#i won’t stop until everyone in gotham is autistic

[v0latileromantic]

no but so much of jerome’s behaviour can be explained by autistic hyposensitivity & sensory seeking. clearly arkham never bothered with the raads-r but i will diagnose the shit out of him

behold my jerome autism notes:

speaks with unusual intonation, speech stereotypy, ‘odd’ and ‘rehearsed’ physical mannerisms, no grasp of when you should or shouldn’t make a joke, no grasp of how much eye contact is too much, sensory seeking by eating non-food items and jumping/climbing/getting into violent situations, his body is undersensitive to pain to the point that he can tolerate being mutilated, no social boundaries, demand avoidance, his intense focus on fun and chaos could easily qualify as a restricted interest, he wears gloves all the time (sensory issue). i could go on

[ash-crane101]

“Don’t piss off any of the rogues, unless you want to end up with either lasting trauma or worst case scenario, dead.”

“Gas masks here are VERY high quality and VERY affordable, and they will be your best friend during gas attacks. I personally recommend Wayne Enterprises’s gas masks. I also recommend you keep that mask on your person every day, since you never know when the next chemical attack will happen here.”

“If a man covered in question marks asks you a riddle, please don’t respond. That is most likely my stepfather, Edward, AKA the riddler.”(Ooc but I ship scriddler so riddler is Ash and their Siblings’ stepdad in this RP)

“Check whose territory you’re in consistently. Red hood’s men are great suppliers for that, and they can alert you to territory changes.”

“Please leave gifts for the bat family somewhere where they can see who’s it meant for. I Recommend leaving them on a rooftop on their respective patrol routes. Also, if you want to not induce confusion between the bat family, make sure to include the name of the member. Also I really recommend giving the youngest of the Corvid-themed members of the batfamily horror shit. I know they have a really big collection of it considering they’re also autistic and… also are my 3rd roommate. Don’t ask how I know that.”

“Confront crazy with more crazy. I once saw that someone weaponized an old banana and charged at the dude that was robbing him/her/them/any. That person ended up with a wallet and no banana.”@gothamarchivist

“Please at least stop by the coffee shops once during your stay in this less-than-wonderful city. Trust me, the coffee’s better than the amount of crime here. Plus you might even see a batfamily member chugging down on a late-night latte due to their horrendous sleep schedules.”

“Harming plants almost always equal death by my aunt Pamala.”

“Please get your errands done by at least the high school start times here. Traffic gets horrendous after that here.”

“The bat’s hands are rated E for Everyone. Nobody is immune from justice in these parts.”

“Please don’t say you love a rogue when you’re in one of Gotham’s barns and nobles. Most likely you’ll end up being caught lacking by a nearby batfamily member or an officer.”

“Here in Gotham, we’re big on any kinda pride. Hell, THE BRUCE WAYNE got seen in a pride suit during a presentation of Wayne Enterprises’s built-in binder t-shirt once. Managed to snag one of those shirts during Gotham’s Walmarts’ pride sale(it was on sale for 5 bucks and I had 5 bucks to spend) since Wayne Enterprises shit always leaks over to Walmarts across the United States.”

“You might as well thank the entire criminal underworld here for cheapening the rent. And possibly the batfamily for accidentally flying through closed windows from time-to-time. Also, Bruce Wayne knows a shit ton of martial arts and is probably a black belt in karate. He’s also probably at the height of human strength naturally. Meaning that he doesn’t need no bodyguard to protect him. Motherfucker won’t start shit but he will end it.”

“rich kids outside of Gotham get taught sword-fighting with safety precautions in place, armed with epees, all that safety stuff. Notice how I mentioned outside of Gotham. Because I know the Bat’s current robin is a rich kid and he got taught sword-fighting with no safety precautions, armed with a katana, no safety stuff to even protect him from accidentally stabbing himself with that damn blade during sword-fighting lessons. Also, the kid, Damien, was raised by his mom in the league until he got sent to live with his dad. No wonder the kid is regularly caught armed with either an extremely sharp blade intending to kill somebody on his patrols or somehow got an exotic animal or animals into the manor that shouldn’t even BE INSIDE THE MANOR.”

“Only a few of the batfam have not attempted to kill anybody. Namely Batman because he ain’t got the balls to kill Joker. I’m starting to think the Bat’s cheating on Catwoman with that fucking clown!!”

“Don’t be surprised if you hear at least a teen say something about my father’s toxin being effectively Ghost weed.”

“Nobody gives a fuck here. We all deal with petty crime to the point where we’re free of fucks to give. Even the customer service workers here don’t even have smiles and don’t take any Karen’s (or Susan’s) shit.” (I genuinely didn’t mean to offend any non-entitled Karens or Susans because of this comment, I was just poking fun at the fact that people automatically default to Karen or Susan when they refer to an entitled lady they don’t know the name of).

“You get drinking water out of our waterways, you boil that shit and wait for it to cool for it to be drinkable. Unless you want to either laugh to death or scream and shit yourself. The more chemically inclined rogues put shit in the water here.”

-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

okay people what are the 'surviving gotham' 101 strategies??

I've barely survived my first weekend here

[nightcolorz]

Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:

Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.

Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.

Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).

Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍

Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.

The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.

Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.

Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).

The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.

Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).

Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.

Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol. anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)