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just-bible-musings · 1 year ago

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Trust Fall

Having come from a bad home, I have severe trust issues. But mine go deeper than "why was I hurt?" I also ask, "the people that hurt me, why were they hurt first?"

I often say that I was abused every way except sexually. The people who hurt me were also abused when they were growing up, and even as adults. Heck, they abused each other. And I've often asked God why, because if they hadn't been hurt, they wouldn't have hurt me.

This line of thinking led to me to a point where I felt I couldn't trust God. Even though I knew Jesus, I didn't trust Him. Recently, I suffered a severe panic attack. Looking back, I see now that it wasn't my first, but the others were so much smaller and came in such a different form that I thought it was just my terrible temper getting the better of me again. With this one, I spent hours lying in bed, screaming and crying, feeling like my entire body was going to break and crumble into dust. I know it wasn't psychological; it was spiritual. I was filled with demons, and they were injecting every cell in my body with their poison.

I'm not going to go into the subject of whether mental illness is psychological or spiritual, at least not today. What I am saying is that I know, without a doubt, that what I experienced was spiritual. I wasn't sick; I was possessed. Yes, Christians can become possessed. And it starts with not trusting our Saviour and our Father.

I got no sleep that night. I woke up about every hour or so. It was probably around one in the morning before I was able to fall asleep for the first time (for reference, this was on a weeknight, and I have to get up at 6 to be at work by 7). At the worst point, when every blood vessel in my body was burning and I felt like I would break, when my mind was not my own, I found myself crying out, "Father, I don't trust you, but I love you, anyway. You've been good to me. You didn't make anyone hurt me, they listened to Satan; you were protecting me. And you got me away from all that and you've given me good things since then."

And then I was able to fall asleep for the first time. Every hour when I woke up because of the burning, breaking feeling in my body, I had this verse come to mind:

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

I would repeat this verse over and over, and ask God for peace, and after a few minutes, I would fall back asleep. I don't remember dreaming at all that night.

The next day, it occurred to me: all my life, I've thought that I was a horrible person and that I didn't love God. I knew God loved me, but because I didn't trust Him, I thought I hated Him. I even told Him so. Even after I accepted Jesus, I would scream at Him, "I hate you! Get out of my mind, get out of my heart, and leave me alone!" It was Satan talking, but I believed it was me.

That panic attack was the worst night of my life, even worse than any of the abuse I ever suffered. It was Satan saying, "I couldn't destroy you with your family, so I am going to rip you to shreds from the inside out!" And that's exactly what it feels like, like massive claws are ripping and tearing away inside me, shredding my insides.

But in the middle of this, when I thought it was all over, I was insane, and Satan had taken me over completely and I was done, I was gone, I was lost forever... the real me came out. The real me said, "no, I love God, and He is good."

And as I thought about this the next day, I finally got my answer as to why the people who hurt me never experienced God's goodness:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

This has always been one of my favorite verses, but it wasn't until after the panic attack that I realized what it means. Things only work for our good if we LOVE God. I've spent the last few years since I left home saying, "God, why are you being so good to me? Why were you never this good to my parents?" I tried rejecting His goodness and the things He was giving me, because I thought other people deserved them more than I did. This made my trust issues with God even worse- I thought it was a trick, a trap, that He was giving me good things just to rip them all away from me while He laughed.

But I realize now that He's been good to me because, many years ago, I chose to love God and to serve Him. Even before I accepted Jesus, I knew enough about the Bible that I wanted to serve God. I, myself, have never actually done anything to deserve God's favour, but He gives it to me because I love Him.

But my parents are both narcissistic. They only love and serve themselves. I don't say this to hate my parents. In fact, I always hate talking about the bad things that happened to me growing up, because I actually love and respect both of my parents, and I don't want to make everyone around me feel sorry for me and take my side against them or anything like that. But I simply cannot give any kind of testimony without explaining, this was my life.

As for trust, I'm thinking it has to be a conscious effort on my part. I have to choose, daily, to trust God and obey Him. I have a problem with overthinking everything. For instance, I live alone, but I eat a lot. I just have a big appetite, always did. But even I can't eat enough to prevent some of my food from spoiling. So I tend to eat out a lot instead of making food that will just go bad before I eat it all. But then the car breaks down (it's an old car and whoever owned it last apparently did NOT change any of her parts from the day she rolled out of the factory) and I feel severely guilty about all the money I spent on eating out.

But it boils down to trust. It boils down to, "I HAVE to do what God tells me every second of every day, or my life will go to pieces." And people keep telling me He doesn't work like that, but sometimes I have trouble believing it.

So, I have to make a constant, conscious effort to trust Him. Instead of agonizing over simple decisions like "do I boil a pack of hot dogs or go to McDonald's?" I just need to do stuff, stuff that I enjoy, and let God handle the rest. I'm calling this a "trust fall." When we do the wrong things, it's like stumbling and falling; but God says many times that He will catch us if we fall. So if, for instance, there's a cute shirt that I've been staring at on Rosegal for 3 months and it's on sale and I really want it, maybe go ahead and get it and stop worrying about whether or not I should have saved that money instead. I'm not saying "just do whatever I want and expect that God will let me and nothing bad will happen." I'm saying to stop agonizing over whether every little thing is something that's going to make God mad. Start telling myself, He doesn't work that way. He doesn't get mad like that, He doesn't punish us for... for just living and enjoying life. He promised freedom and abundant life (John 10:10).

Bad things will happen, but I need to remember, it's not God's punishment. Satan just wants to keep me in a place where I can't trust God so that he can drag me back down and shred my mind again. In those moments, my job is to hold onto God even tighter. And between those moments, my job is to draw closer to God so I can recognize Satan's attacks when they come.

#testimony #mental health #spiritual health #Bible discussion #trust #love #God's love #satan #isaiah 26:3 #romans 8:28 #Bible reference

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quinloki · 2 years ago

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Family Ties

Fem Reader x Donquixote Doflamingo

CW: Language, violence, blood, moral ambiguity, murder, sexual themes and situations 18+ only

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 20: Picking Up the Pieces

Doflamingo had left shortly after. No matter what you asked he wouldn't answer what your promise had been, or what had gone wrong with the plan. Not being able to remember was on the verge of driving you batty, but you couldn't do anything about it while you were still healing.

The next three days were an exercise in exercising. Law helped you move limbs and slowly got you eating more and more food. You were frustrated, something itched inside you and you wanted to just run laps around the clinic, but your body wasn't up for it.

You had more visitors as the days went by too. You saw Doflamingo almost every day, even if it was just a brief visit. You didn't see Pops much, but you saw his "boys" a lot. Luffy, Sabo, Ace, Thatch and Marco visited as much as it seemed like they could get away with. Law was more and more irritated by them and eventually you asked Marco and Thatch to restrain them a little.

Robin, Sanji, Zoro and Kid visited you. Robin brought your favorite flowers, and Sanji brought your favorite tea. Zoro and Kid spent time telling you about all the trouble you'd gotten into when you were younger. The conversations sparked something in you, and when you prompted the next step in a story Kid hugged you so hard you think your spine cracked. It was the first thing you had remembered on your own, aside from knowing that you were missing the bracelet when you first woke.

Five days later you had remembered a decent amount of things on your own, and the tests Law ran had shown that the memory issue could've been trigged by physical and/or mental trauma. He couldn't test for things like personal stress, but while there had been brain damage it wasn't severe.

"Memory loss is a hard thing to nail down," Law admits. "Sometimes things come back in a few hours, sometimes a few days. Some people have started whole new lives after memory loss, only to have it all come back years later.

"Sorry I can't give you a definitive answer, (Y/N)-ya."

You stretch forward to try and reach your toes with your fingers. "S'aright, you've already done more for me than I could've hoped for."

"Don't say it that way, we are friends."

You smile, "We are, and I didn't mean it that way. I mean, I think I know how important I am to people after all that's been done for me. I'm looking forward to getting out of here and wandering around town. Maybe I can remember more once I start working again."

"I'm sure that decision went over well with Mr. Donquixote."

Your face goes red. "It... hasn't yet. I decided just a bit ago, so I haven't said anything to anyone else yet." You sigh and turn to Law. "Can I have my one brutal question for today?"

"Already? Sure, if you want." Law agrees. He had gotten into a habit of being brutally honest with you for one question per day. The only thing that was off-limits was The Plan. Through this you'd learned that yes, technically, you were a criminal, but you hadn't been caught. You learned that you had let yourself into his clinic repeatedly and tended to "strays" as the two of you referred to them, and that you'd met Doflamingo through that process. You learned that your mom died when you were little, and your biological father was a marine, and that he was deceased as well, but Law didn't say when he had died, and you didn't ask.

"Do you think I loved Mr. Donquixote?"

Law closes his eyes for a moment and sucks in a breath. "I'm not comfortable guessing at what was going on in your heart, (Y/N)-ya, but-." He looks over and smiles. "I do know you lost Kid $50 because you admitted you 'had it bad' for him. If I were going to put money on things, I think you did, or if you didn't, you were close.

"I'll give you a little freebie, when you're talking to him later about your decision, call him Doffy." Law's grin is practically evil. "I'm sure he'll become more malleable then."

Later on that day you had gotten dressed, and Doflamingo had arrived to pick you up. He was knelt down as you sat on the edge of the bed and was tying your shoes for you. You were almost fully healed, but he seemed to enjoy getting to pamper you when he could get away with it.

"And so, I decided I want to go back to work," you continue, having explained that you wanted to do things that would help you remember. "Walking around town will help, I'm sure, but I feel like if I could go back to my old routine then it'd really help."

"Do you intend to return to your apartment as well?"

You open your mouth to answer yes, but there was something in his tone that stops you. "I... maybe, no, I mean, yes." You couldn't stop the drop in your voice when you spoke again, "I can't really walk from your home to those jobs, I mean."

You could see him tense as you spoke, but when he looks up, he appears okay. You've quickly learned that he was in control of his emotions very well. You imagined his rage was terrifying.

"Your mind is made up then, young lady?" His face was straining neutrality, but his voice sounded defeated. Your stomach knots, and you do your best to keep looking at him. His hands were on either side of your thighs, holding onto the bed. He'd done his best to avoid looming over you while you recovered. You could often tell from his body language that he'd done his best to avoid touching you too much as well.

"As long as I'm not inadvertently giving you an answer to a promise I still don't remember, then, yes." You reach out and he lets you caress the side of his face. You could tell he closed his eyes at the touch, and you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to remember first.

"Just for a week," you say. "Give me a week to remember, and then..." you weren't sure what to say, "And then we can talk about different living arrangements-" you could feel the heat rise in your face, but you weren't sure why. You wanted to use the name Law had told you, and you forced your mouth to make the sound despite the growing need that was rising up in your stomach.

"-Doffy."

His grip on the bedding tightened so fast you heard the frame squeak. The gaze that pierces you almost stops your heart, and he holds your gaze as he stands. Having him over you, caged by his arms, was not the reaction you think Law expected. You didn't feel afraid of Donquixote, but there was a feeling of concern. It was like he was struggling to control himself, and it was your fault.

He lifts his glasses up to the top of his head, using the entire weight of his gaze. There's a passion and a desire in those eyes that is likely to simply set you on fire where you sit. His body shifts and he moves as though he means to kiss you, but his movements were slow enough for you to react. You didn't turn away, but you did put both your hands over his mouth.

"N-Not here." You break away from his gaze and shake your head. "I have nothing but a jumble of memories from this room, and... and I want to make memories outside of this place." You move your hands away. You can feel the red running down your face to your neck. "It's not 'no', it's just... o-out there, not here-WAH!"

He lifts you up into his arms like you weigh nothing and cradles you against his chest. He moves his glasses back over his eyes and you hold onto his jacket to steady yourself. You start to protest, but his voice brokers no dissent.

"I refuse to let you go, my dear. You will simply have to deal with it."

His voice was always pleasant to hear, even when he was busy, but his voice when he was demanding submission to his will was something else entirely. You bury your face in his chest, not wanting to light up the entire clinic with how bright red your face is. You manage a very tiny 'okay', and didn't give Law anything more than a thumbs up when you left.

You had only the briefest moment of sun against your skin before you're set inside the back of a limousine. Something about the smell of it, the feel of the leather, and the soft, almost unnoticeable purr of the engine, tickles at the back of your mind. Though you hadn't the chance to focus on any of these things for more than a second.

After Doflamingo seats himself next to you, his arms move you as he pleased. You find yourself straddling him, chest to chest, sitting in his lap with his arms around your waist and back. You gasp in surprise and the pleasure of being so close to him, the sound escaping you closer to the pleasure side of things. You bury your face into his shoulder, heat radiating from your cheeks and ears.

You could feel the smirk on his face as his fingers slip over your back and slide through your hair. Your body shivers at the tender and needy movements, and you try to suppress the moans escaping you.

"It's difficult to kiss you when you're like that," He muses, and you could feel his voice against your body more than you heard it through your ears. "Though, I don't dislike the noises you're making for me right now."

"Let me... let me kiss you." You manage between the involuntary sounds he was eliciting from you simply by running his fingers over your back. You had wanted to remember him first, you thought that was going to be the best thing for you to do. For both of you.

Right now, however, you wanted something different. Something deeper. You wanted a moment of control, you wanted to show the feelings you had right now, even if they could be different from whatever you had felt before. Not that you thought they would be, the way he controlled your body spoke to a level of intimacy beyond what you had assumed.

"As you wish, my dear," His hands move away and he has them hooked behind the headrests of the limo's seat.

Your face must be fire engine red, but you keep your gaze on his lips. You lick your lips lightly, tilting your head a little and closing the space between you. Your lips barely touch his, but you can't help the gasp that escapes you as a rush of pleasure hits you unexpectedly. You reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair, your other hand is on his shoulder, helping you to keep your balance. You lean into the kiss a little more, but it's like you can't get air into your lungs. You suck in a breath, lips quivering against his and instead of leaning in, you lean back and meet his gaze.

He doesn't look disappointed, but there's an inquisitive glint in his eyes.

"It was a little different, wasn't it?" You murmur softly, your gaze returns to his lips and you don't notice his eyes widen.

You lick your lips lightly and swallow, before leaning forward to close the space between you. Running your lips over his so softly as to barely make contact, you reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, and then you lean in deeper with the kiss. Your eyes close as a moan rises up in your throat and shivers through your lips.

You lean back enough to break the kiss, but you don't go far, "I remember, I wanted to tease you more, but you took over. We'd just declined dessert?" Your brows furrow. "No, we were going to have it at your place... we..." Your eyes widen as more of the memory returns to you. "Oh."

You start smacking his chest as you talk, remembering more the more you said. "The day, that day, it was... what was it? It was a date, but not a date? You were - you'd made some excuse about wanting to pay me back." Your eyes light up, and you beam at him, "THE BRACELET! I made you buy me something at... at the place, the carnival? And then we, uh..." Your face is red, you're remembering, but the words aren't going to come out as easily as the memories are flooding in.

Doflamingo's expression is the softest smile you've ever seen on him, and when you finally falter for words, he embraces you. He buries his face in your shoulder, wrapping an arm around your waist, and cradling your head in his other hand. You feel his body shudder, and you wonder if he's crying.

Tears well up in your eyes and you try not to cry, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot, and I'm sorry I don't remember everything yet." His embrace tightens, but he shakes his head soundlessly against your shoulder.

You could feel him breathing shakily, and you wondered if he had ever lost control of his emotions in this way before. You wondered if he even knew he could have emotions like this. You didn't think he was completely heartless, but you knew he had to be a certain level of ruthless to live the life he did. Something twists your heart, and you felt a deep sense of guilt, but you couldn't place exactly why.

"Don't," His voice is almost broken, and he was slowly evening out his breathing. "Don't apologize, my love."

My love. You gasped, the words wrenching your heart and causing tears to fall down your face. You lean your head against his, running a hand through his hair, and sinking into him. You could feel a wet warmth against your shoulder. You knew though, you knew from his actions, from his restraint, from his gaze, you already knew. But to hear those words - you couldn't write it off as simple kindness, you couldn't hold the weight of it at arm's length.

After you had both composed yourselves, you whisper into his ear, your gaze looking out the back window even though you weren't focused on anything.

"Help me remember," your arms tighten around him. "Please."

"Of course," He assures you, his fingers slipping through your hair. "I wouldn't want anything less."

You laugh, nearly on the verge of tears again. "That's a relief." You set your head on his shoulder.

"Mm? In what way, my dear?"

"If there was something you would benefit from me not remembering, I feel like you'd prefer it. Like, you'd mitigate the risks of letting me slip through your grasp." You admit. "But at the same time, I trust your words."

"You've said that of me before, do you remember?" He prompts, shifting you so you were looking into his eyes again.

"That I trust your words?" Your brow furrows, "No, you... uh... hm." You make a face, feeling conflicted.

Doflamingo chuckles, "I'm not sure how to take that, but you're not wrong. You've never said you trust my words before."

You think about it for a moment, "I have said that I trust you though, haven't you?" You see a flicker in his eyes, and you recognize the emotion, since you'd been feeling guilty yourself a lot the last week. "I said so before things went sideways."

Doflamingo lowers his eyes and nods slightly.

"I survived," you say, tilting his chin up and bringing his gaze back to yours. "I survived and I'll remember, so... so my trust wasn't misplaced. You're not a god, despite your ego, you can't protect everyone from everything and live the life you do."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, you're not exactly hitting the mark."

"I'm not exactly missing it, either," you quip. You place your forehead against his. "Sometimes you need to be reminded of your humanity, like it or not."

"(Y/N)," His voice and gaze are steady. "Let me kiss you."

You lean back, settling into his lap, and closed your eyes, tilting your face upward.

The gentle warmth of his hand sliding along your jaw causes you to nuzzle into his palm as it caresses your face. Fingers run along the line of your ear, sending small shivers down your neck, before disappearing into your hair. His large hand cradles the back of your head as his thumb from his other hand runs over your lips softly. The sensation causes you to gasp, parting your lips just as he closes the distance between you.

The first brush of your lips was swift, and hot air fills the space between you both. You feel his fingers flex in your hair, and his body tenses under you as he struggles to contain the need he'd been pushing aside for the last week. A tender kiss follows, as though he was trying not to shatter some wisp of a dream between his arms.

You lean into him a little, to reassure him you weren't made of glass – or to urge him on, or both - and the hand not tangled in your hair wraps around your waist. Hot lips push back into yours and you moan from the pleasurable pressure. The kiss breaks enough for a breath of air to enter your lungs, but he follows soon after. His kiss holds you in place more than his hands, and the passion he drives into you was enough to pull air and reason from you.

Your hands grab onto the collar of his jacket, and you pull yourself into him. There's no contest of dominance in this, you have only a need to be even closer to him than physical law allowed. Heat rushes into your face, adding to the dizzying euphoria of the long overdue kiss.

You lean back to breathe.

"Shit," you swear, gasping for air and turning your head away. You're red to your ears, and you could feel the heat in your thighs trying desperately to override the responsible parts of your mind. Your hands are pushing against his chest, and you could feel his heart trying to beat its way out of his rib cage. You couldn't wiggle out of his arms, and you didn't necessarily want to, so instead you hid your face against his shoulder.

"You're dangerous." You say, your voice breathier than you had expected. He chuckles, a mix of mischief and passion. "This is dangerous... It's dangerous but I'm not afraid." Your hands tightened their hold on the collar of his jacket again as you turn your head enough to be able to look across his chest, your head nuzzled just under his jaw.

"I don't know what to do," you murmur. "My body wants you, my head says I need to remember, and my heart says," you close your eyes and leaned into him. "that I had made up my mind before I forgot."

"I am not a mindless beast, my dear, and while I may not have boundless patience, I do have patience." He hugs you, running a hand over your hair and down your back. "I will do all that I can to help you remember. I can recount every moment if you so desire. I will have the Family find every record of your life if you want.

"Command me, my love."

#Family Ties #donquixote doflamingo #doffy x reader #doffy one piece #one piece smut #one piece fanfiction #modern mafia au #reader insert #doflamingo x reader

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kipixxx44 · 1 year ago

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entry 4

7/30

i had a breakdown last night i think, not a bad one but enough to make me upset with myself but i woke up and let it go and now it's not serious anymore. i relapsed

bligh and i are on the phone as i write this. he makes me nervous. not in the bad way. we aren't really platonic (or, good at keeping it that way) and i don't think we're really romantic either, it's like a secret third worse thing. a thing that makes me nervous. a thing that complicates things. he told me that every time he gets close to me i find a way to destroy him which is valid (and true?), i've been told i do that to people and things and situations but it sucks coming from someone you care about, someone you love. i love him in a complicated way. a way that makes me nervous. i don't want to be with him because it's not sustainable, or realistic, his family and my family wouldn't do well together, i wouldn't do well with him, i'm not where i need to be in order to give him what he needs. or deserves, i think is a better way to put it. plus, he's moving. but i don't want to string him along or love him for an allotted amount of time and then he leaves and both of us end up hurt. plus, shit with jj would get really, really messy. complicated. that, once again, makes me nervous.

bligh is probably one of the coolest people i've ever met, no joke. he understands me in a way that freaks me out but i think it's mutual. he's tall and strong and his eyes are pretty and his smile is stupid and it pisses me off in a way that i've found i'm, unsurprisingly, very attracted to. he's creative. that's one of my favorite things about him. he's gonna be an engineer, and a damn good one. he's never not thinking and he's always doing something. skating, photography, guitar, baking, he knows a lot about plants because of his mom, but he's also done just about everything under the sun at least once. like crocheting. he says he sucks at it though. if i had ten bucks for every hobby bligh has had or currently has, i would have, like, a fuck ton of weed money. i didn't mention that bligh is also my smoke buddy. and my sneaking out buddy. and the person i sit with on the bus every day. anything that involves me could also probably involve bligh, we're cool like that. we can just coexist and it's comfortable. "our spot" has been deemed at the elementary school playground on the platform that's the perfect size for both of us to sit without his legs bending weird. (i'm only like, 5'1 for reference--) he has pretty good music taste, i've made him like fifty something playlists (that is an exaggeration) but he only knows about three or four. also, i taught him how to kiss. it was after we made a really good batch of brownies and the red hot chili peppers song my mom slow danced to at her wedding was playing. i hadn't kissed a boy in years. i think about that (him) a lot

i went back to school shopping with my dad today and it sort of turned into a mall trip because he asked me if i wanted clothes. the only thing my father and i ever really bond over is obligation. we do what we gotta do, as he puts it. that, unfortunately, is also all we do. he doesn't get my interests and hobbies and vice versa, we don't agree on most "intellectual conversation topics" so anything deep that could be discussed can and will, without fail, become an argument of some variation because i'm always too sensitive and he's never sensitive enough. so i grasp what i can, which translates into, if we go grocery shopping i can be in your company and you can be in mine and we will just be. and that's nice, i like just being. we haven't gone grocery shopping in a few weeks

i did see joey, though, which was cool. we talked about work and how we're really doing under everything, (he is, as always, "on the verge" and i am over it.) we also talked lots of hypotheticals. how many twelve year olds could we take on in a fight? how much does that number increase if we are armed with a metal bat? you know that big brother thing where they come up to you completely wordlessly, throw punches that would 100% hit you full force if you moved at all and then walk away after almost but not really beating you up? he did that a lot too. i don't see him often anymore but i like that we still have a sibling connection. he gives me really good advice on everything except kaz. that's another thing we talked about. every time the topic is brought up he just says she's a bitch and that he never went through what i did so he can't offer anything i haven't probably already heard. which is fine. i don't expect him to know what to say. kaz flew back in today so now i've fallen back into that weird thing i do where i have anxiety attacks before i go anywhere except therapy and to the park, with bligh

i don't have much else to write about right now so i'm going to cap this here and pick up tomorrow, probably

thanks :)

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scmethingsweet · 15 days ago

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❝ Glad we're on the same page about that. ❞ A teasing laugh escapes him. At the time it hadn't been something that Atlas had found himself joking about or even laughing about , but it has been over a year since that night. Does that mean part of him isn't still nervous about the idea of running into the Rowland son that had beaten him within an inch of his life , of course he is. Atlas knew he wasn't going to allow the other male's presence back in town to torment him. He had been made aware of how difficult it had been for Evelyn to visit him during his stay in the hospital , and he had many conversations with his family about their treatment of Evelyn. Of course they had all gone in one ear and out the other. So it had been a relief once he had finally been discharged and was able to see her much more and easier than it had been while stuck in a hospital bed. ❝ You're probably right. We probably wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for Logan , and maybe it is cruel of me to say or wish. However sometimes I wish it had just been Celia herself that discovered it. ❞ Does that mean that it would have changed his fate with Logan? Likely not , but at least he would have been more prepared for the idea of Logan coming for him. He may have had an actual chance to fight back. It may have also spared the blame that people in town had so easily tossed onto Evelyn , even if it had been Atlas that pursued her. Atlas has always hated how easy it had been for everyone to blame Evelyn , because she is a woman and not once accept the idea that maybe it had been his fault.

The whispering of people clearly both had different effects on the pair. Atlas has grown up his whole life having people talk about him and his family. Sometimes good and sometimes bad , he just learned to roll with the punches. Of course he is more than aware of what people have said about their relationship , and like always he is the first person to speak up in order to shut the person up. Usually he is nice about it the first time , but tends to become more mean with his response if it happens two or three more times after his first warning. To Atlas it hadn't mattered what people were saying because he knew what him and Evelyn had is real , and he wasn't going to let people try and control the narrative of their relationship and its outcome. ❝ I believe you , because part of me knows that even if I had gone through with the marriage to Celia that I wouldn't be able to stay away from you. ❞ He knows that it would have been cruel of him to marry the other woman and continue to have his affair with Evelyn. However he had known after the first couple of times the two had been together that she was the woman for him. It had just sucked because he had already been promised to someone else at the time. ❝ What exact time frame are you thinking? ❞ Atlas is confident that he would be able to pull off whatever timeline she would give him , because he too was ready to completely belong to her. ❝ I am over caring about what my family thinks , Evelyn. I had been hoping they would wake up and realize that what we have is the real deal , but if they continue to choose to ignore it than that is on them. We may grow apart but I doubt they would disown me. They don't want to have bad judgement on them. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I am looking forward to our wedding night. ❞ A devilish grin beginning to form at the mere thought of the evening.

"I'll never be glad Logan did what he did," she said quickly. She remembered how numb she felt when she learned it, her whole world crashing down and the worry of what Atlas was going through filling her. And then there had been the drama of her showing up at the hospital only for his family to stop her from seeing him. Evelyn had to wait around until they left before being able to finally go to him. She understood his family, it was her fault if Atlas was in that hospital bed, but she loved him and that should have counted for something. Evelyn didn't care for the way the town treated her at that time, all she cared about was that Atlas would get better. Having Logan leave town had been something that eased her worries a little, she knew he wouldn't came back to hurt Atlas a second time. "Never," she said once again. "But I don't think we'd be here today if he hadn't found out." Evelyn also would never be glad the damage their relationship did on Atlas' reputation and the strain it put with his family. People had been more open in their hatred of her back then, when Atlas was in the hospital and she was happy he never saw the worst of it. Evelyn didn't know how much of that time he knew, if his family had filled him but somehow, she doubted they had cared enough to mention it. But it had been brutal, from people pretending that their shoving her in the grocery store was accidental to the egging of her house to the prank calls and even threats. She never wanted him to find out, if it was possible.

Evelyn knew that some would see their relationship as doomed. Once a cheater, always a cheater but she knew it wasn't true when it came to Atlas or her. Before him, she had never been with someone who was in a relationship and she had believed him when he said he had never cheated on someone before. Their situation was an unlikely one. Evelyn knew that the wedding with Celia was only because of their family and she understood it. "Baby, I don't know if I could have stopped seeing you even if things went through," she said, ashamed of herself. Evelyn had been convinced a long time ago that he was the love of her life and it made her panic before, when she thought of what her life would be like once he was married. She had never thought of herself as a home wrecker, had judged those who broke people up and then she had became that person. "I don't want to wait too long, to be honest. I just want to be yours, completely." She had dreamed of a big wedding before but she knew it was not something she could have now and she was more than okay with that. "Atlas, will your family be okay with this? I don't want you to be shun because of me. We'll keep the wedding small, I don't care, as long as I get to wear something very sexy just for you on our wedding night." They would have a wedding night, something that made her smile brightly at the thought of it. They had so many things to talk about and figure out but that could wait. Right now she just wanted to be happy with this.

#missmvrder #✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡ interaction: atlas.adams #-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- queue

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buckyalpine · 2 years ago

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Hi :> its my birthday today (oct5) and no one really wished me a happy birthday besides my family :<. So may I please request a Bucky x fem!chubby reader romantically and avengers x fem!chubby reader platonically where they surprised her on her birthday and she didn’t expect it because she thought that they don’t care. She cried a little and she received a lot of different gifts. And bucky’s gift was very special and she cried (you can choose what special gift is that😉) and in the end the party ended and both reader and bucky went to their shared room and cuddled for a bit before saying goodnight’s and i love you’s. I hope this is okay! Thank you!!🫶🏻

Hi my lovely!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY I hope you had an amazing day, sending you lots of love and birthday hugs!!! <3

11:59 PM

You stared at the time on the clock, sighing to yourself. It was almost 12 and you knew you should have just gone to sleep, it was unlikely any messages would be pouring in anyway. You had a sliver of hope for one person. He wouldn't forget. He would definitely wish you.

12:00 AM

Nothing.

You could feel tears sting your eyes, no one remembered, not even him. What hurt the most was you always remembered all of theirs. You pulled the sheets over yourself, your pillow getting more wet by the second. What a fantastic start to your day.

*****

"Y/n!"

You could hear Steve calling for you, his voice slightly muffled standing outside your door. You trudged out of bed, to find Steve standing with Sam, both of them grinning down at you while you were still in your "I <3 White Wolf" T-shirt.

"You think you could take Sam to do some shopping? He needs some help"

It wasn't the strangest request, the team came to you for help all the time. You couldn't help the feeling of your heart dropping when neither wished you a happy birthday but you figured there wasn't much you could do. You nodded, giving them a weak smile before closing your door to change.

"She looked so sad, maybe we should just tell her"

"Yeah, and ruin 6 months of work?"

"Fine"

*****

"It's for my...friend. She's got a bangin' body like yours, now go try the dress on so I know if it'd fot her or not" You'd spend the entire day shopping with Sam, though he seemed to be more interested in playing dress up with you more than anything. Every time you tried something on, he'd inspect you up and down. This time, his eyes lit up. It was a floor length gown that hugged your curves perfectly. The satin material hugged your body, with a high slit that showed off your thighs. You looked amazing.

"Mhm, yup, how about you go...feed...the ducks?"

"What"

"The one's outside of the mall and I'll join you after, leave the dress in the changeroom"

You felt like you were in a fever dream, but you were really just trying to get through the day. You waited outside for Sam to join you, it appeared he bought the latest dress he made you put on.

You both reached the compound which was empty. At first you were sad, but now you were just mad because of all people to not wish you, not even see you was your boyfriend. What the hell was he doing?

"Sam, where's Bucky?"

"With...Steve?"

"Where's Steve?"

"With Tony..."

"For fucks sake" You whispered to yourself. "Where's Tony and don't say with Nat"

"With Clint"

You stared at him while he had a shit eating grin on his face, dragging you to your floor. You confusedly followed Sam,

"Try it on one more time!"

"But-

"Just do it and show me!"

You put the dress on, admiring yourself in the mirror for a moment before stepping back out into the hall, to find it empty.

"Sam?"

No response.

"Y/n!"

You made your way to the pitch dark living room, confused over where everyone had gone-

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N"

You slapped your hand over your mouth to contain your scream, the room lighting up with the entire team waiting for you, a comically large pile of presents in the center. Well almost everyone was there...you still hadn't seen...

"You know, there's another present waiting for you outside"

You made your way outside to find the garden strung with fairy lights, candles lighting the pathway to the compound lake. Bucky was waiting for you, nervously shifting on his feet while you ran to him,

"Happy Birthday angel" He whispered, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you close to him. He cupped your face, planting kisses all over you, his heart beating out of his chest because this had to be perfect. Before you could say anything he took your hand, getting down on one knee.

"Y/n" He kissed your hand soothingly while your lip quivered, tears already spilling down your cheeks. "Baby, I knew I wanted to be with you forever from the day I met you. You're the most precious thing in my life. I'd give anything to be able to wake up beside you every single day, to be able to hold you every single night"

"I can't even put into words how much I adore you angel, you complete my heart in a way no one else does"

"My y/n, will you marry me?"

You could hardly get any words out, your lip shaking, furiously nodding before letting out a choked sob.

"Y-yes!"

He took a ring from a little black box, slipping it onto your finger before sweeping you into his arms, his lips smashing onto yours. His arms cradled you close to him, he loved holding onto your soft curves, hi hands stroking the bare skin on your back.

You could hear the cheers from the team who joined you outside, but all you could focus on was the man in front of you, your sweet Bucky. His lips didn't leave your skin, kissing every inch he could, you were his home. His everything.

"I love you sweet girl"

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mclarensangel · 2 years ago

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The Seal of the Dragon

Chapter one - Trials and tribulations

warnings: mentions of weight, AFAB character, mentions of female body parts, references to the weight of M/C, loosely based on my own research of the ancient Korean royalty system, message me if you feel I need more warnings

Y/N trusted her father. At least that’s what she tells herself. And it’s what she keeps telling herself day after day when each day her father disappoints her more and more.

“I’m using this money for your future” he would say, whilst reeking of beer and stumbling through the door to their house. On particularly bad days, he would barely make eye contact with her as he tells her that his drinking was ‘all her fault’. Her father spent his days, after his fall from grace, drinking away the money that the rest of her family was trying so hard to cling onto, to hold them afloat in the noble status that they were barely a part of.

There were few things that made her life feel just that little bit better, and that was her best friend, Hwang Yeji. Yeji had been her friend since she could remember, her own mother telling her stories of how you were practically raised by both sets of parents. There hadn't been a day that had gone by that Y/N felt loved and appreciated by her best friend.

Hwang Yeji, from the Hwang clan, was a beautiful woman, who was adored by everyone in the town. She had the warmest brown eyes that sparkled in the sun, and her hair was a similar colour to her eyes, only being lightened by the long summer days. Yeji was both taller, and skinnier than you, but she never let you feel like you were any less stunning than she was. Besides your mother, she was your biggest supporter. Pushing you to do bigger and better things with your life.

As much as she was your biggest supporter, she was also the person who worried about you the most. She despised your father, for what he was putting you and your family through, but she knew that there was nothing she could do, other than being there for you, to have a shoulder to cry on when your father spat his harsh words at her.

It was a lovely summer morning, at the beginning of June when the weather was warm, but there was still a calming breeze that swept through the streets, cooling you off as it passed. Today, Yeji had decided she wanted to drag you into the centre of town, where the hustle and bustle were found. You were donning a dark pink Chima with a cream Jeogri, your hair pinned back with a hair stick you had received for your 18th birthday, it was made of silver with a simple pink crystal, the metal details of flowers making the pin even more beautiful in your eyes.

Your white shoes made small sounds against the sandy ground, as you moved towards Yeji's house. It took a few moments for you to reach her house, and just as you were going through the gate, to enter into their garden, you walked straight into a chest. Looking up in anxiety, you see her older brother smirking down at you. a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Hyunjin! Omo! I am so sorry, I was in my head again, did I hurt you?" you quickly blurted out, as a soft pink colour swept across your face, your heart racing, worrying that you had in fact hurt the man that was stood in front of you, smiling down at your flustered state.

"Y/N! It's okay, I know what you're like, you've been bumping into me since you were 4, you never could keep your head out of the clouds could you?" he teased "Yeji will be out in a second, mother is finishing braiding her hair, as for some reason, the pabo can't do it herself" he adds. Before you could respond, he cut you off saying "Anyways, duty calls. Stay safe both of you" he finishes, but not before looking behind you. Hyunjin smiles behind you, and then at you before moving around you and out of the gate and down the street. You giggle slightly at the man's antics, he also has been a ball of energy. When you were younger, you had a crush on your best friend's big brother, I mean who wouldn't, he looked like he should be on a poster for everyone to admire. But you soon got over that crush, quickly realising that although you saw the man as attractive, the bond you had was definitely one of a sibling rather than a lover.

You heard quick yet light footsteps behind you before you felt two small and delicate hands rest on your shoulders. "Was he winding you up again?" she asked, a slight smirk on her small mouth, remembering when you told her that you had previously fancied her bother. Your face flushed again before responding "he was telling me that mother was braiding your hair, and calling you... what was it?" a smirk gracing your own lips, before carrying on "oh yeah... a pabo" you ended, looking up at your friend as a look of annoyance came onto her face. You knew she wasn't annoyed at you, rather she was annoyed at her elder sibling. The look that fell over her face next, brought memories back of when the two had been fighting and pulling pranks on each other that you soon got involved in, for both sides. You saw the same mischievous glint in her eye that you had seen in her brother's eyes just minutes before.

"I want nothing to do with whatever scheme it is you are building up in your head" you laughed, linking arms with your friend as you pulled her into the street so you could begin your mission of heading into the town centre. "spoilsport" she retorts, before beginning to pull the two of you into a skip. Smiles filled both of your faces, even as the townspeople gave the two of you quizzical looks.

"what's the plan t-" Yeji began before being cut off by shouts in the streets, as people ran through handing small pieces of hanji to passersby

"THE KING IS LOOKING FOR A QUEEN! THE SELECTION PROCESS BEGINS IN 7 DAYS" was the main sentence that was being yelled out from within the crowds "MORE INFORMATION IS AT THE TOWN HALL" others carried on

Yeji turned to you, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. And without. a word, she grabs your wrist, pulling you full-speed to the town hall.

#poly!bts x reader #bts x chubby reader #poly!bts #bts #kim namjoon imagine #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim seokjin imagine #min yoogni #min yoongi imagine #jung hoseok #jung hoseok imagine #park jimin #park jimin imagine #kim taehyung #kim taehyung imagine #jeon jeongkook #jeon jungkook imagine #the seal of the dragon

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parchmentedpetrichor · 3 years ago

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➳the girl in the lilac dress ♠ ♡

in which y/n meets fred's ex-girlfriend, days after fred confessed his love for her. there's still some confusion on the status of their relationship. angst -> fluff. narrated by you, y/n l/n.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±5.4k

tw: angst (not too bad though), mean words, blood, mentions of auror missions, kidnapping, needles, st mungo's

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. hermione, lee and alicia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

the girl in the lilac dress

i was in a good mood. on the way to work to receive my mission, i was humming a song that had just come out. it was catchy and worth the wait.

out of the corner of my eye, a lilac colour appeared suddenly. strange, i thought. it approached me, in the form of a beautiful woman. she had the lightest grey eyes and the smoothest milky-white skin, and the shiniest locks of dark brown hair. she walked in a flowy lilac gown, her slim model-like body walking in a model-like fashion.

i was pretty sure she wasn't headed towards me, but when her luxurious voice said "good morning" in the calmest tone possible to me, i looked at her confusedly.

"hi!" i replied brightly, smiling.

she smiled sinisterly, "my name is pretoria aphrodite, i'm fred's ex-girlfriend."

he hadn't ever mentioned an ex, but i knew he had dated quite a few people. she made me seem like a glass of water next to a glass of red wine, naive and ugly. i was those two things anyway.

"oh! i'm y/n l/n! nice to meet you, you do seem like a daughter of aphrodite," i said politely.

"darling, all women are daughters of aphrodite. i understand fred's interested in you?"

she observed me and i laughed.

"i don't think that's quite the word. he's my best friend."

"friends with benefits?"

"oh gosh no! i don't really know where we stand, honestly."

"bitter about it?"

i thought for a second, "nah, i couldn't be. love's a hard thing."

"it is, indeed, and you work for the ministry?"

i nodded, "head of the auror office. what about you?"

"i model for witch weekly."

i gasped, "you're the p. aphrodite? i should've known!"

"big fan?" she looked amusedly at me.

"my friends are, so naturally i am."

"you don't seem the type fred usually goes for."

"i wouldn't say he's even going for me," i said cautiously.

"you are much too cutesie for his type."

i glanced up at her. she was smiling kindly.

"pfft, but better cutesie than nothing, amirite?" i asked friendlily, "well it's been nice to talk with you, but i gotta hurry!"

"no worries, i'll come with you, i have some business at the ministry too. have you seen his past exes?"

"uhh, not really?"

"well they're all models for one magazine or another."

"oh, okay. and that's important because...?" i asked her carefully.

"i just thought you should know."

i laughed, "i'm not model material, am i? i don't mind at all."

she looks taken aback. "i would say, with longer hair," she plucked a hair out of my poor mess of locks, "and a shorter upper body, with perhaps lip fillers, you'd look model-like."

her tone was analysing and not at all attacking.

"only three things??" i asked, shocked.

"you are rather... pretty already," she mused, "not model-like, but cute."

we had reached the ministry.

"thanks, see you later!" she waved and disappeared.

all that was left was a buzzing fly which soon flew away.

i immediately dialled in my auror code in the red telephone box and was sent into hermione granger's office.

"'mione! how good to see you!" i hugged her.

"hello y/n!"

in the ministry and the auror department, the head of the auror office was probably more important than the minister for magic. i didn't know why. she had brought me a cup of hot chocolate.

"thanks, 'mione, you didn't need to. what's the mission today?"

"two babies are being held hostage in a coded location by a person who calls themselves the light lord. dark lord, light lord, y'know?" she handed me a coded piece of parchment.

i thoughtfully pondered, "the light lord. who do you need?"

"i was hoping you go on this mission, then you could give me some news on this light lord person."

"that's doable. we'll need to bring in hepole and a ministry official to negotiate passports and such. and a strong auror team."

"right on it. i'll get wally becker and charlotte-ann becker. they're a force to be reckoned with on the borders."

"how much experience?"

"they're twins, been doing this for about fifty years now."

"perfect. and hepole?"

"on the way."

"thanks, minister," i winked at her, getting out my telephone and dialling the disguise unit.

"hello, poplinn speaking."

"pop, we need a few disguises. light lord."

"miss l/n! o-of course!"

"and pop?"

"y-yeah?"

"call me y/n."

i hung up, dialling harry's office.

"harry, call draco and be in my office in ten minutes. i don't care what business he's doing with scorpius, we've got babysitters here. light lord, perhaps a second of voldemort."

"of course."

i picked up the ringing phone that was in the corner of hermione's office.

"y/n, me and scorpy are having a zoo day, we're at the muggle zoo you suggested."

"sorry dray, but it's important."

"there's no one else?"

"there are others, but we need your expertise."

there was a pause, "i won't need to show my dark mark?"

"it's fading anyway. no."

"i'll be paid?"

"in hundreds."

"how old are the children?"

"2 and 4," hermione said.

the silence told me he was sold.

"i'll be there."

i picked up the big microphone and said, "auror unit 156 to the brief room. no need to bring anything. see you there!"

"good luck," hermione grimly said, "be safe, head."

"mhm and cup o' coffee tomorrow? if i survive, that is," i grinned.

"'course."

i smiled, "c'ya!"

she was shaking her head.

"oi, no disappointment, 'mione! i was the one who got the ministry out of paperwork!"

"burning paper doesn't count, y/n."

"it wasn't burning paper, hermione granger, it was arson."

"no, it was the saddest form of arson i've ever seen."

"hey! that's rude."

"just go on your mission already."

i laughed, "on it, minister. kalle?"

kalle looked at me, "yes?"

"tell miss minister to take a break and play a game or something, will you?"

she smiled, "okay."

"give my thanks to your mother too, loved the cookies!"

"alright, good luck, head!"

"thanks, bye!"

i apparated to the brief room, where everyone was strapped into special camouflage clothes.

i handed hepole the parchment and immediately began briefing the unit, harry and draco, on the mission.

"please be safe out there. if you're injured, apparate or travel back here, okay?"

i looked at hepole.

he cleared his throat, "they're in albania. the forest there."

"okay. harry and draco will provide attacking forces," the two nodded.

"i want lopex, quentin blake, quentin grill and hilly to break into any establishment," i say to the team, "and eron, hawks, melv, argonas to hold the offender hostage. johnathan, team healer as always. i'll take the children. hepole, you come and accompany us till the forest, then you have my permission to stay back, and beckers, stay invisible with the cloak, write a report for the minister when you come back, understand? have faith, team! i believe in you. we travel by apparition with the machine in three minutes. call your family, chat, have a snack, drink some water, and relax."

i picked up my telephone and dialled my parents.

"hi mum, dad, i'm going on a mission!"

"alright, be safe sweetie," my mum called.

"yeah, don't die kiddo," my dad added.

"right right, i love you, bye!"

the mission was successful. we rescued the children and sent the kidnapper to trial for azkaban. i escaped with a gash on my forearm, but quickly fixed it up with a spell. it ended late in the evening, so the team healer had gone home. the wound kept opening again, but i wasn't sure if it needed stitches.

putting everything away and making sure the aurors were okay, i headed back to the apartment i shared with fred.

i felt emotionally and physically drained, ready to enjoy a good shower and a good late dinner.

when i fiddled with the key to the door and opened it, my heart absolutely stopped.

pretoria aphrodite was kissing fred passionately. i felt my heart fall ten thousand flights of stairs in disappointment. of course. i was all a rebound who was pathetically in love with him.

when they stopped and saw me, pretoria smirked and fred stood up, astounded.

"uhh, continue? sorry," i apologised awkwardly.

"wait, y/n, it's not what it looks like-" he said.

"i don't mind, be safe," i smiled, too tired and too weak to do anything, closing the door and feeling tears well up in my eyes as i took my bag and myself somewhere. anywhere away from this all. my wound burned. i cursed under my breath as i made my way to st mungo's.

"y/n, you should have come here earlier!" yvonne, my friend, says, as she slowly injects a needle into me, "it's infected! and it needs stitches."

i laughed, "everything needs stitches. this is why i didn't become a healer, yvonne."

she shook her head in dismay.

"lol."

i watched the needle go in.

then she stitched the bloody mess of a wound up, cleaning it gently.

"now i can't stay, y/n," i pouted, "no, don't give me that face, i have other patients."

i nodded, "thanks yvonne."

"no problems. take care. you're too reckless."

"am not!"

she laughed. "that's funny."

after the trip to st mungo's which was pretty short, i wondered what to do. my mind kept floating to the scene i had just witnessed.

i was just the stupid, stupid, girl he used as a rebound. he didn't even use me as a real rebound, just someone who was simply infatuated with him to help him forget his unforgettable ex.

looking at a shop window, i caught a glimpse of myself. i hated being insecure but it happened.

i looked ugly. eyes too small, nose too big, lips not full enough. my thighs touched and i didn't have abs. i had a long gash running down my forearm, surrounded by other cuts. my hair was messy and disgusting. compared to the angel on earth pretoria was, i was nothing. small and plain was nothing when luxurious and beautiful was present.

and it hurt. my heart hurt. my head hurt.

i shook my head gently of my thoughts, chuckling bitterly.

fred weasley was completely and utterly out of my league.

whatevs, i thought. hurting was fine.

deciding to get over him once and for all, i bought some groceries and apparated to the doorstep of lee and alicia's glamorous cottage.

i knocked twice on the door. "hellooo!" i called out.

"baby, can you get that?" lee asked alicia.

alicia opened the door, smiling as she saw me.

"hey ali!"

"hi! come in!"

at first glance i could tell she knew something wrong.

"can i sleep here tonight? and take a shower? and eat some of your food please guys? and maybe steal a shirt i left here for safekeep? and maybe use your telephone? i'm really sorry for troubling you, so i got you guys snacks."

i was the second cousin by marriage of lee. it was good overall, but he was super naughty.

"snacks?"

"your favourites."

"then i guess you can," he said cheekily and i laughed.

"alicia, i don't know how or why you ended up with this child, but i'm glad you did," i told her and she laughed heartily.

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"no," i quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and took a long shower, letting a few tears slip but not enough so that it looked like it. i was subtle.

i bundled up in heavy clothing and wrapped my hair in a towel.

gingerly, i bandaged the wound.

by the snores in the other room, lee was asleep. i crept out quietly, going to cook something.

alicia was sitting down, with my favourite comfort meal prepared. i felt tears of appreciation well up in my eyes.

"thank you, ali, i love you."

"you damn well do."

we both giggled.

"what happened?" she asked me.

"nothing. i just wanted a change."

"from fred? liar. i'll ask again. what happened, y/n?"

"just a long mission, that's all."

"after long missions you usually watch movies with fred."

"couldn't i visit my best friend and my cuz?"

"you visit us on weekends. it's a friday."

"well i wanted to visit you!"

"bullshit."

"is it that hard to believe?"

"what the fuck did fred do to you?"

"nothin'?"

"c'mon y/n, you have to tell me. there's a reason why you didn't go to angie and george's tonight."

"i went here because they're super kissy. you guys have space and act normally. i appreciate that."

"you're awesome at lying."

"i'm not lying!"

"does this happen to involve pretoria aphrodite?"

i nodded, sighing, "she's so nice and pretty." i played with my food.

"i bumped into her. she's pretty, but not nice."

"oh?"

"she called me fiercely ugly. she forgot i model for witch weekly too."

"what did you say back?"

"i told her to fuck off."

i laughed, "she was very nice to me. but next time i see her imma kill her."

"of course she was nice to you, you're a lil angel! anyway, she's an animagus, didya know?"

"whoa how did you know?"

"caught her in a jar. she's a fly. who do you think told hermione to catch rita skeeter in the jar?"

i laughed, "rita skeeter is a beetle! gosh, she's annoying."

"what did fred and pretoria do?"

"nothing."

"please tell me?"

"they-" i swallowed, "they were kissing, and so i came here because i didn't wanna watch anymore."

"hang on, he told you he loved you a few days ago?"

i nodded.

"that doesn't seem right."

i shrugged, "pretoria's better than me. i don't blame him."

"his mother would kill him!"

i shrugged again, "i don't think he was legit when he said that."

"molly weasley, y/n!"

"look, he can explain it to you, i don't even wanna hear it. the first stage of mourning is denial, they say."

"doesn't mean it's good."

"denial is awesome. it's ignorance, but you choose to be stupid. i'm already so stupid!" i groaned, covering my face with my hands, "so so so so so so so stupid, foolish, dumb, and i don't want you to tell me i'm not because i know i am. pathetic."

i gobbled down the rest of the meal, "ths 's delicous," i said, swallowing, "g'night!"

"don't be afraid to let it all out."

"yeah."

i shut the door softly, before brushing my teeth and collapsing exhaustedly on the bed, nodding off quickly.

the next day, i woke at 4am, and put on new clothes, apparating to the phone box and filling out paperwork for the missions yesterday.

i joined hermione quickly, handing her a cappucino and sipping my mocha.

"court sitting this early?" she asked me.

i nodded, "mistake of sirius black, now they do all court sittings within 24 hours of arrest."

"that's smart."

"yeah. it's good. he's obviously guilty right? just a dust of veritaserum to bring it all out?"

"i reckon he'll just confess."

"criminals don't go down easily."

"you guys did a spotting job. the children were unharmed."

"are they here today?"

"they're in st mungo's. being monitored."

"parents?"

"dead."

"oh gosh, those poor children. what's going to happen to them?"

"someone's adopting them, wally becker and his wife."

"that's awesome."

the court hushed as we entered the room. hermione and i shared amused glances and began the sitting.

he was found to be guilty and was chucked in azkaban.

"what an idiot, sending a message like that."

"yup," i chuckled, "what with hepole in our ministry, they never escape."

we laughed.

"how's everything with ron?" i asked her.

"i don't know if he's still into me?"

i almost laugh at her statement, "bro. of course he is."

"i never see him."

"then see him more!"

"how? i'm so busy!"

"busy enough for ron?" we both took sandwiches from the canteen lady with courteous smiles and words.

we sat down at the cafeteria.

"i guess not, but he's busy!"

"busy enough for you?"

"i guess not."

"'xactly."

"but he might not wanna go on a date."

"why? the boy's obsessed with you, 'mione!"

the aurors and ministry workers looked at us in fear as i rose up. i chuckled.

i immediately skipped over to the telephone, putting in the WWW's number.

"y/n! what on earth are you doing?" hermione said in a panicked tone.

"nothing to be worried 'bout."

"hello?" it was george. i thanked the heavens for that.

"yolo george, give the phone to your lil bro please."

"'kay."

hermione was gaping at me. i smirked at her.

"y/n?"

"hey ron, i want you to meet me in rosemary park at 5pm today."

"o-okay."

"could you also bring hermione's favourite snacks and wear an extra jumper?"

"what? why?"

"i'm curious, that's all," i said, "see you there!"

"is that y/n?" i heard fred's voice.

"nup, it isn't," i replied.

and with that, i hung up.

"hey 'mione?"

she was glaring at me, "what."

"meet me at rosemary park at 5pm?" i batted my eyelashes at her, before bursting out in laughter.

she laughed, "i love you."

"pfft, love ya too. you really are too careful. like he would reject you."

"what do you think i should wear?"

"let's go off work early today, at 3," i suggested, "we're both on top of our work anyway."

"okay! you wanna go now?"

"it's 11?"

"yeah!"

"alrighty! kalle!"

kalle turned to us, "yes?"

"hi! me and minister are going out to talk about the mission."

"alright, bye."

we apparate to hogsmeade.

"what theme do you wanna go for?"

"hmm," she thought for a second, "floral!"

"alrighty!" i fumbled for my cell phone and dialled the WWW's again.

"hello?" it was fred this time.

"heyo freddie," i said to him like nothing had ever happened, "tell ron to dress up at 5 pm in something cute but not too out there, preferably in florals or somethin', and he better bring me hermione's favourite flowers."

"wha? if he's going with you then- ohhhh."

"thanks, bye."

"wait!"

"mhm?"

"can we talk?"

"erm- about what exactly?"

"everything."

i sighed, "later, okay? i'm out with hermione and you've got work."

"okay. have a good time, lovely."

"you too."

i was utterly confused. here he was one day kissing pretoria, and now he was calling me lovely?

what the hell was going on?

"let's go, mione!"

we went and bought her a pretty pink dress with white lilies adorning it. it was cute and definitely casual, sort of like a sundress.

"what if he doesn't come?" hermione chewed on her lip.

"hermione jean granger, we both know that ron is absolutely definitely a thousand times head over heels in love with you. he wouldn't ditch you for the world! and look at you! anyone can see he's lucky to have you! you both are star-crossed. when has he ever ever ditched you?"

"with lav brown."

"lavender, she's, she's dead, hermione," i said carefully, "fenrir greyback bit her to death. it was a tragic, heroic, death. she was listed in the extended casualties sent to my office a few months after the battle. i think she's watching down on us from wherever she is up there."

"she's dead?"

"yeah," i replied sadly, "life is so short."

"yeah."

"what i'm tryna say, is that that might've happened, but it won't happen again now that he knows you love him and he loves you. understand?"

"yeah."

"and love him well, for the sake of lavender brown."

"for the sake of lavender brown," she said, smiling.

"yup, now, light lord. his name is actually pont knight."

"pont knight?"

"former assistant of me."

"pont knight?"

"yeah, i know right."

"how did he go again?"

"oh, i fired him," i laughed.

"why?"

"smart guy but terribly lazy and he kept asking for promotions! like please do something if you want money."

"interesting."

"he moved to eastern europe to chase after the trendiness of the islands. i think it was just an excuse. he's changed. he used to be clean-shaven and have the blondest hair."

"do you think he did anything else?"

"we did put him on veritaserum, right?"

"yeah, but it's illegal to put someone on it for more than 10 minutes now in court sittings."

"we could go visit him in azkaban later? i'll take gregir."

"yeah, maybe tomorrow or the day after?"

i nodded, "'course. today is a rest day for the aurors right?"

she nodded, "yeah, half of the agency is at home or working out in the gym."

"good. sometimes this work is so tolling, 'mione."

"yeah, i heard from st mungo's you got hurt?" her eyes were concerned.

i rolled up my sleeve, "that's it."

"that's it? what do you mean, that's terrible! you need to take better care of yourself."

"well sometimes it's hard to. it was worth it."

we continued chatting until it was 4:30.

"oop!" she checked her watch, "i have to go!"

"good luck! tell me how it goes, minister! i'll head back to check if anyone's called for you or me and dust it all up."

"thanks. i owe you."

"nah. i owe my job to you. if minister for magic didn't exist, i wouldn't either. i love you 'mione, be safe!"

"love you too!"

i apparated to the phone box and typed my letters in.

with a whoosh, i immediately spotted two letters and a beeping phone. i answered the phone, solving the problem of the woman on the other end of the line and scribbled a reply to both of the letters.

i finished the paperwork and sent it off, then visited my office. it was piling with letters. i answered all of them, redirecting some of them to different departments, before calling everyone back.

i spotted some of the aurors from yesterday's mission sitting in the cafeteria and talking.

i sat down next to them, "how are you guys doing? any injuries?"

they shook their heads, "we've been spending time in the healer's office and just exercising lightly by the orders of johnny," argonas explained and i nodded.

"take it lightly, and go home if you want to. seeing family always helps the process, hopefully not too many nightmares?"

they laughed, "nightmares all the time, miss," hawk said lightly, "get used to it in this job."

i frowned, "have you tried speaking to doctor yvonne? she might have ways to solve nightmares."

"ahh, miss, sleeping draughts can only do so much," hawk replied cordially.

i laughed, "alright, hawkeye, but just make sure you're not getting traumatised okay? what about you, lopex, quentins?"

they shrugged.

"it's okay? the door was very hard to bust into," lopex said quietly, "we had to try several bombarding charms."

"now, lop, it was easy work!" draco said, sitting down, "hello, head auror, hello unit."

it brought on a cacophony of greetings.

"how are you doing, dray?" harry sat down next to him, "hi everyone!"

we all replied with more greetings and a steady conversation started and flowed for a couple of hours.

i felt my cell phone go off and i excused myself, noting it was 9pm already.

i apparated to the apartment doorstep, knocking on the door just in case anything was happening. i checked the caller id, it was hermione.

fred opened the door, hair messy, still good looking. i smiled at him, patting his shoulder as i ran to the ringing telephone and picked it up.

"y/n!" i could just hear the beam in hermione's voice.

"'mione! how did it go?"

"absolutely wonderful, head auror, ahhh, he's so cute!"

"what happened?" i asked, smiling already.

"well it was really cold when i saw the picnic blanket, which was matching my dress for some weird reason, and ron was there in the cutest button up and he looked so handsoME and he gave me a flower, he's always handsome but i just can't! ahhhh!" she squealed and i clapped my hands in excitement.

"and then i was shivering and he gave me hiS JUMPER and it smelled like him and oh my gosh i think i might just be in love, y/n!"

i giggled, "my cooling charm did work!"

"whaT y/n????"

cackling, i said, "continue, i wanna hear more this is so adorable!!!"

i ignored the dirty glance fred gave me, quietening my voice.

"and then we had food and he said he had cooked it himself and was being such a dear and i told him that i loved him over and over again!!!"

i squealed silently again.

"and, and, gosh my english has gone out of the window!"

"english is nothing compared to the language of love!!" i giggled.

"we watched the sunset whilst cuddling, and i fell asleep and then when i woke up i was in his bed and he was looking at me intently and i just, i'm the luckiest girl alive!"

"you are but you deserve it! that's so sweet! i'm happy for you goshhh, you are the cutest couple. you're both such darlings!"

"and then we watched a muggle movie and he got scared of the spiders and it was so adorable ahhhhHHHH!!!"

"that's the cutesttttt," i gushed.

another dirty look from fred. i gave him a frown back.

"and then he walked me home and it started raining and we kissed in the rain and another check off of my bucketlist and oh my gosh he's so perfect."

"oh gosh that's beautiful," i was smiling uncontrollably.

"anyway," her tone changed into one of mischief, "wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about it?"

"sure thing! when and where? i'll be there!"

"erm, lemme chec- think," i heard the suspicious rustling of papers.

"you're sus. let's just talk about it over the phone. i don't want anything weird."

"how about 10 am in the morning at the field of fireflies?"

"that's a highly romantic place, miss minister. isn't it for couples or something?"

"no? you must be talking about fiona farm."

oh. "yeah, probs, well okay, it better have good coffee. i'm dying of boredom too, does it have a playground??" i asked, hopefully crossing my fingers.

"nope."

"awww, shucks, i don't think i'll go then. you wanna come over though?"

"no please come! there's a surprise!"

i was sold, "lovely. i'll be there at 9:30!"

"no, no, don't do that."

"what the hell, hermione, you're being so suspicious!"

"i'm not, okay? just come on time, you won't regret it."

"if there's any funny business i'm not committing arson ever again."

"oh crap."

i sighed.

"just come anyway!!! good night cheerio!!!"

"what the-"

the line ended.

i frowned, noticing the glare fred gave me yet again.

"is everything okay??" i asked him.

"no," he said rudely.

"well, do you need any help?"

"no."

"how was your day?"

"fine."

i sighed, "okay."

"you called ron cute."

i laughed lightly, "that's it?? and so what's kissing a girl huh, nothing? i called him cute because he treats 'mione like a goddess, because she is a goddess, for goodness sake. and he is cute, in a completely objective way," i added absentmindedly, "all you weasleys are."

he frowned.

"she kissed me!"

"oh i don't mind, i couldn't. my two braincells can't handle it. you kiss whoever you wanna, okay? live, laugh, love, and all that." i smiled.

he was silent.

"and we can talk after i meet up with hermione, okay?"

"okay."

"we don't needa if you don't wanna, of course. g'night."

"have a nice sleep."

the next morning, i got up and went to the field of fireflies or whatever.

it was a beautiful place. it was a full on field. meadows stretched across the near english countryside. the sky was clear and light, and the world around me was stunning.

winds blew from all directions, and i soon found myself accio!ing a jumper.

"hermioneeee???" i called, "you're leaving me hanging."

had hermione stood me up? i chuckled at the very thought, soon rolling in the field of flowers as i laughed.

"hermione you devil you stood me up! you left your poor little work wife hanging!" i shouted dramatically.

i suddenly spotted a little house? by the side of the meadow.

i ran towards it.

"whoa."

it was absolutely magnificent. beige little bricks were stacked on top of each other, grey bricks dotted in. the shillings were dark green, and plants hung out everywhere in the cracks of the house.

large windows which reflected the blue light in the sky spanned across the whole house, and a single wooden door stood ajar.

i just wish i had brought a camera. i sat on the grass, playing with the hem of my jumper sadly. even hermione didn't have time for me. i wondered what a sad person i must seem like.

"contemplating life there?" i heard a far off voice. i swung my head around, seeing fred standing and grinning.

yeah well duh i was, no thanks to you, i thought.

i immediately got up.

"we can talk here, right?" fred asked, as he brought me into the house.

"wow," inside, it was cluttered and messy, with plants sprouting everywhere and bookcases and things everywhere. i loved it.

"you like it?" he asked.

"love it."

"good, because i bought it," he laughed at my flabbergasted expression, "i'm rich, darlin'. let's sit, i cooked lunch."

"was this your plan? to have hermione stand me up?" i asked.

"love, i wouldn't call this a plan. simply just a boy trying to explain himself."

"look i don't need an explanation. i told you, you can love whoever you wanna, i don't mind, i don't care, i support."

"but i'm gonna have to explain because i wanna kiss you."

"then go ahead," i sighed, "if you're lying i will stab you."

"jeesh okay."

i looked at him.

"oh yeah, i forgot the food, here," he said casually, handing me a plate filled with yummy looking delicacies. i was willing to put up with his rubbish story telling for the food, i guess.

"alright, i'm all ears."

"okay. so she talked with you right?"

i nodded.

"did she take a piece of hair from you?”

i nodded again.

"so you came home just right about when the night lights flicker on in london. or so i thought it was you. it was actually, aphrodite, yeah? in polyjuice potion. and she knocked on the door, which i thought was strange. i opened it and she immediately kissed me, as you. and it was weird but it was you and i would give the world to kiss you like that," he said bluntly and i could feel my face heating up, "and then it went like that for a few seconds and she turned into pretoria, and by then the woman had her claws on me. then the door opened and i knew i had made a mistake and then you left and apologised so sweetly. i'm so so sorry, my love, please, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to do anything. i broke up with her last year. i haven't wanted to be with her since. i want to be with you."

i looked at him. i knew he was genuine.

"okay. i'm sorry too, for not trusting you. i guess i was just really unsure of our relationship. it's still kinda blurry."

"what do you wanna be?"

"could we be official, please?"

he grinned, "of course."

then smiling sheepishly, he added, "can i kiss you now?"

"only if i'm the only girl you kiss from now on," i teased, smiling.

he blushed, placing my hands over his heart. it was beating very very fast.

"feel that, beautiful?"

i nodded.

"only you."

he gave me a cheesy grin and laughed at my blushing face, before tilting my head upwards and going in for a kiss but kissing my cheek.

"that's not fair!"

and that's how his head ended up falling into my lap, as i ran my fingers through his ginger strands.

he had fallen asleep just as the sunset began.

it was breathtaking. hues of orange and red danced across the sky.

"i can think of something a lot more beautiful than that," fred said, smiling.

"oh?"

"yeah. yeah."

"i don't believe you."

"that's because you can't see yourself right now."

146 notes · View notes

kimhargreeves · 3 years ago

Text

Teach Me- Christian Lorenz x Reader

Summary: You've been friends with the men from Rammstein, throughout the years you've gotten closer to them but haven't been successful with the guy who you've known for years, Christian also known as Flake. One day you ask him how to play the piano and he teaches you more than that. (Warning: Smut)

(Decided to write my own one shot cause there's a huge lack of Rammstein fics, like why?! I've been dying to read more but no one will write. Flake is underrated so I decided to write about him. Richard will be the next one.)

Today has been an extremely rainy day. Rammstein had to cancel one of their concerts here in Berlin, so that meant they had a free day, to relax and do whatever they want. I was excited for today since I'm the one who sells their merchandise at concerts, but I could tell the boys were bummed about today.

They wanted to play today and give the fans a memorable show. The fans love them and so do they but the boys so need a day or two to relax every now and then.

"It's fucking raining outside so much." Till said looking through the window and cursing more in German.

"It's not to bad, I like the rain and so does (Y/N)." Richard came to sit next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

Richard had always been a flirt to me, but he did it for a reason because he knew who I've always had a crush on. "Quit picking on her, Kruspe

"You're too overprotective of her sometimes." Paul said and Christoph nodded.

"She's like a second daughter to him." Oliver muttered to his band mates.

"I am not! Well, are you all hungry or not?! (Y/N), has let us stay in her apartment until we confirm when the show will start again."

Till and all of the guys were going to leave to being some lunch. We were planning on developing another music video and we're still trying to figure it out. "Okay, well be careful." I said grabbing my notes and sitting back down by the table.

"Flake!" Richard shouted. We each looked back and saw him laying on my couch with a book covering his face.

"He's dead."

"Nah, he just feel asleep..I think."

"Let's leave him then. (Y/N), make sure he doesn't burn the house down." Till said shutting the door close.

I chuckled when I heard them shrieking and running away to cover themselves by the rain. "Finally, they're gone." I heard him say from the couch.

I turn around and see him lifting the book he was once entranced by. "I thought you were asleep." I raise an eyebrow at him and saw him adjusting his glasses back on his face.

"I didn't feel like going out, I'm tired and want to rest."

I smile to myself and fought the urge to laugh. "You look like a crazy person, what are you thinking about?" Christian as I like to call him, asked me in a serious manner.

"Remember when I used to annoy you all the time? All you wanted was to be on your own or be in a quiet place."

Christian let's out a small chuckle and remembers it as well. "You were such an annoyance when little, you still are."

I threw him my pencil I had in hand and laughed, he's lucky he's wearing glasses. Back then when I was a child, my parents were mostly working so they knew Chris's family, he wanted money for a piano so they made him work. And that work was to take care of me, I was about 10 and he was 15 at the time.

I made his life a living hell back then. "I couldn't help it, you were the only friend who stuck around."

"I didn't really considered you as a friend." He blankly says back while reading something in his book. I pout and ignore what he said.

"Anyway if we hadn't remained close then I wouldn't be here working for the band. If I recall, I was the one who insisted on you joining Rammstein since you were unsure."

I blush and remember the many times we spent together. He was older than me but I always liked having him around, he was always so distant from everyone but me, well sometimes.

"We've been through a lot together." Heh I also remember the many times I used to dye his hair and he'd be afraid of me since I accidently almost left him blind.

I gather my notes and tried to come up with a scenario matching the lyrics. Being creative was a big thing for the band, I'm lucky that I work with them but many times it's hard. Their lyrics and mostly their videos are controversial which made some people send us hate messages.

Till did say to keep things controversial and true to what the band stands for. I sigh loudly and got up from my place on the table and sat down by the piano.

"I can't seem to get inspired..who did you say is directing this video?" I ask without looking back and reading the sheet of note in front of me.

"Jonas Åkerlund. He's already directed a previous music video."

I place my hands on the keyboard and began to badly play the notes. "That sounds horrible."

"Hey! I'm doing my best, I'm not an expert like you. If you're so proud of yourself why don't you show me how to play." I suggest and stood quiet since I knew I asked him many times to teach me but he'd always refuse.

I nearly jumped up when I felt him behind me and Christian placed his hands on mine. "These are the correct notes." By this point I was no longer paying attention to the notes, but on him. I felt like a school girl again and felt my face turning red at how close I am to him.

"You spent an entire year in music class and never learned how to play piano properly." He sighs and now sat next to me.

"Your teacher was different than mine, yours was talented and mine would always fall asleep in his own class. The poor guy was in his seventies."

"Now watch how I play it." Christian was certainly an expert on it, he'd always be the best at playing the keyboard on stage.

I listened to the beautiful melody coming out of the piano and remained silent. "Speaking of highschool, I remember you used to flirt with many boys..and girls." I notice a small blush appear on his pale cheeks.

"I-I didn't flirt with everyone, besides it was to grab someone's attention. You see he was older than me and he never seemed into me so I gave up."

That was the truth. I made it seem like I was interested in in some people to try and make him jealous, but he never showed any signs of that or liking me back. So, I stopped flirting with him too and tried to focus on school back then.

I knew he didn't want to go out with someone younger than him at the time, so like always he remained to himself. It kinda hurt when I saw the rest of the guys of Rammstein later on, getting married and having kids. Everyone has kids now expect for me, maybe I am destined to be alone.

I glanced back and saw him tense up. He knows that I am talking about him, but he remained playing the piano. "Now, okay those right there and try to keep up with me." He said staring straight at the notes. So, I did as he told and we began to play piano together.

Of course I missed a few notes but he didn't mind it, that's what I also love about him. He's always been patient with me, always stood behind so I could catch up with him.

"I don't want you to get upset, but this video we're about to shoot is going to be...different." he cleared his throat and that made me stop playing.

"I know most of you are into bdsm." I waved it off and smiled. "It'll be like the last time, with you in dog collars? Or maybe-"

"It's something different..I don't think you being behind the scenes will be appropriate." He slowly said.

"We're adults, I'm sure I can handle it."

He hummed disapprovingly and stopped playing. "Okay, I'm sure you will." He turned to me and smiled. I lightly gasped when I felt his hand on my cheek and saw his dark eyes through his thick framed glasses.

"You haven't been paying attention again." He rolled his eyes but kept a smile on his face. "You haven't changed one bit. How about I teach you something else? Something that's going to be in the music video" Christian seemed uncomfortable in his seat for a sexind.

Before I could respond he quickly stood up and stood behind me now and held my both hands and placed them back on the keyboards. "Lightly press your finger here and this one over there." He gently held my hands and made them hit the correct notes.

Without noticing it I was playing correctly without help, but his hands were now gone. I gasped and felt a tingle in my stomach when I felt him kissing the back of my neck and his hands playing with my chest and cupping my breasts. I was now regretting not wearing that jacket. No! this is what I always wanted.

I blush and took a shaky breath when I pulled my hands back and felt one of his hands under my shirt and the other parting my legs and teasing my entrance through my underwear. I moaned when I felt his fingers rubbing my entrance starting to get me wet, I tightly grabbed his wrist to try and push him away but the pleasure was too much. No wonder why his fingers are so talented.

"Schau wie nass du bist, meine liebe." Christian whispered in my ear and he slowly inserted another finger inside of me and started pushing them in and out in a fast pace.

He made me stand up and pushed the seat away with his boots and pulled me closer to him. One of his arms tightly held my waist from behind while this other hand was playing with me. I cried out and was close to my release when he pulled his fingers out and began to undress me instead.

One of his hands was on my neck and it remained there when he pushed me on the bed, we made it to my small bedroom. I moaned and closed my eyes when he began to play and lick my nipples until his other hand came and played with the other one. I reached down and began to unbutton his tight jeans but when I was about to pull them down he grabbed both of my wrists and began to tie them up.

He began to undress himself and got rid of the leather jacket he had been wearing and threw it over by the corner. My eyes wandered down his bare toned chest, sure he wasn't as strong as the rest of the guys but he was perfect to me. He continued pinning me down to the bed and only in his boxers made my body tingle.

I laid down on the soft cotton sheets of the bed making sure to do as he told me to. He watched me and gave me a shy smile and began to kneel between my legs.

"Wie wäre es, wenn ich diese Muschi ficke?" He parted my legs and pulled my closer to him. I squeezed my eyes shut and moaned loudly when I felt his hot tongue.

He did the opposite of how innocent I thought he was and starts to move his tongue in and out, his nose bumping into my clit making me moan. With my hands bound together I grab his hair tight, he lets out a small moan and continues to eat me out. I cry out and lay my head back when he continues to lick me until I moaned his name and came hard.

Christian gives one last long lick leaving me to cry when he slowly pulls away and cleans his hand below the sheets. I slump back and giggle when I saw that he had still been wearing his glasses, he moves up the bed now, kissing my neck again with a sly grin on his face and finally kisses my lips and I feel him untying my wrists which were now red.

I move my hand down and realized he'd gotten rid of his boxers. My hand begins to palm him. Christian parts my legs once more and stands between them, my mouth falls open when he inserts himself in me and begins with a steady pace. "Please harder." I beg and as soon as I said that there was no going back.

He rested his hands on my hips and roughly began to slam into me. The bed begins rock a bit and I feel tears sliding down across my face from the intense please I was feeling. Christian quickly hooked my legs over his shoulders and slammed into me, making , me scream out his name louder. He thrusted into me mercilessly; his thrusts were hard and fast, he was going deeper then anyone had ever gone and I could feel the knot in my stomach threating to snap.

“Fuck your so tight, it feels so good,” Christian groaned as he buried his head in the crook of my neck, kissing the skin sloppily.

With a few more thrusts, my orgasm took over my body without warning. I screamed out Chris’ name along with some line of profanities that escaped from my lips

“Fuck Y/N,” Christian cried out as made a stop and sloppily thrusted into me again and came moments later.

After a few seconds Christian collapsed on top of me rode, both of our bodies, panting, and sweating.

“I have been waiting so long to do that." Christian shyly stated, now laying next to me. "I did always find your little crush on me adorable." He says smiling and brushing my hair away from my face.

"I'm so happy you finally feel the same." I happily wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on him and began to close my eyes.

#rammstein #rammstein x reader #christian lorenz #flake lorenz #christian lorenz x reader #rammstein x reader lemon #german rock #till lindemann

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qianinterprises · 4 years ago

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WayV Reaction: finding out their S/O has Borderline Personality Disorder

Pairing(s): WayV x Reader Genre: angst, fluff Warnings: mention of mental health, depression, anxiety, symptom's included in BPD. Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, hostility, mention's of self-harm, self-doubt, low self-image Word Count: 3.9k

Author's Notes: I'll be honest and say that I had to research Borderline Personality Disorder. I knew what it was/had heard of it before, but in order to write something accurate, I tried to educate myself. If you believe that you have BPD, please don't be afraid to go to a doctor or a trusted friend/family member. Your mental health is important.

Author's Note 2.0: I also want to mention that (as per earlier request), I am also working on a YangYang fic that features a reader with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not entirely sure when it will be posted (soon hopefully), but it is in my WIP's.

Author's Note 2.0: Kun's is a little different, I apologize for the difference and the shortness. Tagging:@treasuretaeil

Kun:

Kun was in the middle of dance practice when his phone began to ring. At first, he let it go to voicemail, but by the third ring, Ten paused the music and Kun grabbed his phone out of his coat pocket, expecting to see your name popping up on the screen. You were at home today after a particularly rough week at work that had left you feeling spent. Kun longed to be home with you, holding you tight in his embrace. As his eyes met your next door neighbor's name on his phone screen, his stomach dropped. Mrs. Huang only called when it was really serious. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver. "Oh thank goodness!" she cried, voice laced with anxiety enducing agitation. "What's wrong?" "It's (y/n)! They've brought me five big tins of muffins! I can't possibly eat all of these! And they've gone to the store twice with ingredients! I think something's wrong! Kun sighed. This morning, you had been so happy. You were practically singing to the birds. He knew it wouldn't last though, especially with the week you'd had. "I'll be there soon!" Kun left practice without another word and when he got home, he found you in the kitchen, covered in flour, vigorously mixing a creamy liquid in one of your metal mixing bowls. The kitchen was covered in ingredients; flour puffed on the counters and floor, broken egg shells on the table, a half empty measuring cup of milk teetering on top of the fridge. It was bad this time. Kun knew you had borderline personality disorder. It had been something you'd told him in the beginnings of your relationship. He had seen you at your worst, and at your best, but it still broke his heart every time he witnessed you at a breaking point. "(y/n)?" You paused in your vigorous mixing, eyes glancing up to meet his. He didn't say anything, eyes locked on yours, but his eyes held no pity. Instead, they held pure, unfiltered love that had you putting the whisk aside. "Do you love me?" you whispered. A small wisp of a smile reflected across his face as he crossed the room, arms wrapping around your body. "More than anything," he whispered.

Ten:

You and Ten had only been together for a short amount of time; three months to be exact. It was an exhilarating three months. Time you wouldn't give for anything in the world, even though you didn't get to see each other often with Ten's very busy schedule. However, after the "Kick Back" album released, WayV was allowed to take a break as SM turned their attention to the scheduled release of NCT Dream's first album. Normally, Ten would then be whisked away for some SuperM promotion, but with Baekhyun's enlistment, SuperM was also allowed to take a break as the company decided what to do. Which ultimately meant you got to spend more time with your boyfriend, which, most would deem as a good thing and, you were happy he was there, however, it became a lot harder to hide your little secret from him. Your best friend, Kun, had introduced you to Ten (and the rest of the members), when Kun officially became a member of NCT. Kun and Ten had immediately hit it off as friends, which meant you also spent a lot of time with Ten, thus leading to a blossoming friendship and later attraction. So Ten lying in your bed snoring softly wasn't that far of a stretch from a common day encounter. The difference was, today, you didn't feel like yourself. Being in a friendship with Ten meant that, yes, you saw him often, but not often enough that you couldn't keep parts of yourself private. Which is exactly what you did, especially as your tiny crush on Ten grew into something mutual, eventually leading to a relationship. The truth you were so afraid of revealing was your disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder. A disorder you'd been diagnosed with since you were a your teenager. You'd been teased and bullied for it when a classmate you'd once called a friend announced your disorder to the entire school. This, in turn, had terrified you of ever telling anyone, which you had gotten away with. Ten didn't know and, if you had it your way, he'd never know. He was an idol. What did he need with a girlfriend with this disorder. However, with him hanging around a lot... "Hey? What's wrong?" Ten's voice snapped you from your thoughts. You'd been so distracted you hadn't realized his soft snoring had ceased. "Nothing," you said softly. His lips pursed, perplexed as he softly reached a hand up to brush across your cheek, something he'd done several times. But today, you didn't want it. You shied away from his hand, curling yourself up on the opposite side of the bed, cursing yourself for acting different than usual, but you couldn't help it. Ten didn't bat an eye. He simply gave you a soft smile and sat up in the large bed, but he didn't try to touch you again. "Feeling sad today?" he asked. You nodded meekly. "Would you like to talk about it?" he asked. You paused for a moment to think it over. You truly didn't. You wished you could keep it a secret forever, because Ten might leave you. But you also knew that the stress was taking it's toll on you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." you whispered. He didn't say anything at first and you were preparing yourself for him to call you a freak and leave. Instead, he stretched his arm out and softly wrapped his pinky around yours. "I don't know much about it. But I promise I will learn," he whispered. Tears brimmed your eyes because finally, someone wasn't going to leave you.

WinWin:

You had never been much of a touchy person. Holding hands was one thing, and even then, something you weren't wholly comfortable with, but hugging was completely different. You didn't care much for hugs, especially from complete strangers that often found you rude for rejecting their hug. You barely even hugged your own family, let alone a total stranger. This was possibly what spurred on your relationship with Sicheng who, also didn't care much for physical affection, despite the fact the other members of NCT practically drowned him in it. Your relationship was just... different. At least in the minds of society because you didn't cuddle against Sicheng's chest constantly or plop down on his lap just because he was sitting down. Instead, you preferred wrapping your pinky around his or draping one of his sweaters over your shoulders. This worked for the two of you though others found it strange. However, there was an anomaly that Sicheng, though you had been together for a little over two years, had no idea about. This anomaly included the fact that sometimes, you liked hugs. Sometimes, all you wanted to do was drape yourself over your boyfriends lap and let him hold you until your mind screamed at you for the overload of affection. Sometimes you wanted him to wrap his arms around you in bed and fall asleep with you on his chest. That's what happens when you have Borderline Personality Disorder, and it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if Sicheng had known, but he didn't. It started out you longing to keep it a secret in the early days of your relationship. It wasn't something you advertised very often. However, as your relationship progressed, you knew you should have told him, but as five months turned into six, it became a crushing weight of guilt for not telling him in the beginning. Sicheng had already invested a lot of time and love in the relationship when you had not been wholly honest with him. And the more time that passed, the harder it was for you to get the words out. At this point, it wasn't even your fear of rejection because of the disorder, it was a nagging fear that your dishonesty about the disorder would drive him away from you. That would truly be a crushing point. However, as Sicheng began spending more nights at your apartment, it was getting increasingly harder to hide, especially as your mood dropped or when you suddenly began to crave affection. Times like today. The moment you'd rolled out of bed, you knew you needed some type of affection, but as Sicheng made no advance to give it to you throughout the day, your mood dropped. It really wasn't his fault. He had no idea how you were feeling, but as you finally had had enough and wrapped your arms around him from behind while he was washing the dishes after dinner, you felt him stiffen before grabbing a towel to dry his hands. "What's up with you today?" The question was an honest one, but it still felt as though you were making him uncomfortable by touching him. As your arms slacked from around him, a tear sprang to your eye but you were quick to wipe it away as he turned to face you. "I need to tell you something..." Your voice was wavering. You had no idea how he would respond. He nodded for you to continue, one of his hands gently taking hold of yours, playing with your fingers as a soft sense of relief washed through you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder." His once blank face morphed into one of confusion. "What's that?" he asked tentatively. You sighed. You had been expecting the question but that didn't make it any easier to define. "Its like having mood swings. One day I feel happy the other sad... Sometimes anti-hugs, sometimes super affectionate." You could tell he was still confused, but as he nodded and wrapped his arms around your body, drawing you against his tall frame, you let out a shuddered breath, body relaxing against him.

Lucas:

Books were never Yukhei's strong suit. He preferred numbers and basic information plotted out clearly in front of him. Books were too all over the place with too much information. He wished they could be like websites that gave him the briefest of explanations with a "read more" feature. Yet here he was, flipping through slightly crinkled pages because he wanted to truly understand, and books were always credited with having the most information. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder," you had explained earlier that day when you had ducked out of the way of one of his mega bear hugs and proceeded to slump your shoulders and beg him to give you time alone. You'd locked yourself in your shared bedroom after that and, although you had texted him to apologize for your behavior, you added that today was just an off day, your disorder really affecting your mood. "Well how can I help?" he had asked. It was your response that prompted him here, pouring over books in the local library hoping to find anything that would help him understand Borderline Personality Disorder in the best way possible. As he flipped through pages and learned, he had begun to feel several different emotions. On one end, he felt sorry that you'd had to go through the disorder alone, but on the other, he questioned why you'd never told him, even after a year of being together. However, a big part of him wondered if maybe you had been telling him, just without words, especially because you'd never tried to hide any of your mood swings. He'd just always assumed you were on your period. As the hours ticked away, Yukhei's eyes remained glued to the startlingly dry books stacked up around him, but as he learned more about the disorder and, by default, more about you, he couldn't seem to stop. At least not until his phone vibrated in his pocket and, as he fished it out, your smiling face met his eyes. He answered the facetime request and gave you a tired smile that quickly morphed into concern when he noticed your bloodshot eyes. "Baby? What's wrong? Did something happen?" "My boyfriend left me! That's what happened!" Were you... pouting? "I didn't leave baby, I'm at the library." Confusion flashed across your face. "Why?" "To learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder." A giggle erupted from your lips and Yukhei sure was glad to hear it, especially after reading texts about BPD leading to depression. "Why didn't you just google it?" His mouth gaped open as he dramatically clutched his chest. "Googling something so important in my significant other's life?! That's scandalous! I should do enough research to write my own 20-page essay!" This time, it was a full blown laugh. "You're a dork!" "I'm your dork!" "Well come home, dork! There's a lot we have to discuss!" Your smiling face alleviated any fears that may have been swirling around Yukhei's chest. With a nod, he slammed a book shut so hard it send a loud, slamming bang throughout the library, prompting nasty looks sent his way. Sheepishly, he waved them off and stood up. "I'll be home soon," he promised, blowing you a kiss before hanging up. Yukhei had taken the hastily thrown news a lot better than you'd expected. You knew he couldn't have learned everything, specifically because it varied person to person, but you knew that he would be there for you, even on your bad days. And that was all you could ask for.

Xiaojun:

Dejun was incredibly perceptive, even if he was incredibly dumb sometimes. He could tell when you weren't quite feeling yourself, even though he often didn't know what was causing it. It was at those times that he did everything he could to put a smile back on your face and make you feel "normal" again. He didn't understand how counter productive that actually was. It was really your fault. You were the one keeping secrets, but as the smile fell from your face the second Dejun traded the couch for the shower, you couldn't help but think that maybe he simply preferred you to be happy rather than deal with you when you weren't. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew he was just doing what he thought would help, but now, especially in your state of mind, you couldn't shake the aching feeling in your head. "Hey, are there towels- are you crying?" Dejun's voice yanked you out of your thoughts and you brought your hands to your cheeks, rapidly trying to wipe away the clear droplets painting your face, but it was too late. Dejun had already seen. He was shirtless when he perched on the couch beside you, face etched in concern. He opened his mouth, likely to retort off some lame dad joke or tell you some funny story you'd heard a thousand times. "Can you not?" You hadn't meant to snap. The words had simply flown out before you'd had the chance to them. His face fell into a pout that you knew you often fell for, but today, it only upset you more. "Stop Dejun!" The pout fell away. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything!" "You're trying to make me smile!" He blinked, staring at you for a moment. "That's a bad thing?!" You sighed, slumping against the couch cushions, resigning yourself to the fact that he didn't understand. Then again, you didn't let him understand. "Just tell me why I'm upsetting you," he begged, all traces of bad humor gone, replaced with sincerity. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder! My mood fluctuates! And when you try to make me smile when I'm sad or mad makes me feel like you don't like me when I'm not always happy. But I can't always be happy." He stared at you in shock for a moment, mouth opening and closing as if he didn't know how to respond. An appropriate response, you supposed. You'd been friends for a while now and dating for several months, yet this was the first time you'd told him. You were about to get up from the couch, sighing as he didn't respond after several minutes, when he placed a hand on your thigh to stop you. "Why didn't you tell me?" You shrugged. It wasn't that simple. "Can you tell me the best ways to comfort you?" Again, you shrugged. A sigh released from his mouth and your head hung low. "I'm going to do some research. As your boyfriend, I want to make sure I'm making you feel better, not worse. So, while I'm doing that, I also need you to tell me if something I'm doing is making you feel worse. Can you do that for me?" His words were sincere, his intentions true. Another tear fell from your eye, dropping against your cheek, but a smile broke out across your face. "Thank you for caring," you whispered. He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of your neck. "Always."

Hendery:

Waking up this morning had been such a struggle, even as the delightful scent of your boyfriends cooking wafted under the cracks of the door, greeting you. Usually, this would rouse you from your slumber, prompting you to creep into the kitchen and sneak a taste of the delightful breakfast. Today, however, you rolled over in the blankets and pulled the duvet over your head. Today was a lay in bed day, you just hoped your boyfriend would accept that. "Come on sleepy head! It's time to wake up!" Kunhang's annoyingly chipper voice spouted, pulling you from the confines of sleep in a less pleasant way. "No," you groaned, rolling over, burying your face deeper into the pillow. "Come on! Breakfast is ready!" He pulled the blankets off your body and you let out a loud hiss, eyes turning to bore into him. "I said no!" He dropped the blanket and backed off, lifting his hands in surrender, but you could tell he had questions. You never acted like this. "What's wrong?" You grunted, not responding, turning away from him, but he wasn't having it. "Yah! I asked you a question!" he pouted at being ignored. A growl whipped it's way from your throat. "Go look up BPD," you snapped. You could tell that he had more questions, but, after a long moment, he seemed to think better of asking them and, instead, made his way out of the room, leaving you to fall back asleep. It had to have been a few hours later when you were waking up on your own this time, the anger you had felt earlier completely gone now, replaced with your normal, chipper self. You turned over to look at Kunhang's side, releasing he wasn't there and the memories came flooding back to you along with a strong wave of guilt. You shouldn't have treated Kunhang the way you did. There was nothing out of the ordinary with the way he'd reacted to your sleeping for. With a sigh, you threw your legs over the side of the bed and stood up, padding over the floors to the door. You made your way out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding Kunhang sitting on the couch, television with the volume turned down, playing some movie he didn't look too interested in. As the floor creaked slightly under your feet, his attention shifted from the television to you and he was quick to shut off the device. "How are you feeling?" he asked. Your heart dropped into your stomach. Had you really affected him? "I'm sorry for how I reacted..." you mumbled. A sigh rolled past his lips as he patted the couch next to him. You made your way to him, flopping beside him, but keeping your distance, at least until he pulled you against his side. "I understand why you did after looking up Borderinel Personality Disorder," he said. "But you couldn't have expected me to know without knowing." With a nod, you hung your head. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew I had a disorder..." you mumbled. Saying it out loud, it felt ridiculous. You knew he loved you. The fact that he waited for you to wake up even after how you'd treated him proved that. But it had been a fear nevertheless. "Now that I know, I can help you rather than making things worse. But in the future, please let me know. I hated watching you so upset without knowing how to help." You leaned against him, burying your face in his chest as you nodded.

YangYang:

(full fic coming soon) YangYang's youth was what truly scared you the most. He still had so much to learn. He was so naive, about some things at least. He could make you feel so good, so loved, when he'd hold you in his arms and kiss your head or when he threw himself across your lap and begged to be pet. You were scared that the second he knew the truth about you, he'd leave, or worse, treat you differently. Your older brother, Kun, had advised you to just be honest with him. To let him know when you had bad days. Yet, here you were, hiding out in your brothers bed, hoping practice would run late so YangYang wouldn't see your crestfallen face. It seemed luck wasn't on your side that day, not entirely anyway, because the door to the room opened and Kun walked in half shirtless, belt unbuckled. "Please don't strip anymore," you'd begged. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin at your words. "(y/n)?! What are you doing here?!" "I missed Yang..." "So why didn't you come to practice? You know you're welcome." Your silence was his answer and he sighed, sliding on another, not sweat-soaked shirt, and sat on the bed beside you, reaching out to gently stroke your arm. "You really should tell him," he whispered. "But what if he rejects me?" "He won't. Sis, I know him. He's not like some dirtbags you've dated in the past. And he might just be able to help you better than I can," he whispered. You knew he was right. He was always right (as annoying as it was). "Will you send him here? I don't want to get out of bed..." "Of course," he said, patting your arm one more time before getting out of bed and making his way out of the room. It was a few minutes later when a sweaty YangYang walked in, searching for your figure before sitting down beside you on Kun's bed. "You wanted to see me?" he asked. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." The words just rushed out before you could stop them, but you were thankful. This saved you from yourself. For a long moment, YangYang didn't say anything and you were beginning to think Kun had been wrong for once. "So that's why Kun had me do all that research..." Ok, that definitely wasn't what you were expecting. "Not long after we started dating, Kun made me do all this research on BPD. He even quizzed me once a week! I just assumed it was punishment for dating his sister!" A loud laugh fell past your lips. That was absolutely something Kun would do!

"Are you mad I didn't tell you?" you asked.

"Well, why didn't you?"

"I was afraid you'd leave me like my exes..."

"Then yes, I'm mad!" he said.

Your face dropped.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll just have to teach you a lesson!"

With that, he threw himself on top of you, pressing his sweaty clothes against you as you shrieked, attempting to get away.

"Guys... not on my bed..."

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years ago

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Sam Winchester: Out of the closet

Pride Collection 2021 June 5th

Pairing: AU! Sam W. x Sister!Reader

Pov: Y/n

Warnings: Coming out, support from a family member. Mentions of Dean and John.

Summary: Finally feeling comfortable you tell Sam your biggest secret, but you think NO you know he can handle it seeing as he is your big brother.

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N- Bisexual, @firefly-graphics for the bisexual dividers Supposed to be posted on the 5th of June, but was unfortunately postponed to the 6th of June

Sam Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Pride Collection Master List 2021

Today is the day that I'm going to tell Sam my most important secret.

I've had this secret for years now. It started my last year in high school, and with Sam being the older brother is, when he left for college he took me with him.

Anyways, He got me set up in an apartment, he came and visited me every other day. Going to class, and just being normal was nice, and it lasted for a while.

There was a party for the seniors that year. I toyed with the idea of dressing up and going out or just stayin' home and studying. I was very much Sammy when it came to my schooling. Something that I'd just learned from him over the years.

I just made a choice deciding that one night of partying wouldn't hurt me or my schooling. So I dressed up in a short red dress, black flats, and the only thing I had taken with me before leaving Dean and John.

Slipping into a black jacket that was a size too big, but smelled like my older brother Dean. I grabbed my keys and left. I had never gone to a party if you don't include the father-daughter dance that John half-ass took me to the Sam ended up having to save me from. Or the random school dances that I had.

Showing up to this party everyone's eyes were on me. It was a weird sensation to be stared at but in a sorta good way. In a way that made me wonder.

Very quickly I had a few guys surrounding me, their actions were pointless as I ignored them, and I left them to discuss between themselves. One good thing that John has taught me was not to take shit from anyone, I think he forgot that also meant him.

But regardless of that, I went to go see if I could find a few friends. I was met with a beautiful woman, her long legs covered in jeans with thigh-laced-up boots and a relieving t-shirt.

It didn't click then, or later on when I was tapped on the shoulder by a taller version of the woman. He had short blonde hair, dressed like every other jock, but the immediate feeling, sense I got from him was nothing but lust.

Now it's been seven years, seven years for me to try out things with many different people, and figuring myself out along the way. I've come to the conclusion that I don't just like the men that serve me coffee in the morning, or the women that I do yoga with.

Sam's older now, just by a year his beautiful wife and his kids, live in a small starter home at the end of our quiet town. Sam's wife has always taken a liking to me. And their kiddos call me Auntie.

It all around a great part of my life to be around my family. To be around so much love and admiration for each other. But the fear of saying the truth, the fear of telling my older brother makes me worry.

Makes me worry that I'll spill the truth on a silver platter and be told I'm not worthy of that love and admiration that I crave to have, that I enjoy seeing.

Sometimes it floats around, I can see even if it for just a brief moment. I can it flutter around Sam's kids, or him and his wife the way they share just a longing happy look for each other.

"I hate to bother you two live birds, but I was wondering if I could take the kiddos out for ice cream?" I ask Sammy, he smiles and says "Sure just be careful. Love ya." I gather their two kids up and well chase each other to my car.

In moments like this, I sometimes wish I already had kids. I also wish that their uncle and grandfather could be here to see them grow and flourish into strong men and strong women.

But regardless, we listen and sing along to a special playlist that we made together. Just a thing for the three of us to enjoy. "Auntie, play our songs please!"

Sam's youngest says her politeness reminds me of him. "Yeah, Auntie you gotta play our songs and sing along with us this time!" Sams oldest screams, he looks like Sam, but in reality, has the personality and swagger of Sam's wife.

We make it to our favorite ice cream place. They always get the same things, no matter the time of the season. "You two outta try something different," I say to them, they give me a look of 'How dare you to tell me to get something different.' I giggle, and we walk out to the shop.

Getting the kiddos back, and in bed was a task. They gave their kisses to me, and then to Sam. Their mother takes them to bed, so nows it's just my brother and me. "Good night pumpkins, Auntie loves you," I say Watching the two of them holding their hands and walk down the hallway.

There's no better time to tell him.

"Hey, are you okay Y/n?" Sam asks an almost empty beer in his hand. He's sitting across from me at the dinner table. I'm in my own thoughts, I'm brought back when I feel Sam's socked foot hit the bottom of my foot.

"Yeah, you could say that I'm okay," I say back, I'm starting to worry about what he might say, maybe I shouldn't say anything.

"Look, I'm your older brother, I know when somethin' is bothering you," Sam says with a hopeful look. I frown, I might as well say the truth, that's something that Sam and I promised each other when we left Dean and John.

"Nothing is bothering me, Sammy, I just need to say something to you and I don't know how to phrase it." He puts his beer down and get's up grabbing my hand and taking me outside.

He'd always done this with me when we were younger. Dragging me to the open yard, he plopped down to the grass and drug me with him. He'd tell me when I was young, to look up in the sky and feel the earth below me. To let go of worries, and be calm be thoughtful.

"Sam, what are we doing out here? We aren't kids anymore." I said closing my eyes. "Y/n just please, do this for me. Maybe you'll figure out a way to phrase your thoughts." He said

I thought as he told me to do. It was nice to feel everything around me and not so much worry about things. "Are you better now Y/n?" Sam asked, I opened my eyes and smiled.

"A little yeah," I said, I might as well just say it, let it be in the open. Regardless of what Sam may think, or even say I'm just going to go for it. That's at least one major thing, Sammy, as taught me over the years.

"Sammy.. I've thought long and hard about telling you and even saying this out loud, but I'm bisexual," I said getting up and looking at my older brother.

He'd yet to give me a reaction, no change in his facial expression, no words yet spoken. It was just quiet, the weird unsettling silence, that gives me anxiety. Makes me worry that the sweet moment between a brother and his sister will forever be lost, that I'll never get to see my nephew and niece again.

But before I know it I'm encased in Sam's overbearing arms, he's hugging me tightly, reassuring me that he loves me, tell me that he proud of me. Everything thought that I had was wrong. He's my brother, after all, he knows me better than anyone.

"Can I ask a question, peanut?" He said, using a nickname he'd used many years ago. We were still hugging, I hummed. "Am I the first person you've officially told?" Sam asked.

I thought a minute, my partners that I'd been with hadn't really known, so yeah Sam was the first to know. "Yeah, I think you are Sammy," I said holding on tight to his hug.

"I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm always here for you peanut. Why don't you and I go out for the weekend tomorrow? Spend some quality time together?!" He asked. I smiled and hummed.

There was nothing better than being excepted and loved. Not only that but it also felt like a thousand-pound rock had been lifted from my shoulders by telling Sam.

Completed on: 06/05/2021

Posted on: 06/06/2021

Tag List: @sweetdetectivequeen @wonderfulworldofwinchester @hobby27 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo

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femme-xx-fatale · 4 years ago

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Just Hold Me For Now

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, depression, attempted suicide, poor body image, and swearing.

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: I haven't published any fanfics in literally years, but I've really been inspired to start writing again lately, so constructive criticism is welcome but please be kind!! I'm still quite rusty haha <33 Also, I would love to take writing requests :))

Also, my intention is not to romanticize depression, self harm, etc., I have genuinely tried to write this is a way that doesn't glorify any of that, but having gone through a similar experience, this was very healing to write.

You were standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, tears dripping down your cheeks as you examined your reflection in the glass. You were wearing a pair of black, Nike shorts that stopped at your upper thighs, and an oversized, grey tee shirt that had definitely belonged to your boyfriend at one point. Your hair was thrown up into a messy bun, and your skin felt especially clean and soft, mainly due to the fact that you had just finished a long shower.

One detail about you, however, stood out from the rest. Long, deep scars covered some parts of your body, and god did you hate them. The way they looked running up your arms and thighs like steps on a ladder disgusted you, and brought old feelings of shame and regret up to the surface once again. How could anyone even love you?

The scars were old, you hadn't cut yourself for a few months now. It had been long enough, in fact, that though they had once seemed forever red and angry, they were now turning white with age. That didn't change the fact that they were horrible reminders of dark times, reminders you couldn't possibly get rid of.

As you looked at those dreadful scars, you remembered vividly the day that your boyfriend, Peter Parker, had demanded that you never hurt yourself again. You had been sitting in a bed at the hospital, with Peter crying and begging you to never hurt yourself again as he held you close to him. He had held you so tightly it seemed to you that he was afraid of you slipping away forever, even if the worst had already been avoided. The night before you had landed in the sterile hospital room, he had found you passed out in this very room, in a puddle of your own blood. The blood stains on the carpet came out, but it still hurt to look at the carpet, knowing where you were that night. Before then, he hadn't known you struggled with self-harm, and he was stunned at the news. He was terrified to loose the love of his life. He almost did, honestly. If he had taken even a few minutes longer to find you, then you would've slipped away forever. But he was really your superhero, and he saved you that night.

He had always told you that night would never leave his memory. You guessed that finding you like that, not even knowing you were unhappy, must've been horrible for him, and a pang of guilt hit you in the chest. You definitely weren't thinking about cutting again now, but the sight of the irreversible scars was depressing, and the embarrassment and shame of it all definitely wasn't going away anytime soon. Even though some of your close friends and family knew about your trip to the hospital, and must've assumed you had scars, you still always wore long sleeves and pants in front of them. Even with Tom you felt shy having him be able to see them, but you tried not to worry too much about it with him. Sometimes, you couldn't help getting eaten up with insecurity over it, though.

As you tried to calm all of the insecurities within your mind, your crying slowed, leaving you looking slightly disheveled due to your outburst of tears. You slowly felt the raised lines on your left arm, your fingertips being overly delicate, because you remembered exactly how much they used to hurt.

Suddenly, you heard the sound of your bedroom window being swung open, breaking through your thoughts, Instinctively, you reached for a hoodie that was crumpled up in the chair next to you. Unfortunately, you weren't quick enough, and the person entered the room before you could hide your arms.

"Y/N?" Peter asked awkwardly, somehow sensing that this was possibly a bad time. He'd gotten into the habit of coming in through your bedroom window, as your parents didn't exactly enjoy the idea of your boyfriend spending late nights with you.

Before you could even speak, his eyes drifted towards your uncovered arms, so you crossed them awkwardly across your chest. "Shit, Peter! You scared me!" You yelled, kicking him lightly on the shin with your foot.

"I didn't mean to scare you..." he mumbled awkwardly, eyes still glued to your forearms, but eventually traveling up to your face. You knew he noticed you'd been crying. How could he not, with your tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes? He hesitated for a minute before saying anything, but eventually pointed out the obvious.

"Were you crying?" He asked, and you sighed, knowing he wouldn't let you lie your way out of this one.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Peter, you'll be surprised to hear this, but actually, its none of your business," you replied sassily, catching a glimpse of your red eyes and tear stained cheeks in the mirror as you spoke.

"Drop the attitude, I'm only trying to help, Y/N," He reminded you, not unkindly, but seriously. "Let me be here for you, please baby."

"I'm just upset," you relented after a few seconds of silence, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand.

"As if I hadn't guessed that," Peter replied, rolling his eyes a little. "Let me see your arms a minute." The second he said that, you crossed your arms around yourself even more tightly.

"Well, they're right here," you muttered.

"Can you cooperate and actually hold them out for me so I don't have to make you?" He asked, even though you knew full well that if your answer was 'no', he would leave it at that. Even though he didn't always act like it, he did respect you completely. Normally, you loved his persistence and sassy attitude, but today, it was much less appreciated. You hesitated a moment before finally holding them out to him. He grabbed your hands up in his bigger, stronger ones carefully, rubbing his thumbs gently over the nearest scars, close to your wrist bone.

"Y/N..." He trailed off, and you thought you caught him tearing up. "You know I love you so much, right baby?" You felt yourself tearing up again.

It didn't take long for you to end up wrapped up in his arms, your legs around his waist as he held you close to his chest.

"How can you stand me?" You whispered after a few moments of quiet that only the crickets and soft breeze outside your window interrupted. You said it so quietly, that you didn't know if Peter had even heard you.

"What do you mean, babygirl?" he asked quietly, genuinely confused. You buried your face further into the crook of his neck before responding.

"I don't know... I just... You know so many pretty girls, but here I am. My scars are so ugly, they make me so ugly," you said, fighting back sobs the loud sobs that begged to be released from your throat. Tears were flowing freely from your cheeks, though.

"What? Y/N! You're like the prettiest girl I know," he said, not quite sure exactly what to say, but knowing he loved you and thought you were absolutely beautiful. "Listen babe, I mean it. You're so pretty and your scars don't make me see you any differently!! Like you're gorgeous and beautiful and just so damn pretty babe, like I don't even know how I pulled you-" You shushed Peter, cutting him off, but now you were smiling through your tears. You were feeling much better than you had before, and thanked him.

"I love you too baby," you smiled, kissing him gently.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel angst #tom holland #tom holland x reader

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a-mended-pact · 3 years ago

Text

Unsteady Keys : Chapter one

💬 Authors notes: here's to my first ever chaptered fanfic debut! Feel free to interact and ask questions! 💌

Series Masterlist

✒Word count: 1,486

Part 2

Part 3

Spencer and I have been married for 3 years now. Which means I knew all the tests and trails Catherine Adam's had put him through. I started at the Bau shortly after cases with her started piling up. I watched him crumble while trying to put himself back together again with Max after prison.

We had been friends for quite some time. Connecting over our knowledge and love for literature and the fact that out of everyone that worked on the team I knew what it was like to have someone older than you need to be taken care of by you. Having people in my family that have the same conditions as his mother. Brought us closer together. To say I understood was an understatement.

Max left him because of everything that happened between Cat Adams and her family. She could never seem to let it go. As if it were solely his fault for what happened to them. I suppose in a way it was. I couldn't blame her for wanting a way out. Those two tried to make it work for months and months of failed attempts and meaningless dates. That just ended up in fights and arguments because Max could never truly forgive nor could she truly forget.

Once those two finally went their separate ways Spencer had been very standoffish to every female in his life that wasn't his mother or a team member. Who could blame him?

I suppose that's where I come in? Well more frequently into his life rather than just at colleague and an occasional friend.

Soon enough one thing led to another and we hit it off amazingly. We married within less than a year of dating.

======

Standing there watching him interact with Cat made my blood boil not out of jealousy, definitely not. It was boiling because we hadn't gotten anywhere yet on finding the whereabouts of her latest plaything.The poor creature was more than likely just a puppet on strings. A means to an end. She was trying to prolong her execution date. I'm sure of it.

How she still managed to be such a pain in the ass for us was beyond me.

If it wasn't for the speaker on the wall. I wouldn't have known anything they said to one another. The thought of that drove me insane. I knew that Spencer had to play into her game more than the rest of us. The only problem was I'm not sure how much he was truly playing. The attraction he showed her was more than he had ever really shown anyone else. Which meant I was left questioning whether or not I truly was as important to him as he was to me.

----------------

‘Cat, we don’t have time for your games. You’ve lost control over your accomplice, just admit it!’ My hands slammed hard against the cold metal table. We didn’t have time for this. If we weren’t careful another person was going to go missing along with another body being dropped. Whoever she had working for her had clearly gone off the original script. Cat knew how to act confident and not give much away. Having dealt with her so long though I could tell she was losing it. She didn’t like not being in control. Control was everything to her.

‘Spencie, don’t go bursting a blood vessel now. It’s only a game after all.’ her voice was flirty and condescending. It made me nauseous just thinking about how badly her words made me want to break her and put her in her place. The bottom of the food chain.

“Oh Spencie baby, have I worked you up? Did I hurt someone you care about again?” She let out a child-like laugh. I felt my skin crawl in response. I knew my wife was on the other side of the double sided glass. I knew she could see everything, hear everything. That still didn’t stop me from falling right into what Cat wanted from me. Aren’t I supposed to be a genius?

I moved myself closer to her, sitting myself on the table with both my legs on either side of her.

‘I’ve been such a bad girl, Spencie.’ chewing on her lip looking up at me. I swear I saw stars. I love my wife I swear I do but something about Cat Adams got me blindingly turned on. All I wanted to do was grab her by her head and make her gag on me in this exact position. That would be a way to make her stop being so mouthy. I had to find her alluring or else getting information from her wouldn’t work. Right? That’s what I've been telling myself all these years anyway.

‘Are you going to give me any valuable information? If not, I am leaving.’ The aggression in my voice didn’t go unnoticed by her. A smirk forming on her lips. She looked me up and down. ‘Careful Spenice wouldn’t want your wife to know how turned on you are by me.’ She ran her cuffed hands up my thighs until she caressed me through my slacks. I could do nothing but watch her. Eventually like a moth drawn to a flame I touched her. Smacking her hand away. Probably hard enough to make the cuffs dig into her skin. I glared at her. I honestly didn’t know what else to do. I was stunned into silence.

I stormed out of the room. Rage fueling my every step.

‘Oh Doc did I hit a nerve? Don’t worry there is plenty more where that came from!’ I heard her shout once I had closed the door. I turned to see if my wife was still there. She wasn’t.

‘Shit!’ I shouted, running my hands through my hair. How could I have let Cat become my puppeteer so easily?

I glanced up at her through the glass. It was like she was looking directly at me.

‘Don’t worry, you know you haven’t seen the last of me’ She winked.

-------------------

I couldn’t do it anymore. The moment I saw him move that close to her. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was doing. Logically I knew he was just playing into the game. Why did it bother me so much? He was my husband but why did I feel like he really just belonged to her. I had to get out of here. I needed some fresh air.

When I made it to the parking lot I could finally feel the air enter my lungs. I could feel myself calming down. My blood was no longer boiling and I couldn't hear my heart beating in my ears anymore.

That feeling of relief wouldn’t last long though. Spencer had to have been looking for me by now. He could probably tell that he wasn’t going to get anymore answers from her as much as I could. So why did he continue to try?

I started walking towards my car. Spencer had left home to be at work early today. Knowing we will be dealing with Cat. I sighed I just needed to get as far away from him right now as humanly possible. To be honest I was uncomfortable with how close he had gotten to her. He had never lied to me about how he was in fact attracted to her. He told me when we were just friends. That for some ungodly reason he himself couldn’t figure out.

I knew Spencer Reid loved me. He had a special way he looked at me that made me believe him. He told me every day. He’d randomly blurt it out when we were alone together like he couldn’t hold it in. I thought it was cute and enduring how he always viewed each day with me as a new day to flood me with his ‘I love yous.’ today though I hadn't heard a single one from him.

I slammed my car door and started the car. I sat there messaging Emily to let her know I was heading home and that I wasn’t feeling well. The words on my phone screen began to blur. I started feeling nauseous along with my vision becoming foggy. I could barely make out Spencer jogging to my car when I felt my world begin to spin. That’s when I noticed the strange smell that was coming out of my ac vents. I quickly started to panic trying to open my car door. It was jammed. I started banging against the window. It wouldn’t break. I even tried turning off my car but it wouldn’t even do that. Every time I did. Something would turn it back on. Spencer never made it to me. Not before I lost consciousness. The last thing I remember hearing before my vision went fully black were the sound of screeching tires.

Taglist!

@sassymoon @rainsong01 @onlyhereforthefanfics

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #Unsteady Keys #Yuki's babbles #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer x y/n

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mimisempai · 3 years ago

Text

I am here to ask you something special

Summary:

Sam wants to do things the right way. He visits an old friend to talk about his relationship with Bucky and ask for his blessing

5 times where Sam asks old Steve for his blessing and one time where he realizes he never needed it.

Notes:

Many people talk about Steve as if he were dead, but I imagine him living a peaceful life in a cottage with his sweetheart. Sam and Bucky still in contact with him, one way or another.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32006143

2265 words - Rating G

Sam hesitated a bit before reaching for the small gate that led to the entrance of a small cottage surrounded by trees.

When he decided to open it, a voice said, "I thought you wouldn't come in."

Sam looked up and his gaze went to the source of the voice.

He moved forward a little, and hidden behind a flowering bush, he saw Steve, a book in his hand, sitting in a rocking chair.

"Sam, it's so good to see you! " he said with a smile that not even the years had been able to change.

He got up quietly and came over to meet Sam.

"Steve, you look great."

"No need to spare me, you can add I look great for my age. Come on in. So what brings you here my friend? We... uh I don't get many visitors, so I'm a little surprised."

Sam, who had noticed the slip of the tongue, didn't insist and followed him into a small, pleasantly arranged living room. They took seats in two armchairs.

"So Sam? How are you? How is it carrying the shield?"

"I'm fine, and as you know yourself, not always easy. But I think I'm doing okay."

Steve smiled softly and said, "You are, and I never doubted it, though I hear you don't care what Steve Rogers wants." he winked.

"I see Bucky couldn't help but open his mouth."

Steve chuckled, "He even made a point of saying it to my face, full of arrogance with his stubborn tone, 'You know what Steve, Sam's right, we don't care what you want.' and you were right. I'm glad you found your way, although as Bucky explained to me, we had no right to ask you to do something like that without knowing the consequences. I owe you an apology too Sam."

Sam, touched, didn't immediately know what to say. It moved him more than he thought to hear Steve's apology and the fact that apparently Bucky had defended him so passionately. It further confirmed why he had come to see his old friend today.

"So Sam, you still haven't told me, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Sam fidgeted a little, he had thought it would be a formality, but now that he was here he realized it was harder than he had anticipated.

"Um...so here goes...you know Bucky and I are together...-" he began in a hesitant tone.

He was interrupted by a burst of laughter from Steve.

"I think I was the first to know. It was super early in the morning and I remember us...I was having breakfast when I got this facetime call from Bucky, talking all excited about a cookout, about 'Uncle Bucky' and in the midst of all this information, I managed to figure out that you two were a couple."

Steve looked at him with a fond smile.

Sam remembered what Steve was talking about like it was yesterday.

They had held a cookout on the harbor, and Bucky had come with a cake. Sam remembered how his nephews, family and friends welcomed him as if he were family. The way Bucky's face lit up when he saw Sam.

He especially remembered the end of the day, they were side by side in front of the lake and Sam had turned to Bucky and just said, "let's go home."

He had seen several emotions run over Bucky's face, shock, surprise, realization and finally a nameless joy.

He had whispered in a voice clouded with emotion, "Yes, let's go home."

And they had gone home, Sam's arm around Bucky's shoulders.

There had been no passionate kiss, no grand declarations in that moment, but like Bucky, Sam considered that from that day forward they were together.

"Sam?"

Steve's voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Yes, excuse me."

"No worries Sam, believe me I understand you."

Sam coughed, then resumed, "Yeah, so I was saying, Bucky and I are together and things are going pretty well and-"

"According to Bucky, things are going more than pretty well." replied Steve with a cheeky smile. "He told me about the two of you taking a house together. If that's the case, then things are going better than well between you, right?" Steve asked him playfully.

It was true that, contrary to what the beginning of their relationship suggested, everything went smoothly.After fighting with each other and Sam choosing to become Captain America, they realized that the most important thing for them was to talk and listen to each other, and this allowed them to deflect most of the conflicts that would arise. Sam had learned to lean on Bucky and Bucky had learned to listen to Sam, and the balance between them was natural.

So living together had been a very obvious step.

He still remembered Bucky's joy when he had taken him in front of their new house, surprising him. But what had moved both men the most was the sign nailed to the door, obviously made by children's hands. It read: " Sam, Bucky and Alpine's house. "

The cohabitation was really going smoothly, it was easy to live with Bucky. They had adapted well to each other.

Sam smiled fondly, thinking back on all the little things that made up their daily routine.

Bucky was caring and Sam hadn't expected that. Bucky recorded every detail about him, all his quirks, his likes, everything-

"Sam? I lost you again."

You're going to think I'm an idiot by now," Sam replied with an embarrassed chuckle as he scratched the back of his head.

"I actually find it kind of refreshing, it's been so long for me, but I remember the thrill of the early months." said Steve with an understanding look.

"With her?" asked Sam, pointing to the wedding ring with his chin.

"Sort of." replied Steve with a mysterious smile.

"Always so evasive my friend." teased Sam.

"And so?" asked Steve.

"I see..." Sam didn't insist, "So I was saying, we're together and it's going very well. Bucky's even adjusted very well to Delacroix."

"Yes it seems to me he told me about working on a boat with your sister I believe?" asked Steve, looking interested.

"When he first came to Delacroix, he had brought me my new armor, and he stayed to help me repair the boat of our family business that Sarah, my sister, runs. And when he moved here permanently, he offered to help on his own. He fit in perfectly and the people of Delacroix respect him."

Sam thought of Carlos, who kept singing Bucky's praises. Bucky had taken a liking to the old man and often Sam would find them sharing a beer on the boat deck when he returned from a mission.

"You know Sam, it doesn't surprise me, Buck has always been a friendly and helpful guy. I'm glad to know that he's been able to get back to some semblance of a normal life despite the years Hydra took from him.I'm glad to know that he knows something other than fighting."

Sam saw emotion pass over Steve's face.

Of course he had seen that Bucky was fully acclimated to life in Delacroix and he was not unhappy about that. He knew that if he needed him, the White Wolf would be there in a heartbeat and ready to help, but he was glad to know that he had a life outside the battlefield.

"Yeah, sometimes I feel like he's lived in Delacroix longer than I have, and I was born there so that's saying something. So, yes, we live happily together in Delacroix, and he's kind of part of the family."

Steve chuckled, "Haha yes, Uncle Bucky. I really wish I could have seen his face when he was called that."

"You would have seen mine," Sam retorted, "I was the most surprised."

"Pleasantly surprised I hope." asked Steve, with a slight frown, gauging Sam.

"Yes yes, don't get on your high horse, Steve the mother hen. My nephews don't have much of a male presence in their lives except for me, that's why they adopted Bucky immediately, and needless to say, the reverse is true. Besides, he's become a legend among the younger generation, you understand, the bionic arm and all, even my wings can't compete."

Steve laughs as he imagines Bucky surrounded by kids.

"Wait, let me show you!"

Sam picked up his phone and after a few seconds, he showed Steve the screen.

The older man couldn't hold back a small tear at the picture of Bucky lifting children with his arm, while others laughed around him. But what touched him the most was Bucky's own laughter.

As Sam put his cell phone back in his pocket, Steve wiped away his tears as he apologized, "Well, that's just the way it is, as we get older we get more emotional, and to see my best friend this happy, makes me incredibly pleased, thank you for showing me this Sam."

"You're welcome."

Sam cleared his throat before continuing, "So here's the thing Steve, I came today, because Bucky is an extremely important person, hell he's the most important person in my life. I never thought I would find someone who knows me and understands me so well and who I don't have to be strong with all the time.I told you he's part of my family, but I would like him to be part of it in a more official way, and since you're all the family he has left as I know he thinks of you as his brother, although sometimes you act more like his mother, so I-"

Steve, laughing at Sam's last sentence, interrupted him with a wave of his hand.

Once he calmed down, he began to speak, "Sam, I think I understand what you came for. And I want you to know that nothing makes me happier than to give you my blessing, but you didn't have to ask for it. From the first day Bucky told me about you two, you have had this blessing. You are an exceptional person, and I am extremely happy that my two best friends have found each other. Having found happiness with the person I love, I know how precious that is. Not everyone gets a second chance like we did... like I did. So be happy, both of you. You both deserve it."

He clasped Sam's hand and put his other hand over their joined hands, just like the day he had passed the shield to him.

Once again Sam's gaze was drawn to the ring on Steve's finger.

"You still don't want to tell me about her?" asked Sam.

Letting go of Sam's hand, Steve said simply, "No..." Steve paused for a moment before continuing, "This story belongs to him and me."

Sam abruptly raised his head, but seeing that Steve had resumed his mysterious air, he simply nodded.

"I understand. I'm glad you found happiness then."

He stood up and headed for the door, "Don't walk me out I know the way. Just wish me luck."

"You don't need luck. I'm sure he'll say yes." replied Steve with a wink.

"Goodbye Steve."

Then he closed the door behind him.

As he was about to open the gate, his phone vibrated.

He picked it up, there was a message, "On your left."

He looked over his left shoulder, and saw Steve in the darkness of the window, but he wasn't alone and had his arm around the shoulders of a familiar figure. Sam tried to make out the features of the smaller man, but couldn't. He simply smiled and went on his way.

**********

A few days later, at Delacroix, lying with his head in Bucky's lap, Sam watched him squirm to try to take a picture of his right hand with his phone.

He straightened up and asked, "What are you trying to do?"

"I want to send a picture to Steve, of this," Bucky said, waving the hand that had been sporting the engagement ring in front of Sam's nose.

Sam smiled with fondness, picked up the phone and took Bucky's hand. He captured a photo of their joined hands, the engagement ring in full view.

Then kissing Bucky's hand, he handed the phone back to him.

Bucky typed a few words and sent the message.

Several hundred miles from Delacroix, in a small cottage, reading, Steve picked up his phone, which had just vibrated.

On the screen were the words, "Buddy, you'll never guess who is going to tie himself down."

Followed by a photo of a hand adorned with what could only be an engagement ring, joined to another hand, undoubtedly Sam's.

"So that's it, Sam proposed?" said a voice behind Steve.

"And Bucky said yes." replied Steve as arms wrapped around him from behind and a kiss was placed on his head.

He set the phone down beside him and turned to put his hands around the waist of the man behind him.

He sighed softly in happiness as he said, "I hope they are as happy as we are Tony."

"I'm sure they will be, my love." the man whispered as he kissed his head again. Then he let go of him and came to sit next to Steve.

Tony leaned against Steve who put his arm around him.

Then Steve picked up his book and continued to read aloud, "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

__________

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

Quote at the end : Wind, Sand and Stars - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #stony #steve rogers #tony stark #tfatws #the avengers #marriage proposal #sort of #fluff #sambucky fic #stony fic

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