#i would rather just bang my head against this brick wall.

[yutarot]

IN PERFECT SYNC [j.jh smau]

twenty-two — i did it for you wc: 0.9k

there was nothing like the sweet, sweet bliss of fresh air amidst a college party. it was who you found in that fresh air, that made you want to turn around and walk back inside.

a face you haven’t seen for weeks.

the face of the girl who betrayed you.

giselle.

she didn’t see you right away, to engrossed in thought of whatever seemed to be bothering her, hidden behind a tail of cigarette smoke.

it was only after you’d turned your body in preparation to leave that she noticed you, her words stopping you in your tracks.

“you not having fun?” she asks.

you turn back around and she offers you her cigarette, which you politely refuse.

“i am..” you reply, “just needed some air.”

“ah.” she drops the cigarette to the floor, stomping it out with the toe of her heels. “sorry.”

you furrow your brows at her nicety. what’s the point in being nice now, after everything she had done to you?

as if she’s read your mind, she speaks up. “look yn, about Y..”

“you mean jaehyun? you can say his name giselle, i wont start crying.” you snap, and she flinches in shock.

“you know?” she asks, surprised.

but you’re even more surprised at her question. she seems eerily calm about the fact that Y was infact jaehyun. why was she more shocked about the fact that you knew? unless…

“you knew?” you question.

her head hangs in defeat.

she knew the whole time?

“giselle?”

she looks back up at you.

“i knew.” she whispers. “but yn-“

“it’s just one thing after the next with you.” you say, sighing, picking yourself up to go back inside.

but she stops you.

“i did it for you.”

huh..?

“what?”

“sleeping with him. i did it for you.”

you feel the need to bang your head incessantly against a brick wall in attempt to understand what the hell she means.

“oh so you slept with my ex bestfriend behind my back… all for me????” you feign adoration sarcastically, “awww giselle you didn’t have to.”

“yn! i’m serious!”

your smile falters as you notice a change in giselle a demeanour.

she’s telling the truth.

“what do you mean you did it for me?”

“remember when you got that message from Y saying ‘i’m over you.’?” she says.

“yes…”

“that night, i bumped into jaehyun on my way to the bathroom and uh, he looked upset.”

you’re confused.

“upset? what about?”

“you.”

you let her continue. “he was drunk, and so i asked him what was bothering him, not actually caring, just hoping i could yk, find out something interesting. and boy… i did…”

“he told you he was Y, didn’t he.”

“yeah… and look yn, i rlly wanted to go straight to you and tell you. but all i could think about was how you would feel if you found out that the one person in the world you hated the most ended up being Y. i knew that you would feel so embarrassed and hurt and i just really couldn’t stand to let you find out like that, not after everything he did to you and not after everything Y had said to you. i knew you were excited about it, i couldn’t stand to see you be let down.”

your eyes look down to the floor, trying to figure out what she’s trying to say. but she continues.

“so, drunk out of my mind, all i could think about is that he needs to get over you before you find out. i thought i could do something.”

“so you slept with him?”

“so i slept with him.”

wow.

you don’t know how to feel.

you have to admit, giselle’s drunken attempt at being a good friend to you was quite frankly stupid and albeit it insanely dumb, but her intentions shocked you.

“i didn’t think of the repercussions, i didn’t think of how you would feel when you found out about it. but i knew that id rather have you hate me than have your heart broken by the fact that Y was jaehyun. so i let you hate me. i wanted you to hate me, if it made you happy.”

just like how jaehyun did, you think to yourself. she had chosen your own feelings over hers.

“giselle…”

“i don’t expect you to forgive me, what i did was stupid. because you know now anyways.”

you don’t know how to tell giselle that whatever she did, worked. that jaehyun really is now over you, that Y isn’t him anymore. because something makes you reluctant to admit that she ended up being right.

“you really did all that so that jaehyun would get over me before i found out he was Y?”

“yeah, stupid right.”

you laugh, and she laughs too.

she’s right, it was stupid. and to you, her reasoning makes no sense, but to know that she didn’t purposefully betray you makes you feel a little better.

like jaehyun, she let you hate her so that your suspicion wouldn’t falter.

but you really can’t forgive her.

because, unlike jaehyun, she knew it was him she was sleeping with.

you sigh. “it’s too complex.”

she nods. “i’m really sorry.”

you smile, “see you around?”

“see you around.”

but you won’t. not tomorrow, not next year.

not ever.

mlist — next

notes; sorry to those of u who thought Y 2.0 was giselle 😢😢😢 but i wonder why yn and gigi won’t be friends ever again 🤔🤔🤔🤔 hmmm suspicious 🤔🤔🤔🤔 oh yeah btw tmrs chapter is the big Y 2.0 reveal😁 sleep well!

taglist — open; @https-yeonjun @chenlesfavorite @therealbobbyshloby @f6llsun @jkslvsnella @nanaxwi @cloudmrk @neocrashed @vernonburger @vividwritess @taeeflwrr @mmjhh1998 @cyjzzl @stareaa @minkyuncutie @mrkleelvr @dudekiss3r @nattan127 @slayhaechan @jaeveil @tynlvr @mslora @nosungluv @grassbutneo @dokyriu @girlz4jaem @axo-l0tl @yyangj3lly @solvrse @m1ng1swife @gentlepeach @xiuriii @soobinbunnie5 @tocupid @apolloxxivmin @ctrlstar @gyuguys @tokitosun @i-kai @flamingi @mrkleelvr @en-dream @queenrachelpink @ssweetreveries @swanyvess @flaminghotyourmom @hyuck-me @cryingforjae @hizhu @starfilledgaze

[maulthots]

Mohg is the only major boss I haven't beaten yet, besides radagon/elden beast, and I feel like I should for the sake of completion but it's so gross there. I don't want to. But also i'm so close....my spreadsheet....

[woso-dreamzzz]

Illness

Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader

Summary: You hide an illness

If you weren't delirious with a fever and sweating bullets, you would have described this moment as the most embarrassing moment of your life.

The semi-final El Clásico was one of the most important of the season and it was such bad luck that you had fallen ill the week before. It was most likely the flu but you never went to any doctor to get it checked out. Instead, you hunkered down in your apartment and refused to leave until you got better.

Only, you never did get fully better. Your immune system was as strong as a wall of feathers so you just decided to channel your inner Oscar winner and pretend you were fine.

You arrived at training every day after taking enough painkillers to fell an ox and hydrate yourself to the point that you were sure that your bladder had to force itself to grow.

It paid off though because you were part of the squad going to Madrid and you caught up on sleep during the train ride so could keep up your façade all the way up to the match day.

Your head was pounding as you finally stepped onto the pitch about ten minutes after half time, sliding easily into Lucy's position as the ball went back into play.

Thankfully, football was an instinct rather than a conscious thought at this point and even with a banging headache, achy limbs and a blocked nose, you played without much issue.

"Hey," Irene said as you took a little break from running to walk over to the corner that was being set up," You okay? You're slower than usual today."

You fanned yourself with your jersey. "Just a little hot."

She gave you an odd look. "It isn't that hot. You haven't been on the pitch for long."

You gave her a shrug and lied straight to her face," Really? I guess I'm just running warm today." You picked up the pace and slotted yourself between Athenea and Olga.

It was almost slow motion as Salma sent a cross into the box. Olga tried to push you forward and away while Athenea's elbow stabbed you straight in the eye.

You dropped like a brick backwards into Olga, who surprised by your sudden weight, dropped you on the floor. Your head banged painfully against the grass and you groaned.

There was a slight ringing in your ears but you couldn't focus on anything but the desperate churning of your stomach. You squeezed your eyes tight to try to stem the swirling but it just made stars explode behind your eyelids as your face throbbed from Athenea's elbow.

Your stomach bubbled up and you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, kid, you okay?" It was Irene and she jostled you slightly.

That was what did it and you rolled over onto your stomach just in time to surrender your dinner.

You burst into tears, sobbing into the grass.

"Holy shit, y/n," Mariona said," You're burning up! Are you sick?"

"You're sick?!"

You continued to cry into the grass. With your usual caretaker (Alexia) out of the team for the rest of the month, it meant Irene was in charge of you.

You couldn't decide if you would rather Alexia at this moment.

"Go away," You cried into the grass.

"Can't do that," Ingrid said as she crouched over you," The medics are coming to get you."

You turned your head to look at her.

"She got you good, huh?" Ingrid said, her fingers ghosting over your swollen eye.

"Ingrid," You croaked out," My head hurts."

"I'm sure. That was a nasty fall."

"Hurt before that too."

She made a sympathetic noise as she helped you sit up for the medics to have a proper look at you.

You were escorted straight off when they checked the dilation of your pupils.

Lucy trailed back with you along with Marta, who looked to already be on the phone with Alexia. You knew your caretaker would be watching the match so it wasn't a surprise that she had already called someone the moment you went down.

"Got quite the shiner there," Lucy commented as she inspected your bruised eye," Trying to look like Mapi?"

"At least it isn't bleeding," You said before descending into a coughing fit, thumping at your chest to try and regain your breath.

Lucy laughed but quietened when Marta held the phone out to you. You tried to ignore the sinking feeling you felt when you saw Alexia's contact picture.

You cleared your throat.

"Hola?"

"I knew it!" Alexia declared.

"Know what?" You tried to play dumb even though your whole body protested.

"When I saw you yesterday and you told me you were back to full health! I knew you were lying to me! You're still sick!"

"Barely." Your defence didn't help when you started coughing again.

"You sound horrible," Alexia said bluntly," You're not playing the final. I'll have you benched."

"I'll be benched anyway. I've got a bruise the size of my fucking country on my eye and a concussion, probably."

"We'll have a talk about hiding illness when you get home," Alexia said," And I'll have to leave a message for your captain."

You would have rolled your eyes if it didn't cause a whole new pain to shoot through your skull. Your nose was all blocked up again so the pressure in your head was only mounting. "You're my captain."

"Your national captain."

"Oh, what? You can't tell Leah! She'll go barmy! I'll be lectured for hours!"

"You're being lectured regardless, by me," Alexia said," Now, rest up, drinks lots and I'll see you in a few days."

You didn't even get the chance to watch the end of the match because Marta forced you back to the hotel and into your room.

"No screens," She said when you moved to turn on the tv.

"Well, what else am I meant to do?" You complained, blowing out your nose.

"Well, for one, you can use the bucket on the floor if you feel like you're going to be sick."

"I'm not going to throw up."

"You threw up on the pitch." Marta just had to remind you of the most embarrassing moment of your life and your cheeks flushed red out of embarrassment now instead of your fever.

"But I won't now."

Marta didn't get time to respond because the door to your room got thrown open and Patri sprawled herself next to you on the bed.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," She teased, dumping some chocolate onto your lap.

"Patri," Marta groaned," She's sick and injured. She needs rest."

"She needs company. She's still human. You can't just lock her in her room like she's Rapunzel."

Marta rolled her eyes and swatted at Patri. "She doesn't need you hindering her recovery. Go on, out with you."

"Nah," Patri said as she got comfortable," I think I'll stay here. Besides, y/n wants me to stay."

You sent Marta your most pathetic and sad look.

"Please, Marta?" You begged," I promise she'll help me. It'll be nice to have some company."

Marta sighed deeply. "Fine but just for now. This all might change by the time Alexia gets her."

You groaned and flopped back to lay against your pillows properly. "Don't remind me."

[brummiereader]

MASTERLIST

Hopelessly Devoted (PART ONE)

Summary: A flashback to when you and Tommy were young, carefree and smitten with one another plays out in your head as you sit alone in the Garrison, watching him now in the arms of another woman whilst you desperately hold onto the love you still have for him. Does Tommy share the same sentiments or has his bitterness towards you stained the love he claims he no long has for you?

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, mutual pining

Authors note: Inspired by the song "Hopelessly Devoted" by Olivia Newton-John. RIP sweet angel.

"We're bloody late again!" your mother muttered under her breath as she hurried up the church steps holding onto her hat from the bitter January wind whilst you are your little brother George, lovingly known as Georgie walked behind her. "Ten minutes until we leave I said" she huffed turning around, scowling at you as you rolled your eyes in response. "Ten minutes! In the time it took for you to put your dress on I had swept the porch and gotten your brother ready. Why did you give me such an unruly child?" she said looking up to the heavens expecting some sort of response. "Out all hours gallivanting about with those Shelby boys, never listening to a word I say. I'm being punished aren't I, for the sins of her father...the bloody fool he was, drinking himself to an early grave, leaving me here to fend for myself with two kids..." she carried on as you held your little brothers hand, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he looked up at you, shaking his head at your mother's relentless rambling. " Y/N let me look at you. Bloody hell child, you look a state!" she frowned as she turned to face you at the top of the steps.

"Can you just stop" you said trying to move her hands away as she pushed your hair back behind your ears, pinching your cheeks to give them a rosy glow. "Look at your dress..." she huffed as she straightened the bottom out, pulling at the frilly pink fabric whilst your little brother reached up to open the church door. "Stay still!" she said as you started fidgeting away from her hands, her overbearing mothering making you feel like you was eight years old again.

" For god's sake I'm not a kid!" you replied rather loudly when the doors fully opened and everyone in their seats turned around to look at the commotion. "Shit" you mumbled under your breath as you looked to the sea of eyes now staring back at you, the loud bang of the church door slamming against the brick wall startling you as your little brother giggled in amusement.

" Bloody Walk Y/N" your mother said through gritted teeth behind you as she took her and George's hat off. Smiling graciously left to right at the people seated along the outer rows your mother politely mouthed small hellos and good mornings as all three of you made your way down the aisle, her normal vocabulary filled with a plethora of her favourite profanities not once leaving her lips. Turning your head you quickly spotted Tommy sitting next to his family with a huge grin on his face, loving every second of the embarrassment he knew you was enduring. As the sound of your heels on the stone floor echoed loudly through the church, your entrance now the focus point of everyone's attention, you finally reached the alter with the Reverend stood beside it. You could almost feel the laughter Tommy and Arthur were holding back as your mother pushed you forward to bow. With a grunt leaving your throat you lowered your head, a small mischievous glint in your eye at the sudden, yet stupid idea to prove to your mother how unruly of a child you really was.

" Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been mere hours since I last pissed my mother off..." You said dramatically as your mother's eyes widened in embarrassment a gasp leaving her mouth as she grabbed you by the arm and span you back around, all while apologising profusely to the Priest now shaking his head at her. Oh the shame, the humiliation, she would never live this down. The gossip she would have to endure for months in the women's wash house was a fair consolation for her making you wear this god awful dress you proudly thought to yourself as you walked to find a seat. Sighing the Reverend lowered his eye as he turned the page of his sermon, longing to be appointed somewhere, anywhere out of Small Heath. No number of hail Mary's could save this sinful town. As you walked down the aisle the sudden sound of Tommy and Arthur laughing had you biting your inner cheek holding back your own amusement as you watched Polly snap her head in their direction.

" Shut up" Polly whispered as she reached over hitting each of them in the chest. "Bloody kids" she mouthed sympathetically to your mother as you all walked by.

" Girlfriend finally made it" Arthur whispered in Tommy's ear, knowing full well how smitten he was with you.

" Shes not my girlfriend, shut it" he muttered under his breath as you sent him a small wave which he quickly returned.

" Hi ya" Arthur laughed mocking him.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy replied as he elbowed him in the ribs leaving him wincing in pain.

" I'll let you have that one baby brother" he laughed rubbing his side.

" No fucking swearing in church!" Polly said quietly through gritted teeth as she hit the back of Tommy's head. It was always an eventful service when the Shelby's attended, which made you wonder what they had done to have their Aunt force them this time.

Walking out into the fresh air, free from the stuffy confines of the church you pushed back your hair behind your shoulders folding your arms as you faced the sun. Closing your eyes you sighed as the rays of light beamed onto your skin. With summer still a long way off you was enjoying the rare event in which the sun broke through the smoke filled skies of Small Heath. That was until you felt the warmth disappear and a large shadow take it's place. Opening your eyes you was met with Tommy Shelby standing right in front of you, a cigarette precariously hanging on the corner of his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.

" Get out the way you're blocking the sun" you said as you pushed him to the side closing your eyes again.

" Hmm, you are looking rather pasty"

" Thanks Thomas, you really know how to compliment a lady" you said taking the cigarette out his mouth as you walked over to sit on the brick wall just outside the church.

"Lady?" Tommy laughed as he sent you a cheeky smile." Nice dress by the way. You look like a flower girl"

" Shut up" you said playfully hitting his arm in response, hating everything about the overly embroidered puffy dress you were begrudgingly wearing. " Have you seen yourself?" you smirked looking down at his outfit "Think your Aunt needs to shorten those" you laughed as you nodded to the ends of his trousers bunched up around his boots.

" They're Arthur's hand-me-downs, the lanky git" he said kicking a stone on the ground that you both watched roll into the road.

" So what did you do this time to end up here on a Sunday morning?" You asked as you turned your head to face him.

" Aunt Pol found out Arthur stole one of the candelabras from the Reverends study. Convinced himself it was solid gold, you should have seen his face when we melted it down in Charlie's yard and it was copper" Tommy laughed as he looked back at you. " Polly was furious said he had sinned enough for the whole house and we were all damned to hell if we didn't come today" he explained further as his eyes lingered on your face, watching the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed, a sight he never got tired of. " So you coming later?" he asked leaning into you as he took his cigarette now stained with pink lipstick back from between your fingers, not that he minded.

" No absolutely not. Do you not remember the last time we followed one of Arthur's genius ideas?" you answered folding your arms having already made your mind up.

" He's got a map this time. Come on it will be fun" he said nudging his arm against yours.

" A map to what?"

" To where this rich fuck has all his liquor stored"

"Can I come?" John said running up to you both after overhearing the conversation, poking his brothers knee with a stick in attempt to get his attention which Tommy quickly put a stop to by giving him a kick in the shin.

" No, fuck off " Tommy said pushing him away from in front of him as John stormed off crying in search of his Aunt. " So how about it? "

" Fine, but only because it's your birthday tomorrow" you said giving in as you both smiled to eachother. "But this better be fool proof. I can't risk getting in trouble with my mum again, she's a few breaths away from kicking me out"

" That's alright, you can come live with me" he said winking to you as you looked up at him through your lashes, blushing a darker shade of pink than your dress." We'll come by to get you at eleven, don't be late ok? "

" I'm never late" you responded as Tommy rolled his eyes flicking his cigarette onto the ground. If there was one thing he had learnt over the years it was that you was always late.

" Thomas Michael Shelby! " Polly shouted as she stormed over to you both, dragging John with her by the arm.

"Shit. Right I'm off" Tommy said quickly pecking your cheek as he jumped over the wall running away from his Aunt. Bringing your hand up to your face you pressed your fingers to your skin, a smile dancing on your lips as you turned around to watch Tommy run into the back alleys of Small Heath, fleeing from the fury coming his way. Thomas Michael Shelby your best friend, your partner in crime and also the boy you had been head over heels for as long as you could remember. What a sorry story your limited love life had already been, endlessly pining for a boy you had convinced yourself only saw you as a friend, desperately hoping he felt the same.

It was just after noon when you Tommy and Arthur made your way over the wooden fencing onto the large mansions land. Having never once left the city limits in all of your eighteen years of life you was taken aback by the sheer size of the house in front of you. Surrounded by luscious green grass, rows of trees adorning its drive way, you was sure it was something only seen in films, a far cry from the mud and dirt of Small Heath.

" Give me the map" Tommy said as Arthur handed it to him whilst he looked over the brick wall separating you and the owner who was outside sitting in a garden chair.

"Arthur he has a dog. A mean looking thing" you said as Tommy stood beside you squinting at the map in his hand.

"Yeh well, he would have still been out with that dog hunting, but you were late" Tommy interjected with a smile on his face, having been right about your constant tardiness.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Y/N, I've been coming here every day for the past week feeding him leftovers, he likes me. He won't make a peep " Arthur said trying to reassure you as you rolled your eyes at him knowing anything the eldest Shelby said was not to be trusted and far from the actual truth.

" Jesus Christ Arthur" Tommy said throwing the map at his brothers chest. " This is a fucking map for a house in London!"

" Ay?" Arthur said as he straightened it out in front of him. " Where's it say that? " he asked as Tommy snatched it back from him pointing at the words "London" written right underneath the name of the house.

" Well how was I supposed to bloody know. They should have put it at the very top"

" It's in fucking capitals Arthur, how can you not..."

" Right I'm going home" you said as the two brothers continued to argue. As always Arthur's ideas were never properly thought out, often getting you in trouble more than anything else.

" Wait Y/N no, come on stay" Tommy said as he looked back to his older brother widening his eyes in gesture to help him convince you not to leave.

" Y/N " Arthur said as he put his arm around your shoulder. " We're at the back entrance. He probably keeps it down in the basement, it won't be far. You're the only one small enough to shimmy through the window to open the lock on the other side. Come on, dont let us down, it's Tom's birthday tomorrow. "

" Fine. But if I put another ladder in my stockings you're paying for a new pair" you said pointing to him as Arthur placed a wooden crate below the window for you to stand on.

"Atta girl" Arthur said as he turned his head around winking to Tommy as you climbed through the window, quickly making in through to the other side. Pushing past his brother, Tommy went to open the door when the dog Arthur promised wouldn't bark suddenly started to do exactly that.

" Hey! Who's there?" the owner said as you all ran into the house. " Get 'em boy" he shouted as his dog came charging round the corner into the building.

" Fucking traitor! After all the food I gave you" Arthur shouted as you all ran down the hall, making your way up to the second level.

" What did you feed him with?" you asked breathlessly as you ran beside them, Tommy's hand resting on your back making sure you didn't get left behind.

"Sprouts"

"Sprouts!" You and Tommy both shouted looking back at him.

" It's all we had"

" No wonder he bloody hates you" Tommy said as all three of you came to a stop behind a wall waiting for a maid to walk by.

" Sniff them out" the owner said as you heard the sound of the dogs nails clicking on the wooden floorboards, getting closer by the second.

" Shiiit, run! Hide! Arthur giggled as you legged it down one of the second floor corridors, Tommy quickly pulling you into a small storage room to the side as Arthur continued to run down the hall. Breathless, you both looked up at eachother as a fit of laughs left your lips. Bringing his finger up to his mouth Tommy gestured for you to be quiet as the sound of the owner walking along the corridor quickly brought your giggles to a stop. Taking in your surroundings you suddenly realised how close you were to eachother. Cardboard boxes were stacked as high as the ceiling all around you, there was barely enough space for one person let alone two.

" Is he gone?" you whispered to which Tommy nodded, his eyes looking over you as he too started to realise how close you were to one another." You're taking all the space" you said trying to free yourself from the uncomfortable position you was in.

" Y/N my backs pushed up against the door. I don't have any more room to move" he said as you huffed in response moving your arm that was stuck between you to the side. Silence fell upon the small room as you continued to fidget in place whilst Tommy cleared his throat, his eyes darting between you and the surrounding boxes.

" What? Why do you keep looking at me like that" you said with a thrown on your face.

" I'm not looking at you like anything" Tommy replied as he quickly glanced away. With your focus now elsewhere, Tommy's eyes drifted down to both of your bodies pressed up against eachother, biting his inner cheek in attempt to rid himself of all the thoughts going through his mind. Taking in every delicate feature of your face, Tommy felt his heart quicken as he continued to stare down at you. God you were beautiful, he had been wanting to tell you those very words for years, wanted to ask you out, tell you how he felt. But unlike his old brother who seemed to have endless amounts of confidence when it came to girls, Tommy never found the courage to make a move. Instead he begrudgingly tormented himself, watching all the boys of Small Heath try their luck with you.

" You're doing it again, stop it!" you said squinting your eyes as you looked up to see him still staring down at you. " You're making me nervous"

" What else am I supposed to look at, you're right in front of me " he said with a small sigh. Just ask her you idiot, he thought to himself as he peered at you in the corner of his eye.

" Y/N erm, I was wondering..." he started to say when you grabbed his hand your eyes widening in a panic.

" Shh. Did you hear that?" You said as you looked behind him to the door.

" Its just a window blowing open" he replied as he glanced down at your hand still holding onto his. Throwing his head back Tommy shook his head, frustrated that the moment he had finally found the courage to ask you out you had cut him off. Bringing his eyes back down to look at you, Tommy took a deep breath. If he couldn't say how he felt he would show it. What was the worse that could happen?

" Fuck it" he said as he cupped your cheeks crashing his lips onto yours. For a brief moment you resisted taken by surprise at Tommy's unexpected move until your whole body finally relaxed and you quickly melted into the kiss. There was no technique to it, wet, messy, all tongues and teeth. But as your lips interlocked you felt a flutter of butterflies fill your stomach, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as Tommy enthusiastically pushed you back the few centimeters remaining between you and the wall behind you.

" Owh" you said as your head hit the wall, the thump loud enough for anyone to hear.

" Shit, sorry" Tommy said as a small giggle escaped your mouth at his overly keen display. Pressing your lips back onto his the kiss was smoother, a small whimper leaving your throat as his tongue brushed over yours. Moaning, Tommy's hand dropped from your waist to your leg as his fingers travelled under you skirt grazing over your suspenders. Things were getting heated, very heated.

" Wait, Tommy I've, i'm a.."

" Fuck sorry, I wasn't trying to" Tommy awkwardly said cutting you and himself off. " Wait, you're a Virgin?" he asked with a small smile etched on the corner of his lips his brows slightly raised.

" Why do you look so surprised? " you answered back, your whole face scrunched up in annoyance.

" No nothing. It's just I didn't think you was...you know" he replied unable to formulate his own words.

" Oh and you're not? You really think I believed that ridiculous story you told us all last summer about how you gave Irene five orgasms in ten minutes" you scoffed with a laugh as Tommy's cheeks suddenly went a crimson shade of red, his hands dropping from your waist.

" Jesus...thanks Y/N" Tommy said looking away with a huff unable to physically move away from the embarrassment surrounding him.

" Slightly exaggerated don't you think? " you giggled as Tommy looked back at you, his hands now on his hips.

" You done?" he huffed as you bit your bottom lip trying to hold back the laugh that was seconds away from escaping. As Tommy pressed his lips back onto yours the small giggle unable to contain itself finally broke free.

" Stop it, I'm trying to concentrate" he said smiling into your lips as he continued to kiss you, his hands roaming over the curves of your body when the door suddenly flew open.

" Oi oi, what's going on in here then? " Arthur said grinning at you both as you let go of eachother. Rolling your eyes you walked out the small room pushing past him the box of whisky and leg of ham he was holding. "Get to second base baby brother?" Arthur sniggered as Tommy thumped him in the arm.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy pouted leaving the room and his older brother in fits of laughter. Both barely out the door, your eyes widened as the owner and his dog turned the corner.

" You little bastards. I've seen your faces. I know who you are! You're those trouble making Shelby boys. And look, you've brought your little whore with you, that dead drunk idiot's daughter. How did you petty little thieves make it out of Small Heath, steal a car?"

" Hey! Nobody gets to call her a whore but us" Arthur warned the owner pointing his finger at him as Tommy protectively pushed you behind him. Now in a stand-off between the owner and his drooling dog growling at you, you watched as he unclasped the large metal chain from the dogs collar.

" Go on boy get 'em!" he commanded when Tommy grabbed the leg of ham out the crate in Arthur's arms, launching it in the dog's direction.

" My bloody ham!" Arthur said, furious his dinner had been tossed to the the very dog he felt had betrayed him.

" Run!" Tommy shouted as you all turned around.

" I'm calling the police!"

" Thanks for the whisky old man" Arthur laughed running down the stairs as you and Tommy followed behind him, mentally noting never to follow one of Arthur's ideas again.

Several hours had passed and you Tommy, Arthur and a girl he had picked up along the way were sitting around a campfire in the local woods where Arthur and Tommy's families two vardos were, sipping on the finest whisky you had ever tasted. You couldn't remember the amount of times they had brought you out here to camp, taking you away for a brief moment from the smoke filled air, from the memories of your father that hung over you thicker than any fogged filled skies, a grief you wouldn't have made it through without them. As you sat looking at the flames of the fire mesmerised by their orange glow Tommy glanced over to you, watching the flickering lights from the campfire cast a golden hue on your skin, desperate to be alone with you again, the kiss you shared earlier repeatedly playing out in his head.

" Come on love, let's leave them to it" Arthur said standing up taking his dates hand after noticing his brother staring at you. " See you in the morning" Arthur winked back to Tommy opening the small caravan door, squeezing the girls bum as they both entered. " If the caravan be rocking, don't come a knocking!" Arthur laughed as he shut the door leaving you alone with Tommy.

" Dickhead" Tommy mumbled under his breath as you looked away, biting your bottom lip at how awkward Arthur had suddenly made everything. "It's getting late" you said standing up as you brushed the mud and twigs off your skirt looking back at the other vardo.

" I'll sleep out here" Tommy said as he sat up throwing another log onto the fire.

" You can't sleep out here, you'll freeze to death. Come on, it's not like we've never slept in the same bed" you said only just realising how different this time would be.

" Right, yeh...ok" Tommy said clearing his throat as he stood up.

As you settled into the small bed you watched as Tommy took of his hat and coat, your heart rapidly beating as nerves started to mount in your stomach. Climbing under the covers Tommy turned to face you, his fingers coming up to brush the strands of hair away from your face. Leaning into eachother, both of you turned your head in the same direction, awkwardly banging your foreheads together, resulting in a fit of laughs leaving your lips as Tommy shook his head at you. It was quite possible you were the giggliest girl he had ever met. Relaxing you recomposed yourself as Tommy pressed his lips to yours in a tender embrace. As his hand moved to your lower back, pressing your body closer to his your breath hitched in you throat, nerves now consuming every movement you made. Pulling away Tommy rubbed his thumb over your hip, in an effort to help you relax.

" Let's just lay here together, yeh?" he said taking the pressure away from you, not wanting to rush you into anything you wasn't ready for you as you nodded your head, thankful for his understanding nature. Rolling onto his back Tommy brought you closer into his side as he stroked up and down your arm, happy to finally have you in his arms.

" I nearly forgot" you said as you sat up leaning across him to pick up your coat.

" Happy Birthday" you said pulling out a small gift wrapped in cloth.

" My birthdays not until tomorrow " he chuckled as he sat up.

" It will be in ten minutes" you said as you looked down at your watch, quickly returning your eyes to him pulling out a gold pocket watch from within the delicate fabric.

" Jesus Y/N...you got this for me, how? " he said with a huge grin on his face as he looked to you.

" All those hours pressing clothes. Took me almost a year to be able to afford it"

"Come here" he said bringing you into a hug as you settled back down into the bed together." Thank you" he added as he pressed a kiss to your forehead feeling happier than any win he had ever won at the races.

With his arm securely wrapped around you Tommy couldn't stop the smile on his face as he looked down at the watch in his hand, it was nicest thing he owned and the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. Glancing at your wristwatch, Tommy turned the dials to the right time, when you took it from him turning it back a further five minutes.

" It's five minutes too late" he said watching you press the knob down.

" That way I'll always be on time for you" you giggled handing it back as Tommy chuckled shaking his head.

" Yeh just means I won't be on time for anything" he smiled closing the watch, keeping it tightly clasped in his hand as you nuzzled your head into his chest.

" Tommy?"

" Mm-hm?" he said as his eyes were about to close.

" What do you think we'll be doing this time ten years from now"

" The same thing" he smiled as his thumb rubbed over the curve of your shoulder. "Only naked" he said as he opened one eye looking to you.

" Tommy!" You said, giving him a small punch to the arm. " I'm serious, what do you think we'll be doing?"

" The same thing Y/N" he said with certainty as he tuned his head to face you. " You'll be in my arms every night from now on, that's a promise" he said as he looked lovingly back at you before giving you one last peck to the lips as you both closed your eyes, dreaming of the future and everything coming your way. Even though you were both young with your whole lives ahead of you one thing was for certain, in that moment you had no doubts that you wouldn't spend the rest of your lives together and every night in each others arms.

Ten years later...

Laughs and chatter of people enjoying eachothers company hummed around you as you sat quietly in the corner of the Garrison, the drink in your hand untouched as the night you and Tommy spent together this time ten years ago asleep in each others arms cruelly played out in your head. As a tear fell from your eye you looked up across the room to see the new barmaid sat tightly against Tommy's body, his arm resting around her shoulders. Tonight it wouldn't be you wrapped in his arms, tonight you would sleep alone as regret over decisions you had made weighed down your already broken heart. Standing up from your seat Tommy's eyes quickly darted to you, watching you pull your coat around you as you brushed the tears from your face, leaving the Garrison in a hurry unable to withstand anymore.

Clutching your coat around you from the cold night air you pushed the last tears from your cheeks as the pain in your heart dug further into your chest.

" Y/N" you heard your name being called by the very man you didn't want to see you like this.

"Yes Tommy" you said turning around as he waited at the Garrison door.

" I need you to go finish those papers at the betting shop for tomorrow" he said lighting a cigarette as he stepped a little closer.

" It's nearly midnight..." you replied as you watched him pull out his pocket watch to check the time. Quickly closing it Tommy clutched it tightly in his hand as he looked back at you. For a brief moment that's all he did as if the memories of that night had suddenly come flooding back to him. Maybe they had never left, and Tommy's heart was aching as much of yours, either way you could never tell, for just as quickly as his face softened for those brief few moments his demeanor abruptly changed, a scowl now spread across his face.

" The deadlines tomorrow " he said sharply looking to you as you shivered in the cold, your eyes red from crying.

" Ok Tommy" you said like you always did, at his beck and call night and day, desperately hanging onto the love you still felt for him. Without saying another word you turned on your heel heading for Watery Lane.

" You not going to wish me a happy birthday then?" Tommy called out as he watched you walk away.

" Happy birthday Tommy" you replied, the words catching in your throat, tears streaming down your face as you walked briskly off into the night. So much had changed over the years, so many promises broken, hearts broken along with them. But yet you still held on, hopelessly devoted to the man who promised to hold you in his arms every night.

NEXT PART

Tag list: @cosniffee @jonsncws @powellssaturn @jessimay89 @bruher @riseandreigns4u @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

[adoregojo]

↬ two paths 一 ⦁ nagi.s, reo.m

▶︎ sooooooooooooo... this is some rotting dabble i abandoned, and since Im kind of desperate for any glimpse of motivation, i finished it. and surprise, surprise! its a reo and nagi fic lmaolmao.

▶︎ summary: reo have had a crush on you for a good long two years, and when it's the time to word his love to you, but a obstruct of your part says otherwise. ▶︎ context: nagi is your childhood friend, jealousy, idk if this counts as a love triangle? it's more like your a brick head, some angst (ofc) kind of a plottwist !!gn reader!!

"i like you, I've liked you ever since you stepped into my world, i like everything about you, your smile, your eyes, your gentle hands, your laugh, and most of all your soul that kept me hostage. and i-"

the hang up sound cut him off.

silence fell upon the other side of the phone, only the stillness of the disconnected tone nudging him back to reality. his hold on the phone was a robust one, so stout to the point of a crack to echo. the compound of bitterness, remorse, frustration, all were hefty on the little pinning heart of his.

and with that, you rejected reo, without even saying a word.

and the next days were nothing but a grievous duration, to him the most. as much as reo didn't want to see you for a while, there was no escaping you when you were in the same school, classroom, 一hell, even club. you were in every corner and every ditch, and he'll be a dead lier if he said that your appearance alone wouldn't tiptoe on his heartstrings. reo can stay still ever so firmly and yet you'd still be able to prod him out of his ground as convenient.

reo wanted to be mad at you, to hate you even, but he couldn't, he sincerely couldn't. even when the strain was tense, unbearable, but somehow it also felt pitifully suffocated, graciously. it was you after all, where he felt like a fragile creature under your spell, gosh一 you had reo warped around your finger with cement.

nevertheless, what drove him to the edge was how you operated it. while reo handled it by immersing himself in two blankets and eat ice cream to pacified him to crying himself to sleep. however, you on the other hand was having the time of your life. greeting him good morning to saying goodbyes, even asking him how his day went, did his confession meant that little to you?

reo wondered if you bat an eye, you just denied him after all, but some acknowledgment would've been great. or at least have a talk about it. but instead you acted like it never even happened. the idea of you skipping over his feelings made him sick to his core, it sounded so ill-suited, you above all if not the most considerate, thoughtful person he'd ever met. that's how reo fell for you in the first place.

he wasn't gonna apologies for being selfish, he wanted you to himself. reo kept all his feelings for you bottled up for a good old two years, and he just cannot bare with the fear of someone else stealing you anymore 一something that kept him on trails of restless nights一

maybe that's what herd him away from you, the decedent between the two grew by each day. yet reo loved you too much to live with the consequences of his actions, he can't even look at you without screaming 'why don't you care as much as i do', your sudden unfamiliarity stings him slowly and most of all painfully.

for you to blow him away like a dust that burdens your clothes felt it was caused by a clone, or did he just never knew you like he thought he did?

it ached to see you asking him if he's okay, if you did something wrong to drive him away. and goddamn it hurts seeing you like this, he would rather bang his head to the wall repeatedly than see that anguished expression ever again, and worst of all, reo was the reason for it.

you were heavy on his mind 一as if you weren't already一 the recollection of you standing with your sweaty palms rubbing against each other, a bad habit you do when you get uneasy, he really fucked up to the point where you have became a nervous wreck in his presence. your utter was light, questioning if he even wanted to be your 'friend' anymore.

you weren't the one to blame, reo was the one who stopped talking to you, stopped sitting with you for lunch, he even withdrew the club you two shared 一he didn't even have a liking for it, just joined because you were there一 all that and you still tugged on the last tie of faith reo would walk back into your life with open arms.

but reo didn't want to be your 'friend', not anymore. he wanted to be the one to protect you, to understand you, he wanted to be your man, your other half more anything, for him to be your everything just like you are his. you can't just make heaven a living place on earth then walk away when he was on knees for you.

he left you at halt, saying that he needed some time. you never knew time for what because he walked away before letting you word anything out. so now, his hands buried deep in his pockets, he felt heavy, mind and heart on a race track. he felt awful, the image of you standing in confusion, lost on what to do will hunt him to his grave. he tried running his fingers throughout his violet lockes, he was petty, selfish, and reo knew he could've worded it better instead of this.

from the corner of his eye, he could spot a bunch of flowers fluttering under the rush of air, hit by the sunlight to outshine any other plants besides. he could've think of how beautiful they looked, but no, the first thing that popped out his mind was the image of how bliss you'll be seeing them flourish just the way you liked it.

reo contemplating his actions, the pure, straightforward out of his heart gates confession and how far it had driven him. how beyond it had tossed what you two had. something blended with bittersweetness squeezed within his chest, envisioning of your smile made it a challenge to breathe.

so he keeps on strolling, trying to straighten himself until a familiar tall white headed form comes to his view. ranking ahead of a vending machine, nagi was too busy searching for what it appears to be a coin to even notice reo.

nagi was your friend, the one who watched the two of you downfall in silence. he didn't say a thing about it, didn't get involved and much rather concentrate on his phone-games. but there was something else, nagi have been your friend for what reo have been told since childhood. it was something anyone can figure out in the first glance, nagi doesn't leave your side for what it seems like eternally, he remained as your sidekick for decades. he witnessed all your phases, your growth. and he wasn't planning on departure his spot. it was a rare sight to see nagi not glued to your side, did the sky spare him? did his desperation reaches the empyrean?

"hey," reo announced his presence, nagi's bored eyes soaring over him. so the purple head flipped a coin to his direction, nagi tamed it halfway, staring at the single coin then back at his friend. "need another one." he uttered flatly as ever, so reo push out a sigh as he tossed him another one. the snowy head mummers a low thanks.

"listen, i need to tell you something." reo enunciates after a moment of hesitation, caressing the back of his neck as his lilac hues kept on swirling around. his friend just humming in acknowledgment, supporting his chin with his hand while still examining over the endless optionals of drinks.

"it's about yn."

nagi rattled momentarily, your name was like a cold water on his senses.

well, that was easy. reo thought. "i did something a few weeks ago, and i think i fucked up everything." he says, undertone. as if he was admitting an unforgivable crime.

"what did you do?" there was something off about nagi's tone, his grip on the coins was merciless. but his face still seemed boarded, nonchalantly but oddly firmed for some reason.

"i kind of admitted my feelings to them..."

nagi's daze expression shattered in an instant, not anything crazy, but his eyes grew obscure, casing over reo like a giant blacked cloud.

for nagi to carry that kind of aura was eccentric, that face would only arise every time an unnamed got a little too close to you. at that time, reo convinced himself that he was imagining that, because nagi out of all people stood his ground when it comes to dating, he'd always say the same thing 'dating sounds like a hassle'. and sometimes something wild like 'don't need someone else around, I already have yn.' reo wasn't a backstabber, he only confessed to you because he lived under the roof that his friend wasn't even able to handle anything intrigued with romance.

"i just, been liking them for ages. and i found the strength to finally say it to them, they-"

"hung up on you." the snowy head finished his line, which made reo eyes widen a bit.

he shifted awkwardly, "haha, did they tell you? how embarrassing.." he tried laughing it off, trying to avoid nagi's gaze for his sake.

"they didn't." nagi spoke quickly, voice strained than usual.

"oh? so how did you?.."

"because i did it. i was the one who hanged up."

there was a moment of lull, where not even the waves of wind could sooth over the tension. reo stood still, waiting for nagi to stick out his tongue playfully and shout 'gotcha!', praying for whoever might've fell upon to this to be a sick prank.

"you what?" he doesn't even realize he spoke before the words had already slipped.

nagi sigh tiredly, his fingers still at halt to press the numbers of his wanted drink, he didn't like focusing on two thing at the same time. "i thought you'd figure it out already. man, do i have to explain myself now? what a hassle." he let out softly.

"nagi, you-"

reo doesn't get get the chance to speak, to think, before nagi cut him off swiftly handling the conversation, like he knew this was coming. "listen, reo. i like being your friend, but i can't let you have yn." his words kept hurtling reo, it all poured down at his like a sucker punch.

"i don't understand."

"it's not that hard, i liked them first, i found them first. so they're basically mine."

oh, oh.

it all made sense now. reo felt like an idiot, why is he seeing this now? this is why you were clueless, because you didn't answer it in the first place. why, why was he so rushed to say it and not letting what he thought was you speak first.

every time when nagi would drink from the same bottle of yours, when he would twirl around a piece of your hair randomly, when his head would rest on your shoulder in every ride home, when he would shut down every time reo rambled about you, he just got it. why was he just connecting the puzzle? was his feelings for you so blinding that he couldn't see this?

reo wanted to say something, in fact things. but the lump in his throat clogs his attempts to protests. leaving his mouth agape.

and it was like nagi couldn't get a hold of concern about this, in fact he found waiting for his drinks to make it way down more interesting. yet he sensed a blazing breeze from his friend's direction, it was hard not to when they were on the same burden as an elephant. so the snowy head swiftly retorted, "plus, you already are the standard, right? I'm pretty sure you can find someone else, it'll be better if you found one quicker."

after that, nagi bent over to grab what was supposed to be his lemon tea alongside your favourite one. boredom eyes doubled-dyed at the cans, mostly at yours before blowing out a vague breath一did he just scoff?

"why you.."

"sorry, don't like sharing."

and with that, nagi walked away. head empty with the only maintenance thing was a picture of you as he handed you your favourite flavour with the money that wasn't even his. leaving reo dumbfounding at his back, he didn't get a say on this, like this wasn't even meant for him.

this wasn't a stage he can purchase to himself, not even to earn a role. he felt like a third-wheel in you and nagi's love tale.

it loathes him, brings him to edge even. but most of all, reo now wanted you more than anything.

[littlecello]

Lazarus: An Autopsy

So. I just got back home, and though I have to get up at stupid o'clock for work tomorrow morning, I am sitting down at my computer to give you all as much of a detailed write-up of the table read as I can. Please bear in mind these are my and Fern's opinions personal opinions, so if you disagree with anything said here, that's totally fine! This is all coming from the perspective of people who have been in the fandom since 2012 and 2009 respectively, and both of us love the show very dearly.

Now, without further ado - here is a summary and discussion of the table-read of the pilot episode of Lazarus. The detailed write-up is under the cut, but I want to share this shaky train-doodle I banged out on the way home to give shape to my own feelings:

Set Up

This was a dramatic table-read, meaning actors were sat on stage, taking the roles of the main and side characters, plus one narrator who read out the scene-set ups in the script. This was a complete reading of the pilot-episode as it would have aired on TV, complete with songs playing over the speakers as they appeared in the show (off the top of my head - Another Brick In The Wall, Somewhere Over The Rainbow (Ukulele Version), Life on Mars (yes they went there), Merry Christmas Everybody, and several more). It's important to note that this was not performed by the original actors; rather, they brought in a troupe of actors associated with the BFI, called the BFI Players. Unfortunately they aren't credited on the BFI website and there were no printed programme notes, so I can't tell you their names. Notably, though, Ashley Pharoah (co-writer of LoM) was present; after the table-read, there was a short-ish Q&A session.

Lazarus Pilot: A Summary

We start in 2024, with a car chase. Sam Tyler, now DCI of Internal Affairs of Greater Manchester Police, is hot on the pursuit of a Constable who we later learn has raped multiple women while on duty. Notably, Sam is driving exactly the way Gene would, ignoring regulations, nearly running over pedestrians and a cyclist. Sam apprehends the PC on the campus of Manchester University, which is filmed by the assembled students of the lecture that's been interrupted (a quote from the script: "heteronormative queer trans students") - that video subsequently goes viral as another example of police violence. It's clear that the PC is guilty of his crime, but he's let off, and most of CID pretty much turns against Sam. Sam's DI, incidentally, is biromantic and asexual, which is also turned into a joke with Sam making some acephobic remarks.

The next day, Sam finds the rapist PC dead - hanging from a lamppost as though he's died by suicide. CCTV reveals that about an hour before his death, a car idled in front of his home, and the PC had hurled abuse at said car. The driver cannot be seen. That same car is seen at a carehome in Didsbury, idling there just like it did in front of that house... and that car is also confronted, by none other than a geriatric Gene Hunt.

Here is where we start to realise that this Sam is different. It seems he never went back to 1973. He never had that accident, he never met Gene Hunt - he is, however, married to Annie Cartwright (only until half of the episode though, at which point she says they need to get a divorce). A lot of anachronisms going on here, but those will get explained a little later in the episode. Sam also starts having visions - first of a Space Hopper that keeps passing him by, later Clangers from the Planet of the Clangers appear to him. He keeps remembering lines we've heard in Life on Mars ("I never stitched anyone up who didn't deserve it", "If you can feel things you are alive, but it's when you can't feel things that you know you aren't alive", etc). Eventually, he goes to visit Gene in the care home and invites him for a drive, to see if that will jog any memories.

Gene, however, has other ideas - he eventually forces Sam to stop by the roadside, insisting "I'm going back! I'm going BACK!" The two start arguing, and then it devolves into a physical fight, which pushes them into the road... at which point, they are both his by a car. A red Audi Quattro, in fact, and just as everything fades to black, we see someone with white cowboy boots and a white leather jacket get out of the car...

1977. Sam wakes up utterly hungover in the Cortina, next to Gene who's driving. These are their 70s selves. They get to the station, where they find out that they've both been suspended due to Gene assaulting the Superintendent ("I didn't assault him, I strategically placed him... in a bin."). The department has been disbanded and taken over by none other than Derek Litton. Sam and Gene leave, with Sam driving home... to his wife Annie. On his way, he realises that he must have dreamt about 2024, and obviously doesn't understand what is going on. He talks to Annie about it, who becomes upset that he's starting to talk about all the future stuff again. It becomes clear that the case that Sam was investigating in 2024 (the dead rapist PC) is mirrored in 1977. And, crucially, near the end of the episode we realise that Gene also has memories of what we saw happen in 2024... and just at the end, when Annie is on her own, she suddenly sees the video footage mentioned at the very top (the fight at the MU) playing on the TV, and realises that Sam was telling the truth.

The Good

Let me start with the really enjoyable part of this afternoon - the actors who performed the script for us. They all did a brilliant job, especially Sam's actor. I'm pretty sure he must have studied up on John Simm's performance, because he got Sam's tone and cadence so closely to the original that I could really believe he was the character. The production was done well too, with the songs being played over the speaker system; plus, the narrator was absolutely brilliant at setting the scene, reading the descriptive bits of the script with loads of character and humour. The other actors were great too (Litton got a fantastic impression). The only one I wasn't convinced by was Gene's actor, because he gave his Manc accent a very theatric drawl that sometimes made him sound like a pirate. Definitely didn't come close to Philip Glenister's brilliant delivery of his lines.

Speaking of lines, there were some genuinely funny jokes in this. The whole scene with Litton was hilarious, and some of the modern-day jokes landed quite well too (Sam's DI pulls an "ok boomer" on him, to which he responds "that's Gen X I'll have you know").

And of course, I have to mention that it was SO LOVELY to meet a bunch of you in person!!!! It was lovely to chat, and thank you especially to @bisexualroger and friends who came and said hello, you genuinely made my day 🥹 The Bad

Sigh. Buckle up.

This table-reading really cemented for me what I've been saying for several years: The writing in Life on Mars is very mediocre. What made the show so amazing and special was the fact that the crew and actors took that material and elevated it to the heights we know and love. If you take that away... All of its shortcomings become very glaring.

This was even more obvious with Lazarus. Although we have to remember that this was a pilot, which means it was basically a sales pitch to studios and as such they tried to cram as much exciting stuff into it as possible, on the whole it just came across as very confused and embarrassingly self-referential. The characters often (but not always) came across as caricatures of themselves. The script often pointed out the race/ethnicity of characters in ways that felt very unnecessary and strange (more on that later). Most of the dialogue that took place in 2024 was incredibly stilted (again, more on that in a little bit). Most crucially, although it's clear that Lazarus was trying to bring Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes together to tie them up in a neat little bow, it just felt far too all over the place, even for a set-up episode (Lazarus as a whole was planned to be two series with 6 episodes each, like LoM). The Ugly

Basically, this show was supposed to be commentary on the present-day commentary between the public and the police... written from the perspective of two Old White Men(tm) with an unhealthy amount of nostalgia for the past who seem to think of the police as literal guardian angel, which is why they made Gene an actual angel (this is confirmed by what Ashley told us the ending of Lazarus would have been, which I will write up tomorrow because this would be too much for this post).

So, what does that mean in practice? It means that everything that was set in 2024 was an absolute shitshow. There were jokes about "wokeness" in every scene - things such as gender identities, diversity, ethnic food, vegan food, recycling, climate activism and more were only ever played for laughs, with a clear emphasis that everything was better in the "good old days". Especially all the jokes about gender and sexuality made me so angry, seeing as the fandom who has kept the show alive for the last 10 years is overwhelmingly queer.

Worse than that, this show would have been absolutely choc-full of copaganda. We already learn in the pilot that the entire philosophy is that "bad cops" are simply "rotten apples" that need to be removed from the force, which can only happen from the inside (this is Sam's role as DCI of Internal Affairs). And also, the public are just way too mean to cops, for no reason whatsoever - this is very literally shown in a scene in 2024 where a male PC touches a drunk woman's arm in sympathy and she yells at him "DON'T TOUCH ME", whereas in a mirrored scene in 1977 we see a PC giving a woman advice, who seems to be extremely grateful for it and even squeezes his hand for it. Which, if you know ANYTHING about what was going in Manchester at the time, in the wake of the Yorkshire Ripper and the associated police failings, is laughable at best, and an insult at worst.

Furthermore, during the Q&A, Ashley Pharoah unintentionally told on himself and Matthew Graham. I'm paraphrasing, but he basically said that when they both realised during the watchalong on twitter back in 2021 there still were a lot of fans of the show, that's when they felt compelled to properly give Lazarus a go. It very much came across as him saying "we loved the attention and wanted more of it, oh and also we thought we had something to say about the state of affairs regarding the police". Which, as I have laid out above, frankly is a sick joke. After everything that's happened - the protests in 2020, the way police forces in the whole country handled the Sarah Everard case, the fact that the current Chief Superintendent of GMP is an old conservative guy - the fact that Matt and Ash had the audacity to shop a show like Lazarus around to be picked up for TV is... astonishing. The confidence of white men, eh?

In Conclusion

Both Fern and I are very, extremely glad that Lazarus was not, and never will be made into a TV show. We are very glad that we get to keep Sam, Gene, Annie and all the others as they are. And we are also very glad that we went to this table-read, since we can now stop wondering what could have been. It's done and dusted. And, funnily enough, this has invigorated my fandom fire for LoM. I now want to create art of the characters I've come to know and love, to reinforce who they are to me. They are our characters now, Ashley and Matt. You don't get to play with them anymore. You don't get to twist them and put them through the wringer.

Tl;Dr

[cuoredimuschio]

wip weekend 🎶

tagged by the wondrously lovely @thefreakandthehair, thank you lex!!! 💜💜💜💜 (give me a moment to be selfish and encourage everyone reading this to send lex some wip weekend asks so i can enjoy more snippets of her incredible upcoming fics!!)

Rules:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

the wips:

a stout heart (steddie big bang)

line of apsides

wound up

just the three of us (you, me, and this brick wall between us)

snippet from a stout heart below the cut:

Across from him, Kas attacks his portion with perhaps even more ruthless enthusiasm and vigor; he hunches—much like the snarling gargoyles atop the royal temple—over his food and shoves handful after handful of nectar fruits and almonds into his mouth, with no room left between to breathe. The comparisons to a gorthokian boar suddenly ring that much truer. It’s a miracle, frankly, he hasn’t yet choked. Or maybe it’s the opposite; Steve’s dilemma would resolve itself rather tidily if he were to simply suffocate with a hunk of bread lodged in his throat.

But his luck continues on its downward trend: Kas announces the completion of his meal with a raucous belch and dusts off his hands before stretching them toward the sky; the nectar berries have left sordid purple stains on his fingertips. His eyes slide shut as he holds the pose, his body spread taunt, his shoulders pressed down, his head tilted back. It would be so easy, too easy, to draw a clean slit across the pale column of his neck. Such incautious vulnerability, in front of a stranger, an enemy. How has he possibly survived this long when he is so thoughtless toward his own safety? Or is it arrogance? A lethal delusion of immortality imbued by the legends?

Perhaps Steve’s luck isn’t quite as poor as it appears.

Kas’ arms drift back down to his sides, and his chin lowers, lashes fluttering.

Steve hastily shunts his eyes off to the dirt and finishes off his final bite. Crude as it may be, he wipes his mouth upon his sleeve cuff. His mother isn’t here to chastise him, after all. “How did you know my name?”

It ought to have been the first question he asked, had he the capacity to form a single thought at the time. He’s no stranger to the social scene in Hawkins, but he strongly doubts Kas had been frequenting the same galas and functions he had.

The fox rouses from her nook beneath the tree. An echo of her unwilling benefactor, she extends her paws out, toes flexing, and bows her head. Her eyes squinch shut too as she presses back into the stretch, her tail rising, flicking up over her back. Unhurried, she traipses along the wall of false fire, nearly camouflaged against the flickering flames.

“Because I know you, Steven Joseph Harrington.” A dagger lands in his stomach with every syllable, spilling bile, blood, and bitter curiosity. “Believe it or not, we’ve met before.”

-----

not sure who's been tagged yet so we just gonna do a few (non-obligatory, as always): @kkpwnall, @starryeyedjanai, @patchworkgargoyle, @fragilecapric0rnn

[psychotic4ghost]

Strength Together

TW: mentions of death, mild language WC: 1.2k

Masterlist Chapter 1 // Chapter 3

The air was even colder than in Texas as the plane door opened. A thin blanket of snow coated the earth beneath her feet. 

“I forgot how cold England was just before winter. I’m not ready for the snow storms either.” 

“You’re from Leeds, correct?” Price asked as he loaded their bags into a military grade hummer. 

“Yeah, haven’t been back since I was 20. Didn’t plan to, honestly.”

“Well, luckily for you, we’re heading for Credenhill in Hereford. Nowhere near ya hometown.  Shall we?” He asked as he opened the passenger door for her. She happily climbed in, slipping off her shoes so she could have her feet on the seat for the ride. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

The ride was only a few short hours that passed like nothing as the two continued to learn about each other. Price had learned of her love for baking in her spare time and ensured her that there would be a decent oven on base for her to use if she pleased. 

“You’ll have more free time on base than you did at the hospital. We’re in between missions right now so as long as my boys don’t get too banged up, you should be able to enjoy yourself.” 

“I really appreciate this offer, but why do you need a doctor if you aren’t going on missions?” She asked, genuinely. 

“We have some big missions coming up and…well…we lost someone very important to us recently and I want to put a stop to the pain as much as I can. These are my boys. This squad isn’t just a military asset, this is a family.” Price stared almost emptily into the road before him as he drove. 

It had only been a few months from what Price had told her back on the plane. He never said someone died till now though, only referring to it as ‘the incident’. Ophelia figured it was a very hard subject to talk about, losing someone he seemed to view as family, she knew the feeling all too well. 

“Are you trained with a gun?” Price asked, clearly trying to change the subject as quickly as he could. 

“No. I took an oath. I only save lives, not take them. I won’t be going against my oath, I hope that won’t be an issue Captain.” Ophelia narrowed her eyes at the older man, hoping he wouldn’t ask her to wield such a thing. 

“We’ll have guards at your clinic doors then. Probably your quarters too. Don’t worry, they won’t pry.” Price answered nonchalantly. “There’s a chance Makarov’s people will come for you since you’re what can keep their number one threat alive, us.” 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Another hour had passed before the large hummer was pulled up to two tall, chain link fence gates. Ophelia watched and listened as Price gave short banter with one of the guards stationed at the gate before it was pried open by two men, letting them onto the base. 

The base was nothing special, red brick walls, spray paint all over the brick in arrows and other symbols she didn’t recognize but figured were for training purposes. 

“This is home. She ain’t pretty but it’s one of the only places we can call safe. Our barracks are on the second floor, don’t let the outside fool you, she’s rather nice on the inside.” Price gave her a small wink before hopping out of the hummer and making his way to her side to let her out. 

Just as she hopped out of the hummer with Price’s help, a young man with a darker complexion, a deep denim blue ball cap with a British flag, and a cheeky grin greeted them. He was rather attractive for a man in the military; Ophelia never did like the military or the men, always seemed so rough.

His smile was contagious as Ophelia found herself giving him an equally warm smile before she noticed a rather scary looking man behind him. The ghoulish looking man didn’t walk towards her with the first. Instead he stayed by the door of the base, leaning on the door frame, watching. 

He was incredibly tall, built like a brick house and he wore a freakishly real looking half skull faceplate over the eyes of an almost all black balaclava that had several white lines painted down his chin. He held a nonchalant pose, arms crossed over his chest, ankles crossed over as he leaned against the door frame. His eyes scanned the scene before him, taking in the petite and fragile looking girl Price had just brought to their home. 

“I’m Kyle, you can call me Gaz though.” The man who was approaching her spoke as he stopped in front of her with his hand out for her to shake. 

“Oh, hi!” Startled as she was eyeing the mysterious man, she quickly jut her hand out to shake Gaz’s hand. “I’m Dr. Burns. Ophelia, you can call me Ophelia.” a small smile played at her lips as she withdrew her hand from his. 

“Cap’ tells us you’ll be stayin’ on base, making sure we don’t harm ourselves too much.” 

“That’s correct.” her smile continued to fill her features. 

“I’ll try to not create too much work for ya.” He gave her a quick wink before turning his body towards the scary man in the doorway. “That’s Simon Riley. Don’t call him that though, he goes by Ghost. You’ll see why eventually. Dude is freaky.” Gaz informed with a belly laugh as though he wasn’t actually as tough as he looked. 

“Not a fan of the name.” Ophelia said shyly. 

“He’s a big softy.” Price added to the conversation as he slung one of her duffles as well as his own over his shoulders. “Gaz, grab her other bags.” 

“Oh, let me help.” Ophelia took a step towards the back of the hummer for one of her bags before Gaz placed a delicate hand on her shoulder. 

“Just follow Price in, I got this, little lady.” He tossed another charming smile her way before lifting the last three of her bags onto his shoulders like it was nothing. Which it probably was nothing by the looks of it as his shirt tightened around his biceps. 

Ophelia followed Price inside, watching the scary man as he watched her back. The closer she got, the more details she took in about him. His eyes were a honey sort of brown, the skull faceplate looked more and more real as she moved closer. His stance never changed even as they passed him in the doorway. His head and eyes continued to follow her though, even as Price clapped his hand on Ghost’s shoulder as if to say hi.

“Simon, c’mon.” Price said as they fully passed through the double doors of the base. Didn’t Gaz  just say to not call him Simon?

Ghost followed behind the two, but he kept his distance, still never speaking. 

“Is the skull part real?” Ophelia asked in the smallest voice she could muster, hoping he was far enough behind them that he wouldn’t hear her ask. 

Price laughed louder than she would have liked before Ghost answered with a very deep and gruff ‘yes’. “He’s joking right?” Ophelia quickly asked, a little louder this time since she figured it wouldn’t matter her volume. 

“No ma’am. Though I’m not gonna tell you who’s skull it is.” Another laugh pulled from his chest as he answered. A shiver ran down Ophelia’s spine, she truly hoped they were both fucking with her. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

<- Chapter 1 // Chapter 3 -> Story Masterlist // Main Masterlist

[futureplayboibunnie]

‘’WICKED GAMES PT.4’’

Dr Strange x fem! reader

-it felt like i was writing a script for a movie with the dialogue in this. i need to write angst more often fr. i’m so excited to work on more chapters but this one is already a fave hehe xx

Casino nights weren't a mystery to you- playing the game was a skill that came with an undescribable ease and that only seemed to beam when you were a vipress at poker and blackjack. You weren't worried about Stephen either, the fact he actually brought a tux along with him was delightfully surprising. It was a completely normal thing to envision him in a suit- or better yet loosening up his bow tie...or making him wrap that bow tie around your wrists and make you struggle against-

You mentally kicked yourself as you smoothed the santin of your dress, locking eyes with the reflection of yourself in the mirror to ignore the direction of the way your thoughts were heading. Hm. The dress was too tight, it felt like you were suffocating your waist and tits but at least the oozing sex appeal would be somewhat useful. You kept a semi-automatic handgun on you if things went sour- you especially hated how cliché thigh holsters were but it was a tragic necessity. Having Stephen as your plus one would give you a moodicum of protection at least, you were expecting him to use his magic if everything fucked up but knowing him he'd rather die in a ditch than raise his finger to hurt a fly. You looked…fine? Your ass looked absolutely fantastic, you couldn't lie- you appeared rich and that was a much needed plus.

Enough scrutiny, you had to leave for a spectacular night with criminals playing Texas Hold'em.

When you creaked your bedroom door open, you stole a glance at Stephen who was already cleaned up and at his wits ends waiting for you to finish getting all dressed up. He was drinking the whiskey that you tried to stash for yourself, it was as if alcohol was the only constant you had with him. As your eyes raked up, you absolutely hated how tall he was. His presence obliterated everything else in the vacinity until he was the only thing you could focus on. As attractive as he may be, he was such a royal pain in the ass. When you said 'right’ he went 'left’ and when you said 'leave', he stayed. But your pride won out.

Stephen was just twiddling his thumbs like a bored housewife on a hot summers day, fucking hell you were taking your time and he would rather watch paint dry than wait around for you to finish whatever makeup and hairstyle your mind was set on. Stephen's ears pricked up when he heard the creak of the door, swivelling his head around he saw you in the doorway, nimble fingers putting liquid gold in your earlobes. His iced eyes were intent scanning your figure: swanlike neck and collarbone, smooth skin akin to liquid gold under the shitty ambient light, hair tumbling down like a waterfall and a banging body underneath that dress.

His eyes were tearing your clothes apart, he was foaming at the mouth like a savage dog with rabies. Instead of walking you into a lions den, he could just take that whiskey you both drank like water and take it as a body shot before watching the look of violent pleasure etched on your face when-

‘’I told you about the gawking, stop doing that.’’ You walked around him, heels clacking in a steady rhythm that echoed in the space of his head.

‘’I'm not, you just took a lifetime. Plus, you stole my whiskey. I'm not gawking, I'm glaring.’’

His mind was still racing with the thought of what he did the night previous. When he came home with blood tainting his marred fingers….

The guilded and blaring lights of the casino machines were slicing your eyes, the rich expensive tang of perfume and cologne hit your senses like a blinding brick wall and you had to tamper down the urge to roll your eyes at such a glaring need for attention. You were feeling a little out of your league and Stephen caught onto it. His eyes flickered to his side to see you and he bit the bullet and offered you his arm and to his consternation, you took it. You started walking into the function and the bulk of Stephen's bicep bewildered you- no it didn't, of course he was built like this, built in a way that would make even the Greek God's jealous. You had never experience the unexpected pleasure of being this close to Stephen which was weird considering you were practically living together. He didn't smell like the obnoxious scents the men around you harboured- his scent was of pine, spice and a dark wood- intensely real, authentic and incredibly heady.

‘’Wow, I can practically smell the entitlement.’’ You raised a brow when you murmured.

‘’Say that too loud and they'll have your ass for breakfast.’’ He taunted. To your dismay, he was right.

‘’I prefer my ass uneaten.’’ You were deadly serious and it made Stephen splutter.

Your eyes scanned the room and it immediately set to the glazed planes of the dancefloor where a small jazz trio were playing for a smattering of couples swaying to the sightless invisible music. Before you could think, you dragged Stephen along with you like a dog on a leash.

‘’What are you-?’’

‘’Shut up and follow me.’’ You gritted.

It was like you were showing a toddler how to ride a trike. Your grip on his hand was ferocious when you trailed him along with you to the dancefloor. You took his hands and placed them on your waist, he almost wanted to gasp with the sheer gall and certainty of your actions. What was it with him and unreliable, spontanious women? You immediately leaned in and positioned your head on his shoulder, enough to find the source of that intoxicating heady scent that was so irrevocably Stephen. Your lips were so fucking close to his ear and he felt an unnerving shiver course through his body, and with that you moved yourself in flow with the tender smooth jazz. What is it about jazz that made every single atmosphere so fucking sexy?

‘’What's your play?’’ Stephen questioned lowly and your heart started hammering against your chest already. God, he really made you that pathetic. The question could be applied to anything going on here: what was your play with the mafia? And what was your play with Stephen?

‘’I'm buying us some time. I don't want to charge in guns ablazing infront of these pricks, we need to lay low and scope before we swim with the sharks.’’

‘’I definitely see the Natasha Romanoff influence.’’ He grumbled in your ear with a boyish grin and you bit your lip to conceal your laugh.

Stephen's grip on you was loosening and it sent alarm bells ringing through your body.

‘’Hold me tighter.’’ You whispered in his ear like a siren.

He was hypnotised, his cock concurred.

Stephen knew you would be the death of him. The death of his self control, his professionalism and any sense of preservation he thought he had. He was a very sure man and he had never been sure of anything else when he said he wanted you. Being this close to you confirmed such a fact but when your hands flew to his hair when he was dancing with you, he was fucking done for and for that reason he held onto you tighter. You fit his body perfectly, tailor made. Like you were deliberately antagonising him. A purposeful act disguised as carefree flirtation.

‘’You're play is decent at best but what are you doing?’’ He said softly but it was the kind of nonchalant question that required an answer

‘’What do you mean Stephen?’’ You asked impassively. He retracted his face from near your ear to stare at you right in the eyes.

The way his eyes immediately locked with yours was slightly unsettling, it was as if you were going under intense inspection and analysing. Stephen was so closed off, his face had this remarkable ability to never reveal a single passing thought that was crowding his buzzing brain. You were both challenging each other with mere gazes, if this was what he got out of you already you were embarrassed to find out how you'd feel after he- Your eyes immediately dropped to his lips.

‘’What is it?’’ You repeated softer this time, breath warm and flowery with that little hit of the whiskey back home. That whiskey

‘’Are you going to get yourself hurt this time around?’’ Stephen finally responded with a huff. You rolled your eyes but you knew deep down in your heart that you were being incredibly reckless with yourself, it was only natural that people would get somewhat defensive.

‘'I can take care of myself.'’ You were a broken record at this point, but it was the only excuse you had that you truely believed in.

‘’Say that again and I swear to God.’’ Stephen scolded at you.

You took a breath before responding to his patronising threat, thinking carefully about what to say next.

‘’You're being very noble, Stephen.’’ You complimented him instead of berating his undermining comments about your work. Only an asshole wouldn't take it with shit eating pride. "Whatever for?’’

Stephen didn't know what to say, a good half of him was aching to be honest with you but you were making it so damn difficult.

He cocked his head and squinted his eyes before saying, ‘’The whiskey?’’

You stifled a knowing grin and instead gave him an agreeable smirk. The whiskey. You normally didn't like whiskey but the one Stephen picked out was simply incredible, it only proved he had impeccable taste. What was jarring was that it was dirt cheap, it made you wonder if he was actually the kind of man he was hellbent on getting across to others. On some days you have fleeting visions of you and Stephen sipping and drinking the dusk away on the balcony of the Sanctum, all expensive and shit- just how Stephen seems to live his life. And then on others, it seemed that the sheer crapiness of the motel, the whiskey was the perfect constant- homely. The only place where you had any kind of connection. It took you a while to realise in all this idle thinking you were staring blankly at his face.

‘’I'm resilient.’’ You stated, unknowing of what else to ease such a heavy mind.

‘’Then don't make me be.’’ Stephen was sincere and what made your heart dampen was that it was etched all over his face.

‘’Then tell me you trust me.’’

‘’I do. I do trust you.’’

It felt like the world was spinning the wrong way when he said those words, those fated words.

‘’I haven't given you any reason to be and I'm sorry about that.’’ You threaded your hands through his hair again and he had to stifle his urge to still his body at such a touch he longed for. It made him feel pathetic that you could get him in such a state so easily.

It felt...romantic in a way. It felt sad in a way too. Dancing with you to a distant sound of jazz and strings, pretending to be like the smattering of couples on the marble floor when in reality none of it was real. Maybe he did want to dance with you. Like any other type of boring banal vanilla couple but Stephen felt his troubled waters surge already. He could break you. And he doesn't want to be responsible for that when the day does inevitably come. Was he okay with hypocrisy? He had no idea.

You cut him off from his unnerving thoughts. ‘’Sometimes I worry about you Stephen. You drink all day, you're up all night. I-.’’ You breathed, your face twinged with anxiety if you looked close enough- and Stephen was very close. He didn't know how to talk anymore. Your face went from compassionate to hard and cold within a matter of mere seconds and that's when you leaned into his collar to inhale that frustrating intoxicating scent. Stephen's nose was nestled in your hair- you smelled fresh, sweet with heavy spiced layers. A confusing combination for an equally confusing woman.

‘’Feds found the guy that cut me up yesterday.’’ You said coolly.

‘’They did?’’ Stephen's tone was bitter. And he knew exactly why.

‘’His hands were cut off.’’ You leaned back to assess his face, eyes flicking from one feature to another. ‘’And he was beaten to death.’’

If he lied to you, there was no trust between you. You knew exactly what he did. But you didn't know why for.

‘’Were they.’’

‘’They found markings that they didn't understand. From what I recall, Eldreitch markings.’’

Shit. You didn't sound pissed. Or angry. Or any sort of primitive emotion. You looked lost, like a deer in the headlights. Stephen was desperate to tell you what he did for your honour, he wanted to recall the hours he spent cleaning the blood on his hands. He couldn't remember the last time he threw a punch let alone kill someone with his fists. It was worth it though. He'd do it over and over and over for you.

Humans as a species want a lot of things: money, sex, fame. In every heart though, there beats one true ineffable desire. One that shapes every thought and action. And in that moment, Stephen's was vengeance. Sharp, cruel, blood-thristy.

‘’Is this why you snuck out last night?’’ Your eyes were searching his, desperate for an answer that you knew he wouldn't give you the privilege of offering. ‘’ You think I'm that stupid that I didn't notice the bruises on your knuckles?’’ You were sad. That was all.

‘’He hurt you.’’ Stephen said thickly. He was furious just being reminded of it. He was alive with it, he was pulsating with it. Your gaze was weary as you took him in.

The hammering of your heart stopped in its tracks and your mind drew to a crisp white blank.

‘’So you're playing white knight? Protecting my honour?’’Your tone turned biting, the conversation took a U-turn and headed straight to harsh and brutal.

It took so much strength to not take him by the collar and kiss the mouth off of him. You hated being a damsel in distress, a princess in the highest tower but through all of these revelations you couldn't deny that it made you feel safe. Stephen made you feel safe when all of your life was different paths and shitroads of danger and pain. Everyone suspected that he didn't have the ability to harm any sort of life, let alone take away a grown man's... His grasp on you was even tighter than before.

‘’I did this for myself.’’ Stephen tried to reign you in but he was sure he was making it worse. ‘’I've been…angry. I'm furious, all the time. And I'm comfortable with it. I want to be angry, I wanted a reason to be angry. A reason to get my hands bloody, a reason to use these fucking hands that left me a broken man for months. I didn't really care what I was angry for but when that asshole touched you, hurt you.. and made you bleed- that wasn't the reason I was looking for, anything but that actually. I did this for myself because the idea of someone else touching you makes me feel hollow. So yeah, I cut his fucking hands off. I haven't had the pleasure and formality of finding a healthy outlet when all I can think about is you.’’

Stephen was spilling himself like blood pouring from a wound, quickly and uncontrollably. His heart was willing out. You left him as exposed and bare from the first time he saw you; your eyes were wide with certain deep set ferocity when his words finally soaked up.

Yet, you didn't know what to say. The air hummed with the silence you weren't filling.

[assassinshadowgirl]

Final Fantasy 16 AU Draft - 2

Note: Just a small section of the FF16 AU draft

“Clive, is that…?” Dion pointed to a white fluffy creature with a round thingy dangling above its head, floating near the hunting board.

“My…What a rare sight.” Clive said. “They even had a Moogle here.”

“Didn’t you once told me that written in your father’s bestiary; It is said they live deep in the forest. And never reveal themselves to humans?” Dion asked.

“True. Still, this is the first time I’ve actually seen one in flesh.”

Dion wanted to take a closer look. He took Clive by the arm and dragged him along. The Moogle made an adorable “Kupo” sound when it noticed two curious young men approaching it.

“It’s so cute.” Dion remarked. He had the urge to reach out and touched its soft white fur yet hesitated as he feared he might end up terrifying the fluffy creature. However, Clive being the bold and daring, poked the little round thing above its head.

“KUPO!” It shrieked.

Dion jumped back in surprise. “Clive.”

“Kupo! Kupo! (Don’t touch my pom-pom! Or face the wrath of Nektar the Bold!)”

“Nektar, you say? Clive.” He introduced himself then to gestured to his friend. “Dion.”

The Moogle was instantly flabbergasted by Clive’s response. “Kupo?! (You understand Moogle tongue!?)”

Dion casts Clive an astounded gaze. “You know what it’s saying?”  

“S---So it would seem.” Even Clive himself was astonished by this new finding. He wondered why. This is his very first time encountering a real Moogle rather than in a book. Furthermore, he strangely can understand what the creature was talking despite never learning its language.

“Kupo! (Finally!)” Nektar was utterly relieved. “Kupo! Kupo! Kupo! (I’ve been trying to talk to these people ever since the wind carried me here, but none of them understand a word I say! I’ve been banging my pom-pom against a brick wall!)”

“That sounds painful.” Clive felt sorry for Nektar.

“Kupo! Kupo! Kupo! (But now you’re here, my pom-pom’s safe at last! You can hear me! You can actually hear me!)” Nektar was over the moon that it did a little dance of joy.

“My apology for interruption but can you translate for me? I’m curious.” Dion requested. Clive told him everything the Moogle was making a fuss about.

Dion chuckled after hearing the story. “Well, at least Nektar won’t feel so left out anymore with you around.”

That’s when Clive let out a heavy sigh. “That’s where the issue is; I still don’t know whether we should stay here.” He shot a worried gaze at Dion. “We both are fugitives and the Imperials are searching for us. Founder knows what will happen to these people if they find out we are taking refuges here.”

Dion knew Clive spoke the fact. Moreover, there are Bearers taking shelter here as well. If the Imperials do manage to locate them, these innocents will be slaughtered in cold blood. By the command of that woman: Annabella. Clive’s mother also his stepmother.

“So---” Dion said. “What do you suggest we should do?”

Clive was silent briefly then answered back, “We focused on heading to Phoenix Gate first then we--- he paused. “---then we think about it. Will it be alright for you?”

Dion nodded. “I’m fine with it. I’m just concerned for you.”

“I will be fine.” Clive placed a reassured hand on Dion’s hand. “I need to know the truth. Something which I suppressed deep down in my memories.”  

[bubbleonice]

Samhain special:

Choose a number between 1-5 and read your card below for a message from your ancestor.

Choose a number between 6-10 and read cards below for a message from your destined soulmate.

1: King of swords reversed:

You may feel that others are not treating you fairly and that you are being taken for granted. You may be trying to overturn an unfair policy in work or in the family and feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall. You may feel that you cannot express yourself effectively or that no one will listen. You may need to scream louder. Maybe you are not asking the right questions or talking to the relative people.

Lay down your arms and open your heart. Speak the truth but leave the brutal part out of it. The King of Swords reversed can warn of corruption or abuse of power. In this case, you may want to watch other people's actions…or your own.

2: The chariot reversed: When The Chariot reverses forward momentum ceases and the wheels no longer turn. This may indicate that for the moment life and progress seems to have slowed down or stopped altogether. You may feel that you will never advance in your career or that your relationship is stuck in a rut. You may be riding for a fall.

it means that fear of making the wrong decision can rob you of feeling like your life and destiny are in your control. This card will often accompany a feeling that life is pulling you in two opposite directions. Fear of committing to a choice can lead to a sense of being stuck. Be courageous.

3: 10 of wands: The Ten of Wands often appears when you are entering the final stages of a project, task or job. The end is in sight but you are now entering the agonising home stretch when energy levels are down and enthusiasm for the project has been beaten out of you. Instead of the workload lightening, it has become heavier. There are so many things that need to be sorted and arranged, especially those boring parts you would rather suck razor blades than do. These tasks are usually ones you just have to do yourself, because involving others at this stage would create further delays as you would have to spend time instructing them on what you need done, how, where and when. Close to burnout, you may be suffering from information overload now and are not able to think straight.

Self-Care is essential at this stage for you are spreading yourself too thin and are quite frazzled by it all. Outwardly you may be keeping up a pretence of being strong and enthusiastic but inside you could feel beaten and exhausted. You certainly cannot keep going on in this manner.

4: 9 of pentacles: The Nine of Pentacles Tarot Card symbolizes self-reliance, financial stability, luxury, and personal accomplishment. It signifies enjoying the fruits of one’s labor and independence in different aspects of life.

Regardless of what the present looks like, the desires of your heart are not out of your reach. All of your aspirations are right around the corner.

5: 10 of swords: When the Ten of Swords appears in a reading, it is not a great omen. Number ten of this suit represents being backstabbed, hitting rock bottom, and experiencing failure and betrayal. The situation that is impending will only be temporary and you have the strength you need to be able to weather the storm. It may be difficult, but it won’t be impossible, and you will get through it!

——————————————————————————————

6: EGO: I let my Pride get in the way of our connection.

Shadow side: You made me realize my flaws

I’m too afraid to talk to you.

7: Habits: I don’t know if I will ever change

Commitment: I want you to be a part of my future

Now is not the time.

8: Daydreaming: I am always longing for you

New Chapter: I am trying to move on

Wait!

9: Missed Opportunity: I didn’t act when I should have

Third Party: There were others that got in the way of us being together

I worry about us a lot.

10: Unfinished buisness: we still have things to resolve and discuss.

Unsatisfied: I wasn’t happy the way things were going

Be more selfish!

Hope you enjoy❤️🙏🏻

[thatone16216]

Portgas D. Ace x fem reader

Chapter 1

"JESUS CHRIST, [NAME], WOULD YOU TURN THAT FUCKING ALARM OFF? I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP IN A LITTLE BEFORE I HAVE TO CHAUFFEUR YOUR ASS TO SCHOOL!"

It's my brother that woke me up, rather than my alarm, which I did not hear. As I stumble out of bed, I look up to see my older brother glaring at me from the doorway. I blink at him in confusion, my brain still half asleep. "School?" I ask. Kid sighs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah. Whitebeard got you that scholarship, remember?" I nod, because now that I'm waking up a bit, I do remember. 

I try to shove my brother out of my room, which is quite difficult, because he is 6'9" and built like a brick wall. "Hey! Hey! What're you pushing me for?" He complains. "I need privacy to get dressed, dumbass!" I bite back. Kid finally moves, standing in the hall just outside my door. "Remember, there's a uniform. Please wear it?"I roll my eyes and sigh. "Fine," I grumble. Only because Kid using his manners is as rare as him... well... using his manners.

I slam my door in his face and look at the uniform hanging on my door in distaste. None of my other schools ever had uniforms, and I was glad of it once I had to pick up my new one. I slip on the skirt and button up the white collared shirt. Shrugging the blazer on, I turn and examine myself in the mirror on my closet door. There's a crest sewn on it right above my heart that reads Grand Line Academy. I decide that the outfit looks a bit too preppy for me, so I open my dresser and pair it with a pair of fishnet tights and heeled doc marten boots. I tease the skirt up a little higher than what's probably appropriate, throw black diamond studs in all of my ear piercings, and finally put on the necklace Kid gave me for my birthday. 

I inspect my outfit for any flaws before finally making my way downstairs, satisfied. Technically I'm not breaking the dress code. I checked. There's nothing against fishnets.As I head into the kitchen, I see my brother's "gang" congregating in the small room. Killer is cooking breakfast, Heat is reading the news while drinking coffee, and Wire is shoveling bacon and eggs into his mouth. I'm about to ask where my brother is when a loud bang and "FUCK" sounds from the floor below. The four of us all turn to the door as we hear Kid's footsteps thunder up the stairs. He bursts through the door, red hair wilder than normal and face covered in grease. I hold back a laugh while looking at him as he starts yelling. "I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THAT DAMN CAR!" He yells.

He's been trying to restore an old 1964 Chevy Chevelle - he named her Victoria - but she's just as stubborn as he is. He finally gets one thing working and she fights him on something else.He plops down in his usual chair at the table and I walk over and plant a kiss on his forehead. He grumbles and pulls me into a half hug, placing a kiss on my temple. I sit down in my spot as Killer comes with the rest of the food and places it in front of us. I look around the table at the guys laughing, chatting, and in Kid's case, getting smacked by Killer. I laugh at the scene of my brother yelling at Killer for hitting him while Killer scolds him for trying to take more than his fair share of bacon. The room is warm and comfortable, and I think with a pang of sadness that we haven't always had a life like this. 

Me and my brother had a rough childhood. Our alcoholic father died of liver failure when we were young kids, and our mother dumped us into foster care and skipped town with her loser boyfriend. The two of us were left to fend for ourselves until we met Killer, Heat, and Wire. They were my brother's age, and the four of them took care of each other and me. When they aged out, I was left on my own.

Being seven years younger than them, I was eleven when Kid was booted to the streets. For the next four years, I was on my own until my brother was finally deemed fit to adopt me. During that time I got into a lot of trouble legally and expelled from three different schools. Kid and the others had been working for a man who, in the criminal underworld, was known as Whitebeard. Once they had enough money saved up, they bought an old mechanics shop with a car junkyard and fixed it up, converting the top half into a loft for us to live in. Whitebeard, after learning why Kid was so keen on making money quickly, helped with the whole thing, with the understanding that Kid would pay him back as needed when the time comes. He helped Kid to be determined a fit legal guardian, got me a scholarship to a fancy school, and helped me out of the foster system. 

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as the clock above the kitchen door chimes 7:00. We all clear our plates into the sink and I grab my bag before following my brother downstairs. I give Killer, Wire, and Heat hugs goodbye before following Kid to his truck. As we drive to school, Kid interrupts our tradition of screaming along to the heavy metal playing on the radio to give me a pep talk.

"Look, [Name]." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I know how you get, so I'm going to make this quick, but please, please, don't get in trouble at this school. Whitebeard had to pull many strings to get this place to accept you, given your track record, and I'm not sure any other schools will take you."I begin to speak, but he silences me. "I'm not done. These people, they aren't like us. They're a bunch of kids living off Daddy's money. They haven't struggled like we have. That being said, they're going to view you as a target. Don't let them get under your skin." I shoot him a look and he snorts. "Yeah, I am aware that I of all people am telling you not to start a fight. But seriously, don't. The parents and members of the school board are looking for a reason to expel you. Don't give them one."

We pull into the school drop off and I turn to Kid. He looks worried, which is a new face for him. I've hardly ever seen him look this way, but it is always aimed at me. I give him a smile and a peck on the cheek. "Don't worry, Eustass. I'll stay out of trouble." He smirks at me and pecks my cheek in return. "Killer will pick you up. I love you and don't be stupid." I slide out of the car. "I love you too, and right back atcha."The last thing I see is his smirk as I slam the door and walk toward the building.

[perpetual-fool]

Could you just uhh make things not so hard, pls?

I stumbled upon something that seems to help: analyzing what was actually stated. Like, I'm getting lost trying to make sense of this guy reviewing a product. He's saying some bullshit like "this is not the kind of thing you'd use for X". And at the least, a generous interpretation would be "this isn't something I would want to use for X (because reasons)" but without the reasons. So even taken in good faith it's dishonest. But he didn't say "I wouldn't use it for X" he said "you wouldn't use it for X" (approximately). So he's phrasing his judgment like it's an objective fact, to the effect of tricking you into accepting his judgment as your own. (And then "this is gonna happen" statements are just overwrites, fiat.)

But it's everything, it's so much. Like, when he says "let's get this out of the box", it would be so simple if it was just "I am going to take this out of the box now". But that's not what he said, he pulled "us" into it. What does that mean? 'We' are opening the box, you are doing this with me, you have consented and are complicit in opening the box?

And I know my thinking is itself contaminated. Like, last night I was thinking that thinking of things as having 'purpose' is not useful. Sort of like with evolution, often people share a story like 'this animal adapted to this condition' but that's not how it works. Evolution just does random shit constantly, and mutations happen at conception (approximately, don't get pedantic about this pls, I'm drunk and I don't know a lot about this). If something was 'adapted' to a condition then it already had the trait, it's not like Plague Inc. or something where evolution is choosing options it thinks are going to be more successful. But like, "thing was made for this purpose" is not a useful way of thinking about it. Maybe it's good for that thing, maybe it's not. Maybe it's good for other things. Maybe there's a better option for doing that thing even though the designer did in fact intend it to be used for that thing. And most of the time I have no way to know what the designer actually intended. And I find myself wondering what a thing was meant for, rather than what a thing is good for. I'm contaminated.

It's just difficult and tedious and there's no reprieve.

Feels strangely approachable though. Just trying to relax means backsliding all the way to where I started, but it's solvable. Like, once I can tell when someone is trying to pass off a subjective judgment as an objective fact (e.g. 'company makes "a lot" of products') then that attack won't work on me anymore. And the next time I'll get a little farther, and it won't be so difficult. Sort of like a 'Souls' game, the first few times you get slaughtered, but as you learn all the moves it becomes trivial. Even Bed of Chaos. especially Bed of Chaos. That thing telegraphs extremely blatantly, you just have to actually look at the boss instead of the ground at your feet.

So yeah, I will keep banging my head against this wall until one by one the bricks crumble to dust, I guess? It'd be nice to know what fucking game I'm playing though. And in the meantime, ow.

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 4TH HORROR WATCH

No one will save you (2023)

Farm house big one in the middle of nowhere

Scenic white girl plain flower dress

Ring of dead grass

Drives past age appropriate white guy waves, he ignores he to

Mailed gift via post in a literal one main street town

Sitting on moms grave

Oh not on property - is a small grave yard

Continues to wave awkwardly at funeral goers?

Now we are hiding from

Maudes cops parents?

Mailman is very bad at his job

No dialogue

Old time house old time clothes old time music

Writing letters

Kitchen phone legit avocado corded

Immediately hung up as it rung

Maude is a BFF

Literal moo moo gown like vintage

Guilt and shame in the letters in her hiding from towns people

Unsettling music shift

Loud bang middle of the night

Oh shizz front door is open

Bells?

Footsteps?

If only the house wasn't a hundred years old a creaky door would be out of the question

Tiny person ran past the ?? Behind a semi transparent wall like a toddler gait

Was some clicking like echo locations

Running through the house chaotically

It's doing a good job with the tension because she keeps hiding so we cant see anything

But it's also extremely childlike and comical because it's humorously chaotically running through the house making silly noises and it's like 3.5feet high

Under the bed it's little feets are basically hands

Curling iron will save you

This genius saw the thing bail out of the second story window closed the door

And then...

I guess this makes sense if you are treating an alien like a wild boar that got loose in your home and not a sentient being with space travel capabilities

Electricity goes haywire again

As obvs the thing (probably more than one) are still on the property

No excuse for why she doesn't have a cell phone except for she's clearly cosplaying the fifties and she lives in the middle of no where so no service

Finally get a semi close up creature is very claigrey alien

Two extra long pointer fingers

Boom door smack

This one is taller

Ooo telekinesis that's difficult

Ooo broke her little model doll house, undoubtedly the only thing holding her sanity up in isolation

Lifting she's off the ground it's pulling her towards and shard of furniture through the head that's right you busted her little dolls

Down it goes, one and done

Hard to recover from a steak through a big squishy head

Ooo shock stayed there till morning

It's still down .not decaying apparently

She got glass in her foot

All electronics are off water is running she's goes back inside as car doesn't start

MY GIRL SIS she's living in hard denial

If you don't walk into town and bury that body outside somewhere

Mam the corpse is still in the home okay she biked at least

Ohh poor mr mail mana truck flipped on the road

Neighbor ( relative for the country probably few nlocks to a mile away) house is turned up too

Small town she's not talking to anyone on the way

Town hates her

Ooo lady spit on her wife of cop

She leaves police station

Literally the defiyot conflict avoidant my child would rather face an alien alone than talk to the towns people and face her guikt

I'm sure she killed someone on accident or something small town drunk driving?? Drugs??

She just goes and cries against a brick wall

Okay finally got something a greyhound bus

Still hat and sunglasses deep shame

Imagine being more afraid to face what you have done. Whatever it was than a literal alien abduction

Oh shizz it's a body snatcher thing i would say why her but 1 her property was marked 2 she ganked one of them

I'm sorry is this the fucking you tube/tick tock music guy??

2 body snatched

Solid uh Zombie adjacent body twiches

SIS you are running away from the bus with the people to be alone in the woods

Other real people were on the bus not just the two body snatched why didn't the driver radio for help?

A church

Locked?????????????

The doors of the church are always open??

She's literally locked out of heaven for her crimes same church near that tiny ass grave yard

It's maude

She did in fact kill maude

It was ten years ago and how by what method

Shes a track star shes been running miles at this point

Some clouds are chasing her

Back to the ranstacked neighbors

They're all standing up in a group and looking up directly at the sun/clouds with one hand up

Now the neighbor boy looks at her

You alerted the group babes

Why back to the house

The alien is decaying now but it's also clear there's a parasitic component

The towns people have something logged in their throat and something slimey came out of the aliens throat

Possibly suggesting that alien could have been human or another species and the parasitic thing turns anything it finds into a gray

Peak white person move following the slime trail outside

No dice apparently so house preparations

Nails and fire home alone style

It's night now and that didn't do much because

Well telekinesis dis

Nice shit of aliens retrieving the body

Almost akin to a funeral procession with invisible paul bearers

There's a theme here of her not talking

I'm emphasizing again that this is a completely dialogue-less film there are sound effects and she screams but no words

the aliens not having a clear communication that's auditory - seriously it's not like oh their language is clicks and grunts

They do not seem to have a language at all auditory range

And the towns people who got body snatched having something in their throats

Another alien (literally chilling curiously at her) disarmed her scissors but then took her little photo from the shelf

Now she mad again

That's the girl she killed her bff n her in the photo

Another alien a little one attacked her

A light tractor beam thing

Anyways i was saying themes around shame silence and being unable to speak to ask for help

Okay she skewered the little one gorl gorl girl

These things have telekinesis but no body strength and they are really mushy i think you should just hand to hand combat girl

You winning they got no muscle mass sis

Woah

How funking big is this lanky mother fucker outside

They are all sizes apparently

Toddler size, baby size, human size, house size, i should say height because they all still have gawky skinny limbs and mushy bodies

This guy is literally doing air traffic control to get this ship to land

I'm sorry this is hilarious perfect beat of scary and silly

Wait did the house sized one just like fall out like have a seizure

They aren't smart

Well the basketball player (if they never ate food) height one seemed like chill he just sat down stared at her until she screamed then he threw a desk but he stole her scissors and he could have stabbed her with them then he just looked at her picture like everyone else is attacking and he's visting???

The light tractor beams keep coming and taking the dead bodies

She offed the big one cause it wasn't very bright and got it's fool self stuck in the vehicle and she lit in on fire

Here comes the nice visting one

He opens the door cautiously and now He's looking at her photos

Babes this one hasn't done anything to you yet don't be racist

I mean besides a b and e but you did kill their homie

She tries to attack from behind but hes not the one flicks a finger and she flies through the wall

Their eyes are like star dust

They remodeling her house???

Tractor beam got her

Note this beam is red

I think all other beams have been blue

Whup alien floats up on ceiling towards her and yes it's a parasitic type thing that the thing vomited and floated into her mouth it was cute like a sea anemone they made a choice to make all these creatures a bit silly

This is the lead rapey version of a thing forcibly going into a woman's mouth as i have ever seen in a horror film

She woke up and everything is fine and her house is back to normal

And maude is alive!!!

And she speaks

I'm sorry maude

Now she puts her whole fist inside her mouth and pulls out the parasite i guess it wasn't latched yet

In addition to being the least rapey she pulled it back out of her own accord bonus points for that

It's also obviously jinn type so people wouldn't want to pull it out

The tractor beam is taking that thing

Nope it's cloning her with the dna pull from the sea anemone and now it's after her damn they make bodies quick

It stabbed her twice in the gutt

Ooo but she slit it's throat with her little safety cut knife (we already saw her tool up as best she could)

And shes now vicariously killed herself

So is this penance for maude complete?

Nope here come this tree sized motherfucker DAMN can sis get a break

Nope they zapped her up into the ship

Insert greg from into the garden wall quote " you gave beautiful eyes"

The one that was visiting in her house touched her head in the ship

It's a bunch of them there though

Oh shizz the flash back

What happened to maude??

Argument mauge pushes her

Oooo shit she bashed maude with a rock FUCK that's pretty dark

They are young but not NEARLY young enough to have this poor emotional regulation skills jeeebUS

This her later trying to write maude letters for a decade ???

Now she's reaching out to her younger self to forgive herself

Looks like they might have pupils after all

The curious ones actually do have language and they are discussing her memories

The ship appears semi sentient and they are talking to it there goes that humor again the ship literally dropped her back out the sky with a thud onto asphalt when it's literally grass every where but that one street

Aliens literally said we ain't taking no child murder into our ranks and dipped??

After an EMDR session???

She has a more modern look now as if she's no longer trapped in the time warp of the past

What about the rest of the town

Oh creepy synched waving / house clean up

At the neighbors now she's dancing with the neighbor boy

Everyone got stepforded?

Dance number

No still kinda old timey dress

Okay now the aliens leave after giving everyone forcible EMDR sessions like an episode of doom patrol this was just that season finale of doom patrol

Humor delightfully weird 3.7 stars 🌟🌟🌟⭐

Tomorrow is talk to me by popular vote

[rebouks]

Previous | Next

Transcript:

Oscar: Sorry, Pa. I was-… Alton: I get it. Is it awful to wish everyone would bugger off so I can take a nap? Oscar: [snorts] Alton: I’m glad you’re here, son… How’re you managing? Oscar: I’m alright. Alton: C’mon, you’re not ruining anything just ‘cause it’s my birthday. I’ve had enough of the damn things. Oscar: [sighs] I’m tired, depressed, and I miss Cookie. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel like shit… I hate that everyone’s banging their head against a brick wall with me, that every conversation turns into an intervention. I hate being asked how I am with such.. pity. It makes me feel pathetic. Alton: My bad. Oscar: It’s okay. Alton: I think you ought to try and figure out why you find it easier to deal with anger being thrown your way rather than sympathy, or concern… I’m sure a professional could help. Oscar: Probably… Alton: Definitely. Oscar: Why don’t you give me shit anymore? Alton: Did you prefer it when I did? Oscar: Not really. Though, maybe it was easier. Alton: I don’t think it’ll help, that’s all. Older n’ wiser, right? Oscar: Older at least. Alton: [chuckles] Cheeky git. Oscar: Would you ask mum if she’ll check on Courtney for me on Monday? Alton: Sure. Oscar: Not for my sake or anything… I know she has Cole, but she’ll miss feeling like she’s part of a family. It’s my fault she won’t have that anymore.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Thank you for taking my request!! I loved it and if you’re willing to do another one for Kaz, could you write Kaz headcanons about his crush aka reader getting injured on a heist because of an accidentally mishap by Jesper? Thank you either way!!

Oops?, Kaz Brekker

Injured s/o might be my favorite trope. Got a bit carried away while writing. Sorry in advance.

Headcanons, genderneutral s/o

Tw: Angst, descriptions of a fight, being smashed into a wall, blood, injuries, stabwound, concussion….basically the whole shebang. Shooting, killing, breaking someone’s bones, Jesper did an oops, passing out, worried Kaz (that’s new), throwing up, Kaz touches hands with reader. That seems like enough, don’t you think?

- This job wouldn’t even be that difficult or complicated. All you had to do, was to steal a key for a heist that would occur at the same evening. It was a small pickpocket job. One that Kaz could’ve easily done if he hadn’t been busy helping Wylan get hold to a bunch of bombs.

- So there you stood, with Jesper, in the middle of a busy street. The people were swarming around you, but it would only make the job of stealing easier. Jesper’s job had been to distract the victim as you slid past him, grabbing the key from his pocket. Jesper had even gotten lined from Kaz to ensure that he wouldn’t screw up.

- “There he is.” Jesper had announced, pointing towards a man with an awfully obvious mustache, walking towards the pair of you. You quickly separated from Jesper before the target would see you. Just then, you fellow crow put on his disguise as a lost boy.

- “Excuse me,” he had started, walking up to the confused man. “but do you happen to know where the docks are? I fear I’ve gotten myself lost a bit.”

- You rolled your eyes at Jesper’s attempt of appearing lost. If you had not known him, you would’ve perhaps believed him, but right now, it was just stupid to look at.

- You found yourself placed on the other side of the street, behind the man. Without attracting too much attention to yourself, you walked along with the crowd, now approaching his back. With a quick hand, you fished something out of his pockets, walking away just as quick as you had approached. Your steps not wavering.

- But just then, a second voice was heard; “That does not belong to you, girl.”

- You did not stop your pace, only speeding up a bit, but not too much, just in case the speech had not been directed towards you.

- But it had been.

- You see….Jesper had been talking to the wrong person. It was another man with a big mustache, but not the one he should’ve been looking for. You however, had found the right man, but now, there was no distraction.

- Suddenly, you got grabbed by your arm, being dragged into a side-alley. Quickly, you feigned a confused expression, turning towards the man, pretending to speak another language.

- “It doesn’t matter what language you speak; you have something that belongs to me.” At those words, he held up the key you were looking for.

- “This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” Looking down towards your hand, you found a blunt piece of metal, the same weight and size as a key, but not so much the shape of one. It had been a decoy.

- “Who sent you, girl?” He question, taking a threatening step towards you. You didn’t move one step. Instead, you fiddled with the metal, trying to find a sharp piece to attack him with, but when you found none, disappointment struck you.

- “I asked you a question, dear.” With that, you dropped the metal, punching the man in his face. It worked, but only for a minute. He wavered but came to his senses as quickly as it went.

- From behind you, someone pinned your arms, throwing you towards the nearest wall. The man had been expecting this and had even gotten back-up. And Jesper was still talking to a random civilian, probably wondering why you haven’t shown up yet.

- The impact with the wall caused the air to leave your lungs, the back of your head hitting the concrete. A loud ringing had filled your ears, leaving you incapable of hearing anything else at the moment. But you were smart. Rolling away quickly, you pulled the man down to the floor.

- Climbing over him, you grabbed one of the knives Inej had so kindly gifted you once. Without hesitation, you plunged it into his neck, ensuring he wouldn’t attack you anymore.

- You hadn’t been given time to get back up. A sharp pain suddenly filled your side, the feeling as if a cut brick had been thrown against it.

- “You’re not the only one with knives on you.” The target growled, now kneeling down to come face to face with you. Your vision became blurry. Whether that was because of your earlier impact with the wall or the blood seeping out from your body, you didn’t know.

- “I don’t need knives.” You managed to get out, grabbing the man’s hand that held onto the dagger, pushing his pinky back, effectively breaking it.

- While he fell back in pain, you crawled away from the scene, trying to stay hidden. With your current state, defense was something that would only slow more over time. From corner of your eye, you saw the target getting back up, but he fell down the moment both feet touched the ground, a loud bang following his fall.

- “Saints, Kaz is never going to live this one down.” A familiar voice mumbled, quickly nearing you. “You stay awake or we’ll both be in big trouble, okay?”

- No answer came out of you. The spinning in your head made you nauseous beyond belief. You had already started to lean down, feeling the vomit coming up. The last thing you remembered were Jesper’s hands holding your hair back while you threw the nausea out.

- You had woken up in your own room a few hours later. Your waist had been covered in bandages while semi-wet towel rested beside your head, which had probably fallen off during your sleep. Nina’s perfume hung in the air, letting you knew she had been here not too long ago.

- As your eyes tried focusing on the room, a sting hit your side, causing you to turn over and grunt in annoyance.

- “Don’t move. We just changed the bandages.”

- The voice made you freeze, halting your movements to your side, instead laying back down. You had expected Nina or Inej to be here, maybe even Jesper, but not Kaz.

- “And don’t think too much or try to talk. You’ve suffered a heavy concussion.” If your eyes could’ve allowed you to roll them, you would have. But it hurt like hell at the moment, so you deemed it wise to not use them too much.

- “Would you rather I fall back asleep?” You mumbled teasingly, yet the sound of sleep did come off as appealing. Passing out was not like sleeping at all. You felt exhausted, but you could not pass an opportunity to annoy Kaz.

- “That would be wise, yes.” Was his simple response. You slowly turned your head towards his voice, scanning your surroundings at his side of the room.

- “Tough luck, Brekker.” He did not respond to that comment. You took it as a sign to continue; “Did Jesper get the key?”

- “Along with three weeks of cleaning duty, yes.”

- When silence overtook the room once again, he slowly reached for your hand, placing his on top of yours before linking your thumbs together. The entire action left you frozen, scared to move even the slightest bit.

- “Go to sleep. You need to recover. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Was all he said, before slumping back in his seat on the chair beside you, his hand not once straying for yours.

- The need to annoy him had now completely subsided and had instead been replaced with the annoying feeling of bubbles in your stomach. That tickling feeling that was nowhere near funny, but could only make you stop your train of thought.

- Perhaps it was best for you to close your eyes. You mission had succeeded and judging on Kaz’ comments, so had the heist at the same evening. You were too tired to ask how long you were out and whether the heist succeeded or not. You started to obey Kaz’s command, closing your eyes, focusing on the feeling of Kaz’s hand on yours, no gloves or piece of fabric separating you. It was just you and him. And for now, that was enough.