#i wont hold myself 2 that though

[almostshere]

» WILLIAM BECKETT participating in the ALS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE.

[princekirijo]

Are there any interests of your mutuals that you're kind of tempted to check out because of how much they post about them??

Honestly yeah there's a few! I'm kinda having a brain fog rn so the only one I can think of is Sonic. One of my mutuals posts about it a lot and I really enjoy the content! I've only ever watched the Sonic Boom show and I've played the first two levels of Sonic Adventure 2 (same mutual's recommendation). The show is hilarious and I did really enjoy the game! I think I stopped because it was in the middle of university but once I've cleared my gaming backlog I'd love to play it again because it's really fun.

[nomaishuttle]

literally the pet rooms at work are the evillest not bc the pets are bsd at ALL theyve all been either well behaved or very timid and avoidant so its not like they get in the way. theyre bad bc my heart wants to just pet the kittys forever

[evie-sturns]

Truth or Dare - Matt Sturniolo

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summary: an innocent game of truth or dare results in you losing your virginity to matt.

warnings: NSFW, swearing.

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"mattt.." i groan as my head rests on his lap. "you alright baby?" matt says quietly as he puts down his phone.

me and matt have been together for about 2 months, but we've never done anything sexually, ive never done anything sexually. im a total virgin and matt doesnt know.

"we should do something" i say sitting up on the couch and readjusting my ponytail. "like what?" matt says softly as he stands up "likee... truth or dare?" i say giggling and matt smiles at me "what are we, in 6th grade" matt says with a small laugh.

i stand up and drag matt to the bedroom, shutting the door behind us. matt sits down on the bed and i instantly crawl onto his lap, straddling him. "okay hmf, truth or dare?" i ask smiling and matt grins at me "truth? i dont know." he replies awkwardly "have you ever done anything illegal?" i say smirking and he doesn't reply. "matt..." i say dragging out the 'a' trying to hold back another laugh.

after a few rounds, matt starts to shift uncomfortably under me. i reposition myself on his lap and he groans "are you okay? am i too heavy sorry.." i say awkwardly "no- no..you just might need to get off" matt mumbles as i see his cheeks flush.

i realise whats happening, matts bulge is poking my ass. as soon i realise i jump off him and cover my face out of embarrassment. my grabs my wrists and pulls my hands off my eyes. my cheeks go a deep red and he smiles at me, i see his eyes flick down to my lips and i smash my lips into his. he grabs my waist and pulls me back onto his lap. he breaks for a second and grabs the hem of my shirt. "ca-can i?" matt asks and i dont fully understand what he means, but i agree to it. he pulls my shirt over my head, revealing my pink lacy bra. my eyes widen but i ignore it.

is this really happening? am i even ready? am i about to loose my virginity?

i go along with it, ill be fine. he unclasps my bra and his cheeks and the tips of his ears go pink. he is the first man to ever see my chest. he flips us over so im on my back, he looks down at me and puls down my shorts slowly, revealing my matching panties. "fuck your so perfect." matt grumbles. hes fully clothed but im only wearing my panties, its somewhat humiliating. he quickly pulls down his sweatpants and his dick springs out onto his stomach, its big. jesus christ its big.

he pulls my panties off and rubs his tip against my clit. he teases my entrance and my breathing becomes more frantic, why am i so scared? i feel a few tears roll down my cheek and matt gasps looking at me, insantly pulling away from me and yanking up his sweatpants. "hey, hey, are you okay?" he says shakily grabbing my cheek "sorry." i sniffle as i wipe my eyes. matt sits down on the bed and i sit up, he maintains a distance "dont cry, im so sorry can you talk to me please, whats going on sweetheart" he says gently and fidgets with his rings. i shuffle over and sit on his lap. his breath hitches in his throat as my naked body leans against him, but he plays it off as a cough. "just promise you wont judge me okay?" i say breaking the silence and he stambles "i would never judge you sweetheart." he says soothingly

"i know i havent told you but im a.. uh.. virgin." i whisper out and he nods understandingly "but i thought i was ready.. its not your fault i- i just uh. when you took your pants off it was.." i say quietly as i wipe my eyes "its big.. your dick is really big." i say with an embarrassed giggle. he just smiles at me "im sorry for taking it fast, i would've gone slow if i knew, your just so pretty i assumed youd done it." he says comforting me and rubbing my thighs "i wanna do it still though." i say quietly and he nods "o-okay!!" he says trying to hold back his excitement "do you wanna ask me questions before we start" he asks "well i did wanna know uhm, how many people have you fucked." i say softly "3 people, yeah uh.. three." he says i let out a sigh of relief "so your good at it??" i reply instantly and matt laughs rubbing his eyes "i guess?" he says embarrased and i get off his lap.

"can you talk me through it?" i ask laying back on the bed "yeah, okay sure!" he says positioning himself between my legs "im gonna have to stretch you out a little first okay? i dont want it to hurt." he says and i nod "just my middle finger, have you ever done this to yourself?" i shake my head "no.." and he just nods "okay thats fine!" he says "just relax okay." he says pushing his long middle finger all the way into me "your doing so good." he growls quietly thrusting it slowly in and out. "i'm gonna add another finger, and your gonna take it really well." he says pushing another finger into me.

this is a really new sensation, but it feels really good. it kind of burns though.

after a few minutes of him spreading his fingers apart inside of me he pulls both of his fingers out and i whine "baby your gonna get my cock, be patient." he says sternly and i nod quickly. he positions his tip at my entrance and i moan softly "such pretty noises." he mumbles as he pushes his tip just inside of me and pulls it back out, then pushes it in again. "so fucking tight oh my god." he whimpers as he pushes slightly more into me "im just gonna give you half okay?" he says sliding further into me and i let out a long moan. "its okay baby, hold my hand" he says reaching his hand out and gripping my sweaty palm.

"your only taking half, do you think you can take the rest of it?" he whispers in my ear "yeah- yes matt.." i say nervously and he slides all the way in, his tip kissing my cervix "so good for me baby." he says resting inside of me "so so perfect." he groans as he slides all the way out to his tip, then pushes all the way inside me again. "fuck.." he whimpers as he starts to thrust in and out faster "matt oh my god." i moan as he presses on my lower stomach with his free hand, so he can feel how deep he is inside of me. the stomach bulge is clear and its driving matt crazy. "your clenching baby, cum for me." he whispers "i- i dont know how to!!" i say loudly and he shushes me "yes you do, i know you can." he stays calm and i let out a loud moan before orgasming all over his length "goodd... fuck oh my fuck.. so good baby so so perfect." he whispers words of affirmation in my ears before abrubtly pulling out and cumming all over my tits "fuck fuck fuck.." he says quickly as he strokes his dick a few final times before collapsing next to me and grabbing my waist to pull me into a tight hug on the bed. "you did so well. so so well." he says in between heavy pants as my legs just shake.

"your legs are shaking, you sure your okay?"

"i-i just..." i can barely string together a sentence as my hole aches.

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yall BETTER send me requests in my inbox PLEASE!!

[solar4seekstron]

(Requested) TFOne!Sentinel x Model!GN!Cogged!Cybertronian!Reader Oneshot: I Wasn’t Offering Part 1

Part 2

TW/Tags: possessiveness, forced relationship, trapped, cogged!reader, scary Sentinel.

You were a model. Performing for many higher ups and showing off new paint jobs and polish. Posing for the media and data pad magazines.

This was something you did in order to make enough to get more energon and treats for the miners who work tirelessly for the city. Always bringing them plenty of energon and treats that they worked for.

You were good pals and on good terms mostly with the miners Elita, Orion, and D-16, who you saw every day after a day of work. One day.

On a very special night you were modeling for a live singers even of Iacon and were to pose as one of the primes. You being Prima. After the show you were still covered in gold Cybertronian jewelry and the paint of gold and white on your frame.

As well as the face make up.

You honestly loved the look. You wont lie. As you made it to your dressing room with a few others. You manager was the one to tell you you had a special visitor. And so as you made your way.

You realized you were headed to a room for VIPs who speak to the singers and dancers.

A place to hang out. You though the singer wanted to speak with you or something.

But as you made your way too the room and opened the door. You saw that it was just Sentinel there. He was laid back against the sofa as the room played soft music.

His arms placed on the top of the sofa as his cervos hang. His legs spread as he sat there without a care. At this point you had the make up of but the jewelery was still on. The singer letting you and the other models keep them as a gift.

You walked in as he then noticed you. Not sitting up but his usual smile to the city soon appearing. “Ah Y/N! The Model of Iacon! Glad to finally meet you sweetspark.”

You chuckled a bit at his words once he said “sweetspark”.

You’d stand there putting your cervos behind your back as you looked at him. “Is there something you needed Sentinel Prime?” Your voice was soft.

”Ah just Sentinel is fine babe. Now why don’t you take a seat.” He gestured to the seat next to him. But you pretended to not notice. Turning your head soon and sitting in the sofa across from him. He lost his smile for a moment and his eyes narrowed.

But it wasn’t like that before he went back to smiling. He’d then stand up and walk over to you. “You know I’ve always enjoyed your work as a model. Seeing that you’re always so well fit and such.” He chuckled.

You did the same. Flattered by his compliments as your cervos rest on your lap, as he stands before you. His cervo then gently holds your chin. “That jewelry is a cheap…..”

His helm then leaned down closer to yours as he examined them then look back at you optics to optics.

”Let me get you better ones.” You only stared at him. Uncertainty in your optics as the cervo once holding your chin then moved to the neck less laying against your chest. Gently rubbing it between his digits. “Tell me.”

His voice was low as he spoke. The same cervo moving down before holding your waist.

”How would you like to be more in the city of Iacon.”

His cervo gently pulls you a bit closer to your frame. “And be seen by my side.”

He whispered into your audio sensors. You froze for a moment. You had many other higher up femmes and mechs. Bigger and smaller then you give you the offer but that wouldn’t always land long and would go to the next hot topic in the city.

You gently set your cervos against his chest. He looked a bit confused for a moment before you spoke.

“Sorry..Sentinel. But.” You stood up creating some distance between you two. As you spoke.

”I made a promise to myself when gaining my ‘populatiry’ I would only do it to help those who want to do better on my people and the miners who work hard for us everyday. And I wont just ‘join’ anyone who just wishes to use me for status and looks like some eye candy.”

As you spoke his optics were narrow and he only sighed and took a step. He then let out a deep chuckle. “Goodness no my dear. I have no intentions of keeping you only for a few days or anything….”

His frame almost touches yours. His optics narrowed as you stared up at him.

”When I say I’ve been watching you…I mean.” Both of his cervos gently grab your waist keeping you still. “I want a model of Iacon to be…mine.” He said in an almost sinister way.

“I have seen you. Been watching you. Always taking care of my miners everyday after you work. And not to mention how hard you try to stay the way you look. I’ll admit I have a crush on you. And so.”

He then sat down pulling you onto his lap. Only sitting on one of his thighs as he then picks up an energon drink that was on the table. Your cervos on his shoulder and chest as he took a sip of his drink. Then looked back at you. “Why don’t you be a good bot and accept my offer hm?

You can live like a true ruler on my side. And continue to help your mining friends…”

You stay quiet for a moment before speaking. “And if I refuse?”

He said in a low voice once more. You only looked at him unsure. He can tell and brought your leg up moving it around his waist as he stared at you. Now fully on his lap as his cervos remain on your aft. Your cervos still in place.

”I’m afraid what I said wasn’t a request.” He said in a threatening way. His cervos grip tightens as he rests a kiss on your chest after leaning forward.

You were frozen.

Even as you lightly push against his shoulder and chest it get up. His grip only got more tighter and tighter. “I wouldn’t try it. You see sweetsaprk when I want something I expect it to be mine in less then a second. So….be a good bot….will you?” His optics looking up at you. Almost narrowed.

You knew he was threatening up. In his own way. You could only stare down at him. Did you really have a choice now? You were…shaking..Just by the look of his optics you know he’s mad.

”Shh shh shh sweetspark no need to be scared..” One of his cervos move from your aft to the tip on your thigh. Gently squeezing.

”You just have to say yes…and…Non of your mining friends have to get hurt….” You two stay still for a moment. You looked down thinking. Your cervos moving to your own lap as you grow unsure. Against your better judgment….You agreed…

The image of those miners like Elita, D, and Orion coming to mind. You’d slowly nod. Still looking down.

”Look at me.” He spoke. And so you looked at him. Your optics sad and his cervos don’t move. His optics narrow still. “Now my partner isnt sad…You always have a smile when you’re with me and….by my side.”

He places another kiss on your shoulder and the side of your neck a few times. “Now be good for me and open that chest plate of yours..”

You held in your tears. How did things move so fast for you? Slowly your chest plate opened showing your spark. He’d then open his. His cervo once on your thigh moving to your upper back. gently pressing your chest against his. You then felt a rush. Your spark connecting with his.

He’d then press his dermas against yours. The kiss was hungry and yeet still full of….love?…. You didn’t return the kiss. But he didn’t seem to care.

The kiss continued. All you can hear is the soft music and the kisses he exchanged against your dermas. Keeping your frame against his as he continued. The spark bond was completed and he leaned back with a sigh. Glad to finally have what he’s been craving for so long.

He’d then resume, kissing your neck and chest. Ignoring the jewelry as his cervos explore your frame. Your own on his shoulders. Trying to not let out a few soft moans as he assaults your frame.

He’d then pause looking at you with his optics full of lust.

“Such a good Conjunx. You're going to make everyone…and Me very, very…Happy.”

This one I was pretty excited to write about and I swear all I can hear his voice in my head when write him lmao. The writer I wasn’t fully sure what to do with at first ‘cause I don’t know if models even exist in Cybertron. But hey I hope you all enjoy non the less and hope you all have a good rest of your day.

As always, a repost is appreciated.

[starillusion13]

Lost you forever pt.2

READ THE PART 1 ----> HERE!

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature, Fluff

Warnings: crying, forgiveness, trust and hurt, regrets, self doubts, comfort, heartbreak, anxiety and new beginnings.

W.C: 4.6k (I swear you wont cry again)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. This is a requested fic, initially I had no plans on making this but still some of you literally begged for it so here it is. Enjoy!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“Bye, have a nice day.”

Waving at your co-workers before leaving the workplace early, you make your way towards the nearby flower shop. Well, it’s really weird to go to buy flowers with an early break. No, it’s not for you but maybe for others. Glancing to every shop to your sides, walking through the footpath, you find different new things on display and finding some very cute and beautiful. You made a note to buy some of those later someday and keeping in mind to not miss out the flower shop for now. Arriving to the shop, a tug felt in your heart, something is aching in the corner, something is calling out for you, a missing piece of your life.

“How can I help you miss?”

You realised that unconsciously you have entered the glass doors and standing in front of the bouquet section. How precious they look when decorated so nicely! All the beautiful flowers arranged in a desired sequence with a touch of greenery with some leaves peeking out among the spaces. Each flower representing different purposes and each colour describing specific moods. And what should be appropriate for you?

“I want orchids.”

The florist smiles at you but before picking up the first flower, she turns towards you with a soft look on her face as if trying to decide on something.

“What colour do you prefer? I guess it must be red.”

“Pink.”

She pauses and blinks at you, “Aren’t you going to give it to your loved ones?”

“No…These are for myself. For me.”

Is it?

Do you have any loved ones though?

She nods her head while picking up the fresh ones from the baskets and delicately placing them on the wooden counter. Why should you take red colour when you don’t have that love, affection and beauty in your life? That’s why you opted for Pink. A colour that is stuck between the bright affection of red that’s burning for the beauty of love and the white silence filled with desires for a new hope in your life which is innocently waiting for a blooming change.

And the flowers orchid and lily with this colour is the perfect ones to resemble you.

To resemble your life.

In the days of missing them.

“Here, this is your flowers and it’s your total.”

Taking the bouquet in your hold, you send a small smile towards her and after paying, you leave the shop. While walking to your next location, you found a little note attached to the back of the bouquet and you quickly open it to read.

‘I know you are missing someone and that’s why I have put a stargazer lily in the middle, it’s red in colour. You may have missed it earlier but believe in yourself, everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer. A miracle should occur to you soon.’

Are you really missing someone? Maybe. Is there someone thinking about you too? You stare at the flower for a little longer before looking around to find the surrounding a bit too familiar, the beach where you come a lot and past memories flashes to you.

Memories of Them.

Wiping off the tears, you turn towards the direction of the café. The past few weeks were okay. Just like okay. You didn’t have anything special or extraordinary. Your café owner came back to the town and you shared everything possible to her of what happened in these past one month because you were feeling down. Even though she soothes you to take everything normally, there is something tingling in your heart, as if something is not smooth the way its visible.

“look, here you are zoning out again.”

You got startle with the voice from your side. Here, you are sitting with your favourite pastry and breads but you haven’t taken a bite instead just sucking the spoon like a child, eyes lost in your daydreaming. After you met them that day, you just can’t keep your mind off from thinking about them.

 What are they doing right now? Did they give up on you? Why does it matter to you? Are you thinking to go back to them? Maybe…

“No. I’m not.”

“Sure. So, have you thought about taking off for few days. Don’t worry I’m not kicking you out of the work, you are like my daughter and I want you to enjoy your young life.”

“Yeah I know, but I’m not sure if I want to go though.”

“of course, you will go. you will be having the time of your life so have a fresh mind and just go, have some fun but where are you going anyways?”

She rests her hands on her waist and wiggles her brows at you. You whine and glance out the glass wide windows, everybody is busy with their daily life and the time of noon is giving the café some free time to let you have some time for yourself. Her gaze falls on the flowers beside you, she smiles to herself before patting your head. You look up at her warm and welcoming look, “maybe I will go to the beach today. There’s a lot of thoughts on my mind.”

She nods and urges you to eat.

“who gave you these flowers?”

You frown and as you look towards the soft petals, you remember the note attached to it.

everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer.

“No one. I bought them earlier when I went out.”

She again nods and glances at the clock, the lunch break is over and soon the customers will start filling up the silent atmosphere. Before leaving you alone to finish your food, she made sure that you don’t start working again today or she will scold you in front of others. She is really treating you like a baby.

Maybe, you are still a baby.

They always pampered you like a baby.

You shook your head about their thoughts and proceed to eat.

.

.

.

The fresh winds hitting your face, closed eyes and a tiny smile resting on your face but still a tear line visible. The sun giving the warmth under the cold winter afternoon but still you need more.

A comforting warmth.

You place the flowers and bag by your side and spread your legs over the mat.

Eight flowers in total and the stargazer in middle.

There are not many people around you and few couples walking by the shore. A child not more than five years old is running after a ball stopped in front of you. She smiles at you and to your oblivion, a smile appears on your face.

“you are pretty.”

Before you could have replied her, she runs after the ball and laughing loudly.

“Why do you guys have to show yourself again?” you wipe the tears and continue, “I was okay without you…it was better to be alone.” You stare at the glistening waters of the sea, waves wiping off the shore like the wind, blowing away the sadness and surrounding you with a comforting blanket of air.

Suddenly, arms wrap around you, flinching to the sudden action but a whisper choked in emotion makes you stop before you could push away the arms, “y/n……I’m sorry.”

You press your lips tight, preventing any emotion to escape you. He still remembers you.

They remember you.

They didn’t give up.

“Woo…” your eyes close to feel him against your back, breath hitting your neck, goosebumps appearing on your exposed skin, pad of your thumb caress the smooth skin of his palms over your chest. Feeling his arms loosening around you, your fingers grip tighter on him, “please…don’t give up on me.”

“I will never give up on you.” His voice is almost like a whisper, hiding behind the desire to hear your voice again, his heart aching with different emotions. The emotions which are flooding inside him but he is still unaware of the actual feelings for the current situation.

Ears perk upon the sound of some shuffling around you, palms cupping your cheeks and caressing the dried teary cheeks, “don’t tell me to go away again.” Your eyes flutter open to look at the eyes in front of you, those innocent yet merciless ones which are brimmed with tears for you, “I can’t afford to lose you…again.”

“Jongho…why are you here?”

“we all are here, y/n…for you. I’m sorry, please give me one more chance.” His tears are slowly slipping down, your eyes followed it and slowly, you wipe the tears, “please don’t make me feel guilty that I am the cause for someone’s sadness.”

Wooyoung’s grip around you tightens with your words and you can feel many more presence around you, your inner voice fighting the urge to glance towards their direction. Facing the two youngest is easy for you and they were the ones who didn’t blame you like others but still they said enough to add the fuel to the fire. But the others, they blamed you, accused you, hurt you…do they even trust you?

“you can’t hurt me ever, y/n. just don’t leave me.” Jongho said and shifted forward but is still cautious with your comfort. You nod and he sit closer to you. Twisting your body a bit, you find the others standing close to you three but as soon as they caught you staring at them, they avert their eyes, not because they don’t want to look at you.

Because they can’t make a simple eye-contact with you. They are filled with guilt.

But one is still trying his hard not to take his eyes off to somewhere else, they are focused on you between Wooyoung’s arm. Hongjoong’s eyes are red and his tears still flowing down continuously. You have last seen them two months ago and after that, it’s been worst for you. You have cried every night because you wanted to run back to them, to hear their voices but you were sure that they have given up on you.

A tear-drop falls from your eyes while watching the leader.

“do you guys still don’t believe me?” even though you are staring at him, the question is directed to everyone. Your broken voice tugs at their heart, their love for you is killing them inside that how could they even blamed you.

“y/n…” the leader says your name, tasting the name to make himself believe that he is calling you and you are in front of him not like other times when he is thrashing around everything and screaming your name, killing people out of nowhere just in a hope to see you. He couldn’t bear to see the hatred in your eyes that day. He tortured himself everyday that he blamed his precious person, he hurt his only love for something that she never meant in any other way other than saving her family, even sacrificing herself. “I believe you…I’m sorry that I broke the trust. I am the one to be blamed.”

Removing the arms from around you, Wooyoung thought that you are pushing him away from you but you just shifted in your place to face the others properly. He still remains in the same position, close to you. The warm breeze blowing, tugging your locks behind your ears, you gesture them to come close. Few hesitate but the leader and Mingi are quick to kneel in front of you. Nobody around you would believe that they are the notorious mafia gang of the city but in this different country, they are like some teenage boys asking for forgiveness.

All having the same hurt look on their faces, their heart is aching with the feel that you are so near to them, they can feel your skin, your breath, your heartbeat but still…the emotions keeping them apart from each other. They always knew that you are very different from this mafia world, too innocent for this cruel life but still you gladly accepted them in your life, you made them part of your life, you became their sunshine in the cold darkness but they didn’t know how to protect the sunshine with the darkness all around.

“If I ask you, why do you guys deserve forgiveness? What will you say?”

They look towards each other, questioning the same question to themselves. Do they really deserve you after all that? You precisely looked at each one of them, waiting for a reply. That day you let everything out of you without even giving them a chance to speak anything. Once, they didn’t let you say anything and next time, you didn’t let them say anything. Huh! You all are same.

“you can’t reply.”

They frown at you but you nod. “you all still don’t know why you are here. For me? but for what?” you shake your head and sigh, “you want me to forgive you all. To go back to you and forget everything but have you thought one thing. Why the first thing that came to your mind was that I betrayed you?”

The question pierced their heart, reminding them how badly they hurt you that evening in the party. They want to delete that part forever but the more they try to forget it, the more its imprinting in their memory.

“Hongjoong…I know, you know this answer.” You nod at him, when he gulps and nod his head, the others are already expecting the known answer from him.

“because he was my dad.”

A small smile appears on your face. You are satisfied with the expected answer, your finger curl above your thigh.

“yes. You trusted him because he was your dad. If I were in your place, I would have done the same. You did what you should, Joong.”

Hongjoong’s eyes become big. He is shocked hearing you.

They are surprised with your sudden smile, and hearing you are appreciating him for what he has done.

“y/n?” Mingi has a visible frown on his face to which you chuckle.

“what? It proved me that he is capable of trusting his beloved ones even after they betrayed him. he was just being a child who stood against me for his father. But…” you wipe your tears and Wooyoung hugs your side, you pat his hand with a sad smile. He really misses you. He is the most clingiest one among them, even if you hurt this boy to the end, he will still hold your hand and look at you with the eyes of admiration. “but…I was hurt that you all didn’t mean to hear me for once.”

Mingi grabs your hand above your thigh and squeezes it, “I’m sorry, y/n. we really regret that we blamed you without hearing you. We didn’t let you explain. It was a big mission for us, we were so mad at everything and we didn’t think properly and in the end, we hurt you.”

“regret? Mingi…regret is a big thing. If I still go away today without forgiving any of you. Who will regret?” you lick your lips. Jongho shifted to your side, “please…don’t go away.”

“we both will regret. You will regret and blame yourself for hurting me and feel that you are the reason I am gone. Also, I will regret too because even when I got the chance to talk out everything, I still chose to hold my ego and distanced myself from you. I really cant stay without you.” You are completely crying at this point. Tears can’t be held back and Mingi quickly engulfs you in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “y/n…I can’t stay without you too.”

His hands are shaking, maybe soon you will push him away like that day but you didn’t, instead you clutch his shirt and cried in his embrace. Jongho is patting your head with a sad smile on his face. He is glad that you still love them, hearing that your heart aches for them makes his heart warm with the love for you and he even blamed himself more for that day.

Retreating slowly from the hug, Wooyoung wipes your tears and smiles at you. You avert your gaze towards Yeosang who is always quiet with his feelings, you know he always wants to tell a lot but he keeps it to himself, fearing to mess up anything.

But when you send a smile towards him, he stared at you like a child and smiles back.

“do you hate me because I slapped you that day?”

He shakes his head, “no. I deserved it.”

You chuckle, “should I slap you again?” your joke makes him laugh a little. This is the first time he is laughing in these three years. He, literally all of them were emotionless and ruthless after they found you nowhere. Jungwoo really kept you hidden in another country, far away from them. Had it not been their mission there, they wouldn’t have met you again. Maybe, the fate has again brought you all together.

Seonghwa cups your face, eyes scanning everywhere until your hand grips his wrist with the assurance that he doesn’t need to worry. Still, he is hurt, “how are you, y/n?”

“Seonghwa, how are you? And how should I be?” he looks down but you make him look up, “look at me and tell me. I am not shouting today. I am patiently hearing you all. We should have done this long before but we both were scared. You were scared of your anger because you thought I betrayed you all and I was scared of you.”

You were scared of them.

They wont ever get this feeling off their heart that they made you feel scared of them.

“I was scared how Hongjoong was fuming in anger and accusing me in front of all the guests. I was scared of Mingi looking at me like I broke all of his trusts. I was scared of you how you were blaming me for everything and treating me like an enemy, my head was spinning. I couldn’t understand anything. I wanted to say so much but Yeosang shouted on me and threatened me. and…” lastly, you look at the two who has kept their distance from you, they still can’t forgive themselves. They did worse out all of them. “Yunho…tried to slap me, he wanted me out of his sight…maybe dead.”

“y/n, trust me I’ll never want you dead. I will kill myself before doing something to you and for which I will be responsible for my brothers’ regrets.”

“and your regret?”

“I wont keep myself alive to feel the regret.” You stare at him until you look towards the last person.

“but you killed a part of me when you held the gun to my head, San.”

His lips trembles hearing you, he knew what he did was beyond the forgiveness. He himself can’t even think of how to forget it and forgive his deeds. He almost killed you. If he didn’t resist to pull the trigger, you would have been dead.

“NO! y/n, please…I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I want a chance to prove myself to you. I..I don’t know how to say but you should hate me but please don’t go away again. Don’t tell me to give up on you.”

You remove Jongho’s and Seonghwa’s hands from you before standing up and make your away out of the pile where they are all sitting around you.

“y/n…please don’t go.” Wooyoung’s voice cracks and Hongjoong pats his back.

You dust your knee length floral frock, “I am not going…” you turn around, your back facing them. The waters washing your bare feet, the dress flowing with the wind, hairs dancing to the rhythm of the silent melody in the breeze, eyes watching the sun above the horizon, soon it will say the goodbye to the day and the silent night with the roar of the big waves filling the shore.

“I want to feel the moment. What it feels to be with your loved ones again in the same place where you have spent days of crying alone.”

You crane your neck to look at them and smile. They are attentive to your every word, every action, every emotion. You are calm and collected, totally different from the day you were anxious and scattered.

“You often come here?” Hongjoong asks you slowly and you nod while turning towards them. You are shining under the setting sun, their angel. “Come on, one of you already knows about it. Right, Yeosang?”

Everyone looks at him and he slowly nods. “I tracked her location everyday and one day when I saw her spending too much time in this particular location, I thought she was in danger but she was just crying to herself. And since then, I followed her here and watched her from a distance.”

They are surprised to hear that he followed you and you were aware of it.

“don’t pretend you all are any better. You all have stalked me in different ways.” You shake your head with the thought. “living with you all atleast taught me a lot how to know if someone is keeping an eye on me.”

“somebody was stalking you?” Hongjoong is totally confused and when you nod, Seonghwa and Mingi have the same expressions like him. they both ask you the same question.

“Yunho is almost a regular customer at the café. He thought no one would recognise him being so obvious. You don’t drink strawberry milkshake then why did you order that day?” you raise your brow and he presses his lips in line before replying, “I heard you made it specially that day for the children and I wanted to taste it.”

“Are you a child? You even asked saying it's for your daughter. My coworker was so upset knowing you were married.” He laughs lightly.

You fold your hands in front and gesture towards San, “I know it was you who saved me that night while returning from Mrs. Lee's house. Thank you, San. I know you can’t hurt me. you were disturbed and held the gun towards me but give me some time. I promise I will forget it.”

He quickly gets on his feet, approaches towards you and engulfs you in a hug, “Thanks to you, y/n for not giving up on me, on us. I promise you too. I wont ever let anything to happen us for which we have to regret more.”

You nod in his embrace. The ruthless one who was threatening you to shoot is nowhere to be seen today but still a part of you is still hurt.

You are lost in the moment with San that you didn’t notice them on their feet around both of you.

“y/n…you said a lot of things that day.” Jongho’s voice makes you break the hug but San is still holding your hand. Hongjoong casts a glance towards him and proceeds, “about that…about the…”

“about what?” you furrow your brows.

Mingi completes the sentence, “about the baby.”

Oh. Yeah, they still remember it. You thought they didn’t care.

You look towards them, feeling intimidate under their gazes, overwhelmed with all the attention on you, you clutch his hand and gulp the lump with the thought of your baby.

A wave of emotions erupted in you.

“my baby…I lost my first baby…I don’t deserve to be a mother.” Seonghwa pulls you in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. He glares at others for bringing up the topic but deep down he knows, some day it needs to be raised and you had to face but still seeing you breaking down in his arms is making him more upset.

But there is a relief that you are not pushing away them again. He holds you tighter.

San caresses your head and softly says, “it’s okay, y/n. don’t cry. You deserve everything, every little good thing and happiness of this universe. You will be a great mother.”

You rest your head against Seonghwa’s chest and turns towards them, ear picking up the beat of his heart and after so many years of missing them, you are finally with them, in their arms.

Your eyes are hurt and lost in emotion.

“thanks for listening to me that day…I really wanted to take those all off my chest. I felt so nice after screaming everything to you all. I have spent days of crying to myself but everyday I hoped atleast one of you to come to me. Wooyoung and Jongho didn’t blame me much but still as your brothers, they supported you. I was upset, angry, stressed and guilty but you know I was relieved that whatever happened, in the end I had saved you all.”

“Hongjoong…I have saved you from dying. I have saved your gang but somehow…I couldn’t save my baby.”

Yeosang wipes your tears, “don’t cry. You did a lot for us. I don’t know if we deserve you in our life. You are the purest one and still we hurt you, we owe you for everything that you did to save us.”

Seonghwa adds, “I’m sorry, y/n. But I will be always grateful to you for saving us.”

Yunho steps forward and pulls you towards him, your back coming in contact with his chest and holds your hands in front, “look at the view of the setting sun, y/n.”

You glance at him then to others and then to your front, the sun setting slowly.

“you are pretty like the sunset on the sea.”  He plants a kiss on top of your head.

“me?”

Seonghwa nods along with Yunho. Others have a fond smile on their faces.

“why?”

“the level of our love changes with every waves of our emotions. The glass waters represent the tears that reflects the feelings towards each other but still shining, highlighting the bond and strength of us. No matter how rough the days are or how smooth the flow of life is. We will always stay together and forever.”

“Really? But I am still hurt, Yunho. It’s really not easy for me to forget everything.”

Seonghwa pats your cheek lightly, “you really can’t forget it so easily. We did wrong and you should see us like the ones who are guilty for this but let’s again build the bond together. None of us can live without you. If I lose you, I will lose myself too.”

San is hesitant but wooyoung urges him to speak, he steps near you, “we have so much to do in our life. We need to prove you so much. We have to return you the happiness, the smile that you lost that day, the trust you lost that day and your love for us.”

“San, I have lost a lot already. Don’t remind me of those. But atleast I have you all again. Even if I had gone away that day but still I was relief that neither of you were hurt in the mission. You all were safe.”

Mingi smiles, “you are safe too.”

“if you all really wanted me dead then you would have tried many things. I am alive because your love for me, your inner trust for me didn’t let you kill me.”

Hongjoong places a kiss to your side of the head, “I will not let anything to hurt an inch of you. I will show you how an actual princess is to be treated.”

“Even if I have lost everything, my love for you will never get lost. It’s always secure in my heart, beating with the heart strings of our loving bond. Please don’t break it again.”

The setting sun with a promise with a twinkling star in your eyes, the tears of a hope of new beginning. The innocent blossom of a forgiving love. The flowers in the memory of them are left behind with the stargazer still in the middle surrounded by the orchids.

Just like you, their star, surrounding by the stargazers around you, your loved ones.

“please don’t let me go again.”

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @scuzmunkie @yuyusgamingchair @chngbnwf @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn

[illubean]

This is going to sound really stupid but can u write kurapika, leorio, chrollo and feitan with an s/o who's getting a piercing but is truly and honest to God afraid of needles/getting piercings. I'm getting my septum done in 2 weeks and I'm actually shitting myself, send help💀

HXH with a S/o Scared of Needles/Piercings

Characters: Kurapika Kurta, Leorio Paladaknight, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Porter Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

haha I was the same way after getting my septum! I was cussing really bad and told my friend I hate her (which obvi isnt true) but honestly the initial poke doesn't hurt too bad a tip is just to close your eyes and the adrenaline actually makes it hurt less :D

Warnings: mentions of needles

Kurapika Kurta

"If you're scared of needles then just don't get the piercing"

ugh Kurapika you don't understand fear/pain is temporary swag is forever

he is so genuinely confused at why you're still adamant to get a piercing even though you're scared

he'd go with you as moral support though

he holds your hand and gently caresses it

after seeing the needle go through you his face scrunches up and he cringes a little

he's not afraid of needles but jeez that looked like it hurt

he listens to the piercer's aftercare instructions very carefully and makes sure you follow them

he probably keeps special wipes on him just in case you ever need to clean your piercing

10/10 probably the best person you could've asked to come with you

Leorio Paladaknight

he's more afraid than you are

which is weird considering he wants to be a doctor

but there's just something about piercing needles specifically that make him squeamish

if you ask him to go with you he will but he's going to be freaking out

the piercer probably looks at him like "...seriously?"

its a miracle he wasn't kicked out

HE'S the one gripping your hand like his life depends on it

and honestly? him freaking out so hard probably puts you at some sort of ease

like damn someone has to be the levelheaded one

he's holding your hand but he has to face away from you because if he doesn't he might actually pass out

he's such a big baby... but he will always be there for you when you need it <33

Chrollo Lucilfer

like Kurapika he doesn't understand why you're going to get a piercing if you're so scared but he wont say anything

would he go with you to get it done? yeah but I feel like he'd also offer to do it himself

he has no clue what he's doing so uh if you trust him to do it and he fucks up thats on you

two youtube videos and a wikihow article later and he's prepping to pierce you

and he actually does a pretty good job

he talks you through the whole thing and with how distracted you were by him you barely felt it

he's another one who makes sure you keep up with the aftercare

you saved money and it didn't even hurt all that bad so that was an absolute win

Feitan Porter

he's going to laugh at you

he thinks your fear of needles is silly compared to all the shit the troupe does

he's also probably the one piercing you, why waste money at a shop if he can do it for you?

he can't really offer you much considering his hands are occupied

but if you really need to he'll let you grip onto his thigh or something

"Wait! Can you at least give me a countdown!?" "One" and he's already pierced you

see, it wasn't that bad look how quick it was

if you complain after about how his countdown wasn't long enough or how much it hurt Feitan is going to kiss you to shut you up <3

"It wasn't even bad, get over it"

[slttygeto]

COMFORTING YOU AFTER A BREAKDOWN

featuring: gojo, geto.

genre: fluff, comfort.

note #1: super self indulgent. my best friend had just finished comforting me from a breakdown and i thought why not write something abt these men being sweethearts.

note #2: double update???? see yall in 2024 i guess /j

—GOJO

im not even being biased when i say hes the best at comforting

he’s extremely intelligent. but his emotional intelligence makes him feel safer

he wont really act “goofy” like most of the fandom makes him out to be

but rather sit with you and wait until youve calmed down before he can ask you if youre ready to talk

it seemed as though the more he tried to get you talk, the more your lip quivered before you went back to crying again. this has never happened before, and it’s not like gojo was panicking about how to comfort you, he was just extremely worried as to what pushed you to such a breaking point.

rubbing your arms with his thumbs as you stood between his legs and cried on his shoulder, the tall white haired man remained as quiet as possible, slowly wrapping his arms around you.

“do you want me to rock you a little bit?” he rested his chin at the top of your head, gently swinging your body from side to side as he listened to your stuttered breaths and little sniffles that slowly broke his heart to pieces.

“are you ready to talk?” the question itself brought tears to your eyes once again, your arms wrapping around his torso to squeeze him tight and pull him closer to you.

“okay, okay, that’s a no I guess,” he added in a teasing tone, chuckling a little when he heard you snort in between sobs.

you were sure of one thing, and it was that no matter how shitty your day was, getting to be with satoru was able to fix everything.

—GETO

goes into protective mode the moment he sees that youre crying because he knows it takes a lot for you to breakdown this hard

will hold your hands and repeatedly ask you if youre hurt somewhere or if you need to go to the hospital

only to realize halfway through that it was just a bad day, a bad week or maybe even a bad month since you tended to brush things off until you were going to explode

“you scared me,” when he said this, he didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. yet watching you slowly sit up on his lap, swollen eyes filling with tears once again as you let out what he understood to be a “im sorry” in the shape of a sob, shattered his heart to pieces that he had to place his hand on the back of your head to have you hugging him again.

“not saying this to make you feel guilty baby, it just shows that i care. i care when you’re going through something and it affects you this much,” you knew he was referring to the fact that he found you sobbing on the bathroom floor, messy hair and attire being a sign that you weren’t even able to get out of bed the entire day.

“it was just a bad day. was too tired to try and lie to myself,” you mumbled against his chest, body relaxing when his fingers started to trace your back gently.

“if it’s a bad day, then let it be a bad day. even if it physically stops you from getting things done, you’re doing more than enough.”

and sometimes, you wish you were able to record when suguru was this…soft. not that he wasn’t on other days, but seeing him be this careful with his words wasn’t really often considering his blunt personality.

yet, you were still grateful for every part of him.

2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

[less-dev]

We're making a Starbound/Terraria inspired space sandbox game!

We're making a 2D sandbox game similar to Starbound! Or uh, terraria in space.

#nodev contains shitposting

#planetarium contains dev progress

Specifics under the cut

Who are you?

Aspen - Project Lead, Programmer, Pixel artist, Sound Designer.

Hey! I'm Aspen, I've been programming and making games for many many years in basically every engine there is... But never felt the drive to finish one, until now! I consider myself very experienced in the engine we're using (Gamemaker Studio 2.5) and have confidence we'll be able to make this game a reality. I also run the Tumblr account, so assume it's me behind the wheel as a default. Thank you for checking the game out!

Alec - Concept artist, Character Designer

H a l l o I'm Alec, I like writing and drawing and painting and designing shiiiiiiiit. I adore world building and have frequent bursts of creative possession in which I conceive and birth the greatest ideas and concepts in a mere moment. Otherwise, I can be a total dumbass and completely useless. I'm good at colours 👌 I have been a 85% a home-brew DM for about 2 years now and that is the greatest proof of my ADHD-given God powers of creativity. Slay.

What a cool guy!

Design pillars

Immersion. Above all else, I would like roleplay (casual or serious) to be natural and well supported. I would like players to find engaging with the world, and it's characters to be very personal.

Innovation. Tropes such as "You spawn in a green forest and can walk left or right" will be actively avoided. Biomes will have generation that presents more unique movement opportunities. Such as geysers in rock pools launching players high up, or giant twisting vines that hold up chunks of land to hop between.

More quality less quantity. Planets will be significantly more content-dense than Starbound, and perhaps controversially travel between them will be more difficult/expensive as well. This would encourage players to take advantage of all the resources presented on each planet, instead of hopping from one to the next. This would also encourage us throughout development to give each planet as much love as possible. Each planet should feel like a 'miniature terraria world'. Though actually achieving that is easier said than done.

Meaningful content. Procedurally generating creatures from 100 different pre-set monster parts could technically produce limitless alien creatures for players to encounter. But in both No Man's Sky and Starbound. I find this novelty to wear off quick, these creatures are not manually, meaningfully crafted and beyond an unusual appearance and some shallow gameplay changes... They do not create much of a memorable experience for the player. In my opinion, anyway. I would rather hand-craft every creature and make them all significantly unique and interesting. That's not to say procedurally generated creatures won't ever have a place in the game, but they certainly wont be as prevalent as others games.

Okay well... What's finished?

Fundamental lighting shaders akin to Starbound.

Some world generation brushes and basic commands.

A text mark-up language (heavily optimised), and game chat.

Extensive custom debugging tools

Hard and soft-loading of chunks to save on as much memory and CPU usage as possible.

Complete unloading, and compression of chunks on top of the previously mentioned system. As well as a live-saving system.

Setting, Story baseline, and conceptualization of the first 3 playable species. Each species will have a different starting planet, and immediately different playthrough.

Designs and cultures of several additional unplayable races.

Character proportion tests, sprites and sketches.

First-pass on collision functions.

Weighted Tile variance and tile connections.

CONCERNS

Multiplayer. While I have made an online multiplayer game before and it's definitely doable for this game, it would require some practice in a one-off test game to be fully confident. It would also take a LOT of time.

Modding. As far as I know gamemaker games are notoriously difficult for players to modify. Something like Unity is far easier even without mod support. Gamemaker on the other hand is difficult even if I want to design systems in favor of modders. This is kind of a problem for later, I have faith there'll be something we can do to make it work... But a cursory look says it won't be easy. I would be extremely disappointed if there was nothing we could do.

[lollytea]

Delighted myself thinking about the witch kids again, specifically their various attempts to build a replacement portal during the Summer. I'm picturing lots of brainstorm sessions that stretch late into the night and when they get tired enough, they devolve into arguing over who gets the last piece of pizza or playing truth or dare or whatever.

Hunter is feeling really proud of himself for having helped Belos rebuild a portal before. He has experience! He can make himself super useful! And then Amity 'Woman in STEM' Blight is also aiming for the same thing. She's an inventor's daughter. Her Dad's main area of expertise is using magic to power technology. She has plenty of opinions on the mechanical side of things.

Hunter and Amity either click extremely well and are plotting away at a prototype immediately or they disagree on every trivial detail and cannot go five minutes without arguing about it. There's no real resentment here. They're both just used to doing everything themselves and struggle to work as a team.

I don't think the project would get off the ground without Luz. She keeps everybody from wasting time with dud ideas because she's already spent tons of time in the Boiling Isles attempting to build a portal home. She knows exactly what WONT work cuz she's already tried it. She's also got a knack for thinking outside of the box and knows that even though glyphs are rendered useless in this realm, they can still be utilized. If she draws just the right glyph combo and finds a bit of magic for the glyphs to soak up, she's pretty sure they can light this portal's engine up.

Vee reminds them that she's still got a supply of Hexes Holdem cards, which have been working pretty well for keeping her human form. Luz, who had forgotten those things existed, nearly hits the roof in excitement.

Vee doesn't contribute much to the whole construction process, but while she does supervise. She did a health and safety course while at Summer Camp and is diligently making sure nobody is getting their asses blown up.

Portal Building is not Willow's strong suit. She does not have Luz and Hunter's experience, Amity's engineering knowledge or Gus' enthusiasm for tinkering with human technology. So she does what she does best and offers support. She hypes her smart friends up. And when they start doubting that they're actually making any progress, Willow swoops in to encourage them that if ANYBODY can build a portal, her best friends can!! Once the team realizes that they're gonna need something super strong to hold the portal upright, Willow beams. Her vines!! Her vines are tough as hell!! She can do that!!

Gus falls behind a little at first. He might be a prodigy but his skills are quite dependent on the existence of actual magic, so he struggles a bit to find his purpose here. He's very eager to work with human technology but Luz knows more about them than he does. He's smart enough to offer ideas but Hunter and Amity always come up with them before he does because they're both annoyingly STEM brained and have gotten a bit competitive about it. Gus is given the task of gathering equipment for the portal with Vee and he tries not to pout about it. After they managed to track down a half busted TV at a lawn sale, Vee takes him to a petstore to cheer him up. Gus gloomily stares at the hamsters running in their little wheels. He idly thinks about an article he read in one of his human magazines. About how hamsters in wheels can create energy. Unfortunately, hamsters aren't magic.

Cut to 2 days later when the team realizes that the Hexes Holdem cards just aren't gonna cut it. They don't possess nearly enough magic to power up a portal. It's not gonna work. All the time they've spent on this, and it's not even gonna work. They need something else. Anything else.

Luz looks like she's gonna burst into tears. Amity is pacing back and forth. Hunter is like this close 🤏 to slamming his head against the wall in an effort to rattle a genius idea out of his brain. Willow is making a valiant effort to keep everybody from having a full blown meltdown.

Gus is staring intently at Flapjack who is pecking away at the floorboards again. Then he's like "Hey....hear me out....what if-?"

[netherfeildren]

what’s your writing process like? how long does it take for a fic to come together and until your happy with it? does anyone help or look it over?

takes me a long time tbh - like... the actual time I spend with fingers to the keyboard in the google doc isn't so long. I'm a pretty expedient writer all things considered.,but I plot for a long time like months and months. busy, dying is the fastest I've ever thought up an idea and then executed just bc I was desperate to post something - I think I started in about August. usually thought it's a much longer timeline, I've been planning a longer multi chapter canonverse fic for Joel for like over a year at this point and I know I wont write it until after season 2 comes out which is what I've been waiting for to be able to make it happen.

for editing, I usually try and hold myself to not reading through any more than a handful of times at the most because I have a tendency to nitpick and the more I read over a piece the more I start to dislike it, it just starts to sound like a bunch of rhythmless nonsense. I do edit as I go though so I'll write for a day or whatever, read and edit the next time I look at it, continue to write more. then a couple of full edit throughs once it's all done and then that's it. I've never had a beta as of now or anything like that and no one looks them over for me before I post lol I get shy. however, for busy, dying I did have Mai read it the day before I posted bc I was just feeling so insecure and nervous about posting I needed her to tell me it wasn't a sack of garbage and actually made sense. but in terms of actually editing, I just like doing it on my own. I'm sure the writing might suffer for it and would benefit from a comb through by a second set of eyes but this is just for me and for fun I like keeping it close to my chest

[skunkes]

sorry if this is a silly question but do you like. sit down and talk with your ocs in your head? and they tell you about themselves? how do you get them to reveal information....i am begging mine to let me know them orz

I do! In several different ways ^_^ the trick is to think of yourself as a character in your brain theater... ill mostly be explaining thru examples and using silly language ^_^ and its more How I Do It vs a how to....

"Sitting down and talking to em" interrogation style only happens before they're fully formed. when talon still didnt have very many traits it was like we were in a white room with 2 chairs... although you COULD make a scenario out of this its usually the Before for me. final tweaks in the form of basic traits and info before sending em out for further development

the way i get ocs to tell me about themselves is more thru actions! with talon I "locked him in a room" with al in the form of imagining how they'd meet. because I set it in talon's decrepit home with no running water or electricity, there come questions like. would he be accommodating? would he explain the vampirism or just rely on flashing his fangs or hiding them until its time to bite? these arent questions i actually went into the scenario having, but as you Play Dolls its questions that get answered anyway, ykwim? (although you could also go into the simulation (lol) with questions you want answered!) And its your brain so you can do as many takes and tweaks as you want, and things develop as you imagine the same thing, or different things, which all inform a character.

Scenarios could be anything. Im a serial daydreamer so anything goes depending on how bored I am or what im doing... and just like with real people, every scenario is a way to learn more about somebody...! It's like improv in your brain as you think up how they'd react and respond to things, and what they'd say. But also, going with your oc to the grocery store or a restaurant or to slay a dragon could give you insight into their behavior but likely not any info about their trauma or whatever, just like real people (but it also depends on the person) (and the oc!)

I DO have "sit down and talk" scenarios once i feel ive learned enough standard, early level friendship stuff about em though. It's much fun if you set the scene in your mind to mimic a real life Deep Conversation session. Sitting in the backyard on those plastic chairs, or aimless car ride at night. right now the one I keep going back to is just. Loafed in bed when you're really sleepy and just starting to say anything about anything and maybe get a little sentimental. sometimes its just me talking but I obvs have the ability to imagine how he'd be interpreting that in his brain, ykwim?? You play several roles at once I guess. It's like the sims, switching back and forth between povs, but the level of immersion i get into never feels like I'm Making Them Say It, it just feels natural at that point because I've learned enough.

There's also information that's shared by you figuring out what they'd Think (as above) vs what they say which is also fun characterwise... AND ALSO while im daydreaming scenarios I do multiple takes to find their voice. Like, I'm an overexplainer, a detailed therapy-speak-er. Sometimes I catch myself giving ocs that Voice and I have to do a retake. Like hold on, Talon would NOT be introspective. He wouldn't share all that shit I just "made" him say even if it is true and now I know about it. He'd say something insanely vague and confusing if anything at all. Let's take it from the top. etc

It rlly is about immersion! You have to have fun with it! Sometimes it's so Real to me that I genuinely can't develop an oc further because I cant make something up for them and they wont "tell me", which means I just have to spend more time with em I guess! or maybe need to leave em alone for a bit. or maybe ill never know (<- which also tells me about em!) just like real people. treat the fake people like real people in your fake dollhouse brain theater sims lot puppet show simulation.... also i added more in the tags bc i didnt know where to put it in the main txt 😭

[nomaishuttle]

literally the pet rooms at work are the evillest not bc the pets are bsd at ALL theyve all been either well behaved or very timid and avoidant so its not like they get in the way. theyre bad bc my heart wants to just pet the kittys forever

[foodtruckery]

(abo anon) it makes me happy to know youre enjoying my little ideas especially because of how much i enjoy yours :D i was not even really intending for this to spiral as much as it did yknow whats really funny about ending up as your co-conspirator for this is that i actually barely ever read omegaverse stuff somehow your little thought gripped me by the throat and here we are lmao but man i love how down-bad ford is while simultaneously pretending to be so detached from how down-bad he actually is lmfao i can totally see him insisting stan doesnt need his suppressants because /he/ can help its really no problem stanley in fact if ford would be HAPPY to help! ...for health reasons. of course. though i think its very indicative of their sense of self worth with how they deal with this. ford is desperate to hold onto the only opportunity (in his eyes) of having stan the way hes always wanted so if he has to play it off as a biological function he will. meanwhile stans self loathing is so strong he wont let himself even have the out ford is offering him by acting like he "needs" ford for this. hed rather just bury his head in the sand and forget this ever happened and maybe part of that is the frustration that ford would only want him because hes an omega not because he really wants /stan/ (if only he knew about fords VERY flexible sexuality over the years lmfao) and then he catches ford dumping his pills over the side of the stan of war and then its time for the pines twins usual method of working through their problems: 1. fight about it 2. revelation that theyre both being idiots 3. fuck about it and also your tags are so real theres so many possibilities with this concept that its hard to choose just one path haha whatever you decide to go with im sure will be great (and hot as hell) either way gonna start signing off on these with 🐶to make it easier for myself and because I have the sense of humor of a child -🐶

playing catch up here, but you and me both, 🐶!! i've dabbled in omegaverse stuff before, but never really put that much consideration into it, y'know? we're just dragging each other down this rabbit hole lol

BUT YEAH you're absolutely right. ford is out here looking for any excuse he can to justify getting what he wants, and this is a perfect setup! but thent here's stan doing his damndest to make that as hard as possible, because of course he is. he hasn't needed anyone in damn near 50 years, he's not gonna start now.

and let's be honest. it was always gonna end up as they fight about it and then they fuck about it. the pines boys talking it out? absolutely not.

[dancedance-resolution]

opinions welcome, though this is mostly for me to talk out my feelings since my friend is overseas and can’t call. warning, ns fw

so i’m seeing this person A. we haven’t fucked yet (but will be able to starting monday when their kid brother they live w goes back to school) but the sexting has been incredible, it honestly feels like they were lab made to match all of my desires kink-wise. this is my first time seeing someone who matches my sexual wants so perfectly like that.

today they told me they have realized that they are only interested in me + sex w me if this is something romantic/committed. our interactions and their feelings during/after sexting have sort of confirmed they are demi. some text excerpts:

ddr: so does that mean you want to have this turn into something romantic/committed? slash need that to fully be able to engage with it?

A: definitely the last bit

then a bit later:

A: and if you do want to step back, i think now would be the time because i’m not to the point where i’m so attached that it would really hurt

so now i’m wondering. 1. am i capable of engaging in a romantic relationship with them? and 2. do i want to?

i want to address question 2 first.

pros:

match sexually

autistic

medium:

we don’t have a ton in common but also i never have a ton in common w ppl i date? or even my friends, my closest friends we usually only have 1 thing in common that forms the base of our relationship….the things we have in common is autism, dyke, very similar living/career/school situations. we don’t have any fixations/interests in common, but i don’t with quite a few of my friends tbh bc they’re always changing for all of us.

they’re attractive. in medium not pro bc i didn’t have the same “oh i need to fuck them immediately” level of attraction like i did w jill, but yeah

cons:

still undecided if i enjoy spending time w them in person. they are less than a year younger than me, but this is my first time in a relationship where i feel like the other person is noticeably younger than me. usually im the “young” one in the relationship since i live w my parents, work only part time but am not in school full time, and have the energy of a younger person generally. and i don’t know how i feel about that.

if i keep things going w them, i risk hurting them like i hurt sam, and i don’t want to do that esp since i know what they need and id be choosing to keep things going w them even though im not sure i can be what they need

okay now question 1. am i capable.

honestly i haven’t had a romantic relationship since jill. everything felt so perfect w her, the sex was incredible, i loved her personality, she was kind, i loved her family, i felt like i fit in her life perfectly, and i saw a future w her. am i mentally holding back bc im waiting to achieve jill levels of perfection before allowing myself to enter another romantic situation? and if so, does that mean im still caught up on her over a year later or does it mean im holding an unrealistic standard in my brain that i wont feel love unless it looks + progresses exactly the same as it did w her?

wait new question 3. do i want a romantic relationship at all? like not even specific to them

my immediate reaction is yes, but not yet. in some distant future i want to settle down and have a wife, but i feel so young to be doing that yet. why waste my 20s on something committed when i can instead spend that time exploring and learning what i want? like with A, i’ve learned that i enjoy certain kink elements beyond just internal fantasy. what else is there out there for me to learn that i would miss if i dated for commitment rn?

here’s what i know:

i like sex

i want to have it

i want to have different experiences with it, discover new things

i know what i like, but i also feel like there is so much more for me to learn and so much more possibility -> and i don’t know if i can limit all of that learning and exploration to just one other person

hmm question 4. what about polyamory?

if A is cool w me not being sexually monogamous while in a romantic relationship w them, would that make dating them more feasible?

well am i capable of non monogamy. i only have so much time in my current life situation, and meeting new ppl, esp new poly ppl, takes time and effort. i see myself never actually pursuing others, getting bored w A like i did with sam, and then breaking up w them and leaving them hurt.

maybe i should talk to my coworker taylor about this. she said i was ruthless (but in a complimentary way she said) when i told her i broke up w sam bc i was bored.

hmm sub question. will i get bored with A.

i certainly do not see myself w them romantically long term, as in wife material. this goes back to being unsure if i enjoy spending time w them in person, but i don’t see us as compatible enough to be fucking wife material. i don’t want to enter a relationship with a pre set expiration date on it right, but wait fuck actually

what if we entered this with an expiration date. like what if i proposed to them that we trial run a romantic relationship with an expiration date of ,say, midterms or the election. at the end i will say whether i have discovered myself capable of a romantic rs w them. however this also runs the risk of hurting them since that’s more time for them to bond w me, and also a lot of time for them to be mentally unsure if im meeting their level of romantic commitment yk?

okay but here’s the bottom line. i am only even considering a romantic rs w them bc i am interested in sex w them. so in a sense i would be disrespecting the boundary they set and just using them for sex. like is that an accurate picture of what’s going on here?

lol the obv answer is just end things w them. choosing to continue would be selfish, though one could argue if i commit to fully fully TRYING to be romantically committed to them during the trial run (and ofc am transparent w them about it) then it is not selfish bc im not using them for sex while disregarding their desire, i’m using them for sex while also trying my best to meet the boundary they set that they need it to be romantic?

hmm okay so these are my thoughts for now. opinions welcome, esp if you think i’m being an asshole here PLEASE tell me if i am bc i fear i am. i have not been on the other side of this type of situation before.

i will probably reblog w some more thoughts later.

[imaginespazzi]

I'd just like to say I've had a super busy week with personal stuff and work, and you have no idea how much seeing a new chapter perked me up! Your writing makes me so happy. I'm stuck working on a presentation for work this weekend and it is really draining and boring, and I've allowed myself to reread and review a section of this chapter for every 5 slides I finish. Productivity Queen.

May 2033 - Locker room eye fucking

alright so it took me a hot minute to figure out what the HELL this chapter had to do with chapter 2, but I think I have it. Paige is worried Angie Davis will shine, the Valks will not need 2 PGs the next season, and P will have to go to the liberty… so her plan is to… kill Angie?

Also I feel like you didn't tell us who their coach is on purpose! You crafty minx.

Of course they watched the draft together, as I am sure they do everything together, cause they are wifey. Azzi keeps referencing she doesn't know what 'this' is yet, but I am curious why. Like they are clearly committed and exclusive… why not slap a GF label on there you fools. Honestly at this point though GF doesn't seem like enough.

Azzi being distracted by P's biceps…. me too girl, me too.

Paige being distracted by Azzis abs… me too girl.

Hickey on the collarbone from last night. I hope these two idiots are being quiet. Poor Stephie being in the same house at night as these two horn bags.

Ok I love this sexy little banter in the locker room, they are such idiots for thinking they wont get clocked.

The tidbit about Paige suggesting first that they keep it on the DLDL is so sad to me, babygirl trying some self preservation.

Tessa is a menace and I love it.

LOL Jana being so relieved to have SOMEONE to share her misery with.

"They're kind of disgusting" clocked.

May 2033 - Domestic car ride #1

I need to admit, as I've been critical of her in the past - I am SO PROUD of Azzi. She is all in on this, and despite her constant nagging fears, she is fighting against them cause she wants this. A+ growth Azzi, you go Azzi Bueckers.

Also I am just loving how much they call each other Baby it is very very cute and makes my heart and my vagina swell with happiness.

“I’m okay with the fact that you’ve probably fucked other people. I mean other than the woman you married as well that is.” HEHEHE yes thank you for this, I think there needs to be an 'Azzi spitefully brings up Olivia' occurance at least once a chapter. Bonus points when she uses a word other than Olivia's actual name to describe her.

"then hear about some whore who had the audacity-” HAHAHAHA. Paige Imma hold your hand when I say this, but I think there were probably a few whores and at least one man-whore.

The hand holding in the car, the knuckle kiss, "all mine"… SQUEEEEE

I am proud of these two idiots for their communication on this though! Azzi for gently coaxing, Paige for realizing its best to talk it out together. “it’s nothing we can’t get through.” Awwww.

May 2033 - Enter Stephie

I have to say Stephie is the absolute STAR of this chapter. Too many zingers to list. I love it, you write her really well cause its hard to make a 5 year old engaging or believable.

I am absolutely shocked Azzi hasn't threatened to withhold sex unless P stops giving Stephie so much junk food. Azzi is gonna have an aneurysm. Prob cries into her green juice daily.

'you’re more than that, you two are the reason my world keeps turning' I'll say it again, I am so proud of Azzi. Bitch is ALL IN.

Wow they have fully uhauled eh? I LOVE IT.

Paige with kids is TOO CUTE. I don't blame Stephie I'd be pissed if Paige wasn't giving me all her attention either.

HAHAHAHAHA Curry clocking them since high school. You bitches are not slick.

“No thank you Coach Bueckers,” ouch.

AZZI IS WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO SAY I LOVE YOU? I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THESE.

The whole exchange with Claudia's whore mom was absolutely spot on. Paige would be obliviously smiling along chatting away thinking nothing of it. AZZI with the bicep crushing hold.

NOT CLEMENTINE! Stephie is more of a menace than I thought possible.

“Well is she allowed to hug and carry and kiss Claudia’s Mama then?” - CLOCKED AGAIN. Does Stephie suspect something?

October 2022

I know this is gonna hurt cause a Drew + Azzi Pookie pairing realllly has my heart

Paige freaking out about waking up alone on her birthday is so accurate

“you won’t ever hurt my Paigey will you?” OH DEAR GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

May 2033 - Drew is Scary

Shocked Paige didn't yell at him immediately with that attitude he's giving her girl

Not Stephie with the kisses, she is diabolical

Oh so he HATES HATES Azzi

Drew just finished his rookie NBA season! I love that for him

"you’re my Miss Buecks’s Mommy's brother so that means you’re my Uncle Drew .” Fixed it for you.

This was so good and I cannot fucking wait to see what happens next. Thank you for blessing us with another chapter Nivi!!! 🤱🏽🤱🏽🤱🏽

Bestiiiieeeee hi <3 Aww I'm glad to provide a little reprieve in your life and i know you're gonna crush your presentation for sure!

I love that you title parts of the story lmao

Does Paige ever actually have a plan or she just doing what the vibes tell her? Which i mean yeah I guess might be to kill Angie?

Yeaaaaah this is not one of those Nivi has a plan situations. The Coach doesn't have a name because I haven't figured out who it is yet and so she's just unnamed til I do whoops.

No labels because they're going with the flow (what could go wrong you know?)

LMAO they're trying to be as quiet as possible I'm sure

I'm so glad you see Azzi's growth like girlie's done a lot of it since she ran out of Paige's house and is definitely fighting all her intrusive thoughts.

I'm a whore for the word "baby" and so are they because this is my fic tee hee

One thing Azzi's gonna do is make sure everyone knows she does not like #thatwoman

I'm so glad y'all love Stephie and she's both adorable and believable. She's like the perfect cumulation of all my kids at work and so I really do hop I do her justice.

I mean l don't know if Azzi could survive withholding sex lmao

Stephanie Katarina Fudd: smartest kid in the world fr fr - she doesn't suspect per say but I think she can tell that what her Mama has with Miss Buecks isn't the same as with her other Aunties

Paige just dramatic as hell all the time I fear

DREW IS SCARY LMAO

Stephie's gonna get her kisses no matter how awkward everyone in the room is lmao