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marclvsf1 · 7 months ago

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YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE // Sebastian Vettel

Sebastian vettel x plus-Size!Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story has been sitting unfinished in my drafts for over two weeks, so I think it's about time I uploaded it. By the way, English is not my first language so I accept constructive criticism and I apologize if there are any spelling errors.

WARNINGS: angst, anxiety attack and abandonment. Read at your own risk

Since you and Sebastian decided to make your relationship public both in the media and in the networks, you knew perfectly well that you would receive messages of support and love, and also that you would receive messages from people who would not agree with you or your relationship, and even messages of hate. But this last type of messages had been more present and had been many more than you could have ever imagined. You couldn't believe how a person could be so evil as to constantly send hate messages and even death threats towards a person you had only seen through a screen, just for the simple fact of not having a socially normative body and dating a superstar whom thousands of people considered their idol and their example to follow.

Of course you had also received messages of love and positive messages, but although these were much more numerous than the messages of hate, the human mind tends to always stay with the negative side of things, and you were not going to be the exception, so the messages of hate made much more noise in your mind than the messages of love and support.

And there you were again. Crying in the bathroom of your room with the door closed and your back against it so that no one could enter. Even though Sebastian was away at the moment because of the races, you didn't want any of your children to see you in such a deplorable state if they woke up for any reason. Who would want to be seen in the middle of an anxiety attack, probably with the make-up you hadn't bothered to remove, looking at the hate messages sent to you by your husband's so-called fans? The answer is no one, and anyone who says otherwise really is a big liar.

After what seemed to you like hours lying on the floor of your bathroom reading and re-reading all the hate messages they were sending you, you struggled to get up and put your cell phone away before approaching the sink to find one of the worst reflections the mirror had given you in many years. Your makeup was smeared all over your face as you had expected, but your eyes were red and incredibly puffy, which gave away that you had indeed been crying for at least two hours, and you would even dare to say that you had been crying for longer.

With the little strength you had at that moment, you opened the faucet and began to wash your face trying to remove as much makeup as possible, you didn't even care if you had some remains or not.

Once you finished, you went to your bed, which at that moment was cold and lonely due to the lack of both your husband's and your own body.

You would be lying if you said you had had a nice, restful sleep, you doubted if you had been able to sleep for at least thirty minutes. But at least spending the whole night tossing and turning in the cold and lonely bed had helped you to clear your mind and your ideas. It was clear to you, that very afternoon you would leave the house, Seb deserved much more than what you could give him. Your heart really didn't want to do that, but your mind was clouded by all the bad comments you had been receiving lately.

So once the three children woke up and you gave them breakfast, you took them to Kimi and Minttu's house, which was only a couple of minutes drive from yours. Which they didn't find strange, since whenever either of you had things to do and had no one to leave the kids with, you took them to each other's house so they could spend time together.

When you arrived home after having been driving all the way home with tears in your eyes which left you with hardly any vision, you climbed the stairs to your room as fast as you could, and started to pack the small suitcase that you would take to your mother's house, not that you had much time before Sebastian arrived home, so once you had it ready, you took a sheet of paper and a pen from his office and started to write the most difficult letter you had ever written:

Dear sebsatian. I never thought that someday I would write this letter, and you don't know how it hurts me to do it. I am writing you this letter with tears in my eyes to thank you for all the moments we have spent together. We met in high school, and although I always deny it when we fought, I fell in love with you from the first moment we met, but I never thought we would get to where we are today: married and with three beautiful children. I still remember the day I told you I was pregnant for the first time, your eyes full of illusion when I showed you the test I had done days before, and you confirmed that it really wasn't any of my jokes and that I was pregnant for real. I remember how your arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to you before hugging me with all your strength as if I was your greatest treasure and would disappear the moment you let go, before filling my face with kisses while our laughter echoed throughout the room. And your reaction was no less when I told you the next two times. And I promise you that you are the best father I could have ever chosen for my children. But I am not the best mother or the best wife you could ever have. That is why I am writing this letter right now. I am leaving, but don't think that you have done anything wrong or that I am leaving because of you. I'm leaving because I can't go on in this situation, pretending that everything is fine, that nothing is wrong with me in front of the kids, I can't go on pretending that all those comments don't really affect me, I can't go on pretending that they are not over afect me.

I can't stay in this house anymore, drowning between four walls. I don't know how long I'll be gone, maybe just a couple of days, weeks, months.... I really don't know, I just want to heal my heart and mind. So, please don't look for me. If the kids ask for me tell them I love them and that I am on a work trip. I know you will be fine without me, because as I have said before, you are the best father I could have ever imagined for my children. I love you. Don't ever forget that P.S. The kids are at Kimi's house.

Once you finished writing the letter with tears streaming down your face thankful that you hadn't worn any makeup that day, you wiped the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand. You took off the ring that had been adorning your left hand since you got married, and left it on the letter, feeling that you were also leaving a part of yourself, and walked out of the house, meeting the cab you had ordered earlier for the airport.

When Sebastian arrived home, he expected to be greeted with screams, hugs, laughter and the occasional stolen kiss as your children tried to get his attention so he could play with them as he was used to every time he returned from a Grand Prix. But when instead of screams and laughter he was greeted by silence, something inside him knew at that moment that something was wrong. But the last thing he expected was to find your wedding ring on top of a letter . When he finished reading this one, he dropped it on the floor along with the ring, feeling anger and helplessness take over his body at breakneck speed. I was not angry with you, I could never be angry with you, and even less so when you were not at all to blame. He was angry at all those people who had been sending you the messages that had led you to make that decision. But he was also angry at himself for having been so blind as not to realize what was happening in front of his eyes and how it was affecting you.

The first two weeks he accepted your request not to look for you or call you, but he was getting more and more desperate for not receiving even a simple confirmation that nothing had happened to you and that you were fine. And the children didn't help either, every day they asked him when you were coming back, to which he answered that you were on a trip and that you would come back soon, which only seemed to help them until bedtime when they cried because they wanted you to take them to bed and tell them a bedtime story.

Sebastian hadn't spent any decent nights since you left. The bed felt cold and lonely without you. He wondered if that's how you felt every time he went to a grand prix.

But you'd be lying if you said you had. You had spent each and every night crying in your childhood bed missing your family, while ignoring each and every call Sebastian had made to you, while staring at the screen wondering whether to answer him or not.

(...)

It had been three months since Sebastian had come across your letter and wedding ring after returning from a grand prix, and since then he hadn't heard from you. Little by little he was beginning to lose hope that you would come home, although a part of him would really feel that you would come home when he least expected it and keep your word . Right now he was in one of your favorite bookstores in Heppenheim while the children were at home with their parents. He would really love for you to be

with him at that time and explore together all the memories you had together in that place.

He was absorbed looking at the books of his favorite section, when a voice coming from the other side of the shelf, made him come out of his thoughts. But it was not just any voice, it was a voice that he would be able to recognize blindly in a room where everyone is talking, a voice that had accompanied and guided him in his worst moments and that had never left him before, it was your voice.

At that moment Sebastian did not know how to react, he had been three months without any news about you, and now you were in the same establishment where you had met years ago, but this time in a completely different situation.

A part of him wanted to go to where he knew you were and hug you and never let you go again. But the other part of him was telling him that he should continue to respect his decision and wait for you to come looking for him.

Without knowing how, his legs had automatically moved to where you were, as if a thread was pulling your bodies together so that they would always be united.

And there you were, standing in front of each other, staring into each other's eyes but neither of you daring to say anything for fear of breaking the bubble you had created between you and of which no one else seemed to be aware.

-Not yet, but soon- you said, daring to be the first to break the silence.

-Do you promise?- Sebastian asked, raising his hand to your face as if to caress your cheek but quickly withdrawing it along the way before making contact with you.

-I promise,-you said, giving him a slight smile.

-Okay... I... miss you, but I'm glad to have seen you at least for a moment,- he said, looking down at the ground.

-I miss you too Seb, much more than you can imagine, you and the children. But I promise you that when you least expect it I'll be back with you,-you said, daring to stroke the slight stubble that I seemed to have been neglecting lately.

-The kids are with my parents, but I still don't want to leave them alone for too long. Take care of yourself, ok? I love you,- he said before looking you in the eyes for the last time and heading to the door he had entered just a few minutes ago.

-Take care of yourself too, Seb... I love you,- you said the last part in a whisper when he was too far away to hear it.

You let out a sigh and went back to your work to try to get rid of your thoughts, being away from your family was being harder than you could have ever imagined.

[...]

Two weeks after your last meeting, Sebastian had returned home after dropping the kids off at Kimi's house, as he would soon have to leave in order to practice with the new Aston Martin. But what he certainly didn't expect was to be greeted by the melody of your favorite song and the smell of his favorite dinner coming from the kitchen. With his heart racing he approached the place and what he saw couldn't have made him happier. You were there, you were back, but you were back with a much brighter aura than the one you had when you left, and that alone made all those months apart worth it for Sebastian.

-You're back,- he said from the kitchen door, startling you by his sudden appearance.

-I thought you would come back later, dinner is not ready yet, you can sit in the living room if you want.-

-Who cares about dinner, you're back,- he said, throwing himself into your arms, making you almost lose your balance, before joining your lips in a kiss full of feelings.

-I'm back,- you replied with a smile once you parted, -I promised you, didn't I? I always keep my word.-

-I can't wait to see the children's reaction.-

-I haven't missed them either, I've missed them so much.-

-so why wait. Let's call Kimi and order something for dinner. I'm sure the kids would love to have a movie night with their mother even if it's not Friday.-

-All right,- you said, putting out the fire, -but only because I feel like it too.-

-by the way , Seb... -

-Yes?-

-I love you-

#sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #sv5 #seb vettel #sebastian vettel fanfic #vettel #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1

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fabbyf1 · 1 month ago

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Regarding that consent reblog: I appreciate the way you handle consent, education and kink in your fics so much! I love kink in fics, I love fics that are deep dead dove territory, but nothing makes me nope out more quickly than a story that has dubious consent or rape, but doesn't address it narratively or even downplays it. I read a published erotica novel recently that a friend recommended and I was close to tears by how upsetting I found the way it dealt with consent. I have no issue with reading rape, and do read it occasionally, but I find it fucked up when non-consensual situations are downplayed to something just slightly toxic, but acceptable. After that, I had even more appreciation for how you write. Specifically the warming verse made me re-evaluate how I would approach certain kink conversations with a partner. So, thank you!

tl;dr kate's rambling again but this time about consent

😭😭😭 thank you for writing all this out, bestie. this was very well said and i'm so glad that you enjoy the way i handle consent/kink in my fics!

i know not everybody likes talking about it, and clearly some people don't want it in fics at all (though i don't think they're readers of mine. i've received a lot of weird anon hate and "constructive criticism" over the years and never once has it been like "ew you write too much consent" lmfao) but it's always nice to know that people are enjoying the way i write it.

believe it or not, i never set out to be a smut writer 😂 if you go back to the very beginning of my ao3 history, i reallllllly struggled with smut at first. my first dabble into smut was in my 1D fic (which has little to no smut) and it took me ACTUAL MONTHS to write one scene. it just wasn't something i ever saw myself doing. but even though this is fanfiction and not all that serious, i still feel responsible to make it as realistic as possible.

mostly because that's what i like to read, but partly because... i think it's important people read it.

it's easy to get sort of... lost in ao3 kink/smut/dead dove stuff when you're consuming SO much of it (or too much of it) which sort of goes in line with what you were saying about non-consensual situations being downplayed to something just slightly toxic.

i feel (personally. this is different for everyone, but i'm sure some people can relate) you can easily get into a bad place where the lines of reality start to blur and you can almost... forget? that there's a difference between fanfic smut and real life sexual encounters. and i never want any of my readers to forget that they should ALWAYS advocate for their safety, for their consent, and for any other thing my characters talk about.

i never want any of my readers to go out looking for a kinky relationship (especially if they only realized they might be into that from reading my fics) and forget to protect themselves. because their safety is more important to me than views. it is more important to me than pleasing random anons who are just looking to get off and not reading the full story. and it is definitely more important to me than ao3 kudos.

i'm 33 years old, and i've found myself in too many situations in my life where i haven't always felt heard or safe in my surroundings. and if i can gentle-parent my readers into always remembering that consent is sexy and that their safety is valid and important and not worth leaving out of a silly fanfiction, than i can sleep soundly at night.

thank you.

#tl;dr kate's rambling again but this time about consent

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thorne-kreizler-fanfiction · 2 years ago

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Big Fight (Thorin Oakenshield)

Type of Fanfic: One-Shot

Relationship: ThorinXFem!Reader

Word Count: 2060

Summary: Thorin and you went into a big argument and are close to make amends.

Warnings: Jelaousy. And just a few mentions of a heated argument in a marriage.

Author's Notes: ∙English is not my first language, so please be nice.

∙If you want to give constructive criticism or correct my grammar (revise my work before I upload it) you are more than welcome to write to me or send me an ask suggesting it. This shot in particular was revised by @sssiriusly (go read their fics).

∙I have to say that this idea emerged after reading @fizzyxcustard's One-Shot: “Misunderstanding” (by the way, I really really hope you like this!).

Suggestions: Reblog, write your reaction and enjoy!

...

You were the wife of Thorin II Oakenshield, king of Erebor. At the same time, you both were extremely mad at each other.

Two months ago, you had a big argument with Thorin, the biggest fight in the history of your relationship. The truth was, you barely remembered how it started; with the jealousy of Thorin. He caught you laughing with another dwarf and ignored you the rest of the day, until you confronted him. Then Thorin screamed at you, which made you angry and made you bite back. With uncontrollable anger from both sides, the argument escalated until he hurt your feelings, and you hurt his.

It happened the way it always did; Thorin got offended and then didn't know any other way of defending himself than spitting your flaws and mistakes on your face. Besides, he would turn the tables and your words to make you seem like the bad guy.

“Do not speak to me of loyalty!” He said. “He hasn't stopped getting closer to you in such an inappropriate manner, and you have never done anything to stop him! People might think you actually enjoyed it!”

You closed your eyes and placed your forehead into your hands, trying to forget about the argument. But the memories kept coming back to your mind.

“I'm so sick of you!” You screamed. “Go away and never talk to me again!”

You shook your head, sighing. You had to work on your outbursts, as well as Thorin's needed to work on his jealousy.

Luckily, a knock on your chamber's door (you and Thorin slept in different rooms again) distracted you from the memories. “¿My Queen?” You heard Lily's voice, your personal servant.

“Come in.” You said with a small voice. Lately you hadn't talked to anyone. At your request, you stayed in your chamber every day, not being bothered by anyone, and only going out to read under the sun to stretch your body and relax for a moment. But you never came across anyone, avoiding all kinds of contact. Neither did you eat with Thorin, like you used to do; You had asked for servants to take dinner to your chamber.

“My Queen,” Lily said, while entering the chamber. “I have come to bring your dinner,” she took a pause before talking again “and to tell you the King asked me to bring you this…”

“Do not say more.” You interrupted her, looking through the window with a frown, watching the midday sun. “Please leave it on the desk and retire” you said with a brittle voice. The situation hurt you a lot, but unless Thorin apologized in person, you didn't wish to maintain contact with him. That was your pride taking over you.

“My Queen,” Lily spoke again, after leaving the tray in the desk. “he insists on me telling you he wants you to join him for dinner…”

“Please, get out.” you repeated and closed your eyes. “I do not wish to be bothered.”

You heard the door closing and laid in bed. You allowed yourself to be true to your feelings for the first time in days, and started crying. You cried until you were so exhausted that you fell into a deep sleep.

…

Thorin had been in the dining hall for an hour. He had tried, since midday, to concentrate on his duties, but the thought of whether you would accept or not his invitation to dinner was unsettling him.

The servants started to run everywhere, cooking as fast as possible and preparing the table for the King who had arrived earlier. When dinner was ready, Thorin asked to speak with Lily.

“Tell me what she said” he demanded, his voice slight but deep as always.

“My King,” she whispered, knowing what was about to come “she asked not to be bothered…” Thorin slowly nodded, closing his eyes while growling. “She never gave an answer, but…”

“You can leave now” Thorin interrupted.

“Yes, My King” she rushed to the kitchen.

“I'm so sick of you! Go away and don´t talk to me again!” he remembered your words, and the anger grew stronger in him.

The door closed, and to that it followed the noise of plates, cups and food crashing against the floor with a loud sound. Thorin yelled from the deepest of his chest, getting up. He then took the tablecloth and stretched it until he had thrown every bottle and tray to the ground. He pressed the fabric between his hands while agitatedly breathing. The guards flinched, and it had been heard from the kitchen the mess Thorin made, making the servants prepare themselves to clean the dining hall.

The King left and the place remained silent.

…

You opened your eyes and stood up quickly after realizing you had fallen asleep. You looked around and saw only darkness. When your eyes got used to the gloom, you lighted the candle from your light table and the fireplace. You sat for a while in front of it, eating the dinner that had been brought to you hours ago.

You were feeling numb, but not physically. You couldn't think of anything or concentrate on your feelings, only on the rising fire in front of you, warming your body.

When you finished eating, you decided to read a while under the moonlight. You took the tray to your desk, and there you saw it; a letter. You frowned, and when you started thinking and stirring in your memories, you remembered that Lily had left something Thorin wanted to give you. But that had been many hours ago.

You dropped the tray and rapidly took the envelope. The truth was, that even while acting indifferent, you cared about Thorin, a lot. No stupid fight could ever make you stop loving him and worrying about him. While your plate and cup tinkled, you sat in front of the fireplace and opened the letter. It read:

“I wish to apologise for my manners. What I said wasn't fair, and I haven't been sincere with you and my feelings towards you, my givashel. I do not wish for this fight between us to keep affecting us. Please, do me the honour of joining me for dinner tonight.

-Thorin Oakenshield”

You put your hand to your mouth, both trembling. You looked out the window, and deduced it was almost midnight.

You sighed with repentance and ran out of your bed chamber. While you rushed to the dining hall, going down stairs and walking through corridors, many heads turned to look at you. You even met Dwalin while he was coming out of a door in one of the hallways. Well, you rather collided with him.

“My Queen!” he exclaimed, surprised.

“I am so sorry, Dwalin.” you sighed, agitated. “I am in a rush.”

“Then I won't stop you.” he said and stepped aside, so you could follow your way.

You lowered your head as a quick greeting and kept on running. Before stepping on another pair of stairs, you turned around so Dwalin could hear you asking:

“Do you happen to know, by any chance, where Thorin is?” you shouted.

“I do.” he said, not turning around to look at you.

“Oh…” you went to where he was. “And… Could you tell me?”

He sighed and looked at you. “He asked not to be bothered by anyone, no exceptions... I cannot tell you” he murmured looking away, as if he didn't want you to hear his answer.

“Dwalin…” you lowered your head with tears in your eyes. “Please,” you almost went down on your knees to beg “tell me where he is. I made a mistake and need to make amends with him.” Since you didn't hear an answer, you kept on trying to persuade him. “I think you realise Thorin and I haven't been… well.” he looked at you. “You worry about him as much as I do, and I'm sure that if we don't solve our problem now, he might lock himself in… wherever he is.” Dwalin looked away, sighing.

And then you remembered; you were the Queen of Erebor. You shouldn't be begging to talk to your husband. So, you spoke as serious as you could “I order you to tell me where he is.”

Dwalin looked up, surprised, concern and repentance invading his eyes. “He's at the blacksmith's.”

You looked at him with a hopeful smile. You whispered a “Thank you” and rushed to the forge.

…

The rhythmic sound of the hammer against the iron and Thorin's growls invaded the place. He still thought about you. It had not been possible for him to take you out of his mind during the night, so he made it his goal stay there, crafting and refining to appease his feelings.

Even before opening the gate, you could hear your husband’s growls, and that worried you. It wasn't a new thing for him to get even with his crafting, but this time, you thought you were the reason of his huge anger.

You opened the gate slowly, almost not wanting him to hear you. But he did, and the sound of the hammer stopped. “Is asked not to be interrupted.” he said with a low, agitated voice. He then turned around, and when he saw you, the hammer fell to the ground with a loud noise.

The place stayed silent. You couldn't watch him, and less could you talk to him. For a moment you thought of running back to your lonely chamber and locking yourself up. What if he was still mad? And what if he didn't want to see you?”

“Amrâlimê” Thorin whispered and slowly approached you.

In that moment, all fear and doubt vanished. You remembered the times he called you that, kissed you and made you remember you were his One. And when you saw him, you remembered how much you loved him and longed for being with him.

When you met his gaze, Thorin quickened his step and came fast in front of you. He took your hands in his and went on his knees, resting his forehead on your wrists while he kissed your knuckles. “Amrâlimê…” he repeated, and you felt his warm breath against your hand. You were frozen. “You are here.”

“Yes, I am.” you whispered without knowing what to say.

“You sound doubtful” Thorin said, insecure, and slowly raised his head, linking your gazes. “Don't you want to be with me?”

“I do, I do. I do want to be with you.” you said quickly. “Is just that… I wasn't expecting this reaction from you.”

“After moons of not seeing you, how else would I react?” he asked, getting up. You could see him close, admiring his bright eyes and paying attention to every one of his handsome features.

“Is just that… I never thought you would want to see me.” you said, lowering your gaze.

“And why would I not want to see you?” he asked, almost confused. “I love you.”

You looked at him raising your eyebrows, outraged. “Allow me to think...” you said looking at the ceiling, crossing your arms. “First you treated me like a traitor, then you did not come looking for me in months, and after that you told Dwalin not to be bothered by anyone, no exceptions…”

“I asked that to Dwalin because I did not see the possibility of you looking for me.” he said, a bit ashamed.

“Why would I not look for you? I love you.”

This time Thorin was the one who raised his eyebrow. “Allow me to think...” he mimicked your corporal actions. “First you told me not to talk to you ever again, then you locked yourself in your chamber for months, and after that you did not come to join me for dinner…”

“I fell asleep before reading your letter.” you explained, laughing. “I am sorry.”

Thorin shook his head, and put your foreheads together. “I am sorry, givashel.”

You both looked at each other, melting in a hug and closing your eyes. Little by little, you were getting closer and closer until you kissed; It was a slow kiss, deep and loving. You both had to talk about Thorin's jealousy and your outbursts, but that kiss told you that you wouldn't be doing it alone; You would work together in the amending of your relationship.

...

#thorin oakenshield #thorin #thorin x reader #thorin x fem!reader #thorin fanfiction #thorin son of thrain #syd-marchs-fanfiction #the hobbit #the hobbit fanfiction

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eyitzme · 6 months ago

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ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ; ˣᵃⁿʳᵉⁱ ⁽ᵈʳᵈᵗ⁾ Summary: Xander Matthews is so nice to Arei Nageishi! It's obvious that he should be since he's her boyfriend, duh, but the way he's this nice to her because he wants to be makes her start thinking about their relationship differently. Word Count: 2,758 A/N: This was inspired by a pin on Pinterest that said, "Why is my boyfriend only nice to me when I'm sleeping? He'll cover me up with a blanket, kiss me on the forehead and sometimes come and cuddle me but when I wake up he calls me a stupid bitch." This was meant to have pre-sleep fluff and end with Arei starting something that makes Xander call her a "stupid bitch," but angst somehow got in when I specifically said that this was supposed to just be trashy fluff. This doesn't even end with the "stupid bitch" comment because the angst makes it look out of place, but we're just going to roll with it. I want to get more motivation to write more Xanrei but don't have it. Maybe posting one shots here will give me it :p

you're so nice...

Arei Nageishi was a wonderful human being! Who could ever say otherwise? Well, maybe Xander Mathews, but he got a free pass. Was it because of favouritism? Obviously! You had to be a special person to get away with calling her insults others called "constructive criticism," and as her boyfriend, Xander was very special.

Arei had a long day today. Going bowling with Ace Markey, annoying J Rosales, hanging out with Xander, annoying J again, studying for an upcoming test with Min Jeung and Eden Tobisa, annoying J for a third time... She was just a very busy person. Xander offered for her to stay at his place for the night, which she, as usual, accepted.

"I'm so tired," Arei said through a yawn as she entered Xander's apartment. She kicked off her shoes and took off her winter coat as she made herself comfortable on his couch. They had been dating for almost a year—longer than the bets Teruko Tawaki and Charles Cuevas made on "when" they would break up—so she could treat his apartment however she wanted. It was basically her home now anyway. She stayed at his place more often than her own. In her defence, it always felt more comfortable here than her apartment. Hers didn't have enough Xander.

As Xander put his winter coat away, he said, "You can get ready for bed. I need to call Whit first."

"Okay then. Goodnight, Xander!" Arei waited until he told her goodnight back before she went to his bedroom.

Xander's apartment had two bedrooms. He lived alone, so the other bedroom was a guest room in case a friend wanted to stay over. When Arei first stayed over almost a year ago, he was ready to prepare the guest room for her when she joked about them sleeping in his bedroom together. Arei received a flustered Xander as a reward, which she enjoyed more than she thought. She wasn't all too aware of her feelings back then, and apparently, neither did he. But, before they knew it, they were dating the next morning. Not like she was complaining.

Unfortunately, he was used to her sleeping in his bedroom with him by now. She wouldn't see him flustered with that anymore, but it was still nice being in his bedroom than the guest room. Like her apartment, the guest room didn't have enough Xander in it. It was always more comfortable surrounded by him—but she would die in a ditch before she said that out loud.

Arei stepped inside Xander's bedroom, closing the door behind her. If she was being honest, his bedroom was her favourite place in the world—her happy place, if anyone ever asked her what it was. Everything was so Xander. From the messy bed to the curtains to the posters, she loved it there. It was the reason she wanted to sleep in his bedroom when she first stayed over. His bedroom looked so safe and comfortable, and it reminded her of him. Even with how he could be stupid and reckless, he knew how to make sure others felt safe. And it always worked.

Arei reached up and let her hair down, blue strands falling over her shoulders. She had some of her own clothes left at his apartment—whether they were by accident or not was something only she would know—but she normally wore Xander's spare clothes to sleep in. She liked to tease him about his clothing style, but they were nice enough to sleep in. He never told her that she couldn't wear them anyway. She knew from the moment she saw how red his ears got when she first wore his clothes that she could wear them whenever she wanted, but she felt something else along with happiness at the realization.

She laid down on the bed with plenty of soft pillows. He bought the pillows a few months after they started dating. While he could sleep wherever if he tried, she needed at least two soft pillows to sleep comfortably. He found that out soon, and so he bought more for whenever she came over. She was surprised that he noticed that, and he was even more surprised at how he casually brushed it off as if it was nothing. Like doing that was just to be expected.

Buying the pillows and letting her wear his clothes showed that he was more considerate that she thought he would be. It wasn't like she had low standards for him; she saw how he cared for their classmates, even if he was reckless at times. She was more surprised at how caring he was specifically to her and her alone. From their relationship prior to dating, she thought he would be a little more hostile. It made her start thinking about how they acted in acted in their relationship, and it stuck with her even now.

Xander hated corrupt people. She listened to him rant about them enough to know that for a fact. She was sure that by his standards, she was one of said corrupt people. How he could stand to date her, she didn't know. How she could stand the niceness he gave her when she was sure she didn't deserve it from him, she also didn't know.

Arei turned on the bed so her back would be facing the door and closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking about it. If she wasn't tired before, she certainly was now. Xander could just do that to her.

. . .

Arei felt a hand on her cheek. She recognized who it was from how the hand felt alone, but she still opened her eyes a crack. She still wanted to see him.

Her eyes found Xander's face almost instantly. Seeing her awake, he quickly said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine..." Arei found her eyes closing again. He always did this whenever she stayed over. He'd cover her with the blanket, kiss her goodnight, and cuddle with her until they both fell asleep. It was always so gentle, and the reminder of it refilled her mind with the two questions she had for months: Why was Xander so kind to her, and why wasn't she as kind back?

Just as she thought, she felt the blanket climb higher up her body. The bed shifted under Xander's weight as he sat next to her. His hands ran through her hair, brushing her bangs aside. She could feel his gaze on her, and she knew that if she opened her eyes, she would see a gentle look in his eyes. It was a dumb look, but she loved knowing someone could look at her like that. Then, she would remember who was looking at her and why he shouldn't, and she found herself hating hey still loving it at the same time. It was so stupid.

He would leave soon for a bit. She knew that was probably coming. Then, he would come back and finish the rest of what he usually did. Just the thought of it made her stomach twist as she wondered what she had done for him. She had to do something if he treated her like this, right? But she couldn't figure out what for the life of her.

It was probably better to ask now than later. She couldn't have this with her during their one-year anniversary, could she? Arei opened her eyes halfway and said, "Hey, Xander...?"

"You're still awake?" he asked, his voice quiet. Why did she have to fall for someone with such a calming voice? Even his British accent she loved to make fun of was working so well with his voice.

"Obviously." Arei's voice didn't sound as snarky as it might've if she had more energy in her. "Just...had a question."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. Why are you so nice to me? It makes no sense..." Again, her voice didn't sound as snarky and it might've. She decided to blame it on her tiredness.

Even in the darkness, she could see a frown form on Xander's face. "What do you mean?"

Of course she had to explain the obvious to him. Why did she had to find that endearing? "Exactly what I said. Why are you so nice to me?"

"Well...you're my girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean you have to be nice."

"Are you...asking me to be mean to you?"

Arei sighed. "Never mind. Forget I said anything..."

"No, don't go to sleep now...!" Xander gently shook her back awake. "Arei, what's wrong?"

Stupid Xander being so caring. Couldn't he just care even just a little less about her? He was just adding fuel to her questions. Idiot!

But Arei still found herself sitting up by herself to prevent sleep from coming. She avoided making eye contact, which was hard with how brightly yellow his eye colour now was. Words starting coming out of her mouth without permission. "Why are you so nice to me? I'm not stupid, you know; I know how I acted before we were dating. I know how I act while we're dating. You've always been...nice and considerate, and it's weird. Why aren't you at least a little mean to me?"

Xander stayed silent as she talked, and he stayed silent after. She didn't like it. Couldn't he just say that she was delusional and move on?

"I'm nice to you for a lot of reasons. I'll give you three right now," he finally said. "First, you're my girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean—"

"Let me finish." His hands went over top of hers, and he started rubbing circles on them with his thumb. "First, you're my girlfriend. Second, I don't like being mean when I don't have to be. Third, everyone deserves kindness—especially you, Arei."

Again, words came out before she could stop them. "Do I? You know how I treat other people—how I treat you. But you still somehow thought that I can be a worthy girlfriend who deserved...this. Why? Why do you even like me in the first place?"

She hated how she sounded. Her words and voice were pathetically needy. So weak and vulnerable. That was not who Arei was at all. Why did she have to talk in the first place? Just pretending to be asleep until he left wouldn't have caused this.

Xander was silent for a moment after she asked that. Eventually, he said, "I...honestly don't know why I like you."

She felt her shoulders sag as her fingers curled into her palm. That was literally the most obvious answer. She didn't know what she expected.

"But that doesn't change the fact that I do," he added. "And because I do, I want to treat you right."

"To prove to everyone that we can have a relationship that lasts more than a few months?"

"And because I want to."

"But also because of that."

"I'm not going to deny it..."

Despite herself, Arei found herself smiling a little.

"Why are you against me being nice to you though?" he asked slowly. "Just do you know, I'm not going to be mean to you just because you want me to be."

"That wasn't even what I wanted—" Arei stopped herself before she said it. She changed it to, "Xander..."

"You can say it," Xander said with a smile. Was she that easy to read?

"If I say it," she replied, "then I'm just proving my point—and that's not what you want."

"It's fine. Just say it."

Well, if she had permission, she might as well say it. "That wasn't even what I wanted, stupid. Do you even listen to anything I say? Why am I even wasting my time on you?"

That came out a lot easier, but almost too easy. It was just what she was used to, and that was a bad sign, wasn't it? He didn't flinch while she said it—he was actually smiling—but she was sure it did something to him. It had to, right?

Xander lifted one of Arei's hands to his lips. Even though their one-year anniversary was coming up, she still felt tingles spread from where his lips touched her skin like how it was when he first did it. When her hand was pulled away, their eyes met. She pulled her other hand free from his grasp to put it under his chin and lift his head and kiss him.

Arei took note of how the kiss was gentle and nice. That was how she would like to be with him all the time. Even with all her pride, she could say that was what he deserved. It was so confusing why someone like him would pick someone like her when there were plenty of other people who were fitter to be his lover than her. Why would he want to be with a corrupt person when he hated them?

She leaned back, reminding herself to keep even breaking the kiss gentle. Kissing him when she knew that his opinion on her was going to change the moment he found out who he was truly dating was too uncomfortable. He wouldn't want to be with her after he found out what she did to her sisters on purpose. Who cared about how they treated her? No one did before. She was definitely a corrupt person in his book, and that meant a breakup would be very soon.

All of their classmates were right about doubting they could last long in a reltionship. They almost made it to a year only because Arei never told anyone her past. But she should tell Xander before their one-year anniversary. He shouldn't have to know that he wasted a whole year with someone like her.

Xander's hand pushed a strand of her blue hair behind her ear, staying on her cheek. He leaned forward and kissed her other cheek before resting his head on her shoulder.

Arei took his hand and held it. Could she ever get used to how trusting he was of her?

To distract herself from her thoughts, she said rather quietly, "You better not fall asleep on me again like last time. You're way too heavy for me."

His voice was just as quiet when he responded. "I'm not that heavy. Besides, you're the Ultimate Bowler. You should have some strength in your arms, right?"

"That doesn't mean I want a whole elephant laying on me, Alexander. It's even worse that this elephant's British."

"Hah. Hah." He made no move to get off her.

Arei didn't actually mind that he didn't. His weight was comforting, almost like a heavy yet warm blanket. She laid down on the bed, Xander shifting on top of her just to make them both more comfortable. His head remained nestled onto her shoulder, and her arms wrapped around him to keep him close.

She listened to his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. Her focus was only on his warm body that encompassed her. This was her boyfriend for a few months short of a year. An actual boyfriend who wanted to cherish her. How did she manage to get this far and not realize that? How stupid was she to not know how lucky she was?

"Hey, Xander?" she whispered, not wanting to break the silence.

He didn't respond. From his steady breathing, she guessed that he fell asleep.

"Goodnight, Xander," she told him quietly. After a second, she added, "I'll try to be a better person for you. Even if I know you'll breakup with me once I tell you about my sisters."

Arei was going to add that Xander was dead to her if she was awake the whole time but was only pretending to be asleep, but she stopped herself. Even if she didn't like being that vulnerable around anyone, it felt more natural to not say anything. It was a baby step in becoming a better person.

Arei was going to follow through with it. If he actually was asleep or forgot about it in the morning, she hoped Xander would notice her changes. He was so kind to her, and it was about time she returned it. Then, he could decide if he wanted to breakup. She was a corrupt person, so there was no judgement on his part if he did. She just wanted him to know that she could truly be a good person.

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splendidreads · 2 years ago

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Open Your Arms, Part 2

Mob!Bucky Barnes x Female OC

Word Count: 3182

Warnings: Mentions of not being treated well, nothing other than that for this chapter.

Summary: ‘Arranged marriages are never easy. This one is no exception. Both sides will have to relearn their ways, and learn to trust each other. Bucky has all the love to give, but Katherine doesn’t know how to accept real love. She’s never been loved by anyone other than her best friend. Will she learn to open her heart, to New Yorks most notorious Mob Boss? Or is she too scared, that he’s just like everyone else?’

A/N; This is my FIRST Bucky story. As well as my first AU story. If this first part does well, I’ll keep on going. I’m incredibly beyond nervous about this. Constructive criticism welcome, but please be nice. Please re-post and comment :)

I do NOT give permission for my work to be copied and posted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. PLEASE just reblog if you want to share my story!!

Will happily start a tag list if anyone is interested!

PART 3 NOW POSTED

“You’ve never been outside of New York?”

Steve’s bewildered question made Katherine shrug her shoulders, as she picked a piece of pepperoni off her pizza, eating it silently.

“Well, if that information is such a shock, I can’t imagine what your reactions will be like..” She ate a piece of sausage this time, “..When I tell you that I can count the number of times I’ve left the city, on one hand.”

Both men’s mouths fell agape, which made her let out a bit of a laugh.

“Are you serious?” Bucky shook his head, not quite believing her.

“Unfortunately.” She nodded her head, confirming it to be true.

Dinner with them had gone really well, and most of her nerves were gone. They had been talking about pretty simple things, just learning about each other. They had essentially been playing 20 questions, and it turned out to be a bit of fun. They now knew each other's favorite colors; Steve’s was blue, Bucky’s was dark green or dark red, and Katherine’s was purple. Both Steve and Bucky enjoyed the outdoors, whereas Katherine had spent most of her life inside.

“Looks like I need to get some miles under your belt.” Bucky said to her, a grin spread across his face.

Katherine’s cheeks tinted a shade of pink, feeling his eyes on her. She definitely felt like there was something between them.. But was it because of the deal, or was it real? She was hesitant to even attempt to explore the idea, barely knowing him. He was very attractive, and seemed really kind. But, she hardly knew him.

“We should go to Alaska again sometime,” Steve said, before finishing his eighth slice of pizza. “Take her out to the cabin for a few days.”

Katherines smile returned, “Alaska? I hear that you can see all of the stars out there, you don’t even need a telescope!”

Both Bucky and Steve let out soft chuckles, “Are you into astronomy?” Bucky asked her, an eyebrow raised.

She nodded her head as she took a sip of her drink, “Oh yes. Quite unfortunate for me though, you can’t see much here in the city.” She shrugged her shoulders, trying to seem not too bothered by that.

Little did she know, Bucky’s mind was already trying to formulate a plan. Even though they weren’t married yet, or even really in a relationship… Yet. Bucky still wanted to take care of her. She was his, and he was hers.

“Did your parents never take you to do things like that?” Steve asked her, and her face fell.

She knew the topic would eventually come up, she had just hoped to avoid it a while longer. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed on his face, noticing the change in her attitude.

“Uhm,” She cleared her throat, “No.. My mom passed away when I was 13. And dad.. He doesn’t really do much.” She had hoped that would be enough, but judging by the looks on their faces.. More questions would follow.

“Is he still gambling?” Bucky asked her, lowering his voice a bit. Steve let out a soft sigh, looking at the pizza. He was already aware of her mother, he paid for the funeral.

“Yep..” Katherine popped her lips with the word, a crisp ‘P’ sound coming from them.

Bucky shifted in his seat, his once happy tone seeming to have changed. It seemed as if gears were turning in his head.

“Katherine,” he looked to her, reaching his metallic hand a bit closer towards her, “I have a feeling that I’ve been lied to.. And that your situation isn’t what it should be.. Is he not treating you well?”

She shifted her eyes away from him, not daring to meet his icy blue orbs. She never knew the exact details of the deal between her father and Bucky, but she was aware enough to know that Bucky had indeed been lied to. The familiar feeling of anxiety began to itch its way towards the surface, her arms instinctively wrapping around her middle. This was it.. This was the moment Bucky would decide he didn’t want her anymore, because she wasn’t what was promised. She had a memory of hearing her dad on the phone with someone.. ‘No. She didn’t make the grades, she’s not going to college.’ Which had been a complete lie. Katherine’s High School transcript showed straight A’s. She wanted to go to college, she had been accepted to 3 different schools. She remembered her father telling her that she had to get a second job, so they wouldn’t lose the house, and that paying for college would’ve been a waste of time. If only she had realized back then, what was truly going on.

Bucky let out a huff of air, leaning back in his seat, contemplating his next words. She didn’t even have to answer him, for him to know that her life wasn’t great. Steve had told him about the small amount of luggage she had, and Annette told him that it was mostly work clothes. For two different jobs. Needless to say, Bucky was upset.

“Hey, Buck?” Steve’s voice sounded, grabbing the attention of both silent parties, “They’re closing up shop. It’s almost nine o’clock..”

Katherine looked around the restaurant, realizing that Steve was correct. The workers had begun cleaning, and setting chairs on top of tables. Which meant the three of them had been there for nearly 4 hours. She couldn’t remember a time where she was actually able to spend that long just talking, and enjoying some company. The anxiety had started to cloud her eyes, her leg bouncing underneath the table. Just then, her phone started buzzing in her pocket. It was Sage, of course. There wasn’t anyone else who would call her.

“You need to take that?” Bucky’s voice snapped her out of her daze.

“Oh,” she chuckled softly, pulling her phone out, “It’s Sage, my best friend.” She raised her phone, showing him Sages face, “She’s not the most patient person..”

“Go ahead. I’ll take care of the check.” He offered a small, tight lipped smile.

She nodded to him, before getting up to leave the table. She gave both men a small, polite smile, before walking out the door of the restaurant. She was still in perfect view of the men, which is probably the only reason why they didn’t follow her. She chuckled, realizing that Sage was video calling her.

“Before you start yelling at me..”

Sage let out a long, dramatic groan, “Okay fine.”

Katherine chuckled softly, pacing up and down the sidewalk next to the car they were using, “You interrupted dinner actually.”

“It’s almost nine!!”

“We went to a pizza place, and got lost in conversation.” Katherine shrugged, her eyes glancing into the building to see that the two men were still seated, “Since when did I ever just… Talk?”

“Like, to a guy? Never. You suck at flirting.” Sage retorted, chuckling.

Katherine shook her head, “No, not like.. Flirting. Just.. Talking. It was really nice actually..” She gently kicked the concrete with the top of her shoe, “We laughed, smiled, had a great evening..”

“But?”

She let out a sigh, “But then we got onto the topic of my father, and now my anxiety is all over the place. I guess you might’ve saved me.”

Sage was silent for a moment. She knew that the conversation was probably very uncomfortable for Katherine.

“Well.. what did he say?”

Katherine hummed softly, “He asked if I was treated well.. Then you called. So, thanks for saving me from that explanation.” She let out a breathless chuckle, not realizing that the men were heading outside.

“He needs to know.” Sage said, shrugging her shoulders.

“He will.. I just.. Don’t think it’s best for the first day.”

Sage let out a breath, “When do you think I might get to meet your future beloved?”

Katherine let out a laugh, before realizing Steve and Bucky were walking towards her. She unconsciously began to chew her lower lip, a tint of pink spreading on her cheeks. “Uhm…”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, a small on his lips as he walked towards her. He glanced at her phone, sliding his hands into his pants pockets. “Is this her?” He asked softly, Katherine nodding in response.

Sage heard the voice, both of her eyebrows quirking upwards. “Is that him??”

Katherine rolled her eyes at the two, deciding to just move the phone to where Sage could see Bucky as well. He raised a hand to wave at her, a cute grin on his face.

“Hiya.”

Sage nodded her head, “Hi yourself, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky looked to Katherine, wondering what they had been talking about, but he knew it wasn’t his place to push it.

“I was asking Katie when she thinks I might get to meet you. I’d like to know the man who will be taking care of my best friend.. You will be taking care of her, right?”

Katherine’s eyes were daggers, staring at Sage through the phone.

Bucky let out a soft chuckle, the sound sending a chill through her body, “Yes of course I will be. And,” he sent Katherine a sweet grin, “Whenever Katherine would like, you are welcome whenever. I can send a car to get you tomorrow if you’d like.”

Katherine’s eyes widened, a grin spreading on her lips, “Really..?”

Bucky nodded, “Well, yeah. I’m not going to keep you from anyone. Like I said, what’s mine is now yours. That applies to you wanting to have guests over.”

Steve opened the door for them, signaling that it was time to go. Bucky placed his hand on the small of Katherine’s back, leading her into the car.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Sagey! I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Katherine hummed, giving her friend a smile as she got into the car, Bucky sliding in after her.

“Sounds good to me! Love you bunches!”

“I love you too.” She returned the words, before ending the call.

“She seems fun.”

Katherine’s eyes looked at Bucky, who seemed to be holding in a laugh. She glanced towards the front, Steve seeming to be doing the same. Soon though, Katherine began to laugh, Steve and Bucky letting out their laughter as well.

“Yeah, yeah.. She’s uhm.. She can be a lot, sometimes.” Katherine grinned, “She just worries about me..” She let out a soft sigh, “Besides dad, she’s really all I have.”

Bucky’s expression softened, hearing her words. He glanced towards Steve, who was focused on driving now. He hesitantly reached for her hand with his flesh one, gently capturing her soft skin. He offered a kind smile.

“You have me now.”

Katherine looked to his eyes, only to find they were already peering into her own. She didn’t flinch away from the contact, finding that even though his hand was a bit rough.. It was also quite warm.

“And me!” Steve shouted to them, making both Bucky and Katherine chuckle.

Her lips curved up into a small smile, nodding her head to Bucky. “You’re right.”

The remainder of the car ride was spent in silence. Bucky’s hand still gently holding onto Katherine’s, both of them lost deep in their thoughts. It wasn’t an awkward silence though, Katherine was actually quite comfortable. Her eyes gazed out the car window as the car came to a stop, the big house towering over them. She noticed, though, a man standing at the base of the steps. It was someone she thought she had recognized.. She was snapped out of her daze, when she realized Bucky’s hand was in front of her, him having opened the door for her.

“Come on.” He smiled, as Katherine took his hand.

“Thank you.” She said, getting up and out of the car.

Bucky gently held her hand, moving her hand to rest on the inside of his arm, as they walked up towards the house. Steve walked up next to them, eyeing the man as they approached.

“Mr. Stark..” Bucky’s voice greeted him, no particular emotion in his voice.

Katherine looked towards the man, curiously, but she could feel Bucky bring her closer to him. She realized who the man was; He was rather famous. At least, in New York. He was a VIP wherever he went.. Geneous, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.

“Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers.” The man had his arms crossed on his chest, an eyebrow quirking up when his eyes laid on Katherine, “And who is this?”

She was about to give him her name, but Bucky’s words were first, “My girl.”

Katherine felt her cheeks heat up, she was sure that everyone else could see it as well. Did he really just introduce her… As his girl? Something about the words made butterflies dance in the pit of her stomach. In reality, it was true.. They hadn’t actually spoken about it, but that was the deal.

“Ah, so it’s true.” Mr. Stark let out a soft huff of air, “When's the wedding? I’ll have to send a gift.”

Katherine tensed under the man’s gaze, instinctively trying to hide in Bucky’s side. Her eyes met Steve’s, and it seemed that he sensed her discomfort. Bucky must have as well, because he removed her hand from his arm, and draped his arm around her shoulders.

“There’s no date yet, I’ll let you know.” Bucky let out a sigh, “What can I do for ya, Tony? We’re just getting back.. You can wait in my office for me.”

His eyes stayed on Katherine for a long moment, before nodding his head towards Bucky, “Business as per usual. I’ll be waiting.”

Steve opened the door, Tony walking in and headed towards Bucky’s office. Steve followed him, as if he always did. Bucky walked with Katherine, his arm still around her as he led her up to her bedroom. They stopped at her door, Bucky letting out a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry, Katherine. I had hoped to be able to spend more time with you tonight.. But duty calls.”

Katherine offered him a small smile, “It’s alright.. Thank you for dinner. I had a really great time tonight.”

Bucky’s lips curved into a grin, “Me too, doll.”

“Will I see you before the end of the night?” She asked, actually a bit hopeful that he might say yes.

His arm fell from around her, his hand raising to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, their eyes locked on each other. He kept his grin, “Of course. Let’s just hope this meeting doesn’t last forever.. Tony talks a lot.”

Katherine chuckled a bit, “Well, you have fun with that.”

They both laughed softly, not seeming to really want to leave. Katherine let out a soft sigh, turning to open her bedroom door. Bucky started to walk off, but found himself looking back at her, a smile on his lips. Katherine returned the smile, before going into her room.

The rest of her night was pretty.. Calm. She had unpacked her clothes, which took up almost no space in her closet. She video called Sage for a bit, before deciding to take a shower. She stood under the hot beams of water for a while, just relaxing. Her mind wouldn’t stop though.. Her thoughts were completely consumed by Bucky. She tried her best to not think about the rumors and stories she’d heard about him, forming her own opinion. He had been nothing but kind to her, and she genuinely enjoyed his presence. His smile made her weak at the knees, and his laugh was contagious. She never thought that it would be this easy to like the man she was promised to. Though, she was sure that this might just be a fluke, only being the first day. As she got out of the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror. She sighed softly as she brushed her teeth, and went through the usual nightly routine. She decided that pajamas were calling for her, as well as her bed.. She looked at the time on her phone. Bucky had been in the meeting for almost three hours. She let out a breath, as she pulled her oversized t-shirt on. Just as she sat on her bed, she received a text.

��Something else had come up, during the meeting.. I’m afraid I might not make it up to see you, before you go to bed. Don’t wait up, I’ll see you in the morning.’

Katherine read the words, and actually felt.. A bit sad that she wouldn’t see him. Regardless, he was a busy man. She didn’t even know what all he did, being the head of the mob. She replied to his text pretty directly.

‘It’s alright, I understand. I’m going to read for a while, before I actually go to bed.’

She pulled up a book on her phone, going to where she last left off. Her eyes were soon glued to the words, as she snuggled into the bed. Which was the most comfortable bed she’d ever felt. Soon, her mind was completely divulged into the fantasy world she read about. She almost stopped thinking about him, but of course her mind decided to play tricks.

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, having read a few chapters of her book. But the sound of her bedroom door opening, stirred her a bit. She rolled over in the bed, attempting to pull apart her heavy eyelids.

“Shh, doll. It’s just me..”

Bucky.

She could hear him moving around her room, and felt that he touched the bed. He had taken her phone, putting it on the phone charger and setting it on the nightstand. Katherine managed to get her eyes open, a small smile spreading across her lips.

“Hi..” her voice was soft, very obviously sleepy.

A low rumble of a chuckle passed his lips, as he leaned over the bed. He tucked some hair behind her ear, like before. She could feel his breath on her face, and her drowsy mind wanted her to pull him closer.

“Bucky…” She hummed out his name, leaning her head into his hand.

“I’m just checking on you.. Get some sleep, alright? We’ll have breakfast in the morning, and can talk then.” His voice was quiet, soft and velvety smooth.

She hummed in response, slowly nodding her head towards him. She wanted to be wide awake. She wanted to stay up with him, talking, seeing that smile.. But she was already so tired, and laid comfortably in her bed. She managed to keep her eyes open long enough, to see that he was looking at her.

In a sleepy daze, her voice sounded out to him, “My girl?” She asked him, though not really having intended to do so.

He smiled at her, nodding his head, “Gotta make sure the world knows it. Can’t have anyone trying to come in and sweep you away from me..”

Those were the last words she heard, before she settled back into the bed, falling asleep.

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #james buchanan bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky #au bucky barnes #female oc #bucky barnes x female #bucky fic #marvel bucky barnes #bucky barnes story #mob boss bucky barnes #mob bucky au #SplendidReads Open Your Heart

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samoankpoper21 · 1 year ago

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You're Beautiful

A/N Just for reference when I say a "big girl" I mean someone who doesn't necessarily fit society's beauty standards. I'm using my own weight (275 lbs) and height (5', 3") as reference '^^ anyway hope y'all enjoy and I accept constructive criticism. I'm trying to be a good smut writer :P

"Did you see the commander's girlfriend?"

"Does he not have eyes?"

"How can he date someone who looks like that?" You were standing there hiding when you happened to stumble upon the group of cadets conversation. You silently sighed as you knew most people were scratching their heads at the odd pairing: you were a "big girl" and he was this gorgeous, 6', 2', charismatic commander who somehow took a liking to you. "I mean honestly," said the first girl cadet, "From what I hear, the commander is just being nice to her and she took it as them dating." You silently gasped. Come to think of it he hasn't explicitly asked you to be his. His actions proved otherwise but you needed verbal confirmation. Maybe I should just go back . As you were about to turn away Armin, the short blonde cadet, noticed you. "Y/N! Are you here to see Commander?" you peered over at the group of girl cadets whose faces paled at the realization that you heard everything. Luckily for you you possess a really good resting bitch face. "I uh-"

"Here I'll take you to him since I'm on my way there."

"I uh, ok." you reluctantly agreed. As you walked past the group, you tightly clutched the pies, strudels, and lunch you have prepared for your "boyfriend". Two short knocks announced your arrival. "Come in." His velvety voice made your heart ache more. "Commander!" Armin saluted. Erwin glanced around him noticing you and smiled. It was such a warm smile that it took everything in you to hold back the tears threatening to spill over, the bubbling in your chest growing bigger. The conversation between the two was short and muffled. As Armin left, Erwin stood up to greet you. Before he could get to you you sputtered, "Stop right there." Erwin tilted his head to the side clearly confused. "Erwin, I can't do this anymore. We can't be together." you shoved the basket to his chest and ran out, the tears slowly tumbling down your face.

Hours later you heard a banging on your door not realizing that you had literally cried yourself to sleep, chuckling at the ironic situation. You opened the door and was surprised to see Erwin standing there. "Erwin-" you were cut off as he stormed past you. He stood in the middle of your small room, hands on his waist, trying to slow down his breathing. You stood there awkwardly stealing glances at this beautiful man whose tall stature overpowered your room. He inhaled deeply, turned to you, and gently grabbed your arms holding you at a distance. "I thought we agreed that if something was bothering us we would talk it out like adults. Y/N what's wrong?" you peered down trying not to cry. "Talk to me." Erwin pleaded.

"You deserve someone better."

"What?! Why would you say that?" A beat of silence passed and you finally found the courage to look him in the eyes. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"What are you-"

"Do you even like me? I mean you treat me as if we're dating but you haven't even outright said it. Even your cadets question the validity of this...whatever this thing is!" by now you were trembling and Erwin was mentally facepalming himself. Levi did tell him that he should've made clear his intentions for you once his feelings for you grew. Erwin figured that his actions would allow for all the transparency that you needed but he was wrong. "You deserve someone who fits you physically. I'm...too fat for you." At this last remark Erwin was seething. He thought you were beautiful regardless of your size. Your smile and eyes always made him feel warm and at home. He wanted, no needed, to show you just how much you mean to him and how much he liked you. "Y/N, I'm sorry. You're right. I should've been more transparent with you. I just assumed that you would realize I had feelings for you with my actions." He reached up and gently wiped the tears coming from your eyes; slowly bending down and kissing the tears. You gasped as you watched him through your tears kissing your cheeks, nose, forehead, and finally your mouth. You melted into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck, tiptoeing to get more of him. Erwin picked you up without breaking the kiss, carrying you into your bedroom, gently laying you down. "Erwin-"

"Shh. Y/N you mean the world to me," he grabbed your hand and began to kiss each one of your fingers gingerly, tenderly. "I want, no need you to be mine. You are my love regardless of the fact that I haven't outright told you until now. Be mine."

"I will." you breathlessly replied. With that, Erwin bent down kissing you passionately, pushing the dress above your head leaving you exposed. You were about to cover yourself but he grabbed your wrists with one of his hands. "Don't. Let me admire your beauty." You blushed at the sight of Erwin panting with his hair down, his deep blue eyes taking in the length of you. He kissed you again, traveling to your neck leaving a mark, down to your collarbone biting down gently leaving another mark. "You," he dragged his lips down the middle of your breasts. He looked up at you watching as he took in one your breasts. "Ah!" He continued sucking and licking leaving your nipple with a pop. He kissed the valley of your breasts again. "Are." He traveled to your other breast watching your eyes flutter close, your hands rubbing his hair. He kissed and licked your belly. "So." He traveled further down pushing your legs apart. He started from your ankles, kissing both, slowly dragging his lips upwards to your thighs. Each spot he kissed and licked felt like a trail of fire. He licked his way to your inner right thigh, nipping and leaving a mark. "Beautiful," he whispered and did the same to your left inner thigh. "So beautiful." Your hands were tangled in his gold locks. He flattened out his tongue and licked a strip from your slit to your clit. "Ooh! Erwin!" His tongue slowly circled your clit, his intense blue eyes meeting your half hooded lids, watching your reaction to his touch. He slowly moved downward, each time moaning, humming, and mouthing beautiful into your pussy. He parted your lips and began to tongue fuck you while his thumb was rubbing circles on your clit. "Ah!" your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation Erwin was giving you. You were going insane. Without interruption, he slid two of his thick fingers into you causing you to gasp and peer down; his mouth going between your folds and clit all while maintaining eye contact with you. "Mm! Erwin!" your hips slowly began to rock trying to ease the tension that was building in your stomach, Erwin's fingers gliding in and out of you at an ungodly pace, mouth on your breasts. The squelching sound of how wet you were and Erwin's fingers fucking you were taking you to your limit, you needed this release bad. Erwin sensing that you were about to cum curled his fingers upwards. "Ooh yes right there! Please don't stop!" He bent down and started rubbing your clit rapidly with his tongue. "Ah!" you screamed as your release hit you, your eyes shutting as you felt your legs trying to close, your knuckles white at the hard grasp you had on Erwin's hair.

As you caught your breath you opened your eyes to see Erwin stripping down freeing his member that was restricted from those damn white pants that was part of his uniform. You licked your lips and as you were about to roll over to return the favor he gently stopped you and said, "Not tonight Y/N. Tonight it's all about you. Let me show you just how beautiful you are to me." You blushed at the sediment however that moment was short lived. He climbed in between your legs, pulling you towards him, grabbing his cock rubbing it up and down your folds. "Ah Erwin, please don't tease me." He swiftly plunged inside of you causing you to gasp, his eyebrows knitting together. He slowly pulled out and slammed back into you. "Ah!" His pace was slow, methodical, he wanted you to feel every inch of him. Each time he would reenter he would go deeper, harder. "Y/N, you're so beautiful," he grabbed one of your hands and placed a kiss on your palm, the eye contact between you making this moment sensual, intimate. You tried looking away but he gently grabbed your face. "Look at me while I'm fucking you." you bit your lips, maintaining his gaze; those icy blue eyes of his were going to be the death of you. He slowly picked up the pace adding, "I don't give a damn about how big you are. You're mine and I love you for you. So I don't ever want to hear you say that I deserve someone prettier or skinnier because I deserve you." If it weren't for the compromising position you both were in you were absolutely sure you would've teared up by now. He grabbed your legs and threw them atop his shoulders, giving him more access to you, with this angle allowing him to fuck you deeper into oblivion. "Ah! Mmm!"

"Come on Y/N. Don't hold back. I want you to tell everyone who's fucking you right now." He grabbed your hips and slammed into you. "Ah! Erwin!" He repeated that action knowing that he would get that reaction he wanted. "Fuuuuuck Erwin!" Hearing his name tumbling from your mouth spurred him to go harder. He held your hips in place and kept slamming into you, your back arching, hips rising trying to meet his pace; you were grasping for something to hold onto, all while looking at Erwin's hair down, sweat falling down his face, his eyebrows furrowed even deeper - a rare sight that only you had access to. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Erwin," your head was thrashing about when he demanded, "Y/N look at me. I want to see your pretty face when you cum." Again it took some effort to hold his gaze but as soon as your eyes locked with his you were thanking your lucky stars. You watched as his pecs and biceps tightened, his abs tightening as well, the sweat drenching both yours and his body. If ever there was a statue that you wanted carved it would be this moment right here because this man is breathtaking. His hands reached out and began to play with your nipples, taking in the image of your breasts bouncing up and down as he was fucking you. "Fuck Erwin, I'm," he bent down and began kissing your neck, finding that sweet spot and bit down. "Ah! I'm cumming! Fuuuuck Erwin I'm cumming!" he kept licking and biting, his thrusts becoming sporadic. "Y/N!" with just your name, he released strings of his warm load into you, kissing your cheeks and lips, murmuring how beautiful you were into your shoulder, ear, and head.

Propped up by his right elbow, he watched as you slept, his hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Gawd he loved this woman. He bent down to kiss you and whispered, "I love you." before engulfing you into his arms, you snuggling deeper into his chest. He kissed your forehead and before dozing off he promised himself to always make you feel beautiful and to be transparent not only with his actions but with his words; but first he would have to find out who those cadets were that made you feel less than.

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hyperfigations · 1 year ago

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A Nightingale's Song: A Nice And Not-So-Accurate Season 3

Summary:

“How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.

Prologue: The angels fall and Aziraphale makes a new friend on the Eastern Gate.

Word Count: 2,382

TW: None! I don't think! Let me know if there is though!

Author's Note: Hello! First fic in a year or so! So I am VERYYY rusty 😭 I apologize for that! And first Good Omens fic I've ever written! I'm pretty excited! I hope you like it!!

Also Disclaimer: This fic is just for entertainment purposes! I'm not really trying to predict Season 3 or anything, this is all just for fun!!!

Please enjoy! And if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know! I always aim to write better! Thank you!!

God had once said the days leading to the Sin of Eden had all been nice.

But God lied.

The day the angels had fallen was indeed not nice. Though many were ready for this two-day war to be over, the end was not what they had in mind. It was a sour, bitter victory. They had watched their Lord cast out their once dear friends from their home, the very home they had helped build. The crowds of angels who were just battling their brothers and sisters now stared blankly down from Heaven through the parted clouds. Grief and horror had not existed before that moment, but it was written all over their faces.

God was never thought of as being cruel, at least not in those first few days of the world being made. But it was hard to think of Her as anything else as She made a point to let all those who were left see the Fall. It was like She wanted them to know the cost of disobedience.

The sight of all those who opposed Her dropping from the sky was… well, it was terrifying. If there were humans on Earth -which at this point in time, there weren’t- they would look up at the sky and see one of the most beautiful meteor showers they had ever laid eyes on. But there weren't any people on Earth. Not yet. And what the angels saw was anything but beautiful. They did look like stars falling from the dark blanket of a sky, the last of their grace being stripped away by gravity as it pulled them downward. The soft glow of their holy light was now replaced with a raging fire that outlined their bodies.

The Fall felt slow. Agonizing. Many tried to fly back upward, begging for their Creator to help them like a crying child reaching toward their mother. But God hadn’t even flinched. She watched Her creations tumble downward with no remorse. Their white wings set ablaze with just a blink of Her eyes and from the heavens, they could hear them screaming.

The Fallen’s descent from their old home was broken by boiling pools of sulfur. Thousands of disobedient angels splashed into these pools, and the heat did not comfort their already burning bodies.

They were all sobbing, screaming out to God. God was listening, but She didn’t answer.

The Fallen climbed their way out of the thick liquid, not looking quite the same as they were. Their once clear skin was now riddled with scales or warts or anything deemed unholy. They had features that looked quite similar to the animal prototypes that were still in beta back in Heaven, and the love they had once felt from God Herself was gone. They were left feeling unloved, unholy, and ugly.

They wanted to go back home.

But one Fallen Angel, a little more determined than the others to crawl out of boiling black sulfur pits, made his way to the edge of the bubbling pool. He forced himself up and out, his dark auburn curls matted down with black-like tar. His robes were now darkened, his wings still ablaze. His soft eyes were now sharp and yellow and filled with malice. They were burning and wet, not just from tears but from the chemicals that forced its way through his lids. He didn’t know if he was staring at his maker. But he did know She was listening. He could feel Her listening to all of their suffering. That in itself made him more livid.

“Why,” he screamed to Her. And all the angels who stayed above could hear him clearly over the cries of the damned. One angel was more interested in listening than the others. The fluffy-haired cherub stepped forward to get a better view of the ripped-open earth below where the Fallen had landed.

“You’re punishing us? And for what? You made us like this! You gave us the freedom to ask questions! To choose! Why punish us for how you made us?! Why should we pay for your mistake?!”

The one angel in the crowd cringed, as he looked down through the clouds. It was dawn now and the sun, the very sun that was made by that particular fallen angel, was shining against the Fallen. And the exiled angels were far easier to see now. The fallen angel, glaring at God, had in fact been the angel he saw create gorgeous star systems and beautiful nebulas. He never did catch his name… Not that it matters now. But even so, his heart hurt for him. The cherub whose name is Aziraphale, admired how passionate he had been while cranking up the engine to start the universe. Oh, how his eyes shined brightly, almost mimicking the stars he had just created. But that angel questioned God… He denied Her plan. Even now, he was still asking questions. The very same kind of questions that had led him to be punished. So why did Aziraphale feel so bad for him?

To Aziraphale’s horror, he found himself wondering the same thing. She created them. She gifted them with freedom of choice, but when some angels exercised that freedom, they were punished. What was the point of giving someone the right to choose if they can’t choose? the angel found himself pondering, but then his eyes met with the being that was God, and his thoughts were replaced with terror. She was all-knowing. She could probably hear every single doubt that crossed his mind. He didn’t want to fall… Falling was horrible… It wasn’t too long ago when angels would look to God and feel a warm comfort. She was supposed to be a beacon of hope. But She was radiating anything but. It was clear from the authority on Her face now that She wanted to be feared. And She was feared.

Angels were terrified to even speak, lest they say something that would displease Her. Nobody - not even the mightiest of archangels- dared to speak up.

They all stared at Her in silence… A deep, tense silence.

God decided She was quite finished with the Fallen. She had made her point loud and clear to her children. With the wave of Her hand, God closed the clouds so no one could see the Fallen any longer. The screams had ceased. Well, the screams continued but they just couldn't be heard by the angels anymore. Her head turned to look at all Her remaining soldiers and smiled a sickening, sweet grin. She glanced at the angel who stood next to Her, and he nodded. His white wings spread wide, his voice carrying across what was once a battlefield, “We've already wasted too much time, don't you all think? Let’s get back to work.”

With that, God left them to do Her work. The Metatron, the mouthpiece of God, reminded the angels that She wouldn’t punish them if She hadn’t cared. That she loved all of them dearly. But the word love didn’t feel right. How was what they saw love? But Aziraphale shook his head, eager to be rid of the doubt that began to riddle his mind.

Who were they to question God?

Even if it was clear that Her love was one of her many lies.

♡♡

Aziraphale didn’t feel like he earned his promotion, but when the Supreme Archangel tells you that you’re no longer a cherub but a principality, then you don’t argue. You just nod, and ask what to do next. The past few days had been busy since then. He had been put in charge of God's special little place on Earth that they had settled on calling the Garden of Eden. He was to look after it, protect it from the Fallen Angels, who (according to the Metatron) were to be called demons now. Aziraphale didn't get why, to be honest. Why would the Fallen Angels… or "demons" want to hurt what they helped create. Then again, nothing made sense anymore. Everyone in Heaven used to be so sure of themselves; of their work. But nowadays, since the end of the Great Battle, everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells. As if any minute mistake would cause any of them to join their estranged peers down in Hell.

Aziraphale stood on the Eastern Gate, mindlessly playing with the flaming sword that was given to him. He was told to use said sword if anyone threatened Eden, but if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would ever use it. Not even on a demon. Even with the stories that Michael was telling the Cherubs about them, how evil they were. No, we wouldn’t dare… even so, he still held onto the sword dutifully, as if he would use it. He turned from the gigantic, beige dunes outside of the walls to look at the luscious, green beauty of God’s newest creation. Eden at the moment, was bountiful with hard-working angels, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, which was going to be a big day, so they were told. Word upstairs was that God was ready to let loose Her newest invention: humans. This day was the day that all angels have been waiting for since God Herself presented the plan she had for Earth.

His face brightened slightly at the sight of some angels tending to the plants in the garden, laughing amongst themselves as they worked. For the first time in a few days, they seemed relaxed. Like they were Before.

It was nice.

A low hissing noise sounded near his feet. The principality let out an involuntary yelp, jumping back. His white wings spread above as if to make him seem bigger than whatever had startled him. His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened as he looked down at the end of his white robes only to see a long line of black and red scales. The angel’s eyes narrowed as he stepped forward to take a closer look. He was a bit surprised to see the black and red line staring straight back up at him, with gleaming yellow eyes. Aziraphale had seen prototypes back in Heaven of a creature like this, though at the moment the name of such a beast slipped his mind. He glanced down at the group of angels to see if they had heard him, but thank the Lord, they did not. How embarrassing would that be? To be frightened so easily by a creation of God? Aziraphale’s face flushed red, letting out a flustered giggle.

“Oh dear,” He said. “You gave me quite the scare.”He bent down, the bottom of his wings laying gently on the warm, gray stone of the wall behind him. He beamed bashfully at the beast, who was still watching him curiously. “What are you doing up here?” He asked, inquisitively. “I do rather think you’re supposed to be down in the garden with the other animals.” Aziraphale watched the beast as if it was supposed to answer him. “I suppose you’re just being curious. I don’t blame you, truthfully.” The angel stood up straight just to sit down on the edge of the wall, watching the others work once again, his legs dangling over the edge. The beast didn’t move, he still just watched the guardian. It almost carried a nervous energy to it and turned its attention to the flaming sword in his hand. Realization dawns upon the angel's face and without hesitation, he set the sword on his side away from the creature. "Oh no, don't worry, my dear," he whispered sweetly. "You're safe here." Aziraphale's face grew brighter as the beast slithered its way up next to him. It kept its golden eyes fixed on him, cautiously. "I bet all you creatures are very confused with what's going on down there," He told it. "Tomorrow is a big day. A happy one at that! Everything we've worked on… fought for will all be clear tomorrow." The beast gave him a look of doubt. Aziraphale could feel it wash over him, "Well… at least I hope it will be clear." He glanced at it, his lips creasing down on his face but quickly shook it off. "No, no. It will be. God has a plan, and we angels have the easy part. We just follow it." For the first time since it had got here, the beast stared away from the angel and out into the garden. It was thinking. "Well then," Aziraphale sighed, startling the beast out of its thoughts. It let out a small hiss, moving away from the angel as he scrambled up to his feet, snatching up the flaming sword on his way up. Aziraphale didn't pay any mind to the creature, it was obviously just afraid, and though he didn't understand why, he knew better than to pry into its business. Not that he could actually talk to it anyway. The other animals weren't up to conversation, and he assumed that this one wasn't any different. This one was different however in the way it did seem to respond. Maybe not in words but he could feel that it understood him. He'd never come across such a clever creature. "I should return to my duties before Archangel Gabriel catches me lounging around. You see, he doesn’t take kind to being lazy on the job. You should get back with the other animals, my dear." The beast glanced his way and then back at the garden, almost looking a bit hesitant to go in. Aziraphale waved his hands dismissively, "Not that I don't enjoy your company. Because I do! But I'm sure the angels down there will notice you gone, and everything must be in tip-top condition for tomorrow. So off you go!" The beast's forked tongue tested the air before it slipped its way down the stone and into Eden. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate grinned proudly to himself as if to say ‘Good job me! Making sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible!’ He now was ready (if not far more ready than before) to continue his duty of making sure no pesky demons make their way into the garden.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #good omens fanfiction #crowley x aziraphale #crowley good omens #aziraphale good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #ineffable idiots #ineffable partners #fake season 3 because I don't wanna wait for one #i am so impatient #fanfiction #A Nightingale's Song #A Nice and Not-So-Accurate Season 3

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onlyjaeyun · 10 months ago

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zadie love!!!! 💗💫 i know u said to not apologize for sending in late asks but i can’t help it im sorry🥲 i’ve been so busy on my girls trip this past weekend, and i got home super late last night so i’ve been exhausted trying to fix my sleep schedule yet again while also unpacking from my recent trips BUT while i was in new york i still made sure i got to read ur updates before bed!! i thought it would be better to send in a longer ask once i got home and had more time to type it out🫶🏻🫶🏻

ONTO THE RECENT CHAPS: i looooveeedd taro & yn’s convo like they really are just two besties with absolutely no filter and i enjoyed that chap sm😭 also taro basically calling out yn saying she can’t finish bc sunghoon isn’t the one fucking her is so real like our girl needs to accept and realize it soon😓 AND HOON BEING SO OPEN ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK HER AGAIN WAS NOTTT ON MY 2024 BINGO CARD BC I WOULD THINK HE HAS TOO MUCH PRIDE TO OPENLY ADMIT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. then again he’s still a dick for saying that he wants to fuck her but still doesn’t care about her…you’re writing CH!sunghoon so well like he genuinely makes my blood boil at times. i’m glad yn is getting laid tho but she needs to be fucked good soon and i’m sensing a smut chap w/ hoon in the near future??👀👀

i saw the recent asks some anon sent in saying CH is getting boring and i truly want to know where their thought process is at bc it’s literally getting better with each chapter!!!! some people are so rude, like i get constructive criticism, but that just wasn’t it. the way you’re writing this smau is everything and more zadie, don’t let those weirdos get to you!!!! i know it’s easier said than done but remember there’s more people who love your works (me being one of them), than people who are just bored and have nothing else better to do with their days. IM AN ONLYJAEYUN DEFENDER TILL THE END‼️‼️ you’re doing amazing baby, keep your head up💓💓

wanted to share w/ you a little bit about my girls trip to nyc too!! it was my friend’s 23rd birthday so our whole friend group surprised her w/ a weekend trip to new york as a bday present!! OMG a funny story that happened on our first night there, we all went to this club to celebrate and these group of guys kept being so pushy and gross towards me and my friends. one of them insisted on buying me a drink but he just made me so uncomfy that i didn’t want to even be near him. i tried to decline nicely but he was so persistent. what was funny was that he saw my lockscreen and it was a pic of jongseong in the gym and he immediately backed off bc he thought it was my bf so thank you jay bc he was able to get me out of that situation😭😭

i got carried away with writing this ask so i hope you enjoy this novel i wrote you LOL🤭🤞🏻💞 i hope you’re doing well my baby!! i missed chatting w/ you🥹🫶🏻 ilysm 🤍🧸🎀 !!

- 💌

MY ANGEL BABY IS BACK YALL WAKE UP!!!!🤭🤭🤭💗

bless your sweet soul, the fact you made time to read CH during your busy ass girls' trip means so much to me baby, i love and appreciate you with my whole heart 🥺💗

STOP YOULL ACTUALLY MAKE ME CRY NOT THE DEFENDER PART 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much baby, ngl the comment did hurt a little but i know most of you guys are loving it as much as i do and with amazing feedback from amazing people like you snd many more i would never let those get to me to that certain point again 🥺 i love you sm

OMG NOT THE JONGIE BOYFIE PIC SAVING YOU!!!!! he really is THAT boyfriend im afraid 🤭 im sorry you had to deal with m*n like that baby and am glad you're ssfe and having fun, you deserve it so much!🥺

sending you the biggest kiss and i really hope you can get a little rest soon bc nestie you've been booked and busy but we love to see it!!!!!💗

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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stfuviolet1 · 9 months ago

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If there’s one lesson I could list out of any other lessons I learnt for the past one year; is to stop seeking validation. All my life (as far as I remember) I was seeking validation and tbh, it’s whack. I’m starting to admit that I, no matter how many times I told myself that I don’t give a fuck, somewhere somewhere inside my heart, I still care. A people pleaser? Perhaps.

But that would be the last year Fey. This year Fey? Boy she prolly still gives a fuck. In fact there’s too many fucks to be given. The question is, who’s worthy of her fucks? Yeap I’m so selective with who I choose to indulge myself with now. Ever since I’m determined to pick myself up from the rock bottom about a year ago, I didn’t look back. It’s the promise I made to myself. To never ever put myself in a position where I was a couple of months ago. Ever. Guess it’s right, you gotta hit rock bottom to rise from the ashes again. Picked myself up each day, slowly building my strength and confidence back, accepting all parts of me when I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror. Being kinder to myself starting last year is no doubt the most noble thing I’ve done to myself. I suck at something or fuck things up? It’s okay lesson learned let’s try again. It’s not the end of the world. I got sick? Poor baby girl let’s make you some hot soup and get you hot patches and nice hot chocolate while binge watching our favorite show. The way I’m treating myself right now is literally is the way how I would treat my inner child. I got you Fey, I got you.

So after all these roller coasters journey (yeh ngl life still sucks at times but honestly it ain’t life if you ain’t tripping) it’s safe to say I stop seeking for validation be it from family, friends or even a partner or a guy duh. To hell to anyone who thinks otherwise of me cause I know exactly who I am, I know exactly what I want and I know exactly who I want to be. But don’t get me wrong tho, I still welcome compliments as much as I welcome constructive criticism. There’s à different from being a high value person and a jerk.

Anyways coming back to the point, I probably don’t care as much as what people think of me as long as I’m doing fine. BUT,, something funny happened today. Or rather, sweet? Weird? Fishy?

A 5 year old boy… ok let’s just put his name here. HAMZAH. Yes you hear it right, hamzah, my one and only IGCSE student for reception level just called me ‘pretty’ earlier today!!! Like wtf,, ok I’ve been getting compliments from little kids multiple of times before but coming from hamzah? Again, HAMZAH? boy for a second I thought I was dreaming when I heard that but yo, I got receipts. I was recording him and the rest of the students who joined our experiment today. I’d show it but nvm, it’s for my safekeeping only.

So I greeted everyone with good morning and as everyone else replied back he at the end of his sentence said “GOOD MORNING TEACHER NURUL CANTIK” at this point I had to play cool but gosh my heart drops lmao. 6 months and counting being his teacher all I can see is he’s very selective, egoistic, sensitive, bossy, reserved, hot headed (sounds so much like me) I rarely hear him compliments anything other that his superficial characters/toys etc but when he said that to me, it calms my heart knowing he actually could be as expressive(?) the way he appreciates beauty is what I found heart warming. I mean for a 5 year old, what do they know much about adjectives? But I guess it’s nice to know that all this while, I have been seen as a good looking woman. At least to his eyes. It means the world to me. It’s enough to put a smile on my face and lasted the whole day.

Sounds so much like seeking validation? Maybe. But he IS an exception.

#290124

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unoriginalmess · 3 years ago

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A Second Mask: Chapter 4

Did that just happen?

Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:

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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!

He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.

When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.

The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.

•••

Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.

It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.

Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.

•••

Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.

She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)

She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.

"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.

"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.

When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.

(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)

"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"

At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."

She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."

"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.

"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.

Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"

Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"

On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?

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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.

I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.

As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Taglist

@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu

#a second mask #feralnette #feralnette au #felinette #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #adrien agreste #felix culpa #marinette dupain cheng #here it finally is #idk why some of the tags arent working

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owl232 · 3 years ago

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Bakugo Katsuki Hybrid Au Short

Pt One.

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A/n: This is my first short on here. I hope you all enjoy :) I accept constructive criticism or tips for later posts, and suggestions.

Female reader insert

Slow burnish?

—

Bakugo was a feisty wolf-dog mix. He’s been through many homes, just to end up back in the shelter. Owners always complained of him being aggressive and ruining things no matter what they did trying to train him.

You were just a lonely person who wanted to find a good friend to share your home with. You had a large back yard and a spare bedroom and plenty of money to spare on someone other than yourself.

You felt nervous entering the shelter. You’d never had a hybrid before and didn’t know anyone personally who had one, but your friends said it was a good idea if you really wanted one. Owning a hybrid seemed kind of odd to you. After all, they were pretty much like humans, just with some different traits. You’ve heard stories about how bad they get treated and came to the conclusion that you wanted to share your home with one and give them the proper care they deserve.

You were lead around by an employee who took you to where the hybrids were. Entering the room was a bit overwhelming with all the noise of hybrids. You felt your stomach drop seeing the small cages the hybrids were put in. They didn’t even seem like there was enough room for them to comfortably sit, let alone stand.

After looking around for a while and still not have chosen one, you felt as though you were being too picky with your choices, but to be fair, you didn’t really feel connected to any of the hybrids.

You started thinking about how you should stop being so stubborn and just choose one. None of them seemed to be even a remotely bad choice anyways. Most were friendly while others just kept to themselves. But then you saw him.

His blonde hair sticking up every which way, his face in a hard glare and his ears flat against his head.

Just how he presented himself caught your attention. Aggressive and defensive. Unlike any of the other hybrids in this place.

Walking over to him, he kept his eyes trained on you the whole time, his lip twitching, a quiet growl working it’s way from his throat. Looking at the name tag on the cage, it read Bakugo Katsuki.

A small smile formed on your face, you scanned around looking for an employee and then nice spotting one, you waved them over.

“Uh are you sure you want this one? He’s known to be a bit…Aggressive.” The worker whispered to you, earning a growl from the blonde male.

Your smile falters slightly, but quickly went back. “Yes, I’d love to.”

After filling out some paperwork, it was finally time to head home with your new companion. Bakugo had a leash on and it was being held by a man who was standing as far away from him as he could, acting as if he had a disease.

Thanking the workers, you take the leash and smile at Bakugo, who still has a scowl on his face. “Let’s go home!” You say and turn, walking out of the building and to your car, making sure that the boy was following so you don’t pull on the leash by accident.

The drive home was mostly quiet, besides you trying to friendly chat with the hybrid. You had explained to Bakugo all about his new home and where he would be sleeping, along with any other information you thought could be useful for him to know. The whole time he just kept looking out the window not speaking a single word.

Arriving home, you shut off the car and walk up to the house. Bakugo seemed to be on edge the whole time, just silently following. Once you’ve both entered, you turned to him with a smile.

“Well, this is our home. I know it might not be the best, but it definitely has enough room for you to have your own space and do what you want.” You unclip his collar, having to stand on your tip toes to reach, and set it on the coffee table.

“Don’t call it ‘our home’ it’s not like I’m going to be here long anyways.” Bakugo grunts, crossing his arms across his chest, staring at the wall.

“What makes you say that? Do you….not want to live here?” You say worriedly. You hoped that he would like you and your home. Perhaps he didn’t. “Is there something wrong?”

“Don’t play dumb. Go do whatever it is your humans do. I don’t want to talk to you.” He says and leaves, going off to find his room.

You frown and just stand there, watching him stomp away. Maybe he just needs some time alone? This is a new place for him after all, maybe it’s overwhelming.

You just hoped he would warm up to you soon enough.

#mha x y/n #boku no hero #class 1a #bnha #mha #bakugou katsuki #Bakugo #bakugo katsuki #hybrid #hybrid au #mha hybrid au #bnha hybrid au #mha au #my hero academia #bakugo x you #bakugo x self insert #bakugo x y/n

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cah0mie · 4 years ago

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Since the Brothers are assholes (yes, Beel included since he wanted to eat you and didn’t care for your presence at first) when you first meet them, how about they deal with an MC that’s not gonna deal with their bullshit and isn’t phased by their threats? I hate it when otome games have you deal with jerks in the beginning but the choice bubbles are too nice whenever they insult the player.

Yeah, Yeah; They’re the top 7 demons of hell who don’t have to respect a human and are able to kill me with no effort but I don’t give a damn about that. You can’t drop me in hell with 7 assholes without my consent and expect me to be fine with it. I’m more than fine with calling em out and if they try and threaten MC, they would flat out say “At least I’ll die calling you out 🌚”

I like the way you think my guy. I couldn't agree more

To all my MCs that were much Harsher in the Beginning

-----

Mammon: Now listen here human! I was put in charge of you! In other words you have to do exactly as I say-!

MC: Shut the hell up... *Rubs temples* You're so loud.

Mammon: Wha- Who do you thi-!!

MC: Look dude. I don't really give a fuck who you are or what you could do. You really think I like the situation anymore than you do? I didn't fucking ask for an invitation, nobody even gave me a warning. So suck it up, and shut up. Cause we can't do shit now.

Mammon: I could eat you WHOLE right now!

MC: Be my guest. It'd be better then having to deal with this horse shit.

Mammon: .... What kind of human are you?

-one week later-

Levi: It seems like you're trying to suck up to me so I'll like you. It's no use denying it, I heard it straight from Lucifer.

MC: Oh nooooo, I'm caught. Whatever shall I do?

Levi: You're lucky to have so much free time too think up schemes like this. As much as I'd like to sit and watch a TSL marathon, I can't. There's so many animes I need to watch, trading cards to organize, figurines-

MC: Back the fuck up.

Levi: Eh?

MC: You're telling me you can't do what you want, cause you NEED to watch all these other shows and other shit? Bullcrap! These things are not necessities!! You can go on living without this shit! Do what the fuck you want! If you want to complain, do it in your head! Cause you have no one to blame but yourself.

Levi: You're actually treating ME like this!? You Normies, always rubbing it in that-

MC: And here you are, acting like a child. Do you ever take responsibility for your own actions? Always saying how unfair things are. News Flash! Life isn't fucking fair!

Levi: I could-!!

MC: Eat me? Smite me? Make me feel things I wish I didn't? Fucking go for it dude, I'm so fucking over it.

Levi: ...... Forget this, I have better things to do....

-a day or so later-

Lucifer: You should focus on surviving this year here, finishing the exchange program and going back to the human world. "Curiosity killed the cat". Curiosity can very literally get you killed here as well.

MC: Hey Lucifer, has it ever occurred to you that just maybe.... I DON'T CARE.

Lucifer: You're telling me that you don't value your life?

MC: No, I'm just telling you that I haven't been here long and I'm already over the whole, "I am above you" thing. You yourself, aren't willing to put a scratch on me since you're a fucking lapdog to his majesty.

Lucifer: You rotten-!!

MC: Save it dude, ya ain't gonna do shit. Hell, ya don't even know what my life may have been like before y'all kidnapped me. For all you know, this is everyday life for me.

Lucifer: .....What would you do if a lower level demon ever got their hands on you?

MC: Number one, you wouldn't let that shit happen in the first place. Number two, I'd just fucking let it happen. They probably have a better out for me than you guys.

Lucifer: ..... You petty and ungrateful creature.

MC: *shrugs* Truth hurts doesn't bitch?

-a week later-

Beel: You ate my creme puff, it had my name on it!

MC: You destroyed my wall and injured me. I think we're pretty even.

Beel: No we're not! Give it back!

MC: ...... If you're THAT fucking determined wait a few hours it'll come back.

Beel: That's disgusting.

MC: You kept fucking pushing it. Your own damn fault. Look, I'm an ass for eating you food, but you really are overreacting this is ridiculous.

Beel: It was my food!!

MC: ..... We're just going in circles at this point....

-a week later-

MC: Yo, fucklust! Ya mind not standing in front of the camera every fucking time!?

Asmo: But wouldn't you rather have a picture of something beautiful?

MC: I would. All the more reason for you to get the fuck out of my way!

Asmo: ... Are you saying, I'm not beautiful? Are you actually insulting ME?

MC: 'Oh how dare you! You hurt my feelings and called me out on shit! I shall kill you now!' If that's not petty, I don't know what is..

Asmo: .... You're not very nice.

MC: Like any of you have room to talk

-two days later-

Satan: Are you actually rejecting ME!? You!? A mere human!?

MC: Oh, cut the shit!! Satan! Why the flying FUCK would I make a pact with you! I'm making pacts to gain Lucifer's respect, NOT PISS HIM OFF MORE!!

Satan: Does it look like a I care!? I said to do it!

MC: And I said to fuck off! I'm not going through with this Satan!

Satan: I will cut of your nose and ears. Rip off your arms and legs. And feed you to a lower level demon!!

MC: Fucking go for it dude, I don't give a damn anymore. You lot are impossible to talk sense to, and this here proves it.

Satan: Don't you dare trifle with me!

MC: Y'all are just toddlers who cry when things don't go your way!

-when mc goes back in time-

Belphie: Aaww.. You don't know want a hug? Shame, I was hoping to share my happiness with you..

MC: Yeah, I'm sure you did

Belphie: What does that mean?

MC: I mean, you never did plan on walking out of this together, did you? You had always planned on taking me out and walking away yourself.

Belphie: ...... If you'd known that, why did you help me?

MC: Number one, THIS *gestures to door* was an ACCIDENT. Number two, I may or may not have made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it. Number three, Beel misses you so much. How can I not? So let's just walk away from this together and join the rest of the-!

Belphie: *starts choking the life out of them*

MC: Or just kill me, get it over with, and I won't have to bother with any of you anymore.

Belphie: With pleasure.

-When MC encounters Belphie once again in the time loop-

Belphie: How can a human have such a strong will to live.

MC: Because I am determined to tell each and every one of you how fucking stupid you all are.

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This is a lot longer than I intended it to be. I'm sorry I still don't know how to place the keep reading button (or whatever it is). I had quite a bit of fun writing this, I hope you have just as much fun reading it 😁

I accept all forms of constructive criticism, so if you see anything you feel could be better let me know.

#obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me shenanigans #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x y/n #obey me x mc #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x you

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splendidreads · 2 years ago

Text

Open Your Arms, Part 3

Mob!Bucky Barnes × Female OC

Word Count: 4692

Warnings: some mildly foul language, threats, protective Bucky is a warning in itself.

Summary: 'Arranged marriages are never easy. This one is no exception. Both sides will have to relearn their ways, and learn to trust each other. Bucky has all the love to give, but Katherine doesn't know how to accept real love. She's never been loved by anyone other than her best friend. Will she learn to open her heart, to New Yorks most notorious Mob Boss? Or is she too scared, that he's just like everyone else?'

A/N; This is my FIRST Bucky story. As well as my first AU story. If this first part does well, l'll keep on going. I'm incredibly beyond nervous about this. ALSO; things will pick up in the next chapter!! DONT WORRY!!

Constructive criticism welcome, but please be nice.

Please re-post and comment:)

I do NOT give permission for my work to be copied and posted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. PLEASE just reblog if you want to share my story!!

TAGLIST: @wintasssoldier

Part 4 Here

SONG: Finesse by Bruno Mars & Cardi B

Katherine had slept pretty well that night, in her new big bed. She had actually slept into the morning, for the first time in years. Her bed was surely a mess, and she probably had the worst bed head of her life. But for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt rested.

A soft humming sound started in her throat, as she rolled over in the bed, hearing her phone buzz against the nightstand. She stretched her arm out, blindly smacking her hand around before she finally felt her phone. One of her eyes slowly peeled itself open, just enough to look at her phone.

10 text messages, and 2 missed calls.

It was then that she finally looked at the time, both of her eyes snapping open. It was nearly eleven in the morning, far longer than she’d ever slept in before.

“Shit!”

She fell out of the bed with a loud plop, scurrying to get to the bathroom and start her day. As she turned the shower on, she went through her text messages.

Sage 7:46am ‘GOOD MORNING! Let me take Skadi out for a walk, then let me know when someone will come get me!’

Sage 8:03 ‘Skadi tried to drag me into the lake.’

Sage 8:30 ‘KATIE ARE YOU UP?’

Bucky 8:32 ‘Good morning, Katherine. I came to check on you, but you were so peacefully sound asleep.. I thought I’d just let you rest. I have meetings starting at 9, and hopefully will have a lunch break around noon. I hope you sleep well, and I’ll see you later (:’

Sage 9:10 ‘I’m ready whenever you are’

Sage 9:30 ‘…are you alive?’

Sage 9:47 ‘Did something happen..?’

9:52 Missed phone call, Sage

Sage 10:03 ‘I’m stopping by your house, or I guess your old house, grabbing a couple of things. Your dad isn’t here..’

10:13 Missed phone call, Sage

Sage 10:15 ‘Did I possibly steal someone’s phone number, because you left the letter on your desk? Yes, yes I did.’

Bucky 10:25 ‘Sage texted me. Steve’s about to head over to get her.. I know you said she worries a lot, but she seems pretty antsy to not hear from you. I told her that you were asleep, and she didn’t seem to believe me..?’

Katherine let out a long huff of air as she began brushing her teeth, reading all of the text messages. Her eyes rolled, reading the ones from Sage. But when she saw the texts from Bucky, she smiled. She hummed softly, her fingers tapping away on the glass screen.

‘Everything’s fine, I promise!! Would you believe me if I said that I slept in?’

‘Good morning! I’m so sorry, I don’t ever sleep in like this. Thank you for being so kind! Don’t worry about Sage, it’s just very uncharacteristic of me, lol’

She sent the first text to Sage and the second to Bucky, as she moved around the bathroom, prepping to get into the shower. Just as she was about to step into the shower, Sage texted her back.

‘…What?’

‘I was preparing myself to fight a mob, just so you know..’

‘Also.. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT STEVE WAS HOT!’

A rumble of a laugh passed Katherine’s lips, shaking her head as she quickly texted her back.

‘Lol I’m getting into the shower see you soon.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katherine decided to try and leave her hair down for the day, realizing she hasn’t had that opportunity in such a long time. Her hair was always in a slick bun, or a braid for work. It had been long enough that she was a bit surprised to see that the strands reached right above her rear. She had a hard time getting herself ready, her eyes glued to the body she saw in the mirror.. Noticing every detail that she despised about herself. She wasn’t a petite woman, that was for sure. Her hips were wide, thighs jiggling as she moved. Her tummy had a bit of a pooch, sticking out over her jeans, enough for her to grab between her fingers to fiddle with. Stretch marks across her hips and abdomen, even her thighs and breasts, from frequent weight changes. She would at least give herself credit for having nice curves.

A sharp rap of knocks at her bedroom door snapped her out of the daze.

“Hold on!” Her voice echoed through the bathroom, her bare feet padding across the tile as she pulled a shirt over her head.

“My hands are full or I would just come in anyways!” Sages voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Her hands were full?

Katherine pulled the door open, a confused look on her face as not only Sage but Steve as well both walked into her room with a few boxes and shopping bags. She continued with her confused expression, a hand on her hip as she watched them set everything in the TV area.

“So, I know that you’re not a very materialistic person,” Sage started, opening a few boxes, “But I also know.. That was never really a choice.”

Katherine walked towards them, peering into the boxes, “Okay…”

“I may have let it slip, that you’re a bit of an artist..” Sage shot her an innocent look, “I grabbed everything from my place that you had, and Bucky sent Steve and I out to get you new art supplies.”

Katherine’s eyes shot up, looking between the two blondes. She was silent for a moment, not sure what she wanted to say. Steve let out a soft sigh, a smile on his lips as he helped Sage take everything out from the bags

“He had already fully intended on taking you shopping.. But after talking to Sage,” His eyes went to her, a smile on his lips, “We all agreed you could use the surprise.”

Katherine stood there, dumbfounded. It wasn’t unlike Sage to try and take care of her, that wasn’t anything new. But the fact that it was Bucky, as well as Steve.. She watched as the two began taking things out, her eyes looking at all of the things.

“I also got a few things for you to decorate your room with.” Sage spoke, looking around the room. “This is the perfect spot!”

Sage stood up with a handful of rectangular frames in her hands. She walked over towards the television, and began placing them on the wall, trying to figure out the best spot for them. Katherine watched her for a moment, trying to look at the photos.. She could practically feel her heart swell, realizing what the pictures were. One was of Katherine and Sage, around the time they met. They were both so young.. Another was the two of them, a bit older, with a huge mess of paint. They both had big grins plastered on their faces, though she knew that after that moment they cleaned it all up. Next was a photo of them from their High School graduation..

“I thought you could use a few personal touches.”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a sweet smile, “Thank you.. Both.” She turned her smile to Steve, who just simply nodded his head, returning the smile.

Sage hummed softly, as she stuck the photos to the wall, satisfied with her arrangement. She then went back to all of the things on the table, and began to move some stuff around. Soon, all three of them were going around the room, decorating. Sage had suggested putting music on, and Katherine didn’t argue. The girls were dancing around the room, having a great time.. Katherine didn’t even notice that Steve had been gone for about fifteen minutes.

“Ooh, don't we look good together?

There's a reason why they watch all night long..

Yeah, know we'll turn heads forever..

So tonight I'm gonna show you off!”

Sages voice sang the words happily, both girls laughing as they danced around. Katherine smiled, walking into her closet to hang up the last of her clothes.. There wasn’t much, but it was at least a little better now. Sage had brought the clothes that Katherine left at her house, wanting her to have better options. Katherine had gone deep into her walk in closet, the music flooding her ears, and didn’t have any idea that Steve was back.. And that there was someone else in the room as well.

“You must be him.” Sage smiled, putting her hand out, “It’s good to officially meet you.”

Bucky offered her a kind smile, shaking her hand, “You too.” He glanced around the room, raising an eyebrow, “It looks nice. Thank you for doing this..” He seemed like he had more to say.

Sage hummed softly, “No problem. I’m just thankful that you’re not a big meanie,” She chuckled a bit, before lowering her voice, “She would kill me for saying anything… But I feel like it’s my job.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed on his face, listening intently. He could hear Katherine in the closet, humming along to the music. He wondered if she liked to sing.. But he was also very curious to know what Sage was about to tell him.

“I know way more about what you do, than she does.” Sage crossed her arms on her chest, looking directly to Bucky’s eyes, “She has no idea.. The reality of what she’s about to put herself in.”

Bucky nodded his head slowly, though his eyes narrowed a bit, “And just how do you think you know?”

Sage chuckled softly, proving his gaze ineffective, “Deputy Chief Alexandria Chambers.”

Bucky’s gaze softened, hearing the name. He looked to Steve, who simply nodded his head as if he already knew the information that was being revealed. He was confused.. How did she know her?

“She was my mother.”

Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat, “She was one of the best, that’s for damn sure.. I was very sorry to hear about her passing.”

Sage nodded her head slowly, “Thank you. She was always fair.. And I know that she was on your side of things. Well, you and your mob family.”

Bucky wasn’t exactly sure where this conversation was going, but he continued nonetheless, “I’m assuming that uhm..” He cleared his throat, “She made sure her daughter was well aware of the world she lived in.”

Sage nodded her head, “She was very thorough about it.” She seemed like she was about to say more, though a smile crept its was back onto her face when they could all hear Katherine’s voice.

“When I'm walkin' with you..

I watch the whole room change..

Baby, that's what you do..”

Katherine had absolutely no idea about the conversation that was taking place, as she hung up her clothes. If anyone had been paying close attention, they might have noticed the sweet smile that tugged on the corners of Bucky’s mouth. ‘She sounds wonderful..’

“Listen,” Sage looked to Bucky’s eyes, a serious expression on her face, “I just don’t want Katie to get caught in the crossfire of your world.” She let out a huff of air, “She deserves the best.. Even if she doesn’t think so herself.”

“No, my baby, don't play..

Blame it on my confidence..

Oh, blame it on your measurements..”

Steve walked over, grabbing the now empty bags. He was listening to Sage speak to Bucky, and he knew where she was going with her words.. Sage had told Steve quite a bit when they went shopping. She was quite the protective friend.. And for good reason. He glanced at Bucky, their eyes meeting for a moment. Bucky’s eyes shifted back towards Sage, and they watched each other for a moment, listening to Katherine sing. He put his hands on his hips, as the two of them shared a bit of a staring contest. Until Sages words broke the moment of silence between them.

“I will do anything for her.. Anything.” Sages eyes squinted, “I’m not trying to get on your bad side or anything.. I just want to make sure what your intentions are with her.”

Bucky watched Sage for another moment, and was starting to understand why she was interrogating him. “My intentions are what they’ve always been.. I intend on marrying Katherine someday.”

“But do you intend on loving her?” Sages words were sharp, and quite clear.

Bucky thought about those words, his eyes looking around the room. It’s not like he was heartless.. But love was never really on the table for him. Love was dangerous. It could be used against him.. Who would ever truly love a man like him anyways?

Sage shook her head, her eyes looking over the photos on the wall, “She deserves to be loved.. Taken care of.. And cherished.” Her lips curved downwards, “She hasn’t gotten much of that. Her mom died too soon, and her dad just became even more of a piece of shit.. Yet somehow, she’s still a ray of sunshine in this shitty world.. and I don’t want anything to diminish that.”

Steve cleared his throat, taking a few steps closer to them, “I can tell you that she’ll be well taken care of here, Sage.” He offered her a kind smile, before glancing at Bucky, “Even though everyone thinks that Buck is some scary monster.. A hard ass, who has no heart.. There’s a big ole teddy bear under that facade.. And I have a feeling that Katherine’s going to find him.”

Bucky glared at Steve, for saying such mushy words.. But, he could potentially be right.

Sage returned Steve’s smile, “I hope you’re right.. But I still want to know what Bucky’s thoughts are.”

Bucky took in a sharp breath, looking down at his shoes for a moment, trying to think over his words, “Steve’s right. Everyone does see me that way, and they’re not exactly wrong.” His eyes flicked up to Sage, “But I know how to be a gentle man, Sage. I would’ve never made a deal to marry someone, if I didn’t think I could… Be a decent husband.” He let out a soft breath, “I promise you that my intentions with Katherine are genuine. I will take care of her, and maybe we will grow to love each other.”

Sages lips curved up into a wide grin, and she brought her hands together, clapping them. “Well, alright then. Then I have a job for you.”

Both men’s facial expressions changed to one’s of confusion, looking between each other before turning their attention back to Sage.

“Katherine needs to change. She needs to learn that she deserves love.. And I want you to help me do that.”

Before Bucky could respond, the music suddenly stopped.

“Hey Steve, I was wondering if you-“

Katherine had come out of the closet, holding a clothing rod in both of her hands. Her eyes widened slightly, seeing that Bucky was standing there.. Her lips curved up into a sweet smile, their eyes locking. She felt her breath hitch in her throat, admiring his steel blue eyes.

“Hi.” Her voice came out soft, the grin on her face not faltering.

“Hey.” Bucky responded, his lips curving up to return the grin, “Uh, what happened?” He asked, pointing to the rod in her hands.

Katherine looked at it, then chuckled, “Fun fact, if you’re too short to reach something, just ask for help. Or you’ll end up taking down all of the clothes you just hung up.” Everyone in the room began chuckling, though Katherine’s cheeks tinted a light pink shade.

“I’m assuming you were about to ask for my help?” Steve finally asked, still chuckling a bit.

“Yeeaahhh..” Katherine chuckled softly, “It can wait until later..” She hummed for a moment, before looking between the three of them, “So.. What ‘cha guys up to?”

“Oh, I was just interrogating your new boyfriend, of course.” Sage grinned, sending Bucky a knowing look.

Katherine’s blush deepened, “Sage!” She scolded her, “We literally just met yesterday!”

Bucky’s lips turned up into a smirk, “Yeah, and I’m already introducing you to people as my girl.”

Sage raised an eyebrow, Steve tried to stifle a laugh. Katherine’s face was red as a beat, and thank god she didn’t have to come up with anything to say.. Because Annette knocked on the door, her warm smile peering into the room.

“Lunch is ready!” She announced, before motioning for everyone to follow her.

Bucky chuckled, sliding his hands into his pockets. His eyes watched as Sage grabbed Katherine’s hand, leading her out of the room. How cute. He couldn’t help the thought, seeing how she reacted to his words. Steve followed behind the girls, and Bucky went right behind him.

———

The next week went.. Well? Bucky had been pretty busy with a bunch of meetings, and Katherine found herself feeling pretty lonely. Sage had gotten stuck working overtime at the hospital, so Katherine didn’t really have anyone to talk to. She did, however, find herself in the kitchen a lot. Annette showed her where everything was, and was delighted to find out that Katherine was a quick learner. Baking, cooking, you name it. Annette started showing her everything that she knew.

“You know, I think Mr. Barnes has a soft spot for brownies..” Annette said, smiling as Katherine took them out of the pan.

“Really?” Katherine’s eyes looked at her, “You think.. You think it’d be okay if I took some up to him?”

Annette nodded, “If the door is closed, just make sure that you knock. But yes, I think he’d be pleasantly surprised.”

Katherine slowly nodded her head, and decided to grab a plate. She put four brownies on it, not knowing who else might be in his study with him.

“I’m going to finish up the laundry, then I’m done for the weekend!” Annette said, as she came around to the side of Katherine, taking a brownie.

“Alright, thank you for your help. Let’s hope that he likes them!”

Katherine took the plate in her hands, and started to make her way through the house. She was a bit nervous about going to Bucky’s study. She hadn't been in there since her first day here, and he’s been so busy lately.. Maybe brownies might be a nice offering. They hadn’t spent hardly any time together, shy of quick ‘Good morning’s before he had meetings. As she walked down the hall to the study, she found that the door was open. Perfect! She hummed softly, deciding to just walk in.

“Hey Bucky, I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.. But I made-“ Her words were cut short by the stares of five men.

Bucky stood at his desk, towering over scattered papers and files, a frustrated expression on his face. Steve stood next to him, the same kind of frustration.. There were three other men gathered in the room, none of which Katherine had met before. As soon as she had stepped into the room, all the men’s eyes snapped up to look at her. It startled her enough to make her stop dead in her tracks. She gripped the plate tightly, her eyes shifting between each man, finally landing on those icy blue orbs.

“Brownies..” Her last word finally came out, her voice much quieter than it started.

Her eyes glanced at all of the papers on the table, and they widened a bit when she realized what they were. Crime Scene Photos. As soon as she had that realization, the photos were all scooped up back into a Manila folder.

“Who the hell are you? Snoopy little bitch..” One of the men voiced, his words sharp. Italian. “Who said you could barge in here?”

Bucky’s head snapped towards him, and as he opened his mouth to speak, Katherine’s voice was first.

“Excuse me? I live here. If I feel like bringing my man some brownies, I’m quite sure I can do just that. And, the door was open.” Her words came out much stronger than she expected, so she kept that strength and walked further into the room. “Learn some manners, bitch.” She walked around to the side of the desk that Bucky was on, and he greeted her with what seemed like a proud smirk.

“You are quite correct, doll.” He hummed, her words feeding his ego a bit. My man. His eyes looked towards the man who voiced against Katherine, “You’re lucky you still have your tongue. Katherine is right, you should learn some manners.. That’s no way to speak to a woman, especially mine.”

Katherine felt a chill run through her, Bucky’s flesh hand resting on the small of her back. She gave him a warm smile, silently thanking him for his words.

The man in question scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Whatever. She just marched in here like she owns the place.”

This time, Bucky’s metal hand reached out. He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, pulling him to be halfway across the desk. Katherine let out a soft gasp, though Bucky’s flesh hand stayed gently on her back. Steve stepped around Bucky, putting Katherine between the two of them.

“Her name might not be on the title yet, but this is her home. And no one will speak to my girl like that. Next time, there will be no warning. Capiche?” Bucky’s voice was loud, commanding.. And it startled Katherine a bit.

The man’s eyes widened, his hand grabbing onto Bucky’s metal one, and he just nodded his head. Bucky finally let go of him, not until his eyes seemed to peer straight into his soul. The man stood up straight, fixing his shirt. Bucky’s gaze softened, turning towards Katherine once more.

“You made brownies?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. His voice was much softer towards Katherine.

She cleared her throat, nodding her head as she held the plate up, “I only brought four.. I wasn’t sure who all was in here..”

Bucky took one, giving her a grin, “Good thing there’s only four of us. Amato, you can leave.” He didn’t even look over to the man as he dismissed him.

The man grumbled something in another language, which Katherine assumed was Italian, before storming out of the room. The other two men looked between each other, before turning to look at Katherine with small smiles.

“Katherine,” Bucky hummed, “These are two of my best men. Clint Barton, and Bruce Banner. Bruce is the head of our science division, and Clint is head of the security team.”

Steve took a brownie as well, “It’s nice to meet you both.” Katherine smiled, extending the plate over the table.

“Likewise.” Clint said, nodding his head as he took a brownie. Bruce took the last one, giving her a nod with a smile.

Katherine watched as all four men began to eat the brownies. She hadn’t even tried one yet, so she wasn’t even sure if they were good or not. Though, based on their silence, and that they continued eating them..

“These are so good, Katherine.” Steve grinned, plopping the last bit of the brownie into his mouth.

“They really are.. Reminds me of my moms.” Clint said, a soft chuckle on his lips as he ate.

Bruce smiled, “Did you make these, or did Annette?”

Katherine couldn’t help but laugh at them, “Annette supervised, and I made them. Found an old recipe we wanted to try.”

Her eyes went up to Bucky’s face, still awaiting a reaction from him. His eyes were closed, as he slowly ate the brownie. A soft hum came from him, as he finished the brownie, his eyes opening to find hers looking at him.

“Delicious.”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a big smile, “I’m glad you guys liked them. I’m starting to really get into baking, maybe I can bring some stuff up for you guys every so often.”

Bucky smiled at her, his hand still on her back, “I think that’s a really nice idea.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, Clint moving to collect all of the papers on Bucky’s desk. Katherine glanced at them, curious about what they were.. And why that man was so rude to her.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted something important.. The door was open, so I-“ Katherine’s words were cut short by Bucky raising his metal hand as if telling her ‘stop’.

“The door was open. You did nothing wrong, doll. Amato needs to learn his place, and keep his trap shut.” Bucky’s fingers on her back slowly began to caress her, sending another chill up her body.

Katherine nodded her head, though it didn’t exactly make her feel better.

“I think it was a shock to him though, hearing you talk to him like that.” Clint said, giving her a grin, “You’ll need that sharp tongue, being in this world.. Especially being Bucks girl.”

Katherine returned the grin, “Anyone who dares to calls me a bitch, will get this sharp tongue. I don’t care who they are. I’ve dealt with a life of assholes, I’m not doing it anymore.”

All four of the men began chuckling, Steve patting Katherine on the shoulder.

“No one will ever treat you badly, doll. If they do, they’ll have to answer for it.” Bucky said, the other men nodding their heads.

Katherine’s eyes looked up to Bucky’s, searching.. All she could see was a strong, kind man. He wasn’t as scary as people made him out to be. He had only been kind to her.. She almost couldn’t believe that there was blood on his hands. She gave him a small smile, nodding her head.

“Alright boys. Now that this is taken care of..” Bucky motioned towards the folders, “I’m done for the weekend. I’ve been putting a few things off, trying to get this done.” His eyes glanced back down to Katherine.

Steve chuckled softly, nodding his head. Bruce nodded his head, “It was nice to meet you Katherine, thanks for the brownie.”

Clint smiled, “Yeah, it was nice to have a snack.”

“Of course.” Katherine smiled to them, watching as all three men walked out of the room, closing the door behind them.

“So…” Bucky cleared his throat.

Katherine raised an eyebrow, turning her body in his hand to face him, “So?”

He let out a soft breath, “I’m sorry that I haven’t spent any time with you, Katherine. Business has just..” he shook his head, “It can be very time consuming at times.”

Katherine shook her head, gently resting her hand on the arm that was still around her, “Don’t. I understand, you’re a very busy man.”

He smiled, lifting the hand from her back to gently caress her cheek with a finger. Katherine’s lips parted ever so slightly, her breath getting caught in her throat.

“Well.. I intend on spending the weekend with you.” He hummed softly, “I’d like to take you to dinner tonight.”

“Is it.. A date?” She asked, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

He chuckled softly, “As long as you want it to be..”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a happy smile, “Well, we’ve got to start somewhere, yeah? I think a date is just what we need.. You need to solidify the fact that you call me your girl.” Her words were meant as obvious teasing.

“Oh? Well, you did come into my study, and call me your man.” His lips quirked into a handsome smirk, “I think we’re on the same page, don’t you?”

“Hmm.. I suppose we’ll see, depending on how well our date goes. Maybe we’ll get somewhere.” Her expression changed to match his.

“Maybe.. I’ll steal our first kiss tonight.” His words were soft, barely above a whisper.

Katherine’s cheeks darkened, “O-Oh yeah?”

“Only if you want me to, of course..” His fingers cupped her face gently, “I don’t want to force you into anything, doll.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” Her voice was soft, her eyes peering deeply into his.

“I hope not.. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day we met.”

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #james buchanan bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes #au bucky barnes #bucky barnes story #bucky barnes x female #mob boss bucky barnes #female oc #mob!bucky #SplendidReads Open Your Heart

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euphoriic-dysphoria · 3 years ago

Text

Blue hair - Bucky Barnes

Firs time posting something like this on Tumblr, I welcome constructive criticism, anything to make my writing better and easier to read. As long as you're not an ass about it.

Summary: you've wanted to dye your hair for sometime now, but you're too scared to do it all by yourself and it seems like a whole big thing now that you keep kinda wanna do with a friend. Yes I'm projecting😅😅

THERE MIGHT BE A PART TWO, NOT REALLY SURE YET.

Warnings ⚠️ : none, just extreme flustered bucky, whipped bucky, fluff ig yeah. Without further ado,

Bucky was falling for you. Hard. He fell more each and everyday, but somehow, you were either not into him at all, or painfully oblivious.

He said painfully, because everytime you expressed even the slightest discomfort, even if on the Quinjet you just couldn't fall asleep, bucky just had this inexplicable urge to suddenly bring you all the pillows in the world to make you happy and laugh and smile your beautiful smile.

Bucky wasn't stupid. He'd seen how smart you were on missions, and how fast you'd solved riddles to annoy Tony. You would never be oblivious to things like this. He'd long ago accepted that he was just gonna be a friend to you, of course that didn't stop him from daydreaming about you, or freezing up everytime you brushed your arm with his.

After all, some might assume what with bucky falling head over heels for you (literally, but that's a story for another time, including Sam and being at the beach) that you guys were probably best friends or at least pretty close. Nope. Bucky was embarrassed to say that you stole away all his old fashioned Brooklyn charm the minute you were in a 2 meter radius. He was so nervous he stumbled over his words and opted to just stay quiet and enjoy your presence.

Of course, you thought that bucky was just naturally shy, and well- akward. It never occurred to you that you were the cause of that shyness, but you didn't mind. You found it endearing and utterly adorable the way a pale pink would wash over his features, and brush across his nose.

Today, he was utterly relaxed, pink free, in his room in the Avengers tower, reading and trying to get the thought of you out of his mind. That was hard when abruptly a hard knock sounded at his door, and he was just about to turn around and ignore it, when he heard you mumbling and thinking outside. Supersoldierhearing

Closing his book, he straightened up and furrowed his brow, thinking as to why you'd be outside his room. He hoped everything was alright.

"buckkyyyyyyyy! Woa-hiya, how are YOU on this verrrry fine morning?" You stumbled into his room, bucky was so deep into his thoughts he wasn't aware he opened the door so suddenly, you almost fell in.

A whirlwind of chaotic energy, you recovered quickly and jumped about, before turning back to where bucky was frozen at his door.

You were only wearing a T shirt.

Now, it was 7 in the morning, and most of the avengers were well aware that you walked around in a t-shirt in the mornings, well, only Steve and Nat cause they were the only ones that woke up then. Normally, bucky wakes up earlier to do his run, and so by the time you wake up, he's showered and reading in his room.

Shaking his head a bit to uh, clear up his thoughts, he quietly trudged back to his bed, where you were sitting and excitedly bouncing up and down on.

You gave him a good morning half hug, as you were practically buzzing with energy.

Oh. That alone was more that enough to make Bucky's cheeks start to glow a dusty pink.

However, you were already setting up the boxes of hair dye on his night stand.

"ok. Alright buck, are you ready for maybe the most important decision of your lifetime?? Ahem-" Buckys eyes widened as you did a little drumroll, jiggling your thighs and bringing up your shirt a bit, but you were too absorbed in the boxes you didn't even notice.

In your best announcer voice, you looked at him and grinned. "Blue, or red?" Holding up each colour respectively.

Huh? Bucky was so focused on your smile he practically missed what you said, which would've been hella embarrassing.

"uh- I'm not- where is this coming from?" Bucky almost winced at his voice, coming out hoarse and deep.

With an angelic smile on your face a devil would fall for, you patiently explained the hair dye situation. You wanted to dye your hair. Check. You already bought the hair dye. Check. And last but not least, now you were waiting on one of your friends to reply to you about dying their hair too. This wasn't a demanding act, for you only hit up the people you knew also had wanted to dye their hair too.

"i-i uh whyreyaaskingme?" Oh god. Before Bucky had anytime to mentally smAcK himself for mumbling like that, you were already replying.

With a soft smile you said, "well of course I'm asking you buck, I don't think it's very nice to knock on people's doors at 7 in the morning unless they're awake, and Nat and Steve left together to get coffee. Plus, I trust your opinion, I'm sure you have an excellent sense of style." You teased, reminding him of the time he refused to wear a ridiculous suit that Tony had jokingly, not really, designed.

Buck sighed quietly, as you made your way to the bathroom to compare the colours. Ouch. It was never a nice feeling to know you had come to him out of necessity. Little did he know, you had earlier rushed Nat and Steve straight outta here, in attempts to build a closer bond with bucky. Those two just shared a smug little knowing look, before hightailing it right out of the tower.

Lost in his thoughts, bucky didn't realize you had stopped muttering to yourself about the hair colours.

It was quiet. Too quiet. In the bathroom, there was absolutely no sound.

Bucky frowned, making his way over, and knocked on the door.

"can-uh do you mind if I come in?" Bucky knocked.

The door creaked open, and Bucky peeked inside to find your dejected expression and little pouty lips as you sat on the edge of the sink counter, scrolling through your phone.

"hey- wh-whats wrong doll?" Aw jeez. Cut it out, he said firmly in his head. Stop stuttering, just talk to her like a normal person.

"you- wanna tell me why you're looking like a sad puppy down over here?" Bucky's breath hitches as he's in the middle of berating himself for comparing you to a puppy, when you finally look up and meet his eyes, droplets threatening to leak and break past your waterline.

Bucky's heart just about cracks at the sadness radiating off of you. As far as he knows, you of all people should never have to feel this sad. All nervousness forgotten, he quickly bends down and tilts your chin up, tenderly wiping away the tears that have now started their journey down your cheeks.

It's been 5 minutes of you and him, leaning against each other as he wipes away the quiet tears that keep replacing each other.

Finally, in a quiet voice, you explain. At first it was just the dissapointment of no one wanting to really dye their hair with you. But you understood. Really, it was early in the morning, and it was easy to see why people didn't wanna dye their hair right away, or at all even. You completely and totally respected them and their choices. But then, you thought, maybe they're annoyed at me. Maybe, they don't like me anymore. Maybe they wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe they'd be better off without me.

You were well aware you were spiralling, but after the negative thoughts started, it was hard to stop. You had anxiety of these types of things.

Countless times, Nat and Wanda had had to reassure your wanted presence and that the team did love you.

While you were explaining, Buckys arms slowly snaked around to embrace you, and put his chin on top of you head. He was sad, simply because you were.

But listening to your thought process made him realize that you were human too, and it opened his eyes to listen to your anxiousness, no matter how much it still hurt.

Uh oh. The feeling was coming back, tugging at bucky, eating him away, making him want to do anything to make you happier.

Tightening his arms around you one last time before releasing you, he blurted, "uh- I'll dye m-my hair."

Your eyes widened. A small smile slowly creeped onto your tear streaked face. "Yo-you'd do that f-for me?" You hiccuped.

Holy shit. Oh man. Bucky would've tattooed his face if it gave you that little glowing smile and hopeful face you were giving to him now.

"Oh doll. You wouldn't believe what I'd do for you."

PART TWO IS NOW UP

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