#i would honestly love to have a series of short office meetings for the two of you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

annasinterests · 1 year ago

Text

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

smiling, having fun ♫ feeling like a number one

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a/n: god dayum this took me so long to put out and i sincerely apologize friends!!! my family's been in town and i've been planning trips with my bf for the next couple of weeks so i've just been sooo busy. to make up for it, enjoy the longest chapter i've written yet :)) i legit had so much fun writing it but i also fussed w/ it a ton because i wanted to get it just how i envisioned it. nuff' ramblin' from me, love y'all, enjoy !

word count: 9.8k (i had over 10k written b4 editing but still omfg!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, cursing, joel/reader/tommy being cute, tommy being an instigator lowkey, mutual pining, joel and reader going on a lil 'date', sexual themes, mentions of alcohol/being drunk, honestly kinda self-indulgent esp on the music parts, angst RAAAAAAAAH — please tell me if i missed anything!

Friday. Thank God.

As the morning light painted the sky in soft hues, you opted to savor your coffee on the front porch with your feet kicked up on the deck railing, basking in the quiet before the day's festivities consumed the town.

The early hour granted you respite from the scorching sun, sparing you the discomfort of the sweltering heat that would undoubtedly arrive later. Dressed in a small tank top and shorts, you relished the cool breeze that gently brushed against your skin. Tilting your head back, you closed your eyes, allowing the sounds of chirping birds to serenade you and the warm rays envelop you in a soothing embrace.

You thought back to last night with Ellie, how much fun you had with her even though you passed out before the movie was even over. It was the perfect start to your two days of rest, and it prompted you to commit a rare act of self-care by pushing off your new workload until the new week started.

You always did something on your days off for Jackson, whether it was doing a few favors for neighbors or finding yourself in Maria’s office all day. Nothing ever to give yourself the time you deserved.

And maybe it was selfish– irresponsible, even– but you needed a real break, and when would you get that if not today? Tonight promised laughter, music, and camaraderie. All your problems and issues would still be there tomorrow anyway.

"Put some clothes on, would you?" You jerked your head forward to meet Tommy walking up with a grin on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"I'll put on more clothes when you shave off that disaster you call a mustache."

He put his hand over his chest that shook with laughter and took the vacant seat next to you. When you offered him coffee, he politely declined, chuckling when you insisted that you could add whiskey to it for him. "I actually came to ask a favor."

He watched as you peered down at the imaginary watch on your wrist before giving him a skeptical look. “Tommy, if you’re asking me to work, the answer is-”

“No! God, no.” You let out a thank fuck under your breath. “It’s for tonight.”

You raised your eyebrows as you drew a sip from your coffee. For tonight? He took your silence as a cue to continue.

"Joel tells me that you've got quite the music collection. I was wonderin' if I could borrow a couple of your tapes or CDs or whatever y'got?"

You thought about it for half a second, but pretended to be in deep contemplation. He grew antsy, attempting to seriously reason with you, and when you couldn't hold it together any longer, you hid your grin behind your mug as you watched him realize that you were fucking with him. You got up from your seat and signaled for him to follow you inside as you grabbed cassettes for his cause.

Joel had been in the kitchen pouring himself a cup from the pot you had already brewed. You peered around the corner to set your mug on the counter, flashing him a bright smile before quickly scurrying off, catching a glimpse of how his face dropped from a smile to confusion upon hearing more footsteps in the house. You giggled once you heard his groan, followed by 'Jesus, don't you know what time it is?'

You picked through your pile, grabbing tapes that you were certain would be winners. Once content with your selection, you brought them back to Tommy in the kitchen. His eyes and smile widened at the handful, carefully taking them into his possession. Joel, still clearly waking up, watched the interaction with a dull curiosity over the rim of his mug, flickering his gaze from you, to the cassettes, and lastly Tommy.

Your eyes lingered on the tapes, a small smile brought to your face at the pure nostalgia they held. You knew each track on each tape, word for word. You remembered when you heard them for the first time, what life had felt like, and when you found yourself listening to them the most. Normally, you'd feel hesitant to lend out your most prized possessions. They’d been with you ever since before outbreak day, and the one constant you had since the beginning that got you through your toughest times. But this was Tommy, and you didn’t have to think twice about whether or not you could trust him.

"Wait, I almost forgot!" You snapped out of your thinking to go and retrieve another part from your pile. You handed him a small deck of index cards binded together with twine in what was your own way of personally cataloging. "It's already in order, by cassette and song title, so you can figure out if there's something you don't wanna play.. or whatever you got planned." You lazily gestured.

The brothers exchanged a look before turning their attention to the cards. Joel set his coffee down and took the thin stack from Tommy, reading over it together as they glanced back and forth between the cardstock and the tapes. The corner of his mouth curled up as he skimmed over the songs, making it impossible for you not to smile either. You sheepishly looked down while rolling your feet from heel to toe with your hands behind your back, feeling like a kid showing their parents a piece of art they made at school.

"Had the world not gone to shit, you could’ve been a mean music curator.” Joel waved the cards between his thumb and forefinger, a suppressed laugh leaving your lips.

“Yeah.. damn, these bring back some good memories. Buncha’ old ones on here, some even way before our time.” Tommy motioned between himself and Joel.

The small smile on Joel’s face grew bigger, his face becoming more lively at a realization. “Y’know, ‘lotta these were popular bar songs. You were just shy of eighteen back then, weren’t you?”

Tommy quickly caught on to Joel’s train of thought, matching his grin. You stared at him with a subtle smirk, knowing that he knew he was right, and only asked to make it a point that he knew that. And in a way, you found it kind of.. hot? He was keenly aware of your timeline and able to make the connections that no one else really could. He didn’t have to do the mental math like Tommy probably was after he said it. You felt a surge of heat in your cheeks and on the tip of your ears as their gaze on you persisted, waiting for you to answer.

“.. I may or may not have snuck into them..”

Their voices overlapped with elation, to which you stuck up a middle finger for each Miller.

“Sounds like you were living on the edge,” Tommy peered down at Joel’s hand, “..of seventeen.”

Before you could open your mouth to scold Tommy for popping the corniest joke in all of the apocalypse, he and Joel fell into their own fit of laughter, bumping shoulders and elbowing one another. So proud and smug of their joint-effort to expose your rebellious years. But you found yourself grinning, not at the joke, but at them.

You shook your head, letting out a mix of a laugh and sigh, “Alright, you boys had your fun. Now Joel, why don’t you do your big brother duties and show Tommy the way out?”

He raised a brow at you, bringing his mug to his lips, “Must I remind you that it was you that brought him in here, not me?”

Tommy raised his hands up in defense as you glared at Joel, “Alright- I’ll see myself out.” He winked at you as he walked past, “Give you a break before ya’ gotta deal with me tonight.”

You and Joel walked him to the door, exchanging goodbyes until later this evening. Just before stepping out, Tommy suddenly turned over his shoulder to you. "Oh! Before I forget– Are you seein’ anybody?”

You froze at his question, your smile slacked and your eyes widened. The residual feeling of laughter in your chest subsided quickly as if it never existed in the first place. He held up his left hand, “Not for me, obviously.”

You rolled your eyes, then narrowing them at him. “Yeah, no shit. What, are you playing matchmaker for me?”

“Not for you, someone else.” A shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “So, are you?”

The short answer was no. You were too busy with leading your life in Jackson.. And being hopelessly in love with his brother.

“Uh– no. I’m not.”

Joel's gaze shifted towards you, your words evoking enough of a reaction out of him, to which Tommy caught and raised an eyebrow with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. They bounced between you and Joel as if he had caught a whiff of the unspoken agreement you two held. You felt your cheeks go hot again, knowing that your words hadn't gone unnoticed by either of them.

He bid a final farewell with an unconvincing nod that left you both standing in the foyer quietly, which was luckily cut short by Ellie coming through the back door, giving you both the perfect excuse to forget all about.. whatever that was.

She rubbed away the sleep in her eyes, murmuring a good morning to you and Joel as she made her way into the kitchen, both of you treading in after her. You inquired about the basics. How'd you sleep? Want me to make you something for breakfast? Do you want orange juice? What are your plans for the day? Joel watched as you engaged in conversation, admiration and warmth flaring in his chest as you seamlessly transitioned into your role as a caretaker.

You were receptive when she shared her plans for the day, further inquiring about smaller details of her schedule. He watched as Ellie became more animated the more she got to talk about her day ahead, especially as you encouraged her.

"What about you guys? Don't you both have off today?" Ellie faced in her chair so that she could clearly see you both.

You exchanged a glance with Joel before you both shrugged your shoulders. You hadn't realized that he had the day off as well, if you were being completely honest. As you thought about it, it occured to you that you hadn't gotten to figure that part out, since Tommy and all. When you confessed that you hadn’t planned anything for the day, Ellie’s eyes squinted in deep thought for a moment, then looked back at you both, “Why don’t you guys do something together?

You straightened up at her proposal, mildly thrown off, sharing another look with Joel before you both attempted to give a series of excuses, which just came out in a mess of jumbled, almost incoherent words.

“Oh, come on! You guys almost never do anything together.”

You folded your arms in defiance, but it came off more as a pout. “Yes, we do.”

“Sitting at home together doesn’t count.” You opened your mouth to disagree, but nothing came out. “Go out! Have a date or something.”

You nearly choked on your coffee as Joel sighed, speaking with caution, “Ellie–”

“Anyways! I’m off to Dina’s for the day.” She beamed and laughed in victory as she watched you two writhe in place. You could hear the smile in her voice as she left out the back door, “You kids have fun tonight, and make good decisions!”

God– first Tommy, now her. It couldn’t have been past nine yet.

You hand cradled your elbow, the other hand covering your eyes as your thumb and middle finger kneaded at your temples. Okay, maybe she was right. Maybe you and Joel didn’t spend proper ‘quality time’ together, but it just wasn’t something that either one of you were accustomed to. Before Jackson, the most you were able to be alone outside of your apartments were during smuggle runs, which was definitely not the type of recreational activity that she was referring to, and once you picked her up and finally settled here, your lives were centered around her and your respective jobs for the community.

Joel crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway that bordered the dining room, staring at the back door and then subsequently at you. You hadn’t noticed him looking, still hiding behind your hand to mask your embarrassment, and saw how his eyes raked over your figure, taking in how little clothes you were wearing. The black tank top was a deep cut halter that exposed your arms, chest, and just the littlest bit of midriff. Your shorts matched in color, the fabric just hovering over the higher part of your thighs with slits up the sides.

It was a good thing for him that you had your eyes covered. You weren’t able to see how his tongue poked over his bottom lip and his eyes that were drawn to your cleavage that was accentuated by your arms drawn together. Even with your fair share of scars, your skin looked so perfect and soft under the glow of sunlight through the window, so much that he could barely keep himself back from touching you, wanting to trace the contours of your arms with his fingers and hold your face in his palms again.

His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered what it would feel like to rub your legs against his under bed sheets. How it would feel to press his fingertips into the soft flesh of your hips–

“Joel?”

His head jerked up slightly as his eyes darted to yours. “What?”

Irked, you threw your hand away from your face in an exasperated manner, “Do you wanna come?

He stared dumbly at you, stuttering, “Do I- w-what?”

“To Lake Falwich! Weren’t you listening?” You threw him an incredulous look as he shook his head to himself, apparent to you that he in fact hadn’t listened to a damn word you said.

Lake Falwich was located off of Elk Creek, an area you and Joel switched off on patrolling. You’d found the place when you went off-path during your first summer patrol, deeming it as another little hidden gem of Jackson County. Over the years, you grew fond of it and made it a point to frequent it whenever beyond the walls, but you hadn’t been yet this season.

“Uh, yeah– Yes– Sure.”

You didn’t know what had gotten into him in the last few minutes, but you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed seeing him all flustered and not being able to keep eye contact with you. How the tables turned for once.

“I’ll be ready to head out in ten.” You began to head towards the stairs for your room, but stopped at his side and placed your hand on his shoulder, curling your fingers over the muscle, “Don’t keep me waiting.”

A grin adorned your face as you walked away, leaving Joel to hang onto the sensation that burned his skin where you touched him and force himself to calm down from the excitement growing in his pants. He hadn’t really known what he’d just gotten himself into with you, and you were pleasantly surprised at his answer as you half-expected him to come up with some reason to not go.

But one thing was clear to you both: It was definitely not a date.

Your hands draped near the straps of his pack by his hips as you rode out, brushing against his belt and jeans every so often. It wasn’t a difficult route by any means; fairly smooth and clear of any obstructions.

Being the passenger gave you the opportunity to be immersed by your surroundings rather than having to focus in front of you. You got to pay attention to the small things, like the rhythmic beat of the horse’s hooves against the ground and the scent of pine mingled with the earthy aroma of the forest. The trees towered above you, their branches forming a natural canopy that filtered the sunlight, casting dappled shadows on the trail. Every so often, the trees would give way to open meadows, where wildflowers swayed in the gentle breeze.

When you weren’t being captivated by nature, your attention was drawn back to Joel. The heat had caused his hair to curl at the nape of his neck that was slicked with sweat, seeping into the collar of his dark gray shirt that stretched across his shoulders and back with more splotches of sweat. Now and then, you’d get a glimpse of his profile when he scouted around. You felt like a teenager getting to hang out with her crush that she’d had since elementary school, your stomach doing flips just from the proximity alone.

The ride itself was filled with comfortable silence, punctuated by moments of look there and did you see that? with every passing mile. You could get used to this– having these little outings together.

You could hear the rushing water before you could see it, the sound of it growing louder and louder until it finally came into view. When the landscape presented itself before you, you felt a child-like thrill growing in your chest. The clear water shimmered with a vivid turquoise hue that seemed almost unreal, partnered with tall limestone walls that framed the lake. Smaller stone structures and boulders formed near the base of the waterfall, enticing you to explore and conquer their heights again like you’d done in the past. The vegetation extended all around the area, mosses and ferns clung to the rock walls in a tapestry of greenery. It all gave you a sense of simultaneous exhilaration and peace.

Eager to get to the water, you dismounted from the horse before Joel could hitch it, causing him to call out after you in protest and watch you with a careful eye as he got everything situated. You stood at the mouth of the lake with your boots kicked off when he joined you, slowly following suit.

“So.. What do you wanna do now?”

With the heat, there was only one thing to do.

“Jump in.” You pointed to a ledge that was a considerable height up. “From there.”

He met where your finger signaled, then back to you with a quizzical look. “Don’t you reckon that’s a bit high?”

You shrugged your shoulders and threw a smile over your shoulder as you walked away from him, earning a scoff and one of his typical disapproving head shakes. His eyes stayed on you as you made your way, widening when you started to peel off your clothes piece by piece.

First off was your tank top, slipping it effortlessly over your head, then the undoing of your belt and shimmying out of your jeans. You’d stripped down to only a sports bra and underwear, both of which happened to match, which was very much unplanned. Through each removal of clothing, Joel couldn’t help but have his eyes glued to you. He became restless, running his hands through his hair and turning around just to face back to you because he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off you. And when you looked back at him, you felt a little boost of confidence in seeing how he kept his attention on you.

You ascended the rocks, reaching your desired spot and standing proudly, waving your arms above your head at a miffed Joel. The air was filled with a refreshing mist, carrying the fragrance of damp earth and the invigorating energy of the cascading waterfall. The lake below you offered a new perspective on how high you really were, and for a second, you considered that Joel was maybe right.

But fuck it.

Your legs propelled you forward, curling up as you plummeted, and your shouts of joy drowned out by the thunderous roar of the falls. The water engulfed you, prickling your body with its cold touch. Submerged beneath the surface, you held onto the sensation of being weightless, listening to nothing but the ebb and flow of the currents and feeling them weave through your fingertips.

You emerged from the depths to the sun’s warmth on your face. When you refocused your vision, you saw that Joel was standing in the same spot as before, now with his arms crossed against his chest. You swam closer to the shoreline.

“Come on, water’s fine!” He shook his head. “It wasn’t a question, now get your ass in here, Miller!”

He rolled his eyes and huffed, shaking his head once more before pulling off his shirt by the collar and tossing it aside with his boots and pack, and despite being in the freezing water, you flooded with heat at the sight of him. You’d only seen him in small increments when tending his wounds, but now you could finally know what he looked like underneath those damned clothes.

Just as you suspected, his shoulders were strong with muscle, and the prominent veins in his hands and forearms traveled upwards through his biceps. His chest and abdomen were toned and had an even layer of hair, and you basically drooled at the definition of his hips and the trail of hair leading down that was secured by a belt. Beyond his attractive features, though, you saw his scars of survival. His torso littered with healed lesions, many of which you cared for, and a significant mark near his side that reflected the time of his near-death.

“Don’t splash me now, alright?” He stifled a laugh as he undid his belt, which took all your self-control to not watch his hands and think ungodly things. Once he stripped down to his boxer briefs, he stepped further into the lake, wincing at the coldness as he got deeper. When the water reached his thighs, he sucked in a sharp breath and hissed, “Shit- That’s cold.”

You were too busy gaping at how muscles tensed and contorted to make a stupid remark. He delved deeper into the lake until he fully submerged himself, surfacing quickly and shaking out his hair, which was doing things for you. In all the years you spent with him, you didn’t think that he could possibly get more attractive, nor did you think that you’d ever be like this right now, yet here you were.

In what was supposed to be a little fun getaway from all the stresses of the world, you found yourself seriously lusting for him in this moment, which was a stress all on its own. You were alone in a very much secluded area, only an article of clothing or two away from being naked, moreover. The very thought sent you over the edge, making you physically ache where you wanted him the most. How easy it’d be to just close the distance and get lost in him for hours.

The fact that you couldn’t do that, though, pained you viscerally. You couldn’t keep looking at him, or else you’d do something stupid, so you closed your eyes and spread your limbs out to drift on your back. You focused on your breathing, honing in on how your body bobbed with each inhale and exhale and letting the water guide you in any direction.

The next few hours were spent floating, challenging Joel to swimming races, and jumping off the rocks to see who could make the bigger splashes. You found yourselves in lots of banter and bickering, especially when you did a flip off of a ledge and Joel was very displeased that you could’ve hit your head. All you could feel was pure, unadulterated happiness. Together, you were having fun. Real fun. Enjoying each other’s company and nature’s playground.

A while after you returned to drifting on your backside, an unfamiliar sensation across your back and thighs caused you to flail and frantically look around. Sheer panic rose as you realized that you’d drifted off into the deeper end, and you tried to calmly but quickly thrust yourself back into shallow waters.

“Somethin’ got you scared?” Joel had been awfully calm with an arrogant grin on his face, and his laughter rung out clear in the air as he watched you go through the motions of panic, confusion, and finally disdain.

You feigned indignation. “Don’t be a dick.”

Once your feet touched the solid floor, you waded and found a spot to sit in the safety of the shallows, pulling your knees up and resting your arms on them. As Joel drew in to join you, you watched as the water lapped at his waist, drawing your attention to the band of his boxer briefs that seemed to hang dangerously low on his hips and how they clung to him in a way that’d have all the women in Jackson ready on their knees for him. His body swayed with a subtle rhythm and cadence that was uniquely his; full of purpose and so.. virile. You averted your gaze to the sediment of where you sat in an attempt to rid yourself of the thoughts you were having.

The clearness allowed you to examine its composition of pebbles and rocks of all kinds, and you picked up handfuls of them to admire their different qualities, quickly getting wrapped up in recognizing unique patterns and markings. Joel watched as you threw the ones you didn’t like further into the lake, like it was a process of elimination until you found the best one.

When you liked one, you wordlessly handed it to him without taking your attention away from the ones in front of you. There was a serene grace in your actions, as if you were entrusting him with something fragile and precious, and he took notice of the care in which you handled each stone. He’d give it a once over, his fingers gliding over the surface, before dropping it back into your hand. There was something about you doing this, yielding to human nature’s innocent curiosity, that made it so much more than just a seemingly mundane exchange to him.

Your eyes met his briefly, and you saw he was truly relaxed from how the hard lines of his face were softened. The sun shone on him in where you could really see the depths of his eyes; the green-gold that seeped into a lighter brown around his pupil, creating the most beautiful iris structure you’d ever seen. His skin held a perpetual tan with freckles all over his shoulders, a feature that you weren’t necessarily familiar with. Waves and curls formed near his ears and forehead as his hair dried, most of it disheveled and left you wanting to run your fingers through to tame it. Your eyes drifted to his body for a moment, overly cognizant of how much bigger he was compared to you. With a tinge of a smile, you turned back to your little stones, gently placing them back in the water in a decision to leave them where they belonged.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed this,” Joel’s voice filled the silence, “we should get goin’ soon. Promised Tommy I’d swing by to help set up a couple things.”

You hummed in acknowledgment. If there was one thing about Joel, it was that he always showed up for Tommy, no matter how big or small it was. Even if it was a five-minute task or a project that Tommy was entirely capable of doing on his own, Joel was always there. You had that in common with him, back when you had your brother.

As you were about to stand, Joel hovered over you with an extended hand. You clasped it with your own as you gained your balance, but when doing so, your eyes caught a glimpse of something slithering right under your feet. You yelped at the sight, tightening your grip around his hand, and he instinctively pulled you to him, wrapping a protective arm around your waist while acting as a shield between you and the potential danger. He scanned the water, catching on to what you saw: a plains garter snake.

At the sound of his chuckle, you braced yourself against his chest in confusion as his arms were still around you. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not-” he loosened his hold, but his hands still splayed over your waist. “It’s harmless, nothin’ to worry about.”

“Oh.” You bowed your head forward in relief and slight embarrassment, and a faint smile played at his lips. Your hands were still on each other, almost as if you were trying to play it out as long as possible until either you pulled away or he did, which winded up being the former. You drew back to yourself, stepping backwards as he released you. “Thanks.”

You both retrieved your belongings and set up on a flat bed of rock to dry out, another comfortable silence enveloping you once again as you bathed in the warmth. With your arm slung over your eyes, you could only sense Joel’s presence beside you. You slid your arm up to peer at him, his eyes fixed on the lake. His legs were drawn towards his chest with his forearms on his knees, his chest rising and falling in calm breaths. There was a peacefulness in his expression, a sense of contentment that mirrored your own. You smiled before covering up again, but he caught you at the last second.

“What’re you thinkin’ about over there?”

You brushed off his question. “Who says I’m thinking?”

“If there’s one thing about you, it’s that you’re never not thinkin’.” You sat up at the accusatory words, arching your eyebrows in disbelief. “Go on now, don’t keep me in suspense.”

“I..” a grin spread on your face, “..was thinking about how much fun your shift must’ve been with Fitz yesterday.”

You giggled as he let out a groan, successfully diverting away from where the conversation was leading. “Oh, it was a fuckin’ shift alright– and I don’t wanna talk too much about work, but he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, eyeing him, “Joel, what did you-”

“I took care of it.” He left no room for you to speak, his voice stern. He softened a moment after once he realized how it came out a little too sharp. He lowered his attention down to his hands, rubbing his thumb into his palm, “..Not s’pose to treat a woman the way he does, especially when it’s you.”

A moment came and went in where it looked like he regretted his words, fearing that he may have revealed too much, or maybe not enough. But what you felt was incomparable to anything you’d ever felt before, hearing him tell you– blatantly admit to you that he regarded you differently than other people, and that if someone crossed you, they were crossing him too. You always knew he had your six, but this was different than that.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was doin’ that? Or Tommy?”

Those dumb, beautiful eyes conveyed a genuine concern that immediately made you feel guilty for not saying something sooner when you very well could’ve. At the same time, you didn’t want to fuss or make a big deal out of it. It was better that it was you than someone else, like Joel. So you tolerated it, because you were still able to do your job even with an annoying fucking twat as your partner.

“I never took him seriously. I thought he’d just stop if I ignored it enough, but.. clearly not.” You gave a half-suppressed laugh, knowing how ridiculous and naive it sounded out loud. He sighed at your answer, making you fidget, “I know! I know. You’re right– it was stupid of me-”

“Sweetheart–” his hand on your leg and delicious southern drawl shut you right up, “nothin’ stupid about you tryin’ to keep the peace. Just.. let me know next time, okay?”

All you could do was nod, dumbfounded by this new, open protectiveness towards you. He knew better than anyone else how you could handle yourself, but he still couldn’t help but feel that it was his job to keep you safe and be your advocate when you weren’t your own.

Without another word, he rose and offered you a hand up, indicating that enough time had passed and you should get going if you were going to be on time for the party. You accepted the gesture again, but he held your hand longer this time as he guided you down the rocks so that you wouldn’t trip, a chivalrous act that also gave an excuse to linger on your skin.

A hot shower was what you needed to scrub the freshwater off your skin and out of your hair, also to give you some much needed relief from having to control yourself the whole time you were with him, but of course you did that after he left since you shared his bathroom.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over Jackson. The vibrant energy of the evening pulsed through the town, the streets alive with people as they made their way to the most popular establishment, laughter and music floating through the air. You’d gone through about four outfits before ultimately deciding on a ribbed henley tank, jeans, and sneakers

Just before running out the door, you checked yourself in the mirror to smooth any stray hairs away from your face. With a smile, you stepped out, falling in with your neighbors who’d been on their way over as well, engaging in conversation on the short walk there. There’d been a crowd gathered outside the Tipsy Bison, people mingling and sharing stories, some already on their second round of drinks.

Through the doors you were immediately greeted by a wave of warmth and liveliness. Your eyes danced around the bar, jumping from full booths and high tables, to the large alcohol selection behind the counter guarded by about three barkeeps if you were counting right. The air was filled with a thousand different scents, ranging from beer and cigarettes to perfume and aftershave. And lastly, the sounds which brought it all together, the clinking of glasses and hum of conversation, and of course, music. Your music that people were enjoying.

Searching the crowd, you spotted familiar faces and friends scattered throughout the place, engrossed in their own circles, but the one person you actively sought out was nowhere in sight. Your efforts slowed as you heard a picking of chords grow louder over the speakers, causing a wild smile to grow on your face.

♫

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone Turned on some music to start my day I lost myself in a familiar song

♫

“I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaay!” Tommy appeared at your side two shots in one hand and unopened beers between his fingers in the other, slinging the arm around your shoulder as he pushed the small glass into your hands.

Without hesitation, you threw the shot back with him, feeling the instant burn go down your throat. You both popped off the beer caps off a nearby counter, a party trick you’d gotten quite good at over the years, before rushing over to the middle of the floor to join the rest of the party and sing your hearts out to your first song of the night. You could barely hear yourself over the speakers and fellow singers, saving you from the embarrassment from being incredibly off-key. Your body reacted instantly to the music, finding the rhythm and constantly moving in accordance. That was the other thing about music, you felt most comfortable in your skin when you listened and danced to it, being able to fall in with whatever played. In between the verses, you hurried over to the bar to grab more shots and beers, slamming doubles back before pulling each other back to the floor.

You and Tommy locked arms and pressed back to back while holding up your bottles in a toast-fashion, switching off during the last chorus and refrain and holding out the longer notes.

♫

It’s more than a feeling (More than a feeling!)

When I hear that old song they used to play (More than a feeling!)

I begin dreaming (More than a feeling!) ...

♫

The alcohol was slowly but surely taking over, a key indicator being the warm, fuzzy buzzing that flourished throughout your body. You clung to Tommy’s shoulder and leaned towards his ear during a break between songs, “Tommy, this is way better than I thought it was gonna be!”

He looked at you with wide eyes and a grin, “I know right! Joel really helped pull it together before we opened the doors!”

You smiled at the compliment towards his brother, then furrowing your brows. “Where is he, anyway?”

You both looked around for a moment before Tommy steered you off to the side, yelling that it was too hard to see from the middle, and your efforts were put on pause again as you winded up near a large group of patrolmen that grabbed Tommy’s attention. He dragged you with him to socialize, though you mainly watched from the outskirts of the circle, smiling and nodding along where the conversations went as you didn’t have much to say or add.

When you went to drink from your bottle, you noticed the lightness of it and realized that you needed another, giving you the perfect excuse to slip away and look for him. You checked over your shoulders as you squeezed your way through to the bar to request your next drink, and it didn’t help that the room was dimly lit and was accompanied by flashing strobes.

The barkeep slid you a bottle across the counter and you swiftly popped it off, taking a swig before turning around right into somebody. An apology flew out of your mouth before you could even see who it was, their voice catching your attention and making you look at them.

“Hey, no worries! Both still got our drinks, yeah?”

Samson flashed you a grin, his hand light on your arm but enough to keep you steady. You raised your beer to him, his eyes flickered between it and you before raising his own and tapping the neck of your bottles together. You both took another swig.

As you got into conversation, you moved away from the bar towards the wall where there wasn’t much action going on. You talked about how nice the place had been transformed for the night and shared your favorite drinks, occasionally dropping a drunk-story from your youths. And the weird part? You found yourself genuinely enjoying his presence. With the way he kept eye-contact with you and made you feel like he was actually listening and comprehending the words falling out of your mouth, laughing and giving you verbal cues that he was following along, it made you see him in a way you hadn’t before.

You were.. enchanted. If it had been any other man, they’d dominate the conversation, going on about themselves the whole time and forcing you to listen. But with Samson, he treated you like an equal. He never cut you off or interjected to relate, waiting until you were entirely done or if you allowed him to weigh in between your thoughts.

“By the way–” he wiped his mouth of any residual beer, “I don’t want this to come off as weird, but you look incredible tonight. I don't think I’ve ever seen you dress in anything other than like, work clothes– and not that you look bad in that!” You giggled as he tripped over his words, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade. “What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re very beautiful, and I don’t want you to think I’m like Fitz.”

Your fingers brushed against his arm, furrowing your eyebrows at him for thinking such things, “Awh, Samson! You’re nothing like him, I hope you know that.”

He smiled down at his feet before back at you, “I know the other day you said that you and Joel weren’t a thing, and Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody– so I guess I’m just triple checking here– is there someone in the picture?”

So this was who Tommy was playing matchmaker for.

Your heart slowed and you fought to keep the innocent smile on your face. Was he approaching you at the bar when you bumped into him? Was he pretending to act like that just to segue into this? Several things ran through your mind as your eyes drifted away from his, and just when he was about to call you back to attention, the devil himself appeared: Tommy.

He swooped in around Samson’s shoulders, nursing a beer in hand. He held a smugness in his demeanor, surely you thought it was about the scene he’d set up until he spoke.

“Looks like you may have a roommate for the night.”

He jerked his hand behind him to a woman leaning against a pillar with Joel standing mere inches in front of her. He stood still with his hands to himself, but dropped his head closer to hers with a clear smile on his face. She beamed up at him with a look you knew all too well, not even attempting to conceal her attraction to him. She laughed too much for your liking while gripping his bicep, probably sneaking in some flirty comment with a double-meaning. Good fucking God.

You thought maybe you had a breakthrough at the lake, but this proved that you clearly didn’t, and you couldn’t believe you were stupid enough to think that what he said had any depth underneath it. Joel cared about you– this you knew. He cared in the same way he cared for Tommy and Ellie. But somewhere along the lines you’d gotten it confused with love, something he had for them, but maybe not you. Samson’s words replayed in your head in a painful reminder.

You said you and Joel weren’t a thing… Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody.. Is there someone in the picture?

Your eyes widened then narrowed, your jaw wiring shut as your chest began to heave. Tommy’s grin fell as he watched your features morph into something between resent and heartbreak, his eyes nervously peering from you, to Joel, to Samson as the alcohol took a momentary backseat.

He’d always sensed something between you and Joel after you settled in, though he knew that neither one of you would ever admit to your feelings for each other out of stubbornness. But he saw the way Joel looked at you after saying you didn’t have someone to call your own this morning, how his big brother almost looked offended by the truth of your answer. The reality was that Samson was interested in you, but Tommy had seen it as an opportunity to put pressure on the status between you both, and now he saw that it didn’t go in the direction of which he hoped and it was clearly affecting you.

“Oh, y’know he won’t take ‘er home! Never’s taken anyone. Not like that with him. Too chickenshit.” He tried his best to play off his earlier comment to put you at ease, but by the way the gap seemed to be closing between them only made the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head in full force.

You cleared your throat as you broke away, grabbing three shots off a nearby high table and handing them to the two men before you, needing to wash down the bitter taste in your mouth. “Oh, Tommy, you must’ve mistaken me for someone who cares. Who knows if I’ll even be going home tonight?”

Samson’s face lit up in surprise as you wiggled your brows at him and grabbed his hand to lead away while leaving Tommy open-mouthed as he saw right through your spite. Breathless curses left his mouth as he watched you disappear through the crowd, a frustration growing towards you and Joel for being so goddamn stupid about each other.

The barkeeps fed you two more shots and another beer. The alcohol was definitely hitting now. A few minutes ago, you were properly pissed off, wanting to storm up to Joel and give him a piece of your mind and telling the woman to go kick rocks, but now you were all over Samson, turning up the charm for him. It didn’t matter anymore if he just wanted to fuck, because maybe you’d just let him. He let out a chuckle and smiled, prompting you to tilt your head at him in question.

“The music tonight has been so fucking good,” he drank from the bottle, a smirk forming on your face, “I mean, when was the last time you heard this song?”

The bass riff and guitars let you know exactly what song had been playing, a long-time favorite of yours. You could’ve answered 'a couple months ago' to his question, but you took silent pride in knowing that he was another person impressed by your picks. He understood your cue as you turned your head to the middle of the room and back, placing his hand on the small of your back as you weaved through people. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he drew you closer to him by your waist, moving in sync to the beat.

♫

One of these nights One of these crazy old nights We're gonne find out pretty mama What turns on your lights ...

♫

If intimacy, yearning, and sex was a song, surely it’d be this one.

♫

Ooh.. someone to be kind to In between the dark and the light ...

♫

You sang out with your heart, pressing your body into Samson’s, but knowing the lyrics were about him. And deep down, you wanted him to hear it and think of you. Think of how you were the daughter of the devil himself and the angel in white, the woman he’s been looking for with a little of both and how she is in sight.

Around you were all couples reflecting exactly what you’d been doing, some doing more but your eyes didn’t linger on them long. You caught the faces of work friends and neighbors totally focused on their person as you swayed around, smiling at their fun. Eventually, the whole room sang along, an imperfect harmony to your ears that you couldn’t get tired of hearing tonight.

As the song winded down, Samson held you closer and craned his head down until your foreheads and noses were touching, still swaying to the guitar riffs. You took it a step further and pressed your mouth to his, your hand cupping his cheek and fingertips grazing his hair. You hadn’t expected anything out of it other than the feeling of your lips on someone else’s, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Your tongues found one another every other kiss, deepening as they went. His warmth kept you glued to him, and you found yourself taking a liking to his taste of alcohol and.. mint, maybe? Definitely something with an icy, refreshing hint.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been kissing, or kissing enough times that it was leading to straight-up making out, until you heard clear hoots and whistles during the switch between songs. When you pulled away, his lips were noticeably more plump compared to earlier, and the tingling sensation on yours let you know that they probably looked the same. You bit your bottom lip as you looked around at the ones cheering you on, the corners of your mouth curling up, but you broke out into a complete grin once you saw his face.

♫

Off with your head Dance til you're dead Heads will roll Heads will roll ...

♫

You’d almost tripped over your own two feet, discreetly looking over Samson’s shoulder from left to right to make sure you were seeing things right, and the excitement you felt when they were? Unmatched. And almost as if it’d been planned, the perfect song was playing.

If he’d been giving you or Samson a death-stare, you couldn’t tell, but either way, you loved seeing the scowl on his face. His fingers tightly curled around his beer that if he did it any tighter it’d break, the hard lines on his face prominent to you even this far away. You situated yourself to the side, giving him the perfect view as you brushed your nose against Samson’s, giving him your best doe eyes before melting into his mouth again, making sure that Joel could see the smile on your lips when you broke away and went back for more.

Your body winded up as the song progressed, building up to the drop and heavy riff. The strobe lights blinked quickly enough to cause a stroboscopic effect on everyone’s movement, perceiving them to move slower than they actually were. But when you looked back at Joel, he stayed completely still, his eyes locked on you between the several bodies that separated you from him. He looked so.. menacing.. that it made you shiver and throb. A wicked grin spread on your lips.

♫

Off, off with your head! Dance, dance til you're dead!

♫

Turning around, you pressed into Samson and grinded your backside into him. His hands were off you as quickly they were on you, frowning at the absence, you spun around and saw why: Tommy, again. You’d suspected something bad from the way his gaze fell back and forth between you both and he had a strong hand on his shoulder, but were eased when Samson held up a finger to you and smiled.

As much as you wanted to dance, you also wanted another drink, the empty bottle in your hand now warm from holding it for so long. Sliding shoulders through the floor, you looked between the bar and the bathroom, choosing to make the pitstop before continuing on. Pushing in the door, you were relieved there wasn’t a line, darting into an open stall to squat and do your business. As you finished, another body entered the bathroom in heels that clicked and echoed until they stopped in front of the sink, to what you imagined was a woman checking her makeup. When you got out, you saw their reflection in the mirror– indeed they’d been checking their face, but it’d also been the woman that’d been smitten with Joel. You paid no mind to her other than your initial glance, ignoring her presence and harshly scrubbing the soap on your hands.

“That older Miller’s somethin’, ain’t he?” Your hands froze under the running water. “I only got a taste earlier, but I bet he’s real good in bed.”

The fuck does she mean she got a taste earlier?

Your face must’ve been showing too much of a reaction based on the stupid fucking smile on hers and a snobbish laugh. Not even bothering to dry off your hands with paper towel, you rubbed them against your jeans and threw the door open to leave, storming up to the bar and impatiently tapping your fingers against the wood as you waited.

Fuck her, and fuck Joel. And you know what? Fuck Tommy, too. If he hadn’t brought it to your attention, maybe you wouldn’t have seen it. Then you wouldn’t have downed one too many drinks and legitimately considered sleeping with someone as rebound off hurt feelings, and then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be feeling like all kinds of fucked up right now. You blinked back the burning in your eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry over this right now.

The lights returned to their original dimness and calmed down on the strobes, allowing you to search around a bit easier for any of the three people you found yourself with most tonight, but had no luck. Samson and Tommy were out of sight, and you didn’t have the slightest idea of what he pulled Samson away for. As for Joel, he moved from the last spot you remembered him in, or was it over there? You shook your head. It didn’t take much contemplation to decide on going home, you had your fun, but it was over, and you were too far gone to spark it back up in any capacity.

You held your arms tight to your body as you embraced the cool air on the walk to Rancher Street, a fair distance from the Tipsy Bison. The lightness in your head caused you to stumble quite a bit, wishing that either your house was closer or that someone would’ve walked with you. Other times when you drank too much, though it didn’t happen very often, either Tommy or Joel were right there at your side to get you home safe, but you wanted to throw yourself in someone’s yard and pass the fuck out rather than be alone.

Stomping up the porch, you caught yourself on the doorknob last minute as you tripped, fumbling it open and pushing inside. You ungracefully dropped to your ass, tugging at the aglets of your laces in the dark until the knots came undone and kicked your shoes off. So focused on keeping yourself upright, you hadn’t noticed Joel staring at you while leaning against the entryway of the living room with his arms crossed.

“Wasn’t expecting you.” His tone was deep and flat. You scoffed as you got off the floor, face contorting as you mocked him.

“I live here, don’t I?”

“Alone, I meant.” You shook your head as you walked past him, but he grabbed your wrist and held you in place, feeling the heat of his glare on your back. “You gon’ tell me what the hell that was back there?”

You met his eyes over your shoulder. “That was me having a good time. Same as you with that lovely woman.”

“Bullshit.” He shot back. “That wasn’t the same.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed while yanking your wrist back, turning into the kitchen and bracing yourself along the island, “s’hardly a difference.”

“Really?” He followed you, his frustration apparent in the way his jaw clenched. “‘Cause it sure looked like you were all over him tryin’ to prove somethin’.”

You pointed at yourself, “I don’t have anything to prove to anybody!” you snapped, the words coming out slow but loud, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

His eyes darkened, slowly taking a step towards you, “I am not-”

“Then what the fuck is wrong?” You staggered around the island on the emphasis of the curse, throwing your hands up, “I didn’t do a damn thing, and you’re losing your fucking head!”

“You didn’t– Wow.” A wry laugh came out his mouth. He waved you off, his tone dripping with bitterness. “I ain’t gotta explain myself to you.”

“And neither do I!” You retorted in defiance, your arms grandly gesturing. Your cheeks were hot with anger now, more so than before. “I can do whatever the hell I want, Joel! I don’t need your fucking permission!”

He dragged a hand down his face, turning away from you before whipping around and meeting you at the end of the island, raising his voice at you. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“And you’re insufferable!” you seethed as you pushed his chest, his hands seizing your wrists, “Acting like you have some fucking claim over me when we’re not even together!”

The silence after your outburst was deafening.

His anger faltered as a flash of pain crossed his face, quickly making your own frustration subside. The hard lines on his face deepened, a slight frown and somberness settling upon it. His grip on your wrists remained firm, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his touch. You wanted to blame the alcohol for making you so mean, but it was really the floodgate of feelings that’d been repressed for far too long.

You huffed, “Joel, I-” he interrupted you by tearing his eyes away from yours and releasing your wrists.

The pang in your chest was unmistakable. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This was the part where everything was supposed to come out, to confront the truth of your feelings, but instead he was backing away, retreating and shutting down that conversation before it could even begin. You said his name again, but he simply raised his hand and continued to walk out of the kitchen.

Fuck– No. No, no, no. Your dejection passed and your temper flared up again. No, he doesn’t get to just walk away.

“Joel!” You called out, your voice tinged with frustration and desperation, “Joel, stop!”

But he didn’t. He kept walking, putting more distance between you and fueling your determination. Your heart was pounding as you quickened your pace to catch up with him upstairs, his arm just out of reach before he slammed his door in your face. He didn’t respond when you pounded on the door and demanded for him to come out, your temper mixing between anger and hurt.

“Screw you, Joel! I’m so tired of this– whatever the fuck this is!” Your voice trembled, feeling a punch to the gut when you remembered an obnoxiously accurate point he’d made to you once before. “I-I fucked up– but people do things when they’re scared!”

Your eyes stung, and it hadn’t dawned on you yet that you were potentially jeopardizing everything by blabbering off, but you couldn’t stop now.

“I can’t- Fuck-” a ruined sigh forced itself out your lungs, your thoughts moving too fast for you to comprehend, “If you’re gonna break my heart, do it now, because I can’t-”

You didn’t know when he’d opened the door and stepped out, but you stopped your rambling as soon as you saw him. The silence fell heavy, the only sound being his boots stepping towards you until his chest was nearly touching yours and his breath fanned over your skin. Your eyes darted around his face, from his eyes, to his nose, lips, beard, and back to his eyes again. Just the slightest inch forward and you’d be touching him, the fact making you shiver and fiercely pulse between your thighs.

Your heart ached when you saw the raw emotion in his eyes– an amalgamation of sadness, yearning, lust, and tenderness– all things you grew to be familiar with when you found yourselves running in circles. You couldn’t stand the way his eyes flickered between yours and how his warm hands were slowly reaching up to cup your face. And how you could now feel his chest pressed against yours. And how his lips parted. And that fucking look on his face.

“Joel,” you quavered, “don’t..”

But he knew.

A soft, broken breath escaped you as it was all suddenly becoming too real, reaching the point of no return.

“Don’t look at me like that unless you mean it.”

His lips crashed into yours.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #annasmasterlist #annawrites

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meganechan05 · 1 year ago

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"Rita of Gokkan"

TTFC's original webcomic from Rita's POV.

First 10 Chapters are available on TTFC to read. First 3 Chapters free on BookLive and Piccomo.

(Spoilers ahead)

I'm surprised they managed to create a webcomic in Rita's POV as well as having a weekly release to show more of what was going on in their head.

The chapters are rather short to fit the format of a weekly series (especially a full-colored one), but shows enough of what is going on in Rita's POV. The first Chapter is 43 pages compared to the 14 of other chapters simply bc it goes over the entire opening monologue of the pilot.

(Please note that I am not fluent, the lack of furigana makes it hard for me to read kanji, but I know enough to use context clues to get a general yet vague grasp of what is happening).

The first chapter takes place during the events of episode 4 given it's before arresting Gira but about a week after episode 1. It starts with Morfonia running and Rita then fights off Sanegims outside the castle reminiscent of Episode 5's first fight scene. Even down to Rita's speech as they enter the castle as well as sentencing someone to a -10° cell during a trial.

The rest of the chapter would show a little more insight on Rita and Morf's relationship as Morf does seem to show concern over Rita's behavior after the first Bugnarok attack. The chapter ends with Rita entering their office and cuts to the events of Chapter 1 as Rita recalls it after picking up Gira's Wanted flier (cut to Chapters 2-9)

This is where we actually get more of Rita's inner thoughts and perspectives of the other Kings in the first episode. Specifically Racles and Yanma as those two were the ones causing the most problems for the Chief Justice. Not so much Kaguragi, but there is a moment during the fight where Rita and Himeno kinda butt heads because Himeno jumped into the line of fire after Rita takes a shot at a Sanegim.

I won't say much else as a good chunk of the comic is retelling what happened in the first episode, but it does confirm my headcanon of Rita being way too suspicious of Racles in the early episodes prior to watching "Racles's Secret" which led to them being more than happy to get a DNA sample by smacking the absolute shit out of him. It also shows how Rita is sick and tired of each King's selfishness when all they want is for the Alliance to work for the sake of the people but learn none of the Kings can work together. Something that explains why Rita was so close to throwing hands with Yanma and Himeno in Episode 5 while going "i don't give a fck if you're a royal" to their faces 😂

Chapter 10 is more of Rita going over their past and shedding details on how they grew up after becoming King at 10 years old. It also features a chat with Moffun that is a 180 in style which is very fitting for Rita's mental state (i love it so much~). The chapter ends with Morf calling Rita before Rita heads to Toufu for the arrest.

Honestly, the webcomic is pretty good at being very close to how the episodes played out while also bringing in another perspective of the whole situation. Some details were added in that weren't in the show simply because it makes more sense to know now rather than putting random tiny details together and have a huge theory board throughout the show.

I mean I do have one, but y'know. KingOh lore is insane.

What I do appreciate about this webcomic is how it touches on Rita and Morfonia's relationship in more detail. Even down to Rita's thinking whenever Morf's laid back personality and disrespecting authority makes them hold back a scream mid-meeting 😂

I do wonder how much input Kamihori and TakaMina have and how much discussions made with the artist to bring this side project to life. Or at least how much was planned or if TakaMina was just begging for his little autistic blorbo to have some shining moments that were glossed over in the show in favor of getting the plot moving.

#kingohger #king ohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #rita kaniska #rita kanisuka #kingohger spoilers #kingoh spoilers #king ohger spoilers #Gokkan no Rita #Rita of Gokkan

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iguessitsjustme · 2 years ago

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On Pat's Maturity

Earlier this week I wrote about Jeng and mentioned Pat’s maturity and I thought why not write about it a little bit while I have some time this morning. I have no idea how long or short this will be and I haven’t thought about it since writing my Jeng post so let’s see what happens.

I genuinely think that Pat is the most mature character on the show (well except Chot, but no one holds a candle to his maturity and honestly his guidance is probably why Pat is so mature now). At the beginning of the show, Pat was a new employee, didn’t know how to tell people no, was overworked, underappreciated, in the closet, and had a hard time regulating his emotions.

We can credit Jeng for some of Pat’s growth and maturity, but honestly, it was mostly Chot that showed Pat how to calmly and maturely approach any issues he might have in life. Chot was always there for Pat to go to for advice and Chot was the one character that Pat also knew was queer. Yay queer friendships! Oh boy I got off topic. Okay. So let’s break this down into two parts. Pat’s maturity at work and his maturity in his relationships.

Work:

Pat started as someone who was a hard worker, but didn’t necessarily know the basics of his job. He also had no problem calling out Ying when she threw him under the bus. And Pat’s ability to stand up for himself is probably what led him to be able to have the kind of growth that he’s had. Should he have thrown Ying under the bus like that? I’ve thought about it and I don’t think so. He absolutely should have alerted management to the issues going on, but there is a time and place for everything and that was not the time nor the place. But he was young and stressed and taken advantage of. This is Pat’s first office job and he genuinely did not know better. He had no idea how to handle that situation.

Now, Pat was successfully able to lead a campaign and despite what Chris’ mother said and did, he didn’t say anything. Pat learned that there was a time and place and also that he would need to calm down before saying anything. So when he was able to, he removed himself from the situation and gave himself the time and space to calm down. He then let Jeng and Jaab handle the issue. Jeng was in a position of power so it wasn’t just that he knew what to say and how to say it, but it was that he was in a position where his words held weight and he had the power to use those words. (It is still my favorite scene in the series and I did my best to gif it)

It’s not just that Pat was taught these lessons but that he was open to learning them. Do you know how many young people in their first office job aren’t receptive to learning because they think they know everything already? Just the mere willingness to learn and improve shows extraordinary maturity from Pat and I love him dearly for it. (This is not to say that all young people act like they know everything at first, just some and it’s annoying).

But how does Pat handle being harassed at work? I’m so glad you asked. Pat was basically forced to out himself or participate in a disgusting conversation that he did not want to be a part of. Pat chose to out himself and in the process got harassed. I’m going to say that I’m an advocate for throwing hands at harassers but that might not be the most mature way to handle it. Pat then let Jeng handle the situation and didn’t argue with Jeng’s decision. I think this really helped Pat have the backbone to say no in his personal relationships. Just knowing that there is one person in the world who will have your back makes it easier to handle the things that Pat handled with grace and maturity.

Relationships:

Kong - Pat was so excited to see his old friend. He thought maybe a spark would be there. Pat was searching for any sort of relationship outside of the potentially problematic feelings he had for Jeng. So when Kong was in town, Pat was delighted. He got ready, he let Chot do his hair, he was a young man ready to go meet people. Then Kong had to cancel and of course Pat was upset, but at no point did he blame Kong for canceling. This left the door open for Pat to see Kon later. When it turned out that Kong was trying to get Pat to join his MLM (ha), Pat finally, after some advice, firmly told him no. He also told Kong that he had crossed boundaries and he wasn’t okay with that. Early on, we see Pat establishing strict boundaries that he will not let people cross. Do you know how amazing it is to see such strong boundaries in a BL? And it’s coming from the youngest character.

Put - Oh Put. Oh darling, stupid Put. He is the least mature of Pat’s love interests. That probably worked fine before Pat grew up and started looking for an adult relationship. Put wasn’t able to effectively communicate with Pat. Whenever Pat tried to discuss anything even remotely serious, Put retreated behind a plushie to try to convince Pat that they were good and in love and Put was never able to face the issues they had. Pat wanted someone who was present and who would listen and Put wasn’t able to do any of those things. So Pat ended it in one of the most mature break up scenes I’ve ever witnessed.

Pat didn’t let his relationship with Put drag on. He wanted them to work but as soon as he realized that they wouldn’t work, he ended it.

Jeng - I think I mentioned in my earlier post that when Jeng and Pat start dating, Jeng basically turns into a teenager in love. Pat is the one in the relationship trying to make sure that they aren’t crossing any lines. And then when Pat starts facing harassment in the workplace again, he tries to go to Jeng, who is his boyfriend, yes, but is also his boss. Jeng approached that issue as strictly Pat’s boyfriend who was scared of the implications that acknowledging those rumors would have for their relationship. Pat approached that issue as Jeng’s boyfriend who wanted to face the issues together. He also knows Jeng is his boss and has helped him when being harassed before. So when Jeng tries to ignore the problem and not talk about it, Pat does the best thing he can do in that situation. He leaves. He had already left one relationship where he wasn’t listened to and communication was hard. Of course he leaves another when any and all attempts and communicating a very real issue that is affecting him in a very negative way is ignored in favor of a makeout session, attempted hand job, and then cuddling.

When Jeng says this, what Pat hears is that his concerns are not being taken seriously. Because Pat right now isn’t happy. He loves Jeng, but he loves himself too. And it is incredibly mature of him to remove himself from the toxic workplace instead of letting himself get harassed and then letting the harassment get ignored. If Pat stayed, all of that toxicity and harassment would fester and he would internalize it and Pat has already learned that he is allowed to say no. He’s allowed to have boundaries even at work. So he leaves.

I honestly think that leaving was the best thing Pat could have done for his and Jeng’s relationship. Not only did it stop him from internalizing things and potentially lashing out at Jeng because of it, but it served as a much needed wake up call for Jeng. Who needed to remember that at work, he is not Pat’s boyfriend, he is Pat’s boss. He was so lost in the new relationship and his love for Pat that he forgot about all of his duties and responsibilities outside of Pat. Relationships are about the people that are in them. But the world still exists outside of the relationship. Pat was forcibly reminded of that by his coworkers bullying him. Jeng was forcibly reminded of that by Pat leaving. Jeng is about to have to face the world alone, without Pat there to tell him where he fucked up. And honestly? Jeng was probably relying on Pat too much for that as well. Jeng tried to change but he tried to change for Pat meanwhile when Pat changed, he did it for himself.

This ended up longer than I expected. I’m tagging @magpie24601 since you mentioned you wanted to see a post about Pat’s maturity.

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step bl #this is what happens when i visit my parents and they leave me alone to go to church #i write about bl boys #and i'm dead tired because my one coworker got me addicted to caffeine again and the only caffeine in this house #is the god awful coffee that my dad makes #anyway do i know what i said in this post?#nope now idea i have no clue #i blacked out and wrote it and i refuse to read it #have fun #i wanted to include more screenshots but i am too tired to go looking #i'm gonna go hunt for some caffeine now wish me luck

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ciw-i-do-stuff · 2 months ago

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I don't know what I'm doing

I have wasted my life. I’m not even thirty, but I don’t think I’ve ever made a decision I don’t regret. At this point the only reason I haven’t died yet is because I’m a coward. I think I was happy when I was a child, but given how few specific memories I have of actually being happy compared to those where I, at best, feel nothing, or am actively miserable, I’m not even sure if that’s true anymore or if I’ve just been gaslighting myself for the better part of the last decade.

I’m not planning on killing myself. I know from previous experience that even if I tried I’d chicken out at the last minute, and put myself even further in the hole with medical bills. I’ve found myself in a position where technically I want to be alive, but truthfully if i suffered a grievous injury, or was afflicted with a terminal illness, I would probably try to make it worse because it would have given me the excuse of “Hey, I’m not committing suicide, I’m just speeding along a foregone conclusion.”

Naturally, with all that, I’ve also been thinking about what happens after I die. Honestly I hope that when all’s said and done, when the last flicker of me leaves my body, everything that could have been me ends entirely. Every thought an electrical signal decaying into heat, everything gone forever. No afterlife, nothing. I freely admit that at least a part of this is probably because most of the stories of personified deaths I have heard or read have those personifications despise those who seek to meet them, and while I can’t say that label fully applies to me, I also can’t say it doesn’t apply at all.

If I am forced to choose though, I hope that a reaper like the one written by Terry Pratchett for the discworld series or Jenny Jinya’s Loving Reaper comes to collect. A Death that offers no judgment for the failings of my life, only encouragement to cast off any lingering regrets and guidance to what comes next. Of course if any singular religion is true, the best I can hope for after meeting the reaper is either reincarnation into a lowly and miserable existence or an eternity in an afterlife whose only feature is being boring. I’ve never been good enough to deserve an eternal reward, and while I’ve never been particularly horrid either, I’ve definitely committed my fair share of blasphemy against basically every religion I have any understanding of. Who knows though, maybe one of the pre homo sapien religions was correct. One that is so old, we will never know anything about it other than that it existed.

Ignoring things like the presence and nature of an afterlife though, I think that here in observable reality I would like to be forgotten. Few have ever stayed in the public consciousness for generations after their deaths because things were going well, even ignoring the monsters of history that ruined everything. Churchill is only remembered because of world war two, if he had been prime minister of britain before, or after, the world wars, the average person would struggle to recognize his name. The same could be said for most U.S. presidents. The events that people remember are catastrophes, and if a historical figure doesn’t get tied to one in some way they probably won’t be remembered. For example, the thirtieth president of the United States, Calvin Coolidge. What does the average person know about him without skimming his wikipedia. I’d wager that most people don’t even remember he was a president until they hear his name and the word president in the same sentence, let alone which one he was or when he was in office. Long story short, most people we remember are not remembered because they were exemplars of merit and ethics, they are remembered because they are the worst of us or because they opposed some piece of the abject filth humanity is capable of being.

I don’t want people to remember me as anything more than a quiet guy who liked to write even though he knew it would never go anywhere because he was kinda bad at it. Someone who kept to himself and avoided involving other people in his problems. But now that I’ve written it out, that might actually be too much remembrance. Ideally, when the time comes, people will have the same awareness of my absence as a stoner barely realizing their roommate walked through the living room.

I realize this has been rambly and in all likelihood a bit hard to follow, so if you’ve bothered to try, I’m grateful.

#tw depressing stuff #writing

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jujutsuflavoredpeach · 2 years ago

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ENDING (PART II) - AS HE IS

Pairing Inumaki Toge x fem!reader Other Characters Okkotsu Yuta, Shoko Ieiri, Satoru Gojo, Itadori Yuji, Zen'in Maki, Fushiguro Megumi Content angst, hurt, longing, anger, struggle, romance, fluff, friendship, hopeful Warnings jjk MANGA SPOILERS, CULLING GAME SPOILERS PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ﹢PART I - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART II - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART III - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART IV (I) - AS HE IS﹢ / ﹢PART IV (II) - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART V - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢FINAL (PART I) - AS HE IS﹢

A/N ❀ ¡Hello there! Here is FINAL (PART II) of AS HE IS. The second part of the final chapter of this series. This is the definitely the ending, meaning there will be no more parts after this. I really dwelled on the type of ending I wanted to give to this multi-chapter madness, and here it is. Don't know what to feel, honestly. Super duper happy I get to mention @androgynousweaselpatrolbat , because this person's words were so damn vital for me, and I'd also like to dedicate the previous chapter to her as well. I srsly hope for everyone to meet someone who is just as kind to you as she's been with me, 'cause the internet needs a lot of that. And... If you are reading this: ∗ ࣪ ˖ ♡ ˖ ࣪ ∗I APPRECIATE YOU BEING HERE.∗ ࣪ ˖ ♡ ˖ ࣪ ∗ ¡Hope you like it!❀

"Touch has a memory. O say, love, say, What can I do to kill it and be free?”

'Like she would forget a quote from a book she references fifty times a day and has read at least two hundred million times.' Toge thought to himself.

His breath came in short gasps as he ran towards the door.

"Locked." he gritted his teeth.

'I'm sorry Y/n, but I'll have to push myself even further.'

"EXPLODE"

This time it worked, Toge had taken advantage of you getting weak as his body shook uncontrollably. He started to run, to wherever that might be. It was door, after door, after door, filled with past events of you and him, but he couldn't stop and smell the roses, he just kept forcing his legs to push harder. He was on a race to find Shoko's office, a race against time to save you from death and he just couldn't see the end of it, until he came to an abrupt halt. One of the doors led him to a corridor, and there you were once more.

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears. Toge's breathing was rapid, feeling a bead of sweat running down his forehead. The atmosphere was becoming more and more tight.

"John Keats." you told him, looking into his dark eyes. "He was a romantic, with a capital 'r'. But the last part was a mistake. I wanted to feel your touch, not tell you to kill yourself."

You made a pause, looking into his eyes. They were full of determination, ready to finish what you already knew he was there to do.

"You need to go back with the others Toge. Remember the game, remember Satoru. It isn't about Tokyo anymore, it's about saving the entire world. You need to declare yourself, make yourself useful out there before time runs out."

Toge had gotten closer to you, so close that he was barely touching the tip of your nose. He studied your face for a while, the energy was escaping you and you felt suffocated as you focused on his face. You rested your head on his shoulder, as he held your body firmly against his.

"I didn't want it to be this way." you cried on his shoulder with your eyes closed. "That day when Maki told me I- You were the only thing on my mind. I couldn't wait to reach the door to Shoko's office and be able to breath again from seeing you alive. I can still recall the burn in my calves from running so fast. I wasn't even scared of falling, I just wanted to be by your side." you let out a breathy laugh in between your sobs.

You felt Toge's hot breath against your temple as he lightly kissed you there.

"You weren't ready. I'm deeply sorry, I was a selfish brat."

'Inumaki, stop being a selfish brat.'

He laughed softly, remembering Shoko's words.

"¿What's so funny?" you leaned back looking puzzled, as a smile grew on your lips.

"I was a selfish brat too." his eyes crinckled at the corners, and the two of you couldn't help but let out a laugh with tears running down your face.

"I love you. As you are." you looked him dead in the eye this time, placing a hand on his cheek. Toge's arm was wraped around your waist as you spoke and his gaze bore into yours. You tried to sparkle for him one last time.

"You were the first thing on my mind when I woke up that day."

Your eyes met with a flare of heat this time. You blushed, and he didn't hold back, but neither did you as you threw your arms over your shoulders and pulled him closer as you felt the fire ignite. The feeling of Toge's tonge against your lips sent a chill through your body, and soon yours darted out to meet his. The tingling sense was overwhelming. The kiss was urgent and strong, but his lips felt gentle like cotton. You arched against him as if begging for more, as his body was wordlessly saying just how much he loved you. He brushed his fingers across your shoulders, letting the straps of your dress fall as he attacked your neck with open mouth kisses, moving from your throat to your collarbone, slowly running a hand over your stomach as he then kissed your breasts. You were drowning in an overwhelming feeling of pleasure. He was drunk, completely lost in the feeling of your flesh against his lips.

Your eyelids fluttered when you felt Toge's lips capture yours as his firm hand brushed your cheek. Suddenly, it all stopped. You looked at him adoringly, as your lips caressed his and you stroke a hand down his back. His face became nothing but a blur, when a splitting pain erupted through your head. It was as if the pain was crushing your insides, claiming your body for its own.

Toge knew you were reaching your limit.

'O say, love, say,'

"I love you. " he whispered against your ear.

He had never felt so certain about anything else in his entire life.

'What can I do'

Toge laid your body on the floor as you contorted from the agonizing pain that cursed through you, forcing a moan to try and gain his attention. You were paralyzed, eyes wide with fear as your energy escaped you, filling you with a powerful sense of loss.

"D-don't"

"Tell the others to eat lots of tuna mayo for me, I'm going to miss it. Also, tell Yuta to not sweat it. He did a good job in keeping your secrets. Helping you, and keeping your feelings safe. He was being a good brother to you, like always. And, let's go on a date."

He said as he stood with his back turned to you.

"When I set you free, let's go on a date. I'm sorry I only had the courage to tell you this right now."

You watched him run as fast as he could towards the door to Shoko's office, hearing the voices from the inside getting clearer as he was getting closer and closer. Your voice.

"¿Are you hiding from me? You don’t have to-”

“Y/n, maybe he needs time to-”

Shoko's voice. Toge felt a surge of adrenaline as he reached for the knob.

"Let me help you now that I’m here… Please, don’t hide from me. As long as you are still breathing… ¡Look at me Inumaki Toge! ¡Please!"

Bursting into the room just like you did once, but this time it was all for you. The scene was collapsing around him, and the image of you with your back to him was now fading with everything else, everything, but his own image that was still standing, ready to unleash his cursed words on you, but he was ready.

'What can I do to'

“¡GET OU-!"

'to kill it'

"¡GET CRUSHED!"

'and be free?'

"W-ake...up"

REPORT OF INVESTIGATION. TOKYO METROPOLITAN CURSE TECHNICAL COLLEGE. Reported by: Dr. Ieiri Shoko. Patient: Y/l/n,Y/n. Sex: F. Case number: 0

INTENT OF REPORT: Counting and description of powers and abilities. Evolution and progress since 'Incident 0'.

Subject's Inner Domain Expansion (Apeiron Blue Genus Submission). The sorceress is able to conjure her domain by simply projecting her most profound desires and so, it takes the form of an endless field of blue colored nemophilas. A nemophila is born in conjuction with millions of other flowers creating an infinite sight, each flower being a copy of the other.

Her inner domain expansion was unleashed on 'Incident 0', reinforcing her innate ability, which gave her the highly advanced ability to control her mental structure. Added to it, was the clash between the flow of her cursed energy that acted as a shield against cursed speech technique, and the weight of Inumaki Toge's (Cursed Speech Innate User) cursed energy that expanded and attacked her brain. The sorcerer used both energies as resources to replicate a neuronal pathway that would only connect by impulse between her and Inumaki Toge.

Under repeated and arduous training tests, she has been able to far surpass herself, taking control of new powers and increased abilities.

The sorceress inner domain is one of a kind, and allows her to trap the target within her own mind, creating a separate space that she can handle at her own will, as well as moving indepently. Her power has increased significantly, using copy after copy, to torture, manipulate and kill her opponents from the moment they get caught up in it.

The sorceress can subdue her victims by accessing their minds, collecting their information through replication to acquire knowledge, even inducing a trance state on them before externalizing her domain to trap them in it. This has been substantiated by her testimony about the events of 'Incident 0'.

The sorceress can create anything she wants through her innate ability as long as she remembers it well. Objects, events, locations, powers, or memories, even combining them to create something entirely new from scratch. No limits, no damage, no side effects. Unlike the events that unfolded in 'Incident 0'. Capabilities include: Replicatin everything she sets her mind to, by will and desire. That includes the environment natural features. This means she can create, shape and manipulate the worlds within herself or within the insides of another individual by controlling its mind, heart, body and soul.

The side effects of 'Incident 0' have turned the sorceress into a high-lever user of cursed technique. The externalization of her domain by turning it into a physical environment and being able to bring others within it makes her a deathly force to be reckoned with. My observations are clear, that the sorceress is on her way to becoming a Special Grade Sorceress the likes of Okkotsu Yuta. Rare and one of its kind.

FURTHER OBSERVATIONS: As for medical, the sorceress is in good condition even if carrying vast levels of cursed energy. Speed, agility, meneuverability and stamina are paired. Undergoes weekly medical examinations, as oppossed to every two days due to the damage of an unknown incident inside the domain that made the energy distribute among her cells. The hypothesis revealed that only one cell remained, keeping active by feeding off of the cursed energy still present in her body. The resource the cell used to stay alive was a renmant of the new power she had created in the first place. The studies right after the incident revealed that a cell that belonged to a unified consciousness composed of several replicas survided, taking its place in the center of what may be called a 'mental hive'. Like a queen, the old sorceress throne was taken by a replica of her consciousness and spirit, thus keeping her alive, in addition to mantaining her powers and abilities.

Without further observations, I deliver this report to the appropriate authority Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerer, Satoru Gojo.

Dr. Ieiri Shoko. TOKYO METROPOLITAN CURSE TECHNICAL COLLEGE.

"Next time you can write me a love letter similar to this one." Gojo Said as Shoko signed the papers and then handed him the pen to do the same.

"When you are dead maybe. I'll have to make your report then."

"¡Ouch! Good thing I'm already too good to be true, it'll be easy to write. Although, I feel sorry for you because you won't find enough paper to write so much about me."

"Mhm. I see that after being trapped inside that cube you still haven't changed a thing." she answered with a blank expression as she sucked on a lollipop. Gojo let out a long sigh, followed by his signature idiot smile while he clasped both hands behind his back to stretch his arms.

"I mean ¿Those two lovebirds were out for each other or what? ¡Y/n is third to me and second to Yuta now! She really turned herself into a deathly man trap."

"Yeah, I don't think that's-"

"¿How's our little tuna fish by the way?" he asked cutting Shoko off, which caused her to give him a death glare.

"It's been a year Satoru. You do the observations for that one."

Shoko looked at him dead in the eye and she could see Gojo's addam apple bobbing up and down, still holding a sly grin, but she knew he was just trying to seem unaffected.

Twelve months had passed. You woke up November 8th on a bed next to Toge's unconsciouss body with an violent shake. Shoko found you soon after, sensing the abnormal level of cursed energy from miles away. You had fallen out of the bed in a tangle of sheet and blanket, not being able to stand up due to the weakness in your muscles.

Six hours, that was how many hours Shoko barely managed to get you to rest with an iv attached to your forearm, then you went out to find Yuta and declared your participation to become a part of the ritual. You found him at the Sendai Colony after tracking his energy for at least three days straight. That gave you roughly eight more days to come up with a solution to wake Toge up before November 19th. The expiration date for a player to wake their cursed technique.

Of course, nothing went as planned. A few died in battle, a few got to live, and just half an hour before the end of Novemeber 19th the group was able to release Gojo from the Prison Realm, putting and end to Kenjaku's grotesque game. You felt nothing but relief, as Toge wasn't the only one who got saved that night, but millions of others.

But he never woke up since November 8th.

Ever since the day you came back you only spent your days next to him, thinking of Toge's own sorrow as you were standing in his shoes now, just like he'd been, praying that you'd come back to him. You did everything from cutting his hair, to clipping his nails and giving him massages. Shoko had set up a modest ICU in his room to facilitate his care, and Gojo let you keep his comfortable leather chair. Yuta didn't have to ask where you were. He knew he would find you sitting right beside Toge reading to him, or just talking about random stuff as you'd graze your fingertips up and down his forearm with eyes full of longing. Sometimes you'd cry your eyes out, or have a breakdown due to the stress, and sometimes, Yuta would have to force you to join him for dinner. He'd trick you out of there saying that Toge always asked you if you were eating well when you were busy, which was a tad bit cruel, but Yuta knew that if you surrendered to hoplesness then you'd end up just like him when Rika died. You'd lose the connections with those around you, and then you'd lose yourself entirely.

"I know you feel like you have a purpose, taking care of Toge." he told you one night.

"I do." you averted your gaze trying to discourage him from persuading you to leave his side. You knew he was at it.

"You need a bigger one."

"¡Okkotsu!" you stood up from the chair in the blink of an eye with gritted teeth and a fiery gaze, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

He was unfazed.

"¿What is he going to think when he wakes up and sees that all of his efforts were reduced to you looking as fragile as an autumn leaf?"

'¿Isn't it funny? We are in October. Autumn leaves reach their peak during the month of October, but I managed to make all these bloom inside my mind.' you had said to Toge that time, as he stared at the nemophila sea in awe. Your grip on Yuta's shirt weakened and he grabbed your hand as he placed his other one on your shoulder.

"Look at me." he said and you obliged as the tears fell. "We fought together recently, and it was pretty clear to me that not everything was under control out there. You need to train Y/n, be stronger." you took a few steps back shaking your head in denial.

"I'm not turning into Satoru's little killing machine."

"¡No, you won't! ¡I'm just trying to help a friend out here! My sister." Yuta said, desperately looking for your gaze. "I get it, it was the heat of the moment, a race against time. We were all desperate at one point and we allowed ourselves to be reckless for the sake of humanity, but you know that is not how this usually works."

You only had eyes for Toge as Yuta kept drilling into your skull with his words.

"If you don't learn to live with the level of energy that you are carrying right now, you won't become Satoru's weapon, you'll just be your own misery machine."

He paused for a moment, studying your expression from afar.

"Y/n, you are someone that cares about people, we care about you. Everytime you leave this room for training Toge will be leaving right with you, I promise. He wants you t-"

Before he was able to finish, Yuta's breath was taken away by having your arms around you as you hugged him for a long time. Sobs escaped you and the tears gushed down your cheeks. He let you hold on to him for as long as you needed, holding you into a gentle embrace as you let it all out. He knew it was hard for you to envision yourself going out of that room, leaving behind all the love you had left in the world, your last bit of sanity, but he cared for you, and he owed it to Toge.

First it was an hour of training, then two, then four. That was your limit, and then you'd go back running to Toge's room. Next it was Shoko who had you in and out for tests, check ups and therapy, and to those you simply couldn't say no. After all, you also owed your life to her efforts. She trully cared, and you were a new piece of information, even to yourself. As for Satoru, he'd constantly ask Shoko for updates on your progress and he would supervise your training from time to time, being a pain in the ass like the certified clown that he was. Even so, you were under the impression that he was eager to see you thrive, besides, he wouldn't ask too many questions, especially when you looked too much focused on your abilities. As for Maki and the rest, everything that happened after the ritual had caused significant changes in hierarchy. They needed to put things back into order as history had been rewritten. You both knew you were only a phone call away from each other. And so, that's what life has been for you without Toge, for 365 days.

"The temple sure is beautiful when it's snowing." you said looking out the window of Shoko's office.

Two months had passed and Christmas was right around the corner.

"Sure is." she gave you a tight lip smile. "¿Want to have a seat?"

"Nah, I'm good here." you answered calmly from your seat on the windowsill. "So, ¿what's it going to be today?"

"Well, you know there's been a few instances in which I've asked you the, you know, tough questions and-"

"¿I almost demolish the entire school involuntarily?"

"I mean, yeah, kind of." Shoko said as you both giggled at the almost incident that left Satoru more wide eyed than he's ever been in his whole damn life.

"¿Today it's a tough question day is it? You want me to describe that last part, right before..."

"¿Right before the walls of my office started shaking? Hm, no. It's more like a tough suggestion this time around." she cleared her throat. "¿Why don't you try and trully reach out to him?"

"Wh- ¿What do you mean? If I'm not training or in this office, I'm always right next to him. I tend to him, I clean his room, I-"

"Y/n, I'm talking about trying to reach Toge with-"

"I won't fucking do that." your eyes landed on her like a pair of grenades. "I'm not using cursed energy on him."

"You don't have to go big this time. You can do it slowly, gradually penetrate his senses and test his reaction. You've adapted and progressed, I think it's safe to say that it could be considered as a new option now."

"He'll wake up on his own terms Shoko. I'm not going anywhere near his mind."

"¿Why don't you try reading him your romance-?"

"I'm done with Romanticism. The only thing I read to him are his comics. ¿Can I just...?" you asked pointing at the door.

"Sure." Shoko sighed, but then she raised her voice as she realized something. "¡Oh, wait! You should now, the rest will be here for Christmas. You will all be together, and they want to be close to Inumaki as well, I'm sure."

"Yeah, okay." you nodded and immediately left the office, heading to Toge's room.

Christmas Eve.

"Hey ¿Don't you need to go change?"

You turned around to see Maki's face as you tied a little tuna ornament at the foot of Toge's bed.

"Yeah, It'll be just a sec." you said looking around the room, satisfied with the outcome.

"It looks amazing Y/n, you did good. I think he'd love it just for the little tuna thing, but it's great. Cozy." she said giving you a pat on the back.

You'd gone christmas shopping with Yuta a few days before. The group had gone through a lot altogether, and it's not like gifting each other was going to make you feel any better, but it was meaningful. You were family, and besides it gave you the opportunity to occupy your mind with other things. You decided to decorate Toge's room with faux candles that gave a sense of warmth to the atmosphere, and you had hung some garlands here and there. You loved realistic decor, and you had found a snow flocked pine garland trimmed with red berries that seemed to be covered with the first snowfall of the year. You thought it was lovely.

"¡Oh shoot! It's almost seven." you said looking at your watch.

"I'll stay with Toge for a while before heading back to the dining room, you go change. ¿Need me to do something else for you here?" Maki asked as she sat on the leather couch.

"Uh, yah. Toge's gift is in that bag. ¿Can you put it on his bedside table?"

"¿What did you get him?" Maki asked as she obeyed your orders, but before putting anything next to Toge's bed, she turned around as you didn't answer right away. "Y/n... ¿Are you blushing? Look, you don't have to tell me-"

"¡It's a matching couple set! Pajamas, with little onigiri patterns on them." You replied with your eyes glued to the floor, playing with the hem of your shirt.

"I'm only saying this 'cause it's you, I don't use a word like that, but, you are cute." Maki said, finally placing the bag on the bedside table.

You looked way too flustered, and also you thought it funny that Maki couldn't really look at you in the eye when she answered you. Checking the time once again you rushed to your bedroom and walked straight to your closet. You found this dress that you had never worn before, but that night you would wear it for Toge. Somehow doing things like that made you feel closer to him, but on the other hand, it made you feel a little pathetic. It was like a fantasy you were trying to hold on to. It was hard to be the only one who'd woken up, especially after having such close contact with him. Your first kiss and his first kiss. The first connection with another body that had fallen on your lips, as well as his. Even if he wasn't there to see it, it was defintiely the dress you'd want to wear around him. You had second thoughts because of the others, but Gojo had gone all out for you guys little reunion. It would be intimate, and expensive and everyone was going to be overdressed after all, so it would be fine.

You looked in the mirror admiring the blue bodycon style dress. It fit you like a glove, although you thought the sweetheart neckline perhaps would be too much, but you shook the thought from your head real quick. You'd been wearing enough shirts and sweatpants, so this was okay. It was velvet floral with adjustable strips at the back. Once you were done with your hair, you put on a pair of heels and hurried to gather the gift bags that you had left at the foot of your desk. The only one that didn't have a bag was Megumi's gift, which you had set aside on the desk, on top of a stack of books, so you wouldn't forget it. You had bought him a novel that he could devour in his spare time. Once you took it, you were about to take a step out the door, but stopped yourself right away, turning your face to the desk once more to look at the object next to your keyboard.

It was a thick violet hardcover book, with a title plated in gold letters.

'Poetry Of The English Romantics’

The sight of it sent a jolt through your limbs and made your body tense up.

'¿Why don't you try and trully reach out to him?'

You sucked in a breath at the remembrance of Shoko's words, and then eased the air out of your lungs slowly, thinking long and hard while you chewed at your lower lip. The strength with which you clung to the handles of the gift bags turned your knuckles a ghostly white color.

"Dinner will have to wait a little longer."

The bags fell to the floor with a light thud and you grabbed the book from the desk, heading to Toge's room.

As soon as you walked in, you were enveloped by an atmosphere of silence and stillness, although you were surprised by an object that you had not seen before. A pink throw blanket drapped over your arm chair. It was for you, with a small gift card attached to it.

'¡Pink! Like my hair. Don't hate it 'cause it's pink :( Stay warm. ¡Merry Xmas! Itadori.'

"That's cute." you murmured under your breath. Touched by Yuji's sweet gesture, you grabbed the blanket with a smile and threw it over your shoulders for comfort and sat next to Toge's bed. The room was the perfect temperature, but your skin was made of goosebumps. The curtains were open enough to see the snow falling gently from the dark sky, and the ground floor covered in a thick blanket of powdery white.

Your eyes soon landed on Toge's body, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest. The air from the ventilator fed his heavy lungs and beating heart. His face was paper white, kissed by the soft tinkle of dim yellow light coming from the faux candles. Thin lips, soft and glossy, from the moisturizer you applied to them every night. He'd gotten much skinnier. His stomach was smaller and softer, but he mantained a nice firm arm.

Finding the right page, you closed your eyes and drew a breath, letting it back out with a loud sigh. The environment changed dramatically, still warm, and still the two of you together, but now within your inner domain. You didn't overdo it, you kept it intimate and peaceful. Darkness claimed the both of you, surrounded by nothing more than an inky blackness, until round specks of blue light began to spring from the nothingness, making it kindly tranquil and luminous.

Toge had tried to end himself, but he had only gone against the dark side of him. Fear, loss, insecurity, frustration, vulnerability, anger, shame. It was only a memory that was a part of him. At the time, you only needed his touch, you needed to feel that he was getting closer to where you needed him to be, but the way his heart was pouring out of his mouth made you desperate. It was you, thinking how to end the whole situation. Your soul screaming from the dephts of your own fortress. He grabbed those words in the end, thinking that the answer resided on him taking his own life for your sake. Somehow, it's as if he had lifted a weight from the both of you. That saved you in the end, and you had used every bit of what you had left in that moment to stop him, walking him up from his trance to get him out of there, barely. You knew he'd taken advantage of the fact that you were literally dying to run after the opportunity of giving you one more breath to last a lifetime.

He didn't die in the end, but he was lost, and if Shoko said this could be it, then maybe it could.

You got up from the chair and, carefully and delicately, climbed onto the bed, accommodating your body next to his. You rested your head on his chest and put a hand over his heart, while you held the book with the other, tightly against your chest. Toge's heart drummed within your ears, making your pulse vibrate. He was the root of your dreams and you still felt him long after he let you go.

Feeling a small lump sitting on your throat, you read to him in a small voice.

"What can I do to drive away Remembrance from my eyes? Touch has a memory. O say, love, say, What can I do to kill it and be free In my old liberty? How shall I do? More dismal cares Seize on me unawares, Where shall I learn to get my peace again? To banish thoughts of that most hateful land, That monstrous region, Whose rank-grown forests, frosted, black, and blind, Make lean and lank the starv’d ox while he feeds There flowers have no scent, birds no sweet song, And great unerring Nature once seems wrong. O, for some sunny spell To dissipate the shadows of this hell Say they are gone,- with the new dawning light And let me feel that warm breath here and there To spread a rapture in my very hair, O, the sweetness of the pain Give me those lips again Enough, enough, it is enough for me To dream of thee."

"Don't let go." you whispered softly in his ear.

You cried, swearing he'd grown colder since you had laid there with your body against his. The tears fell from your eyes easily as you went through the memories that were embedded in your brain after the incident, since many others had been lost, or were too blurred.

With a saddened face, you raised a hand to his neck, stroking his soft skin. You straightened up on your elbow, and gazed at him, wistfully and adoringly, gently pressing your warm, sweet lips against his cheek.

"Guess this wasn't it." you gave him one last look and got off the bed, but the weight of your heart almost brought you to your knees and the book slipped from your hands, falling at your feet.

"¡Whoa, watch out girly!"

"¿Satoru?"

He had your arms wrapped around your body, keeping you steady. You had internalized your domain without even realizing it, returning back to the cozy, Christmassy room. You clung to Gojo's arms feeling a litte dizzy and turned around to face Toge. You took a deep breath when you saw he was breathing calmly.

"¿All good?" Satoru asked you with a slight grin on his face.

"Yeah, it's all good. I was just trying to- I wanted him... to find that door. But, I- It doesn't have to be today." you finished under your breath and stormed out of the room as soon as you felt your eyes well up with tears.

The night had turned out to be very nice and quiet. The food was superb and you genuinely tried to be present. Yuta was right, these were people you cared for and they cared for you too. You were fortunate to have those moments with them, and in everyone's mind, Toge was always there with you.

Yuji was ecstatic when you thanked him for your blanket, and everyone gifted you something so as to say you should take care of yourself more. Toge had his own presents too. Moments later, everyone's attention turned to Gojo as he clinked his glass with a knife.

"¡Thank you very much ladies and gentleman for your attention! We are gathered here today, not because it's Christmas, not because Jesus was born, no. We are here because I am simply the best. ¡Gojo Christ!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

You, Maki and Yuji covered your faces, trying to hold back the laughter. Yuta looked on with his lips parted, closing them back soon after, and Megumi simply had his eyes closed waiting for the cringe to drain entirely from his body. That usually took a while.

"¡God, I can't believe we saved your ass!" said Megumi, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"¡Ah, yes! ¿How could I forget? The time I saved myself through you guys. Because of my own teachings you were able to do that. One more thing I should thank myself for. But you know, some things I simply cannot do."

They would have laughed if Gojo's expression hadn't been so hard to read at the time, but he never lacked that mischievous smile. You were already used to his phrases with double meanings, although the issue was rather to find out what other meaning they had.

"¿You didn't buy us presents?" Yuji asked worriedly, putting a hand to his chest. possibly thinking of the twenty things she had asked Gojo for Christmas that he wouldn't see under the tree.

"That I did, that I did." he nodded, taking a sip of champagne. "I put together this little affair all by myself... And only me, the best, can make it be better. So, I'll be taking that credit." all of a sudden his gaze met yours, and there it stayed. "But when it comes to bringing people back from oblivion, that I cannot take the credit for."

Maki's head turned towards you. Everyone was watching you, waiting for you to answer Gojo. Maki didn't know why, and she didn't care either, but your eyes were even redder and waterier, and it wasn't just from the wine and exhaustion.

"¡Stop with the bullshit or I'll go berserk on your ass!" Maki threw her napkin to the side and stood up from her chair making a loud noise as she leaned over the table, piercing Satoru with her gaze.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect that reaction. ¡Come on you guys! ¿Don't you wish you could share some tuna filled onigiri with your friend?"

"Satoru, stop. I'm begging you." Yuta looked at him with pleading eyes as he immediately ran over to your chair and placed both hands over your shoulders.

You were frozen in your spot, looking Gojo dead in the eye, brows raised and a bone dry mouth. You tried to reach for a glass of anything but your vision went fuzzy for a second there. Then, you felt a gentle grip on your wrist as someone put a glass of water in your hand. It was Megumi.

"Here, drink slowly." his voice was faint, you let him help you pour the liquids down your throat as Yuta grabbed a napkin to dry the corner of your mouth.

'He saw me, of course' you thought 'He saw me reciting the poem to Toge, but- ¿Why is he doing something this cruel? This was supposed to be special.'

"Stop with the sick joke." Megumi gave Gojo a death glare, but he didn't stop. "¿Remember that time Yuji died and came back?"

"¡Toge isn't dead you asshole!" Megumi blew up in his face, and Yuji stepped between him and Satoru, trying to de-escalate the situation.

"Yuta... I don't feel so well." you told him with beads of sweat running down your face. Maki, Yuta and Fushiguro still arguing in the background.

"¡I gave you a surprise didn't I!" Gojo screamed at everyone, while Yuta picked you up bridal style to take you to your room. "¿You are taking her away? ¡Great! Your surprise is on the other side of that door."

Yuta came to a halt when you pleaded Gojo in between sobs to stop talking and looked down at your face. You were a crying mess now. He didn't know it, but you had tried tonight to make some sort of connection, guide Toge back with your voice, and you couldn't. You just couldn't do it tonight, and Satoru's delusional disorder was another thing you couldn't handle. The room was in complete silence as your grief poured out your mouth and your body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears. "Once I put Y/N to bed and she's calmed down, I'll come back to leave you sitting on that chair for at least the next five years." Yuta spat his words at Gojo with his back still turned to him and then continued to walking towards the door.

"¡Wait, you need help to open up!" Maki said running towards the door, and once she did she stood behind to let Yuta walk out the room, but something stopped him and he could not continue. With your head buried in his chest you heard him speak to Gojo one more time. "I'm- going to kick your ass... anyway."

Opening your eyes slowly, you turned your head and your sight was met by a lined sheet of notebook paper with a question written in black ink.

'¿Is this the correct door?'

Still with Yuta's arms around your shoulders, you pushed the notebook away from your face and found Toge looking at you with a trembling lip, and a sea of tears falling down his cheeks. You weren't really sure if you were breathing or not, you couldn't say a single word. Your eyes were wide open, your mouth was hanging, and your body trembled nervously.

Not even Satoru, clapping in the background like an egomaniac, was enough to make the group snap out of that painfully hopeful vision. It was real though, and Satoru had to stop clapping when Yuji looked at him with an expression on his face that let him know they had gotten the point. Yuta realized that you were now standing completely on your own and took a few steps back leaving you alone with Toge to stand behind you, along with the rest.

Toge placed his hand on your hip to pull you closer to him, gazing at you with a yearning expression.

"¿Is this real? Please... Take away my pain before I-"

You hadn't finished talking when Toge had already taken off his oxygen mask to connect his lips with yours. Reality faded while your mouths ate each other in unison, and you became oblivious to the world around you. He broke the kiss suddenly and brought his hand up to cup your cheek. You wasted no time, nestling into his hand as you helped him put the mask back in place, feeling all his warmth radiate through the palm of his hand. He wanted to give you more and you felt it in your flesh, but you understood, as he was telling you with his eyes that he was simply too weak at the moment. And your friends were in the room.

"Good to have you back, Inumaki."

Yuta's voice was the first to rise. The two of you turned to see the smiling group that had been looking at you all this time. Yuji cried as much as when he saw the end of Titanic.

"¡Ha! ¿See? ¿What did I tell ya? ¡Merry Christmas everyone!"

Gojo came into view, holding his cell phone up in the air to catch everyone's expressions.

"¿You videotaped it? ¿What are y-?"

While Yuji tried to snatch Gojo's cell phone from his hands, Maki was trying to hold back her tears of happiness as best she could from her place next to Megumi, who was simply staring at the two of you, still puzzled, but it didn't take long for him to show a satisfied look.

2 months later

Japan came to life, like some dreamy spell.

Some say the spring season is a strong symbol of rebirth, but Toge still had a long way to go to get his voice back.

The information that remained on his side regarding the memory of the day he had erased your memory was almost extinct in his mind. It was very painful, and it was not easy at all having to review the incident that Shoko had called 'Incident 0'.

Toge had attacked the end of the path that you had created, which belonged to him, so to understand many things, many had to be explained again.

The first warm days of the spring season were refreshing. Thanks to what was left of the winter, the two of you had already shared enough cold nights without being able to separate from each other.

Not much time had passed, and the lack of strength and stamina had greatly affected Toge's spirits. That's why you waited for this time of year that refreshed both the air and people's minds. In that way, Toge could start to improve and begin the process of coming to terms with his body.

He wanted, and couldn't wait, to ask you out the day the school garden began to bloom. He still had to take care of himself, especially since his mind sometimes played tricks on him and seemed to get confused between one event and another, awakening erratic attitudes from time to time. It was not easy, but you tried to supplant the painful moments by creating new memories from the heart.

Before Toge is able to train again and can truly use his technique, it will be many more months, maybe a whole year, but he could speak a few words here and there when he was alone with you. They were nothing more than mere whispers in your ear, single words.

It didn't hurt the two of you at all.

Toge surprised you one day when she said the word "love" and pointed his finger at you, as your bodies lay entwined on his own bed. That gave him quite a bit of hope that in the future the two of you might actually be able to speak a little more fluently with each other.

He had loved being able to tell you all the things he never dared, being in your domain. The sound of his voice speaking more than only one word, even if you both were trapped in a dark cave of despair... You had given him a voice, and he did not intend to lose it for the world.

Still he had you, as he always had, and you had him too.

A few days before the beginning of spring, the humidity in the air and the scent of something new turned the two of you into one.

You claimed each other completely.

That night Toge slept snuggling his head against your breasts, and his hand rested on that place he longed for so much. No skirt, no stockings in between. Where his skin ended, yours began.

It was hard for you to believe the little argument you had had between looks and gestures, just to see who would sleep on top of whom, but you left him win. You would never say no to him, not on that night, and you wouldn't for the rest of your life.

With the first bloom, Toge wasted no time asking you to choose a day you would like to have a picnic with him, and so you did. The condition was that you would have to wear the same dress as last Christmas, because that night you had told him that you had worn that dress just for him and that you had never worn it before. You couldn't have looked more beautiful that night, just for him. You stayed true, even though he couldn't see you. It had made his skin boil, and he remembered how he couldn't take his eyes off you. But Toge had fainted shortly after Gojo's lousy surprise operation. Everyone was ecstatic at his return, but the excitement had been short-lived because he, well, he had just woken up from a coma, and no one had told Shoko that it had happened.

Gojo was to blame for that of course, but Toge he felt like he had ruined it by being careless and scaring you once again. The panic everyone felt was indescribable, thinking that his return had only been temporary. But he woke up hours later, without being able to save himself from Shoko's grumbling, who almost did not let Gojo see the end of the tunnel as far as scolding was concerned.

So that was the only condition. That you got ready for him, just as you had that night. You cooked all his favorite dishes and you both devoured them under the same tree spot that you used to practice with Yuta, which was kind of funny. Now it was his turn to eat all your delicacies.

Tilting your head up, enjoying the slight warmth of the sun's rays as you sat on the blanket, you felt Toge's hand on yours. You smiled for a long time with your eyes closed, knowing he was already looking at you when you finally met his gaze. Toge felt a slight static, perhaps from the breeze, or the natural energy emanating from one another due to the contact between the two of you.

After a while, your expressions became somewhat serious, and despite continuing to rejoice in each other's presence, there was something that separated the two of you. Toge motioned for you to get up from the spot and you nodded. You watched him very carefully while you remained somewhat restless standing on the blanket. This time, Toge instructed you to close your eyes and extend both hands to the front. 'I can not keep going like this.' you thought to yourself, dying of anxiety. Toge took a deep breath, approaching you once more, holding the book of romantic poems you had last read to him a year ago. Letting out a shaky breath, Toge rested the book in your hands, and when he looked up he saw that you were smiling quietly, still with your eyes closed, while a single tear fell down your face. "I'm pregnant." "M-mary...rry me." You two whispered to each other at the same time.

With nothing but tears in his eyes, Toge motioned for you to open the book, and you did so carefully. After turning the page with the title embodied in small cursive letters, your heart fully stopped. Toge had carved a heart into the book, creating a small space in which there was a shiny, thin white gold ring.

Toge took you by surprise when his arm came around your body and pulled you towards him, kissing the corner of your mouth with half-lidded eyes, as he looked through your eyes at the life you were carrying inside you in that very moment. You clung to Toge's shirt, as if you still couldn't believe that something like that could be real after all, turning your head to brush your lips against his cheek. You couldn't get enough of your own little moment, drowning in mutual adoration. In Toge's mind you had created something more powerful than any power or technique that could return to him, and you couldn't wait to blossom endlessly alongside him, like that blue sea of nemophilas that never stopped growing inside you.

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ladyartemesia · 4 years ago

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Since I'm in love with your writings and your taste in reading too. I know that your favorite is Brother's best friend or Best friend's brother, I would like for you to recommend me some of them please ❤️❤️🙏

꧁Brother’s Best Friend꧂

Clandestine by @junghelioseok is fantastic. Jeon Jungkook is the best friend of the reader’s slightly younger brother. He’s sexy and charismatic and DEFINITELY knows what he wants. The growth of his (clandestine) connection with the reader is utterly delicious. This one made me laugh and swoon.

Guarded by @xjoonchildx is basically legendary in my book. The lady in this story is not only Hoseok’s best friend’s sister—she is also his BOSS’s sister and by boss I mean mafia. This is the first installment in Ana’s amazing Rap Line Mafia Universe and it delivers on every level. Hoseok is tasked with protecting the boss’s sister after she is being threatened by sinister forces unknown and sparks fly.

Plums and Melons by @winetae is THAT FIC. The fic I just daydream about sometimes. It’s a fic about two people caught hard in eachother’s gravity. It’s so sexy and cerebral and the main characters are so hot. Jimin is just a guy trying to live his life, but whatever is brewing between him and his best friend’s sister is driving him insane. He wants to be a good guy, but she just isn’t playing fair.

Are You Sure? by @cutechim is such a swoon-worthy and touching piece of wonderful. I tell you I was MOVED. This is beautiful and emotional and EXTREMELY satisfying. Taehyung’s best friend has a sister who he has always secretly adored. When she comes to him and asks for some intimate experience, he isn’t strong enough to say no—not when she’s everything he ever wanted.

Drivers License and Detour by @gyukult is sweet and tender and just a fantastic coming of age story. The reader has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Park Jimin, for almost all of her youth... but what is going on in his head?It’s a tender story that really warms the heart. AND I am happy there is more coming. I would read about these two all day. She published the second part and oh my gosh it’s so incredibly perfect I could scream. This was just such a beautiful journey every step of the way.

Milestone by @1kook is probably one of the first brother’s best friend BTS fics I read and it is amazing. I adore it so much. Because Jungkook is your brother’s best friend he is there for every milestone in your life. But you’ve both grown up now and neither of you are kids anymore. It’s hot. Like really hot. Dialogue and set up are so sharp and fast paced I really loved every second.

Young God by @njssi is scorching hot smut with complicated feelings and warm revelations. You think it’s going somewhere and then it goes somewhere else and honestly it is so awesome the whole time. Jungkook was always your brother’s sweet little friend, but he’s returned determined to show you that he is all grown up.

Tease by @caiuscassiuss floored me. I loved it so much! I spent the whole story just squealing happily about everything. This story has it all. It’s scorching hot. It’s enemies-to-lovers. It’s Taehyung. Jungkook’s sister and Kim Taehyung do not get along AT all—so she decides to bring him to his knees by making him desperate for her. It’s a wild and completely awesome ride.

Wasabi by @ironicarmy is a classic. Hobi is a bad boy that Namjoon vehemently refuses to let near his precious baby sister. But love is too strong a force and soon Hobi and the clever object of his desire decide that some things are worth fighting for. It’s a really sweet story of facing challenges and relying on the people you love. Warm and fuzzy feelings abound, but it’s also super hot.

Forbidden by @btssmutgalore is a masterwork blueprint for this trope. Hobi is a carefree player who falls brutally for Taehyung’s sister. They two of them eventually give in to a VERY steamy series of secret encounters and feelings get very involved. This is hot, suspenseful, and emotionally satisfying. Excellent characterizations as well.

Prohibido by @personasintro is an office AU with a twist. Namjoon is not only her brother’s best friend, he is also her boss and the two of them have incredible chemistry. Watching them pretend that they’re not insanely attracted to each other is so endearing and hot. Reader is convinced her feelings are one-sided. It’s lovely and fun. Definitely a slow burn, but worth it.

Strawberry Kisses by @kimnjss is a fic that I devoured in one sitting and then re-read again immediately. Jeon Jungkook is a player who matches with a girl on a dating app and has no idea she is the sister of his revered mentor and close friend, Min Yoongi. I laughed. I cried. I GASPED OUT LOUD a bunch. It was a whole thing. This is a hybrid social media/written AU and it’s pretty much perfect.

Tempestuous by @ppersonna is so special to me because it was written at the very beginning of my friendship with Lindy. She was looking for requests and I was quick to request my favorite trope. Lindy is bae now and this fic she wrote is marvelous. You are forced to spend the weekend in the same house with your sexy arch-rival Taehyung who just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. Naturally snarky hotness ensues.

Off Limits @floralseokjin is basically a famous entry when it comes to this trope. It’s a Jin fic and Miss Jordan writes EXQUISITE Jin characterizations. There is a hint of mistaken (or unknown) identity in this one which makes it even more fun. Sparks fly between you and a devilishly charming Kim Seokjin at a party. You don’t find out until later who he really is—and why he’s off limits.

And finally I’ll recommend my own Brother’s Best Friend fic All I Want for Christmas is You featuring a charming Taehyung who falls for Jimin’s sister. Jimin basically blackmails his best friend into escorting his sister to several holiday galas. Tae and Jimin’s sister have never gotten along, but they soon discover (through multiple pranks and mishaps) that love (and desire) are out of their control.

Not Your Fairytale by @yeojaa is incredibly sweet and tender. Erin really does emotion so well and her Yoongi characterization is honestly so nuanced and brilliant. This story is about a girl who had her heart broken and instead of canceling the cake tasting she scheduled with her philandering ex-fiancé, she wrangles the tsundere best friend of her brother to pretend to be him.

Brother’s Best Friend by @bts-hyperfixation is a short and sweet moment between two people who have been fighting their attraction for each other. It is so hot and delicious I tell you. You’re in trouble and the person you call is probably the person you shouldn’t—but you aren’t the only one willing to take a risk tonight.

Off Limits by @kaddiiction will break your heart and put it back together again. This one was recommended to me by a reader and I cannot thank them enough. It is fantastic. Jimin is a player but he crosses the line when he begins a liaison with his best friend’s sister. Still there is far more to this situation—and Jimin—than meets the eye.

꧁Best Friend’s Brother꧂

Orectic by @gimmesumsuga is one of my favorite fics of all time. It is a hybrid fic where the reader is a cat hybrid and Hoseok is the brother of her best friend who comes to stay with her while her bestie is away... It is so tender yet SO HOT. I’m telling you I cannot even keep count of how many times I have read it.

Theophany by @ilikemesometaetaes was a JOURNEY. It made me so emotional. Like the story centers around art a lot, but let me tell you, this fic IS art. Jimin is just the man of my whole dreams in this piece as the brother of a former best friend with an irresistible allure. It is a coming of age story with the most beautiful twist. AND THE LOVE SCENE—oh my gosh I screamed it was so good. This story is just so so good.

Run by @neonlights92 is Jungkook’s story in the mafia universe I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH. You don’t have to read the whole series to understand it (BUT YOU SHOULD). This is best friend’s brother meets arranged marriage and honestly it’s fantastic. Jungkook doesn’t do love and affection and being forced into an arranged marriage with his sister’s friend who has always had a crush on him is just a blow to his freedom... or is she? GAH! This story—like all the stories in this universe—is superb.

The Magic to Happiness by @readyplayerhobi is a best friend’s brother meets teachers AU meets Hogwarts AU. Now... all of those are top tier tropes so finding them together is like winning the lottery. Hobi was once just a skinny kid who had obvious heart eyes for you (his sister’s best friend) but now he’s tall and confident and really attractive. The magic of this story is evident in every word of the sweet relationship that blooms between these two.

Problem with You by @monvante is so sweet and kind of hilarious. I giggled so much! Jungkook is your best friend’s brother and he is kind of too perfect and too handsome and he’s always around and you hate him and he hates you... Right? When you cross paths with the infuriating Jeon Jungkook at your best friend’s wedding, you discover that you may have been wrong about a great many things.

Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist is so so SO fabulous. I was obsessed with this (now complete) series from the very first installment. You and Tae are besties who have know each other since you were little kids, but lately Tae’s older brother Jin has been lookin mighty fine. Just how far can you push him till he breaks. And if he breaks.... what then?

This list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive. I just used it to compile some of my FAVORITES in this particular trope.

➪ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND FICS I SHOULD CHECK OUT PLEASE COMMENT (seriously please I love this trope so much) AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THIS LIST.

➪ Newer Additions are in PINK!

➪ Newest Additions are in BLUE

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sdwolfpup · 2 years ago

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Last Lines of your WIPs meme

@kiraziwrites tagged me in the Last Lines of your WIPs meme, and I have.....quite a few JB WIPs to choose from here so here's a selection of the ones I am most likely to write.

The combination of it all—his secret smiles, his genial jokes, the way his face would light up when he noticed her enter a room—made her feel as though she was constantly in zero gravity, never quite able to find her anchor under his intoxicating attention. (From my solarpunk AU, Our souls lie down in the grass)

“I thought you just wanted my services?” (from this Lannisters on a roadtrip AU I've been struggling with for weeks)

What if she got cold and her nipples poked out? She couldn't just walk around with her arms crossed over her chest the entire time. (from an AU where they're both dog show handlers who have to share a room that I recently reread and liked where it was going, so I'm going to finish it)

Brienne feels a flutter of want already beginning to billow inside her, like a sail finding the wind. She's missed him in her office, too. (from a Working 9 to 5 sequel lovingly referred to as 'Take Your Naked Jaime To Work Day')

We will continue the rest of this discussion later,” he told her and she nodded and watched him go, wondering what truth he had been about to tell her. (from a book canon post-Long Night JB fic I have been eager to get back to)

“Embarking on a brand new career as a clown,” he said to Arya. (HFOG short sequel when Brienne retires because retiring F1 drivers have been ON MY MIND sigh)

“Fuck that,” Jaime said with a feral determination. “And fuck you, too,” he added, before stepping into the light. (from a book canon AU that has been haunting me for two years that is honestly what I hope to finish next once I finish the solarpunk AU)

"I want to meet you as you are." (from the last story in my sex worker Brienne series)

There is a growing vine of dread beginning to wrap its way around her insides, but she's trying to starve it with affirmations that everything is going to be fine and Jaime and I are just very good friends. (From a Christmas mod AU that I'd love to get done by December this year where JB are friends & roommates and she invites him to go back home with her for Christmas. Shenanigans ensue.)

Someday she expects she won't be so greedy for him, won't have trouble breathing when he's doing his morning stretching routines in just his underwear, but for now she is and she does so it's up to her to be the responsible one tonight and not let Jaime convince her to disappear into a dark room for just a minute. Whatever Olenna would do to them when she inevitably finds out isn't worth it. (from the Unicorn Incident sequel I want to write)

Tagging anyone who is interested! I'm not sure who's following me who's actively writing fic anymore, hee.

#my writing eyes are much bigger than my writing stomach #to mangle a colloquialism #but i am really excited about writing all ten of these 😂😭#(as well as a couple I haven't even started yet)#also: turns out I REALLY like Brienne POV lmao #my fic #jaime x brienne

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reidingmelodies · 4 years ago

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The Luckiest

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Category: Fluff Word Count: 2k Includes: Dad Spencer, Children, Pregnancy A/N: I wrote this one for @anxiousblanketqueen’s birthday challenge: Happy Birthday, Jill! ♡ I hope you have an absolutely amazing day!! Main Masterlist

“What’s this, Daddy?” Spencer turned, eyes finding his daughter holding the scrapbook Penelope made for your anniversary a few months prior. The book held your most cherished memories: from your first meeting to your first dates, to your marriage and the birth of your children.

“Auntie P made that for us, bug,” he explained, bending down to clear the pile of blocks on the floor to make way for her little feet. She bounded towards him, the book dangling from her arms while she climbed next to him on the couch.

Big brown eyes similar to his own looked up at him, her little lip sticking out in a pout as she pushed the book towards him in a silent question.

She was only five, but she was fully aware that he was incapable of saying no to her; after all, she learned the puppy dog pout from its creator: his wife.

“Come here, love,” he situated his daughter on his lap, laying a gentle kiss on her hairline before opening the book to the first page.

“Is that Mommy?” her fingers moved to trace along the first photo, a still of you and Spencer at Derek and Penelope’s wedding seven years prior. Your eyes were focused off frame, gaze solely fixated on the couple’s first dance, but Spencer’s were glued to your every move.

It was your very first meeting, years of Penelope trying to set Spencer up with her high school best friend had failed up until that point. Plans to go to bars were halted by last minute cases in different cities, parties in Penelope’s apartment were missed because you had a date lined up, lunch dates with Penelope where she hoped you would finally meet Spencer were ruined because he wouldn’t leave his desk.

Years and years of trying to get you two to meet, and all it took was her and Derek getting married.

If she knew it would have been that easy, she would have gotten hitched years ago.

As luck would have it, you and Spencer had somehow narrowly avoided each other during wedding planning as well. It was as though the universe had something against you, as if all the signs were screaming that you weren’t meant to be. But then, on the night the stars aligned for Derek and Penelope the same happened for you, your pre-planned seating arrangement leading you directly into Spencer’s arms and proving the universe wrong.

It was that night that two perfect strangers became stakeholders in one another’s lives, the night when two hearts found the piece that had been missing for too long. Neither of you knew it then, but a few shared conversations and lingering glances over dinner were enough to change your lives.

“Yeah,” Spencer whispered, smiling at your daughter. “That’s Mommy”.

And like their words summoned your presence, the front door opened and you walked in, your two year old son’s hand gripped around two of your fingers while your purse hung from your free arm.

“Mommy!” your daughter jumped from her position on Spencer’s lap to wrap her arms around your legs, your body bending to place a series of kisses against her head.

“Hi, Sweet Pea! Did you have a good time with Daddy?”

“Mm-hmm!” you watched her pigtails bounce as she twirled, her hand moving to hold her brother’s as she walked him towards a tower in the center of the room. “We played with blocks and read books and looked at a pretty picture of you!”

“Wow! What picture was it?” but alas, your question fell short on your daughter’s ears, her attention long gone and instead focused on teaching her brother the right way to build a tower.

And honestly, as far as you were concerned that was perfectly okay. Any moment they were getting along without tears or screams was a win in your book.

“We were looking at the album Penelope made us,” Spencer’s voice carried over the sound of your children’s giggles and you swiftly moved to sit next to him on the couch, thigh to thigh while your head rested against his shoulder. “We made it through the first picture before you guys came home”.

You placed a gentle kiss against his shoulder where you laid, eyes scanning the photo in question. It was one of your favorite nights, but it paled in comparison to the picture on the next page.

“Remember that night?” you asked, pointing at the photo you had been eyeing. It was a blurry mess to put it lightly, Spencer’s hand holding the disposable camera at an odd angle while you attacked his cheeks with kisses until a trail of lipstick was left in your wake.

You were young, in love, and inseparable- a blurry photo was a small price to pay for being with him.

“How could I forget,” Spencer chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he examined the picture, “I got off the jet at 11 PM and headed to your place for a midnight picnic. We were only dating for three weeks and JJ thought it was weird to go to your place so late, but I didn’t care. Did you think it was weird?”

You snuggled closer to him, the hitch at the end of his question cluing you into the fact that he was nervous you did. “If you didn’t come over I most certainly would have went to your place- I hated being away from you, I still do now”.

You were rewarded with a kiss to your palm before Spencer continued to flip through the pages in a comfortable silence, your life together thus far being pieced together with every new picture.

From movie nights cuddled up on the floor of Derek and Penelope’s living room, to office holiday parties where you walked around with your pinkies intertwined, to stolen kisses at happy hour and café dates where you both sported espresso foam mustaches.

With the next flip of the page, you watched as your smiles grew wider in each photo with the addition of a ring on your left hand. There were pictures of Spencer down on one knee at your favorite park thanks to Penelope’s hidden vantage point behind a set of trees a few feet away.

The sky was a cerulean blue, yellow and pink tulips in full bloom at your feet, but in that moment, with Spencer kneeling in front of you and the most beautiful declarations of love falling from his lips nothing was visible but him.

Another flip of a page and yet another moment when nothing mattered but Spencer was on full display- your wedding day. His arms were looped around your waist as you danced in front of your family and friends, your smiles the widest they’d ever been. The night was filled with love filled glances and silent assertions of love fit for two in a room bursting with joy, each and every one caught on camera thanks to Penelope’s dedication to capturing one of her favorite love stories in action.

A series of selfies followed in the next few pages, each one a picture you had sent Penelope during your honeymoon as proof you weren’t always locked away in your hotel room. Spencer was sporting a sunglasses tan in each photo while you were sporting a smirk, each picture reminding you of the vacation that gave you one of your favorite gifts yet nine months later: your daughter.

You looked up from the album to glance in her direction, your lips curling into a smile as you watched her separate the blocks into color coded piles much to her younger brother’s amusement. With each passing day she reminded you more and more of Spencer, and it was by far one of your favorite journeys to witness.

Your focus shifted back to the book in Spencer’s hands, weekly progress photos of your stomach’s growth (which Spencer was determined to capture in all its glory) gracing the pages along with ultrasounds, memories from your baby shower, and pictures of Spencer’s hands constantly flitting over your lower belly. His head rested gently on your middle in each one, his face the picture of happiness as he whispered bedtime stories and facts about space, completely oblivious to everything but you and your daughter.

You watched as the baby you had spent months dreaming about came to life in pictures, her features the perfect mixture of you and Spencer from the moment she was placed in your hands. With each passing picture the bags under both of your eyes grew bigger, but your smiles grew wider. Images of her firsts graced the pages: the first time she sat up, the first time she ate solid foods, the first time she said dada (and the tears in Spencer’s eyes when he heard it), her first steps, her first day of school.

And then one made way for two, your son joining the midst of photos and bringing an endless amount of love and joy to your family. Much like your daughter, he reminded you of Spencer: he was inquisitive- curious eyes always studying his surroundings, his hand always finding comfort in yours just like his father.

Pictures of his firsts graced the pages much like your daughter’s, except this time the first time he sat up he was accompanied by a beaming sister, when he said mama for the first time it was you who was in tears, and when he took his first steps he walked straight into Spencer’s open arms.

The book was a picture-perfect testament to your love, one of your most prized possessions, but there was one thing missing.

“I love the life we built together,” Spencer whispered in your direction, his fingers tracing your side as he thought about how lucky he was. How lucky was he that he went from a man destined to live a solitary life to a man with a wonderful wife and two children made from love?

“I love it, too,” you murmured as your hand moved to reach for your purse, “but there’s one thing we’re missing”.

You watched as Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes scanning the empty pages at the end of the book. “I know the pictures are a little out of date, we can order some more this weekend to fill the empty pages though”, he stated as his gaze found yours to see if that was the answer you were looking for.

“We definitely can,” you nodded, removing an item from your purse and unsticking the scrapbook pages to place it in the middle. Once you were satisfied with its placement, you adjusted the top sheet before holding both of Spencer’s hands in yours, “but we can start with this”.

The previously blank page was now the home of your very first ultrasound photo for your third baby, a surprise you had confirmed earlier that morning at your doctor’s appointment. You watched as Spencer’s eyebrows shot up, his face breaking into a smile while his eyes filled with tears.

“Really?” his voice was so soft, you were sure you would have missed it if you weren’t sitting directly next to him.

“Really, really,” you confirmed, your left hand moving to grasp his jaw as you pulled his face closer to yours.

“Are you excited?” you whispered, fully aware that the answer was yes but craving confirmation.

With your question, a tear escaped his lash line, trailing down his cheek and making its way to a beaming smile that rivaled the ones you had seen in the scrapbook.

He nodded, at a complete loss for words as he closed the gap between you and let his feelings out in a kiss. It was a kiss filled to the brim with love, happiness, and appreciativeness.

And in that moment, there was only one coherent thought on his mind as he listened to his children’s giggles in the background and felt the weight of your love against his lips: How lucky was he that he went from a man destined to live a solitary life to a man with a wonderful wife and three children made from love?

The luckiest man alive, that was for sure.

***

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can-youimagine · 3 years ago

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Work In Progress Chapter Thirty-Five

Summary: After leaving the BAU, you promised you would never go back. But then, you meet your replacement. Your genius, caring, loving replacement, and you can’t stop yourself from being pulled back into that world.

Chapter TW: panic attack from reader, mention of case from reader's past unsub death

Word Count: 705

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

For the first time since you joined the team, you are left alone with Emily. Well, you’re not entirely alone. She sits in the boardroom with you while Hotch glances over at you from the main area of the precinct.

“I hate feeling like a toddler,” you comment.

“Yeah, I noticed that he’s been keeping a closer eye on you. What happened?”

You shrug. “There are quite a few stipulations on my return.”

“And you broke one of the rules?”

“In my defense, I didn’t know it wasn’t his rule.”

“Oh, so you were fine breaking a Hotch rule?”

“Of course.”

She chuckles. “You’re a braver woman than I.”

“Maybe so, but so far, I’ve never had him too mad at me. Honestly, this is the worst punishment he’s ever given me.”

She hums in response, obviously thinking about something, but you don’t know her well enough to ask what. Aaron walks into the boardroom. “Prentiss, Garcia got an address, we’ve got to go.”

“Yes, sir.”

“(L/N), you work with JJ for a statement. We think we’ve got him.”

You frown. This all seems entirely too easy. You’ve only been here for a day and a half. “You sure?”

“We’ve got his DNA at the crime scene.”

“Still, it seems a bit too easy.”

“That’s not for you to worry about.”

You nod. “Yes, sir.”

His glare tells you that you’re treading a bit too close to the edge.

“Stay safe.”

His gaze softens but not enough to tell you that you are out of the woods. You aren’t entirely sure what you did this time, but you’re sure you’ll hear about it tonight.

However, when the team comes back, without a suspect, those thoughts are pushed away. You and JJ share a look before Hotch speaks up. “We’ll be leaving in the morning. I need the two of you to give a statement. Suicide by cop.”

You nod. JJ luckily has a statement prepared, just needs to fill in the names.

“I’ll give it,” you say, already making your way to the reporters that have already gathered outside.

“Good luck.”

You mutter a short, “Thanks,” before opening the door.

“The suspect, Carl-”

“Agent (Y/N) (L/N)?” a voice calls, startling you. “Have you returned to the FBI?”

You stiffen but continue your statement. You barely manage to make it to the end before someone yells, “Agent (L/N), is there any news on the Dayton Butcher?”

The name alone is enough to cause you to panic. Luckily, you make it inside the precinct doors before you start to cry, scaring most of the officers. Spencer, despite his poor athletic skills, is the first to reach you. He wraps his arms around you before pulling you into his chest. “I’m here. I’m here,” he whispers. “Everything will be okay.”

JJ is already reviewing the interview to see what set you off. When the rest of the team hears his name, they immediately know what happened. If you weren’t sitting in front of the door, you are quite certain that Morgan would already be out there.

Hotch joins you and Spencer on the ground. “(Y/N), that-” the words die on his tongue. You know it was out of line and unexpected. “I never would have sent you out there if I had known,” is what he settles on, and it still doesn’t seem like enough.

“C-can we go back?” you manage.

“Of course,” he assures you, standing up.

You aren’t entirely sure what happens next. You think you go to sleep at some point. When you wake up, you’re still in Spencer’s arms.

“Spence?”

“I’m here, dovie. It’s okay now.”

“The team is going out for dinner in thirty minutes if you want to join?”

“I think I just want to stay here.”

He nods. “I thought so. I’ll let them know we won’t be there.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry.”

He kisses your forehead. “You’re fine, (Y/N). I think there was a pizza place on the corner. Want something from there?”

You nod. “I think I’m going to take a bath. I feel gross.”

“Take it easy tonight.” He kisses you one last time before heading out the door. “I’ll be right back.”

#criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader

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agent-whiskeys-sweetheart · 3 years ago

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Meant To Be (iii)

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: After meeting Garcia you make quick work of helping with the case, desperate to prove yourself to Hotch. Once the two of you help the team wrap everything up it’s time for them to return home. Which also means it’s time for you and Hotch to talk. One on one.

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter.

Word Count: 5,288

A/N: I wanna say I’m super happy you guys are enjoying this series cause honestly I’m having a lot of fun writing it! I love you all dearly. (If you’re just now finding this series, that’s perfectly alright! I’m glad you’re here! Feel free to catch up and enjoy the rest of the story. Here’s a link to Part 1 and Part 2 of Meant To Be.)

The elevator ride to the bottom floor of the building was quick, allowing you to make your way to Garcia’s office in a matter of minutes. There was a plaque up next to the door, indicating that you were in the right place. Taking a moment to steady yourself you exhale before knocking on the door. A voice on the other side tells you to come in so you do. Around you are dozens of impressive looking monitors, all of which are doing something different. On top of the long L-shaped desk there were several small trinkets and toys, bringing a sort of life into the dark room. The woman sitting in front of you spins around in her chair to look at you, a quick flash of confusion on her face. She looks extremely kind and everything about her appearance makes you want to smile.

“Hello. My name is Y/N L/N. Are you Penelope Garcia?”

“Yes, I am. What can I do for you?” Once you’re sure you’re in the right place you step forward to shake her hand. She stands so that you are both on the same level now, shifting awkwardly.

“Sorry to barge in like this. Everything has gone pretty fast this morning. I’m a new agent for the BAU. Today is my first day. The rest of the team just left on a case and SSA Hotchner asked me to stay behind and help from here.” Her face lights up with a bright smile.

“Oh, that’s awesome! It’s really nice to meet you! Please come in, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.” With this, she pulls another chair up to the desk and then sits back down in her own. “I didn’t actually know we had any new agents joining us. That being said, welcome! I’m almost always here by myself so the company will be nice. You and I can get to know each other.” You nod with a smile, watching her as she continues what she was doing. There are several different tabs open across the screens with loads of information that she seems to be compiling. When she sees your incredulous face she laughs.

“I know, it’s a lot. I’m just trying to get as much preliminary information as I can to send to the team. That’s what you’ll be helping me with. We collect research, data, important records. Anything they need to find out, we provide. Kind of cool, right?” Remaining silent, you nod. Upon seeing this, Garcia stops typing for a moment. “I know it may not seem as exciting as field work but it’s still very important. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fun. I promise you won’t be bored.” Patting your knee, she continues typing and you watch carefully now. This is where you will be until the case is over so you intend to make the absolute best of it. Everyone on the team has their own special skills and now is the time to learn from Garcia.

“So what exactly are you looking for right now?”

“I am compiling a list of the victim’s friends and family, plus witnesses from the robberies who might be able to give us any information. This will give the others a clear list of where to go first. I’m also seeing what I can find about the people who were at the banks on the days of the robberies in case there’s anything useful they need to know. Financial troubles, criminal records, anything to possibly link the witnesses to one another.” Scooting your chair forward so you can see better, you lean an elbow on the desk.

“What can I help with?” You ask hopefully.

“Oh, I think that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve had someone down here and all they do is sit and look over my shoulder. Sorry, rambling. I can get you logged into a monitor here and it looks like the next thing on my list was looking into the victim’s workplace. Sound good?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She moves over quickly and gets a separate monitor opened so you can begin researching.

“We’ll probably do what research we can in the next twenty to thirty minutes and then we’ll call the team to tell them what we’ve found out.” With that, you make quick work of doing everything you can in the time you have. Even if it is the last thing you ever do, you will prove to Aaron Hotchner just how valuable a team member you are.

++++++++++

The jet takes off fairly soon once the team is onboard. They all stow their go-bags and begin settling in for the flight. It is going to be a longer one today so they are all preparing themselves for the journey. Aaron finds a seat near a far window where he sets the case file down in front of himself and begins reading. His mind is swimming with thoughts and he will do anything to quiet them. The scene plays out over and over in his head, the memory still painfully fresh. Why had he said those things? He was unnecessarily harsh and he is fully aware of this. Now the first memory you’ll have of starting your dream job will be your new boss treating you appallingly. What had even compelled him to speak to you that way? Seeing you had overwhelmed him. The way you looked when you came into his office for the first time. The way your hair framed your face, the light hopefulness in your eyes, the way you captivated him with your movements. Standing there, just feet away from him, you had looked just as beautiful as the first day he met you. God, why did he lie like that? How could he have said he didn’t recognize you when you had stayed in his thoughts more times than he would like to admit over the past year? All the emotions he felt at the mere thought of you made him nauseous and he had no way of understanding them. As badly as he felt for it, he knew that for the time being it would be best to let you work from the BAU headquarters.

“Hotch, are you okay?” JJ’s voice brings him quickly back to reality. The fact that she could see how deeply in thought he was makes him feel an odd sense of shame and he straightens in his seat.

“Of course, I’m fine.” With this, she goes back to her own seat. With a huff of exhaustion, Hotch continues reading. The cabin is silent for a time as the other team members sit reading their case files.

“So,” Morgan’s voice breaks the quiet. “What do we think of Y/N?” The mention of your name causes Hotch to perk up against his will.

“Well, I like her.” Emily is the first to chime in. “I know you guys all got to meet her before me but there’s just something about her. An inherent sweetness. I’m really excited to work with her.”

“Me, too,” JJ says next. “I thought she was kind and open. In this job, that kind of personality is hard to find. I just hope the things she sees doesn’t cause her to lose that. The world needs more kind people, not less. She seems tough though. I think she can handle it.”

“I totally agree,” Morgan adds, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “She’s got a little bit of fierceness in her but I like that. You’ve gotta be tough to do this job but she’s also sweet. That’s important too. Plus, that kid’s got the cutest smile. Kind of reminds me of my sisters.” At the mention of your smile, Hotch closes his eyes briefly trying to picture that smile directed at him. He quickly catches himself and looks back down at the file.

“Well, I can’t say I know her that well yet but she seems intelligent. She certainly has eagerness to learn. I think that will help her be successful. It’s very ... refreshing.” Spencer says with a small smile.

“I agree. Right off the bat she’s got a very likable energy,” Rossi begins letting himself trail off for a moment. “Although, I have to say there is something about her that is so familiar. I can’t quite place how I might know her though. Her name too, I recognize it. For a second I thought she recognized me too but I can’t be sure.” The rest of the team watches him for a moment as he tries to recollect how he knows you but he quickly comes up blank. “I’m sure I’ll think of it eventually. Nevertheless she seems like a good kid. I’m excited to see her at work. Just a shame we’ll all have to wait.”

Hearing this Aaron shifts in his seat, knowing that the comment is directed at him since he was the one that made you stay behind. He is suddenly very aware of the other team members looking at him.

“Yeah, Hotch. Why isn’t she here? I thought for sure you’d wanna see what she can do.” Derek locks eyes with Aaron, causing him to debate how to answer the question. All his life Hotch has worked to control his feelings and the way that they manifest so his face remains expressionless as he thinks for a short second.

“I think that for right now her time would be better spent helping Garcia and getting used to her new environment. I agree that she does seem very intelligent and more than capable. I would just like to speak with her one on one first before thrusting her into the high intensity atmosphere that comes with our line of work.” However, this answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Morgan’s curiosity.

“She told me when she came out of your office that you said you didn’t remember her. Is that true?” This continued line of questioning makes his blood begin to boil. Aaron Hotchner of all people knows that lies are what cause the foundations of trust to crumble. If he can’t be honest with himself, how can he expect to be honest with his team? And yet, he finds himself unable to expose his own misdeed.

“Yes, that is correct. We’ve had a lot of cases come and go in the last few years and no one should be expected to remember every interaction they have in that length of time. According to her it was only one day and it was a long time ago at that. I apologized to her and she understood. That is the end of it.”

“Look, I’m not passing judgement Hotch. I’m just saying I can understand why she was so hurt,” Hearing this causes his heart to clench. “She looks up to you. She didn’t even have to tell me that, I could just see it. You mentored her in a time that was very uncertain, when she had a lot to prove. She still has a lot to prove and I’m sure she thought that you would have her back and the first thing you tell her is that you don’t even remember who she is? I get it man, you’re under a lot of stress right now but she’s a part of your team. I just thought you of all people would be a little more sensitive than that.”

His words cut right through Aaron’s heart like a knife but before he has a chance to say anything the laptop screen in the center of the cabin lights up, revealing you and Garcia. Glad for a break from the tension the rest of the team members look toward the screen. With one last glance at Morgan, Hotch leans towards him. “We will discuss this later.” His voice is firm and dangerous but he pulls away to look at the laptop. “What did you find?” He directs at the two of you.

Seeing him causes you to straighten in your seat as you ready yourself to put on your most professional face. Garcia begins telling everyone what she was able to find out about the victim. She has significantly more information than you do but once she’s done she allows you to share what you found. The victim worked at a local grocery store but he had been previously employed at the bank where the robbery took place. The team begin building a rough profile based on the information. You listen closely to their analysis of the unsubs, making mental notes on what you might add to the profile. Before you have a chance to add anything, Hotch thanks the two of you for your work and hangs up. For a moment, you could swear you saw a hint of sadness when he looked at you but you were sure it was just a glitch on the screen.

“Sorry sweetpea. I could totally tell you wanted to add something. They can be pretty abrupt like that sometimes.” You simply give a small shrug. “Well, why don’t you tell me what it was? It’ll give you a little practice for building profiles.” She scoots to the edge of her chair, looking at you intently to which you give a small laugh.

“Well, as we know all of the unsubs are large burly men. The five of them could easily subdue the few weaker people that were present at each of the robberies and yet they chose to bring guns. I believe this shows that they feel a certain sense of inadequacy in their everyday lives. Despite their masculine appearance I would suspect they all have mediocre jobs where they are looked down upon or treated poorly. It’s possible that they all work at the same place but I would imagine they probably met somewhere else. Maybe a support group of some sort. The use of weapons gives them a sense of power over the victims that helps them live out their mass fantasy. The victim of the last crime scene was shot in the head which indicates some personal relationship between him and the unsub who pulled the trigger. That could be a good place to start.”

“Well, it definitely makes sense to me. Maybe we can start looking in to possible support groups for these type of men. Oh, and anyone that might possibly have had reason to kill our victim.” Garcia immediately begins typing and you scoot closer to her side.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the order from Hotch?” She laughs at this.

“Trust me, sweetheart. At the end of the day he’s gonna thank us for the head start. One thing to know about the boss man. He likes to see initiative but he also wants you to follow his exact orders. It’s a fine balance but once you figure out how to work the line, he’s gonna love you for it.” The thought of Hotch loving you for anything at all in the world makes your heart flutter. Almost instantly you stop that train of thought and berate yourself for even entertaining it.

“Well, I guess we better get started then.” The rest of the day goes smoothly. You and Garcia coordinate everything beautifully, finding a good amount of information that you save to send to Hotch at the most convenient time. The day seems to be over almost as quickly as it began and you thank Garcia before heading out to your car. The drive home seems to be much more monotonous than before. It seems like you’re back inside your apartment and stretched out on the couch before you can hardly blink. Rolling over, you reach for your phone which you had thrown on the coffee table. With a groan, you begin dialing your sister’s number. As much as today sucked there was no one in the world you’d rather vent to than your sister.

“Well hey there babe. I’ve been patiently awaiting your call. Give me just a minute to get sat down. I want to hear every last detail.” There are sounds of shuffling on the other side of the phone as she finds a seat. “Okay, I’m all good. Now, tell me about your first day at the BAU! Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”

“Yeah, not exactly,” You laugh. “It was kind of rough to be honest.” There is a moment of silence as you think how to begin.

“Okay. Start at the beginning, walk me through it.”

“Alright. Well, I got inside and I was honestly just in awe of being there, just getting to stand in that room. It felt like I was invincible. Derek Morgan was the first one to talk to me. He was just as charming as I remembered. Anyway, he introduced me to the rest of the team and we got to talk for a bit which was really nice, you know? From the get go I really felt like part of the team.”

“Now you know I hate to interrupt but all of this sounds great!”

“Yeah, well, that was the best part of the day and it didn’t last very long. After I met everyone I went up to Aaron Hotchner’s office to give him my paperwork. I’m sure you know by now that I was pretty excited to see him again, right? Well, when I told him how excited I was to be working with him again he told me that he didn’t actually know who I was. He completely forgot about me. I mean, I guess I get it. It’s been a year and a half and he meets a lot of people. Why would he remember me specifically?”

“Y/N, don’t invalidate your own feelings. What he said upset you and it’s okay to be hurt. That would have hurt my feelings too. You’re a really great person and he sucks for not thinking about you ever since he met you.” Hearing this, you can’t help but laugh a bit. Her ability to defend you no matter what always cheers you up.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I just wish he thought the same. Anyway, I gave him my paperwork so I could travel with the team. They got a case this morning and I was planning to go with them but for some reason Hotch made me stay behind even though I am cleared to be in the field. It just really bummed me out because I was super ready to get out there and start working but I got benched for my very first case. He had me stay with this girl named Garcia, she’s the team’s technical analyst. I mean, she’s really sweet and we worked super well together but I just wish I could have been out there doing the things that I spent seven years of my life training for.”

“I am so sorry. That sucks. I know how excited you were. Look at the bright side, this is only your first case. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to get out there and prove yourself. It’s all gonna work out.” Unable to keep from smiling, you roll over on your side.

“Thanks. I really hope you’re right.” Sensing the fact that you’re still upset she decides to help by changing the subject.

“So, who all did you meet today? I know you already knew a few of the team members but was there anybody new?”

“Yeah, Elle and Gideon are no longer there. I’m really sad I missed getting to work with them but the people I met seem really amazing. The first girl I met was named Emily Prentiss. She was really nice. The other was a guy named David Rossi.” When you finish your sentence there is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. You wait a minute for your sister’s response but there is nothing. Before you can ask what’s wrong she chimes in again.

“Did you say David Rossi?” There is a tone in her voice that you don’t recognize and it causes concern to stir in your stomach.

“Yeah, why? What’s up?” There is another moment of silence.

“It’s -- it’s nothing. I shouldn’t bring it up. You’ve already had a rough day.” As if she can sense your anxiety she continues. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I promise I’ll tell you later, okay? I just don’t think we should talk about it right now, that’s all.” As much as you want to pry you can tell that no matter how much you ask, you’re not getting the answer out of her. With a sense of unease you agree and try changing the conversation again. Once you’ve changed the topic to something other than work you can feel her ease again and the two of you talk for nearly 45 minutes. After a while you decide to call it a night and shortly afterwards you find yourself in bed. You hadn’t even realized how exhausted you were until your head hit the pillow. Your sleep is dreamless which you decide in the morning is probably a good thing.

++++++++++

The remainder of the case is spent hunkered down in Garcia’s office either doing frantic research or simply getting to know one another. In just a short while the two of you become very fast friends. You realize quickly that you share a lot of common interests and all of your conversations are endlessly fascinating. It also doesn’t take you very long to realize that you actually enjoy the work that you do with her. There is quite a bit of skill required to dig as deeply and accurately as the two of you do. It is a race against the clock to find everything you need in order to help the team and there is a certain level of excitement that comes with that. Of course you still wish you were out in the field but in the end you learn a lot and make a good friend along the way. The case ends rather succinctly with all five unsubs found and arrested with no more casualties along the way. It’s a good feeling, knowing that you helped to catch the bad guys and no one had to die for you to do so. The day the team is set to return you and Garcia head out for coffee before they show up, figuring that you deserve a little treat after all of your hard work. You make light conversation as you make your way back into the building just in time for the team to arrive. You watch them each make their way to their desks, setting down their bags and taking a moment to rest. Of course the last one to walk in is Hotch who heads straight up to his office, shutting the door behind him.

When you feel like it’s an appropriate time you make your way over to Morgan’s desk. Upon seeing you his lips crack into a wide smile.

“Well hey sweetheart! I have to say, you did awesome work on this case.” As he says this, he extends his hand for a high five which you quickly grant him. “I know it wasn’t easy having to sit out but you did great. I’m proud of you.” It takes everything in you not to blush.

“Thanks. I learned a lot and I made a good friend along the way.”

“Yeah, Garcia’s pretty great isn’t she?” He says with a knowing smile.

“She definitely is. She talks about you a lot, you know.”

“Oh, I know. Baby girl just can’t stop thinking about me. Not that I blame her, of course.” At this you lightly punch his arm.

“You are both such teases.” This makes Morgan laugh.

“We gotta keep things interesting.” He leans forward as though he’s about to start his paperwork but he quickly leans back to look at you. “Hey, now that I’m back we gotta go out for drinks tonight. Everyone else is already game so long as you are.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You confirm with a grin.

“Great. You know, I’d say I’m buying but I kind of feel like you owe me.” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I was trying to get some answers for you so I asked Hotch why he wouldn’t let you on the case and he royally chewed me out for it. In his defense I probably shouldn’t have asked in front of the rest of the team but that decision still just doesn’t sit right with me.” Morgan’s words mingle in your head. It doesn’t sit right with you either but it isn’t really your place to question your boss’ orders.

“I’m sorry he got upset with you. I do appreciate you defending me though. You’re my knight in shining denim.”

“Anytime kid. I’m happy to help.” Getting to talk to Morgan has almost instantly lifted your spirits. However, it doesn’t take long for your heart to drop into your stomach.

“Agent L/N. May I speak to you in my office please?” You hadn’t even noticed that Hotch had come out of his office until his voice drew your attention to him. With a quick look at Morgan, who gives you a reassuring glance, you push yourself off his desk and make your way over to where Hotch is standing. Once you’re at his side he extends a hand, allowing you to step inside first. He follows quickly, shutting the door behind him. “Please, have a seat.” He says, gesturing towards a leather couch on the far wall. As you begin to sit on one end he takes up residence on the other, his knee just inches away from yours. Once you’re both settled he focuses all of his attention on you. He doesn’t seem angry but you aren’t holding your breath. It’s best to just stay professional and speak with him earnestly.

“I’m glad to see you all back safely sir.” You begin. After the stress of the case, you want to make sure he knows that as hurt as you were by his previous decision you harbor no ill will towards him.

“Thank you. It’s not very often that cases end as well as this one did. You understand that, don’t you? This was a special circumstance.”

“Yes, I realize that. I’m just grateful that it did end happily even if it was just this once.” There is an intensity in the way he watches you.

“Good. I just want to make sure you fully know what to expect.”

“I do sir. I did the day that I applied for school. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Staying silent for a moment he nods as if in thought.

“I know before I left I said we would be able to talk. I’d like to learn a little bit more about you and from there I’ll be able to evaluate your abilities before taking you into the field. I know it wasn’t the decision you were hoping for but I hope you understand it nonetheless.”

“Of course. It’s not my place to question you and in the end I learned a lot from Garcia. Plus she was nice to work with.”

“Good. I’m very glad to hear that you were able to make the most of the situation.” He stops for a moment, his gaze relaxing. “I wanted to tell you how well you did on this case. A challenge was presented to you and you handled it with grace. The information you provided was incredibly helpful and your suggestions were very well thought out. I was very impressed.” The softness in his eyes as he praises you leaves a fluttering sensation in your stomach. Throughout the entirety of the case you had been so hell bent on proving yourself to him and hearing him say that you had done well made every hour of hard work worth it. As much as your heart is singing you have to remind yourself to be calm. Even though he is being kind to you now, he had made his feelings known to you during your first meeting. There is no reason to read into things. Clearly he doesn’t feel what you feel.

“Thank you sir. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I was left behind but I realized that I’m grateful to be here no matter what. I worked really hard to get here, to be doing this kind of work, and not everyone gets the chance to do what they’re truly meant to be doing. As heartbreaking as the outcome of this job usually is, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” With every word the two of you are locked into one another’s eyes. For a moment you can almost swear he is holding his breath.

“I appreciate that sense of purpose. I will always support my team but it makes it easier with members who are invested.”

“I am. Completely. I’m here. I know you haven’t gotten a real chance to see me work but please know that my heart is in this.”

“That was never in question,” Hotch pauses, letting his eyes fall to his lap as he considers his next sentence. “I believe now that I made a rash decision in asking you to stay behind. I can see that you are mentally prepared to be in the field. I apologize for my harsh words. I of course can’t say anything for your physical performance yet but I won’t be able to evaluate the full extent of your abilities until I am able to watch you in the field. On the next case I would like you to join the rest of the team.” A breath of relief leaves your lips.

“Of course. I’m ready to get to work.”

“I know. You’ll have the chance soon enough. In the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to come speak with me.”

“Thank you sir.” Hotch simply nods in response, beginning to stand. You follow his actions, gathering that he is done with the conversation. As you make your way to the door, feeling much lighter than when you came in, he stops you.

“Agent L/N,” The sound of his voice causes you to turn back. “I just wanted to say again that I’m sorry for not remembering you. I never meant to hurt you. It isn’t that you were forgettable. It’s just that a lot has happened in the last year.” This apology seems much more heartfelt than before and you try to hide a smile.

“I forgive you, sir.” With that you take your leave, making your way right back to Morgan’s desk. The shift in your mood must be palpable because he looks up at you with a smile.

“That’s not the face of someone that just got yelled at by Hotch.”

“No, no he didn’t yell at me. He was just telling me I did a good job and he cleared me to work in the field on the next case.”

“Good for you, kid. I’m glad we’re finally gonna get a chance to see what you can really do,” Nodding you rest against the edge of his desk again. “Now, see? That wasn’t too bad was it?” Looking back towards Hotch’s office you can see him bent over his desk, filling out paperwork. Being able to watch him for a moment without fear of falling apart allows you to crack a small smile.

“No. I guess it wasn’t.”

Tags: @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut @ohpedromypedro @ssahotchie @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711 @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester @hotch-stufff @annadorothxa @canadailluminate @yoshigguk @gothicxbarbie @romanogersendgame

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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Twisted 20 - The Compass [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 4000

Summary: Coming home can be unpleasant.

After getting a phone call from the FBI, you were now sure of one thing:

Karma really needed another hobby other than messing with you, and this break up was definitely not going the way it was supposed to go.

For starters, people who broke up with each other were not supposed to see each other this much. You had different lives, different social circles, different jobs and somehow universe kept pushing you two in each other’s space.

To make things worse, the last time you talked to Garcia she had offhandedly mentioned Luke dragging Spencer to a nightclub much to his displeasure and introducing him to a friend of his. Naturally, your mind was full of images of Spencer in a happy relationship, eventually moving to a house in the suburbs with her and having kids and all that.

“I don’t know what Luke is thinking,” Garcia said, “But I’m two seconds away from pulling him aside and giving him a piece of my mind. Reid is obviously still not over you, ambushing him to introduce him to a girl won’t change that.”

Needless to say, you had been in a terrible mood for the last couple of days.

“What’s taking her so long?” you checked your wristwatch and Nolan looked at you over his newspaper.

“Oh she’s talking to the board of the charity auction,” he said, “There are some last minute changes, apparently.”

You heaved a sigh and checked the time again, “I can’t stay for long,” you murmured and Nolan raised his brows.

“Oh? In a hurry?”

“Me and Spencer and…well, some of his team will go by the woods,” you said, “They found some bones near dad’s cabin close to the weekend house and they think it might help me remember where the rest is buried.”

He made a face, “That’s disturbing.”

“Nah, I thought going on a dead body remains hunt with my ex in the woods near one of my childhood trauma places would be romantic,” you deadpanned, “You don’t do that with your exes?”

“Not really?”

“Oh man you’re missing out.”

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, “I take it things haven’t improved on the heartbreak front?”

“I wouldn’t know, apparently his friend is setting him up with someone.”

“Mm, let me guess,” he mused, “Your plan is to do nothing about it?”

“No, I’m actually following your example,” you smiled at him sweetly, “I’ll just wait for decades and hope the girl turns out to be a serial killer.”

He tilted his head. “Touché.”

“Aw thank you,” you pushed at the food in your plate, “No seriously, what can I do? I can’t just go to him and tell him not to date other people. We broke up— I broke up with him.”

“You could explain the reason behind that.”

“I can’t do that.”

He clicked his tongue, “Well then, I suggest you get ready just in case he happens to ask for your help planning his wedding.”

“You’ve been absolutely no help at all Nolan, I appreciate that.”

“I’m offering you my wisdom and you’re not taking it,” he held up his hands, gesturing surrender, “I also suggested to get his superiors to fix a meeting with him to talk to him about certain boundaries and mistakes but…”

“Get his superiors— I’m sorry, what?”

“I play poker with the head of the department he works under.”

“Of course you do.” You sipped your coffee, “When did you suggest that exactly?”

“Oh not to you, to your mother,” he nodded to himself as he saw the look on your face, “Yeah. But then I saw how it could not only damage some professional relationships, but also it’s better to let young people solve their own problems, no matter how easy it is to solve them with an outsider’s influence.”

You pulled your brows together.

“Try again.”

“I asked your mother and she said no.”

“Oh thank God.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Yeah no, don’t do that. We’re not in high school, you know?”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he smiled slightly at the scandalized look on your face.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand in the air, “It’s strange that mom said no though. She doesn’t really like him nowadays, and she keeps listing all his….disadvantages whenever I talk about him.”

“Disadvantages?”

“Mm hm. The other day she said it was maybe for the best in the long run, because he’s an FBI agent so considering his paychecks, we would eventually fight about our future children’s tuition fees.”

Nolan thought for a moment, “She does have a point, considering what FBI pays their agents…”

You blinked a couple of times, “Right,” you said, “That’s exactly why I broke up with him. Because who would be paying for our hypothetical future children’s future tuition fees, yeah. Deal breaker, that one.”

“It could be a contributing factor though—“ he started but you heard your mother’s heels approaching and soon enough she walked into the living room and pressed a kiss on your cheek.

“Darling, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she told you before pecking Nolan on the lips, making him smile, “This whole charity auction, honestly…”

“Do I have to come to that thing?” you looked between them, your brows pulled together in an attempt to make them take pity on you but your mother tilted her head.

“Yes you do.”

“It’s just that…” you heaved a dramatic sigh, “You know, I’m going through a break up—“

“You’ve been going through a break up for more than a month now, you’re not allowed to use that as an excuse.”

“My heart is broken!”

“Good, focus on charity then.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to Nolan, “What’s the real reason she’s dragging me to this?”

“Oh no, I’m not getting caught in this crossfire.”

“Mom?”

She cleared her throat and sipped her coffee, “The other day when I visited Nolan at work, he happened to introduce me to this very handsome Chief Marketing Officer who’s handling—“

“Oh no.”

“Keep in mind that we pay him more than what FBI pays his agents.” Nolan stated, laughing up his sleeve as if he found it hilarious and you scrunched up your nose.

“Nolan, I know you were born in the eighteenth century but that’s actually not a problem we have these days.”

“He’s single,” your mother said as if she wasn’t even listening and you threw your head back, letting out a whine, “He loves dogs and squash—“

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not sitting at our table,” your mother said, “I fixed another surprise for you at our table, and I figured you’d want to keep your options open.”

“Besides, if your ex boyfriend is moving on…” Nolan trailed off and your mother raised her brows.

“Oh, Spencer has a girlfriend now?”

“No!” you said way too loudly and then cleared your throat, “I mean—I don’t care. But I don’t think so, I would’ve heard it.”

“See? More reason for you to meet other people.”

You pouted, “I hate this so much. I can’t believe I’m being dragged into this nonsense only because you guys are making me, this is seriously bullshit…”

“Y/N, do you want some cookies?” Nolan interrupted your grumbling, “One of my assistants brought them from France the other day.”

You scoffed, “How old do you think I—” you paused for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders, “Actually yeah, I’d love some cookies right now.”

***

Unfortunately, when you left your mother’s house you had overestimated the traffic and how long it would take you to get there so by the time you had pulled over by the road leading into the woods, you could only see one FBI car. You didn’t have to wonder who was in it when your eyes caught the sight of Spencer leaning against it and your heart skipped a beat.

“Fuck…” you murmured to yourself and considered for a short second to drive away until others got there, but it was too late. Spencer turned his head, saw your car and stopped dead on his tracks so you heaved a sigh and pushed open the door to step outside. You looked around before you pulled yourself up to sit on the hood before you fished your cigarette pack out of your purse.

“You’re early.” Spencer said and you raised your glances to look at him for a second before lighting your cigarette.

“So are you,” you put the lighter back into your purse, “Came by yourself?”

“Luke is talking with the police.”

“Lovely,” you exhaled the smoke and he crossed his arms, looking up at the sky for a moment before stealing a look at you.

You had no idea what to say to him. After that one day of truce, it was like you were back to being enemies and ignoring each other. The fact that he might have been ready to date another person made you feel even worse if it was possible, especially after that phone call between you. He had said that he was a mess just like you were, he had said you had taken a part of him when you left him, and—

You didn’t even know what you hoped for. You knew it wouldn’t change anything, and yet the thought of him being with someone else was more than enough to make you feel like you were falling off a cliff.

Maybe it was just the truce talking. Maybe he didn’t mean any of that.

Your phone vibrating in your purse made you snap out of your thoughts and you looked at the caller I.D., then frowned and answered.

“Hey, I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“On a Sunday?” Lincoln’s voice reached you, “Who’s the workaholic now?”

“Still you Linc,” you said and Spencer’s head shot up, “What’s up?”

“I just called to let you know that they just moved me to your table.”

You pulled your brows, “I’m sorry, what?”

“At the charity auction. My table was 3, they just e-mailed me to say I’ve been moved to 1.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re the surprise?” you asked, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Somebody needs to stop my mother.”

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” you said, “I…That’s great, we’ll sit together then. If you like sulking the whole night, we’ll be just fine.”

“Come on, it could be fun.”

“I doubt that.”

“Hey, at least you’re not alone.”

“I’ll drink throughout that night, you sure you can keep up?”

“Do you even know who you’re talking to, you amateur?”

“Oh it’s on.” You smiled slightly and he chuckled.

“I’ll see you at our table then. With drinks.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you said before you hung up, and put the phone back into your purse before you felt Spencer’s burning gaze on you, so you looked up at him.

“What?” you asked and he scoffed a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

“Nothing.”

“Professor.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said, his gaze fixed on the woods and you tilted your head.

“Fine.”

He sucked a breath through his clenched teeth, as if trying to decide whether to say anything or not before you could ask again, Luke approached you two, another car pulling over by your car.

“Hey there.” You greeted Luke as you jumped off the hood and he tilted his head.

“Why are you shorter?”

You motioned at your sneakers, “I figured since we’re going into the woods, heels would be a bad idea.”

“Is this the first time I’m seeing you without heels?”

“Probably.”

“Should we get going?”

JJ stole a look at Spencer and you, then turned to Luke, “Actually, do you mind coming with me to the car for a moment? There’s this file I want to get your opinion on.” She nodded at you, “You guys go ahead if you want.”

You pulled your brows together for a second, trying to understand what was happening but then decided you wouldn’t question it and stepped into the woods, a shiver running down your spine.

It looked way too familiar.

You gritted your teeth and started walking, and it didn’t take long for Spencer to catch up with you.

“So I never got to ask you,” you managed to say after almost ten minutes of complete silence, “That…that blood vial in that petal bowl, whose blood was it?”

“Anthony’s.”

“Right,” you murmured as you kept walking, “Was it….was it something my dad did back then?”

“No.” Spencer said curtly and you looked over your shoulder.

“So then what does it—“

“Are you dating other people?” the words left his lips in a hurry as if he didn’t know how to stop them and you stopped dead on your tracks.

“I beg your pardon?”

He opened his mouth for a moment like he was trying to find the right words but then he closed it and shrugged his shoulders.

“Never mind,” he murmured, walking past you and you gawked after him for a while before you rushed after him.

“No, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

Maybe your whole theory about Spencer being a genius therefore not being able to be jealous wasn’t exactly the truth.

“I’m not— is this about Lincoln?” you held up the phone in your hand before you sped up to catch up with his long strides, “There’s this stupid charity auction bullshit and we’re both attending it, that’s it.”

“Alright,” he murmured, still walking and you let out a breath.

“Spencer!”

“What?” he turned around to look at you, that fire burning in his eyes again, “I said never mind, okay?”

“I’m not dating Lincoln!” you exclaimed “And I— even if I were, at least he’s not someone I met at a nightclub my friends forced me to go, unlike some of us.”

“What does that-” he started but it hit him in a second, “Garcia told you.”

“It came up.”

He raised his brows, “Yeah? How?”

“It just did.” You managed to say even if your cheeks were burning, “So what? You’re going to stand there and ask me that when you’re moving on already?”

“I’m not moving on!” he said as if you had just insulted him, “Besides, you broke up with me remember?”

“Yeah and you wasted no time Spencer, congratulations.” You murmured as you walked past him but as soon as your eyes caught the sight of the huge cabin by the small hill, your breath got caught in your throat and you took a step back, the memory flashing through your mind so fast that the headache hit you out of nowhere.

Your father tugged you by your hand through the woods as you yawned, rubbing at your eyes.

“Are you sleepy honey?”

You nodded, looking up at him,

“Daddy I thought we were going to come here tomorrow, with mom and Mina.” you said as you hugged the huge teddy bear you had brought with you when your father had woken you up and told you that you would be taking a small trip to the cabin.

“We are,” he said, “We will go back home after our hunt is done here.”

“Yeah but mom says Mina and I can’t be outside the cabin at night,” you murmured, “The lake is too close, remember? We might fall in, she says.”

“She’s right, no leaving the cabin by yourself when it’s dark outside,” he said, “Or else no chocolate for a week, you know the rules.”

“Okay, okay…” you yawned again, and your father knelt down so that you could look him in the eye.

“Petal honey, I want you to pay attention,” he said, “Look around. Let’s say you’re in the woods by yourself and you’re hunting. You know how we hunt, right?”

You took a deep breath, “Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.”

“Very good,” he said, “When you’re hunting in the woods, what’s the first thing you do?”

“Look up at the sky,” you said, “That’s how I know where I am.”

“Good start. How about if your prey is running to get away from you? How do you chase them?”

“People aren’t calm when they’re being hunted,” you repeated what he had told you, “They make noises. I follow that, and wait for them to tire themselves out.”

He nodded, then you both climbed the stairs to the front door of the cabin.

“And what’s the one thing you remember?”

“To stay calm and patient.”

He smiled at you and opened the door to the cabin so that you could see the bloodied person tied to a chair, screaming through the gag.

“Good,” he said, “Let’s go over what we do with the prey, shall we?”

“Y/N!” Spencer’s voice cut through the memory, almost grabbing you and pulling you back to the reality and it was only when you realized you weren’t standing anymore, instead you were on the ground on your knees, gasping for breath.

“I can’t—“ you choked out, pressing a hand over your chest “I—I can’t breathe—“

“Yes you can,” he helped you sit and lean your back to the tree trunk, “You just need to focus on me, alright? Can you breathe with me?”

You sniffled, trying to match your breathing with his and he nodded,

“There you go,” he said with a smile, “You’re doing great. Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded your head, still desperate to cling to anything that would protect you from that memory and he entwined his fingers with you.

“Keep your focus on me,” he said as he wiped the teardrop off your cheek with his free hand, awakening a fire right beneath your cheekbone, “Here’s what we’re going to do, you will inhale when I squeeze your hand, exhale when I stop. Can we do that together?”

You inhaled when you felt his grip tightening around your hand, then exhaled when it became loose again.

“Y/N?”

You let out a shaky breath, “Hm?”

“Why are public proposals so bad?”

A teary laugh escaped from your lips, “Professor…”

“No, I want you to tell me,” he said as you inhaled again when he squeezed your hand, “Why are they so bad?”

“Because they—“ you exhaled, “They’re not private.”

“They could be romantic.”

“But they’re not,” you protested, “They’re not romantic. They’re pretentious.”

“Pretentious?” he squeezed your hand once more and you took another breath.

“If you need an audience for something like that, you’re pretentious yeah.” You said as the nausea slowly retreated and he pushed your hair behind your ear before his knuckles brushed over your neck, it lasted only a moment but it was enough for you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled and he offered you a small smile.

“Anytime.”

“Brings back the memories, huh?” you leaned your head back to the tree trunk and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he murmured, “Yeah it really does.”

You pressed your lips together, “Spencer, why are you helping me?” you asked him, taking him by surprise, “With….all this. I thought you hated me.”

He swallowed thickly,

“I can’t hate you,” his voice was almost a murmur, “I wish I could. Trust me, I tried.”

“Guys?” you heard Luke’s voice and you turned your head to see them approaching, “What’re you—what happened?”

“We’ll meet you there in a second,” Spencer said, shooting JJ a look and she nodded.

“Okay,” she said, “Come on Luke.”

They walked past you to the cabin and you looked up at the sky for a couple of seconds before willing yourself to focus on him again.

“You remembered something,” he said and you nodded.

“A memory,” you managed to say, “I…Spencer, there are dead bodies in there.”

“I know, we found bones in the backyard—“

“No,” you cut him off, “You don’t understand. There are dead bodies in the cabin.”

He pulled his brows together and you pulled your hand out of his before standing up on shaky legs, still holding onto the tree for support.

“Y/N, we can wait-” he said but you shook your head and made your way to the cabin until you reached the stairs. Every cell in your body was screaming at you to run away, but you managed to force yourself to climb the stone stairs and stopped for a moment at the door as Spencer stepped to stand next to you. Everything looked exactly the same as you had left them all those years ago right before your father was arrested.

A shudder went down your spine, the same as the one you had gotten when you woke up in your apartment after being drugged. Something in here was way too dangerous for you and it wouldn’t rest until you were at its mercy so you had to get away before it could dig its claws under your skin, but-

You had to do this. You could do this.

You had been through much worse than this before.

You had survived your father, you had survived his copycats, you had survived everything thrown your way so far, you could survive this as well.

You rolled your shoulders back and stepped into the huge living room, the memory pushing at your mind but you shook your head, forcing yourself to focus.

“We can leave if you want,” Spencer murmured and you dug your fingernails into your palms hard enough to hurt.

There was a reason why police couldn’t find anything in this goddamn place when they first checked. You had repressed the memory just like you had repressed the rest, and now that you were here…

The memories about the cabin were swirling in your head, each more terrifying than other.

“Luke.”

Luke turned his head, “Yeah?”

“Do you mind stepping aside for a moment?” you asked, “Actually, if no one could—if no one could stand on the rug that’d be ideal. Thanks.”

JJ shot you a look but nodded at the two other agents walking around the living room and you slowly approached the magnetic chess board by the coffee table, holding out your hand over the pieces for a second. Panic roared through you but you gritted your teeth and moved the pawn, then put the bishop where your father taught you to put it way back then.

“It’ll be like a treasure hunt, but you need to keep it a secret,” he had told you, “Pinky swear?”

You turned the queen in hand your for a moment, then put it right next to the bishop and the small basement trapdoor which was impossible to see even if someone was looking for it clicked under the rug. Spencer froze for a moment before he and Luke pulled the rug off the floor and pulled open the hatch but the smell coming from downstairs made you cover your mouth.

“Stay here,” Luke told the agents as he went downstairs and Spencer followed him right before JJ did. You stalled there for a moment, trying to repress the fear pinning you to your spot before you stepped closer to the stairs leading down to the secret basement.

“Miss—“ the agent said but you ignored him and made your way down. JJ and Spencer already had their flashlights on as Luke held his gun, ready to pull the trigger at any unexpected movement.

“You can’t be here.” Spencer told you but you weren’t even mood to snap back at him. You dragged your fingertips on the wall until you found the switch and turned the light on, the smell getting worse and worse.

There were three huge boxes by the wall, all tightly shut and you had a feeling—

No, not a feeling. What you had was a memory and you knew exactly what was in them.

Spencer turned to you, apparently ready to tell you to go upstairs again but as soon as his eyes caught something over your shoulder, he froze, his jaw clenching. You could feel your heartbeat getting faster and faster as Luke stopped dead on his tracks.

“Y/N, go upstairs.” Spencer said, his tone way too controlled until you turned your head, “No wait, don’t look—“

But it was too late. The bloodied message on the wall made you gasp as you took a step back, unable to look away as that familiar dread filled you once more, the simple line causing goosebumps to rise on your skin;

Welcome home Petal.

Chapter 21

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer #reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #twisted

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loveanoutcast · 4 years ago

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“Games” | Eren Yeager

Part Four | NSFW Content

TW: nsfw content, smut, public sex, intercourse during pregnancy, lactation, slapping, degradation, spitting, oral receiving (male), cumshot, creampie, squirting, slight mommy/daddy kink, voyeurism

Pairing: Eren Yeager (Jaeger) x Fem!Reader, Mentions of Levi Ackerman x Reader (Brief)

Other: Gamer!Eren, married, modern au, teacher!reader, administrator!reader, jealousy, insecurity, original characters

Word count: 13,104

Well, hell. This is the longest part of this series by far but it’s honestly all the smut scenes for me. This is going to be like twenty levels of filthy brainrot and I am not even sorry. These parts get dirtier and dirtier and it just is what it is. Let me know what you all think, I really do appreciate any feedback. This will have a part five as well as a part six that's OPTIONAL to read as it might have a fantasy of Levi x Reader x Eren but maybe not because this was just suppose to be Eren x Reader married trope. Let me know what you all think, I seriously appreciate any and all feedback and it has been so so fun coming up with this short series!

Also the original character is made up and not a reflection of anyone I know, I pulled the first name out of an old Disney show I watched and the last name was more of a play of words, you’ll see. Anyway, thank you all for enjoying this, I try my hardest to update as soon as I can.

At twenty-four weeks pregnant, you felt like you were on top of the world. You had a great job as an educator and administrator for your city’s education board, your classes went swimmingly with the kids being excited to see their favorite teacher become a mom (There was an odd one here and there who cried to you about their fear of you not having enough space in your heart to love them, something you would immediately dismiss and ease their worries about), your family and friends were as supportive as ever and continuously showered you with encouragement, and you had Eren Yeager as your husband. He was everything you needed and wanted in a partner and you couldn’t imagine what you were before him and how you had managed to have gone through so much of your life without him. There were still moments where you two quarreled and your late-night cravings had resulted in him having morning grumpiness more than once, but he was attentive to your needs. He always listened to your complaints and every night before bed he would express his love for your small family through words before making love to you over and over again.

Yes, you felt lucky indeed. Ever since the moment you had morning sickness all those weeks ago, Eren had insisted on spending as much time with you as his own busy schedule would allow. Lunch dates were now a daily routine, sometimes you would go to his office and other times he would meet you at the school. Today was a bit different as Eren finally had a day off from his often-overwhelming schedule, you still had a few morning classes and one afternoon meeting to get through, but you promised him you would be finished by three in the afternoon so that the two of you could go into town to shop for your outfits for the upcoming wedding of Historia and Ymir. As you found yourself waking up a bit later than usual, your husband watched you in bemusement. Your feet made the cutest pitter patter noises on the floor, your stomach slowed your movements and every time you threw another article of clothing that now fit too small onto your shared bed, Eren’s smile grew a little wider from where he was sat up against the headboard.

Right now, you were a sight to behold, luckily some of your skirts had elastic bands and the pleated midi skirt swayed easily on your new figure. The problem was finding a blouse that didn’t hug your chest too tightly or fell too high on your large bump. Your hair was still in disarray and Eren bit his lip when you stretched to the upper rack to reach for another shirt. Seeing you barefoot, pregnant, hair crazy, and only a bra on your upper half was enough to get him excited. There was also the fact that your breasts had grown in size, the cups of your bra barely able to contain them as they were practically spilling out. There was also the pressing issue that made you let out an annoyed groan as you looked down at the pretty cotton material.

“What is it princess?” Eren asked from bed, looking over to him, you puckered your lips a bit. He never wore shirts to bed, so seeing his finely muscular chest which was still littered in small love bites from your constant need to mark him made you flush in embarrassment and heat.

You felt a bit shy in voicing the issue, you loved being pregnant but lately the symptoms had been slightly kicking your ass and today was no different. Turning to face him, you gestured to your chest. He could finally see the fresh spots of dampness near the center of the cups and his eyebrows creased in worry before raising in surprise, you also noted the splash of pink that coated his cheeks.

Sighing, you said, “My breasts are leaking. The milk is coming in and I guess it’s too much.”

Your husband continued to switch his glances from your chest to your face, the green in his eyes deepening and you didn’t miss the way he licked his bottom lip. You felt a slight shiver travel down your spine when you saw his hands clench and unclench, the thought of them softly rubbing your breasts brought on a wave of neediness. You knew it wasn’t really milk that sat in your breast yet, but more of the colostrum that comes before the milk and the thin liquid had been making itself known more and more by the second as you imagined your husband’s mouth helping ease the wetness. It seemed that your husband shared the same idea. Getting up from his seated position, Eren pushed the discarded tops to the side before sitting on the corner of the large bench in front of your bed. He beckoned you over with two fingers and you moved without thought. Standing between his parted knees, pretty green eyes peered into yours.

“Any way I can help you?” He asked slowly, the seductive tone in his deep voice made you shift on your feet.

You nodded and let out a gasp when his fingers tapped the side of your thigh.

“Use your words, angel.”

Clearing your throat, you let your hands rest on his broad shoulders, and you knew your face was beet red.

“Can daddy help me feel better?”

Eren hummed, smiling up at you in that boyish way that drove you mad. He reached for the top of your skirt and your eyebrows creased in confusion, the little sound you let out made Eren stop his movements before he explained,

“It’s a pretty skirt, angel. I don’t want it to get ruined.”

You nodded, understanding as you stepped out of the material watching as he gently tossed it to the other side of the bed. Using his shoulders for balance before you stood before him in only your panties and bra. Next Eren let his hands wander, fingers dancing across your stretched skin and leaving raised goosebumps in its wake. He kissed your tummy, rubbing your sides and you let your eyes follow his movements, only lightly giggling when his dark locks tickled you here and there.

Letting your panties fall to your ankles, Eren was quick to lower the top of his briefs, his dick was fully erect as it sat heavy between his legs.

“Sit on my lap.” He instructed, helping you straddle him, and you became increasingly aware of how big you’ve gotten as your baby bump fell snug between both your bodies. The cups of your bra barely grazed his chest and you ensured that your knees were as forward as your body was allowed so you wouldn’t fall off when you finally leaned back to look at him.

Eren gave you another smile and a soft kiss to your lips, gently biting down on the bottom one before kissing your jaw as well. His hands went to the top of your bra straps, bringing them down your shoulders slowly before he wrapped his arms completely around the top of your back. As your chests pressed together, you felt the excess liquid trail from your bra between your bodies, but your bump still let you let out a huff as you couldn’t be as close to your husband as before. Judging by the hooded eyes Eren was sporting, you figured he didn’t mind. Your breaths mixed together heavily as your faces were closer than before and you quickly pushed your mouth down onto his. Your tongue running across his lips and the inside of his mouth and you felt his fingers working the hooks of the back of the pretty cotton material.

You moaned into his mouth when you felt the relief of release when he succeeded. Leaning back, you were quick to discard of the heavily damped fabric, your breasts falling heavy and you sighed when Eren took them into his hands. His palms worked the swollen globes in circles, fingers pinching your puffy pretty nipples which caused drops of the thin liquid to fall.

“Oh fuck,” Eren groaned, “They look so fucking good filled up.”

“Augh,” You moaned, head tilting upwards, “Please my dearest.”

Eren kissed the top of your breasts, looking up once more at you and noticing how your eyes had become half-closed in pleasure.

“Is daddy hungry?”

Eren’s head bobbed up and down, his hands pushing your breasts together as he put his face in between. You couldn’t help but giggle a little bit as he motorboated you.

“Can daddy suck on mommy’s tits?” He asked so sweetly that you felt like you could come apart right then and there.

You couldn’t help but grind on him, he was solid and hard as hell from what the two of you were doing. Your slick was wetting him, and you let out a sharp gasp when the tip of his dick slid into you partially. You let out a loud moan of his name when Eren’s hands gripped your hips and pushed himself fully into your heat. He gave you a few moments to adjust to his thick girth, busying himself by kissing and rubbing you everywhere, he raised his hips slightly, giving you the smallest of thrusts that made your head feel fuzzy.

“Please.” You begged in almost a broken cry. It was all it took before Eren latched his mouth onto one of your nipples, the sound of him suckling on them filled the large room. You humped him while he fed, the squelching sounds from where you were connected only made you flush at how wet and ready you were for his dick. The warmth of his mouth made you feel dizzy, his tongue flicking your nipple up and down while the other was being rubbed by his hand. You could feel yourself getting more damp with how hot you felt, and you almost lost it when you looked down just to see that his eyes had closed, and small dribbles of the liquid fell through the sides of his mouth.

You let out a small click of irritation from your tongue, “Daddy’s a messy eater.”

His heavy lashes fluttered open to look up at you and a small pop was let out when he released your nipple, his mouth was tightly closed and looked a bit full as you smiled at him. Giving him a particularly hard thrust, you saw him close his eyes briefly, the pads of his fingers digging into your waist.

“Open.” You instructed.

His lips parted and you saw the pool of liquid immediately leak out and slide down onto his neck and chest. Eren leaned forward and let some of it fall onto your stomach. He looked up at you, one hand grabbing you by the back of your head as he brought you into a sloppy kiss. You tasted the liquid as you two swapped spit and his tongue felt silky as he battled yours for dominance, you broke it first as you took a deep breath and cooed when you saw the thin trail of saliva and milk connecting your mouths before breaking. His Adam’s apple bobbing hard as he swallowed the rest and you attempted to clamp your legs closed on him. He switched to your other breast, repeating the same movements but this time he sucked harder and enticed louder moans from you. You thrusted down onto him faster, and the vibrations from his own moans could be felt on your sensitive nipples.

Feeling yourself near, Eren was quick to grab you under the thighs, he bounced you on his dick while making sure to keep feeding from your leaking breasts. Your tongue lolled out from the sensations, not even caring that you yourself were drooling. Your hands were hanging loosely on his shoulders, the way he held you tighter was appreciated. As well as the view of his ripped muscular body flushing red and hot by the mind-blowing sex you two were having. You could feel the thin excess liquid from his messy eating dripping down your chest and stomach, pooling between the two of you and you put your head back in pleasure once more.

“Daddy! Daddy!” You kept repeating, “I’m going to-I’m going to cum.”

Hearing him swallow a bit, he spoke around the fluid in his mouth, “Cum on my dick mommy, come on.”

A few more hard thrusts and Eren lifted you off as you were mid-orgasm, you squirted all over his thighs and yourself and you screamed his name in a broken cry. Your legs shook from the force and you rested against him for a few seconds before giving him a lazy smile.

“Get on your knees, princess.” He mumbled, you could see him doing his best to keep his mouth closed and you felt a coil of excitement as you had a fair idea of what he wanted to do.

Despite feeling fucked out and sore, and very sticky, you got on your knees in front of him. His hand found your jaw and you looked up at him with the largest puppy eyes you could muster before saying,

“Can daddy spit in my mouth?”

Eren’s dick twitched and he nodded eagerly, tapping your cheek softly you opened your mouth wide and he opened his, slowly letting the liquid fall into yours before spitting the rest right in. Some spilled off the sides of your own mouth and you were quick to spread and rub the substance all over your chest and belly before taking your fingers and rubbing at your already sensitive clit.

“Holy fuck, my girl is dirty.” Eren watched with wide eyes, here you were on your knees with your legs spread. Somewhat heavy with his child and lactating like the good breeding slut he always asked you to be. You gave him a smile, the white traces of the liquid all over your face and you surprised him when you reached for his dick.

You quickly took him into your mouth, Eren groaning loudly as your locks of hair tickled his inner thighs, he gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slightly lifted his hips as he thrusted into your mouth. You gagged as he hit the back of it but made no complaints, letting your tongue swirl as much as the limited room would allow you released him and noticed the thick trail of saliva and milk that connected your mouth to his penis. Spitting on the head, you worked his shaft with your hand, tightening around the base and loosening your grip as you got to the tip. You could see the splashes of your orgasm all over his abs, legs, and the fabrics of the bed. This was definitely one of the messiest things you two had done, but you didn’t care as you put his penis back in your mouth and let your fingers trail across his abdomen, your cum mixing nicely with your breast milk and giving his muscles a sheer shine.

Your head bobbed up and down on him, Eren torn between closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of what you were doing and wanting to keep them open to not miss a second of you being filthy for him.

Forcing his large length down, you fought the urge to gag as he hit the back of your throat and you released him in a loud slurp. You kept working the hardened cock with your hand as you looked up to your husband.

“You look so fucking pretty right now.” Eren blurted and you let out a giggle at his odd comment.

“Take a picture, daddy.” You suggested with a wink, “Might be your only chance.”

He wasted no time and you bit down the laugh as he stretched himself back to the center of the bed where his phone laid. You watched him swipe at the screen and gave the head of his dick a few licks before suckling at it softly. Eren moaned before asking quite boldly,

“Fuck a picture, can I record you?”

You shrugged before smiling innocently, “Sure, as long as you promise not to show anyone.”

“Who the fuck would I-“ Eren stopped midsentence, looking down to see you leaving a few kisses to his shaft as you observed his impressive length and his mind briefly flashed to the memory of his former captain watching you with obvious lust and the way you had been getting quite cozy with him in return.

“I mean-“ Your husband guided himself into your mouth again, you let him slide further and further into your mouth and his next words caused you to loudly choke,

“Levi might like to see what that pretty mouth can do.”

You couldn’t release him, your wide eyes gazing up at his look of indifference and you couldn’t deny the way you tried to clamp your thighs together for some form of friction, the idea of Levi touching himself to the thought of you pregnant, lactating, covered in cum, and sucking off your husband was…intriguing…and your husband seemed to know exactly what you were thinking as you heard the sound of the recording starting.

Taking your hair tightly in his fist, Eren took you off his dick and you gasped for breath softly. You stared at his swollen head and felt a bit too ashamed to look up and you indirectly confirmed your attraction for his former officer. You hadn’t missed the way Levi looked at you for the remainder of the night you had gotten off on Eren’s thigh during game night. Nor did you miss the way he had offered to help you with the dishes and how his arm brushed against yours standing closely, the way he reached around you to grab the drying towel and his body pressed against you before you felt his warm breath against your ear. When Jean began to argue with Zeke over the rules of Uno you had tried to talk to them over the tall breakfast bar dividing the kitchen and living room, your upper body had leaned over the surface as you tried to use your loudest voice but to no avail. Eren had disappeared somewhere and when you felt hands on your hips trying to raise you off the marble, only then had you noticed how much pressure you were placing on your bump to support your weight. You backed up completely into Levi and didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath and your ass pressed firmly against him and he was truly…impressive. Neither of you said anything but you didn’t exactly rush to move.

After the kiss and that entire night, you had been texting a bit more with Levi. The occasional phone call here and there were innocent as you two only spoke about things like work, friends, and tea. It wasn’t that Eren didn’t come up in conversation but seeing that you were getting heavier with his child every day and you were constantly around your husband, most times he was mentioned was followed up with a funny story about Levi kicking the shit out of him or you complimenting how wonderful he had been treating you. Your growing friendship was innocent.

The loud sound of your husband slapping you echoed around your bedroom, your cheek stung as you felt a sudden thrill flood you and you looked up innocently to his dark green eyes, your cheeks throbbed in pain and pleasure as it had been a while since Eren was willfully so rough with you. His phone still recording you as you continued to play with his shaft.

“Just going to play dumb, princess? Gonna act like I don’t see the way he looks at you?”

“Daddy,” You answered sheepishly as you licked the underside of his dick, the tip of your tongue teased his balls and he bucked his hips for a moment, “It doesn’t matter. I’m married to you, I’m pregnant with your child, and I’m horny for your cock right now. So, will you please just cum for me?”

Eren nodded before giving you a smile that you couldn’t deny had made you feel uneasy previous times. The grip on your hair tightened and he fucked your mouth without mercy for the next few minutes. At some point you had started to feel the tears from the corner of your eyes fall and the choking slurpy sounds coming from your mouth only made him go faster.

“I’m going to cum on your face.” Eren announced and you nodded, only receiving a harder thrust that made the fingers on his abdomen muscles pressed harder on the toned skin. The usually tanned flesh was riddles with sharp red lines from your nails scratching and clawing from how harsh he was mouthfucking you. The words coming out of his filthy mouth only degraded you further.

“Who knew I had such a whore for a wife? A breeding bitch who wants to be milked and fucked stupid.”

“Look at my little cumslut, taking me so well into that dirty mouth. Fuck yeah take it all. Don’t be shy.”

“Is my little mommy crying? Crying and choking on daddy’s dick?”

“I’m the only one who can see you like this, got it?” You nodded at that comment, but the sharp slap on your cheek made you whimper and suck harder. You could feel him start to pulse and you rubbed your clit in faster circles, your hips moving as you felt yourself getting dizzier from how hard you were working to get Eren off.

The tug at your hair made you release him, and you gasped for breath, the trail of saliva breaking as you locked eyes with your husband whose face was a sight to behold as he came. Long ropes of cum shot out from the head, the first landing across your face, from your jaw well into the top of your hair. The second landed half into your mouth and the other half on your left cheek. The other spurts came onto your chest and some onto your belly where you quickly smeared it across. You let your tongue hang out as he tapped his head against it to ensure it was all out. You swallowed eagerly and let out a hum when Eren’s thumb caressed your jaw.

His phone was thrown somewhere to the side and you shuffled a little when Eren stood up. You slumped at realizing how exhausted you felt, and you could hear the faucet running in the distance before Eren kneeled next to you, the soft towel was used to clean you up and you gave Eren a smile when he helped you to your feet.

“Shower?” He asked with a laugh, taking your hand in his before the both of you walked towards the running water.

Your fingers were rubbing the shampoo near your husband’s dark roots when he finally talked again, his arms encircled around your large waist and softly rubbing your lower back.

“I know that Levi likes you.” He murmured, your hands stilling as you met his eyes.

“Eren-“

“I can’t exactly say I’m surprised. Everyone knows how incredibly out of my league you are.”

You sighed as you let your soapy hands cup his cheeks, pretty green eyes looked sad and you got on your tip toes to kiss him deeply, the little whine he released only tightened your hold.

“Baby,” You sighed when you finally released him and relaxed in your stance, “When are we going to get over this? This insecurity with each other? First it was Jean, then Historia, now Levi? We’re going to run out of friends if this keeps up.”

He let out a small laugh, and you smiled meekly before continuing, “Levi has been extra nice to me and I can’t stop it if he ends up liking me on a deeper level, but I also know that he cares about you. About all of us.” You gripped his hand and placed it on your stomach, his fingers warm as he glanced down as your exposed bump.

“It doesn’t matter because all that does matter is our family. You, me, and this little one. No more of this, Eren. We are married, we own a house, and we are going to be bringing another being into this world and we can’t waste what little time we have left alone going back and forth on people who are not part of this bubble.”

The warm water was steadily still hitting the two of you, the granite cool to the touch as Eren backed you up against it. Steady green eyes looked into yours as you received a nod in agreement.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just I know you like him too, Y/N.”

You opened your mouth to argue but the pad of his fingers pressing against your lips stopped you,

“Please don’t try to deny it. I’m your husband and your best friend, I know you better than you know yourself and I know you feel something for the Ackerman. I’m not saying it’s even remotely close to the love you have for me but whether it’s a school crush or some infatuation, I don’t care. You’re my wife, the mother of my child, and I just want us to be honest with each other. It doesn’t mean you love me any less, baby. It just means that your heart is large enough and you are freeenough to be who you are. I just want you to be that way with me, always. Without hesitation or fear.”

“I am not afraid of you.” You quickly replied and held onto his arms a little tighter before sighing, “I was just…afraid of what I felt and that it might hurt you. I choose you every day, and every day I wake up I’m happy because it’s another day with you by my side. I get to know that I’m pregnant with your child and I get to call myself Mrs. Yeager. You are my everything, and if I’m free it’s only because you have taught me how to be.”

You both stared at each other for a few more moments and it was that boyish smile that had you grinning,

“I love you, Mrs. Yeager.”

You kissed him, letting out a yelp when he suddenly grabbed you from your thighs and hoisted you up against the shower. You urged him to be careful, but you knew your husband was strong enough to hold you like so for hours. The feeling of him brushing against your entrance and how ready he seemed to take you only made you blush.

He rubbed his nose sweetly with yours as he slowly began to thrust into you, your breath catching as you leaned your head back on the granite to let out a moan.

“I love you too, Mr. Yeager.” You said, crashing your lips against his before moaning at the harder thrust he gave you. The sounds of skin smacking were drowned out by the rush of the shower, but the sweet nothings and proclamations of love whispered in your ear were louder than ever as you and your husband fucked for the second time that morning in your shared bathroom.

That was the last time you and Eren had sex and you let out a deep sigh as you finished your makeup. You were now twenty-six weeks pregnant and it was also day five since you had seen your husband in person. The week that followed that morning went about normally, you and Eren had been able to go into town and find outfits for the wedding and you only got mildly annoyed with the endless comments on how big and beautiful you looked with that pregnancy “glow” that you were pretty sure was just summer sweat. If it hadn’t been for Eren’s kind smiles and whispered promises to reward you if you promised not to snap at the fifth person who rubbed your belly, you don’t know how you would have survived. The rest of the week had gone by well, you were both busy with work as you were trying to squeeze in as many work hours as you could before you were to be put on maternity leave and before summer would begin. By the time you would get home, you and Eren would have dinner followed by him doing extra work in his study and you catching up on grading papers. By the time you two would shower and get in bed, you just wanted to cuddle and talk about random things. The sex you had together was one of the dirtiest and wildest things you two had done in a good while and your breasts had since then reduced in leaking, so the urge to jump each other was pretty much extinguished. However, that following Friday, your husband informed you that he had to leave for a business trip on Monday and would be back by Wednesday. He was two days late and despite his constant texting and video calls, you felt emotional and lonely without him. The group had tried their best to constantly keep you company, Levi had even stopped by every day since to help with dinner and friends of groups of two or three would always join. Nonetheless, it was the times when you would get ready for bed, double check the house locks, and cuddle with the largest pillow while Eren snored softly through the mobile device perched on your nightstand that made you sad. You missed his warmth and his kisses, more than once you woke up from a sudden night terror and reached for him on instinct. You blamed the release of large hormones on your sudden change in sleep behavior, as well as the anxiety you felt from being alone in such a large house. It wasn’t the first time Eren had to leave for business trips, you even remembered the time he had been gone for almost a month as his business expanded on a global scale, but this time was different. You were pregnant with your first child and with Eren being so tall, muscular, and having the military background experience, you couldn’t lie that it was a bit intimidating that you couldn’t even go to the second landing without huffing for air.

Either way, whenever Mikasa would drop you off from work (She had volunteered to carpool until Eren came back and your feet didn’t feel so swollen) she would do a round around the house, as would Galliard, Zeke, Levi and even Jean that one afternoon he had picked up his son from tutoring and playdate with Kira, Aloisa, and Alexander at yours while their parents went out for fun (it’s not like you could drink with them anyway). You felt lucky having such a supportive team around you and this morning was no different.

“Hey,” Galliard poked his head into your bedroom, arms bracing his weight on the doorframe as his eyes scanned the large room in search of you, his eyes were calm as he politely asked, “Do you mind if I make myself a sandwich before we go? I forgot to pack a lunch before I left the apartment and I like that fancy cheese you two get.”

You smiled at him and released a small laugh, walking over to him you poked his stomach, “I’ll make your lunch if you help me put on my shoes.”

“Deal.” He immediately replied, making way to your shared closet as you sat on the bench in front of your bed.

“By the gods, why do women insist on having so many damn pairs of shoes!” Galliard exclaimed making you laugh even harder before you called, “It’s the pair of flats with the pretty bow in the front.”

You heard shuffling and a loud bang followed by a string of curse words and another thump of something falling before Galliard muttered, “He won’t even notice.”

Six pairs of flats were put in front of you and you almost felt bad at not specifying which pair with the pretty bow you meant. You honestly didn’t even see the pair you were talking about and you internally winced when you realized you had actually left them in the foyer by the door. Seeing how excited and proud of himself Galliard was, you decided not to say anything and picked the nude ones Sasha had bought you for your birthday. After helping you ease into them, Galliard grabbed both your hands and helped you to your feet.

“Oof,” You huffed, and the stupid grin on your friend’s face made you roll your eyes, “Not a word Porco.”

“You’re getting so big,” His hand rubbed your tummy, his smile sweet even though you were fighting the urge to smack the crap out of him, “It’s like a squishy watermelon.”

“Wow Galliard. You sure know how to sweet talk a girl.”

You made way to the kitchen, seeing that the both of you still had time before he had to give you a lift to work so you could finish off some paperwork from the board. Starting on the lunch, you were just cutting up the apple slices when you felt Porco come up behind you.

“What the hell are you-“

“Wait! Just stand still, I saw this online thing where if you lift a woman’s baby bump, it helps ease their back pain.” Instead of shoving him off, you allowed his hands to come around and under your tummy. You actually knew what video Porco was referring to and had been meaning to ask Eren to try it with you but seeing as how your husband was out of town and Porco had already decided to invade your space you shrugged a what the hell.

His hands felt warm as they interlocked, his breath warm as it fanned across the top of your head and he counted down, “3…2…and 1.”

Immediately you felt a weight off your back, shoulders, and abdomen. Your feet for the first time didn’t feel like two cement blocks attached to your legs and you didn’t even fight the moan of relief that escaped your mouth as you leaned back onto Galliard. The muscles on his chest flexing and the sudden weight he was supporting. You could hear him laughing before hearing the front door opening.

“Um-“ Pieck called, “Are we interrupting?”

Being careful not to suddenly let go, Galliard looked up to Zeke, Pieck, and Niccolo and smiled at how you hadn’t even moved an inch.

“I’m helping her back pain.” He motioned to his stance with his eyes, “Got it from some video online.”

“Oh!” Zeke rushed to the both of you, “I’ve seen this too! Can I try?”

Galliard nodded and you consented, feeling him slowly lower your stomach you almost hissed at the undeniable stretch of weight before Zeke who was so much taller than Galliard and bulkier took his place. He had that familiar scent like Eren’s and when you closed your eyes it almost felt as if your husband was the one holding your stomach. You laughed when Pieck cheered, “My turn! My turn!”

“Here Galliard,” You handed the lunchbox to your friend, taking it from your hands you continued, “I put a cheese stick and some pretzels for a snack.”

“She also cut the fruit into little hearts and flowers. Really pretty.” Niccolo said from behind you, his grip a little firmer as he held your baby’s weight.

“I’m a grown man!” Galliard complained, “What are the guys gonna think when they see me munching on some heart shaped strawberries! They’ll think I’m some pansy ass-OH! A go-gurt!”

Pieck looked at you in confusion before you elaborated, “Eren likes them.”

“It’s like my little brother never grew up.” Zeke sighed.

Fixing the last of the papers you yawned, stretching your arms in front of you, you let out a long sigh. Looking around the classroom, you smiled at how clean it was for the first time in weeks. Summer vacation was finally in full swing and as much as you missed your kids, the peaceful atmosphere was a nice change compared to how hectic it could get. You got up from your seat, the smallest of grunts reminding you on how big you were getting. Looking down at your figure you were seriously curious on whether or not you truly only were carrying one child. Walking towards some shelves on the side you reached for a manilla folders to place the important documents in.

Eren walked into the building, the smell of floor cleaner and some other pungent odor reminding him of old times as he approached the front office. Walking in, he locked eyes with the front desk attendant. She was obviously new as the one he was used to seeing was probably older than the entire building, approaching her he let an easy smile stretch across his face.

“Hi, just signing in under visitors.”

The girl whose front desk tag read, “B. Purcell.” Looked incredibly flustered, all that was running through her mind were questions about the incredibly tall and hot guy standing in front of her. She stuttered as she gave Eren the clipboard and noticed how nice his hands were as he gave it back, the flower bouquet in one of them also complimented nicely.

“W-who are you visiting today Mr.-“ She glanced at the clipboard, “Mr. Yeager?”

“That would be Ms. Y/L/N.” Eren still felt it odd sometimes to call you by your maiden name at school, not that he minded. When you informed him that you wanted to keep your original last name for professional circumstances, he was nothing but supportive. Outside the workplace you were Mrs. Yeager, and with Eren you were his princess, angel, and everything else in between. He knew how important it was to you to eventually work your way up in your career, however you chose to represent yourself was up to you and as your husband, Eren only wanted to love and support you through it. He didn’t feel intimidated, he was secure enough in himself and your marriage that you choose not to take his last name in these circumstances was honestly not a big deal. It was just times when men would try to advance on you that Eren felt irked, that’s why he had chosen and crafted you with the largest engagement ring he could find.

“Oh, how nice of you to visit a friend. I’ve met her, she’s…nice.” The tone she used made a crease form between Eren’s eyebrows. She gave him a sticky paper and a marker, and he knew he had to scribble his name on the poor excuse of a visitor’s pass.

“Yeah, she is.”

“It’s such a shame she’s not prettier.” She went on and this time Eren sighed as he stuck the stupid name tag on his dress shirt. Obviously the new girl knew next to nothing about his wife.

“She’s not a friend.” He stated simply and by the look of surprise on her face, he was hoping the scowl on his face made it clear that she was crossing a line. The dense girl did not get it.

“Oh, is she related to you or?”

“Eren?” A new voice chirped, turning his head he saw Mikasa walking in. By the stack of folders in her hands he knew she was probably turning in paperwork for the end of the semester.

“Hey sis.”

“I’m so happy you’re home again!” She put the folders to the side and embraced him.

“Ms. Ackerman,” the annoying secretary called, “Do you know Mr. Yeager?”

“Yes,” Eren picked up on her sharp tone and came to the conclusion that this person was obviously not easy to like, “He’s my brother.”

Eyebrows rose in surprise and curiosity but before she could further question Mikasa said, “Are you here to see Y/N? She’s missed you.”

“Yes. I’m actually heading over now. Galliard told me he dropped her off and I asked him to let me surprise her. How was she?”

Mikasa waved him off, “You know her. She’s a tough bird. However, I’m worried about how much time she’s spending on her feet. It can’t be good for her being so far along in the pregnancy.”

Nodding in agreement, they almost forgot about the unwanted third party until she spoke again, “So does she even know who the father is? I heard so many guys like her, she must have like a great personality or something because she’s not that pretty.”

Mikasa looked ready to kill her, but the sudden head bump she got from Eren stopped her.

“Yeah…you’re looking right at him.” His eyes shifted to meet hers, “I’m her husband.”

The way her mouth was opening, and closing would’ve made anyone laugh if it were not for the circumstances. The smirk on Mikasa’s face did not go unnoticed and even Eren couldn’t help feeling a bit amused, but for anyone to have called you anything short of beautiful did get under his skin.

“Y-you’re her husband?” She raised a finger and Eren nodded, “But how-she’s just so-“

“Out of my league, I know.” Eren cut her off, “I consider myself lucky to have a wife as beautiful as her, but what really drew me to her was how kind and caring she is.”

“Don’t forget about her butt.” Mikasa surprised Eren by her comment, but he knew it was most likely the circumstances causing her to get out of her comfort zone. “You always chat up the guys about how fit she is.”

“My wife is quite the looker.” Eren laughed, “I bought these for her, do you think she’ll like them?”

Looking over the rather large assemble of flowers, Mikasa nodded in approval.

“She’ll love them. I’m not sure if she’ll have room though, everyone keeps buying her stuff before her maternity leave. Mrs. Rodriguez got her some baby books, Miss Emma got her flowers, as did Coach Swain and even Ms. Walker from the band hall-“

“Derek Swain?” Eren interrupted and Mikasa couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re still jealous of Derek? They dated ages ago, Eren.”

That didn’t stop the crease between his eyebrows from forming and the secretary’s muttered curse was heard.

“What the fuck? She even bagged Swain? He’s crazy hot.”

The sound of annoyance made her look at a very pissed off Yeager and she was quick to excuse herself and skedaddle to the backroom.

Mikasa stifled her next laugh when she saw the look of obvious jealousy and irritation on her brother’s features, “You have seriously got to work on your anger issues. She’s six months pregnant with your child, you’ve been married for years, and he’s just being nice. Flowers and lunch does not suddenly mean that she’s going to drop everything and-“

“They went to lunch?”

“Shit.” Mikasa murmured and watched as her brother suddenly marched to the exit.

“Later, Mikasa.” He looked like a man on a mission and she figured it best to not probe any further as he made way to your classroom.

You let out a small groan in discomfort as you moved the folders to the upper shelf behind your desk. You had been sitting for hours as you tried to hurry to finish everything for the beginning of summer. Galliard would be there soon to pick you up and you thought it best to spend the rest of the time on your feet so he wouldn’t have to hoist you up again, but you forgot how much strain it was on your lower back and now you were debating on sitting back down. Looking down at the desk you smiled a bit, things were slowly clearing up and you only had two more folders to go. One, in regard to students in athletics and the other for the board to review your plan for funding summer meals. Your classroom was modest in size and decorated with colors and liveliness, it always smelled of flowers and you weren’t sure if it was because of the aroma therapy you had set up in the corner near the reading corner, your perfume, or the countless arrays of flower bouquets people had given you. Eren leaned against the doorway, watching as you turned to put another folder behind you and the roundness of your breasts and tummy in the pretty sundress you wore made him forget for a moment why he was ever upset to begin with. You really were a sight to behold in his eyes, he meant it when he said he felt lucky to have you in his life, these past few months had been hectic and out of his element. The nights you woke him up to get you mango ice cream from across town had him cursing the whole ride over, but when you’re face lit up when he came back home, it made it worth it each time. These past few days were hell for him, the nights were even worse. Whenever Eren would wake up and reach for you and your swollen bump, he would freak out momentarily before remembering where he was. The hotel room was cold and empty, the blandness of it all made him miss you and your sweet scent. He had missed your morning kisses and the way you would cry over every little thing, even that one time you cried because Eren had slammed one of the kitchen cabinets too roughly and you thought he hated you. Eren had done his best not to laugh as he reassured you that it wasn’t true, going as far as wiping your tears with his thumbs and eating you out on the kitchen floor. Seeing you now was exactly why he had rushed home, mumbling the quickest goodbyes to Armin and Reiner as he all but hauled ass out of the building. You hadn’t noticed his presence and his voice was smooth and husky as he spoke,

“I’ve missed you, Mrs. Yeager.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of his voice, turning to meet those pretty green eyes you missed so much before you stumbled over your tongue-

“Eren?” You took a few steps, arms opened wide and you let out the loudest shriek as you rushed to your husband, “Er-e-e-e-n!”

Eren couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped him as you quickly wobbled over to him, he could swear your stomach had grown over the last five days and as you were finally close enough, he picked you up and twirled you slowly into the classroom. The small cry of happiness only made him hold you tighter.

“Oh baby! I missed you so much!” You yelled when he finally put you down, you remained in the comfort of your husband’s arms. Getting on the tips of your toes to kiss him, he met you halfway quite eagerly and you missed the way he rubbed at your sides. Kissing for a few more minutes, you released him, rubbing your nose with his gently before giving him a large smile.

His hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs stroking your skin softly as he pecked your lips a few more times before saying, “My wife Is so cute.”

Stepping away he bent down to retrieve the bouquet of flowers he had dropped, presenting you with all your favorite colors and you visibly swooned at how romantic he could be.

“My love! They’re beautiful!” You gasped, taking them and quickly heading over to an empty vase on your desk. You tore the plastic film off, dropping them and carefully shifting the flowers to your liking. You smiled at Eren who had followed closely behind, his cheeks coated in red and you reached a hand to brush from his temple to his jaw. The blush deepened as he gave you a sheepish smile.

“I love them, thank you.”

He nodded, bending down to steal another kiss and you shifted closer to him on instinct, taking in his cologne that you missed so much and laughing when he called you out.

“Are you smelling me again?”

Pushing him away, you went back to the files on your desk, “Don’t act as if you haven’t been taking in my scent this entire time too.”

“Baby, I smelled you down the hall.” He laughed, looking over to the corner of the room, “Seriously it always smells of flowers and-“ He sniffed once more, “something sweet.”

“Oh, some of the kids were eating candies earlier.” You opened a drawer and he peeked inside just to chuckle, the confiscated sweets were right next to your stash of fruit gummies and sugar less gum.

“Such a stick in the mud, my angel.”

You pouted before sticking out your tongue at him. He bopped your nose and sat on top of one of the desks, “Go ahead and finish up. I want to go home and make up for lost time.”

You flushed at his words, blushing even deeper at how thoughtful he sounded which was so unlike Eren. He wasn’t a mean hard-headed guy, his youthful days building quite the shitty reputation that followed him well into adulthood. Sure, he could be stoic, unexpressive, and at times a bit overwhelming, but you knew how firm he was on his beliefs, how he saw the world through a realistic set of eyes and how that often-made people uncomfortable. Eren wasn’t given a fair life, he had been dealt some shitty cards and you knew all about the horrors of his past, even the ones he personally caused. He had grown-up eventually, moving past what held him back and wanting nothing more but a life of peace. That’s where you often came to mind, you gave Eren the space to be himself and you treated him as your equal, never looking down at him but also never putting him on a pedestal for which he was thankful for. You humbled him and hearing how lovely the word home rolled off his tongue only filled you with warmth.

“Okay.” You murmured, going back to the few papers as Eren sat on top of one of the desks. You fought the urge to scold him, reminding yourself how much you missed him and only smiled a bit before getting back to it.

You didn’t really feel Eren’s staring at you, too entranced at the new requests for prospective athletes to be given extensions on assignments and you clicked your tongue in irritation before writing down you request to hold a meeting with the coaches. Your husband couldn’t get enough of how adorable you looked, he had already taken three photos of you, the sundress really complimented your skin tone and the swell of your tummy only added to your glowing figure. The crease between your eyebrows made him wonder what it was that had you getting upset and he shifted slightly when he heard you click your tongue, the fire in your eyes was a rarity but it made him feel like a schoolboy all over again and you were the teacher he most definitely had a crush on. Your hair was tied up and Eren tilted his head in a smile as he noted the pencil that was holding up the pretty locks. He thought about what he was about to say twice, then he realized that he was no longer a schoolboy, but instead he was a businessman, and you were his very scholarly, very pregnant, very irresistible wife the words came out smoothly.

“Let me fuck you on the desk.”

“Eren!” You squeaked; his tone was so casual that you dropped the stack of post it notes in hand. You looked flustered as he raised his eyebrows at you in amusement and he noticed how you softly bit your bottom lip before glancing to the door. Eren was quick on his feet and moved with such a quickness that you quietly giggled. You watched your husband close the door, making his way back to you and taking turns looking between you and the desk. He looked way too excited and you raised an eyebrow,

“You planned this?”

He shook his head while smirking, “Oh, I hoped for it.”

“Anyone could walk in on us or look through the small window.”

Eren only shrugged, “We’ll have to be quick then.”

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at how aloof he seemed, “How romantic.”

Stepping closer, you felt his hand softly grasp your chin, tilting you head up at him while his other hand began to explore your backside. You were almost flush against him now that your stomach had grown in size and you noticed how quickly you seemed to run out of breath around your very attractive husband.

“Now, angel. Don’t be rude, we’re married and in love. Even if they do catch us, I’m pretty sure they’ll understand and well who gives a shit? Now be a good teacher for daddy and get on the desk.”

You felt yourself blush as you nodded. Looking at the desk and quickly saying, “Wait! Let me just put this in the pile-“

It was taken from your grasp and Eren read the scribbled front name, his eyebrows coming down in a crease and you came to the realization of what name he had read.

“That fucking Derrick Swine.”

“It’s not Swine-” You began to correct him but the look in his eyes quickly shut you up.

“I heard he bought you flowers…and lunch.”

“Baby,” You warned, “Come on I dated him years ago and it went nowhere. He’s a colleague and nothing more.”

“Which flowers?” Eren began to look around at the vast array of vases before turning back to you, your mouth was slightly agape, and he gave you a pointed look that further pushed you to answer him. Instead, you glanced near the shelves at a particular blue vase that held an array of daisies and tulips. Eren clicked his tongue when he saw it, noticing how much smaller it was compared to the bouquet he bought you and joked-

“Well…that makes two things I beat him in size for.” He looked at you as if for silent confirmation, but you just seemed confused. Eren shook out a laugh as he kissed your head, forgetting that you really did go nowhere with that Swine and he felt better for it.

“Leave it.” He muttered, putting it back on your desk and before you got the chance to protest, Eren hoisted you up onto the sturdy piece of furniture. You were heavier than before, and he noticed the way your thighs had grown in width and internally groaned at how much you were turning him on. Fingers brushed your temple, before going into your hair and you felt the thick locks of hair loosen as Eren removed the pencil holding them up. You were a sight to behold with swollen lips, flushed cheeks, and a low-cut collar that reminded your husband of the last time he suckled on the plump flesh before coating you in his hot cum.

“Lay back, love.” You could only nod, laying back and flinching when your hand bumped a small cup of your favorite pens. You were grateful that the school computer and monitor was stationed on the table next to the desk as you laid down, the upper half of your head not having any support from where the desk ended and you brought your legs up, Eren grabbed you by the back of your knees. Your flesh was soft and warm in his large hands and you didn’t stifle the moan of anticipation when he pulled you closer and your clothed pussy made contact with his front, the excitement of being near you noticeable by the bulge that greeted you.

Fingers moved the pretty lace to the side, your dress bunching up around your hips, and you brought your hand to cover your mouth when Eren began to rub your cunt. Fingers worked wonders as he found your clit and spread your juices everywhere, your breathing was grounding heavier and the kisses he left on your exposed chest only made you tug at his hair.

“I missed you, missed this.” He rubbed faster, eyelashes fluttering as green eyes found yours. Your hips bucked up and you gave a smirk.

“Did you think of me while you were gone?” You couldn’t help but ask, the nights were lonely after all, the both of you so tired that by the time the two of you could be on the phone, only bits and pieces of both your days could be shared before one (Usually you) would begin to speak nonsense from sleepiness before eventually lulling off to restless slumber.

“Every minute of every day.” Eren hummed, kissing a path from your cheek to the dip between your collarbones, “Reiner had to nudge me to focus up during meetings a few times. All I kept thinking was how much I needed you…needed you like this.”

You were shy when you asked the next question, the swirls on the ceiling suddenly seeming so interesting as Eren inserted two fingers inside you, fingers curling in the spongey front that had your thighs trembling.

“Did you-Did you touch yourself?” You whispered the last bit, feeling your cheeks turn a crimson red as your hands gripped his shoulders. Eren shifted into your line of vision and that boyish grin had you calming down before gasping as he fingered you faster.

“I did, it wasn’t even close to the same.” He gave a kiss to your nose and you raised your head and caught him by surprise as you kissed him deeply. You nipped at his bottom lip, boldly licking across the top and Eren took his fingers out you, making you whine silently in protest but watching as he disconnected your shared lips and stood at his full height.

His lips were now as bruised and plump as yours, the smears of your lipstick staining around his chin and his eyes were hooded as he ran his hands all over you. He pulled your panties off, the material shoved into his front pocket, but you could still see some of the lace peeking out.

“Did mommy touch herself while I was gone?”

You don’t know why you felt a bit embarrassed at his question, you looked to the side as you released a nervous laugh and only looked back to your husband when you heard him shuffle. Eren began to unbutton his dress shirt, the muscles of his chest coming to view and as quickly as you could, you sat up. Reaching out for him and swatting his hands. He watched in bemusement on how quickly you worked his shirt, fingers dipping in between every abdominal muscle along the way and you bit your lip as you began to work the buckle of his belt.

“Leave it on.” you said when he tried to take off his shirt, his nod being the only response you got before his hands cupped your cheeks and left multiple kisses upon your lips. Your hand freed his cock from its confines, thumb brushing the tip and you tried to close your legs when his moan was felt in your mouth.

You reached one hand up and let your fingers thread through the pretty brown locks before bringing him closer to your body, lips brushing across his cheek as Eren leaned his weight a bit more on you, his moans and groans deep as you kept moving your hand up and down his hard length. When you paid extra attention to the sensitive tip, your mouth met the shell of his ear and you found the confidence to murmur your answer to his previous question,

“Twice.”

“Ah-h-h, fuck.” Your husband moaned, cheeks the reddest you’ve seen in a while and you didn’t fight him as he shoved you a bit roughly back onto the desk. Your legs were once more supported onto the bend of his elbows.

Eren looked so pretty with his eyes heavy and a hazy look across his face, you wanted him to ruin you completely and make you forget how lonely you had been feeling the past few days. You were never alone, granted, but no matter how many times Erwin let you hold his hand, Galliard let you lean on him, Moblit and Connie helped you at work, or even Levi ruffled your hair, there was the most obvious void that these men could not fill. Although, and you would never admit this to your husband, the one time when Levi came over three days ago to help you with dinner, you had miscalculated a step and almost hit your stomach on the corner of the marble countertop; fortunately, Levi was quicker and spun the two of you around. Unfortunately, he received the sharp blow and the small but noticeable grimace he gave filled you with guilt. His blue button up showed small spots of blood and you were fast to grab the first aid kit and bandage up the rough scratch. You hadn’t missed the way his body felt pressed against yours, nor did you fail to notice how he looked at you with in silent yearning. After he was patched up and the two of you set the chicken to roast, he thanked you quietly. The tug on your hoodie was a bit rough and the brief kiss placed on your mouth couldn’t even be dwelled on as he began to work on the side dishes. Suffice to say, you were red the rest of the time and you had to admit you sat a bit too closely to him during your shared meal.

You weren’t even sure if you felt guilty. Levi was a most trusted friend and advisor to your husband, ever since your pregnancy, Eren had relied a bit more on others to help aid you through the changes in your life. A huge step as your husband had had a knack for being so closed off and broody. You knew you had to talk to Levi soon, his affections were flattering but they were not worth it if the cost was the man you devoted your heart to and have decided to start a family with. You didn’t know if the best idea was to tell your husband, if there was one thing for certain it’s that if Eren’s suspicions were correct and the two of you shared more than just feelings but intimate touches as well, he would feel the most betrayed. The way Eren was currently rubbing his length across your folds had you releasing a moan, the look of utter content on his beautiful features has you forgetting for a moment just how much of a slut you had been feeling like behind his back. You felt the sudden need to remind yourself just how good you had it, tugging on one side of his open shirt and Eren sunk into you easily, both your arousals making you wet enough to accept the welcomed intrusion. Once he was completely bottomed out in you, you felt the slight tickle of his pubic hair lie heavily against your opened thighs. He thrusted a few times, trying to find his steady rhythm and you couldn’t help yourself as you moved your own hips upwards to meet his. Your small whines and mewls informed him on how much faster and harder you wanted him to go and Eren leaned his body over yours, smirk devilish as he encouraged you.

“That’s it baby, fuck yourself on my cock.”

You let your head roll back, the sounds of your desk squeaking and straining against the tile floors made you hot and flush at the fact that just about anyone could catch you two. A well-respected educator who was pregnant laid out on the desk with her tits and cunt out getting railed by a prominent businessman with the body of a Greek god who happened to be her husband. You went on like that for a while, you honestly last track of time and you let yourself get a bit comfortable with being a little loud, you knew the school was basically empty with the holidays and Eren was right. You two were married and madly in love, you had missed him terrible, and you were heavy with his child…and judging by the way he was fucking you, you wouldn’t find it impossible for him to impregnant you again in this position. Your quiet mewls were encouraged, tongues clashing and fighting each other for dominance but the way Eren kept nipping at your bottom lip and pawing at your tummy was enough to make your pussy clamp down on him harder. You could see the thin sheen of swear on his neck and chest and you could only imagine how dazed you looked. His thrusts were consistent and with you squeezing him and practically sucking him in, neither of you were going to last long.

Eren’s eyes flickered up by instinct looking towards the small window on the door and met a familiar pair of eyes. He gave you a particularly hard thrust and a gasped moan was released from your lips, your nails dug harder onto his chest and the red lines were visible. Derek Swain had no idea what to do, his face red in embarrassment and in envy at the fact that he never got to touch you the way your husband was, he never even stood a chance at bedding you or eliciting such sounds, and your baby bump was a constant reminder of how devoted your body and self was to Eren Yeager. He was happy for you, of course. He always knew you would make a wonderful mother and he knew it was something you had always wanted. However, he had to admit that he was often green with envy over the fact that you would be bearing a child with someone else, in particular with the guy he considered a control freak. He wasn’t the only one who thought that way, times where your name would enter a conversation between the male teachers, coaches, and administrators were always followed with positive compliments on your great work ethic, stunning features, and well-rounded personality; nonetheless, it was the mentions of your choice in husband that brought your reputation down. They all thought Eren was a douche, his military record was impressive, but they found him cocky, hot-headed, and too handsome for his own damn good. They knew it wasn’t money you were drawn to, your salary was more than capable of taking care of you and supporting a small family, you were kind and strong with no underlying agendas, so to see you so submissive to a man who now confirmed his suspicions on being rough in bed, was a wonder. Why in the world did it have to be this guy? So many of them thought, the way Eren always took the lead and had you close to his side through events, the times where you would speak of him with such obvious fondness and undisputable love that they firmly believed the grown man did not deserve was irking to say the least. Nor were they able to dismiss the rather impressive size diamond on your ring finger you would unintentionally flash every time you spoke with your hands that only continued to confirm how seemingly rich he was on top of being good-looking and utterly impossible to intimidate. The idea of one day eventually having to coach a son who was the spitting image of his father didn’t settle completely with Swain who obviously still held feelings for you. Feelings that would never be reciprocated and the loud moan that followed in that moment only further confirmed and hurt his shredded ego.

“Daddy!” You swiveled your hips harder, Eren seeming to react to your words and gripping you harder by the legs, the pads of his fingers surely leaving bruises and you could do nothing but let your hands fall to the desk. You gazed up at him lovingly, his dick twitching in your wet slick and you saw how much harder he flexed his impressive abs. You were so lost in the cloud of lust that you hadn’t even noticed how your husband’s eyes only flickered to you for a moment before looking away, one of his hands squeezing your throat and making you pant harder. When he saw Eren smirk at him, eyes flickering down to the way your hands shot out to the sides of the desk, hand bumping a cup that held your writing utensils and not even flinching when they crashed to the floor. You seemed to like being chocked and ruined in such a compromising position, your usually composed and well-preserved self was anything but shy as your moans echoed off the class walls and you begged your husband for another baby, an impossible task but it didn’t stop Eren from grinning at you while encouraging such filth from your mouth.

“Yeah, baby? My little slut wants more of daddy?”

“Yes!” You gasped, your other hand knocking over a small metal folder holder.

“Fuck take it. Take it.” He emphasized with every thrust, you felt him in the deepest parts of you and you could do nothing but let your head grow fuzzy as his name was the only thing you could repeat,

“Eren. Eren. Eren. I-Oh, Ere-e-en.” You knew he was fucking you stupid, but you couldn’t deny how sexy he was and how lucky you felt knowing he was yours and by the way his dick kept flexing in you, how lucky he felt knowing you were all his in return.

It took everything for the coach not to take out his dick right then and there and jerk himself off.

“Is that you can say wife-y? What’s wrong?” He was only teasing you, fingers moving to play with your clit, but you were feeling generous and didn’t mind his ridicules, instead you actually wanted to play along.

“Daddy’s fucking me too hard,” You blushed, “Making princess feel dumb.”

“Oh? Should I stop then?” You shook your head with such vigor that the deep chuckle he released only made you try to close your thighs for more friction. Eren raised an eyebrow, seemingly forgetting that the two of you had an audience that was still unbeknownst to you and instead focusing on making you come.

It didn’t take much, a few more thrust and rubs on your clit and you were quickly gasping out, “I’m close, I’m so close.”

He rammed into you impossibly harder, your thighs turning a bright red with each smack and the growing noises were forgotten as you felt the familiar coiling in your stomach. You also felt the familiar buildup and your eyes grew wide with worry,

“Eren, I might squirt!”

His eyes grew wide in excitement and you knew that he didn’t care about the possible mess you would make. If there was one thing he loved it was you being messy because of his cock. His thrusts became faster and your orgasm racked through your body so harshly that you screwed your eyes shut. You were a vision to behold and Eren followed with his own right after, the spurts of white cum coated your inner walls and could be felt shooting inside your already fertilized womb. The mixture of fluids was too much for you and your pussy contracted and spurt out both your cums in heavy drops on and around your desk. You felt it trail down your ass and pool underneath and even Coach Swain could see the steady rain as it coated your husband’s abs and pool on the tile floor. Your body slumped, worn out beyond belief and you could hardly register the kisses Eren was leaving you until he captured your lips with his. His tongue explored your mouth as he slipped out of you, the small whimper you released only made him whisper the sweetest things to you, hands kneading the flesh of your inner thighs and pussy. You laid there, legs hanging off the side as Eren grabbed the box of tissues on your desk and began to clean you up. Your dress was adjusted before he put you in a seating position and he was even kind enough to attempt to fix your hair and fix your exposed chest.

Another kiss was given, pretty green eyes smiling as he said, “Did I mention how much I missed you?”

You giggled, arms circling around his neck and you laid your head on his chest.

“I love you, Mr. Yeager.”

“Hm-m-m.” He hummed, tilting your chin up and kissing your forehead so gently that you felt yourself melt all over again, “And I love you, angel.”

You two cleaned up, fixing your clothes and you felt a bit bad of how out of order and flushed Eren looked, his hair sticking to his forehead and you could only imagine how you looked. You threw a pencil at Eren when he mentioned your after sex glow and told you to pass it off as a pregnancy glow.

Once everything was tidied up, you snatched the folder from where it was and walked out of the room, turning off the light and locking it behind you before Eren interlocked once of your hands with his. He was holding your bag for you and you had to admit how sweet he could be sometimes, his cheeks blushing at your flattery before grumbling a small threat under his breath.

“Shut up or I’ll make you give me road head.”

“I’d do that either way.” You winked, giggling as you approached the entrance. You turned to the front office and almost cheered at how lucky you were.

“Baby, wait! I have to give this to the front office!” You waved the folder, Eren looking to see a familiar face and smirking again. He led the way and held the door for you, you sliding in and trying not to look as guilty as you felt for fucking your husband just a few moments prior.

“Coach Swain!” You called; the man stiffened where he stood at hearing your voice. He turned to look at you—well technically he was looking anywhere but you—and you did your best at a friendly smile.

“I have those extension papers for you. If you don’t mind, I’ve suggested a board meeting to discuss the details the coaches are requesting. I don’t think extensions will help our athletes, It may only prompt them to procrastinate more so I suggest cutting back on practice and adding in a study hour throughout the week, that way they could feel on the same page as a team and it’ll be fairer for the non-athletic students.”

“Uh-um, I’ll see.” His hand shot out, still not looking at you and you tilted your head.

“Is everything okay, coach?” You reached out to him, your husband immediately tugging at the back of your dress and you were forced to halt your actions. The coach didn't miss the way the upper half tightened on your already strained breasts. You looked annoyedly at Eren, not seeing the coach staring at your chest but seeing Eren give you a pointed look made you huff and accept his jealously to stop you from touching your ex.

Swain finally looked at you, not understanding how you could look so composed and intimidating when just a moment ago you were allowing the man standing behind you nail you on your desk and call you every filthy thing under the sun. He could still see your milk heavy breasts jiggling as well as your round tummy blocking the view of what he knew was a beautiful tight cunt. Judging by the peeks he saw of your husband’s cock; it was large enough to make you submit. His gaze shifted to Eren, whose face was as stoic and calm as ever, he even looked bored to be there. He quirked an eyebrow at the coach as if daring him to say something. His eyes flickered to Eren’s outfit, the crumpled shirt, the two buttons not even fixed and the small peek of purple lace from his front pocket reminding him of his place.

“Everything…is fine.” He grounded out, he took the folder from your grasp, not missing the small yet noticeable wet stain near the bottom and he knew he was going to jerk one out once he was in the comfort of his office to it, imagining himself in Eren’s place then feeling guilty afterwards for pining over a married soon to be mother who was also his ex-girlfriend. He was pathetic and it only pissed him off how your husband Eren seemed to know exactly just that. The tilt of his lips only enraging him more.

“I got to go. Bye Ms. Y/L/N.” He nodded to Eren before hauling ass out and you turned to your husband in confusion, which he seemed to return.

“That was weird.”

“I told you he still likes you.”

“Oh, my dearest, enough of that.” You hushed him, getting on the tips of your toes to kiss him. You had even forgotten about the secretary, wishing her a nice summer break and only getting more confused when she turned red and muttered under her breath when Eren shot her a dirty look. She knew exactly what the two of you had done, not missing the mismatched buttons on your husband or the way your hair was messed up from the back.

You both walked to the car hand in hand, you hummed the entire time Eren opened your door and helped you put on your seatbelt. You undid it only a few minutes into the drive, your husband chuckling as you undid his belt for the second time that day and taking him into your mouth. He almost crashed twice and by the time you got home, and he pulled into the garage. He reclined his seat back to let you finish him off. You were as eager to please as ever and that was the only time he wished you weren’t pregnant so you could climb over and straddle his lap to ride him. Instead, he had you bend over the hood of the car and had you well on your back on the sleek metal by the time the both of you came again.

You were cutting up the onions for dinner, the soft music in the background making you feel happy at the fact that you could cuddle up to Eren tonight instead of a pillow.

“Hey babe!” He called from your shared bedroom and you hummed in response, “…Why is my entire shirt rack on the floor?”

You let out a bark of laughter, shaking your head as you thought: So that’s what Galliard was up to.

411 notes · View notes

chocominnie · 3 years ago

Text

One Last Time 04 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02 03

⇢ Word Count : 4.7k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Last night can’t get out of your mind. It’s not like you to do such a dumb thing. Kissing Jimin... you didn’t know what had gotten into you last night. The last thing you’d ever want to do is have someone go through the same thing you did with Jimin when he had cheated on you. Your mind raced all night thinking if that kiss, that one sole kiss, would make you the bad guy? Make this whole situation worse?

Wrong.

Both of you were vulnerable and just not the same. Of course you’re still tender to the subject of and about him, and forever will have have a soft spot for Jimin. You didn’t expect that to happen though.

‘‘ Yes.. Yes.. Okay.. I understand.”

You drone on for the millionth time today. Only 9 am and calls are making their way to you. You’ve been caught. Someone spotted you and Jimin last night walking to your apartment. Luckily the pictures were only garage scenes of you and him. Jimin’s head hanging low trailing a distance behind you while you hold your sore arm. Thankfully, by the looks of the new articles every damn hour, they think that you had hurt yourself and Jimin was supposedly there for you for comofort.

The fanpages are going to have a field day with that.

Your manager continues to lecture you about how this could start a scandal, how you should of been more careful, and finally that those words everyone has told you before. He wasn’t good to you, move on.

‘‘ Listen im just going to be with Ryan today and she’s bringing Jungkook. We are heading over to Ryan’s office to discuss things and what not.’‘ You sigh into the phone, wanting to hang up already.

Your manager on the other line is hesitant for you to go, but gives in once you say you’ll only be an hour in and out. That’s the only way you’ll get to go out today. Whenever small scandals like this brew up, the management company would make you stay low for the next three days.

You both say your goodbyes and then hang up. Finally. Somewhere in the room Clara lets out one of her tiny meows making you smile to yourself. The day planned ahead is way more exciting than you worrying to yourself

‘‘ Baby please. I have to go’‘

Isabel smirks lowly while shaking her head. Jimin watches her intensively as her hands roam all around his now bare chest, that was covered with a shirt two minutes ago.

‘‘ Jimin, you and I both know that we haven’t had much time to ourselves lately.’‘

Her dainty fingertips trace over his forming abs one by one staring him straight in the eyes. He bites his lip hard just before letting out a useless groan with his head thrown back in the chair. It’s true. With all the celebrity show appearances they’ve had, the quality time together has been cut short.

He ries to pry her hands away from his jeans but it’s no use. “ I have to leave, Jungook wants me at Ryan’s office in twenty minutes.”

Her face turns into a pout, lifting her hands from his jeans. ‘’ So he’s more important than your girlfriend?’’

‘‘ Well I mean he is my blood broth- Fuck!’’

It’ was quick enough to where he didn’t feel it coming. Before he knew it, his jeans were unbuttoned and her mouth glides across the imprint of his shaft hiding behind his boxers. “ We can stop and you can leave.. if you want..” She knows exactly what shes doing by making sure her voice is low and those round eyes meeting his.

His groans only become louder when she takes a long, slow lick from the base to the tip. There’s no way on hell he’ll miss this opportunity to get some head. Jimin’s craving for sex has been high lately and with no time to recieve pleasure, he damn sure wasn’t gonna let up this offer. “ Fuck that. Keep going my love.”

Grabbing a fistful of Isabel’s hair, he yanks his boxers down revealing his thick, hard member hat springs up to his belly button. Isabel smirks at him just before taking the whole thing down her throat making Jimin moan out louder in pleasure. The sound of sucking, wet noises fill the studio’s ambiance.

Jimin watches her intensely while letting out low groans and growls as her bobbing head becomes quicker. This isn’t what he wants truly. What he wants is you. You is who he wishes who’d be pleasuring him right now. The way you’d sometimes gag on him when his dick filled your mouth completely was something he’d always enjoyed seeing. The way your eyes water with him stuffed in your mouth but determined to go on was a major turn on for him. He wants you and only you. Right now in this moment Isabel doesn’t mean shit to him but you do.

He can’t help but to lean back in his chair and close his eyes waiting to chase his high, all with the thoughts of you and your guises past sexual encounters turning him on even more with the lost track of time in the back of his mind.

You on the other hand, wait with Jungkook and Ryan who are getting a bit anxious waiting for the boy’s arrival. You of course didn’t want him to come. It’ll only make things more complicated than it is right now. Essentially you were going to leave when Jungkook said he’d be inviting Jimin.. yet again.

Seeing as though when you were on your way to the office, you had glanced at the clouds and could see a big thunderstorm brewing. You’d rather not take your chances of being rained on while walking back to your apartment.

‘‘ Geez where is this guy? He’s always late ever since he’s been with Isa-”

A shove by Ryan shuts him right up before finishing his sentence. Ryan gives him a glare and a few utters of words to him before turning back to the giant window that gazes over the bright nightlife of Seoul.

One part of you wishes for Jimin not to actually show up but the other does. Just to see his face and reaction too you ever since yesterday. But just for the sake of it, you won’t bring it up. Play it off like it never happened.

‘‘ Was it really necessary for us to come at night? We couldn’t of just come during the day?’’ Jungkook says, walking over to her.

He snakes his arms around his waist placing gentle butterfly kisses around her neck. The reflection off the mirror shows her facial expression, a slight smile as they sway from side to side. A ping of happiness shoots through you at the sight of them. It reminds you of you and Jimin. That happiness quickly shuts down.

You smile to yourself, “Well i’m a model, Jungkook and his brother are idols, and you’re an upcoming fashion designer dating said Idol. ”

Jungkook clears his throat before placing his arm gently around Ryan, “ Yeah she’s MY girlfriend.’’ He says proudly. Ryan shakes her head while playfully rolling her eyes.

You giggle along with her. It’s only been a short while since he’s asked her and he seems so happy and proud with her. Something you wish that Jimin wouldn’t have ruined for you two.

‘‘ Nobody knows we are dating and If paparazzi catches you coming to my office it’s going to stir up something rather it be little or not.’‘ Ryan sighs, sitting down next to you on the white couch.

Jungkook pauses to be silent for a second but continues on, “ That would happen regardless because paparazzi comes out at any time of day. We just so happen not to get caught.’’

Your frail hands begin to play with the sleeve of your shirt at the wrists. Something you do when anxious but trying to keep calm. You’re starting to get annoyed with this couple talk. You’re happy for them but rubbing it in is starting to hurt a bit. Where is he at?

‘‘ You know what im tired of waiting. If he comes he comes. If he doesn’t oh well we already knew he’s an asshole because of that girl now.” Ryan scoffs.

She folds her arms as she leans onto Jungkook who’s now sitting on the arm of the couch. He chuckles at her pouting and sudden anger just before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

You take in the sight of them. Two love birds that mean the world to each other. You wouldn’t dare want nor try to break them up. You knew Jungkook has been waiting for that moment to ask her. When he did on that day Ryan couldn’t of been even more happier.

And if as on cue, that familiar face comes in quietly with two large brown bags in his hands. You choose not to make eye contact with him when he stops infront of the couch, glancing at you.

‘‘ Im sorry im late. I bought food for us..” He pleads for forgiveness. If it was up to you then you wouldn’t have forgiven him. Hell, you still don’t want to forgive him for that act last night. Yet you can’t be a hypocrite because you’re just as guilty.

Jungkook takes the bags from him due to the way to familiar scent coming from them. Jajangmyeon. His favorite noodles of all time. A quick way to earn his forgiveness of anything.

‘‘ You are forgiven don’t let it happen again,” He says, smiling ear to ear as he pulls out his serving of noodles.

Ryan hands you a pair of chopsticks and your serving of noodles. You thank her and look down at the bowl. If you did eat it that means you forgave him, if you didn’t that means you wont. Your mind doesn’t know which one to pick.

While everyone sits there talking amongst themselves you sit there with chopsticks in hand zoned out. You seen the hickies when he had came in. When he had tilted his head announcing his arrival, thats when you saw it peeking from under his scarf. that The dark bruises peaked up and back into hiding whenever he moved.

‘‘ You don’t like the noodles?” Jungkook says, taking a big bite of noodles then slurping them up.

Ryan gives you one of your guises code looks but you give one back to say you are fine. ‘’ Im sorry I was just zoned out.’’

You don’t engage on any of the conversation instead you sit there eating your noodles quietly until they’re gone. That is until the real reason why you are here is brought up.

‘‘ We are here because me and Jungkook have thought about you guys.” Ryan glances at the boy who’s now wiping his face free of sauce.

Great. When are people going to stop doing that though?

‘‘ Ryan come on now, I honestly don’t care. He’s happy with her and I am with myself. Im serious. Please stop thinking about things like this. Im happy can’t you see that! ‘‘ By this point you know you’re all worked up.

It isn’t the truth, but you just want everyone to stop worrying so you could move on. Bringing the whole situation up all the time is draining for you and you’d rather not be reminded of Jimin and what he does and how he’s doing.

Jimin keeps quite with a stare that’s intense on you. You stare right back at him with an emotionless expression. The both of your eyes never leave each-other but you knew it had hurt him. Saying that you’re fine but he knows you’re bothered a lot.

Jungkook sighs heavily, “Baby-Cheeks don’t get all upset now. We are just worried solely on you. Even Jimin is and we all came to an agreement to have this civil conversation right here and now because all of it needs to be addressed.”

You cock your head slightly to the side not leaving Jimin’s eyes. You knew for a fact that this entire conversation is his doing just by Jungkook saying that last sentence.

“ I told you to stop worrying about me. I really meant it. I’m fine. I am F I N E .’’ You spell out the words, then shake your head clearly pissed off.

‘‘ But you aren’t. You constantly lose focus and don’t talk as much. Im worried for you so much that it pains me to even see you like this.” Jimin bites his lips to prevent from breaking down. You know that expression all to well.

That still doesn’t mean he should be worrying about you. You two are no longer together and no matter how many times you scream it to the top of your lungs each time, nobody listens to you.

‘‘ I am fine. I promise you guys. I’ve just had a comeback and they set me on a strict diet for the next few months and I go to the gym more than I used to because that’s what us models do. Since I have been absent for a year now my break time is over. The reason I zone out is because I have a busy schedule and sleep is whenever I can get it so that makes me tired often. I am fine.”

Your explanation is partially true and you do feel bad for lying on some of the parts but knowing them they will keep doing whatever to make things right. It’s time for you and them to stop worrying about Jimin and your relationship with each other.

The group doesn’t say anything after that. You tried to keep the best serious tone you had to explain that to them. Luckily they fell through and believed it. All except Jimin.

‘‘ Now can we move on? Is everything okay now?” You ask, looking at both Ryan and Jungkook. They both shake their head slowly still unsure of what to think.

‘‘ Well since that is over with, lets all take our leave yeah?” Ryan sighs, collecting everybody’s trash from the food. You nod your head and begin to help her while the boys go somewhere in the room to talk privately together.

You don’t care enough to want to know about what they’re saying. As long as they don’t bring anything of worriedness about you again then it’s okay. Soon after the room is all cleaned up you grab your coat and scarf. Jungkook grabs Ryan’s and helps her into hers, zipping it all the way up.

‘‘ My baby can’t catch a cold.” He giggles before placing a kiss on her forehead. Ryan turns a deep red in her cheeks as he continues to dress her properly for the snow outside.

‘‘ Can we talk privately again?’‘ A quite voice says behind you. You knew it all to well. But you don’t turn around at all while slipping your coat on.

‘‘ I’ve thought I made myself clear. I don’t need to say it again. Please just accept it.” The maroon colored scarf is gently placed around you from behind.

You grab his hands to stop him but he’s quick enough to come in-front of you and begin to wrap it for you. “ You lied. You can fool them but not me.’’

You break his hands away from the scarf, making sure to glare at him before you storm out of the office. All of the pressure and just concern in general is getting to you. It’s not like you to get worked up to this point. You hate making scenes and you knew that when you left like that it’s going to spark more curiousness.

The heel of your black suede thigh high boots click down the hallway fast as tears feel the brim of your eyes. Why wont they just leave it be?

After taking the long way out and going down three flights of stairs from the emergency exit, you make it down to the lobby and out the rotating doors.

When you do you almost choke out a whimper at the sight at Jimin greeting Isabel with a hug in which she pulls him down to a deep passionate kiss while waiting in-front of his car.

He was just upstairs dressing you properly, but kissing on her a few minutes later. Typical Jimin.

You bite your lip hard enough for the taste of blood to fill your mouth to prevent from crying right then and there. You can’t show her any sign of weakness. This is what she wants you to do. Cry and breakdown in-front of her to gain victory. She can’t have it. She wont have it.

You slip your hands into the coat pockets and begin your journey down the street. Catching a taxi would be no use. The cold harsh wind mixing with the hard drops of rain feel euphoric but numb to you.

‘‘ What are you doing? You’ll catch a cold for walking in this type of weather!” A voice yells far from behind you.

You don’t bother to look back at him. You up your pace just by a little to get that voice far away from you as possible. He kissed you last night, but kissed her right infront of you. The lump in your throat is sore and your heart hurts with each step you take. Is this how the game goes? It hurts. It hurts a lot.

The wind blows harsh and the rain blows on your face making your makeup wet but not smeared. The mascara running down your face doesn’t matter from your wet tears.

The stop lights turn yellow, red, and then green a couple of times. You count the number of changes before walking past it. Three times total.

Yellow

Red

Green

then back again.

The thunder roars causing you to jump a bit, but you’re numb to any noise around you anyways. You sniffle repeatedly to stop your nose from running but why not just let it run? Why not just let everything go. Let yourself go. Yeah that sounds about right. Let yourself g-

The blackness of your vision is sudden. No chance to react when the sound disappears from it. To the ground your body goes, laying there in a puddle of water. Your eyes blink slowly when you wince in pain upon bringing your hand up to your head. Vision goes in and out, in and out. You can’t hear the disorted person above you screaming and shaking you just before blacking out again.

The look of horror on his face and adrenaline runs through his body as soon as your eyes close. He thinks it’s his fault. His fault for wanting to keep talking to you. His fault for kissing you last night. His fault for stressing you out to your limits for you to walk home instead of asking him for a ride.

Running his hand through his hair, he slowly picks up your limp body. He saw that fall, and that fall was hard. You slipped on a decent sized amount of a dirt and mud mixture from not paying attention. Tears roll down his eyes when he places you in the passenger seat to buckle your seatbelt where your chest rises up and down. A sign of life.

The ride to your house is hell for him. Constantly hitting the steering wheel out of anger from himself and crying loudly wishing for you to be fine and okay. The hospital wasn’t an option right now. If paparazzi saw him taking you in unconcious right after the small scandal, he’d be sure that he’d be on the news for the next two weeks for supposedly abusing you, which isn’t the case.

It doesn’t take him long to arrive, considering he was tokyo drifting through the streets of Seoul. Laying your body on your bed, he sees the bottom of your outfit is dirty with mud. At first he hesitates but keeping muddy clothes on you wouldn’t be right of him.

After picking out some sweatpants, he moves on to your hoodie collection and spots one in the back of the drawer folded into a ball. Jimin lets out a small laugh when he realizes its one of his. It must of ended up here in transit when packing from the old apartment.

Nevertheless, he decides it’s that one you’ll be wearing and not anyone of the others. When it comes time to undress you, he looks away when taking off your clothes and putting the new clothes on. He tucks you in when done, planting a small kiss on your forehead just before going to get an icepack for you to place it on your head.

The sound of cartoons playing in a distance wakes you up. Your eyes stir open until full view. The throbbing of your head makes you wince a little. You’re just as more confused as to when you made it into your apartment let alone your room.

‘‘ You’re awake?’‘

He places the icepack on the back of your head but when he goes to grab your hand to make you secure it, your heart skips a beat when his soft hand touches yours. It’s been a while since you last had his warm touch against yours.

The thoughts in your head stops when he lets go of your now cold hand. ‘‘ Why are you here?” You say, finally looking at him.

‘‘ You fell. You fell on a puddle of mud while crossing over to the next sidewalk.” He sighs, eyes staring at you with anger yet relief. Instead of fighting back for the sake of your throbbing head, you just look down.

Thats when you notice the new set of clothes on your body. You certainly weren’t wearing this hoodie before. In fact you knew for a fact that this particular hoodie was balled up in the back of your dresser drawer. It’s his.

“ You undressed me?” You yell, furrowing your eyebrows at him. You pull the cover closer up to your body out of embarassment but Jimin doesn’t care. He’s more worried about the fall than the undressing.

“ Do you fucking know how got damn worried I was?” Jimin walks over to you with his arms crossed and jaw clenching. You want to hide right about now. “You’re more worried about if I was a pervert or not but news flash, I didn’t even look at you while undressing you. I’m not the asshole you think I am.”

Silence is golden.

‘‘ We all shouldn’t have been out there with a storm coming, but we came to the office for your sake. You keep putting yourself at risk, just stop!‘‘ He semi-yells at you.

You know he’s correct but that doesn’t stop you from forming the lecture into an arguement.

‘‘ Risk? I don’t take risks unless necessary. I was just minding my business and walking home. I guess I wasn’t mindful for that the weather wasn’t suitable for walking. Thank you for tending to me.’’

The boy scoffs with a sarcastic smile on his face backing away from your bed. You close your eyes knowing you shouldn’t of said that. ‘‘ Wasn’t mindful? Really? Why can’t you just listen to me whenever I need you to?”

‘‘ You were with Isabel. I don’t have anything to do with your guys relationship at all. I didn’t want to seem like a threat to her. ‘‘

Jimin sighs and rubs his temples, ‘’ You know you’re hard headed right? Do you think I give a flying fuck if she was there or not? You health and you yourself are important to me. ‘’

Here we go again.

‘‘ I said don’t worr-’‘

Jimin raises up quickly with anger and sadness written all over his face, ‘’ I don’t care what you say. Fucking listen to me when I say so! I’m going to worry about you until the day I die and cannot breathe anymore! Accept it okay?’’ He semi- yells, chest heaving up and down fast.

You keep your eyes away from his. You knew it would happen. You knew he would blow up somehow today.

‘‘ Im not going to accept it. Want to know why? I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I have to accept the fact that you no longer are in a relationship with me Jimin. You need to too.’‘

Jimin sighs, pacing back in forth across the wooden floor while running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, “ I was hoping it wouldn’t have to be like this. I’m not letting it happen anymore. From now on I will be checking on you everyday. Understand?’’

‘‘ No I don-”

‘‘ Understand?’‘ He growls, head whipping towards your direction.

There it goes. Pissed off Jimin. The side of his dominance that he dares anyone to overpower.

‘‘ Jimin you cannot come he-”

He shoots you a glare wanting his question answered now. You bite your lip making sure to shut the fuck up at this point. Anything you say after you know would do damage. ‘‘ Do you. Fucking. Understand?’‘

You nod your head. When he becomes like this there isn’t any way to stop him or change his mind.

‘‘ Good. Im not leaving for the night.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Woah Jimin. Okay that’s too far. That’s considered cheating on Isabel.”

‘‘ It’s not. Not if im not with her anymore.’‘

Your heart jumps at those words. Not with her anymore?

‘‘ You honestly didn’t have to break up with her for me.”

You know you’d honestly feel very bad, but not as bad because she honestly deserves it for being a homewrecker. Then again, what does that make you?

‘‘ We technically are on a break. Im planning to break up with her in a couple of days.” He says, turning the blaring hot heater that was turned on prior to you waking up, onto it’s low settings.

You decide that’s enough of questions and to just enjoy his company there while it lasts. Putting the cover back down, you pick up your phone from the nightstand. A few texts from your manager, a missed call from Ryan. By the looks of it they both don’t know what happened and that somehow relieves you.

Looking back up at him, you notice him turned around about to take off his shirt. His back muscles are evident and flex whenever he moves. You miss those. The way they’d feel under your hands and nails when he used to be ontop of you giving you the best nights of your life.

You hadn’t known he had turned around because you’re too deep in thought recalling those nights. “ Im assuming you like what you see?”

So you’ve been caught. “ No. Put your shirt back on.” Its a lie but you can’t admit to daydreaming about him.

‘‘ Hush im just changing into new clothes.’‘

You watch him go to your bottom left dresser and it all clicks to you. Back when you both shared an apartment Jimin kept extra clothing for emergencies always in the left bottom drawer.

You don’t know why, but you felt that it was tradition to put his extra clothing inside the bottom left drawer when you moved into here. Jimin had left the box of emergency clothing, on accident, with you as the both of you moved out.

When things had arrived here and you started unpacking you had seen what was inside the box. Instead of calling him to retrieve it, you just placed them in the bottom left drawer of your dresser in case something had ever happened where he was in need.

And that scenario just so happened to play out today.

You close your eyes as he casually slips his pants off in front of you. You want to peak but choose not to. ‘‘ Why are you covering your eyes? You’ve seen all of me before.”

And you want to see it all again.

‘‘ Yeah whatever. Im sleepy.’‘

You rub your eyes and let out a quite yawn. You can feel his eyes staring into you so you turn to face him while getting comfortable under the covers.

Jimin turns out the lights first and then the t.v. Pitch black just how you like it.

‘‘ I forgot how cute you can be.’‘ He shakes his head, pulling you closer to him to where you’re laying on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

His heartbeat is relaxing to you. So relaxing that soon enough, the both of you are fast asleep tangled in each-others love.

Once again, you fell for his sweet-talking and little white lies. All because you want another chance, one last time.

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