#i would /dearly/ love to know what went on in the early development of this movie

[belladonnaprice]

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[vote-gaara]

What are some of the cringiest things he's said

Y'know, I love Gaara so much. If he were real, I'd take a bullet for him - go to war for him, even. For him I have literally delved into the darkest depths of hyper-fixation and character worship that is definitely not normal, nor healthy.

And y'know what I discovered?

To truly appreciate a character to their very core is to look at them as a complex individual with both horrible flaws and outstanding feats.

And so I ask that you join me in absolutely lampooning Gaara for the benefit of character analysis, because although we love him dearly, he has said and done some truly cringe things that I, for one, love him for. So let's gooooo...

Cringiest things Gaara has ever said:

So before I really get into this, I gotta say that all of these things (except for one) have come from chunin Gaara. Now don't get me wrong, when I first read this series, I didn't think Gaara was cringe at all; in fact, I thought that his character "went hard" as the kids say these days (if they do say that), but as I've matured, and Gaara's character developed, I can look back at those early days and be like "oh...yikes....that was definitely a little cringe-worthy!" EVEN THOUGH when I was a teenager, I was thinking the exact opposite.

"It annoys me you'd lose control in a quarrel with children" and "You're a disgrace to our village" - Chapter 35 Okay, so this isn't really that cringe on the surface level, and it isn't cringy when Gaara is first introduced. In fact, Gaara seems kinda noble (though scary) here because he is stopping Kankuro from wailing on some kids he just met...But...In the context of who Gaara is, this is really cringy because it's so hypocritical of him, which almost makes it kinda depressing, too. It's clear that Gaara is labelling Kankuro a "disgrace to our village" even though it's Gaara who is carrying that burden because of how Suna sees him...Definitively a bit of sad projection on Gaara's part. Which, speaking about "losing control in a quarrel with children" Gaara literally becomes unhinged and blows an entire operation by "losing to a quarrel" soooooo... Also....Gaara...you're 12, and referring to children as if they aren't only like 5 years younger than you is a little funny (but kinda sweet too).

Any instance of "shut up or I'll kill you" directed at Kankuro Cringy because if you have siblings, you get it. You can say some mean things to your brothers and sisters while growing up together, especially over really dumb stuff, and then when you all mature and get older, you turn around and (hopefully) laugh about it later. Again this isn't really cringy in the moment, but definitely a little cringe when you know how the story plays out and the two brothers become BFFs. Also Gaara never acted on these threats, he was just doing it to bully Kankuro, which made a weird dynamic where Kankuro was both terrified of Gaara but also willing to still do and say stuff that always made Gaara threaten him. They're just both a bunch of squabblers, honestly.

"Bitter crimson tears flow from life-less eyes..." -Chapter 58/59 Not the whole quote, but man when I was a teenager, I though this was soo deep and cool. However, now I read that and it's just like: "awww....he wrote a...poem, I guess."

All of chapter 97 Where he's explaining to Shikamaru and Naruto a bit of his backstory while he's attempting to kill Lee at the hospital. This really isn't cringe in the generic "second hand embarrassment" way but more cringe as in wincing at something that makes you so empathetic that you have to shake it off. You can really tell in this chapter how hurt Gaara is, and how much self-hatred he holds for himself. I mean, even reading the chapter now you can tell how much in bothered him that he "took the like of a woman he would have called mother." He references it so many times and it just breaks my heart how much he loved and cared about Karura, even when he was lost. Then him talking about "needing a reason to live or he may as well be dead" just shows that he thinks of himself as a failure because he wasn't able to be the perfect military weapon for his terrible father. Just ugh...UGH! Kills me.

"To verify my existence" - Chapter 99 He says this to Baki when Baki asks him where he thinks he's going, and the statement just gives off hilarious "moody teenager" vibes.

When Gaara is spying on Sasuke during the Chunin exams (I forget what chapter) Essentially Gaara and Sasuke are having this really intense conversation about having a fight to the death over who can be the saddest person, when Kakashi is just like "wait, you're talking about some type of fight to the death???" I don't know... but Kakashi's line always cracks me up because one minute he's training Sasuke, and the next minute he's spectating two 12 year old boys swearing their life long rivalry and how much they want to kill each other, and I can just imagine Kakashi is thinking "why are all the children I know like this???".

Also, when Gaara is fighting Sasuke in the arena and he's being manipulated by Shukaku, he says some pretty cringy things, but he gets a pass cause it wasn't his fault.

Oh, and I don't think this is cringy, but Temari thought it was pretty bone-headed when Gaara asked "what are your hobbies?" to the woman he was supposed to marry in Gaara Hiden.

I didn't find that cringe, though. Just adorable.

Thanks for the question! I'm actually glad Gaara started off saying some pretty wild things, because it really show cases just how far he's come, and his growth and resilience is honestly what makes me love him so much.

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

I feel like the DDMG Turtles are going to be really weird kids. Some of its due to The Horrors TM, because even excluding all the supernatural stuff that goes on in this au, these kids have been through hell. But there's a good chunk of stuff that can only really be explained by the fact they're being raised by a ghost/ rat demon hybrid thing and living in Splinter's Domain.

This ended up being mostly me rambling about how prolonged exposure to domains/ the astral plane can effect humans. Under a readmore cause it got longer than I was expecting.

I think fairy land rules apply here, in that if you enter a ghost's domain, because you've essentially gone to the spirit world, you're not going to leave the same as you went in. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn't mean someone who's gone into a Domain once and then left immediately is going to turn into a demon or whatever. For most people it just means that spirits and demons can look at them and know this person has been to the spirit world.

But the DDMG Turtles didn't just enter a Domain, stay for a minute, then left and never interacted with a Domain ever again. By the time the Pied Piper of New York ends, at the low end (so Donnie, Raph and Leo) they've spent a few hours in a Domain which is still more than most humans, and at the high end Mikey has been spending at least two hours everyday in a Domain for several months.

After Piper ends, Mikey's brothers will catch up with him hours wise, which means all four kids are spending a lot of time everyday in the spirit world. And they do end up moving in with Splinter and living in the Lair full time. I think it's been a long time since a living human spent so much time in the astral plane.

This kinda means that they're going to be affected by the spirit world a hell of a lot more than someone who dipped in and out of a Domain.

Bare minimum they're going to stand out a lot more to ghosts and demons. Best way I can think to describe it right now is that other human's spirits are like fireflies, but the Turtles' are like suns. Other humans can kinda tell there's something different about them, but the vast majority of people won't be able to figure out what, so most would just assume it was a nd thing they were picking up on. And to be fair the DDMG boys are all neurodivergent, so that's not an entirely wrong assumption to make.

I've not really figured out fully what this means for the Turtles, outside of the fact that death is going to be a bit different for them compared to most people, and that they might end up having cores whilst still being living humans. Like I think all humans in DDMG technically have cores, it's just that whilst you're alive the core isn't fully developed, and upon death it matures. But because the DDMG Turtles have been living in the spirit world and spending so much time around Splinter, theirs might start doing that early. So they're still human, but they've always got one metaphorical foot in the astral plane, and that plane and all its inhabitants recognise that.

This isn't something Splinter was aware of, and I don't think the other ghosts of New York knew it would happen, otherwise they'd have told Splinter... actually, they'd have told Garson, who'd tell Splinter. It's very important to Splinter that his sons get to have as normal a life as possible and this is a man who had his humanity slowly ripped from his fingers over the span of years. DDMG Splinter is intimitately aware of what it's like to slowly lose your humanity and become Something Else, so if he knew being at the Old House would slowly change the boys into something that's still human but slightly to the left, he'd have told them and let them decide what they wanted to do. He loves them dearly, and if the Turtles decided that they wanted to live somewhere else because of what his Domain was (unknowingly) doing to them, he'd accept it and do what he could to help them sort things out.

As things stand, by the time Splinter and the Turtles find out about the effects a Domain can have on a living human, the boys have already been permanently changed and part of them has decided that the astral plane is their home.

And, even if that wasn't the case, I think they'd still decide to stay with Splinter. They love him, he's their father, and they'd much rather live with him and deal with that bridge when they get to it.

[ohchosen]

GET TO KNOW THE WRITER - VAL EDITION !

what  made  you  pick  up  the  current  muse(s)  you  have?   i  first  played  ffxv  back  in  the  fall  of  2017  and  fell  head  over  heels  in  love  with  the  game.  to  this  day  i  don’t  think  there’s  ever  been  a  cast  of  characters  that’s  had  such  a  lasting  impact  on  me  as  the  boys  have,  and  at  this  point  ever  will.  i  actually  first  started  off  writing  prompto,  sometime  in  early  2018  and  shortly  thereafter  kind  of  fizzled  out  of  that  because  i  was  new  and  super  shy  and  didn’t  really  know  anyone  in  the  community.  i  was  around  18/19  then  and  actually  took  a  break  from  tumblr  for  a  little  while,  but  always  kept  in  touch  with  the  xv  community  on  twitter/instagram  so  the  love  i  had  never  went  away.  fast  forward  to  2020  and  after  replaying  the  game  i  decided  to  pick  up  noctis  who  at  that  point  had  been  my  end  all  comfort  character  for  a  few  years.  he very quickly became my little pincushion and then unintentionally a processing tool i used to process a lot of issues in my own life. i notice  a  lot  of  nuance  in  my  old  notes  and  ramblings  that  100%  reflect  my  struggles  at that  time and its like huh! wow! didnt know it did that. regardless, noctis is the muse i hold most dearly to my heart and someone i will love for the rest of my life. < he 3

is  there  anything  you  don’t  like  to  write?  ive  seen  it  all  brother.  i  can  be  convinced  with  one  skimmed  over  ao3  tag  and  then  some.  regardless,  i  don’t  have  any  hard  no’s  that  aren’t  the  incredibly  obvious,  and  i  think  rp  is  a  great  way  to  develop  and  analyze  your  likes  and  dislikes  in  a  safe  environment.  it’s  okay  to  be  into  something  in  one  thread  and  then  change  your  mind  later,  that’s  something  i  had  to  learn  the  long  way  but  i'm  better  off  for  it!

is  there  anything  you  really  enjoy  writing?  i  really  love  angst.  not  sure  what  happened  developmentally  to  get  here  but  we’re  here.  i  think  that  shows  a  lot  in  my  preferred  range  of  media  i  write  in  (or  just  consume  casually,)  there’s  just  a  certain….  je  ne  sai  quoi  🤌  in  writing  your  character  going  through  the  absolute  extremes  of  the  human  experience.  besides  that,  i  really  go  crazy  with  character  analysis/general  meta.  i  love  to  deep  dive  into  mundane  (or  otherwise)  aspects  of  a  character  and  build  up  traits  to  fully  flesh  out  a  muse. 

do  you  write  in  silence  or  do  you  play  music?  i  need  complete  silence  or  i  will  literally  never  finish  a  sentence.  i  am  way  too  scatterbrained  to  focus  on  two  things  at  once  and  need  to  lock  the  fuck  in  when  i’m  writing  a  reply. 

do  you  plan  your  replies  or  wing  them?  who  do  i  look  like  shakespeare.  i’ve  never  planned  out  a  thing  in  my  life  im  consistently  operating  strictly  off  vibes. 

do  you  enjoy  shipping?  im  a  dirty  little  shipping  whore. shipping is god's gift to the planet what else would i do if not daydream about my two little guys passionately kissing in a field of wheat.

what’s  your  alias/name?  val  :3  my  psn  tag  is  a  variant  of  valkyrie,  and  after  i  was  tired  of  my  old  alias  i  looked  there  for  inspiration.  say  thank  you  god  of  war  (2018)  for  shooting  me  into  another  norse  mythology  frenzy,  feels  just  like  middle  school. 

age  &  birthday?  my  golden  birthday  is  this  july  (25th)!!!  ((mild  existential  dread))

favorite  color?   green,  brown,  black  and  purple❗️

favorite  song?  recently  rediscovered  since  u  been  gone  by  kelly  clarkson.  having  daily  religious  experiences  for  it. 

last  movie  you  watched?  lord  i  have  no  idea.  i  don’t  watch  too  many  movies  and  the  last  one  i  can  place  is  catching  the  second  half  of  47  meters  down  when  i  was  having  dinner  with  my  dad  a  few  weeks  ago.  yay  sharks.  and  mandy  moore!!!!

last  show  you  watched?  i  love  a  good  netflix  documentary  and  i  just  finished  one  called  the  program:  cons,  cults  and  kidnapping,  which  was  about  exposing  the  troubled  teen  industry.  it’s  a  super  interesting  watch  but  deals  with  quite  a  few  heavy  topics  so  if  you’re  interested  please  heed  caution!   i  also  just  started  american  nightmare,  but  im  only  about  30-ish  minutes  into  the  first  episode….  gotta  lock  in. 

last  song  you  listened  to?  according  to  spotify  it  was  safari  song  by  greta  van  fleet  but  according  to  the  fortnite  festival  session  i  just  had  it  was  carry  on  my  wayward  son  by  kansas.  literal  war  flashbacks. 

favourite  food?   dude  there’s  this  fucking  sandwich  place  by  my  house  and  they  literally  make  the  best  chicken  sandwich  i’ve  ever  had.  imagine  grilled  chicken  on  a  brioche  bun  w  cheddar,  bacon,  a  corn  salsa  and  slathered  in  chili  aioli.  walk  with  me.  it  sounds  wack  but  it’s  SO  GOOD.  i  dream  about  her…

favorite  season?  i  love  winter  i  love  being  cold  and  tucked  into  my  electric  blanket  listening  to  the  rain  outside.  all  of  you  summertime  elitists  need  to  get  off  my  lawn. 

do  you  have  a  tumblr  best  friend?   i  have  my  gaggle  of  tumblr  friends  turned  irl  friends  in  my  pockets  at  all  time  and  i  wouldn’t  trade  any  of  them  for  the  world.  i  met  one  of  my  oldest  friends  in  ye  olde  supernatural  rp  back  in  2013?  and  over  ten  years  later  WE’RE  STILL  FUCKING  HERE.  so  many  of  the  most  important  people  in  my  life  i’ve  met  through  tumblr and the amount of shit we've seen through the rpc's we've been in has bonded us all for eternity lmfao.

tagged by: @13nth thank u tea my love :* tagging: my homies @sherez @tactition @liegacy + anyone who's interested :3

[april-lilies]

(In response to your OC ask) Since you've been away with The Bird, have you created/published any new OCs tumblr hasn't had the privilege of seeing yet? Can you tell us a little about them and what they're like?

Ahahahaha, absolutely. Many, in fact. A friend of mine and I started an RP in a 90s Japan band setting and over the last 1.5 years we've gone ham. Gone ham to the point I'd like to work on reformatting and developing the story for an eventual webcomic (famous last words). Jin even gets a new AU in it, one where he gets to be an asshole w/o quite so much suffering, lol.

While there are a good number of characters for it, and I'm only responsible for half of them, I guess I'll introduce my main two at least?

Shuuhei 'Shuu' Tagawa

Gruff asshole on the outside, recovering from trauma dead on the inside. Where the story starts, his biggest hardships are behind him and it more or less follows him struggling to heal & to reconcile his past (often with help of his bf, who is one of my friend's characters).

I can't draw him right for shit. The first image is probably more ~1994 body type (toned but more slender). Second image is more ~1997 (beef).

His initial design was inspired by Penicillin's Hakuei.

Shouta 'Show-Ya' Maeda

My sweet, sweet crossdressing baby boy who eventually turned into a petty bitch. First image is of him in ~1989 in the story, second is ~1994 (where the story begins). He comes off as haughty and egotistical, but deep down he's hurt and doesn't know how to deal with it in a healthy way. The story kinda goes both backwards and forwards, explaining how he went from sweet darling to petty bitch, then forward. One of my friend's characters is extremely integral to him & his development/progression.

He was originally supposed to be a sort of cartoon villain antagonist to Shuu, but holy shit development went off the rails with him and now he's more or less my main character now (sorry Jin). I love him dearly and may have shed a real tear or two writing certain parts of his story <_<;

His initial design (second picture) was inspired by early Lareine era Kamijo.

If I ever did make a webcomic, it more or less would follow one tour of two bands and the relationships, past and present, between the characters.

IDK man, I could ramble about these two for a very long time. If anyone has any specific questions, feel free to send an ask.

[havethetouch]

FYI older art uploads in ze future

Idk how much far I go back with my uploads but like I prolly go for a bit maybe even early 2000s so lots of art uploads from way back lie ahead xd I still love most of them dearly and I think it's important to keep old art around in galleries or somewhere people can still get to it because those are where I come from, those are where my style developed from bit by bit those are where many of my OCs came from too and idk I wanna share that with people. I want you to see from where I started roughly (roughly because the really old stuff is harder for me to find I started uploading stuff to the internet when i was like.. uh 14/15, I would need to find, re-scann and also erase my deadname from a lot of stuff, bc back then I did not have a nifty signature that nobody can possible read) when I began uploading my stuff to the internet and how things just slowly but surley geared mostly towards ladies and hair and wings and details and my love for thicc lineart. Funny side note on the line art though? My very first OC artworks were made with a fountain pen from school with black ink in it and a broad tip, so my lines were naturally broad due to the nature of my pen. (which I also used for writing, in school, bc I was still in school back then and it feels like forever ago while I am writing this fuck XD) Sometime soon though I found thin liners that did not smudge with copics like my ink did so I entered the dubious zone of touch does thin lines forever, then goes back to his roots and makes it thicc. Anyway... what I'm trying to say is, I think it's nice to see an artists journey, and I love it to pieces when I can catch glimpses of peoples old art and see were they came from/started out from. So yeah imma slowly go through my stuff and bring old stuff back online. I used to have a gallery (on DA) that went all the way back almost to the beginnings but I changed accounts in 2011/12 to my new artist handle (back then in ye olden days name changes were not yet a thing on DA) and while the younger account still exists I have everything thrown into storage because fuck DA. I keep my "archive" there until they get funny ideas like deleting accounts of inactive users or whatever. But it's no longer public and like I said only goes back to 2011/12 anyway so yah. Like i said i do not know how much of the really old stuff is gonna come back online but I'd like to bring some of it back. Guess Imma go tag my art posts with the years they were made in too for filtering purposes xd But just fyi I also have a FurAffinity account were I am basically also try to do something similar and have a whole folder structure dedicated to years of creation for the very same purpose. Just in case that's more convenient for some of you but I am in no way caught up with uploads there either. Nb4 it comes up: I am currently too lazy for a personal website were I could go chronological madness. Mainly bc I know myself I would fucking take forever to just design a layout and get super anal about everything else and loose patience long before uploading anything so I am doing the responsible thing and not do that. At least not anytime soon. I have my projects planned out for 2023 already with some pockets for arttrades 'n stuff I am booked out XD

[dumbjockgirl]

To everyone that makes it their entire life/online existence to hate a show and spread that hate, claim that their side isn’t heard, etc. this isn’t specific to SPoP, as I’ve seen it in LoK and SU, but for example SPoP:

There are other shows for you to watch and spend your time loving so dearly instead of complaining and hating that one, let people enjoy things

I promise you that everyone knows and thought about everything you have said or thought. Maybe not everything, but the gist. It’s not— There’s a difference between ‘critical’ and critical thinking. Critical thinking involves, I like to say, thorough and deep thought including all possible reasons and questions etc., think Socrates and other philosophers.

A ‘critical’, which just call yourself critic because that’s what it is, is completely different. It’s holding the highest standards and expectations and being upset they aren’t met and deciding things for yourself and creating your version of everything to be how you wanted it, this going Out Of Character. There is no character development here, there is only ‘well she’s like that so she will never have a better life which involves getting over herself or certain things’. It’s putting one single character on a pedestal and declaring they can’t do anything wrong. That bad things only happen to them and they don’t deserve it. That nobody else on the show or whatever is good enough for them so you make a character for them, or choose one from a completely different show( early LoK days of Asami Sato x Nightwing) and put them together. We love AUs, but it’s not an AU for these that hate this show so much, it’s The Way it Should Be.

We do so much critical thinking about everything that happens in these shows, those of us who actually enjoy it. We go so deep. For example, we get really deep into how Catra has treated people and how she has treated Adora. Dive into her feelings, dive into how CATRA is just as abused as ADORA but not always the same way. How Adorable has been unintentionally abusive and not as good a friend as she tries because it goes BOTH ways sometimes. One person isn’t always the victim, they can do both and you have to keep that in mind when you think why things have happened. They both get through it because they only did these things because that’s all they knew.

Even in a nice ‘utopia’ like Brightmoon, Glimmer was still a little abusive or manipulative when Bow wanted to go to the prom with Perfuma when they went as friends all the time. Glimmer and Catra learned they can have more friends and so can their beloved have more friends. It’s a whole thing that if you just hate it all, you wouldn’t even notice it, you’ll just think wow they treat the one character like shit they’re just horrible nothing else.

If they don’t learn immediately, like in SU, that they shouldn’t do something then it will be a big thing later. Like when Pearl lied about Peridot having rebuilt the signal to transmit a message so she and Garnet can fuse again, she learned towards the end that she shouldn’t have done that and that it was selfish and manipulative. She didn’t get immediate forgiveness, either, which getting would be totally unrealistic.

For the most part, it’s about learning that something you did was wrong whether it’s immediate or later because recovery isn’t a straight line. Don’t spend your life or even part of it just hating things and making the world know it. For example, I hate MLP and I don’t have a blog dedicated to it, I don’t even make posts about it, I just block and move on. It would be ironic to hate even a specific couple and put a pic of that couple in a kinda gay situation as the header of my blog when I hate it. It’s like the show didn’t teach the hater/anti anything at all.

[blindbatalex]

So I’ve been rereading the first two chapters of your marcheron soulbond WIP (as I await with bated breath for updates), and something that always give me pause is the scene where Bergy goes to drop off the jersey at the cafe and is mistaken for a hookup of Brad’s.

I’m really curious how dating would work in a soulbond universe, like I imagine there would be dating apps dedicated to matching you specifically with your soulmate, right? But it would be different from current dating apps, because the categories are aimed at narrowing you down to find one very particular person among 7 billion. Almost more like a 23&me or something, where you need the database to be large enough to be useful. People probably upload photos of their soulmarks and then you can use filters to search for what you want? And there would be all sorts of other interesting soulbond categories (like they can probably set up meetups for those with timestamp soulmarks to meet). And then there’s probably apps specifically dedicated to hookups only so there’s no messiness or pressure of getting emotionally involved.

In this world, wouldn’t it be less common for one night stands to develop into something more, when there’s always the expectation that there’s only the one person out there for you, so other romantic relationships could easily be seen as placeholders in the meantime? So wouldn’t Brad only doing casual relationships at the moment be more of the norm for folks who haven’t met their soulmates, rather than those hookups Kelsey mentioned who wanted more from him?

All of which is to say I’m fascinated by the relationship rules of your universe, and in particular, Brad’s dating life and everything leading up to the moment your fic actually begins. (I would dearly love to have the moment where he actually figured out who his soulmate is.) Given how mysterious and ungovernable the human heart is, throwing the implacable idea of a soulmark/soulbond into this universe probably simplifies things in some ways, but would seem to cause so much more emotional distress in others (hence it’s right up your alley haha). And I can’t wait to read more!

Oh man, I saw this ask right before I went to bed after the game last night and it made my wholeass night; people engaging with the inner workings of any AU verse is great and triply so for this one, so thank you! The rest under the cut because it got long.

You hit the nail right on the head with your second to last sentence. Soulmate AUs have always read as a little dystopian to my on the aroace spectrum ass so I thought let me explore all of those implications in my own writing. You know how sometimes you meet someone and you immediately hit it off and feel like you could spend hours just talking to them? To me, as the writer, that is what a soulbond is -- that and the fact that barring early death and so on, you are guaranteed to meet them. Any additional meaning people imbue to that bond is as societal a construct as anything. But of course, both of our narrators buy into that contemporary Western allo notion of 'your soulmate is The romantic partner for you' framework, which complicates things. The other thing I should have perhaps established more strongly in the first two chapters is that not everyone has a soulmate in this verse.

So then when it comes to dating: you are absolutely right that it would be less common for one night stands to develop into something more in this verse. But for one, a good portion of the population (maybe 20-30%?) are unmarked, so they have to find love like the rest of us do. And even for people who have soulmates -- if you don't meet them before you are 21, or 25, or 30, what do you do in the meanwhile? Opinions would diverge on this, I think. Some people, like Brad, don't want to date at all, because what's the point when your true The One is out there, waiting for you? But other people might -- the same way you and I may embark on short term relationships even if we don't want or see it leading to e.g. marriage -- perhaps with the implicit understanding that if either party meets their soulmate in the meanwhile, they will call it a day. (And man, there are so many stories you can tell about the ungovernable human heart within that space -- if you already have a partner you love dearly, is that instant connection you have with your soulmate worth throwing away what you have? And if you don't, won't a part of you always wonder about what you could have had?) And also another important question: who is Kelsey? How informed or reliable is her opinion on Brad and the people he sleeps with?

Then, w/r/t online dating: for one, this fic is currently set in ~2009, which is actually the year Grindr launched. So online dating exists but is much less of a thing then than it is now. I actually didn't give it much thought before your ask, because given that you know you will meet your soulmate eventually via natural means, why try to force that connection? But I think you are so right: and in fact maybe this is a controversy in their universe, with on one hand, people who don't want to wait until they are 30 to meet the One, and on the other, people who think trying to force a meeting will mess things up. I am also SO interested in the pop culture around soulmates within the verse, which Brad is as well, and thanks to you, I might just work some of this in later on 👀

Lastly, your ask made me interrogate why Patrice hasn't reacted to the implications re Brad's soulmate situation when he talks to Kelsey, which I think will make the upcoming chapters stronger, so thank you! And re how Brad found out who his soulmate is -- *I* have always known and it is coming, perhaps as early as the next chapter depending on how the editing goes :D

[technowoah]

Wait imagine a fic where Jack and the reader are long distance or something and when Tubbo and Tommy are doing the man hunt irl the reader surprises Jack.

That would be cute I think 🤔

Just One Livestream

You surprise Jack with a spontaneous visit to the UK, little did you know that they were livestreaming.

- Jack Manifold x gen neutral!reader

- Anon Requested!

⚠︎ swearing, fluff!, not proofread

an// I hope yall enjoy! Much love! And sorry it came out so late I have no inspiration rn but imma get it done! Also I used the difference of American hours to London hours so sorry of

Navigation!

"Love, why are you up early?" Jack asked through the phone.

You two were facetiming eachother as he propped his phone up on his dashboard while he started to drive. It was around 1 am for you and 6 am for Jack. Sadly you two were in a long distance relationship. You had met Jack when you were on a college trip to London to study abroad for 3 weeks. You were sad that you had to leave your home country, but this was a opportunity you couldn't oppose.

During this trip you had found a cafe that you would go to often. The first time you sat at the cafe alone you always noticed it was only you and this other man in the cafe. He was always on his computer and sat by a window, he always came early too, even earlier than you. As the days went on you continued to see him around more and he seemed to notice you as well. You made a note to yourself to always try and show up a tad bit earlier to the cafe to stay around the same time as he did.

You two got to know eachother throughout the three weeks you had to stay in London. The small nods became hellos, and the hellos turned into full on conversation by the window. He had told you his name was Jack Manifold and was kind of surprised when you didn't immediately know who he was. To him it was refreshing not to be immediately noticed based on his appearance. You both had exchanged numbers one day and after each morning you two would text non stop even during your classes. Luckily trying to get to know Jack changed your sleep schedule and because of that you always made it to class on time.

Jack was such an amazing guy to you, but during the first week you had developed a small crush on the man, and he had developed a crush on you too. The second week you two had ventured out onto different territory than the cafe. Jack started to call those small outings after class, dates and you weren't opposed to the dates at all you loved them. The second and third week were mostly dates and the night before you left he asked to be your boyfriend and of course you accepted not knowing the pain of a long distance relationship.

You had to answer his question on why you were up so early. "Yeah- Um, Im up because of you." You chuckled. "You changed my sleep schedule ever since I met you."

"Well you're welcome, because before me I heard you were missing classes." Jack payed attention to the road but still talked to you.

"Because I told you! And I am grateful, but there is nothing to do at one am here." You sighed while you started to walk around your room as you lied to him.

Jack was talking to you while you did a clean sweep around your house to check if you had everything for your trip.

Two weeks ago you had decided to pack your bags and take a trip back to London. Right now your flight will be leaving early in the morning and that's why you are up so early.

You wanted to surprise Jack instead of straight up telling him that you will be in the country. You missed him dearly, and this will be a great way to spend time together instead of seeing eachother across a screen. One of you had to make that sacrafice and that would be you.

While Jack continued to talk you checked everywhere to make sure you arent leaving anything behind.

"What are you doing, darling?" Jack asked and that snapped you out of your trance. "Are you even listening to me? Im hurt." Jack faked being hurt.

You smiled at him and shook your head. "Im sorry I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, when you were ignoring me, that I'm going to the cafe right now and that we should plan a trip soon. I miss you." Jack confessed and you awed.

"I miss you too Jack! I hopw we can see each other soon." You tried to contain your smile as you hid your surprise.

"Me too."

Your plane finally landed as you let out a sigh of relief. You had collected all of your shit fast so you could finally get off of that horrible plane. Every stereotypical airplane scene happened to you in the hours you were on that plane. You had a child crying behind you with a mother who couldn't keep that child calm, you were sat next to a man who snored the whole ride here and you just felt cramped.

Sadly you couldn't return any of Jack's messages or calls that you saw when you were in the airplane terminal. You tried calling him twice but they both went to voicemail while you rolled your bag through the huge building. Finding yourself outside you ordered an Uber and once you did that your phone began to ring showing Jack's name and picture of you two together on the screen.

You quickly answered the phone. "Hey!"

"Hi!" Jack chuckled. "I called like, 17 times!"

"I know! Im sorry. I was busy." You weren't lying getting a plane and basically leaving early in the morning and arriving in the afternoon in London. "So, what are you doing today?"

"I am hanging out with Tommy and Tubbo at the park! Im picking them up now!" Jack responded and you heard him close his car door.

"Which park?" You asked quickly as you saw your Uber arrive.

Jack started to laugh. "Uh I'll text you the park I guess. Why would you want to know?"

"No reason! I just want to make sure you are safe. Dont make me call 999." You tried to joke around and take the attention off of your question.

"I cant believe you still remember 999." Jack laughed.

"I still do!" You said as you got inside your Uber and gave the driver the directions to your hotel forgetting that Jack was on the other line.

"Wait hotel?" Jack questioned through the phone.

"Hotel? What are you talking about?" You acted oblivious.

"I- I thought you were talking about a hotel." Jack hesitated.

"No!" You tried to cover up your mistake.

"Well Im going to pick up Tommy soon. I'll talk to you later okay? Answer my calls this time!" Jack chuckled.

"I definitely will!"

You had recived the name of the park you were surprising Jack at. You began to walk around the parking lot after you got dropped off and noticed his car sitting there. There were tons of people at the park today and you didn't know where he would be. As you walked on the dirt trails of the park your thoughts took over, what if you made a mistake and should've told Jack that you were here in London and wanted to meet up at the cafe?

You looked at people as they passed by you ok the trail wishing that you had that energy that you had before, thinking that you would find Jack easily when in reality you were in a busy part of the park and he could be anywhere.

When you thought all hope was lost you heard some loud voices on the trail to your right. You were already walking aimlessly through the park and your first instinct was to go left and walk away from the loud voices, but then you heard something.

"Tommy this was a bad idea!"

"I dont think it was!"

You stood in the "intersection" of the dirt trails thinking that you heard those voices right. You rounded the corner and followed right to see Tommy and Jack doubled over, out of breath while Tubbo was still standing up breathing heavily. There were far away from you, but not far away that you couldn't see them clearly.

You began to call out to them. "Tommy! Jack! Tub-"

They quickly turned around and took off running. Confused on why they were doing that you took off running after them trying to tell them to stop. They were yelling and you were yelling and getting weird glances from stangers, and you dont blame them. You're chasing after your boyfriend and his two friends in a quiet public park. You continued to hear their groans of tiredness and their speed started to slow down.

"Jack! Tommy! Wait up!" You yelled out of breath as you slowed down as well.

"We give up! We give up!" Tubbo yelled and came to a complete stop while trying to catch his breath. He turned around to finally face you. "Y/N?!"

"Wait what?!"

"You're here?!" Jack ran up to you and gave you a bone crushing hug, rocking you two back and forth.

"I am! And Im our of breath thanks to you three." You said while still hugging Jack.

"M'sorry I thought you were a fan and I took off and they followed suit I guess." Tommy rubbed his forehead.

"A fan?" You questioned and Tommy and Tubbo lifted their phones up gesturing that they were recording.

"We're doing manhunt in real life, darling." Jack kissed your temple and wrapped his arn around your waist, holding you tight.

"Next time look before you run okay." You smiled still out of breath while kissing Jack's cheek.

"Enough with the PDA!" Tubbo yelled still recording you two.

"We havent even started!" Jack yelled back giving you a huge hug. Jack closed the distance between you two and gave you a passionate kiss on the lips while the two boys groaned in disgust.

"I think that's enough streaming for today boys." Tommy sighed.

"Sorry again, love. That won't happen again."

You and Jack walked hand in hand down the streets of London. People had to walk around you two because you were basically taking up the whole sidewalk and you weren't letting go of his hand anytime soon.

"It better not! I dont want to run after you again." You smiled as you bumped shoulders.

"And you wont have to!" He smiled back at you as you two continued to walk and people dodged the two of you.

"Have you ever thought of moving here?" Jack asked out of nowhere.

"I have actually! On the plane ride here I thought of leaving and moving to London." You thought about it constantly. It was nice being close to Jack and it was a major risk.

"Well wherever you're ready, I'll be here for you." Jack kissed your cheek. "And I wont run away when you come here!"

You two finally made it to your destination which was the cafe you two met at. It was busy at this time because it was the middle of the day and not the beginning. You two entered and took your seats by the window where you two usually sat.

"I love you. I missed this." Jack said.

"I love you too! And of course I missed this. Maybe you can show me more places around London and convince me to stay longer." You gave him a proposal.

"Longer than what?" Jack asked.

"Four weeks." You grinned.

Jack grabbed both of your hands and kissed the back of them. "Hell yeah. I get you for more than four weeks?!"

"That's if you show me places to stay longer." You teased.

"Okay babe. You like ferris wheels?"

[lady-lazagna]

Wasted Potential: The Women of Beyblade

Alright lads, it’s time we address the elephant in the room: Beyblade sucks at portraying women. I know we all try our hardest to only look at the best aspects of the show and analyse every little detail as if it were intentional, but at the end of the day, this show was made to market toys to little boys. Of course we know toys shouldn’t be gendered like this, but the show came out in the early 2010s, so if it wasn’t pink and sparkly, it had to be for boys. It’s time to face the fact that the writers aren’t perfect, and they certainly didn’t put effort into every aspect of the show- especially the female characters.

There are exactly six prominent female characters in the entire show. There’s the occasional scared little girl here or a very likely dead mum there, but there are only six main girls in the entire show. That’s opposed to an estimated 50 male characters, all appearing in more than one episode. People have tried to come up with in-universe explanations for this, the most obvious being that Beyblade, like a lot of sports, is male dominated, and woman just don’t feel welcomed in that space (There’s a really good fic by TooManyTerribleCartoons that focuses on this, I cried while reading it). It would be really interesting if the show actually went in that direction and dealt with that, but of course, it doesn’t. Because the real reason is that girls just aren’t as marketable to boys as boys are.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love all six of these girls with all my heart, but maybe that’s just because there are so little of them to love. So, to figure out whether or not I actually like these characters based on their personalities or solely because they’re the only ones I have to represent myself in this damn show, I’m going to break them down individually.

Let’s start with our main girl, Madoka. The first thing that you may consider a problem is that the only girl that’s consistently there throughout the show isn’t even a blader. Some would argue she still has the ‘blader’s spirit’ but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. Madoka is the healer of the group, as girls in media tend to be. And she doesn’t just heal their beys. Whenever someone is hurt, she’s the one they show patching them up. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing on its own. Female healers are just as admirable as female fighters. The problem starts with her being the only main girl in the show, and the only healer. None of the boys seem to be able to take care of themselves without her, which raises all sorts of alarms. They treat her like she’s their mother, and I don’t care how much of an orphan you are, a fourteen-year-old girl is not your mum. Hell, she even scolds them like she’s their mother. When you break it down, her entire character is based on being a maternal figure to all of her male friends.

What I really want to talk about with Madoka is how she’s usedin the show. I’m about to drop a bomb here so get ready. Here’s the thing: Madoka isn’t a main character, she’s a supporting character. Yep. Because, despite being the second most present character in the show, there is no storyline that focuses on her, not even an episode. She doesn’t have an arc. She doesn’t learn anything new about herself, doesn’t change at all throughout the story. Because if she changes, who will be Gingka’s new mummy? Sure, she’s a part of other people’s arcs, but she’s only used to further their development. She’s a means to an end.

Take the Survival Island arc for example. This is the only time we ever see her use a bey, so it should be a big moment for her, right? Nope. Because she’s only furthering Kyoya’s arc. He needs to learn that Leone has limits he shouldn’t push, and she needs to teach him that. She doesn’t learn anything from it, she was just doing what she knew she had to do.

I love Madoka dearly but when it comes down to it, her character was completely wasted on mothering the boys around her.

Hikaru is the first female blader we meet. And at first, her character actually looks promising! She’s a feisty, no-nonsense girl who only wants to take on the best of the best. She has a pretty good backstory (by Beyblade standards) that explains her actions well, and she even grows as a person throughout the show! Can you imagine? Of course, that just didn’t last. Once everyone leaves to collect points for Battle Bladers, she’s pushed into obscurity. When she does occasionally show up, she’s used as a dummy to display other blader’s power on. Everyone else during this time gets episodes dedicated to their travels- hell, even Tetsuya gets one- but she’s conveniently left out. Just couldn’t squeeze her into the fifty episodes of the season, could ya?

And then, we get to Battle Bladers, where she’s immediately put up against the most powerful person and gets crushed instantly. She couldn’t put up a decent fight like Tsubasa or Kyoya because her battle was tacked onto the end of another person’s episode.

From here on, Hikaru refuses to battle without absolute necessity. Another girl who just doesn’t play. Now, I don’t mind how they handled the whole PTSD thing (sus that no one else in the show has it but okay). Hikaru was only really blading to fulfill her mother’s dreams, and she decides that she shouldn’t force herself to anymore. That would all be fine and dandy if the show had focused on that. But they didn’t. The fandom came up with that explanation. The show decided to make her a secretary because they needed someone to balance out Ryo's idiocy. One might even say she’s mothering him. Another teenage girl forced into the responsible maternal role. And that’s how she stays.

Now… Mei-Mei. I’m not gonna sugar-coat this one, guys. Mei-Mei’s portrayal is blatantly sexist. She (of course) is the stupid one of her team, always mixing up her words. She blindly follows all of her male teammates with the utmost respect for all of them without getting anything in return. She never fights by herself, instead aiding someone else and taking orders. She is, once again, just a support to the real talent- the male members of the team.

This is all ignoring the most obvious ‘trait’ she has… yeah, the tits. Mei-Mei has big ol’ tiddies. Now I’m not here to body shame, I know that everyone grows and develops differently. But come on. She’s a child. And of course, she’s super skinny in every other aspect, it’s just her tits that have to be massive. Whoever designed her made a choice, and a bad one at that.

Mei-Mei is a dunce with big boobs that’s only there to be stared at and laughed at. She doesn’t get a story of her own like the others do, only there to fill in the fourth spot in Wang Hu Zhong. Sure, she can mean more than that to us, but that’s all she was intended to be.

Lera is an… interesting case. She has the same aspiration as the rest of her team: to go to space. That’s… almost like having your own goals, right? When she’s introduced, she’s stubborn, mouthy, and loud. Wow, that’s a lot like Masamune! She’ll make a great adversary for him- ah shit, he’s gone and gotten himself lost. Guess she won’t be fighting at all in the championships. What a waste.

Oh, but there she is again! Appearing in the Destroyer Dome tournament with her team, I’ll bet she has a lot to offer this time! And she kind of does, being the one who was able to counter one of Jigsaw’s special moves. This was most likely to make up for the fact that she didn’t do anything in the world championships, but hey, at least it’s something! Let’s hope she keeps this up and- ah. She got fire blasted with the rest of her team. Pity.

For my own metal health, I’m choosing to ignore the boob window on her fucking space suit. I’m not touching that one.

Sophie, my beloved. Her portrayal might be the one I’d say is the least sexist, but that’s by a very thin margin. When she’s introduced, she gives a massive display of power and even shares her dream of being an archaeologist. A woman with her own personal goals? What a world! Of course, we never hear about this ever again, despite there being plenty of opportunities where the gang could use an archaeologist *cough cough the entirety of Metal Fury cough*.

Sophie is very mature, being older than most of the cast. Everyone on team Excalibur is, but Sophie seems a lot more polite compared to her stubborn and rude counterpart, Wales. She has to be, as the refined lady of the group. She’s graceful and glamorous, as a woman of high class should be *eyeroll*. There’s also her complete and utter devotion to Julian and only being known as one of his ‘Twin Jewels,’ which is just… so great.

The only thing that puts Sophie above the rest in terms of representation is her power. Coming in relatively late in Masters meant that she had to be a far more powerful opponent. Granted, most of the time she’s fighting in a duo, but she’s still a threat on her own. And that’s proven when *gasp* she defeats one of the main characters? On her own?! When Gan Gan Galaxy interrupts the Festival of Warriors, and Yu tries to use his special move to destroy the stadium, she’s the one to stop him. It could’ve been Wales or Julian, but they decided Sophie should do it. And I think that works well with her character, since she seems to care the most about the cultural and historical aspect of everything. She’s the one who explains the importance of the festival to our main characters, she’s the one who knows the legend of Variares in Fury, so she would be the one who wants to prevent the stadium from falling apart. I’m glad they at least incorporated her desire to be an archaeologist into her character, though that could also just be a coincidence. Or her wanting to be tidier because she’s a woman. But I’m gonna pretend that’s not it, because I’d like to be happy for once.

Selen is the only ‘villain’ of all the girls. I say ‘villain’ because not wanting to starve to death definitely isn’t evil. Anyway, Selen seems to be yet another sex symbol in this children’s show. Despite living in poverty, she still finds time to dress in a cute crop top, tiny skirt, and skimpy leggings. I’m all for hot girls doing hot girl shit, but again, she’s supposed to be poor. And a fucking child.

Her battle style, much like her clothing, is very showy. She’s the weakest of her family (you’d think it would be the youngest, but no, it’s the girl) so she makes up for it in stamina. In other words, she distracts her opponents. The gorgeous woman distracts people in order to win. Huh. It isn’t even subtle in the show. During her world championships battle, she plays the crowd and they cheer and whistle at her. They claim to love her, even! But how can her country love her while also letting her and her family starve? Why, they love her for her body, of course! They love the performance, but her as a person? Whether or not she even lives through the night? They couldn’t care less.

Even when she returns in the Destroyer Dome, she says she’s fine with sacrificing herself for her brothers. She uses her incredible stamina to be useful to her brothers, to wear out their opponents. The devotion is the same with all of the siblings, but none of her brothers ever sacrifice anything for the family. It’s only the girl. The expendable one.

~~~

So that’s all the individual girls, spread as thin as they can go. All of this is to say that all of these girls have incredible potential but are shoved off to the side for the sake of their male teammates. They could’ve had great storylines themselves. I mean, each season of this show is around fifty episodes. You’re telling me you can’t give at least a few of them to the girls?

I’m not surprised by any of these revelations, because honestly, Beyblade isn’t objectively a great show. It’s a marketing scheme. I just wish at least one of the girls got the attention and detail to their character that they deserve. So many characters, even side characters like Da Xian and Zeo, have great development in their few episodes. Why couldn’t any of the girls get the same treatment?

All in all, this just makes me sad. At least I know that there are so many great content creators in this fandom who can give these girls the justice they deserve.

[tibby]

as someone who HAS seen all of the saw movies what’s your take on Saw X potentially revisiting the 2-3 timeline and following amanda 👁👁

i think it'd be...interesting and very risky. obviously i love amanda dearly she's my favourite character in the entire franchise but she's very layered and i feel like it would be very easy to mess her up, particularly when taking into account a lot of the retcons/changes that have happened since saw iii. also given how badly saw vii butchered hoffman's already questionable characterisation and how...little apprentice lawrence was developed, i have concerns! the apprentices are one of my favourite aspects of the series (shocker!) in terms of dynamics and their varied relationships to john, especially amanda's relationship to him, and i don't want to see them ruin that. i believe that amanda deserved better but i also believe that her story reached a natural if deeply tragic conclusion...you know?

that said. i do trust bousman as a director when it comes to saw, so if he's involved (since there seems to be slim to none chance of james wan returning, and while i think leigh is more of a possibility i'm never getting my hopes up), then i think there's a lot of potential! amanda is...such an interesting character and i really would love to get more insight into her life before her test (including how and why eric matthews went after her) as well as more information on what she was up to in the periods between the first three films. if done right i also think an amanda film would Hit as a saw film in a way later ones didn't (saying this as a spiral stannie). vii/jigsaw/spiral didn't feel like saw films, for better or for worse, and i think making stuff amanda centric again would bring back this very specific vibe that the first six (even if i'm not an iv fan) had. i hope people know what i'm saying here.

i'm sure there's some concerns about the fact it's been like fifteen years and the cast have all aged but shawnee is TIMELESS to me so whatever. also a genuinely phenomenal actress and i would love to see her again! she's also probably the franchise's best shot of getting tobin back and i KNOW they regret killing john off so early. and this is a fine way to fix that. on a personal level i would kill a man to see amanda and lawrence interactions and ik cary has said he's open to coming back, and it would also provide an opportunity for them to touch on apprentice lawrence somewhat (and maybe open us up for an adam mention or two). the very vague jill and amanda stuff we got in vi is also fascinating to me, as she's the only one two have substantial relationships with both and amanda being one of john's first test subjects must...have really fucked with jill. anyway. point is i would also love for it to be used as a jill comeback, especially after they did her so dirty in vii. erik knudsen is in his thirties now but the amanda and daniel relationship is such an essential one to understanding amanda's character, so fuck it, bring him back too. i hope costas stays unemployed for the rest of his life but they can like, replace him with jack black or something because the amanda and hoffman relationship also makes me crazy. for fun i think they should edit in the cut amanda and adam scene from saw iii except it was clearly filmed fifteen years before the rest of the movie.

anyway. i guess my take is...very hesitant and ambivalent but if done right i will lose my goddamn mind <3 the amanda trilogy is easily the tightest narrative of the whole franchise and i think it would be very easy for them to fuck it up, but i hope if the theory DOES pan out then they get all the right people involved so they avoid any mistakes. at any rate it'll be better than the billy the puppet origin story or whatever it is that tobin bell suggested. they could also do the honourable thing and visit a VERSION of the 2-3 timeline which is jigsaw the tv show, but lionsgate still hasn't reached out to me, so i doubt it.

[dyketubbo]

im rewatching doomsday (comps of all povs of course) and. yeah i just.. feel bad for the lmanburgians. i dont know how i could just. say these people deserved it, when they all sound, panicked and desperate and so so fucking sad. long long ramble under the cut as i recount the events and pick out a bunch of little things

even the day before then is painful. ranboos panic room. ranboo and tubbos talk (tubbo admitting that hes wrong, saying he believes that history is repeating itself and trusting ranboo because he believes in his loyalty), fundy showing the ring toss. tubbos surprise at being told to kill dream before stating that quackity would be in control if he didnt (god, did he plan to fail?). tommy being so so excited. everyone playing ring toss and cheering on jack. tommy still believing in tubbo. tubbo panicking. ranboo and tommy and techno talking, ranboo giving them info. dream placing walls and quackity instructing tubbo on where to kill dream. dream lying about the community house. the entire community house debacle. just, everything.

and then doomsday itself. having to frantically get there because it started early, tubbo only having diamond armor to protect him, fundy standing still after he sabotaged them. tubbo and ranboos genuine despair about the apiary.

tubbo eventually going nonverbal and actively putting himself in danger, not even moving away from techno at first and getting in the way of the firework launcher. tubbo trying to save tommy from the fireworks, ponks broken "dont come over here!" after she was trying to save his cat, tommys face falling and desperate attempts at convincing techno, ranboo going "its all gone", niki spiralling and silently burning down the tree, quackitys pure anger. all the death messages.

jack going "what is there left to protect", tommy brokenly trying to accept that its gone as tubbo and quackity blankly do accept it. jack going "i lost everything again". tommy desperately trying to understand dream, on the verge of tears as he asks why dream didnt just hurt him. his low health and food as hes unable to do anything anymore, his quiet gasp as he spots ghostbur, tubbos tiny shake of his head when dream says dream and tommys story wont be over.

tubbo and quackity breaking the repeaters. ghostburs "i didnt even know we were fighting". ghostbur finding out phil let friend die, hes pained "phil? but i- i gave, i gave phil to look after. and dream found me friend, and technoblade said we were friends", tommys pained talk about technoblade. "we were never his friend. to him, all of this was just an act of politics, an act of clout and a-a social ladder, and you won't remember. tubbo you will, and to you big q, this was a friendship. but to technoblade, this was a ladder. and techno climbed to the tippity talk. do you wanna know the only way you can go? on the ladder? -- and once you reach the top of the ladder tubbo, you can only go down."

quackity asking to sing the anthem again, him strumming as ghostbur sings (and tubbo and tommy joining in). ghostbur forgetting the second verse because it blew up. quackity remembering it, them stumbling through it. tommys "tubbo? im so so sorry", tubbos quiet "its okay." the four all singing together. tubbo looking at the lava with an ender pearl in his hand, tommy correcting quackity and going "our l'manburg". ghostburs speech about friend, about people not taking him seriously just because he has memory loss.

meanwhile.. phil and techno were laughing. cracking jokes. phil mocks them as he spawns withers on the apiary, going "ohhh noo not the bees!". techno shouts at tommy and shoots at him and tubbo. he kills jack and doesnt even notice that it was one of his lives lost. jacks death itself proves that it doesnt take any particular intent, doesnt have to mean anything to the killer. techno and phil were willing to kill people. it would be foolish of them to act as if there were no risks in the terms of canon lives, especially with phil. phil doesnt take ghostbur seriously, treats his despair as an opportunity to drill in a lesson. the most either of them lost was some of the dogs and used up potions, fireworks, and wither skulls

and then theres dream. dream whose been harming the l'manburgians since the beginning, who had taken tubbo hostage, offered eret a chance to betray them all, who had been the man in tommys walls and offering money to tubbo and jack to try and get them to destroy things, who tried to get tommy to kill tubbos villagers. dream, who took tommys discs over and over, who killed tommy twice in one day, who stopped caring about his friends that loved him and were so so loyal. dream, who helped schlatt and pushed wilbur deeper into his spiral, who even then tried to manipulate tommy.

dream, who helped destroy l'manburg the first and second time, who took advantage of tubbo so he could have a premeditated kidnapping of tommy. dream, who abused tommy, physically, psychologically, emotionally. dream, who degraded tubbo and had taken ranboos memory book (which btw, since ranboos memory loss counts as a mental disability with the memory book as his aid, thats dream taking the thing that aids ranboo in dealing with his disability).

dream, who had been the reason l'manburg was created. dream, who got to destroy l'manburg three times. dream won. and techno and phil dont regret it, dont care.

maybe l'manburg was never meant to be. and sure, it started with stealing and an attempt to monopolize on potions but. that wasnt even l'manburg then, was it? it was just wilbur and tommy having fun. l'manburg came after. after the police hurt them. l'manburg started as a silly little revolution, led by a naïve man who thought he could win wars by saying no. it was a place for a family, a place for them to escape from dream. it was a place to try and escape the harm of those outside the walls. it was meant to be safe, even if those against them made it hard to be. it was made from love. it was meant to be happy. it was a symphony, however unfinished.

so. i don't know. i just feel, bad. they never really won, did they? tragedy after tragedy, death after death, destruction after destruction, betrayal after betrayal, hurt after hurt. and now what's left of them, really? out of the founders, erets doing the best and even shes doing awful, forever trying to make up for what he did. tubbos paranoia led him to developing nukes in a desperate attempt to stay safe, because he was taught to stay quiet and keep his emotions to himself, because his death was "justified", because nukes and walls and weapons are the only way he can feel safe anymore.

tommy went through months of abuse, lost all of his lives and suffered upon coming back, suicidal but unable to bring himself to do it because limbo is worse, feeling lost and like he has no family anymore other than wilbur, who he knows is hurting him but cant bring himself to leave, who loved lmanburg so so dearly and only wanted a home, still doesnt have one (tommy from everywhere, tommy from nowhere at all). niki who loved lmanburg and wilbur so much that it hollowed her out and made her bitter and shes so used to being spoken over that all she can think to do is raise her voice and get pissed, who cant see wilbur as a good person anymore because shes hurt and hasnt truly recovered and she doesnt know how to cope without being angry.

jack manifold feels forgotten, hes lost all his lives and crawled out of hell and no one truly noticed, he doesnt even believe that niki really cares, hes desperate and has made his purpose to be spiteful and angry because he cant deal with the emptiness that comes when he realizes theres no point. fundys desperate to have friends, family, a partner, anyone thatll love him, anyone thatll keep him safe, slowly killing himself with cigarettes and disowned because of giving too little too late, because he was too little too late.

and wilburs lost himself. spiraling, paranoid. a young, naïve man who wanted to fight swords with words, who wanted to impress his father, who wanted a nation of his own to feel safe, who was so effected by erets betrayal that he cant trust anyone but himself, whose possessive nature eats him from the inside out, desperate for control and unable to let go of the only person he knows loves him unconditionally

all because outside forces kept pushing, kept destroying, kept ruining them and hurting them and traumatizing them and taking away their homes and pets and loved ones. and i just. cant feel happy for the ones that hurt them, i cant feel victorius, triumphant, any of that. i just feel bad that the l'manburgians never got to be a family. i know they arent the best people but shit, i love them anyways, love them because theyre flawed and because theyre *people*, people who tried so so hard and got pushed so so much and. fuck, i cant be happy that the people who loved nature and play fought and laughed by campfires and read poetry and re-enacted theatre and loved each other and wanted to *live* (even if they were willing to die, if it meant giving everyone else a chance).. lost. they lost.

canonical years of work down the drain in one day. records of history gone, now only remembered in full by a traumatized teenager who was taught not to talk about his negative emotions, and even he misremembers some parts. they didnt even lose fairly. they had no chance. they couldnt have prepared for withers, for tnt rain, for the hounds. they were poor, weaker than their opponents, sabotaged by one of their own. thats.. tragic.

doomsday was a tragedy. i cant agree that it was deserved. i cant agree that they had it coming, that they deserved to lose homes and pets and limbs and lives and land because they werent the greatest people around.

a small country of less than 10 people (at both creation and destruction) now a giant crater in the ground, remnants of a parisitic egg taking over the land. and it wasnt even lost fairly. three people were stronger than an entire nation, even with all of its allies. two anarchists working with an abusive tyrant. so, no. doomsday wasnt deserved. people dont deserve tragedy. there were better ways, i truly cant be happy that the way chosen was violence. i cant.

l'manburg's citizens deserved better. they really did. the ends dont justify the means. and god, am i fucking tired of "justice". if justice means choosing violence over love and respect and caring about those less strong than you, i dont wanna hear about it. fuck that man, id rather love and be loved than constantly give a shit about making up for hurting others by getting hurt, thats stupid and cruel and i cant see it as okay on a moral level. not when the people that got hurt deserved to be loved and cared about and protected and *talked to* instead of constantly shot down.

of course for the narrative i can enjoy violence and characters getting hurt and i do like how "real" it all is, the despair and dissonance in tone and how terrifyingly messy it all is. out of story perspective- honestly rather cool even if it makes me feel bad. in story perspective- holy fucking shit no that wasnt deserved and god i hope everyone hurt will be able to heal and learn to love and be loved again because thats such a terrifying thing to go through. from a detached pov i can appreciate the insight into everyone involved and i like the plotlines that came from it, but from a compassionate pov i just wish the l'manburgians were allowed to be happy and treated as equals so they didnt have to go through all of this

[veilder]

Hi! Would you happen to have Convin or Reed900 fics to recommend?

Oh, hello! I can definitely help you with Convin fic recs at least, lol! Reed900, not so much, but there are plenty of blogs around that you could ask for that ship. ^_^ But yeah, I’ll try to categorize these as best I can! And give a little summary, too! :D

Longfics 75k+ (Complete)

1. Mission: Unexpected by J11nxed (@j11nxed) Rated E (violence, sexual content, language, abuse): Super great casefic with lots of amazing character development. Very funny. Probably my favorite characterization of Connor and Gavin, lol. The fic I read when I’m feeling down. ^_^

2. Golden by jarpad (@embaggins on Twitter) Rated M (dark themes, mature content, allusions to self-harm/suicide, mental health issues, language): An absolutely beautiful story of healing and overcoming your demons handled in a very respectful manner. The subject matter is very thought provoking and it brought me to tears, both cathartic and not, more than once. It’s a heavy story, but... So worth it, imo.

3. like roses, death blooms by alekszova (@ewates) Rated M (violence, rape, torture, abuse, mental health issues): A very, very dark revenge fic. Definitely the darkest one on this list. If you like heavy angst, this might be for you, though please heed the tags. A lot of this story is about the aftermath of horrific events but there are still some very brutal scenes.

Mid-length fics 20k-75k (Complete)

1. Running Uphill by NHMoonshadow (@sharysisnhmoonshadow) Rated M (violence, peril, language): The ultimate time travel soulmate AU fic imo. Absolutely top tier Gavin characterization and development. Rich backstories and relationships. Definitely some trauma, omg. But ultimately, a happy ending. Definitely a must-read for any Convin fan imo.

2. Traces by berryblonde (@berry--blonde) Rated M (language, peril, minor suicidal ideation): One of the first long fics I ever read for this ship and still one of my faves. Excellent casefic setup, very interesting premise and some very dynamic characters. Also, really A+ backstory for Gavin. This is basically a classic for anyone who wasn’t around in the early days of fandom. Highly recommend!

3. His Robin by wolfetz Rated T (drama, language): Absolutely fantastic coming of age story set in a human!AU world. Really great character work for both Connor and Gavin and their relationship through the years. Love this one.

4. A Scratched CD/A Faulty Code by consecrated Rated T (mental health issues, language): Companion pieces told from Gavin and Connor’s POVs respectively. These were also very early fics I read when I was first getting into the fandom and I love them both dearly. The characterization here went a long way towards me loving the ship to begin with. A great intro to Convin.

5. That Boy is a Powder Keg by QueenHarleyQuinn Not Rated (language, violence, mature content, mental health issues): One of the most realistic takes on Gavin going from his canon asshole self to someone who could feasibly be in a relationship with Connor. I’m definitely due to re-read this cuz I can’t quite remember the details anymore, but I know I really enjoyed this at the time. Good for anyone who likes a more antagonistic take on him.

Shortfics/Oneshots (~20k)

1.  Sedum Spathulifolium by Burrahobbit Rated T (language): This fic... is so dang sweet. I’ve read it so many times. It’s absolutely adorable, what can I say? Love their dynamic here. ^_^

2. Always know that you are not alone by Liveinelf Rated T (language, drama): Another fantastic take on Gavin and his growth as a character. He starts off very close to canon here and is one mean asshole. But this fic does a great job of explaining why he acts as he does. And how he changes. Highly recommend.

3. Some things never change by berryblonde Rated T (language): An absolutely hilarious fic, lol. The view of Convin through the eyes of some rookie trainees, omg. It makes me laugh so much. XD

4. Mankind Needs More Empathy by BrightestStarInTheSky  (@brighteststarinthesky) Rated T (language, drama): Some good old-fashioned Gavin-getting-his-head-out-of-his-ass, lol. I love fics like this. Need a good basis to start a relationship, after all. Apologies are in order. ^_^

5. as i see them by rekal Rated T (language, drama): Same as the previous entry, this one deals with Gavin’s character growth and how he and Connor grow closer in the aftermath. It’s lovely.

6. Sweet/Wise men say... by 99MillionMiles (@99millionmilesaway) Not Rated: Two short, sweet fluff pieces that absolutely delight me every time I reread them. And as a bonus, some beautiful art by @deep-in-mind67, too!

7. Melted Phoenix by Astrapod Rated M (violence, trauma, mental health issues, mutilation, peril): This one... This is a heavy fic. It starts off with a very harrowing description of android violence that might be too much for some folks to handle. Proceed with caution. But, if you can weather that, this is an absolutely beautiful fic about love and healing. Definitely recommend.

8. So Pathetic and So Lovely by alekszova Rated M (language, drama, mental health issues, mature themes): I think the fic’s description speaks for itself here: “ Neither Gavin or Connor think they are capable of being loved by the other, but that doesn't mean it's true.” Definitely worth a read.

9. An unexpected turn of events by Smokey310 Rated T (language): This one is freakin hilarious. Connor and Gavin and a night out at the club, omg. I love this fic to death. XD

10. As Do I by berryblonde Rated T (drama): A human!AU where your soulmate can feel the injuries of their other half. It’s the story of a lifetime together. All the way til the end.

11. because the bed’s warm and it’s cold out by voidpants (@voidpants) Rated G (no warnings): Connor and Gavin being old men together. It’s beautiful. Such a lovely take on the two of them.

Unfinished Fics/Honorable Mentions

1. Spinning Yellow by sheepishwolfy (@sheepishwolfy) Rated E (violence, language, mature themes): Amazing casefic with top-tier characterization. What’s written of it is still amazing, even if it’s not complete.

2. Amidst a Crash of Worlds by fireplanetz Rated T (violence, mature themes, war, language): A fic told entirely through letters between Connor and Gavin in the aftermath of the bad ending of the game. It’s such an awesome idea and it’s executed so well. Definitely recommend. 

3. The Bet by Pence Rated T (language): Brooklyn 99-inspired DPD shenanigans. Need I say more? It’s so funny and I love the characterization of Connor and Gavin. Mostly finished, too! Just the final chapter missing!

4. Wicked by MercuryPilgrim Rated M (language, mature content): I love this one. It’s such a unique take on Connor and Gavin and it works so well, too. They are delightful here. Love the dynamic!

5. (can’t say) i don’t love you by Chibbers (@teh-chibi) Rated M (language, drama, sexual content): An angsty hanahaki!AU fic where these two idiots don’t realize they’re in love with each other. Really great writing here. Very emotional. Made me feel a lot.

And I guess I should mention that I have fics of my own, too, about half of which are Convin? You can check them out on my AO3 here! ^_^

So yeah, there we go. Those are really all I can think of off the top of my head. I know I missed some amazing works, too, alas. But at least this can give you a good start, yeah? Hope this helps @pancrystal! And thanks again for the ask! :D (Also, if I messed up any of the link or if there’re any glaring typos, lemme know. This was a lot of janky, Tumblr formatting, omg. >_<)

[cafeacademia]

Admirers || Part i

Draco x Reader

Summary: Both Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini have developed feelings for their friend at different points of their lives, but now as Valentine’s Day approaches, they realise there’s only space for one of them in your heart.

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, mild angst, thoughts of potential unrequited love, soft Draco

Word count: Approx 2740

Masterlist

A/N: Hi loves! Here’s the first part to a mini series that will have at least one other part, plus two extra parts after that for you to choose which boy the reader ends up with! I hope you enjoy, also apologies, I’ve not heavily edited this, please forgive mistakes, I’m just writing this for fun 💕

He admired you, the light warm and hazy as he gently gripped a folded parchment between his fingers, watching as you sat alone in the library. You looked so pretty in the mid afternoon glow that was cast by the old wobbled glass windows, the sun shining through the drafty panes.

It was early February, the wind carrying a drift of heavy snow through the grounds, the sun’s usually bright hue was softened to a gentle warmth by the misty clouds.

But what softened Draco more was that while you were relaxed in your seat, you sat with his Slytherin scarf draped around your shoulders to keep the cold draft at bay. He loved seeing you like that, wearing his things, seeing how comfortable you looked as you wore something that belonged to him, that smelled like him.

You might have been best friends, but Draco couldn’t deny he saw something more and as he stood at the edge of the bookcase, his fingers running along the crease of the parchment in his hands, he pushed away from the bookcase to approach you. Though, as he stood a step in your direction, his movements diverted when another student, seemingly appearing out of nowhere approached you more quickly than he had and Draco’s jaw clenched in sudden irritation as he watched.

“There you are, I was looking everywhere for you.” Blaise Zabini said as he pulled out the chair next to you, dropping into his seat and scooting up close to your side. Why did it anger Draco so much to see Zabini this close to you? It wasn’t as if you liked Blaise, was it? No more than a friend or a classmate he had supposed, but now as you glanced over at the Slytherin next to you with a dreamy little smile, Draco felt little cause to justify his irritation now and instead of approaching you like he had intended, for once, he turned around and walked away.

“You were? Well I was right where I told you I’d be, I think you’re just making up for the fact that you’re late.” You said teasingly, prodding Blaise in the arm as you slid your textbook across so that he could see what you were working on. “We’ve got another few days until our project is due, I’ve finished this part of the analysis, but I think we still need to do some research on the properties inside of the lake.” You explained, shuffling around some papers and showing Blaise everything so he could catch up on what you had done.

Had it not been for this very class project, you might not have gotten to know Blaise much more than you already did. You had of course hung out with him now and again while you were around Draco, but he tended to stay quiet in groups. It was only until he was your assigned project partner that you actually got to know him better and you were pleasantly surprised to say the least. Blaise was charming, quiet and enthralling, he had an air about him that was brooding, his strong silence emitting an even stronger confidence. While he appeared quite stoic, it was however, not uncommon for him to smile around you and you had begun to grow quite fond of the way he looked at you.

“I’m sure we can get this all done before the weekend, we wouldn’t want it to get in the way of any plans for Valentine’s day.” Blaise said, a smirk playing on his lips as he spoke, though you didn’t catch it, far too busy collecting your papers together. “Oh don’t worry about that,” You said, pausing for a moment as you closed the textbook that sat between you. “I don’t really have any plans.” You added, looking at him with a little smile as you began to pack away your things.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning? We can finish off the last of our research before class on Friday.” You asked, getting up from your seat, the Slytherin looking up at you from his lounged position in his chair with a lopsided smile. “I was actually hoping that you might join me for dinner?” Blaise asked, watching as you put the last of your things away, your movements slowing as you listened to his question. “I’m sorry Blaise, I already promised Draco I’d eat with him tonight.” Giving him an apologetic smile, you sighed a little and picked up your bag, turning away to leave your project partner to finish working on his part of the work.

“Dray! Wait a second, won’t you?” You asked, hurrying to catch up with your best friend as you quickly hurried along towards the bridge towards him. “How did the project go?” Draco asked, his voice more glum than usual, hands shoved into his trouser pockets and a look of discontent on his features. You were a little disappointed that you hadn’t been greeted by him with his usual enthusiasm to see you and instead, you pulled his scarf off your shoulders, circling around to his front to gently wrap the soft woollen garment around his neck, the ashen haired boy giving you a soft smile as you did.

You always managed to pull him in, make him feel like he was sinking in something so wonderful, heavenly like sweet honey, thick soft blankets or something as utterly divine as silk. It was that way especially when your fingers brushed his, like they did now, your hand almost accidentally brushing against his, and yet he did not flinch away, nor did he reach for you, Draco just purely appreciated it and smiled as you looked up at him with unrivalled joy at just seeing your best friend.

“It went okay, Blaise was late again and he hasn’t finished his part of the project yet either.” You sighed, Draco didn’t catch whether you had rolled your eyes or not when you stepped back to walk along at his side, but he imagined you might have accompanied that statement with an eyeroll. “Of course he hasn’t.” Draco mumbled, gritting his teeth as you walked along together. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, glancing up at him, the ashen haired boy just looking down at you with a soft smile, raising his hand from his pocket to affectionately rest it on the back of your head for a moment. “Nothing, Zabini likes leaving things until the last minute is all, don’t let him stress you out. I still don’t know how he manages to pull that all together into a good grade at the end.” Draco sighed, slowly resting his hand on your shoulder before he pulled it back down into his pocket.

“You’ll tell me if he tries to mess with the project, won’t you? I don’t want him taking your credit or something ridiculous.” Draco asked, glancing over at you as you paused halfway across the bridge to look out across the still frozen lake. “I don’t think he will, but I’ll tell you if he does.” You assured him, nodding as you sunk against his side, the boy putting his arm around you.

“Draco, do you perhaps… Have any plans for um-.” You cut yourself off mid sentence, nervous to really ask what you had been about to and you glanced over at him, only to wish that in some ways, you hadn’t. He was listening to you so intently, a small, warm smile on his lips as he waited for you to finish your question, brows slightly raised in a questioning fashion as he met your eyes, his smile widening as he did. “The weekend?” You finally finished your sentence, your voice smaller than you had intended it to be and avoiding the Valentine's day question that had been on the tip of your tongue, but that you had been too shy to ask about. Draco looked away for a moment, smiling to himself as you nervously fidgeted beside him, his arm pulling you closer against his side and squeezing you tightly. “No, but I was going to ask-.” “There you are!” Blaise said for the second time that day, practically legging it across the bridge towards you, Draco’s arm sliding off your shoulder as he approached.

“I think you took one of my papers with you, I need it to finish what I was writing and I swear it was on the desk when I came to the library.” Blaise said, watching as you awkwardly apologised and began to rifle through your bag. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” Blaise said rather nonchalantly, Draco fixing a heavy glare on his friend and if looks could kill, this was by far the most deadly glare Draco had thrown at a single person before. But either it went straight over Blaise’s head or he knew not to dig much further and he took the paper that you had extended towards him and with a badly placed smirk and charming wink, Blaise threw you a smooth, “Thank you sweetheart.” Before turning away and returning to the castle.

Sweetheart. That really boiled Draco’s blood, his jaw clenched so tightly that it would ache for the rest of the day and his hands were so tightly balled up into fists that there would surely be indents from where he had dug into his palms in pure irritation. He’d have to say something, speak up about it because as far as Draco was concerned, you weren’t Blaise’s. You were his, as long as you’d have him.

“Are you alright, Draco?” You asked softly, looking up at him with concern in your eyes, the Slytherin glancing at you and slowly letting the tension go, relaxing a little as you reached out for him and gently took his hand in yours. Letting out a sigh, he closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself, wanting not to snap at the person he loved so dearly and opened his eyes to give you a faint smile. “Yes love, come, let’s enjoy the snow before it gets dark.”

“Morning, I see you’re early today.” You smiled, approaching Blaise in the library the next morning as he stood in front of a bookcase with a small stack of books in his arms, presumably about Hogwarts history and the magical properties of the geological surroundings of the school. “Yeah, I wanted to get a head start since I slacked a bit on the last part we worked on.” Blaise said idly as he thumbed through a book. “I think this is everything we need, shouldn’t take us too long.” He told you, giving you a big smile before walking you over to the table he had picked for you both to sit at.

It wasn’t long into your research, both of you making notes as you sifted through information in the books before Blaise turned to casual conversation to fill the silence. “So, you and Malfoy,” He paused, watching as you looked up from your notebook with a raised eyebrow. “What about Draco?” You asked. “Are you two a thing?” Blaise asked.

“A what?” You questioned. “A thing, y’know are you dating?” He asked more bluntly this time and you jerked back in your seat a little at how direct his question had been. “Oh, no we’re- no we’re not.” You said it with a slight frown, dropping your voice in the last part of your sentence, dipping back into your book. While some might have read your response as being one of disappointment, Blaise smiled to himself as he thought about it. “So yesterday on the bridge wasn’t- I mean I wasn’t interrupting a date, was I?” Blaise asked. “A date?” You almost snorted, surely Draco would never date you. Of course, you were best friends, you’d had a crush on him for the longest time, but he had never made a move towards you in all of the years you had known each other and you didn’t think he would either. “No, we were just hanging out. We’re just friends, Blaise.” You said, an edge of discomfort in your voice.

“In that case, fancy a butterbeer tomorrow after we hand in our project, I’m free all afternoon.” Blaise grinned, watching as you paused, slowly lowering your quill and looking up at him with mild disbelief on your features. “A date, perhaps, or just as friends?” He added with confidence in his voice as he leaned against the table, casually lounging as he leafed through the book as if he hadn’t just asked you on a date. “Um-.” “It’s okay, you don’t have to say yes, it’s a no pressure thing. Just thought that since we’ve been working on this project that you might want to let off some steam and wind down before the weekend.” Blaise interrupted your hesitancy and while you sat there, wondering for a moment what your answer might be, you looked up to meet his eyes, your heart softened by the confident smile that he wore as he waited for your response.

It wasn’t as if you had any plans and the idea of celebrating the end of the project you had both worked hard on did seem like a nice way to end it. And yet, while you contemplated, your mind flicked to Draco for a moment and you sighed, thinking it over. You wanted to spend time with him, but you were always scared to go further than just friends, especially because he never really showed much interest in going further with you. So instead, you looked up a Blaise, met his eyes with a sweet smile and nodded. “Actually, a butterbeer sounds good.” You told him, the boy’s smile widening into a bright grin. “Brilliant.”

It wasn’t long before you both finished the last of your research, Blaise volunteered to write it up and promised to deliver the paper to you later that day for you to read and you were finally able to get on with the rest of your day. It was just then, as you exited the library just after Blaise, that Draco stopped you in the hallway.

“Hi love, how did it go?” Draco asked, gently leaning his arm against the wall so he could stand over you as you talked. You couldn’t lie, having him stand over you like that made you feel a certain way, but nearly everything Draco did around you made you feel flushed and giddy and shy. “Do you just lurk until I’m done studying?” You teased, unable to meet his eyes, the Slytherin snorting out a laugh. “Something like that, I wasn’t far away and I knew you’d finish around this time.” Draco shrugged, gently tugging your books out of your hands to carry them himself. “Besides, I prefer filling my time with you.” Draco said it offhandedly, if only he knew exactly how that had made you feel, the butterflies in your stomach and the way it melted you.

“Are we still on for our day together on Saturday?” Draco asked as you walked along together towards your next class. “Of course we are, I’d never miss it.” And you wouldn’t, you spent every Saturday with Draco and contrary to spending time together all day, this was different. It was a time to relax and unwind from the week together. And more importantly, it was special. “Good, it’s a special one.” Draco told you as you rounded the corner, the two of you stopping outside of your classroom before he handed you your books and backed away from you with a lopsided grin and dreamy look in his eyes.

And as you watched him walk away, you couldn’t help but wonder what Saturday was all about. Besides, Valentine’s day was just around the corner and the closer you got to the day, the more you wondered if something might happen.

Blaise wandered to his class with a Valentine’s day card hidden in his pocket and Draco with a sweetly worded letter in his, waiting for the opportune moment to pass it to you. Draco just wasn’t sure his spoken words would suffice, but the worry that sat in the pit of both boy’s stomachs was enough to make them both feel on edge, because they both knew the other might make a move before they could.

Taglist (OPEN):

@kitkatd7​ @paintballkid711​ @thesewaywardskies​ @coldlilheart​ @victorialynn7​ @pandaxnienke​ @megantje123​ @loving-life-my-way​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @theweasleyslut​ @daltonacademia​ @amourtentiaa​ @sincerelymalfoy​ @slytherinwh0re​ @dracosaccount​ @dreaming-about-fanfictions​

[ghostpajamas]

Danny Fenton loves his parents. he does, really! sure, he cringes when they tell him about their newest project, he chuckles under his breath when someone at school pokes fun at their latest failed attempt at catching Phantom, whatever. Danny Fenton loves his parents.

Danny Fenton hates the scientists, Madeline and Jack Fenton. well. hate is a strong word. fears? despises, for making his home life a live-wire of tension and a slip up from dissection? that about summed it up.

he was scared to step an inch out of line and his parents didn’t even know they’d drawn that line there. it was like he was doing a tightrope walk for a blindfolded audience. but, in this case, they'd kill him if he fell (if the fall didn’t first). Danny knew that, in all but the absolute best circumstances, this would not end well. he had no outside perspective on his situation though so all circumstances seemed risky at best. so he still kept up the walk.

he wasn’t one for psychological profiling. Jazz did it to him enough without his knowledge that he hardly needed to see a psychologist for that. he could just knock on her door and say "what’s wrong with me?" and she'd give him a bulleted list. maybe she'd even recommend coping methods. he was pretty sure he'd developed some kind of stress disorder over the years. any murmur, any loud noise, any hint of anger in a remark not even directed at himself, his brain would always so readily translate 'you made them mad. you're in for it now. they're after you now.' it was nauseating to sit through while his mind spiraled into a concealed panic. he would just sit there and wait to be attacked. the blows never came. he was still just regular, human boy, Danny Fenton. (for now.)

even before the distinct sizzle of an ectoblast, the smell of ectoplasm in contact with something it should not contact, became engrained into his instincts. even before then he was always a little...scared of his parents. maybe it was the goggles. or how they chose to hunt something they were so certain was a wholly malicious and incredibly dangerous race of being. maybe it made him nervous how easily his father's hugs could crush someone his size. How readily his mother pulled a gun when she suspected spectral activity. ’they’re perfectly harmless! These cant hurt humans at all, only ghosts, don’t worry, Danny!’

Danny dealt in a lot of maybe's these days. some nights when he would lie in bed, feeling like his heartbeat was maybe gone, he would hear what sounded like his name from his parents' mouths downstairs. then he would feel his heartbeat start again. maybe.

when did it happen, how every time you hear them speak about you, to you, you fear for the worse? (there were empty bottles of ibuprofen in his desk drawers, for migraines and the ache of fresh injuries.)

Danny understood deep down, this pressure had been building for years. (his parents' research was still far from the truth but going down a dangerous path in its misunderstanding.) it wasn’t a matter of if, he always felt it coming, a blurry shape on the horizon. it was when. - Maddie Fenton knows there is something wrong with her son. no, not in a mean way. he looks fine (usually), he acts friendly and normal (for him) and well. he's Danny! she's sure he's Danny. but sometimes he- he didn’t look like how she remembered.

day-to-day, he was her son, he looked exactly how he always did. but sometimes it was like he was someone entirely new. like over the last 3 years there had been an imperceptibly small change made every day and in those single, staticy moments, she could see the difference. maybe it was a trick of the light. maybe she had missed her son growing up, spending all her time on researching to the point that she paid no mind to her own family.

she was proud of her work. she loved her work so, so dearly. but- she still felt guilty when she'd notice ‘oh Danny’s so tall now’ (he's been this tall for years) ‘oh Jazzy's hair looks so nice tied up like that’ (she’s been wearing it that way for months). she had the constant aching pull in her gut, that she had missed her children growing up. that they went from babies to practically adults and now she hardly knew them because they didn't fill the role they used to.

it made her sick to think she needed her children to fill a role for them to feel like her children but, here she was.

there was a disconnect between them from so early in their childhood and it only grew when Danny entered highschool. she'd assumed at first that it was just a teenager thing, distancing oneself from your 'nutjob ghost hunter' parents and feeling rebellious. she knew she’d been wrong then but Maddie Fenton, though a seeker of knowledge, was stubborn in her feelings. rather, she didn't want to acknowledge what she noticed. she didn't want to examine what was wrong.

Maddie Fenton knows there is something wrong with her son. and shes scared, not of him, but what she'll have to do if she ever says it out loud. it would be real then. Maddie Fenton was scared of herself, and that made her sick. - Danny came home at 8 pm. his skin was blistered and his shirt was stained. brown-red blotches, a spray on his chest and sleeves, large drops dried around the neckline. the blistered skin; puffy, pink, and peeling on the back of his left hand, arm, fingertips- good god, what happened to him?

the question was on Maddie's lips when Danny spoke up instead. he'd closed the door behind himself in the time she'd taken evaluating his appearance. she'd forgot to even remind him what time it was.

"there was a grease fire at Nasty Burger. someone poured water on it." his tone was so much flatter than Maddie was used to from her son. no humourous lilt, just... empty. she felt like he wasn't even seeing her when he looked up. It was like he’d been reminded of something he’d have rather forgotten a long time ago.

"oh- oh no Danny, we've gotta get that arm patched up and- what's... the stuff on your shirt?" her words betrayed her discomfort but Danny showed no sign of minding her tone. (please don’t be blood. please d-)

"some sauce packets got squashed and sprayed all over me and Tucker. I think this is barbeque?" he scraped at the stain below his collar as he walked to the cabinet in the kitchen that a first-aid box was kept in (there were plenty in the house, most of which Maddie didn't remember buying but was grateful for nonetheless when she needed one).

she made a start to help with the box, knowing Danny’s hand was hurt, but he was already deftly applying antibacterial gel and wrapping the skin gently. he hardly even winced. Maddie felt a hollowness wash not over her, around. like fog rolling in, separating her from what she was seeing. she distantly wondered how often her son must get hurt to be so good at this. how often she didn't even notice he was in danger.

Maddie Fenton loves her son, her family means the world to her and she would protect them through hell and high water. but now she was realizing, through her instinct and her doubt- do I know my son? - Madeline Fenton loves her son. and she fears what she doesn’t know. - Danny Fenton loves his parents so, so much. and he's terrified of what he knows so very well.

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.