#i wonder if the reason why they're not being brought back too often is really because-

[zhongrin]

sob. i love the sumeru crew so much.

[quitealotofsodapop]

The conflict between Wukong and Macaque during the journey to me feels like a very complicated one simply because, at its core, Wukong feels abandoned by Macaque... but with 500+ years of self esteem issues brought about by his time under the mountain, being conditioned into a martyr by Azure, and just everyone and everything they come across treating him like a monster, he doesn't feel he has a right to be upset with Macaque when he was the one to lash out to begin with. So he tries to mask his pain by finding other, also extremely valid, reasons to be upset. Why did Macaque leave FFM without a protector? Why did he attack them? Why did it take someone physically jumping between the two to stop Macaque from accidentally hurting Wukong's unborn child?

It's a highly complicated situation, especially since Macaque is not entirely in the wrong either. He had the right to be upset with Wukong. He had needed the space and time away to heal himself just as Wukong is doing now by being forced upon this journey of redemption and healing. His mistake was that he got so caught up in his travels that he forgot or ignored his duties, thinking someone else would handle it. Because in the past it was always slemone else who did, it was Wukong. Except this time, Wukong wasn't around to protect the island. He was trapped. Leaving Macaque as the sole protector who could do anything.

The Pilgrims are outsiders looking in. They can see the situation for what it is, even without the full context. They see Wukong is hurt by Macaque and feels abandoned. They see Macaque is regretful and perhaps still a bit scared of the prrson Wukogn had turned into when he was at his worst. They're both deeply hurt, and they're both trying to figure out who they are and where they stand in their relationship with all the pain that now separates them. The fact that Stone Monkeys mate for life and Wukong is pregnant does little to help, Macaque feels the need to be there for Wukong while Wukong is left wondering why is he only now coming back after everything that happened. They need an intervention.

Prev.

YEEESSSS

its a multi-layered conflict!

Wukong's anger is born of worry and of confusion - but especially the actions (or rather inaction) that Macaque did that harmed others. While Macaque was put into the same position as his mate, suddenly thrust into power as FFM's ruler. Mac did what Wukong had done when he left to train under Subodhi. He left when he realised it was just too much for him in that moment.

The only difference being that Macaque wasn't sure if he'd ever come back - he wasn't born on FFM after all, and he had yet to find his own answers on what/who he was. It's only after so many years that Macaque sort of realises that he really should have stayed, but at the same time feels that he's "in too deep" to ever come back. Same with his relationship with Wukong - would it be easier/less painful to call the whole thing off or for them to repair what they once had? He's still a little scared of whoever Wukong became when he burst forth from the Furnace, but now theres this... future baby to consider - a little person who has no idea of the wrongs the either of them have done to eachother. Macaque wants to protect them.

Wukong on the flip side wants Macaque to talk to him about why he felt that he needed to leave. He wants confirmation and closure and honesty - Macaque often forgets that not everyone can tell lie from truth with just their ears.

And ofc the other Pilgrims are on the outside looking in - seconds away from locking these two in a room to force them to talk things out.

Sorry I just love when people send me introspectives of these goobers' relationship. Never be scared to send more <3

[molsno]

I've always looked back on the johto remakes fondly, as I know most people have. they're very beloved games, and for good reason! they brought johto to life on the ds and added lots of wonderful new features. pokemon fans have long since considered them to be the best remakes in the series, and I think they deserve that reputation. however, I've been replaying pokemon soulsilver the past few days and I've been coming to realize that they still suffer specifically because they're johto remakes.

my main issue with the johto games, a problem that continues to haunt their remakes, is that the variety of pokemon available is very limited. if you want to build a full team of 6, then most of your options are likely going to be pokemon from kanto. in the specific context of gold and silver, this makes sense. they were designed as sequels to the original red and green, with the primary hook being that 100 new species of pokemon have been discovered. the original 151 were extremely beloved, so it makes sense that they would continue to be featured prominently in gold and silver. that way, whenever you did find a new pokemon, it would be exciting for the player! I understand the approach that gamefreak took with the original johto games given this context.

the problem is that most johto pokemon just... aren't very good. most of the new pokemon have very poor stats - made worse by the fact that a significant portion of them are baby pokemon. on top of that, many of the ones that are good are often inaccessible until late in the game; skarmory isn't available until after you get the 8th badge (in an optional route that many players are likely to skip, no less), and tyranitar isn't available until mt. silver, the very last location you get access to. even some of the new pokemon which are mediocre at best aren't available until the post-game; houndour and slugma can only be found in kanto despite being johto pokemon, and misdreavus - the only other ghost type besides the gengar line - also can't be caught until mt. silver.

because many johto pokemon are unusable on a team, whether due to poor stats or inaccessibility, your team is most likely going to consist of kanto pokemon. again, I understand why this is the case given the context that the games were released in, but I find it frustrating! I want to build my team around the pokemon native to the region I'm playing in, and I feel my ability to do so is being limited!

so, did heartgold and soulsilver fix this? not really. the same problems mostly persist. one of the only saving graces is that some of the formerly weak johto pokemon received evolutions in gen 4. and you can obtain some of them! however, most of them are locked behind the post-game once again, and some of them are unobtainable entirely without trading. for example, there's no good reason that you shouldn't be able to evolve eevee into leafeon or glaceon in these games, but you need to trade it to diamond, pearl, or platinum to do so because there is no moss rock or icy rock in johto. they could have added them, but they didn't.

it frustrates me because the context these games were released in was different from that of the games they were remaking. technically, they didn't need to remake them; all johto pokemon were made available in gen 3, albeit many of them were locked behind the paywall of having to buy far too many games and accessories. the primary reason for these games to exist was to make them easier to obtain. it wasn't like firered and leafgreen, which were made specifically because the majority of kanto pokemon were completely unobtainable in gen 3 due to the gba not being able to connect with gb and gbc games.

speaking of which, it feels like they didn't learn their lesson from firered and leafgreen. one of the primary causes of frustration in those games is that you are completely unable to obtain any non-kanto pokemon until the post-game, for the sake of being "faithful" to the originals. this was a problem because they already weren't faithful to the originals, as frlg featured new mechanics from gen 3 such as abilities, but I digress. with hgss, the fact that gamefreak intentionally limited which pokemon you can access until the post-game feels like another attempt at being "faithful" to the originals, but they didn't even commit to it as hard as they did before. in frlg, if you maxed out a golbat's friendship, it would attempt to evolve into crobat every time it leveled up, before stopping prematurely. in hgss, you can evolve yanma into yanmega by teaching it ancient power and then leveling it up. if you want a togekiss though, too bad, because a shiny stone isn't available until after you beat the champion.

by this point in the pokemon franchise, I don't think gamefreak needed to remake gold and silver with faithfulness to their original context. hoenn and sinnoh were both designed to be new and refreshing, so it was reasonable for fans to expect each region to have its own identity, with its own pokemon being featured prominently. they could have adapted johto to suit this new convention for the series, but they chose not to, and I can't help but feel that heartgold and soulsilver suffer as a result.

[bluegekk0]

what do the rest of the family think/ feel when grimm gets all burnt and needs a refresh?

Ooh I'm guessing you mean whenever he has to leave for a ritual? Since 99% of the time that happens before he starts showing visible signs of his body falling apart haha

Vyrm doesn't cope with it too well, which was especially an issue at the beginning of their relationship. In fact, the first time Grimm had to leave was quite soon after their reunion, so as you can imagine, that made Vyrm really stressed, as he assumed Grimm wouldn't come back (even despite him assuring that he would). Vyrm's self esteem was at its lowest still, so he was convinced that Grimm found him disappointing as a partner, especially in intimate aspects, something Vyrm was very self-conscious about. Of course, Grimm did return, so his worries were unfounded. Over the years after that, Vyrm still experienced a lot of anxiety whenever Grimm would leave, the separation clearly stressed him out, he would anxiously wait for his return and would not be able to focus on anything. He got better at it over time, and these days, while he still finds Grimm's absence to be upsetting, he manages to cope with it, especially since he has children to look after.

As for how he feels about that aspect of Grimm itself, he definitely wishes things were different. Yes, there are positives, Grimm's ability to adjust the body can come in handy, and loves whenever Grimm does it specifically with him in mind (making the fur fluffier to act as a softer pillow? Yes please). But Grimm not being there for two, three weeks, sometimes even a month, is very upsetting considering how close their bond is, and he would be ready to sacrifice those small changes in a heartbeat if it meant Grimm wouldn't have to leave every few months.

As for the rest of the family, I'll start with the kids. The twins only experienced him leaving once, and they were still at the age where it was very confusing to them. They really missed him during the time, Milo especially, and while he brought back many toys for them to play with, it was still a stressful time for them. They're still too young to fully comprehend why he has to leave now. In the future, I think Asta would find it fascinating and would even want to join him at some point, Milo would not be too happy about it still. He's very close with his parents and depends on them with all of his health issues, so Grimm's absence would be a stressful time. Lewk is old enough to have had the conversation about Grimm's nature, not to mention he went through that whole thing a few times already, so he understands the reasoning. I think, with his compassionate nature and his curiosity, he would wonder how Grimm feels about it, so he'd definitely ask him about it often.

Hornet didn't really care the first time he left since it happened so soon after she moved to Dirtmouth, and they weren't close back then. But over time she began seeing him more as a parental figure, and with that his absence became much more noticeable. She won't admit it, but she does miss him every time. Generally she thinks of Grimm's situation as something very unpleasant, especially after the Grimmkin incident where Grimm stayed by Vyrm's bed for so long he neglected the state of his physical body. To the point Hornet had to actually step in and tell him he has to leave or else he'll completely fall apart. And I think the sight of his decaying form really stuck with her, and she remembers it to this day.

Holly is in a similar situation where they really miss him when he's away. They were the first one to see Grimm as a father post-infection, not to mention he already delayed his departure once to help them recover from the infection. On top of that, seeing Vyrm's distress at his partner's absence also affected Holly, and I like to think they spend extra time giving him company whenever that happens. So while they wish Grimm didn't have to leave, they enjoy the opportunity to spend more time with their father, without Grimm getting in the way, as bad as it may sound. I suppose they still have some of that jealousy rooted deep within, and I don't think that'll ever change.

Zote would have some complicated feelings, mainly because every time Grimm replaces his body, it's a reminder of his own mortality. Maybe he's jealous that Grimm can cheat death like this. Before meeting the family he wouldn't care, but now that he has his own little group that tolerates him, the thought that he doesn't want to grow old started to surface in his mind. He was fairly young when he met them, I picture him as about 18, 19 years old, but 10 years already passed like nothing and it's understandable that he'd start to think about it, especially seeing their birthdays where they don't even keep up with their exact ages anymore. So maybe whenever Grimm returns from a ritual, Zote would be particularly grumpy. Though at the same time, I don't think he envies him that much either. Having your body slowly burn down every few months can't be pleasant, after all.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Hey! Hope you're having a good day.

I would like to know if you would write a short one shot about the moon boys.

Prompt: reader and the moon boys are friends and they are telling reader about their past and how Marc was married to Layla. Reader goes on a rant about how they're stupid because they let such a wonderful woman get away from them and the boys are like "we made a mistake, and now we're trying not to repeat it. We love you, and we want you in our lives forever"

~Second Chances Don't Wait~

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none really, brief mention of a random guy being a creep but nothing big

Genre: fluff of course

Summary: Finding out your friend has an ex-wife is probably the weirdest segway to a confession

A/N: Hello dear~! Thank you for requesting! It's- not as short as I planned it to be but I hope it's to your liking anyway. Have a lovely day &lt;3

***

"Marc don't burn the popcorn!" You shout from the bathroom as you change your clothes.

"I can handle a microwave y/n!" He shouts back and you can practically see him rolling his eyes from the kitchen.

You smile to yourself, switching your work clothes for a hoodie and some comfortable shorts. Marc, Jake, and Steven are over at your place pretty often these days but tonight they insisted you come to theirs for your weekly movie night. You came straight from work, only because to get to your place you would pass his first so you simply brought a change of clothes to work today. Your friendship with Marc and his alters is one for the books for sure but whenever you think about how you got here, it makes you laugh.

You'd met Jake first which is somewhat hilarious considering how much he hates people. You'd been picking up some snacks from a corner store and some guy got way too close just as Jake walked in. The dude had cornered you in a part of the shop that was out of sight of the store owner but Jake came over and told him to leave me alone so menacingly that his words chased the guy right out before he even bought anything. You'd tried to thank him for it but he walked off before you could even get the words out. So with your items in hand, you walked to the register, and upon checking out you thought of a new way to thank him.

"Hey Louie, whatever that gentleman in the cap buys, it's on me. If this doesn't cover it somehow- I'll be back 'round later in case I owe you more for it, okay?" You quietly slipped Louie an extra 10 bucks assuming that should cover it.

"Got it, dear." He nods and you walked out with your items, thoroughly pleased with yourself. Until a few moments later a voice shouted after you.

"Hey!" You spun around to find Jake stomping towards you.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I can pay for my own stuff."

"I don't doubt that, I'm just saying thank you. For taking care of that guy."

"You could have just said thank you."

"I would've but you stomped off before I could say anything. I figured you didn't wanna be bothered so I found another way." You shrugged. "I don't see why you're angry. Who gets made at free stuff?" You'd frowned. He shot you a glare that most people would've withered against but for some reason, you didn't back down.

"Whatever." He eventually muttered and stormed off. 

"What a grump." You'd muttered to yourself shaking off the icy chill of his stare. If you asked Jake today why he bothered to help you back then he'd probably deny there being any real reason for it.

It was a few weeks later that you'd met Steven and what a strange day that was. You'd gone to the museum he worked at and after a couple hours of wandering, you hit the gift shop hoping to find something to memorialize your visit. When you'd picked out a few items and dropped them on the counter you couldn't believe the face staring back at you.

"Woah! It's you again." You'd said before you could stop yourself.

"I- I beg your pardon?" Steven had blinked at you with such confusion on his face that you stepped back.

"We- we met a couple of weeks ago. At a corner store- don't you remember?"

"I- I apologize you must have me confused with someone else." He'd shook his head very hard and it was then that you realized the accent in his speech. The guy from the convenience store did not have a British accent.

"Well I'll be damned. Guess so. My mistake, you look scarily similar to a guy I met a few weeks ago. He talks very differently though. You might wanna talk to your parents about a long lost twin though- the resemblance is- uncanny." You'd told him as he rang up your items.

"Statistically every person has 7 doppelgangers. It's- though unlikely, possible this man you met and I are one of those statistical 7 for each other." Steven had told you in response.

"Ya don't say." You muttered. You wrapped up that transaction and left rather quickly, still a bit unsettled by the fact that this Steven looked just like the man from the corner store. Whose name you still didn't know at the time.

Marc you met the next day. On the bus. You had gotten on and ended up standing right next to him.

"Oh hey- you work at the museum, Steven, right?" You'd said to him.

"What are you talking about?" He'd frowned at you. A different accent this time.

"Okay. Wait you have got to be punking me."

"Do I know you?" He'd looked at you like you had two heads.

"We have met twice already! Except yesterday at the museum, you were British and three weeks ago at the corner store, you were a grumbly Latino and today you're a New Yorker. I know you said that everyone has 7 doppelgangers but I refuse to believe that in London only there are 3 people walking around with identical faces all sounding like they're from 3 different continents!" You'd huffed out. Marc had blinked at you very unsure of what to do. After all, somehow they'd accidentally revealed themselves to you and you didn't even realize it.

"How about we grab some coffee?" He'd asked after a moment.

"What?" That is not what you expected him to do.

"Coffee. Or tea if you prefer that. I'm Marc by the way. We should- talk, about what you think is going on here." He'd offered.

Reluctantly he told you about his situation, he was surprised they'd been reckless enough to get caught by a stranger but you took the information better than he expected. After all how often does someone you don't know share their medical conditions before they know your name? It made friendship kind of inevitable though, I mean- he could've lied, but you appreciated the honesty and quickly proved to be quite the confidante for the trio.

"What are you doing in there y/n?! Sewing a hoodie from scratch?!" Marc's voice from the living room ends your reminiscing.

"Shut up you impatient loser!" You roll your eyes as you grab your phone and pull open the bathroom door to join him.

"You're postponing movie night I am well within my rights to complain." He shrugs.

"We watch a movie together every week, don't whine." You take the bowl from his lap and grab a handful of popcorn as you sit down. "What's the genre for tonight again?" You ask grabbing his remote to queue up a movie.

"I think tonight is romance."

"You're actually going to watch a romance movie?!" You blink at him.

"Don't start." Marc points at you.

"Okay well- do you want to watch an intentionally bad one? We can laugh at all the Twilight films, or any Netflix original, or like something from the early 2000s. Or we can watch one of my favorites."

"You have a favorite romance movie?"

"It's only a romance movie by technicality." You shrug.

"What does that mean? Is it a Disney movie?"

"I don't like the way you said that first of all. No it's not a Disney movie. The main characters are married but it's more of an action movie than a romance."

"You've intrigued me." He hums.

"Then we'll watch that." You say finding and starting the movie before he can change his mind. When the movie ends it's Steven who's fronting.

"So they're spies and they're married but they're told to kill each other?!" Steven asks.

"Correct." You nod.

"Only you would pick something like that as your favorite 'romance' movie." He laughs.

"Hey! It's a great movie!"

"I mean we liked it, Jake especially- it's just- barely a romance really. Don't you like any of the normal ones? The notebook, princess bride, aren't those romances?"

"Well yeah but- the notebook is boring. Princess Bride, I like though, but I didn't think Marc would like something like that." You shrug.

"Oh he hates it. But if you asked him to I'm sure he'd sit through one." Steven shrugs taking the empty popcorn bowl to the sink.

"Now why do you want him to suffer?" You giggle standing from the couch to stretch your legs.

"I'm not saying make him suffer I'm saying watch a normal romance movie." He says.

"Fine. Next time we're doing romance I'll pick a 'normal' one, or you can pick one." You say just before your foot kicks a little box peaking out from under the coffee table. "Yo yall have got to get better at organizing, why is this box under your table?" You bend over to pick it up and check what's inside of it. A ring and some old photos it looks like but before you can do any more digging someone is at your side grabbing the box from you. You're not sure until they speak who it is.

"Don't." Marc says hiding the box behind his back.

"What is it?" You ask. There's a stretched period of silence and you're sure he's arguing with Jake and Steven over something so you snap a few times. "Hello! Earth to the system. I asked you something?" You frown.

"It's nothing." Marc says quickly.

"You're- keeping secrets now."

"No." He shakes his head.

"But you won't tell me what's in the box?" You quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Correct."

"Why not?"

"Because... it's not important." 

"People typically don't feel the need to hide things that aren't important." You mutter. It's not like Marc's not allowed to have his secrets but he could at least be honest and simply say it's something he's not ready to share.

"Aye this is getting ridiculous the box is about Layla, his ex-wife." Jake interrupts your back and forth with an exasperated sigh.

"Ex-wife?! Marc, you were married?!"

"It was years ago okay? It didn't work out and I never brought it up because it's- not a fun story so thanks for that Jake." Marc huffs out.

"Well sucks to suck Marc now you have to tell me about her. I can't believe you were married and never said anything?!"

"Can we maybe not?"

"Not an option." You say pulling Marc onto the couch beside you. "Start talking." You tell him. Marc sighs heavily but tells the story from start to finish. He details how they met and how impossible she was to win over at first, he talks about their wedding and their time as husband and wife, and how he up and left her like a crazy man. Steven even chimes in several details because apparently, she was part of how he found out he was an alter- Steven's review of her is glowing, almost saddeningly so. It seems like he started to love her as Marc had and you try not to let it get to you. When the storytime is over and your questions are answered you lean forward to smack Marc on the side of the head.

"Ouch! Hey, what the fuck!?" He hisses.

"You're a fucking moron!" You tell him.

"Excuse me!?"

"She sounds amazing and I can't believe you were stupid enough to let her get away. Not only that you pushed her away. What is wrong with you?"

"A lot of things! Hence the fractured conscious thanks." He huffs.

"Marc I'm being serious. Why would you walk away from her?"

"Y/n you don't need to lecture me I'm very well aware that I fucked up with her I'm trying very hard to make sure I don't make the same mistake twice."

"Wait are you going to try and get her back?" You ask. It's genuine curiosity, you're his friend before anything else.

"What? No. That door is long closed. I'm talking about you."

"Me?" You blink at him.

"Yes, you. I screwed things up with Layla obviously and I have no interest in fixing that at this point but I won't let it happen again. I'm in love with you- we all are and we really can't live without you so- yeah, there's that."

"You have such interesting timing Marc Spector." You muse.

"Look we're sorry if you don't feel the same and this makes things-" You lean forward and press your lips to Marc's gently, cutting him off.

"Don't get all twisted up, of course I feel the same. Telling me about your ex-wife is just a weird way to confess your feelings." You laugh sitting backwards again.

"Well to be fair this wasn't how I planned to tell you and I tried to tell you not to worry about the box." Marc says pulling you back towards him.

"You know better than to do that I'm far too curious." You muse.

"You're lucky you're cute." He smirks.

"I'm lucky? You're the one that gets to date me."

"Do I?"

"If you ever get to the part where you ask me on a date then yes."

"How about we go to dinner tomorrow night then? It'll be our first date." He suggests.

"Now you're the lucky one." You nod.

"Without a doubt." He says kissing the top of your head as he simply lays with you on the couch. He was never one to think everyone deserved a second chance, but if the universe was kind enough to grant him this one he was not going to be stupid enough to waste it.

***

[hungrydolphin91]

ok I had to go make my own post about Eugene Cassette Beasts, it's not fair for me to fill up everyone else's tags w how much I love this guy. I wanted to speculate a little about his backstory here cause it honestly fascinates me and I feel like I havent seen this happen much in other media, much less turn based monster collecting RPGs.

So Eugene is from a future world (seemingly the only party member who is except maybe Barkley but he's a dog so.) It sounds like he's from the turn of the century, maybe 2100 or so, and mentions in his rank 3 friendship that in his world, there was a massive reformation when society as a while realized they couldn't keep fucking each other over and destroying the planet, so everyone worked hard to abolish the kinds of structures that unilaterally hurt people (for instance, capitalism). Sounds like a utopia right?

Eugene only says good things about his world really, how much people value acts of goodness and kindness. But he says it all with such a sad tone, like something he's missing out on, because he thinks he is, he didn't fit in. He says that he wasn't great at being helpful all the time, which is why he wants to do better in New Wirral, a world removed from his own where he can be a better person than he was in his own world.

But the thing is, he IS a nice person. Maybe that's by design, everything he does in New Wirral is about him playing the hero, but it's also oh so clear that he brought his own expectations of goodness from his own timeline and they're just as much of a burden here. Even when hes succeeding, he won't cut himself slack, he says he needs to have a cause to rally behind, or what that archangel said to him would be proven true: he IS empty. Or at least, useless, which is probably the same thing to him.

What really grabs me about all of this though (besides the usual love of angst and guilt complexes and hero complexes and whatnot) is this future of moral reformation. Those are a pretty common historical phenomenon, often involving moral panics and an emphasis on presentation--- what matters is that you LOOK pure compared to others. And poor Eugene just felt like he couldn't keep up just because he has some small selfish impulses, or something in that nature I'd imagine--- I think he'd rather throw himself off a bridge than admit whatever the reason was that he didn't fit in in his own world.

It's easy to see his world being our future, in a way. I'd be delighted if terrible oppressive governments and economic systems were torn down in favor of ones that promote equality and universal well being, but currently moral purity is just as much of a trend as ever--- look at any discussion of book banning, not to mention transphobic legislature, fandom antis and so much more. So this hypothetical future is one where even though the 'right' thing has been done, there's still a subtle form of policing going on to enforce it. Maybe that is successful at keeping cruel practices from coming back. Or maybe it's just traumatizing people like Eugene who feel judged by their every action and pressured to be a saint every single moment of their lives.

One last thing I thought was interesting--- as part of his level 4 friendship rank, Eugene mentions how his parents' generation still seem scarred by the cruelties they endured before this reformation. But Eugene is too young to have lived through it himself so you know what that means?? Generational trauma babyyyyy. He's inherited guilt about a time he wasn't even alive for, along with a pressure to make sure it never ever happens again, so no unkindness is tolerated. It's no wonder this boy has so many issues.

So that's my late night rambles about this guy, probably like 50% of this is just me projecting but it's also fun to dissect what's happening here. Like I said before, it's unusual to see a unique concept like character like Eugene and his world in what appears to be a fun little indie game about turning into monsters with cassettes.

[blubushie]

are you really Australian? As an Aussie who's heard your voice clips you sound very incredibly American for someone who "grew up in the outback". Plus even the worst eshays and truckies I know don't use that much slang. Just wondering.

Yes, I've explained it here before (if you're gonna hang shit on me at least root around the blog a little, it's in my pinned post) but my accent is fucked. I was born in the US, my parents brought me to Australia when I was 2, and I maintained an Australian accent up until I was 15 when my parents brought me back to the States. I went mute at this time and it took a year of speech therapy for me to start speaking again. My speech therapist was from Texas, which is why I have a Texan accent. By the time I was 18 and returned to Australia in April of 2019, the accent had already solidified into the American accent.

Apparently the concussion rung my bell enough to lightly fix some of it and I've got some sort of accent back now, but this isn't expected to stay for long and at random intervals it switches back to American for single words. This seems to be happening more with R-sounds ("water" will come out "wah-TER" instead of "wah-tuh").

I didn't grow up in the Outback, I grew up in Undoolya. That's about 5km east of Alice Springs. Not all that rural, about a 5min drive from town. Plus side, there were only old folks around me who were too stubborn to move further into town, so all I really knew was my neighbours. Downside, I had no friends growing up so all I knew of slang was shit repeated to me by 80yro people. That said I've learnt a lot in my travels and yeah, I play it up on the blog. Part of the charm! :]

Additionally: I saw the bit that was being said in the server about crossing the Nullarbor. IMO the journey starts at Balladonia WA and ends in Yalata SA. That's an approximately 8hr drive, and I stock up on petrol at BP in Balladonia before getting back onto the 90 Mile. Downside is that driving at night means there's animals about, plus side is that there's very very few people on the track. Total driving time usually takes about 8.5-9hr if you count the stopping to refill Matilda's tank and depending on how often I have to stop for other reasons (letting Matilda's engine cool or letting animals cross the road).

Additionally x2: yes it snows in WA. Bluff Knoll is the most popular spot, but during winter the Outback drops below freezing at night and if you're lucky enough to get rain, you might get a very light and crunchy blanket of snow if you wake up before the sun does. It melts within the hour of the sun rising. Luckily I usually wake up before the sun does. This only happened once, at the start of July.

And no, I don't go around molesting roos (and especially not punching them). I used to go around shooting roos, when I was a roo shooter, but I stopped that job after a year because the money just wasn't in it, and I didn't care for the methods my fellow shooters had for dispatching joeys and young at foot. I've only had to straight-arm a roo once--at a park where they were used to being fed by people. I have however had food stolen by kookas. They're very fond of pork jerky while it's air-drying.

[siriannatan]

Family Pressure - scfwhimmy

I think I might have found my comfort ship...

AO3

Jimmy could not for the life of him focus on the movie he Scott and fWhip were watching, huddled together on a couch with a big bag of popcorn and three cups of hot chocolate on their coffee table. All three of them were in their pyjamas and rain intensely pattering on the windows. He tried, he really did but everything that was happening on the screen just wasn't reaching his brain. And not for the usual 'scary movie Friday' reasons. As much as scary movies usually freaked him out today he was just too distracted to register anything. And of course his lovely, handsome, cute, the best in the world boyfriends noticed it.

"You okay Jim?" Scott asked as fWhip paused the movie. "You'd be usually asking how much of the movie is left by now," fWhip added as Scott pushed Jimmy's hair back. He needed to get his fringe in order soon.

"I suppose I'm a bit tired but don't..." Jimmy tried pushing the topic away. He could deal with his own worries without worrying them too for nothing.

"Is it anything to do with that lunch you had with your siblings today?" unfortunately there was no hiding anything from Scott.

Jimmy sighed. No use trying to hide it from them anymore. They both knew how Grin and Pearl felt about Jimmy's boyfriend choices - they really didn't like Scott and had no idea about fWhip. Jimmy even delayed telling them he was back with Scott for nearly a year when they got back together after nearly a year since a rocky breakup. "They don't understand my bruising is just a condition and not anyone being mean to me so they're trying to set me up on dates with their friends," Jimmy admitted, staring at the sleeves of his oversized sweater hiding the bruises that just appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh petal," Scott sighed and pulled him into a gentle hug. "Who now? And when can we go looking for new sweaters? The last batch is obviously not good enough," he asked. Scott was always on a hunt for bedding, blankets and clothes soft enough not to irritate Jimmy's skin and often surprised him with bags of things to try out with a side of his favourite snacks.

"Tango..." Jimmy admitted. All three of them knew Tango. And how easily he'd say yes to a date with Jimmy. "They even brought him along today but I said I'm happy as I am... I don't think I convinced any of them..." Jimmy sighed, curling up more into Scott and pulling fWhip closer.

"So that's why he was bummed out when he came back from his lunch break," fWhip hummed. Secretly he shot Scott a worried look. Actually, no one, not even fWhip's siblings knew the three of them were dating and not just living together. Grian and Gem didn't even know that much. "You should tell us things like this. It's never a bother Jim," fWhip huffed, already he was wondering how passive-aggressive he could be to Tango without it being weird.

"It's not that bad... Just some meddling," Jimmy shrugged and yawned. "I'm kind of used to it..."

"You really shouldn't be, petal, you're happy and can make your own decisions G and Pearl need to understand that," Scott huffed and placed a soft kiss on the top of Jimmy's head. "What other than me they didn't like? Maybe we can fix some of it," he offered.

"Same old thing about you being cold and distant and us not really showing much affection in public. But we have good reasons for that," Jimmy shrugged, absent-mindedly playing with fWhip's hair. Their reason was Gem and Sausage likely having a conniption if they heard their brother has a boyfriend or even worse - two of those.

"Gem and Sausage can go for a walk if they have any problems with my love life, I can deal with them," fWhip huffed. He was practically melting under Jimmy's hands. So much for a tough guy with a bike, piercings, tattoos and a leather jacket.

"Does that mean I can give you a ride to work if the rain keeps up?" Jimmy asked with a small smile. He hated that fWhip worked on Saturdays but for once it would probably be okay. Probably.

"You do know Tango has the same hours as I tomorrow?" fWhip chuckled but it quickly melted into a sigh as Jimmy's nails found a particularly nice spot. "Sure... hmmm. Ack... Scott... How are your hands always so cold?" he yelped as Scott sneakily tickled his neck.

"No idea but I know that I'm not lugging you all the way to the bed," Scott chuckled. "And I'm more than fine showering you in affection whenever and wherever. And I hope you are fine with me dragging you clothes shopping after we drop fWhip at work,"

"I'm more than fine showing off both my boyfriends," fWhip grinned with a wide yawn.

Jimmy didn't mind a mall date with Scott - only that fWhip could not join them - so they wrapped the movies for the night and went to bed. Apparently, the movie wasn't that good anyway. And it wasn't like fWhip liked shopping that much anyway. 

[lizalfosrise]

Hey Rise, it's AK favorites time again. Give me your best defenders. Gameplay, personality, aesthetic, whatever.

Alrighty! Let's place this under a cut:

Launch Faves:

Spot - I see full kemono in Arknights I black out and go feral good yes very nice. That healing smokescreen remains very helpful, and he's just a real solid bro. His VA caught my eye too, since I was watching Raildex that year so I'd been hearing him quite a lot.

Cuora - Roaming baseball turtle is Fucking Invincible. HOMERUN!! Her module lore story was pretty nice in a sledgehammer-to-the-heart kinda way given it was her memory issues + her baseball&bat's origin. Incredibly solid and the first elusive 4-blocker saving our asses and storing up Pure Gold Ingots in the Factories. Homerun indeed.

Croissant - Really cool and fun character (we got her southern US drawl back hooray) with the interesting gimmick of being the push-stroker(they can never live this naming scheme down) defender. Problem? S2 says yeet 'em! No problem boblem. Niche and therefore undervalued at the earlygame, but Integrated Strategies with the Force+2 manual obtained must've made some fun shenanigans.

Gameplay:

All the Fortresses, honestly. They're great in character, in aesthetics and I greatly enjoy having their long-range bombardments. Firewhistle's brought us Burn procs and it's delightful to watch the bonus damage pour in. I can be trusted with the Londinium Self-Defense Artillery cannon emplacements.

Don't use 'em enough but they're fun: Duelist and Sentinels - Aurora is cute and has access to Cold proc manipulation tactics (plus that claw-shaped staked, slim tower shield is a work of art); Liskarm has been a faithful SP battery pistol-shooting down aerial threats while Blitz has the flashbang spam going for him.

Guardians are lifesavers, of course. Gummy's frying pan bonk stuns every third hit can actually be incredibly useful. Blemishine is a far better pick than Nearl due to her Sleep mechanics and yknow, 6* bulk/Skill 3 (she's cool to borrow as a support unit but I don't have her fully invested). Saria is pretty solid here and with regards to character&story, but at the same time I never actually E2'd her until mid-Dorothy's Vision because I finally experienced her Skill 3 and needed her to be beefier for a map clear (or several) that event.

General:

Horn - "YOU WANT TO TOPPLE ME?! BY WHAT?" Episode 9 was so great, and then we suffered a Manfred to the Self-Defense Artillery. That CG towards the end of Ep9 with a heavily-injured Horn pulling the S3 glare at Mandragora after auto-rocketjumping Bagpipe away was phenomenal. Incidentally a major part of why if you have taste you'll understand that Horndragora is the superior toxic yuri pairing rather than suffering that watery tart of a catgirl. I'm more enamored with that heavy-duty shieldcannon though, naturally. The Victorian Army gets all the cool gunlances eh? That VA olive green drab is a wonderful colour scheme too, really. The overheat flame vfx during S3 are a delightful detail on the chibi sprite and for that reason though I'll get that (somewhat mismatched) Lady of the Lake skin, I won't equip it often. But S1/S3 were absolutely outstanding during IS2.

Asbestos - The most tsuntsuntsuntsuntsuntsuuuuuundere foulmouthed foul-tempered vkei-ass Aussie salamander is just so iconic, bless her. Funky and rad design, personality and until Shalem appeared, the only Arts-shotgun shielder. Trying out her Skill 2 in IS2 was pretty fun since I only rarely used her prior honestly. The details gone into fitting her entire theming around asbestos are so so good.

Mudrock - Initially I wouldn't use her due to the 35dp cost buuuut I reached the point where 'This is fine actually' after a while of wanting to properly invest in her and yeah. Fucking incredible with sneak-healing via Perfumer. Spin2Win is forever relevant! We need a skin that brings back the full hazard suit towering over most other chibis though. Really good as a character, her parts in Twilight of Wolumonde were what made that event remotely bearable to me.

Her fellow Juggernaut companion Penance is likewise extremely good in aesthetics, character and as a unit.

Eunectes - Same deal as above, I actually haven't used her so badly she's not actually E2 yet. But I think she's incredibly gorgeous and a very cool Forgemaster. The Acahualla Trio are very, very fun! Summoning her upgraded Raging Ironhide must be a real lovely feeling given how much of a nuisance it is to fight.

Nian - Unemployed. Commando. The only Sui fragment I have at E2. Fellow spice fiend. Many noteworthy things can be said. I greatly enjoy her. We need to see more of the situation with training up Purgatory now going forwards in that storyline. Love that her E2 splash shows the(or at least, her) bestial Sui form has a maw in the chest.

Shoutout: Ace - He would've been male 6* Defender, absolutely, the way he tanked Talulah 1v1 during the Chernobog Exfiltration long enough for every surviving RI Operator to redeploy disengage & evacuate. Legendary guy. There's no Elite Operator covering the Defender class as a Temporary Recruitment in Integrated Strategies, so personally I feel like that's where he might've been.

[supercantaloupe]

no one asked but here are my thoughts on the new met don giovanni from today. tl;dr: a couple of weird choices made but overall Quite good i liked it

elaine douvas jumpscare at the top lol

federica lombardi and ben bliss as anna and ottavio were the standouts to me. lombardi came out the gate STRONG with fuggi crudele and she keeps it up. and kudos to bliss as ottavio; i often find that he can be a pretty uninteresting character if not played carefully and bliss did a really great job making ottavio Interesting. face journey of the year award goes to his dalla sua pace (il mio tesoro honorable mention).

peter mattei sounds great obviously but is it just me or is he starting to get a leetle bit old for the role. not vocally but physically. like him next to ying fang is like. sure man yeah

alfred walker in the same camp honestly. like he did a great job singing masetto but i'll always laugh when like. giovinette che fate all'amore kicks up and they're like "here's the happy young couple :)" and the bass is obviously in his late forties at the youngest lmao

anyone else think adam plachetka looks. kind of like ted cruz. hello?

anyway i liked plachetka a lot largely because he seemed to actually remember that don giovanni is nominally a dramma giocoso and a lot of his little acting choices brought back some of the humor that i thought was a bit lacking in the production as a whole. also christ they bowl that fucking man across the stage a few times don't they

ying fang did a great job too. the lingering terror in her expression during la ci darem so juicy. also that bit in act ii when they're threatening leporello and she balls his shirt up in her fist even though he's like a foot taller than her. love her so much. also woman pretty

i liked stutzmann's conducting for the most part although nothing much Stood Out to me about it. except like two or three tempi i disagreed with and a couple of spots here or there that felt like the orchestra and singers weren't 100% together right away. but idk i'm not a conductor i assume doing a debut performance at the met with a new opera you haven't conducted before is A Challenge so.

a few scenes felt...strangely placid energy wise to me. notably the opening scene but a few other places too including elvira's arias for some reason? in some cases it's like i think more just could've been done with the blocking while nothing much else was going on but in other places there Was plenty of movement it just felt...low energy. idk. where's the hustle i thought this was life or death here

cool use of the fog rising out of the floor of the stage's incline

although the steep rake to the stage led to a few unintentionally awkward/funny (to me.) camera angles. like they were obviously shooting from stage level and it would normally be a straight medium/wide shot but because of the rake it ends up being a slightly weird low angle (especially funny to me when in terms of cinematography language this kind of undercuts the vibe of the character that's being shown onstage at the moment lol but what can ya do. i'm being very nitpicky anyway)

actually the set design in general surprised me. mostly because for like 90% of the show i'm like "it looks kind of interesting i guess but Why So Brutalist And Plain" although i like that having multiple levels lets there be some creative use of vertical space in the blocking. i was so ready to write it off as disappointing/underutilized to me until the very last chorus of the show they actually Do Something with it and it totally surprised me and i really liked it. made me wait for it! surprised me! credit where credit is due i liked that a lot in the end.

i do wonder though if this production would be completely undone with a little more color in it tho. like i Get what they were going for with all the grey and i do appreciate the roses and blood but i feel like you can still do More with a broader but still limited color palette without compromising the vision. at least you could be more creative with the lighting i feel like the met pretty consistently disappoints me with its lighting (which is usually "serviceable" to "attractive" but not really creative or adding all that much to the scene. sorry but musicals are still beating you at this particular game)

although what was with the ball scene. with the mannequins and random period dress for ottavio anna and elvira but no one else. i liked the costumes but what was the point

also that said re: lighting. a cenar teco FINALLY did something interesting with the lighting and projections. cool and i liked it. except for the fact that the projection was up for too long and you couldn't fucking see what was happening on the stage and don giovanni effectively just Disappeared. i realize this was intentional but either make the disappearance much more sudden/short or show me what happens to that little freak otherwise it just feels lazy

great cello in batti batti o bel masetto. liked.

FANTASTIC orchestra in la ci darem and especially its preceding recit. the combo of the theorbo + cello + harpsichord was so atmospheric, somehow adding both to the romantic atmosphere AND the "psychological horror" thing going on in that scene. which i love honestly that scene SHOULD look gorgeous and feel like a lead weight in your stomach and i love that they went there with it.

also sorry but the champagne aria could be blocked way more interestingly. try harder

mixed feelings on the blocking of the ball scene. i thought the choice to have the whole chorus there but be so still and stiff when dancing was interesting, it definitely conveyed the sort of control through fear that the don has on everybody, but at the same time the scene felt like it was missing life. as well as missing some of the chaotic energy i think is necessary to build up over the course of the scene to lead into the climax. plus what is that act finale? kind of a cop out imo not actually showing us a clever escape of any kind. i will give them points however for having the onstage musicians because i am a sucker for that. i could see one of those oboists onstage was playing a cocobolo instrument...preddy.

okay what the fuck was up with gia la mensa e preparata. i get that it can be a weird/tricky scene to block if you're doing a more Serious And Grounded (and/or Edgy) production (and this production i do think leans more towards that and further away from the comedy potential throughout, with some exception here or there) but dude the tonal whiplash. they go like full on farce for like a solid six minutes there it's kind of bizarre. like it's funny yeah but it feels like it comes out of nowhere and doesn't totally fit...like peter mattei didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with your food. although it was funny when he accidentally beaned plachetka in the face with a dinner roll. literally once elvira shows up the rest of the scene is Fine and i actually really like the way it's blocked and acted from that point on but What Was Up With That

also this is going to sound so weird both coming from me and speaking about this opera in particular but. it felt. weirdly not horny enough? also weird to say cause there was an above average amount of people lying on top of each other on the floor going on too but. like. idk. vedrai carino...a lot of elvira's acting...even some of mattei's i felt like there could've been More done in this respect without it pushing into the realm of excessive or distasteful. they really play up the He's A Sexual Predator angle of the character here but with more emphasis on the predator part and less on the sexual part i think. but idk maybe part of this has to do with me thinking walker and mattei look a little bit old and/or me not being generally as into men. ah well

anyway not to be really annoying all the time but if you liked this production (especially a lot of its aesthetic choices) i am once again recommending the 2017 aix production it's on youtube and it's soooo good. and has a Lot of similarities with this one stylistically. and also i love it

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS. 3 , 12 , 15 & 38 // for sally !

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS. || ACCEPTING

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

HMMMM, I would say Sally is forthright with her emotions and opinions a good 70-75% of the time! Sally is just an honest woman at the best of times, for better and worse.

When she is unhappy, you will know she is unhappy, not through cutting words or misplaced anger, but through her face. It was a big reason why she gained such a fearsome reputation in life as an uptight and joyless woman, though this couldn't be further from the truth. As just as often as a person will find her face with a furrowed brow of pain and irritation, they could find her with a small smile and rosy cheeks.

Sally, is, god, I'm not sure how to explain this. But in my mind, Sally's relationship between her emotions and how she lets her feelings show are much like the great lakes.

On sunny days, when the wind is barely above a breath, wavelets can only lap at each other, the waters will seem crystal clear. Radiant under the sun, they're this inviting sort of sapphire blue, the kind you'd typically only see on a postcard, and clear as glass, all the way down to the bottom. You will see the fish as they come and go, the sun as it reflects down onto the silty soil beneath, the forests of algae, down to the massive remains of trees, up to hundreds of feet long, resting where they fell and the shipwrecks. Many, many shipwrecks.

Usually, such a thing would shock and awe a person with dread, but, staring down at them and considering the human toll, but from the comfort of your own vessel? Through the inviting blue waters? The edge of horror is dulled with a morbid sense of beauty and a measure of wonder at the strength of nature. At that moment, the stories of the ships and their crews are forgotten. They seem almost like toys, a tool to demonstrate the unforgiving wrath of nature. And in a way, no one could really blame you. From where you are sitting, the wrecks seem so small and distant. You are hundreds and hundreds of feet above them, carried on the tumultuous, ravenous currents that brought the mighty steel beasts down to heel. You can't understand the whole picture, but it's not your fault. The waters are deceptive. They hide the forest among the trees. The danger beneath the beauty, grace, and charm of its clarity and strength.

That is how I see Sally and how she shows her emotions and by extension, her mind. She isn't just the shipwrecks but the entire lake on her best days. She will carry herself with a sense of unwavering stoicism and strength like the crystal blue waters inviting you, and when you are faced with the shipwrecks and ruins of trees lying at her core. You can't find yourself shaken or concerned. Her strength won't give you any moment for misplaced pity. Traumatic events, horrific loss, and abuse. She'll speak of them with candour and few emotions, a stiff upper lip to hide the intense currents swelling beneath her. Her traumas, and by extension, her moods, will seem almost minimized, by the sheer grace with which she holds herself.

But make no mistake, though her problems, as she filters them to you, may seem small, or even manageable, like toys, easily brushed aside that couldn't even cause a pause in Sally's stride. These great ruins and marks of the pain and horror she has endured are not to be scoffed at. They are just far, far away. Too far for you to realize their immensity and that they are far, far more than a mere blip on Sally's radar.

Additionally, though my metaphor was mainly to illustrate trauma and her openness regarding her pain being both a blessing and a curse for all involved. It goes without saying that in addition to this, she has normalized this practice of biting back & not truly expressing the depth of her emotions beyond what could be a palatable glance for an outsider.

You may know she is emotionally hurting, but not in agonizing pain. You may see that she is amused, but not delighted. Scared but not PETRIFIED FOR HER LIFE. And so on, which may seem dishonest by sheer omission and I can understand that perception! It’s reasonable in all fairness, but from how normalized the practice of minimizing and pushing back her true feelings and their impact has become to her, it’s something she doesn’t even realize she does anymore.

Which ignites a rage like no other when she feels like she is SCREAMING for help and in a crisis but no one will stop to help her

12. What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

God I really can’t think of anything honestly, I hate to be a bit harsh on my girl but she is a fairly serious woman and she doesn’t laugh easily. Most jokes bead off her like water down a duck’s back and the rest, well, they fail to impress in crudeness and delivery. I will say though: the random, nonsensical and unpredictable things that kids come up with never fail to make her crack a grin and chuckle with them, not at them!

15. What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

The most significant difference between when Sally is alone and in the comfort of her home vs. when she is in public, would have to be that Sally is noticeably less... wired, or so to speak. Powered down, in a kind of mental sleep mode! She doesn't feel the need to keep herself on her toes in hyper-vigilance, her guard can lessen and her brain doesn't have to be on a constant 'flicking through all of the tasks on her list and people she needs to remain on top of.' She can afford to slow down and let her brain numb for a while before she gotta get back into that headspace!

38. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

OOOOO, I would say cooking is the number one for her, next to dance! Not because she sucks at either cooking or dance, but rather because the distraction of having other people around her and the pressure of not damaging her social perception leads to her attention being shifted and her making careless mistakes or missing steps!

[fleshforember]

Thanks for sharing <3

It sounds like our situations are very similar. His parents were very bad and he was *much* better than them but that is a low bar.

My dad was the type of abusive that was invisible, subtle and manipulative. I thought for a long time that he just couldn't help it. Our family often talked about him like he was two people because he would just flip on a dime.

I've been putting some distance for years, but I've never been direct because I know he would use my mom against me and we are close.

But literally last week he said something that I think just broke me. Something super dumb and dramatic happened where he walked out of dinner because his friend of 20ish years said something 'disrespectful' & it was kinda rude but that guy is always a giant jerk. In fact his family and mine have often talked about how they could possibly be friends because they are the same person and that person is an asshole.

Anyways, I was on the phone with him and he said "Yeah, he just thinks he can take his anger out on whoever's around. Like yeah, bro, go take that out on your wife and kids, but you don't get to do that to me." He said that. No walk back. No qualifiers. Just kept talking.

And I was just dumbfounded. I mean this guy is worse than my dad. And I always wondered how my dad could be friends with him knowing the vile shit he would say to his wife and I guess I just chose not to think about it too hard. But finally I'm just confronted with the reality. He doesn't even see it as a problem.

And then I started thinking about this situation and I was like. My mom walked out of that dinner with him. She was complicit. And it was like just all of a sudden I realized my 'ally' in this struggle with my father has always been on his side. In everything that happened, she was a victim, but she was also complicit.

And so that last thread of connection to him, and that protectiveness over my relationship to my mom just fell away and I'm just left staring at the wreckage that was my relationship with my parents. And I haven't been talking to them and they're starting to notice and push me, and I just haven't decided what I am going to do.

Sorry. I know that's super long. idk, just looking for thoughts ig.

First of all, I'm really sorry about your relationship with your mother being brought into your issues with your dad. Personally, my mom and dad are divorced, mostly for the same reason why I no longer speak to my dad. I don't have experience dealing with that kind of thing, do I'm sorry if this sounds uneducated.

Sometimes people in relationships like that pick the abusers side because they're afraid of the consequences of fighting back. For the longest time, I was complicit and quiet when my dad would mistreat not only me but also my stepsiblings as well. I didn't want to lose the foundation on which my life was built; one of the people I could rely on most, despite the abuse. I'm not sure, because I don't know all the details, but your mom might be one of those people. It's hard to turn away from an abuser, especially when you love them.

My dad is also one of those people who is intelligent in his abuse. He's charming and helpful in public, and he puts himself above other people. Either no one around me thought he was abusive, or no one cared enough to step in. I'm sorry if this is the case for you.

I sort of learned to rely on myself for support and love when I was with him. I know our circumstances are different, and I had somewhere to go after I moved out (my dad and I got into a nasty argument, and I was pretty much shoved out the door with whatever I could carry), so I ran to my mom. I'd say, if you can, build yourself a good support system. That could be your mom when you guys repair your relationship (if you want to that is) or people around you that you trust. If you're going to do what I did and cut contact, I strongly encourage having some sort of support system ready.

That being said, leaving isn't always the only option. If you're up to it, you could slowly start speaking to your mom again. It really depends on how you feel and the details of your personal life, but if she’s been your biggest support up until this point, she seems like a good person to keep in contact with. Again, completely up to you.

<3

[thomine]

2023 WRAPPED

writing edition for thomine. questions that summarise your writing journey for the whole year. source of these prompts were lost.

thanks for accompanying me on this journey! onward to more words written, more stories shared, and more atrocious alliteration)

Your yearly word count!

a whooping 31,327 words! this does not count stories posted on my older blog. au august really did wonders to my stats, haha. this word count is only for published works, not including drafts. au august was about 24k, which is about 70% of my yearly word count, lol.

Fave fic you wrote this year?

there is so many reasons why something can be a person's favourite... and this year it is probably READY, AIM, FIRE (venti)! i really like metaphors and abstract themes, so it was fun trying to string two concepts that are seemingly not related into a story! i absolutely loved the prompt and the undertone it brought to the story. i also really like venti, and i had tons of fun writing a little bit of the fic everyday.

Fave fic you read this year?

THE FIVE WISHES YOU FULFILLED TO ME BEFORE I DIED, by (@)tartagliaxx! i love the emotional maturity of this fic and how it handles the topic of death so gracefully. the last chapter was something i did not expect (in a sense, i was fooled), but it was a very pleasant surprise and i love the spin of it. there are many beautiful metaphors as the author talks about the experiences of handling a dying loved one which i loved. impressed with this author's stamina because i cannot write a fic this long, lol.

Fave ship you wrote for?

tighnari and reader in REACHING OUT. i wrote this piece when i received news that my friend was travelling overseas and he had no intention of returning. but, even if he did, his absence would impact the friend group dynamic's a lot--and it did--which made me... grief a lot. i wrote this as a conversation between myself and an alternative point of view symbolic of tighnari. however, after the whole year, i realised that reader and tighnari sort of morphed into their own relationship. they're cute (in my head).

Fave character POV to write!

ohhh reader in TUG OF NURTURE (baizhu). in this fic, reader is turning into a zombie, so i had to think about how that would feel like. what even is a zombie anyway? it was fun. an honourable mention would be reader in FOOLISH LOGIC (tighnari), as they are a robot. the issue is that writing in the 3 statement = 1 conclusion can be a bit boring if dragged for too long.

Fave line you wrote!

There are a few who rush through the storeroom shouting for their young master, but they cannot find him.

from SEARCH IN VAIN (xingqiu)! in this fic, xingqiu's role as the second son of feiyun and xingqiu is thinly separated. that is the context that, i feel, makes this line cool. they are trying to find their young master, but they cannot find him. he is not there. instead, it is xingqiu.

WIP you finally finished!

not necessarily finished... but i am glad i tried writing every day for the month of august! it was really fun. being able to write for 12 days straight was inspiring, and that prompted me to make SLO'S MONTHLY REPORT, a newsletter where i hope to share 1 work every month.

WIP you've yet to finish!

i know i don’t talk about it much but i would really like to rewrite AND expand on FOR YOUR SAKE (chongyun). when i wrote it, i was plagued by the idea to the point i had to publish what i’ve already written to give myself breathing space. i had an idea for a 2/3 part story then, but i just didn’t have the energy or time (or effort to fork out both) for this wip. maybe next year!

Your most read fic this year!

probably… READY, AIM, FIRE (venti)? i am not someone who looks back regularly, and often times notes aren’t an accurate indicator for viewership, but i uploaded it to ao3 and it seems pretty loved there as well.

Your longest fic this year!

SERIOUS SCHEMES AND SINCERE SINS (thoma). it was a whooping 2.8k fic even though i limited myself to 1.5k words MAX. but it is thoma, so i had to. funnily enough, my longest fic for 2022 was also a thoma fic! haha.

Your shortest fic this year!

THROUGH THICK AND THIN (mika). it sits at around 600 words. i wanted it to be a drabble (100 words only), but i couldn't do it. maybe another time!

Fave fic title you used!

THE DUET OF ONE HEART (alhaitham)! this is a small symbolism to the fic. although alhaitham and reader are enemies, because they are on equal grounds to compete they understand each other so well, and their hearts "become one". i think it's a nice title because duet = two people, but it's a duet of one heart—a heart of two people combined. do you see it? XD

Biggest surprise while writing this year!

probably the launch of the steambird’s discord! we’re still a pretty small community, but it has been a blast discussing things and sharing posts with them. we have a writing event due and i look forward to that! also, it’s nice to have people to do writing sprints with.

Fave comment you received this year!

being told that there is an air of domesticity in my fics! i think it’s really endearing if a fic has that domesticity, because it alludes to authenticity and also just the general vibe of the author and reader being friends, and the author is telling their story openly. i’m glad my stories come across that way! i write to connect with people, so i like that it is easy to reach (domestic being associated with homely, comfortable, etc).

Fave fic author to read this year!

@andromeda-nova-writing !! my friend uploaded so many fics this year, including a whole world for vampire!ayato. really proud of her, and i adore her skills in dialogue that really adds a beautiful flow to the fics she writes.

Total fics/chapters uploaded this year!

from the tags i use on this blog (assuming i've tagged things properly), i have a total of 22 fics on thomine. most of them are from au august. i hope to write even more this year! final boss is nanowrimo.

What are you looking forward to next year?

writing more long fics! over the years, i realise my ideas are growing in maturity. they’re no longer ideas that can simply be confined to just 1-2k one-shots. they need space to build itself and grow, so i would like to write longer fics this year. may my fics average to about 3-4k words 🙏 i would need to build a stamina for that, so let’s work on it slowly!

[ghostalmost]

been doing a lot of 3 am thinking about all the posts saying ai generated images can't be art because ai can't Create, it can only imitate. and i look back on the time years ago, in another life, when i drew a lot and played music sometimes. i got a great deal of enjoyment and fulfillment from doing these things, even though they could be frustrating too. but i could never come up with interesting ideas to draw or music of my own. even at times when my ability to draw or play music peaked, i've never been particularly creative and that's that. as far back in my life as i can remember, i always just drew characters from cartoons and books that i liked, and probably a couple thousand cats with wings because i saw a picture of a cat with wings in a book once and thought it was cool.

i realize there are some differences here, but still: i was just imitating too. always. i would sometimes try stuff with weird colors or proportions or shading techniques or whatever, but i was always just taking ideas i picked up from someone/somewhere else and playing with them like toys lovingly handcrafted by someone else, never creating something of my own, something new. if the 'Human Element' that people say is missing from ai generated images is some kind of innovation or creativity or uniqueness, then there was also basically no Human Element in any "art" i've ever done in my life.

for years and years i've been quietly hoping that some inspiration and motivation will come back to me some day, and i'll find myself able to start learning how to draw again. until very recently, i never gave much thought to why i want this. is it just because i felt like A Person Who Draws is a good thing to be, or something i was "supposed" to be?

people who create often talk about their art being a way to communicate something they can't communicate in any other way. sometimes there's a sense of urgency there too, like they're about to explode if they don't get some of these thoughts and ideas out of their head and into the world! but since i could never even find any ideas when i needed them, that can't be what i'm after. there's some appeal in the idea of developing a skill and seeing how far i can push it, but shit, i already feel so, so far out of my depth just trying to like... exist, and be a person.

the only clear thing i can think of that i ever brought to my imitation-art that ai can't bring, is appreciation. yeah, it doesn't sound like much because everyone can appreciate stuff, but that just means it's another 'Human Element', doesn't it? i drew steven universe characters because i thought they were cool as hell. i drew cats with wings because i love cats and addings wings to an animal you like is fun. i learned to play the bits of music i learned because i thought it was really nice music. (admittedly throughout all of these i was also kind of desperate to find things i could do that other people would like, so when people liked my drawings and noises it was a wonderful and relieving feeling. but i do think at its core it was mostly about me just really, really liking stuff.)

so.. maybe that can be plenty of reason to try, for me? maybe i can learn how to find inspiration in that, instead of just, i dunno, waiting for it to reappear from somewhere else.

maybe i can somehow develop my ability to perceive and appreciate, to be fascinated and humbled and amazed by everything i learn. maybe i could somehow, someday, learn to visually communicate something about how strange it is that sometimes a single thought or feeling in just one little brain can seem as big as the whole universe, or how the longer i live the more being alive hurts and is really hard and scary and exhausting, but also more profound and beautiful and exhilarating, and maybe worthwhile.

none of this is new at all, of course. i know i don't have anything to communicate that everyone else doesn't already know. this is just standard human stuff i'm talking about, and maybe that's the point.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

On screen, it doesn't even seem like Ed fully, actually knows how Izzy treated him. I don't think he just says "you have nothing to apologise for" to be nice. I think he doesn't really get what Izzy would be sorry for. Selling them all out to the English, maybe? I don't know if Ed understands the emotional hurt Izzy is perpetually doing to him as Izzy's fault, as Izzy's active doing, instead of just Ed's feelings being too much and blowing everything out of proportion. He's been surrounded by people who treat him like this, from his father over his captain to Izzy. And one of the big takeaways Ed has from this life is "I'm unlovable". Not "several people in my life have been dicks to me".

Even in season one, before the big heartbreak, Ed's reaction to Stede being gentle and nice (and romantic) to him is surprise. Wide-eyed disbelief. "What is happening?" He looks gobsmacked over Stede's validating his feelings about the passive aggression. Over the carefully folded piece of old silk. He cannot conceive being forgiven in the bathtub scene at first. Stede did the treasure hunt for him? Unimaginable. And when they're getting back together, after the moonlight kiss, he looks so completely surprised that Stede would want to hold his hand, and that he asks for Ed's consent and comfort about it.

Ed end of the season has accepted that Stede feels the same way about him that he feels about Stede. That they're both all in. And that includes a dash of Ed not being unlovable because Stede loves him.

There is a bit of Ed starting to see that the way people he ended up close to treated him wasn't good or normal. When he's with Pop-Pop, he wonders why Pop-Pop is being mean. I feel like that's a step in the right direction, because he just accepted that sort of stuff from Izzy most days.

But I feel like there are so many ingrained things Ed's not even aware of. How long will he continue to be surprised about every nice and considerate thing Stede does? And how often will he instinctively hide something he likes, or that he feels bad for some reason, because that's the routine? And then he'll realise he doesn't have to do that with Stede at all. Like, fully realise.

And then the 3am moment is really going to hit, because, is this normal? This new thing? This beautiful relationship that doesn't naturally hurt, that feels safe? This is normal? Oh, so the relationship with Izzy was kinda fucked up maybe? Perhaps? 🥺

(Stede's going to one day learn how Izzy brought about Ed's Kraken spiral and be so mad that Izzy is dead and he can't throw him overboard like he threw Ned Low that he's going to yell at the grave for hours.)

It is going to take Ed a long time to emotionally process Izzy's apology.

Intellectually he knows how Izzy treated him.

But emotionally! This man is going to wake Stede up at 3 am and go "I think my relationship with Izzy might have been kind of fucked up...?"

[angrelysimpping]

love interests plus bailey pining for the pc in what they believe to be an unrequited love? and reactions to finding out it isnt?

(DoL relationships; non/dubcon, not explicit; do I even need to say that it’s probably at least a wee bit ooc?)

Long so under a cut it goes

Alex 

Tries to go about their business as professionally as possible. 

You're working for Alex, not with them. This is just a standard employer/ employee relationship. 

But they can't help wondering what it would be like if they confessed. If they reached for your hand or leaned in for a kiss. 

They don’t. They can’t risk it. They need your help too much for you to run off because they couldn’t keep their hands to themself. 

They’re stuck watching. 

Watching you come in from town and leave in the evening. Watching as you work in the fields. Watching as you tend to the animals.

If they sometimes think of you while washing in the shower during the early mornings or when alone in bed late at night? Well, no one can blame them for their thoughts, can they? Thoughts are just that, thoughts. Things they don’t act on. 

They can live like this, with just their thoughts. They’re pretty sure they can, at least.

If they can’t? Well, they can always have a bottle as a best friend. 

Finding you Feel the Same 

There’s no way they heard you right. 

Is this some kind of joke? Their siblings would do stuff like this sometimes, tell Alex that someone had a crush on them just to watch them get embarrassed. 

But, you wouldn’t do that. Well, they don’t think you would. 

And you seem sincere, telling the farmhand you like them.

That you want to work on the farm with them as more than just a helper.

As a partner.

Alex’s partner.

They tackle you to the ground. They just can’t help it!

You like them! You like them back! You want to stay with them! Even though Remy is threatening the farm. Even though they’re just a farmhand and you could have anyone else. They’re sure you could have anyone else, anyone else. But you’re not choosing anyone else!

You’re choosing them. Them!

This is probably one of the best days of Alex’s life.

Avery

They don’t mind. They don’t.

You’re arm candy, nothing more and nothing less. This is a transaction. You make Avery look good, you let them do whatever they want for an evening, and they pay you. That’s that, end of story.

They get angry seeing you walking around town with others because it would reflect badly on them. Avery has status, money; things people would kill for. 

What would their peers think if they saw you with someone else? With a fellow orphan or a creep or a delinquent or a half-wild hermit or a farmer?

That’s why they grip their steering wheel so hard their knuckles go white when you choose to walk to school with that orphan welp. Why they have to keep from grinding their teeth when you dash across the road to duck into the park instead of meeting them after school. 

You’re messing with Avery’s reputation. That’s why they hate seeing you with other people.

Even though none of their peers have actually ever brought you up, that’s why. That’s the only logical reason, really.

It’s not like they’ve let themself get too involved, developed feelings for some no-name orphan. Not like they're pining after you like some lovesick child in a schoolyard romance. No. This is about Avery’s reputation and nothing more. 

Finding you Feel the Same  

Oh.

You’re not looking Avery in the eye as you talk, as you say you’d like your relationship to change. 

Their initial rage at being dumped sputters out as you talk about regular dates. 

How you want to see them more often. How you’ll work hard to make sure Avery won’t regret taking you as a more traditional partner. How you’ll still dazzle others at parties and make sure Avery’s satisfied in every way.

That you’re sorry for putting them in this situation but you couldn’t keep your feelings to yourself anymore. You had to tell them. You understand if Avery just wants to keep things as they are.

It’s all laid out so perfectly, Avery couldn’t have designed a better situation. They get to keep you, exclusively, and never have to admit their feelings. 

What a perfect trophy you are. 

Bailey 

Fuck you.

Bailey doesn’t like you. They don’t. They can barely even stand to look at you.

That’s why they avoid you. 

Bailey still demands their payment, still collects in person, but that’s it. Otherwise, they don’t acknowledge your existence. 

Because what else can they do?

They can’t fucking confess, or anything. Can’t say they vet the people they sell you to the hardest. That they only send you to places they know you can escape from, come running back to them. That they print out those missing posters when you’re gone for too long. That their heart near stops when they find you passed out or that they hate seeing you limping into the orphanage with torn clothes. 

No, they very well can’t go professing their infatuation with one of their own brats.

So, Bailey avoids you as best they can, keeps to themself, and stews in silence.

It’s fine. Bailey’s lived through worse.  

Finding you Feel the Same  

Fuck you.

What gives you the right to come into their office and fucking confess. 

Making things even more difficult because now it’ll always be in the back of their mind. That they could have you. They could see you spread out under them. Could hear all the pretty sounds you’d make. See your eyes glaze over, your mouth drop open. 

Fuck, your mouth. Wet and warm. Between their legs, on their neck, sucking their fingers.

God fucking damnit. 

Get out. Get out of their office right fucking now. 

They have to sort themself out.

Eden

Ah, they suppose it makes sense. Your relationship isn’t exactly a normal one. But, still. They hoped you would have warmed up to them. Maybe even love them, or something close to love, at least. 

Of course, not liking Eden won’t stop them from pinning your down and doing whatever they want to you, whenever they want. 

But they wish you wouldn’t make it such a hassle, each and every time. You don’t fight them, not like you used to, but they’d almost prefer it to what you do now. Going limp under them, letting Eden use you for their own pleasure while you bite back any sound you make, your face turned away from theirs. 

Would it kill you to reciprocate a little? To find some pleasure in your situation, in them?

You’ll come around eventually, they just wish you’d hurry up.

Finding you Feel the Same 

Eden has you under them, pressed into the furs of their bed. 

But something’s different tonight. Something in the air, something in the way you breathe.

You’re still passive under them, still quiet and keeping yourself detached. 

Yet, you seem to be struggling. Biting your bottom lip, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched at your sides. 

Then they hear it, a tiny whimper of their name.

You arch under them, and an unexpected warmth greets Eden.

You came. They made you cum, and you said their name when you did.

That means something, right? 

And then you melt into the bed, sounds spilling from you uninhibited. Babblings of want and need and lust, their name laced throughout.

Eden’s orgasm is the most satisfying one they’ve had since they first brought you home.

Kylar 

It’s fine. Kylar is fine.

You don’t like them right now, but things change. You’ll love Kylar. You have to.

But it’s fine, fine, fine. 

Until you realize your feelings for Kylar, they’ll just have to keep an eye on you.

Follow you a little. Make sure no one tries to hurt you. Make sure you don’t make any silly decisions, like talking to anyone else!

They’re starting to get worried, though. They thought that you would have realized how much you love them by now. 

They might have to take some drastic measures. 

They start keeping some stronger tranquilizers on them.

They love you. They love you so, so much. 

They don’t want to hurt you, but if you can’t see how much they love you? How much you love them? How you need them? They’ll show you. 

Finding you Feel the Same 

This is the most precious moment of Kylar’s life.

Hearing you say you like them? That you love them? Want and need them?

Kylar almost stops breathing. 

They ask you to say it again, over and over. 

Please, give them this. Their heart might explode and they want the last thing they hear to be your voice, specifically saying that you love them.

They love you! You love them! This is all Kylar’s ever wanted! 

When do you want the wedding to be? They really like the idea of a small wedding, out in the forest.

Oh, but what if you have kids first? Then maybe not in the forest, that might be too dangerous.

You do want to get married, right? And have children? Of course you do! Kylar will take care of everything, don’t worry.

But yeah, yeah, they’ll slow down a little. Why rush? You guys have the rest of forever to figure things out. They’ll enjoy the now, enjoy being cuddled up next to you and pressing kisses into you whenever they can.

Hey, uh, can you tell them you like them again? Please?

Robin

Oh, they know they're probably not good enough for you. But that's okay, Robin can live with that. 

They can live with being your friend. They can live with walking you to school and helping you in the garden.

As long as you don't toss them to the side, completely shut them out of your life, they'll survive. 

They can help the pit that forms in their belly when they see you with someone else, but they can't do anything, can they?

You are your own person. You deserve to have your own life. If that means being with someone else? Then Robin is happy for you! 

They might stare at their ceiling all night, fighting back tears, but they're happy for you! 

They don't want to ruin their friendship with you, so they'll just keep all their feelings to themself. 

Finding you Feel the Same 

You what?

You like them? 

Really?

Them? Robin?

You're not dating anyone else? Really? But you're so, you know, wonderful; how could you not be dating someone else?

This is probably the best day of their life. Their cheeks hurt from smiling so much but they can't stop! 

Sydney 

Sydney can deal with this. 

This is what Jordan talks about all the time, is it not? Wanting something you can't have?

But Jordan always talked about lust, and, while that might be some of what they feel for you, it's not the whole of their feelings. 

They're not perfect at hiding their feelings, no, but they refuse to act on them. 

You're one of the few people who are kind to them, despite being a teacher's kid and a temple devotee. They don't want to ruin that. 

It's not like you could possibly feel the same way, so why mess up the one friendship they have?

They can handle this. They can. They will. They have to. 

Finding you Feel the Same  

There's a moment after they realize you like them back where Sydney just freezes. 

You can almost hear the gears turning in their head as they process this new information and everything it means. 

Launches themself at you, hugging you tight. 

They might not say it for a while, but, eventually, they'll tell you how they prayed for this to happen. It's one of the most selfish things they ever prayed for, for you to return their feelings, but they don't regret it one bit. 

Whitney 

It doesn’t fucking matter what you want.

You’re their slut. Period. End of story.

You’re a toy, a plaything. A pet, at best. 

Oh, you don’t like Whitney? Is that why you try to run from them in the halls? Too fucking bad!

So what if they’d rather you came to them willingly? Or if sometimes there’s an ache in their chest when they see you hanging around the loser or the creep? 

Whitney’s always been territorial over what’s theirs, and you’re their fucking property, so it’s only natural they don’t want you fucking around with other people. 

Not without their permission, anyway, and Whitney doesn't particularly feel like sharing. 

Not because of their own "feelings," or whatever. No, they're doing it to spite you, that's all. 

Finding you Feel the Same 

O-of course you like them!

Who doesn't like Whitney?

And you're their slut! 

So, it’s not like Whitney cared how you felt about them, or anything.

They would’ve pushed you around regardless. 

Shut up. Shut up about your feelings! 

They don’t care about your feelings and you’re making you both look stupid!

Say sappy shit in private, yeah?

Wait, no. They meant don’t say sappy shit to them at all. So, piss off, will you? 

They’re totally not thinking about this for the rest of the day.