#i wonder if murderbot noticed that it did that too??

[scificrows]

Thinking about Murderbot and ART again and how Murderbot is so adamant that ART is not its friend and that they can't be friends and okay fine it'll tell the stupid space ship about its traumatic past but only because it keeps pestering it! And alright, maybe ART can help Murderbot and do a little surgery on it and assist with uncovering the Dark Secrets™ of Murderbot's past but it's and asshole and NOT Murderbot's friend!!!

And then when Murderbot mentions ART to its clients on RaviHyral it just immediately goes for the word "friend"??? And I understand that it couldn't exactly say "there's this giant research transport AI in my feed that helps me pretend to be a human" but like. Murderbot, darling, you could have used anything. You're cosplaying as pretending to be a professional human security consultant, you could have said something like "associate" or "assistant" or whatEVER but "friend" just rolled right off the tongue there, didn't it?

Bonus from Network Effect:

[cactusspatz]

March recs

I didn't read a ton in March -- between my birthday, attending SXSW Film (16 movies in one week!), and then getting over the cold I caught at SXSW -- and what I did read was mostly… Harry Potter fic? Yeah, I was surprised too. I've bookmarked only one fic in the last few years since JKR went off the transphobia cliff, so it was a bit strange, but I was pleased to see fandom is persisting in being aggressively queer and/or 'fuck canon' about it.

So I've got 1 Murderbot fic, 1 The Fugitive fic, and 5 Harry Potter fics, plus a handful more at Pinboard.

reasoning made lucid and cool by The_Onion (Murderbot, gen)

Iris is guest-teaching a PUMNT course, so it makes sense for Murderbot to go as her security. Yes, ART is doing most of the job, and yes, they are making Murderbot take a class, but it's still only there for work. It thinks? What do you mean it has to do a group project. "Really, the longer I stayed here, the more it seemed like this was all a ploy to force me into an education module."

A++ Murderbot-ART dynamic, plus Murderbot blowing its cover to save lives, as per usual.

Wikipedia: List of notable manhunts by rastaban (The Fugitive, Sam/Richard)

Categories: Manhunts | US Marshal's Office | Overturned convictions in the United States | Withdrawn drugs | Gay & lesbian figures in the 1990s

Charmingly meta fic from the POV of someone editing the articles about Richard's story. I love the details filling in the case details, and every quote from Sam sounds just like him.

HARRY POTTER

Heal Thyself by astolat (Harry/Draco)

"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.” “What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th. “Oh, I thought you might,” she said. “Well, goodbye.” And off she wandered again in her addled way.

Great redemption arc for Draco with fascinating worldbuilding about magical healing. And competence porn, of course - astolat always excels at that!

the dogfather by hollimichele (gen, Remus/Sirius)

“I’m not a reverse werewolf either,” says the man. “I’m your godfather.”

Wonderful AU where Harry gets adopted by Muggles and Sirius escapes early that I started reading on Tumblr ages ago and finally got around to finishing on AO3 years later.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (Harry/Draco)

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Creative and engaging plot (mystery with intermittent work disasters), and VERY hot.

that’s the art of getting by by sarewolf (Remus/Sirius)

“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry. “Remus…” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.” A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”

Wrenching, gorgeously written AU that digs into Remus and Sirius's trauma, then patiently untangles their grief and betrayal and love so they can start to heal.

Lost and Found by rosie-writes (Remus/Sirius)

Imagine a universe in which Remus never went to Hogwarts. The Marauders never became Animagi, and so Peter had nowhere to run when Sirius cornered him after the Potters' deaths. Peter was the one who ended up in Azkaban, whilst Sirius was granted custody of Harry. Fast-forward six years or so, to a sunny day in April 1988….

Wistful but startlingly sweet AU.

[temeraire]

Hi again!! I finished exit strategy and as murderbot would say this is Too Many emotions!!! Ahhh I ABSOLUTELY agree with what you say about the story highlighting the importance of mb’s agency, that was so clear with the ending of this book. Like the contrast to the end of all systems red when it was facing the possibility of ending up as a ‘pet robot,’ while at the end of exit strategy it was given the choice to live how it wishes, on its own terms as you mentioned. I was so happy the book ended like that, also with the preservation team coming to understand this!! It’s so good!!

Also a random small detail I loved was mb being excited at the possibility of having a documentary on the entertainment feed at the end!! Also also the whole buildup during the book towards mb meeting the preservation team again, it was so well written I felt so nervous and their reunion just gave me even more Feelings!!

I also love art and its relationship with mb so much too!!! I rly hope it comes back somehow in the next 2 books! And I’m extra excited for the novel now!! Thanks so much for the tips, I’ll get started on fugitive telemetry next! Hope u have a great day!! :DDDD

YEAAAAH i really love that the books didnt just have "presaux bought mb's contract up and it was happily ever after" but instead showed that while presaux did what they thought was right, it was still something that mb had no say in. instead mb got to go off by itself and exist on its own terms and come back of its own volition and presaux respected that and they came to a better understanding :D it really is so good like WHO else is doing it like the mb books!!

YES i love how genuinely excited mb is about its media and how emphatic the series is about how media shapes us and our perceptions and how we view things (have you noticed all the times mb mentions how secunits are portrayed in media - terrifying, etc - and how it uses those words to refer to itself?) so it's really nice that mb gets to have that level of agency and control about its own portrayal this time around, as well as being able to Talk to someone about its experiences. and yeah MAN mb meeting the presaux team again :') i love. them

I WILL NOT SPOIL THE NEXT BOOKS but yes i adore art it would be a shame if it never showed up again ;))) i wonder if it will ever make another appearance ;))))

also, it totally slipped my mind, there's a short story that takes place after exit strategy!! it was posted free on tor.com (the publisher), and it's from mensah's point of view. i really love it a lot

[theres-no-protocol-for-this]

Two Journalists and a SecUnit

As tends to be the case, this was discussed in the Murderbot Discord server. Which, if you need a link to it, let me know. It’s an awesome place to hang out.

And this isn’t going anywhere. I just had this moment in mind.

Danny and Kat are literally breaking the law.

Not that it's any of my business. I'm contracted to protect them regardless of how stupid and reckless the two journalists happen to be. So, I'm standing in full armor next to a local corporate office in the middle of the night, watching two people fail to pick a lock that I'm pretty sure is already open because it's broken and sending off error messages left and right.

Danny glances in my general direction and then whispers to Kat, "I think it's judging us."

"It's most certainly not!"

I am, in fact, judging both of them. What I'm not doing is recording their every conversation to hand over to the security company for review and data mining. And the only reason I'm not doing this is because journalists from non-corporate polities are shielded from this behavior through some kind of agreement that I don't care to understand.

It's hard not to get passionately angry when the humans you're supposed to be keeping alive are doing everything in their power to make themselves firmly dead. These two are reporting on the supposed criminal activities of whatever company owns this office. I don't know what those are and, honestly, don't care.

I only care that, if the two idiots in my care die, my governor is going to do much the same to me. So, their continued existence is vital to my continued existence. Yes, it fucking sucks.

"SecUnit, is everything all right?" Kat asks.

She's now fiddling with the depressed security system that runs this place. I've already cozied up to said system -- SecUnits come with all sorts of useful codes for talking to security systems -- and let it know that we're totally supposed to be here. It's in a believing mood, or maybe a little too down to care about intruders, so it's ignoring my two idiots studiously.

And I have to give the system some credit because these two are hard to ignore. They're loud and excitable, and so very human. And now Kat looks worried as she stares up at me, and it's hard to stay angry at these people.

"Yes, ma'am, all my readings remain within normal error margins," I answer, looking at diagnostic reports and scans of the area.

She gives me a look. I have no idea what look it is, with the furrowed brows and the half-formed frown, but I've seen it before. And it usually means she's not going to let it go. Danny tugs on her arm loosely and points to the door.

"I think I've got this," he whispers excitedly. That's the only way he ever whispers.

"Great. Come on. Let's go."

Kat yanks open the door and practically stomps inside. I think her entire experience breaking into buildings comes from entertainment media. Danny's a little bit wiser or more cautious and he looks around first before following his partner in crime. If either of them notice the cameras in the narrow corridor, they don't pay much attention to them.

I have a few choices to make, and I don't like any of them as I follow my two humans into the three-story building. I can ask the security system to stop recording and turn off its cameras for the next hour, but my governor isn't going to like it -- and there's only so much convincing I can do before it zaps me for disobedience. Alternatively, I can let the cameras go and hope the journalists don't end up in jail -- or worse.

I go with option number one and mute my comms just in time. Because, fuck, that hurts. I stumble briefly and Kat turns to look at me. This time, she doesn't even ask if I'm OK. She just walks over and grabs my armor-clad hand.

"You did something stupid, didn't you?" she asks.

Who, me? Nah! I just want to still be alive come tomorrow morning, if that's alright with you two idiots.

"All readings within acceptable parameters," I say because it's a convenient canned response and it's technically true. "My apologies for the unexpected interruption."

"It's no trouble."

"We should hurry," Danny whispers from just up ahead. "Before anyone notices."

The security system doesn't care enough to let anyone know about these intruders. It doesn't even think they're intruders at this point, although it does wonder what's the matter with the humans. It thinks this about most of its humans, though, so I'm not all that surprised.

Kat tugs on my hand and pulls me along, forward, into one of the archive rooms that the company keeps in this little excuse for a building. By now, I'm kind of used to it. Kat has stated that she thinks constructs are basically sentient. She used it as an argument against bringing a SecUnit when her job required her to allow some kind of security along on this trip. And, she's said it to Danny at least half a dozen times now, usually after he says something she deems mean.

"Be nice to the SecUnit," is her mode of operation.

"OK, let's see," Kat says now as she looks around the room. "So, these will be old records. Not old enough to have any hard copies, but the systems they're on should be way out of date. That's what the informant said, anyway."

"And how do you expect to tell the difference?" Danny asks.

"They'll be dustier."

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I poke at the nearest one, which is connected to the feed and absolutely modern. Its interface asks what I'm looking for. Since I have no idea, I ask it where it stores its oldest files. It tell me outright that there are some ancient databases in one of the other data clusters.

Then, I point to the cluster in question and say, "The results of your location query may be available over there."

Danny jumps a foot in the air. Oops.

"Thank you," Kat exclaims and walks over to see if she can connect to the cluster in question. 

She spends the next twenty minutes nodding at one of those old-fashioned displays where she has to touch the screen to scroll through the pages. Danny’s taking notes. I’m standing here, reading over her shoulder and making a running recording that I think Kat might like to see later.

Because, like them or leave them, these two are my humans. And I want to protect them. And maybe even help a little.

[pentanguine]

Favorite books of 2020

So....about five months ago now, I drafted a list of my favorite books of 2020, and then I, uh, didn’t finish it. It languished in a draft gathering dust and I forgot that it existed.

But now it’s done! It’s hideously late and also out of date, because I’d change many of the rankings now (see below), but I decided to keep them in the original order to reflect how I felt when I actually meant to post this.

Gideon the Ninth- What can I say about this book that hasn’t already been said? It’s like nothing else I’ve read before, in the most unabashed, off-the-walls, grandiose way possible. It’s incredibly complex, well-written, goth, and full of memes. There are, indeed, lesbian necromancers in space.

Harrow the Ninth- I read this 500+ page book in one day and didn’t notice an earthquake while doing so, if you consider that an endorsement. There’s so much going on here it almost feels like it shouldn’t work, and yet it does, brilliantly—it’s so intricately plotted you’ll want to reread it immediately because there’s no way to pick up on everything your first time through.

The Starless Sea- This is just a magical delight of a story, with prose that flows like honey: slow, sweet, and delicious. The story unfolds like a series of wonders nested one inside the other, with each section adding another layer of whimsy and metafiction. It’s half a dream, and half a maze.

Young Miles (The Warrior’s Apprentice/The Vor Game)- The Miles books (the early ones, especially) are wild and unrepentant romps through outer space, and reading them was one of the highlights of 2020 for me. When I finished the Young Miles omnibus, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken such pure delight in a book. Even the heavier, more thoughtful moments were part of a well-told, enjoyable story.

The Stone Sky- Speaking of heavy and thoughtful books…The Broken Earth Trilogy is definitely not a light undertaking, but it’s just a masterpiece of world- and character-building. The Stone Sky is the final installment, and it does not pull a single punch in delivering what the previous books have been building towards.

This Is How You Lose the Time War- I keep instinctively wanting to call this a novel in verse, although I think it’s technically an epistolary novel with prose-poem tendencies. In any case, the writing is lovely—lush, vivid, sensual, romantic. I recommend reading this one with your poetry glasses on.

Cordelia’s Honor (Shards of Honor/Barrayar)- I tried to limit myself to one book per author on this list, but I didn’t succeed here. I loved the Vorkosigan saga too much, and I had to include the omnibus about Miles’s mother, Cordelia, whose life and personality could easily be the focus of another half-dozen volumes. (And if you’re looking for a well-developed m/f romance, you’ve found it here)

An Unkindness of Ghosts- I think this is the book that kicked off my sudden interest in sci-fi last year. It’s dark and beautiful, definitely character-driven, and everyone is truly strange in ways that protagonists rarely get to be. It’s also got one of the loveliest, most satisfying endings I can imagine.  

Code Name Verity- An incredibly intense YA book that delves deep into one of my favorite fictional themes, Morality. It’s a rollicking spy adventure novel that focuses on a close friendship rather than romance (although you can read it as sapphic if you want), with descriptions of flying over England at sunset that made my heart ache.

The Raven Tower- I enjoyed this story for reasons probably particular to me—I like long digressions into abstract questions like “How do we exert power over the world?” and “Where does the meaning of words exist?”, and entire sections of The Raven Tower are devoted to the inner meditations of a very contemplative rock. It’s also a retelling of Hamlet, if that’s more your speed.

Network Effect (and Murderbot novellas)- I’m going to quote my immediately-after-finishing review: “Murderbot always gives me feels. I would love to give a more literary summary, but I’m still overwhelmed by the tentative vulnerability of two bots being best friends and watching TV together after [redacted].” The first Murderbot novel definitely did not disappoint.

The Monster of Elendhaven- Decadent, blood-soaked, and morally depraved, it’s kind of like The Picture of Dorian Gray by way of Hannibal (NBC), with probable influences from a dozen other macabre works and no restraint whatsoever. Reading it felt very self-indulgently delightful.

Before Mars- A deliciously unsettling sci-fi thriller with a refreshingly blunt, unsentimental female protagonist. Also definitely an …interesting book to read at the end of March 2020, but explaining why would definitely be a spoiler. Suffice it to say that the book goes dark places not advertised on the tin, and it made me cry.

Orange World- Karen Russell is one of those writers who make you wonder “how did they come up with this?” Every one of her stories is a totally original marriage between two wildly different concepts (like a Bog Maiden and high school romance, or new motherhood and the devil), and they’re a nice blend of literary and fantasy that I love.

Something That May Shock and Discredit You- It’s so hard to rank this one, because its two primary concerns are Christianity and transness, one of which means very little to me and one of which is breathtakingly important. I couldn’t justify putting it any lower, because it made me feel an ungodly number of feelings, but I couldn’t really justify putting it higher when a solid third of the book went right over my head.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January- A truly wondrous novel, one that fully immerses you in the delight of storytelling and imagination, and the power of escaping to other worlds. It’s very much in the tradition of “books that pay tribute to the love of books,” and an homage to a hundred portal fantasies before it.

Braiding Sweetgrass- I’ve got such a fondness for nature writing that doesn’t even try to be scientifically detached, and instead leaves you with the feeling that the trees and fields around you are bustling with (nonhuman) people.* Kimmerer’s writing is steeped in indigenous ways of knowing, and emphasizes the respect and reciprocity we can hold for the natural world. It’s lovely writing, and I can’t recommend the book highly enough.

Call Down the Hawk- Full of all the ingredients you expect from a Maggie Stiefvater book: fast cars, ancient magic, questions of art and truth, and borderline overuse of the word “cunning.” Every time I read one of her books I want to start taking notes, because she’s got such a signature style that’s both poetic and readable.  

The Unspoken Name- For some reason I wasn’t much into epic fantasy last year, but I’m glad I gave this one a try. I love morally grey characters, of which there are plenty, and the plot took a number of refreshing twists and turns.  

A Memory Called Empire- Not a fast-moving read, but perfect if you like your sci-fi novels poetic, complex, and intellectual. The worldbuilding is incredibly immersive, in a way that reminded me a bit of Ursula K. Le Guin, and I remember this stuck with me for weeks after I finished it.

*Let me be a nerdy weirdo for a second: Most of the time Kimmerer is writing about New England, an area I’m not really familiar with, but “The Sound of Silverbells” is set on a mountain somewhere in the South, and I adored it. Suddenly she was writing about dogwoods and redbuds and poplars, and I was sitting there going “!!! Those are my friends! My friends are in a book!”

Changes I’d make now:

Bump The Starless Sea down a couple pegs, maybe to #6

Swap out Cordelia’s Honor and Young Miles

Bump The Raven Tower way down to #16 and bump A Memory Called Empire a few spots higher, maybe to #17

Braiding Sweetgrass can go up where The Raven Tower was

[godoflaundrybaskets]

I wrote a little Murderbot piece for the Audio Garden challenge in voice team and then my wonderful team helped bring it to life in audio form. I’m so happy with how it turned out. :D

Cover art was done by the ever wonderful [arkadyevna]!  You can listen to a podfic of this and leave comments/kudos over [here] on ao3. 

***

Mensah rounded the corner and saw me coming from the other direction. I saw her coming from the security cameras placed all around the transit ring and had been tracking her so I could intercept her since I’d left my assigned room.

“SecUnit, what are you doing here?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

It was still novel to be able to refuse to answer questions when asked. I’d had a week where I’d refused to answer any questions at all that weren’t directly pertinent to security. While I had the ability to do so before coming to Preservation Alliance, it would have been impractical given I was still pretending to have a functioning governors module.

The ability was also convenient now, since I wasn’t entirely sure of the answer myself. ‘I hadn’t seen her in a day, outside of a view screen, and I was worried’ didn’t seem like a pressing reason now that I was here and she was all right.

Mensah folded her arms and leveled an annoyed look at the wall behind me. But then she sighed and I could see the tension leave her shoulders, “There’s no reason. I’m just frustrated— But now’s not the time to talk about it.”

"Want some company?"

"Yes,” she said and her shoulders slumped a fraction more. I could feel my face twisting into something... I wasn’t quite sure what.

Related, the subject of identifying emotional states had come up around Ratthi two weeks ago. Please don’t ask me how, I’m still considering purging the whole event from my memory. Anyway, it led to Ratthi offering to find me a course on emotional intelligence and I think it was a joke but I was too horrified at the thought to stick around to find out the punch line.

I verified that the course does exist. It feels like a threat.

We kept walking and I saw a person in the transport ring notice us. I found a security camera and zoomed into zirs face. I was also bombarded in the feed with zirs vital stats which ze was apparently broadcasting.

Why humans thought this was a good idea was beyond me. It was less common here in Preservation Alliance than it was in the Corporate Rim, but it was still more common than I understood. Not that I couldn’t have gotten access to the same details from MedSystem through SecSystem but at least it wasn’t being broadcast publicly.

Ze waved and veered towards us, though once ze caught sight of me, I could tell ze was reconsidering stopping to chat. I wished ze would but unsurprisingly, my wish was not granted. Ze reached us and said, “Mensah, hey!”

"Hi Ansah. This is SecUnit, my friend."

Ansah nodded. "Just wanted to stop by and ask if you could get someone to stop by my office and water my plants? It totally slipped my mind and you’re the first person I’ve encountered,” ze gave a short laugh.

Apparently humans really did do this kind of thing outside the entertainment feeds. I always thought it’d been just a way to heighten the drama by only confessing love or that you were secretly the stolen daughter of your mothers clone when on the way somewhere else. It’d always seemed extremely impractical especially when the feed was there for you to submit messages through it anytime and anywhere.

“Sure, I can speak with one of the station personnel and put in the request for you. I’m sure we’ll be able to find someone.”

“You’re a lifesaver!”

“It’s no trouble.”

“Anyway, sorry to ask and dash. I'm going to be late if I don’t hussle! I need to get to the docking rink before my transport takes off without me. Nice to meet you, SecUnit," zirs voice lilted upwords as if ze was unsure if it was nice to meet me. Which was fair. I wouldn’t have been sure either, though I could think of worse ways to be introduced to a SecUnit. People in Preservation Alliance had it off easy. Ze gave Mensah a wave, gave me an uncertain nod, and then rushed off.

Once she was out of earshot I asked, "Did you have to lie?"

“Would you have prefered another term?”

I did. Or at least I preferred that not be used, but I didn’t actually have a better way to describe our relationship any more. Client is what I would have said in the past, but it was more than that now. Guardian— Ha! That one had the benefit of being legally true, at least for now. The full citizenship bills were still being worked on and discussed and all the boring human stuff I did my best not to care about until I was required to. Law was a lot less interesting outside of the dramas.

Probably realizing that I wasn’t going to answer, she changed the subject. “Alright, SecUnit. I suppose we should finish picking up my lunch before I run out of time to eat it.” Through the feed she sent me the feed signature for joking.

I shrugged. She knew I didn’t eat which meant she knew I was here because of her and that I already knew that she knew that. She had to know that I knew she realized that I wasn’t fooled by the subject change but she still performed the actions anyway which had to mean that she knew that I—

Sometimes these things get away from me.

Mensah nodded and set off towards where several food sellers operated. Through the feed she sent Thanks for coming. I know you were off duty.

I sent an acknowledgment and added a smiley face. Off duty was another new thing I’d gotten to enjoy since coming to Preservation Alliance. It gave me plenty of time to organize and watch my media. Plus, it was nice to be around people that weren’t actively annoying me. By which I mean, it was nice being around Mensah.

I queued up an episode of Sanctuary Moon to start playing while we walked. I was still of duty after all. From the security camera, I saw Mensah glance at me sideways and smiled. It was a nice day and I hoped I hadn’t jinxed it.

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part four

In which Sarah Connor suffers for the cause in the most ironic way possible.

(one, two, three)

I've already waxed poetic elsewhere about the "My entire body is a weapon"/ "Save it for the ladies" exchange, but let's just say the Rev-9's claim of "Metal hip - two tours in Afghanistan" is a) a great manipulation, and b) might even be true - certainly the part about the metal hip is! And the "thank you for your service," / letting him pass through is just... the irony... I can't even...

(and also, this MAKES SENSE when you realize that Legion was designed to process people and manipulate/control them and THAT'S why he's so good at it).

Sarah Connor gets picked up by a smarmy dude named Officer Rigby. "You belong in your own private cage," he tells her. He's probably going to die soon, and we are not supposed to be sorry about it. (And meanwhile, some random dude yells in the background, "I want to go, too!" No, you don't. Trust me.)

Grace does not believe in bureaucratic bullshit. And she won't accept "detainees" instead of "prisoners". YASS. At least there's fresh meds for her.

Oh! I just realized why she steals the guy's clothes.. it's because nothing else would fit her. It's tough being so tall.

Grace pulls the fire alarm and Sarah recognizes an opening when she sees one and manages to kick Rigby in the groin and take him and both her guards down with both hands in cuffs behind her back. LEGEND. Kyle Reese would be so proud of her, especially since he pulled the same stunt back in T1 in the police station sequence. 

Grace starts opening doors and people rush to get out, oh please let this not be a slaughter.

The dude who was with them (Flacco?) slams the door into the Terminator's face and he gets punched into a wall for his trouble. I hope he survived...

The Rev-9 jumps UP into the rafters, holy shit, and is scrabbling over the metal fence like the Rev-7s in the future scene, and it's so a) predatory and b) so feral and inhuman... and that guard who sassed Dani looks terrified as hell as she faces him down.. and gets slashed for her troubles.

Slaughter ensues, but only people in official uniforms thus far... Every one of them is mobbing the Rev-9 and just getting stabbed.

Oh, good, they found a helicopter. Someone gets punched out the door after them, and you think it's the REv-9 who did it, but it's actually Sarah! YASS. Dani wants to wait for her and Grace wants to get away. Dani doesn't want to leave Sarah (hey, callbacks to earlier!) and jumps out of the helicopter with the gun as the REV-9 runs at her. Dani starts shooting the REV-9 which is very cathartic for her, but Sarah tackles her and pulls her into the helicopter. The REV-9 jumps for it, but misses, and falls the ground and just looks... annoyed despite having no expression whatsoever.

The REV-9's accent with the sheriffs is interesting. There's the same "good ol' boy" attitude as "That's a nice bike" in T2 and the same cut back to our heroes that speaks volumes.

Cut to a forest in Texas. I have no idea if this is botanically accurate or not because I have no experience with Texas flora. But there are pine trees and maple trees, I can tell you that much.

I like how Sarah and Grace are ready to draw when they knock on the door of this ordinary-looking house in the woods, and Dani just looks at them like they're crazy.

Hey, and it's the same music as in the prologue, as Sarah recognizes the Terminator! He says her name and she raises her gun to shoot him except that Grace intervenes and she hits the ceiling.

“My name is Sarah Connor, you killed my son, prepare to die...” No, okay, she doesn’t actually say that, but I’m gonna do it for her.

Sarah stalks off when they won't let her shoot the Terminator. Dani and Grace exchange a look, and Dani goes after Sarah while Grace deals with Carl (his nom de... paix, I guess). They have the ... "So you're a cyborg, too?" talk, which goes about as well as you can expect.

Poor Sarah looks so broken sitting outside alone. Dani uses her people skills to rally her. Sarah's admission that she never took photos of John is a) heartbreaking, and b) good tactics, especially given how previous Terminators used photos, and how the REV-9 uses facial recognition software.

Sarah's sarcasm as she contemplates Carl's family photos is biting and hilarious and poignant especially given what she just said to Dani (and how a photograph was what brought Kyle to her in the first place). MY HEART.

We are meant to parallel Carl's treatment of Alicia and Mateo with Sarah and John, and Sarah and Carl in "Without purpose, we are nothing". The irony that Carl understands Sarah in this way, and that Sarah has been getting her raison d’etre from a Terminator the whole time... way to lay on the pain, writers!

I've heard a lot of critique of this film claiming that Terminators just wouldn't act like Carl, and I think that's not accurate. What exactly do people think a Terminator WOULD do after they finished their mission instad? It's not like Skynet or Legion or whatever gave them any other programming, and we know from T2 they can't self-terminate. So what are they supposed to do, just stand there??

Even though Carl doesn't have his chip removed the way the T-800 in T2 did, Terminators are very accomplished at learning and mimicking humans. They are adaptable. And I think the filmmakers are right that the T-800 would try to find a new mission--paralleling the old one--to give his life purpose. I think this is a very plausible plot device, and also a great opportunity for irony and parallels, which this franchise thrives on and I personally love.

(There's great fic from Carl's POV on A03 by Tyellas that expands on this that I LOVE, so you should all go read it RIGHT NOW.)

I also LOVE the growing parallels not only between Sarah and Carl, but Carl and Grace that the film keeps emphasizing YASSS.

Sarah is NOT PLEASED to learn she's been manipulated the whole time by the robot who killed her son.Understatement of the year. I was wondering when she was going to shoot him!

"Do you believe in fate, Sarah?" OW, MY HEART.

Oh. Interesting. So when Sarah destroyed Skynet, she released Carl from his programming, thus allowing him to learn?? Okay, I'll buy it. Which means that Carl was released at the same time as the other Terminators in all three films (though we get into the simultaneity problem, but that's a headache for another time). It's plausible if I don't think too hard about it, so I'll buy it. I wish people would stop calling plot elements they don't like/agree with "plot holes". That's... not what it means.

[so who is sending the other terminators? Are they from Legion or Skynet? what is their purpose? Since Sarah is a wanted woman in America, it makes sense if she was killing Terminators in Mexico, which makes me wonder if she's been protecting Dani until now???) I have a feeling the film will not answer this question.]

There's a dog curled up at Carl's feet when they cut to the next scene. This is NOT a plot hole, as some people have claimed. This is actually a clue that Carl IS as human as he claims to be... i.e, he seems to have mastered whatever subtle cues that makes the dog recognize him as human, and not a foreign predator. Obviously, YMMV, but I don't see it as a plot hole.

The secret storage armory is de riguer for a Terminator film, but I also enjoy the deadpan social commentary about human barbarism coming from a reformed murderbot. "And also, this is Texas." He's definitely living in the right state for that.

Wow. The training lesson at the shooting range was everything I could have hoped for. I love Sarah's wry smile as the watermelons explode.

OF COURSE SARAH CONNOR "KNOWS A GUY" with an EMP, lol...

Kudos to Carl for getting his family out of the way and for preparing him for this day. But it's clear he won't be back.

... how about that leather jacket and sunglasses? because he's about to start being way less human and way more machine.

oHHHHH he leaves the sunglasses behind, I was NOT expecting that. NICE WORK.

hello rev-9 smashing the family photographs, that's not symbolic of anything at all.

Hey, did they take all the guns with them or is the REv-9 going to use them against their owner?? was leaving the photo of the van on the fridge intentional? Too early to tell! Either way, ironic given Sarah's caution with photos earlier!

Sarah's withering expression as Carl lectures about interior design is GOLDEN.

I now want a road trip movie about this dysfunctional found family. I cannot believe they are only together for less than 24 hours. Thank goodness for fic.

"I don't commit treason for just anybody," is such a great line and one of my favorites in this film.  

Of course the EMP is probably going to disable/take out Carl AND Grace AND the Rev-9 because that's just how this kind of movie works, but there you go.

Sarah telling Carl to shut the fuck up is GOLDEN, they work so well together. Mommy and Daddy, indeed.

AHHH, the major bringing them the EMP on the sly gets shot. It's tough being a minor character in these films. Dani pulls him into the van but I can't help but notice in that position he's a human shield.

Okay, so leaving photos on the fridge was NOT intentional... maybe Sarah should have had an op-sec chat with Carl about that??

Oh, hey, the flesh-like bit of the REV-9 jumped out of the copter while the chassis keeps flying. That's a neat trick. And the moment where the fleshy bit jumps in and they merge is always cool.

Okay, so they're going to the air base. I guess another fight is in order. Ah, this is where the planes are coming in. Apparently, Grace is piloting. That answers my question from the trailer.

They just run the van right up the ramp and the Major is there to take awkward questions. "District contractors" indeed. I hope he'll survive this movie, but I have my doubts. Oh, he's not going with them - I don't know if that increases his chances or not. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO HE AND SARAH HAVE ANYWAY??

They didn't bother to close up the back before taking off??? Wow. Okay, I guess that works...

Carl uses himself as a shield for Sarah, which just makes her mad...

The Rev-9 flips out of the burning helicopter onto the ramp, and Carl just takes him down and shoots him. It doesn't take, but it's pretty glorious. SARAH AND DANI ROLL THE VAN OVER HIM OH MY GOD.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure the Rev-9 will be back... in an EVEN BIGGER PLANE.

Oh, so the EMP is dead...? Maybe they can improvise something.

Flasback! Dani beats the punks that are harassing Grace and talks the last guy into not shooting her because "this is what Legion wants us to do". FUCK YEAH.

"FUCK FATE" is basically the motto of this series (and a slightly more concise, if vulgar, reframing of "no fate but what we make for ourselves" or "no fate" in T2).

OH MY GOD THAT LOOK ON FUTURE!DANI'S FACE WHEN SHE RECOGNIZES GRACE...

"You are the future" - okay, this is very moving and dramatic, but I feel like Grace should have mentioned this back on the TRAIN why the fuck did she wait this long.

"You're John..." Sarah gasps... and just adopted a kid. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, Y'ALL. Carl was right, she needs a purpose or else she’s just going to self-destruct.

YESSSSS, I love it when movies answer my questions: apparently future!Dani told Grace not to mention it earlier, because younger!Dani wouldn't be able to handle it. Ah, the ouroboros of causality... I'll buy it, but I still think the film would have been stronger if they had had this conversation earlier on the train.

plane vs. plane hijinks ensue. Grace puts the ship on autopilot so she can actually do stuff. There's a lot of flailing as the ship starts to explode. The REv-9 climbs aboard and uses his oozy bits to rip all the flesh off Carl's hand. There's a humvee with a parachute, but the way the scene is laid out, it's kinda convolunted, but okay.. ... They bust the door open so the humvee can drop out. Carl pins the chassis to the plane but the oozy bits escape and go running free towards them. The plane explodes seconds after the humvee pulls free and parachutes to the ground.... okay.

Sarah Connor's "Aw, fuck," as they land on the hydroelectric dam is GOLDEN.

[andtheniwrotemarvel]

Trust

dad!Phil Coulson x Reader Assumed female reader Word Count: 1440 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O2Lbmwuyyc

I love realizing that I'm not the only one that absolutely loves Baby Coulson so huge thanks to all y'all out there that love her with me. This one goes out to Wattpad user berryninjago who introduced me to the song Agent Coulson by the Doubleclicks and like?? Guys. We all need that song.

Also! I'm going to be at FanX in Salt Lake City on Friday, April 19th. If anyone else will be there that day, please say hi! You can DM me for details if you want. I'd love to meet y'all!

"You're doing that thing again, Coulson," Fury said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"That thing?" you asked. "Do clarify."

"The exact same thing you did after New York."

"And that is?"

"Don't play dumb when it comes to ignoring your mental health," Maria chastized you. "You're not subtle about it."

"Well, I'm sorry that I have resting depression face," you scoffed.

"You didn't have resting depression face before you were depressed," Fury said pointedly.

You stared him down, and he stared right back, his eyebrows raised.

"I may very well regret telling you this, but you, (Y/N) Coulson, are one of the few people that I trust," Fury admitted. "It'd certainly be nice if you'd do the same."

"You know, funny thing—I did trust you, and then you died, too," you snapped.

"Too?" Maria pressed.

"Everyone I care about always ends up leaving. They die, or almost die and come back different and distant and cold. I'm just sick of this, and I can't deal with it anymore," you vented. "I'm done losing people."

"Aren't we all?" she chuckled sadly. "It wasn't like this before, losing friends left and right."

"Either to death or betrayal," you added bitterly. "I don't feel like I can trust anyone anymore, not after all of this 'Real SHIELD' crap Bobbi and Mack are pulling."

"Really can't even trust us?" Fury asked, a solemn and humble air to his voice.

You looked back and forth between him and Maria before taking a breath and giving your answer. "I want to, but I can never tell what else you're hiding from me."

"You used to be okay with that," he said.

"That was when SHIELD's secrets were still affordable," you shot back. "I don't know exactly how separated you two are from SHIELD, but secrets are tearing us apart right now."

"I realize it was idealistic of me to think that SHIELD could recover from this," he sighed.

"I thought it could, too," you admitted. "But this is coming from a twenty-two-year-old girl that's spent her whole life with SHIELD. I don't think I can imagine my world going on without it, and that's my problem."

"Does your father know that you feel like this?" Maria inquired.

You stared down at your boots, hating yourself for the answer you were about to give.

"No."

Neither Fury nor Maria had a reply. Phil and (Y/N) Coulson were the father-daughter duo that they knew for their honesty and near inability to keep anything from the other. For you to keep your depression and borderline identity crisis from him, you couldn't have been in anywhere close to your right mind.

"I feel like I can't tell anyone anything anymore," you said, choking on your words. "Everyone else is going through so much right now, and I shouldn't burden them with my feelings, too."

"Don't lie to yourself. Your feelings are just as important as theirs," Maria stated with conviction. "If they confide in you, then you can confide in them."

"But they don't confide in me! They haven't done that since my boyfriend died. They keep saying that I can talk to them, but I just can't do that. I have this stupid, ridiculous sense of pride that I have to keep up for no reason, and I can't even drop it around my own father anymore!"

You felt tears starting to sting your eyes after you finally admitted what you'd been keeping inside for so long. In an attempt to keep them from spilling over, you laughed.

"Who knew that Nick Fury and Maria Hill would just end up trying to help a kid with her mental health?" you chuckled, a bitter edge to your voice. "I know for a fact that you both have better things to do."

"Not when that kid is one of Earth's strongest defenders. I have nothing better to do," Fury countered. "You're an Avenger, (Y/N) Coulson. You're the only SHIELD agent that can still say that."

"When we get to Sokovia, your voice might the only real voice of hope they've heard during this whole ordeal," Maria added.

"Who, the citizens?"

"The Avengers."

--

You noticed the Maximoff girl sitting by herself on the trip down to safety. No tears trailed down her cheeks, but you could see the pain she was feeling in both her face and her posture. She sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, her face resting on her knees.  The body of her brother rested a few feet away from her, but no one could bring themselves to look at him.

You recognized her posture as your own. She was lost, and she saw no one that could guide her.

"I wish I knew how to help her, too," a sudden voice came from next to you, disturbing your thoughts.

"Everything I can think to say sounds like everything I hated people telling me when I lost my father," you said, not bothering to turn to face the man belonging to the voice, instead favoring your boots. "I'm not exactly the poster-child for grieving, though."

"How would you define a poster-child for grieving?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"Probably as someone that doesn't get stuck between anger and depression for years."

You finally turned to look up at Steve Rogers to find his piercing blue gaze meeting yours unwaveringly. Despite the dirt and sweat on his face, his expression was soft and open, ready to listen. His arms rested on his knees, and he really just looked like a concerned mom.

Despite yourself, you smiled and looked back down at your boots. "You don't look like you've had the best day, Cap," you jived.

"Really? Imagine that," he wondered sarcastically. "You'd think I'd look just fine after punching murderbots all day."

"Oh, you still look plenty fine," you teased him with a sly smirk. "Tired and done? Kinda dirty and gross? Undoubtedly. But you're still pretty easy on the eyes."

"I could say the same thing about you. Funny, though—you were only punching murderbots for five minutes and you look about the same as I do."

You raised your eyebrows. "So that's how it is, huh?"

"Oh, that's how it is."

"And I thought you were supposed to be made of chivalry or something like that."

"What do you call catching you when the city started falling?"

"Common sense?" you answered, a little bewildered. "I would have done the same for you, no chivalry necessary."

"Even though my weight would have pulled you down with me?"

"Wouldn't have even run through my mind," you admitted, shrugging. "Next thing I'd have known, I'd have been falling right above you without the slightest clue as to why."

"I'm glad that's not the way it happened, then," he laughed. "Can you even imagine what your father would say about that if that's how we died?"

You let out a real laugh for the first time since you'd lost Trip. "I honestly have no idea. I'll have to ask him," you chuckled. You caught your slip immediately and recovered before Steve noticed. "Add that to the list of things to ask my dad when I die."

"Not if I don't get to ask him first," he challenged you, relaxing in his seat.

"You're not seriously initiating a race to see who dies first, are you?"

"With all of the crazy stuff we get into, it might as well be, right?"

As he smiled at you, you finally felt like the world was stable for a second. You could ignore your problems and enjoy the moment with him. It was just you and Steve.

And Clint Barton.

"Hey, Cap, instead of flirting with the hired help, how about you help me over here?" Clint called to Steve.

"Hired help?" you scoffed. "Flirting?"

"Yeah, don't mind him," Steve said. "He's weird."

"You act like I haven't known him practically my whole life," you responded. "Weird is an understatement."

"And how about nosy?"

"Not usually," you remarked. "Maybe he's jealous that you might be getting action and he's not?"

He guffawed as he stood up. "You know he's married, right?"

"I'm sorry, he's what now?" you inquired, mildly offended. "Barton, how come I've never met the missus?"

"None of your business," he answered tartly.

"I'll give him that," you acknowledged to yourself. That's still kinda lame, though, you thought.

There was another secret someone was keeping from you. You scowled to yourself and told yourself not to think about it that way, but it was hard not to. It seemed that all your life was now was finding out retroactively about secrets that had been kept from you.

There were always more secrets.

More lies.

More betrayals.

Trust no one.

It's not like anyone trusts you anyway.

Tag List:  @shamvictoria11 @cookies186 @sweeneytoddler @shuriwithparker

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, once.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seven (30.43% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Significantly flawed, and well-known in fandom for it. Unpopular opinion? I still think it’s better than the first Avengers film.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Natasha and Laura pass in a single-line trade. It’s sooo close to not counting.

Female characters:

Natasha Romanoff.

Wanda Maximoff.

Maria Hill.

Helen Cho.

Peggy Carter.

Laura Barton.

FRIDAY.

Male characters:

Tony Stark.

Steve Rogers.

JARVIS.

Thor.

Clint Barton.

Strucker.

Pietro Maximoff.

Bruce Banner.

Ultron.

Sam Wilson.

James Rhodes.

Ulysses Klaue.

Heimdall.

Nick Fury.

Erik Selvig.

Vision.

OTHER NOTES:

Everyone talking about Strucker like we already know who he is...

The “Shit!”/”Language!” gag was funnier before they hung a lantern on it. Not least because it takes almost a full minute before Tony harks back to it (fifty seconds, actually. I checked). If you’re gonna make a Thing out of it, you gotta follow up immediately, not after fifty seconds of cutting around to different character intros and action shots and a whole lot of other dialogue. 

Urrgghh, ok, I’m going to break my standing rule about not discussing source material, because we gotta acknowledge the colossal wrongness of re-writing the Maximoff twins - canonically Jewish Romani - as willing volunteers in a Nazi science experiment. It gets worse the more you think about it. There are a few things about this movie which generated significant negative outcry, and this incredibly offensive decision is one of them.

Tony and Thor fighting over who has a better girlfriend does have a certain charm to it. If you’re gonna have a testosterone-off, it might as well be about how great your partner is.

I got a zero out of ten on this out-of-nowhere forced romance crap with Natasha and Bruce. We’ll come back to this later.

“I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta,” Tony declares, as he prepares to lift Thor’s hammer and thereby theoretically take charge of the Nine Realms. Primae noctis (believed to in fact be a myth) refers to a supposed Dark-Ages law that granted lords the ‘right’ to take the virginity of any newlywed peasant woman who lived on their land. So, this is a wonderful little rape joke from Tony (or, y’know, not so little, since primae noctis in reality would make Tony a serial rapist). Ha ha ha ha. Hilarious. Good one.

I’m really mad about the parts here that are total garbage, because mostly, the revels sequence has a nice low-key quality to it, good solid team dynamics. 

I can’t fucking believe that they played the ‘and then Bruce falls with his face in Natasha’s cleavage!’ gag. I cannot believe it. Is this a disgusting frat-boy comedy from the nineties?

Honestly, Tony, just shut up and admit that you KNEW from the get-go that it was wrong to try and make Ultron happen (that is why you kept it secret from everyone else to begin with); don’t try to defend the decision now that you’ve got a ‘murderbot’ on your hands. Take responsibility for a bad choice instead of talking shit about how you had to and everyone else is just too short-sighted, damn it! 

Andy Serkis is delightful.

The Iron Man/Hulk fight absolutely KILLS the momentum of this film. It goes for way the fuck too long (eight minutes) and has no narrative significance at all. Pro tip for action scenes: they should always be driving the story somewhere. You can pull off eighty minutes of action so long as your plot is advancing alongside/within it.

Also, Iron Man causes a huge amount of additional damage during this fight, in the service of the aforementioned pointless action. His efforts to minimise Hulk’s effects are extremely poor, and calling in his relief organisation to clean up after the fact does not negate that. 

Gotta love that throwing a wife and kids at Hawkeye at the same time as we suddenly start pushing this Natasha/Bruce thing. That’s not transparent at all. I also understand this to be a major deviation from Clint’s identity in the comics, and very unpopular with fans for that reason, but regardless; reinventing him as a family man to reset the romantic blather after baiting fans with the possibility of Clint/Natasha in the first Avengers movie is such a shitty move. I was not invested in the ship myself and would have loved to have them reinforce the just-friends relationship between Hawkeye and Black Widow, because there are not enough platonic friendships between compatible men and women in fiction, but 'they’re not interested in each other because they’re busy with someone else!’ is a weak reinforcement indeed. Less forced romances, and definitely less token wifey who exists for no other Goddamn reason at all. This comes out of nowhere, and not in a clever-surprise kind of way.

“You still think you’re the only monster on the team?” Natasha says, after telling Bruce about her sterilisation. This earned a HUGE backlash, and for good reason - despite all arguments about how what Natasha meant was that her being raised to be an assassin makes her a monster, the direct implication of her words as they are phrased and as the discussion is structured is that her inability to have children makes her monstrous, and that’s deeply offensive. It’s also completely in keeping with a narrative which is often played out against women, in which their value as people is attributed directly to their ability to produce offspring, so it’s not even like this outrageous implication of monstrosity - the corruption of what it means to be female! - is that unusual. It’s awful, but not unusual. Add on the fact that 1) Natasha’s nightmare-flashes specifically foregrounded her sterilisation over all other details of her training, supporting the idea that she believes that it’s what makes her irredeemable (instead of, y’know, all the murdering and stuff), and 2) this is Joss Whedon’s work and he is OBSESSED with highlighting the womanhood of his female characters and treating it like their defining trait while also variously punishing them for it, and you’ve got every reason to interpret this terrible fucking line as exactly the heinous thing it (presumably, unwittingly) seems to be. 

Steve ripping a log in half with his bare hands is the funniest thing in this whole movie.

Thor’s brief side-adventure with Erik Selvig is pretty out-of-place. He just...goes for a swim in a convenient magic pond that Selvig chances to know about. Seems normal.

Ultron is full of such boring, empty rhetoric. Reminds me of Loki in The Avengers, with all that sound-and-fury. 

I love Paul Bettany.

Man, they sure do find Natasha instantly. It’s almost like making a damsel-in-distress of her who needs to be rescued by the team was completely meaningless...

Breaking my no-BTS rule (since I already have done for this movie at this point) because it’s well-known how Joss Whedon ordered Elizabeth Olsen not to show exertion or ‘ugly emotion’ on her face in this film, because God forbid she compromise her attractiveness by being human. Joss Whedon is not human; he’s fucking trash. 

The final fight sure does just, y’know, get to a point where it ends. They really did not ratchet up the tension over the course of the Sokovia conflict, it just goes along until it stops (also, they say Sokovia is a country, but then they never call the city anything else, it’s just Sokovia. Is the city conveniently named after the country (very confusing), or is it a city-country, like The Vatican? I kinda assume it’s option three, which is that no one bothered to care because it’s just some fake European placeholder anyway and we’re not supposed to notice such a dumb oversight).

“I was born yesterday.” This is the best quip in this whole thinks-it-is-way-wittier-than-it-is movie.

Helen Cho deserved better than to be a prop rapidly dismissed and then just trotted past at the end for an ‘oh, she survived, btw’. 

Back when I reviewed the first Avengers movie, I said that I considered that film to be heavily overrated, so maybe it’s not such a surprise that I actually like this one better. The two primary problems I had with that first film were the overly simplistic plot, and the fact that most of the characters were OOC compared to previous films, and this movie does do better on both scores, so I feel more engaged by it, and less annoyed. That said...this movie has still got a lot of problems, and those include iffy characterisation and a plot with various holes, nonsensical complications, and conveniently ignored or smoothed-down dynamics. When I say I like this movie better than the first one, I mean just that: I like this better. That does not mean I am here to sing its praises. 

The tacked-on romance is part of the problem - for Clint as well as Natasha (but especially for Natasha). After Hawkeye was so heavily under-used in the first film (and his slightly-ambiguous relationship with Black Widow was the only human element that made him a character instead of a prop), Age of Ultron attempts to compensate by giving Clint a personal life, in the form of a magically-appearing heavily-pregnant wife and a pair of nameless children. The function of this family appears to be 1) to give Clint a reason to not be interested in Natasha, and 2) to ‘humanise’ him by giving him something to fight for and get home to, because we all know nothing legitimises a character quite like some otherwise-irrelevant dependents. Want a man to seem lovable and important? Give him a pregnant wife. That’s what women are for, anyway, right? To enhance a man’s story? In this case, to provide a man whose purpose in the story has been contested with insta-personality, because ‘he’s secretly a family man, ooh, twist!’ is way better than having to spend time on giving him something to do in the plot that is actually meaningful in some way. Great logic. Makes Hawkeye super dynamic, right? 

Natasha, unsurprisingly, is hit much, much harder. As the only female avenger and one of only two prominent female characters in a cast which has seven-to-nine male characters of equal or greater importance/screen time (YMMV on whether or not you think Fury and Vision count for that list), the pressure is already on for Natasha to be served up a quality narrative, because if she doesn’t get one, well...she doesn’t have six-to-eight alternative characters to pull the weight for her gender. The best solve for this problem would be to avoid the ‘Token Woman’ cliche in the first place, but since we missed that boat...not having the personal story of your only primary female character revolve completely around her womanhood and her catering to heteronormative expectations of a love interest would have been a good choice. This weird, forced, chemistry-free thing with Bruce Banner? Was the worst thing they could have used to define Natasha’s presence in the film. It sticks out like a sore thumb every time they have an awkward interaction, and it leads in to that atrocious ‘monstrous infertility’ element (though that particular egregious mistake could have been included with or without a romantic blunder, it...probably wouldn’t be, and we’d all be the better off). Even the Hulk-whisperer part of the relationship - while not awful on its own with all the unnecessary romance and Unresolved Sexual Not-Tension removed - serves to highlight Natasha’s female-ness by making her the soft maternal figure for the team, because God forbid one of the other male members of the team be asked to ASMR-speak to the Hulk while delicately caressing his hand. If Natasha’s presence in the first Avengers film leaned too heavily on her gender identity as a defining trait (and it did), this movie doesn’t fix that problem at all: it doubles down on it. 

The good news for most of the excess of male characters is, they by-and-large don’t feel as OOC as they did in the first film. The boorish romantic entanglement aside, Bruce Banner is still a naturalistic character highlight (all credit to Mark Ruffalo, who probably doesn’t know how to turn in a bad performance in the first place), and Thor’s dialogue is way less ridiculous this time ‘round, so he lands a lot closer to his personality from previous films simply by virtue of sounding like the same guy (unfortunately, the plot does not have the faintest idea what it wants to do with him as a character). Steve Rogers is still being written as if being Captain America is his character, which is a fundamental misunderstanding of his identity, albeit one which conveniently allows him to behave in a stereotypical self-righteously bland manner, thus avoiding the need for any nuance in his perspective or actions. This borderline fanfic-flamer ‘Captain America is my least favourite character so I’m going to write him as a boring stick-in-the-mud and then hopefully no one else will like him either!’ approach doesn’t grate quite as badly as it did in the first Avengers, and it can’t cancel out the innate level-headed charm of Chris Evans, so as disappointing as the bias is, it’s still a better balance here than it was last time. The one character who is not so flatteringly handled, however? Also happens to be the one who was arguably handled best last time, and unfortunately, he’s the one who is essentially treated as the ‘lead’. 

The big problem for Tony Stark is that this movie is not interested in digging in to the pathos of any character, it’s all-flash-no-substance on that front, and Tony really, really needed a less heavy-handed slathering of ‘afraid of what might come (feat. messiah complex)’ to motivate his actions and reactions in this film, because without any exploration he’s basically just a billionaire kid playing with matches. If this were an Iron Man film (either the first or third one, anyway), we’d get into some tasty deconstruction of Tony’s mental state and confront his hubris, etc, and - crucially, most crucial of all, it’s a mainstay of all his past stories in the MCU - Tony would own up to his mistakes, listen to the advice of those around him, and take contrite steps toward fixing the problem not just in the direct sense of ‘beating the bad guy’, but also in the personal and emotional sense of working on his own flaws and making amends with the people he hurt along the way. This movie offers none of that. To begin with, Tony’s ‘I know best and I will not be taking any questions’ approach to creating Ultron feels like a significant step backwards in his character development so far (Iron Man 3 was specifically about addressing his PTSD and associated tumultuous emotions surrounding the fear of imminent alien invasion, so his reactionary and secretive behaviour in this film feels particularly out-of-touch with a mental reality Tony has been explicitly working on for the past couple of years); Tony is actively aware that it’s a bad call and thus hides it from the other Avengers until it’s too late, and then he’s bizarrely unrepentant about his mistake. Worst of all, he actually attempts to repeat that mistake, only worse, late in the film (the fact that his idiotic ‘mad scientist’ pep talk actually convinces Bruce to help him again is the weakest character moment for Bruce outside of the aforementioned romance crap). The plot rewards Tony’s second, far worse mistake, in the creation of Vision, who turns out to be ‘worthy of wielding Thor’s Hammer’ and whatnot and conveniently provides every necessary skill to defeat Ultron in a deus ex machina so overt you could use it as a textbook example, so even though Tony had absolutely no way of knowing that he’d get a good result this time and almost every reason to believe he’d just compound the existing problem, his reckless disregard for the literal safety of the planet is treated like a good thing because it happens to work out this time, and they just kinda sweep under the rug the fact that Tony is playing God (and being uncharacteristically stupid and selfish about it - in other films, Tony is normally only reckless with his own safety, and it’s when his actions spill out into unintended consequences for others that he realises the error of his ways and cues up a positive learning curve; it’s what makes him palatable). At the end of the film, once Ultron is gone and Tony has thrown some dispassionate wads of cash into ‘relief efforts’, he strolls and quips and eventually drives off into the sunset in his expensive car, with nary a mention of, I dunno, maybe a little guilty conscience? Maybe a hint of having learned a valuable lesson? The closest he gets is just suggesting that it might be time he retires from Avenging, but neither he nor anyone else lets on that there’s a need for serious self-reflection. The Tony Stark in this movie is the nightmarish male-fantasy version of the character, the playboy with the cool tech and no limits who does whatever he wants and then...literally rides off into the sunset in the end, no muss, no fuss. He’s kinda like a complete reversion to his original self, pre-Iron Man, frittering money around and designing weapons of mass destruction while convincing himself he’s bringing peace to the world one explosion at a time, but that Tony has no business here, seven years of character development down the track.

While we’re talking iffy characterisation, we should also segue into plot, and that’s something we can do easily enough by looking at our villain, Ultron. Calling Ultron an actual character feels...ambitious. He’s a CGI robot full of empty rhetoric and, you guessed it, more of those quips that this movie has in place of any meaningful dialogue. I’d call him self-fellating, but he ain’t got nothing to fellate, so instead he just blathers a lot in a manner that sounds vaguely poetically intelligent but is, upon a moment’s consideration, just vapid nonsense (much like Loki in the first Avengers, as noted above, but at least Loki had the benefit of a flesh-and-blood actor delivering his lines with conviction; James Spader does solid work as the voice of Ultron, but trying to make a CGI robot who spouts a school-kid’s attempt at edgy philosophy sound like a genuine menace is an uphill battle). Speaking of genuine menace, I assume the reason the film is called Age of Ultron is because A Couple of Days of Ultron Causing Disturbances in a Handful of Specific Locations was too much. For all the big talk (and there is..so much), Ultron doesn’t get up to all that much trouble, most notably in the sense that he apparently has his code all over the internet and yet he doesn’t bother stirring up a single ounce of chaos with that ungodly power. Why bother including this as an element of the character if it achieves zero story? Is it purely to make Ultron seem ~unstoppable~ because he keeps downloading into new robots? Because it didn’t really land, y’all. They try to play it like a big victory for the good guys when Vision burns Ultron out of the ‘net, but in context it’s meaningless because he didn’t do anything while he was there. Pretty much everything about Ultron was all talk, little to no action - even a whole bunch of the trouble he did cause happened off-screen, with Maria Hill just popping in to let us know that ‘there are reports of metal men stealing shit’. Cheers, cool. And you know, Ultron makes a song and dance about how he’s going to save the world by ‘ending the Avengers’, but then he...does not pursue that at all. He tries to make himself a pretty body, the Avengers thwart him, and then he enacts a doomsday machine to destroy all life on Earth. Like every other aspect of the character, the whole ‘end the Avengers’ schtick is just white noise, there’s no meaning in it. Ultron is just a same-old-same ‘What if Artificial Intelligence wants to WIPE US OUT?!’ cliche, and maybe that’s what he was in the comics too, I don’t know, but it’s the job of the film to tell that story in a dynamic way, and they had two and a half hours to do it. And yet.

There should be more to this than a nondescript placeholder villain concept and a series of action set pieces that just kinda happen until they stop. At least the first Avengers had some variety in each of its action sequences, using the location and the different skills and weapons of its antagonists, whereas this one is just ‘there are robots and the good guys punched and shot them until they were all broken, the end’. Even making the city fly in the end doesn’t actually make it interesting, not least because the characters spend most of their time running around the (weirdly, perfectly stable) streets not having to deal with any consequences of being up in the air anyway, and the doomsday device is too nebulous to ratchet up any real tension about figuring out how to deal with it. The conflicts with the Maximoff twins have at least some spark of life in them, but the characters themselves are treated to an over-simplified and very contrived narrative arc that uses what they do and what they know more as plot devices than as details of actual people’s lives, leading to a cheap death for Pietro so that Wanda will be distracted enough to abandon the big ol’ doomsday button, and it’s just all so convenient. There’s no heart in any of it, and it makes the moments that try to have heart all the more embarrassing and out-of-place (don’t even get me started on what a prescribed attempt at tugging the heart-strings it is to have Hawkeye name his magnificently well-timed newborn after Pietro, because DAMN). When I said I liked this movie better than the first Avengers, I meant just that: I like this better. That’s not to suggest that it is significantly better in any sense, because it isn’t, and I can’t even argue that this one has a better story, because honestly, it doesn’t. The first film made more sense, it was just less interesting to watch, and the things about it that were contrived were contrived in different ways. The first film was weaker and more irritating on character, and character is always the most important part of a story for me, so as annoyed as I am by the major character blunders in Age of Ultron, I’m still not as annoyed as I was after The Avengers. That is damning with the faintest of praise; this is just not a particularly good movie, it makes a poor use of its cast at the best of times, delivers a sub-par action extravaganza, and the script is not half as witty as it gleefully convinces itself that it is. It comes as no surprise, I’m sure, that I am very glad a certain writer/director departed the franchise after disappointing everyone with this outing. I say I like this better than the first Avengers, but gee, it’s a close call.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Phase Change: Chapter 1

The man who used to be both Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier but now is neither has to figure out who he is and what he wants, with a little prodding from Tony along the way.

Prompt: “I love Tony x Winter Soldier, so pretty please, can one of you write something with Bucky in WS mode? Idk, maybe WS who doesn't understand concept of feelings, but he's aware that he has them and he doesn't know what to do with them, so he decides to ask Tony, who is not only genius but also the object of those feelings, so he's perfect person to ask in Soldiers reasoning...”

Also on AO3

The soldier aka James Buchanan Barnes code name ‘Bucky’ distinctly remembers the first time he saw Anthony Edward Stark also known as Tony code name ‘Iron Man.’ He had been stepping off the jet that had been used to transport him to Stark Tower, where he was being remanded to the custody of the Avengers until, as one SHIELD officer put it when he didn’t realize the soldier was listening, “the government figures out what to do with him.”  Anthony Edward Stark was standing on the landing pad, flanked by people, some of whom the soldier recognized, some he didn’t, but all of which were watching him with varying degrees of wariness.  At the feeling of all of those eyes on him the soldier slowed, heart pounding as adrenaline flooded him.  He gritted his teeth and flexed his hands, trying to choke down the urge to lash out, to fight back, to run, and the effort made his steps grind to a halt halfway across the landing pad.

Anthony Edward Stark was the one who took two steps forward when everyone tensed, who pushed his sunglasses down his nose so he could look the soldier in the eye.  He raised his chin, jaw tight, as Stark studied him, and then watched in surprise as wariness turned to understanding. Stark gave him a short nod and then the sunglasses were back in place as he turned away towards the others.  “You guys, I think the welcoming party isn’t helping.  Let’s give him some space, yeah?” And just like that the landing pad cleared until it was just the soldier and Steven Grant Rogers code name Captain America.

He heard Steven Grant Rogers let out a long exhale in relief.  “Come on, Bucky.  You’re going to be bunking next to me for now,” he said over his shoulder as he started to walk towards the tower.  The soldier hesitated a split second before he remembered code name Bucky and followed.

(More after the break!)

The soldier spent the next few weeks pacing around the compound, feeling trapped.  His living quarters were the worst because that’s where Steven Grant Rogers “Please, Buck, call me Steve” was, where he always seemed to be watching the soldier with alternating hope and despair. Both made the asset equally uneasy; he felt like he was failing at a mission he’d never been briefed on.

So he paced.  On one of the early days he found the range but not an armory, which was probably wise.  Sometimes he wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t fight his way out if he had a weapon, even though he knew he’d agreed to come here and agreed to stay.  He found multiple kitchens and gyms, shied away from the offices and other peoples’ living quarters, and ran the tree line that served as the edge of the property so many times that he’d memorized it.

He realized, after a while, that he was bored.

Then he realized he'd been under surveillance the whole time when he saw Anthony Edward Stark jogging across a grassy expanse to intercept him on one of his runs.

“Hey Murderbot,” Stark said, and the soldier had stiffened, worried that he’d broken some unknown rule by going outside. “Follow me. You need a hobby, it’s driving me crazy watching you pace around this place like a caged tiger.”  He gestured and started walking back towards the compound. After a moment, the soldier followed.

Stark took him back to the range, but this time he went to a panel on the far wall; when he put his palm on it, part of the wall slid to the side to reveal the armory.  “I understand that this is your thing,” Stark said, waving his hand towards the mouthwatering array of pistols, rifles, throwing knives, and assorted other weapons that were on display.  “Have fun.  Just as a note, the guns will self-destruct if taken out of this room.” Stark glanced at him, gaze more measuring than suspicious.  “Steve thinks this is a bad idea.  Please don’t prove him right.”

The soldier gave him a nod, already reaching for a rifle.

That night, for the first time since he’d arrived at the compound, the soldier slept through the night.  The next morning, as he was trying to find something to eat, he was drawn to one of the kitchens by the smell of food and coffee and found Stark there.

“Morning, sunshine,” Stark said without looking up from his phone. “Did you have a good time yesterday?” The soldier grunted assent while he assembled himself a plate of food.  “Great,” Stark continued, apparently satisfied with that answer.  “Well, you’ve been here forty-two days now, I feel like I’ve been patient enough.  Would you mind joining me in my lab so I can take a look at your fancy metal arm?”

The soldier stood near the entrance to the kitchen as he ate, chewing thoughtfully as he considered.  “Yes,” he said finally, having decided that keeping Stark’s mysterious goodwill outweighed the deep unease he felt at the idea.

At that, Stark finally looked up at him. “So he does talk,” Stark said with a crooked smile.  “It doesn’t have to be today.  Take your time, warm up to the idea, and let me know when you’re ready.” He stood and put his phone in his pocket and the crumb-filled plate in the sink.  He filled up his cup with more coffee and on his way out of the kitchen he said over his shoulder, “Oh, and same rules as yesterday.  Steve thinks this is alsoa bad idea, so when you do come, please don’t prove him right by trying to kill me or destroy my lab.”

The soldier scowled, starting to get the feeling that Steven Grant Rogers’ opinions were one of the reasons why he’d been so bored lately.  He raised his chin. “Now,” he growled, half-expecting Stark to argue with him, but he only shrugged.

“If you say so. Follow me.”

Stark led him to a set of steel reinforced double doors that the soldier had passed a number of times but had never been able to access.  As Stark walked up, the doors opened on their own and the room inside was huge, a bland institutional gray filled on one side with machines and desks and toolboxes and on the other with a variety of fast-looking vehicles.

The soldier liked it immediately.

“This is my lab, my sanctum sanctorum, my home away from home, so don’t touch anything.  Except this chair,” Stark said, pushing a wheeled stool towards him. “Please sit on the chair.”

The soldier sat.  “I’m not Hydra’s attack dog anymore,” he said gruffly, and Stark’s eyebrows went up.  “I’m not going to hurt you or destroy anything.”

“I think so, too,” Stark said after a moment as he cleared a space on a work table. “But I think Steve…well, let’s say he would prefer to be safe than sorry.”  He patted the table for the soldier to place his arm on it and dragged up a chair for himself. “So tell me about this thing.”

The soldier let go of his aggravation at Steven Grant Rogers and began rattling off specifications from memory, recalling all the times the technicians had discussed his arm in his presence as if he were just another piece of machinery.  He directed Stark to the access panels and then conversation gradually trailed off as Stark became engrossed in investigating his arm.

After approximately an hour, Stark leaned back and rubbed his eyes. “JARVIS got enough scans of this that I can go ahead and finish up here so I don’t take more of your time. I think the perimeter guards are probably wondering why you are late for your morning marathon.”  The soldier scowled at that.  Boredom had apparently made him predictable. “Hey, so I’m sorry if this is a rude question, but what should I call you?” Stark asked as he started refastening the access panels on the arm.

He hesitated. “Bucky?”

Stark’s forehead creased at his answer.  “I get the feeling,” he said carefully, still looking down at what he was working on, “that you don’t actually like that name.”

The soldier felt a split second of surprise before he schooled his emotions.  How had Stark noticed what others had not?  He didn’t like being called "Bucky."  Bucky was a ghost, less a memory than an abstract fact the soldier would rather forget. There was another long pause while he thought.  “Soldier?” he ventured.  He saw a tic in Tony’s jaw that meant he didn’t like that answer either.

But Stark didn’t say anything until he was finished with the arm, setting his tools down on his work table before he sat up to face the soldier. The soldier relaxed when he saw that Stark’s expression wasn't angry or disappointed.  “Come on, ‘soldier’ isn’t a name," Stark said with a faint smile.  "It’s barely a title.”

The soldier pondered that. “Soldat?” he said after a few moments.

Stark snorted. “I know soldat is just Russian for soldier.  Look, if you don’t like Bucky or James or any of the names you were born with, I can give you a new one.  Just ask Captain Hotpants or Point Break.” The solder felt the corner of his lips turn up at Captain Hotpants and saw Stark’s answering smile.  “But I think it’s important that you decide on a name you like.”

He pondered that.  He’d gone by a lot of names in his life, some for longer than others.  “Yasha,” he said, as he stood to leave.  “Call me Yasha.”

“Alright.  Let me know if you have any problems with the arm, and maybe take it easy with the exercising.  Don’t you read or watch movies or do anything that involves…sitting?”

The thought of sitting for any length of time made Yasha’s skin crawl. Except…he’d just sat here for over an hour and didn’t feel like punching his way out of the room and then the compound.  He narrowed his eyes at Stark, who already seemed to have forgotten him as he pushed himself across the floor on his wheeled stool to a computer on another table. He grunted, more to himself than in response to Tony’s question, and went to the armory instead of for his usual run.

[ngscoffeecupcommentary]

All Systems Red - Chapter 4

Mind yourselves, there are spoilers for the NOVELLA here, that means I’m basically spoiling near everything - if you plan on reading this novella then this may not be for you. 

As a fan who loves to binge fanfics, shows and manga I really relate to MurderBot's determination to squeeze out every minute of time they can to watch their serials.

Oho! So I was kinda right! Bots are partially constructed from cloned material! (or rather they were 'given to understand')

Ok ok ok. Hmm… Imitative Human Bot Units, that's the name.

I love how we know through narration that MurderBot is making efforts to sound neutral - which implies emotion and suppressing it (probably because big brother is watching)

Oooooh this conversation. Well I mean he's right, but big brother is watching and MurderBot will be killed if he's right on camera so … ugh.

 So what I'm getting is that the bots are cloned humans - or cloned then augmented humans… hmm, that surely is a huge violation of human rights, but this is capitalist dystopia - I'm sure they can buy cloning rights. Granted the way he's pushing is both bad and understandable.

I like how MurderBot just removes themselves from the confrontation.

 ...and then just resumes watching their serials.

 Love it.

 The casual mentions of MurderBot's company sanctioned spying really sets the mood. Now I'm thinking that there was something sus in that update MurderBot did not unpack - did other SecUnits kill of Delta guys...hmmm. An now with the satellite, sounds like major corporate sabotage - would it be internal in this case?

 MurderBot has a bad feeling too.

 I like how MurderBot notes that despite being a bigger operation DeltFall get's same shitty equipment - capitalist dystopia at it's greatest/worst.

MurderBot is in top form here, using security protocols as an answer for being protective and properly cautious - granted still removed from their human company...with good reason. I wonder if their record will look worse or better after this.

 Oooh, so there's adifference in being a combat MurderBot and Security Unit like our MurderBot is...interesting. They said that their record of keeping people alive was bad (or implied it) so if they're not there to possibly kill clients then they've failed to stop them from killing each-other or being killed by something else.

Oh gosh...clients ordering their SecUnits to fight each-other. This is barbaric and also something people would definitely do. Especially here where SecUnits seem to be cheaply produced and cheaply outfitted (unlike the expensive androids in Detroit: Become Human where the mishandling took me out of it since I know you wouldn't treat expensive equipment that way - simply because money).

So bot units just don't care about each other, or perhaps can't due to governing module.

 Now...did MurderBot experience many 'looking-for-the-body-parts' phases before or did they get that from their serials...which is funnier?

MurderBot showing protective tendencies :D and murderous ones! :D  'I wanted to kill them' MurderBot in top form. Because the other bots took humans unaware? Because the humans weren't doing anything bad at the time? Hmm.

Oof, the murder scene is just the right kind of gore and implied violence with a dash of distance given our MurderBot. And apparently...a trap's been set for them when the other SecUnits noticed they were coming.

Our MurderBot is either sharp due to cracked module or because of serials (presumably some are crime shows) - now, again, which is funnier?

The battle is fast and rutal and also gives more insight into how clients treat them...ugh - these two tho...they murdered the third bot? and then killed the humans? Hmm…

 Oh crap.

 Someone got MurderBot.

 Oooo...another SecUnit?

 Oh dear. Oh dear. Medical horror shocked me.

 MurderBot got it, adrenaline surge!

TWO MORE SecUnits?!

 MENSAH!! OMG human to the rescue! You love to see it!

 Humans to the rescue! I love how they all just gang up on MurderBot to get them outta there ;o; - ok, now I've got high expectations for human friendship with these people...ugh, please don't dash my hopes. Fingers crossed.

 OOOOO, combat override modules :o so did humans do that and then lose control? And then SecUnits just did it to each-other? Or an outside source? Ooooo

 Oh no.

 'You have to kill me' oh boy, your humans like you now, you can't escape, they won't just lay down and take it.

 OH NO!

 Suicide.

 I SO DID NOT EXPECT THIS

 WHAT A WAY TO END A CHAPTER!!

 Fantastic. I'm loving it.

This may have been a lot of incoherent babble, but I think it just proves that I'm loving it.

Chapters: . 1-2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 .

[actual-bill-potts]

Some Post-Ep Thoughts on "Smile"