#i would like to have everything posted on the week of november 26th

[nonbinaryhatboxghost]

2:33pm. Been a minute. I am still overall doing okay. The Maine trip I mentioned back in September did successfully happen. All of the stuff that was in Maine was great. I got to experience so much New England autumn. Quality time with my dad went well. My Stephen King nerddom was very much indulged. Maybe I’ll post pictures at some point.

The RI part of the visit was not so successful. Seeing my grandparents was great, but being back in the RI house that I lived in for so long was a terrible experience. I don’t think I can ever stay in that house again. Without Jack (my late family cat, he passed away this year at age 19), there’s nothing really there to hide the sad cycle that’s happening in that house.

Work bullshit continues. That is admittedly my norm now.

Personal life stuff is generally going well. My anxiety does continue trying to find ways to ruin it, but I’m doing my best to not let that happen.

I recently did a week and a half of cat-sitting/apartment-sitting for a couple friends. The cat-sitting part went great, she was a sweetheart to me. That definitely helped with the isolation part of the gig. I really didn’t think hard enough about what staying in an apartment without a car and far from my social circle would do to my brain.

I’ve accepted that December holidays no longer make me happy due to many memories of forced interactions and pressure to Do Something & Be Happy. I instead did a couple of low-key things this year that were what I wanted.

I’m feeling a bit off today because I’m doing some mild self-isolation. A friend of mine recently tested positive for COVID and while I have tested negative, and it’s been 5 days since I last saw said friend, I felt like I should be safe and stay in. It’s also cold and I’ve been so mentally exhausted from work that I’ve been using this extended weekend mostly to catch up on sleep and recharge.

But while I have done things like go to a movie theater or sometimes out to eat over the last couple months, I feel like I’m reverting a little bit to lockdown mode. Maybe it’s the rising case numbers, maybe it’s hearing about all the airline shenanigans. Maybe it’s my whole hiding-from-everything instinct that happens when I’m low or upset.

A little while ago, I became very fixated on The Weeknd. There was a live performance of his that I found from 2020. Specifically the November 2020 American Music Awards. LA was still in lockdown. He walks up and down an empty bridge street that is lined with fireworks. At the end, the camera pulls back and up and up as the city is shown behind the bridge, and The Weeknd gets smaller and smaller. Fireworks burst outside of the bridge. I have revisited this performance more times than I can count not just because of the music, but because it captures the specific time and place and feeling of lockdown for me in 2020. The Weeknd sings over and over again “save your tears for another day” as the city behind him is quiet and empty, even though there are still people there trapped inside their homes.

I keep rewatching it. I think it may be because I still feel trapped. Again, I’ve been outside, I’ve interacted with folks. But I still wear a mask at work every day and have just accepted that I’m one of the only people in the office that does that. If I’m invited to a gathering of more than half a dozen people, it is more likely that I won’t go. I left the choir I was a part of because I didn’t feel safe singing inside with a large group of folks without masks. I made the mistake of going to the zoo with a couple friends on the 26th and was completely unprepared for the LARGE number of people and families there, most of whom were unmasked. I was masked the whole time but I still felt unsafe.

Wearing a mask isn’t a problem for me. I just know that I can’t keep cutting myself off and distracting myself with fixations long-term. I need a social or creative outlet again, but I don’t feel safe enough to look for one.

On a petty note, Avatar: The Way of Water is a bad movie. I recommend not giving it money. It has enough.

[axolotlclown]

Hello Ranboo stans, I am thinking about running a Big Bang for the community this year! If you are unfamiliar with what a Big Bang is, it's basically a 7-8 month long event where a writer writes and submits a fanfic, a beta reader reviews the fic, and an artist creates a piece of art for the fic.

If you are interested in participating as an admin/team member, you can go ahead and DM/send an ask. If this idea becomes a large thing, then I'll make a proper sign up.

Also, if you have any Big Bang experiences from previous fandoms you'd like to share, feel free to DM me or send an ask as well! It could be positive or negative, I value both insights. You could also reply to this post. I don't mind that either.

If this is new to you and you've never heard of a Big Bang, they're great! Super fun stuff. Because of it's collaborative nature, you'd really only be given 2-3 months max of commitment tops. If you can churn out a one shot over the weekend and turn it in, then you'd be golden.

As for admins and team members, you would be along for the ride, but it's crazy fun, I promise!

I thought I'd poke the bear before diving in deep to see what the community was thinking and if anyone would be interested helping get it off the ground!

-xoxo dante

[seirette]

If there's７Bosses and secret bosses in total...

Random thoughts after playing Chapter 2 under the cut.

Written: September 26th 2021

ジョジョやデルタルーンとか、ムキムキキャラ面白いから筋肉の描き方をお勉強したくなるw

Written: November 27th 2021

Okay I have to write about this somewhere

When Kris first sees Spamton they take a step back.

 Is it because Spamton looks like the Joker or because Spamton looks Different

Why the hell does Kris insist on going alone into the basement.

Why does Kris LOOK when you ask certain things at the shop?

I was thinking "I guess Kris really did truly open the Cyber fountain, met Spamton and was shocked at how much Spamton had changed" but I don't KNOW!

I really love the idea that "Kris didn't know how to properly open the fountains until the Queen mentioned it, and Noelle actually opened the fountain with her pen".

After all, why is Kris afraid(?) of the Chalk cupboard in Chapter 1? Kris knows there is something there, but if they opened Ralsei's fountain they wouldn't be afraid. And I don't think they're trying to keep it secret from Susie.

PS I know there's two fountains (Ralsei and Lancer's fountain) but that's not the point

I have to be honest, I was worried I wouldn't love Deltarune anymore after Chapter 1, but it just has to be the puppet master that curses me every 3 years

When I saw the Weird route my jaw honestly dropped. How could Toby put something so f*cky in there. But I love the implications and how it explores the characters. I hate it. I love it.

(I didn't play it personally I can't do that with my own hands) Sorry for the spam. You get a prize for reading all of this and it's my cooldown drawing from last week.

Extra (May 05 2022)

I love the implications of Snowgrave and the extra information it shows about the protagonists. 

Written: January 4th 2022

Deltarune Chapter 2 exploring the relationship of two friends who have grown apart, released during the pandemic where people haven't been able to see each other face to face. What perfect timing.

Written: January 6th 2022

Is there really going to be 7 fountains? I was thinking at most 4 (not including fountains that may have been opened before we join Kris). 7 fountains would be way too much... too many bosses and music to make?

Maybe Chapter 3-5 goes deep into Kris' personal life (regardless of the door being open, it's in their house...) and everyone's mentality and Chapter 6-7 is the 'final' gate to fix everything.

Note (Someone responded, and I ended up drawing the original image that’s in this post)

Other Stuff unrelated

Written: November 26th 2021

(Complaint about things happening in my real life)

[ts-winter-fic-exchange]

Welcome to the first TS winter fic exchange! Information about what this is, how you can participate, schedule, and more is down below. Everything's under the 'keep reading' so you always know it's up to date!

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Hello! I'm the mod/person running this. You can call me Virgil (he/him) and find me here on Tumblr @im-an-anxious-wreck

Frequently asked questions:

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This event is currently closed!

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What Is This?

An exchange of winter themed fics for the Sanders Sides fandom (it's like a Secret Santa just more general winter). You tell me what kind of fic you would like to receive and then I'll match you to another participant who's willing to write it.

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How Can I Participate?

This is a fanfic exchange for the Sanders Sides fandom so as long as you can write fanfic for that fandom, you can sign up! We also need betas & pinch hitters (and cheerleaders are always welcome, you just don't need to sign up)!

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How Do I Sign Up?

As soon as the sign ups are open (refer to the schedule for the dates), I'll post the link both on discord and on tumblr. To sign up you will have to fill out a few questions in a google form as well as what kind of fic you would like, what you don't want to receive (aka squicks and triggers) as well as what you don't want to write for someone else. For that I'll give you a list of 31 words that you pick from (at least 3, 10 at most). Your matched writer then writes something based on those words (if you pick more than 3, they get to choose which they want to include) and your preferences.

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When Does X Happen?

The schedule is detailed below. There will be several check-ins to ensure that if people forget, they'll be reminded or if they drop out, I can assign a pinch hitter in time.

Schedule:

Participant Sign Ups: Open October 26th - November 27th

Pinch Hitter & Beta Sign Ups: Open October 26th - January 16th

First Check-In: Available November 24th, due November 28th (acknowledgement that you signed up & still want to participate). Since the first check-in overlaps with the end of signups, if you sign up during the first check-in, you don't need to check-in

Prompts/Assignment Sent Out: November 30th

Second Check-In: Available December 16th, due December 23rd

Final Check-In: Available January 16th, due by January 23rd (just to make sure that you'll be able to post in the next week)

Posting: January 24th - 31st

(cut-offs for each thing are at [insert date] 11:59 PM CST)

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How Does Posting Work?

You post your finished work (min. word count is 2k) on your own tumblr/AO3 and then tag the exchange blog or/and add it to the AO3 collection. With both you have to notify your giftee in some way (tag them in the post, gift it to them on AO3 etc.). If you want you can also post a link of the fic in the self-promo channel on discord although that is not required. Since the surprise is half the fun I ask that you do not reveal who you're writing for until you post your work

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Can the fic I write have multiple chapters?

Definitely! There's no maximum word count, only a minimum (2k). Although my personal chapter length recommendation is 500 - 1,500

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If I have multiple chapters, do I have to post all the chapters in one day?

Nope! I'd recommend it, but as long as the all chapters are posted and the work is done on or by the last day of posting (Jan 31st) you can spread posting the chapters between multiple days. However, in the author's note, do let people know that the fic is not finished and that it will be completed before or on the 31st of January

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Is there anything I'm not allowed to write about in my fic?

Yes, there is a few limitations I've set:

Don't write anything your giftee has said they don't want to receive

No NSFW content

And no remrom, I don't care if you think it's okay or not, but it's squicks a lot of people out and is not allowed in this exchange

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How will I know that my sign up/check-in was received?

I'll DM you via platform of choice* an acknowledgment of sign up/check-in within 24 hours of when you sent it in. If after 24 hours you haven't gotten the message, send an ask or DM letting me know!

*platform of choice is what platform you would like to receive your sign up/check-in acknowledgments and your assignment. It will be a question in the sign ups, and can be changed via check-ins when available, or a DM at any time. The current platform of choice options are Discord and Tumblr

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Is a beta required?

Nope! Betas are recommended, but not required

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I'm a beta, do I have to sign up/why is there the option to sign up?

You don't have to sign up, and can join the discord and wait for someone to request one on the 'request-a-beta' channel. But if you want to sign up then you'll be a part of the beta assignment program

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What's the beta assignment program?

The beta assignment program is where betas sign up using the below Google form, writers can DM me asking for a beta, and I'll ask a beta (that's guaranteed to not be your giftee) for the writer

Betas are limited so there's no guarantee that one will be available but please feel free to ask!

(and betas, you can let me know if you want to be taken off the list)

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I want to request a beta, but how do I do that/I'm worried that my giftee will volunteer?

You can request one on the 'request a beta channel' on our discord server, or you can DM me asking for a beta and I'll see if one is available

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Do you have a discord server for this event?

Yep! Here's the link: https://discord.gg/nnmBYgpXQw

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What if my question isn't in the FAQS, or it's been answered but l'd like further clarification?

You can send your question in an ask or DM me your question!

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Sign ups/available check-ins:

Participant Sign Up Form: closed

Pinch-Hitter Sign Up Form: closed

Beta Sign Up Form: closed

[billiejeanenthusiast]

Boobiegate masterpost

We know what they did this summer - and oh boy, was a it a wild summer that - unfortunately for us - stretched into autumn and beyond any reason.

I will first go over everything as it happened and then - because when you look back at everything you realise some timelines overlap - I’ll try to clarify some stuff and put it into perspective.

NOTE: I’m writing the dates from a GMT time zone point of view (aka. UK time)

So let’s start from the beginning. 

Briana breaks up with Brody Jenner after dating him for some random attention seeking period. (June-September roughly)

Here’s an article talking about that irrelevant relationship. https://www.yourtango.com/2020334835/who-brody-jenner-girlfriend-briana-jungwirth-louis-tomlinson-baby-mama Now let’s fast forward a bit to September. 

September 23rd

So on September 23rd we’re flooded with articles about Brody and Bri breaking up and Bri getting back together with her “on-again off-again (boy)friend Nick” and the biggest surprise “BRI IS ENGAGED”

So the story is: 

Bri ended her relationship with Brody because “they were moving too fast” and he had “already met Freddie” 

She then gets back together with her on-again, off-again bf Nick Gordon 

She, her family, and Nick go on a “whirlwind” trip to Las Vegas (MIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC) 

Bri and Nick get engaged during those Covid inviting few days in Vegas (September 21st- September 23rd) 

Articles drop about how they’re engaged and she’s broken up with Brody (Sept 23rd) 

Bri, family and Nick all share a huge amount of Vegas pictures of them in love, Bri’s ring, Bri and Nick being a couple (pictures obviously taken before Vegas to hopefully make someone believe that this in no way is a whirlwind engagement after just knowing each other a few weeks. Did they convince anyone? Well if you are convinced - I’m worried for you) 

Here’s the tmz article:https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/23/brody-jenner-split-briana-jungwirth-engaged/ Here’s some pics of them we were all subjected to while they were in Vegas. And Nick’s new public profile when it just got made. Was he trying to start an influencer career and say goodbye to being a firefighter? Was he trying to get a night job taking off that all firefighter gear for money? Magic mike was a big movie after all….Who knows.

September 28th

At first the engagement pictures on Nick’s IG were just him and Briana and he used the #/shesaidyes. After a few days and probably after they realised it would be a smart move to acknowledge her kid she claims to have too (👀) he deleted those and on September 28th posted new pictures with a new caption and new # of course. This time “theysaidyes”.

The pictures are below.

But, moving on.

As soon as the engagement news drops, we have Nick - our “good-guy firefighter” making a new and public IG account, flooding it with pictures where he professes his love for Bri and soaking up the d-list association fame.

So in the coming weeks we get a lot of Nick, Bri and their families on IG. They post a lot about being constantly together.

What was the most interesting they really pushed the “dad” image on Nick. He was constantly posting about Freddie and even in Bs or Tammi’s stories he was always seen interacting with F the most.

Then after it seemed like the new fiancees had settle into their soon-to-be married life and everything seemed rosy for them - we get hit with the whammy BOOBIEGATE.

Because hell hath no fury like a sugar daddy scorned.

October 15th

On the 15th of October celebtm a gossip site, posts the next picture and caption on IG:

Basically, they’re saying a guy - his name unknown yet - contacted them to tell them how Briana scammed him out of money she borrowed to get a boob job. Specifically 5k USD. He claims he filed the case in court and it’s dated January.

They ask if anyone else has similar receipts or anything about her and that they’re investigating and will be writing a story. And the comments have a lot to say about Bri.

October 19th

4 days later on October 19th celebtm posts another IG update about how they have the court filing and how their article is in progress.

October 21st

2 days after the last IG post celebtm finally posts their article - on the 21st of October

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-briana-jungwirth-sued-over-boob-job/

(It’s on the web still - if it ever gets deleted let me know I have screen recordings of it)

The article is accompanied by this (below) IG post:

Also on this day we get Briana and Nick deactivating their IG profiles. Nick still kept his personal private IG and the only person who stayed public is Tammi.

October 22nd

A day after the article dropped there’s another IG post with the following picture and caption. Apparently, Sugar Daddy shared his receipts - specifically AmEx - with celebtm.

October 26th

On October 26th celebtm posts the second part of the article. It’s messier, with a more confusing timeline than the first, but tries to “spill” more details on Sugar Daddies relationship with Briana and her life in general.

Also by now we know his name - Michael Strauss. An investor in Warwick club in LA.

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-baby-mama-briana-jungwirth-double-life/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

October 27th

Then a day later we get another IG post - no new article - just more excerpts from what the Sugar Daddy told celebtm.

Then it’s quiet for a few days and when you think this can’t get even more trashy - low and behold the circus that is called October 29th.

October 29th

So after a few days of silence celebtm strikes again, but this time they bring in TV’s most loved judge - Judge Judy. Apparently the TV show was willing to take this litigation and air it as an episode.

As always, they post an IG post and a caption, and the article mentioned in the IG caption below is basically an article written for clicks about Louis and Harry because they saw the larrie part of the fandom was getting them clicks. I’ll leave the link to the article here for documentation purposes, but honestly there’s nothing in there worth giving them clicks for. Not a thing. The title of the article is “A Complete Guide to 1D Members Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles’ Rumoured Relationship”

Article: https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-harry-styles-relationship/

November 6th

We see the sudden return from social media exile of Bri to IG. She’s back - with a post and the description ironically saying “I’m back”. I refuse to post it because does anyone really want to look at her face-tuned selfies? 

November 9th

Then after weeks of radio silence, the return of Bri to IG, we get what is apparently the - very underwhelming - like Bri’s boobs to Sugar Daddy who never got to see them - conclusion to this Sugar Daddy drama. This following article which is basically a letter from Michael to Briana telling her how he’s giving up on the lawsuit, taking this as a life lesson and how he hopes no one else falls for her scams. Article below:

https://celebmagazine.com/michael-straus-briana-jungwirth-open-letter-to-one-direction-louis-tomlinson-alleged-baby-mama/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

And of course - the article is accompanied by an IG post by celebtm.

So, here we currently are. After watching that circus show no one wanted not paid for (well except the Sugar Daddy, and he didn’t even get to see the thing he paid for - so sad.) we’re in November and the Jungwirths and company are back to their carefree posting on IG. 

Current status:

The lawsuit seems to have been dropped. 

Everything seems to be in process of being swept under the rug.

Nick - the loving fiancee - is back to IG too. All of his happy, loving pictures with Bri still up (some deleted) - so we must assume their love survived Boobiegate.

As for overlapping timelines:

The timelines overlap mostly during the months March-October with it being said Bri dated Brody, but was also taking money from Boobie Daddy who was helping her during the pandemic, and was later also apparently starting a serious relationship with Nick.

What actually went on - I don’t know. And I’m honestly not interested to find out. This is being mentioned just so anyone coming across this post knows that yes - you didn’t read it wrong - the timelines do overlap with different people saying different things and Bri being tied to all three men at those times without any real clear timeline for the relationships.

So far this is all there is to this mess. If there’s more - I’ll do a part two or addition.

I’d like to end this with saying - these masterposts are 95% just me making them for myself because I forget stuff, and so much goes on in the fandom that if I want to keep up with it all, I need a nice timeline for things. I’m posting this for anyone wanting to make sense of this circus too or just to put it into a timeline. I did fact check all the dates, posts, IG pics, links and so on - but mistakes can happen - if there is one feel free to let me know.

[yelena-bellova]

Winter Song

Plot: Y/n finds that her favorite time of year is much less enjoyable without Steve.

Warnings: Christmas angst, fluff, but mostly angst

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I got this idea a few weeks ago and couldn’t wait to post it. It’s based on Leslie Odom Jr. and Cynthia Erivo’s version of the song, I highly recommend listening to it ❄️ I definitely didn’t proofread this enough and I’m posting it at almost midnight so it’s probably riddled with mistakes 🙈

*Flashbacks are in italics

————

This is my winter song to you

The storm is coming soon

It rolls in from the sea

It was well known among the compound that Christmas was my absolute favorite time of year.

There was no competition in the state of New York, nay, the entirety of the East Coast that rivaled my love of the season. On November 1st I would have the pumpkins and fake cobwebs boxed back up and be stringing lights and hanging wreaths before anyone else in the compound was awake. They’d tease me about it but by the time December actually rolled around, you could hear the toughest of heroes humming ‘Sleigh Ride’ to themselves. Still, no one could measure up to my enthusiasm for Christmas…

Except Steve.

He’d be the one handing me decorations as I stood on a ladder positioning them perfectly. He’d watch every movie and special with me tucked into his side. We’d bake batch after batch of cookies because while they had no problem teasing us, Rhodey and Sam would come through like a tornado and eat all of them. And gift shopping was a day long event that tested the how the super soldier’s strength held up when carrying 10+ bags and boxes.

All of it occurred before the Accords, of course. The storm that rolled in, placed an unmovable divide between Steve and I and left me at the compound and him as far from beside me as could be.

I was halfheartedly stringing lights around the living room, unable to think of anything but Steve. It was snowing heavily outside, the kind of weather that practically demanded all plans to be cancelled for hot chocolate and warm blankets. It was those types of memories that hurt the worst…

————

Is love alive?

Is love alive?

Is love

“It’s a Wonderful Life, hands down the best Christmas movie of all time.”

“But it’s so sad,” I argued, “And the last thing you’re supposed to be during the season is sad.”

Steve looked over at me from his slumped position on the couch of the common room. I’d pulled out my fluffiest flannel blanket and even though the man was his own furnace, he loved me too much to object when I’d laid it over us. I was sitting up gesturing towards the tv as I tried to convince him that whiles his favorite movie was cute, it was too depressing for Christmas.

“Okay, I’ll give you that,” Steve relented a little, “But what about that ending? You can’t argue that it’s not heartwarming.”

I rolled my eyes, “Okay, I’ll give you that one but I don’t like how we get there. I don’t even like thinking about my life without any of you guys in it.”

Steve cleared his throat and I twisted to see his blonde eyebrows raised.

“Especially my number one elf,” I smiled as I sat back against the couch and shifted closer to him, “You’re the only person who doesn’t think I’m insane this time of year.”

“I’d never let you do Christmas by yourself,” he said, reaching under the blanket to take my hand in his.

It was moments like these that I questioned Steve and I. It was just enough of a picture perfect domestic moment that if anyone stumbled upon us, they’d raise eyebrows and ask if they were intruding. With his affectionate gaze focused on me, our shoulders rubbing together and the unexplainable feeling that behind our time spent together there was…something. If I was being completely honest with myself, I wanted there to be something.

Unfortunately, I could summon enough courage to battle aliens and assassins but not to confess my feelings. “Um, what’s next on the list?” I asked, awkwardly fidgeting with my free hand, “I need to finish making my gift list for when we go shopping if you want to help.”

“Yeah, but can we just…”

“Just what?” I asked with a furrowed brow.

Steve scratched the back of his neck before turning back to me, “Can we just sit here for a minute longer? It’s nice.”

My face probably gave away my enthusiasm for the suggestion, but I still tried to conceal it with a close lipped smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Without needing any further agreement, Steve moved an arm around my shoulders and brought me closer to him. While my mind had drawn a blank, my body knew what to do and nestled itself into his side. I laid my head against his chest and wrapped an arm around his torso, giving me the perfect view of the snowstorm outside. Steve rested his chin on the top of my head and continuously ran his hand up and down my back. The moment was perfect and if I’d had the power to stop time, I’d have been happy to stay in Steve’s arms forever.

Yeah, there was definitely something.

————

They say we're buried far

Just like a distant star

I simply cannot hold

I knew it was a huge mistake to enter Steve’s room, but that still didn’t stop me from twisting the doorknob.

It was exactly as he’d left it five months ago when he left for London to attend Peggy’s funeral. All that had been added was a thin layer of dust across every surface. I dragged myself over to his bed and carefully sat down on the edge of it. The part of me that was still in denial about the entire situation didn’t want to mess up the sheets in case he made a sudden return. I reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the picture frame that had sat on it ever since last Christmas. I had jokingly bought Steve and I matching sweaters with hideous festive designs. The entire team howled with laughter as he opened the gift up on Christmas morning. God bless the man and his inability to deny me anything during the holiday season…He’d put it on without so much as an eye roll and Tony had practically tripped over himself trying to get photographic proof of it.

“You are such a simp, Rogers, and I could not be more thankful for it,” Tony grinned, holding up his phone towards us, “Say hello to next year’s Avengers Christmas card.”

Steve locked his arms around my waist and with no warning, lifted me up in the air. I squealed and rushed to hold on to him, the both of us laughing as Tony won his latest way to blackmail us.

The joy that the photo captured seemed like it had occurred years ago. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been that happy or carefree but it had probably involved Steve.

“It’s just not the same without you,” I whispered as I stroked a finger through the dust that covered his face.


This is my winter song

December never felt so wrong

Cause you’re not where you belong

Inside my arms

I wrapped my sweater around my body as I made me way back out to the common room. I didn’t expect to find Tony rifling through one of the many decoration boxes I had set out. While I’d been moping in Steve’s room, he’d taken the initiative in decorating.

“Stark Industries branching out into the holiday business?” I asked with as much of a laugh as I could muster, which wasn’t much.

He was nailing a wreath to the wall when I walked in, “It’s called extreme boredom and this is what it looks like.”

I smiled softly as he turned around to face me, trying to appreciate his efforts. If I was missing Steve, Tony was most certainly missing Pepper. He was trying to keep busy in an effort to not dwell on her obvious absence. “You’re lucky I’m not standing next to you right now.”

“Huh?”

Tony smirked and gestured with his hammer to the space above me. I looked up to see the familiar plastic piece of mistletoe I’d hoped we’d lost dangling on a string. My stomach clenched at the memories the item and the particular archway brought back.

————

“You got that video of Tony tonight right?” Steve asked as he stuffed another wad of wrapping paper into a trash bag,

“Oh yeah,” I laughed, “Drunkenly singing ‘Last Christmas’ to Rhodey wearing a Macy’s box on his head definitely tops our sweaters.”

It was late on Christmas Day, everyone had gone to bed except for Steve and I. We were finishing cleaning and wrapping up leftovers from dinner. It also gave us much needed quiet after such a loud evening.

“I think that’s the last of everything,” I said, admiring the clean kitchen.

“Same here,” he replied as he set the last trash bag off to the side of the room, “You look sad.”

I shrugged and crossed my arms, “I’m always sad when Christmas is over. It makes everyday life seem so mundane.”

“Only you would think that the life of an Avenger is mundane,” Steve chuckled from the archway he was standing under.

“Please, no bows or lights or festiveness of any kind?” I teased as I crossed the room to stand next to him, “Boring.”

We shared a laugh and leaned against our separate walls, savoring the last few moments before the day changed to the 26th.

“Thank you for helping me do all this,” I said, gesturing around us, “I couldn’t have pulled it off without you.”

“Like I said, I’d never let you do Christmas by yourself,” Steve smiled before his eyes drifted up, “Oh…”

I tilted my head to see whatever had caught his eye and caused his cheeks to turn so red. “Oh…”

The mistletoe I’d hung as a joke, hanging above and taunting us. Tony had camped under it several times and refused to budge until Pepper would oblige. Wanda and Vision had found themselves under it and she’d nervously pecked his cheek. It was all in good fun until this moment where I was cursing myself for ever hanging it.

“We don’t…I mean, we didn’t realize that it was…” I verbally stumbled, “It’s not like we knew it was there.”

“Right,” Steve nodded, “We didn’t know. But…isn’t it kind of a rule that we…have to?”

My mouth stupidly opened and closed, “I-I think so. And what kind of people would we be if we broke a Christmas rule?”

“Exactly,” Steve agreed, “So it’s not a big deal.”

“Not at all.”

“Good,” he said quietly before pushing off the wall and taking a step to the middle of the archway. I came to meet him and dropped my arms at their sides, his hands carefully reached for mine till they’d taken hold of them. The awkwardness was quickly melting away and being replaced by an urgency to make the inevitable happen. Steve’s fingers traced over the pulse points of my wrists and his lips curled up as he felt the goosebumps break out across my skin. We both leaned in at the same time, not giving the other a chance to back out because we both knew how badly we wanted to get on with it. Our lips met and all the hesitation and second guessing we’d done in the seconds before vanished. Every time I’d questioned whether or not my feelings were true suddenly turned to a resounding ‘YES’ for an answer. Our mouths moved together as if it was a dance we’d done a thousand times. As much as I wanted to pull him closer, my body was paralyzed by the shock and the only thing I felt able to do was lace my fingers with Steve’s.

It ended all too soon, the both of us pulling away in need of oxygen. Steve pressed his forehead to mine and sighed, he squeezed my hands and brushed his nose against mine.

“Merry Christmas, Steve,” I whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Y/n,” he replied softly.

————

“Take it down,” I strained, trying to keep the sobs from escaping my lips.

“Huh?”

“Take it down, Tony. All of it.”


“Y/n, what are you talking about? You love all this crap,” Tony gestured to the room.

The tears were getting harder to try and hide, so I didn’t bother. “Not anymore. If you want to hire someone to decorate, fine, but I can’t look at any of our stuff,” I snapped before dropping my tone to a whine, “Just take it down.”

I fled before he could ask any more questions that I couldn’t bear to answer. I retreated to my room, quickly locking the door and allowing my cries to be released. I curled into myself with my back against the door and let myself fall apart, knowing that the one person who could piece me back together was unreachable.

————

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

Despite my ignoring the calendar and anything that had to do with the season, Christmas Day had arrived. Tony had indeed paid a team to decorate the compound, it was too minimalistic for my taste but I was the whole reason for it so I couldn’t complain.

Tony, Rhodey, Vision and I plus Peter and his Aunt May were seated at the dining room table attempting to make cheerful conversation. Peter was telling us about some recent adventure he’d had patrolling his neighborhood. I tried to pay attention but all I really cared about was how quickly I could escape to my room and put an end to the day. At some point in the evening I feigned a headache, halfheartedly wished the group a merry Christmas and trudged down the halls to my safe haven. I was pulling out a set of pajamas to change into when a muffled ringtone emerged from one of my dresser drawers. While I hadn’t heard it play ever, I knew exactly what it belonged to. I flung the drawer open and dug the phone out from under my clothes. However impossible, there was only one person who could be on the other end of the call.

With shaking hands, I flipped the top of the device up and raised it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Merry Christmas, Y/n.”

My lips quirked upwards in a watery smile as the voice I’d longed to hear for months washed over me. “Merry Christmas, Steve.”

[wild3flow3r]

Santa Baby // HS

Hey everyone! It’s been a long time since I posted some writing, but this season I was a part of @goldenbluesuit​ Christmas Song Fic Challenge! It was so much fun and I want to give her a huge thanks for allowing me to participate! Make sure to read all of the other fics in this challenge that have been posted + will be posted in the upcoming days. Without further ado, here’s my piece!

word count: 1.4k

cw: none! just tried to make something sweet :)

In my twenty-five years of life, I never, not once, imagined myself falling into bed with a mall Santa. Let alone one I detested with every fiber of my being. But alas, it was Christmas Eve and even stranger things have happened during the holidays. But honestly, this probably isn’t the strangest thing to have ever happened. This cannot be the first time a mall Santa and his most trusted elf have found themselves in this most uncompromising of positions in the Elf’s flat just a quick cab ride away from Santa’s village.

His lips brush over my jawline before moving down to my neck, his teeth catching on some skin. I feel his hands trying to undo all the knots on the front of my shift. At one point he just starts pulling at them in aggravation, a low groan falling past his lips and onto my skin. I can’t help but laugh, which only earns me a hard squeeze on both sides of my hips.

“You’re being rude,” he mutters. Again I laugh.

“I quite vividly remember somebody stealing my lunch out of the fridge today. Now that was rude.”

He lifts his head up so his green eyes can gaze into mine. The shade of them is darker. If it’s from the lack of light, or from annoyance at me and my dress, or just because of what I feel poking against my thigh under his red trousers, I’m not sure.

“Mabel,” he groans. I am very much dancing on his last nerve now.

“Harry,” I sing-song back. “You should be better at those knots by now, honestly. We’ve been going at this for weeks. You’ve had practice.”

“You mess them up like this on purpose. I know it.”

I met Harry Styles one day in the middle of November when Santa’s village opened for business at our city mall. Originally, he was supposed to be an elf just like me. But then the Santa the mall had hired had fallen ill, and Harry was asked to step up in replacement. He very much did not look like Santa, even with the beard and glasses he was forced to wear, but the children, and their parents, loved him so much, for reasons I could never comprehend, even with being with him as I am now. And because he was such a hit, the mall asked him to step in as Santa permanently.

Even from the first moment I met him, I knew no good would come of him. First off, green eyes were my weakness. But then he opened up that big dumb mouth of his and made fun of my (handmade but mall approved) elf costume. Well, now that costume was making fun of him.

“This feels like something that could end you up on the naughty list.”

With a big roll of my eyes, I kick the elf boots off my feet, hearing the bells on them jingle when they hit the ground.

Another check off on why I found him so detestable. He took his job way too seriously. And not as in he actually thought of himself as Santa, but more the power dynamic between Santa and his elf. Often times I was the punchline to a joke he was making to a child and their parent. All harmless, of course, but they wound their ways under my skin until I was ready to burst with annoyance. And the constant references on finding myself on the naughty list, if I hadn’t found myself in bed with him nearly every night since the day we met, I would show him what would actually get me on the naughty list. Also, he likes to steal my lunches, a big fault in his personality.

I hadn’t meant to start sleeping with him. We were five days into our working relationship when it happened. He often liked to turn everything into a game. The staring contest was our most popular, but there was also the quiet game, and sometimes even a race on who could get to the cab first. He loves a competition. I, on the other hand, find them rather aggravating, but that’s probably because I usually lose. But I don’t know. One second we were in the breakroom by ourselves having a tough match at the staring contest, and the next his lips were on mine. It was like all this tension I’d been feeling for him was slowly being released. And that night, with one of his arms wrapped around my shoulder as we both laid on our backs, his breath slow and steady with sleep, it was the calmest I’ve felt in a long time. I wanted to do it again, and I guess so did he. So unless one of us really has plans that they cannot cancel, we find ourselves most nights after work at one of our homes. Usually mine, since Harry has a nosey roommate.

“Oh poor me, I’m so worried.”

“Just help me get it off.” His pout is almost adorable. Focus, Mabel.

“Stop eating my lunches. I don’t make them for you.”

“So you did tangle them on purpose!”

I shrug, a smirk playing across my lips. “Someone needs to teach you a lesson. Only good boys get what they ask for.”

He nuzzles his head back against my shoulder, his teeth nipping at my earlobe. “I promise to stop,” he whispers. The smile on his lips gives away his lie.

I hum in response. I push at his shoulders until finally he releases me and falls against the mattress on his back. His fingers brush against the back of my hand before I stand up and head over to the mirror. A knot like this would confuse Harry, but I know the ins and outs of it. It only takes me a few moments to get it free, but Harry still found himself bored waiting. I hear him fiddling around with the radio on my nightstand, landing on a station playing a Christmas Hits countdown. The first few cords of Santa Baby play through the speakers. Kylie Minogue starts to sing just as I turn to face him again.

His eyes grow wide as a shed the dress off my body, now only wearing pale green leggings. No matter how many times he’s seen me naked, he always makes it feel like the first. New. Exciting. Sexy.

He’s been sans his shirt and red coat for a while now, but his red trousers stand at my attention. One moment he’s on the bed, staring, and the next he’s on my like a lion on their prey. He throws me back on the bed before covering my body once more. Now his head travels down from my neck to my chest to my navel, humming along to the song the entire time.

“Been an awful good girl,” he mutters along with Kylie while peppering kisses against my hips as he peels the leggings off.

My fingers brush through his curls. I tug at them lightly before he moves any further down. He looks up at my with a question on his face.

“What’s going to happen after Christmas?” I whisper.

It’s been on my mind this last week. After tomorrow we would no longer be working together. We would no longer be seeing each other. I loate this man in front of me. But also, my heart has grown quite fond of him. And he’s really good with what he does in bed. Like really good. And sometimes he’s funny. Alright, a lot of the time he’s funny. And he really is kind, when he’s not trying to get a rise out of me. But we’d never put a label on this when we first started sleeping together. I don’t know what we are now. I don’t know what we will be. But I’d like to know now, to protect my heart if he decides to leave my life for good in two days.

He comes up again, pressing soft kisses against my lips until I’m smiling. “You don’t think you can get rid of my that easily, do you?”

“We never talked about-”

“I know. “But I’m not going to disappear after tomorrow. You’re too much fun to annoy to do that.”

“Oh shut it,” I mutter.

“With pleasure,” he grins before moving back south.

I don’t know what December 26th will bring, to see whether or not Harry and I have been living in a Christmas induced bubble. I don’t know if we’ll make it to the New Year. Maybe we could make it to Easter. But all I know for certain is right now, with Harry between my legs going as slow and tortuous as he can, and Kylie Minogue asking Santa to hurry down the chimney tonight. Kylie knew what she was talking about.

[jobrookekarev]

He's Wrapped Around Her Finger

Chapter: 1/1

Words: 3500

Summary: While Jo’s sleeping Alex gets to know his newborn daughter and settles into the role of Dad.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson Karev, Helena Karev, and Meredith Grey.

Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: Babies, Baby Care, Fluff, It’s so fluffy I'm going to die, Alex being a Dad, Alex and Jo being smitten with their daughter, Blood Mentioned.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: 3 fanfics in a week who is she! Also I had to Google what color the indicator line on diapers were because I remembered it was yellow at the start, but I didn't remember what color it would turn when it was wet so that how long it’s been since I changed a diaper.

……………………………………………………………………

“Helena Meredith Karev born on November 26th at 5:36 am at 21 inches long and weighing at 8 lb 15 oz., just 1 oz short of 9 lb,” Alex announced as he spoke to Meredith on the phone.

“1 oz. short of 9 lb wow,” Meredith said in astonishment. “How's Jo recovering?”

“She's doing good. She and the baby are asleep right now.”

Alex looks over at the bassinet that was parked next to Jo's bed. Jo slept on her side with one hand in the bassinet on their daughter's chest. Jo’s abandonment issues had come up earlier and Alex noticed she was having a hard time letting Helena out of her sight. Her hand on Helena's chest in the bassinet was how Jo maintained contact with her daughter while getting some much needed rest.

“Good, now promise me you'll never tell Jo that her daughter almost weighed 9 lb. at birth,” Meredith insisted with a little laugh.

“What? Why not?” Alex said confused as he looked over the little note card posted on  Helena's bassinet that listed her weight and other details. “Jo knows how much she weighs.”

“Yeah, Jo knows Helena weighs 8 lb. and 15 oz., but when you say she almost weighs 9 lb it isn’t the same thing. Thinking of your baby as 8 lb vs 9 lb is different. No woman likes to be remembered how big their baby was and how hard it was to push them out unless you want Helena to be an only child.”

“Okay, I promise to say she weighs 8 lb. and 14oz. whenever Jo asks,” Alex said rolling his eyes at Meredith as he watched Jo shift in her sleep so her legs were more apart.

Watching Jo be in excruciating amounts of pain as she labored was hard for him, but he pushed it aside to be there to support his wife. Jo’s pain was to the point of which she was completely out of it, just going through the motions as she pushed their daughter into the world. Alex had watched quite a few women give birth, but it was different because it was Jo. He loved her and he hated seeing her in pain knowing that he had partially caused it. 

When they had discussed having kids, Alex knew it would include a painful labor and that it would be hard on Jo and her body. Despite her training as an OB and numerous birth classes they had gone to, Jo didn't realize she was in labor until she was in active labor and they had to rush to the hospital. Alex knew that because of this experience Jo may not want to get pregnant again. If that was her decision, he would abide by it. Alex was happy because he was so absolutely content with the little girl in front of him. 

“Congratulations, Alex,” Meredith said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“You said that already,” Alex said although he didn't mind hearing it again.

“Yeah well, I'm going to say it again. Have you texted Cristina yet?”

“No, not yet and we haven't talked to too many people, apart from the video call earlier, I’ve just talked to you and my mom. It's hard to find the time. I just keep staring at her, and thank you Meredith for everything.”

“You mean for waking you up so you didn't miss your wife's labor, you're welcome.”

“Yeah that especially,” Alex said as he couldn't help but chuckle as he remembered the chaotic events of that morning. “I'll talk to you later, bye”

“Bye.” 

Alex put away his phone and settled into the uncomfortable chair next to Jo’s bed. He thought that they'd make these chairs more comfortable considering that most second parents and family members usually ended up spending the night there, but apparently not. He would have to check the budget and see if they could upgrade the chairs. Despite how he was no longer the chief of surgery, Alex learned a lot, and he still occasionally found himself reverting to taking care of the business side of the hospital. Alex shuffled around trying to get comfortable but clearly, he was not sleeping in this chair that afternoon.

Alex watched over his girl. He smiled at the thought, his girls, he had a daughter. He had a child of his own and oh how he was in love with her. Helena squealed in the bassinet throwing her arms around and Alex was up in an instant. Her tiny face squished even further as she let out a single cry. Jo stirred next to her and he felt like he was in the middle of a complicated surgery. 

Alex was quick to slip his hand under Helena as he took Jo's hand and put it next to her. He was cautious so as not to wake his sleeping wife and let her get the rest she deserved while also soothing their newborn. As soon as he put down Jo's hand and moved to cradle Helena, he stopped for a moment. Jo sighed but didn't move or wake up and he looked down at Helena who cried out again. Helena spread out her arms and continued to fuss. After a certain number of years, soothing babies became instinctual and Alex started to sway and shush. 

“Shh, Shh, it's okay, Daddy's got you.” Alex smiled down at her as she stopped fussing and opened her eyes to look up at him.

Helena studied him for a moment, staring into his soul in the way only a baby could before she decided this wasn't what she wanted, and cried out again in that little uh fussy cry. 

“Okay, okay,” Alex said, he looked back to the chair before he sat down and laid Helena on his knees. He undid the blanket intending to redo it into a proper swaddle. “Oh, I see what it is.” 

Alex saw the full diaper and the blue line that indicated she had her first wet diaper. He was weirdly proud about it especially as it meant that her kidneys were functioning well and she was hydrated. “Okay, give me a second.”

Alex cradled her close to his chest as he got up and walked over to the drawers where they kept wipes and diapers. He got the supplies and went over to the changing table in the bathroom. He propped the door open in case Jo woke up as he didn't want her to panic when they were gone and got the changing table open.

“You know, I promised your mom I’d do all of these diaper changes since she carried you for nine months, basically built you from scratch, and just now endured quite a few hours of labor with you. She wanted an epidural you know, but she didn’t realize she was in labor. You gotta remind me to tease her about that later, but not until after her stitches heal, and you were eager to get here too huh?” Alex said to Helena as she continued to fuss a little bit more as he quickly changed her and got her settled in a fresh diaper. 

Alex staring down at her as he pulled down the onesie Jo had put on her. He knew Jo like the ‘little turkey’ onesie, but it had buttons and buttons were always a struggle, even for a seasoned Ped’s doctor like he was. Alex resisted the urge to grab the other baby gown or even the one with the zippers as he finally did the last button. 

“There we go, are we happy now?” Alex asked, Helena looked around and was content and wiggled around. He wrapped her up into a proper swaddle before he picked her up again, but she looked up at him and then cried out again, still not happy. “I know, I am not-mom right now aren't I.”

Alex quietly talked to her as he settled her in his arms and walked back into the room. He sat down in the recliner and started to rock back and forth. “I'm not-Mom. I'm not what you want, I know, we don't know each other yet, although you might recognize my voice. I've read you lots of stories while you were still in your mommy's belly. I even did a little bit of singing too, but don't tell anyone around here that.” 

Alex settled into the movement of the chair as he looked down at Helena. She had stopped fussing and stared up at him again, seeming to take him in as she listened to his voice and he took that as a cue to continue. 

“I guess now would be the proper time for an introduction. I'm your dad, most people call me Alex or Dr. Karev around here at the hospital. Your mom calls me Alex too, but she drags it out a little in a way that's pretty adorable. Your Aunt Cristina is going to call me Evil Spawn and your Auntie Mare might do it too. You've met her already, although you probably didn't notice. She was on the video called when you were born, but I remember how you and your mom only had eyes for each other. Your mom and I, we don't have a big bio family, but we do have lots of friends and they're our family. They all love you so much already, especially your cousin Ellis.”

Alex rambled off to her as Helena just watched him, and he took in his daughter. He never really saw familiar features in newborns. They always just looked similar, like babies and not much else. The features really didn’t come in until they were a little older and then you could say they look like one parent or the other. Yet, as Alex looked down at Helena he saw his chin and his crooked lips in the way that she frowned as she cried. She looked like Jo too, she had Jo’s cute little cheeks and her eyes. Although she looked like an even mix of them now, he could tell that she was going to be a little tiny Jo running around their house. They joked about how they'd never be able to say no to their kid, and Alex knew that with just one look from Helena and he would melt like snow in the sun. His daughter would always be the bright spot in his day.

Helena's eyes started to droop, but she would occasionally blink them open. As if she was fighting sleep as much as Jo did. “You are already so much like your mother. She does that same thing too, you know. When we watch movies on the couch with Reese's, you haven't met him yet and he just knows you as the thing that keeps him from sitting on Mommy's lap. It might be a while before you two become friends, but you’ll like him too.” 

Alex rocked her as she fell asleep in his arms and it made him feel some weird sense of accomplishment because his kid fell asleep in his arms. He knew from experience that getting a baby back to sleep was no easy feat. He continued to hold her, not ready to put her back down again. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to put her down and he knew why Jo was hesitant to do so as well. He just sat there and rocked his daughter and held her and patted her back. 

“Anyway, Saturday nights are movie nights and your Mommy always curls up in my lap and puts her head on my chest. She always says she'll stay up and watch the whole movie,” Alex said as he leaned closer to whisper to Helena. “But she never does.”

“That's not true,” Jo whispered and Alex looked up to see her smile from where she was curled up in bed. 

She must have been watching them for a little while and he smiled back at her. A sense of relief filled his mind as she had woken up without panicking for the first time and he tried to remain calm as he smiled back at her.

“It is true, you always fall asleep just, like clockwork before the end credits.”

“I didn't fall asleep when we watched that one really bad horror movie.” 

“Yeah because it scared the crap out of you. I had to turn it off because you started crying.” 

“No, we had to turn it off because Reeses wouldn't stop barking at it.”

“Okay Princess,” Alex said, smiling as she raised her eyebrows at him and he chuckled as he got up and walked over to sit on her bed. The second he sat down Jo reached out, and he thought she was going to take Helena, but instead, she smacked the side of his arm. “Hey, I've got precious cargo here.”

“She’s fine and you can't use our daughter as a shield to protect you against my wrath,” Jo teased with a smirk of her own. She carefully sat up and Alex's smile faded as she grimaced when she moved. 

“Is your ice pack still cold? Do you want me to get you a new one or something?”

“No, I think I bled through the pad again.” 

Jo pulled back the blankets and he was relieved to see that there were no bloodstains on the sheets. Jo carefully got up out of bed and Alex put Helena down in the bassinet. 

“No, just hold her, I’ll be fine,” Jo said, waving him off. 

“Jo, let me take care of you,” Alex insisted as he watched Helena for a second to see if she’d fuss before he went over to help his wife. 

Alex put his arm around her and grabbed the IV pole as they took small and wide steps over to the bathroom. Jo let go of his waist as she stepped into the bathroom and grabbed the peri bottle and her other supplies. Alex got out a new ice pad and activated it, shaking it up before he felt it cool in his hand. He handed it to her before she waved him off again. 

“Just let me help you, Jo. I know it hurts you to whip and…”

“Alex,” Jo said, slightly annoyed as she cut him off. “You can change our daughter's diapers, not mine. I got this.”

“Are you sure, because honestly, I don't mind,” Alex argued, he wasn't sure how much she would let him take care of her, but he wanted to do this for her. If she let them. 

“Alex, today multiple people, several of whom are my coworkers, have seen me naked on a bed pushing out a baby. I need a moment of privacy,” Jo said, holding her hand out to block him from coming close.

Alex nodded and took a step back. He made a big thing about covering his eyes and turned around to go back out into the room, bumping into the doorway as Jo laughed behind him. He smiled as it didn't hurt that much and hearing her laugh after her tears earlier felt good. Alex rubbed his forehead as he went back into the room and picked up Helena again, knowing Jo would want to hold her the second she was back in bed. 

Alex looked down at her and smiled, completely smitten. From the moment Jo told him she was pregnant, he was over the moon. He had seen how parents had fallen in love with their child and he felt that love the moment Jo was pregnant. The moment Carina had placed their daughter on Jo’s chest. It was like his heart burst with love and happiness. It was so overwhelming and utterly consuming. He loved his daughter more than he could describe. 

He had taken care of babies his entire life. His mom had started to slip just after Amber turned one so the majority of her care fell to him. He practically raised Amber and Aaron until they were all put in foster care. After Amber got sick and had to go to the hospital and the state finally stepped in. After that, he took care of his mom throughout high school and college up until the day he got the job and flew out to the then Seattle Grace Hospital. Even then he sent money and hired someone to check on her. When it came to his career, he wanted to go into plastics, but somehow he ended up in Peds and he was good there. 

He took care of thousands of babies over the years and in caring for them he loved them. Alex watched their parents love them more than anything in the world, and he got a bit of that love when it came to Meredith’s kids. They were his nieces and nephew and he loved them like they were his own because they were family, but he still didn't experience the kind of love a parent had for their child, until the moment his child was there. It was all he could think about. She was all-consuming in a way that he could just stare at her for hours.

It wasn't until he really succeeded at being a Peds doctor that he knew he could be a dad. Even though it still terrified him. Every injured kid that walked through the door he could see being his kid. He went home to Jo and put his hands on her belly and he worried. Alex worried about all the possible complications, diseases, and injuries that their kids could get. Even now staring down at her, he knew she was perfect. Her APGAR score was a 10, she had good reflexes, and she was eating and wetting her diapers, and she was perfect, but he still worried. He was so lost in thought that he even noticed Jo had come up behind him until she pressed up against him and they stared down at their daughter. 

“She's perfect, Alex,” Jo whispered to him, kissing his cheek. She had always been able to since his worries.

“Yeah, she is,” Alex said as he put his arm around her as they both stared at Helena completely in awe of their daughter.

Jo moved to get back in bed and Alex helped her up, despite how she protested. After she was settled, Alex placed Helena in her arms before Jo could even ask.

“Thank you,” Jo whispered, cradling her close. 

They both continued to stare down at her and Alex sat back down in the chair and scooted closer to their bedside. Helena’s little eyes fluttered open, but she didn't cry as she stared up at Jo who smiled down at her. Completely smitten as well. 

“Yeah, that’s Mommy isn’t it,” Alex said reaching out and putting his hand on Jo’s knee. Jo didn't even glance up at him, she just smiled down at Helena. 

In the past nine months, he had watched Jo go through so many emotions, as he watched her become a mother. Everything she did was to care for their daughter. He knew that Jo was terrified about becoming a mom when they first started talking about kids years ago. She knew the heartache of a bad childhood because she lived it. She was terrified of her genes and she wanted a career first so he waited patiently for her to be ready. 

Watching her with their daughter in just the past few hours Alex thought she was the best mom in the world, although he might be a little biased. Jo was so good with her, the second Helena fussed or cried, Jo would pick her up. She was so attentive to their daughter and so loving, Alex couldn't help but just watch them together. 

“Daddy is staring at us,” Jo giggled as she looked up and caught him.

 Alex smiled completely unashamed. “What can I say, I'm awestruck by the two beautiful girls in front of me, my girls.”

“Your girls,” Jo smiled before she realized something and giggled. “Alex Karev has a daughter.”

“Oh God,” Alex said, putting a hand over his face as he realized the karmic payback that was coming to him. 

“With your luck, she’ll probably be crazy for whatever gender she ends up liking,” Jo laughed putting her hand on his arm as the color drained from his face.

“No, no, she is a baby. We're not talking about this,” Alex said, shaking his head.

“She's not going to be a baby forever,” Jo said as she tilted her head and smiled at him, clearly enjoying torturing him.

“No, but she is a baby right now, a newborn and she's going to stay that way,” Alex said looking down at Helena and rubbing her little cheek.

Jo giggled again as she leaned forward and reached her hand out to wrap around his neck and pull in for a kiss. Alex let himself linger on Jo's lips as she smiled against his lips. Helena squealed and they parted with a laugh as they looked down at their daughter who stared up at Jo. Jo traced her finger down Helena’s cheek as she rocked her and Alex smiled at his girls. Yeah, this was perfect.

……………………………………………………………………

AN: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much did this turn you into a pile of mush?

[chipistrate]

Present Kid!

Since I didn’t manage to get her done and have, sadly, abandoned her. I decided to show the progress I did get done for my first 3D model, and my first ahit mod! I don’t normally say this, but I’d really appreciate if you took the time to read this post. This project means a lot to me, and I want her to be out there, even if she didn’t get finished.

This actually started out as a level mod I made spontaneously, but I wasn’t able to do that. I wrote out the entire script, and after realizing I couldn’t make the level mod, I started workshopping it into a comic. That also didn’t go anywhere, though aspects of it did get reworked into storybook pages that also never got made! But I do still have the thumbnails!

The first was called A Merry Beginning, explaining HK and Presents past. The second was how I workshopped the entire plot of the mod into a storybook, it took the name of the mod; Hat Kids Christmas Celebration! She also was going to have an introduction piece in the style of the ones in the ahit manual

That’s enough of that- let’s get into the actual process of Presents making! So, it started with the initial character design idea, which surprisingly didn’t go through any changes.

She was digitalized and given color the same day! Then I had to make her model sheet, obviously.

This was difficult, but really fun! It’s amazing to see how she translated into the Ahit style! Then I got started on modeling! This was my very first 3D model, so the process may be a bit messy.

Heads up: I was posting my progress on my Instagram stories, so sorry for the low quality images. I started this whole project on November 26th, and started modeling on November 28th

I spent about 2 days on her first model, before scrapping it and starting over

This was extremely difficult- her skirt was not wanting to cooperate. It went through three changes before I landed on one I liked. . Aaaaaaaaaaand then I might’ve stopped working on it until a week before Christmas- hahaaa..... That was probably the beginning of the end, but the progress I made within a weeks time is impressive! Disclaimer- DONT DO WHAT I DID! I’m still recovering from the crunch time, late nights, and extreme stress. Unless you’re a college student who’s used to such a thing, don’t do it. The aftermath is not fun.

I made decent progress on day 1, almost finishing her body.

Next day I started work on the hair, which was difficult since it’s a completely different modeling style I needed to learn, but I finished it within a few days after three re-models.

I finally landed on this one that I was very satisfied with! And I moved on to finishing the body and adding a few details.

By day 4 she was textured completely, but before I got to that stage, I had to stop working for a couple hours because I got so excited my heartrate elevated and my hands started shaking and I just couldn’t concentrate- lmao

Also, very important detail; She has freckles! Now... Rigging... that was uh...

An experience. This was a giant motivation killer, I spent 5 painstaking hours trying to figure it out by myself, which was a huge mistake. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had grey hairs because of this.

BUT! Then I learned about weight painting! (Don’t ask how I didn’t know about it previously- I was severely confused and sleep deprived at that point). Though it took another 2-3 days to finish the weight painting, she was finally completed! I then moved onto;

EXPRESSIONS!

I actually managed to finish her entire expression sheet within a day! So, everything was ready to import! When,,

I also learned that she wasn’t the right FBX file type. Every time I tried importing her, the editor would either crash or she would come out looking completely wrong. This seems like such a stupid reason to give up on such a project, but I had been drained of all my mental energy for this. I had put so much into it, and I was barely able to enjoy Christmas because of it. After a day of trying to figure it out, I sadly admitted defeat and decided she wasn’t worth it anymore. It really is a shame I didn’t finish her, but I’m glad I even got this far! She was completely ready to import- and I did most of it in a weeks time! I love Present, I have a lot of ideas for her and other characters like her, but it’s for the best that I stopped working on her. Again, don’t do what I did. Don’t crunch yourself like this. It was a fun ride, but I can barely even remember what happened in that time because I had sunken myself completely into my work. Anytime I got a text I’d get annoyed, anytime I had to stop working I couldn’t get my mind off her. As somebody with an already shitty sleep schedule, she fucked it up so much and I was constantly sleep deprived. I’m still recovering from all of it, and I’m not sure if I can say whether it was worth it or not. Maybe I can share more about her, her story, and my ideas for the mod. But that’s for another post, for now, I need some sleep. I’m grateful I got as far as I did, and I love how she turned out, but I don’t think I’ll go through with completing her unless I have some assistance. Will I ever mod again? Honestly, I’d love to give it a shot! I have a ton of ideas written down or sketched out for outfit mods. I just don’t think I’ll be working on Playables for a long while. If you got this far, thank you. Genuinely, I appreciate you taking the time to read this far! This project still means a lot to me, and all I ask is for you to reblog it. Obviously, it’s alright if not, but I’d appreciate it.

Have a Happy New Years! Cheers to 2022!

[kyurilin]

Hey everyone I don't know why I'm doing and end of the year post when I don't really have the energy to do one and it's only the 26th but I have to do it while I'm thinking about it or I never will and this one is kind of special

2021 was an alright year the good kinda balanced out the bad

I turned 28 in January and had my first chance of getting covid in the same week because of my department lead which really sucked

My 105 year old great aunt iris passed away in May which continues to break my heart because she was an awesome person and I'm really gonna miss seeing her

My 80 year old grandfather passed away in August which was complicated because he was never like a warm and friendly grandpa but he had dementia and that changed his personality so the last few times I saw him he was easier to be around and that made it really really suck

Here's the good though

I had to knock one story's word count out because I started it in November of last year and couldn't remember exactly which part of it I worked on in 2021 but between my other stories that were for sure started this year I've written over 140k words this year which is fucking insane and likely only because I write everything in Google docs now

I haven't written that much in a long time and I owe it all to not handwriting anything anymore and my love of erasermic because about 95% of that is erasermic

There's a lot of stuff I haven't shared yet that I plan to share if I ever get it finished which you can probably figure out from my pinned post what is the stuff that will be shared lmaooo

But the real biggest thing of the year is just how batshit it still is to me that anyone saw a story titled Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life and read it

So like way back in like February or March maybe I joined an erasermic discord and IMMEDIATELT outed myself as a former Cars fanfiction writer to someone else who was online at the time and ever since then @purekesseltrash has not stopped bullying me into writing

Like legit, that was the first person who saw that story and was like 'you should absolutely post this' which led me into a downward spiral of self doubt for two months because I was absolutely writing that story for me and me alone (and there was smut in there which I never post in stories so I had to have a heated internal debate about leaving it in or taking it out and well anyone who's read it can probably nail down exactly where the smut used to be) and I really didn't think that with the ADHD writing style of just writing whatever the fuck I wanted whenever I wanted it would be anything good

And instead of anyone being like 'what the fuck is this ADHD fueled nightmare of a story why doesn't it have chapters WHY IS IT A NOVEL LENGTH ONE SHOT' everyone has fucking loved it and I'm just over here like thanks writing that was completely unplanned the only part I planned was the goddamn ending

No but seriously I'm stupid happy I got bullied into sharing it because every time I get a new comment or kudos on it I almost cry

It's the first story that was never crossposted to ff.net of mine because I held onto maining that site until 2017/2018 during my third Cars fanfic resurgence, and man. Guys.

My record for reviews/comments on a story is 34. And that's from a 16 chapter Cars fanfic called The Wreck that I wrote when I was 13 and deleted from ff.net about 4 or 5 years ago because it was so embarrassingly bad.

Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life is only like 2 unique comments away from tieing with that AFTER 15 YEARS

And that's not including kudos and notes people have made while bookmarking and the fact that @purekesseltrash also commissioned fanart for it like????

The love people have for this story is unreal considering I'm pretty sure the inspiration came from a TikTok about mic teaching the UA students how to party like a pro hero and rereading vigilantes until I had it memorized. There's a character in there who isn't named until the end of the story who is somehow partially important. My old Cars OCs Thunder and Storm have cameo roles. I think at one point Shouta slept a full 24 hours in a row during the story. Probably. Who knows. And somehow people suffer through reading this story and love it.

But it's made 2021 so worth it because I started writing MHA fanfic after getting 75% of the way through handwriting a FNAF AU story and getting stuck, and even though I was typing MHA fanfic on my phone I had the mindset that I was just doing it for me, which made it easy to do. I wasn't really planning on posting fanfic much if at all anymore because trying to keep up with it got to be A LOT and I think part of that was how wildly involved the FNAF AU was and how little I talked about it for fear of ruining it for people on the off chance I ever finished it.

So yeah everyone thank @purekesseltrash for making me post it because god knows I've already said thanks enough. It's become a story I'm proud of and love a lot even with the little mistakes I find every time I reread it (which I do a lot lmao), and I can't wait until the next time I drop a stupidly long story with no chapter breaks and no real formula on you guys but that will be probably somewhere in the middle of next year because my writing confidence is through the roof and I'm working on way too many stories at once.

Anyways I'll stop rambling now just know that I would gladly kill for any and everyone who has read that story without question and that it's made my year better because man. I finished the last bit of that story- the literal happiest part- and posted it the week of my great aunt's funeral and that's made it honestly easier to not focus on how sad that made me.

[ericakane]

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted on here. I actually deleted tumblr for a long time. A lot has happened since I started tumblr. I got divorced and moved from Kentucky to Ohio. reconnected with someone who was going through a separation and divorce. We started dating and within 6 months we were living together. I went from no kids to suddenly helping navigate three teenagers through a separation and divorce. I fell hard for this man and his kids. I never knew I could love someone else’s children the way I love these kids. We didn’t have a marvelous or lavish life by any means. And I soon realized my boyfriend was an alcoholic. Not the raging mean or sloppy type. But he would drink to pass out and forget about the day. I enabled him for some time. Drinking along with him but it got old fast for me. I could tell it wasn’t a life I wanted. I also started working in mental health and addiction and found my calling. All the while, I watched my boyfriend continue killing himself drink by drink. I wanted more out of my relationship, and I didn’t want to be a forever girlfriend. He was working three jobs to pay child support and alimony. We were barely making it. But he still bought beer. One night while he was working I sent a text saying “I wish you didn’t drink as much” and he read it but never acknowledged it. The first thing he did when he got home was open a beer. I slept alone most nights. I couldn’t do it anymore. One morning I left for work and called my mom. I told her I was going to leave him, and I needed somewhere to stay. It was heart wrenching. A couple days later I secured a rental truck and left work early. Packed everything and left a three page letter. I stopped reading his texts. He was frantic. He came home that night and I was gone. I was heartbroken but I couldn’t talk to him right away. Neither of us went to work the next day. The first day he missed in over 20 years. I went over to see him, it was only fair to talk. It was hard. I realized I couldn’t walk away so easily. He promised he was done drinking. It was so hard to trust that promise. But how could I not give him a sober chance, when I understood addiction and recovery so well? I helped people daily work through it. How could I not help him. We lived apart for 7 weeks. It felt like the longest 7 weeks ever. In that time, we got engaged. We made new commitments to each other. I moved back in on January 26th. We were married in March 28th (thanks to covid, it was planned for November 13th). We moved to Pennsylvania April 1st. We found out October 2nd that we were expecting our first baby together. We are having a baby girl. He has been sober over a year. I’ve never been happier, or healthier.

[the-colony-roleplay]

THE COLONY (NON-LIVEPLAY) GAMES OF MARCH 2163!!

Hey fam!

So Maddie and I have been working hard the past couple days (hence why you’ve hardly seen either of us posting on the dash) and we’re very pleased to announce that our first official Non-LivePlay Games are nearly ready! You can expect the results posted on the Games Blog in the next few hours, and in the meantime we’re just going to take a moment to give you a head’s up about what to expect when they hit the dash! 

So as you all know, within the verse timeline, the games happen at the end of every month during games season (February-November), but we have never before had an effective way to track all the games in verse for which we were not doing LivePlay events. Maddie and I have now orchestrated a way to do so, which will include the victors of the games, the final points tally, a summary of events featuring some character ‘highlights’ and a very general tally of roughly how well each character performed/when they were eliminated.

Along with now being able to see more frequent, acknowledged game activity in verse, our hope is that these non-liveplay versions of the games provide enough structure to inspire plots and new character connections, as they throw your characters into situations you may not have been able to predict, but also plenty of flexibility for your own plotting! Though we have written out as many interesting highlights as we could, in many cases we do not state exactly when or how a character is eliminated, and of course, just like the LivePlay games, the highlights are only a small moment of your character’s experience in the games. So feel free to come up with any of your own head canons either on your own or with other members! 

                              How We Got the Results

It’s important to note that nearly everything in these Games were randomly generated. We have literally run all the characters through an online program generator, that spat out random character events, mishaps, alliances and even ‘kill’ statistics. We then went through the results, selected the most interesting 20% of the content (it generates a lot of content), tweaked it all to fit the verse and game rules, and only made changes where necessary for feasibility, diversity or already established plots.

This means that all the finalists were randomly selected, and the generator even provided us with a list of specific number placements for every character, which we then simplified and used to supply you with general time frames instead, in order to leave more flexibility.  Team points were then calculated based on a kill statistics report also provided by the generator. 

Those of you who reached out and were the first to ‘volunteer’ your characters to be featured in the games summary, have received a bit more focus and more frequent mention, but we have mentioned every character at least once, regardless, so every member is included and should be coming out of this with some ideas to play around with! It also should be clarified that 'volunteering’ to be featured did not have an impact on how well those characters did in the games. It simply meant that we would prioritize those characters for getting more detailed mentions or character arcs, where possible. 

                                   Timeline and Plotting

As soon as the game post drops, the timeline will be moving forward to the 4th week of March (Monday-Sunday). Since this is not an explicit event, the timeline will work as it always does, in that you will be able to do threads from any time during the week, as well as in-game threads, if you wish. The games will start the morning of the last Saturday of the month (26th of March), and when the timeline moves forward, you will be permitted to explore early week plots, pre-game plots, in-game plots, or even day-after plots!  NOTE:  If you choose to do in-game threads, please title them accordingly for clarity’s sake on the dash. In fact, we would also recommend titling or maybe even dating any other new threads you explore in this timeframe to establish if they are pre-game or post-game. This may just help keep track of things if you plan to explore a variety of time chunks within this week. 

As mentioned, use this flexibility to your advantage and look for interesting connection opportunities! There are likely some character pairings that could open doors for after-math connections, pre-game plots, and plenty of in-game options. If you do not want to write threads for in-game events, you’re also welcome to simply connect with other members and come up with head canons to fill out or compliment what is already mentioned in the summary! As long as nothing conflicts with the games post, the world is your oyster (or something less disgusting)!

Again, since this is being treated more like a plot drop than an event, there are no specific restraints on old and new threads. You may continue your old threads as long as you need, and you may start new threads anywhere within the timeline as soon as it moves forward. The only restraint that applies is the standard timeline guideline of no longer being able to post new threads from previous weeks. 

                                             Wrap Up

I think that about covers it for now, so keep your eyes peeled for the games post! As always, if you have any questions that arise about anything, don’t hesitate to reach out, we’ll be happy to help! And if you have ideas you want to explore but aren’t sure if they will fit into the verse or the game rules or anything like that, definitely feel free to run them by us! 

Remember too that there are resources available to you on the Games Blog such as the Glossary and the Weaponry Page if you need any refreshers! 

Hope you enjoy what we have in store for you, and happy plotting! 

Much love, 

Col22Mods

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With - Update + Important Information

This is the provisional banner, what do you think? My graphic design abilities are sadly very limited.

[If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out!]

Hi everyone!

First of all, I want to say thank you. The incredible amount of enthusiasm the community has met this silly idea with has been staggering, and I'm truly grateful for each and every interaction that has resulted of this. I feared my project wouldn't interest anyone, now I'm scared of disappointing the huge number of people who've cared about this. I promise to do my best to make this cool because you all deserve it.

I have now (as of August, 21) contacted every person who wanted to be interviewed. Every single one. If I haven't contacted you, then it's because I didn't know you wanted to participate: I asked you to tell me, so just likes and reblogs didn't count as "participation entries". You need to come forward and tell me, and now is a good time! I'll keep interviewing people until no one asks, so no worries at all about being "late".

This is my contact page, don't be afraid of reaching out!

Now, because the amount of people I've interviewed has far surpassed my wildest dreams (I prepared questions for 8 people and I've interviewed well over 60!), I think making this a weekly feature is going to be unfair, because some people would need to wait over a year for their interview to get published. So I've decided to make this a biweekly feature, that is, two posts a week. Some people will need to wait until March to see their interviews, but that's the best I can do. This also means that those people who were told that their interviews would go up in October and November need to ignore me enterely because the timeline has changed. 

The interviews will go up in chronological order of finishing the interview. I contacted people in chronological order of them saying they wanted to be interviewed, but some interviews took mere hours and others took a week, so I think it's fair to post them as they were finished. They'll always be published on Wednesdays and Saturdays, except when they coincide with the beginning or ending of the month (because that's when I post my TBR and Wrap Up posts). 

The official hastag is #talking books with, so you can follow it to keep track of what I've posted. The calendar for the September interviews is as follows:

Wednesday, 2nd

Saturday, 5th

Wednesday, 9th

Saturday, 12th

Wednesday, 16th

Saturday, 19th

Wednesday, 23rd

Saturday, 26th

Tuesday, 29th

(The interviewees are a surprise!)

All interviews will be published at 16h (4pm), Madrid timezone, on the days noted before. You can check out what time is that for you here.

And that's all for now! I'm really very excited about this, I just hope the interviews themselves are received with as much enthusiasm as the post announcing them was 😂

If you have feedback, questions, suggestions, or ideas, then please contact me! Everything is welcome. 

[lycorogue]

Canonically, When Does the NY Special Take Place?

So, in today’s episode of “LycoRogue way overanalyzes things”, I think ZagToon has actually given us some pretty decent evidence to more-or-less lock-in when this special takes place.

The key to narrowing it all down relies on this quick shot that the Miraculous team deemed worthy to grace us with:

This is Adrien’s bodyguard starting up a meditation app just as the flight from Paris to NYC is about to take off. This, plus the sunset showcased in the next few scenes, will help us start to narrow it all down.

So, let’s actually start with their flight. Based on a quick Google search for “fights from Paris to NYC” I got this list of potentials in November (yes, just about all of them will then give you a pop-up stating that flights are restricted to/from US because of COVID, but we’ll ignore that right now).

The airline the animators created for the special has a design that seems to mimic Air France.

So, we’ll go with Air France’s listed nonstop flight - given that Alya mentions the “looooong” flight, we don’t see or hear anything about layovers, and everyone passes out, we’ll presume it’s a nonstop flight - and say that the class was on that plane for 8hrs and 40mins, more-or-less.

Okay. So we have the flight taking off at 15:55 (3:55pm). It is roughly an 8hr and 40 minute flight. This brings the class to 00:35 (12:35am) their time. At the latest, if we go with the 8hr 55min flight listed above, they’re arriving at 00:50 (12:50am). Add in the roughly 30min drive from JFK international airport in Queens to where they’re staying somewhere presumably around midtown Manhattan, and it’s past 1am their time. No wonder Ms. Mendeleiev wants them to go directly to bed when they get to their rooms!

Anyway, back on track. So, if they’re landing somewhere between 12:35am and 12:50am their time, that means it’s between 6:35pm (18:35) and 6:50pm (18:50) Eastern Time.

Now, we won’t get into things like “how the heck did they see the sunset on the plane and it was still happening as they drove into Manhattan when it probably takes an hour to make it through disembarking and Customs and weaving through a crowded JFK alone” because there are superheroes for friggen everything in this universe canon, so we can pretend 9/11 never happened and airport chaos isn’t as bad.

Plus, the “sunset” Adrien and Marinette watched was still mostly above the cloud line, so it was closer to “golden hour”.

Now, the attack on the plane from an American supervillain and the quick capture by the main NYC/East Coast superhero team pinpoints the flight as nearing its end. They’re probably only a couple of miles out from the coast. Especially since Majestia welcomes their arrival, the flight is probably close enough to being over American soil.

Further proof: the flight is making its decent into JFK as TechnoPirate is handed over to the authorities. Since the superhero team was flying faster than the plane’s cruising speed, it shouldn’t have taken them long to land and hand him over to the probably already awaiting SWAT team.

Okay, so we have established that the plane is probably coming into JFK International between 6:35pm and 6:50pm ET, and that they are in the Golden Hour leading to the official sunset as the plane descends. Which is also why the sun isn’t close enough to the horizon for an official “sunset” quite yet as they drive through what is presumably Broadway.

I mean, it’s not crucial that it’s Broadway, but it looks like they’re aiming for it to be...

Although this one marquee says “Roadway Musical”, so....

BACK ON TOPIC!

Okay, so it’s closing in on 7pm ET - or is closer to 7:20pm if you go with the 6:50 arrival and add in the 35min drive - and it’s the Golden Hour. Based on where the sun is, I’d maybe peg the sun to be officially setting (as in, touching the horizon and sinking below it) between 7:15 and 7:45pm (19:15 and 19:45).

Plug THAT information into timeanddate.com set for Manhattan, and you’re looking at the first week of September or even the last week of August. 

Alternatively, you could argue that it could also be the last week of March/first week of April.

HOWEVER, when the class arrives at the hotel and Marinette and Adrien are first trapped by the dreaded Automatic Doors, we do see this shop sign in the background sporting a jack-o-lantern design. Halloween-themed stores like this are usually seasonal and don’t open until the end of August/start of September. Spirit, the largest Halloween-themed company in the US, has its “pop-up” stores open late-August through early-November. So we’re probably looking at those September dates over the March ones.

Especially since we also get this establishing shot of the class pulling up to the museum and the second show of Adrienette vs Automatic Doors where we clearly see that some of the trees are already changing color. This solidifies that the French-American Friendship Week is indeed during autumn. 

Based on that evidence, the first week of September does seem a bit early. First of all, leaves don’t start changing in NY until the last week of September/1st two weeks of October, depending on how dry/cold the weather has been. So, what if we take the dialogue at face value and ignore that “sunset” is when the sun touches the horizon? What if we take it as “the start of Golden Hour when the sky becomes more of that orange hue”? In that case, we’re going back to the projected arrival time and using THOSE times against that one website.

The US premiere - which ended up being the world premiere - of this special was on September 25, which had a sunset time of 6:47pm. It could be a nice, neat way to have the air date be the canon date of this special and the class’s arrival within NYC. We can even bump it to the premiere on Disney Channel France and have it be Saturday, September 26th, with a sunset time of 6:45pm ET. This way it makes sense that Marinette wouldn’t already be with her class leading up to the bus departure, since it would be a Saturday and non-school day, as well as why Luka would be available to give her that ride at about 3pm (15:00) instead of being in school/just getting out of school himself.

Also, if Adrien still has the same schedule he did back in “Copycat”, he has fencing practices on Fridays.

We know that post-practice, Adrien tells Kagami that his class is going to NYC “tomorrow”, which would seem to confirm that the class is flying out Saturday afternoon. Kagami’s “I’ll see you tomorrow” and mention of "give us more time to practice” doesn’t necessarily mean fencing class and instead probably explains what they do for “dates” in this awkward “are we dating now?” limbo they’re in.

So, what do you think? Is their NYC trip from Saturday, September 26th through Monday, September 28th? Should we give more attention to the actual sunset times and have the trip be the first week of September? 

Regardless of how we time the sunset, this trip IS in autumn, but it’s also after everything that’s happened in the first 3 seasons, which most likely means this is the start of a new school year. How do we feel about the entire class lucking into being in Miss Bustier’s class again; no new students and not losing anyone to a different class? What about the fact that Marinette and Adrien have officially been Ladybug and Chat Noir for a full year, and that Paris has been surviving Hawk Moth attacks apparently daily for that year? What about the fact that Adrien’s birthday is probably right around the corner again? You think they’ll do another episode focusing on that and how it differs from his birthday in “The Bubbler”?

What’s your theory on everything? Do you have more evidence to lock this date down further?

[doof-doofblog]

"Ben,  I Said The Corsa Keys, You - !"

Thursday 26th November 2020

Hello again everyone! I feel like I'm on a roll when it comes to these blog posts, I think I've done one a day this week, just to make sure I'll catch up! I am back in work tomorrow, so that will mean Friday's episode will be up on Monday, but from then on I'm sure I'll be completely up to date!  I'm really looking forward to seeing what the next few episodes have in store for us!

Anyway, let's get started, the episode begins a the Mitchell household, as Callum, Phil and Ben gathered having breakfast, Ben appears to be looking over some kind of magazine, he seems a little bit irritable and shows his Dad in the magazine that someone has sold a car (the one Kush couldn't get away from the robbery in) and got a decent amount from it! Phil doesn't seem phased, but it seems to upset Ben that that part of the money would've made a huge difference for them all. Phil tells his son to try and forget about it, it's not worth him getting wound up over, it's better that he remains positive that he hasn't been caught by police and sitting in a jail cell. As Phil leaves the room, Callum kind of says the same thing to his boyfriend, he questions why he can't simply just let it go like his Dad also has, but Ben is adamant that he can't simply let things go, considering he knows that someone grassed their family up, and he wants to find out who! Oooo will Callum let on to what he knows? I feel like he's already got a guilty conscience right now, how much more will he be able to take?!

Out on the Square, Tina is heading out, as she leaves the Atkins household Gray seems to stop her in her tracks, I'm unsure how to look at this scene, is Gray maybe checking up on her, making sure she's leaving the house spotless? She reassures him that she's left the house looking clean and tidy and there shouldn't be anything out of place. As they go their separate ways, Tina catches up with Shirley and realises she's bought the morning paper, Tina seems pretty eager to see what's been mentioned in it. However when she sees the front page, she devastated to see that her story hasn't even made the headline, but what's an even bigger blow, is when Shirley turns a few pages, a headline appears which reads - "Councillor Beale Is Hailed A Hero For Exposing Corrupt Landlord!" - Tina is even more devastated to realise that her story has been completely and utterly twisted! But then, how the hell is Suki going to react when she sees the news headline?

Meanwhile, at the Cafe, Whitney, Stacey and Kat are all gathered around the table and the topic of subject of course is Kush. They are all completely aware that Kush is still hiding in Whitney's attic, however Stacey reveals that she keeps getting approached by Martin who's continuously asking questions about his best mate, but of course Stacey isn't letting anything slip and telling him nothing. Whitney is still concerned that Kush will be up in her attic when Sonia comes home, she questions Kat whether Kush has thought about handing himself in to the police, but surely that would be the worst idea? It's then that Kat reveals to them both that Kush has suggested that he does a runner, and has asked her to go with him, that way they would be able to have a fresh start. It appears to be a bit of shock for Stacey and Whitney - will Kat really go through with Kush's idea and leave the children behind?!

At the Carter household, Mick seems to be in a world of his own as he's cooking some breakfast. The pan is sizzling with the egg and bacon inside it, but Mick doesn't appear to be paying attention to what's happening in front of him, it looks as if his mind is completely focused on something else. Linda enters the room and manages to snap Mick out of his daze. As he brings himself back down to Earth he notices that his wife is holding another costume, she appears a bit doubtful of herself at first, saying that her business idea might not even win the Lucy Beale Award, but as soon as she mention's Max's name - Mick is quick to support his wife, informing her that she should go for the Award and she should post her new ideas online early to get more attention. Linda is surprised but yet very flattered and excited by her husband's idea and she excitedly hurries to find Ollie.

Returning to the Cafe, Peter approaches his Gran and brother, mentioning that their Dad has been mentioned in the local newspaper, mentioning that he's been accepting bribes off Suki. However Kathy is quick to defend her son and acknowledges that the news article claims that Ian refused her bribe, but something doesn't sit right with Peter - why would their Dad turn down money?! As everyone knows, money is one of the main things that Ian is obsessed with. Bobby tries his best to stick up for his Dad, but as soon he speaks his opinion, Peter turns away - as if he doesn't even want to listen to what his brother is saying. Kathy notices the tension in the room between them and she scolds Peter for ignoring his brother, Bobby tries to go after him, but has no luck in grabbing his attention. Meanwhile at the other side of the Cafe, (Can I just say how much I like the new layout of the Cafe, obviously they've done it due to Covid, but I think it looks a lot more posher inside now, I hope they'll keep it that way!) Shirley and Tina are sat together reading over the news article in the paper and discussing how Ian has managed to get away with his actions yet again, it's then that Shirley suggests whether Kathy knows something, she has seemed to noticed that the rest of the Beale family haven't seen eye-to-eye with Ian in recent weeks. She knows full well that she and Ian aren't talking, could it have something to do with the story, but Tina is insistent that that has nothing to do with it, Shirley questions her sister whether she knows something - I'm sure you guys will remember that Kathy drunkenly revealed to Tina about Ian forging her signature and re-mortgaging the Cafe, will Tina perhaps take it upon herself to reveal that story?!

Meanwhile, at the Vic, Ian is also reading the article about himself, as he makes his way into the kitchen, he finds Callum sat at the kitchen table waiting for him. He seems surprised to see him there and he begins to question whether he's there to talk to him about the article, however Callum drops the bombshell that he knows it was him who grassed Phil and Ben up to the police. Ian is backed into a corner, he questions whether the call was meant to be anonymous, but when Callum reveals that he heard the recording, to him it was blatantly obvious as to who the identity was. He informs Ian that both Phil and Ben have no idea that it was him. Now the conversation takes an interesting turn, part of me was going thinking that maybe Callum would be able to somehow convince Ian not to say anything to police - or something (I'm not too sure) but instead he appears to be asking Ian to go up against Phil and have a word with his DI! Ian is adamant he wants nothing to do with it, he doesn't want his name being brought up in the situation, regardless whether the police are so eager to nail Phil, it may mean more trouble for him also if Phil finds out it was him that grassed them up?!

Returning back outside on the Square, Kat sees Phil and Gray having a quick discussion. As Phil leaves the conversation and Gray gets onto the phone, Kat approaches Phil once again, demanding that she gets her share of the money, also repeating herself that even though the idea didn't go to plan, everything was her idea. Finally it looks like Phil agrees to give her her share (Is he just bluffing though?!) he asks her to pop round later in the day and he reveals he's been given a good price for the stolen vehicles. Kat is surprised to realise that Gray is the one who's doing all the paperwork, pricing and selling for Phil. Something is also is making me think, what is Gray getting out of it? It's not like him to do a dodgy deal for Phil, is maybe because he's helping Shirley out, who has become a good friend of his? Who knows?!

Back at the Carter household, Linda is trying to persuade little Ollie to try on another superhero costume, although the little boy seems reluctant as the costume happens to have a little stain on it. At first, Mick is supportive and trying to softly coax the little boy into putting the outfit on, however as Linda continues to keep badgering Ollie, Mick seems to lose his temper with her. He makes the valid point that regardless of her new business idea, Ollie is a little boy, their son, not a prop! He takes the little boy downstairs and Linda is left baffled by her husband's outburst. She grabs her phone and dials a number - one guess as to who she's calling - Max?!

At the restaurant, Callum has arranged to meet up with his brother, Stuart. As Callum sits himself down, Stuart is looking incredibly happy. He asks his brother whether he can keep a secret, without being obvious and giving out too much information, Callum comments that that's just what he's been doing recently, hiding nothing but secrets. Stuart looks as him in confusion, but his brother assures him it's nothing worry about. Stuart then decides to drop his secret onto his brother and reveals that hopefully in time, Callum could become an Uncle again. At first, Callum seems confused - how "in time" will he becoming an Uncle again? If Rainie isn't pregnant and Stuart hasn't slept with someone else? Stuart reveals that that part is the secret, but assures him things will come to light in due course. He tries to persuade his brother that he hasn't cheated on his wife and he isn't in any trouble, but then Callum drops the bombshell to his brother that in actual fact, he is the one who's in trouble. Will he actually tell his older brother what's been going on? Will he actually reveal that someone is making his life a misery if he doesn't do something?!

Back out on the Square, Peter as walking down the street as Kheerat approaches him as the cross ways. Kheerat happens to warn Peter on his old man being very careful when it comes to namedropping people in news articles. Peter tries to convince Kheerat that he has nothing to do with his Dad, but in Kheerat's eyes, they both share the same name, which means that they're all as bad as each other. As they go their separate ways, Kathy watches from the Minute Mart as Peter walks in, acknowledging that he's also having a row with Kheerat as well as having one with his younger brother. Peter then reveals that he's currently ignoring Bobby, Kathy tries to console her Grandson, she explains that Bobby has been through so much since his return to the Square, and he's literally been trying his best to make up for everything he's done, even though nothing would be able to bring Lucy back, he's trying. Once again she explains to him that Bobby looks up to Peter, his opinions and thoughts mean more to him than anyone else's. She tries to persuade him not to push him away, as one day she's sure that he'll need Bobby as much he needs him right now.

Returning to the restaurant, it looks as if Callum has revealed everything to his brother. He explains as he's literally being torn apart by his DI trying to get his hands on Phil, but then also wanting to be able to be a part of the Mitchell family with Ben and Phil. It seems that in his heart, Callum can no longer go through with this, he needs to put it to an end somehow. Stuart states that there is nothing on file at the moment in time, the DI is only using Callum to get to Phil, he suggests if he wants to remain loyal to his boyfriend and his Dad, he needs retrace his steps and get rid of anything that may cause their arrest. Once he's done that, they can focus on DI Thompson.

The next scene shows Kat visiting Kush in the attic, explaining that Gray has come to see him. Kush seems shocked to hear that Gray is there to see him, considering he's a type of solicitor. However, when Kat reveals that it was Gray who managed to sell on the vehicles for Phil, it gives Kush and bit more of a relief that Kush knows exactly what has happened and agrees to talk to him. As he makes his way downstairs and they all gather in the kitchen, making sure that Kush can't be seen from any police waiting outside. Gray reveals that with the current situation Kush has found himself in, he could be looking at 5 years in prison! Considering he already has a charge of GBH from early on in the year, to add this crime on top would just make things a hell of a lot worse for him. He apologises that there's nothing more he can do, leaving Kush and Kat devastated that they could be looking at time inside. As Gray leaves the room, Kush feels that their only option now is to do a runner, sooner rather than later. As soon as he urges Kat to along with him, she stops him in his tracks and states that basically HE hasn't got a choice, not her. What is she saying? Will she end up running away with Kush or stay to be with her children?!

Returning to the Beale household, Bobby is once again scrubbing his hands aggressively and counting as he does so, Peter enters the house and finds him washing his hands again. It looks as if what his Gran has said has made perfect sense to Peter, he reveals that he doesn't want Bobby to torture or punish himself any longer, he's suffered enough over the past few years. He admits that Bobby was just a child when he killed Lucy, and that his actions were in fact an accident, the thing that really screwed everything up was everything that happened afterwards. All the lies surrounding the family and the extent they went through to cover everything up. Bobby can't believe what his brother is saying, its a look of shock, confusion, relief, he admits that he's been waiting for his brother to say this for a very long time. It's then that Peter happens to mention their Dad and Jane (Oh I wish Jane would come back one day!) should've done more to protect and look after him, he then asks a really interesting question - "We know who's really to blame?!" - Is he meaning their Dad???!!!

Meanwhile, Mick and Linda appear to be in their car, pulling up in a car parking lot. This scene really worried me. Linda is speaking to her husband, asking why he never told her the truth about what he got up to whilst visiting Lee. Ahh so it was Lee she called up earlier! She reveals that instead of being mugged, he was actually in brawl at a bar. Mick then reveals that the men he fought with were flaunting over a young girl who appeared to be half their age, he admits he just lashed out as they should've known better. Ah! So everything is making sense! He lashed out at them because he's STILL realising what happened to him during his childhood. Linda begs her husband that in future, if he ends up bottling everything up, he needs to talk to someone - whether it'll be her, Tina or Shirley, she asks him to promise her he'll speak to someone. Mick is quiet as Linda pleads to him, he simply responds with a "Yea!" - Linda then gets out of the car to do their shopping. As she walks away, Mick is left alone in the car, however this is where things are looking really dark for Mick. He watches his wife walk away in the rear-view mirror, then his attention is brought to the brick wall which is placed a few yards in front of him. Suddenly he looks dreary, he looks sad, he brings his foot to the car's accelerator and begins to rev the engine slowly. He places his hand against the steering wheel and his eyes are focused on the brick wall ahead. Tears enter his eyes as he revs the engine more repetitively and loudly, suddenly it looks as if he darts straight towards the wall - BUT Linda appears out of no where and grabs the shopping bags from the car. Had he simply been debating whether to commit suicide? With everything that's going on in his personal life right, is he really feeling so low that he simply can't find a way out or a way to cope that he wants to end his life?! If he's seriously having suicidal thoughts, he needs to tell someone, he NEEDS to tell someone what's happening, what's been going on, otherwise these terrible, horrendous, suicide thoughts are going to get worse and possibly get a lot more reoccurring.  

The final scene of this episode is bloody nail biting!!! Phil finds Ben in the Arches he's asking him to give him the keys to a certain vehicle he can pass on to somebody. Ben throws him a set of keys and they discuss getting something for lunch. When Ben leaves the Arches, with the door slightly open, with both Phil and Ben out of sight, Callum finds his chance to sneak into the Arches to remove the recorder. As he makes his way inside, he slowly goes to grab it from under the table, however he hears Phil calling Ben from outside, it looks as if Callum slightly panics and hides in the sink hole in the Arches, as he does so he leaves a mess on the floor. As Phil enters the building, having realised that Ben gave him the wrong set of keys, he notices all the paperwork that has fallen on the floor, as he begins to pick it up - Callum watches nervously, however when gets all the pieces together, he slightly looks up and notices the recorder which has been bugged underneath the table, he simply removes it and Callum is left devastated - realising that Phil is going to be asking some really serious questions.

How the hell is Callum going to dodge his way out of this one? I mean, part of me is thinking that that scene could've gone so many different ways. He's earned Phil's trust, so why would he attempt to hide? What would it matter if Phil found him in the Arches, Callum could've easily said he was looking for Ben? Also Callum could also prove his loyalty to Phil and Ben and possibly coming clean but then maybe destroying or getting rid of the recorder?! What do you guys think? What is going to happen now Phil has found the recorder? How his Callum going to explain this?

I hope you've all enjoyed reading! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next! I'll be back on Monday, I promise! Thanks again for reading, it means the absolute world! Love you all xXx

[thathonleygirl]

The Beginning

November 2019 – June 2020 Background

I decided to start this documentation of my journey into motorcycling for many reasons, mainly because I want to work on my writing skills and sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the mindless scrolling. I also think I’ll enjoy going back and reading this when I’m less of a rookie I’ll be recreating the timeline from the MSF course to the present from memory. I decided to dive into motorcycling as a hobby for myself, and also as a hobby for me to share with my boyfriend of 2+ years, Chris. Ultimately I can confidently say he inspired me to ride on my own and has been so supportive every step of the way.

November 2019 – MSF Class & getting my motorcycle endorsement I remember this weekend like it was yesterday. It was a freezing weekend and I’m out in the parking lot of RCCC bundled up from head to toe. I was happy it was cold because I was super nervous and excited, and heat stresses me out. There’s about 15 of us in the class, and right off the bat everyone is super friendly because we’re all here for the same thing – there was defiantly a wide range of skill levels and reasons for taking the class – but we’re all there for the same class. The two teachers of the class were AWESOME, and I’ll remember them for the rest of my riding career. They took us through the basics – controls, friction zone, etc. and soon we were riding through the first set of drills. My bike was a Kawasaki Eliminator from the 1800’s and it kept shutting off due to the cold weather. It also was impossible to find neutral, even the instructors couldn’t find it – I was just relieved that it wasn’t operator error. At the end of the 1st riding day they both told me they were impressed and proud of how I did – which meant so much to me considering I had never touched a clutch before, lol. The second day was a little rough, but still a success, mainly because I began to overthink every little thing because I knew there was going to be a test at the end of the day. This is when I first learned the importance of your headspace when on the bike, and how too much anxiety can be catastrophic. That being said, I still passed the class and got my endorsement the next week I really wish I had gotten the contact info for the people in the class, but the excitement of passing the class got the best of me.

March 2020 – Meeting Jolene I’d be lying if I said the process of bringing Jolene home was smooth, and the truth is I have a newfound hatred for dealerships and salespeople, LOL. But it was all well worth it. I went to Team Charlotte Motorsports with the intention of buying a Honda Rebel 500 in all black, but was disappointed when they didn’t have the right colors, and the bike just didn’t feel right when I first sat on one. But oh boy, when I first sat on Jolene I knew she was the one and I knew I had to have her. I’ve always been super laid back but when my mind is set on something, I get DETERMINED. After leaving the dealership because the price was too high, I began to obsess. After a week of negotiating and an extra fiery in-person negotiation, I finally got the price I wanted and Chris rode her home the next day. The whole process was rewarding in the sense of getting what I want and not backing down!

March-April 2020 – Attitude Adjustment I was off to a ROCKY start, and a few times I lost a lot of hope and had a lot of “WTF did I get myself into?!” moments in my first few loops around our neighborhood. My bike felt 100x heavier and harder to maneuver than my Eliminator, and my nerves were getting the best of me. I was scared to even let out the clutch at first. But after a few times stalling, I was doing loops in first gear around the neighborhood. On the third round of neighborhood loops, I was having a moment overthinking a left turn from a stop sign, and dropped the bike after it stalled and jerked in the middle of the turn. It was a devastating moment because my immediate reaction was that I just ruined my brand new bike in less than 100 miles, and the salt in the wound was the fact that I couldn’t pick the bike up. Luckily, a good Samaritan neighbor was close by with help, and the bike was totally fine (just wasn’t in neutral so it wouldn’t start). Not even a scratch, I’m a lucky girl. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself and hopeless but that was getting me nowhere. In that moment, I realized one theme in all my “practice” – I was scared of my bike, and was not taking control over her like I should be. I began to try and change my mindset, and just love the fuck out of her like she was my best friend. It’s crazy how much your mental state affects performance, especially on a motorcycle. As my attitude shifted, so did my confidence and success. After endless neighborhood loops and sideways stares from the neighbors, I finally made it out on the road (just down the street to the nearest park, but out of the neighborhood nevertheless! That was a game changing feeling for me. That is what it’s all about.

April 2020 – Real Deal At this point, im still having pretty intense nerves before every ride, but I have made it out of Edison Square (finally). The first ride ALL THE WAY out of the neighborhood was me following Chris who was driving his truck, leading me on what would become my trusty loop. We wanted to take some pictures for Instagram, which I’ve been trying to grow since I got Jolene. The biker community on social media is AWESOME, it’s incredible how many other riders around the world I’ve gotten to share experiences with and learn from, most importantly being able to “meet” other girl riders. Anyways, during that first mini trip following chris I finally made it into 5th gear and got into some twistys, I was smiling so hard in my helmet the whole time. I feel so close to my bike now and with every ride I feel more in tune, and less intimidated by her. I almost feel like she’s a horse or something, lol. We stopped to take some pictures in front of some office building which was empty because Covid – I felt so uncomfortable taking pictures but Chris was such a good sport in trying to get the best angles LOL. The whole Instagram thing has defiantly taken me out of my comfort zone – but so has riding as a whole – and I never want to go back. After this trip, I started going out on the same trip as much as I could, but still was having intense pre-ride jitters – but with every ride, I felt less anxiety and I could actually enjoy and have fun while still learning and practicing the basics. The post-ride bliss, however, was always an amazing feeling and I noticed that on the days I did get out to ride, I felt more at ease and generally better for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, we are still waiting on chris’s bike to be done getting worked on.

May 2020 – First Group Ride We finally got chris’ bike back after SUCH a long time. It’s crazy how much I worry when he’s riding his bike with me driving the car; but I don’t worry at all about myself when I’m riding lol. Side note – I’m such a lucky girl to have chris and he amazes me on a daily basis. I love how he set up the group ride, knew the route we were going to ride and also planned out how we would meet up with our two friends along the way. Before this ride, I finally just felt excited for the ride, and less nerves in the pit of my stomach. I found myself agonizing over which placement in the lineup I wanted to ride in, weighing out the pros and cons of each – I had to keep reminding myself that I don’t know shit, there’s no point in worrying, and just to trust chris (that option hasn’t let me down yet!) Side rant – im realizing as I ride more and more miles that most of my fears have been irrational. It starts with me conjuring up a situation that I feel would be dicey on a motorcycle, then I obsess over all the possible negative outcomes in those situations, and then I obsess over when I will come across them in my journey. So far – I have not been right a single time. For example – left turn at a yellow blinking light – I wanted to actually reroute my ride to avoid this, but when I was forced to do it, I rode through it with NO issues. It’s crazy what a whirlwind our minds can conjure up with little to no reason or backup to support our fears. Long story short, I need to get over myself and go with the flow, and take each learning experience as just that. Again, chris’s patience is remarkable. Back to the group ride – it was awesome. I was again, smiling so hard in my helmet as chris and I chatted through the turns, as he’s telling me how proud he is of me and just having all the good feelings along the way. So glad we went with the Cardo systems, I can’t imagine the ride without them. We rode over 100 miles through the country around Midland and hit a bunch of turns. I got to practice things I don’t necessarily enjoy, like stoplights, a LOT which was great. I still need to work on speeding up my starts especially turning starts. Getting home from the ride was a great feeling, it’s such a high – the post ride bliss. We got to head to the beach right after for a long weekend, which was much needed. We came home from the beach and chris surprised me with a longboard, which I had been talking a lot about wanting lately. Words just aren’t enough to describe how grateful I am to call him mine.

May 26th 2020 – 2nd Group Ride It’s been raining for the past two weeks, pretty much ever since we picked Chris’s bike up from the shop. Side note – Chris and I are doing a watermelon cleanse from Tuesday through Friday, and we were at the end of day 1 at this point. I didn’t realize how much of a toll the fast had taken on me until I started riding, I was overthinking every move I made and just felt unstable overall. Everything just felt harder, and it was such a reminder of how much your mental state affects your riding. Overall the ride was great and I’m so glad we got out and rode though, the country roads were beautiful and the temperature was just perfect at around 70. I guess I need to focus on the positives here – that the ride was beautiful, we didn’t get caught in the rain and I got to experience new roads. And of course got some great pics. I’ve officially become that girl who takes pictures in the parking lot for Instagram, but I really don’t care because it’s been fun building my social media presence.

May 31st 2020 – 300 milestone Well, I finally did it – I hit 300 miles on the bike, the halfway mark to my first 600 mile service, lol. Last night’s ride was absolutely perfect, I couldn’t have asked for better weather (mid 70’s, not humid at all) and feeling the crisp air as I was passing my previous top speed at 60+ mph was an unmatchable feeling. Every time I have a ride like this, I always think to myself, “This is what it’s all about.” My headspace was at a great spot and I felt confident and smooth throughout the ride. My starts were quicker and more fluent, my turns were smooth and I had less anxiety and anxious thoughts about shifting gears and going through the motions of riding in general. It’s crazy what a few days of healthy food and relaxing will do to your mind – this ride compared to the last entry was like night and day. We took the bikes to Mac’s Speed Shop for dinner – I was excited to ride my own bike there. Once we pulled up and Chris quickly whipped around to back his bike into his spot, I was reminded of my severe performance anxiety yet again, lol. I really need to get over the thought of people watching me and get over myself, people are going to watch what’s right in front of them, and a girl on a bike is sort of a rare occurrence. I feel like when people watch me, specifically men, they are just waiting for me to mess up because how could a girl like me be on her own bike? In reality, I’m sure they are barely even thinking about me at all, LOL. That brings me to something I really need to work on in general. I get really anxious when people watch me and I really need to make a conscious effort to work on getting over that. People are not worried about me – I know this – but rational thoughts get tossed out the window when I’m placed in front of a crowd. This trait of mine exists in every avenue of life – whether it is work, play, whatever; and I need to take time to grow out of this. I think it will help me have less social anxiety and will probably help my confidence which will have residual effects like an improved posture and overall sense of stability. I just wonder if this is a habit that can just naturally be broken with practice/repetition or is this something that requires more attention and effort to fix. Wow – such a rabbit hole, lol, but I doubt anyone will even read this. Back to the ride – I have absolutely loved the feeling of making it home from a successful ride, or “post – ride bliss.” Chilling on the couch with my honey after a perfect ride (for both of us) is my ideal Sunday evening. Chris’s longboard finally came in so we were able to skate over and get ice cream before we called it a night. I just love our life together and think that we truly have the perfect relationship that is a mixture of best friends and lovers that just keeps getting stronger and better with time. I am so happy. With our economy tanking due to a virus in our country that’s being burnt down all around us, he is my peace. To work on –faster upshifting –downshift through EACH gear when approaching a stop (stop banging down all the gears without releasing the clutch in between) –get over performance anxiety –work on maneuvering the bike when off (in and out of parking spots, getting gas, backing out of garage, etc) –ride the bike into the garage myself! I’m so blessed to have Chris to help, teach and support me on this journey. He reminds me I don’t need to be able to do everything immediately but still pushes me to learn and become a better biker when he knows I’m capable of doing something.

June 11 – Making Progress Two big milestones this week. The first is installing my mini floorboards, the second being my skills improving on the bike. Last night Chris and I rode to Gamestop to pick up a Tony Hawk game, and I was nervous for the ride beforehand given the newness of my floorboards along with the general nerves I get before a ride. The ride ended up being AWESOME. I made sure to pay attention and downshift completely through each gear when coming to a stop, and I was able to do it successfully most of the time, lol. Also had way faster starts, and beat Chris out of the stop lights a few times. The feeling of just riding with no traffic or light in sight is unmatchable, especially in 5th gear when it feels like nothing can hold Jolene back. During these stretches of the ride, my thoughts are always revolving around THIS being what it’s all about, THIS is riding, and this is freedom. It’s an unmatchable feeling. I also felt good when we pulled into eastfield for dinner because I was able to smoothly maneuver around the parking lot that was semi-full without issue. Also I didn’t need help when leaving the parking spot outside of gamestop. taking rides after work used to be kind of a fear of mine, and I was usually reluctant to take them in fear that I would be too braindead after a full workday. The ride last night, however, proved this fear wrong. I think no matter the time of day, day of the week, temperature, WHATEVER it may be, it’s all about your headspace and that is the greatest determinant for the outcome of the ride. I’m glad that I’m starting to feel less and less anxiety prepping for and starting out on each ride, the stomach aches and general feelings of fear are melting away with every mile in the seat. Soon I’ll be scheduling my 600 mile service To work on be more gentle when downshifting, especially to first. Stop stomping on the poor shifter ride the bike into the garage myself keep improving engine breaking/downshifting completely through each gear to 2nd or 1st

June 13 – Passing 500 on my first real trip So many milestones (literally) passed this weekend! 1 – passed the 500 mile mark & 2 – first 100+ mile trip! Minus one close-call, the whole trip/day was amazing with my love. We first headed out to Asheboro Harley Davidson dealership, stopping at a couple gas stations along the way. I passed my previous top speed and managed to hit 65+ mph, and I don’t know if that was Jolene’s limit or if it was user-error. Aside from the wind feeling like it was going to blow me off of the bike, it felt exhilarating to ride fast on the open highway. After we left the second gas station, I was following Chris (a little too closely) and the left turn we were supposed to take snuck up on us so I locked up my brakes and skidded (loudly) down the street, fishtailing straight down the street, missing the turn. Mid-way through the skid, the only thought running through my head was “fuck, we’re going down.” Somehow either my reflexes or my guardian angel, or a combination of the two, were looking out for me and Jolene stayed upright. Somehow I knew to kind of let go of the breaks and handlebars and let the bike do its thing, and sure enough I was able to straighten out and stay upright. It was a sobering experience for sure, and it took a little while to gain my confidence back for the rest of the ride. Chris is a patient angel though. We made it to the Asheboro Harley dealership to pick up our poker chips and chill for a little bit, and we were surprised to see it was crowded. It’s such a nice dealership though, they had a food truck serving Greek food, free beer on tap and the MSF course happening in the parking lot that we could watch while eating our lunch. Chris and I talked about how we always feel like outcasts from the “Harley crowd” but the people we talked to were nice. It started getting late so we headed out to the next stop, the Moonset general store near Uwharrie and Badin Lake. The rest of the ride was uneventful, and Chris and quickly became exhausted lol. I kept wondering to myself if I would always feel this tired from riding. It’s just such a mental thing that takes your full attention and effort at all times, and being hyper-aware of your surroundings at all times. There’s also the physical side of riding that involves every extremity in unison just to work the bike controls. I think that’s what makes coming home from a trip feel so rewarding. Once we made it home, we got burgers at Eastfield and called it a night after we both fell asleep on the couch lol. We took a short ride to pinky’s after detailing the bikes on Sunday and that was also a great ride. Short and sweet.

June 23 – Ready for 1st Service The more experience and riding I’ve gotten, the less I feel the need to write and blog which is a good thing more time spent actually riding. Passed the 600 mile mark and trying to schedule my service appointment this week after I install my new Vance and Hines pipes on Wednesday, so pumped for the new sound and look. I’m feeling so much more comfortable now riding, still have a few things I want to work on but when I think about the first few times I took Jolene out and compare that to how I feel riding now, it’s almost like I’m a whole new person. The things that used to scare me to death are things I can do without thinking twice now. I’m learning that the faster I go, the more comfortable I feel, and that the fears I used to have are pretty irrational. Over the weekend Chris, his mom and I went on a ride through the country before it got too hot outside. It made me happy to see how happy Chris’s mom was after the ride. We talked about how great of a teacher he is and how supportive he is every step of the way. The next day, Chris, his brother and I went on a ride to Statesville Harley and got lunch at Grouchos (Chris chose for me because I always talk about how ive always wanted to eat there, hehe). It was a great ride, minus almost running over a snake haha. One other biker that was at Grouchos joined in with us for part of the ride home, then another biker on the road joined in too. It was cool to hold up the middle, lol. Chris said I did a good job. The sense of community in the biker world is something amazing and it makes me so excited for the future, and how many cool people I will meet along the way.