Another draft because FS is taking too long
Title: two wrongs don’t make a right (so what do two douchebags and a dweeb make?)
Douche/fuck boy Jimin and Jin, weirdo!OC
Jimin waits until the girl’s tiny frame disappears down the hallway in a blur of overly familiar stained sweats before turning to stare down a very sheepish looking Jin.
“You can’t tell anyone about this, got it?” He rakes a hand through his hair, mussing it and making him resemble a cockatoo.
“Dude, relax. I get it, you have a rep to maintain. Everyone ventures outside their type for a first time.”
Jin winces. He knows he’s known for being incredibly picky—only ever sleeping with 4.0 girls (the number referring to their maximum dress size and minimum GPA). Someone even did a story on it in the Hot Takes section of the school magazine. He’s still not sure if it’s a moment he should proud of.
“About that…” he trails off and tugs nervously at the throw blanket he hastily clothed himself with when Jimin burst into their shared living room only to catch him in a rather compromising position. With that girl of all people.
“What?”
“Itsnotthefirsttimeanditwontbethelast”
Jimin blinks slowly, trying to process the flurry of words and Jin’s ashamed tone. When what Jin said finally hits him, he grins darkly.
“Man, c’mon. Don’t joke like that about her, its not nice.”
“Jimin, I’m—,” Jin looks around the hallway suspiciously before dragging Jimin into the dorm and slamming the door shut. “I’m being serious, okay?” Jimin’s jaw drops and he begins to sputter.
“But…why her?”
The first time Jimin encountered you was during a particularly late night in the stacks of the library last semester. The year was starting off hard and he was getting his ass kicked in one particular introductory psych class.
At around 1 in the morning, he had one more problem to finish on his take-home exam but was desperately stuck. He remembered seeing someone who he recognized from class sitting in the economics section. He thought it was odd initially. Usually no one sat there because the smell from the librarians’ bathroom often carried over. And no one wanted to study to the smell of coffee shits.
Taking a break, he grabbed his laptop and wandered around the stacks to find the classmate. When he found you, you were in the process of packing up, struggling to get your earphones into the headphone jack of your phone while also carrying a stack of periodicals and a burger from the campus grill, which happened to be leaking ketchup onto your already dingy tracksuit. He approached you carefully.
“Hey, you’re in Professor Kang’s class, right?”
“Huh?”
His voice startled you and you lost your precarious grip on your stuff. The poorly wrapped burger fell to the floor and bled a little onto your white converse. The periodicals fluttered down around your feet.
“Shit, sorry. Lemme help you,” he offered as he put his laptop down. You gasped from your spot already crouched on the ground.
“No, please, it’s really okay. Please, I’m fine, I don’t need—“
But he already had one printout from the stack in his hand and automatically turned it over. When Jimin looks back on the memory, he thinks that this may have been the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life.
He would later find out after a nervous google search that the paper in his hand, and probably 80 percent of the papers on the ground, were called fursonas. While a handful might have been somewhat decent, most of them were of overly buff rabbits with bubble butts raised for the viewer or tigers fisting weeping, veiny dicks over pastel backgrounds. The one he held was of a duck, or something, with a weight lifter’s body with an obscene expression on its face while tentacles swarmed it from all angles. The implications of what might be happening in the picture made Jimin’s head hurt.
“Oh my god, what the fuck. What the fuck,” he whispered. He was so stunned that he let you rip the page from his hand.
“It’s called fur-centric hentai and its art,” you hissed. The line sounded mechanical and well-practiced if you asked Jimin. He watched you gather the rest of your belongings quickly, burger included, before leaving him crouched in the economics stacks.
Jin snaps his fingers in front of Jimin’s zoned out face only to have him be brought back to reality with a look of slight disgust.
“What’s your problem, fix your face,” Jin snapped.
“I’m just trying to figure out why you chose her, of all people. You remember that story I told you about the Econ stacks. I was so scarred, I got a C on that test.”
“Pretty sure you got a C because you didn’t realize there was a second page of the homework.”
“Well, if she hadn’t thrown her weird animal dicks all over the place, I would have realized there was a back and finished the assignment”
Jin sniffs and drops the blanket he was wearing, before walking over to the kitchen to get a drink, naked as the day he was born. Jimin follows on autopilot.
“Maybe you should stop trying to yuck my yum,”Jin says over his shoulder.
“Oh my god, don’t say it like that. I’m just saying, man. She’s weird. And gross. And more importantly not.Your. Type.” He enunciates each word with a poke to Jin’s bare back while he gets them some beers.
“You think I don’t fucking know that? That’s why I keep it discrete. Why do you think I told you not to come home every Tuesday and Thursday at until after 8:30?”
“You said you had lab.”
“How the hell could I do a lab in our apartment?”
“It…It could happen.”
“I’m a poetry major,” Jin pinches the bridge of his nose at his roommate’s stupidity, “Damnit Jimin.”
Jimin purses his lips when he realizes he might be even dumber than he thought.
“Wait a second, you’ve had lab,” he makes giant air quote gestures, “for, what, 2 months now? You’ve just been fucking her this whole time?”
There’s a beat of silence as Jin takes another swig from his beer. “Yeah,” he finally says. The matter of fact air of his response makes something glitch in Jimin’s brain.
“What the hell, dude? That’s a lot of repeat service. Does she have something on you? Is that why you’re doing this? Did you break an expensive-ass vase or something?” Jimin stops to think, his mind running wild with possibilities. “Holy shit, are you being pimped out?”
“No. God, would you just shut up?” Jin sighs quietly. “I’m sleeping with her so much because she’s the best I’ve ever had.”
Jimin takes a step back at the defeated sincerity in Jin’s tone.
“How? What about that time with that other girl--what was her name?” Jimin runs a hand through his hair trying to remember any name of one of many the girls Jin has had a fling with. “Oh! Irene or something? What about her?”
“I mean, Irene was fine. She gave pretty good head. But last Thursday I thought I came harder than I’ve ever come in my entire life.”
“You ‘thought’?”
Jin looks up wistfully somewhere behind Jimin’s head at the memory. “Well then she came over the following Tuesday and rocked my shit,” he smirks. “And then that was the hardest I’ve ever come in my life.”
“So she gives good head. Who cares? There’s plenty of girls on campus who give good head and also don’t draw furry porn for a living and wash their damn sweatpants.”
“You don’t understand, dude. It’s not just the head. It’s the head, and the handjobs, and the pussy. It’s everything.”
Jimin raises his eyebrows incredulously. “The pussy is better than the handjobs?” He has to try hard not to look impressed. Meanwhile Jin is smilng, almost relieved now that the secret is out and he can talk openly about the mindblowing sex he’d been having.
“The first time she jerked me off, I passed out immediately after I came and woke up late to the class the next afternoon.”
Jimin narrows his eyes but motions with a hand for Jin to continue.
“The first time she blew me I couldn’t even walk afterward.”
“Wait...was that the day you told me you thought you had a sprained ankle? The one that healed after 24 hours?”
“Yep.”
The smug tone and the second stupid lie make Jimin want to rip his hair out. “Why do you lie so much,” he whispered, pain in his voice.
“I wasn’t lying, I really thought I had a sprained ankle.”
“From a blowjob?”
“That’s what I said.”
“What about the, uh, the pussy,” Jimin asks after realizing the FBI probably won’t come through the doors and snipe him for talking about vagina.
“The one time she let me hit it raw, I cried.,” Jin says, absolutely beaming.
“Oh, come on. You can’t be serious.”
“I am, though. I think she was gonna let me do it again today.” Jin closes his eyes and smiles softly while Jimin looks on, unamused.
“So? What happened today? She underperform or something?” There’s a hint of jealousy and a lot of curiosity in his tone, but Jimin would deny it if anyone asked him.
“No, asswipe. She got spooked because you showed up when you weren’t supposed to.”
“Well, sorry for ruining your lies,” Jimin snaps, cracking open his own beer.
“You think this is a joke?” Jin shoves Jimin in the chest roughly. “We didn’t get to finish because of you. Now I have to jerk off with my own hand. That’s pathetic”
“And what were you doing before you met her? Listen to yourself, she’s making you crazy. No one is that good in bed.”
Jin stomps over to the couch and settles down before turning and looking at Jimin over the backboard.
“You know what? You go and sleep with her 3--no--4 times. And if she doesn’t completely fry your brain, I’ll pay for any and all of your takeout for the next month. But If she does, you gotta switch mattresses with me and not come by the dorm until after 10 on Tuesdays and Thursdays from then on.”
“Dude, gross I don’t want your sex soaked mattress. It’s the same as yours anyway. Minus the ten gallons of old jizz on it.”
“No, it’s not. You have that, like, Tempurpedic thing.”
“True,” Jimin nods thoughtfully, “But don’t you think it would be weird if the roommate of the guy she was fucking started trying to get in her pants? Also, I could just lie and say she didn’t do it for me. Then you’d be forced to pay for my food and—Hold on. If she’s so good, why are you so willing to pawn her off to me?”
“Why do you ask so many stupid questions? First of all, she’s not mine just because I’m sleeping with her. I’m just telling you to go see if she’ll let you. I mean, there’s no guarantee. She barely even gave me a shot.”
“She barely gave you a shot? But you’re, like, the campus prince”, more air quotes, “How did this even happen?”
“Well, to make a long story short, we were both high at her sorority and I’d heard rumors about her from Wonho, so I went to…talk to her in her room.”
“Wonho is Wonho, though. He’d fuck anyone if the weed was good.”
“That’s where you’re mistaken, my friend. He has a diverse and sophisticated palate. He knows what he’s talking about when it comes to weed and sex. Once I took him up on his suggestion and she said yes, I never looked back,” Jin says with a dreamy voice.
Jimin watches the back of Jin’s head loll on the sofa. When a soft sigh emerges from where the older man is sitting, Jimin recoils and runs out of the kitchen, away from the couch.
“Are you jerking off right now? Dude. Not cool.”
“Get the fuck out, then. It’s Thursday, which means I’m getting off by 7:30pm and I don’t give a rat’s ass who’s here when it happens.”
“Fine,” Jimin huffs and reluctantly stuffs his feet back into his sneakers where they lie by the door. “I hope your dick chafes.”
Jin purposefully releases another, louder moan and Jimin runs out of the apartment.
“I’ll have an order of the half crispy, half spicy and a large coke. Thanks,” Jimin says to the clerk at the grill before checking his phone for the 8th time in the hour.
8:01 Jimin - Are you done yet?
(8:10 read by Jin)
8:11 Jin - yeah but round two starts soon so
8:11 Jin - *middle finger emoji*
Jimin quickly shuts down his messenger app and opens up Flappy Bird while he sits at a table and waits for his order number to be called.
“Stupid asshole and his stupid dick, kicking me out of the stupid apartment. Fuck you, dickhead,” Jimin mutters to himself.
“What did you just say?”
Jimin’s head whips up at the infantile voice coming from the seat across from him. Jeon Jungkook is sitting at his table, eating a veggie burger. Who the hell orders a veggie burger from a chicken place?
“Were you talking to me,” Jungkook asks again, pushing his bulky glasses up with a finger.
“Jeon, why would I be talking to you? A better question is why the hell are you talking to me?
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How Maintaining Your Routine When Traveling Helps You
If I have actually learned anything over the previous few months is that it's unbelievably vital to keep a regular while you travel. Initially the battle on my end is completely psychological. The psychological adjustment to living a way of living that doesn't mirror just how you normally live the meticulously curated lifestyle you have actually established for yourself.
In preparation for my trip to the United States, I sought to be prepared with pre-written blog site posts for you men. I actually did. In fact, I actually only had a handful finished. If I'm being honest, this is the first real vacation I have actually absorbed years. If you've read my blog site for longer than the last year or so, and also if you have, you're one of the most effective people ever, you'll claim "Ally, you've been overseas" and also it holds true. I have. Nonetheless ... my overseas journeys have actually constantly been work-related as well as whilst I'm thankful for all of the places function has actually taken me I in fact locate it difficult to place my laptop computer away and absolutely, truthfully change off.
As you read this, we're going north on our trip to San Francisco in a Recreational Vehicle. We're roughly a hr in, however we have actually simply been held up near Malibu with minimal net coverage so we cannot really gauge for how long we'll be right here for. The sunlight is seatsing over the ocean - which is incredibly odd if you're from the east coastline of Australia - and also the sight is absolutely spectacular, so excuse me while I obtain sidetracked. Update - it was actually a 4 cars and truck accident (after two hours of stand up). I do not know if I will certainly get the opportunity to upload this while I am in the UNITED STATE _ I may simply hold on to it for my return at the end of Nov. I have had a little of a so-called digital detoxification due to the reality I have actually intended to simply be soaked up in this journey! So, if I publish this after I return, allow me take you back in time ...
If I've learned anything over the past couple of months is that it's incredibly crucial to preserve a regular while you travel. The struggle on my end is totally psychological. The psychological modification to living a lifestyle that doesn't show how you generally live the carefully curated way of life you have actually set for yourself. The means I have actually tried to fight/ rectify the circumstance is to try to maintain the standard structure of your normal lifestyle.
I need to stress and anxiety: you don't should stress. Leave your regimen where it was. You usually wake at 7:30 on the dot? If you're walking around, you'll wake anywhere from 12:30 am for three hrs or 12:30 pm (once more for three hours prior to dropping off to sleep in a Dennys). You simply need to - try at the very least - prioritise and also provide precedence to those components of your life that to some degree specify as well as outline the scary Halloween skeleton of your life. In saying that, you can't anticipate these points to form - they're points you should plan for.
PLANNING IS STUPID, Do This FOR ME
The biggest thing when taking a trip is time restraint. You do not wish to be restrictive to yourself or whoever you're taking a trip with. If you make it a priority to obtain some excellent food in your body and move your body simply 15-20-minutes at all times restrictions will not defeat up your regular so badly.
It's a very various way of existing when you get on the do without a regular to drop back on. In your everyday life, your way of living can be comforting as well as provide framework when job or lifestyle difficulties present themselves. Whilst taking a trip, it's all regarding not veering as well near those specifying elements of your routine life without trying to regulate whatever to the umpteenth degree and also making your vacation demanding and not enjoyable. For me, traveling isn't really a retreat from your daily life or a separation from truth, they're an expansion of it. Below are some means to preserve a regular when traveling.
1. Choose an area with a kitchen
I love submersing myself within a society. Like everybody, I like attempting new dining establishments and also, more notably, brand-new cuisines when taking a trip. Keep tuned for my The U.S.A. pointers for LA, San Francisco, NY and Mexico. When we remained at the Meriton Serviced Apartments we had the ability to prepare and prepare breakfast the last early morning we were there. Sometimes consuming out reaches be excessive and costly, so having a fully-equipped kitchen area really assists with this.
2. Choose healthy options
If you are traveling, there are many healthy choices nowadays. Ensure you search Pinterest and also your favour blogs in advance of taking a trip! I will certainly upgrade you on a few of my UNITED STATE suggestions as soon as possible. Did you see Sydney's recently?
3. Move your body
I composed a blog post a couple of years ago concerning ways to stay in shape when taking a trip - this is one I am very enthusiastic regarding. It is so simple to preserve a fitness routine when taking a trip - all you need to do it mix it up and do the finest you can. Some points Jonathan and I want to do are: stroll anywhere or cycle. Many hotels have a health club, so just appear, I loved having the ability to use the Meriton Serviced Apartments gym - they had treadmills, exercising weights as well as a rowing device, all which I use at my typical health club so we tailored my exercise to that fitness center as well as made it much shorter as we were restricted with time.
If you're taking a trip globally, or are hard at job, you could discover you're short on power, or are weak compared to typical. For us, a big component of our travel workouts are maintaining the habit. You will not obtain torn in a single workout. Likewise, you will not obtain ripped in any way if you quit working out after a long holiday as well as never ever obtain back to it.
I truly enjoyed being able to start my day with something I normally do as it made me really feel positioned despite the fact that I wasn't in my usual surroundings. Another idea is fill your knapsack with water bottles and also stroll. If you're not staying at a hotel with a fitness center then my tip would certainly be to do some body weight movements like: push-ups, air squats and also burpees. You can also do the exercise I suggested earlier this month as no equipment is needed.
4. Eat the way you usually do also if you typically aren't eating the foods you normally do.
I understand this may be difficult, especially on a long vacations, but try to eat exactly how you usually would. For me, I would certainly never eat a significant morning meal, lunch and supper. I would certainly constantly pick one dish and also make that the main. For morning meal while traveling I would certainly either begin the day with a grain, fruit or eggs and then a larger lunch, If I had a big breakfast however-- face it, I needed to attempt American pancakes, I would certainly then have a small lunch and so on, et cetera. The secret is enjoying yourself yet not damaging yourself.
Again, it's concerning keeping your eating habits.
5. Get on neighborhood time as quickly as I arrive
This is definitely critical - so if you're taking a trip to Sydney, hop on regional time asap. If you're traveling to the U.S.A, you'll have a stopover, so start to establish your clock on your 2nd flight.
It's presently 12 noon Wednesday back in Sydney and also 6:17 pm Tuesday regional time LA, and I am feeling sensibly terrific all things taken into consideration. I figured that by this stage, I 'd be squeezing myself to stay awake till going to bed, particularly with inputting while taking a trip in the back of the Recreational Vehicle. Did I even mention that I'm in a Motor Home? Since I am. It appears like this. VROOOOOOM. Oh man, I rejoice I am not feeling sick right currently. VROOOOOOOOOMasdghlkjahsdgkfljh.
Last evening we went to sleep around 10 neighborhood time to ensure that gave all of us enough time to thrash, awaken in the night while still getting 6-8 hours of sleep. My various other tip is to book someplace super comfortable with cloud like beds for the opening night or more to make sure that readjusting your sleep is very easy. I know that does not seem like it would certainly make much distinction, yet after investing 15+ hrs obtaining from one place to the following, you can't underestimate the value of remaining in a bed that's not a super-cheap seat on a 3rd rate airline company that just reclines regarding fifty percent of a single degree. Oh, to be back in the Meriton on their cloud like beds, after spending the past four nights on a cushion thinner than a Denny's pancake.
If you have any type of regular or traveling pointers, let me understand by means of the comment area, Instagram or snail mail. Though, that could take a while to get to me.
A big thank you to the Meriton and Amex for permitting JD and also I remain with you!
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