mycroft lend me his card he uses to get to places- listen, I don't even know what that thing does exactly- and I can walk right to your desk without any problem whatsoever"

It's a deal. God knows what will happen.*

James keeps staring at Greg.

"What? Got something on my face?" he asks.

"Mycroft Holmes, really? How do you even- he is not just- he literally is The British Government, that's how we-"

"I know, I know. He has a reputation." says Greg.

"The Iceman." echoes John before taking a sip of his beer.

"He's not that icy." Greg can't help a smile "I guess you too...you're a double 0, people probably assume you too are...hard as nail, cold as ice...Q must have-"

"Oh, no, no, no." James stops him "Yes, I'm known for my...devotion to the job, but Q was...I get the job done, I do what they tell me to do, Q is the one who'll break your eardrums if you don't come back with all of his gadgets. In one piece."

"Something tells me you're talking from experience" says John.

James chuckles.

"He seems less... cold than Sherlock and Mycroft..." James begins, not wanting to sound rude.

"It's fine." says Greg, waving a hand dismissively.

"But it still took a while for everyone to realize there was something that could make him happier than seeing his inventions at work. He doesn't like 00s, we are like children playing and breaking all of the toys he made with such care. I'm the exception. By which I mean he likes me, I still break his toys."

It's a nice evening, really. Sherlock, Mycroft and Q are somewhere arguing, probably, trying to establish who has the biggest list of of achievements, at eachothers throats, if they're lucky no one is threatening to not show up at Christmas, yet.

"Okay, amongst the stuff you can tell us about, what's the coolest thing you've ever done in your job?" asks John.

"That I can talk about...meet the Queen, I'd say." James sports a proud smile.

"Oh, I've done that" says John, quite surprised.

"Me too, met her for tea. Mycroft said she insisted he introduced us."

James stays silent for a moment, then all three burst in laughters.

"No way you can surprise a Holmes- or someone dating them." says Lestrade.

They come at Baker Street, they're all a bit tipsy, but laughing and joking like old friends.

Mycroft, Sherlock and Q are not surprised.

*I had so much fun writing this, I may write their whole breaking and entering in James's office if anyone's interested in reading it, let me know! (in the comments or if this gets enough likes that I think "okay, like more than 3 people would read this")

[marchioness-caprina]

Confessions

Pairings : Reader x Bakugou

Writing Style : 1st Person and 3rd Person

Warning : A Lot of Swearing

Word Count : 3639

____________________

Y/n's POV

" I Just don't Know what To do Izuku! You're Telling Me He Likes me but he barely even takes a glance at me! The bad thing is that whenever I try approaching him... Or even expressing my Love for him... He screams bloody murder and roasts me like there's no tomorrow! " I complained as I buried my face within my palms .

I was on the verge of tears simply because of a shitty crush. I felt Izuku's Hand caress my head as He stared down at me with a sympathetic gaze.

" There, There y/n. Let it all out " He muttered making me want to cry even more but I wasn't done venting.

" I've been chasing him ever since we were in middle school! Ironic how I give nothing but love but receive pain instead... I think... I should finally Give up" I whispered the last part and Izuku's movements were put in a halt.

" Really? After everything you've been doing for him? You'll just give up?! That's not you y/n! You're the type of person who fights with everything you've got without losing hope! And that's pretty admirable! I may not be as close with Kaachan as I was before but I know for a fact that he likes you too and is just too... Errr... Umm... How do I say this? Uhh He just has a really big Ego to admit it " He tried lifting my spirit up but I was tired. My heart was tired and I just wanted to... Give up or maybe Just Rest for a couple of weeks.

" Yeah? Well you think pretty Highly of Me Izuku.... But I'm weak too you know and there are battles I must quit.... I'll just try to recollect myself and rest for a few weeks Or so, I'll have to set my Priorities straight too... Ya know... If you get what I mean and all " I chuckled trying to mask the pain and it was futile. Izuku can read me like an open book.

He gave me a solemn look before nodding. This little cinnamon roll is just too kind and understanding, he even accompanied me to this very cafe we were in when he saw me looking down coming out of the Dorms.

" I get it, People need to cool off from time to time " He gave me a small smile and I returned it with a grin.

" Hey! You know there's this Carnival That was set up last week and it's their last day today! I had two tickets and tried inviting Katsuki.... I mean Bakugou Yesterday and he almost blew these tickets away.... It would be a waste if we don't use it so why don't we start my Personal Growth and healing by having Fun!? " I exclaimed and Izuku looked genuinely as excited as me.

" Really!? Sure! I'd like to go! It's been awhile since I actually had fun because of all the Pressure and Stress! " He smiled and I grabbed his hand immediately and dragged him out of the cafe and Off to The carnival we Go!.

_________________

" Man! And Don't even get me started on the Food there! Although the Almight Mascot looked Really Weird it was still fun! " I Beamed as Izuku opened the front door.

" Yeah! And the Fireworks were awesome Too! I'm really glad we hung out today! " He bashfully stated as we simultaneously stepped inside .

" And Where have you two gone to? Maybe you shouldn't have came back if you'd show up in the middle of the damn night " Aizawa sensei suddenly appeared out of nowhere making me and Izuku flinch in shock.

" W-why... Hello there sensei " Midoriya stuttered fear ridden as he glanced down at me.

' Shit we're screwed '

" Guys! I believe it was extremely irresponsible to be gone without a word and come back at an unearthly hour! You could have atleast sent one of us a message or even answered Our calls! So we wouldn't be this anxious of your arrival! " Iida Sped walked towards me and Izuku and that's when we noticed that everyone was still up and gathered in the common room.

" We were so worried about you guys! We thought a villain took you or something! "

" Not cool dude, Aizawa Sensei almost flipped and called out a search team to look for you guys "

" You could have told us before you left "

Came the concerned comments of our classmates. It made my heart swell up with Joy and at the same time Guilt.

" We're so Sorry! " Me and Izuku yelled in Sync bowing our heads.

" It was my fault! I forgot my phone in my room! And Izuku was just accompanying me to a small cafe in town... And I invited him to go have fun at the carnival... To Distress.... I didn't think you guys would be this worried but thank you for worrying about us! " I yelled an apology and Izuku was fast to take the blame.

" No it's my fault! I turned off my phone and left without informing anyone and without thinking of the consequences! Neither me and y/n were aware of the time. We won't do it again! We're sorry guys" Izuku frowned as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

With a sigh Aizawa gave us a stern look scratching the back of his head before speaking.

" Look, this better not happen again or else you two will be in serious trouble. You're lucky tomorrow's a Sunday so No school . Just make sure to say something next time and not disappear without a trace "

" Yes sensei! " Izuku answered while I nodded my head vigorously.

As Aizawa continued his Lecture my eyes drifted towards the crowd of my classmates and what surprised me was that Bakugou was Present. He was awake. Did he actually give a fuck?... No he's probably dragged into this by Kaminari or Kirishima.

After a long 30 minutes of sermon Aizawa sensei finally let us go.

In the end everyone returned to their rooms and Before I went to mine I gave Izuku a Hug as a ' Thank you for being there for me ' and I was unaware of a pair of crimson red eyes staring at us.

_____________

The Next Day

_____________

I heard knocking on my door which forced me to wake up and open the door and to my surprise it was Izuku and Uraraka.

" Morning Guys.... What brings you here? " I yawned blinking my eyes as the two chuckled at my messy appearance.

Bed hair, oversized t shirt and drool on the corner of my lips.

" We came here to invite you for breakfast! Everyone is gathered in the common room! You're a pretty heavy sleeper! Jirou and Momo tried waking you up earlier and there was no answer " Uraraka explained but still, sleep was very much alive in my system and I just gave a lazy nod before hanging again.

" Looks like she's still Tired Uraraka, you go on ahead we'll catch up with you" Izuku offered and Uraraka was fast to jolt away a from us.

" Ok! But you better not let her go back to sleep Deku! Everyone's counting on you to wake her up! " Uraraka yelled as she headed downstairs.

I was swaying back and forth with my eyes half lidded and I had a sudden urge to sleep on the floor.

" Still sleepy? " Izuku asked and fortunately I was still awake enough to give him a nod.

" Wanna get on my back? I'll carry you down stairs so you'll have time to rest " He offered while turning his back against me and bending down.

Without hesitation I fell on his back and subconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck and my head resting on his back.

I felt his scarred hand grip my thighs and he lifted me off the ground and started walking.

Honestly I didn't know how long it took him to get to the common room but I was happy I had a really nice friend to carry me like this.

" Wow, Midoriya when we told you to get Y/n we didn't know you'd actually ' Get ' Her " The familiar Voice of Kaminari commented and I was thankfully awake or more like I forced myself to be awake.

I peeked my eyes at him and stuck my tongue out.

" Yeah you're just jealous cause Izuku is Carrying me " I retorted and Izuku's chest vibrated in a small chuckle.

" You two a Thing Now or something? " Mina grinned pointing at us with her chopsticks.

" No Mina we're not a Thing. We're People " I countered and she gave a light laugh.

" Smart move y/n. Smart move "

" Do you want me to put you down now? " Izuku asked as he looked back at me and I shook my head.

" No, I like being carried by you. You're really warm " I smirked and the poor boy's face overheated with embarrassment.

" Oo~ are you sure you two aren't a Thing? " Uraraka Teased giving me and Izuku a suggestive wink.

" So you're dumping Bakugou for Midoriya or something? " Kaminari crackled with laughter and the whole room fell into a cold silence.

As if everyone knew something I should be aware of.

" Me and Bakugou aren't Dating in the first place, I don't think we'll ever be together too " I confidently stated and I could hear gasps and the shock faces of my classmates didn't go unnoticed.

" S-She called him Bakugou and Not Katsuki! " Mineta Yelled in panic as he stared at me with wide eyes.

Suddenly a loud bang was heard from one of the tables. Specifically the Table Bakugou was on.

He had slammed his hand on the table along with his chopsticks and he was seething with so much anger and... Are my eyes lying? Is that jealousy!?.

" I ain't fucking hungry! " He yelled and stood up violently that the chair fell off.

He started stomping his way towards us. I was never afraid of Him.... Well not until Now atleast.

" Deku " He growled lowly and I could feel Izuku tremble.

Immediately, I got down from his back and when Katsuki was close enough I stepped infront of Izuku.

" Stay Back Bitch! " He hissed and I stood my ground.

" No you Stay back Asshole! What is your problem!? Why don't you mind your own fucking Business! " I snapped harshly poked his Chest with each word I uttered.

He glared at me tiny sparks popping on his palms.

What he said next was something I have never expected him to say.

" You are My goddamn Business You Little Shit! Hanging around with Deku the whole Night making me worry about your shitty ass! And now you're clinging onto him like a stupid fucking Koala! Can't you see how jealous I am!? Can't you drill it in your pretty little head that you're Fucking Mine! " His voice rang through every corner of the common room.

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. My eyes were wide and full of disbelief.

" Finally, Took Him a long time to actually confess... It was kinda getting painful to watch " Kaminari mumbled but it was loud enough for me to hear.

" Dude, it was so manly confessing to her infront of everyone. Bakugou is a true man " Came another comment from one of my classmates, Kirishima.

Katsuki was glaring at me his Chest rising and falling at a visible way clearly indicating how aggravated he was.

His crimson eyes held a lot of swirling emotions, Jealousy, Anger, Betrayal and Possessiveness.

" ..... Excuse you!? " I managed to voice out and he tried grabbing me but I was quick to evade his hand.

" No! And Just when I finally decided to give up on you. You decide to throw all this bullshit infront of me Bakugou Fucking Katsuki! No you listen here you Egotistical Haughty Son of a Bitch! I suffered through every shitty insult and pain you threw my way because I loved you and when I'm at my limit and ready to go you give me this!? all you gave me was pain and honestly I'm not a masochistic bitch to accept it with open arms how but my middle finger huh?!. Damn you and your very confusing and petty way of claiming me! That is not happening! You hear me!? So suck it up Bakuhoe and Go Fuck yourself " I actually felt proud of myself but that was the first time I actually raised my voice or even cursed infront of everyone in the first place so their dumbfounded expression didn't really surprised me.

" Wow.... Your girl's as good at Cursing as you are Bakugou " Sero was the first to comment and that pissed me off.

" I'm not his 'Girl' " I emphasized the girl part with a hint of mockery.

" Yet " Bakugou added making me glare at him.

" Fuck you " I grumbled turning around to walk away in victory thinking I had won the fight.

But before I could even take one step forward I was slung over Bakugou's Shoulder hanging upside down.

" Put me down you Fucking Asshole! " I yelled as he carried me away from the common room.

" Hey! " I grab hold of his blonde hair which was surprisingly soft and gave it a harsh tug which earned me a groan from him.

" Bitch! " He yelled slapping my butt making me gasp.

" I should get you mad more often, That was hot " He commented as if he hadn't just slapped my butt.

The nerve of this fucker.

" Put me down!" I growled as he proceeded to carry me upstairs.

" Now don't think I'm done with you just yet. I have to get my sweet revenge because you hung out with Fucking Deku and let him touch you! " He barked as I felt him tighten his hold on my fleshy thigh.

I tried everything I could, from squirming to kicking to punching his back but the guy is a Fucking wall and didn't even budge.

" Stop it Bitch! Save your energy for later. You're gonna need it " He muttered making me react violently. Until he had enough of it and slammed my back to the nearest wall with his strong muscular arms trapping me I'm between with his body a bit too close to mine.

His face was inches away and I visibly gulped turning my face to the side as his breathe fanned my cheek.

" Bakugou I'm warning you. I'm gonna do something YOU'RE gonna regret if you don't let me go " I had managed to say without stuttering and I mentally Pat myself on the back for my strong tone.

" Fuck it y/n. You really think I'd let you get away after Saying all that shit and defending Deku!? After you hopped onto his back like you're HIS!? Well you're Fucking Mine! You got that!? " He yelled making me groan. His voice was too loud and I think my ears are gonna bleed.

" You asked for it! " I yelled back as I prepared to kick him where the sun don't shine but I didn't even get to raise my leg halfway when he pulled me down by my leg and pressed his body against mine even more.

Right now I had no way of moving with my leg trapped against his thighs holding me in place.

" Oh? Was that your Great Fucking Move? Well it's pretty pathetic so kick and scream all you want. I'm claiming you right now " Using his hand he raked my locks down and gripped onto my hair roughly forcing me to face him and his lips had already connected with mine.

His kiss was rough, dominating with a tinge of passion and jealousy. Moving his lips at a better angle his other hand trailed down to squeeze my hips.

I ressisted. I really did but after awhile of him kissing me I melted. My hands wrapping themselves around his neck my chest squeezed with his toned chest. Both of his hands resting on my waist as I stood on my tippy toes kissing him back with the same intensity.

Opening my mouth to give him access he didn't waste a second to slip his tongue inside my claiming his new domain. His tongue wrestled with my own and soon gaining dominance as he continued the rough kiss.

It was a very angry kiss with lots of jealousy coming from him.

When we finally pulled away breathless and panting his intense crimson orbs pierced mine a smug smirk slowly rigging on the corners of his mouth.

" Still refusing me after that? After you willingly kissed me back? After clinging onto me for dear life? " He was either mocking me or teasing me but either way it pissed me off.

" Katsuki I'm gonna rip your throat off if you keep that up " I glared at him but I guess actions spoke louder than words because my neck was still wrapped around his neck and my body still pressed against his.

" Yeah right and a moment ago you called me Bakugou now look who's calling me Katsuki again " He sneered and I tried retreating my hand away from his neck to push him away but he beat me to it; grabbing my arms and using it as leverage to pull me closer towards him.

" I know I did some pretty fucked up shit. I'm not the best person at expressing these shitty feelings I have for you but I will make it up to you, I'm s-soow.... S-sooo.... Rrr... Eeyyyy " The way he forced out a ' I'm sorry ' got me laughing so hard .

He didn't appreciate that because his cheeks were tinted red form embarrassment and anger.

" You Fucking bitch! Don't laugh at me! I'm trying! " He yelled as I continued laughing.

Yeah, seeing him like that was new and hilarious.

My laughter was cut off when I felt his warm lips press a kiss on my cheek.

He looked to his side his eyes avoiding mine.

" Don't Fucking laugh cause I mean it though.... I'll make it up to you.... " He muttered the faint red color of his cheeks still present.

A smile formed on my lips as I stared at him fondly. A small pinkish tint coating my own cheeks but me being me I ruined the moment with a bitchy remark.

" Yeah why don't you practice saying Sorry first while not sounding like you were about to take the biggest shit of your life " I retorted and because of that I began laughing once again and he was raging. Screaming at me to stop laughing but I couldn't help it. He did deserve it after all.

I'm pretty sure I'll get more of my little revenge in the future....

________

Bonus :

" Deku.... I know you care about those two and You're a hardcore shipper but... What you did though... Was it on purpose? " Uraraka asked taking another bite of her pancakes as they listened to the two bicker.

" Who knows " Izuku answered with a contented smile on his face.

" Huh... You're a bit suicidal for doing that but I respect you man. Bakugou finally confessed it was getting pretty sad to watch him act all tough and pretending he doesn't like her " Sero chuckled.

" Hopefully those two will stay strong from now on... " Momo took a sip of her tea and everyone silently agreed with her.

" So.... Do you think they're Fucking? " Mineta suddenly brought up the topic which caused Tsu to slap him with her Tongue.

" Mineta-kun you're being a pervert again" Tsu muttered staring at the purple headed boy.

" Hahahahha! " Denki and Mina suddenly came down stairs holding a camera.

" You guys wanna see what they were doing upstairs? " Denki asked while laughing.

" Dude, invading other people's privacy is Not manly " Kirishima stated bit he couldn't help but be curious.

" .... What happened though? " Kirishima asked taking a peek at the camera.

" Oh you know, They kissed and Bakugou tried saying sorry but it was an epic fail! " Mina laughed and on cue Y/n came running down with an in raged Bakugou trailing hot on her tail.

" Come Back here! " Bakugou barked trying to grab hold of the girl.

" I was being honest when I said you need practice in saying sorry! You look like you're about to shit Bricks! " She yelled merely avoiding the hand of Bakugou that was centimeters away from holding her.

" Drama and Breakfast in the morning sure is pretty Good. But Drama, Breakfast and Comedy in the Morning is The best! " Denki chuckled watching the two interact.

" Oh boy... I have a feeling everything is going to be a lot more louder here than usual " Izuku sighed .

[astroismypassion]

hey, would you mind giving a bit more insight or some advice on the Lilith and sun sign distrust? for context.. I had a date with an Aries guy, who I had known for some time.. we started talking and he seemed excited cuz he told me he lived one hour away and we even had the same home town, seeming like we could meet often... then we played online and talked on discord and streamed a movie. he seemed to like me. then we met, we had sex, it was incredible and we spent 2 days playing videogames and stuff.. then after he was gone he kinda started ghosting and breadcrumbing. i even told him that if he thought that he could tell me, there'd be no hard feelings and I would understand if he was just busy, but that i'd like him to inv me to play and stuff because I was a bit shy I wasn't sure. i tried to set another date after that and he said he'd love to and would tell me closer to the weekend if he could come.. but radio silence. i started getting insecure about how the date had gone and really confused, while also afraid of texting and trying cuz i thought I could be annoying.

and guess what, his Lilith is capricorn, im a capricorn sun and stellium. my Lilith is aries and he's and aries..

anyway sorry for this long ass text but yea, that's what's up

Hi!

Yeahh...this is why I talked about Lilith and not any other planet, but the SUN. Because believe it or not Sun is very often a malefic.

Because when I was trying to figure this thing out rationally and compare it with real life scenarios, I figured this distrust happens less often if it's other planet. I had Lilith Moon for example quite a few times and the consequences where not as devastating than when I had Sun Lilith conjunction. This is took really personally obvisiously, because it's the Sun, your identity, ego and pride being attacked.

I believe this happens because you both possess these traits of the sign. For example: in your case of Sun Lilith in Aries, you BOTH share these traits, you are both leaders, want to dominate, be the first, be quick, bold, courages etc. It's not like it's just your traits, it's this person's traits as well. The same with Capricorn Sun Lilith conjucntion, you BOTH might like brand names, quality items and clothing, you both are career focused and money drive, you both crave respect, admiration from the public or your boss/authority figure.

This is quite a mix of Aries and Capricorn if you ask me. Maybe he saw you as not confident enough and that you should be more self assured and just directly express your wants and needs or what you desire out of this connection. You were being more than polite, but Aries is more blunt and straight to the point. Maybe you also took things a bit to fast, maybe a lot was happening in these two days which left you feeling that a lot happened at once?

But yeah, I think you should be more expressive and bold in your words and more slow in your actions. I would say you moved quite quickly, though you said you have known him prior to the date so maybe you already know each other quite well.

Lilith Sun and also Lilith ASC conjunction point to high sexual attractiveness, but also the need to want to SEDUCE the other, almost like making Lilith your mistress.

But in this case, I would also say... that when a person loses trust in themselves, they might not end up trusting YOU as well as a result. So maybe don't take it too hard on yourself... maybe he was second guessing himself and was confused himself, which lead to you end up feeling confused too.

But honestly I wouldn't be too bothered with Lilith Sun explanation here in your case, since you mentioned you have known each other before the date. So I wouldn't say it was intended too harshly.

Maybe this person was actually busy? Because Capricorn Liliths usually just are. They crave financial stability or recognition that comes from working, so I wouldn't be surprised, being an Aries Sun, he might not be good a verbalising his emotion and shows more through action?

Definitely talk to this person more and don't feel like you are being annyoing or like you are holding back too much.

@astroismypassion

[professorsnape394]

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Four: The Three Broomsticks

A/N: This is the fourth part to my fanficiton ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 1733

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

The following days transpired just as the day before had done; a lot of potion brewing and a little conversation. However, more notably Severus Snape was actually participating in the conversation for once. Aria could not yet say she had seen a pleasant side to the man, however he was acceptable to converse with at the very least. By the end of the third day he no longer pretended to busy himself with textbooks and he actually elected to help with the potion brewing for once. Being able to talk to the Professor and ask him any questions helped her a great deal in learning the correct procedures. She felt herself being more at ease around him, and soon enough they had developed their own way of working together, that she found quite enjoyable. Even Severus had become accustomed to the woman's presence in his classroom as she pranced around the cauldrons, laughing every now and then at his sarcastic comments he hadn't entirely meant to be humorous.

Aria had been lost in thought as she stirred the final potion to completion. "I was thinking." She said cautiously. "It's pretty hard finding things to occupy myself at nights, there isn't much to do here, except aimlessly wandering the halls. How do you feel about maybe taking a trip to Hogsmeade this weekend, have some dinner, maybe drinks? It would make a change from the elves cooking, although I admit they'd be pretty hard to beat."

"I appreciate the offer Miss Dumbledore. However you know how I feel about spending time with Mr. Hagrid, I doubt a change of setting would convince me, especially with the addition of alcohol." Severus spoke, his tone softer than it usually would at such a request.

"Hagrid wouldn't be there." She hastened to add. "He mentioned he has business out with the castle grounds. I just figured since the two of us would be here anyway, it wouldn't make any sense for us to sit alone."

"You may have forgotten, Miss Dumbledore, but I like being alone. I eat alone every night, and I do not wish to simply be your back up plan, now Hagrid has left you to do the same."

"I don't mean for you to be a back up plan Sev- Professor Snape. I just think it might do us both some good. After all haven't we been getting along better these past few days." Aria wanted to get to know the man more, she felt they had got off on the wrong foot and the way to fix this was spending more time together, and hopefully they would even become friends at the end of it all.

"You haven't been as disagreeable as I expected you would be, I will admit. This does not change my previous opinion." He stated.

"At least consider it." She pleaded.

With a sigh Snape flipped another page. "I'll consider it." He agreed, continuing reading his book, no longer interested in conversing with the young witch.

The next few days dragged in more than ever. Aria enjoyed keeping herself busy and was not used to having this much free time. The only thing keeping her sane was her passions for drawing and nature. She chose to combine the two and spend her days outside, sketching the beautiful landscape she found herself in. She preferred to opt for portraits, capturing the essence of humanity in her sketches, but trees were fine too. She shrugged.

Sunday morning eventually came around and Aria chose to tackle something she had been putting off ever since her arrival at Hogwarts. A small pile of letters had accumulated on her bedside table, ignoring each one as they came in. She immediately recognised the scrawled writing on the envelope and could not face opening them. Every second day she received a letter and it broke her heart knowing what lay within. Reading each one carefully, she knew she could not face writing the response the sender desperately awaited. Instead she scribbled a small, generic reply, making sure to include that she would be too busy to write often due to her crazy schedule. This of course was a lie as she had virtually nothing planned for the next couple of weeks until term begun. Aria did not want to face even reading any more letters as long as she remained at Hogwarts, and so she swore to herself she wouldn't no matter how hard she knew it would be.

A firm knock echoed through her quarters just as Aria sent her letter off with beautiful brunette barn owl. "Come in." She called curious as too who would be calling on her. Shocked to see Professor Snape striding into her private chambers, Aria couldn't help but question his presence there.

"I've had time to think about your offer." He stated blankly, visibly out of his comfort zone.

"And?" Aria pressed.

"And I suppose there would be no harm in joining you for one meal. After all, as you say, we both will be here alone, we may as well keep each other company."

"Fantastic!" His colleague gleamed, jumping up from her position on her couch. "Just give me some time to get ready and I'll meet you there? Say six oclock at the Three Broomsticks?"

"Six is fine with me. Don't be late." He warned, leaving the room just as quickly as he came.

*

Aria entered the Three Broomsticks at five forty-five, ensuring Snape had no reason to reprimand her once again for her tardiness. It stunned her to find the sallow skinned man already sitting at a booth, firewhiskey in hand, patiently waiting on her arrival. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she watched him tap out a rhythm on the side of his glass as he took yet another sip. She wondered if it was out of impatience or nervousness, either way she thought it slightly endearing to see.

Hearing the click of a familiar set of heels quickly approaching him, Severus Snape looked up from his glass, almost needing to hold back the urge to smile, but managed to keep his composure. He rose to his feet, holding out a hand to greet the fellow Professor, instantly cursing himself for such a foolish action. "Sit." He commanded, motioning to the seat across from his own. "I'll get you a drink."

"Oh no, there's really no need Professor." Aria insisted, shaking her head, causing her beach-like waves to brush over her exposed shoulders. "I'm afraid alcohol doesn't agree with me at the best of times." She admitted.

"Correct me if I am wrong, Miss Dumbledore, but as I recall it was you who suggested a meal and drinks. Or did I mishear you." Snape asked, feeling almost foolish, having already down two glasses of Firewhiskey.

"I did say that didn't I." The young Miss Dumbledore blushed. "I apologise, sometimes I just cannot stop myself when I speak, I often forget the consequences of drinking, which as it happens is the ultimate consequence of drinking." She chuckled.

The older man shot her a small look of disdain, not at all as amused as she had expected him to be. He let out a small grunt of dissatisfaction, and proceed to down the dregs of his drink.

It took a few more awkward moments of silence and Severus being slightly more irritable that Aria had wished for before the two finally settled in to a rhythm of conversation. Soon enough it came time to eat and Aria took it upon herself to call over the waitress. As he ordered Aria watched as Severus made no effort to look up at the woman serving him. It crossed her mind that maybe this was a deliberate attempt at ignoring her voluptuous breast and curvature of her hips. However, on the other hand she considered that maybe he truly was not interested as she thought back to their conversation a few days before.

"She's stunning." Aria couldn't help but observe. "You should go for it, chat her up, she might be into the dark, brooding, intellectual type."

"As I told you before, Miss Dumbledore, dating it not top priority for me. If you find her so attractive why don't you, as you say, 'chat her up'." Snape replied sarcastically, not expecting the woman to take him seriously.

"I might just." She said, finding her eyes following the waitress back to the kitchen for a moment or two. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous as the witch watched the woman walk away from their table, though he was not sure why.

"So tell me Professor Snape." The young Professor began. "What are the other Professor's at Hogwarts like? Who am I took look out for? Who's my competition." She grinned, wriggling her eyebrows menacingly.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." He hummed in response.

"You know." She shrugged. "Who are you close with? Will I have to fight them for custody of you." She laughed, although the Professors expression did not change. "What I'm trying to say Severus is, I'm new here, besides yourself and Hagrid I know no one. I'd like to consider us friends, though you may have a different opinion. I was simply trying to express my nervousness at being the new girl. I was hoping you'd be able to help me settle in, introduce me to your other friends and colleagues that is." She sighed.

"You do not seem to understand my disposition, Miss Dumbledore, that which I feel I have made abundantly clear. I am not one to socialise. I am not one to make friends. I am here to teach and teach alone. I do what your grandfather asks of me and that is the extent of my relationship with the staff. They understand how I am, and respect that. I do not bother them and in return they do not bother me. You have been the first to struggle with this concept, Professor." He struggled to grant her the title.

"I didn't realise." Aria stuttered slightly, not understanding how she had not caught on. "I had simply thought you had a vendetta against me, due to my position here at Hogwarts. I didn't realise you shut yourself off from everyone. I apologise for any inconvenience I have caused you." The tone of her voice softening, becoming almost a whisper-like volume. She was embarrassed she had forced him out of his habits and brought him to the Three Broomsticks to clear the air. She realised now it had been a pointless act. This man had been stuck in his ways for over a decade and she would not change that a fortnight into knowing him.

"I am here, aren't I." Severus stated, trying not sound as harsh as he previously had. "Had I truly despised you I would not be wasting my time here with you. I have come to the realisation that if we are to work in such a close proximity to each other, it would be best if we maintained at least some level of civility with one another."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Professor." She replied shyly, remaining silent. Immediately Severus regretted opening his mouth. He didn't entirely hate her company and in fact he had found himself starting to enjoy the evening. It took him a minute or two to gain the confidence to speak the words aloud, but he figured the pay off was worth the sacrifice of a small amount of pride.

"Will you stop fretting woman." He demanded. "I was just beginning to find your constant rambling tolerable. If I wished to spend the evening in silence, I wouldn't have made the effort to accept your invitation to come here tonight. You have managed to entice me thus far, do not spoil what may be your one chance at a friendship with me."

"A friendship?" This piqued her interest.

"You know what I mean. A working relationship. A tolerance. A chance for me to accept your position as my apprentice." Snape corrected himself, fumbling over his words.

"Mmmm." She smirked, taking a small sip of butterbeer. "I'll just pretend a friendship is off the cards for us then, Professor. Although I don't recall you mentioning trips to Hogsmeade as an exception to your reclusive personality." She raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Despite his annoyance at her persuasive abilities, and daring comments, he was glad he had convinced her back to her previously inquisitive self.

Both choosing to ignore any reservations they might have about their 'non-friendship' the two spoke for hours with ease. With each empty glass of fire whiskey Severus Snape found himself relaxing more into the conversation, his reputation becoming a distant memory. It was the first he had allowed himself to truly relax in possibly the whole of his life.

It seemed in one evening Severus had gotten to know all there was to know about Aria's life, although strangely she mentioned nothing regarding her family and Snape chose not to pursue the subject. He loved listening to her talk, she was a rambler, rarely needing any interjection from him except the odd mumble here and there and that's the way he liked it. He was a listener, he loved taking in new information no matter the subject. Most importantly it meant he did not have to share anything about himself, unless the woman specifically asked, and even in those rare occasions, she knew better than to pressure him when he chose not to provide an answer.

Aria told him of the schooling she received in Ilvermorny, her school in America. She told him of her job working in a local alchemists after she left school. She confided in him of her dream to become a professor, or an auror even, really she was just desperate to make a difference in someone's life and her dream would not succeed by spending the rest of her days working in a dingy old shop. "And that's why your grandfather brought you here?" He questioned, the topic piquing his interest. "You told him of your dream to teach?" "I guess you could say that." She agreed, not wanting to raise any more questions than necessary. "He didn't bring me from America though, if that's what your meaning. I was already here. My mother sent me to school in America to protect me, with all that Wizarding War carry on and what with me being a Dumbledore, she didn't want to put me in any more danger than I already was. She remained here with my father however and I visited on the holidays." Snape raised a single brow at the mention of her mother and father but changed the subject completely, seeing the woman being to shy away slightly.

"It's getting late." Severus observed. "I should walk you back to the castle before it gets too dark."

"That would be nice" Aria smiled, rising from her seat.

The couple made their way back to the beautiful lit up castle as the sky turned a deep shade of blue above them. They continued to speak all the way down to the dungeons, this time Severus participating just as much as Aria. The Potions Master escorted his apprentice to the door of her quarters, the two of them swaying awkwardly not knowing where to go from here.

"You can come in for a drink... if you'd like." Aria hesitated to ask. "Although I'm not sure I have anything alcoholic, so tea might need to suffice."

"I appreciate the invitation, but it's been a long day for me, I'm afraid I must retire for the night." Now they were back in the familiar castle grounds Severus felt as though he had suddenly returned to his body, and the events of the night lingered at the forefront of his mind, a deep feeling of regret developing in his stomach.

"Very well." Aria agreed, feeling slightly uncomfortable herself. "Good night, Professor Snape."

"Good night, Miss Dumbledore." He spoke softly, rocking anxiously the balls of his feet, waiting for the woman to disappear into her quarters. With a simple nod and one final smile from Aria, she vanished from his sight. The sound of the door closing echoed through the halls, ringing in Severus' ears, and suddenly he felt more alone than he ever had before.

Aria stood with her back to the door, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. As much as she enjoyed the evening with her mentor, the intense awkwardness that occurred at her door, got her thinking about the man on the other side. Her intention was to get to know the man better, and though he did not confide in her much, she felt she had achieved that, maybe more than anyone ever had.

Why had he allowed her to get close to him when he claimed to distance himself from the world?

This thought circled her brain for the rest of the night.

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel

[blindspot-repata]

High School Blindspot - Chapter 8

Prom is the senior year graduation party in the USA. In the story, the correct chronology of this event was not obeyed, because there the party is at the beginning of the year and not at the end as I put it in the fic, because for that date I used the academic year of my country.

I would like to thank Carla (@caizalucca ) for her collaboration with part I of this chapter, which was entirely hers!

Hope you like it!

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Prom - Part I

Ellen ...

Ellen Brigs didn't welcome her children's excitement at the school dance. He had devoted the best years of their lives to those brothers and had plans for them. The way they learned to channel their anger into physical strength and determination to survive in the illegal orphanage where they spent their childhood would make them the best soldiers for the cause she championed. Ordinary social activities like this ball would only take you out of focus on the really important things.

She didn't even care much about Roman. He knew that he would easily convince him to put these frivolities aside in the future. But Remi ... Remi was different from his brother. Much harder to fold. And there was this guy that he was getting involved with. Definitely inappropriate and dangerous. This Kurt guy was a threat to Remi's future, planting fantasies in her head like love being more important than her duties before her country. Ellen knew how this type of teenager saw life: any stable job would be an excuse to start a family. One day she was innocent as well. But she wouldn't let that keep Remi from the bright future he dreamed of for her daughter. No prom. And the change would take her away from Kurt.

An extra study plan. That was the strategy she used to justify Roman's going to the party while Remi stayed home. The consequences of this, Ellen had also predicted: several discussions, countless questions, resistance from her daughter. She handled it as she always did: reminding Remi that if she hadn't adopted them and taken full responsibility for them, the brothers would have been executed when the orphanage was discovered to be considered too lethal for life in society.

Remi...

Remi did everything in her power to convince Ellen that this extra study plan was unnecessary and that she could perfectly go to the dance without it affecting her performance. But it was in vain. The mother was adamant. She came to think of a direct affront, but when the rescue from the orphanage was brought on the agenda, she was silent. Ellen would always be grateful for taking them out of that hell and saving their lives. He thought of sending a note to Kurt through Patterson warning him of his absence, but she never did. There was still a tiny flame of hope inside her that kept her from burying the dream of one last meeting with him before the move and the party was her big chance.

On the day of the event, she dedicated herself to her studies even more diligently. She stayed cool with Ellen because she knew her mother would be suspicious if she acted otherwise. When he managed to finish the extensive to-do list, it was too late. The dance should have started almost an hour ago. It would have to be more than discreet, imperceptible. She prepared the bed with pillows under the blankets for her mother to think she was sleeping. She would go out the window and return without being noticed.

She didn't have a dress or any clothes like the ones the girls wore on those occasions. A flash of discomfort passed through her as she realized this. But she didn’t give up. Clothes would never determine their destiny. She wore dark jeans, a black blouse, and a leather jacket. The pencil in the eyes and the leather choker closed the look before sneaking out the window.

When she entered the party room, everyone looked at her. Remi knew that it was not her angelic beauty that called attention, but the inappropriate clothing. She took a deep breath and covered everything with her eyes in search of Kurt. He was at a table with Allie, visibly restless. That singular way of scratching the back of his neck gave him away. The gibberish soon made him look in her direction. And the smile on his face gave her the certainty that she did the right thing by deceiving her mother and coming even though she was dressed disgustingly in the eyes of the rest of her schoolmates.

He almost ran to meet her.

“Hi... I was already thinking that you wouldn't come.” he said with that crooked smile that always broke Remi's heart.

“I said I'd come.” she also replied with a rare smile.

“Would you like to drink something?” He asked

“I’d like...”

He led her by the arm to the drinks table and served them both. They were still the center of attention and it started to bother Remi a lot. If they were the subject of the next day at school, Ellen could find out and be in trouble with her mother. Kurt noticed his discomfort:

“Do you want to talk in a more discreet place?”

She nodded and left the room.

Outside, the night was dark. Kurt pulled her into his arms and Remi allowed herself to enjoy that moment with him closing his eyes. When she felt energized enough to get out of that hug, she said:

“I know that this outfit is not suitable...”

“I don't care about the clothes you wear. I'm glad you came.”

“Look, I'm not any kind of rebel without cause trying to get attention by appearing here dressed like this...”

“I didn't think that, I swear.” he tried to position himself.

“But the others thought. Ellen didn’t agree that I would come. I left hidden. If I had a dress, I would have put it on, but I didn't have it. And... Wow, the girls are beautiful, especially Allie.”

“You are still the most beautiful of the party even without a dress.” he said, pulling her back into his arms and now putting his lips together in a kiss. Her heart sank with everything he said, it shouldn't have been easy.

The two surrendered to the moment, enjoying each kiss and all the forms of affection they exchanged. They talked banal things. They laughed a little. They looked at the moon. Everything seemed perfect. But he noticed that sometimes, her eyes filled with sadness. He knew it had something to do with her mother and decided to show how much he was willing to fight for her:

“Remi, tomorrow I'm going to your house. I'm going to talk to your mother and show her that, despite going to military school next year, I want to stay with you. She will see that I have good intentions...”

“No! You can’t do that. Ellen would never understand.”

“But I'm worried about you. Your mother suffocates you too much with this study routine. This is not normal.”

“Ellen just wants our good. Roman and I owe her loyalty for taking us out of the orphanage.”

“Remi, I understand that you are grateful to her for this, but you need to agree that this is all very strange. The link that unites a family must be love and not loyalty. Ellen seems to want total devotion from you, and that is not true. She doesn't even let you call her mom.”

“I know everything seems strange, but it's just her way. You have no idea what we went through at the orphanage and what could have happened to us.”

“Okay, she got them out of there, but that's no reason to stop you from living in the present. And the present is us. She needs to understand this.”

“Kurt, being with you is the best thing I've ever experienced, but that is above us. Ellen's work is important and she is preparing me to help her. I owe it to her. What I wanted most was to owe her nothing to be able to face her with all of this, but I can't. And there's Roman, he needs me there too.”

“I will repeat again: Ellen has no right to steal from you the rest of her life. You are not alone in this, Remi. I'm with you. We will fight and get together. Tomorrow I will talk to your mother and make her understand this.”

“No, Kurt, please don't.”

“Why not?”

“There is a lot about the past and the future that I can't tell you. And talking to Ellen wouldn't change anything. We're going to move, Kurt, and I don't even know where. Her job is like that. This is our last night together, that's why I risked so much to be here with you.”

“Our last meeting? And are you just telling me this now?” Kurt stood up impatiently.

“I wanted to tell you, but she took me away from school...”

“Then let's run away. Today! I will not let her separate us. I drop out of military school and get a job.”

“No! You are aware of what you are saying. Military school is your dream. I would never forgive myself for that. And there's Roman, I can't leave him. I'm sorry, Kurt.”

“You are more important to me than any dream.” he said sadly. “But apparently, I don't mean the same thing to you, do I?”

Remi wanted to scream that he was the person she loved the most in the world and kiss him so that she could feel how immense her love was, but she knew there was no hope for them. Ellen wouldn’t accept that relationship and wasn’t willing to see him sacrificing his dreams for a life without a future with her. Her mother always said that the psychological consequences left by the orphanage would make it risky to start a family because sooner or later it would hurt everyone around her. For all this, the words that came out of her lips said the opposite of what she had in her heart:

“Everything between us ends here, Kurt. It was a mistake that I came. I don't expect you to understand, but...” and afraid of betraying, she shut up the rest of the sentence “Good night.”

And she left him alone.

Kurt came back inside the ball feeling disappointed and deceived. Allie came to her and offered her company as a comfort. He accepted.

Remi walked for two blocks almost in a trance trying to contain the urge to cry. And suddenly, her feet no longer obeyed her. Nothing about her obeyed her rational side. In a rush, she turned and ran back to the party. She would find Kurt and say she was willing to risk everything for him.

But she barely entered the room and saw the saddest scene of her life. To the sound of slow music, everyone danced on the dance floor with their bodies glued together. Kurt and Allie, however, were standing still, exchanging kisses that seemed like it would never end.

Stunned, Remi turned her back on the salon and any hope that she might have a normal life. This wasn’t for her. Ellen was right.

_______________________

Prom - Part II

“Wow!” Edgar sighed at the image in front of him. She looked wonderful in the navy blue knit dress with only one strap and went down just to the knee, the platform sandal made her a little taller, her hair parted in the middle and her curls fell over her shoulders, the light makeup only highlighted her eyes, skin tones and a pink lip gloss added the finishing touch.

“What's it?” Edgar wasn’t bad at all in a smoking, white shirt and bow tie. He had grown the goatee in the past few days and she was thinking it charming. Natasha blushed at the penetrating way he looked at her, he had the gift of leaving her like this. The girl was very much in love with him and knew that this love hurt, as much as she was sure about his feeling for her there was an imminent separation due to the boy's departure for college. Maybe it would be good for them to stay away for a while, as their dependence grew and in the last few months they didn’t have a day that they didn’t meet and each moment together made the desire to be close to each other even more. It didn't look healthy.

“You look so beautiful.” She was already beautiful, but managed to stay even more, Natasha had a genuine sweetness that together with the suspicious look that showed made up her personality. Edgar regretted having to go to college. He didn't want to leave everything behind, but he knew it was necessary, his future was at stake and also a chance to build a life with Natasha even though he had to sacrifice himself now. Edgar came out of the trance and greeted her with a kiss on the forehead and can delight in her scent, which was always wonderful. She was the apple of his eye, the girl of his dreams, he would give the world to see her happy and he knew he would do anything for her and think that he could hurt her with distance made him sad and made him want even more being close to her these last few days making sure to make it clear how great his feelings were for her. “Let's go?”

It was Edgar's graduation party. Natasha still had another year at school and would be preparing intensely for NYPD tests which was now her life goal. She felt sad about having to stay away from her boyfriend, but she knew it would be good for him to grow up personally and professionally. They were both doing well and she wasn't sure how they would get together when they were away, but she hoped everything would work out. After the end of the year parties they would say goodbye and she hoped that the time would pass slowly to enjoy every moment that remained beside him, because she knew that after he left the time apart would be long and always scarce when they were together.

When they arrived at the party the music was already playing and most of the guests had already arrived, they sat at the table with their friends where they didn’t stay for a long time, because they really wanted to enjoy the party together. On the dance floor the two moved more to the sound of their hearts than to the music itself, from time to time they looked into each other's eyes and exchanged complicit smiles and also kisses.

Dinner was served and they returned to their friends. They knew that these moments together were numbered because with the school year ending each one would go on their way finding new friends. But those years together would never be forgotten, the games, the complicity, the learnings, everything that lived until then was important for the construction of the personality of each one of them.

Patty was graduating managed to get Roman to go with her and the two of them were dancing awkwardly when they gave up on the dance floor and chose to entertain themselves in another way. The kisses exchanged between the two left them yearning for more, but Roman respected her and felt that they shouldn't go any further knowing that he would be leaving soon. The boy realized when his sister had come to the party even without Ellen's consent, but he was quiet, she knew what to do with her own life. The boy also saw when Kurt returned without her and clung to the blonde cheerleader. The disagreement must have been ugly, because he knew how attached the boy was to his sister.

The party was over before midnight and Edgar took Natasha over to his house. The first night they spent together where his mother acted naturally when she learned that the two were sleeping together, after Natasha left she read a sermon to her son to make him understand how much a girl deserved to be respected. Edgar swore that he loved Tasha and had the best intentions that a boy could have with a girl. After a few days Emma called Natasha to talk and told her several things about sex, illness, unexpected pregnancy and made an appointment with a doctor she trusted so she could do some tests and choose a contraceptive method.

Later that night after making love they were both holding each other when Edgar looked at her with those little dog eyes that she loved. Sweetly, he traced the girl's bare shoulder lazily beside him with his fingers. That touch gave him the slight shivers that he noticed and continued to do.

“My God! That's what I'll miss most in this life!” Edgar felt a lump grow in his throat and closed his eyes to fix the image of her in his mind.

“You will always come home.”

“Yes, but do you have any idea what two, three months are away from you?” Edgar saw the eyes of the girl he loved turn red with tears.

“I know, Ed. But it will fly and we will have so many things to occupy ourselves that we won't even notice the time passing.” Tears fell from Natasha's eyes, who made no effort to stop them. They hugged each other very tight and she can hear the boy's sobs in her ear. “I love you and nothing will change that and I know you love me too.”

The two continued to embrace between sobs and kisses until they calmed down and fell asleep. It was just before the end of the year and as much as it hurt they were sure it would be worth it. Their feeling seemed strong enough to face the distance.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Winter Rain

I'd like to thank @xerxezra for the encouragement. I really needed it, and to the Enya song in which the title and fic is based on. I'm still working on the fic to go with a fanart of mine, but until then feel free to check out my other fics which can be found on my Fanfic Masterpost or Ao3 links which are in my description under my header.

In this fic the reader deals with a change in plans.

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City streets were passing by, underneath stormy skies. No, there were no neon signs but there were cargo trains rolling by on the tracks parallel to the main road. Hmm, wasn't that an Enya song? Perhaps it was.

Funny that you were thinking of new age songs when none were playing on the radio, though you wouldn't have minded if any music was on; it would've made a difference. Enya's songs in themselves reminded you of that one teacher in elementary school who wore that cherry brooch you liked and drowned herself in a bottle of perfume. Your teacher, whatever her name, was halfway pleasant, but always wore a blouse which was a size too big and thus you always saw more of her then you cared to whenever she leaned over a desk to assist another student. Another Enya song, Only Time, reminded you of that one book you tried to read around that time with the questionable cover. Of course, neither of these things had anything to do with the drive home, but it was a passing nostalgia you couldn't pass up.

Wiry, naked trees were scattered along the way; none of them of much consequence except to the fragments of your imagination, where they were dancers in a wintery, mournful ballet. For his part, Rick was unaware of these random thoughts, for you had not mentioned them, but you did wonder about something else when you took a glance at the time and found you two were getting home a little faster than usual. “Rick, do you prefer driving? Or is flying in your spaceship easier?”

“I-I think each one is great in its own way,” he answered, keeping his eyes on the road. “but th-the fastest way to travel is by using my portal gun.”

“So it is. Hmm, makes me wonder what the Flash would have to say about that.” you commented as rain pitter-pattered against the passenger side window. “I bet he'd have a few things to say if you can catch him.”

“Gee, I don't know. I'll ugh - I'll have to ask him the next time I'm in his Earth dimension.”

Sometimes you didn't know if he was being serious or simply joking, though you tended to believe him, especially since it only added to your natural wonder. Your curiosity was a quality which tickled him immensely, but whether he could withstand it while driving was not something you were about to test. Outside, straight ahead, the roads looked all the same, although, to the discerning eye, one would notice the cracks here and there, and the splattered paint on the curb closest to city hall and the fire station. And while the roads were neither empty or full, you would say they were in want of life and perhaps a good shoveling, but with whatever technology hidden in the nooks and crannies of his station wagon, you two drove on the icy roads with ease. It was cold outside, but you weren't cold; Rick made sure of that by giving you the heated seat and a quilt to drape over yourself.

You were, however slightly bored because Zeta-7 hadn't been talking all that much this evening. He had been in a mood and you thought it could've had something to do with the phone call he received while you two were at the craft shop but he didn't say. It hadn't made him any less sweet, but he seemed distant in a familiar way that you were sure you had experienced some time ago. Perhaps he was fearful, he would have reason; contemplative as always; afraid, to an almost unhealthy degree, but risking a chance to placate him, you joked. “Are you trying something new? Is it a seduction tactic, cause I'm certainly intrigued.”

“Wh-what?” he blushed, as he turned the corner to head towards your street.

“Aren't you trying the broodish thing all cool guys do in those cheap romance novels? You know, the kind they sell at the drugstore?” you giggled, turning up the heat in the car to fit your preference.

“Gosh, n-n-no. I ugh - I-I don't think I'm cool enough t-t-to do that.”

“Really? Well, I think if you wanted to you could, though I doubt you'd try it unless convinced it would work. Not sure how effective it would be on me, but this isn't about me. What's going on with you,” you questioned with a serious, but gentle candor. “you haven't said much tonight.”

“I ugh - I have a few things on my mind is all, but it's going t-to be okay. I'm sorry if I alarmed you.”

“Not too much, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Are you?”

Stopping in front of your home, he admitted with a sudden disheartenment. “I don't know. Sometimes it's - it's hard to know especially if you hear bad news but I th-think I will be. Eventually.”

One of his watches was flashing, and it made you wonder if it meant what you thought it meant. While you couldn't read the line of code which passed over its digital face, you thought you'd seen a similar line of code before. “Are you going to have to go? Is that what's bothering you? I know you promised that we'd paint together tonight, but you won't be able to will you?”

“No, I'm - I'm sorry. I had asked for the whole week off, but this - it's from my supervisor. I can't ignore it. I have to go in. I-I really wish I didn't have to.”

“Oh Rick, if you had to go, why didn't you tell me earlier? I would've understood.”

“You were having such a-a great time picking out supplies that I didn't - I couldn't bring myself to crush your excitement. Now th-that I think about it, I don't know if this was any better, but I-I asked that I'd be able to bring you home first so that I wouldn't have to worry about leaving you there without a-a word.”

Zeta-7 hated to break his promises, and you hated the feeling of a broken promise, but as he switched the car off, and you two walked towards your porch, you admitted. “I would've figured it out and got home somehow. I mean there's enough Uber drivers in this town, and one of them would've driven me home, but I'm glad that at least I had this time with you. Please be careful and visit me whenever. You know you can.”

Instead of comforting him as your easy resignation usually would, he balled his fists and hit them against the railing; hateful of his own inadequacies. You had to admit that when he got upset, it caught you off guard, but it also reminded you that he still was very much a Rick, albeit a softer one. “Th-this wasn't supposed to happen. I-I don't understand why it always comes to this. We were - I had so many things planned out for us and th-”

You hugged him from behind, interrupting what he was going to say. “There will always be next time. Calm down,” you cooed, “it's all going to be okay. It's not the end of the world and I'm not upset by it.”

“But I don't - I don't want t-to keep doing this to you. I promised.”

“I know, but it's not like you do this on purpose. You see, this is what happens when a girl like me dates a guy like you. Expect the unexpected, and maybe a few space worms every once in a while if I eat a sandwich from a gas station on a comet somewhere. These things happen.”

“I wish it - it didn't. Lately,” he confessed, his voice taking on its softer quality. “I've been thinking a-about when I'd like to retire. Maybe I finally should.”

“Whatever you want to do, I'm okay with it. As long as it makes you happy, but only if you do it without regret. You would know best of course.”

“I-I certainly hope so.”

You two stood there in silence for a moment, but you heard a beeping noise emanate from under his sleeve. “I d-don't want to say goodbye, but I'll miss you m-mi corazón.”

When he wasn't around, your home felt emptier,

though you refrained from saying so, and because you didn't want to add to his guilt you simply said. “I'll miss you too.”

“Th-there's a chance I won't see you in a few days. At least it will feel th-that way for me.”

“You can always call me, and if you can't then I'll see you when I see you. You know where I'll be.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “somewhere I-I'm not.”

“Don't say that. You're always on my mind, and I'd like to think you're always with me, in one way or another. There's no way I couldn't think of you.”

He turned around to face you, his eyes appearing twice as expressive through his glasses. Zeta-7 studied you and brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. “Siempre estás c-conmigo, and because of - of that, I'm never truly l-lonely.”

“Oh Rick, I love you.”

As easily as it was to adore him with your entire being, so it was to break his heart. Whether it had been a lack of love or an abundance of heartache in his life thus far which shook him to his bones, a replenishing of spirit was always in order. You weren't tall, you never had been, but stepping on the tips of your toes, you pressed a kiss on his cheek that never failed to floor him, and marvel as though it were from a fairy queen; one comprised of stardust and moonbeams. “This means you belong to me. Got it cutie? No one else has dibs except for me, so don't look so surprised. You're mine.”

Like a tease, the weather picked up and the strong gust which followed made you shiver, which alarmed him and prevented his reply. You were trying to tough it out because he could be gone at any moment. And must've sensed this, for against your control you shivered once more, but he pulled off his own scarf to wrap around your neck. “It's going t-t-to get colder,” he said protectively. “so please don't forget to wrap yourself up tonight. I um - I placed a-a few thick blankets in your closet just in case. Why d-don't you go inside?”

“Because I can bear it for a little bit longer. Thank you,” you smiled sweetly up at him, despite losing feeling in your cheeks. “but I doubt I'll try to leave my house for the next few days. I'll look after this for you. Hopefully, it's going to be warmer where you're going.”

“I-I can't say, it's…”

“Classified information.” you finished.

“Gosh, I-I-I guess you know th-the drill by now. Smart girl.”

“Maybe. I don't know much, but I know you, and that you can't tell me certain things because you don't want whichever information to be held against me. At least I'm learning. Either way,” you softened, buttoning the top button on his jacket. “please be careful.”

“I-I will. Can I um - can I-I give you a kiss?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Though of course, he would ask as though your disappointment would disqualify his validity to partake of your affection. He bent down to try to kiss you goodbye, his glasses fogging up at the closeness between you two, but a portal opened right behind him and the guard Rick's on the other side pulled him through. And like that, he was gone again; without a choice; without a goodbye. Your arms which had been around his waist a moment ago, you brought down to rest at your sides, and you too clenched your fists in quick frustration but found yourself halfway exhausted by the cold temperatures and suddenness of it all.

His scarf felt warm and soft about your neck and smelled like him; of vanilla, and of whatever his house smelled like. You thought of the painting that you two would not do tonight, and how you were once again alone. That seemed to magnify it all, intensify the fact that you might've always been alone and destined to remain as such. It used to make you cry when you realized that he could be taken from you at any moment, but you had gotten used to it, or at least you thought you did. Only a few hours ago, you two were at a café, discussing painting techniques and how with a little practice you too could paint that little tree you liked that was growing in the corner of your yard; his enthusiasm was contagious, and you were pumped because you really wanted to show him you had been practicing.

If once again someone cried, then it was you because he couldn't cry where he was going; he wouldn't dare to and repress it for as long as he could help it; if only you were as strong.

Oh, winter rain, how could it relate? It knew little except its natural way; of falling upon the earth; of life; of beginnings; of letting go; of uncertainty. Yet, it wasn't the rains fault; it does not know and could not know; if only. It was cold, and you were cold, with the only part of you that was really warm being where his scarf was.

Thinking of what lied in store for him made you want him back all the more so that you could hold him, and make him feel safe. You wanted him back now because it seemed so unfair that they'd take him when he didn't want to go, but you couldn't bring him back; not even for his sake; being against your power just like the rain. For now, all you could do was only open the front door to your home and step in as the last train passed by; not knowing when the next will come.

Fin

[parinobaka]

❤️

19 WED 2022

What a way to end a "relationship."

He called me last night because he wasn't so sure about his feelings when someone else kinda came into the picture. He was hanging out with a girl for the past few days I didn't see him. He said that when they hung out it was all platonic. Then on Monday, they casually brought up what if they dated. The girl's moving in a few months so he told me if they started anything, it wouldn't last long anyway. But he considered it.

Doesn't matter if he had feelings for her or not, I remember clear as day during confession he said he's willing to wait for me.

I didn't hold any hope to that, but that just showed how much he really cared about me.

Because I saw how genuine his feelings were and how much he cherished me, I wanted to give him a chance, and let down my guard a bit.

I couldn't date him at the moment because of my family situation right now.

And he asked me what do I fear if my dad found out about him.

I said I fear nothing, if he yells at me, he yells at me. I'm not afraid of that.

Then he asked what were the consequences of my dad finding out.

I said, my dad would be disappointed. He'd probably let me do whatever, but he would be disappointed. I probably shouldn't have said this, but I also said I might stop talking to the guy, which is not completely true, but I honestly have no idea how it would go.

Then he said it all clicked

He said that there would be no explanation I could give him that could make him think otherwise.

And I had to ask him twice what he was getting at.

Then he said you don't want to hang out with me outside of school or date me because you don't want your father to be disappointed. And this is not worth it.

I remember just being stunned at that realization.

Then I immediately thought about what if I just dated him in secret.

What fucking idiotic thing to think about.

Then he said, next time, please be more clear.

And I apologized to him for being emotionally involved with me.

He also said that I set myself up for heartbreak because I knew I couldn't do anything more with the guy yet I got closer to him.

And after thinking about it.

I'm really not sorry

What I got out from what he said was: You're not worth dating because you value your family more.

If I dated him in secret, I'd still think about what my dad would think, and that would just ruin my relationship with my dad.

I love my dad and value my relationship with him more than this kid.

I've really had it.

I'm done.

I'm so set on giving him a piece of my mind because he brought my family into it, and blamed me about us falling for each other I guess.

I gave him a chance

Because I saw potential in him.

He was so genuine with his feelings, so caring, so kind. I returned his feelings because I wanted him to be happy, too. I kept on receiving and wanted to reciprocate it.

His true colors really showed last night.

I would never leave my family just for some boy I met in college.

What I learned, and what I should have first put into thought, was how did this guy think about his own family.

I want him to be happy and love someone without restraints.

I just don't want to be in his picture anymore.

20 JAN 2022

The thing is tho.

I sincerely cherished my friendship with him.

I really didn't want to ruin that.

But I don't know if things can go back to the way they were before.

I don't blame the guy for his feelings faltering. We weren't bound.

It just hurts

I wanted to show him love in-return for all the things he's shown and done for me, but he ended up getting hurt by it I guess.

Kinda ironic?

I showed him so much love, yet he was hurt.

I have realized and accepted I can't make him happy anymore

And I'm okay with that.

[onisiondrama]

this isn't really about Onion, but i've been looking at lots of blogs like yours and i'm starting to get uncomfortable that i'm a 17.5 yr old girl dating a 26 yr old man. i feel like he emotionally abuses me sometimes, he gets mad when i fall asleep early and tells me i don't love him. once, he told me he took 10 of his antidepressants at once and i was sobbing and shaking because he wouldn't respond to my texts. he said he wanted to die and i'd get over it. (1/2)

an hour and a half after he told me that, he was suddenly perfectly fine and he told me he actually only took 2 pills. i don't know what to do. do you have any advice?

~~~~~~~~

I don’t know you or your boyfriend personally so I don’t want to come off like I’m telling you what to do, but I’m going to pass along what “knowledge” I have and hopefully it will help. I’m going to say “you” a lot, but I’m talking in general, not personal. There are two major red flags I see.

1. The age difference

There is a HUGE power imbalance when a 17 year old dates an adult and it’s very layered so bear with me. 

I’m going to be saying “power imbalance” and “power scale” a lot. What I mean by that is if someone has a higher position on the power scale in a relationship, they could use that against the person in the lower position to manipulate/control them. The further apart the people on the scale, the easier it is for the person higher on the scale to control the person lower. I hope this makes sense.

Emotional imbalance: I’m not saying it always happens, but it WAY easier for a 26 year old to emotionally manipulate a 17 year old than another 26 year old. A great example of this is actually Greg!

You can see that the relationships he started with 17 year olds and an 18 year old lasted WAY longer than the two relationships he had with women in their 20′s (Green and purple dots, they’re not actually dots they’re lines too but the relationships were so short the dots overlap). Both of the relationships with the women in their 20′s only lasted a few weeks and this is because they saw RIGHT THROUGH his emotionally manipulative tactics. Greg said that Hannah broke up with him because he told her he loved her after two weeks. This not normal. It’s a RED FLAG and it seems she took notice. Compare that to Lainey who was a 17 year old high school student when they began talking. They started dating Feb 27th and were already engaged by March. His pickup line was asking Lainey why they think he is their soulmate. Love-bombing a googley eyed teenager with a crush so they can get the relationship moving very fast and very intense. RED FLAG!

If you want, Greg’s ex Adrienne wrote a long email about her experience with Greg. (She was 26, he was 25) Although it is very long, I HIGHLY recommend it because she points out a lot of Greg’s manipulative techniques and she actually confronted him about it.

There is also a common technique adult men use on teenagers, I don’t know what it’s called, but they’ll say things like: “I don’t usually date someone so young, but you’re mature for your age.” “I’m afraid to talk to you because I might fall for you and you are so young.” etc etc.. they know full well what they are doing. It’s 100% BULLSHIT to make the teenager feel like they must be special to gain the interest of an adult and that THEY need to PROVE themselves to the adult. RED FLAG!! This puts the adult higher up on the power scale.

Financial imbalance: Dating a 26 year old as a teenager can be very appealing because 26 year olds generally make more money than other teenage potential dates. It could seem very luxurious. Like dating an 18 year old boyfriend, picking you up in his used car, getting a slice of pizza, then going to his parents house to watch a movie. Compare that to getting picked up in a nicer car, get taken out to a decent restaurant, then go over to his own apartment! It makes the teenager feel like an adult. That you’re more special than other teenagers you know. Again, puts the adult higher on the power scale.

Another financial aspect is dependence. Most 17 year olds are dependent on their parents and trying to figure out what they will do with their life. Go to school? Start working? Try to move out? An adult dating a teenager can give them the illusion of financial independence. Move in with me! It might feel like freedom at first. You aren’t dependent on your parents, you don’t have to worry about your future for the time being... but this could all be a trap. You went from being dependent on your parents to being dependent on your partner and they might use that against you. This very much puts the adult way higher on the power scale than the teenager.

This can also get tricky when wanting to leave a live-in relationship as a teenager. Moving back home with your parents? Starting financially over from square one and having to listen to “I-told-you-so’s” from your family? It almost seems better to just stick it out and wait for the good times.

Life Experience imbalance: 26 years olds tend to have more life experience than a teenager. A 17 year old teenager doesn’t really know what is normal and not normal in a relationship, how fast should things move along. What is normal and not normal in the bedroom. They would not know how to properly introduce things like BDSM or poly relationships into their life and generally adults will take advantage of that when that’s something they want.

Brain development: A 17 year old brain isn’t fully developed. They just aren’t it’s fact. That’s why in the US the drinking age is 21. The rational/decision making/consequence predicting part of the brain is not fully developed. It doesn’t matter how high your grades are, how mature your body looks, or how mature everyone says you act. You’re going to make dumb decisions, we all do it at that age. 

2. Emotional Abuse

This part I will get personal. It’s good that you recognize what he is doing might be emotional abuse because it is. Threatening suicide is 100% a fucked up, emotionally manipulative things to do to someone. The fact that he only took two pills tells me he had NO intention of dying and only wanted to control you. Again, Greg is a great example of this. In 2012 he publicly threatened suicide because he was trying to gain the attention of his ex-wife so he could convince her to cancel their alimony. (Here is his posts and videos from that time.) What did he say about it years later? That horrible time in 2012 when he was sooo emotionally distraught he was thinking about killing himself?

In the 2016 video "Re: List of Onision Abuse Accusations", Greg admits he used threatening to kill himself as a manipulation tactic against Skye: “That is true. I did publicly threaten to kill myself. I have no defense for that because publicly threatening to kill yourself is really stupid. Especially since that was a manipulative tactic and I had no actual intention of killing myself.” He says he was angry at Skye for lying in court to get more money from him.

It was fake. He faked it. He admitted it was an emotionally manipulative tactic. No intentional of killing himself. 100% bullshit, 100% RED FLAG!

NOW.. If any of this resonates with you and you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and want to get out, you can do it! 

Emotionally manipulative people like control. They might make it hard to leave. I think the best way to get is no contact. Break up and walk away, block them, ignore them. They might try all kinds of things to gain back control over you like threatening suicide, trying to get you back, or spreading lies about you. Hopefully none of that will happen, but if someone does threaten to commit suicide after you break up with them and they can’t seem to be talked out of it, try not to get back together with them to make them feel better. I haven’t been able to find any guide or what to do on the internet about a situation like that (I tried to find one a few months ago for a friend, but had no luck), but I knew someone in HS in a situation like that. They called the police and their ex had to explain to the police and hospital that they weren’t actually suicidal.

If anyone has any better advice for a situation like that, please let me know. Again, I had a hard time finding information online.

I did find this article about how to leave a narcissist, but I think it could apply to any emotionally manipulative person because it gives steps to to prevent the narcissist/emotional manipulator from gaining back control over you.

If anyone has any better advice or want to correct me please do so!

Good luck anon!!!