#i would share more but i reached the maximum amount of tags

[pedrospatch]

a safe haven l one

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: After the events in Salt Lake City, Joel and Ellie are back in Jackson, Wyoming to start a brand new life in the safe haven; Ellie has a difficult time fitting in and adjusting in the community, but she finds a friend in you; Joel meets you for the very first time and strange new feelings instantly take root.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. AGE GAP (no specific age is mentioned, but reader’s in her late 20s/early 30s and Joel is 56). reader is basically an OFC but story is written in reader format and her physical descriptions are kept as vague as possible. i have my own face claim for her, but i will only ever share it under cuts and with disclaimers. reader is married, Ellie plays a very important role in the series, hints at her strained relationship with Joel but this will indeed be a fix it fic because he deserves it, okay?

word count: 8.1k

Jackson, Wyoming | June, 2024

Joel’s deep, dark brown eyes linger on you from across the town mess hall with sheer, almost unabashed curiosity. Then again, he doesn’t even realize that he’s staring.

It’s about half past twelve, the designated lunch break hour in Jackson, and the larger scale eatery, which for the last couple of years has been run by an older man named Seth and his two surviving adult sons, is alive and well, buzzing loudly with obnoxious, overlapping chatter.

The hall is almost over maximum capacity, packed to the brim with several members of the steadily growing community who had stopped in for a quick bite to eat before having to resume their daily work duties around the settlement. Or at least, a majority of them had, anyway. Others shamelessly try to milk their lunch hour for all that it’s worth and more, dragging it out and extending their allotted free time for as long as they possibly can before having to return to their scheduled tasks around the commune. They float about the place, socializing as if the mess hall had suddenly turned into The Tipsy Bison, the bar right across the road that’s also owned by Seth.

Somehow, by a stroke of sheer good luck, you’d managed to find yourself a smaller, unoccupied table nestled against the wall, away from all the hustle and bustle. It’s tucked away over in the furthest corner of Jackson’s busy and bustling makeshift canteen, near where the aluminum double doors that lead back to the kitchens are propped wide open for the mess hall staff who were coming in and out to replenish the dishes at the buffet. 

You’re sitting at the table alone, your plastic lunch tray surrounded by an absurd amount of open books that Joel had very little choice but to assume came from the town’s modest, but decent sized library that he’d seen nestled between the schoolhouse and the old church, right behind Main Street. In between delicate bites of oven baked chicken and roasted vegetables harvested fresh from the gardens, you reach up and take the blunt, worn yellow pencil that’s tucked in the space behind your ear, using it to scribble on the notepad in your lap before putting the pencil back in its designated place. Although you’re clearly working through your lunch break today, that doesn’t stop you from being interrupted on several different occasions by numerous individuals—friends and familiar faces all approach you with hopeful expressions, eager to join you and keep you company. 

Sure, the hall is full, but there’s still a number of available seats still left at other partially occupied tables nearby, bigger tables that aren’t crowded with books like yours, tables whose occupants aren’t busy working, studying—doing whatever it is that you’re doing. It becomes apparent to Joel that you’re something of a hot commodity around here. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but there’s just something about you that reminds him of the sweet and popular small town girl his favorite country artists would sing about back in the day. The kind of girl with a magnetic presence and irresistible charm—the kind of girl that anyone can fall head over heels in love with in one way or another. 

There’s something almost too endearing about the gracious way you offer up just the most saccharine smile and apologetic doe eyes as you point to your books, politely declining every offer for companionship that comes your way, saying something he can imagine to be along the lines of, not today or maybe another time. Eventually, after a while, you’re finally left alone to bury yourself back into whatever it is that’s keeping you occupied that you can’t even have your midday meal in peace—you’re so engrossed in the task that you don’t even notice the older, salt and pepper haired newcomer who’s been blatantly staring at you from his table over on the opposite of the hall for the last several minutes. 

It’s not the first time Joel’s seen you around.

He still vividly remembers the moment when he’d first laid eyes on you several months ago during the winter season. 

It had been the morning after his fight with Ellie, after she’d confronted him and he had been forced to fess up about his plans to hand her off to his younger brother, Tommy—he’d asked him, pleaded with him, to get her to the Fireflies in Colorado. Joel’s mind had been in an all out raging war, his heart torn between doing what he’d felt was best for Ellie and what he truly wanted, which was to remain by her side and get her to where she needed to be himself. But how the fuck could he do that when all he’d managed to do in the few months prior to their arrival in Wyoming was fail to protect her over and over again? Sure, Ellie was a teenager, now closer to being an adult than anything else, but she was still a child, one who needed to be protected, kept safe. She needed somebody who could get to where she needed to be in one piece, and Joel had come to the conclusion that, as much as he wanted to be that person, he simply wasn’t capable. Slower, older, his hearing getting worse and worse as the days go by, he feared he’d only end up getting her killed if she continued on with him, a scenario he fucking refused to let happen at all costs. He wouldn’t hold another child’s dead body in his arms, not again.

Following a very long and sleepless night of tossing and turning, Joel had pulled himself out of bed just after sunrise that morning. After getting dressed, he’d quietly slipped out of the house and made his way down to the horse stables, hoping he could leave the commune as soon as possible and without notice from Tommy—and especially without notice from Ellie. It’s not that he had wanted to leave without saying goodbye to her, but Joel knew he wouldn’t have it in him to follow through with the decision he’d made about parting ways with her if he saw her face again, not a fucking chance. And so there he’d been, in one of the stalls at the stables, saddling up the horse he planned to steal and take off on when you’d walked by, flashing him a warm and friendly smile, probably assuming he was just another patrolman getting ready to head out for the morning shift. 

Joel had just stared at you, lips pressed together into a tight, thin line with an emotionless expression on his hard, stony face.

Of course, you were nothing more than a complete stranger who didn’t have the slightest clue as to what was going through his mind. You couldn’t have possibly imagined what was happening to the tortured older man you’d just encountered, the way his inner turmoil was a single thought away from tearing him apart from the inside out. You’d probably just thought he was rude for not smiling back, or at the very least, offering you a courteous good morning.

He’d almost forgotten about you since then.

Almost.

It’d been rather difficult for him to forget all about the prettiest goddamn fucking face he’d ever seen since the world ended two decades ago—not even after all of the events that followed that fateful morning.

The next time Joel had seen you was on his second day back in Wyoming. He and Ellie had made a trip down to the produce market on Main Street to pick up some vegetables and jarred preserves to stock up the kitchen pantry of their new, forever home. He’d caught sight of you as you made your way down one of the aisles towards the sweet potato bins with a brown, woven basket hanging from one arm and a reusable shopping bag draped over the other. Before Joel even realized that he’d been staring, your kind gaze met his own from across the market and you smiled at him again.

Still just as warm, still just as friendly. And you were still just as fucking beautiful as he remembered.

Much like that winter morning in the horse stables, Joel didn’t smile back at you. 

Two for fucking two—surely you must have thought he was a mannerless asshole at this point. He honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did. He’d think the same. 

Tommy, who had made it back from leading his morning patrol group just in time to join him for lunch, waves a hand in front of Joel’s face, looking thoroughly amused. “Maybe we should find you a goddamn camera,” he teases, letting out a small chuckle once he’d finally managed to break the older Miller’s trance, garnering his attention. “Y’know, so you can take a picture. It’ll last a hell of a lot longer.”

Joel scowls at his brother, though he says nothing.

He can’t very well deny that he’d been caught openly gawking. 

“Shut up, Tommy,” is all he can come up with before taking a large bite of seasoned carrots, heat flooding his face. The way Tommy’s looking at him, with that mischievous glimmer in his eyes, it reminds Joel of their younger years, when Tommy would make it his mission in life to do anything that would cause him discomfort just for his own kicks. 

“Hey, I don’t really blame you, y’know.” Tommy reaches over for his glass of sweet iced tea and picks it up, taking a long and refreshing sip. Smacking his lips together, he casually shrugs his shoulders, shooting Joel a knowing smirk over the top the glass as he comments, “She’s certainly a sight for sore eyes, ain’t she, big brother?”

“Watch it. Don’t think Maria would appreciate you sayin’ that kinda thing ’bout another woman who ain’t her,” Joel warns, cocking an eyebrow at him. His brother hadn’t always been the most faithful of partners in his first life, but Tommy truly seemed to be head over heels in love with his wife. Hearing him talk about another woman makes Joel wonder if perhaps remnants of his playboy ways still lingered behind even after twenty years. With Maria having just found out she was expecting his child, Joel certainly hopes that isn’t the case. “Eyes to yourself, asshole.”

Tommy shrugs again. “Ain’t no real harm in just takin’ a quick peek every once in a while,” he muses, although there’s a joking edge to his tone. Setting his glass of iced tea back down onto the table in front of him, he leans back into his chair and glances over at you. He lets out a long, low whistle, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Oh trust me, I get it, Joel—hell, every man around here gets it, fuckin’ single or not. She’s a real fuckin’ beauty, she is. But I should probably go ahead and warn you now that it’s best you don’t go gettin’ any ideas when it comes to that one.”

Before Joel can even stop himself, he finds himself asking, “Why’s that?

“Well for starters, that girl’s damn near half your fuckin’ age, you old fucker.”

Joel flips him off.

“Besides that, she’s already spoken for.” 

“She’s got a boyfriend.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“She’s got a husband,” Tommy corrects him. “She’s a married woman, Joel. And here’s the real fuckin’ kicker. She’s married to Jackson’s only doctor.”

Joel snorts, rolling his eyes. “A real doctor? Or just some fuckin’ clueless prick who claims to be a doctor?” he questions, shoving another forkful of his carrots into his mouth.

The younger man laughs at the bitter skepticism, knowing that it’d come from a place of envy more than anything. “Real, Joel. The guy’s around my age, give or take a couple years. He was finishin’ up his medical school residency when the outbreak first happened, at least that’s what Maria says,” he explains. He notices the confusion flash across Joel’s face and continues to elaborate. “Two of them go way back, went to the same college before she transferred out to another school for her law degree. Maria came across him and his group one day while out lookin’ for supplies. She said he still knew his stuff after all these years and decided to bring him in as the community’s physician. He looks after everyone around here. Delivers the babies, stitches up wounds. Hell, I broke my arm in a stupid ridin’ accident last summer and he set the bone right back into place, had me good as new within a few weeks. S’a miracle we’ve got someone like him around here.”

Joel glances down at his plate, twiddling his fork between his thumb and his index finger. He would have been a goddamn dirty liar if he’d said that finding out you were a married woman didn’t bother him. 

And to a fucking hero doctor nonetheless.

That only makes it sting a little harder.

Tommy immediately picks up on his brother’s disappointment in hearing the news about you being taken and softly kicks his shin with the toe of his boot underneath the table. “Y’know Joel, there’s plenty of other single women around here. Pretty ones, and real nice, too,” he informs him with a small smile. He pauses and then offers, “If you’re interested, I could introduce you around. Maria has this friend, her name is Esther and she’s a real cute blonde—”

“That’s the last thing on my fuckin’ mind,” Joel grumbles out in reply. He tightly shakes his head. “I just fuckin’ got here, Tommy. Besides, I’ve got Ellie that I need to take care of. We’re both tryin’ to get used to this place after bein’ out there on the road for so long. We’re still in the middle of gettin’ ourselves settled. The kid’s my priority right now—my only fuckin’ priority. Not meetin’ someone.”

Not wanting to push him too far, Tommy goes along with the subject change. “Speakin’ of Ellie, how’s she been doin’ by the way? Haven’t really seen much of her since you two got back.”

Joel hesitates, momentarily unable to meet Tommy’s eyes.

It’d been a couple of weeks now since the events that took place back in Salt Lake City. 

Since the hospital.

Since the Fireflies.

Joel had certainly thought once or twice about confiding in Tommy about what he had done. How he had ruthlessly and without a single ounce of mercy killed all of those people in the hospital, how he had shot Marlene dead at point blank range—how he had violently and single handedly stopped what had most likely been humanity’s only chance at potentially finding a cure for the cordyceps infection by preventing the Fireflies from operating on Ellie and performing a brain surgery that would have killed her. 

Joel doesn’t regret it, nor does he regret the choice he’d made on Ellie’s behalf.

He would do it all over again in a fucking heartbeat if it came down to it.

He doesn’t carry guilt over having done what he’d done, but he does carry the guilt of having lied to her about it after it was all said and done. He felt awful for looking her in the eye and swearing to her that everything he’d said about the Fireflies was true when it wasn’t. Ellie claimed to believe him, but he knew better than that. She was smart, too fucking smart for her own good. She might not have known the extent of it all, but she knew for certain that Joel wasn’t being entirely forthright about what had gone down in Salt Lake City while she’d been unconscious.

From that moment on the mountain, things had been quite tense between them. That conversation instantly caused a rift in their relationship, but Joel could tell she was doing her very best to force herself to fully believe that he was still a person she could trust, a person she could put her faith in. He took an odd sense of comfort in knowing that her forced efforts to keep believing in him had to have meant something good. 

She didn’t want to give up on him or on their relationship.

Joel exhales a heavy sigh, finally answering the question. “Not too great,” he admits, quietly. “I’m real worried ‘bout her, Tommy. It’s been a couple weeks now since we’ve been back and she still hasn’t made one single goddamn friend around here. She doesn’t fuckin’ talk to anyone, barely even talks to Maria.” He sighs again, tiredly rubbing the side of his face with his free hand. “She spends most of her time hidin’ out in the stables with the horses. She would rather be around them than other people. She can’t live the rest of her life like that. I try to tell her she needs to put in more effort on her part, but she won’t fuckin’ listen to me.”

“Just give her some more time, Joel. After everythin’ that poor kid’s been through in her life, it ain’t a big surprise that she’s strugglin’ a bit to fit in around here, y’know?” Tommy notices the way his older brother’s jaw clenches and he offers him a look of sympathy. “Look, I know Ellie means a whole lot to you and if I were you, I would be real worried ’bout her too. But just give her a little more time to adjust. She’ll get there, I know she fuckin’ will. She’s a real strong kid, big brother.”

“Yeah, I know she is,” Joel murmurs in agreement. “Hell of a lot stronger than someone her age should have to be.”

“She’ll be just fine,” Tommy reassures him. “She’ll find her place here, Joel. Just wait. You’ll see.”

“I sure as hell fuckin’ hope you’re right.”

You relish the feeling of warm sunlight hitting your face.

Summer’s just beginning in Wyoming, and after a particularly long, cold and cruel winter that swept the western state this last year, you couldn’t have been more thrilled to see that warmer weather is well on its way.

At least, for now you’re thrilled.

Winters in Jackson were god awful, but summers could be just as brutal, if not worse.

Clutching the strap of your old, but sturdy brown leather satchel bag securely over your shoulder, you hurriedly make your way across the settlement from the mess hall and back towards the horse stables, the place you commonly referred to as your second home—it wasn’t all that much of a joke, seeing as you often spent more time there than you didn’t. It’s now after lunch hour, and there’s still plenty of work to be done before the end of the day rolls around, most of it which would undoubtedly trickle into the next day.

Being the only veterinarian in the community, there was always more than plenty of work to be done every day. Too much work to be done by one single person alone. Often, you find yourself feeling quite overwhelmed by it all. You feel like you’re completely in over your head, and it leaves you wondering if you’d made the right decision by taking such an enormous responsibility into your hands.

Then again, it’s not like you’d been given much of a choice. In a way, it had been expected of you.

Prior to passing away from illness two summers ago, your father had been the veterinarian who looked after the animals. Even though you hadn’t been trained professionally like he had, your father decided to spend the final years of his life teaching you to the best of his ability and with what little resources he had available. After all, Jackson was going to need someone to step up and take care of the animals when he was gone—particularly the hoses. Even as his physical health worsened, he used every last ounce of strength he had left in him to prepare you to take over for him when he died. Thanks to him and all he’d done for you, you certainly knew a thing or two, but the job was still daunting, even after all this time of being in practice on your own without him there to guide you like before.

Keeping the horses healthy to begin with made your job a hell of a lot easier, but when a horse became sick or injured, that was when your knowledge and your skills were truly put to the test. Horses were how everyone traveled when in search of needed supplies, how patrolmen and women moved around while they were out and about on watch keeping the community safe against the infected and against raiders. Horses were one of the most important, most precious resources the commune possessed. They kept everything going, everyone moving, and you’d be fucking lying if you said that being the sole person in charge of caring for them didn’t put a tremendous amount of pressure on your shoulders.

Sensing your doubt, Maria Miller often assured you that you were the best person for the role—the only person for the role. “The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree,” she had complimented you over coffee at her place the morning after you had successfully removed a bullet lodged into the shoulder of one of the horses that had been injured while Tommy and his group were out on overnight patrol. They’d stumbled across violent and armed raiders, and luckily everyone had made it out unscathed with the exception of Tommy’s beloved black horse, Ranger. You recalled being pulled out of your bed in the middle of the night to tend to him, the first serious case you had to take care of without your father’s guidance. Thankfully, the stallion’s injury hadn’t been life threatening, and you were able to patch him up within the hour. After just a few weeks of working with Ranger and putting him through physical therapy, the horse made a full recovery and both Maria and Tommy couldn’t have been more thrilled with your work.

Still, you still continued questioning your own abilities, but it didn’t really matter in the end. Both Maria and Tommy decided to assign you as Jackson’s equine veterinarian, pulling you from your previous job, which had been helping Seth make sandwiches at The Tipsy Bison.

You rush into the stables, making a mental list with the names of all the horses that you still need to check over for the day, including the group of horses that had just arrived back from that morning’s patrol. You make your way down to the very last stall which is serving as home to a stunning, chestnut-brown pregnant mare.

“Hi there, Stella,” you coo sweetly, beaming at the beauty. “Hi, my gorgeous girl. How are you doing today, sweetie pie?”

“I would be doing a hell of a lot better if I could have one of those apples in your bag,” a voice answers, startling you slightly.

Peering around Stella’s body, you catch sight of Ellie laying down on a small bed of hay in the furthest corner of the stall. She’d made something of a pillow out of her backpack, kicking back as she flips through her favorite superhero comic book for what had to be the hundredth time. She offers you a silly, lopsided grin the minute she takes a glimpse at the baffled look on your face. “Howdy.”

“Ellie,” you sigh her name softly. “What in the world are you doing in here?”

“Living my best life,” she deadpans. “What else does it look like I’m doing?”

You try but mostly fail, in hiding your laughter at her quick witted sense of humor. “Ellie,” you say her name again. “You can’t just hide out in here with the horses every single day, you know,” you point out, dropping your heavy satchel bag onto the ground. Stella lowers her head and gives it a sniff, no doubt smelling those apples you always carried around with you.

“Wanna bet?” The teenager quips with a small joking smirk as she sits up, tossing her comic book to the side. Bits of hay stick out of her brown hair, which she always keeps tied back in a messy ponytail.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school with the other kids?”

She rolls her eyes. “I already went to school. Back in the Boston QZ. FEDRA’s finest, dude.”

You don’t know all that much about Ellie Williams—nor about the brooding older man that she’s here with, Joel Miller. The only thing you do know is that Joel happened to be Tommy Miller’s older brother and he acted as Ellie’s guardian. Initially, you’d thought he was her father, but Maria had told you that he had no familial relation to the girl, a fact that took you by complete surprise.

Their arrival in Jackson back during the winter season had the entire town talking—but by the following morning, the pair were gone, not to be seen again for several months until their return towards the end of spring just a couple of weeks ago. Rumors flew once the word of their return had gone around, but in reality, no one had the slightest clue about where they had gone or why they had left the safety of the commune’s walls in the first place. Not even Maria, who had failed in getting her husband to talk. She swore up and down Tommy knew something she didn’t, but he refused to spill his brother’s secrets, even to his own wife.

Like everyone else in the tight knit community, you were curious about Ellie, and you were especially curious about Joel. You’d seen him around a couple of times before, but hadn’t had the chance to meet him yet. Still, even without having spoken a single word to him, you already knew he wasn’t anything like Tommy, or anyone else you’ve ever encountered, really. A man of very few words, he kept to himself, just like Ellie did. Still, Joel knew he needed to find his place and pull his weight in Jackson just like everyone else, and once he began working patrol alongside Tommy, he finally began engaging with other members of the town. 

Reluctantly so, but at the very least, he was trying.

Ellie, on the other hand, avoided everybody at all costs. Everybody, that is, except for you.

Since their arrival, Ellie chose to spend her days in the stables. She’d hang out with the horses while reading her comic books or listening to tapes on some old Walkman she had permanently borrowed from Tommy. Despite a hectic schedule that kept you busy, you eventually started taking the time out of your day to talk to her. It had started off with light chatter about the most trivial of things—how the day was going, whether or not the weather was nice outside, what had been served for lunch in the mess hall that afternoon. Ellie seemed almost annoyed with you at first, but after a couple of days, she’d quickly started warming up to you and by the end of the first week, she had started following you around the stables, joining you wherever you needed to be. The girl had taken a liking to you, but she was still quite guarded and careful, as if she were still testing the waters, figuring out whether or not you could be trusted.

You don’t mind that, though.

Little by little, simply by being kind to her and making the genuine effort to get to know her, you’re slowly beginning to chip away at her layers. There was still quite a long way to go if you ever wanted the teenager to completely open up to you, but you didn’t mind that either.

You’d be as patient with her as you needed to be.

You walk over to her. “Listen Ellie, as much as I really enjoy having you around me all the time, you really do need to make friends, you know.”

She blinks. “But you’re my friend.”

Even as you rephrase yourself, you can’t help but smile. “Friends your own age,” you remark, tucking the loose lock of your hair that had fallen loose from your dutch braid behind your ear. “You know, my husband, he has a niece named Dina. She’s about your age. I could introduce you to each other if you'd like?”

Ellie furiously shakes her head. “No.”

“Ellie—”

“Everyone around here looks at me like I’ve got two fucking heads or something. She probably fucking will too,” she mumbles. She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. “I’d have an easier time fitting in around here if I was a fucking clicker.”

Chuckling, you gently shake your head at her.

By now, you’d pretty much gotten used to her rich and colorful vocabulary.

You crouch down in front of her. “Look Ellie, I know how hard it is not to fit in with others.”

“You?” Ellie blows a loud raspberry in complete disbelief. “No fucking way. I don’t believe that for one fucking second, sweet cheeks.”

“Hey, in case you didn’t know this, I haven’t always been this age,” you remind her, lightly swatting at the side of her knee with your hand. “I was fifteen once too.”

“Yeah, and you were probably little miss fucking perfect, just like you are now.” She rolls her brown eyes at you in a teasing manner. “I bet everyone just loved you.”

You swat at her knee again. “Oh, stop that. That couldn’t be any further from the truth,” you reply, wondering where this child had come up with the idea that you are, or had ever been perfect. “I was still living in one of the quarantine zones with my family when I was your age, Ellie. We were living in the Alburquerque QZ for quite a while before it got overrun by the infected. They had schools and everything, just like in Boston. My mother was a nurse, so she had the privilege of enrolling me in one of their better schools, a preparatory school—she had the hope that I’d become an officer so I could have a chance at a decent life.” You pause, noticing a strange glimmer flash in the girl’s eyes, but when she says nothing, you continue on, “So I got the absolute pleasure of going to school with a bunch of kids whose parents were officers and important higher ups in the zone. And let me tell you something, the world may have gone to complete shit, but teenagers can still be fucking assholes.”

Ellie throws her head back and laughs loudly. “Whoa! I never thought I’d hear you curse. I thought you were too fucking prim and proper for that.”

“I’m not all that prim and proper,” you counter, grinning at the way she continues to cackle. “Besides, spending all this time with you might just have me cursing like a fucking sailor by the end of the week.”

“Fuck yeah it will,” she agrees with a nod. 

You grin again, but when your eyes meet Ellie’s, it falters slightly.

Ellie hadn’t told you much of anything about her past, but one thing was for certain—the young girl had been through hell and back. You could see it written all over her face, even when she smiled and even when she laughed. The traces of terror, pain, and trauma were quite subtle, but they were very much present and in recent nights, you’d find yourself lying in bed, wide awake and wondering what all this poor child had gone through in her life. Thoughts about what Ellie had seen, what and who she had lost in this world haunted you.

She’s different. 

What she’d been through made her different.

It set her apart from the other children, especially those who don’t know what it’s like to live a life outside these four walls.

It pained you to know that she felt ostracized when you were willing to bet your life that whatever had happened to her, it hadn’t been her fault.

Ellie Williams wasn’t your responsibility—you hardly know her. But you already care about her. An inexplicable soft spot for her had found its way into your heart from your very first interaction with her. If there’s anything you can do to help her ease into this new way of life, you’ll gladly do so without hesitation.  

“So then,” Ellie finally says after a minute, looking up at you. “Is it, uh, is it alright if I keep coming to the stables to spend time with you and the horses?”

“Of course.” You rise to your feet and glance at Stella. “But only on one condition. You have to help me out with the grooming. I’ve been really short handed lately and could use the extra help. Deal?”

She jumps up to her feet, eagerly nodding her head. “Deal.”

Joel dumps his plastic tray and used dishware into the designated dirty dish bin before shoving his way through the doors of the mess hall. The air outside is still relatively cool, it’s crisp and fresh—but the temperatures are sure to get a hell of a lot warmer now that summer has officially arrived. Not that he minded.

He keeps his sights set straight ahead of him, doing his best to avoid eye contact with anyone who so much as even throws a glimpse in his direction.

People seem to be getting to him, but oftentimes, he still feels like a pariah. It’s almost like he’s some fucking feral stray cat that Jackson had adopted and taken into it’s home, willing to tame him, but still afraid that he could start tearing shit up at any given moment if they didn’t keep a close enough eye on him. He could handle that, though. It’s his Ellie he’s worried about. Between the survivor’s guilt she’d been dealing with on a daily basis and the way she was looked at in the community by everyone, Joel feared for her well being. He could only hope that Tommy was right about her just needing time and that eventually, she’ll find her place and he’ll have the chance to give her the most normal life possible under the circumstances. 

It’s the very least Joel could do for her after all she’d been through in the last year—after what he’d done, how he had lied straight to her face. He fucking owed her that much.

Ellie deserved happiness, and he would do just about anything in his power to give it to her.

Joel arrives at the horse stables and makes his way inside. “Ellie?” He calls out her name. “Ellie? You in here?”

That’s when he hears her voice. 

“Wait, what? Stella’s pregnant? I didn’t fucking know that!”

Rounding the corner into the very last stall, Joel sees Ellie standing there, her tiny little hand on the muzzle of a brown horse. In her opposite hand, she’s holding a mane brush. She isn’t alone.

He’s surprised to see you standing there beside her, your hands planted on your hips. You’re wearing a pair of well worn light wash blue jeans, the legs tucked into a pair of weathered black riding boots whose soles are completely caked with muck. Joel remembers you wearing an oversized, long sleeved red flannel shirt back in the mess hall, but it’s now off and tied around your waist, leaving you in a thin, cotton white tank top—the material fits snug on your frame, and Joel tries his hardest not to stare at the patch of bare skin that peeks between the hem of your shirt and the waistband of your jeans.

Christ.

You’re even more beautiful up close.

Fuckin’ get a grip, Miller, he thinks silently to himself.

“She sure is,” you reply to her question with a wide grin. “We just found out about a week ago and believe she’s about a few weeks along. We’ll have a sweet new baby in a year.”

“What? No fucking way!” Ellie exclaims, looking thoroughly excited, but bewildered by the fact. “Horses are pregnant for a whole year? Holy shit man, that’s fucking nuts!”

“Well, for eleven months,” you clarify for her, giving Stella a gentle, but firm pat on her muscular neck. “This is Stella’s first one. We’re hoping for a smooth pregnancy that reaches full term, but sometimes babies decide to come a bit sooner than expected.”

Curiously, Joel’s lips part and his eyes widen slightly.

He can’t fucking believe it.

Ellie hadn’t spoken a single word to anyone in two weeks and yet here she is, engaging with you so easily and so effortlessly, cracking the first genuine smile he’d seen since they had fed that giraffe back in Salt Lake City. More than that, Ellie is being herself, cursing up a storm and all, and you don’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it, not like the other adults whose jaws would drop in utter horror at her use of such foul language.

Joel wills himself to move and steps inside of the stall. He lightly clears his throat. “Ellie.”

You and Ellie both turn around, glancing in his direction.

“Joel? What are you doing here?” she asks, her smile fading slightly.

“Lookin’ for you. It’s lunchtime. Y’need to go eat somethin’ kiddo.”

She holds up the brush in her hand. “But we were just about to—”

He stops her with a stern glare. “Lunch. Now. Go.”

“Fine,” Ellie huffs and rolls her eyes at him. Picking up her red and tan backpack from the ground, she hands you the mane brush and stomps out of the stall, roughly shoving into Joel’s shoulder as she pushes past him without another word.

Joel glances at you, a sudden wave of awkwardness washing over him. Just as he’s about to politely excuse himself and leave, you speak.

“You’re Tommy’s older brother, right? Joel?”

He nods. “Yeah. I am.”

Stepping away from Stella, you walk over to Joel and introduce yourself, extending a hand for him to shake.

Your name is as beautiful as you are and it sounds heavenly when he repeats it, rolling smoothly off his tongue. He takes your hand in his own and the contrast between the two is stark. Your hand is soft against his rough, small compared to his large, but somehow still an all too perfect fit.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Joel.” Your eyes find his, meeting them in a way that makes something inside of him that had been sleeping for decades now stir itself awake—it’s a feeling that’s too foreign for him to pinpoint. 

Realizing he’s been holding onto your hand longer than necessary, he drops it and takes a step back, lightly bumping his back against the stall door. “I’m—uh, I’m real sorry ‘bout Ellie,” Joel apologizes to you after a minute. “I know she’s been spendin’ a lot of time in here. I hope she hasn’t been botherin’ you or gettin’ in the way of things. If she is, I’ll have a talk with her.”

“No, no. Of course not. She hasn’t been bothering me at all,” you quickly assure him without missing a beat. “I’m usually in here alone, so it’s actually been really nice having her around. I enjoy her company a lot.”

“You do?”

You toss him a puzzled, but amused look. “Is that so strange?”

Joel places his hands on his hips and leans back against the stall door. “Ellie’s been havin’ a little trouble,” he confesses. “Adjustin’ to life here and meetin’ people. She, uh—she ain’t like all the other kids around here, y’know?”

“I know.”

His eyebrows raise to his hairline—exactly how well had you and Ellie gotten to know each other already? What all had she told you? What did you know about her?

What did you know about him?

Joel tries to mask the concern on his face.

“I was just talking to her a little while ago. I told her I know how hard it is being a teenager and trying to fit it in with the crowd, even in a world like this one.” You let out a humorless laugh and shake your head, the ridiculousness of what you’d just said sounding sillier out loud than it had in your mind. “It’s even harder when you’re just so different.” You detect the way that your statement triggers something of a negative response from Joel—the way his eyes darken in a flash of anger and his nostrils flare slightly tell you he doesn’t take all too kindly to anyone talking negatively about his kid. Ellie being different is something that he already knows, of course, but hearing it from someone else isn’t easy for him, and it certainly isn’t welcome. It puts him right into protective mode and you don’t blame him, not in the slightest. You hold your hands up and reassure him, “There’s nothing wrong with being different, by the way.”

Joel sees the sincerity in your eyes that go hand in hand with your words and his defenses switch off almost as quickly as they’d switched on. “There isn’t,” he agrees with a careful nod of his head. “Nothin’ wrong with it at all.” He clears his throat. “M’sorry, I didn’t mean to—it’s just that I don’t really like it when people start runnin’ their mouths ‘bout my kid, that’s all.”

Waving a hand, you assure him, “No need to apologize at all, Joel.”

Little by little, he starts relaxing. Taut and tense muscles that have been wound up for years and years are suddenly beginning to loosen. All it’s taking is being in your presence and talking to you. Joel suddenly understands why Ellie’s taken such a quick liking to you. 

You’re unlike anyone that either of them had ever met before. You’re bright and you bring about this warmth—a different kind of warmth Joel hadn’t felt in so fucking long. It feels like seeing the sun for the very first time after spending years and years trapped in a cold, cold darkness.

He glances around the stall. “So, uh—what’s the deal? You one of the stable hands around here or somethin’ like that?”

“Something like that,” you repeat after him, a tiny grin tugging at the corners of your mouth at the way he speaks with a heavy, but still incredibly charming Southern drawl. “I’m the veterinarian here in Jackson.”

He chuckles. “Y’mean, those still exist?”

“Sort of. My father used to be the veterinarian here,” you explain to him. “That was what he did for a living before the outbreak happened. We lived in New Mexico on a horse ranch when I was growing up—he started off as a stable hand and then he went back to school to become an equine veterinarian. When we got here a few years ago from one of the quarantine zones, he told Maria what he had done for a living before this and he was asked to care for the horses in exchange for our place here.”

“And you?” Joel can’t help but wonder out loud. You seem quite young, can’t be older than your late twenties or early thirties at most, which would still have made you a child when the outbreak happened. “No offense darlin’ but you seem a little bit too young to have gone to vet school before shit hit the fan.”

Darlin’.

He doesn’t mean to call you that. But it’s too late—and you don’t appear bothered by it.

Instead, you laugh, and the sound is like a gorgeous melody he could listen to on repeat for the rest of his life if given the chance. “No, I definitely did not go to veterinary school. Actually, my dad taught me everything I know.” You speak fondly of him as you continue to say, “He educated me. Well, as best as he could considering the circumstances and all. He gave me a ton of books that I could read and study from, but most of it was hands-on training. He tried to teach me all that he could before he died a couple of years ago.”

Joel frowns. “Oh. Sorry to hear ‘bout your dad.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to be sorry.”

He peers at you, wondering what had happened to him. 

“He died of illness,” you tell him, as if having read his mind. “Cancer, we think it was, but we obviously can’t know for sure without proper testing. And before you say it again, you don’t have to be sorry.” You cross your arms over your chest, tilting your head at him as you change the subject and ask, “So, how are you settling in?”

“S’been alright, I reckon. Real different from what I’m used to—from what we’re both used to,” Joel answers, referring to Ellie.

“I can imagine it is. It took me a while to get used to this place when I first got here too. It’s such a different way of life, especially when you lived under FEDRA control for so long,” you empathize with him, sighing as you drop your arms back down at your sides. “You stay just a couple of houses down from Tommy and Maria, right?”

“Yeah, we’re two doors down in the brown and greenish lookin’ unit.”

“I’m in the light blue and white cottage right across from them,” you inform him, your pretty eyes twinkling as you give him a smile. “I guess that kind of makes us neighbors, doesn’t it?”

Joel’s stomach somersaults.

If you didn’t stop smiling at him like that, there was going to be a problem.

“It does,” he manages to say. Remembering Tommy’s warning from earlier, he decides it would be best for him to leave—and the quicker, the better because he’s beginning to notice how fucking easy it is to fall under your spell. He pushes himself away from the stall door. “I should probably get goin’ now. Got evenin’ patrol,” he says. “Listen, uh, I really appreciate you spendin’ time with Ellie and bein’ so kind to her. Thank you for that.” He gives you a small grateful nod and turns on the heel of his boot to leave the stall.

“Joel?”

He stops dead in his tracks, his back stiffening slightly.

The sound of your soft voice saying his name is sweet like pure, raw honey.

If he isn’t careful, he’ll become addicted to it—he fears he already is.

Swallowing harshly, Joel turns back around to face you. “Yeah?”

“We’re having this big get together tomorrow night in the barn that’s right across the way,” you say, jabbing a thumb over your shoulder. Through the small round window in the stall, he can see the very barn you’re talking about. “We do it every single year on the first day of summer. We do it for the kids more than anything, but everyone comes out.” There’s a subtle hint of shyness to your tone. “I’m not sure if Tommy or Maria have mentioned it to you yet, but there’s going to be a big barbecue, drinks, and even dancing. The whole nine yards.”

Joel has to bite back a small scoff of disbelief. “You serious?”

“Hey, the world might have ended, but people still know how to get down and party,” you joke. You observe the genuinely perplexed look that crosses his face and giggle. “I know it must sound really bizarre. But it’s a lot of fun and it’s a great way to really get to know the folks around here. I think it would be great if you and Ellie both came.”

“Ain’t too sure if it’d be Ellie’s thing. Or mine,” he admits, raking a hand nervously through his hair at the thought.

“You won’t know unless you give it a shot, Joel.” You gift him with another brilliant smile that just about makes his heart stop inside his chest. “Please?”

Joel hardly knows you.

Hell, up until five minutes ago, he hadn’t even known your fucking name—how is it possible that he can’t say no to you? A complete fucking stranger?

He thinks about it. He doesn’t like the idea of having to interact with anyone outside of his patrol duties, but if going to the damn thing means seeing you again, then he’s willing to at the very least give it a shot. 

“Maybe we’ll both stop by for a bit and check it out,” he finally replies, exhaling a sigh of defeat.

“Great!” You beam happily. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, then!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Joel repeats, giving you one last nod before turning and leaving the stall.

As he leaves the stables and heads home, he can’t help the way the corners of his mouth threaten to turn upwards at the mere thought of seeing you tomorrow night. 

Shit.

Yeah, he’s in fucking trouble. 

[blueprint-han]

[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content: 

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.  

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face. 

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags. 

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful. 

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others. 

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers. 

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY.  A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health. 

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused​ and @scriptura-delirus​ . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays​ about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners. 

[yostresswritinggirl]

Albedo. I just rolled him and finished his quest.

I would love to talk about travelling with him, or at least being someone who brings in the ingredients for alchemy. Someone who goes out of their way for him and gets the best. Maybe the only gardener in Mondstadt to grow alchemical roots and grasses.

I'm happy for you, rolling the cute alchemy boyo ywy I only rolled in his banner to get Bennett in five rolls I'm sorry Albedo, my primogems are for Xiao and Hu Tao- *shot*

Back to business! I really, really like this cute idea awww thank you for distracting from the angst fics in my head haha (TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE IT PROPERLY AND SO THE POST IS HORRIBLY SHORT WAIT- FIXED IT WOOHOO)

Albedo's Personal Botanist

Background

Most ingredients in alchemy usually come from ores and liquid ingredients formed by chemistry methods. Stuff like Tuttia, Bismuth, all that shindigs-

So while plant life can be useful for alchemy, not everyone recognizes its utility straight away, and provide for the common plants for arrangements rather than scientific inventory

I can imagine that you'd be a normal gardener at first but very passionate of their properties.

Might be a Dendro vision wielder too, the Dendro archon loves those who wield the power of knowledge, more so when they use it on nature.

You carry with you a lil book about all the plants and shrubs that you've personally cared for, down to their finest detail and properties. But you're a gardener, not a master of Alchemy, so some parts of the notes you couldn't really figure out yourself.

The first time you met Albedo, he was around a year into staying in Mondstadt. He was forced to go out and take a breather because of his workaholic schedule, and instead of relaxing in a bath, he ended up drifting to the market area to get more ingredients local to Mond.

Unlike the other flower stalls, he was pulled into yours because of the wide variety of your wares. Roots, grasses, shoots, plants you couldn't just find outside of the walls.

You were tending to your mini greenhouse in the back and left your botania book on the shelf outside, and this LIL SHI- Albedo, having no proper training for social interactions, straight up just opened that shit and read it all.

"Oh, hello there, mister- HEY, THAT'S MY STUFF, WHAT THE HECK"

Flustered, confused and alarmed, Albedo tried his best to quickly reason with your garden-spade-wielding self. And with his pretty boy self, you managed to calm down and listen.

You may or may not had smacked him with a bouquet of horsetail for good measure.

"Such vast knowledge and detail orientation, why waste away your talents in selling productive fauna when you can wield them into something more?"

Master Phytologist of the Knights of Favonius acquired!

Working with Albedo!

Your greenhouse in the Knight of Favonius HQ is most definitely connected to Albedo's laboratory! And very spacious too.

More than one occasion, you've seen the Chief Alchemist casually sneaking around the area, plucking a Flaming Flower or scraping dandelion seeds from the pot while you were busy tending to other flowers on the other side of your area.

65% of the time you caught him red-handed and you will be met with the rare sight of a fumbling, queasy Albedo.

30% of the time you just find out something is missing after checking inventory for the day, usually ends up with you hunting and shouting for Albedo. Because the guy seem to have a sixth sense as to when you find out his thieving adventures.

5% of all of that, Kaeya would be the one stealing from your 'safer' floras to woo a random citizen in Mond. And as a master of botany, your precious babies are always in tip top shape. Top quality bouquets all day, all night.

Those moments are the ones Albedo hate more than getting smacked with your spade. Those are your flowers, and by association, his. Grown to their maximum potential by your calloused yet gentle hands FOR HIM-

Kaeya: *reaching out to pluck a perfectly healthy glaze lily*; Albedo: *his short ass of a shadow looming over him*

NOW IT IS HIM WHO WIELDS THE POWER OF THE GARDEN SPADE

The atmosphere of your work area is significantly different from his own messy laboratory. The glass walls and roof that lets in just the right amount of sunlight, with a perfect view of the scenic landscape of Mondstadt and beyond.

When Albedo reaches a wall on his research, he picks up his sketchbook and just- waltz in to your workshop through the door connecting your workspaces.

The fresh air, the soft kiss of the sun, your humming, it was all a symphony of heaven concocted just for him.

He’ll find himself sketching your babies, dozen or more times you are included.

Your notebook’s illustrations are mostly courtesy of him, and he greatly basks in your pure admiration of his drawing.

To help him focus, you once took on the great task of organizing his laboratory, to no avail. Even if you manage to fix and align his inventory, it’s gonna go back to chaos after three days minimum.

It’s okay tho, it’s normal for him, more excuse to visit you-

Guilty, he wants your spacious and refreshing greenhouse and often asks for a redesign of his laboratory to share similar workspace with you.

Acting Grand Master Jean had to decline this idea just because it costs more than a million mora.

He’s definitely gonna sulk in your greenhouse after that, back leaning on the warm glass wall as he does nothing but sketch you and your plants the whole day.

Don’t stop him

Just admire the pout

Actually Working with Albedo! (Finally)

Whenever Albedo discovers/explores a new area, you’re always sure to tag along whether willingly or by force

YOU BET YOUR FROZEN ASS YOU’RE COMING WITH HIM TO DRAGONSPINE

DEFINITELY BY FORCE

I imagine that despite being his assistant/student, Sucrose and Timaeus are more focused on research and the application of Alchemy, so they’re not much of the resource gathering type. That said, Albedo is very thankful of your existence, it’s a breather to his already full schedule.

Albedo is both considerate and inconsiderate unconsciously : While he may run off to experiment on the traveler and leave you scouting the area yourself, he doesn’t willingly set you on fire from the inside.

Every time he comes back to camp after finishing the step by step experiment with/on the Traveler, he makes sure to check up on how you are doing.

TAKE NOTE: Our prince is very occupied and busy with his own work a lot, so he’s never really seen you in action when you go out to get the the materials he needs-

So he is purely horrified when he saw you hanging off the cliff with nothing but a rope around you to keep you safe, carefully investigating a petrified tree branch up close.

Suddenly, elevator.

Again, Imma bet, he’s gonna be accompanying you in all your expeditions after that. He’ll need to know where and how you acquire every ingredient outside of your greenhouse.

Does it require you to climb a mountain? Are there any Hilichurl camps nearby? Maybe mobs that are attracted to that type of flower?

He would be very attentive of your inventory reports and would recognize if a dangerous gathering journey is near. He’ll be right there with you.

Violetgrass x1000

He’s gathering more than a month’s worth just to make sure you don’t go back to make that dangerous trip. It’s very impractical, but let him rest his heart.

You and Albedo: Resource Gathering Expedition; Other Knights: Outdoor Dates Disguised as Work-Related Outings

Flower crowns are good and all but have you heard of flower bracelets?

Omg so cute hhh imagine a Flaming Flower Stamen bracelet for his Dragonspine expedition- it’s not gonna last forever but it’s so precious he’s definitely keeping that shit even when the heat already dissipated from it gah-

“Paimon wonders, what’s that thing around your wrist?”

“A flame bracelet, made to keep the cold away.”

“Woah! Sounds very useful! Sure would be handy for exploring, you think we can borrow it-”

“No.”

Something angst-y: Albedo has yet to make a Dendro affinity potion and he’s really, really devastated about it and himself. You’ll have to forcibly pull him out of his self-deprecation, force him to get a breather.

Overall, Albedo greatly appreciates not only your utility but also your consistent company. He values your tenacity and comfort, sharing unadulterated curiousity as you both venture the great unknown. There’s a lot of stuff he can pray about to thank whichever archon has graced you. And despite his Vision lacking the function to actually help in the advancement of his research, he is now thankful for it, for he has found with it a greater purpose: Ensuring the safety of his precious Gardenia.

I CANT BELIEVE IT, THIS THING WAS 30 TIMES LONGER BUT TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE THE DRAFT PROPERLY AND HAD TO GET EVERYTHING BACK THROUGH MEMORY, AND MY MEMORY IS B A D. I’M SORRY I KNOW YOU JUST WANTED TO TALK BUT IT ENDED UP BEING SUPER LONG AND LOOKS LIKE A HEADCANON THAN ANYTHING, MY FORMATTING IS REALLY LIKE THIS AAAAAAAA- I hope you enjoy ywy I like your brain, it brings good ideas and gives me good ideas too!

[brighteyedjill]

Why censor a fandom event?

Do the mods for a fandom event have the right to  make restrictions on content? Sure. They’re volunteers running their own event. 

But. Fandom is a culture that we build together. If we were just people enjoying media in our own homes, we would not be a community. But we’re not. We talk to each other, reblog each other’s amazing art, comment on AO3, squee in Discord channels over ideas, and so on. That’s what makes fandom great: we build it collectively. And like any culture, we have some shared norms. For example, since AO3 is a big influence on our culture, tagging has become a cultural norm in fandom. We tag for the “big four” warnings on AO3, and increasingly, tag more and more details of content to help people find what they like and avoid what they don’t. 

Fandom events like Big Bangs shape fandom culture, too, though. They bring together people who might otherwise not know each other, and have a tendency to dominate the fandom conversation for a time. Restrictions in a Big Bang have a chilling effect on content creators. That means that some work will not get written because of these restrictions, and also that people’s opinions towards this kind of content may be influenced on a larger scale. I personally find this unfortunate, as some of the things on the restricted list are things I’ve written about, uh, a lot. But aside from just me, there are larger implications to consider. Read more about the history of strikethrough and content restriction to learn about who is harassed and excluded when fandom culture turns against “questionable” content. 

I posit that restrictions like this are not always The Norm™ in fandom events, nor should they be. In a fandom like the Witcher, whose canon includes everything on the restricted list, most of them graphically, I believe content of a similar nature should be welcome in fandom content. I ran my first Big Bang in 2009, and have participated in half a dozen bangs and reverse bangs since. None of them had content restrictions (here’s an example of a Big Bang without content restrictions that’s been running since 2011). Some Big Bangs do; sometimes this is dependent on the canon content, more often it depends on who has power and influence in the fandom. Here’s a case for why not to include restrictions in future events.

What are these restrictions meant to do?

As I understand it, these restrictions are meant to make things more inclusive by allowing more people to participate. Are they successful in that? It’s possible they allow different people to participate. As with many things, there are competing access needs here. More on that below. But let’s look at what “making things more inclusive” means in practice. 

Problem: We want to allow participation from people who don’t want to come into contact with dark content. 

OK. Let’s help participants avoid coming into contact with dark content if they don’t want to. How might they come into contact with dark content?

1.) People might hear upsetting conversations in Discord chat

Solution: Ask people to post in the appropriate channel. Use a “walk away” rule to encourage people to leave the channel if a conversation comes up that they’re not comfortable with. If you want to go further, you could have people warn for certain topics, or restrict darker topics to a specific channel, though this runs up against a different issue (see below).

2) People might see content in the claims that they don’t like, or don’t want to work on. 

Solution: Usually in a Big Bang the artists look at a list of summaries and tags and choose which fic(s) they’d like to work on. No artist is going to be forced to work on anything they don’t want to. Even artists who enjoy dark content are often illustrating something other than the darkest, most graphic, or most explicit moment of a fic. In a claiming situation, you can have writers tag their fics, just like they would on AO3, to allow artists to filter out content they’re not interested in or that they would find upsetting. 

2.5) We won’t find any artist to work on certain pieces.

Solution: This happens sometimes. You could put out a call for more artist participants, allow artists to claim a second piece if they want, or you may have to tell a creator that there’s not a match for them. That is a bummer, but this happens sometimes, especially in fandoms where writers vastly outnumber artists. But in no scenario will any artist be forced to write for a piece that squicks them. 

3) People might see content in the Big Bang collection that they don’t like. 

Solution: This one’s pretty easy. Tagging. Tagging has been used on AO3 since its inception to help people avoid content they do not want to see. People don’t have to engage with content they don’t want to see if it is properly tagged. 

4) The mods don’t personally want to engage with the content. 

Solution: Find a mod who will, so that mods who don’t want to don’t have to! You can get a volunteer to do this, I guarantee.

5) I want to encourage the creation of lighter or SFW content.

Solution: I get that. Say so! Explain what content you welcome, and phrase what you’re looking for in a positive way (e.g. “We require that content be T rated or below and have a generally positive outlook and an upbeat ending.”) rather than what you don’t want. Be clear, specific, and up front about it, so that you connect with the creators you’re hoping will participate. 

6) I think this content should not exist. 

This is the one I can’t help you with. If the reason you’re banning content is because, consciously or unconsciously, you think that it’s morally reprehensible, or that the people who make it are bad, I do not have a solution to offer. 

Competing Access Needs

I’m not going to get too far into the weeds on how making a list of restricted topics is impossible, because others have addressed this point. No matter what list you come up with, someone out there will find something you failed to list, but that you feel should be restricted. What to do? If they’ve already completed a fic, tell them to leave? Tell them they have to change it? Let it slide? There will be endless questions about what is and isn’t allowed, which is time-consuming and exhausting for mods, and paralyzing for creators. How do I know if this scene is un-graphic enough? Will I need to revise my whole fic? Will I get kicked out entirely if I write the wrong thing? Will some participants get preferential treatment or the benefit of the doubt because of their identities or their connections?

Censorship brings up competing access needs. Someone doesn’t want to see non-con. Someone is writing non-con fic to work through their own trauma. Someone is writing it for other reasons. Can you accommodate all these folks? I would say yes, in the ways detailed above. But when you start restricting content (as in Strikethrough or Boldthrough, discussed in the history link above), you’re not wielding a scalpel. You’re wielding an anvil, and you’re gonna crush things you didn’t mean to crush. Again, check out the history link to see who gets crushed. 

So… what to do?

Do I think people should change the rules for the events they’re running? No (john mulaney we are well past that.gif). As I said, people who are running their own events have the prerogative to restrict them for whatever audience they’re hoping to reach. Questioning fandom practices is not “shitting on” anyone (and hey--no scat allowed). 

What I would really like is for Witcher fandom to have a think about how we want to proceed as a community. What should be the norm? Witcher fandom culture (in its current form, i.e. big) is still relatively young. There can be variation, sure: Discord server vibes vary wildly, for example. But in the big events or activities that we hope will be open to the largest part of the community, how do we want to intentionally foster the maximum amount of great content about our favorite things? There are ways to be inclusive that do not involve censorship, and I believe we should use them. 

[thepettymachine]

A Different Kind of Jam Legacy Challenge for TS3

Honestly I just wanted to make another challenge that involved colors and had a theme but then it changed into something completely different so I thought I share. 

The Jam Legacy is a 9 generation legacy challenge based on fruits you can put into jams/jellies and has a specific color palette if you choose to go with it. Each generation is a quirky bunch and meant for some weird gameplay. So if you enjoy weird gameplay, nice fall colors, and maybe 9 generations of fun, this might be your jam.

For those who wish to do this in TS4, @nadzicle​ created an excellent conversion  of this.

Tag: jam legacy or “@” me

Rules:

All requirements that are needed for the generation are in the “Ingredients” section. 

Have fun and do what you want.

Gen 1: Strawberry

Everyone loves strawberries. They are sweet and popular just like you. You love getting to talk and meet new people at every chance you get and everyone loves how friendly you are. But your desire to help people has been the main driving point in your life. As you tend to others, you also tend to neglect taking care of yourself. As a workaholic, your house is a mess, your children don’t get to see you anymore, and your personal life is in shambles. Need to take some PTO if you ask me. 

How to make Strawberry:

Ingredients:

Career: Doctor

LTW: Super Popular

2 Traits - Workaholic & Slob

20 Friends

Skill - Charisma

Directions:

Must have the Workaholic and Slob traits

Have 20 friends and maintain those relationships until the next generation.

Neglect your children’s skills (No teaching toddler skills, helping with homework or teaching teens to drive)

Can only clean the house once a week.

Must cancel any other interaction and no outside help

Master the Charisma skill

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Gen 2: Peach

Peaches are nice and juicy, just like your creative process. You enjoy creating as it brings joy to you and those around you. But as a child, your parents neglected you as they were focused on anything and everything but you. So you found love from others and in other places where you felt like you mattered. You deserve a treat and you also treat your children to whatever they want. They’re spoiled rotten.  

How to make Peach:

Ingredients: 

Career: Self Employed (Painter/Writer/Sculptor)

LTW: Illustrious Author

3 skills - Painting, Sculpting, and Writing

10 Lovers

Found Family

5,000 dollars

Children

Directions: 

Master the Painting, Sculpting, and Writing skills.

Have 10 different lovers throughout your lifetime/at the same time

Go to the spa/stylist once a week because you deserve it

Have a maximum of 5,000 in household funds. Any amount over you spend on unnecessary items/furniture/activities

Have a close relationship with your children (spoil them rotten)

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Gen 3: Grape

You’ve always had a dream where you had a big beautiful ranch that would allow for you to take care of your horses in peace as you flaunt your wealth to those who envy you. But working hard for that money is just too much of a hassle unless someone has already done the work for you. If you want to maintain your dream, I guess you gotta marry big or have them die trying. In the meantime, you invest your money into the local businesses around town and have a side gig for nectar making. Then invite those haters to your ranch only for them to be reminded just how much better you are than them. Have a sip of that wine.

How to make Grape:

Ingredients:

Career: Equestrian

LTW: The Jockey

Skills: Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding

3 pieces of property

2-3 horses

A ranch

Directions:

Own a ranch/farm that’s worth more than $150,000+

Have 2-3 horses

Master the Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding skills

Host a big party at least once a week

Own 3 pieces of property in town

Win a competition on the highest level for Racing

Marry a rich sim and have them mysteriously die from unknown circumstances

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Gen 4: Plum

You’ve always believed that the universe has the answers to the questions you’ve always wondered. Like why is the sky blue? What really happened to Bella Goth? Was my parent really killed for the insurance money or the inheritance of the ranch? Sometimes these questions are left unanswered which is why you investigate the truth, supernatural or not, because it is waiting out there to be solved. Might as well document it for the views. 

How to make Plum:

Ingredients:

Career: Private Investigator

LTW: Pervasive Private Eye

Skills: Logic and Social Networking

A 5 star blog

1 death

1 death flower

A death cure (ambrosia & death fish)

Directions:

Master the Logic and Social Networking skill

Have a 5 star blog

Have a death flower in your inventory so you can meet the Grim Reaper and beat death once

Have a sour relationship with your living parent and bring back your dead parent (if you can/applicable)

Be turned into a supernatural and then find the cure to be turned back (optional to be human again)

Be abducted by aliens and have an alien child.

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Gen 5: Pumpkin

There’s always been an obsession with finding ways to tinker and fix things with you. You’ve always  found comfort in creating something with your bare hands and you tend to enjoy your own company and make few friends since you live far away from everyone else. It’s mostly because you need the space for your inventions and experiments with time travel. Wait what?!You also pride yourself by living off your own land and deciding not to feast on your animal companions you find in the wilderness as they are your only friends.

How to make Pumpkin

Ingredients: 

Career: Inventor

LTW: Renaissance Sim

Skills: Inventing, Handiness, and Science

3 children

5 woodland creatures

Trait: Vegetarian

Directions:

Master the Inventing, Handiness, and Science skills

One of your children have to be from the time machine

No more than 3 kids in the household

House must be as far away from the town as possible

Own at least 5 small pets in your home.

Everything you cook must come from your garden, so no grocery shopping from the fridge

Must have the Vegetarian trait.

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Gen 6: Pomegranate

As a child, you’ve always wanted to see the sights and travel from your little corner of the world. But your heart has always yearned for a big family you never received for when you were younger. To have two worlds come together, you decide to do most of your traveling in spring/summer and stay at home in the fall/winter seasons. When you’re at home, you spend time with your children and cook their favorite meals all while joined by the fire. And when you’re not at home, you are traveling those big adventures you’ve always dreamed of doing and to bring home the stories and souvenirs your loved ones will enjoy. What a good life indeed.

How to make Pomegranate:

Ingredients:

Career: Stay at Home Parent

LTW: Seasoned Traveler

5 children

Skill - Cooking

Directions:

Spouse has to be from a different world than you

Have 5 children and have a great relationship with all of them

Master the Cooking skill

Celebrate each holiday at least once.

Cook everyone’s favorite meal at least once

Own a complete collection of artifacts from any destination

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Gen 7: Orange

Listening to stories growing up about meeting new people and exploring new worlds has put the call of adventure into your heart. But with the limited time in this world and so many resources on your hands, you’re kinda indecisive about what to do. So basically you just do about everything on an impulsive whim. Joined a band, check. Streak in public, check. Fought a shark, check. Got eaten by a cowplant and lived, check. Turn everybody into a zombie, thought about it. Go to the future and create a dystopian future, oh there’s an idea. Yeah you’re not settling for a while. Not until you find your greatest adventure.

How to make Orange:

Ingredients:

LTW: Jack of all Trades

1 best friend

10 skills

10 jobs

3 moves

1 great adventure

Directions:

Know 10 skills but never master any of them

Spend your life finding the greatest adventure that no one else in your family has done before.

Greatest adventure is defined by you and what you believe is an adventure.

Marry your best friend as an adult

Move 3 times in your lifetime

Have at least 10 jobs under your belt (but you don’t have to reach the highest level in any of them)

Do the most dangerous inappropriate stuff at least 3 times a week.

Streaking/Skinny dipping/making out with a married person/fighting a child/etc

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Gen 8: Kumquat

You can’t stand the status quo of things and you definitely can’t stand the injustice that society normalizes. So something has to change, rather through art or always fighting the system, you believe in changing the world. One step at a time. 

How to make Kumquat

Ingredients:

LTW: Street Credible

Rebel Status

2 local protests

1 skill - Street art

3 enemies

1 change to the world

Directions:

Pull pranks as a teenager on all your neighbors

Get kicked out of college

Reach level 10 of the Rebel status

Protest at least 2 times a week

Master the Street art skill

Have 3 enemies

Can not have a typical career/9-5 job

Contribute to the future - create a utopia/dystopia for the future, become a politician as an adult or become a teacher to teach the youth. Up to you. 

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Gen 9. Blackberry

Growing up, you’ve learned how to always fight for the things you love. Through the strums of your guitar, you’ve created a melody that others can get behind when they are sad, angry, or happy. It’s the battle cry of your performance and the applause of the crowds that keep you going. It’s just that sometimes you wish you had someone to keep you going when things get rough as well. At least you have your bandmates, right?

How to make Blackberry

Ingredients:

LTW: One Sim Band

Career: Band member/Singer

4 Skills: Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass

2 failed relationships

1 comeback tour

1 true love/soulmate

Directions:

Master the Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass Skills

Create/Join a Band

Have 2 failed relationships before finding the one

True Love Checklist - Attractive, Compatible Sign, 2 similar traits, and the Virtuoso trait

Become a 5 star celebrity

Quit the band to have a solo career as a Singer

Reunite as elders for your comeback tour

Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed.

Edit: 10/22/21

[andmaybegayer]

What is bus mode Ethernet?

Where did you even find that post buddy. That was so long ago *aide whispers in my ear* what do you mean only one month! December was four years ago!

So this is specifically talking about how wired networks are laid out. Nowadays, when you lay out a network for, say, a datacenter or an office, you lay it out in a star topology, using switches. That looks like this:

A switch is a smart appliance, which means it has an awareness of the network and can make decisions. If computer A decides it wants to talk to computer C, it sends a message down its link tagged with the address of C. The switch sees this packet and goes “ah-ha, I know where C is!” and sends the message down the right line. Notably here, B and D never even know this transaction took place. This is sometimes called point-to-point networking, because messages are only sent to the places they are needed.

Switches are popular nowadays, but there’s a problem: They’re computers. Because a switch is making decisions, potentially very fast decisions, it requires a fast processor. In the 90′s and earlier, such a device could cost an extraordinary amount of money: USD 100 per port was considered an absolute steal in 1997, and the further you go back, the worse it gets. A small office with a dozen computers probably doesn’t want to fork over USD 5000 just to network share sub-megabyte files and get emails.

The solution to this is Bus Networking.

It’s called Bus Networking because all traffic shares the same connections and thus share bandwidth. Y’know, like public transport.

This is a simple Ethernet Bus network. In this situation, if computer A wants to talk to computer C, it still emits a packet tagged with the address for C, but now there’s a difference: B and D can also see this packet coming through, and if they want they could ignore the addressing and read what it contains.

(note: those things on the end of the line represent signal terminators. On a long wire like this a message could bounce back from unterminated ends, interfering with traffic)

That’s not the biggest issue with bus networks though: the real issue is collisions!

If A tries to talk to C, but at the same time B tries to talk to D, two signals cannot travel on a wire at once. They mix up, and no one gets their message across. A collision has occured.

Fortunately for us, some Hawaiian researchers solved this problem in the 70′s when they were setting up radio communications between the Hawaiian Islands, a system called ALOHAnet. Radio has this problem as well: if everyone is broadcasting on one frequency, two people broadcasting can get muddled and now no-one gets to hear what was said. How can you efficiently send messages without collisions when you have no way to coordinate between members? Remember, trying to send a message to say “okay, you go first, then I’ll go” has as much chance of colliding as anything else!

We solve this with the ALOHA protocol, which is loosely as follows:

Pretend you are a computer. If you are already a computer, skip this step.

Send your message.

Listen for any messages from anyone else.

If you hear a message from someone else, then you know there’s been a collision. You can trust that they also heard your message.

Roll a small random number, let’s say between 1 and 6. Wait that much time. Everyone else on the network who wants to transmit does the same.

If you hear a message come through before you can send yours, wait for them to finish before you send.

Try and send when your timer expires and you have an opening

Listen for any messages from anyone else.

If you hear a message from someone else, there’s been another collision. Increase the size of your random number (try doubling the upper bound), roll again, and go back to step 4.

If you successfully transmit, you’re done!

This largely solves the problem. You have a way for all these devices sharing nothing more than a wire to communicate with each other. Make one of those devices a router with access to the network and  you’re surfing the information superhighway!

On a not-too-busy network with a handful of users, this works surprisingly well, but it has a problem: as you get more and more active users on one network, the amount of time it takes for everyone to randomly roll the right numbers to transmit gets higher and higher, until the whole network bogs down. There are slight improvements to ALOHA that improve throughput, but you start to run up against mathematical limits pretty fast. With the addition of dedicated transmission slots rather than haphazardly counting down without a care in the world, ALOHA can reach about 35% utilization of a link.

An additional note: at this time, Ethernet didn’t run over CAT-5 like it does now. CAT-5 terminated in RJ-45 is what we usually use nowadays because we want to support 100-1000 megabit per second speeds,

Back in the Bad Old Days, ethernet generally ran over coaxial cable, sometimes called ThinNet, i.e. this shit, which you may recognize if you’ve ever used lab equipment.

Hence, you really could just tap off new lines from this pretty easily, you just had to join two wires and you were off to the races. This  was actually preceded by a bigger serial interface, affectionately referred to as ThickNet. Both could run at about 10Mbps maximum, which, once you throw in that 35% utilization? You can see why we needed to move past this. 3.5Mbps was slow for a local network even in the 80′s.

Nowdays, you can buy a brand new switch for a pretty reasonable price, or a used switch for a downright bargain, running at speeds that would have blown the socks off a Cray engineer a couple decades ago. Bus-mode ethernet basically only exists in weird industrial and sensor applications where switches are impractical or unnecessary, plus we have Wi-Fi now. Wi-Fi doesn’t have to deal with the same problems as ALOHA, because it allocates little chunks of frequency and time to every device on the network, keeping most transmissions separate one way or another with careful negotiation.

Bus mode ethernet still works, even with modern networking! If you decided to splice a bunch of modern PC’s together with junction boxes and allocated addresses to them all, they would step in line and roll back to this antique networking technique because it’s all part of the standard.

I’m gonna call it here but I do have another post in me about the way bus networks were actually set up and the weird as hell switches you might have found in a burgeoning 80′s tech company. Let me know if that sounds like anything.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Dew Covered Rose

A/N: So we’re ignoring the fact that I haven’t written in like......two, three months. I honestly just haven’t felt like it, and my brain has been busy thinking about writing, or getting back to my daydreams, or thinking about Midnight. Comfort character tingz. But yeah, I’m bringing Topazi back (i also forgot when juneteenth was, I was supposed to do something for her then, I missed the day, but here I made up for it :) This is mild hurt/comfort, except my OC is tired, not hurt. Also this is probably time to mention that Topazi is a gardener, and goes to clients houses to plant things for them! Enjoy!

Tag List: @joz-stankovich, @misskittysmagicportal, @badsext, @super-unpredictable98, @the-freckled-luba, @magic-multicolored-miracle, @ghouls-buddy, @maerenee930, @frogs--are--bitches, @neuroticpuppy, @forenschik, @bisexualnathanyoung, @robert-sheehan, @firstpersonnarrator, @salvador-daley

Warnings: kinda unsafe driving bc sleep deprivation, brief mentions of nudity, swearing

  Topazi had a bit of a tiring day. The house that she’d been working at had almost no shade. The customers were as nice as they could be.....but it seemed as though every tulip that she planted correctly, they would request it to be put in a different place. Even though there was an extremely limited amount of space that she had to work with. It was very frustrating to her, to be honest. However, she got the job done. It took hours of her digging things back up and wiping sweat off of her face to be happy with the result. She was sure to make sure that everything was as good as it could be before the left for home. Even the thought of having to get back in her car and do something other than cuddle up and or sleep was killing her.

  It was late into the night, and the owl in the front yard stared at her as she pulled into the driveway, eyes barely open. She took multiple deep breaths and rubbed a calloused hand over her face before stepping out of the car, not even bothering to take her tools out of the trunk. She trudged her way into the house, carefully unlocking the door, as to not disturb Klaus, who should’ve been close to sleep, or in bed at that point. She tossed the keys into the bowl by the door, and hung her coat up, silently grimacing at the soreness already developing in her arms. 

  Not having the energy to call out to Klaus, she walked into the kitchen, finding one of the cats on top of the kitchen island, fast asleep. A small smile found its way onto her face as she gently pet it, smoothing down the fur on top of her face. She made her way over to the fridge, which she opened, very slowly, to find leftovers of spaghetti that Klaus had cooked for himself. She could never stand the noodles and sauce together, so she looked around for more things. Canned soup in the pantry....she’d have to heat it up, and she needed something instant. Juice wouldn’t be filling enough. She began to nod off, looking at the fridge once more, and she found a solution that she’d looked over. A sandwich.

“Thank fuck for bread.” she thought to herself as she grabbed the bologna, mayonnaise, and cheese slices from their respective spots before grabbing a knife and paper towel. By the time she put the bread back, her sleep levels had reached almost the maximum, and she began nodding off, head on the side of the fridge. She quickly came to her senses, and trotted back over to the island, joints creaking.

  She sat down on one of the stools on the kitchen island. (”Klaus, I need the stools, if my legs don’t look like a pretzel, I’m not sitting correctly.”) As she took a bite of her sandwich (crust first), her brain decided to shut down temporarily, and she almost fell asleep eating. The suds episode of Spongebob Squarepants, however, prevented her from doing so. She slowly ate the sandwich, grateful for the purpose that it served. After she finished her first bite, however, she completely knocked out. The cat woke up, looking at her owner, before hopping off of the counter, and walking up the stairs.

  Klaus had heard Topazi come home, but it’d been a while since he heard her open the fridge last, so he went to check on her. He avoided Minnie on the steps (as in Minnie Riperton, not the mouse) and walked into the kitchen, to find his lover fast asleep, small snores coming from her mouth. He smiled, almost letting a chuckle past his lips when he realized his task.

 “She looks fucking wasted.” he thought, before gently shaking her awake, resulting in a groan of annoyance.

“Come on T, you gotta get to bed.” he whispered, rubbing her back. She leaned against his chest, and shook her head into it, too tired to utter a rebuttal.

  Klaus chuckled lightly, and put Topazi’s used paper towel in the trash can, and her utensils in the sink, to be washed when he eventually came back down for his late night (and sometimes morning) snack. He gently picked her up, leaning down to press a small kiss to her forehead. He thought back simply how much he just loved her. He didn’t know how, as he said that “I can’t fall for someone completely. At least not again.” but he did. Although, it wasn’t completely all at once though. 

 Klaus made his way up the steps (once more avoiding Minnie), and into their shared bedroom where he gently laid Topazi down on the bed. He figured that she may want to be clean when she slept as well, but was somewhat confused how he was to go about the entire “my partner is half asleep and I’d hate to disrespect her boundaries”. So, he settled on simply getting rid of her outer clothes, and bra, then placing nightie over her form. It was one of the newer ones she’d bought. She would go on and on about how “there’s tiny flowers on this nightgown Klaus, I need to buy it”.....ah he loves Topazi with all of his heart.

  He gently tucked his lover into bed, making sure that she’s close enough to her phone that she won’t be grouchy about having to move from her spot in order to reach it. Topazi stirred in her slumber, but only a bit, and Klaus went down to the kitchen for his meal, which was going to be a good old fashioned lover boy nutter butter. Klaus thought back to when he first met Topazi as he ate his sandwich. It had been right after he met his....other siblings...like other other siblings. She was quietly sitting in a coffee shop, where she had her knees to her chest, reading a book. She was deep in concentration, but when Klaus found nowhere to sit, he had no choice but to ask her. (or to leave the shop and drink his hot chocolate elsewhere, but nah)

“Um, can I sit here?” he asked, pointing to the seat. She nodded her head without looking up, making a small noise of affirmation at the back of her throat. Klaus sat in the booth across from her, his shoes making a squeaky noise on the tile below. He awkwardly crosses his legs, taking small sips of the drink.

“What are you reading?” he asked, eyebrows quirked upwards. She gently lifted her book, and it read “The Human Anatomy, Down to the Bone Cell” He hmmed in acknowledgement, and resorted to looking out of the window. 

 The drops of rain raced each other on the windowsill, determined for few seconds at a time, only to puddle together in the end. Klaus stared at a single corner outside, where nobody seemed to be walking over. It was the crack where the sidewalk met the much smaller border of the sidewalk. He watched the rainwater trickle into it, and he felt himself start to zone out. But that was alright...he needed time to think.

  This, in turn, was perfect for Topazi to stop reading her book and stare at this stranger. New people aren’t really her thing, as they’re usually below her standard of who she liked keeping in her circle. She peered at the way his curls were somewhat tussled, like he’d been caught in a windstorm of some sort. (Although it’s been rainy all day, no wind whatsoever.), she thought to herself. His eyes were beautiful, but so tired, it seemed. Wonderful shade of green, she thought, too. She pondered the different shades of green that she could remember, which lead to her thinking of the floating diamond of Sims’ characters. (plumbob, she repeated, overenunciating the first syllable). She went back to the thought at hand, and looked at the hand clutching the cup of hot chocolate, still seeming to be warm to the touch, judging by the steam coming from the mouthpiece of the top.

  His hand was veiny, somewhat red, (maybe because of the heat). His fingers looked very pale though, almost as if they’d recently been subjected to extreme cold, or flashes of it. (the rain, she thought) His chest was partially exposed due to the.....vest that he was wearing (maybe he’s some sort of performer, he does have a cowboy hat) She paid more attention to his face, also tired, and glanced at his lips, but only for a moment, as she didn’t need to get exceedingly horny in a public space over a complete stranger.....again. She softly gasped when he looked back at her, and she softly smiled, getting back to her book.

“Were you just staring at me?” Klaus asked, looking back at her.

“Yes.” she replied, eyes skimming over her paragraph on metacarpals. She had a fleeting thought to wiggle her hand in front of her face in order to properly label everything, but she could do that back at home.

“Why?” he asked, his tone giving off the fact that he wasn’t in fact upset, just curious.

“Eye contact isn’t my favorite thing, neither is small talk, especially if I’m preoccupied, so I sometimes stare at people in order to get a better understanding of them.” she explained, glancing at Klaus.

“Oh, well, don’t mind me then. I won’t bother you.” he said, looking at the table. Topazi put her book facedown on the table, apologizing.

“You’re fine! You didn’t try to talk to me, and you respected me when I didn’t reply with the name of my book, verbally at least. I like that.” she replied, deciding to look Klaus in the eye.

“Oh, thank you. Care to tell me why you’re reading about human cells?” he teased, a smirk coming to his lips. Topazi panicked for a moment, because she thought “fuck....he’s a charmer”

  She did tell him about why she was reading about human cells. And why she kept scratching a portion of the book as she read. He even noticed how she bit her lip when she read, which lead him to think that she was actually reading some sort of cell erotica, only to remember what she had previously told him. They talked for hours, it seemed. For once, Topazi found someone that she could talk to and not get tired. Interests, parents, everything (maybe a bit too much). They eventually had to separate, but not after giving each other their numbers, and Klaus found a small feeling of joy in his chest as he walked out of the coffee shop. He walked back into the Hargreeves (uh.....Sparrow) mansion with a small smile on his face. His face hurt, not from too much sun, or biting his lips too much. From pure excitement and joy, he found. Bubbling out of him, steamrolling its way out into the open. His fists shook in glee, and he squealed, and he didn’t care. For once. He needed something good, and she was it. Beautiful Topazi. Wonderful Topazi. That’s the answer.

  Klaus came back to his senses as he realized that some of the marshmallow fluff had leaked its way onto the counter where he scooped it up with a finger, tempted to put it into his mouth. A few moments of thinking gave him his decision. He imagined Topazi’s look of disgust when she caught him doing that once, and stuck his finger under the tap for a few moments, wiping the water off on his bare thigh. He finished his sandwich, and went back upstairs (once again avoiding Minnie). He snuggled next to his partner in bed, breathing in deeply. Yeah....she’d need a bit of a shower when she woke up, but that’s alright. That’s alright though. She would spend the rest of the day at home, to rest from being on her feet and knees for hours the previous day. And he’d tell her how important and beautiful she is, and think about how he’d almost went to the pizza shop across the street. But he didn’t. And he chose right, so right. With no regrets, for the first time he could think of in a while.

Masterlist

[rexcoatlarchive]

Such a thing as too much love (rewrite)

After receiving some criticism and advice and taking a look back at Quetz in game I've decided to rewrite this story. I'm leaving the other one alone for comparisons sake.

Palingenesis was a unique ritual chaldea used to help improve the servants and help them reach their fullest. The process caps out at what would be considered lvl 100 but it was never said whether or not that was truly the maximum.

Rex, in his deep love for his wife, had already helped her achieve the maximum for both her rider and ruler forms. But he always considered the possibility of going further. He wanted his goddess of a wife to go even further beyond her limits in this fight to save humanity.

Quetzalcoatl on the other hand saw the idea as him picking favorites. She thought it wasn't right and would rather prioritize grailing others to help. He wasn't afraid to admit that he really was biased, but that it only made sense, she was his wife so why shouldn't he treat her better.

Eventually after enough convincing she finally agreed on the condition that he only use 1 more grail, and any others would be used for other servants. Rex was fine with this, since she would go beyond 100 but others would still cap off at 100.

Quetz: mi amor, I understand that you love me very much. But it still doesn't feel right for you to spoil me in this way.

Rex: I understand mi corazon, but what kind of husband would I be if I don't spoil you once in a while.

Quetz: even if you did, I rather other forms of spoiling. Like setting up another lucha match like before.

Rex: we can do that another time. Now it's time for you to go beyond!

The ritual was being done in the couple's room rather then where it was traditionally done, as it wasn't allowed to try to go beyond the maximum. It also took a large amount of concentration, which was not Rex's strong suit.

Quetz: since you're doing it anyways, make sure you concentrate as hard as you can. You know you're not that good at it, your mind wanders too much.

Rex: I understand, and I will make sure it goes without a hitch!

He would be unable to do this however. As he was focusing, he couldn't help but get excited at the idea of a stronger Quetzalcoatl, this would cause him to botch the ritual and lead to the creation of something very interesting.

Rex: here goes nothing!

As he said this the grail glowed a bright white color and then light filled the room, before subsiding revealing the couple to be left on the floor.

Rex: oooohh, Quetz are you good?

Quetz: si. What about you mi amor?

Rex: I'm fine, what happ-

But before he could finish this thought the two noticed the new presence in the room. Another female servant, who looked remarkably similar to the floored sun goddess.

Quetz: eh?! Who are you?!

The other Quetzalcoatl stood there, with a more aggressive demeanor. Her smile was far more toothy then the original, her skin a pale snow white. Her headdress consisting mostly of feathers, her clothing colored an obsidian black and her choice of weaponry, a large spear rather then the sword the original wielded.

???: I'm you, pendeja!

Her words felt different from how the original would've spoken. They felt like the words of someone trying to start a fight. Her eyes shined a sharp gold color, and were slit like those of a snake's. When she opened her mouth a forked tongue could be seen, flickering like a snake's.

Quetz stood up, ready to fight if need be, but prioritized protecting her beloved master. She stood in front of Rex to keep him safe.

Quetz: mi amor! Stay behind me! We don't know who she is or what she'll do

The other one was clearly annoyed by this, when she looked at the original Quetzalcoatl her eyes stared daggers, she clearly wanted to start fighting the original. But when her eyes met those of the master they dilated like a cat seeing their prey, she seemed to harbor genuine affection towards him. It seemed to be something that carried over from the original.

???: you trying to keep master away from me is really irritating other me. Things would go smoother if you learned to share.

Quetz: I don't know what you mean by "other me" but I do know I won't let you get to my master.

???: isn't it obvious? Do you not remember Christmas? Or do you need another lucha match to help jog the memories?!

The other goddess spoke in a very aggressive manner. She was like a heel wrestler in WWE, or a Ruda as they would be called in lucha libre. She wanted to fight, she loved the idea. Especially with the original. Perhaps it was a way to show dominance.

Quetz: are you telling me you're Black Quetzal mask?

???: close enough, I have the memories of her from that Christmas. But I'm so much more this time around.

Rex: so did I end up splitting you like before?

Quetz: I don't think so, I don't feel any different. Maybe that's what she means by more?

???: exactly! Now you're getting it other me! I'm the new aggressive ruda Quetzalcoatl! Tho I guess another name would be more fitting? Hmmm, how about Kulkucan!?

Rex: the mayan feathered serpent? The one far more ok with the sacrifices and acted more like a war goddess?

Kuku: that's exactly right! My how smart mi amor!

She spoke to Rex in a far more kind manner then towards the original, she almost felt like the original gentler version when speaking to him. It was clear she seemed to want to be with him, but Quetzalcoatl wasn't having it.

Quetz: you don't have the right to call him that! Es mi esposo! Not yours!

Kuku: I knew you'd be like this! I was ready for a fight! Now we can have a real lucha match, no holding back!

Quetz: fine by me!

Rex: wait! Not here! You'll wreck the room!

Quetz: he's right, we're better off doing this somewhere else.

Kuku: fine by me! Anywhere's fine, I'll kick your ass regardless!

But as this was being said, the door opened

Mash: hey senpai! Da Vinci needs to ta- what the!? Whose that?!

Rex: it seems we've stumbled upon a Quetzalcoatl alter.

Mash: how do you stumble upon an alter in your room?

As she said this she noticed the grail on the floor

Mash: senpai! Did you try to use palingenesis more then what's allowed?!

Rex: ...maybe

Quetz: wait is that why?! Did you not concentrate?!

Rex: I was trying to but I guess my mind wandered. I didn't think this would happen tho!

Mash: it seems like you accidentally did the same thing Gilles and Medb did in their respective singularities.

Rex: not sure how to feel about those comparisons.

Mash: now what do we do?!

As this was happening Kulkucan took the opportunity to try and steal away the master, but Quetzalcoatl managed to grab him before she could make off with him.

Quetz: please let go of him! *she says as she starts to pull*

Kuku: I don't think so! He's mine now! *she pulls in her direction*

Quetz: like I'll let that happen! You're hurting him anyways so stop!

Kulkucan reluctantly conceded, if there was one thing she didn't want to do it was hurting Rex.

Kuku: ugh fine! *she says as she let's go of him*

This action lead to Rex and Quetzalcoatl falling over.

Mash: senpai are you ok?!

Rex: I'm fine

The alter stared daggers at the original again, annoyed that she had to let go

Mash: I think we need to get the others involved.

Later the group were in the command room. When Da Vinci was informed of what had happened, she was annoyed.

Da Vinci: you see stuff like this is why we cap it off at 100. And why we have a special facility for the ritual in the first place!

Rex: I'm sorry!

Quetz: ...si, I'm sorry too.

Da Vinci: what the hell are we going to do with the 2nd Quetzalcoatl.

Kuku: there's nothing to do! Just let us have our lucha match! Winner takes Rex!

Quetz: like I'd ever agree to those terms!

Kuku: ha! Afraid of losing!?

Quetz: I won't risk my marriage on a single lucha match! Regardless of how confident I am of victory!

Kuku: that just proves you don't think you can handle it!

Rex: that's enough you two! Please stop this, you don't need to fight so much!

Quetz: I'm sorry mi amor! I guess the idea of losing you riled me up too much!

She says this while hugging Rex, though it seemed that Kulkucan had something to say about this.

Kuku: don't hog all the love for yourself!

Now she started to try and hug him, leading to pushing and shoving from the two goddesses.

Da Vinci: cut it out! You might hurt him!

This lead to the two to stop what they were doing. It seemed that their master's safety was of the utmost importance to the both of them.

Both: sorry.

Da Vinci: Rex, you have to decide what to do. You caused this so now decide how to resolve it.

Rex: I mean, I'm not sure what to do. I know Quetz doesn't like Kuku. But she's a lot like Quetz, just more aggressive, so getting rid of her sounds wrong too.

The two goddesses didn't like that the situation frustrated their master, so they did the unexpected.

Quetz: ...well, I guess I can deal with her for your sake.

Rex: are you sure?

Quetz: si... I don't Ike sharing but you don't have to get rid of her.

Kuku: and I won't try fighting her so much, for your sake. It's the least I can do.

Rex: well I guess that's fine.

Da Vinci: well another servant joining isn't too bad.

Mash: what's her clas anyways? Is she a rider?

Kuku: I'm actually a Lancer! If you couldn't tell from my spear.

Rex: now we have 3 classes for Quetz! Interesting.

There's the rewrite. Hopefully I did a better job of keeping the original Quetz feeling more like herself and Kulkucan feeling more aggressive.

Tagging again

@panyum @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @gxymlky @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @grievouslyxorvia @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @castlecsejtespeakertechnician

[do-it-with-style-events]

Interest Check FAQ!

Hey everyone! We were absolutely blown away with the response to our Reverse Bang interest check—we can’t wait to get signups open tomorrow! There were some great questions asked on the interest form, so below the cut you’ll find some answers and explanations about things people have been confused about, plus a full explanation of how we’ll be running writer claims at the very bottom.

What happens if I don’t get claimed / get a piece during claims?

The DIWS mod team is committed to making sure everyone gets a match during claims. If you sign up, you’ll be able to participate. All writers will be given a piece of art, and all artists are guaranteed that at least one of their submitted pieces will be claimed. There’s a detailed explanation about the claims process at the bottom of this post, but rest assured, we will get everyone matched up.

Can I submit more than one piece as an artist?

Short answer: YES!

Longer answer: Yes, but with some specifications. Since we won’t know the exact balance of artists to writers until sign ups close, we’ve created a system that allows us a fair amount of flexibility, so we can adjust with the numbers.

Artists may submit up to 2 pieces which will be guaranteed to go onto the claims slides for the writers to look at. We only guarantee that one piece per artist will be claimed, but it is likely that any piece on the claims slides will be claimed.

In addition, artists may submit up to 2 pieces which will not be guaranteed to go onto the claims slides. Depending on how many art submissions we get and how many writers sign up, we will dip into this list of extra pieces at random to make sure we have enough art to go around. If you submit 2 extra pieces, you’ll be able to rank them, and we’ll go through everyone’s first extra piece before we start adding second ones.

We know this is a bit complicated, and as always please ask questions if you’re not sure about something. It all comes down to a matter of numbers. There’s no way for us to ensure there is exactly the same number of art pieces as there are writers, so we need this flexibility to make sure everyone ends up happily on a team.

What if I’m an artist and a writer?

If you’re signing up as both an artist and a writer, you may submit one initial art piece and one extra.

Is there a theme?

Nope! As long as it’s a Good Omens fanwork and does not include RPF (Real Person Fiction) or one of the Archive of Our Own major archive warning tags without prior approval from the mod team you’re golden!

Are crossovers allowed?

To a certain extent. Fusions, where you take another source material’s setting or aesthetic or inspiration from the plot are allowed, but full crossovers involving characters from other sources are not. A good rule of thumb is if someone could understand the piece fully without knowing anything about the non-Good Omens source material.

What’s the required word count for fics?

Minimum word count for all fics is 5k. There is not a maximum, BUT we strongly encourage you to plan a piece which you can complete in five chapters or less. This isn’t a hard limit, especially since once you’re working with an artist both works may grow from the collaboration, but please base your initial plans around keeping your work relatively small.

Are languages other than English allowed for fics?

Unfortunately no. We can’t guarantee matches for non-English works, and on the moderation side we won’t be able to do check-ins or claims effectively, so all fics must be written in English for this event.

How can I help out as a beta?

Because we don’t require beta readers or do beta claims, we won’t have beta signups for this event. We did for the Mini Bang and then didn’t use the list of signups much, so have decided to forgo it this time. However, we do have pingable beta roles for both fic and art in our discord server, so if you’d like to help out as a beta for the Reverse Bang we suggest you join us over there so writers and artists can contact you if they want help!

What does the timeline for working on event pieces look like?

You can check out our schedule right here!

Also, keep in mind that while posting begins on January 17th, it will go on for several weeks, likely until the end of February. And we don’t require the entire piece to go up on your posting day, so it doesn’t have to be completely finished by then, either.

If you aren’t sure that you’ll be able to commit to this timeline right now, you can also consider joining us as a pinch hitter, for either writing or art, and jump in to help a group that’s lost a member later on.

Claims

We’ve had a lot of really good questions about claims, which makes sense! Claims are complicated, and we totally get that they can be a bit anxiety inducing, so we decided to just give you a walkthrough of exactly how we do claims from start to finish. We’ll be using essentially the same system we did for the Mini Bang.

Before claims, artists will submit a draft of their piece along with some extra info: a working title, tags, warnings, the rating(s) they’re comfortable with, and, if they’d like, a loose summary or concept for a fic they imagine relating to their piece. The mods will collect this info, anonymize it by assigning each work a number, and then put them all into a doc. That doc will be shared with the writers, who will have about a week to peruse them and decide which pieces catch their eye the most.

(A note on anonymity: it isn’t going to be perfect this time. Art styles are much more immediately recognizable than written ones, even in a drafting stage. We are confident though that the randomization element of our claims system should solve any issues recognizing artists could cause.)

During claims, all writers will be sent a google form to fill out. On this form, we ask for a ranked list of the artworks the writer is interested in working on. Last time we asked for a minimum of 7; we’ll decide what this event’s minimum will be after signups have closed and we know what our artist to writer ratio is.

Once the claims form has closed (after 48 hours), the mods will get to work pairing people up. Our system has a lot of moving parts, so bear with us while we go through this.

To start off, we assign every writer a random number. We do not do claims first come first serve, so this random number gives us our sorting order. Writers who are under 18 are given the first numbers, to make sure they can be paired with SFW only artwork.

Our first goal is to make sure everyone gets paired. To facilitate that, we start off by pairing up any art piece which was only claimed by one writer. We continue to pair solitary matches throughout the process when new ones appear as matched pairs are removed from the list.

Once there are no more solitary matches, we start at the top of our randomized writer list and give them the first artwork listed in their claims form. Then that writer and that art piece are removed from the list, and we continue on. As works are removed from the list, new solitary pairs may occur, and we pair them as soon as they show up, then continue down the numbered list.

As an example:

Writer #1 listed arts: 6, 4, 18, 22, 94, 38, 2, 71, 64, and 40 Writer #2 listed arts: 71, 83, 49, 22, 41, 17, 46, 60, 81, and 3 Writer #3 listed arts: 6, 71, 38, 94, 71, 62, 6, 18, 30, and 13

Writer #1 gets art 6; Writer #2 gets art 71; Writer #3 gets art 38, because the first two on their list are already assigned.

As an extra precaution to make sure everyone gets a pair, we’ll be offering writers the option to act as a wild card instead of giving us a ranked list of art pieces. Wild card writers will be assigned wherever we need to fill in once the main process is done. Wild card writers will still be allowed to tell us which ratings they are comfortable with and to give us a no-go list of things they would not like to be paired with, which we will respect when giving them their assignments.

This is a complicated process, we know. It took us about 3 days to figure out how to make all the moving pieces work last time, but in the end it went fantastically, and we’re confident it will work just as well this time. If you have any questions about it please don’t hesitate to reach out; we want everyone to feel comfortable with the game plan before we dive into it!

[fanfictionaries]

Classic Trope Writing Challenge

So, I just reached 300 followers! I’m so happy and honored that 300 people deem me worthy enough to follow and read what I write. I’ve also been so touched by the monumental amount of kindness and support I’ve received since joining this community. Therefore, to celebrate I’d like to host a writing challenge.

The theme of which is…Classic Tropes in fan fiction! As a fairly new writer, I’ve yet to write all the well-known tropes seen in fan fiction writing. Although they’re “well-loved” concepts, we keep coming BACK to them! Therefore, I thought it’d be fun to celebrate the tropes we know and love by either writing for a trope we’ve yet to do or coming back to a familiar trope we haven’t written in a while.

I will be constructing a Masterlist of all the submissions once the deadline is reached!

Rules:

You do not have to be following me to participate, although I would wholeheartedly appreciate it if you did.

If you choose to participate, please reblog this post so that others can potentially participate! Or feel free to share even if you don’t choose to participate. Someone else might want to!

Send me your trope with your pairing in an ask.

Two people per trope; a single pairing per trope – for example: Two people can sign up for the ‘One Bed’ trope, but only one person can do it with a Steve pairing.

Open for all Marvel characters! Seriously – any!

Feel free to do any kind of pairing – OCs, reader inserts, Character/Character, etc.

No crossovers – sorry but I want to keep this to marvel characters and original characters/reader only. I personally find crossovers really messy to follow if you’re not familiar with BOTH fandoms.

F/M, F/F, M/M, F/F/F, M/M/F, F/F/M, etc. seriously it’s all up for grabs! Let your little hearts write what you desire!

Can be as smutty or as not-smutty as you want!

Use the “keep reading” insert on anything over 500 words.

If you chose to do a series based off of this, try to make a Masterlist for the series and tag me in that so I can list it to my Challenge Masterlist.

Remember to use proper warnings.

No word minimum or maximum.

Due date: August 1st, 2020

@ me in the author note and make sure to use #FanFictionariesClassicTropeChallenge in the first five tags!

So, without further ado:

*Notes in italics after each trope are just me trying to be funny. They are not requirements of the trope.

Situational Tropes 

Roommates - Oh my god, they were roommates

One Bed - Oh no… there’s only one bed ( @sunlightdances​ w/Bucky) 

Best friends/Mutual Pining - Sure, we’re in love with each other and everyone knows it, but WE DON’T.

Sibling’s best friend – He’s my brother’s BEST FRIEND, I couldn’t possibly…

Best friend’s sibling – He’s my BEST FRIENDS brother, I couldn’t possibly… ( @helahades​ w/Wanda) 

Snowed In – It’s just so cold! ( @need-a-fugue​ wlBucky) 

Sex Pollen - It’s a fuck or die situation here baby.

Touch Starved - Don’t touch me, but also please for the love of god touch me. ( @sapphirescrolls​ w/ Bucky)

Sugar Daddy – Mo’ money, Mo’ sexy.

Fake Dating - There’s no way that pretending to be in love could go wrong! ( @golddaggers​ w/Thor) ( @is-it-madness​ w/ Loki) 

Enemies to Lovers - I hate you! I hate you more! Let’s fuck.

Locked in - I guess we’re stuck in here till someone finds us - how will we ever pass the time?

Set up - Maybe we can trick them into confessing their feelings…

Hurt/Protective – Who hurt you? I’ll kill them. ( @nekoannie-chan​ w/?)

The #’s Thing – The five times Thor picked up a snake and it was Loki, and the one time it wasn’t.

AU Tropes

Soulmates - It’s like we were made for each other! Oh wait, we were.

Royal - Your majesty. ( @timelessoldiers​ w/Natasha)

Magical Creature - Vampires, Fairies, Werewolves, Unicorns, Centaurs, etc. ( @nekoannie-chan​ w/?) 

Modern - All the same lovely characters, but like as real people.

Professor - Is there any way I could raise my grade…? ( @jbbuckybarnes​ w/ Bucky; @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall​ w/ Steve) 

A/B/O - Knot to be too forward, but I would like to dominate you.

Fairy Tale - Prince charming and all that jazz.

Biker - Give me all my favorites — but on motorcycles.

Fire Fighter - Yes baby! Slide down that pole!

Mobster – Mark me down as scared AND horny!

Police - What seems to be the problem officer?

War Vet – Thank you for your service.

Stripper – She’s my cherry pie!

Barista – Hot. Like my coffee.

Librarian – Meet me in the stacks.

[unforth]

Hi there! I absolutely loooove the destiel fic collection and think that it's a genius way to expose fans to fics that might not always get as much attention on fic recs and when searching on ao3. I was thinking of trying to create a similar collection for another fandom and was wondering if you have any tips? Or if there's anything that you wish you knew when you started it? Thank you!

Hi!! Just for openers, sorry I didn’t reply to this yesterday, my mom’s basement flooded and took with it all my writing time, sigh. ANYWAY. On to the topic at hand. How to make a “faves survey” for another fandom, and have it resemble what I’ve made for Destiel? Well, here’s what I’ve done, hopefully some of it will be applicable to you...

1. This is the most important part: Do NOT let it become or be perceived as a popularity contest. Never release the raw stats (except perhaps to a small number of people who you trust to help you). Never announce a “winner.” Never share a ranked list. Never act as if more votes equals better. Never ever suggest in anyway that your purpose to find “the best.” Treat people and fics who get one vote with just as much fanfare as people and fics who get 50 votes. I do release a “top 20″ list just because so many people asked, but even then, it’s in alphabetical order, and meant more as a snapshot. Encourage people to vote for their favorites that aren’t already in whatever collection you end up making, and encourage people to vote for things they don’t usually see on rec lists. Aim for an expansive range of types of fics being voted for, and make it clear - no ship shaming (or secondary ship shaming, if yours is ship-based like mine, rather than being general to a given fandom) or kink shaming. 

2. Keep the survey super simple. People don’t read complex instructions, and they’re not going to want to rank lists or anything like that. You can see the one I use here. Feel free to emulate it, copy it, modify it for your own purposes. I used to just do boxes but people would routinely put in way more than 5/10, and while I didn’t really mind the extras, it greatly increased the amount of work I had to do, and since the survey routinely gets a couple hundred replies that I go through, I decided to make it a little harder for people to go over the limits. Don’t bother asking for people’s names or trying to validate the results. I’ve tried. People don’t want to put their names, and validation encourages people not to submit...AND doesn’t prevent cheating...so is really pointless. Just keep it anonymous, after four rounds I can say...that works best.

3. And, speaking of people going over the limits, and cheating...people will cheat. No matter how clear you are that number of votes don’t matter, no matter how much you insist that whatever data you’re collecting will only be used in so-and-so a way...you will spot people “cheating,” for various definitions of the word cheating. People who vote for their own works. People will submit multiple surveys. People will “ballot box stuff” for their favorite(s). People will list more than the maximums you’ve asked them to. People will submit works from other ships, and - though it’s never happened to me - if you make it fandom-general I’ll lay heavy odds at least one dumbass will submit for some other fandom entirely. It happens in different permutations every time, some more obvious than others, but it happens. And the conclusion I reached is...so fucking what? In the end, since the idea is to highlight as many different great works as possible...screw it. Let people vote for themselves. Let people ballot box stuff. Let people submit multiple surveys, or list more than whatever maximums you’ve set. In the end, since every work is treated as equal and one vote is worth as much as a hundred...if they’re cheating to up the vote count, it’s irrelevant, and if they’re cheating to vote for more works, then yay! more works to include! and basically the only thing I’ve found that reduces cheating is to make it absolutely clear to people that I’d really rather they not but ultimately I can’t stop them, so do their thing I guess? And it does help. I got less cheating each time I do it, or at least less that I’m able to catch lol. (as a side note - the one exceptions is the “works for others ships.” Those you can see listed on the “INELIGIBLE” sheet of the spreadsheet I link below, but I don’t add them to the AO3 collection.)

4. Spreadsheets are your best friend. You’re going to want some way to organize the data you’re collecting. I’ve got a public version of the sheet I use that you can see here. It’s pretty similar to my “private” version, except the private version includes actual vote counts, separated by which time(s) I did the survey that the work in question got votes. I mostly use that data so I can do comparisons over the years (“this year X works were added to the collection that were never in it before!”) and because I like numbers. However, depending on how exactly you plan to use the data, you may not even need to tally vote counts, and you could do one that’s more similar to my public version. Also, if you make an AO3 collection, you’re going to want some way to track which works you’ve invited, which have been added, etc., cause otherwise it’s just a nightmare to keep track of. (a little more on this later).

5. Decide how and where you’re going to share your data - as an AO3 collection? As a public spreadsheet? On social media? Maybe you want to make a side Tumblr just for it? Or a Discord server? etc. etc. Like, I’ve got a pillowfort group (though I hardly use it) and a channel in a Discord server (thanks again to the PB folks for making space for me!) with the AO3 collection being the main portal. You want to make sure that it’s advertised enough that people know it exists, and also be prepared that short term you’ll hear basically no feedback on whether people use it, and even long term it’ll be once in a blue moon and suddenly eight people will be like WAIT YOU’RE THE PERSON BEHIND THAT THING I LOVE THAT THING. In that respect it can feel a little thankless but I’ve definitely found that people do use it, it’s just that there’s no real way for people to let YOU know they’re using it (and, honestly...good? This isn’t really about us, after all, it’s about all these fic writers, the goal is to bring attention to them, not ourselves, we’re just a go-between for the writers and the readers.)

6. For making an AO3 collection, you’ll have to invite every single work individually. Some people have their accounts set to auto-accept invites, but otherwise whether the work actually gets added will depend on the authors. Some people will never accept the invite. Some people won’t know how to accept the invite. Some people will accept the invite and then subsequently remove their work. Some people have left these parts completely and will never even see the invite. That’s why it’s important to track who has added and who hasn’t, and periodically double check it (I double check every six months or so). For the people who don’t accept the invites for whatever reason, you can bookmark the item to the collection. HOWEVER, if you do this with your personal account, every single one of those bookmarks will be listed under your personal AO3, which is why I ultimately made the Faves survey its own account - it’s entirely to facilitate bookmarking. You can also use the “Bookmark External Work” feature to link to works that aren’t on AO3, and to tag them to whatever extent you want to. Here’s some examples of how I chose to bookmark external works.

7. Things will inevitably get complicated. Authors will change their names. People who do the survey will use shorthand you’ve never heard of for some fic you don’t know. People will misspell things and you’ll either recognize it even with the typo...or you won’t. People will vote for things that list eight different ships and you’ll have no idea which one is endgame. People will vote for things that have been deleted, or they’ll tell you it’s definitely on AO3 when it’s not, it’s on some other platform. The list of random things I’ve had to deal with is stupidly long and I’ve probably forgotten even more. Just...roll with it. Do your best. Ask for help (“Someone nominated a fic abbreviated as ABC to the collection and didn’t give the author and I have no idea what it is, help me Tumblr!”). And in the end, if you’ve done everything you can think of and you still don’t know...let it go. It’s just not that worth worrying about. And sometimes if you step away and look again in a few days you’ll figure out another way to search and it’ll pop up. But honestly I’ve got a handful of works I still haven’t been able to track down, and that one work that someone submitted that’s only available in Finnish and is explicit and behind a log-in wall on a small independent Finnish-only fic archive...well, I spoke to the author and confirmed the work exists, but otherwise...whelp, it’s not linked, and I did my best. That’s all you can do.

8. No matter what you do, someone somewhere will probably get upset about it. The first time I did the survey, when it got the most traction, I actually got a little hate, and I got some anons who were like “oooooo did you know that ~x~ is cheating” and I had a little “HOW DARE YOU NOT PLAY FAVORITES WHAT ABOUT MY PERSONAL FAVE?” and just...decide how you’re approaching the survey, and stick to your guns, and if anyone is a douche, hit the block button. And, related...

9. Transparency is most important imo. Not transparency for vote counts obviously, but transparency for what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, and what you hope to accomplish. Make sure your goals are clear from the start (mine weren’t that first time, hence some of the problems I encountered) - if it’s to highlight as wide a range of works as possible, say that. If it IS to pick a favorite, say that too. Just be clear, and honest, and above board, and it should work out okay.

10. Side note...one of the saddest things about all this is that if you do it over an extended period you’ll see authors deleting their works. As such, I personally chose to download every work that gets a vote, that way it’s at least preserved. I then expanded that into a much larger archive that I’m still adding to all the time, trying to save as much Destiel as possible. But then, I’m an archivist at heart, whether you want to branch out in that kind of direction is up to you.

...okay, that’s everything I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t scare you too bad. I don’t know what fandom/ship you’re looking at but for perspective...first time I did the survey I got about 400 replies, and then the next two times it got about 200, and this most recent time it got about 300. I chose to do mine annually, on the assumption that gives some time for people to come and go for fandom and a lot of new works to get created, and I deliberately timed it for about a month after the biggest fandom event (the DCBB) that generates fics, to give people time to read those fics and consider them in their voting. For me, that means I happen to run the survey starting on January 1st, and I keep it limited to 15 days, since usually it tapers off anyway. But you could try experimenting with different schedules, or leaving it open all the time, etc., it just depends how much time you want to devote to monitoring and updating it. For me, I mostly want to do a big burst of work and then not have to think about it most of the rest of the time, lol.

So...questions? comments? thoughts? wanna tell me I’m dead wrong? I’m all ears, lemme know how I can help!

[brainsdivided]

Uncommon Questions for OC’s and Their Creators (1/2)

(Art by Yesjejunus!)

I saw @bloody-fists-beating-hearts and @socksual-innuendos​ doing it so I’m answering all of them cause I can and I love my boys. Original by @cassandrapentayaaaaas​

So I don’t take up someone’s entire dash, peep under cut for it :) 

ps. some warning: read tags for any mentions of triggers or things you find uncomfortable, Isaac and Ezekiel have had tough lives and since a lot of that occurs during childhood it may cause some distress for readers.

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs:

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Ezekiel? Never. If it looks like he’s doing nothing, he’s actually daydreaming or bouncing his leg or fiddling with pieces of his clothes. Isaac also cannot sit still. This starts to change as he gets older, but when he moves to Zion he needs to be keeping his mind active on a physical thing, like studying.How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Ezekiel will laugh at just about anything. He’s a child at heart and will crack a giggle and the smallest of things. Even when he’s in combat, you might hear a devilish chuckle. Isaac is different, because of his teenage years, he doesn’t feel as much happiness as he once did. Genuine laughs are rare and at most, he’ll give a weak light-hearted laugh, especially when recalling a good story. For kids, he’ll feign a belly laugh.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Ezekiel never puts himself to bed. It will always be Joshua or Isaac that reads or talks him to sleep just as Courier Six once did. If Ezekiel is alone, he will think himself to sleep. If Joshua is available and not willing to put Ezekiel to bed and depriving him of comfort items, he will scream and cry himself to exhaustion.  Isaac has cried and screamed himself to exhaustion on more than one occasion but will never admit it. he does his best to fall asleep to music on the radio or on a holotape.

How easy is it to earn their trust?

It’s not very easy to gain either brothers’ trust. Ezekiel follows the ‘If you’re a friend of theirs, you’re a friend of mine’ phrase. Isaac doesn’t trust anyone completely until he spends enough time around them. He believes everyone has good in them and will give them the benefit of the doubt, BUT he won’t be caught off guard if someone happens to turn on him. 

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

For either brother, the second you turn on one of them or their family and friends, it’s game over. Ezekiel won’t take verbal or physical acts lightly, but if it’s verbal, Isaac will offer a second chance. He won’t give out a third.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Ezekiel will follow laws that he feels he doesn’t need to break at the time. If he can justify it, including ‘Cause I can, there’s no one to stop me’ he will break it. Isaac follows all laws, even the ones he doesn’t want to. For the ones he doesn’t want to, he’ll find ways to bend them, especially if they’re immoral/unreasonable in his eyes. Best example I can give is in the Legion, not sure if it’s actually a law, but, women are treated as breeding stock and that’s it. Isaac had slaves but would only treat them as such around the other legionaries. Behind closed doors, he cooks for them and looks after them personally. Never once did he use them as breeding stock.  

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Ezekiel is in almost a complete state of nostalgia constantly as he unconsciously tries to live his old life in Goodsprings in Zion. Good food, sleeping in a quiet camp, hunting, learning from Joshua/father-figure, etc. helps keep him grounded in his world. Isaac often receives nostalgia from intrusive memories, but as a physical thing, probably his appearance. In a fit of fear and rage, he destroyed his mirror and where the river runs next to his home he added extra rocks to help disfigure his reflection when he’s near the water. It brings him great pain to see his own face and body due to the scars he received from the Legion. 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Pre-story... Ezekiel was probably told to stop beating up kids for minor offenses and Isaac was probably told to not worry so much about Ezekiel doing dangerous things.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Both swear and neither remember when they first did.

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

Isaac’s most common lie is the typical “I’m fine.” a lie that isn’t spoken about except when before the story takes place, is that the Courier was very sick, but Isaac, Courier, and Cass made Ezekiel believe otherwise so that Ezekiel could continue to dream of the amazing man his dad once was. Which that in itself would be haunting, because he’s holding up a dam of terrible things. While Ezekiel would constantly say “No.” to the question, “Did you eat anything you weren’t supposed to?” 9/10, he ate something he wasn’t supposed to. That doesn’t haunt him, but he’ll regret lying when he ends up with intestinal obstruction or food poisoning. 

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

As soon as the confusion hits, depending on the scenario and how he’s feeling he might interrupt the conversation to ask for clarification or he’ll tune out what’s being said so that he can think on his thoughts. Isaac will pretend he understands if the conversation isn’t relating to something dire. 

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Isaac will ask his brother or a friend for help but if he’s alone, he’ll use a stick or his wall. Ezekiel will go up to anyone and ask, but if not, he’ll turn into a yao gui and rub his back on anything. GOTTA GET THAT ITCH.

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Ezekiel likes orange and Isaac likes white. I think they could both pull off black. Anyone can, black is a flattering color but who would want to wear that in the desert sun?

What animal do they fear most?

Ezekiel doesn’t have a lot of fear towards any creature, but I’d say feral ghouls or Deathclaws and Isaac fears spore carriers.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Ezekiel will always say what comes to mind. Isaac will think before he speaks.

What makes their stomach turn?

I’ve got nothing for Ezekiel, but Isaac would barf if he smelled or saw a rotting corpse. 

Are they easily embarrassed?

Ezekiel is fine being quirky but there are some situations that makes him a radstag in flashlight. Isaac feels more shame than embarrassment. 

What embarrasses them?

Ezekiel has been known to wet the bed even into early adulthood. Also, while he is fine playing with kid-oriented items, depending on his current emotion and he’s made fun of, he’ll either respond with embarrassment or anger. Isaac gets second-hand embarrassment from Ezekiel’s behaviors sometimes. He once wet the bed and was caught by Daniel when doing laundry but it was agreed to never be brought up or mentioned again. He mostly feels embarrassment/shame when doing or caught using chems.

What is their favorite number?

Ezekiel’s is the number 6 because Courier Six was his dad. Isaac does not have a favorite number.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Oh boy. Ezekiel might not be able to tell the difference. He might just say that romantic love makes ‘funny things happen’ so to speak even as an adult. All three might overlap for him. Though I guess it would depend on the person reading since my RP partner did not like when I had Ezekiel be affectionate towards Joshua (Hugging and asking to share a bed) as ‘boys don’t always ask their dads for hugs or to sleep with them, it’s inappropriate’ but if daughters can do that with their mothers, who cares? 

Isaac would go on a long shpeel about the psychology of romantic, platonic, and familial love, I’m too tired to write how he’d explain it.

Why do they get up in the morning?

Ezekiel gets up because it’s a new day and the second he opens his eyes, he’s a ball of energy! Breakfast. Also breakfast. Isaac gets up for the people he loves and for the people who need him.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Ezekiel gets vocal. He’ll make sure you know that you’re spending too much of his time around his brother or Joshua. Isaac will get quiet. 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Ezekiel will take what he wants/intervene. Isaac might get bitter about it, but he’ll remind himself that there are others that are more important or who need it more.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Their thoughts on this is pretty similar regardless of age, but speaking from age ranges 18-23, Ezekiel doesn’t really understand it, so he’ll talk to anyone about it. When he does, he’s blunt about it, too which makes for some comedic relief when Joshua is involved in the conversation. Isaac won’t really talk about it if he’s involved. If he does, it’s with Daniel or with whoever he ends up sleeping with. If it’s in a medical context, it doesn’t matter the person. 

What are their thoughts on marriage?

Ezekiel doesn’t have an opinion on marriage, but his brother and godfather would feel as though he isn’t ready for a relationship, yet. Isaac likes when others get married, but he himself does not feel worthy of a steady relationship.

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Walking.

What causes them to feel dread?

When Ezekiel gets caught doing something he shouldn’t by Joshua. Isaac - when it’s night, his generator dies, and when his radio stops working simultaneously or when Daniel forbade him that one time from studying and working because he nearly worked himself to death.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

Both would want the truth, but Ezekiel believes in a lie that his brother and mother once told.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Ezekiel believes he’s the best at almost everything and Isaac knows he could do better, but it’s too late.

Who do they most regret meeting?

N/A

Who are they the most glad to have met?

locating Joshua was Ezekiel’s primary goal when running from Goodsprings so I’d imagine that he’d be glad to have found him. Isaac’s could be either Daniel or an unnamed Legion girl.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Ezekiel would try to talk casually about his parents’ death and of the crimes he’s committed. Isaac doesn’t have a go-to.

Could they be considered lazy?

Yes and no. To others, they’d be lazy, but Isaac has depression and insomnia, and Ezekiel’s behavior is similar to a child so he may just be stubborn.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

If the guilt was brought on by Joshua, Ezekiel would need some reassurance directly from him to fix it. Isaac is constantly ridden with guilt.

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Both are supportive!

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

Neither seeks romance. Isaac might look for partners for one night stands, but that’s it.

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Both are very good at matching names to faces, but Ezekiel uses his fingers to count and sometimes uses melodies. Isaac likes to file things.

What memory do they revisit the most often?

So far that’s been thought of, Ezekiel revisits the death of his parents most often and Isaac revisits the possible events that led up to him becoming a decanus. 

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Ezekiel is willing to forget them if they didn’t directly wrong him. Isaac never forgets, he just chooses to overlook them but still keeping them in mind.

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Ezekiel never really recognizes his flaws until they’re pointed out. As he gets older though he does start to acknowledge them more. A scene I’ve thought of is when he’s 22 and still playing with children’s toy soldiers. He plays with them with little enthusiasm, abandoning his amusements not by choice. Isaac is aware of his flaws but doesn’t try to better them, but instead tries to better others. 

How do they feel about children?

Ezekiel at times believes he is a child, and will try to engage with other children. Some find it creepy but those that know him are fine with it because they know he has good intentions. Isaac is passionate about children and will protect them with his life. While escaping the legion, he had recruits younger than him that he helped escape, some ending up being adopted out to Dead Horse, Sorrows, and New Canaanite families. Even in the Legion, Isaac showed all children he came across respect and kindness.

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

Neither truly has an end goal. Isaac wants to see the Legion end in a way where it’s people can recover as quickly as possible, so by working with the Followers of the Apocalypse, he can help out stragglers. Ezekiel just wants to become someone Joshua can be proud of. Be the son he never had and never expected to have.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Isaac would say that he used to be attracted to women, but because he spent so much time around women who loved and cherished him for his kindness, he’d find it wrong to date someone who only loved that he was kind to them. He still finds women attractive, just not enough to act on it. As for men, he could tell you who is handsome, but in a platonic way. 

Ezekiel couldn’t tell for the longest time what he was attracted to, but in an alternative story line, when he thought it was women, he ended up finding himself feeling more for a man.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, chapter 144

Chapter Summary - Tom is preparing for his stint on the Infinity War junket and wishes to ask Danielle a question, but soon forgets for more pleasurable pursuits.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine. All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Danielle watched as Tom planned his suits and outfits for the time away on the press junket and oversea premieres. Part of her wanted him to stay home, to not go, but it was his job, she had chosen to be with him and thus, knew what his life entailed. This would be one of the biggest junkets of his career, bigger than Ragnarok, it was highly unlikely such an event would ever be repeated. She only had to deal with him being gone for a short time. She could do that. She even had her own work to do, but that still did not mean she did not want it to be them, their dogs and their home in London, or Suffolk if they felt so inclined. After Infinity War, she hoped they could spend a few days in Suffolk. She needed the sea air again.

When she looked to Tom again, she realised that he had been talking to her. 'Elle, is everything ok?'

'Yeah, just thinking.'

'What about?'

'Just when this is over, how we should take a few days in Suffolk.'

'That sounds like heaven.' He confessed. He looked at her cautiously. 'Elle, I need to ask you something, I don't want an answer straight away, I want you to think about it.'

'Tom?'

He began to walk towards her, but after a moment, he stopped. He had been studying her features since the day they had first kissed and in that moment, he realised only for the first time that she had sporadic freckles on her nose and only on there. He smiled, living her unique little nuisances. 'God, you're beautiful.'

'Tom?'

He leant forward and kissed her, forgetting the question he had been so cautiously trying to ask. After she reciprocating, he became more passionate in his manner and before long, the pair were against the wall of the room, Tom holding her against said wall as he kissed her time and again. When he required pulling away from her to breathe, he could see her pupils were wide with arousal. Smirking slightly, he moved to kiss her again. 'My beautiful Elle.' he turned and carried her to the bed, placing her down on it, not caring about his neatly folded underwear and socks that were being tostled in their actions. Kissing her with more intensity, he grinned as he felt her thighs and calves clenched around him and her hips lifted slightly as she attempted to create friction. 'Patience, my Darling.'

'Tom.' She pleaded, yearning for more, feeling herself become more riled up.

'Finally.' Tom grinned. 'I have been waiting too long for a time that you were so incredibly wanton to do this.'

'If you dare start some "delayed gratification" bullshit I will end you.' she growled.

'Oh, this will be far worse.' He promised kissing her before tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth, knowing she would love it. He then began to kiss down her body removing her clothes as he did so, leaving her in just her bra as he made his way to her pants, nipping and kissing her hip bone as he did so. 'God, you are so fucking sexy.'

He toyed with her buttons and zip of her pants before urging her to raise her hips which she did with minor reluctance as she feared what he would do to her next, but her arousal caused her to become curious, knowing that no matter how cruel the teasing could be, she would, by the end of the act, be left satisfied, even if she wished he'd have been less torturous during it.

Tom could see the arousal dampening her underwear as he pulled down her pants. He could tell that she was already wanting his attentions. Chuckling to himself, he gently pressed his lips to her thigh, just outside of her underwear line, loving that it was the delicious dark set he had insisted more than once that she should wear continually. He watched as her arousal grew and as gasps of want filled the room as each press if his lips against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs caused her to become more and more in need of his touch. He spent minutes toying with the perimeter of her underwear before gently pressing his lipd to where he knew her now attention seeking clit would be and was met with a moan. 'So beautiful." He commented as he continued his actions.

Danielle swore several times as he gently nipped and kissed through her underwear. 'Please.' Her hand went to his hair, trying to press down slightly only for Tom to lean up and look her straight in the eye.

'No. No hands.' He smirked, knowing it would cause her to become more frustrated. 'And if you try to move them, I will stop.'

'You cruel bastard.'

'I am merely returning the favour, you've done this more than once.'

'I never stopped, I just pinned you down.' She reminded him, gasping as he gently pursued his lips against her. 'Tom...'

'I love when you say my name like that.' He crawled over her before stopping again by her breasts, gently pulling down one cup of material to find a pert nipple, grinning he licked and pursed his lips around it before glancing to her face, noting the pained expression on her face as she attempted to behave and not just grab some part of him in sexual frustration, but she managed, if only barely.

With some slight hand movements as gesture to do so, he had her lift her hips so he could remove her underwear. 'You're still dressed.'

'I am.'

'Not fair.'

'Darling, I could be clothed or stark naked and you won't be able to notice in a moment.'

'A brave assumption.'

Tom grinned as he brought her hands together and pinned them above his head with one of his before having the other hand open his pants and moaned slightly as he pulled down his pants and boxers, his hand glancing over his straining length for a moment, reminding him of how much he wanted this too. He bit back a moan before stroking himself a few times not that it was required, but enjoying how his reluctance to speed up was irking Danielle, before allowing his body rub against hers in a manner that allowed him to use it to gently rub close to her entrance and over the sensitive bundle of nerves next to it, causing more moans of wanton pleas.

It took a considerable amount of restraint on his own behalf for Tom not to simply enter her and immediately chase pleasure, instead, he did so slowly, allowing her to become used to the intruding size as he did and living the sound of her pleasure at finally having him move things along. When he was fully inside her, be paused for a moment, partly to allow her to adjust and partly to tease her further.

Danielle, frustrated by his actions, or lack thereof, lightly clenched her muscles around him, causing Tom to hiss in pleasure before slowly beginning to move.

Their actions were slow and languid, Tom ensuring that he touched every part of her body that he knew that she liked internally as well as moving his pelvis to rub against hers to include her clit. He looked at her for the entirety of the time, his eyes portraying how much he adored her as he did. For her part, Danielle whined in frustration and pleasure as she attempted to maintain said eye contact, biting her lips together, her teeth dragging over her lower lip as she stifled yet another moan.

When it looked as though she was not going to be able to uphold his command to keep her hands as they were, he learnt on his left elbow as his right hand snaked up to keep them pinned above her head as he kissed her passionately. 'Don't.' he warned.

'Tom.'

Tom didn't need her warning, he could feel Danielle's body tightening slightly around his own, telling him of how much she adored his actions. Instead of wasting energy speaking back to her, he kissed her again and refocused his attentions on the pleasure he was making her feel, ensuring that he rubbed his pelvis against hers as much as was possible, knowing how greatly she adored that.

Though he planned on lasting longer, seeing how Danielle was reacting to him and the feel of her body around his made everything far more intense than Tom could have expected. Adding that to the adoring and loving look in her eyes, he knew he could not stve off his orgasm too much longer. So, focusing his efforts, he continued to look Danielle in the eye as he aimed himself to give her maximum pleasure as quickly as possible, watching her squirm as they did so, her gasps becoming more frequent and intense before finally, his name graced her lips once more and her body gripped his and she fell over the edge and her orgasm took her. The intensity of her pleasure added to his own as mere moments later, Tom too felt his body reach the precipice, forcing himself to look at her as the pinnacle of pleasure took him.

With a chorus of moans and gasps, they ceased to move and tried to catch their breath once more, looking at one another as they did so, a loving smile shared between them.

'I'm going to miss you.' Danielle confessed, toying with his hair.

'You will be too busy.'

'If you honestly think some meetings and wires and holes in the ground will matter more to me than thinking about you, then I fear I have some terrible news for you, Tom Hiddleston.'

'I wish you could come with me.'

'Perhaps in the future. I'll do a lovely meal for your night back on the London stint.'

'Elle?'

'Is this the question from earlier?' she smiled knowingly.

'Could you consider coming to the London premiere with me?' Danielle frowned. 'As my partner.'

'You mean on the carpet?'

'Yes.' She could see the pleading in his features.

She looked at him with uncertainty. 'I will consider it.' His brow furrowed. 'I was terrified at Early Man and that was a relaxed affair, this is Infinity War, everything is so much more intense. I.....I don't want to say anything right now because I am in no fit state to think it through fully and give a competent answer.'

'I understand.' He smiled. 'Elle?' She focused on his eyes again. 'I love you.'

'What a coincidence, because I happen to love you too.' She leant up and kissed him again, cupping his face with her now freed hands.

[samirant]

So this is where The Good Place finally led me: in my car on my lunch break, sobbing as I listened to Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know and missing my dad like crazy.

It’s been nine hours since I saw the episode and I’ve encouraged everyone I come across to pick up the damn show already, because it is incredible.

I’ll piece my brain together and say what’s sticking with me the most, under the cut.

Jason is the first to go and, from the beginning it is so clear that he has grown an exorbitant amount. He’s sturdier, calmer, more thoughtful, even if he’s still the ninny we know and love. Manny Jacinto shines in all the subtleties of it. The least complicated of them all, Jason’s the most reasonable one to reach that moment of complete peace and I love him all the more for it. And then he waited the equivalent of a thousand years to give Janet her necklace? Good god. My heart burst for him, I felt as if I could have vomited butterflies. 

Someone pointed out the tragedy of Janet watching everyone she loves, leave and not being able to follow. I’m thankful they gave her that moment to say that she’s experiencing them at all times, whether they are currently with her or not. Even better, that when she saw Jason again, that she didn’t burst into tears or beg him to stay after all - it was simply a welcome addition to all the moments she continues to share with him.

Tahani and her stamp of approval from the great Nick Offerman? I am so, so glad they didn’t forget that she wanted to truly grow and learn new things and she learned ALL THE THINGS. The woman repaved her driveway and was so blase about it! I feel she earned Michael’s peacock bow tie a thousandfold and she looked amazing in it. John’s quick pop in was also perfect; I’m glad he was there, too. I always thought Eleanor would become an architect, but it’s so much better that it is Tahani in the end, truly giving all of herself for the betterment of others.

Decisive Chidi and his acceptance of the end - man, his love for Eleanor would have been enough to make him stay but it was so right for her to realize she had to let him go. That being said, the calendar had me laughing even through my tears and that last time on the couch together. God. Just. Fuck. I can hardly think of a more perfect pair, two people who love deeply and are still willing to let go because they know there is something greater than themselves, even if they can’t define what that is.

Chidi’s reflection of water and the waves brought to mind The Tides by slipsthrufingers. I can’t tag her for fear of spoilers but damn it if my mind didn’t remember Selwyn in those moments, and Brienne with her dad, and then my father and fuck, I’m so close to crying again.

The Doorman! Yes, even the Doorman. I was disappointed at first that he got bored of his frogs but then it made such complete sense, because it was just like the problem of the original Good Place, where an infinite amount of a perfect thing can make the luster fade all the more quickly. He needed a change just as much as anyone else after countless Bearimys full of frog gifts; Michael was able to give him that change just as he did everyone else. Fucking awesome.

MARY FUCKING STEENBURGEN.

Shawn! And Glenn! Can Glenn become a human too? I think he’d be a perfect disaster of a man. Speaking of, at least Brent is still running through the simulation. You can do it, buddy, though it may take a million more Bearimys.

I thought Michael finally having the human experience... I just. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. And may I repeat: Mary Fucking Steenburgen. Best goddamn cameo of the entire series. And then they told us he went to Arizona with his dry heat comment, left that there for us to just know without being explicit about it. You just gotta know that he had his good friend Eleanor on his mind everyday

Maximum Derek. 🤩

And Eleanor. Eleanor presented by Kristen Bell’s perfectly wrought devastation that Chidi was ready to go and knowing she couldn’t follow, not yet. I wept. WEPT. Their last night together and her request of him? Broke my heart. I’m still... fuck. I won’t be able to think of that for a long time, if ever, without feeling an echoing yearning for those two to remain together, even if the decision to walk through the final door comes for everyone if they’ve lived their afterlife to its absolute pinnacle.

Then it’s Mindy and Michael, two people separately representative of the worst Eleanor could be and the path she chose to pursue instead - that’s amazing.

Then. THEN.

Her golden essence (SO BEAUTIFUL) disperses out into the world, becoming one with the universe. And, infinitely better, Eleanor becomes the little voice in the back of someone’s head. She is the little voice telling you that you can do better because she already walked that path and completed it.

Let me repeat: ELEANOR BECAME A LITTLE VOICE.

Perfect. It was goddamn perfect.

[drrrsecretsanta2019]

Holiday Kiss, my secret santa gift for Bree

Tucked away in a dark spot between two kiosks, Shizuo checks the notes and coins in his hand trying to figure out how many rides they can get him into. He’s left most of the money his mother gave him earlier this afternoon with his little brother; it seemed only fair given that he had gone to the fair with the intention of abandoning him. Kasuka will be fine, he knows, and that reassuring thought keeps him from feeling too guilty about intentionally lagging behind until the rest of the company, composed of his little brother and their cousins, had lost him completely. The chances are they will only look for him when their time of departure approaches. Kasuka is bright enough to guess that his older brother has disappeared on purpose and their cousins are unlikely to lament the loss of his company, except perhaps when an opportunity to mock him comes up and he’s nowhere to be seen, depriving them of the vicious pleasure of watching him seethe, unable to do anything to vent his frustration. Despite him thinking that he is entirely incapable of self-control, Shizuo has proven to his mother on countless occasions that he can restrain himself in order to not embarrass her or hurt her feelings. She has never told her son, but she often wishes the world was more understanding, less cruel towards her sweet older boy who can be the most loving young man if given the opportunity but can just as easily explode in rage if faced with injustice. What she has told him is that people are often cruel by defense, to hide their insecurities, and that deep down everyone is flawed and scared, and he tries his best to always remember it.

He’s still struggling with the simple maths of how many rides the amount in his possession translates into when he catches a voice that has adrenaline coursing through his veins and drowning away any hints of coherency. He snaps his head to the direction of said voice, already seeing red, but stumbles upon confusion as he’s faced with a rather unexpected image and it’s only then that he registers the words he’s hearing.

“Now, you will both stay close – no running away on a whim, Mairu! If you’re not holding my hand, I want you to be maximum two steps ahead of me.”

“Izaya-kun?”

This is perhaps the calmest he has ever sounded with that name on his tongue. Izaya must recognize his voice just as easily, because he freezes immediately, going completely still for a moment as he’s hunched over. Then he whips around to face Shizuo while simultaneously stretching his hands out a bit on his sides, as if to protect the small figures behind him from the beast before them.

“Sh-shizu-chan?” he stutters, his face a pale white devoid of any emotion other than apprehension. “I am here with my sisters” he adds quickly, clearly in an attempt to deter Shizuo from causing a scene and oblivious to the fact that Shizuo himself has no such intention.

“I can see that”, he says instead, a bright smile on his face as he sends a friendly nod to the two faces obscured be Izaya’s outstretched arms. “Hello” he adds as he ducks to get a better look. The girls peer at the stranger behind the barrier of their brother, gazes inquisitive and perceptive, one closed-off and the other mischievous. It’s the mischievous one who steps forward first, ignoring her brother’s attempt to keep her hidden by shifting his weight.

“Are you friends with Iza-nii?”

There’s a short pause, during which the other girl also steps forward, with a look on her face that reminds Shizuo a little of his brother, until he finally shrugs and replies lightly “we have some common friends”. It’s not a lie, but it’s not exactly the answer to the question posed either. But the girls seem content anyway, the one with mischief clear in her eyes nodding enthusiastically and greeting him with a joyful hi as the other one simply blinks.

“We’re here to kill a couple of hours. The fair is big enough to fit us both, so let’s just steer clear of each other and call it a ceasefire for New Year’s Eve.”

Izaya sounds composed, but the look on his face is too rigid to be anything but anxious. The similarity between the three siblings is uncanny. Shizuo knows from Shinra that Izaya’s sisters are identical twins, but he didn’t expect them to also look so much like their brother. Especially the one with braided long hair could be a spitting image of him when he was her age.

“That’s fine” he says, his eyes still on the tiny girls gazing up at him. “I’m also just killing some time.”

“On your own? Can’t you find even a single person to put up with you during the holidays?” Izaya scoffs, some of the customary hostility they share having returned to his posture. Shizuo chooses to ignore it and explains calmly that he’s lost his company and before he’s finished speaking he has two Orihara girls clinging to his legs.

“You can come with us!” the talkative one exclaims as her sister joins her in a chorus for the last two words.

“I’m sure he has better things to do”, Izaya provides, arms crossed in front of his chest, but Shizuo is fast to disprove him.

“I don’t, actually.” He watches Izaya’s eyes widen comically before turning to the little girls still clinging onto him. “I’d love to tag along, if your brother’s ok with that.” It’s cheap of him, he knows. Izaya would probably agree to jumping off the roof to save himself from his sisters’ wailing. But he’ll take what he can.

Unsurprisingly, Izaya is broody for the first several minutes of their joint wandering. The girls are overexcited with the unexpected addition of a new member to their company and with the variety of options around them, bouncing eagerly from one side to the other, arguing between themselves about which rides they should go to and what sweets they should buy from the kiosks, while Izaya follows them closely, sulking in a very uncharacteristic manner. Shizuo manages to extract the names of the girls from him – Mairu, the one with the braid, and Kururi, the quiet one – and their age – 6. Shizuo watches him from the corner of his eye, walking beside him with his shoulders tense and his jaw set, as if ready for a fight. He’s never been blind to Izaya’s good looks, but it’s always been easy to look past them and focus on his annoying antics instead. But out here, in the middle of a crowded fair, with Christmas lights casting golden and crimson hues along Izaya’s pale face, it’s hard to think of anything else. With Izaya on the defensive there are no biting comments, no sarcastic smirks, only a handsome boy walking next to him, quietly watching his sisters ahead of him. It’s endearing really.

“Your sisters are fun.” Izaya tenses next to him, but keeps quiet. “I have never seen you with them before.”

“Do you spend your free time stalking me, Shizu-chan?”

Deep down everyone is flawed and scared, he repeats his mother’s words to himself and chuckles. “I just mean that I could never picture you this way. I have a little brother myself-”

“I know”, Izaya cuts him off with cold indifference, as if this brief exchange has managed to bore him already. “How come he’s not tailing you? Does your mother not force you to take him along with you everywhere?”

It sounds like a typical, if somewhat petty, older brother complaint and Shizuo finds himself feeling amused. “He’s somewhere around here with our cousins.”

When Izaya turns to look straight at him, Shizuo feels as if the world has momentarily stopped turning. His eyes look unnaturally bright as they reflect the neon signs around them and the way he stares openly at Shizuo’s face, it’s as if he’s reaching into his mind and caressing every thought of his. “Not a very good company, I guess?” He’s shrugging before Shizuo has had the chance to offer a reply, turning away to follow his sisters to one of the kiosks selling soft ice, scoffing family is overrated over his shoulder and the moment Shizuo thinks they shared is gone just like that.

Between arguing about which rides are best suited for the twins’ age and munching on jelly beans and soft ice and chocolate bars and pretty much anything sugar-loaded available, they end up not going to that many rides after all. They agree on the least exciting-looking roller coaster, one that is clearly destined for the younger ages, and Mairu is practically furious about said choice, as if this specific roller coaster constitutes a personal insult for her. But it’s the only one her brother will allow her on and she’s been bugging them about getting on a roller coaster since the moment they arrived, so she gives in eventually. Shizuo sits with Kururi behind Izaya who is vainly trying to restrain Mairu next to him. It’s not that bad, after all. Kururi has a wide grin on her face throughout the ride while Mairu squeals incessantly, throwing her arms in the air and howling like a wolf, but it’s Izaya’s crystalline laughter that echoes in Shizuo’s ears even after they’ve climbed out of their seats and moved on to buy tickets to the Ferris wheel. Mairu climbs in with Shizuo this time and gives him multiple heart attacks by swinging her legs non-stop, making their car rock precariously from side to side. They get the girls on the carousel afterwards, standing by next to each other and watching them ride on their fake horses with huge grins on their faces.

“You could have gotten on the more exciting rides on your own” Izaya says at some point, but there’s no mocking lilt in his voice, no malice, just a matter-of-fact statement. “You would have probably had more fun.”

“Nah. I’m having a good time as it is.”

The girls come running shortly after and they’re off to find the next ride to spend their money on, but Izaya’s gaze lingers on Shizuo as they move on.

As they’re passing by the shooting games, Mairu suddenly starts jumping up and down, her little arm extended in the air and pointing at something. “Iza-nii, I want THAT!” she’s shrieking within seconds, grabbing her brother’s pants and pulling him towards one of the games. There’s a metallic headband with deer ears and antlers hanging along with an assortment of plushies and hats at the back, which serve as prizes for those who manage to shoot down a number of targets. “They’re so beautiful!” she croons and Shizuo can see why. The antlers are long and thin, painted rose gold. The ears are fluffy, made of a combination of felt and faux fur, and sprinkled with stardust. The top of the headband is decorated with small silk flowers, of different sizes and colors. It’s certainly cheap and flimsy, as all carnival prizes tend to be, but it still looks like someone put great care into making it.

“Elf” Kururi mutters, joining her sister in front of the kiosk and pointing at an elf hat, complete with pointy ears, just a bit to the right of the deer headband.

Izaya sighs, exasperated with his sisters’ antics, but asks how much it costs to try his luck anyway. When the clearly bored employee hands him a shotgun, Izaya turns to extend it to Shizuo. “Come on, Shizu-chan, show us what you’ve got.”

Needless to say, Shizuo fails miserably. He manages to shoot down one target and is a second away from splitting the toy gun in half by the time he runs out of bullets. The twins are close to tears from disappointment, but Izaya looks sorely amused. He pays for another round, places the gun against his shoulder, takes aim and keeps entirely still for a second, before pulling the trigger and missing the first target by a hair. He remains calm and still despite the disappointed sounds his sisters make. He adjusts his position quietly, not losing his concentration, takes a deep breath and holds it before pulling the trigger and shooting down the first target. The twins scream with excitement and start jumping up and down excitedly, while Shizuo whistles his approval. Izaya ignores their reactions completely and continues in the same pace until he’s shot down all targets and won the headband for Mairu and then reluctantly pays for another round to win Kururi’s elf hat as well.

“You’re really good!” Shizuo exclaims when Izaya turns around to join them, handing over Kururi’s prize.

“And you’re predictably terrible” is what Izaya offers in reply, but his mood is clearly lighter than before as he basks in the awe-stricken stares of the crowd that has gathered to watch him shoot one target after the other.

“Where did you learn to shoot like that?”

“Didn’t you know? When I’m not wrecking Raijin with you, I’m a hitman for the yakuza.”

Despite his tone dripping with sarcasm, Shizuo has the sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be too farfetched for Izaya. It must show on his face because Izaya laughs at him like a madman.

Half an hour later, they’re sitting at a picnic bench facing each other, watching the girls run around with other kids not far from them. A comfortable silence has descended between them and Shizuo thinks to himself that Izaya is almost nice to be around when he’s not actively trying to piss him off. He lets his gaze wander to the boy sitting opposite him, studying his profile as the other is busy watching his sisters with a look that resembles affection too closely to look anything but foreign on him.

“This was nice.”

Izaya doesn’t refute this, but he keeps silent long enough to get Shizuo worried. His gaze is still following his sisters although his attention has clearly shifted. He drums his fingers on the table between them and hums skepticism in the back of his throat. “And it’s back to normal after the holidays, right?” He only cuts his gaze to Shizuo when his question goes unanswered and coming face to face with confusion he continues “Me pissing you off, you trying to kill me. Life at Raijin as we know it.”

Izaya’s features are set in hard resolve and his expression feels out of place in their current setting. He looks almost upset and Shizuo is shaking his head rendered weak with uncertainty. “It doesn’t have to be.”

Izaya’s jaw tenses, he averts his gaze to stare at the surface of the table instead, pressing his lips tight together as if to keep himself from saying something he’ll regret. Shizuo thinks he should say something, but as he opens his mouth, still uncertain of what’s going to come out of it, Izaya’s cell phone starts ringing and the moment is gone. As Izaya checks the screen for the caller’s identity and grimaces irritation, the twins arrive running at the table chanting a chorus of mom.

“Hello? Yes, hi mother” Izaya speaks into the receiver rolling his eyes and swatting his sisters’ hands away from him and the device. “Have you just landed? Alright, we’ll see you at home then.” The girls have fisted their little hands in his coat and are trying to pull him away from the table even before he’s hung up, Kururi murmuring late while Mairu alternates between shrieking with joy and berating her brother for not taking them home earlier. “They have just landed at the airport. They are still waiting for their luggage and they need at least an hour to get home from there, so stop dragging me!” They let go of him eventually, but they stay hovering by the table, eager to leave asap, so Izaya stands begrudgingly. “I guess it’s time we left, Shizu-chan.”

“It was nice meeting you, girls” Shizuo says as he gets up and then squats to be at the same level with the twins, trying his best to conceal his disappointment at having this evening cut short. He finds it easier than he originally thought as the twins throw themselves at him, hugging him tightly and wishing him a happy new year. Mairu goes on to heatedly explain that their parents are coming back for the New Year celebrations and they have to rush back home to welcome them and Shizuo can’t help but smile goofily at her excitement. Kururi just looks up at him and takes the hat off her head to place it on his. Present is all she says, but her eyes make it clear that she will not take no for an answer, so Shizuo thanks her and leaves the hat on. He hears Izaya chuckling above him, but Mairu is jumping on the table next thing he knows and when he looks up, Izaya has the deer antlers propped on his head, looking surprised and adorable. It’s Shizuo’s turn to chuckle, but as Izaya’s eyes narrow with irritation he states “you look cute” and watches color rise in the other’s face.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” Shizuo takes it for the empty threat it is and just smiles.

“Leave it on, it suits you” and he takes a step forward, effectively stepping into Izaya’s personal space, leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek. Izaya starts, shocked at the close proximity and clearly not knowing what to expect, and the kiss lands not exactly on his cheek, but at the corner of his lips, leaving the both of them embarrassed as the girls stare at them with matching devilish grins. “Happy New Year”, Shizuo blurts before turning to leave, to go find his brother and cousins so they can all leave together, the image of Izaya looking literally like a deer caught in the headlights imprinted on his memory.

DRRRSecretSanta2019: A lovely fic for @breedafool by Astroenergy! Thank you so much for participating!!

[elatedmarvel]

Exclusive: The Man Under the Mask

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: An special peak into the life of James Barnes now. 

Work Count: 1390

AN: Sorry I didn’t post this earlier this week, I’ve been trying to finish my med school apps and then I had two job interviews. This is sort of a companion piece to the Steve exclusive. This idea was already kinda of in the works when I posted that, and then @breatheeagainnn gave me the extra push to get this done. Hope you enjoy!  

Warnings: none, its a fluffy one ya’ll

It’s a cute and quiet coffee shop. Cozy enough to be quaint, but not too much to make it claustrophobic; easily missed in the hustle and bustle of New York City. When I enter, the barista is writing some homemade chai special on the board and guitar strums sound from the speakers. In the back corner booth, Sergeant James Barnes waits for me. 

As a reference, this journalist usually shows up 15 minutes early to any pre-agreed upon settings to scope out the place. Mr. Barnes already has coffee and pastries set up and ready for our interview. It turns out, it’s a habit he developed as a child and has been cemented. “My ma used to be early for everything too. We’d get a good lecture about the importance of punctuality if we were ever late. Guess it’s kinda stuck.”  

When first reaching out to Mr. Barnes, he graciously allowed me to interview him in person, contingent upon the fact that the meeting was not in his apartment. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but ya know, you can never be too careful” he teases. The real reason is more simple than that, the Barnes clan has recently moved to a roomier place and the home is a disaster zone. He chose the spot, and I showed up. If I had not been looking for him, it would be easy to miss him. Though the man is enormous, he blends in well. It would be hard to discern him for any other well built man. 

James Buchanan Barnes, more warmly referred to as Bucky, seems to be very acclimated to this century. On his left wrist lays a Stark watch, and an airpod case is set next to his Stark phone. He’s always been a bit of a technology nerd he reminisces. “I used to want to come home from the war and work at an auto shop until I could afford college. I always wanted to be an engineer or scientist. Obviously that didn’t pan out, but I’m taking classes at Columbia now.” Mr. Barnes was a straight A student in his grade school days, and once he was caught up in lingo and history, college has been a breeze for him. He says he owes all this to Tony Stark and Bruce Banner who had connections and allowed him to enroll in the prestigious school.

While James is working towards a degree, he’s still loyal to his job in the Avengers. He has taken up the position of coordinator for all east coast operations, and continues to fight alongside them. “But only in world-threatening situations” he adds, “I made a deal with my wife that if we had kids, I would take a step back.” Now his job includes recruiting and developing training programs, as well as mentoring the next wave of heros and heroines. “It’s the perfect job for me. I get to scope people out and see how they would be most useful to us, and get them ready for real combat. A lot of times, I’m giving people a second chance at life, and it’s exhilarating to be able to do for them what other people have done for me. Plus, I get to travel a lot.” 

Though he jets from country to country, his roots have remained in New York City. His new penthouse home overlooks central park. “I could never leave the city like Steve did, I’d miss it too much. I did try to find a place in Brooklyn, but my wife and I both work in the Avengers Tower and this is a lot closer. But I definitely try to bring the kids out there as much as possible.” 

He laughs when I ask him how he feels about his high roller life now. “It’s strange to think I grew up in the depression. The truth of the matter is that as long as I have enough to provide for my family, we could be living in shoebox apartment for all I care. It’s just a nice feeling to be able to give my children more than I had.” 

Speaking of family, Mr. Barnes met his lovely wife through a mutual friend, Captain Samuel Wilson. “I lost a bet, and so he got to set me up on a blind date. Turns out, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.” His wife, a psychologist specializing in trauma, worked with Sam Wilson at the VA, and now with the Avengers Initiative. “When we met it was like boom, this is love. She’s it for life. Convincing her was a little harder than that, but she came around eventually” he jokes. 

“We met, fell in love, and were married within a year. It’s still crazy to me that it happened that fast. I never pictured myself as someone who would do something like that, but I knew I couldn’t live without her. I’m just glad she felt the same way.”   

His love for his wife is obvious, he spent a whole 10 minutes in the interview gushing about her. “She’s a huge reason I started to take therapy more seriously. She’s just so amazing. She never yelled or got upset with me on my hard days. She would take my hand and guide me through it. I’m here today and where I am because of her, I know it. I’m so glad she gets to help other people the way she’s helped me. It’s inspiring what she does, and she’s so good at it.” 

With busy jobs, the Barnes’ weren’t necessarily looking to have kids when they did. “We’d been married for two years when we found out she was pregnant. We had talked about kids right when we got married, and decided that it would happen when it happened. We’re both busy and love our jobs, but honestly there never would have been a good time. I think the kids came when we were ready.” 

Not only was it a surprise pregnancy, but a surprise baby as well. Twins Rebecca and Grant Samuel were born in the spring last year. “They’re almost a year and a half. It’s amazing to see them grow. I watched Steve’s kids a lot when they were younger, but it’s so much different when it’s your own. I mean they could just be wiggling around on the floor and I’d be so proud of them. I don’t think I stopped crying for a whole day when they were born. It’s a miracle on top of a miracle. They get a lot of love.” 

The youngest Barnes’ seem to be a staple at the Avengers Tower. “Thank god Tony fought for that daycare when Morgan was born. My wife and I get to see them so much more, and so do their aunts and uncles. They get daily cuddles from Aunt Natasha and Uncle Sam.” With such busy lives, it seems the maximum amount of children has been reached. “We both love out jobs so much, I don’t think it would be fair for either of us to quit. And it wouldn’t be fair to another baby if we had one, we’re already spread thin. We don’t even have time for a cat so, two is a good number and we’re sticking to it.” 

Some days Sergeant Barnes can’t believe his own life. “It’s crazy to think about my life now as opposed to before. I wish a lot of the times that I could go back and tell my 1940s self that it all ends up ok. That you’ll be happier than you ever thought possible. That broken and lost man finds a home and a place.” For a moment, James looks wistful and simply smiles down at his coffee. “I think I would gladly take all that stuff that happened to me again, if I get to end up back here again.” 

A few clarifying questions are asked, and pleasantries are exchanged-- James leaves to pick up his children. In those last moments, it’s hard to think of James Barnes as anything but an outstanding citizen, who has done more than his share to help better the world. A far cry from the scared, young boy that went to war; James has finally found his purpose and light in life. 

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