#i wont go into details just know i cant for the life of me draw what i got requested on model

[moeatsushi]

sooo tired of this guy

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[cbedfordart]

Hey! I’ve been following you for a while and I really love your art, it’s absolutely stunning and I love the way you paint and capture anatomy. I know this is a bit of a broad question but I was wondering if you had any tips on getting better at painting digitally and studying anatomy, maybe more specifically blending, colour picking, and structuring anatomy in a way that looks somewhat realistic?

Thanks and I'm glad you enjoy my work long enough to be following me for this long! I definitely love drawing a naked body that's for sure haha. In terms of tips for getting better there's a few things I can mention but it's going to fall broadly in the general answer of "study", because this is the most sure fire way to be able to understand what it is you're trying to emulate in your art. There are different ways to study, and they teach something slightly different. For example, doing studies from life (live drawing classes) help me understand movement in a way studying from a photograph cant, simply because you're seeing the same model in different poses in real time, you can see how the fat and muscle moves around as they shift to different positions. So they're not technically moving the whole time, but you're still seeing some movement there, and understanding what sticks to what while it rotates and bends. Studying from photographs can help give you time to do some real deep dives and investigate where different bones/muscles sit while someone is in a particular position. There's also the opportunity for understanding how shadows may be formed by the body as typically photographers are more conscious of how the subject may be lit than what may be available in a live drawing class. Beware though, as more things are photoshopped than you realise, not all photos represent reality. Especially glam and fashion photos. It doesn't mean its bad to want to have these effects on your work but just be conscious they might not always be anatomy accurate if that's what you're striving for. I sometimes make a conscious decision to go against what is anatomically correct for a certain effect myself. A book I have been recommending for years for anatomy is Dr. Paul RIcher's "Artistic Anatomy". It's great for understanding muscle structure intimately - it's designed specifically for artists, but with the idea of trying to stylise the diagrams as little as possible for the sake of understanding the human form. There's a lot of great info and detail in here, but beware, there is not a lot of variety in body structure (at least not in the edition I have which is missing female anatomy I think already so I'm not sure what else I don't have in here). So you'll be able to understand function a lot from here but you wont be able to learn a lot about fatter body types sadly.

Colour picking is probably the most difficult for me to explain easily, as I have spent a long time winging it, then studying it, then being really experimental with it. I could write a lot a lot about this but to spare making this post any longer I'll refer to another fun book just for getting started on some frequent and common terms called "Color and Light" by James Gurney.

I also love that he uses like, dinosaurs for everything in here lol. It's a great starting point that can give you some go to ideas that you can then experiment from there. It's not very authoritarian (or at least that's what I feel), and doesn't push anything forward as a hard and fast rule, just showing what affects some colour combinations might instil in someone.

As a whole, I've gotten better at painting digitally by studying traditional painting techniques. They theories are basically transferrable one to one with some few exceptions. I tend to blend my colours by simply using a soft round brush in Photoshop with a low opacity. Much the same way I would with a real canvas, with a large round brush and diluted colour. I hope this answers your questions in some way. I tried to be not too specific only because this answer would be at least another 30k words lol because this is something i think a lot about! I love technique! If I ever stream again, feel free to pop in and ask more questions where I might be able to show some stuff in real time! Not sure when that will happen though!

Also the way i do stuff isn't a "correct" way either. I like painting from imagination so this is how I make that work. Some people like to only work with references for every piece, and that is a completely legit way to create stunning art as well. Good luck!

[dogwaterdish]

dogwater shading tips !!! + drawinfs

Use colored shading! using a color for shading makes a drawing look better usually, since it gives it more life in a sense. if depends on the mood you want for the drawing though, so if you're going for dreary, black shading can be used well

Know where/what your light source is. this is real important because it dictates where the shadows go in the first place! Once you decide where it is, try to imagine seeing your drawing from that angle. anywhere you cant see will be shaded! you can tweak this method as you please, I find it best to use it as a starting point and then do my own thing after that

Intensity of the shadow is directly affected by the intensity of the light! If your light source is a normal lamp or normal sunlight, your shadows wont be as intense, dark, and sharp. they'll be smoother and lighter than the most intense ones. but if your light is something more intense like a flashlight, the shadows will be sharper and darker.

I have a lotta good examples of this in my bakugou drawin I made a bit ago, so here he is:

theres

1. colored shadows -- I used reds and some purples almost for the shadows to add to the mood and all that. I did this by first adding a more detailed shading layer, going in and putting color 'under' the hair and neck, and I'll get to why when I get to #2. I gave this layer the darker color filter on ibis paint x. then, I went in with a larger shading area to add more dramatic affect, by taking the same reddish color and adding it everywhere that wasn't getting the most intense lighting from the explosion.

2. since the explosion was the light source, everything centered around it. The detailed shading went under the hair and neck because those places are almost always dark. Then, I looked to see where was the farthest from the explosion and threw in a bunch of dark colors there as well!

3. Because the light of the explosion was so strong, I made the shadows vibrant dark colors as well! heres some examples of softer shading:

softer shading usually comes up more for me, but my more recent pieces have been very intense lighting.

for soft shading, I pick where the light comes from, and then I add the shadows with a watercolor brush. I usually pick different shadow colors for the different colors for soft shading, but they all have to be the same relative vibrancy for it to make sense mosta the time. I keep stuff thats under other stuff the darkest, like the neck or under sleeves, and blend the color out softly until it just kinda fades. usually you dont need too much shadows for casual lighting.

heres another example of soft shading! ^

@princelyre !! hope this helps

[muder-boner]

MY OC IF SHE WAS IN SALLY FACE

tw mentions of getting high , nightmares , fighting

Summary of my oc': Her name is Riri /its not me lol just same name !! She normally lives in a zombie apocalypse, erm i wont go in detail her life is so disturbing

so in sf, shes a teen again, and her mother is alive, when her and her sister , and moher left the abusive home and ran away from her father they moved in The Adisson Apartments /idk if spelled right and uhm yeah idk, here are some hc

When Riri first met Sal, she already knew him , but that still didnt make her any less cold.

''Uh, youre Riri, right? I heard youre new here.'' Sal asks. Riri squints her eyes. ''Ah, youre Larrys friend?.'' She looks around and nods when she notices Larry nearby. ''Sup dude.''She turns to Sal. ''You need anything?'' Sal shakes his head. ''I just wanted to introduce myself, im Sal, my friends call me Sally Face.'' Riri looks around. ''Erm, oki.''

After that when they hung out at Riris place, Sal brought Gizmo over, little did he know Riri had two cats, white cat named Angel, and black cat named Dracula, the three cats played together , while Sal looked around Riris room for hour since she has so much stuff in there.

After like a month of being friends, Riri got introduced to the friend group, she instantly became friends with Ashley, bur she kinda just was there everytime they hanged out, not much of a talker.

Sal was confused how Riri knew Larry, so when he asked her she explained that Larry caught her smoking on the rooftop, they proceeded to get high on casual Fridays, just smoke buddies.

Lisa and Riris mother are bestfriends.

Riri appered in Larrys and Travis' nightmares cause they both saw Riri in a fight with one of Lizzies / her younger sister / bully, they still havent recovered

Sal could hear Riri yell at Lizzie at 3 am from downstairs over some food.

Riri likes to study human anatomy and animal anatomy with Todd, only reason she likes to be around him.

She relates to Travis so she tries to help him, not knowing how to comfort him yet she gets called a cunt by him so she punched his nose, shes too embarrased to say sorry so she didnt show up tp school for 3 days.

She once got high with a teacher, nobody knows.

Riris mother hates when Riri smokes in her room but cant help smoke with her

Her younger sister, Lizzie LOVES Larry, she sees him like an older brother,

one time Riri came home to see Lizzie paint Larrys nails pink and play with glitter ponies together. She still has a picture of Larry like that on her wall.

Larry was suprised Lizzie knows so many swear words, so they had a contest of who know the most swear words.

OKI THATS KINDA IT I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THESE, I MIGHT DRAW RIRI AND LIZZIE SO U COULD SEE HOW THEY LOOK LIKE !! I HOPE U LIKE THESWE

[middleschoolfursona]

literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.

i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.

it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.

i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.

youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.

thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3

anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)

i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.

dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.

"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....

its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.

i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!

[starlightwonders05]

I think I’m gonna start using tumbler to share my thoughts and progress as an artist so this will be the start of that. I’ve finally decided how to format my favorite story. I’ve been devoloping that story with my friends for two year now. And we settled on a comic format where its kinda like “everything is not as it seems” where it kinda starts off as sorta normal but i lowkey cant fully do that ofc because our story involves being in a purgatory. So I Geuss its more just like? I don’t really reveal everything at first but just set the tone that this place is kinda important? I started writing the script for the first page and surprisingly its like doing a very detailed roleplay. Honestly? Im more scared of drawing backgrounds then anything lol I’ve been tooo hyper focused on my human skill that I’ve neglected literally everything else lol.

I also am just very scared to be a content creator in general I’ve been putting it off for a very long time I wanted to start a lot younger but I wasn’t confident in my skills but now im confident in my skills im just not sure WHT to do im even confident i can still do something good with the eras where my skills are underdeveloped. I Geuss I’ve just put so much weight on trying to wait for the “right time” to do things and waiting until i get this or that or wait until thie happens. I’ve lowkey been stalling for like two years. I struggle with even taking care of myself on a daily basis so doing art on a daily basis is kinda like hard? I used to go through sketchbooks in like a month lols. But i just have less motivation i have more ideas then ever i just am tired and scared? I just Geus a part of me just deep down feels like.. what if i put myself out there and no one wants to read my story? And love my ocs? I’ve been working so hard on these things for years so what if i show it to the world and no one even cares? I would have wasted my time and just like..i wanna be an artist and i wanna be a creator that people can love i wanna be known for it and do big things because of it and i just deep down feel like its not gonna happen for me. Im not gonna get lucky. And my efforts are for nothing..

I’ve been SO inspired by things like Undertale black butler and just artist creators. I also feel like my efforts arent enough i hear stories of others posting when they are young and slowly getting recognition or just lucking out with connections and i feel like that kind of things wont happen to me. Im black and trans and I was severely neglected as a child. No one really encourged me. No one ever really believed in me. So I barely believed in myself. It took be until my mid teens to learn basic ass things. Because I was academically smart and could speak very intelligently no one believed i needed help. No one helped me. They told me that i was smart and can figure it out myself. That’s devasting to hear. When youre drowning and know that anyone else can do this. Everyone else is better than me. I may like doing art and am passionate about it but i know everyone else is better. They arent as scared. They were encourged. It sucks. Because this has been my life story and i can’t even be good at the one thing im passionate about doing. And I’ve put all my cards into art. I’ve sacrificed a lot. I’ve worked SO hard. But i feel like it’s not enough. I feel like it’s never gonna be enough. Im gonna end up one of those sad lonely people who were so passionate when they were young but gave it up cause it never worked out. And im scared of that. I WANT art to be my thing i want content creation to be my thing i really do but as the days pass it feels like im wasting my time. No ones ever gonna like my stuff. No ones ever gonna see me. No one cares. It feel so suffocating. Doing art has become a very heavy burden on my shoulders. Something that used to save me is now weighing me down. Im not good at anything else. I ahve no other choice. And im very afraid. I dont wanna will this into existence but there’s no denying my fears. They scream at me everyday. I cant help but listen? It try I’ve tried so hard to be positive to keep pushing but i jsut need to get all this off my chest. It’s hard. Im sorry this turned into something this wasn’t supposed to be but i suppose it’s good for me to let it out. No ones really listening anyways.

[theendofuno]

okay….haii tl;dr: i want to throw myself from a reactor nuclear and besides loving this page dearly keeping it daily isnt helping me with these kinda of thought so ill start a god-knows-who-long hiatus

now *puts a music box version of meltdown by iroha for dramatic purposes* *cleans throat* pretending im talking to an audience its easier for me okay dont judge me :(

i dont know how to write texts but ill try my best to explain everything without going into too much annoying stuff but the text may have a few suicide mentions here and there

okay

i created this page in a very dark period of my life that never went away, it actually worsened everyday. it was supposed just to be fun and games, "oh this character didnt got released this month, maybe drawing him everyday for a month until he gets here will be very funny!!!" *stares at 2 years*

as you can see, i didnt had ANY prepare to keep going for the long we did, but this is 100% not a complain

i really love this page, i really do love everyone i've met, i love having this project with my best friend, but i cant and wont lie: it made me VERY worse than i already was. it made me feel good, it made me feel loved, it made me feel human again, and at the same time it absolutely killed me

having to keep this consistence everyday, having to do good drawings, not allowing myself to do what it was better for my own health just because i didnt wanted to disappoint people with silly drawings when the first week was all cool drawings full colored with a bunch of details, references and etc

i really lost my count of how many times i had a terrible breakdown or even an attempt and my first thought was just "yeah that sucked. anyway i have to work so people will have some art tomorrow!"

and to be honest i dont think starting this page with my friend was…..that of a good idea. i know youre here just for their art. you dont need to lie i know theyre better than i am and you would prefer to see their art everyday other than mine. dont worry the feeling its mutual

but well theyre a slow artist and i wont be the one forcing them to draw everyday, i am the one that can do it and thats what i did for 300 days until now!

but that was something that kinda broke my feelings also cuz im very harsh on myself and keeping comparing their drawings to mine, not only the quality but also the different attention it all got (and sometimes it was almost a 20 likes difference so..sucks to be me ig) isnt doing good for my little damaged brain. its 100% not their fault tho and im not saying it is KJGDKFDK but if im going to be honest then i will

i dont know how to keep going the text tbh,, so,, my point is that im havent felt well since i started the page, and i love it with my whole heart, and these feelings have nothing to do with uno, grand chase itself, or the community (maybe a 2% fault go for annoying people from twitter /hj), im just being a little egoistic and doing this for myself or otherwise i can go completely insane and well. psych wards dont look funny :(

i really feel nasty, an HORRIBLE human being, absolute egoistic trash by abandoning the page, i feel SO FUCKING BAD for not drawing my son, by not updating here everyday and allowing people to see the silly stuff i do, but i guess i got to my breaking point where i just cant keep ignoring my suicide attempts by drawing and keeping my mouth shut (really, my last attempt was so scary i didnt fully recovered from)

yeahhhhhhh

i guess that was it

i pinky-promise i'll try my best to keep drawing and posting everytime i can, but it wont be daily, and it may not be weekly also, but i didnt gave up and i WONT gave up, this page is my absolute pride and joy and i cant just let it go away for a bad mental day. i still love and forever will love uno and drawing him, and i'll be forever happy for everyone i've met and helped me even without they knowing, just by liking or commenting on my stuff

i hope you guys can forgive me for abandoning stuff right now and i hope y'all dont forget me. i wont be mad if you forget me. i'll just be a little sad. maybe cry a little *stares at you like that ( ◕_◕)* but dont worry. its okay.

i'll be trying my best to get back posting daily at least around day 330, but dont put high hopes. please. dont expect much. bigs chances i'll be just dropping a stick man with a heart ahoge saying haiiiii and go back to posting silly ugly art

[smileymoth]

Self harm tw

Im not gona do anything rn bc im going home tomorrow and the ones i made last week havent even healed properly but i swear to god one day im going to slice up my wrists just to experience what it looks and feels like because its always been a fucked up fantasy of mine because ive been mentally ill since i was 10 and even without the internet i wouldve lost it some other way. Sometimes i think about going too deep and having to get stitcjes. But if it happened it would be on accident. I woildnt do it on purpose bc im a coward.

I remember in 5th grade we were on a school trip and i lost my mind bc of prohably overstimulation lbr and i started to badly grate away at my wrist witj a plastic knife and that was so cringe i remember feeling cringe immediately since i calmed down and its so embarrassing that i have these thoughts in the first place since youre not supposed to. The next morning i woke up and my dad noticed ky scratched arm and he made a joke about it. It didnt feel too good. Ive never cut too much. I remember in 6tj grade i would cut a small piece of skin off my wrist with scissors and i stkll have a scar from it and it would burn dry to air exposure and id be kinda disturbed bc there was a hole in my skin (go figure) but its so small now. All my sh scars have mostly faded. Ive never done too much because im scared to do too much and go too deep but by god i want to. But i dont want the scars. I dont want my mom to see. I dont want people to see. I just want the feeling it gives. Even if you dont do too much rhe pressure release or adrenaline calmdown after feels so nice and uoi feel so good for like 5 minhtes before you regret what you did. Like its not even a big problem to me lbr i just do a couple to get away iwth saying my cat attacked me and thats why theyre always crooked or i "scratched myself against a screw at school lol" idk if my mom ever really believed me in the first place. Its always awkward when she asks bc i pretend i didnt notjce i have them. And while i dont do it a lot and often ive never cut myself more tjan in the past 2 years. Did my dads death trigger this. I dont know. And i feel like its getting worse slowly. And im just letting it happen because i stopped caring i guess. I dont know. I guess thats why i starved myself in high school bc it was "invisible" and not noticable l. I dont know. I feel so patjetic that i even think about it so often that i do. Like im 22 i should be getting a job and a partner not thinking of which spot on my wrist is most optimal to draw blood with a fucking dirty ass boxcutter that i sprayed a-sept on so if my mom notices it would be least suspicious.

God i cant keep up i cant keep up with life at all im not built for this life it feels like. Im so overwhelmed all the time and i feel disgusting and patjetic and annoying. I dont really care about the things i should i just pretend i care mostly. Thats an autism trait right. Lack of empathy. I feel empathy but sometimes it feels tjat im empathetic just because its right to ne, not tjat i actuallt care. Youd be surprised how little things i acrually care about. Im a little internet attentionwhore who cant kill herself nc her mom and besties would be sad. Im not fucking special for any of this im just pathetic and burnt out and dead on the inside. Im never going to get better am i. Im never going to be what i want to be. Whats the fucking point right. Whats the point of complaining if im not even going to do anything. i wont cut myself open like i want to because its useless and dangerous and doesnt fix anything anyway and i cant kill myself either so ill just complain om tumblr instead and describe in detail how ive cut myself before bc thats entertaining. I feel like im writing a deviantart vent journal

[ardienothesieno]

quietly raging while sitting on a crumbling leather couch. feeling sick. listening to hawaii part ii.

huge vent under cut

i just want to draw, man. i want you to leave me alone like i keep asking, i want privacy i want autonomy i dont want you looking over my shoulder policing my every move i can afford to fail a bit i just. i just want to be my own person to have hobbies to be able to talk to my friends to not be scared every time you walk by because you'll yell at me, force me into boxes and try to make my brain work in ways it doesnt know how to yet. you say you dont care about me being perfect but that you know *I* care so you care because I care but I keep trying to tell you I DONT care anymore. yeah being a perfect little person is *great* and everything but damn it theres too much shit that comes with it and im sick and tired of that shit and i keep trying to tell you that but you wont listen and every time I finally think you hear me that youre listening to what *I* want but then you do this again and you wonder why I dont trust you!! my god im not a kid anymore stop treating me like im about to shatter into a thousand pieces have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, I know myself better then you do now? that ive taken what ive learned from hiding myself in a mental box all my life and maybe, just maybe, hide in that box around you??? and every time. every time I think maybe I can come out of the box so I test the waters i peek my face out to see if it's safe but it never is and I have to go back. maybe I dont tell you everything anymore because why should I. you dont trust me so why should I trust you. maybe there's a reason I spend so much time hiding on the internet. maybe the people on here know me better then anyone out there has ever known me. what if I actually feel safe here what if it's the only place I feel like I can say the shit I want to because maybe people here care more then all of you out there, that maybe here people dont question me and try to fix everything for me and if I can't deal with a person well god damn it that's the whole reason there's a block button. I can't block people in real life. in real life there's maybe two people I would ever talk about this shit with and one if them i dont know well enough to feel comfortable with dumping this shit on them and the other has enough of their own crap going on i cant do that to her. but I feel like the people here are really actually my friends i feel like I can trust them i would kill for them theyre my FRIENDS. you seem to think that not knowing names or faces or every detail of someone's life invalidates any possibility of "friendship" but they understand me better then you do. better then anyone irl does. and yet you think that theyre not safe that im not safe because i call them friends THEYRE MY FUCKING FRIENDS. I feel safe here I don't feel safe out there with you trying to make me into something I'm not. here no one cares!! they either like me or don't like me or hate me but they don't EXPECT anything of me unless i tell them they can. unlike you. you expect something I can't both do and stay sane at the same time because "oh you've done it before you can do it now" THINGS HAVE CHANGED. I HAVE CHANGED.

stop fucking trying to make me into a perfect little human being. im not. im not perfect damn it LET ME BE AN IMPERFECT PERSON.

[finitevoid]

Turns put i might not even be able to hetavc because my teacher texted me this morning and was like lesson tomorrow :)? We will see.

Yeah thats right about stefan. Blasé referrals to teenage gun violence…. this is their LIFE. even ike ocassionally hears gunshots in brookline Ok gun violence is just regular to them. Its ok. Stefan can shoot up the school if he wants s. Sorry you cant relate to their lived experience. New lore: stefan shot someone when he was 14 and got away with it and he looks back at this experience fondly

also soren knows hes branded in this he figured it out at like age 13 on tumblr (he knew he was breaking site age rules by gettinga tumblr at 12). nobody really explains why theyre being mean to him they just do it it makes him kind of insane

soren lovessss hetalia yaoi. Almedha caught him drawing portspa yaoi and considered grounding him for the first time. He denies his fudanshi tendencies he will gaslight you about it avrually but do know he likes yaoi. Only toxic yaoi though he doesnt like fluff it makes him unreasonably mad. He doesnt like canon hetalia he only reads darkfics and historical hetalia and has his own detailed versions of the characters that are practically his ocs at that point. This is how he copes unfortunately

Ike is a weeb but for stuff like jjk and naruto. Shounen enjoyer. He and soren watch anime together a lot and surprisingly tend to agree with each on anime related things when they do it together. But they are different creatures on their own

Neither of them are huge on jrpgs because ike finds them boring and where is soren going to get a console. They play smash brawl together on greils (he insists its HIS) wii. Ike has to work and buy his own switch so they can play ultimate. Hes getting there. Greil wont accept money from soren for their switch fund so its all on ike to mow peoples lawns. for greil its about discipline. Ike can get a part time job if he wants but he needs to learn how to hustle. Soren suggests he start selling crack

Okie just let me know. My condolences about the lesso n change

Did stefan kill tje person he shot. Where did he get a gun. is it his parents’? does he bring it to school and hide it in his backpack like ehehe

That’s amazing. is portspa his main pairing. Does he see them as brothers or does he insist it’s not incest. Like he knows it’s toxic thays what he enjoys but is he coping . Does he like any other pairings. Usuk?

does Ike know about sorens yaoi obsession

greil insistijg it’s his wii is so funny actually. Is Ike not allowed to ontain money by traditional means or something. He has to babysit in order to understand labor

soren tries to give money to ike for the switch fund but Ike says no because it would be lying and going against the point of the exercise. Soren says greil is being insane but Ike has that shoujen protagonist look in his eyes and says something about responsibility

[flamboyant-king]

I’ve been hearing different kinds of art advice and I’m torn on them.

Should you go through and finish something even though it doesn’t look good and is flawed in many ways OR scrap the piece and do it a different way/abandon the idea altogether?

[delicourse]

Hi, I've got a few questions for you if you don't mind answering them

1. How long does it take you to draw a drawing digitally? Do you have any tips on drawing digitally faster?

2. How do you shade? It looks SO good and I'm in love with your artstyle and shading 🥺

3. Are you ever gonna make a webtoon?

Sorry for bothering you, hope you're healthy, and have a nice day/night 🥰💜

sorry for taking so long to answer these!! i really had to think abt the answer so it took a while! sorry if the first one ended up being an essay

1. it tends to vary depending on how well i have the artwork planned out! the thing that tends to take the longest for me is the decision-making parts (sketch and composition, base colors, and colors again once im almost done but going ��ok but...what if..”) and the rest(lineart, shading, details) is basically stuff that i can go on autopilot for. so if i already know what im gonna do and somehow stick to that, an artwork can take 3-6 hours depending on size! but most of the time it can take several days of having multiple artworks up at the same time, and making small changes in each at a time until im happy enough to move on lol. so its really hard to measure the time on those since i don’t really know if going back and forth between “lime green” and “turquoise green” for 2 days counts as me actually drawing. i also have a habit of always letting the artwork “rest” for a day inbetween steps where i dont look at it to make sure im not missing any obvious mistakes. (especially at the sketch and linework stage, if they look off the entire artwork will) looking at your art with a fresh eye is really important!

when it comes to speeding up the process i think simply drawing things often enough really is the way to go. its boring but to me the fast parts are only that bc ive done it so many times i dont have to think too much when doing it! (unless im trying something new, which i have been doing lately and oh wow we sure are Thinking in this house) also i see all my artworks as a very “step by step” routine, so i try to never go back once ive completed a step. it makes just moving forward easier. since i also have several artworks up at a time; theyre almost always at different steps in the process, so if i get stuck at or bored with say, lineart, i just go to another artwork where im doing final details and just have fun with that! it makes me feel like im always making progress somwhere. also dont be afraid to just redo something entirely if it looks off. save ur canvas and open a new one and start over, its usually way faster the second time and u keep ur previous mistakes in mind so overall? its faster than to keep adjusting the same parts of the artwork over and over and never really being happy with it, at least thats how it is for me! also also also; make your own brushes for things u already know how to draw but dont wanna do by hand 50 times over. like say, the diamonds in some of my works? theyre just a confetti esque brush with a bunch of diamonds i drew the outline of. then i color them in manually and do shinies and shades but i wont have to do linework for that at least, and its still in my “style” bc i drew them! (it also lessens the feeling of “cheating” that, i at least, tend to have at not doing everything manually) ....also get over the feeling that ur cheating when ur taking shortcuts. in this house we are Professionals who know what we are doing and there should be NO shame for achieving the same results more efficiently

2. ill post some images of my coloring process soon, i dont know if it explains things too well but it is an attempt hdhsbs

3. i cant write to save my life!! all i do is pretty drawings, which i love doing, but it would rule to someday work with others to create some form of comic or webtoon or just general story that i can illustrate!

[factual-fantasy]

yknow, ur allowed to have depression. you’re not attention seeking by thinking you have it. people who attention seek KNOW they don’t have it for sure. but if you think you might have it, that’s not attention seeking, it’s taking care of your mental health

I know.. I just.. I’m not convinced that I really have it.

I wont go into details, and I in no way wish to brag or make anyone feel bad about their lives in any way shape or form... But I have a lovely life. People literally will, and have killed to try and obtain a life like mine.

My family are like flawless and all loving beings compared to most families I hear about on the news, on Reddit, on Tumblr, on YouTube and so fourth. I am in probably the best and healthiest environment I could've ever imagined to grow up in. And because of that, I have absolutely no reason to be so sad.

Some people have horrible lives, a billion times worse than mine. Some people struggle every day to find food and clean water, meanwhile I’m here all “sad” because I’m most likely just being lazy. Although fair enough I have been cooped up in here for quite a while. About 5 years honestly, and Covid didn’t help to get me outside much.. I honestly believe that this is just a bad case of cabin fever really. Being mostly isolated for about 5 years and then having Covid slapped on top of that isn’t a good combo. I really appreciate the concern, I really do, but I just cant see myself as really having it. I think my darker moments are just my bad days to be honest..

And the reason why I think its attention seeking is because, although I am ashamed to admit it, a lot of the stuff I do is for attention. Most of the art I draw now a days is because I love all the responses and attention my art almost always gets when I post it. I do my best to not let this behavior leak into other aspects of my life but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like getting attention elsewhere. I feel like because I am shamefully someone who loves attention and care.. maybe my mind is trying to make me over exaggerate this cabin fever into a case of depression? I’m worried that’s the case and I absolutely do not want to let this attention seeking behavior go anywhere near that far.

I suppose its alright to do a chore here or there because I would like a “Wow! Great job!” or a, “Thank you so much for helping out! You’re awesome!”.

But I don’t EVER want to risk bumping this up to depression and then hooking onto the attention that would come with it. So for now, I plan to just ignore it until I can hopefully get a job. If I get a job and this blows over real fast, then cool. It was just cabin fever and I didn’t pretend it was depression for attention.

If I get a job and it stays, I have talked to family members and they said they’ll help me get set up with a therapist right away.

[littlenekosfan]

child prodigy

few weeks ago i made a piece (in 2 part) titled “i am the child prodigy” but i never actually went into details to what it implied. i wont go into details about my drawing bc they are better understood after what i will develop there, but i want to mention that the illustrations are referring to the aftermath of the FRIEND flashback event

what’s a child prodigy, its often define as a child (very young) having the “intelligence” of an adult, for the sake of the thread, reishi manipulation will count as a form of intelligence

i’ll start with bazz bc he’s the first who self proclaims as a genius for being able to form a crossbow at his age. even tho he’s self absorbed most of the time, he isnt wrong there, he is born blessed, talented, a prodigy and we confirm that by knowing this was their first encounter (bazz assumed jugo had friends even tho he doesnt and this was the first time he sees/talks to him since they dont live in the same village, i assume they were somehow close (their villages), so bazz couldnt have unconsciously profited to jugo’s ability to share and become a prodigy out of that, and also, bazz seems to know the kids in his village to be able to tell he was better than other kids)

later, yhwach says bazz was only good because jugo made him like that, which isnt true but not totally false either, his words here are terribly twisted and it infuriates me bc bazz nor jugo knew about that sharing power thing and given the current situation, it really feels like jugo was used and bazz was just profiting him, which isnt the case (as i mentionned earlier) but yhwach is very good at twisting words and convincing someone for his own interest... but i digress, you may be wondering how yhwach knows bazz is a genius to call him as such (the almighty only give him the ability to see a close future and forming a crossbow at his age is probably not that impressive now, so it’s not the almighty)

the answer is actually pretty obvious, bazz was the only one being able to raise his head among other adults when yhwach used his reishi to make them kneel (by the end of the chapter, he was able to get up which is really impressive knowing he had a hard time just to raise his head)

bazz is obviously proud of his talent, of his gift, and he isnt shy to show it, even if that would mean to put jugo down, but i woudnt call that pride, toxic.. its not wrong to be proud of what you are born with, to show it, but it did contribute to his loss (i know i said it before, but there are many factors to their breakup, pride wasnt part of them, ego was)

despite the prodigy he was, that gift left him all alone, with nothing... now he is lost somewhere in a forest where nobody will pick him up.. ever.. since nobody no longer remembers him

then we have jugo's case, he is also a child prodigy, just like bazz, being born with it, except, i dont think i can call it a blessing, its more of a curse in the quincy culture bc they are considered as failures (they actually kill kids like him) nobody sees it as a blessing, not even bazz nor jugo himself 

jugo became a prodigy when he joined yhwach, not because he was valued by an adult, an important figure, but bc he was taking an important place (we can tell with hubert and argola’s reaction) he was going to be yhwach’s advisor, that isnt nothing considering yhwach was already planning to invade the soul society by that time, and jugo is only a teen, he doesnt know anything about military stuff, but what was in his blood made him a prodigy in yhwach’s eyes

and jugo wont call himself a prodigy (and yeah, even after yhwach revealed to him his real powers, which are pretty scary if the circumstances were different), but he knows how he is one.. he cant take pride in it unlike bazz.., bc what did it give to him anyway? nothing (not even the recognition he craved so much)

just like bazz, their gift gave them nothing, in fact, it took everything away from them calling themselves a prodigy would be depersonifying themselves, that they are just reduced to their talent, one thought it would help him take his revenge which wont fill him with any accomplishment at the end, and the other thought it was finally a path given to him for a purpose in life, something good, only to end up stuck with it forever...

all what they needed was to recognize their friendship was more valuable and important than what was in their blood... 

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive