#i would like to say i will regret posting this in the light of day and when i'm not two drinks in
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No Nut November
Multiple character headcannons
Authors note: this is the only November post yâall r getting so hahahahahhaahah. I rushed this just today so say thank you. Bye bye. (POST-TIMESKIP!!)
Warning: kinda suggestive but like yâall donât do anything.
âYou know what time of month it is, right baby?â
You asked your boyfriend, all while adjusting your makeup in mirror a cheeky smile on your face taking a quick glance at him sitting down on your bed watching you intensely.
ââŚitâs not our anniversary, is it?â He asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.
âWhat? No, Iâm talking about it being NovemberâŚyâknow? No Nut November?â
He visibly shifts in his seat. He knew what you were going to ask him.
âyou think you can last the month? Im willing to bet on it.â
The type to not even last a day
âMan thatâs light work! I could easily last a month if I wanted toâ"
He failed.
âOkay but itâs not my fault. Y-you decided to wear that out, not me!â
âYou say it like I purposely did it to make you lose..â
âBecause you did!â
Heâs not accepting the fact that he lost on the day you challenged him.
Do you know how embarrassing that is?
Imagine how badly heâs gonna get teased by all his mates if they ever find out he couldnât help but bust one on you!
âYou better keep this between just us..â
Should he really be saying that when heâs the one who started tearing off your clothes and tossing them aside?
Should he really be saying that when heâs the one who pleaded for just a few minutes to enjoy you?
Should he really be saying that whenâ
âWhyâre you looking at me like that!â
You were looking at him like he was an idiot. You really couldnât believe what he was saying.
Was it really that bad he didnât last that long?
I mean itâs sort of flattering to you, seeing that your boyfriend could get so turned on from just you wearing a nice outfit.
âBecause you just sound stupid why canât you admit you lost and call it a day?â You huff.
âBecause it doesnât count!â
He pouts, crossing his arms in annoyance, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks as he turns away from you on the bed where you both lay bare, slick with each otherâs essences from your priorâŚactivities.
âAnd itâs stupid. This whole no nut November nonsense is stupid! I mean who would even come up with that kind of torture? why would someone want to restrict themselves from such a bliss that-"
You spend the rest of that evening listening to the poor guy complaining about how November is a stupid month.
Characters: REIGEN, Tenegn, Eren, Reiner, Hinata, Oikawa, BOKUTO, MAMMON, Leviathan, ASMODEUS, ITTO, kaeya, RAFAYEL (any character you like)
The type to last a week
âYou sure you wanna bet on that? Yâknow before we started dating I wasnât the kind of guy who needed Intimacy in their lifeâŚ"
He totally regrets saying those things because now theyâre just gnawing at him.
This is all your fault, you hear him?
You- you did something to him okay?
Never in his life has he felt soâŚsoâŚ
Vulnerable?
Jesus, this was suppose to be a walk in the park so why do you suddenly look so...sexy?
You were just watching TV, but the way you curled up on the couch made your thighs press together in a way that was hard to ignore.
And that shirt of yours?
It was barely hanging on your shoulder, giving him a peek at your bra strap, while your hand rested on your stomach, revealing just enough skin.
Damn, even the way you bit your lips without realizing it was driving him wildâhe couldnât handle a whole month of this!
He was so caught up in you that he didnât even notice how his body was inching closer.
It wasnât until you turned to him, your noses almost touching, that he realized it.
Did you eyes always look so beautiful?
And your lipsâŚthey never looked this soft before.
â..youâre so gorgeous baby, is this some kind of punishment?..â
He gently cups your cheek, his lips almost brushing against yours when suddenlyâ
âWhat are you doing?â
This snaps him out of his trance before a deep blush spread across his face.
âI-I..I dunno? You just- well I thoughtâŚâ
Yeah he sure as hell was thinking.
Thinking of all the ways he could have you!
He lets out a small whine, his brows knitting together in frustration.
âCan we justâŚnot do this challenge anymoreâŚplease?â
I mean if heâs talking to you like that, who are you to say no?
Besides you could always justâŚedge him a lil right?
Characters: REIGEN (again), SERIZAWA, Rengoku, Armin, Jean, BOKUTO (again), CHOSO, Beelzebub, DIAVOLO, ITTO (again), Thoma, LIAOS (any character you like)
The type to barely last the whole month
âWhy would you want to do that? We both know youâre not gonna make it."
âWell the challenge is for you! Not me!â
â...but my point still stands.â
His point sure as hell did stand and it hurt you to admit that he was right!
Already 17 days in and he hadnât budged an inch.
How was this man still going??
You even tried to sabotage him, sitting on his lap only for him to laugh and gently push you off.
Kissing up his neck with your arms around his waist while he made dinner only for him to ask you to grab some spices.
Even you making crude dirty jokes, only for him to blush slightly and brush you off!
This was just getting ridiculous and now you were looking like the needy one!
âFor someone who wanted me to take on this challenge, it seems like youâre the one feeling it the most.â
You shoot him a glare.
You were annoyed he was right.
Annoyed that he could still tease you, fully damn aware of what you wanted!
âYou can hold out for another 13 days canât you, sweetheart? I promise Iâll make it worth your while.â
What you didnât realize was that these last few days were weighing on your boyfriend too.
He was doing a great job of hiding it when you were around, but when he was aloneâ
âShitâŚâ
He slammed his fist against the bathroom wall at work a growing tightness forming in his pants.
You just loved to tease, didnât you?
Couldnât you see this was driving him crazy too?
And to think you could send him suchâŚthings while heâs at work!
âDamn thisâŚâ
He was going to get his revenge; mark his words. Once this month wraps up, he was going to have his way with you.
And so he did yippee!! đ
Characters: Giyuu, Kageyama, TSUKISHIMA, kuroo, IWAIZUMI, Akaashi, Ushijima, SUNA, Osamu, Geto, NANAMI, Lucifer, Satan, SOLOMON, Ayato, DILUC, Neuvillette, Writhoesley, ZHONGLI, Sylus, Zayne (any character you like)
The type to say they lasted the whole month (he jerked off)
âBabe come on, we both know I have some self restraint when it comes to you.â
âDo we?â
He shoots you a sharp look.
âYes. We do. And I find it quite offensive you donât believe I can last a simple 30 days without sex-"
You had to break it to him he couldnât touch himself.
âI-I canât?!â
Sure it was a lil surprising to him to hear that he couldnât flick his tip and buss one little nut, but hey!
That wasnât going to stop him!
I mean how would you ever find out he touched himself if you werenât there, huh?
Simple as that!
âYouâre...strangely happy today...something good happen?â
A few days had gone by since the challenge started, and November was finally winding down, which felt like a relief after those tough days.
The main reason for the struggle was your boyfriendâs constant whining about how his âbody craved some kind of touchâanything!â
Now all of a sudden heâs happy days and roses.
You were suspicious.
âWho wouldnât be? 30 days of war are finally over! Told you I could last.â
You give him a weird look.
It was almost too obvious that he had done something. That smirk was unmistakableâthe same one he wore when he knew heâd crossed a line!
The same one he flashed when heâs trying to keep his secrets under wraps!
âYou failed didnât you.â
âW-what! Whereâd ya get that idea?â
He finally admits to you after a while of back and forth he failed a few days after the night you challenged him.
At least he lasted a week in?
Characters: Dimple, Sanemi, TENGEN, Connie, Nishinoya, Ukai, Tendou, ATSUMU, GOJO, Toji, MAMMON (again), Belphagor, CHILDE, kaeya (again), CHILCHUCK, Rafayel (again) (any character you like)
#x reader#gojo smut#smut#aot smut#genshin x reader#genshin smut#itto smut#geto smut#jjk smut#haikyuu smut#bokuto smut#kaeya smut#obey me smut#demon slayer smut#reigen smut#giyuu smut#reiner smut#atsumu smut#choso smut#nanami smut#choso x reader#reigen x reader#gojo x reader#rengoku x reader#wriothesely smut#tsukishima smut#sub men#sub choso#love in deepspace#rafayel smut
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Suffering
Are you really even living? Or simply surviving doctor? When had immortality turned from a blessing into a curse? More importantly, did you really even care? Or did you only care because you're now all alone?
AKA; Ford internalizing now that he's alone and invulnerable to the sands of time. The same can't be totally said for his mental state though. After all, he's only human.
Songfic based on "Suffering" by Amelie Farren written for my Time Lord Twins AU!
I'm very delulu for my AU- so have a sneak peek into Doc's future with this song fic I wrote. I have three distinct moments for Stanford as the Doctor in my timelord twins AU:
the Doctor that neglects â when he was young and was only a Doctor thanks to his PhDs
the Doctor that regrets â present, where I normally create content for him and where his blog and RP are currently situated
the Doctor that forgets â the far flung future where he outlives everybody and completely embraces being a time lord
I'll be tagging these posts accordingly, but I'd love to talk about his lore much more if you guys are interested!
The sun had long dipped below the edge of the cosmos, surrendering to the sea of stars that now spilled across the boundless sky. Within the TARDIS, Stanford stood against the vast backdrop of that eternal night, the hum of the ship's machinery a constant, soothing drone beneath the cacophony of his thoughts. The silver pill case in his hand reflected the light of a nearby console, gleaming with a sterile brightness that made his skin crawl. He turned it over between his fingers, contemplating the small white tablets that represented his fragile tether to equilibrium.
 I've thrown aside my worries, but the cares they bite me back. I'm taking twenty vitamins a day, for the iron I lack.
 Stanford grimaced, the corners of his lips pulling downward as the familiar bitterness welled up in his throat. He tilted his head back and swallowed the pills dry, feeling them scrape down his throat as if rebelling against their purpose. Sustenance without substance, that was his life now. He no longer needed food to keep going, no longer needed the simple pleasures of livingâ he only indulged when he could remember to, when the aching loneliness hadnât numbed his senses entirely.
 I don't need food I don't need sleep, don't tell me that I'm wrong! I don't know what I'm doingâ But can you please just play along?
 The first decade had clawed at him with relentless, gnawing grief. Each year afterward seemed to find a new way to hollow him out, chiseling deeper into the marrow of his being until there was nothing left but the echo of old anguish. He would lie awake in the captainâs chair or pace the TARDIS halls, every footfall a metronome counting out regrets. Days would bleed into each other, a palette of shadows smearing over any sense of time. Heâd stopped counting birthdays after the 200th, the last one heâd shared with Stanley.
 Why count when the numbers stretched toward an infinity he wanted nothing to do with?
 My head is made of flowers, and my body made of steel. Cause I can't thinkâ Can't hearâ can't feel!
 Stanfordâs fingers flexed, muscles tightening and releasing as if testing the reality of their presence. The memories surged forward like a wave, unstoppable and suffocatingâ hands covered in grime and ash, eyes stinging from the smoke that rose like specters around him, the taste of iron sharp on his tongue. He had touched the stars, commanded them, until they burned him to cinders. His mind was an overgrown thicket now, vines of regret and bitterness weaving through every synapse, thorned reminders of a past he could neither escape nor amend.
 When he closed his eyes, he could see themâ faces etched into the void, voices calling out in anguish as they fell. Each step, each choice, stained his path with crimson guilt. He felt like a monument to grief, immovable and ever-decaying.
 They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I disagree. I can't imagine anything Cause I can't see!
 The doctor let out a breath that shuddered its way past his chest, eyes straying to the holographic stars projected across the TARDIS library. What he once chased with fervor and ambition had turned into an unyielding prison. The titles of âhealerâ and âteacherâ, which once filled him with pride, now felt like weights dragging him deeper into the abyss. What good was saving worlds when he couldnât save his own heart from splintering?
 I won't break the ice though what else Is there to do? Cause suffering in silence is betterâ
 He could scream, tear at the walls and curse the very fabric of the universe, but he didnât. The tears had dried up centuries ago, leaving him a stoic effigy among the whirring consoles and glowing monitors. The charade was familiarâ a smile that never reached his eyes, words measured and wrapped in carefully crafted ease. He was an actor in the greatest tragedy ever told, where the curtains never fell.
 Than suffering with you.
 The doctorâs gaze dropped to the leather-bound journal resting on the armrest of his chair, untouched for days. The pages within held maps of stars, sketches of constellations, and annotations written with a frantic hand, desperate to capture even a fragment of meaning. The room around him felt cavernous, echoing with memories of Dipperâs quick wit and Mabelâs bright laughter. He could almost hear them, almost see their shadows darting between bookshelves.
 But it was only him, just him, marooned in this endless stretch of time.
 So I jumped out with a parachute, but the ground caught me off guard. Karma for the rules I break, the ones I disregard.
 The temptation to go back, to step through rifts that bent reality and visit those moments, was irresistible. Heâd done it before, left the TARDIS hidden among the trees and traced the familiar paths of Gravity Falls with trembling steps. His heart would clench as he watched past versions of himself and his twin squabble over nonsense, the cheery voices of his grand niece and nephew not long to join. Their voices carrying over the wind with the kind of ease that only came before everything shattered.
 I can feel the tension rising. What fate is worse than this? Stuck between the ones I loveâ
 Heâd watch them, hidden in the shadows of his own memories, a ghost to a life he once lived. Cosmic rules be damned. Heâd listen to the echoes of their laughter until it felt like it would break him, that painful, beautiful sound that underscored just how far heâd fallen. But even then, he would not dare approach, would not dare alter a single second.
 And the ones I miss.
 Stanfordâs eyes shifted to the flickering flames of the libraryâs fireplace, its light casting restless, dancing shadows across the room. The orange glow did little to warm the chill embedded in his bones. How many Fords, across how many dimensions, would have craved this? A sanctuary lined with knowledge and power, the respect of entire galaxies balanced on a single whispered nameâ âDoctor.â And yet, it was all as hollow as the space between the stars.
 My head is made of shrubbery, and my body made of stone. Cause I can't for the life of meâ reap what I have sown!
 He tightened his hold on the armrest, the leather creaking under his grip. This wasnât how it was supposed to be. It never should have come to thisâ sailing across time, trapped in a machine that hummed with its own form of loneliness, while he wore a mask that no one ever questioned. It felt like being both the sculptor and the statue, shaping and trapped by the life heâd carved out.
 They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I disagree. I can't imagine anything, 'cause I can't see!
 The weight of immortality, once so alluring, now coiled around him like iron shackles. What did it matter if entire legions paused at the utterance of his name? What did it matter if beings far beyond human comprehension flinched at the sight of him? It meant nothing without the echoes of laughter, without the warmth of shared stories and the unspoken understanding of his familyâs presence beside him.
 I won't break the ice though what else Is there to do? 'Cause suffering in silence is betterâ
 He filled the silence with companions, short-lived stars that burned bright and fizzled out too quickly. They were there, and then they werenât. Time was relentless, wearing them down to memories while he stood unchanged. Each one chipped away at him, left him a little more hollow. His only true constant was Stanley, and even he didnât know the full story. Ford wouldnât let him, couldnât let him see that far into the dark.
 Than suffering with you.
 The TARDIS thrummed, a soft, sympathetic sound that vibrated through his bones as if it, too, mourned the lives theyâd shared and lost. Ford exhaled, the heaviness in his chest pressing down like a stone. He could carry this, he would carry thisâ because if there was one thing heâd learned in all these centuries, it was that some battles are never meant to be shared. Some wars are fought in silence, against an enemy that wore your face in the mirror.
 And if the burden grew too heavy, wellâ he was the Doctor. He would bear it alone.
 He had to.
 I try to sink and never float.
 Some days, the weight was manageable, a familiar companion that settled over him like a well-worn cloak. But tonight, the burden felt insurmountable, pressing against his chest until each breath tasted sharp, like the metallic tang of blood from battles fought too long ago to matter and yet too vivid to forget.
 Stanfordâs eyes turned to the viewport, where the stars blinked back at him with their indifferent light. Once, those points of light had been symbols of promise, of adventure and uncharted paths. Now they were cold eyes watching as he driftedâ an eternal voyager, bound by his own choices and the mistakes that clung to him like barnacles on a shipwreck.
 Cause my head is underwater.
 The doctorâs fingers found the edge of his sleeve, gripping it tight as though it could anchor him. The silence roared in his ears, the kind that made old wounds ache with the sharpness of fresh cuts. Memories of splintered wood and that familiar bite of ozone filled his senses. The frantic fight, the blinding light, the hole that had torn through his chestâ a wound that should have marked the end. He let out a shuddering breath, feeling phantom pain coil around him like a serpent.
 Iâm here by choice by my own hand.
 The most damning part was knowing that every fracture, every scar, was carved by his own hand. Heâd walked into the chaos willingly, driven by an insatiable need to prove somethingâ to whom, he couldnât even remember anymore. A need that had led him to make choices that, at best, haunted him and, at worst, had cost him everything.
 Iâm a lamb sent into slaughter.
 He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling the silver strands that had once been a youthful umber. The weight in his chest grew heavier, spreading through his limbs. He remembered the moment heâd sealed his fate with a handshake and a grin, signing away pieces of himself to a demon who promised everything and gave nothing but ruin. Even now, the jeers of that one-eyed triangle haunted the corners of his vision, mocking him with every beat of his undying heart.
 Iâm aware of my own body.
 Every nerve ending screamed in protest as memories flared to life. The repair boxâs nanobotsâ an endless legion that buzzed beneath his skinâ worked tirelessly, a ceaseless reminder that he wasnât wholly his own anymore. Some days, he could almost feel them moving, an itch he could never scratch. His hands curled into fists, knuckles turning white as he resisted the impulse to claw at the sensation, to rip it out and make it stop.
 I can feel beneath my skin.
 But he didnât. He never did. The discipline of centuries held him captive, a slave to his own stoic facade. He swallowed hard, letting the tension dissipate as much as it ever could, settling like sediment at the bottom of his soul. The fireâs light flickered over his features, casting deep shadows that made his face look carved from stone.
 I can wash away my insecurities.
 He stood abruptly, the sudden motion sending a wave of dizziness through him. The doctor steadied himself against the back of the chair, eyes closing as he drew in a breath. The act was as much a ritual as any he performedâ a way to wash the fractures of his spirit, to convince himself that he was still whole. But deep down, he knew.
 But canât wash away my sin!
 No amount of time, no act of heroism, could ever cleanse the burgundy that stained his hands. It was a truth that gnawed at him, a constant shadow that whispered during his moments of quiet. He turned toward the shelves, running a finger over the spine of a book heâd read a hundred times but never truly absorbed. Knowledge without purposeâ just like him.
 They say a pictureâs worth a thousand words, but I disagree! I canât imagine anythingâ
 The holographic stars in the library blinked and swirled, shifting constellations that once spoke of wonder and exploration. Now, they were a cruel reminder of all the places heâd been, all the faces heâd left behind. He raised a fist, hesitated, then let it fall to his side. He couldnât even find the anger to break the illusion.
 Cause I canât see!
 His vision blurred, not with tearsâ those had dried up long agoâ but with the weight of exhaustion that pressed down on him like a vice. Every accolade, every whispered praise, fell flat, their meaning washed away by the tides of time and repetition. The applause of civilizations felt no different than the hollow sound of silence.
 I wonât break the ice though what else Is there to do?
 The cold chill crept into his veins, a familiar companion that had shared his endless nights. Yet, he dared not crack the veneer heâd cultivatedâ that smile, that reassuring nod. It was a mask, as impenetrable as the TARDIS walls. To break it would mean shattering the delicate balance that kept him standing.
 Cause suffering in silence is betterâ
 Stanfordâs fingers brushed against the journal again, the touch almost reverent, as if it held the answers heâd long given up searching for. The one story he couldnât write was his ownâ each word caught in the tangle of what-ifs and could-have-beens that ensnared his mind.
 Than suffering with you!
 He swallowed back the ache, pushing it down to the depths where it simmered and seethed. To bear it alone was better; it was safer. The doctor would stand, resolute and silent, a guardian of time burdened by its cruelest truths.
 And as the night deepened, the stars outside continued their silent vigil, unmoved by the man who carried the weight of universes in his lonely fractured heart.
Tell me what you think about these two! I've got more drabbles in store for them aside from the content already on both their blogs @gftimelord & @gftimelordstwin! Also posted here on Ao3!
#gravity falls#stanford pines#gravity falls stanford#grunkle ford#gravity falls ford#ford pines#gf stanford#ford#stanford#gravity falls au#time lord twins au#the doctor that forgets#stan and ford#stan#stan pines#grunkle stan#stangst#gravity falls stanley#stan twins#stanely pines#stanley pines#stanly pines#character death
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Albedo Headcanons
A/n: Since I don't have much to post rn, I decided to go back to some of my old headcanons that I didn't publish and expand on them. These ones are all the way back from 2022 even, but I'm still happy with my portrayal of Albedo lol. Hope you all enjoy them too! I did work on these a little more, but I didn't take in consideration all the new events with Albedo after 2022. Keep that in mind.
Contents: General platonic and romantic headcanons, Albedo x GN!Reader, fluff, dash of angst if you squint really hard, self indulgent, possible grammar mistakes
General headcanons:
- Albedo is not a person who really indulges much, or at all, in friendships and relationships. He can understand the appeal, but he simply does not care as much as an average individual. He has his work to get to and his research to keep going, and the continuously taxing process of keeping relationships in general are tiring for him
- He prefers his solitude much more than any other company. He may not be in love with people much, but he is in love with the trees, the branches, the snow falling and the frozen lakes of Dragonspine - every new day means a new love for him, and he cannot wait to do his homework on anything and everything, even things he understands fully now. One thing you can equate this love of his to is the snow of Dragonspine itself, countless snowflakes hugging the lands, buried deep in crevices and cracks, trying to get to the center of the world.
- Since he has researched so much, even the smallest of new discoveries are very exciting for him, itâs those small joys that show his inner being through the smile that lights his eyes and makes the corners of them crinkle.
- Due to his drawn back nature, and his origins, he isn't so well met with emotions, so those are one of his many interests and curiosities. He is well mannered, he knows how to maneuver a situation, but when he looks back at it, he can't help but feel distant and confused - why did they get so excited over such a small thing? Why did she blush so easily? Why did that boy get so scared by some wind? Why did he find himself observing the contours of someoneâs face when he didnât know them? Why did he wish to sketch them?..etcÂ
- He doesn't think he feels sorrow/regret like the others, he isn't like the others that much is certain. Sometimes when he is alone in some comfortable space he will just stare somewhere and wonder.... how would have he turned out if he just...felt more.. What does true happiness without limitations feel like? What is freedom? Does it come without regrets? In those moments he understands what sadness is. All these thoughts make him feel so heavy, his chest is heavy and tight and his heart feels lonely. At times he thinks what would happen if one of his close co workers were to suffer an injury or quit their work for greener pastures, the field of alchemy certainly wasnât any easy one for everyone. He knows heâd miss their presence.
- There are many more complex questions that plague him late at nights, only to shrug them off like a coat in the morning in favor of his Alchemist coatÂ
- This all being said, getting close to him is more on the difficult side. Unless you are willing to pull a little more work than him and frequently check in, he simply wouldn't know how to act. He does his best where he sees he can, though. He isnât emotionless, just a bit clueless.
 - He would gladly help you, and guide you in the field of Alchemy in case you are curious about it, although he would much rather point you in the direction of a "starter mentor" first, before he offers himself as a mentor. It's not that he's underestimating you, but he feels as if giving you a good, solid start with a teacher of an "average" Alchemist would be a much easier way into the field of alchemy. In a way, you could say heâs underestimating himself in handing you the knowledge he has in a way youâll understand.Â
- Klee is one person he feels most close to. Sucrose is a capable lady, smart and close to Albedo, but Klee is someone who simply touches Albedo's heart in more ways than one. He wishes to keep her close and protect her, she feels familiar to him and gives him more sense of grounding to this world even if the responsibility of taking care of her wasnât something he initially took on by choice
- That being mentioned he definitely has great patience with her, and slowly, even if she is not really able to understand, she is teaching him to feel
Romantic:
- Everyone knows the great Alchemist is also a great artist - everyone who has gazed upon his works would say so with 100 percent certainty paired with a couple more flattering words. Yet Albedo would shrug those compliments off and politely counter their words; a simple thank you does it
- He does not really see much of sentiment in those pieces of artwork as much as he does in the art he did of you
- Those are his favorite pieces. He loves to capture every detail of you whenever he can - the way your nose scrunches, the way your brow quirks, the way you lay down after a long day, the way the wind blows through your hair, the way your hands are after having them soaked in water for too long or when theyâre cold..
- He is still quite reluctant about initiating contact, especially the physical one due to his lack of proper experience on the topic. Most information he has was read from books or heard from his fellow Knights, but none worth mentioning or trying in practice in interactions with you
- So it takes much, much for him to warm up to the ideas, you will have to initiate things slowly, so he can warm up to those touches initiated by you as well but he does his own part in reciprocating and returning those small affections
- The best ways of bonding together is babysitting Klee honestly; drawing, searching nature for anything of interest..etc. So that being said his love languages are quality time, after that it would be acts of service and after that words of affirmation.Â
⸠n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
#Genshin Impact#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin headcanons#genshin impact x reader#genshin albedo#albedo x reader#albedo kreideprinz#albedo kreideprinz x reader#albedo headcanons#albedo fluff#yes i kin albedo how did you know#fluff#headcanons#romantic#platonic#gn reader#albedo imagine
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There are four reasons I will block you on Tumblr:
1) Youâre a Nazi.
2) Youâre a pornbot.
3) Youâre a Jiang Cheng anti with poor reading comprehension and way too much time on your hands to junk up the tag.
4) Youâre a demonstrated abuse enabler who helped destroy a manâs life and career by making a mockery of the deadly issue of intimate partner violence because you A) wanted ammunition for your petty, puerile shipwar and/or B) wanted an excuse to indulge your cruelty and viciousness in a hypocritical effort to feel morally superior even as your actions gave the lie to your insistence that âno one deserves to be abusedâ and âvictims donât have to be perfect.â
I might have more to say about that last one, at some point this weekend. Things have been too busy for me to say much so far this week, but Iâm still jacked up to 10, and Iâm not ready to make nice, as the lady once said.
#i would like to say i will regret posting this in the light of day and when i'm not two drinks in#but honestly i don't know that i will regret it#build jakapan#kinnporsche cast#kinnporsche#yeah i did put it in the main tag#because you know what?#he's part of the show#and anyway it's not like anyone who ought to see this will actually see it#because i've got a rogue's gallery on my block list that's as long as my arm
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Zaeed's loyalty mission really would have been better if the mission was explicitly to take out Vido and we knew this beforehand, and freeing the hostages technically wasn't what Zaeed was being paid for here.
Then it's "do the mission to the letter, take out a really bad guy and get Zaeed's loyalty at a cost" as the renegade option and "fail the mission (and Zaeed) and save the hostages" as a paragon option.
Because even for a renegade Shep. Letting Zaeed go the fuck off, blow up a refinery, bitch at you, and leave a bunch of people to die just so Zaeed can get some revenge and feel good about himself and be more loyal is a lot to swallow.
Not impossible to justify by any means (I make Ezra do it and he's not even really a renegade lol), and not every renegade option needs to be super justifiable. But it is a lot. Some of that even being directly contradictory to how renegades are typically characterized (saying fuck you you're acting crazy to Zaeed is kind of renegade to me tbh).
Vido is a bad dude that needs taken out and Zaeed will claim killing him solves a lot of problems, and I don't doubt it, but it would've been better justified if Vido was on our radar beforehand and needing to explicitly take him out was what we were here to do (Zaeed can still not reveal his personal stake until we get there, that I like).
#not my original idea I saw a post like this once#Ezra's justification is along the lines of âwe're in this exploding refinery and I don't want to be in itâ#but he comes to really regret it to the point where I'm not sure if I should really be keeping it canon#because punching Zaeed's lights out and then pulling him close and going âwe're saving these peopleâ#and later going âI'm only helping you out if you do what the fuck I sayâ is very Ezra coded.#But also he's not super on it in the early days of me2 and I want him to have *some* fuckups and renegade points so#Also difficult to imagine most of the squad just being okay with it.#I've joked but I think Samara under normal circumstances *would* be obligated to kill Zaeed right there. No question.#it's not great either way but it's more justified if getting Vido was the mission and it puts Shepard in an interesting position#of how far to go for the mission (especially since didn't Saren do something similar)
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Overtime
Summary: Sometimes, working overtime isnât all that bad.
Pairings: Loki x Female Reader
Warnings: Smut, 18+ minors DNI, sex, cunnilingus, teasing, light bondage, office romance.
Series: Overtime (I don't have a masterlist for this, but if you enjoy these idiots, check out Daylight, a sort of sequel).
A/N: This was largely written prior to season 2 and posted right before episode 4, so itâs not entirely canon compliant and the parts that are may be compliant by accident.
Also, @give-me-a-moose and I were on a similar wavelength about Loki angrily reading romance novels and I would strongly recommend checking out her fic The Imagine Nation if you too are enthralled by this idea.
You donât think that Mobius intended to keep Lokiâs desk behind yours.
âItâs temporary,â he tells you apologetically. âHe just needs somewhere to go for now, until I figure out what to do with him.â
âYouâre talking about him like heâs a stray cat that you found,â you say.
âYou wonât even know heâs there, I promise.â
âYouâre still doing it.â
Mobius sighs and puts on his most sincere, earnest expressionâthe one that he always uses when heâs about to ask you for a stupidly massive favor.
And itâs only because you almost never, ever see this look from him that you back down.
âOkay, fine,â you say. âBut heâd better be on his best behavior.â
Mobius puts his palms together and tips them toward you. âThank you. You will not regret this, I promise.â
You sigh and shake your head. âJust remember this next time youâre budgeting for raises.â
But thenâin a move that you certainly donât expectâLoki ends up sticking around. And, in the subtle way that the stray youâve been feeding slowly turns into your cat, Lokiâs temporary desk becomes his permanent desk. And strangely enough, Mobiusâ assurances turn out to be more correct than not: Loki does a lot of fieldwork and is often away; when he is at his desk, it tends to be because he is working on more complicated missions, the ones that require poring over mountains of files looking for patterns and trying to untangle the slippery mess of time itself.
Your work is decidedly less glamorous than Lokiâsâalmost no fieldwork, lots of files. Endless files. Some days you feel as though you must have seen every file in the TVAâs extensive library and then youâre immediately proven wrong by another wing of filing cabinets that you swear wasnât even there before.
Although he is generally well-behaved as your desk neighbor, Lokiâs presence has a way of distracting you. Even if you didnât know who he was, your gaze would still naturally drift his way, lingering on those regal cheekbones, that ink black hair, that cunning smirk. The way that the fabric of his dress pants clings to his thighs certainly doesnât help, to say nothing of how his forearms look with his shirtsleeves rolled up. He can make your heart start to race with no more than a casual glance in your direction and god help you if he gives you one of those devastating smiles. Luckily, you donât think he takes that much notice of you. You have the sort of pleasantly dull exchanges of coworkers who donât really know each other and he is almost painfully polite to you. Itâs a strong departure from the way he interacts with othersâwith others, he is bold, charming, sarcastic, talkative, a far cry from the more subdued, almost courtly tone he strikes with you. Itâs a difference that is so stark that you canât help but attribute it to some sort of negative feeling on his end.
âHowâs it going with Loki?â Mobius asks you during a one-on-one meeting a couple of months after Lokiâs temporary desk becomes his permanent desk. âHeâs behaving himself, right?â
âItâs been fine,â you say, âthough truthfully, I donât think he likes me all that much.â
âWhat? Of course he likes you,â Mobius says. âWhy wouldnât he like you? Youâre lovely.â
You shrug. âI dunno, heâs just different with me than he is with everyone else. LikeâŚoverly polite. Itâs like he thinks Iâm going to send him to the principalâs office or something.â
âLet me get this straight,â says Mobius. âFirst you were worried that he wouldnât behave himself and now youâre worried that heâs too well-behaved?â
Privately, you realize he has a point. Outwardly, though, youâre not going to admit it. The sardonic tilt of Mobiusâ mouth suggests that he knows this.
âNo, I justâŚI donât think he likes me all that much,â you say. âAnd heâs entitled to that. People donât like each other all the time, itâs not a big deal.â
This is also a little bit of a lieâyou do wish he liked you. Loki is so magnetic itâs hard not to want his attention. And with the matter of your silly little crush, wellâŚthat doesnât help either.
Mobius sighs. âI think youâre overthinking this. He likes you, sometimes it just takes him a little time to warm up. Heâs a bit of a prickly guy.â
You bite down the urge to point out that youâve seen him warm to other people almost immediately. This conversation has already gone on longer than you want and you are edging dangerously close to having to admit that you care so much because you have a big stupid crush on him, which is obviously unacceptable.
âWell, the point is that itâs fine,â you say quickly, trying to project an aura of cool confidence. âI donât have any complaints, he seems like heâs settling in, so letâs move on. Did you have any feedback on my recent report?â
The furrow between Mobiusâ eyebrows deepens just slightly, the only indication that he doesnât fully believe you. But for whatever reason, he decides to let it go and follows your change in topic without further comment.
This is one of the reasons you like Mobius as much as you do: he always seems to know the right moment to push and the right moment to bend.
Youâre not sure if your relationship with Loki would have changed had it not been for the problem of Charles Berlitz.
The joke around the office is that after Mobius convinced Loki to work for the TVA, he needed something new to obsess over and Charles Berlitz was the next best option. Itâs hard to say exactly who Berlitz is, as he has a tendency of showing up, wellâŚeverywhere. He is quite literally in every timeline, at least as far as anyone can tell. Sometimes he is an author, penning serious, scholarly essays on outlandish theories like the Bermuda Triangle and the Philadelphia Experiment. He seems to have a fondness for all manner of schemesâhe was responsible for introducing both homeopathy and multi-level marketing to no fewer than sixty different timelines. His ability to peddle bullshit naturally led him to politicsâpick any rebellion, coup, or campaign on any given timeline and thereâs a good chance youâll also find Charles Berlitz.
Scammers and con artists are not atypical in your line of work, but what makes Charles Berlitz an enduring mystery is that he has never been found. You can have reputable documentary evidence that Berlitz was present at a certain time and location, but if you show up to investigate, he is never there. There have been some glimpses over the yearsâa shadowy face in the back of a crowd, the hem of a cloak disappearing behind a cornerâbut nothing concrete or substantive.
âOur ghost in the timeline,â Mobius had said in one of his more poetic moments at an all staff meeting, his voice overly hushed and dramatic. You had seen Loki roll his eyes and you had to fake a coughing fit to hide your laugh.
Time moves differently at the TVA, so itâs hard to say how long Mobius has been working on this case when he makes a breakthrough, but itâs not terribly long after your conversation about Loki. A campaign button had been found in an apartment that Berlitz rented for two years in the French Quarter. That particular campaign button could only have existed in one specific timeline and its distribution was limited. You arenât entirely clear on all of the details, but Mobius seems to have a plan.
And unfortunately, that plan involves you giving up most of your weekend to work.
Itâs near quitting time on what passes for a Friday at the TVA. Loki has been in today and you can hear him starting to pack up. Technically, heâs got twenty minutes of work left, but youâre not about to tell him that.
You doodle absently on your notepad. Technically, youâve also got twenty minutes of work left, but realistically: nothing is happening.
���Oh, great, youâre both still here.â
In general, this phrase has never meant good news for you and when you look up, you see Mobius with a sizable armful of files.
Also not a great sign.
Mobius plunks the stack of files directly on your desk. âThereâs been a development with Berlitz. I need you both to review these now.â
âItâs Friday,â says Loki, affronted. âSurely it can wait until Monday.â
âNo can do. I need this done by Sunday at the latest,â says Mobius. âThis is an all hands on deck situation.â
Loki glances pointedly at the office around you, which has already started emptying out for the weekend.
âAll hands on deck, but most hands are already in the field,â Mobius concedes. âWhich is why I need the two of youââ He points to you. âYou because youâre goodââ He gestures to Loki. âAnd you because youâve got desk duty.â
âI beg your pardonââ begins Loki.
âHeâs grounded,â Mobius says to you in an exaggerated stage whisper.
This is not surprising to you: you had heard a rumor last week about an incident that had occurred on a mission to the inauguration of Richard Nixon and you suspect that these two events are likely connected.
You look at the pile of paperwork on your desk. You could probably get through it on your own in a couple of hours, but if Lokiâs helping, maybe you still have a shot at having Saturday to yourself. You bite back a sigh. âWhat do you need me to find?â
âAnything that mentions anyone from the Lucchese crime family or Nero Variant N2815,â says Mobius. âIâll go get the rest.â
Your heart sinks. Farewell, Saturday. âThereâs more?â you say.
âItâll be triple overtime, I already got it approved!â he calls over his shoulder
You sigh and glance at Loki who is scowling at the pile of files as though theyâd wronged him personally.
Thereâs a long moment of silence before you speak. âIs there any truth to the rumor Iâve been hearing about the Nixon inauguration?â you ask.
âIf it involved a hot air balloon, then yes,â he says rather tonelessly.
âWell.â You pause as you stare at the pile of papers. âAt least it was worth it.â
That at least earns you a hint of a smile.
*
Several hours later, your stomach is growling and youâve developed a rather impressive crick in your neck.
You lean back in your chair, stretching your neck to the side and rubbing the knot that is pulsing in your upper trapezius. Office work has done nothing positive for your posture in general, but tonightâs work has you hunched over more than usual and your neck is aching.
You and Loki have made good progress, but your pile of finished and sorted files is scarcely comparable to the full cart that Mobius had brought in. Back when the evening was new and you werenât quite so tired, youâd been optimistic about possibly having half a Saturday free from work; that hope has slipped away the longer the evening has dragged on. Now youâre hoping that youâll still have a bit of Sunday to yourself and even that feels unlikely.
Your stomach growls again. You should probably eat somethingâyouâd worked through your regular dinner hour in a fit of misplaced optimism. The cafeteria is closed this time of night, but thereâs a vending machine not far from your office that has shitty coffee and mostly edible sandwiches.
You stand and stretch, stifling a yawn as you turn around. âIâm gonna grab a coffee and some dinner,â you say. âDo you want anything?â
Loki looks up at you from the file in front of him, blinking somewhat dazedly and running a hand through his messy curls. âIâd like to stretch my legs a bit, if you donât mind the company.â
You honestly didnât expect him to want to join you. Itâs a pleasant surprise, certainly, but also a little nerve wracking in the way that interacting with Loki always is. Heâs so handsome and aloof and youâre not quite sure how to talk to him without acting like a total fool.
But youâre also not about to say no, either.
âOf course,â you say, âI donât mind at all.â
The TVA is unusually quiet at this time of nightâthe steady hum of fluorescent lights and the murmur of distant voices is all that accompanies the tap of your shoes on the linoleum. It only heightens the jittery, nervous feeling you get from Lokiâlike your stomach is filled with drunk, lightning struck butterflies.
âAre you finding much?â asks Loki as you enter the hallway together.
You shrug. âA bit. Mostly on the Nero variant. Iâm not having as much luck with the Luccheses.â
âIâve got all of their property transfers, I think,â he says. âRenato Lucchese never met a vineyard he didnât like.â
âOr racehorses, from what I understand,â you say. âI think thatâs how he lost most of his money.â
You arrive at the vending machines. Loki looks at the vending machines and then back at you, a somewhat puzzled and troubled expression on his face.
âThis is what you meant when you said you were going to get coffee and dinner?â he says.
You shrug. âYeah, whatâs wrong with this?â
He points at the coffee machine. âMobius calls that machine Satanâs coffeemaker, does he not?â
âYes, but I know how to trick it into giving me something thatâs almost palatable,â you say.
Loki gives you a rather dry look. âSomething thatâs almost palatable?â
âI mean, Iâm just trying to manage your expectations. Itâs still pretty shitty coffee, it just tastes less burned.â
He looks at you for a long moment before tilting his head toward the hallway. âCome on, letâs go.â
Itâs your turn to look skeptical. âWhat are we doing?â
âWeâre going out for dinner.â
*
He takes you to a twenty-four hour diner called Frankâs thatâs maybe a five minute walk from the TVA. Itâs one of those places with yellowing Formica tables and big booths covered in red faux leather patched with the occasional square of duct tape. It smells like coffee and grease with a faint odor of cigarette smoke despite the prominent no smoking signs.
âI wouldnât have thought this kind of place was your style,â you say as you sit down in a booth next to the window.
âIâve expanded my horizons,â he says, sliding into the seat across from you.
An older woman with greying blonde hair approaches your booth. She wears a nametag reading âConnieâ in big capital letters, a sticker of a pink cat stuck on the space next to her name.
âHow yâall doinâ tonight?â she says as she hands you each a laminated menu. She looks at Loki. âYou want your usual?â
âPlease,â he says.
âYou got it.â She turns to you. âHow âbout you, hon, can I get ya started with something to drink?â
âCoffee would be great.â
âAll right, Iâll be right back with your drinks.â
You raise your eyebrows at Loki as she walks away. âYou eat at diners and you have a usual order. My expectations are being completely upended.â
He returns your pleasantly amused expression. âAnd you have vending machine coffee for dinner. Itâs a revealing night.â
âI mean, I donât actively seek it out,â you say. âItâs a convenient option that I exercise only when I have no other choice.â
âNo other choice?â A sly smile curls at his lips. âDo you not have the entire array of space and time at your fingertips?â
âWell, first of all, we arenât supposed to use TemPads for personal errands without a supervisorâs approval.â
âTechnically.â
âNo, actually. Itâs in the personnel manual. Like verbatim.â
He raises an eyebrow. âYou would put yourself through the egregious physical suffering of vending machine coffee simply to appease the capricious whims of our cruel overseer Miss Minutes?â
You bite back a laugh. âYou know sheâs not actually our boss, right?â
âI canât discount that possibility. She wields a concerning amount of power within the organization.â
Connie is back with your drinksâcoffee for you and tea for Loki. âSunday Special?â she asks Loki as she sets a metal teapot and empty mug in front of him.
âPlease,â he says.
âYou got it.â She looks at you. âDidya get a chance to look at the menu or do you need a minute?â
Youâre feeling a little daring. âIâll try the Sunday Special as well.â
âAll right, two Sunday Specials cominâ right up,â she says, collecting your menus.
âSo, whatâs in a Sunday Special?â you ask Loki as you take a sip of your coffee.
âBoiled fish eggs, mainly,â he says, pouring the hot water into his tea mug.
âLiar,â you say promptly.
He raises an eyebrow. âYou didnât even look at the menu, how could you know?â
âPlaces like this donât serve fish eggs,â you say. âWay too unusual and definitely the wrong price point.â
âI suppose youâll just have to see,â he says with a playful glint in his eyes. The easy charm that youâve seen him use with the others is on full display and itâs enough to make you giddy. Maybe he doesnât dislike you after all.
âWell, if itâs fish eggs, youâre picking up the bill,â you say, âand Iâll be getting something else instead.â
âYouâd really hold me responsible for your impulsive dinner selections?â
âYep. And I donât even feel bad about it.â
He raises an eyebrow. âI didnât realize you could be so unforgiving.â
âWell, you donât know me all that well.â
âTo be fair, you keep to yourself quite a bit.â
âA little bit,â you say. âBut also to be fair, you havenât really asked.â
âOn work time?â he says, widening his eyes in mock horror. âThat would mean write ups for both of us, I couldnât let that happen.â
âI think I know enough about you to know that getting in trouble is not one of your primary concerns.â
He gives you a sly smile, like youâve caught him out and he likes it. âThatâs a diplomatic way to put it.â He takes a sugar packet from the dispenser on the table and tears it open before pouring it into his mug. âWell, weâre on break now, so you can safely tell me something about yourself.â
You drum your fingers on your coffee mug. âWhat do you want to know?â
âWell, this canât be the only part of your life. Who are you outside the TVA? What did you do before this?â
That giddy feeling comes to a screeching halt and you take in a long, slow breath. Itâs a simple question, one that most people can answer to some degree. For you, though, itâs a bit more complicated.
âWell,â you say. You take a sip of your coffee, mostly to give your hands something to do. âI donât actually knowâI chose not to remember when they gave me the option.â
Youâre surprised by how gentle his eyes are when you look up. âMy apologies,â he says, âI didnât realize.â
âItâs okay,â you say and you really do mean it. âYou couldnât have known.â
Usually, you say something like this and then gently redirect the conversation, but something about the way heâs looking at you makes you want to continue. Like maybe he understands difficult things and doesnât mind hearing about something that others would shy away from.
âWhen they told us everything and said they could fix our memoriesâŚâ You clear your throat and focus your gaze just above his shoulder. âItâs weird, but I just had a feeling that it wouldnât be good for me to knowâŚthat something really bad had happened. So I asked Mobius to check for me, just to be sureâŚâ You swallow, blinking hard.
You remember how sad Mobiusâ eyes were, how heâd gently placed a hand on your shoulder and said, âI think youâre making the right call, kid.â
âItâs not really okay, is it?â Loki says softly.
You shrug. âI mean, itâsâŚit is what it is.â
âYouâre a terrible liar, you know.â
âItâs not a lieââ
He raises a skeptical eyebrow and you remember that he is, in fact, the god of lies.
âItâs more likeâŚI canât really miss what I donât know, but at the same time, the reality of that absence hurts a little. So maybe not exactly okay, but not exactly not okay, either.â
Thereâs a lot of kindness in his gaze and you have to look away because it makes your head spin and your breath catch in your throat. âIâm not really sure if that makes sense,â you say.
âIt does.â
Thereâs a silence between you, but itâs not uncomfortable.
âDo youâŚdo you think youâd want to forget if you had that option?â Youâre not entirely sure what prompts the question and you regret it almost as soon as it leaves your mouth. âIâm sorry, thatâs probably too personal.â
He shakes his head and thereâs a warmth in his eyes that you donât expect. âI rather think I owe you one.â He pauses, running a finger around the rim of his mug. âSometimes I do,â he says finally. âIt can be quite painful remembering.â He worries his lip between his teeth. âBut Iâm not sure who I would be without the knowledge of my past, either.â His gaze flicks back to you. âWhatâs it like for you? Do you feel like you know who you are without those memories?â
Itâs a good questionâone youâve never been asked. âI mean, itâs hard to say for sure. I think I do,â you say. âSometimes I wonder if I was different in my timeline. Maybe I was kinder because I had different experiences that made me more empathetic. Maybe I wasnâtâmaybe I was worse. Maybe I had a villain arc.â
He chuckles. âThat doesnât seem likely.â
âI dunno, maybe it explains the vending machine coffee and my fish egg related threats,â you say and you feel almost giddy when he returns your smile. âOr maybe Iâm the same and all those experiences that shaped me are just scars I canât see.â You shrug and take a sip of your coffee. âAt the end of the day, though, that timeline is gone. Iâm all thatâs left. Itâs sad, but itâs also freeing, in a way.â
He nods. âMobius has said much the same.â
You smile slightly. âOur philosophies are similar, I suppose, though I think there are probably more bits of his past self in his present self than he realizes.â
Loki grins. âItâs the jet skis, isnât it?â
âI mean, I just donât think most normal people spend that much time expounding on the reliability of the Yamaha engine versus the pure, raw power of the Kawasaki.â
Loki holds up a finger. âBut have you gotten the lecture about Yamahaâs braking system?â
âI think I have that memorized at this point.â
ââThe perfect choice for families.ââ
ââYou just tap the brakes. Just tap them. Perfectly smooth stop every time.ââ
ââReliability meets affordability.ââ
ââYou canât say no to that.ââ
You think you probably could have riffed on this for a bit, but youâre interrupted by the arrival of Connie with your dinner.
The Sunday Special turns out to be a fairly traditional breakfastâeggs, hash browns, two fluffy pancakes, sausage, toast, a little bowl of strawberries.
âDefinitely lots of fish eggs in this meal,â you say to Loki after Connie leaves.
His smile is small, but genuine. âYou havenât looked under the pancakes yet.â
You feel it then, but you donât fully understand until later that this dinner has unlocked something important between the two of you. After months of awkward, stilted conversation, itâs like you finally understand how to talk to each other. And youâre surprised to find that even outside of your big stupid crush, you actually like Loki. You like his sly smiles and his dry humor and how easily the two of you fall into a routine of playful banter. You click in a way that surprises you, in a way that makes you mourn the lost potential of all those awkward, stilted months and feel giddy about the possibilities ahead.
Dinner is over too soon and you walk back to the TVA feeling revived from the coffee and the conversation.Â
Disaster awaits you back at the office, though: youâd left a stack of the Nero variant files on your desk and evidently the construction was too precarious, as the entire pile had tipped off your desk and spilled to the floor, contents scattered everywhere.
âFucking hell,â you sigh, running a hand through your hair. Youâre not sure whether you want to laugh, cry, or scream. Possibly, itâs all three.
âHere.â Loki is bending down on the floor to gather the files. You studiously try to not ogle his ass or thighs. Or at least not obviously. âClear off some space on your deskâIâll help.â
Twenty minutes later, youâve set up an entirely new systemâLoki has dragged his chair over to your desk and the cart of unsorted files sits between you, like a surly metallic chaperone. And even later when youâve sorted out all of the files from the floor, he remains parked at the end of your desk, a stack of new, unsorted files in front of him. Admittedly, itâs a lot more efficient for you to work like this: privately, though, it gives you a warm glow that has nothing to do with workplace efficiency.
âIâve invented a new game,â he says some time later.Â
âWhatâs that?â
âEvery time either one of us finds documentation showing Renato Lucchese losing money on a racehorse he was told was not a good investment, I get to have a drink.â
You look up at him. âLook, I know youâre a god and everything, but I am pretty sure that will kill you.â
He sighs and tosses the file into the Lucchese pile. âI think it would add a little excitement to the evening, donât you?â
You raise your eyebrows and look back at the file in front of you. âYou mean this isnât your idea of a fun Friday night?â
âMy idea of a fun Friday night includes far fewer files and a lot more debauchery,â he says, taking a new file from the cart.
You glance at the clock. âWell, itâs only eleven. I donât usually start body shots until after midnight.â
âWhat are body shots?â
For one horrifying moment, you think that youâre going to actually have to explain this to him, but then you get a good look at his expression.
Heâs teasing you.
âYouâre an ass,â you say, swatting him on the shoulder with the file youâre holding.
He wags a finger at you. âThatâs workplace violence. Iâm going to have to report that.â
You lean back in your chair and return to your file. âIâm pretty confident that youâll be put off by the amount of paperwork that process requires.â
He shakes his head as he returns to his own file. âUncontrolled bureaucracy is how bad actors escape accountability.â Thereâs a brief pause. âAndâŚthereâs another racehorse.â
You continue on like this for the rest of the evening, occasionally chatting and Loki proving definitively that the Renato Lucchese racehorse drinking game could not be played without resulting in a fatality. Itâs nice, though. Yes, itâs sorting files and yes, itâs not the most intellectually riveting task youâve ever done, but spending time with Loki is nice. Itâs because of this that you find yourself trying to stay awake, pushing past your looming exhaustion.
But around two, you canât quite fight the heaviness of your eyelids any longer and you doze off in the middle of a report on the sinking of the Lusitania.
âHey.â Loki is gently shaking your shoulder. The way he says your name in that deliciously deep voice makes you want to swoon and youâre glad that you have the ready made excuse of sleepiness to explain any embarrassing behavior on your end.
âI think youâd better call it a night,â he says gently. âGet some sleep and come back with fresh eyes.â
âWhat about you?â you say. âAre you going to do the same, or are you just all talk?â
He smiles at you and it warms you to the very tips of your toes. You could bask in that smile like a cat in a sunbeam.
âIâm starting to fade a bit myself,â he says
âVery convenient,â you say and he grins at you.
âCome on, Iâll see you back home.â
Part of you wants to protestâthereâs really no need for him to walk you homeâbut a larger, louder part of you wants to let it be, prolong the magic of tonight for just a little longer.
Thereâs a comfortable silence between the two of you as you walk out of the office together.Â
âWhat time do you think youâre going to come in tomorrow?â he asks as you approach the residential wing. âItâs probably sensible to coordinate our efforts a bit.â
âYeah, thatâs a good point,â you say. âI was thinking nine, but that will be dependent on how much coffee I have.â
âYes, about that,â he says. âI cannot stand idly by and watch you torture yourself with vending machine coffee.â
âWell, the cafeteria will be open, so I was going to torture myself with cafeteria coffee, which is at least thirty percent less over brewed.â
He clicks his tongue. âYouâre not making a compelling case for yourself.â
âTo be fair, itâs quite late and Iâve been staring at files for hours.â
âAll the more reason to get decent coffee,â he says. âWeâre going out for breakfast.â
You raise an eyebrow. âOh, we are?â
âConsider it an intervention,â he says. âIâll come collect you at eight.â
Youâre not quite sure if this is just his natural confidence and swagger coming through or if heâs flirting with you and this counts as a date.
âWhere are we going?â
âI know a place.â
*
The place in question turns out to be a food cart in Central Park in 1998.
âShould I even bother asking if you have supervisor approval for this?â you say, looking skeptically at the time door glimmering before you.
Loki scoffs. âI donât have a supervisor.â
âYou do. Itâs Mobius.â
âThat canât be right, weâre peers.â
âYouâre absolutely not. Did you read any of the onboarding materials?â
He ignores your question. âI donât see why Iâd even need a supervisor, honestly.â
You snort. âNeed I remind you of what happened at the Nixon inauguration?â
He spreads his hands in front of him. âItâs not my fault that Iâm the only one with a sense of humor.â
âIâm not entirely sure that was the problem,â you say. âGerald Ford is never going to be the same, from what I understand.â
Loki waves a dismissive hand. âHeâll be fine, the tail isnât permanent. Now, are you coming or not?â
You roll your eyes at him and make a halfhearted complaint about proper protocol, but you know that youâre walking through that time door and not looking back. You knew that before he even posed the question.
The food cart is owned by a man named Samir who has a wide smile and booming laugh. He talks to Loki like heâs a friend and he tells you that you have the prettiest eyes heâs ever seen. You are fairly certain heâs exaggerating, but you stuff a few extra bills into the tip jar anyway.
âI canât believe you fell for that,â says Loki as you walk away, each carrying a coffee and a brown paper bag with a breakfast sandwich.
âFell for what?â you say, batting your eyes at him. âI do have beautiful eyes.â
âIâve heard him say that on at least thirty separate occasions.â
âYeah, but this time he really meant it. I could tell.â
He rolls his eyes and leads you to a park bench overlooking a wide, grassy field. The leaves are just starting to change and the air has a little bit of a bite to it.Â
You sit down on the bench and take a sip of your coffee.
âIt is good coffee, Iâll give you that,â you say.
âSee,â says Loki, âyou canât go back to that vending machine sludge after this.â
âI mean, if itâs eleven oâclock at night and Iâm on a deadline, I can.â
âDarling. You have a TemPad.â
âLoki. Read the personnel manual.â
He wrinkles his nose. âItâs not really my genre.â
You roll your eyes and take out your breakfast sandwich. âWhat is your genre?â
He raises an eyebrow. âIs that a serious question?â
âOf course it is,â you say. âI love talking about books.â
He gives you a slight smile and takes a sip of his coffee. âA little bit of everything, honestly,â he says. âPhilosophy. Magical theory. History. Politics. Anything from Asgard, really, though it can be a bit more challenging getting some of those titles.â
âIâve had pretty good luck with the Library of the Sacred Timelineâhave you checked there yet?â
He frowns. âIâm not familiar.â
âOh, youâd like itâitâs on the eighteenth floor. Itâs intended to be a collection of the greatest works of literature from as many branches of the timeline as possible,â you say. âIt started as a research project, but people liked it and it just kind of evolved into this huge collection. Theyâve actually got a pretty sizeable collection of books from Asgard.â
Itâs like youâve told him that his personal paradise had been located on the eighteenth floor this entire time. âWill you show me?â
He is practically vibrating with the sort of anticipatory, manic energy that you typically would associate with Christmas morning right before you tear into presents. Itâs sweetly endearing.
âOf course.â
Ten minutes later, youâre leading him through the winding hallways on the eighteenth floor. Youâre not surprised he hasnât heard about the libraryâitâs a bit out of the way and the eighteenth floor is so poorly designed that itâs not terribly easy to find.
The design of the library is a sharp departure from the rest of the TVA. The shelves and floors are made of the kind of dark mahogany that you typically see in the kind of estates that look like something directly out of a Jane Austen novel. Worn oriental rugs muffle your footsteps on the creaky wood floors and the air smells faintly of dust and paper.
Thereâs a subtle change in Loki when you walk through the doorsâalmost like a muscle in his shoulders finally relaxes and he seems truly at home for the first time since he arrived.
You touch his hand. âThis way.â
You lead him into the stacks, back to the far corner, right after the books from Alfheim.
âYou can borrow whichever ones you like,â you say softly. âThereâs a sign out sheet at the front desk.â
He nods, though you donât think he really hears youâhe only has eyes for the shelves, his gaze sweeping across the spines like theyâre old friends. Youâre about to excuse yourself to give him a little privacy when his brow furrows and he exhales sharply. âOh, you canât be serious.â
âWhat is it?â
They have the entirety of the finest Asgardian literature at their disposal. Untold centuries of the writings of our greatest mindsââ he plucks a book off the shelf, ââand they choose to include this?â
The title looks fairly innocuousâa red, leather bound book with the title The Cloistered Heart embossed in gold script on the front. You take the book from him and open it. âWhatâs the problem with this?â
âItâs inconsequential fluff, literary pablum of the highest order.â
This is the Loki that youâre more familiar with and a smile curls at your lips. Almost on cue, you flip the book open to a chapter titled âThe Wedding and Bedding of Aloisa.â
You bite back a laugh and look up at him. âItâs a romance novel.â
âPrecisely my point,â he says. âTo think that this is on the same shelf as Nielsen and Auber.â
âThatâs kind of how libraries work,â you say, flipping further into the book. The phrases âthrobbing lengthâ and âeager moansâ draw your eye and you have to tamp down another laugh. âOh, and itâs a sexy romance novel.â
âIt appeals to the lowest common denominator, yes.â
âWhat, so youâre too good for a bodice ripper?â
He scoffs. âI prefer to do the bodice ripping myself, not read some overwrought description of it.â
You are glad youâre looking at the book because youâre pretty sure youâd disintegrate if you had to make eye contact with him while he delivered that line. âOh spare me,â you say lightly, snapping the book shut and drawing it to your chest. âIâm gonna read this.â
He blows out a puff of air. âItâs a waste of your time.â
âIâve got lots of time, I can afford to waste it,â you say cheekily. âBesides, Iâm curious to see what kind of book turns the god of mischief into a pearl clutching prude.â
Loki sputters. âPrude? Darling, let me assure you, Iâm no prudeââ
âIâll leave you to browse,â you say with a grin as you turn away from him. âCome find me at the front when youâre ready to go.â
Youâre a few chapters into the book when Loki rejoins you at the front of the library, a small stack of books tucked under his arm.
You close your book with a snap. âThis book is a delight. I think your real issue is just that youâre no fun.â
He scoffs. âIâm very fun.â
âCouldâve fooled me.â
You bicker playfully back and forth as you check out your books and leave the library. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you spent much more time there than youâd planned. You canât quite bring yourself to worry about that, though, not with the memory of Lokiâs wonderstruck expression burning so bright in your mind.
Thereâs a bit of a lull in the conversation as you wait for the elevator.
âThank you,â he says softly.
âFor what?â
âFor showing me that.â
âOf course. Iâm sorry you didnât know about it sooner.â
He looks at you, lips parting slightly like heâs about to say something. His tongue swipes briefly over his bottom lip and you would swear that his gaze drops to your mouth for just a second.
For just a secondâone heady, slightly irrational secondâyou think he might be about to kiss you.
The ding of the elevator arriving breaks the spell, startling you just a little. You run a hand through your hair, trying to give off the impression of composure even as your heart beats wildly in your chest.
Loki gestures to the elevator doors. âAfter you.â
There is a group of analysts in the elevator already, chatting animatedly and completely obliterating any chance you may have had at recapturing that moment.
You try not to dwell too much in contemplating what ifs or timeline branchesâoften, it feels too much like work, something Mobius might assign you.
But you know that the possibility of that momentâwhat if the elevator had been a hair slower, what if those analysts had taken a different route, what if you were braverâyou know thatâs something thatâs going to haunt you for a while.
*
You wouldnât give up that time in the library for anythingâitâs one of those moments that feels formative, something that youâll return to again and again for one reason or another.
But itâs also true that itâs time that you probably could have used for sorting files and as Saturday ticks on, you canât help but wish you had a way to pull another hour out of somewhere.
âWeâre not going to be able to make this deadline, are we?â you say with a sigh.
Itâs getting late into the evening and the cart of files still to be sorted still remains depressingly full, despite the fact that youâd brought both lunch and dinner back to your desk so you could continue working.
Loki eyes the remaining files. âI think we might. We made good progress today.â
You rub your eyes. âMy brain feels like itâs about to leak out my ears.â
Loki takes the file you are working on and sets it back in the stack of unsorted files. âI think that might be a sign itâs time to turn in,â he says.
âThereâs still so much left.â
âThereâs still tomorrow.â
You reach for the file. âWell, let me justââ
He pulls your hand away from the pile. âYou can come back to it in the morning. Besides, if youâre this tired, youâre not going to do good work anyway.â
He squeezes your hand and drops it. Itâs brief enough to still be friendly, but unusual enough to make you wonder and send your mind racing back to that moment by the elevator.
You shake the thought away. Itâs late and youâre tired.
You heave a world weary sigh and slump back in your chair. âI hate it when youâre right.â
To his credit, he only smirks a little. âCome on. Iâll walk you back.â
Once again, thereâs no reason for him to do this, but once again, youâre inclined to let him.
You pack up for the evening and walk out of the office side by side. Youâre trying very hard not to think about the fact that this is likely the last night that youâll do this, that tomorrow the assignment will be over.
As you near the residential wing, you start to hear distant shouts. If you inhale deeply, you catch a very faint whiff of explosivesâyouâre not sure what kind.
âI think someone brought work home,â you say with a sigh.Â
This happens from time to timeâthings get out of hand in the field or something happens when retrieving an asset or a target and all hell breaks loose at the TVA. Mobius had once referred to it as âbringing work homeâ and the name had stuck.
âWasnât there an incident in this wing not long ago?â asks Loki.
âYes.â You sigh, running a hand through your hair. âI had to call off the next dayâI got no sleep that night.â You listen carefully, trying to determine the source of the noise and the status of the problem. âBut maybe itâs almost over,â you say with an optimism you donât fully feel. âSometimes these things are resolved really quick.â
Your heart continues to sink the closer you come to your home. The acrid burn of explosives only increases and you think you catch the low, dull roar of something not quite human.
And indeed, when you turn the final corner, you are immediately stopped by an electric blue barrier being monitored by a hunter. G-21âyouâve worked with her on a couple of missions before.
âAre you fucking kidding me?â slips out of your mouth before you can stop yourself.
âThereâs an ongoing incident in this area,â says G-21 and you almost want to laugh because no shit.Â
âHow long do you think itâs gonna be closed off?â you ask.
She shrugs. âWeâre at a code 54 right now, but itâs probably gonna escalate.â
With pitch perfect timing and before you can even try to remember what a code 54 means, thereâs an almighty crash and a low bellow.
âGo!â she yells before running toward the commotion amid frantic calls for backup.
Loki is grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a run.
Your standard issue work shoes are comfortable enough on a day to day basis, but you certainly want to have words with whoever decided that leather soled shoes with absolutely no grips were a good choice for a building floored almost entirely in linoleum. In a low stakes situation, itâs meant occasionally you wipe out in the cafeteria and hurt nothing but your pride. In this situation, it means that Lokiâs firm grip on your hand is the only thing keeping you upright.
But thereâs a small mercy in that while you can still hear distant crashes and shrieks, whatever is happening down that hallway doesnât seem to be following you and eventually, you both slow to a brisk walk and Loki drops your hand.
You havenât even had a chance to consider where you are going to sleep tonight. You could probably curl up on that terrible couch in the office and just plan on getting up early enough to run back to your place for a quick shower and a change of clothesâŚassuming the incident resolves by thenâ
âYou can stay with me,â says Loki, as though he can hear you trying to sort this out.
âOh, thatâs okay, Iâll justââ
âIf you say youâre going to sleep on that terrible couch in the office, I will personally take you to the most boring governmental proceeding I can find and leave you there until you come to your senses.â
âSounds like a great place to fall asleep,â you say.
His eyes glint, but his tone brooks no arguments. âYouâre staying with me tonight.â
You sigh, but you canât think of a counterpoint. âWhen did you get so bossy?â
âDarling, Iâm a prince,â he says with a bit of a wry smirk. âItâs my birthright.â
Loki lives on the opposite end of the residential wing and his place looks quite a bit like yoursâheâs got an extra window in the kitchen but the floor plan is otherwise the same. A lot of his furniture is standard issue, but there are little details that make it seem more personal: an area rug with a bit of fraying on the edges, a painting of what you think is an Asgardian landscape, a vase filled with dried flowers so delicate they look like they might disintegrate if you were to touch them. And booksâso many books. Books on shelves, stacked on the coffee table, tucked into the little rack that you know is meant to hold magazines. Hardbacks, paperbacks, leather bound, dog-eared, well-worn and brand new. Itâs no wonder he was so excited about the library.
âHave a seat,â he says, gesturing to the couch. âIâll get some things for you.â
You sit down and he disappears down the hall. You idly examine the books stacked on the end table next to you. Many are quite clearly from Asgard and it sparks a pang of sympathyâitâs like his homesickness is on full display in his living room and thereâs something sweet and sad about seeing that vulnerability laid so bare.
He returns a few minutes later with a pair of pajamas, a toothbrush, and a hand towel.
âHere,â he says, handing you the pile. âBathroomâs just down the hall. Iâll make up a bed for you.â
âThanks.â
In the bathroom, you realize that the pajamas heâs given you arenât the standard set you can order from the TVA. These are made of a dark emerald silk that ripples over your skin like water, and somehow, that makes it feel a thousand times more personal than if heâd loaned you a standard set. They donât fit quite right on you, but theyâll work well enough for tonight.
You brush your teeth and attempt to get through as much of your evening routine as you can before collecting your clothes and exiting the bathroom.
When you return to the living room, you expect to find that heâs made up a bed for you on the couch. These living units only have one bedroomâit would be quite reasonable to have you sleep on the couch.
You do not expect to find a pajama clad Loki stretched out reading on the couch, a blanket over his lap and his head propped up on a pillow like he intends to sleep there.
You exhale slowly. âPlease tell me you are not giving up your bed.â
âDonât be absurd, of course I am,â he says without even looking up from his book. âThe point of this was to prevent you from sleeping on a couch, not simply put you on a couch in a different location.â
You wish you had something to throw at him. âYou donât even fit on that couch.â
âLuckily, my knees bend. Besides, youâre a guest,â he says, as though that settles it.
You roll your eyes and plunk yourself down in the armchair across from the couch, setting your pile of clothes on the floor. âIâm not moving until you give up the couch.â
He finally looks up from his book. âYouâre really going to do this?â
You examine your fingernails, flicking away an invisible speck of dust. âIâm not the one being unreasonable. Iâm simply meeting you at your level.â
âIf you think that Iâm being unreasonable and youâre also saying youâre meeting me at my level, does that not mean you are admitting that you are being unreasonable?â
âItâs nearly one oâclock in the morning. Iâm not arguing semantics with you.â
âFine.â His eyes glimmer as he sets his book down and slowly rises to his feet. âBut youâre still not sleeping on the couch.â
âOh, youâre going to be so disappointed when you realize how wrong you are,â you say. You think you see your opening and you try to play it cool.
Heâs walking toward you, leaving your path to the couch wide open. In your head, you can see exactly how this works: youâll spring from your chair and dart around the coffee table before diving onto the couch like a baseball player sliding into home plate, soundly defeating Loki. Easy peasy.
Instead, what happens is that you spring to your feet and Loki moves with inhuman speed, grabbing you around your waist and pinning you to the front of his chest, stopping you in your tracks almost immediately.
âI suppose I should have expected that,â he says. Your back is facing him, but you can almost hear the dry, sardonic look heâs giving you.
âProbably,â you say. âGod of mischief and all.â You struggle fruitlessly against his iron grip. âYou can let me go now.â
He laughs. âIâm afraid I canât. It was clearly a mistake to trust you. I wonât be making that error again.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you say, trying again to squirm away from him. âLet me go.â
âThe interesting thing about all of this is that youâve made a rather substantial tactical error,â he says, continuing as though he canât hear you.
âYouâre bluffing,â you say with more confidence than you feel.
âFascinating theory,â he says, âbut I donât think itâs going to work out for you.â
With that same ridiculous speed, heâs suddenly spinning you around and lifting you, tossing you easily over his shoulder.
âHey!â you shout in protest.
âI warned you,â he says, his voice full of mirth as he carries you toward the bedroom.
This is not exactly how youâve imagined being carried off to bed by Loki.
Though, admittedly, you do have a nice view of his ass.
âThis is ridiculous,â you say.
âYou brought this upon yourself.â Heâs walking into the bedroom and a moment later, heâs lifting you from his shoulder and tossing you unceremoniously onto his bed.
You scramble to your feet and try to lunge toward the door, but heâs clearly expecting that. Before your feet even hit the floor, he catches you around the waist and hauls you back to the bed. Your back hits the mattress and you try to leverage the momentum to propel yourself back onto your feet.
He catches you immediately and you find yourself back on the bed again.
âI donât mean to be patronizing,â he says, failing to bite back a laugh, âbut itâs adorable that you think you can outmaneuver me.â
That is deeply offensive and the only way you can earn my forgiveness is by letting me take my rightful place on the couch.â You canât quite keep the laugh from your voice.
He grins. âNot a chance.â
You attempt to dive off the opposite side of the bed, only to have him grab you by the ankles and pull you back. You manage to dislodge him and lunge in the opposite direction, only to be immediately thwarted.
It becomes increasingly hilarious the longer it goes on and soon your sides are aching from laughter. Loki is laughing too, but it doesnât seem to affect his strength or speed at all.
Eventually, he wrestles you back down onto the bed and you are fairly certain thereâs no way out of this oneâheâs got your wrists pinned above your head and his legs locked around yours. Youâre both a little out of breath.
âYield,â he says.
You shake your head. âNever.â
His gaze flicks to your lips and back to your eyes. âYield.â
âNo.â
Something has changed. Thereâs an electricity and intensity that crackles in the air between you, possibilities blooming in both of your gazes. It feels a little like that moment by the elevator, but youâre afraid to hope, afraid to even wish because the idea of him wanting you still feels as impossible as capturing smoke with a net.Â
But the way heâs looking at you, the way his gaze keeps drifting between your eyes and your lipsâŚthatâs not nothing.
âYield.â
You lick your lips, your heart beating wildly. âNo.â
Is it just your imagination, or did his breath hitch when you licked your lips?
âYield.â
God, heâs so close and you want him so badly.Â
âNo.â
He looks again at your lips and this time, he closes the distance between you.
They call him Silvertongueâyouâve heard the jokes, youâve rolled your eyes at all of them. But as he kisses you, you realize that thereâs an element of truth there because only seconds in and youâre ready to sign away your soul to live under the power of Lokiâs tongue. The slow, warm slide of it against yours, the way he guides your mouth against his, the way he lets out a soft sigh as he tastes youâyou would give up everything if it meant you could stay like this.
âYield,â he breathes against your lips.
âNo,â you say.
He deepens the kiss, catching your lower lip between his teeth and gently tugging until you whimper and arch against him.
He still has your hands pinned against the bed, his grip unyielding when you try to wrestle them away.
âLet me touch you,â you say when he draws back. You want to touch him everywhereârun your hands along every muscle youâve admired from afar.Â
âThen yield,â he says with a grin, his eyes flashing with devilish intent.
You consider this for a moment. You could give inâthere arenât really any stakes at this point and youâre pretty sure youâre both going to end up sleeping in his bed tonight anyway. But that glint of mischief in his eyes also promises some intriguing possibilities if you stand firm.
âNo,â you say.
âSuch a pity,â says Loki, though his expression is one of hungry delight.
His hands slip free of your wrists then, but they stay pinned to the bed by some invisible force.
âCheater,â you say.Â
âI think this is only fair,â he says, his hands sliding to your hips. âIâm clearly the victor, am I not entitled to my prize?â
You shiver. âYour prize?â
âYes.â He kisses down the column of your throat. âMy lovely, lovely prize.â
âHow can I be your prize if Iâm also your competitor?â
âYou think too much,â he mumbles against your neck.
âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.â
âGenerally, itâs not.â He sits back on his heels between your legs, looking you over with satisfaction. âBut in this case, itâs distracting you from more pressing matters.â His hands creep under the hem of your shirt, stroking the small of your back, thumbs tracing teasingly along the waistband of your pajama pants.Â
âHave I mentioned how much I enjoy seeing you in my clothes?â he asks. Thereâs a husky depth to his voice and a hunger in his eyes that sends a flood of arousal to your cunt.
âYou have not,â you say.
âA casualty of too much thinking,â he says solemnly, his thumbs gently grazing the skin at your hipbones. âYou look utterly delectable. I almost want to leave them on.â His eyes glitter with mischief. âAlmost.â His hand strays to the bottom button on your pajama top. âMay I?â
You nod. âYes.â
He slips the button free and slowly makes his way up until your shirt is open. He carefully pushes the fabric aside, baring your breasts to his sight and touch.
Youâve never felt more beautiful seeing Loki stare at you, lips slightly parted, eyes wide and hungry. He trails one hand up your stomach and rib cage and slowly brushes a thumb over your nipple. You gasp and the sensitive skin puckers and stiffens as he palms your breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
âGorgeous,â he murmurs as he lowers his mouth to your breast, his tongue and lips taking up the role of his hand, while his other hand moves to cup your other breast. You whimper, wishing you could run your hands through his hair. âThatâs it,â he purrs, âI want to hear all the sounds you can make, my love.â
You rock your hips forward and arch your back as he lavishes attention on your breasts. Itâs the most delicious kind of torture, having him so close, but not being able to touch him.
Heâs taking his time, which you both love and hate. He feels so good, but you need him to touch you, you need to touch him, you need him inside of you. You wait until you canât take it any more and breathe his name like itâs a prayer.
You wonder if this is what he was waiting for because with little more than a brief smirk and a wicked look, he starts kissing his way back up your chest and neck. You whimper when his lips meet yours and you can feel him grin as he kisses you. He fits his hips against yours, angling himself so that his cock rubs up against your clit just right and you moan into his mouth. You can tell that heâs big and part of you wants to savor the anticipation even though you feel like you might go mad if he doesnât fuck you now. You rock your hips against him, trying to feel that friction.
His large hands frame your face, one hand sliding to cradle the back of your head so he can draw you deeper, the other trailing from your cheek to your throat.
Both hands soon stroke down your sides, lingering teasingly at the waistband of your pajama pants. He hooks his thumbs underneath the waistband and you lift your hips. He slides your pants down maybe an inch and you can feel him smiling as he kisses you. You lift your hips again and your waistband creeps down another inch.
âLoki.â His name falls from your lips with a sigh.
âWhat is it, my love?â
âTouch me,â you breathe. âPlease.â
You lift your hips again and this time, he pulls the fabric fully down and off your legs. He guides your legs apart and stares appreciatively at your bare cunt, his teasing expression replaced by a rapt awe.
âBeautiful,â he murmurs.Â
You believe him.
His hands stroke your thighs, seemingly in no hurry, despite your pleading whimpers and the way you arch against the mattress. He draws his thumb gently along your slit, barely grazing your clit.
âDo you know what an utter distraction itâs been sitting behind you?â he asks, tracing your clit in the slowest, lightest circle.
You arch upward, hands still bound by his magic. âTell me,â you breathe, your hips rising to chase his hand.
âEvery time you stood up, I could only think about bending you over the desk.â
You manage a sly smirk. âAnd here I thought you didnât like me much at all.â
His thumb presses a little more against your clit and you moan.
âIâve wanted you from the moment I saw you,â he says, rolling his thumb in a slow circle. âI kept you at armâs length partly as a matter of protection.â
For who?â
âYou,â he says. âIâm not fully redeemed in some eyes and you being involved with a dangerous variantââ
âYouâre not,â you say.
âSome would disagree.â
âWell, theyâre wrong,â you say. âYouâre not a dangerous variant. Youâre Loki Laufeyson and I want you just as you are.â
Thereâs something unreadable in his expression and it makes you wonder how many people have told him that he can just be himself.
âYou should be careful saying such lovely things to me, you know,â he says solemnly.
You raise an eyebrow. âOh really? And why is that?â
âBecause it makes me want to do very wicked things to you.â
Youâre surprised youâre not shaking, you want him so badly. âWhat kinds of wicked things?â
âOh, all manner of wicked things.â He presses a kiss to the inside of your knee, his tongue swiping briefly against your skin. âThings with my mouth...â His thumb rolls over your clit again, his index finger teasing your entrance before retreating. ââŚmy handsâŚâ He drags his gaze over your naked form before locking eyes with you. âMy cock.â
A shiver works its way up your spine. âSo if I talk about how I think youâre really clever and funny and I find it unbelievably sexy, what sort of wicked thing would that merit?â
The intensity of his gaze makes you shiver again. He crouches down and presses another kiss against the inside of your knee, slowly moving upward. âIf you keep talking like that, Iâm not going to let you leave my bed for days.â
âYou know thatâs not a disincentive, right?â you say, sucking in a sharp breath as he nips at the soft skin of your inner thigh. âIâve wanted you for such a long time, Loki.â
âIâll make it weeks if youâre not careful.â
âAgain, not a disincentive.â You gently tug at your bound wrists and find that theyâre still firmly secured. Itâs exhilarating, even though you really wish you could run your hands through his hair, especially if he ends up where you think heâs going.
âWhat else should I tell you?â you muse as he continues his agonizingly slow path along your thigh. âYou know, half the reason I kept to myself was that I wanted you so much I was certain that Iâd make a fool of myself.â
That earns you a few circles of your clit with his thumb, but his progress up your thigh remains slow. You have a theory about what might move the needle, though.
âI know you like to act like youâre this sort of barely reformed villain, but I think thereâs more good in you than youâd like people to believe.â
This time, he moves up to the crease where your thigh joins your hip, close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath ghosting along your labia. His tongue traces a line along your skin and you briefly wonder if youâll be able to hold it together enough to deliver the last part.
âAnd,â you say, trying to keep your voice steady, âyesterday and today made me want you even more because I feel like I finally saw who you really are and youâre even more wondââ
Your words abruptly give way to a breathy moan because his perfect, skilled tongue has finally found its way to your clit.
You had a plan from here, but whatever it was has dissolved into nothing under the skilled caress of Lokiâs tongue. You suspected he would be good at this from the way that heâd kissed you earlier, but you could not have imagined that it would feel like this.
âOh my god, Loki.â Your thighs are already quaking. You tug again at the invisible bonds on your wrists, but they hold fast. Something about the way the bonds are keeping you gently stretched along the bed combined with how his large hands have your thighs spread open seems to heighten every sensation. Thereâs no wiggling away from him or adjusting yourself so that you feel more or less of the onslaught of his tongue on your cunt. You are completely at his mercy and youâre not entirely surprised that you fucking love it.
He slides a finger into your aching channel and your cunt shudders around the thick intrusion. The warm, roiling center of your orgasm starts builds in your hips with every stroke of his tongue, spinning faster and faster, like ocean winds whipping up into a hurricane. Your back arches and his tongue presses flat against your clit, and suddenly you know that this is going to be what takes you over the edge.
Loki seems to know it too, at least from the way that he presses his tongue more firmly against you, one arm slung across your hips to hold you in place. His other hand slides two fingers inside you, rocking and curling against that aching, tender spot.
You whimper, your hips bucking wildly. Itâs so good and so much and you are almost there.
You look down at him then, his hair wild, hollowed cheeks flushed pink as his tongue works you over, his eyes closed like he couldnât imagine anything more blissful than being in between your legs while you come undone.
This is ultimately what tips you over the edge. The storm that has been forming inside you is finally let loose and you arch your back and cry out in a wordless scream as your climax crashes into you.
Only then do the bonds around your wrists release and your hands fly down to grab his hair as your body shakes with pleasure.
It takes a moment for you to get your breath back and reacquaint yourself with the concept of speech, but when you do, you find Loki looking up at you, his expression pure mischief.
âAnd to think you wanted to sleep on the couch.â
âIt wasnât that I wanted to sleep on the couch, itâs thatââ Your voice cuts off as his tongue starts stroking your clit again.
âItâs what?â he asks in between strokes, his smirk obvious in his voice. The lingering ripples of your orgasm are coalescing around the path of his tongue, tightening that coil in your belly again.
âFuckâyouâre not playing fair, you canât justââ You lose your sentence to a low moan that rises up from your chest. âYou canât justâfuck, yesâyou canâtâŚoh god, yes, just like that.â
His laughter rumbles against you as your hips start rocking against his mouth. How are you already so close?
âYou canât justâfuckâwin an argument byââ
Youâre trying to say that he canât expect to win an argument by making you come and you think he might understand this based on how determined he seems to be to prove you wrong. His fingers curl again until he finds that soft, tender spot that is so often the key to your unraveling.
You have stopped trying to complete that sentenceâyou moan, your hands tangling in his hair, urging him on as the swell of your climax rushes up, inevitable as a tidal wave looming over a seaside village.
You cry out as it crests and breaks, falling down over you in a rush of tingling pleasure that feels like champagne and fireworks all at once.
âNow, what was it you were saying, my love?â he asks as he releases your clit a moment later. âSomething about how I canât just win an argument by making you come? I couldnât quite hear you over the sound of you coming completely undone on my tongue.â
âOh, you think youâre so smart,â you say, giving him a stern look as he crawls up your body.
âYou know what I think?â he says, settling himself on his side next to you. âI think you liked submitting to me.â
You shiver before you can even think about hiding it and his smile turns decidedly vulpine.Â
âYou did, didnât you? You liked having your hands bound and being completely at my mercy while I licked your pretty cunt until you came undone in my mouth.â
âYou are enjoying this far too much,â you say.
âI am enjoying it the correct amount.â
You realize your hands are now free to explore his body and you tug at his pajama shirt. âI think youâre wearing too many clothes,â you say.
He gives you a wicked grin as he lets you pull his shirt over his head. âYes, perhaps itâs time we even things up.â
You pull the shirt away and rake your eyes over him greedily, your hands following the path of your gaze. He is as perfect as you imagined, unfairly beautiful in the dim light of the bedroom.
You hook your thumbs into the waistband of his pajama pants and lower them an inch, a cheeky parallel of how he teased you earlier. His lips curl into a sharp smile when he realizes what youâre doing.
âInteresting strategy.â Thereâs a bit of a growl in his voice, a rough desperation that makes your cunt clench. âBut I think you forgot that I have the upper hand here.â
He raises his hand and with a twist of his wrist, his remaining clothes dissolve in a shimmer of green and he is bare before you.
Your breath catches in your throat. His cock commands your immediate attention, nudging up against your thighâheâs big, as you suspected, but completely bare and rock hard, he somehow seems longer and thicker than he had when he was grinding against you.
He pulls you into a slow kiss as you reach for his cock. You wrap your hand around him, delighting in the silky hardness of him, the way he throbs in your hand and the low groan he makes as your hand moves from base to tip and back, the way his hips thrust along with you. Your cunt clenches in anticipation.
After a moment, though, he places his hand over yours, slowing your movements.
âI need to be inside you,â he rasps.
âYes,â you breathe.
He rolls on top of you and youâre not sure that youâve ever felt anything quite as wonderful as the heat of his bare skin and yours pressed together. This feeling means intimacy, a closeness that youâd longed for but never expected even in your wildest daydreams.
He pulls you into a kiss, slow, soft, and languid, like you have all the time in the world and he intends to take it. Itâs decadent and dreamy and perfect.
But the heavy weight of his bare cock resting against your stomach combined with the ache between your legsâan ache that would be so perfectly soothed by the hard column of flesh currently throbbing against youâproves to be a force too powerful to resist for very long.
You cant your hips against him, snaking one leg around his waist, hoping heâll get the hint.
He does.
He braces himself on one hand, the other sliding between your bodies to rub his cock along your slick folds. He positions himself at your entrance, waiting for your breathy plea to begin to ease himself slowly into you.
He fills and stretches you in the most wonderful way, but even more than that, he feels like home. The thought strikes you quite suddenly and youâre not entirely sure about everything it means, but you know itâs good and right.
He pauses for just a moment, seeming to savor the feeling.
âYou feel better than I ever imagined,â he says.
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âYou imagined?â
He gives you a hungry smile as he leans in to kiss you. âLike I said: it has been an utter distraction sitting behind you.â
His rhythm is slow and easy, like he wants to take his time learning every inch of you and memorizing how you react to his touch. His mouth moves over yours in a slow kiss thatâs somehow both languid and demanding, his tongue gliding in and out of your mouth in the same rhythm of his hips rocking into you. His cock bumps up against that sweet spot inside of you that his fingers had teased earlier, each stroke inching you closer to bliss.
He shifts the angle of his hips so that his pubic bone grinds against your clit and it feels so good you almost see stars. You can feel your orgasm building, your cunt growing slicker and tensing around his thrusting cock.
He draws back to look at you, eyes hazy with a loose, dreamy kind of pleasure.
âDo you have any idea how good you feel?â he breathes.
You are shaking. âLoki, Iâm gonna come.â
âI know you are,â he purrs. âLet go for me, let me feel you, my love.â
With two more thrusts of his hips, you unravel.
He groans as you tremble around him, but mostly, he watches your face, rapt by the way you throw your head back against the bed and gasp his name like itâs the only thing that will save you.
âYouâre beautiful when you come,â he breathes. âAbsolutely stunning.â
He waits until you catch your breath before he kisses you again, slow and sensual. His hips are still rocking in that beautifully slow rhythm and you donât know how it can still feel so good.
He keeps moving against you, his touch and his low murmurs of praise invoking a symphony of sensations. He presses deeper and your body sings with every thrust, your muscles tensing and tightening around him like you never want him to leave. Your climax swells again and you come with a whimper, your whole body shaking as he fucks you through it.
You want him to come, want to hear the sounds he makes and feel his sweet, hot release burning inside of you.
âI want you to come for me,â you breathe.
He grins at you. âOh, I will, but not yet. Youâre not done yet.â
You whimper. âLokiââ
âTwo more, my love, two more and then Iâll come for you.â
Somehow, you give him three. By the second one, heâs panting and his words have become rough, his voice a growl as he utters some of the filthiest praise youâve ever heard. The third builds quickly after that and you know instinctively that youâre going to take him over the edge with you this time.
You fight to keep your eyes open against the tidal wave of pleasure blooming again in your hips. You need to see him come undone.
As in everything else he does, heâs unfairly beautifulâhe throws his head back, letting out a low groan that you can feel all the way to the tips of your toes. His cheeks are flushed, a few ink dark curls plastered to the light sheen of sweat on his forehead. You can feel him emptying himself inside you, his release hot and hard won.
It seems to last a long time and itâs another minute before his hips slow to a halt. He kisses you, so soft and sweet it would almost seem chaste were it not for the fact that his cock is still throbbing inside of you.
After a moment, he slowly eases out of you, rolling over onto his back, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you to him like he canât bear to be parted from you even for a moment.
You curl up against his side, your legs tangling with his. He takes your hand, lacing his fingers with yours before resting your clasped hands on his heart.
You could fall in love like this, you think sleepily to yourself.
You donât know it then, but youâre right.
*
Time moves differently at the TVA, but a couple years later, thereâs a ring in a box on your desk.
Loki likes a spectacle and youâd daydreamed about a traditional wedding, but when you talk it over, you both agree that you want to do something different, something quiet, something just for the two of you.
âI do think we should tell Mobius beforehand,â you say to Loki.
âIsnât the point of eloping that no one knows until after itâs done?â says Loki.
âYes, but I feel like we could make one exception,â you say. âIf weâd done a full wedding, I would have asked him to give me away.â
Lokiâs gaze softens a bit then and he pulls you close. âAll right. But we only tell him right before we leave. The man canât keep a secret.â
But Mobius doesnât seem terribly surprised when you tell himâin fact, he seems far more concerned about your wedding gift.
âI didnât have a chance to wrap it yet,â he says. Heâs retrieved a large picture frame that had been propped against his desk, though he keeps it turned away from you. âSoâŚthis also requires a bit of an overdue confession for context.â
You raise your eyebrows. âA confession?â
âA confession,â says Mobius.
âWill I be angry about this?â asks Loki at the same time you say, âIs this like a go to jail confession or a misdemeanor confession?â
Mobius gives a good natured chuckle, shaking his head slightly. âGod, the two of you. Always so dramatic. No wonder you ended up together.â He takes what feels like an unnecessarily long drink from the coffee mug on his desk. âItâs not bad, I promise.â Another sip of coffee.Â
Loki sighs. âHe always does this,â he says to you. âHave you noticed? Whenever he has something that you want to know, he stalls and drags it out just to torment you.â
âOkay,â you say, âbut you jumping in to bicker with him probably doesnât help.â
âIâm not bickering,â says Loki. âIâm simply pointing out that heâs stallingââ
âWhat was it you were saying, Mobius?â you say brightly, nudging Loki with your elbow.
Mobiusâ eyes twinkle. âSee,â he says to Loki, âI always liked her. Itâs a good match.â
You donât have to look at Loki to know heâs rolling his eyes, though he also makes a point of surreptitiously pinching your ass, a detail you hope Mobius doesnât notice.
âAnyway,â says Mobius, taking a deep breath, âit was pretty clear to me from the start that you liked each other. And you also seemed absolutely determined to get in your own way.â He points to Loki. âEspecially you with your whole stilted Asgardian prince thing.â
Loki frowns. âWhat are you talking about?â
Mobius sighs. âAnytime you like someone, itâs like your brain gets a factory reset and you get all overly polite and courtly.â
Loki scoffs. âI donât do that at all.â
âYou do. Itâs deeply weird. Youâre like a mannerly robot.â
Loki turns to you. âDarling, tell him heâs being absurd.â
You reach over and squeeze his hand. âYou did call me âmy ladyâ a couple of times in the early days.â
Loki sighs and looks back at Mobius. âWhat was your point in mentioning this?â
âWell,â says Mobius, âyou seemed pretty determined to get in your own way, so nothing was happening. And eventually I got sick of all of the pining, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.â
âWhat do you mean?â
Mobius pauses, a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. âThere wasnât a breakthrough with Berlitz that weekend. What there was was a surplus in the overtime budget and a high priority indexing project for Archives.â
Your lips part as your brain slowly puts the pieces together. Mobiusâ eyes twinkle.
âWait,â you say, âyou lied to us?â
âI did not lie,â says Mobius, his demeanor suddenly becoming very serious. âThat would have been wrong.â He nods at Loki. âAlso, it wouldâve tipped him off and that would have ruined the whole thing. I simply failed to mention that the cart of files that I gave you needed to be sorted for indexing for the Archives department and I peppered in a couple of unrelated things about Berlitz.â
âBut the office was empty that weekend,â says Loki.
Mobius snaps his fingers. âRight. I did make some adjustments to the schedule that weekend.â
âAnd the disturbance that prevented her from returning home on Saturday night?â
Mobius spreads his hands wide and grins. âAll me, buddy. Paid G-21 five hundred bucks for that one.â
Loki pauses for a moment and then looks at you. âI donât think I can be mad about this. Iâm genuinely impressed.â
âI mean, I canât argue with the results, but Jesus, Mobius, you couldâve just set us up on a blind date,â you say.
âAh, but thatâs not as fun,â Mobius says. âPlus, it wouldnât have made for as good a wedding gift.â He turns the frame around and hands it to you both.
Itâs both your timecards from that pay period, neatly framed side by side. Your eyes well with tears and Mobius smiles.
âHonestly, Iâm just relieved itâs not a jet ski,â says Loki.
âHe's deflecting,â you say to Mobius in an exaggerated whisper.
âI know,â he whispers back.
But you canât help but notice that Lokiâs eyes are brighter than normal.
âOkay, now get out of here,â says Mobius. âYouâve got a wedding to get to.â
Twenty minutes later, youâre wearing a simple white dress and standing with Loki in front of a time door, your hand clasped in his.
âTechnically, we donât have a supervisorâs approval for this,â you say with a wry smile.
He looks at you, eyes dancing with mirth. âI had Mobius sign off on the paperwork while you were getting ready.â
Your heart swells and your smile is so wide that you feel like your face might split in two. âThen hurry up and marry me, Laufeyson.â
He grins and tugs you through the time door.
-------
But wait! There's more: I don't have a masterlist for this, but if you enjoy these idiots, check out Daylight, a sort of sequel.
#loki smut#loki x reader#loki x reader smut#loki laufeyson smut#loki x female reader smut#loki x female reader#loki laufeyson#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#tva loki x reader
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THE OTHER GUY PT.4 | FC43
part one | part two | part three |
an: only a couple more to go out! lmk if there is anything in particular you'd like to see and if you'd like to be added to my tag list :)
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris and 34,244 others
city boy summer, can't keep the hoes away
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logansargeant: you are not a city boy
ynpiastri: or am i?
oscarpiastri: i, for the record am happily taken and will not engage in this tomfoolery
ynpiastri: @/lilyznimer i will pay you double what he's paying you to date him if you break up with him
userone: girl we all know franco is there too.
When youâd woken up this morning, the last thing youâd expected was a pounding at your door. It couldnât have been housekeeping because you had it scheduled for 3 p.m., and it couldnât have been a crazy fan because you made sure never to post near your door, ever. So when you opened it and were attacked by a flurry of blonde hair, your heart dropped. As per usual, whenever you saw the blonde mess, you knew your sheepish brother wasnât far behind.
It was a welcome surprise, though. While you were enjoying the peace of the resort, it had been a while since youâd seen Logan or Oscar.
After catching up over breakfast and hearing their latest stories from home, you all had agreed to spend the day at the beach. The morning had been light and easy, filled with laughter and jokes, mocking how Oscar couldnât tan and how Logan always managed to find an American flag, no matter what country he was in.
âYouâve been quieter than usual,â Logan said, nudging you with his elbow. He grinned, a knowing look in his eyes as he adjusted his sunglasses. âWhatâs on your mind?â
You shake your head, trying to brush it off. âNothing, just thinking.â
Oscar, who was stretched out beside you with his arms behind his head, let out a chuckle. âThinking about what?â Tilting his head to the side, he gave you a teasing glance. âYouâve been acting weird since you got here last week.â
There was no escaping it now. Of course it was going to be noticeable that youâd been quieter, but that was because the thoughts swirling around in your head weren't exactly ones you were ready to share. Still, you couldnât ignore the topic forever.
âI donât know,â you started, the words slow and careful. âI guess⌠Iâve stopped looking at him with so much hatred.â The words were out before you could even clarify who he was.
It felt strange admitting it out loud. Youâd spent so long disliking himâpublicly, even. But now? After spending more time here, after getting to know him in ways you hadnât expected⌠things had changed.
Oscar raised an eyebrow. âWait. Are we talking about who I think weâre talking about?â He leaned in, clearly intrigued.
Glancing out at the ocean, you avoided eye contact with either man. âYeah.â
Logan stayed quiet for a moment, and you almost regretted your words. Staying quiet for a beat longer, he sighed. âYou know, he never did anything wrong.â
Turning around to face him, surprised, you lifted your sunglasses to look at him properly.
âHe fought his way into the sport the same way I did,â Logan continued, his tone firm but not harsh. âYou canât hate him for something he canât control.â
You felt your chest tighten. He was right. Deep down, youâd always known that. Franco didnât choose to replace Loganâit wasnât personal. He was just doing what any of them would do. Fighting for a place in a sport where nothing is guaranteed.
âI know,â you admitted softly. âItâs just⌠hard. I wanted to blame someone.â
Oscar sighed, giving you a sympathetic look. âWe get it. But honestly, youâve got to let it go. Holding on to that angerâitâs not going to do you any good.â
For a second, you wanted to laugh because you couldnât recall the last time in your life Oscar and Logan had agreed on something.
Just as you were about to say something else, you noticed movement in the distance. Out of the corner of your eye, you see himâ Franco âwalking along the shore. His head turned in your direction, and when his eyes met yours, he lifted his hand in a casual wave.
At first you thought he may be waving to Oscar, but when a shy smile graced his lips your heart skipped a beat. He wasnât not doing it for show, not trying to get under your skin. It was just a wave. Simple, friendly.
Before you could think too much about it, you waved back. And then, almost without realising it, a small smile tugs at your lips.
Both Oscar and Logan caught the interaction and raised an eyebrow, though Oscar didnât say a word. Logan nudged you again, his voice teasing. âWell, look at that.â
You rolled your eyes at him but canât help feeling a little lighter. Maybe you really were wrong about him. Maybe thereâs more to him than the guy who replaced Logan.
You were still thinking about that smile when Logan gave you a sly nudge. âSo⌠are you going to talk to him?â
Your head whipped around to his eyes wide. âWhat? No! Absolutely not.â
Oscar laughed, clearly enjoying your sudden panic. âWhy not? Youâve already smiled at him, waved and everything. Just go over there and talk to the guy. Itâs not like heâs some stranger.â
You shook your head, feeling your face heat up. âItâs not that easy! I canât just walk up to him like itâs nothing.â
âOh, come on,â Logan said, rolling his eyes playfully. âYouâve been trash-talking him for months, and now youâre scared to ask him out for a drink? Seriously?â
Opening your mouth to protest, your face flushed as no words came out. You were flustered, and they both knew it.
Oscar sat up, shrugging nonchalantly. âWhatâs the worst that could happen? He says no? So what. But I donât think he will.â
You glanced back towards where Franco was standing, now leaning against the railing, gazing out at the ocean. He looked relaxed, completely unaware of the internal chaos you were going through just a few feet away.
Your heart was pounding, and you felt a nervous knot in your stomach. âI canât just⌠I mean, what would I even say?â
Logan gave you an encouraging smile. âJust be yourself. Ask him if he wants to grab a drink tonight. Youâve already softened up to him, right? This is your chance.â
You hesitated, glancing between Oscar and Logan, who both gave you looks that said go on, youâve got this.
Finally, you exhale, standing up and wiping the sand off your legs. âFine. Iâll do it. But if this goes horribly wrong, itâs your fault.â
Oscar grinned at you. âWeâll take full responsibility. Now go.â
With your heart still racing, you took a deep breath and started walking across the sand toward him. Each step feeling heavier than the last, your mind racing with all the things you could sayâor worse, all the ways this could go wrong. But you were already halfway there, and there was no turning back now.
When you were just a few feet away, he noticed you approaching and turned around, his expression shifting from casual surprise to something more⌠interested. You could see it in his eyes, the way they lit up as you stopped in front of him.
âHey,â you managed to say, hoping you didnât sound as nervous as you felt.
âHola,â he replied, a slow smile spreading across his face. âI wasnât expecting you to come over.â
You bit your lip, suddenly feeling shy. Why did this feel so much harder than anything else youâd ever done? âYeah, well⌠Oscar and Logan kind of persuaded me. They said I should talk to you.â
He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. âOh? What about?â
Your mind went blank for a second, âI was, uh⌠wondering if youâd want to grab a drink with me tonight.â
The words came out in a rush, and you immediately felt your cheeks flush, but you managed to hold his gaze. You couldnât believe you just said that. Your heart was thumping so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
Franco didnât answer right away, but the smile on his face grew wider. âYouâre asking me out?â
You nodded, trying to keep your cool. âYeah. If youâre free, I mean. Itâs fine if youâre not, I understand.â
His eyes softened, and for a moment, the cocky driver youâd seen in interviews was gone. In its place was just a guyâsurprised, maybe even flattered.
âIâd love to,â he said, his voice steady. âHow about I pick you up around 8?â
Blinking, you took a minute to comprehend what heâd just said, relief and excitement flooding you all at once. âReally? Yeah, that works.â
âGreat.â His smile was warm, and suddenly, the tension you were feeling melted away. âIâll see you tonight, then.â
You nodded, still trying to process that youâd actually gone through with itâand that he had said yes.
âSee you tonight,â you echo, then turn to walk back to Oscar and Logan before remembering he didnât have your room number. âUh, room 438.â
Franco nodded in your direction, âRoom 438.â
ynpiastri
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, francolapinto and 31,487 others
fit check, kind of nervous guys (đ¸ @logansargeant)
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userone: FRANCO IN THE LIKES đ¤
usertwo: oh my god i want her
oscarpiastri: scared for what? i thought you were city boy summering rn
ynpiastri: @/lilyznimer PLEASE BREAK UP WITH THIS NERD
userthree: just seen franco in the hall of the same resort, looks quite dapper if you ask me
logansargeant: this isn't very city boy summer of you
ynpiastri: eat dirt đđ
userfour: franyn?
the end.
taglist: @iimplicitt @isaadore @iamred-iamyellow @justheretoreadthxxs @obxstiles @how-what-why-huh @raizelchrysanderoctavius @sainzzreputaticn @xxx-betty @dukeofjjune @dejavuontrack @littlegrapejuice @mxdi0
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#logan sargeant#williams#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto x yn#oscar piastri#oscar piastri sister#williams f1#williams racing#williams formula 1#logan sargeant angst#logan sargeant smau#f1 social media au#franco colapinto smau
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Red Hot
Based on the song âBreaking the Girlâ by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Also, requested by the sweetest nonnie!
Blurb: Eddie has never had a constant in his life. Everyone leaves or he does before he can get hurt. After working up enough courage to ask you on a date, he canât help the itch to run from you when he sees you talking with another guy.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Light angst with a fluffy ending, miscommunication, reader referred to gal/girl, Eddieâs puppy eyes being teary. Jealousy. I think thatâs allâŚ.
-
divider by @cafekitsune
It all started in August.
The longing stares, stolen touches, blushing cheeks, sweating palms. Eddie had fallen for you. Hard. And it was incomprehensible to him.
Sure, you guys had been partnered on a few class projects, muttering sweet âHelloâsâ to one another as you passed in the hallways. But nothing overly serious. Nothing that could lead to this flutter in his inked chest.
The feeling startled himâ like falling asleep, only to dream that youâre falling from a building and then you jolt awake.
You frightened him. You with your shining smile that could light up the whole of New York City, or your bigger than life bubbly personality and your Einstein like brain. You frightened Eddie Munsonâ and he liked it. Loved it, even.
When he looked at you, he was sure. Surer than he has ever been about anything in his entire life. He wanted youâ he needed you in his future. You made him feel⌠wanted. Normal? Less like than outcast and more like a friend.
And so he asked you outâ but not without extreme difficulty. It took him three whole days to pluck up enough cowardly courage to slip a hand written note into your locker, signed from him with a cheesy love heart stamped next to your name on the back.
Eddie was consumed by immense panic after he had posted the note to you. He paced the halls and even contemplated breaking and entering into your locker just to steal the note back. It wasnât regret, but more like guilt.
He wasnât brave enough to ask you face to face. He knew he wouldnât be able to form a coherent sentence in front of you, nevermind ask you out to a diner for milkshakes.
He also couldnât handle your rejection. It would sour him⌠it would break his heart.
And so when he seen you bounding over to him and the other guys at lunch like a cheerful bunny rabbit he nearly sunk and hid beneath the table. Terrified of what you might sayâ of what you might think of himâŚ
Would you take him as he was?
His insides were twisting and turning, his feelings for you burningâŚ
âHey, EddieâŚâ you stop a few paces away from his perched frame, your cheeks flushed and your fingers fumbling with your pocket, âCould I please borrow you for a moment?â Your voice is sweet enough to make Eddieâs own cheeks pink and your eyes examine the table, almost as if you are asking for the menâs permission to pinch their friend.
They spare you some friendly and amused smiles, but that is all. They know better than to meddle with the things Eddie cares about.
âSure thing, sweetheart.â He clears his throat in the form of a light cough, his palms slapping against the top of the table as he lunges from his seat and onto his feet to meet you. His movements are so fast that it takes you a moment to register that he is standing inches in front of you.
âLead the way.â He purrs softly and thatâs it for you. Your brain is none responsive. Eddie was great at the art of pretending. He was a pretenderâ which meant that he was the master at faking his confidence. As he watched your jaw fall slack at his toothy dimpled grin it only spurred him on further. He was adoring the effect he was having on you.
Leading Eddie into the quiet of the corridor you stop against a wall, smiling angelically up at the metal head, âI got your note.â Part of you was hesitant to even approach Eddie, in doubt that you had been brutally pranked by someone but the softness in his eyes and the relaxation of his tense shoulders put your mind at ease.
âWhat note?â Eddie perks a brow, a massive stretched smile on his lips and you swat at him playfully, pulling the loose piece of crumpled paper from your pocket and waving it in front of his nose, âOkay, okay.â He throws his hands up in surrender before tucking them beneath his armpits; trying to contain his nerves.
âIf by chance, I did slip that into your locker⌠what might you reply to it? Yâknowâ if it were from me.â
Thereâs a moment of pause and you purse your lips in false thought, holding the note flat against your chest, âI think I would say yesâ but only if it were you.â You sigh, frowning mockingly, âBut I guess we shall never know, huh?â
You sway away from the wall, overly slumping your shoulders as you take agonisingly slow steps back toward the cafeteria.
Eddie canât contain his thrill. You just agreed to go on a date with him. You! You agreed!
He punches the air whilst your back is turned to him before he is prancing behind you like a ballet dancer, âIt was me! Did I mention that? Swear I did.â He grabs the note from you and you giggle as he examines his own handwriting, âYep! See, right here. Thatâs my name.â His index finger taps on the inked page and you hum in recognition and amusement. Peeking up at him through the thickness of your eyelashes you offer him a sly smile and he is quick to return one to you.
âOkay, well⌠how about Friday then? You, me and some delicious milkshakes?â You chirp like a song bird, clasping your hands behind your back and rocking on your heels.
Eddieâs heart thunders in his chest and his cheeks ache from the unremovable smile on his face.
âSounds like a date, Princess.â
-
Eddie couldnât keep his Bambi eyes closed at night, all he could think about was you. You and the minutes counting down to your date together. He had to fight the urge every single second of every day to smother you with attention in the corridors at school. He wanted to allow you space but fuckâ was it challenging.
He would leave rouge flowers and their stems poking out from the vents in your lockerâ never specifying if it were him or not. But you knew. You knew it was Eddie leaving you little trinkets. Like a trail of rose petals leading right to him.
In between classes he would stare at you from a distance, right through the crowd and you would feel his blazing gaze on the back of your head which, without fail, caused your flesh to flush brightly with colour.
He couldnât help it. You were stunning and the literal gal of his wildest dreams. His pretty little flower. He just wanted you to be his so badly that he was terrified of suffocating you with his presence.
He hadnât spoke to you from that day in the hallway; he thought it safer that way. Wait until the date, and then let you decide how you feel about him.
The thought made him antsy and unable to keep still. If he had one wish right now, it would be to read your mind. Just so he knewâ so he really knew. So he could please you and make you happy. No matter the cost. No matter the effort. He would do it.
He already felt so strongly about you; and thatâs why it bruised his heart so brutally to see you giggling and talking with another bloke. Eddie had never experienced jealousy on this level before, but it felt Hellish. It felt intentional and spiteful and he couldnât control the envious tears pricking at his waterline as he longed for you from afar.
He wouldnât let you hurt him. He wouldnât let you get close enough⌠not anymore. No matter how badly he wanted a life with you. He decided not to take the risk.
And little by little, the trinkets stopped and you only received one final note that Friday morning.
A cancellation letter.
âCanât make it tonight, see you around.â - Eddie
The excitement you had for the night ahead fizzled out and diedâ sending your stomach sinking like a plane shot from the sky.
What hurt you most was that there wasnât even an apology. You could understand being too bashful to ask you out face to faceâ but to cancel on you through a lousy note? You couldnât understand that.
You thought you meant more than that to Eddie, you thought that he thought more highly of you. Felt more for you. But you mustâve been mistaken since you had to walk through his blizzard of a mood change.
He wouldnât look at you anymore. His once warm gaze turned icy and much less frequent than before. You couldnât think of what you had done to deserve this from him. His cold shoulder and snippy responses.
It was hurting you more than you could have imagined. You liked Eddieâ you really liked Eddie, and to have him be so brutish toward you was dizzying. Upsetting. Penetrative; like a knife to your heart. Twisting and turning relentlessly. Unwaveringly. Suffocatingly.
But you werenât one to back down from confrontation; you were going to get the truth out of him if it were the last thing you do.
-
Itâs Monday afternoon and after working yourself up all goddamn morning you decide enough is enough. You canât take it anymore. You have to know why.
âHey, Munson!â Eddieâs brain hasnât time to compute what is happening before you are stomping over to him, your arms flexed by your sides as your fists are balled tightly by your waist.
âWhat do you want?â His deep voice is rumbly and clipped as it leaves his throat and you scoff at his nonchalant tone.
âI want you to explain this.â The crumpled piece of paper is held slotted between your middle and index finger as you wave it like a white flag in front of his face, âI never pegged you as a coward, Eddieâ really, I just donât understand.â
Eddieâs âgive no fucksâ attitude falters at your distress and he has to shove his hands into his pockets to keep his composure. He knows he canât sweep you up into his arms and coddle you the way he wantsâ so he settles for this. Being a total dickwad toward the one girl that actually makes him feel something.
âWhatâs not to understand? I saw you with another guy and I took the fucking hint. Plain and simple. You donât owe me an explanation and I donât see why I owe you one, Princess.â He shrugs his shoulders in discomfort but to you it seems like utter ignorance.
His nickname for you tastes like battery acid on your tongue. A pill thatâs hard to swallow. You donât like this facade heâs putting upâ not one bit.
âWhat are talking about? What guy?â Genuine confusion wraps itself snuggly around your psyche and itâs now Eddieâs turn to scoff in annoyance.
âOh, please! Donât act dumb, Sweetheart. I saw you and Eric together with my own two eyes. Giggling all cutelyâ showing him extreme interest. It was clear as day that you were into him.â
âInto him?â You echo, âI was simply being polite, Eddie. Thatâs the type of person that I am! Maybe you should try it sometime instead acting like an asshole!â The words spit from your lips like bullets and Eddie begins spiralling.
Had he got it all wrong? He knew you were a polite and gentle girl. Itâs one of the many reasons as to why he liked you. He couldnât help his mind from going to a dark place after seeing you together with Eric. It came to him as though it were second nature.
He had to run before he got gunned down.
âWait-â Eddie calls after you, his voice strangled as he leaves his post to jog behind you, his belt chain jingling with his movements, âPlease!â His hand clasps your shoulder softly and you spin around to face him. Your face is flushed with anger and Eddie is taken aback from the look in your eyes.
He had seen it so many time before from his peers.
Distaste. Annoyance. Fear. Fury.
All so familiar to him; but they look so foreign in your kind eyes.
âWhat?â Meeting him with the same blunt force he displayed earlier has his heart clenching; bracing for impact.
âI⌠I misunderstood.â
âYou think?â
âI just⌠Iâm not good at this.â He gestures between the pair of you. A shaky breath leaves Eddieâs lungs and you soften at the sight of him becoming dishevelled in front of you, âI donât know how to love. And⌠and I guess when I saw you with Eric it was my own insecurity eating me alive. I wasnât mad at you, I was mad at myself.â
The metal head leans against a near by wall for leverage and you move in closer to him, magnetised.
âI saw the life you could have. The life you deserve⌠and it wasnât with me.â His bottom lip quivers and you can see the struggle roaring in his eyes as he tries to contain his tears, âIâm afraid. Iâm afraid of getting hurt and being the one that hurts you.â
The answer was clear as day to you. You knew how to love unconditionally. You could be the one to teach him. To guide him. Eddie needed reassurance; thatâs all he needed and you could offer him that. You could work at this with him.
âYou donât get to decide who gets hurt in this world,â With shaking hands you reach out to touch Eddieâs face, your thumb stroking his cheek to catch a stray tear, âI can show you how to love. And how to be loved.â
Youâre smiling like an idiot, your heart pumping hopefulness throughout your entire being.
âYeah?â Eddie sniffles gently and you nod your head vigorously.
âYeah.â
Slender ringed fingers curl around your wrist and Eddie holds on tightly to the warmth of your skin against his.
âYou feelinâ reckless, Sweet girl?â The teary eyed man is smirking now and you fear for the future of your heart; it might just combust into flames at the sight of him.
âWell, that depends what you meanâŚâ you perk a brow, intrigued and Eddie laughs.
âLetâs ditch next period and grab those milkshakes I promised you.â
And without any further hesitation, you allow Eddie to take your hand into his and lead you out of school grounds and toward the rest of your lives together.
-
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Cat and mouse
synopsis: Your ex boyfriend has some nerve texting you at three in the morning â an entire week after the disaster breakup you had. You should really go over there and give him a piece of your mind. Well, you know what they say about famous last words. wc: 6.1k | crossposted to ao3 content: tomura shigaraki x female reader, no quirks au, toxic tomura, reader is kinda toxic too tbh, unhealthy relationships, breaking up and making up, vaginal fingering, overstim, breeding kink, piv, dubcon creampie, degredation, threats of baby trapping, hurt/comfort, sweet at the end idc
Youâve told your friends time and time again to stay out of your business. They never listen.Â
âOh my god, Kirishima? Is he even twenty yet?â You drag as you watch your friend flip through several pictures of the redheaded boy like he was a member of the bachelor.Â
She smiles, scrolling her phone for more options, âno, but he will be in a couple of months!â
âNo!â Your words are sharp. You love Mina but god, you donât want her to play matchmaker with you. Itâs not like youâre a charity case or something.Â
She gasps and you swear you could see the lightbulb go off above her head. âWhat about Denki? Heâs fun!âÂ
You groan, falling back onto the bed and covering your eyes with your arm. âMina.âÂ
âHey, just give her a break okay? Itâs only been about a week.â Your saving grace Yaoyorozu speaks up and itâs nice to finally have someone on your side.Â
âThank you.â
âSeriously? So weâre just going to sit around and watch you mope about all day?â Mina questions, irritation clear in her voice and it grates your ears. Â
âPreferably, yes! Just let me be.â You roll over, face officially shoved into your pillow. Itâs been a rough couple of days and you havenât gotten a single call or text from Tomura. Not that you should be expecting one. You broke up with him after all.Â
Itâs just.. this time feels different. Usually thereâs more arguing and heâs fighting for you to stay around, but this time there was nothing. No quips, no insults, just âfine, get out then.â
That hurt the most.Â
You had no idea what he was up to.Â
Maybe he was as depressed as you were.Â
Maybe heâs found someone else.Â
The thought makes you stop in your tracks. The idea of Tomura, your tomura with someone else is enough to make you nauseous.Â
You jump to your feet and rush to the bathroom, locking yourself in and falling to your knees.Â
God, what if that was why it was so easy?
You pull out your phone, the device lighting up and unlocking with your facial id.Â
Tomura doesnât use social media much but you could still check to see if heâd blocked you.Â
To your surprise, he hadnât.Â
He hasn't posted anything either and thereâs no new person in his followers.Â
You feel yourself exhale a breath you didnât realize you had been holding. No change is a good thing.Â
Thereâs knocking on the door and you thank the stars you locked it. Your friends would judge you so hard if they saw you lurking through your exâs social media.Â
âHey, are you okay in there?â Itâs your saving grace Yaoyorozu again and you almost feel bad for shutting her out.Â
âYeah, Iâm sorry if it feels like I pressured you! Iâll give you some space.â Mina's regretful voice calls and it makes your heart clench. You know she means well but she just doesnât understand. None of them do.Â
Whether you want to admit it or not, you love Tomura.Â
Yes, you argue and yes, you fight, but he just gets you. Heâs so cynical, but so caring â in his own special way. Too bad he was such an asshole. The argument wasnât even supposed to go that far.Â
There are tears beginning to blur your vision and you wipe them away, willing the feelings down and standing to your feet.Â
If he wanted you to stay away, then fine. You could do that.Â
You splash cool water onto your face and take a breath, steeling yourself and getting ready to face your friend once more. It was Saturday and they were convinced you needed a fun girlâs night.
It takes a lot to refrain from cringing at the phrase, but you believe they held some truth with the idea. You definitely didnât want to be alone right now.
You unlock the bathroom door, meeting Mina and Yaoyorozuâs worried expressions with a smile.Â
âWe should probably get ready now, huh?â
Minaâs eyes light up, smile blinding and excitement contagious.
âYes! Jirou and the others are here now.â She starts to clap, excitement buzzing around her, âGirlâs night is going to be amazing!âÂ
â-
Girlâs night was a bust.
The moment everyone arrived the apartment quickly filled with chaos. Noisy and busy, it was all giving you a headache. Until someone decided it would be a good idea to pregame before going out.
In preparation for the night your friendâs insisted that you get dolled up, hair makeup and skimpy clothes you wouldnât look twice at on any normal day.Â
You had to admit it made you a little more excited to get out and at least feel like your world isn't crashing around you. It was supposed to be a fun little night out. Somehow one drink turned into two, which turned into three which turned into Mina swearing she could beat everyone in a dance battle.Â
The group only got more riled up as everyone indulged in this silly challenge.Â
One challenge leads to another, which leads to more drinking, which then ends in everyone being too drunk to function and knocking out â all laid out in odd places around your living room floor and couch.Â
The groggy feeling came first, your arms radiating in dull pain as you vaguely recalled trying to beat Mina in a contest of who could do the most push ups. It sure as hell wasn't you, but the drunk version of you thought it was possible to move mountains.Â
You blink a few times, trying to will your eyes to rapidly adjust to the darkness of the room and find out what this odd buzzing noise beside you had been. Turning over, you find your phone, squinting as the too bright screen lights up your face and you see that it is three a.m.
You had fallen asleep with everyone else.
The phone buzzes again, lighting up and you have to squint further to read the contact name.
Tomura.Â
Your eyes widen as you scan over the three texts heâs sent you.Â
Wasting no time, you rush to your feet and into the bathroom so you can look at your phone without the chance of prying eyes overlooking your shoulder. Even though they were probably going to be out until late morning.
Tomuraâs messages were short, no paragraphs, no essays but three different messages sent in succession.Â
When are you coming to get your shit?
Iâm tired of waiting.
And Iâm deleting our farm btw.Â
The first two messages donât get much of a reaction from you, especially since itâs three a.m and he knows youâre usually asleep around this time.Â
But the third messageâŚ
Your Stardew Valley farm that youâve had and worked on together for almost two years being put on the line and threatened? What the fuck was his problem?
This farm was a constant in your relationship. Throughout the ups and downs and back and forths. You were sure that hell would freeze over before you both would give up that progress. But here he is, threatening you while you would have been asleep. What an asshole.
Your feet are moving before your brain can stop them and you make your way to the front door. Since your friends were all passed out it would be easy to sneak over to Shigarakiâs place, give him a piece of your mind and then sneak back. In and out, quick and easy.Â
Your decision is made and you grab your coat, deciding to just go over there as you are. You hadnât changed out of your outfit that was supposed to be for the night out, but it didnât matter. You only needed to get over there and get there fast.
Once you arrive at Tomuraâs doorstep you waste no time knocking. Itâs around three in the morning so he should still very much be awake.Â
There's a chill in the air as you wait for his answer and you wrap your jacket closer to your body. A rumble of thunder caught your attention and it's then you notice the rain clouds rolling in. You knew it would only be a matter of time before the bottom of the sky falls out and rain drenches everything. You were on borrowed time if you wanted to make it back before then.
After what feels like forever the door finally opens, revealing a very cozy pajama-clad Tomura, who seemed a little too pleased for his own good â if that sly smile he was doing a bad job at hiding was anything to go by.Â
You don't give him a chance to greet you or say anything for that matter, stopping his words in their tracks as you cut him off. âWhat do you want?â
He doesnât bother hiding his smirk now, the expression making your fists clench and your anger boil. âWhat do I want? Youâre at my door, in front of my apartment.â He scoffs, clearly getting the exact reaction he had wanted from you, âI should be asking what do you want?âÂ
Caught like a deer in headlights. Whatever, you don't let that stop you as you pull out your phone to show him his text. âYou sent this, I know youâre bluffing. What do you want?â
Tomura shrugs, leaning against his door frame and giving you a pleased look. Expression relaxed and content. Not a care in the world. âTo talk.â
âWell, I'm here now, so letâs talk.â You spit, crossing your arms and waiting for whatever else he would throw at you.Â
âSure, but you should come in first.â He starts, looking up towards the darkened sky, confirming his assessment. âItâs gonna rain soon, you know.â
Of course you knew that.Â
You just didnât want to give him more time than you had. But you agree and go in, ignoring the fighting feeling in the back of your mind screaming at you to turn away and hightail it out of there.Â
Tomuraâs home is the exact way it was the day you left, give or take a few more containers of takeout littered around the place. You have half a mind to scold him about it, but quickly remember that it isnât your place to do that anymore.Â
So instead you stay quiet, following him into the apartment and into the living room. Opting to stand as he sat, and resisted the urge to get comfortable.Â
âSo, what do you want to talk about?â You try, done watching him pick up a controller and boot up a video game. Seriously?Â
Your patience was wearing thin now as you watched him ignore you to play some stupid game. You try calling to him again, knowing this was probably a waste of your time and groans.
âI was in the middle of something before you got here. Let me finish and weâll talk.â It's flippant the way he waves you off and continues the game. The lack of care only hurting your feelings further and making you realize this may have all been a big mistake on your part.
You shouldnât be at your ex boyfriendâs house being ignored. You should be at your house getting drunk and hanging out with your best friends. There was no reason to stay somewhere youâre obviously not valued.
Itâs a simple choice when you put it into perspective.Â
But things are always easier said than done.Â
You sigh, the air puffing out your cheeks, a bad habit you had when angry, and walk right in front of Tomuraâs TV. There was more satisfaction in making him lose the game and then announcing your departure than just leaving quietly.Â
He cranes his neck to see around you, but it doesnât work, finally giving up as his character inevitably dies. âWhat!?â
âIâm leaving!â You announced, turning on your heel and heading towards the front door.
âYou had to make me lose first? I said I was almost done!â He spat back, rising from the couch to follow you.
You shrug, âI donât care. Why invite me in if youâre just going to ignore me?â
âDidnât think you had the patience of a child.'' Tomura stands in front of you, cutting through your path and stopping you in your tracks.
It's almost comical the way he insults you. âOkay pot, meet kettle.â You try to brush past him, but he side steps with you.Â
âWhat are you dressed like that for anyway? Did you go out tonight or something?â
âNo!â You deny, a little louder than intended and then pause. âBut itâs none of your business what I do anyway.â
Tomura hums at this, taking the words in and running them through his mind as he gives you a once over, eyes scanning from the too-tight shirt you wore â showing a generous amount of cleavage, down to your mini skirt that left little to the imagination.Â
âCould've fooled me.â
âWhat do you mean by that?â You hate when he gives you cryptic answers, like itâs impossible to pry into his mind to see what he was thinking at the moment.Â
âYou knew you were coming to see me so I dont get why you're wearing that skimpy shit. Unless you wanted me to check you out.â
âNot everything is about you, Tomura. Maybe I just wanted to dress up and look nice.â
âBullshitââ
âGod, Tomura you always fucking do this!â You yell, walking right up into his face. The excitement in his scarlet eyes sends a chill up your spin, but you canât back down.Â
He gets closer, matching your tone and you can still see the grin heâs trying to hide. It makes you see red. âDo what? Tell you the truth? You know Iâm not wrong.â
âYeah, you think you know everything, but you donât. Iâm dressed up because I want to be, not because of you.â Youâre insisting at this point, frustration threatening to tip over and spill out into the form of another pointless argument. Why did you think you could actually come over and have a decent conversation with him?
Tomura is a master at getting under your skin and hitting where it hurts. In all of your arguments heâs never really pulled out the big shots but you wouldnât put it past him to do so now.Â
âOh, so you come over to my place dressed like a slut and you expect me to believe you donât have some hidden motive?â
And there it is.
Your last straw. He could be so egotistical and mean â youâve had it.Â
You regret it the moment you do it, but your body moves before your brain can process your actions. You push Tomura. Hard.Â
He doesnât fall back far but you know itâs enough to piss him off. And heâs never been one to hold anything back, so he shoves you back and your back hits the wall.Â
Tomura has you pinned before you know it and thereâs a thrill that runs through your body in a way you know you shouldnât be feeling. Your knees feel weak for reasons that are not related to fear and your panties were gradually becoming more wet.Â
His voice is low and his eyes are narrowed as he pins you against the wall, pressing your cheeks together with his other hand. âYouâre really starting to piss me off.â
You have to bite back a smile, knowing this has taken a turn and you arenât strong enough to stop where itâs going. Not that you would want to.Â
âOh yeah? If I piss you off so badly then why are you hard?â
He doesnât look down. He can feel his own arousal just as well as you can while itâs pressed against your abdomen.Â
Tomura pushes off of you â maintaining some distance as he turns away.Â
âYouâre fucking annoying.â
âSure am.â You supply, chipper and certain as you trail behind him.Â
Heâs walking further into the apartment, and you follow. Legs moving on their own accord as you go further into the lion's den, exchanging quips and insults. You jab your finger into his shoulder, bothered by the way he continues to ignore you, it's a pathetic attempt at catching his attention and it works. Kind of.Â
The only response being him slapping your hand away with a glare and muttering a soft fuck off as he walked on.Â
You both went back and forth. Like the sun and moon, you just canât stay away from each other. Â
It was how these things usually went between you and Tomura. He would start up, make a petty argument and you would never back down. Tomura is someone who was used to getting his way and others simply did what he said with no objections.Â
But that was not how you were.
And he loved it.
You knew by the way he would get that devious glimmer in his eye when you would challenge a point, starting up a debate. Sometimes they were heated enough to make you both break up. It never lasted more than a few days. A week being the longest.
Push and pull.Â
Tomura made his way past you again, ignoring your calls about how you hate being ignored. At this point youâre sure heâs doing it on purpose to rile you up more but you canât help but take the bait. You grab his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face you as you point a finger in his face.Â
âStop walking away from me!âÂ
He grabs your wrist and pulls you closer, making you stumble on your feet and almost lose balance. You were so close you could feel the heat from his body and smell the fresh linen scent of his shirt. âDonât tell me what to do.âÂ
You snatch your wrist away from him, tension between you two growing hotter by the second as the space between you got thinner.Â
âWhat are you going to do about it?âÂ
The narrowing of his eyes only made your grin grow wider as you watched the gears turn in his head as he thought about just how many things he would do about it. All of it enticed you, so you beat him to the punch.Â
You reach forward again, fully intending to shove his shoulder again for another reaction, another glare, maybe even more words, but he stops you. It was fast, the way you both tumbled through the hallway as Tomura crashed his lips to yours. The relief of finally feeling his lips again meshed with the excitement of how rough he was with you.Â
You lose yourself in the kiss, welcoming him in with open arms as you vaguely register the dark walls of his room and posters plastered along the walls in your scuffle.
It was exciting, probably the best part of breaking up and making up. At this point you think the whole point of falling apart is coming back together again. An endless cycle where the reward is worth the punishment.Â
Cat and mouse.Â
You end up on top of him, straddling his hips while your smug smile beams down at him. Tomura gives you an unamused look in return, yet the way his hands rested on your thighs gave away the ill hidden interest. It was all the encouragement you needed as you leaned down, hovering above him with both hands on his chest.Â
âNot so tough now, are you?â
Itâs bait. You know itâs bait, he knows itâs bait, but he takes it anyway â the way you knew he would.Â
Tomura wastes no time flipping the both of you over, quickly reversing your positions as he settled himself between your legs. Itâs dangerous the way his actions riled you up further, and you have to bite your lip to keep the smile from betraying your false anger. You couldnât let him know how excited you were to be back in his bed.Â
He presses your cheeks together and rocks your head left to right, tone mocking and eyes wild with fever, âOh, look whoâs become a firecracker all of the sudden. Where did that flame come from, huh?â
You want to respond, but Tomura beats you to it, releasing your cheeks and pointing a nimble finger against your forehead, âDonât be dumb.â
His eyes trail from yours and then down to your lips, then finally down to your exposed cleavage. The movement was swift as he cupped one of your breasts in his hand and dipped down, claiming your lips again. It was softer than the first time but not by much, especially not when he matched his pace by grinding his clothed erection into you, making you moan at the contact.Â
Your skirt was so short and it made you feel even more exposed than you already were. Tomura had easy access to you and the thin fabric of your panties made everything feel so much closer.Â
You moan at the contact, swiping your tongue against Tomuraâs bottom lip and wasting no time deepening the kiss as you pull him closer. You needed more and you needed it as soon as possible.Â
Tomura pulled the low cut front of your shirt down, easily exposing your breasts from the confines of the shirt and massaged them, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your nipples and making you cry out from the sensitivity.Â
He pulls away from you, eyes gazing into yours and you swore in that moment he put you in a trance. Tomuraâs ruby red gaze always left you mesmerized and you canât help the whimper that leaves your lips, brows furrowed and eyes wanting, âPlease.â
âPlease what?â And heâs not taunting you, heâs not mocking you. His eyes are soft as he brings a hand to your cheek. âTell me what you want.â
âYou.â Fuck, youâve missed him. âI just want you.â
Thereâs a hint of a smile on his face as he strokes your cheek, soft look in his eyes making your heart flutter, and then itâs gone. Replaced by a hardened gaze as he moves to remove your shirt and bra, fully exposing you to his hungry eyes, and then moves to remove your short skirt.Â
His hands hover there for a moment, debating whether or not he should keep it on and fuck you in it, but then decides against the idea and pulls it off, taking your soaked panties down with it as well.Â
The air in the room feels cool against your skin as you shiver in anticipation.Â
âFuck,â Tomura whispers, now eye level with your cunt. You gasp as he runs two fingers between your wet folds and holds the digits up to show you. Syrupy clear slick clung to them, slowly trailing down as Tomura rose back up, eye level with you once more.Â
âYouâre so wetâŚâ He murmured, bringing the digits to your mouth and you opened, taking them into your mouth and tasting yourself. You kept eye contact as you watched his eyes widen in delight â Tomura loved it when you put on a show for him.
Thereâs another moment of Tomura pressing against your tongue with his fingers and then he pulls them out, opting for a kiss in exchange, his tongue dipping into your mouth and groaning as he could taste whatâs left of your slick on you as well.
The pleasant feeling and linguid action of your movements made your shoulders relax as you practically melted into his soft bed, the feeling of his body above yours bringing you mountains of comfort. It was a distraction, of course.Â
You felt the same two of Tomuraâs fingers prod at your slick entrance before pressing in fully and all the way down to the knuckle. The stretch was intense but the pressure was euphoric, making you squeeze your eyes shut and grip him closer.Â
He didnât make you wait long as he pumped his fingers, quickly finding that sensitive spot so deep inside of you that only he could pinpoint and brushing against it over and over.Â
The feeling was so good it made you pull away from the kiss to breathe, thighs twitching and toes curling in pleasure. You wouldnât last long like this.
âTomura, fuck..!â You moaned, drowning in ecstasy as he continued his abuse of your spot, never letting up or slowing down, aiming to make you cum as quickly as he could. It was obvious he wanted you to come undone as soon as possible by the way he watched your every expression.Â
The way your brows furrowed to the way you bit your lip. Tomura eagerly drank every expression and gave it back to you in the form of pleasure.Â
âWhat?â He started, unphased by your dilemma, âGonna cum?â
It took a lot of focus and effort, but you nod â done with fighting for the night and accepting the fact that you will come apart quickly. So you give in to the pleasure.Â
Tomura smiles, a devious grin splitting his features as he curls his fingers, hitting the spot one more time for good measure and you lose composure, your climax crashing into you like a tidal wave. There was nothing you could do besides ride the feeling while holding on to Tomura tight â like you would get swept away if you didnât.Â
He fucks you through it with his fingers, eyes never leaving your face as you come down from your high.Â
âPent up, huh?â He questions, and this time there is that little hint of teasing. It brings you back to reality.Â
Yes, you have been pent up. You havenât been able to get off to anything since youâve broken up and itâs been hell.Â
You have no time for the games, you just want him and you want him now.Â
So, you take Tomuraâs face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes. The flecks of black in his carmine eyes always makes you remember why you come back. Every single time.Â
âFuck me, please, Tomura.â It's soft and filled with desire that you cannot be bothered to hide, and Tomura has never been one to deny you.
He quickly discards his own clothes, making sure to not stay away from you for long. His cock is hard and leaking precum from the head as he strokes it in preparation. You feel giddy at the thought and watch as he slides the head of his cock between your folds, coating it with your slick, and rubbing against your clit. The action makes your hips twitch up towards him.Â
He loves to tease and make you wait, but today he doesnât make you wait long. Tomura leans down after lining himself up with your entrance and places his free hand behind your head, right above the nape of your neck. His hands were warm and the feeling of those hands cradling your head felt so comforting in the space of his familiar dark bedroom.Â
You bring a hand to his hair, tangling your fingers in his ashen locks as he pushes forward. The stretch makes you whimper and Tomura captures your lips in a kiss again, swallowing the noises and releasing a groan of his own as your walls tighten around his cock.Â
There's something about the way Tomura drags his hips, the way he starts off at a slow pace, winding you up as he steadily increases his speed and force. It happens so gradually that you don't realize youâre screaming his name until he tells you to shut up â threatening to cover your mouth because he didn't want his neighbors to hear how much of a slut you were.
It drove you mad the way he said it all with a smile and fucked you harder. Almost daring you to be louder so he can punish you with a hand over your mouth.
Tomura knew how rough you liked it and he always delivered, giving you back arching pleasure as he pounded into you. It leaves you gasping and struggling to keep your voice down. Your hands find the surface of his back, trying to hold on as much as you could with building pleasure on the horizon.Â
âTomuâ Tomura..! Please,â you cry and he doesnât miss a beat, driving his cock so deep against your sweet spot it makes you see stars. âFuck..!âÂ
âYeah, thatâs it.â Tomura cooed, eyes filled with mischief as he brought you closer to the edge. âCry for me.â
And you do, your body feeling euphoric as the feeling buzzed up your spine and filled your brain with the fuzz of ecstasy.Â
âWhat are you gonna do, huh?â He starts, his hips grinding against you, the closeness of his pelvis rubs against your clit, making you cry out again, âWhat are you gonna do when I breed this pretty cunt and make sure youâre stuck with me forever?â
Heâs bluffing, you know Tomura doesnât want kids. Heâs just trying to gauge your reaction. Your dedication.Â
âTomuraâŚâ You only moan, breath catching as he hits that spot inside you that he knows so well.Â
Tomura is smiling, wild and devious, as you look up at him with glossy eyes, so close to crying from the feelings, âIâm gonna do it. Iâll make you mine forever and you canât do anything about it.âÂ
âAh!â You should stop him, tell him to calm down but he has your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your back arching off of the bed. Everything is blurring together and you can only slur words as the drool from your earlier kiss trails down your cheek.Â
You are completely at his mercy like this and you know your friends would be beyond disappointed. Â
It just feels so good the way his cock drags in and out of your body pulling moans and whines from your throat. He was relentless in the way he pounded into you â beyond the point of being soft and slow because he knows thatâs exactly you like it.Â
âSay you want it.â The command comes with the slowing of his hips and you whine, high and needy as Tomura slows to a near stop.
âTomura, Iââ
âSay you want it or I swear to god Iâll stop right now.â Itâs a threat and you donât want to find out if heâll go through with it. Tomura never goes back on his word.Â
âNo, please, donâtâ I want it!â you pant, frustrated and aching for more movement.
âI want you to,â you stammer, desperate to have your release. âI donât care if you cum in me. I need you so bad.â
âThatâs my girl,â He coos, dipping his head down onto your shoulder, âFuck.. love you sâmuchâ
You stop â youâve never heard him say that. Ever. You doubted he would ever say it since itâs been so long.Â
He doesnât give you a chance to ruminate on it because he's picking up the pace again and giving you the friction you were so deeply in need of. The feelings are swimming in your head as your cries reach new heights. Tomura is too far gone to stop you or care and youâre thankful. You couldnât stop yourself if you tried.Â
The build of your orgasm crashes down and sends you with it, making your thighs quiver in pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut. Tomuraâs mouth meets yours before you could cry out, the warmth of his tongue guiding you as he fucked you through it.Â
He didnât last long after, the way your walls tightened around him with the force of your orgasm has Tomuraâs pace erratic as he chased his own high.Â
The bed shook as Tomura finally finished, hips stuttered as he released inside of you, hot seed coating your insides and making heat rise to your cheeks. He really did it.
You watch as he slows to a stop above you, his eyes closed as he enjoys the feeling of release. Tomuraâs breathing was heavy and you couldnât stop yourself from bringing him down into another kiss, traveling from his lips to his cheeks and then back again.Â
It was intimate and you were worried it may have been too much, given the reason you were both in this situation was because of a stupid breakup.Â
Tomuraâs pulls out of you, making you wince and taking the feeling of being so full away from you. He doesnât go far, opting to stay on top of you and rest his head on your shoulder, wanting to keep you as close as possible.Â
âYou really piss me off.â He mumbles into your shoulder, out of breath and tired. âGod, why canât you just stay with me.â
âTomuraâŚâ Your hands run through his hair, the sweat is making it stick to his forehead as you wait for him to keep talking.Â
âStop leaving me.â His voice is firm, unwavering.
âYou told me to go.âÂ
âI didnât think you fucking would. I would never actually want you to.â
âI canât read between the lines Tomura, Iâm not in your head.â You make him look at you this time, pulling his hair a little to get him to raise his head. âDid you mean it?â
âI just said I didnâtââ
âNo, the other thing you said.â He gives you a look of pure confusion and you lose a little bit of hope, âwhen you said you loved me?âÂ
You stare into his carmine eyes, hoping, praying it wasnât just pillow talk from the heat of the moment.Â
He looks at you for a long time, frustration still wearing on his features. If you didnât know any better you would say he was pouting. âOf course I meant it. Iâve always felt like that.â
âBut youâve never said it!â
âI show it!â
âHow?â This is getting frustrating and going in circles.Â
He groans, sitting up and taking his warmth with him. âIâm not going to sit here and list everything Iâve ever done for you. I donât think it works like that.â
You open your mouth to counter, irritation on your tongue because thatâs not what you meant, but Tomura stops you again.Â
âI donât know how to explain it, okay?â He shakes his head and sighs, laying next to you on the bed and looking up at his ceiling. âItâs weird. I have these strong feelings, but itâs not hate, it's not anger. It's the opposite of that.â
You stare at him as he focuses ahead, keeping his eyes trained on the uninteresting ceiling above.
âFather said itâs a weakness and I should feel that way but,â Thereâs a pause as he looks away from the ceiling, meeting your eyes finally, âif itâs so weak of me, then why are the feelings so strong?âÂ
Your heart aches. It's clear that heâs torn, and with the strange way he was raised you know that he canât help the way he is.Â
âTomuraâŚâÂ
âAnd it wonât go away. I canât fight them down or push them away like I can with everything else. It eats me up and I⌠guess I lash out because of it.â He shakes his head and for the first time Tomura looks defeated. Youâve never seen him this way â heâs always been filled with confidence and self assured. âI just donât know what to do.â
You bring a hand to his cheek as you press your forehead against his. It kills you that this is whatâs been on his mind and you arenât sure what you could do to fix it. Maybe there was nothing you could do, physically, but you would do your best to be there for him emotionally.
âSometimes,â you try to be careful with your words, knowing how much Tomura looks up to his foster father even though the man has been nothing but strange to him. âPeople say things that arenât true because they donât know how to live with it.â
Tomuraâs guardian cannot live with love nor the idea of it.Â
âThat doesn't mean you have to live that way.âÂ
And itâs the truth.Â
Tomura doesnât say anything, just watches you with heavy lidded eyes, ruby red nearly glowing in the low light of the room. He was so much more than what people thought they knew of him and you didnât care if it took time for others to see that.
He leans in, closing his eyes and you meet him halfway into a kiss.Â
It's warm and it's soft and you know that even when your phone is buzzing from dozens of missed calls and texts from your friends, it will be fine.Â
You and Tomura would take things one day at a time.
#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki tomura x you#shigaraki tomura x reader#tomura x reader#mha x reader#my works#tomura shigaraki smut#shigaraki smut#shigaraki tomura smut#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x you
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Matchmaker
Summary: JJ tries to set Spencer up with Henry's pediatrician.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x pediatrician fem!reader
Category: fluff
Warnings/Includes: none!
Word count: 1.1k
a/n: gonna grab his cute little face and smooooochhhhhh
btw i will be posting on tuesday's and friday's because they won the poll but this is a bonus thursday post because i'm hungover and want spencer's love
main masterlist
âHey, Spence!â JJ called out as she strolled into the bullpen, her bright smile making Spencer look up from the file he was reviewing.
âWhatâs up, JJ?â Spencer replied, adjusting his glasses and setting the file aside to give her his full attention.
âSo, I was thinkingâŚâ JJ began, her tone light and playful, but before she could finish, Emily chimed in from across the room, a grin spreading across her face.
âWell, thatâs never good,â Emily chuckled, earning an amused roll of the eyes from JJ.
âLove you too, Em,â JJ shot back, her voice dripping with mock sarcasm before she refocused on Spencer. âAnyway, as I was saying, I was thinking, youâd be a really good match for Henryâs pediatrician.â
Spencer blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting the conversation to take this turn. âOhhh, whatâs she like? Super brainiac nerd?â Emily teased, wiggling her eyebrows at Spencer, who scoffed lightly.
âRude,â Spencer shot back with a half-smile before turning back to JJ, his expression softening. âAnd uh, thatâs nice of you, JJ⌠but Iâm not really looking to be set up.â
JJ, undeterred, leaned against Spencerâs desk, her eyes sparkling with that familiar mix of determination and affection. âOh, come on, just meet her. Sheâs the best! I know you guys will click.â
Spencerâs smile faded slightly as he considered her words, his brow furrowing in thought. After a moment, he sighed, his tone gentle but resolute. âSorry, JJ. Iâm not interested. Itâs sweet of you to think about me, though.â
Spencer assumed that was the end of the conversation, especially since JJ didnât bring up the mystery woman again in the days that followed. He thought he was in the clear, believing that JJ had respected his decision. Little did he know, JJ wasnât one to give up so easily, especially when she believed she was doing something good for someone she cared about.
â
âHey, babe,â you greeted Spencer when he answered the phone, your voice warm and light, immediately bringing a smile to his face.
âHi,â he replied, and even through the phone, you could hear the smile in his voice, the simple greeting filling you with that familiar warmth.
You and Spencer had only been seeing each other for about six weeks, but those six weeks had been transformativeâarguably the best of both of your adult lives. Every moment spent together seemed to be a little brighter, a little more meaningful, as if you had both found something truly special.
âWhatâs up?â you asked, settling into a comfortable spot on your couch, your curiosity piqued by the call.
âWell,â Spencer began, his voice carrying a note of hopeful anticipation, âI was going to see if you would want to hang out Friday night. We could watch that movie I was telling you about.â
A smile spread across your face, touched by his thoughtfulness, but a twinge of regret quickly followed. âAwe, Spence. Iâd love to, but my friend actually invited me out that night. Iâm sorry, honey.â
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, just long enough for you to wonder if he might be disappointed. But then Spencerâs voice came back, just as warm and understanding as always. âOh, itâs okay, maybe Saturday?â
Relief washed over you, your smile returning in full force. âI can do that! Put me in your calendar, genius.â
âWill do,â Spencer said, and you could almost picture the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. âIâll see you Saturday then?â
âSee you then, canât wait,â you replied, your voice full of genuine excitement. The anticipation of spending more time with him was something you both shared, and as you ended the call, you couldnât help but feel that familiar flutter in your chest, counting down the days until Saturday.
â
Seeing as Spencer didnât have any plans for Friday night, it didnât take much convincing for the team to drag him out for drinks at their usual bar. The large booth was already filled with the familiar hum of conversation and laughter as the team chatted amongst themselves, waiting for JJ to arrive. The atmosphere was relaxed, the kind that only comes from years of friendship and countless nights spent together unwinding after a long week.
When JJ finally walked in, the group greeted her with smiles and waves, but it didnât take long for them to notice that she wasnât alone. Following close behind her was another person, and as they got closer, Spencerâs eyes widened in disbelief. No way.
âHey guys!â JJ greeted, her voice full of excitement. âThis is my friend, Y/N! Sheâs Henryâs pediatrician, and she is absolutely amazing. Spencer, this is who I wanted you to meet.â
Spencer couldnât even try to hold it in. The absurdity of the situation hit him all at once, and before he knew it, he was laughingâright in JJâs face. It wasnât just a chuckle, either; it was a full, genuine laugh, the kind that took him by surprise as much as it did the rest of the team.
âReid, have some manners. What is wrong with you?â Derekâs voice cut through the laughter, laced with awkward confusion. He wasnât used to seeing Spencer act this way, especially not when meeting someone new.
But before Spencer could even attempt to explain himself, you joined in, your own laughter bubbling up as you leaned down toward him, completely unbothered by the awkwardness. With a playful smile, you kissed Spencer on the lips, the simple, affectionate gesture leaving everyone at the table stunned.Â
âHi, baby,â you greeted him warmly, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
Spencer, still grinning, managed to recover enough to return the greeting, âHi.â
The rest of the team stared in shock, jaws practically on the floor, while JJâs expression morphed from confusion to wide-eyed realization. âWait⌠you two know each other?â she asked, her voice rising in surprise.
âOh, we more than know each other,â you teased, taking a seat next to Spencer and intertwining your fingers with his. âIâm Spencerâs girlfriend.â
Derekâs eyes widened as he looked between the two of you. âAnd you didnât tell us, pretty boy?â
Spencer shrugged, a bit sheepish but mostly amused by the whole situation. âIt just⌠never came up.â
Emily finally broke the silence with a laugh. âWell, this is one way to find out!â
JJ groaned, burying her face in her hands for a moment before laughing along with the rest of the group. âI canât believe I tried to set you up with someone youâre already dating!â
âItâs okay, JJ,â Spencer reassured her, still holding your hand. âAt least you know that your matchmaking skills would have worked out.â
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tag list <333 @spencerreidsreads @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @reggieswriter @loumouse @mentallyunwellsposts @time-himself @chaneladdicted @kathrynlakestone @furrybouquettrash @hearts4spensco @gilwm @khxna @charismatic-writer @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @noelliece @dreamsarebig
#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#bau team#bau family#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert
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glory box - jude bellingham x reader.
quick sum: pr stunts looks good on paper and online, but no one ever truly know what happens behind closed doors. when deciding to abruptly terminating your contract, youâre faced with a unsettlement that canât be resolved until you confess the truth and nothing but the truth.
wc: 7k | masterlist | judeâs masterlist
psađŁď¸: this contain smut so minors please dni! đ content ahead contains unprotected p and v, being tied up, handjob, oral on f, and being edged. a bunch of angst but fluff as promised! my longest story yet and I really love this :PP insta au's included throughout the story! like always hope you enjoy! đ¤
the streets were quieter than usual, always filled with people walking up and down, on their bikes, or with loud cars driving by. it could have been due to the weather, the grey skies and cold air, immediately making people rather stay inside than stroll around. you would rather be those people, either finish packing for your move to germany, or sit on the couch and eat sweets all night.Â
the decision was made rapidly. being accepted to uni and the internship that would help you start of your career, going full ride as long as you made no mistakes or fell behind. you felt utterly grateful and full of joy, but that would mean moving away from the place you called home, to a newer city alone.Â
here you had your uni friends, and some family, you weren't alone. leaving all this behind meant leaving them which you weren't prepared for. no one is ever prepared for a sudden goodbye, you hated goodbyes, it made you feel even guiltier. it wasnât easy to break the news, with many tears and reminiscing, though the support would always be there, their words of encouragement making you feel less regretful.Â
although you had one thing left to do, which was terminate the pr contract with no other than him. jude bellingham. the pr stunt that was made strictly professional turned into no other a friends with benefits situation. it was risky business, and became awkward when strangers or close friends asked you personal questions about the relationship. kids, marriage, how long you had been together, how you met. your life became a lie and you were tired of that. Â
was it a foolish idea? totally. but you needed the money nonetheless, school became expensive and then you hardly could eat because you could never afford the groceries after paying utilities, your job not paying you enough even after the amount of work you put in. if there was another way, you wouldn't have hesitated to take it.Â
you weren't looking forward to this, because saying goodbye to jude would make every plan and decision you made official. you would have had your pr manager do it for you but you felt the need for closure, even though it would be hard to receive that when jude was famously known everywhere. you and him were famously known everywhere. the it couple.Â
they only saw what was posted online or on paper. a happy smiling couple walking into a dinner setting hand to hand, a media event consisting of many red carpet photos, being âdiscreetlyâ caught late at night stealing kisses, oh don't get started on the game day photos, or photo dumps jude did on his feed and story dedicated to you⌠they never knew what happened behind closed doors. it was all fake.Â
the door opened, the creak making you squint your eyes and cover your ear. you saw jude walk in with the guy who made all of the pr stunt come to light, jonah. jude sent you his pearly white smile, a sudden wave of nausea hit you, reminding you about the first time you came here to officially sign off on the deal, now it was you terminating it.Â
you quickly greeted jonah, avoiding jude because now you felt it impossible to do what you wanted to do. his confusion went unnoticed by jonah, but you could see hurt flash him, as judeâs body language completely changed. his hand trying to discreetly catch your attention to him. if there was one thing jude hated more than anything, it was being left out.Â
âso to what do we owe this pleasure, y/n? must be something good?â jonah sipped onto his warm latte completely oblivious. you pursed your lips and looked up, feeling judeâs brown eyes drown into you. he watched as you pulled out a manilla folder, your hands slightly shaking as you opened it to reveal the contract.Â
âiâm here to terminate the contract we have,â you said softly with a barely present smile, jonah choked on his drink, turning away to cough loudly in pure shock. you couldn't see it but you could almost feel the plastered face of confusion on judeâs face at your words. jude was stunned, not able to process your words. terminate our contract?Â
âwhat are you talking about? what are you on about?â jude spoke as his brummie accent popped out more than usual, furrowing his brows as his hand finally touched your thigh trying to get you to look at him, but it only irritated him more as your attention was on jonah.
âyou said if we wanted out, of this,â you pointed at the two of you, the empty space, âwe had to give each other, well everyone, a two months heads up,â you stuttered, feeling your nervous system go crazy.Â
âi spoke to you about this a while ago, but i made my decisionâŚâ you said surely, jonah nodding his head either in affirmation or still slightly stunned by your sudden loss in the deal. ây/n, i don't get why though? we still have a couple of months left? we have upcoming events and charities!â jude said with a crazed look.Â
when jude saw you couldn't face or let alone speak to him like an adult, he scoffed and leaned back onto the chair, âno! i donât agree to this. i won't agree to terminate the contract.â so many thoughts raced into his head, desperately wanting to know why you wanted out, or if someone was bothering you. he wanted to fight for you, to keep you away from whatever was pushing you away.Â
âiâm afraid it is in the contract jude⌠if the other party wants out they have the right to do so⌠with or without the other personâs agreement,â jonah spoke defeatedly, running a hand along his forehead. âiâm guessing you know the terms and conditions that apply to this right?â he asked facing you, âyes, my pr person told me about it. i'm fully aware of the consequences.â
jude couldn't wrap his head around the fact you would be going along with this. that in just two weeks you would be gone, and a present reminder of the taint you left behind. was it the sudden fame you got that bothered you into doing this? had he done or said something to push you away? was there someone else who got your attention?
that made him even more upset, and jealous even. thinking of someone else making you happy when it wasn't him next to you. he envied the person if there was one, who got to hold your hand, smile at you, or dared to look into your eyes. those eyes he watched rolled back as he hit that spot that made you shiver breathless, the eyes that glistened when you laughed, eyes that he could get lost into, the eyes that never lied. even if the contract didn't state it like he envisioned, you were his. Â
maybe it was a mistake to start a habit or create that barrier of awkwardness when you agreed to have what you had. but soon he realized just how attached he was to you, calling whenever he felt the need to be next to you, making unscheduled dates to see you even if it was for an hour or two, always having his arm around you no matter where you went.Â
âitâs so beautiful here!â you said excitedly, with your eyes dazed and smile as you stared into the tulip field. you ushered him to hurry, immediately walking to the rows of flowers that layed ahead of you. he couldnât stop watching, the way the sunset had a glow on you as you leaned down every now and then to smell the flowery scent.Â
his hands engulfed your from behind, making you laugh loudly and turning to hug him thanking him quickly. It didnt feel fake, it felt real, the way his heart stopped everytime you spoke or laughed, when you pointed in the distance, when you told him a childhood story of how you became obsessed with gardens.Â
âif i could buy this field, it would all be yours. i would do anything to see you this happy and excited every day⌠youâre so beautiful y/nâŚâ he tucked your hair back and kissed you. it felt exactly how he planned the date, with butterflies and a sense of home.Â
âiâll have the terminated contract ready by next early next month. it will be signed by me and jude by then, you can drop them off at the office after you sign,â jonah said. the three of you said nothing, not a single peep or action. you jumped, the table shaking as the drinks almost spilled, when jude stood up and walked out and yelled out, âthis is bullshit!â.Â
your heart thumped in apprehension, knowing jude reacted the way you pictured it. your eyes followed him as he rapidly walked out, disappearing into the crowds of people by the intersection. your eyes stung, feeling the irritation and picturing just how red they would get, jonah squeezed your hand in comfort, âdo you wanna talk about it? i know itâs not my place to ask, but iâm open to hearâŚâÂ
you hesitated to speak but you felt like you owed it to him at least, âiâve accepted to move abroad for school and work, and iâm moving away soon. i thought about it closely enough and i just don't think physically and mentally couldâve managed this pr relationship with my daily life. i did it most off for a new chapter and start, to leave out the old and bring in the new.â
âwell, first of all congratulations! iâm very proud of you for always being a tough fighter and always dedicated to your studies. it takes a warrior to do that especially when dealing with a contract like this, having to judge your every move and ignore the comments they say. like you said, if you felt the need to begin something new, go for it! youâre young and smart, and i know this move will be perfect,â jonah said encouraging.Â
âand iâm glad you were able to think of the risks and sacrifices you wouldâve faced if you continued it. the traveling, not being able to focus on studies or on the job, the fake smiles and interviews, plastering your face here and there for companies knowing you weren't happy. it doesn't make you selfish, quite frankly it makes you stronger, y/n,â jonah continued.Â
âi know it isn't just that though... something deeper happened between you and jude. whatever it is i feel like you should tell him before it's too late. even a blind bird could see the tension, i think that is why it made your relationship even more believable⌠it didn't look like a pr stunt to me, especially with the hidden glances.â
you rapidly blinked the tears that threatened to fall down your hot cheeks, forcing yourself to smile and show no indication of how the move, jude, terminating the contract made you feel. blinking away at the image of judeâs face being hurt, you never wanted to hurt him, but the inconsistency the two of you had become insufferable.Â
while what you and jude were doing made you feel alive, you wanted more. which scared him as his sole focus was football. it should've never happened, it was all a mistake, and you hated yourself now more because of it. for allowing yourself to get attached, to be consumed away by his words and kisses, for making you believe there was something more than stupid words on a sheet of paper.Â
you sat quietly on the carpet, the paintbrush in your hand stroking the white canvas, with different lines and shapes, colors and patterns as you painted. jude had his tongue slightly peeking, a look of concentration as he focused on perfecting every trace of color on his canvas.Â
âjude?â he replied with a hum, still focused on painting.Â
it was a topic you thought about every time you had sex, or shared an unexpected kiss. would this probably ruin things maybe⌠but it would mean you tried. you sighed and nervously chuckled, your thumbs running on the pads of your fingers as you took a deep breath an asked, âafter the contract ends, where do we go from here? us i meanâŚâÂ
his head slowly rose up⌠an eyebrow raised with a face of questioning. he didnât anticipate you asking this, taken at back and chuckled a bit. your smile fell, feeling embarrassed as you had the urge to scratch the tip of your brow in nervousness. He cleared his throat and took a sip of water, his eyes bored into yours.Â
âwell, we end of course⌠the contract ends so do we, no? we could still see each other, when we feel the need to you know, but i donât see why we would continue this? whatever you're trying to imply? remember this is just for public figures, for the two of us to benefit from it⌠its all an act. it's all fakeâŚâÂ
you felt as your heart was taken out of you, empty and felt lied to. all an act? all fake? you knew it was a pr stunt, but you thought maybe he would feel the same for you after sharing constant nights and kisses together. Was there anything inside that maybe felt the slightest bit for you? with a painful smile you responded.Â
âoh⌠right.â
âplease donât tell him jonah. not a single peep of what we spokeâŚâ you pleaded, wiping away a tear that let out. jonah opened his mouth to deject but closed it, understanding you needed time to process what was going on in your life. he licked his lips and closed the folder, standing up and buttoning his blazer, âplease don't make the mistake of leaving knowing there's more that needs to be said to him. youâll regret itâŚâ
âââââââââ
spottedcelebreity
liked by: 349,908, and others
spottedcelebrity: after recent rumors of the couple splitting up, it seems like jude and y/n are together. what is your opinion on them? live show is present at 9pm so stay tuned.
comments:
user34: i still think its a pr stunt... theres no way they've been together so long.
username3: he looks so good!!! y/n is a lucky woman to have jude as her bf.
user50: the flowers, he is so perfect.
username21: fuck jude, i want to see y/n? ik my queen ate with her fit!!
username589: i swear, how are they still together? they weren't posting at all like they used to?
âââââââââ
the limo ride was quiet, soft music playing in the background as you nervously bit the nail on your thumb. your leg bounced rapidly, your dark gown making flowy movements, attempting to distract yourself from the over 6ft tall man who sat beside you. before you could successfully terminate the contract, there was a club charity event downtown, which would be your last appearance together.Â
you wouldâve thought your ârelationshipâ ended that day at the restaurant, but jonah still needed the two of you to post content, even if it was a small glimpse because technically you still had those two months left. you didn't want to get sued or be treated worse, for his and your sake you agreed. a month and a half filled with quiet silence, unspoken feelings, and forced smiles.Â
you couldnât bring yourself to tell jude you loved him, that for you jude meant more than a stupid contract, but he obviously wasn't ready for that. that didn't stop him from talking to other girls and making you feel less without knowing. he never was ready for more with you, focused on other people and things, and you really wanted to avoid another heartbreak before moving. the idea of never being enough for him hurt you, because after so long you sacrificed what you had in life to be with him. your friends, your family, your privacy.Â
âi know we aren't on best terms but letâs keep it civil,â jude suddenly spoke up, making you nod carefully and look out at the window again. judeâs hand itched to interlock with yours, looking down to see you wearing the rings and bracelet he got for you adorned on your hand.Â
he fisted his hand and knocked it on his thigh gently, a million thoughts raced his head as to whether the club dinner would go to plan and no one suspecting a thing. he was nervous as lately there have been so many headlines saying you had broken up. jude wasnât stupid and he knew you were hiding something from him, he just didn't why you hid it from him.Â
even though you had been nervous, it didn't stop you from reaching over and grabbing his larger palm and conjoining them together with yours. this was his day today, and the good persona in you wanted to assure he wouldn't be a mess thanks to your situation and feelings. your thumb softly stroked his skin, making jude smile inside, as butterflies appeared in his chest.Â
âi know i don't say it enough, but thank you for everything you've done for me. the traveling, sacrifices, events, the fake smiles⌠everything we did together,â jude said knowing this would be his final chance to make things right. he could feel your hand loosen its grip, giving him big eyes as you heard him talk. âi am going to miss you⌠so much y/n.â
âme too jude,â you gave him a small smile, leaning up and pressing a faint kiss on his cheek to avoid leaving a print, but he wouldn't have cared either way, he loved when you did that. he wanted to relish every last second knowing it meant you'd never seen him again. he couldn't tell but you were a nervous wreck, you pushed your feelings aside once again to calm him, but deep down all you could feel was cold air and a pit in your stomach at his words. âi am going to miss you y/n⌠so muchâŚâ
you so badly wanted to run away in that moment, for allowing those words to mean more than they should. with a heavy heart and shaky hands you stepped out and walked out hand to hand inside the event center, jude glancing down every now and then to check in. your hand found home around his bicep, faking all the smiles and laughs when the media team asked both of you questions, complimenting him for his season so far, making sure to be the supportive girlfriend you have been so far.Â
you immediately downed the glass of champagne as soon as the waiter offered, fanning your face because the room became hot. you said your helloâs to other wags there, taking pictures and talked with them as the night passed. you stayed close to where jude was as you watched him talk with his teammates and coaching staff.Â
you checked your socials and immediately found yourself clicking on his story, a bereal picture taken of you when you were in the car when you had held his hand looking out and the small kiss print selfie of him. you giggled and hearted it, scrolling along some fan pictures and comments filled with relief as you two were still together.Â
âââââââââ
spottedcelebrity
liked by: 547,768, and others.
spottedcelebrity: y/n was seen wearing a glamorous dress, as she approached her boyfriend jude who waited outside their car with open arms. the couple seemed to have missed each other as their hug lasted a minute before sharing a quick kiss. what do we think about these two?
comments:
user39: same old same old.
username1: i think jude could do way better than her...
âŞď¸user45: no way? i honestly think with his lifestyle SHE could do better than someone who runs for a ball every day.
user23: she looks so beautiful, shes so gorgeous always! đ
username88: anyone hear the rumor about her moving away?đ
âŞď¸ username3: WHAT
âŞď¸ user43: me too! some wag gossip page posted it but we don't know if its true.
âŞď¸ user73: if she moves away that means they break up...
âŞď¸ spottedcelebrity: well that being said... stayed tuned for our 9pm live show...đ
user44: i'm so happy they're together! she's so supportive and such a good person to judge :(((
âââââââââ
even though the night was dedicated to him, you still had your fun. playing a game of poker and winning while sitting on judeâs lap and feeling him pepper kisses on your shoulder delicately, danced with the girls, and took picture with them at the booth. you clapped loudly as jude had been awarded a small trophy for the season, when he returned he kissed your lips softly, savouring the moment by leaving a last kiss on your forehead.Â
your hands slightly scratched the back of his neck as you slowed danced together, it was so late but no one wanted to leave. your feet ached but you could care less as you wanted to hold him like you were, to appreciate him for the last time. words didnât need to be said, the way you both held each other said enough.Â
the sudden rush of sadness hit you, feeling your hands come to a halt, and a desire to be honest. it wouldnât matter two weeks from now. two weeks from now youâd be living a different life than currently, attempting to forget every trace of jude. beginning a new chapter and living life to its fullest.Â
âi havenât been honest with you lately judeâŚâ
jude swallowed hard, grabbing the back of your head gently and pulling you to see your watery eyes and biting your lip. âtalk to me. say what you have to say. believe me, youâll be doing us both a favor by saying what you have to say. no matter how much it hurts or feels⌠put me out my misery. i need to know why you're doing this. to usâŚâ
his hand remained there, holding you in his place, with his jaw clenched, his soft glistening eyes begging you for answers. your chest flooded with warmth, âif i do say what's on my mind⌠iâm afraid iâll do the biggest mistake and regret⌠iâve tried in the past, and it always take a tollâŚâÂ
âiâm moving to germany,â you deadplanted. jude released a breath, stuck in place, he scowled and gave you an unsure side smile. âwhat do you mean moving to germany? what for? for how long?â he asked with a insisting tone, brows tucked in. he could handle a couple months top, but forever is something he couldnât do. it was becoming too late and your words were becoming his biggest nightmare become reality.Â
âjude, what is the most thing that scares you the most?â the interviewer asked. jude thought about the answer, tapping his bearded chin with his index finger, a taunting smile with playful eyes. you stifled a laugh, covering your mouth not wanting to seem disrespectful.Â
it was you. to lose you.Â
âprobably my girlfriend y/n. itâs my biggest fear yet, to think of anything happening or her not being with me? yeah thatâs what scares me the most,â he nodded as your mouth agape, you offered the camera a nervous smile. just when you assumed you couldnât be more in love, this was the tip of the iceberg.Â
âiâm moving for school, iâve been accepted to their program and their internship that can help me later on in my career... i genuinely didnât think iâd get accepted but i did, and iâm doing itâŚâ you told. jude shook his head in surprise, blinking rapidly to see if this was actually happening. jude was attempting to comprehend, how you couldâve kept this secret so long away from him.Â
everything was making sense to him. the random cancelations, when you didnât text back, when you abruptly left the next morning after having sex, no more âgood morningâ or âgoodnightâ texts, how you dodged his kisses even when it was the two of you alone. he saw all the signs but ignored them. it was his fault. for not being able to see how things were being portrayed.Â
jude grabbed your hand, leading you out to a private hall in the venue, and then outside to a white balcony. you tried to keep up, but with your heels and urgency to run it became difficult. some of his teammates and wives gave you suspicious looks, making you give them a reassuring smile and mouth a âweâll be right back.â
jude paced back and forth on the concrete, clearly stressing, you sat on the small bench by the door. âyou were just gonna get up and leave? just like that? without saying anything to me?â he asked his voice cracking, walking over to you. âi mean you wouldnât care? you said so yourself that day, that when the contract ends we end,â you quoted his words.Â
jude felt guilty because he remembered he had said that. he could still see the painful smile on your face when he said those words. âi donât get you jude. one day you want me, the next day you donât? why would it matter to you if i left? all youâve made me feel is like a shitty person. you use me one day, give me hope something could happen between us just for you to push me away. yeah, i sure do matter to you,â you sassed.Â
âit does matter to me. you matter to me. do you think i wouldn't feel anything for you after this year and a half?âÂ
âwell, i donât know jude. what do you think? iâve constantly shared what i feel when iâm around you, and you donât even bother, so why should i? it hurts me, i feel embarrassed at the amount of times i tried, but it will never be enough for you. weâre in this pr mess because of you!â you yelled out. it wasnât right to blame him, for everything including the pr, you just couldn't hold back on the anger you felt. after holding it for so long.Â
âiâm sorry but you agreed to it remember? you had your reasons i had mine,â jude retorted. âthis is why. this is what i was afraid of. the constant arguing, not being able to make time for each other, the trust issues. iâm scared of losing you even if it is due to the smallest thing. i hate thinking of you not being in my life because it hurts me. to lose you would hurt me.â
âyouâre just saying that..â
âiâm not just saying that. itâs how i feel about us and for you. my whole life has been dedicated to football and quite frankly i donât know if iâm enough for you. i donât know how to do all this⌠i donât have the experience, though it feels right being with you. with or without the contract. i hope you know what iâm getting to⌠youâre more than enough y/n.âÂ
something inside you want to not to believe him that it would be one of those moments again. but the way he sat here begging with his eyes for you not to go made you understand there was more to what he was saying. âall those times i pushed you away i thought i was doing whatâs best but turns out it was the opposite. iâm tired of that, i just want to start fresh. i wonât hold you back from your dream, but please, try to understand me, â jude pleaded.Â
âi do understand you jude, it's just troubling to find a solution to this after the amount of times we pushed each other away,â you said with your voice cracking. âi just wanna be yoursâŚâ you confess tears sliding down your cheeks, unable to get rid of the pain and chill feeling you experienced.Â
âyou are mine baby⌠from the moment you walked into that office, when we signed those papers, after our date in the tulip fields, youâve always been. i was just a coward to continue letting my overthinking get in the way of our love,â he pulled you onto his lap, stroking your hair back, âplease donât leave me here alone⌠i love you y/n.â
âyou love me?â you stuttered tears no longer coming out watching jude with wide eyes to see if you heard properly. your heart hammered in your chest, jude felt like he could hear his own pulse beat rapidly, he was finally expressing how he felt and there was no holding back. he wanted to make sure you knew how he felt, that you were on the same page as him.Â
âhow could i not? you changed my soul from a dark place to where now i picture us in that field of tulips. the moment i met you i knew you were special, everything about you captivated me, your smile, laugh, eyes, your kindness. i know iâm not big on communication, but it feels like a relief to finally say this,â jude kisses your wrist thumb tracing over your knuckles as he continues. âi love you, and to have someone who loves me like you do, is so gratefulâŚâÂ
âletâs get out of here judeâŚâ
the bedroom door to his room opened quickly, jude placing you on the floor before going over and shutting it. he strides over again, grabbing your face not caring about your makeup, and leans down to capture your lips with his. your hands settled locked on his wrist, allowing your body to rest at his mercy.Â
âit scared me to think you would go away and be alone. where i canât protect you or hold you like this when i please,â jude whispers, leaning his forehead against yours. âdonât ever do that to me again. i canât afford to lose you baby, ever,â jude confessed tucking a stand of hair back, closing his eyes and allowing the moment to pass. Â
âi promise i wonât jude. you have my word.âÂ
jude placed soft kisses all over your collarbone, his beard tickling you as his hand moved down your spine to slowly unzip your gown. your head felt cloudy as his eyes stared at the black lacy set of lingerie, roaming over every beauty mark and parts he wanted to see uncovered. âto think you were walking around with this underneath without me knowingâŚâ jude tsked.Â
jude kisses a small mole by your boob âevery inch,â then down to a faint scar on your shoulder âof youâŚâ, he ran his tongue along your skin, making you lose balance and squeeze your legs together, âis perfect. so perfect and beautiful.âÂ
âjudeâŚâ you said shakily, he hummed, his hands gripping your waist and bringing you to him. âdonât get shy with me baby⌠iâve seen you like this many times. this feels different because weâve now said i love you to each otherâŚâ jude kisses your lips fervently, groaning at your sweet taste once again.Â
âdo you have any idea how crazy you make me feel?â jude asked, ending the question with a âhmmâ. âhow long i waited to hear you say those words? how you consume my everyday thoughtsâŚâ jude groaned, and squeezed your ass making you grip his biceps tightly. âi want to make you all mine. not on a sheet of paper, here tonightâŚâÂ
âthen what are we waiting for jude? i'm hereâŚâ you say breathlessly, âiâm all yours with or without that stupid contract.âÂ
the kiss was different from the one he gave you in the hall an hour ago. this kiss was filled with urgency and neediness, yet also with undeniying love. he felt you crumble for him, your hand on his cheek not wanting for him to pull away. he couldnât pull away, addicted to how you tasted, how your lips bit his bottom one and watched it pull back.Â
he walked you over to the bed, your legs spreading for him as your back hit the silk sheets. your back arched at the cold feeling and sensation, pulling away from the kiss and let out a small whine. jude kisses your jaw and knee, standing up with his lips slightly swollen and tainted with your lipstick, gulping at the sight of your body.Â
he made sure you were watching, your eyes stuck on his big hands slowly remove his suit jacket. his fingers slowly unbuttoning the white shirt, revealing his bare torso, abs and happy trail that you wanted to touch. he swallowed a breath, looking at the way you thighs suddenly clenched closed as he removed his belt and dress pants.Â
your chest raised up and down, your propped arms now itching to be closer to jude as he got on the bed with you. âcan i touch you jude?â your voice low, judeâs eyes going wide before nodding. you crawled over to him, where he layed on his back just with his black calvins and his prominent big bulge. you bit the inside of your cheek, filling the empty spot where you would cuddle his right side.Â
you kissed his lips teasingly, hearing a small groan escape his throat, trailing down to his neck sucking the spot beneath his pulse, down to his chest which rapidly began to rise at your actions. âis there anything you want me to do?â you ask shyly sitting up, feeling intimidated by his brown eyes that were darker than usual. âtake this off for meâŚâ at his deeper voice he helped you unclip the lace bra, groaning at the soft flesh of your boobs, erect nipples reaching his view.
âyou have the most perfect body y/nâŚâÂ
your hand slowly traced down his happy trail, nails raking, observing the way his abs sucked in struggling to calm down. ârelax judeâŚâ you said tauntingly with a smirk, jude closed his eyes in desire as he felt your hand reach inside his boxers. he shivered feeling your erect nipples touch against the warm skin on his side, now fully hard as you tucked him out his boxers.Â
you slowly stroked his shaft, hand barely being able to wrap around his complete girth. your thumb circled the tip, pre-cum oozing and adding a layer of lube. he felt hard and heavy against your palm, kissing his neck to add to the satisfaction he was feeling. his right hand squeezed your ass cheek, as his left palm clenched the sheets beneath him.Â
the way you slowly yet squeezed him, was adding fire to the pit of his stomach. he couldnât focus on anything, rolling his eyes back everytime you squeezed him or gave him doe eyes. âfuckkk y/n⌠youâre making me feel so good baby⌠keep doing that⌠just like thatâŚâ jude moaned, squeezing your ass cheek again moving around.Â
you continued the rhythm, feeling your arousal spreading as you heard and felt the way you made him feel. his groans, the way his adamâs apple bobbed, his low dazy eyes watching your small hand stroke him. he was so close, you increase his high by beginning to stroke faster, âlike this jude?â you asked knowing the answer. âjust like that⌠oh shit⌠shit iâm so close y/n. you're gonna make me cumâŚâ you kissed him, hiding the loud moans he released as he shook around almost trembling.Â
you giggled hearing him chuckle deeply. âlook at the mess i made because of youâŚâ you hid in the crook of his neck feeling almost too shy and embarrassed to face him. you cleaned your hand with the rag, looking at jude when you licked a small stripe off your finger, jude immediately grabbed your hips and turned you over.Â
he removed the lacy thong, bringing you down to where your sex met where he tucked himself back into the boxers still hard even after cumming. the black tie he wore was placed by the night desk. he knelt down, your pussy glistening and begging to be touched, eaten. he took his arm and tugged you closer, watching the way you anxiously waited for him to do something.Â
you felt his tongue slowly lick from your entrance to your clit, arching your back in pleasure, a hand coming to play with your boob as you felt him dig in deeper. he knew exactly how you liked it, the places, the movements, he was enamored with how delicate and sensitive you were. âno⌠please judeâŚâ you whined, looking down to see him smirking when he stopped his movements.Â
âpatience baby⌠relax for me y/nâŚâ he kissed both your hip bones, the skin at the bottom of your belly button and down to your inner thighs, he was teasing you, drawing out your long-awaited orgasm as much as possible. âthatâs not fair jude. i gave what you wanted, what you asked forâŚâ you say out of breath.Â
he placed a messy kiss on your clit, the bundle of nerves then sucked between his lips as he pulled away again. you moved around the bed, finding it hard to stay still as he continued to devour you, moaning and biting your lip. âif you keep moving around i won't let you cumâŚâ he mocked, watching you rapidly shake your head no.Â
âthen do something about itâŚâ you sassed back. he raised his brow, coming back up from between your legs, glancing to the black tie that was placed on the stand. âyou would like that no? for me to tie you up?â he taunted, leaning over to grab the slim material. he asked you first and you agreed giving him your wrists, feeling as he tied them on the headboard.Â
he returned to his original spot, his large hands smoothing your sides as you struggled to pull away. he gave you a messy kiss yearning for more, jude circled his tongue on your nipple sucking the bead as you arched your back, his tongue traced all the way down to your clit, where you let out a raw moan.Â
he held you down on your hips, feeling as his tongue entered you, he was being messy, being able to hear the heavy breathing and slurping he did as jude continued eating you. the familiar heat in your stomach returned, if he kept up with this, you would be on the edge of releasing. âiâm s-s-so close jude⌠please donât stopâŚâ you sobbed, pulling your hands from the hold on the headboard.
the intrusion of his two fingers had you shivering in pleasure, moaning his name loudly. you tugged on the fabric, jude pumping in and out as he took control again. He licked your clit teasingly, going up and down and side to side. âoh my god,â you moaned in relief as your orgasm hit you, your face tucking to your arm as your legs shook, jude still pumping and licking.Â
he propped back up, sucking the juices from his fingers, watching how your chest rose heavily trying to calm down from your high. jude undid the tie, leaving one wrist still wrapped with it, he kissed you sweetly hearing a hum of delight from you, âdoing so good for me y/n⌠turn to your side for me,â he asked and you obliged.Â
you laid on your side, giving jude your free wrist back to him where he tied them back up securely. you heard him move around the room, guessing he was probably fully undressing himself. he returned back, hovering over you as his tip poked your coated walls⌠you bit your lip in anticipation.Â
jude entered you, let out a small gasp from your lips as your nails dug into your palms feeling him thrust deeper into you. you could feel all of him, how hard he was, how desperate he was, how big he was, he fully stretched you out and you loved the feeling. you couldnât hold back the whines and whimpers you let out, the position you were in allowed you to feel everything, as he continued to thrust into you.Â
ânot so soon y/nâŚâ he pulled back, he could feel your walls clamp down on him, squeezing the life out knowing you were approaching your second orgasm. âno! no, not again please judeâŚâ you pleaded for him to make you cum, he gently placed you on your back, hands tied behind you now. he spread your legs open, leaning down as he thrusts into you again, your head going to the side moaning, âjude, you feel so big⌠so goodâŚâ
âoh shit, shit shitâŚâ jude grunted, kissing your neck and leaving a small suckle behind, his hands wanting to give up and crash his body on top of you. the way he was manhandling you had you close to seeing stars and cloud nine. his thrusts came to a halt, grabbing you gently to pull you up and into his chest. he undid the complete tie, your hands finding home around his neck.Â
jude extended his legs, not caring if he was on the opposite side of the bed. the pillows were on the floor, the sheets scrambled all over, and clothes scattered all over the room. âi didn't hurt you did i?â he gently grabbed your wrists, placing soft kisses on them, âno jude.. you didnât.â
your legs digged into the sheets, a hand on his shoulder as the other one brought his face to yours, leaving no space between as you kissed him. his tongue entered your mouth, being able to still taste the champagne and sweet taint on you. he leaned his forehead on yours, grabbing your hips, âi love you.â
your chest warmed again hearing him confess his underlying love for you, âand i love you.â
you reached between the space, bringing his cock to your entrance feeling him stretch you out again as you sat on him completely. you lifted your hips up and then brought them back down, âshit baby⌠you feel so tight like this,â jude groaned grabbing and pulling you closer as you balanced yourself by holding his broad shoulders.Â
âJudeâŚâ you murmured throwing your head back in pleasure struggling almost to take him as a whole, feeling the way he kissed your boob and squeezed it with his hand. you were chasing that second orgasm for the two of you, rocking your hips up and down and back and forth, like an expert of course.Â
your nails raked down his back and chest, as you felt get closer and closer, jude following behind. you cry out in pleasure, jude gripping your ass as you continued to bounce on him. it was a sight for him, to watch you like he was, to see your angelic face, eyes closed, brows pulled in and lips were still swollen from the makeout session before. âsuch a good girl for me,â jude praised.Â
jude felt so lucky, so lucky he helped you move against his cock, wanting to feel your walls clench even tighter as you reached your orgasm, not being able to get enough of you. âiâm gonna cum y/nâŚâ jude warned gripping your waist and feeling the haze inside him beginning to spread around as you whimpered, tears stroking your cheeks.Â
âoh fuck, jude iâm cum-â you couldn't finish your sentence as your wave of orgasm spread through your whole body. jude cummed inside you, the ropes of his cum feeling hot as they spread all over your walls, down to his shaft. your ears ringed, head tucked into his neck as you caught your breath. his breathing matched yours, unable to shake off the lingering post-orgasm.Â
with your closed eyes, jude brought your lips to his, kissing them gently making you smile at the softness from him. jude never left you unattended, he always made sure you were left clean and comfortable, after-sex cuddles were his favorite, and right now that's all he craved for.Â
âthank you jude,â you say, not only thanking him for this but also for being the person you dreamed of being with. despite what you had gone through with him, that didn't matter as a new chapter of your life would start here, forgetting every past detail to move forward. jude couldn't stop kissing anywhere, your neck, cheeks, tip of nose, jaw, and shoulders, he wanted you to feel loved. loved by him. only him.Â
ânever ever leave my side okay? i need you here with me at all times⌠my girl, my only girl only, y/n.â
âââââââââ
spottedcelebrity
liked by: 1,090,222, and others.
spottedcelebrity: steamy kiss shared with our favorite couple just right outside by his dinner! seems like this two couldn't wait to get the party started đđ
comments:
user2: OH?
username29: CHAT IS THIS REAL?
username194: the way he grabs her, oh lord end me now.
user3984: this will be the reason of my death.
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Chapter 63 of human Bill Cipher trying to debate his way out of still being the Mystery Shack's prisoner. Soos has found the stolen Journal 4 in Bill's possession and has to decide what to do about it in light of everything else he's learned about Bill lately.
[*you may notice chapter 61 is missing! This plot was done sooner, so I'll be posting chapter 61 sometime after 64. It's not chronological so you're not missing anything!]
Soos stared dumbfounded at the journal with a 4 on the cover that he'd pulled from Bill's hiding place. Ford had lost Journal 4 last fallâhe'd said gnomes had stolen it. How in the world had Bill gotten it?
Soos sat in the attic window seat and flipped through it. The first few pages were Ford's journal entriesâhis observations of the dimensional rips they were glueing shut in Gravity Falls post-Weirdmageddon, a hand-drawn map highlighting various places around the globe he wanted to investigate, a few drawings and observations of paranormal beings he hadn't seen his first time in town, half a sketch of a gnome that ended with a jagged scribble across the page followed by a page that said "Shmebulock" over and over.
And then a page that said, in an unfamiliar handwriting of jagged, narrow gray letters: "CURSED BOOK! If your name is Mabon Mason Pines, STOP READING NOW or ENJOY YOUR HEX!"
Bill had written page after page of some weird code of gray and yellow-green dots and dashes. A few sentences in Englishâevery one of them was a threatening message to Ford. "Everything would have been fantastic if you'd just helped me finish, Fordsy." "You'll regret not siding with me when you had the chance." "You should have known better than to let your idiot brother turn you against me." "Sixer, you're lying to yourself every time you say you never worshiped me, and you know it. You spent the first third of your life running away from the god you were raised with and the second third chasing after me. Don't waste your last third denying it. YOU'RE MINE." A small, worrying diagram of what looked like the interdimensional portal. And a sticker.
Wait, hold on.
A sticker. One of Mabel's. The rest of the page was the same as the others, the two-tone dots and dashes, except for the sticker, and an arrow drawn from one paragraph to the sticker.
A yellow smiley, its round edges filled in with black marker to make a triangle, over the words "Good job!"
Soos stared at the sticker.
####
A couple of weeks ago, Melody had texted to let Soos know that there was a mess in the upstairs bathroom, and the kids said they'd been fighting a werewolf ghost.
When Soos had gotten home the next morning, Melody had pulled him aside and quietly told him she hadn't wanted to worry him and the Stans, but she did not think it was a werewolf ghost.
When Soos saw the bathroom, he didn't think it was a werewolf ghost either.
It was a scene from a horror movie. Menacing magical sigils painted all over the walls in blood and toothpaste, Bill's zodiac painted on one mirror, the other mirror broken, glass and water all over the floor. It looked like the site of a really wet demon summoning. This contained none of the hallmarks of ghostly or werewolfish activity. Why would Bill do this?
Soos was kind of reluctant to ask Bill. Bill still sorta scared him sometimes. Sure, he looked like a lost 18-year-old, but Soos knew what teens were like in a fight. So he asked Mabel instead.
Mabel pursed her lips uncomfortably. "Ask Dipper."
So Soos asked Dipper.
Dipper winced and. "Promise you won't get mad."
Soos considered that. "Yeah, I guess that's a fair deal."
Dipper confessed that Bill got accidentally locked in the upstairs bathroom for like a whole day, because he and Mabel didn't hear him yelling. Not because they were out of the house when they shouldn't have been. They were just... somewhere else in the house. Doing something loud. For the whole day.
While Bill was trapped alone.
####
Soos had vented to Abuelita about cleaning the bathroom. Like sure, he got Bill was annoyed about being stuck, but that seemed excessive.
Abuelita had made the observation that sometimes people in profoundly bleak and oppressive situations would just... destroy whatever was around them. Like punching a hole in the wall or snapping a pencil when you were angry, but much more so. Not because they wanted their surroundings to be destroyed, but because that was the last and only thing they had power over, and they needed to feel like they were in control of something. Even if that thing was merely changing their environment from ordered to chaotic.
Bill didn't have control over very much. He probably hadn't since he died. Soos didn't know what kind of space triangle afterlife Bill had been in before he showed up as Toga Lady, but it couldn't have been great if he'd come straight back here.
Soos could remember the one time weeks ago he'd let Bill into the bathroom to shower and forgotten to come back and let him out. How Bill had screamed so all the Mystery Shack's tourists could hear; how he'd seethed in Soos's face, how he'd said he'd rather blow their collective cover and throw them all on the mercy of the town's law enforcement than remain locked in the bathroom a second longer than they'd agreed upon. Soos had thought Bill was just impatient and hotheaded.
Standing in the bathroom, looking at the material evidence of Bill's claustrophobic terrorâthe broken glass, the spilled bloodâhe wondered.
####
The same day, he had felt a breeze in the gift shop and found the trap doors to the roof left open. He'd climbed up, shut them, and in between tours he'd visited his office to check yesterday's security tapes.Â
He saw Wendy coming into the shack to hang out the morning before. That was fine. Soos had discovered she did that from time to time on days the shack was closed, but she wasn't doing anything bad and she hadn't brought it up yet, so Soos didn't bring it up either. Maybe she just needed a private place to hang. Teen stuff. He was just glad Wendy felt that safe at the Mystery Shack. Maybe she'd just gone up to hang out on the roof and forgot to shut the trap doors...
And then, right there on screen, Soos saw Bill letting himself into the gift shop, through the door, which he shouldn't be able to open. A chill shot up Soos's back. The door curse was their only real means of containing Bill. If he could use doors now, he was out, there was no way they could trap him without doing something crazy like locking him in the bunker and hoping he didn't kill himself.
Or could he use doors? Soos thought back to the frantic messages on the bathroom wall, written in Bill's own bloodâhis desperation over being unable to escape. Maybe he could use doors but not doorknobs. That was okay, maybe?
On tape, he saw Wendy run into Bill. He saw Wendy take Bill onto the roof. Out in the open air, where he could just... do whatever. But he didn't do whatever. Soos fast-forwarded the tape until Wendy and Bill came back down, and Bill simply returned to the living room.
He'd had the perfect opportunity to shove Wendy off the roof or escape. He didn't take it.
If all Bill was using his new door skills for was ducking into the gift shop and hanging out on the roof with Wendy, Soos thought maybe it would be kinda mean to take that away from him. There weren't a lot of other places Bill could go in the shack. (Soos kept seeing the blood on the bathroom wall. He kept trying to imagine what kind of helplessness would drive someone that far.) Maybe Bill needed the open air.
So Soos had put the security tape on his desk, not sure what to do about it.
####
A couple of day after that, while Soos was restocking the gift shop in between waves of tourists, he'd seen Wendy reading an oddly dull-looking booklet instead of one of her usual magazines. He tilted his head to glance at the cover. The Oregon state driving manual. "Aw dude, gonna get your learner's permit?"
"Think so," Wendy said. "Don't tell my dad."
Soos remembered Wendy groaning about her dad wrangling her into doing errands if she ever got her license. "Your secret is safe with me."
"Thanks."
"What made you change your mind? You were totally against getting a license a week ago."
"It's probably those stupid Gleeful Auto commercials that have been worming into my dreams." Wendy laughed. "I'm just waking up in the morning like, neeeed caaar."
"Oh yeah! Heh, funny coincidence, Melody says she had a dream like that too. Sometimes she gets these like, dreams about monsters watching her in bed? But one time, the monster was Bud Gleeful, whispering in her ear about a big car sale. She totally woke up laughing!"
"Ha! Annoying car commercials should be banned, man. Why do we need to be told multiple times a day to spend thousands of dollars?"
"You make a salient point."
They fell silent for a moment as Wendy read a couple more paragraphs. Then she said, "That, plus... I was talking to Goldie the other day."
Soos looked up from the t-shirt he'd been putting on a clothes hanger. "Oh. Yeah?"
"About where we wanna go when we get out of town."
"Huh." Very casually, Soos asked, "What did Goldie say?"
"He wants to go on some big vacation. Like a world cruise or something, I dunno."
"Huh." Soos wondered if that was true. He tried to imagine Bill Cipher as a tourist. Floating triangle in a Hawaiian shirt with a camera hanging from a strap and a fanny pack. What kind of places would he even visit? Soos bet he wanted to visit the pyramids. Heh. (Was that stereotyping? Maybe that was stereotyping.)
"And I told him I'm moving to Portland for college."
"Oh, hey, I didn't know you were thinking about college."
"I... actually, never told anybody else before," Wendy said. "I've been thinking about it for years, but part of me felt like it's just a fantasy? But Goldie said when he got out of high school, he did the same thingâmoved to another town, made a new group of friends, all that. And... I don't know, actually talking to him out loud about it just... made it feel real, you know? So I thought, if I'm gonna move to Portland, I should probably start planning for it. Starting with how I'm getting there." She held up the driving manual.
Soos nodded slowly. "Huh. Yeah. That's a pretty mature way to look at it."
And that was what Bill was talking to Wendy about on the roof? Just... listening to a teen vent and helping her figure out her future?
And so, Soos took the security tape off his desk and put it in a drawer.
####
A few days later, Soos had heard the downstairs bathroom sink running for several minutes, assumed someone had forgotten to turn it off, and went to turn it off himselfâand had caught Bill, in the dark, half undressed, washing himself in the sink.
After Soos had backed out and profusely apologized, he'd asked, "Butâhow come you're washing in the sink? I can let you in the upstairs bathroom if you needâ"
"Worry about your own grooming habits and leave mine alone," Bill snapped. "As long as I don't smell, what do you humans care how I do it. Soap is soap and water is water."
It took Soos several days to realize he didn't think Bill had had a shower since he got locked in the bathroom. And nobody had noticed, because Bill made sure nobody noticed, because he'd been keeping himself clean in the bathroom he couldn't get locked in.
####
Dipper would go all summer without showering if he could get away with it; Stan showered like once a week and had constant old man smell; Abuelita also showered weekly and had a more refined old lady smell; Soos didn't know when Ford showered, but he'd never caught him doing it and Ford always smelled weirdly like burned hair. Soos showered almost daily during tourist seasonâthat Mr. Mystery suit was hotâbut outside that might go three days at a time. Mabel showered near daily.
From what Soos had observed, Bill was showering like, at least twice a week. He didn't know how often Bill cleaned himself in the sink in between.
That meant he was showering more often than two-thirds of the house.
Yet he was the only one in the house living under the threat of being thrown in the tub at 3 a.m. if someone decided he hadn't bathed enough for their tastes.
The reason Bill had refused to shower during his first week of imprisonment was so he could use the condition of his body as a bargaining chipâwith no physical possessions in the world, his own body was the only bargaining chip he hadâto try to buy a little more dignity. In return, his captors had taken more dignity away. They permitted Bill less autonomy over how to take care of his body than the household's children had.
Dipper had never gotten forced into a bathroom he couldn't let himself out of.
####
The day after the eclipse, Ford had pulled Soos aside and said quietly, "Soos, as soon as you have some timeâcould you repair the door to the kids' room? Before the end of the day? The latch has been broken since the tooth fairy's attack."
"Uh, sure, I can probably do that," Soos said. "How come?" The latch had been broken for a couple weeks, and the Pines hadn't been worried about it before.
"Right now, the door can swing freely with just a push," Ford said. "I think Bill's figured out how to use that to get in. Which is worrisome, since he shouldn't be able to use any doors..."
"O-oh." Soos thought about the swinging door into the gift shop. "Yeah, uh... sounds bad. Byyy the wayâhow'd you figure out he knows how to use the door?"
"Dipper says Bill somehow got in and out of the room last night," Ford said. "Mabel fell asleep in the living room and Bill carried her upstairs. I really don't like the thought of Bill being able to get his hands on the kids while they're asleep and defenseless."
Ford was mad at Bill for tucking a kid into bed? That was the big red flag? "No problem! I'll fix the door right after work."
The next time Soos visited his office, he took the security tape out of his drawer, rewound it, stuck it back into the tape recorder, and let that day's security camera footage overwrite and erase the evidence of Bill's visit to the gift shop.
####
And now, today, carrying Journal 4 in both hands, Soos trudged downstairs, trying to figure out what to do with it. He had to return it to Ford, obviouslyâbut Bill and the Stans were already in the middle of a discussion that sounded a lot more like an argument. Flinging a stolen journal into the middle of the proceedings would just make it worse. Maybe he should wait until they were finished and everyone had cooled down a littleâ?
While Soos was upstairs, the discussion had apparently moved into the kitchen. He hovered awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, watching.
"What do you mean, you need kitchen access," Stan was asking, "you already have kitchen access. It's never been off-limits! Even after you peed in the sink!"
"It's not kitchen access if I need to ask someone else for permission to eat anything but snacks."Â
"No one's making you ask for permission! You can take what you want!"
"Okay, fine. So what can I eat?" Bill gestures at the shelves. "Go on. List anything you can think of. Anything."
Stan grimaced, and glanced at Ford to see if he was willing to walk into the obvious trap first.
Ford looked at the nearby shelves. "Cereal."
"One point for Stanford Pines! Cereal! So am I supposed to eat dry cereal for every single meal, orâ?"
"No, of course not."
"All right, then what else?"
"Brown meat," Stan said. "We've got plenty of brown meat. It's good for you!"
"You didn't give me can opener rights," Bill said.
"Huh."
"So no brown meat," Bill said. "No canned soup, no canned chili, no canned fruit, no canned vegetablesâ"
Ford cut in, "Some of the cans have pull tabs, you don't need a can opener for those."
"Terrific observation! As soon as you realized I could open those cans myself, you moved them all under the counter because you thought I'd use the sharp edges as weapons!"
"It's... possible to open cans without a can opener, I did it sometimes while roughing it in other dimensionsâ"
"Yeah, wearing off the metal rim with a rock, right? Lemme just go outside and grab a rockâoh wait." Bill crossed his arms.
Ford sighed, and turned to Stan to suggest something else.
Stan surveyed the available supplies, spotted the bread, and said, "You could make sandwiches!"
"With what filling?"
"Uh..." Stan kept looking.
Meats and cheeses, of course, were kept in the fridge. Along with jelly, condiments, most vegetables... tuna or spam weren't options, they were canned... "Hey, we leave out some meats that don't need refrigeration. Sausages and stuff."
"Right, right. The ones that don't need refrigeration because they're wrapped in plastic you need a knife to cut," Bill said. "Sometimes I bite the plastic open with my teeth and rip off chunks of sausage with my fingernails, that's always fun! Then you put the leftovers in the fridge, and I'm out of luck until we buy another sausage."
"You could put... peanut butter on your sandwiches?" Ford tried. "Peanut butter's nutritious."
Bill fixed him with a hard look. "For the past five weeks, every time I've gotten a meal without asking someone else to help feed me like a baby, I've had nothing but peanut butter and banana sandwiches, peanut butter and jerky sandwiches, peanut butter and raisin sandwiches, and peanut butter and potato chip sandwiches. And we're out of bananas, jerky, and raisins." He pointed at the tortillas. "Once I decided to get creative and made myself a cold peanut butter quesadilla! I can't even add spices, because guess where the breakable glass spice jars are kept?"
"Pasta," Ford tried. "We could keep the pasta out."
"Oh, wow, that'd be great! I just love pasta! But I can't open the microwave and I can't turn on the stove! How do I heat the water, Stanford?"
Ford frowned. "Hm."
"I can cook, you knowânot that any of you bothered to ask! It might not suit your tastes, but it suits mine! I wouldn't need your help to eat if you didn't make me need help! I am sick to deathâ" his voice went thick and took on an uncharacteristic waver, "âof having to beg to... eat." He cleared his throat, squeezed his eyes shut, and rubbed his eyelids with one hand. "Sh-shouldn't evenâneed to eat." He clenched his jaw to keep it from trembling.
Stan and Ford exchanged a guilty look. Stan said, "You don't have to begâ I mean, we know the, uh... position you're in..."
Bill was silent for a moment as he tried to get a tough face back on. His voice came out as a rough whisperâtoo thick to get any louder without breaking. "I had to negotiate to get burnt eggs."
Ford winced.
Soos was dumbfounded.
When had Bill had to negotiate for food? He could all too easily understand how it might have happenedâBill was an annoying guy, sometimes they had to pull out dumb bargains to get him to do stuff. But bargaining for food should never be on that list. Meeting Bill's basic nutritional needs couldn't be dependent on whether he was annoying that day. If it was, he'd starve.
It sounded like he was starving. Right under Soos's roof. He hadn't even noticed.
He thought about the piles of junk food trash upstairs and the bag of chips Bill had hurled across the room.
Ford said, "We'll... discuss it."
"We'll figure something out," Stan said. "I mean it."
Bill nodded silently. Head down, without uncovering his eyes, he hurried out of the kitchen and toward the stairs.
He nearly bumped into Soos's chest without noticing him. Soos backed up a step, tucking Journal 4 under his arm. "Whoa, hey!"
Bill froze, head jerking up. "You."Â His voice was thick and his glare was watery and poisonous. "Don't you have anything better to do than eavesdrop?" He tried to elbow past Soos, smacking his leg with his umbrella. "Move."
Soos realized uneasily that Bill's face looked a little slimmer than it had when he'd arrived.
He stepped in Bill's way. "Can't go upstairs right now. Attic's being cleaned."
"I didn't ask you to clean!"
"I'm not cleaning for you, dawg. It's just gotta be cleaned."
"Fine! Whatever!" Bill veered around the staircase and stomped down the hall, muttering, "Can't decide when I eat, can't decide when I shower, why should I get to choose when my hovel's swept..."
Soos's leg hurt where Bill had smacked it. (Bill couldn't even control whether or not he cried; all he had control over was making someone else hurt.)
In the kitchen, Stan murmured, "Didn't even realize we don't keep anything decent out on the counters. They're so crowded..."
"Chip bags take up a lot of space." Ford sighed. "I assumed he'd get a serving with everyone else whenever Mrs. Ramirez cooks."
"He does, but she only does dinners. And he'll only eat it if he watched her cook it. I've seen him get lunch with Mabel, but I don't know what he does when she's not..." Stan spotted Soos on the stairs. He tiredly called, "Soos? You need something?"
"Uhhh..." Soos hid the journal behind his back. "Nope! I just thought I'd come downstairs! For no reason." He awkwardly walked up the stairs backwards, journal still tucked behind him. "Andâand now I'm going up again." He stopped at the landing and scooted sideways up the next flight of stairs. "See ya."
He pressed the journal to his chest and returned to the attic.
####
When Soos and Abuelita moved into the shack, the first thing Soos had done was turn Ford's ground-floor study into a bedroom for Abuelita. Because she was a little old lady, and not quite as steady as she used to be, so Soos didn't want her constantly going up and down the stairsâbecause falling once, just ONCE, could send her to the hospital or worse. That was how serious it was! You don't mess around with that!
Bill tripped and fell on the stairs so often that they could use it to tell when he was awake. And nobody had thought to offer him a cane? Did anybody even ask if he was alright?
When Bill first arrived and tried to murder everyone, naturally, he came out of it pretty banged up and bruised. That was to be expected. It was self-defense. They'd gotten used to seeing Bill with scrapes on his arms and legs, rope burns around his ankles, and the angry purple-black bruises of chain links over his arms. But in all the weeks since then, Soos hadn't seen Bill bruise-free once. Bruises on his shins and arms, scrapes on his elbows and knees. Soos had seen him with a four-inch burn on his forearm. Bill had brushed it off.
In Bill's first few days in the shack, he'd resorted to peeing in the kitchen sink because nobody had bothered to give a guy who couldn't open doors a way to use the bathroom. And they were the reason he couldn't open doors in the first place!
He threw up in the living room in the middle of the night and went upstairs to sleep on couch cushions on the floor and nobody had talked about it.
He burned off all his hair and was so upset about it that he stole Soos's zodiac blanket and hid under it for half a week, and everyone but Mabel just ignored him.
In less than a month in the Mystery Shack, Bill had lost a tooth.
He had been dragged out of the house during a weird weather phenomenon while terrified out of his mind. Soos had seen Bill cowering on the ground in fear, Ford looming over him, grabbing him by the collar and snarling in rage. Bill had been pleading with everyone in hearing range not to make him go, and had come back in such a state of shock he could hardly walk.Â
And yet, he'd protected the whole town from getting hurt in zero gravityâand he'd brought a pet for Soos.
They'd tried to execute Bill two days later.
####
Soos sat in the window seat, flipping through the remaining filled-in pages in Journal 4. The last few pages were packed with stickers. A cat that said PURRFECT! A smiling fish that said A REEL PAL! Bill had started a little collection of pizza slice stickers for some reason. A couple of holographic rainbows, a smiling scratch-and-sniff sun. (Apparently, the sun smelled like lemons and oranges. Astronomy facts!)
Soos reached the current page. Bill was using several pieces of paperâregular printer paper and notebook paper, folded in halfâlike a bookmark. Soos unfolded them. A list of animals ranked by fuzziness. (Soos was satisfied that he'd been placed under the "smooth and squishy" category, but wondered whether he should be bothered by the fact that he shared the category with pigs and slugs.) A drawing of Bill riding a looping rocket ship and waving a fishbowl helmet above him. A drawing of a blue house with a couple of kids and a pig in the window. Several drawings of shape people kinda like Bill: a pink heart person labeled "Me in Flatworld,"Â a stern-looking red stop sign wearing sunglasses labeled "Bill's parole officer," Bill dancing, the pink heart protecting Bill from some villainous-looking shapesâall clearly Mabel's art.
Several notebook pages in someone else's handwriting detailing names, addresses, and contact information, with statements Soos couldn't make sense ofâas if maybe someone had been asking somebody else questions and writing down their answers. He thought the questions might be about how some people had reacted to the end of Weirdmageddon. He got the impression the people being discussed had known that Weirdmageddon was coming. He got the impression they were disappointed it hadn't happened. There were several questions at the end: How will we rendes-vouz? (Whoever was writing didn't know how to spell rendezvous, but to be fair Soos wasn't 100% sure either.) What supplies do you need? What are your interim orders?
Soos stared at the notebook papers.
He flipped back through the journal again, looking at each page more closely.
Sometimes the two-tone dot-and-dash segments had a stray human word: a few characters he recognized from his Teach Yourself Japanese workbooks, sometimes words Soos thought might be Arabic but honestly he didn't have a clue. At one point he listed half a dozen human names that Soos didn't recognize. The most common character was a stretched-out letter M (Mabel?), followed by a 6 knocked on its side (Sixer?).
The dot-and-dash segments had occasional amateurish illustrations. Sometimes they were human stick figures; sometimes the stick figures' heads had symbols off of Bill's zodiac wheel. He saw Stan's fish symbol, Gideon's star symbol, and Mabel's shooting star symbol. Ford's stick figures were the only ones with hands; Bill consistently gave them six fingers. The doodles were like particularly esoteric cave drawings; they were so bad that Soos couldn't tell what most of them were supposed to illustrate.
Except for one featuring Bill (as a triangle) and Mabel and some other inscrutable figures in a really awesome car with flames on the side, its coolness limited only by the fact that it was all in gray and yellow-green crayon. When Soos had been in high school, there had always been a couple of kids who didn't know how to draw anything except expensive cars or name-brand sports shoes, but they drew them in extreme realistic detail. Apparently, Bill was that kind of artist. Nothing but stick figures and the sickest crayon car Soos had ever seen.
It didn't do anything to dispel Soos's impression of Bill as a lost alien 18-year-old.
On one page, in sloppy lines of handwriting that meandered drunkenly up and down the paper, Bill had written, "I don't get why you won't give me a second shot. I asked you to join my gang. I serenaded you in a pyramid. I got a fantastic makeover. I offered you godhood. I showed you my dimension. I didn't torture you until I had to. I even made you a skin couch! I know how much you've always wanted a leather furniture set! I've given you everything from chicken zombification magic to jelly beans, what does it take? What am I missing?"
Soos reread Bill's other messages to Ford. All that "you'll regret not siding with me" junk wasn't threats. It was the impotent rage of a socially inept teenager who didn't understand his own creepiness had driven his friends away. It was the whiny moan of some guy going "Why doesn't she like me anymore" about an ex-girlfriend who had told him five times she didn't like him anymore because he didn't listen to her. Like that guy Wendy dated last summer. So like, a jerk, but not a terrifying world-ending monster jerk, just an annoying creep jerk. A regular jerk. A human jerk.
Soos stood, gave one last look at this journalâclearly stolen, definitely a violation of Bill's "no writing materials" restriction, completely stuffed full of mysterious messages to outsiders and some kind of weird alien code that could say anything at all and might have been super dangerousâand he slid it back into the ripped seam in the attic seat cushion where he'd found it.
He finished vacuuming up the potato chips Bill had flung across the room, thinking about how offended Bill had been that Soos had given him any food except what he'd asked for, remembering what Abuelita had said about people who destroy the things around them when they feel like that's the last and only thing they still have power over.
Enough was enough.
####
(Hope y'all enjoyed! Next week we may interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming to post a TBOB-based chapter I'm inserting early into the ficâit depends on if I get it done by next Friday. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to hearing y'all's thoughts on this chapter!)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#soos ramirez#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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of drunk regrets * fem!driver
the morning after vegas
what does one do when you have no recollection of getting married?
pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, mick schumacher x fem!driver
notes: hi late update and thatâs because i was crocheting the entire day lol
(series masterlist)
she hums turning around, her arm landing on something solid instead of a soft pillow. she opens an eye, flinching back when her eyes land on someoneâs clothed back, then groans when nausea slowly hits her.
âwho the fuck is this?â
the person next to her hums. they left their head before dropping it back into the pillow. âmm.â
she looks around to the best of her ability, snorting when she realises that amidst all her drunken antics from the night before, they didnât even end up on the bed. theyâre sleeping on the carpeted floor of her hotel room.
she lifts her head, ignoring the nausea hitting her all at once. the bed is empty.
a hand comes up to nurse her head, looking down at the body lying next to her with the blanket draped over their shoulder loosely. she brought somebody back to her hotel room with her? now thatâs just a tabloid rumour waiting to blow up in her face when she opens up her phone.
she leans forward, wobbling slightly, as she tries to get a glimpse of their face. her eyes widen, landing a smack on their shoulder with some force. "what the hell are you doing here?"
"don't hit me, i'm trying to sleep."
"mick! you're in my hotel room!"
"what?" blue eyes are exposed to the dim lights of the room, disappearing once more when mick shuts his eyes. "what am i doing here?"
"how would i know?" she sighs, slowly lying back down on the ground. "i don't remember anything."
"we didn't do anything... did we?"
she looks down at herself, surprisingly dressed in her pyjamas without any recollection of even making it back into her hotel room in the first place. "i hope not."
"you hope?" mick cries, shaking his head in dismay. "this is not good."
"give me a second. i need to think," she sighs, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead. "start thinking. do you remember anything from last night?"
mick also sighs, simply shaking his head. he pulls the blanket over his body and snuggles back into his pillow. "no, but wake me up when you've figured it out. i'm really hungover right now, mate."
"really? you don't think i am?"
"i'm sure you are, butâ what the hell is this on my finger? when did i get a mood ring?"
"you have a mood ring?" there's a momentary pause. "oh, look. i've got one too. when did iâ"
they both sit up hurriedly, hissing in pain as they point at each other with a loud gasp. "no! are you serious? did we really do that? when did we even have the time to do that?"
mick cries. "my mother is going to kill me."
"mine will kill me â i'm barely 21, mick!"
"i'm going to american jail! you're not even legal here!" he rubs his eyes. âi donât wanna go to jail here!â
she scrambles around for her phone, eyes widening at her notifications.
SUPERMAX you and mick???
RATSELL what's ur ig post about m8?
LOWGAN when u wake up, there's a cup of water and an advil on the bedside for u also, check ur instagram
PASTRY you did the funniest thing last night.
LILLIES thanks for the free pizza wish i could've been there for the actual ceremony though? it's ok, maybe at your next wedding
ALBONO please tell me you didn't
LAW SON i think u may have sent logan over the edge cuz wtf is bro doing in my hotel room ranting to charlotte and i at 5am
MICKEY ur asleep rn i can't sleep when do u think we should renew our vows??? oh no we got married!??!??!
BLYTHE mate u got married without me in attendance??? not saying i'm offended but like seriously?
THE BETTER SARGEANT who u married to? if it's logan istg omg is it mick? i saw ur instagram
LANCE
congrats!!!
if iâd known sooner, iâd have bought you a wedding gift before landing in vegas
iâll get one before the last race i promise
SEBASTIAN ur very funny, do u know that? text me when ur up, we should talk
MUMMY wowww let me know what wedding gift to get you you grow up so fast, my love
PAPA what is all this ruckus i'm hearing between mum and blythe about you getting married? call me.
KRISTEN (PR) team meeting asap. bring the schumacher.
she glances at mick. "my dad's going to kill you."
mick turns to her, shoulders slumped with his eyes widened in panic. "i really really hope my mother gets to me first." he shakes his head and pats around the ground for his phone. "you know what? i'll just tell her myself."
âdonât bother,â she scoffs, lying back down in the pillow sprawled on the floor. âi vividly remember you calling gina when we were getting pizza that you married me in vegas.â
kristen chews on the inside of her cheek, scanning the group around her. "what is this? i only told you to bring mick."
the girl takes off the sunglasses on her face and sighs. "you think i didn't try telling them off? is this your first time meeting these losers? iâ listen, i'm too hungover to tell them off, kristen."
"please let us stay?" max smiles, batting his eyelashes at the older woman. "i promise we'll be quiet. i'm just curious over the events of last night."
"so am i," kristen points out in a soft voice, moving her eyes over the pair seated on the couch on the other side of her table. at that point, they are the least of her concerns. "do you know the pr nightmare you just caused over a couple of drinks? do you have any idea the reckless thing you just did?"
"please don't shout," she says softly, eyes closing. "it was stupid, we know. in my defenseâ"
"they shouldn't have even let us in the chapel in the first place in that state," mick sighs, shaking his head disapprovingly. âso technically, whose fault is it, really?â
âboth of yours for even coming up with the stupid idea in the first place!â logan screams, pointing at them in frustration. âyou made a bad decision!â
kristen glances at logan, shooting him a side eye for disrupting her meeting. when logan shrugs, she simply looks back at the married pair her seats. âyouâre not even 21! you did this in america too! god!â
âand they shouldnât have permitted it knowing that i wasnât 21!â the young girl shrieks, immediately defending herself. this is a hill she is willing to die on. âletâs focus more on the fact that they let two drunk idiots get married instead of the fact that i thought of it.â
âyou came up with that idea?â max throws his head back, hissing softly as he shook his head. âwhy am i not surprised?â
âright? you have to tell her how stupid she is for this,â logan rambles in frustration. âseriously! you couldnât go one year without making a stupid decision?
she rolls her eyes, glancing at mick from the side of her eyes. he flashes her an apologetic grin and she shrugs with another eye roll in response.
âi mean, youâre an adult. you can do whatever you want, but do you know how legally exhausting the entire process will be from here on out?â max continues, throwing his arms in the air. âknowing you, you wonât like it! thereâs a lot of papers to sign!â
âand paper work to read!â logan adds on. âseriously!â
âgod, (y/n), how could you be so stuââ
âi came up with the idea,â mick speaks out, turning to max and logan with a small smile. âitâs not her fault, you guys. come on. lay off her a little bit.â
she shoots him a questioning stare. âno, waitââ
mick laughs. âthe deal at the pizza place just looked so good. iâm not excusing it because we were drunk, but cut us some slack.â
sebastian, sitting quietly in the corner of the room, finally stands up. he folds his arms over his chest. âit doesnât matter who came up with the crazy idea to get married in vegas.â
âyouâre still not mad?â logan raises an eyebrow. âthereâs got to be some part of you that is.â
âhow about let me conduct my meeting with my driver in peace? unless you want to take over my job of being her pr officerâŚâ kristen speaks out, looking around the room to shut down any more forms of interruption. she looks back at her. âlet me see the marriage certificate.â
âthe what?â
âyou signed one, didnât you?â
she scrunches her nose and looks at mick. âdid we sign one? i really canât remember.â
âi donât,â mick cuts himself off, looking just as clueless, âi literally blacked out last night. i donât remember anything.â
sebastian beams, standing a little straighter. âi have it right here! look at it, kristen.â
he puts down a piece of paper on the table. the entire room watches the woman read over the paper, lips pressed together.
a small laugh bubbles from her, grabbing the certificate into her hands and bringing it closer to her face. her laugh gets a little louder, sebastian eventually joining her with a hand over his mouth.
âwhat is so funny?â she sighs, rolling her eyes. âall i can think about is the shopping spree i canât have this month over the lawyer fees.â
âand the fact that i could end up in american jail for marrying a 20-year-old!â
kristen grins, slamming the certificate down onto the table. âitâs illegitimate.â
âwhat?â
âoh?â
âsurprising turn of events!â
âillegitimate?â
a hand slams into the table, the youngest in the room jumping to her feet. âillegitimate? what about my free pizza? how is that illegitimate? iâm not a schumacher anymore?â
âyou changed your name?â oscar pipes up, roaring in laughter, covering his face. this entire ordeal has been very amusing to him.
she turns around sheepishly with a small smile. âi was planning to. how cool would it be to be a schumacher?â
âwhat the fuck?â logan says to her, bewildered at the thought process. âyouâre not married and youâre telling me thatâs the only thing youâre concerned about? not being a schumacher in the eye of the law?â
mick giggles, looking up at her with an impressed expression. âschumacher does go along well with your name.â
âi know. should we get married for realsies after this weekend and legally change my name?â
âhave you learned nothing from this?â kristen throws her hands into the air. she leans back into her seat, letting out the heaviest sigh of relief as she no longer has to engage with any legal teams. pr wise, it would be easy.
she shrugs, sitting back down into the cushioned seat. âdonât get drunk with mick in vegas.â
âfirst and last time iâm drinking that much with you,â mick adds on with a snort. though, thereâs a small smile playing on his face as he looks at her.
they both know that wonât be the last time theyâll be sending their pr officers into a frenzy. theyâre truly a force to be reckoned with.
and, it could have been worse.
âi paid for all the pizzas you ate and threw up last night,â sebastian sighs, shaking his head. âyou owe me like $100.â
she nods. âokay, iâll pay you. still no shopping spree for me this month, i guess.â
mick clicks his tongue, giving her a thumbs up. âiâll pay him. consider it my wedding gift to you, wife.â
âsheâs not your wife,â logan points out with an eye roll. âdidnât even get married in the first place, remember? illegitimate. not even a real certificate. never happened. literally no record of it.â
âiâm curious,â max furrows his eyebrows and lips pouted out. âhow did you pull this off to make it seem real, seb?â
âi arrived to their âweddingâââ
ânot real!â
âlogan, cut it out.â
ââbefore them. i spoke to the receptionist before they arrived; they donât let drunk people get married. i convinced her to give them the slot anyway just to teach these two a lesson.â
âimpressive?â kristen smiles. âyou just saved me a lot of paper work.â
âand mick the beating heâd get from her dad if it actually ever happened to go through.â
she smiles, leaning over the arm rest to whisper at mick. she taps him on the shoulder. âwe should celebrate with ice cream.â
â bonus
they flood out of the office collectively, the young girl looking down at the mood ring around her ring finger. âwe should keep the rings, shouldnât we, mick? keepsake.â
âto remind you of your bad decision making?â logan questions.
âno, to piss you off.â she turns around and shoves him back gently. âof course, just to keep memory of the one time i was almost a schumacher!â
sebastian tilts his head. âyou know youâll still be you, right? even if youâre legally considered a schumacher? you wonât get his blue eyes.â
âi could,â she hums with a smile. âso, husband. watching the race from my garage tonight like a factory manufactured wag?â
âcanât, wife,â mick sighs. âi work for mercedes.â
âi could get you the second seat if you wanted.â
âyou have the power to do that?â she nods. âthatâs hot.â
âcut it out, you guys are making max uncomfortable!â oscar grunts, pushing the pair apart.
beside them, max has his fingers plugged into his ears and is humming softly to himself. âitâs not real, itâs not real. theyâre not actually married,â he whispers to himself. âand it will never happen.â
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#sebastian vettel x reader#logan sargeant x reader#max verstappen x reader#oscar piastri x reader#mick schumacher x reader#f1 female driver#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fem!driver#female driver#disneyprincemuke#disneyprincemuke vr#disneyprincemuke imagine#disneyprincemuke imagines#disneyprincemuke f1
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something like love
part - 2
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 5.3k
c/w - language, slight angst if you squint, emetephobia warning
a/n - hi!! itâs odd for me to post two days in a row, so try not to get used to it! i just already had this written and wanted to share it so baddd. hope yall enjoy! also, this is unedited so once again, im begging, lmk if thereâs any mistakes. and ofc tell me what you think!!
To be honest, Azzi hadnât really known what to expect when they put their plan in motion. She and Paige had gone over the logistics, sure, but theyâd only really skimmed over how theyâd act in public, and whether theyâd hold hands, and what kind of flirty things theyâd say to each other. Azzi sort of regrets her decision to let Paige lead the way, because that makes her feel like sheâs going into this blind, with no idea of how Paige is going to act when theyâre together now. No idea of how things are going to change.
It is only the morning after their movie night, and here is what Azzi has learned so far:
For one, Paige doesnât actually seem to be that big on hand-holding. The only time she held Azziâs hand last night was when she led her to the doorway once the night was over, waving their joined hands goodbye to their friends.
Paige does, however, seem to be big on basically everything else.
Once the girls were done gushing and celebrating and asking (very invasive) questions, theyâd all decided on some horror movie theyâd seen the trailer for. Azzi hates horror movies and she guesses this is probably the reason why Paige advocated so hard to watch one. Because as soon as they turned the lights off and the scary intro music started, Paige wrapped her arm around Azziâs shoulders, pulling her flush against her side. They stayed this way for around ten minutes before Paige claimed she had to use the restroom, but before she left, she kissed Azziâs head and mumbled, âDonât get too scared while Iâm gone, baby,â into her ear. Azzi had swallowed thickly and nodded, and pretended not to notice Jana wiggling her eyebrows at her.
When the first real jumpscare happened, and Azzi screamed along with a few of the other girls, Paige chuckled quietly and leaned down to whisper, âYouâre such a baby about this kinda stuff, Az.â Azzi had reacted how she normally would, slapping Paige on the arm and rolling her eyes, defending herself with a, âShut up, I know youâre scared, too.â But what wasnât normal was the way Paige fondly shook her head and nuzzled her cheek with her nose before pressing a kiss there, and then leaned back up to pull Azzi into her side once more, this time protectively. Azzi swore she could hear her own heart racing for a solid five minutes afterwards. It didnât help that KK had looked back at them and said, âAw, yâall grossing me out with how cute you are,â before turning back to the movie. Paige had snickered. Azzi had taken a deep breath, which did nothing to help with her composure.
Almost an hour into the movie, Paige rested her hand on Azziâs thigh and squeezed, and she didnât give Azzi any time to tame the fire in her belly before leaning into her ear once more and whispering, âYouâre so stiff. You gotta chill,â and so, tamping down the need to cross her legs, Azziâd obeyed and leaned her head on Paigeâs shoulder.
At some point or another, she mustâve fallen asleep there, because all she remembers after that is a gentle pressure on her shoulder, jostling her softly, and a voice from her dreams saying, âAz, itâs late, we gotta go. Time to wake up, baby,â and Azzi opened her eyes to find Paige sitting beside her, giving her this look that Azzi had only ever caught glimpses of, and it was so soft she had to shut her eyes again.
âThought we were sleeping over,â Azzi mumbled, stretching and then turning onto her side, realizing vaguely that somebody mustâve thrown a blanket over her.
âNah, I figured we better sleep in an actual bed tonight.â Paige stroked back a strand of Azziâs hair with incredible tenderness before taking her by the waist and hefting her into a sitting position. âCâmon. Iâll take you to mine, okay?â
Azzi had nodded sleepily, and had let Paige say all their goodnights while she hung off her arm with lidded eyes. Even in her half-sleep state, she didnât miss the way the girls elbowed each other and gave knowing glances.
Now, Azzi stares at Paige, who lays sleeping just next to her, hair all splayed out and mouth hanging open. Azzi smiles softly at her. She and Paige have slept in the same bed hundredsâmaybe thousandsâof times, but this is different, because Azzi is allowing herself to pretend that it is. She imagines reaching out and waking Paige the same way Paige woke her last night, gently and lovingly, and then sharing a lazy morning together as a couple where they joke about morning breath and talk about their plans and hold each other.
But Paige grumbles, then shifts and blinks her eyes open, rubbing them a little before finding Azzi laying next to her. She smiles, but itâs not the same smile from last nightâitâs not that tender, adoring smile, but rather the one Azzi is used toâthe wide, toothy, beautiful but friendly one. âOh, hey. Morning.â
âMorning,â Azzi mumbles, her indulgent fantasy broken, and she reminds herself just how careful sheâll have to be while she and Paige are doing this. She cannot allow herself too many delusions, cannot let her imagination run wild with the idea that their act is real. She cannot let herself get burned by this.
âYou kept stealing the blankets last night.â
Azzi lies onto her back to avoid eye contact, staring up at the ceiling. âNo, Paige, you were taking up the entire bed.â
âCap,â Paige says, shoving her shoulder. Rough, friendly. Sisterly.
Itâs silent for a second and then Paige turns onto her side. âHey.â Azzi can feel her eyes burning into the side of her head. âWe did pretty good last night, yeah? We seemed super in love and shit?â
Azzi doesnât chance a glance over, staring stubbornly at the ceiling. âYeah, P,â she agrees. âWe did.â
ââââââââââââââ
Finals come far too fast.
The last month of school is always hectic, and this year has been no differentâAzziâs spent the vast majority of her time studying, drinking her nostalgia away with friends, and then more studying on top of that.
Oh, and pretending to be in a committed relationship with Paige. That too.
Some days are easier than othersâitâs not like theyâre being forced to undress each other in front of an audience or anything. They havenât even had to utilize pet names much. But itâs stillâŚdifferent. So different. Paige was touchy-feely with Azzi even before they started âdatingâ, so now, if they ever sit more than an inch apart or walk somewhere without wrapping their arms around each other, they get strange glances from their friends. A couple mornings ago, they were so hungover that they forgot about their whole act, and when theyâd stumbled out of Paigeâs room and began making breakfast without so much as a word to each other, KK had abrasively asked if their was âtrouble in paradiseâ. Paige was all over her the rest of the day. After two weeks, Azzi is starting to get used to it.
At least they havenât had to kiss. They havenât even discussed it, and Azzi has been specifically avoiding that topic of conversation. She knows herself well enough to know that she canât kiss her best friend and act normal about it.
Later, Azzi will curse herself for thinking this without knocking on wood after.
âSo, we all know the rules of the game?â
âKKââ
âGirl, just answer the question!â
A pause, and then a bored chorus of yesâes.
âYay!â With a big, tipsy smile on her face, KK places the empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle.
Paige groans and rests her head on Azziâs shoulder. âKK, this is so fuckinâ lame.â
âFor real!â Ice says from a few spots down. âWeâre not in middle school.â
KK waves them off. âGirl, boo. Yâall are the lame ones. Thisâll be so much fun, youâll be thanking me after.â
Everyone starts to groan in response to this, but Caroline, ever the mom, speaks up. âCâmon, guys, just play KKâs game.â
Unable to really say no to Caroline, the group shuts up. KK smiles excitedly. âNow thatâs what I like to hear! Thank you, Carol.â
Azzi brings her hand up to rest on Paigeâs back, and sheâs proud that it almost comes naturally now, like her body knows thatâs just what itâs supposed to do.
Nika breaks the peace a moment later with another teasing comment, which prompts KK to yell at her, and then everyone is talking amongst themselves, the room buzzing with late-night, drunk-college-students-before-finals energy.
Paige sighs deeply into Azziâs shoulder, and she loves that sheâs the only one who can hear it, who can feel it against her skin.
Putting her lips to Paigeâs hair, Azzi mutters, âWanna go downstairs?â
Downstairs is where Paigeâs dorm is. Azziâs is the floor theyâre on now, and itâd probably make more sense to sleep there for the night. But Paigeâs dorm, and more specifically, her bedroom, is where theyâve been gravitating to the past couple weeks. Azzi has always loved it there, the smell of Paige filling the very air, photos of the two of them on her nightstand, purple bedding so very Paige. And now itâs become something of a sanctuary, a way to escape their facade which can become cumbersome.
Usually, theyâd be in bed by now, because Azzi likes to sleep early and Paige hasnât been wanting to stay up without her. But Paige shakes her head at the question.
âNo?â Azzi asks. âYouâre not tired?â
âMm, nah.â Paige glances up at her. âYou?â
Azzi licks her lips. She swears Paigeâs eyes track the movement, and linger for just a moment too long. She clears her throat. âSame.â
âAight,â Paige says, turning back to her shoulder. âWe can leave after this, ma.â
âHey, lovebirds,â KK says, barely giving Azzi any time to shudder at Paigeâs nickname. âPay attention. Youâre going first.â
Everybodyâs looking directly at Azzi, and she shakes her head awkwardly. âOh, no, I donât thinkââ
âIf you donât wanna play, you gotta take a shot every round.â
Paige lifts her head up. âKK, thatâs dumb. She doesnât have to play if she donât want to.â
KK smiles deviously. Paige flips her off, but Azzi pulls her hand down, rolling her eyes. âOkay, whatever.â She leans over into the middle of the circle, making Paige lean off of her, and spins the beer bottle.
It spins only twice before slowing down and, blessedly, landing on Aubrey.
The girls make a range of noises, mostly giggles, and then Aubrey leans into the circle to meet Azzi in the middle, smiling.
Once she gets close enough, Azzi whispers, âLiyah good with this?â
Aubrey raises her eyebrows. âIâon think itâs my girl we gotta be worried about.â
Confused, Azzi glances over her shoulder, and sees Paige staring intensely at them, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. The blank look on her usually lively face scares Azzi a little bit. She turns back to Aubrey, who also looks a little afraid.
âYouâre good,â Azzi reassures her, because she is. Aubrey doesnât know that Paige is just acting, because sheâs the possessive type and of course, if she and Azzi were really dating, sheâd be jealous even of her own teammates. But Azzi canât tell Aubrey this, so instead, she leans forward and kisses her.
Aubrey lets out a noise, surprised, and it makes Azzi laugh because she probably shouldâve warned her she was going in. The kiss canât last more than two seconds before thereâs a hand fisting Azziâs shirt, pulling her back, and Paige is saying, âAlright, alright,â quite gruffly.
Azziâs stomach does flips at Paigeâs rough voice, but sheâs tipsy (maybe a little bit more than tipsy) so she leans up to nuzzle Paigeâs cheek rather than shying away from her. âSomebodyâs jealous.â
âYeah,â Paige says, âno one should be up on you like that.â And theyâre obviously actingâbut when Azzi pulls away to look at her, thereâs something on her face that isnât quite fake enough.
But then sheâs smiling and saying, âStop tryna steal my girl, Aubrey,â and Azziâs heart contracts like it always does when Paige says stuff like this nowadays.
Across the circle, Aubrey takes her spin. It lands on Ice, and Ice is considerably more drunk than any of them, so the whole thing is pretty slobbery. The next spinâNikaâis mostly the same.
It goes like that for a while, a few people taking shots instead of kissing, and a few others taking shots for the hell of it. The bottle lands on Azzi once again and she fills her shot glass to the brim before taking it, needing to dull the feeling of Paigeâs hand wrapped possessively around her waist.
By the time the bottle lands on Paige, theyâre all pretty damn drunk.
Azzi knows itâs just a game, but sheâs always hated seeing Paige with other people, and now is no different. Ashlynn laughs, because this whole thing is pretty fucking funny, but Azzi canât help but sulk, glad to be under the guise of a relationshipâglad she doesnât have to hide her feelings for awhile.
Before leaning into the circle, Paige looks at Azzi and says, all lighthearted and buzzed, âDonât pout at me, baby.â
Thereâs that roughness again, that tone in the back of her throat, and Azzi squirms when Paige presses a wet kiss to her cheek.
Paige and Ashlynn kiss, but they both laugh kind of hysterically so their teeth are pretty much just clashing, and when theyâre done Paige wraps an arm around Azziâs shoulders and spins for herself. And it spins, and spins, and spins, so many times Azzi gets dizzy watching itâ
It gets to Amari, and it slows.
It passes by InĂŞs, barely moving anymore.
The neck gets back to Paige, and Azzi wonders for one drunk second, What if it lands on Paige and she has to kiss herself? and she doesnât even have the time to laugh at how ridiculous that is before the bottle stops, pointing almost accusingly at her.
The girls all cheer, oohing and laughing.
Paige laughs too, easy and casual because theyâre supposed to be a couple, theyâre supposed to have done this a thousand times, itâs supposed to be normal, normal, Azzi, act normal.
They should have known this would be inevitable.
Paige turns to her, still smiling but with a concerned, almost imperceptible furrow between her brow. Azzi obviously canât refuse this kiss, canât take a shot rather than kiss her girlfriend in front of all these people who know sheâs her girlfriend.
So instead, she wills herself to nod and then she takes Paige by the collar and kisses her.
Strangely enough, the first thing Azzi takes note of isnât actually the way Paigeâs lips feel touching hers for the first time, or the fact that their teammates are watching them, wolf-whistling and giggling amongst each other.
No, instead, itâs the way Paige smellsâthe fact that the hair tickling Azziâs cheek is sweet, vanilla, which means she washed her hair today. And itâs the way her hands cup Azziâs jaw, cradling her like they do this all the time, thumbs rubbing gently against her cheekbones in a gesture soft enough to make Azzi gasp into her mouth.
She only snaps into it and really realizes, oh, Paige is actually kissing me right now, when Paigeâs tongue teases against Azziâs bottom lip. And itâs just for a second, Paige pulling away fast enough that Azzi thinks she must have imagined it, but it leaves her lip wet.
After that, Paige sits back, smiling at her but thereâs that furrow between her brow again, imperceptible to anyone who doesnât know her as well as Azzi does, and sheâs stroking Azziâs cheek like a tick now, like sheâs trying to figure something out.
The moment ends when the girls all clap like white people on a plane, and Azzi isnât even paying attention to the teasing and cooing, because sheâs too busy staring at Paige, wondering what sheâs thinking about right now, wondering what about that kiss made her feel so damnâŚsafe.
Whenever she thought about her first kiss with Paige, she expected butterflies, light-headednessâmaybe even nausea. Comfort, the thing you feel when you come home to your small town after a semester awayâthat was not expected.
Paige blinks, that strange look on her face disappearing, and Azzi realizes that sheâs still holding onto the front of her shirt. She pushes her away teasingly, and Paige laughs, wrapping an arm around her as she turns to the girls, waving off their teasing remarks, and as Azzi watches her profile, feels the wetness on her bottom lip cool, she knows that she is falling and thinks nobody will be there to catch her when she reaches the bottom.
ââââââââââââââ
The next morning, Azzi wakes up and immediately regrets it.
Paigeâs window blanket mustâve fallen down last night, because the sun is shining through the room and it isâŚloud. She rolls onto her side to try and get away from it, and then that problem is fixed but another rises in the form of an abrupt tummyache. And Azzi prides herself on being a strong person, but as soon as she gets a tummyache itâs over for her.
Also, maybe the loud sun problem isnât as fixed as she thought because her head is beginning to pound. She can feel it beating against her skull in time with the beating of her heart, and somehow that gives her a feeling akin to motion sickness, which makes her tummy hurt worse. She is probably going to throw up very soon, and should get up so she doesnât do it all over Paigeâs bed, but thatâs where the third problem arises: she is so comfy. How can she ever be expected to leave this bed when sheâs so goddamn comfy?
âYo, are you gonna puke?â
Azzi groans. âProbably.â
Azziâs facing away, so she canât see what Paigeâs doing, but she hears sheets rustle and then a pair of footsteps on the hardwood floor. Soon enough, Paige is standing in front of her, holding a hand out. âCome on, Iâll help you.â
Azzi looks up, and that makes her stomach turn again, the back of her neck burning. âI donât want to.â
âIâm gonna kill you if you puke on my bed. Like, actually.â
If Azzi threw up on Paigeâs bed, Paige would probably usher her to the bathroom, give her some water, and clean the sheets without complaining about it until a few days later. But Azzi still doesnât think thatâd be a good idea, so she sits herself up and is about to accept Paigeâs hand when she realizes this is much more urgent than she thought. Almost as soon as her feet hit solid ground, the bile rises in her throat at an alarming rate and she has to run across the hall. She doesnât make it to the toilet but manages the bathtub, which is arguably better.
Paige is there once sheâs done, tying her hair up into a ponytail. âThat it?â
Azzi spits. âNo, I donât think so.â
âOkay. Lemme grab you some pepto or somethinâ. Hang tight.â
Once Paige walks away, Azzi wipes her mouth and all at once, like the tide coming in, remembers how the lips now coated in spit and bile were yesterday on Paigeâs.
Of course, she also remembers the pet names, the affection, the flash of jealousy in Paigeâs eyes that may or may not have been there. But itâs the kiss, the wonderful, tipsy, warm kiss that wrestles its way to the forefront of her pounding head and stays there, the memory replaying quite a few times before Paige comes back with pepto bismol and water. âHere.â
Azzi looks disdainfully at the bright pink medicine. âI donât think I can swallow that, P.â
âWhoa, pause.â
âChill,â Azzi says, rolling her eyes. âGimme that.â she takes them from Paigeâs hand and manages to swallow one before throwing up again, this time with Paige by her side to hold onto her while her shoulders heave.
âAw,â Paige tuts sympathetically when sheâs done. âMy lil lightweight.â
Azzi rests her head on the edge of the tub while Paige turns on the tap, washing the bile away.
Azzi lifts her head enough to see Paige sit against the wall across from her. âFeel okay now?â
Her throat burns, and her tummy hurts, and throwing up in front of the love of your life is not a glamorous experience. But with Paige here with her, taking care of her, she doesnât feel too bad.
If it only werenât for that really good fucking kiss.
Azzi nods weakly even though she doesnât know the answer, because saying âI hate the fact that we kissed last night, not because I regret itâIâve been wanting to do it since we were kids in high schoolâbut because now Iâm worried I wonât be able to keep my feelings hidden for much longer which is worrisome because we havenât even left for Montana yet, and also I wonder what this means for us and our fake relationship, because if it means kissing will become a normal thing I donât know if I can do thisâ would probably be weird.
âK, good. Thanks for not puking in my bed.â
Azzi smiles weakly at her, mouth still tasting like bile. How could Paige ever return her feelings when she has seen her like this a hundred other times?
Paige reaches a socked toe out to nudge Azziâs calf. âOkay, you said you feel better, but you still look kindaâŚgreen.â
Azzi looks Paige in the eye, and manages maybe a second of eye contact before sheâs thinking about how they looked at each other just like this after they kissed last night, and there it goes, the moment playing in her head once and then again. She canât help but groan and rest her burning cheek to the cool tub.
And the universe should go to hell for making them best friends because Paige gets it instantly. âOh, this is about last night.â
Suddenly the cool tub isnât helping anymore. Azzi weakly shakes her head, but she knows the truth is showing plainly on her face.
âYeah, whatever.â Paige pushes herself off the wall, wiggling her eyebrows. Azzi senses trouble. âIt was a good kiss, huh?â
Azzi balks, then tries to reel it in. âThatâs notâŚPaigeâŚâ
âHold up,â Paige says, looking genuinely a little confused. âYou donât think Iâm a good kisser?â
âNo, no, but I justâŚâ how can Paige talk about this so casually, like it was meaningless, something to be joked about? Azzi envies her lack of feelings. âDonât you think we should talk about it?â
âUh, I meanâŚâ Paige scratches the side of her neck, and it occurs to Azzi that the bathroom isnât an amazing place to talk about this. âYeah, sure. If you want to.â
Not exactly an encouraging answer. Azzi strives on nonetheless. âIt was our first kiss.â
âYeah. Guess we coulda planned it better.â
âYeah, I guessâŚâ Azzi trails off. âDon't you think it was sort ofâŚweird?â
Paige frowns again. âDamn! If you didnât like the kiss just say that.â
Azzi hopes she can blame her flushed cheeks on the hangover. âP, I donât mean it like that. Itâs just that youâre my best friendââ
âThatâs me.â Paige smiles proudly. Itâs too fucking cute.
âAnd,â Azzi says pointedly, âI feel like, weird, about kissing you.â
She waits for Paige to answer, but Paige just stares, apparently waiting for her, too. Azzi sighs. âI worry we wonât be able to fake it well enough.â
âWe did fine last night, didnât we?â
âWe were drunk last night.â
Paige makes a face. âI guess. But I feel like weâd do good even if we were sober, yâknow?â She leans her head back against the wall. âAnd itâs not like kissingâs a big deal, anyway.â
Azziâs eyes drop down to the tiled floor, cold against the thin material of her sleep pants. âMaybe not to you,â she mumbles.
Thereâs a shuffling, and then Paige is closer than before, nudging Azziâs knee with her own. âYeah, youâre right, thatâs my bad.â Thereâs a silence, both of them thinking, and Azzi wonders if maybe Paige is thinking the same thing she is. About how their kiss last night feltâŚdifferent. Different than a kiss between two friends, different than the other kisses with other people felt. And the look Paige gave her afterwardâŚ
But then Paige says, âWanna practice, ma?â and Azzi was a fool to ever think theyâd be on the same track.
Azzi splutters for a moment. âPractice?â
âYeah. To prepare, in case we have to do it again,â Paige says casually, like itâs no big deal at all.
âI donât think thatâsâŚthatâs notââ Azzi cuts herself off on a sigh. Then she looks at Paige, really looks at her, and thatâs when she catches the glint in Paigeâs eyes, and she realizesâsheâs messing with her. Sheâs taking advantage of Azziâs obvious shyness about this whole thing.
What a little shithead.
Making a quick decision, Azzi leans forward a little bit, glancing down, then back up, looking at Paige through her lashes before she licks her lip.
Paige clocks it, tracks it with her eyes. Just like last night.
Azzi swallows down the nervousness and wills herself to be normal, reminds herself that this is Paige, and she has no reason to sink into her shell when she has the opportunity to take the upper hand.
âOkay,â Azzi says after a moment.
Paigeâs eyes flit up, away from her lips. âOkay?â
Azzi nods, then lifts her hand to place over Paigeâs knee, bare in her sleep shorts, before she dances her fingers delicately up her thigh. âYou wanna practice kissing me, Paige?â
Paige swallows thickly. And then she nods.
Okay. So. ThatâsâŚunexpected.
Paige wants to kiss her.
That would explain the lip-ogling.
Azzi has half a mind to make the biggest mistake of her life and close the gap between them, but then she remembers they are sitting on the bathroom floor, and, ew, she just threw up. Twice.
Azzi manages what she hopes is a cocky smirk and leans away. âWell, too bad. Sick, remember?â
Paigeâs eyes widen, like sheâs just been snapped out of a trance. âOh. Yeah.â She backs off then, relief coursing through Azzi, before sheâs standing up and dusting off her shorts as she reaches down to help Azzi up. âYou good to stand?â
Ok. So theyâre not talking about it. Cool.
Azzi nods and takes Paigeâs hand, her palm warm against her own as their fingers entangle for the two seconds it takes to go from sitting to standing, feeling a little dizzy from the altitude once sheâs up.
Paige frowns at her. âYou still look kinda messed up. How âbout you lay down. I can go get us some food? Gotta fuel up for all the studying today.â
Azzi groans, palming her face. âNo, I forgot about finals.â
âAzzi Fudd? Forgetting about finals?â Paige teases, leading them out of the bathroom. âLast night really fucked you up, huh?â
âYeah,â Azzi mumbles. âIt was definitely the alcohol that did it.â
Paige glances back at her but doesnât say anything, sitting Azzi down on the edge of the bed once they get there. âOkay, sit here and chill out. Lemme know if you need to puke again.â She smiles down at her, and Azzi smiles weakly back, before the older girl is turning on her heel and walking out of the room, closing the door gently behind her. Another door opens somewhere down the hall and then one of the girlsâ voices mixes in with Paigeâs as the roommates converse too quietly for Azzi to really hear. She sighs and flops down on the bed, hands wringing nervously at her stomach as she stares at the ceiling.
She has really gotten herself into some shit this time.
Her phone starts buzzing from its place on the nightstand, and Azzi straightens up to check it, her motherâs face flashing on the screen. Anxiety coils in Azziâs belly at the sight of her motherâs contact, which usually brings her so much comfort.
Ever since she and Paige âcame outâ to their friends, Azzi has been avoiding her mother like the plague. She knows she should just come out and tell Katie, but sheâs not sure what she should tell her.
Azzi knows that Katie would disapprove if she found out about their little scheme, the woman avidly against lying. But if Azzi were to tell Katie what theyâve been telling everyone elseâthat they are a disgustingly happy, perfectly real coupleâsheâd be lying to her mother. And with Katie being her main confidante throughout her entire life, Azziâs never really been good at that. She hasnât gotten enough practice.
Not without guilt, Azzi lets it go to voicemail, holding her phone close to her chest afterwards, lying back down. She feels nauseous again at just the thought of lying to her mom. But if she came clean, would Katie make her feel guilty about it? Urge her to tell the truth, even if it meant not helping Paige like she promised she would?
Just as Azziâs about to head back to the bathroom, Paige comes to the bedroom, leaning through the doorframe. âToastâs almost done, Az.â
Azzi nods but doesnât move. Paige lingers, sensing that Azziâs going to say something.
Finally, after some internal debate, Azzi says, âWhat do you think I should tell my mom?â
Paige frowns. âI thought you talked to her already.â
Azzi shrugs. âWe havenât called. Iâve been avoiding her, but I feel bad about it.â
Paige bites her lip like she always does when sheâs thinking, and it eases some of the tension out of Azziâs shoulders, softening her around the edges. She leans against the doorframe, looking right at Azzi. âWell, what do you wanna do?â
Azzi shrugs helplessly.
Paige scrunches her nose (very cutely) and says, âHonestly, I donât think we should tell her. Not yet, at least.â
Azzi heaves out a breath, not liking the sound of that answer. âYou think?â
âYeah. Have you met your mom?â Paige smiles fondly. âLady canât keep a secret for shit.â
âYouâre right.â Azzi hadnât thought of that, the fact her momâs the town gossip. âSheâd probably have the truth out before we could even finish telling her.â
Paige nods in agreement. âExactly. Plus, itâs easier to tell everyone the same story, right?â
âI guess.â Unsteady, Azzi pushes herself up from the bed, walking over to Paige slowly. âYou still sure this is a good idea?â
âEven if I wasnât,â Paige says, âweâre too deep in it now.â
Azzi looks up at her solemnly. âThe point of no return.â
âUh-huh.â Paige sighs out a breath, looking almost regretfully at the girl in front of her. âSorry again, about asking you to do this. I know itâs kinda a whole thing now.â
Azziâs shaking her head before Paige can even finish. âI already told you, itâs fine. We go to Montana soon, and before we know it weâll be done.â Azziâs stomach sort of sinks at the thought. No more flirting, no more cheek-kissing, no more Paige protectively slinging an arm around her shoulder while theyâre in public like sheâs telling everyone Azziâs herâs.
Azzi manages what she hopes is an optimistic smile anyway. âLetâs go eat breakfast. And then Iâll call my mom back and we can tell her together?â
Almost as if reading her mind, Paige easily wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close as she leads her down the hallway. âAlright, ma. Sounds good to me.â
@smiths-fan--13 @ch12334
#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#pazzi fics#pazzi#fake dating#pazzi crumbs#paige buckets#paige x azzi#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#the people's princess
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you love me (i really do) ~ lando norris
~ part 1 ~
warnings: drinking, angst
Everything came back to her now about that night in a flash, the night Lando got a podium in Singapore. It had seemed like a blur in the moment, since the celebration had been so quickly swallowed up by endless shots, blaring music, too much touching, and the way Landoâs touch felt hot and heavy all over her.
Heâd wanted to celebrate it, thatâs obviously why he was crazy drunk- his eyes bright with the sort of excitement only a champion had. Heâd been so happy, soaking up every moment of attention that blared on him. Sure, Carlos had won the race, but Lando had been enjoying each second like he was the one taking home the first place trophy. Â
The photos and videos seemed endless. There was him getting out of the car, his toothy grin, the way his face lit up in pride as he raised the trophy high above his head. Each scroll past the photos felt like more of her restraint being chipped away at her body.
Her situation had become so direly drastic to the one sheâd found herself deep within only a matter of hours ago. Her surroundings went from the blinding neon lights of the club, to the sudden dim shade as her head remained buried under layers of thick blankets. Her neck craned at an uncomfortable angle to look at her phone screen as her thumb idly swiped through twitter. It seemed like a bad dream, a bad hangover at that- all regret with all good memories just narrowly out of reach.
Seemingly, the whole platform had been going crazy over the âCarLandoâ podium. The memory of seeing it first hand was beyond hazy for her, but seeing the photos now- it mustâve been the best of his career. Standing on the second step next to his best friend, champagne coated his face in a glimmering sheen under the luminous night light celebrations.Â
Each new piece of media that appeared on her timeline caused her resolve to falter slightly more, being steadily replaced with the desire to bombard his phone with strings of apology texts. She shouldnât have walked out on him, she shouldnât have left without an apology, she shouldn't have ignored the three times heâd tried to call her presumably just after heâd woken up in an empty bed.
But she also shouldnât have slept with him.
He was her best friend and not even a day ago, he was on top of her, all over her, inside her. Whoâs to say when he did it with her wouldâve been different? It was likely the exact same as every other time for him- have a good race (sometimes even if it had been a shitty one), get drinks, wait for a flock of attention from girls, give the most basic of compliments, â you have beautiful eyes,â, âyouâre fucking gorgeous in that dress,â, and wait for them to fall to their knees for him- literally.
Maybe it would wash over, maybe heâd be fine by the Japanese grand prix, Qatar at the least. Heâd be fine, he always was. He somehow managed to consistently pick himself back up after each bad race, getting over a one night stand would be much easier than that.
Right?
Japan was the race directly after Singapore, and she didnât attend. Lando wasnât going to miss her, sheâs pretty sure of that. After the initial few calls heâd attempted to make to her the morning she left him in the hotel, heâd gone seemingly radio silent. He was posting regularly on instagram, liking stupidly immature tweets, even hinting towards big upcoming projects for quadrant. He was.. normal. Unaffected clearly.
She took a flight to Australia, reckoning it was just about the safest place she could escape from Lando. The Australian grand prix was way back at the beginning of the year, and unlike his teammate, this wasnât even his home, and he had no reason to go there.
She could camp out here for as long as she pleased- or at least until the middle of march when the 2024 Australian grand prix would be taking place. From the 24 of september until the 20 of march (give or take a few days), she had just about 6 months to sort herself the fuck up with him, or just escape somewhere else.
Trying to ignore all the information and blast of new media as the Qatar grand prix approached was near unignorable. McLaren was clearly confident about the track, and they believed that even under the unideal conditions of the track and the surrounding environment, that the cars were designed to fit each aspect of the Lusail Circuit.
And she wasnât necessarily purposefully ignoring anything Lando related- in actuality she sometimes found her fingers hovering over a new interview of his. It was refreshing to see him happy, looking a whole lot better than sheâd been feeling the last few days. So when her calendar pings as a reminder that qualifying was happening at 7 am, despite the stupid hour sheâd need to be awake for it- she watched it anyways.Â
Lando narrowly ended in 10th after his lap times were deleted. Oscar suffered the same fate, but still had the advantage of being 3 places ahead of his senior teammate for the sprint shootout. Unfortunately he suffered again in the sprint shootout, Oscar starting in pole position while he came narrowly behind in second. Considerably an impressive feat, but for someone who wasnât satisfied if he was not very first- Lando couldnât have seemed more disappointed.
The sprint was worse for him afterwards, dropping from 1st to 2nd as Max took his spot. Oscar retained his pole, keeping his pace throughout the whole race to eventually take home his first win (even if â it wasnât a real raceâ) as a rookie. Lando, once again, was not thrilled. After being in the sport for 5 years, he was still chasing the high that would accompany a win.
On the day of the actual race, Lando performed only slightly worse than Oscar- the two of them securing the second âMcPodiumâ of the season with Oscar on the second step and Lando in third. Beneath the sheer exhaustion, near matching grins spreaded across both of their faces as they proudly held up their trophies. There was no doubt that Lando would every let the fact that his rookie teammate got win before he did- that much was evident in all the post race interviews.Â
There were certainly moments where she contemplated sending him a message, congratulating him on another podium to add to his collection. It did feel wrong though, appearing again out of nowhere when he achieved something notable. She didnât want to come across that sheâd only be there for him when he was successful. In actuality, she really just wanted to be back in his life. Surely a week without contact wouldnât end the multi-year friendship they had.
But after all, a lot can happen in one night. Maybe Lando would gradually just turn into a distant memory of hers- somebody that she once knew.
At COTA, Lando secured his fourth podium in a row. Heâd gotten 2nd in Singapore, 2nd in Japan, 3rd in Qatar, and back up to 2nd in America. This time, Oscar doesnât join him on the podium, Lewis does instead. Two multi world champions- one a recent 3 time champion, the other with 7 titles- and Lando right there next to them. Heâd be next, she was sure he would be.
Itâs quite the sight, the three men stood up on their respective steps. Lewis- the past of formula one. The man who ruled the sport for years, taking home win after win. Only challenged by the very race winner of Max Verstappen. He was the face of formula one for the time being, and likely could be for the following few years. There were only a few talents in the sport who had the potential to fight Max for those future titles- and Lando was certainly one of them. He had a good car, a teammate who could challenge and push him to be a better driver, he had the determination- the drive to win.
Mexico wasnât anything to write home about. She tried to not watch it, getting an icky feeling each time she saw Lando on screen because the only place her mind would go to was how sweet his mouth tasted. It seemed that the only thoughts that would flood her brain each time she saw anything related to him, her body went into a sort of remembering state when all she could think about was how sheâd felt that night. He ended in 5th, so maybe she shouldâve just not watched the race. His face was hardly shown beyond a clip of him just before getting onto the car, and then in the post race interviews. At least she didnât stay up all night thinking about it.
Brazil on the other hand was a race worth watching- Max in 1st, Lando in 2nd, Fernando in 3rd. The gap between Alonso and Norris is insane, especially given Fernando was a 2 time world champion with more than 20 years of experience. Heâd be next, she knew it. Heâll be a world champion soon, and her only wish was that sheâd be smart enough and brave enough to reach out with congratulations. She also hoped that heâd be happy to receive one from her.
Notably the worst race of the season is Las Vegas, given that Lando crashed on Lap 3. He slammed straight into a barrier, his car almost flinging backward with the power of hitting a wall at 180mph. It was the only race she didnât want, but hearing about it afterwards sent a cold sweat down her back. A sharp inhale filled her lungs and her hand stayed attached over her gaping mouth. She didnât check how bad the crash was initially, and wad glad when she heard he was out without any injuries.
Finally, the season finale in Abu Dhabi occurred. After such an intense season (that sheâd shamefully tuned in for more than she wouldâve liked to admit post Singapore), it was almost a relief when the race ended, because of the realisation that she wouldnât have to hear about Lando for a few months, until preseason testing at least.Â
With the slight friendship (and possibly to be further blossoming) sheâd managed to accumulate with Oscar, sheâd found out the Brit was basically doing a world tour over the winter holiday. Places such as Bali and Vietnam, then all the way over to Finland- or an adjacent. Sheâd be safe, the only two drivers who would be in the same continent as her would be the two actual Australian drivers- Liam in New Zealand if he counted in the f1 drivers realm.
So she took the few weeks she had off of work- which wasnât ever really solid as it seemed her career was all over the place, she took those solid-off holiday weeks to venture out to familiarise herself better with Australia. Sydney- she knew well, Brisbane maybe even more so. Melbourne the most due to attending the grand prix there every year for the past 6 seasons. But in all her time spent in Australia, sheâd never truly gotten around to exploring Western Australia.
So she did what any right minded person visiting Perth who had connections to F1 would do- she reached out to Daniel and asked for any recommendations for her holiday. But instead of simply giving her a list of places to eat, shops to visit, sights to see, he straight up invites her to spend a week at his farm.
Yep, Daniel Ricciardo, farm owner.
Obviously, she accepted the invitation due to lack of other plans and pure interest about what a f1 driver of over a decade could possibly need a farm for. So the next day, her legs awkwardly cramped up in between her suitcase and the back of the passenger seat in the taxi. Her fingers idly drummed against the window as sparse pellets of rain hit against it. The sun blared down through the glass despite the rain- clearly a perth summer was no joke when it came to heat.
The timing of the car finally slowing down just in front of Danielâs farm/house/home situation perfectly aligned for when her phone died. Manoeuvring her feet out of the tight squeeze where her suitcase was crushing her legs was her first problem, actually picking it up to carry out of the car was a whole different one. Once again, luckily for her Daniel was standing at the door, his signature grin lighting up his face.Â
After a tight hug and a quick exchange of the past few months they hadnât seen each other for (the time post SIngapore), he picked up her suitcase with ease and lugged it inside. The inside of his house was nice, beautiful even. That was expected for a millionaire- but it wasnât the typical too much money, not enough actual taste , it was classy and elegant, while maintaining a certain homely charm.
âThis is beautiful, Dan,â She murmured, shaking her head back as she gathered her hair into a ponytail. He barked out a laugh as he kicked off his shoes, 2 scuff marks on the ground ruining the otherwise picturesque place.Â
âThank you,â He grinned, âI try my best- or more so Heidi does,â Ah, that made more sense. Not that Daniel didnât seem capable of designing a nice place, but the fact that it was actually his girlfriend made a whole lot more sense.Â
Nudging her shoes off and over to join next to his, she gently stretched out her limp to relieve the formed tension in her back, âHeidi does a fantastic job then,â Her eyes travelled around the living room, taking in each piece of wall art and decorative choice.
Danielâs dirtied socks glided smoothly along the marble floors, âCan I get you a drink?â He hummed, one hand on the kitchen island to steady himself as the other opened the fridge door. He grabbed out a beer can for himself and so out of pure convenience and not wanting to seem âfussyâ, she asked for the same.
The harsh, bitter taste of beer abused her throat, an unpleasant and unwelcome decision at only 3 in the afternoon. On the other hand, getting her first drink down then meant that as the night progressed further, and drinks got heavier- sheâd be somewhat prepared from such a light percentage drink.Â
The rest of the evening was spent outside on the balcony, sipping beer and discussing the end of the season- how it had felt to get back to racing for him since the last race sheâd actually seen in person was in Singapore where heâd been replaced with Liam.Â
They spoke briefly about Liam at that, Max too- mainly his dominance that season, partially about him as a person in general. They moved to speaking about Oscarâs rookie year, and then unsurprisingly, the topic landed onto Lando.
Finally, in the last hour before midnight, with her legs tucked up to her chest, she looked to her left where Daniel was in a rocking chair next to her. âI hooked up with Lando in Singapore,â She murmured, her index nail scraping along the condensation lined glass where only the last few drops of her whiskey-coke remained. âWe hooked up and then I just left him there,â Danielâs eyebrows shot up, his lips parting in shock.
âI knew that,â He eventually exhaled, his words completely different from his surprised reaction. âLN told me pretty much the day after it happened, and for the following weeks too,â Shit, that felt awful to hear. Part of her had wished that Lando had magically stopped caring the day after it had happened- she wanted it to be easy on him unlike how it was for her. It was her decision to have left, he shouldnât have to continue to feel so deeply affected.
The wrinkles in the corners of her eyes deepened as she looked down, a comical laugh escaping her lips. âWhyâd you react like that then?â Her lips feel cold as her throat remains hot from the intense burn of the vodka shots theyâd stupidly taken a few hours prior. âYou looked.. shocked,â
âI was,â He admitted, downing the last of his drink before resting it on the corner of his armrest, the corner of the glass hitting the wood with a clink. â I am , Iâm shocked youâre actually admitting you just abandoned the bloke after a night together. He thought you would never mention it again- never speak to him again,â
The edge of passive aggression in his voice is noticeable even to the most clueless people. It made her squirm in her seat, the palms of her hands get sweaty, and a bitter taste filled her mouth. Daniel wasnât the type to ever get mad with anyone, or even be any bit confrontational, so the way he was speaking to her seemed so out of Ricciardo fashion.
âI know,â Her voice was barely a low hum, self disappointment pulsing through her body. âIâve felt like shit ever since- if that means anything,â When her eyes lifted off the wood panel of the balcony fence and towards Daniel, he was looking far out towards the night sky.Â
His gaze met hers though, his bottom lip grazing under his teeth. It was strange seeing him that serious. âDoesnât really mean too much to me, I think Lando needs to hear that,â Yeah��, apologising to Daniel wasnât going to do much was it? Lando was the one sheâd left.
âHe actually cares?â Her voice came out more surprised and untrusting than sheâd expected. The scrunch of his eyebrows and twist of his lips in confusion gets her to keep talking. âYeah, like.. I guess I just assumed it would be just like any other hook up for him,â Her hand carded through her hair, pushing it off her forehead.Â
âHe cares more than anything,â Daniel murmured, a slight laugh attached to his voice. He wasnât mad at her at all, fully understanding her scepticism about how real the younger driverâs feelings were. âI know he doesnât seem as if he cares about each girl he gets with- but he cares about you,â Their eyes meet in a sort of sad and poetic way.Â
Daniel knows better than anyone the way she feels toward Lando, how sheâs felt towards the Brit for years. Up until that night in Singapore, sheâd waited for the day she could look at her best friend and not feel the most excruciating twisting in her stomach and cracking of her heart because he was the one thing she wanted, and the one thing she couldnât have.
âIn Vegas when he crashed, he asked for you,â The Aussie's voice had lost its humour, any sense of fun from earlier in the night having fully faded away. âSo many times. He was hysterical, couldnât understand why you werenât there to hold his hand,âÂ
Holy fucking shit. She wanted to cry, a tightening sensation formed in her throat, becoming painful to swallow. âI shouldâve been there,â She bit down on the inside of her cheek, the sharp metallic taste of blood spilling onto her tongue. âI fucking shouldâve reached out when I heard,âÂ
He squeezed her hand tightly, his thumb squishing her hand up to reach the tips of his index and middle. âYou had no way to know, you werenât expected to be there either. You have your own life, Lando needs to know that,â She canât shake it from her head though. âYouâre not in the wrong, you donât owe him to be there whenever he needs comfort. I think he just needs to know youâre not angry at him,â
Angry? Why on earth would she be angry? Lando hadnât done a single thing wrong to her, she did owe it to him to be there when he crashed, when he was scared and alone. âYes I do,â Her eyebrows drew to a pinch, a look of frustration clouding over her vulnerable near crying expression.
â You donâtâ
I do, Daniel. You donât get it. I left him, I left him there alone straight after-
âHe told me he loved me,âÂ
That got a genuine look of shock from the Australian. âShit. I didnât know that,â His voice got breathy and harsh around the edges.Â
âYeah.â
âDo you love him back?â
âYeah.â
His hand left hers, moving to rub over his face. âJesus,â It was so quiet between them that the noise of the near midnight light breeze was louder than either of them. âDoes he know that?â
The muscles in her neck tensed with a deep swallow of the spit gathering in her mouth. Gross. âNo. I donât think he knows I heard him either,â Sheâd never felt more shameful. Her mind had been so fuzzy with alcohol and lust that it had just been too much. âI didnât think he was serious. I didnât think he could seriously love me,â
God, she needed to shut up before she began bawling her eyes out to Daniel.
âWhy not?â She didnât quite know how to answer his question. There were probably a million and one things she could give as half arsed replies to why she didnât believe she and Lando should be together. The distance, constant travelling, lack of affection and physical ties. But Daniel could see right through her, he could see her lies.
âIâm just nothing like the girls heâs been with before. I didnât- I donât understand why when he could have absolutely anyone in the world, heâd want me,â She corrected herself, feeling far more vulnerable then sheâd ever allowed herself to be in front of anyone before.
Theyâre no longer looking at each other, both too focused at staring up at the stars above them. âYou make him feel safe. Youâre the only one heâs always felt like a real person around. Heâs not a race car driver with you, heâs not famous with you, he doesnât have to perform and impress you, to you- heâs Lando, heâs your best friend. And to him, youâre home,âÂ
Itâs difficult to form a single thought after that. So after the conversation pulled to a complete close, they both agreed it was late and they needed their rest. With a suffocating hug and reassurances that sheâll be okay, they parted ways- Daniel into his own room and her into the spare bedroom. His snores seeped into her room, yet they werenât what kept her from sleeping.Â
Lando was.Â
She swore she could hear him everywhere, even smell him. She wanted him laying down right next to her, his arms around her waist as she slept with her head on his chest. He was the only thing that could calm her down, make her mind shut up for a bit so she could just rest.
Her head had begun pounding and her mouth became infinitely dry from the excessive drinking, so with a struggle to stand up straight, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and her clammy hands gripped onto the handrails as she took each step one by one.Â
Passing through the kitchen, she grabbed a glass out of a cabinet and poured a glass of cold water. She chugged it down eagerly, getting a refill before heading into the living room to sit on the couch and drink the rest. As the couch became visible to her poor sight, she saw a figure sitting at the end further away from her. A mop of curly hair was on top of the figureâs head-Â Daniel.Â
Clearly heâd been unable to sleep like she had. Maybe he felt lonely too. Heidi was back in Portugal over the winter break, so he hadnât seen her in a few weeks. He was probably in a similar boat as her right now.
She felt so empty after the past few weeks, and the hug sheâd gotten from him only a few hours hadnât quite been enough, so she set her glass down and stepped closer. The noise of her glass hitting the table grabbed the shadowed figure of Danielâs attention, his head turning to face her. âDaniel,â She mumbled weakly, sprawling onto the couch next to where he was sitting and wrapped her arms loosely around him.
When he didnât hug her back, she whined and dug her head into his chest. âPlease Dan, I need a hug,â Her voice sounded so desperate as it hit her ears. âI just.. I want my brain to shut up for once, I- Iâm just so tired,âÂ
âIâm not Daniel,â Her heart pounded in absolute panic. Her chest rose and dropped quickly as she attempted to think of all the possible explanations. This couldnât be real, this couldnât be an intruder. God, how had she been so stupid as to not switch on a light or anything before practically hurdling herself at this guy? If she died right now, it was all on her for being a thoughtless idiot.Â
But in a moment of clarity where her mind considered who could possibly be at the house that wasnât an intruder, she scanned through each person Daniel knew with curly hair and a British accent. Lewis? Didn't have curly hair. George? Also without curly hair. Ollie? Too young for Daniel to be friends with.Â
Oh.Â
âLando?â A sharp exhale left her mouth as his name slipped out. She twisted her head to look up at him, his features only slightly visible in the near pitch black room. Sure enough, big green eyes and plump pink lips stood out to her. Her face crumpled, her heart thrumming in her chest. â Landoâ
He clearly had recognised her too, his lips parting as his expression softened. His eyes felt like a million knives jabbing into her, his intense stare mapping out her whole face. The smell of his cologne was harsh on her senses, yet was the most comfort sheâd had in months.
âWhy are you here?â Her tone sounded accusatory, which clearly wasnât intentional. The comment landed poorly, his expression contorting strangely. Not helpful .Â
âSpontaneous Australia trip,â He didnât owe her an apology, but something was nagging at him to stay, to engage in the conversation. It was the most heâd seen of her in nearly 4 months. He couldnât even begin to express how good it felt to hear her voice after so long. âCame to visit Dan, maybe Osc next. Dan always tells me if Iâm ever in the country I can just come over.. soâ He trailed off when she didnât reply, and his mouth clamped back shut.
Just as it seemed he would get up and leave, his actions tense and rigid around her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Quiet. Her mind finally went quiet. It was so peaceful for once. âIâm so sorry for everything,â Her voice was hardly a whisper, her mouth slightly muffled by the thick fabric of his hoodie. âIâm sorry for leaving, Iâm sorry for not contacting you, Iâm sorry for ignoring you when you tried to call,â Her breaths became more frantic, tears piling up in her eyes as she looked up at him.
âIâm sorry for- for hurting you, Iâm sorry for not being there when you needed me,â Her mouth and lips were so painfully dry, her tongue darted out to wet her lips before forcing out the final apology. Just as she was about to, his mouth opened as if he was about to talk. âDonât say itâs okay,âÂ
She knew him well enough to know exactly where he was going. He would apologise for absolutely everything that had ever happened to him, even if he wasnât the one in the wrong. âMost of all,â Her throat tensed as he stared her down intensely. âIâm sorry I didnât tell you I loved you back.âÂ
His lips shaped into a huge smile after a few seconds of emotionless shock, as if the news was the most impossible thing heâd ever heard.
âAnd you shouldnât forgive me,â She shook her head insistently. That was another thing hse knew about him, he was the most forgiving person ever. She could absolutely ruin his life a million times and with a single â Iâm sorryâ , theyâd return back to being best friends.Â
âBut-â
âYou canât,â Not only did she not believe she deserved his love, she didnât believe she deserved any sort of forgiveness from him, much less for him to still love her after all this. All she wanted was for him to not have any hurt from the whole ordeal anymore.Â
Lando tilted his head, his bottom lip tucked under his adorably gapped teeth. âYou donât get to decide that for me,â His eyes seemed impossibly bright despite the darkness, âCause I want to love you, and it seems as if you love me too,â His right hand cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing over her chin.
That was correct, she still loved him more than anything. She could fight those feelings away, give him all the excuses under the sun as to why she wouldnât be with him- but her heart and mind wanted different things. Logically, dating a formula one driver whoâs whole life revolved around travel and constant adrenaline- her life that consisted of a lot of mundane jobs and chilling at home, they just clashed .
The illogical part of her, the part that was thinking with her heart, believed that nothing would be better than to attend races, watch from the grandstands, and kiss him after each race. She could comfort him if he had a bad race or quali, she could be there to celebrate with after a podium or even a win.Â
Right now, and maybe always, what her heart wanted was significantly outweighing what she thought was good for her. âYeah, I do love you,â It didnât feel or sound weird like it had when sheâd told Daniel about it the night before. It felt good, really good. Very right too, because in all of her years of friendship with Lando- ever since sheâd realised her feelings for him- she hadnât ever admitted to herself that she loved him.Â
But of course she did, it was clear as day. If she ever heard of anyone âlikingâ someone the way she âlikedâ Lando, sheâd know immediately it was love.
Her confession felt even better when she saw how his face managed to light up even further.Â
There was more she couldâve apologised for, and she could easily keep going, but she was quickly shut up with two lips pressed up against her own. Lando tasted just as sweet as he always did, a tinge of mint presumably from gum earlier on.Â
Her lips didnât adjust into the kiss at first, until he began to pull back and her lips secured over his bottom one, keeping him there. It took a few moments to warm up to it, but her mouth starts moving in time with his. Itâs so quiet in the living room that the only noise is the quiet hums and sighs they both let out. âIâm really sorry,â She murmured again
His hands moved to position her body to be straddling him, not necessarily to make the kiss sexual, but to make the angle more comfortable. âI forgive you,â His teeth tug on her bottom lip, drawing out the kiss for longer. He grinned against her lips, kissing her softer over and over. âAnd I love you,â He murmured again. âSo- please- stop- apologising,â He kissed her in between each word, trying to push forward his point.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, âOkay,â Her cheeks felt hot to the touch, painted a darker shade of rosy red with each kiss. âSorry,â
Lando groaned, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her in for more kisses. âFor each time you apologise, Iâm gonna shut you up with kisses,â He threatened, nudging her cheek with his nose.
âSorry, but Iâm gonna keep saying sorry then. Sorry, sorry, sorryâ He kept his promise, kissing her after each and every apology. âMmm, yeah. Sorry,â Her fingers slid into place in his mess of curls, tugging gently to keep him in place for each kiss.Â
âBad idea.â He clicked his tongue, tilting his head to avoid her kisses. âNo kisses till you stop saying it,â
That worked.Â
âOkay, Iâll stop. I promise,â She held out her pinky finger to further the promise. He kissed the tip of her finger and then held it tight.Â
âGood,â
âGood,â
â Good ,â His lips slotted back into place with hers, his hands resting on her hips as hers tangled further into his hair. âYouâre so pretty,â He hummed, licking into her mouth with slow and calculated moves.
âHmm, youâre prettier,â Her whole body felt hot, but so cosy on top of him. She hadnât quite realised how tired she was until that very moment, her words slightly slurred and her eyes heavy. She rubbed at her eyes, blinking away exhaustion.
He shifted underneath her, tucking his hands under her thighs to help wrap her legs around his waist. âArms around my neck,â He whispered, intentionally keeping his volume to a minimum so as to not wake her up more.Â
Her body felt limp as she rested all her weight onto him. He lugged her upstairs, opening the door with one hand as his other arm remained around her waist. âLannnn,â She whined as she pressed more kisses to his neck.Â
âYeah baby?â He murmured as he laid her down on the bed, her body heavy and weak as it hit the mattress. âWhatâs up?â Her arms dropped down to her sides as they unlinked from around his neck.
âStay,â It wasnât a suggestion or question, more an incredulously desperate request. âPlease, want you to stay,â She tugged at the hem of his shirt, wrapping it around her fingers.
He gave her a knowing look before nudging her over in the bed, crawling under the sheets next to her. âYouâre not going to walk out this time?â He raised his eyebrows, his teeth poking out over his bottom lip when he grinned.
âIâm gonna say it,â
âDonâtâ His voice went serious.
âIâm gonna say it,â
âDo.. not.. say.. It,â
â..Sorry,â
Lando let out a long groan, hauling himself half on top of her to smother her with his arms. âYou are such a pain in my ass,âÂ
âYou love me,â She pecked him, fighting back sleep just so she could keep kissing him
âI do love you,â He caved and removed his arms, placing them on either side of her face to corner her and kiss all over her flushed face.
âI love you more,âÂ
âNot possible,â He tutted, âAnd you need to sleep- now,â He nuzzled into her neck, his nose bumping against her ear.Â
âI just wanna stay up kissing,â She scrunched her nose up, her lip raising in disappointment.Â
Landoâs laugh was breathy against her skin, his hand idly swiping across her stomach to maintain some sort of touch. âTomorrow. Weâll spend all of tomorrow kissing- I promise,â
That was satisfactory enough. She stared up at the ceiling, a complete different scenario from when sheâd done exactly this last time with Lando laying on her. This time, there wasnât a single cloud of doubt in her mind. She knew how much he loved her, she felt right being so close to him, not worried for how things might change between them and if it would be awful the day after. She just needed to keep faith and keep communication.
As she felt her eyelids getting too heavy to keep hers open, she swiped her hand over Landoâs forehead to push his hair up and place a kiss there. He looked up at her slightly, and with a smile, âOscar lives in Melbourne,â He looked confused, probably thinking that he was mishearing her from lack of rest. âHuh?â His voice all deep and scruffy from sleep.Â
âThe flight from Perth to Melbourne is over 3 hours- you canât really just pop down the street to go visit Oscar,â Lando laughed weakly at that. He shrugged, wiggling up closer towards her so his chin was over her shoulder.
âHeâll come visit- heâll be ecstatic to know that weâre on good terms again,â Her hand drifted up under his shirt, her thumbs pressing into the joints of his back.
âOscar and ecstatic are two words that absolutely do not go together,â She mused, a complete disconnect from her mind and whatever her hand was doing. All she knew was that Lando was enjoying it based on the noises he was letting out.
âA half smile may dance across his mouth at the joyous information,â God , Lando had such a strange way with words.Â
âYouâre weird ,âÂ
âYou love me,â
âI really do,â
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the ebb and flow of fate
Cazriel x f!Reader (Morâs sister)
(part two) (part three) (part four) (part five) (epilogue)
Summary: âDid you piss her off?â He leaned back, mouth curving into a smirk. The smirk quickly disappeared when Rhys explained what happened.Â
âTell her she can come on her own feet, or over my shoulder.âÂ
Word Count: ~6.2k
Warnings: eventual smut in later chapters, sexual assault, harassment, stalking, nightmares, light smut-ish (m/m, briefly described), light angst, liberal use of bargains, minors dni!
A/N: this was written for day 20 of my kink/angst-tober prompts but, my patience is limited and I needed to get this out of into the world and out of my brain for a bit. part 2 will be posted 10/20.
Something in her had been ⌠off, ever since she visited a friend in the Autumn Court. Of course, they had all heavily protested her choice, but sheâd been a friend of hers for years, and she firmly held her ground - insisting everything would be fine and that they didnât know of her relation to them.Â
It was driving all of them to the verge of insanity trying to figure out exactly what happened. Rhys gently probed against her mind once, and was immediately shut out - the walls going up like impenetrable iron gates, and a litany of creative curses were shouted down the hall.Â
-
âHow was your visit?â Mor asked hesitantly. She was curled up in an armchair, eyes quickly scanning the page, a full plate of food - likely a few hours old, still on the table beside her.Â
âFine.â Y/n replied, not looking up. The same answer sheâd given everyone all week.Â
âAny more details?â She probed.Â
She slammed the book shut, looking up at her. âWhat else do you want me to say?â Her voice was low, and she could tell her anger was rising to dangerous levels. Maybe it would be worth provoking y/nâs temper, if only to get some kind of reaction out of her.Â
âYou wonât eat, you wonât talk to us, and youâre walking around like a gods-damned ghost.âÂ
She plucked a grape from the plate next to it, popping it in her mouth with an indignant look on her face. âBetter?â Gods, she was going to kill her - sister or not.Â
âI want you to tell me what the fuck happened before Rhys and I storm over there and kill someone.â Mor spat, rising to her feet. Y/n rose with her, throwing the blanket off, fists clenched at her side.Â
âThatâs not necessary.âÂ
âYou can tell us anything, you know that right?â She tried to keep her voice gentle, soft even.
âIâm aware,â she snipped, âbut that doesnât mean itâs any of your business.âÂ
âFor Cauldronâs sake.â She ran a hand through her hair, squeezing her eyes shut before leaving the room - in case she said or did anything she regretted.Â
âAny luck?â Rhys asked from the end of the hallway.Â
âDonât act like you werenât eavesdropping.âÂ
He grimaced, but turned to stride with her. âItâs been three days.â He said quietly, âCassian and Azriel will be back tomorrow.âÂ
If anyone can get answers out of her, it would be those two. Even Amren couldnât reach her.Â
-
âWhereâs y/n?â Cassian asked the next day. Mor looked to Rhys with a grimace. A shadow curled around Azrielâs ear.Â
âIn her room probably.â Mor replied. The same place sheâd spent most of her time in.Â
âDid you piss her off?â He leaned back, mouth curving into a smirk. The smirk quickly disappeared when Rhys explained what happened.Â
âTell her she can come on her own feet, or over my shoulder.âÂ
He relayed the message, and they all heard the sound of something slamming - along with a wince from Rhys. Mor figured sheâd likely shouted something into his mind. Two minutes passed, and nothing. Cassian glanced at Azriel, and the two Illyrians rose - heading down the hall. Â
âGood luck.â Mor muttered behind them and Rhys snorted.Â
-
âWhatâs wrong with you?â Cassianâs voice echoed through the room as her door swung open - hitting the wall hard enough there might be a small dent.Â
âNothing.â She muttered, turning over in her bed and tugging the blankets closer to her. Azriel exchanged a look with him.Â
âGet up.â Cassian barked.Â
âFuck off.âÂ
âNot happening princess.â He strode towards the side of the bed, ripping the blanket back. He was greeted by a book careening towards his face, one he deflected with a shield. âYou can do better than that.â He tugged the pillow out from under her and she shot up to sit. His stance widened, feet braced on the floor - prepared for a fight.Â
âLeave. Me. Alone.â Y/n said through gritted teeth.Â
Cassian hummed, tilting his head as if he was debating it. âNo.âÂ
âOn your feet or over his shoulder, your choice.â Azriel said from behind him. His voice was flat and smooth. Another book launched - where the hell had it come from? And Cassian let it fly over his head, knowing exactly who it was aimed for. A low snarl came from the corner of the room, and Azriel strode up to stand next to him, forming a wall. Y/n, of course, didnât look intimidated and no fear came from her - but he did see caution in her eyes.Â
âYouâre a brat.â The shadowsinger commented, with a tilt of his head. A predator assessing her, waiting for her next move.Â
She sent him a vulgar gesture, and apparently Azriel was fed up because quicker than she could react, he had her slung over his shoulder, stalking out her door with a shield covering his wings.Â
Smart, he thought as he followed, he didnât doubt y/n would use that to her advantage. Sheâs done it before, raking her nails up his wings and nearly getting herself killed.Â
He deposited her at the table, shoving her down into the seat next to him before pushing it in. Cassian took up vigil on her other side. If he thought she was angry before, she was absolutely fuming now - sending both him and Azriel a look that promised a slow, slow death. He rolled his eyes, heâd been on the receiving ends of that look frequently, and it didnât phase him.Â
âI thought it was over your shoulder.â Rhysâs voice flooded into his mind.Â
âAzriel took care of it.âÂ
âObviously. Did she throw anything at you?âÂ
âYes.â A strained chuckle came from Rhys, and he felt his presence leave.Â
She sat there, taking small sips of water and avoiding eye contact from anyone.Â
Cassian let out a low groan before filling her plate with food.Â
Mor and Rhys exchanged a glance, their eyes glazing over slightly. âWe have things to take care of,â Mor gave an awkward excuse and they both rose. Leaving them to the wolves, then. Wolf - actually.Â
âDonât make me feed you like a child.â Azriel told her when the two were out of earshot.Â
âYou wouldnât,â y/n countered, but didnât sound confident. Azriel reached for her fork, and she snatched it away from him, spearing a piece of food instead and slowly raising it to her mouth.Â
âAre you going to tell us what happened?â Cassian asked her.Â
She ignored the question, choosing to eat small bites of food instead.Â
âOr I can go find out for myself,â Azriel offered.Â
âNo,â she said too quickly. âDonât.âÂ
-
She was confident Azriel would go find out what happened, and thatâs not what she wanted. Regardless of whether he heard it from her or figured it out himself, it wouldnât go over well. But, if they were here when they did learn thereâs a better chance of her de-escalating the situation.Â
âIâm not ready to talk about it.â Her hand shook, palms going clammy. She saw them exchange a worried look out of her peripherals and for some reason it incensed her further. Sheâd had enough of people worrying. Well, she fully knew sheâd been acting like a âbratâ as Az would say for the last few days. But, in her defense they were all busy-bodies who couldnât mind their own damn business.Â
âWhen will you be?â Cassian sounded ⌠gentle, almost. Like she was some breakable doll. She firmly placed a lid down on her anger, shoving it away.Â
âIâll let you know.âÂ
âYou have until tomorrow night.â Azriel cut in. With a low and obnoxious groan, she slumped in her seat. âFinish your food,â he directed. A particularly nasty look was shot his way, but she relented.Â
Thereâs not a doubt in her mind that heâd make her eat if she refused. The two of them were overbearing and annoying, but meant well. Y/n knew Rhys had sent them in, considering his, Morâs and even Amrenâs attempts had all failed.Â
âI thought youâd be happier to see us,â Cassian teased, nudging his shoulder with hers. âItâs been two weeks.âÂ
âI am happy to see you,â she mumbled. Itâs the truth, she was glad to see him, and if sheâd actually known they were back she probably wouldâve left to at least check theyâre in one piece.Â
As soon as sheâd cleared her plate, Cassian looped his arm in between hers - not giving her a chance to go anywhere. âWeâre training.âÂ
âI just ate.â She protested, but it didnât work. Azriel trailed them outside, hopefully to make sure Cassian didnât end up working her to the point she threw up.Â
-
She realized the mistake exactly as it happened, both arms raising for a block - and her shirt lifting as well. Revealing two yellowing hand print shaped bruises on her waist. She forced her expression to remain still, to not react, and hoped they hadnât noticed. But, Cassian stilled. Eyes focused on where her shirt now covered her stomach. Y/n couldâve taken the opportunity to strike him, but didnât.Â
âWhere are those from?â He asked her, and she could tell he was struggling to keep his voice even. Theyâd caught Azrielâs attention as well, from where he was standing a few paces away from the ring. Based on the predatory look of rage in his eyes, heâd seen everything.Â
âNone of -â
âDonât.â The general cut in shortly.Â
âItâs fine.â She insisted, going on the defensive.Â
âIs that ⌠part of what has you upset?â His throat bobbed, and she could tell he was trying very hard to keep himself calm. Y/n turned and ducked out of the ring, returning her sword to the rack. There was no use in lying to them, they both always knew when she was. And when she badgered them for her tells, they refused. So, she took a deep breath and prepared herself to deal with the fall out.Â
âYes. I took care of it already.â Her voice shook with each word.Â
âWhat happened?â Azriel asked mildly.Â
She pinched the bridge of her nose, and tilted her head back to look at the sky. She couldnât look at them now, and didn't want to. Didnât want the two of them to see her break down. Instead, she focused on the stars above her as the story spilled out. One of her friends' brothers had cornered her. She was in her early-twenties, and had never been interested in anyone. Not in that way. When the ⌠opportunity came up she went along with it for a minute - even flirted harmlessly with him, but when he pressed and tried to push her for more, tried to get her to kiss him, and when he refused âŚÂ
âThatâs when,â she waved her hand down her stomach, âthat happened. I told him to stop but he wouldnât,â she couldnât keep the tears from her eyes as the story kept spilling out, of how he grabbed her breast, tried to stick his hand between her legs.Â
âAnd he called me a frigid bitch after I kneed him in the balls.â She finished weakly, forcing a laugh. The two of them had gone incredibly still, and she felt the tears drip from her cheeks onto her shirt. âI took care of it.â She insisted.Â
The âtaking care of itâ worked for a day. Until he came back, thinking she was just playing with him - that she liked the âplaying hard to get.â The worst was her friend justifying it, when she brought it up to her.Â
âWell,â she hesitated, biting on her bottom lip. âYou did flirt with him, howâs he supposed to know?âÂ
âI told him to stop.â Y/n insisted.
âJust try telling him again.â She sighed. âI donât want to get in a fight with him.â She told him, again, over the next three days.Â
âThereâs more.â Azriel said. Gods, he always knew - even if she was just omitting something. âAll of it. I need to hear all of it.âÂ
âI donât want to talk about it.â She yelled, the anger sheâd kept a firm lid on spilling out as tears ran down her face. âI donât want to think about it, I want it to be over.âÂ
Cassian strode towards her, wrapping her in his arms and bringing her close to his chest, rubbing her back and holding her through her sobs. Cool shadows swirled around her neck and shoulders, and she recognized Azrielâs way of comforting her.Â
âIâm sorry.â She murmured, face still pressed into his chest.Â
âNone of that,â he replied, running a hand through her hair. âYou have nothing to be sorry for.âÂ
She snorted, pushing back against him. âYouâre growing soft.âÂ
âJust for you,â he grinned but the smile didnât reach his eyes.Â
Y/n yelped as she was gently tugged away from him, instead bundled into Azrielâs arms, his fingers running through her hair and shadows still curling around her. Probably reporting her expressions even as he couldnât see her face. âCan you tell me now?âÂ
She exhaled slowly. She wouldnât get out of this, so she might as well tell him. âHe just didnât know how to take the hint. He thought I was playing with him.â Azriel tensed underneath her, and she scented the pure rage coming from both of the Illyrians and knew if she didnât say anything else someone in the Autumn court would find their immortal life cut short. âI told him if he didnât stop I would stab him.âÂ
âGood girl.â He murmured, but didnât release her - instead holding her tight as if she might disappear at any moment.Â
âDonât -,â she took in a breath, âdonât tell anyone else.â She pushed back, tilting her head to see his expression. He looked troubled by it and glancing over to Cassian told her heâs feeling the same way. âPlease.âÂ
They looked at each other, as if they were communicating something silently, and nerves hit her - crawling under her skin and swirling in her stomach. She took another step back, forcing Azrielâs arms to hang back by his sides.Â
âWeâll make a deal, with a few conditions.â Cassian said, and strode closer to her, standing next to Azriel to make a wall formed of pure arrogance. She groaned internally. âIf you donât agree. Weâll tell him.âÂ
She crossed her arms, pressing her lips together. âWhat are they?âÂ
âFirstly, theyâre non negotiable.â He waited for her nod before continuing. âYou donât visit them again. If you want to see her, she comes here.âÂ
âIâd have to go through Rhys for that.â He gave her a look, as if to say - âthatâs your problem,â and she rolled her eyes.Â
âSecond. No more hiding.âÂ
âI wasnât -âÂ
âYes you were.â Azriel cut in, raising an eyebrow at her glare. âRhys told us.âÂ
âHe needs to learn to mind his business.â She muttered and Cassian snorted.Â
âIf he didnât tell us, we wouldâve figured it out. You donât miss meals.âÂ
âI could have just wanted to eat in private.âÂ
âFor three days in a row?â He crossed his arms.Â
âMind your damn business.âÂ
âEnough.â Azriel cut off the quickly budding argument between the two of them. Heâs always been the mediator between the two of them - both âblessedâ with quick tempers.Â
She wheeled on him instead. âAnd you have to promise not to tell him.â She needed to be very clear on that, otherwise he would take the loophole and exploit it. He looked conflicted, but ended up promising - unless it somehow escalates, but considering sheâll never see him again - she doubts it will.
âIs that everything?âÂ
âOne more. Anyone does that to you again, you tell us.âÂ
âAs long as you donât tell anyone else without my permission permission.â They exchanged another look, and both nodded. She stared at them for a few seconds. âItâs a bargain.âÂ
She fought her smile as she was on the receiving end of twin glares. Apparently they hadnât intended for it to go that far, but now she knew their word was good.Â
âBrat.â Cassian muttered, but started searching for the tattoo.Â
She shoved up her sleeves. Nothing on her arms. But, felt a tiny prick on chest, and strode towards the mirror, adjusting her shirt to see. Some kind of constellation was etched into her skin, spreading across her collarbones in a pattern she didnât recognize. Azriel and Cassian had matching ones - it took them a minute to figure it out, especially with their leathers in the way, but small dots were interwoven with the tattoos already lining their chests.Â
âItâs ⌠feminine.â Cassian commented.Â
âNothing wrong with that,â she raised a brow at him.Â
âNothing wrong with it.â He quickly agreed.Â
âI think theyâre pretty,â she teased, poking his chest.Â
-
âDid you figure it out?â Rhys asked later as the three of them met in his office.Â
Cassianâs hand ran down his face. âWe did.âÂ
âAnd what is it?âÂ
âWe canât tell you.â Azriel replied through gritted teeth.Â
Rhys paused for a moment, before raising his brows. âYou let her trick you into a bargain? I thought you wouldâve known better.â Both of them bristled. Ever since y/n figured out what a bargain was, she managed to word things carefully enough theyâd get wrapped into them. Rhys still remembers the first time he met her, back when she was a youngling and before they managed to get her out of the Court of Nightmares.Â
âMor said you could fly,â she whispered - low enough nobody else could hear. She looked up and saw the hesitant look on his face. âI can keep a secret.â She grinned. He gave her a quick nod.Â
He saw her again, a year later - now seven years old. âCould you take me flying?â He gave a subtle shake of his head, but every time she saw him she would ask, and eventually he caved.Â
âIâll make a deal with you, you stop asking - and Iâll take you flyingâÂ
âItâs a bargain.â She whispered, and Rhys winced as a small band appeared around his upper arm, a matching one on her. Thatâs not supposed to happen ⌠she shouldnât be able to make those without both parties expliciting saying it.Â
They snuck her out the next day and took her, if only to keep anyone else from noticing the thin tattoo around her upper arm. He still remembered Mor half-heartedly lecturing her about the danger of making bargains - and not to go doing it with strangers.Â
Another idea popped into his head. âDid she say you canât show me?âÂ
Cassian winced. âI donât-,â he turned to give Azriel a sharp look, âwe donât want to betray her trust. But itâs taken care of.âÂ
Rhys nodded. Heâd have to wiggle it out of her himself then, even if thatâs nearly impossible. Besides, if the two of them break her trust like that, and she finds out ⌠that would be a fight he doesnât want to be anywhere near.Â
-
Mor promised to get her out of Hewn City, whenever she needed to. Y/n was eighteen when she left, when she moved to Velaris, met Cassian, Azriel, Amren, and started making friends in the city. She shouldâve known any âfriendsâ she met living there ⌠Y/n cut off that line of thinking, reminding herself itâs not her fault, in any way. But, her mind still swirls with all of the ways she possibly could have prevented it, or the different things she could have done. For gods sake, sheâs told others countless times that itâs not their fault, and theyâre in no way responsible for others actions, but she still gets caught in that spider web, in the dangerous abyss of her own thoughts caving in on her.Â
âWhereâd you go?â Rhys interrupts her and she blinks heavily.Â
âHere and there.â She mutters, pushing some food around on her plate.Â
âAnything you want to talk about?â Him and Mor have stopped questioning her as frequently, but still try to put subtle feelers out to see if she will respond, or open up to them.Â
The words blurt out before she can think twice about them. âCan I speak with the priestesses again?âÂ
His entire body tenses, his shoulders tightening and eyes darkening. Sheâd just given him a very clear idea of what happened while she was away.
-
The priestesses. He can only think of a few reasons why sheâd want to speak with them. It could be related to her past, but more likely to some recent events. Barely, he manages to keep his composure.Â
âIâll ask them.â His voice is short and he watches her worry her bottom lip.Â
âPlease donât do-âÂ
âAnything rash?â He raises a brow, forcing a cool and neutral tone.Â
âI took care of it.â She insisted. Similar to what Azriel and Cassian said.Â
âWill you ever tell me? Or Mor? Sheâs worried sick.â Rhys knew it was a low blow, even as he said it.Â
âIâm tired of ⌠Iâm tired of talking about it.âÂ
He wondered why sheâd want to go to the priestesses, why sheâd want to speak with them if sheâs already sick of talking. But then again, heâs heard that sometimes they go into their offices just to cry or scream. Either way, heâs not going to deny her the chance, or that request. He knows without a doubt that theyâll agree to see her. They all love her there, and she spends a lot of her time studying in the archives. Technically thatâs her official position in his court - to research, her mind is her greatest weapon.Â
âWhy donât you ask them yourself?âÂ
âI wanted to make you feel useful.â He rolled his eyes, leaning over to flick her nose. She dodged it, swatting his hand away. âBut if youâre going to complain I can ask them myself.ââ
âAsking who?â Mor swept into the room, her eyes glimmering with curiosity. Rhys took that as his cue to leave, before he got caught into anything between the two sisters.Â
-
Y/n mouthed âtraitorâ at Rhysâs retreating figure, when Mor wasnât looking.Â
âIâm going to ask if I can speak with the priestesses again.âÂ
âOh.â She paused, before sitting down on the couch next to her, stretching her legs out in front. âAnyone in particular?âÂ
She exhaled in relief, something Mor noticed but didnât comment on.Â
âNot Merrill.â Y/n muttered, drawing a laugh out of Mor.Â
âMerrill has a good heart.âÂ
âI deal with her enough already.â Y/n groaned, leaning her head back on the cushion.Â
âHow is that going?â Mor switched subjects, navigating to safer areas. If she pushed too much on this topic ⌠y/n might shut down again.Â
âSlowly. Traveling between worlds, Rhys is obsessed with it and translating some of the old texts takes hours.âÂ
âIs he now?â She turned, interested, and gave her a small smile.Â
âI wasnât supposed to tell you that.âÂ
âI wonât snitch.âÂ
âI wonât either.â She snipped back, but a small smile was on her face, and some mirth dancing in her eyes. She couldâve cried from relief - even if she has other things to think about now, about how she has a very clear idea of what happened. Part of her wants to lecture her sister about bargains, again.Â
-
Y/n was forced to stop hiding, the tattoo pricking into her skin every time it thought she was being a bit too reclusive. Still, she wondered if it really was a fair bargain - their silence in return for; not visiting her again, not hiding, and telling them if anyone does that again. She supposes that could mean several things, and they never specified a specific timeframe on when she would have to tell them. In her desperation for them to keep her confidence, sheâd done something foolish and doubted they would let her out of that anytime soon. If ever.Â
The two of them can be just as tricky as she is, and just as likely to find loopholes. At least they wouldnât use it against her with the intention to cause harm. Sheâd never make one of those with someone she doesnât trust. Even if the wording is iron-clad, thereâs always room for error. Most of the âbargainsâ sheâs made are always light-hearted.Â
Like making Rhys take her to fly, even if it was the shortest gods-damned flight of her life. Two minutes, if that - and under the cover of dark, after him and Mor snuck her out of Hewn City. Her very first taste of freedom. She was always kept away whenever the Inner Circle visited. Still, she managed to sneak away from the guards, learning how to create diversions and somehow give the impression she was still sleeping in her rooms, enchanting her toys to keep moving, or a pen to keep writing, a book to keep flipping its pages. They never caught her either. She wasnât even born when Mor left. In fact, she wasnât born until after Rhys took up his throne. Born into a âcleaned-outâ Hewn City, and grateful for it - she doesnât want to know what it was like before.Â
Not many children were around, anyway. The friends she did make were the ones her parents encouraged her to, from foreign courts for the most part. People sheâs unlikely to ever visit again. Technically, she could leave of her own accord - but that would mean whoever sheâs visiting is going to have someone knocking on their door to drag her away.Â
A knock sounded on the door as she slumped back against her pillow, and she could sense Azriel was out there.Â
âCome in,â she called. Thereâs a fifty-fifty chance heâd enter anyway.Â
The door swung open, revealing him leaning against her doorway. âI heard you went to speak with the priestesses.âÂ
Cutting right to the chase, then. âI speak with them every day. Itâs part of my job description.âÂ
His eyes narrowed. âYou know what I mean.â
She groaned, pushing herself up to sit. âYou donât need to haunt the doorway, you can come in.âÂ
âLast time I did, I recall a book launched my way.âÂ
She held up both hands, showing there were no projectiles in reach. He still looked cautious as he entered, and took up a seat in one of the armchairs, right by her favorite window. She swung her legs over so she sat on the edge of her bed, propping her forearms on her thighs.Â
-
Azriel couldnât help as his eyes shifted down ever so slightly to where her nightdress slipped down, showing the tops of the curves of her breasts. His gaze switched back up as quickly as possible, and somehow y/n didnât catch the action - instead looking out towards the window. Good, the last thing he needs is to start ogling her, to give her the impression heâs coming onto her. There was something else he could do. Heâd need to speak with Cassian.Â
âIâm proud of you,â he offered instead. Her head snapped, back to look at him. Her eyes were wide and he fought the urge to shift under her gaze.Â
âThank you,â she murmured, her lips turning up into a soft smile. A shadow curled around his ear, happy, happy, happy. It sang.Â
âWhat do they tell you?â She tilted her head, eyeing it.Â
âThat youâre happy,â he said honestly.Â
She blinked twice, lips curving into an easy smile. âI suppose I am,â she finally answered.Â
âYou should get some sleep.â Heâd noticed the bags under her eyes, how she still seemed exhausted and worn down throughout the day. Azriel had told Cassian he needed to stop dragging her outside and beating her into the ground every day. Heâs aware healing is different for each person, but it had been a month since she returned, and his worry only grew.Â
âThatâs rude.â She frowned, but glanced at the mirror across from her bed. Interesting placement. âI do look like shit.âÂ
He snorted. âYou look tired, thereâs a difference.âÂ
âSleep hasnât ⌠been easy.â He could tell it cost her something to admit that. Stubborn pride, just like her sister and cousin. And the rest of them, he supposed.Â
âNightmares?â He prompted, and she nodded. He wouldnât pry further, but made a mental note to send a shadow in later, to keep watch on her. Maybe it was an invasion of her privacy, but he didnât particularly care. âIâm right down the hall,â he jerked his chin towards the door.Â
âIâm aware.â Another shadow curled around his ear, stay, stay, stay. âIs it too nosy if I ask about that one?â She teased.Â
âMaybe.âÂ
She held her hand to her chest in mock surprise. âI suppose itâs your job to keep secrets.âÂ
âI recall someone making a terrible bargain to keep something secret.âÂ
Her face dropped, and he got the impression he said the wrong damn thing. âTheyâve already figured it out.â She mumbled, eyes avoiding him. He hated that, hated when she wouldnât look at him.Â
âThatâs not a terrible thing.â He fought the urge to rub the back of his neck. Heâs never been great at comforting, usually Cassianâs the one to do these kinds of things. Still, he found himself walking across the room, taking a seat next to her. On instinct, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, tugging her into his side.Â
She froze, went still for a brief moment, and he was about to move away when she leaned into him, her body relaxing. A few of his shadows swirled around her neck, and she hummed in content.Â
Another one curled around his ear, happy, stay. Maybe, for a minute or two.Â
-
Cassian went looking for Azriel, he wasnât in his room - or downstairs or anywhere to be found, and tracked his scent off to y/nâs room, of all places. The door was already parted, and he nudged it open with his foot. Y/n was curled into his side, sound asleep in an awfully uncomfortable position. How tired did she have to be to sleep like that? Almost sitting up.Â
Azriel turned his head to look at him, his expression almost saying âI have no idea how I got here.â He held a fist up to his face, fighting back a laugh, and ignoring his glare. He stalked over towards the duo, ignoring Azâs glare as he shook y/nâs shoulder.Â
âStop holding him hostage.â He watched as her eyes opened, half lidded with sleep.Â
âSorry,â she mumbled, hand coming up to hide a yawn.Â
Azriel moved his arm away, even if he seemed reluctant to do so, and he pushed back her shoulders so sheâd actually lay down. âI donât want to hear any complaints if your back hurts tomorrow.âÂ
âFuck off.â She yanked the blankets back over her, burrowing down into the pillows. It took barely a minute before she was sound asleep again, her breaths evening out, mouth slightly parted in sleep. Peaceful, she looked so peaceful, even with the bags still lining her eyes like horrible bruises.Â
Azriel tapped his shoulder, and he realized heâd been staring for a while. They quietly left, gently shutting the door closed behind them.Â
âYouâve gone soft.â He told the other male after they were out of earshot.Â
âI was just ⌠comforting her, and she fell asleep.â
âMust be really tired, then.âÂ
âShe said sheâs having nightmares.âÂ
Mother above, Cassian wanted to storm the autumn court and bring her back that assholeâs head as a gift. In fact, heâd been debating it for the last few days - but, if anything it would distress her further. Y/nâs never been a violent person, in contrast to the rest of the inner circle. A good contrast. She thought heâd been training her more just to keep her from âhiding,â but his mind was swirling with what else couldâve gone wrong, and if she would have been able to defend herself. Or why she threw herself in whole heartedly, pushing herself harder than ever.Â
âSheâs been more ...â Cassian pressed his lips into a tightline, glancing behind him to make sure y/n wasnât behind. âDedicated, training wise.âÂ
âI know.â Azriel replied quietly. He couldnât shake the feeling there was something else they didnât know.
-
Her tattoo pricked at her as she opened the third letter in the past month. Addressed from her friend, like the last two, but something was different about this one - her name written differently, a small curve to the letters.Â
Her eyes scanned the page, picking out the key phrases.Â
I miss the fun we had. I know how much you enjoyed yourself.Â
You must, should visit at your earliest convenience.Â
There was only a general threatening atmosphere to the words - nothing outwardly against her safety. Only him ⌠reminiscing on the past events, in uncomfortable detail. Harmless, she decided, even if her subconscious screamed against her. No pain ripped through her magic, also some guilt crept into her at the feeling - she was hiding it, using a loophole to get out of the agreement, not honoring the spirit of it.Â
With a low exhale, she justified it to herself, no need to worry the two of them - they were busy enough as is. Besides, she couldnât trust them to keep their cool. The guilt would multiply if she knew violence was brought to her friend's doorway. She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, and crumpled the paper - shoving it in a drawer and reminding herself to burn it later. It was dark, the sun already dipped below the horizon - only vague rays of pink and purple peeking up past the horizon. Her stomach grumbled, loud enough she snorted. Thatâs a clear signal she needs to grab something to eat.Â
She slipped out her door, closing it behind her with a gentle snick. She kept her footsteps as silent as she could as she trailed down the hallway, but she heard ⌠moans - and groans coming from Azrielâs room. Did he have someone over? A small tinge of hurt filled her - not that he was hers, or she had any claim to him. Or Cassian. Why had her mind gone to both of them? âRidiculous,â she quietly chided herself. She could manage to walk by the room, keep her eyes set right ahead - no need to look at the door or pause, she wouldnât be nosy.Â
Her feet moved quickly, and she spotted the cracked open door in her peripheral, cursing him. Eyes forward, right ahead. No need to look.Â
But, she made the mistake of looking at the window, figuring it would be harmless.Â
Her mouth parted in shock as she saw Cassian, pressed back against Azriel who had one arm wrapped around his front - palming him through the leather pants. They were both shirtless, muscles toned and gleamed with a light sheen of sweat. Azrielâs other hand was fisted in the Generalâs hair, their lips crashing together in a violent and passionate kiss.Â
She hadnât realized she was staring, arousal starting to creep into her, until a shadow curled around Azrielâs ear and his head snapped towards her. Cassian quickly followed, and she let out a small yelp - going bug eyed and taking off down the hall. She was not supposed to see that. Not at all ⌠Mother above they need to close the damned door. Arousal flickered through her as she paused at the end of the hall - way out of range, bracing her hand against the wall, she squeezed her eyes shut and willed away the feeling. She couldnât want them. They were perfectly unavailable, and together, at least in some sense.Â
Did Rhys and Mor know? She wouldnât be the one to tell them. Her mind flashed with more images;
Azriel panting as Cassian knelt in front of him. Azriel hauling him to his feet - throwing him over the side of the bed âŚÂ
âStop it.â She muttered to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose and darting her gaze around the hall. No one to witness, good. She couldnât remember why she left her room, but she wouldnât be returning for a while.Â
-
It shouldnât have, but getting caught - and by her, and feeling her arousal from the brief moments she watched them ⌠it spurred him on, sent him deeper into that state of building pleasure.Â
She didnât know they already knew she was there. Azriel wanted to see how long it took for her to say something, or if theyâd have to act first.
âWe should invite her back.â Cassian said, bruised lips frowning.Â
âDo you want to scare her off?â Azriel asked incredulously. They had actual albeit vague plans for this. To come in stages, how to trigger various emotions in her.Â
âNo.â He muttered, entwining his hair at the nape of Azrielâs neck.
âGood boyâ Azriel teased and his friend grunted, throwing a half-hearted punch his way. Cassian stiffened under his hand. âYou like that?â His teeth nipped at his neck as his hand slipped under his waistband.Â
âDo we talk to her about it?â Cassian asked, an hour later - hair messed, cheeks flushed, one hand braced on the doorframe.Â
Az propped himself up from where he was still laying in bed. âLet her dream about it.âÂ
#acotar fic#cazriel x reader#cazriel x y/n#cassian x azriel x reader#cassian x y/n x azriel#azriel x cassian x y/n#azriel x y/n x cassian#azriel x reader x cassian#cazriel#cassian x azriel#cassian x y/n#cassian x reader x azriel#cassian x reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x reader#acotar imagine
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