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obbystars · 4 months ago

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Safe Haven

Synopsis: It’s not like he minds if you use his hideout as a safe spot. Just be sure to leave at the earliest convenience before they get suspicious.

Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / just a bunch of scenarios / not exactly romantic lol / practicing third person in this one. you’re not named and only referred to as expendable. / reader repeated deaths, mentions of blood and teethmarks

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

(got some dialogue that triggered when you hide in Sebastian’s shop as an angler passes by. obviously that inspired me lol. and yes this was being made while the update came out, i finally got the stupid we outta wall dwellers badge because of it. also sebastian can win against pandemonium apparently)

Sebastian was just looking through some of the documents he’s received from some of the EXR-P teams. He only just recently moved his shop so he figured it should be quiet for a while, but just as he thought of that, the lights had flickered. Not once, but twice. It was then followed up by the sound of someone running and crawling through the vent. Just a single, and familiar expendable.

They only just managed to make it inside his shop before an angler dashed by with a loud shriek. It was gone in an instant.

“A second later and I would’ve had to start cleaning out that vent,” he smirked, “Welcome back, friend,”

“Hi!” They waved as they stood up.

The one who just can’t stay dead. Of course it’s them. He’s not sure if they’re just stupid to not have reached the crystal yet despite his reluctant assist, or they have some other reason he doesn’t know about. They seemed oddly happy to see him almost every time, and they love to annoy him.

Once he started resorting to shooting them for using their flash beacon on him, they suddenly stopped and only teased him with it. They like to leave and re-enter his shop too just for the fun of it. There were times where they came in and left without buying anything but then came back and bought something.

On the bright side, they keep their distance which he’s actually glad for. They never got too close for comfort. They stay relatively near the vent when they talk to him and only approach him to grab items off his tail. As for the other teams who went much further, he should’ve just shot them.

At this point, Sebastian’s thoughts and gaze drift off elsewhere. The radio still spewing garbage noise, the piles of documents on the desk, his tail feeling awfully lighter now.

Absence of shuffling and footsteps. They’re being awfully quiet.

His fins twitch and he turns his attention back to the expendable. They got the stuff they wanted, but they’re sitting by the boxes in the far corner. They’re tired. They look like they’re dozing. It’s nothing new with them, but considering their circumstances, he thinks he’d be just as exhausted as they are. Being sent down here, dying, and doing everything all over again until they get that crystal. He wonders how they haven’t gone insane yet, or maybe they already were and they stay down here for no apparent reason.

Now that Sebastian thinks about it, a lot of the teams see his shop as a breath of fresh air from the things they had to endure. Some didn’t stay too long, while others had to be ushered out. His shop isn’t 100% safe, and they certainly aren’t safe with him. Sure it keeps them out of sight from the anglers, but he swears one of them got dragged out of the vent by a wall dweller.

Sebastian lets out a sigh and decides to go back to looking over the documents, especially the ones you placed on the desk in a separate pile. He’ll go over the flash drives with Painter if time allows it. Maybe he’ll finally have something that’ll get Urbanshade’s rivals to come over and him out of here in exchange for the assets here. Innovation hopefully.

After some time, he sees that you’re still here and closes the document he was just reading through.

“Hey, stay any longer and Urbanshade might get suspicious that they’ve lost your signal. Better get running,”

They hummed and quickly stretched out their legs and arms. They were about to leave, but he blocks the exit with his tail and clears his throat.

“I think you’re forgetting something. On the table,”

“Oh,” they laughed, “Thanks,”

He moved his tail away to let them leave, and they did just that but now without saying bye. He sighs. He’ll never understand them and their odd behavior towards him.

Sebastian had already moved shop after a few hours and along the way, found a few bodies to loot. He even found them. He took any and all he could take with him and made sure they were all fully powered with fresh new batteries. He takes one final look at them. Looks like something caught them off guard, and seeing the teeth marks over their neck, he can guess what exactly it was. He wasn’t sure if they didn’t look back on purpose or not. Part of him does want to know why they haven’t gotten to the crystal yet.

It was strange though. Usually those things leave nothing behind, but maybe they just didn’t have the chance as someone else might’ve been with them. Maybe they crossed paths at some point and decided to continue on together. It was a rare occurrence, but not impossible. There’s only so many ways to get to the crystal, after all. Seeing as the power’s still up, that other person probably didn’t get too far.

Once he found a new place that seemed good, and one that would be in the path the EXR-P would take, he organized everything and put some items on his tail. He turns off his lure for the time being. It’s not like he absolutely needs it, especially in the dark. His eyes grew accustomed to it, quite literally too.

After a few hours, he can hear the door on the other side of the vent open. One thing he’s also picked up on is that he can tell whether it’s them or not if they’re not rushing through like last time. He already knows it’s them.

“Oh hey! Get this. I found your corpse a bit ago, great haul by the way, lots of goods to pillage, took your items, replaced the batteries and voila! Good as new! Don’t worry, you can have them back for a price of course,”

They smiled as they looked up at him, “I’ve got a good haul this time. Think I’ll have those stuff back now,”

Sebastian watches them pick up the items that were originally in their possession before they died. He already noticed the flash beacon on their belt.

He can faintly hear footsteps coming from outside followed up with something crawling through the vent. He assumed at first that they didn’t come alone this time, but upon seeing the armless figure emerge, he unholstered his shotgun and didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. The expendable almost jumped as they turned around.

“Disgusting things…”

“Oh wow, thanks for that,” they looked up at him.

“You’re seriously going to miss the fact there’s footsteps approaching again?” He gives them a smile, “Don’t worry, you’re safe in here with me. I’m joking, you’re not,”

They suddenly twirl the flash beacon in their hand and pointed it at him. He grits his teeth and points his gun to them this time.

“I dare you,”

They only laughed and stored it away on their belt, “Nah, I’ll pass. The first time was enough,”

Sebastian scoffed and holstered his gun. Before they left, they bought some batteries and refilled their flashlight and flash beacon and they remembered to pick up the key card this time. They even went out of their way to drag the wall dweller out of the shop and do god knows what with it. Hopefully dump it out into a hole or maybe even burn it. That just means less work for him.

Sebastian goes to grab the documents they left for him, but just as he did, the lights flickered and he hears them running back.

“Back so soon?” He teases.

They shrugged with a smile, but it quickly fades as the familiar sound of a broken chorus is heard. Instinctively, his hand reached for his gun as his tail covered the vent. They even moved back towards him.

This wasn’t the first time that thing passed by, and one of those times, he ran into it and managed to escape from it. No doubt that the others it consumed since then had healed the wounds he gave it, and right now, this is a bad spot to be fighting it in. It’s way too cramped and the only way out is up. It’s still narrow and doesn’t make the situation any better.

Luckily, the creature passes by without noticing. The expendable turns to him with a grin, “So. I’m not safe in here with you?”

“Not. At. All,” he points his gun to them, “I would’ve left you here if that thing saw us,”

They laughed, “Yup, I know,”

“You are shockingly okay with that, which is mildly concerning,”

“You’re not the first person to leave me behind to die, so…”

“Looks like somebody needs to find better friends,”

They shrugged and hung around the shop for a little bit longer, checking the things they just bought. Once they were done, they waved to him and leaves.

“Try not to ruin the merchandise, yeah?” He calls out.

Sebastian wonders if he’d find their body again when he moves shop again. Will it be an angler this time? Or will nothing be left to find? Now that’d be a waste. That blacklight you had could fetch him more data.

One good thing about being able to get to places Sebastian wouldn’t have originally is that he can move place to place without having to worry about Urbanshade’s guardsmen too much. The tunnels he found were always nice but navigation can be a little difficult if you don’t know where you’re going. He’s not too worried about that, however. As long as it leads him away from trouble, he’ll go with it.

Sebastian was about to drop down into the room just below until he spotted a familiar expendable crawl through the vent. He paused and watched them with a grin.

“Huh… He’s not here,” they looked around for a bit as they continued to mutter to themself, “Am I late or is he late?”

Slowly and quietly, Sebastian climbed down towards them. He was careful to not make any sound while he was at it, and he only hoped you didn’t look up. They were just within arm’s reach now. Sebastian slowly reaches out, then grabs them by the back of their neck and pulls them up to him. They let out a yelp and started squirming but stopped once they saw it was him.

“You REALLY suck at watching out for monsters, huh?”

They sighed, “Yeah yeah, you’re very funny Sebastian. Now put me down!”

“Oh sure,” instead of gently placing them back down, he dropped them from that height and they fell right on their bottom.

With the crystal container they were provided, it didn’t help cushion their fall at all. In fact, it may have made it worse. Sebastian drops down in front of them and chuckled as they groaned.

“Maybe be careful with what you wish for,”

“Ow…”

“Anyway, onto business,” he moves on, “I’ve got quite a selection for you this time,”

They push themself up, still slightly rubbing their bottom, and eventually turned to Sebastian. There was the usual light sources, black light included shockingly enough, a medkit, and… Huh.

They pointed to the flesh of a wall dweller’s jaw, “How much for that?”

Sebastian in turn gives them a very odd look, “Out of all the things I have available, you want THAT?”

“Hey, you put it on sale. Unless maybe you had an empty slot and the empty slot bothered you that much, so you put wall dweller flesh on your tail,”

He stares at them and groans, “500 worth of data,”

“Done deal,”

And the moment the expendable paid for it, they plopped it in their mouth. Sebastian feels as if they’re long gone at this point, though anyone stupid enough to actually accept to come down here probably already were.

Wait, that time where he shot the wall dweller… Don’t tell him…

He stopped thinking about it, “You’re so disgusting…”

“Helps me whenever that shark fries my brain a little. Or Painter manages to hit me,”

“What are you even talking about?”

They looked up at him with wide eyes, “Hm? Well, eating their flesh gives me a nice regeneration perk. Dying gets rid of it, obviously,”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah! You didn’t know? Shockingly, they taste a little like chicken,”

They did. They absolutely did.

“So… You’re telling me that eating a piece of them gives you, what? Regenerative abilities?”

They nodded, “Yup! It’s pretty convenient,”

“And that’s not in their document because…?” He muttered to himself this time.

“Who knows? Anyway, see you in my next life!”

Yeah, they’ve lost it. Definitely.

#🌑 // the moon provides #sebastian solace x reader #sebastian solace #roblox pressure sebastian #pressure roblox #roblox pressure #roblox #pressure #pressure sebastian #sebastian x reader

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rxzennia · 7 months ago

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selfish atonement

– requested.

✎𓂃 executing your duty perfectly, until it’s not so heavy anymore. less romance, a lot of lore. mandatory shoutout to @st4rrth0ughts and their bodyguard reader & oc. i really searched up oswaldo for this pls enjoy (i tried to cook but i might’ve burnt it y'all)

ever since oswaldo’s expedition on aeragan-epharshel, you’ve become certain of one thing – he is a brilliant businessman; the epitome of a profitable business. regardless of the mostly negative emotions you felt while you undertook missions under his orders, you could at least admit that he brought unparalleled results to the ipc.

but, well, it does not take a good man to make a good businessman.

this marks the third amber era after your departure from the marketing development department… no, your departure from the ipc as a whole. you’ve changed your name, got yourself a new appearance, and distanced yourself from oswaldo’s name.

you’ve since become a sellsword who answers only to your current client

you’ve chosen to not have your loyalty freely auctioned off to the wealthy precisely because of your history with oswaldo

aka, you’re done with the type of problems that can be solved with money, and you don’t want to be someone that can be easily bought with money, either

not in the sense that money won’t make you more likely to take a job, but in the sense that money won’t bribe you away from any ongoing duties

that’s enough about you and your standards

in any case, your history with the ipc (that you’ve manipulated a little) has been very helpful in landing you jobs

and at this point, you’ve got a nice word of mouth going on for you that you don’t need to bring up that history anymore

who would’ve thought that you’d end up in the ipc again?

this time as a temporary guard for one of the ten stonehearts

you don’t know what possessed someone like diamond to ask for you, because you’re pretty sure he knows about your previous involvement with the ipc

and also, what the fuck does the ten stonehearts need a bodyguard for?

you’d pay a million credits to bet that diamond just wanted someone to be surveillance

but hey, a client is a client, so you agree to meet the one you’re supposedly “protecting”

you walk into the room, and immediately you want to walk out. diamond is doing this on purpose, he’s gotta be, he’s got to have done a background check on you and still decided to choose violence.

you come face to face with aventurine, and you thank all the aeons out there that you’ve made the decision to wear a mask whenever you’re out. you don’t know if diamond had briefed him on you or not, but judging by how warily civil he is, it doesn’t seem so.

just so we’re clear, you were far too green to be directly involved when oswaldo launched his sigonia-iv project. while you did tag along on these trips and treaty signings, you have no personal involvement there except standing there like a statue and watching your superiors hammer out a treaty or something. unlike in aeragan-epharshel. where you were one of the combat pilots. oh, that’s another can of worms altogether.

at least he can’t see your expression right now as you shake hands

at least he doesn't hear your erratically beating heart

you introduce yourselves, and you bow out of habit

impression points +100 (your starting score is -10000)

that’s basically how you ended up involved with the ipc again

ugh, you just can’t leave them in the past, can you?

although, in your defense, they’re everywhere, and you can’t possibly turn down a job with such luxurious pay

so, now, instead of the marketing development department, you’re in the strategic investment department. diamond is also a good businessman, but… the ten stonehearts have such a weird dynamic. they’re all tangled together with office politics, yet share one authority figure that they ultimately obey – something you haven’t bothered to think about when you were last in the ipc. and something you won’t bother thinking about, because the mere thought of corporate makes you want to dig yourself into a hole.

in any case, your constant meddling in aventurine’s daily affairs begins today. he’s quite a guarded man, and you have no idea what diamond wants you to do by putting you next to him practically 24/7, but oh well, you’re getting paid.

you settle into a routine surprisingly quickly, and he doesn’t seem to mind your presence all that much

alarmed? yes. mildly annoyed that diamond put a walking tracker on him? also yes.

dislike your presence? kinda (not really).

at least he knows you won’t betray him for as long as your contract is in effect

even if you answer directly to diamond, you were tasked to watch over him

which means that you will execute your assigned duty to guard him and strictly only that duty

(truly, your reputation precedes you)

but what is worrying is how swiftly you can change sides the moment your contract expires

well, a problem for tomorrow. diamond’s got you leashed for a year.

he does run a background check on you himself

not that he doesn’t trust that diamond hadn’t vetted you, he just wants to know what sort of person he is now stuck with

guess who found out your name is probably fake but can’t find your real name

because he could only trace your name so far, and anything beyond that point is blank

the discoveries will shock you!! top 10 most scary facts you didn’t know

all he got was a full report from your first job to this one

anything about your past before your current alias is completely untraceable

not that he intends to ask anyway; you haven’t given him any reason to dig further (yet)

he keeps an eye out for you though

even if he’s not suspicious of you at the moment, that could change in the blink of an eye

aventurine is surprised at how loyal you are to him. you’re under diamond’s orders, but you’re surprisingly putting in a lot to protect him. and to look after him.

to you, it’s just your job… and a selfish, twisted sort of repentance. it’s a thought you intend to take with you to the grave.

you’re not obligated to wake him up or bring him breakfast, but you do anyway

which, he realizes that you must’ve woken up like at least two hours before him

you coordinate his schedule with his assistant so that he doesn’t make pointless trips to five different locations just to end up at the same one twice

you, quite literally, hover over him

yes, even at huge conferences, you’re tailing him like his shadow

some kinda scary dog privilege going on

but of course, you give him space whenever he requires it and keep him within your sights instead

so far so good

but you know what spooks him still?

that you get pissed when someone makes any nasty passing remark at him

no, you are not a feral street cat that scratches anyone who wrongs you (him)

what you do is you give them a scary confrontation

or you pick them out and lodge a complaint with their superiors afterwards, if they aren’t the top dog

one time he got his hands on a report that you’re writing

aeons, you blow it out of proportion without lying

you like to call it a suitable amount of embellishing

then you pull a lot of emotional appealing according to the opponents' company policy

which usually results in some sort of disciplinary action that is actually pretty satisfying to see

but also

damn, you’re merciless

and also very adept at business talk

trust +100, doubt +25

(shady mercenary for hire with far too much experience type doubt)

you’re as good of a bodyguard as aventurine can get, especially for someone he didn’t hire himself…

he quite likes you, actually! because how many people do you think asked him something like “why do you need a bodyguard” to his face? none! you’re as entertaining as they come.

and so he finds joy in his boring executive work by pestering you

you know that, but you put up with him

in fact, this guy is so one of a kind that you don’t even feel pestered

you sometimes even drink with him

whenever he offers, of course, because you’re not too interested in drinking

you drink moderately on the job, but c’mon, when are you not on the job

okay, maybe when he’s just chilling in his office or in the hotel and not going anywhere

then there’s competitive drinking where he tries to coax you into talking about yourself by making you down shots

and guess who’s wasted every time? not you

“mr aventurine?” you ask, nudging the unconscious man next to you. “sir? earth to mr aventurine? hello?”

his empty glass of whiskey on the table, his face slightly flushed as he snoozes away on the table… yeah, it does not look comfy at all.

you sigh, he’s giving you more work again, and you carefully hoist him from the table.

when he comes to again, he finds himself in his own room

his head hurts so much

he notices that he hasn’t changed from his usual attire – only his coat and accessories are taken off

okay, and the top button of his shirt is undone

did you bring him back?

as always, you don’t even bother to change him

he sighs, you’re really not very good at reading signs

because he’s done this multiple times! and he’s whined about not being changed after!

more like you did notice but you choose not to do what he wants

that’s crossing a line in your books

and your books is something you stick to like you’re obsessed

at least you left him water and hangover medicine on the nightstand

why does he feel like you’re deliberately keeping him at arm’s length?

it’s been a while and you two have spent so much time together, yet you’re still a stranger to him

not even acquaintances

like… like, you don’t initiate conversation when you’re watching him

both when he’s going somewhere (requires actual protecting) and chilling at home (does not require actual protecting)

and even after so many late night drinking sessions, he still hasn’t seen you without your mask

mainly because you’ve never been drunk enough for him to sneak a peek, but still

aventurine doesn’t know how to express affection. platonically, romantically, in general, pretty much. so he tries to do the one thing he does best, splurging. and he tries to splurge on you, because he’s intrigued and wants to make buy a friend, but…

but you don’t let him splurge on you! you don’t even let him give you gifts! he only knows how to win affection by spending money on others!

sometimes he feels like you stick too strictly to your duties

just like his other subordinates… you take orders far too well

he’s tried to give you trinkets, designer clothes, even limited snacks

all of which were returned to him within 24 hours

though, with the snacks, you take it if he offers you a piece or two when he’s already opened it

and you let him treat you to coffee occasionally. very occasionally.

he eventually figures out that it’s a matter of principles

but what principles, exactly? you’re a sellsword, for aeon’s sake

he thought those are the people who have absolutely no principles???

anyway, won’t stop him from trying

“mr aventurine…” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you see the bags stacked on your desk. “i remember telling you that souvenirs are unnecessary.”

“what’s wrong with them?” aventurine laments dramatically. “i’ve picked out only the finest for you!”

you don’t deserve it, you think, but you don’t say that, of course

you don’t even know of his lifelong grudge towards oswaldo

you just know that you had a hand in the extinction event

not like hand hand, but you watched it happen… it doesn’t sit well with you

besides, you have the blood of almost an entire civilization on your hands

if you think too hard about it, the image of flames and carnage overlap with what is in front of you

then, you envision the records of sigonia that you’ve read through in the past

and everything blurs together, your actions, your inaction, and your unwavering loyalty that led you to not raise a single question at all

you squeeze your eyes shut tightly and purge the images from your mind

you are currently here, in the present

“i can’t take them.” you reply, finally, shaking your head. “it’s inappropriate for our standing. especially since there’s no reason for you to be gifting me so many things out of nowhere.”

“what, i can’t be nice to my bodyguard?” aventurine pouts as he sorts the bags in height order. “i’ve got a limited edition tie, an antique phonograph, a discontinued mug, some rare natural color ink for your fountain pen, a pure cashmere sweater–”

“that’s… that’s enough, sir.” you raise a hand to cut him off. “i don’t think i can accept any of them, really.”

aventurine makes a face, then pulls out a bag from the end of the queue. “fine, fine. what about this, at least? assorted cookies from an artisan bakery, using only the best ingredients sourced from all over the cosmos?”

you stare at that bag as you feel the expectant stare from your boss

maybe… maybe one out of these dozens of bags is fine

you’ve gotta think about his feelings too, after you’ve rejected so many gifts

you reluctantly, carefully take the bag and say a small “thank you”

you don’t want his fascination with you to develop any more than what he’s already showing…

but you also know that it’s not up to you

so what is up to you is drawing a line that you won’t allow him to cross

for his sake, and for your own…

if he keeps pushing, you should keep pushing back

keyword should

but can you?

aeons, you truly are selfish

wouldn’t it have been better to keep everything professional from the very beginning?

it’s okay. you only have a little more than half a year to go before you’re no longer obligated to be here. you’ll run away before aventurine catches on, like how you ran away from your past.

it’s okay. it’s just been a few months, there’s still more than half a year’s worth of time. before you part ways, there are still chances to get to know you better. perhaps even time to become friends, in the most literal sense of the word.

and maybe by the end of it, “you” will reach a satisfactory conclusion.

#honkai star rail #aventurine #aventurine x reader #honkai star rail x reader #ares on demand

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tenroses07 · 6 months ago

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My final thoughts on the neil gaiman allegations;

Do I believe the women?: Yes. While I do find it still a bit odd that there’s missing context, I think that’s a fault of the podcast and not the fault of the women. I hope that they come forward to more reputable news sources and give their stories fully soon.

Do I think this is a right wing conspiracy: Yes and no. I do not think all of this is one big lie, but I do think the journalism here is clearly biased and I do not think these women’s stories would’ve been aired if they (the journalists) did not believe there would be any political gain. I do believe that it could be possible that tortoise media is trying to slander those who have worked with him. I do not blame the women for this.

Do I still wish to see more proof?: Of course. I think it’s possible to believe victims while also still wishing to see more proof. It’s important to be critical still, but once again this does not mean that it’s okay to say these women are lying because you haven’t seen proof.

Do I think any fandoms for media he created should interact with him again?: No. He clearly has a record of abusing his position of power, and I do not think any fans should interact with him again for the sake of their own safety. This includes on any social media. If he returns to being online, don’t send asks or react to them. Don’t return power to him.

Do I think anyone who was worked with him is obligated to come out with their reactions immediately?: No. It’s entirely possible the news hasn’t made it to them yet. It’s also entirely possible that they could be still processing things after working personally with him. If we as fans are shocked in disgusted, then imagine how those who have worked with him feel. Do not condemn them for speaking out immediately, they have lives too.

Do I think you can still watch his shows?: I feel mixed about this personally. I think it’s a better idea to 🏴‍☠️, but I also understand he is not the only person who worked on these shows. 🏴‍☠️ing affects more than him, so personally I don’t see a problem with watching his shows as long as you condemn him.

Do I think you can still read his books: Yes, but it’s a bit different here. I do not think people should be buying his books now. If you want to own them, buy second hand. If you don’t mind reading online, then 🏴‍☠️. I wouldn’t really recommend checking them out at a library as that still does give him support since the library could decide to purchase more of his books.

Do I think you can enjoy media he’s worked on or created without supporting him as person?: 1000%. His actions and alleged perversions do not translate into any of his work from what I’ve seen. I think it is 100% possible to separate him from his media in this case, especially with Good Omens and his shows.

Do I think you should burn/trash your books or media by him?: I don’t see a point, but I understand why someone may want to do this. Everyone is angry and upset, and if you want nothing to do with his works anymore that’s 100% valid. I just personally don’t see a point since they’ve already been purchased, and unless you bought them recently and can return them, you’re not taking any money away from him. If you don’t want to keep his books anymore, I’d suggest donating them to a thrift store or a library.

Edit: I wanted to add a section here about the relationships he had with these women since I didn’t really mentioned it before, so here (TW FOR SA);

While the relationships themselves were consensual for the most part (besides the two allegations of SA) I still do not think they were right to be had. The power imbalance and age gaps are gross. They’re not illegal, but morally they’re incorrect in my opinion. I know one of these women was a fan of his, and I believe he took advantage of that. And im also pretty sure he was 40 years older than her at the time. That’s gross.

As for neil’s current response as featured in the article, I don’t think he’s telling the truth. He admits to having relationships with those women, which adds to fact that I believe he’s not a good person for having those relationships already where he clearly was the one in power. The false memories claim could have some nuance to it (it’s possible that it could be something that happens to that woman without it being stated on medical records) but I personally believe it’s an excuse on his end, true or not.

Of course, continue to be kind to each other online. Don’t berate those who are upset and confused, and don’t berate the victims either. For those who believe it’s still all a lie, you have no reason to believe he wouldn’t be capable of any of this. You don’t know him. He doesn’t know you. I urge you to rethink everything about this situation and take some time to process it on your own. Denying everything is not the way to go about this.

I believe that’s everything I have to say. If you read all this, I appreciate this. If you think my wording is odd in some places or if it seems I said something I didn’t mean, please let me know. I’m writing this all on a bit of whim so I can put my thoughts out there instead of keeping it all inside. Thanks again, and stay safe

#neil gaiman #good omens #the sandman #Coraline

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snghnlvr · 1 year ago

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𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. / sim jaeyun

sim jaeyun x fem reader!

read part two here <3

synopsis : who knew there was something behind your relationship with the infamous smart guy at school? you had questions as to why jake likes you and chose you to be his girlfriend out of all people. soon, you found out the truth: by a bet.

extra: olivia rodrigo is my mom , if i was y/n i would’ve slapped the shit out of jake but let’s not get too physical here eh?? :] , i haven’t seen much jake angst (because he’s the most loving human ever??? he would NEVER ever do something like this) so here i am… :D

likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

“thanks for making me get $100, babe”

you look up from your seat to see your boyfriend, jake holding a $100 bill between his index and middle fingers. he sent you a wink which already made you blush like crazy but then you slowly processed the words.

what?

“what?” your expression dropped. you looked at jake, waiting for a response for what he meant.

“i said,” he planted his two hands in front of his desk, staring down at you with his beautiful eyes of his. you stared back with nothing but confusion in your eyes.

“thanks for letting me have $100 sweet cheeks.” jake’s lips curved up. he slowly leaned towards your cheeks, pecking them before proudly looking down at his cash.

that little nickname he gave you made your hearts do back flips as usual.

you stood still before replying, “what do you mean? you used me?”

you’ve liked jake ever since he was in the school’s soccer team since sophomore year. he’s popular for his smartness, his godly visuals, his amazing personality of his that steals the hearts of girls, and his talents.

your introverted personality of yours didn’t dare to make a move on jake. you were undoubtedly shy and didn’t like social interaction very much. all of the girls were in line to ask him out and directly confess their love to him, but you didn’t. you weren’t in line, you were just observing him from the side, mentally noting what he likes, didn’t like, what topics he likes to talk about and many more.

the only proof that you like him was through a little post it note you had on your desk before leaving to go to cafeteria.

sim jaeyun <3

was all you’ve written in pink in your yellow post it note. you haven’t told anyone, even your closest friend for you would be afraid of the public teasing that would soon eventually let the whole school know you like jake.

five months, he suddenly asked you out because he thought you were the “most beautiful girl i had ever laid eyes on but was scared to make a move”, quoted by sim jake himself.

at first you didn’t question it as to why he randomly asked you out.

you remember that day, you were blushing like crazy, heart almost ripping out of your rib cage, and you had all sorts of scenarios and activities both you and jake can do because both of you are in a relationship.

well, were in a relationship.

��yeah.” your thoughts were interrupted when jake responded with a heartless tone. “i admit that you were cute when you bought me gifts, but either than that,

i’ve never liked you.” his tone was monotonous.

is that why i reminded him of my birthday? is that why i reminded him of our monthsavrie? when my classes end? is that why i was the first to everything? good morning texts?

thinking about your past memories where you felt the most happy with jake,

was all just an act. just for the damn $100 dollars.

jake being the first one to hold your hand whenever both of you met, even if it’s a minute in the hallways or meeting after school ended, him being the first to notice you shivering and toss you his hoodie even if he was cold, him volunteering to help you study your subjects even if it’s 2am, him wiping your lips with his soft fingers from eating ice cream, him listening to your rants and sobs whenever your parents fight late at night, and always looking at you with nothing but love and admiration you believed,

all an act?

you lowered your head, trying to contain your proper breathing and trying not let your tears fall down. you exhaled, closing your eyes.

“who asked you?”

jake’s face slightly clenched when seeing your eyes filled with rage yet tears threatening to spill out. “who asked you for the bet?” you asked once again but with a firm tone. you didn’t break eye contact. you were thinking of his friends he always hung out with, park sunghoon, yang jungwon, lee heeseung, and many more but you felt like these people - your best friends as well - would never hurt you like that.

instead of being sad and running away, you’re staring at your ex boyfriend with bitterness. the loving stare you’ve had towards jake was rather replaced as if he’s your enemy. yeah, you’ve been backstabbed.

“does it matter?” jake tilted his head, shrugging it off. “what matters is i got my money.” he flicked his bill right in front of your face, his tongue peaking when he mockingly smiled at you.

you glanced at the dollar and then back at jake.

“did i mean nothing to you?” you asked, your thoughts suddenly spilling from your lips. “was our relationship nothing to you?” a tear spilled out of your eyes. seconds later, multiple of them were easily sliding down your cheeks.

you stood up from your seat, looking directly into jake’s emotionless eyes. “did you have fun playing with my feelings? did you enjoy taking my likeness towards you as an advantage? were your friends having fun hyping us up whenever we were around them? did you at least have some fucking sympathy for me!?”

after screaming, you looked down. you were going crazy. literally.

“god, y/n calm down. you’re embarrassing me, lower your volume.” jake crinkled his nose, eyes wandering around to see if there was anyone near the both of you.

despite not looking at him, you can hear the annoyance in his tone and the rolling of his eyes whenever you guys argue. he would call you “overdramatic.”

“fine.” you gulped before looking at him. you imagined yourself as a crying mess. it’s like every argument you had, jake would not cry, but you were.

you had to contain yourself to not let your emotions overwhelm you, but it’s hard right now.

you just got used for money.

“i hope that $100 dollar bill reminds you how much of a shitty person you are.” you grabbed your book bag and ran for your life.

out of that suffocating room.

i can’t believe it, you thought.

he’s a bitch he’s a bitch why is he a bitch!? why did he choose me!? why did he hurt me? i did nothing but .. love him and be there for him.. what did i do to get treated like this??

your chest hurts like shit, you can’t breathe, you can’t think properly, all you wanna do is to hide forever and never face jake the following monday at school. you wanted to go anywhere. anywhere but be in a room with him, sim jaeyun.

god, love is fucking embarrassing as hell.

YEAHHH jake angst drabble🕺 idk how to feel this one as i can’t imagine jake doing such a thing :(( but we need a change don’t we ? i hope you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading!! ❣️

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thedeathdeelers · 22 days ago

Note

The writers wanna convince me that Sae-on, never-been-kissed Saeon, most-likely-a-virgin Saeon, led-a-touch-starved-existence Saeon can kiss like that?

Ain’t nobody gonna change my mind that this entire amusement park date was planned to the last detail and by last detail I’m mean he DEFINITELY looked up how to smooch and some other methods of affection to cap it all off.

I know a ho. I know the game!!

first of all: LMAO

this was great thank u for sending this in cause lmaoooo he a ho for sure

but also we should all thank the writers AND actors for not giving us a dead fish kissing a cardboard cutout kiss cause that would’ve…100% killed the entire build up of chemistry

its part him googling (lmao imagine. à la sunjae from lovely runner like ‘what does it mean to dream about kissing a girl’) and part him just..having imagined this moment for so long and thinking it would be impossible…he for sure let it all out 👀

and he is a perfectionist after all. all the research and the minute details done and ready for the girl of his dreams, wouldn’t surprise anyone

(can’t believe we got yet another kdrama bought out so it’s empty amusement park scene tho)

but i digress- his whole thing just to get her to relax and enjoy herself before they met up cause he knew how scared she was of his disappointment and rejection was v v sweet ♥️ (and also kind of helping her move past relating amusement parks to the tragedy and trauma from her childhood and trying to replace them with more happy and relaxed memories. i liked that)

ok this went way off track but basically this was hilarious to read thank u 👍🏻

#ask #anon #when the phone rings #thank you for sharing 🥰

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watcherintheweyr · 8 months ago

Note

Can they make a post with their opinion on young alicent please? (English is not my first language, I hope I used the pronouns correctly. If not, I apologize)

Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long, I had written out this entire response and somehow tumblr fucking ate it.

So for starters, you didn’t quite get the pronoun use right, but that’s totally fine and I really appreciate you trying! Pronouns and the english language are a bitch to learn. So when someone’s pronouns are ‘they/them’ those pronouns only replace gendered pronouns- (he/his/he’s/she/her/hers/she’s). Non gendered pronouns (you/your/you’re/yours) are entirely fine. So this would’ve been ‘Can you make a post with your opinion on young Alicent?’. If you were then to talk about me, it’d be ‘I asked watcherintheweyr to make a post about their opinion on young Alicent’ or ‘Watcherintheweyr made a post explaining their thoughts on young Alicent because I asked them.’

Don’t feel bad pls- the English language is a total bitch, and genuinely you put more effort into trying to get it right than a lot of native english speakers who I interact with. And I really do appreciate it.

anyways, on to your question!

So while I have a lot of sympathy for young Alicent in a lot of ways- I don’t like her, and I never did. For starters, I absolutely despise that the show isolated Rhaenyra and made Alicent her only friend and companion, which was untrue in the books and also makes no sense for how royalty works. Rhaenyra, as the only princess, would’ve have a sizeable ‘household’ of young ladies around her age. Those girls would’ve been essentially her helpers and her companions- she would’ve been in lessons alongside them, and they would’ve worked together in matters of court, politics, and events. Canonically she had a gaggle of young girls she was very close to- to the point that when (SPOILERS) Rhaenyra is murdered by Aegon, her ‘youngest and gentlest’ lady, Elinda Massey, purportedly gouges out her eyes from the trauma and horror.

Also, I despise that Laena Velaryon’s story and importance in Rhaenyra’s life was sacrificed for Alicent Hightower- including their deeply hinted romantic connection.

Anyways, moving on. Alicent Hightower.

Ultimately, I think that Alicent is a tragic example of what happens when you buy into oppressive regimes- further and enable them because you think you’ll be rewarded for sacrificing others to those regimes, and realize far too late that you won’t. She has 100% bought into the Faith of the Seven and Otto and Westeros’ sexism, and she serves that system in the hope that she’ll be rewarded for it, for playing by the rules and sabotaging the power and autonomy of other women- especially Rhaenyra. And all the seeds and groundwork are THERE from episode one if you pay attention. Alicent is a self-righteous hypocrite and not nearly as intelligent as she thinks she is- and she is also a victim of Otto, Viserys, and the patriarchy. I also think she was never a good friend to Rhaenyra- and that she never really knew Rhaenyra.

(This post is going to be VERY long, so buckle up)

In episode one, we see very quickly that Alicent doesn’t understand Rhaenyra well, if at all. She makes the comment that Rhaenyra is ‘disagreeable’ when she’s worried- and is promptly baffled that Rhaenyra’s worry is not her position or about being ‘overshadowed’ for a son- that Rhaenyra genuinely hopes her father will get the son he’s wanted for her entire life, and that her only true worry is her mother. Emma D’Arcy and Milly Alcock both press that Rhaenyra is fully aware that due to her gender that she isn’t ‘enough’ for her parents or the realm, that she’s seen as lacking or deficient. Alicent doesn’t seem at all aware of this. Furthermore, Alicent’s question is… Odd. At this point in the story, Rhaenyra is only ‘a’ princess. She isn’t the heir- Daemon is. The only ‘overshadowing’ that could occur is Viserys’ already fleeting and inconsistent ‘love’ becoming even less present. And Rhaenyra is already expecting this; but Alicent presses more of Rhaenyra’s ‘position’.

Now bear in mind- in the past 10 years, 14 year old Rhaenyra has had to watch her father insist on and continually risk her mother’s life and health, and she’s had to mourn 5 siblings- some born, others not. So Rhaenyra being ‘disagreeable’ when she’s worried makes sense. But when she doesn’t budge on not wanting to talk about/prioritize her ‘position’, Alicent gets huffy and makes to leave. She then appears to be entirely stunned when Rhaenyra verbatim recites the current passage of history that they are learning from their Septa. This piece of information is given to us to set up and establish Rhaenyra’s clever mind and interest in learning- of the 5 episodes we have of Young!Rhaenyra, she is shown to be actively listening to and learning from her superiors in just about all of them, reading and learning from books in 3 of them, and utilizing courtly intrigue, manners, and speak in 3 of them to shut down opponents or disrespect. And yet Alicent is entirely taken aback by Rhaenyra doing this; which again lends itself to the idea that she doesn’t actually know Rhaenyra very well. In the script, at the end of the episode, it’s also expressed that Alicent doesn’t seem to understand Rhaenyra being stressed/worried about her investiture as heir- in her eyes, Rhaenyra now has everything anyone could want. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra has now been revealed the truth of why Aegon conquered the seven kingdoms- and has now been entrusted with learning to rule and govern the kingdoms, and to nurture and protect the legacy meant to fulfill this prophecy- and she is shown to be very aware of and affected by the weight of this.

Alicent, meanwhile, has become a pawn in her father’s bid for power, and a victim to his ambitions, and to Viserys’ sexism and passivity.

In episode 2, Alicent has been seeing Viserys in secret for six months- and notably, it’s 6 months into their meetings that Viserys expresses that he wishes for her not to tell Rhaenyra, as he doesn’t think she would ‘understand’. We see that she is harming herself and Otto doesn’t appear to care about it in any way more meaningful than why she would do so when she’s the most beautiful girl at court- a thing to be envied and admired. We also in this episode see how fully she has bought into the realm and the Faith’s sexism. When Rhaenyra comes to Alicent about her fears of the plots of the lords to marry her father off again now that his period of mourning is coming to an end, and as such they would be plotting to supplant her. She is struggling, because it’s shown that she is trying to act as heir, to learn and participate- because she WANTS this, wants to be heir, wants to do it and do it well- but Otto undermines and humiliates her, and Viserys simply lets it happen- practically enables it. She expresses her fears of these plots and her frustrations and desire to be the heir, to be more and grasp for more than she would’ve ever been allowed as ‘Viserys’ little girl’.

And Alicent’s response is to dismiss Rhaenyra’s fears- to tell her friend and the named heir to the throne that it ‘isnt their place to question the plots of kings and men’. Because Alicent does not believe women can or should hold genuine power- like she says in episode 9, women are meant to ‘gently guide those who [rule]’. And she does this while she is actively a part of one of those very plots that Rhaenyra fears. Now, bear in mind; I am fully aware that Alicent is a victim to her father’s ambitions, and Viserys’ complicity. It’s not Alicent’s fault what these men do to her. And it’s understandable why Alicent wouldn’t want to tell Rhaenyra, in a lot of ways.

That doesn’t change that both Alicent AND Viserys broke Rhaenyra’s trust and hurt her- and she is shown later to be trying to create distance from them- because they have both shown that Rhaenyra cannot trust them. Viserys because he’s self-serving and blind, and Alicent because her ultimate loyalty and obeisance will always be to her father, not Rhaenyra. And Rhaenyra is keenly aware of this after the reveal, even though it is never made clear to Rhaenyra that Alicent wasn’t seeing Viserys in secret of her own volition. That doesn’t change that for six months, since the *night* of Aemma’s funeral, Alicent was seeing Viserys in secret, whilst dismissing Rhaenyra’s fears of that exact sort of plot to her face. That doesn’t change the fact that Rhaenyra has every right to feel hurt, feel betrayed, and not want anything to do with Alicent- or Viserys, beyond what she cannot avoid.

On a note that’s entirely personal, while I know that Alicent was attempting to share something important to her with Rhaenyra in an attempt to help her feel better, to me, Alicent having Rhaenyra partake of her faith felt… strange. Rhaenyra, who named the dragon she shared a cradle with after a goddess of Old Valyria and who has no idea how to pray in a Sept to the Seven, clearly either is not religious or follows Valyrian faiths- and considering her Valyrian marriage to Daemon, it’s likely the latter. Personally- I would not want a friend of mine to try and have me participate in their religion, and I wouldn’t push them to participate in mine either. For me, that was just uncomfortable; but again that’s a purely personal issue.

In episode 3, we see these traits of Alicent’s repeat, as well as her inability to introspect or consider someone else’s feelings. Immediately in the Godswood she uses her ‘weight’ as queen to disregard Rhaenyra attempting create space and distance between them. And while yes it was on command from the King- the way Alicent does it is almost… Smug. She then attempts to tell Rhaenyra that ‘things need not be this way’- as Rhaenyra, upset, goes to change and ready herself for the hunt, despite the fact that this is the last place she wishes to be. Alicent is upset at the loss of her friend, and likely lonely- but she disregards Rhaenyra’s feelings entirely. This is further compounded by the scene in the carriage.

Despite the fact that she and Alicent are not friends, nor truly even speaking, Rhaenyra, who watched her mother struggle and suffer pregnancies, and lose multiple babes and her life, expresses concern that Alicent is traveling in her condition. In an incredibly clumsy attempt to soothe her concerns, Alicent makes the comment that ‘Aegon came quickly and without fuss.’ Again; i understand that this was a very clumsy attempt to ease Rhaenyra’s worry, however everyone in that carriage sees how poorly the comment lands, and Alicent makes no attempt at apology. ‘Aegon came quickly and without fuss’ is.. very insensitive to say to the girl that lost her mother to the childbed, and especially when you are quite literally sitting in that mother’s place- when you’ve replaced her because her last child killed her and died alongside her. If she had made any attempt at apology (the way Rhaenyra did when she saw a comment she made while expressing her frustrations hurt Alicent in e.4), that would be one thing; but she doesn’t.

Rhaenyra is heir- and canonically the only duty she has balked at is marriage. She is currently desperately holding on to being ‘the heir’ with everything she has- because it is all she has, the only thing that doesn’t make her replaceable with the new family that Viserys is building with Alicent- and as such it’s understandable that she doesn’t wish to go to Aegon’s second Name-day celebration, as she is keenly aware of the thing Viserys is blind to and that Alicent is passive to; the realm considers a 2 year old boy child more valuable and more worthy than the 17 year old princess who has actively been learning to be and acting as heir for three years at this point. Alicent’s uncle, Hobart Hightower, welcomes them by crying out ‘All Hail Aegon the Conqueror-Babe, second of his name!’ and neither Viserys nor Alicent does anything. Hobart is not corrected, nor taken to task, and the crown is rabidly enamored with the two year old child all because his genitalia makes him more ‘valuable’ than Rhaenyra. By calling Aegon ‘second of his name’ Hobart is saying the quiet part out loud- the realm all expects and wants for Aegon to be heir, for Rhaenyra to be set aside. Alicent is the queen- but she doesn’t care enough to correct her uncle, either because she does already think her son should be heir or because she doesn’t think it’s a woman’s place to correct a man.

Later in this same episode, she gives an incredibly half-hearted defense of Rhaenyra when Otto begins to speak literal treason- but she does bend to his will yet again, and goes to Viserys with the intent of pushing Aegon’s claim. She is aware in *episode 3* that her father is conspiring against Rhaenyra’s ascension, and she never says a word of it to Viserys or Rhaenyra, because she is Otto’s creature first, and because she agrees- Rhaenyra is a woman, and thus cannot and should not rule.

Episode 4 and 5 really bring Alicent’s hypocrisy and self-centeredness to a head and set the stage for the cruel abuser that she becomes. She is the story of a victim-turned abuser, in the end.

It starts out more positively, with Alicent and Rhaenyra attempting to rekindle their friendship, and discussing Rhaenyra’s tour. Alicent expresses an almost childish lack of understanding of the truth of Rhaenyra’s courtship tour- calling it romantic, seeing it as something dreamlike. Rhaenyra exposes the cold truth of it- after we had earlier seen that none of the options she’s offered (that we see) are actually suitable. She uses courtly manners and speak to have Lord Dondarrion essentially take himself out of the running, by getting him to speak of his age and simply agreeing with him- and is then presented with a literal child. She is fully aware that every man ‘courting’ her doesn’t love her, doesn’t want HER. They want her valyrian blood. They want their children to be dragonriders. They want proximity to the throne and power. Rhaenyra has to choose a consort; and the consequences if she chooses wrong are disastrous. She could choose a man who turns her into what Viserys did to Alicent and Aemma, she could choose a man who utilizes Westerosi patriarchal views and values and turns her into a puppet queen so that he has the actual power, or she could choose a man who is, ultimately, weak- and thus would not be able to support her claim, would not be able to support or defend her when she ascends. She expresses these frustrations- but when she sees one of her comments hurts Alicent, she immediately holds her hand and squeezes in an attempt at comfort and apology.

Alicent expresses that she has found that she has few friends, lately; and this comment is.. Interesting, in what it says of Alicent. That even at the height of female power in the realm, she cannot inspire loyalty or affection in those around her, that the only prospect she has for a friend is her childhood companion. Rhaenyra expresses a hope to grow closer again as well; but well.

Immediately we shift to the scene in the Godswood where Alicent confronts Rhaenyra with her father’s accusations. She comes into the confrontation immediately condescending and judgemental, looking down on Rhaenyra’s rebellious and adventurous nature, as well as her ‘queer Targaryen customs’, and the ��crimes’ of which she is accused. Because remember; at this point, Alicent has bought entirely into the way the realm and the Faith views women; women who follow the rules, subservient and obedient, never reaching for more, sacrificing and doing their duty, are good, should be rewarded. Anything else is morally deficient, wrong, lesser. Given this and how she approaches the conversation; it is entirely understandable that Rhaenyra doesn’t trust Alicent, and relies on misdirection and her mother’s memory as well as their former closeness to protect herself, because through this entire conversation, it is obvious that if she knew the truth, Alicent *would not protect Rhaenyra.*

Now remember, Alicent speaks with Viserys in ‘defense’ of Rhaenyra- and she knows FULLY well that Viserys doesn’t believe that nothing happened, that Rhaenyra is restless, chaotic, and willful, and that she would have done as she pleases. (Made worse by Viserys bemoaning that Rhaenyra is ‘just a girl’ when 5 years ago he married Alicent and has had 2 children by her at this point and will have 2 more- plus he has been pushing and pressuring for Rhaenyra to marry for at least 3 of those years.)

Later, when Otto is dismissed, Alicent states what we all know to be true; he got himself into this position, because he kept pushing for Aegon to be made heir, to the point of committing treason and spying on the princess, salivating for a moment where she misbehaves that he can use against her. Here we see Alicent begin to believe the seeds Otto has been planting; that Rhaenyra would kill her siblings to secure her ascension. (Remember, the whole reason of the juxtaposition between the boar and the white stag in episode.3 is to directly contradict this. Rhaenyra attacks and kills the boar only because it harmed her and her knight. Killing the white stag would have helped her- it would have made the lords of Westeros see her as chosen, especially since she caught and killed it the day AFTER Aegon’s name day, and it revealed itself to HER [symbolizing that yes, Rhaenyra is the rightful heir and the RIGHT heir]. Killing it would have given her legitimacy beyond legitimacy and silenced MANY of the tongues that are conspiring against her. However she shows it mercy- despite the fact that its’ death would have served her) Despite having once ‘loved’ Rhaenyra, and ‘known’ her, somehow these lies make sense to Alicent and she believes them. (Furthermore, she somehow is shocked in ep.9 that the reverse is true- that to secure Aegon’s ascension, the easiest and most acceptable route to all the men around her who wield the true power, is to kill Rhaenyra and all of her children).

When later Larys mentions the delivery of a tea to Rhaenyra’s chambers on orders of the king (despite, again, her KNOWING that Viserys doesn’t believe nothing happened) she decides to look further into the matter; even though clearly Viserys wishes it dead and buried, left behind in the dust of her father’s departure of the capitol.

In ep.5, when Alicent discovers that Criston Cole slept with Rhaenyra, it all comes to a head. Despite the fact that Rhaenyra didn’t ‘lie’ (she did not sleep with Daemon), in this moment, Rhaenyra has solidified herself in Alicent’s mind as morally deficient, as less, and it infuriates her. The fact that Rhaenyra has taken charge of ehr body and autonomy in a way that Alicent would never have dared infuriates her; because a part of her had always accepted and even wished for what she assumed would be the order of things. That Rhaenyra would ‘sacrifice and do her duty’ and lay down to suffer the whims and wills of the men around them at Alicent’s side. That they would be united in that suffering. That they would be defanged and declawed the way the Faith extolls women must be, to ‘gently guide’ the men in power alongside them. (Ironic considering how later Alicent utterly fails in ‘guiding’ every man in power around her.)

Alicent has followed every rule and every tradition, does her duty no matter the discomfort, and the fact that Rhaenyra is daring to grasp for more, for power of her own, for happiness and autonomy, and isn’t being punished for it infuriates her. Infuriates her to the point that only Rhaenyra’s trasngression matters. To her, it doesn’t matter that Criston Cole broke his vows and slept with the princess because he valued desire over duty (as explicitly stated by Fabien and by ep.4’s directors)- he is a man. Only Rhaenyra must be punished. It doesn’t matter to her that Rhaenyra has bowed to her father’s will and that the choice of who she will be marry has been taken away from her so that he can use her to fix the political wounds he has caused; from this point forward, nothing Rhaenyra ever does will be enough for Alicent. Supplying heirs to the throne and Driftmark? Not enough- especially since Rhaenyra doesn’t assault her gay husband to do so. Acting as heir and putting forth wise, responsible suggestions in politics and problem-solving in the small council? Absolutely not, especially since in Alicent’s mind Rhaenyra has no business ruling over the men in the Small Council. Ruling from the heir’s seat of Dragonstone in preparation for the throne? Not enough. Offering apology when the poison that Alicent has been feeding her children about Rhaenyra and her children causes a fight between the children where her son is injured after throwing around death threats and claimed a dragon without the King’s leave (which IS established to be necessary in Jaehaerys’ reign) Not enough- she must have Lucerys’ eye as well. From this point on, *nothing Rhaenyra can or will do will ever be enough.*

And the irony is that her own hypocrisy never takes herself into account. She uses a dress to declare war at a wedding; insulting the Velaryons and her stepdaughter, and she faces no consequences for doing so, nothing for the disrespect- but only Rhaenyra ‘never’ faces consequences, right? Criston Cole murders a knight of the kingdoms and strikes the future king-consort to the Kingdoms- and Alicent protects him from every consequence, brings him into her own household as her own sworn knight.

In essence; young Alicent is a victim of the Faith, the Patriarchy and the men around her; but all of the seeds for the abuser that she becomes are there. She’s a hypocrite, blind to anything that doesn’t fit the narrative she wishes for, and to a degree, very narcissistic, and not as clever or as powerful as she thinks she is.

Mind you her being self-serving or self-absorbed isn’t some unforgivable crime; but in juxtaposition to how Rhaenyra expresses concern and care for her at multiple points, it just sits very poorly, for me.

Moving on;

Alicent, when younger is… Deeply interesting, deeply flawed, and incredibly tragic. Her younger self sets the stage for how her story ends; (SPOILERS) with her outliving all her children and grandchildren, all of them dead for her grudges and ambition, with her mad and alone.

She’s also, in some ways, very clever; she’s observant, knowing much of the court gossip, even potentially dangerous secrets in e.1 (speaking of that one Lady’s ‘swollen belly’ aka suspected pregnancy). She’s very duty-oriented, though mostly because she wants to be rewarded for how dutiful she is. She’s subservient to the men around her due to how Otto uses her, and short-sighted. I don’t think she’s a particularly kind individual, but I think she did have the POTENTIAL to be kind. She’s a little boy-obsessed- she was confirmed to have had a crush on Daemon and on Criston, plus how she viewed the courtship tour as ‘romantic’, but she’s also so obsessed with Rhaenyra that it blinds her to the truth both of herself and of Rhaenyra- obsessed with an image of Rhaenyra that isn’t actually the truth. She takes solace in her Faith, it seems, more than anything else, and she struggles to connect to people around her in meaningful ways. She has moments of deep insight- such as how she told Rhaenyra that any effort in hers and Viserys’ relationship would have to come from Rhaenyra, as Viserys, a man, is useless to ‘the language of girls’. She doesn’t like risks (no interest in flying with Rhaenyra) or adrenaline, and likely pursues only more ‘feminine’ pursuits- canonically we know Rhaenyra loves to ride horses and to fly Syrax, to hawk and hunt, loves fashion- even in the book I’d say Rhaenyra is a ‘fashionable’ tomboy in a lot of ways. But we don’t really know.. ANY hobbies of Alicent’s. We don’t know her passions, we don’t know her interests outside of the Faith and the ambitions of her family.

We don’t know her relationships with her children or motherhood- though we know she’s jealous of what a good mother Rhaenyra is.

Honestly it’s a shame. S1 really needed to be 20 eps- 10 with the younger versions of Alicent and Rhaenyra, and 10 with the older. It would’ve let us KNOW the characters more and get far more invested in their fates.

Anyways this… is a novel. But I hope I answered your question alright lmao. I think Alicent as a character is very interesting- but good lord I don’t like her, and yeah I didn’t like her younger version either.

#anti alicent hightower stans #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent #pro rhaenyra targaryen #anti team green stans #anti team green #pro team black #i’m. not gonna tag this w character names bc i Know the alicent stans will come for me en masse and i’m not about that life #hotd critical

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waitingonher · 1 year ago

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hi there!! congrats on 100 followers,, could you do prompt 17 for leo valdez? i love ur writing so so much you write characters just how i imagined them

EMMY'S 100 EVENT CELEBRATION

leo valdez + this reminded me of you.

content warning: nothing

authors note: HI THANK YOU SO SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! that really means a lot to me <33 thank youuu

your only regret about joining camp-half blood—besides the lethal quests issued every once in a while—are the monthly cabin check-ups. why chiron had to implement this incredibly useful, yet incredibly stupid system? you wish you knew. well, you do suppose it’s come in handy against your siblings who’d prefer to live in a complete pigsty. but other than that, it’s proven to become everyone’s least favorite day. a day full of cleaning, very irritable campers, and the overpowering scent of every detergent on the market isn’t exactly what someone would want to wake up to.

but here you are, unfortunately put on laundry duty. damn your terribly cruel siblings. they get assigned the fun things like sweeping, and dusting! well actually, those still aren’t very fun but it’s way, way better than doing laundry. the process of separating, washing, drying, and then folding isn’t your ideal way of spending your afternoon. but, the only benefit of laundry duty is that you’re basically completely alone, which also means no one’s there to pester you about your quality of work. yay to no one screaming in your ear about better sweeping techniques!

that’s why you find yourself half-assing the color sorting. you absentmindedly toss somebody’s light pink hoodie into the colored laundry basket. light pink and black? basically the same thing. but your focus comes back as you realize that you’re onto the last basket that requires sorting. you really have to fight yourself from doing a victory dance.

while your focus does come back, it doesn’t necessarily go back to the clothes though as you hear the door of the laundry room slam open. a sweaty, disheveled-looking boy enters, a grin plastered on his face that makes it seem as if he’s relieved to have found you. and he just so happens to be your boyfriend, “babe, i’m here to rescue you from laundry duty.”

“thank the gods,” you toss the sock in your hand into a random basket and make your way to leo. he chuckles at your carelessness before pulling you in for a kiss. you really needed that, “now tell me, how do you plan to rescue me from laundry duty?”

leo makes a face that tells you he hasn’t really thought that far, “um. well, i brought you temporary relief,” he responds, fishing something out of his jean pocket. and out comes a tiny red satin pouch.

“oh?” your head tilts out of curiosity, “did you find and steal something while cleaning?” the thought of leo doing something like that wasn’t totally out of the question. so that’s why you’re a little more confused when he simply shakes his head and offers you the bag in silence.

with the pouch in your hand, your boyfriend makes a motion for you to open it, “okay, i might’ve hyped it up a little too much,” leo gives you a sheepish smile as you pull out two absolutely adorable matching cat keychains, “but they reminded me of you, so i bought them. plus, i also thought they’d make a good gift of encouragement for today.”

“oh leo, these are so cute!” you put the cats side by side and you almost scream, once connected, they form a heart! all of a sudden your hatred for laundry duty and everything else bad in the world washes away. who knew two little cat keychains could have this effect on you? apparently leo did, “thank you so, so much babe,” you kiss him on the cheek, “i swear, as soon as i’m done here,” a smooch on the other cheek, “i’m putting my half on my bag,” finally, one for his lips.

leo’s features form a lopsided, lovesick smile, “wow. if i knew two little keychains would earn me this many kisses, then i would’ve just bought you two real cats,” he says, a teasing tone laced within his words.

you laugh at the idea of leo walking into the laundry room carrying two random cats. as much as you’d love to see that come to fruition, cat hair and clothes do not mix well. you pocket your keychain and hand the other to leo, “you should probably go, chiron would lose his shit if he saw you here with me.”

“wait, more kisses, then i’ll leave,” your boyfriend’s lips begin to turn comically downwards as his brows raise, and you realize what he’s doing: his stupid puppy dog eyes, “you can’t resist this can you?”

you quirk your brow, “oh, i can,” but the way he looks so incredibly dumb and desperate makes you give in, “fine. let’s make it quick.”

#[🍵] emmy's 100 event #leo valdez #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez x you #leo valdez fanfic #leo valdez fluff #leo valdez imagine #leo valdez headcanons #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson fic #percy jackson fluff

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mochiroreo · 1 year ago

Text

Oh goodie! Pt. 2 [smile, you’re on camera]

18+ MDNI

Pairing: (Dark)Older!Eddie Munson x innocent!nerdy!reader (afab!reader) x (Dark)Older!Steve Harrington

Summary: being a latchkey child, you are used to being alone. So when your parents announced that your whole family is moving to Hawkins, you paid them no mind and just packed up your bags. What you are not expecting was that the house that your family just bought comes with two neighbours that are in dire need to have you in any way.

Word count: 10.9k (I stopped myself AAAAA)

Trigger warning (for this chapter): a

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. NONCON. Manipulation. Gaslighting. NON CONSENSUAL DRUG USE. 100% FILTH. Obssession. MEAN STEDDIE. Non-consensual recording. Fingering. Squirting. Tiddy sucking. Unprotected P in V (wrap it before you tap it please) age gap. Hidden relationships. Spanking. Overstimulation. She/her pronouns. Pet names (no use of y/n).

Author’s note: thank you so much for the support on part 1! Never have I ever thought that my first ever smut fic would get this much love! As always, I am still learning on how to write fics and stories in general, you guys don’t have any choice but to learn with me hehe. English is not my first language, so forgive me if there are any grammatical errors or typos! This was also non-beta’d oops. Love lots! 💖

You woke up snug on your blanket and plushies, your eyes adjusting to the sunlight.

You slowly sat down, looking around to realize that you’re just in your room which made you confused on what happened. Your eyes felt tired from crying as your mind went back to the events last night. You remember how Steve’s thick fingers felt hot on your skin, on your thighs, in between your legs. And how he pumped them in and out of you in an unforgiving pace. How Eddie’s strong,firm, tattooed arms held you while playing with your breasts with his mouth.

Your face immediately went hot with all those vivid details, your legs closing in instinct with the sudden surge of emotion while your heart beats loudly in your chest. It felt so wrong to you that it made your skin crawl. So wrong that you’re afraid it might have already ruined your blossoming neighbourly relationship with them. Your eyes were tearing up as you blame yourself for letting it get out of hand. For letting yourself be held by them. The guilt slowly eating you up. You held your face and tried to breathe in and out as you tremble, trying to get out of your bed.

Slowly walking outside of your room, you peek left and right to make sure that you’re alone. Making your way downstairs, you have noticed how you’re now wearing a pair of pyjamas. With your stomach grumbling, you headed straight to your kitchen for a glass of water while thinking what you can cook, convincing yourself that you cannot be sick while wallowing in guilt. Putting your glass on the countertop, you noticed some take away boxes with a sticky note.

“Hey princess,

We hope you’re feeling fine. We bought you some food, so please eat up once you wake up. We’re working overtime today and this week in general, so we won’t be around much. We wanted to give you space either way.

Here’s our number if it gets too much. Don’t forget to message us when you wake up.

Love,

Steve & Eddie xx”

At the bottom of the note, both their numbers were scribbled with hearts around it. The note would’ve made you smile, if it weren’t for the emotions that you’re feeling. You held the containers of food and just decided that you’re not hungry anymore, putting them away inside the fridge. You held the note in your hand, planning to throw it away before deciding against it. Putting it inside your pocket.

The feeling of guilt wasn’t just about you doing the sexual acts. You’re pretty sure that your friends have done so much more, the constant gossip of ‘who slept with who’ and ‘how long did they last, or did you last’ was around you since you were 16, though remaining ignorant on the actual deed. The amount of romance books with detailed scenes about sex made up for your lack of experience, though its “vanilla” like what they’ve said. It doesn’t bother you one bit, though it does make you redder than red with how oblivious you still are when it comes to the real thing. No prior experience till now.

What bothers you is that how out of all people you could have done it with, you did it with the neighbours that was just planning to help you and look out for you. At least, that’s what you think. Your mind is telling you that it's your fault, not theirs even though at the back of your head, someone is telling you that it is indeed their fault... Seeing how your parents even trusted them to look after you while they’re out of town, you never doubt your parents' judgement, so you know that it’s only your fault. Your mistake. You gripped your hair out of frustration, ignoring the gnawing feeling of self-pity laced with confusion if what happened last night was wrong even though it felt right. You took a deep breath, running your hands on your face with a sigh.

Your mind is racing on how they would look at you now. You’re scared that they might tell your parents how you acted towards them when they were just trying to help you out. You can’t help but think that maybe its okay to text them, before deciding not to cause you really don’t know what to say to them.

You took a warm bath, ignoring the shivers while you wash yourself. Memories from last night just won’t leave you the whole day. Biting your bottom lip, you sighed while breathing in the scent of strawberries and honey from your body wash and hair products. The day went by with you feeling down, feeling as if not only did you disappoint your parents, but you have also taken advantage of Steve and Eddie’s kindness. Wearing a pair of comfy pyjamas, you’ve let your mind rest and drifted off to sleep, telling yourself that you’ll be avoiding Steve and Eddie at all costs for now. You do not want them to get an idea of you taking advantage of them or their kindness, of disappointing your parents even further if word comes out. You do not want to feel the confusion of it all again.

Eddie and Steve did not like it at all.

They did not like it one bit. Steve watches Eddie pace back and forth, constantly checking his phone before looking at Steve, working on his laptop, which only made the man sigh. “No message, Eds.” Steve calmly says, showing his phone screen. Eddie groaned in frustration before letting out loud series of swear words. “Fuck! She’s been avoiding us, Steve! It's almost one week!” Eddie’s chest is slowly heaving, his wifebeater barely containing his taut chest with how fitted it is to him. He took several deep breaths, stretching his arms before sighing and taking a sit on his armchair sofa. Inked arms flexing as he took hold of the sides of the chair before ruffling his soft locks in madness.

Steve dropped by to his house when he noticed that all the lights in your house are off except your room. He just finished his jog when he went past your place, dressed up in grey sweatpants and a fitted shirt. He knocked on Eddie’s door to let the other know that you’re trying to avoid both of them based on how you did not reach out. Eddie immediately threw a tantrum, thinking that what happened last week was enough to somehow show you how they wanted you. How much they needed you. Steve pushing the idea that you are made for them.

They sat side by side, Eddie passing Steve a blunt which he gladly accepts. Taking a deep breath, Steve blew the smoke upwards, the weed easing his and Eddie’s nerves. Steve has never been that much vocal compared to when he was younger. Sure, maybe in bed or when he is having fun in genral. But never when he’s mad now, which made him harder to read throughout the years. And in Eddie’s eyes, that’s what made him a tad bit scarier than him. Steve calls it “emotional maturity”, Eddie calls it “manipulative asshole 2.0”, thinking that he’s the 1.0 version.

They know that they’re spiralling down towards this obsession towards you. That magnetic pull when they opened the door and found you, its like what they’ve been unknowingly wishing for all throughout. They’re very much aware that if people knew, they’ll frown and get disgusted with how perverse their actions are, but they’re pretty sure that even their friends, Jonathan and Billy, would get where they’re coming from. You are just so— divine. Perfect in every way in their eyes. Your shyness, the soft timbre of your voice, the way you swoon under your parents’ touch when they praise you for being such a good girl— just the air that you breathe makes them drunk enough to constrict their air flow. You fit flawlessly on the gaps they didn’t know they have.

“I have a feeling she’s confused. Guilty, even. Pretty sure that’s what been running inside that pretty little head of hers.” Eddie spoke, taking a deep breath to feel the high immediately. “I think she needs to smoke some weed.” He joked, eyeing Steve. Steve’s eyes widened a bit before changing position and seating down the couch in a more comfortable manner.

“Do you still have some goods on you, Munson?” Steve asked him with hazy eyes, ashing the blunt. Eddie looked at him with a scoff, pouring the both of them some whiskey in a glass. His ring-clad fingers clacked on the bottle and the glass when he grabbed it to offer one to Steve. “I’m a fucking changed man, Harrington.” He smirked, taking a drink and feeling the burn of the whiskey down his throat.

“I know, but do you still have some on you?” Steve rolled his eyes, also taking a sip of his alcohol. “What do you need? I can get it from some of my friends at the other side of town, where me and the band used to play.” Steve gave the other a smile, taking another hit. “Can you get some Ketamine? You decide how much.” The long-haired man looked at Steve with confusion before it clicked when Steve just gave him a knowing look. A loud cackle left Eddie’s mouth, the gears in his mind slowly clicking as he connects the dots of Steve’s ideas. They both salivate at the thought of having you, knowing how their actions are crossing the borderline of obsession without the guarantee of going back once they have a proper taste of you.

And it looks like they don’t even have the plan of going back.

Your parents came back briefly from their trip, your face glowing as you watch them tell you about their latest ventures and things that they got you as it reminded them of you. You swallow down the urge of telling them the events, basking in their smiles and comfort when they praised you on how you’re so understanding of them, at the same time apologising for being barely beside you. You shake your head with a smile, before giving them each a peck while saying how much you love them and how happy you are already by seeing them come home.

Running down the stairs when your mom called you, you did not notice that Steve and Eddie were present, talking to your dad while having some beer at the dining table. Your smile slowly faltered, replaced with with wide eyes laced with embarrassment. Steve heard your steps, looking at your direction before Eddie followed. They both gave you a warm smile, your dad doing the same. “Peach! They were just telling me how you are such a good girl for not giving them a headache when they were looking after you. Cannot thank these men enough, makes me feel at ease knowing that there’s an adult figure around you while me and your mom’s out and about with work.” You dad exclaimed with a smile, giving both men with a pat on the back. “Just tell me when one of you gentleman feels like going on a date, I can hook you up with one of my single friends or colleagues.” Your mom teased, giggling at her statement.

You faked a smile, nervously fiddling with the ends of your skirt. You don’t get why they would lie about them looking after you when you are sure that they know you did not step outside your house the whole time your parents are gone. But you are also thankful that they haven’t mentioned anything to your parents. You focused your gaze on your house slippers, before trying to block out their conversation. You feel Eddie’s eyes follow you as you go through your fridge, grabbing a pint of ice cream and a spoon before sitting down at a bar stool at the kitchen counter. “Mom, what did you call me for?” Asking her with your mouth full of ice cream, she only laughed at you before grabbing a napkin and wiping the sides of your mouth. The action made you smile, scrunching your nose to which both men ound adorable, hoping they would be the ones to do it soon.

“Me and your dad might need to go back at our old house to sort the deed and for smoother transitions of our jobs. Apparently, something wasn’t filed properly in regard to our old property. While some files are missing from our old office, so me and you dad is thinking that maybe we can sort it out the sooner the better.” She explained, a melancholic expression writte on her face as she watches your expression change. “Oh...” you muttered “but there’s going to be a storm, they say.” You tried to reason out.

“I know honey, which might make this trip longer. Like our previous trip overseas.” your chest felt heavy, resisting the urge to cry and telling her your mistakes, you just gave her a small smile with a nod. Your mom smiled back, before whispering a series of apologies.

Steve watched the whole interaction, eavesdropping. As a latch key child himself, he’s happy that despite being your parents being barely there, they never shied away from showing you affection and assurance even though it's not always enough. He keeps his emotions at bay, because even though he is at awe, he is also annoyed at you. Annoyed at how you’re acting that nothing happened that night. At how you refused to leave your house, not even texting them when they gave you their number. Since that night, all Steve thought about was how you tasted. How it engulfed all his senses. He kept on telling Eddie how sinful you tasted even though the other guy had his share as well.

You felt Steve’s burning stare, meeting his eyes when you looked up. You felt your cheeks heat up, before putting your head down. Eddie’s laughter is ringing throughout the kitchen, telling your parents some wild stories about his youth. You excused yourself after knowing when your parents will leave once again, eyes planted onto the floor the whole time you’re walking towards your room.

For you, the nights are getting colder and lonelier. Trying to stop the wobbling of your lip as you’re close to crying, you bit you bottom lip before wiping your eyes.

There was a faint knock on your door while you were reading a book inside your room. Fixing your glasses, you looked up before answering “come in”. Your door slowly opened, revealing Steve and Eddie. Steve looks dashing, wearing his usual black office slacks, a grey button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone. Eddie wearing his black leather jacket, fitted top underneath with his black ripped jeans.

Your eyes widened a little, taking them in and how they look so good every time you see them before distracting yourself with the book in front of you. “H-hi?” They barely heard your greeting as you put your book down, fixing your glasses while avoiding their stares. Their stares felt heavy, making your palms clammy and sweaty with the sudden nervousness you’re feeling as memories from weeks before came back. Both of them looked around your room, both thinking how adorable you decorated it. Pink walls decorated with pastel blue trinkets, fairy lights, tons of plushies with some books littered all over the carpeted floor.

“Can we talk, sweetheart?” Eddie asked, his brown doe-eyes focused on you, face laced with concern. Steve just gave you a small smile, looking around your room more before his eyes landed on the unfinished shelves. He took a mental note on how he can help you with your room soon.

You nodded your head obediently, motioning for them to come in as you push 2 stools towards them. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually have guests inside my room. Do you want to seat on my bed instead?” You asked them in a hushed tone, intimidated with how big of a contrast they are to your room. Eddie softly chuckled, moving both stools so they can sit directly in front of you. Both of them sat down, their huge frames struggling to even sit comfortably. “No no, this is alright. Quite comfy.” Eddie joked, making you giggle before taking a seat.

“I—“ you started, grabbing a plushie beside you while you try to ease your nerves. “I uhm— i’m sorry.” You softly whispered, looking up to Eddie and Steve with shy eyes and flushed cheeks, looking fill of remorse. This took both of them off-guard, expecting you to tell them to fuck off or how you’ll tell your parents about what they did. Taking a shaky breath, you continued “I-I really did not want to— I swear I did not mean it to h-happen. Y-you’re just trying to help cause my mom and-and daddy— they know you’re both kind and I did that but— but it felt so good, and I don’t know why” you try to explain while your eyesight gets blurry, lips forming into a pout while your brows furrowed in frustration while you pour your heart out.

Eddie’s breath hitched, while Steve took a deep breath. “Sweetheart, you did nothing wrong.” Leaning in, Steve answered in a hushed voice, not wanting your parents to come in after telling them that him and Eddie will just have a quick chat with you to see if you’re fine with them looking after you. “It felt good, right?” The older man asked to which you nod your head before whispering “yes.” “It’s not wrong, baby.” Eddie looked at your face, your eyes red while you sniff. “Baby, look at me” his voice dipped lower, giving Steve a quick side eye. “It wasn’t wrong, okay? It felt good, it felt so good. And you liked it, didn’t you?”

You tried to hold your stare while feeling so embarrassed, you only nodded. Steve tsk-ed, shaking his head “words, baby. Come on.” God, the room was suffocating. With such heavy stares, the air felt thick and as if trying to close in on you. Your mind is reeling on all the emotions that are so new to you that you don’t even know what is happening, and what words are coming out of your mouth. Every breath they both take; you feel on your skin. Their close proximity is leaving you no room to have clear thoughts on what they’re even saying to you.

“Yes. F-felt good. But— but I don’t know. Its still wrong..” Closing your eyes in frustration, you try to clear your thoughts even though its invaded by Steve and Eddie’s silhouettes. Steve looked at you in awe, mischievousness glinting in his eyes while he takes you in. He knows you’re fighting yourself. He knows you are having an inner turmoil on what the heck is happening and how things are progressing. He knows that even though the guilt is slowly consuming you, you wanted it to happen again.

Eddie watched you take deep breathes, his mind reeling on how you look so delectable while you consider what is even happening with you and how they’re playing with you. Like Steve, its evident to him that you were trying to stop the unseeable force that pushes you towards them. He wanted to run his fingers over your whole body. His eyes started travelling lower before he stopped himself and spoke again.

“What about this, we will give you some time to think about what happened. It’s a lot, we know it sweetheart. So, just put it aside for now, okay? As long as we know now about what you thought about it. As long as you don’t push us away.” The statement made you gasp slightly, shaking your head “oh no-! I-I would never!” You looked at them with wide eyes, slightly panicking that you just gave them the idea that you will be ignoring them even. Steve just chuckled at how cute you are, his hand now finding your arm while he rubs it up and down gently. The touch made your insides gooey, oddly liking the warmth of his palm.

“Now that we’ve got that sorted. How about you come to our place for dinner, when your parents leave?” Steve continued his actions, watching how your face slowly shows doubt. Before you can even answer, he continued while tucking some strands of your hair behind your ear “you know, we thought it would be a nice chance to get to know each other more. Some nice dinner meal to ease your shyness around us. Kind of like a sleepover, somehow.” He looked straight to your eyes, smiling.

And when Steve gave you a tender smile, your indecisiveness disappeared, finding yourself nodding before answering and accepting their offer. Eddie and Steve gave you a quick hug, before leaving your room. You stood in the middle of your room awkwardly, holding both of your cheeks on your hands.

“Wednesday.” You whispered to yourself, looking at your calendar “2 days after mom and dad leaves.”

20 minutes early.

You are 20 minutes early, standing awkwardly in front of the massive black oak door that you feel like will eat you one of these days. This is the first time you’ve visited Eddie’s house. Looking at his house with amazement on how gothic and mysterious his house looks like overall, the complete opposite to Steve. You love how the blacks and reds are evident on every exterior part of the house, even his garden, that you’re pretty sure the inside of his house would be the same. The metal dragon decorations kind of intimidating you.

You took a deep breath, adjusting your glasses and your knee-high socks. You went over your outfit in your mind once again, figuring that if you don’t like it anymore, you can always run back home, and change given that you’re early either way. You’re wearing a pink checkered skirt, paired with knee high socks that has some lace at the end while wearing a thick platform loafer shoes. You chose a cream cardigan, leaving the top and bottom buttons unbuttoned that fits your simple make-up and your low pig tails.

Shaking off your anxiety, you scold yourself on how you’re overreacting as if you’re going on a date with them when in fact its just going to be a friendly dinner. You ignore the dreadful gut feeling that you kept on getting throught the days leading up to the said dinner, repeating to yourself that everything will be fine and you’re with the adults that your parents trust either way.

Easing the nervousness out of you after a 5-minute pep talk, you gain the courage to finally press Eddie’s doorbell which made your insides queasy. The seconds dragged by as if they’re hours, thinking that maybe you should run back home now and text them that you have a stomach-ache or the flu. You were seriously considering it before the door opened, revealing Eddie in a loose metallica shirt and a black denim short that shows off more of his pale,tattoed skin. His pretty brown eyes widened as he open his arms for a quick hug to which you shyly gave him. “Oh sweetheart, look at you. So pretty.” His eyes scanned your whole body, loving how his flattery dusted your cheeks pink. “Mr. Munson, please.” “What did I say? Call me Eddie.” You giggled shyly, playfully giving his shoulder a shove.

You look fucking delicious in his eyes, how your whole existence is begging him to ruin you on the spot. The pigtails, the fucking skirt that he is pretty sure will show your ass to them if you lean over, and oh how your knee-high socks emphasise your thighs. You are perfect. Deliciously perfect for them to eat your innocence whole and not share it with the world.

Eddie’s smile widened, his name giving him goosebumps when you whispered it. “Just saying the truth,” he continued, guiding you inside his house. “Welcome to my humble abode” he gave you a quick tour on his living room, before finding your way towards the kitchen where you can hear someone moving around. “Is that our princess, Eds?” The nickname made you chuckle, scratching your nape embarrassingly while you walk towards Steve. “The one and only” the longer haired guy answered with a grin, pushing you softly towards Steve. Steve immediately swoons on how you’re dressed up, eyes wrinkling as he gives you the biggest smile. “Oh darling look at you! Is this all for us?” He cooed, giving him a playful shove like what you did to Eddie. Steve only chuckled, grabbing some plates to plate up the dinner he made. “I hope you’re a big fan of roast?” He asked to which you only nod.

Eddie grabbed some cutleries, motioning for you to follow him towards the dinner table. The table was decorated so beatifully, some red candles with gothic candle holders adorn the table making you gasp in awe. “These are like the ones from the book that I’ve read!” You exclaimed, clasping your hands together while Eddie laughs loudly at your reaction. “What type of books have you been reading, doll?” He playfully asks, pulling your chair out while Steve arranges your plate for you.

Their actions felt so domestic that you needed to pull your head out from the clouds and tell yourself that its just dinner between good friends and that they’re adults, they probably like women their age anyways. Women cooler than you. You were deep in thought before Steve served you a glass of juice and a glass of wine for him and Eddie. “Thank you for this” you tell them with a smile, sitting comfortably on your chair. Eddie just grinned while Steve waved his hand, telling you not to worry about it.

The dinner went too well that for the first time this evening, you weren’t feeling nervous or shy around them. You joked around while you tell them your hobbies, from baking to reading. Steve telling you how he wants to learn how to bake too, urging Eddie to tease him about his sudden decision about learning how to bake. Eddie told you briefly about his background, how he was in a band before earning a lot by being a producer and owning his own record store. Steve,meanwhile, told you about his job at his father’s company before making his own that handles sports and golf clubs. Your mouth was open the whole time, gasping and in awe on how they managed to accomplish so many things on their age to which they only shrugged before saying thank you with a humble smile.

You all moved to Eddie’s lounge room, after getting kicked out by the said man for trying to help with cleaning and washing the dishes. Steve told you about how him and Eddie met after they graduated highschool through common friends, even though they went to the same school. You asked him why, saying that he’ll tell you more about their highschool life once you warm up to them completely to which you just smile in an understanding way.

Eddie came to the lounge room, a bottle of whiskey in one hand while the other holds two glasses. He gently puts them on the table, looking at you. “So, we’ve figured out that since the night is still young, might as well drink a little. Do you want me to make you a cocktail, peach? I make some mean cocktails” Eddie gave you a smile, pouring some whiskey on his glass.

“Uhm I don’t know..” you answered, unconsciously fiddling with your fingers while you shift on your seat. “Aw, come on. It’ll be fun! Just to loosen up, nothing too hard.” Steve leaned in a bit, his smile tugging on your chest to say yes. You looked at Eddie that gave you just a smirk, tilting his head “anddd, your parents are not here. They won’t know, we won’t tell them. We promise. Scouts honour.” He held his left hand up, making you laugh “you’re not even a boy scout Mr. Munson— I mean, Eddie. But okay, fine.” You held your hands up in defeat, giving both of them a roll of your eyes, making Steve scoff while poking your sides saying how sassy you are; Eddie already gone to make you your sweet cocktail.

Eddie grabbed a margarita glass, quickly making work of a strawberry margarita while adding more strawberry puree on the mix to make it sweeter. He took a glance on where you and Steve are, making sure Steve is distracting you before sliding his hand on his back pocket to get a small baggie with a white powder. Putting in half of the bag on your drink before shaking it, he quickly puts it back on his back pocket before decorating your drink with fresh strawberries.

He went back to the lounge room, watching Steve laugh at your reaction when you took a big gulp on the whiskey. “Steve!” You cried before coughing, “you told me it will taste nice!” You pouted, huffing and crossing your arms while the bitter aftertaste of the alcohol lingered on your tongue. Steve only laughed harder, clutching his stomach “I did not tell you to drink almost half of it! Geez!” He wiped his teary eyes from laughing too hard, before calming down. Eddie sat beside you, handling you the pink concoction “Here you go mi lady, one strawberry margarita for you made by the best.” He boasted, giving Steve a side eye while the latter just returned it with a smirk, taking a sip of his almost empty whiskey.

“Are you sure this is sweet, Eddie? My first-time drinking alcohol and Steve made me drink a yucky one” you scrunched your nose in disgust, pouting to which Eddie cooed “trust me, I told you I will make you a mean cocktail. Drink slowly though, it might hit you too hard given that its your first-time drinking.” You eyed the margarita, before slowly taking a sip. Your eyes widened, a smile slowly creeping up your face “this tastes so so good!” You took more sips before giving Eddie a pat on the back “sorry for doubting you!” You giggled, loving the taste of the drink.

You hummed while drinking it, unaware of how both men are watching you while continuing your conversations with them. Unconsciously, you started talking animatedly about random topics about you, sipping you drink constantly as Eddie pours more to your glass. You just watched him while giggling, taking another sip. Time went by as all of you talked from one topic to the other then all of a sudden, you felt dizzy. Too dizzy for a 2 and a half glass of margarita.

You started fanning yourself, fiddling with your top as you try to remain seated and act that nothing is wrong. Biting your lip, you closed your eyes for a bit as another wave of dizziness washed over you, your heart racing while your body kept on getting hotter. You opened your eyes and held on to the couch, clutching it before letting out a soft gasp. “I-I don’t f-feel so good..” you whispered in a breathy way while looking at Steve. His face is holding an amused smirk as he watches you wriggle on your spot. “M-might’ve been... too— too m-much..” you slurred, slumping back to the couch as your fingers nimbly moved by itself, unbuttoning your cardigan to let your body cool. Eddie watched your movement, tongue licking his bottom lip at how you’re unravelling in front of them.

You started taking deep breaths, mind slowly leaving your body, feeling as if you’re melting onto the couch. Both men moved closer. Steve wiped your forehead, placing a tender kiss while your body is now covered in a light sheen of sweat. Eddie moved closer to your neck, leaving trail of soft, wet kisses. “Let go, baby. It’s alright, we got you. Want to see you crumble. Wanna see you break.” He whispered on your skin, making you whimper.

The whimper made Steve’s jaw slack, a deep growl erupting from his chest. “Let’s move her to the room,you got it all set up?” He asked Eddie, watching him carefully lift your body. “Of course.” Eddie smirked, his ring-clad fingers felt nice on your searing skin that you cannot help but mewl and chase the coolness,leaning more in his touch.

They placed you gently in the middle of the bed, Steve looking around to see if all cameras are working. They bought more just for this, thinking that one copy is not enough for them, they even bought an extra one that they can pass around so they can video you up-close. “U-ugh..” you kept on wriggling on the bed, your body trying to at least regain some control. You feel your body getting numb, though you kept on babbling while you cross your legs. There was a sudden urge that made your stomach tingle, wetness slowly dampening your cotton underwear.

The bed dipped, Steve and Eddie slowly removing articles of your clothing one by one which made you sigh in relief, the air and their fingers cooling your skin lightly. “Now baby, want us to help you? Its too much, isn’t it?” Eddie cooed, swiping his thumb on your bottom lip as you let out some soft gasps. He watches you try to answer, your pupils blown wide as you nod your head “y-yes.. yes.. too much f’me..” you whined, your eyes tearing up a bit. Steve grunted when you were left in your underwear, licking his lips nervously as his eyes darted from your bra to your wet cotton panties. “Fuck.” He murmurs, making Eddie look at you as well. “Its like she fucking knows” he laughed, his husky voice ringing in your ears.

Both men looked at each other, having an unspoken conversation. They know that once they do this, there’s no going back. The possible consequences if your parents find out, the judgement of other people, the guilt. Yet their desire and want for you overpowered all those thoughts, giving each other a firm nod.

Eddie unclasped your bra, letting your breasts spill free making him moan at the sight while Steve slid off your panties. His mouth salivated at the wetness, his long and thick fingers dipping slightly making you squirm while breathing heavily. Strings of your cum connected to his fingers before lifting it towards his mouth to suck it off. The action made Eddie’s cock harden, stripping himself off of his shirt and his jeans as Steve does the same, both men now kneeling on the bed only with their boxers.

“You want this, honey?” Steve asked, his hand holding your face as he grips it harshly making your eyes water. “Y-yes.. yes..” you mewled. Steve’s grip tightened slightly as his voice dipped “louder, honey. Need to hear it loud and clear.” His dominance made you shiver despite feeling like your soul left your body already. “Y-yes! Yes please—want it, want it.” You babbled, not even sure what you’re pleading about nor that you’re naked and at mercy of the two men you least thought would do this to you.

“Good girl.” Eddie praised you, following Steve on discarding his boxers. His hands grabbed the flesh of your thighs, spreading it to expose your cunt. “Fuck, look at how wet you are sweet girl... this is all for us yeah?” He asked, grinning from ear to ear as Steve moved away slightly to grab a video cam, recording your dripping pussy. “Come on, Munson. Time to show our sweetheart how good we can make her feel.” Steve urged, sitting behind you as he lifts you up a little, your back resting against his broad,hairy chest. You were boneless, easily maneuvered by them two. Your mind is foggy, watching Eddie’s head disappear between your thighs.

Eddie’s tongue gave your pussy tentative licks first, groaning at your sweetness. The vibrations went straight to your clit, making you moan. Steve held the camera directly pointing it at Eddie while he whispered to your ear. “That’s it, sweetheart. Moan for us, let us hear you.” His words made your pussy clench on nothing while Eddie eats you out. Heavy breaths from all 3 of you can be heard in the room besides the wet slick from how Eddie devours your pussy. His tongue going in and out as his thumb finds your clit to rub it in soft yet fast circles.

“Does it feel good, baby? Want us to do this to you since you met us, huh?” Steve nudged your head, waiting you to answer him. “Answer me, whore.” He commanded, making you cry out. “F-feel so.. feel so g-good I-I wan’ it s’bad feels nice s-so nice—“ your babbling got cut off when Eddie pushed one of his fingers in, not giving you enough time to savour it before he pulls it out, only to push it back in. It made you gasp softly as he adds another one, the feeling of his fingers and his tongue overwhelmed you.

You tried to close your legs, your eyes rolling back as you let moan after moan fall off your lips. “Fuck, you’re already losing your mind. Its not even our dicks yet!” Steve laughed, amused at how you’re wriggling under his hold while he flicks your nipple to make it hard under his touch. Eddie chuckled, continuing his ministrations. He is sucking harshly on your clit, flicking it occasionally while his fingers pump in and out of you. He felt you clench around his fingers, your thighs shaking while you cry out, feeling your cum coat his fingers.

Eddie groaned at the taste, lapping every drop before he moved his face away, fingers still inside you. “Such a naughty girl, did not even bothered to ask for permission before cumming.” He snorted, smacking your cunt with his other hand. Steve tsked in disapproval, pulling your head back by your hair, pigtails now ruined.

The harsh grip made you choke a sob, your scalp stinging at the action. Tears overflowed from your eyes, your eyesight blurry and out of focus. “We’ll let it slide for now, yeah? I forgot that sluts like you need to be taught first.” Steve saw your blown-out pupils, loving the control he had over you. He is vibrating with how much dominance he can exert over you, his blood pumping adrenaline all over his body knowing that they are the first ones that saw you like this. Held you like this. Breaking you like this. His cock is hard under you, slightly grinding it on your lower back for friction.

Eddie inserted his fingers into you once again, pumping it in a vigorous pace. You are now sobbing, trying to close your legs once again even though Steve is gripping both of your thighs wide open now. With your face scrunched in pleasure, you try to warn them that its too much even though you can’t form a coherent sentence. You felt a band snap inside you, before feeling something gush out of you. Eddie’s eyes widened, before continuing his actions. He started laughing darkly, continuing despite your slurred protest. “Shit! Did you see that, Harrington? We fucking got a squirter here!” He exclaimed, making Steve’s cock twitch. Eddie grabbed the camera with his other hand, zooming it in on your pussy as it squirts. He held his wet hand over your mouth as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing it inside your mouth. “Suck.” He ordered, watching you suck and clean his fingers messily.

You are far gone, your eyes glassy and blown while drool slowly build up on the sides of your mouth. Steve noticed how you don’t answer anymore, only mewls and moans kept leaving your mouth now. He gently dropped your torso on the bed, before positioning himself. “Eds— fuck— you gotta let me have her first man. I’m going to fucking explode.” A deep groan left his mouth, tugging on his cock to ease the dull pain of holding back. Eddie just sighed, tying his hair into a messy bun as he watches Steve collect some of your slick using his cock to lube himself. “Fine,” the elder mumbled, letting Steve grab your thighs to push it high once more, positioning it on a mating press.

Steve lined his cock on your entrance, watching your pussy clench in anticipation. Brushing his hair up with his shaky hand, not that his nervous. But the thought of corrupting you, fucking you first almost made him cum on the spot without being inside of you. He took a deep breath, eyeing your face as you look at him with unfocused eyes, propped up slightly with the pillows. He slowly pushed his huge cock in, watching your face contort in pain. Your hands moved a little, trying to grab his arms while you cry. Eddie held you, kissing your tear-stained cheeks. “Shh, it’ll be fine sweetheart. You’re taking Stevie so well.” Eddie whispered on your skin, hands playing and pinching your nipples to distract you from the discomfort. Steve kept pushing, inch by inch as he grinds his teeth.

You’re tight, too tight that Steve feels every part of your insides hugging his length. When he bottomed out, he released a breath, his forehead now graced with sweat as he waits for you to feel comfortable. Eddie, now sucking your breasts, playfully bit your nipple making you squeak and move your hips. Steve took this as a sign, pulling out until the tip before slamming back in, making you choke a sob. Steve moaned loudly, breathing ragged as he slowly find his pace. “Fuck,oh fuck— honey—“ he mumbled, his fingers gripping your thighs as if his life depends on it, dipping a little to fuck you in a deep angle.

His cock was hitting your cervix, his hips now snapping in an animalistic way that every thrust of his comes with a moan and strings of praises from him.

“Taking my length like a good girl”

“Yeah? Am I filling you up real good, princess?”

“Fuck, look at you. So fucked out. Your cunt is taking me so well like your fucking made for us.”

You only answered him with whines and moans, drooling from the pleasure that both men are making you feel. You answered every praise with a series of “ah ah ah” in rhythm with his every thrust, though a particular thrust made you cry out, nails raking over his arms as you try to hold him close. Steve chuckled, hitting the spot again. “Right there? God— you’re so beautiful.” He leaned in when Eddie backed away, his lips finding yours. Steve licked the sides of your lips to clean your mess slightly before slotting his on yours. He licked your bottom lip, making you open your mouth. Teeths clashing and tongues colliding, he savoured the feeling of your softness on his taste buds. Never have he felt on high like this for someone, the amount of pleasure doubled inside him. Your nails raked on his broad back as you try to hug him close, Steve’s head now burried on the side of your neck, leaving marks on your neck. You cry out in pleasure and overstimulation, face scrunched while feel your body chasing its high. Your climax hit you like a truck, sobbing as you feel your release while Steve continues to pound on you like a wolf in rut.

Eddie watched with envy and lust, tugging on his own cock to relieve some pressure while his other hand holds the camera to film you and Steve. His own patience wearing thin when he noticed the cream at the base of Steve’s cock while your thighs shake. Eddie wanted to shove his cock down your throat at the same time but held himself back knowing how oversensitive you might be to take them on both.

Steve groaned when he felt the stickiness of your release with every thrust, his hips slowly faltering, feeling himself close. “I’m so close honey— g-god you’re sucking me in so well. Want me to fuck you full, sweet girl?” Your hands gripped his arms again, trying to shake your head with how overstimulated you are. Steve only hissed, before pulling out of you to tug on his cock and spill his release on your stomach. He threw his head back, combing his hair while he spill every bit on you, watching it paint your stomach and chest. Your quivering thighs rests on the mattress, twitching slightly. Steve’s ragged breaths can be heard, smiling to himself. If this is how it feels every time he gets to taste you, then he will make sure that he gets to taste you every chance he gets.

With a sigh, Eddie pointed the camera on your wasted appearance. Eyes closed as your hair sticks to your forehead and skin wildly, lips red and slick with the amount of times you’ve bitten it out of pleasure, tears staining your cheeks in euphoria. Eddie held your face affectionately; his heart being squeezed in delight and softness as you open your eyes to look at him beneath your lashes. You leaned into his touch and sighed. The action made his skin heat up with want and need, letting go of the camera before holding your face between his hands to kiss you deeply. You softly hummed in the kiss, mouth quickly opening and letting Eddie explore every crevice of your mouth, his tongue toying yours as he slots himself in between you.

Eddie pulled away slowly, string of saliva connecting your lips as his hands explore every inch of you. His rough, calloused hands took its time with every curve as if savouring and burning it in his mind. Fuck his conscience, he wants you like this for him every time. When he felt your body relaxed under his touch, his lips found your sternum down to the vallety of your breasts, leaving trails of wet kisses and hickeys. Your hands found his hair, tangling your fingers as Eddie continues his actions. The slight tug of his hair when he sucked hard on your skin made his cock twitch, making him move away to flip you on your stomach.

He watched you relax on your forearms, eyes finding Steve as he sat down near the edge of the bed to watch you two. Body now relaxed as he took a quick smoke, eyes wrinkling as he smiles to the both of you. You just looked at him with hooded eyes, before you looked back at Eddie when you felt him slide his tip in your folds. “I’ll never get tired of this if this is what you look like every time you come undone.” He murmured, licking his bottom lip as he slowly inch his way in to you. Eddie’s eyes drinking how you back is arched deliciously, hands finding the curves of your waist to knead and grope.

The intrusion made you gasp, your eyes closing with the seansation once again. Eddie tried to pace himself knowing how rough Steve has gotten you, but the mixture of your cum and squirt, the tightness of your pussy and how it feels around him made it impossible. Once balls deep, he quickly found himself pulling back to his tip before slamming his hips onto you once again. The rough trust made you wantonly moan, gripping the sheets with your mouth agape.

It was a never-ending cycle of pleasure for you. Eddie’s hands now gripping your hips that he is sure will leave bruises on your skin, his balls slapping your clit as he gives you deep-fast thrusts to hit that one thing that makes you scream in need. You turned your head to the side, fresh tears now streaming down your cheeks, making Steve crawl towards you to wipe them away.

“Oh baby, such a perfect girl for us. Cannot ask for more.” He whispers in awe, soft lips kissing your heavy eyelids as you take every inch of Eddie’s cock, your nose scrunching in pleasure as Eddie finds your clit once again, this time rubbing it fast. He felt you clench on him, making his hips falter for a bit and a his felt out of his lips before continuing his punishing pace. You cry out as you feel him pull your hair, your puffy cunt gushing out slick because of the sting of his action, your walls crumbling down as your release shock you.

Eddie huskily moaned, cream forming at the base of his cock once more while you try to crawl away from him, feeling so spent and overstimulated, making his grip on your hips tighten to the point that you feel his rings kiss your skin. He continued abusing your g-spot with every thrust, his breathing heavier that earlier, chasing his own high that is so close he can feel it all over his body. “F-fuck— peaches I-I’m— I’m gonna cum on this fucking pussy— s-so fucking good—“

He spanked your ass, groping the flesh when it became red. He spanked it again and again, feeling you clench every time. His thumb ghosted slightly on your puckered hole, mumblig to himself how him and Steve will use it one of these days. The sensation made his breath hitch, hips coming to a still before he pulls out to tug on his cock and spill his every bit of his cum on your back, “fuck!” He loudly exclaimed. Eddie threw his head back, strings of curses falling out of his mouth. He slumped down on the bed, chest heaving to chase his breath, staring directly at your abused cunt that is dripping your juices. Your body gave up, laying down flat on the bed with your thighs slightly shaking.

Eddie and Steve looked at your tired form, chest swelling with a mixture of emotions. Guilt, pride, a certain affection and softness towards you. Now that they have you on their palms, yor taste on their tongue, they won’t let you go no matter what you say.

Both Steve and Eddie stood up. Eddie turning the cameras off and grabbing some boxers for him and his best friend. While Steve directly went straight to the bathroom to grab a wash cloth and ran it under lukewarm water to clean up the mess they made on your body. The men gently laid you on your back, your quiet snores can be heard as they clean you up and make you comfortable the best that they could, placing you in between them.

Steve slid his arm under your head while Eddie’s arm draped over your chest to give you a hug and cuddle you, “I know we planned this out but— I don’t think we can really let her go after this.” Eddie mumbled, sleep slowly crawling on his system while looking at you. Steve only chuckled, careful not to wake you up, combing his hair. “Me too. That was just— fucking phenomenal.” Both men knew that at that moment, they’ll have you any way possible and have every inch of you.

As the night settles, the cool air of Hawkins made its way to the room you all shared, where soft and steady breaths can only be heard while both men cuddled you. Steve’s thoughts ran at all the things that might happen when you wake up, while Eddie’s full of thoughts about how quickly their obsession with you is pulling them in deeper and deeper, yet both held no remorse for what they have done.

The sun rays were peeking through the room��s heavy maroon curtains, one particular ray shining across your face. You grunt, body slowly trying to twist into a more comfortable position while your head throbs. Trying to turn, you felt restricted with two set of arms holding you, making your body jolt to sit up. Your eyes immediately opened, ignoring the harsh sunlight and the throbbing pain of your head as you look around the room.

This isn’t your room. Too far from your usual décor. Your face slowly pales at the realisation, before you feel someone shift beside you. You looked down and saw a pair of familiar tattoed arms laid across your stomach, and a mop of chestnut hair resting on the other side. You felt both of their touches on your skin, making you look down and realising that you are naked. Its like a bucket of ice water was splashed against you, a gasp escaping your dried throat that almost choked you when your hands found its way to your mouth to cover the shock. You tried to wiggle out of their hold, the situation slowly sinking on you as you try to remember what brought you on the bed with them. You ignored Eddie’s soft grunts when you tried to move his arms away, trying to crawl out of bed as a wave of nausea hits you.

“Peach?” Eddie grunted, his voice low and deep, brown eyes slowly opening to look at you. Eddie’s voice made Steve shuffle close to your naked body, his voice laced with sleep when he noticed you sitting up “Sweetheart, come back to bed please.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes when the sunlight hits him. You shook your head, a shaky breath escaping your lips as you successfully crawled out of the bed.

Your feet found the cold floor, your legs slightly trembling, taking notice of the slight stickiness between your legs which made you hold yourself. Quickly making your way towards the open door of the bathroom, you saw your reflection which made tears cascade on your cheeks and bile slowly rising up your throat.

Steve and Eddie quickly followed your form, clad in only their boxers. They stayed outside near the open door, watching you take yourself in the mirror. Your hair is dishevelled, hickeys littered across your skin. You looked down and saw some bruises near your hips and thighs along with some more marks that both men did. It made the bile rise up your throat quickly, flinging yourself towards the toilet bowl as you retched and vommited everything inside your stomach. Both men quickly went inside, Eddie holding your hair up while Steve rubs your back soothingly, not one of them saying a word.

Emptying more than what your stomach had, you sobbed loudly on their touch when Steve wiped your mouth gently with a cloth. Your mind is not comprehending what is happening, nor remembering how it became like this. You cried out in frustration as you think of the night before, always getting stuck on the part where you had drinks, making you cover your face in shame and guilt. “Shh, shh, come on honey. Let’s get you back on the room.” Steve softly whispered, helping Eddie guide your boneless form while you continue to cry.

You sobbed even when they were putting one of Eddie’s shirt on you and making you take some sips of water, your body feeling uncomfortably sticky. You have never imagined your first time like this. Losing your virginity like this. For you, you always thought that your first time would be with someone you dated for a long time that you cannot help but love them. Soft dances, gentle caresses and touches that won’t leave marks. All those romance books made you think that your first time should be a gift to the guy you’ll love for the first time as well. The shame of losing it this way made you sobbed harder, your heartbeat quickening as you get overwhelmed with all the emotions hitting you all at once.

Your train of thought was shattered when both of them kneeled in front of you, Steve rubbing soft circles on your thighs while Eddie holds your hand. “Breathe,baby. Breathe.” The older of the three of you whispered, brown eyes holding pity when you wipe your tears, looking through blurry eyes at the both of them. “Why..?” You manage to croak out, voice raspy and rough making you cough a bit.

Steve gave Eddie a quick look before he speaks “You wanted it, sweetheart. You told us last night.” He spoke gently, a pang of guilt hitting him when he said those words, but he knows that he needs to do this in order to have you fully. “W-what?” You mumbled in disbelief, “b-but I-I can’t remember last night—! I-I’m trying to but I c-can’t!” You cried out, hands gripping your hair in annoyance as you keep on trying to remember. “I-I lost my virginity this way when I— I told myself I won’t— this is wrong..” you told them, wiping your tears. The word made Eddie’s jaw tick in annoyance, Steve’s stare turning dark. “I-I’m sorry Mr. Harrington, Mr. Munson I-I— this is wrong— I m-must’ve been— this was a mistake I-I’m sorry.” You try to get out of their hold, planning to scramble your way out with your clothes on your arms but was cut off when Eddie stood up, his neck red as he try to control his emotions when you kept on saying that it was a mistake.

“Mistake?” He scoffed, crossing his inked arms over his chest as he looks down on you, the warmth pooling his brown eyes now gone. “Mistake? Sweetheart—“ he leaned down a little, watching you look up at him beneath your lashes. “You asked for it.” The deep timbreof his voice made your skin crawl, shaking your head in disbelief, looking down to meet Steve’s eyes that are now stern cold. “You did ask for it. In a sweet way too.” Steve answered with a smile not reaching his eyes, fingers fiddling with the frayed end of the shirt you’re wearing before he continues “Do you think we’ll do this if you did not ask?” Your mouth hanged open, stuttering with what they both said “I-I that’s— T-that’s not how I—“ you try to reason out, feeling your throat constrict in anxiety.

“Not how you what?” Eddie asked out of annoyance “not how you act when drunk? How would you know when its your first time drinking?” His harsh tone made you feel small, blinking your tears away. Steve only hummed, still kneeling in front of you. “Y-Yes! But- but I would not react that way— I-I know myself! I—“ you argued, looking frantically at both of them. Your stubborness made both of them sigh, Steve standing up suddenly to walk away and grab something.

Your eyes followed him, wearing only nothing but sweatpants. You noticed him holding a video camera, face now void of emotion before putting it on your lap. “Here ya’ go. Maybe this will refresh your memory?” You stared at him in confusion before looking back up at Eddie that only motioned for you to go on. “Open it.” He mumbled while your trembling hands try to figure out how to turn the video camera on. “Now press this one, the gallery.” Steve asked you to, hitting play after you follow his instructions. Your stomach churns in anxiety when the video immediately started.

Your eyes widened when you watched Eddie’s face disappeared between your thighs, your ears not believing that all the needy whimpers heard from the video came out of your mouth. “Yeah? You like that sweet girl? Told you, all you just need to do is ask.” Steve’s voice can be heard despite all your whimpers, Eddie chuckling when he moved away slightly to slide in his finger inside you, making you moan really loudly. The obscene noises you all made pricked your skin with goosebumps. The video continued, closing your eyes when you heard Eddie say “Shit! Did you see that Harrington?! We fucking got a squirter here!” And as you cry out on the video saying “more, please. P-please..”

Eddie noticed you closing your eyes, huffing before he took hold of your face. “Open your eyes and watch. See if you didn’t asked for it.” You felt helpless, only nodding while your lower lip tremble, trying to hold your tears in. Steve played the next video, the camera pointing towards your face and torso, tears evident as Steve pounded your pussy roughly. His harsh breaths and moans can be heard mix with yours. The camera focused on his cock going in and out of you, making Steve’s cock harden while he watch the video with you.

“God— you love being fucked like this don’t you?’ You only hummed as an answer in the video, making Steve thrusting into you deep. “What? I can’t hear you honey.” He teasingly asked, making you answer loudly “uh-huh! Wan’it!” You looked so fucked out in the video, arms holding him close when he leaned in for a kiss. Steve pressed next which played Eddie’s video, fucking you from behind. His rough hands spanking your meaty ass, watching it jiggle before groping it. You heard Eddie mumble when his thumb touched your ass hole “me and Steve will be using this soon, right doll?” You watched in disbelief till his cum painted your back, making you turn off the camera.

You did not notice that tears were streaming down your face again, looking at both men in disbelief while your mind screams at how disappointing you are. With a trembling hand, you handed them the camera while shaking your head. “N-no. No—“ you covered your mouth in shock before breaking down. Your whole body trembled, making Eddie sit down beside you like Steve. Both of them holding you close.

You don’t have the energy to push them away or deny their touches despite it bringing you an odd sense of comfort. Steve and Eddie held you for a few minutes which felt like house, waiting for your breathing to calm down. “Now that you’ve watched it, do you believe us now..? I told you, it wasn’t just us that wanted it. You wanted it first..” Steve whispered, tucking some strands of your hair behind your ear that sticked to your skin because of your tears. “You kept on begging us! I knew we should’ve took evidence of it from the very start, right Eds?” Steve asked the elder that is now resting his face on your shoulder. “Yep, should have recorded how clingy you were, how polite even. You mommy and daddy raised you right,huh?” The mere mention of your parents sent your mind into a frenzy, body shaking when you begin to sob uncontrollably again “Please! P-please don’t tell— don’t tell t-them please! M-mommy and daddy—!” You were slowly panicking, mind drifting that Steve held your face between his hands. “Oh honey, no. No, we won’t tell them. Cause now, you are also our good girl. Right?” His thumb wiped some of your tears away as you stare at him before turning your head slightly to find Eddie already looking at you.

“Mhm, should be our good girl if we don’t want you mommy and daddy finding out, huh?” Eddie huskily whispered on your tear-stained cheeks,making you gulp. Steve looked at you in anticipation, cocking an eyebrow waiting for an answer. You slowly nodded your head, head hurting from getting overwhelmed that your body doesn’t have the energy to go against too. “Words, honey. Use your words now, come on. Say that you’re our good girl forever and we won’t let your mommy and daddy find out” Steve’s voice was clipped, tone serious when he looked down on you. “Y-your good girl..” you mumbled, eyes looking down when you felt both of them grin.

It’s only morning but your body felt tired as if you’ve spent the whole day awake. Your mind too numb while you feel like the room closes in on you, you closed your eyes, sighing in what you’re not sure if its because you’re tired or if its because you accepted your defeat. The shame and guilt that you did this all on yourself. Steve and Eddie’s words sinking in deep inside your mind. You let go, resting your head on Eddie’s which made Steve chuckle darkly.

“There she is. Finally found our good girl, Munson.”

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f4ggydog · 10 days ago

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Sub Doggy/werewolf nat.... Just throwing it out there... And maybe projecting a little -🐶🪓 (taking this if it isnt taken already)

nat’s tail wags instantly when he lays eyes on you. it’s incredibly pathetic, but you’re such a benign individual that you decide not to be cruel right now. just for now. maybe later, you’ll bully the shit out of him because he looks so cute when he’s getting picked on. but, you have to take care of your subs sometimes. don’t want too much of the degradation to get to their heads and discourage them, do you?

nat faces the other way when you sit next to him. nat knows for a fact that he blushes easily, since you’ve 100% pointed it out to him before. it gets him shy when you make those comments. and unfortunately, nat is still unnerved by the idea of removing his tough persona.

he can’t disguise himself for long, though. one poke at his side and he’s already giggling, lightly swatting your hands away and telling you to stop. his wolf teeth look even more adorable when he’s got a smile on his delightful face.

you squeeze both of his cheeks, wanting to completely strangle him with love. you could squeeze for eternity or until you cause him to explode. sometimes you wish you could see his little head pop when you hugged too hard.

“sweet boy,” you coo as nat crawls into your lap. “you smell so good. is that your pheromones or some cologne you bought for me?”

“you know i don’t really fuck with cologne,” nat mumbles, head resting on your legs. “are you saying i don’t smell good?”

“of course not.” you pat nat’s head and scratch behind his ears. he still remains pretty ticklish by that part of his body and he wiggles in response like a little worm.

“t-tickles,” nat whines, pawing at your chest. “baby….”

“are you getting all soft on me?” you speak in a tender voice. “being such a needy baby boy right now.”

you poke nat on the nose and he scrunches it.

“don’t give me that face. you know you would’ve bit me already if anybody else did this to you.”

oh, nat’s been caught red-handed. he’s got a soft spot for you. he feels less of the need to treat you with talons and claws and thorns when you stick by his side. nat’s not a morally corrupt person. he’s just selective with who he believes he can trust. but thankfully, you make it to the top of his list. and you surely take full of advantage of how quick that boy is to drop onto his knees for you.

you drop your hand into nat’s jeans, making him grind against your palm in an instant. your hand slithers around until you can push past his boxers and locate his tdick. and of course it’s already throbbing. what a little slut.

“baby,” nat whines, frowning. “w-what are you doing?”

“don’t worry about it. don’t you want me to take care of you?”

“but baby…”

“natty,” you say more sharply. “remind me again what happens to pups when they go into heat. what becomes my responsibility?”

“y-you can’t tell that im in heat though,” nat pouts, stuck in a massive stage of denial.

“who do you think you’re fooling?” you shake your head, fondling nat’s erect tdick. “you’re not a very good liar, baby boy. don’t play those games with me.”

“n-not trying to play games,” natty mewls. “just want you to take care of me. just need you to h-help me.”

“i knew you did,” you grin pridefully. “now, don’t act so bashful when i call you out. your little submissive nature is our little secret baby, right? unless you want the others at camp to know how it only takes one touch for you to melt into a giant puddle.”

#natalie scatorccio #natalie yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio x reader #nat scatorccio #yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #asks #blurb

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hereforhalstead · 1 year ago

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Pretty Girl

I’ll be honest, it’s midnight and I can’t sleep so here you go!

I also didn’t really imagine Jay for this (it was actually Trevor Wagner lol) so I didn’t use any names but feel free to picture detective chuckles in your reading!

also, if you think it’s rubbish. I agree but what are we gonna do?!

*****

‘I cant believe I’m gonna text him’

You scoffed to yourself, eyeing the phone you held in your hand, thumb hovering over his name on your chat list on whatsapp. Almost daring yourself not to give into the desires you knew you craved and that he could so easily fulfil.

‘are you awake?’

You sounded like a foolish teenager, thinking that sounded better than the stereotypical ‘you up?’ at 3am text. Spoiler alert, it didn’t.

You almost threw your phone on the ground, it landing face up beside you as your knees were instinctively bought to your chest in panic, regretting sending the text as soon as you pressed send.

Almost instantly, the phone lit up. You could see it from the corner of your eye, reluctant to look down.

You peered over your arm, wincing as you read the message through squinted eyes.

‘Of course, darling’

Your heart melted, your stomach flipped, your heart rate quickened.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t feel this way.

He told you not to fall for him.

Yet what did you do, oh yeah.

You fell absolutely head over heels, 100%, life consumingly in love with him. Good one.

Mere moments had passed, you hadn’t unlocked the phone as you sat and mustered a response.

He hardly gave you much to go from, did you completely out yourself and admit why you messaged him or did you play it off with a simple ‘cool’?

Your phone once again, lit up in your hand. Your eyes darting to the screen without a second thought or hesitation as you scanned the words on the screen.

‘any particular reason you wanted to know, pretty girl?’

Shit, even through a screen he had you backed against a virtual wall. Making the hunger for him to have you actually pushed up against a wall, ten times more intense.

‘just wondered if you wanted to come over, cant sleep’

You laughed at the innocent sad face added to the end, feeling the complete opposite and knowing he would see through it.

The grey ticks turned to blue as soon as you sent the message, quickly exiting out of the chat as though you didn’t want to seem desperate.

Not like your phone was now stuck to your hand with your eyes not leaving the screen as you wait for his response.

‘Poor baby, not sure how I would be able to help though?’

You could practically see the smug grin on his face, arm folded behind his head to prop himself up against the headboard of the bed. Thumb dancing over the keypad as he probably typed out all the ways in which he could help, before deleting them as if nothing happened.

‘oh no!’

You yet again, sarcastically added the exclamation. Clearly having too much fun with the situation yourself now.

‘guess I will just have to try someone else’

Ordinarily you wouldn’t have sent such a text, you didn’t have anyone else you could ask, the ‘lucky’ bunch stored in your phone who you could text at early hours of the morning to come over.

Even if you did, you wouldn’t want anyone else. Just him.

You wanted to see how far you could push him, knowing the way his eyes would’ve darkened with reading the message.

Probably reading it a few times to ensure he read it right, phone clutched in his hand, bringing it up to his pursed lips in frustration.

It took a significantly less amount of time to yet again see ‘typing’, flash up next to his name on the chat. Your heart rate though the roof as you hear your phone chime.

‘darling you are funny, we both know you wouldn’t dare’.

You sat on his response for a minute or two, letting him sweat as he could see you’d read the message.

‘goodnight sweet cheeks’

You were proud of yourself for your blunt response, even if he didn’t reply, you’d sure be obscenely offended but you wouldn’t be shocked.

If he had sent you a message even close to that, the phone probably would’ve been launched across the room and loud groan that could’ve been heard from down the corridor of your apartment building.

The grey ticks, stayed grey for what felt like an eternity. In fact, you stared at the screen for 4 solid minutes, waiting.

You huffed, regretting your text. Had you ruined it? Took it too far?

He could be an annoying prick sometimes and knew exactly how to push your buttons, especially when it came to making you jealous but in all honestly you couldn’t imagine him sending you a message like the one you had sent.

The room was silent, you took yourself over to the mirror as if you needed to take a long hard look at yourself, but in actual fact you just chuckled. Grow up.

You needed to test him, needed to see how he felt. If he wanted you, he would.

Simple as that.

If you were going to keep falling for him, the least you could do was find out if you were both kind of on the same page, even the same book would be good!

You continued to stare in the mirror as you got ready for bed, accepting your defeat and pondering on how you’ll deal with such rejection on a clear mind in the morning.

Scraping your hair into a ponytail, you saw your phone light up on the bed. Seeing his name flash at the top of the screen with the green and red ‘accept’, ‘decline’ buttons staring you in the face.

You froze.

He knew you hated phone calls, especially when he hadn’t told you he was going to call. Prick.

Your thumb hit the accept button before your brain could scream at you to let it go to voicemail, holding the phone to your ear to hear that raspy voice you so desperately craved.

‘I’m outside, little one. You gonna come and let me in or should I try buzzing someone else?’

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead smut #one chicago x reader #jay halstead drabble #jay halstead x you #chicago pd imagine #trevor wagner

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dykedvonte · 10 months ago

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A Defense of Benny Gecko

Benny is more of a capable leader and person than people give him credit for.

Seeing as no one challenged his position as head Chairmen for 7 years and even then he only loses the position if he’s caught, killed or forced to leave. Yes, it’s also likely House wouldn’t have allowed him to be killed but he sure as hell would of found a way to remove him if he was causing too much unrest within The Tops power structure. Even Swank and Tommy don’t outright dislike him and more so are concerned with his recent secretive and shady behavior, emphasis on recent.

Taking all we know into consideration, Benny likely knew the future direction that he wanted to take Vegas but was so caught up in the plans to acquire Vegas that he didn’t think of how to make his dream a reality. Something he admits to in canon. I see this being used as the main argument that Benny doesn’t know what he’s doing at all but I see it more in the same vein as you can’t really plan something from nothing. The transformation of Vegas is a sensitive thing that he can’t really work on until he has it. The only reason he ran to the Fort prematurely is the Courier who was causing so much of a stir he would’ve likely been found out much faster, making all that planning for nothing if he didn’t take that chance.

Benny is careful (well a lot more careful than he is regularly depicted in fanon), the Courier being able to trace him was dumb luck on their part and his hair being noticed at the Fort is a realistically small oversight that even Caesar is disappointed in because he admits Benny got farther than he should’ve been allowed by his legionaries. The fact he can plan an ambush on the Courier or tries to quickly and concisely clean up lose ends that don’t lead back to him shows he’s not just acting on impulses or in the moment decisions. Or rather he’s quite good at thinking them out, whether they work depends on how you play really. This is all to say it’s 100% believable that Benny could lead an independent Vegas (house was basically setting him up to do that). If he had known explicitly that House was setting him up to replace him, he likely would’ve bought more time by getting in closer, learning more of the system to then flip House’s edge to his favor. Again something he was doing already but likely without the knowledge of House’s feelings on him personally.

No matter what, Vegas’ future was tied to Benny; House’s plans for him, having to get the chip and if he had somehow succeeded. It’s also interesting that of all the people vying for control of the dam/Vegas, Benny’s plans are the only ones actually oriented towards a new future, not a recreation of something long past.

#something something despite going against you Benny has the most in common with an independent player #he’s just like an asshole and also knows when he’s no longer in the driver seat so he leaves it to you #cause despite all his lame traits Benny got supper far in his plan and likely could’ve done it if the courier never got involved #if he didn’t have the need to run to the fort he would’ve waited to learn what the chip did and then made a more direct plan but when a big #clue to what he’s been up to cough the courier cough came he had to throw caution to the wind #this is sorta related to why house chose Benny and his plans for Benny cause likely the rest of house plans were gonna be #about getting Benny to adopt his ideals and views on Vegas before testing whether Benny could run it like him #and would’ve likely been proud of all the planning Benny did for Yes Man if it wasn’t for it being against him #all I can imagine is like Benny being more disappointed than anything with how house decided to run things and he holds nothing personal #towards house this is a necessity as house will never give up control kinda like bingo but I feel like Benny at least respected Bingo #something something bingo could’ve been a father figure making killing him more of a reason Benny would go against house cause he murders #a potential parental figure thinking it’s what he has to do for the betterment of his tribe only to feel like he led them to stagnation and #a longing for days gone by cause the guy who filled ur head with glittery promises ain’t sparkling no more #and makes the resistance to a parental house make more sense #fallout #fallout new vegas #benny gecko #benny fnv

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trblsvt · 2 years ago

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★ my favorite lyrics + seventeen

pairing | ot13 x fem!reader genre | angst, hurt comfort (?), fluff (if you squint?) warnings | references to sex/suggestive, swearing, situationships! ALSDKJ, toxic relationships, actual breakups, heartbreak, and relationship angst, cheating/infidelity (?) in one section (it’s a first date, but someone gets distracted), alcohol consumption min | lowercase intended. and honestly i say fem!reader but i don’t think i used any pronouns that indicate gender identity. (keeping the tag to stay safe). some (most if not all) of these songs came from my top 100 songs of last year. and most of these are kind of sad... sorry

choi seungcheol “you're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night. i'm scared that i'll miss you, happens every time” - die for you by the weeknd

you just didn’t get it, he thought to himself. you were looking for something that he couldn’t give you, or something he didn’t know how to give you. he couldn’t stop thinking about the way your eyes were welling up after he told you that he wasn’t trying to gain anything else from the relationship.

“so this is all i mean to you? just a thing to use when you’re bored?” you asked, quietly. it appeared that had taken every ounce of fire out of you.

of course not, he thought. i’d do anything for you.

“yes,” he confirmed. why did i say that? he thought again.

“get out of my house, choi seungcheol.”

ouch. you knew he hated being called his full name, especially by you. he remembered when you did it jokingly and he held that stupid pout on his lips for almost two hours. (that is until you went over to him and planted kisses all over his face).

he didn’t understand what was so wrong with what the two of you had going on. he thought you were happy. it worked out great. together, but not actually together. after the first time he spent the night, he realized how strong his feelings for you were. they were so far beyond anything he had ever felt before. now how was he supposed to explain that to you.

“no,” he said simply.

“i don’t want to see you anymore, seungcheol, so leave!” you yelled at him. “i’ve wanted more from you ever since i met you, but now i can see that’s something you’ve never wanted.”

“that’s not true.”

“then tell me, seungcheol! what am i missing? because you just told me i’ve been nothing but your plaything while i was putting my heart in your hands.”

“i’m scared that i’ll miss you too much.”

you froze.

“i’m so scared that if i give myself to you, the way you deserve, it’ll just hurt more when you realize that i’m not the one for you. i can barely think when i’m away from you. i don’t think i’ll be able to breathe if i’m actually with you. i miss you so much just when i leave after every night. i don’t know how to give you what you want. i don’t even know where to start. i’m sorry.” he didn’t know when he started crying, but he was. he diverted his gaze to the floor. his heart wouldn’t only hurt more if he looked at you. his heart would hurt and he’d only miss you more when you told him to leave again. so he was surprised when he felt your hands come up and wipe his tears away. “then try,” you mumbled softly. “try.”

yoon jeonghan “and the funny thing is i would've married you if you'd have stuck around” - doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

there you were. as beautiful as the day when he last saw you. you were just sitting there reading at a table in the local cafe the two of you frequented when you were together. “jeonghan?” you asked, standing up from your place.

shit. was he staring?

“hi, ___,” he finally responded.

“i knew you looked familiar,” you laughed, and he wished he could keep it forever. “i see that you’re growing your hair out again, it looks nice.”

“thanks.” he would never change his hairstyle ever again.

“come sit, it’s been a while.”

so he sat.

he sat and he listened as you talked. how you finished your degree. how you finally bought an apartment that you actually liked. how you got that dog you always wanted. how you got promoted at work. and how you had a great new boyfriend, and that said boyfriend was meeting you in the next fifteen to twenty minutes. “so what about you, jeonghan? how’s work? how’s joshua? i bet you have all the ladies after you,” you joked.

he could say it. he could say that he was still so deeply in love with you. he could say “i love you” over and over again to make up for the times when he didn’t. he could say that he wanted you to break up with your boyfriend. he could say that he hasn’t been able to find someone else without comparing them to you in every way possible. he could even say that he wished every night that he was the one in your dreams in the same way you were in his.

yet, he didn’t, not after what he did. it would be wildly inappropriate to tell you that, especially when you seemed so happy without him. so all he said was, “oh you know me, pretty average. it was really nice to catch up with you.”

you gave him a look, and he somehow knew he was busted. “i don’t hate you for what you did, jeonghan. know that, alright? we were both a bit too immature for one another. i would’ve married you in heartbeat though, even if it meant you left me with all your broken pieces,” you sighed. “i loved you, jeonghan.”

loved.

“and i’m certain you will find someone who loves you as much as i did you.”

but i love you.

“thank you, ___. truly,” was all he said, but wasn’t what he wanted to say.

hong joshua “and i'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all i've ever had. yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back. do you love me, want me, hate me?” - 1 step forward, 3 steps back by olivia rodrigo

“clearly i’ve wasted my time my time on you,” you finally said. that shut him up. “you can’t possibly mean that,” he stammered, but the blank look on your face told him otherwise.

“i can’t be the only person invested in this relationship, joshua!” you sighed.

“who said you were?” you scoffed at that. joshua had been wildly absent from your relationship, opting to hang out with friends playing basketball, eating out, watching movies. really doing anything except be with you. “well it sure fucking feels like, joshua,” you grumbled.

“what did you say?” he sounded angry, but the look on his face looked more confused than anything. damn his face. damn that perfect smile. damn those kind eyes that kept you crawling back to him even if he stood you up for the third time that week. “i said it feels like i’m the only person putting anything into this relationship. when you told me that you wanted to go beyond just fucking i really believed you, and i was actually excited about getting to put an actual label on whatever we had. but now, i don’t fucking know how to act around you. you stood me up at least three times last week, and i-”

“what do you want from me, ___? i showed up tuesday night and we watched all the movies you wanted, didn’t we?” he interrupted.

unbelievable.

“yeah, and then when you said we could hang out on friday night you suddenly ditched me. not only that, seungcheol told me you guys went to play basketball on friday and proceeded to go out to dinner afterwards,” you huffed. “it’s like we make some sort of progress in this - this - whatever this is - and then you do something that sets us back!”

“god, do you need to be with me all the fucking time. you’re so clingy,” he grumbled under his breath, but you heard him.

“clingy? i’m only upset because you said you were going to be there. you said you were free and that you wanted to hang out. i’m upset because you don’t even give me the simple courtesy of saying ‘oh hey i’m sorry something came up’ or ‘i actually can’t, i had plans with the guys.’ but no, i don’t hear anything from you. to think i actually love you. fuck you, hong,” you spat, grabbing your things and heading out his door before he could stop you.

“wait! love? you love me? ___!” he called after you, but you were over it. despite how much it hurt your heart to leave behind his stupid laugh, his stupid music taste, and his stupid eyes that you’re quite sure you probably won’t get over.

ironically enough, that was the first time you said “i love you,” and probably the last.

wen junhui 请快回来想听你说说你还在 “please come back quickly, i want to hear from you that you are still there” - unbreakable love by eric chou

he knew you were sick of waiting around for him. work was hard and so was maintaining a relationship. a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. when he began going away for extended periods of time you always called or texted when you were about to go to sleep or when you woke up in the morning.

then he started going away more.

he was around less.

couldn’t call you back as often as he once did.

then you started contacting him less.

the messages that held the run-downs about your days became infrequent and then rare. he reached out too, but calls and messages were brief. he began wondering what he was even trying for anymore. his friend, minghao, began to notice this. he noticed jun frowning at his phone more, or he looked more anxious by the end of the day like he was running late to something.

he knew you were probably busy. he couldn’t expect you to wait around for his calls, but his brain told him otherwise. it told him that maybe you were tired of waiting around for him.

he was sitting in minghao’s hotel room eating some lame takeout for the nth time this week. minghao could tell that jun was not focused on his meal or in the conversation they were having. “you should probably just call ___,” minghao suggested.

“what if, what if it’s a bad time?” jun countered, a weak defense.

“just call, wimp. worst case scenario: leave a voicemail,” minghao shrugged.

“fine. see you tomorrow.”

“you owe me for the food.”

“yeah, yeah.”

jun made his way back to his own hotel room and pulled up your contact. “just do it,” he grumbled and pressed call. he sat down on his bed as he listened to the ringing. on the fifth ring you picked up. there was loud music in the back with muffled voices. “jun? hey, babe,” you yelled.

“hi, ___. i was just checking in to see how you’re doing. i’m coming back home next week,” he sighed, feeling a bit more at ease.

“that’s great, junnie! i’m looking forward to it.” you sounded absentminded. “am i interrupting something?” he asked.

“oh, well, it’s my friend’s birthday party and she’s going a bit off the rails. can i call you back later?” you explained as lightly as possible. you knew how he got about this kind of stuff. “oh yeah, totally. you should’ve told me earlier, i don’t want to interrupt your fun. have fun,” he said pulling the phone down from his ear, not hearing how you paused and tried to call out to him.

so you do have better things to be doing. he understood. you were your own person, but it had been so long since he had even spoken to you. maybe you didn’t want to wait around anymore. then he saw all the posts that you shared of you out having fun, without him. you looked happier. he dwelled on it for longer than he should’ve.

he dwelled on it for another three hours and then his phone rang. he picked it up without looking at the caller id. “hello?” he answered.

“jun, are you okay? you hung up so abruptly back there. i just got back home,” you asked, you sounded concerned.

“do you still want to be with me?”

“what - yes. why would you ask?” you sputtered. never once did you have a doubt in your relationship with jun. you understood that it was hard, with him being away and all, but you would always be around to wait for him. “i don’t want to make you feel like you’re waiting for nothing. i leave for weeks, come back for one, and leave for three more,” he sighed. “i don’t want to weigh you down.”

“do you think a little distance is going to break us, jun?” you chuckled.

“i don’t know! just either be there when i get home or tell me you can’t wait around any longer,” he cried. it was disheartening to hear him like this. you never wanted anything more than him. the type of love you had with jun was beautiful and it would cross seas if necessary.

“i’ll be here for as long as you want me, jun. now, come home quickly. i miss you.”

kwon soonyoung “you only call me on the weekend. you only love me when we freakin'” - the weekend by bibi

you were trying to slip out unnoticed. soonyoung had passed out essentially right after the two of you cleaned up. he had insisted that you should stay the night. you tried to refuse, but the way he looked so tired and sweet when he basically begged you to lie down in his arms.

and you were weak, so you did.

except, when he fell asleep in the crook of your neck you were still wide awake. you heard his phone going off and being nosy you looked to see notification after notification from his other hookups, and you were suddenly reminded why you were in the first place. you needed to leave.

you tried your best to maneuver your way out of his grasp. you were slipping on your socks when he stirred. “where are you going?” his voice worn.

“i have an early day tomorrow, i need to get back to my place,” you lied.

“liar.”

“excuse me?” how in the world could he possibly call you on something when he was half asleep?

“you’re running. just stay the night. it can’t hurt.” oh, but it could. the question was: would it hurt more to tell him or to just keep the arrangement as is? before you could weigh your options, your mouth had already taken over. “it would hurt,” you said. “it already hurts.”

“what hurts? did i- did i do something wrong?” he asked, sitting up suddenly interested. you knew what he was thinking. “not in the way you’re thinking, soonyoung,” you smiled. “it hurts because throughout this whole agreement i accidentally caught feelings for you and it fucking sucks. because while you’re out hooking up with other people, i can’t even bring myself to hookup with another person because i think you’ve ruined me.”

“___-” he began, he looked apprehensive.

“i know. i know this wasn’t what we agreed on, and i know you’re not looking for anything right now. i just like you so much, and every time i look at you, i just wonder why you can’t just like me back. i’ll just go. i can’t do this anymore, soonyoung. i’m sorry.” you sighed.

“i am too,” he replied quietly, and he genuinely was.

jeon wonwoo “one day i will stop falling in love with you. some day someone will like me like i like you” - let you break my heart again by laufey

you often borrowed wonwoo’s things. from hats to jackets to random necklaces you found around his apartment, everything was fair game. sometimes you would forget to return them and wear them out. wonwoo never complained or tried to steal the clothes back from you. he liked them better on you anyway.

one day his friends noticed. it was just a house party where you had been teasing wonwoo all night about his less than average kart rider skills. you had taken his glasses off and placed them on your nose. “look at me i’m wonwoo and i suck at kart rider,” you imitated his voice puffing out your chest and bumping into his shoulder.

“hey, i need those,” he chuckled, squinting at the tv in front of him.

“yeah, yeah, i know. they look better on you anyway,” you grumbled, delicately placing the glasses back on his nose. “i’m going to get a drink, you want anything?” he shook his head, and you got up.

“wonwoo, isn’t that your coat?” mingyu casually asked as he sat down next to wonwoo on the couch. wonwoo didn’t even really process what mingyu was asking, but answered, “oh, the one ___’s wearing? yeah.”

“so, does this mean you two are finally together?” mingyu pressed.

“uh, no. it just means i like sharing.”

“just like how you like sharing your glasses,” mingyu scoffed. “bullshit.”

mingyu got up and walked over to where you were chatting with some of your friends. wonwoo wanted to act like he was paying attention to seungcheol absolutely demolishing him and chan at kart rider, but he was only focused on you.

he knew he didn’t stand a chance against the other guys you had been going out with for the past few months. he knew that you were probably better off with a guy like mingyu or something, and when he saw you chatting with mingyu he knew he couldn’t even begin to compete. in your eyes, he was just your cute best friend that did you favors all the time.

“you know, i think you should really un-friendzone wonwoo,” your friend giggled.

“i agree,” mingyu piped in.

“please, wonwoo’s just my friend,” you chuckled, glancing over at the dark haired man sitting on the couch. “plus, i already have a date this weekend.”

it was true. you did have a date lined up. it was about the fourth new guy this month. none of the people you’ve been meeting had actually clicked after the first date. which was a bit disheartening since you’ve been trying to date for a while.

the only constant in your life was wonwoo. he’s been with you since high school, and the two of you quickly rented an apartment together when you two decided to attend the same college. it was a nice set up, and you appreciated his companionship. he was there for every high and low of life, and didn’t complain if you were a mess most of the time. he was just there. a great friend.

as wonwoo and you walked home, he admired the way you looked at everything around you. the stars in the sky or the flowers that lined the windows of some apartments. it was comfortable with you. “you have a date later this weekend?” he asked quietly. you hummed in response.

you were a little too busy watching your surroundings to see wonwoo’s face fall a bit. he would watch you go off on these dates every so often, and nothing came to fruition for most of them. if they did, they were quite short lived. although it broke his heart every time you overlooked his hinting gestures, he would always be there to help you get ready and pick up any broken pieces. he’d be there at your door with a cup of coffee for you in the morning or he’d give you the space you needed if you asked. whatever you asked of him, he would do because he’d let you break his heart as many times as you wanted and he’d still come back. after all, he was your best friend.

he just wished that someday he would finally leave the feelings he harbored for you behind, and he could find someone who loved him the same way that he loved you. even if it wasn’t you.

lee jihoon “feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine now” - the exit by conan gray

jihoon was jihoon. you were you. there wasn’t any way around it. you had met him at a bad time, that’s all you could say about it. it probably wasn’t the best idea to start hanging out as much as you did. you knew that, and so did he. yet, you two did, and it was nice while it lasted.

“i just thought- i just thought we could continue seeing each other,” you grumbled. you weren’t sure what you were expecting out of jihoon. he was always a bit, emotionally reserved.

“i mean, why would we?” he asked, blinking slowly at you. of course he would ask that. “you didn’t think we were actually like dating, right?” he asked.

well no.

you and jihoon had established a mutual distaste towards labels, but now you regretted not putting one on what you had with jihoon. “i mean, i didn’t. i just thought-” you trailed off. what did you think? that maybe by the time he figured out his shit, you would have figured yours out too. or maybe that he would’ve noticed your growing feelings towards him.

“look, ___. you have been a greater help than i could’ve ever asked for. i was, well you know, just out of a long term relationship that ended well, badly. you were with me through every step of the healing process, and i will forever be grateful for you,” he said, taking a step closer to you.

“yeah, you- you really helped me too,” you mumbled, you couldn’t help the tears that were forming in your eyes.

“___? why are you crying?” he asked.

“no reason, jihoon,” you sniffed. there was a perfectly good reason why you crying, it was just a bit too embarrassing to tell him when he obviously didn’t reciprocate your feelings. maybe you got attached to jihoon to easily, someone who was obviously emotionally unavailable. maybe you had a type.

things had ended badly with your ex, and you feared that things would end horribly with jihoon before they could even begin.

maybe he would say you were too clingy, too needy, too this that and the other thing. was wanting to be loved such a bad thing?

all you really wanted was for him to notice you, but it appeared as though he was too focused on healing himself that he had left you behind without as much as a band-aid.

lee seokmin “and though it's fading with time, i remember the warm nights with love in your eyes. passing the days, watching rains as it dries, staring at your eyes i know it's the time” - less and less by matt maltese

a ball of sunshine. that’s how you described lee seokmin. you always grabbed his face in your hands and just looked at him, and he’d let you. then he’d giggle or something and you’d smile while you memorized every aspect of his face.

but now, but now, he couldn’t even look you in the eye, not after he heard that you didn’t really care to see him anymore. it was weird to overhear from one of his friends who still kept in touch with you. apparently he would be too much of a distraction or something to that effect. he knew the chances of reconciliation were already slim, but just knowing you didn’t really want to see him at all hurt. it wasn’t necessarily a bad or messy break up either.

a mutual friend of the two of you had just gotten engaged, and they were having a celebratory dinner. seokmin had the feeling that you were going to be there, but he couldn’t skip out on this just because his ex would be there. that would be - sad.

you were chatting casually with one of the other dinner guests, and you looked as beautiful as ever. “seokmin? are you even listening to me?” soonyoung whined next to him.

“you’re drunk, soonyoung. i probably shouldn’t listen to anything you say,” seokmin chuckled, pushing on his obviously drunk friend. soonyoung whined and threw his head back against the wall that was behind his chair. “___ looks nice tonight,” he commented. seokmin nodded in agreement.

he stole another glance at you, and that was when he met your eyes. god, those eyes. the same kind ones that he looked into every night before you said your goodnights and i love yous. you offered him a small smile and he reciprocated it as best as he could without it hurting his chest too much.

he found himself stealing glances at you when you didn’t even bother to look over. he wished he could sit next to you and hold your hand. kiss your cheek like he used to. should he profess his undying love for you even though you had broken his heart over six months ago? would that be appropriate?

by the end of the dinner, seokmin had slung soonyoung over his shoulder and was bringing him out to his car parked nearby the restaurant. “seokmin, why don’t you ask ___ out again?” he grumbled as seokmin dragged him into the passenger seat. the smell of alcohol reeked on his breath as seokmin buckled his pouting friend in. soonyoung continued, “you two were so good together. so cute. you were so down bad for ___.” seokmin sighed. he knew that already.

he looked at you like you hung the moon, and he genuinely believed that you did. your soft kisses on his cheeks and warm hands around his were nice, but they weren’t enough. as much as he wanted them to be, they just couldn’t be enough.

“seokmin?” he heard your familiar voice float into his ears and shot up instantly, hitting his head on his car as he tried to escape the clutches of soonyoung. “oh, are you okay?” you giggled.

“yeah,” he said, standing upright and rubbing the back of his head. and there the two of you stood in silence. oddly enough, it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it was going to be. there was a dull pain in his chest when he looked at you. “look, i just wanted to say it was nice seeing you tonight,” you said. his heart soared, but the pain hurt. “it was nice seeing you too,” was all he seemed to muster before he turned around to check on soonyoung.

you must’ve thought he was trying to get out of the conversation because the next words you said sounded rushed. “i want you to know that i don’t hate you,” you said.

he froze.

“i mean, i know you heard about what i said about not wanting to see you. that’s not what i meant,” you sighed.

he nodded dumbly.

“i just- i know we didn’t end things badly at all. it was actually quite nice. i said that after we broke up and i was still a bit upset, i guess. i thought that if i saw you, i would just hurt all over again. i just wanted to stop hurting. i should’ve considered that you might hear about it and misunderstand, and i’m sorry about that.”

silence.

“i’ll always want you in my life, seokmin.”

“i’ll always want you in mine too,” he finally said, and he felt like he truly meant it. he knew that he wouldn’t be in your life like the two of you had planned, but just hearing that you wanted him - needed him - to just be there was enough.

he had all those times that you looked at him with such love and affection that he didn’t care how he was in your life. he just needed to be in it. he had the memories how you kissed him. how you hummed songs while lounging around the house. how you would wrap your arms around him while he was cooking. how you held his hand when your car broke down in the rain.

you would remember the way he just admired you at a distance. how he cried when he forgot to water your plant when you left town for a trip. how he brought you flowers when he knew the ones you had were dying. how he sang in the shower. how he laughed at all of your jokes. how he grabbed your hand and kissed it just because.

now you stood so close to him, but so far. he wanted to hold you close to him, feel your hands on his face, hear your laugh, kiss your lips, anything and everything. all it would take would be a couple of strides and he would be close enough to smell the perfume you put on for the evening.

but something in him kept him from doing that. he looked at you. the look in your eyes wasn’t the same as when the two of you were together. something else was there. admiration, respect, unconditional love. something in your eyes told him it was time to let you go. he would always remember you and all the moments you shared, but he needed to let go of what he had. let it fade until all that remained was the dull ache in his heart.

“i’ve missed you, ___,” he said meeting your gaze.

you smiled, “i’ve missed you too. please don’t be a stranger.”

“i won’t.”

the pain in his chest was still there as he watched you leave, but he supposed that it would always be there.

kim mingyu so i can't love you even though i do 밀어내 봐도 난 너를 못이겨 “so i can't love you, even though i do. i try to push you away but i can't beat you” - invu by taeyeon

this was wrong. he knew it. you knew it. he was on a first date with mutual of one of his friends, and he only agreed because he needed to get his mind off of everything, off of you. it should be easy, nice laid back dinner date. it had been a while since he had been on first date, but he couldn’t be that bad at this whole first date thing.

apparently he was pretty bad at it.

“mingyu,” you gasped, as he grabbed onto your waist. “where are you taking me?” he didn’t say a word. something in his blood boiled when he saw you sitting with your friends at the same restaurant he was at. he quickly excused himself from the table and made his way to your table. your table was conveniently located on the way to the bathroom. he turned his head to make sure his date wasn’t looking, luckily his date’s chair was facing the other way, so he could get away with snatching you away from your friends.

you barely had time to process what had happened. you sensed someone rushing toward you, but you figured it was just a waiter. suddenly you were pulled out of your seat and there was a familiar arm wrapped around your waist. “mingyu, what are you doing?” you demanded as he pulled you into the single-bathroom and locked the door. “i was having dinner with my friends.”

“and i was having dinner with a date, but here we are,” he scoffed.

“you’re on a date, and you dragged me in here!” you yelled. “mingyu, you’re unbelievable. you should be on your date. this is incredibly rude of-”

“do you miss me?”

“what?”

“do you miss me?”

“not in the way you want me to.”

that seemed to do it for him. he pressed you against the bathroom wall and kissed you in the way that took your breath away. “mingyu,” you gasped in between his kisses. you felt the way he was holding onto you, it was pure need. “mingyu, we- we can’t. your date,” you breathed as your hands found purchase on his shoulders.

“fuck my date. i’m only on that date to stop thinking about you,” he admitted.

“mingyu-” you began to pull away from him.

“stop calling me that,” he pulled away and looked you dead in the eye.

“what? your name? it’s your name, mingyu. what else am i supposed to call you?”

“please, ___. you know.” it sounded pathetic and you practically melted. “gyu,” you caved. he didn’t realize how much he missed you until this moment. well, he had been missing you since the two of you parted ways several months ago, but now that he had you so close to him, that he had just kissed you, he missed you more than ever. you were so close. he could just go back to kissing you. he really wanted to go back to kissing you.

you don’t know how you could let this happen. mingyu was always very nice to you. he was sweet, caring, attentive, all the things you could want in a boyfriend, but you just weren’t ready for the type of commitment you knew he craved.

he wanted to move in, settle down, get married, live life. it was all too real to you, so you ran.

sure it hurt to break up with him. to tell him that you didn’t want to move that fast, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever marry at all. it was all just too confusing. but now, that you were here with him, you knew that you had made a mistake.

but you had missed your chance.

he tried to move back in to kiss you again.

“gyu, stop,” you whispered. he did, but he didn’t back away. “go back to your date, gyu,” you sighed. “it isn’t fair to your date. it isn’t fair to you.”

“what do you mean, ___? i want you. i’ve only ever wanted you,” he complained, he couldn’t let you leave again. “i’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes for you to realize that it’ll always be you. that you’re the only one for me,” he rushed.

“don’t say that stuff, gyu,” you smiled at him resting your palm on his cheek. “i missed my chance with you. you deserve someone who will appreciate you from the start. you don’t deserve someone who makes you wait around.”

and with that, you pulled away from him, took a quick glance in the mirror and fixed your hair, and left.

and he had no choice but to let you.

xu minghao “oh, simple thing, where have you gone? i'm getting old, and i need something to rely on. so, tell me when you're gonna let me in. i'm getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin” - somewhere only we know by keane

“what do you want?” you asked, leaning against your door.

“can i, uh, get some books that i left here?” minghao asked not meeting your gaze. you squinted your eyes at him. this was so not minghao behavior. even though the two of you stopped hooking up a couple months ago there was still some sort of tension that made you want to claw your hair out. “yeah, i have work soon, so, uh, make it quick,” you mumbled, moving out of the way of the door. he nodded and quickly brushed past you.

your apartment was small and you knew what books he was looking for. they had been sitting on your coffee table for the past months. it wasn’t like you took time to read all five of them in his absence. it wasn’t like you ranked them by how much you thought he would like them. it wasn’t like you knew the book with the green cover would be his least favorite. but you knew you were never going to tell him that.

you picked up the stack of books and handed them to him. he took them and glanced around your apartment. he noticed that the painting the two of you made together as a joke was still hanging out by the window, and he couldn’t help be smile at that.

now there the two of you stood. saying nothing. being with minhao was always quiet, but never this type of quiet. this was stale and somewhat raw, you missed the times of soft comfortable silence.

“well, thank you for holding on to these,” he finally said.

“of course, i mean i’m not a monster who throws away books,” you chuckled. he laughed. you loved it when he laughed, especially since it took you ages to get him to stop stifling it around you.

“before i go, ___, i just need you to know that i don’t regret the things we had, and i don’t regret how things ended. i just need to know why.”

if you thought the air was stale before, you were not prepared for that. “i- i swear it has nothing to do with you,” you said. all he did was nod. “i don’t know,” you resigned yourself.

“yes, you do,” he shrugged. you stared at him, dumbfounded. yes you knew, but you were barely ready to admit it to yourself, how were you supposed to admit it to him?

“i understand that you’re lost, i am too. maybe you can’t tell me right now for whatever reason, maybe you don’t even know yourself, but i can’t stand not being around you,” he said finally.

you just looked at him. he wanted to be around you? after you broke up with him? he still wanted to be around you.

“look, i know it’s weird, but i’ve spent a lot of my time with you. i’ve genuinely enjoyed all the things we’ve done together, and i’m just at a loss for what to do. you were a huge part of my life and now that we’re not together i-” he rambled

“don’t know where to start again,” you finished for him. his eyes flickered between you and the ground.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same. leaving minghao had left some sort of void in your life that you weren’t prepared for. he had been a huge part of your life and then he was just gone. “i guess we could try to be friends again,” you suggested. “just to start again.”

he nodded.

deep down you knew you couldn’t just be friends with him, and he knew that too. yet, he agreed. he needed somewhere to begin again, and you did too. so like you always did, you would always come running back to each other even if it meant leaving each other for good in the future.

“hey, hao,” you called after him. he turned on his heel and looked at you expectantly. “don’t read the book with the green cover. you won’t like it,” you warned. he glanced down at the books he was carrying and back up at you. “noted,” he smiled. “i guess you’ll have to recommend me a different one next time.”

boo seungkwan “if i were a mountain, i'd stand my ground, and maybe i'd never listen. but if i were a mountain, i'd close my mouth and maybe i'd be forgiving” - i’m not a mountain by sarah kinsley

seungkwan tried. he tried his hardest. he gave his everything in every aspect of his life. he gave his all to you, yet for some reason it wasn’t enough. sure, he knew this wasn’t an official thing, but he still treated it as though it was.

“i just- i don’t understand,” he stammered. the look in your eyes was not one of malice or hatred, just sorrow. “i’m moving, kwan,” you sighed. “i can’t- i can’t make you wait for me. we can hardly make it when you make your trips.”

that was true. he needed you like oxygen and his job wasn’t necessarily very forgiving towards the health of his... friendships. “don’t you think we can work it out?” he questioned. “is everything we’ve done together mean nothing?”

“that’s the thing! everything we’ve done means everything to me,” you cried. “please just let me go. maybe if we meet again, it’ll be meant to be.”

he paused.

it meant everything? did that mean...

“i can’t just let you go. we are meant to be. us, here. right now. this is right. why can’t you see that?”

from his perspective, it was his fault.

did he not show you enough love? did he not text or call enough when he was away? was he not a nice enough friend for you to stay?

if he was stronger he would’ve stopped you, even though he knew you were right. some people say that couples who are meant to be together can last the test of time and distance, but that was the issue. you and seungkwan were meant to be together, physically, mentally, emotionally.

“seungkwan, please just - i’m sorry. i can’t play this game anymore.”

“then let’s stop playing, i’ll give you everything!”

“but i can’t give you everything.”

that would be fine, as long as you’re with me, he thought.

“i’m sorry, seungkwan. i- do like you, a lot. more than i should. and it isn’t fair to you to wait for someone like me who can’t love you in the way you deserve,” you sighed, making your way to the door.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would kiss you. he would hold you in his arms and tell you that you are the only person he’ll ever need or want. he would tell you that he loves you. he would ignore the things you said about leaving and make you stay. make you see that you were his world.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would stand there and forgive you for all the times you couldn’t give him your all. he would forgive you for ghosting him occasionally. he would forgive you for breaking his heart.

but seungkwan, wasn’t strong enough to do that. he was upset that you could walk away. he was upset that you were crying about this. he was upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. his facade was in shambles, and his world was crumbling around him.

instead of standing up and protesting anymore, he shut his mouth and bowed his head. tears were dotting the floor as he heard you make your way to the door. “i’m sorry, seungkwan. i love you,” you whispered.

he heard.

“i love you too,” he said as the door clicked shut.

choi vernon 어느 날 우연히 마주치면그건 우연이 아닐지 몰라 “if we meet by chance one day, maybe it’s not a coincidence” - one day by chance by ailee

“you have to meet him!” your friend giggled. “he’s so your type!”

“type? and what would that be exactly?” you entertained the notion.

“im not sure, but he’s for sure your type!” you rolled your eyes. you hadn’t dated anyone since high school, and even then it wasn’t that serious. “and what if he isn’t my so-called type?” you questioned.

“then you get to hang out with me at an awesome party,” she stated.

you didn’t even like going to parties, but you only went to entertain her (and to be her ride home). when you finally arrived at the party she slipped way saying that she was off to find the guy. you sighed and made your way the kitchen to find the bottled water. it was most likely going to be a long night and you were-

“oh hey, sorry,” the guy you just bumped shoulders with apologized instantly.

“no worries, i wasn’t watching-” you paused. “- where i was going.”

“___.”

“vernon.”

“there you are! oh! look you found him before i did!” your friend exclaimed a cup already in her hand.

right. this was the only person in high school that you had a relationship with and thought it was mildly serious. “you were looking for me?” he cocked an eyebrow at you.

“no.”

“yes! i think ___ is just your type!” you friend practically screeched.

“is that so?”

“i’m afraid not. i’ll be outside,” you grumbled to your now confused friend as you walked out the back door. you heard your friend calling after you, but you couldn’t be bothered. it wasn’t like you held a grudge towards vernon, but he was the first guy to break your heart. you knew it was just a stupid high school relationship, but there was something about him. something that was so charmingly awkward that you couldn’t help but enjoy his lame jokes and not as lame music tastes. you didn’t even announce to your friends that you were dating, you didn’t really announce it to yourselves either. it just started. and it just sort of ended. maybe the reason it hurt so much to see him here was simply because there wasn’t any screaming or crying or fighting when it all ended. just zero effort or care was behind the ending.

then something just happened and the two of you just stopped hanging out as much. you knew you couldn’t completely blame it on him. he started hanging out with a different crowd, as did you. and suddenly, it wasn’t. the breakup was as quiet as the get together. but it didn’t hurt any less to see him with his arm around someone else at lunch.

after high school you tried your best to move as far away from your hometown. you largely succeeded. new friends, new places, new experiences. you had it all while avoiding any contact from your previous life. but there was always that thought lurking in the back of your mind about what could’ve been.

it was just a stupid high school thing. then why was your heart beating so much?

you were too lost in thought to notice that vernon had joined you on the porch. “long time no see,” he said, taking a drink from his cup. you scoffed, but not so much in an unfriendly way. just a “that was such a you thing to say” scoff. he laughed taking a sip of his drink. and there you sat in silence. it was comfortable until it wasn’t.

“why’d we stop talking,” you asked suddenly. he shrugged. “not an answer, vernon,” you groaned.

“we grew a part, i guess.” the conversation topic obviously irked him. it was weird, because you had dreamt of this moment for as long as you could remember. reuniting with your high school boyfriend. it seemed far fetched, yet here you were. you were never one to believe in that metaphysical stuff, but maybe this meant something. maybe this was the universe saying something. no. it couldn’t. it was too good to be true.

“did you feel anything for me? i mean, back then at least,” you asked finally.

“yes,” he said, with a sort of certainty that scared you.

“okay, good.” you turned and you were about to go back inside as you muttered to yourself, “at least now i can move on.”

“what if i don’t want you to?” he called.

“excuse me?” you turned on your heel to stare at him.

“what if i don’t want you to move on?” he repeated.

“then you should’ve tried.”

lee chan “got to get it in my head, i'll never be 16 again. i'm waiting to live, and waiting to love” - when by dodie

some things never lasted, and that was a tough pill to swallow. an especially tough one for chan. he moved away, but he had his phone and your number (and address if he needed to resort to letters). there shouldn’t have been a problem. he promised he’d call or text at least once a day, as did you.

and for a while. it worked. things were just the same as they were. almost as if he had never even left.

yet as time passed, he wasn’t expecting to be so busy with his new neighborhood, school, and friends. so, he forgot to text and call quite often actually. just sporadic texts for holidays, funny things, “hellos” and “goodnights.” nothing like what you two were like before. and soon, that became the new normal - for the next four years.

that is until one day when he suddenly remembered the deal the two of you had. he felt guilty. every day turned into every two weeks to once every month, and even less frequent than that. he had promised you the bare minimum, after all, you two were best friends.

however, when he looked at your contact and messages, he realized that you never reached out that much either. just the same “happy winter break!” or “aren’t you so glad summer break is here?” or “we should visit each other soon.” those plans never came to be.

maybe if he had just told you how he felt before he left, the remnants of your relationship wouldn’t be in such shambles. you would have a reason to text and call him. you would have a reason to come and see him and vice versa. except, he didn’t. you two were better off as friends anyway.

and he thoroughly believed that himself. he really believed it when it was the summer and he wanted to visit his grandparents who happened to live a little outside your childhood town. he still loved you even if he couldn’t call you every day to show it. who knows, maybe he could pass through, see you, and finally get to tell you how he felt after all these years. just because you guys didn’t talk as much didn’t mean things would be awkward or weird, right? and it definitely wouldn’t be weird if he just confessed his feelings he had been harboring for you since the seventh grade, right? the feelings he concealed and tucked away just in case you didn’t feel the same. the feelings he didn’t want to risk a friendship over. the feelings that still made him dream of you.

so as he drove through his small hometown he parked along the street where the two of you would walk and window shop. he got out and strolled around greeting some of the older store owners who “oohed” and “ahhed” at him. he was finishing up his conversation with the baker when he heard it.

the undeniable sound of sunshine. the laugh he grew accustomed to throughout your entire elementary and middle school years. he bid farewell, and went searching for it. he walked down the street and looked for it, for you. then he came to the end of the sidewalk and saw you. you were sitting on a bench with some ice cream. you looked beautiful. your eyes bright and smile wide. so bright and wide that he almost missed the guy who was wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your forehead.

oh.

so things did change. chan didn’t recognize the guy, but he knew this guy was more than a friend. his heart was sinking to the bottom of his stomach. and it sunk even further when he realize he needed to walk right by you to get to his car.

shit.

just tear off the band-aid fast. maybe you wouldn’t recognize him. maybe you would be too immersed in the conversation you were having the guy to notice. he didn’t know what he would say to you. confessing wasn’t exactly appropriate now, not that it ever was. would he be awkward? oh please don’t be awkward, he pleaded with himself.

so he just went. he just walked. looked around at his surroundings. acted nonchalant. he was the closest to you he’d been in years, and he couldn’t even bring himself to wave at you, let alone look you in the eye. he ducked his head when he got closer to passing the bench where you sat. he kept his eyes to the ground and successfully made it past your table. there was approximately five beats of his heart when it dropped again. “chan? is that you?” you called after him, he heard you get up from the bench. he looked over his shoulder slightly, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully turn around. you stood in the middle of the sidewalk, ice cream melting down your hand, and your presumed boyfriend staying off to the side. he turned back around to keep walking to his car. “god, chan!” you shouted. “get back here! why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in town?”

“sorry, i- i have to get to my grandparents’ place by dinner. it was nice running into you, ___,” he mumbled, blinking his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

“chan, come on, it’ll be quick.” you were getting closer to him. he couldn’t let that happen.

“no, ___. i can’t. i have to go.” i don’t know what i was thinking. “i’m sorry. just text me or something.”

he really should’ve told you how he felt when he was sixteen.

min | mmmm sad foolish people in love.... i wanted to do one with ceilings but i already did doomsday so i didn’t want to go overboard with lizzy... it’s been a while since i wrote angst ALKDJ leave so feedback in the comments or in the tags (they’re all greatly appreciated) not proofread

#seventeen #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #vernon x reader #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #minghao x reader #dokyeom x reader #seventeen fluff #mingyu x reader #seventeen smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo angst

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