#i work in higher education and think too much about fucked it all is

[metagamingseagull]

Not the whole setting being a metaphor for how academic institutions hoard knowledge to serve the interests of the elite and powerful?? How they will misrepresent and trap other entities to suit their own political agenda???? And how higher education institutions' limited attempts to recruit "a more diverse" student population - without addressing any foundational or structural issues - will fail to meaningfully improve anything?? Decolonisation is not a metaphor indeed!!!

The image of the whole of magic being condensed into a football field-sized room really evoked how academic knowledge production is limited by how many people - with incredibly informative and interesting viewpoints and understandings of the world - are excluded by our education systems.

DAMN AABRIA YOU ARE A GENIUS AND I LOVE YOU

[nanaminokanojo]

Honey, Oh Sugar, Sugar

JJK men as your sugar daddies and what happens when you tell them you're breaking​ things off cause you've secretly fallen for them and "breached" the contract. Or me just being hung up on the whole concept of sugar daddies cause I don’t wanna work anymore and I need Nanami in my life.

Characters: Nanami, Toji, Gojo x you/afab reader TW/CW: angst | smut/implied smut | sorta dubcon | age gaps | aged up characters | kind fluffy | mentions of alcohol/drugs | some mafia stuff | mdni Word Count: 8.1k

MASTERLIST

NANAMI

'I can't see you right now.'

Those words glared at you, sharp black slashes that marred the white backdrop of your screen. They may not carry much weight without context, but they broke you a thousand times weighed on you like the sky had fallen over, crushing you as you heard the voice behind the words, making you regret every other choice you've made so far.

They blurred out as tears started to flood your eyes, falling on the device in your hand, but the pain they caused didn't fade in the least. If anything, you felt exponentially worse, enough to make you wish for death. It was more for the fact that you knew it was your fault, a result of your weakness and lack of prudence, your over-estimation of yourself and biting off more than you can chew. 

Still, how were you to know back then? How the fuck were you supposed to know that things would end up making you feel as miserable as you did? How the fuck could you have been able to tell that you'd be wishing to tear yourself away from the only thing that seemed to make your life make sense? 

If you were told that gods existed and walked in Prussian blue button-downs and khaki shorts as they surveyed their domain from the balcony of their private beach houses, you wouldn't have believed it. But Nanami Kento came into your life in that same exact form, a stoic, tall blonde, ten years your senior, successful in all his endeavors but always too busy for anything. 

Nanami Kento was your best friend's neighbor – at least at their beach-front rest house. It was funny how he was supposed to be this well-known yet aloof individual in the community. And yet, the moment you were introduced to him, he purposefully made a way to be around you where you fell into easy conversation with him. Your friend told you their neighbor hardly ever stayed at his summer retreat for longer than two days, popping out one day only to be replaced by the caretakers who would then tell them that "Nanami-san had an emergency business trip." On top of that, he never really showed up when your friend's parents would invite him for whatever, consistently declining politely, but because of you, he finally honored one of their invitations. 

However, it made you wonder what he found so interesting in a university student like you when his life was so much more exciting, being the founder of his own company. He was a bachelor at thirty two, and he's got everything figured out while you were in the final year of your higher education, and you still didn't know what to do with your life. 

The reason became evident when you met him again after insisting that you should before you parted that evening at the beach, even leaving you his calling card. 

How your conversation went from how his work was going and how your studies were to his proposition for you to be basically his sugar baby was something you couldn't fathom at that time. He just went on about coming clean and expressing his real intentions, then later asked you to think about it before dishing out a conversation about how the two of you should meet again to draft the parameters of your arrangement. Nanami later apologized, smiling apologetically for startling you – the biggest understatement of the century – adding that he wasn't one to beat around the bush. 

"I hope I didn't scare you away," he said when dropping you off to campus.

A week later, you signed a contract with him, and then he kissed you, taking your breath away instead of shaking your hand to seal your pact. Everything went smoothly. It seemed a good idea back then. Boy you wished there was a time when you could have been more mistaken in your life. 

You let out a mirthless laugh as you realized you were at the end of the rope regarding Nanami. You cannot handle it anymore when, for the past half year, you've been putting off talking to him about the state of matters from your end. You know you're breaching your agreement, which is a testament to the reality of your liaisons. You failed at keeping it emotionless, evidently, and every single time you think about coming clean and facing rejection, you felt like cowering in fear. 

You already know how binding those agreements were. Nanami had been clear about what he wanted, and you also agreed because you thought you wanted precisely that – an arrangement without commitment, one you can easily get out of without issues. He would not want you if he knew the truth, and although it took far too much strength and courage to accept it, you managed. But now that you have finally decided to speak to him, he tells you he can't be there. Then again, you didn't even have the right to demand his time. 

It came in a cocktail of emotions when you realized you didn't want his money or anything else he had to offer. You only wanted one thing: his heart. Too bad it was off the table. It's not something he offered to ever be in your contract. 

You hated yourself for being weak, for opening up when you should have remained frozen even towards him. But you couldn't help it when your heart started confusing his caring side for actual feelings over his usual acts of reminding you that he was still the older one between you and actually had the responsibility to take care of you whether you've got an arrangement or not.

You sure as hell didn't regret the perks that came with it – trips to any place you could name, things you get with just one word, and the amazing love-making that came with it. Nanami was a great lover. It never just felt like sex in a transactional manner. It always showed how much of a sensitive soul he is, how much he cared for you. But it's not exactly in the way you wanted it.

"I like you, and I enjoy your company, but being me, this is all I can offer at the moment."

Those were his words, and though it's not explicitly written in the contract, you knew it was over when you started perceiving him as the center of your universe. That was no good, and maybe he knew, considering how he had been "too preoccupied" when you said you wanted to talk. Suddenly, he didn't have time for you, but you wanted to tell him of your decision to end matters in person. He deserved that, at least. Nanami was just too good, and you didn't want him to do the guesswork.

That same night, you walked out of the luxury flat he rented for you, packing a bottle of wine, which you ended up drinking at your best friend's house.

You woke up the next day, still groggy from all the alcohol you drank, to the sound of your best friend speaking angrily to someone in hushed tones. She was telling someone off and threatening them about answering if something ends badly, but then you hear your name.

"Y/N's a really sensitive person underneath regardless of what she says," she tells whoever she is talking to. You don't hear the response to her statement, but there was a long pause, and then you hear the front door open and close with her declaration to give this person their space.

It wasn't long before the guest room door opened, and you found yourself face-to-face with Nanami. You motioned to get up, but he shook his head and sat beside you on the bed.

"Why did you leave?" he asked, straight to the point as always. You didn't expect anything less, but you couldn't look him in the eye as you said, "I can't do this anymore." 

Much to his surprise, you started crying the moment you spoke. It was so atypical of you to show him any kind of weakness, always so independent in your actions and words that he felt useless at times, so he found the need to reach out and hold you.

You flinched. "Please don't."

Nanami sighed, running his fingers through his usually perfect hair. For the first time, you notice how it's not fixed the way it should be and how he has dark rings under his eyes, his cheeks a bit sunken. He looked at you, expressions unfathomable, but you saw how he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"Why not?"

His question angered you, that much he could tell, and it was obvious how you were trying your very best to calm down. You sat up and he felt the need to brace himself for whatever you will say.

"I'm ending this...this..."

"Arrangement," he supplied for you, to which you nodded, the sting of that word evident on your face. "Yes, that."

He nodded in understanding, but he stared you down with a pensive look on his handsome face, and you wanted just to run before you fell even harder. "May I at least know why?"

You bit your lower lip, looking elsewhere but him as your eyes filled with fresh tears. You didn't know how on earth you were going to explain it to him in detail, but as he gave it to you straight and simple, you thought it best to do the same. It would be self-explanatory anyway.

Wringing your fingers, you all but whispered, "Kento, I'm in love with you." When he didn't speak, you started rambling on about how you knew things wouldn't change if you said it and that he's got more important things to deal with over your "childish feelings" but that you can't help it.

"Say that again," he told you.

"What?" You didn't realize he had moved closer, his face merely inches from yours and his other arm caging you on your spot.

"The first thing you said. Say it again." He sounded commanding as he was used to, but then he let his forehead rest on your shoulder, feeling defeated. "Please?" he said, sounding small, unsure.

You wiped the tears off your face, sniffling. You've resigned yourself to the bad outcomes of your actions. "I'm in love with you."

"If that's the case, wouldn't you want to be with me?"

"Because you said you could only offer me this arrangement."

At that, he looked up at you, cupping your face with his hands and staring you straight in the eyes, eyes you couldn't lie to. You were somewhat surprised that he didn't have a single clue as to what had been ailing you as perceptive as he was. Then again, maybe you were just too good at hiding it until you weren't, everything hidden behind the smokescreen of your physical intimacy and the pretty smiles you would offer his way.

"Be honest with me. Did it ever feel like it's just that?" he asked cautiously, groping for words.

This time, you couldn't hold back and began tearing up again, your anger finally rearing itself on the surface. "That's exactly the problem!" You pried his hands off of you and stood up. "I can't figure you out, and I don't want to be confused anymore. We had an agreement, I know that, and I'm sorry, but it hurts too much knowing you can give me anything I ask for but not what I want the most."

He also stood up, invading your space and pulling you towards him. He wasn't about to just lose you, not without a fight. Nanami made you look at him, his arm around your waist tight as he commanded your attention but still gentle and giving you your leeway to run if you wanted. You, on the other hand, didn't need much restraining nor convincing as you found yourself looking into his eyes and wanting nothing but to be close and be able to hold him, own him and all that he is, love him, and love him hard, love him over and over again, surrender your heart and let him have you even if you knew he could never give it back.

But all your notions were dispelled with a few choice words. "You never asked."

"I – what?"

"The thing you want the most that you claimed I can't give you. You never asked for it."

Ah. You chuckled without humor. Of course, it's on you for not asking. "Because I can't! That's not how it works. It's not my place to ask. I've no place of that nature in your life."

"Really now, Y/N?" Nanami looked stung, annoyed even, when typically, he wouldn't even show you a disapproving look at your worst behavior around him.

"It's okay. This is on me." You stepped back from him, resigning yourself to the idea of not seeing him again and saying goodbye. "And I know you're busy, so don't worry about me. I just really wanted to tell you personally, at least. I'll be fine."

"I won't be..."

"Stop it! You said so yourself –"

"I said 'at the moment' back then if I remember it correctly?"

You shrugged. "Kento, you don't have to hyper-analyze what you said back then. Don't stress –"

At that, his expressions changed, and he appeared manic, so different from his calm and composed demeanor. "This is stressing me out."

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

You shook your head. Pity was the last thing you needed, and hearing those words in such a context, even less so. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. You can't just assume things like that. And though I detest confrontations like this, I'm prepared to be in conflict with you for it if it means you stay with me."

You smiled ruefully at him, coming closer to hug him, holding onto whatever you could while you still had time, taking in the way he smelled, the way his hair felt against your palms. "You're really too nice. Don't say things like that even if you feel bad for me. You don't have to."

Nanami sighed again, looking absolutely tired, but had it in him to smile despite your words. "Y/N, I just got the shovel talk with your best friend after I told her I love you – rather graphic, too – and you're telling me you don't have a place in my life? I would not even be here if you didn't matter to me. You, of all people, should know that I don't waste my time on things I don't find worthwhile, but I am here, am I not?"

You felt your heart thundering in your chest as you minced his words, unable to process everything at the moment, but you found yourself overwhelmed with joy that your feelings weren't one-sided. "You are."

"But you're right, so let's end this arrangement."

Swallowing hard, you nodded.

"Let's make this the real thing without agreements and roles. What do you say about that?" He tilted his head to have a closer look at you. 

Everything be damned, but you were taking your chances. "Okay," you whispered.

"I love you. I'm in love with you, too. If it's my heart you want, you can have it. It's yours. All yours, my sweet."

You bit your lower lip, fighting a smile as you glanced at him from under your lashes, not trusting yourself to speak.

Nanami leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he held you closer. "I love you," he repeated.

"I know."

He chuckled. "Now you know. But that's not what I want to hear, Y/N. I said, I love you."

Instead of a response, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close as you stood on your toes to claim his lips with yours, your toes curling as he reciprocated in kind. This one felt different, not like some sort of transaction or a thank you for the things he provides for you. It felt like the real thing...like love.

"Then I love you, too."

TOJI

"She's an associate, Y/N. Stop being such a brat," Toji tells you the moment he arrived at the penthouse where he was housing you a good hour after you stormed out of the party he was hosting. You looked over your shoulder to find his tall, broad form leaning against the doorpost, arms crossed and...smirking.

"Or are you doing this on purpose 'cause you want daddy to punish you, hmm?"

You scoffed as you angrily wiped your tears, entering the walk-in wardrobe and slamming the door shut. You just wanted to be away from him, be able to think without him influencing your thoughts. If Fushiguro Toji was a drug, he'd most certainly be heroin – absolutely addictive with slim chances to none in terms of recovery, but you still wanted more, more, and some more. And you fell right into that trap, very much aware of it all.

You were a budding freelance journalist who got into a tangle with his organization after a wrong lead. He had been nice to you on the get-go, the understanding and very accommodating kumicho letting Miss Nosey off the hook. You kept running into him after that until one drunken evening at one of his clubs, where he had to rescue you from a guy who couldn't take no for an answer.

He drove you home, and instead of getting out of his car, the two of you got talking, and he started showing you pictures of his adorable son. And after fucking you senseless in that same car, he offered you an arrangement you thought you couldn't refuse at that time.

Slowly, you found yourself weaving into Toji's complicated life and seeing beyond just the ruthless gang leader who showered you with everything and anything he could give. The sky is the limit where Toji was concerned, and he was outrageous about the presents he would give you. But that always came with a catch. He took as much as he gave, probably more, and he was possessive of you. It wasn't healthy how he could do whatever the fuck he wanted while your rewards came with limitations attached to them.

Still, you stayed and got lost in the maze that was the workings of his mind and his personal life, which was just about his little boy. You instantly fell in love with Megumi and, in the process, with Toji himself. You know that now without a doubt, and it scared the living daylights out of you.

That realization came gradually. At first, you chalked it up to just a physical response, inducing chemicals in your head that gave you the illusion and delusion of emotional affection. What's love got to do with it, right? At first, it was little things like wanting to see him at the most random times of the day, missing him, and such. Then it escalated into incremental degrees of possessiveness, which you thought was fair given his inclination to call you his, be that in words while he's balls-deep in you or the way he would suddenly hold onto you with those large hands in the presence of others.

And quite frankly, you seemed to have picked up on that habit the wrong way, learning to reciprocate in the same way. It was messy business at best, but then again, it started just as messy.

The thought and reality of it hadn't felt as real as it did when you saw another woman clutching just as possessively at his arm. It seemed innocent, but seeing those blood-red nails brushing on his muscled arms as if their owner had any right to do it or had probably staked their claim made your blood boil, and your heart break. All the while, in your head, you were repetitively saying, "He's mine. I had him first."

You're in love with him, and that's a fact. Because why else would you be having such intense emotional outbursts over the fact that he was dangling another woman in his arms? It's a fact you didn't want to face anyway. He's supposed to be your sugar daddy, nothing else. It came with its perks, but you're human, and Toji is irresistible in more ways than one and never limited to just how he satisfies you physically. You loved him, his son and everything that he is included.

And you thought it had to stop. He didn't see you that way.

You emerged from the wardrobe, pulling a suitcase behind you, and suddenly, tension filled the air as Toji straightened to his full height, sapphire eyes shifting between you and the luggage. 

"What are you doing?" he asked. Gone was his playful mood from earlier, replaced by something darker. He wasn't expressive, almost always looking bored out of his wits, and his facial muscles only rearranging in minute details to convey change, but it was enough to tell you to be on guard.

You walked towards him, mustering all your courage as you said, "I think we should end this."

"Because you're jealous?" He arched a brow at you. "I already told you –"

You shook your head, reaching up to touch his cheek, smiling as you traced downward before running your thumb against the scar at the side of his lips. While it made him look like a hooligan, you always thought it was a part of his charm. "That's hardly the issue here. As cliché as it is, it's not you; it's me. Thank you for everything, Toji. Give my love to Megumi."

At that, he chuckled. "And you expect me to just sit back with that sorry excuse? What do you take me for?"

Your eyes flashed in anger at the way he was undermining the circumstances. "Toji, I'm serious. It may be a sorry excuse for you, but it's not the same for me."

He stepped closer, looming over you. "So, speak up. Do I look like I'm playing here, sweetheart?"

"I...I can't..."

"What now?" He smirked, but you saw hurt cross his features, making you hesitate. It was too late when you realized you were stuck between a hard place and Toji, literally and figuratively. Your back hit the wall, and a second after, he slammed a palm just beside your head, staring you down. "I'm just a lowlife so I don't even deserve any proper explanation, is that it?"

"What? No! That's the last thing on my mind!" you retorted.

"So what? You're done writing your little reveal-all piece on me, so you're cutting me loose?"

How dare he, you thought. You were faithful to your agreement with him, and not once did you ever think of betraying him like that. Again, you were overwhelmed by the intensity of how you felt for him. You shook your head, trying to hold it in when your feelings were close to slipping out of your lips from the tip of your tongue. You didn't like the way he was looking at you as if you murdered his son and only family, but why were you making him angrier?

"If that's what you want to think, then fine."

"So fucking tell me, woman!"

"You should know by now that your intimidation tactic doesn't work on me," you told him dryly.

"You really are my woman," he says proudly, almost love-struck, but you weren't about to buy it.

"Let me go."

"And if I don't?"

"You wouldn't like what I will do, Toji."

"Oh, is that so?" Toji wasn't a patient man, but he always took his time with you, and that trait of his was proven to you for the first time when, in the next moment, you found yourself upside down after he hauled you onto his shoulder and easily carried you to the bed.

Before you knew it, you were on the mattress, but upon realizing what he was about to do, you started beating him on the chest with your fists, tears spilling out of your eyes. It was futile, you knew that, but you still wanted to get away from him. He easily pinned your hands down, silencing your protests with his lips as he took possession of yours. And just like that, you were docile as a kitten under his mercy and the heat of his touch.

"Do you still wanna leave me?" You just glared at him, your lack of response making him grit his teeth and tear the dress you were wearing off of you.

"Toji, what the – mmph!"

Again, he swallowed your words, his hands roaming over your now naked body. He pulled back only to say, "I'm giving you a chance to talk now, darling. Don't waste it." He then started kissing your neck, going lower and lower, the sounds he was making distracting you. "I'm listening, Y/N. And don't give me another bullshit excuse."

Your misery mingled with the carnal pleasure he was pulling out of you, coming in rivulets of tears as you half-sobbed, half-moaned at the way he was touching everything his hands could reach while he ground his crotch against yours.

"Toji, please stop," you pleaded, and he did, flashing you a pained look. For the first time, it seems that he was showing you the real person behind all the facade, the version of Fushiguro Toji exclusively reserved for Megumi.

He sat on his haunches, looking down at your vulnerable form as you covered your face with your arms and continued to sob. "I-I'm sorry..."

"No. I'm sorry," you answered between deep draws of breath. You weren't crying because of what he was doing. It was more for the fact that you were hurting him as much as your arrangement was hurting you. "But what the hell can I do?"

He hovered over you, prying your hands away from your face as gently as he could and peppering your face with kisses. "What is it, darling? Come on, tell me."

"I broke our agreement..." You looked away from him.

He eyed you quizzically. "And how did you do that?"

"By falling in love with you." You finally met his gaze. "I know you said our liaisons will not go beyond just what we really are to each other, but I couldn't help it. I care for you and Megumi, so much so that I want to be a genuine part of your lives. And it's not my place to ask, so I'm sorry."

To your surprise, he laughed, like really laughed, and you haven't felt so embarrassed in your life after pouring your heart out to him. You wanted the whole place to crumble into a pit and take you with it. 

When he was calm enough, he said, "Fucking finally!"

"What?"

He sighed, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that to me?"

You paled but at the same time, you felt your face getting hot, realizing what he meant. "You knew?"

"From the moment it happened, yes. You think you can just walk out on me like that?" He shook his head. "Don't act like you don't know me at all."

"Y-you –" You didn't know what to say, getting up halfway only to be met with a scorching kiss that left you breathless.

Toji undid his pants, letting his cock spring free, and then lifted you onto his lap, holding you close. "I knew you were made for me the moment Megumi's eyes lit up the first time he asked if you were gonna be his new mommy."

"He did?" you asked in muffled tones against the crook of his neck.

"So what do you say? 'Cause I was dying to say yes." He kissed your temple, and underneath, you could feel him preparing to align himself with you.

You pulled away, holding his head between your hands as you looked at him in disbelief. "You were?"

He rolled his eyes. He really wasn't good at this. "Yes, darling. Now, are you still gonna leave me? Us?"

You pouted. "You're not just using Megumi to make me stay, right?" You gasped when he nudged your entrance, knowing he's got you in the bag. "I won't even let you near my son if I didn't want you as much as I do. But I got the best wingman, no?"

You just stared at him in disbelief but he prompted you by thrusting upward and breaking you away from your reverie, a high-pitched moan ripping out of your throat.

"Come on, Y/N. Decide so I can love you as much as you want me to." He grinned deviously at you. "Not that I plan to do otherwise if you decide to go."

"And if I go anyway?"

He smirked. "I don't know, love. I'm yakuza after all."

"Is that a threat?!" You smacked him on the chest, earning you a chuckle and a kiss to your forehead. "Yes. Can I love you now?" he asked and you swore he looked just like Megumi when he would beg you for goodies. So, how can you say no to that?

~*~

GOJO

"Where have you been?"

The silence you expected to arrive to at the penthouse was broken the moment you walked by the vast living room. You almost dropped the red heels you held when you heard that familiar voice echo through the room, quiet yet deadly.

You visibly froze before turning around to see the owner of the voice. He looked upset, those usually bright orbs of aquamarine having turned into cold, hard gems as they regarded you. The darkness of the room that surrounded him like a miasma didn't help in quelling the tension in the room. If there was one thing Gojo Satoru hated, it's when he is disobeyed, and you flouting his orders and going out to party wasn't an exception. Sure, he doted on you and always showered you with gifts and affection, but being part of his world meant you needed to follow strict rules in exchange for the lavish life he provided for you.

You knew you should not have gone anywhere apart from your university and the place you called home. You knew you should not have given his men trouble by thinking you were at home after you snuck out, but you thought, why not? Gojo wasn't supposed to be back until the following day anyway, "Negotiations," he called them. You didn't want to feel alone in such an empty space, which was becoming more frequent as of late. You understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, you refused to and you wanted to act out.

Choosing to aggravate his foul mood further, you shrugged and attempted to walk past without saying anything, but you effectively stopped when he said, "Stop right there. We're not done talking."

Veering to look at him with the coldest expression you could muster, you retorted, "I went out with my friends. What's the big deal?"

He stood up from his seat, evidently pissed off at your attitude. "I thought I told you. It's dangerous, Y/N. I'm just trying to protect you. What if something happened to you?"

"They're your enemies, Satoru, not mine."

"It doesn't change the fact that they will hurt you if they can!" He had such a menacing look on his face when he was angry which you thought never belonged with those easy smiles and generally perfect visage of his. Someone so beautiful being shrouded in darkness was a violation to nature, and Gojo was just so.

"Well then, maybe I shouldn't have gotten together with you!" you shouted back, throwing your expensive shoes on the floor, imagining it was an extension of him you wished to hurt. "I could be in danger; I understand that. I'm not stupid, but I never cared for any of that as long as I have you, but you're never there! Why should I stay put when you tell me to?"

Gojo was evidently taken aback at your outburst, not believing that this was the welcome he gets after being away. At the same time, he felt guilty and deserving of your harsh treatment of him, feeling his heart sinking at your words. "You'll be safer that way," was all he could say.

You smirked at him, shaking your head. "And lonely. You forgot lonely." You shrugged, walking away from him. "I'm tired."

Having ended up in the bathroom where you found solace from Gojo, you leaned your arms and propped your chin on the rim of the huge tub, staring at the city lights through the glass walls. It seemed like a good idea to get tangled up with an older male who wanted to take care of you at your darkest moments, having been fired from your job and thrown out of your apartment which made you resort to sleeping in your car. 

That's how you met in the first place, making the mistake of parking around the outskirts of the city, hugging a can of pepper spray in your sleep when Gojo and his men decided to make an exchange at the empty parking lot of the warehouse nearby. Safe to say, it went awry when men started to pull out guns.

He took you home after his right-hand man spotted you in the car when your phone lit up at the wrong time. At first, he was suspicious of you, thinking you were an asset for an enemy clan. You were probably traumatized or in utter shock when your first reaction to him after seeing him break someone's neck a few yards from your car was to tell him he was beautiful while also shivering at the thought of how easily those gloved hands could murder you.

Gojo had been straightforward from the get-go, never hiding his intentions the moment he thumbed at your chin, forcing you to behold his beauty in all its glory which was just a bonus with how gentle, kind and caring he was towards you. And you clung to the dark angel who offered you a comfortable life away from the dangers of the streets, even offering to pay for your studies when he found out just how well you did in them. It seemed you were embroiled in more danger than you anticipated, however.

To say that you didn't know what kind of life you have entangled yourself in would be a lie. You knew just what kind of person Gojo Satoru is, his pretty hands and his very name stained in blood. The tattoos that adorned his beautiful alabaster skin were a dead ringer of just what kind of clan he belonged to, and it didn't help that he was surrounded by ruffians like a lone rose in a sea of thorns all the time.

They called him The Prince, even his enemies, and what a fitting name, at least to you with whom he showed his better side and true self underneath the emotionally constipated yakuza overlord that he is. But that was the very thing that broke your heart.

You had an agreement. Blatantly put, you are his pet, and he is your owner who poured money on trinkets he thought would make you happy in exchange for favors. That's it. You give him your body, and you get to have him for all those moments he is available. You wouldn't deny that it was an economically good proposition and beggars probably can never be choosers as was the case for you, but you never anticipated just what a lonely existence it would be on top of it being dangerous when you were deemed his weakness.

What a laugh. You weren't his weakness, not even remotely close. It was all for naught when your life is being put in line because of stupid assumptions his enemies resorted to. You will die if you don't toe the line according to Gojo's standards, and for what? They'd probably think they hurt him, but really, they're just giving him an excuse to go on a rampage, which will be for reasons vastly different from their thoughts.

But more than anything, the most significant matter at stake was your heart, if not your sanity. Letting that information out during your outburst was a faux pas on your part, and you emotionally prepared yourself to leave the kind of life Gojo granted you in the first place. You've fallen for him, and that wasn't a good thing when he made it clear just what purpose you served for him.

The sound of water droplets from the faucet was suddenly interrupted by the glass doors sliding open to accommodate Gojo, who had already changed into a fluffy, white robe, shedding it off as he approached you. You didn't acknowledge his presence and merely watched his reflection through the wall. That didn't deter him from coming into the bathtub behind you and pulling you close.

"Would you please look at me, sweetheart?" he asked, his melodious voice making every fiber of your being tense. He wrapped an arm around you, his breath ghosting over your nape. "Did I make you that upset while I was away? I'm sorry, my pet."

His apology always came with a catch. You didn't have to enumerate them when you're only supposed to understand.

"Still mad at me? What does my Y/N want, hmm?" Gojo started placing kisses on your shoulder, moving upwards to your neck, but before it could cloud your judgment, you moved forward, gently taking his arm off of you, much to his dissatisfaction. He sighed, letting you have your space. "What's the problem?"

You hugged your knees to yourself, feeling the coldness of the air when you lost contact with him. "It's not something you could fix by kissing me." As if on cue, you absently scooped some soapy water and rubbed it over the areas he touched.

Being the brat used to having his way, Gojo scoffed. "Are you literally washing away my kisses?" It's just like him to ask about the trivial things when he feels like it. He reached out to touch you when you didn't answer but stopped when you flinched. He immediately turned serious, the air around you becoming charged with tension. "Y/N, will you please tell me what's bothering you?"

"You are."

"What?"

You leaned your forehead on your knees, feeling vulnerable to the whole world as you calmed your inner turmoil and tried to put in words how you felt, how things would end by your hand before he casts you away.

"I breached our contract."

Silence followed your words, and those mere seconds of pause felt like an eternity as you feared the worst. But then he said, "Will you elaborate on that?"

You lifted your head, throwing it back as you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know I don't have any right to be demanding things from you, least of all hold it against you when I miss you in your absence."

"You miss me?"

"But I have no control over how I started feeling the way I do, becoming more pronounced whenever you're not with me. We had an agreement, I know that, but because I broke it, I guess I'll have to take it upon myself to end this."

"End what?" He straightened up, his blue eyes filling with dread. "What – what are you talking about?" He sounded angry this time but like that of an animal cornered as opposed to being the hunter.

You looked at him from over your shoulder. "I'm leaving you, Satoru."

A mix of emotions started to take shape with every nuance in his expression, as if he could not make up his mind about how he would feel about what you just said. For a split second, he looked at you as if you had obliterated his whole being, but then he calmed down, massaging the point between his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I know my role, and I should just walk away before it gets out of hand."

"What role?"

You laughed without humor. "I am, in essence, just your sugar baby, Satoru. You give me things that you see fit. I don't get to demand anything from you."

"Is that how you see yourself?" His tone was scathing but calming at the same time. It makes things easier for you.

"Let's not pretend anymore, okay?"

"So what exactly are you telling me?"

"Do I have to spell everything out for you?" you asked in exasperation, your tears finally dripping from your eyes.

He let up on the harsh expression on his face upon seeing them. "Y/N, baby, don't cry. Please. I just need you to explain. I deserve at least that when you're telling me you want to –"

"I love you, Satoru." You smiled at him through your tears, the most sincere one you gave his way since you realized how you felt.

"You do?"

"I don't regret it regardless of the consequences."

"Y/N, I'm confused."

You didn't address that. Gojo was probably one of the most brilliant people you knew, but it was always easy to feign ignorance, regardless of that. Without addressing it, you motioned to get out of the tub, wondering where you'll start with packing, but then almost everything you owned was technically Gojo's. It would be easy, you thought.

"Anyway, you know now. I should go." 

Gojo wasn't having any of it. He stopped you, pulling you towards him. "You just told me you love me, and you're leaving me behind?"

You blinked. "Am I...not supposed to?"

Gojo smirked at you. "What makes you think you can just walk away now that I know?"

You sank into the water, creating splashes in your wake. You didn't know how to feel about that. It was a choice between succumbing to that false sense of security you learned to accept during the three years you've been with him or relief over the possibility that he reciprocated your feelings. However, before you could even decide, Gojo chose to addle your brain by leaning in and taking possession of your lips, giving you no choice but to melt and submit to his touches.

It was passionate as usual, setting every ounce of your existence aflame while his hands roamed around every inch of your skin, marking his territory. You appreciated that about him, not holding back and giving you what you wanted without inhibitions, but you've always accepted that what you wanted the most, he could never ever give. You've resigned yourself to that fact, and yet, whenever he touches you, you are convinced otherwise because his actions always contrast his words. You hated how hope started to grow in your chest, and although he quickly turned you on, you fought against it and pulled away from him.

"N-no. Stop."

"Why?" He looked at you, kiss-drunk and dazed.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to force you to be beholden to me." You inched backward. "Just let me go."

Gojo clucked his tongue, sighing profoundly and covering his face with his hands in utter frustration. "What have I done?"

You shook your head. "It's not your fault."

"No..."

It was your turn to reach out to him, forcing his hands off of his face as you kneeled before him. "Satoru, you can hardly be blamed for how I feel. It's okay. I am not mad at you."

"Yeah, but I sure as hell am mad at myself." He let you take his hands but immediately reversed roles and held your hand in his. "Oh, Y/N. My sweet, sweet Y/N." His broad shoulders drooped down. "It's my fault why you're doing this right now for making you feel like you had to toe boundaries with me where your emotions are concerned."

"We signed a contract..."

He lifted his hand to tenderly graze your cheek, his icy blue eyes showing that misplaced warmth you've become familiar with even when he made someone beg for mercy. Gojo Satoru always shone brilliantly amid the darkness that surrounded him. You gravitated towards that light no matter how twisted it was.

"This is my doing."

"No –"

"But it's true." He smiled sadly at you. "I know what I am, and I am so deep in it that nothing could right the wrongs I've done. That contract was supposed to be a shield for you against me, Y/N, not the other way around."

"What?" Now you're confused.

"The moment you called me beautiful despite seeing what you did all those years ago, I knew I had to have you with me to have someone to see past the fear I instill in anyone who crosses paths with me." He shrugged. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to feel for me, nor did I want you to feel responsible for anything that involves me. I'm not so cruel that I'll subject you to that, but it's too late, no? I put you in danger, and you don't owe it to me that I am protecting you or giving you everything I thought you would want while keeping a safe distance. Turns out I've hurt you more."

You were taken aback, to say the least.

"But I do care for you more than I can admit or fathom." He beamed disarmingly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I am in too deep, and maybe I should just accept that I do love you."

"Satoru..." 

"I love you, Y/N. Words are cheap, and it may be too late, but I really do." He placed his head on your shoulder as he embraced you, holding you tight, skin on skin. "But if you want to leave, I will let you. I will not be selfish and ask you to stay with me. I want you to do whatever you think is best for you without thinking of me."

Laughter wanted to escape from your throat, not because of mirth but from relief. But with that came the realization that you weren't free anymore, not where Gojo was concerned. He's setting you free, but the lock to your prison wasn't his to hold in the first place. You held yourself captive to him in the first place, locked yourself in, and threw the key away. Knowing he reciprocated your affection towards him just sealed you in a reinforced vault, dunked into the deepest trenches of the ocean that was his warmth. How the hell were you supposed to leave him now when you mistakenly thought you were grasping at straws when he was shackled to you all along?

Shrugging, you wrapped your arms around him, shaking your head at your foolishness. At this point, saying you didn't know what you were getting yourself into is a big, fat lie, and it was probably one you will never make the mistake of doing anyway, unable to deny yourself of what you wanted...what you needed.

"You really are a piece of work," you muttered.

"What did I do?" he whined like a child. In such moments, you almost always forget he was shy of a year to a decade older than you.

You chuckled, returning his words to him. "What makes you think you can just walk away now that I know?" 

Gojo's head snapped up, now wearing a cheeky grin as he regarded you, his hands climbing up the back of your thighs before cupping your bare ass. "Is that so? I'm letting you do what you want, Y/N."

You scoffed. He's back to his usual self, toying with you, but you see the subtle difference in how he deals with you. "I am doing what I want right now."

"Going once..."

You relaxed in his hold.

"Twice?"

"No."

His expression turned dark, eyes hazy with lust as he drew you closer, making you sit directly on his half-hard cock. "You can't complain after this, you are aware, my love?"

Ah, the sound of that endearment rolling out of his tongue was music to your ears. Winding your arms around his neck, you leaned forward and ground your hips against his, relishing the soft groan that escaped his lips at the pressure. "Where do I sign?"

He pointed at his lips. "It's a lifetime agreement, mind you."

You wasted no time sealing your new pact, crashing your lips against his, a kiss that was sloppy at best, excitement and a mix of love and lust heavy on your tongue as you sought his, reveling in the taste of him which felt like the first time. Gojo was almost always dominant, but he didn't seem to mind that you were taking the lead this time, asserting your claim over him, unable to resist now that you've both gotten what you wanted from each other.

"Lucky for you, I don't want out."

~*~

I had fun with these. Wonder if I should do Geto, Sukuna and Choso as well... A little treat to quell the time I'm taking off of writing my ongoing Gojo smau cause I lost all my fucking files. Yay, me!

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20231019]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[bigwishes]

Hey, are you still doing wishes? I am an urban design student, but sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I changed career paths? What would have happened if I went for a sport scholarship, or maybe if I had not gone to uni in the first place? I wish for a little bit of perspective.

I think that's easy enough, although lets look at the you that never went for higher education. A totally different path entirely cut off from university.

First I see you laying in bed for a few months, bored out of your mind as you don't know what to do with yourself. After a bit of back and forth you decide to go to a gym to at least try and make an effort for your health whilst you figure out what you want to do with your life, to your surprise you really enjoy it and go every day, but you also enjoy it a little too much. You go for about 3 hours and you dont want to go a job because you are worried how it might impact your ability to go to the gym, so outside of working out you are pretty fucking lazy. Your day day consists of getting up, going to the gym and coming home climbing back in bed, napping and jerking off.

Its only when you have no money in your account at all and cant afford your protein that you decide to start selling pictures of yourself online to make a quick buck. You are pretty successful making about $120k a year. You dont really care about how much you make though, you sometimes think its too much work to even post a photo. Sure you are big and fit but you have also become super lazy and arrogant.

[vampirememory]

quality ✧ do you need to lower or raise your standards? [Love PAC]

Hello! I believe this is my first pick a card of 2024, I hope you appreciate the topic I chose. This is something that I recently had to recognize and deal with myself, so hopefully you find this reading helpful.

Pick a photo or a number one through three and continue reading to find your reading.

One

No, absolutely not. If anything, your standards are too low. You are like me, at least myself a few weeks/months ago when I did not value myself. You need to understand that you are 100% valuable and loved, and that there is nothing that can depreciate your value. You may have been overconsuming readings, questioning as to why you continue getting into toxic relationships or completely lack a relationship and it's because you have a negative sense of self. Listening to self-worth or self concept subliminals may help you. You are worthy of a healthy, happy relationship but you need to be healthy yourself first. Now keep in mind, healthy does not mean without illnesses. I know from my experience with depression, I will never be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy outlook on life and a healthy sense of self, which is what you are looking for. Especially for my mentally ill friends, no one (not here, at least) is expecting you to be 100% healthy but to be as healthy as you can be, if that makes sense.

Two

Girlie, I hate to tell you but your standards are high as fuck. But is that a bad thing? You tell me. To be clear, when I say girlie I am 100% being gender neutral, this reading is for everyone ^-^! You're giving boss bitch energy, but are you actually a boss bitch? One thing about having high standards is that you also need to meet those standards yourself and you need to ask yourself "would someone like that want to date me"? For example, if you're really aiming for a basketball player or the top CEO, are you actually in a mental and physical space where that will happen? Are you out on the courts, networking and integrating yourself into sports environments? Are you working your way up to the top, making connections with higher ups and building a good reputation? I think you may have good standards, but you aren't reaching them yourself or not putting yourself in environments where you'll meet said person. Also make sure you are actually maintaining those standards too. If you think education is important, and you're actively in education and want someone else who is too, why settle for someone who hates education or isn't looking to educate themselves? Things like that make all the difference. If you want to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk too.

Three

This pile gives me much softer vibes than the other two piles. Your standards and romantic requests may be more traditional, you may want the house and the kids and the white picket fence and that's totally fine! I think you're doing well in terms of your standards, you uphold them and you aren't putting yourself in situations where you are with people who are against that dream or against those standards. I do need to warn you, however, that there are a lot of exploitive people out there, especially when it comes to wanting a more traditional homelife. Waiting is a completely fine thing to do. Don't jump at the first person that looks nice and ticks all the boxes because they may be lying. I don't see terrible things happening for you but I feel like I needed to include a warning. Just be careful and you'll get your wishes <3.

Thats all for today my friends! Check out my masterlist for my previous readings and remember to stay safe in this crazy world! Feel free to send asks with any topics you would like to see in the future.

[sehtoast]

The Mentor and The Mirror (Homelander x Reader)

700 words, similar powers!reader, gender neutral reader.

Ask prompt: What if Homelander was "given" someone, by the higher ups of Vaught, to mentor? They have powers like his, but are a bit weaker and different. What Homelander doesn't know is that they are from the lab like him.

If he found out this person grew up like him, do you think he'd be meaner or sympathetic to them?

“Someone could kill you with a sneeze.  They really think you’re worth training?”  He asks bitterly.  You two have been out in this field for hours now, and he’s fucking over it.

Well, for the most part.

There’s something endearing and fun about teaching your pet new tricks.  See, they’d told him flat out that you were his to mentor, but all he heard was you’re his. The sentence stopped there.

You’re a peculiar thing, equipped with all of his same abilities, except that you lack invulnerability.  You’re a liability for crime fighting, but those fucks on the board of directors already made their choice.  Besides, either he trains you or Stan will be an ever present thorn in his side.  Last thing he wanted was to deal with that asshole.

“Why the fuck can’t you fly yet?  Just do it,” he gestures with his hand, “like a… I don’t know, a normal person?”

“Sorry-”  You blurt out, accidentally flipping upside down.  “I uh, they didn’t let me practice much in the rooms growing up.  Ten foot ceilings, you know?”

He blinks rapidly at that, cocking his head slightly.  What rooms? 

Homelander stores that little bit of information away for later, chuckling instead as you plummet to the ground and land on your ass.

You groan pitifully.  This has been absolutely awful.

“I don’t think I can do it…” You murmur dejectedly, sitting upright.  “It’s hard.”

Now that bothers him.  No student of his is going to fail and make him look bad, and you’re certainly not going to make him have another fucking meeting with Stan.  He rolls his eyes in exasperation before leaning down to lift you.

“Wh–”

You’re weightless in his arms as he spins, winding up to–

“N- NO, NO, NO!”  You shout as he hurls you into the sky.  You flap your arms and legs, begging your powers to work as you ascend past the clouds, further and further until the air gets thin and the world below is square patches of various greens.

“Always gotta do these things the hard way,” Homelander muses, clicking his tongue below.

You continue falling, tears spilling as you plummet faster than you can gather yourself.  You see your life flash before your eyes until–

Oh.

You flex your shoulders back and suck in a breath, and suddenly…

“About fucking time!”

He’ll never admit it, but the excitement on your face and the hug you give him makes him so fucking proud of you.  

Later that night, he delves into your files.  Madelyn’s access codes still work, and he finds your full file with ease.  Your record is squeaky clean.  No past employment, no education, no family records…

There’s nothing. 

And that’s how he knows.

He knows exactly what you meant earlier, and he knows exactly where you came from.

He knows because that’s how his file looks, too.

He knows because he came from there, too.

The next day, when you excel with laser practice, he’s proud, but he’s also resentful.  You’re not just his student now; you’re him.  You’re a physical reminder of everything he’s gone through.  

He hates you for it.

But he hurts for you, too.

It breaks his heart when you pass the medical ward and shuffle closer to him.

He used to do that, but there was never anyone walking with him.

The next time you two are out in that field, he’s much more patient despite how much it grates his nerves to watch you flounder in the air again.

He looks at you and suddenly he’s back there.  Remembers when the doctors would correct his mistakes with enough electrical voltage to actually hurt him.

It always made the lights flicker.  Made the room smell terrible– all hot and rotten.

He hears Vogelbaum’s voice.  

Not good enough, John.  Do it again.

He’s angry that you clearly weren’t subjected to the same. How the fuck was that fair?

And yet…

He’s so fucking happy knowing you weren’t.

If nothing else… they clearly didn’t hurt you as much as they hurt him.

This time, when you fall, he catches you.

Just like he wished someone would have done for him.

[quinloki]

period sex and aftercare and /BUGGY/ are so big brained can i ask for those two plus dacryphilia with buggy and croco-baby and maybe a secret third character (your choice) if you feel up to it!!! Thank yooouuu!!! :o)

Alright, I got ONE MORE KINK ASK after this and I'll be all done with them \o/ Holy shit I can't believe how many asks I got for this (And how much fun I've had dealing with them.)

It helps a lot that I love kinks, kinky people, one piece characters, and learning/educating >.>

Alright we got Period Sex, Aftercare, Dacryphilia (the crying kink) - For Buggy and Sir Crocodile - and since you called him Croco-baby I'll add Donquixote Doflamingo to this.

I am surprised with as often as I feel like I've seen the crying kink pop up that I haven't already done it for ANY of these guy =O

And also yay \o/ AFTERCARE ASK \lol/

Go go alphabetical!

Buggy:

Period Sex - FUCK Yes - It's messy, it's red, it's kind of flashy actually, and Buggy loves it. You don't grow up on the most famous pirate ship in the world without being comfortable with all sorts of things. I feel like everyone under Roger's flag was, we'll say educated, and as such I can't see anyone from that crew being put off by menstruation.

Plus, orgasms are a cure for some, and there's one way to find out if it works for you to alleviate any cramping you may be feeling. You're going to be a complete mess by the time it's done though, Buggy's a little blood-lusty, surprisingly maybe, but he gets feral, and more so than with lipstick or makeup, he loves to "mark" you.

Aftercare - Oh god you don't even know - He is a terribly stressed clown, but I also think he's a big damned softie too. Buggy really is just as comfortable brushing your hair as he is ordering the crew around. Maybe more so, honestly. All that hair he has though, and that makeup he wears, the man's skin and hair care routines are on point as much as his eyeliner game. He will take care of you after every session, even if he subbing or bottoming some of it.

I think Buggy's desire to serve is almost as strong as Sanji's honestly. If you're an important person to him, he doesn't want to let you down, and he will devour your praises. But he's also The Captain™, and no matter what his role was, he's going to provide you proper aftercare.

Dacryphilia - No. - Sure sometimes tears happen. Sometimes you're so overwhelmed they slip out, sometimes you are chocking on the impressive package this man has. Sometimes tears happen, but Buggy doesn't like tears. He doesn't want to see you cry. If your makeup smears he wants it to be cause of sweat and pleasure and touch, not because you're crying. He's not even good at handling happy tears, let alone any other kind.

Buggy's more of let-him-do-the-crying-for-both-of-you type. He'd happily be the only one stressed to the ends of his capacity, than to have you worry. (Which probably worries you xD it's a bit of a cycle like that).

Sir Crocodile:

Period Sex - Yes - He doesn't mind the mess. The cause doesn't bother him. The only reason it doesn't rate higher is because it's hard to know if your period will heighten your pleasure or your pain - that lack of control bothers him, no matter how well or fast he can adjust accordingly.

He also doesn't see it as marking you the same way some others do. It's your blood, not his. It has a scent that isn't his or his cigars. If anything it's an annoyance because you should smell like him, and you shouldn't ever be hurt enough to smell like blood. You shouldn't be close enough to violence to even know what blood smells like, at least as far as he's concerned. But he'll soothe your cramps and discomfort in any way he can when it's that time.

Aftercare - Oh god you don't even know - As said before, Crocodile is all about control, and aftercare is required for control. You don't want to leave your little bottom/sub spiraling with all sorts of thoughts on their own. Whether we're talking toxic AU or not. Aside from the control though, he enjoys it. It's time to bond, to discuss, to connect. The more he knows about you the more control he can exert.

The more control you can hand over.

Plus, as beautiful as you are in his clutches, you're just as beautiful in his care.

Dacryphilia - FUCK Yes - Oh please cry for him. Sob in terror or pleasure or pain, he's not picky. Your face in tears is as lovely as your face contorted in pleasure. The only requirement is that those tears are his fault. No one else is allowed to make you cry.

As much as he will pull tears from you - and most sobs of pleasure as long as you're good - he'll kiss them away so sweetly. Brushing them aside so kindly, and with such praise.

Donquixote Doflamingo:

Period Sex - FUCK Yes - Not only is it a mess, it's a bloody mess. Doffy's a bit twisted and I can see him actually smearing the mess all over you while he's taking a break between railing you. He's not doing it so much to mark you, as he is to almost degrade you. He'll tell you how dirty you are, covered in blood and cum and tears - he 100% gets into degrading you during it.

Sometimes being on your period can make you more sensitive to pleasure, and sometimes it makes you more sensitive to pain - it doesn't matter as far as he's concerned. He'll get his pleasure at the least, and he'll enjoy turning you into a mess in the meantime.

Aftercare - Yes - Unless he's truly into you, don't take this as some kind of kindness. Aftercare is a good time to learn and bond, and for Doffy that generally means it's a great time to reinforce all his manipulations. It lets you think he cares (again, *maybe* he does), and pulls you closer into his grasp.

A truly skilled puppeteer doesn't necessarily hide the strings, he just makes sure you don't pay attention to them when you should be >.>

Dacryphilia - Oh god you don't even know - Cry for him, please. Crumble to pieces in pleasure, fear or pain - whatever it may be that you've earned at the point in time. If you're overwhelmed in pleasure he'll promise you such sweetness and devotion. If you're overwhelmed with fear he'll admonish you softly and forgive you magnanimously. If pain stains your face he'll have you begging for forgiveness, a forgiveness he'll bestow on you when he feels like it.

Perhaps after you've gone raw and hoarse from tears and begging.

Much like others who enjoy making their partners cry, it is a pleasure reserved entirely for him and no one else. Members of his immediate family may get an understanding pass, circumstances depending, but anyone beyond that is likely to be dealt with swiftly.

[sabertoothwalrus]

Hi!! I hope it's okay to ask, which university are you/were you attending? I want to study animation in university but i have no idea which one to choose, so can you please tell me about yours?👉👈

I go to CSUF! It’s definitely one of the cheapest places to get a degree in animation in California, if not the US.

Only a handful of the California State schools offer animation, and most of the ones that do are 3D only, and I wanted to learn 2D.

SJSU has a good 2D anim program, and they’re the only state school in the bay area that does, BUT last I checked you need something like a 3.9 GPA to get in?????? like HELLO these are animation students. who are you fooling

the other schools I considered were CSULB and CSUN.

CSULB has a strong animation program! They have the guy that literally created the worldwide 24 Hour Animation Challenge. However, they required ONE extra art history class that none of the other CSUs needed, and I didn’t have it, and I wasn’t about to prolong transferring a whole other semester just to take it. (It was prehistoric art history, I think, which I admit sounds cool as fuck)

The reason I chose CSUF, beyond liking their curriculum better than CSUN, was because I heard about the Pencil Mileage Club. It’s the largest student-run animation club in Southern California. I’d argue that networking is almost more important than your actual skill. I’ll admit, the faculty is probably not doing as much for the students as other schools, but PMC more than makes up for it. I’ve made all my friends (and girlfriend teehee) through this club. I was president of my Art Club at my community college, so it was important to me to be part of PMC’s council. I’m now an event coordinator and so I help organize and run events and studio tours and guest speakers! :)) Clubs and extracurriculars look fantastic on resumes, so wherever you go, look into what’s available.

Things I should note: when you start at CSUF, whether as a freshman or through transferring, you will not be an animation major yet. You have to do the portfolio review first, and you can’t have any of the prerequisite classes in-progress when you apply. The portfolio requirement is only a few years old, too, and therefore it’s not nearly as competitive as, say… calarts or sheridan. I often say, students make the program better, not the other way around. the higher the level of students that apply, the higher the overall education quality will need to be to match that. Though this does mean that the higher quality a program is, the more people will be excluded, unfortunately.

CSUF’s aniamtion program itself is…. a little silly. You take storyboarding and character design after doing your short film ? for some reason? The new department head started at the school the same semester I did, and she’s definitely trying to make it better. She held a screening of the production classes’ finished films, and she told me she plans to have the curriculum restructured by 2025 (after I graduate, lol).

I’ll also mention that the art buildings are in the process of getting demolished and rebuilt. The first wave of new buildings won’t be done until the end of this year, and once that’s finished, they’ll tear down the remaining two buildings and start remodeling those. For now, we do a lot of our classes in the modular buildings jdhshfjs 🫡

We also have a mated pair of gay ducks that come every spring. Their names are Pebble and Rock. They are beloved by the art students.

And really, you don’t NEED a degree in animation to get into the industry. There are SO many online resources out there, a lot that are free, that can give you just as good of an education (in fact, several of my professors’ lectures have just been playing youtube videos and pulling up articles). BUT your classmates WILL be your future coworkers. If you’re not establishing relationships with people in some way on your own, you definitely need to make that bigger priority. After all, you won’t be working by yourself when you’re in the industry.

edit: oh I forgot to say that all the california state schools are striking the first week of the semester. so uh. there’s that

[spitdrunken]

This sorta ask has probably been sent a million times but Ingo and Emmet having reader as a younger sister and they're all incestous......... Twincest and brother/sister incest?! What more could anyone want???

notes: fem!reader, incest, brother/sister incest, twincest,

i could get this ask A BILLION TIMES and still foam at the mouth about it. if there are no submas blankshipping x reader fans left that means i have died. so literally don't worry about it <3 there is NOTHING ELSE I COULD WANT!

At this point, I honestly have a pretty solid idea in my mind for how I think this situation would typically go! You're a couple of years younger than them and you're a little weird, just like your brothers. During your childhood, whenever someone teases or bullies you at school, they always stick up for you! You love to play together with them. Perhaps you don't share their strong interest in trains and the like, or perhaps you do, but either way you get so happy thinking about being a three-car-train with them!

When you're an adult though, things have changed. You're either still busy with higher education or have a full-time job to busy yourself with and you just don't spend as much time with them as you used to. They're practically famous themselves. And nearly always working. But despite these barriers, you feel like there's something more seperating them from you. Ingo and Emmet seem as close as ever, and you feel… Distant from them. A tiny part of you has always been jealous of their bond. As twins, it seems they had always been capable of easily understanding each other. How could you compare to that? How could you be as close to them as each other? Now, it seems your fear is coming a reality. You get it, though. It hurts, but you get it.

…The reality of the situation, though, is different than you could ever expect. It's true that Ingo and Emmet are keeping their distance from you, their little sister, but it's because they're both lusting after you. They can't control themselves around you. Neither of them are a stranger to incestuous relationships… They've been all of each other's firsts, after all, and they're still in a secretive relationship together. But they couldn't drag you down into this with them. Ingo especially feels guilty about his desires, while Emmet would occasionally bring up the idea to tell you what they want and let you decide. The threat of ruining your relationship forever looms large over both of them, though. An outcome where you're disgusted with them is something they desperately want to avoid.

I also quite enjoy the angle that you're secretly attracted to them, too, even more frustrated because you have absolutely no one to talk about it with. Perhaps Ingo and Emmet are famous enough in the Pokémon world that they have fanfiction written about them in-universe too. And you get off on it, sometimes. Most of it is so hard to reconcile with the intimate knowledge you have of your brothers that it takes you out of the story, though.

If you do find out, it'd likely be by accident. Using the spare key to their appartment for a surprise visit (out of character for you) and you find your brothers entangled, fucking each other, on the couch in the living room. Or otherwise discovering it. You just stare them down, heat spreading over your cheeks. And before Ingo, usually so talkative, can say anything it's Emmet who breaks the silence and asks you to join. All of the focus will be on you if you decide to say yes <3 You'll be coddled and doted on sooo much!

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

You know, I was just thinking about the UA entrance exam.

Specifically, how terribly designed it is, but not for the reason they seem to give in the story itself.

Like, here's how it is: Aizawa is shown criticising the UA Entrance Exam once, during the Sports Festival. And the ONE criticism he makes, is that the use of Robot enemies during the exam would disproportionately affect people whose Quirk work against biological opponents, essentially.

His one criticism, is that the exam is not designed to also cater to people like him, and that's it. The way therefore it's set up, it'd be logical to assume he'd ask for a restructuring to the exam to remove the Robots and substitute them with live enemies, possibly Ectoplasm clones.

This is never brought up again, aside from maybe a stealth bring up during the mid term exams when they switch the exam from fighting robots to fighting teachers.

The exam is, and I just got to it myself while watching this video about how Copaganda paints police training and the relative risk police officers face on the job, set up in a very specific environment:

An empty town, where what is essentially a murder spree is taking place. The ONLY entities in the place, outside of fellow examinee, are robots that have been literally designed to attack everyone on sight, and that need to be destroyed to pass. The points granted from saving people are hidden, so they can be more "genuine" of course, and are, ultimately, also part of the problem.

Because here's the fucking thing.

When the fuck is that ever going to happen.

When the fuck, is a superhero, after their 5 years of Hero training in high school, then entering the work force without a need for a decree in higher education, ever going to find themselves in an environment where they can use LETHAL FORCE on civilian targets? With no restraint or care for collateral damage?

And where they are ENCOURAGED to kill as many criminals as they can, and NOT collaborate with other heroes? Because that's another thing, you need to steal points from other people to pass, by culling the number of limited robots, much like heroes are paid by the arrest and by popularity.

You do understand how fucked up that starts to sound right? The other, the enemy, is reduced as a caricature Droid from star wars, there only to kill and destroy, and against whom your only TWO methods of defeat are outright destruction or sneak attacks on their off buttons.

And here's the cherry on the shit too, because, AGAIN, when is that EVER going to be the case?

Do you know how many heroes show up in the first villain attack in BNHA?

Five.

Two are engaging a purse snatcher, three are doing crowd control, the Slime Villain, who may I remind you was guilty of robbery at a convenience store before he got the hostage, gets THE NUMBER ONE HERO, as well as those same FIVE heroes involved, of which only BACKDRAFT is actually doing anything.

Now, imagine you are a hero school, and you produce 40 heroes a year, just like every other hero school out there. How many of those heroes will see active duty, if the rate of crimes demand FIVE heroes to react to ONE criminal?

And people will say "but EDS, this mentality is later rewarded when All Might retires and it all falls to shit," Except NOT REALLY, because that's an externally forced situation caused by, and I can't stress this enough, a hundreds of yeas old NEET boomer who read too many Doctor Doom comics as a kid and decided to become a supervillain, the riots, the open air warfare, is only caused by AFO forcing the hand and inciting popular unrest, which is an unrealistic thing to expect off any society.

In one of the movies, Class 1-A is sent to open an hero agency on a small island with barely a village on it. 20 Heroes. Until the movie truly picks up, the best they do is help kittens from trees, and Bakugou, the sort of person for whom the Entrance Exam was designed, is useless, left in his tent like Achilles, the perfect cowboy cop who peeked in highschool and didn't realize just how much paperwork and dead time his dream job actually entailed.

So that's the ACTUAL Issue with the entrance exam. It take no account for any other mean to beat the robots but brute force, it takes no account for collateral damage, or the sanctity of life of your opponents, and it tests nothing but how good at ending lives you are.

Which is a problem when you're picking future heroes.

[backmuscles21]

As Long As You Can Share

Poly Recoms x Reader

Summary: You're the only recom doctor, once you met your patients you knew you were in for it. You wanted all of them, it just took one bold soldier for you to not be able to hold back. All the recoms had to share you and they were okay with that, even more okay with it when you told them what you ultimately wanted which they knew one day, they'd give you.

This took me so long to write, it's not even funny. I've had this in the works for months.

Warnings: smut, gangbang, threesome, foursome, semi-public sex, size kink, overstimulation, spit roasting, face fucking, face sitting, fingering, explicit language.

You held three Ph.D.s, two you got before you were sent to Pandora, and one you got once you were hired by the RDA. They hired you for your doctorates in medicine but once they found out about your interest in alien biology, they let you in on a more secret side of the RDA. They then started to teach you about the Na’vi and their biology, at least what they knew. You received half of your education on Earth with the RDA and then you were sent to space to learn the other half.

Once you had that third Ph.D. in Na’vi biology, you were a qualified doctor for the Na’vi. You started to learn on the job too, you started to piece together more and more and learn more. At this point you were 24 and held three PhDs, you felt very proud of yourself for achieving that on your own.

Then you were offered a new assignment.

You were to be the recom’s doctor.

It was a higher pay grade and would offer more experience, so you took it without really knowing what it entailed.

Seeing the recom soldiers up close was scary, they were tall, like real tall and they were extremely muscular. They could snap you in half in two seconds, part of you wanted them to, they were hot even for being blue.

“This is your doctor; she holds three PhDs. Two for medicine and one for Na’vi biology. She was a doctor before and now she’s one for your Na’vi bodies. You will treat her with respect and she is your only doctor. She is available for you 24/7, just give her a call.”

The head surgeon from the medical department announced you to the soldiers, you could feel them eyeing you up. You wanted to hide under baggy clothes the way you felt, their eyes were burning into your skin. The surgeon left and you stood there with the file he gave you before you both entered.

“Hi, my name is (y/n). As you’ve been told I’m your doctor. It will take me some time to remember everyone’s names, but I never forget a face. I will need to go over everyone’s files as well to ensure I know any previous medical problems. Although, you probably can already tell that if your body was hurting before, it isn’t anymore. You probably also can tell that your body is about twenty years old and I know that to be a corporal and a colonel takes years of experience. So, your once-decaying bodies are now brand new. You're pretty much deadly with all the experience you have in such a young body.”

You smiled up at them as you flicked through pages of files on the soldiers in front of you. They looked dumbfounded, you just proved you were more than a pretty face and could handle your own. You earned their respect without even trying, the soldiers couldn’t believe that you were as smart as you were. You looked at each person’s files, ensuring that you matched the name and the face. You’d look down for a moment and read then flick your head up to each different person.

“I will have to get some blood work done; we have samples I just need to read through everything. So far, no red flags, which is good. Everyone is cleared for duty, also good. None of the other scientists put up any red flags. I would like to do a one-on-one with each person at some point to talk through some things and ensure I have any concerns you guys have noted. We have all your human medical files as well, so don’t think I don’t know how you were before.”

You pointed at them and smiled as you walked out of the room.

“God, is it just me or is she hot, like hot hot,” Lopez said.

“Not just you, bro,” Prager said with a smirk.

“Would you just shut up, no one hits on that doctor. You’d tear the poor girl apart with how tiny she is,” Zdog rolled her eyes and pushed Lopez lightly on the arm.

“I could be into that,” Fike shrugged.

“How about you all shut up,” Miles said while Zdog rolled her eyes again.

“Sorry colonel,” some of the boys said.

The next day you started to call the recoms in for a one-on-one with you, just to gather more information on them and any concerns they had. Some worried about things they dealt with as a human coming back, you told them what you knew. There was a possibility of it never returning as the Na’vi DNA may never allow it to but if it did come back, you’d treat it. Most were comforted by what you told them; they didn’t like the diet they had to follow though.

Their avatar bodies couldn’t handle as much sugar as normal human bodies could, their digestive tract worked differently, they couldn’t stomach human food that well either.

However, one physical stood out to you, you were talking with Zdog. You talked to her about her past and how she felt now, you asked her questions about her body. You had her take her shirt off and you traced your hand on her muscular arms and back. You were feeling how her muscles striated to ensure she wasn’t having muscle cramps like she talked about.

“You haven’t even bought me dinner first doc,” She smirked.

Your one finger traced up her forearm to her bicep and you smiled up at her.

“I wanted to get the second base first,” you winked at her.

“Did you just want to feel me up or is there another reason?”

“Hm, I mean I am checking to see how your muscles lay so you don’t get cramps, but I am enjoying this.”

“I can flex if you want, I know you’d enjoy that.”

“I’m okay. I don’t need to change quite yet, I just barely got dressed.”

“Hm, baby, all you had to do was ask and I’d take ‘em off for ya.”

You felt your body heating up, you told yourself you wouldn’t get with them, but you couldn’t deny how good this felt.

“Okay, it seems like your muscles lay fairly flat, but if they keep spasming, just come in and I can massage it.”

Zdog sat back down on the recom-sized bed and you went to grab your notes but before you could Zdog picked you up and placed you on her lap. Your knees bent and placed on either side of her legs; you were spread open for her.

“I quite like you sitting like this and how red your face is.”

She moved your hips forward and back lightly, your eyebrows twitched and she smiled down at you. She moved in to kiss you and you turned your head away, you were nervous. She kissed your neck instead; she could feel you squirm on top of her as she did. She kissed up your neck to your cheek then finally kissed your lips, her finger held your head in place so you couldn’t shy away.

“I told myself I wouldn’t get involved with you guys.”

“Who said anything about anyone more than me?”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked away, her fingers moved your head back to look at her.

“What is it, pretty girl?”

“I’m going to tell you something and you can’t tell a single fucking goddamn soul. Is it bad that I’ve been thinking about you guys gang-banging me?”

She laughed, “oh pretty girl, the boys would love to hear that. They talk about you nonstop. Although, I do kinda just want you to myself.”

“Then I’m all yours.”

“Really?”

“As long as you can share.”

“I have to share with those idiots.”

“Yes, but not yet. You had the guts to get me on top of you so you get first dibs. Until they ask me, it’s just you.”

“Pretty girl, I’m so happy. Fuck. I didn’t think I’d ever taste another pussy ever again.”

You snorted out a laugh at that, “you hang around boys too much.”

And that is how it started, Zdog now had insider knowledge about you and she would occasionally leave to go see you without saying anything to anyone else. She would go to your lab and eat you out like her life depended on it, she fingered you like it was the last thing she’d ever do. You loved that girl so much, but you also longed for the soldiers, you’d look at them when you went in to check up on the other recoms. You wanted to throw yourself at them but they had to approach you and only then would you tell them about you and Zdog.

Next was Lyle Wainfleet, he couldn’t hold himself back, he wanted to talk to you for so long. Then he got his wish, he got a chance to visit you and talk to you and it wouldn’t feel awkward. He was being stupid and happened to slice his arm open.

At two in the morning.

He held a towel over the cut as he went to your room, you told them where it was so that at night time they could come and see you if they got hurt or something happened. You were a doctor, you were used to being on call, not to mention you were their only doctor.

You heard a knock at your door, it woke you up, you heard the knock again and you stood up out of bed and grabbed a sweater and answered the door. Lyle looked at you, he could tell you just woke up. Your hair was slightly messy, you were in your pajamas and you were rubbing your eyes.

“Sorry to wake you but I uhh.”

“Oh my God, Lyle,” you opened the door and ushered him into your room.

“Sit on the bed,” you grabbed your first aid kit from your bathroom and ran over to him.

You took your sweater off and tied back your hair, you washed your hands and put gloves on, you took the towel off and wiped the area around the wound. It kept oozing blood, you placed several gauze pads on the wound, hoping it would help stop the blood flow.

“You’ll be okay, I think you’ll need some stitches, it's hard to say now with all the blood. You’ll get a cool scar too.”

“I’m always down to have a sick scar. I’m always in need of pretty ladies asking me where they are from,” Lyle winked at you.

“Where did you get it from?” You smiled up at him.

“I was being stupid. Throwing my knife around, testing out my reflexes.”

“That is pretty stupid.”

“You’re not even gonna try and make me feel better.”

“Sorry, can’t give you lollipops.”

“Well, maybe you have something else I can suck on?” Lyle wiggled his brows.

“Oh my God, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“I hope not, I haven’t even gotten to take you out.”

“You wanna take me out?”

“Of course, buttercup. I can’t let my favourite girl be all alone.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been alone.”

“What do you mean? You got some boyfriend we don’t know about?”

You laughed, “no, but Zdog beat you to the punch.”

“You mean to tell me, my teammate got to you first? Fuck and I was banking on you really having a thing for me.”

“I do and you’re lucky I made Zdog share.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want all of you. Just wanted you guys to ask me. And you took your fucking sweet ass time.”

“Well, how long ago did you and Zdog start?”

“Hm, about two weeks ago.”

“So, like when you started basically.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Fuck, she’s got some big balls.”

“Bigger than yours I bet.”

“We’ll measure one day.”

You laughed, “I’ll hold you to that. She’s been real fucking good though. I’ll tell ya, none of the boys I’ve been with before hold a candle to her. She is amazing with her tongue.”

“Are you trying to make me hard?”

“Maybe.”

“God, you are so fucking pretty,” Lyle said as he grabbed your face and brought you close to his.

“You can kiss me after I stitch your arm, kay.”

“Sure thing, doc.”

Once the bleeding slowed significantly, you cleaned the area and stitched him a few times in the middle of the cut. Lyle handled it like a big boy and took the pain of your stitching him up and cleaning it out. You placed new gauze on the wound and wrapped his arm up.

“There. Good as new,” you said as you started to clean up the area.

You threw out the packaging and your gloves and placed the needle off to the side to be disinfected. You packed up your kit and put it back and then washed your hands and walked back to Lyle sitting on your bed. You stood in between his legs; his hands rested on your hips.

“Didn’t get to tell you this earlier but your pajamas are cute.”

You only then looked down and realized you were wearing pajama pants that sat low on your hips and a cropped tank top showing a decent amount of cleavage.

“Your skin is so warm and you're so small. Like my hands wrap around your hips like nothing.”

You leaned down and kissed him, his one hand rested on the back of your head the other kneaded the flesh of your butt. When you pulled away, Lyle looked down at you with his classic smirk. His hand on your head moved back to your hip, and from there it moved to the front of your pajama pants. His hand slipped down the front of it, your eyes never left each other’s. Lyle let out a faint fuck when his finger slipped inside your pussy.

You let out a small whimper, you could tell he knew what he was doing, he had experience from before. You gripped his forearm and avoided his injured arm by grabbing his hand just trying to keep yourself quiet, he knew what you were doing.

“You want the other to know, then stop keeping yourself quiet,” Lyle said quietly to you.

You furrowed your brows again, you started to let out your small breathy moans. Occasionally you would whimper and Lyle’s smile would get wider. You moved to sit on his lap, your legs were barely supporting you as it is.

Now you were seeing two people, every now and then you’d spend nights with them or during appointments you’d usually be a little more loving with them than the others.

Next, was Alexander Ja and it happened totally out of the blue, he was a lot more ballsy than any of the others so far. He was in for an appointment, his shoulder was bad again, something about the way he was lifting in the gym. He didn’t really understand the muscle system as well and needed your input, you had him move it a few ways and see how it moved.

You could tell it was his wrist that was weak and causing his shoulder to take the load. You were massaging it for him and told him what exercises to do to help strengthen his wrist. As you massaged his shoulder and back and neck and arm a little, he knew he was in trouble. He moved his other arm to cover the front of his pants, he was getting hard just from you touching him. Grabbed your wrists and turned himself around to face you, you looked at him in his eyes trying to figure out what was happening.

As you opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong, he moved in and kissed you. You, of course, kissed back, your hands wrapped around his neck. He pulled you close up to his body, he forgot all about how hard he was and when it touched you, you looked down.

“Baby, is this all for me?”

He curled in on himself, he was embarrassed, his cheeks tinged purple.

“Don’t be embarrassed baby, I’ve been waiting.”

“Waiting?” His ears moved and he looked back up at you.

“I’ve been wanting to be with you guys for a long time.”

“What do you mean by you guys?”

“All the recom soldiers,” you said bashfully.

“Wait, who have you slept with so far?”

“Zdog then Lyle. Only those two so far. I’m waiting for you guys to ask me. I want it to be natural.”

“So, I’m third then?”

“Yes, you are. I was waiting for when the next one of you got some balls and started something.”

“I can’t wait to tell the other guys.”

“Don’t. Not yet. I want them to find out after they ask. I asked Z and Lyle to keep it airtight.”

“I mean talk has been going around about how Lyle and Z seem happier and how they sneak out a lot. Do they know you’re seeing someone else?”

“I told them they had to share. I want all of you. I told Z that I want you all to fuck me.”

Ja laughed, “you don’t come across as that fuckin’ horny to me.”

“I just want you to all gang-bang me. Like how on earth did I fall for an entire team of reincarnated soldiers in bodies that are huge compared to mine? And blue.”

“We can be gentle. We will take care of you.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“Plus, I do know how to help you if we happen to hurt you.”

“Good point, but maybe I want to be thrown around by you guys.”

“Man, does Lyle know how kinky you are?”

“We’ve dabbled.”

“Fuck, I can’t wait till they all start to get all up on you.”

Once you and Ja started to hang out, it didn’t take long for Fike and Prager to find out. Those three were closer to each other than the others so of course Ja was going to spill to them after they pressed him.

Now you had Fike and Prager knock at your door at three in the morning, you were up looking through files even though you shouldn’t have. You were in your pajamas, eyeliner smudged all over your eyes from rubbing them. You had your pen shoved into your messy bun that was in the process of falling out, and you were chewing on your highlighter. The knock on the door made your head lift up and you sat up straight, you pushed your chair out and you stood up, walking towards your door.

When you opened your door, you were faced with two large blue men, you looked up at them and smiled, not even remembering how you looked.

“Shouldn’t you guys be sleeping?”

“We should be saying that to you,” Fike said as he leaned against the door frame.

“You could but I’m doing work, even if I shouldn’t.”

“I mean, you look like a hot mess so you probably should get some sleep.”

You started to say what as you sunk back into your room to look in the mirror, “oh my God, I’m a disaster.”

“You’re still cute, baby. Don’t worry,” Fike winked at you.

“I have smudged eyeliner all over my eyes. I look like a raccoon.”

“A pretty one.”

“Stop. You said it yourself. I’m a hot mess. What are you guys doing here anyways?”

“We got some information from Ja,” Prager finally spoke.

“He squealed, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“How much do you guys know?”

“Everything. Like how you wanna be fucked by all of us. Let me tell ya, that had me going right away,” Fike said.

“So, let me guess. You guys want in too then?”

“Obviously,” Fike smirked pushing you lightly back into your room.

“Are you guys all into me or something? I mean I wanted you all but I didn’t think I’d get it.”

“We are soldiers and not many humans around here want us like this. Except you. We still want to be with a human and God you are gorgeous,” Prager said as his hand cupped your cheek.

“Well, I hope Ja told you everything because you guys do have to share.”

“We can share. If Lyle’s been doing it then it can’t be that hard,” Fike said moving to stand next to Prager looking down at you.

You had to stop yourself from laughing.

“So, is this what you’re into? Fucking blue aliens twice the size of you?” Fike asked.

“Not necessarily. It’s the dominating aura mostly and the height thing.”

“Knew it,” Fike looked at Prager with a smirk.

“You do realize these bodies are bigger everywhere. There is no way you can take us,” Prager said looking worried.

“Maybe not, but I’m willing to try. I like how much smaller I am compared to you guys. Like your hand is the size of my torso and Z barely has to do anything with her tongue to get me to-“ you stopped your rambling and looked down, blushing a little.

“Wanna finish that sentence sweetheart?” Fike said taking his finger and placing it under your chin and pushing your head up slightly to look at him.

Fike was smirking like a madman, it made you smile just knowing he was getting a kick out of this.

“I haven’t had any penetration from you guys yet. I know Lyle keeps trying and I’ll be honest I’m nervous. I’ve studied Na’vi biology, I know what you guys are packing. I’ve just done hand stuff and mouth stuff. I’m nervous of the pain I guess, I’m nervous that I’ll find out I actually can’t take you.”

“Not to worry babe, I’ve seen this porn where the girl takes a lot and I mean a lot,” Fike looked so serious.

“I don’t think you're helping,” Prager said.

“I want to. Just not yet. Now, which one of you wants first dibs?”

Fike wasted no time in picking you up by your armpits until you were face to face with him, he picked you up like you were nothing and your legs wrapped around his torso. He kissed you with passion like he was dying and your lips were the cure. His hand ran up the back of your shirt, his fingers felt heavenly against your skin. Prager joined in behind you and was kissing up your neck, you pulled away from Fike and kissed Prager. Your neck turned to the side and Prager moved to kiss your lips, Fike barely stopped, he moved right into sucking down your neck. Prager’s hands gripped your hips and Fike’s stay buried under your tank top.

“Hey, Fike are you in here Colonel’s got us – what’s going on?”

You guys never heard the door open, even with Prager and Fike’s good hearing they didn’t either. It was Mansk, he came looking for the absentee soldiers and never expected he’d be walking in on this.

“You wanna taste?” Fike looked at Mansk with a smirk.

“I don’t know,” Mansk replied dumbfounded.

“Come on, pretty much everyone else is already in on it. And look how desperate she is. Pretty much begging for us to make her ours.”

“We can’t do that. She’s too little.”

“You’ll turn her on if you keep saying that.”

“She looks pretty turned on already.”

“Come on, just one little kiss and she’s all yours. Don’t pretend like you don’t want her like you’re not so desperately horny.”

“It’s just one simple kiss,” Prager finally joined in on the conversation.

“I want this Mansk, don’t hold yourself back. I’m here for you for all of you.”

Mansk didn’t reply he just steadily walked over and Prager moved away to allow Mansk into his position. You smiled at Mansk as he got close to you, you reached your hands up and pushed his glasses up and onto the top of his head. You smiled at him and leaned closer to him, you pressed your lips to his and kept your hands on the sides of his head.

“I have been, wanting to do that for such a long time. Having you touch me and having to look at you. It was killing me. But now I have you,” Mansk said resting his forehead on yours.

“Yes, you do. As long as you can share.”

“Share with who? These two?”

“No, pretty much your whole team besides Walker and Lopez.”

“I’m surprised Lopez hasn’t already come begging at your feet.”

“Honestly me too. He gives me fuckboys vibes. Thought he’d be before Lyle.”

“Who was first?”

“Zdog.”

“Really. Doesn’t surprise me as much as I feel though, she is super ballsy.”

“So, now that we’re all a part of the club, what do we do?”

“Think of me like your girlfriend that you share with multiple people. Do whatever you want.”

“Wait, actually?” Fike asked.

“Yeah, what did you think I was doing? Using you guys for my own pleasure? The other day Lyle came in here asking me to give him head ‘cause he was too tired to do anything himself. This is a two-way thing; care about me as much as I care about all of you. Well, I want to be with all of you, I wouldn’t say I love any of you yet. I wouldn’t be upset if it got to be that way, but this is more than sex. I don’t mind helping you out if you want it or just talking if that’s what you need.”

“God, how did we get so lucky to have you as our doctor,” Prager said resting his chin on your head.

“I’m just weird, I wouldn’t say you guys are lucky.”

“When are you telling the others?” Mansk asked.

“I don’t want to tell them; I want them to come to me. I want it to be natural not forced. The way you found out is less than ideal but I don’t regret it, I wanted you to be a part of this just on your own terms.”

“I did decide, a long time ago, just didn’t have the guts.”

“It’s okay, I know I’m scary.”

“You are the furthest thing from scary,” Prager chuckled.

“I’m super mean and tough. Just you wait.”

“Now I’m really scared.”

“You should be, I know how to tease.”

“You sure do.”

Now, the next person to find out more or less found out a while ago and just waited for the right opportunity. Walker saw you sneak into Zdog’s room many times to count, she liked to watch as you walked in and left a few hours later. She would listen to the both of you talk, and talk less about medical stuff and more about how much you loved each other. She would listen to you both giggle then listen to your muffled moans, listen to Zdog eat your pussy and her telling you to keep quiet.

She would be lying if she said it didn’t turn her on to hear you both, she wanted in, she just had to wait till the right moment. She heard you and Zdog talking earlier about you coming to her again, she picked up enough to know that when you were coming here that meant Zdog was giving. She knew you had to wear the oxygen mask when you came into the recom areas, but if Zdog was going to your room then she was receiving more than likely.

She could just imagine how it would feel to have your tiny mouth on her, Zdog was one lucky bitch.

She sat in the common room and waited for you to sneak your way in, like a little mouse. As she heard you punch in the door code, she could feel herself smirking. She watched as you slowly walked over to Zdog’s door, you were about halfway when she spoke up.

“Look at the little mouse scurrying around.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and looked at Walker sitting on the couch, she was smirking.

“Come here.”

You stood there like a dead fish; you didn’t know what to do but slowly walked over. You knew Zdog would be expecting you soon, but you were here just not with her, she’d understand. You stood in front of Walker and she looked at you and smiled, she grabbed your hips and pulled you down to sit on her thigh. Walker leaned forward and put her lips by your ear.

“See, isn’t this a much better spot than Zdog’s bed?”

Fuck, this girl was fucking you dumb and she wasn’t even fucking you, you felt like you couldn’t even speak, you felt naïve, like for once you didn’t have control over what was happening. Walker grabbed your hips and slowly started to move them back and forth, your eyebrows furrowed as you pursed your lips together to keep quiet.

“I know you’re enjoying yourself. Just warming you up for Z. I have heard you talking about being shared with the others in the team.”

You nodded your head slowly at first then sped up, your brain felt slow, she was doing something to you no one ever could, she was making you shut your mouth and take orders.

“Move your hips on your own.”

Again, you nodded and started to move your hips back and forth, gripping her arms as you did.

“Can’t believe all I had to do to get you wrapped around my finger was to get you off.”

“She’s not that easy.”

Both you and Walker turned your heads to look in the direction of Zdog’s bedroom, Zdog stood by the door frame, just shutting her door as she walked over to you both.

“You stole my girl,” Zdog said.

“I thought she didn’t belong to anyone. If anything, she’s ours.”

“She was supposed to be with me tonight.”

“Well, now she’s with us and I have to say, her riding my thigh, I get why you guys like her so much.”

“Wait till she's under you, then she gets real cute.”

“She’s already a mess and we’ve barely started. How does any of the guys get work done knowing she’s around?”

“I don’t know, ‘cause I know I don’t.”

“You guys make me sound horrible,” you whimpered out.

“You are baby, you make all of us hate doing anything else,” Zdog said.

“Why don’t we get comfy in Zdog’s room, that way we get no intruders.”

“Pretty much everyone knows,” you said.

“Yeah, but we want you to ourselves,” Walker said picking you up.

Lastly was Lopez, now he was a little different, he is probably the worst after Lyle in terms of horniness. However, that man was raised right, he wanted to wait till he saw interest from you and then wine and dine you. But after some time, that man shot his shot, the smile you gave him made him nervous like he did something wrong. He was sat on the table in the recom medical room, he felt defeated.

“I’ve been waiting. You’re lucky I had some of your team to keep me company in the meantime.”

“You have! Wait did you say team?”

“Well, you’re the last to know, so basically, I told Z that I wanted you all to fuck me gang-bang style and then it kinda went from there.”

“You had me had at gang-bang.”

“Well now that you know I can be extremely open ‘cause it was kinda killing me.”

“So, I can be very open with you in the recom-only areas.”

“You can be open with me where ever you damn well please. Except, keep it professional if my boss is around.”

“So, I could just,” Lopez grabbed you and pulled you into him and lifted you up and kissed you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and your lips moved together. His large hand held your back and one rested under your butt to help keep you up, your hands wrapped around his neck and played with his braid a little.

Now everyone knew.

But wait, I know what you’re thinking, where’s the colonel, he’s our daddy so where he at?

Well, the first time you met all the recoms you were doing some checkups on them and trying to attach names to faces. The second Miles looked at you, he was down bad, like really bad. He went to your office later that day and just walked in.

Your head flicked up and you smiled, “hello colonel, what can I do for you?”

“Stand up.”

“What?”

“I said, stand up.”

You slowly stood and faced him, your head almost tilting all the way back to look at his eyes. He grabbed you from your armpits and lifted you up to stand on your office chair, your hand grabbed his forearms as he lifted you.

It was at this point you knew you were fucked, that slight tinge of wanting to get with one of the recoms just turned tenfold. You knew you wanted to be gang-banged by all of them, just him lifting you up made you thirst for them.

You held onto the colonel’s arms as you stood on your soft rollie desk chair, you still only came up to his pecs.

“Can I help you with something Colonel?”

“You’re so fucking oblivious to all the stares you got in there. You’re so blind to how fucking gorgeous you are.”

“Colonel I –“

“Miles. Call me Miles.”

“Miles? What are you getting at?”

Then he kissed you, he had his hands on your body and you kissed back, you couldn’t lie, he was good-looking even in a Na’vi body.

“I want to be with all of you guys,” you said mindlessly as your lips pulled apart.

“What do you mean?”

“All the recoms. I want all of you guys.”

“Look who’s greedy now.”

“Just to be fucked by all of you at once, ugh.”

Miles smiled at you, his grin was big and wide, “I can make that happen. Luckily, we can share. Once everyone else is on board then we can get started.”

That was how that first day went, you now knew what you wanted and the colonel was all good with it. As you started to get different soldiers confessing to you, you and Miles would still meet up and have time for each other. So many times, you met up and ended with his lips on yours with his hand down your pants or his mouth on your pussy. After the orgasms he gave you, you’d try your best to suck him off with your mouth as small as it is or use your hands as small as they were. There’d be times when you narrowly missed having the other recoms catch you with him, like the night Fike and Prager came by. You were only up so late doing work because Miles came by and distracted you for some time.

Now you found yourself being very open, all the soldiers thought everyone knew but the colonel, boy were they wrong.

“All we have to do is tell the colonel,” Ja said as you sat on his lap next to Prager.

“Regardless, everyone knows so now you can be very open. Lyle has adapted well. He likes to sit me on the countertop and make out with me, he truly couldn’t care less.”

“Lyle is always like that. He and the colonel are close, he could handle the heat,” Ja replied holding back a laugh.

“And you can’t?” Prager said.

“No, the colonel is just, I don’t know, intimidating.”

“Glad to know you find me intimidating.”

Prager and Ja turned their heads around to see the colonel leaning against the wall smiling, Miles moved to sit across from you and the boys.

“Come here,” Miles said.

As Ja went to give you to Prager so he could get possibly reprimanded, you ran over to the colonel and straddled his lap. The colonel’s large hands fell to your hips, his hands slightly moved to squeeze your butt cheeks a little. Ja and Prager’s mouths were wide open, they couldn’t believe that he knew and you were that obedient to him.

The team knew you to be submissive and have an attitude, you were bratty when you wanted to be. You knew how to push their buttons to get them to be rougher with you, that’s how you wanted it. But them seeing you do exactly as the colonel said was new to them, they hadn’t seen you with Walker yet though.

“Baby, how long has the colonel known?” Prager asked calmly with his hands together and elbow resting on his knees while looking down.

You turned your head around to smile at them, “he was the first. He started it.”

“How did you get her so obedient?” Ja asked.

“I’m the colonel how else,” Miles smiled then looked down at you, “I didn’t know you were bratty to the others.”

“You have a commanding aura that I can't help but get off to so, I can’t help but submit. But, I do need my fun.”

Soon enough all the recom knew and they didn’t hide that they were fucking you, they loved to be crass sometimes. You’d come in to take a look at them and you’d have Lopez smacking your ass as you walked by or have Walker lift you up and place you on the kitchen counter to kiss you. Before getting stopped by Mansk telling her not to finger fuck you where they prepare food.

It only got worse, or better, they liked to walk down very public hallways with you. You watched people’s eyes move up the recom you were with and then to you, their faces would look at you with different emotions but always the same three.

Fear.

Disgust.

Or bewilderment.

The recoms didn’t see it, or if they did, they didn’t talk about it. It didn’t bother you, if anything it made you chuckle. You liked that they looked nervous around you, you liked that they held fear. You would always watch as their eyes went to your hand which was wrapped around two of their fingers. That’s when they held fear, seeing that you were possibly more than professional with them. You liked it even more when you hadn’t washed your hair in a few days so it was up leaving your neck open for the world. The same neck that was riddled with hickies and bites that could only be from the Na’vi teeth, it just added fuel to the fire.

The hard part to explain was how you were always with a different recom, people wondered why you were acting romantic with all of the recoms. They didn’t understand, they didn’t know, they never would, they just saw that you were always holding a different recom’s hand, both the women and the men. It got better when you were with a few of them or a group, the looks were so much clearer, like they couldn’t hold back their astonishment.

You loved being with them and you loved the stares you got even more; you were just wanting for that one thing.

The gang bang.

What you’ve been wanting this whole time, the reason you started to take interest in them.

“Miles?” You asked as he sat in his office.

His head flicked up as he looked at you, a smile started on his face, “what do you need, cupcake?”

You bit your bottom lip, you were nervous to say it, you wanted to say it so badly. A smile crept up onto your face, you felt it getting hot, your teeth let go of your lip as you smiled wider thinking about it.

“I want you all to fuck me.”

He looked surprised, “really? Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Yeah. I mean I think, but I want it.”

“We can try. I know the others want it. If it gets to be too much we can always stop.”

“I mean we’ve done other stuff as a group and individually. I should be able to take it.”

“Baby you’ve never taken us fully. You know how big we can be. I don’t want you to take too much. Especially, there are a lot of us taking each one of us can be a lot.”

“I can do it. Actually, Walker and Z have been trying to get my stamina up for this exact reason.”

“They have, have they?”

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting this since day one. I want to experience it.”

“I know sweetheart. I’m willing to give it to ya, just know the consequences.”

“So, is tonight good then? Everyone else should be okay with that. Everyone will be in their rooms, I don’t know exactly where we should – you know, but I’m good with whatever.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it.”

Later that night, all the recoms finished their workouts and showered and were lounging in their rooms. You were getting some last-minute work done before you’d head into the recom-only room. Only to get a knock on your office door, you stood up and walked to the door and opened it. There stood all of the recoms, your mouth was slightly ajar, you didn’t expect them to come here.

“We thought here was better for you. In your element, quite literally,” Lyle smirked as he walked in first.

You closed the door once they all entered, and you laughed as they all were drinking you in.

“So, we doing this?”

You nodded with a smile.

Lyle picked you up first, he sat you on one of the recom medical beds, your legs were so far off the floor. Lyle took your black heels off and let them fall to the floor, he then pushed your lab coat off your shoulders.

“Stop playing around. Let’s get to the good part,” Fike said.

“This is the good part, watching her squirm,” Lyle said with a smirk.

“Awe, look her face is going all red,” Zdog said with a degrading baby voice.

“Please just take my clothes off Lyle,” you said slightly whimpering.

“Nah uh uh. This is fun. Watching you beg and whine. We know what you want and we intend to give it to you. in due time,” Lyle said with a smirk.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you whined, your hips ground into the tabletop a few times. You were desperate, you knew that and they were toying with you. you watched them smirk at you and stare at you and every now and again they would breathe through their mask before dropping it back around their necks.

“You keep playing like that and you’ll be watching tonight princess.”

“No, please, Lyle just do something, I’m so fucking horny.”

“I know baby girl; I can smell it.”

That made you whine out, Lyle's large hand rested on your thigh as he stared at you and smirked at you. His hand slowly crept up to remove your shirt, your body instantly pushed into his palm. You saw a few of the soldiers take a seat in recom-sized chairs around the room, and a few decided to stand just to be really close to the main event. The soldiers moved the chairs closer to the table you were sitting on and sat around you like they were watching their favourite show.

You saw a few guys already unzip their pants and take their half-hard cocks out and start stroking them. You expected them to be big, but they were really big, even the smallest here was still too big.

You felt Lyle unzip the zipper on the side of your pencil skirt, he unzipped it but didn’t take it off.

“Lyle, please anything just – I can’t take it.”

Your body was rolling closer to him, you wanted more touch, more anything.

“Awe look at the poor girl, so hot and bothered and no one to help her out,” Zdog stood right next to Lyle.

She smirked down at you; her hand was on your cheek before dropping to your collarbone. Her finger lifted your chin up to look at her, her smile made you even wetter you swore. Her hand lifted off your skin and the next thing you felt was her hand going down your stomach and touching your clit. You whined out at the contact, but she didn’t move her fingers. Her smirk made you whimper, she knew what she was doing, she was torturing you more than Lyle was.

“Just fucking move, please. I need it so badly, please Z.”

“Your pleas and your begging are hard to resist but I don’t give up so easily.”

Your body started to try and move against her fingers, she wasn’t going to be so nice this time. She pinned you onto your back, your breath was rapid but God that only served to turn you on more.

“Baby, baby, baby. Behave and tonight will go as planned,” Zdog said as she kissed your forehead.

“Get me off and I’ll behave,” your bratty side was coming out.

Lyle slapped your hip, nothing hard but enough to shock you, “play nice. We’ve barely started.”

“I just wanna fucking cum.”

“Oh, you will baby. You’ll be begging us to stop,” Lyle said as he picked you up.

Zdog moved slightly and took her hand off you, Lyle pulled your skirt and panties off at once and laid you back down onto your stomach. He unclasped your bra and lifted your torso up slightly to pull it off you, he let your body drop that short distance.

“Now who wants first dibs?” Lyle asked with a smirk.

“Prepare her first, she might be dripping but she’s still tight,” Miles said as he leaned forward on his chair.

You knew he’d be controlling things tonight; he couldn’t help it; he’d always be in charge.

“Aye aye captain,” Lyle said as he dropped to his knees and ate you out.

Your hands clutched the foam bed, you ripped and crumpled the wax paper resting on the bed. The recoms watched your face as your brows furrowed and you slammed your eyes shut, your whines were making them eager. You were crying from the overstimulation, he was good with his mouth but you knew that already, you wanted the good stuff.

“Someone just fuck me already. I’m prepped enough, just give it to me.”

“Don’t come crying to me when you’re crying from not being stretched out enough,” Lyle said pulling away from your pussy.

“Ja, Prager, you two go first. One of your fucks her mouth, she won’t last many rounds and she won’t be able to take two of you at once,” Miles said as he leaned back in his chair.

You had a feeling he got off on telling people what to do and being extra authoritative, you could see how hard he was, the bulge in his pants was huge. He wasn’t even touching himself; he wasn’t even resting his hand on it. Thinking about how big he was and how restrained he was made you arch your back; he was smiling slightly as he saw you staring at him. That smug fucker knew what he was doing, he could get you off on his commanding tone and words alone and he fucking knew it.

“On it boss,” Prager said as he stood.

Ja stood as Lyle stepped back and Ja took his position, Prager moved by the table and he repositioned you so you could suck his dick and Ja could still fuck your brains out. Prager took hold of your hips well Ja went by your head; his large hand swept your hair back and he unbuttoned his pants. Looking right at Ja’s cock, it looked so much bigger right by your eyes, you opened your mouth when the tip hit your lips.

Before you took Ja’s cock into your mouth, Prager was fingering you, you were wet enough, he just wanted to ensure you were stretched enough. He pressed the tip to your small hole and slowly started to press in, he moved so slowly. He wanted to just thrust his hips with reckless abandon but he had to be considerate of you, he had to ensure you got used to him as he pushed inside.

You cried out as he got further in, the stretch was too much but it felt so good. Your hands gripped the table, Prager was still only halfway in and you were crying out, a few tears escaped your eyes. At this point, Ja pushed his cock into your open mouth, silencing your whimpers. Your mouth was small and you didn’t take a lot of Ja into your mouth, but you knew what you were doing. You brought your arms up to fondle his balls and the other stroked his shaft, your tongue was mainly focusing on stimulating the tip.

Ja was moaning out at the stimulation you were giving him, which made you feel good knowing that he was able to get off even with your tiny body. Prager on the other hand, still hadn’t bottomed out, he was close. When his hips finally hit your butt, he stayed buried deep inside you just waiting for you to calm down and adjust to how big he was.

When he finally decided to start moving out a little, your body was instantly reacting, your moans were just making Ja closer. You wrapped your lips around your teeth, your mouth was open as wide as it could go. You could barely feel Ja twitch in your tongue; however, Prager was pulling out further and pushing back in. You gripped the bed under you with all your might, your fingers ripped at the wax paper set out on the bed. Prager was getting faster and pulling out till the tip was the only thing inside, he thrusted back in with more force causing you to take Ja deeper as you were thrusted forward.

You felt so stuffed just from being spit-roasted, you knew Ja would come first, you could feel it. Prager was still thrusting into you harder; you knew he was close too. Every time he pushed in, he would push in deep and stay still for a moment, like he was expecting to fill you with his cum. He wouldn’t stop his ruthless pace; it made it easier to suck Ja off at least.

You felt Ja’s cum fill your mouth and fall down your throat, you felt it come out the sides of your mouth and drip down your chin and neck, there was so much, too much. Ja pulled out of your mouth and suddenly the room was filled with your strangled cries, you kept moaning out loudly just from Prager’s heavy thrusting. He came so deep in you; he probably was pushing past your cervix every time. You felt a few tears fall down your cheeks just from him cumming inside.

You probably would’ve cum yourself if you weren’t so busy taking in all the new feelings of them. You didn’t care that Prager didn’t make you cum because you had so much more to take.

Walker came up next, she didn’t even wait for the colonel to give an order. Once Prager pulled out, she immediately took his spot, she pretty much just shoved him over and flipped you back over. She smiled down at you, she heard no objections from Quaritch so she continued.

“Stupid boys, they don’t know how to treat a pretty girl like you. They’re so useless, they couldn’t even make you cum.”

You whimpered at her words, your hips lifted and ground into her abs.

“I’m gonna fuck you dumb, baby,” Walker said as she wiped your cheeks from the few tears.

“Please,” you whimpered out.

She smiled as she kissed down your lips then your tits then down your stomach and landed on your clit. She started to suck on your clit, she lifted your hips up to really push her face to your body. Your hands gripped at her cornrows, your back arched and you cried out. You were so thankful that they made the med lab soundproof because there was no way you could hold back.

You could feel someone moving to lay on the bed, but you didn’t care, Walker’s tongue on you was all you needed to focus on. Then you were picked up by Walker and she sat you right by the head of Zdog, she smirked up at you. Zdog’s hand grabbed your hips and brought your pussy to her mouth, immediately you bent a little at the waist and gripped the bed as you moaned. Walker straddled Zdog’s stomach and started to finger you as Zdog ate you out.

You had two girls working on you to make you cum, Walker was kissing your neck and you leaned back into her chest. You couldn’t help your hips from moving back and forth to grind down on Walker’s fingers and Zdog’s tongue. It was only then that out of the corner of your eye, you could see Fike stroking himself, it made you smile that he was so turned on by the sight of the three females.

You flicked your head to the front of the bed, he moved and stood right by Zdog’s head and you leaned forward and started to wrap your lips around him.

“You boys will get your turn later, let us have her for at least a few minutes,” Walker spoke.

“I’ve been hearing her moan for too long; I’ll take what I can get,” Fike replied.

You had your hand on the base of his shaft and you took him as far as you could, you could feel him bruising the back of your throat more than Ja already did. Your moans were doing the same thing to him, causing his throbbing cock to twitch on your tongue. His hand gripped your hair and tried to shove himself further down your throat.

“Careful Fike. Otherwise, you’ll sit out,” Miles said with his hand on his mouth and his leg widely crossed over the other.

Fike pulled back a little but you went right back in, sucking him in further than he pushed in. He let out a guttural throaty moan.

“God woman, you really are our little slut, aren’t you?”

You knew you were close, but you probably still had a few seconds in you, but Fike’s words. You came on Zdog's tongue and Walker’s fingers in no time, just from Fike calling you their slut.

“Fuck, you like that don’t you sweetheart. You’re our slut. Only for us.”

You nodded lightly as he started to fuck your throat the best he could with his large cock. You were grinding harder on Zdog’s tongue and Walker’s fingers; you were getting impossibly hornier again. Fike came down your throat, he pulled out and wiped your mouth and held his thumb up for you to lick the remnants off.

You lifted yourself off Zdog and turned around to kiss Walker, you wanted to get her on her back so you could eat her out.

“No, no baby. Don’t waste your energy, you got a lot more to handle,” Walker said.

“But you guys need to get off too,” your brows furrowed as you looked up at you.

“Awe, you’re so cute but I’ll be okay. Me and Z always have each other while we watch you take more.”

“But I wanna taste you.”

“Another time,” Zdog said as she sat up and kissed your shoulder.

Lopez picked you up and he and Mansk went in next, Lopez smiled at you as he sat down on the bed and pulled you into his arms. He faced you towards Mansk who held you up and Lopez slid into your slick hole, your eyes were slammed shut and you whimpered as he pushed deep inside. You were lucky with him; he wasn’t as thick but so much longer. Once you were seated on Lopez with his arm wrapped around your waist, he waited for a moment before moving.

In that time, Mansk took his dick out and you went right to work, you grabbed it by the base and stroked it a few times before you took him into your mouth. Now that you were comfortable with the size and length of the recoms you took him deep and went right to bobbing your head. Lopez started to move his hips; he was fucking up into you.

Lopez held your hips as you leaned forward to suck off Mansk, Lopez used his grip on you to pull you up and down his cock. Your small hands gripped at his lower thighs, your nails digging into the rippling muscles of his legs. You could feel them flex every time he thrusted into you, it just made the feeling more overwhelming.

You knew Lopez was cumming, you could feel it, his cock was throbbing against your gummy walls. You couldn’t stand it, the feeling was so overwhelming, it felt good, not enough to make you cum, but it was a great feeling. His cum dripped down your thighs, mixing with all the other cum. Lopez pulled out slowly, your mouth didn’t leave Mansk’s dick.

It only took a moment for Lyle to slide in, he was like a giddy schoolgirl. You were bent over on your knees, supporting yourself while you sucked Mansk’s dick. Lyle ran his giant hand up your back, his other hand moved down your butt to spread your legs a little more.

“Fuck, look how red your pussy is. Have we been too rough?” Lyle slid his hand from your fucked out hole to your clit, he dragged yours and others' juices up with it. “Does that hurt baby? It’s so fucking red, you’ve been taking too much.”

Lyle slowly kissed your back a few times, letting his teeth lightly scrape over your skin. Every now and again he would lightly bite into your skin causing you to moan around Mansk’s cock. Lyle liked to play, he liked to have fun, he liked to watch you squirm as he degraded you. Lyle freed his cock from his cargo pants, he was already solid and had been since this whole thing started.

Lyle slowly pushed inside, you were stretched out quite well and very slick but still, you were such a tight squeeze. Lyle started to fuck you almost as brutally as he wanted, he held your waist and he just fucked you brutally. You were so focused on Lyle’s thrusts you didn’t even feel Mansk cum down your throat. He held your face as he pulled out of your mouth, your jaw was sore that you knew. You figured there was a possibility of waking up tomorrow with a bruised jaw and probably bruises all over your hips and legs.

Lyle went to town knowing you were everything he had in front of him, no one else was there to take your attention away. He leaned onto your back and wrapped an arm around your waist, his arm held both your bodies up as he lifted you to rest against his chest. His movements were shallower now but he reached so deep, causing your moans to be longer and more whiney.

It didn’t take long after that for his cum to drip your thighs along with yours shortly after. Your head was limp, you were sore and exhausted, Lyle pretty much was the only thing holding you up at this point. He slowly pulled out after a moment or two, you lay on the bed as Quaritch stared at you.

“Come here, cupcake,” Miles said lowly.

You slowly sat up with a whimper and climbed off the bed, your legs buckled slightly and Ja being closest to you went to catch you if you fell. You slowly stumbled over to Miles and rested your hands on his shoulders and straddled his legs. Miles' hands went to your hips and he made you grind on his bulge, your eyebrows furrowed.

“Take it out,” Miles said lowly and monotone.

You slowly unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants, you reached into his briefs and pulled out his hard cock. His hips grabbed onto you tighter and lifted you up enough to have you sink down on his cock. You whimpered out, you were so sensitive and overstimulated.

“How was your gang bang, cupcake?”

“So good, but tiring.”

Miles smiled and rubbed at your back, your head then rested on his pec and your arms were around his ribs and slowly fell limply at your side. You had fallen asleep with Miles’ dick deep inside you and you couldn’t have been more happy to end the day that way.

[ace-no-isha]

anyways recently i’ve been really thinking about what it means to be alive and the terror of aging and growing up cus those are two separate things. growing up means taking on more responsibilities and cutting off alternate paths that your life could’ve taken. it means committing a third of your life to being a cog to capitalism till you die cus pension is not going to fund our generation cus the older generations failed us and are wasting it all and there will be none left for us when we are old. and then the growing old part. do you not feel horrified knowing one day your body is going to become less functional than it is now? joint issues run in my family. i’m going to be in even more constant pain than i am already if i get old and that’s the mildest of it. watching everyone you love die? externalizing the emptiness that consumes your very being and having nothing to fill it? being left behind. i cannot. i will not. it is just not happening.

and the ppl who say but what about the good!!!! it will never balance it out. two days a week where one is prepping for the next work day and maybe two weeks vacation is not enough to make little moments worth waiting for. i’ve already traveled. i’ve loved deeply. i’ve gotten tattooed and i speak six languages well. i’m not proud of who i am outside of these things but i’ve tried. i’ve failed a lot. i might only be 21 but even being 21 is a failure. me 10 months ago didn’t want this and it feels like they were more and more right the more time passes

going absolutely bananas can you tell? anyways gonna watch saiki k we’ll see if sober me flips out over this ciao

i got tipsy 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

[oglyndwr]

I have so many head canons and a dormant tumblr account let’s fix that

What I think the raven boys would major in in university also I go to the uni that Maggie Stiefvater went to so that means I’m right duh (warning I acknowledge canon but also do with it as I please. This is not by choice it just happens in my brain.):

Gansey: Two possibilities here,, I mean… History is one of the obvious ones but I think he’d do Historic Preservation then work in museum curation. This is if he follows his own whims. More likely he’d follow after his dad but he would absolutely not be doing poli sci I see that everywhere it’s wrong everyone knows they make no money and if he’s following his dad then he’d listen to his dad who would be saying no absolutely not poli sci majors are liberals. He’d be doing pre-law then go into politics. Probably go to law school also. Honestly he’s smart enough to ace law school while also doing his nerd glyndower shit ‘on the side’ so I lean more pre law. Sometimes.

Adam: honestly I think it depends where he goes. Definitely Ivy duh (although let’s be so fr even with a scholarship realistically he would never be able to afford that… fantasy to the max American higher education is fucked up). He’d do something conventionally difficult and lucrative because duh, and he’d choose whichever one of those programs the college he chooses is known for. I can see him doing pre law with gansey, biomed, applied math, or Econ. I despise Econ myself but surprisingly find myself imaging him in that program more so than the others (except maybe pre law with gansey) because of his history with money; I think it would make sense that he’d go into that field since he’s been financially conscious from such a young age. Plus it might make him feel like he has more control over his own financial situation (trauma symptom or trauma coping? Who knows)

Ronan: pretty sure Ronan canonically does not go to college. For these purposes I throw this fact to the wind. Obvious choice might be agricultural science but I also throw that in an incinerator this time. Ronan would feel like he learned everything there is to know about farming from Niall and refuse to listen to his professors if they say anything contradictory to what Niall’s taught him (but really he just doesn’t want to taint Niall’s memory. Bittersweet so Ronan). On the test he’d circle the answer the professor is looking for then write in “wrong.” With a lengthy description of some Blackwood method his dad taught him (that probably actually is more environmentally conscious and efficient) with every other word being an insult to the professor or profanities. Also if this is a world where his magic is still valid… absolutely no way he’s majoring in a hard science he doesn’t need it he has fucking magic. He can dream a forest he can dream a harvest he doesn’t need to know slash and burn or whatever the fuck. Other obvious choice would be classics or Latin (is Latin even a major?) and like… yeah but too duh to be interesting to me. There are a few options I like to entertain. I feel like when his parents were alive they all played trad Irish instruments/music together, and Ronan might major in music performance. This seems most realistic to me because he wouldn’t have to study all that much and since it correlates with his love for Niall he’d be less likely to refuse to practice/study/go to class out of spite if a professor pissed him off (which I feel like he’d do in any other discipline). I also think he’d have started really young so he might not even have to practice that much, but he’d still practice a lot bc like I said, his love for Niall would be translated into his love for the instrument. As for the instrument itself, I’d like to say Irish bagpipes but secretly I imagine it’s fiddle (def ooc tho). I also think he’d be well versed in all of the instruments like at least know the notes even if he would need sheets (I imagine he’d be able to play virtually anything by ear on his primary instrument) like Concertina, accordion, whistle (god imagine squash song on a fucking tin whistle… he’d do that bit so much and it would be 100x more insufferable), maybe flute, DEF spoons but mostly for bits, etc. I think he’d also learn banjo but he’d play more folksy Appalachian music on that. Another major might be civil/environmental engineering or some other applied science but like.. I just do not see him caring about learning the foundational stuff,, especially in a classroom setting. He’d want to know the stuff you need to know to do the actual work and none of the other foundational math, theory, conceptual shit. He’d fail the physics pre req because he wouldn’t open a textbook with a gun to his head and wouldn’t be able to recite the fundamental theorem of calculus. He’d probably even know it or at least how to apply it practically, he just wouldn’t have it memorized in those terms yk?? Anyway, final decision music performance.

Blue: I also don’t think blue went to college in canon and this makes sense to me. However, let’s say she did. I’m not very concrete in these headcanons but I’m thinking studio art, fashion design, or maybe poetry/creative writing as my primary inclinations. Secondary: sociology? I think she’d be into that and have a lot to say in those classes. She cares a lot. Maybe gender/sexuality studies but I just personally don’t like that one so even though I see it in her I choose not to acknowledge or engage. I can see journalism, she’s got a quick tongue and is very passionate about social issues buuuut I think she might be too adversarial to do interviews. Like as soon as the person she’s interviewing or whatever says something she doesn’t agree with she wouldn’t be able to wait to write the scathing piece she’d just flame them right then and there boom interview over not enough content for an article. Also maybe environmental science (I can see her doing research in this field like knee deep in a river collecting samples to measure turbidity or some shit but it’s so interdisciplinary I don’t think she’d major in it.. but also I can see her being vegan and like one of those crazy British climate activists DISCLAIMER I’m absolutely not hating on this in fact I am an environmental science/physics double major who is also a vegan knee deep in rivers doing research on mineral accumulation in VA lmfao). I can sooooort of see her doing poli sci but also like no absolutely not she’s too anarchistic like she’d be fucking the system left and right then get kicked out or something (but also most poli sci majors I know are extreme leftists in the way I imagine she’d be… so…) Overall I think studio art or fashion design would be her thing and she’d also be a cool ass barista on campus that everyone is in love with

Noah: yeah yeah he’s dead but not in my heart he’s not. He’d be alive and doing aerospace engineering. Yes I know your eyes just bulged out of your head but hear me out. He’s so precious I feel like he was a dinosaur kid but like the kind where literally everything about his life was dinosaurs his pjs his books his room his birthday parties like you know the type. Then when he grew out of that at like 5 or 6 he became a space/planes kid. He’d make models of planes and there would be a bunch hanging from strings on his ceiling with a model of the solar system in the corner. He would never have grown out of this. In elementary and middle school he’d be in the gifted program and from my experience in the VA public school gifted program we did soooo many building projects that in hindsight were just fun engineering challenges for kids. I also headcanon him being good with numbers but don’t have an explanation for this.. maybe it’s because his first sentence had a number in it. Maybe I’m thinking of how he has to calculate dates or something? Whatever anyway he’d be the first kind in third grade to master their multiplication tables and teachers would love him because even though he’s hyperactive (ALIVE AND HYPERACTIVE THANK YOU) all of his special interests are sciencey and maybe he’s not paying attention to the class material but he’s explaining something he read in an astrophysics book to his seatmate so they wouldn’t be mad (this is me projecting because I was hyperactive but I would explain the entire plot of warrior cats to my seatmates and neither the teachers nor my classemates appreciated that ever… didn’t matter if I was first at multiplication warrior cats freak was immediate social isolation so I choose to live vicariously through my own fictional Noah czerny thank you very much). At Monmouth he’d make rockets and Ronan would paint them crudely and they’d fuck around launching them in fields coming up with dumb experiments and betting on them. Ronan would sometimes cheat by dreaming ones that don’t obey the laws of physics and Noah would secretly inspect them for hours in his room later trying to figure it out (but Ronan would only do this very rarely so Noah wouldn’t catch on). Then he’d go to college and obviously do aerospace engineering AND he’d excel because he already knows all there is to know about aerodynamics, propulsion, and flight mechanics. I am so sure of this I don’t even have alternate hypotheses. Also super random but I headcanon that Noah is Jewish and he him and Ronan lovingly rib a lot about catholic jew shit (guys as im writing this im realizing that I just want to be my fictional version of Noah someone be my sassy catholic Irish emo bestie please)

Ok that’s all thanks for listening

[centrally-unplanned]

To narrow in on the limits of campaigning, lets take the classic Yglesias axe to grind:

Republican elites were profoundly divided on the wisdom of renominating Trump and obviously plenty of them think it was a mistake. But the decision has been made, and now they either vocally support that call or they stay politely quiet. When Trump feints to the center, those who favor the move loudly amplify it and exaggerate the extent of Trump's moderation, those who don't stay politely quiet and hope for the best. The Dem coalition, by contrast, is tchetchy and every constituent element feels that everything is up for constant renegotiation on a day-to-day basis — everyone's priority is on standing within the coalition not on doing the work to win.

In practice, what is being described here is that Republican organizations have fallen in line. Politicians are campaigning for Trump, activist groups are saying to vote, the media is full court press in his favor. They actively silence and push away from problems, focus on strengths, campaign on the ground, etc. This is effective for mobilizing voters and persuading sympathetic-but-undecideds. I agree with that.

The critique is that the democrats haven't done that, right? In practice, it means politicians aren't campaigning on the ground, media isn't shutting up about his issues, activists are sniping their own coalition instead of getting out the vote, and so on. And that is hurting Biden.

Or is it? It is to some degree, this critique is correct at some margin. If Biden could have a unified party going full-throttle, his polls numbers would be higher by X%. And some actors should switch behavior due to that. But I don't think, realistically, X is at all that high? Because the political parties in the US are just very, very different.

How would "dem media falling in line" look? What media?? The New York Times is not a dem establishment! Its incredibly liberal-left leaning, but its committed to neutrality as a core of its brand (and dissident snootiness as the other core of its brand). If it abandoned that its readers would *leave*, they have other options. And so on down the chain - a lot of the "dem voters" actively want balanced coverage and dissent. If I read a news source never criticizing Biden I would quit it, no way, this news isn't good.

And so on down the chain again, activist groups "driving out the voter?" What does that mean? I don't listen to activist groups, that is fucking cringe. Yeah, sure, they can drive some vote, but most of their affiliated members are loose, they don't listen that much to them. To the extent that they do not reflect the desires of their members, they will fall apart. Is Nancy Pelosi not supporting Biden? She does! Most dem politicians do. You just don't care, you can make up your own mind.

Dem voters are more of a looser coalition, they are on average better educated/smarter and more independently minded, and they live in places of increased social atomization & independence. They just cannot be mobilized the way republican voters can. Sometimes, you can really "animal spirits" it? Do the 2008 Obama, be a charismatic vessel for their hopes and dreams. But that is not a controllable phenomenon, and very hard for incumbents to pull off. Its not a switch Biden can flip.

So saying "Biden needs to do this to campaign better" on this topic is a bit of a chicken and egg thing, like yeah I too would like to fix the inherent inequality in the American voting public! Hopelessly unbudgeable, no, but the margins here are probably smaller than the wonk strategist types want to admit. You could never, in any world, have gotten the "Israel/Palestine left bloc" to "fall in line". That is a fundamental misunderstanding of the American body politic.

[brotherblaze]

JAILBAIT³ —simon 'ghost' riley

▹ simon 'ghost' riley/gn!reader

▹ part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

▹ synopsis: it's time to go home and Ghost finds himself realizing there's never enough time to spend with you.

▹ cw: suggestive themes, a sprinkle of angst

▹ wc: ~3,5k (idk what happened)

▹ please don't try to 'educate' me abt what 'jailbait' means especially if you haven't even read the fic

You pointedly ignore the rookies working out as you step into the gym.

Even when you pass the ones Ghost had scared shitless just days earlier, you keep walking, ignoring the familiar pull of desire to antagonize. The idea of messing with them is chased away the moment it arrives but yet it tries to linger. One last laugh at their expense, one last display of power that hinges on the existence of the hulking mass of a man you call your boyfriend (one that wouldn't even exist without the ties that bind you to him).

But between the desire to antagonize and the desire of spending money that isn't your own, Simon (and his money) reigns supreme.

Ghost has retreated to the very back of the gym. He's sitting on the floor, stretching, when you come into view. It's like he's drawn to you like a magnet, his sixth sense of your presence is honed to nigh-perfection because he's already looking in your direction when you see him.

He's shirtless, though still wearing his balaclava. For a moment, you allow your eyes to trail his impressive physique, the scars and burns and bruises a collection of constellations that make up Simon Riley.

"Men are being sluts again, nature is healing." you place your hand over your heart, glancing up as if to thank a higher power and Ghost can't help but roll his eyes at your antics. "I'd also love to see you all oiled up, by the way, or with a collar and a leash—either works, honestly. Just like, a little something to think about."

"Too much of a good thing..."

You don't reply immediately and Ghost can practically see the gears turning in your head, brows slightly furrowed, nose scrunched and lips parted. "A large piece... will split your mouth." A moment of silence, and then a look of disappointment. "Why do I even bother trying to translate proverbs? I hate English—horrible, ugly language."

It's not that he's laughing at you, or your inability to translate ("Shut up, Colonizer, how many languages can you speak?" you'd hissed at him once and Simon had promptly bit his tongue because you know seven languages and how could he ever compete with how effortlessly you speak them?) but because he likes your ability to slip into a wholly different language so effortlessly. You jab him in the calf with the nose of your shoe.

"What do you need?" Because you wouldn't set foot into a gym voluntarily if it's not the first thing in the morning just moments after the cleaning crew has left. Something about the mixture of sweat and the scent of axe body spray making the inside of your nose ache. He eyes the black surgical mask you're wearing.

"Why would I need anything? Maybe I just wanted to see my boyfriend who is very handsome, by the way." You bat your lashes, the flashy fake lashes fluttering. They're heavy but it's worth it for the dramatics.

Ghost raises a pale brow.

"Fine, I may be here with a proposal." You unlock your phone with one hand and pull the false lashes off with your other. You hand your phone to him, a picture pulled up on the screen, and dig into your pocket for the lash container. "You get a blowjob—I'll even negotiate swallowing—and I get a cowboy Ghost Rider figurine. Something-something, save a horse, ride a cowboy—speaking of, did you know that Russia's Catherine the Great is rumored to have died because she was fucking one of her prized stallions and the horse collapsed on her?" You carefully place the lashes into the lash container they came in and slide it back into your jacket pocket.

"Baseless rumors, I take it?"

"Well, duh; power-hungry men hate women. She died of a stroke. On one hand, girlboss, on the other hand, ew, a monarch. Glad she bit it." You level Ghost's gaze. "I will rejoice the day the British monarchy falls."

"I'll make sure to have streamers and party hats on hand." He stands then, and you extend the black towel thrown over your shoulder. His 'thank you' is clear but low and only for your ears. "You get everything done alright?"

"Yeah, as much as my non-existent security clearance let me do. Server maintenance was boring, nothing riveting which, y'know, is good. Then, I cleaned all the gunk out of Price's laptop and lectured him about clicking on random bullshit on the internet and he was like," you lower your voice to imitate Price, "'I was there when the internet was made' like okay, you living fossil. And then I didn't wanna bother you 'cause you were getting in the zone or whatever so I asked Johnny to come to the grocery store with me 'cause I wanted ice cream and I wanted to spend some time with Soap before I leave, so we went to the grocery store—"

"Breathe."

"And this mean old lady was at the store and I got the low-sugar kind of ice cream and then we came back." You take a deep breath and hold up a plastic baggie with ice cream and a few disposable spoons. "You want ice cream?"

"Did you fight an old lady again?" There is mirth to his tone, eyes crinkling at the corners. Smiling; he's smiling. The corners of your own mouth quirk up.

"Maybe. Rendezvous in John's office?"

Phrased like a question—but it isn't one. He's learned your patterns well enough, he knows when something is a request and when something is a question. You never give him time to answer a request, just state it and leave. Even now you pull away from him, muttering something to yourself as you make your exit.

Soap is the one who beats you both to Price's office. Price looks up from the papers on his desk when Soap enters, wearing the look of a man who's seen his own demise in the form of a human being. He says nothing, only visibly shudders before he collapses onto the worn leather couch in Price's office.

"I saw Jailbait verbally eviscerate an old lady."

Price laughs, actually laughs at that, laughs like he hasn't in a while. But he keeps his joy short, cutting himself off when he notices Soap's bewilderment. He's looking at Price with the utter confusion Price himself felt when he first heard you talking to a group of friends on a video call. "Still fighting with old ladies?"

"'Still'?"

"Jailbait used to babysit for this young single mother in the building. The old hag living next to her and the kid had a habit of running her mouth about everyone, but especially about those two back when she was still alive." Price winces. His chair creaks when he leans back slightly. "Jailbait never had anything nice to say about that hag. Supposedly all hell broke loose when they overheard a gossiping session. Whatever they told her seemed to get the point across. Never heard a peep again."

"She was a bitch and she deserved to know," you announce, standing in the doorway of Price's office. Ghost's tall stature looms behind you. You step in, discarding the lid of the ice cream tub in your hand into the trash. "I take a lot of pleasure in telling shitty old people to fuck off. 'Respect is earned' or whatever."

Ghost plants his weight next to Soap and you seat yourself in his lap. You hold the tub of ice cream out to him and pick up one of the spoons. The second one is passed to Soap and another to Price.

"You ate half of it," Ghost says, balaclava pulled up to his nose as he stares at the contents of the tub.

"I only ate the melting parts. Oh, and," you point your spoon towards Price, "I think she died; saw somebody moving furniture out of her apartment when I was leaving."

"I was away for five minutes." Ghost stabs his wooden spoon into the ice cream. It's soft. "Ever think she died because you were speaking in tongues?"

"Shut up, Colonizer, your Spanish has the thickest English accent I've ever heard." The tub of ice cream travels to Soap who digs his spoon in, and then to Price, still sitting at his desk. "By the way, I need Simon tonight and tomorrow morning, so there better not be some last-minute sudden mission bullshit." You spit over your left shoulder three times and Ghost frowns at the action.

"Did you spit on me?"

"No, but I can spit in your mouth if you ask nicely."

Ghost jabs his fingers into your sides and you yelp. A litany of curses escapes your lips, all of which Ghost ignores. He turns to Price, instead, pointedly ignoring the jab you try to deliver into his thigh.

"I'm seeing Jailbait off. Plane leaves at six."

"Our company that bad?" Soap jokes. He spots the slightest hint of a smile on Ghost's lips before it disappears.

"No, but the person who decided to put a base in the fuckin' desert is an ass and I need to see the sea." You level Soap with a look. "I would put you in my pocket and take you with me if I could. And Price?"

"Can't wait to hear where this is going to go."

"This better go on my CV 'cause I want to flex at my high school reunion in five years. Also, call me if they ever start building Evas 'cause one, I want to be there and two, I want to be immortalized by being one of the first people to work on it."

There's a faint 'what the fuck is an Eva' from Price. You throw your feet off Ghost's thigh and stand, stretching out the knots in your back. Ghost's knee bumps Soap's and he motions towards you with his eyes and when Soap looks at you, you're motioning for him to stand.

So, he stands, back as straight as a board. He can feel the weight of Ghost's gaze.

"MacTavish," you begin with a smile, "if I ever get to program an Eva, I'll fight tooth and nail so you could be my pilot." The curl of your lips is soft, all kind. It has his heart stuttering in his chest for a moment before he collects himself and returns your smile.

"It would be an honor."

You pause just as you're about to step forward, a small flicker of hesitation in your posture, then wrap your arms around Soap's torso. His gaze falls on Ghost, mind reeling back to the threats Ghost had made to the rookies and yet he only nods once. Soap slowly wraps his arms around your shoulders and relaxes into your hug.

"You're... pretty cool, I guess. Hangin' out was fun." It's a whisper against his chest.

"Yeah, you too." His own volume doesn't differ much from yours.

You move first, pulling away from him, and step back., turn on your heel to walk up to Price. His chair groans when he stands and pulls you into a tight hug. There are words exchanged, just like you did with Soap, too quiet to be heard by anyone but the two of you.

Soap spares a quick glance at Ghost whose gaze is pinned on you. There's a softness in his posture, slightly slouched, hunched shoulders. Like he's tired. It disappears the moment you pull away from your hug with Price and Soap spots the shaky smile you put on. There was no trace of Ghost, just Simon, Simon who is now buried again as Ghost's back straightens and he stands, tall and looming.

Ghost takes your hand in his when you leave.

He keeps you securely at his side as you make your way down the long gray hallways of the building. People walk past, minding their own business, some of them offering greetings, and Ghost's reply is always a nod of acknowledgment.

"Maybe once you get better at Spanish we can visit Alejandro and Rudy."

His announcement is sudden, voice a bit too loud and gruff to be Simon and it almost has you stumbling over your feet. You look up at him, and he's already looking down at you, an eyebrow raised.

The gaze you level him with is one he knows all too well; he can already feel the sigh of adoration-flavored exasperation in his chest.

"Wow, you have friends?"

"Pain in my ass."

And yet he still lets you sleep on top of him like a poor man's weighted blanket, head resting over his heart.

He doesn't want to wake you up.

You'd rolled off him in the middle of the night and he'd grabbed your arm to keep you from rolling off the cot entirely. He's spent the time since awake, staring at the calm rise and fall of your chest while you sleep like a corpse. (He finds himself somewhat jealous of your ability to sleep so soundly.)

Simon Riley lives in the shadows, the saturated grays of the world. He can't ever show you off to everyone who'd be willing to look, can't talk about you to anyone who would listen lest you be taken and used against him. His fingers are stained with blood and no matter how hard he scrubs he cannot get it out from underneath his fingernails.

And fuck, you deserve so much better than him; you deserve someone who'd immortalize you in their art, in poems and letters and paintings, marble statues carved in your image in museums where people from all over the world can marvel at your beauty—fall in love the same way he has.

His chest aches and his throat is tight and he tells himself the pain is in his ribs. He tells himself the pain is there because he was shot at.

He reaches out, fingers skimming along your thigh, his touch featherlight. You swat at his hand and bury your face deeper into your pillow.

"You've got a plane."

"No."

Simon grabs the back of your exposed thigh with his cold hand and you squeal. Your hand makes harsh contact with the bedframe and you swear loudly in a language Simon doesn't understand. Your voice is much lower in this language, and he's always liked this tone so much more than the one you use when you're speaking English. This one has a roughness your English lacks.

Briefly, he ponders over taking classes to learn it.

You grumble as you gather your things and follow him out to the car.

The ride to the airport is silent.

You're dozing off in the passenger seat, elbow propped against the window and cheek resting on the back of your hand. The town whizzes by outside, with very little sign of life at this hour. All the traffic lights are blinking yellow.

The car rolls to a stop at an almost empty intersection with a stop sign. A car is approaching from the right.

"I uh..." you pause, closed fist pressing against your eye as if to chase the sleep away. Your voice is still gravelly. "I got to talking about my past relationships in therapy last week. Realized I've met most of my exes at Halloween or masquerade parties—and I've always had this weird... disappointment, I guess, like, the moment they take the mask off. Even if they're objectively good-looking." You look at him. "But I don't get that with you."

Simon doesn't say anything; doesn't want to. Doesn't want to shatter the peaceful atmosphere of your confession, doesn't want to ruin it with his callous words and awkward sentence structure because every time he looks at you, his tongue feels like lead in his mouth and he forgets how to string his words together.

He just watches the car on the right cross the intersection and presses his foot down on the gas pedal.

"I always want to see you again." And you reach your hand across the console and hold it out for him. Simon takes it. His thumb traces circles against the back of your hand. Your grip tightens, three squeezes. He reciprocates the action.

The traffic lights stop blinking yellow. The roads become more lively.

Simon parks the car in the airport parking lot. He kills the engine, and it's silent again, neither of you making any effort to move, to get out and step into the brightly-lit airport.

Gently, you untangle your fingers from his, and trail up his arm, the column of his neck, the curve of his jaw. He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut. An audible exhale leaves him and you smile, the taste of it bittersweet on your tongue.

Simon leans in, his nose bumping against yours, his breath hot on your lower lip when he exhales.

His lips are chapped and his mouth is desperate and he steals the breath from your lungs. Teeth sink into your bottom lip and you whimper, the sound immediately swallowed by Simon's greed. An apology to your lip is the swipe of his warm tongue, his piercing knocking against your own tongue. He makes you dizzy, head swimming with nothing but him and his touch.

He breaks the kiss first; you have a flight to catch. Time. Time—it's always like he doesn't have enough time with you, one of you is always rushing somewhere, always away.

"Fuckin' hell, Riley," you say between deep breaths, waiting for the world to re-align on its axis. "I'm getting you a lip scrub the moment I get home."

His laugh is a low rumble and then he's kissing you again.

Too little time with you.

He takes your hand in his as you walk through the airport.

He stands a few feet away as you're checking in at the front desk, your manicured fingers tapping against the steel counter. You pull your black surgical mask down at the lady's request and flash her a quick smile, then another towards Simon who can't help but mirror you from behind his own mask.

("Airports are hotbeds for disease," you'd said, hanging him one of the surgical masks in your bag, "not lettin' someone's grandpa cough in my mouth.")

Just a little while later you're standing next to Simon, watching your neon yellow suitcase take off on the conveyer belt.

You find a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of the world. Simon wraps his arms around you, pulls you against his chest, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You swallow the lump in your throat, fingers clutching onto the back of his jacket as if you're trying to claw your way into his skin and hide in the space between his ribs.

His grip is tight, fingers digging into your flesh so hard it'll bruise. Sometimes he doesn't know his own strength, the little crescent-shaped scars on your hips a witness to his prowess. He'd looked heartbroken, hands shaking and jaw clenched tight, begging, pleading you to tell him when he's too rough.

But it's nice—his hands feel like safety.

When you part, he pulls your masks down to place another kiss onto your lips and the world tilts again. You clutch onto the lapels of his jacket to keep yourself upright.

And then you part again, for the final time, and Simon watches you disappear from sight as you turn the corner towards the departure lounge.

He lingers at the airport for nearly an hour until his phone rings.

"You make it okay?"

"God, people love to try my patience. Some lady approached me and asked if I could switch with her so she could sit with the rest of her family. So I ask which one her seat is and she goes 'oh it's in economy', I just laughed in her face. Now her husband is glaring at me. Like, fuck, buy your own business class tickets, who the fuck is gonna swap business for the ass end of economy?"

He listens, lips curling slightly when he tries to imagine you telling a middle-aged woman to fuck off.

You exhale, adding another swear under your breath, venom-laced and sharp as a knife. He can vaguely hear people talking in the background. The call stretches on, neither one of you wanting to hang up so soon.

"Simon, what do you call the wife of a hippie?"

"Copy. Behave."

"Me? Always." He can hear the grin in your voice and it eases the ache in his chest, his heart thrumming like it's a captive hummingbird desperately searching for an escape. When your voice rings out again, it's small, with a hint of an uncertain tremble. "Don't... d-word."

"Not even death itself could keep me from you."

[queenoffishingandcookies]

No thoughts, just fem Battler at the moment.

Battler was born in 1968. It is currently 1986, and out of every family she could have been born to - it’s to the Ushiromiya Family, for all that she would be a generation removed from the worst of it (Kinzo), and then spend six years out of all the family drama with her maternal grandparents.

Not even taking into account the society she lives in:

The Ushiromiya Family has extremely strict standards that confirm to gender roles. In other words, extreme gender discrimination -> women are lesser than men, looking through the eyes of the elder generations that came before:

We think Kinzo is bad (and he is), from his extreme misogyny - but he had to have learnt that from somewhere. By somewhere, I mean his family. Maybe his parents, or grandparents, or the family elders once they got their hands on him).

We see it depicted most blatantly in Banquet, through Eva’s memory of speaking with Krauss about College (and Kinzo’s subsequent rage and threats of disinheriting her).

Paraphrasing both Krauss and Kinzo:

A woman’s job is solely to support the men in her life. There is nothing else but for a woman to be the support of a man -> that is their sole purpose. For a woman to pursue higher education, work in a man’s field - sciences, literature - is to be extremely conceited. She is selfish, unwomanlike.

In return, the duty of men was to provide for the needs of women. A women is to obey her parents (father) in her early life, later on, her spouse, and later still, her sons.

(In Battler’s case, she’s already been hit with strike one).

A woman is to be humble, gentle, and understanding of her spouse - to have a firm grasp on housekeeping, on more ladylike pursuits such as sewing, needlepoint, and so on. A good education in literature and so on is favorable, but they should aim no higher than their station as a woman.

She is to find a good husband who can build connections with and for her father, and carry and raise that man’s children so that someday, they too can build connections of their own for their father.

And then we have Battler, years down the line.

Battler, who is unapologetically herself and arguably not the traditional young lady. She no doubt dresses like one, especially when she is younger her mother picks out her clothes, beautiful dresses and cute skirts - but ‘ladylike’ clothes isn’t the only thing that makes a woman, at least in the eyes of society.

She is loud and brash when a young woman should be demure, as ready to kick a ball through the mud and wrestle in the dirty as any other boy on the playground. She’ll read bloody murder mystery books beyond her grade level and enjoy a variety of manga and western superhero comics just as much as any boy sitting next to her.

Battler’s a girl who won’t hesitate to punch a boy if she gets told that she can’t do something because she’s a girl, that boys won’t like her because she acts like a boy. Alternatively, that it makes her different from other girls to enjoy things meant for boys, that she’s one of them and someone to confide in and make crude jokes with - and hell, Battler might even find some of them funny.

She doesn’t act exceptionally ladylike in public, though she is polite, and gives absolutely zero fucks about it (an icon, basically).

Which would get her (really, Rudolf, from Eva especially) a lot of shit at the Ushiromiya Family Conference. Not to mention how that alters dynamics with Jessica, with George.

There’s so much different with the scenario of fem Battler, and yet Battler herself is still, Battler. Like, I want to chew on the concept of the misogyny and then homophobia regarding GB Umineko characters.

There’s so much to chew on here.

Appearance wise, Battler is…Battler. Still.

I already mentioned above and went on a whole tangent about his wardrobe how I don’t think a change in gender would effect it that much. Because I don’t think it would.

It’s not like changing Battler’s gender would change who they are as a person -> just their experiences, and how they got there.

She would still wear jeans and her bomber jackets as she pleased. If anything, she’d have more of a selection to chose from between skirts and blouses and dresses.

She knows how to wear dresses, makeup, even if she doesn’t always choose to - and when she dresses up, like for a fancy party, she goes from a chill zero to an atomic 100.

Jaws will drop and hearts will stop.

It’s like you think you’ve been staring at the radiance of the sun with your naked eye this whole time, and then suddenly realize you’ve been wearing sunglasses. Then, when they’re ripped off, you’ve discovered an entirely new spectrum of light and it’s burning itself so deeply into your retina that you’ll go blind, and then forever after be left with the afterimage of that dazzling glory.

That’s Battler.

And she can still kick your ass in heels. Possibly even more so, because heels are dangerous. Literally spikes that you walk on.

Battler just strolls in, owns the room (possibly kills a few people unintentionally while she’s at it), and minds her own business.

I’m kind of on the wire if Battler, similar to Jessica, would be concerned about romantic interests not finding appeal in her because of her masculine behavior… OR just not caring, because if they don’t like her because of who she is, they aren’t worth it.

It could go either way for Battler, really. Canonwise, he is just - a soft, squishy boy who loves the people he cares about so much that it burns him up inside sometimes. Even if he denies it at times. (Rudolf.) It’s why Beatrice was able to trample him in Turn of the Golden Witch.

Beatrice isn’t going to know what hits her (literally, if we’re looking at Banquet. That scene, just…that scene). You’ve got a near six foot tall, gorgeous young woman with crimson hair coming your way.

(Unfortunately, Battler won’t expect the cackling witch coming her way, either. Beatrice is such a Character, and I love her. Just - Beato and Battler. These two are just a give-and-take, and they are neck-in-neck in my eyes for just being…outside the standards of normal. Battler is going to unconsciously pine so hard for this lady).

R.I.P.

The internalized homophobia this girl (Battler) would have (and subsequently slowly crush beneath her heel in and over the course of a few episodes for her wife)….

The limit does not exist. Battler is having gay panic for a few episodes on the down low.

On the other hand of Fem Battler and Beatrice ->

Masc Beabato.

Two men, five feet apart over a chess game (murder mystery), so very gay for each other with one of them in denial.

Hint: It wouldn’t be Beato.

Battler’s gay panic would be vicious. It is living, breathing, thriving form of pining made into a mobile creature with claws and teeth to gouge a space in his chest for Beato to sit, for all that he tries to build an iron gate to keep him out.

Beato, being dangerously Beato, would not help matters. At all. In the slightest. The entire goal of the game board is to get Battler to see and understand his heart -> and Beato is a witch (sorcerer in this case). He doesn’t have to conform to homophobia (though he’d still feel it, because trauma doesn’t just leave), he doesn’t have to care about ‘human’ ideals of men loving men being wrong - so he can slyly flirt and make subtle advances towards Battler.

Battler, being Battler, would probably assume it’s a trick - and it isn’t, but he wouldn’t know that at the time.

(And man, now that makes me think of Genderbent cousins, but only the cousins - George, Battler, Jessie, Maria, Ange - are Genderbent. Male! Jessica and Kanon, Shannon and Fem! George. The potential of Beato handing them the golden butterfly for magical blessing takes on brand new meaning-)

I wish I could go into this super deep exposition on the dynamics of masc Beabato, but I’m honestly not super good at understanding Beato’s character - and I want to do Beato right, now matter how she is portrayed in various AU’s in my head. She is more feeling, that rational thought behind what leads to that feeling for me, if that makes sense?

But these two. Just. THESE TWO.

[eldritch-spouse]

I hope you see the Pin, cause I'm invested.

If we were trapped in lust, how about we become an Oiran to survive? 

Quasi Oiran, so to speak, since I wouldn't be on Oiran traditionally but moreso in spirit. 

Now a few things to note about Oirans (the Apothecary Diaries did a very good job at explaining this, so I'll use that): Unlike regular Yujyos (prostitutes) who need to find a customer every night, the best of them rarely ever take clients. The less an Oiran (a high-ranking yujyo) works, the higher her perceived value will be. All Yujyo are taught a bit about poetry and dancing at a young age; those without potential are immediately put to night service work after their debut, while those with potential continue with their education, spending their time with customers merely drinking tea. As their conventional skills and wisdom increase, so does their price, and they will accept requests even more rarely. Eventually, it comes to a cost a year's worth of salary to just share nothing but a cup of tea with such an Orian. Among them are even a few who would never come to know a customer's touch up until the day they are bought. They're priced so highly because they're an untouchable flower; once plucked, they lose half their value.

Some stuff would probably need to be tweaked in order for this to work, but here is a route I think could be taken.

So you land in lust! (Preferably as a virgin cause that can be used later.) Like a rational person, you start hauling ass as soon as you can gather yourself cause you don't want to be snu-snu-ed to death. Hopefully you can stumble across a nice enough high-ranker who would be willing to help you out—for a price, of course. Now, this could depend on the high-ranker because if they don't immediately take our virginity, we could sell it for a high price because in the Pinnie universe, a human's virginity is like ambrosia, but I don't really see that happening since who would pass up the opportunity, you know? But anyway, in return for their protection, we could make a deal to bring in three times the amount they bring in a year. There are many human fuckers to pick and choose from, so it wouldn't be too hard to get the bag. Before we make our debut, we should train in the arts like Yujyo do. We could use dance or singing for normal customers, and for customers with a taste for finer things, we could use poetry, calligraphy (you see what I did there 😏) and aktpainting, which is the painting of nude people. But of course I'll have sex with my customers so they keep coming back, I'll just try to engage with them in thay way sparingly so that they can become addicted. After we make our debut, hopefully we can make enough money to hire some wrath demon bodyguards, and then we can truly make our way up the ranks to become an Oiran because we may have our pimp, but I don't think they can hold our hand and protect us all the time. If a customer is being too pushy, we can just call in our guards to have their ass booted 🤷🏽‍♀️. It's very likely that our guards and pimp will become obsessed with us but if we were smart enough to make it thus far it will be no trouble to play demon wrangler. And if by a slim pubic hair of a chance we can get an angel to keep all of them in check, we would be set for life.

So that's it!

The reason I think it would be a good idea to become an Oiran is because, let's be honest, in lust where it's all about fucking, we wouldn't be too popular to make someone believe we're trying to out-whore them but popular enough to get that sweet, sweet money. Another reason why I thought it could work is because Concubi place an importance on virginity. I'm not sure if it applies to how many times you slept with someone, but by being a 'flower' and a human at the same time it could attract a lot of customers, so why not use it?

(I hope all of this made sense since I'm not a native speaker)

[It sort of made sense. I don't know much about the nuance of these cultures, so I'm not going to dip into that side too much.]

Making it in Lust is hard, especially as a virgin. Even if someone with a modicum of power takes enough pity on you to offer you a leg up, there's always the risk of it going downhill. It depends on your luck, cleverness and, oftentimes, ruthlessness.

Someone similar to an oiran, in Lust, would have a difficult time.

Even if there are many concubi (and other types of fiends/non-demonic inhabitants) who get into the mysticism and attributed rarity of a female companion like that, getting off endlessly on that temptation to leap across the table while the two of you have a conversation over tea... There are also many crowds eager to debase and "corrupt" you, to turn you into a senseless whore like themselves.

You're never truly safe either way. Some of your regulars may become eerily attached and possessive of you, maybe even threatening to toss you out to the demons who give you leery stares as you walk because you refuse to see them more often or to touch them.

Keep in mind that blueballing a concubus isn't really a good idea, unless they make it clear they're into that. Because otherwise, you're holding a steak to a lion's mouth and constantly yanking it away before they can snag it. Eventually, they'll get tired and bite some of your fingers off along with it.

Your life in Lust will be one led with extreme caution.