#i would love to unionize a workplace someday

[little-cereal-draws]

I don't want to derail OP's post but unionizing also works for other things besides work. (It wouldn't be called unionizing in that case but it's a similar thing)

I'm paying $10,000 a year for housing at my college. Our power kept going out and the school was not helpful in fixing it. They would send someone to fix it (which took hours to days) and then it would immediately break again. This went on for five and a half months. The longest it took someone to come and fix it was five days. Most of our rooms didn't have windows either so we were living in complete darkness for almost a week. I was filing multiple maintenance reports a week, sometimes just hours after they "fixed it," explained repeatedly to the maintenance workers that something bigger than the breaker was wrong, emailed my student councilor, emailed my RA, and emailed the head of student housing all to no avail.

Finally, a worker told me that the problem was coming from the room next to ours. I didn't believe that so I went over to talk to them. They were having similar problems and were told it was coming from our room. They also were frustrated with the school's lack of response so I said we should get our housing deposits back. Why should we pay thousands of dollars to live in the dark and have our problems dismissed?

So I emailed the head of housing again giving her an ultimatum; saying that either they actually fix the problem or give us our deposits back (which would cost the school about $78,000. It isn't really that much tho because the annual tuition for one student is about $62,000 and they have over 12,000 students. So it would come out to slightly over one kid dropping out for them). All six of us signed off on it. I got a response saying that the school couldn't give any of our money back, but the problem was permanently fixed within a week.

So it doesn't always have to be in the workplace but talking to people around you when you have a problem and standing together is much more affective than trying to fight by yourself

I’m so hyped about the sag-aftra & wga strikes, while I slowly but surely work to organize my own workplace. It can be so, so hard for us to keep up the momentum but every time something like this happens and draws attention, it’s like a new wave of hope. Supporting and drawing attention to this strike is also setting the tone for other industries on the cusp of their own unionizing, so keep spreading the support!

[hookedonapirate]

Book Excerpt - Hard to Handle

A/N: This is an excerpt from A Helping Hand revamp. And yes, I changed the title from Every Piece of You because I completely fell in love with this title for the this version. I’m so excited to finish this so you can see the finished product, but I still have a long way to go, even though I’m not writing it from scratch.

In this version, Killian is Owen and Milah is Naomi. Gold is obviously Wesley and this excerpt is in Owen’s POV. This is not from AHH, this is another scene I added.

Chapter Ten

I remember a time when Saturday was my favorite day of the week. I didn’t have to work on Saturday, which meant I could sleep in until I felt like dragging my lazy ass out of bed. Most of the time, I didn’t have plans until later that day, but they usually involved meeting up with my friends at the bar where my day got even better. I'd hang out with them, drink a few beers and occasionally meet a beautiful woman I’d take back to my place before the night ended. 

That all changed when I met Naomi, of course. Saturday was still my favorite day of the week, I just spent it differently. I even met her on a Saturday when she took a train to Chicago from Michigan to meet up with a friend and I was heading home from visiting my brother in Albany for a week where he lived prior to moving into the apartment building we currently reside.

Naomi and I had an instant connection and we would meet at the Union Station every Saturday, we would spend the entire day together, go shopping, out to eat, go to a comedy show or sometimes we would just stay in my bed all day until she had to return home that night. Eventually, I began questioning why we could only spend time together on Saturdays. She worked Monday through Friday and went to her favorite church on Sundays, but every time I suggested we hang out on a weeknight or on Sunday after she got out of church, she’d always have some excuse. And talking on the phone was out of the question; she said she didn’t like talking on the phone or even through video chat, only texting. 

I questioned her situation constantly, but by the end of the day, I always filed the thoughts to the back of my mind. I was convinced she was the one I would spend the rest of my life with, so I just had to accept our semi-long distant relationship and the fact that she was a very busy person. I knew if I wanted to keep seeing her, I would have to deal with not being able to spend as much time with her as I would’ve preferred. Sometimes, being without her drove me crazy though, and I would miss her so badly, it was painful. Every waking moment I wasn’t with her, she was on my mind. 

So when she told me she had to skip one of our Saturdays because she had to pick up an extra shift at the bank, I was dreading it. I think this was the first Saturday I’ve ever dreaded before. I dreaded the Saturday after that when she had to skip that one as well. Then the next. One week without her was torture, but one month just became too much for me to handle.

So, on the third Saturday,  since she couldn’t visit me because she had to work again, I decided to pay her a surprise visit. I didn’t know where exactly she lived, she never told me, but I knew which bank she worked at. So, my plan was to show up at her work, spend the night at her place and go to church with her in the morning. I'm not much of a churchgoer, never have been, but I really wanted to spend more time with her, so I would put on a dress shirt and tie and go for her. She'd left her home town many times to visit me in Chicago, so spending a day at church was the least I could do.

I was so excited to see her. 

I rented a car and drove to Detroit, rather than take the train. On the way to her workplace, I picked up a beautiful bouquet of Lilies, her favorite type of flower. When I walked into the bank, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating; I was so nervous for some reason, even though I knew I shouldn’t have been. She was my girlfriend, and we’d been seeing each other for four months at the time, so I had no reason to be that nervous. 

There were no customers, so I walked up to the front desk and was promptly greeted by a red-head, who I learned from her nametag was Tori. Naomi was helping a customer in the drive-through, so I asked Tori if she could give the flowers to her. Once she took the bouquet from me, I immediately became invisible. All of Naomi’s coworkers were too busy swooning over the flowers to pay any attention to me.

I was very confused. I thought they’d be curious about me and ask all kinds of questions, like if I was the elusive Owen they heard so much about.

“Sadey, look what Naomi got!” Tori shrieked excitedly at the blonde behind the counter as Naomi finished up with the customer.

“Awe, her hubby got you flowers,” Sadey commented. “That’s so sweet!”

I started to smile, but then Sadey’s words echoed in my ears, and the beginning of my smile instantly faded. 

Her hubby?

Though I'd often imagined marrying Naomi and having children with her someday, I wasn’t naive enough to think that wedding bells were in the near future for us. 

Tori frowned. “Gary never gets me flowers, not even on Valentine’s Day, and we've been married for ten years. Naomi, you're so lucky to have a husband like Wesley.”

Wesley?

Who the fuck is Wesley?

My head spun with a million questions as Naomi turned around and beamed when Tori gave her the flowers. “Wes is great, isn't he?” 

What the fuck?

I wasn’t naïve enough to think we’d get married soon, but apparently I was naive enough to not figure out she had a husband?

The gears were turning in my head, and I thought back to all the signs that should’ve alerted me to the fact that Naomi was married. How she never wanted me to come over to her house or even come to Detroit to visit her, how she could only spend time with me on Saturdays and had to return home before Sunday, how she never wanted to talk on the phone. 

It all made so much sense.

Naomi searched inside the bouquet for a card, but there wasn’t one, since I came here to deliver the flowers personally. But maybe I should’ve, seeing as she hasn’t even noticed my presence yet.

“Wes had these delivered?”

“Didn’t he leave a note?”

“No, he didn’t,”  she said, glancing up from the bouquet. 

Once our eyes finally met, I could see the blood drain from her face.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

Tori finally noticed I was still standing there, and returned to the front desk. “Is there something I can help you with?” she asked politely.

As I stared at Naomi, my face was hard and my jaw was tight. “Nope, I just came to deliver the flowers. That’s all,” I answered through gritted teeth without tearing my eyes from hers. “There’s nothing else I could possibly need here.”

Tori and Sadey gave me odd looks as I turned and walked out the door.

I’ll never forget the deer in headlights look on Naomi’s face that day. 

Before I witnessed it with my own two eyes, I never knew one look could hold so many emotions—surprise, anxiety, fear, panic, regret, anger, shame, guilt, humiliation, grief. I could understand the obvious emotions she felt—I would feel the same way if I got caught with my pants down. Hell, I got caught with my pants down, literally—but what gutted me the most was the grief evident in her features. It was the same look my brother and I had when our mother died. I wasn’t dead though, so why would Naomi look at me like that? There could only be one reason why she felt grief. I may not have been dead, but I knew in that moment, our relationship was.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Eve’s Coven

Here are the vampires I mentioned earlier, along with updated bios for some old ones. A lot of stuff is WIP so keep that in mind:

Allen Lecarde: A drifter vampire and hopeless romantic, he fell in love with Rika Amano and turned her without her consent, ruining their blossoming relationship. Miserable and remorseful, he wandered about the city until Eve’s coven took him in. His power is WIP.

Amon: The oldest and most powerful vampire and the leader of the coven. Eve calls him a close personal friend, and he has been alive for thousands of years. Unbeknownst to all, he is also the father of Nadia, Dracula’s adopted daughter. He is an extremely powerful wizard and has the incredible power to negate natural laws, cancelling out things such as gravity or momentum or density... or increasing/kickstarting them if he sees fit.

Bartholemew Comstock: A pilgrim from the 17th century, he wandered off from his colony and nearly died in the wilderness, finding salvation in Eve, who claimed to be an angel… she just left out the “fallen” part. Miserable upon learning he was a vampire and deeming himself an affront to God, he went into hiding for years,eventually coming to believe that there was little meaning to his actions if he was damned to Hell. He begin to strike down and feed off those he viewed as sinners, all the while bemoaning his miserable lot in life and fearing retribution from God.

Beatrix Cullen: A black widow type serial killer who loves to carve up her victims with a chainsaw. She is an incredibly skilled seamstress, and utilizes this in conjunction with her power, which allows her to give life to the lifeless, essentially allowing her to create golems without use of spells or scrolls. She has a very special project lined up utilizing her seven favorite husbands, but she’s looking for just the right head...

Cyrus Lovelace: A former slave owner, Confederacy member, and all-around unpleasant person who captured slaves and auctioned them off to vampires as cattle. He was the one who purchased Dahlia from her parents for her infractions and had rather untoward plans for her before Dracula broke up his operation. He has the power to hypnotize people with his voice.

Dallas Ryder: A white cowboy from the late 1800s, he was hunted relentlessly for the crime of loving a black man. He dedicated much of his time to roaming the South and slaughtering any Klansmen he found without mercy. He was eventually captured and nearly lynched, but he was rescued by Amon. He has the power to control the trajectory of any projectiles he releases as long as they remain within his eyesight, be it bullets from his gun or a paper airplane. The efficiency of the projectiles is also increased. 

Dee Comporre, Giorgio Nero, & Mr. Viticcio: Three members of Cosa Nostra who once worked to enforce the will of an extremely powerful criminal in the 1920s. Giorgio is their leader, and has the power of magnetism, capable of feats similar to Magneto from X-Men; Dee is incredibly violent, paits her face up like a skull, and has the ability to secrete corrosive acid; Mr. Viticcio wears a coat, hat, sunglasses, and has a heavily bandaged face, and has the ability to stretch his limbs out like rubber. It is unknown if their names are real or aliases.

Elizabeth Bathory: The Blood Countess herself. After evading death in the 1600s thanks to Eve, she became a loyal follower of the demon, and was recruited into the Order of the 1800s. Dracula and Rasputin managed to defeat her and supposedly kill her, but Bathory is notoriously hard to slay. True to her infamous reputation, she tends to “Feed” by bathing in the blood of her victims. 

Elvis Chavez: A big fan of Elvis growing up in the 60s and 70s, Elvis wished to someday be like the impersonators he saw at his father’s bar. He got his wish in the 80s when he went to Vegas, but was often ridiculed by his peers for portraying the chunkier Elvis of his later life due to his weight. He became a vampire mostly out of spite for those people, hoping to outlive the even as he indulged in gluttonous behavior. He is absolutely unashamed of his gut and kept his chubbiness even after he was turned. Power is WIP.

Flanagan & Tantomile: A pair of psychic vampire twins.

Jack Fairchild: Jack the Ripper himself. He has the power to travel through shadows. He is the most hated and feared member of the coven, and he has committed nearly every atrocity you can imagine, gleefully. He views himself as above laws and morality. He was once a student of Dracula, and the lover of Rose Milliner, but was swayed to join Eve and slaughter his peers at Dracula’s school. After Rose rejected him, he went on to become the cannibalistic, immoral spree killer he is known as today.

Kane Dødsstreik: A Nordic warlord. He has a quiet intensity and is in general given a fair amount of respect. He stands at 6′5″ tall. He has the power to use his voice as a weapon (a la Black Bolt); he tends to speak softly and infrequently, though this is less because of his power - which he has complete control over - and more because he finds most of his fellow coven mates unworthy of his words.

Kristoph Hollenfeuer: A former Nazi who commanded a secret paranormal investigation branch known as Enigma. He has the power to generate tracking bombs from his hands.

Michelle Kitt: Once a notorious cat burglar in the 50s alongside her husband, she would steal from the rich and give to the less fortunate (though she would still keep some for herself). After eventually settling down, enemies she’d made broke into her home, killed her husband and daughter, and left her face cut up and scarred heavily, as well as costing her an eye. She has the ability to ignore the rules of sacred hospitality, allowing her to enter buildings uninvited at the cost of her pronounced combat skills being weakened, as well as the power to move silently.

Mickey Harrelson: A former hitman and one of the new Order. His power is WIP.

Nestor Sokolov: A lost cosmonaut, whose supposed death was covered up by the Soviet Union after he burned on reentry. While he did suffer severe burns, he managed to survive, and was saved from death by Amon. He often still wears a modified space suit to hide his face. He has the power to phase through solid objects. 

Pierre Labeau: A man hailing from Louisiana, he was born with a disfigured nose that made his upper class mother feel ashamed. She locked him in the attic, his only friends and interests being the various spiders therein; eventually, his mother even cut his nose off, something he would return to her in kind before killing her. He began to kill people like her, snobbish upper class twits, cutting off their noses and slitting their throats. He learned of the phrase “cut off her nose to spite her face” and decided to dub himself Spider Face after the mondegreen one could discern from the phrase. He was eventually caught in the act and driven into the bayou where he supposedly died, though Amon in truth allowed him to join Eve’s coven. His love of arachnids caused him to gain their powers, making him much like Spider-Man, as well as giving him incredibly virulent venom. While he certainly isn’t totally wicked, he also revels in being something of an area boogeyman and proudly proclaims himself a villain any chance he gets.

Piper Sanchez – One of the new Order. Formerly a young, mute homeless man. Loves rock music and has a guitar. Has the power to control and empower rats, which he can do with his music.

Rhapsody Von Braun: Hailing from the early 60s, Rhapsody was an artist who had her career derailed by workplace sexism, which led to a car accident that permanently damaged her leg and led to her becoming a drug addict. She spends a lot of her time sleeping, and walks with a cane even as a vampire. She’s rather sweet and pleasant, though she is a bit scatterbrained. Her power is to make drawings she draws come to life.

Ryo Amano: The elder son of the Amano family and a criminal mastermind, for years he served alongside Jemima Mathers, regulating crime in the city and ensuring his work would go unhindered. However, his cruel past caught up to him: when it was revealed he had his sister violently beaten and kicked out of the family, and that he had driven his own mother to suicide by making her blame herself for her daughter’s disappearance, he had to go into hiding. Eve soon discovered him, and his lineage was revealed to him - his father was Amadeus Zephyri, which made him a dhampyr. Granted vampirism, he soon found himself in possession of a powerful new skill. Where his father could stop time, he could essentially utilize a localized acceleration of time, causing negative effects to rapidly occur, such as allowing a decrepit pillar to crumble or to cause a knife wound to fester and kill the victim immediately. 

Sawney Bean: The infamous Scottish cannibal of legend, transformed into a vampire by Eve as he was about to die in his sealed-in cavern alongside the remains of his family. He eventually decided to give in to the ultimate vampire taboo and consume another vampire; finding he liked the taste, he continued to eat other vampires who crossed him, eventually twisting and transforming into a terrifying monster with metal teeth and claws that stood well over seven feet tall. He rarely ventures out from his hideaway unless called by his masters.

Walter Sherman: A good, kindhearted man who ever since the 1910s always looked to the future and was excited for progress. After his wife and two children died in a freak accident, he attempted suicide, but was turned into a vampire instead. Power Is WIP.

Wayne Nicol: A former circus clown. He has the ability to enter people’s minds and utilize their most powerful fears against them.

[a-lbeit]

2019: a year in review

a doozy

rang in the new year at jellyrolls in orlando with a complimentary champagne toast, hats and noisemakers, and a round of “auld lang syne,” just as you’re supposed to, ending the night at steak n shake with some of the best people i’ve known. it was a traditional new years, and i couldn’t be more grateful.

watched most of my roommates go back to where they came from--australia, ohio, brazil, hawaii. it was a sad few days when i was alone in the apartment before moving to a new place, continuing on with the college program.

had a visit from my parents and aunt. it was nostalgic, in a way, and i’m so glad they were able to visit me. my aunt has already visited me out here in california, and i hope my parents can make the trip out at some point.

found out that i had been accepted to participate in the college program in disneyland. i remember opening that email at the bus stop after a morning shift at the hotel. it was unthinkable, the idea that california was on my horizon. i hadn’t been that excited about something in a long, long time. in the coming days, i remember researching driving across the country in an old and unreliable car.

finally took the free tour of the wilderness lodge. it certainly held my interest, but i took the information with a grain of salt. it’s still disney, after all.

started hanging out with katie, nicole, and estevan, the first group of people i didn’t live with that i felt close to since high school. going to the parks with them was so pure, the way i picture young people’s experiences at disney world should be like. we went to the butterfly garden at epcot, got food at the flower and garden festival, and watched happily ever after countless times. i’m not often one for that type of shit, usually, but with them, it was incredible. 

drove back to charleston on st patrick’s day to see mumford and sons with callie. that was one of the groups i’d always wanted to see, and callie is one of the best people to see a concert with. i’ve said it before, but marcus mumford is one of my favorite celebrity-type people. he seems genuine and personable.

drove back a couple days later and went to bob ross’s grave with katie

the next day, finally bit the bullet and bought a ticket to universal. katie and i had so much fun that day. it was strange being back there and seeing all the changes since i had last been on my senior trip in high school. seeing everything, especially on the universal side, that i had missed or never had time for, was far out.

had a visit from lisa and toby somewhere in there and also from my cousin

went to blizzard beach with katie and nicole

went to clearwater beach with katie, nicole, and estevan. i found $20 in the sand, we took nice photos, and blasted music in the car.

had some late night walmart and target visits with them, where nicole and i started our “hello/hi” snapchat epics. i miss those.

nicole spent a few nights at the hospital, so we visited her. we had fun, even though i know she was scared. 

went to magic kingdom on 4/20 lmfao 

went to jellyrolls one last time

was given a cupcake for my second to last day at port orleans (and for my last, as well). one of the managers was quite kind and i do appreciate her.

went to universal one last time. cracked my phone that morning lmfao. still had a great day, though. 

the last evening before moving out, katie, estevan, and i went to magic kingdom. daniel took some photos for us in front of the castle, we said goodbye to estevan, watched happily ever after, and for our last ride, attempted to go on thunder mountain. we were evacuated. what a way to end it.

despite these memories, the first part of 2019 is kind of a blur. i remember being infuriated with my workplace environment--the lack of hours, the shitty treatment of employees, particularly by one of the managers. i do not miss him and i do not miss that place. i am only thankful to have met katie, nicole, and estevan through it. port orleans riverside, and disney world in general (not disneyland, on which i will speak later) is the absolute most awful place i have ever worked. i cried in my car in the rain starting my 6 hour drive back to charleston on may 2nd to have to leave my friends, but i was overjoyed to be leaving orlando.

returned to charleston, no money in my bank account, worried about the plausibility of getting a job just for a few months before leaving for california.

saw shakey graves with callie and some others. it wasn’t the best shakey graves show i’d seen, but it was nice nonetheless.

went to folly beach for the sunrise with melissa. it was beautiful and empty, and i was even wearing a jacket in charleston in may. 

also went to the grand reopening of one of the local mcdonalds with melissa LMFAO

got a job at east bay deli and also back at the college bookstore. thank god for them.

spent the next 8-ish weeks mostly just working close to every day. i might have had 3 or 4 days off in that time. but i wouldn’t have had it any other way. i actually looked forward to the 2 days a week i got to work at the bookstore--i loved my supervisors and coworkers so much. and the deli was chill and i enjoyed my coworkers there, too. i miss them, to be honest. both of those jobs. i didn’t make much money, but it was something to enable me to get a start in california and to enjoy a couple of summer trips. 

in mid-july, rented a car and drove up to the smokies, one of new favorite summer traditions (although i’m not sure if i’ll be able to continue it this year). on the way there, i even got a new phone, making the trip even better, since i now had a battery life that lasted, gps that actually worked, and a nicer phone camera. i did some really great hikes, ones that i’d had on the back burner for a couple years. i even did 2 hikes in one day that added up to about 15 miles. that’s not really that much, but i was proud of myself. i also found myself once again at looking glass falls, feeling that this is what summer should look like. i miss that place, where everything seems simple, even though it’s not.

returned, worked for a few more days at the bookstore (with my birthday in between, a lovely day spent in edisto with my parents), and flew up to the new york area for a couple days. man, what a trip. 

after arriving at jfk, i took the airtrain into manhattan and headed uptown to finally visit the general grant mausoleum, something i had wanted to do the last couple times i had been to new york but had never had the chance to. it was beautiful to look at and fascinating to learn about. i love that the nps has so many different kinds of sites. then, i went to columbia’s wallach art gallery because i had the time to. bob dylan’s “mozambique” was part of one of the pieces. 

finally took the train down to lauren’s. it was so incredible to spend the night at her apartment and then to come back to the city with her the next day. we went to the color factory, walked around soho, got food in chinatown, and went to a drag performance, after which we met up with kai and got a late dinner in harlem. 

the next day, we walked around to a few color factory spots and parted ways at penn station. i continued on to my next airbnb in queens and went to primark to end the evening. 

went back to flushing meadows corona park, reminiscing about the paul simon concert i’d seen less than a year before and how strange it was to be back on the same soil. i explored the park in more depth. it’s such an overlooked place full of early 60s futurism. i went to paul simon’s childhood home, which is up for sale now, and got a snack at the lemon ice king of corona. on i ventured to the jamaica bay wildlife refuge, another nps site checked off my list (not that any nps site is a place to “check off.” i want to see them all because the diversity is so unique). 

that evening, i met up with ciaran. it was so cool to be able to see him for the first time since berlin. besides zuri and the people i went to school with, he’s the only person i’ve seen since that semester. i loved talking about berlin and what we’ve been up to since then.

my last day, i wandered around prospect park (at the recommendation of ciaran), went to federal hall, and finally to governor’s island where i got soaked in a rainstorm but it was all right. i ended the night with pierogi and thoughts of the coming week.

flew back and packed for the start of a different life

once again flew out of charleston for what i thought would be the last time for a while. i arrived in chicago for a nice few days before chugging out of union station.

trying to get to my airbnb on the l was an experience. lollapalooza was going on, and i arrived at my transfer station just as everyone was leaving for the night. it was packed and i ended up going in the opposite direction i needed just so that i could get on the train in the right direction before everyone else piled on. it was funny, though, even in the moment. 

it was my first time in chicago, so i started my first day at millennium park, which was honestly really cool, despite the crowds. from there, i went to the art institute, where i could have spent all my time if i had the chance. i remembered scenes from ferris bueller. 

travelled down to the university of chicago, where i toured the robie house. i think that was the first frank lloyd wright house that i’ve seen. maybe someday i’ll get to fallingwater and the like. 

more south, there’s a place called the stony island arts bank. they had on display an artist’s work who had painted a photo from each day of obama’s presidency. there were thousands of them. i loved it so much. 

my second and last day, i walked along lake michigan, visited a mexican art museum, and went to the zoo, ending the night at the navy pier gazing at the city lights. this trip was a tourist’s one, but i wouldn’t have had it any other way.

dragged my shit to union station the next morning, ready to depart on an over-two-day long train trip to the west. 

to begin with, the train left probably 2 hours late. it was all right, though. when we finally started moving, i felt it--the wheels against the track, sure, but more so the wind in mountains thousands of miles away that i would soon see. 

sunset in illinois and sunrise in nebraska, a concept

i had both seats to myself from somewhere in illinois until salt lake city. what a time to be alive.

sure, the stretch between denver and colfax might be the beautiful part, but all those plains of nebraska and eastern colorado did a number on me. 

in denver, we had about a 35 minute refuel break, so i left the train and union station and walked to a 7 eleven a few blocks away. how strange it was to be in a city i’d always heard of, but just for a few minutes. when i got back on, a man had boarded and sat in front of me that sure was a loud talker. i was thankful to be behind him rather than next to him. 

we left denver, only to be held up about a half hour later by a freight train stuck in a tunnel. the man started freaking me and the other passengers out a little--he was muttering and sort of rocking back and forth, clearly uncomfortable with the delay we were faced with. i moved to the observation car for the first time to get away from him, and boy, am i glad i did. i spent a good amount of time there for the remainder of my journey. when we were still stuck behind that freight train, the conductor came in and played someone’s guitar, leading us all in a singalong. it was pure and i’m glad i was a part of it.

after we finally got moving again, we started to see the scenery we had signed up for. apart from badlands and the black hills last year, i’d never seen the west at all. this was terrain on the level of ansel adams’s iconography. thank god for that part of the country.

to see and do this on a train made it so much more meaningful. to realize you’re looking at the path that people’s ancestors blazed through all those years ago is something else. 

a lot of utah was passed through at night, unfortunately, but from salt lake city on, we could see the alien landscapes of the state. i still can’t fully fathom its character, but i have at least a bit of an idea now. wow. 

at one point, i think in nevada, we were delayed again by a passenger needing an ambulance. i can’t even imagine what it must have been like for them. i hope everything ended up working out fine for them.

leaving out of reno and crossing the state line into california was anticlimactic but incredible. i was really in california. 

everyone ended up getting a free meal because the train was so late. at that point, it was over 6 hours behind schedule. that beef stew, mashed potatoes, and bread sure hit different when i hadn’t had substantial food since denver.

the train emptied out as time went on, and after the last sunset somewhere in the middle of california, it was just me and a few others in the observation car. trev and i had been talking for months about meeting up once i got to california, and he ended up calling me to ask if he could come to my airbnb the night i arrived in anaheim in a few days. i said yes. it remained in the back of my mind. 

we rolled in to emeryville 5 minutes before midnight, 7 hours and 45 minutes late. it was cold and i was unsure of the reliability of my airbnb host, but i wouldn’t trade it for anything. i ended up taking a lyft to the airbnb because i just couldn’t deal with waiting for or even learning the bus. my airbnb host was probably the worst i’ve ever had, and i only was able to get into the apartment complex because another resident came back and let me in, but it doesn’t matter.

i worried about transportation costs in san francisco, but i bit the bullet (as gently as i could). it’s fucking san francisco in the summertime. what else can you do?

i started everything off with a visit to the hyde street pier after taking the bus into the city from berkeley. i saw a sea lion or seal or whatever and got my first view of the golden gate. it was like nothing else. 

had in n out, since i guess it’s blasphemous not to

walked to the palace of the arts and then went to the bridge. i didn’t cross it or anything, but i walked down to the beach and admired the bay. how do places like that exist? 

climbed back up to the level of civilization and rushed over to the embarcadero to meet up with brandon. i feel so grateful that i was able to meet up with him. we walked around chinatown, had dinner, and ended the night at burger king in union square.

the next morning, i made my way to golden gate park, where outside lands was to be held later that day. i saw the windmill, the bison enclosure, strawberry hill, the aids memorial grove--a message on one of the stones said the names of two men who had “met the day humans walked on the moon”--and hippie hill. that park is full.

i thought about trev on my long walks, how i’d probably be seeing him in a little over 24 hours 

ventured into the haight-ashbury district, where i wandered around amoeba a little bit and saw the music history which has become such a piece of consumerism nowadays. i guess it always was, though.

saw a beautiful church in mission delores and looked around an alley of street art; then went up to the richy rich part of town (although i guess that’s the entirety of sf, isn’t it?) to see the painted ladies and look at everything the beat museum had to offer. that place was so fascinating.

went back to my airbnb briefly before taking the bart down to oakland to see paul simon in his pop-up show at the fox theater that he’d announced about a week beforehand. i was lucky enough to score a ticket, and even though his setlist was mostly the same from when i’d seen him twice the year before, there’s something about him that just makes me wide-eyed. 

the next day, flew out of sf and into orange county, my new home. flying down to southern california was a feeling of hope and freshness. i don’t feel it as much anymore, but it sure did make my heart jump at the time. i still couldn’t believe i was in california, seeing the pacific outside my airplane window, and that just 4 or 5 days before, i had experienced so much less in my life.

that evening, trev came over. it was certainly a day of firsts. i remember that night so well, how he kissed me good night at the end. i still like him as a friend and i’ll probably hook up with him again, but blech. cringe. i’ve changed, i think.

the next day, i moved into a new apartment to start the disney college program once again. meeting my 4 roommates, who knew what kind of shit was to happen over the next few months? i was so guarded that day, as i always am with meeting people, but especially with the self-hatred of continuing to work for disney.

in the next few days before the orientation where we get our disney IDs and entrance pass to the parks, i got settled and explored the area a little bit. i walked onto disney property, seeing the disneyland sign for the first time. it was otherworldly. i had thought about this for so many years, not just california, but disneyland specifically. it was the original, the first. seeing downtown disney, the hotels, and a few views of the parks was insane. 

the day of the orientation was like a door opening. we went on a small tour of the park. it was just me and one other guy in our group who had never been to disneyland, so we got to go out into it first. i will always remember that first second. i also learned that i would be working at autopia lmfao and i was NAWT happy. look at me now. i am so goddamn indebted to that place.

that evening, my roommates and i went into the park as guests, and i rode peter pan as my first ride. i was happy. 

went to la for the first time the next day. seeing the hollywood sign in the distance doesn’t faze me quite so much now, but that first time, wow. it’s beautiful when everything is new to you. 

went to the parks a few more times in the midst of training at auto. i met and befriended abby, greg, and alex. my second day of auto training was blake and jacob’s first. i remember meeting them and shaking their hands and discussing how we had all done a program in florida.

went to joshua tree one night with zuri, where we stargazed and saw all kinds of flora and fauna. it was beautiful, and i loved being the one to drive back at 4 in the morning through the blackened californian scenery.

the day i got signed off, i went back to la to spend the night at trev’s LMFAO, with the next morning spent at venice and santa monica. i remember feeling so grateful for my life, for california, for getting laid, for disneyland.

a few nights later, a big group of us all went out. i got drunk for the first time. i met britt then, and i got closer to blake and everyone.

in the next few weeks, i went to an angels game with abby and her roommates, went bowling with coworkers, and had a tipsy la day with abby.

then came september 11th. we were all going to go out again. after work, i went to walmart to buy vodka and strawberry lemonade. i made a detour to mcdonald’s because i wanted to eat something before getting lit. and i broke my ankle. never got to go out that night. the defining point of these past 6 months.

i sat on the ground after falling for about 20 minutes, maybe, waiting and hoping for the pain to subside. it didn’t. before the swelling started, i noticed that when i moved my left ankle, it didn’t look the same as my right one. i admitted defeat and called my roommate to drive me to the er. thank god for her. 

we sat in the er waiting room for a couple hours. my ankle hurt, but i don’t really remember it being too bad anymore. they finally saw me. i got an x-ray. the technician said it was broken. i started crying. the nurse splinted me up and gave me crutches. the doctor wrote me a recommendation for an orthopedic specialist. i fell again trying to use the crutches on the way out. they re-x-rayed me. re-splinted me. sent me home.

i somehow took a shower the next morning. blake messaged me, asking how i was. he brought me coffee and pastries. i will never forget it. 

i couldn’t get an appointment until almost a week later, but in the meantime, my roommates and i held a couple game and movie nights. abby and jacob came by, blake always made an appearance, and i met tucker.

i would start a lot of days by listening to the sigh no more album and contemplating my future. it was a low time, but not the lowest it would get.

britt and i talked a lot, comparing our experiences. i asked her a lot about medical leave. we grew closer because of it all.

when the appointment finally rolled around, i was told that i would most likely need surgery. he re-splinted it and sent me on my way, as it was still too swollen to do anything. i cried in blake’s car. 

i called my parents and they said i should come home. i was devastated, but they were right. i was going to do absolutely EVERYTHING in my power to be able to continue with my college program, though. this shit would not end me. (and it didn’t. but i didn’t know it at the time.)

a flight was booked for me to fly back to charleston on september 21st. the night before, we had a final game night with everyone. blake gave me a letter, saying not to read it until i got on the plane. hugs goodbye were tight and i felt my chest close. it was melancholic in a way i’d never felt before. 

i sat in the airport the next day trying not to cry. i was able to hold it in. then i was in the air and i finally let myself read the letter. tears escaped often throughout that entire day. i tried to be as discreet as i could. 

i reunited with my parents much sooner than i thought i would. it had only been just over a month, after all. i had an appointment that tuesday and we set up surgery for thursday. 

i was in charleston for 6 weeks exactly, one of the longest stretches of time in my life. i was constantly forlorn about california and worried about my finances and my participation in the program. the lowest point hit when one of the program people said i should consider cutting my losses and quitting, that they’d only make me pay rent through the middle of november because of my circumstances. i got a medical bill from the er in anaheim that was exponential because my insurance hadn’t gone through yet (but i didn’t realize that part). the only thing that kept me all right was the thought of my friends in california and the hope of a grandiose future, although i wasn’t too sure about that possibility. i wrote blake a letter and he wrote me back. i read east of eden and some other books. britt and i texted. rozi and i became incredibly close. i hung out with my parents and we watched queer eye. i recovered. i became better. my blind resilience (or perhaps stubbornness) was the main reasoning behind my (stupidly naïve) unwavering assuredness of a return to california. 

LMFAO at the fact that i almost forgot about this, but i texted tucker a lot during that stretch, as well. he asked me out, and we grew closer during my stint in charleston. i looked forward to hanging out with him when i got back.

and the day of my return did come. november 2nd, the most beautifully pure day of my program. i flew back with grace in my heart and stars in my eyes, even though i was still on crutches. i had a window seat and clear skies to admire the southwest, another part of the country i had never had the chance to lay eyes on. and i landed at john wayne airport to texts about my return. britt picked me up and everything seemed positive and optimistic. 

reuniting with blake was something in itself. it was brief, but it had been such a long time coming that i almost cried again. he called me a kindred spirit one time, and that is such a perfect description of what he is to me, as well. 

finally met up with tucker. we went to in n out and came back to my apartment, where we talked for a while and made out for a while. 

had an appointment less than a week later, where i was told that i could start putting weight on my ankle again. within another week, i was down to one crutch. it was freeing in a way i’d never known. by now, it was the middle of november, and i still wasn’t certain when i’d return to work, but it didn’t matter anymore. i was here, in california, surrounded by people i’d grown unfathomably close to in such a short time. 

went to the ellen show somewhere in there and had sex with tucker LMFAO. we spent a lot of time together in about three weeks (he ended up quitting the program and moving back to georgia, so our time was quite short). i had a good time, although i now realize how blinded i was by his laziness and selfishness. i don’t miss him, but i don’t regret it. 

had a photoshoot with my boot and my crutch. it was nice to be able to have fun again. 

finally returned to the parks, which was something of a homecoming, but not as much as when my aunt visited a few days later and i rode autopia for the first time since everything happened.

tucker moved out, and i cried. i roll my eyes now. i wrote him a letter and he never acknowledged it, and never texted anyone back that wished him well. fuck him.

on november 25th, the program gave us a thanksgiving dinner. after that, rozi, blake, britt, and i all wanted to do something, so blake found this place called the juke joint less than a mile away. it was the start of our close group. we would go and play pool and have a drink or two. by that point, i was down to no crutch, as well.

one night, we all went to abby’s. i got a little drunk and talked about socialism and the national park service for like half an hour.

went to medieval times lmao

it kind of became a thing for us to drag blake out of his apartment to go to juke joint. those were the days.

got cleared to go back to work on december 4th, but didn’t go back until the 13th. in that time, i chilled, tried not to spend money, and slept over at trev’s again after a fun karaoke session with zuri and her coworkers. we went to amoeba and guitar center, and i went to a book talk at the morrison hotel gallery.

one juke joint night, rozi, blake, britt, and i ended up staying out all night, driving to the top of the world in laguna to see sunrise. it started with rozi needing toilet paper, so we went to target after leaving juke joint. then we didn’t want it to end. we got tacos and donuts and we sat in a park for a while talking about life. rozi wanted to go to a view. we found the top of the world. and we drove there. there was fog and gas station snacks. i am thankful for that night and for rozi initiating it all.

went to the dcp end of program celebration and got drunk at abby’s apartment afterwards. i had a lot of fun that night. i met matheus there. 

finally went back to work on december 13th. that morning, all the program participants had an opportunity to take a photo in front of the castle, and jacob, abby, and i all posed together. at work, i felt a real sense of joy. my ankle and feet hurt by the end of the day, but the knowledge of forthcoming paychecks and a renewed sense of purpose overpowered any pain.

went to the newport boat parade

another night, rozi, blake, and i again stayed out all night after juke joint. we went back to the same park, and after a while, we said “let’s go to la.” i drove there in blake’s car, and we tried to go to griffith, but it was closed. so we went up to the start of a hollywood sign hike and looked down at the city’s lights. the juxtaposition of the natural and the man-made is really captivating. then we went to hollywood boulevard and had fries at a 24 hour burger place in the roosevelt hotel at 4 in the morning. it was beautiful. on the way back, rozi slept in the back and blake and i talked about politics and the park service, about trump’s impeachment. i called out of work and slept all day, that evening going to jacob’s housewarming party. after we left, the four of us went back to blake’s (i, at least, was crossfaded at that point lmfao) and all laid on his twin bed. 

on christmas eve, rozi, blake, and i went to california adventure and had food from the festival of the holidays. it was an incredible evening. it felt pure. 

i worked on christmas morning again, but i enjoyed myself. blake and i would fuck around, and it really made everything all right.

went out with some coworkers a few days later. we laughed and got low. 

worked a hell of a lot, trying to make up for the three months i had been out of a job

new years eve almost was anticlimactic--almost. blake, abby, and i all worked and came home together, making a stop at vons for champagne, pizza, and chips and salsa. then, i found out rozi wasn’t going to be around because she was going to spend the evening with her family. i was disheartened. new years is the only holiday i really care about, and it was about to be the start of the roaring 20s. i wanted to do something big. but it ended up being all right. i went to abby’s apartment and hung out with her roommates. blake came a bit later. we all drank together until abby and bailey decided to go to california adventure, while the rest of us decided to stay. at midnight, it ended up just being me, blake, mackenzie, and lauren, which was all right. i was drunk by that point and i don’t really remember the ball dropping, but i know it was a nice way to roll in the new year. britt came through eventually, and we went back to blake’s, but he wanted to take a smoke, so we all went outside, me in his blanket. as he smoked his cigar (of which i took a few drags, unfortunately), britt went up to this party that was happening across the way and somehow got us all in. we put his blanket back and went into the party, which is fuzzy to me. i remember eating doritos and drinking jameson lmfao. i saw rod and matty at one point. i kissed them. i don’t remember coming home, but i got to work at 8:45 the next day on time. i was still drunk, but i sure did have fun that new years morning. i laughed and joked with blake and abby. it was their last day. i almost cried when blake came up to me as he was leaving.

saw a lot of movies thanks to my cousin working at amc and giving me a card that lets me see any movie any time for free

drove a little, even in california

spent way too much money on food

thought a lot about the differences between working conditions at disney world and disneyland. i’m thankful to be in california now, where the laws give more power to employees, where i’m part of a union, where the weather is good and the people are better

counted my endless blessings. i have never been more grateful of my life.

analyzed my broken ankle. it could not have come at a better time, in all honesty. i had already met incredible people on this program and had gotten to know them a little bit, so i didn’t feel like i was on the outskirts of the program, even when i was back in south carolina. it made me grow closer to everyone somehow, and i am thankful and appreciative beyond belief for that. rozi and i probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now without it. britt and i wouldn’t have bonded over our injuries. blake and i, oh man. we would have never written each other, i probably wouldn’t have read east of eden, and we might never have formed the juke joint squad. i remember writing about how hard it was, dealing with my broken ankle, with the lack of mobility, with the impending medical bills, but that i still thought that in the future, i would think the whole thing was soft. i think that even now, just a month or so later. even with the debt, with the worry of my mobility, i am so content with how my life has developed just over these past 4 months.

laughed and cried 

missed school

listened to music in a new light, but maybe not as much as i used to

became incredibly busy, but would not have traded it for anything

looked into the aspire program with the realization that i would probably be starting the road to my master’s quite soon 

became less conflicted about working for disney. i still hate myself sometimes, but it’s a different vibe out here. it seems more genuine than in florida. 

completely embraced a life in california. i don’t really think this is where i’ll end up (although who really ever knows?), but i am so genuinely happy to be in this place for a bit--and i don’t think i’ve ever unabashedly or truly thought that about a residence before

loved the national park service, as i always do, and loved discussing it with blake

songs of the year: “timshel,” mumford and sons; “this life,” vampire weekend, “the cool, cool river,” paul simon; “count your blessings,” bing crosby. “timshel” made me think about my somehow unfaltering strength and independence, about how i have to be the source of affirmation in my own life. “this life” encapsulated the beauty of a never-ending summer. “the cool, cool river” let me remember to show weakness sometimes. and “count your blessings” is always in the back of my mind.

album of the year: norman fucking rockwell, lana del rey. that entire album was such a soundtrack for me when i was dreaming of nothing but california, of my friends, of walking. 

man, 2019. the end of a decade. the change i had been waiting for. i am a completely different person than i was even 6 months ago. the events of this year affected me unlike anything in the past. i said last year that 2018 was the most eventful year of my life, but this year was something else. and i am so unendingly grateful for the trials, tribulations, and victories that it threw at me. romance, friendship, sex, drinks, travel, financial worry, pain, and overall, an enduring lust for life have carried me through this year into a new decade, and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

the first part of 2019 was completely different than the second half, and it is wild to think about it in those terms. i’m not too sure why california changed me the way it did, but man, the people i’ve come in contact with over the past 5 months have had such an impact on my life. the relationships i formed were the newest but also somehow some of the closest ones i’ve ever had. and it’s strange to think about them, but they completely envelop my outlook on this entire year. 

i’ve been so caught up in my own life that i haven’t even touched on global events. you only have to remember a couple things to become overwhelmed by the horrors of the planet. climate change, hate crimes, poverty, war. it all blends together, honestly. i think about how the world is shitty and i just kind of close myself off from it. but there is always the occasional beautiful moment that you easily pluck from the depths of your brain to renew your hope. because even though it can constantly seem like you have lost all your hope, it is never actually gone. i think it’s impossible for hope to leave your being. that sense of longing and anticipation for an untouched tomorrow always gets me through the night. 

and sometimes, you don’t even need hope. when you’ve got this incredible entanglement of all the people you love so much surrounding you, you can just picture their faces and remember the good times you’ve had so far with them and rest assured that life just might have mercy on you, on your weary but persistent and trailblazing soul.

“maybe it’s true that we are all descended from the restless, the nervous, the criminals, the arguers and brawlers, but also the brave and independent and generous. if our ancestors had not been that, they would have stayed in their home plots in the other world and starved over the squeezed-out soil.”

[charitywaterblog]

Meet our Spring Interns!

This Spring, we were so honored to work with 12 amazing, talented, and ambitious interns who showed up every day with a contagious passion for changing the world. Say hello to our Spring intern dream team! 

Name: Kelsey Thompson School: The King’s College Team: Marketing Hometown: Keller, Texas

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I wanted to get involved with a nonprofit organization and a lot of people at my school recommended charity: water!

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

I answer a lot of questions from supporters on a multitude of different issues, assist with merchandise orders, and help out at the reception desk!

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

The people! Everyone here is so nice and the office is always planning something interesting.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

Lots and lots of studying! But other than that, I love hanging out with my friends and when I’m not seeing Broadway shows, I’ve probably got the soundtracks stuck in my head.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Remedy Diner on the Lower East Side or Union Square when the weather is nice.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

It’s kinda of a surprise to everyone, including myself.

Fun Fact: When I was young, there was a period of time in which I would not respond to Kelsey. I made my family call me “Ariel” because I loved The Little Mermaid so much.

Name: Laura Heilburn School: Auburn University Team: Key Relationships - UK Initiative Hometown: San Diego, CA

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

Public health and preventative medicine are strong passions of mine, so to be able to join charity: water in pursuit of worldwide access to clean water is an incredible privilege. charity: water has chosen to face the water crisis head on as well as challenge pre-existing and inefficient charity models with their 100% model. I am endlessly inspired by their impact as well as the courage they provide those facing enormous obstacles of their own.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

Working on charity: water’s expansion to the UK means I get the wonderful opportunity to work with many different people in various departments. It has been invaluable to see the inner workings of this organization and the different roles it takes to support the mission for clean water.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

You could not ask for a more kind and passionate group of people to work alongside, and I mean both staff and supporters. It is reassuring, especially during times like these, to see the good happening on a daily basis and to work with people who are not discouraged by the size of a problem but instead determined to do something about it.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

Outside of charity: water I make a living as a graphic designer. If I’m not working on any projects you can find me snapping some photos, strumming my guitar, or scheming up a new adventure.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

I love to be wherever the music is. From subway stations and Washington Square Park to Carnegie Hall, this city is filled with so many talented musicians! (I’ve skipped many a train just to hear another tune).

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I have a forecast of about 3 months right now, but please introduce me to someone with a 15-year plan, I could learn a thing or two!

Name: Shaikh Moin School: Fordham University Team: Water Programs Hometown: Jamaica Estates, NY

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I had a friend who interned at charity: water last semester and the work that she did was so impactful. I was really inspired by her to apply and get involved in helping solve the global water crisis.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

It varies so much! Recently, I have been working on researching potential partners for new grants. In the past I’ve helped Anna with Monitoring and Evaluation or Water Program Officer’s with photo review.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

Beer and Pizza! I love the workplace environment here.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

I love spending time with my friends and exploring NYC. Typically that means going to concerts or trying new restaurants.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Mugz’s Bar and Grill

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

Professionally, I see myself working in humanitarian aid or medicine, ideally somehow combining the two.

Fun Fact: I somehow have chipped a tooth every year for the past 6 years.

Name: Emily Manser School: New York University Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Hanover, MA

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

The moment I heard about charity: water I knew it was an organization I wanted to be a part of, being able to intern here has been a dream come true.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

Every day here at charity: water is different - whether I’m circulating the office, asking for signatures on Jerry Cans, sending birthday gifts to our Well Members, or putting together The Well Newsletter, I am always keeping busy.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

I have always wanted to work for a nonprofit and being able to start my experience at an org with the mission and values like charity: water has been amazing. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

As a college freshman, my schoolwork keeps me plenty busy when I’m not in the office.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

I love spending time in Washington Square Park during the week but on the weekends you can find me exploring the entire city.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I would love to continue working in the nonprofit sector, maybe even start one of my own someday.

Fun Fact: I was born and grew up in Switzerland before moving to Massachusetts, so I am always craving Swiss chocolate!

Name: Ashley Echols School: University of Washington Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Waco, TX

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I studied abroad a few years ago in Bhutan where I did research on how water resource infrastructure affected villages socioeconomically and fell in love with water. I then pursued a masters in environmental engineering with a focus in water resources. Upon moving to NYC, I started researching water nonprofits and loved the model and ideals of charity: water.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

I’m usually working on completion reports and drinking copious amounts of coffee.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

I love being a part of an organization where the people are all so passionate about what they do. There are such positive vibes around the office and everyone’s upbeat spirits are so infectious.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

When I’m not at charity: water, I’m usually spending time with friends, going on spontaneous road trips, or hunting the next best donut.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club in Gowanus

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I hope to be working in international development in the WASH sector, traveling the world, and surrounding myself with good people. I also hope there are puppies involved.

Fun Fact: I have held security clearances for both the US and British governments.

Name: Cristina Gnecco School: NYU Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia, and Bogota, Colombia

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

To contribute to the end of extreme poverty by helping people gain access to clean water! It’s really challenging to find organizations doing truly amazing work that have the funding models and attitude necessary to make impactful change. After researching hundreds of organizations, I fell in love with charity: water’s innovative model and amazing (yellow!) brand.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

Coming in and catching up with the other interns and team members about the day’s tasks over snacks and giant mason jars full of water. This usually includes sending fun gifts and thank you’s to our amazing supporters, researching new potential donors, and helping out with any events that are coming up. Lots of spreadsheets and research!

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

Everyone works hard and plays hard which creates an exciting and productive atmosphere that’s fun to be a part of. It’s the kind of job that you look forward to going to on a Friday (or on Monday or Wednesday or any day for that matter), but especially Friday because we have beer and pizza at 5pm.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

I love to run, boogie around the town, pet dogs, and take naps.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Any sunny spot with trees and grass!

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut but I’m too short. Hopefully, I’ll be making a meaningful impactful change, with my family, friends, and dog somewhere on Earth instead. Maybe Colombia?

Fun Fact: I hiked the Incan trail and got food poisoning the day I arrived at Macchu Pichu. I threw up all over the ruins!

Name: Michael Martinez School: The King’s College Team: Brand Partnerships Hometown: Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I wanted to intern at charity: water because I believe deeply in its mission and wanted to devote my time to something bigger than myself. It was important for me to find an internship that would help me develop tangible career skills in fundraising and marketing and one where I could be around kind and talented people. With that in mind, charity: water was the obvious choice. This place is filled with some of the most amazing and sincere people I have ever met. The energy here is contagious and it’s amazing to be surrounded by a group of people who have dedicated their careers to solving the water crisis. From the second i stepped into the offices, I knew that I wanted to be an intern here and I haven’t looked back.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

I like to get an early start on my day here in the office and get to the emails waiting for me each morning. I typically am researching case studies and contracts with brand partners, updating our partner's contacts across platforms, tracking social media content from our partnerships, updating Keynote presentations, writing thank you’s, sending Jerry Cans to our friends across the world, and learning as much as I possibly can. For lunch, I always stop by the bakery downstairs, grab a sandwich, and catch a few minutes of my favorite podcast at the moment.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

My favorite part of interning at charity: water is the people. The staff cares so deeply for their work and for each other. Laughter fills the hallways here and I know that anyone I come across would grab a cup of coffee with me in a second. It’s so much fun to be here.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

Outside of charity: water, I am serving as my college’s Student Body President which keeps me pretty busy. Beyond that, I try to catch a comedy show or two in the Village, explore new restaurants with friends, read, or just enjoy the simple things.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

That’s a TOUGH question and it changes all the time, but right now, I’d have to say Governor’s Island.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

In 15 years I hope to be a better guy than I am today, doing something that I love, married with kids, living in NYC/DC/Boston/Denver, and making some sort of difference in the lives of others. I don’t know much more than that, but ask me again in 15.

Fun Fact: If you’re ever in Arizona, you can still see my face on a billboard that’s been up for 10 years now. I don’t know why they haven’t taken it down, but I hope it stays up forever.

Name: Jennifer O’Neil School: Auburn University Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Birmingham, AL

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

My freshman year of college, I was in a leadership program that supported the clean water crisis. I had never heard of the water crisis before that! But it struck a cord with about 10 of us freshmen, so we started the first organization on campus dedicated to the water crisis called Auburn for Water. Over the next three years, the water crisis became my passion! When I found out I could graduate a semester early, I was gung-ho on interning with charity: water after graduation and living out my dream in New York City. I wanted to learn everything about the operations of a nonprofit and how charity: water has been so successful in bringing clean water to those living without. And here I am! Happy as a clam.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

Number one order of business is grabbing a cup of coffee. Then I do a lot of work helping my supervisor, Brady (shoutout to her sweet soul), on donor research, inputting information into our new CRM system, or sending swag to our awesome supporters. Also, giving tours of the office and helping out with events we host in New York.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

Everything! Seriously, everything. I fall more in love with charity: water each day.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

I am constantly living to podcasts, exploring New York for yummy desserts, or working at Anthropologie.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Washington Square Park, specifically to people/squirrel watch.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

Working as a pediatric physical therapist in a city where there’s plenty of good food.

Fun Fact: I love giraffes and Italian greyhounds.

Name: Sarah Nelson School: Fordham University Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Atlanta, GA

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I’ve been fascinated by their 100% model and always loved the idea of something as simple as clean water changing an entire community.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

I always start my day with a cup of coffee and checking in with my (awesome) supervisor Maria. Then, I’m typically either updating Salesforce and spreadsheets or working on creating impact reports and projects to let our amazing donors know how much they mean to charity: water. I also help make sure our presentation materials are up-to-date.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

I absolutely love my KR team and the family atmosphere here. It’s so great to come to work every day with people who love what they do and each other.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

You can usually find me hanging out with my roommate or friends at one of our favorite restaurants in Hell’s Kitchen or nannying around the city.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Central Park’s Conservatory Garden in the Spring to see the gorgeous flowers.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I hope to be working on mental health programming for refugees.

Fun Fact: I am starting my Masters in War and Psychiatry at King’s College London this Fall!

Name: Natalie Tussing School: Fordham University Team: Water Programs Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I heard about it from a family friend that had visited the office. She raved about it and so I went on the website and read all about what they do. I watched YouTube videos of Scott speaking and was hooked. I always wanted to be a part of an NGO like charity: water that is highly organized, well-known and successful so I applied!

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

A typical day in the office usually involved utilizing charity: water’s grants management database for uploading invoice documents for specific projects and completing photo reviews of projects as well. I also help the water programs team with travel arrangements to the field (visa requirements), help to create presentations and keep records up to date.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

I love the snacks and pizza on Fridays, but my most favorite part would have to be all the valuable information I am learning about how charity: water works and what it is like working with a team.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

Outside of charity: water I am finishing up my last semester at Fordham University (Rose Hill Campus). I graduate in May! I also love finding new restaurants and delis in The Bronx Little Italy area (where I live), as well as visit the Botanical Gardens and do yoga.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Probably the New York Botanical Gardens, it is right across the street from my school.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

Hopefully settling down and starting a family while creating my own yoga practice and studio.

Fun Fact: My geography is impeccable.

Name: Salisha Allard-Blaisdell School: Rutgers University Team: Office Operations Hometown: Grenada, West Indies

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

Having been born and raised in poverty for the first 18 years of my life, I have matured into a very service-oriented individual whose life is dedicated to serving others. I have been the recipient of many acts of service, some great, some small and have made it my life’s mission to serve and positively impact the life of others in whatever way I can. Upon my MPA completion in May ‘16, my Dad (who only became my Dad 7 years ago through legal adoption in California), who currently serves as the VP of Smile Generation, forwarded me one of his emails from charity: water and told me to look into the organization. Within of minutes of reading about charity: water, I felt so drawn not only because my Dad and his company LOVE charity: water, but because charity: water’s mission hit home for me.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

My day in the office varies. I come in the office three days a week and each day has its specific roles that I will repeat. But generally, I ensure the office remains in a safe, and inviting atmosphere. Thus, I purchase office supplies, replace light bulbs and try to ensure that our dedicated staff has both sweet and healthy snacks to munch on when they finally look away from their computers to take a few minutes break.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

My favorite part about interning at charity: water is getting this noble opportunity to work with dedicated men and women who are literally saving the lives of others (who at one point were just like me). There is such a strong spirit of love and unity here. I look forward to coming here each day. I admire how diligently the people work to make such an enormous impact on the lives of so many women, children, and their families.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

Outside of charity: water, I spend my time serving others. I currently volunteer with the American Cancer Society as the Road to Recovery Coordinator. I go out into various communities (hospitals, malls, etc) and recruit volunteer drivers whose roles are to take cancer patients, who have no other means of transportation, to and from their cancer treatments. In addition, I serve as the Young Women President in my ward (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints/Mormons) and get to work with girls age 12-18. Lastly, but definitely not least, I enjoy taking my precious 4 year old daughter to the park to ride her bike and give her lots of kisses while I express my love for her.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Central Park area. It’s such a beautiful scene, lots of nice places to eat and spend time with family.

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

In fifteen years, I want to see myself working as an executive administrator in the Public Sector (most likely healthcare related). I hope to have purchased my first home, and celebrated at least my 3rd or 4th anniversary of the establishment of my orphanage in Grenada.

Fun Fact: Although I learned to read at age 12, both at my undergraduate and graduate level, I was selected as one of the top students to represent my schools on a national level. Once with presenting my own writing at the National Undergraduate Literature conference, 2011, and then teaming up with three other Rutgers students to compete at NASPA Stimulation completion, 2015.

Name: Kavya Ravishankar School: New York University Team: Key Relationships Hometown: Canton, OH

Why did you want to intern at charity: water?

I immediately fell in love with the mission and work at charity: water when I learned about the organization and wanted to get involved as soon as I could. I had the opportunity to help out at our VR event at Brookfield Place which really showed me how well the team was able to inspire others including me.

What does a typical day in the office look like for you?

I spend a lot of my time doing donor research. Also, I get to help our amazing supporters learn more about sponsoring water projects.

What’s your favorite part of interning at charity: water?

I love starting off the week with Bagels on Monday morning. The whole team comes together to hear updates at the office and get excited for the week.

What goes on in your life outside of charity: water?

I’m usually going on a run, at yoga, or exploring the many bookstores in the city. Archestratus Books + Foods in Greenpoint is filled with cookbooks and I definitely spend way too much time looking for new recipes and cooking up yummy meals for my friends.

What is your favorite place to hang out in New York?

Prospect Park when the sun is out and the birds are singing. I have a mild obsession with dinosaurs and I get far too excited knowing that the birds that walk amongst us now are their descendants. The park is an awesome place to bird watch!

Where do you want to be in 15 years?

I want to continue pursuing my passion for empowering others.

Fun Fact: I have my private pilot's license and want to fly around the world one day.

[theconservativebrief]

Pornhub has 80 million daily users and more pornographic videos than any other site in the history of the internet, and now it wants to be Playboy.

More specifically, what Playboy was in the ’90s. “A lifestyle brand, a fashion brand,” explains Alex Katz, co-founder of the Madrid-based creative agency Officer & Gentleman, which has been leading the brand strategy for Pornhub for the past four years.

Co-founder Javi Iñiguez jumps in: “The girls were wearing sweatshirts and purses with the Playboy bunny even though they might not have seen a Playboy magazine in their lives.”

Fair enough. Who doesn’t want the cultural clout of Hugh Hefner, literally everything else about Hugh Hefner aside?

It may be a small shock to discover that Pornhub even has a brand strategy, but it makes sense. The company has spent the past several years doing what anybody would do once they become superrich: buying their way to coolness. And, by extension, buying their way to women, whom the company has historically had a hard time appealing to.

I mean, who doesn’t see the connection between lifestyle brands and chicks?

Pornhub’s first website launched in 2007 and was acquired by the MindGeek conglomerate in 2010, at which time it merged with YouPorn, RedTube, and Xtube to become the Pornhub network. From there, it easily consolidated power to become the biggest porn distribution platform ever, but its new challenge was to become a brand that anyone would talk about out loud, and just maybe, someday, wear on a T-shirt.

Models from the ’90s-inspired Playboy fashion line launched last year by Joyrich. Joyrich

In 2014, the network held a contest asking advertising and creative professionals to submit concepts for safe-for-work, PG-13 Pornhub ads that could run in traditional media spots. The move was a reaction to a year of mainstream misses and only two hits: In 2013, Pornhub finagled a centerpiece montage (with clips handpicked by VP Corey Price) in the heart of the porn-focused Joseph Gordon-Levitt rom-com Don Jon. It also nabbed dozens of headlines in outlets from BuzzFeed to SBNation when CBS refused to air a 20-second, completely innocuous ad spot during the Super Bowl. By the time anyone bothered to point out that Super Bowl ads are only sold in 30-second increments, the scam had done its work.

Thanks to the contest, Pornhub buddied up with both Officer & Gentleman and Vendetta Studios, an LA-based viral video production house headed by Dave Lehre — an anxiety-inducing internet personality best known for one of the first viral YouTube clips, “MySpace: the movie,” and more recently for an elaborate stunt in which he fashioned himself into “the first white American K-pop star.”

For Pornhub, Lehre made a litany of viral videos, mostly ads for Pornhub’s new product releases: a VPN service, a “BaDoink” VR headset, a $1,000 robotic twerking butt, and so on.

“Make the brand accessible to the world” was the brief, Lehre says. Make it PG-13; make it live on YouTube; make it shareable. “When we came in, it was all potential. Nobody had tapped the power of Pornhub.” He pauses. “Damn, that sounds epic.”

Officer & Gentleman’s first projects were also tech-related: videos for a cryptocurrency called Titcoin and a (real) piece of wearable tech that would recharge your phone while you masturbated. It was called Wankband. At Christmastime last year, noting the success of gift cards for streaming services like Spotify and Netflix, they started selling Pornhub Premium gift cards. “We thought it would be the perfect Secret Santa present at workplaces and stuff like that,” Iñiguez says.

(Please don’t give a Pornhub Premium gift card to anyone you work with.)

So, is Pornhub … a tech company? “Depends who you ask,” Katz says, though he seems uninterested in the proposition. “But I think the brand … it’s an entertainment company. You don’t see anyone wearing Facebook shirts because they’re cool.”

Right, right. Cool, we’re doing cool here.

“[In online porn], everyone has the same product, so the only way you can differentiate yourself is by building a brand,” Katz explains. “We only want to create advertising that can go viral.” That means safe-for-work content. “[Pornhub] has enough porn; they need content that’s shareable.”

“Everything has to go viral,” Iñiguez points out. So you throw a lot of shit at the wall to see what sticks. The list of what Pornhub has not been willing to try in the past four years would probably be more expedient, but here we are.

It launched its own lube brand, then the world’s largest lube slide. (One of Lehre’s projects, of which he says, “They didn’t come to set, they just said ‘Oh, we have these 5-gallon drums of lube we can send over.’ We got this huge slide. They sent all these porn stars to hang out and slide down it. That was a magic day.”)

“[In online porn], everyone has the same product, so the only way you can differentiate yourself is by building a brand”

At one point, the company started a record label and hosted music video premieres for California rapper Mykki Blanco and Michigan metal band King 810. It hosted a porn film festival in New York, featuring soft-core entries from Miley Cyrus and James Franco. It made an “adult adult coloring book” featuring X-rated sketches from Instagram and Tumblr artists, which it then sold exclusively at the Think Tank Gallery in LA, Verso Books in Milan, and the menswear boutique Off the Hook in Montreal. It launched a line of sex toys, then commissioned Spanish electro-pop band Perlita to create a song from sex toy noises.

The high-end Italian denim company Diesel became the first fashion brand to advertise on a porn site in January 2016, kicking off a much-covered official partnership with Pornhub. Creative director Nicola Formichetti told Dazed, “We all go on websites like Pornhub, you know? So before you start jerking off maybe you can stop and look at our new pants.” For New York Fashion Week in 2017, Hood by Air sent a Pornhub-inspired line down the runway (models wore their hair stylized as if it were coated in semen, and jackets reading “HUSTLER” and “NEVER TRUST A CHURCH GIRL”).

In September that year, the New York streetwear brand Richardson announced a capsule collection featuring Pornhub-branded hoodies, hats, swimsuits, jackets, and T-shirts — one featuring porn actress, poet, and Pornhub spokesperson Asa Akira, and another featuring the flags of countries in which Pornhub is banned. Two months later, the New York outerwear brand Moose Knuckles debuted a limited-edition Pornhub bomber jacket that was sold through the Rihanna-blessed SoHo streetwear staple VFILES.

VFILES is also beloved by Pornhub’s most important woman: Kim Kardashian.

Last summer, the team stopped by the De Re Gallery in Los Angeles for “Make Me Famous,” the first exhibition by “professionally provocative” Instagram-famous twins Allie and Lexi Kaplan — just to pick up a painting of the Kim Kardashian–Ray J sex tape, which is now prominently displayed in the company’s LA office.

Pornhub loves Kim. When she was robbed at gunpoint later that year, Pornhub offered $50,000 “in exchange for information leading to [the] arrest and conviction of criminals who robbed Kim Kardashian.” The press release said that everyone at Pornhub was “deeply saddened” by the “horrible incident,” and reminded the world that Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray J “remains the most viewed video on Pornhub with 110,198,725 views and counting.”

“We consider her to be a member of the Pornhub family,” Pornhub VP Corey Price tells Vox. “As such, we wanted to extend a helping hand and do all that we could to help bring the wrongdoers to justice.” Ultimately, the police didn’t need Pornhub’s help, but it’s a nice gesture. The video now has more than 143 million views!

Pornhub hosted a sci-fi art installation in LA’s De Re Gallery last summer. Maggie West/Pornhub

This June, the company sponsored an elaborate sci-fi art installation at the LA nightclub Union — handing the reins over to LA photographer and activist Maggie West (best known for her “Fluid” series, containing abstract images of blood, saliva, and semen) and New York artist Ryder Ripps (best known for creating the branding for Soylent and using the Ace Hotel’s artist residency to hire two Craigslist sex workers for a widely-reviled project called “ART WHORE”).

Then it partnered with the editorial arm of luxury fashion seller SSENSE to produce an avant-garde photo shoot and literary companion essay called “The Data of Desire,” using Pornhub analytics to figure out which sneaker brands are most fetishized in porn. (Converse, Nike, Adidas, Vans, and Yeezy, in that order.)

Then last month, Kanye West told Jimmy Kimmel he “still looks at Pornhub” and the company reached out via Twitter to offer him a lifetime subscription to Pornhub Premium. Two weeks later, he was serving as creative director for the first annual Pornhub Awards in Los Angeles, which were reportedly a disaster but came off, anyway, as a major coup.

West debuted a new music video featuring the currently incarcerated Lil Pump at the awards and brought G.O.O.D. Music signee Teyana Taylor along to perform. He dressed porn stars in the latest Yeezy collection (when he bothered to dress them at all) and arranged them onstage to accept futuristic-dildo-shaped award statues he also supposedly designed. The next day, he announced a line of Yeezy sweatshirts featuring the night’s winners, including “Nicest Tits” honoree Kendra Sunderland and “Hottest Female Ass” honoree Mia Malkova.

“Where do these [partnership] decisions come from?” Katz parrots back to me. “Well, we can’t be in mainstream spaces, so we become this outsider brand that’s doing out-there things. That’s what attracts these other brands like Richardson and Yeezy. Pornhub has an outsider quality that draws people to them.”

Here’s the rub (sorry): Per Pornhub’s own data, as of December 2017, just 26 percent of the site’s users are women.

This is not really a problem, as what Iñiguez pointed out is true: Girls didn’t have to read Playboy to buy the clothes. But it is kind of a problem, mostly because women make up a large share of the people on earth, and Pornhub has basically nowhere to go within the demographic it already serves.

So far, Pornhub has tried selling Mother’s Day–specific cardboard VR headsets, publishing site traffic insights from the day of the 2017 Women’s March, and weighing in on International Women’s Day to announce that it would change the “female-friendly” tag on its site to “popular with women.” It also pointed out that searches for Amy Schumer rose 513 percent in tandem with her Instagram post about the holiday.

“More than ever before, women are coming forward to express their desires more openly,” Price says. “And we want to provide resources to support that.”

So, this January, Pornhub debuted “F*ck Your Period.”

“There are two types of women: women who have sex on their period and women who don’t,” Katz tells me. “It’s 49 [percent] to 51,” (based on an informal Pornhub survey of its female users). With that, uh, fact in mind, Pornhub launched a campaign with the goal of explaining the health benefits of having an orgasm during your period. It made its own period calendar app and encouraged women to fill it out so that each month, they would receive a free login code for Pornhub Premium for the duration of their period. “[The goal was] to get girls to experiment with Pornhub for the first time in case they hadn’t,” Katz says. “Pornhub is a sex-friendly, female-friendly company.”

Pornhub’s cryptocurrency launch in New York. Officer & Gentleman

Yet the campaigns aimed at women are rarely the ones that blow up. In March, the site started accepting cryptocurrency as payment and had models stroll through the Financial District in Pornhub-branded ski masks, tossing plastic coins and licking the Wall Street bull’s balls. This worked: It got press.

The following month, Pornhub launched a program called “The Visionaries Director’s Club” with the aim of “[diversifying] porn production” and gave rapper Young M.A. a budget to write and produce her own pornographic short film. The company described the film in a press release, writing that it would appeal to “our progressive generation,” and adding, “While high production level lesbian content is often clearly created with the male gaze in mind, M.A’s debut film is authentic and genuine to her taste profile.”

Last month, it gave a similar budget to pansexual singer and rapper Brooke Candy, who wrote of her film, “We had the most next level crew of fine artists from all over the world and the cast of actors that I chose really had an inner beauty which they unleashed on film. It’s queer, it’s sex-positive and it’s super-hot.” This didn’t work — it got no press. But the data says that female usership of Pornhub grows every year, Price points out. So it’s fine.

As a woman who menstruates, did I know that orgasms make period cramps less painful and bleeding cycles shorter? I mean, as a woman who drinks water, did I know it keeps my organs running?

Pornhub’s brand strategy is elaborate, multifaceted, funny, and cool. It’s also as simple as a bunch of straight boys chasing what straight boys so often chase: a projection of ease and edge that makes them appealing to other boys like them, and a veneer of caring that they hope will grant them an in with women.

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Original Source -> Pornhub wants to be a lifestyle brand

via The Conservative Brief

[impossiblefesttrash-blog]

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[meditativeyoga]

How you can unwrap the amazing gift of faith

When Saint Augustine was asked to specify time, he responded, "If no person asks me, I recognize exactly what it is. If I desire to discuss it, I do not know."

I often feel similarly concerning faith.

I would absolutely explain myself a person of belief. It's challenging to supply a concrete meaning of just how I recognize it. When I claim I have belief, does it indicate I hold up some sort of naive hope? Does it imply I rely on some parental entity up in the sky running the show? Can I all at once have faith as well as be a rational, smart individual? Is it appropriate to also mention "having belief", as though it's a possession?

Asking these questions allowed me to improve my understanding as well as see that, for me, faith does not have anything to do with belief or Gods. Instead, for me faith suggests I live life relying on that love goes to operate in every scenario. This usually happens in ways the logical mind cannot totally realize, even in scenarios that might be loaded with pain as well as suffering.

Faith indicates I live life relying on that love goes to operate in every situation

Not a belief

This attitude has really little to do with belief, as a matter of fact, it is something based on direct, lived experiences.

One such experience that reinforced my faith occurred recently when my spouse and I were experiencing a hard period in our connection. For numerous months, we were trapped in a cycle of problem, misconception and also fear. At several factors, our union virtually liquified. But during many months, we resolved some deep seeded issues that had actually led to the conflict. This work broke down barriers we didn't know we had actually created in between us, as well as inevitably permitted us to be extra open, truthful and also intimate.

At the moment I was going via it, I wasn't really grateful for the difficulties. Currently that I see exactly how much it allowed us to expand, I think about the battle we went via as a gift. Just as fire is a required part of the forest's ability to restore, maybe pain was the only way to bring us to a further degree of love.

This is however one instance of a scenario when not obtaining my method was actually the best point for me, when the suffering I was running from was in fact a terrific educator in camouflage, when life was bringing me towards a much deeper understanding of love regardless of my resistance.

I don't understand if I can chalk this approximately the workings of superordinary pressures, neither if I could make any grand pronouncements regarding how it may exercise for other individuals in other conditions. I could just claim that, from my little corner of deep space, seeing love in every situation is one of the most precise method to translate my experience.

Looking back as well as realising how points do work out even when I believed they wouldn't, provides me the toughness to confront the challenges and difficulties that continuously come my way. It remains in this feeling that I stay in faith.

Just as fire is a necessary part of the forest's capability to regenerate, maybe pain was the only method to bring us to a deeper degree of love

Choice or grace

The question is whether this attitude is chosen or provided. Is it something I've earned or something I've received?

I do not have a cut as well as completely dry solution to this, because, just like most "spiritual" issues, the solution exists someplace in between. This shouldn't be uneasy, nevertheless, as mysteries often draw us in deeper to life's enigmas as well as require us to see points outside of dualistic classifications and labels.

The finest I can state is that confidence is a gift-- however one that is earned. Like dropping off to sleep, there are some energetic things you can do to set the best conditions for faith to emerge. At a particular factor, you have to set the energetic will certainly apart and also simply give up yourself.

It sometimes feels like faith is something I've chosen. I may not have the ability to select the experiences that come my method, however I do have the power to analyze them in the way I see fit.

But the concept that confidence is merely a choice is troublesome in a variety of methods. I cannot, in all sincerity, state that if I matured in different circumstances, I would have reached the same conclusions. I commonly question whether the belief I describe is based on my reasonably privileged childhood and experiences.

If I would declare that belief is totally a matter of option, it would certainly be like taking credit rating for growing a stunning blossom while overlooking the dirt that nurtured it. I can only make the "choice" to have faith due to a whole host of un-chosen factors.

paradoxes often attract us in deeper to life's mysteries and force us to see points beyond dualistic classifications and labels

Faith needs work

While it holds true that I need to really feel very privileged to have had the problems that enabled faith to blossom, healthy dirt is not everything. A good gardener likewise has to look after his plants, to sprinkle them and also avoid weeds from taking hold.

There are several others who have been elevated in similar circumstances, yet hold very different attitudes about life. There are those who fall down under the slightest little bit of enduring or critique, that will immediately dismiss any talk of things "functioning out" as juvenile fantasy. Some individuals, regardless of just how good they might have it, remain seasoned, negative and doubtful.

This is where the "work" side of faith comes into play. There are certain things that I have actually done-- that anyone could do-- to allow faith to take origin inside them.

The first and also most likely most important point that could do is meditation [or any kind of kind of contemplation] Practising mindfulness is an efficient way to counteract the natural propensity to see yourself at the centre of the world, prioritising your instant requirements and desires over all. This "default setting" leads us to obtain captured up in scenarios as well as forget the bigger image, of exactly how love could go to operate in undetected ways.

When difficulty arises, if I take the scenario as evidence that the globe protests me, that I am deserted, alone, and also condemned to suffering, after that I will certainly respond as necessary [as well as most likely make points worse]

If instead I take a step back, take a deep breath, as well as remind myself to just witness the hardship developing, I get out of my own way and also allow the situation to use me whatever lessons I should learn.

This is why confidence does not automatically go down right into your lap if x, y, z conditions are in area. You have to work to recondition and also retrain yourself to see the presence of love, because the mind has the tendency to identify and also whine about any little point that's not delivered instantly in the method it wants.

A good garden enthusiast should look after his plants, to sprinkle them and prevent weeds from taking hold

Not always easy

Seeing the world in this manner, in one sense, is very tough, since faith is easy to speak concerning when points are going well, but really challenging to apply when points obtain challenging. But in an additional sense, it's one of the most all-natural, obvious, and also easy thing in the world.

Faith did not simply show up in my life someday and also has actually existed since. There are some days when I really feel unshakable confidence in my convictions and others when I actually examine whether I'm just deceiving myself.

But faith is just one of the vital parts of my life, since it allows me to stand firm through challenging situations, to collaborate with them as creatively as possible, to proceed exploring and also showing till I can find the love that I have actually seen is present and also at the workplace in every situation.

While particular initiatives are essential to come to this vision, I additionally have to bear in mind that, like presence itself, my capacity to experience life this means is really a remarkable gift.