#i wouldn't care if this wasn't a direct sequel

[forthegamesmyguy]

yeeeeeaaaahhhhh.......... :/

the more time and space I have from actually finishing, and just like ruminating on it all over and over..... My impressions are just growing colder and less forgiving. I'm gonna have to write them all out sometime here, it's just how I process things. But it'll be hard. Saying goodbye to my favourite little guy maybe of all time, is very hard. My shorthand thoughts are basically: as an action fantasy game, it's fantastic... it's cinematic and gorgeous and the narrative is powerfully emotionally motivated, and I'm certain someone that has no DA knowledge can leave it feeling like it was a great piece of art; as an RPG, it's quite middling....it's got a decent character creator with 6 technically different bgs but it really isn't much more than flavour imo, and ultimately everything is either a binary choice or no real choice at all (companion quests have two paths, the ending itself is one flavour, though I will give credit for the suicide mission elements that do actually add a bit of variability, but dialogue options are often three ways of saying the same thing slightly different)...it's not bad, it's serviceable...it can be called a role playing game, in a very specific way.....but it is not an rpg robust and full of choice; as a dragon age game, it's not very good....the amount of auto dialogue was giving me ME3 flashbacks in a very bad way, bc at least Shepard was always a less dimensional (on OUR part, the player) character.....but as predicted, rook is even less your own than Inquisitor, and even more basic...you find your character very often just...saying shit, and it's like "oh no, the bad guy is bad! But don't give up team we are the good guys and we can persevere. *Beat* also I can't cook ha ha ha" Also now that I'm in another playthrough I can see just how much dialogue is repeated and it's most of it..... 😬 and the lore was ....odd.... some things are like, glaringly bad (blight effects...) and others, most actually, are cases of just....deciding that it didn't matter...and for me personally the Big Lore Reveals (that I assume any longtime solas enjoyer like myself already all knew lol) were very Telling Me The Story you know? I found the writing this time to be rather..."accessible" is the word I am thinking of but when I say it in this case I mean it as like, commercially accessible. like....marvel/Disney, ya know... we are all On the Hero Spectrum and we basically only talk about Pulling through!!! Because heroes don't give up! We have each other!!! We'll never turn into those EVIL people! ...idk. idk. antagonists from main and side missions often felt flat, Pure Evil redshirt mobs....and the obvious, the lack of respect for the world so far....we see/hear nothing of any dao/daa companions or major players besides Morrigan, who isn't there bc shes morrigan :/ theres one DA2 cameo, one dai cameo....that is it....DA to me means 1 meaningfully expressively different ways to roleplay the PC 2 a growing world state of different flavours that continues to reference itself as it expands 3 a fantasy setting where we get a new crew of companions to wander around with per title .... we get the last one sure, but I didn't really feel the first two so like I said I don't see it as a particularly successful dragon age game; and for ME most importantly, as a Solas game, game about Solas, marketed to me as a game of choice that still somehow resolves the tale meaningfully and satisfactorily no matter the path................ sorry. it's a fail for me. I'm sure I can go on and on and on about it but I need to just let it simmer for now.

Someone who isn't me can absolutely have a blast and come away thinking wow what a game. But she ain't me 😔 I didn't especially enjoy the combat, like I guessed, but it's fine, I can endure combat that I don't super think is fun....I think the slimming down on the RPG elements that are collecting and selling and min maxing and shit, potions loot etc, was nice and convenient. They COULD keep resource intensive stuff around but I personally don't care 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I really liked the simplicity and ease of just, look for a green pot to break lol. Played a rogue though and that fuckin arrow regen mechanic....not for me. Will have to see what ranged combat is for the rest. The music was the weakest of the series by far for me, characterless, very general (not always unique location/character specific pieces....), why is there synth to begin with but definitely why is there so much of it lmao... Biggest compliments I can give are the cinematics and environmentals and lighting, looked even more beautiful than inquisition. Though I've been experiencing a textural bug with white dots all over mostly hair and sometimes floors.... driving me insane. It changes person to person but there are a few VAs that were particularly Cartoon voicing and I don't really enjoy that, so I can't just wholesale compliment the voice talent.... But in general the main cast is very well played. And GDL, for me, is literally carrying this title on his Welsh shoulders. The ghil moments we get are also actually pretty fire

But yeah. Idk. I knew there was basically no way for this game to satisfy me, but I was so hopeful bc the Solas enjoyers in the dev team have been hyping it so much as such a great conclusion to his tale........... Makes it feel worse in a way. In a couple cases I at least genuinely believe the person just likes stories that end this way. And that's fine. But man. Man..... I really just. Wanted something else...I finished 11am, starting the climax and final point of no return at 5am already exhausted but so eager to finish, after waking up at like 2pm on election day and just playing through the evening. Woke up 6pm later on, of course my first thoughts are of this new game, the new ending I'm left with, time has passed I slept and I'm thinking more about what happened, and then I hear the news get turned on and then there's election results playing. So that was my experience ending this. I suffered in the fake world, went to sleep, then woke up to suffer in the real world and I can't use the fake world to escape for fun... It unfortunately colours the whole thing in an even worse light for me 😔 I'm just feeling emotionally drained. And I really wish. I really fuckin wish, this thing that's meant so much to me, could offer a bit of relief :/

all right. before I get my hands on this lemme get thoughts out

I don't care for the textural look. The blurred yassification of it all... Hoping for mods 😭

Solas better not die or I'm quitting

Inquisitor....Imma be real idrc 😔🤷🏼‍♀️ like I'm sorry but they're literally all gonna be the same character? That's a joke.

Sorry I'm not being Fair. I bet it ends up like this: you are kind of sad and kind of nice when you "redeem" and you are kind of mad and kind of mean when you "stop". If you romance him your Lavellan will make that stupid ass frowny face from DAI but otherwise be basically the same as "redeem"

I'm expecting to not like the combat unfortunately....it looked like everything just jumps you and you exclusively and the difficulty is just gonna be even more mobs literally mobbing you while ur companions looked like they were kinda doing fuck all ........ Plus the only 2 😭 my banter 😭😭 but yeah idk. I get they're rly relying on the detonation thing but tbh w u I didn't rly do that shit in DAI....dao yes bc combat is slower. When it's faster like this I honestly just turn my brain off lol

I'm guessing I'm gonna go for davrin, emmerich or bellara first. I also see them as possible Culprits but idk if we're getting yet another betrayal arc tbh

Would love one of the romances that happens outside ur own to b with that old man

Taash got something Mythal related going on ? Suspicious

I'm expecting this to be my least favourite of the four but that's rly bc it wasn't allowed to be what it should have been for most of its development..... The live service skeleton is all over the look of this and it seems to be anchoring the story, but Make it relevant to the sequel hook from DAI....it seems like it's just kind of set up to fail as the weakest narratively. Which sucks bc it's the big climax. Hoping I'm pleasantly surprised

I was gonna read the supplemental stuff but didn't. I've read summaries tho, so my take from the dread wolf was seemed to be that the lyrium idol=the lyrium dagger....

very curious to know if we can interact with Solas at will in the lighthouse or like. How does it work. Anyway can I ask him about his fish

Really hoping the soundtrack references Morris when it comes to Inquisitor and Solas :/ and any other returning notes I just don't know who else gonna be there lol

I honestly haven't given it too much thought beyond uhhhh my guy better be okay

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Oh and aren't they also gonna charge like 50 USD for that book too? Yeesh

I haven't seen the price range, but yeah I don't know. I mean, I'm sure the artbook part will be super cool! I'm actually curious of what it may reveal about the game's development, this part is interesting to me. But yeah, they *really* could have done without the Timeline shenanigans. People would have bought the book without that incentive.

[blacknedsoul-blog]

An unnecessarily detailed analysis of the (re)encounter between Annabel and "Leo" (part II)

Evil tongues say I've had this shit in the oven for several weeks because I bought the fast pass on episode 105 and smoked the whole season one afternoon when I was bored as a fucking oyster about to climb the walls. Don't listen to them, they're telling the truth.

So, yeah, people. We had a flashback. One that comes right after the last one we had. Aside from the fact that we finally know a little more about Theo, I want to focus on the direct sequel to a review I did a while back. So let's get started.

I'm still trying to decide if Annabel is complaining just because she had to get off her ass or because "Leo's" room being so far away from hers is, ahem, inconvenient. Another detail that someone mentioned on the discord, is that Annabel does this thing where she grabs her dress when she is trying to maintain the performance.

(later edit: someone commented to me that actually their rooms are ridiculously close to each other. So allow me to insert ridiculous jokes about how the first thing Ira will do when these two are engaged is take his precious daughter who is not to be touched before marriage somewhere else).

...Ah, they put... they put Annabel in Lenore's old room. Yeah, that must have been uncomfortable as shit. 

Okay. This is something I kind of suspected in her first stolen moment at the Arboreum, but I think this confirms it for me: yes, Lenore teasing Annabel is a way of expressing annoyance without being directly hurtful. 

Raise your hand if you enjoy seeing "Miss Proper Lady" lose her fucking temper. Bonus points if she deserves it. 

Lenore, I don't know if taking your clothes off is the best way to get Annabel to stay on topic. I do want to emphasize her face in that moment, though, like she knows Annabel cares about her, but she's still angry at her, and pressuring her to drop the mask is literally the only way she has to express it. I like it because it's consistent with her stolen moment in the Arboreum. 

"Admire this magnificent door made of door. Yes, an excellent door. Wonderful door. Eyes on the door, Annabel, eyes on the door and not on your crush taking off his jacket in front of you. Also, don't think too much about the fact that if anyone sees this, everything that is important to you will fall apart".  

Pause. Where did we see Annabel say that? Ah, yes. Well, if we had any doubts about posh besties, this confirms it. 

I want to linger on the faces of both of them in this scene because, for the love of Nyarlathotep, they are painful to watch knowing that this will end with both dead. 

Yes, Annabel, this "perhabs" was very VERY serious. 

I'm sure this is the second time in Annabel's life that someone has asked her if she wants something. And it's the same person. Ouch.

Does anyone else in the squad find it disturbing that ANNABEL is concerned about moral issues? 

That's not how Kabedons are made, missy. 

LENORE, LOOK AT THE FUCKING FACE SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU WITH, SHE WOULDN'T BE "PRETENDING TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU", SHE'S EATING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HAND RIGHT NOW. IF SHE WASN'T AFRAID OF JAIL AND WASN'T SO VICTORIAN, SHE'D BE ASKING IF SHE COULD GET IN YOUR PANTS.   

Okey, I need to know how this went from "pff, it's not a real marriage, we're both women!" to "I'm gonna fuckin' whore myself with Nyarlathotep Tumblrsexymen to come get you, baby. Shit, if these two die without having this conversation, I'm going to shoot myself in the mouth with a medieval arquebus. 

I like this moment because it tells you two interesting things: one is that Annabel must have a complicated relationship with her father, she cares for him and maybe feels he loves her in his own way, but at the same time Ira is her jailer, the main culprit of the golden cage she's trapped in. Another thing: we know Lenore used to care about her father, but come on, after everything that happened, I doubt she gives the man a second thought. 

...I wrote practically the exact same dialog in a fanfic. Actually, in the first Nevermore fanfic I ever wrote, when the fuck did my bullshit ever come true? 

I was racking my brain for a while about why Annabel keeps doing this. Like, look at this shit, even Ada or Morella would be able to see that this is bullshit. And I think I have an idea why. 

I think Annabel started to figure out how to make this work even before she came in. Maybe she's not all in, but at least the idea is tempting. The thing is, she's putting a lot on the line here: her life, her relationship with her father (the only family member we know of), what little freedom she has.

And that means she has to put her chips on the right person. She knows how the social game works, she knows how to manipulate the stakes of her hand, maybe she even thinks she knows how to get around those pesky legal snags when they come up. 

But she's not cunning, she's not quick-thinking, she lacks determination, and she's definitely not brave. Lenore can wrap herself in big dreams and beautiful words all she wants, but if she can't make up for Annabel's weaknesses, it's a losing bet from the start. On top of that, she has to be able to read her: in Victorian engagements, even your pet was into that shit, so sneaking away to plan things would be more of a rare privilege than a constant, her playmate has to be able to understand her perfectly, because they can't waste valuable time explaining minutiae. They have to be on the same page to the millimeter. 

Annabel is a player. And as such, she knows that in games where you have a partner, the key to winning isn't playing your own cards or chips well, it's being able to synchronize with your partner to give each other better plays until one of you manages to win. 

And if I had to bet, I think that is the Lenore that Annabel wants back: the Lenore who can read her, the Lenore who can get under her skin and know her true intentions even when Annabel is wearing the most perfect mask. The Lenore who can smile boldly and tell her that everything will be all right. 

Of course, Lenore passed the test. With a more than perfect score. 

The chapter ends with Lenore giving Annabel the final decision: if she sees no reason to stay, she won't, and she can assure her that she'll be fine. But if she's in, she'll do everything in her power to make it work. 

This was the moment that tore me up inside because it made me drop the shingle of sad, sad shit. 

Conclusions

And here's why I decided to post this analysis after the season.  

One thing this episode told me was that I was wrong about one thing: the relationship between these two isn't exactly what it used to be. What this episode also told me was that, despite everything, the two of them seemed to be able to communicate and find common ground, to make deals, to give each other choices. Shit we don't see anymore in their time in Nevermore. 

And with good reason.

In Nevermore Annabel and Lenore are adrift. No memories, no identity, no bonds. As if that weren't enough, both are terrified: Annabel has built all her means of survival around a context that she masters perfectly, and in Nevermore she doesn't know what's going on; on the other hand, Lenore's bravery and cunning are qualities that turn from virtues to flaws in a context where every single one of her decisions has repercussions for the people around her; she's willing to take anything, but not what happens to the people she loves. 

These two idiots know only one thing: that they love each other. And for Annabel and Lenore, loving means protecting. They have to try to protect each other because they really love each other. They love each other so much that they can't.

Because the only way for Annabel to protect Lenore is to be the queen of the board, to be the piece that everyone wants to get out of the way because her presence is too much of an inconvenience, because if she's good at anything,  it's dazzling so hard that no one is able to really see her. On the other hand, the only place Lenore can protect Annabel is by her side, she won't have a Spectre, but she's willing to do what it takes to take care of her if she stays where she can fight for her. 

But that won't happen because of the irreconcilable conflict caused by the memory (false or not, in practice it doesn't matter) that the Deans showed Annabel. She can't tell her that, she won't tell her that, how could she? It would tear Lenore apart and at worst alter her memories. But on the other hand, Lenore obviously wants to know, because she sees that Annabel is suffering, she wants to be there, she wants her to let her comfort her, to be by her side to help her sort this out, and all her pleas fall on deaf ears for reasons she can't even fathom.

But without realizing it, in all this devotion and accompanying fear, Annabel and Lenore are repeating the same controlling patterns of those who tried to save the other in life. 

Annabel is doing the same thing Thaddeus did when he got Lenore a fiancé, the same thing the doctors did when they kept her drugged 24/7 as a treatment even though she was sick, dare I say the same thing Theo did: assuming she knows better than she does what's good for her. "Protecting" her, even when that happens to be the agency Lenore is desperately trying to have over her life after being deprived of her freedom.

And on the other hand...this.

By taking full responsibility for what happened, Lenore is doing the same thing as Ira and all the people we meet in Annabel's life: denying her agency as an individual. Annabel is not a naive brat who was seduced by sweet words, she is a grown woman who was very, very clear about what the risks were. That they both ended up dead is partly her fault, but by turning this affair into "if I hadn't gone looking for you," Lenore completely invalidates Annabel's feelings, desires, and choices. 

A relationship that was once built on respect for choice and shared decision-making has now become a power game that neither can win, because one of the most important foundations of their relationship is that they are both equals. 

I'd like to end this on a more positive note, but...uh...well, the thing is, I don't. Like, that they're going to reconcile, they're going to reconcile, you know? But for that to happen, somebody's got to give them a massive punch like, something that tears them apart so they realize how fucking bad they are do-

You know what? Yeah, that might do it.

[gretavanfleetposts]

Give Me Shelter

Author's Note: The long awaited sequel to Make Her Happy that literally no one asked for lol here's the first part

Content Warnings: dirty talk, penetrative sex (18+ minors do not interact), swearing

Word Count: 5.5k

Jake stood on the other side of the door with a grin plastered to his lips that you knew he hoped would make up for the fact that it was him rather than his brother.

It almost did.

It doesn't.

Almost.

"He could at least call me," you said angrily without so much as a 'hello' in his direction before you turned and let him meander through the door in your pursuit. This was an occurrence you were getting all too used to and formalities had been done away with long ago. You certainly weren't in the mood tonight.

"Maybe he was worried he'd feel the icy stare through the screen," he quipped from behind you, placing the bouquet of flowers in his hands that you hadn't even noticed on the counter as he followed you into the kitchen.

"He'd deserve it if he did."

You were beyond frustrated with him truthfully. Josh had sent Jake in his place several times since the first, although the first time had been the only time things had gone as far as they had. But you were beginning to feel like you were dating his twin. Not that he wasn't good to you when he came over. He just wasn't the one you wanted.

Well, maybe it was a bit more complicated than that.

"You want me to fight with you? Let you pretend I'm him?"

"He wouldn't fight with me," you sighed as you rummaged around in your kitchen cabinets looking for a container large enough to hold the full meal you had cooked. "He'd be understanding and sweet and make me feel heard and it would annoyingly take all of the fight right out of me."

"I'll be me then and fight back," he said with a wide smile that you didn't return as you moved to put dinner into the tupperware you had pulled out. But when he saw what you were doing, his brows furrowed and the smile disappeared. "Woah, what are you doing? It's still hot, we should eat it."

"I don't want to. I'm just going to order something," you answered flatly.

"I can do that." He took your wrists in his hands to stop your movements, even as you tried to pull them away. "Hey, wait, stop, I can do it. I'll put it away and do the dishes while the food is on its way. Just tell me what you're in the mood for."

It felt like a dam breaking as you let your face fall into his chest, his arms circling your body as tears began to flow.

"I just don't understand why he can't at least call or give me some kind of warning. He always does this, he does this more and more, and more and more I just feel like an accessory that sometimes he wants to wear and sometimes he doesn't."

"You're not an accessory to him, I promise you." He soothed you with a quiet voice and a hand snaking up into your hair to hold you against him. "He wanted to be here, he always does. It kills him that he's away so much but he really does love you."

"You're off, you have a break. Why are you here and he isn’t?"

"Well, I don't require nearly as much maintenance as that little diva," he answered with a laugh at his own joke. The joke didn't reach you though. It only seemed to solidify the feelings you'd been having more and more lately: Josh didn't have time for you.

"Come on," he jostled you from your thoughts before they could spiral, holding you away from him so he could meet your eyes. "You're hangry. Food will put things into perspective."

Food won't fix this.

Pizza does sound really good right now though.

You swiped tears away from your eyes with the back of your hand and sniffed back whatever waterfall needed desperately to fall.

"Pizza?" you asked quietly.

He smiled.

"Pizza it is. Go put your feet up; I've got this." He nodded toward the living room and with a sigh, you resigned to let him take care of things for the night. But before turning to head toward some actual relaxation, you met his eyes with gratefulness seeping into yours.

"Thank you."

"You can thank me later," he said with a smirk that had your stomach doing somersaults despite your internal reprimanding.

—

"Food's here."

Jake's voice woke you. Well, that and the smell of piping hot pizza. You hadn't realized you'd fallen asleep, hadn't even realized you'd been tired. But needing to cry often did that: lulled you into a frustrated slumber of avoidance.

"God, that smells so good," you commented, stretching and sitting up to make room for him on your couch as he set the large box down on the coffee table.

"I know. Way better than whatever you were cooking." He joked as he took a seat next to you, fiddling with the TV remote while you threw open the box and pulled out a piece.

"Be nice, I'm still hangry," you mumbled as you began eating in a way that betrayed how much the cheese was burning your tongue.

"I mean it," he added, dipping his head a little to see your face better. "You can yell at me if it would be cathartic."

There was a sincerity behind his eyes that warmed you. He always was too sweet to you, to do this so consistently. And surely he was busy some of those times. Never too busy for you though, it seemed. Because he always showed up.

Why do you always show up?

"Wouldn't be the same," you shrugged, abandoning the slice of pizza you had grabbed on a free space of the box as you decided to let it cool a bit more before you burned the rest of your mouth.

You felt his fingertips suddenly brush against your skin as he pushed hair behind your ear almost absentmindedly. And meeting his eyes, you saw more of that sincerity. But this time, your eyes plunged down to his lips, a movement that surely didn't go unnoticed as his followed suit. And you suddenly felt nervous under his gaze, anticipating what he might do as a result of that look and unsure of what that would mean to you.

"Jake…I don't know how much I'm in the mood for date night."

That's not true.

It was an easy way to put a swift end to the tension and had him dropping his hand back into his lap with a soft smile that didn't look the least bit wounded.

Maybe he's just good at hiding it.

"That's fine. I don't have to be Josh tonight. I can be whoever you want me to be."

You knew deep down what you wanted him to be that night but you didn't let yourself acknowledge it. You couldn't. Not before dinner, anyway.

"Can you be my friend right now?" you asked instead, ignoring how hot you suddenly felt and how good the exposed skin on his chest suddenly looked.

His smile widened a tinge as he caught the path of your eyes again but he didn't acknowledge it.

"Easiest thing in the world," he said in a soft voice, sitting back further as if to welcome whatever you were about to lay at his feet.

You sighed and turned your eyes toward the pizza box as you thought about it, the fact that Josh wasn't there and Jake was.

"I'm so proud of you all but it's getting harder. Undeniably. And I just don't see him ever having the time for me. At least not more than he does now. And even now, the time he has for me is…dwindling."

"Have you told him this?"

"No," you admitted. "Not lately and not in those words. With the tour ramping up and having him home this week, I was trying not to give him anything to dwell on on the road. No distractions."

Maybe that was stupid but you hated the idea of him being far away and worried about your relationship. You hated the idea of him being onstage and not being able to fully enjoy it, worried about you the entire time.

"You're part of his life, not a distraction. If he wants to make this work, he'll have to find a better balance. I think he'd understand that if you just talked to him."

Maybe he couldn't make up for the lost time. Or maybe you'd grown too attached to what seemed to always be right in front of you, like you'd been an afterthought for too long.

That's not fair to Josh and you know it.

"Aren't you worried he's gonna stop sending you?" You shot Jake a smile that masked the thoughts you'd begun to spin in your mind. But he only shook his head and sighed heavily.

"He knows I'm not the answer," he said candidly.

You thought about that for a moment before meeting his gaze again and asking the obvious.

"Then why does he keep sending you?"

"Because I'm always free," he suddenly smiled, masking his own thoughts he'd begun to spin in his mind, surely.

You couldn't stop your own smile, even knowing it wasn't the truth.

He was quiet a moment, turning away to face the TV you'd both been ignoring and the pizza that was cooling as he seemed to lose himself in thought. But god, he looked pretty that way. You hated to admit it but he did. He was a good listener and easy to listen to. He'd been your sounding board for the past few months on the date nights he'd filled in for, helping you finish off bottles of wine and working through a list of classic movies one or both of you had never seen. He'd eaten countless dishes meant for you and Josh and even learned the card game you had meant to teach Josh, although he was a much poorer sport than his twin would have been. But still, it had made you laugh watching him try to cheat using the reflection of the wine glass sitting in front of you and throwing the cards all over the table when he'd been caught. He'd only done it because you'd been crying when he had arrived and he was determined to take your mind off the obvious. And then there were the flowers, which were becoming a more common occurrence…

"Did you talk about it the first time after I left?"

You felt like you were pulled out of a reenactment of a dream but you knew without asking what he was referring to.

The first time. When you said filthy things to me and I loved it.

"No. It didn't feel like we needed to. We just woke up and went about our day together."

Like nothing even happened.

"Maybe that's why he sends me," Jake suggested. "He isn't worried about it."

You were unsure what to make of it and even more unsure of what to say. So instead, you nodded silently and reached for your pizza, deep in thought and ignoring whatever Jake put on the TV despite your eyes fixing to it. And you ate mindlessly for what felt like a long moment before you finally spoke again, a half-baked sentiment that was more formed out of anger and frustration than anything else.

"I'm not dating you though, I'm dating him. He could act like it."

Jake didn't turn to you.

"Is this your way of telling me you want me to leave?"

"No. It's better than being alone."

"Well, I'd hardly call that a raving review," he laughed, seeming to fake hurt that was probably somewhat real.

"It is nice of you to do this," you quickly added, getting a glimpse of how it had sounded without.

"I don't mind," he answered before taking a bite of pizza that effectively jumbled his words as he continued speaking. "Not in the slightest."

"Well, to be fair, you got to fuck me so no, I imagine you don't mind."

He looked somewhat shocked as he tried to swallow his bite rather than choke, mumbling out a, "Jesus-", that you didn't let him finish.

"Am I wrong?"

"I don't keep coming over here with my hopes up if that's what you're implying."

Would it be so bad if you did?

"You don't think about it?" you questioned, feeling emboldened by God knew what and hoping, praying even, that you liked his answer, especially given how much you'd thought about it as of late.

Fucking annoying, honestly. He could have at least done me a favor and been bad in bed. Maybe that would have made things easier.

"Of course I think about it," he admitted, "I think about it all the fucking time. It's indecent how much I think about it."

That brought a smile to your face, one that you couldn't stifle even if you tried.

"But I'm happy with whatever you're happy with," he continued. "I don't come over here expecting anything. I'll take whatever you want to give me, whatever that means for you. I told you, I'm whoever you want me to be and that, tonight, is friend."

I don't want you to just be my friend tonight.

You played with the hem of the oversized t-shirt you were wearing, suddenly far less hungry than you had been as you thought about what he was saying and how he had made you feel over the past few months.

And why does he always have to look so fucking good?

"What if I didn't want it to just be friend?" you asked hesitantly, unsure of how he'd respond.

It suddenly felt more dire that he could find a way to make that work too, as easily as he could the friend part.

God, you were nervous.

"Then I'd say can you at least let me finish my pizza before you jump me? Geez," he joked, presumably not taking you seriously.

So you tried again.

"I mean after," you responded with a much more serious look, "when this horrible movie you put on thinking I wouldn't notice is over and the leftover pizza is cold and he still isn't here. What will you be then?"

He leaned forward to discard his crust back in the box and brush off his hands before he drew in a long breath, fuel for the thought he was trying to carefully voice.

"After," he began slowly, "when the movie is over and the leftover pizza goes cold…and Josh still isn't here…" He paused to look at you, something cryptic written in his features that you wished you could shake out of him. You needed his thoughts and his honesty to help you mitigate yours. You felt far too alone in your desires at the moment, the one person who never seemed to hold back finally doing just that. "I'll walk you to your room and I'll tuck you in. And if you ask me to stay, I'll stay. Because I'm your friend."

You gave him an understanding nod and a quiet, "Okay," before turning back to the pizza.

—

You couldn't even say what the movie was about. It was a documentary that had started about aliens but somehow had drifted well into pirate territory in a confusing arc that you clearly hadn't followed. To be fair, you were watching without seeing, hearing without listening, enraptured in a swirl of self-destructive thoughts that actually weren't so self-destructive but more left a path of destruction in their wake. And just as predicted, hands stopped reaching for slices of pizza and cheese stopped boiling over the edges as the air took it to its chilly grave. The movie somehow came to a meaningful conclusion that only really meant something to you because credits rolled across the screen. And Josh still wasn't there.

"You look tired," Jake commented after a moment of sitting in darkness next to you, the only light being the tiny white names scrolling across the screen.

God, how many people could it have possibly taken to make that?

"I could sleep," you lied. Well, maybe you could sleep but that wasn't what you intended to do.

Nonetheless, he nodded and stood silently, taking the pizza box to the kitchen and returning to take your hand and lead you from the couch to your bedroom, implication suddenly heavy in the air as he led.

He said nothing as he stood in the doorway letting you walk past him into the room, nothing as you approached your bed before turning back to face him, nothing as you waited for a move he clearly wasn't going to make on his own.

"I think about it too, you know. The first time…" You trailed off without further explanation, your hands suddenly fiddling with the hem of your oversized shirt as you hoped it incited some action on his part.

Jake was silent for a beat before understanding washed over his face and he nodded quickly.

"I’m flattered," was all he said with a soft, almost shy smile as he finally crossed the room to your bed to pull down the comforter, turning expectantly, waiting for you to get in.

He wasn't typically one to be humble but there was something endearing about the rosy hue growing brighter on his cheeks. It almost reminded you of Josh to be honest. And you weren't sure if that made it worse given how much you wanted him.

Without any warning, instead of climbing into bed as he'd expected you to do, you closed the space between you and pressed your lips to his jaw, reveling in the sound of a sudden hushed inhale as he instinctively leaned into the feeling. But his words, hushed and quiet as he spoke them as if he were hoping you wouldn't hear, betrayed the struggle in his mind that was much less willing than his body.

"I think this is a bad idea…" he trailed off quietly as he tilted his chin ever so slightly to let your lips continue their attack along his jaw. And when he heard no response from you, you felt his Adam's apple bob with a gulp as he mustered up the strength to speak again. "I know that you're upset-"

"You said he wasn't worried," you interjected quickly as your mouth moved to his neck where you felt goosebumps prickling against your lips and tongue. You continued your movements as your hands weaved their way into his linen shirt, only to be met by his hands grasping your biceps as if he were going to stop you but the fight had evaded him before he could.

"I know what I said-"

"I just want to feel you," you said finally, pulling your face away to look him in the eyes and put your desperation on display for him.

He was better than being alone. Far better. And fuck, you wanted him.

He seemed to give in almost immediately as his lips found yours more earnestly, losing himself finally in the way you tasted. It felt like a relief to have his hands on you, any hands really as the nights you'd spent alone had grown longer.

"This is the last time," he murmured against your lips as his hands traveled up under your baggy t-shirt to explore the smooth skin that lay beneath.

You agreed with a half-hearted hum on your lips as your own hands traversed over the thin material of his shirt, slipping downward in search of the belt he always wore. You worked quickly to pull it off, setting your hands to work on the button and zipper as it clamored to the floor.

"I mean it," he mumbled again, never really pulling his mouth from yours entirely.

His hands were warm on your skin and did their best to distract from what he was saying, words you'd process later when your mind was no longer numb and flooded with him alone. If there was a line you were crossing, you'd see it in the morning when you woke, drawn perfectly on the floor and smudged only where you and Jake had danced across it.

"Yes, sir," you whispered that time, pulling back ever so slightly to bat your lashes up at him, only to be greeted with an eye roll in return. But a smile adorned his lips nonetheless.

"Gonna get me in trouble," he whispered back as he shook his head, the rosiness of his cheeks growing hotter and redder thanks to your mouth and hands on him, now prying his shirt from his body to send it floating to the floor.

He pushed into you again, squishing any space between you so you sent your arms circling his shoulders instead. He held you closely too, hands pulling you in at your waist impossibly closer even while he walked you backward toward the edge of your bed. You felt magnetized to him, utterly incapable of prying yourself from him even as the thought of Josh's impending arrival swirled somewhere in the back of your mind.

Jake started with the hem of your leggings, tucking his fingers in and doing his best to work them down your legs without his mouth so much as leaving yours. And when the material moved beyond his reach, he helped you shimmy them down the rest of the way and step out of them. And the moment your legs were freed, he spun the two of you so he could take a seat on the edge of your bed and pulled you into his lap.

Pulling his face away from yours finally and letting his hands drop to his jeans to finish the work you had started, he spoke again in a much more serious voice, gravelly and grave.

"You're going to ride me. Take exactly what you want from me."

It was a little glimpse of the Jake he had been the first time he had filled in for date night. And it was exactly what you hadn't realized you were missing.

"Can you do that for me?" he asked as he freed himself and coaxed you into a hover over him with one hand at your hip while the other pulled your panties to the side.

You were speechless, his eyes boring into yours and his hands guiding you even without your answer until the head of his cock brushed your entrance. Your eyes watered with anticipation, every muscle in your body tense as you waited to feel him push inside. And not a single word formed on your tongue or a single thought in your mind.

"Yeah, I think you can," he answered for you with a smirk on his lips and his hand wrapped around himself, already guiding it into you. "And I'm gonna talk you through it."

With his arm snaked around your waist, he brought you down onto his cock in one swift motion, earning a sharp gasp from you as he filled you, a sudden stretch that felt somehow more delicious than it had the first time. Maybe because you knew what you had been missing out on this time around.

"Fuck, I missed you," you breathed, your eyes falling shut for a moment while your thighs warmed against his and the familiar sting of the stretch began to turn to pleasure.

His hands moved to your hips, finding the skin just under the material of the oversized shirt you still wore and digging into the skin there, not so hard so as to leave bruises but hard enough to keep you steady as you leaned forward to drop your forehead against his shoulder, suddenly overtaken by feelings you didn't quite understand.

He felt the shift, something akin to desperate to have him turned desperate to keep him. He felt it in your hot breath against his neck, felt it in the heat radiating from every point on your body, felt it in the unsteady beat of breaths you were taking, almost overtaken by the fierce pounding of your heart as desire and hurt and guilt all fought to take hold of your body. But he didn't retreat from what he felt, only held you that much tighter.

"Are you still with me?" he asked softly, just above a whisper against the shell of your ear, a brief pause from the man he seemed to become when in your bedroom.

You were with him. Maybe a little too with him, you realized. Josh had sent his brother to the rescue so many times, you were beginning to want to be rescued.

"I'm with you," was all you answered back, saving him from your inner turmoil in hopes he'd let you keep going through it.

He seemed keen to let you, too. Or maybe keen to let himself was more accurate. Regardless, wherever your mind had begun to drift, you were suddenly snapped back into place within his arms as he breathed out a rather unfair, "Good girl," and pulled your hips forward once, sliding you easily along his cock thanks to the slick that had been building since the moment you had seen him standing there at your front door. Shamelessly.

"Shit, Jake," you hissed as searing hot pleasure seeped into your body the longer you warmed around him. It incited you to move your hips, slowly at first, searching for that delicious push and pull and stretch of him inside you that felt like a too-distant memory.

He dipped one arm around your waist as his other curled up over your back to bury his hand in your hair, keeping your forehead pressed into his skin as he mumbled words of encouragement. Not that you needed encouraging. His cock, thick and hot inside of you was certainly encouragement enough.

"Ride it, just like that," he murmured as your hips worked up into a steady rhythm. "Just like that, that's it."

You clung to him as you did, clung to the feeling of being full, of his arms holding you. And it only spurred you on, your movements quickening their pace as you moved around him and the sound of skin on skin and both of your heavy breathing began to fill the room. Gentle curses whispered in nothing but a breath betrayed his always cool and casual demeanor and only seemed to fuel the feeling growing hot in your abdomen.

You slid easily along his cock, up and down, taking him fully each time before retreating. His arms helped you move too, encouraging your pace and squeezing you hard like you were grounding him even though you were certain it was the other way around.

"You're so fucking perfect like this," he whispered against your hair, the words punctuated by a noise you'd never quite heard him make, a shameless moan that you suddenly felt desperate to hear again. But having let the sound slip, he seemed to regain his control as he used his grip in your hair to pull your face back to meet his eyes. They were glassy, almost glazed over with euphoria, his lips parted as he struggled and failed to breath evenly, a thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead and matting his hair to it. He was breathtaking, as usual.

"Jesus fuck, Jake," you breathed, your voice hitching in your throat as the words turned into a pathetic noise.

"Yeah? Tell me all about it," he asked in a breathy, hushed voice like it was a secret meant only for the two of you. "Did you miss me, beautiful? Does that feel as good as you remember?"

Better.

You gave him a desperate nod, answering all and none of his questions at once, your brows furrowed and bottom lip sucked between your teeth and the tension building within you clearly visible on your face.

He nodded back with a whisper of a smirk on his lips, breathless as he was himself. "Yeah, poor thing missed my cock, didn’t she? Tell me how good I feel," he urged.

"Fuck, Jake, you feel so good," you practically chanted, stealing a moment to gaze down at where the two of you connected while something about blurred lines fizzled out of view in the back of your mind. "So fucking good."

Like you belong here with me.

A groan ripped its way through his chest as his hips began lifting slightly to meet each of your downward motions, driving his cock into your sensitive spot with each thrust and only making you want to ride him that much harder despite the burn creeping up into your knees.

"You take it so well for me, such a fucking good girl," he praised you through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. "Bouncing on it like you were fucking made for it, that's my pretty girl."

You reveled in his words and the way they heightened the pleasure of his cock pressing against that sweet spot inside of you on each inward thrust, pushing you closer and closer to your own orgasm.

He could see the impending release in your eyes, too, given the way he suddenly gripped you harder and brought his mouth close to your ear to whisper to you his words of encouragement, using one hand splayed flat against the bed to hold you both up. "I know you want to come. Let it go for me, I'll talk you through it just like I promised. I've got you, baby."

Fuck.

"God, Jake," you moaned against his throat, fighting through the strain of your muscles to ride him harder, to take him deeper and faster, wet noises now echoing obscenely through the room.

"Yeah, just like that, let it go," he urged in what was something like half-coherent words, half-moan. "I want you to come all over my cock. Make a mess of me like you're so good at doing." And then a light, "Fuck," after meant only for you.

You were close but it threatened to tumble back downward without reaching its peak, a mental block that you felt you were suddenly fighting, desperately trying to push through before you lost it altogether. But Jake's voice suddenly came softer, finding you in your struggle and bringing you back up to the surface.

"Just relax, let it happen," he coaxed as he took your jaw in his hand to direct your eyes to his, warm and inviting and safe. "I've got you, I'm with you. Just let me feel you."

Fuck.

With his words, you were done for. You felt it ripple through you lightly at first, quickly growing more intense as you pushed your body through it, spurred on by his continued movements matching yours. Your eyes struggled to stay open as it washed through you but watching you and, in turn, you watching him, seemed to push his own orgasm along. His own face began to show the control that was quickly evading him.

Suddenly he was flipping you onto your back, your bodies still connected, and driving into you as his name spilled from your mouth over and over again. Hiking your leg up over his shoulder, he pushed himself over the edge and you along with him for a second time, his hand still wrapped beneath your jaw but his forehead now falling against your sternum as he basked in it and fucked you both through it.

You each came down slowly, neither of you moving from your place where your arms still held one another. If reality was that he had to leave your arms, you didn't want to face it. But finally, with a sigh, Jake withdrew and pulled his exhausted self from your grasp to grab a towel and clean you up, cleaning himself up shortly after.

You maneuvered into the warm embrace of your comforter to watch him move about the room, collecting his shirt and belt and redressing silently before he crossed back over to you. But this time, he didn't join you under the covers. Instead he stood beside you and let his hand cradle your cheek for a moment, looking like he was memorizing your fucked out look. Or just all the little details he had missed.

"You should get some sleep," he said quietly, looking almost forlorn.

"I don't want you to go," you argued immediately, knowing his next steps would either carry him out the door or bring him to your side.

But he only shook his head, much to your disappointment.

"You said you would stay if I asked."

Maybe that was mean to throw at him but he had said it and you weren't really in a good place to be abandoned by another of the Kiszka brothers.

He swallowed hard and let his thumb swipe gently along your jaw. He looked…remorseful.

"Josh will be home soon. I think the two of you should talk. And I don't think I should be here when he gets here."

With only a quick kiss pressed to your forehead, he was out the door without another glance your direction before you had more time to protest, quietly padding through the home to collect his things. It wasn't until you heard the front door shut that you felt truly alone in your own home, wondering when Josh would arrive. And you felt tears well up in your chest and begin to spill from your eyes.

[wraithlafitte]

good morning

pairing: dean winchester x reader

CONTENT: smut! MDNI! showering together, slow foreplay, shower sex, unprotected p in v (the real evil), manhandling, overstimulation, aftercare, reader kind of has a strength kink lol

word count: 3.2k (est reading time 12 mins.)

A/N: and so, my foray into being a slut online begins. can be read as a sequel to "nightmares."

You wake slowly, Dean's warmth at your back, his arm curled around you and his hand by your face.

Careful not to disturb him, you reach up with your free hand and rub the sleep from your eyes. You look around the room sleepily. The sun is shining through the thin curtains, casting wavy patterns on Sam's empty bed. You crane your neck to see the clock on the nightstand.

It's 1 p.m. You've slept in big time, but god knows you needed it.

Dean stirs behind you, inhaling deeply. His arm leaves your torso and you hear him run his hand down his face, scratching against his stubble. "What time is it?" he asks hoarsely, hand dropping back down to your waist.

You wriggle around to face him. "One."

His eyebrows shoot up momentarily in surprise. "Sleep okay?" he asks, face softening.

"Yeah," you answer, hoping he doesn't tease you about the fact that the first time you've slept well in months was because he was with you.

Dean sits up and leans on his elbow, looking over you to where Sam should have been. "Know where he went?" he asks, jutting his chin in the direction of Sam's stuff.

"He was gone when I woke up." You sit up and reach for your phone, checking for a message from Sam. Dean does the same. Your eyes meet expectantly, and finding no confirmation in the other's, you both toss your phones down on the bed.

"Probably went to lunch," you offer. "Anyway, I need to take a shower." You toss aside the covers, swinging your feet down to the orange shag carpet.

"Without me?" Dean teases, flirty as usual. He's probably joking, but-

"If you don't get up," you say coolly back to him with a smirk.

His eyes glimmer as he realizes you're serious. You turn and saunter into the bathroom, closing the door and undressing, fully expecting him to follow you. Sure enough, moments later, he opens the door, already shirtless, stopping in his tracks when he sees you.

Waiting for him.

Dean sucks in a breath between his teeth, looking you up and down appreciatively. He steps fully into the bathroom, slowly pushing the door shut behind him. Then he advances on you.

He grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him roughly, smashing his lips to yours, gently squeezing the flesh at your hip. His other hand travels up your back, eventually finding purchase in the hair at the nape of your neck.

You respond with equal fervor, gripping onto the back of his shoulders and opening your mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue inside, deepening the kiss. You make a small noise as his tongue invades your mouth, feeling every corner, swirling around your own tongue until you finally have to break away for a breath.

"Fuck," he whispers. You grin mischievously and twirl away from him, stepping into the small, square shower and whipping the curtain closed. You turn the water on, standing just out of its flow, waiting for it to warm up as you listen to him frenziedly ripping the rest of his clothes off.

The curtain rips open and closed again, and suddenly Dean is flipping you around and pushing you against the cold wall of the shower, one hand catching your head so it wouldn't hit the tile, the other circling around your wrist and pressing it up by your head.

You blink, only having a moment to scan his chiseled body before his lips are on yours again, tasting you hungrily. You let out a muffled moan, surprised by his ferocity. It was like he had been waiting for this and wasn't going to waste a single moment of it.

Dean pulls away slightly, looking down at you with dark eyes. Warm water drips down from his hair to your face. He looks so... pornographic.

You giggle, placing your free hand against his chest and holding him back a little. "I really do have to shower," you say, looking up at him with the most innocent eyes you can muster while your head is filled with the most obscene thoughts you've had in a while.

An idea flashes through his eyes, and his mouth slowly turns up in a smirk. "Okay...." Dean reaches behind you to the soap ledge, caging you against the wall with his body as he grabs your shampoo and hands it to you, finally letting you away from the wall.

You empty a quarter sized drop into your hands, turning your back to him and facing the shower head as you lather the shampoo in your hands and begin massaging it into your scalp slowly, trying to be as lascivious as possible.

He sucks in a breath behind you, probably checking out your ass, you think to yourself, smirking. Then you feel his hands on your hair, replacing your hands in working the soap into your hair thoroughly. A shiver runs down your spine at the feeling of his fingernails lightly scratching your scalp as he massages your head. You close your eyes, tilt your head back and sigh, leaning into his hands as they make their way from the top of your head to the base of your skull, thumbs rubbing your neck.

Dean turns you around gently, and you open your eyes to see him smiling as he pushes your head under the water to rinse your hair. He holds your face at an angle where the water won't get in your eyes and leans down to kiss you, softer than before but no less passionate. You smile against his lips. He's a much sweeter lover than you expected, given his tough-guy aura.

You decide to take matters into your own hands and grab the soap bar from the ledge, lathering it vigorously in your hands before putting it down again. Instead of rubbing the soap on yourself, you bring your hands to Dean's chest, laving the foamy suds into his skin. You make eye contact with him and almost gasp at the expression on his face; dark, lustful, and animalistic.

Your fingers skate over his tattoo, down to the hard ridges of his abs, around to his back and up again to his shoulders, finally pulling him down by his neck to kiss him again, which he seems more than happy to do. When he breaks away, he returns the favor, rubbing soap first on your shoulders, then down your arms.

Dean's hands leave you for a moment , seeming to consider the canvas before him. You watch his face as he regards you with lust, fingers gliding through the valley of your breasts, then finally both hands come to rest on your breasts, gently kneading the flesh. You bite your lip to suppress the moan that rises to your throat. It was almost embarrassing how aroused he was making you.

He turns you both around, trading places so that he's under the water, and you shiver from the loss of heat. He kisses you quickly and then spins you around and begins massaging your shoulders erotically with his soapy hands. You get the feeling he's taking his sweet time on purpose, teasing you with your simultaneous desire to get clean and also get fucked.

His hands come around to your front, once again gripping your breasts momentarily. This time they are not his goal. He runs his hands down your front, smoothing down your stomach. A wave of arousal courses through you as you realize where he's going.

One hand stops on your hip, and the other keeps going, down to your mound, threading his fingers through the hair there, middle finger coming to rest firmly against your clit. He closes the distance between you, dipping his head down to kiss and suck at the sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. You finally feel his hard length pressing into your back and gasp at the contact.

You feel Dean smile against your neck. He nips at your shoulder, hand briefly leaving your sex to rinse the soap from his hand, then returning. He dips his finger lower, collecting your arousal and bringing it back up to slowly rub circles around your clit. You finally allow yourself to moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder.

"That's it," he murmurs in your ear, the first words spoken since he first got in with you. The pressure on your clit increases as Dean continues to kiss and suck hickeys into your neck. Sam will definitely see those later and be suspicious, but that's a problem for future you.

"God, Dean," you moan. His index finger joins his middle, once again dipping down to your center to lube his fingers in you. The hand on your hip moves under your breasts to grip you tightly against his chest, and suddenly he starts rubbing your clit harder, faster, using his whole arm. Your knees buckle and you cry out, his arm across your chest the only thing keeping you from collapsing as your pleasure suddenly skyrockets. He chuckles against your neck, clearly proud of himself.

His fingers slide down to your entrance, and you moan again as his middle finger easily slips inside you, curling back and forth roughly. A second finger joins in a moment, and the power ravaging your insides doubles. You can't hold you moans back any more.

"Please," you pant, pushing back against his hard body. "Dean, please, please!"

"Please what?" he groans as you press against his hard cock.

"Please fuck me," you answer breathlessly.

"How about you come for me first?" he counters, fingers leaving your pussy. You whimper at the emptiness, your whine becoming one of pleasure as he doubles down his efforts on your clit. The water quickly washes your arousal from his fingers, making his ministrations turn rough, adding a sweet pain to the pleasure.

Dean huffs with exertion, warm breath fanning your ear. His hand doesn't slow, and you start squirming in his arms, still held firm. His name falls from your lips in a constant string of validations. That familiar knot begins to tighten in you. You tense in his arms as you clench tightly around nothing, his fingers ceaselessly propelling you up and up and up-

"Dean!" you cry out as you cum hard and fast. "Dean, fuckfuckfuck-" His fingers don't slow down, working you through and over your orgasm until you're unsuccessfully struggling against his strong arms to escape the overstimulation, your fingers scrabbling against his wrist, trying to pull him away.

Finally, his fingers slow, gently massaging the remnants of your orgasm away. When he stops, you're like a ragdoll in his arms breathing heavily and whimpering. His other arm comes up to help support you until you can stand again.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you breathe finally. Dean laughs, one hand leaving your waist. You hear the creak of the faucet as he turns the water off. You turn around, protesting.

"But wait-"

He interrupts you, pressing a finger against your lips. "Shhh."

"You didn't-" you try again.

"I'm not fucking you in a shower, Y/N," Dean says, a sinful twinkle in his eye. He pulls aside the shower curtain, helping you out and handing you a towel. You wrap it tightly around your shoulders, huddling into it as Dean goes and peeks out the door.

"We're still alone," he says slyly, eyebrow cocking. You pause mid-squeezing water out of your hair.

You are really about to have sex with Dean. Properly, in a bed. You shiver with excitement, imagining how he could make you feel when he has all his resources available.

He walks back to you and takes the towel from your hands, quickly rubbing his hair with it and dropping it to the ground. He encircles your waist with his arms and says, "Jump."

You do, and Dean scoops you up into his arms. He opens the door and your mind wanders to dirtier places when you realize he's strong enough to carry you with one arm. He carries you out into the room and tosses you on the bed like it's nothing, earning a squeak and a string of giggles from you.

He gives you that rakish half-smile of his and crawls up the bed to hover over you. He drops down to support himself on his elbows and kisses you, and you gasp slightly when you feel his cock hit your clit, causing him to break the kiss and smirk at you.

You gaze up at him and your pussy throbs. You couldn't wait anymore. "Dean," you breathe.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck me already."

He grins even wider. "Yes, ma'am," he says with a tilt of his head. He sits back on his knees between your legs, slipping two fingers inside you.

"So wet for me," he groans.

You gasp as he scissors his fingers until he can add a third, slowly pumping them in and out of you teasingly.

"Dean! A-ah-" you try to scold, but your voice breaks into a moan as he twists his fingers inside you.

"So impatient," he says, smiling wickedly and drawing his fingers out ever-so-slowly. You whine and pout at him.

He grips your thighs, your slick drying against your skin as he pushes your legs up to your chest. One hand reaches down to pump his cock, and you shiver in anticipation, watching as a bead of precum leaks out of his tip. He lets go and leans over you, tapping his cock against your cum-soaked pussy. He strokes himself in your slick, reveling in how wet you are for him.

"Tell me to stop if it hurts," Dean whispers, and finally, finally you feel the head of his cock push into you. Your mouth falls open in satisfaction. He slowly presses into you, his cock stretching your walls just right. You whine at the stinging pleasure.

He sinks impossibly deeper, letting out a deep groan as you suck him into your warmth. At last, he bottoms out and leans down to capture your open mouth in a kiss, licking into your mouth as your arms wrap around his neck and your legs around his back.

"Fuuuuck," you say, breaking away from the kiss and looking deeply into his eyes. "Move."

Dean grins and slowly draws out of you before slamming back in. You moan encouragingly, spurring him on to pull almost completely out and slam back in several more times, settling into a brutal pace immediately, making your legs fall and your hands fly into the sheets to grip them tightly.

There's the roughness you were expecting. You gasp euphorically, reveling in the way his fingers bruise into your hips and his cock abuses your cunt.

Dean's cock pistons in and out of you. Each time he touches down it sends a shock of pleasure through your core, his thrusts hitting your clit. You throw your head back against the pillow, hands leaving the sheets to grab his shoulders, your fingernails digging half-moons into his skin and making him groan.

He throws your leg over his shoulder, and shoves a pillow under your hips, reaching a spot deep inside you that you didn't believe existed until now. Your back arches, your other leg trying to push you impossibly closer to him.

"Fuck, baby," Dean moans, dropping down to press his forehead to yours, breathing heavily as he fucks into you. "Feel so good."

You moan your agreement, hand sliding up his neck to pull his lips to yours. His thrusts slow as he gets distracted by your kiss, savoring your lips and the way you gasp into his mouth. You whimper and buck your hips against his, urging him on.

He thrusts into you with renewed vigor, and you start to feel your core tighten again. His tip hits your g-spot over and over, driving you towards your second orgasm.

"God- Dean- I'm gonna-" you gasp, speech failing you as your eyes roll back into your head, lost in the way he makes you feel.

"Come on, baby," he chants, panting at the way you clench around him. One of his hands finds its way to your clit, aiding his cock in pushing you over the edge. "Come on, come on. Come for me."

You whine at Dean's encouragement.

"Wanna feel you come all over my cock," he grunts desperately, burying his face in your neck. "M'close."

Your orgasm finally crashes over you, your pussy gripping him tightly and making it hard for him to pull out as far as he was before. You scream his name, toes curling and fingernails scraping down his back. Your second orgasm lasts longer than your first, almost making you forget to breathe as your vision goes black from your eyes rolling so far back.

Dean yanks one of your hands down from his back, tangling his fingers with yours and pressing your hand into the mattress. "Fuck- god that feels good!"

He raises his head from your neck, finding your eyes frantically. "I'm gonna come, baby, where do you want it?" he pants, thrusts stuttering, his grip on your hand like a vice.

"Stomach," you choke out, riding your high on his cock. He gives three more powerful thrusts, then pulls out, leaving you painfully empty. He pumps his cock over you once, twice, and then he's cumming all over you, practically growling as spurts of his spend land on your breasts, your stomach, and pool in the valley there.

Dean hovers over you for a moment, admiring the way you look covered in him. The look he gives you is one of pure lust as he dips down to kiss you from above one last time.

Collapsing beside you, he groans deeply. "Fuck." He turns his head to look at you and smiles naughtily. "You look so good, all fucked out for me."

His words induce a moan in you, still breathing heavily from your orgasm. Dean snickers and rolls off the bed, padding into the bathroom. You hear the water running and then he's back, cleaning you up gently with a warm cloth. You whine sensitively as he wipes down your slit, collecting bodily fluids from the both of you.

You watch and hum contentedly as he leans down to your stomach, leaving kisses behind the trail of the cloth. When he goes to rinse the cloth and comes back, you still haven't moved.

"Rocked your world that hard, huh?" he teases, perching on the edge of the bed, boxers replaced.

"Uh-huh," you breathe, eyes affixed to the ceiling, dazed.

Dean laughs. "Did I fuck the words right out of you?"

You blush furiously.

"Come on, baby," he says, lifting you upright. You're like putty in his arms, overexaggerating how weak he's made you so that he'll hold you up. "You gotta drink some water and use the toilet."

"Don't want a UTI," you agree, almost slurring your words. He pulls you against his shoulder and strokes your hair. He grabs his water bottle from the nightstand, unscrews the lid and holds it to your lips.

"Ten sips," Dean instructs. You sip obediently, melting at the way he's taking care of you, petting your hair and making sure you're hydrated.

"Tell me when you can stand."

dividers by @cafekitsune

[inneedofsupervision]

Hey Mister Villain

Finally, I can present you the long-awaited Sequel to No Spilling Secrets. I recommend reading No Spilling Secrets first, as that is relevant for understanding the context of this story.

Summary: After getting out of the claws of Clint, Bucky, and Sam, Peter can finally take a rest. Or can he? A single glance at Mr. Stark is enough to let the teen know his mentor waits for an explanation, and it better be a good one. He really should have thought about how to get out of this one, didn't he?

Read on Ao3

"Care to explain why you hacked Friday, Peter."

Oh fuck.

"Not the words I would use, but that sums it up well enough."

The words had tumbled out before Peter could stop himself. At least May and Steve weren't here to catch that slip-up. Mr. Stark merely raises an eyebrow, leveling the teen with a glance. The man is still waiting for an explanation that Peter is more than dreading to give to his mentor. Heck, Peter endured the dishing out of the bird bros and Bucky. He couldn't fold now just because Mr. Stark came off as a little intimidating. Speaking of Mr. Stark, said man stands stern-faced in front of him, arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at Peter in a voiceless dare to keep silent. 

Okay, cross that. Mr. Stark is more than a little intimidating. 

But still, Peter has come too far to spill. His mentor wouldn't let him live that down, not after creating a whole archive of Peter's embarrassing moments. It is pouring fuel straight into the fire.

Mr. Stark steps closer.

With one hand casually placed in the pocket of his three-piece suit while the other pulls down his glasses, the man glances over the rim. Peter gulps. He has to lean his head back to meet his eyes. Mr. Stark studies him for a moment, and Peter wonders what exactly the man is searching for when the sound of the man sniffing catches his attention.

Mr. Stark straightens, pushing his glasses back up.

"These three didn't manage to, but I know how to make you talk, Parker. Don't let it come to that." Peter lets out a huff in protest when his mentor suddenly pushes him, causing him to lie flat on the bench. The teen stares up at the older man in surprise before Peter's face contorts into a grimace as he finally registers Mr. Stark's words.

"You saw all of that?" Peter asks, hoping Mr. Stark would break out into that smug trademark grin, laughing as he pats him on the shoulder and tells him he was only messing with him. Mr. Stark, of course, didn't give Peter that. Instead, he is met with a slight tilt of the head as Mr. Stark gives him an unimpressed look. 

"This is my tower kid. What did you expect?"

The vigilante lets his shoulder sag in defeat. Of course, Mr. Stark watched the whole spectacle. Where is that hole in the ground to bury yourself? It's never there when you need it.

A finger flicks against his forehead.

"Don't go all kicked-puppy on me, kid. You wouldn't be in this predicament if you hadn't cracked the tower's system and left a security breach as wide as the Brooklyn Bridge. You bought this on yourself."

"Maybe that wouldn't happen if there was a better security system," mutters the teen under his breath. 

"Excuse me, what was that?" Peter's mouth shut instantly at the look Mr. Stark was giving him. How many times did he manage to piss his mentor off today? According to Mr. Starks expression, it was at least one time too many. Sensing that this wasn't going in a favorable direction, Peter made a drastic decision. 

He needs to escape. 

Now.

The man standing in front of the bench raises an eyebrow as the teen suddenly angles his legs up, bringing them close to his chest and bending his back, body forming an alarmingly accurate globular form. Without his trademark suit, the kid always seemed so inconspicuous it was easy to forget his powers and traits, counting in that inhuman flexibility. The kid tilts sideways, beginning to roll down the bench with an easiness that left the man wondering if Peter had done this before, the thought of that being a possibility alone giving him a mild headache.

"What- kid, you are not some overgrown roly-poly. What are you doing?"

Skillfully ignoring the bewildered tone of his mentor, Peter tenses his muscles while bracing for the fall, tilting his arms to avoid landing on his still-bound wrists. Mr. Stark takes off his sunglasses to pinch the bridge of his nose, tired of Peter's antics, before pocketing them in his breast pocket.

"Kid, you're not getting away without talking about this."

The older man rolls his eyes as Peter ignores him, the latter robbing his way forward on the floor, apparently on a mission to put the two super-soldiers in their team to shame. But it still wasn't quick enough. Peter wriggles forward as if his life depended on it, blatantly ignoring the pair of shoes moving at the same pace next to his head as Mr. Stark walks reversely next to him, hands folded behind his back as he looks down at the teen with mild amusement.

"Having fun, kid? How's the air down there?"

The engineer shakes his head when he doesn't get an answer, not even a sarcastic or snappy remark from his mentee. The latter keeps wriggling with a determined look towards the door still ten meters away. "And Rhodey calls me stubborn. Peter, kid, come on. Stop being silly." 

"Upfh!"

A tiny yelp escaped Peter's lips when he fell forward, courtesy of the polished dress shoe that pulled on the leg he had put on the ground in an attempt to stand up, only to fall flat on his stomach. 

"Come one, Peter. This starts to get boring, doesn't it."

The teen doesn't need to see the man know that Mr. Stark is most likely rolling his eyes at him as he continues ignoring him, only to further shuffle forward on the floor. 

"Friday, be a dear and give me and Mr. Parker some privacy."

Peter couldn't decide what let his heart beat faster, Mr. Starks words or the faint click of the door locking shut. 

"Mr. Stark!"

The boy's eyes widen as the dress shoe from before pushes under his stomach. He gets flipped onto his back, gazing up at Mr. Stark standing above him with a raised eyebrow and a corner of his lip turned up in unsuppressed smugness. 

Peter sucks in a breath at the sight.

"Mr. Stark, you look like a supervillain right now."

The man's lips qurik up as he strokes his clean-cut goaty. 

"If it takes a supervillain to end this nonsense, I might as well adapt to that role."

"Mr. Stark, no!"

It doesn't take a lot for the man to kneel and grab the squirming boy's wrists, pinning them over his head with one hand.

"Are you ready to talk, Spiderman?"

Peter feels the adrenaline kicking in as his lips twitch upwards in anticipation, his eyes focused more on Mr. Starks free hand than the man's face. Mr. Stark notices the glance at his hand. 

"You see this, webslinger?" asks Mr. Stark with a cold-toned voice that Peter hasn't heard the man using with anyone other than the press on a few occasions when reporters ask some too-invasive questions. He had even pulled the purple-tinted glasses back out and put them on, jumping at the chance to act like an actual villain, and Peter could only stare up at the man, feeling flabbergasted. 

Sure, Mr. Stark could act playful. 

But those mods were usually portrayed through a headlock with an easy way out, hair ruffling, and tons of jokes and banter. Occasionally, Mr. Stark tickles him during movie nights when Peter gets a little too sassy for the man's liking, ending with the teen nearly rolling down the couch giggling. Those moments usually last only a few seconds before Peter crawls back on the couch with Mr. Starks arm thrown over his shoulder, leaning against the man's side. Therefore, it was hardly surprising that Peter was a tad perplexed at the threat of getting tickled by his mentor. The latter seemed overly confident in getting Peter to talk, which results in the teen being curious and absolutely terrified at once. At least Mr. Stark didn't have super hearing, or he might have known just how effectively nervous his words alone were making Peter, going by how his heart was racing behind his ribcage. 

Unaware of the conflicting emotions Tony has caused to tumble around his mentee's head, he continues playing his villain act with a worryingly amount of perfection. The man holds his free hand up for the teen to see, moving his fingers down one after another in a quick motion like some cheap magician before pulling a bunny out of his top hat.

"This is the only tool needed to get you chirping, Spidey," continues the man, looking at his hand as if it were some weapon he had built and was particularly proud of. It leaves Peter gulping heavily.

"You might ask yourself why this," Mr. Stark waves with his hand, "is the way to break you. Well, let me elaborate, my wall-crawling little friend."

Peter opens his mouth to interrupt the cliche of the villain explaining his evil master plan in front of the bound hero. He gets silenced by a raised eyebrow and quickly clamps his lips shut, letting Mr. Stark have his moment.

"I happen to stumble over some interesting information about you, Spiderling. Some would even say it is a bit of a weakness."

Oh gosh, Peter didn't like the way Mr. Stark was grinning down at him at all. The hairs on his neck begin to rise at the sight. Although his subconsciousness was aware of the lack of a threat, Peter's brain couldn't stop the funny feeling of anticipation from accumulating inside him, leaving his muscles tense as he could do nothing but wait for something to happen. It feels like just before his spidey sense kicks in, but without the wave of anxiety rolling over him. At this point, Peter wishes Mr. Stark would get over it, but the thought of asking the man to do something leaves the tips of his ears red in embarrassment. He feels like a child all over again, becoming flustered over something silly, like the prospect of getting tickled.

"From what I gathered, there are parts of your body which, despite your genetic altering, are rather-" Mr. Stark leaves a short pause between the following words as his lip twitches upward into a smug grin, "delicate."

Mr. Starks free hand shots downward. 

Peter presses out a squeaky "noho!" while bringing his legs up to his chest to block the attack, eyes squeezing shut on instinct. 

But nothing happens. 

Peter lingers in that curled-up position, opening his eyes slightly to squint over his knees. The teen meets the highly amused grin of Mr. Stark, who wears the same expression as he does when he gets the affirmation of one of his more advanced calculations being correct, an expression of pure smugness. 

"A bit skittish, are we?"

Before Peter could even think of an answer, Mr. Stark's hand found a way between his pulled-up legs and his middle, fingers digging without hesitance into his stomach. The sudden attack caught Peter off guard, the laughter pouring out instantly.

"Mr. Stahahark! Thahahahat's plahaying dihirty!"

The man tilts his head at his mentees' words, the latter trying to press his knees closer to his middle, but that did little to hinder the man from tweaking his sides, grinning at the little shriek it earns him. 

"Oh, I didn't know this counts as playing to you. Might as well as much as you are enjoying yourself."

"I'm nohoht enjohohyinh anythIHIHng!" 

Mr. Stark rolls his eyes and switches spots, his fingers working quickly on the teen's stretched-out underarms. Peter kicks his legs out at the ticklish jolt when blunt nails softly scratch over the fabric of his shirt that does little to protect his sensitive armpits. His laughter changes into cackling, and he tugs on his bound arms, actually managing to bring them down. 

He only hears the click of a tongue, having shut his eyes when his armpits got attacked. He rolls on his side as soon as the tickling stops, trying to escape the attack, but gets stopped by a hand on his shoulder, effortlessly pulling him onto his back again. Not a second later, two hands are shoved up into his underarms, and begun to explore the spot, meticulously working on searching for weak spots. As soon as he found them, Mr. Stark kneads with his thumbs into the muscles, letting Peter jump with a squeak before bursting into another wave of loud laughter.

"NOHOO PLEAHAHASE! MR. STAHAHAHARK. Nohohot thehehere! I- I canahahan't ahahaha. I cahahahn't staAHAND ihiht, pleahashe nohohho!"

"That's unfortunate, as I don't show mercy to any of my enemies. And you, Spiderman, earned the privilege to stand on the top of my hit list."

He grins down at the teen who has his arms pressed to his side as much as his tied wrists allow it, body wriggling from side to side to avoid his hands, but Tony's fingers are following, never leaving up to pinch and flutter over all the places that bring out the sound of panic-laced giggles. 

"No! No! Nonononono! ACK NOHO MR. STAHAHARK, NOHOHOHO!"

"Hm? What's this? Spiderman has a ticklish belly?"

Peter manages to sends a glare at his mentor. "I doho nohoht! J-just l leahaheve ihit alohohohne. Mr. Stahark, I sweaAHAHR, I- ohmygohohod dohohohnt!"

Peter lets out a high-pitched squeal as a finger dips into his belly button. His laugh goes silent for a few seconds, during which he arches his back as the ticklish feeling overwhelms him before he deflates into a heap of hiccupy giggles, begging Mr. Stark to do anything but please let his belly button alone. The man smirks down at the blushing teen. Tony would lie if he said he did not find Peter's reaction absolutely endearing. 

"Now, that's just adorable. I almost feel bad having to end you."

"Youhuhu ahahre eheh- evil!"

"I beg to differ, Spidey. This -" Tony worms his finger into Peter's navel, wriggling it around teasingly and earning himself a snort followed by feet drumming against the floor behind him as the kid trashes around madly 

"isn't evil. I'll show you what's really evil."

Out of breath and lying on his side, Peter, at first, didn't register what was happening, too busy to get back to pumping air into his lungs. When he finally glances up at what Mr. Stark is doing, the man is already gathering his feet in a headlock and pulling his tie around his ankles. Peter's eyes widened. He was about to yank his legs out of the hold, and he certainly would have managed to, but at that moment, Mr. Stark had already tightened the piece of clothing, successfully binding his legs. After giving it a closer thought, Peter's panic begins to subdue. A tie was no match for his strength. He could easily snap it if he wanted to. 

"Before I forget it, that tie is a Christmas present from Pepper's parents."

Mr. Stark broke out in loud laughter at the sheer look of betrayal Peter sent his way.

"You are a monster, Mr. Stark."

Peter regrets the words as soon as his mentor grins at him before pushing him over, forcing the teen to lay on his stomach and pull his feet facing upward onto his lap.

"Finally, you are aware of the gravity of the situation, Spidey."

While talking, he let a single finger run down the arch of Peter's foot, grinning at the teen's toes curling up and the whole-body jolt the action brought. He repeats the action on Peter's other foot, getting the same reaction, which only encourages the man to let all his fingers, at once, drag over the wiggling soles. The feet in his lap squirm just as the rest of the teen trashes on the floor like an angry caterpillar, laughing his head off, occasionally shrieking when Tony pulls his toes back to scribble under them. 

"NO! Nohohot the toes! Pleahase, anythihing buhut thahat."

Mr. Stark let up, giving the teen a short break.

"Not the toes, you say? Do you mean these toes? These ticklish little toes right here?" He takes one of them between his fingers, shaking them a little while speaking, but that is apparently enough to throw Peter into a giggle fit and try kicking him. 

"Well, then I have to let these toes be. And tickle these instead."

True to his word, Mr. Stark left Peter's right foot in peace, only to jump onto the left one, resuming his relentless attack.

"ACK! I sahahaid NOT the toehes!"

"And since when do I listen to what my enemy tells me? Huh, Spidey, since when do we do that?" he teases the kid, letting up from his feet to pinch above his kneecaps. Peter shrieks and kicks his legs out as he laughs loudly, managing to roll onto his back. He quickly sets his legs up to press his soles against the gym floor, preventing Tony from getting a hold of them.

"You're trying to be smart about this? Well, what do you do about this then?"

Without pausing, Mr. Stark takes hold of the teen's wrist and softly but firmly presses them against the teen's chest to get them out of the way before pulling his shirt up, revealing his tummy. 

Peter's eyes widen. He couldn't move much with his feet sticking to prevent whatever Mr. Stark was planning. He had an idea, but surely Mr. Stark wouldn't do something as childish as that.

Right?

Peter screams before hysterical giggles take over after the first raspberry is placed on his stomach.

"Nahaha, stahahahap. Nohot fahair, ihihihi thihihs isn't fahahahahair Mr. Stark!"

"Anything is fair in a fight with your enemy. Even this."

Mr. Stark places another long-lasting raspberry, making sure to shake his face into Peter's stomach as that elicits just the most adorable squeal he had ever witnessed from the teen.

"Now, what do you say, Spidey? Are you ready to fess up?"

Mr. Stark takes in the sight of his red-faced mentee with something akin to fondness. Peter's hair is messy from shaking his head from side to side, his chest heaving from laughing, and a wide grin spreads over his features. The teen surprises him as he squints at him from a position on the ground, a determined look on his face.

"Is that all you've got?"

Mr. Stark raises an eyebrow.

"Well, you brought this on yourself."

His head rushes down again, sending the teen into another ticklish frenzy. By the end of it, tears of mirth are gathering in the corner of Peter's eyes, which were Tony's clue to give up. Apparently, Peter didn't think his mentor would give up just yet, as he couldn't believe it when his hands and feet were free to move again.

"You're letting this go?" Peter stares wide-eyed at his free hands before directing his puzzled look at Mr. Stark, who flattens the wrinkles in his suit. 

"As you are so determined to not let a word lose about it, I will let it slide." He sighs at the bewildered expression Peter sends him.

"I trust you, Peter. Whatever you have done must have been important, and I trust you would tell me if it wasn't, alright?"

Oh wow, now Peter feels like an idiot. 

"Ehm, Mr Stark?"

The man in question glances at the teen, the latter rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes cast on the ground. Peter pulls his legs to his chest, biting on his lips as he wraps his arms around his knees, wanting nothing more than to be swallowed by the ground. He made such a big deal out of nothing, and now he has to admit to that and no other than Mr. Stark too. 

His fingers tighten into the fabric of his pants before he finally finds the courage to confess to the man.

"I did it because I was embarrassed."

The words came out mumbled as Peter pressed his face into his knees.

"I didn't quite catch that, Peter."

Using his name and not some nickname meant Mr. Stark had caught onto the mood. The man slowly steps closer, making only a bit of a show of sitting beside Peter and muttering about his joints.

Peter licks his lips, glancing at Mr. Stark before directing his eyes onto a stain on his jeans before repeating himself.

"I was embarrassed. Do you remember that folder, emh, the- the one where you let Friday save all that dumb stuff that I did? In the lab? Well, I know you like to tease me about that, and I usually don't mind, and I don't want to come off as whiny. I know everyone teases everyone on the team, and that's cool, yeah. But, you know, sometimes, I-" Peter stops to take a deep breath. Mr. Stark keeps sitting next to him, listening in silence, and while Peter is thankful for it, he still can't look at the man.

"Sometimes I get this fear that you'll show that stuff to the others, and they'll make fun of me. I know that shouldn't bother me. I'm not a little kid or anything. But this stuff that happens in the lab, I don't mind you seeing me do dumb stuff because, well, that's you Mr. Stark, and I trust you, like sure you'll think I'm silly, but when it's you, I kinda don't mind that? But if the others know I blow up the lap three times a week, that makes me kinda uncomfortable because everyone always calls you, Dr. Banner, and me the smart ones, but what will they think of me when they see all the messes I produce daily? I'm supposed to be smart and not blow stuff up and- and stumble over stuff when I'm literally Spiderman and yeah, I guess I'm insecure about that. I'm really sorry I hacked into Friday to prevent more footage from being taken, Mr. Stark. That was dumb, and I should have known that it was a bad idea, really."

Peter lifts his head, finally meeting Mr. Starks eyes, who had been patiently waiting for him, witnessing him stumble over his words. 

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Stark." Peter's voice grew quiet, close to a whisper. 

He watches Mr. Stark running a hand over his face, a sigh escaping the man, and it causes Peter to tighten to hold on to his knees. He is taken by surprise at the weight of an arm thrown over his shoulder before he gets pressed into a warm body, melting into Mr. Starks side as the older man pulls him closer.

"Peter, I want to apologize for making you feel that way."

Peter opens his mouth to protest but gets cut off by a hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Uh uh, broadcast break for the Spiderling." The teen huffs in light amusement, and Tony takes it as his sign to go on. 

"I want to apologize for taking it as far as it causes you to feel like you had to do something on your own rather than talk to me about it. I would have never shown it to anyone, but I should have considered that it could make you uncomfortable. I'll delete everything and stop Friday from saving further videos, alright?"

"You would do that for me, Mr. Stark?"

"Of course. I might be an asshole most of the time,"

"Language."

Tony raises an eyebrow at the rude interjection. His hand slips down to poke the teen in the side as a warning, which earns him a giggle.

"but I want you to feel comfortable and know you can trust me. That you can trust anybody on the team, okay?"

Peter nods with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Hey, Mr. Stark?"

"Yes?"

Peter grins up at the man.

"I'm really glad you're not a villain."

Mr. Stark squints at him before a sly smirk appears on his face.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Peter. We still haven't talked about the consequences of you creating a giant security breach."

Before Peter could crawl away, Mr. Stark had already slung an arm around the teen's middle, and for a third time that day, Peter's laughter echoed throughout the gym, this time a little brighter than before.

[lafaiette]

going from the detailed keep to just three decisions is such a drastic change, not to mention it says nothing about dao or da2? are those games just gonna have one default worldstate? i wonder how's that gonna work with varric literally being in the game is he just never gonna mention hawke?

Yes, I admit it bothers me, too - I hope it really was an early build used to avoid spoilers, and that more options will be available in the full game, but I doubt we will see choices from DA:O and DA2.

Iirc Epler said the focus will be on northern Thedas, and consequently choices from the two earlier games won't be addressed. I can understand this tbh - after all, I doubt Tevinter, Rivain, or the Veil Jumpers in Arlathan would discuss or even care about the ruler of far, rustic Ferelden.

Divine Victoria can simply be mentioned with her title, and since mages and magic are seen in a different way in northern Thedas compared to the south, it makes sense for them not to mention the fate of the Circles in Ferelden and Orlais. And considering there are two crazy elven "gods" wreaking havoc and corrupting the land, I doubt Rook, Antaam-occupied Antiva, and Weisshaupt have the time to pay attention to these "distant" things (even though I WAS expecting one of the available choices to be about the Wardens, since the Inquisitor can choose to exile them to Weisshaupt).

Speaking of Varric and Hawke, yeah, I have no idea how that will be addressed. Twelve years have passed since someone was left in the Fade, and it's pretty much confirmed that this person is dead and won't come back at this point, despite all the fans' funny pictures of Hawke coming out of a Fade rift we saw over the years. So, if Hawke was left in the Fade, Varric would have no reason to mention them, since they are long dead and there are much more "important" things to focus on at the moment.

If they're alive... we know that Hawke goes to Weisshaupt after the events of Inquisition, but again, many years have passed since then, so they probably went there to check, saw that things were weirdly quiet, and went back home, their mission concluded. No way they remained in the Anderfels for more than ten years - so even in this case, Varric would have little reason to mention them.

No matter how the devs try to spin this, it can't denied that the events of Veilguard wouldn't exist without Inquisition's. It's basically a direct sequel, even though Bioware is clearly doing their damnest to try and lure in new players unfamiliar with the series, doing everything they can not to scare them off with too many unfamiliar references and characters.

It stands to reason that the events of Inquisition are those that should majorly affect Veilguard's, but it's really odd how simply one (!) choice from the main game and two from its Trespasser DLC are offered.

The biggest concern is the Well of Sorrows - both Morrigan and the Inquisitor are in the game, so how is the game going to address that event? Will it be completely ignored, like a soft-reboot? Will they force Morrigan to be the canon choice no matter our world state?

Or maybe the Inquisitor won't have a very big role (and there's the problem of their personality, too, which wasn't a "fixed" one like Hawke's) or maybe there's something about the Inquisitor's character creator Bioware is hiding/didn't share on purpose to surprise the fans.

[eletricheart]

hi so I really loved your Donna fics 'fever' and 'home is wherever I'm with you' and so I was wondering if I could request like a sequel but a mix of those two.

basically the reader (the daughter figure from your fic) is coming to visit Donna, but she had the flu that day. she spends a few days with Donna, but she's sooo apologetic and guilty for being sick. Every time she coughs, she apologizes, she doesn't sit near Donna so she won't get the Dollmaker sick, even thought she really wants to be near Donna right now, and will not allow herself to sneeze. She thinks she is absolutely disgusting. When she eventually had to sneeze, she almost cries beacuse she's so sorry. Donna constantly assured reader that she is not gross, and Donna doesn't care, heck, Donna *wants* reader to sneeze, and she's allowed to be sick.

thank uuuuu xx

Matilda

(Donna Beneviento x daughter!fem!reader)

*pic creds to owner, got it from pinterest

Word count: 577

Song by Harry Styles : Nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now

I hope u like it😔🫶

ps: fluff

ps2: plss lmk any mistakes

ps3: song at the end

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You hated Flu Season, it’s an entire week where you can’t walk without leaving a trail of tissues. You would usually hide in your bedroom until it was over but you had promised Donna you’d spend a few days with her to craft a new doll.

Hence you taking too much medicine in order to keep control, which didn't work.

Now you’re sitting in Donna’s workshop trying your best to not sneeze, even sitting far from the dollmaker so she wouldn't notice. But she did.

One badly hidden cough and Donna was fretting over you, pulling you upstairs to the living room so you’d have more clean air.

You were watching her in concern as she gave orders to the dolls to prepare some tea and grab blankets. Your voice is slightly muffled by the tissue you were holding in your face to block any sickness from going out. “It’s really not necessary, I can go home and once it ends I’ll come back.”

Donna’s eyes widened while she hurriedly shook her head. The woman tried to sit next to you but you almost fell off the couch trying to stay distant. “I can’t let you leave like this, I know some great recipes for the flu. I can help, okay?”

You tried to answer but a sneeze pulled through while you desperately tried to apologize. “I-I’m sorry, this is gross, I shouldn't have come.” Your eyes quickly filled with tears. “I couldn't help you and now I’m gonna get you sick. I’m so sorry.”

The dollmaker doesn't let you escape this time and pulls you into her arms, holding you tightly while you cry. “It’s okay, honey, it’s okay. It’s not gross, in fact it's completely normal to get sick sometimes. I’m not worried about my work or getting sick too, that is all temporary. I’m worried about you and your wellbeing. You never have to apologize for being human, do you understand?”

You nodded weakly, not separating the embrace. “My parents used to say that being sick meant I was weak, because my body wasn't working right and it would get in the way of their life…I just didn't want to be a burden to you too.”

Donna’s heart broke with your confession, thousands of different curses directed to your parents went through her head. So she kissed the top of your head, picked some blankets the dolls left near her without moving you too much and covered the both of you. “You will never be a burden to me. I love taking care of you…not that I want you to get sick, of course not. I-what I mean is that it’s okay, you’re not weak, this sickness is just the way your body fights off anything harmful, you’re being so strong.”

You pursed your lips, not convinced but not objecting.

The dollmaker noticed and just sighed while silently asking one of the dolls to bring her the tv remote.“Well then, how about we stay like this and watch a movie?”

You looked up to her. “Don’t you have to work? I can stay here alone.”

She shook her head. “You’re more important than anything else, don't ever forget that.”

You nodded with a small smile on your face and turned back towards the tv. The other days were almost the same, Donna rarely left your side and you were grateful for it. For a few days your parents were just a distant memory.

----------------------------------------------------

requests are open: masterlist

[reasonsmandy]

With love, Eddie Roundtree

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by anon — saw you're taking requests for eddie roundtree x reader so i wanted to ask if you could do something inspired by either tear in my heart (twenty one pilots) or lets fall in love for the night (finneas)!! love ur writing btw!!

✧.* you're reading part one, here's the sequel — Dear Eddie Roundtree

✧.* summary — Your life in the acting business has been very stressful, but in one night Eddie makes you forget about it all.

✧.* warnings — Extremely fluffy content, mentions of drinking and drugs.

✧.* word count — 2.2k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I tried to mix a little bit of the two songs, I don't know if I managed to do something very good. but i hope you like it 🫶🏾

"We'll send Harold to your set more often, the gossip magazines will start planting the idea that you two are together." Your manager said excitedly, he insisted on the idea that you should fake a relationship with actor Harold Schmidt. "I can already see the headlines: Y/N L/N and Harold Schmidt the Hollywood lovebirds"

"That would be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read!" You say rolling your eyes with a glass of water in hand.

"Well, I don't care!" Your manager says, getting a little mad. "You know you need these rumors to boost your name, and you're lucky that Harold agreed to fake this relationship with you."

"I don't need anyone to get my name to boost Adam!" You say irritably. "And besides, no one will believe I have something with this guy, we never talked before!"

"Stop making things more complicated Y/N." He says. "You know it's going to be the best for your career, now rest … tomorrow we have recording early"

He leaves you alone in your apartment, you put your face to the pillow and let out a scream in it. Being an actress was amazing, but there were things that frustrated you a lot in the profession like what you were experiencing now, you had never exchanged a word with this Harold guy and now you had to pretend to be madly in love with him for everyone. Just thinking about it sounded crazy.

Despite all this fake dating mess Adam wanted to shove you down into, you couldn't stop thinking about what happened a few days ago. You received an invitation to attend the party of the band Daisy Jones and the six. It was a really fun night where you finally managed to distract yourself a little and it was also the night you met Eddie Roundtree, one of the nicest people you've come in contact with in such a long time.

Let's say you had gotten along quite well…

You weren't really in the mood to leave your apartment, but you felt that if you stayed another two hours listening to your manager talk about absurd things about how you should fake a scandal for your name to go up you would go crazy. So when Daisy Jones' invitation reached you, you thought: Why not?

Which was exactly why you were now in Billy Dunne's backyard, having a beer and smoking a joint. Nothing very interesting seemed to happen around you and there wasn't anyone very interesting to talk to.

Well, at least the music is good... You thought.

As you traveled in your thoughts and watched the unknown people around you, Eddie Roundtree watched you too, he stared at you trying to remember where he knew you from.

"I'm telling you man, she must have stopped by the studio sometime." Warren says to the bassist.

"I'm sure that's not it, otherwise I wouldn't remember her" Eddie says frustrated.

"Eddie, man!" Warren changed his expression, he looked amazed at something. "Rollerball!!! She was in the Rollerball movie!"

"Holy shit, that was it! I knew I knew her somewhere." Eddie beams, overjoyed that he finally remembered. "I didn't remember she was so beautiful, man…"

"Go talk to her!" The drummer says, pushing his friend towards the actress.

You notice the two best friends laughing and pointing in your direction, not understanding you turn to look behind you but no one was there. You arch your eyebrows hoping they'll notice that you saw them, which takes a few minutes to happen.

The blonde approaches you, with a smile on his face and two beers in his hand. He sits down next to you, handing you the drink.

"I have a challenge for you." he says, catching your attention. "Tell me a song you like and if I get a part of the lyrics right, you spend the night talking to me."

"Look, I didn't even need the challenge, I really would have talked to you without a problem" You say laughing. "But since you offered…"

Eddie Roundtree: I was so lucky that Camila showed me this song *chuckled*

Y/N L/N: He had changed 50% of the words in the song but he seemed like a nice guy, so I pretended he got it right.

"Y/N that's my name" you say while taking a sip of beer "You are?"

"I'm Eddie" he smiles, taking a closer look at your face.

You spent a few hours talking about everything, it was impressive how he managed to talk about any subject you proposed. He really seemed to be interested in what you had to say, something you missed. You told him that since you moved to Los Angeles you haven't been to any of the tourist spots in the area, which he found absurd, and that's why you were in Roundtree's car going through the city streets with no final destination.

"I can't believe we're doing this" you laugh at the situation, probably the beers you had had made you a little happy. "I don't even know you well and I'm in your car going to unknown places."

"Ouch!" He pretends to be offended. "I told you my whole life tonight, what do you mean you don't know me?"

"Oh yes, of course I apologize" You laugh looking deep into his eyes, something inside you wanted to be closer to him.

"Wanna get a swim?" he says, parking the car close to the beach, you could hear the waves from afar.

"That's a terrible idea..." You say getting out of the car, alarmed he gets out too. "I'm in!"

You take off your shoes leaving them near the car, running wildly towards the dark sea. Eddie shakes his head in disbelief, taking his shoes off and chasing after you, or at least trying to.

You wait for him where you could just feel the water on your feet, he approaches holding you by the waist and going with you into the sea. Would it be crazy to feel so connected to someone in one night? You didn't know, and you didn't care! When the icy water came into contact with your body and his body heat kept that feeling more intense, nothing else mattered.

Trying to fix the locks of your hair, you looked at him in disbelief with everything you were experiencing that night, it's been so long since you've felt alive like this, free from any pressure.

"I feel like I've known you since forever, Eddie Roundtree." You whisper, kissing the blonde's lips intensely.

He holds you tighter, as if he wants to remember this moment forever, the fear of forgetting what he was experiencing in the morning was intense. After all, with all that they had both smoked and drunk, it was probably that the passion, that love, would fade from their memories during their rest until tomorrow.

The early morning wind hits your bodies making you shiver with cold. You soon decided it was better to get back in the car and go somewhere else. Eddie didn't care that the car would be wet because of your clothes, nothing else mattered to him, that night was so intense and wonderful that he just wanted to stop time to have you there with him a little more.

And logically, after smoking so much, the munchies hit, so nothing more plausible than changing your destination to the nearest bar. It was hard to find anything open at that hour, but after several turns you finally managed to spot one.

There were just the two of you and one other man who was clearly begging for you two to leave as soon as possible, so he could get to sleep.

"I don't think I'll remember anything tomorrow, my head is already exploding" You say, drinking some of the juice you ordered.

"Is that so?" Eddie asks, stroking your hand across the table.

"Uhum" You mumbled, and he could tell that you were getting tired and needed some sleep. "But don't worry, I promise you that if I forget about you tomorrow I at least fell in love with you tonight."

Your words made him feel butterflies in his stomach, he looked at you with affection and without containing the smile that grew on his face. He didn't want to settle for the idea that he wouldn't see you anymore.

"Did you fall in love with me too Eddie Roundtree?" You say sleepily, slurring your words as you struggle to keep your eyes open.

"I for sure did, Y/N L/N." He says, getting up to pay the bill. A few seconds later he comes back. "Can you tell me where you live? I will drop you off at home."

"No please, I want to spend more time with you." You whisper, closing your eyes with long blinks.

"I promise you will see me again" He says, stroking your hair. "Now tell me pretty girl, where can I drop you off?"

You tell the bassist the address of your apartment, so soon after he takes you to the car trying his best to avoid making you feel the wind with wet clothes, afraid you might catch the flu or something.

As the sun slowly rose, you fell asleep in the passenger seat. Roundtree slowed the car down so as not to wake you up with the potholes in the road leading to your house. Admiring you in the moments when he didn't have to keep his eyes on the road, a smile appears on the blonde's face as he observes how much prettier you look with the sunlight on you.

He wakes you up when he arrives at the scene, you mumble something he doesn't understand and you hide your face in his neck, he feels butterflies in his stomach with the contact and already misses you when he finally has to say goodbye.

"So I think that's it…" Eddie said, holding your hands. "Take care, pretty girl".

"You too baby." You place a peck on the blonde's lips, then hug him for a few seconds. "You better not forget me huh."

"How could I?" He smiles, letting go of your hands. "I'll see you."

"I hope so." you say, walking into your apartment and soon falling asleep on the couch.

…

The sun was already setting and you were ready to spend the rest of the night watching anything on television. When Adam shows up opening your door like he has an emergency going on.

"Adam what the fuck!" You exclaim, trying to calm down from the fright, he came in with a box in his hands and a magazine in the other. "What the hell is going on?"

"Y/N L/N you naughty girl, if you were dating you should just have told me!" He says sitting next to you, handing you the magazine. "Now it makes sense why you rejected my fake dating idea"

The magazine had a picture of you in a bar, an orange juice in front of you. You had the straw between your teeth smiling at the man in front of you. Your hair was wet and your clothes looked soaked too, as did the man in front of you in the photo, Eddie. He was looking at you with a smile, his eyes were closed if you looked fast, but as you knew that smile very well you knew that when he smiles his eyes shrink. The headline read: Y/N L/N and Eddie Roundtree the romance of the Stars.

You quickly open to the indicated page to read what it said.

Sub Rosa

AUGUST 9, 1977

Eddie Roundtree and Y/N L/N! they are the definition of a star couple

No, your eyes are not deceiving you! Last night after one of the parties given by rock star Billy Dunne, our Hollywood star Y/N L/N was seen with the bassist of Daisy Jones and the six: Eddie Roundtree, leaving the party.

The charming bassist was rumored to have been with L/N throughout the event and he was even seen with our favorite actress in a bar a few hours after the party. Although this is the first time we've seen these lovebirds in public together, you must agree that they make a great couple.

Would that be the end of Y/N's single life?

You finish reading in disbelief, bursting out with a hearty laugh at the last sentence.

"They basically called me a spinster!" You say when you're done laughing, taking a breath to compose yourself. "Look, me and Eddie we-"

You are interrupted by Adam again, who hands you the box he had in his hands when he entered. Curious you take it, seeing a note on top that you decide to read later, inside the box there was a cassette tape, a rose and a napkin with a phone number.

You are still confused and decide to read the note.

Hey pretty girl, I hope you're doing well.

As I promised you, through these things I decided to earnestly ask you to let me have more wonderful nights by your side.

On the tape you'll find my attempt to sing that song you told me you loved, the rose is for pure chivalry and the phone number, well... I think that's clear.

I hope to hear your voice soon…

With love, Eddie Roundtree.

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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[ohthehypocrisy]

Pokemon: Paradox Paradigms (a Third Person Shooter concept by me)

As a gamer, I'm well versed in a lot of genres. I owe this diversity to my upbringing, having grown up on Nintendo consoles and titles. Yes, I have played PlayStation games, but I've never owned one, and I've never even touched an XBOX controller. As a result, I had lived for a very long time without touching a Shooter game.

You might be thinking to yourself 'Ah, I see. Splatoon was your first shooter then?' and I'll tell you, no, it wasn't. I wanted to get into it, but I never got around to playing the games. I was well off watching my brothers play Splatoon and Splatoon 2 and figured it was a pretty decent experience, but not one I was willing to commit to learning about. Not that I have anything negative to say about Splatoon, it was just a matter of not the right time for me.

So what was my first shooter? Overwatch? I did want to try it out, but it wasn't available on Nintendo consoles when it came out. And also I still don't own a PlayStation console, even now. What about Call of Duty? Nah, too gritty for me. Fortnite? Too time-consuming.

Well, what was it? You might be surprised to learn that my first shooter had a solid hold on my attention span for nearly a year, and it wasn't even a conventional shooter in the literal sense of the word.

It all started on a whim, when I rented out Plants VS Zombies: Battle for Neighborville. I figured 'At worst I'll play it for a few days and then return it' only to get caught playing this game every day for nearly an entire year. The only reason I stopped was because the Daily Missions had glitched out on me and I couldn't get the cosmetic reward. I had tried reporting the bug, but all I got was silence and I had to question my commitment to a game lacking in support. Ultimately I decided it was time to shelf the game and move on to other experiences, but I still find myself feeling nostalgic over my best plays and KO streaks and wishing for a sequel.

Nothing more ever came of it, I haven't played another shooter since. There has yet to be another hero shooter that scratched that itch I got playing Battle for Neighborville. I mean, there is Marvel Rivals coming out soon, but it won't be available on the Switch console. Star Wars Hunters looks promising, but I'm not really a Star Wars guy. Eh, I wasn't really a PVZ guy either before picking up Battle for Neighborville, so maybe I'll check it out sometime soon.

But for now, the only way I know for sure I'll have another experience like PVZ is to pretend to make my own, which brings me to the topic of this post. What if we put the Paradox Pokemon, all past and future ones, into a third person hero based shooter? I made a similar concept before in a post featuring the Future Paradox Pokemon, but I excluded the Past Paradox Pokemon because I thought the concept wouldn't work for them. But now, I don't care all that much about cohesion, I just want to relive the wacky shooter experience of Plants VS Zombies, so of course I'm going to pit Past VS Future here.

Of course the game has to have a plot to justify the infighting. Let's say that the Paradox Pokemon are fighting for control in a land caught in between time, with the AI Professors from Scarlet and Violet leading charge from their command post. A similar story beat plays out in Plants VS Zombies, with Crazy Dave directing the plants and Dr. Zomboss commanding the zombies. They spoke in babbles in their games, though, which won't cut it for this game. They would HAVE to be voice acted, which would be a little strange for a spin-off game, if it weren't for Pokemon Masters already taking that first step for us.

Anyway, the playable pokemon are segregated into separate teams. As in, you either play for the dinosaur team or the cyborg team. It works this way for the Plants VS Zombies shooters, though because this is a pokemon spin-off, you can expect to have an unrestricted mode separate from the Ranked and Casual games.

The Control Scheme

As for the actual gameplay, first we have to look at the button layout and what they do. Here's a Nintendo Pro Controller for reference, since this game would most likely be on the Nintendo Switch, or Switch 2, I suppose.

Let's start with the shoulder buttons, since they simulate the trigger of actual pistols.

ZR - Primary Fire - You press this button to shoot. Do note that the bullet type, shooting speed, and recoil varies across all pokemon.

ZL - Aim - The camera zooms in to where your reticle is pointing to. Your Primary Fire will also change slightly while zoomed in, though it depends on the character. For example, sniper pokemon will shift to a scope view in order to get more accurate shots.

R - Defend - The defensive option your pokemon uses to try and evade damage. This button varies greatly across all pokemon and can be either a manual shield, a dodge, flight, invisibility, or even a counterattack. It should be noted that you cannot attack while holding your defense.

L - Jump - A short jump. A mildly evasive maneuver, but it varies with each pokemon, as per usual. Some can jump high, others not so much but deal damage upon landing. Some can even double jump or slow their descent while falling.

X & Y - Sub 1 & Sub 2 - Two customizable moves which change depending on what TM's you've taught your pokemon. You cannot use two of the same TM's for both slots but also not all TM's can be learned by all Paradox Pokemon. We'll go over the TM's later but it should be noted that, because the face buttons take the thumb away from the Right Control Stick, which is used for controlling the camera, moves set for Sub 1 and 2 will be typically proximity attacks like protective walls or bombs.

B - Melee - The close range attack used for when enemies are in your face. Again, it's different for all pokemon, but because it's a face button, the attack is tricky to aim. Most of them will cover a wide area so aiming won't be a problem, if it can be helped.

A - Paradox Paradigm - The so-called 'ultimate attack' of each playable pokemon. While Sub 1 and 2 are customizable, the Paradox Paradigm is a powerful attack unique to each one. It's also the move with the highest cooldown in your entire kit, so it shouldn't be used carelessly.

Left Control Stick - Movement - As with nearly all games, the left stick is how you'll move your pokemon around. But each playable pokemon is different in their own way, so naturally each one moves slightly different. Some are fast, some are slow, some make big loud stomps that can be heard across the map, while others are quiet like a gentle breeze. Also, if you hold forward for a while, the pokemon will start running. You can trigger running automatically by pressing in the control stick.

Right Control Stick - Camera - It wouldn't be much of a shooter if you couldn't aim, huh? The camera function is exactly the same for all pokemon, though the reticle will be different for each pokemon due to their unique abilities and projectiles. It's also used for the Quick Chat and Emote Wheel. Speaking of which...

Directional Pad - Quick Chat/Emote/Taunt/Pokeball - Communication is key for fighting as a team, so of course there's got to be a feature for getting your message across. Three of the four buttons of the D-Pad brings up a small menu of words, stickers, and animations that you can use to express yourself. They're preset, but you can swap them around in your Settings before each match. The Down Button, however, is called Pokeball and it sends the pokemon back into its pokeball to return to Base or to the Character Select screen. More on that later...

-

Playable Pokemon

So you know how the game will play, but what pokemon will you choose? Let's go over the Playable Paradox Pokemon in order of Dex Number and see what they can do in a shooter.

Great Tusk

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★☆☆☆☆ Range: ★☆☆☆☆ Support: ★★☆☆☆

Not a great first impression for a shooter, but Great Tusk can hold its own in the middle of a firefight. High HP and damage potential service it well when fighting one-on-one, but it lacks the guile to get around and can't hit far away targets feasibly. Still, if it does manage to get up close and personal, those wretched robots will be reduced to rubbish when Great Tusk is through with them.

Primary Fire: Great Tusk takes a moment to tear up the ground and pull up a giant spherical rock. After pulling it out, Great Tusk will hold the rock with its trunk and massive tusks, which acts as a shield from opposing enemy fire. The rock can take a lot of hits, but it's not invulnerable and can be shattered from heavy fire. Before that happens, press the Primary fire again to send the rock rolling like a primitive bowling ball. The rock explodes on hit with a wall or enemy, dealing massive damage to all nearby. This damage does not scale with the 'HP' of the rock. When Aimed, Great Tusk will chuck smaller stones instead, though its throwing arm, or trunk, isn't all that great. Great Tusk cannot dig up rocks or stones while airborne.

Defend: Great Tusk will attempt to reach out and grab an enemy with its trunk. If successful, it will pick up the enemy and throw it in the direction you're aiming. If you're holding the boulder picked up with your Primary, Great Tusk will swing it in a wide arc, swatting enemies away and dealing damage scaled off of the rock's HP.

Melee: Great Tusk brings up its trunk before slamming it back down in front of itself. If it was holding the big rock, it smashes it down in front of itself, dealing increased damage in a wider area.

Jump: A stout jump that shakes the ground upon landing. If Great Tusk jumps or falls from a great height, the quake damage increases.

Paradox Paradigm: Great Tusk goes on a rampage and starts charging forward wildly. Enemies receive major damage and are knocked away.

-

Scream Tail

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★☆☆☆☆ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★☆☆ Support: ★★★★☆

Do not mistake Scream Tail's cute front for an easy opponent, as it is neither weak nor merciful. Its high HP is beset by low damage output, but it more than makes up for this with its mobility, range, and supportive abilities. Scream Tail plays for the team more for itself, but it'll happily shout to its own tune when it brings discord to those dastardly droids.

Primary Fire: A wide ranged scream wave emitted in front of itself. This sound wave is harsh but not all that damaging, but it does cover a wide area. Enemies can hide behind walls to avoid damage, but the echoing shrieks will reveal their position to others, making it unsafe to be within earshot. When Aimed, the wide scream becomes a focused shout, which bounces off of walls. Holding the Primary Fire has Scream Tail take in air before shouting, increasing the size and damage of the echo.

Defend: Scream Tail puffs up and holds in its voice for a few seconds before deflating. If Scream Tail is damaged before it deflates, it'll let loose an ear-splitting screech which stuns nearby enemies for a bit. If Scream Tail does deflate, however, it cannot Defend again for a short while.

Melee: A wild whirl of its hair tail. The tail whips all around itself, knocking enemies away.

Jump: A floaty jump. Can be pressed repeatedly to gain a bit of height, or held down to drastically slow its descent, allowing it to cross wide gaps.

Paradox Paradigm: Scream Tail lets out a hangry scream for a short while before shifting into prowl mode, increasing its Movement Speed. Enemies that heard the screech will become targets for Scream Tail. If Scream Tail approaches an enemy marked by your Paradox Paradigm, it'll open its mouth drastically before taking one big bite. If this bite KO's the enemy, Scream Tail can hunt for another target.

-

Brute Bonnet

Health: ★★★☆☆ Damage: ★★☆☆☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range:★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★☆

Now, Brute Bonnet would not have looked out of place in a Plants VS Zombies game, but unfortunately it has been branded with the pokeball symbol since the beginning of time, apparently. Even so, the irony of drafting it into a third person shooter is not lost on me. It may not be gunning down zombies, but blasting apart the ireful iron monstrosities from the future is a fair substitute.

Primary: Brute Bonnet launches a hardened ball of spores in an arc. This spore ball bursts with a small explosion, damaging other enemies nearby. The lobbing arc of the projectile means that it can be used to bypass walls that the enemy might hide behind, though this means that it has pathetically low range against enemies at higher vantage points. When aimed, Brute Bonnet launches slow moving spore bombs directly forward. These projectiles are pathetically slow, but they are very light, very persistent, and Brute Bonnet can launch a whole bunch of them to fill the sky.

Defend: Brute Bonnet guards itself with its pokeball pattern caps. Its defense increases greatly while guarding, but it can still be KO'd. If it receives an attack directly onto its caps, a cloud of spores is released to deal counterattack damage. Any enemy nearby gets bounced back as well.

Melee: Brute Bonnet claps its mushroom hands together like a pair of cymbals and release a small cloud of debilitating spores. The spores deal continuous damage passively for a short amount of time, but by the time they wear off, Brute Bonnet can use its Melee attack again.

Jump: The stretchy nature of mushrooms means that Brute Bonnet has one of the more intricate Jump functions in the game. It can Jump high initially, but if you Jump again when you land, you'll Jump even higher the second time. Stick the landing one more time and you'll Jump even higher. The third Jump is your maximum height, but if you hold the button instead, you can build up power before jumping up for the skies. Any more jumps after that will not gain any extra height, but Brute Bonnet can scale big cliffs or reach the roofs of big buildings on the map. One more thing, while Brute Bonnet is holding Jump, its body is squash so that it can build up tension. If an ally jumps onto Brute Bonnet while it is charging Jump, they will also be launched high into the air in the direction you're facing, allowing vertically challenged teammates to reach higher vantage points.

Paradox Paradigm: Brute Bonnet starts to shake and flail about wildly while a primal power builds up from within. After a short jig, Brute Bonnet unleashes its powerful spores in a mighty explosion, ejecting them so forcefully that a great mushroom cloud rises up from ground zero. The blast deals major damage to all nearby enemies but the damage increases further the less HP you have. Also, the survivors will be put to Sleep for a while afterwards.

-

Flutter Mane

Health: ★★☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★★★★ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

The destructive power of the Ghost and Fairy Type is made alive in Paradox Paradigm, as Flutter Mane wields some of the most damaging projectiles in the whole game. From relentless wisps that bypass barriers to sneaky shots from so far away, Flutter Mane is just what the Ancient pokemon need to turn the tide against those wrathful robots from the future.

Primary Fire: Flutter Mane starts to cackle as burning will-o'-the-wisps gather around itself. It'll keep gathering wisps for as long as the button is held, but once the trigger is released, Flutter Mane will unleash a volley of ghostly fire straight ahead. This is functionally similar to a 'minigun' in more modern shooters, complete with the telltale sound of the ammunition being loaded. Enemies will hear the cackle clearly, even during a raucous firefight, and they'll know they need to either make a break for it or take out the wailing banshee. The projectiles have a ghostly property as well, in that they can pass through up to 1 wall before bursting. Flutter Mane can only see through walls while Aiming, but it shifts into a sniper scope when it does so. While holding Aim, the pearls on its necklace glow with power, gleaming brightly when fully charged. Firing at this point launches a powerful single beam that deals major damage to enemies through headshots. However, the sniper fire cannot pass through walls. Either way, these attacks are powerful, but very clearly give away Flutter Mane's position when they're used.

Defend: Flutter Mane turns invisible, leaving behind only a shadow that gives its position away. It is still vulnerable to enemy fire, but it'll take a lucky shot to hit Flutter Mane. The invisibility will only wear off when released manually or if Flutter Mane gets incapacitated.

Melee: A terrifying shout that damages all around itself. The attack power doubles and can Stun enemies if Flutter Mane attacks an enemy's backside while invisible. Keep in mind that Defend normally prevents the pokemon from attacking while held, and Flutter Mane will become unable to turn invisible again for a short while afterwards if it jumpscares an enemy.

Jump: Flutter Mane flutters a bit and gains some height. Holding the Jump button has Flutter Mane hold itself in the air at max jump height and will remain there until the jump button is released. Alternatively, Flutter Mane will continue fluttering if you use your Primary Fire, Aim, or Defend, in which case it will only drop down when these effects end.

Paradox Paradigm: Flutter Mane amasses a huge amount of ghostly energy before unleashing a massive ghastly visage straight forward. The ghost projectile resembles Flutter Mane itself but with a mildly distorted laughing face. The projectile will travel across the map at moderate speed, passing through walls and floors and dealing great damage repeatedly to enemies caught in the attack.

-

Slither Wing

Health: ★★★★☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

The ancient past was a world full of opportunity and potential, but not one of forgiveness. Every genetic mistake was swiftly corrected, leading only to the survival of the fittest. Slither Wing was a pokemon that was slowly developing its powers over the course of thousands of years, but as it is now, its power varies greatly. Still, it has enough power within itself to pulverize those pesky piles of pots and pans.

Primary Fire: A steady stream of flames shoots out from its tiny mouth. The flames reach far, but the rate of damage is much higher closer to the pokemon itself and deals pitiful damage from far away. Also, the fire stream takes a lot of air out of Slither Wing, so if it runs out of fuel, it needs to catch its breath before it can fire again. When Aiming, the player's sight shifts to a sniper scope. Slither Wing gathers solar energy from the sun while aiming, building up power for its sniper shot. Its wings flare up while at max power, making it highly visible from across the map.

Defend: Slither Wing leaps backwards quickly, leaving behind some glittery dust from its wings. It is completely invincible while jumping away, but the evasive jump always sends you backwards and can be difficult to aim. The glittery dust damages enemies continuously while the dust cloud lingers. The dust can be ignited with your Primary Fire, dealing increased damage and inflicting Burn.

Melee: A lunging bite. A direct hit restores HP. If Slither Wing is airborne and uses its Melee attack, it will latch onto enemies and bite repeatedly if the attack is timed correctly. The last hit heals for a lot of HP if it KO'd an enemy.

Jump: A slow but mighty jump. Slither Wing uses its large wings to lift itself off of the ground, leaving behind glittery dust. Just like with Defend, the glittery dust can also be ignited with Primary Fire. Slither Wing deals damage to enemies if it lands on them with Jump, causing it to bounce again in any chosen direction.

Paradox Paradigm: Slither Wing harnesses the full power of the sun and casts the entire area around it with a primordial glow. The glowing light deals damage to all enemies within range. At the same time Slither Wing is healing itself, and the amount of HP restored turns into extra damage for this attack.

-

Sandy Shocks

Health: ★★★☆☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★★☆☆ Support: ★★★★☆

Of all the Future Paradox Pokemon, Sandy Shocks has the biggest grudge against them. As one of the early pioneers of electricity and magnetism, the white noise emitted by the futuristic Paradox Pokemon screams like relentless thunder to its ears. It wants nothing more than the peace and quiet of a less noisy future.

Primary Fire: Controlling electricity wasn't exactly perfected yet back then, so the main source of damage coming from Sandy Shocks is a controlled stream of energy. Electricity flows out of one horseshoe, out into the open, before curving back around and completing the circuit on the other horseshoe. It covers a wide area, but in a shooter, it hardly covers much distance. However, this charged line carries with it floating ironsand particles, from Sandy Shocks own body. It doesn't deal extra damage to enemies, but it does coat allies in a bit of protection, granting them Armor that builds up slowly over time. When the attack shifts with Aim, each eye will instead shoot a condensed beam of energy. There is an 'autolock' feature with Aim where up to 3 enemies will be shot at with a separate beam, one for each eye, and will continue to deal damage until they move out of sight.

Defend: Sandy Shocks amplifies its magnetism to pull in all the ironsand within reach to come together and form a wall directly in front of itself. The wall can take a bit of damage before crumbling apart. Sandy Shocks can only make one wall at a time, so using Defend again takes all the sand away from the last wall made. It's also solid, so it can take a beating, but you can't really see through it.

Melee: Sandy Shocks powers up its magnets again to charge the area around it and pull enemies inward. It's only for a brief moment, but enemies will be Stunned as they're pulled in.

Jump: A short jump, but one with a secret trick. If you hold the Jump button and jump into a wall, Sandy Shocks will cling to the surface and can walk around on it as easily as it could on land. It only has about 10 seconds to make use of this mobility, but Sandy Shocks can actually still attack with Melee and Primary Fire while wall clinging. Once you jump off though, whether it be because you ran out of time or were shoved off by an enemy, you cannot cling to the wall again until after you touch the ground for a couple of seconds. It can get disorientating, though, so don't overdo it.

Paradox Paradigm: Sandy Shocks launches a giant lightning bolt straight forward after a brief charge. The lightning bolt magnetizes the area around itself, drawing in even more ironsand with its residual energy. This causes Sandy Shocks to overflow with electricity, gaining Armor with its excess ironsand and improving the Armor granted to allies with its Primary Fire as well as increases the size and HP of its ironsand wall made with Defend.

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Iron Treads

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★☆☆☆

The wheel, as an invention, is proof of evolving ingenuity, and it is a testament to the advancements of technology that the shape continues to persist in the future. Yes, everything that floats can fly, but gyroscopic motors are the backbone of futuristic designs. It's understandable to us, at least, and definitely beyond the understanding of those undignified dinosaurs.

Primary Fire: The dirt that gets chewed up as Iron Treads rolls around the earth is collected and processed for its projectiles. Out of its trunk pops concussive blasts of silicone and carbon, usually used to blow apart walls and obstacles. They have a bit of a curve to them, so they can't reach very high, but they do pack a punch. When Aimed, the constitution of the projectiles changes to become sticky, more like mud, and they will stick to walls without exploding. They still can't reach very far, nor can there be too many in play at once, but the Ability to Aim these proximity mines makes for precise traps.

Defend: Iron Treads retracts its trunk and begins to spin its 'wheels' around at high speed. The centrifugal force deflects some of the power of the projectiles that strike it, reducing damage. Your movement speed increases greatly, though, and you can deal damage to enemies by ramming into them, knocking them away a short distance.

Melee: Same as Defend, except Iron Treads spins its wheel much faster, you cannot move for a second, and when it fully revs up, Iron Treads launches itself forward at high speed, dealing great damage to enemies and knocking them up into the air. You have about a second to turn around while Iron Treads is charging, because you cannot move or jump until the attack ends and Iron Treads screeches to a halt.

Jump: A short jump, but Iron Treads lands with a damaging quake, just like Great Tusk. However, it can also cling to walls using its magnetized treads, just like Sandy Shocks can, granting Iron Treads excellent mobility.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Treads spins very quickly, ripping up the earth under itself and slinging chunks everywhere. These stray slags are actually its Primary Fire being loaded and launched very quickly in a wide area around itself. The shots detonate upon landing or after hitting an enemy.

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Iron Bundle

Health: ★☆☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★☆☆ Support: ★★★☆☆

Iron Bundle used to be a pokemon that spread joy and holiday cheer everywhere, but times changed, so instead it dispenses refreshingly ice-cold water to thirsty patrons. It can still fight in a pinch, and it's more than happy to wash the filth off of those deplorable dinosaurs from the dark ages.

Primary Fire: The water in its bundle doesn't come from nowhere, it has to draw in moisture from the air before it can be shot out. This extraction process is very noisy, but once Iron Bundle has enough water, it shoots a powerful stream straight forward. The ice cold water slows down enemies on hit, but Iron Bundle also has to slow down in order to hold its canister steady. This attack operates just like a minigun in traditional shooters, which suits a small pokemon like Iron Bundle very well. When Aimed, Iron Bundle holds the canister over its head and launches ice cubes rapidly. The projectiles are weaker, but it's quicker to attack in this way.

Defend: Iron Bundle puts its ice maker into overdrive and starts building a pillar of ice. It starts out as a short wall, optimal for cover and returning fire, but the more ice you add to it, the taller it gets. It'll only get as tall as three 'blocks' but you can move Iron Bundle while holding Defend to make more ice pillars. It's slow, but the pillars are slow melting and are handy to make a decent fort in anticipation of a raid.

Melee: Loads of snow are thrown from its canister pointing forward. It has less range than it looks, but it can slow down enemies approaching from the front. Additionally, Iron Bundle's movement speed increases when it is moving backwards while holding Melee, due to the snow propelling it backwards a bit. Also, the Melee attack is used automatically when Iron Bundle is moving normally, but the canister is pointed backwards instead, slinging snow behind it.

Jump: A short jump. If Iron Bundle falls from a great height and holds Jump, it points its canister straight down and starts blowing snow forcefully, slowing its descent and damaging enemies underneath.

Paradox Paradigm: Upon activation, Iron Bundle takes its canister and starts to shake it vigorously like a bartender and his favorite tumbler. This shaking accelerates the ice maker in the canister but also is very loud and pervasive. After about two seconds, Iron Bundle points the canister forward and launches a dense ice ball into the air. A trail of snow follows the projectile as it flies, until it hits a wall or enemy, in which case it'll explode into a flurry of slush. The snow lingers for a while and increases your team's movement speed while also decreasing that of the enemy team.

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Iron Hands

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★★★★☆ Mobility: ★☆☆☆☆ Range: ★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★☆

There is no such thing as a perfectly designed robot. Each automaton is built to specific measurements meant for its function. Iron Hands may be very large, but it is built that way for one thing and thing only. It was made to pummel those primitive pokemon from the past. And also to guard things, I guess.

Primary Fire: Iron Hands holds its hands out and generates a powerful electrical field in front of itself. This electric field acts as a mobile barrier that it can carry and summon whenever possible. It can also damage nearby enemies that touch the barrier, though the damage is weak. The barrier can take a certain amount of damage until it breaks, in which case it cannot be made until the shield has fully regenerated. Beyond that, it regenerates normally when not in use, and dealing damage with your other moves accelerates the shield's regeneration. When Aimed, Iron Hands launches shots of its electrified palms forward. These palm shaped projectiles are slow moving, but they can intercept enemy fire. They cannot block laser beams, though, due to the property of the different projectiles.

Defend: Iron Hands clasps its hands together in an attempt to grab an enemy. If successful, Iron Hands will lift them up into the air before throwing them in the direction of the player's reticle. The thrown enemy will be damaged upon landing and can also damage other enemies on hit.

Melee: Iron Hands charges its palms before bringing them together in a loud clap. The clap unleashes a powerful shock wave that stuns nearby enemies.

Jump: A short jump. It should be noted that Iron Hands can Jump during the grab and throw effect of its Defend ability.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Hands performs a traditional sumo stomp with both feet before launching a supercharged shock wave from its hands. The shock wave moves slowly, but it behaves like a moving wall, damaging and pushing enemies away as it flies. Enemies squashed by this Paradox Paradigm attack will take massive damage.

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Iron Jugulis

Health: ★☆☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★☆ Mobility: ★★★★★ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

Two heads are better than one, so naturally three heads are superior. You put a machine like this in the skies, and nothing will escape from its sight. It's a good thing too, as those pesky primal pokemon are very unsightly and must be obliterated on sight, as decreed by Iron Jugulis' programming.

Primary Fire: Iron Jugulis breathes an evil flame into the air. This flame covers a wide area and is easy to hit. The attack sets opposing pokemon on fire, dealing damage continuously to them. Also, the two other heads of Iron Jugulis will automatically attack nearby enemies, prioritizing those set aflame by your Primary Fire. When Aimed, the flames turn into an explosive fireball launched intermittently. The two other heads will also target enemies damaged by your attack.

Defend: Iron Jugulis retreats backwards while its two other heads linger in place, shooting a stream of fire forward. The attack lingers for a while or until Iron Jugulis attacks again. This attack can only be used while Iron Jugulis is 'grounded'.

Melee: The two heads reach out to bite and grab an enemy. If successful, they'll pull the enemy inward for a short distance before letting go. Iron Jugulis can fly over gaps, so it's possible but difficult for the player to drag an enemy off a ledge and pull them into a bottomless pit.

Jump: Instead of obeying gravity, Iron Jugulis can increase its elevation by holding the Jump button. It can fly very high, nearly up to the top of the map, and becomes very difficult to shoot down once it gets here. If you do get hit, though, you'll be forced to fall a few meters before Iron Jugulis recalibrates its position. You can manually descend by holding the Defend button. You move faster by using your Primary Fire without Aiming.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Jugulis and its other two heads charge up powerful shots in its mouths before launching them in the direction of the player's reticle. Each shot will explode on hit with an enemy or the ground or wall. Also, each shot can inflict a random status effect like Poison, Burn, Confuse, Slow, Freeze, or even Blind. This Paradox Paradigm is one of the quieter ones, though the charging effect is bright and noticeable.

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Iron Moth

Health: ★☆☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★☆☆ Support: ★★☆☆☆

In the future, the sun becomes a limited resource for the planet. Instead of fighting for it, humans decided it was more important to make our own, so we turned a pokemon revered as a sun god into a portable Vitamin D dispenser. Unfortunately, there isn't enough sunlight to go around, and Iron Moth will certainly not share any of its sunny rays with those uncivilized dinosaurs, unless it's administered directly to their faces.

Primary Fire: All six of Iron Moth's wings light up with intense heat before unleashing a ray of sunshine. The beams are very damaging but Iron Moth has to slow down in order to attack. When Aimed, the reticle turns into a sniper scope and solar power fills its wings. It takes a while to reach full power, but the shot is extremely damaging even if it grazes an opponent.

Defend: Iron Moth takes one of its wings and holds it out, pointing forward. Holding the button for long enough causes the wing to detach and linger in the spot it was used at, becoming automatic. The lone wing will fire at any enemy within sight, and multiple wings can be detached in this way. However, each wing detached cuts down the power of your Primary Fire and Melee attack, so be discerning in where you deploy the wings.

Melee: Iron Moth brings its wings forward and closes them down on any enemy in front of itself. The residual solar energy being discharged heals you for a bit of Health, though the amount of damage dealt and Health regained varies depending on how many wings you have.

Jump: A lengthy Jump. Holding the button causes Iron Moth to send out a signal to all of its detached wings to rendezvous back to it. Iron Moth will float as it does so and will float for the same amount of time each time, regardless of number of deployed wings.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Moth puts its wings together and creates a fireball of great heat and intensity before launching it forward. The more wings you have, the bigger it is. In contrast, the less wings you have, the faster it flies out. The charge time and damage dealt is the same regardless of how many wings you have.

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Iron Thorns

Health: ★★★★☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★☆☆☆☆ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

Huh, I think I saw this in a movie once. Well, that's not important. What is important is that Iron Thorns is a Paradox Pokemon made for demolition and destruction. With an indestructible hide, razor sharp thorns, and a penchant for revelry in obliteration, Iron Thorns is our strongest spearhead against those dastardly dinos.

Primary Fire: Iron Thorns builds up power within itself before unleashing it out through its mouth. It takes a while for Iron Thorns to build up to max power, and it slows down while doing so, but the damage it deals is deadly. The charge time cannot be changed and you can't perform any other attacks, but you can use Sub 1 and Sub 2 freely if they're available to you. When Aimed, Iron Thorns launches its electro barbs forward instead. It needs a valid target, though, as to not waste precious ammo. In exchange, the barbs have a homing function. All you need to do is to lock on to a viable target, hold for long enough so that Iron Thorns can lock onto the enemy's signature, then release the button to let those barbs fly. It's slower generating locks onto a single target, but each 'new' target gets a new lock instantly. The electro barbs can get blocked by walls and obstacles.

Defend: Iron Thorns reveals its namesake, a series of hidden electro barbs shoot out from its body in defense. These sharp thorns damage nearby enemies and increase its defense for as long as the button is held. Iron Thorns cannot do anything else while holding Defend. Dealing proximity damage to nearby enemies supercharges the batteries within Iron Thorns, though. Basically, the more damage you deal with Defend, the faster its Primary Fire charges up. It also speeds up the 'lock-on' effect of its Aimed Primary Fire as well.

Melee: A series of claw swipes with its stubby arms. Holding the button shifts its posture as its tail extends, and letting go of the button has Iron Thorns twist its body around, thwacking enemies with its extra long tail, knocking enemies away. Just like with Defend, damage dealt with Melee charges Primary Fire.

Jump: A short jump that deals quaking damage. If pressed in midair, Iron Thorns shoots a powerful beam from its mouth, propelling it upwards. The beam deals damage but cannot be aimed well, and Iron Thorns will eventually run out of power for its flying beam. It does move very quickly while airborne in this way.

Paradox Paradigm: You know how pokemon are shrunk down to fit into pokeballs? Well the opposite happens here. Iron Thorns grows to massive size with the power of a tyrant and goes on a rampage. While supersized, Iron Thorns deals damage with each step it takes in a wide area. Its Primary Fire becomes a plasma breath that coats the ground in flames. Its Melee attack is a 1-2 hook combo. And its Defend is a brutal slam of its tail aiming backwards. This supersized form has a separate HP bar from Iron Thorns and can be depleted, but it is about 3x bigger. It also cannot be used in areas with a ceiling and you cannot use your Subs.

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Roaring Moon

Health: ★★★☆☆ Damage: ★★★★☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★★☆☆ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

I do think it's kind of weird that, of all the Mega Evolutions left behind in Gen 7, Mega Salamence came back to us in the form of a Paradox Pokemon. Quite literally a blast from the past. Well, it just proves that these superpowered forms are timeless, meaning they'll outlast those hunks of junk from the future.

Primary Fire: Roaring Moon builds up dragon power in its mouth before shooting it outward. The projectile explodes on hit with an enemy or obstacle. Holding the button extends the charge time which increases the size of the explosion as well as the damage it deals. When Aimed, a stream of dragon fire is shot out. splaying outwards on contact with an enemy or obstacle. The flames linger on the ground where the flames hit and opposing enemies will be set on fire for a short while.

Defend: Roaring Moon flicks its wings forward, creating a powerful wind current that pushes enemies away while also propelling itself backwards.

Melee: Roaring Moon lunges forward and swipes with its claws.

Jump: A short jump, but holding the button causes Roaring Moon to glide if it has enough air space. While gliding, Roaring Moon can gain elevation by aiming upwards and using Melee, or aiming downwards and using Defend. Its descent stalls a bit while charging Primary Fire or while Aiming and firing.

Paradox Paradigm: Roaring Moon leaps into the sky instantly, flying very high until it reaches the moon. Once it reaches the apex of its jump, Roaring Moon will aim itself downwards onto the map, giving you a short amount of time to adjust your reticle. Afterwards, Roaring Moon will fly straight down and slam into the ground with a burning quake, damaging all enemies in a wide area and setting the ground ablaze with a crescent shaped brand. Roaring Moon cannot use this attack while under a ceiling.

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Iron Valiant

Health: ★★☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★☆☆☆☆

As life on earth evolved, two things fazed out of the gene pool; weakness, and gender. One cannot afford to be merciful when it's survival of the fittest. That is what Iron Valiant embodies. That and the destruction of gender norms. Oh, and it also hates dinosaurs too.

Primary Fire: A wide psychic blade is launched forward from its arms. Holding the button charges the attack, unleashing a wider beam forward. Because of its orientation, the projectile can easily be stopped by a wall or corner, but the upside is that the projectile can pass through multiple opponents. When Aimed, the psycho blade projectiles shrink, behaving more like proper pellets in a shooter. Also, the psycho blades weaken the enemy and softens them up for Iron Valiant's Melee attack.

Defend: A quick dash in the direction of the control stick. This dash is immune to all damage and effects.

Melee: The psycho sabers are formed into a dual edged staff and Iron Valiant spins it around like a baton. This spinning can deflect weak projectiles except for lasers, as long as the button is held down. If Iron Valiant attacks while jumping, it lands with a large psycho sword swinging downward. This jumping slash cuts in a large area and deals bonus damage to enemies damaged by your Primary Fire. The multiplier is reset afterwards.

Jump: A normal jump. If the button is held, Iron Valiant will start running along the wall for as long as the button is held. However, it cannot run for long, nor can it turn around or run up to get more height. It can, however, jump for greater height and can run along another wall if one is nearby.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Valiant extends its blades outwards and begins to zip about, moving like lighting and covering the area in cuts. The attack covers a wide area as Iron Valiant shifts about slightly. Before the final slash, all enemies are coated in the same psycho energy as the Primary Fire. The last hit deals major damage in a wide area, dealing extra damage for the amount of psycho energy the enemies were afflicted with.

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Koraidon, The Winged King

Health: ★★★★☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★★☆ Range: ★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★★☆☆

Very little needs to be said about Koraidon, the most familiar Paradox Pokemon of them all, along with Miraidon, but there is something to be said about its overwhelming control over its territory. It sits at the top of the hierarchy of the world of the past, so it doesn't take too kindly to the robots of the future laying waste to the land it owns. As such, it leads the charge against the cyborgs, uniting the normally ambivalent creatures of the past against the mechanical monstrosities.

Primary Fire: Within Koraidon's wheel shaped dewlap, a concentration of fighting energy is made and expelled forward. The projectile looks and behaves like a runaway tire, bouncing along the ground and rolling forward until it hits a wall or enemy. It can't shoot very high, but it can be used to hit enemies behind cover. When Aimed, the wheels are launched sideways. They gain more distance this way, but they still can't reach very high and lose their ability to bounce. However, hitting an enemy causes the spinning wheel to ricochet, bouncing off and flying towards another nearby enemy. They'll bounce one time, but score a headshot and it'll bounce two times instead.

Defend: Koraidon shakes the ground around itself and lets out a loud roar. The quake stuns enemies in place and the roar knocks them away. Airborne enemies cannot be stunned by the quake but they will still be sent flying by the roar. If Koraidon is airborne, it'll descend rapidly to the ground to use this attack.

Melee: With a powerful twirl, Koraidon sweeps the ground around itself with its tail. This attack knocks enemies upwards. Any ally riding on your back is forced off behind you. In the air, this attack grants you a second jump. If Koraidon is running, this attack turns into a sideways charge. Holding the button while running causes Koraidon to 'drift', damaging enemies as it slides and releasing the button allows it to take a sharp turn and continue running in another direction.

Jump: Koraidon leaps up with its powerful legs and head wings. Holding the button charges the jump, allowing you to jump higher. Also, an ally can 'hop on' to your back while you are holding jump, as Koraidon leans down to charge. The ally sits on Koraidon with their back turned and can only Shoot and Aim while on Koraidon's back. The ally can dismount by pressing Jump or Defend, or wait for Koraidon to force them off.

Paradox Paradigm: Koraidon summons intense primal power with its Orichalcum Pulse, causing it to float in the air briefly. Allies riding on Koraidon are forced to dismount. After a while, Koraidon begins to spin with great speed before shooting off in the direction you are aiming. On hit with a wall, the collision creates a massive explosion of fighting energy, damaging all enemies nearby.

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Miraidon, The Iron Serpent

Health: ★★☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★★☆☆☆

Very little needs to be said about Miraidon, the most familiar Paradox Pokemon of them all, along with Koraidon, but there is something to be said about its stranglehold on the power reserves of the future. A built-in generator provides the paradox pokemon of the future with a stable power source, and as such it commands the others like a king. This self-established monarchy is beyond the understanding of the underdeveloped dinosaurs of the past, and so it seeks to maintain its dominance over the ecosystem with its infinite power reserves.

Primary Fire: A bolt of electricity launches from Miradion's mouth. On hit, the bolt will deal damage, but if an enemy is nearby, a second bolt splits off and deals damage to them as well. When Aimed, the view shifts to a sniper's scope. Holding the button down charges power for the shot and it takes a second to reach max damage, but enemies will see this sniper shot powered up from afar due to Miraidon's brightly glowing electrical antennae flaring up.

Defend: Miraidon overclocks its circuits for a short while before restoring its settings. If Miradion is damaged during this effect, it unleashes horrible static discharge all around itself, stunning nearby enemies. Holding Defend while airborne causes Miraidon to float for a bit.

Melee: A quick slash of Miraidon's electrified tail aimed forward. The lash is quick and has greater range than it appears. It can also be used repeatedly and can destroy weaker projectiles. Ally pokemon riding Miraidon will be forced to dismount when this attack is used.

Jump: A lengthy jump forward. Holding the button has Miraidon jump further when charged and released. Miraidon leans down to charge its jump, so an ally can approach from behind and hop on. While riding on Miraidon, the ally can only Shoot and Aim. They can dismount by pressing Jump or Defend, or wait for Miraidon to force them off.

Paradox Paradigm: Miraidon becomes overloaded with electric power bursting forth from its Hadron Engine, causing it to float for a bit. When its reactors are at full power, it launches a burning column of light forward. The attack is a carpet of electricity that trails along the ground, unleashing a powerful beam straight up into the sky. The attack runs on until it hits a wall or falls off a ledge.

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Walking Wake

Health: ★★☆☆☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★★

Is this the pokemon that was brought back to life in the Burned Tower in Johto? Not likely, but it's fun to imagine dinosaurs wandering around sacred grounds like they own the place. Speaking of sacred grounds, the territory of Walking Wake and its buddies are jeopardized by the existence of the future paradox pokemon running around, so it's time to power wash those dirty 'droids.

Primary Fire: A blast of scalding water is shot forward. It doesn't reach very far, but it deals a lot of damage up close. When Aimed, a condensed bubble of steam is shot forward. It bounces along the ground and pops with intense power when it hits a wall or enemy, blowing them back. It should be noted that Walking Wake can extinguish fires with its Primary Fire, on the ground and on allies, and they heal for a bit of HP when cured.

Defend: Walking Wake makes a large puddle of cleansing water around itself, which slowly restores the HP of itself and nearby allies. It cannot move while healing.

Melee: A powerful stomp with its long legs. It should be noted that Walking Wake can cross bodies of water if there are any on the map, which are functionally pits of death otherwise. They aren't all that common, but Walking Wake can use Melee while standing within water to make a huge splash. Realistically, this is only useful against Iron Bundle, who can also travel over water by skiing.

Jump: A normal jump. If the button is charged, however, Walking Wake creates a geyser at its feet, which send it upwards when the button is released. The geyser lingers for a while, allowing allies to climb the geyser as well to reach new heights.

Paradox Paradigm: Walking Wake lets out a loud roar as it fills the earth underneath with thermal hydro power. Shortly afterwards, multiple hot geysers erupt from the ground, damaging enemies and healing allies a little bit passively. The geysers erupt randomly for a while, but cannot penetrate ceilings, failing to damage enemies hiding above them.

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Iron Leaves

Health: ★★★☆☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★★★★☆ Support: ★★★★★

The existence of Iron Leaves proves that the planet in the future is still thriving with plant life, at least enough plant life to build a robot with the stuff. This means that the efforts of the present day to preserve the environment are not for naught, and that humanity can thwart natural selection with enough perseverance. This love of nature is beyond that of the beasts of a bygone era, who tear through the lands as if they own the place, so their numbers must be culled to save the planet. At least that's the excuse.

Primary Fire: Sharp leaves are launched forward from its neck. The leaves deal damage, but they stick to allies on hit. Each leaf lingers for a while before restoring a small amount of HP. The leaves disappear if the ally receives damage. When Aimed, Iron Leaves launches a large psychic blade from its head forward, which can destroy weaker projectiles. The blade can be charged to increase its size.

Defend: A wall of iron leaves is made in front of the pokemon. Each leaf represents the amount of HP the obstruction has, and the more damage it takes, the smaller it gets. Using Defend again deletes the old wall and makes a new one.

Melee: The psychic leaf blades on Iron Leaves neck spin quickly, dealing damage all around itself. The button can be pressed rapidly to spin the blades quickly like a fan. In the air, this rapid mashing can be used to slow your descent. If you mash fast enough, you can even cross large gaps with the extra hang time.

Jump: A tall graceful jump. Holding the button creates a platform of iron leaves underneath you, holding you up in the air. The platform lasts only for a while, as the iron leaves fall one by one before it dissipates. You cannot make another platform until you touch down on solid ground. The iron leaves platform also can only be made above solid ground.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Leaves summons a whirlwind of iron leaves around itself before launching it forward. The massive torrent of leaves damage enemies but also stick to allies, just like its Primary Fire. However, these leaves are faster to heal and do not disappear when the ally receives damage.

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Gouging Fire

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★☆☆☆☆ Range: ★☆☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★★

The reveal of a past paradox Suicune sent our imaginations running wild as to what the other beasts could look like, especially since they were all going to be based on dinosaurs. A couple of us were correct in guessing that Entei was going to be a shield-faced triceratops or something, so the actual reveal was met with plenty of excitement. As for Raikou...not so much. But hey, at least we know that dinosaurs are cooler than robots.

Primary Fire: The burning bulwark on Gouging Fire's head ignites with great heat, emitting in such a way that it forms a wall in front of itself. When Aimed, the fire is ejected forward in a shield shape, blocking other projectiles. The fire shields travel slowly and have a low shooting speed, but they can block multiple projectiles except for lasers.

Defend: Gouging Fire's shield crown absorbs thermal heat from the area. In this state, Gouging Fire takes reduced damage and stockpiles attacks aimed at it. At the end of the charge, the fire shield erupts into flames, dealing damage to all enemies nearby while also launching a flaming projectile directly forward. The more damage absorbed, the more damage this counterattack deals.

Melee: Gouging Fire charges forward headfirst a short distance before tucking in and launching the enemy upwards with a fierce horn jab. Enemies caught in the attack are sent flying upwards.

Jump: A short jump that deals quaking damage, except instead of ground type damage, it deals fire type damage. Gouging Fire ignites the ground when it lands and creates a burning trail for a while.

Paradox Paradigm: Gouging Fire unleashes a terrifying fire fueled roar straight forward, setting the ground and walls ablaze for a short while. Only what is visible to the player will be set ablaze.

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Raging Bolt

Health: ★★★★☆ Damage: ★★★☆☆ Mobility: ★★☆☆☆ Range: ★☆☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★★

You know, that long neck is a bit of a detriment to a pokemon meant to be used in a shooter. I mean, nothing sticks out to the enemy more than an exposed head like Raging Bolt, but it's a matter of principle that it's playable, along with Walking Wake and Gouging Fire. We can safely say that it is the most interesting design of the Paradox Pokemon, which again, proves that dinosaurs are cooler than robots. Which also, again, is a statement self imposed by those who have read the Scarlet Book.

Primary Fire: Raging Bolt lets loose a vindictive thundercloud floating forward slowly. The cloud floats at a steady altitude until it hits a wall. If an enemy is detected underneath, the cloud shoots thunderbolts down at the enemy in random intervals. When Aimed, the cloud remains static in the air. If an enemy approaches close to the thundercloud, a powerful bolt is sent at the enemy. All nearby clouds join in on the attack. The clouds disappear after launching a thunderbolt.

Defend: Raging Bolt coats itself in a powerful circuit of electricity. The electric field deals damage to nearby enemies.

Melee: A powerful stomp with both front legs. If Raging Bolt is standing on a thundercloud, a thunderbolt is released downward at nearby enemies.

Jump: A surprisingly high jump. Holding the jump button has Raging Bolt create a solid thundercloud underneath, allowing it to stand solidly in the air. The thundercloud lingers for a while and can only be used once until you touch the ground.

Paradox Paradigm: With a great roar, Raging Bolt fills the sky with black thunderclouds. The clouds bring down thunderbolts at random, aiming at nearby enemies for a while. The thunderbolts will not be able to penetrate roofs.

-

Iron Boulder

Health: ★★★★★ Damage: ★★★★★ Mobility: ★☆☆☆☆ Range: ★★☆☆☆ Support: ★★☆☆☆

Bigger, badder, boulder. What more can you say about this modified form of Terrakion? Sure, it may have lost much of its fighting spirit, but mastery of technology comes with a full understanding of one's mind and the limits of the body, now untethered. This additional psychic power also gives it total mastery over the face of the earth, allowing it to completely crush those feral fiends from the past.

Primary Fire: Iron Boulder carves into the ground and creates a boulder with its psychic powers. The rocks condense closely together, and the longer you hold the button, the more rocks you gather and the bigger the boulder gets. The boulder behaves as a mobile shield for Iron Boulder, taking damage from the front. The boulder splinters off when damaged, but the shards linger around with psychic power. Using Primary Fire again launches the boulder and any rock shards forward in the direction you're aiming, with the shards moving faster and the boulder moving slower. When Aimed, A small rock is shot forward, dealing damage. It will, however, bounce when it hits a wall and it deals more damage if it bounces a couple of times.

Defend: Iron Boulder arches back before digging its horns into the ground, dealing damage and knocking enemies away. If you're holding a psychic boulder, the attack deals more damage the more 'HP' the boulder has, but this attack also weakens the boulder, breaking it down further into rock shards.

Melee: Iron Boulder charges forward with its horns scraping along the ground. The attack deals extra damage for each rock shard you have floating, but this attack recombines the boulder, reducing the number of shards you have and restoring the 'HP' of the boulder.

Jump: A short jump with a damaging quake. The shock waves reach further out than normal, reacting to the positions of nearby enemies. Jumping and landing reveals the position of nearby enemies for a short while.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Boulder is filled with heroic might before charging straight forward recklessly. This charge does major damage to enemies hit and will also completely demolish barriers set up that try to stop it. If Iron Boulder runs into a wall, all nearby enemies at the point of impact will be stunned if they were earthbound and have their positions revealed through walls for a while.

-

Iron Crown

Health: ★★★☆☆ Damage: ★★★★☆ Mobility: ★★★☆☆ Range: ★☆☆☆☆ Support: ★★★★☆

A common misconception about future Paradox Pokemon is that they are called 'iron' but most of them aren't Steel Type. Well, that's because they aren't made of steel, but rather a combination of different materials like silicone, aluminum, copper, synthetic rubber, etc. You know, we are also made of different stuff as well, but we aren't defined by a single type. Iron Crown is most definitely made of Steel, though, and it is perfectly suited to running through fleshy beings like us, or the past paradox pokemon rather.

Primary Fire: Two tachyon blades shoot out from its iron horns, curving in a wide arc before returning to the pokemon. Enemies caught on the return will be dragged inward slightly. When Aimed, the blades reach further and fly in a straight line. A direct hit will pull enemies further in. Iron Crown cannot use its Primary Fire again until both blades have returned to it.

Defend: The chromatic plates on Iron Crown's body refract the light around itself, turning the pokemon invisible for as long as the button is held. The pokemon moves faster while invisible, but receiving damage interrupts the refraction process, making Iron Crown briefly visible.

Melee: A sideways swipe with Iron Crowns large horns. If Iron Crown was invisible by using its Defend, the strike becomes a downward swing. Not only that, the invisible attack deals extremely high damage if it lands on an enemy's back.

Jump: A regular jump, but Iron Crown can double jump. If Iron Crown is invisible, it can triple jump.

Paradox Paradigm: Iron Crown lets loose a brilliant flash of light, stunning nearby enemies and turning invisible for a while. Iron Crown shifts into a hunting stance and turns invisible. Iron Crown can then approach any enemy hit by the attack and strike them down with its super sharp horn blades. If the attack resulted in a KO, Iron Crown becomes invisible again and can use this finishing move a second time against another enemy.

-

Phew, that's every single Paradox Pokemon known to exist. It seems like such a small roster, though. If they don't make any new Paradox Pokemon after Scarlet and Violet, this game would be the perfect opportunity to add some more.

Like, say, a Paradox form of Tinkaton for both past and future. The past form would resemble a stout little caveman, adorned with bones on its waist and as ties for its hair, and would be called Bone Sledge, and also would be a Ground/Fairy Type. Meanwhile, the future form would wield a large grenade launcher and would be called Iron Bazooka, being a Fire/Steel Type.

I say that there should be loads of new Paradox Pokemon added into the game over time in this way, since for story reasons, we most likely won't see any more Paradox Pokemon, unless we run into more extraneous time travel shenanigans. That would undercut the impact of Scarlet and Violet's story ending, so if we can only get more Paradox Pokemon through a spin-off title like this one, so be it.

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Technical Machines

Way back in the Control Scheme section, I mentioned that the X & Y buttons are reserved for Subs, which depend on what TM you've assigned to them. In game, you can assign a Technical Machine, or TM for short, to nearly all of your buttons, not just X & Y, to add an extra effect. Each TM is different and offers a small boon when assigned to a button other than X & Y, but usually it makes a big difference depending on how it's applied.

In the mainline games, TMs are limited in distribution, and the same applies here. If a TM sounds like it'll be really busted or not work correctly on a particular pokemon, it's safe to assume that that pokemon would not be able to use that TM. Now, I'm not going to reference the eligibility list of TMs in Scarlet and Violet for every single Paradox Pokemon listed here, and neither should you. This is a spin-off game, and some TMs can or can't be learned by a pokemon for balancing reasons. No room for fickleness here.

I won't list every single TM for the game, just enough Moves to give you an idea on how customizable you can make your pokemon.

Sub 1 & Sub 2

Protect - Prevent hindrances for a short while and gain a small amount of shield.

Water Pulse - A short ranged expulsion of water that knocks enemies away.

Synthesis - Heals a bit of HP. Heal a little more HP when you are standing in an area without a ceiling.

Earth Power - Plants a proximity mine in the location you are standing, which erupts when an enemy approaches.

Reflect - Creates a bubble that can absorb damage before breaking. The shield can absorb other bubbles made by allies to reinforce itself.

Fly - Sends the pokemon flying straight up. Deals heavy damage if the user collide with an enemy while ascending.

Volt Switch - When activated, the pokemon teleports back to the point of activation after a short while.

Shadow Ball - Creates a black hole that absorbs projectiles for a short while, and also damages nearby enemies.

Light Screen - Creates a wall of light that reflects back lasers.

Iron Head - The pokemon takes less damage and becomes resistant to head shots for a while.

Agility - The pokemon can move faster and jump higher for a short while.

Swords Dance - The pokemon deals more damage and its Melee comes out faster.

Stealth Rock - Invisible floating stones are cast, which damage enemies on hit and exposes their location for a short while.

Gravity - Creates a pressurized atmosphere that slows down enemies within and also weakens their Jump.

I'll also include TMs that can modifiy your other buttons. Remember, it's one TM for each slot, and not every playable pokemon can learn all of these TMs;

Primary Fire

Flame Burst - The enemy creates a huge explosion when KO'd.

Charge Beam - Deals more damage over time until you miss.

Muddy Water - Scoring a head shot blinds the enemy for a while.

Vacuum Wave - Your projectiles fly faster.

Hyper Beam - Your lasers reach farther and last longer.

Bullet Seed - Extra ammo.

Aim

Scary Face - Slows down opposing approaching projectiles while Aiming.

Stored Power - Your Primary Fire deals more damage the more Ammo you have.

Smart Strike - Landing a head shot refunds some ammo.

Psychic - Enemies are revealed to the pokemon through walls.

Defend

Charge - Holding Defend refills your ammo gradually.

Fake Tears - Receive reduced damage while holding Defend.

Mud Slap - A splash of mud is made when Defend is used, blinding nearby enemies.

Disarming Voice - A shock wave is emitted when Defend is used, revealing the location of all nearby enemies to all allies.

Zen Headbutt - Receiving damage while holding Defend refills your ammo.

Imprison - Prevents hindrances from affecting the user while holding Defend.

Jump

Heavy Slam - The pokemon deals damage to enemies by landing on them. The greater the fall, the more damage dealt.

Earthquake - Adds a quake when the pokemon lands, or increases the damage and size of the quaking landing.

Acrobatics - Adds an extra jump to the pokemon.

Aerial Ace - The pokemon deals more damage while airborne.

Brave Bird - Your movement increases while airborne.

Dragon Dance - Each jump refills your ammo.

Melee

Poison Jab - Deals damage over time, which worsens the more hits you land.

Smack Down - Deal increased damage to airborne enemies.

Drain Punch - Steal ammo as you deal damage.

Leech Life - KO's restore a lot of Health.

Poltergeist - Deals more damage to enemies high in ammo.

Reversal - Deal more damage the less ammo you have.

Giga Impact - Knock enemies away on hit.

Left Control Stick

Surf - Increases your running speed and deals damage on collision.

Grassy Terrain - Creates small patches of healing grass as you walk.

Electric Terrain - Generates electrified ground that increases shooting speed.

Sludge Wave - Leaves behind puddle of damaging poison as you walk.

Flame Charge - The pokemon deals more damage while moving.

Rest - The pokemon's Health is quicker to restore.

-

The only button you can't assign a TM to is the Paradox Paradigm, as that is the unique, unchanging skill of the pokemon you're playing as. It would be overkill to add an extra effect to those moves and stuff.

The Pokeballs

One other thing that you can customize, however, is the pokeball your pokemon comes in. In the mainline games, these balls don't really do anything other than look flashy and are a means to an end when it comes to actually catching pokemon. But due to the nature of how KO's work in this game, the pokeballs are decidedly designed to add more than flair to the game.

During normal gameplay, when a pokemon is KO'd, they play a quick fainting animation before retreating into their pokeball. At this point, the KO'd player has three options. One is to wait out the 7.5 seconds of the respawn timer before they reappear back at the checkpoint on the map, ready to try again. Alternatively, if an ally is nearby, they can try and manually revive the ally by approaching the pokeball. It takes 5 seconds of uninterrupted focus to successfully reduce the ally, but it may win the game to continue the attack rather than wait for the respawn and rendezvous at key objective points.

Of course, the player can respawn manually by holding Down on the Directional Pad to skip the wait time and reappear at the checkpoint. It's up to the players what is the best option in the moment.

Outside of reviving, if you hold Down on the Directional Pad, the pokemon will play a cute farewell animation before retreating into their pokeball. This takes 5 seconds total and can be cancelled if the pokemon receives damage, but if successful, the player will return to the character select screen where they can either change pokemon, switch out TMs, or even change their pokeball.

As you can imagine, the pokeballs themselves have differing functions when the pokemon is forced into their pokeball via KO. What they do is listed as follows;

Paradox Ball - Revive with 75% Health instead of 50%.

Great Ball - Gain a great movement speed boost after reviving.

Ultra Ball - The ally reviving you gains increased defense and cannot be interrupted.

Heal Ball - The ally reviving you restores Health.

Dusk Ball - Become invisible for a while after reviving.

Repeat Ball - Shortens the revival period after each successful revive.

Lure Ball - Can be revived from further away.

Timer Ball - Revival speed hastens the longer the match timer runs for.

Net Ball - Traps nearby enemies for a while when the pokemon fully retreats into their pokeball.

Friend Ball - Hastens revival if both players are the same pokemon.

Nest Ball - When revived, both pokemon have their ammo expanded.

Quick Ball - Shortens the revival timer as well as the respawn timer.

Master Ball - The revival timer is shortened for each KO the player has earned.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some pokeballs, or excluding a few, but this is already a sizable list. Some archetypes are better suited to using a particular pokeball over others, but you gotta remember that an ally needs to commit to the attempt to revive you in order to activate some of these effects.

-

Game On

The very last thing I'm gonna talk about is a bit about the experience of playing this game. I can't really go into too much detail without any screenshots of a menu or maps, so you're gonna have to follow me with your imagination on this one.

When you start the game for the first time, you'll be thrown right into a firefight against either the Past or Future Paradox pokemon. Which side you'll join is entirely random, and you'll be playing as either Roaring Moon or Iron Valiant. From here, you're going to figure out the controls for yourself, but this is more to get a feel for the game and its responsiveness.

You aren't able to pause or access any emotes and stickers, but don't worry too much about losing, it's literally impossible. The score will be up by 50 points and the enemy will have no TMs in their loadouts and will be played by the lamest CPU AI that can be programmed. Also, it's 1:30 to Time Over and your allies are very aggressive. Basically, it isn't possible for your team to lose enough points to actually lose the game, so take the time to figure out your buttons and stuff.

After the game ends, you'll appear in the hub world where you can shop for in-game items, manage your TMs and pokeballs, join Online in either Ranked or Casual, or do a bit of Recon in the available maps. Like most shooters, the maps are rotated weekly, but you'll be able to visit maps out of rotation if you feel like it. You can even switch sides easily, though expect a snarky comment from the AI professor when you leave.

If you do decide to join a game, you'll have to pick which mode to play in first. Ranked is unavailable to you right away until you have enough TMs to fill out all of your buttons. Matchmaking works by looking for open games and pitting you in against other players of a similar skill level, though don't expect the system to work favorably if you have any bad behavior documented against you. IE; leaving losing games frequently, harassing players, using foul language in your name, etc.

When you do join a game, you'll first have to select a pokemon and their loadout. You can switch teams if you want, but only if there's enough room on the other side and that switching sides would not leave your team with too few players. Also, you'll almost never join a game that is nearly finished, unless there are no other games to join, in which case you won't see much change to your Rank whether you win or lose.

Also, while this game is technically a hero shooter, there is no draft pick enabled. Meaning you can load out your team with 5 Great Tusks and a Scream Tail or 6 Iron Bundles if you wanted to. You'd have to coordinate with the team, though. Oh, and the more serious games limit both sides to 6v6, just like in the mainline pokemon games.

I mentioned Rank earlier, and it's something that rises or drops based on your performance in Ranked Games. The game will keep track of all of your efforts throughout the game and keep a tally for you outside of battle. You can look this up in the hub world when you have a moment to spare. You'll be able to see the number of head shots you landed, your KO streaks, number of successful revives, the Rank mastery on each pokemon you've played, the Rank mastery total, all kinds of stuff. Each tally is shown as a medal, and each tier unlocks some custom titles for you to show off online. You really want players to shiver when they see xXBumBonker_68Xx the Relentless and Hungry on their Kill Feed.

Oh, speaking of which, you will be KO'd a lot while climbing the ranks, but instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to pay attention when it happens. Upon getting KO'd, you'll see the enemy who got you, their name, rank, any flairs they've established on their names, titles, and graphics, but more importantly, you'll see what Move they got you with along with the TM they have affixed to that function. As the meta develops, every bit of information is vital, so take the KO on the cheek and keep it all in mind for the next encounter. It's important to know if they've got a Melee attack that drains HP or one that slows you down, and it's all info you can share with your team if you've got comms opened.

As for the actual maps, they'll be all mostly original. I can't imagine GameFreak giving any special permissions to use key locations for maps for this game, like Spear Pillar or Sootopolis City. That said, I don't think they would've fit the theme of the game even with special privilege, as the game is centered around Past VS Future, with nothing to do with the Present.

And I really want the whole Past VS Future dynamic established strongly in the maps themselves. Picture this, take half of an ancient island with an active volcano and splice it with half of a floating futuristic city, held together with the cosmic glue of the space time continuum. The side with the volcano belongs to the past paradox pokemon, whereas the city holds the future paradox pokemon, obviously. It looks freaky but impressive, and also establishes whose side belongs to who, and all the other maps are like this too. A large, lush cave system spliced with roadways littered with abandoned cars, or an intricate primitive village mixed in with a futuristic abandoned mall. There'll be unique maps for the more interesting game modes, but these are the ones everyone will be playing on throughout the map rotations.

Although, it would be fun to play in strange areas like the Distortion World or something for extra special events. It'd be fun to dream about... and that's what this whole post is, a dream. Not unlike these Paradox Pokemon but still, a fun dream nonetheless.

-

After I finished with 'Plants VS Zombies: Battle for Neighborville', I had a newfound respect for the shooter genre as a whole, but I still had my preferences. I mean, I now understand why games like Call of Duty and Overwatch and even Fortnight bring in the number of players that they do, but I have a special fondness for the whole fun, wacky hero shooter that was the PVZ shooter spin-off. Maybe I'll pick up a shooter in a similar vein and see if I can't recapture that magic, but there's a reason I haven't done so already. All I can do right now is wait for the right game to come along.

Until that happens, I'll still be here having fun with pokemon spin-offs like Pokemon Unite and Pokken Tournament.

See ya next time.

[whereismywarden]

So after finishing the game last night, here are my initial thoughts on it.

I had fun. I enjoyed it. A LOT. Definitely more than Inquisition.

It's very much a Dragon Age game - with some Mass Effect sprinkled on top of it.

It's a direct sequel to Trespasser (even with the massive time gap there's no denying that), and its storyline is reminiscent of DAO and DAI, although it's structured more like ME2. And there are a lot of emotional beats, not just in Act 3 but during the companions' quests too.

Speaking of companions, they and Rook feel more like friends and family than coworkers, falling more in line with DA2. BioWare did a great job getting me to care about them.

While I missed having three companions in my party, it wasn't as bad as I expected. I just wish enemies wouldn't zero in on Rook so much. It made playing a ranged character a bit difficult at times.

The game puts a lot of emphasis on the background you picked, with sometimes entire conversations that appear to have a faction-specific parallel branch. Interacting with characters from your faction feels a lot like returning to your origin's location in DAO. My only complaint is that my elven Rook appeared to know a lot about the Dalish despite his background suggesting he was city-raised, but that can easily be brushed off.

One of the highlights of the game for me though was how well trans Rook was written! It felt truly affirming, and I loved that you always have a choice: from what their experience with gender is like to whether or not you want to bring up the subject in relevant conversations. And there are multiple trans and non-binary characters throughout the game too. It's not just you and that one blink-and-you'll-miss-them NPC. There are major trans and non-binary characters in this game.

That being said, I found myself thinking way too often that there should have been an imported choice for this or that. And I don't just mean "wow, wouldn't it have been cool if we'd gotten a cameo from so and so?" There are specific lines of dialogue in the game that might invalidate some people's playthroughs!

Also, I now get why some critics claimed BioWare was playing it safe with this game. Historically, they haven't always been great at writing morally grey storylines, but here, it seems they were so afraid of getting some backlash (specifically over their depictions of the elves and probably the Qunari) that they're not even trying anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing (lord knows some improvement was needed), but it's at times such a 180 from existing worldbuilding that it's pretty jarring.

Though that doesn't stop the game from asking you to make difficult choices. This time, they're just more akin to picking an ice cream flavour rather than "Aunt Mia is allergic to nuts but if I don't give her a pecan pie, Travis will kill my dog."

But again, I can't stress it enough, I loved that initial playthrough, and only time will tell how well that opinion holds up on replay.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Brotherhood (2)

Directly following the events of Double Helix, Danny enrolls in Bayville High school and joins the Brotherhood of Mutants. He's not sure if they actually believe he's a ghost and not a mutant, but at least they don't care enough to challenge him on it, and that's good enough for him. This is a direct sequel to Double Helix (linked above), and some parts may be confusing without the context of the original fic. I suggest you read that first.

Written for @crossoverdanuary Week 2024, Day 5: The Owl House X-Men Evolution | Shell

I have seen exactly two episodes of The Owl House, and that was like four years ago or something, so I was not confident in my ability to write a crossover for it. Also, from this chapter on, it's unedited and I'll come back to edit later. I just want to actually finish this fic tonight.

I tried to work in a theme of both Danny and Wanda "coming out of their shell" throughout the fic. You can also read it on AO3.

Chapter 2: Transition

Previous

[Warning for mental institutions]

"You guys got any plans for the long weekend?" Lance asked as he sprawled out on the shabby couch in the board house. "Kitty told me she and some of the X-dorks are going on an educational retreat to the California redwoods. They decided on it yesterday. Can you imagine being able to just up and fly to the other side of the country on a whim."

"And for educational purposes, yuck!" Toad agreed. "If I had my own jet like they do, I'd go to Vegas!"

"If you could afford a jet like they have, you wouldn't have to go to Vegas," Lance said. "You'd already be rich. If I had my own jet, I would use it to go to all the concerts I'd normally miss because they're too far away."

"I don't need a private jet to go wherever I want," Pietro bragged. "If I want to go to a concert, I'll run right in past security and no one will even know."

"And if that concert is in Europe?" Lance asked. "Or Asia? You know, across a massive ocean? Can you run there?"

"Okay, point taken, but why would I wanna go to a snooty European concert anyway?" the speedster scoffed. "What about you, Danny?"

"What do I need a jet for? I can already fly," he said. "Not that I use it for major travel much. Maybe I should. That's what my cousin does. She flies all over the world."

"Hey! We should do something fun this weekend!" Toad declared. "Maybe sneak into a concert, or go somewhere cool! Show those X losers we know how to have a good time while they use their fancy private jet to go learn things."

"Sure, I'm down," Lance agreed.

"Sorry guys, I'm gonna pass this time. I actually do have plans this weekend," Danny said. "I'm gonna fly upstate and visit a friend. I haven't seen her in a few weeks."

"Her?" Pietro repeated with a smirk. "This wouldn't happen to be a girlfriend would it?"

"It's not like that," Danny said. "She's a friend. She's a girl. That's it."

"Uh-huh... sure," Toad said, sounding unconvinced. "You dog."

"Lay off," Danny said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, we gotta get to school. Long weekend's not here yet."

Toad groaned.

"Buck up, we've only got one more day," Lance pointed out.

When the long weekend finally arrived, Danny filled his pockets with all the things he wanted to bring, said good-bye to the Brotherhood, who barely acknowledged him as they argued about what to do that weekend, and took off. He flew north, toward the mental institution. It had been almost three whole weeks since he'd last been there, but he remembered the way.

Honestly, he hadn't expected to go back so soon, and Wanda probably wouldn't be expecting him either, but it wasn't like he was gonna be an inpatient this time. He would turn invisible and pop into Wanda's room to hang out with her. It hadn't even been that long, really, but he missed her.

Thinking about her in that room all alone again, without anyone or anything to distract her, it almost made him regret leaving in the first place. He should have been more considerate. Even though she said she'd be okay, leaving just because he didn't like Xavier was selfish.

When, after almost a full day of flying, he finally caught sight of the building, resentment gripped his chest. He hated this place. If it weren't for Wanda, he wouldn't have even stayed as long as he had. And if it weren't for her, he definitely wouldn't have come back, ever. No matter what.

But he did. He came back. For Wanda.

Sneaking in went just as planned. No one saw him. No one heard him. He was a ghost, after all. The moment he saw Wanda, he realized that he'd missed her even more than he'd thought.

"Knock knock," he said as he appeared in her room.

She jumped in surprise, but when she saw him, she smiled. "You scared me."

"Should I have said 'Boo', instead?" he asked. "I totally should have. Missed opportunity."

She chuckled slightly and shook her head.

"You seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered," he noted.

She was still wearing a straight jacket, but it looked looser, like whoever had put it on her wasn't as worried about her getting out. Her small smile still seemed genuine. Three weeks on her own again hadn't sent her straight back to her darkest place, it seemed.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I've been taking your advice. Whenever I notice myself getting stuck thinking about the bad memory, I try to think of three good ones. It's hard sometimes, but I think the more effort it takes, the better it works, because it keeps me distracted for longer. Yesterday, I remembered reading that book with you. You know the one. I tried to imagine an ending for it where they were both arrested as war criminals instead of having a happy ending. Do you want to hear it?"

"Absolutely," Danny confirmed.

In truth, he hadn't even thought about that trashy romance novel in ages. It was largely forgettable for him, but if it helped Wanda better navigate her emotions then hell yeah he wanted to hear her ideas for an alternate ending.

In her version of the ending, there was a huge trial. The kings of both sides agreed that the Warlock and Sorceress were guilty of crimes against Arvenia, and sentenced them to live the rest of there lives in a deep, dark dungeon where the lovers could only communicate by having rats deliver notes between them.

Then, after years of planning their escape one note at a time, they broke out and took over the world together, killing the kings and terrorizing the people of Arvenia to keep them in line.

"Ooh, plot twist!" Danny said when she got to that part. "I like that you made them the villains in the end. They should have been the villains from the beginning."

"I agree," Wanda said. "It was stupid that the book just gave them another villain to blame for all the bad things they did and fight off, rather than acknowledging their crimes."

"Totally!" Danny emphatically agreed. "Oh, I just remembered! I brought you some stuff."

He reached into his pockets and pulled out all the stuff he'd brought. He pulled out a deck of cards, a book of MadLibs and a pen, a sheet of stickers. He wasn't sure what they would have the most fun with, so he'd just  brought a bunch of random junk. Lastly, he pulled out a necklace, a black choker with an ankh charm.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Your first goth accessory," he said. "I found it in a random box in the attic where I'm staying now."

"No, I mean what's that symbol?" she asked, repositioning herself so Danny could put the necklace on her.

"Oh, it's an ankh. The Egyptian symbol for life, I think."

"Life, huh? Doesn't sound very goth."

"Well, you would be wearing it ironically," he said. "Most of the other gothy stuff I found had crosses, and seeing as your Jewish and all...." He shrugged. "Felt like it would be disrespectful. So, do you like it?"

"Yeah, I like it a lot," Wanda said. "You know," her voice became suddenly softer than before, like she was nervous. "Professor Xavier is going to come tomorrow. I think tomorrow might finally be the day he takes me with him."

"You think?" Danny asked, excited for her despite his hatred of the professor.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I've been doing a lot better lately, and I have a really good feeling about it."

"That's awesome, Wanda!" he told her. "In that case, let's call the necklace a good luck charm. I'm rooting for you. I know you can do it."

"Thanks."

"You know, I also found this totally sweet red leather coat when I was rooting around in the attic," he said. "Ankle-length, flared collar, and it's your favorite color. Once you're ready to give up the straight jacket, I'll bring it to you as a congratulations present. What do you think?"

"I think you're really trying to motivate me."

"What can I say? I miss my friend."

"Then we have a deal," she agreed. Tomorrow is gonna be the day. I just know it."

Danny grinned widely at her. 

For the rest of the day, they mostly played MadLibs. They tried a few card games, too, but with Wanda's hands restrained, the only thing they could really do was collaborative solitaire, and that got old fast. Danny stuck little ghost and bat stickers on all the latches on her straight jacket while he told her about the school he was going to, and the board house. How he'd picked the same city the Xavier Institute was in so he could see her again when she enrolled there.

"They're all mutants at the board house," Danny told her. "I don't know if they actually believe I'm not, but they don't push it. They don't even call me a mutant by mistake. I don't know, maybe it's 'cause they're afraid I'll do something, or maybe it's 'cause they just don't care enough to argue with me, but either way, that's better than I ever got from Xavier."

"I'm glad you found people who accept you," Wanda said. "I hope when I go to the professor's school, I will too."

"Me too," Danny agreed. "And hey, even if you don't find them there, you'll still have me."

She smiled at him. Her smile was always small, burdened, a little sad behind the eyes, but it was honest. Danny liked that about her. She never tried to hide anything.

That night, he crashed in her room. Despite being fully padded, it was not very comfortable, but it was better than trying to fly through the night and ending up sleeping in a tree somewhere. He said 'see ya later' and left early in the morning to make sure he wouldn't be seen when the orderlies came to get her for her meeting with the professor, and promised to meet up with her again soon.

Then, he spent another day flying back to Bayville.

"You're getting back a little late, aren't you?" Lance observed when Danny finally returned to the board house. "Did you get to spend some quality time with your girlfriend?"

"Again, not my girlfriend, but yes, I did," Danny responded. "How was your... whatever you guys decided to do this weekend?"

"Oh, we ended up not being able to decide, so we just ordered pizza and stayed here all weekend," Lance answered. "So that was... that."

"Oh, yeah, those X-Men are gonna be soo jealous of the weekend you had."

"Shut up!"

It wasn't until a couple days later that news reached the Brotherhood of the X-Men's newest member. It came by way of Lance's budding relationship with Kitty.

"Really!? The X-Men have a new member?" Danny repeated excitedly when he heard the news after school.

"That's what Kitty said," Lance confirmed. "Apparently she's not gonna start at Bayville High for another few of days so she can get settled, but yeah. I don't know anything about her, though."

"I'm pretty sure I do!" Danny said. "I gotta go!"

"What?"

Danny didn't bother to explain. He went ghost, made a quick pit-stop in the attic to grab something and then flew straight for the Xavier Institute. He'd never actually been there before, but Tabitha told him where it was a while back. Apparently, she used to be an X-Men trainee before she joined the Brotherhood, and she was still friends with some of them.

Turrets rose up out of the ground the moment he got past the gate. Probably motion-activated. Danny easily avoided getting hit by turning intangible and staying that way until he'd flown straight through the front door. It actually took a while. The grounds were huge.

By the time he got through, there was a group of mutants waiting for him, suited up and ready for a fight.

"Relax, I'm not here to fight," Danny said. He held up the paper bag he'd brought with him. "I'm just bringing a friend a gift."

"Who are you?" demanded a guy with a weird visor. Scott, probably. He seemed like Scott.

"What do you mean who am I?" Danny asked. "You know me!"

"Like, I've never seen you before," Kitty said, crossing her arms. 

How they expected to protect their identities when they didn't even wear masks, Danny had no idea.

"What are you talking about? I—" He stopped himself abruptly. "Oh yeah, my bad," he said, and let the rings of his transformation wash over him, revealing his human form. "Recognize me now?"

Judging by their gasps, the answer was yes, but they didn't stand down.

"What are you doing here?" Jean asked. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with the Xavier Institute."

"I don't wanna join, but it's not like I hate you guys or anything," Danny said. "This just isn't the place for me. And I already told you why I'm here. I'm brought a congratulations present for Wanda. She's your new member, right? Or trainee? Whatever."

"How do you know that?" asked a fuzzy blue mutant that Danny didn't recognize until he started talking. That German accent was unmistakably Kurt.

"Well, when I saw her the other day, she said she felt really confident that she was going to be able to join you guys soon, and then Lance said Kitty said you got a new member, so I figured it must be her."

The others all glared at Kitty.

"What?" she asked. "It's not like it was gonna be a secret for long anyway. We, like, all go to the same school!"

"I wasn't aware you and Wanda were so close," came a familiar voice.

Danny turned to see the professor wheeling in and had to school his face to avoid scowling at him.

"We're friends," he said. "Can I see her or not? And keep in mind if you say no, I'm just gonna find her anyway."

"As long as you haven't come with ill intentions, I see no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to see her," the professor said. "We're all mutants after all, and a sense of community is important."

"I'm not a mutant," Danny muttered, his scowl finally breaking through.

The professor responded with a tight smile. "Jean, why don't you show Danny to Wanda's room."

"Of course, professor," Jean agreed. "It's this way."

She headed up the stairs and Danny followed.

"So do you and Wanda know each other from the institution?" Jean asked. "I mean, sorry, that's probably personal. I hope you don't mind me asking."

"It's fine," Danny said. "Yeah. Security couldn't exactly hold a guy who walks through walls, so I would sneak into her room sometimes and we'd hang out. She always wanted to be able to come here. I could never really understand it, but I'm still proud of her, you know? I may not agree with you guys, but you're good people. For the most part. I'm not quite sold on Scott, yet."

Jean chuckled. "I guess we can't really ask for more than that." She stopped in the hallway and knocked on a door. "Wanda, you in there? You have a visitor."

The door opened seemingly on its own.

"Danny!" Wanda's voice called. "I didn't think you'd be here so soon."

"I came as soon as I heard, and I guess word travels fast," he replied. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in," she said.

"I'll leave you to it," Jean said, as she backed away into the hall and closed the door behind her.

"You look good," Danny said.

Her clothes were a bit mismatched, but it was the first time he was seeing her without a straight jacket, and that was a huge improvement. She was also wearing the choker he'd given her. Her hair looked recently washed, and was neatly combed and tucked behind her ears. 

Even the way she held herself was more confident, happier. Not being in that rotten mental institution was already having a positive affect on her, it seemed.

"I brought something that'll make you look even better." He held up the paper bag.

"The coat?" she asked, rushing forward excitedly to take the bag from him.

"I hope it fits," he told her. "It looked about the right size."

She let the bag drop to the floor as he pulled the coat out and smoothly slid it on. It looked like it might be a little wide in the shoulders, but other than that, it fit like a glove.

"It's perfect," she said.

"I also found some earrings that match the necklace," he said. "I slipped 'em in one of the pockets. I know you don't have pierced ears, but I figured if you ever did, you might like to have them."

She patted the pockets until she found what he was talking about and smiled when she pulled them out. Then, she laid them gently on her dresser.

He didn't think he'd ever seen her smile so much, and so unabashedly. It wasn't the tiny, hesitant smile she'd worn before. She was really coming out of her shell.

"Careful," he said. "Looking at you now, I'd almost think you weren't consumed by rage."

Her smile fell. 

That had been the wrong thing to say.

"I am still angry," she said. "I can't stop it. But... you were right. I didn't need to control my anger. I just had to stop letting my anger control me. Now I can be angry and happy at the same time. Angry and excited. I feel more than just anger now. It feels good."

"I'm happy to hear it," he told her. "So how's this place treating you so far?"

"I have a roommate!" she replied instantly. "Her name is Rahne. And tomorrow, when they're done with school, she and some of the other girls are gonna take me to the mall for new clothes so I don't have to wear stuff from the lost-and-found anymore."

"That makes sense," Danny said.

"Do you wanna come?" she invited.

"I... would... but I might ruin the mood," he said apologetically. "Some of them don't trust me since I'm technically part of the Brotherhood, and we're... enemies? Rivals? Something like that. Plus, you don't want a guy tagging along on your first girl's shopping trip. Trust me. You'll want the full experience."

"You have a point...."

"I'll enjoy the surprise of seeing your new wardrobe when you come to school in a few days," he said.

They hung out and chatted for a little while until Wanda's roommate came back and Danny figured that was his cue to go. As he left her new room, he had the distinct pleasure of telling her he'd see her at school.

He could feel eyes on him until he was all the way off the manor grounds. They may not have hated him, but these X-Men sure as hell didn't trust him either.

Whatever. He didn't care what they thought about him. As long as they took care of Wanda, and left him alone, they were alright in his book. So far, so good.

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

First thoughts from just one watch under shitty circumstances with bad internet and worse sound:

RAMBLING FRANK vs RUSSIA THOUGHTS

I was very worried about this episode with how sacred the S5 DENNIS System episode is to us all. Didn't want a Thunder Gun 4 situation on our hands and thankfully they avoided it so hard! I think having the plot with Charlie, Frank, the mums, Uncle Jack and chess really helped out to make it feel more than a direct sequel.

SINNED -> DENNIS -> SINNED -> DENNIS — I'm so impressed with this. How did I, a wholeass Sunny fan, miss this for so long?! Three cheers to whoever came up with that inversion, really! Definitely something that happened in the writer's room and made everyone lose their shit for sure. I wonder who it was, could be Meg or another writer too, given how collaborative they all are!

And can I just say, Dennis the Restaurant Manager... oh how I love you so much! The Waitress is Getting Married is a personal favourite of mine and I wasn't expecting a bit of a redux of that whole situation.

I was so worried about all the "Mac getting a boyfriend and it being Ryan Reynolds" theories and I absolutely wanted none of that. Everyone had speculated it to death and it wouldn't have been fun anymore (not to mention I do not care for RR in my Sunny, I'm sure he's fine, but I don't need his and Rob's PR relationship filtering through into my dickandball show no I don't "find them cute" and I won't elaborate here anymore).

I know we'd guessed that Johnny could've been Dennis catfishing Mac, but it definitely felt like we were doing an Insane Fan Speculation more than anything — and for it to turn out to be correct! And in the best way, because we never could've seen the vibrating anal beads coming!! That's the best kind of "called it but it's still unpredictable".

It really broke my mind, this episode did. And don't even get me started on the Macdennis and queer Dennis of it all! As a longtime believer in Bisexual Dennis, I won so hard! All of us Queer Dennis Truthers won so fucking hard!

[Unpopular Take incoming] This is the first Sunny episode credited to Meg for writing that has felt so wholly "Classic Sunny" and super fuckin hilarious to me. I always appreciated her understanding of the characters and she's always a very solid writer, but this is the first time where I felt myself thinking ok, you she write RCG/Hornsby/Marder-Rosell/Chernins-level of an insane chaotic Sunny episode with multiple belly laughs and not just slightly Community-fied versions of the gang.

The closest her writing has felt like true Sunny to me before this was Dee Day, so I'm glad to see her grow and improve too, and I wonder if the podcast rewatch has helped in that regard! Must also help to have a classic S5 structure to play off in The D.E.N.N.I.S. System! (And ofc writing is collaborative, so well done to RCG and all the writers who pitched ideas and rewrites that ended up shaping this episode!)

I knew Heath Cullens directing meant a good chance of some interesting camerawork (and I've gotta say that even The Gang Inflates had some more dynamic shots than we've been getting in some of the later years and it's got to be the Cullens directing), but I wasn't expecting a whole visual callback to Being Frank! Loved it.

And the editing! The DENNIS System has always been great for cutaway gags and fun little inserts, so I loved seeing that carried out here with the cuts to Mac and Dee fucking up their dates and then finally pulling out the Magic Tissue of Mummy Issues (oh the potential for meta especially with the twins!). The pacing was so good!

Sunny pacing needs to feel like Mac crashing Dee's car into a wall while we are all Charlie watching it in real time and screaming when it's over.

Random strings of words because I'm too excited to be coherent:

Glenn's acting. His faces. His eyes. His range in this episode. Glacting. Juilliard. All the hits. All the big ones.

Mac and Dennis have canonically had sex in two different ways now, and yes, I'm including their sex tape/porn viewing sessions where they both masturbate together

Did Dennis pull out Mac's anal beads when he was asleep?

Vibrating fucking anal beads what the ACTUAL FUCK!

How many people did the gang drug again?

Danny DeVito with a vibrating asshole comedy acting 12/10 he's an international treasure for a reason

Dee stealing people's phones she's so stupid and bad at men. Never change Dee.

Uncle Jack though, pls change plz, I'm an IASIP loving degenerate so I laughed in horror at his creepiness ofc as I have since 1x7 but fucking hell man, can he be in his jail era already! Poor Charlie!

Hey, Charlie's got new America's just as we were promised on the pod

Oh I should make a post about everything we saw in this episode and that episode of the pod where they gave us all those hints, especially Meg talking about struggling with this cold open — added to the never-ending list of drafts and posts that will hopefully one day make it onto the blog yeah I'm lying to myself now

Parental issues everywhere this season, especially with the mums. Reynolds kids, I can't wait to lovingly put you under my microscope. Once I've rewatched this episode with good sound.

Also just in general, the SINNED system just says SO much about our babygirl's psychology, does it not? Why did so much of it sound like self-insert speeches, like he's been doing this to Mac or smt? Don't even talk to me about The Gang Chokes!

What does r/iasip have to say about— no, I'm in my happy place, I'm not even gonna go there.

Mrs Mac and Mrs Kelly watching TV together like that, they really are lesbian life partners.

Dennis blue shirt with top-stick between those buttons, my beloved. I am looking, respectfully.

And can we talk about the "opening the ketchup bottle" scene? We have to take about that scene! Dennis... he's ruining me... need to gnaw on him and suck on his fingers wait I'm browning out...

Sidenote: I love whenever the show references news stories which were super fucking big at a very specific time in a very specific niche, especially with my whole family being so chess-obsessed. The cheating scandals and anal bead… never thought I'd see a Sunny crossover but can't say I'm not loving the shit out of it!

[w1ld-wr1t3r]

Trick or treat? 🩷🫶🏼🫂

I shake up my treat bag of writing goodies, reach inside, and pull out your random prize . . . behind-the-scenes of a fic or series! Congrats, trick-or-treater!

Hmm . . . let's go to my Star Wars AU for this one! All about how it was created, my reasoning for certain lore and narrative choices, and how some of my ideas are panning out:

When I say that the idea for this AU grabbed me out of nowhere and started running, I am not exaggerating. I was literally watching the sequel trilogy one weekend, and it happened to be a race weekend too, so F1 was on my mind already. I think I thought something like, "Man, imagine the skill needed to pilot an X-wing properly. And to do it without dying in battle, too!" And then all of a sudden, I was also thinking about how much skill it takes to drive an F1 car without crashing it (because I think we can all agree that most of us wouldn't last five seconds behind the wheel of a racecar. If their necks have to be THAT muscular just to withstand the g-forces, then clearly I don't stand a chance). One thing led to another and now here I am.

I knew from the beginning that I was making this AU in the Rebels vs. Empire era. The prequels are fine, but I wasn't about to make everyone Jedi or something when I knew Order 66 was on the horizon. Plus, the original trilogy era is just generally more exciting to me. And I ruled out the sequel trilogy era immediately. After that train wreck of a trilogy, I would rather stay away from it. (To be fair, I do enjoy watching the sequels. They're entertaining at the very least, and do have genuinely good moments in them. But if you focus on the story too much, you start to notice the plot holes, confusing story directions, and aggravating character choices. Why is The Force Awakens just Episode IV all over again? Why couldn't Holdo tell Poe her plan in The Last Jedi, exactly? Who the heck was Snoke?? How did Luke and Leia know that Rey was a Palpatine but she didn't?? HOW DID PALPATINE COME BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?)

(*deep breath* Phew, sorry about that! Got a little carried away. Anyway:)

The decision to make Lando Force-sensitive was an easy one. My favorite Star Wars show is Star Wars Rebels, and one of the main characters, Ezra Bridger, is a kid who doesn't realize he can use the Force until he happens to run into a rebel group that includes a former Jedi, which eventually leads to him getting hunted down by an Inquisitor, one of the Empire's official Jedi hunters. Lando's story is similar in a way: he joins the Rebellion, eventually realizes "wait a minute, do I have the Force?" and then has to deal with an Inquisitor on his tail when he accidentally reveals too much of his abilities. He's not super strong in the Force, because I didn't want to make him too over-powered, but he can sense things before they happen, move a bit faster than others, sense the emotions and intentions of people around him, and, his most special power, he can use the Force to heal others. Now this last power, I will admit, is actually inspired by the sequel trilogy. By certain scenes from The Rise of Skywalker, in fact. If you're familiar with the movie, then I think you can venture a guess at what might happen to Lando and/or someone he cares about at some point in the story. (no, I'm not elaborating further. You'll find out more when I get around to publishing it! ;) )

Writing this AU has been happening in short bursts. I have about half of the main story loosely outlined and a few of the major scenes written out, but I still have to figure out how to start the story. I also have ideas for side stories and sequels as well, but I haven't started writing most of those yet. I mostly just submit to the whim of my muse when I sit down to write, so if I sit down planning to work on one fic but my mind says I should work on something else, I listen to what my impulses are telling me. I find that I tend to write better (and write more) that way. In fact, I'm actually just coming out of a dry spell for this AU. I opened up the document again the other day and now I'm feeling motivated to write in it again. Hence why I picked it for this ask, it was on my mind already!

To the surprise of absolutely no one, this is mainly a Norrix AU. However, other ships and dynamics will appear too, sometimes just in the background, other times in their own installments in the series. I already know for sure that I want to include Brocedes (though the jury is still out on whether it'll be platonic or romantic in the end). I'm sure we're all familiar with how their drama went down in real life. And in Star Wars, what could be more dramatic than two friends torn apart because one joined the Rebellion and the other joined the Empire? Oh yeah, it's that kind of drama for Lewis and Nico! Will we see an Imperial defect to the Rebellion and fight alongside his childhood best friend again, or will we see them permanently torn apart by intergalactic war? Who knows!

Other relationships that may appear are Loscar and maybe Bearnelli. I have fic ideas involving both but we'll see if I actually get around to writing them.

One more thing about this AU is that I decided pretty early on that if I was gonna write about war, then I wasn't going to shy away from the bad parts. I'm not gonna just torture all of the characters for no reason, but if the plot demands it, let's just say that someone might end up in the med bay for a long while. I'm preemptively apologizing for what I have in mind for Oscar in the main story. And uh, maybe Ollie too, if I do end up writing that side story. They'll both be fine, don't worry!

Maybe.

[littlelostmabari]

Day 20: Demon or Spirit

I think this is legit an excerpt from One of the Good Ones or it's sequel, once the gang reaches Skyhold. Spoilers that Saoirse lives? I guess? 🫢 Also Quizzy is a bitch, I'm sorry.

Characters: Female OC (Saoirse the Druid, my 5e Girl In Thedas™️), Solas, Cole, Vivienne. Mentioned Saoirse x Cullen

Word Count: 1.2k

"I don't care, get rid of it."

One wave of her hand, and the Inquisitor was up the stairs to the broken down main hall and was gone. Vivienne met Solas' eyes with a smirk.

"An appropriate inaugural decision for the newly appointed Inquisitor," she purred, passing a hand over the soft pauldrons of Solas' armor as she circled him.

"Her inaugural decision was to dedicate the Inquisition to her own power," he responded. "I am unsurprised she has no care for those who do not share her particular brand of ideology." His tone was apathetic, but the grip on his staff spoke a different story. It was gnarled, twisted, and grinding the blunt end into the earth as Vivienne took her leave and made for the healers tents, a spell weaving between her playful fingers.

"His light is bright, but dimmed, darkened, deadened. He dims it because he worries that the brightness could blind. He sees her and thinks he was right. He's not right, he doesn't look in the right places."

"'Ello, Cole," Saoirse replied from her perch above the stairs where Cullen had set up his temporary command center. She had watched the argument unfold beneath her, watched as Cole ended the life of the man she could not heal. It was a mercy — he wouldn't make it to sundown, and nothing they had could quiet his pain. Now the spirit sat close to her, observing the same courtyard.

"He looks at iron and sees rust. He looks at a lion and sees a mewling kitten. A raven, a carrion bird." Cole murmured, watching Solas close his eyes and take in a deep breath. "He hasn't really looked at you, I wonder what he sees, and — oh, it's quiet again." Solas had turned to look up to the parapet where Saoirse and Cole were dangling their feet. He locked eyes with her, and his brows slowly knotted between his piercing eyes. Without thinking, she moved her hand atop Cole's where it rested against the corner of the wall, and squeezed. Solas' eyes darted to held hands, and the knot relaxed slightly as his head tilted to the side with curiosity.

"Why do you do that?" Cole asked, and Saoirse's head snapped to meet the boy's eyes, but they were hidden by the brim of his overlarge hat.

"Do what?" she murmured, attention turning back to Solas who was steadily climbing the stairs back up to what would become the main hall. It was also the most direct path to her perch, unless he could jump or fly the forty feet. She wondered which direction he was heading.

"Hurry, Jhessem, pull your hood up, don't let them see your face. Whatever you do, don't let go of my hand." Cole whispered quickly. Saoirse could see the alley in her minds eye, the one she had dragged her sister down when the Flaming Fist had interrupted her panhandling. They thought Jhessem belonged in the orphanage, and she would never let the Fist take her little sister away from her, so they had run like their lives depended on it. They had run all the way back through to the flophouse where their mother wasn't. "I'm not your sister. Why do you reach for me?"

Saoirse looked down at where her hand rested on Cole's — or rather, where her grip was tight around his fingers. His hand was warm under hers, and much larger than Jhessem's five-year old hand had been.

"You miss her."

"Yeah, I do."

"You gave her everything you had, all of you. You gave her more than you had." Saoirse looked back up, and he had tilted his head up to look at her. "She had everything she needed. The rest is up to her."

Her hand was suddenly wet, over Cole's. Saoirse looked down to see a droplet of water resting on the pad of her hand over her thumb, and then brought the other hand up to her face. She hadn't realized she'd started to cry. She clutched his hand harder.

"You saw me, when the other's didn't," Cole whispered. "It's hard to hide from you, from Solas."

"I suspect it has something to do with her relationship to the Fade." Solas' voice was soft behind them, but it was startling enough that it nearly knocked Saoirse from her perch. He addressed her directly now. "Cole uses the connection that mortals have to the Fade to slip in and out of their minds. It allows him to interpret their needs and hide himself away. I postulate that he has a harder time hiding from someone whose connection to the Fade is tenuous."

"You don't dream," Cole stated, as if it was a commonly known fact.

"I do," Saoirse replied, finally releasing Cole's hand to wipe her face on her sleeves. "But you're right, Solas, I don't go to the Fade when I sleep." Solas nodded.

"Then it is less odd that you would not feel threatened by a spirit who has taken the form of a boy." It was Saoirse's turn to tilt her head. "I speak of Cole. He is a spirit of Compassion, who has entered… has manifested in this world in such a way that he has been uncorrupted by Desire or Despair." He gestured to the space in between Saoirse and Cole. "I am simply commenting that a mage with an anomalous disconnection with the Fade and a spirit who should not be able to manifest in the waking world so clearly… An odd pairing, but not, I think, undesirable. Especially considering the forces that wish to disrupt your existences."

His eyes looked beyond the two of them, back to where Vivienne and the Inquisitor were in a tense, gesticulating discussion on the landing near the main hall.

"I do not believe Skyhold is safe for either of you —"

"I'm not leaving." Saoirse stood, dusting off her breeches. "So don't ask. I'm not here for her, anyway."

"The lion and the mabari, round and round in circles. Which one bites first? Which bites harder?" Cole continued to kick his feet, looking out into the courtyard.

Solas snorted and Saoirse felt a blush creeping up her face, although she didn't quite understand why.

"He can stay with me, if he likes. I can read minds too, if the need arises. And I've gotten pretty good at hiding from Andraste's chosen bitch. Plus…" She sighed. "He reminds me of someone."

When she turned, she found Solas had replaced the curious look on his face with a soft smile. His eyes lingered on hers, then quickly darted to her hands resting on the pommel of her scimitar and dagger, then briefly at Cole, then to her face again.

"When you have a chance, I'd like to discuss these dreams of yours." Without another word, he turned and made for the door that led back into the antichamber where he had begun painting his enormous mural. Saoirse looked back at Cole, and then stuck a hand under his armpit and dragged him up to his feet.

"Come on, kid, Cullen looks like he needs a snack."

"Lion and the mabari, round and round," came the murmur from behind her.

"Yeah, yeah, remind me to ask Varric about that one later."

[higunky]

detective pikachu returns spoilers (and kinda rambly bc I love analyzing stuff)

I don't think detective pikachu was *just* harry the whole time. I think you can consider harry, harry's pikachu, and detective pikachu as 3 different characters the same wau you might consider a past or future and present version of a character to be different characters. detective pikachu was a perfect balance between harry and his pikachu, attainable only through their strong bond and (mewtwo's powers)

merloch needed the machine to keep him fused with deoxys, and even then it was a delicate balance that could easily be thrown out of whack. before this, though, we see the balance between harry and pikachu being undone by regaining his memories of both lives at once (he remembered crossing the river as pikachu too, before he met harry, as well as being harry before he met pikachu)

merloch's fusion with deoxys wasn't attained through friendship, so he could use moves freely without worrying about deoxys's conscious fading bc why would he care about that? he didn't care about anything he did leading up to that moment

when detective pikachu uses a move, pikachu is the one who is able to do that and it upsets the balance, which also seems to bring back memories. given the whole situation that they're in and how it's yet to be solved while they're fused together, having memories makes harry's consciousness much more dominant since he knows he's a human in a pokemon's body *and* that he can get his body back

and the post-credits scene where harry's pikachu lags behind before standing on his hind legs, since he *also* experienced everything just like harry did and was changed by it just like harry was. after being detective pikachu for 2 years, why wouldn't he develop some of those mannerisms?

I just think it's a really interesting direction they went, having detective pikachu seem to be 50/50 instead of something more like possession is really cool to me. maybe we'll get some shorts or something about how their life is going afterwards since we didn't get much of it in the game. I don't think a whole sequel would be good since their story is already done