ciw-i-do-stuff

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

I don't know what I'm doing

I have wasted my life. I’m not even thirty, but I don’t think I’ve ever made a decision I don’t regret. At this point the only reason I haven’t died yet is because I’m a coward. I think I was happy when I was a child, but given how few specific memories I have of actually being happy compared to those where I, at best, feel nothing, or am actively miserable, I’m not even sure if that’s true anymore or if I’ve just been gaslighting myself for the better part of the last decade. 

I’m not planning on killing myself. I know from previous experience that even if I tried I’d chicken out at the last minute, and put myself even further in the hole with medical bills. I’ve found myself in a position where technically I want to be alive, but truthfully if i suffered a grievous injury, or was afflicted with a terminal illness, I would probably try to make it worse because it would have given me the excuse of “Hey, I’m not committing suicide, I’m just speeding along a foregone conclusion.” 

Naturally, with all that, I’ve also been thinking about what happens after I die. Honestly I hope that when all’s said and done, when the last flicker of me leaves my body, everything that could have been me ends entirely. Every thought an electrical signal decaying into heat, everything gone forever. No afterlife, nothing. I freely admit that at least a part of this is probably because most of the stories of personified deaths I have heard or read have those personifications despise those who seek to meet them, and while I can’t say that label fully applies to me, I also can’t say it doesn’t apply at all.

If I am forced to choose though, I hope that a reaper like the one written by Terry Pratchett for the discworld series or Jenny Jinya’s Loving Reaper comes to collect. A Death that offers no judgment for the failings of my life, only encouragement to cast off any lingering regrets and guidance to what comes next. Of course if any singular religion is true, the best I can hope for after meeting the reaper is either reincarnation into a lowly and miserable existence or an eternity in an afterlife whose only feature is being boring. I’ve never been good enough to deserve an eternal reward, and while I’ve never been particularly horrid either, I’ve definitely committed my fair share of blasphemy against basically every religion I have any understanding of. Who knows though, maybe one of the pre homo sapien religions was correct. One that is so old, we will never know anything about it other than that it existed.

Ignoring things like the presence and nature of an afterlife though, I think that here in observable reality I would like to be forgotten. Few have ever stayed in the public consciousness for generations after their deaths because things were going well, even ignoring the monsters of history that ruined everything. Churchill is only remembered because of world war two, if he had been prime minister of britain before, or after, the world wars, the average person would struggle to recognize his name. The same could be said for most U.S. presidents. The events that people remember are catastrophes, and if a historical figure doesn’t get tied to one in some way they probably won’t be remembered. For example, the thirtieth president of the United States, Calvin Coolidge. What does the average person know about him without skimming his wikipedia. I’d wager that most people don’t even remember he was a president until they hear his name and the word president in the same sentence, let alone which one he was or when he was in office. Long story short, most people we remember are not remembered because they were exemplars of merit and ethics, they are remembered because they are the worst of us or because they opposed some piece of the abject filth humanity is capable of being.

I don’t want people to remember me as anything more than a quiet guy who liked to write even though he knew it would never go anywhere because he was kinda bad at it. Someone who kept to himself and avoided involving other people in his problems. But now that I’ve written it out, that might actually be too much remembrance. Ideally, when the time comes, people will have the same awareness of my absence as a stoner barely realizing their roommate walked through the living room.

I realize this has been rambly and in all likelihood a bit hard to follow, so if you’ve bothered to try, I’m grateful.

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

Little Jimmy only knows how to catch and condense magic, he can't cast any offense spells alone. Unfortunately for the city, he was thrown into a free for all with a bunch of dipshits that think fireball is the only spell worth casting

You go to a magical academy where they promote practical and combat magic over the standard hyper complex and over the top spells that are standard and for the first time ever your academy will participate in the imperial academy tournament

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As far as I'm concerned this is Canon now. I don't care if Disney never let's it happen on screen, it's Canon

And Kate’s back with another unnecessarily sad Star Wars comic! Have fun!

I’m not sure if Leia and Vader will meet but if they do there just has to be… something.

The bonus page of this comic will be up on my patreon (hopefully) later today for level 3 patrons!

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The farmer is a bard that couldn’t afford an instrument as far as I'm concerned. Especially with the failed deception roll

The council is baffled by how a humble and poor farmer succeeded in taming a dragon, a feat demeed impossible as kings and the most powerful archmages have failed for centuries.

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You fool! Have you learned nothing from anime?

“Parry this you filthy casual.” You pull the trigger… and begin to panic as the Knight ACTUALLY parries the bullet.

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Some wall street dipshit has been turned into snowflame

On a random day everyone is given a super power based on what they were doing in that moment, people who were reaching for something can now stretch like elastic, people who were running now have super speed. You really wish you were doing something else when it happened…

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Not to be confused with Chiijohn, the mascot created by John Oliver to keep Shinjo-kun company after Chiitan was exiled from Susaki

thank you chiitan

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The superheroes have had enough of minimum wage, no benefits, no 401k plans, and being forced to pay high taxes. They decide to protest the unfair circumstances and surprisingly, the villains support their cause.

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Shen that was cyanide mixed with red 40

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Death stops you immediately. "Kid I appreciate the effort, but we've been in what you would call a common law marriage since before any of these words existed. We're arguing for the same reason prosecutors and defense attorneys argue"

You have been in a long, lonely coma. One day, Life and Death visit your consciousness, and get into a heated debate about what should be done with you. Indifferent to your fate, you like hearing them argue like an old married couple, and decide to try and set them up with each other.

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I like to imagine marquis is functionally retired from supervillainy he just does super villain things when he needs to take his day out on someone that won't break when he does it

You are a rookie hero. While a dangerous supervillain was preoccupied, rival villains kidnapped his wife. You were the only hero willing to help get his wife to safety. The terrifying supervillain now wants to thank you in person.

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

The catholics

You are The Evil King, and you are looking down at the body of your most fearsome and deadly fighter; all you can see is the orphaned baby girl you found all those years ago in the remains of a destroyed village.

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The internet then?

You are a hivemind. You have successfully talked a man down from the edge and they have, consensually, been assimilated. Bad news, now the entire hivemind is depressed.

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town

academy

adventurer's guild

alchemist

apiary

apothecary

aquarium

armory

art gallery

bakery

bank

barber

barracks

bathhouse

blacksmith

boathouse

book store

bookbinder

botanical garden

brothel

butcher

carpenter

cartographer

casino

castle

cobbler

coffee shop

council chamber

court house

crypt for the noble family

dentist

distillery

docks

dovecot

dyer

embassy

farmer's market

fighting pit

fishmonger

fortune teller

gallows

gatehouse

general store

graveyard

greenhouses

guard post

guildhall

gymnasium

haberdashery

haunted house

hedge maze

herbalist

hospice

hospital

house for sale

inn

jail

jeweller

kindergarten

leatherworker

library

locksmith

mail courier

manor house

market

mayor's house

monastery

morgue

museum

music shop

observatory

orchard

orphanage

outhouse

paper maker

pawnshop

pet shop

potion shop

potter

printmaker

quest board

residence

restricted zone

sawmill

school

scribe

sewer entrance

sheriff's office

shrine

silversmith

spa

speakeasy

spice merchant

sports stadium

stables

street market

tailor

tannery

tavern

tax collector

tea house

temple

textile shop

theatre

thieves guild

thrift store

tinker's workshop

town crier post

town square

townhall

toy store

trinket shop

warehouse

watchtower

water mill

weaver

well

windmill

wishing well

wizard tower

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

I've been writing again. If you have young relatives here's a bedtime story

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aB0RtFKpmSlxP54NLl5EOTMmHxwe3715vyX9akASfFU/edit?usp=drivesdk

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

Did he stutter? We're dumb as shit

how do you tell if a boy likes you?

U just gotta ask 'em, man. Boys are stupid as shit, I'm not even kidding.

[ciw-i-do-stuff]

Elvish presley

Elves declare war on humanity, but because usually other races live hundreds of years, and that’s the time they give humans to prepare. And they may be more agile, have better reflex and everything, but for the humans… Hundreds of years is a lot of time…