#i would have rather never been born at all rather than being their bandaid

[krc-krc]

Divorce is the LEAST destructive way of parting ways if people don't work out, regardless of how they got together. I'd rather people divorce, than e.g. kill each other or themselves because they won't/can't

i love divorce i love when people realize that they aren't a good fit for each other and get divorced about it. more people should get divorced

[agorejessstone]

How Hira Changed My Life - DRAMA

At just 29 years old, I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer.

Sort of the cherry on top of a sundae made Sjogren's.

As the eldest daughter of a lower middle class American family, I was responsible for more than just my education growing up.

While I was an avid writer, reader, dancer, artist, and vocalist, I was never given the same opportunities as my siblings. When they were being totted off to this practice or that recital, I was forced to focus on my homework, and whichever sibling was not old enough to attend.

That's not to say I didn't get to play a sport or join a club here and there, but overall, I was heading down a path of self destruction.

A people pleaser, avidly ignoring all the issues I'd acquired along the way, in pursuit of other's happiness.

There is nothing quite like a near-death experience to make you reevaluate your life.

6 years ago, I beat cancer, or at least, began my journey into remission, where I remain for the time being.

I decided that it was time to put down the dish rag, quit all but one of my three jobs, and get to know myself better. I'd carried the need to be the caretaker in to adulthood, and the effects were devastating.

I set out to write and publish my first full length novel. I'd written plenty before, but I never had the time, energy, or confidence to publish.

In July of 2021, I published my very first novel in a six part series that I am still working on today: Legend of the Sylph, but that wasn't all I wanted to do.

In 2016, I'd started a podcast, during my diagnosis, I'd been forced to focus on my health, and put that podcast on hold.

By 2018, fond memories resurfaced, and I decided it was time to try again. Heiress Anonymous was born as a faceless online artist, with a heart of gold, and a lot of stories to tell. I even included a weekly advice section, and things were going pretty well.

Until my youngest brother took his own life January 2019, 2019.

Being one of only two siblings that I was close to, and only 19, that loss shook the very core of our family, and it nearly defeated me a second time.

Struggling to keep my depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar under control, I did the only thing I thought I could do.

I got help.

During my inpatient therapy, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what made me happy, so that when I left that place, I could find something, anything, that made life seem less like wading through the layers of hell, slowly as an ant through tar.

I'd lost so many pieces of myself and I was tired of slapping a bandaid on a gaping wound and telling myself, and everyone else, it was just a scratch.

Dealing with everyone else's needs and desires, while neglecting my own was causing my Sjogren's to flare up more often than it should. My body wasn't cooperating, and my mind, oh that poor fella was more foggy than a black and white film.

Again, I started to do things I was passionate about.

I started with an online game after Duskwood's completion.

Each month, I'd write a new story, and a team of artists would help me develop a location map, clues, and characters for up to 30 people to play. It was the most fun I'd had in a while.

During this time, I was also playing other immersive games.

Mystic Messenger, The Seven Endgame series, and The Sign.

During my playthrough of the Seven series, I happened upon some... rather cancellable translation errors. In a moment of "Please don't cancel the only games I enjoy", I typed up an email to Reality Games, the developers, offering to scan the rest of their games for similar issues.

I was surprised when my wonderful friend Mel emailed me back, offering to let me test and correct The Healing, their upcoming title.

I accepted right away.

Then I had a thought... What if I took the team I'd been working on games with, made an actual game?

Astro Hollow was born. (Hopefully we'll be completed by 2025. It's not easy now that I have such a small team.)

During The Healings production, I asked if there were any unfilled roles. After knowing me for some time. Mel suggested Hira, and the rest is history.

Reality Games Fandom group was started on FB.

There, I met many great fans.

And some not so great fans.

One of them stood out to me. Stefi, who plays Ina.

She came to me as a fan, but we became fast friends. Similar to some of the others. She expressed her desire to become a voice actress, but was hesitant.

I spent weeks, months even, building her up, encouraging her, offering to help coach her lines, etc.

I introduced her to the group, set her up to mod the RG Fandom so she could learn the ropes and get used to fan engagement.

I even invited her to co-host a podcast.

Things seemed to be running smoothly. Until she decided that she was too busy to steam, but with the German meet and great looming, and her insistence that she go, I wholeheartedly understood.

I offered to hold her place on the podcast, until she had more time.

Tongue Tied Games and I had chatted before on reddit. Imagine my surprise at how small the world is, when I found out he played Charlie! We streamed together for the first time about a year ago, and we just clicked.

Preston and I became fast friends as well. (Cedrik - The Sign EN) His sense of humor is the stuff of legends.

I met all sorts of nice people.

Serge definately stands out to me. Such an amazing, witty guy.

I can't say enough good things about the Author's.

Daniel and Tim especially.

I'd forgotten how dark the internet can be, with all the light surrounding me.

I hadn't stopped to think about the fans, and how this could easily turn into an introverts parasocial hellscape.

For months, I tried to be the bigger person.

I ignored the whispers, the rumors, the blatant disrespect, but something happened that made me realize that if I don't stick up for myself, no one else will.

So here I am, explaining how one of the most important turning points in my life, has become the darkest time.

A fan, whom I will not name, and whom I've never had a conversation with, immediately disliked me. For the past 8 months, I've tried and tried and tried to figure out who or what or why this happened. They don't seem to know themselves. But to anyone that would listen, I was "mean". I didn't "value my friendships".

I was so dead set on not disrupting the community I loved, that I didn't speak up.

Ina was one of those people who turned their back on me.

I asked them why they'd take their word over mine, after everything I'd done.

I'd vouched for them, coached them, let them sit with me while I edit, introduced them to the group, supported them, helped them learn and grow, shared with them, both professionally and privately.

I could not fathom this turn of events.

In fact, I had not even considered it as the catalyst for her quitting the podcast.

It wasn't until a very dear friend of mine, nearly took her life, because she was bullied by this very same member (I'd give you there name, but honestly, I suspect there are many many names they go by) that I'd finally had it.

See what I mean?

I'm quick to defend and protect other people, but I'll let others tear me apart before I disrupt the peace.

I reached out to my mods, and let them know what was happening. They were appalled, to say the least. One even tried to mediate, but of course that didn't work out.

There was nothing to mediate.

This was a para social nightmare.

Growing up, being sickly, I'd never found myself beautiful, but in recent years, that has changed.

Health and happiness have made me a better person, physically and mentally.

Imagine my surprise when I was edged out by women who were intimidated by me, in a group that I was part of, long before most of them.

Imagine consitently helping others, and being forced to step back for a few months, only to come back to someone new, determined to make themselves "Queen PICK ME" or some shit.

I truly still do not understand it.

I've tried countless times to figure it out, but in the end, these are people who want to keep someone to themselves.

Who flirt with a stranger online, thinking they know them, but chastise anyone else who dares to do the same.

I'd seen it.

I'd recognized it.

I choose to ignore it.

FFS - I've got someone I care about already. Who in their right mind would intentionally ruin that for someone they've never even met? Someone they don't know? That's just a silly thought to have.

It has to be jealousy....

Do you know how many times I've been told that, and chose to ignore it, because I cannot fathom what there is to be jealous of?

After I shared my story with mods, the universe answered with a call of it's own.

Message after message from others within the community, who'd been wronged by this person.

Who'd felt unwelcome in the community.

Who'd been attacked, bullied even, out of the groups.

I was shattered.

A near death, a dozen victims.

I reached out to the group owners, and cleaned up my own, but no one made a move to correct the behavior.

Is that what being an "influencer" is?

Should I be reaping the benefits without any of the responsibility?

No.

I refuse to let people suffer, because I don't want to speak up.

I was scared, truth be told, because I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away.

By time I realized that wasn't the case, so many other people had been influenced by this person's word.

This person, whom I'd never had a conversation with.

This person, who I'd promoted their "fan art".

This person, who was continually looking for excuses to hate me.

This person, who clearly knows nothing about me.

And yet, this person was going to win.

I haven't said a word in 8 months.

I've blocked and removed myself where ever I can, but this person, these people really, still haunt me.

The horde gets larger every day I stay silent.

The one who said they weren't feeling the podcast, took the name I had for the post finale of Orphans, and the people I had invited, and did their own, but I knew that was happening, and said nothing.

Until someone came to me and asked me, "Weren't you the reason that Stefi joined the cast as Ina?"

I replied yes, and the flood gates opened.

Stefi was a fan.

She came to me as Hira. Said she liked the character.

We started to chat. Became friends.

I encouraged her to email her audition to the team.

I reached out to the team and told them to give her a chance.

I coached her lines from the first few episodes.

I GOT HER THE ROLE AS INA.

She now gives credit to TT.

If you don't believe me, I have the podcasts still up on YouTube, where we talk about it in detail.

At first, I was sure that she was being manipulated.

Part of the reason that I was adamant that she join the team, was who she is as a person.

She's LGBTQ and on the spectrum. It's very important to me, especially after all of my struggles, to make sure that everyone finds something they're passionate about and doesn't let anything hold them back.

For months I thought she was being taken advantage of. Manipulated.

To discover otherwise was absolutely heartbreaking for me.

Imagine how shattered I was, when someone from the German fan meet up, said she's been telling people that since the German Fan Meet and Great in AUGUST 2023.

I feel used.

I'm at a low I'm not sure I can recover from, especially because she continues to say and do things just to get at me.

I've done what I can to block and move on, and I continue to leave communities I cherish, because of these ghosts.

It's like I'm Sandy, but for real this time, and trapped in that damned Orphanage.

Will we share a similar fate?

Will I let devistation consume me?

Have I made the right decisions?

Time will tell.

I'm leaving most names out of this on purpose, but I'm setting the record straight on how Ina came to be part of the community.

I'm so sick and tired of supporting people from behind the curtain, while actively being used as a doormat.

I love working for RG.

This has nothing to do with the company itself.

Cast will be what cast will be.

I love voice acting. I love writing, so even the editing process is fulfilling, but man I still had a lot to learn about how selfish the industry is.

How competitive.

How jealous and manipulative.

Watching people argue over someone they've never met.

Someone they've never seen.

Someone they don't know.

Watching them gatekeep the communities they stay in, running off anyone who isn't an OG.

Kind of defeats the purpose of supporting that creator, when you're driving good people out.

I'm starting to wonder if the internet isn't going to be our downfall.

If we'll ever truly understand the effects of parasocial relationships.

While I love the work I do, and many of the people who follow me, I cannot condone gatekeeping, lying, manipulation, cheating, stealing, copying, and outright bullying.

Stay in your lane.

At the end of the day, you don't know me.

Very few of you do.

You don't know her, him, they, them.

You just don't.

Speaking or acting on the behalf of others, lying about the people who helped get you where you are, no matter how you feel about them, is just plain messed up.

As with everything else in my life, I've learned a lot here.

I don't love parasocial relationships.

They fascinate me, until they piss me off.

Obviously this is NOT all of what occurred here. There are plenty of screenshots, and stories, but the bottom line is that I'm being pushed around, and I'm tired of staying silent. I work too hard, and help too many people, while barely being able to lift my head up to do so.

I've had it.

If you want to join a discord community where bullying, will not be tolerated: https://discord.gg/C6Edjk3AhX

Please remember. Just because you recognize their face and you know about them through the internet, does not mean you KNOW them.

Please treat actors/streamers as human beings, but also as "entertainers".

Respect their privacy.

Do not speak on their behalf.

Do not bully their followers, even if they are extremely hands off, or they expect the community to police.

You can easily turn one of the BEST things that's ever happened to someone, into one of the worst.

The results can be deadly.

[selchwife]

Desire, Future, and Mistake for SW!Pfeil :3c

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

honestly, i think he just wants to go home. not zygerria or the shipyard on orphan or anywhere he's been, but the Idea of home. some anonymous apartment on some anonymous planet with a boring job and a normal life. he's probably about as open about it as he is about anything else. whether he tries or not, he's never getting that. it's just not what happens to force adepts or long lost princes. he's cursed with narrative relevance and sentenced forever to being Interesting, poor guy

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

this is a hard one! given his self-destructive tendencies i think Dead is a pretty bad and very possible future for him, but it also feels a little cheap to list. i think a more salient one to list is one where he stays with polydegmon because of the desire above: a stable, "normal" life. all the politics in the imperial palace aren't pfeil's favorite, and he wouldn't like it or call it "normal" necessarily, but compared to his lifestyle with the rebels it's a LOT closer to his desire for a safe and mundane existence. he doesn't take many steps to avoid this up until he finally has the opportunity to escape (and until polydegmon probably engineers some stupid argument to rip off the bandaid), but his conscience eats at him the whole time.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

it feels too easy to say it's what happened with his mom (for those unaware: accidental use of the force that killed her during a fight they had, bc she was abusive), especially because it wasn't like, intentional. but i think HE looks at it as his worst mistake, and he really hasn't moved on or fixed it in any way. in fact, he's kind of neglected his arguable responsibility to clean up the resultant political mess from his mother's presumed assassination and his own presumed kidnapping, because going back to your childhood home where you were abused in order to try to engage your complicit family members as political rivals is understandably a hellish ask for a guy whose deepest wish is to be a no-name minimum wage cashier at Space Mcdonalds. whether he ever WILL go back and clean up that mess personally is something i'm still not sure about. i think he himself is torn between his feeling that he's obligated to fix the problem because being born into power gives him a responsibility to his people even if he doesn't want it and his feeling that he would rather peel himself like a banana than look at his stupid relatives again and go back to the place he capital h Hates more than anywhere else in the universe. maybe running away was more the mistake.

[they-are-a-prolife-autist]

So this is my introduction.

The recent overturning of Roe v Wade has sparked- or rekindled rather - the debate about the morality and necessity of abortion (the medical removal of a human fetus from its mothers uterus.)

I’ve seen and heard many say that it’s absolutely necessary and argue for its protection in the name of children in foster care, children who suffer abuse, children who grow up in poverty, children who will be disabled, and of course… mothers who don’t want children. So I've decided to speak up about my own perspective and experience.

Hi.

I am an autistic (disabled) woman who grew up in poverty. I use they/them pronouns.

I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused as a child, and I am a survivor of incestuous rape. I have six younger brothers and sisters, most of whom were born after my mom began loosing her vision. She’s now a single disabled mother of 7 kids, whom she loves. According to the pro-choice mindset, (and I have been told this to my face,) my life isn’t worth living, and my mother wronged us and herself all by allowing us to exist.

I have been told that abortion would have “saved” me, any of my siblings, or my mom even from a miserable existence. I have been asked "how can we allow families to live in poverty? How can we allow the suffering of disabilities? Don't you want to end suffering like yours? Like your families." <- Besides the manipulative wording of questions like these in regards to abortion, the mindset that abortion would "save" us from our lives as minorities is ableist, classist, frankly sexist, and wrong. My mother is the strongest woman I know; not just because she carried, birthed, and raised 7 neaurodivergent children in a home with a narcissistic man all while gradually going blind, but because she loves each and every one of us, sees the value in all of our lives, and never once considered we would be better off not living for our sake or for hers. I will always be grateful that she knew our value as human beings before we were even born.

I find the concept that my death would have been better than my rape, my disability, or my upbringing as a impoverished child extremely offensive. I deserve better than that. Society deserves better than that. Women deserve better than that. My death would not have been preferable to my abuse or to being poor. I learned that after my first two suicide attempts.

Killing me or my siblings wouldn’t have made my mother safer or more happy, but rather would have deprived the world of 7 beautiful neurodivergent lives that are still worth living. The argument that abortion is necessary to prevent lives like mine and to protect my mom from us rather than our abuser is horrendous.

Abortion is used as the failsafe excuse to remove other options. Who needs free birth birth control when you have abortion? Why advocate for better healthcare for pregnant mothers, more protection from abusers, more resources for poor families when, better sex education, or birth control and sterilization rights when…. We can just cover up the issues with abortion. Abortion doesn’t solve any problems. It doesn’t save lives. It doesn't give women an equal seat at the table. Rather, it furthers our oppression by telling us that the only way we can succeed is to adjust our biology to be more convenient, to wage war on our children so we can have an education. This culture of death and quick fixes is a grotesque bandaid hastily plastered to the bullet wound that is our societies selfishness and lack of compassion for the truly weak and vulnerable.

Using the impoverished, the disabled, the sufferers of abuse, and children in a broken system to justify abortion in the name of lives unworth living? No. You don’t get to use people like me to justify wiping us out before we get to live. Despite my circumstances and the suffering I have experienced, my life is valuable. You really want to help us? Stop advocating for our death and advocate for real lasting change.

Or sure… you can call me a forced birther, call me sexist, throw around slurs and death threats. I will continue believing the right to live is the most important of all human rights. I will continue defending the value of lives like mine, and despising this “cure all” for all the issues that make having a family, or just EXISTING hard for people like me and my mom.

I’m Ashe. Nice to meet you.

[always5hineee]

Anointed (Enhypen x Reader) - Chapter 4: The Greater Good

Word count: 2,196

Chapter warnings: Mild language, mild themes

-----

       "Your majesty." Heeseung made is way into the separate bedroom, the place where he and Jungwon resided in this less-than-ideal hotel scenario. It made the most sense, as Jungwon was the leader and Heeseung his right hand source of information, but in this particular moment, it admittedly bugged the king that he couldn't have more than four seconds of peace.

       "Don't call me that, Heeseung." Shrugging, the younger god sat down in the flimsy office chair, idly spinning in slow circles.

       "It was worth a shot. Trying to warm you up before I start bothering you."

       "Yeah, well, you're bad at it."

       "Noted." He rolled his eyes. "Listen, I've been doing some calculations, and I wanted to double check with you on something." Eyebrows furrowing, Jungwon turned his body slightly more in the direction of his friend.

       "There's nothing I could confirm that would be any help."

       "Normally I'd agree with you," he concurred, irritating the man even further, although he didn't notice, "But in this case I don't think I have... all the information. I was hoping you may be able to fill in some gaps."

       "Well, uh... I can do my best?" Nodding, Heeseung summoned his tablet, only briefly disapparated for his walk into the next room. Furiously typing with almost ineffable grace, he projected a diagram, although this one more simple than many of his others. Rather than countless graphics and tiny notes, this one was a simple web map, each note clearly written, even if it was by hand. He had admittedly gorgeous penmanship for being such a quick-paced person.

       "So," he gestured to the center, "the seventh god."

       "With you so far." Jungwon joked, grin quickly sinking as he didn't receive a laugh.

       "Well, we agreed that we didn't know what would happen, but I was thinking..." He cleared his throat. "You were there when the world was first forming, were you not? You were born from the Earth."

       "I... yes? What's your point?"

       "So, you saw what it was like with no gods. And you never seem to talk about it."

       "It was a long time ago." He argued. "And it was a lot of pressure that I don't want to relive, so I'm sorry if that's offensive to you, but-"

       "All I'm saying is that you should know. Or you should at least have some information that could help us work it out in certainty. We have to be prepared for what may come."

       "So what, you're saying that I do know and I'm just not saying anything?" Jungwon asked angrily. "Even if I did, it would be within my right to retain that information as the king if I thought it was for everyone's best interests." Eyes narrowing, Heeseung's scowl quickly changed from a defensive one to a glaring attack.

       "Well, that wasn't what I was saying, but now you're making it seem like you do know."

       "I- how would you- why-"

       "I'm not stupid, Jungwon. You need to tell me."

       "No."

       "So you do know."

       "No! I- I don't- it's not like I could even predict that kind of thing."

       "You have ideas."

       "No! Yes! Maybe? I don't-" Groaning in exasperation, he shouted, "Just get out, okay?"

       "Absolutely not. This is a matter of safety. I could do something to stop it if you would quit being a baby for fourteen seconds."

       "Get out, Heeseung."

       "But I-"

       "Get out!" Nearly screaming, Heeseung headed towards the door, slamming it behind him as he furiously stormed out into the room where the boys and Y/N were getting ready to go. All of them stared wide-eyes as Heeseung did this, approaching her at such a quick pace that she reflexively backed up, but he was quick to grab her arm. Reaching up, he pulled out a piece of her hair, eliciting a yelp.

       "Ow! What-"

       "Stay still." He demanded, putting the hair into a glowing vial that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Waving his hand, a syringe of similar color conjured into his palm, which he was quick to stick into her arm, pulling about an ounce of blood. Pulling it back out, he waved a hand over her arm, a bandaid appearing and disappearing in a matter of seconds, the wound completely gone. They all stared as he took the two pieces of equipment and walked out the hotel door. Staring at each other, Jake, stating the obvious, commented,

       "Well that was weird."

       Heeseung was fuming as he searched the city for somewhere to do his work in peace. Scanning the area, he found a high-school gym that was seemingly empty, about a half-mile away. It didn't take much effort to appear in the courtyard, stomping towards the door and jiggling the handle, which was obviously locked. Pooling an ivory, jelly-like substance in his palm, he squished it into the lock, solidifying and turning it. The door creaked open, revealing the dusty gym, lit only by the strip windows lining the top.

       Shutting the door behind him, he set the vial and the syringe down, walking to the center of the basketball court. Away from the other men, he was finally starting to calm down, breathing in the distinct odor of rubber and last year's P.E. clothes. He'd always had a soft spot for humans' sports, especially basketball. They were a suitable way to pass the time, although admittedly wasteful considering how short their lives were. Conjuring up a ball, he absentmindedly threw it towards one of the baskets, making it easily, the sphere disappearing before it ever hit the ground.

       Finally, he walked back over to the bleachers, picking up his materials and moving towards the center of the floor once more. Setting them down, he begun reassembling a similar workspace to his one in the celestial palace. They weren't dissimilar to computers, although clearly more advanced, none of them requiring the same hardware as a human device. In a sense, they were all connected directly to his mind, executing whatever programs and recalling any information he needed in a moment's notice, far more efficient than anything a mortal could create.

       Placing the biological samples in their respective places, he could see their molecular structure with ease, and derive her health as well. As far as he could tell, her heart was functioning fine. Of course, this method of study could not account for any skips in beats or instantaneous issues, but biologically, it wasn't degrading. Her DNA wasn't special in comparison to any other human's, and he couldn't find any indication of why she had been chosen as the host. That left some sort of personality compatibility that she must share with the seventh god.

       With all this in mind, all he could do was start preparing medical measures to assist with the birth, as well as some more effective pain treatments compatible with her physiological makeup. He'd barely been able to get through twenty minutes of his work before he heard the door of the gym open once more. He quickly hid his presence, glancing over to where the light was streaming in, footsteps echoing in the empty space. Quickly, though, he felt his irritation return as a familiar voice said,

       "I can still see you, you know."

       "I thought you were a human." He spat as Jungwon walked towards his setup on the floor. "How did you find me?"

       "Tracked you. You didn't go very far."

       "You're the one that wanted me to leave, I'll remind you, so you can keep your sick power plays to yourself."

       "I'm not here to make a power play."

       "Oh, feeling guilty already?" He mocked, but Jungwon ignored him.

       "I know what's going to happen if the seventh god dies."

       "I know."

       "If he dies, his energy will be scattered, creating a sort of big-bang effect over the surface of the Earth and then out into the Milky Way. Depending on the magnitude and the direction, it could rupture cities, stars, planets, everything. The older he gets, the stronger the blast will become when he dies. After this, assuming the Earth has survived at all, the pillars will be permanently  imbalanced, and if they remain this way, it's the human soul that will be affected the most. Every sentient creature born from that moment on will have an integral piece missing, the result of which I'm not sure I can predict." Heeseung was silent for a moment, typing something in on one of his keyboards.

       "Okay." Jungwon didn't even know how to respond to that at first.

       "Okay? That's all you have to say? No thank you or theories or help? You know, for someone who wants everyone to think he's so smart, you sure are-"

       "I"m not going to thank you for giving me information I should have been operating with from the beginning." Heeseung cut him off coldly. "As for theories, I have a few, but I don't see why I should provide them to you."

       "Because it's going to affect all of us?"

       "Oh, and this whole bit about the end of the world isn't?" He laughed. "You really don't have any perspective, do you?" Jungwon was silent, but finally, Heeseung continued, "But since I'm a better person than you, I'll at least say this." He paused, typing in something else, then turning around what seemed to be a kind of whiteboard, listing out a few things in large letters.

       "Option number 1: we terminate the seventh god now before the risk becomes to great. We then distribute the responsibilities of the final pillar among us as best we can. The balance will never be perfect, but it will be controllable. At his current age, I'd assume he has the firepower of a particularly strong nuclear weapon. We bring Y/N out to some desert, set her off, and hope for the best." Pointing to the next line, he said,

       "Option number 2: we let her try. Best case scenario, it all works out, he's born, all our lives continue as normal. This is ideal of course, but the consequences of failure are astronomical. Option number 3:" he pointed again, "we attempt to remove him from her heart and into another organism, such as an animal, that won't have any other choice but to continue the birth successfully. I'm confident in my ability to pick a strong candidate, but I can't predict the compatibility. At best we can find one that reminds us of Y/N, but we admittedly don't have a strong grasp of her as an entity yet."

       "All of these sound like terrible options." Jungwon pointed out.

       "Wow, a real genius we have over here. Now let me run my calculations in peace. I don't have to tell you that I don't appreciate you interrupting me."

       "Well, I thought you should know."

       "Too little too late, your majesty. Now, if you'll excuse me." Jungwon stood in silence for a few minutes, but it was clear that Heeseung had no intention of saying anything else to him. He'd come around... eventually. But for now, it was probably better to get out of his hair.

       As Jungwon left, he cursed himself for making such a big deal out of it in the first place. He thought it would be better to let everyone carry on without the stress of knowing that the fate of the universe rested on this one long, complicated ordeal, but from Heeseung's perspective, he'd just put them in more danger. Jungwon wasn't sure whether he planned on publicizing this information, and if so, when. Maybe it would be better if he told everyone, at least then Jungwon wouldn't have to look at their disappointed, accusatory faces. Still, they might see that as even more offensive...

       He'd figure out what to do about it later. For now, he finally had some time to himself, with all the others out doing God- or rather, gods- knew what. Maybe he should monitor everyone's opinions on everything, and decide from there. Making his way back to the hotel, he walked into the bedroom, looking at the surface of his bed.

       Gods didn't need to sleep, per se, but maintaining a physical, human-like form was fairly difficult. It benefited them to eat, get rest, expel waste, bathe, all of the normal human functions. They could take care of these things magically, but it would admittedly be nice to pass out and not have to worry for the hours in which he was unconscious. Succumbing to this desire, he kicked off his shoes, instantly changing his clothes and slipping under the blanket, shutting his eyes and rolling over. He would sleep as best he could, and they'd deal with this when everyone had returned.

[the-ghost-king]

There was a post I wanted to reblog and respond to, but I'm not sure how op would have liked that so here's my in depth character analysis on Will and Nico (it's not actually that in depth):

It depends on how you headcanon the characters outside of that aspect as well though...

For example I do headcanon them with a decent height difference but if I'm extremely extremely oversimplifying my thoughts on them, Nico is the protector.

Will being so large gives him depth- he's going to be scared of being too strong and of breaking the things he loves. (Kind of like Frank?)

He's always been extremely kind, and not exactly the most masculine- he likes flowers, and cries when birds fall out of trees, those silly childhood "dog's life's" movies never failed to make him cry, he's canonically a worrier, he just wants to help people and save lives- he's the type of person who sometimes cries himself to sleep because the world is so twisted and cruel and he doesn't understand why people just can't be kind. Will "see's the world for what it could be rather than what it is" (if you want me to compare him to another YA character I would give you Dante Quintana)

Nico on the other hand, he was never allowed to cry or to show emotion- stiff that lip, don't let the tears fall- he was trained for war from the day he was born, his emotions can be shut off from the trauma of his life. He picks up that fallen bird and buries it out of a sense of duty and respect, but he doesn't cry any tears or think too hard about it. He doesn't spend much time thinking about "what ifs" unless they're necessary, he's worried about making sure everyone is safe and cared for rather than why people are cruel- he's accepted that people are generally cruel. Nico see's the world through tinted glasses, everything is a little messed up and he's got to fight so he doesn't end up messed up too.

Nico never had anyone to look out for him, and he was always perceived as small and weak- an easy defenseless target- he had to learn how to fight and how to fight good.

Will tries not to cry over little kids skinning their knee, and he grows angry when he hears about injustice across the globe, cries for all the poor children who will suffer and tries to give up his whole paycheck. His sole purpose in life is to build and repair, he couldn't destroy anything if he tried. Nico picks that little kid up, brushes off their knee and sends them off with a bandaid if they need one, he has to keep Will from spending his whole check and remind him that they'll be in a bad situation and won't have food for themselves if they give away their money- Nico is constantly shocked at how much Will tries to help others, because Nico accepted suffering as something that just happened.

In the face of adversity Will constantly rises to the struggle, and tries to just be good and kind (a real Patroclus type). Nico makes the right choice too, but he takes a more logical and calculating approach- Nico likes the element of suprise ("let's turn this tide!") he keeps his cards close to his chest so nobody knows what he's doing until the last minute. Will being tall is the perfect ploy in their relationship. People will expect Will to be dominat and commanding (he isn't at all unless someone is in danger), so when they see Nico they still don't expect anything- Will isn't paying attention and they think "huh- easy target?" only for Nico to swoop in at the last minute and save Will.

Nico is the one who has to wipe up Will's tears and wrap him in a weighted blanket because Will's worried about climate change, and that bill proposed by Congress, and how they're upping the price of insulin again- Will's lost everything and everyone and worries about it happening again. Nico doesn't worry about insulin prices or the famine in the same way Will does, he gives them money sure- he's got it and they need it- but that emotional connection never existed.. Nico lost everyone and when he thinks about loosing more people he does worry about it and it hurts, but he thinks "I've lived through worse"

They're too perfectly opposing ends of the same bridge- you can divide them any way and see equal parts similarities and differences. Their life experiences have led them to the same morals, same goals, and same wants- but the adversity in their life's have changed them to polar opposites in how they reach these conclusions and why.

Will is kind simply because he doesn't have a mean bone in his body, Nico is kind because he wants to be better than everyone who came before and said he couldn't. Both of them are the same level of kind but Nico had to learn that kindness because to him it wasn't a given, Nico had to choose to be the person nobody ever was for him. Will was kind the day he was born, and he works on the idea of self improvement- if he has a bad thought he analyzes it (and over analyzes it) until it is corrected and he knows the right and kind solution. Nico doesn't have to do this he just chooses the opposite of what people would expect a son of Hades to do, Nico chooses to be the person he wishes he would have had looking out for himself.

None of this means Will can't handle himself though- he lost two brothers and became cabin counselor and is still that kind when he got screwed over just as much as Luke- Will is strong too- just in a different way.

So yes, headcanoning one character as very tall and another as very small can bring up those concepts of "uwu protect me" but that's not everyone's interpretation of why two characters are the way they are- and that's not everyone's only understanding of a relationship model, and some people quite literally turn that concept on its head when they see two characters.

I get it, it was a vent post- that's why I'm not adding to it- because you deserve a space to vent, but you also can't sum up what someone thinks of a specific relationship dynamic just based on how vastly different they make character's heights.

If you want my other reason why Will is tall it's because he's closer to the sun, like Timothy Green or whatever the kids name was and I think it's a funny concept.

... Anyhow, I feel like this is written really poorly but I'm sure some people will enjoy this so I'm posting it anyhow lmao

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

March Ado About Nothing

Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.

A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.

Day 4: A Nice Family Outing

Summary: It was always nice for Janus and Patton to get out of their house and take the twins somewhere they could play and scream without disturbing the neighbors...again.

Prompts: *Stabbing*, Rescues, Adverse Reaction  

Ships: Married Mociet (Janus x Patton) with kids Roman and Remus

Warnings: play fighting with sticks. Let me know if there are more!

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @/janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @/im-an-anxious-wreck  (in an effort to not flood your inboxes I’m only tagging in the first part ^-^)

WC: 850

Watching their sons stab each other, while an interesting way to spend the afternoon, definitely wasn’t the wholesome family fun outing Patton had imagined it to be when packing the picnic basket that morning. He chewed idly on a fingernail, tracking each movement with the quickness and accuracy that one really only acquired in parenthood- an instinct born from constantly trying to make sure your children didn’t die or kill/seriously maim each other before it was time for them to get their own insurance, and by that time one expected their sweet little gremlins to be grown up into something at least halfway civilized so that none of those instances happened by their own hands.

As it was his husband simply sighed in exasperated fondness beside him as the two run circles around each other a few yards away- both wielding sticks that they had been allowed to have on the grounds that if either of them seriously injured the other on purpose they would both be grounded for a month. In hindsight they really should have thought to bring the foam swords from home before they left but so far they had both been good about keeping the sticks away from their faces and not getting any more scrapes or bruises than was usual for all their roughhousing.

“I stabbed you you gotta play dead!” Remus yelled far too loud for Patton to be comfortable in public.

“Nuh-uh! Dad said no face stabs and you stabbed my face so it don’t count!” Roman screamed back.

“Doesn’t count Roman.” Janus supplied helpfully, earning an elbow in the ribs from Patton even as he snorted.

“Doesn’t count!” Roman parroted as he swung the stick at Remus’ knees.

“Does too! I hit your shoulder!”

“That's my face area so it doesn’t count!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is too!” Remus, apparently having enough of the brotherly banter, abandoned his stick to tackle Roman to the ground instead, bringing him down with an indignant shriek as they began to roll in the dirt. Patton sighed and mentally ticked off the laundry he had already done that weekend and added the twins’ clothes to the pile he still had in the laundry room. It was only mud and they were old clothes so he wasn’t too worried- honestly most of his concern was whether or not they’d have enough bandaids for all the scrapes they’d probably have on their legs afterwards. He smiled and leaned back on his hands, at least there was never a shortage of Make-It-Better-Kisses. “Should we pull them apart now or wait until someone comes over to tell us we’re bad parents?” Janus drawled as he took a sip of grape juice from his wine glass.

“They aren’t being that lou-” Another shriek brought his attention back to the boys as they were now play sword fighting with the previously abandoned sticks. “...give five more minutes they’re having fun.”

“Mm.” They watched in silence for a couple more minutes before Roman and Remus eventually got tired on their own, both of them flopping down on the blanket to pant and rest in front of them. Reaching forward Patton gently carded through Remus’ hair, trying to ruffle as much dirt and grass out of it as possible. He looked over to see Janus doing the same To Roman’s face with a wet wipe, though it seemed both of their efforts were in vain. Seeming to give up on the fussy child Janus instead took Patton’s hand and began wiping it off with the cloth, taking it when he was done and placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles and causing his face to turn a brilliant red as he struggled to get words past his sputtering lips.

“Gross Dad.” Roman quipped from his place on the blanket. Janus glanced down with a wholly unimpressed expression and reached for him.

“Gross huh? I’ll show you gross!” Before Roman could wiggle away he was scooped up into Janus’ strong arms, shirt tucked up and away as his lips blew raspberries into his sensitive stomach. The unholy shriek that left Roman’s mouth was piercing enough to give any demon a run for its money, wiggling and giggling uncontrollably as his attacker refused to let up.

Patton turned to Remus, who was simply laying and watching quietly. Patton poked his forehead. “Feeling left out?”

“No!”

Patton grinned and reached forward, choosing to attack Remus’ more sensitive ribs then taking his husband's approach. Remus tried to stay still, face turning red with a held breath that was let out a moment later in an explosion of laughter and squirming that only brought him closer to the offending fingers rather than away. Janus stopped first, panting heavily and laughing just as hard as Roman as Patton finally let up and placed a hand on Remus’ forehead where he was resting on his lap. The sun was going down and they’d have to leave soon, but it was nice letting out the last of their laughter for the sun to enjoy before they made their way back home.

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[coldflame96]

Turnabout Parent Trap, chapter 20 (the end!)

I finally finished this bad boy and the last chapters a bit shorter so I thought I’d do something a little different. Don’t read if you haven’t read the rest of it please. 

It’s been a long journey. Thank you for sharing it with me. :)

Read the full thing on AO3 here

February 11, 2029

Gatewater Hotel Imperial Hall- Los Angeles, Japanifornia

Phoenix was nervous. Well, not nervous exactly, but more just excited. He was getting married! Not for the first time, but hopefully the last.

“Nick, they’re almost ready for you,” Maya came in. And then she gave him an unimpressed look. “What have I told you about messing with your tie? And your hair. Look at you, you’re a wreck! Don’t make me get my sister in here!”

“No thanks,” he muttered, “You’re bad enough.” And got a light smack on the head for that. He saw how the deep purple she was wearing brought out the bronze tones in her skin as she readjusted his tie and smiled.

“You look beautiful, Maya.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. My wife’s a dress designer.” And then she smirked. “Besides, you’re the star here. Miles won’t know what hit him.”

“He’s seen me like this before.”

“Sure, but you look way better now than you did at 21. I saw the pictures.”

“Wow,” he scoffed, offended. “That’s-“ And then he paused. “Wait, really? I’m 36, how is that even possible?”

She shrugged. “Some people get better with age.” And then she gave him a smug look. “You were pretty dorky before.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Y’know,” she started, starting on his hair now, “I’m kinda surprised you’re even doing all this again. Kinda figured Miles wouldn’t wanna bother.”

Funny story about that. “It was his idea, actually.”

“Really? Wow. And here I thought he was the pragmatic one. Guess he is a romantic, after all.”

She finally took her fingers out of his hair, and he made to run a hand through when she smacked it away.

“I just fixed it, Nick!” she glared. “If you mess it up again, I’ll kill you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled.

He heard a piano start playing and Maya grinned. “Well, that’s your cue.” And then she offered up her elbow. “You ready?”

He took a deep breath, and then linked his arm with hers. He was born ready.

~~~~~~~~~

Apollo sat next to his sibling, who practically had stars in their eyes as their parents exchanged vows at the altar. The old bearded guy gave them permission to kiss and they did eagerly which of course was something he’d seen many times at this point, but he clapped along with everyone else.

Trucy giggled from next to him and he looked at them curiously. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” they shook their head, “It’s all just kinda crazy, isn’t it? Two years ago, I didn’t even know you existed. Now we’re at our parents wedding.” She laughed again. “It’s all just so backwards!”

He rested an arm on their shoulder. “Yeah, I guess we were never very traditional, huh?”

“Nope!”

He vaguely heard Dad announce something, and then people around them started getting up. “Oh, I guess it’s time for the reception.” He offered his hand. “Coming?”

They took his hand.

~~~~~~~~~

When Iris had learned that Pearl, her younger half-sister, had moved to Germany last summer, she was disappointed. They had been getting to know each other rather well and she thought that she could finally tell her the truth about her.

But then Mr. Wright had told her she’d gone to Germany when she came to visit one day and she thought that was it. She’d waited too long and lost her opportunity. And then he had told her he was getting married. And even invited her. She wasn’t even sure if she deserved an invitation after what her sister did, but she appreciated it none the less.

She had been about to decline, but then Mr. Wright had told her Pearl would be here, and well…now here she was. It was only too bad she hadn’t been able to get Pearl alone so far. Maya had been quite welcoming and friendly and allowed her to mingle in with their group, but this was a delicate matter. She couldn’t just blurt it out in front of everyone.

She saw Mr. Wright pass through the hallway, from what she was assuming was the bathroom, and he nodded at her, pointing his eyes down the hall.

“You should catch her before she goes back in,” he advised.

“Thank you.” And then she already started walking.

“Iris?” he called out, and she turned her head in confusion. He gave her a small, shy smile. “Thanks for coming.”

He really was quite handsome…she felt her face heat up and she mumbled, “Of course.” And bolted down the direction he’d pointed her at, ignoring how her heart skipped a beat.

Mr. Wright was quite the charmer. She sometimes wished she’d been the one engaged to him once upon a time instead of her sister.

But it probably wouldn’t have worked out either way. His heart clearly belonged to someone else.

She was broken from that train of thought when she saw Pearl’s familiar figure just about to open the door back into the reception room.

“Oh, Ms. Iris!” she gasped. “You look so pretty!”

Pearl certainly looked quite beautiful herself, looking grown up in her dusty pink A line.

“Thank you, Pearl. You too. Did Ms. von Karma make that dress for you?”

The girl grinned. “Yes, she did!” And she did a little twirl. “Do you like it?”

She smiled gently. “I love it.” But she should get to the point. “Hey, Pearl, do you mind taking a walk with me? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

She perked up curiously. “Oh, okay then.”

And Iris led the girl to the courtyard where they wouldn’t be disturbed.

Like peeling off a bandaid. Hopefully it wouldn’t bleed.

~~~~~~~~~

Gatewater Hotel Banquet Hall- Los Angeles, Japanifornia

Miles watched as Phoenix opened the bottle of wine, Where Dreams Have No End, 2010 etched on it. He nodded, raising his glass in a toast and once he got the satisfied clink, they both took a sip at the same time.

Miles raised an eyebrow. “Oh, this is better than I remember.”

Phoenix shrugged. “Well, you know what they say about fine wine.”

Miles eyed his partner appreciatively, saying without much thought, “Yes, much like yourself, it ages quite handsomely.”

Phoenix gave him an incredulous look at that and Miles noted with pleasure how his ears turned red. “What, are you drunk already?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he huffed, “I’m not such a lightweight to get drunk off one sip of wine.”

Phoenix didn’t say anything, instead choosing to focus on his cake, their live performers starting with a slow, melodic song. Which brought up a concern…“Are you sure inviting them to perform was a good idea?” he asked his husband softly, touching his arm, the performers in question being the singer Lamiroir and her partner Herod, formerly known as Thalassa Gramarye and Jove Sadhmadhi. Though the young blond pianist they had with them was unfamiliar to him.

Phoenix looked at him, distracted for a moment from his cake. “Lamiroir is Apollo’s favorite singer, right? Why would it be an issue?”

Miles really didn’t like it when he acted willfully obtuse. “You know why, Phoenix. Having them here with the kids is a risk. What if they say something?”

“They won’t. I already talked to them about it.”

“Apollo and Trucy aren’t stupid, as you well know. What if they find out?”

Phoenix grabbed his hands, pressing a light kiss to his fingers. “Miles, they’re 14. They’re old enough to know that they didn’t just sprout up from nowhere. It’s not like we have anything to hide.”

“Well, yes, but-“

Phoenix didn’t let him finish that sentence, kissing him firmly. Miles pulled away, glaring with no heat.

“That was quite rude.” He got a kiss on the jaw in response. “I was talking and-“ Another kiss. “Ugh, you’re trying to distract me, aren’t you?”

Phoenix looked smug as hell. “Is it working?”

Yes. “No.”

He chuckled, “Liar.” And then kissed him again, softer this time.

“Hey lovebirds!” Larry called out, causing them to break apart. “Come get your pictures taken!”

He rolled his eyes and watched as Phoenix did the same.

He supposed a few pictures wouldn’t hurt. But not before he kissed his husband another time.

~~~~~~~~

Trucy never really “got” Apollo’s type of music. She was always more into upbeat stuff like the Gavinners, but this Lamiroir lady…was not bad. Her voice was beautiful, and she could see why Apollo liked it, even though it was kinda slow in her opinion.

Something about her was weird though…Familiar somehow. But Trucy was sure she’d never met a celebrity before.

She watched as the man with Lamiroir started playing something faster paced on his guitar and she smiled. Now they were talking.

“Dance with me, Apollo!”

“Trucy, I don’t dance.”

She rolled her eyes, and then she spotted a familiar dark head and got an idea. “Fine, I’ll go dance with Clay then.”

Their eyes went wide and they grabbed her arm. “You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Because!” their eyes darted. “Because I’m gonna dance with him!”

She asked faux innocently, “But I thought you said you don’t dance?”

“Well, I lied!” And then to her delight, they marched over to Clay, saying something to him that she couldn’t hear, and he looked both confused and pleased as they started dancing awkwardly.

She waved sweetly and laughed as Apollo glared at her and Clay waved back.

“Excuse me, Miss,” she whirled around to come face to face with her grandfather, his eyes twinkling. “May I have this dance?”

She curtsied dramatically. “Of course, sir.”

And she let him twirl her around. For an old guy, he was surprisingly graceful.

~~~~~~~~

Mia was feeling quite good after her couple glasses of champagne. Light on her feet and even lighter in spirit. She was giggling as Lana twirled her again, resting her head on her shoulder.

She heard a cleared throat and she turned to see Phoenix standing there, looking incredibly handsome in that suit. Mr. Edgeworth sure knew what he was doing that was for sure.

“Do you mind if I borrow your wife?” he asked Lana.

“So long as you give her back,” was Lana’s response and he laughed.

And then he grabbed her arm. “Come and dance with me, Mia.”

“Careful, Phoenix,” she grinned like a shark, “Your new husband might get jealous.”

He snorted. “Okay, how much champagne have you had?” he asked, as he started to sway her gently.

“Not enough.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

She saw how carefree he was and smiled. “I’m really happy for you, Phoenix.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It feels good to have a wedding I can actually go to.”

“Why? So you can drink all the champagne?”

“Exactly. Get lit, as the kids would say.”

He cringed, which delighted her. “Please stop.”

She laughed. “Stop what? I’m sticking with the times.”

“You’re not. I live with two teenagers. Neither of them ever say that.”

She pouted. “Well, they used to.”

He muttered, “Yeah, maybe in the Stone Age.”

She flicked him on the head. “Don’t be rude. I’m not even 40 yet.”

“What is with you Fey women and hitting me today?”

So Maya got him earlier? She wondered what wise crack he said to deserve it. “Don’t be a baby. Someone has to keep you in line.”

“I have a husband for that.”

“He’s too soft.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but then refrained and just pouted. “Whatever.”

She patted his cheek fondly, pouting. “Phoenix, will you get me another champagne?”

“No.”

Damn, that usually worked.

Maybe this wedding was a mistake.

~~~~~~~~~

Franziska watched as Maya danced with Pearl, Iris having to leave in a hurry for some other obligation, Kay was dancing with Frau Skye’s younger sister and well…she was quite bored.

She was feeling restless. She saw her stupid brother in the center table kissing his foolish husband like the shameless man he was and had a solution.

She stalked over to their table. “Miles Edgeworth,” she said sharply, and watched them break away, her brother looking a bit disgruntled. Ugh, obscene. 37 years old and acting like a lovesick teenager. “You will dance with me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that a request or an order?”

“Yes.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright then.” And then he stood from his spot.

Phoenix Wright looked amused, and just said in a dry tone, “Good luck!”

She levelled her glare to him. “You’re next.”

He just got even more smug, which annoyed her. “Can’t wait.” Sometimes she lamented the loss of her riding crop. She missed the days when men cowered at her feet.

“Was your wife unavailable?” Miles asked flatly, doing an elegant twirl.

“Shut up,” she snapped, and then she mumbled in embarrassment, “Yes.”

“I see. So you were bored.”

She glared at him but he was unperturbed. She would have to attempt a different method. She switched over to her native tongue and said in a wistful tone, “Why must you assume the worst of my intentions, older brother? Is it not acceptable for your sister to dance with you at your own wedding?”

“Of course it is. My apologies for doubting you.” He didn’t sound completely sincere but she supposed that would be good enough.

“I am taking your husband for the next song.”

“Just don’t kill him, please.”

“No promises,” she said in English this time. The song ended and she made her way back over to where Phoenix Wright was. She nodded. “Your turn. As promised.”

He grinned. “Oh, good, I’ve been waiting!” Then he turned back to her brother. “If I don’t come back, take good care of the kids, yeah?”

“Of course,” Miles said solemnly and she rolled her eyes, dragging the man out by the arm.

She was expecting him to have two left feet as he was an absolute disaster in everything else, but he was surprisingly competent.

“I must admit, Phoenix Wright, I am pleasantly surprised.”

“Hmm?”

“I did not peg you for a dancer.”

“I took some classes.” And then he got that stupid smug look again that made her regret ever saying anything nice. “See, I guess I’m not totally hopeless at everything, huh?”

“Debatable.”

“I never got to thank you, by the way.”

She pursed her lip. “For what?”

“For making Maya happy. Taking in Pearls. You’ve grown up a lot.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I hope you’re not intending to imply I’ve gotten soft.”

He gave her a wry look. “I would never imply that.”

“Good. Because I will happily rip your head off your body if you hurt my brother, I hope you understand.”

She heard him gulp. Ahh, yes there was the fear she so desperately missed. “I understand completely. Thanks for clearing that up.”

She smirked. “My pleasure.”

~~~~~~

The party was finally over, her and Herod packing up their belongings. She’d been rather hesitant to come here when Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth invited her. She didn’t want to cause any trouble with their family, of course. But Mr. Wright had assured her it was fine and said he wouldn’t say anything so long as she didn’t.

And she hadn’t planned on saying anything. The twins she’d given birth to 14 years ago were flourishing under their care just like she knew they would. They didn’t need her. Sometimes she felt that twinge of regret when she would see parents with their children walking the street together, but it quickly passed. She’d made her decision, and she was no longer able to bear children. It just wasn’t meant to be, she supposed.

She wondered if her partner knew…

“Excuse me, Ms. Lamiroir?” She heard a child’s voice and turned around, coming face to face with both of the twins. Had they…figured it out? She wondered if they inherited her ability of observation.

One of them, the one with the shorter hair in a spiffy pantsuit, spoke up. “I’m a really big fan of your work. Can I have your autograph?”

Oh, that was it? “Oh! Of course!” She mimed writing. “Where should I…?”

“Right here.” They shoved a vinyl album in her face. Her vinyl album. She smiled ruefully. Life had a way of connecting things, didn’t it?

She got out her fine tip marker. “Who should I make this out to?”

“Apollo.”

She nodded and signed out To Apollo. With Love, Lamiroir. “There you are, dear.” She handed it back to them.

“Thank you so much!” They sounded breathless. But the other one didn’t say anything, only assessing her quietly which made her a bit nervous.

“Did you need an autograph too?” she asked.

The child blinked, as if caught out of a trance. “Nah, I’m just here for moral support.”

“I see.” She saw the one who’d gotten her autograph run over to one of their fathers to gush, but the other one was still staring. “Was there something else I could do for you?”

“You just look familiar. Have we met before?”

She frowned, thankful she had a cloth covering the bottom half of her face. She saw the child’s fathers off only a few feet away with their sibling, Mr. Edgeworth looking at her curiously.

“No, we haven’t. Unless you’ve been to France?”

They furrowed their brow. “No, I haven’t. Sorry, I must have been thinking of someone else.” And like that, the tension was gone as the child grinned. “Thanks for playing tonight! Your voice is really beautiful!” And then they waved to join their family.

“Sweetheart,” Herod put his arm around her shoulders. “Am I crazy? Or are those two…?”

“They’re just the grooms’ children,” she finished, but she could tell by his face that he wasn’t convinced. She tapped his wrist gently. “We should hurry. They’re going to close down soon.”

He paused for only a moment before nodding. “I’ll grab Machi.”

And like that, the party was over and they all went their separate ways once again.

~~~~~~~~

May 23, 2029

LAX Airport- Los Angeles, Japanifornia

Apollo got a sense of déjà vu, though the airport was different this time.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Papa asked as they walked in through the door. “You got yourself into quite a bit of trouble the last time.”

Apollo rolled his eyes. “Well, unless there’s a secret triplet that me and Trucy don’t know about, I don’t think that will happen again.”

Trucy snorted at that, but Papa just glowered. Apollo thought he was due for a scolding for getting smart, but Dad steered Papa gently away. “They’re fine, Miles. They’ll look after each other.” And then he gave them both a stern look. “Right?”

He nodded furiously, while Trucy, who was always much braver than he was, just rolled their eyes. “Yes, Daddy,” they sighed out.

Papa was satisfied with that. “Very well. But you call us if anything goes wrong.”

“We will.” He went to hug him. “Bye, Papa.”

He gave Dad a hug too while Trucy gave one to Papa and then, after Dad practically dragged Papa out of the airport, they were finally able to get through the baggage line.

He wondered if all his friends from last time would still be there.

~~~~~~~~

May 24, 2029

Maine, USA

“Alright, campers, we have made it to our destination! Welcome to Camp Gourdy!” Trucy was jolted awake from the loudspeaker and then nudged her twin. “Polly, we’re here.”

Apollo blearily opened their eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight, and then their eyes widened as they sat up. “Oh! Hey Trucy, we’re here!” She gave them a flat look. “Oh, right.”

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Alright so, as soon as they open the doors we have to make a run for it. Otherwise, we’re not gonna be able to get our luggage.”

“Why wouldn’t we be able to get it?”

“Just trust me.”

“Okay.”

They quickly shoved their way to the front, ignoring the squawks of protest from other campers. Trucy saw her bright blue luggage and Apollo’s red bag about to get buried. “Quick, Polly, grab it!”

“Got it,” they grunted, hoisting their bag over their shoulder.

She grinned in triumph and gave her twin a fist bump. “C’mon, let’s go get our cabins.”

She looked around curiously. Everything seemed the same from when she was here last. Not that she expected much to change.

They approached the check in, and she was mildly amused to see it was the same grumpy old lady from last time. Windbag, right?

“Name and pronouns!” The woman barked.

She blinked. “Sorry, what?”

She huffed, still grumpy as ever. “I said your name and pronouns, whippersnapper, I don’t have all day.”

“Oh! Uhh, Trucy Wright. She.” And then she added on. “Or they.”

“Well, which is it? She or they?”

“Both?” Windbag gave her a flat look and she grimaced.  “Just she then is fine.”

The woman handed her a name tag that read Trucy. She/her. Yellow. Wow, so maybe things were a little different. She wondered if people complained about them not being inclusive enough.

“Name and pronouns!” Windbag barked to Apollo, who flinched under the intensity.

“Apollo Justice!” they yelled, making the old woman wince.

“Don’t shout, child, my ears still work!”

“Sorry.”

“Pronouns?”

“He.” Windbag glared and Apollo flinched again. “They?”

“Fine.” She threw the nametag at them and Apollo couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

“Well, she’s as unpleasant as ever, I see,” they huffed. But then they furrowed their brow again as they looked at their name tag. “There weren’t pronoun options last time.”

Trucy shrugged. “Maybe they’re catching up with the times.”

“Well, they could do it a little nicer.”

“What cabin are you in?” she asked, nodding towards the tag.

“Green.”

So they were in different cabins again. Interesting.

~~~~~~~~

Apollo hadn’t expected to have the exact same cabin mates as last time, but he was still a bit disappointed that Athena wasn’t here. He’d quite liked her. But the other girl, Junie, was here so he supposed that counted for something.

“This is the first time me and ‘Thena are separated,” the girl sighed out.

“Oh, do you know what cabin she’s in?”

“Yellow, I think.”

“Oh, that’s the same cabin as Trucy.”

Junie frowned. “Trucy? Isn’t that the awful girl you got stuck with last time you were here?”

He grimaced. “A lot’s happened since then.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Junie just continued to stare at him expectantly. He supposed he should elaborate. “We found out we were twins separated as babies and that our parents were divorced, so we switched places and our parents are back together now and happily married.”

She looked like she had a lot of questions, but just said, “Okay. Well, um, congratulations!”

“Thanks!”

~~~~~~~~

Trucy was unpacking her things when a familiar face came bouncing up to her, that tall, ginger girl from last time. Agatha?

“Oh, hey, Apollo!” She grinned.

“Not Apollo,” she said wryly.

“Oh, you’re the other one!” she put her fist in her hand. “Um, Tracy?”

“Trucy.”

“Gotcha! Well hey, is Apollo here too?”

“Yep. They came with me.”

“Oh really? Wait, does that mean you guys actually are siblings?”

Was she serious?

“We look identical.”

“Well, yeah, but it could’ve just been one of those weird freak Twilight Zone things!”

Trucy cocked her head. “What’s a twilight zone?”

“Oh, it’s this show my mom really likes. It’s about like people who get stuck in like alternate worlds. Sometimes it’s kinda scary, but I find the vibe of it really soothing.”

Sounded interesting, actually. Maybe she could check that out when she got home.

“Sounds cool,” she admitted, “But it was nothing crazy like that. Our parents just separated us when we were babies because they broke up.”

The taller girl’s eyes bugged out. “What?! That’s awful!”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but then we traded places and forced them to talk again and now they’re back together, so it all worked out in the end.”

The girl grinned. “So my theory was right then!”

“What theory?”

“Oh! I guess you wouldn’t know,” she chuckled, “So you see, me and Apollo both have Greek names, right?”

“Yeah…” What was her name again?

“And my mom is single and his dad is single, or was at the time, so I theorized that we were siblings separated at birth.”

Trucy stared at her blankly. “You guys don’t look anything alike, though.”

“Well, no, obviously because we’re not related, but…” she held a finger up. “The theory was true. Just not for me.”

Well, she couldn’t argue with that logic.

And then she got a hard pat to the back. “But hey! I’m glad it worked out for you!”

She was strong. Trucy always did like strong girls. “Thanks!” she grinned, leaning closer. “What was your name again?”

The look she got for that was priceless.

~~~~~~~~

The mess hall was the only time all the campers came together. Atleast the ones in his age group. So he was only partially prepared for a whirl of orange to practically tackle him to the ground.

“Apollo, oh my gosh! I missed you last year and I thought you got banned and were never coming back!”

“Athena,” he wheezed, “You’re choking me.”

“Oops.” She let go of him quickly. “Sorry.”

He set his tray down on a free table. “So you’re in the same cabin as Trucy this time?”

“Yep!” She slid in the chair next to Junie, grabbing her hand and squeezing. “She told me all about your crazy family!”

‘Crazy’ was an understatement. They were utterly mad.

With just the three of them, and Trucy chatting it up from a distance, it really felt like old times.

“So where do you live now?” Athena asked, “Are you still in Germany?”

He shook his head. “No, me and my father moved in with Trucy and my other father last summer.”

Athena gave him a sympathetic look and said in broken German, “it was adjustment?”

He nodded. “Only a little.”

He was curious why she couldn’t say that in English, but at the awestruck look Junie was giving both of them, he figured she was just showing off.

“Well, atleast Trucy won’t try to dump a bucket on your head this time,” Junie said quietly.

He certainly hoped not.

Maybe he could finally have the full camp experience he wanted from the beginning.

~~~~~~~

It had been a bit of a rough sleep for Trucy that night, as it usually was anytime she was in an unfamiliar place. Though atleast she didn’t have nightmares anymore. Those seemed to have stopped a while ago. She wondered if it was because Papa was there now.

In an echo of last time, she heeled her sneakers on and snuck down to the nearby lounge for some coffee. Daddy didn’t like her drinking coffee unless it was decaf, and Papa swore by tea, but they weren’t here and what they didn’t know didn’t kill them.

As expected, the place was a ghost town. Just how she liked it this early.

She sipped her coffee gingerly, remaining blissfully uninterrupted this time, and then jolted a little when the trumpets went off. Well, that was her cue to disappear.

She quickly changed into her t-shirt and shorts, tying her hair back, which was getting long again. She wondered if she should cut it. She’d gotten spoiled from it being short for so long. But now it was almost halfway down her back and starting to be a nuisance.

The first day for her cabin didn’t officially have anything scheduled, so when she heard familiar sounds of a cheering crowd and the clink of metal, she wandered towards it.

She shouldered her way closer to the front, her height making it hard to see, and smiled when she saw the fencing match, the familiar dodge and jab. Oh, she’d missed that. Maybe she could incorporate more sword fights into her magic shows. Though she was sure Papa would have a heart attack.

She heard the cheers and then Counselor Lotta, still with the same full afro and the southern accent, “And the winner again is Apollo Justice. Our undefeated champ so far! Any of y’all brave enough to challenge them?”

She grinned. She raised her hand, shouting out, “I’ll take a whack at it!”

“Wha’?” Lotta looked around, “Who said that?”

Trucy kept her hand up and watched as the crowd let her go to the front, still grinning as Apollo’s face came into view.

Lotta squinted at her. “Now why does this seem familiar?” Then she shrugged. “Whatever. Put your gear on and git ready to face off.”

It was as she was putting her helmet on that Apollo asked smugly, “Are you ready to lose again, Wright?”

She smirked, even though they couldn’t see it and held up her sword. “I’m gonna win, Justice.  And I’ll do it without pushing you in a basin.”

Apollo got in position. “We’ll see about that.”

“On yer marks!” Lotta called, and then she put her arm down with a whistle.

And Trucy swung.

[athenaquinn]

Can of Worms || Margot & Athena

TIMING: September 29th (before Margot’s wrist injury) LOCATION: UMWC library  PARTIES: @g0t-ri5h and @athenaquinn SUMMARY: All good friendships begin with dealing with bug infestations, right?

Margot did not enjoy libraries. She held no love for the smell of musty pages or worn in spines. Books were just so… wasteful and time consuming. Knowledge was much easier to acquire online and in turn to digest. But, nonetheless she was at the UMaine library, where WiFi was fastest and most accessible. It would be nice to leave her dorm room for an evening, and she’d take any excuse to escape her roommate. Margot had settled into a seat in the far corner of the library, where the fluorescent lighting was less assaulting to the eye. It was here she worked on her latest “comp-sci” project. It was a simple one, something she could’ve pulled off while she was in high school. Though, like always, she had procrastinated so thoroughly that it was due tomorrow and she had only just begun. Margot had no doubt that she would finish it on time, so long as she had no distractions. Thankfully it was a Friday night, and most had opted for college parties rather than their studies. The library was nearly empty, barring a student a few tables over, and she seemed to be quiet enough.

Athena could tell that this was already set to be a busy semester. For one, it was the second to last semester that she would have at UMWC, and she was taking a number of courses on top of TA-ing for Anita. She often found herself keen to study in the library, especially given that she didn’t live on campus and though the drive was hardly too much trouble, it didn’t seem worth it when she still had things to do on campus later on. The library wasn’t all that busy today, and KIL didn’t have a party this weekend, so she had settled down with her textbooks and pile of index cards, preparing for an exam that she had next week. Glancing up, she spotted another girl a few tables away. Athena wasn’t certain if she’d seen her before, but at least she wasn’t fae. The occasions when Athena had been in the company of fae at the library had been infuriating, not the least of which because killing them then and there would cause a scene. As the other girl looked up, Athena offered a quiet wave before bending back over her textbooks, twirling a pen around between her fingers.

At the girl’s wave, Margot shot back an uncomfortable smile. She wasn’t good at niceties, as much as she tried to be; polite conversation normally sounded sarcastic and gestures looked forced. Perhaps that’s why she hadn’t formed any friendships since moving to town, though to be fair, she hadn’t tried very hard. Margot turned her attention back to her project, settling into an advanced algorithm. “Shit.” She cursed under her breath when the process came back with an error. She referred back to her notes, or rather, her intense, unintelligible scribbles. After a few moments of reflection, Margot could see where she had gone wrong. She began to rifle through her backpack for a pen in hopes of amending the mistake, coming up empty. Margot groaned. The light glinted off the pen being twirled between the girls fingertips. Margot made her way over to her table, plastering that same uncomfortable smile on her face. “Hi.” Margot said, “Could I borrow your pen?” Her eyes were trained on it rather intensely. She shook herself from the fixation before adding, “Please?”

The girl offered her a smile in return, and Athena didn’t pay too much attention until all of a sudden the other girl was right by her. “Hi.” She glanced up. “I’m using this one, but,” Athena grabbed her backpack, pulling it up and onto her lap. She grabbed her pencil case and unzipped it, pulling out another, identical pen. “Here. You - you can keep it, if you’re out of pens.” She paused. “If you’d like, you can come over here. I’m not going to be loud, and if you happen to lose another pen, it’s probably best to be in close proximity to the supply.” Athena tapped her fingers on her textbook. “I’m Athena, by the way. Might be worth introducing myself if I’m going to be inviting you to sit with me. What’s your name?”

Margot took the pen gratefully, and began immediately scribbling the correct notes on her paper. She breathed out a sigh upon completion, as if it had been an intense task. “Thank you. I’m usually typing, these things are an afterthought.” Margot said, referring to the pen. At the request Margot glanced to her desk, and then back, weighing up the choice. “Sure.” It was the least she could do to be polite. “I’m Margot.” She called over her shoulder, already up and relocating her things. Once she had settled into the new spot across from Athena, Margot took in the contents of Athena’s study kit, an array of index cards and textbooks. “You’re so,” Margot paused in awe, “organised.” It was of stark contrast to her own distressing set-up. “What is it you study?”

“I like both, so I often just have them on me.” Athena gave a shrug. “It’s no bother.” She grinned just slightly as the other girl agreed to come and sit with her. Athena found that although she could be perfectly content all on her own, she often found that she desired company. “Nice to meet you.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, her own gaze following Margot’s. “Oh, well, you know....” Someone else might have blushed at the compliment, but she took it in stride, because it was true. “It’s just how I’ve always been. I appreciate the compliment.” Tapping her fingers against the pages of her textbook, she glanced back over to Margot. “Neuroscience and Religion. I’m also pre-med. Just recently sent out my applications, so hoping to get into a top school.” She bit her lip. “How about you?”

Margot’s eyebrows raised and she let out an impressed whistle. A librarian stuck her head out between an aisle of books at the obnoxious sound and gave Margot a scowl. Margot returned the expression to her. The librarian ducked out of sight and Margot returned her attention to Athena. “Wow, pre-med. That’s intense stuff. Good luck with your applications.” Margot wished she held such an ambition for the future, but alas, she usually didn’t plan ahead further than an afternoon. “I’m a comp-sci major. Computers and stuff.” She couldn’t be bothered to explain much further. People usually lost interest when she started to ramble on about algorithms and operating systems. “I’m working on a project due at midnight, only started on it an hour ago.” Margot explained to Athena, with a guilty look on her face. She started to rearrange her laptop on the desk in order to regain her focus on the project, and in doing so, knocked a stack of books that had been left on it to the ground. “Shit.” Margot cursed. She hastened to pick them up, kneeling beside them. But, she stopped— “What the hell?”

A book lay open on the floor. Margot watched, eyes wide, as the words on the pages were disappearing, line by line. Were her eyes deceiving her? Margot reached out to pick up the book and upon touching it felt… a bite? “Ow!” She yelled, and dropped it back to the floor.

Athena smirked at Margot’s reaction, even ignoring the librarian’s response. The librarian knew her well enough, so it’d blow over, and if she was completely honest, she didn’t especially care right now. At the moment she was more focused on the other girl. “Thanks! I like to hope for the best, so I believe that it will all work out.” She grinned, pressing her tongue between her teeth. “Oh, that’s cool! I can’t say I’m a computer expert, though I do know my way around one. Though for all that I believe in learning as much as possible about anything and everything, the world would be quite terribly boring if we all knew everything about everything, wouldn’t it?” She giggled, making sure to keep her voice as quiet as possible. They didn’t need another icy glare from the librarian. “Oh yeah? That’s not uncommon.” I never do that, was another thought that crossed her mind but that she refrained from speaking out loud. She knew that saying something like that wouldn’t do much of anything to keep the conversation going. Margot’s books fell to the ground then and Athena was about to go and help her grab them when the exclamation of pain from Margot caught her attention, and upon glancing over, Athena spotted the pages growing blank and fought away a huff of annoyance. She really didn’t have time to be dealing with this right now, but she also knew that given what she was born to do, she had no right to complain. “Here, wait!” She said, grabbing a bandaid from her bag and moved to where Margot was, handing it out to her, letting one of her rings briefly touch Margot’s skin and breathing a sigh of relief when no rash appeared. “What happened? Was there a misprint in your book, or…?” She let her voice trail off. She didn’t know what Margot thought about the supernatural, and this was as good a gauge of that as any.

Margot blinked a few times, her eyes settling on the small bite on her palm and then to the girl in front of her. How did she get here again? It was as if she had lost recollection of the exchange that had taken place only moments before. “Um, thanks,” Margot took the bandaid from her, “Sorry, I’m having a blank, who are you again?” Margot asked guiltily. This person was terribly familiar, Margot felt a kind of déjà vu just looking at her. She shook off the feeling, her attention settled back on the thin trickle of blood coming from the small bite on her hand. Margot wiped the blood on her shirt before adhering the bandaid to the wounded spot, cringing as she did so. Once she was done, she looked back to the book that had caused the injury. Perhaps it was just a papercut? The book lay open where Margot had dropped it moments before, except... “What happened to all the words?” She asked the stranger with alarm. “Tha-- That was covered in words just seconds ago!” Was she going mad? Maybe the page had just turned, or it was a different book. Margot reaches out her thumb and forefinger tentatively, using them to flip to the next page. Alas, it was as if the book was un-writing itself, words being chewed from the page. She was definitely losing her mind.

“Of course.” Athena’s brow furrowed at the girl’s next question. “I - I’m Athena.” There was always the chance that the girl had severe short-term memory impairments, but nothing else pointed to that. Margot’s next comment caused her to glance at the page. The words were disappearing. The words were disappearing and Margot couldn’t remember something. Bookwyrm. Admittedly not the worst of supernatural creatures, but still a pest. “It was.” Athena let a shocked expression cover her face. She wasn’t sure if the girl had any sort of clue what was going on, and it was best to deal with this as smoothly as possible, without drawing too much attention to all of … well, everything. “I’d not touch the book if I were you. It - those bites can do a lot of harm.” She brushed her fingertips against her nose. She had to figure out a way to get rid of the thing before it destroyed the whole book. “Did you see what bit you?”

“Athena, that’s right.” Margot pretended that she was back up to speed, embarrassed at her temporary memory loss. “Sorry, how could I forget…” How had she forgotten? At Athena’s warning, Margot tucked her hands to the side, resisting the intense urge she had to flip through the pages and inspect the book. “S-So they are bites?” Margot stuttered in confusion, glancing back down at the bandaid. “I have no clue what it was, I just know it fucking hurt. What do you think it was? Maybe some kind of book termite?” She hated to ask so many questions, always wanting to be the smartest person in the room, but none of this was logical. She’d never even heard of book termites. Athena seemed deep in thought, considering the facts. “Should we tell the librarian? Maybe this has happened before.” Yes, the librarian would know what to do.

“Yes. I mean, I have a bit of a memorable name but…” Athena frowned. “Don’t apologize.” Her voice was a bit too even, a bit too brusque, but it was important to not dwell on what was going on too much, especially if Margot had no clue what was going on. “Yes. It - you could call it that. Particularly bothersome ones, and they - well…” she motioned at the book. “They destroy books quite entirely.” She wanted to grab the book, find the creature and be over and done with but she had to be careful. Though Winston and Blanche were admittedly not the worst to out herself as a hunter in front of, you never knew - and even if someone was harmless, explaining what she was could always run the risk of too many questions. “Sometimes the librarian doesn’t know what to do, and I’ve read that these…” things “can sometimes have infestations. Which means a lot of bad news for the books in here.” She looked over to Margot. “You’ve never seen something like this before?”

Margot couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Book termites? She had suggested it almost jokingly, to find out they were real seemed like a ridiculous notion. “How do you know all this? Have you seen one of these before?” They were in a library, if a librarian didn’t know what was going on, what chance did they have? Margot hoped that Athena knew how to fumigate this pest, if not, the library might be wiped blank by morning. Margot threw her hands up at Athena’s question. “No, I can safely say, I have never seen the words on a page disappear before my eyes. Provided, I’m not much of a reader and I probably haven’t used a book in years, but this isn’t normal is it? Words don’t just backspace themselves!” Margot was rambling, becoming more unwound with every syllable. She began to pace back and forth around the table, careful not to bump the infested book.

“Like once?” Athena replied, voice rising, making it far more of a question than she had originally intended for it to be. She had seen these, and she’d read about them, but going on and on about that would likely only make Margot look at her like she had three heads. “It’s - well, I guess it happens sometimes. There’s all sorts of bugs and animals that have yet to be discovered. Trust me, I’m TA-ing for an entomology class this semester - and though I took that same class not too long ago, I find that there is still so much to learn.” Athena watched Margot move back and forth, trying to figure out a way to work through this. “No, it’s not typical. Though it’d be a heck of a way of recycling. Full honesty though? I think there’s better ways to save the planet. Give me a reusable water bottle over books that erase themselves any day of the week.” Voice still level, she continued to let her eyes follow Margot. “This book only just started doing this, right? It - it wasn’t like that when you picked it up?”

“Once?” Margot repeated. She hoped that Athena’s one off experience or TA work had taught her how to get rid of the creature, otherwise they may have to contact some kind of fumigation service. “Yes, pests that bite and consume the words of books is probably not the most efficient way to reverse the effects of climate change.” How had the topic been changed so drastically? Margot sensed that Athena was trying to divert her attention, and it had somewhat. Subconsciously, she had stopped pacing, and was now facing the other girl. Margot composed herself with a deep satisfying breath. “I don’t know when it happened, I just knocked the book off the table and that’s how it was.” At least that’s what she thought was what happened. Margot’s memory of the past few moments was coming back to her a little foggy. “Just please, tell me you have some way of fixing this, because I don’t want Ms. Shhhhhh over there,” Margot pointed back towards the librarian, “thinking I damaged university property. I’m not paying for it.” She couldn’t pay for it. Who knew how much a textbook this thick was worth.

“Yes.” Athena gave another shrug. At least the other girl had appreciated her joke - or at least it had been a temporary distraction - but she had to think fast. Athena wasn’t sure if there were more bookwyrms, and if so, if she would be able to easily find them, but if they could take care of this one at least it would do something. The librarian on duty didn’t know anything when it came to this, no matter how helpful she could be about anything academically oriented. “Yeah, they’d suck at that big time.” At Margot’s next comment, she gave a quick nod. “Makes sense. These - well, it can happen suddenly. Can I ask - what are your thoughts on capturing and getting rid of bugs?” She knew that killing it would be the best option, but she could also always give it to Anita - so long as she made clear to her professor that these could cause damage. She knew that she had to check in with Margot first, because acting too rashly in front of someone who seemed to be totally unaware wasn’t going to do either of them any favors. “No, of course. You won’t have to pay for it. It was a misprint, and in reality, the library should send it back to the publisher and ask for a refund.” A conspiratorial grin crossed her lips and she raised an eyebrow at the other girl. “I’m good at talking to adults, and I’ll take care of this. We just have to get rid of the bug first and let the library know to be on the lookout for an infestation.”

“Let’s kill em’.” Margot replied to Athena’s question. She wasn’t a fan of insects or pests of any kind, and she had no hang-ups about their extermination. “I have a can of bug spray in my dorm room. If that’d work to get rid of them, I can run up and quickly fetch it for you?” She would leave the actual killing to Athena, afterall, she had already been bitten once by the critters and had no urge to experience it again. Margot was relieved to hear that she would be free of the damage charges, it was true that she hadn’t been the cause of the destruction, and was happy that she had Athena to vouch for her. Perhaps the girl was a handy person to have around, certainly more pleasant and sociable than Margot had ever been. Athena oozed a certain confidence that was even beginning to rub off on Margot. “I trust you with this.” Margot stated nodding. “Just tell me what you need me to do.” She tacked on, in fear that she had sounded passive, scared. Which she was, but Athena needn’t know that.

“Works for me,” Athena replied with a grin. She wouldn’t actively try to kill most bugs - but this one would do more harm than good in the long run, which meant that it had to be dealt with. “That offer is super appreciated, but these don’t always respond to typical techniques. I’ve found the best way is to either trap them or just straight up deal with it right here.” She certainly wasn’t about to go track down pixies. “Bug spray is handy to have.” Athena flashed a grin to the other girl. Even if Margot had no idea what the bookwyrm was, Athena appreciated that she wasn’t about to insist that they keep it around. She knew not to count her blessings too much, given that she had far too much luck with people who didn’t seem to care what she did to supernatural pests recently, but that didn’t stop her from feeling pleased whenever someone seemed to align their views with her, even if only for a brief period of time. “Do you want me to get rid of it here? If so…” Athena bit her lip, “just make sure it doesn’t escape? It shouldn’t, but you never know. Then I can deal with it.” She stood up and quickly grabbed a cloth handkerchief. “I’m gonna get it with my boot, but you know, I’ve found that it’s best to clean up a mess. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Margot smiled back at Athena, excited that there was a plan being formed. She wasn’t sure why bug spray wouldn’t be the most effective, it had been very handy at exterminating many insects in the past, but Margot trusted Athena’s judgement. It was probably for the best, it would take a while for her to gather the insecticide from her room, and it seemed time was of the essence. “Here’s as good a place as any to get rid of it.” Margot replied, besides, she wasn’t keen on moving that to another location, not after what happened when she’d picked it up just moments before. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll try to keep it contained.” Margot wasn’t sure how she would stop the critter if it tried to make a run for it, not even knowing what it was, but she’d give it her best shot. She glanced down at Athena’s boots, a simple yet effective weapon. Margot gave Athena a nervous nod, indicating that she was prepared for whatever was to come. “Let’s do this.” She said, mostly to herself.

“Makes sense to me too.” Athena grinned. “Best not to risk it causing further damage elsewhere.” Though she never liked to owe anyone anything, she thought to herself that she would certainly make an attempt to at least take the other girl out for coffee or something after all of this was over. She wondered if she'd have questions about any of this, or if she’d just pass it off as a strange bug - which, in fairness and by definition it was, but it was far more than that too. At Margot’s words, Athena pushed herself up, rolling her shoulders quickly - glancing around the room before she dug her heel right into the bookwyrm, and if it were able to make much noise, she knew that it would be screaming in anguish right now. It deserved that much at least - even if it wasn’t a creature of the highest risk, it destroyed books, and could do a heck of a lot more damage than it had if she let it go free. It would have been a disservice to give it to Anita - she appreciated her professor, and this could do a great deal of harm to her hard work. “All done. Told you I could make it efficient.” She began cleaning off the heel of her boot with the cloth handkerchief. “What do you think? Should we go and tell our friend the librarian that there’s horridly defective books in the library?” She winked. “Happy to do the talking, if you want.”

Margot raised her eyebrows. The death of the critter was so quick, easy and painless, well not for the bug, but for them. Was Athena a professional pest killer in her spare time? Margot knew she would have many questions for the girl, but for now she was lost for words. “Nice job.” Was all she could think of. Margot glanced back at the librarian, shuddering at the thought of facing the authority figure. “Okay,” She said hesitantly, “Let’s get this over with.” Margot headed in the direction of the librarian, hoping that Athena was following behind her. She was counting on her to sweet talk the woman, God knows Margot was not charismatic enough to get away with it. “Hello.” She said upon reaching the front desk. The book merchant looked up at them. “There seems to be an issue with your books.”

“Excuse me?” The woman glared over her reading glasses with confusion and disapproval. Margot looked to Athena for help.

“Well, you helped too. It’s not all me.” Athena winked. “However yes, let’s get this over with.” Putting the dirty handkerchief into a plastic bag, she made her way behind Margot, straightening her posture as much as possible. Luckily she knew a fair number of the librarians already, and she had been on good terms with them. Giving hand-baked goods proved useful, as did complimenting their thrifted sweaters. “There is quite an issue.” Athena bit her lip, letting her eyes grow wide. “The horrid printing company sent you misprints!” She flipped the book open to one of the pages. “They sent you a book that is mostly blank. I’d check a lot of the other ones in this library, and to top it off,” she glanced over at Margot, wondering what the other girl was thinking, “we saw a bug. Big. You might want to call in someone to fumigate the place, this library is too special to incur such damages as seem to be happening. You deserve a refund for this book at least.” The librarian raised an eyebrow, though she accepted the book and began to page through it, concern spreading across her face.

“Right?” Athena did her best to keep her voice hushed. “It’s not Margot’s fault, she was studying for an important exam and then all of a sudden we saw that there were no words on the page. We don’t want anyone else to end up in our same position.” She took in a deep breath and waited for how the librarian would respond.

Margot covered her mouth and fought the urge to snigger at the exchange. Athena was turning out to be quite the actress, knowing when to exaggerate and when to hold back. A force to be reckoned with. She surely would’ve fooled Margot had she not been privy to the truth. Margot made sure to nod along with all of her claims, to ensure believability. God was she glad she hadn’t been alone in the library tonight.

“Very well, girls.” The librarian responded as she took a deep dissatisfied breath, “Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention.” As she flipped the pages, they confirmed Athena’s story. The librarian pursed her lips and locked eyes with Margot. “I think it would be best if you packed up your things,” Her eyes then fell on Athena, “Both of you. I’m going to have to close the library.”

Margot’s eyes widened. Her assignment, she had almost forgotten. “C-closed? I have an assignment due in a few hours!”

“I’m afraid so.” The librarian said solemnly. She took a large coil of keys from the desk drawer with finality. Margot looked to the other girl, who had studies of her own, sorry that this had been the outcome of this event. As she returned to their table, Margot sloppily stuffed her things back in her bag. She was beginning to accept that she would receive a bad grade. “Thanks for getting rid of that thing.” Margot said to Athena. “Maybe we could hang out sometime, you know, when there’s no bugs or books around.”

At least the librarian believed her. Athena let a small smile settle on her lips. She knew that she played the innocent part well. That most people were inclined to believe her, especially authority figures. It was how she’d gotten out of trouble throughout her schooling, and it was certainly how she endeared herself to many members of the community. This librarian was human, and Athena did appreciate her, though laying on the compliments and wide-eyed confusion never hurt.

She hadn’t, however, been expecting the librarian to take drastic actions so quickly.  “Closed?” She replied, practically in unison with Margot. Athena held her tongue between her teeth. It would be best if the library dealt with this as soon as possible, but there was a certain part of her that did feel bad for leaving Margot stranded and without a place to work. As they returned over to their table she kept watching Margot, as the other girl shoved all her school supplies into her bag. “Oh yeah, of course. Also hey - I know another good study space on campus. In the campus center? There’s a side room people don’t use much, and I know some people on student government if you want to get into an even more private room.” She looked over, “just, you know, if you want. I’d like to hang out some other time too. Though for right now we may have to stick with the books at least.”

Margot’s eyebrows raised at Athena’s suggestion. Campus center, she’d never been there, but the wifi connection couldn’t be worse than her dorm room. “Awesome, yeah, thanks for the tip! I’ll head over there now!” Maybe all hope wasn’t lost. Her spirits were already back on the up. Margot slung her packed bag over her shoulder. “Can’t wait!” Margot replied with a smile. As the girls exited the library, they exchanged cell phone numbers, promising to meet up sometime soon. Next time in a more relaxed setting.

[crozicrs]

hello it is june again, back at it with a demon son here to ruin everyones lives. if you’d like to plot with zeke -- please give this post a like && i’ll hit you up to plot. ilu all k thnks bye 

( kiowa gordon / male ) ZEKE CROZIER is 24 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. HE is majoring in FINE ARTS and is known for being THE CYNIC as HE can be FORTHRIGHT and EXPRESSIVE as well as SARDONIC and BLUNT. every time i see HIM, HE reminds me of tattered leather jackets, trails of smoke and ash, paint stained clothing.. ( june / 24 / she&her / gmt+2)

BASICS.

✘ born and raised in arizona ✘ the most most cynical person you will ever meet ✘ always smoking. never catch him without a cigarette ✘ panromantic / pansexual  ✘ very shy when it comes to his art ✘ primarily a painter but dabbles a lot in graffiti bc #vandalism 

did they have a connection to steven or nana?

zeke can be difficult to get along with, and it tended to be the case when it came to nana. they could bicker a lot and zeke would go out of his way to be blunt and damn near hurtful. he never cared what he said or how it affected nana.

( trigger warnings: abandonment, violence, minor drug mentions)

ABOUT.

✘ zeke crozier grew up in a typical delinquent fashion. he rebelled against anything and everything he possibly could, an extreme problem with authority. his parents weren’t exactly attentive -- too busy with their own lives to really pay attention to their son. he was often left to his own company, seeking family in all the wrong crowds. perhaps his actions were a cry for help but his childhood showed him that nobody could possibly be kind and genuine. he’s seen to much selfishness in his lifetime to believe anything else.

✘ he got into many fights in highschool, one incident bad enough that the threat of expulsion and the potential to land up in juvi looming over his head. a compromise was made, and he was later shipped off to his grandparents who would then care for him -- and while it was the best thing to happen to him, far too much damage had been done. 

✘ while the physical violence in his life seemed to come to a standstill, he later learned that he didn’t need to use his fists to be cruel. his words were sharp enough to cut deep. with the exception of his grandparents, zeke is under the impression that everyone has an agenda and simply looking out for themselves. much like he is in a way. he doesn’t care for the company of others -- or rather he’s afraid to allow himself to become close to anyone. his trust issues are immense and he would rather have someone hate him from his own doing than risk the potential of getting himself hurt.

✘ zeke’s grandmother, in an attempts to bond and provide some sort of outlet to her grandson, got him into painting. they both soon discovered that he shared his grandmother’s talents it was the only thing he seemed to take an interest too, something that he was actually good at that wasn’t filled with detachment and resentment. he would lock himself away in his room for hours and hours, finally keeping out of trouble for once

✘ he managed to graduate his new highschool with fairly decent grades, his art clearly outshining the rest of his grades. he managed to score himself a partial scholarship to thales and he had every intention to decline but his grandparents constantly begging and pleading him to at least give it a shot. he took a few gap years before finally accepting the offer (which was still surprisingly still on the table) 

✘ even though he discovered he quite likes to party, zeke still tends to keep to himself. if booze or other recreational substances aren’t in the picture he isn’t exactly interested. it’s difficult for him to relax and let go. 

✘ his attitude towards most people is incredibly blunt and harsh, not caring how his words affect people. he knows pain and anguish the most so why not inflict what he feels on the inside onto others. he excepts everyone to stab him in the back anyways so why not beat them to it.

✘ he keeps his art and his major to himself mostly, most people really not knowing what the hell his studies. unless you’re somehow close to him, the only people who see his paintings are classmates and professors. he gets really shy and flustered about it and does not like to talk about it at all. 

✘ despite his general distain for people, he tends to mostly paint portraits. he’ll often sit with his sketchbook and draw people around in public. so odds are, he’s probably drawn most people at some point.

CONNECTIONS.

✘ softness -- please just someone he is weirdly soft with ?? like he just adores them and isn’t a complete asshole with them and is just a normal human just give him fluff ok cool bYE

✘ frenemies -- bc lets be real, he’s going to be an asshole to people he calls friends. he cannot help himself

✘ fwbs / hookups -- who am i to not just make my muses hoes. i cannot be stopped. a mans has needs.

✘ partners in crime / bad influence -- someone who just enables his shitty behaviour and just embraces the fact that they’re both horrible people and that it’s perfectly ok and fuck everyone else k bye

✘ good influence -- someone who is trying their hardest to put a bandaid on this poor boi and mend his broken heart ok and loves him despite all his defiance 

✘ enemies / exes / stuffs -- he is who he is and he’s pissed off a lot of people ok 

✘ muse -- maybe someone hes just sorta infatuated with and ends up drawing / painting a lot and wdym it’s an obssesion i have no idea what you’re talking about

uHHH IM DOWN FOR LITERALLY ANY AND EVERY CONNECTION MY BRAIN JUST CANT THINK RIGHT NOW PLS LOVE MY HORRIBLE TRASH SON

[dreams-of-valeria]

Could it be F1 and A1 but like maybe the reader and hopper have an age gap so the reader parents are almost (but they are not... or they are ? Idk that’s up to you lol) the same age as hopper therefore there’s this kind of tension??? And hopper being kind of clumsy at the cake ? Sorry if I am asking too much, tbh your prompts got me exited!

@may85 asked:

Sooooooo can I please request A1 and F10 together? F10 being that the readers parents are complete shit and giving reader a hard time about Hop being late. Pllleassee!? 🥰🥰

In the midst of winter

F1: Baking a cake together

F10: Requester's choice

A1: Late for Christmas dinner with Reader's parents

Pairing: Jim Hopper × Younger female reader

A/N: Merry Christmas and thank you so much for your kind words! I’ve clubbed both of your requests together because as you can see, they are essentially the same but I’ve made sure to give them some individuality and I really hope you like it!

Warnings: Ok so this turned out to be a little darker than I expected and includes mentions of abuse and crying but it’s nothing our favourite Chief can’t handle. Age gap.

Word count: 3,067

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The old clock on the wall taunted you with every plock, demanding your attention between every bite of the bread you were working down just to keep your mouth busy.

The alternative would be to make conversation with the two severely conservative, stuck up and judgy people you knew as your parents. But unlike that moment, your childhood didn’t consist of you swimming in bread, although it had always been your favorite.

Your eyes drifted anywhere but over them sitting across from you at the table, and rather flew over the spread you had spent all day making. Gingerbread, ham, mashed potatoes, roasted green beans and carrots, sugar cookies, cake batter on the counter and a stuffed chicken because the store had run out of turkeys the night of Christmas Eve. The festive season was surely joyous and mesmerizing, but also meant you had to work tirelessly to a goal you had set for yourself, and could barely accomplish when your parents had arrived an hour early; just so they’d have extra time to pick at how untidy your apartment was, how old your simple black dress looked, and how you were wasting your life working as a writer at local newspaper. Which, they had added rather graphically the people of Hawkins only used to wipe their unmentionables. And that was even before they got to the pièce de resistance.

They had always been elitist and looked down upon the humble families just trying to survive and make it in a capitalist country, especially the folks of a small town, which was part of the reason you had moved to Hawkins, Indiana. The lion’s share was because you just had to get away.

The pleasant dream of having a small, homely Christmas dinner with Hopper had been shattered by that one phone call last night, of how your parents had caught wind that you’d found someone for yourself from your sister.

Becky hadn’t told them on purpose, of course. Unlike your parents, she didn’t see anything wrong with you dating a 40-year-old man especially when you were finally, truly happy. In fact, her only folly had been to leave the postcard you had sent her out on the counter, and naturally, your nosy parents had found out. Strangely, it had been Hopper’s idea to dress both of you up in all red for the photograph and send Christmas postcards out to everyone you knew. He wasn’t very generically forthcoming but did have certain ways to show affection.

Including offering to cook dinner with you. You smiled when you remembered, how only last night he had taken you in his arms after the phone call and calmed you down until your panic attack had passed. ‘We can figure it out’, he’d said, brushing your hair lovingly. You missed feeling that sense of warmth and safety in his arms.

You didn’t feel even an iota of that warmth and safety in your own apartment and surrounded by the people you’d known ever since you were born. But knowing and loving were two completely different things, you’d realised, a little too late in your life. The moment you did, you were on a bus heading south.

But now there was nowhere to run. They were there to meet your boyfriend, and like he had said, you just had to get through it. Pull off the bandaid. You wished Hopper wasn’t late, that he was there to defend you from the comments or offer comfort with his hand on the small of your back, but he was late, fighting crime. Typical.

Unlike in your parents’ case, you found that to be endearing. Even if he was forced to let you cook dinner alone.

“It’s been a while,” commented your mother, pulling her blazer’s sleeve back down over her diamond wristwatch. She was studded all over with stones, and they made your eyes hurt from the glare. You swallowed the bread and the lump down your throat and tried to smile.

“Like I said, he’s the Chief of police and must be busy with work.”

“On Christmas Eve? Did someone lose a cow or something?” Your father laughed, a balding bespectacled man who outshone his better half only in contempt.

“We’re not all mindless, farming hillbillies, dad.” You sighed, taking a sip from the wine, but reminding yourself not to drink too much. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol had worked before, but right then, it would only work in your parents’ favor. Just another reason to find a flaw in you.

“Of course not, dear. You’re not one of them.” Rebutted your dad, keeping it civil but his eyes spoke otherwise. Appearances meant everything to them, but you could never forget that look in their eyes that spoke more than those golden words ever did.

“Them are people too you know? Like Jim, my boyfriend.” You smiled, rubbing it in. It was a rarity for you to have the upper hand when it came to irking your parents, and you were not going to let this go. Your father sighed, and you could see that he was taking deep breaths to keep the civility going. Deep down, you wished he would break. You could feel a storm brewing, but it was no reason to let Jim bear witness to it. Provided that he made it in time.

“Of course.” He gritted his teeth but soon eased up. “All we’re saying is, it’s rude to be late to dinner. Especially when you spent all day cooking.”

You opened your mouth in reflex to counter but then listened to his words. Really listened. There were no double entendres or veiled insults. That made you even more suspicious.

”We just want what’s best for you, y/n.” He smiled and your mother mirrored him, and you looked between them like a deer in headlights. What sort of game were they playing? There had to be a game.

“And it’s never too late to make the right decision–” Your mother started off, and you interrupted her with an exasperated sigh.

“I knew it,” you chuckled grimly. “You’re just here to try to talk me out of my relationship.”

“What relationship?” Your father spat suddenly, and the timber of his voice made you shudder. There it was. “You are a child, and that jerk is just forcing you to–”

The door clicked open behind you and heavy footsteps gushed in, along with a gust of frozen air. All eyes went to the hallway and landed on the man of the hour, all bundled up in a parka and boots and huffing heavy breaths, probably from running up the three flights of stairs.

He scanned the room and pursed his lips. “H-hey.”

He was terrible at meeting new people. But that was the least of your concerns. You went up to him with an automatic smile on your face despite the circumstances and helped get his parka off.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, a car had tipped over on Maple street and it took forever for the fire engine to get there and I had to wait, baby, there were kids inside–”

“It’s ok.” You assured him with a smile, holding his face in your hands briefly, knowing you had an audience. An especially judgy one.

On that note, he approached the table with a smile and drew his arm across to the seated guests.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Brown, I’m Jim–”

“Ms. Brown.” You mother corrected, eyeing him sharply. You went up behind him and rest your hand on his back, as a form of apology. You knew already you’d be doing a lot of that later.

“My apologies, Ms. Brown. And also for being late. It’s great to meet you.” You could hear the smile in his voice despite the curt way in which they shook his hand.

“Likewise, Jim.” Your father’s jaw clenched. “Now, shall we eat before you get called into duty again?”

Hopper forced a chuckle and you could hear it. He took his seat by you, not excusing himself to change out of his uniform or splash some water on his face like he usually did before dinner. He knew that no matter how much you mouthed off about them, there was still something there, and he respected that enough not to drag it out longer than it had to be and to take whatever they threw at him. It warmed your heart that he would do that for you, but at the same time, you wished he wouldn’t.

“It smells amazing, y/n.” Jim smiled on your right, squeezing your knee gently. You looked into his tired eyes and smiled back. He meant the world to you. Would they ever see that?

“Do you cook, Jim?” Asked your father as he served himself some vegetables, beating you to it. You sighed and served the potatoes to your mother, yourself and Jim.

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Brown–thank you, sweetheart–unless you count microwave dinners.” He laughed in that deep, rumbling voice as he scooped some potatoes onto his spoon.

“I don’t.” Snapped your father, watching him intently as he chewed. “So this is what your … relationship is like? My daughter cooks for you and you don’t even help out–”

“I like cooking for him.” You interrupted, making louder noises with the cutlery than needed. You used to get reprimanded for that too.

Jim gently rubbed your thigh. “I meant to get here earlier, but my job–”

“So if God forbid something happened to y/n late at night, you’d be on Maple street, correct?”

“I bet you’d love if something happened to me, wouldn’t you, mom?” You hissed, stuffing your mouth with the potatoes. They were overcooked. Damn it.

“Please don’t be a martyr, y/n.” She scoffed.

“How could I be when you steal the show, mom?” You snapped and watched her jaw drop. That had never happened before.

“Y/n! That is not how you speak to your mother. Apologize.” You could see the perspiration on your father’s forehead already, and the next level would be his vein throbbing. Some part of you wanted to push him further.

“No, I’m good. Honey, could you pass the ham?” You asked Hopper, and it took him a second to blink and realize you were talking to him. He did as asked with a slight frown as he watched you closely.

You could feel your father’s eyes burn holes through you a while longer before he wordlessly returned to his dinner. You’d nailed the ham. That Jacques Pepin really knew what he was doing.

“If we knew this was how it was going to be, we’d never had flown up.” Your father said passive-aggressively, attacking the poor ham with his knife. “Thought we could just visit our daughter for Christmas …”

“Don’t pretend like that’s all you’re here for, dad.” You rubbed your fingers over your eyes, feeling moisture come back.

“Well, of course, it’s not! We paired you up with the most perfect man!” He exploded, and you were surprised he could hold it in for as long as he did. Of course, he would bring up the lowest point in your life.

“Oh, Gerald?” You scoffed, watching his vein pop. Hopper shifted uncomfortably, arms ready to interrupt if it came to that. He knew everything about your past.

“Yes, Gerald! He went to Yale! He’s going to be a doctor, y/n.” Your father cried, eyebrows furrowed in a rage. Like you had stabbed him in the back. Your mind imploded with the overwhelming memories and seemed to grip at your chest painfully. You could feel another attack coming.

“He … hurt me.” Your voice cracked, and Jim’s arm came around your shoulders.

“So you say!” Your mother dropped her cutlery, leaning forward in a rage. “He is a good boy but of course you would find faults with him, y/n–”

“He hurt me …” you gasped for breath as your voice quivered, feeling the tears track down your face. “ … every. Day.” Jim’s other arm had come around your front and held you tight, but somehow it made you feel better. The weight on your chest was getting lighter with his touches, as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“Oh, I remember the lies, y/n. And that you ran away. And all for what? Him?” Your father spat, pointing at Hopper. His arms around you froze, and you followed.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve marred the Brown family name? Dating a damn divorcee who’s twice your age in the middle of Godforsaken nowhere?” He rasped, as his entire face turned red.

“What do you want me to do, dad?” You pleaded, throwing him another lifeline. You were stupid to hope, but that was who you were. “You want me to leave the man who loves me for who I am and finally makes me happy and go back to the one you two approve of? Even if he beats me up?”

You gazed at your parents through tears with a sincere question, still waiting like a fool for them to prove you right.

“Gerald would never do that.” Your father sighed, cleaning his glasses to the end of the table cloth, before looking up at you. There was nothing behind those eyes. “But, yes.”

And there it was.

You knew the moment you’d received that phone call that was the reason they were flying down. Not to check on their younger daughter who couldn’t do anything right with her life, or wouldn’t stay with the abuser her own parents had chosen for her right out of college to marry. But still, you dreamed that they were coming to see how you were doing, to meet Jim and maybe playfully threaten him to take care of you or to tell you that no matter what choices you made or who you were, that they were with you. That they loved and supported you.

You scoffed, realizing that that moment was the final nail in the coffin. You had long abandoned your dream of seeking your parents’ approval, but this was the end. You’d found a new dream already, and Jim would not make you chase him or point out your flaws. And you were completely and gratefully in love with him. And that was enough.

You gazed up at his face, at his still tired eyes and haphazard hair, but also at the overwhelming love in his eyes as he asked you repeatedly if you were alright. He was more than enough.

You smiled at him before turning back to them.

“Well, if I’m such a dishonor to the family name, maybe I shouldn’t have it anymore.” You said, straightening up in your seat as Hopper released you, but still kept his hand on your chair.

They looked up at you slowly, until they said almost at the same time, “What?”

“You heard me. And I think you should get going before the snow comes in.” You pulled your chair back and stood to your feet, watching them expectantly.

They seemed confused, and stared up at you with slack jaws until he said, “You’re kicking us out?”

“Perceptive aren’t you, father?” You mocked, and that seemed to do it. They hastily got to their feet and shuffled around to the hallway, grumbling as they put their coats on.

“You remember this moment when you turned your own family away, y/n. When you come begging back to us.”

“Jim treats me more like family than you two ever did. And if I do come back, it’ll be as Y/N Hopper.” You said, before closing the door after them. Their startled faces were etched into your mind as you walked back into the kitchen, wiping the remnant tears from your face.

“Honey?” Jim called hesitantly from behind you but paused in the kitchen when he saw you at the counter, throwing your apron on.

“You promised you’d help, Chief. Get your apron,” You smiled at him warmly through the tears as you uncovered the half mixed cake batter in the bowl. Hopper cautiously threw the apron on as he watched you, washing your hands before dousing them into the yellow batter.

“I’m sure we have a whisk, sweetheart.” He said, tucking some loose hair behind your ears.

“No, it’s better this way,” you smiled like you didn’t just cut off ties with your parents.

“You wanna talk about it?” Hopper asked in as gentle a voice as he could, eyeing the raisins in a bowl. He didn’t like raisins in his cake.

“I’m good. Could you pass the vanilla, please?” You asked, pointing your eyes to the small vial by the oven. He did as you asked, and you could still feel his eyes on him.

“The raisins, too.” You asked, but Jim didn’t spring into action this time. You entered a staredown, one where you looked at him expectantly, and he pleaded with his eyes. You gave in with a chuckle. He could be so adorable sometimes.

“Alright, but just this once.” You conceded, and he hovered behind you, laying a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing your hair this time. You paused the mixing and sighed, smiling as his arms wrapped around you again. That one ounce of doubt disappeared when you were in his arms again, and bliss replaced it.

“I love you too,” you declared, turning your face to kiss him. Jim was chaste this time and let you off with a peck, lending that moment more gooey-ness than the batter. And it only increased when he slid his fingers down your arms and into the bowl, kneading along with you.

“What are you doing?” You chuckled, leaning back into him. He was your pillar in more ways than one. You were grateful for him every day, starting with the day you’d met him at the newspaper office when he’d wanted some ‘intel’. You’d found out days later that it was all made up and the only reason he was there, was for you.

“Helping.” He hummed, kissing your cheek as his fingers intertwined with yours and straightened out the batter, and Jim Hopper was kind enough to lend the same favor to you.

And that was more than enough.

J.

[m-u-n-c-h-y]

Arthur and Abigail’s Relationship

To piggyback off of my Eliza Hot Take post, I have another fan theory/ramblings about the very interesting relationship between Arthur and Abigail. And no it’s not because they’re my guilty ship okay...

Everyone likes to talk about Arthur’s journal entry that appears at the “A Fisher of Men” mission. It’s a nice touch, in that, it establishes their close relationship and why Abigail trusts Arthur more than anyone to look after Jack.

However, everyone also has to take a second glance when Arthur writes about how he should have married Abigail. And while my guilty shipper heart would love to go down angst lane, let me be clear that my feelings towards this statement are similar to the last post I made.

Just like with Eliza, I don’t think it was out of romantic love.

Personally, I think a large part of Arthur caring for Abigail and Jack the way he does, is very much connected to Eliza and Isaac and his own guilt surrounding them. One could easily find this in canon and draw some parallels between Eliza and Abigail. Such as their young ages when they became pregnant (Eliza at 19 and Abigail at 17/18), or their status of being mostly single mothers with complicated relationships with the father of their children.

Now to make sure this doesn’t go off track, I’ll try to be focusing mostly on Arthur and Abigail’s relationship rather than Arthur and Jack’s. We can easily draw the Jack/Isaac parallel... because there is only one parallel. We know virtually nothing about Isaac except that he’s Arthur’s son, we really can’t draw too much between the two, but we at least know that Arthur definitely cares about Jack a lot, and a lot of that most likely stemmed from Isaac.

Anyway...

I believe that Arthur took a special interest in Abigail’s well being when everyone in camp found out about her pregnancy. Most likely because it brought up old memories of Eliza. And I can imagine Abigail being somewhat surprised by Arthur’s sudden helpfulness, but not being completely opposed by it due to her own lack of knowledge and understanding of motherhood, something no one is really prepared for honestly, but Arthur having experience, would help.

And when Jack’s born, the fact that Arthur actually knows how to handle a baby, unlike any of the other members of camp, is a weight off of Abigail’s shoulders (now whether she’s aware of Arthur having had a child isn’t stated in canon, and I personally think she didn’t as it seems Arthur never talks about Eliza and Isaac). She would have appreciated his help especially when John seems to be so... absent, both emotionally and physically. And probably set a high bar for how a father should act in Abigail’s head. Poor John didn’t stand a chance.

But really, I believe Arthur was doing all this for more than a little selfish reasons.

As I mentioned in my Eliza Hot Take post, Arthur would have carried over the guilt and bitterness of not being there for Eliza and Isaac as much as he should of. That his misunderstanding of Eliza’s rejection for marriage, culminated in even more self-loathing. And later, when they died, Arthur would’ve blamed himself for their deaths, for not being there like a father/man of the family should. The associated guilt, bitterness, and self loathing, coupled with the similarities between Eliza and Abigail I pointed out earlier, probably made him subconsciously start associating Eliza with Abigail, and after Jack was born, with Isaac. 

Essentially, replacing them. 

I think he saw Abigail and Jack as a means to make up for past mistakes at first. To be there for them like he hadn’t for Eliza and Isaac. And thanks to John’s disinterest in taking responsibility, it was rather easy for him to form a trusting and close bond with Abigail.

When John leaves, Arthur is obviously bitter about it, as he views it as an unforgivable act that he himself committed against Eliza and Isaac, which he believed got them killed. But I also think Arthur saw it as an opportunity to fulfill a want he’s had since maybe even before getting Eliza pregnant. To have a family of his own. 

So, Arthur began making advances without realizing it. Yes, he had the intention to marry Abigail for a brief time, probably convinced it was to do right by her, something Arthur failed to do with Eliza because Eliza straight up rejected that notion. That Arthur was trying to insert himself as a father/husband figure into Abigail and Jack’s life, due to the guilt and bitterness he harbored and this need to make up for it. To get Eliza and Isaac to stop haunting him. However, I don’t think he was consciously aware that that’s what he was doing. 

But, unfortunately for him, I think Abigail caught on, and being the “ride or die” kind of woman that rejected every man that tried to do the same after John ran off with his tail between his legs (her pov not mine), she rejected him too. And she rejected him just like she had rejected all the others, in that very blunt but very honest way that she does. Not that she does it to be cruel, but because, like Eliza, she cares about Arthur. That she doesn’t want to cause them more pain later down the line because they got together for the wrong reasons.

Personally, I imagine the scenario rather vividly, so this can be taken as my own version of how that rejection when down. You know... for funsies~

I can imagine Arthur taking Abigail and Jack out on a picnic of some sort as a little break from camp. It’s a nice day and the three are having a genuinely nice time for once, as the mounting frustration of camp duties and John leaving have been hitting them hard. When Jack waddles off within eye shot, Arthur makes a rather promiscuous comment about how Abigail hasn’t found a new man yet, sense at the time, it seems rather obvious that John doesn’t want to come back. There’s also this underlying tone of Arthur asking her why she hasn’t chosen him. A subtle thing that Abigail picks up on, because she’s seen it before while working as a prostitute.

And without missing a beat, she turns to him, looks him right in the eye, and says, “Mr. Morgan, I like you plenty. But I got this feelin’ that whenever you look at me, you’re lookin’ at someone else.”

And that... shatters Arthur. 

It’s not the rejection that hurts initially, but the fact that Abigail made Arthur keenly aware of the fact that he was basically replacing Eliza and Isaac with Abigail and Jack. And as a result, even more guilt and self-loathing sprang up. Leaving him bitter at himself for thinking he could even do that and think it was okay. At Abigail for ripping that bandaid off so viciously (he can’t stay bitter at her for long, but sometimes it reers up without him meaning to). And, of course, even more bitter at John for having a woman like Abigail, for having that love he has craved for so long, but hasn’t gotten.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Really, Marcia?

PART THRTY-FIVE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of parent death, mentions of anxiety, plentiful pop culture references, lack of dialogue because this is exposition and foreshadowing for the next chapter just hang in there with me friends

Word Count: 4.6K

Summary: Jess and Ella return to Stars Hollow once again during graduation season.

Dropping the bags again in the apartment above Luke’s almost made Ella want to laugh out loud. Maybe she shouldn’t have made such a big deal of leaving the diner to move to Philadelphia; she felt like she almost couldn’t escape Connecticut. The trip, this time, was planned in advance, however. Both Adam and Rory were graduating, and Jess’s new sister had been born only a week earlier. Much was to be done, many people to visit. It made Ella feel slightly overwhelmed, the prescribed familial nonsense. Going back to Stars Hollow was easier when she could just casually pop into Luke’s or her home, and then drive away in the Station Wagon with Jess in the passenger seat and Liz Phair on the radio whenever she felt compelled. But the graduation had a scheduled time, Rory’s graduation party had a scheduled time. There was no getting out of it.

For a moment, she had thought about staying back in her old room in the little blue house. She felt as though they were taking advantage of Luke staying over at his place as often as they did. But then it occurred to her that she had no real idea what her room looked like anymore. The few times she’d been over in recent years, she hadn’t even ventured past the threshold of the small hallway, her door the second on the right. She felt maybe it was better to leave the room the way it had been in her memory. She was not in the business of reopening old wounds for no reason other than curiosity.

There was also the issue of her father. Fiona had been cagey at best about Jake on the phone. Would he even show up to the graduation? Surely he would. Even Noah had traveled back home, for the first time in years, though without his fiancé. She was a nurse, and hadn’t been able to get away from the midnight shifts. He was a paralegal, though, and had been able to swing a Saturday afternoon graduation. But, still, there was a gnawing feeling in her stomach. A fear he would simply not show. He had been at her high school graduation, with his robotic hugs and teary eyes and the usual detached way about him. It hadn’t been warm and fuzzy, but he had been there for her. He had clapped as she crossed the stage. And, as far as Ella was concerned, Adam deserved more than she ever got from Jake. Adam called often, and seemed to get along rather well with Fiona, but remained flighty about their father. She could count on him changing the subject every time Jake was brought up.

“Hey! Eleanor,” Jess said, breaking her from her reverie.

She blinked harshly and jumped at the sound of his voice. Slowly, she turned her gaze away from the view of the window above Luke’s kitchen sink. Town square was decorated with florals, and the troubadour stood playing an upbeat, folksy tune on one of the corners. And, as she thought about her family, it had all struck her as a bit plastic. It seemed impossible for so much heartache to happen to her while living in a place like Stars Hollow, but it had. In spite of the sunshiney smiles and the constant offerings for help. Probably why she got along with Jess so well, who understood more than anyone she had ever met what it was to feel a pain she could truly recognize. Luke, too. She wondered at how many people milling down on the sidewalk were concealing all of their hurt for the sake of maintaining a positive, cheerful facade. The farther away the years took her from her upbringing, the more reasons she felt she was better off somewhere other than her hometown. She had never quite been able to polish her outward mold, could never keep it all under wraps. Instead, she ended up cursing out kids who tried to steal random shit from the diner or punishing herself through constant schoolwork and lack of sleep, all to keep her problems from making it from her mind to her mouth. And, most of the time, she had slipped up eventually. Once more, her father came to her mind. He hadn’t been able to wear a convincing mask, either.

“...yeah?” she asked, then looked down to realize the glass she had been filling with cold water from the tap was overflowing onto her hand.

Quickly, she shut off the sink and sipped carefully at the drink, until it was back down to a manageable level. She switched it to the other hand and shook off the wetness, though it hadn’t felt unwelcome after having just come in from the May heat. Jess smirked quizzically at her, from where he stood at the fridge. They were meant to have a late lunch and then go over to Liz’s house and meet the baby, Doula. Despite how much Luke was making fun of it, Ella couldn’t say she hated the name.

“Jeez, Stevens. Where’d you go?” Jess’s voice was lilted and smug as he pulled some leftover sandwiches from the fridge. Luke had instructed them to finish off whatever diner cast-offs they could find. It reminded Jess of his teen years, tense dinners with Luke at the small kitchen table, eating stale food which had been prepped but never actually ordered. And he felt an odd, surprising jolt of nostalgia. But his face didn’t show it.

She shook her head at herself, placing her glass down on the table and grabbing the cutlery as Jess put the leftovers out on the table buffet-style. It reminded her of the way he arranged a meal on her kitchen table the night they’d watched the prom scene of Carrie together, when he’d brought her a care package because she had a migraine and then refused to admit to it later. And, for the most fleeting of moments, she was in the past and they were the people they had once been. A fond smirk tugged at her lips as she sat down, plates and forks in hand.

“Nowhere,” she replied finally, her voice a sigh. Before Jess could ask anything further, she gave him a pointed glance as she piled some cold mashed potatoes onto her plate and continued. “You sure you’re okay going to Liz’s house today? We could always wait until tomorrow morning, then we could have an excuse to leave and go get ready for the graduation.”

He seemed to consider the idea of a moment as he took his first bite of meatloaf, then shook his head. “No. Let’s just rip the bandaid off.”

“That’s the spirit when you’re going to see a new baby,” she quipped.

“I can guarantee the baby will be easier to handle than Liz and TJ, no matter how much she cries,” Jess grumbled, looking down at his food.

Ella bit the inside of her cheek and leveled him with her eyes. Each time they returned to Stars Hollow, he seemed to get more anxious about it. At first, it was because the entire town had hated him as a teen. But it got much worse when Liz moved there. She thought it strange how much everyone seemed to discount how Jess felt about this, how much Luke complained about her. How much they expected Jess to get over what he was feeling and play dutiful son. It reminded her of the way she felt she needed to treat her own father after her mother died. Though the sexist bullshit about her being the ‘woman of the house’ had also played a part. She knew how Luke felt about family, how he would always show up for family regardless of circumstance. Maybe Jess was the same way, loyal to a fault. But maybe it was only for his chosen family. Maybe the rest of it was more because of all the outward pressure he faced.

She reached over and ran a hand through his hand, smoothing it out. For a moment, she thought of saying something, but decided it wasn’t the right time to start a conversation about Jess’s childhood, or the lingering effects he still wouldn’t acknowledge. Not right before seeing his mother. She was trying hard lately to be patient, despite the way his eyes became guarded at the mention of his new sister or his mother, or the increased frequency of his nightmares. It was getting worse before her eyes and she didn’t know why. But Jess was Jess. And he wasn’t going to see it until he was ready to. It almost physically pained her, the effort of swallowing down the words, but she bit her tongue nonetheless.

He offered her a lazy, lopsided smile in return.

.   .   .

His grip on her hand was tight as they made their way into Liz and TJ’s house, just as gaudy and eclectic as Ella remembered from the baby shower. She might’ve even found it charming if it weren’t for the screaming color of the decor. The place smelled of burnt toast and sour milk, and Ella was instantly glad she and Jess had chosen to eat beforehand, just in case Liz asked them to stay for dinner. The scent was overpowered only by the strong perfume Liz was wearing, which Ella couldn’t ignore as Liz pulled her in for a big hug of greeting.

“Come in, come in,” Liz said in her high, sing-song voice as she led them down the front hall and into the living room. “She’s just waking up from nap!”

The room was littered with toys, empty bottles, blankets, story books Doula wouldn’t be able to read for years. But it was sweet. Ella could see how much they’d been preparing, planning. For a second, she was relieved about it, but then the feeling mixed with a distasteful sadness. Jess had never specifically addressed his bedtime routine as a child, but Ella was fairly positive Liz had never read him Goodnight Moon. She gave his hand a final squeeze before disentangling their fingers and sitting down on the paisley patterned couch. Liz lifted Doula up from the bassinet in the corner by the rocking chair. Ella could barely see the baby beneath the patchwork quilt she was swaddled in. Doula fussed for a moment, and Liz smiled at the two of them apologetically.

“She needs a change. I’ll be right back!” she said, retreating back into the bedroom. “Make yourselves comfortable!”

“Okay. Thanks,” Ella replied cordially. She looked back at Jess as his mother exited the room. “You okay?”

He shrugged, his eyes surveying the clutter. “I guess so. It’s just weird still. All of this.”

Ella hummed, nodding.

“And I’m not really used to the whole baby thing yet. I’ve never even held one before,” Jess said, slightly sheepish and slightly curious. He crossed his arms over the Metallica logo on his worn t-shirt. He’d taken a half day working at Truncheon before they left for Connecticut, and was always happy to change into less professional attire after his shifts.

“I know, but it’ll be easy. Unless TJ pops out and sings that song the frog does in Looney Tunes. Then is the only instance when you’d be even slightly at risk of dropping her,” Ella assured him, leaning back into the overstuffed couch.

She’d gleaned from their conversation the night before that his inexperience with children was also not helping his nerves. The only time she’d ever recalled Jess interacting with kids for any real length of time was the one Thanksgiving she’d brought him to meet her family. But even then, she’d been surprised how easily he’d wowed Erin with his card tricks, and played along with her jokes. Not something she’d exactly expected from the boy who wore a battered leather jacket and a constant scowl and a scarred heart on his sleeve.

“Why do you always worry he’s gonna do that?” Jess asked, cracking a smile for the first time since they’d walked in.

“I told you! He sang it to me one time when I was working and he was hanging out at the diner. He was trying to figure out what song to serenade your mom with,” she explained, eyes wide and utterly serious. “I was just wiping down the counter, minding my own business, and he just appeared, like, right over my shoulder.”

Jess rolled his eyes at the story, remembering when Ella had first told him about it over one of their phone calls, back when they were hundreds of miles apart. “Well, it doesn’t seem like he’s here right now.”

“I didn’t think he was in the diner when it happened,” Ella countered, her voice jokingly grave.

Jess chuckled but didn’t have a chance to respond as Liz reentered the room. A large smile stood out on her face, the baby dressed in a soft punk onesie in her arms. Doula squirmed around a little and cooed, but didn’t seem altogether unhappy.

“Ready to meet your little sister, Jess?” Liz asked, coming over and preparing to put Doula in Jess’s arms before he even had a chance to answer.

“Guess so,” he muttered hastily, eyes widening.

“Just be careful with her head,” Ella offered, watching as Liz hovered over her son, placing her daughter’s head in the crook of his arm.

Jess was surprised at how naturally his other arm moved to cradle her. She felt so light, it was as though he was holding nothing at all. Her skin was slightly flushed from the warmth of the quilt she’d been napping in, and he could feel the heat against his arms and his chest, through his t-shirt. His heart fluttered around anxiously in his chest, and he couldn’t help the slight trembling in his hands, but he was pretty sure he had a good grip on her. Liz straightened up again, looking down at the two of them. Jess almost couldn’t take his eyes off the baby, embarrassed at how awestruck he was. Ella’s nieces were the youngest kids he had ever been in contact with. He had never met someone when they were only a week old before.

“Isn’t she something?” Liz said, hands on her hips. “She looked a lot like Danny Devito when she first came out, but I think she’s finally getting past that early ugly baby phase.”

Jess hummed in absent acknowledgement, but said nothing. Doula had thin wisps of blonde hair, and pudgy, rosy cheeks. Her fingers were curled into small fists, her legs scrunched up. He wondered vaguely if she was going to fall back asleep, since it seemed she couldn’t keep her eyes open for very long. She smelled like rash cream, but he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed at it.

“Yeah, she’s beautiful, Liz,” Ella answered, though her gaze went back and forth between the baby and Jess. She couldn’t think of a time when she’d seen his eyes so clear and full of wonder before. She’d been too young to hold a newborn when Adam arrived, but she remembered the feeling of holding Erin as a baby, in the hospital just hours after Julie had given birth to her. It was certainly a unique feeling, and she felt her heart swell at the thought of Jess getting to experience it.

Glancing back at the kitchen for a moment, Liz once again gained a frantic tone in her voice. But, after having known her for so long, Ella knew it wasn’t unusual. Liz was the kind of person who put her coffee cup on the top of her car while unlocking the door, and then drove away without remembering it, the mug shattering and coffee splattering on the road behind her.

“Damn, I was just makin’ a bottle when you guys got here. TJ usually does that stuff, but dinner got a little burned. He had to go get some Plan B takeout. Let me finish with the formula,” Liz said, making her way back towards the opening into the kitchen. “You guys okay with her for a second?”

“Yeah. Fine,” Jess answered, surprising Ella.

Just as Liz left again, Doula opened her eyes once more. But instead of letting them shut, she kept them open. She stared up at Jess, her large brown eyes meeting his and doing their best to focus on his face.

“She’s got a withering stare,” he murmured.

“Isn’t so hard, is it?” Ella shifted a little closer to him, leaning over his shoulder to see Doula. “You didn’t have to be nervous.”

“Yeah, maybe not,” Jess said quietly, a small smile on his face as he glanced over at Ella.

.   .   .

Back when she graduated high school, there had been rain. The day before, they’d had to move the ceremony preparation into the small auditorium. People were squished inside, standing up in the aisles once the seats ran out. Ella’s valedictorian speech had been a bit more than daunting with a bunch of irritated family and friends facing her, those who had traveled miles to Stars Hollow only to be packed into the smelly room like sardines. She supposed having graduation outside in the gazebo was better. The class size was small at Stars Hollow High, but it was best when everyone still had personal space. The one downside was the heat. Connecticut was not usually up near ninety degrees in late May, but a pocket of dry air was currently sitting atop the state, moving at a glacial pace.

Ella and Jess had sat sweating on some lawn chairs. While Julie and her husband Michael, who still lived in the same small house in New Britain, were on Ella’s other side, trying to get their girls to sit through the ceremony to moderate success. Annie’s wild curls were blowing in the scorching wind as she sat on her father’s lap, reading the small storybook she’d brought with her. Erin, on the other hand, just about to cross over into adolescence and middle school, had folded her arms sullenly over her chest and rolled her eyes at nearly every name called up to receive a diploma. Ella didn’t imagine she would’ve reacted much better at that age, being forced to sit out in the heat for hours only to watch Adam be handed a piece of paper. Noah had been on the far side of their row of seats, in his plain clothes, looking stoic as usual. He would be leaving just after the fanfare ended. He’d stayed at a motel the night before, with perhaps even less desire to stay in the little blue house than Ella had.

The valedictorian speeches were actually pretty good, but long. Adam would’ve been giving one if he hadn’t stopped trying in every one of his classes except for those involving science during his senior year. Ella respected the decision though. She had never found any application for calculus in adult life, no matter how hard she had worked at it in high school.

Fiona and Jake had shown up, together for some reason, ten minutes late. No seats were left near Ella, or anyone else in the family. Instead, they were relegated to the far back row. Her brows furrowed at their entrance, but they didn’t get close enough to Ella for her to say anything. Jess had brought her arm around her shoulder as she watched them pass her without so much as a look, and took to whispering jokes about their old principal in her ear. It didn’t work as well to distract her as he had hoped, but it had still earned him a laugh or two, which was far from nothing.

As they all stood around afterwards, under the shade of some trees behind the old gazebo, congratulating Adam, Ella couldn’t shake the thoughts of her parents from her mind. She wondered how different the day would be if her mother had lived. Would her parents still be together? Probably. Despite the problems they hid, the ones Ella had become more aware of the older she got, they did love each other. No matter how much her mother laid down and took Jake’s outbursts and his alcoholism, and no matter how much her father ignored Sophia’s distracted nature and inability to decide on anything in life, they loved each other. And, the thought struck her suddenly, that maybe everything would have been easier to swallow if they hadn’t loved each other so much. It would have been easier to accept how quickly everything fell apart, and how quickly her father had found someone new to fill the hole in his heart.

“You okay?” Jess asked, close to her ear as they lingered amongst the group, pictures having been taken and pleasantries having been exchanged.

“Just peachy,” she replied, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

“Yeah, I can see that,” he said, pressing a kiss to the crown on her head and giving her hand another squeeze. It hadn’t taken him long to gather how angry seeing her father again had made Ella. He wondered when the last time had been.

“I could do without the Brady Bunch performance,” she whispered back to him, gesturing to the members of her family as they continued with fabricated niceties.

“Really, Marcia? But you’re the oldest sister! That means you would’ve been prom queen!” Jess teased.

She rolled her eyes and snorted a laugh. “Whatever, Wally Logan.”

Approaching the two of them with narrowed eyes, Erin still had her arms crossed over her frilly dress. She had more than one bandaid on each knee, and she had already pulled the french braid out of her red hair. Speaking mostly to Ella, she sized Jess up.

“I remember him,” Erin said suspiciously.

A confused, bemused grin crossed Ella’s face. “Yeah. At Thanksgiving. You were like five. You remember that?”

“I have a really good memory,” Erin said, shrugging, confident and casual.

Ella chuckled at the flippant ten-year-old.

“Photographic, huh?” Jess asked, eyebrows raised.

“Pretty close,” Erin replied, then focused her eyes back on Ella. “Did you ever figure out his middle name?”

“Sure did,” Ella answered, smirk growing. “You wanna hear it?”

“Of course,” Erin said. “I know for a fact it’s not Santa Claus.”

Jess rolled his eyes.

Ella leaned down and whispered in Erin’s ear. Straightening up again, Ella watched Erin’s gaze roam over to Jess doubtfully.

“What kind of a name is Cosmo?” Erin asked.

“Listen, my mom’s into crystals and-” Jess began, but Michael called Erin over for something.

“Gotta go,” Erin said, and skipped off towards her father without another word.

“C’mon, Elle,” Jess groaned, a blush creeping up his neck and warming the tips of his ears.

She chuckled, nudging him with her shoulder. “Sorry, Cosmo.”

Before Jess was able to retort, Fiona and Jake approached them. Considering they were split up, the peculiarity of the two of them arriving together wasn’t lost on anyone, not that it would ever be mentioned. At a closer proximity, Ella was surprised to see how different Jake looked. His hair was greyer, he was skinnier, there were dark circles under his eyes. Whatever has been going on in Maryland didn’t seem to be conducive to health. She had to bite back her sigh at the sight of him. Fiona was more or less the same, though Ella had visited her more or less recently. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laid eyes on her father. The shadow of the man he had been when she was a child was almost completely gone. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest.

“Hey, kids,” Fiona said, giving Ella a quick hug.

“Oh, hi,” Ella chirped, surprised at her instant warmth.

She also hugged Jess, shocking everyone involved.

“So good to see you guys! How are things in Philly? Adam tells me you just got a new apartment?” Fiona asked, buzzing and bubbly. Her black hair was cropped close to her head. Ella remembered how she used to let apprentices at the beauty salon experiment on her locks during breaks.

“Yeah, we’ve been there about a month,” Ella said. “It’s only a few blocks over from school. I can walk there.”

“How nice,” Fiona smiled.

“It is,” Jess agreed.

Shifting uncomfortably from foot-to-foot, Jake finally interjected. “Hi, Ellie.”

“Hey, dad,” she said, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Young man,” Jake greeted Jess coldly, nodding.

Jess gave a curt nod and a thin-lipped smile in response.

There was a long pause before anyone spoke again, filled with distant, amiable chatter of other families and shrieks of congratulations. Out of the corner of her eye, Ella could see Adam was already off with his friends. Soon, they would be headed to dinner and Project Graduation. Part of Ella was glad Adam didn’t want a big day of family celebration. No one would’ve survived any extended period of false positivity.

“I see you’ve got tattoos now, Ellie,” Jake said, looking down at the tulip on her arm, exposed in her spaghetti strap dress. “Your mother would’ve called that sinful, you know.”

The corners of Ella’s lips tugged up into a resentful smile, the words dripping with venom as they left her mouth before she could stop them. “Well, it’s a good thing she’s dead then, isn’t it?”

Both Fiona and Jake’s jaws dropped and it seemed all the oxygen had been sucked out of the air around them. Ella’s stomach dropped and she brought her hand over her mouth just after she said it. Her hazel eyes grew to the size of saucers. Immediately, Jess took her by the shoulders and began leading her in the direction of the diner, blurting out excuses.

“Hey, nice to see you folks, but we have to get to Rory’s graduation party tonight and it’d be pretty rude if we were late so…” he trailed off, stopping once they were far enough away, leaving Fiona and Jake flabbergasted and speechless.

“Oh my god,” Ella muttered, chewing at her thumbnail for the first time in what felt like forever. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I was gonna try to be nice if he came, because...at least he showed up, right? Fuck. Oh my god. Jess. Oh my god.”

“It’s okay, Daria. Just try to relax,” Jess breathed, steering her towards the diner as she instantly began melting down.

“I can’t relax, Jess! Don’t fucking tell me to relax! Did you hear that?! Did you hear what I just said?!” she muttered hastily. “Fuck me! Fuck! Every time I see him, my fucking mouth-”

“Hey, language!” Luke scolded her as they entered the diner, the bell jingling jovially above the door. There were only a few customers scattered around, the mid-afternoon lull.

“God, Luke, I thought age was supposed to negatively affect your hearing!” Ella snapped as Jess directed her to a stool and sat her down, hopping up on the seat next to her.

“Joe Pesci here is having a bad day,” Jess explained shortly as Luke shot Ella a bewildered stare.

“What happened?” Luke asked, arching a brow.

Ella heaved a great sigh and placed her head in her hands, elbows on the counter. “Bigmouth has struck again. And apparently she has even less of a filter now than she did in high school!”

“Right,” Luke said, increasingly confused.

Running a hand up and down over Ella’s back as she continued fuming, Jess gave Luke a dejected glance. “Green tea?”

A shadow of realization passed over Luke’s face. “Comin’ right up.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #289

“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”

How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.

[hookedonapirate]

Set My Soul On Fire

Summary: What happens when the high school principal’s son falls in love with the pastor’s daughter?

Hiding a relationship is hard, especially since Killian’s girlfriend is seventeen and not allowed to date until she’s thirty, it’s even harder to hide her pregnant belly. Can Killian save his relationship with Emma when her parents find out? Some miracles are worth fighting for no matter what. Especially when there’s a little hope involved and a whole lot of love.

Teen Pregnancy AU

Notes: Thanks for reading and the feedback! I'm so excited about this story and hope you like it. The next chapter will be in Emma's POV.

Thank you @onceuponaprincessworld as always for letting me share my ideas with you!!! You help me more than you know!

Rated: Mature

Catch up: Ch 1

Also available: AO3 l FF.N

Chapter 2

The next class Killian has with Emma is Trigonometry. Will starts texting him since he has his phone again and wants to meet her. He’s already told Ruby and Robin’s girlfriend, Regina, about Emma, and they want to meet her too. Killian’s a little leery though. It might be selfish of him, but he wants Emma all for himself. He doesn’t want Will drooling over her or his female friends fawning over her, although he does want Emma to make friends. Just not his. He knows it’s stupid, but he also knows his friends and the shenanigans they get into and he doesn’t want to scare Emma off. But he knows if Emma’s going to be in his life, she’ll have to be in his friends’ lives too. So he might as well rip the bandaid now and introduce her to them. He texts his friends and tells them to meet him at Granny’s Diner after school for lunch. It’s a half-day today, so there won’t be lunch in the cafeteria. 

 When the final bell rings, signaling the end of the school day, Killian walks Emma to her locker. His heart is pounding the entire time as he tries to gather up the courage to ask her to go to lunch with him. “So, um… how do you like your classes so far?"

 “I like them, well other than Trig,” she replies with a frustrated sigh. “Math has always been my kryptonite.”

 Killian chuckles. “Well, I didn't want to say anything, but I did notice it seemed like you wanted to pull your hair out before the class even began.” He also couldn't help but notice how she kept biting the end of her pencil while trying to solve math problems from the practice sheet the teacher had given them. He had wished he were that pencil being pressed against her lips and taking a beating from her teeth. “If you want, I can help you,” he offers, and it has nothing to do with wanting to see her bite the end of her pencil every chance he got. Okay, maybe a little. “Math happens to be my superpower.”

 Her eyes light up as though he’s offering her the world. Which he would in a heartbeat if he could. “Really? I could definitely use your help.”

 “Of course I’ll help you. How about Wednesday after school?”

 She shakes her head. “Oh, I can’t do Wednesdays, I have youth group those nights.”

 “Oh.” Right. He’d forgotten about Wednesday night youth groups. He’s never been to one himself, but his father used to try and get him to go to the youth groups held at the church he attends. Not that Killian was against youth groups, he just preferred to go to Will’s house and play video games on Wednesday nights rather than socialize with Christians he didn’t think he’d relate to. He's never been to church so he thought he’d just feel out of place. “My apologies, love. Well, how does Thursday sound?”

 “Sounds great.” A big smile graces her lips. “Thank you so much.” Taking him by surprise, she leans in and plants a chaste kiss directly on his cheek. A kiss that sends a bolt of electricity from her soft lips to his skin, and it feels like his cheeks are on fire

 He stops walking, too stunned to move his feet as his fingertips migrate to the spot, only gently brushing his cheek so he doesn’t wipe off her kiss. He never wants to wash his face ever again. 

 Emma, who’s continuing her trek, notices he’s not beside her and stops in her tracks, turning around with a concerned expression on her face. “You okay?”

 It takes him a minute to regroup. “Yeah, sorry, I just… I wasn’t expecting that,” he stutters, his voice completely wrecked as he wills his feet to move and catches up to her. “I don’t think I’m ever going to wash my face again.” 

 She laughs like he’s joking, but he’s not joking. “You should definitely wash your face.”

 “And why should I, love?”

 “One, because it would be gross not to, and two…” she looks over at him, her lips curving into a playful smirk, “Because there are many more kisses where that came from.”

 Killian’s heart soars and his face lights up like a freaking Christmas tree.

 Emma kissed him! Then she promised him more kisses. This is easily the best day of his life.

 They're almost at her locker when he starts scratching behind his ear; it’s an annoying habit he’s had since he was very young. He scratches behind his ear when he’s nervous. He’s been scratching behind his ear a lot today. He’s probably going to scratch his ear off before the day ends. He pushes through the sound of his heart pounding in his ear and he pushes through the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He pushes down the thoughts of her lips on his cheek, pushes down the memory of her promising him more kisses and pushes through the nervous butterflies in his stomach as he turns his head to look at her and holds her stare. “So um… do you want to have lunch with me and my friends?” He holds his breath, awaiting her answer, and he decides her yes or even a simple nod is all he needs for his life to be complete. 

 “Yeah, I’d love to, as long as you don’t mind me joining you.”

 Does he mind? Killian almost laughs. 

 “I mean, I know your father volunteered you to show me around, but you really don’t have to, you know?”

 Killian waves off her words, relief washing over him. “Love, I really don’t mind,” he says casually.

 “Good,” she says, a cheerful glint in her eyes as she averts her gaze. 

 His heart leaps in his chest. She likes that he doesn’t mind. He likes that she likes it. Actually he loves it. “Okay, well um… do you want to ride with me?” he offers, trying to be nonchalant, but he knows he sounds like an idiot.

 “Yeah, sure. I drove here, so you'll just have to bring me back.”

 Wow, this is so much easier than he thought it would be.  

 “Not a problem.” He goes to his locker to get his bag, and she’s still at hers when he approaches and inhales a shaky breath, simultaneously catching a whiff of her body spray or whatever it is that smells so fruity. It’s intoxicating and certainly not making this any easier on him. “You smell good,” he compliments.

 She jumps a little at his voice; she didn’t know he was standing behind her. She closes her locker door and turns around, flashing him a smile. “Thanks.” Her smile knocks the wind out of him for the tenth time that day and it’s not even noon yet. 

 His face clouds with apology. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 “It’s okay,” she says sweetly.

 They start walking down the hall, trying to make it through the parade of students either heading to their lockers or toward the exit doors. Every so often, as he leads her to his truck, their hands brush against each other or he gets pushed into her and grabs her shoulders to catch himself, apologizing to her. She never seems to mind and offers a small smile every time.

 “Can I ask where you’re from?” she questions curiously as they make their way across the parking lot. “I mean you have an accent and you keep calling me love, so I was just wondering.”

 “Please, you can ask me anything,” he’s quick to assure her, trying to recover from her smile, which is still beaming across her pretty lips.

 “I was born in England and we moved to the states after my Mum died. I was only five."

 Her smile fades, face flooding with sadness.

 His heart actually sags in his chest. He hates when she’s sad. 

 “I'm sorry,” she whispers softly. 

 “Thanks, love,” he murmurs, flashing a smile as they reach his truck. He wants to kick himself for bringing up such a depressing topic. Anything that erases the smile from her face is not worth doing or saying. As he opens the door for her, he quickly thinks of something more cheerful and less daunting to talk about. But when he offers his hand to give her a boost into the high truck seat, the touch of her hand when she slips her palm into his makes him lose his train of thought. Once she’s seated, he offers to take her bag and put it in the rear seat. She says a thank you as she gives it to him. He closes her door, puts their bags away and goes around to the driver’s side, trying to remember himself again. 

 When his seatbelt is fastened, he inserts his key into the ignition and roars up the engine, absentmindedly placing his hand on the edge of her seat to look out for students who may be walking through the parking lot behind his truck. But he finds himself getting distracted when she crosses her legs, showing off those beautiful thighs since she hadn’t bothered adjusting the skirt of the dress when the fabric rode up her legs. He also notices a gold band glinting on her left ring finger as she rests her hand on her thigh, and he can only imagine it’s a purity ring. Or rather he’s hoping it’s a purity ring, which is a weird thing to hope for, but he’s hoping it’s not a promise ring and that she hasn’t already made a commitment to someone else back in Phoenix.

 Kilian shakes his head to rid himself of the thoughts. “So, my friends are going to love you,” he says, his heart slamming in his chest as he pulls out of the spot. “They’re really nice. Except for Will. Don’t mind him, he talks a lot of shit.” Killian immediately claps his hand over his mouth, eyes wide with apology as he steers with his other hand. “Sorry, love, I shouldn’t have cursed,” he says, glancing over at her.

 Emma laughs and shakes her head. “It’s okay, really. I’m seventeen, not a nun.”

 “I know, but you are—”

 “The daughter of a pastor? Yeah, I’m aware,” she says bitterly. “I hate when people call me that. I hate being known as the pastor’s daughter.”

 “You’re preaching to the choir here, love. I’m the principal's son, remember? And when my older brother was in school, he was a football captain and everyone loved him, so I was also known as Liam’s little brother. It was either Mr. Jones’ son or Liam’s brother.”

 Her eyes widen and she reaches her hand out and touches his arm. Killian shutters as though she’s just electrocuted him.

 “You totally get it then.”

 Bloody hell. Emma's touching his arm. And it’s not just a simple touch. Her hand lingers on the sleeve of his shirt for a moment, where it's rolled up, her thumb brushing over his skin. He feels like his skin is on fire and he almost dies of joy; he almost melts into a puddle on the floor of the truck.

 She removes her hand and he’s able to breathe again, however weakly. “For once I’d like to be known as Emma, ya know? Like when people see my father, I would love for someone just once to say, hey, you’re Emma Nolan’s father, what’s your name?”

 Killian nods understandingly and makes a mental note to greet her father as such when he meets her. Bloody hell, he’ll have to meet her father. Killian pales and swallows harshly at the thought. Fuck, her father would kill him for the things he’s envisioning doing to his daughter. At the same time, he can't wait to meet the people who created such a beautiful creature. “I know, me too. I wish they’d say to my dad, hey you’re Killian’s father? I’ve heard so much about you. And aren’t you a principal?”

 “Yes, exactly,” Emma laughs, her eyes lighting up and her smile blossoming across her face. 

 He wants to make it his mission to put a smile on her face every single day, from this day forward. He will do anything to put that wonderful smile on her face. He will move freaking mountains, then he’ll jump off of them, he’ll walk through fire and then he’ll do it again and again. If that would make her smile. 

 “So please, don’t walk on eggshells when you’re around me. You can cuss like a sailor, you can get high or drink if that’s what you do, you can do whatever around me, I’m not the judgy type.”

 “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the judgy type, love.”

 “Thanks,” she says appreciatively. “Truthfully, my parents aren’t either. Everyone thinks because my father’s a pastor that all he does is preach because that’s literally his job, and that he’s this very strict father who runs his house like a convent, but that’s far from the truth. He’s more of the accepting type, not the shunning type. I mean, sure my curfew is eight and I’m not allowed to date until I’m thirty or have sex until I’m married, but other than that he’s actually pretty cool.”

 Killian nods; he’d expected those three rules from her father, and he wished that changed how he felt about Emma, knowing she’s off limits, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes him want her more. She's like the forbidden fruit Eve gave to Adam, only he imagines Emma is much more delicious and sweeter than any fruit. He’d die a thousand times just to find out.

 “Those are the same rules my father sets for me.”

 Emma raises a doubtful brow. “Really?”

 He shakes his head and laughs. “No, but pretty close.”

 “So you don’t date?” she asks, taking him by surprise.

 “No, I don’t, but not because I’m not allowed to, I just haven’t met anyone I wanted to date,” he confesses, looking away, hoping he’s not blushing profusely right now. I haven’t met anyone I wanted to date until now, is what he really wants to say, but he doesn’t, and instead casually breezes by his thoughts. “I mean when does a highschooler have time to date anyway?”

 “Yeah, that’s true. I mean it seems like all I do is go to school, do homework, go to church, go to work. So it's probably a good thing I’m not allowed to date.”

 “Yeah probably.” They share a fleeting glance with one another and then look away again. He knows she’s thinking the same thing he is. Or at least he hopes she is. He wants to shatter the hell out of her father’s rules. 

 He parks in front of Granny's Diner and kills the engine before unbuckling his seatbelt. His eyes fall to her ring again, but he doesn't realize he's staring at it until she breaks the silence.

 “It's a purity ring—it symbolizes a vow I made to abstain from sex until I’m married.”

 He sighs in relief. He's glad it's not a promise ring; well technically it is, but it's not the type of promise ring that binds her to a guy back in Phoenix. Nope, he only has God to compete with. 

 As he lifts his head to look at her, his eyes dance with amusement at the fact that she had caught him looking at her ring.

 “I saw you staring at it,” she teases with a playful smile.

 Killian smirks and cocks a brow, leaning in and whispering something sultry in her ear. “How do you know it was your ring I was staring at?”

 Emma lifts a brow, tilting her head toward him. “You mean you were interested in something else in my lap?”  

 He wants to grab her face and kiss that naughty little smirk she's donning. “More like what’s in between your lap. How do you think your ring caught my eye in the first place?”

 He loves it when he hears her breath catch in her throat. He loves having that kind of effect on her. He loves it a little too much. 

 "Well, um… we should probably head in," she says, turning her head away from him, trying to reassemble herself. 

 He can tell she's all flustered as she struggles to open the door. "Here, allow me." He reaches across to open the passenger door, his other hand slipping over her knee. He really didn't mean to touch her, his hand merely migrated there. 

 He can hear Emma's breath hitch again over the pounding of his heart in his ear.

 “Are you sure you want to join us?” he asks, clearing his throat as he pulls away from her and opens his own door. 

 “Yeah, sure, why not? Sounds like a fun group.”

 “Well they are pretty fun, but I just wanted to give you one last chance to back out.”

 Emma laughs. “Thank you, but I’m good. I want to meet your friends.” 

 “Okay, just checking.” He smiles at her and she offers one in return before they jump out of the truck and head inside.

 “Hey, Killian! Over here!” Ruby shouts across the diner, waving a hand in the air.

 He and Emma make their way toward a round table where his friends are sitting as they all stare at her.

 Will and Robin are whispering and laughing to themselves and Ruby and Regina have big grins plastered on their faces.

 “Just remember, ignore Will,” Killian says in Emma's ear so she can hear him over the chatter of the diner. “In fact, just ignore all of them.” 

 “Okay,” she laughs, “but I’m sure they’re not that bad.”

 “You’re right. They're worse.”

 He walks over with Emma, holding his breath. “Hey guys, this is Emma. She just moved here from Phoenix.”

 “Hey, Emma, I’m Ruby and this Regina. You can sit next to us if you want,” she says patting the chair between them.

 Emma looks at Killian, a little unsure, so he gives her a reassuring nod, although he’s a little bummed Ruby pulled her away from him. Apparently Will is too, and he frowns as Emma sits across from him. 

 “Hey, Emma, the name’s Will,” he greets with a big grin as Killian takes the chair between him and Ruby.

 Robin is sitting between Will and Regina, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend's shoulder as he offers Emma a warm smile. “Hi, I’m Robin.”

 “Nice to meet you,” she says politely. 

 Regina and Ruby seem to gush over the new girl, overwhelming her with questions before Ashley, their waitress, brings Killian his usual Cherry Coke and takes Emma's drink order since no one knows what she drinks yet.

 “I'll take a Cherry Coke.”

 “Aw, they’re soulmates,” Ruby teases Emma and Killian, making them both blush. 

 He wants to just offer his to Emma, but he doesn’t want to weird her out. Too much.

 Be subtle, Jones, be subtle.

 “Ashley, this is Emma, She’s new,” Ruby introduces to Ashley.

 “Hi, Emma, how do you like it here so far?” Ashley asks with a warm smile.

 “I like it. Everyone's really nice.” Emma’s eyes are locked with Killian’s as she adds, “I have a really good tour guide, so that helps a lot.”

 He blushes profusely and looks into his glass, taking a sip of his soda through his straw. This woman is trying to kill him. 

 “That’s great. I’ll get your soda, be right back,” Ashley says before rushing off.

 Killian was hoping Ashely would've distracted Will, and that he would’ve flirted with her like he always does, but today he's too busy staring at Emma. Not that he blames Will though. Killian's already obsessed with her and he just met her.

 “You look even better in person,” Will blurts out to Emma from across the table.

 Killian almost dies in his seat from humiliation.

��“In person?” she questions, her thin brow raised in confusion.

 “Uh, yeah…” Killian starts to say, but Will interrupts him.

 “Killian here sent a pic of ya this mornin'.”

 Bloody hell. 

 Killian is silently cursing Will enough as it is, and then he remembers what he’d texted him and Robin when he sent the photo. Killian’s face immediately pales. He’d said she was his future wife. He’d said she was going to have all his babies. 

 Fucking Christ.

 Don’t tell her what I said. Don’t tell her what I said. Don’t tell her what I said, Killian prays silently as he glares at Will.

 “Oh really, you sent him a picture of me?” Emma’s eyes are on him now, and he feels like he could burst into flames at any moment. 

 His face is scarlet as he offers a small smile and scratches behind his ear, hoping the floor of the diner will open up and swallow him whole. “Uh yeah… Will wanted me to take a picture of you,” he explains, quickly throwing Will under the bus, because if Killian’s going down, Will’s going with him.

 “Aye, I told him to send a pic if you were hot.”

 Oh god.

 Killian plants his face in the palms to hide the redness in his cheeks as he whispers silent curses into his hands. “Bloody hell.”

 “Oh? Is that so?”

 To his relief, Emma doesn’t sound pissed. Maybe a bit curious, but not pissed. He sighs in his hands, and when he lifts his head, she’s still staring at him intensely with a raised brow.

 “Now you know why I told you to ignore him,” Killian chuckles nervously, trying to amend the situation.

 “You did warn me,” she laughs never taking her eyes off of Killian as he feels a foot lightly rub at his ankle. Judging by the soft smile on her face, he thinks it’s hers, perhaps to reassure him that he doesn't have to be embarrassed about snapping her photo in class and sending it to his friends. He wants to look under the table to see that it's her foot, but he knows it would be too obvious.

 “Oi, is that any way to talk about your best mate?” Will asks him, offended.

 “He’s not wrong to warn the poor girl,” Regina remarks.

 Will pouts and the others laugh as Ashley returns with Emma’s drink and takes their lunch orders. Killian recommends Granny’s cheeseburger to Emma, but she goes for the grilled cheese sandwich instead. She says they’re her favorite and she wants to try Granny's version. He’ll have to remember that. He wants to fill his head with all things Emma.

 After Ashley returns with their food, and they all start digging in, Emma says it's the best grilled cheese sandwich she's ever had and she makes yummy noises as she chews her food. Killian likes the sounds she makes. He likes that she's enjoying her sandwich.

 Ruby and Regina ask her if she’s trying out for cheerleading, but Emma says she’s too busy with church, school and work to cheerlead.

 “Where do you work?” Ruby asks curiously. 

 “Nowhere yet since I recently moved, but I’m working on saving some money so I can get a place of my own when I graduate high school. Plus, having a job will give me an excuse to not be at church all the time.”

 “So, are you catholic?” Regina inquires before taking a bite of her burger.

 “No. Evangelical. My Father’s a pastor at the Living Hope Community Church.”

 “Wait, what’s the difference between being a Catholic and being an Evan—whatever you call it?” Will asks with his mouth full of fries. “Either you believe in God or you don’t.”

 “You knucklehead,” Regina shakes her head, rolling her eyes in annoyance. “Don’t mind him, Emma.”

 “No, it’s totally fine,” Emma assures with a smile, and she goes on to explain the difference between Catholicism and Evangelism. Normally Killian would probably tune it out, but with Emma, he finds himself hanging on her every word and wanting to know more of what she has to say and what she believes in.

 “But I don't want to bore you guys with religious talk if you’re not into it.”

 “Oh please, you’re not boring at all, lass. Maybe you can give some private lessons about your religion,” Will says with a wink.

 Killian kicks him in the shin underneath the table.

 “Ow, what in the bloody ’ell was that for?!” 

 Killian says nothing and just glares at him.

 What part of ‘she’s my future wife’ did you not understand, mate?!

 Will apologizes for cursing, but Emma assures the group they don't have to walk on eggshells, just as she'd told Killian.

 “Hey Emma, you should apply here as a waitress,” Ruby suggests. “We could use an extra hand.”

 “Oh, you work here?”

 “Yeah, Granny’s her granny,” Regina answers for her.

 “Oh, I didn’t know that. Do you have applications here or do I apply online?”

 “We have some here. I can get you one before you leave.”

 “Thanks, that’s nice of you.”

 “No problem,” Ruby says with a wide grin. “Any friend of Killy’s is a friend of ours.”

 “What have I told you about calling me Killy?” he grumbles. He hates that nickname with a passion.

 “What’s wrong with Killy?” Emma asks. “I kind of like it. But don't worry I won’t call you that.”

 Oh. He loves how Killy falls from her lips and suddenly he loves that name. He could hear her call him that all day. “Emma, you can call me whatever you want,” he assures with a cheeky grin.

 Ruby's mouth falls open and she appears to be offended. “So five years of friendship and I don't get to call you Killy, but you know Emma for one day and she can call you whatever she wants?”

 Killian nods. “Exactly.”

 The rest of lunch goes off without a hitch, and the guys pay for lunch. Will actually argues with Killian because they both insist on paying for Emma's meal, but Killian is the first to hand Ashley his bank card. Emma tells him thank you and that he didn't have to, but he says it was his pleasure. He'd pay anything to put a smile on her face; he doesn't mention that though.

 After Emma gets an application and they leave the diner, Killian takes her back to school so she can get her car. She drives an old yellow Volkswagen and he can’t help but laugh when he sees it.

 “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s old fashioned,” he comments, giving the roof of the car a friendly pat. “She’s about as old as they come.”

 Emma scowls at him as though he’d just offended her instead of her vehicle. “Hey, don’t make fun of her.” She throws an unpleasant look at his truck, scrunching up her nose. “Besides your Ford is not exactly new.”

 Killian brings his hand to his chest, as though he’s been wounded. “Oi, don’t knock my Ford. We’ve weathered many a storm together.”

 “Well don’t knock my Bug,” she retorts, planting her hands on her hips. “We’ve also been through a lot. She may be ancient, but she’s very dependable.”

 “Fair enough,” he chuckles. 

 When silence overwhelms the air around them, he gets extremely nervous again and starts scratching behind his ear. “So, um… I’m sorry about Will. He can be a big pain in the arse sometimes.”

 Emma shrugs like it’s no big deal. “You did warn me ahead of time,” she points out.

 “That I did, and you still wanted to join us,” he says with a small chuckle.

 “Yeah, well it wasn’t so bad,” she assures with a soft smile, which fades when she purses her lips, studying him intensely as she crosses her arms over her chest. “So um, you sent him a pic of me, huh?”

 Bloody hell. He was hoping she wouldn’t bring that up. He could kill Will for telling her about the photo he’d sent.

 “Aye,” he replies bashfully, his cheeks heating up with blush. “I hope you don’t mind.”

 “Well, that depends on the picture you took. Can I see it?”

 Bloody fucking hell. She wants to see the photo? If she sees it, then she’ll see the text he’d sent Will.

 Fuck fuck fuck, he’s so screwed. “Uhhhhh… I can’t actually,” he tries, his cheeks burning. Scratch that. His cheeks are on fucking fire.

 She frowns in disappointment. “Why not?”

 “Because it’s embarrassing,” he mumbles, his eyes falling to the pavement between their feet.

 He doesn’t realize his mistake until she says, “My photo is embarrassing?” and he looks up and sees the offended look on her face.

 “No, love...” He closes his eyes in regret and opens them. She looks thoroughly confused as she stares at him with those sharp green eyes piercing through his soul. “I meant the text I sent along with your photo is embarrassing.”

 She arches a brow, a hint of intrigue flashing in her eyes. “A text? Can I see it?”

 Yep, he’s going to murder his best friend. “Love, I assure you, you really don’t want to.”

 “Why not? It’s about me isn’t it?”

 “Well yeah but—”

 “So, show me.” This time it’s not a question, it’s definitely a demand and something tells him he does not want to refuse her.

 He sighs in defeat. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He pulls out his phone, and with trembling hands, he brings up the photo, along with the message he’d sent to Will. It’s all there on his screen for her to see. He hands his phone to her and holds his breath.

 She looks at it and blinks a few times, but he can’t tell what she’s thinking. He really wishes he could read minds at that moment.

 “I’m sorry, love,” he says quietly, every word laced with shame and remorse.

 “You regret sending it?” she asks, her eyes glancing up at him. Her stare sends an explosive bomb at him, making him flinch.

 “No, I don’t.” He swallows thickly, waiting in high anticipation for her response. “But I’m sorry if it offends you. I never meant for you to see it. You’re just the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and you’re really nice too.”

 She doesn't say anything for what feels like ten years, so he takes that as a failure on his part. 

 “Sorry,” he whispers and starts to turn around. She still has his phone, but she can keep it for all he cares. Or throw it in a river. The phone can drown in humiliation, along with his heart.

 She takes him by surprise when she grabs him by the collar of his shirt and lays a kiss on his mouth. He slams his eyes shut to savor the feeling of her lips—they’re like soft, delicate rose petals—pressed against his lips. She pulls away, leaving him standing as still as a statue, his eyes still closed. 

 When he finally opens them, she’s doing something on his phone, but he’s not sure what, because he can’t keep his eyes off her lips. The same lips that connected with his. He can still feel a pleasant tingling sensation on his mouth, and his entire body shudders when he replays the kiss in his head.

 She finishes with whatever she’s doing on his phone and hands it over to him. He takes it as she leans in and murmurs something in his ear, “Like I said, there are more kisses where that first one came from…. so you better wash your lips.” Emma gets in her car and roars up the engine, a shy smile playing along her lips as she pulls out of her parking spot and drives off. 

 Killian, however, can’t seem to move. He can’t breathe. He can’t speak; his brain is still trying to process what had happened. He showed her the most humiliating text and she kissed him! She planted a big wet one on him and then told him he’d better wash his lips so she can kiss him again. He’s dumbfounded and he’s still standing here in the vacant parking lot as he watches Emma’s car disappear into the distance.

 When he’s finally able to move again, he lifts his phone and unlocks the screen to see what she had done, his heart pounding mercilessly.

 A big, goofy grin takes over his whole face. 

 What she had done gives him the strength and energy to move his feet again and he practically skips to the driver’s side and hops into his truck. Yep, that’s right—he skips and hops. 

 Not only did Emma add her phone number to his contact list, but she’d also typed My Future Wife in place of her name. As in his future wife. Which means he’d see My Future Wife displayed on his caller i.d. every time she texted or called him. 

 Emma Nolan, you’re falling in love with me already. And you’re going to fall HARD. 

 Killian still has a stupid grin plastered on his face as he peels out of the parking lot. He’s still in awe, a complete disarray of emotions. Emma kissed him. On the lips. Then she called herself his future wife. 

 Best. 

 Day. 

 Ever.