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marclvsf1 · 1 year ago

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YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE // Sebastian Vettel

Sebastian vettel x plus-Size!Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story has been sitting unfinished in my drafts for over two weeks, so I think it's about time I uploaded it. By the way, English is not my first language so I accept constructive criticism and I apologize if there are any spelling errors.

WARNINGS: angst, anxiety attack and abandonment. Read at your own risk

Since you and Sebastian decided to make your relationship public both in the media and in the networks, you knew perfectly well that you would receive messages of support and love, and also that you would receive messages from people who would not agree with you or your relationship, and even messages of hate. But this last type of messages had been more present and had been many more than you could have ever imagined. You couldn't believe how a person could be so evil as to constantly send hate messages and even death threats towards a person you had only seen through a screen, just for the simple fact of not having a socially normative body and dating a superstar whom thousands of people considered their idol and their example to follow.

Of course you had also received messages of love and positive messages, but although these were much more numerous than the messages of hate, the human mind tends to always stay with the negative side of things, and you were not going to be the exception, so the messages of hate made much more noise in your mind than the messages of love and support.

And there you were again. Crying in the bathroom of your room with the door closed and your back against it so that no one could enter. Even though Sebastian was away at the moment because of the races, you didn't want any of your children to see you in such a deplorable state if they woke up for any reason. Who would want to be seen in the middle of an anxiety attack, probably with the make-up you hadn't bothered to remove, looking at the hate messages sent to you by your husband's so-called fans? The answer is no one, and anyone who says otherwise really is a big liar.

After what seemed to you like hours lying on the floor of your bathroom reading and re-reading all the hate messages they were sending you, you struggled to get up and put your cell phone away before approaching the sink to find one of the worst reflections the mirror had given you in many years. Your makeup was smeared all over your face as you had expected, but your eyes were red and incredibly puffy, which gave away that you had indeed been crying for at least two hours, and you would even dare to say that you had been crying for longer.

With the little strength you had at that moment, you opened the faucet and began to wash your face trying to remove as much makeup as possible, you didn't even care if you had some remains or not.

Once you finished, you went to your bed, which at that moment was cold and lonely due to the lack of both your husband's and your own body.

You would be lying if you said you had had a nice, restful sleep, you doubted if you had been able to sleep for at least thirty minutes. But at least spending the whole night tossing and turning in the cold and lonely bed had helped you to clear your mind and your ideas. It was clear to you, that very afternoon you would leave the house, Seb deserved much more than what you could give him. Your heart really didn't want to do that, but your mind was clouded by all the bad comments you had been receiving lately.

So once the three children woke up and you gave them breakfast, you took them to Kimi and Minttu's house, which was only a couple of minutes drive from yours. Which they didn't find strange, since whenever either of you had things to do and had no one to leave the kids with, you took them to each other's house so they could spend time together.

When you arrived home after having been driving all the way home with tears in your eyes which left you with hardly any vision, you climbed the stairs to your room as fast as you could, and started to pack the small suitcase that you would take to your mother's house, not that you had much time before Sebastian arrived home, so once you had it ready, you took a sheet of paper and a pen from his office and started to write the most difficult letter you had ever written:

Dear sebsatian. I never thought that someday I would write this letter, and you don't know how it hurts me to do it. I am writing you this letter with tears in my eyes to thank you for all the moments we have spent together. We met in high school, and although I always deny it when we fought, I fell in love with you from the first moment we met, but I never thought we would get to where we are today: married and with three beautiful children. I still remember the day I told you I was pregnant for the first time, your eyes full of illusion when I showed you the test I had done days before, and you confirmed that it really wasn't any of my jokes and that I was pregnant for real. I remember how your arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to you before hugging me with all your strength as if I was your greatest treasure and would disappear the moment you let go, before filling my face with kisses while our laughter echoed throughout the room. And your reaction was no less when I told you the next two times. And I promise you that you are the best father I could have ever chosen for my children. But I am not the best mother or the best wife you could ever have. That is why I am writing this letter right now. I am leaving, but don't think that you have done anything wrong or that I am leaving because of you. I'm leaving because I can't go on in this situation, pretending that everything is fine, that nothing is wrong with me in front of the kids, I can't go on pretending that all those comments don't really affect me, I can't go on pretending that they are not over afect me.

I can't stay in this house anymore, drowning between four walls. I don't know how long I'll be gone, maybe just a couple of days, weeks, months.... I really don't know, I just want to heal my heart and mind. So, please don't look for me. If the kids ask for me tell them I love them and that I am on a work trip. I know you will be fine without me, because as I have said before, you are the best father I could have ever imagined for my children. I love you. Don't ever forget that P.S. The kids are at Kimi's house.

Once you finished writing the letter with tears streaming down your face thankful that you hadn't worn any makeup that day, you wiped the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand. You took off the ring that had been adorning your left hand since you got married, and left it on the letter, feeling that you were also leaving a part of yourself, and walked out of the house, meeting the cab you had ordered earlier for the airport.

When Sebastian arrived home, he expected to be greeted with screams, hugs, laughter and the occasional stolen kiss as your children tried to get his attention so he could play with them as he was used to every time he returned from a Grand Prix. But when instead of screams and laughter he was greeted by silence, something inside him knew at that moment that something was wrong. But the last thing he expected was to find your wedding ring on top of a letter . When he finished reading this one, he dropped it on the floor along with the ring, feeling anger and helplessness take over his body at breakneck speed. I was not angry with you, I could never be angry with you, and even less so when you were not at all to blame. He was angry at all those people who had been sending you the messages that had led you to make that decision. But he was also angry at himself for having been so blind as not to realize what was happening in front of his eyes and how it was affecting you.

The first two weeks he accepted your request not to look for you or call you, but he was getting more and more desperate for not receiving even a simple confirmation that nothing had happened to you and that you were fine. And the children didn't help either, every day they asked him when you were coming back, to which he answered that you were on a trip and that you would come back soon, which only seemed to help them until bedtime when they cried because they wanted you to take them to bed and tell them a bedtime story.

Sebastian hadn't spent any decent nights since you left. The bed felt cold and lonely without you. He wondered if that's how you felt every time he went to a grand prix.

But you'd be lying if you said you had. You had spent each and every night crying in your childhood bed missing your family, while ignoring each and every call Sebastian had made to you, while staring at the screen wondering whether to answer him or not.

(...)

It had been three months since Sebastian had come across your letter and wedding ring after returning from a grand prix, and since then he hadn't heard from you. Little by little he was beginning to lose hope that you would come home, although a part of him would really feel that you would come home when he least expected it and keep your word . Right now he was in one of your favorite bookstores in Heppenheim while the children were at home with their parents. He would really love for you to be

with him at that time and explore together all the memories you had together in that place.

He was absorbed looking at the books of his favorite section, when a voice coming from the other side of the shelf, made him come out of his thoughts. But it was not just any voice, it was a voice that he would be able to recognize blindly in a room where everyone is talking, a voice that had accompanied and guided him in his worst moments and that had never left him before, it was your voice.

At that moment Sebastian did not know how to react, he had been three months without any news about you, and now you were in the same establishment where you had met years ago, but this time in a completely different situation.

A part of him wanted to go to where he knew you were and hug you and never let you go again. But the other part of him was telling him that he should continue to respect his decision and wait for you to come looking for him.

Without knowing how, his legs had automatically moved to where you were, as if a thread was pulling your bodies together so that they would always be united.

And there you were, standing in front of each other, staring into each other's eyes but neither of you daring to say anything for fear of breaking the bubble you had created between you and of which no one else seemed to be aware.

-Not yet, but soon- you said, daring to be the first to break the silence.

-Do you promise?- Sebastian asked, raising his hand to your face as if to caress your cheek but quickly withdrawing it along the way before making contact with you.

-I promise,-you said, giving him a slight smile.

-Okay... I... miss you, but I'm glad to have seen you at least for a moment,- he said, looking down at the ground.

-I miss you too Seb, much more than you can imagine, you and the children. But I promise you that when you least expect it I'll be back with you,-you said, daring to stroke the slight stubble that I seemed to have been neglecting lately.

-The kids are with my parents, but I still don't want to leave them alone for too long. Take care of yourself, ok? I love you,- he said before looking you in the eyes for the last time and heading to the door he had entered just a few minutes ago.

-Take care of yourself too, Seb... I love you,- you said the last part in a whisper when he was too far away to hear it.

You let out a sigh and went back to your work to try to get rid of your thoughts, being away from your family was being harder than you could have ever imagined.

[...]

Two weeks after your last meeting, Sebastian had returned home after dropping the kids off at Kimi's house, as he would soon have to leave in order to practice with the new Aston Martin. But what he certainly didn't expect was to be greeted by the melody of your favorite song and the smell of his favorite dinner coming from the kitchen. With his heart racing he approached the place and what he saw couldn't have made him happier. You were there, you were back, but you were back with a much brighter aura than the one you had when you left, and that alone made all those months apart worth it for Sebastian.

-You're back,- he said from the kitchen door, startling you by his sudden appearance.

-I thought you would come back later, dinner is not ready yet, you can sit in the living room if you want.-

-Who cares about dinner, you're back,- he said, throwing himself into your arms, making you almost lose your balance, before joining your lips in a kiss full of feelings.

-I'm back,- you replied with a smile once you parted, -I promised you, didn't I? I always keep my word.-

-I can't wait to see the children's reaction.-

-I haven't missed them either, I've missed them so much.-

-so why wait. Let's call Kimi and order something for dinner. I'm sure the kids would love to have a movie night with their mother even if it's not Friday.-

-All right,- you said, putting out the fire, -but only because I feel like it too.-

-by the way , Seb... -

-Yes?-

-I love you-

#sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #sv5 #seb vettel #sebastian vettel fanfic #vettel #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1

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fabbyf1 · 7 months ago

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Regarding that consent reblog: I appreciate the way you handle consent, education and kink in your fics so much! I love kink in fics, I love fics that are deep dead dove territory, but nothing makes me nope out more quickly than a story that has dubious consent or rape, but doesn't address it narratively or even downplays it. I read a published erotica novel recently that a friend recommended and I was close to tears by how upsetting I found the way it dealt with consent. I have no issue with reading rape, and do read it occasionally, but I find it fucked up when non-consensual situations are downplayed to something just slightly toxic, but acceptable. After that, I had even more appreciation for how you write. Specifically the warming verse made me re-evaluate how I would approach certain kink conversations with a partner. So, thank you!

tl;dr kate's rambling again but this time about consent

😭😭😭 thank you for writing all this out, bestie. this was very well said and i'm so glad that you enjoy the way i handle consent/kink in my fics!

i know not everybody likes talking about it, and clearly some people don't want it in fics at all (though i don't think they're readers of mine. i've received a lot of weird anon hate and "constructive criticism" over the years and never once has it been like "ew you write too much consent" lmfao) but it's always nice to know that people are enjoying the way i write it.

believe it or not, i never set out to be a smut writer 😂 if you go back to the very beginning of my ao3 history, i reallllllly struggled with smut at first. my first dabble into smut was in my 1D fic (which has little to no smut) and it took me ACTUAL MONTHS to write one scene. it just wasn't something i ever saw myself doing. but even though this is fanfiction and not all that serious, i still feel responsible to make it as realistic as possible.

mostly because that's what i like to read, but partly because... i think it's important people read it.

it's easy to get sort of... lost in ao3 kink/smut/dead dove stuff when you're consuming SO much of it (or too much of it) which sort of goes in line with what you were saying about non-consensual situations being downplayed to something just slightly toxic.

i feel (personally. this is different for everyone, but i'm sure some people can relate) you can easily get into a bad place where the lines of reality start to blur and you can almost... forget? that there's a difference between fanfic smut and real life sexual encounters. and i never want any of my readers to forget that they should ALWAYS advocate for their safety, for their consent, and for any other thing my characters talk about.

i never want any of my readers to go out looking for a kinky relationship (especially if they only realized they might be into that from reading my fics) and forget to protect themselves. because their safety is more important to me than views. it is more important to me than pleasing random anons who are just looking to get off and not reading the full story. and it is definitely more important to me than ao3 kudos.

i'm 33 years old, and i've found myself in too many situations in my life where i haven't always felt heard or safe in my surroundings. and if i can gentle-parent my readers into always remembering that consent is sexy and that their safety is valid and important and not worth leaving out of a silly fanfiction, than i can sleep soundly at night.

thank you.

#tl;dr kate's rambling again but this time about consent

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eyitzme · 1 year ago

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ˢʷᵉᵉᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ; ˣᵃⁿʳᵉⁱ ⁽ᵈʳᵈᵗ⁾ Summary: Xander Matthews is so nice to Arei Nageishi! It's obvious that he should be since he's her boyfriend, duh, but the way he's this nice to her because he wants to be makes her start thinking about their relationship differently. Word Count: 2,758 A/N: This was inspired by a pin on Pinterest that said, "Why is my boyfriend only nice to me when I'm sleeping? He'll cover me up with a blanket, kiss me on the forehead and sometimes come and cuddle me but when I wake up he calls me a stupid bitch." This was meant to have pre-sleep fluff and end with Arei starting something that makes Xander call her a "stupid bitch," but angst somehow got in when I specifically said that this was supposed to just be trashy fluff. This doesn't even end with the "stupid bitch" comment because the angst makes it look out of place, but we're just going to roll with it. I want to get more motivation to write more Xanrei but don't have it. Maybe posting one shots here will give me it :p

you're so nice...

Arei Nageishi was a wonderful human being! Who could ever say otherwise? Well, maybe Xander Mathews, but he got a free pass. Was it because of favouritism? Obviously! You had to be a special person to get away with calling her insults others called "constructive criticism," and as her boyfriend, Xander was very special.

Arei had a long day today. Going bowling with Ace Markey, annoying J Rosales, hanging out with Xander, annoying J again, studying for an upcoming test with Min Jeung and Eden Tobisa, annoying J for a third time... She was just a very busy person. Xander offered for her to stay at his place for the night, which she, as usual, accepted.

"I'm so tired," Arei said through a yawn as she entered Xander's apartment. She kicked off her shoes and took off her winter coat as she made herself comfortable on his couch. They had been dating for almost a year—longer than the bets Teruko Tawaki and Charles Cuevas made on "when" they would break up—so she could treat his apartment however she wanted. It was basically her home now anyway. She stayed at his place more often than her own. In her defence, it always felt more comfortable here than her apartment. Hers didn't have enough Xander.

As Xander put his winter coat away, he said, "You can get ready for bed. I need to call Whit first."

"Okay then. Goodnight, Xander!" Arei waited until he told her goodnight back before she went to his bedroom.

Xander's apartment had two bedrooms. He lived alone, so the other bedroom was a guest room in case a friend wanted to stay over. When Arei first stayed over almost a year ago, he was ready to prepare the guest room for her when she joked about them sleeping in his bedroom together. Arei received a flustered Xander as a reward, which she enjoyed more than she thought. She wasn't all too aware of her feelings back then, and apparently, neither did he. But, before they knew it, they were dating the next morning. Not like she was complaining.

Unfortunately, he was used to her sleeping in his bedroom with him by now. She wouldn't see him flustered with that anymore, but it was still nice being in his bedroom than the guest room. Like her apartment, the guest room didn't have enough Xander in it. It was always more comfortable surrounded by him—but she would die in a ditch before she said that out loud.

Arei stepped inside Xander's bedroom, closing the door behind her. If she was being honest, his bedroom was her favourite place in the world—her happy place, if anyone ever asked her what it was. Everything was so Xander. From the messy bed to the curtains to the posters, she loved it there. It was the reason she wanted to sleep in his bedroom when she first stayed over. His bedroom looked so safe and comfortable, and it reminded her of him. Even with how he could be stupid and reckless, he knew how to make sure others felt safe. And it always worked.

Arei reached up and let her hair down, blue strands falling over her shoulders. She had some of her own clothes left at his apartment—whether they were by accident or not was something only she would know—but she normally wore Xander's spare clothes to sleep in. She liked to tease him about his clothing style, but they were nice enough to sleep in. He never told her that she couldn't wear them anyway. She knew from the moment she saw how red his ears got when she first wore his clothes that she could wear them whenever she wanted, but she felt something else along with happiness at the realization.

She laid down on the bed with plenty of soft pillows. He bought the pillows a few months after they started dating. While he could sleep wherever if he tried, she needed at least two soft pillows to sleep comfortably. He found that out soon, and so he bought more for whenever she came over. She was surprised that he noticed that, and he was even more surprised at how he casually brushed it off as if it was nothing. Like doing that was just to be expected.

Buying the pillows and letting her wear his clothes showed that he was more considerate that she thought he would be. It wasn't like she had low standards for him; she saw how he cared for their classmates, even if he was reckless at times. She was more surprised at how caring he was specifically to her and her alone. From their relationship prior to dating, she thought he would be a little more hostile. It made her start thinking about how they acted in acted in their relationship, and it stuck with her even now.

Xander hated corrupt people. She listened to him rant about them enough to know that for a fact. She was sure that by his standards, she was one of said corrupt people. How he could stand to date her, she didn't know. How she could stand the niceness he gave her when she was sure she didn't deserve it from him, she also didn't know.

Arei turned on the bed so her back would be facing the door and closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking about it. If she wasn't tired before, she certainly was now. Xander could just do that to her.

. . .

Arei felt a hand on her cheek. She recognized who it was from how the hand felt alone, but she still opened her eyes a crack. She still wanted to see him.

Her eyes found Xander's face almost instantly. Seeing her awake, he quickly said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine..." Arei found her eyes closing again. He always did this whenever she stayed over. He'd cover her with the blanket, kiss her goodnight, and cuddle with her until they both fell asleep. It was always so gentle, and the reminder of it refilled her mind with the two questions she had for months: Why was Xander so kind to her, and why wasn't she as kind back?

Just as she thought, she felt the blanket climb higher up her body. The bed shifted under Xander's weight as he sat next to her. His hands ran through her hair, brushing her bangs aside. She could feel his gaze on her, and she knew that if she opened her eyes, she would see a gentle look in his eyes. It was a dumb look, but she loved knowing someone could look at her like that. Then, she would remember who was looking at her and why he shouldn't, and she found herself hating hey still loving it at the same time. It was so stupid.

He would leave soon for a bit. She knew that was probably coming. Then, he would come back and finish the rest of what he usually did. Just the thought of it made her stomach twist as she wondered what she had done for him. She had to do something if he treated her like this, right? But she couldn't figure out what for the life of her.

It was probably better to ask now than later. She couldn't have this with her during their one-year anniversary, could she? Arei opened her eyes halfway and said, "Hey, Xander...?"

"You're still awake?" he asked, his voice quiet. Why did she have to fall for someone with such a calming voice? Even his British accent she loved to make fun of was working so well with his voice.

"Obviously." Arei's voice didn't sound as snarky as it might've if she had more energy in her. "Just...had a question."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. Why are you so nice to me? It makes no sense..." Again, her voice didn't sound as snarky and it might've. She decided to blame it on her tiredness.

Even in the darkness, she could see a frown form on Xander's face. "What do you mean?"

Of course she had to explain the obvious to him. Why did she had to find that endearing? "Exactly what I said. Why are you so nice to me?"

"Well...you're my girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean you have to be nice."

"Are you...asking me to be mean to you?"

Arei sighed. "Never mind. Forget I said anything..."

"No, don't go to sleep now...!" Xander gently shook her back awake. "Arei, what's wrong?"

Stupid Xander being so caring. Couldn't he just care even just a little less about her? He was just adding fuel to her questions. Idiot!

But Arei still found herself sitting up by herself to prevent sleep from coming. She avoided making eye contact, which was hard with how brightly yellow his eye colour now was. Words starting coming out of her mouth without permission. "Why are you so nice to me? I'm not stupid, you know; I know how I acted before we were dating. I know how I act while we're dating. You've always been...nice and considerate, and it's weird. Why aren't you at least a little mean to me?"

Xander stayed silent as she talked, and he stayed silent after. She didn't like it. Couldn't he just say that she was delusional and move on?

"I'm nice to you for a lot of reasons. I'll give you three right now," he finally said. "First, you're my girlfriend."

"That doesn't mean—"

"Let me finish." His hands went over top of hers, and he started rubbing circles on them with his thumb. "First, you're my girlfriend. Second, I don't like being mean when I don't have to be. Third, everyone deserves kindness—especially you, Arei."

Again, words came out before she could stop them. "Do I? You know how I treat other people—how I treat you. But you still somehow thought that I can be a worthy girlfriend who deserved...this. Why? Why do you even like me in the first place?"

She hated how she sounded. Her words and voice were pathetically needy. So weak and vulnerable. That was not who Arei was at all. Why did she have to talk in the first place? Just pretending to be asleep until he left wouldn't have caused this.

Xander was silent for a moment after she asked that. Eventually, he said, "I...honestly don't know why I like you."

She felt her shoulders sag as her fingers curled into her palm. That was literally the most obvious answer. She didn't know what she expected.

"But that doesn't change the fact that I do," he added. "And because I do, I want to treat you right."

"To prove to everyone that we can have a relationship that lasts more than a few months?"

"And because I want to."

"But also because of that."

"I'm not going to deny it..."

Despite herself, Arei found herself smiling a little.

"Why are you against me being nice to you though?" he asked slowly. "Just do you know, I'm not going to be mean to you just because you want me to be."

"That wasn't even what I wanted—" Arei stopped herself before she said it. She changed it to, "Xander..."

"You can say it," Xander said with a smile. Was she that easy to read?

"If I say it," she replied, "then I'm just proving my point—and that's not what you want."

"It's fine. Just say it."

Well, if she had permission, she might as well say it. "That wasn't even what I wanted, stupid. Do you even listen to anything I say? Why am I even wasting my time on you?"

That came out a lot easier, but almost too easy. It was just what she was used to, and that was a bad sign, wasn't it? He didn't flinch while she said it—he was actually smiling—but she was sure it did something to him. It had to, right?

Xander lifted one of Arei's hands to his lips. Even though their one-year anniversary was coming up, she still felt tingles spread from where his lips touched her skin like how it was when he first did it. When her hand was pulled away, their eyes met. She pulled her other hand free from his grasp to put it under his chin and lift his head and kiss him.

Arei took note of how the kiss was gentle and nice. That was how she would like to be with him all the time. Even with all her pride, she could say that was what he deserved. It was so confusing why someone like him would pick someone like her when there were plenty of other people who were fitter to be his lover than her. Why would he want to be with a corrupt person when he hated them?

She leaned back, reminding herself to keep even breaking the kiss gentle. Kissing him when she knew that his opinion on her was going to change the moment he found out who he was truly dating was too uncomfortable. He wouldn't want to be with her after he found out what she did to her sisters on purpose. Who cared about how they treated her? No one did before. She was definitely a corrupt person in his book, and that meant a breakup would be very soon.

All of their classmates were right about doubting they could last long in a reltionship. They almost made it to a year only because Arei never told anyone her past. But she should tell Xander before their one-year anniversary. He shouldn't have to know that he wasted a whole year with someone like her.

Xander's hand pushed a strand of her blue hair behind her ear, staying on her cheek. He leaned forward and kissed her other cheek before resting his head on her shoulder.

Arei took his hand and held it. Could she ever get used to how trusting he was of her?

To distract herself from her thoughts, she said rather quietly, "You better not fall asleep on me again like last time. You're way too heavy for me."

His voice was just as quiet when he responded. "I'm not that heavy. Besides, you're the Ultimate Bowler. You should have some strength in your arms, right?"

"That doesn't mean I want a whole elephant laying on me, Alexander. It's even worse that this elephant's British."

"Hah. Hah." He made no move to get off her.

Arei didn't actually mind that he didn't. His weight was comforting, almost like a heavy yet warm blanket. She laid down on the bed, Xander shifting on top of her just to make them both more comfortable. His head remained nestled onto her shoulder, and her arms wrapped around him to keep him close.

She listened to his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. Her focus was only on his warm body that encompassed her. This was her boyfriend for a few months short of a year. An actual boyfriend who wanted to cherish her. How did she manage to get this far and not realize that? How stupid was she to not know how lucky she was?

"Hey, Xander?" she whispered, not wanting to break the silence.

He didn't respond. From his steady breathing, she guessed that he fell asleep.

"Goodnight, Xander," she told him quietly. After a second, she added, "I'll try to be a better person for you. Even if I know you'll breakup with me once I tell you about my sisters."

Arei was going to add that Xander was dead to her if she was awake the whole time but was only pretending to be asleep, but she stopped herself. Even if she didn't like being that vulnerable around anyone, it felt more natural to not say anything. It was a baby step in becoming a better person.

Arei was going to follow through with it. If he actually was asleep or forgot about it in the morning, she hoped Xander would notice her changes. He was so kind to her, and it was about time she returned it. Then, he could decide if he wanted to breakup. She was a corrupt person, so there was no judgement on his part if he did. She just wanted him to know that she could truly be a good person.

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hyperfigations · 2 years ago

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A Nightingale's Song: A Nice And Not-So-Accurate Season 3

Summary:

“How long are you going to brood today? Because we have about thirty minutes until I gotta close up shop,” A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the coffee shop owner had sat down at his table. Crowley rolled his eyes from underneath dark lenses. “M’not brooding,” He mumbled, attempting to take a sip of his coffee without wincing at the bad taste it left in his mouth. Nina knew better, especially after having to put up with him for the past six months. She gave him a knowing look. “I’d say all liars go to hell but ya know,” ♡♡♡ Two months after Aziraphale had accepted the Metatron's offer, the Second Coming is finally put into motion. Aziraphale and Crowley must get over their personal issues to do what they do best: Stop Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth.

Prologue: The angels fall and Aziraphale makes a new friend on the Eastern Gate.

Word Count: 2,382

TW: None! I don't think! Let me know if there is though!

Author's Note: Hello! First fic in a year or so! So I am VERYYY rusty 😭 I apologize for that! And first Good Omens fic I've ever written! I'm pretty excited! I hope you like it!!

Also Disclaimer: This fic is just for entertainment purposes! I'm not really trying to predict Season 3 or anything, this is all just for fun!!!

Please enjoy! And if you have any constructive criticism, please let me know! I always aim to write better! Thank you!!

God had once said the days leading to the Sin of Eden had all been nice.

But God lied.

The day the angels had fallen was indeed not nice. Though many were ready for this two-day war to be over, the end was not what they had in mind. It was a sour, bitter victory. They had watched their Lord cast out their once dear friends from their home, the very home they had helped build. The crowds of angels who were just battling their brothers and sisters now stared blankly down from Heaven through the parted clouds. Grief and horror had not existed before that moment, but it was written all over their faces.

God was never thought of as being cruel, at least not in those first few days of the world being made. But it was hard to think of Her as anything else as She made a point to let all those who were left see the Fall. It was like She wanted them to know the cost of disobedience.

The sight of all those who opposed Her dropping from the sky was… well, it was terrifying. If there were humans on Earth -which at this point in time, there weren’t- they would look up at the sky and see one of the most beautiful meteor showers they had ever laid eyes on. But there weren't any people on Earth. Not yet. And what the angels saw was anything but beautiful. They did look like stars falling from the dark blanket of a sky, the last of their grace being stripped away by gravity as it pulled them downward. The soft glow of their holy light was now replaced with a raging fire that outlined their bodies.

The Fall felt slow. Agonizing. Many tried to fly back upward, begging for their Creator to help them like a crying child reaching toward their mother. But God hadn’t even flinched. She watched Her creations tumble downward with no remorse. Their white wings set ablaze with just a blink of Her eyes and from the heavens, they could hear them screaming.

The Fallen’s descent from their old home was broken by boiling pools of sulfur. Thousands of disobedient angels splashed into these pools, and the heat did not comfort their already burning bodies.

They were all sobbing, screaming out to God. God was listening, but She didn’t answer.

The Fallen climbed their way out of the thick liquid, not looking quite the same as they were. Their once clear skin was now riddled with scales or warts or anything deemed unholy. They had features that looked quite similar to the animal prototypes that were still in beta back in Heaven, and the love they had once felt from God Herself was gone. They were left feeling unloved, unholy, and ugly.

They wanted to go back home.

But one Fallen Angel, a little more determined than the others to crawl out of boiling black sulfur pits, made his way to the edge of the bubbling pool. He forced himself up and out, his dark auburn curls matted down with black-like tar. His robes were now darkened, his wings still ablaze. His soft eyes were now sharp and yellow and filled with malice. They were burning and wet, not just from tears but from the chemicals that forced its way through his lids. He didn’t know if he was staring at his maker. But he did know She was listening. He could feel Her listening to all of their suffering. That in itself made him more livid.

“Why,” he screamed to Her. And all the angels who stayed above could hear him clearly over the cries of the damned. One angel was more interested in listening than the others. The fluffy-haired cherub stepped forward to get a better view of the ripped-open earth below where the Fallen had landed.

“You’re punishing us? And for what? You made us like this! You gave us the freedom to ask questions! To choose! Why punish us for how you made us?! Why should we pay for your mistake?!”

The one angel in the crowd cringed, as he looked down through the clouds. It was dawn now and the sun, the very sun that was made by that particular fallen angel, was shining against the Fallen. And the exiled angels were far easier to see now. The fallen angel, glaring at God, had in fact been the angel he saw create gorgeous star systems and beautiful nebulas. He never did catch his name… Not that it matters now. But even so, his heart hurt for him. The cherub whose name is Aziraphale, admired how passionate he had been while cranking up the engine to start the universe. Oh, how his eyes shined brightly, almost mimicking the stars he had just created. But that angel questioned God… He denied Her plan. Even now, he was still asking questions. The very same kind of questions that had led him to be punished. So why did Aziraphale feel so bad for him?

To Aziraphale’s horror, he found himself wondering the same thing. She created them. She gifted them with freedom of choice, but when some angels exercised that freedom, they were punished. What was the point of giving someone the right to choose if they can’t choose? the angel found himself pondering, but then his eyes met with the being that was God, and his thoughts were replaced with terror. She was all-knowing. She could probably hear every single doubt that crossed his mind. He didn’t want to fall… Falling was horrible… It wasn’t too long ago when angels would look to God and feel a warm comfort. She was supposed to be a beacon of hope. But She was radiating anything but. It was clear from the authority on Her face now that She wanted to be feared. And She was feared.

Angels were terrified to even speak, lest they say something that would displease Her. Nobody - not even the mightiest of archangels- dared to speak up.

They all stared at Her in silence… A deep, tense silence.

God decided She was quite finished with the Fallen. She had made her point loud and clear to her children. With the wave of Her hand, God closed the clouds so no one could see the Fallen any longer. The screams had ceased. Well, the screams continued but they just couldn't be heard by the angels anymore. Her head turned to look at all Her remaining soldiers and smiled a sickening, sweet grin. She glanced at the angel who stood next to Her, and he nodded. His white wings spread wide, his voice carrying across what was once a battlefield, “We've already wasted too much time, don't you all think? Let’s get back to work.”

With that, God left them to do Her work. The Metatron, the mouthpiece of God, reminded the angels that She wouldn’t punish them if She hadn’t cared. That she loved all of them dearly. But the word love didn’t feel right. How was what they saw love? But Aziraphale shook his head, eager to be rid of the doubt that began to riddle his mind.

Who were they to question God?

Even if it was clear that Her love was one of her many lies.

♡♡

Aziraphale didn’t feel like he earned his promotion, but when the Supreme Archangel tells you that you’re no longer a cherub but a principality, then you don’t argue. You just nod, and ask what to do next. The past few days had been busy since then. He had been put in charge of God's special little place on Earth that they had settled on calling the Garden of Eden. He was to look after it, protect it from the Fallen Angels, who (according to the Metatron) were to be called demons now. Aziraphale didn't get why, to be honest. Why would the Fallen Angels… or "demons" want to hurt what they helped create. Then again, nothing made sense anymore. Everyone in Heaven used to be so sure of themselves; of their work. But nowadays, since the end of the Great Battle, everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells. As if any minute mistake would cause any of them to join their estranged peers down in Hell.

Aziraphale stood on the Eastern Gate, mindlessly playing with the flaming sword that was given to him. He was told to use said sword if anyone threatened Eden, but if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would ever use it. Not even on a demon. Even with the stories that Michael was telling the Cherubs about them, how evil they were. No, we wouldn’t dare… even so, he still held onto the sword dutifully, as if he would use it. He turned from the gigantic, beige dunes outside of the walls to look at the luscious, green beauty of God’s newest creation. Eden at the moment, was bountiful with hard-working angels, trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, which was going to be a big day, so they were told. Word upstairs was that God was ready to let loose Her newest invention: humans. This day was the day that all angels have been waiting for since God Herself presented the plan she had for Earth.

His face brightened slightly at the sight of some angels tending to the plants in the garden, laughing amongst themselves as they worked. For the first time in a few days, they seemed relaxed. Like they were Before.

It was nice.

A low hissing noise sounded near his feet. The principality let out an involuntary yelp, jumping back. His white wings spread above as if to make him seem bigger than whatever had startled him. His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened as he looked down at the end of his white robes only to see a long line of black and red scales. The angel’s eyes narrowed as he stepped forward to take a closer look. He was a bit surprised to see the black and red line staring straight back up at him, with gleaming yellow eyes. Aziraphale had seen prototypes back in Heaven of a creature like this, though at the moment the name of such a beast slipped his mind. He glanced down at the group of angels to see if they had heard him, but thank the Lord, they did not. How embarrassing would that be? To be frightened so easily by a creation of God? Aziraphale’s face flushed red, letting out a flustered giggle.

“Oh dear,” He said. “You gave me quite the scare.”He bent down, the bottom of his wings laying gently on the warm, gray stone of the wall behind him. He beamed bashfully at the beast, who was still watching him curiously. “What are you doing up here?” He asked, inquisitively. “I do rather think you’re supposed to be down in the garden with the other animals.” Aziraphale watched the beast as if it was supposed to answer him. “I suppose you’re just being curious. I don’t blame you, truthfully.” The angel stood up straight just to sit down on the edge of the wall, watching the others work once again, his legs dangling over the edge. The beast didn’t move, he still just watched the guardian. It almost carried a nervous energy to it and turned its attention to the flaming sword in his hand. Realization dawns upon the angel's face and without hesitation, he set the sword on his side away from the creature. "Oh no, don't worry, my dear," he whispered sweetly. "You're safe here." Aziraphale's face grew brighter as the beast slithered its way up next to him. It kept its golden eyes fixed on him, cautiously. "I bet all you creatures are very confused with what's going on down there," He told it. "Tomorrow is a big day. A happy one at that! Everything we've worked on… fought for will all be clear tomorrow." The beast gave him a look of doubt. Aziraphale could feel it wash over him, "Well… at least I hope it will be clear." He glanced at it, his lips creasing down on his face but quickly shook it off. "No, no. It will be. God has a plan, and we angels have the easy part. We just follow it." For the first time since it had got here, the beast stared away from the angel and out into the garden. It was thinking. "Well then," Aziraphale sighed, startling the beast out of its thoughts. It let out a small hiss, moving away from the angel as he scrambled up to his feet, snatching up the flaming sword on his way up. Aziraphale didn't pay any mind to the creature, it was obviously just afraid, and though he didn't understand why, he knew better than to pry into its business. Not that he could actually talk to it anyway. The other animals weren't up to conversation, and he assumed that this one wasn't any different. This one was different however in the way it did seem to respond. Maybe not in words but he could feel that it understood him. He'd never come across such a clever creature. "I should return to my duties before Archangel Gabriel catches me lounging around. You see, he doesn’t take kind to being lazy on the job. You should get back with the other animals, my dear." The beast glanced his way and then back at the garden, almost looking a bit hesitant to go in. Aziraphale waved his hands dismissively, "Not that I don't enjoy your company. Because I do! But I'm sure the angels down there will notice you gone, and everything must be in tip-top condition for tomorrow. So off you go!" The beast's forked tongue tested the air before it slipped its way down the stone and into Eden. The Guardian of the Eastern Gate grinned proudly to himself as if to say ‘Good job me! Making sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible!’ He now was ready (if not far more ready than before) to continue his duty of making sure no pesky demons make their way into the garden.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #good omens fanfiction #crowley x aziraphale #crowley good omens #aziraphale good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #ineffable idiots #ineffable partners #fake season 3 because I don't wanna wait for one #i am so impatient #fanfiction #A Nightingale's Song #A Nice and Not-So-Accurate Season 3

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onlyjaeyun · 1 year ago

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zadie love!!!! 💗💫 i know u said to not apologize for sending in late asks but i can’t help it im sorry🥲 i’ve been so busy on my girls trip this past weekend, and i got home super late last night so i’ve been exhausted trying to fix my sleep schedule yet again while also unpacking from my recent trips BUT while i was in new york i still made sure i got to read ur updates before bed!! i thought it would be better to send in a longer ask once i got home and had more time to type it out🫶🏻🫶🏻

ONTO THE RECENT CHAPS: i looooveeedd taro & yn’s convo like they really are just two besties with absolutely no filter and i enjoyed that chap sm😭 also taro basically calling out yn saying she can’t finish bc sunghoon isn’t the one fucking her is so real like our girl needs to accept and realize it soon😓 AND HOON BEING SO OPEN ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK HER AGAIN WAS NOTTT ON MY 2024 BINGO CARD BC I WOULD THINK HE HAS TOO MUCH PRIDE TO OPENLY ADMIT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. then again he’s still a dick for saying that he wants to fuck her but still doesn’t care about her…you’re writing CH!sunghoon so well like he genuinely makes my blood boil at times. i’m glad yn is getting laid tho but she needs to be fucked good soon and i’m sensing a smut chap w/ hoon in the near future??👀👀

i saw the recent asks some anon sent in saying CH is getting boring and i truly want to know where their thought process is at bc it’s literally getting better with each chapter!!!! some people are so rude, like i get constructive criticism, but that just wasn’t it. the way you’re writing this smau is everything and more zadie, don’t let those weirdos get to you!!!! i know it’s easier said than done but remember there’s more people who love your works (me being one of them), than people who are just bored and have nothing else better to do with their days. IM AN ONLYJAEYUN DEFENDER TILL THE END‼️‼️ you’re doing amazing baby, keep your head up💓💓

wanted to share w/ you a little bit about my girls trip to nyc too!! it was my friend’s 23rd birthday so our whole friend group surprised her w/ a weekend trip to new york as a bday present!! OMG a funny story that happened on our first night there, we all went to this club to celebrate and these group of guys kept being so pushy and gross towards me and my friends. one of them insisted on buying me a drink but he just made me so uncomfy that i didn’t want to even be near him. i tried to decline nicely but he was so persistent. what was funny was that he saw my lockscreen and it was a pic of jongseong in the gym and he immediately backed off bc he thought it was my bf so thank you jay bc he was able to get me out of that situation😭😭

i got carried away with writing this ask so i hope you enjoy this novel i wrote you LOL🤭🤞🏻💞 i hope you’re doing well my baby!! i missed chatting w/ you🥹🫶🏻 ilysm 🤍🧸🎀 !!

- 💌

MY ANGEL BABY IS BACK YALL WAKE UP!!!!🤭🤭🤭💗

bless your sweet soul, the fact you made time to read CH during your busy ass girls' trip means so much to me baby, i love and appreciate you with my whole heart 🥺💗

STOP YOULL ACTUALLY MAKE ME CRY NOT THE DEFENDER PART 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much baby, ngl the comment did hurt a little but i know most of you guys are loving it as much as i do and with amazing feedback from amazing people like you snd many more i would never let those get to me to that certain point again 🥺 i love you sm

OMG NOT THE JONGIE BOYFIE PIC SAVING YOU!!!!! he really is THAT boyfriend im afraid 🤭 im sorry you had to deal with m*n like that baby and am glad you're ssfe and having fun, you deserve it so much!🥺

sending you the biggest kiss and i really hope you can get a little rest soon bc nestie you've been booked and busy but we love to see it!!!!!💗

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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splendidreads · 2 years ago

Text

Open Your Arms, Part 2

Mob!Bucky Barnes x Female OC

Word Count: 3182

Warnings: Mentions of not being treated well, nothing other than that for this chapter.

Summary: ‘Arranged marriages are never easy. This one is no exception. Both sides will have to relearn their ways, and learn to trust each other. Bucky has all the love to give, but Katherine doesn’t know how to accept real love. She’s never been loved by anyone other than her best friend. Will she learn to open her heart, to New Yorks most notorious Mob Boss? Or is she too scared, that he’s just like everyone else?’

A/N; This is my FIRST Bucky story. As well as my first AU story. If this first part does well, I’ll keep on going. I’m incredibly beyond nervous about this. Constructive criticism welcome, but please be nice. Please re-post and comment :)

I do NOT give permission for my work to be copied and posted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. PLEASE just reblog if you want to share my story!!

Will happily start a tag list if anyone is interested!

PART 3 NOW POSTED

“You’ve never been outside of New York?”

Steve’s bewildered question made Katherine shrug her shoulders, as she picked a piece of pepperoni off her pizza, eating it silently.

“Well, if that information is such a shock, I can’t imagine what your reactions will be like..” She ate a piece of sausage this time, “..When I tell you that I can count the number of times I’ve left the city, on one hand.”

Both men’s mouths fell agape, which made her let out a bit of a laugh.

“Are you serious?” Bucky shook his head, not quite believing her.

“Unfortunately.” She nodded her head, confirming it to be true.

Dinner with them had gone really well, and most of her nerves were gone. They had been talking about pretty simple things, just learning about each other. They had essentially been playing 20 questions, and it turned out to be a bit of fun. They now knew each other's favorite colors; Steve’s was blue, Bucky’s was dark green or dark red, and Katherine’s was purple. Both Steve and Bucky enjoyed the outdoors, whereas Katherine had spent most of her life inside.

“Looks like I need to get some miles under your belt.” Bucky said to her, a grin spread across his face.

Katherine’s cheeks tinted a shade of pink, feeling his eyes on her. She definitely felt like there was something between them.. But was it because of the deal, or was it real? She was hesitant to even attempt to explore the idea, barely knowing him. He was very attractive, and seemed really kind. But, she hardly knew him.

“We should go to Alaska again sometime,” Steve said, before finishing his eighth slice of pizza. “Take her out to the cabin for a few days.”

Katherines smile returned, “Alaska? I hear that you can see all of the stars out there, you don’t even need a telescope!”

Both Bucky and Steve let out soft chuckles, “Are you into astronomy?” Bucky asked her, an eyebrow raised.

She nodded her head as she took a sip of her drink, “Oh yes. Quite unfortunate for me though, you can’t see much here in the city.” She shrugged her shoulders, trying to seem not too bothered by that.

Little did she know, Bucky’s mind was already trying to formulate a plan. Even though they weren’t married yet, or even really in a relationship… Yet. Bucky still wanted to take care of her. She was his, and he was hers.

“Did your parents never take you to do things like that?” Steve asked her, and her face fell.

She knew the topic would eventually come up, she had just hoped to avoid it a while longer. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed on his face, noticing the change in her attitude.

“Uhm,” She cleared her throat, “No.. My mom passed away when I was 13. And dad.. He doesn’t really do much.” She had hoped that would be enough, but judging by the looks on their faces.. More questions would follow.

“Is he still gambling?” Bucky asked her, lowering his voice a bit. Steve let out a soft sigh, looking at the pizza. He was already aware of her mother, he paid for the funeral.

“Yep..” Katherine popped her lips with the word, a crisp ‘P’ sound coming from them.

Bucky shifted in his seat, his once happy tone seeming to have changed. It seemed as if gears were turning in his head.

“Katherine,” he looked to her, reaching his metallic hand a bit closer towards her, “I have a feeling that I’ve been lied to.. And that your situation isn’t what it should be.. Is he not treating you well?”

She shifted her eyes away from him, not daring to meet his icy blue orbs. She never knew the exact details of the deal between her father and Bucky, but she was aware enough to know that Bucky had indeed been lied to. The familiar feeling of anxiety began to itch its way towards the surface, her arms instinctively wrapping around her middle. This was it.. This was the moment Bucky would decide he didn’t want her anymore, because she wasn’t what was promised. She had a memory of hearing her dad on the phone with someone.. ‘No. She didn’t make the grades, she’s not going to college.’ Which had been a complete lie. Katherine’s High School transcript showed straight A’s. She wanted to go to college, she had been accepted to 3 different schools. She remembered her father telling her that she had to get a second job, so they wouldn’t lose the house, and that paying for college would’ve been a waste of time. If only she had realized back then, what was truly going on.

Bucky let out a huff of air, leaning back in his seat, contemplating his next words. She didn’t even have to answer him, for him to know that her life wasn’t great. Steve had told him about the small amount of luggage she had, and Annette told him that it was mostly work clothes. For two different jobs. Needless to say, Bucky was upset.

“Hey, Buck?” Steve’s voice sounded, grabbing the attention of both silent parties, “They’re closing up shop. It’s almost nine o’clock..”

Katherine looked around the restaurant, realizing that Steve was correct. The workers had begun cleaning, and setting chairs on top of tables. Which meant the three of them had been there for nearly 4 hours. She couldn’t remember a time where she was actually able to spend that long just talking, and enjoying some company. The anxiety had started to cloud her eyes, her leg bouncing underneath the table. Just then, her phone started buzzing in her pocket. It was Sage, of course. There wasn’t anyone else who would call her.

“You need to take that?” Bucky’s voice snapped her out of her daze.

“Oh,” she chuckled softly, pulling her phone out, “It’s Sage, my best friend.” She raised her phone, showing him Sages face, “She’s not the most patient person..”

“Go ahead. I’ll take care of the check.” He offered a small, tight lipped smile.

She nodded to him, before getting up to leave the table. She gave both men a small, polite smile, before walking out the door of the restaurant. She was still in perfect view of the men, which is probably the only reason why they didn’t follow her. She chuckled, realizing that Sage was video calling her.

“Before you start yelling at me..”

Sage let out a long, dramatic groan, “Okay fine.”

Katherine chuckled softly, pacing up and down the sidewalk next to the car they were using, “You interrupted dinner actually.”

“It’s almost nine!!”

“We went to a pizza place, and got lost in conversation.” Katherine shrugged, her eyes glancing into the building to see that the two men were still seated, “Since when did I ever just… Talk?”

“Like, to a guy? Never. You suck at flirting.” Sage retorted, chuckling.

Katherine shook her head, “No, not like.. Flirting. Just.. Talking. It was really nice actually..” She gently kicked the concrete with the top of her shoe, “We laughed, smiled, had a great evening..”

“But?”

She let out a sigh, “But then we got onto the topic of my father, and now my anxiety is all over the place. I guess you might’ve saved me.”

Sage was silent for a moment. She knew that the conversation was probably very uncomfortable for Katherine.

“Well.. what did he say?”

Katherine hummed softly, “He asked if I was treated well.. Then you called. So, thanks for saving me from that explanation.” She let out a breathless chuckle, not realizing that the men were heading outside.

“He needs to know.” Sage said, shrugging her shoulders.

“He will.. I just.. Don’t think it’s best for the first day.”

Sage let out a breath, “When do you think I might get to meet your future beloved?”

Katherine let out a laugh, before realizing Steve and Bucky were walking towards her. She unconsciously began to chew her lower lip, a tint of pink spreading on her cheeks. “Uhm…”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, a small on his lips as he walked towards her. He glanced at her phone, sliding his hands into his pants pockets. “Is this her?” He asked softly, Katherine nodding in response.

Sage heard the voice, both of her eyebrows quirking upwards. “Is that him??”

Katherine rolled her eyes at the two, deciding to just move the phone to where Sage could see Bucky as well. He raised a hand to wave at her, a cute grin on his face.

“Hiya.”

Sage nodded her head, “Hi yourself, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky looked to Katherine, wondering what they had been talking about, but he knew it wasn’t his place to push it.

“I was asking Katie when she thinks I might get to meet you. I’d like to know the man who will be taking care of my best friend.. You will be taking care of her, right?”

Katherine’s eyes were daggers, staring at Sage through the phone.

Bucky let out a soft chuckle, the sound sending a chill through her body, “Yes of course I will be. And,” he sent Katherine a sweet grin, “Whenever Katherine would like, you are welcome whenever. I can send a car to get you tomorrow if you’d like.”

Katherine’s eyes widened, a grin spreading on her lips, “Really..?”

Bucky nodded, “Well, yeah. I’m not going to keep you from anyone. Like I said, what’s mine is now yours. That applies to you wanting to have guests over.”

Steve opened the door for them, signaling that it was time to go. Bucky placed his hand on the small of Katherine’s back, leading her into the car.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Sagey! I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Katherine hummed, giving her friend a smile as she got into the car, Bucky sliding in after her.

“Sounds good to me! Love you bunches!”

“I love you too.” She returned the words, before ending the call.

“She seems fun.”

Katherine’s eyes looked at Bucky, who seemed to be holding in a laugh. She glanced towards the front, Steve seeming to be doing the same. Soon though, Katherine began to laugh, Steve and Bucky letting out their laughter as well.

“Yeah, yeah.. She’s uhm.. She can be a lot, sometimes.” Katherine grinned, “She just worries about me..” She let out a soft sigh, “Besides dad, she’s really all I have.”

Bucky’s expression softened, hearing her words. He glanced towards Steve, who was focused on driving now. He hesitantly reached for her hand with his flesh one, gently capturing her soft skin. He offered a kind smile.

“You have me now.”

Katherine looked to his eyes, only to find they were already peering into her own. She didn’t flinch away from the contact, finding that even though his hand was a bit rough.. It was also quite warm.

“And me!” Steve shouted to them, making both Bucky and Katherine chuckle.

Her lips curved up into a small smile, nodding her head to Bucky. “You’re right.”

The remainder of the car ride was spent in silence. Bucky’s hand still gently holding onto Katherine’s, both of them lost deep in their thoughts. It wasn’t an awkward silence though, Katherine was actually quite comfortable. Her eyes gazed out the car window as the car came to a stop, the big house towering over them. She noticed, though, a man standing at the base of the steps. It was someone she thought she had recognized.. She was snapped out of her daze, when she realized Bucky’s hand was in front of her, him having opened the door for her.

“Come on.” He smiled, as Katherine took his hand.

“Thank you.” She said, getting up and out of the car.

Bucky gently held her hand, moving her hand to rest on the inside of his arm, as they walked up towards the house. Steve walked up next to them, eyeing the man as they approached.

“Mr. Stark..” Bucky’s voice greeted him, no particular emotion in his voice.

Katherine looked towards the man, curiously, but she could feel Bucky bring her closer to him. She realized who the man was; He was rather famous. At least, in New York. He was a VIP wherever he went.. Geneous, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.

“Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers.” The man had his arms crossed on his chest, an eyebrow quirking up when his eyes laid on Katherine, “And who is this?”

She was about to give him her name, but Bucky’s words were first, “My girl.”

Katherine felt her cheeks heat up, she was sure that everyone else could see it as well. Did he really just introduce her… As his girl? Something about the words made butterflies dance in the pit of her stomach. In reality, it was true.. They hadn’t actually spoken about it, but that was the deal.

“Ah, so it’s true.” Mr. Stark let out a soft huff of air, “When's the wedding? I’ll have to send a gift.”

Katherine tensed under the man’s gaze, instinctively trying to hide in Bucky’s side. Her eyes met Steve’s, and it seemed that he sensed her discomfort. Bucky must have as well, because he removed her hand from his arm, and draped his arm around her shoulders.

“There’s no date yet, I’ll let you know.” Bucky let out a sigh, “What can I do for ya, Tony? We’re just getting back.. You can wait in my office for me.”

His eyes stayed on Katherine for a long moment, before nodding his head towards Bucky, “Business as per usual. I’ll be waiting.”

Steve opened the door, Tony walking in and headed towards Bucky’s office. Steve followed him, as if he always did. Bucky walked with Katherine, his arm still around her as he led her up to her bedroom. They stopped at her door, Bucky letting out a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry, Katherine. I had hoped to be able to spend more time with you tonight.. But duty calls.”

Katherine offered him a small smile, “It’s alright.. Thank you for dinner. I had a really great time tonight.”

Bucky’s lips curved into a grin, “Me too, doll.”

“Will I see you before the end of the night?” She asked, actually a bit hopeful that he might say yes.

His arm fell from around her, his hand raising to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, their eyes locked on each other. He kept his grin, “Of course. Let’s just hope this meeting doesn’t last forever.. Tony talks a lot.”

Katherine chuckled a bit, “Well, you have fun with that.”

They both laughed softly, not seeming to really want to leave. Katherine let out a soft sigh, turning to open her bedroom door. Bucky started to walk off, but found himself looking back at her, a smile on his lips. Katherine returned the smile, before going into her room.

The rest of her night was pretty.. Calm. She had unpacked her clothes, which took up almost no space in her closet. She video called Sage for a bit, before deciding to take a shower. She stood under the hot beams of water for a while, just relaxing. Her mind wouldn’t stop though.. Her thoughts were completely consumed by Bucky. She tried her best to not think about the rumors and stories she’d heard about him, forming her own opinion. He had been nothing but kind to her, and she genuinely enjoyed his presence. His smile made her weak at the knees, and his laugh was contagious. She never thought that it would be this easy to like the man she was promised to. Though, she was sure that this might just be a fluke, only being the first day. As she got out of the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror. She sighed softly as she brushed her teeth, and went through the usual nightly routine. She decided that pajamas were calling for her, as well as her bed.. She looked at the time on her phone. Bucky had been in the meeting for almost three hours. She let out a breath, as she pulled her oversized t-shirt on. Just as she sat on her bed, she received a text.

‘Something else had come up, during the meeting.. I’m afraid I might not make it up to see you, before you go to bed. Don’t wait up, I’ll see you in the morning.’

Katherine read the words, and actually felt.. A bit sad that she wouldn’t see him. Regardless, he was a busy man. She didn’t even know what all he did, being the head of the mob. She replied to his text pretty directly.

‘It’s alright, I understand. I’m going to read for a while, before I actually go to bed.’

She pulled up a book on her phone, going to where she last left off. Her eyes were soon glued to the words, as she snuggled into the bed. Which was the most comfortable bed she’d ever felt. Soon, her mind was completely divulged into the fantasy world she read about. She almost stopped thinking about him, but of course her mind decided to play tricks.

She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, having read a few chapters of her book. But the sound of her bedroom door opening, stirred her a bit. She rolled over in the bed, attempting to pull apart her heavy eyelids.

“Shh, doll. It’s just me..”

Bucky.

She could hear him moving around her room, and felt that he touched the bed. He had taken her phone, putting it on the phone charger and setting it on the nightstand. Katherine managed to get her eyes open, a small smile spreading across her lips.

“Hi..” her voice was soft, very obviously sleepy.

A low rumble of a chuckle passed his lips, as he leaned over the bed. He tucked some hair behind her ear, like before. She could feel his breath on her face, and her drowsy mind wanted her to pull him closer.

“Bucky…” She hummed out his name, leaning her head into his hand.

“I’m just checking on you.. Get some sleep, alright? We’ll have breakfast in the morning, and can talk then.” His voice was quiet, soft and velvety smooth.

She hummed in response, slowly nodding her head towards him. She wanted to be wide awake. She wanted to stay up with him, talking, seeing that smile.. But she was already so tired, and laid comfortably in her bed. She managed to keep her eyes open long enough, to see that he was looking at her.

In a sleepy daze, her voice sounded out to him, “My girl?” She asked him, though not really having intended to do so.

He smiled at her, nodding his head, “Gotta make sure the world knows it. Can’t have anyone trying to come in and sweep you away from me..”

Those were the last words she heard, before she settled back into the bed, falling asleep.

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #james buchanan bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky #au bucky barnes #female oc #bucky barnes x female #bucky fic #marvel bucky barnes #bucky barnes story #mob boss bucky barnes #mob bucky au #SplendidReads Open Your Heart

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unoriginalmess · 4 years ago

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A Second Mask: Chapter 4

Did that just happen?

Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:

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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!

He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.

When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.

The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.

•••

Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.

It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.

Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.

•••

Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.

She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)

She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.

"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.

"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.

When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.

(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)

"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"

At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."

She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."

"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.

"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.

Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"

Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"

On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?

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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.

I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.

As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Taglist

@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu

#a second mask #feralnette #feralnette au #felinette #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #adrien agreste #felix culpa #marinette dupain cheng #here it finally is #idk why some of the tags arent working

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owl232 · 4 years ago

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Bakugo Katsuki Hybrid Au Short

Pt One.

————————————

A/n: This is my first short on here. I hope you all enjoy :) I accept constructive criticism or tips for later posts, and suggestions.

Female reader insert

Slow burnish?

—

Bakugo was a feisty wolf-dog mix. He’s been through many homes, just to end up back in the shelter. Owners always complained of him being aggressive and ruining things no matter what they did trying to train him.

You were just a lonely person who wanted to find a good friend to share your home with. You had a large back yard and a spare bedroom and plenty of money to spare on someone other than yourself.

You felt nervous entering the shelter. You’d never had a hybrid before and didn’t know anyone personally who had one, but your friends said it was a good idea if you really wanted one. Owning a hybrid seemed kind of odd to you. After all, they were pretty much like humans, just with some different traits. You’ve heard stories about how bad they get treated and came to the conclusion that you wanted to share your home with one and give them the proper care they deserve.

You were lead around by an employee who took you to where the hybrids were. Entering the room was a bit overwhelming with all the noise of hybrids. You felt your stomach drop seeing the small cages the hybrids were put in. They didn’t even seem like there was enough room for them to comfortably sit, let alone stand.

After looking around for a while and still not have chosen one, you felt as though you were being too picky with your choices, but to be fair, you didn’t really feel connected to any of the hybrids.

You started thinking about how you should stop being so stubborn and just choose one. None of them seemed to be even a remotely bad choice anyways. Most were friendly while others just kept to themselves. But then you saw him.

His blonde hair sticking up every which way, his face in a hard glare and his ears flat against his head.

Just how he presented himself caught your attention. Aggressive and defensive. Unlike any of the other hybrids in this place.

Walking over to him, he kept his eyes trained on you the whole time, his lip twitching, a quiet growl working it’s way from his throat. Looking at the name tag on the cage, it read Bakugo Katsuki.

A small smile formed on your face, you scanned around looking for an employee and then nice spotting one, you waved them over.

“Uh are you sure you want this one? He’s known to be a bit…Aggressive.” The worker whispered to you, earning a growl from the blonde male.

Your smile falters slightly, but quickly went back. “Yes, I’d love to.”

After filling out some paperwork, it was finally time to head home with your new companion. Bakugo had a leash on and it was being held by a man who was standing as far away from him as he could, acting as if he had a disease.

Thanking the workers, you take the leash and smile at Bakugo, who still has a scowl on his face. “Let’s go home!” You say and turn, walking out of the building and to your car, making sure that the boy was following so you don’t pull on the leash by accident.

The drive home was mostly quiet, besides you trying to friendly chat with the hybrid. You had explained to Bakugo all about his new home and where he would be sleeping, along with any other information you thought could be useful for him to know. The whole time he just kept looking out the window not speaking a single word.

Arriving home, you shut off the car and walk up to the house. Bakugo seemed to be on edge the whole time, just silently following. Once you’ve both entered, you turned to him with a smile.

“Well, this is our home. I know it might not be the best, but it definitely has enough room for you to have your own space and do what you want.” You unclip his collar, having to stand on your tip toes to reach, and set it on the coffee table.

“Don’t call it ‘our home’ it’s not like I’m going to be here long anyways.” Bakugo grunts, crossing his arms across his chest, staring at the wall.

“What makes you say that? Do you….not want to live here?” You say worriedly. You hoped that he would like you and your home. Perhaps he didn’t. “Is there something wrong?”

“Don’t play dumb. Go do whatever it is your humans do. I don’t want to talk to you.” He says and leaves, going off to find his room.

You frown and just stand there, watching him stomp away. Maybe he just needs some time alone? This is a new place for him after all, maybe it’s overwhelming.

You just hoped he would warm up to you soon enough.

#mha x y/n #boku no hero #class 1a #bnha #mha #bakugou katsuki #Bakugo #bakugo katsuki #hybrid #hybrid au #mha hybrid au #bnha hybrid au #mha au #my hero academia #bakugo x you #bakugo x self insert #bakugo x y/n

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cah0mie · 4 years ago

Note

Since the Brothers are assholes (yes, Beel included since he wanted to eat you and didn’t care for your presence at first) when you first meet them, how about they deal with an MC that’s not gonna deal with their bullshit and isn’t phased by their threats? I hate it when otome games have you deal with jerks in the beginning but the choice bubbles are too nice whenever they insult the player.

Yeah, Yeah; They’re the top 7 demons of hell who don’t have to respect a human and are able to kill me with no effort but I don’t give a damn about that. You can’t drop me in hell with 7 assholes without my consent and expect me to be fine with it. I’m more than fine with calling em out and if they try and threaten MC, they would flat out say “At least I’ll die calling you out 🌚”

I like the way you think my guy. I couldn't agree more

To all my MCs that were much Harsher in the Beginning

-----

Mammon: Now listen here human! I was put in charge of you! In other words you have to do exactly as I say-!

MC: Shut the hell up... *Rubs temples* You're so loud.

Mammon: Wha- Who do you thi-!!

MC: Look dude. I don't really give a fuck who you are or what you could do. You really think I like the situation anymore than you do? I didn't fucking ask for an invitation, nobody even gave me a warning. So suck it up, and shut up. Cause we can't do shit now.

Mammon: I could eat you WHOLE right now!

MC: Be my guest. It'd be better then having to deal with this horse shit.

Mammon: .... What kind of human are you?

-one week later-

Levi: It seems like you're trying to suck up to me so I'll like you. It's no use denying it, I heard it straight from Lucifer.

MC: Oh nooooo, I'm caught. Whatever shall I do?

Levi: You're lucky to have so much free time too think up schemes like this. As much as I'd like to sit and watch a TSL marathon, I can't. There's so many animes I need to watch, trading cards to organize, figurines-

MC: Back the fuck up.

Levi: Eh?

MC: You're telling me you can't do what you want, cause you NEED to watch all these other shows and other shit? Bullcrap! These things are not necessities!! You can go on living without this shit! Do what the fuck you want! If you want to complain, do it in your head! Cause you have no one to blame but yourself.

Levi: You're actually treating ME like this!? You Normies, always rubbing it in that-

MC: And here you are, acting like a child. Do you ever take responsibility for your own actions? Always saying how unfair things are. News Flash! Life isn't fucking fair!

Levi: I could-!!

MC: Eat me? Smite me? Make me feel things I wish I didn't? Fucking go for it dude, I'm so fucking over it.

Levi: ...... Forget this, I have better things to do....

-a day or so later-

Lucifer: You should focus on surviving this year here, finishing the exchange program and going back to the human world. "Curiosity killed the cat". Curiosity can very literally get you killed here as well.

MC: Hey Lucifer, has it ever occurred to you that just maybe.... I DON'T CARE.

Lucifer: You're telling me that you don't value your life?

MC: No, I'm just telling you that I haven't been here long and I'm already over the whole, "I am above you" thing. You yourself, aren't willing to put a scratch on me since you're a fucking lapdog to his majesty.

Lucifer: You rotten-!!

MC: Save it dude, ya ain't gonna do shit. Hell, ya don't even know what my life may have been like before y'all kidnapped me. For all you know, this is everyday life for me.

Lucifer: .....What would you do if a lower level demon ever got their hands on you?

MC: Number one, you wouldn't let that shit happen in the first place. Number two, I'd just fucking let it happen. They probably have a better out for me than you guys.

Lucifer: ..... You petty and ungrateful creature.

MC: *shrugs* Truth hurts doesn't bitch?

-a week later-

Beel: You ate my creme puff, it had my name on it!

MC: You destroyed my wall and injured me. I think we're pretty even.

Beel: No we're not! Give it back!

MC: ...... If you're THAT fucking determined wait a few hours it'll come back.

Beel: That's disgusting.

MC: You kept fucking pushing it. Your own damn fault. Look, I'm an ass for eating you food, but you really are overreacting this is ridiculous.

Beel: It was my food!!

MC: ..... We're just going in circles at this point....

-a week later-

MC: Yo, fucklust! Ya mind not standing in front of the camera every fucking time!?

Asmo: But wouldn't you rather have a picture of something beautiful?

MC: I would. All the more reason for you to get the fuck out of my way!

Asmo: ... Are you saying, I'm not beautiful? Are you actually insulting ME?

MC: 'Oh how dare you! You hurt my feelings and called me out on shit! I shall kill you now!' If that's not petty, I don't know what is..

Asmo: .... You're not very nice.

MC: Like any of you have room to talk

-two days later-

Satan: Are you actually rejecting ME!? You!? A mere human!?

MC: Oh, cut the shit!! Satan! Why the flying FUCK would I make a pact with you! I'm making pacts to gain Lucifer's respect, NOT PISS HIM OFF MORE!!

Satan: Does it look like a I care!? I said to do it!

MC: And I said to fuck off! I'm not going through with this Satan!

Satan: I will cut of your nose and ears. Rip off your arms and legs. And feed you to a lower level demon!!

MC: Fucking go for it dude, I don't give a damn anymore. You lot are impossible to talk sense to, and this here proves it.

Satan: Don't you dare trifle with me!

MC: Y'all are just toddlers who cry when things don't go your way!

-when mc goes back in time-

Belphie: Aaww.. You don't know want a hug? Shame, I was hoping to share my happiness with you..

MC: Yeah, I'm sure you did

Belphie: What does that mean?

MC: I mean, you never did plan on walking out of this together, did you? You had always planned on taking me out and walking away yourself.

Belphie: ...... If you'd known that, why did you help me?

MC: Number one, THIS *gestures to door* was an ACCIDENT. Number two, I may or may not have made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it. Number three, Beel misses you so much. How can I not? So let's just walk away from this together and join the rest of the-!

Belphie: *starts choking the life out of them*

MC: Or just kill me, get it over with, and I won't have to bother with any of you anymore.

Belphie: With pleasure.

-When MC encounters Belphie once again in the time loop-

Belphie: How can a human have such a strong will to live.

MC: Because I am determined to tell each and every one of you how fucking stupid you all are.

-----------

This is a lot longer than I intended it to be. I'm sorry I still don't know how to place the keep reading button (or whatever it is). I had quite a bit of fun writing this, I hope you have just as much fun reading it 😁

I accept all forms of constructive criticism, so if you see anything you feel could be better let me know.

#obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me shenanigans #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x y/n #obey me x mc #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x you

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petitfanboy · 4 years ago

Text

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed.

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text.

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories.

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed.

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji. As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later. In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT. Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally. It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her. Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach. We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet.

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did.

We have talked about this before.

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here.

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy.

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always. This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

#Evangelion #Rebuild of Evangelion #Shin Evangelion #asuka shikinami langley #Shinji Ikari #asushin #asuka x shinji #shinji x asuka #las #everybody finds love in the end #thrice upon a time #evangelion 3.0+1.0 #Asuka and shinji will meet in all evangelion universes

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sconnie-doesnt-know · 4 years ago

Text

So Wrong

Characters: Lee Bodecker, Reader, Jane Bodecker, assorted OCs, also gonna go ahead and say Lee is kinda soft/dark in this one

Word Count: 8000

Warnings: Infidelity, alcohol usage, smoking, somewhat dub-con sexual stuff, but not really

Summary: The Reader is a young single mother and widow new to the town of Meade. She gets drawn into a social circle that includes the Sheriff’s wife, while also being drawn to the Sheriff himself.

A/n: I truly don’t know where this came from or why I wrote it. I watched TDATT and suddenly this whole thing just popped into my head complete with a Patsy Cline soundtrack. There’s infidelity on Lee’s part, and his wife is terrible, and these are fictional characters so I am trying to not feel guilty for making that happen.

There’s more to this story, probably extending into 1 or 2 more parts. I don’t know what to say for myself, I cannot pwp. Feedback and constructive criticism are welcome. Not beta-read, so please let me know if there’s an error.

Hope you enjoy!

Meade is as good a place as any to settle. Surrounded by wilderness and small towns, it’s quiet, far from anyplace and anyone you know. A welcome adventure and a place to dispose of your grief, finally - hopefully.

You pull up on a quiet street and sit there just a moment to breathe, to look at the life you had that is settled in between the few boxes and suitcases of belongings, the folded up flag, and the little boy you buckled into the seat.

Through a tangled web of connections, you are able to rent a little upper duplex apartment from the widow in town. She claims she doesn’t mind a little noise as your son stomps up the stairs and gives you an open invitation to join her at church on Sundays.

It is six days into your new residence, the first Monday in town when the apparent welcoming committee shows up at your door. She wears a gentle smile on her face and presents you with a warm pie still wrapped in cloth.

“My name is Jane Bodecker, my husband’s the Sheriff. I wanted to introduce myself…”

You know the routine after moving around a few times already. You imagine the conspiring during the luncheon after church yesterday, the ladies munching on dry cookies and deciding who would be the first to talk to you.

You nod and smile, and accept the offering.

“Some of us like to get together to play cards and socialize on Tuesdays, it would be nice to have you join us and let us get to know you.”

Of course she means that they are chomping at the bit to know why a single woman with no family ties has moved into town. You’re familiar with the ritual and know you need to go along if you want to make it work in this place.

You return her smile, “That would be so kind of you, as long as you don’t mind my son coming along.” You gesture to the little boy hiding in your skirts behind you.

“Of course he can. He can play with my boy, Robert. We will see you at two.” She leaves you with her address and directions over, telling you to look for the house with the red shutters.

Their house is in one of the newer, more developed parts, with some manufactured homes lining the street and looking boxy compared to the traditional farmhouses, but it's charming. The red shutters stand out, that’s for certain. It doesn’t take long to figure out that Jane is a proud host, head of the gossip chain, and is required to mention “My husband, the Sheriff” at least once per conversation.

You let the ladies ask their questions and nod politely as they give you the required chorus of condolences. You feel the shift when Jane steers the conversation to what they all want to know. “Now, I don’t mean to spread gossip, but some folks were wondering why you rented a place here instead of goin’ home to your family.”

Your shoulders stiffen, ‘so much for not putting me on the spot’ you think, but you still smile politely as you answer. “I have no other family. My daddy was gone when I was a girl and my momma dropped me off with an aunt and uncle when she was with husband number three and I don’t know where she is. They said it was the first thing she did that made a lick of sense,” you try to joke. “Well, they didn’t exactly approve of me and Jimmy, so when we married they told me not to go back.”

“And the boy’s other kin?”

“Ain’t no other kin. Jimmy’s family was small, they’re gone now.”

“Well, ain’t you a tragedy,” she says in a chirpy, high voice.

Your face tightens and you stare at your lap, “We get by,” you weakly mutter.

They all assure you that they have some nice gentlemen they can introduce to you, and go on about how fortunate you are they are pulling you into their group. You hear about faceless people and their minor transgressions, but get bored with it fairly quickly and use the time to look over the Bodecker home. It’s nice, a mixture of modest and a few state-of -the-art updates. There’s more dust than you expect, the sofa cushions look worn down, with only a few photos on display. The sheriff’s face shrouded in shadows in the one you can see, but you figure their son must take after him since he doesn’t have the pinched look his mother seems to naturally have.

You don’t even meet ‘her husband, the Sheriff’ until your third Tuesday afternoon of cards at their home. Jane herself is practically giving a campaign speech since the election so close. You never paid a lot of attention to local politics, and you try to give her your attention, but when she starts to ramble on it’s just too much. You happen to look to the side to avoid rolling your eyes and catch just when he strolls in, as if on cue with the uniform all perfectly in place. He scans the group of women until he stops on you, eyes lighting up with interest.

Your own breath catches in your throat at the sight of him as he removes his hat and looks you over.

“Well,” he drawls, “You must be the sweet new thing that’s got all the fellas in town rioting.”

You have to look down, lest the embarrassment make you combust.

“Now, Lee,” Jane scolds, “That’s no way to say hello. Come over here and introduce yourself properly.” She guides him over, and you almost say it with her when she recites, “This is my husband, the Sheriff.”

“Apologies, miss. I know you aren’t trying to get them all riled. Janey told me ‘bout your husband. War is Hell, shame to be losing boys like that.”

He holds his hand out to shake yours, his hold firm and warm and you are hesitant to let go.

“I appreciate that, thank you, Sheriff. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” he nods, eyes flicking over you one more time. “What are your plans in this lovely town of ours?”

“Oh. Well,” you freeze up for a moment, it’s the first time someone’s asked and you don’t have your answer prepared. “Well, I was thinking that I would get a job. We get by right now, but once my boy is in school, I would like something else to do.”

Jane jumps on your answer, “Let’s just see if we can’t find you a bachelor around here. Plenty of boys can use someone to take care of ‘em, but if you want a man who will be home on time, you stay away from any of the deputies. I can’t remember the last time Lee wasn’t busy with something or other from the county. I suppose that’s the life we’ve chosen though, isn’t it?”

Her voice sounds overly sweet, but you can sense the daggers in her words. It’s the way he reacts, shifting on his feet and rolling his jaw like he’s annoyed. Jane doesn’t even pay attention to anything but the cards in her hand. Some of the other ladies nod, but the sheriff just lowers his head before he pulls Jane to the side to talk to her quietly.

You track his movements, fascinated until you shake yourself out of it. It’s been years since you felt like that or even saw a man that caught your attention - not since Jimmy. It’s alarming, unnerving.

The wave of guilt that washes over you is more than you can handle.

“Please excuse me, but we must be going.” You get up without waiting for any response and practically yank your son right out of the house as Jane calls after you that she will see you again soon.

You brush off the incident after having some time to think, convinced that it is just because you were caught off guard, and try to go on as normally as you can.

Your days end up filled with social calls, running errands or helping your landlady, and keeping your son busy. He asks to play with the Bodecker boy nearly every day, but you try your best to keep your distance when you can, especially when she starts trying to arrange dates for you even when you politely decline.

You look at the other ladies sometimes and wonder how many of them are just tolerating her the way you do. There’s just something grating about the way her voice goes especially nasally when she has something not-very-Christian to say, or the way she talks so openly and obscenely about the apparent whorehouse in town. She doesn’t even seem the least bit shameful when she begins to complain about her sister-in-law and the trouble she gets up to despite her brother being the sheriff.

Sheriff Bodecker, on the other hand, is a bit more friendly than you anticipated, expecting him to be cold or rude, but usually he’s the one pushing his wife to extend a coffee or supper invitation your way and making small talk when you are still around when he gets home from work or if he catches you around town. Your own mind suspects that it’s maybe just a sense of civic duty to know his neighbors, but it’s nice to have company nonetheless.

Conversation with him comes easily. He talks with you about interesting news stories, about the boys, about some of the other towns, and even plans for the county. It’s interesting, not just debate on whether the new curtains chosen by someone or other are tacky. There are times you get lost talking with him and need to be corralled back in by Jane or Steven getting antsy.

The way he draws your eye is a mixture of curiosity and interest. It makes you notice when he’s driving the patrol car or when you see him around town. You catch how tired he seems at the end of the days, how he’s usually got a piece of candy to slip to kids when they come by and are brave enough to ask. You notice how he knows everyone in town and seems to have an eye on everything, checking in at the shops and breaking up the young men when they start to roughhouse.

In a place like this, Jane Bodecker is far from the only gossiper in town, so while she might not share much about herself or her husband, plenty of others do. Some of the things they say are just nitpicking and you try to drown it out. They’ve been decent to you since your arrival, but it’s hard to ignore the constant whispers of how power went right to their heads.

When the election is over and she gets the right to continue to say “My husband, the Sheriff” you start to really see what they say. She loses the facade of playing the good wife, but still hosts her weekly card meetings to keep up to date. Instead of just coffee and tea, she starts slipping sips of whiskey and gives her opinion a bit more freely than before, and often hurling insults anywhere they can land.

It’s painful to watch her put down everyone, but especially the sheriff when he gets in her way. When you catch him sending a frustrated look at her turned back or rolling his eyes at her complaints about the town and its people, you pretend not to notice and remember to keep a smile on. Her outbursts get more and more unhinged and brazen, and the defeat and exhaustion in his stance makes you ache. There’s a hurt you can’t vocalize without overstepping, but it eats at you, chips at your patience bit by bit.

When the sheriff pulls the cruiser over one day while you’re walking between stores to say hi and make some small talk, you’re pleased. He seems less worn down, it’s nice to see.

“Oh, Sheriff, you’ve got some good timing,” you reach into one of your shopping bags, pulling out a paper bag of hard candies you bought from the candy shop. “While doing the washing, I found a handful of wrappers. Turns out the boys were getting into your candy stash. Thought you might need a refill.”

You hand him the bag and the smile he gives you in return makes your chest tighten up and ache.

“Sweet things from a sweet thing, thank you darlin’.”

You bit down on your lips, desperate to not react to his flirtatious words. “It’s nothin’, Sheriff.”

“Not to me.”

You start to sway from foot to foot, looking down at the sidewalk with a hum and trying to come up with something else to say. Silence hangs in the air for a moment before his radio crackles with a call from the station. You take the opportunity to make your exit.

“I’ll be seeing you, Sheriff.”

He shoots a glare at the radio, but looks back at you with what you could only describe as longing. “Sure will, Sweets.” Usually something like that would sound condescending, but from him it sounds endearing. He winks and pulls the car away, talking to the dispatcher while he drives.

‘Sweets...sweet thing...darlin’’ his voice repeats over and over in your head, fingers trembling and clumsy with the rush they give you and the way your heart races.

You get nearly sick when you recognize the feelings you’re having. It’s like it was when you were first with Jimmy. When you couldn’t even look him in the eyes because you felt too overwhelmed by your feelings for him. When you flushed and overheated when he got close and said pretty things. When you used to hold onto his hand and promise yourself that you would care for him every day and prove your love to him.

That’s when you realize you’re coveting another woman’s husband.

It’s Thursday, which means you need to head down to Main Street to visit the pharmacy for your landlady, Mrs. Martins, and gather some groceries for the week. You had made plans with Jane to let the boys play together while you took ran errands. You don’t have a good excuse to change the plan, but you can’t help but ask again, “You sure you don’t mind him being here?”

“Not at all,” she smiles, a bit wider and more manic than usual, “Now if that handsome Wilford boy happens to ask you for supper, don’t you worry about rushin’ back, ya hear?”

You laugh at her latest unsubtle attempt, “I will keep it in mind, thanks.” She and a few others had started to meddle, putting eligible bachelors in your path and setting up dates on your behalf. You do try. You talk to them, let them flirt, but none hold your interest. They’re boys - lanky and lean, still all reckless and rowdy. Not what you’re looking for, nothing like the solid, filled-out figure of a man, someone secure and stable and in a uniform. But that’s something to think about another day.

Wilford does indeed ask.

You do not feel so inclined to take up the offer, especially when he pinches the round of your ass as he asks you to consider dessert before any supper.

He has you pressed against the wall outside the hardware store, letting the sun blind you and bring tears to your eyes as the bricks snag the delicate threads of your dress.

He only backs away when a loud voice booms out, “There a problem here, son?”

He turns his head to find Lee pulled to the side of the road, window down and arm resting on the frame, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

“No sir, Sheriff, just makin’ some supper plans, ain’t we?” Wilford looks back at you with a leer. Your hands press flat against the building and your knee twitches with the urge to jerk up and hurt him.

“I thought we were expecting you tonight, isn’t that right?” Lee asks you pointedly.

Your attacker looks back at Lee, then to you, and you nod. Finally, you’re given some space.

“I imagine you need to be moving along then?” Lee checks, waiting impatiently for Wilford to answer.

“Yessir.” He gives you a wicked grin and spins away to go back down the street. “Maybe another time when you’re free.”

You shake your head, eyes narrowed at his back as you glare.

Lee taps the side of the cruiser, “C’mere.”

You take a shaky breath and gather yourself with a nod before taking the few steps across the sidewalk. Leaning down you take a moment to look him over in his uniform, the badge gleaming in the sunshine and eyes clear blue as the sky.

“You alright, Sweets?” he asks, voice low and gentle. He’d taken to calling you that since the candy incident, always in that same tone - like it’s precious and important. The way it hits you right in the center of your chest hurts more than the physical damage done a moment ago. You know he isn’t asking if your heart is aching, or if you’re alright being lonely, or any of the ways you’re feeling it right now, but it strikes you in an unexpected way.

“I’m fine,” you smile tightly, “Thank you for checking.”

“These boys just don’t know how to handle themselves when they see a pretty lady.” Your cheeks ache as you try to keep from beaming at the off-hand comment. “Ya know, I’m getting ready to head on home, you need a ride that way? I’m guessing your boy is stirrin’ up some shit with mine?” He turns and scans the road and sidewalk around you, fidgeting a bit as he asks.

“I still have to make another stop and my car is at the end of the block, but thank you.” You stand up.

“Well, I mean it, you and Steven stay for supper tonight, I’ll square it with Jane.”

“You don’t hav’ta do that-”

“No worries, darlin’.” He winks, taps his fingers on the shell of the door by the painted logo and waits until you nod in agreement. “See you soon, then.” And with a nod he pulls off the curb.

You watch the cruiser drive away, then look up and down the street, but no one else is there. You finally manage to draw in a full breath, and rush to get to the cool air of the pharmacy to ease the flush burning you from the inside out.

You make it back to the Bodecker’s before the sheriff, glad to have a few moments to smooth things over with Jane since she clearly had not expected you to turn down the date she arranged for you.

“He wasn’t too much of a handful, was he? I told him before I left that he better mind you today.”

She waves you off, sitting back down at the table with her abandoned cigarette in the tray and a small glass of brown liquor.

“Well, the boys’ll sleep tonight, that’s for sure. They’ve been running circles round the whole damn house.” She ashes the cigarette before taking another puff and settling against the backrest of the chair.

You take a moment to look over the kitchen, a pot is just about to boil over so you make your way to it. “Can I help you out with anything? Give you a moment to freshen up ‘fore Lee gets home?”

“I suppose that’s the least you can do.” Her cheeks draw in another puff and she hums, taking her glass with her as she goes to their bedroom.

The boys run inside, breathless and sweaty, both shouting while they tell you about a nest they found outside before you order them off to get washed up themselves. You look down the hall, waiting to see if Jane was on her way back or if she was expecting you to finish her cooking. Rather than let it burn, you do just that, taking care of the potatoes, adding a few seasonings as you go, and pulling out the meatloaf from the oven.

The screen door squeaks and boots thud through the house when Lee enters and makes his way to the kitchen. You nervously look over your shoulder, catching him leaning against the door jamb, spinning his hat in his hand, a soft smile on his lips as he looks your way.

“This is a sight. If I didn’t know better I’d think I wandered into the wrong house.”

You let out a bit of a nervous laugh, then look back down to the greens you were tending to, “I am so sorry, I kept your wife busy longer than I should’ve. She’ll be out in just a minute.” You go back to busying yourself with finishing up the meal.

“Not complainin’,” he mutters under his breath, but you still hear it and it makes your breath hitch. Jane could set you on edge with her snide remarks, so could Lee, but for completely different reasons - some that had been dormant for so long you didn’t know what to do.

Just then Jane makes her grand reappearance, hair freshly combed and lips tinged with a touch of color; her cheeks look ruddy, but you can’t tell if it’s rouge or flush from the alcohol she’s been sipping.

“Don’t you go adding too much milk to my potatoes, nobody likes ‘em all runny. Here, let me,” she says and nudges you out of the way, “See you gotta mix in just a little bit right there.”

She overpours anyway, her hands moving unsteadily as she mashes the potatoes up, making them runny just like she warned you about.

From behind you, you see Lee go to the table, picking up the liquor bottle and examining the contents, making marks with his fingers against the side of the bottle and shaking his head. He takes a swig himself and sets it back down.

He mumbles something about being sober, then walks down the hall to where Jane disappeared, stopping to say something to make the boys giggle on the way before they wrestle each other at the bathroom sink to wash up for supper.

The meal starts off quiet, just the utensils scraping along the plates, but Jane being the gracious host, finally tries to perk it up with conversation.

“I know Wilford might be a little rough ‘round the edges for someone from a bigger town, but there are still several other young men I can introduce you to,” she offers, unprompted.

You choke a little before you recover and finish chewing your bite of food.

“You needn’t go through the trouble, Mrs. Bodecker. Really.”

“It’s just, you’re so young to be widowed already and all alone. What kinda home will it be for the boy with no man around? And don’t you want more kids? I bet you just glow. Some of the ladies at my bible study wouldn’t mind setting you up.”

The idea makes you squirm. No, you aren’t dead inside, but there’s no way for you to get what - who you really want.

The sheriff speaks up then. “My old man took off on my ma, sister, and me. That’s just the way shit happens sometimes,” he says and you feel the dark cloud start to clear just a bit. You nod at him, acknowledging the little bit of affirmation.

“What was your husband like?” Jane presses, digging a little further into that painful wound. “Maybe that will help me out.”

Your Jimmy didn’t have much to give you, but he gave you all he could. He gave you the kind of love that made your cheeks hurt from smiling, and your stomach swoop with butterflies. Your eyes flick toward Lee and you think again about how alike they seem to you, handsome, intuitive, assertive, strong-willed. He catches your gaze and pauses his chewing for a brief second while he waits for your answer.

“He was a good man, strong and fair. I’d like to think he and Mr. Bodecker would’ve gotten on quite well,” you finally say, smiling kindly at them both in turn.

Lee’s lips curl into a smile while he finishes chewing, then sits back with a stretch. “You’re makin’ me sound like an old man,” he whines, “Call me Lee when I’m not on duty.”

“Yes sir,” you automatically reply. “Lee.”

His smile grows. “Say, Janey? Why don’t you go get that jug of wine up for us?”

She nods and gets up.

“Wine?” you ask, surprised.

“It’s nothin’ special, someone up the road makes it. Tastes better than that church wine, but don’t burn like the shine some other folks are brewin’ up.”

Jane comes back with three glasses and pours generously for you all, her own motions increasingly sloppy from her afternoon drinking.

You sip at it, the taste a little tart, but not as acidic and thank them for their generosity.

“Jane, you do something different with the seasoning tonight?”

“No,” she answers, then goes right back to her chat with you, you think about speaking up, but she goes back to leading the conversation. “So, you still thinking about becoming a working gal?”

“Not right away, but yes.”

“Oh?” Lee asks, “Something at the diner? I think the grocery is hiring?”

“Nuh uh,” her voice takes on a nasty tone, “Nothing like that for her. She went to secretary school.” The lilt in her voice makes it clear that she doesn’t care for that little fact. “Can you believe that? School just to learn to file a paper or take a message.”

“There’s more to it than that,” you quietly defend.

“Jane, what the hell do you know? You haven’t worked a day in your life?” Lee asks.

Jane rolls her eyes, body slumping a bit in her chair. “Well, whatever you do, just make sure you don’t go working at the Tecumsah.” She snorts into her glass as she takes a sip. “That’s where Lee’s sister works. I told you ‘bout her before.” She gives you a look. “That place is a den of sin, if you know what I am gettin’ at.”

“You’re are gonna spoil my appetite talkin’ like that,” he says. He drops his fork and you startle, his glare at his wife making clear this is another sore subject.

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” she mutters. “I’m gettin’ tired of mending the buttons on your clothes.”

Your jaw nearly drops. You wring your napkin on your lap and scramble for something to change the subject and break the tension, “Jane, there are such lovely flowers planted right by the library, is there a gardening club around here that you haven’t told me about?”

She’s bored by the topic, but it does enough to distract her and send her on a tangent. You nod and hum while you pick at your food. Occasionally you glance to Lee at the side and find him looking at you appreciatively.

You keep turning the conversation away from yourself, getting her to talk about anything you can as she keeps refilling and sipping down more of her wine.

You use the next lull in conversation to make your exit.

“This has been lovely, and I am so thankful for everything today, but we really oughtta get back home. I need to make sure Mrs. Martins gets her items from the pharmacist and I need to try to fix the old projector she’s given me.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Lee asks, leaning forward.

“No idea,” you laugh. “I was hoping to puzzle it together.”

“I can take a look for you,” he offers.

“If you have a moment,” you turn to Jane, “And you don’t mind sparing him.”

She scoffs and waves her fingers, “Nah, take Robert with you.”

He grunts in response while the kids leap up, excited for more time together. You do what you can to clean up and ease the load for Jane, but she’s getting more irritable by the minute, so you shuffle to the door to leave.

You head to the driveway where your car’s parked, waiting for him outside while the boys chase each other around the cars. He steps out the door, swinging his key ring on his fingers, looking at ease without the uniform on, but still strutting with an air of authority. It makes your stomach swoop.

“The Martins place? What road is that on again?” he asks jarring you out of your staring.

“Just follow me, Sheriff. I mean - Lee,” You nod as you get into the driver’s seat, Steven climbing in on the other side.

“Don’t mind if I do.” He mutters it loud enough that you hear him. The tilted, teasing grin on his face as he climbs into his own car almost makes you certain it was his intention.

When you get out, there’s a lump in your throat and the air suddenly feels heavy. Thankfully, the short walk up your drive is quiet, the sheriff walking leisurely next to you and laughing at the boys as they race each other down the sidewalk.

“I gotta go in the back way,” you swallow thickly as you tell him while you open up the gate, “There’s a private staircase for us there.”

He nods and follows.

When you enter the small apartment, you’re grateful that you don’t have much to fuss over and that it is tidy by default.

“Why don’t you boys go play with the Lincoln Logs or race cars? Nothing too loud right now,” you suggest and push them off toward the small room Steven occupies. “I got the parts all together right here, but I think something is missing.” You point to the box with the projector parts and reels.

“No problem,” Lee’s voice is quiet in your small space. He takes out the parts and starts to fit things together, checking a few switches here and there after a couple of minutes before patting the top of it with a, “There you go.”

You smile widely, “That’s it? Really?”

“That’s it, Sweets,” he matches your smile.

You suddenly hate the idea of him leaving so quickly, so you look around for something else.

“Coffee?”

He nods. “It’s like you read my mind,” there’s a glint in his eye as he gives you a generous once-over.

You feel a flush and quickly turn away to the kitchen.

Your hands tremble as you fill the kettle with water and scoop grounds into the press.

The boys break into a fit of giggles and before you can call after them, you feel the warm presence of Lee shuffle up behind you. His boots scuff against the floor as he stops, then seconds later his arms cage you in from behind, his palms resting against the edge of the countertop.

His breaths are deep, his nose just tickling along the neckline of your dress and you feel your back stiffen at the rush.

“You’re so lovely Sweets,” he whispers.

Your breath shakes as you suck it in. “S-sheriff,” you swallow thickly, “Lee? What’re you doing?”

“You’re beautiful, y’know.”

You remain still, unable to whisper anything but his name again.

“I see the way you look at me,” he presses a kiss to your skin that’s so gentle and tender but nearly makes your knees buckle. “Like you want somethin’.”

“I’m not - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you weakly deny.

One arm leaves the counter to wrap around your middle, pulling you even closer to him while he steps right up behind you, the whole front of him up against your back. The movement makes you gasp and arch just slightly. You’re unable to catch yourself from rolling your head back to lean against him fully and feeling him grunt.

“You don’t need to make any excuses. You want me, dontcha?” he talks with his lips pressed right against your neck, heavy breaths tickling at your hairline.

God, do you want him. The sudden feeling of a warm, masculine body against you is something you didn’t realize you missed so much. For years it’s just been you and your boy and focusing on the day to day, not thinking about the way a strong arm feels pulled around you with fingers just tickling at your sensitive skin - until suddenly that’s exactly what is happening. And how you’ve missed it, your muscles nearly seize up with tension as you try to fight how good it feels.

It’s like trying to drag yourself from a dream, slow and muted as you try to make sense of everything at once; a sharp clarity punches through hard and fast.

“Your wife,” you reach down to cover his hand with your own, ready to try to pry him off.

“That fucking pig? I don’t love her, I don’t want her. She don’t want me either.”

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that,” you tell him and start to pull away, squirming away but getting nowhere since he doesn’t budge an inch. He allows you to spin around between himself and the countertop. “Lee? What is this? What’re you doing?”

It’s a stupid question. You know what this is. You can remember moments like these with your late husband, but Lee is not your husband. You know his wife. You just spent the evening with her in their home.

He doesn’t answer. Instead his free hand starts to skim up along your side until his thumb catches at the curve at the bottom your breast, then slides up so that he can rub his thumb back and forth over your dress, teasing at your hardened nipple.

It makes you whimper and nearly fold in half with how sensitive you feel.

“I’ll make you feel so good,” he coos, his lips parted and eyes tracking the movement of his thumb.

You lift your arms to his shoulders, uncertain yet if you’re planning to push him away or pull him close when you hear the quick footsteps of the boys.

Lee steps back to give you some distance and your hands flutter mid-air as you try to compose yourself.

The boys start to whine over each other-

“Momma. Robert keeps knocking over my building.”

“No, he keeps takin’ the blocks I’m using.”

Some kind of clarity forms and you rush out a solution for them, “Why don’t you get out your TinkerToys and split it all up? Alright? Go back to the other room,” you nudge them away.

Problem solved, they run back to the room, leaving you standing in the kitchen, Lee lingering just feet away and the half-finished coffee press on the counter.

“Jane must be expecting you home by now.”

He grunts and shakes his head ruefully, “She’s probably passed out by now.”

“Oh,” you nod. You search for something, anything to excuse yourself and catch your breath, “I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me a moment.”

You slip out of the kitchen and into the door just down the hall. Taking a moment to relieve yourself then press a cool rag to your cheeks. You’d nursed the glass of wine Jane had poured, so you knew deep down you weren’t tipsy, you were just overrun by the feelings the sheriff gave you. Once you get your first full breath in minutes, you feel better, calmer and more controlled. You look at yourself in the mirror and decide - you just need to send him on home.

You barely crack open the bathroom door when it’s pushed open wide, Lee wedging in when it’s wide enough and nearly slamming it shut behind him.

“Don’t hide from me, Sweets,” is all he says before he’s got one arm around your middle again, and the other holding the back of your neck while he presses his lips against yours. After gasping in surprise, you instinctively return the kiss - your tongue and lips tentative against his dominating mouth.

It’s strange - all of it so strange after so long. It’s been years since your last kiss and you feel clumsy, out of practice, but he doesn’t hesitate one bit, doesn’t seem turned off by your uncoordinated motions and hands that can’t keep still over his middle and shoulders.

He takes in a deep breath, pausing for just a second to position himself better, then he’s back on you, and you feel ready for him this time. One hand resting on his chest while the other hooks up around his neck, your fingers stroking through the soft, short hairs at the back of his head. He turns the both of you, pressing you against the vanity sink.

“Lee,” you whimper when he wedges a leg between yours.

“Shh, shh, sshh. I got you.”

His kisses are relentless and make you light-headed, gasping for breaths every time he slightly lets up. His hands push and pull, struggling against your dress and your undergarments until he’s freed one breast and can drop his head to suckle at your hard peak.

Your mouth falls open in a silent cry, mind painfully aware of the children in the room nearby. You crack open an eye to make sure the door is still closed and try to focus on the sounds the kids are making, but his tongue and lips are too distracting. He pulls as much of your breast into his mouth as he can, greedily swirling his tongue all over the sensitive bud, and pulling away with a loud pop.

You slap at his shoulder while he just looks up at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Feels good, right?” He places his hand to cup your breast, thumb flicking at your nipple. “Let me have you, I’ll make you feel so good, my sweet girl. Please?”

His own eyes close as he ruts up against you, his hard length pressing against your hip and sending a tremor through your body, practically shaking your bones. You don’t move though, your hands stay frozen where you hold onto him, but he continues to lead and coax you along.

One wide hand holds you at the back of your neck, just holding you in place. His mouth moves across your cheeks and at the hinge of your jaw. He whispers quiet promises of satisfaction, telling you how lovely you are and confirming every word with a kiss. His other hand leaves your breast after one final and quick pinch and grabs at the bottom of your dress. The fabric bunching in his fist as he gathers it until he can feel your thigh.

Then he teases you with just the tips of his fingers, sliding right up and over til he meets where your thighs meet. It tickles, makes you shake a little, and then you’re sucking in a hard gasp when he keeps going until he pets and presses over your sex with the pads of his fingertips.

“So wet,” he says on an exhale, pressing right where you feel your excitement leaking. “You want me too. It’s alright.”

To prove his point, he presses harder, flattening his hand until he’s cupping you and making your body jerk between him and the sink. You bend your knees to open your thighs wider with the touch, and he groans and presses hard against you again, the heel of his palm putting pressure to your throbbing clit. You struggle to not hook your leg right over his hip to let him in.

“Lee,” you start to beg, “Please. Oh my god, please.”

It’s so overwhelming you start to sob, the tears already prick at the corners of your eyes. Just being touched, feeling the warmth of him, and the words - it’s all that you remembered being with a man to be and more. His hand keeps a rhythm against you, driving you higher. You hadn’t had a man’s touch in years, but suddenly you need Lee like you need air.

“Please,” you say again. Your body tingles with electricity that has nowhere to go.

“So pretty. You’re so pretty, baby. I’m gonna take care of ya. Am I what you need?”

“Yes,” tears start to roll down your cheeks. He pulls back slightly until he can slip his fingers underneath your panties, gliding right through your arousal. You feel two of his fingers slide into you, and you squeeze around them instantly.

“Fuck,” he grunts. Your wetness drips down his fingers into his palm. He presses the heel of it against you again, right against your sensitive clit this time. “Come on my fingers, sweetness.”

He fucks you with his hand, his thick, solid fingers caressing you while he sends jolts of pleasure through you with pressure on your sensitive button. You squirm to get away, but the hand still at the back of your neck tightens and holds you down, making you take it.

“It’s alright,” he whispers, “It’s alright.”

And that’s it. You freeze for a moment as the pleasure peaks and then you’re trembling as the shocks of it rush through you in a blaze. You can hear the wetness drowning his fingers as he keeps pumping them into you while you clench over him repeatedly and sob as quietly as you can, which must not be very quiet because he starts to shush you and slow the movement of his hand, gently attempting to calm you down.

“You’re okay, s’alright baby, just breathe, c’mon,” you hear him coach, but all you can focus on is the thumping beat of your heart as it races and trying to catch your breath between sniffles, the tears falling freely down your cheeks.

His hand slides out from your panties to grab you steady at your waist, the hand from your neck moves so he can use his thumb to wipe away your tears. He presses his forehead to yours and tells you to breathe with him.

You blink your eyes open, eyelashes glittering with wetness and you take a minute to focus. Once things are clear, you tilt your head back to look at him. His cheeks are flushed, lips wet and rosy, and his eyes - they nearly glow as he looks you over. It’s something to see - awe, tenderness, pride all in the twitches of his lips as his lips turn up with a smile.

“Sweets, will you touch me?” he asks. For such a big man, his voice is suddenly so small.

“Lee, I can’t-I haven’t…” you struggle to find the words.

“It’s alright, that’s alright,” he assures you, circling your wrist with his fingers still sticky from your arousal, and guiding them to the bulge in his trousers. You flinch, but don’t pull away, your arm tenses, but goes with the motion. He presses your palm against the solid length, pushing down to give him some relief. His hips press against you in return and once he’s sure you aren't going anywhere, he lets go of your wrist, then starts to undo the belt and button in quick movements. He tugs the waistband of his trousers and boxers down together, just to release his cock.

You feel the fabric move under your palm, but keep pressing against him, your hand sliding just slightly out of remembered instinct. When the fabric of his boxers slides away and you’re met with the heat of his cock, you gasp. Your hand wraps around him, fingers circling around his shaft to hold him and pulling a strangled moan from him.

“Shit-fuck,” he hisses. “Won’t be long.” He wraps his hand over yours, pulling your fist up and down over him while he pumps his hips into it. Precome drips down from the slit, easing the glide.

His eyes close and he presses his temple to yours, his face pulls up in concentration, focusing on the pleasure, “You’re so soft, so sweet,” he rasps, “Want you so bad, want you all to myself.”

You can imagine it, if you’re ready to be totally honest, you have imagined it.

“Kiss me?” you whisper.

His lips meet yours roughly for a long press, then he tilts his head and licks at the seam of your lips, making you open up to him. His hand and yours start to speed up, he keeps guiding you up and down, just the slightest twist at the head with each stroke.

The kiss turns sloppy, more sharing air and pecks than anything as he spirals with the pleasure you’re helping to give him.

“You’re gonna -you’re gonna make me-” with a pained expression, he nudges you away, his hand stroking frantically as he leans over your sink until he starts to come, streaks hitting the porcelain as he chokes down groans. You watch his neck and face go red, trying not to watch, but you can’t help yourself and catch the way his cock twitches with his release, all swollen and red. You don’t think you could possibly blush more, but still fire burns underneath your skin.

When he finishes coming, he reaches for you again, pulling you into another hard kiss. “God, darlin’. Fuck,” he whispers while he attempts to catch his breath. “Fuck. Haven’t been tugged off like that since I was a deputy.” He chuckles, the laugh coming out in hard puffs of air.

You struggle to look at anything in the bathroom, eyes straying back to Lee, to his softening cock, to the come dripping slowly in the sink basin. Just then you hear the boys start to giggle and reality hits you again, making your chest seize up in panic.

“Oh, Lee. No,” you raise a hand to your mouth and quickly rush out the door, piecing your wardrobe back together as you walk back into the kitchen. You hear the water run in the bathroom and murmuring as Lee talks to himself.

Your movement must have distracted the boys because they manage to sound like a stampede heading toward you. You wipe at your nose and eyes as best you can before you turn to see what they want.

Both the boys pause, but it’s your son that speaks up, knowing how you look when you cry. “Momma, you alright?”

Lee exits the bathroom then, shirt tucked back in, belt and trousers back in place - only the flush from the neck up giving anything away. His eyes bore into you with heavy emotion that you are ashamed that you can read so well - concern, sympathy, desire. A mixture that you remind yourself you don’t deserve.

“Yeah, baby. I am. You know I get sad sometimes, I’ll be fine. Are you boys ready to say goodbye for tonight? I think it’s well past your bedtime.”

You grab Steven and fuss with his hair, with his messy shirt, and then turn him around and hold him against you like a tiny human shield. “Say thank you to the sheriff for fixing the projector and for letting Robert play.”

“Thank you, sir,” your son dutifully responds.

Lee can see what you’re doing and he’s not happy with it, his mouth going flat and shoulders heaving as you pressure him into leaving.

He just nods, then nudges at Robert’s shoulder, “Say thank you for indulging us.”

“Thank you,” Robert quietly says.

You send Steven down the hallway to get ready for bed, and then you follow behind as they step toward the door, Robert too tired from a full day of play to put up a fight. Lee opens the door to the back steps, telling Robert to be careful going down. When the boy starts down a few, Lee turns back to you.

Before you can react, he’s giving you another kiss, quick but meaningful. “We’re not done,” he whispers.

“We are. Go home, Lee.”

He gives you a long look before stomping down the steps. “Til next time, Sweets.”

...

#lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker angst #lee bodecker fanfiction #hoedecker club #hoedecker cult #tdatt fanfiction #my writing #fic title so wrong #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker x female reader

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hiruseki · 3 years ago

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Do you have some constructive criticism for OPM manga? I think that cathartic wc moment of “You wanted to be a hero..” will probably never be seen in the manga which is a shame. I was slightly disappointed reading chapter 161 because chapter 160 ended with THAT LINE and then the subsequent chapter just…failed to live up to its hype. Saitama has consistently been a good judge of character throughout OPM manga- he sees through pretentious people and calls them out on their crap (eg sour face, fubuki) but approaching Garou with such an erroneous conclusion about him and Tareo was just out of character for him. When he’s trying to understand someone (like Suiryu or King) he always leaves room for further scrutiny and skepticism but this time he just jumped the gun…either that or he’s purposely talking shit just to piss Garou off.

my answer to this was originally much longer, but i’ve tried to really distill what i think would have improved this arc:

pacing/length issues

cut it to, like, 20% of its length. it feels meandering and overstuffed. there is so much bloat--even if it does provide something, it doesn’t provide enough to justify how much it slows down the pace.

related: we did not need practically every hero to have a character arc within the MA arc. besides stretching out the arc to be a whopping 100+ chapters, they don’t feel like they’re allowed to truly have their own spotlight. there are a bunch of people on stage passing around the microphone when i think it would have served the story better to...well, not do that.

bonus problem: the S class characters largely resolving their flaws beore garou comes onto the scene undermines a lot of his character because his critiques no longer apply.

too much god. too much blast. a hint here and there? ok, cool. god popping up this many times just overshadows the current arc and gives us even more stuff to focus on. it makes everything feel so much messier and more convoluted.

i’m actually afraid that there is a plan to involve god in the garou/saitama fight, potentially having garou accept god’s power (manga drop-able offense for me).

not a pacing issue, but i do not like the way god is being framed as just Big Bad #1298450. he’s just a kaiju who preys on humans, going to the lengths to manipulate them instead of simply enabling them to live out the worst versions of themselves. it killed all interest i had in the character, personally.

garou characterization thoughts

tbh i think they’ve just taken the “garou is nice” thing way too far. i get this is a hot take, but i don’t think it was good to virtually eliminate all ambiguity surrounding his character. prior to surfacing, garou was still pretty obviously a good guy, but the amount of handholding is genuinely tedious at this point and removes so much tension.

one of garou’s most interesting traits was the contradiction that his cruelty came from a place of kindness. his desire for peace was so strong that he was willing to put on a visceral, shocking display of violence. that tension was so crucial to his character for me. the fact that the story is intentionally refusing to build any tension feels like it’s just afraid of the audience potentially misinterpreting him. which just feels so...sanitized? and so much less nuanced?

i also think making him unconscious was in service of removing culpability. it’s harder to be upset with him for terrorizing people if he’s not even aware he’s doing it. but as i said then and as i still feel now, it removes so much of his agency that it’s not worth sacrificing just to hammer home the point that he’s not evil.

i know a lot of people like the conflictedness this represents and how his subconscious is fighting off the monsterification, and i really did try to give it a chance, but i just think it was more powerful for garou to deliberately choose every single thing he did. because it made the things he chose not to do more powerful. in the webcomic, he chose not to hurt fubuki. that’s interesting. that says something about what he wants to do. him almost punching fubuki in the manga while unconscious doesn’t.

i think the cadres are too prominent and overstayed their welcome. they've essentially replaced garou's role as the catalyst for the heroes growing in their subsequent arcs. in garou's case, it was ironic because he had inadvertently caused the heroes to improve. whereas, with the cadres, they were just being evil and the heroes morally improved because they had to stand up to actual evil. imo, it heavily reduces garou's narrative importance for no reason other than to prevent him from coming across too morally compromised. the cadres straight up don't matter after this arc, so their contribution to the characters' moral development just doesn't feel as interesting as garou.

misc thoughts

i think the S class and execution scene are gone for good, and i think this is a byproduct of the direction the story has chosen to take. realizing this has made me dislike a lot of these changes in retrospect.

the S class fight scene is literally necessary for the execution scene to work without feeling like a massive character regression for the heroes. not only have the heroes largely resolved their problems, they don’t have any truly compelling reason to want him dead anymore. they already came across villainous in the webcomic, now they’d come across borderline psychopathic.

and i don’t think the S class fight scene really works anymore because they story has done too much work to defang garou already. garou going from chibi tsundere to baby punter would be absurd tonal whiplash.

garou's monsterification design should have followed the webcomic's trajectory imooo. i know i've written about this somewhere, but his monsterification was extremely symbolic in the webcomic and it was for awhile in the manga before it randomly ditched it. it was a literal armor of self destruction. he was wearing his own dysfunction as a symbol of strength, hammering home just how much he’s hiding from himself and trying to turn his insecurity into a shield. additionally, he was still wearing jeans and sneakers, and it felt so earnestly human that it helped dismantle his veneer of Evulz.

saitama’s line to tareo checking that he doesn’t want garou to die was so insane to me. i wrote about it some here on nysh’s post, but it feels like whiplash to go from the guy who was just sharing tender moments with genos to a guy who is casually discussing the potential for him to murder someone he just acknowledged as being human to a small child who clearly idolizes him. like...what on earth?

overall, i think this has been sort of a domino effect. by resolving the heroes’ flaws so early, you sacrifice garou’s credibility and narrative relevance. by doing that, you are forced to temper his performative evil because you can’t have both parties be morally justified in their actions towards one another if they’re both unambiguously good. and by doing that...well, you kind of completely recontextualize garou's arc. and if you’re going to do that, you can’t keep relying on the webcomic’s lines and plot highlights and expecting it to work in a new context. the manga is still trying to capitalize on the “stop pretending to be a monster” conflict while simultaneously refusing to let garou do anything morally reprehensible to convince anyone he’s a monster. the story doesn’t feel like it’s asking the reader to examine what their moral limits are and who they are willing to cheer for anymore. i really hate to say it, but i think these alterations have resulted in a weaker story.

up to now, despite the litany of problems i’ve had with the manga, i’ve still been able to have fun with it, appreciate the things it’s doing well, and let it be what it is. but i would be lying if i said these problems weren’t accumulating and making me very nervous about what’s coming next, and frankly less excited.

TL;DR i would recommend cutting the length and shifting some character revelation stuff.

#opm #one punch man #meta #mine #asks

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nona-piccolo · 4 years ago

Note

Obey Me you say ?? Oh HECK yeah, I’ve been thinking of a bunch of stuff ! Feel free to just respond to ones you enjoy, and I wish I had a preference of the brothers or others but that’s also really just up to you! The gender neutral pronouns are amazing, thank you !!! Now that that is out of the way, on to thoughts and questions!

How do you feel the brothers or others would react to a very blunt and honest MC? Like one that is nice as heck, but will not hesitate to tell you their actual thoughts on things- for example the constant bashing on Mammon or maybe helping Solomon out in the kitchen with friendly suggestions kinda vibe !

How do

Oh I love this one! A part of me thinks that the brothers truly need a blunt MC in their lives, especially with how they treat Mammon and such sometimes LOL Because there is no preference, I decided to only do the brothers for now. But I do feel bad, because my Asmodeus, Beel, and Belphie ones appear to be much shorter… Thank you for the request though, I really hope you enjoy the answer 💗

How the boys react to blunt MC

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor

Reader: gn!reader

Warnings: none :)

Lucifer

I think it’s well known that Lucifer is not the softest guy when it comes to words.

Not only does he say whatever is on his mind, no matter how harsh it may be, but he also doesn’t care at all whose feelings he hurts in doing so. And yet there has never been anyone else to try and voice their opinions fullheartedly towards him.

So when he first begins spending time with you, truly, he was lowkey shocked at how blunt and honest you were.

Especially when it was towards him.

“Lucifer, did you just hang Mammon from the banister… again??” you ask, barging into his office without knocking. He was quite used to this however, and the demon had long since given up trying to scold you for it; it was no use, you would just keep doing it.

It’s not like he minded though. In fact, your presence made his head feel light after the many hours of paperwork he was going at.

“Yes, I did actually. Why do you ask?” he replied, glancing up to see you situated in front of his desk. You had your hands on your hips, obviously looking displeased. For a second, he thought your irritation was directed towards him.

“Why do I ask?” you replied back, no hesitation in your voice. “This is the third time this week. Mammon clearly hasn’t learned to fix his behavior after the first few times, and it’s obvious that hurting him won’t solve a thing!”

Oh… your irritation was directed towards him

Lucifer blinked up at you, his red eyes trying to read your face. No one ever had a problem with him punishing Mammon in the creative ways he could find; in fact, his younger brothers appeared to love watching Mammon suffer.

Apparently… you had not.

“Y/N, I-” Lucifer sighed, hell bent on just straight up telling you that Mammon will never learn.

“No. Stop doing it. He doesn’t deserve that.” You cut him off, the frustration still showing on your face. And before the demon could reply, you had turned around to whisk yourself out of his office.

The only thing left in the room was him and his thoughts--- and the sound of his pen slipping from his fingers to bounce onto the desk.

Ohhh boy, Lucifer had never had someone stand up to him like that. It wasn’t even like you were trying to be mean, or be the more ‘dominant’ one… you were just saying what was on your mind. And Lucifer wasn’t blind.. He knew how much his other brothers meant to you, so for you to care so much as to voice your opinion to the very avatar of pride himself--- maybe, just maybe, he could give Mammon a break from punishments.

Even though people like to portray Lucifer as someone who is super strict and would want to be around I guess more ‘submissive’ people who would obey him, I think he would certainly not like an MC who allows people to walk all over them. You are the perfect balance between kindness and honesty, making you a trustworthy companion.

And a good ol’ honest comment could never truly hurt Lucifer’s feelings. His skin was as thick as bone, so to finally be around someone who isn’t intimidated to speak their mind around him… it’s almost relieving

I guess you could even say he finds it attractive….

Mammon

Mammon had always enjoyed spending time with you

From the moment he met you, you had always given off a fun and compassionate aura, and so the demon was ecstatic to finally have a partner-in-crime!

Ehhhh… it wasn’t like that though

Although you found humor and joy in going along with his harmless schemes, there were some where you put your foot down without a grain of hesitation.

When you first voiced your opinion on how bad of an idea it was to try and snap a picture of Lucifer when he was sleeping, he instantly thought you were a debby downer with a goody-goody type of attitude. Mammon had groaned out in frustration as if he was a 3-year-old child.

“Oh come on! It’ll be fun! It’s not like Lucifer will even see ya coming,” he responded, pulling out his phone to text Satan and Asmodeus his plans.

You had stared at him after that for a solid minute, your arms crossed and your eyebrows furrowed as if you were thinking. It wouldn’t take a genius to recognize how bad of an idea that was.

“Mammon, you’ll probably be punished again. Respect Lucifer’s privacy please. Besides, I think it’ll be more fun if we watched a movie tonight! What do you say we rewatch the TSL series together?” you had brought up an alternate solution to keep him out of Lucifer’s wrath, hands folded together and eyes wide as you hoped he would agree and listen to you. Mammon was just confused though, looking at you as if you were crazy.

You’d rather watch that series all over again instead of trying to cause trouble for Lucifer??

Ugh… but look at your expecting face… he couldn’t just let you down.

Surprisingly, and begrudgingly though, he had agreed.

And guess who wasn’t thrown from the banister that night?? Mammon.

Your honesty doesn’t just stop there though.

As the family punching bag, Mammon was so used to taking the hits for his stupidity and then moving on. He never fought back. So when you decided to voice out how ridiculous it was that he was being called “stupid” and how ironic it was that Asmodeus was calling Mammon an “attention-seeker” or that Satan was referring to Mammon as an “asshole”, he was whole-heartedly surprised.

Apparently so were his other brothers.

Everyone just sort of sat there in silence as you shot comments back at them, scolding them for treating Mammon like he was dirt. It wasn’t just one instance either; Every. Single. Time. You told them to knock it off.

And just like that, the harsh insults towards Mammon began to disappear, especially whenever you were around.

The avatar of greed never had anyone to stand up for him in the ways that you had. And he feels his heart swell up with warmth as you berate Lucifer of all people for hanging Mammon upside; the fall causing his sunglasses to slip and break, much to his disappointment.

Mammon made it a goal to always be near you when he voiced his opinion around others; because not only would you acknowledge what he said, but you also made sure the others wouldn’t shoot him down for simply being himself

It was like he could breathe when he was around you. Like every single thing he said wasn’t nitpicked apart and thrown away as a stupid thing. You were different. You told him what was wrong and gave him constructive criticism.

BUT-- that honestly doesn’t protect him from himself

No one is safe from your blunt persona, not even Mammon.

I think this is what he truly needs in his life though; because I believe honesty and bluntness comes from a place of love and comfort. You are blunt because you want Mammon to be the best that he can be, you are blunt because you want to see Mammon succeed, you are blunt because you care about him.

Every honest thing you say about him is to protect him.

So whenever Mammon sneaks into Leviathan’s room at night for a limited edition figurine, or slips down Diavolo’s corridors to try and snatch a vintage portrait that could make him some potential money… he always pauses to think of your reaction to his late night greedy urges. So that when he hesitantly puts down the portrait, he can sleep comfortably knowing that you’d be proud of him.

Leviathan

To be honest… I think it would make him very nervous when he observed that you were an honest person

Even though his brothers are equally as harsh to him-- for example, they don’t hesitate to call him a nerd, or a weeb and otaku-- he doesn’t seem to mind it anyways, since Leviathan has fully absorbed and accepted his otaku persona.

But this situation is a bit different… because even though Leviathan is used to his brothers being honest with him, it’s a whole different thing when Y/N does it.

Someone out of his family circle telling him that he’s a weirdo??

Yikes, he doesn’t think his heart could handle that.

So to cope he’ll at first just stay in his room… far away from you… so he could get to his usual activities.

He is already so used to being locked up in his room away from prying eyes and others’ opinions, so as soon as he takes notice of your blunt tendencies (especially when you had first voiced your thoughts to Lucifer), Leviathan shies away from being close to a normie like you. Besides, he doesn’t even need to leave, right? He has an emergency built stash of food for when he needs to eat, and he could just do school work on his own computer.

He has this whole imaginary field of comfort that he had built up for years and years; a room full of figures and merchandise-- his own personal utopia.

Leviathan doesn’t want you to judge him; he doesn’t want you to think that he’s weird or a loser. His poor introverted otaku heart couldn’t handle it

Clearly, he didn’t understand you at all...

That doesn’t stop you from hanging around him either. You insist he shouldn’t have to wait up all night alone for tickets on Zaramela’s new worldwide tour, and you had dragged Mammon along with you to give Leviathan some company.

He felt cornered, deciding to let you in to stay up late with him. And while Mammon had fallen asleep (much to Levi’s anxiety), he was left to try and entertain you to the best of his ability.

Leviathan hesitantly hopped onto his gaming console, turning on a classic favorite of his. It was simple, it was easy, and he was very familiar with it, especially considering he had played it and completed it over 25 times.

Perhaps his movements will be more shaky and unsure, however. When you sat down to watch him play his video games, he may mess up more often, to his dismay. Your distance to him was decent enough, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched him begin to get absorbed into the game.

“You know, you’re very good at the game…” you mutter, looking down at his fingers flying across the controller. You wonder for a moment how Leviathan can even stare at the bright screen for so long without any permanent eye damage.

Apparently he took your comment as a sarcastic one, lightly scoffing. “Okay I get it… we can do something else… like uhh..” his eyes flitted down to a random CD he had discarded on his floor a while ago. “We could watch The Girl Whose Grandparents Travelled Back in Time to Tell Her She Was a Princess,” he casually brought up airily; already in the process of turning off his video game. He reached over to grab the CD, realizing too late that this was one of the animes he didn’t really like...

You were a bit confused at the offer though. “Um no thanks. It’s a total rip off of The Girl Whose Parents Time Travelled To the Past to Tell Her She Was a Princess.” Your response was automatic, looking at the CD as if you were bored.

Leviathan paused. “What?! Y-You noticed that too??” he questioned, tossing the CD back onto the ground where it originally was. “Finally someone who understands!! The heroine was almost a complete carbon copy, I can’t believe the studio got away with that!”

You nodded your head, a serious expression on your face. “What a let down. Besides, the original had a better soundtrack 100%.”

Leviathan almost jumped on you with excitement.

Apparently not even Leviathan knew how harsh of a critic he himself was. All that harsh judgement he does on animes and video games… Perhaps you being just as blunt would be new to him. You were somehow both one in the same.

All in all, Leviathan didn’t understand how much of a blessing having an honest person in his life could be. Especially as someone who doesn’t judge; your honesty never crossed the line into personal territory.

Instead, you gave him an opportunity to gain feedback on animes that you two binge watch together

And for the first time in forever, Leviathan felt like he had someone to indulge in.

Satan

He really really enjoys this

Satan pegs me as the type of guy that would find humor in hearing your honest opinions--- and you notice that whenever you speak your mind towards Lucifer, you can briefly hear a quiet chuckle escaping Satan’s lips.

Of course, as mature as Satan is, it’s not that he actually finds what you say humorous; he just never thought he’d see the day where some mortal human would stand up to a group of demons as intimidating as they could be.

You remind him of himself in some ways… both of you unafraid to speak your minds and both of you able to stand up for what you truly believe in.

And because of this, he registers the fact that instead of going to Solomon or Asmodeus for opinions on his books or feedback for his many essays, he goes to you.

Especially when Satan needs proper and honest feedback from someone who wouldn’t sugarcoat it. And unlike Leviathan, Satan relishes in some proper assessments.

Satan feels more drawn to you than the rest of his brothers, coming up to you for some of his more diabolical actions--- like the many pranks he kept under his sleeve for Lucifer

“Do you think Lucifer will see this one coming?” he asked you casually, sliding you a piece of paper containing a scribbled down--- yet well thought-out and detailed scheme to cause trouble yet again.

You quirk up an eyebrow, glancing away from your phone and down towards the sheet of paper. With a small sigh, you decided to give in and at least entertain the idea. He just didn’t give up, huh?

“Hmmm… didn’t you try a plan like this similar to before?” you replied, eyes raking through the pencil marks.

“Have I?” he mumbled, leaning in to feign involvement. “Yes,” you answered, dropping the paper and acting like you didn’t need to see any more.

“And it didn’t work that time. I don’t think it’ll work this time either Satan. Sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry,” he grinned.

It’s not like it was just Satan who enjoyed your presence; you would grow increasingly more and more comfortable about voicing your opinions around him. There’s only one thing better than a straightforward honest person--- and that is someone who can actually appreciate the honesty

After you recognized that Satan truly does not get bothered by whatever is on the tip of your tongue, things only got better.

I can imagine late nights where you and Satan would stay up until your eyelids became like lead and you couldn’t continue without sleep. Those nights were filled with honesty and intelligence. He thought you had a beautiful mind. He wanted to hear every opinion that popped up in your head

Asmodeus

Hmmm… Asmodeus is a bit trickier.

As an outward and bubbly extrovert, Asmodeus was bound to hear all types of opinions from all types of different people. And judging by his insane amount of confidence, he doesn’t let any of that negative energy affect him (He says it’s bad for his skin).

It’s not like you’d say anything mean to him to begin with, especially purposefully--- but I feel everyone takes criticism differently, and some take it to heart more than others

Considering you don’t fall for Asmodeus’s mind-controlling charm, your honest and blunt nature just adds the cherry to the cake on what kind of person you are. This just makes you more natural and pleasant to be around.

So instead, he makes his use of it, making sure to drag you along with every one of his shopping sprees around town.

You wouldn’t suck up to him, or brush off his hyper enthusiasm by simply saying ‘yes’ to everything--- much like his brothers do to him

“Y/N, Y/N, do you think this color will look good on me??” Asmodeus excitedly asks, holding up a beige scarf to his neck. Both of you couldn’t care less about the wandering eyes that followed trailed towards the loud demon of lust. “I think this color looks good on me, but definitely not with the outfit I’m wearing currently.”

You smile at his animated gestures, nodding your head in agreement.

“I do think the color suits you, but didn’t you get a beige outfit a week ago? Maybe a cream color will look better,” you mention, shifting through the scarves on the rack.

Asmodeus pauses to pose in the mirror that was conveniently placed on the store wall. “You could be right~ I heard cream is more in style right now anyways. Thank you darling 💗.”

Beelzebub

Beelzebub doesn’t even notice you’re more blunt and honest; like, he doesn’t isolate that as your special quality

Instead, he just thinks that that is how you were as a person.

Honestly, it’s quite cute.

Whenever he eats off of the plates of others, or realizes that he just vacuumed down the cookies that you were supposed to deliver to Luke, you don’t hesitate to voice your disapproval.

“Beel, please don’t eat other people’s food. It’s not nice,” you reprimand gently, noticing that no other brother on the table was going to say anything to reprimand him.

He quietly gulps down the rest of the food that he had finished chewing in time. “Oh… sorry,” Beel mumbled, wiping the remaining crumbs of the cookies that he knew you worked on for Luke.

He didn’t even realize he reached over to take the food.. One moment his stomach grumbled hungrily, and then the next moment he smelled the cookies you had spent all morning baking.

Whenever he ate his brothers’ food, they would always sigh and complain to Lucifer about it---which in turn caused Lucifer to tell them to just grab some more.

He really really didn’t mean it…

You sighed quietly, grabbing a napkin off of the table to aid in ridding the crumbs all over his shirt. “It’s okay Beel. Try not to do it again, kay?” It looks like you needed to throw together another batch of cookies in order to get them delivered to Luke before it got too late.

You glanced behind you, watching as Beel followed you to the kitchen again. The redhead noticed your questioning glance, and he only grinned in reply.

“I’m going to help you make more. It’s the least I can do…” he said.

The gesture must have made you happy, because he could see you return the grin instantly.

Beelzebub also happens to be lowkey blunt in his own way, because while he may hold back in speaking a lot of the time, much of what he does say (besides things food-related) is actually quite honest. He isn’t afraid to tell people what he thinks about them, but on a much lower scale than you.

I think this mixture of two similar people is wonderful---

Remember how I said some people take honesty and criticism to heart more than others?? Well… Beel takes to heart what you say and attempts to fix anything he can within his power.

Belphegor

Ha ha ha… ahhh Belphegor. Okay correct me if I’m wrong, but he’d totally be the type to purposefully do things that would make you snap at him or cause you to be more blunt.

He always knew you were kind-- I mean, you were the one to help get him out of the miserable attic. You were also the one willing to deal with Mammon, so… ya know.

But his level of respect for you rose when the demon took note that you were no welcome mat.

No one could step all over you, and for a human, that was damn impressive to him.

For example, the first time he had fallen asleep in a weird position in front of you was when you, Beel, and Belphie decided it would be fun to bake some muffins for everyone. He was assigned the role of mixing together the mix and well… he fell asleep.

While standing…

You quickly snapped him out of it, voicing your opinion on how it was not the time to be sleeping--- especially if these muffins were to be done before dinner

He liked getting your attention in that way though

Belphegor was another demon with thick skin, and yet another demon who also happens to be blunt and honest (probably one the most in the family)

“You look like shit,” he mumbled into his pillow, watching you trudge into the room tiredly. You had dark under eye circles, probably due to the lack of sleep you had within the past two days, and your hair was unkempt. The strands thrown about your head like a cyclone just hit you. Belphegor had heard that you were taking extra magic lessons with Satan and Solomon, and he only assumed this was a result.

You grunted, flopping down onto the bed right next to him.

“Well, you don’t look too good yourself. But I guess that’s what 10 hours of sleep will do to you,” you bit back, the words were a bit slurred and muffled due to your face plant on the bed.

He chuckled lightly, scooching over to toss his blanket over you.

Belphegor would ask about your little magic experience later on; the loads of opinions you probably had would make due for an interesting listen.

#obey me #obeyme #reader x obey me #Obey me MC #headcanons

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splendidreads · 2 years ago

Text

Open Your Arms, Part 3

Mob!Bucky Barnes × Female OC

Word Count: 4692

Warnings: some mildly foul language, threats, protective Bucky is a warning in itself.

Summary: 'Arranged marriages are never easy. This one is no exception. Both sides will have to relearn their ways, and learn to trust each other. Bucky has all the love to give, but Katherine doesn't know how to accept real love. She's never been loved by anyone other than her best friend. Will she learn to open her heart, to New Yorks most notorious Mob Boss? Or is she too scared, that he's just like everyone else?'

A/N; This is my FIRST Bucky story. As well as my first AU story. If this first part does well, l'll keep on going. I'm incredibly beyond nervous about this. ALSO; things will pick up in the next chapter!! DONT WORRY!!

Constructive criticism welcome, but please be nice.

Please re-post and comment:)

I do NOT give permission for my work to be copied and posted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. PLEASE just reblog if you want to share my story!!

TAGLIST: @wintasssoldier

Part 4 Here

SONG: Finesse by Bruno Mars & Cardi B

Katherine had slept pretty well that night, in her new big bed. She had actually slept into the morning, for the first time in years. Her bed was surely a mess, and she probably had the worst bed head of her life. But for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt rested.

A soft humming sound started in her throat, as she rolled over in the bed, hearing her phone buzz against the nightstand. She stretched her arm out, blindly smacking her hand around before she finally felt her phone. One of her eyes slowly peeled itself open, just enough to look at her phone.

10 text messages, and 2 missed calls.

It was then that she finally looked at the time, both of her eyes snapping open. It was nearly eleven in the morning, far longer than she’d ever slept in before.

“Shit!”

She fell out of the bed with a loud plop, scurrying to get to the bathroom and start her day. As she turned the shower on, she went through her text messages.

Sage 7:46am ‘GOOD MORNING! Let me take Skadi out for a walk, then let me know when someone will come get me!’

Sage 8:03 ‘Skadi tried to drag me into the lake.’

Sage 8:30 ‘KATIE ARE YOU UP?’

Bucky 8:32 ‘Good morning, Katherine. I came to check on you, but you were so peacefully sound asleep.. I thought I’d just let you rest. I have meetings starting at 9, and hopefully will have a lunch break around noon. I hope you sleep well, and I’ll see you later (:’

Sage 9:10 ‘I’m ready whenever you are’

Sage 9:30 ‘…are you alive?’

Sage 9:47 ‘Did something happen..?’

9:52 Missed phone call, Sage

Sage 10:03 ‘I’m stopping by your house, or I guess your old house, grabbing a couple of things. Your dad isn’t here..’

10:13 Missed phone call, Sage

Sage 10:15 ‘Did I possibly steal someone’s phone number, because you left the letter on your desk? Yes, yes I did.’

Bucky 10:25 ‘Sage texted me. Steve’s about to head over to get her.. I know you said she worries a lot, but she seems pretty antsy to not hear from you. I told her that you were asleep, and she didn’t seem to believe me..?’

Katherine let out a long huff of air as she began brushing her teeth, reading all of the text messages. Her eyes rolled, reading the ones from Sage. But when she saw the texts from Bucky, she smiled. She hummed softly, her fingers tapping away on the glass screen.

‘Everything’s fine, I promise!! Would you believe me if I said that I slept in?’

‘Good morning! I’m so sorry, I don’t ever sleep in like this. Thank you for being so kind! Don’t worry about Sage, it’s just very uncharacteristic of me, lol’

She sent the first text to Sage and the second to Bucky, as she moved around the bathroom, prepping to get into the shower. Just as she was about to step into the shower, Sage texted her back.

‘…What?’

‘I was preparing myself to fight a mob, just so you know..’

‘Also.. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT STEVE WAS HOT!’

A rumble of a laugh passed Katherine’s lips, shaking her head as she quickly texted her back.

‘Lol I’m getting into the shower see you soon.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katherine decided to try and leave her hair down for the day, realizing she hasn’t had that opportunity in such a long time. Her hair was always in a slick bun, or a braid for work. It had been long enough that she was a bit surprised to see that the strands reached right above her rear. She had a hard time getting herself ready, her eyes glued to the body she saw in the mirror.. Noticing every detail that she despised about herself. She wasn’t a petite woman, that was for sure. Her hips were wide, thighs jiggling as she moved. Her tummy had a bit of a pooch, sticking out over her jeans, enough for her to grab between her fingers to fiddle with. Stretch marks across her hips and abdomen, even her thighs and breasts, from frequent weight changes. She would at least give herself credit for having nice curves.

A sharp rap of knocks at her bedroom door snapped her out of the daze.

“Hold on!” Her voice echoed through the bathroom, her bare feet padding across the tile as she pulled a shirt over her head.

“My hands are full or I would just come in anyways!” Sages voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Her hands were full?

Katherine pulled the door open, a confused look on her face as not only Sage but Steve as well both walked into her room with a few boxes and shopping bags. She continued with her confused expression, a hand on her hip as she watched them set everything in the TV area.

“So, I know that you’re not a very materialistic person,” Sage started, opening a few boxes, “But I also know.. That was never really a choice.”

Katherine walked towards them, peering into the boxes, “Okay…”

“I may have let it slip, that you’re a bit of an artist..” Sage shot her an innocent look, “I grabbed everything from my place that you had, and Bucky sent Steve and I out to get you new art supplies.”

Katherine’s eyes shot up, looking between the two blondes. She was silent for a moment, not sure what she wanted to say. Steve let out a soft sigh, a smile on his lips as he helped Sage take everything out from the bags

“He had already fully intended on taking you shopping.. But after talking to Sage,” His eyes went to her, a smile on his lips, “We all agreed you could use the surprise.”

Katherine stood there, dumbfounded. It wasn’t unlike Sage to try and take care of her, that wasn’t anything new. But the fact that it was Bucky, as well as Steve.. She watched as the two began taking things out, her eyes looking at all of the things.

“I also got a few things for you to decorate your room with.” Sage spoke, looking around the room. “This is the perfect spot!”

Sage stood up with a handful of rectangular frames in her hands. She walked over towards the television, and began placing them on the wall, trying to figure out the best spot for them. Katherine watched her for a moment, trying to look at the photos.. She could practically feel her heart swell, realizing what the pictures were. One was of Katherine and Sage, around the time they met. They were both so young.. Another was the two of them, a bit older, with a huge mess of paint. They both had big grins plastered on their faces, though she knew that after that moment they cleaned it all up. Next was a photo of them from their High School graduation..

“I thought you could use a few personal touches.”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a sweet smile, “Thank you.. Both.” She turned her smile to Steve, who just simply nodded his head, returning the smile.

Sage hummed softly, as she stuck the photos to the wall, satisfied with her arrangement. She then went back to all of the things on the table, and began to move some stuff around. Soon, all three of them were going around the room, decorating. Sage had suggested putting music on, and Katherine didn’t argue. The girls were dancing around the room, having a great time.. Katherine didn’t even notice that Steve had been gone for about fifteen minutes.

“Ooh, don't we look good together?

There's a reason why they watch all night long..

Yeah, know we'll turn heads forever..

So tonight I'm gonna show you off!”

Sages voice sang the words happily, both girls laughing as they danced around. Katherine smiled, walking into her closet to hang up the last of her clothes.. There wasn’t much, but it was at least a little better now. Sage had brought the clothes that Katherine left at her house, wanting her to have better options. Katherine had gone deep into her walk in closet, the music flooding her ears, and didn’t have any idea that Steve was back.. And that there was someone else in the room as well.

“You must be him.” Sage smiled, putting her hand out, “It’s good to officially meet you.”

Bucky offered her a kind smile, shaking her hand, “You too.” He glanced around the room, raising an eyebrow, “It looks nice. Thank you for doing this..” He seemed like he had more to say.

Sage hummed softly, “No problem. I’m just thankful that you’re not a big meanie,” She chuckled a bit, before lowering her voice, “She would kill me for saying anything… But I feel like it’s my job.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed on his face, listening intently. He could hear Katherine in the closet, humming along to the music. He wondered if she liked to sing.. But he was also very curious to know what Sage was about to tell him.

“I know way more about what you do, than she does.” Sage crossed her arms on her chest, looking directly to Bucky’s eyes, “She has no idea.. The reality of what she’s about to put herself in.”

Bucky nodded his head slowly, though his eyes narrowed a bit, “And just how do you think you know?”

Sage chuckled softly, proving his gaze ineffective, “Deputy Chief Alexandria Chambers.”

Bucky’s gaze softened, hearing the name. He looked to Steve, who simply nodded his head as if he already knew the information that was being revealed. He was confused.. How did she know her?

“She was my mother.”

Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat, “She was one of the best, that’s for damn sure.. I was very sorry to hear about her passing.”

Sage nodded her head slowly, “Thank you. She was always fair.. And I know that she was on your side of things. Well, you and your mob family.”

Bucky wasn’t exactly sure where this conversation was going, but he continued nonetheless, “I’m assuming that uhm..” He cleared his throat, “She made sure her daughter was well aware of the world she lived in.”

Sage nodded her head, “She was very thorough about it.” She seemed like she was about to say more, though a smile crept its was back onto her face when they could all hear Katherine’s voice.

“When I'm walkin' with you..

I watch the whole room change..

Baby, that's what you do..”

Katherine had absolutely no idea about the conversation that was taking place, as she hung up her clothes. If anyone had been paying close attention, they might have noticed the sweet smile that tugged on the corners of Bucky’s mouth. ‘She sounds wonderful..’

“Listen,” Sage looked to Bucky’s eyes, a serious expression on her face, “I just don’t want Katie to get caught in the crossfire of your world.” She let out a huff of air, “She deserves the best.. Even if she doesn’t think so herself.”

“No, my baby, don't play..

Blame it on my confidence..

Oh, blame it on your measurements..”

Steve walked over, grabbing the now empty bags. He was listening to Sage speak to Bucky, and he knew where she was going with her words.. Sage had told Steve quite a bit when they went shopping. She was quite the protective friend.. And for good reason. He glanced at Bucky, their eyes meeting for a moment. Bucky’s eyes shifted back towards Sage, and they watched each other for a moment, listening to Katherine sing. He put his hands on his hips, as the two of them shared a bit of a staring contest. Until Sages words broke the moment of silence between them.

“I will do anything for her.. Anything.” Sages eyes squinted, “I’m not trying to get on your bad side or anything.. I just want to make sure what your intentions are with her.”

Bucky watched Sage for another moment, and was starting to understand why she was interrogating him. “My intentions are what they’ve always been.. I intend on marrying Katherine someday.”

“But do you intend on loving her?” Sages words were sharp, and quite clear.

Bucky thought about those words, his eyes looking around the room. It’s not like he was heartless.. But love was never really on the table for him. Love was dangerous. It could be used against him.. Who would ever truly love a man like him anyways?

Sage shook her head, her eyes looking over the photos on the wall, “She deserves to be loved.. Taken care of.. And cherished.” Her lips curved downwards, “She hasn’t gotten much of that. Her mom died too soon, and her dad just became even more of a piece of shit.. Yet somehow, she’s still a ray of sunshine in this shitty world.. and I don’t want anything to diminish that.”

Steve cleared his throat, taking a few steps closer to them, “I can tell you that she’ll be well taken care of here, Sage.” He offered her a kind smile, before glancing at Bucky, “Even though everyone thinks that Buck is some scary monster.. A hard ass, who has no heart.. There’s a big ole teddy bear under that facade.. And I have a feeling that Katherine’s going to find him.”

Bucky glared at Steve, for saying such mushy words.. But, he could potentially be right.

Sage returned Steve’s smile, “I hope you’re right.. But I still want to know what Bucky’s thoughts are.”

Bucky took in a sharp breath, looking down at his shoes for a moment, trying to think over his words, “Steve’s right. Everyone does see me that way, and they’re not exactly wrong.” His eyes flicked up to Sage, “But I know how to be a gentle man, Sage. I would’ve never made a deal to marry someone, if I didn’t think I could… Be a decent husband.” He let out a soft breath, “I promise you that my intentions with Katherine are genuine. I will take care of her, and maybe we will grow to love each other.”

Sages lips curved up into a wide grin, and she brought her hands together, clapping them. “Well, alright then. Then I have a job for you.”

Both men’s facial expressions changed to one’s of confusion, looking between each other before turning their attention back to Sage.

“Katherine needs to change. She needs to learn that she deserves love.. And I want you to help me do that.”

Before Bucky could respond, the music suddenly stopped.

“Hey Steve, I was wondering if you-“

Katherine had come out of the closet, holding a clothing rod in both of her hands. Her eyes widened slightly, seeing that Bucky was standing there.. Her lips curved up into a sweet smile, their eyes locking. She felt her breath hitch in her throat, admiring his steel blue eyes.

“Hi.” Her voice came out soft, the grin on her face not faltering.

“Hey.” Bucky responded, his lips curving up to return the grin, “Uh, what happened?” He asked, pointing to the rod in her hands.

Katherine looked at it, then chuckled, “Fun fact, if you’re too short to reach something, just ask for help. Or you’ll end up taking down all of the clothes you just hung up.” Everyone in the room began chuckling, though Katherine’s cheeks tinted a light pink shade.

“I’m assuming you were about to ask for my help?” Steve finally asked, still chuckling a bit.

“Yeeaahhh..” Katherine chuckled softly, “It can wait until later..” She hummed for a moment, before looking between the three of them, “So.. What ‘cha guys up to?”

“Oh, I was just interrogating your new boyfriend, of course.” Sage grinned, sending Bucky a knowing look.

Katherine’s blush deepened, “Sage!” She scolded her, “We literally just met yesterday!”

Bucky’s lips turned up into a smirk, “Yeah, and I’m already introducing you to people as my girl.”

Sage raised an eyebrow, Steve tried to stifle a laugh. Katherine’s face was red as a beat, and thank god she didn’t have to come up with anything to say.. Because Annette knocked on the door, her warm smile peering into the room.

“Lunch is ready!” She announced, before motioning for everyone to follow her.

Bucky chuckled, sliding his hands into his pockets. His eyes watched as Sage grabbed Katherine’s hand, leading her out of the room. How cute. He couldn’t help the thought, seeing how she reacted to his words. Steve followed behind the girls, and Bucky went right behind him.

———

The next week went.. Well? Bucky had been pretty busy with a bunch of meetings, and Katherine found herself feeling pretty lonely. Sage had gotten stuck working overtime at the hospital, so Katherine didn’t really have anyone to talk to. She did, however, find herself in the kitchen a lot. Annette showed her where everything was, and was delighted to find out that Katherine was a quick learner. Baking, cooking, you name it. Annette started showing her everything that she knew.

“You know, I think Mr. Barnes has a soft spot for brownies..” Annette said, smiling as Katherine took them out of the pan.

“Really?” Katherine’s eyes looked at her, “You think.. You think it’d be okay if I took some up to him?”

Annette nodded, “If the door is closed, just make sure that you knock. But yes, I think he’d be pleasantly surprised.”

Katherine slowly nodded her head, and decided to grab a plate. She put four brownies on it, not knowing who else might be in his study with him.

“I’m going to finish up the laundry, then I’m done for the weekend!” Annette said, as she came around to the side of Katherine, taking a brownie.

“Alright, thank you for your help. Let’s hope that he likes them!”

Katherine took the plate in her hands, and started to make her way through the house. She was a bit nervous about going to Bucky’s study. She hadn't been in there since her first day here, and he’s been so busy lately.. Maybe brownies might be a nice offering. They hadn’t spent hardly any time together, shy of quick ‘Good morning’s before he had meetings. As she walked down the hall to the study, she found that the door was open. Perfect! She hummed softly, deciding to just walk in.

“Hey Bucky, I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.. But I made-“ Her words were cut short by the stares of five men.

Bucky stood at his desk, towering over scattered papers and files, a frustrated expression on his face. Steve stood next to him, the same kind of frustration.. There were three other men gathered in the room, none of which Katherine had met before. As soon as she had stepped into the room, all the men’s eyes snapped up to look at her. It startled her enough to make her stop dead in her tracks. She gripped the plate tightly, her eyes shifting between each man, finally landing on those icy blue orbs.

“Brownies..” Her last word finally came out, her voice much quieter than it started.

Her eyes glanced at all of the papers on the table, and they widened a bit when she realized what they were. Crime Scene Photos. As soon as she had that realization, the photos were all scooped up back into a Manila folder.

“Who the hell are you? Snoopy little bitch..” One of the men voiced, his words sharp. Italian. “Who said you could barge in here?”

Bucky’s head snapped towards him, and as he opened his mouth to speak, Katherine’s voice was first.

“Excuse me? I live here. If I feel like bringing my man some brownies, I’m quite sure I can do just that. And, the door was open.” Her words came out much stronger than she expected, so she kept that strength and walked further into the room. “Learn some manners, bitch.” She walked around to the side of the desk that Bucky was on, and he greeted her with what seemed like a proud smirk.

“You are quite correct, doll.” He hummed, her words feeding his ego a bit. My man. His eyes looked towards the man who voiced against Katherine, “You’re lucky you still have your tongue. Katherine is right, you should learn some manners.. That’s no way to speak to a woman, especially mine.”

Katherine felt a chill run through her, Bucky’s flesh hand resting on the small of her back. She gave him a warm smile, silently thanking him for his words.

The man in question scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Whatever. She just marched in here like she owns the place.”

This time, Bucky’s metal hand reached out. He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, pulling him to be halfway across the desk. Katherine let out a soft gasp, though Bucky’s flesh hand stayed gently on her back. Steve stepped around Bucky, putting Katherine between the two of them.

“Her name might not be on the title yet, but this is her home. And no one will speak to my girl like that. Next time, there will be no warning. Capiche?” Bucky’s voice was loud, commanding.. And it startled Katherine a bit.

The man’s eyes widened, his hand grabbing onto Bucky’s metal one, and he just nodded his head. Bucky finally let go of him, not until his eyes seemed to peer straight into his soul. The man stood up straight, fixing his shirt. Bucky’s gaze softened, turning towards Katherine once more.

“You made brownies?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. His voice was much softer towards Katherine.

She cleared her throat, nodding her head as she held the plate up, “I only brought four.. I wasn’t sure who all was in here..”

Bucky took one, giving her a grin, “Good thing there’s only four of us. Amato, you can leave.” He didn’t even look over to the man as he dismissed him.

The man grumbled something in another language, which Katherine assumed was Italian, before storming out of the room. The other two men looked between each other, before turning to look at Katherine with small smiles.

“Katherine,” Bucky hummed, “These are two of my best men. Clint Barton, and Bruce Banner. Bruce is the head of our science division, and Clint is head of the security team.”

Steve took a brownie as well, “It’s nice to meet you both.” Katherine smiled, extending the plate over the table.

“Likewise.” Clint said, nodding his head as he took a brownie. Bruce took the last one, giving her a nod with a smile.

Katherine watched as all four men began to eat the brownies. She hadn’t even tried one yet, so she wasn’t even sure if they were good or not. Though, based on their silence, and that they continued eating them..

“These are so good, Katherine.” Steve grinned, plopping the last bit of the brownie into his mouth.

“They really are.. Reminds me of my moms.” Clint said, a soft chuckle on his lips as he ate.

Bruce smiled, “Did you make these, or did Annette?”

Katherine couldn’t help but laugh at them, “Annette supervised, and I made them. Found an old recipe we wanted to try.”

Her eyes went up to Bucky’s face, still awaiting a reaction from him. His eyes were closed, as he slowly ate the brownie. A soft hum came from him, as he finished the brownie, his eyes opening to find hers looking at him.

“Delicious.”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a big smile, “I’m glad you guys liked them. I’m starting to really get into baking, maybe I can bring some stuff up for you guys every so often.”

Bucky smiled at her, his hand still on her back, “I think that’s a really nice idea.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment, Clint moving to collect all of the papers on Bucky’s desk. Katherine glanced at them, curious about what they were.. And why that man was so rude to her.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted something important.. The door was open, so I-“ Katherine’s words were cut short by Bucky raising his metal hand as if telling her ‘stop’.

“The door was open. You did nothing wrong, doll. Amato needs to learn his place, and keep his trap shut.” Bucky’s fingers on her back slowly began to caress her, sending another chill up her body.

Katherine nodded her head, though it didn’t exactly make her feel better.

“I think it was a shock to him though, hearing you talk to him like that.” Clint said, giving her a grin, “You’ll need that sharp tongue, being in this world.. Especially being Bucks girl.”

Katherine returned the grin, “Anyone who dares to calls me a bitch, will get this sharp tongue. I don’t care who they are. I’ve dealt with a life of assholes, I’m not doing it anymore.”

All four of the men began chuckling, Steve patting Katherine on the shoulder.

“No one will ever treat you badly, doll. If they do, they’ll have to answer for it.” Bucky said, the other men nodding their heads.

Katherine’s eyes looked up to Bucky’s, searching.. All she could see was a strong, kind man. He wasn’t as scary as people made him out to be. He had only been kind to her.. She almost couldn’t believe that there was blood on his hands. She gave him a small smile, nodding her head.

“Alright boys. Now that this is taken care of..” Bucky motioned towards the folders, “I’m done for the weekend. I’ve been putting a few things off, trying to get this done.” His eyes glanced back down to Katherine.

Steve chuckled softly, nodding his head. Bruce nodded his head, “It was nice to meet you Katherine, thanks for the brownie.”

Clint smiled, “Yeah, it was nice to have a snack.”

“Of course.” Katherine smiled to them, watching as all three men walked out of the room, closing the door behind them.

“So…” Bucky cleared his throat.

Katherine raised an eyebrow, turning her body in his hand to face him, “So?”

He let out a soft breath, “I’m sorry that I haven’t spent any time with you, Katherine. Business has just..” he shook his head, “It can be very time consuming at times.”

Katherine shook her head, gently resting her hand on the arm that was still around her, “Don’t. I understand, you’re a very busy man.”

He smiled, lifting the hand from her back to gently caress her cheek with a finger. Katherine’s lips parted ever so slightly, her breath getting caught in her throat.

“Well.. I intend on spending the weekend with you.” He hummed softly, “I’d like to take you to dinner tonight.”

“Is it.. A date?” She asked, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

He chuckled softly, “As long as you want it to be..”

Katherine’s lips curved up into a happy smile, “Well, we’ve got to start somewhere, yeah? I think a date is just what we need.. You need to solidify the fact that you call me your girl.” Her words were meant as obvious teasing.

“Oh? Well, you did come into my study, and call me your man.” His lips quirked into a handsome smirk, “I think we’re on the same page, don’t you?”

“Hmm.. I suppose we’ll see, depending on how well our date goes. Maybe we’ll get somewhere.” Her expression changed to match his.

“Maybe.. I’ll steal our first kiss tonight.” His words were soft, barely above a whisper.

Katherine’s cheeks darkened, “O-Oh yeah?”

“Only if you want me to, of course..” His fingers cupped her face gently, “I don’t want to force you into anything, doll.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” Her voice was soft, her eyes peering deeply into his.

“I hope not.. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day we met.”

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