#i wont be able to take care of my loved ones if im tired i havent slept in like 3 days isnt that a bummer guys?

[naamahdarling]

Augh

[reallytallcat]

Guy holding cigarette guy looking tired holding cigarette guy looking hungover holding cigarette guy sitting on balcony looking tired guy

[leahrintarou]

hii i wanted to request like enemies to lovers for dabi x fem!reader when reader is one of the villains in league and she and dabi always hated each other, or more like they love each other but won't admit a shit. and also dabi is always this rude, snarky bitch and then one day they get send together for some mission and he gets injured, like somewhere in the chest and reader has to take care of him and patch him up. and like she decides to be a bitch now and she's like paying him back and she's not gentle at all like she's even rougher than needed just because 😆. but then in the middle of the night when she has to change his bandages she just softens because she's actually worried about him and he kisses her and it's like the first time he feels love in thousands years🥺❤️

✩₊˚.⋆ I HATE YOU - dabi/touya todoroki

CW: swearing, enemies to lovers, dabi being an asshole, y/n is stubborn, they lack communication skills but figure something out in the end lol, mentions of wound stitching, injuries, dabi's daddy issues, quirk usage, a lot of arguing. Word Count: 4.7k Author's Note: hii, sorry for taking so long to write this lol. my schedule was busy as hell. i hope you all enjoy it tho! ty for reading and if you have any requests for me to write, send it in!

"hate."

it was a word that held so much meaning and although y/n wasn't the type to feel it for many things, as she looked at the man standing in her doorframe with a bored expression as she laid in bed, it was all she could feel.

"what do you want touya? im tired." she groaned into her pillow. he rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets. "shigaraki wants us to take care of something for him." he said, making y/n shift to sit up and face him properly. "together?" she questioned. dabi didn't answer and that alone make y/n feel dread in the pit of her stomach. she stood, walking to her door and pushing past dabi to find shigaraki who was sitting in the lobby of their hideout.

"tomura, you seriously sending out touya and i? it's late."

"exactly." he muttered, glancing at y/n as dabi showed up behind her. "given your quirks, i need you two to cause a distraction for me in the city. I've gotta get something from a hero guarded area. it'd be less bothersome if a few of them had to focus a bigger situation."

y/n sighed at that. her ability allowed her to use the quirks others. once she makes physical contact with them, a pill is produced and once ingested, she is able to use their quirk for up to half an hour. "why can't he just do it on his own?"

"because it wont be enough, y/n. just go and don't let you guys' odd relationship fuck anything up."

she glared at shigaraki due to his stern tone and the words he said overall. she didn't speak another words and only walked towards the exit, leaving dabi behind. she began walking off, sighing when dabi caught up next to her.

they walked shoulder to shoulder and y/n reached for his hand to which he pulled away imeedietly. "the fuck is your deal?"

"my deal is that i need your quick. stop bitching."

he gave her a look that almost burned through her being itself. "fine, whatever. just make it quick."

with a swift movement, y/n grabbed his wrist, her fingers just brushing against his skin. she felt the pill form in her palm and quickly swallowed it after placing it on her tongue. for the next thirty minutes, she had full control over dabi's blue flames.

dabi shook off her touch as soon as the transfer was done, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "hope you can handle it."

y/n clenched her fists, feeling the raw power simmering just beneath the surface. "i can handle your little fire tricks just fine."

they continued walking in silence, the tension between them thick, both preparing for the chaos they were about to unleash. the city lights ahead glowed brighter as they approached, a signal that they were nearing their destination. heroes patrolled these streets regularly, and they needed to make their distraction count.

"you take the east side. i’ll take the west. we meet back here once it's done," y/n said, her voice steady despite the adrenaline starting to pump through her veins.

dabi gave her a lazy nod, his eyes scanning the area.  "don’t burn the place down too fast." she said, voice sharp with a stern tone.

“take your own damn advice,” dabi sneered, turning on his heel without another glance, heading toward his side of the city.

y/n scowled at his retreating figure before focusing on her own task. she approached a crowded intersection, raising her hand as the blue flames sparked to life at her fingertips. they burned cold, unnatural, just like dabi’s. with a sharp flick of her wrist, she sent the fire roaring down the street, igniting everything in its path. cars exploded, storefronts erupted into flames, and terrified screams echoed through the night air.

sirens blared almost immediately. she sighed in frustration. this mission wasn’t the problem; it was having to work alongside dabi. she hated the way his flames felt inside her—too raw, too unstable. she could handle it, but the discomfort gnawed at her.

on the other side of the city, she could see dabi causing just as much destruction. his blue flames lit up the night sky, and even from a distance, she could feel their heat. as much as she despised him, she couldn’t deny the sheer force of his quirk. their fires painted the city in an eerie blue glow, chaos unfolding just as shigaraki had planned. every hero in the area would soon be rushing their way.

but despite the destruction, y/n could feel the strain. her body wasn’t built to handle dabi’s flames for too long, and each second was like a slow burn from the inside out. she clenched her teeth, refusing to show any weakness. not in front of him. never in front of him.

as another car exploded in front of her, y/n felt the flames flare uncontrollably for a moment, forcing her to stumble back. she quickly reined them in, but the effort was draining. she could hear the distant thrum of footsteps—heroes were coming, and they needed to keep the distraction going.

without warning, dabi appeared beside her, his usual bored expression replaced by a smirk that only fueled her irritation. "you’re pushing it too hard," he remarked coldly.

"i’m fine," y/n snapped, her voice sharper than intended, though there was a slight tremor beneath it.

he cocked an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "doesn’t look like it. you’re burning out."

"i said i’m fine," she repeated, venom in her tone. she forced the flames to obey her, though her body screamed in protest.

before he could say anything more, the ground around them rumbled. the heat in the air intensified, and y/n’s heart sank as she saw who had arrived—endeavor.

out of all the heroes, of course, it had to be him.

endeavor’s flames blazed brighter than anything y/n had seen, casting long shadows across the wreckage. his eyes locked onto dabi and y/n, sharp with recognition and disgust. “enough,” he barked, his voice deep and commanding. “this ends now.”

dabi’s expression darkened, but the smirk that stretched across his face was nothing short of malicious.

y/n swallowed, the tension between father and son palpable in the air. she could feel dabi’s flames still swirling inside her, unstable and dangerous. they were running out of time. they needed to keep endeavor distracted long enough for shigaraki to finish the mission, but with the fire slipping out of her control, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on.

dabi moved forward, the flames on his body flickering angrily as he faced his father head-on. "you gonna try and stop me? i’d love to see you fail. again."

y/n watched as the two squared off, the heat between them almost unbearable. she could feel the pressure mounting, knowing she had to act fast, but part of her was consumed by the sheer hatred radiating from dabi. it was so intense it was suffocating. he wants this fight, she realized.

but right now, they couldn’t afford it. not with the mission still in play.

"touya, focus," she hissed under her breath, stepping up beside him. "we’re not here for this."

he barely spared her a glance, his jaw clenched. “shut up, y/n. stay out of it.”

y/n glared at him, biting back the retort that bubbled in her throat. as much as she despised him, she wasn’t about to let him throw the entire mission away for some personal grudge.

endeavor’s flames flared even brighter, his voice booming as he addressed dabi directly. "you’re not walking away from this one."

"we’ll see about that," dabi said through a sigh.

before either of them could make a move, y/n raised her hand, sending up a barrier of blue flames between dabi and endeavor. the fire crackled wildly, the heat forcing both men to step back.

“touya, get your shit together,” she snapped, glaring at him. “this isn’t about you and him right now. we’ve got a job to finish.”

dabi’s eyes widened with fury, his body rigid with anger. "are you serious right now? stay out of this, y/n. this has nothing to do with you."

“it has everything to do with me,” she shot back, her voice low. “if you screw this up, we’re both dead.”

“i’m not screwing anything up,” dabi growled, stepping toward her, his flames flaring dangerously. “you think I’m gonna pass up a chance to burn that bastard?” he gestured toward endeavor, who stood on the other side of the wall, watching them closely. "this isn’t just about some stupid distraction. it’s him."

y/n’s hands trembled slightly from the strain of maintaining the flames, but she refused to back down. “you think i care about your daddy issues right now? i’m not dying because you’ve got something to prove.”

dabi’s smirk twisted into a sneer, his voice dripping with venom. "oh, now you’re concerned about dying? cute. you can’t even handle my flames, and you want to play hero? don’t act like you can lecture me."

y/n’s temper flared. "i can handle more than you think, but i’m not stupid enough to throw everything away for some pointless grudge! shigaraki will kill us if you mess this up."

“i don’t care what shigaraki does,” dabi snarled, stepping even closer, his body practically vibrating with heat. “you think I’m afraid of him? of you? you’re out of your league, y/n. stay the hell out of my way.”

---

"touya, lets go!" she shouted. a few long minutes had passed by and both dabi and endeavor suffered injuries. y/n thought that it was just her eyes playing tricks on her, but it wasn’t. there on dabi’s chest was a large gash that spilled blood with every movement he made.

dabi didn’t even flinch, seemingly blinded by his rage. his eyes were locked onto endeavor, and the hatred burned hotter than the flames between them. y/n’s heart pounded in her chest. if they didn’t leave now, it would be too late.

“touya!” she screamed again, but her voice was lost in the roar of the fire and the madness of the fight. dabi was deaf to everything around him. his focus, his obsession with his father, drowned out any reason or sense.

just then, her phone buzzed in her pocket. she fumbled for it, hands shaking, and saw a message from

shigaraki: get out of there now. i’m done here.

her stomach dropped. they needed to leave. now.

she looked back at dabi, her gut twisting with panic. there was no way he could handle another attack in his state. endeavor was gearing up for something big—his flames surging brighter and hotter, ready to end this once and for all.

y/n didn’t even think; she reacted. she reached for dabi’s flames still coursing through her and launched herself forward. her body screamed in protest, the quirk tearing through her reserves, but she unleashed a massive wave of blue fire directly at endeavor. it wasn’t just dabi’s quirk she was using—she’d stored another teleportation quirk earlier in the week just in case. with a strained breath, she activated it.

in an instant, the world blurred, and she and dabi were pulled through space, landing back at the league’s hideout.

they collapsed on the floor. y/n's vision swam as the overwhelming strain of using both quirks at once hit her like a truck. every muscle in her body felt like it was on fire.

dabi was up almost immediately, his eyes wild and furious. “what the hell did you do?!” he roared, looming over her, his chest heaving.

y/n didn’t flinch, didn’t even respond. she just sat there, catching her breath, her eyes glazed with exhaustion and a cold, blank expression on her face.

“why the hell would you—” dabi continued, his voice a mix of anger and something else, something more vulnerable. but y/n didn’t care.

she stood, her legs shaking but her face expressionless. she looked him dead in the eye, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with a venomous calm. "hate."

dabi paused, caught off guard by the single word. his eyes narrowed, but he stayed silent.

“it’s what you live for, isn’t it?” she continued, her voice as cold as the flames she had just wielded. “but it’s going to kill you. and you were too blinded to see it.”

the silence between them was suffocating, tension hanging in the air like the weight of all their unresolved fury and pain. dabi’s lips twisted into a bitter sneer, but he didn’t respond. he couldn’t, not with the truth staring him in the face.

y/n finally turned her back to him, her voice distant as she walked away. "i’m tired, touya. i don’t care anymore."

he didn’t respond and that was unlike him. and although she didn't want it to, she turned around to glance at him. he was clutching the wounded area of his chest, the blood coating his hands. y/n stopped in her tracks and watched as he held her gaze with a heavy glare. "what?" he groaned with less heat in his voice.

"nothi-"

"they got you good." shigaraki said as he entered through the front door. dabi remained silent and y/n let out a sigh. "told you this plan was stupid." she muttered. shigaraki shrugged, holding up some sort of vile in a glass tube. "got what i needed though. thanks."

y/n shook her head and walked over to a table in their hideout where a first aid kit remained. "come on, touya." he never said a word despite their previous argument and the heated tension that remained between them and only followed behind y/n. this was surprising to her and even shigaraki. instead of questioning it though, she just decided to let it be, grateful for the silence.

they got to a nearby bathroom in the hideout, and y/n motioned for dabi to sit on the edge of the sink. "take off your shirt," she ordered, her voice flat, though she couldn’t help the slight irritation lacing her tone. dabi raised an eyebrow but said nothing, peeling off his tattered shirt to reveal the nasty gash on his chest. the wound was deep, the blood still seeping through the cracks of his burned skin.

“so fucking reckless” y/n muttered underneath her breath as she grabbed some antiseptic and gauze from the first aid kit. she didn’t wait for a response before starting to clean the wound, her hands rougher than necessary. dabi hissed in pain but didn’t pull away.

“watch it,” he growled, but there was no real heat in his words. his eyes, usually filled with spite or disinterest, softened for a brief moment as he looked at her. something shifted in his expression, like an apology he wasn’t quite ready to say aloud. instead, he settled for his usual sarcasm. "you don’t have to be so damn rough."

"oh, i’m sorry," y/n replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she pressed a little harder than needed on the wound. "is the fireproof bastard too delicate for a little first aid? if you didn’t want to get patched up, you shouldn’t have gone toe-to-toe with endeavor.

"i didn’t ask for your help, did i?"

"no, you didn’t. but here we are," y/n snapped, stitching up the wound with more force than was probably necessary. her fingers worked quickly, efficiently, but there was no gentleness in her touch.

dabi’s breath hitched as she tugged at the stitches. "you’re enjoying this way too much."

“maybe,” y/n replied, not looking up from her work. “or maybe i’m just pissed off because you almost got yourself killed. again.”

the room fell into a tense silence, only broken by dabi’s sharp breaths and the sound of her sewing needle pulling through his skin. but when y/n finally looked up, she caught dabi’s gaze. his eyes were softer now, not filled with the usual defiance. instead, there was something different in them, something almost… regretful.

“what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. "you’re staring."

“nothing,” dabi muttered, but he didn’t look away. his voice, usually laced with sarcasm or anger, was quieter now. he held her gaze for a moment longer. it wasn’t filled with the usual hate or resentment, but something else entirely. it almost looked like an apology, unspoken but there. maybe he realized just how close he’d come to death, and for once, wasn’t pushing her away.

after the final stitch, y/n wrapped the wound tightly, her hands no longer rough but steady. she didn’t say anything for a moment, just focusing on her work, and when she was done, she stood back, her eyes meeting his again. the air between them felt heavy, like there was something unspoken lingering just beneath the surface.

“you’re a reckless idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head, though her voice was softer, the anger dissipating into something more resigned.

dabi’s expression faltered, and for a moment, he just looked at her, his usual sharp retorts gone. "guess i am," he said quietly, a hint of exhaustion in his voice. "but you still patched me up, didn’t you?"

y/n crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "only because i wasn’t going to let you bleed out like an idiot. someone’s gotta keep you alive."

there was a beat of silence before dabi let out a breath, leaning his head back against the wall. “guess i should thank you.”

y/n scoffed. “don’t bother. just… try not to get yourself killed next time.”

dabi’s eyes flickered to hers again, and this time, there was no sarcasm or sneer, just a tired acceptance. “i’ll try.” his tone was surprisingly sincere, catching her off guard. she blinked, taken aback, but instead of saying anything, she just grabbed the bloodied cloths and turned to leave. "get some rest," she muttered, not looking back.

for once, dabi didn’t argue.

---

it was the middle of the night, and despite the quiet that had settled over the hideout, y/n couldn’t sleep. no matter how many times she turned over in bed, sleep evaded her. the events from earlier kept playing over in her mind, along with the way dabi had been uncharacteristically silent after she patched him up.

with a frustrated sigh, she finally gave up on resting and pushed herself out of bed. maybe checking on dabi would settle her thoughts. his injuries needed to be looked at again anyway, and the bandages likely needed changing. she grabbed the first aid kit and padded softly down the hall toward his room.

when she got there, the door was slightly ajar. peeking inside, she saw him lying on the bed, his defined back rising and falling with the steady rhythm of sleep. for a moment, she hesitated. dabi was never one to sleep deeply, always waking up at the slightest noise or movement. but his bandages had to be changed, and she didn’t trust him to do it himself.

quietly, she slipped into the room, closing the door softly behind her. she approached the bed, taking a seat on the edge as carefully as she could to avoid waking him. he was still, his usual guarded expression replaced by something softer in sleep. for a brief second, she allowed herself to just watch him. he always seemed so hardened, so untouchable, but like this... he looked almost human.

gently, y/n reached for the blood-stained bandages wrapped around his chest, her fingers working carefully to undo them. she peeled the old wrappings away, revealing the wound beneath. she grabbed fresh bandages from the kit, preparing to rewrap him, her movements slow and deliberate.

just as she began to wind the bandage around him again, dabi stirred. his eyes snapped open, instantly alert, and his hand shot out to grab her wrist before she could move any further. “what the hell are you doing?” he growled, his voice low and raspy from sleep.

y/n froze, meeting his gaze, her heart skipping a beat. "relax, it’s just me," she said quietly. "im checking to see if your stitches held and I've gotta change your bandages."

he blinked, still groggy but releasing her wrist. his grip loosened, and he leaned back against the pillow, eyes narrowing slightly but without the usual hostility. "im not a child. i can do that myself,” he muttered, though there wasn’t much bite to his words.

"i know, but you looked like you were going to bleed out earlier so forgive me for double-checking." she retorted, continuing to wrap the fresh bandages around his chest. her touch was gentle but firm, and dabi didn’t stop her this time, watching her work in silence.

"always playing the martyr, huh?" he mumbled after a long pause, his voice quieter now. "not a martyr. just realistic. you're reckless and you know it."

dabi was silent as she finished up. he sat up once she was done and watched as she placed the items back into the first aid kit. "why are you up so late anyways?"

"couldn’t sleep." she shrugged. dabi raised a questioning brow and she shrugged. "you expect me to sleep after everything that happened today?"

"causing chaos isn't something that you haven't done before though." he hummed, watching as she compiled all of the used bandage together to throw away. "but watching you almost get yourself killed was."

"you really care that much?"

y/n lowered her eyes at him and shook her head in pure disbelief. "no shit, touya. why would i have teleported us home? stitch up your wound, and even hours later, i come back to check on you. you sound so fucking selfish right now." she stood up, turning to walk away, but dabi reached for her wrist.

he caught it just in time, letting out a small groan from the swift movement. "what the fuck, touya. be careful." she said, placing the first aid kit down and a hand to his back. "im not selfish."

"really?" she deadpanned. "y/n, you've hated me ever since i joined the league. understand me when i get confused on whether or not you actually give a fuck when it comes to me." he ran is palm down his face, trying to fight his exhaustion.

"i can say the same for you." y/n spoke.

"i only return the attitude that's given to me." dabi said, staring at y/n as she tried to read his features but he gave her nothing to work with other than an emotionless expression. "i don't hate you."

"so what do you feel, y/n? you're not making sense."

she stared at him and they held eye contact. y/n let down whatever guards she had up in hopes that dabi can read what she was trying to tell him. he was good at that whether she liked it or not. "say it." he finally said. y/n figured that he got the idea in just mere seconds.

"no." she shook her head with a scoff. "i hate the fact that i feel it for you anyways. I'm not going to speak it into reality."

dabi’s grip on y/n’s wrist loosened as he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “you really think not saying it makes a difference? you’ve already given yourself away, y/n.”

y/n’s eyes flashed with irritation. “you don’t get it. saying it makes it real, and i can’t deal with that right now.”

dabi scoffed, leaning back on the bed, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at her. “oh, spare me the drama. you think i don’t know how you feel? you act like you’re the only one here who’s conflicted.”

y/n glared at him, yanking her wrist free. “conflicted? you? you barely even acknowledge when people care about you. you’re reckless with your life, like nothing matters, and you think i’m the one being dramatic?” her voice rose, frustration bubbling over.

dabi sat up straighter, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “don’t pretend like you’ve been so open about your feelings either, y/n. you’ve spent most of your time pushing me away or acting like you couldn’t care less. and now, when it actually matters, you wanna play the martyr?”

her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “i’m not playing anything, touya! you’re impossible to deal with. you push everyone away, you never let anyone in, and now you have the nerve to act like i’m the problem?”

dabi’s expression hardened, his eyes flashing with anger. “you really think you’ve got me all figured out, huh? like you’re the only one who’s allowed to have their guard up? newsflash, y/n, you’re not as mysterious as you think.”

y/n’s frustration boiled over as she crossed her arms and shot him a withering glare. “then what do you want from me, touya? huh? what is it you actually want? because all you ever do is act like nothing gets to you!”

dabi stood up abruptly, towering over her as the tension between them thickened. “you think it’s easy for me to be like this? you think i enjoy pushing people away?” his voice was low, dangerous, his eyes blazing with a mix of frustration and something else y/n couldn’t quite place.

her heart pounded in her chest, but she refused to back down. “then stop doing it! stop acting like you don’t care about anyone or anything!”

“i care more than you think!” dabi snapped, taking a step closer. “but you—you’re always so busy pretending you don’t want this, like it’s all some burden for you!”

y/n’s pulse quickened, her frustration and confusion mounting. “i never said i didn’t want—”

before she could finish, dabi’s hands shot up to either side of her face, pulling her in roughly. his lips crashed against hers with a sudden, fierce intensity that stole the breath from her lungs. the kiss was aggressive, meant to shut her up, and y/n’s mind went blank as every thought evaporated under the force of it.

her body reacted before she could process what was happening, her hands gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer even as her heart raced with the shock of it all.

dabi’s lips moved against hers, demanding and relentless, and she found herself kissing him back just as fiercely, pouring all her pent-up anger and frustration into the kiss. it was heated, messy, and full of everything they couldn’t say out loud.

he pulled back for a brief moment, their breaths mingling as he muttered, “you talk too damn much.”

before she could respond, he kissed her again, cutting off any retort she might’ve had. his hands slid from her face to her waist, gripping her tightly as if he couldn’t stand to let her go. the anger between them melted into something else entirely—something raw and consuming.

y/n’s heart hammered in her chest as she kissed him back, her hands finding their way to his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. the argument, the tension, all of it faded into the background as they lost themselves in the intensity of the moment.

when they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. dabi’s grip on her waist remained firm as he stared down at her, his expression softening just slightly.

“maybe i don’t want you to shut up,” he muttered, his voice low and rough, “but you make it hard to think.”

y/n’s lips parted, still swollen from the kiss, her breath coming in shallow bursts. “then maybe you should start listening,” she whispered, her voice shaky but steady.

dabi let out a low chuckle, his thumb brushing lightly against her hip. “yeah, maybe.” his voice dropped even lower as he added, “but that doesn’t mean i’m done shutting you up.”

with that, he pulled her back into another kiss, this one slower but no less intense, as if he was determined to make sure she knew exactly how he felt, even if neither of them were ready to say the words just yet.

she pulled back for a breath, her forehead meeting with his shoulder as she closed her eyes.

"i hate you, touya."

"then hate me more."

got a request? send it in and i'll write it :D

Taglist: @nemoo888 @delicatexmoonchild @flowerpjimin @tedcruzumakii @sugacor3 @selysixn @mitsuyas-version @matchaismylove @cyberrthegreat @ivydoesit23 @riririntaro @ilovechickfilasauce @sincerelyzee @daydreamteardrop @satorusluvrgirl @tired-jaz

[ppnuggiex]

HIHII i see yoy dont have obey me content yet,, want me 2 change that😼😼 HOPE IM NOT DISTURBING U OR ANUTHINGF AND ALSO HOPE URE HAVING A NICE SUMMERR

but anywayy could i req hcs(and maybe a small scenario🙇‍♀️) of solomon and simeon(MAYBE DIAVOLO AND BARBATOS IF U WONT MIND,, IDM IF U DONT THO HUHU) with an insomniac/sleepy s/o that accidentally slept over at their place😻 IM SORRY IF U DONT UNDERSTAND,, BUT AS IN THEY WERE INVITED TO THEIR ROOM BUT COULDNT HOLD BACK FROM SLEEPING SINCE THEY HAVENT SLEPT😞😞

sorrei 4 making this so long,,im chatty asf for an introvert omg😭😭 BUT YEYESY THAT'S ALL🤍🤍 LOVE UR WORK VHAI VHAI🙇‍♀️

　　　　　　OBEY ME x gn reader

　　　　『　solomon ,, simeon ,, diavolo ,, barbatos ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> side characters w/ sleepy or insomniac s/o

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort

　　— HIII OMG TYSM ♥️♥️♥️ glad to have my first obey me ask :) i am having a great summer 💪💪 though i start school next week 😭😭 so not too happy about that ,, tysm for requesting though :D i did all of them 😈😈 and its alr !! no worries abt being chatty 😝 i dont mind it one bit !! heres the request tho :) hope you enjoy <3

- solomon

| • he knows how the brothers run you ragged ,, and so he doesnt mind if you happen to fall asleep whilst staying over with him

| • if anything ,, it gives him an excuse to stay with you longer ,, stealing a few extra hours ,, and if one of the brothers do call he can say youre asleep

| • solomon did call you over so he can teach you more about a certain spell you had questions about

| • he'd pick you up from where you had fallen asleep and take you to his room ,, placing you under the covers so you'd be comfortable and warm at least

| • he'll place a kiss to your head and then go to the kitchen and make you something ,, until simeon stops him

- simeon

| • he wouldnt mind one bit if you happened to fall asleep ,, hes thankful for it really ,, since he knows how hard you work and how little time you get to yourself

| • he just wants you to be happy and healthy ,, and being well rested goes with that

| • simeon would make sure that youre comfortable ,, put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

| • whilst your sleeping he makes you a little snack for you when you wake up ,, so you can have something to enjoy and refill your energy with

- diavolo

| • he had finally gotten some free time with his tight schedule and didnt waste a moment before he invited you over to watch some movies from the human world he's been interested in watching

| • barbatos helped to make popcorn and other snacks for you both ,, and even gave diavolo a quick tutorial how to use the remote and the tv 💀💀

| • diavolo isnt too upset that you fell asleep halfway through the movie though ,, hes mostly upset you havent been able to take care of yourself and in result its made you lose sleep

| • he keeps you under the cover and all cuddle up though ,, pressing many kisses to your head as he finishes up the movie

| • he might also nap with you when he gets a little too cozy

- barbatos

| • he already knew how tired you were before he invited you over ,, really it was the whole reason he did

| • having a little free time to himself for a bit ,, after finishing his duties for the hour that is ,, he invited you over with the intention of you sleeping

| • he made a special tea blend that increases melatonin and is meant to put people to sleep or make them drowsy ,, really just in general help them sleep

| • he'll coax you over to his bed and let you sleep whilst he finishes his duties for the upcoming hour

| • barbatos also has a few treats left out for you on the bedside table ,, with a spotch of tea to help awaken you and restore your energy

[cupoftaae]

Growing Pains (KTH drabble)

Summary- You and Taehyung discover the struggles of parenthood as you take on the task of raising your 3 month old daughter, Kiyomi.

Warnings- mentions of postpartum struggles and attachment issues

word count- 1.6k

A/N- Hi guys! so after Ladybug got so much love I decided to make a another drabble to continue their storyline, this takes place months after their daughter is born. Hope you enjoy it!

Taehyung woke up to the sounds of crying. He sat up and looked over at his clock, it was 4:32am, and you werent in the bed.

Groaning, he pushed the covers back and began walking down the hall into his daughters room, finding you on the floor with her in your arms.

"Im sorry we woke you, go back to bed" you whisper, noticing the sudden appearance of your husband in the room. "are you guys alright?" he asked, ignoring your previous demand as he walked further in and sat next to you, eyes still sleepy from the abrupt awakening.

You sigh and gently rock the small baby in your arms as she wailed, becoming frustrated yourself. "she wont stop" you exhale, finally looking at taehyung. "maybe shes hungry?" he suggested, moving his hand to wipe away his baby's tears.

"She wont latch...so I dont think she is...I also changed her and put her in a lighter onesie incase she was too hot" you gesture to the new outfit on Kiyomi, of course taehyung smiled at the ladybug printed fabric.

"let me see her" he whispered, gently taking the frail 3 month old out of your arms. "Hi baby, you giving mommy a hard time again?" he kissed all over her face before pulling her against him, her tiny head resting on his shoulder as his hand rubbed her back.

"im so tired" your hands run over the front of your face, knowing you return to work tomorrow afternoon and not only would you be exhausted, you would be missing your baby.

Since Kiyomi was born, youve been home every single day making sure she was taken care of, of course Taehyung has been an excellent help as well, and you probably wouldnt have been able to do this without him, yet at the same time you couldnt express your fears of going back to work after maternity leave....you didnt want to let him down or make him feel like you didnt trust him. It wasnt ever about trust, it was about going hours and hours without being able to make sure your daughter was okay. What happens if she needs mommy? What happens if she starts to cry and he cant differentiate it from a hunger cry, dirty diaper cry, or a tired cry?

"go back to sleep, i'll take care of her" he yawned and stood up, one hand reaching down to help you to your feet.

"I cant sleep" you sigh, walking over to rearrange her crib and the blankets. "cant we just keep her in our room tonight? she can sleep in our bed" you finish.

Taehyung gently rocked her around as he paced the room, the small cries slowing down. "baby I thought we agreed its better for her to be in her own room, she is gonna be too dependant on us.....and why cant you sleep? you just said you were tired-"

"because I have a list of things I need to do Taehyung!" you turn around, "I have to pump because she didnt want to eat, and I need to make sure you have enough milk for tomorrow, plus extra just incase, and then I need to put my work clothes in the washer because I forgot, then dry them, and you know what?" you throw your hands up as you walked over and took your daughter "shes only 3 months old, theres no harm in having her in our bed, who cares! she wont even remember anyways" you scoff and walk out of the room.

You didnt mean to snap on him like that, in fact you felt bad as soon as you left her bedroom. Taehyung is a great dad and an even better husband, but you still found yourself unable to stay calm when the list of things piled on, you didnt know how everything was going to go tomorrow, and you were stressed.

"hey...Im sorry if I said anything to upset you" he whispered as he finally walked into your shared bedroom, his daughter now asleep on the comforter as you sat and tried to pump milk.

sighing, you turn to look at him. "I didnt mean to act like that...you didnt do anything wrong, im just on edge"

He slowly walked over and sat on the bed next to you, careful of the sleeping baby in front of him. "whats going on, sweetheart?"

You didnt respond right away, instead you shrugged and looked down at Kiyomi, feeling those stupid tears resurface to your eyes again. "talk to me angel..." he rubbed your back.

"I dont want to leave her" you spoke in a choked whisper, wiping your cheek quickly. "What do you mean?" he calmly responded.

"Work tomorrow, I dont want to go....I havent been away from her since she was born. Ive had 3 months but im not ready." you take a breath, gathering your thoughts. "I went to the supermarket yesterday to buy dinner by myself, and almost had a panic attack because I realized she wasnt with me"

"my love, its okay to feel like this you know?" he rubbed your back softly, his chest tightening upon hearing your struggles. "sounds like you might be experiencing some separation anxiety,"

"I wanna work from home" you protest, shaking your head. "I cant leave her, and Its not about you not being a good parent- because you are so good, probably better than me" you chuckle lightly, "I just need it for myself....I need to see her. I spent 9 months taking care of her, I knew where she was at all times, and now that shes actually here I get so worried something will happen"

"i know sweetheart, I know" his hand ran through your hair as you spoke, "If you really want to look for a job that allows you to work from home, i'll support you all the way, you know that....but I really think its important to go tomorrow at least, to tell them about whats going on"

You leaned against your husband, glad he was supporting you in such a vulnerable moment. "why cant I just call them tomorrow?" you sniffle

"because I think its good to just go in, the smaller steps you take, even if its just a day, will probably make things easier for you."

"mm....just tomorrow?" you look at him

"Just tomorrow, then you dont ever have to see that place if you dont want to, you can stay home and i'll pamper you both"

You giggled and shook your head, "no, I wanna work....just not outside the house"

"and I support that" he gently lifted your chin so he could kiss you.

You smiled and kissed him back, watching him carefully as you pulled away.

"You are so beautiful, I swear motherhood made you even more attractive than you already were" he grinned

you raised an eyebrow, looking down at yourself before looking at him, "are you kidding me? I have a suction cup attached to my tit right now, and my hair needs to be washed....dont even try to say I look good" you shook your head as you noticed the bottle was full, taking off the pump and pulling your shirt down as you crewed the cap on.

"Ah you dont see yourself how I see you, the fact you go through so much for our baby is what is beautiful to me, and just for the record, you could never shower again and i'd buy all the nose plugs in the world just so I could be near you and call you cute"

"shut uppppp" you whine and lean against the pillow, "thanks though....fatherhood looks good on you"

"now thank you, but we both can tell that its not physically" he laughed and stood, putting his hands on his belly. "sympathy weight" he patted his stomach, making you laugh.

"Hey, I didnt do that to you!" you retort

"Yes! you insisted that I eat with you every time you had a craving, and what did I do?"

"ate with me" you smile

"yeah, except you were eating and it went to the baby" he chuckled, "mine went to my stomach area"

"hey I think dad bods are sexy" you nudge him

he rolled his eyes jokingly and wrapped you in his embrace, both of you looking down at your finally sleeping daughter.

"next kid, you deal with those cravings alone" he teased, hand gently squeezing you closer.

You smiled brightly at his words, you couldnt handle another child right now, especially with your current mental state, but you knew in the next 3 years you would enjoy having a second baby.

"thats not gonna be for a while bubs, relax" you patted his thigh

"what if she gets lonely" he looks at you

"are you serious" you laugh, squishing his face "shes 3 months, plus she has us, and tannie. I promise she will be well entertained until we have another kid"

He huffed and slouched down, making you giggle.

He sat up and grabbed his phone, turning the video on as he began filming his sleeping baby. "I havent recorded anything in a bit, well thats a lie, I recorded her yesterday when I was playing airplane and she ended up puking on me"

Your giggles are heard off camera before he faces it towards you "Oh its funny huh?"

"shh, youre gonna wake her" you quickly cover the camera to hide yourself before he continues to ramble on about your baby. He's been doing this since that day you both found out you were expecting Kiyomi, and it still warms your heart to see a man so in love with his creation of life.

He was your rock, and she was your ladybug, and perhaps you would be okay after all.

[the-offside-rule]

Eric Garcia (FCBarcelona) - Chaos

Requested: yes

Prompt: Singing a lullaby

Baby Promptlist

It had been a whirlwind few months for Y/n and Eric Garcia. The birth of their daughter, Sofia, had been a beautiful moment, but the sleepless nights, constant feedings, and never-ending diaper changes had left Y/n running on fumes. "You okay?" Eric asked as Y/n groggily sat down at the litchen table. "Yeah." She mumbled. "Im just-" She paused, looking over at her boyfriend. "Look at me. I ust don't feel like I'm dping this right. It's feels like Im not doing anything right for Sofia, not to mention I have a breakout and no amount of cleanser or toner is fixing it." She rested her head on the table. "Nothing is working." Eric hated seeing her like this. She had been nothing short of incredible since Sofia was born, getting up most nights to tend to her, caring for her whilst Eric was away at training or matches. To him, she was almost like a superhero wifh everything she was doing.

"You need a spa day." Eric said, stroking his fingers through her hair. "Just you and your friend, no distractions, no responsibilities for a few hours." Y/n looked up and smiled, though her tired eyes betrayed her. "That sounds amazing, but are you sure you can handle everything with Sofia by yourself?" Eric puffed his chest out, feigning confidence. "Of course! It's just one day. How hard can it be?"

"Please don't say that. Those are famous last words." Eric stood up. "Come on, amor. I can do it. Besides, it would be nice to spend some time with her beflre the champions league starts up. I wont be seeing you both for days at a time flr some lf the games." Y/n sighed. The spa day sounded great, but she pondered pn whether or nlt Eric would be good at all this. The diaper changing, the baby feeding, all of it. "Okay, okay, fine. I'll go." Eric grinned, kissing the top of her head. "You deserve it."

A few days later, Y/n stood at the front door of their house walking Eric through everything. "If she gets hungry, I left some milk so all you really need tl do is prepare it. If she starts crying, walk around with her for a bit, that usually works. Any other problems call me." Eric chuckled. "I will not be calling you on your day off. This is a daddy-daughter day." Y/n smiled uneasily. "Y/n, I can do this." He reassured her. "You’re right. You can do it. But just, if there is a problem, you know-"

"Amor." Y/n sighed, kissing her daughter then turning to kiss her boyfriend. "I love you." He smiled. "I love you too. Ill see you later!" As Y/n and her friend drove off, Eric stood in the doorway holding Sofia, waving them goodbye. "We've got this, right Sof?" He whispered to his daughter, who looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes. For the first hour, everything was smooth. Eric fed Sofia a bottle, changed her diaper, and even managed to get her to fall asleep. He plopped down on the couch, proud of himself. "Easy peasy." He muttered, grabbing his phone to message some of the guys. They begged him to join them in playing Fifa, but he said no. He couldn't, not whilst he was meant to be takong care of Sofia. He instead, prompted himself to call Frenkie. "Eric." The dutchman said. "What do you do when Mikkey is away and you have to take care of the baby by yourself?" Eric asked. "Hello to you too." Frenkie laughed. "Why? Is Y/n gone shopping?"

"No, no. I sent her and her friend on a Spa day. I thought she needed it." Eric replied. "She trusted you with a baby for that long?" Frenkie joked. "You're hilarious, but seriously. What do you do?"

"Well, right now Miles is just on some sort of playmat Mikkey picked up for him back home. He likes that but I dont think Sofia is able to dp that yet." Eric's brows furrowed. "Why?" He asked. "You dont have a playmat, do you? Anyway, when Miles was that little, I kind of just let him lie on my chest or just let him sleep. They need to sleep as much as possible. Plus, its nice to enjoy the peace."

But his moment of peace was short-lived. A shrill cry pierced the air. Sofia was awake—and she was not happy. "Mierda. I'll call you back!" Eric said quicly hanging up, just hearing Frenkie's laugh through the speaker. Eric hurried over to the crib, lifting his daughter into his arms. "Hey, hey, it's okay, baby." He cooed, bouncing her lightly. But Sofia’s cries only grew louder. He checked her diaper; dry. He offered her the bottle; she pushed it away. He walked laps around the living room, swaying her gently, but nothing seemed to work. The crying continued, and Eric could feel himself starting to panic.

"What do you need, Sof? What am I doing wrong?" He muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He tried walking into different rooms, tried playing soft music, but nothing helped. Sofia just kept crying. Defeated, Eric sank onto the rocking chair in Sofia’s nursery. He held her close, gently swaying back and forth, back and forth. He was about to give up when a memory popped into his head; Y/n, softly singing a lullaby when Sofia had been crying one night. "I guess it’s worth a shot." Eric murmured to himself. Taking a deep breath, he began singing softly, his voice shaky at first.

"Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird-"

Slowly, to his amazement, Sofia’s cries began to quiet. She stared up at him with her big eyes, her tiny hands gripping his shirt as she slowly drifted off. Eric kept rocking, kept singing, even as her breathing evened out and she finally, blissfully, fell asleep. Eric sat there for a few more minutes, savoring the quiet moment, before quietly making his way back down to the living room and gently placing her back in her crib. He exhaled deeply, half in relief and half in disbelief that he had managed to calm her down.

Later that afternoon, Y/n returned, her face glowing with relaxation. "I'm back!" She smiled as she stepped into the house, her eyes immediately darting to the baby monitor in her hand. Eric was stretched out on the couch, a proud grin on his face. "How was your spa day?" He asked, getting up to greet her. "Perfect." Y/n said, leaning in for a kiss. "But I think the real highlight was seeing you on the baby monitor." Eric froze. "Wait, what?" Y/n laughed, holding up her phone. "Yeah, I had the baby monitor app open while I was at the spa. I saw everything. It was adorable. You singing to her, rocking her to sleep. I’m not going to lie, I have never been more attracted to you before in my entire life."

Eric’s face turned bright red. "You saw that?" She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course." Y/n teased. "And I loved every second of it. You did great." Eric relaxed, letting out a small chuckle. "I was a little out of my depth there for a minute. But hey, I think we made it through." Y/n kissed his cheek. "You’re amazing, Eric. Thank you for this. It means the world to me." He smiled, pulling her closer. "Anything for you. And for Sofia. But, uh, next time, maybe you can stay just a little closer to home?"

Y/N laughed. "Deal."

[miniaturecollectiveendermen]

TBHK

Kou, Teru, Yamabuki (Lemon) and Akane(boy) with a GN S/O who sleeps ANYWHERE. In class, during lunch, while studying, while cuddling, etc.

falling asleep with them ♡

~ feat. kou, teru, yamabuki and akane aoi

!!WARNINGS!! just pure fluff, gn!reader, no gendered pronouns mentioned

kou

kou didnt notice your ability to fall asleep anywhere at first

when he first met you he assumed you were just really tired, he was worried about you cuz he thought you werent getting enough rest

he didnt want to pry into your personal life too much but eventually he did end up asking you if you were getting enough sleep

you explained the situation to him and he was amazed

so thats just something you do?

it took a little while but eventually he gets used to it

whenever you fall asleep he makes sure no one disturbs you (especially hanako)

if anyone ever bothers you about he immediately comes to your defense, if its a ghost then he'll immediately threaten to exorcise them (or just do it depends on who it is)

he always makes sure youre comfortable whenever/where ever you sleep

if you fall asleep while the two of you are cuddling he becomes stiff and tries his best not to disturb you

he'll glare daggers at anyone who might disturb your slumber since he cant get up and shoo them away

teru

MY LOVE

ahem

teru is an observant person and being his s/o means he notices every little thing about you

he knows everything you like or dislike, your little habits and characteristics

the moment he notices you falling asleep any where and everywhere he starts doing things to make you more comfortable

he'll carry a pillow or blanket around for you (dont ask how hes teru he can do anything)

if he doesnt have a blanket he'll use his jacket as a blanket

he finds your unique ability quite cute and he might tease you about it, but in a friendly way

if anyone else teases or bothers you about it tho he'll immediately put an end to it

he does get worried about it at first, he makes sure youre getting enough rest

if you fall asleep while cuddling he'll hold you close and make sure youre able to rest comfortably

if he feels peaceful enough he might fall asleep with you

i love him

yamabuki (lemon)

okay im gonna be honest i forgot what his personality is like so i had to go through his wiki for this-

so yamabuki isnt the most observant person nor does he care about his surroundings very much so he doesnt notice you falling asleep immediately

but after a few times of it happening he'll take notice and pay closer attention

if you fall asleep around him he'll take pictures of you sleeping (with permission ofc) and tease you with them later

another character who thinks you falling asleep everywhere is cute

he likes taking pictures of things that interest him and you interest him a lot :)

he may seem like the bad boy type who doesnt care about anything

which is partly true

he cares a lot about you

he just has different ways of showing it

and taking pictures of you is one of those ways

akane aoi

okay so this man is extremely affectionate

and hes very open with his affection too

he notices you sleeping everywhere immediately

and once he does he'll make sure youre as comfortable as possible

like teru he'll have a blanket or pillow on hand all the time

he'll go as far as to have a place for you to rest in the student council room

which may result in teru ending him

but for you its worth it

if anyone even thinks about annoying you while you sleep or bother you about it he will not hesitate to end them

but if you tell him not too he wont (reluctantly)

when you fall asleep while cuddling he'll hold you close to him

he'll stay with you for as long as necessary

A/N: im sorry this took so long, ive been caught up with a lot of things in my personal life and had to put my writing to the side but im back now!! hopefully i wont disappear again but i cant make any promises

[lullabiesofalovesickangel]

i feel like all of my friends hate me, that no matter what i do i will always be the annoying one or the one that ppl want to make go away

i feel like everyone around me just wants me to suffer bcuz i dont do anything to help

i feel like a burden && no amount of reassurance rlly stops those thoughts when i get like this, bcuz ik that theres ppl that see me as a burden && wont tell me. ppl just lie to me ab all of this stuff

i feel like it would be so much easier for those around me if i just stopped being around bcuz i wouldnt be another mouth to feed, i wouldnt be taking so much && not being able to give back even if im unable to get a job

i feel like ppl will always see me as the annoying one that they hate sm but wont say they do bcuz they dont want to deal w me more than what they alr do

i dont believe ppl actually love me unless i can provide smth in turn && im struggling to do anything for myself let alone take care of pets too. i feel like if im not smth to use, or a stupid fucking doll or toy, then im worthless. if im not useful im not wanted

i rlly want it all to stop, sometimes it feels like i rlly would be better off dead so everyone else wouldnt have to deal w me && so they could freely talk shit ab me w/o me knowing that there's resentment ab me

im tired of living but if i even bring it up to others in the house, i have to console them or feel like i have no choice but to admit myself somewhere like thats actually going to help

i rlly am good for nothing when i cant do anything or provide money for a household that took me in, i just cause issues && make it ab me

im a shit person && ik that but idk how to combat that, i want to be perfect but it feels like i will always be reaching bcuz my best is always less than

i hate living but i also feel so guilty for feeling the way i do bcuz ik i have someone that loves me so much more than my brain will tell me but it feels like im failing them bcuz theyre going thru things && it's being ab me again

im not trying to make it ab me either bcuz i want them to be able to focus on themselves i just dont have anywhere to turn to bcuz im half expecting to not be put on meds or they not help the second i get them

&& ik some ppl will see how i feel && tell me im just guilt tripping && manipulating ppl around me so they have to feel bad for me && that just makes it sm worse, bcuz then i have to deal w the guilt that the way i can get my emotions out on smth personal is just me being an abusive asshole regardless of my struggles

idk what to do anymore

[kael-writ]

saw a leftist post about how we shouldnt try too hard to be safe at protests and like Im tired Im sure I misread stuff but if I did, most people probably would.... and they talked about covid precautions in a weird way and used a term "safetyism" and my guy, look, ... safety is the point. Like sure if you as an able bodied white 20 year old wanna get beat up by a cop resisting arrest to make a point that's fine. Even If you wanna immolate yourself for a cause a lot of people wont judge you and will respect your choice. It can be heroic to take on risks in protest

But... come the fuck on, honestly. Safety is ultimately the point. We're here to make people safe. I look around these protests and there are disabled people in wheelchairs, children, elderly people, vulnerable comrades. Someone in the comments said maybe people in wheelchairs shouldn't be there like, ....no? It's their fight too. WTF do you think happens to Palestinians who lose limbs in a bombing? They use wheelchairs. You're saying they don't have a place...? No, they do. People in wheelchairs are at every protest, disability protests are hardcore actually, they're not asking your permission just your respect.

Another guy got so mad about comments advocating masks that he said he was gonna go to he march and cough on people like? ...We're comrades?

If you wanna specifically plan a highly risky action you do it with a small trusted group. You don't just go to a march someone else organized and wild out and then get mad that not everyone had the same ideas as you when you didnt co-ordinate and communicate. If the cops try to arrest you the crowd will try to support you but if they don't know you or what happened the risk they're willing to take is realistically limited regardless of what you think it should be.

A lot of people will support righteous rioting to a generous extent but generally at protests, not really at Palestine protests but at some others like the anti-war ones or Occupy, there are one or two people there just to be a jerk, not for a good cause, just to take advantage of the crowd to be destructive or whatever. Like someone just turning over a planter in front of an indie restaurant, like, ok? WTF did the damn plants do to you? A bunch of us replanted it. To quote Dead Kennedys, "trash a bank if you got real balls." That's really rare but it can happen and as much as we all wanna love and trust everyone, we're still city folk and you're still strangers. I don't trust people I haven't known for at least two years lol. Not to mention shit like the FBI pretending to be activists to entrap people.

It's not morally or ethically wrong to like, be as safe as possible within these inherently risky actions and consider carefully what additional risks to take or not.

If we're not taking care of the most vulnerable people in our number and including them what the fuck is the point? Yall wanna evoke women and children as victims but not include the most vulnerable victims in marching for their own rights?

We're not here to try to be cool, we're here to end a genocide, and that's gonna take a lot of work from a lot of people in a lot of ways, and some of those people and some of those ways have to be kept relatively safe.

[c-kiddo]

Just saying that tumblr now trains ai on ppls art if you don't opt out so be careful please. Just a heads up if you haven't seen the warning posts. Also you're one of my favorite blog people on here and I really like your art, especially your Imogen redesign it's straight up better than official art in my personal opinion. Just more interesting to look at

yea i clicked the turn-off button on my blogs i post original content. im too low spoons to do it for all of them but theyre mostly organised reblog blogs anyway. i saw people say they wont post here anymore but im too tired to figure out something else. if an AI is trained on my wonky art then i guess thats funny and im sure the AI bros will love it when their anime girls emerge with hairy legs and long noses and broken teeth . too tired to care much right now , on a personal scale. on a bigger scale i hate capitalism and its sad everything is going to shit except for some cool things like mountains and songs i like and artists that just keep going anyway . remember ai will never be able to take you over if you make physical art with your hands . thats ours forever . make a little zine

thank you also, i appreciate that <3 i forgot i did that redesign and im glad u like it , i think it turned out cool so thank u ^_^

[ewyband]

explaining HRT to my parents and acceptance

hello everypony, if you don't know, im non binary. im gonna be really vulnerable here for a hot sec but i just wanted to share my experience because its something ive found very difficult to write about in musical form.

gender has always been super confusing for me and whilst there were signs of me being trans when i was younger, its only something thats become apparent in the last three years. i wont bore anyone explaining my experience of where i stand with my gender but i wanted to share my experiences with HRT and the process of telling my parents about it.

i started seriously considering HRT around around a year ago and decided to take the plunge around two months ago because every time i looked in the mirror, i noticed more chest hairs, thicker body hair, broader shoulders and a squarer jawline -- this all makes me extremely dysphoric and i hated it. the conclusion i came to was, this was all going to continue to intensify throughout me aging and so the main question was: do i want to age on testosterone or estrogen? once i started estrogen i felt so much better about myself, almost instantly (as in, within the first few days). my mood has drastically increased and i have 'breakdowns' way less now which is great!! one thing i was scared about was chest growth and the day before i started estrogen, i was very tired from a long day and had a breakdown because i was quite literally mourning my freedom. i never really have been more confident shirtless or anything but i mourned swimming in the sea, in lakes, in rivers and in tarns on the mountain tops -- the sense of freedom you feel when you're fresh out of an ice cold tarn on a mountain is indescribable. however, now i have responsibilities, i have a career i have to make work, i have people i need to please and for some reason i felt not being able to be shirtless was another freedom i could potentially have snatched away from me. when i told my mum about me starting HRT she said 'well, i'm sure you've made an informed decision so i'll just tell you the same thing i've said about weed: just be careful okay' which was a genuinely pleasant surprise when my dad found out, my mum called me saying 'just in case you get a call from your dad, he's really worried and he's been losing sleep over it. if he calls you, please dont argue with him, just agree with him for now for our sake' my dad did end up calling me and i explained everything and any worries that he had. he had a lot of questions but i managed to answer everything without getting too upset. towards the end of our call i thought he said 'i just needed you to understand' to which i replied 'yeah i understand, its okay to be anxious, because i definitely was' and he replied 'no, i said "i just needed to understand"' im really grateful for my parents being so accepting and its genuinely strengthened our relationship. even though they're pretty hit and miss with calling me my correct pronouns, they still love me and havent disowned me and im really grateful for that.

anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[couchie]

as an on-and-off elbow crutch user, lemme tell yall abt my experiences

it got kinda long so im putting it in the read-more

it slows you down

especially in stairs, you have to put both your feet in one step to go to the next. that means it takes me twice the time to go up or down stairs than an abled bodied person, and that is when they're not speeding

you really cant speed much, be it on flat road or on stairs. it doesnt speed u up much and the only thing that happens is you get tired from using so much effort

people having to wait for you makes you self-conscious, even if they are understanding about it

carrying anything is a nightmare. backpacks can throw your balance off. you cannot hang a bag on the handles of your crutches cause you have to LIFT those bitches. and if you're only using one crutch, carrying the bag in the empty hand also throws you off balance

you only have a maximum of one hand available at all times

you need people to get out of the way. you need more moving space and standing space for moving with crutches

the crutches make your hands sore. you're carrying your weight with them after all. you can need to take a moment to rest only to soothe your palms, even if your legs arent tired

sitting is always a hassle with leg injuries, and that becomes a bigger mess when you need to also find a non-obstructive place to put your crutches to. they need to be easily accessible to you

standing up is also very hard. it depends on what your disabilities are but the faster you find a way to comfortably stand up, the better

people *will* try and take your crutches. Do Not do that. i dont care if you're fascinated by them or if you wanna play around and swing urself or if u wanna hold onto them while i sit. unless i explicitly ask you to, do Not take my crutches. and if you do, don't set it down anywhere, hand it off to somebody else, or leave it somewhere i cant get to. wait for further instructions. do i want you to put them at somewhere specific? do i want you to give them back to me? do what i want you to with them, nothing more and nothing less

people get curious and it gets really tiring to answer the same questions. i dont owe you an explanation and i dont want your curiosity or your pity

yes it's real sad that your distant relative also had one accident so they had to use crutches too. yeah there are canes and underarm crutches and wheelchairs but this is what i am using. yes people may need them for different reasons and it's not your place to judge or question it. can i please keep walking?

crutches get dirty from being used everywhere and the handles sweaty from your palms and they need cleaning

you will get looks no matter what aid you are using

idk if it's just me but going downhill is very hard with crutches. uphill too but when it's downhill i'm also afraid of falling and rolling downhill 😭

getting in and out of cars is a hassle. btw, for safety, you should put your crutches on the ground under your feet

acquiring a shower stool might just be what you need. also get non-slip plastic rugs to lay on the bathtub/shower floor. getting someone to help you shower isnt shameful

if you drop something, woe is you. where do you put your crutches? how do you crouch to get them? the best thing to do, in that case, is to ask for help. people wont mind, believe me. and if you're alone, be careful and take your time

creaky crutches are the worst💔💔

being able to walk without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. not having more pain without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. stop being so hard on yourself

it's not our duty to educate people. if you're so curious go do a basic google search before questioning me. because, consider how many times i get the same questions in the same day

seeing another mobility aid user brings a sense of belonging and you bring the same feeling to people without visible disabilities

be unapologetically yourself. take up space. dont be sorry for needing aid

take care. i love you 🫶

[plantaffinity]

I really want a hamster but I doubt I could take care of it. I like cleaning and decorating so I think I would enjoy a weekly clean of the cage, I could sit down in one place on the floor and get it all clean and decorate it. and it would give me something meaningful to do, I'm really decaying here (ive been sick for a long long time) and feeling hopeless. but im so tired all the time and i dont actually know if i will or wont have energy to do this every week. I do have a dog but she's really low maintenance, and the things I can do to take care of her more (to give me meaning) are very taxing. Taking long walks isn't a thing I can do anymore. she prefers to play with a human and not a toy, and im just not in shape to run around with her. even brushing her teeth is hard on me because she hates doing it (but we have to anyway). but she's getting all the things she needs like food water daily walks. but to enrich my own life, there's nothing else I can do. I used to love taking long walks with her, but I get more sick if I walk that long. I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own body. anyway thats why I'd love to have a hamster, it can do it's own thing and I can provide it with food and toys and watch it be adorable and maybe hold it in my hands if it will let me. and I can clean its cage, cleaning is also an activity I miss doing (i used to work with cleaning) and being able to succesfully clean an entire thing while staying in one place (as opposed to cleaning the apartment, where id have to physically move around and bend and become exhausted) would feel rewarding. i also love researching care tips for different animals, learning new things and me and my dog are way past that stage as I got her 8 years ago and we know everything about eachother. would be fun to get to know a new little individual. but idk im not gonna let a hamster suffer just cause im bored

[vexxandra]

intuitive messages from your person (really specific so probably not gonna resonate lol)

first time doing this! a bit of practice, since im not good with listening to my intuition. but were trying new things this new year. lool lets get started :D

m tellin u its like super SUPER specific ;D

pile one:

things that could have significance : genshin, but more specifically, wishing, debate clubs, when you wish upon a star, steven universe end credits (love like you), lavender or mint, milk, the name sofia?, sweaters or oversized clothes,  telephone (the song or the object), dial/tone, closet

hello dear. have i been away for too long? apologies, work is very hard nowadays and i find that ive been losing myself more and more. but ive been thinking about you quite a lot. especially at night. dreaming of you. ive been irresponsable, not answering your calls quickly enough and leaving things to pile up between the two of us. but please know that im working very hard and trying the best i can. you must be furious with me, and i can understand that. give me more time, and i promise i wont let you down. id never let you down. i love you too much to ever be able to do that. ive been losing sleep, and thats tiring because i get to see you when i sleep so i find that ive been taking meds more often to help with that. thats stupid, and id know you tell me the same. god, i wish you were next to me right now. then id fall asleep quicker than a light flicks off. music. ill speak to you through our favorite songs, and ill listen for things you say to me in yours as well. its time for me to say good bye though. know that nothing has changed between us, and i care for you as much as ever before.

signed, yours.

pile two:

things that could have significance: grocery stores at night, denki kaminari vibes honestly!!, mixtapes (like old cassette ones), guitar, dog or pets, crescent, artic monkeys, blasting music super loud, summertime, you get me so high - the neighbourhood, electric (or electric love)

gee, its really been a while since we’ve talked last. you’re my best friend, ill love you forever, yknow that? you’re super cool. cooler than popsicles on a summer day. cooler than penguins in the north pole. wait-- penguins live in the south pole? no one told me that?! hey! its not my fault, i never knew that. jeez... still teasing as ever, huh? sometimes i wonder how it would have been if i hadn’t moved away/transferred schools. we’d be tightknit! and we already are. there are so many stupid pictures of us in my camera roll that i jsut scroll through them when i feel like i miss you. nahh im just playing! i always miss you! we should totally hang out sometime soon! lets race grocery carts!

see ya! - your best friend

pile three:

things that could have significance: notebooks, preppy or academia aesthetic, fandom or into dnd, pearls or pearly whites, ‘shade’ colors (white, grey, black-- but emphasis on grey), 505 by artic monkeys, classroom, bunch of school imagery

dear you

why do you have to be so perfect? ive always been top of my class, such an overachiever, but with you, its like all of my accomplishments are suddenly fade away. you’re awesome like that, you know. stop letting your parents control your life. you’re a super smart person, dont let anyone EVER tell you otherwise. oh, and you can let your hair down too. im not gonna judge you, and plus, i think you look nice without your hair all tight like that. meet me at our spot. the spot that’s only ours. a place where we can just be ourselves. what? stop playing around, trying to get me to tell you again. what if someone sees this letter?! its just something between you and me, and i know i can trust you. id trust you with my life, pile three. im serious. stay the way you are. dont become a product of society. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.

from, yours

pile four TW: Harsh truth! Please don’t read unless you’re ready and willing

things that could have significance: floating, or sinking(into a mattress, or in water), bath/bathing, milky way or space in general, being loved by a ghost, anxiety/confusion, salt or minerals. lots of comparisons here, so that could be something too. also francis forever - mitski and last words of a shooting star -mitski

this person didn’t have a letter to write to you. they were very blocky and choppy and took long pauses in between of answering. also, these are just sentences, so everytime there’s a period, its a sentence ending, and a new idea beginning

i dont need you. i have everything i need. so why are you here? what am i missing? what do i not understand? stop getting into my head. ive been thinking of you. you look nice. (dont) call me. please trust me, i can keep my promises. that, i can swear. bandaids cant heal my scars. sometimes i just want to fall asleep for a long time, and you cant stop or save me. they mean more to me than you. forever. i still care about you. they lied. im getting bored. you used to be the sun. what dont you understand? i still loved you. goodbye. (bonus message: they wont last)

[soulofamy]

spoilers for tekken 8's story and character endings under the tag! read at your own disgression. these are just my thoughts on it. for transparancy, i likely wont actually be able to purchase and play the game for the foreseeable future so i just watched a playthrough of it instead

so ill start with what i liked. i really liked that, unlike tekken 7, everyone on the roster to some degree was in the main story. i like that a good healthy handful of them even tried their best to aid the efforts against kazuya. it was really nice for me especially to see shaheen get to be cool and heroic. i dont want to hear ANYONE say hes boring ever again, you hear me?

i like the character endings as well, theyre so fun and lighthearted. i liked zafinas and shaheens the most. i surprisingly likes kazuyas and juns too, it makes me think he actually DOES love his wife to an extent. not enough for me to like him as a character unfortunately though lol.

i LOVED angel jin at the end. his design imo was phenominal. i love that they crossed an ethereal, otherwordly monster with a knight and gave him golden angel wings too. it was so visually captivating, i will be looking out for a character sheet to see what distinct features i can point out. i just love that they made an angel design so unique, there was nothing predictable or boring about it.

now things i didnt like

first off, i am SO mad that they killed off zafina AND claudio so early on. they were the two i was most interested to see!! i wanted to see their dynamic together!! but at least zafinas death made a little more sense than claudios. his death did absolutely nothing for the story! i thought maybe that hyper-charged up bolt he shot was going to slowly deteriorate kazuya overtime and weaken him enough that jin could take him one on one or something but NOPE! even zafina i felt didnt need to die. was it ever explained that her life force was connected to azazel? wouldnt it make more sense if she was free to be of MORE use now that azazel isnt holding her back? i never thought i would write tekken fanfiction but they have forced my hand. justice for my faves please </3

they did nothing with leo finding his mother and that makes me sad. its cool we got his dad though, he seems like a cool guy. i wouldnt mind his dad being a new fighter.

steve just kind of dropping the whole thing with nina also upsets me because like if you were going to make the ending to that whole thing so lackluster, why introduce it at all? nina clearly doesnt care and steve just kinda carries on, what was the point? why put nina through such a traumatizing experience of having a child against her will for such little payout?

lastly, i just really could not give two rats toenails about reina im sorry 😭 like visually shes boring. her personality is boring AND annoying. and then they try and make us want more by showing us this heihachi child is ALSO a devil. like i am so tired of the mishima saga that i dont care enough to wonder who her mother is. there are SO many loose ends that havent been tied up yet, i dont want a potential tekken 9 to focus on the mishimas anymore i am on my hands and knees begging

[tacroyy]

more on education&work—lack of agency & denial of expression of children in education.

something else about education is that you really get used to not being heard. and, in a parallel way, you get used to not listening. people don't want to keep listening to you talk about how exhausting and underfunded and underresourced things are, and that is deeply fair of them to react that way, but also you keep having those feelings, because you are just constantly exhausted and underfunded and underresourced. but then, the kids are having those feelings too. you're making them do unchildlike things day in and day out and you hear it so much that you forget to listen to what you are constantly hearing. so a school district hears that its not supporting its teachers and students and staff so often that it stops listening. and everyone around teachers hears that teachers arent being resourced or funded and its such a constant hum they have to stop listening. and teachers hear that students are tired and dont want to work and hate school so much that they wont listen anymore. its this big cycle and something that's actually really nice is that... it does help to break it. when you listen to a kid they glow about it and try harder—but not in the way that makes them inauthentic! like today a kid who doesnt engage much shared a language thing when they "shouldn't" have (don't talk while teacher is talking etc) and they were so excited to share, so i engaged, so they loved it, so they engaged more, so they learned some stuff and had a good time. like... you dont quash the excitement and the interest, even if—especially if!—it is inconvenient.

districts and those that fund education should be able to do that too. educators can be so inconvenient—teachers really are the worst people; you have this group of cats who have created their own little realms where they are in charge and then you try to tell them what to do and act confused when they're like "bitch, and you are?" like yes. our educational structure sucks absolute ass, it sucks that we're putting One Adult In Charge like this, it's NOT a good system. but dont be SURPRISED by that, please. you (districts/governments/societies/funding structures) CREATED and/or SUSTAIN this structure for education, and then to be like "omg why do teachers get so offended" um because you don't ever make us work together for REAL. you just SUSTAIN the shitty individualistic adult-as-authority cycle. SO few can coteach (imagine........ having another qualified person, or multiple other qualified people in the room with you??????? mindbending) and if they do coteach they still have separate realms generally (like a sped teacher pushing into gen ed, or two teachers taking a difficult class and one "goes high" and the other "goes low"). just—to go back to my point. if you find something educators are EXCITED about, encourage them and listen!!!!!! even if they are yelling at the "wrong time." they're yelling for a reason. im yelling about how kids are getting really good at standing up for themselves. we should ENCOURAGE that. they can identify and put words onto things that older generations treated as taboo, like abuse and bullying and all forms of prejudice, racism and sexism and queerphobia and ableism— i mean, a kid once told me, word for word, that they were "having a mental health crisis." they used ALL of the right language. the kids are LISTENING to us. they are DOING IT BETTER THAN WE WERE.

and then teachers keep saying—why are the kids so DIFFERENT than they used to be? because kids are starting to want to take care of themselves, for once. they have learned how to say no. and it's wonderful. and it makes you change. and teachers are the rulers of their realms. and their realms cannot change according to the teacher-rulers. but the change is calling from inside the fucking classroom!!!!

breaking cycles is good. really listening is good. its overwhelming to not tune anything out. but if you tune things out, you dont break cycles.