#i would like to know where i can possibly fit piano into my daily routine and rn i'm too tired to plan for myself

[studentbyday]

so the week is half over and i'm kind of feeling low on energy and needing lots of sleep, which is the perfect opportunity to (sort of) try out einstein's daily routine (which is tbh the most personally palatable daily routine of a famous person i've ever chanced across)! i've been waking up at nearly 9 anyway since lately my head spins and i feel sick if i don't sleep like 9-10 hours.

So yeah, wake up at 9.

Between 9 and 10, eat breakfast and read the newspapers fiction

I know after breakfast he was said to often walk to Princeton and arrive by 10:30 or smth but (a) I don't go to Princeton, and (b) these days I study at home, so instead I'm just going to do some form of exercise.

~10:30 to 1pm: work study

have lunch (i read somewhere that he spends 1.5h on lunch and tea? i wish i could have a lunch and tea that leisurely but i do not have the time. so i won't.)

afternoons: receive visitors and work study

also afternoons: naps if needed (tho thankfully i seem to have enough energy to last me through the day if i get 9-10h of sleep... also i just don't think i'll have much time for naps. 🙁)

~6:30pm: have dinner [and clean up]

after dinner: more work study if needed (most likely needed)

sleeeeeeeepppppppp [be ready for or in bed by 9 or 10]

i'll update this post later to let you know how it goesss~

i hope you're feeling better than i am this week 💗🤒

~the aforementioned update~

ahahaha i don't think i did a very good job of following any routine this week. on wednesday i slept a little later than usual and ended up waking up at 10am (i didn't set an alarm for some reason). on thursday i set my alarm for 7 and then 8 and then 10 because i had to finish reviewing the last of the microbiology for the midterm and actually woke up at 9:30. and on friday i want to actually wake up somewhere within the hour of 7am so i can hopefullyyyy finish all my schoolwork for this week?? despite the seeming slowness of einstein's routine, i always feel like i'm rushing when i wake up when the sun is already up and most everyone else i live with is already awake, so i'm going to try this again over reading week but change the wake-up time and stick to it dammit— 😤

also i feel like if i'm gonna be posting on tumblr again, i should post my screen time stats for accountability because for some reason whenever i start making stuff for social media, my screen time goes through the roof bc i get so distracted and like oh wait there was this thing i want to add no wait where was i— (as i got lost in a scroll.) and this happens multiple times. but sometimes i do feel very much like yapping and when i'm in this mood, i could yap for days on end so i gotta find a solution...

just LOOK at this horrendousness!!!

also. there was so much material to cover for the microbio midterm it was insane. i feel like i need to follow the 80/20 rule. like...just prioritize the big topics, don't care so much about the extraneous, minor details so i only expend energy for and fill my brain with what i really need to know. and i'm not sure how good flashcards are for that because it just seems kinda random, the order in which cards are thrown at you in anki, and i'm the kind of person who, at least during the first pass, compulsively desires to cover everything, and so what do you think happens? i end up with a massive “stack” of flashcards, including cards about minor/extraneous details. every. single. time. i'm not entirely sure how i want to navigate this yet, but i'm definitely gonna try that 80/20 rule...bc this was just too stressful 🥲

[prof-peach]

Hi professor! This question is a bit sad, but important. Do you have any advice on helping a pokemon get used to prosthetics? My Espeon had to have one of her front legs amputated due to a malignant growth. I'm really worried about her. She was a really happy, energetic Pokemon and now every day she wakes up, eats two bites, then finds her window cushion and just flops. We got approved for a prosthetic but she's really not taking to it.

Ah, classic psychic type. This is relativly normal for the group, most don’t take well to prosthetics, as they are capable of creating their own support, an overlooked fact. All psychic types use strong energy, that really is quite difficult to try to explain, it’s usually for attacking or defending, but in cases where a wild Pokemon has lost an important part of their body, they can essentially learn to conjur a new one. It’s not really...teachable? There’s nothing you or I could do about training this ability, it’ll be down to you’re partner. The idea is that with telekinetic abilities, they can muster enough energy to give themselves what I can only describe as a ghost limb. You can only very faintly see it, it usually resembles what it use to be, and you can’t touch it really. Not unless they let you, and there’s no pain receptors in it, so attacks or damage to the psychic energy limb is nulled. It’d resemble this, once she gets the hang of it. We find socialising with other amputee psychic Pokemon encourages this behaviour, and gives them someone to ask about the process, speeding things up a bit. It’s the difference in teaching yourself piano, or having a teacher, chances are you will appreciate the help, but that’s not to say it can’t be done alone.

Go meet up with other Pokemon who work with prosthetics, and live with them daily. Most Pokemon centres offer clubs and events, and I’m sure there is a notice board inside your local one with groups of other amputees and individuals looking for others like themselves. These groups are not only great for socialising Pokemon, but also to show those who feel quite down about the situation, that there’s indeed light at the end of the tunnel, and that losing a part of you doesn’t mean you are not capable and strong. Your Pokemon above all else sounds depressed, as most would be, losing a leg is a lot to go through! You can certainly help her feel less down about it by showing her just how many others are out there, living like her, and loving every second of it.

Bringing her mood up may mean some work on your part, but that’s trainer life for you. Get something you can push her around in for the time being, a chair or cart, whatever’s comfortable for her, and get out into the day super early with the sunrise, go on walks, try to fit in trips to her favorite places. She does not need to wear the prosthetic if she’s not ready, it’s fine to take her time over that.

Short meter walks on three legs will improve her balance, she may not want to, but I think once she’s seen how she could be living after meeting other Pokemon like her, she may be a bit more inspired to give it a good go. You could do this exercise in the hall of your home, or across a room, you don’t need a lot of space, just stand close to catch her if she has a wobble, secure her that you’re there for her. If she’s not comfortably coming to you at the moment, there’s a chance she might not think you would understand her feelings, as you have not gone through the same things. Don’t let it get to you, this happens with even life long partners, and should be confronted, not ignored. Be her best friend, because she will need that more than ever.

Did you discuss with her what would happen before she had the leg removed? If she goes in for what she thinks is a routine checkup and takes a nap while she’s there and wakes up with a leg gone, with no reason why or even an explanation, that’d be a bit tough on her. I’m sure you did discuss it, but it’s worth saying, and can be overlooked.

I could go on but focus on the small steps first, support, socialisation and practice. Once she’s walking ok on 3 legs, (which should be very possible, if not a little hoppy) then move onto the conjuring of the psychic energy limb. She will need time and practice, but if you struggle to find another Psychic type Pokemon who has mastered this ability, let the island team know and we’ll link you up with a trainer or two with Pokemon who are trained to teach other psychic types how to get the hang of it.

it’s a pain I know, to take the time to get a prosthetic made and fitted, but she must really not like it to stay that cooped up. Try without for now, see how she goes. Just need reminding that she’s excellent and can do so much in life still. If her mood does not improve after all this, bring her in and we’ll take a look at her, have a good chat via a Rotom-dex.

[bts-weverse-trans]

The Life of BTS Writes a Story Review of BE 2020.11.30

BTS released its new album, BE, on November 20 after RM announced the band’s plan to produce the record on BANGTANTV’s Log (ON) on April 17. The group was working on the album even as “Dynamite”, the single they dropped on August 21, was topping the Billboard Hot 100. This order of events is given a fresh new meaning when “Dynamite” closes BE as opposed to standing alone as a single. While the group was busy sending messages of hope by reminding us of the past where heading out happily after a cup of milk was possible and giving us a glimpse of the future that will eventually come, they were recording the emotional ride they have been on while being off stage via different tracks on BE. Such changes in emotions can be seen through different portrayals of Jung Kook’s room—the way it looks during the first verse of both “Dynamite” and “Life Goes On,” the title track of the new album. Jung Kook is captured looking chipper as he ties his shoes getting ready to go out and dances in his sunshine-filled room in the music video of “Dynamite”, but in the latter’s video, Jung Kook stares blankly out the window. BE tells the story of how Jung Kook and other members navigated their lives, which includes their time singing “Dynamite,” during the pandemic by stepping out of rooms that are distinctively less colorful than the scenes in the music video of “Dynamite”.

The seven tracks, not including “Dynamite”, embody BTS’ emotional shifts and draw what looks a lot like a V curve, with “Skit” separating each section of three songs. The album opens with “Life Goes On” where BTS asks, “there’s no end in sight / is there a way out?” to live through a reality devoid of hope and arrives at “Stay” where the group expresses their intense longing for a reunion with the fans by saying, “Thinking of you now / No matter where you are / That’s not important.” And during this journey, BTS responds to the physical limitations imposed on their daily lives by saying “They took away this whole year” while also trying to put a positive spin on it by singing, “Thoughts can change by thinking,” in “Fly to My Room”. What follows is “Blue & Grey”, where they reveal inner feelings of depression and anxiety with the line, “Still don’t know this sharp blue / Hope it’s not covered over I’ll find the exit.” “Skit” then offers a shift in direction, and the next song, “Telepathy” reveals their eagerness to meet people again, highlighted by the lyrics, “Every day’s the same and I’m happiest when I meet you.” BTS also takes a moment to let out their complex thoughts on work to reach “Stay” ultimately. It is only at the end of this process that the optimism in “Dynamite”, which feels like a conviction of hope in a time of pandemic, appears in full.

“Life Goes On” allows those who don’t know whether they should hold on to hope or give up on hope to feel what it is like to go with the flow when you don’t know what to feel. Those who want to find a reason to be positive in life affected by the pandemic can find solace in “Fly to My Room.” But it is when you listen to the album as a whole that you can get healing from the pain the pandemic has inflicted on us. The soothing ambiance offered by “Life Goes on” transitions into heavy, slow, and dark tunes in “Blue & Grey,” which is followed by faster rhythm and airy sounds in “Telepathy” and “Stay.” Then the album finally culminates in “Dynamite” where the bright sunshine lifts you up. The record in its entirety offers the chance to experience at least indirectly the emotional ride taken by global superstars BTS themselves. “Dis-ease” is the classic example of the storytelling style BTS chose for the album; the moment they let out their angst and fully devote themselves to work is when the song reaches its climax. When BTS sings, “Get up one more time / It’s morning again we gotta go out / Let’s go one more night,” towards the end of the song, the arrangement drives up the song’s tension for the peak moment, “Everyday I console myself / We’re all the same people ain’t so special / Ay man keep one, two step keep calm and let’s heal up” which tops the song off like fireworks. This ironic way of storytelling mirrors BTS’ life at the moment. There are a lot of thoughts about work and life on their mind, but they try their best to work through them. And just as they do this, their energy transforms into a musical blast.

With “On,” the single track on their previous album “Map of the Soul : 7,” BTS says “Where my pain lies / Let me take a breath.” The album covers how BTS has traveled from the past to where they stand now, and “ON” tells a story of the members having to live with the “shadow” that comes with enormous fame as discussed in “Interlude : Shadow” on the very same album. With BE, BTS finally tells the story of their lives that are still unfolding. It’s not clear whether their questions about work asked in “Dis-ease” now found answers. It’s not known how long this will last, just like no one knows when this pandemic will finally run its course. We have no way of knowing if they are still in the mood expressed in “Blue & Grey” or they’re feeling the positivity of “Fly to My Room.” One thing that is clear is that while they battle work as one would with “Dis-ease,” they still wrote songs like “Telepathy” and “Stay” to send their messages to the fans, and kept busy getting ready to perform “Dynamite” on numerous stages. BE is the album that ties together all of their real-life events, both on and off stage, as one narrative. They started as an idol group and now their lives are intertwined inseparable from their music, their very existence becoming the stories they tell.

The way BE sets up different songs is directly linked to the musical changes BTS has undergone, and thus, are evident in the album. As the members’ stories take center stage, the arrangement focuses on getting their lines and melodies across and adjusts itself flexibly to each member’s part without following a certain trend or form. The arrangement filled with sounds of guitars, synthesizers, bass, drums, and pianos or sounds similar to real instruments is fitting to songs like “Fly to My Room” and “Blue & Grey”, in which auditory shifts accompany each member’s part. The smaller number of sounds used in

BE

compared to previous albums further emphasizes vocals, such as by accentuating the sound of Jung Kook inhaling in the beginning of “Life Goes On.” If J-Hope’s part in “Fly to My Room” reminds you of a gospel song, it’s not just because the synthesizer highlighted the gospel-like vibes but also because j-Hope’s voice that faithfully delivers his emotions as if giving witness to an epiphany with the line, “Thoughts can change by thinking.” Just like the auditory shift that takes place with SUGA’s rap part in “Blue & Grey” where the drums begin to layer, the arrangement of BE evolves constantly in line with each member’s part.

BE also takes on new challenges in format.. The chorus in “Blue & Grey” has such long melodies that it has no clear ending, and it fades out for the post-chorus that triggers an image of a lonely winter night with gloomy vocals. The post-chorus might seem like an abrupt shift but many devices contribute to giving this song the bleak wintery night vibe: RM’s somewhat distant rapping delivered through left and right on stereo that echoes through the room as well as the vocal recording that applied different echoes depending on lyrics and the solemn sounding cello. “Life Goes On” progresses in a similar fashion, starting with percussions ringing right next to your ears that create multi-layered sounds and taking you to an imagined space by blending the chorus and synthesizer. The story they tell resembles confessions about emotional states or specific circumstances, and the melodies unfold and rap flows in new ways as the story progresses While there are a lot of shifts, there is consistency in that sounds build the same sense of space. “Stay,” while being an EDM piece, ends on a rather blue note after phasing out beats that earlier set the stage for the dancefloor stomper. It makes sense given that the song is Jung Kook’s imagination of performing in front of the fans; Festivities in the song are interrupted by the fading out of vocals and overall sound layers. “Telepathy” offers a catchy hook in a song filled with bouncy spirit, just like “Dynamite” does. But the difference lies in that “Dynamite” brings out the explosive energy through repetition of melodies and variation of rhythms and that “Telepathy” phases itself out by reducing the number of sounds. “Fly to My Room” is about coming to terms with life in the pandemic, but the acknowledgment doesn’t necessarily make such a life enjoyable. Adding vibrant melodies isn’t a solution to challenges that accompany work, which are conveyed in “Dis-ease.” Such are the mixed feelings we experience in life—in which we have no control over a break or our approach—that are clearly expressed in the album by highlighting each member’s part and various shifts. Despite the numerous musical turns, the album has been produced in a way that ensures its consistency throughout the entire work; “Life Goes On” leaves you with the chorus where the seamless melodic flow seems like it’ll just keep on going.

In “Skit”, BTS is talking about how they’re practicing their debut song for performance eveon on the day after “Dynamite” became No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100. After they topped the chart with “Dynamite”, they came back with an album filled with songs seemingly the polar opposites of their hit single. Life seems to be on a loop but changes suddenly appear, and previous routines end up different because of this newness. BE is an acceptance of such peculiarity of life rather than an answer to it. BTS began with K-pop and now have become superstars of pop, and they’ve harnessed the power of their own story in the album by choosing neither path. The team that began its journey with “No More Dream” and have traveled to “Dynamite” leaves an open ending as to where they will head next. Still, the next chapter will be shared regardless of what it shapes up to be. That is why they can leave us wondering what comes after BE.

Trans © Weverse

[megalony]

Problem solved

This is my first dad! Harry Styles series which I am going to be working on, I hope you will all like and enjoy it. This is a friends to lovers series, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Summary: Harry offers for (Y/n) and her daughter to come and live with him and his son to help her out of a tricky situation and feelings soon start to develop between them both.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mornin' little lady, can we come in?" A smile pulled at Harry's lips when he looked down to see Ella stood half behind the door like she was getting ready to hide away from whoever turned up at the door.

The four year old looked up at him with a shy smile before she nodded and pulled open the door, allowing Harry and Elliot to walk inside. Harry darted his eyes around the hall to try and decipher whereabouts (Y/n) was until he heard her feet padding against the stairs. He had been in the area and thought he would pop by and see one of his closest friends and since Ella seemed to get along rather well with Elliot Harry thought it would be good for them to play together for a while if (Y/n) wasn't busy.

Elliot didn't tend to talk to many kids around his age, even when he was at pre-school he didn't like talking or getting to know other kids so to know he seemed comfortable around Ella was a godsend to Harry even if Ella was two years younger than Elliot.

"Mummy, it's Elliot and Harry." Ella's voice showed her enthusiasm and the way she bounced from her heels to her toes made Harry smile fondly at her. Elliot never seemed to jitter with excitement or go high pitched or jump around like Ella, he was calm and preserved and laid back so it was a change to see in other children how different Elliot acted.

When (Y/n) counted thirteen steps she cautiously placed her left foot down and felt around just to make sure she was actually on the floor and not on a secret last step. It had happened far too many times where she lost count and ended up tripping on the last step on the stairs. A bungalow might have been a better option in hind-sight but (Y/n) always liked a challenge.

"I didn't know you were popping by, what can I do for you, Styles?" (Y/n) smiled but Harry could see that her smile didn't reach her enamouring eyes that were flitting around the hall like she was scanning the house for something.

"Thought we'd come by and see you both... everything okay?" Harry lowered his tone towards the end of his sentence and spoke a little quieter and if (Y/n) could see he would have narrowed his eyes and dipped his head down to try and silently ask if something was wrong. He wanted to make sure everything was okay when he could tell that (Y/n) looked a bit unsettled and like she had been either crying or panicking. Whenever something was wrong he made sure to try and find out so he could find a way to help.

"Hm. Ella, why don't you take Elliot upstairs to play?"

(Y/n) moved a few steps away from the stairs, reaching her hand out when she felt Ella getting closer. The four year old reached her hand out and gently squeezed (Y/n)'s hand, a normal part of their daily routine just like they were sharing a smile or a look with each other. Ella smiled shyly at Harry before she motioned for Elliot to follow her, knowing he wouldn't like it if she reached out to try and take his hand and drag him upstairs like she did with some of her friends.

A gentle smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she reached her arms out in Harry's direction and felt his familiar, comforting arms wrapping around her. She loved the feeling when he leaned down to her height and his cheek brushed against hers and she could feel his hair tickling her cheek or her forehead or trying to intertwine with her own hair. When his fingers ran up and down her back and hips like they were now it made her feel so calm and relaxed and like everything was okay, even if she knew it wasn't. She could even feel the few specks of stubble around his chin and cheek which tickled her skin and made her want to laugh at the feeling.

"What have you been up to?" (Y/n) tried her best to make conversation when they pulled back and she moved to guide Harry down the hall and into the kitchen.

She knew her own house well enough that she didn't have to hold onto the walls to guide herself anymore, she could count her steps just to make sure she was right and she could hold her hands out to make sure she wouldn't barge into the walls but she knew where she was going and what she was doing.

"I've been at the studio, mostly. Took Elliot out to the zoo but he didn't like it very much. What about you?"

When they reached the kitchen, (Y/n) felt around for the counter on her left and used it as leverage to pull herself over to the fridge.

"I've been at the piano this week, had a new idea for a song for you. Do you want a drink?"

(Y/n) came up with a lot of melodies on the piano and a few chords on the violin for Harry's songs and he either came up with lyrics that went with the tune or vice versa, (Y/n) made the tune to fit how he wanted to sing the songs. She didn't work on many of Harry's songs but she did a fair few from time to time and Harry loved working with (Y/n).

"Just juice, please." Harry sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen but his eyes narrowed as he studied (Y/n). She sounded off, her voice wasn't as bouncy as normal and she wasn't smiling as brightly and lighting up the room like she normally did. Nor did she seem to walk around effortlessly, she was reaching out a bit more for the counters showing her mind was clearly somewhere else. Harry hoped he hadn't disturbed her by coming round if she was preoccupied or in the middle of something.

Reaching his hand out, Harry gently held (Y/n)'s elbow to help her find the stool next to him and know where he was before she sat down, placing a drink in front of each of them.

"Ella's happy you came by, she's missed Elliot."

"(Y/n) is something wrong? You seem a bit... upset." Harry curled his fingers around the glass resting on the counter in front of him but his eyes were focused solely on his friend who was sitting beside him at the kitchen counter. He leaned his elbows forward on the counter, arching his back out as he watched (Y/n) closely.

He knew all of her little ticks and antics, when she started to scratch the palms of her hands or rub at her neck it meant she was getting anxious or that something was wrong and Harry hated to see her panic. Harry had also picked up on the fact that whenever (Y/n) was frustrated or very overly worried, she would start to clean the house a lot. She would try and clean the counters until she thought they were sparkling, she would tidy everything away so the house was spotless and then she would start over again trying to clean her house that was always pristine anyway.

"I um... I saw my social worker today... they know James moved out." (Y/n) traced her finger around the rim of her glass as she felt relieved for once that she couldn't see Harry's expression.

"What did she say?"

Harry took a sip of his juice to try and calm his nerves that were slowly getting rattled and uneasy. (Y/n) was one of the closest people to Harry and he had and always would help her out wherever possible and if anything upset or hurt her then it hurt him too.

He knew that when (Y/n) and James split up it would cause (Y/n) a lot of problems because he was a safety net for her. Ella was their daughter and that meant James was always around to help (Y/n), no one thought she was incapable of caring for Ella or treated her differently or inferior because she had help and support from her partner. When he moved out Harry also knew that (Y/n) didn't tell her social worker because when they knew she was living on her own with Ella they would make more visits to see her and think she was incapable of being a single mother simply because she couldn't see.

"She's going to be coming round every week and soon she'll do an assessment, to..."

"An assessment for what?"

"Child services haven't been involved when Ella was born because I had James and his family, I had a network of people in case I did something wrong. They h-have to assess whether I'm capable of living with Ella on my own and if I'm not I c-can't have custody of her anymore."

Even though (Y/n)'s eyes were unfocused and jittering side to side, it didn't stop Harry from seeing the pool of emotions surfacing in them like ripples forming on the water. He could see the pain and the fear in (Y/n)'s eyes because for the first time, she was faced with the threat of having her child taken away from her.

With (Y/n) unable to see it meant that social services were involved when she had Eleanor to make sure she was capable of caring for Eleanor on her own. (Y/n) couldn't see if something happened to Ella, she only had her hearing and her touch to navigate and work with and she could burn herself or accidentally scold Ella. She could trip and fall unconscious with no one else home except for Ella, something could happen to Ella and (Y/n) have no means to get her any help. There were any number of things that could happen and it meant (Y/n) needed people around her to help.

When she was with James she lived with him and his family were close by and those connections meant (Y/n) could be a mother because she had people to help her when she needed assistance and they were a safety network in case something happened or went wrong. Now James had moved out (Y/n) was on her own and that was deemed as a risk for Ella if (Y/n) didn't have any friends or family helping and close by every day.

If she was deemed incapable or at risk then Ella would either be with James full time or possibly even put into care or with a relative or in the system. (Y/n) could still see Ella but she couldn't have custody and (Y/n) couldn't have anyone taking her child away from her because she loved and needed Ella. 

"But if they think you're capable on your own-"

"They won't." (Y/n) dragged her nails through her hair, scratching at her scalp as she tried to stop herself from having a panic attack. She could feel her lungs starting to tighten and her chest felt heavier like stones were setting in her lungs and weighing her down.

(Y/n)'s finger started to tap against the counter as she leaned her head on her other hand, her unfocused eyes moving over where she guessed Harry's face was. She could feel his presence in front of her, she could feel his knee touching her own and his eyes burning into her frame and she could even feel his breaths pushing her way. When she felt Harry's hand enveloping over her own that was tapping away on the counter, she wanted to smile but she couldn't quite manage it.

"But you've had custody of her for the past four years and you did just fine when she was a baby."

"Harry, I can't see the house, you know I need things in the right place but Ella doesn't understand. If she leaves a toy around I could trip and fall, if she gets hurt upstairs I might not know for an hour or more. What happens if I hurt myself and can't get help? What if I burn myself or burn her?"

(Y/n) couldn't see the house but she had it planned out in her head like blueprints. She had to have every chair, every book, every bin and ornament and picture frame in the same place so she could get around and know where everything was. But Ella didn't understand that because she was only four, she would get books and toys out and not put them away and (Y/n) could fall on those toys or trip or get confused and hurt herself.

If (Y/n) fell unconscious Ella would be scared and alone until she woke up or someone happened to come by. If Ella hurt herself upstairs and (Y/n) didn't hear anything she wouldn't know for an uncertain amount of time. Anything could go wrong and with (Y/n) being here on her own it increased the risks that were diminished when she was living with James.

"But you haven't ever done that-"

"That doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Mum isn't well, she can't come round and help and my brother is two hours away. James wants custody of her, his parents won't try and help me they want Ella to live with him."

(Y/n) couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes when she thought about how everything was stacking up against her. It didn't matter that she and James had been together for six years or that they tried to end things on good terms, he wanted custody of Ella. He didn't think (Y/n) could care for her on her own and that meant his family were going to try and help him get custody.

James' parents would help (Y/n) by looking after Ella but they wouldn't be round every day to give help and support like they had done before. They weren't willing to do that because they wanted Ella with James. And (Y/n)'s mother wasn't well right now so she couldn't be round to help out like (Y/n)'s social worker wanted, she wanted (Y/n) to have people able to come and help (Y/n) and even her brother wasn't living nearby.

"What if you lived with me?"

(Y/n) hadn't heard him right. Surely, she hadn't heard right what Harry had just said to her. Why would he say something like that, why would he say that when they weren't a couple and it didn't help him out?

"What?"

"If you lived with me and Elliot, wouldn't your social worker say that was okay? I'd be there just like when James lived here, I can help with Ella and if you need anything I'll be there and mum wouldn't mind coming round whenever you need her."

The sincerity in Harry's voice made (Y/n)'s eyes flood with tears at the gesture he was presenting her with. He was willing to be so selfless to try and help her and Ella out but (Y/n) couldn't do that, she couldn't go and stay with Harry because it wouldn't be fair. He was always in the media and she didn't want people speculating or asking him questions or making his life any harder than it already was. Besides, he had Elliot, it might confuse or upset him if she and Ella suddenly turned up to live with them. (Y/n) couldn't impose on Harry like that, it would be cruel.

"That... that's more than generous Harry, but I- I couldn't. You have Elliot to consider and the press and I couldn't impose on your mother either... besides, I thought you were trying to work things out with Sally?"

"You know my mum loves you, I want to help and it seems like you either need a friend to be very close by or you need to live with someone who can help. If they thought you were in a stable relationship with me they would know you were both being looked after and that you were still capable of looking after Ella with that safety net under you."

Harry could see how this would play out for (Y/n), she either needed a few close friends to be around her almost every day to help out with taking Ella to school and tidying up or generally helping with Ella's well-being or buying groceries or making dinner. Or (Y/n) needed to live with someone who could help and be there just in case something were to happen. Harry wanted to be that person but he knew it would be easier for (Y/n) and Ella to live with him rather than him coming round every day or every few days because it would be easier to live together and it would make (Y/n) seem more protected and surrounded by helping hands.

Anne knew (Y/n) and she was very fond of her, she wouldn't mind at all coming to help (Y/n) out with anything or just being around every now and then.

"W-why would you do that for me?"

"Because I know what a good mother you are and I want to help you. Look, I'm not after anything from you (Y/n), but just think about it. If you lived with me and Elliot it would show that you had and were accepting help, you wouldn't be alone and therefore not in any danger or seen as a concern and your social worker would be happy."

"What about you?" (Y/n) knew she sounded sceptical and a little rude which was by no means her intention but she couldn't help but wonder how this would affect Harry. He had the purest heart of anyone (Y/n) knew or had ever come across, but this was a very selfless act that didn't seem to do any favours for Harry himself.

"Believe it or not, I'd get company out of this. It gets lonely just me and Elliot and I don't like being lonely, plus it gives him a bit more stability if you're around. He can have someone else there to help and someone his own age and I think it might calm him down a bit and give him a family."

Harry had a big house but he hated it when there was so much room and only two people in the whole house. It got lonely especially when Elliot went to bed or was at school and Harry got the odd day off or the time to practise in his home. He hated being lonely which was why before Elliot was born Harry stayed with friends a lot even though he had a big house to himself. He liked to surround himself with people and friends and family and if (Y/n) lived with him he wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

As for Elliot, Harry knew he needed more stability in his life.

At the moment, Elliot lived with Harry but had to go to stay with Anne when Harry was at work or off doing interviews or when he was on tour Elliot couldn't always come along. If (Y/n) came to stay then Elliot would have another adult to learn from and be around and basically a sibling to be around and it would give him more stability and more of a family feeling.

Elliot was six and he had learning difficulties, he needed someone around his age to be around and be friends with and a routine that (Y/n) could help provide for him if she stayed over. It would also give Elliot a motherly figure to be around and learn from and look up to because he didn't see his own mother nearly as much as he should. He didn't even want to be with his mum, he wanted Harry, his aunt Jessica and Anne and that was it.

"What do I do when you get into a relationship? Harry, I can't move in with you because it isn't a permanent solution. I'll end up moving back on my own and be back to square one again."

(Y/n) was so tempted to just say yes and see where this goes but she couldn't. This wasn't permanent. When Harry got into a relationship and wanted to move forward and move in together (Y/n) would have to leave and this wasn't the best solution. They would be living together but when things changed and (Y/n) eventually had to move out again she would be back to the same place she is now and without a solution to make everything better.

"I'm trying to work things out with Sally to get her help and try to get her back into Elliot's life. I'll always have a love for her, but I'm not in love with her anymore or looking for a relationship with her. I know this isn't forever but lots of people move in together to pay bills or so they aren't alone or to help with kids and this isn't any different. I'd never cast you out, you know that and you might find someone or a friend to live with or you might end up with friends around to help so you can live on your own again with Ella. I don't know, but for now I think this could help us both out."

Harry thought this could be permanent, at least for now. He knew a lot of people shared flats and houses so it saved on paying the bills and it gave company and safety and and a feeling of relief to some. Not everyone lived together because they were in love or in a relationship.

If (Y/n) fell for someone and wanted to move in together she could always do that or she may find another friend to stay with or she might find a friendship group or a few close friends who would be willing to come round and help her out so she could live independently again. Harry didn't know what the future held but for now he knew this was what they both needed and they could easily make this work if they wanted to.

"Harry, are you really sure about this?"

"Of course I am, come and live with me, let me help you."

When Harry squeezed her hand (Y/n) could feel the tears falling from her eyes again. She had been so worried about what she was going to do and how she was going to go about things if she was deemed unfit to care for Ella but Harry had thrown her a lifeline. He was making sure she could still be with and care for her daughter whilst also trying to secure stability for his son and cure his loneliness.

He didn't have to do any of this for (Y/n) but he was and she couldn't be more grateful to him for it.

[soundrooms]

Soundrs: Sowfi

Hello, my name is Sofia Natália Ritter, I release my songs under the name Sowfi. I’m a brazilian beatmaker and I’m only one year truly involved with music creation (despite the fact that I play piano since nine). So even though I’ve already been involved in some projects, I have a long way to go to finally call myself a “producer.” I started getting involved with lo-fi, but lately I have been producing trap, R&B, and have started studying future bass.

What are your inspiration sources?

It is hard to think of a specific inspiration because since I was a child I always considered myself very eclectic. Sometimes I also get inspirations when I walk alone in the streets. I end up absorbing a good vibe, when I see BOOM a melody pops into my mind. But lately I’ve been listening to Vintage Culture, Clairo, Doja Cat, Heize, Epik High and Millic.

Tell us something about your workflow.

Usually a melody comes to my mind and I transfer it to my classic keyboard (very old I have to say), trying to fix some things before moving on to MIDI and building the whole thing. Also, before starting, I try to listen to songs of the genre that I intend to work to already fit the mood.

How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?

They help inspire me and relax because I sometimes get stressed because I can’t “bring my idea to life.”

How do you get in the zone?

I try to start listening to some songs, a quick meditation or try to have fun with the keyboard because sometimes a cool idea comes up.

“summer breeze” lofi hip hop chill mix by sowfi

How do you start a track?

I once read in an interview that any good melody should be possible to summarize on a simple keyboard or guitar. That’s why I don’t always start directly in MIDI. Sometimes I play my instruments (keyboard or guitar) until I can establish the main melody I want. Then I move to MIDI and try to find some cool sound to build everything else.

Do you have a special template?

I usually like to start with a simple melody (sometimes melancholic hahah), with a soft piano, bells or flutes and always guaranteed a good bass. However, every project I try to try something new.

What do you put on the master channel?

EQ: Not always, but sometimes I like to emphasize a few specific frequencies a little.

Compressor: Nothing too crazy, just to make it all sound cool and interesting together. Also, make the dynamic range more consistent.

How do you arrange and finish a track?

Make sure all the instruments are sounding cool together, structure the project depending on the genre or artist preference I am working on and ensure the effects will start on time.

How do you deal with unfinished projects?

I usually take a break and go to work on other projects, because I think when it’s not working out, if you push too hard it will end up giving a bad and forced result. There were times when I went back to work on a song (which I didn’t even remember anymore) and suddenly I thought “OMG I know now what I can do in this song!” So it takes time to get inspiration.

How do you store and organize your projects?

I have a big file where I organize all my plans, ideas, work (it’s like an online studio) and there I have a folder with projects separated by genres and collaborations. And I keep notes for every song I do with key scale and BPM information for example.

How do you take care of studio ergonomics?

I always try to keep the studio as clean as possible, but lately I am undergoing reform and I need to buy more updated equipment so I think I still can not send a photo (sorry ;-; ).

Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?

I’ve been decorating my room lately. If I am not making music I am probably studying about it, listening to or seeking inspiration from the outdoors. And I try to meditate to heal the mind before a new challenge.

Share a quick producing tip.

Many may already know this, but when mixing the kick and the 808s try to make sure they are not fighting for space (cuz sometimes they share certain frequency ranges and this can cause some noise). Separate them by accentuating each other’s frequency in a different range (use EQ) to avoid strange sounds coming from the low frequencies.

Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).

➜ Webtoons (I’ve been reading a lot lately lol).

List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : )

Cars, the wind hitting the trees, children crying, white noise, my mom opening the door, Millic album called “VIDA” in the background, keyboard typing, buzina, a random dog, nothing more ~sad.

➜ Sowfi’s Soundcloud 

➜ Sowfi’s Twitter

Thanks Sowfi! Who wants to get featured next? Send a message here on tumblr or email soundrooms@icloud.com.

[dearjacobwren]

Dearest Dragha,

Thanks a lot for your last letter. I've just re-read it. You know that you are the last one that still sends me real letters? Jaap either stopped, or keeps sending them to the wrong address. Probably he lost count of numerous address changes in my recent nomadic past :)

It's a beautiful thing – seeing that there is a proper letter waiting for me in the mailbox. Usually I postpone the moment of opening the envelope until later in the day, until I feel like it's the right time. What that means is that I carry the unopened letter in my pocket (that I think about all day long), and I masochistically wait to be in an appropriate space and in the right state of mind so I could really dedicate myself to it and read it properly. As if the letter were a gift. Christmas or a birthday present.

Which reminds me

As a kid I was suuuper hyperactive, one of the most impatient kids ever. I'd often get these crazy outbursts of energy - I didn't know what to do with my body, so I'd usually do a crazy energetic dance or hang from the top of the wardrobe whilst singing my favorite pop song (my mother used to call these moments 'žuta minuta'). When I look back at it, it seems quite pathological to the extent at which I wasn't able to harness my excitement :)

On Christmas eve I usually couldn't get to sleep. I’d be shaking and sweating in my bed hoping that Christmas morning would happen IMMEDIATELY, and after a couple exhausting hours, I'd finally enter theizbrisi 'the' pliz dream land, but not for too long. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, get up, run to the living room, stand in front of the Christmas tree and marvel at the presents underneath it. I'd cover myself with a blanket and wait until my mother woke up and start  her morning routine. She'd see me, tell me off because I didn't sleep at all, but then she'd allow me to open my present.

Christmas presents were always a downer, because my parents are those  who think that they should be of use. Meaning, no toys ('you have enough Lego bricks to play with'), no candies ('bad for your teeth'), no new clothes ('your brother's pants fit you well'). Literally everything that I liked at the moment of growing up (music, books, films etc.) was off the list ('your taste changes rapidly from year to year, we don't plan to satisfy every capricious wish of yours').

Still, that never made my Christmas orgasm less intense – after the manic act of tearing the wrapping paper and excitedly admiring what I'd gotten (usually a pack of socks, a  pair of underwear or a pack of empty video cassettes plus a chocolate), I'd pass out on the sofa in the living room cause the exhaustion of not having slept for more than an hour the night before was just too much for my tiny body.

And look how far I've got. I resisted my desire to open your letter immediately, kept it in my pocket for  almost the whole day until I found the right moment. I even enjoyed procrastinating this crazy letter ceremony.

I know how to harness my excitement, I'm all grown up now. My mother would be so proud. If she only knew.

* * *

'What's on your big mind right now?', Charlie asks me sometimes. Actually, he poses this question every time he sees me fading away, when he notices I stopped perceiving the outside world. It's happened quite often lately.

He knows that there is something on my mind all the time – even whilst I'm brushing my teeth, peeling the potatoes, cleaning the toilet or having my daily tea ceremony. He also knows that these silent conversations are playing out very loud in my head. Sometimes I argue with people, sometimes I'm analyzing an argument I've just read in the newspaper, and sometimes I'm trying to unpack what's behind apparently benign comments creepy posh guests say all the time in the hotel where I work.

Charlie says that it looks fun my little performance. I make faces, I do small gestures with my hands, I nod and shake my head, I sigh and laugh. Usually this imaginary conversing is happening in complete silence, I don't say a word, but sometimes a part of the sentence unawarely slips out of my mouth. These are his favorite moments.

He can be funny too. Often I see his hands moving, his fingers flying over an imaginary piano, even when his mind is occupied with another activity. 'What's the tune?', I ask him in the same manner he asks me what's on my mind. He looks at me with his big eyes, as if he was caught stealing, then smiles, relaxes and sings out the tune that was stuck in his ear. Together we come across like two weirdos, him with his inaudible excercises, me with my invisible conversations. If our friends only knew.

I'd like to share one of the things that happened not so long ago, that I have been coming back to ever since it unfolded. It was one of those Dragha situations, I immediately thought of you the second it happened, instinctively I knew you'd be excited to hear about it.

You remember that amazing flea market next to our old house, right? Well, on the same square there's a swimming pool. Building from the sixties, public showers are on the ground floor, swimming pool is on the third floor. I go there once a week, usually sometime in the early afternoon, just before lunch. At that time of the day two out of six lanes of this 25meter long pool are reserved for swimming courses for preschoolers and kids not older than 10.

I hate kids in swimming pools, especially where the rules are not strict. And of course that in this one pool guards just don't give a fuck. So the kids are allowed to constantly switch between the lanes or jump on other people whilst they are swimming. I get super annoyed cause I have to stop, change the technique and my breathing routine, talk to them and ask them to go to the part of the pool designated to their class if they don't want to be attentive to the rest of the crowd.

So one day I was doing my swimming routine and realized it was getting impossible to swim because the waves were bigger than usual. I stopped and saw a group of at least 25 preschoolers jumping in the water in the most absurd way possible, I guess they had a competition who could do the funniest jump. They were screaming all in the same voice plus throwing all the swimming accessories at each other (boards, fins, paddles, caps, goggles and various other items). But what I found shocking was that the instigator of this infernal pool carnival was their own coach, a thirtysomething straight white guy who was acting as if he was 10 again and it seemed like he was enjoying himself big time.

It all lasted 15-20 minutes, and at first I was shocked. 'The rules have to exist, how on earth can I finish my routine if this is how you teach kids to behave in a pool?' a small nazi in me was already silently arguing with the guy responsible for this bacchanalia.

But then I went to the side, took a small break and remembered one eerie moment I experienced a couple of years before in a public swimming pool in Amsterdam. The situation was almost the same - it was the same part of the day, late morning or early afternoon, 25 meter pool, 2 lanes reserved for preschool swimming classes. It's just that this pool was taken care of - recently built on one of the canals close to centre, everything new, sleek Dutch design, lots of windows, natural light etc. The parents were even allowed to sit next to the pool (they had to were these special shoe covers that surgeons wear in operating rooms) so their kids would be more assured during their first swimming lessons.

Since kids were dressed up normally (meaning outside clothes, they weren't wearing swimsuits), I thought it was one of their first classes where teachers are just giving a preparatory 'theoretical' introduction. But what happened after the presentation was super strange. Kids had to jump in the pool with their clothes on. It was a really weird moment – a group of ten completely dressed six and seven year-olds (wearing pants, shirts, jackets, even sneakers!) struggling to repeat movements they'd just learned from their coach, but this time in the water. After a couple of minutes of struggling, the instructors had to help get them out of the pool because their clothes were wet and heavy, poor kids couldn't carry their weight all by themselves.

I approached one of the parents and asked them what type of course that was and why kids were obliged to swim with their clothes on. I got an answer that it is a non-swimmers course and that the point of the lesson is that kids need to learn what to do if they fall off a boat into the sea.

I kind of got it, but I wasn't convinced. I tried to put myself in their skin – you're six, you don't swim, you are probably afraid of water, it's your first time at the swimming pool, it's a completely new setting, semi-naked people wandering around doing silly exercises in and out of water, and then your teacher tells you to jump in the pool, move your limbs in the manner he showed just a minute ago even though you're wearing heavy wet clothes and you have no idea how to move your hands and legs to keep your head above the water. I was trying to imagine how it must have felt for those poor kids struggling to swim wearing jeans and sneakers.

I mean, it's not a drama, it's not like I'm describing a domestic violence situation. A group of ten six-year-old non-swimmers trying to cope in the water with their clothes on, ça va. Still, what bothered me is that I intuitively realized that none of those kids are ever going to return to the swimming pool after they've finished with their swimming course. They will learn how to swim properly, they will master the technique and what to do in an emergency situation, but they will hate swimming forever, or at least until they decide to fight off their childhood water trauma.

That was the Amsterdam memory that came back to my mind whilst I was on my short break in the pool and looking at the first group of kids, this time 25 six- to ten-year-old going completely wild whilst[izbrisi ovaj whilst pliz]  doing whatever they wanted on one of their first swimming classes. Goggles, boards, fins and other swimming accessories were being thrown everywhere, in and out of water, 10 tiny girls were trying to submerge their coach, and a couple of them were trying to undress him. He was fighting them off, laughing super loud. The rest of the kids were running around, uttering screams I never thought human beings were able to produce, and jumping in the water in the most unimaginable ways. One preschooler even took his swimming trunks off, was parading around completely naked and proudly showing his butt to his friends.

(Btw I remembered one of my colleagues at work telling me that the problem with kids these days is the diet. You can't expect they'd act normal if you feed them with chocolate and Haribo candies all the time. She said of course all the kids are crazy these days, they're sweating sugar, and they have this manic sugar rushes all day long).

Looking at those kids I realized that I'm not going to swimming pool because I want to learn how to react if I fall off a boat into the water, nor because I think it's an useful activity that could help save other people's lives. There's nothing pragmatical pragmatic  about it - I just like swimming because it makes me feel good. As simple as that.

If swimming teacher that was having fun whilst fighting off the oversugared over sweetened  hyperactive girls that were trying to undress him was by any chance trying to do the same thing any of the existing swimming pools in Amsterdam, he would be fired in less than a week. His teaching skills just wouldn't be appreciated there. The number of concerned parents who were present on their kids' first swimming class in the swimming pool in Amsterdam was quite astonishing, and lets me think that the class of people who think overparenting is the only way of raising their kids is not growing, but it has become a new normal.

On the contrary, these kids here were just having fun, as simple as that. And I'm sure that at least half of them will come back to the swimming pool on weekends or on their school break. And if only half of those succeed in developing a healthy approach to their bodies, it's a lot already.

At the same time, what they managed to learn during this completely anarchic swimming class is a feeling, one might even say a skill, that their Amsterdam peers will probably never acquire in their whole life. They learned how to overcome their fear of water. The method used might have been completely un-methodical  and unreflected, but it was successful. And i'm sure that in the situation of 'emergency' (in case a kid falls off a sailing boat or off a cruise ship, as one of the parents in Amsterdam told me), a child without fears stands better chance of surviving than the one who got the knowledge in the 'proper' way.

As I have already said, the swimming teacher that lets his THEIR  pupils run around a swimming pool naked whilst throwing swimming accessories at random visitors would have been fired anywhere else but here. Here nobody cares.

2011 was Amsterdam, 2019 is Brussels. It's by no means heaven here. But on that day on my short break in the swimming pool on Place du Jeu de Balle whilst I was watching the most anarchic swimming lesson I've ever seen in my life, a strange, but pleasant feeling got over me. I felt like I know why I'm here and not there.

*  *  *

I don't enjoy art anymore. I really don't. And it's not like I don't try – I go to theatre and galleries as religiously as before, sometimes even a couple of times a week. But it really doesn't work for me as it used to.

It's not a new thing this art disdain, it has been growing in me for awhile now, and I have become aware of it ever since I moved to Brussels. I tried to unpack this aversion in conversations with Charlie. Once he told me that I have to become bourgeois in order to enjoy art again.

I have been coming back to this thought quite often recently. Three weeks ago I saw this piece performed by members of an art organization from Brussels, a safe space where refugees and recent immigrants to the city can work on their artistic ideas and develop them with the help of settled (legally speaking) Belgian citizens. The majority of 15 performers in the show were people of color that are active as artists and participants of various workshops that take place there.

I would love to be able to say that they were performing. It seemed more like they were puppeteering. The thing is, most of the credit for their work went to a white straight Western European guy that usually works as a scenographer (that's what Wikipedia says), but in this piece he was responsible for 'artistic direction'. The show got standing ovation, almost every night apparently. Audiences were praising how daring this piece was, both artistically and politically.

Unfortunately after the piece not a single person that I talked to and that was smitten by its profound political, ecological, and social commitment (this is an actual quote from a panegyric published in one daily newspaper) seemed to be concerned with the fact that performers were paid  merely 10 euros for a show.

A couple of months before, I'm not so far from the place where I recently saw this piece, this time it's a smaller scale program,program;  4 young writers in a relatively unknown studio space are reading excepts excerpts of their work. It was an evening organized by writers themselves, big institutions weren't involved, so I didn't fear that I was going to be confronted with a work of a yet another young Western European maker that was going to change the world with His radical take on art and politics that involves unpaid immigrant labour.

The event went well. Writers seemed humble, well aware of their vulnerability, especially in a situation where they needed to perform in front of an audience, no matter the fact that there were no more than 20 people in the room and that they knew most of the faces that came to their reading.

There was this guy, in his late 20s, curtain haircut straight from the 90s, tiny round glasses, acute level of social awkwardness. I could barely hear him even though he was using a microphone. Before he started reading he gave out a couple of copies of his publication so we could follow his poem in written form. Thin books he shared with us looked a bit like anarchist zines I used to read when I was a teenager.

His poem was long and senseless, and in the book he was playing with different fonts and typefaces. It was fun hearing his timid voice and at the same time following it in written form, realizing how he graphically organized his text.

I didn't dislike the show, it didn't make me angry or sad. But during and after it, I had only one question on my mind. As much as I wanted, I just I couldn't get it out of my head all night long. 'How do you pay your bills?', I wanted to ask him. 'Do you poems cover your rent?', was on repeat on my mind after every sentence he uttered. I went home thinking about the connection between the amount of money on artist's bank accounts and the type of art they're putting out in the world.

Fuck, I'm becoming really bitter, my mind is corrupted with these sinister ideas, I thought the next day. Fuck, I thought the next day, that I'm becoming really bitter, that my mind is corrupted with these sinister ideas. But then, I gave it a second thought and I realized that there was something in his lecture that made me think of this guy's bank account. There was something present in his voice, a specific quality of his behaviour, the way he was holding himself, his pronunciation, that made me think that this guy has never spent one single day of his life having a job outside of claustrophobic art world. Not a single day spent serving people behind the bar, counting money at the till, sorting products on the shelves in a supermarket, or chopping onions in the restaurant. Not a single day of experience that marks the last 10 years of my life, ever since I left my uni.

Let me be clear, I am not cynical. I'm not retreating to irony. This is not where my mind's at now. Nor I would like to personally attack this guy for what he is or how much money he has. I'm more trying to understand how am I supposed to connect to his work having in mind all the differences that structure and organize our everyday life? How to empathize with his poetic abstraction, how to enjoy in his imagination knowing that the way he makes use of his own time bears no resemblance to how my daily schedule looks like?

Polyamorous Love Song, the book I'm sending with this letter, didn't drastically change my opinions on art. It didn't make me a believer again nor did it give me reasons to fight off my lapse from art grace. Why is it here in the same package as this letter (aside from the fact that it's a part of Jasna's project :)) is that there's this thought by the end of the book that might help me in formulating why I feel what I feel recently.  

Pop songs that we know of are all monogamous, no matter how open-minded the artist is. Serge Gainsbourg and Britney Spears have one thing in common: the both wrote songs (yes, it might be hard for you to believe, but Britney was involved in the process of creation of her own music) whose addressee is one single person. 'Love songs are propaganda for monogamy', as Mr. Wren (better said, one of the narrators in the book) would say.

Imagine a world were where  love songs are not monogamous, I read a couple of pages later. Envisage an universe where pop songs are dedicated to various individuals. How would that change our perception of reality? If we lived in a possible world where pop songs we hear on the radio, sing in our showers, stream and share are not dedicated to one single person, but to a lot of different people at the same time, would our feelings be shaped differently because we'd have a language for something that exists outside of daily perceptions of the contemporary reality we are living in at the moment?

I remember well, in 2012 I saw a movie Weekend by Andrew Haigh. Have you seen it? The main characters are two guys, late 20s, early 30s, one is artist, other pool lifeguard, they hook up one night in a gay bar, start hanging out. The plot is set in England (I can't remember where), and doesn't cover a long stretch of time, only a couple of days. It mostly consists of their conversations about love, life, sex, coming out, gay marriages etc and their unimportant everyday life rituals like drinking coffee or cycling around.

I didn't experience a massive catharsis during the film, but I can still recall that a deep feeling of sadness hit me after I came back home from the cinema. The morning after the feeling was still there. It wasn't suffocating, but for the whole week after seeing the film whatever I was up to I could sense a feeling of soft and profound fragility that permeated all my actions. A type of vulnerable sensitivity impregnated my whole being.

I knew what instigated this state, and I was aware that it started after I've seen the film. But I didn't feel like it was one of the top ten films I've ever seen. I tried to analyze why I'd been so moody and realized that that was probably the first time in my life that on big screen I've seen a queer film where one of the gay characters doesn't die, isn't beaten up, castrated or raped,  isn't ostracised by their community and where gay relationship isn't portrayed like a fucking war zone. The story of Weekend is simple – two gay guys hook up and spend couple of days together, eating, fucking, cooking, drinking coffee, chatting. Of course that there are consequences to my emotional wellbeing if gay reality in every film I'd seen until 2012 is depicted as tragedy.

Imagination is a powerful tool. And I'm not talking just about the under- and mis-representation of sexual and gender minorities on big screens. It's also about the fact that in 2019 I find absolutely necessary that we start treating art spaces as safe(r) spaces. Violent imagination in art works i'm seeing lately reproduces and reinforces the same power logic that exists outside of art world. The more time I spend finding the examples of an influential nature of aesthetic experience, and its complicity in the formation of how we perceive the world, how impregnated our minds are with what we've seen on TV and heard on the radio, the more I find non-negotiable the idea that artists should be accountable for the artistic universe that they present, and that only in safe(r) spaces a different type of creative imagination has the potential to emerge.

I don't think my art disdain will merely disappear once I become bourgeois (though I am glad to announce that this might finally happen quite soon). Even with more money on my bank account I will think that there are theatre makers and choreographers whose works are producing serious damage to our collective imagination, who don't recognize that this sacred ideal of Western European romantic tradition called freedom of artistic expression has it's its  clear borders.

This idea from the last chapter of the book that pop songs not only  depict but they also create is one  I find truly revolutionary. Yes, we do need polyamorous love songs to change our boring monogamous reality :) But it's not just about non-monogamous pop songs, it's about the all forms of possible lives and existences that we sometimes successfully, sometimes tragically, but definitely very intuitively, are trying to articulate in our charged 2019.

Read the book and pass it on please. I'm sure you'll find someone interesting to share your thoughts with.

What about the swimming pool lesson? I don't know. I had a thought about the alternative ways of fighting my own fears of becoming creative being again and another thought about my new bank card, and another one about the updating the definition of the working class and another one on the different shades of whiteness and Western European wannabe radicals, but then I totally lost the connection with the rest of the letter :) Next time, I promise.

How's your new cyborg life? I want to hear everything. Come for a visit please, it's about time.

I love you, hope to see you soon XX p

ps Jasna's explanation is here! More on http://dearjacobwren.tumblr.com/

'So, I am giving this book to you, as a present. I am giving it to you, but on one condition. Or actually two. The first one is that you read it. The second is that, upon reading it, you do the same as I did: you think of a friend who you think might like it, who you think will be a nice addition to our small community, you give it to him/her as a present and along with it, write a letter to explain why you think this person and this book might go so well along. Then you give them the letter and the book, and you forward the letter to me, so I could publish it here.

You decide on the length of the letter, I am just asking for the language to be English so that more people could understand it… and, of course, at the end of the letter you make a small note about this principle so that when your friend is done with reading, he or she can send it to the next person, including a personalized letter, so that this circle could go on expanding…'

[thehappymessproject]

81/100 - Giving ourselves focus and love by choosing one word for the year

This is very exciting for me to write about : I’ve never really done it. 

A little bit more than five years ago, I just had discovered the incredible work of Dr. Brene Brown on vulnerability and courage, and it simply blew my mind. I felt like I was reading about one of the most important things I could ever educate myself on. 

The books and her TED talks already had changed my daily life in subtle touches, but I wanted more. I also knew I needed more. I was afraid to forget about it in the next few months and hated the thought. So, I took some time to reflect, and over a couple of weeks, came to a big decision (especially for me who used to be commitment phobic in so many ways).

I would spend a year learning courage.

It became one of the most exciting years of my life. For me, learning how to be brave was essentially about saying yes to a lot of things I would have usually say no to out of fear, and no to a lot of things that would bring me comfort in the moment, but preventing me to do things that really mattered to me in the long run. 

I tried out a lot of activities I had never tried, but felt curious about like climbing, sewing, baking pastries... 

I paid a lot of attention to those moments where I would feel afraid, ashamed or uncomfortable, and pushed myself to be brave in my way of dealing with them. 

Choosing to tell a friend that I was feeling hurt and set a boundary rather than silencing myself in hope it doesn’t happen anymore. 

When really down, channelling more energy to do anything that would bring myself self-loving comfort rather numbing comfort. 

Breaking off relationships that felt depleting to me.

It was a tiring year, sure. But it was also one of the most empowering ones. Each time I would choose the brave path instead of the comfortable one, I would feel stronger and more centred. Embodying the experience of bravery, training those courage muscles. 

I realised at the end of the year, when I was feeling really sad about seeing what I called my brave year coming to a year, that I didn’t want to give it up, but I also didn’t want to repeat it as is either. I also noticed that overall, being brave for me had a lot to do with exploring my creativity. 

So I decided to make the next year my creative year. I had so much fun! 

I started taking way more photos, tried to learn guitar and piano for a while, spent a few months sewing like a crazy person, I wrote more that year than in the decade before, and towards the third trimester of my year devoted to creativity, started to paint with watercolours and do the lettering you can now see on my artsy Instagram account. 

Both activities were those bringing me the most joy while allowing me to let my guard down : when painting, I was less attacked by the voices in my head trying to bring me down and discourage me. (ah, the joy of defence mechanisms bullying us...) I was finding more easily ways to bypass them than in any other setting. 

I noticed that creating (and doing anything that mattered to me in my life) was only possible for me when I would take good care of myself. When I would commit to loving myself everyday by showing up. But self-care was so hard for me... 

So... Yeah you guessed it, I took my practice to a new ground by declaring the following year my self-care year. 

I had just discovered the existence of the Find what feels good channel on Youtube a few weeks before, I had ended my creative year with The artist’s way, a 8 weeks program using Julia Cameron’s wonderful book to discover or recover our inner artist, which had taught me how to journal in a way that would connect myself to my heart better than ever. And I had dabbled for a few years on and off with meditation. I had all the tools lying before me already. 

As often when we live an intentional life, the Universe (or call it luck if you’re more comfortable) was helping in subtle ways that can only be noticed when we pay attention to the opportunities we are presented with, and allow ourselves to take them. 

So I did just that. I finally found the courage to take better care of myself and making it a priority. That year was full of softness and whole heartedness. It felt like discovering the essence of who I was. 

Since I was struggling with commitment (still), I focused on one self-loving activity at the time. A few weeks mostly meditating. A few weeks mostly doing yoga. A few weeks getting back to journaling. I thought I could choose which activity I would keep, but realised they all were giving me so much, and yet so differently that I wanted to keep them all. 

I would still create more and more, and take my work as a psychologist to another level, and was struggling to make everything fit in my daily time. Now that I knew better what kind of life I wanted, I felt stuck at making it work as a whole.

So I dedicated last year to finding Balance. I loved it so much. It was like deepening everything I had built in the previous three years. The courage, the creative energy and the love. 

It taught me how to be more flexible and finding way to make things stick, one step at a time, one day at a time and to honour my pace. I set up a few challenges to help on the way. Strengthened my morning routine that felt easier and more necessary than an evening one (currently working on that). 

I explored how my love for art, psychology and writing could be intertwined. It felt like coming home to myself. 

This “year” actually took a little bit more time. I used to choose my word of the year at the end of summer. But last September, I felt stuck. I had just moved to the other side of the globe (another marvellous consequence of all that personal inner journey), felt completely thrown out of balance and quite depleted. 

Then, a few weeks ago, after a few months finding my footing back, it was suddenly obvious. What I struggled with and had to practice the most lately was letting go : finding ways to trust myself, my intuition and the process. I’d say in short : trusting the universe and finding the flow. 

So this year will be my year of flow.

I started by deciding that my practice could now fit better at the beginning of the year rather the school year, the end of the year being a perfect time to reflect and gather our bearings, taking stock. 

When I’m down, finding flow is about giving myself the time and space necessary to heal, letting go of the shoulds and musts. 

When I’m really happy, it’s more about finding pace, not over doing it. 

It is already teaching me how to let go of things, people and spaces that were really important at a time, but became depleting over time. I have never ever felt as free and can’t wait to see more of what this year is going to teach me. 

Choosing one word to devote every year to has with no doubt changed my whole life from the inside out. Like a soothing lighthouse in the dark, it gives me a focus point to always rely on. 

I am never feeling like time passed by without my awareness anymore, being intentional makes time pass more slowly and mindfully. It is helping me to remind myself over and over what is important, and what gets in the way and distract me. It is teaching me more about myself than I ever felt possible. It is allowing me to create the life I really want. 

If reading that essay inspired you to find your own word, I would love nothing more than to know which one you chose and maybe why f you would feel comfortable sharing. 

Here are a few questions that can help to start : What are you feeling like you lack of? What would your ideal 2019 be devoted to? What is preventing you from living your best life right now?

Write your answers down and any word that come up too : it will help you a lot to make it real, tangible. The right one for you will spark something in your body when you write it or if you start making art around it. Let yourself feel it, and trust it. Your heart knows.

See you soon,  Love,  L. 

[gibsonmusicart]

Top 5 Reasons Songwriters Procrastinate – And How To Fix Them

1) GENERAL OVERWHELM

This is such a common perception of people’s day-to-day lives. We’re just too busy, there’s too much to do, too much to organise. But this is a myth. It might help to see this problem as a silly character: “General Overwhelm”, an army officer, likes to convince us that we just can’t do it, that we’re simply not strong enough to forge a path through the to-do lists and get the vitally important, meaningful stuff done. But old General Overwhelm is lying to us. It’s all about perception and taking small steps towards having more control over both what we do and how we interpret what we are dealing with.

If you can reframe how you see a difficult situation, you gain the upper hand. For example, if you’d like to get some songs completed but you’ve got a part time job with erratic hours, set yourself a deadline of how long you’ll stay in that job. Work towards a goal of becoming self-employed. Also, establish what financial goal you want to achieve. Once you know what you’re aiming for and your cut-off date, you know that this circumstance is under your control. Secondly, if your timetable changes constantly, look at where you can either negotiate to have some regular hours, perhaps one day a week and set aside even just a couple of hours as your regular songwriting time. Once you have one small thing in place, you can start to fit in more writing. It’s like being lost at sea in a storm. If you can get yourself a compass, a radio or at least see the horizon, you’ve got a hope in hell of being able to navigate your way back home.

2) RESISTANCE TO STRUCTURE

The solution to the first problem may already have triggered this second one. Are you the kind of writer who waits for ‘the muse’ to show up? Do you resist the idea of scheduling specific time slots for songwriting? If so, you’d better ask yourself if you want to write as a hobby or professionally. If it’s the latter, you need to be able to write regardless of whether the elusive “muse” shows up. You need to be able to establish a time to write and stick to it. I’m reminded of the quotation, “I sit down to the piano regularly at nine o’ clock in the morning and Mesdames les Muses have learned to be on time for that rendezvous.” -Pyotr Tchaikovsky

There are other ways around this problem of structure if you have allocated time for writing and you don’t seem to be getting anywhere, but this is the first thing to put in place. Merely by having established a habit of regular writing time, you’ll notice that the likelihood of your actually writing new songs increases.

3) LACK OF CLARITY ON THE GOAL

This is a really common problem. It’s so easy to have a huge goal that is wonderful and exciting and you’re all fired up to get started, but the completion of it involves some kind of miracle. Like for example, writing and recording an album. Writing an album’s worth of songs might not be that difficult, but getting them professionally recorded, depending on which instruments you want to use and the nature of your own personal studio set-up, could potentially be expensive. How do you find the money to do it? This is where a question, a mere innocent question can bring all your plans toppling down. The key is not to ask the question with a sense of fear or resentment as your brain tells you, “I can’t. It’s impossible.” It’s just asking a question. Why not get into the habit of asking, “I wonder if…?” or “I wonder how I might…?” with an open mind and a curious spirit? That way, you won’t be placing judgement on the answer, which will make things lighter, easier, more feasible. Don’t let the final stages of the plan to reach your goal stop you from taking the first few steps towards it. Keep in mind the old adage, “Leap, and the net will appear.”  Why not entertain the possibility that by starting out towards your goal, you will find the resources, support and energy you need to get to the end? The most important thing to do is START. And then keep in mind,  “One. Step. At. A. Time”.

4) YOUR ATTITUDE TO CREATIVE WORK

Were you brought up being told that playing an instrument ‘won’t pay the rent’? I certainly was. I remember having taught myself to play a few things on the piano at the first opportunity I got at the age of 17, living as a lodger in a new home where there was a piano. I was so proud of myself. I’d worked out enough by ear that I could play a few things that felt strong, interesting and soothing. One day I summoned the courage to walk into a cafe that had a piano to ask if I could play. I played a few pieces for the handful of people sitting at their quaint little tables, some improvised, some practised, and the people nearest to the piano thanked me and said they enjoyed it. Newly thrilled with what seemed like such an enormous achievement to a girl who’d never grown up with a piano, nor had had even one lesson, I excitedly told my Mum all about it. Her response? “Well, that’s not going to pay the rent, is it?” Consequently, I spent the next 10 years or so, not only paying for piano lessons out of my own pocket but anxiously trying to prove I had a right to be a musician even though it wasn’t earning me any money.

This kind of pressure – to earn money from music or to prove to an authority figure that you have a right to be a creative person of any kind – is stifling. For most people, it’s what sucks the life out of the joy you initially had about your creative work and for some, even forces you to quit. Whatever happened to writing and recording music for the joy of the expression or the thrill of creating something from nothing? Surely the whole point of doing something creative is that it’s an expression of your own thoughts and feelings and there’s a purpose in expressing that because other people who are most like you can relate to it. The moral of this story is – take a step back when it all gets too serious. Why does writing music have to prove anything? Why do you have to earn money from it right away? Does it all have to be so SERIOUS?! Chances are, this seriousness has a stranglehold on your creativity and that’s why you can’t write a song at the moment. How about writing a silly song about a platypus instead? And maybe you can even cleverly make it not about a platypus as such, but about being a misfit. Wouldn’t that be FUN? Fun could well be something that has been largely underrated for far too long.

5) PUSHING YOURSELF TOO FAR

This somewhat follows on from number 4 in that once you’ve put so much effort into TRYING to write a song or get an album project off the ground, you can sometimes find yourself too exhausted to actually write something interesting or heartfelt. There needs to be room for you to look after yourself as well. It’s no good working yourself into the ground until you make yourself ill. You have to look after yourself as well and keep your energy levels up enough to support your goal. Taking time out to have fun, do something different for the sake of breaking up the monotony of a daily routine, or just taking an evening out to have a relaxing bath and an early night could be the easy solution to your writing block. It’s amazing what enough sleep and a bit of self-care can do to make you feel energised and ready to write something spectacular. This may run a little bit counter to the first point on the list, but every rule has its exception and every routine must occasionally be broken.

All in all, there’s a balance to be struck between having a routine and having freedom, putting in the hours and yet not taking it all too seriously. If you can look after your body with regular exercise and healthy meals, that goes a long way in itself to allowing you the leeway to have a timetable that changes, a tour schedule for a month that seems overwhelming or a minimal income to start out on. It doesn’t sound very rock ’n’ roll, but I suspect, this is the kind of thing people like Mick Jagger or Kate Bush now do but don’t talk about in interviews because it would ruin their rock/pop prowess. Maybe it’s precisely this aim to put even just a few new good habits in place that keeps songwriters going beyond a two-year career to span decades. It’s certainly worth a try.

Post by Rowen Bridler

Source: MusicClout .com

Check out The Melody Of Success - Music Career Blog - Information, Articles and More! - You can find me on Drooble .com

[onefamilyblog]

The Importance Of Family Dinners And Ideas For Dinner Time With Kids

Let’s discuss the importance of family dinners and celebrate the benefits of eating dinner together as a family!  I will share with you some statistics to help get you motivated to make family dinners a priority. I will also share some wonderful tips from Naomi Davis, the popular writer, entrepreneur and creator of “Love Taza,” on how to get the most out of dinner time with kids. There are even some ideas for family dinner recipes at the end of this post. It is a great time to take the Family Dinners Challenge and commit to making family dinners part of your family routine!

family dinners Benefits Of Eating Dinner Together As A Family Eating as family is so much more than just eating- it is time for family bonding.  The benefits of family time are many and a family dinner is the perfect time to come together on a consistent basis.  Shared family meals means you talk to each other, you look each other in the eye, and hopefully, you are thankful together for the shared meal and shared time.  Shared family dinner time is something that becomes easy the more you do it.  I know that it seems like chess club, flag football practice, and piano lessons can sometimes get in the way but when you remember the importance of family dinner, it will be easier to make it happen.

If you put away distractions and take time to be fully present during your family dinner time, you will notice a huge difference. It is about creating a family tradition of coming together daily for a positive experience. It does not technically have to be family dinner that is the shared meal but that is what works best for most families. If you have an atypical work schedule, you may try to make it family breakfast. It is the routine that matters so you can all look forward to sharing some time together and reconnecting over a meal.

importance of family dinners Importance Of Family Dinner Statistics Sure they are nice but are family dinners important? Yes! Shared family dinners show a high correlation to children that eat more fruits and veggies, are more willing to try new foods, and are less likely to be overweight. But that is not all, studies have shown that kids who eat with their families frequently are less likely to get depressed, consider suicide, or to develop an eating disorder, according to health.com. Wow.  Are these correlations making you think you could probably fit in a shared family meal a few more nights a week? There are even more reasons to share a meal together as a family- doing so at least five times a week drastically lowers a teen’s chance of smoking, drinking, and using drugs (CASA Report).  School performance tends to go up and divorce rates tend to be lower in families that eat together.  

Anne Fishel, executive director of the Family Dinner Project, shared on the Harvard Graduate School of Education Podcast that “80% of teenagers say that family dinner is the time of the day they’re most likely to talk to their parents.” Staying in the know about what your teens are up to? Priceless! She also adds, “Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.” Again, wow.

As you can see, the importance of family dinners really can not be overlooked!

eating dinner together as a family Fun Ideas For Family Dinner Time I am so happy to have Naomi Davis, who has been named a Forbes Top 10 Parenting Influencer, share with us some fabulous ideas for dinner time and how to get the most out of it. She is also the author of the brand new book A Coat of Yellow Paint: Moving Through the Noise to Love the Life You Live (April 6, 2021, Harper Horizon). In the book, Naomi shares a collection of intimate and vulnerable essays that explore being a wife, raising five children, and living an authentic life, in her trademark candid style. So without further ado, the rest of this section on fun ideas for family dinner is by Naomi Davis.

Five Ways I’ve Gotten More Out Of Meal Time With My Kids by Naomi Davis

There’s an entire chapter in my new book, A Coat of Yellow Paint, all about how loud and messy our dinner table can be. As a mother to little ones, you might read that sentence and think, I already have a loud and messy dinner table in my own home, I don’t know if I’m interested in reading about another. And I feel you.  One loud and messy dinner table is plenty!

But what I explore in this particular essay in my book, is the magic often found at the dinner table, amidst the smeared marinara sauce and noodles splashed across the floor— when we use this dedicated meal time to grow our family bond and interact in meaningful ways. After all, despite the days feeling long, this chapter of life is incredibly short. And utilizing our minutes together around a dining table, where there are limited outside distractions, just might make the loud dinner table your favorite dinner table! (Most days.)

I’d love to share with you a couple of ideas and prompts my husband and I have found especially helpful when it comes to engaging our kids around the table.

Designated Jobs First, we give everyone a designated job around meal time. It might mean setting napkins on each plate or helping Papa mix the pasta in the kitchen. But as each family member has a specific task, we feel a little more united in our efforts before the meal even begins! And having that spirit of unity as we go into what can often feel like a battle (I mean, pleeeeeaaaase don’t throw your broccoli and keep touching your brother with your spoon!), it helps!  

Dinner Conversation Starters Second, we have found conversation starters with fun prompts the key to making our loud dinner table one where everyone loves to be. The table grows still as we explore feelings and share stories based on different categories: If you had a superpower for a day, what would it be? What is the greatest invention? Pretend you are popcorn popping!  We also learn some of the most endearing facts about our kids and each other as we build upon each answer. A great place to start is with an open-ended question around a topic a family member is interested in. Bringing their imaginations into the conversation only sets you up for success and some good laughs, too.

Dinner Games Third, a game at mealtime can keep everyone in their seats successfully and possibly even linger as the meal comes to an end! It doesn’t need to be a physical game or include tangible objects, but sharing riddles (or making up your own!), playing word games like Telephone or the Yes or No game (can you make it through the meal without saying yes or no?!), usually ends in laughter. Sometimes designating someone in the family to hide a particular utensil as the meal progresses without anyone noticing is also so much fun!

Family Dinner Questions Fourth, have everyone come to the table with a question the family can explore together.  While we usually have a “no phones at the table” rule in an attempt to keep tech away from our mealtimes, we make an exception every once in a while for a special topic like “why are panda bears black and white” or “how many types of lizards are there?” These kinds of questions lead to incredible discussions where we all take something away and while doing so, the chaos is kept to a minimum!

Kind Words And fifth, taking turns sharing something we love about another family member is one of my favorite dinner table prompts. We used to reserve this for birthdays, but honestly, nothing bad ever comes from sharing openly what you love about someone you love, and I think it should happen more often than every 365 days. If I can help facilitate a little bit of a bond between my children by way of kind words and affirmations shared every single day around our table, I think we might be building something special. I encourage families everywhere to share something they love about another family member at every meal.  

While I certainly hope these suggestions or ideas are helpful during the next loud dinner table experience when you aren’t sure you can reign in the madness that has commenced, I also hope you know you aren’t alone in the dinner table mayhem (coming to you from my own chaotic dinner table where the madness is often maddening!). And like me, I hope you can find ways to celebrate this short chapter of life that messy and loud and totally out of control most days. Because someday those tiny bodies will have extra curriculars and friends and outside activities that will inevitably pull them away from the loud dinner table. And while each season is beautiful in its own right, I have a feeling we might long for this one. And so while we have it here before us, may we take full advantage of its magic, embrace the mess and the loudness, and enjoy making the memories around our very loud dinner tables.

[my-job-is-to-fangirl]

This is such a random post, but I watch a lot of youtube and it’s the best distraction/ way to pass time. I watch a variety of channels, and I’m subscribed to over 80 channels, and have about 1900 videos in my watch later list soooo :))) enjoy. No particular order but I’m doing 20 channels because 2020 (which needs to end right now). I’m going to link my favourite video of theirs as well, so you’ll have something to start with if you’re interested.

fashion and lifestyle

1. bestdressed

I already talked about her in my light content to consume while in quarantine post, but I’ll do it again. She is hands down my favourite youtuber. I had this phase where I was watching clothing hauls nonstop for some reason, and then I found Ashley’s channel. I couldn’t stop watching her videos. They’re fun, they have actual content, and she talks about stuff like how youtubers make money, and she gives the whole truth. Her fashion videos are so inspiring, I love her style, I love how she pairs things that you normally wouldn’t and her favourite word (say it with me, kids) juxtaposition of pieces that would ‘normally’ not be paired together.

She puts in so much effort into filming her videos, and even more into editing them. She doesn’t just do fashion videos, she does apartment makeovers, real talks, everything, but overall a fashion channel. I’ve seen her channel suddenly blow up and I think she had 500k or 600k subscribers when I started, and now she has 3.1 million :’) I want to raid her wardrobe for her thrifted pieces. Anyway, here’s my video pick(s) for her channel-

how to look cute when you’re out of f*cks

the ultimate guide to closet essentials

2. Yoora Jung

I wait for her videos more than any other channel, she just has the most relatable content because her days comprise of (other than her work, which is a lot) scrolling through instagram, watching youtube, snacking, rolling around in bed and procrastinating- I love her. Also her editing is on another level, all her intros are unique and fun. She can literally sit in a chair and talk about grapes for 40 minutes and I’d still watch. Also when she speaks in Korean, its the cutest thing ever.

I followed Jungkook’s workout routine for a week // getting fit with yoora season 1 ep 1

Waking up at 5 AM for a week in college    (she works really hard as you can see. I’d never have the motivation to get up at 5)

3. ohnonina

neeeeeeen < 3 Watching her videos makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not to mention she gives a virtual hug at the end of every video :’) She does GRWM’s, k-pop, fashion, art, day in the life, studying and bullet journal videos. Everytime she hits a new 100k+ number of subscribers, she does a cooking with nina, those might be my favourite ones because she always does a korean dish. Also not really studying with nina I LOVE THOSE.

study korean with me but i actually study intensely | not really studying with nina 14

i made tteokbokki 떡볶이 (korean spicy rice cakes) | cooking with nina

4. ur mom ashley

She does fashion videos, but other content as well. She does thrift hauls, dressing out of her comfort zone type videos, and a lot of content with her siblings and boyfriend. Honestly, it’s a crackhead time when they’re around, especially her younger brother. She also makes what I eat in a day videos and I genuinely haven’t seen any other vegan person at least try to eat foods other than avocado and kale. She makes some nice recipes and eats good portions like a normal person, I really appreciate that.

what i eat in a week as a college student (vegan!!)

REVAMPING MY WARDROBE for 2020 (Princess Polly Haul)

5. Nava Rose

Firstly, I’d like to point out how much I love listening to her talk, I don’t know what it is but I love it. She has some great DIY videos, it is a DIY/ fashion haul/ hacks channel so ya. She does a lot of revamping/upcycling videos where she transforms men’s oversized clothes and makes them cute. I was very inspired by her and I did some myself! She has an amazing sense of style I wish I had some of her clothes.

50 WAYS TO STYLE DENIM | easy everyday outfit ideas!

6. Nuria Ma

She’s eighteen, lives alone some of the time and is possibly one of the hardest working people I’ve seen, juggling school and youtube. When I started watching her I think she just turned 17 and I was going mad wondering how someone could be so organized and put together at 17. She makes her own food- three meals every day, works out, studies for hours, does youtube, and what not. She’s genuinely amazing, also look how pretty she is.

KOREAN FASHION HAUL | Yesstyle

7. Erna Limdaugh

I found her channel only a few months ago, her videos are so calming and soothing to watch. She does a lot of day in the life type vlogs with her friends, morning/night routines and unboxings. She lives in Seoul that’s how I found her when I was looking for Korea content. Her fashion sense is amazing, and her cat, Yuri, is adorable *_*

A DAY IN MY LIFE – WHAT I EAT IN A DAY Life in Seoul | Erna Limdaugh

8. Jenn Im

I don’t watch her makeup and beauty videos because I don’t know much about makeup, but her vlogs, fashion, and book videos are great. I feel like she’s a wise older sister that I don’t have =p I especially love her cooking videos where she makes Korean dishes that her mom used to make. She has her own clothing line too, she does some promo videos and stuff, they’re cool.

What I Eat in a Day Easy Korean Recipes

9. Michelle Choi 최 혜림 (the seoul search)

She deserves so many more followers. Productive q u e e n. My friend and I are always discussing how the hell she can be so productive. She studies, does freelance design work, does assignments, cooks, does youtube, cleans, what is she?? Her videos make me want to be productive but instead I sit and watch more of them =)

(daily vlog) Finals Season: lots of coffee, cooking, + workspace tour!

food

10. Nino’s Home

Really yummy looking food, the babiest cat in a myriad of sweaters, and the funniest captions ever. No jokes, he’s truly hilarious. He has some really interesting recipes too, I think he takes from all over Asia, there’s a great variety of sweet and savoury.

Fried Milk Melt in Your Mouth

11. Maangchi

I legitimately call her maangchi aunty that’s how much I love her. Look how cute she is!!!!!! She has the happiest videos, they can brighten your mood in no time. Although many of her videos include meat, I still watch them so I can perhaps sub the meat for something else. She has a different headband/ head gear in every video, watch for that! I have tried three of four of her vegetarian recipes and I love them. I’ll link my favourite one, it’s become a staple at my house.

Vegetable Pancake (Yachaejeon: 야채전)

12. Pick Up Limes

Her videos are aesthetic, her recipes are easy, her voice can calm everything. It’s a vegan channel. I’m not vegan, I’m vegetarian so I can use her recipes by substituting whatever I want.

Cozy drinks to warm you up

13. Wil Yeung – Cook with Confidence

Also a vegan channel. I love his simple cooking and his style of narration. He doesn’t overdo it with the voiceover, he just says ‘medium sized pan’, ‘2 cups water’, ‘stir’. I’ve tried his gochujang and chili oil videos, they’re so good. I had to make do with what I had but still really good.

HOW TO MAKE CHILI OIL ***EASY 5 MIN RECIPE*** CHINESE HOT SAUCE

14. Zoe 조에

Her videos are so pretty to watch!! She works at her mom’s cafe so the videos are vlogs of that. They have beautiful desserts and drinks too. There’s always a montage where she shows their canning machine it’s mesmerizing xD

prettiest dessert cafe vlog on earth | Cinematography, Zoe, Blessroll (this was the first video that I watched)

Art

15. AmandaRachLee

Bullet journal videos, daily vlogs, productive days, organizing, doodling videos. I started bullet journaling in July 2018 and I follow her themes even now. I think I might have skipped two or three themes because I didn’t like them but bullet journaling is a huge part of my routine and I don’t know what I did before that. Also it makes me feel better about my stationery addiction when I watch her videos. She’s worse than me so I feel good. I love her stationery hauls.

Korea Stationery Haul! (HUGE Giveaway!)

16. cup of jasmien

The one and only art student I am subscribed to. She is SO talented, her paintings are great, but I appreciate her pen and ink pieces the most. Her videos are usually paint with me’s, a week/day of art school or travel vlogs.

before art school went online haha…

17. milkcloud

milk and cloud are two sisters xD They have painting videos, vlogs, lots of unboxings. Very nice to play in the background while doing something. Also they play k-pop piano covers for their videos.

finding joy in little things / a vlog

Books

18. BookswithEmilyFox

I watched a lot of book youtubers and she is the most honest one out there. If she hates a book she will say h a t e not put it lightly by saying it was okay. I read some of the books she recommended and I actually loved them, so I put her here because I can trust her reviews.

JANUARY BOOK HAUL 2020 + HUGE BOOKOUTLET UNBOXING! || Books with Emily Fox

Random

19. Banana Milk

This is so random but has provided me with several hours (minutes) of entertainment. She makes NCT crack videos they’re brilliant I swear. Please wait for the end of the video for the outro it’s the best part. Linked my favourite video.

Literally just NCT ruining twilight for two minutes

20. Buzzfeed Unsolved Network

Do I even have to talk about them?? I can binge their videos for hours, especially the supernatural ones. They’re freaking scary but I will watch them all. They go to real haunted places with their cool equipment (and holy water). I’ll link two of the ones that creeped me out the most.

Return To The Horrifying Winchester Mansion

3 Horrifying Cases Of Ghosts And Demons

    my favourite youtube channels (20) This is such a random post, but I watch a lot of youtube and it's the best distraction/ way to pass time.

[abakersquest]

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – FOR TOMORROW WE DIE

There were cheers as the God’s Fortune made port on the northern coast of Galaga Island, the people there had witnessed the nearby naval battle and the destruction of the ghost ships at the hands of the small band of heroes. As the crowd clamored and questioned, Blackeye lifted Wally up onto his shoulder suddenly and told those gathered to spread the word that Kota had returned and the new Flarebearer, with whom he now traveled, was fighting back. Wally tried his best not to flinch at the cheer that rung out, wouldn’t do for the hero of the people to cringe when they celebrate good news. Even louder and more copious questions and comments followed, any mention that Wally seemed rather small to be a hero was quickly drowned out by special offers and request to shake his hand or see the Flare. Blackeye shouted for the amassed throng to ‘clear off’ and it seemed his timber shaking demand was happily heeded, the sailors, traders, and citizens went back to their daily routines with a few parting thanks and hopes that the new heroes would stop by their stalls and shops.

With the crowd thinned out, Wally and his friends finally got their first clear view of Galaga, the largest of the Icthy Isles. It was said that Galaga Island sat at the exact center of Mondia, and if not, it was damn close to it. As such, everything here was the bizarre offspring of every culture on the planet. The people lived and worked amidst the almost organic sprawl of businesses, homes, and warehouses that all blossomed around a central area where an ancient fountain depicting Old Jab sat. The buildings barely grew over four stories and were constructed primarily of wood, their squat and flexible nature a necessity due to the storms that would douse the island frequently, to make no mention of weightier buildings sinking into the islands soft substrata.

As the young heroes walked toward the nearest avenue, an assault of scents and sights greeted their senses at full force. All manner of strange creatures and unique foods were on display for sale, rental, and otherwise according to the din of shouts from vendors of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities.

“Well!” Captain Blackeye shouted from behind them, tearing them away from the call of exploration. “You lot are gonna have two days here, while me an’ Polly go check on a few things, get the Fortune ready, and fill our hold with what we need.” He handed Wally a small bag that made a strange sort of jangle as he handled it. “Those’re Shilds. S’what they use for money here, as the local stall jockeys don’t take to exchange rates. It should be enough for you young’ns to pick up whatever y’ need, ‘cause once we make way to Sauro, ain’t no more stops we can make aside from nappin’ on the open ocean in shifts. So if you’re feelin’ under prepared or wanna get somethin’ you been waitin’ on done, now’s the time.”

The captain saluted the group before turning back toward the ship, where Polly waved a goodbye.

“I suppose then,” Hector said, amiably resting his hand on Wally’s shoulder. “It’s time you and I were properly suited. We’ve been dressed as wandering travelers for far too long. You and I need armor if we’re going to be facing this kind of danger any longer. For fitting and forging with a decent enough smithy, that could take a day or two, so we’d best get a move on now.”

Wally looked to Rozzi and could tell instantly that ‘armor shopping’ couldn’t be further from her idea of essential. “First,” he said as he examined the currency in the bag. “We should split this down the middle. Half for me and you… Half for Rozzi and Wistea to use as they please, then meet back here at nightfall to find an inn or see if the captain came back early.”

Rozzi rapidly produced a small satchel that Wally knew better than to ask where’d she’d been keeping it. With the speed worthy of any decent cashier or money lender he quickly counted out the coinage and divided it evenly, taking only a moment to notice that in both shape and texture, Shilds resembled seashells. The task of money distribution done, the knights left their female companions to decide how they’d make the best of the next two days.

Rozzi stared down at the currency that shimmered like the inside of an oyster shell, hefting the slightly open bag in her hand to feel the weight of the ‘coin’. Above her ears, Wistea went on about shopping for a sturdier robe or finding books to do research on Kota and Sauro as she herself thought on what she wanted to do with the money. With a nod to her own internal decision she took hold of the young Planaetian’s wrist and pulled her along. “Wisty if we’re gonna be cuddlin’ up to possible death soon, Y’can be sure I’m gonna enjoy myself first, and you’re comin’ with me!”

The Planaetian girl staggered at first before matching the smaller girl’s stride. “W-what?! Where?!”

A completely mischievous look colored the face of the red panda. “Oh, I know just the place…”

---

At a cross street far from the port, Hector rubbed the back of his head and studied the stands he could see through the bustling market goers. He and Wally had gotten directions to a smithy from a vendor selling what looked like small balls of fried dough filled with a sweet, if unknown, substance. After buying several, the vendor was happy to answer their inquiry. “He said two cross roads down, after the silk shop… Right? This is ridiculous. With all the food cooking, and everything else, I can’t even get a vague scent of the place nearby, if it even smells like any other smithy I’ve been to.”

Wally answered almost mindlessly, carefully studying one of the street vendor’s pastries. “Probably Taros on South Riverside… With the stupid gold horns on the sign.”

Hector was taken aback by Wally’s suddenly terse tone. “What, did he make you a bad oven once?”

Wally scoffed. “Taros couldn’t make a decent cast iron oven if you stuck his head in one, and yet somehow he remains my father’s chief competitor.”

“Oh, right! Your father’s a blacksmith!” He shook his head. “Blimey, in all the action and excitement I’d forgotten… Well, advantage us then! You’ll be able to tell if the armor’s any good before we buy it!”

“Not just that,” Wally pointed into the sky where Hector’s eyes beheld a column of smoke that appeared no different from the others rising out of the many smokestacks and chimneys around. “I know my smoke, we’ll find a proper forge under that smokestack, I guarantee it!”

Happily following the wallaby’s lead, Hector could only smile as the sound of hammer strikes and the smell of molten metals grew strong on their approach to the smithy, exactly where Wally said it’d be. He reached down and amiably patted him on the shoulder. “Well then, Sir Wally, I leave my armor needs in your capable hands.”

Wally nodded as he pushed past the doors that hung on double action hinges, before immediately turning around to inspect said metal fittings. “My would you look at that, the anchoring’s expert! The weight’s evenly distributed along the entire surface with five six inch spring bolts-”

Hector sighed. “And just like that you killed the moment.”

“Ah, a connoisseur of metal work then!” Wally and Hector quickly looked to the source of the feminine voice, finding a very stocky, silver skinned Insicai just and inch or two shorter than Wally himself, wiping soot off two of her four hands. Her antenna twitched ever so slightly as her eyes focused in on the visible hilt of the Flare over Wally’s shoulder. “My, my, my but that is lovely… Looks cast forged… even the rifling on the grip and the pommel too? It’s one whole piece then but it doesn’t look like any work I’ve ever seen.”

Wally made a small noise intended to inspire feelings of manners and propriety as the investigative Insicai had practically rested her chin on his shoulder.

“OH!” she quickly hoped back and bowed her head repeatedly in apology. “Dreadfully, dreadfully, dreadfully sorry! It’s a beautiful piece of work, where’d it come from? The way the blade is set in the hilt makes it look Insicai but not like anything I’ve ever seen so-”

“PIMEA!”

She made a small squeak and instantly took on all the properties of a statue.

From beyond the freestanding suits of armor on display, barrels full of swords, spears, and various other weapons emerged a barely taller, but much stockier silver skinned Insicai. “That I can hear you bantering, bantering, bantering at customers over the sound of my hammer strikes is ridic-…” He froze in place as looked up at Wally and Hector, a pair of hammers slipping from two of his hands. With a tinge of awe in his graveled voice he finally uttered, “Gods above… Hammond? Nathaniel?”

While Hector was used to people mistaking him for his father, he couldn’t help but feel the wave of shock that rolled over his small friend.

The Insicai smith rubbed his eyes with one of his cleaner forearms and took a second look at the two knights that stood before him. “Oh! Oh but then… As I live and breathe, you must be Wally… And that’d make you Hector, right?”

The two looked to each other before nodding.

“HAH! HAH HAH! Oh but does this take me back, seeing you two together like this!” All four hands worked to wave the two in. “Well, well, well, come inside boys! Has old Alion got stories for you two and- My word. That’s the Stellar Flare. Suppose you’ve a whopper of a story for me as well!”

---

Well across the city sprawl, a raucous festival of scents, sounds, and spirits thicken the air around the Horizon Line; an energetic locale with live music, food that did favors to the tongue alone, and freshly made fights every hour on the hour. In fact, as Rozzi dragged Wistea in for the afternoon fry-up, something vaguely resembling a rolled up carpet flew over their heads and landed with an audible, if muffled, cry of pain. Wistea would’ve gone to investigate if not for the impatient red panda dragging her along.

“Now,” Rozzi turned to Wistea and spoke loudly over the din of piano and clattering mugs. “You stay by the bartender, and when I’m done, you get us drinks.” She plopped the satchel into Wistea’s hand, finally releasing her wrist.

“W-wait! Rozzi!” She called nervously over the noise. “Done doing what?!”

Rozzi only smiled at her before taking a deep breath and shouting “ALRIGHT! WHICH ONE OF YOU GREAT BIG LUMPS IS THE BIGGEST AND THE TOUGHEST?!”

There was the great shifting of glances, and a boisterous chorus of murmurs and elbows shoved into ribs before finally, from the corner of the room, arose a rhino. His arms were covered in all manner of tattoos, scars, and tattoos painted over scars. His bulk threatened to destroy the horrendously stretched out fabric on his body that no doubt committed some crime in a past life to deserve this punishment. The crowds moved as if this Animani’s presence was a moon yanking a tide out of its seabed in the morning. Every working eye in the bar watched as a figurative mountain accepted the challenge from the metaphorical rock in the road.

He began to speak.

Rozzi hit him with a straight right to the solar plexus, forcing every atom of air out of his lungs.

He doubled over as a vacuum formed in his chest.

Rozzi grabbed onto his horn and used his own weight to propel him over her shoulder into the barroom floor before jumping up onto his chest, throwing up her arms, and letting out a triumphant yell as the other patrons cheered her sudden victory.

Wistea, riding a wave of shock, turned to the bartender and pointed at the nearest mugs held by drinkers. “Two of… Whatever those are, please.”

The triumphant leader of the Bandit Circus hopped off her whimpering foe and sauntered over to her compatriot, happily taking up the just served tankard and drinking the entirety of its contents in one go before tossing the emptied cup over her shoulder and snagging the other one from Wistea’s hand. “You’re not old enough for this yet.”

The utterly confused librarian attempted to assemble the course of events in some logical order before finally uttering a defeated remark. “I have questions.”

“I’m listenin’!” Rozzi said with a solid smile.

“Was it… Necessary to do, well, anything you just did?”

“’Course! Only way to get a table in here!” Rozzi pointed at the now empty table in the corner of the bar.

“And the two drinks?”

“Ones for courage, the other’s for my hand.” She slipped her hand into the acrid smelling fluid and sighed in relief. “Never punch something with a hide as thick as a book if y’ don’t wanna pay for it later. Free advice from your dear Auntie Orland.”

“Yes, I shall go right ahead and add that to the list of the many bizarre things I have learned on this journey that may never apply again.” She followed Rozzi over to the table, trying and failing to not look awkward as she folded herself into the seat for the small corner table. “Honestly, I have no idea why you brought me along to this…” She winced as a contest of belches went on a few feet away, “Place…”

Rozzi removed her hand from the tankard and flexed her fingers a bit before dunking it again. “Three reasons. One, I don’t like drinking alone. Two, you need to have some fun before we head to Sauro, and Three… I…” Rozzi tilted her head back and forth as if to subtly jostle the hesitation loose. “I need your help with something later and this is the only place I’d feel comfortable even askin’.”

---

The smell of freshly drenched steel, armor polish, and coal fire made Wally feel at home as Pimea and Alion quickly set up a round folding table and blocks of firewood for seats. Something that worked out quite fine for three of the occupants, but Hector, knees bent uncomfortably as he tried to sit on the small wooden block, politely nudged it aside and simply sat on the floor. Settled in, Wally began quickly explaining their circumstances with Hector filling in a detail or two along the way, but overall the explanation was hurried, made desperate by the fact the Insicai sitting before them knew both their fathers somehow.

Pimea stared, intrigued with every morsel of the story, eyes only occasionally darting back to Alion to watch his response. For the most part, Alion sat and listened, polishing armor parts with his secondary arms as the primary rested crossed over his chest.

“Well, well, well. You two certainly have had a time of it… Never saw the Rogue up close myself but the Thorned Princess? Bashed, bashed, bashed through one of our encampments once. I spent two days with a few others, lying as still as possible in the rubble, rubble rubble…” He sighed and set one piece of armor down before working on another. “We just didn’t have the might or tactics to take on someone like that, and without support staff the frontline would’ve crumbled, crumbled, crumbled. So we played dead.”

“So then,” Wally said. “You and my father worked together on support teams?”

“At first we did, yes, yes, yes. But after he was called to the front, I never saw him again. Hell of a smithy your father, taught me a lot. One day a Black Rock Knight made it past the soldiers set to guard a small settlement in Planae. Before it could do any harm, your father, without a second thought, charged at it and bashed, bashed, bashed one of its arms off with his hammer. I’ve seen swords bounce off those things, and they treat cannon shots like they were raindrops… And here your father, angrier than anyone I’ve ever seen angry, just takes the damn thing on!”

As the memory brought a smile and some laughter to Alion, Wally reeled at the suggested image. The diligent and kindly wallaby that raised him was never angry, never frustrated, and faced every challenge with a humble manner and a polite smile. To imagine him taking on one of those massive soldiers was almost impossible.

Alion eyed Wally curiously. “Didn’t Nathaniel ever tell you any of this?”

Wally shook his head and turned as he heard Hector laugh and shout, “I can’t believe it! Nathan! Your father is Nathan!”

Entirely confused, he replied “Yes?”

“The letters from my father, he kept mentioning ‘my friend Nathan!’ Even said he was a ‘devil with a hammer!’” Hector clasped both hands onto Wally’s shoulders. “Isn’t that amazing?! Our fathers were friends!”

Wally’s face was almost locked in neutral expression. There were so many emotions and thoughts colliding all at once there was no means to properly emote them all. “… He said he only fixed Hammond’s gloves once…”

“Ah, I was there for that yes, yes, yes. It was the first time they met. Then, after your father defeated that Black Rock Knight, Sir Hammond arrived to check on us and saw Nathaniel standing over the defeated thing. After that he was promoted to front line duties. He lead a squad all the way to Orni’Hu and after a few lengthy battles there, lost his leg. He returned to support teams on that front until the end of the war.”

It was clear to everyone in the room this was a difficult revelation for the young wallaby. Not only had his father withheld the truth, but actively lied about it. In his heart he knew his father had a truly good reason to have done that, but that slight ache of betrayal was undeniable. He tried to focus in on the new knowledge that his father was a hero on the frontlines, and respected enough by Sir Hammond to be considered a friend, but that didn’t seem to help all that much.

“Well,” Hector said. “At any rate, Mr. Alion. We were hoping to buy some armor for myself and Wally. If you happen to have anything in stock that might fit-”

“What, what, what? Nonsense! I won’t have you wearing any of that junk out front! That’s cheap tourist armor! I sell that to idiots that want to look tough, or thugs who don’t know any better. You’ll want the real thing! Ah… I’d rather not charge you, but the materials I’ll need are a little outside my means at the moment…”

Hector smiled. “Not a problem, I’m not sure of the value, but I hope we can cover it with this.” He looked down to Wally, expecting him to pick up where he left off before having to elbow him out of existential crisis.

“What? OH! Yes right…” Wally plopped the bag of Shilds onto the table.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Pimea marveled over the bag. “That’s way more than we need! You really don’t know how much a Shild’s worth, do ya?”

The two shook their heads.

Pimea beamed a smile toward them. “Well, well, well. You’re lucky we’re honest folk, that’s all I’m sayin’”

Alion stood and straightened his apron. “We’ll take what we need once we get done measuring you for proper fittings, loose armor not good armor, right, right, right?”

“Right.” They replied.

A good laugh followed, at least from three. Wally only managed a chuckle, still taking in the truth about his father.

---

“Really?!” Wistea shouted. “Oh I would be more than happy to help you with that!”

Rozzi gently struck her on the arm. “Don’t go shoutin’ about it like that! S’embarassin’!”

“Oh? But why? It is perfectly reasonable to ask for help in such matters. In fact some other girls my age in Arborledan make a group pastime of it.”

Rozzi groaned out her frustration. “I’ve never done this sort of thing before! Ever! Even when I was your age! I spent all my free time makin’ sure the shows went off without a hitch, or keepin’ us fed… Practice with my sickle, rehearsals…”

Wistea scoffed as politely as anyone could. “I believe you are simply over thinking. Besides, I am certain no matter what you pick; it will suit you, simply because you chose it! And, might I add, for a very lovely reason.” Wistea noticed her friend was still uncomfortable before she continued. “This is so odd, seeing you be so hesitant and reserved… In everything else you are so…”

“Obnoxious?”

“Bombastic! I… I must admit I am rather envious of how you take life as it comes, and that I have been, well, aspiring to be more like you in certain ways.” Wistea folded her hands and looked down at them. “My life has indeed been very reserved, very focused. But look! Here I am, in this seedy no account place surrounded by scoundrels and thugs who would have terrified me to my roots before!”

A slim smile formed on Rozzi’s face, “and now?”

“Oh, I am still scared of them. But now I know I could take them in a fight if I absolutely had to! I have you to thank for that. So!” She cleared her throat, and made an effort to drop her scholarly accent. “There ain’t nothin’ you can’t not do either, eh?”

Rozzi barely stifled a laugh, unleashing a loud snort in the process.

“Yes, I know that was terrible for me as well.”

“Wisty, you just earned yourself your first drink… With adult supervision of course.”

“As soon as you tell me where we would even find an adult here.”

Rozzi laughed hard, slapping her hand against the table and then quickly regretting it, having forgotten it was still sore.

---

Wally didn’t speak much after the measurement taking and questions about range of movement, weight, and color. In fact he’d spent most of the day in the same fugue state he fell into on rainy days when no one came to his bakery, where time and presence of place become these illusory things that he half remembered. He hadn’t realized how much of the underpinning of his life could be undone with just one lie from his father, even with good cause it was something difficult to process. The moons rose and the sun set as he finally found a sense of self again, approaching the docks alongside Hector.

He noticed then that The God’s Fortune was nowhere to be seen on the pier or in the distance, but Wistea, smiling and dressed in a new dark red and gold robe sat on a mooring post with a bag of goods at her side, clearly happy about something, with no Rozzi in sight. Hector said something and she said something back; Wally didn’t take notice of the words, mostly because of the sudden buzzing at his side.

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his Farsight Stone. In his hand it buzzed like a tiny heartbeat as he slowly remembered that meant someone with another stone was nearby. It was how they found Rozzi all those weeks ago in Crescent Town. He hadn’t noticed before, but since they found one another it hadn’t buzzed once. This must’ve been the longest time the two of them have spent far enough apart for the stones to call out to one another again.

“Wally.”

He turned and looked up to see Wistea’s smiling face as she tapped the stone. “She said you’d have t’ find her with it, so don’t go an’ keep’er waitin’ alright?”

With utter confusion plastered on his face, he could only look to Hector.

“She and Rozzi… Had ‘fun’ today.”

“SO MUCH FUN! WHOO!” Wistea threw up her arms and nearly lost her balance as Hector moved in to catch her. “Oh! Whoopsie… I’m still a little tipsy… Thank you Hector.”

“Always happy to help… You just stick to me for now while Wally goes to wherever Rozzi is.”

“He better! Because he’s not a brute! Innit right, Wally? You’re no brute.”

He could only nod, which seemed to satisfy her inquiry, judging by the happy giggle she replied with. He held the stone up and slowly turned feeling out where it vibrated the most and walking in that direction. Soon he found himself in a small back alley with steps leading down to basement windows and a green door. The light inside shone through the windows’ red curtains giving the steps a shade of sunset in the middle of the night. The bell on the door inside reminded him of his own bakery door, but the interior couldn’t be more different.

All around were empty tables with overturned chairs, warm gaslight dancing over every surface, and beneath it all; a cool cobblestone floor. At the center, a single adorned table sat apart from the closing time aura, and a familiar face stood, with some very unfamiliar attire.

Gone was Rozzi’s Bandit Circus uniform, her arms and legs lacking the meticulous athletic wrapping, and her head unadorned by her mainstay bandana. Instead she wore a copper hued dress that flared very slightly at the hem and left her arms bare, with two thin straps holding it up on her shoulders. Around her wrist were two simple jeweled bands of silver, but of all the things she wore, the first Wally noticed was her nervous smile, and then her slightly cautious eyes.

“Don’t laugh,” was all she managed to say. “I can handle anything but that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he almost mumbled as he tried not to stare.

Rozzi took a deep breath and sat down at the table, gesturing to the chair across from her, her tail twitching anxiously as Wally made his way over. He propped the Flare against one of the unused tables, draped his coat and scarf over the back of the chair and sat down. The table had china and silverware ready, as well as red wax candles that had already been lit, along with a very squat bouquet of flowers between them. As he settled into the seat a well groomed feline Animani waiter pushed open the kitchen door and approached them with two steaming plates, placing them before each of them.

“I must say ma’am,” spoke the waiter in a polite tone “I am impressed. He arrived exactly when you said he would.”

“Hasn’t disappointed me yet,” she replied happily.

“As it stands, we don’t mind waiting to close another hour or so, so please, enjoy the meal.” He nodded his head gracefully before returning to the kitchen. Wally didn’t tell her he could hear bets being paid off in the kitchen.

“Rozzi,” Wally began, but stopped when she held up her hand.

“Rosalind. Right now, it’s Rosalind. I mean, it’s always been Rosalind but everyone just calls me ‘Rozzi,’ because I don’t like that my name is-”

“Rosalind Orland.”

She made a small annoyed noise at the sound of it.

“… You do remember my name is ‘Wally B.’, right?”

Rozzi slowly went wide eyed.

“… Cinera never told you my full name, did she…”

She slowly shook her head.

Wally sighed with a smile and reached over the table. “Wally B. Walter, at your service.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she shook his hand once. “Rosalind Orland, charmed, I’m sure.”

They shared a laugh that slowly faded into the darker corners of the empty restaurant before Rosalind began to speak again. “I can’t believe I was so nervous… I mean, you wouldn’t be any different now than you have been before, and I certainly didn’t ever find you intimidatin’ before.”

Wally playfully rolled his eyes. “Oh, thanks for that.”

“You know what I mean! This is… This is different. This is… Me doing somethin’ I’ve never thought I’d do.”

He raised an eyebrow incredulously. “I find that a little hard to believe.”

“I’d flirt, turn the occasional head maybe… But…” She clasped her hands in her lap and found it difficult to look him in the eyes. “For me it… Feels like more than that now. I… I want it to mean somethin’ more. So I’mma bit scared that… Well… You don’t… And I figured since there’s every chance that after tomorrow we’ll be standin’ the closest to death itself since we started. I should… Tell you that before I lose my only chance.”

Wally found he was entirely at a loss for words at first before he nervously rubbed the back of his head. “Rosalind… I did, you know, say that if it was more than that, I didn’t mind. Remember? Back in Arborledan… At least I think I said it, I was still a little dizzy from everything so I might have only thought it loudly.”

Terrified he hadn’t given her the answer she wanted he very slowly looked up again and saw she’d laid her hand palm up on the table, with some trepidation Wally reached over and held it. The two exchanged warm and comforting smiles and silently acknowledged what they felt. There were, of course, words each of them held that sat like explosives in the heart of their beings. Words that could make or break everything at the sound of them, that they were both afraid of and longing for. For now, this time alone with one another, this shared meal, the simple understanding was enough.  

With the meal finished and the matter at least somewhat settled, the two walked arm and arm back to the pier where Wistea had passed out leaning next to Hector, who almost recoiled at the entirely unexpected sight of Rozzi in a dress.

“Well…” Hector began to smile at the sight of them together. “It’s about time I’d say. Also, Rozzi, I’m impressed at how you’ve handled your drink. Going off of this one, you two must’ve put a bartender out of business!”

She huffed and shook her head. “I had one drink, and then I bought her one. She took one sip and… Well you saw her.”

“ONE SIP?!” Wally and Hector loudly declared, stirring the Planaetian scholar from her, almost entirely, self-imposed stupor.

“Hrm? Nnhg.” She stretched and made all the appropriate waking noises. “Did I miss anything?” As she rubbed her drowsy eyes and clearly saw Wally and Rozzi were still arm and arm, she gasped and brought her hands up to cover her mouth as she broke into a delighted squeal.

Wally’s ears pinned back to try and escape the noise as he looked to Rozzi. “Is she going to do that a lot?”

With ears equally pinned Rozzi replied, “Probably, she’s an excitable girl after all.”

“Well, one would hope our maid of honor’d be energetic, eh?”

Rozzi’s ears sprang straight up and she turned her head toward Wally instantly seeing the pleased little smile on his face. Her brow furrowed and she bumped him with her hip in a retaliatory strike. “Don’t get sassy with me, Mister Baker. That’s one fight you’ll lose, every time! But, I’ll let it slide this once.”

“Appreciated, Miss Bandit.”

The two shared an all too pleased set of smiles before Hector spoke up. “Well now everyone; let’s see if we can’t get a good night’s sleep! Who knows if we’ll get another one after tonight?”

They all agreed and set off back into town, just as a cold wind came in over the sea, and the stars on the horizon seemed to dim.

<[Chapter 14]–[Index]–[Chapter 16]>

[limejuicer1862]

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

  James Carter

is an award-winning children’s poet. He travels all over the cosmos (well, Britain), with his guitar (that’s Keith) to give lively poetry performances and workshops.  James once had hair, extremely long hair (honestly), and he played in a really nasty ultra-loud heavy rock band. And, as a lifelong space cadet, James has discovered that poems are the best place to gather all his daydreamy thoughts.  What’s more, he believes that daydreaming for ten minutes every day should be compulsory in all schools.  His poetry titles include Cars Stars Electric Guitars and Orange Silver Sausage (Walker Books) and Time-Travelling Underpants and Greetings, Earthlings! (Macmillan). James was the major contributor to the recent Cbeebies TV series Poetry Pie. He lives with his wife and two daughters in Wallingford, Oxfordshire.

The Interview

1. What inspired you to write poetry?

It’s a number of things. I’ve always really loved words – reading everything from comics/non-fiction as a child to novels as a teen/young adult, and now mainly non-fiction/poetry/plays. I’ve always been a bit imaginative I guess, and as soon as I bought my first electric guitar at 15, I just started writing lyrics to songs. Actually, I wrote my first lyric/poem thing, The Electrified Spiders, aged 8 or 9. I played in bands all through my 20s, writing and recording music. But as soon as I went to uni aged 29 I knew I wanted to write, to be a writer. I tried fiction at first, but it was the poetry/non-fiction that took off.

I’m a bit of an outsider (I’ve often been called ‘contrary’, and I certainly do question everything), always have been, and poetry fits in well with this sensibility, as poetry should show you the world from a different/fresh perspective. In a poem I have to be as original as possible – I feel that I’m implicitly saying ‘Hey look at that – but look at it like this…’. Also a poem has to say something, communicate something, even simply present you with a thought, an idea or a single image.

I like writing for children as it disciplines me. I can’t indulge myself too much, I have to ideally keep my young invisible reader interested. For me, children for me are the best age group to write for. I have no interest in writing for adults per se, but if adults ever like a poem I’ve written with children in mind, then that’s nice! This happened with a kind of eco poem I wrote for a school for World Book Day last year – Who Cares? – it went on the National Poetry Day website (I’m one of their ambassadors), and it was picked up by Radio 3 for their prose and poetry series. I never saw that coming! As a writer, you never know who will read your work, or how it will be received. I even had an email this morning from a woman asking if her 9 year old child could read my poem Love You More (it’s at my website – www.jamescarterpoet.co.uk) at her wedding. How lovely is that? As a poet I couldn’t ask for more.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

School – Macbeth / Canterbury Tales at O level, Philip Larkin at A level, then much later as a mature student, the lecturers at Reading Uni (on the B.Ed degree) were very passionate about poetry. It was the Craft of Writing course in particular that got me writing. In my twenties I went to a fair few John Hegley gigs. Great poet, great comic, and a wonderful person. He showed me you can write about literally a n y t h i n g…

3. How aware were you of the dominating presence of older poets?

Weird question! Actually, I’m now an older poet myself. And still I’d say the children’s poetry world is led by older poets – but thankfully we have lots of younger voices coming through. And crucially, I very much believe the poetry world is far more welcoming to new poets than it ever was. But I think that writing for children is not something that most people consider anyway until they have children / grandchildren or worked as a teacher or have been on the planet for a while…

4. What is your daily writing routine?

Don’t have one! I write anywhere, anytime. In a sense, I’m always writing. On trains, in cafés, on hilltops, in car parks. Depends what I’m writing though. If I’m writing a poem, I can even write/re-write aspects of it in my head, and then I’ll have to make a note of it on my phone or the envelope I keep in my pocket. (Worked for Paul McCartney when writing Hey Jude!) I often get obsessed with a poem as I’m writing it, and will run lines/phrases over and over in my head, chanting them, mouthing the words until they really flow – and every single syllable/word etc is just right. But if I’m writing a non-fiction verse book, say like Once Upon A Star / Once Upon An Atom, I need to either work on my laptop, or better still, on paper. I will take the manuscript with me wherever I go, making a great many tweaks/edits/changes.

5. What motivates you to write?

Two things – a) a love if not obession with words and the music of language, b) a fascination with the world – and a need to make sense of it, and I find writing a poem on a topic will help me to explore and express something on that subject / idea / memory. I’m always thinking about something or other, so a poem is a great place to put or distil my thoughts.

6. What is your work ethic?

I’m a workaholic. I’m always writing, at least always thinking about writing. Perhaps tweaking a line, refining a title, developing an image, or mulling over an idea for a new non-fiction book.

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

As Morris Gleitzman so nicely expressed it, everything you read / think / observe / experience goes into the ‘mulch’ from which your writing grows. Specifically, I know that many rhyming things I write are to the rhythm of lines from Macbeth, or my favourite picture book Where The Wild Things Are (a massive influence on me) or even Tom Waits’ spoken word piece ‘What’s He Building In There?’ But I’m sure I’m influenced by lots of things I’ve read without even realising it.

8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

As poets go, I really admire the Americans Billy Collins, Mary Oliver and Lilian Moore. As children’s writers go, I like Shaun Tan and Oliver Jeffers – and a great many others. But in the main, I try and read more widely, away from poetry so I can be inspired by other things – so it’s often plays and non-fiction.

9. Why do you write, as opposed to doing anything else?

I have done other things from teaching to lecturing to office work, but writing / working in schools as a work shopper and performer is by far the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I so enjoy working with children and teachers and librarians. Performing – all that showing off is fine, it’s great fun, but for me it’s all about switching children on as writers. I love the finales we have at the end of a visit, where the children read their poems. I was actually very close to tears yesterday when we had a Year 6 finale in one of my very favourite schools, in Newbury. The poems were quite brilliant. I feel that what I do now – my writing / workshopping and performing – is a culmination of all I’ve ever experienced, plus my two degrees – my teaching degree and my Masters in Children’s Literature.

10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

Write. Write. Write. Write. Read. Read. Read. Read. DON’T expect to get the first/second/third thing you write to be published as chances are it won’t be. Only JK Rowling was published immediately, everyone else pretty much has to serve an apprenticeship of years of writing in the wildnerness. Don’t be too inspired by what you read as a child, look to see what is published right now. If you are writing for children, make it modern. Don’t trust your own children as readers/listeners – of course they’ll love it as they will want to please you. Even more writing, even more reading… Find out through trial and error, not only what you want to write, but what you are best at. I thought I’d be a novelist, but I’m actually a poet/non-fiction writer – and I’m more than happy with that!

11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

A kind of best-of poetry book for 7-11s – Weird, Wild & Wonderful – to be published Jan 2021 by Otter-Barry Books and illustrated by the fantastic Neal Layton. I literally just finished the final new poem to go in the book. The book is a round up really of all the most popular poems I have written, published and performed over the last twenty years. But there’s a selection of brand new ones too. As with all my books I’m aiming for a real range of poems in terms of forms / tone / topics. What I want from one of my poetry collections is a book in which a child reader will not know what they are getting next. I want my collections to read more like anthologies, as if they were written by many different poets. WW&W is divided into three loosely-themed sections Weird (more upbeat humorous and daft poems) / Wild (nature/animal poems) / Wonderful (memory poems/quiet, reflective pieces) – but even within those there is a range.

When I began writing in the late 90s (1990s, not 189s, obvs..) there was too much emphasis on humorous poetry I thought, and I’ve tried to resist that in my books. I want a real range. And actually I find it’s often the quieter poems that really stick with children, and mean more to them. When I perform for 7-11s I’ll mainly do the more serious poems, but I’ll also do some improvised comic stuff in between, even some music – piano, melodica and guitar. I still write instrumental music to this day.

Apart from Once Upon An Atom (Caterpillar Books/Little Tiger Press) – a book on science in verse for 5-8s, I have another book in that same series (as yet untitled!) which is being illustrated right now and that is on the subject of palaeontology – going back in time, exploring various extinct creatures from the past – from woolly mammoths to trilobites to T.Rexes. I really love writing non-fiction. Researching a topic for months, and then finding an interesting angle to tell the story of that subject. I don’t want too many facts. Other books do facts, so instead I try and establish a narrative thread of some kind that takes a reader into or through a subject. Once Upon An Atom is slightly different in that it has three sections – Chemistry / Physics / Biology, and in very simple poetic language explains/explores each of these. It was probably the toughest book I’ve ever done – explaining science to an infant isn’t easy! The illustrations by the Brazilian artist Willian Santiago are just brilliant – very vivid, slightly retro sci-fi at times.

12. Why did you write Once Upon An Atom?

I’ve always been fascinated by science. Biology was my favourite subject at school – until I did a week of it at A level and decided it had effectively turned into chemistry and physics, which I wasn’t happy about it, so I dropped it! Instead, I got into English big time – Shakespeare, Larkin etc. And later at uni I studied English with education – but I’ve always had an interest in science, particularly natural history and anything space-related.

I’d already written six or so books in this series for Caterpillar Books, and each one, though non-fiction – and in verse – told a linear story – eg Once Upon A Star (the Big Bang/formation of our sun) / Once Upon A Raindrop (the story of water on this planet, including water cycles) / Once Upon A Rhythm (the story of music). This time I wanted to write about Science, but however I thought about it, there was no actual simple and direct story, just a very complex/interconnected  sequence of inventions/discoveries etc from the last 10,000 years, and that wouldn’t do for a younger children’s picture book. I’d read – rather tried to read – Bill Bryson’s (and I’m a massive fan of his usually) impenetrable The History Of Nearly Everything. I couldn’t read it. It was too dense. Too clogged with facts. I don’t gravitate (ho ho) to facts, as essential they are – for as a reader, I like some kind of coherent narrative. And I had that book at that back of my mind for the many months I was writing this one.

So for a structure for Once Upon An Atom I ended up with three basic parts, which were effectively chemistry, physics and biology. Initially I explained what they were without actually explicitly naming those disciplines as I thought it would be way over the heads/comprehension of 5-8s, the target audience of this series. It took ages to get it right – to find simple enough concepts for each scientific area without losing the real essence of what each is. I finally handed the manuscript in and the wonderful editors at Caterpillar said that they liked it, but that I HAD to include the terms physics, chemistry and biology. I tried to fight my case, but lost! I’ve learnt to trust editors 99% of the time, as they have the objectivity that I don’t, and crucially, they know the market. So a massive re-write followed and unfortunately, Pat and Isabel at Caterpillar were totally right – once again! – and I think/hope it became a better text for it. For the illustrator, they chose Willian Santiago from Brazil. (All the illustrators for the series are from around the world – Spain, Japan, Italy, Northern Ireland…) I was thrilled. His bold, bright exuberant style brought so much to the book.

I’ve since written a related book on inventions for the series, which I didn’t have space to cover in Once Upon An Atom. My editor Pat gave me the challenge of writing a book on materials (wood / glass / metals .. etc.) as her daughter, an Infant teacher, had told her that that is what she’d need for her class. And actually, that was an easier book to write as I simply wrote about the sequence of materials that homo sapiens have used over the millennia – and how each of these have helped us to build the modern world. I would never have thought to have written a book on inventions in that way –  ie through the prism of materials – but it gave it a fresh perspective.

When you write for younger children, you can never lose sight of your reader. I simply now try and write books that I would have wanted to read at that age. I had a few nature books – typical 60s fare – The Observers Book Of British Birds/Mammals etc.. – but nothing on generic science. The two things I try and consider when writing this series are – is the language inviting enough? Am I enthusing / entertaining my reader somehow? And is this interesting / relevant enough? How can I make it more enticing/fascinating? To this end, I often find I spend more time on the first few pages than any other in a book – to get the tone / feel / voice / music of the language just right. You have to grab your reader literally from the first syllable… and that’s a challenge I really enjoy!

I visit a lot of schools, and I see a lot of non-fiction books in school libraries and in topic displays in classrooms. Apart from books like the Horrible Science/Histories series, I do wonder to myself how many of these books are actually read. I know that many non-fiction books we dip in and out of anyway and wouldn’t dream of reading chronologically, but with every non-fiction book I do I love the idea that the reader might experience the book from beginning to end, and follow a linear thread. The books in this series are short, snappy and meant as a taster books for a subject. (If a reader wants to know more, there will be many other books that go into greater detail.) And this certainly affects the way I structure and shape what I am writing. It’s all about the story for me – though I do always have a factual acrostic at the back to include a few dates, a few figures and background information. Facts can get in the way of a good story, so where better to place them than at the back of a book?

And oddly, I’m probably one of the least knowledgeable people I know. In theory, I shouldn’t be writing non-fiction! As a person, I have my own limited interests, but as a writer I’m into E V E R Y T H I N G. It’s not WHAT you write about, but HOW you write about it. And what I do have in abundance is enthusiasm! I’m absolutely hopeless at retaining facts, and because of this I have to do a lot of research. But I guess it does mean I come to every subject as a non-fiction writer reasonably fresh, and I’m literally learning as I’m researching and then writing – and I try to then distil that initial fascination/passion for learning into the text of whatever book I am working on.

13. How did you collaborate with Willian Santiago?

Apart from my forthcoming poetry best of collection Weird Wild & Wonderful (Otter-Barry Books, Jan 2021) – for which I cheekily requested – and got! – the utterly fabulous Neal Layton – I never get to choose illustrators. Caterpillar books are brilliant at trawling the world for new talent and matching my text with an illustrator’s images. With every book they have found e x a c t l y the right person. And this must be the case as the second book in the series, Once Upon A Raindrop – the story of water – illustrated by the incredible Nomoco – is longlisted for the Kate Greenaway award! And I’m absolutely over the moon for Nomoco, Myrto (the book’s designer) and all the wonderful humans at Caterpillar Books. They really deserve it as their books are so fresh, vital and innovative. It’s a real honour to work with such a creative/dynamic team.

And I never have contact with an illustrator during the process. I may have a few very occasional responses, but in general, I trust the editors/designer/illustrator. Visuals are not my area. I’m primarily and solely concerned with the words inside. Plus, too many cooks…

14. Page or Stage?

Although I do strongly believe – as a white, 60 yr old middle class male – in the craft – I’m very much into page rather than stage poetry, but I equally love the fact that there are younger poets coming through, a variety of ages, a wide mix of races.

15. Accessibility?

I also enjoy stage – but that comes much, much later in the process. I’ll often write a poem and not actually ever read it for months/years. I write primarily for readers. Also, I try and make my work so simple and uncluttered and direct that it is as if it has just flowed out…craft is trying to make it look easy. Which it certainly is NOT!!!!

16. How do you think being a musician helps your poetry?

Great question, Paul! Apologies if my answer comes over a bit pretentious.. it can get a bit la-di-dah when you’re talking about such things!

In a sense, a poet IS a musician. A poet orchestrates the music of a poem – using consonants, vowels, syllables, alliteration, assonances, rhyme/half-rhyme – line breaks/lengths – all this is linguistic music. And I do think to be a music-musician (guitarist/terrible keyboard player) for me is both a curse and a blessing. A blessing in that it helps me to feel my way along each line of a poem, to instinctively know what works/doesn’t work as I weave words/sounds, syllable by syllable. But it does mean that I sometimes procrastinate over even a phrase for many months. It means I tweak/edit/re-write obsessively. It means I find it very hard to read or even finish a rhythmical rhyming poem by another

Poet that doesn’t scan. A rhyming poem that doesn’t scan is akin to driving down a bumpy road. You keep trying to

Avoid the bumps, and you don’t quite know when/where they are coming. If a poem doesn’t scan, it isn’t finished.

If a poet ever says ‘Oh, it depends how you read it’, I don’t follow that. (But if it’s just performance stuff, spoken word that is not published on the page, just done in a live context, that’s very different). As a poet on the page you are giving your reader a poem that has implicit instructions on how it is to be read, and if they have to keep stopping to adapt/adjust because it doesn’t flow, then the poem isn’t fully doing its job. With my non-fiction verse series, I often imagine my readers as either busy parents/teachers/librarians reading aloud to a young child. If the text doesn’t scan, they have to work harder at delivering it to the child. And I don’t want that. I want it to be an easy, positive experience, so the words just readily sing and flow off the page. Also, if I have a 7-11 yr old reading one of my poems themselves, I don’t want them to struggle with a poem,I want them to enjoy it, to get it, to know what it’s about, and be moved/inspired/enlightened or whatever. Bumpy lines will not help this experience. Children more readily read fiction/novels, so I don’t want anything to deter them from reading one of my books. Instant readability is ESSENTIAL! But that doesn’t mean I want my poems to necessarily be superficial or lightweight all the time – which some indeed are, but I do want a great many poems to be re-read, and stimulate a bit of thought or reflection.

And overall, for this very reason I generally avoid reading rhyming verse nowadays and mainly read free verse, which I absolutely love. I try to start many of my poems as free verse, but invariably a rhyme, metrical pattern slips in. Some poems just demand to rhyme. Others will let me be more loosey-goosey and play with a free verse form, but even then I may play around – do free verse and make it into a midline acrostic as well. Depends on the subject/age group I’m writing for. With younger children, 98% of my stuff rhymes, for older readers, I’d say it’s about 60%. And in a sense, rhyming stuff is easier for me as I know how it should flow/sound, but free verse is not so obvious, is prose’s half-sibling, and has a quieter, subtler music. Writing rhyming verse is akin to a pop song in 4/4 in a major key. Free verse can be more like a very slow piano piece in waltz time in a minor key!

Whenever I read a poem (ie one by another poet) for the first time, I’ll be listening solely to the music, the soundscape.

I’ll trace the rhythm however blatant or subtle. I’ll listen to the vowels, the consonants, rhymes, alliterations, all of the tricks the poet is using. On second and third readings I’ll be processing the meaning, the message, the narrative or idea that the poem is expressing.

And that’s the same for writing for me. I’m initially concerned with the soundscape – but ultimately and clearly both are equally important. Above all poetry as far as I can see is language at its most musical and memorable – therefore the soundscape has to be well constructed. A poem built with craft is a poem built to last!

As daft as it sounds, when I’m working on a poem I will often carry it around in my head and I’ll be sounding the words out loud, all the while listening for opportunities to tighten the rhythm and the flow – but equally looking to see where I can include extra assonance alliteration and rhymes or half rhymes. All the while I’ll be ensuring that the poem says what it needs to say and I don’t care if it takes months because I want it to be the best it can be. I love words, so working with them like this is a real joy. I scrap far more poems than I keep. In one of my poetry collections I might write many hundreds of poems but keep only 40-50 or so. I want to minimise filler! In theory, I’d rather write just one single poem that I’m really happy with than thousands I have dashed off. This is why I won’t ever read a poem to an audience for many months even years as I want to ensure it’s totally finished. And even when I do eventually read it, I may well find extra tweaks I need to do!

And I’ve observed that children write in a very different way to adults. They’re far less self-critical and therefore they can write more quickly and freely. A child’s first draft will invariably be much better (relatively speaking) than an adult’s. Adults often write very slowly and cautiously knowing they can tidy it up later on. Not so children. Children I have discovered (having worked in over 1300 Primary schools!) write with verve and freshness and also very swiftly and will have no interest (unless without adult encouragement) in writing for any more than the 40 mins or however long that first version takes. Picasso said he wanted to paint like a child. I know what he meant. I certainly try to write is as openly as I possibly can in the first version. I tell teachers in INSET that you have an angel on one shoulder telling you ‘hey, you’re the best writer in world, go for it!’ but then later the devil on your other shoulder pipes up and says ‘Dream on, matey! What were you thinking of? What you’ve just written needs A LOT of work!’ And that analogy works for me!

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: James Carter Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

[arrestyourdebt]

A while back I was feeling rather bored with life because I didn’t have a hobby. I tried to pick different hobbies here and there but nothing really stuck. I quickly lost interest in everything I tried because I didn’t really have a passion for it.

Not too long ago I stumbled into something I absolutely LOVE to do. I started a blog and I find myself thinking about strategies and different ways to help people all day and night. What started as a hobby has quickly turned into an obsession. It has reenergized me to levels I didn’t think were possible. Blogging may not be right for you, but I encourage you to explore different hobbies to find something that excites you if you have found yourself stuck in a life rut.

What Hobbies Do You Currently Have?

A while back when I was in a rut, I did not have any hobbies. As I got older, I lost interest in things I previously liked to do. I no longer had time to play video games for hours on end and I found myself in a revolving daily routine. My daily routine involved the following sequence:

Get up and go to work

Work all day

Come home, eat dinner, go to bed

Repeat

Weekends were not much more exciting. They involved doing yard work and going to church on Sundays. Don’t get me wrong, I was still happy with life, but I was just bored with life in general. I wasn’t being challenged.

Signs You Need A Hobby

If you find yourself bored with life and no longer challenged, I encourage you to find an inexpensive hobby to reinvigorate your life. Just like being debt free can change your life, so can finding a hobby you are passionate about.

I can not tell you how my life has improved 10 fold now that I started blogging. I am challenged, energized, and my life has a new purpose. I help people on a daily basis and I get to use my creative side as well. Combining everything I enjoy, (reading, writing, creating, helping others) I stumbled upon blogging and it has been the perfect hobby I wish I had discovered sooner.

Enough about me – let’s focus on ways to help you get your fire and energy back!

New Hobbies To Try

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

Here is a list of 28 hobbies that you can start with a minimum amount of money.

Category: Online Hobbies

Start A Blog

Ok, I had to start this post with my absolute favorite hobby. If you’re a creative person who loves helping others or telling a story, blogging may be the perfect fit for you. I seriously wish I would have discovered this years ago.

A blog can be whatever you make it. It can be a private journal for yourself or you can create elaborate articles to help people with their problems. There really is no limit to what you can do with them. I get the enjoyment out of writing all my posts as well as designing all the graphics and images for it. It hits every intellectual creative aspect I enjoy.

You can also start a blog for pretty cheap. My current blog is rather large and I utilize a bunch of plugins, email services, marketing avenues, etc that can get rather expensive. However, if you are just starting out, you can start a blog for less than $10 dollars a month.

If you are just starting out, I recommend signing up through Blue Host to keep your costs way low while exploring this as a hobby.

Click here for my link to the Blue Host Blogging Platform.

Fill Out Online Surveys

Online surveys are great time killers and many of them will actually pay you to complete them. I personally use SwagBucks when I feel like killing time and I earn points that I can exchange for money and gift cards.

Check out SwagBucks through my link here.

Create Products on Fiverr

Fiverr is an online marketplace where people create content and sell it online. People create graphics for businesses, write content for bloggers, and everything in between. I used Fiverr to find an artist to create my logo for Arrest Your Debt. If you’re creative and like designing, writing, or a myriad of other things, you may be able to sell your work on Fiverr as a hobby.

Check out Fiverr through my link here.

Find A New PodCast

I recently started listening to PodCasts on my way to work. PodCasts are a great way to learn more about a new topic, be entertained by a comedian, or a combination of both. There are many online PodCast episodes you can download or stream online and the topics are only limited to your imagination!

Play Fantasy Sports

I started playing fantasy football years ago and it was one of the best decisions I made. A good friend of mine invited me to play in their league but I was hesitant because at the time I was not a big football fan. Playing fantasy football quickly turned me into a football fan and I know more players and their stats than I ever thought possible.

If football isn’t your thing, they also have fantasy soccer, baseball, hockey, basketball – you name it. You can sign up for a team through Yahoo, ESPN, and other networks for free. For more information about Fantasy Sports, here is a quick overview:

Category: Outdoor Hobbies

Going outdoors can have calming effects on your mind and soul. I find that I can reset my mind and de-stress by jogging outside rather than on a treadmill. Try one of these outdoor hobbies to calm your mind.

Hiking

If you live in a city, it may take you half an hour or so to find an area to hike. You don’t need to be too far outside the city to get away from the stress of city life. The hustle and bustle of the cars driving by and the overall noise can add stress to your life. Spending time in nature by hiking on a small trail or a rocky mountain can help you regain your focus and energy. The calming effects are definitely worth it!

Camping

When was the last time you went camping? For many of us, we have not been camping since childhood. Camping can be a great way to explore nature and have a bit of an adventure. Depending on how rugged you are, you can camp at a local campground with provided restroom facilities, or you can rough it without any amenities!

Plant A Vegetable Garden

There’s nothing like the taste of an organic vegetable garden. If you have never experienced the taste of freshly grown produce, I suggest you give gardening a try. When I first started a garden, I didn’t know anything about how to grow vegetables. It turns out, it’s relatively simple if you watch a couple of Youtube videos and pay attention to the planting season. I quickly found out through trial and error what grows during the winter, and what doesn’t.

You can either plant a vegetable garden in the ground or you can use a raised garden bed if you are short on room. These raised garden beds from Amazon.com are a great option if you have limited space to start!

Check out these raised garden beds on Amazon.com

Plant A Flower Garden

In the past, my wife would kill everything she planted. However, with a bit of trial and error, she has now gotten the hang of it – and I love it! She now regularly plants perennial and annual flowers near our entryways and porch swing. It adds beauty to our yard and is also relaxing for her while she does it. Below are some of her plants. (Yes, there are a lot of cacti because we live in Arizona)

Running/Jogging/Walking

For me, exercising outside is much more beneficial than working out in a gym. I see similar physical results but being outside gives me the opportunity to think and relax. Working out in a noisy gym is distracting and doesn’t usually relax me the same way running outside does.

When my wife first started running, she started with an app on her phone called, “Couch To 5K.” It worked wonders for her and now she can easily run 5+ miles no problem. I, however, am still working on it….

If you need a little motivation, check out the motivational free app, C25K in your app store!

Ride A Bike

Disclaimer – Biking can be a very expensive hobby. Bicycles can range anywhere from your $100 Walmart special to a $5,000 road bike. Even after the bicycle purchase, you will still run into maintenance costs for new tires, chains, etc. This is not a cheap hobby but it can be a great way to get into shape while enjoying the outdoors!

Category: Learn A New Skill

When I was a kid, I had a list of things I always wanted to learn how to do.  The top two things I wanted to learn were:

I Wanted To Learn How To Juggle

I Wanted To Learn How To Moon Walk

Now before you ask me for my autograph, I want you to know that with enough practice – you can do stupid human tricks like me too!

Seriously though, I spent hours as a kid trying to learn how to do these two things. Think back to when you were younger. What have you always wanted to learn how to do but never took the time? Learn a new skill today!

Learn A New Language

In the United States, most of us know only know English. Some of us dabbled in Spanish because our high school forced us, but for the most part, we are not very linguistic. In other countries, it is not uncommon for people to know 2-3-4 or even 5 languages! If you ever wanted to learn a new language, what are you waiting for?

Babble is a language learning program with great reviews. Right now they have a 35% off a 6-month subscription promotion through this link here.

Rosetta Stone is also one of the old time tested and proven ways to learn a new language.

Learn To Play An Instrument

Recently my sister in law started taking piano lessons in her 30s. This can be an expensive hobby if you need to purchase an instrument and pay for lessons. However, a quick search on YouTube will bring up plenty of free lessons depending on the instrument you want to learn. It’s never too late to learn how to play an instrument!

Learn To Sew/Crochet/Knit

Many people enjoy working with their hands and creating masterpieces at the same time. If you have always wanted to know how to sew, crochet, or knit, now is the perfect time to learn how. A quick search on Amazon will offer some inexpensive books to get you started.

Learn Magic Tricks

I went through a phase a few years ago where I wanted to learn how to perform card tricks. Sleight of hand intrigued me and I wanted to learn how they did it. I bought a book about card tricks for beginners and watched several videos on how to perform them.

Category: Improve Your Finances

If you are struggling with your finances, I highly recommend you take the time to learn how to control your money rather than your money controlling you.

Start A Budget

Starting a budget is the #1 way to take control of your money and to improve your finances. I have written several articles about budgeting and have created a free budget printable that you can download here!

Check out my related article: How Do I Create A Monthly Budget? to get started.

Learn About Different Investments

My first rule in investing is I will not put my money towards anything I do not understand. I encourage you to follow this same principle to avoid falling for a get rich quick scheme.

I wrote an article about investing here: What Should I Do With $10,000?[Answered]

Start Couponing

I never had the time or patience to get into the extreme couponing but I know several people who do. You can definitely save a ton of money by using coupons effectively. Here are two great articles on how to coupon if you are a beginner:

Your Money Geek – Grocery Shopping With Coupons

The Practical Saver – Couponing For Beginners

Category: Sharpen Your Mind

Keep your mind active with these great hobbies.

Reading

Have you read a good book lately? I went years without reading after I finished college but a while back I started up again. It’s amazing the amount of knowledge that is in a library and how much more you can connect to a book. Some of my favorite books can be found in this article here: My Top 10 Reading List (2018)

Write A Story

Did you know that Stephenie Meyer started writing the Twilight book series in her spare time as a stay at home mom? I’m not saying we all are bound to become multi-millionaires like her, but if you enjoy writing you never know what you could create!

Put Together Jigsaw Puzzles

It has been years since I sat down and completed a jigsaw puzzle. If this is something you enjoy, you can pick up many different puzzles on Amazon for under $10 dollars!

Adult Coloring Books

I will admit, I have been tempted to pick up some of these coloring books in the past. Unfortunately, right now all my free time is used up on my blogging otherwise I would totally buy some! If you haven’t seen these adult coloring books before, check them out here on Amazon.com!

Put Together Legos

Since I have three children under the age of ten, they give me an excuse to play with legos. Putting together legos is extremely calming but I will warn you, they can be super addictive! In addition, legos can also get quite expensive so make sure you budget accordingly if this is a hobby you want to start.

Yoga

Don’t be tricked into paying an expensive membership fee to attend a yoga studio. Yoga can be practiced at home by following YouTube videos. Yoga is a great way to improve your flexibility and sharpen your mind at the same time.

Explore Your Genealogy

How far back does your family ancestry go? If you don’t have that one family member who has done the extensive background on your family, this could definitely be an interesting hobby for you. Tracking your family line back on both your mother and father’s side is extremely time-consuming. You can either do this through public records, marriage and death certificates on your own or you can use a company like Ancestry.com.

Learn To Meditate

Some of the most intelligent people on this planet meditate on a daily basis. I started to meditate a while back by using the free app, “Headspace.” If you want to try meditating to clear your mind and improve your focus, check out Headspace here!

There you have it. 28 of the most reasonable hobbies you can start with a minimal amount of money – with a few exceptions thrown into the mix. I avoided some of the more obscure hobbies such as stamp collecting (no offense if that’s your hobby) to bring you the most comprehensive list that I have seen.

What other great hobbies did I miss? I’m sure there are a ton, comment below – I’d love to hear what hobbies you currently have that could help my readers!

[convertkit form=883964]

Need A Hobby? Try One Of These 28 Ideas! [2019] A while back I was feeling rather bored with life because I didn't have a hobby. I tried to pick different hobbies here and there but nothing really 

[timothyabernard]

TEATRO CATALINA: “HOLA FROM NICARAGUA”

Happy Saturday, BE family. You know when the universe aligns perfectly and sends shooting stars into your path to redirect you and steer your heart in the right direction?! This happened to me recently. A few weeks ago I received an email titled, “Hola from Nicaragua” and opened to read an outpouring of passion, impact, and strength from Katie Fitzgerald. Katie is the founder of Teatro Catalina, an organization in Nicaragua making impact through theatre education founded on the idea that “Theatre creates space for dreams. And dreams create hope for the future.” I read through her email, overwhelmed and ready to answer the call for action in any way I could. By the end of the email, I was researching flights to Nicaragua to connect as quickly as possible.

Before FFB was created, I used to work with a non-profit in South Africa with a similar mission of bringing empowerment and education to youth in areas where they might not otherwise have access. So when Katie reached out, the story of Teatro Catalina felt familiar, meaningful, and so perfectly aligned with FFB, that I knew we had to team up. Teatro Catalina similar to FFB, focuses on building up the entire person through connection and community.

Teatro Catalina recently launched a fundraiser to raise $10K for a 10K run in November. Read below about how this meaningful event is propelling them forward!

“We are so excited to announce that Teatro Catalina is taking the next step to become our own non-profit organization. Becoming a non-profit will open up avenues for further development and growth, allowing new opportunities to expand our theatre education program, produce a larger quantity of shows and help more young people pursue their dreams. To get us started on this new path, some of our Teatro Catalina youth and staff have challenged themselves to run a 10K race together to raise funds for our future.”

For the next three Sundays, our FFB Run Club #BroadwayJoggers will be running in support and with our Nicaraguan buddies to help prepare them for the 10K on November 11th! Join us in NYC, Nicaragua or your city and if you’re able, please donate what you can. Even a few dollars goes a really long way in supporting their program and their goal. Check out my interview below with Katie, who is an absolute treasure and the powerhouse behind Teatro Catalina.

Katie! I truly feel like the stars aligned to bring us together. I couldn’t feel more inspired by what you’ve created and I’m so overwhelmed and grateful to be sharing the story of Teatro Catalina with Fit for Broadway. Where did this journey begin for you? How did Teatro Catalina come to life? 

The feelings are totally mutual, Jane! I’ve been such a fan of Fit for Broadway and being able to connect with you is really a dream come true! I’m so grateful for your willingness to be a part of Teatro Catalina and to help us share our story!

As a I look back, I realize that Teatro Catalina has been a lifelong journey for me. My love for all things theatre and Broadway started at a young age. My mom is a musician and always had music playing in the house. She would gather my siblings and me around the piano to sing songs from “The Sound of Music” and “Les Mis”. Theatre became a special bond between my mom and me and we were always going to see shows. Besides attending theatre productions, though, I actually wasn’t involved in theatre growing up. I was incredibly shy and thought the only way you could “do” theatre was by being on stage. It wasn’t until college that I realized there was this whole other world behind the stage where I could utilize my gifts and talents and be a part of this beautiful community that I had always felt so connected to.

My first trip to Nicaragua was in 2004. I was volunteering with a non-profit organization and they were just beginning construction on a new community called Villa Catalina. Most of the residents of this community had been displaced by Hurricane Mitch. I immediately fell in love with the people and country of Nicaragua and I made it a priority to come back each year. Over the course of several years, I had the incredible privilege of watching Villa Catalina transform from an open field to a flourishing community and along the way I formed the most amazing friendships.

While I was studying theatre at Santa Clara University, I took a transformative course called Social Justice in the Arts. It was in that class that I started to lay the foundation for Teatro Catalina as I gained an understanding of how theatre and the arts can be used as a tool for social change and empowerment. I received a grant to build a small stage in Villa Catalina and by 2010 I had graduated college, moved to Nicaragua and gathered a group 12 young people who brought Teatro Catalina’s very first production to life! And like they say…”The rest is history!”

What’s the mission statement of Teatro Catalina?

Teatro Catalina uses theatre education to empower young people in Nicaragua to dream, give them a voice and help them recognize their full potential.

We initially felt connected as young, female entrepreneurs building community and creating impact. We relate on so many levels. What tools do you use to get through the ups and downs of this journey? 

First and foremost, my faith keeps me grounded. In the midst of what often feels like a crazy and ever-changing journey, it’s the one thing that remains constant for me. Prayer helps me to stay focused on the things that are most important and gives me a sense a peace as I face daily challenges and struggles.

Secondly, I lean heavily on my support system. I feel so fortunate to have the most incredible family and friends. I would not be able to do this if it weren’t for their endless amounts of encouragement and support.

You are encouraging such a positive, healthy lifestyle for everyone in Teatro Catalina. How has healthy living been a part of your story? 

Growing up, I was always super active. I played several different sports and loved being a part of a team. This type of goal-oriented/relational fitness routine has always been where I’ve thrived. Theatre has this sort of “team sport” feel to me, as well. As a cast and crew, we are united as we work towards accomplishing a goal and at the same time, we have to be very aware of the fact that it takes not only mental stamina but also physical stamina to do what we do. As a leader, I want to make sure I am modeling and encouraging a healthy lifestyle for the young people I work with.

You mentioned social media has really saturated the area with an awareness for fitness and health. Can you dive in a little more to the changes you’ve seen over your time in Nicaragua?

I would say within the past year or two, I’ve really started to notice more people here in Nicaragua becoming increasingly fitness/health conscience, especially young people. I know this may sound insignificant, but we recently had an LA Fitness open up here in Chinandega, and to me, that is a big sign of change. With the internet becoming more accessible and information being so readily available, I think a lot of people are taking advantage and seeking out the how and why behind a healthy lifestyle. As an organization, we want to be on the forefront of inspiring this type of change in our community and that’s one of the reasons why I was so excited to make this connection with Fit for Broadway!

You all have a 10K coming up! I’m so excited to get FFB Run Club #BroadwayJoggers synced up so we can train together on Sundays leading up to the run in November! What sparked the idea to run the 10K with your group? 

I heard about this 10K race happening in our city and I thought it would be a great way to kick-off the next big phase of our organization: starting our own non-profit! I wanted to be able to rally both our young people here in Nicaragua and our supporters in the US around a tangible goal. So we are training here in Nicaragua and also fundraising as we go along. This is the first time any of our young people have done something like this and it’s been so exciting to see how committed they are to accomplishing this goal!

Teatro Catalina, from what I can tell, serves the entire person; mind, body, and spirit. What pillars build the foundation of Teatro Catalina? 

I believe that theatre is this all-encompassing art form that, like you said, serves the whole person but I’ll focus on the one aspect that guides everything we do: relationship. At the end the day, it’s not about the final production, it’s not about whether or not our actors have their lines memorized or how their costumes look, it’s about this journey that we go on together. It’s about encouraging and building one another up. It’s about making sure these kids know and understand that they matter. That even if they live in a rural village in the middle of Nicaragua…their life and their dreams are important. It is in those moments of deep relationship that I see the most life change happening. When kids understand that there are people who really care about their future, it gives them the confidence to pursue their dreams.

What does Teatro Catalina mean to you? 

Honestly, more than anything, I’m just proud of what we’ve created and of what Teatro Catalina has become. I’m proud of all the people (both here in Nicaragua and around the world) who have helped make this dream a reality. I’m proud of what we stand for and the example we set in our community. I’m proud of the leaders we’ve developed and how they now have the confidence to build into others. I’m proud that we are shedding light on the importance of arts education here in Nicaragua and that we are on the forefront of developing a theatre community here in Chinandega. Most of all, I am proud of all of our dreamers (our “soñadores”) who are changing this city, this country, and ultimately, the world!

Quote to live by… 

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

This quote has been a part of my journey since my first trip to Nicaragua and I come back to it often. I’m a firm believer that the things we are passionate about…the things that bring us joy and excitement, are also the things we can use to create more good in this world.

We are teaming up to share BE moments from your amazing group. I’d love to hear yours. “Teatro Catalina inspires me to BE_ ”

Teatro Catalina inspires me to be a storyteller.

Theatre is about storytelling and one of my greatest joys is getting the opportunity to share the stories of the people I have met here in Nicaragua, especially the young people who are a part of Teatro Catalina. Whether it is through pictures, videos, blog posts, or conversations, I love finding creative ways to share their inspiring and important stories with the world.

How do we get involved from the US? 

Follow us on social media (@teatrocatalina)! We love sharing stories and making connections (i.e. Fit for Broadway)!. Currently, we are looking to form more partnerships with theatre companies, school theatre programs and theatre professionals who would be interested in building relationships with our young people and helping us cultivate the skill sets of our artists. We are always looking for people who can to teach and train from afar (virtually) or by visiting us here in Nicaragua! And lastly, monetary donations are always welcomed and appreciated as they help to keep our programs running and allow us to increase our impact!

Check out their video below and join us tomorrow, October 21st in NYC for a fun run at 10AM EST.

Email community@fitforbroadway.com for details, location, & time. 

DONATE HERE

Check out these links to learn more about Teatro Catalina!

The Story of Teatro Catalina!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOiMhbaQRhI

Hamilton in Nicaragua!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFKmrIgINQU&t=4s

Their Blog!

https://www.teatrocatalina.org/blog

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Article source here:Fit for Broadway