#i woke up angry. hi mutuals

[revui]

this pride month can we please at least listen to intersex people. for example

people who claimed intersex people didn't want to be included were largely perisex bigots

stop using amab/afab to refer to or infer sex characteristics and life experiences

stop using transfeminine/transmasculine to infer someone's agab (and subsequently their sex characteristics and life experiences)

stop using tma/tme to mean "trans women"/"everyone else"

man and woman aren't opposites, gender isn't binary

male and female aren't opposites, sex isn't binary

"contradictory" labels aren't the death knell of queer people

intersex people aren't "sexually disordered" they are fucking intersex

"intersex" is not a thing you can transition to be

intersex people don't owe conformity

intersex people don't have to tell you shit about their bodies

the "cis kids being given hormones" a lot of people mention in their trans activism include a lot of intersex kids being medically abused

can we all understand this like really really quickly. is any of this very hard to wrap your head around ?

[theoldsports]

Mistake.

Coriolanus Snow x Reader | 3.2k words

SMUT 18+ ONLY | murder, manipulation, dubcon, mutually assured destruction, some bondage, gun violence. everything, really. danger!

The floor of Coriolanus and [Y/N]’s bedroom used to be hardwood. She would hear him on his way in when he worked late at the Citadel. The creaking floorboards typically snapped her out of sleep. Recently, Coriolanus decided on carpeting the room, full well knowing that he often woke up [Y/N] with his returns. If she stayed asleep, she asked less questions. The carpet was rich and purple. Tastefully purple, like a mauve. Coriolanus did not tolerate tacky like most ‘Capitol Phonies’ as [Y/N] called them when he would get agitated with couture, fashion and consumer trends.

When Coriolanus entered the room tonight, he was not concerned with waking his lover like usual. He was furious and he wanted attention. Coriolanus threw the door open with a bang. He came in like a shot. [Y/N] sat bolt up right in bed at the unexpected noise so late at night. She went from asleep to over alert. With practiced ease, she yanked open the bedside table’s white drawer and reached for the handgun Coriolanus had gotten her as an anniversary present. The wife of a young Senator couldn’t afford to take risks.

[Y/N] extended her arm, pointing the gun where her tired eyes spotted movement and undid the safety. She blinked once. Then twice. It was clear that it was Coriolanus, not a murderer. Not a murderer that would do her harm, anyway.

“Fuck!” Coriolanus said, raising his hands in surprise. “Darling, it’s me. Drop it!”

She would have known his footsteps if he hadn’t put in carpet.

“Coryo, good god. Don’t do that!” [Y/N] screamed. Instantly, she snapped the safety back on and dropped the gun back in the drawer. “I could have shot you! What time is it?”

“I—I don’t know! Late!” Coriolanus shouted and shrugged his jacket off. “Fuck!” [Y/N] watched his burgundy coat smack into the wall as he tossed it in frustration. Coriolanus didn’t usually get visibly angry. Instead, he got cold. There was door slamming sometimes to end an argument, maybe dirty possessive sex, but normally, he became calculating vile to be around instead of petulantly rage-filled.

Today must have been a bad day.

He almost got shot to top it off.

“I’m sorry,” [Y/N] said like she was attempting to defuse a bomb. She had only had to speak to him like that once or twice in her years of knowing him. Normally, Coriolanus found that tone condescending. “Coryo, come here.”

Coriolanus made no mind of her words. He continued to pull off his clothes a layer at a time clumsily. He pulled at his hair, he groaned sounds of anguish barely below a holler, he even threw one of his beautifully polished shoes across the room. Real, adult male rage. The kind you stayed away from.

“Coriolanus Snow, you’re going to hurt yourself!” [Y/N] shouted. “You’re gonna… hurt me, or break something. What’s wrong with you?” [Y/N] said cautiously while she climbed out of bed in her nearly transparent red nightie.

Coriolanus breathed heavily. He was trying to sooth his anger. He knew this behavior, this blackout rage, was unbecoming. His eyes focused on [Y/N]’s, and then [Y/N]’s throat, then [Y/N]’s dress, and what was visible under [Y/N]’s dress. His breathing slowed a bit and he pushed his loose curls out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You still with me?” [Y/N] asked, stepping into where he stood. “Coryo, look at me,” [Y/N] commanded. She reached out with a hand as if Coriolanus was a wild animal that might bite her and slowly placed it on the side of his cheek. Gently, she guided him to look down at her. He stared down at her almost expressionlessly. [Y/N] reached up with her free hand to tucked Coriolanus’s long hair out of his face. “What happened? The truth, preferably.”

“Where… Where’d you get that nightgown?” Coriolanus deflected.

“Bought it last week.”

“It’s very striking on you. You aren’t cold in that thing?”

[Y/N] shook her head and dropped her hand from Coriolanus’ face. She thought her window for some sort of talk about why he had behaved like that had latched closed. “No.” She sighed. [Y/N] spent another moment examining Coriolanus with her eyes to make sure that he wasn’t hurt or completely falling to pieces standing before her in merely his crisp black pinstriped trousers and belt. Once she felt her once over was sufficient, she turned to walk back to the bed to lay down.

“I… I lied to someone when I should have told them the truth,” Coriolanus started as [Y/N] climbed back under the pristine white covers on their bed. “It was a miscalculation and I suspect it’s going to take… work to… eradicate the rest of problem entirely.”

He was incapable of saying ‘I made a mistake and my actions have consequences’ like a normal person. All the same, relinquishing that information cost him a lot emotionally. He didn’t share burdens. Coriolanus didn’t share anything.

“This was another Senator?”

“It involves another Senator, yes,” he said. “It’s inconvenient.”

“Fix it,” she said. There was no more advice to be offered on the subject without argument and she knew that Coriolanus would fix it, by whatever means necessary. [Y/N] patted the bed beside her again. “Come to bed.”

Coriolanus climbed into bed stiffly and laid beside [Y/N]. He settled for laying in an uncomfortable, temporary position because he did not expect to fall asleep in his pressed slacks. She wrapped an arm around him and yanked him on top of her, forcing his head to rest on her chest. Coriolanus liked it when [Y/N] let him use her like a pillow. [Y/N]’s heart went so fast when he was near like that. Coriolanus wondered if it was because she was afraid of him. He smiled.

“Did you get this nightgown for me?” Coriolanus asked. He traced the sheer fabric around one of [Y/N] nipples and watched the bud become stiffer with every rotation. He did that to her, not some no-talent, inexperienced Senator who probably couldn’t keep his own dick hard.

[Y/N] scoffed with her bottom lip captured between her straight teeth. “Who else?” She said plainly.

“You got all dressed up in this and I didn’t even get home on time, huh?” He said, sounding almost disappointed. Coriolanus’ finger slid under the strap of the dress and snapped it against her skin.

“There’s always tomorrow. It’s not like I don’t live with you,” [Y/N] chanced sliding her fingers into his hair. Coriolanus often hated when she touched his overly manicured hair, but [Y/N] knew he found it soothing in a moment of private vulnerability. She knew he liked the attention. [Y/N] tangled her fingers in his white blonde hair, combing out the product he had put in it that morning to hold it in place. Coriolanus let her. “You’re so tense. Relax.” [Y/N] said.

“Can’t. Go back to sleep, Darling. I might go for a run, think.”

“…You could discuss your miscalculation.”

Coriolanus was silent. That was a no without saying no. [Y/N] tugged his hair carefully in frustration. “Please stay here with me. If you go out, I’ll be all nerves til you’re properly back with me,” She said. “Stay. I’m awake now… Blow off some steam. The adrenaline of pointing a gun at my husband’s going to keep me awake for a while too.”

“I never should have bought you that,” Coriolanus said firmly, but maintained a smirk. “If I stayed with you all day, you would have no reason for needing the gun. You wouldn’t ever have to wear clothes either. Well, what you’re wearing now is hardly clothes to begin with.”

“I’m sorry. About the gun, not the nightgown,” [Y/N] said. Coriolanus stole kisses across parts of her exposed and covered chest. Eventually his mouth came to rest over her clothed left nipple, with his teeth giving it a gentle tug. “Coryo…” [Y/N] whimpered.

“You want me to relax, here’s me,” Coriolanus leaned up and kissed [Y/N]’s lips. “Relaxing.” He smirked.

[Y/N] genuinely never did know if Coriolanus was out-of-his-mind obsessed with her, or if he told her what she wanted to hear because that kind of talk made Coriolanus feel better about himself in a roundabout way. Either way, she got something out of it, so complaining at this stage felt unimportant.

Sustaining two deluded minds in a relationship meant both parties had to consistently 1) lie, 2) obsess over minutia, 3) fuck.

See, it wasn’t love, but it wasn’t just fucking either. The pair could not love. Something had happened to each of them that made real romantic or intimate compatibility impossible. Their intentions for the other weren’t selfless, but they mutually let other believe they were.

They were perfect together.

They had unified strength, a need for control and that beloved little thing that made them work: obsession; fundamentally. To hear one of them talk manically about the other, was to see the face of God. To each of them, the other was the only person who had ever kept them from getting bored, so they made it work. It was the endless chase that kept them going. That, and a constant need to outdo the other. Daily, they engaged in a delicate pantomime of intimacy and all their world was the stage.

“Did you hurt someone, honey?” [Y/N] moaned as Coriolanus kissed her, bucking her hips up. “You only act like this when you’ve hurt someone. Y-you, oh fuck, you know I don’t care.” She said.

“Cut it out.” He snapped.

“Who.”

“How many times before have I told you not to ask?” Coriolanus said, pulling his lips away from her chest and instead leaned back to bury two fingers inside her wetness to affirm his point. He had already noticed she hadn’t been wearing panties under the translucent nightie, so it was easy.

[Y/N] inhaled sharply at the abrupt stretching sensation and shut her eyes. “I wasn’t asking, Coriolanus.”

Coriolanus stretched her further, eliciting an explicit moan from [Y/N]. She clawed at the fabric of the only stitches he had left: his trousers.

Through gritted teeth, Coriolanus choked out “Festus Creed.”

“Festus?” [Y/N] said as she sat up on her elbows. They had known him since they were children. Coriolanus didn’t stop fucking her brutally with his hand. “Coryo… You didn’t.”

“He said something he shouldn’t have and he took his coffee too sweet to notice before it was too late. The only worry is if someone saw. Eyes everywhere. It was too public.” Coriolanus grunted. He felt himself getting hard from watching his wife fuck herself on his long fingers whilst he confessed to killing a childhood companion.

[Y/N] knew it was in poor taste to feel so good from hearing something so awful. She did not care because who was going to judge her in the privacy of her own home? She let out her most wanton moan yet when Coriolanus pressed in a third finger. He knew had an advantage in the conversation considering their current position. Coriolanus knew exactly what she wanted and that he was not going to get her to cum just from the penetration of his fingers. Effortlessly, he slid his thumb over her clit and rubbed it quickly. “W-why…” [Y/N] tried her best to sound coherent.

“He wanted something that wasn’t his.” Coriolanus muttered, leaning his mouth into [Y/N]’s bare neck.

This could have meant Festus had coveted her, or that he had coveted the presidency. Whatever it was, Coriolanus didn’t like his foods to touch and took care of the problem. [Y/N] let herself believe that out of the possible options, it was her that had gotten in the way of the two men’s relationship. It made her grin an unfortunate grin.

“Coriolanus, you sh-shouldn’t have d-done that,” [Y/N] said. Her thighs were practically shaking. “That was a mistake.” She tried. It was a mistake. Logically, she knew that. [Y/N]’s quivering hands unbuckled his belt. Carefully, she slid the fine black leather through the metal fixings and soft fabric loops. It stayed clutched in her hand.

“What was a mistake?” Coriolanus asked coyly. “This?” His hand slid out of her, making [Y/N] yelp at its absence.

At least [Y/N] was able to think clearer without his hand in her folds. [Y/N] clutched the belt in her hands tighter. “Fuck you.” [Y/N] said. She sat up further causing Coriolanus to lean back further. Her temper flared. She hated how much Coriolanus liked it when she got angry. Of course none of her feelings were really her own with out Coriolanus’ desire and interests. Her temper escalated until she could feel a full throbbing in her left armpit and side. [Y/N] also hated how aroused she still felt. Her friend was dead, after all. She sent a silent prayer to Festus, wherever he ended up.

[Y/N] knew this desire she had was going to be a challenge, but she wanted to punish Coriolanus carnally. Everything was too easy for him as it was.

When Coriolanus sat up against the fluffy pillows and the metal headboard, [Y/N] wasted no time climbing into his lap. She stared seriously into his blue eyes for a moment and leaned into his ear. “I’m extremely disappointed in you.” She said.

Nervousness coursed through her veins. Coriolanus was going to be very upset with her. She grasped Coriolanus’ left wrist in the same hand that held his belt. In one fluid motion, [Y/N] grabbed Coriolanus’ other wrist and clutched them over his head. She pressed his wrists together and linked them with the belt. Before she locked the belt on itself, she pushed his beautiful pale hands against the metallic headboard she was so familiar with chained to herself and cinched the belt closed fast enough to rash up Coriolanus’ delicate wrists.

Coriolanus looked at her in stunned shock. He tried to pull against the belt once.

Twice.

Three times.

It jerked the metal bedframe with a crack.

“What the fuck is this?” Coriolanus said through gritted teeth.

“Punishment. You… I… I said I was extremely disappointed in you. You created a significant amount of unnecessary stress because… Because what? A man I’ve known since I was twelve wanted to share your toys? Is that it?”

The crease between Coriolanus’ eyebrows deepened and his eyes. [Y/N] popped the button on Coriolanus’ pants.

“Now, I’m gonna get some pleasure out of you if it kills me. For my sake, not yours.” [Y/N] said. She shimmied Coriolanus’ pants and boxers down to his knees. Coriolanus wasn’t making this movement easy for her with his wriggling.

“[Y/N], get me out of this. Now!” Coriolanus commanded. At the noise, she grabbed his cock and circled her thumb around its head a few times. He was a leaking mess; he liked this more than he implied. Coriolanus let out a whimper, whether from pleasure or being emasculated. Either would do.

“No.” [Y/N] said softly. She released his cock and climbed properly back onto his lap and slowly sank all the way down on his painfully hard cock. Coriolanus was tall and broad so it was never a surprise to [Y/N] that he was so big. She herself moaned at the familiar stretch of taking him in all the way. [Y/N] rolled her hips to compensate as she settled. [Y/N] chose not think about the consequences for what she was doing. She thought about Coriolanus instead. She glanced down at Coriolanus. Of course he looked frustratingly gorgeous. He always did. His hair looked extremely tousled and his eyes were truculent. His jaw clenched in a grimace of some passionate emotion.

[Y/N] had never seen Coriolanus below her like this. She liked it.

Coriolanus thrusted his hips up, but [Y/N] sat still, not dignifying his need with a response. “No, this is an apology. This is for me now, not you.”

“[Y/N], please—“

Begging so soon?

[Y/N] fucked herself on his cock sharply. Repeatedly, she lifted herself high and slammed herself back down his length. She had no idea sex felt so good in this position.

“Coryo, I want an apology for whatever this is. You should be ashamed of what you’ve done. Are you?”

Silence. He looked away from her.

“I asked you a question.” [Y/N] whispered when she leaned in to bite Coriolanus’ earlobe.

“No.” He said. [Y/N] leaned back and struck him with her open palm. She smiled to herself as she did so, thinking of the night of their engagement party. How striking his pale face always looked with the contrast of a stiff red mark on it.

“[Y/N]!” Coriolanus shouted at the stinging sensation, pulling at his restraints. Coriolanus hated not feeling in control. He wanted to hold [Y/N], to squeeze her, to devour her alive.

[Y/N] leaned to clutch his bound forearms, bouncing up and down sickeningly fast. “You’re not ashamed? Guilty? You think this is deserved, this cruelty?” He didn’t have to answer for [Y/N] to know he didn’t feel ashamed. Coriolanus couldn’t feel shame quite like that, only self pity. He let out another moan at her words. [Y/N] clawed her nails down his biceps on a journey to his abdomen. “Coryo, apologize to me.” She purred.

“I…” Coriolanus started to apologize, but [Y/N] began sucking brutal hickeys on his neck first, then collarbones. He could barely string a sentence together at the sensation. By the time he had four blossoming bruises on the marble column of his throat, he was writhing beneath [Y/N]. He was getting frustrated. Every time he tried to buck his hips naturally (or desperately) into hers, she refused to move or acknowledge until he stopped.

“Fine! I’m sorry!” He spat, barely conscious of his words.

“For what?”

“F-Festus.” He said quietly.

“What was that, honey?” She teased, twisting one of his nipples.

“Please don’t make me talk about another man when I’m fucking you…” Coriolanus whimpered. “Undo the belt, Darling, we can—“

“Too late. What are you sorry for?” She said, rolling her hips into his. “Tell me you’re sorry or there’s no chance I let you finish.”

“Festus!”

“Louder!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry about Festus. It was a mistake. PLEASE! Let me fucking cum!”

He wasn’t sorry at all. While he came into his wife, all Coriolanus could think about was how awfully good it felt to kill someone if it meant his wife would be on him like this.

—

TAGLIST:

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sorry if tags didn’t work! i tried!

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

1. pushing it down and praying

contains: a little cheating..smoking, some nsfw content but nothing crazy

summary: after half a year of no contact, you run into your ex at a party.

a/n: kinda got this idea from the lizzy mcalpine song bc i am obsessed with it. so listen if you haven’t lol. also i decided to split the fic but it’s only gonna be two parts!

it’d officially been six months since you and your ex boyfriend went no contact.

the first few months were hell for you.

of course, you went through the stereotypical phase of eating ice cream and crying to rom-coms directly after your break up. but that short-lived phase gradually shifted into one that was much more melancholic once the two of you decided to go no contact.

everyday that you woke up, you were engulfed by an emotional numbness. a dull pain that served as a constant reminder of your grief.

you were grieving what the relationship was and what it could’ve been.

you had always envisioned your future with hamzah in it which is why the lack of communication between the two of you left you absolutely soulless.

you had never experienced such an intense love before him. everything was picture perfect in the beginning. it was even better than the movies.

but after two years, the miscommunication between you to became destructive.

things that should have been minor disagreements escalated into full blown arguments. you’d yell over each other, ignoring each other’s feelings and growing overwhelmingly defensive.

eventually, it became exhausting. you were both so angry all the time and too stressed with work or school to address it properly.

ultimately, you two mutually decided to call it quits. additionally, you later agreed that going no contact would be the best option for both of you.

now, half a year later, you were finally trying to move on.

after reading an endless amount of self-help books, you learned that after experiencing every stage of relationship grief (which you had), you theoretically should be ready to search for love again.

despite your reluctance, your best friends had forced you to join all the dating apps- urging you to hook up with someone new to get your mind off your ex.

it took days of swiping left on men that were literally the epitome of a walking red flag for you to finally find a man suitable enough to go on a date with.

his name was matthew. he recently graduated from college and instantly started a 9-5 working in finance. he spent his free time hiking. he had a golden retriever.

he was kind. he was stable. but he wasn’t hamzah.

you two had gone on a few dates. you had even hooked up after a couple of them.

as guilty as it made you, each hook up was spent closing your eyes- imagining hamzah on top of you. that it wasn’t matthew deep inside of you but it was hamzah; the one that knew your body like the back of his hand and knew just how to please you every time.

you were giving your all to this “moving on” stage but you simply weren’t satisfied.

that being said, when matthew had asked you to attend an old friend’s party with him on your last date, you politely agreed.

now here you were, shuffling through a crowd of sweaty bodies with a man that barely knew you guiding you by your waist.

“how do you know the host again?” you ask, nearly yelling over the music that was blasting through numerous speakers.

“he’s a friend from my hometown, remember? from ottawa?”

“right, right. i remember now.” you look up at him. you did not remember.

you two make your way into the kitchen. he pours shots of vodka into red solo cups and hands one to you.

you feel the familiar burn of alcohol stinging your throat as you down the shot.

“you look gorgeous tonight by the way. forgot to tell you earlier.” he tells you, running his hand up and down your waist.

hamzah would’ve told you earlier. he would’ve been kissing up and down your neck before you even finished your makeup while getting ready. reiterating how beautiful you are each time his lips left your skin.

fuck. there you go again. comparing everything matthew said or did to hamzah.

he’s not in your life anymore, you think to yourself. it’s time to get over him.

“thank you.” you answer matthew, mustering up a smile.

“you ready to go meet my friends?”

“yeah, let’s go! i’m excited to meet them.” you were lying straight through your teeth. but you continued to put on this enthusiastic act simply because he was nice.

he leads you to the main room where you meet a couple of his hometown friends. one named kyle. another named josh.

they were essentially carbon copies of matthew. frat bros that grew up and became finance guys.

you quietly listen as the boys catch up on one another’s lives.

until something, someone, catches your eye.

hamzah. he was across the large room with his back faced toward you. but it had to be him.

you could recognize the shape of his shoulders and you knew that those dark curls stuffed under a camo hat could only belong to him.

you stomach drops. somehow, you had never ran into him since the breakup.

the sight of him mixed with the alcohol made you sick to your stomach.

“hey”, you tap on matthew’s shoulder. “i’m gonna go find a bathroom real quick.” you explain.

“okay, just come find me when you’re done.” he replies before resuming his conversation with his friends.

you turn around, walking in the direction of a long hallway that you knew must have a bathroom.

you turn the doorknob of the first door you find and miraculously, it is a bathroom.

you clutch onto the counter, letting out a sharp exhale.

one of your hands grips to your stomach while you continue taking deep breaths.

in for 4. hold for 7. out for 8. you repeat.

a breathing technique that hamzah had taught you.

you hear the doorknob rattle. before you can say anything, the door is being launched open.

“oh shit! sorry!”, you hear a familiar voice as the door is being pulled closed again. “wait- y/n?”

the voice belonged to mandy. hamzah’s bestfriend’s girlfriend. you forgot that her and martin were from ottawa. they must’ve known the host of the party.

she steps inside, shutting the door behind her.

“are you okay? what’re you doing here? i haven’t seen you in so long.” she pulls you into a hug.

“yeah i’m here with some guy i’ve been seeing. but i saw hamzah and just needed to take a sec.” you explain during your embrace.

she pulls away, looking in your eyes.

“did he see you?”

“no, he was facing the other direction.”

“oh okay”, she nods and looks down.

“yeah. i haven’t seen him since we ended things so, it gave me a bit of panic attack.” you chuckle awkwardly.

“i’m sorry, y/n. break ups suck.” she pauses, “when i went through my first break up, i saw my ex at an amusement park about a month after. and i got so upset, i threw up in front of one of those stupid basketball games where you can win a big teddy bear.”

you laugh at her story, “seriously?”

“yes! it was so bad, the worker ended up giving me one of those huge bears out of pity!” she exclaims.

once your laughter dies down, mandy breaks the silence once again.

“he still talks about you, you know. every once in a while.”

every once in a while. you had thought of him every single day.

“every once in a while?”

“yeah. seems like most of the time it’s too hard for him to talk about. but sometimes, he can’t help himself.”

maybe he did think of you as often as you did.

“anyway”, she continues, “whose this new guy?”

she smirks teasingly.

“ugh. mandy, he’s so boring! but he’s so nice! he’s just- he’s nothing like hamzah. i don’t know- he’s really sweet, it’s just not, exciting? i guess?”

she nods. “well, if you want my advice..i say you shouldn’t stay with someone just because they’re nice to you. a lot of people are nice. only a few people will make you feel ‘sparks’ or whatever.”

you nod understandingly.

god you missed talking to her.

“i gotta get back to martin but if you want to talk to hamzah, he went out on the balcony. and let’s not have to run into each other at a random party to catch up again, ‘kay? text me.”

“okay.” you hug her tightly, “we’ll go for coffee soon.”

she smiles before exiting the bathroom.

you look into the mirror, trying to decide if going out on the balcony is a good idea.

“fuck it.” you whisper to yourself.

you didn’t know when you’d ever get the opportunity to speak to hamzah again. you had to go out on that balcony.

you walk out of the bathroom, sneaking past matthew who was still deep in conversation.

turning the corner past the main room, you find the sliding glass door to the balcony.

there he is. alone. sat on the small balcony, lighting a joint that hangs between his lips.

with his camo hat he wore a pair of dark wash jeans and white t-shirt.

you take a deep breath before reaching to slide open the door.

his head instantly whips towards you, his eyes widening a bit.

“hi.” you break the silence. you feel awkward. what are you supposed to say to someone you’ve been completely heartbroken over for the last six months?

“hey.” his eyes soften as he speaks.

“i, um- ran into mandy. she told me you were out here.” you explain to him.

he nods slowly. “come sit.” he pats the space on the floor next to him.

you do as he says. plopping onto the ground and pulling your knees to your chest.

he takes a drag from the joint between his fingers before pulling it out and handing it over to you. you two had shared a joint countless times during your relationship, making the action feel natural.

you bring the joint to your lips, sucking on it for a few seconds before blowing out the smoke and handing it back to him.

“how’ve you been?” he asks.

his voice was calm. you wondered how he could act so nonchalant in this situation.

“i’ve been okay. school’s been stressful.” you say, trying to avoid ranting about the emotional turmoil you’ve experienced since you two separated. “how about you?”

“good. just working a lot. martin and i upload multiple times a week now and run the merch ourselves so it’s been busy, but it’s fun.” his face lights up as he talks about it. he’d always been passionate about his career.

“that’s great, hamzah. i still remember when you had him up on that cracked screen just to have him on the pod.” you laugh.

“oh god, it was a shit show trying to get that thing to run properly.” he chuckles at the memory.

it falls silent for a moment.

“you still gonna become a journalist?” he asks, cocking his head to the side while looking at you.

“that’s the plan, yeah.” you answer.

“good. you were always good with words.”

“yeah?” you smile.

“of course, it’s why i was always calling you smarty pants.”

you chuckle at the nickname you’d forgotten about.

“i thought you were calling me that because of my attitude.” since childhood, you were teased for being bit of a know it all.

“i mean- yeah that was part of it.” he laughs, “but it was mostly because of that big brain of yours.”he taps his pointer finger to your temple.

“well, i don’t feel very smart these days.” you admit. “my grades have been slipping.”

“seriously? how come?”

“just had a rough last couple months.” you try to remain vague.

“your new guy not keeping you happy?”

your eyes widen. how did he know about matthew?

“did you see me with him inside?”

“yeah. i was about to walk into the kitchen when i saw you two together.”

you exhale deeply. “oh, uh. sorry about that.”

“answer my question, y/n.” his voice was low, serious.

“what?” your voice tinged with confusion.

“are you happy?”

you think for moment. you could lie, tell him you’re happy, let him believe that you’ve moved on. but everything in you wants to be honest with him.

“i’m trying to be.” you respond quietly before taking the joint from his hands and up to your mouth once again.

his eyes were glued to you as pushed the smoke from your mouth, like he was studying your face.

“that guy’s not right for you.” he shook his head as he spoke.

“hamzah, you don’t know him.” you’re not sure why you feel the need to defend matthew but you do.

“i can see what kind of guy he is—the kind that can’t even begin to grasp the complexity to you.” he explains.

“you’re high, hamzah. and you’re jumping to conclusions.”, you shift your position on the ground, “based on looks, might i add. didn’t they teach you not to do that in elementary school? the whole don’t judge a book by its cover thing? did you tune that part out?” you say as you stand from your spot. it pained you how well hamzah could read people- how accurate his description of matthew was.

“baby all this rambling makes it seem like you’re avoiding the truth—that he’s not good enough for you. and you’re not happy. i mean has he even noticed how long you’ve been gone?”

you forgot how stubborn this man could be.

you let out a defeated sigh. “it’s none of your business, really. and you’re right, i’ve been gone too long. i should get back to him.”

you steal the joint from his hand and take one last drag before you start to walk back towards the sliding glass door. you hear hamzah rise to his feet behind you.

“y/n, wait.”

you turn around, facing towards him again. “yeah?”

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that.” he apologizes.

“s’okay.”, you shrug your shoulders. “it was nice running into you.”

he nods agreeably.

you turn back around, beginning to accept that this was it. your last few seconds with him before you were back to no contact.

your hand reaches the sliding glass door, about to pull the door open when you hear hamzah’s voice once again.

“y/n, don’t go.”

don’t go.

“what?” you question, furrow your eyebrows.

he takes slow steps toward you, ditching his joint by throwing the remains of it to the floor.

he keeps walking towards you until you’re just a foot apart. he grabs your hand, pulling you to him and shifting your bodies so your lower back rested the black metal railing of the balcony as he stood directly in front of you.

his face was inches from yours. you could so easily lift your head and kiss him.

“come back to my apartment with me.” he whispered.

“why would i do that?” you replied, feeling the pace of your breath quicken due to the close proximity.

“because you miss me.” the corner of his mouth upturned into a cocky smirk. “and i miss you.”

you were speechless. all you could do was stare into his eyes, trying to decipher whether or not those words had actually just left his mouth.

you swallow harshly before speaking, “i’m here with someone else, hamzah. i’m going home with him.”

you try to stand your ground, but god you wanted to give in.

he scrunches his nose and shakes his head as he places his hands on the metal railing behind you, trapping you between his arms.

“but he doesn’t know you like i do.”

before you can respond, you feel his fingers brush your hair away from the side of your neck.

he places his hands on waist as his head falls to your neck, his plump lips hovering above your skin. your head instinctively leans to the side, giving him full access.

“does he know how much you like being kissed right here?” he whispers softly, feeling his lips move on your skin as he speaks.

he presses his lips to place where your neck and shoulder meet, remembering how much this spot had an effect on you.

you shut your eyes in utter satisfaction. you hated how much of an effect he had on you.

you bring your hands to his neck, then weaving your fingers through his curls as he continues kissing, sucking, and nipping at the sweet spots on your neck.

his hands float down, gripping onto your hips- another minuscule touch that he knew drove you crazy.

with his hands on your hips, he pulls your bodies closer. suddenly, the thought of matthew has completely vanished. you’re completely caught up in hamzah, and it felt so good- indulging in his recognizable scent and familiar touch.

you let out a soft moan as his hand falls to your ass, grabbing it shamelessly.

“hamzah, hamzah— i can’t, we can’t do this.” you say breathlessly, using your hand to tap on his chest.

hamzah steps back, his breath unsteady as watches you carefully, his gaze lingering on your lips. for a moment, you think he isn’t going to say anything— that he was just going to turn around and walk away.

but then he leans, his voice low “meet me outside in five.” his tone carrying both a question and a promise.

you feel a rush of nerves as he walks away, opening the sliding glass door and slipping back into the crowd.

you stay out there for a moment, catching your breath.

you shouldn’t go. you know you shouldn’t.

but you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he looked at you.

next part: with you all night

a/n: yuppppp part two coming very very soon and it’s gonna pick up right where this leaves off. sorry if this is long and boring, tbh i just needed something to distract myself from everything going on lol…k bye muah

[taylormarieee]

-Birds of a feather ~A Dean Winchester oneshot~

Summary: you and dean used to be a thing, attached at the hip like birds of a feather, he thinks you guys should stick together and honestly, so do you...

Word count: 2.7k

Pairing: dean winchester x fem!hunter!reader

Warnings: hurt to comfort, slight angst, fluff, illusions to sex but none takes place, sam being a supporter/wingman, kisses, touches, mutual pining, reader playing hard to get(just a lil bit), teasing, that's it! lmk if I missed stuff<33

A/N: Hey... how yall doing... I know i've been absent and i'm sorry, so here's a little fic to bring back the life in my blog!

You and dean were the "IT" couple. You guys did everything together, you guys were two peas in a pod. He loved and adored you and you respected and loved him.

You guys were made for each other and it showed. Sam used to get disgusted after a while when you two were so smitten about each other, but then came the arguments.

The arguments about the tiniest things. the arguments that led to angry sex. The moaning, and sweat on each others bodies. The feeling of him inside you was always a good way to release the stress, but then after that there would be a good day and then the cycle started again.

Until there was no more sex, just arguments that led to dean leaving at all hours of the night and you finding comfort in his younger brother.

Talking to sam felt like the best thing in the world every time you fought with dean. You hated fighting with him. He was your love, your future husband, the man of your dreams.

He meant the world to you, and you couldn't bear losing him to some shapeshifter or some demon or even just speeding to fast in his car.

That's why it hurt you when sam got the call that his brother was seriously injured in the hospital due to a car crash. He loved his car so it shocked you when you found out.

JANUARY 6TH 2004, LAWRENCE MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, 11:01PM...

You both rushed to the hospital and never left his side. When he finally woke up, you hated to break it to him but you couldn't do it anymore. The arguments, the cold shoulders, him driving off and staying out drinking his life away in all hours of the night.

You kissed him goodbye and left. You lived with Bobby for a little while just until you got on your feet but then you found out a demon was after you for what your father did, something you'll never know.

He's been dead for a little while. Your father. You've been trying to follow in his tracks for a while now.

But anyway, you have been living with Bobby for a while now and every time Bobby said that Dean and Sam were coming over, you always made sure you were never home.

But one day, Bobby didn't tell you and you heard the rev of that impala and immediately froze. You were in your room finishing up your drawing on this Wendigo you killed last week for Bobby with the help of Rufus.

"Hey bobby, what's up." Sam spoke, the vibration of his voice echoing around the halls.

You grabbed your sketchbook and tried to sneak downstairs and run out the back to where your car was parked but unfortunately, they were in the kitchen where the backdoor was.

You peeked in and of course Dean had to be the first one to notice you.

"C'mon out and stop hiding ya ijit!" bobby calls out drawing now Sams attention. Both of the Winchester brother's had wide eyes as they watched you come out from the corner.

You were wearing a black long sleeved crop-top with baggy jeans that had stars on the pant legs.

"I'm not an ijit bobby, how many times are you gonna call me that!?" you ask bobby while rolling your eyes trying not to acknowledge the brothers, specifically Dean whose eyes cannot leave your body and face.

'When did you get so many piercings.' he thought to himself.

"Well when you stop leaving the house for hours everytime I tell you there coming over, you haven't seen em in months almost a year now, you can't keep hiding." Bobby tells you.

you sigh and look at the both of them and that's when you lock eyes with dean again.

"Hey dean. Hey sam."

"Hey." they say in unison. you give them a tightlipped awkward smile and then put your journal down.

"Wanna see some of the drawings of my most recent kills so far? It's a lot of vampires, demons, wendigo's you know, the whole shebang." you aks with a smile.

They both smile at you like there proud and say sure. you nod and open your journal.

You had some notes and details next to your drawings. They all looked at it in fascination and awe.

"These are amazing! Did you hunt them all on your own?" Sam asks as he flips through the pages.

"N-no, well kinda. I had help every now and then." you say looking at bobby with a smile.

He grew to be your father and you really appreciated him for who he was and what he's done for you.

"These are really great but uh, can I talk to you outside for a minute? Please?" Dean asks looking at you with those puppy dog eyes that you knew you couldn't say no to.

"Yeah Dean, sure... cmon." you say as you walk outside with him near all of bobby's abandoned junky cars.

"What's up dean?" you asks folding your arms across your chest.

"how have you been?" he asks keeping it casual and short.

"I've been doing fine, how about you?" he smiles and steps a bit closer to you. you fight the urge to step back.

"I've been thinking about you. For months. Wonderin' where you've been, how you've been holdin' up but I see you've been doin' just fine." he says with a slight tilt of his head.

"Yea I have de-"

"I ain't finished just yet doll. Why have you been avoiding us? Avoiding me?" he asks sternly.

you roll your eyes, 'here we go'.

The conversation you've been dreading to have. You thought he'd just leave it alone but what the hell were you thinking?

This is Dean, THE Dean Winchester we are talking about here. He's relentless until he gets his way.

"Look Dean, I really don't want to talk about this right now ok? I don't wanna argue with you." you tell him in the most nicest way possible.

"Ok..." he takes a long pause. "Why not?" he asks, making you sigh a very annoyed and long sigh.

"Because Dean, the way we could turn a civil conversation into an argument was honestly stupid and insane, so please for the sake of saving me a headache and meltdown and you getting into another severe car crash, drop it." you explain to him.

His eyes soften almost. Letting the relentless side of him slowly fade away bringing out your dean, the soft mushy bear dean.

"You- you still remember that night?" he asks softly.

"dean I remember it like it was yesterday. All I have are nightmares of you in the hospital, your heart stopped beating for 5 minutes! How could I not think about how the man I loved died right in front of me over a damn argument! I always blame myself!" you shout.

"You shouldn't ha-" he starts.

"I shouldn't what? Have that guilt?! Oh, but I do Dean. Every day I play scenarios in my head. M-Maybe i-if I was more understanding then you wouldn't have left, maybe if I wasn't so mad over the smallest thing, maybe if I just talked it out like a normal human being, then maybe, MAYBE! the love of my life would still be with me right now."

His eyes widen. He's stunned at your confession but you don't even give him time to talk as you walk towards your car, A Cadillac DTS.

You hop in and drive off.

~NOVEMBER 18TH 2005, BOBBY'S GARAGE, 9:30PM~

Your car finally pulls up in the driveway and you notice that dean's impala is still here. 'So there staying the night huh?' you thought.

you turn off your car and get out. you open the door with the key you have and walk inside the house.

Bobby's asleep on the couch in front of the new tv you bought him two weeks ago.

You smile and grab the nearest blanket you can find and wrap it around him to shield him from the cold outside.

You lay a soft kiss to his head and whisper him a goodnight. you turn around and notice a figure standing in the kitchen, you jump and pull out your pocket knife but you realize it's just Sam.

"Hey, sam." you greet quietly.

H eturns around clearly pretending to not know about your prescence and smiles.

"Oh hey! I promised Bobby I'd still be awake in case you ever came back." he says as you walk over to stand next to him.

"aw thank's Sammy." you say with a geniune smile to which he reciprocates.

"hey, can I uhm, tell you something that I think you should hear?" he asks shifting his weight.

"yea go ahead." you respond crossing your arms in front of you, a habit you had.

"Dean hasn't been focused or okay ever since you left. He's been kinda broken. Screwing any girl that looked at him the right way or taking his anger out on me and that's nothing I can't handle but, I just hate seeing him like that." Sam expresses.

"Hate seeing him like what?" you ask concerned.

"Like a part of him is missing. Whenever I look at dean, he's staring into nothing, as if he's dead. There are nights where he mutters your name and hugs the motel pillows like they are you. Only to wake up facing the reality that your not there, your not here with him anymore." he explains.

"I just can't keep seeing my brother drink and fuck his life away until he slowly fades into nothing. I watched him die for 5 minutes, I'm not going to watch him suffer anymore. Please, bring the life back into my brother, that is all I ask." Sam asks and then walks away.

"goodnight." he say lastly before dissappearing into the other room.

you stand there, contemplating on what you just heard, clearly not seeing the effect you left not only on dean but on sam as well. It tugs at your heart and suddenly you feel dizzy, almost like you can't breathe.

You step outside for a second and breathe in the cool air. You sit down and cry, you just cry and cry.

~MEANWHILE, INSIDE WITH SAM AND DEAN, 3 HOURS PRIOR~

"Sam come on please. You gotta tell her. I can't keep doing this anymore, you said it yourself Sammy." dean pleads with sam.

Dean had asked Sam to talk to you, to just tell her how he's been feeling and tell her that he needs you, that he can't keep living without you.

After you broke up with him so randomly in the hospital, he just couldn't keep going.

He was constantly overstimulated and constantly angry. The anger in him never died down until he saw you today for the first time in months.

His heart warmed up at the thought of seeing you in that outfit and being so bubbly, it made him miss you all the more.

Like a burning flame that was slowly dying and losing its light and being drained of its passion by the coldness of your heart.

It left him stunned that you could do something to him after such a tramatic experience.

All he wanted was for you to fuel him back to life, bring the happiness back into his life.

All those other chicks he fucked and left in different towns just weren't doing it for him anymore.

Not like you.

You had him hooked. Enfatued by your mere presence. He needed to be careful with you though.

Placing the sofest touch to the weakest petal. Caring for you like a rare feather.

He never wanted you to leave his side, because right now? He was going crazy in the maze in his empty mind.

He may be speaking in poems or riddle form but for you? He couldn't contain or shield his seeping heart that was torn.

And that his why his brother had to confess that to you, what dean didn't predict was for it to go that way.

~BACK TO THE PRESENT- NOVEMBER 18TH 2005, 10:45PM~

Your just sitting outside now, all forms of crying done. You didn't know how much you hurt dean that night.

You were just doing what was best for you, but I guess that was you being selfish. You only added salt to an already salty wound.

You made him bleed more than he did that night. You made his heart collapse.

He was your everything, and you guess seeing him die that night, you felt the need to distance yourself as much as possible to make sure you didn't lose him again.

And yet, all you did was hurt him even more and make your life and his ten times worse.

Bobby was right, you couldn't keep hiding from him. He was your savior and your becon.

He was always there at your beck and call. You both flew together like two parrots in love.

You stuck by each other like seahorses. You made him whole and he made you complete.

You were each other's puzzle pieces. He was the Clyde to your Bonnie.

You were going to do everything and anything it takes to get him back to you.

You get up, ready to open the door but someones hand is already turning the knob before you and it swings open.

Dean...

"Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone was out here," he announces tiredly.

Your frozen, you forgot how good Dean always looked when he woke up in the middle of the night.

Tousled hair, soft pink lips, and glazed-over eyes shining in the moonlight.

"n-no it's ok, I was actually going to come look for you. I wanted to talk to you. Is that ok?"

"Yea yea, that's fine with me." he says a slight smile on his face.

You both sit down staring at the stars in silence before Dean speaks up.

“so, what’s wrong?” He speaks out into the misty air of the night.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I should have never left you that night. You died and then came back and you were fucking suffering and I just hurt you even more. I know you can probably never forgive me for that and I just wanted to let you know that I am incredibly sorry. I love you Dean, your the love of my life, your my safe place. I wouldn’t even be alive half the time if it wasn’t for you, I am grateful for you, your my future husband and I know I ruined my chance of ever getting to kiss you again but just know it’s ok and I’m sorry.” You speak out in one breath!

Dean blinks as it takes him a second to register what you said because you spoke so fast but he eventually chuckled and pulls you closer to him.

“Oh doll, I love you so much and I forgive you, why wouldn’t I? You’re the only thing that kept me going. My motivation to find my dad, my motivation to move on and protect Sam. I don't know where I would be without you and my brother. I love you for that and I���m grateful to have you here with me right now. No more focusing on the past, time for the future. Cmon, let’s go inside.” He says with a smile on his face

you nod and smile grabbing deans hand so he can pull you up. He walks towards the door to open it and you stop him by grabbing his hand.

“Dean wait!” you exclaim. He turns around with confusion and you grab his face and kiss him. You kiss him roughly and you kiss him with so much passion.

He grabs your waist and kisses you back with the same amount of passion.

you both break the kiss and rest your heads on each other.

“don’t know what that was for but I really liked it.” Dean speaks with a smirk on his face to which you giggle at.

“wanted to seal the deal of our love.” You say with a smile.

“your such a tease you know that? I was pining for you all day.” He says with a smile

“well what can I say? I’m a girl that likes to play hard to get. The moment I laid eyes on you today I wanted to pounce on you.”

“Well baby, you got all night.” He says with a smirk and a wink.

Birds of a feather, we always knew you two would stick together...

Taglist: @dollyfl1rt @itzdarling + anyone else who wants to join!

[ijuliet]

enhypen sexual guilty pleasures (s)

enhypen and their small/sexual habits with you

paring : legal line!enhypen x fem!reader

warnings : oral(f+m), heesung is sorta controlling (blowjob), angry make out w/ jay, jake eating reader out, sunghoon jerking off/kinda pervy

wc : ~1k

MINORS DNI!!

· lee heesung

anytime you were innocently on your knees next to your boyfriend, the restraints of his cock began to grow. for example, the times you picked something up from the ground, were a sweetheart and got the lower cabinet for him, or tied the laces of your shoes, heesung couldn’t help but get hard.

until one night you were all celebrating the boys comeback at the dorm, slipping off of your boyfriend’s lap and into the kitchen. heesung kept his eyes on your shadow as he saw you moving about. he got up from his seat after a while and was pleased with the scene he walked into.

you were lighting a candle on a cake and trying to suppress the flame from dying by covering it with the palm of your hands. you were on your knees and looked up with puppy dog eyes.

“i was just trying to surprise you guys...” you sighed, thinking your plan was ruined. heesung could feel himself in his pants— hard and heavy.

your boyfriend walked over to your innocent yet sinful position and looked at you with a recognizable glare. eyeing him through your lashes, you cocked your head to the side.

heesung reached his hand out to you and helped you back up to your feet. taking the cake from your hands and placing it on the counter beside you.

"can you do me a favor, baby?" he says as he interlocks your fingers. you nod your head, already taking a guess at what your boyfriend was going to ask.

"give the boys their cake and tell them you’re going home, feeling a bit drowsy, right?” his free hand reaches up to your chin, and his thumb glides over your bottom lip.

"but you forgot your phone in my room."

heesung's favor was simple to complete: you congratulated the boys, and they all smiled at you, thinking you were just the sweetest girl ever after bringing a cake for them.

but you had deceived them.

right next door you were on your knees, tears rolling down your face as you gagged on heesung’s cock. looking up at him through your eyelashes caused the boy cover his mouth to stifle his moans.

· park jongseong

heated arguments always led you and jay to become entangled with each other. his head between your thighs or your hands in his pants— it didn’t matter; it was bound to happen.

it all started because of your outfit. you had plans with your mutual friends and had gotten ready with jay. you had asked for his opinion on your clothes, but it seemed his phone was more interesting.

finally, at the restaurant, you were seated between jake and your boyfriend. but for some odd reason, jay’s grip on your thigh did not stop you from sharing your interests with jake and his dog. you had even planned to meet his pet, making jay caress his jaw beside you to calm himself.

the trip back home was silent, and you smiled out the window, knowing what was going to happen next.

when you made it home safely and the door behind you clicked locked, jay immediately pinned you against the cold wall.

“what’s so special about jake, huh?” jay crashed his lips against yours, taking the air out of your lungs.

“fuck baby, you just had to ignore me.” his hands roughly bunched up your skirt to your hips as his wet kisses traveled down your neck. when he was met with skin and not the hem of your panties, the chuckle he emitted made you regret your choices.

“you’re in for it tonight.”

· sim jaeyun

jake woke up with you in his bed and smiled at your sleeping state. he stumbled out of bed with his boxers hanging low on his hips, looking around for his shirt, but remembered the activities of the night before.

jake caught the neckline of his shirt on your chest and saw the outline of your boobs. unsurprisingly, he was hard.

the same event occurred last night; after showering together and borrowing one of jake's shirts, he just had to fuck you with it on.

you stirred in your sleep as you felt someone weirdly staring at you. opening your eyes slowly, you saw jake at the foot of the bed smirking with a look of lust.

the sight made you giggle and rub your eyes awake as he took the duvet off your body in one quick pull.

"i won’t take too long." jake crawled up and in between your legs, planting sweet kisses and groaning along your thighs. your hands ran through his blonde locks as his mouth ghosted over your wet cunt. one of his large hands made its way under his shirt as his slim fingers fondled your breast.

"wear my clothes more often, baby." you moan as you feel jake’s cold tongue between your folds.

“and i’ll have to fuck you all day.”

· park sunghoon

that perfume.

the perfume you carefully apply to your body everyday is enough to make sunghoon crumble. it's on his clothes, in his room, and he even smells it on his own members.

the perfect mix of formal and intoxicating. even miles away, he can’t stop thinking about you and your scent.

while on tour, sunghoon had packed one of his sleep shirts that he didn’t have time to throw in the wash, and as he rummaged in his luggage at night, your perfume instantly made its way to his nostrils.

"fuck," he cursed underneath his breath. you were unaware that this was enough to make your boyfriend’s cock hard.

sunghoon would call himself put together, but the way he had already begun to palm his bulge made him shake his head.

how could something so normal make him so on edge? as he closed his eyes, sunghoon imagined it was you in his shirt, hands running up and down his length, encouraging your boyfriend to let go and release.

and he did; he threw his head back and groaned as white strings gathered in front of him and onto his only clean sleep shirt.

guess he’d just have to send you his shirtless ab pics in return ;)

this one’s for my engenes <3

did u like!!! hope ya did :) feel free to send in recs or hard thoughts!!

[tyudearyous]

blurred lines - s.mg

pairings : song mingi x reader (f)

genre : fluff, angst, suggestive

themes : friends with benefits au where reader carries her heart on her sleeves while mingi's just mingi.

wc : 5.4k

author's note : had several discussions on mingi with my mutuals in twitter and it made me want to write this so badly LMAO. light suggestive themes like kissing. please enjoy 🤍🤍

🎵 do me right - gemini, drunken texts - jey, honey (medasin remix) - kucka, close to me - laica, mimi - youra, dirty - jey, omega - saay

masterlist

...

fervent knockings could be heard blasting through the thin wood of your front door. who the hell is knocking at your door at motherf- it's 2 in the morning. gosh, you thought. you tried waking up yourself to greet the unwanted guest in front of your door. you had suspicions, it wasn't an unusual thing anyway that you had this late night guests.

"come onnn, open the door!" more knockings could be heard with slurred whines from a male. you immediately knew who it was from the voice. "what is it, mingi?" you opened the door to the (very) drunk 6ft male in front of you. he smelled like alcohol and you're sure he's drank more than 10 shots, considering how he looks.

the man immediately slumped to you to hug and lean on to you. you brought him in and gosh, he was very heavy. well, mingi was twice your size and yet you had to carry him in because he's a drunken mess right now.

"you d-didn't answer hic my hic callss" mingi whined while pouting. "it's 2 AM mingi, two in the morning, what did you expect?" you sat him up on your couch and you scurried to get him a glass of water so he'll sober up just a bit.

"are you mad at me? hic" mingi asked. "what made you think i was angry?" you halted on your tracks, staring at him confusedly. "i didn't get close hic to any girls hic. i was at hic the party because it was hic san's birthday hic. sorry" he tried explaining himself. well, truthfully you hated it when he goes to those types of parties but who are you to dictate over his life. you were only his friend, only a friend.

you didn't answer him. you stayed quiet and gave him the glass of water he needed. he was eyeing you the whole time, waiting for your response. then you just sat next to him, still quiet. mingi didn't spoke any further, he only drank the water you gave him and simply stared at you, with the eyes of a puppy whose owner just scolded.

"i'm not mad, why should i?" you answered him when you noticed that he really wanted an answer from you. "i'm sorry" was all he muttered before leaning in for a kiss. you didn't kiss back and tried to pull back but mingi was strong. he was stronger than you. so, it was useless.

you sighed to yourself before giving in. it was always like this. always like that. mingi'd get busted drunk and then he'll go to your place and boom you'd do it and then he'd leave before you even woke up. it was always like that. almost like a cycle even. you genuinely don't know when did it start. when did your friendship turn into one with such benefits. when did your innocent friendship turn into this?

...

"i genuinely don't get how you both are friends" san states as he downs an entire cake on one singular bite. "ew! you eat like a kid sannie" wooyoung scolds san. "but honestly yeah, how did you two became friends" sujung asked you both. you and mingi simply stared at each other before raising each others' shoulders together. san, wooyoung and sujung only sighed at your responses. you could only awkwardly laugh before saying you didn't know.

it was random honestly. you saved mingi from getting scolded from the first day of school when you found him sneaking in through the back gates of your school. he was late and tried to sneak in, avoiding the guarding teacher. you were on your way to go back to the assembly hall when you saw him stare at you, eyes begging you to help him. well, the situation was his pants got stuck on the wire of the back gate. it was laughable but you helped him before sneaking him in the assembly hall. from there on, he was stuck to your hips.

"yo" mingi nudged your arms while slightly leaning to you. you moved away slightly. "what?" you asked him back. "no plans today?" he asked you while taking your right hands to play with it. this particular tendency of his just never fails to bring butterflies to your heart but well, he was your friend. just a friend who's particularly clingy, nothing more, nothing less so you shrugged off the feeling before shaking your head to answer his questions. "good, go home with me m'kay?" he leaned to your shoulders while asking the question. you shoved him away before clicking your tongue. he laughed it off and focused back to the lesson.

you glanced to look at him. he was smiling whilst trying to focus on the class. you genuinely don't know how you make me feel don't you?, you thought, well thought you thought but you vocalized your thoughts, making mingi turn his head to you and look at you confusedly. you realized what you just muttered. "nothing! go focus again" you pushed mingi's head to not look at you.

"y/n and mingi!" mr. kim shouted after seeing the two of you constantly interacting. "focus on the lesson!" he said, making the entire class laugh under their breath. the two of you muttered apologies before actually focusing on the lesson.

...

"mingi..." you stared at him dissapprovingly. "what?" he gave you the spare helmet he prepared specially for you. "do you... even have a license?" you asked him. "missy, don't worry you're in safe hands. we're not going on the main street anyways. hop on, come on" mingi ushered you to hop on the back seat of his brand new (?) harley.

"when did you even get this?" you asked him, still not wanting to hop on. "my dad bought it for me last year, but he only just allowed me now. oh come on, y/n. trust me, i'm good at this" he begged you with puppy eyes. after several attempts of begging in typical song mingi style, you agreed and hopped on the back seat of his bike.

"this is a high one huh?" you muttered when you were already on the bike. "get used to it, i'm gonna bring you around with this a lot" he muttered before putting on his helmet and starting the bike. "hold on to me, okay?" he pulled your hands to the sides of his waist. you held on to him while your heart was going on a whole marathon.

the whole ride you could feel your body heating up. not because it was hot or anything, it was because of the man you're currently hugging and leaning on to. a part of you wanted to lean on his back fully but a part of you don't really want to. however, as if this man was a devil's incarnate, he pulled your hands forward, making you fully lean on his back. "don't fall" was all he muttered before continuing to drive. was this the heavens testing you and your sanity? well, all you know is that you're going insane and also red. you're just thankful that he can't see you right now.

"we're here" mingi parked the bike beside a park. he took off his helmet and blazer. "why aren't you hopping off?" mingi chuckled, knowing damn well that you are struggling. it was your first time riding such high bike and you genuinely don't want to embarrass yourself by falling down a harley. "help me bitchass" you scoffed at him. he laughed for a good minute before actually helping you get off the bike. when you're on the ground, you immediately grabbed his shoulders to headlock him.

"ah! ah! sorry! hahaha sorry come on" mingi pleads guilty but you were way too annoyed, so you took a handful of his hair before pulling on it slightly to joke around with him. "aAaAAahhHhhh! please i don't want to be bald y/n!" he laughs while screaming. you let him go after that before laughing at his pouty face.

"okay sorry, stop pouting okay?" you stood on your tip toes to pinch his cheeks. his pouty face became a smiley one now and you both stared at each other for a while before going on a fit of laughter because of each other's face.

"okay, be real. why did you brought me here?" you asked mingi. he just shrugged his shoulders before walking to the park, which you followed suit. "i just wanted to destress you know?" he mutters before taking a seat on the stairs. from there, you can see the serene waters of a river nearby.

"why didn't you ask yunho? i'm sure he'd make time for you, after that whole moral loyalty thing" you chuckled, taking a seat next to him on the stairs. "nah, wanted you to be my first passenger" mingi replied. you tilted your head. first passenger? oh. so he planned this all for you.

"is that also your moral loyalty to me?" you nudged his arms, teasing him. he nodded with a smug grin that was asking to be praised. you scoffed and laughed so hard seeing this. "song mingi, you hopeless one" you slapped his arms jokingly.

"i'm serious though, i'd always give my firsts to you, besides yunho" you immediately stared at him. "dude" you replied, mingi only raised his eyebrows to you. "do you realize what you're implying dumbo" you scoffed at him before punching his arms lightly. "yea, i fully realize it." he scooted closer to you.

"did you plan this too?" he was getting closer to you. when he got really close to your face, your breath hitched and he smiled. HE SMILED, he had the audacity to. "no but i welcome surprises you know?" his eyes diverted from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes while your eyes were fully on his. your body tensed and you couldn't even think clearly.

"i won't do it if you don't want to" mingi spoke but definitely getting closer to you. you pulled back slightly to look at mingi. "will this be your first kiss?" you ask him, he nodded. you diverted your gaze from his eyes to his lips. well, let's be honest. this is song mingi we're speaking of. he's very VERY attractive and yes, you do want to kiss him. without thinking too much, you allowed him to and there, in the park near the river around 5 blocks from your school, you shared your first kiss with song mingi.

...

however, it wasn't only your first kiss that was taken by song mingi. your first time was also his and vice versa. it was perhaps a month after you shared your first kiss? yeah, around those time. during that period, your relationship slightly got more and more physical. you'd sneak out at break session to make out with him at the old unused building of your school or he'll drive you to somewhere quiet and serene to just envelope you in a kiss (kisses).

so when mingi decided it'd be good to invite you to his place when his parents and brother went to vacation, it was all bound to happen. you gave him your first and you were also his first. it was awkward, truthfully. two youths not knowing what to do, just knowing small details here and there from explicit videos or books. you two even spent about half an hour just giggling because of how dumb the two of you looked, trying to figure out what to do. however, when he truly figured out what to do with you, it was bliss. pure bliss. he was gentle and he ultimately prioritized you. it was all wonderful for your first and you're more than glad that he was your first.

"hey" mingi uttered, laying down next to you after coming down from his own high. you just shuffled to your side to look at him. "that was good" he chuckled.

"thanks" you muttered, still looking at him. "my pleasure" then he brought you in for a hug and kissed your forehead before lulling you to rest. it was great, everything felt great, being in his embrace felt great. however, will all of this be an ephemeral moment? you thought to yourself. you quickly shrugged it off though after hearing his soft snores. he's tired now and you too, so you closed your eyes and went off to dream land in mingi's arms.

that was the start where all the lines in your relationship with mingi became blurred.

...

back to the present day, you actually succeeded in making his stop his moves on you. "you're drunk min" you pushed him away, resulting in him stopping. "hic come on" he tried getting closer again and you slapped his arms.

"go wash up, i'm not dealing with you tonight" you left the living room to go to your room and sleep. that was the first time you succeeded in getting away from mingi's drunken advances. not long after you went to your room, the crickling sounds of water can be heard through the bathroom. he's washing up probably, you thought. since he was sober enough to shower, you rested yourself up, not worried since he's sober enough. but if he was sober enough, why did he still insisted on doing it? countless what ifs and scenarios went through your head but you shrugged it all. after all you were just his friend, just a friend. actually scratch that, you've crossed the lines of just friends with him since a long time ago but none of you were brave enough to remove that line between you.

either way, you went to sleep. you don't want to get over into your head tonight, not when mingi is still present in your place.

not long after you tried to fall asleep, mingi entered your room and sat on the edge of your bed. "i know you're not asleep" he mutters before playing with your hair. you weren't facing him, your back was. you feigned ignorance to his pleas of your attention. it wasn't long until he decided to just lay down next to you.

"listen, sorry." he stated into the quiet room. "for what?" you replied to him. "face me" he said before pulling your body, making you face him now. he was looking at you. his eyes just felt somber? it wasn't one you're used to for sure.

"sorry for being a dick" he says while tracing your features with his left hand. you only stared at him, not giving him any answers. "i went to san's party today and got kinda drunk. sobered up though and thought of you immediately. that's why i went here. sorry for pushing myself onto you, should've not done that" he explains himself. you just nodded.

"can i be honest?" you asked him, in which he nodded to. "i'm tired of this all. you always come over when you're drunk. we'll do it until dawn then you'll leave immediately then the next day when we meet, we have to act as if nothing happened. then the cycle repeats, over and over again. genuinely, what are we mingi?" you asked him.

he stayed silent for a while. "i don't expect anything from you, so don't worry but just, you know? i feel tired. i tried, i tried mingi. i tried to do this all without strings attached but, i guess it's just your personality. you'd say things that made me hopeful. you'd do things that made me hope. hope that someday, the blurred line in our relationship would be clear. we're not just friends, min. you know that. friends don't do this. friends don't kiss. friends don't do each other. friends don't act like this" you explained your feelings to him. you were ready to accept rejection, you were ready to let everything go honestly. you didn't care, you were tired of being the one having to keep everything to herself. you were ready to let him go.

"i don't have much to explain honestly. it just feels comfortable with you. everything feels right with you, that's why i'm being like this with you. i'm sorry for hurting you. i'm sorry, y/n. if this all just hurts you, i'm willing to let you go. we can act like normal friends again. i'm sorry for having commitment issues. i'm sorry baby" he grazed your cheeks with his hands before muttering countless apologies to you.

"can i at least know why?" you ask him. "i'm not good enough for you. i'm genuinely not. you deserve someone better, y/n. if i had a heart i would've given it all to you but i wouldn't want you to have my ugly heart." mingi explained himself, slightly tearing up. "who said that" you laughed while pinching his cheeks.

"myself. i've never told you this honestly" you tilted your head, hands still on his cheeks. poking it repeatedly to lighten up the mood. "when that joohyuk guy tried to get close to you, i was the one who made him walk away" he revealed the truth. ever since you became friends with him, he developed a slight sense of protection. he wanted you to himself and he loathed it when anyone tried to get close to you.

"you have severe commitment issues, man" you laughed at him. "aight, i'm guilty of that" he raised his hands to the air jokingly. "this would be the last we'll be like this, hmm?" you asked, gazing at the ceiling. "yeah" was all mingi could mutter before he pulls you in for a cuddle. you didn't reject it. you were letting go of him, it was for your best. it hurts but you couldn't continue putting yourself in that situation. it would only hurt more if you stayed.

"i love you, please know that" mingi mutters before kissing your forehead. why? why did he have to be like this? but perhaps this was the universe's way of telling you that not everything can go in the way you want. it hurts so much, gosh, you felt like crying in his embrace but you held it in. you held everything in.

"i love you, it's bad for me song mingi" was all you could say to him. that day, the blurred lines between your relationship was removed and made clear once again. that you were just his friend, nothing more, nothing less.

...

it's a friday night after work when you decided to tag along with your coworkers to a nearby fancy bar that had just opened. work has been brutal lately. clients have been coming continuously and amidst all the chaos, you're grateful things are going well at your work. you're also thankful that the team you're taking charge of are also very cooperative and professional. making the brutal workload sort of easier for you to handle. it has also been 5 years since you graduated university. you haven't had the chance to meet any of your friends post graduation, mainly because a lot of them got work opportunities abroad. that's why you genuinely didn't expect to see song mingi in front of the bar you and your coworkers went to. he's changed a lot from the last time you saw him. his hair no longer black like the last time you saw him but was now brown. his figure also got bigger but one thing stayed the same. he was still the song mingi, your first love.

"hey, i'm gonna catch up for a bit, chat me where you guys are sitting later okay?" you separated yourself from your coworkers, walking up to strike a conversation with mingi. the man you've let go but still definitely missed.

"mingi?" his eyes that was focused on his phone shot up to you. he seemed surprised to see you, to the point he dropped the single cigar his left hand was holding. "y/n?" he asked, surprised.

"i thought you'd go to the states with yunho?" you walked closer, now standing in front of him. "n-no, wait, do i look okay?" he scurried to open the camera app to look at himself. he looked like a loser getting worried over nothing.

"you've grown a lot huh?" you tilted your head to tease him. "now what does that supposed to mean, little missy?" he teased you back. you two laughed together and catch up on what you've missed. turns out he did went to the states with yunho post graduation. however, he went back as his father decided it'd be good for him to take charge of the family business, thus why he's here again.

"did you change your number?" mingi asked you. "oh, yeah. my old phone broke so i had to change it" you explained yourself. he then offered his phone and you immediately typed in your new number for him.

"you with your friends?" he asked. you nodded before clarifying that they were your coworkers. "i see" he mumbled before opening his arms. you immediately went into his embrace. the two of you shared a hug in front of a bar. it was silly to explain but it was great.

"missed you so much" mingi pulled you closer to his embrace. you patted his back and returned the same sentiment. "okay, enough. your coworkers are probably looking for you" he pulled back and patted your head. you nodded before bidding goodbyes. you had many questions for him but you had no time.

"mingi" you called out to him. "yeah?" he replied. "a meal next time?" you asked him and he agreed. so you bid goodbyes and you entered the bar.

...

two weeks passed and today was the day you and mingi were going out to catch up with each other. he insisted on picking you up after work, so you allowed him to. when the clock hits 6 PM straight, you left for work to see the same white harley davidson you first rode on a random friday after school at 18.

"you still have this?" you laughed at mingi before taking the helmet he gave you. "why would i get rid of it?" he scoffed before starting the machine. "come on, hop on" you hopped on the bike. you didn't struggle this time though because the years of being friends with mingi definitely trained you to hop on and off tall bikes. you then put your hands to envelope mingi's waist, so you don't fall off the bike. butterflies were flying off your stomach at this point, but again. you didn't expect anything. there wasn't much to expect from since the beginning anyway.

the two of you then arrived in a cozy little restaurant that you used to go to with him a lot. "i haven't been here in a while" you commented as you got off the bike. "mhm, it's far from your place" he held your hands to make sure you weren't falling off the bike. these little gestures were why you fell for him in the first place.

you both went into the restaurant and sat at the corner seat where you used to seat a lot. when you ordered, the owner actually remembered you and mingi so it was a pleasant experience to have some sort of nostalgia. it has been 5 years and many have changed but at the same time, it just feels like nothing has changed.

you both ordered your own foods just like you'd always do. the dinner went on a comfortable silence. just like the old days, but you're no longer youths now. you've both grown into full fledged adults now.

"so, you're like a CEO now?" you asked mingi while still munching on the fried rice you ordered. "sort of? i mean my father is still the head, i'm just like managing things here and there" he explained his job. mingi actually came from golden spoon but he isn't the type to show it off at all. he preferred to be quiet about it since he valued honesty in friendships, not wanting to have friends just because of his money.

"how about you?" he asked, eyes fully on you now. "i'm just a team leader at a food company" you then explained your job and also ranted about your job perhaps but you digress. "that's good. i'm glad you're doing well" he stated, smiling. "i'm also glad you're doing well too" you replied to him.

"but, i don't remember you like smoking? didn't you hate it?" you asked him. "i only smoke sometimes, not all the time. just when i feel like it you know?" he explains. you remember when hongjoong made him try cigarettes for the first time and how mingi absolutely loathed it, coughing endlessly before pledging he'd never touch it again, but here we are ironically. "you don't cough now because of it?" you scoffed to tease him about it. "oh come on, i've grown" he laughed.

the entire meal went by like a flash. it was a great nostalgia. the food tasted the same as you remembered and when you finished, he paid for your meals. you tried asking him to split the bill but he refused to. well, he's always been that type so you just let him.

"you wanna go elsewhere?" he asked you. "where?" you asked him back. "my place, i just moved into a new place and well, i have a dog now. i wanted to introduce you to her" you tilted your head and laughed at his invitation. "mingi-ya, you're not slick you know?" you laughed so hard, you threw your entire body back. he only laughed slightly at your reaction. "come on, do you want to or not?" you held back your laughters before nodding. thus, the two of you were off to mingi's place.

...

when you arrived, turns out he now lived in a sky penthouse in the elite area. well, you weren't shocked. he was a golden spoon after all, but yeah it was still shocking to experience it. he lived in the 18th floor and when he opened the door, you were immediately greeted by a small pekingese dog.

"awww!!! what's its' namee?" you kneeled down to play with the dog in the foyer. "bbyongie" mingi utters while taking your coat and his to place it in the coat hanger. "aww, is it a he or she?" you asked again. "he" mingi walks off to sit at the couch. "come on, bbyong-ah come over" and with that the dog immediately went to mingi and played with him. you took the chance to take off your shoes and put your bags on the hanger.

"a penthouse huh?" you finally got the time to look at his new place. "you like it?" mingi asked you while playing with bbyongie. "mhm, if i had the money i'd get a place like this" you laughed while walking to look at the kitchen area. "this huge kitchen, do you even cook?" you teased him. "y/n. my mom owns a restaurant. of course i can cook you dimwit" he stood up to follow you on your little tour of his place.

"what's this room?" you pointed at the room next to the kitchen, not realizing he was standing behind you. when you realized that he was though, you moved away in shock. "that's not a room, that's the pantry" mingi explained while opening the pantry for you to see. "ohh okay" you moved on to look at the other rooms. he actually gave you a whole house tour. it was funny but like, this house was big and it was interesting to see how your friend has been living up.

"upstairs?" you asked. "just my room" he answered. you nodded and didn't go up the stairs, wanting to value his privacy. "don't wanna see?" he asked you. you tilted your head, confusedly. what was he trying to imply? is he oblivious or is he being sly?. "why would i see your bedroom dummy" you shrugged it off and went to play with bbyongie once again.

"i haven't dated anyone after we broke it off" he states simply. your hands that was playing with bbyongie stopped and you leaned back on the couch. "so? what is that supposed to mean for me, mingi?" you asked him. you weren't oblivious and you were certainly more than able to put two and two together but you kind of refused to. were you ready to have that type of relationship again with mingi? even if he commits to you now, were you ready? you genuinely don't know thus why you were acting nonchalant.

"don't pretend like you don't know what i mean" he was standing next to you now. "was this your plan?" you asked him. he nodded. "it was now or never you know?" he laughed slightly.

"you know, i don't know. even if you are willing to commit now mingi, i don't know." you bite your lips before looking down. he walked to your front and leaned on to you. "give me a second chance, would you? i'll prove it to you" his face was only a few centimetres away from you. if you moved your head forward slightly, your lips would've touched but you did the opposite. you pulled back slightly.

"convince me?" you pouted slightly before looking up at him. giving him a signal, that he can do what he wants. understanding this he carried you upstairs immediately, leaving bbyongie confused downstairs.

when you reached his bedroom, he immediately pushed you down his bed and locked lips with yours. "min- ah, wait" you tugged on his shirt. he was getting aggressive and it wasn't a pace you're used to, so you were out of breath. he pulled back, noticing you were struggling to breathe.

"did the 5 years of not getting laid made you rusty, huh?" he teased you. you slapped his arms immediately. he wasn't wrong but that was uncalled for. "sorry" he chuckled before enveloping you in another kiss. this time softer and gentler. your hands moved from his arms to grab on his hair. this earned a groan from him and ultimately deepened the whole interaction. you could feel your lips getting puffy by the time you were both out of breath.

"missed this so much" he moved to nuzzle on your shoulders now. pressing soft kisses to it before nipping on it, leaving red marks that you definitely need to cover with concealers tomorrow. "you don't have work tomorrow right?" you shook your head. "good" then he continued to do what he was doing, this time rougher.

"hey, just because i don't have work doesn't mean you can go ham on marking you dimwit" you pulled his hair to pull his face from your shoulders. "sorry, just this once please" he was begging with puppy eyes. you pinched his nose before sighing. you were weak to his puppy eyes, so you just let him be.

"minmin" you called out. he stopped to look at you. "before i let you do more, what are we?" you cupped his cheeks. unlike last time where he hesitated on his answers, he was smiling now. "lovers? if you want to" he answered your question with a big grin on his face. "learned your lesson now huh?" you joked while pinching his cheeks. "yes, i'm sorry so let me love you, okay?" he begged. you nodded before encircling your arms on his back to bring him to another kiss.

hesitancy out of the window, just pure love present in the room. if you thought everything was ephemeral, you were proven wrong. perhaps everything happened because you both weren't ready. but now that you are, the universe has decided to bring you together.

toujours et pour toujours.

(always and forever)

the end.

[moonlightspencie]

Wrong Time

Description: Dean doesn’t know how to act right. Sam doesn’t get the animosity. Reader is just trying to live life. Otherwise known as Mutual Pining: the Fanfic.

Pairing: jealous!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader, platonic!Sam Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: jealous dean :), minor angst, spells and other supernatural things, plenty of fluff

Word Count: 6.6k

A/N: originally posted on tumblr like 3 years ago (rip in peace to the like 3k notes it had). then posted to ao3. now it’s back on tumblr.

I walked into the bunker after Sam and Dean, throwing my bag down as soon as my feet hit the floor. I shuffled into the library, noticing Castiel at a table on a laptop.

“How was the hunt?” He looked up at me.

“It was crap,” Dean answered gruffly. I took a chance look at him, and he shot me a glare that could kill. “I’m taking a shower.”

Sam watched his brother stalk past. “I— it was… Fine. I mean, something almost went wrong, but we all ended up okay.”

Cas nodded slowly. Then he noticed my expression. “Are you okay, (Y/N)? You look unwell.”

“It was my fault.”

“(Y/N)—” Sam started.

“No, Sam, I mean— I was stupid. I almost got myself killed. I would have been if Dean didn’t find me first.”

“Still wasn’t your fault, we all make mistakes.”

“What do you mean you almost got killed?” Cas interjected.

I huffed a sigh, sitting next to him. Sam took a seat across from me.

“Well, we walked into the vamp nest, and started going to town. It seemed like it’d be pretty easy to take care of, but then I heard a boy crying. I went to go look for him, and— and I saw him. He was in another room, probably about 15, 16 years old. I didn’t think anything of it and went to go help him, but he… I was wrong. He was turned, just trying to get his prey to come to him, apparently.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “What happened? Are you alright?”

I absentmindedly scratched at the table.

“I am now, I guess. I set down my machete like a fricken idiot, letting my guard down, and he jumped me. I tried grabbing it to fight him off, but he kicked it out of my grip. I thought it was the end of the line until Dean came barging in and got him off me. I was so stupid, he’s pissed.”

Sam reached across, brushing his thumb over the knuckles of my now-closed fist. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We got out okay. It was just a mistake.”

“And Dean—,” Cas began, “He is… It will be alright.”

He gave a kind smile as he said this. I tried one back at him before standing up and giving a quick goodnight. As I walked to my room, I hovered by Dean’s door before thinking better of it. I hated when he was angry with me, but figured I better not upset him more by barging in on his alone time. I hated when any of the boys acted coldly towards me, but Dean’s always cut the deepest for some reason. I wouldn’t let myself think on why that is for more than a few seconds, though. I walked to my room, changing into an oversized t-shirt and flopping onto my bed, essentially passing out.

I woke up in a cold sweat, tears wetting my face. I sat straight up, trying to catch my breath. My fingers gripped the sheets as I tried to keep my cool, but to no avail. I got out of bed, walking out of my room, and heading a few doors down. I knocked quietly before entering.

“Hello?” I spoke, voice wavering. I walked towards the sleeping figure, gently nudging his shoulder. “Sam?”

He rolled over, slowly opening his eyes. “(Y/N)? What’s going on?”

I wrung my hands.

“I— I had a nightmare. I can’t be alone right now,” I said, trying to hold back tears.

“Oh. Oh, okay, yeah, come here,” He replied, sitting up and scooting over. I sat next to him, pulling the covers over my legs as he threw an arm around me. “You alright?”

“I don’t know.” I leaned into him. “It was about the hunt. Except, it wasn’t me. I mean, I still went and found the boy, but, um, when Dean came in this time he— the kid knew somehow, and attacked. I tried helping, but I couldn’t move, and then… Then they, they got him. And it was my fault. He died.”

I noticed a few tears had escaped my eyes, and I rubbed at them quickly.

Sam hugged me into his side. “I’m sorry. That’s really tough.”

I nodded.

He continued, “But, you know, it was just a dream. We all got out, we’re all okay.”

“I know, but what if we didn’t? It would’ve been on me, it would be my fault.”

“There is always a “what if” when we do the things we do, and focusing on that is only going to cause you pain. Don’t do that to yourself,” Sam sighed, laying down and taking me with him. “Dean just needs to let this go, don’t let his attitude make you feel stupid.”

I nodded again. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“Anytime, kiddo. Now, let’s go to sleep. C’mere.”

He pulled me into his chest, letting the hand that wasn’t around my shoulder rest near my rib cage. I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew I was waking to Sam’s snoring in my ear. We’d separated during the night, but my head was still against his arm, our legs still caught up together. This put me in a predicament as I tried to move away from him without waking him. I somehow managed to wiggle out of bed, and land on my feet; thankfully Sam was a surprisingly deep sleeper. I tiptoed to the door, slowly and carefully opening it and backing out. I shut it as quietly as I could, and turned around to see Dean walking towards me, looking down at his phone, only a few feet off.

“Morning,” I greeted him.

His steps faltered slightly as he looked up. “Morning.”

His expression changed from tiredness to confusion in an instant. He furrowed his brow, looking at me, then to the door I had just stepped out from.

“I’m making pancakes. If you want some, they’ll be ready in twenty.”

I smiled, nodding a thank you before he squeezed past me towards the kitchen.

‘He’s not mad at me!’ I thought to myself.

I went into the bathroom, taking a quick shower. I wrapped a towel around myself, and headed towards my room to get dressed. We had a day in, so I decided on a fresh pair of pajama shorts and another t-shirt. The smell of pancakes drifted through the bunker, and as soon as I stepped out of my door that smell carried me all the way to the kitchen. I stopped in the entrance, watching Dean for a moment. He stood at the stovetop, watching and flipping the pancakes as necessary. I watched the way his arms and shoulders moved until his simple gray tee, and how delicately his hands held the spatula. Then he turned and noticed me.

“Hey,” he said, taking the plate-full to the counter.

He was getting a little scruffy, having not yet shaved since a couple mornings ago. He looked tired, but peaceful. He looked handsome. I chewed my bottom lip, finally stepping into the small room.

“Hey. That smells amazing.”

I walked near him as he grabbed two plates, throwing a few pancakes on each. He handed me one, and we both went to work preparing them with with butter and syrup. I was about to take mine to the table, when his hand shot in front of mine.

“I’ll take these if you want to grab the coffee pot.”

He looked down at me, the sides of his lips just barely tilting up into a smile, and I felt a familiar flutter in my heart.

“Yeah, of course,” I said, then turned quickly to grab the coffee and two mugs, trying to push down that feeling as far as it could go.

I shuffled closer to him as he sat at one side of the table. I placed the mugs in front of the plates, filling each of them and setting the pot at the end of the table. I sat across from Dean, digging in immediately.

“Okay, wow.” I shoved another forkful in my mouth. “These… These are genuinely amazing. You shook cook more often.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I got a few tricks up my sleeve. What about you, though? Anytime you bake anything I lose my mind.”

“Guess I just have that effect on people,” I shrugged laughing.

“Yeah, you’re not kidding.” He smirked and glanced up, locking eyes with me for a moment that felt like forever. I looked away first.

“Um— about… About yesterday, Dean, I—”

He cut me off, throwing a hand up. “Just— Let’s just drop it. Okay?”

I nodded, looking down. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

He took in a deep breath before things went silent for a while. We both were nearly finished when Sam came in the room, as much a morning person as ever.

“Morning, guys!” He smiled.

I couldn’t help but let out half a laugh at his cheerfulness. “You are way too excited in the mornings.”

He smiled my way.

Dean got up abruptly. “I’m gonna go work on Baby.”

As soon as he was out of the room, Sam raised an eyebrow at me. “He always goes out there when he’s upset. Did something happen? You two looked fine when I came in.”

I shook my head. “I tried talking to him about yesterday. Guess that was a mistake.”

Sam’s lips tightened. “Yikes, I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine. At least he let me eat his pancakes.” I smiled.

Sam laughed, “Yeah, guess that’s a start.”

We went about our day as usual; Sam worked out and looked up cases, Cas helped with case searches, Dean spent most of his day in the garage, and I decided on a movie marathon. Before long, it was later than I realized and I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

Sam poked his head around the door. “What’s up? You’ve been in your room all day.”

“Oh, no worries. Just a movie marathon. Harry Potter, wanna join?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him, and fell belly-down on the bed next to me. We watched about half of the 6th movie before we stopped watching altogether. We talked and laughed all night long until we were passed out together. This time, I woke up again to Sam’s gentle snoring, but we were much closer. His right arm was once again under my head, but his left was wrapped tightly around me, and his chest pressed into my back. Admittedly, it was a bit strange, but on a cold morning, not unwelcome. I gently rubbed his forearm, trying to wake him.

“Sammy, get up. You’re trapping me here, pal.”

He groaned sleepily, hugging me just a little tighter before he opened his eyes and realized what he was doing. “Oh crap, I’m sorry.”

I laughed, “Dont worry about it. You were keeping me warm.”

He hummed, “Well in that case, you wanna go back to sleep for a little bit?”

“Fine. Five more minutes and then we get up.”

I giggled as he pulled me back in, nearly squeezing the life out of me for a moment.

“You know, as weird as this is, it feels nice to have a cuddle-buddy,” Sam breathed out.

“Hey, at least it’s nothing too scandalous,” I chuckled, eyes closed.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Castiel’s voice rang through the closed door.

“What do ya need?” I answered back. Then I heard the door open, and looked up.

He started stepping in, but stopped dead in his tracks. “I, uh— Oh. Pardon me, I seem to be interrupting.”

“Cas—” I tried getting his attention but he’d already showed himself out the door. “Crap.”

Sam chuckled, I felt it in his chest. “That’s gonna be a fun one to explain.”

I sighed. “Hopefully he doesn’t go running his mouth so it’s an easy one to explain.”

I laid with him for a few minutes longer before my bladder called for release. “Sam, we gotta get up, man. I gotta pee.”

He groaned. “I don’t want to.”

“Whoa, what happened to happy-go-lucky, I-love-being-up-in-the-mornings Sam?” I half laughed.

“He’s tired,” he grunted out, rolling over.

I flipped to my back as he stole his arm from beneath my head, and sat up. I looked over to see him struggling to get up himself, but my urgency for the bathroom left no time for me to help him up. I bolted out the door to the bathroom and relieved myself, thinking of how to explain to Cas that what he saw was not at all what he thought it was. I ended up back in my room, finding Sam staring into space still sitting on the edge of my bed.

“You alright, Sammy?” I suppressed a smile.

His head shot up. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was zoning out.”

I nodded, throwing a thumb over my shoulder. “You wanna go grab breakfast?”

“That sounds great.”

We left the room together, chatting on our way to the kitchen. Then, I nearly lost balance running into Cas.

“Oh, hey! We wanted to talk to you,” Sam said, tapping Cas’s arm with the back of his hand

He put his hands up, defensively. “No worries. I understand.”

I dragged my hand on the side of my face. “No, but you don’t. I know you caught us looking a little precarious, but trust me, we just fell asleep together. We were watching Harry Potter and passed out.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, okay. I was sure you two were sleeping together.”

I laughed, “Yeah, no. Not by a long shot, man.”

“Alright, well that definitely clears things up for me. I will see you later.”

“Seeya, don’t get into any trouble.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about me,” he smiled, walking past.

Sam and I entered the kitchen soon after, finding Dean alone with a cup of coffee and a computer.

“Morning, sunshine.” Sam joked.

I walked over to him, leaning an arm on the table next to him, peering at the screen. “Found a case?”

He nodded silently, not looking up.

“Well?” Sam pressed, peeling a banana. “Care to enlighten us?”

Deans jaw ticked for a moment before he spoke gruffly, “Looks like a ghost. Strange, but similar, deaths happening at an old motel. So far three of ‘em.”

I took the seat next to him. “Where at?”

He pointed at the screen. “Plainfield, Wisconsin.”

I perked up, grabbing his arm for a moment. “Hey, that’s where Ed Gein committed all his murders!”

“Dude, yeah!” Sam joined in. “That guy was messed up.”

Dean huffed. “Well aren’t you two just perfect for each other. Be ready in half an hour.”

He got up, slamming the laptop shut and stalking out of the room.

I looked to Sam, confused. “What the hell is his problem?”

He shook his head, “No clue.”

I shook my head, slightly irritated. “Guess we gotta go get ready now.”

I walked out of the kitchen, going in the direction of my room. I stepped inside, pulling a duffel bad from my closet and throwing in at least enough clothes for a week, not knowing how long we’d be gone. After I was packed, I decided on a quick shower. I put my hair up into a topknot so I wouldn’t have to wash and dry it, and took the fastest shower I could. I finished getting ready a few minutes early, and grabbed all my things. I was going to throw it all in the car and wait for the boys, until my irritation got the best of me. I walked to Dean’s room, knocking on the door.

He answered harshly, “What.”

“It’s me, can I come in.”

“I guess.”

I flung the door open to find Dean standing there in the midst of getting dresssed. He was at his closet, so far only having his jeans and a tight-fit tee on, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I couldn’t catch my breath for a moment. How in the world could he look so good rocking the simplest of things?

He pulled a flannel of a hanger, the deep red one that I liked. “What do you need?”

“I want to know what’s wrong.”

He turned to face me, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. “Nothing. Is that all?”

I crossed my arms. “You may do a lot of lying for the job, but you’re kind of the worst at it sometimes.”

He shot me a glance, unenthused. “Nothing is wrong. Let’s move on. We got stuff to do.”

“Dean.”

“(Y/N),” he shot back, staring for a second before going about his business.

I clenched my jaw. “I’m gonna find out sooner or later.”

He huffed out, almost a laugh, as he threw things into his bag. “Yeah. Sure.”

I turned on my heel, leaving the room, everything in me fighting against my urge to slam the door behind me. He really knew how to push my buttons, more than anyone else sometimes. The boys were finally ready and came out into the garage where I was waiting. I pushed myself off the side of the impala, getting in the car. Dean flew out of the garage, heading straight for the highway. Most of the car ride was silent, only the faint sounds of Dean’s music over the speakers. Then he had to open his mouth.

“So, you two are sleeping together now, huh?”

I almost choked, head whipping to the side to look at Sam. He did the same, glancing at me, confusion set in his face.

“What? Dean, no, why—”

“You two seemed to be getting pretty cozy the past couple nights,” he answered back, staring straight at the road.

I scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“I saw you coming out of his room yesterday morning, (Y/N), don’t act dumb. And Cas told me he walked in on you all over each other this morning.”

“That was not what was happening. We saw him this morning and explained it all. We just fell asleep watching a movie together.”

“And the night before?”

Sam spoke up, “(Y/N) had a nightmare, Dean. She couldn’t be alone.”

“What, so you slept together?” His hands held tightly to the steering wheel.

“Yes, and that’s all we did. Sleep. Nothing more, we don’t feel like that about each other.”

He bitterly laughed. “Doesn’t seem like it.”

“Dean, seriously.”

“Fine. We’ll drop it.”

I huffed out a breath. “Thank you.”

The rest of the ride was quiet. We only made one or two stops for gas and bathroom breaks. It took us about 10 hours before we arrived in Plainfield and searched for a place to stay the night. We finally found a little motel just outside of town, and booked a room. Luckily, a pull-out couch was included so I wouldn’t have to give Dean more ideas about Sam and I, and I wouldn’t have to spend the night beside someone who was pissed at me for no reason. I walked in the room to find it perfectly adequate. and I threw my bag down on the floor, beginning to open up the pull-out.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked as he came inside. “I can take that, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not making you take the couch, Sam.”

“It pulls out into a bed at least. And you aren’t making me if I’m offering. Now, move your crap.”

He nodded at my duffel.

I sighed as dramatically as I could, “Fine.”

“So dramatic.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, I gotta be sometimes. Thank you, though.”

I pulled my bag away, walking to the far bed as throwing it down. I began unzipping it when I heard the thud of Dean’s duffel hitting the second bed behind me. I turned.

“What are we doing first?”

He glanced up at me. “Thought we’d check out the murder scene early tomorrow.”

“Alright. All three of us need to get dressed up?”

“Whoever wants to go.” He shrugged.

“I think I’ll hang back and do some more research on the town and possible leads, if that’s okay with you guys,” Sam said, setting his laptop on the small table in the room.

“Okay,” Dean answered, pulling out his ‘FBI’ suit to hang.

We went to bed, all exhausted from the trip. I woke up at 7 the next morning to Dean’s alarm blaring. We all ate a quick breakfast before getting ready to leave. I grabbed my suit, heading to the bathroom to change, and kicking myself for not being the one to stay at the motel. I didn’t know how I’d handle being alone with Dean, especially when he was in a mood. I changed quickly, making sure I looked professional enough to fool whoever we’d have to get past. I stepped out to see that Dean had already left the room.

I looked to Sam who had already got his computer up and running. “Where’d he go?”

“Waiting by the car outside,” he said, not looking up.

“Thanks.”

I walked across the room, stepping outside. Dean stood leaning against ththe impala, his back to me as I made my way over.

He heard my footsteps and turned. “Took you long enough.”

I stopped for a moment. Wow, he looks amazing right now.

“Gonna get in?” He asked.

“Oh. Yeah.”

I shook my head, opening the passenger door and sliding inside. He started up the car, and took off out of the parking lot.

“So,” he started, “you’re not sleeping together?”

“Dean. Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Can’t blame me for thinking so, you two spend a lot of time together.”

I looked over at him. “Yeah, that’s kind of what friends do.”

“We don’t do that.” He shot me a quick glance, raising an eyebrow.

“Give me a time and place and we will, then.”

He tried to hide the smirk that appeared on his face. “Yeah, sure.”

“What? Don’t want rumors spreading about me and you?”

“Sweetheart, you don’t want those rumors.”

“Who said that?” I furrowed my brows, the corner of my mouth twitching upwards.

He smiled at me. Butterflies, again.

We drove a few more minutes into town before we reached our destination. I peered at the building through the windshield as we drove up. It was creepy. Caution tape everywhere, the old run-down motel, the cloudy skies; it looked straight out of a horror movie. Dean parked the car, and we got out, walking to the police officer that was waiting on his team inside. We flashed him our badges and he let us past.

“I’m surprised no murders happened here before this,” Dean said quietly, leaning in.

I laughed. “Yeah, not the nicest of places for sure.”

He hummed in agreement. “Let’s see if we got any Casper activity.”

He took out his EMF detector, walking around the room, being careful not to step in any of the dried blood. He took a lap; no readings.

“Huh. Nothing here.”

I glanced around. “What the hell would’ve done all of this though?”

“Dunno. Judging by how all of the blood left their bodies and ended up friggen everywhere else, I could’ve sworn it would be one of those suckers.”

I nodded. “Wanna try to hospital?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

We spent the day gathering as many clues and evidence as we could, to no avail. By nightfall, we decided to call it a day and head back to our room. We got inside to find Sam taking a nap.

Dean whispered to me, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

I nodded. He went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I decided to get dressed in something more comfortable and landed on a pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt. Can’t get more laid back than that.

I sat on my bed for a moment before I heard Sam moving around. I looked his way as he opened his eyes.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” I said.

He smiled. “Hey. You guys find anything useful?”

“Figure it’s probably not a ghost. Other than that, nope.”

“Mm.” He sat up, stretching before he stood. He walked over to me, taking a seat by my side and swinging an arm over my shoulders. “I didn’t find anything either. Not even connections between the people who died.”

“So weird.”

He agreed, falling back on the bed and taking me down with him. “Yeah. I’m sure something will turn up, though. It has to.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“You wanna go out tonight?”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m beat. I didn’t get my nap today.” I laughed.

He snorted, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re no fun.”

Then we heard the door open, Dean stepped out.

“What about you? You wanna go out tonight?” Sam asked him.

“I’m good,” he said without so much as a glance our way.

Sam sat up. “Man, both of you? Since when am I the one to go out alone?”

I chuckled, sitting up next to him. “Since now, apparently. Go, though! Have fun enough for all of us.” I nudged his shoulder.

He shrugged getting up to get ready. Then I heard the tv switch on, and looked over to Dean. There he sat, on his bed, flipping through channels.

“What are you gonna watch?” I asked.

He stared silently at the tv and shrugged. Here we go again.

I heaved out a heavy sigh, pulling out my phone to fiddle on. Sam came out of the bathroom with a new shirt on, and what smelled like a little bit of cologne. I looked up from my device as he pulled his shoes on.

“Who are you trying to impress, sir?”

He smirked. “We’ll have to find out. I’ll see you guys later.”

He left the room, leaving me and Dean to ourselves. I looked over at him again as he settled on an old comedy. He noticed.

“What?” He asked, eyes still unmoving from the movie.

“Your attitude is what.”

“I don’t have an attitude.”

I scoffed. “Oh, sure. We were fine working the case today, and now you’re acting like I stole all of your leftovers or something.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Funny how you keep saying that, and then end up in the same crappy mood again. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?”

“I can’t.” He grew impatient.

“Yes, you can.”

He sat up, finally looking at me. “No. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I just can’t. It’s stupid, you wouldn’t understand it.”

He stared at me.

“Maybe I would if you’d just talk to me!” My voice raised slightly.

“Why do you even care?” His voice raised to match mine.

“Why do you think? I care about you, and I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

He closed his eyes. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Then what is the problem?” I leaned forward, searching his face for an answer.

He sighed, voice lowering. “Can we— maybe we can talk about it tomorrow. Just— not tonight, please.”

I shrunk back. “Fine. Promise me.”

He tilted his head with a blank stare.

“I’m serious, Dean. Promise me.”

He let out a heavy breath. “Okay. I promise. You’re a pain, you know that?”

I shrugged. “You’ll get over it.”

He stared for a moment, my heart fluttering until he looked away again. He laid down, turning off the tv. I laid back too, turning off the lights.

“Goodnight,” he said, turning over.

“Goodnight.”

I woke up to sunlight hitting my face through the window. I glanced towards the couch; no Sam. Then my eyes went to Dean. He was still sleeping. I watched him for a moment; he looked so at peace. The lines in his face were smoothed out, no worries were apparent on him. His eyelids began to move, but I couldn’t pull my gaze from his face. He looked handsome in the early morning hours, his eyelashes delicately fluttering until his eyes were opened. He noticed me and smiled.

“Way to be creepy, watching me sleep.”

His voice was deep and soft and full of sleep.

I smiled back, “You looked so peaceful, I couldn’t help it.”

“I bet you say that to all the guys.”

I laughed. “Nah, only the special ones.”

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “I don’t want to beat up monsters today.”

“If we can’t find out what’s killing people, you might not have to.”

“That isn’t a good option either.”

“I know.” I yawned, stretching out. “Guess Sammy found a girl.”

Dean looked over his shoulder at the empty space. “Oh.”

“You still believe we’re together now?” I raised my eyebrows.

He looked back towards me. “I might, might, have been wrong there.”

“Told ya.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “We better get the day going.”

I agreed. We fully woke up and grabbed some breakfast from a cafe down the street. We went back to the motel to find Sam in the shower, and our day went on as normal from that point on, until we found the clues we needed to lead us to the killer.

“A witch? Oh, come on, I’m so sick of them,” I complained.

Sam shrugged. “Hey, we found hex bags in each of the rooms. Most likely the owner of the motel, or someone who works there.”

“Maybe a maid? It’s always the butler, so maybe it’s always the maid too,” Dean suggested with a sly smirk.

“That, as lame as it is, actually could be a really great place to start,” I responded. “Let’s pack up and find out who’s been cleaning the place up.”

We went and questioned the owner to find out which employees had been working when the murders took place, and landed on only one housekeeper: a man named Ken. We got his address and decided to do a little questioning. We arrived to his house, and Sam knocked loudly.

The door creaked open. “Hello?”

“Hello, we’re with the FBI, we have some questions to ask you,” Sam responded, flashing his badge.

The man behind the door, opened it a little wider. He grinned. “Yeah, I’m sure you are.”

He looked to me.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

Dean stepped halfway in front of me before I could say anything. “You might want to watch yourself, you’re suspect for the murders that took place the night you were working at the motel.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Oh? Why don’t you come inside, then.”

He stepped just inside and he shut the door behind us.

“Anyways,” he began, “I’ve always wanted to meet the Winchester’s.”

Before we knew what was happening, our bodies flew up against the wall and landed on the ground harshly. We all attempted to scramble up, but as I attempted to stand, I felt a hand wrap around my neck. Ken pulled me backwards into him.

“Let her go,” Dean boomed.

Ken chuckled. “See, that’s where you’re making your mistake. Your little protective act only lets me know that your little girlfriend, here, is valuable to you. So, you might not like it if I just—”

He dropped me, and I felt my legs give out. It felt like all the air had been pulled from my lungs— No, it felt like I didn’t have lungs. I couldn’t breathe.

“You son of a—”

Thud!

Dean was slammed against the wall again. I watched from the ground where I lay as Sam attempted to go at him, but then it all went black.

I woke with a gasp, my body flying upwards in shock. I breathed heavily, finally catching my breath for the first time in what felt like eternity.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you’re okay.”

I heard a voice, foggy. I turned my head quickly, finding Dean right next to me. Wait, no, he was holding me. We were someplace else, maybe in the house still? I heard distant voices. I felt tired.

“I… think I… need a nap,” I said, barely hearing myself speak.

“Whoa, no, no, don’t fall asleep, okay? Just— Here, just look at me. Look here, stay awake,” he spoke to me as I tried to listen.

My eyes still felt heavy.

“But— I’m tired. Just a… Just a nap.”

“No, (Y/N), don’t fall asleep yet, okay? We gotta make sure you’re alright.”

“What… Where are we?”

“In the house of a very bad witch.” I heard a woman’s voice. I looked up to see red hair. “I mean, come on now, I was able to fix you right up quite easily.”

“Yeah, thank you, by the way,” Sam said to Rowena, a tight smile accompanied his words. My vision began clearing.

“What are you doing here? What happened?” I cleared my throat, trying to sit up to find Dean’s chest hard against my back. I noticed his arms around me, too. I ran my fingers over one of his forearms, happy to be there. Then I realized there were two other staring at me, trying to communicate. I stopped and tried to listen.

“—and then, well, you’re lucky Sam had enough sense to call me when he realized what you’d be dealing with, otherwise, my dear, you’d be dead. Hmm.”

“Oh. How’d we get away, though?”

“It was really all me, of course.” She smiled, pleased with herself. “You’d have really been in trouble otherwise, too, with Dean letting his jealously get the best of him and punching someone in the face.”

“Yeah, well, the douche bag deserved it.” I felt him speak, the bass in his voice vibrating in his chest. “He was getting too handsy with her.”

“I would have gotten him away quicker if you hadn’t made him even more angry, Mr. Winchester,” Rowena sassed. “Anyways, I’ve got things to do more important than speaking with you two giants and the wee fuzzy-brained girl. Toodleloo.”

She picked up her dress and walked out of the house. I liked her.

“I like her,” I giggled.

I started feeling funny. Almost drunk, maybe more giddy.

“Can’t say I feel exactly the same,” Dean said.

“Regardless, she did save us there,” Sam responded.

I laughed, “Yeah, she’s fun.”

“I would’ve gotten him,” Dean continued his conversation with Sam.

“Dean, we all would’ve been in trouble if she wasn’t here. Even you’ve gotta admit to that.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He reached into his pocket for the keys, throwing them at Sam. “Here, go start the car.”

“Alright, hurry it up,” Sam said as he left.

I leaned my head up to look at Dean. “So, you were jealous, huh?”

“I am not. I just didn’t want his grimy hands on you, now come on, let’s get you back to the hotel.”

I felt movement as he began to move from behind me. I tried to stand up, but before I could, I felt his arms swing underneath me. He picked me up, and carried me out the door. I held onto his neck, enjoyed time in close proximity to him and wishing I could just tell him how I felt about him. If I could even figure it out for myself. He sat me in the backseat, helping me buckle in before we took off. Soon enough, we were back at the motel and Sam decided to go on a dinner-run. Dean and I entered the room alone, he helped me to walk until I could sit down.

“Here, just sit here,” he said, helping me to rest on the edge of his bed. He moved around me, squatting down between my legs and looking up at me. “Are you okay?”

I tilted my head, looking at him looking at me. “Yeah.”

He let out half a laugh. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I shrugged, a contented smile on my face. “You’re cute.”

“(Y/N)—”

“I figured out why you’ve been so grumpy,” I cut him off, unable to stop from speaking.

He put his hands on the bed on either side of my legs. “Why’s that?”

“I think you didn’t like me and Sam.”

“I already told you I wasn’t mad at—”

“No, no, no. You didn’t like us together. You were being jealous. Like with the weird witch man. Rowena said so, and she’s smart.” I giggled.

He raised an eyebrow, gulping. “Uh, let me get you some water. Maybe that’ll help.”

“I’m right.”

“Now’s not the time to talk about this stuff, (Y/N), let’s just—”

“Uh uh. You said we’d talk about it today.”

“We can, later.”

He tried getting up, but I put my hands on his shoulders.

“But I like you, I wanna talk now.”

“This is just the spell wearing off, if you just—”

I sighed harshly. “No it’s not, stop it. I like you a lot. You’re so cute and you give me butterflies and make me nervous and make me smile a lot and all I can think about is you all the time.”

“(Y/N)…” he started, eyebrows knit together.

“I’m not saying it because of the spell, okay?” I started rambling. “I mean, I always feel that way, but I didn’t want to say anything. You know, I was kind of scared. Now, it kinda seems like maybe you feel the same way, and I just want to know, otherwise this is gonna be really awkward when I’m not feeling all weird and giddy and I jus—”

Before I knew what was happening I felt his lips on mine. I felt shocked. I took a moment to gather my wits, but I seemed to take a moment too long. He pulled away.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to force that on you, I thought you wanted…” He trailed off, a hand going to rub at his face. I reached out, pulling it away from his face. He looked up at me, apprehensive.

“Trust me, I wanted it,” I confirmed before leaning back in as quickly as I could.

His hands moved up to settle at my waist as he smiled into the kiss. I held his jaw in my hands, pulling him in as closely as I could. I never wanted that kiss to end, but it had to soon, as we needed air. Our foreheads rested against each other.

“I have wanted to do that for so long,” I whispered.

He laughed. “I’m just happy to know that Sam wasn’t the one doing it. Because you were so right, I was definitely jealous.”

“Knew it.” I giggled.

He hummed, pulling away from me. We looked at one another for a minute, taking it all in. I let my hand reach back up to his face, my thumb brushing against his cheek, looking at all the freckles that dusted his face.

I sighed, happy. “You wanna go again?”

He chuckled, a smile on his face. “Oh, for sure.”

I slapped the bed next to me, and he scrambled up, facing me. His arms immediately snaked around my middle, pulling me in tight. I held on to his neck, gazing up at him.

“You good?” He asked, a smile stuck on his face.

“More than.” I nodded, grinning.

He pressed his lips to mine, wasting no time. We stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying our time together and hoping it would never end. Until the door swung open.

“Whoa, walked in at the wrong time,” Sam exclaimed, closing the door as quickly as he shut it.

Dean and I looked at each other. He shrugged, “Whoops.”

I laughed, and he pulled me back in.

(EDIT: starting taglists now! let me know if you want to be on any!)

FULL MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

[bimrsadler]

hello, i was wondering if you were down and vibing to do some tired and sleepy arthur sneaking into f!readers bed late late at night after being away from camp for a long time? ty!

Goodnight and Goodmorning

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x female reader

Word count: 1,000

Warnings/tags: fluff, high honor Arthur, mutual pining, first kiss

Notes: I absolutely vibe with it! Since you didn’t specify I went ahead and just made it good ol’ fluff, if you had more in mind like smut (or if anyone wants a smutty part 2) feel free to let me know!

ETA: part 2 is here

Sleep didn’t come easy for you when Arthur was gone, not for lack of trying. Tossing and turning, the emptiness beside you and the constant worry of if he was safe kept rest at bay. You wondered if he was somewhere in the The Heartlands under the stars, worrying the same about you.

There was a mutual desire that hadn’t been spoken aloud. Arthur was surprisingly shy for a man of action, you found, and you didn’t want to push him because of this. It happened naturally in moments of solitude away from the others, around the fire when neither of you could sleep, on the outskirts of camp when you found excuses to run into each other. It became more with your head on his shoulder as you drifted off against a tree, his hands on yours as he taught you to shoot even though you already knew how.

Eventually you found your way to his bed on a cold night. Diverging to head to your own tents your gazes lingered and walking slowed; finally hinting to Arthur that there was no harm in wanting company. It was endearing to watch as he stammered a nervous, “I ’spose,” placing a gentle hand on the small of your back.

For a man who kept company at arms length most of the time, he held you close that night. Reassurance was needed before he felt comfortable of course, wanting to hear that you were okay with it multiple times over.

“Promise I won’t do anything untoward.” He must have said that and other iterations of it at least five times before you placed his arm around your waist yourself and confided how much you trusted him.

And it was true. Though Arthur was intimidating, angry and tough as nails; he always made you feel safe. You’d been around “gentlemen” who were perfect on paper but predators behind closed doors.

You’d been in the company of many lecherous and pushy men — some even in the gang, but Arthur? He would put them in their place and apologize to you with their blood on his knuckles.

You always missed his presence in camp but it was a far worse struggle now that you shared a connection.

Drifting in and out the time of night was indiscernible each time you briefly woke, the sound of chatter and guitar steadily replaced by crickets and the dying fire.

As the night wore on the familiar feeling of Arthur’s rugged hands on your bare shoulder roused a fluttering jolt in your stomach. It took his shifting weight behind you and warm chest against your back to convince you you weren’t dreaming.

Peering back the faint moonlight breaking through the canvas revealed Arthur gazing down at you with a grin. “M’sorry, didn’t mean to wake ya.”

“Was worried you weren’t coming back, big guy,” you murmured only half-joking, voice heavy with sleep.

“I’ll always come back darlin’, just hopefully a little sooner nex’time.” He pulled flush to him, “now try’n get some more sleep.”

“Gonna hold you to that,” you stretched underneath his bulky arms with a yawn.

The unexpected feeling of Arthur’s lips pressed gently to your temple made a warmth blossom in your chest, spreading to the rest of your pining body.

Slowly rolling over to be face to face you saw an anxious expression highlighted by bruises and cuts along Arthur’s cheekbones. “I missed ya sweetheart,” he admitted softly while rubbing his thumb delicately along your shoulder.

You inquired worryingly with a gesture towards his face, “what happened?”

“Eh, weren’t nothin’.” He shrugged, brushing it off as usual.

“Sure looks like something.” Propping yourself up on your elbows you reciprocated the comfort and allowed your lips to meet Arthur’s skin for the first time. Lightly wetting them you pressed gentle kisses to each bruise, his breath hitching before he let it out in one long, relieved sigh.

He looked at you with a reverence that was almost overwhelming, how a man as rough and wild as him could radiate such softness for you.

“Guess I needed that, thank you.”

“Maybe you need a proper one Mr. Morgan?”

“Huh?” Arthur’s eyes darted, not quite catching on as you smirked with anticipation. “A proper wh—oh!”

Blushing at the realization that you meant a proper kiss, he swallowed hard. “Well uh, if that’s somethin’ you wanna give me…I’d be a damned fool to say no.”

Brushing a lock of hair off his brow, you leaned in and parted you lips for his. Arthur met you the rest of the way and locked them tenderly, staying still together to savor the moment.

He moved back slightly to peer down at you for any sign of hesitation — finding none of course. Cupping the side of your head with his sizable hand he pulled you close for long, languid kisses, accentuated by his tongue gingerly meeting yours.

The moment was soft and sweet and everything you never thought you’d have with Arthur Morgan. The light whimpers with smiles in between, the ever so subtle urging of your hips wanting more but unsure of how far to take it. It could have easily been a dream you’d had in days past.

As Arthur slowed he pressed his forehead to yours with eyes closed, peaceful and unworried. “This is the only place I wanna be right now…”

Gently adjusting you to lay on your back, Arthur tucked the blankets around you before resting his head on your chest and draping his arm across your midsection.

“Let’s sleep darlin’, we’ll take our time in the mornin’ too…”

It was a gift to know Arthur was this comfortable with you. He wanted to talk to people, to let his guard down and be vulnerable. You were sure he wouldn’t admit it and hadn’t noticed that you had noticed, but it was clear as day in his quieter moments.

Whatever happened on whatever mission Dutch had sent him on, he was battered and tired. If Arthur made you feel safe then you could be his safe haven too.

Running your nails along the expanse of his back and broad shoulders, you watched his head rise and fall with your breaths as he drifted off. The warmth of his skin on yours meant you were sure to follow suit, relieved to have him back and looking forward to what the morning might bring.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #40

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Jungkook wakes up to an empty bed. Yesterday's events hunted him in his dreams as he kept dreaming about it, causing him to wake up with a sour mood. He takes his time to get ready for the day, not really sure how everyone is feeling after yesterday's drama. To be honest, that's not what is truly bugging him. It's you.

He doesn't see you downstairs when he joins the others for breakfast. He makes sure to look around the table but he doesn't see you anywhere. Maybe you're in the kitchen or will come downstairs in a bit. But by the time Jungkook finishes the last bite of his sandwich, you haven't come and that's when he realizes you are not coming any time soon.

Everyone seems to be fine, there's no awkwardness lingering in the air as everyone chats as nothing happened. The only person he finds quiet is Kiko who is sitting next to him, barely eating her bowl of fruit as she keeps nudging it with a fork. They haven't talked since yesterday and since he woke up to an already empty bed, they haven't had the chance to.

But what's there to talk about? Jungkook said everything he wanted and can see yesterday's events aren't indifferent to her as well. He believes her when she said it was a mistake and it probably slipped, but he can't help but feel pissed at that. How can he not when all he can think about is your tears running down your cheeks? He has never seen you in such a state when you were hurt, angry and ready to physically attack his girlfriend.

It bothers him that Kiko didn't even consider that your asshole boyfriend doesn't know about the whole fake dating thing. Oh fuck, and what he said to you yesterday... he thought he'd punch him even more. How dare he assume you slept with Jimin and Taehyung too? He gets it, you and him are close and any boyfriend wouldn't be pleased knowing his girlfriend and her best friend slept together. A lot of times, actually. It's a lot to take and swallow, he gets that.

Your friendship is often misunderstood by others, it's what you and him got used to after such a long time of being so close and friends. But him assuming such a thing and most importantly talking to you like that, is completely out of place and it makes his blood boil. Every time he thinks about it, he regrets not punching him until his nose would break. He disrespected you. In front of everyone which made you embarrassed for sure and even more hurt. But Jungkook is glad he has done it in front of everyone.

If Haneul talked to you in private, who knows if you'd ever tell him he treated you like this. This way Jungkook got to punch him and show him you're not someone to get messed with.

As Jungkook sips on his coffee and lets his eyes travel around the room, always looking around in case he sees you. As he stays leaning against the wall, he makes it quite obvious that he's clearly searching for you and it's something Jimin notices as soon as he comes out of the dining room with Taehyung by his side.

"She's not coming," Jimin says, answering Jungkook's silent question that has never been spoken but it's very clear in his eyes and to his friends.

Jungkook looks at Jimin, eyes glinting with sadness as Jimin has a very similar look on his face meanwhile Taehyung's lips are crooked in displeased pout.

"Why?" Is simple and Jungkook's question, even though he probably knows why. But he still hoped he'd get to see you today and of course, he's worried about you.

"I think we all know why," Jimin answers softly, brows curving in sadness. "We wanted her to at least come downstairs but she refused. She wants to be left alone."

"I feel so sorry for her," Taehyung admits, pouting. "Even today is supposed to be fun for her. Imagine celebrating New Year's Eve with a heartbreak."

Taehyung is definitely not making it better, making Jungkook feel even worse because he can barely imagine what you're going through. Even though the idiot isn't worth it and you barely know him for a month. But he's in no way questioning you being sad, it's understandable you're sad and hurt.

Jungkook frowns, glancing at his cup of coffee in a thought. "I should check on her."

"Yeah, about that..." Jimin scratches his neck sheepishly. "She said she wants to be left alone."

"Yeah, you said that," Jungkook frowns again, "But I want to check on her. I'll be beside her for a whole day if it helps."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Jungkook. I know you guys are best friends but she said she doesn't want anyone to bother her."

He still keeps frowning, determined to check on you no matter what Jimin is saying. He's not just anyone, is he? 

"But I'm not just--"

"Jesus, Kook. She specifically told us to tell you she wants to be alone." Taehyung lets out, raising his voice a little.

Jungkook's mouth hangs open in disbelief as Jimin sighs and glares at Taehyung who just shrugs. "What? You're awful at being straightforward." Taehyung mumbles, glancing pitifully at Jungkook.

"She said that?" Jungkook whispers, placing his cup of coffee on a nearby console table beside him. "Why?"

He really tries to sound unbothered, but it's clear how quickly saddened he grows at what Taehyung just revealed.

"Listen, I don't think it's something personal. She told Taehyung to fuck off once he tried to get her out of bed and then almost suffocated her by cuddling her."

Jungkook would've laughed at that, because it definitely sounds like you being moody, but he can't because all he thinks about is you saying you want to be left alone while mentioning Jungkook. Somehow, he'd have thought it doesn't apply to him. According to Taehyung, it definitely applies to him the most. As if you knew you're going to be on his mind and him wanting to check on you.

"Yeah, she gets very vocal when she's annoyed," Taehyung tries to lighten up the mood with a light chuckle. "Look, she's gonna be fine. She knows we're here for her whenever she needs us. But she needs space right now. We've been with her the whole night and would stay there if she didn't kick us, literally."

Jimin nods, looking at Taehyung. "This is so far the smartest thing you've said on this trip."

"Yo, fuck you." Taehyung shoots right back, frowning at Jimin.

"Fuck you, you're the one spitting bullshit all the time." Jimin says back, earning a dramatic gasp from Taehyung but before they can bicker, Jungkook opens his mouth ignoring the two.

"Alright," Jungkook sighs, straightening himself. "If she doesn't want to see me, I'm not gonna force myself where I'm not welcomed."

He grabs the cup of coffee, spilling the remaining liquid in the sink as soon as he comes to the kitchen. He spends a few minutes there, cleaning the cup before he joins the others in the living room where Hoseok calls for him to join them in a video game. So he does, maybe this way he'll keep being distracted from disobeying your wishes and from pounding on your door to check on you.

No messages. No calls.

It's not like you expected him to reach out to you first, especially not after the way he was acting yesterday and earned a painful punch from Jungkook. Still, you at least had a hope he'd let you know if he made it safely to Seoul since he said he's not breaking up with you.

Do you even want to be with him? The thing he said yesterday was the last drop that you barely were able to hold and you felt like you're being the one punched in the face. You had so much hope in your relationship and now you're completely clueless what will happen from now on. If only he kept his mouth shut, maybe you'll feel even more guilty and wouldn't feel so much anger at his disrespect aimed towards you. Not only did he make you embarrassed, he verbally slapped you in your face when he assumed you slept with Jimin and Taehyung. That was so low and immature of him. Maybe it hurts this much because you've never thought he'd be capable of saying such a thing.

So as the sun keeps peeking through the window, you stay in bed while trying to keep yourself busy while watching random YouTube videos on your phone. The last thing you think about is getting out of this room. Not yet. You still have a couple of hours before you've to get ready. Ready to dress up for New Year's Eve, one of the main reasons why you came here. But also to get ready to face everyone because you just know they'll stare pitifully at you.

You don't want to give them reason to, though. You don't need their pity. Someone else will need it.

It's twenty-eight minutes to three when your phone chimes with a new message and your breath gets stuck in your throat, wondering who's texting you. Jimin and Taehyung must've told him you want to be alone, considering he hasn't been knocking on your door today. But apparently he can't hold himself back any longer.

You see the message on your locked screen, staring right back at you.

Kook: tell me if you're okay

Your heart cracks at his thoughtfulness, wondering if he's going to hate you for no longer wanting to play decently with his girlfriend. But this is not about him, not even when you can hurt him in the process. This is between you and her. However, you know Jungkook and you know he'll take it personally.

You don't reply to him, letting your thoughts distract you until your phone chimes in with another message.

Kook: at least text me back or I'm coming upstairs

Kook: I've no problem with kicking the door down 

Of course he has no problem with that. And for the first time today, you find yourself breathing out a very light chuckle.

"I'm not sure if jin would appreciate that" You text him back, not having to wait long for a reply.

Kook: good thing I don't care what Jin thinks 

Kook: I care about you right now 

Your eyes water, not really sure if it's because you're emotional about his straightforward words or the fact you're still pretty much sensitive. You cuddle up to your duvet, wiping your tears.

"I'm okay just want some time alone"

He doesn't text back, giving you the space you're asking for.

Good. You still have a few hours to brace yourself, you think as you stare in the distance at the closet.

Jungkook stares at his reflection in the mirror, adjusting his black suit which is decorated with tiny silver stripes on it. It's not too eye-catching but not boring. His other option is just to wear a turtleneck minus the suit, but he figured he'll get hot either way considering he's about to drink and stay indoors. So he chose a casual black button-up, leaving a few buttons unbuttoned just for the right measure. He hasn't done anything special to his hair, just left it parted in the middle as the ends stay somehow curled from the shower he took after his work-out and before he was about to get ready for tonight.

The room he shares with his girlfriend is quiet other than the R&B music playing quietly from the speaker he brought with himself. He thought it's a nice way to fill the awkward silence in the room while they both get ready for tonight.

Kiko hasn't been talking to him that much, he probably thinks it has something to do with him snapping at her yesterday night when he joined her to the bed. He does feel slightly guilty from doing it, but doesn't put too much effort in saying anything. He's not sure what to say.

"Jungkook?"

His arms fall down off his suit, eyes searching for Kiko in the reflection as he finds her already looking at him. Her make-up is done, it's light as usual but her features are more defined and eyes bigger thanks to the eyeliner decorating her eyelids. She looks beautiful and even though her features remain soft, she looks a little tense while looking at him.

She's wearing a light blue sleeveless dress, turtleneck dress to be exact which adds more modesty to her cleavage. The skirt of the dress is flared and flowy, creating a beautiful but cute look at the same time. It's not too revealing, but mesmerizing enough to make you look at it and compliment it and her. Just by the one look Jungkook can tell this is her style, but still is quite surprised to see how beautiful she looks in it. Maybe surprised is not the right word for it, he definitely knows she's beautiful, with or without her make-up and dress.

He turns around, eyes cutely looking at her in question as she turns around to him with exposed back. "Can you please help with the zip?" she asks, gently pulling her curled hair over her shoulder as he nods, clearing his throat when he realizes she can't see him now.

"Yeah," he lets out lightly, taking a few steps towards her until he reaches for the zip. In one swift movement, he zips up her dress and she turns around, thanking him gracefully.

Her brown eyes search his face for a moment, hand hesitantly reaching for his button-up as she straightens up the little crease.

"You look beautiful." he mumbles softly, speaking out his thoughts as he watches her with softness in his eyes.

"Thank you," she smiles, "You look great too."

He chuckles, shaking his head at her compliment, somehow growing sheepish when she compliments him. She lets her hand stay on his chest for a while, before she drops it and stares at her feet.

"I know I said it already... but I'm sorry. I really am. I wish I could do something to fix this." she says, forcing herself to stare him in the eyes when she says it.

Sadness and honesty. Those two emotions are very easy to detect for Jungkook. He knows it was just a matter of time before she brings this topic up again. And he doesn't mind it because he definitely doesn't want to spend this trip, or ever, not voicing out the elephant in the room. They should talk about it, he knows. But just knowing you're on the other side of this hallway, god knows doing what because you haven't even stepped out of that fucking room today, it makes him crazy.

He's worried and you clearly don't want anyone there. He's still hesitating if he should listen to you and stay away, or just ignore you and knock on those doors until you open. Or knock them down. If it means he's selfish, then so be it. If he sees you're okay with his own eyes, he doesn't care what that makes him.

Unfortunately, Kiko is not the only person who wishes there could be a way to fix this. Because there isn't. Haneul is gone, most likely back in Seoul and getting drunk with his young and immature friends, crying that he got his heart broken and god knows what he's saying about you behind your back.

It makes Jungkook clench his jaw, wanting nothing else than to shake these thoughts away because he's just making himself even more angry. He still tries not to think about Haneul's awful words of accusation. You don't deserve that. You're not a bad person.

"You can't," Jungkook simply says, not wanting to think about his thoughts all over again. "But I appreciate that you're acknowledging your mistake." he tells her honestly, seeing her nod as she swallows dryly.

"I knew I made a mistake the moment I said it and looked at his face. I'm so sorry, I knew I shouldn't have assumed. And Y/N deserves my apology, I'd do anything to let her know how sorry I am."

She sounds desperate, sad and broken, truly disappointed with herself and it breaks Jungkook even more. He has realized a long time ago it's her fault, she shouldn't have said it. Period. But seeing you and her being so sad just settles an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He doesn't like any of you being sad and this whole situation is bizarre enough as it is.

"Yeah, just don't talk to her if she decides to join us," Jungkook mutters, tongue pressing against his front teeth. "I know you want to apologize to her, I just think it's better to leave her alone for now."

"Thank you," she speaks up, causing Jungkook to look down at her with furrowed brows in confusion. "For you know... being there for her. If you weren't there, she'd probably... I got scared there for a second, I really thought she's about to attack me."

"Because she was," Jungkook deadpans, "I haven't seen her so angry before, but she's not a violent person,"

He knows it must sound stupid, considering you were literally fuming and about to fight his girlfriend. And you definitely have more strength in you than he expected. You were trashing in his arms so much, thankfully he just had to hold you tighter to keep you from attacking Kiko. But he hasn't done it just because of her. But he knows you'd regret it later. Like he said, you're not a violent person but then, you never really had any reason to be. He knows even if you say something that seems cold and heartless, you always mean well and most of the time you regret it after some time.

"She's hurt. You had no right to assume anything about their relationship, and you definitely had no right to say anything that involved our deal. I told you because I could trust you. It was Y/N's decision to make if she wanted to tell him or not. She respected me and didn't tell you, she even supported it when I asked her if I should tell you,"

Kiko seems a little surprised, nodding nevertheless to his words in agreement.

"I know you know that, I know you regret it. But it doesn't make it okay,"

She nods, agreeing with him in a heartbeat.

"I'm just like this because... things were getting so good and yesterday ruined everything. But most importantly, Y/N is hurting right now and there's nothing we can do to help. She probably hates your guts right now." he points out.

"I hate myself too." Kiko says, shrugging as she tries to chuckle to easen the mood but he notices the way her lips curl into a saddened smile.

"Hey," Jungkook says softly, placing his hands on her shoulders as he makes her look at him. "I don't want to hear this. You don't have to hate yourself. You made a mistake, yes. And things are too fresh to let everything be okay. But I really appreciate you acknowledging you made a mistake. And I think Y/N would appreciate it too if she wasn't so hurt and angry. You've to understand there are a lot of emotions she's dealing with right now."

"We all know why she truly hates me, Kookie," Kiko offers softly, "And what happened yesterday just added fuel into the fire."

"But she was okay until yesterday happened," Jungkook protests. He obviously knows you haven't been fond of Kiko ever since the news of her cheating came out, actually ever since she broke up with him for no reason. But after the two of you talked, he could see you trying and it made him feel so much at ease.

But yesterday changed everything and now it's even worse, because it directly involves you right now.

"What's done is done. Don't beat yourself for it too much. You made a mistake, but you don't have to hate yourself now, Kik." he tells her, thumb rubbing her cheek as she smiles gratefully at him but he can see there's a lot of hesitance in her eyes.

A knock resounds in their room, both of them turning to the door before Jungkook calls out 'Yeah?' to whoever is there.

"Party is starting, come downstairs when you're ready." Hoseok calls out, both of them yelling 'Alright' at the same time before he hears him doing the same to the next door, hearing Taehyung yelling something in excitement.

"Let's go, I could use a drink." Jungkook mumbles, straightening his suit for the last time and turning off the music before he outstretches his hand to Kiko.

She smiles, taking his hand gracefully as they both make it out of their room.

It's some time past seven. Almost five hours till midnight. And still no sight of you joining the others downstairs. The various styles of songs, thanks to the built-in speakers in the entire cabin, play downstairs and set the party to a comfortable and fun environment. However, it doesn't help too much for Jungkook considering he's been clutching his can of beer for the past hour, eyeing the stairs just in case you were about to come out. Not even talking to Jimin and Taehyung, or more like just standing beside them while listening to them talking, hasn't been that much of a distraction.

They're both on the edge but unlike Jungkook, they actually try to hide their worries and distract themselves with each other's presence, and alcohol. Which to Jungkook, doesn't help too much and if he wasn't already having his third can of beer, he'd most likely reach for hard liquor. Vodka, whiskey... anything stronger than a beer.

But of course, he doesn't want to be overly dramatic. If you don't want to come to the party and feel like celebrating, he totally understands that. But he doesn't want you to be alone, especially when the cabin is full of people and well, he's here. How can he celebrate and have fun when you're upstairs obviously not feeling well? Right, five more minutes and he's going upstairs. This is unacceptable--

"Kook, don't worry," Jimin speaks up, cutting off Jungkook's thoughts of worries. "She said she'll come."

Yeah, that's right. Apparently, you spoke to Jimin and said you'll come downstairs. But the party has been going on for two hours and there's no sight of you.

All Jungkook can muster is a mere nod, not even denying that yes, all he can think about is whether you'll make it downstairs or not. He just wants to know.

"We all want her to join," Taehyung says, offering Jungkook a slight smile looking at him with sincere eyes. "But staring at those stairs every few seconds won't help."

"Taehyungie," Jimin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose at his friend's bluntness.

"What? I'm just sayin'." he shrugs.

"You're always just sayin'." Jimin retorts, snorting underneath his breath, causing Taehyung's brows to frown as he opens his mouth to say something back, but before he can do that Jungkook is mindlessly throwing another glance at the stairs.

"It's okay if she doesn't want to come downstairs. I'm just worried how she is and if she's about to spend tonight upstairs all alone, I think we should be there for her." Jungkook speaks up, ignoring the little quarrel the two of them have.

"We are all worried, Kook," Jimin offers softly, "Just give her time."

Jungkook sighs. Time. That's all he's been hearing the whole day. Apparently, you need a lot of time. And that's okay. He just wants to see you because somehow, he doesn't believe no one and anything. Not until he sees you with his own eyes.

However, he's completely oblivious to your inner battle and you standing upstairs, just right in front of your already closed room. All glammed up with a fire of irritation and anger inside you. You've spent an hour to make yourself look amazing, hide your puffy eyes and distress with make-up. Even though it helped your puffy eyes that are no longer puffy, you could still see your reflection that lacked any emotion. You looked empty.

And maybe you still do.

But you're not going to be a crybaby about this. You're going to show you're not someone that gets to mess around with. It's not like you're plotting some kind of revenge, no. You're just not going to hold yourself back.

With a last sight in the empty hallway, you start walking towards the loud upbeat music. And for the first time today, you actually chuckle even though it's a bitter one. Someone up there is certainly mocking you as you listen to the lyrics of the song that gets more clear with each step you take.

"I ain't lookin' for enemies but I ain't playin' nice" is what the singer sings. Relatable, you think as a sly grin makes its way on your lips and your steps grow more confident with every step and second.

Downstairs, Jungkook allows himself to relax slightly. Not that the conversation with the guys helped too much, but deep down he knows they're right. He's being just overly worried like always. He joins the conversation, uttering a few words every now and then. This lasts a couple of minutes, not that he's counting but it definitely felt like a long time, until he mindlessly goes for a chug from his beer, eyes moving automatically towards the stairs even though he doesn't put that much thought to it. At least this time, it's not completely conscious and planned.

And the exact moment he sees you, not believing his eyes because you stand there walking down the stairs. The lyrics "what the fuck" sums up his thoughts perfectly and he chokes up on the beer, the bubbles scratching the back of his throat uncomfortably as his widened eyes stay at you.

He's not the only one because Taehyung and Jimin are already looking at you too, the view of you is right in front of them considering they're standing nearby the staircase. Jungkook doesn't pry his eyes off you, too shocked to see you and especially like this, but if he could he'd be able to see his friends' jaws on the floor as Jimin whistles.

You make it downstairs, glancing at your three friends as they look as if you've grown two heads. Jungkook goes to wipe his chin with the back of his hand, while Taehyung mutters something underneath his breath that you don't catch but makes him clear his throat while Jimin eyes you up and down shamelessly.

"You made it!"

"What the fuck."

Jimin and Jungkook speak at the same time, and even though Jimin's words were more exclamations of happiness, Jungkook's words were uttered confusingly. The four of you stay silent, your eyes narrowing at Jungkook as he stares right back at you with an unreadable gaze. Taehyung pokes him with his elbow, clearing his throat again as he smiles at you with a boxy smile.

"He meant that you look absolutely amazing." Taehyung tries to cover for Jungkook and you go along with him, giving the two of them a stiff nod.

You definitely look absolutely amazing.

There's no point of denying that. The three men know it, you literally made them stop talking and just stare at you the moment they've noticed you.

The nocturnal slip dress, satin and very thin dress to be exact, is tight and loose in all the right places. It's hard to describe but it definitely suits your body and shows your curves just right. It's sexy, mature but the neckline is not too deep, so it doesn't show the top of your breasts. But the dress definitely wraps around them perfectly, making you even sexier. The pink color, champagne pink compliments your skin tone and you look like a freaking goddess herself with big wavy hair. The dress is short, showing off your legs as well and the goddamn heels you're wearing makes them look even longer.

There is also a thin diamond choker wrapped around your neck, bringing more attention to that area and especially your exposed collarbones.

It's been a while since any of them have seen you wearing something like this. But to be fair, they've never seen you wearing these kinds of dresses. It's definitely different from your usual jeans, sweatpants and leggings kind of outfits.

"You do look amazing." Jungkook decides to speak, offering you a gentle glance but all he's met is you glancing at him unbothered, saying a simple and kind of dry 'thanks'.

He's not sure how to react or what to think about your odd reaction, even though you just thanked him back. Jungkook has always been the first one to detect when there's something weird going on with you and he's definitely more observant now. He knows you've been through a lot, basically locked yourself in a room alone not wanting to speak to neither of them that much. He doesn't know what to think right now, but he's cautious and Jimin and Taehyung seem to be the same.

Taehyung widens his eyes and raises his brows, deciding gulping down his beer is the best option for him. Jimin smiles at you, the smile looking careful and nervous but still honest.

"I'm glad you came, we've been waiting for you." he says, chuckling a little when you seem to lack any kind of reaction as you just stare at him.

"Why do you look so surprised, though? I told you I'd come." you mutter, glancing at Jungkook whose brows seem slightly narrowed as he stares at you with a baffled look.

You clear your throat, taking the can of beer from his hands as he gapes at you while you take a huge gulp of it. "Enough of staying by myself. Let's just have fun, right?" you smile, patting Jungkook's chest as he gapes at you all over again, slowly looking down at your hands on his half exposed chest.

You remain unbothered, the touch lasting just around two seconds before you're pulling away and brushing past him, still holding his beer. He's not getting it back for sure, he's certain of that.

The three men gape at you as you make it to the living room, catching Maya's attention as she's already rushing towards you and pulling you into a hug. Namjoon notices you too, joining the two of you as he beams at you with a friendly smile, opening his mouth to say something.

"Jungkook already said it but... what the fuck." Taehyung mutters, still staring at you as you laugh at something Maya said.

"Let's just... leave her be. She's probably just trying to distract herself. What could we expect, am I right? She's not magically going to be the old happy Y/N." Jimin tells them, offering a positive option and speech as always, meanwhile Jungkook is watching you with furrowed brows.

He's speechless. He can't bring himself to say anything. All he knows is that for some reason, he doesn't like this. But at least you're here now and it settles a tiny feeling of relief in his chest. But it's barely recognizable with the uncomfortable twist in the pit of his stomach.

"... you should join us next time Y/N." Namjoon says, turning to you as he takes a decent sip from his wine.

The silver watch on his wrist glimmers underneath the dim lightning, catching your attention for a brief second before you meet his eyes looking at you while drinking wine. He's been talking about his plans with Maya in spring, when the weather will be warmer and suitable for some hiking.

There's a glint of amusement in his tone as he ends his talk with proposing you joining them the next time, the memories of your last hiking with him causes you to let out a breathy chuckle. Maybe you were whining a little while hiking up the hill but you definitely enjoyed being away from the city, surrounded by the green nature. Now, the idea sounds even better.

"Joonie, the true hiking with you, I mean when you're in charge of the route, is like asking for death," Maya says, squeezing her boyfriend's shoulder as you snicker underneath your breath when Namjoon opens his mouth, gasping. She looks back at you, noticing you holding back your laugh. "No, I'm serious. He'd walk to the end of the world if it was possible. He has no empathy for slackers or someone who's walking a little behind him,"

You haven't had the true honor to experience 'Namjoon hike' as Maya called it a few minutes ago when her boyfriend started talking about this particular topic. Namjoon was a great partner for hiking back when you were on a camping trip, his presence overall was very calming. But there might be some truth to her words. Back then, everyone went on a hike together and there wasn't exactly someone in charge. If Kiko didn't fall and injure her ankle, you get the feeling Namjoon would go way further than you actually went.

"Besides, I could use the whole physical work-out some other way." She winks shamelessly at her boyfriend, Namjoon's cheeks flashing red as he exclaims her name dramatically as you giggle at the two of them.

"Oh my god," Namjoon breathes out, flashing you a nervous chuckle as he tries to play it off meanwhile you and Maya cackle at his reaction. "You know what? You're free to join us, Y/N."

"Oh, is she?"

You snort, Namjoon choking over his words as he furiously shakes his head before glaring at his girlfriend. "For hiking, you're free to join us on our hike in the future. I'm gonna grab some wine now, oh my god." He keeps mumbling something, frustratedly leaving the two of you to keep laughing.

You see him entering the kitchen, pouring himself the promised wine as Maya starts laughing with you even more. Your laugh dies down slowly as you both keep snickering. Maya glances at you, smiling before she looks behind you, her eyes lingering there for a while which causes your curiosity to win over and you look over your shoulder.

Clearly, her attention snatched none other than Jungkook who's casually chatting to Seokjin and his wife. If you looked harder, you could notice Kiko standing beside him but from your point of view, Jungkook is covering her body for the most part. He better be, you think – even if he's not doing that intentionally.

You can't blame Maya for staring at him, considering his great sense of style and well, him and his face. But that's probably not the main reason why she stares at him. There's no doubt she heard what Haneul said yesterday, everyone heard that. Those who didn't know you and Jungkook hooked up surely know that now. Even though you kind of think everyone at least had an idea or just didn't care. And you didn't care that much too, after all, it's your and Jungkook's privacy and it's no one's business but yours.

Part of you doesn't care about what anyone has to say or think. The other part, the smaller one, wonders if Maya thinks of you differently. It'd be a shame, you really like her and her presence.

So you turn around, catching her attention this time as she gives you an apologetic look almost as if apologizing for letting her curiosity take over.

"Just ask," you sigh, "Everyone knows at this point, right? There's nothing to hide." you mutter dryly, taking a gulp of your beer.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I was just... I'm not judging you or anything, I hope you don't think that." she assures you, causing you to shake your head.

"Honestly, I don't care if someone judges me or not."

She nods, shifting on her heels slightly. "I mean... I can't blame you." she mutters, causing you to look at her in confusion.

"What?"

"No, it's nothing, ignore me." she starts laughing, growing suddenly nervous which is very rare for her.

It causes you to narrow your eyes. "You started, just spill it."

She sighs and starts chuckling at herself for a moment while you stare at her with confused eyes. "I can't blame you, that you've slept with Jungkook, I mean... just look at him," You widen your eyes, opening your mouth in shock as she quickly jumps to clarify. "I know I've a boyfriend, I love Joonie! I wouldn't change him, but clearly... I've got eyes and wow. If I was single and--"

"Okay, okay, I get it," you stop her, looking at her with furrowed brows before you burst giggling at the look she's giving you. She looks nervous, shy but amused at the same time. "God, don't let Namjoon hear."

"What? He knows he's hot. I told him when he first showed me some pictures from the camping trip."

You almost choke on your spit, chuckling at her as you shake your head. "I'm sure he liked to hear that." you muse, causing her to snicker.

"Well, he knows he's the only man in my life," she says giggling, but there's nothing but honesty in her voice. She glances around, finding Namjoon as her eyes soften immediately and you can see the love in them.

You stand there for a moment, nibbling on the inside of your cheek before Maya looks back at you and her features soften in a friendly worry. "I'm glad you joined us tonight, I know what you're going through right now is not easy but I'm here for you. I know we don't know each other for long, but I'm here if you need a friend."

"Thanks, that's nice to hear." you tell her, forcing yourself to smile her way. You appreciate her saying it, you just feel that stab in your chest every few minutes and you realize that no, you're not having fun like you promised yourself. You just wish people would stop bringing it up.

"I know you've Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin, but me and Joon are always here if you need someone else," she says and god, she's very sweet and attentive but you don't like that she keeps talking about this topic. It just reminds you how mad and hurt you're feeling.

Although, you stay quiet and smile her way.

"The man was so weird the whole day. It's clear he was very worried about you."

"Who? Jungkook?" you ask, knowing exactly what he's talking about and when she nods, you get your confirmation.

"Yeah, his head just wasn't in the right place. Honestly, fuck whatever anyone thinks."

"Couldn't say it better," you breathe out, sighing a little as you empty the can of beer by drinking the rest of it. "What do you say? One more?"

Maya takes the hint, afterall it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're not very open to talk about this topic. She understands that and she grins at you.

"Girl, count me in!"

One more has turned into many more that quickly turned you into being tipsy but for the first time, you kind of feel free even though the same hurtful feelings are still very fresh. And you came to a conclusion they're not going to leave just like that – not until you figure this whole thing out with Haneul.

You excuse yourself from Maya and Taehyung, the two loyal partners that almost made it their mission to drink just as much as you do. Even Jimin joined for a few shots (yes, you started drinking shots instead of beer). It's a decision you'll probably regret tomorrow morning but you'd do anything to have fun and not ponder on those thoughts too much. You're aware of them, but at least this way you get to laugh and actually have fun with your friends.

Your heels are starting to be a pain in your ass but your walk is somehow stable to the kitchen, where you take a whole bottle of vodka. This will do, you think before you hear someone make their way into the kitchen as well.

"Oh," Jungkook breathes out, surprised to see you as he sends you a faint smile while you just stare at him. "Are you having fun?"

It's clear it's his way of starting a conversation, not letting the obvious awkward tension take over. You nod, not really what to say. You notice he disposed himself of his jacket suit, chest on much bigger display now that he nears where you're standing.

Ever since you came downstairs, you haven't really spent time with him. You're not sure why, but you're glad about that considering whenever you see him, you're just reminded of what his girlfriend has done and it automatically makes you angry. So you've been kind of avoiding him, knowing his presence could evoke the build-up anger even more and you know yourself. You won't be holding back.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly, standing beside you as you grip the bottle tighter, clenching your jaw slightly. You're slowly getting sick of that question.

Maybe part of you knows (and the reason why you've been avoiding him) is the fact that he knows you too well, he makes you vulnerable and you're trying really hard not to fall apart in front of him. Not again after yesterday. You've cried enough.

"Don't I look okay to you?" You decide to say instead, raising a brow at him as he sighs.

"You know what I mean." he tells you, voice careful as if he knew you're just seconds from bursting.

Fully turning to your best friend, you stare deep into his eyes. "My boyfriend left because of your lovely girlfriend and her big mouth. Although, he didn't break up with me, he still hasn't contacted me ever since yesterday and oh, he embarrassed me in front of everyone, assuming I slept with my other two friends because I slept with you,"

He stares at you, eyes big and doe and not surprised at all. He knows all of that, he knows about everything you said. And he knows you're in fact – not okay.

"But other than that, I'm okay."

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

It's something about that pitiful look that sets you off, causing you to grit your teeth. "I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you," Okay, maybe he does but he's mostly worried. "I just want you to know I'm here for you."

Maybe it's how everyone seems to pity you that makes you not even angry, but embarrassed. They pity you and you don't like that feeling. You've noticed Seokjin's and Jia's glances at you, both of them looking at you almost the same way like Jungkook is looking at you right now. Taehyung might not be staring at you pitifully, but you know he does pity you and him drinking with you and joking around is his way of distracting you.

Jimin acts as if nothing happened, but you know him and Taehyung exchange glances whenever they're around.

As you glance at Jungkook, you find him nibbling on his bottom lip slightly as he peers at you with a soft look. But you're momentarily distracted when an increased fit of laughter gets your attention and you glance back to the main room, seeing Seokjin and Jia laughing about something. But that's not what turns your mood back to sour. The sight of Kiko does.

Although, she just stands there with a small smile on her face, it feels like a slap to your face. Jungkook follows your line of vision, cringing slightly as he opens his mouth to say something but before he can, you're faster.

"Well, now excuse me before I lose it all over again and mess up her pretty make-up." you give him a wide and tight smile which is nowhere near genuine.

"Y/N..." Jungkook sighs but you're already walking away, the bottle of vodka tightly gripped in your hands.

He stands there, sighing again before he rubs his face frustratedly. This whole night feels like a big failure.

Jungkook follows you shortly after, looking neutral as he looks around the room and notices Taehyung excitedly proposing to play hide-and-seek. The idea of hiding in this huge cabin excites mostly everyone, however Jungkook feels weird about your behavior and definitely feels that something isn't right. He stands close to you, noticing that you sense his presence because you tense a little which makes him frown slightly.

Just when he's sure that you will call it a stupid game, protesting and probably wanting to get drunk, you take a shot and grin at Taehyung. "Yeah, let's do it!" you yell excitedly, Maya joining you along with Hoseok and Seokjin who warns everyone not to break anything.

Everyone knows just because he says it, doesn't help that much. Everyone is mostly drunk and tipsy, so the chance of breaking something is very high-likely.

"Y/N..." Jungkook murmurs beside you, hands itching to reach towards you to make him look at him but before he can think whether it's a good idea or not, you look at him. "Can we just talk? I know you're--"

"Talk, right now? We're gonna play, Kook." you tell him, smiling at him before you brush past him and already join everyone in the circle they create, deciding who's going to be a seeker.

For god knows how many times, he sighs and joins everyone without a word, ignoring the pitiful look Jimin sends him because he's been witness to their interaction from a far.

It's close to midnight, maybe an hour or so, when everyone spreads around the entire cabin in a rush, trying to hide from Namjoon and Kiko (yes, the two of them deciding they'll be seekers for this game). Your heels slow you down a little but thanks to your tipsiness, you don't even feel the rush from trying to hide quickly.

Not knowing where you're even going, you open one of the doors at the end of the hall, walking in and slowly closing it. Sighing, you look around not really seeing much because the room is of course dark. It looks huge and from the look of it, it looks like a master bedroom. This has to be Seokjin's and Jia's room, you think.

You're too tipsy to hide underneath the bed, so you look around the room. There is a huge bathroom but unfortunately, there's no good hiding spot. Sighing, you walk into a walk-in closet that makes your mouth open. There aren't that many clothes, considering Seokjin's family doesn't spend too much time here but there are a few clothes which probably belong to Seokjin and Jia too.

Turning off the lights, you walk back into the bedroom. There is a huge balcony, placed at the back of the cabin with a view to snowy mountains. Of course, you can't hide there because it's freezing. Maybe it'd be a good spot, knowing they probably think no one would be stupid enough to hide there in this cold. You may be drunk, but you're not that drunk to risk your own health by some game.

You hear a little rustling in the room, your heart dropping for a second before you realize there must be someone already hiding. The sound has come from a tall closet in the corner of the room, so you slowly walk there cautiously. You reach for the knobs, suddenly snatching it open as you let out a surprised yelp when you see someone there.

"Oh my god," you whisper-yell, eyes wide as the person snorts and you realize it's Jungkook. Out of all places, he has to choose this room too, you almost want to laugh at the irony.

There's no time for any exchange of words because as you open your mouth again, Namjoon yelling they finished counting resounds and although it's faint because they're far away, you still hear him. Knowing there's no time to try and find another hiding spot, you quickly shove yourself there causing you to push Jungkook as he curses.

His back collides with the back of the closet, a thumping sound resounding loudly as you close the door, awkwardly pressed on Jungkook while an edge of hanger is pressing into the side of your face. You grunt, pushing it away as Jungkook shifts on his spot.

"Yah, go find another place. We can't both fit here." he protests, scolding you while more hangers are pressed in his back uncomfortably.

"Excuse me? I didn't know your annoying ass went here out of all places," you frown, and although it can't be seen in the dark, you know it's perfectly heard and recognizable in your voice.

Jungkook huffs just as Namjoon yells again that they're starting just in case someone didn't hear them.

"This is the most obvious spot." you grumble under your breath, turning around to face the front as Jungkook grunts when you accidentally elbow him in his stomach.

"Why did you go here then?" Jungkook mutters behind you.

"I ran out of time, it's hard to rush in heels," you point out bitterly, "We're going to be found here soon anyway, sixty seconds to hide? What am I? A spiderman?" you complain, hearing Jungkook shift trying to find a comfortable position but it's almost impossible. You're totally squeezed here and the closet looks like it's already full of Seokjin's and Jia's clothes.

That's why their walk-in closet is almost empty.

"Y/N, the point of hide-and-seek is for you to hide and shut up once you do hide." Jungkook retorts back at you.

"Shut up Jeon, nobody asked you."

"Just like nobody asked you to complain and bring spiderman into this."

"Oh god, you're such a child." you comment, rolling your eyes when you hear him huff behind you.

"Am I? Or are you?"

That makes you clench your jaw. It's obvious he's not just talking about your bickering, his bitter tone saying it all.

"I'm gonna ignore that." you grumble back.

"Good." He doesn't waste a second in replying back.

You straighten yourself, accidentally elbowing him again causing him to grunt in pain. Although, you don't apologize even though the apology is at the top of your tongue but your stubborn self remains quiet. You shouldn't talk too much either way, especially when you start hearing people knowing they must've found someone by now.

So you're quiet for a moment, just standing there in an awkward silence. Your feet hurt from wearing your heels and especially from standing in them in an uncomfortable position. You barely move, but you feel it perfectly and if you weren't so focused on your bickering, maybe you'd realize it hasn't been just Jungkook's chest that has been pressed against you from the moment you entered this closet and turned around with your back facing him.

You awkwardly bite your lower lip before you release it.

"Your dick is pressed against my ass." you comment, grumbling at Jungkook.

But as always, he reacts quickly to your accusation."What am I supposed to do? It's not like I do it on purpose." His voice is a silent exclamation of annoyance.

"Then scoot back!" you exclaim while whispering.

"Where? You shoved yourself in here when I told you there's no space!" he exclaims back.

You ignore him, knowing he's right but you won't admit it and the only thing that is left for you to do, is to stay quiet.

But Jungkook's dick is obviously not going anywhere and you feel it pressed against your lower back, almost touching your ass which makes you frustrated. It's been a while since you were this close to him and of course, there wasn't any reason to be this close to him. You haven't touched his dick ever since he fucked you in his apartment while you were draped over his couch. Thinking about those times again makes you frustrated and you feel your heart quicking up the pace.

"Oh my god..." you grumble, sounding annoyed, to which Jungkook quickly understands the reason behind it.

"It's right there! It's not my fault!" He quickly defends himself.

You open your mouth, wanting to tell him to put away his big dick but you're quickly stopped when the door from this bedroom opens and you shut your mouth immediately.

"Let me check here,"

You roll your eyes at the sound of Kiko's voice, hearing Namjoon give her a reply, saying he'll check the next room. The rule of this hide-and-seek was not to light up any lights which makes it more fun to play. Maybe that's why Hoseok refused to be a seeker the last minute this rule had been spoken.

"You idiots will scare the crap out of me for sure, no thanks. I'm hiding." He said which made everyone cackle devilishly, knowing he was right about that. So Namjoon took his place instead.

You don't see anything but you do hear her walking around the room, probably looking under the bed before she checks the bathroom and the walk-in closet as well. She's close, you think when you hear her heels clicking against the wooden floor. It seems as if she was just a few meters away from you and you press your hand over your mouth, automatically scooting back. Obviously, there's no space and you're left pressing against Jungkook and unfortunately, his dick too as you feel it now against your ass, pressed tightly.

And then it happens. He actually grunts at the contact, tensing right away as he closes his eyes in a failure.

You swear your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, your eyes widening at the sound he made knowing you're the reason why he made it because your stupid self just pressed against him like that. It wasn't done on purpose but it surely feels awkward, making you embarrassed.

Your cheeks feel hot and your breath is caught in your throat. There's silence, no one makes any noise and you almost think Kiko left even though you've never heard her closing the door. And just as this thought crosses your mind, the door from the closet where you're hiding snatches open and you almost stumble forward in surprise but Jungkook holds you.

Hands on your hips grips you tightly and he helps you stabilize on your heels, so you wouldn't hurt yourself.

"You good?" he asks behind you which you just nod to. He must've recognized the gesture in the darkness.

"Yeah, thanks." You decide to answer, getting out of the closet carefully.

Kiko must've noticed there's someone else there with you and as soon as she heard Jungkook's voice, at least she thought she did, her assumption turns out to be right when she clearly notices Jungkook stumbling out of your hiding spot too.

"Kookie?" she asks, your eyes automatically rolling and for the first time, you're not glad about the darkness because you'd gladly let her see you.

"Hi," he lets out almost nervously, scratching the back of his head. "You found us."

For some reason, you don't find this as funny as you'd expect to and you almost feel bad for Jungkook who looks nervous. Maybe he's scared Kiko will think of this differently and you notice how tense she seems to be, but that could easily be done by your presence.

She hasn't talked to you ever since yesterday happened, she's been avoiding you and you get the feeling Jungkook must've advised her to do so. Something tells you, her apologetic ass would crawl back to you and apologize for telling Haneul.

Oh, fuck... you're just getting angry all over again.

"You were hiding there?" she asks slowly and softly, almost insecure as she points towards the closet.

You see Jungkook clearing his throat, opening his mouth but you just step closer to Jungkook so she could see you. She turns her head towards you and you give her a tight smile which you're not sure if she catches. At least there's a slight moonlight coming through the windows, so she probably can tell your features have changed.

"Don't worry, it's not like he'd cheat on you." you tell her, patting Jungkook's chest as he tenses.

"Y/N," he warns you, you know you're pushing his buttons but the look on her face tells you it was worth it.

"Oh sorry, that must've slipped my mouth," you shrug innocently, grinning at him before you start walking out of the door. "It's no secret anyways."

And you're out of room, finally releasing a breath of relief as you make it downstairs where others found are already there.

You're quickly accompanied by Jimin, Maya and Taehyung as they share their hiding spots. Their laughter is the only thing that makes you slightly distracted to the point you don't notice Jungkook and Kiko coming downstairs shortly after, hands intertwined together.

The midnight comes quickly after that, or maybe it's just you because once you started doing shots with Taehyung and Maya again, time has seemed to quicken up. Soon after, you found yourself outside, everyone wearing jackets to slightly ease up the cold while doing the countdown. Your legs shiver even though they're wrapped in a blanket that you're holding closer to yourself.

Seokjin told you about the fireworks, so that's the main reason everyone is doing countdown outside. And just like he promised, it's beautiful and colorful and even though everyone cheers and you're squeezed into a hug with Jimin and Taehyung, you just can't find yourself to be happy.

The main reason is that you imagined this trip differently. And it's the saddening feeling that Haneul should've been here with you and he's not, so you're naturally just reminded of everything that happened and everything he said to you again.

However, you find yourself smiling and hugging your friends. You get a glimpse of Jungkook and Kiko kissing, causing your smile to drop as you quickly look away and ignore the feeling of jealousy. If it weren't for her and things wouldn't turn out the way they did, you could've had your own kiss with your boyfriend.

You're jealous, angry and hurt because Jungkook gets to kiss her as if nothing happened, meanwhile you're standing here hurt and without your boyfriend's presence. They're both selfish, although you don't expect them to act differently or not have a New Year's kiss just because of you. You know it's stupid to think of it that way but you can't help it. You're petty and all the emotions are still fresh. One day won't solve anything.

Shortly after, Jungkook comes to join your circle and hugs everyone, wishing them the same old "Happy New Year". He does the same to you, his eyes softening as soon as he looks you in the eyes noticing you look kind of sad. He doesn't mention it though, knowing that's not what you wanted. The hug he gives you is longer and probably stronger than the one he shared with the others, Jimin and Taehyung included.

You hold your blanket, so you don't exactly hug him back or put your hands around him, but you lay your face and you seek a comfort that you know only Jungkook can give you. He has a special talent for that and for a few seconds you find yourself relaxing slightly and enjoying him being so close to you.

You haven't been acting towards him well and it makes you feel like crap. But you've to put yourself and your well-being first. You know your remark that had been aimed at Kiko when she found you and Jungkook hurt him, you know it and yet you're nowhere near done.

Maybe you're selfish too. Or maybe this is just a very fucked up situation but unfortunately, you're not going to pretend to act a certain way for someone else's sake.

When you pull away, you give him an awkward smile which he undoubtedly notices but doesn't call you out for it, offering you a soft smile. You're both snatched by Taehyung and Jimin who ushers everyone inside and you can't complain, shaking once you make it inside and you're welcomed by the warmth of the cabin.

The night doesn't end there, the exact opposite actually. The music turns even louder and Seokjin turns on disco lights they brought over, making it look like a club instead of a simple living room.

You're having fun, drinking too much but luckily there's no one stopping you. Somehow, you find yourself sitting on one of the couches, legs crossed and finally warmed up, when you notice there's also Kiko.

She's talking to Jungkook about something and you catch her giggle at something he says. The way he smiles back at her pains you even more, feeling betrayed and before you know it, you're already gulping the next shot Taehyung prepared for you.

Distracting yourself, you listen to Namjoon who suggests going camping in June or July which everyone agrees immediately. Seokjin doesn't forget to mention that he wants to go too, but he's not sure if he'll be able to go before the baby arrives. If a camping trip takes place in June, Jia will already be nine months pregnant so technically he could come but isn't sure if he wants to risk it.

With that topic, Taehyung gushes about how much fun he had the last time and you automatically agree when he asks you if you had fun.

"Of course, I had fun," you ponder, noticing Kiko looking at you and surprisingly, she doesn't look away like you expect her to. "That camping trip was amazing, right Jungkook?" you ask loudly, catching Jungkook's eyes as he looks at you and frowns in confusion for a moment.

Where are you going with this?

"Exciting even," you muse, smirking when you see Jungkook clearing his throat and shifting on his spot. "Wouldn't you say?"

He already knows what you're talking about, it's not hard to know.

"Yeah," he lets out through clenched teeth, voice sounding strained.

Everyone else must've picked up on it and you notice Taehyung glancing between you and him, knowing there's a missing piece to your conversation meanwhile Jimin looks worried about whatever you're about to say.

Namjoon and Maya look clueless, confused even while Hoseok just drinks from his champagne and Seokjin cuddles to his wife, too occupied to even properly think about your conversation.

"Am I missing something?" Taehyung asks, earning a warning glare from Jimin but the poor guy just shrugs innocently and almost looks amused when you purse your lips and smirk at him.

"Why? Do you get the feeling as if you were?" you ask innocently, even a completely drunk person would be able to tell the mischief in your tone.

"Hmm, you know I do," Taehyung muses, smirking at you as you giggle. "I get the feeling there's something more to this exciting part. So tell us, what was so exciting about this trip?"

Jimin sighs beside you, rubbing his forehead while he holds a glass of whiskey on his knee. It's more than clear that Taehyung is all here for juicy stuff and it's like the two of you are speaking without words, eyes amusingly dancing between each other.

"Why don't you tell us, Jungkook? What else was exciting... or excited?" you ask, biting your lower lip to prevent yourself from grinning but you do as Taehyung gasps, his drunk head already getting the clue of what you're hinting at as his jaw falls on the floor.

Jungkook stands up abruptly, tossing his glass on the table with a loud clunk as you just raise your brow at him as he makes his way over to you.

"I'm just saying, the tents were very comfortable--"

"Can I talk to you?" Jungkook asks through clenched teeth, eyes momentarily glaring at Taehyung who cackles while Jimin sighs again.

Maya snorts somewhere in the background while Namjoon silently scolds her. You're not sure what others do, but some of them probably ignore this interaction because you hear Seokjin talking about something to someone.

"I was actually in the middle of talking. I thought we're all sharing our memories from the trip."

"Stop it," he snaps silently, glaring at you. "Come on."

"I'm not done--what the fuck!" you exclaim as you're hoisted up, Jungkook's hand wrapped around your forearm as he drags you out of the living room.

He's going too fast and you curse at him, trying to pry his hands off you but he holds you tightly. You're too busy looking at your feet, trying not to stumble in those goddamn heels, so you don't look at the reactions of others.

Jungkook drags you upstairs, letting you go when you make it to the middle.

"What the fuck was that?" he asks you straight away, hands going into his hair for a moment.

You cross your arms over your chest. "What? I was just sharing with others."

"Sharing what exactly? That I fucked you in a tent on that camping trip?" he snaps back.

"Actually yeah," you straighten yourself, glaring at him. "I wasn't done though. I forgot to tell them how you almost fucked me in a forest on that trip too."

Jungkook grunts, looking away as he tries to calm himself down by breathing sharply and slowly. "Why are you doing this?"

You just stare at him blankly, although you do poke your tongue into your cheek.

"I know you're hurt and angry, but I don't get why you are pulling a stunt like this."

He probably does have a clue but decides to talk about it, wanting to make you feel guilty. At least you think so, because the way he looks at you is a mix of anger and disappointment. Unfortunately, you don't care.

"A stunt? It's true, Jungkook. Suddenly I can't be open about what we've done? Stop making a big deal out of this... I mean, everyone already knows!" you yell while laughing bitterly, throwing your arms in the air.

"Stop," he murmurs. "This isn't you. You're just hurt."

"Oh, fuck off," you scoff, "This isn't me? How would you know? You think you know me all perfectly and can talk me out of everything. You know what? No, fuck you too. Go back to your so perfect girlfriend because why wouldn't you? She just ruined your best friend's relationship but who cares, right? At least you got her back."

"I don't know what you want from me, Y/N. You want me to break-up with her because she made a mistake? You know how selfish that sounds? And reminding her of our deal--I know you're doing this to hurt her."

"No shit, Sherlock," you scoff, "She hurt me and nobody cares!"

"I care!" he yells suddenly, releasing a breath as he frustratedly pinches the bridge of his nose. "This is not healthy, Y/N. You're hurt and--"

"Fuck off, seriously," you tell him, wanting to brush past him but he catches your wrists. "Let me go, Jeon. I didn't finish talking about how you fucked me while she was just a few meters away from us."

And then Jungkook growls, he freaking growls, before he backs you to the wall and presses you into it.

"What the fuck," you curse at him, pushing him in his chest but he doesn't budge and presses his hands against the wall beside your head, caging you in. "Did I get you mad?" you coo, touching his chest lightly.

"Stop," he warns you, "Stop acting like this."

You scoff, "I can act however I want," you look away for a second. "And who the fuck are you to tell me what's healthy and what's not? You're the one who faked a relationship just to get back a cheater."

"And you're hurting over some asshole that slut-shamed you in front of everyone."

You open your mouth, genuinely taken aback by the sudden outburst coming from him as you grow mad and hurt at the same time.

Jungkook's eyes widen for a moment, as if he just realized what he said but he keeps his mouth shut and you don't give the satisfaction of reacting to that. So you purposely ignore it.

"I should get back," you tell him through clenched teeth, "Maybe Kiko would be interested knowing you also fucked me in your--"

"Fucking stop!"

You jump when Jungkook slaps the wall harshly beside your head, breath turning heavy as he glares at you. He's so close, his own harsh breaths warming your face as you breathe heavily too, your heart racing from his sudden reaction.

You can't blame him though, you purposely provoked him knowing you're pushing his buttons way too much.

Jungkook sighs, head hanging low before he slowly looks up, meeting your suddenly soft eyes. He leans his forehead against yours, noses brushing against each other as you both breathe heavily, breaths mingling together.

"What are you doing to me," he whispers, closing his time for a moment.

You almost want to cry, growing more vulnerable each second by his close proximity and all you can do is stare at him, eyes dropping down to his half-opened mouth. He stares at you, his own eyes dropping to your lips once he slightly detaches his forehead from yours. You both share a look, something you can't explain because you just stare at each other, acknowledging the close proximity.

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

You and Jungkook snap your head towards the end of the hall, finding a frowning Jimin who harshly whispers at the two of you.

"Seokjin is about to cut the cake." he explains, eyeing you and Jungkook. You completely forgot about that NYE cake Seokjin ordered.

You clear your throat as Jungkook suddenly takes a large step back, taking a long breath as you quickly rush past him. You ignore the look Jimin gives you, quickly going downstairs.

And Jungkook does the same, looking at Jimin as if the older one isn't giving him a strange look and glare mixed together, brushing past him.

Jimin just sighs, following you downstairs. He needs another shot. Pronto. 

The party is in a full swing, still going wild and maybe even wilder since everyone seems to be drunk and having fun. Well, maybe except Jungkook who has distanced himself from the crowd of his friends, needing that little space after your conversation.

Oh fuck, you got him so mad. He still replays your interaction no matter how many times he's trying to tell himself to let it go. You were tipsy, were the key word because now you look completely drunk.

But at least there's a smile on your face while you're dancing with Taehyung who seems to be just as drunk. Is that smile of yours fake? Are you really just having fun or is it your way of pretending to have fun? He can't tell because you're drunk.

Your words that you so bluntly told him have affected him more than he'd admitted. He knows they still affect him, even though he knows it was just a pure act of your anger and pain at the same time. You're probably more hurt than angry, but you wouldn't admit it but he knows you.

It feels twisted – you trying to hurt Kiko just because she hurt you by opening her mouth about something she obviously shouldn't have the right to do. He gets that, he still gets annoyed and just genuinely exhausted when he thinks about it. It hurts him because this is what he was so scared of.

He's already standing between you two and he just can't do nothing, letting you hurt each other. Intentionally or unintentionally. He can't blame you for your reaction, he knew from the moment you appeared downstairs that you've a certain facade going on. But you trying to hurt Kiko, even though he understands that you're mad at her, by bringing up your deal just makes him feel betrayed.

It's clear it would do no good and just hurt more feelings, not saying you'd probably feel embarrassed the next day after you'd realize you so openly talked about you and him in front of everyone. He's not stupid, everyone probably knows you hooked up. But still, bringing everyone into it would never end well and would just end up in a huge disaster of embarrassment.

So fucking exhausted, Jungkook thinks and sighs as he tooks another swing of his tequila. He has long forgo a beer, knowing he needs something stronger to ease his nerves and the exhaustion of this trip.

"So, what was that upstairs?"

He doesn't flinch but is surprised to see Jimin, stopping beside him and giving him a glance that he can't quite identify what it means. But something tells him Jimin thinks about it more than it is in reality.

"What exactly?" Jungkook mutters, forcing himself to look away from his friend and his almost judging eyes. Now that he thinks about it, he does feel a little uncomfortable by that. Especially because he knows Jimin seeing you two like that raises a weird suspicion. Shortly said, he realizes how bad it must've looked.

Jungkook listens to Jimin as he sighs, but still keeps his eyes elsewhere. He's tense, he can feel his back muscles flexing but decides to stay silent by brushing his tongue against his back teeth.

"If someone else saw you like that, you know what they'd think." Jimin decides to say, frowning a little.

That causes Jungkook to finally glance at him, mirroring his own frowned expression as he notices Jimin's face slightly red but despite that, he doesn't look drunk but it's easily recognizable that he must've had a few shots.

"It seems like you're thinking the same thing." Jungkook scoffs a little, taking another gulp of his tequila.

It burns the back of his throat but it's nothing he can't handle. He almost craves it now.

"I'm not... well, sorry but to see you guys standing so close to each other like--" Jimin stops, sighing again. "Look, I'm just saying it looked weird. There would be rumors going around if someone else saw you."

"I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend if that's what you're insinuating," Jungkook points out with a hard tone. Jimin widens his eyes, realizing how that must've sounded and he's about to apologize when Jungkook doesn't let him by easily continuing after a moment. "And as much as Y/N hates Kiko right now and maybe is plotting some kind of sick revenge, she wouldn't use me to hurt her like that."

"Of course not," Jimin agrees silently, "I don't think you guys would go behind her back and do something like that. You're friends, right?" he asks unsurely and Jungkook catches on to it but decides not to comment on it.

Instead, he just nods.

"You just came at the wrong time, it wasn't like that Jimin-ah," Jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyes with his free hand before he sighs. "She was purposely trying to piss me off. She was about to tell Kiko about--" He stops, almost cringing when he realizes he was about to confess what you were doing on that camping trip.

"Well... about us, like a more detailed version and I could've seen how much pain she's hiding behind that anger. She said some hurtful stuff to be honest... I don't find it very pleasing and comfortable to hear. She knows me so well, so she knows exactly where to dig to hurt me, even though I think she wasn't trying to purposely hurt me."

"Yeah, I understand that. Arguing with people close to you is the hardest because they know you the best."

Jungkook silently agrees by nodding.

"I just got frustrated, she was trying to go downstairs and I stopped her before she could say something that she might regret tomorrow. I know she's mad but I also know she's not the type to hurt people in that way,"

It's clear your emotions have been controlling you ever since yesterday.

"I mean... sometimes she does say hurtful things but it's not because she wants to hurt someone but because she's honest. This was different, tonight was different. She wasn't about to say those things because she wanted to be honest, but because she wanted to hurt Kiko."

"I understand why she wanted to do that. Not because it's right but because she's been hurt a lot since Haneul left and overall, yesterday was very overwhelming even for me, so I can't possibly imagine how overwhelmed she felt among other things," Jimin says softly, causing the younger to perk his eyes in interest but mostly he nods because he agrees with him.

"But I also think she should've considered your feelings more. Especially in what position she's putting you in. This is mainly between her and Kiko, but also she's your girlfriend and that makes it even more complicated. To say it this way... every side has its own truth and reason why it's acting like this."

Jimin watches his younger friend nibbling on his bottom lip almost self-consciously, eyes focused on the floor as he doesn't even blink while processing his words. Jungkook is in a very bad position right now and just like Jimin said, it makes it even more complicated.

Jimin always knows what to say and even when Jungkook doesn't say it, he appreciates him saying all these things and even for coming up to talk to him. Maybe the main purpose of this conversation was about what happened upstairs, which Jungkook explained. The truth is, it was a little bit of both. Jimin wanted to know what's going on but mainly, he saw Jungkook standing alone and he quickly realized there's something wrong with his younger friend.

Jungkook is that kind of friend and person that doesn't usually talk about his own struggles. If he does, you're the person he comes up to and opens to. But considering you're the reason, or more like the situation that involves you is, makes you unavailable. Plus, it seems like you've other important things to deal with than Jungkook's hurt feelings and frustrating thoughts that are caused by this particular situation.

"Thank you hyung..." Jungkook mutters, glancing at Jimin before quickly averting his eyes elsewhere. Still, he catches the little grin that spreads on Jimin's lips.

"Aw, did you just call me hyung?" Jimin coos, gripping Jungkook's shoulders as he shakes with him a little causing the younger one to roll his eyes but there's a little smile playing on his lips. "Don't go soft on me now," Jimin teases, laughing at Jungkook's expression of annoyance and amusement at the same time.

With one swift movement, Jungkook pokes him in his stomach which causes Jimin yelp as he laughs and lets him go, knowing Jungkook is stronger and would easily put him back in place.

"Don't worry about it too much, Jungkook-ah," Jimin says softly, catching his eyes. "She just has to get drunk and get over it on her own. We all tried to help as much as we could, we still do but look," Jimin points towards you, Jungkook's eyes widening when he sees you on a freaking table dancing with Taehyung. That looks very dangerous.

Jungkook is really to stroll over and Jimin probably expects it, quickly catching his wrist to stop him.

"Let her have fun. She needs this. I think Taehyung does a great job at distracting her."

Jungkook tenses but stays glued to his spot, his eyes eyeing you and Taehyung to make sure Jimin is right. You're laughing at Taehyung, both singing or more like yelling the song's lyrics.

"She's wearing freaking heels and is dancing on a table," Jungkook points out, voice slightly raising as if Jimin couldn't see it.

He doesn't get it. Jimin is usually the one that would get worried first and then plead you to come down from there.

"What if she falls? Or Taehyung? They're both drunk." he mutters, eyeing his friends worriedly as Jimin slightly smiles at Jungkook's little pout.

"Taehyung is holding her. They're just standing there, they're not even dancing that much."

Jungkook stares skeptically at you and Taehyung. Jimin is right, Taehyung has a tight grip on you but that doesn't mean you both can't fall. And Jungkook speaks out his thoughts causing Jimin to snort as he shakes his head.

"Just let them be. Don't ruin their fun."

Lastly, Jungkook wants to argue and point out that if they'll have to call an ambulance there is no going back and somebody can get hurt. He doesn't understand why everyone around you doesn't do something, they just seem to cheer you on.

But he decides not to get involved for now, your smile and laugh is very rare these days so he drops it. However, he still allows himself to huff loudly as he takes another gulp from his tequila because – what else he can do now, right? 

A half an hour later, you and Taehyung have become more reckless with each passing minute and song. You even take shots on the table, not getting off it while doing so and Jungkook sees you stumbling a little, his heart dropping at the sight.

He might've decided he's not going to get involved, but he surely is about to.

You're dancing, your dress is hiking up as everyone probably gets a perfect view of your lacy white panties because even from the distance where Jungkook is standing, he notices the white fabric almost immediately. Jimin must've noticed it too because he looks at Jungkook with widened eyes.

"Alright, that's it. I'm stopping this right now." Jungkook says, putting down his glass with a loud thud as he strolls back to the living room, aiming towards you and Taehyung.

He fails to hear Jimin sigh as he follows him. He has to admit, Jungkook is right. It's starting to get out of hand and you still wearing those heels look even more dangerous. You're more the careful type even when drunk, but right now you're so reckless and you definitely don't need to break your leg or something.

You're in the middle of singing with Taehyung when you hear your voice being called, causing you to look down. Immediately, you're met with Jungkook's disapproval frown and if you weren't so drunk, maybe you'd notice how serious he looks. Jimin stands behind him, eyeing the scene worriedly.

"Come down, you're gonna hurt yourself." Jungkook tells you, almost pleading with you before he sends a glare Taehyung's way when he notices him twerking all of a sudden.

"Yeah, it's dangerous. You're wearing heels." Jimin tries behind Jungkook, but you barely pay them any attention as you start giggling at Taehyung's twerking as you slap his ass.

Taehyung starts giggling, wiggling his eyebrows at you as Jungkook groans and looks desperately at Jimin. He just shrugs but decides to make his way to Taehyung, scolding him too.

"Y/N, come on, come down from there." Jungkook tries again but all he's met with is...

"You want me, I want you baby,My sugarboo, I'm levitating,"

Jungkook groans loudly, glaring at the way you lean towards him while still standing on that freaking table and singing at him unbothered. At least that table looks stable and massive.

"Stop it."

"You stop it!" you exclaim childishly. "Come up here!"

"Y/N, I don't think--"

"I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight,I need you all night, come on dance with me,I'm levitating,"

It's the way you kind of jump while dancing and singing that makes Jungkook's eyes grow big, your legs slightly unstable as you stumble a little and yelp surprisingly, but you start giggling as if you didn't just almost fall.

In the background, Jimin is trying to tug down drunk Taehyung and yells at Namjoon for help. All of that interaction goes almost unnoticed by Jungkook because he can feel the way his stomach clenched when you almost fell.

"That's it," He snaps, catching your arms as you start to wiggle from his hold but he holds you even tighter, too scared to let go in case you'd fall. "You're coming down, right now."

"Let me go, Jeon," you yell drunkenly, alcohol making you protest way less than you'd if you were sober. But you wouldn't be dancing on a table while sober, so there's that.

Jungkook doesn't beat around the bush, tugging you closer to him before he wraps his arms around your frame. He hoists you up as if you gained nothing, throwing you over his shoulder and quickly pulling your dress down to cover your thighs and to save some of your dignity, before he starts walking out of the room. On the way out there he catches Kiko's eyes but doesn't stop because you start thrashing around.

"What the hell," He hears you complain, "Let me go!" you yell at him, trying to move your legs but Jungkook holds you tightly just below your butt, keeping a tight grip on your thighs while the other arm holds your calves.

He starts walking up the stairs and you grow even more frustrated at the lack of attention he's giving you. You can't believe he just picked you up like a freaking bag of potatoes. Your stomach clenches uncomfortably from being head down, all the alcohol swimming in your stomach.

Met with his butt (not your fault that it's currently in the line of your vision and thanks to the position you're in), you start smacking repeatedly his lower back and butt, yelling for him to let you go. Or at least you think you're yelling but in reality, you're drunkenly blabbering and screeching with an awkward high-pitched voice.

Jungkook clenches his jaw when he feels you smacking his backside, your hands showing no mercy.

"I swear to god, you fucking let me down right now!" you yell, still smacking him. "I'm serious, Jeon. How dare you to just pick me up like I'm--"

You're immediately shut down when Jungkook's palm meets your ass, your jaw dropping as you halt all your movements. Did he just spank you? Well, it worked because you're too shocked to react in any way as the sting from his hand slowly fades away. You look almost like a doll, tossed limpily over his wide shoulder as if you weigh nothing.

And then it hits you.

"Did you just spank me?" You voice your thoughts, scolding him with a stern yet shocked voice.

You realize you've made it upstairs, Jungkook's steps confident and stable as he makes it into your room, shutting down the door with his leg as he gently kicks into it causing it to shut with a loud thud.

All you see is the back of his legs and soon after you're being tossed onto your bed. Your body bounces for a few seconds until it stops and you just lay there with a prominent scowl.

"You act like brat, you get treated like one." he says simply, frowning at you as he stands at the end of your bed, glancing down at you as you glare at him.

"Excuse me?" you exclaim, trying to sit up.

He raises a brow when he sees you slightly struggling and does nothing to help you. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest as his button-up strains around his biceps.

Sitting up, you huff as you open your mouth, but instead of something getting out of it you just stare at Jungkook. He raises his brow again at you, knowing you're about to throw another set of insults and threats.

"I forgot what I was about to say." you murmur, snort leaving your lips as you start giggling at yourself.

Jungkook's corner of mouth twitches as he breathes out a chuckle. "You'll thank me tomorrow, trust me. You're already too drunk, you'd feel sick if you kept drinking more."

You both know you weren't about to stop, which is very irresponsible of you. You've always been the responsible one when it comes to partying and drinking. You knew your limit and even know, being drunk and getting tired, you can tell you've crossed that limit a long time ago. Your stomach feels weird, yet you don't feel like throwing up. But you know trying to eat something would just make you throw up for sure. Just the idea of food makes you want to gag.

"I was having fun," you pout, suddenly letting your body relax as your back hits the soft mattress. Arms above your head, you stare at the plain ceiling that you've grown so familiar with.

"I know," Jungkook gently says, crouching down as he starts taking off your heels. You let him, feeling his fingers brush against your skin every now and then while taking them off. Your ankles are free from the pressure and you sigh in relief as Jungkook stands up, causing you to glance at him with hooded eyes. "You're gonna be fine? I think you should sleep it off."

You just stare at him, his words not really dawning on you, at least not until he just gives you a nod (or more like to himself) as he turns around and you realize he's leaving.

"Kook, wait," you call out, rubbing your eyes and smudging your eye make-up without you realizing. But you do think about your make-up. "I need to take my make-up off."

Jungkook snorts but stays in his spot, not leaving. "You can just take it off tomorrow."

You let out a dramatic gasp. "You know I can't do that," you scold him, "My skin will look like hell tomorrow."

"I'm sure you'll feel like it too," he hums, but it goes unheard by you as you just sigh before trying to sit up all over again. Jungkook sees you struggling, sighing in frustration. "For fucks sake."

But two long strides towards you and he's back in front of you, reaching towards you to help you stand up. You stumble but he quickly catches you.

"Whoops," you grin stupidly before trying to brush past him.

You do eventually, not forgetting to bump into him in the process as you make it out of your room. Jungkook groans, rubbing his forehead frustratedly before he quickly goes to catch up with you. He almost sighs in relief when you're walking the opposite way of the party downstairs and actually walking towards the bathroom.

Jungkook follows you, urging you to sit up on the toilet but not before he quickly closes the lid. You listen to him, sitting there and watching him through hooded eyes as he's searching for make-up removal wipes. He finds them, not really sure who it belongs to but he doesn't care, opening it up.

He walks towards you, gently telling you to close your eyes as you do and he starts wiping off your make-up. He's gentle, too scared to hurt you and it probably takes him way more than it'd if you did it yourself, but unfortunately you're in no state to do that. You should probably take a shower to sober up but he's too scared to leave you alone in there, in case you slip up.

Surprisingly, you just sit there soundlessly, occasionally humming as he makes sure your face is make-up free. You should probably use some cleanser to make sure it's extra clean, but you seem too drunk and the last thing Jungkook wants is to bother you with not so important tasks. But he still leads you to a bathroom sink and washes your face with a slightly cold water which you start whining about, but he just shushes you and continues rubbing your face with his big palm.

Once he's done, he dries off your face with a soft small towel. You open your eyes, drunkenly staring at Jungkook before you start giggling out of nowhere. He doesn't question you, but he does find you amusing as he chuckles and tosses the towel away.

"Come on, let's sleep it off." He tries to take your hands but you pry them off.

"I need to take a shower." you point out, trying to reach for the hem of your dress to slip it off while Jungkook's eyes widen in panic. Out of all situations, now you decide to be responsible? He knows you wouldn't go to bed without washing yourself but he kind of hoped you're too drunk to even think about something like a shower.

"No, no, no," He tries to stop you, grabbing your hands. "You'll take a shower tomorrow."

You frown at that. "Huh? You expect me to go to bed without a shower?" you exclaim drunkenly, trying to reach for the hem again but Jungkook stops you once again.

"Listen, you're too drunk. You could easily slip up there, I'm not risking that."

Why is he even trying to reason with you? You're stubborn as hell, plus you're drunk which is not a good combination.

"You could just take one with me," you propose, bursting into a fit of giggles when you see Jungkook's not impressed look, his doe eyes widening. "Oh my god, I'm kidding. Loosen up!" you laugh, hiccuping a little before you push his firm chest.

"I took care of you when you were drunk," you tell him sassily, eyes hooded and hiccups making their way past your lips every few seconds. "I watched over you when you were taking a shower."

Yeah, the memory feels still fresh. Jungkook insisted you be there in case he'll slip up. It's funny how this situation is familiar but roles reversed.

"We were single back then," And fucking, "I've a girlfriend and you've a boyfriend."

"Do I?" you scoff bitterly, your grin falling just like that and it makes Jungkook curse at himself for mentioning it.

He wants to argue, tell you that he didn't break-up with you and there's nothing final yet. He doesn't want you to worry and be sad, but you're drunk and emotional. However, you just sigh and grab your toothbrush.

Jungkook stands there, watching you how you messily brush your teeth but he does help you with a toothpaste once he sees you almost using all of it and most of it falling into the sink. Once you're done, he uses that time to take you by your wrist and quickly lead you out of there.

On the way to your room, you start complaining about being dirty. God, you're so dramatic, Jungkook thinks as he listens to your drunken whines as he keeps tugging you to your room while you stumble every few seconds behind him.

"You're not dirty, Y/N." Jungkook grumbles, opening the door from your room.

"I am! I didn't take a shower!" you whine dramatically, pouting once you're in your room as Jungkook closes the door and turns to you.

He helps you take off your choker and earrings, putting them on your nightstand carefully.

"Y/N!" he screeches once he sees you slipping off your dress, revealing your exposed thighs and the hem of your lacy panties. "You can't just--"

He turns around, growing frustrated by you.

"Oh, come on, it's not like you haven't seen it all." He hears you snickering, rustling can be heard in the meantime.

"Now it's different," he complains, murmuring as he keeps his eyes on the wall. "Just tell me when you're done."

You don't reply, but he hears occasional grunts of annoyance and more rustling. His hands itching to help you but he knows it's for the best if he just stays standing here with his back turned to you. It's more about respect he has for you than anything else.

"Done." he hears you mumble.

He waits a few seconds before he cautiously turns around, not really sure if you're dressed up. For all he knows, you could be standing there star naked. Luckily, he's met with a sight of you in your pyjamas with your dress laying next to your feet.

You reach for it, wanting to fold it properly because you know you'd curse at yourself tomorrow morning if you wouldn't.

"I got it," he tells you, already reaching for the dress while trying to fold them neatly. "Go to bed." he tells you softly and surprisingly, you comply and you crawl on the bed until you make it to your pillows.

Jungkook snorts at the sight, "Such a baby." he mutters, placing your dress on top of a dresser.

He's about to turn off the lights, glancing at you to check on you, just to see you already laying underneath the duvet with head on the soft pillows. Your eyes are open though and you blink at the staring in thought.

You look cute but for some reason Jungkook feels sad. It's something about you just laying there with the cutest pout and unrecognizable look in your eyes.

But he turns off the lights, immediately hearing your protests.

"Kook," you whine, "I can't sleep."

That makes Jungkook chuckle as he makes his way towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it just beside you. The mattress dips underneath his weight and the scent of him invades your senses.

"You're already falling asleep." he chuckles silently, moonlight peeking from your unclosed blinds as he sees your features.

He brushes a few hair off your face, pushing the urge to poke your nose just to annoy you but he knows it's not the right time.

"No," you whine with closed eyes. "My stomach is so full. I don't feel good." you complain silently.

"Do you want me to get you a bucket just in case? Think you're gonna throw up?"

Even in your state you recognize the worry in his voice and how alarmed he seems to be. That makes you smile but even the littlest movement of your lips make you feel as if you're running a marathon. Jungkook is right, you're already falling asleep but there's something keeping you away from it, and that's the amount of alcohol in your stomach.

"No," you answer. "Can you rub my back?"

Jungkook chuckles, nose scrunched cutely at your request.

The muted sounds of bass and music can be heard, but to be honest, Jungkook doesn't really feel like joining there even though he knows he'll have to go downstairs at some point.

Okay, he'll stay until you fall asleep so he can be sure you're alright.

"Alright, turn over." he tells you and you happily giggle, turning your back towards him.

He snorts and starts rubbing your back gently.

"Mmm, that feels good." He hears you muffle into your pillow, muscles relaxing almost instantly.

"Kook," you whisper just when he thinks you already fell asleep. He hums in return, waiting for you to continue which takes a moment. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He knows, he freaking knows but for some reason he asks and wants to hear you say it.

"I acted like a bitch," you tell him, suddenly plopping on your back as you look at him with half-closed eyes. "I was angry."

"I know," Jungkook murmurs, features softening as he places his hands on his lap while staring at you.

"I'm sad," you inform him with a whisper and he swears he feels like his heart has just cracked.

"I know that too," he offers softly, surprised when you messily try to reach for one of his hands.

Once you do, you squeeze his hand as you bring it to your stomach where you hold it with your both hands.

"And I'm hurt." This time Jungkook squeezes your hand.

"I know," he whispers, "But I'm here."

"I know," you smile, "I love you, Kook," you murmur sleepily.

"Say it back." you demand childishly which makes him snort.

"I love you too, you little brat." he says, amusement and a grin still heard in his voice.

You hum in content, suddenly turning the way you were before – with your back turned back to him. "Rub my back, please."

He laughs silently, front teeth peeking through his lips as he complies and continues to rub your back gently.

He's sure it's not even a minute after when you still stay in the same position not moving. He stops rubbing your back, waiting for you to scold him and tell him to continue but all he's met with is your soft breaths leaving your mouth. Once he leans towards you to check on you, he sees your eyes closed already dreaming.

He chuckles, brushing some of those restless waves off your face before he stands up – ready to go back downstairs to call it a night. But not before he makes sure there's a bucket beside your bed which he brings from the bathroom just in case. And he doesn't leave before checking on you one last time, assuring everyone you're okay, already taken care of and sleeping when he makes it downstairs and Jimin almost jumps on him to ask about you.

And Taehyung would do the same, if he wasn't passed out on the couch. But the night doesn't end for Jungkook there, especially when Jimin asks him to help him to get Taehyung to their room.But he does it with no complaints because... what wouldn't he do for his friends?

[goldsbitch]

Here I go again

part 4 to I gave so many signs

summary: Afternoon talks are harder than late night fucks.

warning: present + flashbacks, mentions of cheating and typos

song fic (disclaimer: rights belong to the respectable owners)

The Louvre - Lorde Mamma Mia - ABBA (shoot me, I heard an amazing slow piano version of it and got obsessed)

"We heard some noises on the stairway, were you alone?" her mom asked first thing in the morning. The irony that her mom would actually approve of Charles maybe a little too enthusiastically was not lost on Y/N. "Yeah, alone. Bit tipsy, so sorry about that."

Our days and nights are perfumed with obsession

He stared silently. Monitoring actions of his girlfriend and having absolutely clear on the mind what to say to her. Part of him wanted to leave the premise immediately. Part of him wanted to scream out his confession. Part of him was astonished that she absolutely did not acknowledge his absence - did she not notice anything? He must have had Y/N scent all over him, punching through the quiet living room. He wanted her to say something. But she just grabbed her workout bag and casually got to the gym. Left him there, bewildered. He wanted to feel guilty, but the lack of emotion from her part was making a really hard thing to follow through. Was he just an asshole? Or someone who forgot to get out of a relationship at the right time and lived in a stale water?

His now fully developed brain decided to jump on the train to the past and he spent his entire morning checking his phone for a text - and not from his girlfriend. For a man who slept about an hour last night, he was surprisingly fresh and energized. Must have been the three orgasms. A lighting of excitement ran through him whenever he came back to those. And there it finally was, his catalysis for a guilt trip.

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush Drink up your movements, still I can't get enough

Mood swings were the one to rule Y/N's day. She felt like dancing around. Woke up to an empty bed, which was a shame, but it saved from potentially an awkward conversation, so maybe she actually appreciated the gesture. With a lazy day ahead of her, she could replay yesterday's night over and over all day. Rarely would the sun shine so brightly through her window. But - mood does swing. Even though he was the one to cheat, she was the one cursing herself over and over again. Not because she felt any sympathy for his girlfriend, on the contrary, the thought that this girl got to have, what Y/N only experienced for one night, anytime, was infuriating. Fuck any girl power bullshit, she was jealous and angry at herself for crumbling so easily. She had been happy, content, on the lookout for someone available to date for fun and maybe love. Not fucking with her old best friend only to develop a crush so massive her apartment felt small. Y/N was content yesterday morning. This morning, she was satisfied, and anything but content. And yet, she couldn't help but smile into her morning coffee, while trying to remain casual and normal in front of her family.

Blow all my friendships To sit in hell with you

"We need to break up," he found himself saying in the early afternoon. There was no plan from his side, no agenda about getting with Y/N or anything like that. He just had to get out of a relationship where he managed to be the cheater. The decision was suddenly so simple, just hard to execute. There were tears. Not his. Mutual understanding is the hardest thing to fake.

Y/N really tried to go about with her day, having lunch with the family, catching up and just generally free Sunday vibes. Only problem was that she was all over the place mentally - short attention span, distracted and having trouble keeping up with longer conversations. Head over in the clouds, fingers tapping nervously. In some ways, she couldn't wait to get back to he daily life in London filled with work and array of distractions. There was no hope for her in this town. Guilt and desire punching through her own integrity. It was in the late afternoon when disturbing messages appeared under Charles Leclerc tag on socials, which she monitored in every available moment. When she saw her own front door on one of the headline photos, that's when she lost it completely. Panic set in when she finally came to a photo that the two of them talking in front of the bar, with speculative headlines.

But we're the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre Down the back, but who cares? Still the Louvre

She sat in her room, tired, confused and lonely. Social media doomscroll it was then, trying to desperately ignore any photos of them. Her brain got stuck in a loop when she stumbled upon a slow piano cover of Mamma Mia. Not particularly her favorite song. But it spoke of everything she couldn't put a name on. Their joined history, the change of course, the inevitable return and the sudden urge to get it right this time. It was like being possessed. She had to act this time. At least let him know that she got it wrong the first time. She had loved him. The feeling was just so common in her life that she didn't recognize it only after it was gone.

Look at me now, will I ever learn I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control There's a fire within my soul

She had to see him and it had to be NOW. Powered by the lyrics praising delusion, she was not going to let it slip through her fingers this time. Not even sure his old number was still active, she called him, only to end up in a voicemail without any message. His private socials were deleted or replaced and she could't just walk over to his flat. His girlfriend would be there and the thought of it broke her heart. Was her current state of mind only make things explosive and worse for everyone?

There had been many times she'd let her chances pass her by.

So I made up my mind, it must come to an end

Only once she was standing before Charles's childhood home, ringing the bell, she realized that zero thought went to what she actually wanted to say to him. Fear hit her hard. Seconds turned into minutes and she realized that nobody was probably home. Heart sank low. What was there to do now? She had no idea where he to find him.

//

They'd walked together for hours. It felt so intoxicatingly refreshing after all those months of no contact. If one got lucky in life, they'd understand the type of connection that does not go away with time. But there was something different in the air that evening, as if their usual hang out spot, just above the town had a different vibe that day. She looked him in the eye and saw a look she's seen countless of times on his face. There was a shift in her mind and out of nowhere - what if the line got crossed? Would it be such an issue? She knew Charles would never make the first move. What if? Just to know how it feels. Curiosity got the better of her. This was not the first time she glanced at his lips, wondering what they tasted like. But she knew the feelings he might still have for her was something she could not respond to properly. The thought of hurting her best friend was stopping her from ever actually exploring this idea. But, what if? Just this one time.

Thousand of quick thoughts passed through her mind in that one moment - the last few seconds before they kissed for the first time. She was nervous, but it didn't show. Confidently put her hands on his chest, stepped on her toes and put her lips on his. If she was scared, he was borderline terrified. Never expected her to actually do it. Her warm lips touched his own, but he was still trying to process that her hands rested on his chest tenderly. Stiff and shocked seventeen year old boy stood like a rock, trying to catch up with what was just happening. Both of them have had their fair share of kisses and make outs with other people in their life, but this was one different. Somehow, it was harder to kiss someone who actually knew personal things about you. It was no romantic kiss, once Charles finally started to respond, both of them picked up quite a quick tempo and all of that was more close to a drunken teenage make out rather than an honest vulnerable kiss. And still, his soft lips felt really good, her tongue exploring his mouth was sending him to highs unexperienced before. Just as he started to relax and stopped fathoming what was happening, she pulled away. It was all too much, too real and scary for her unsure self. Afraid of loosing her fake confident mask, she had to stop before she lost herself in this. What even was this? She'd be leaving for university soon, so what was the point.

"Sorry," she said immediately and looked anywhere else but his eyes. Stepped back away from him in order to gain more socially acceptable distance. "I dunno, guess I hadn't kissed anyone in a while, so yeah... But this is wrong, sorry for that." There is heartbreak and then there is heartbreak. Charles felt betrayed, she didn't even give him a chance to kiss her properly. He wasn't ready, didn't expect it and now it felt like his one chance got slipped away from him. Once again, he stood there, frozen and processing. She couldn't stand silence. Scary thing to experience in a difficult situation. "I should not have crossed the line, we're really good friends and-" "No," he cut her off, not letting her play this game again. "That's not true and you know that. I never told you in person, which is a really coward move, but that's on me. But you know how I feel. That hasn't changed and I can't imagine it ever will." His words burned like hot sand. "You're right, yes," she replied quickly and wished she could just make herself invisible for a moment. This was all too much to handle. "And that's why I'm saying I'm sorry. I thought ignoring the subject would help you..." "Help me? Help in what, getting over you?" he had to laugh. Where did her delusion end? Was it truly endless? "I don't want that. Definitely not from you. I want you to open your eyes and give us a chance." One thing she couldn't stand was to be pressured to something and this was strongly resembling that. How could someone else try to say what she wanted when she herself wasn't sure?

"Charles, I can't. I need to leave this place and figure out who I am." "Why can't I be a part of that journey?" he said, broken once again. "We would only end up hurting each other and lose our friendship, can't you see that? I want you in my life permanently, so we can't date." "How does any of this make sense in you head," he replied bitterly. While she waved around these big concepts, the one intrusive thought he had was that she was just trying to avoid telling him, that he was just a bad kisser. Her gut was telling her to run away from this. How is one suppose to resist that? "Charles. This whole thing is a mistake. You don't love me and as much as I'd like to, I don't think I love you." The word think punched through Charles like a knife. She wasn't even sure of that... "Well that's it then," he said, knowing the last thing he wanted was to talk her into being with him and have her run to someone else at the first opportunity. He was trying to control the emotional cocktail mixing within him. Trying get his anger, disappointment and wonder lust in check. He tried to read her facial expressions, but the only thing he finally saw was a little girl running away from mature feelings. Suddenly, he understood. She wasn't ready and there was nothing for him to do with that. His job now was to work on his attachment to her, because relying on her was only blocking his own development.

"I think I should get going, big day tomorrow," he lied and waved awkwardly instead of their usual hug. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna stay here for a while, if you don't mind," she said and turned her attention to the stunning view on the mountains, sea and the city below them. To Charles, their favorite hang out spot was ruined. Forever the place where his worst kiss happened. His stomach turned at the thought of that and he knew he needed to get out of there and far away from her immediately. "See you when I see you," he said, walking away. She watched him, hoping the weight on her shoulders would disappear quickly. They didn't speak to each other for more than two years after that.

//

It was hard to believe, she only came to their favorite spot to reminisce about one of her greatest misjudgement and dwell in her sorrow. But, to her luck, he was already there, looking over at the sea as they had countless times together. Walking towards him felt like walking on a tightrope with the chance of falling down getting bigger with every step.

Mamma mia, here I go again My, my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again My, my, just how much I've missed you?

Charles didn't come there to meet up with her. His intention was to run away, to clear his thoughts, come to terms with the fact he had just cheated on someone. Take in the feeling Y/N made him burn with last night. Like some sort of breakthrough - this was they were all singing about. This is why people were able to drop their while life and follow love. It was an old and new love at the same. And that created a complete mess in his head. But when saw a figure coming his way, he knew immediately that she chose this place as well. Charles hadn't been at their spot since the time they first kissed here. Unlike Y/N, who came here anytime she was back in Monaco. She truly didn't expect him to be here - but took it as a sign that there was no way but forward for her. She walked towards him and sat on next to him, joining the view he was getting lost in. No words were shared for the first minute.

Y/N found out only after her university years that physical communication was her way of expressing feelings. Words were a little too messy and hard to put together. So she reached over to gently put her hand over his. She felt him shake a little, but he kept his hand below hers. Which she took as a good sign. Charles was the one to break the silence. "I hope you won't have much trouble online. There are pictures of us circling around," he said bluntly. "I have a very average face, I think I'm good." Charles laughed at her response. "As if." She really wanted not to ask. But the words just slipped out of her tongue. "Will your girlfriend mind?" And immediately after that, she wanted to shoot herself.

Charles took a deep breath. Then smiled bitterly, because what else was there to do. "Do you think so low of me that I could stay with someone once I'd cheated on them?" "Every couple goes through a crisis..." Charles chuckled again. "Have you ever been cheated on?" "Yes," she did not have to think twice about that. "But strangely enough, it was a relief when it finally happened." "See, so you understand." They sat in silence again. There was a feeling in the air like rain was coming. Neither of them moved. "Are you sad about it? Do you regret it?" She took Charles of guard. "Look at you, asking the big questions. What happened to you?" "Grew up, you know. You're not the only one. But don't get me wrong...it's still very hard. Talking." "I can see that," he replied, somewhat amused by her red cheeks. "To answer your important question," he highlighted, making her feel like a school girl passing a test, "I guess I regret the fact I wasn't honest enough to myself before something like that has happened." Y/N got a sudden influx of insecurity. Could it be that he was just unhappy in his relationship and it wasn't about the two of them? She pulled away a bit. Charles picked up on that. But this time, he couldn't put himself on the line first again. Not after what she said all those years ago. "Regret is the worst feeling. I think." "Why would you think?" "It's really hard to get rid of it. It lingers. Stays on." "Is there something you regret?" Somehow, he knew the answer before she did. "Of course. Everyone does." "You're avoiding again." "I know. I am perfectly aware of that." "At least something has changed."

The mood shifted and there was no way back. Charles was about to push like he had never done before. "Y/N. Why did you come here tonight. And be clear, blunt and honest or just leave now. It's been confusing enough even without you." She did not expect him to talk to openly. But she came searching for him, to do the leap, so it was actually appreciated. She started speaking, very slowly. "Um. I was looking for you. Wanted to say...not sure what exactly, but...I guess to let you know that I'd changed my mind. And I understand, you're somewhere else in your life now. But I need you to know." One very impatient Charles spoke when she took a break to breathe. "Know what?" "Charles, you keep interrupting me! Let me just...you know." He nodded in understanding, amused by her giddiness. "I just need to say...When were young, I never realized that the connection we have is special and rare. Stupid as I was, I thought it was just normal and common. And I don't regret not dating you back then. I had to take some time to grow up and understand more about the world. But now I do - and even if you've moved on, I feel like I'm just about to get on this train." He took in everything she said carefully. Tried not to get to ahead of himself.

"Did you ever think of me? Or it this just because last night." This time, it was she who smiled with a sad undertone. Did she ever think of him? Her? Had she spent nights and more nights wishing he'd call? Had she walked aimlessly around Monaco just to run into him? Did she compare every guy she shared a bed with to the times Charles made her feel like she was the only one on this planet that he could see? "One would say it's alarming how often I come back to the days we spent together. How hard it is to be so raw with someone in the same way as I was with you." Charles was slightly overwhelmed by her words. "Look, Charlie, I don't want to put any pressure on you. I had many chances and blew them all. I get it. Just want you to know that this was not a random encounter with an old friend for me." She'd been so focused on the right words coming out, that she missed the moment when Charles got close to her, so his kiss that followed was a surprise to her. Soft and sweet lips touched hers and it was like a release from prison. This time, it felt so right and safe. She didn't want him to end this. But once he inevitably did, fear came in like an unexpected summer storm. Would he be as cruel as she had been back then? Sharing a kiss with her while knowing that he was going to break her heart?

He took a breath in order to speak again. She stopped him with her finger. For just a minute, she wanted to keep this moment intact. To have this possibility of him still having a trace of the love he once had and she now bared as well. "Charles, I know what you're going to say. I can taste the words in your mouth. Please, don't." "So tell me, what am I going to say?" She sighed, slightly annoyed with him pushing her. "You're going to say that you'd moved on and this was just to have some fun. And you know what? Maybe it really is for the better, it was never-" "And this time, I am really going to stop you," he said, staring deeply into her eyes. "It's even harder now that we're adults. I understand that, understand the hardship my lifestyle can bring to the ones closest to me...My love for you never left. Yes, it's way less destructive and I've come to peace with it. But I am also not a scared boy anymore. Y/N, I would like to see you again and not as a friend. I don't think you ever were my friend. But you need to brave and honest too this time. Are you ready for that?" "I want to have all the hardest conversations with you, even if that's all we'd be doing," she laughed, taking in the fact he did not reject her. "I sincerely hope we'll be doing more than that," he said and joined her in easing the tension. "Is this really happening?" she whispered, as if it was a dream. "Yes, I believe it really is."

Mamma mia, here I go again My, my, how can I resist you?

---------------------------------------------------------

@linnmee @itsjustkhaos @rhythmstars @blueflorals @janeholt3

[starleska]

So what I get is that most fans are spreading rumors about clown being hacked or putting words in his mouth, and some are treating him like a child who needs to be protected at all cost (which is kinda creepy behavior). And this is happening because he made a NSFW tag, right? What a way to wake up to.

hello anon! yes, you've hit the nail on the head - i'm so sorry that this was what you woke up to! it certainly had my heart rate up for a bit 😭💖 here's the situation (apologies for the long post):

Clown has now made an official separate tag for NSFW content, #PlayfellowXXX. this is excellent! much like Toby Fox did with the #Undertail tag, NSFW fanworks creators now have a separate space to place their work, meaning that individuals who don't want to see that content don't need to.

Wally Darling and Frank Frankly Voice Actor F. Frankie Frankenstein confirmed that this was real, and a decision made by the Welcome Home team.

this was quickly corroborated by Clown, who said that they have not been hacked, and he just needed some time to adjust to all of the new attention. they also found the whole outcry quite funny!

after this, Welcome Home team member Anonymous Puzzler also said that this was a mutual decision between the team, and specifically said that it wasn't coerced in any way. she also confirmed that NSFW was never prohibited in the first place - it was just asked to be private while they worked everything out.

during this time, there were a variety of reactions from people. many were elated; some were confused; others were angry and/or upset. some believed Clown was hacked; others believed he was coerced; others acknowledged its veracity, but were saddened/angered all the same.

to recap: NSFW content has never been banned, according to the Welcome Home team: they just wanted time to work out the best way to protect younger people and those who don't want to see that kind of content in an enormous fandom. the team's preference is now for all Welcome Home NSFW content to go under the tag #PlayfellowXXX. this is a decision Clown and the team have reached organically, without coercion, and for the betterment of the fandom.

there is a significant portion of folks who are distressed by this news, and who are assigning thoughts and feelings onto Clown without knowing him personally. i don't think this is terribly healthy. it's okay if you don't like NSFW fanworks; having a separate tag means you can block/blacklist, and not have to see it!

personally, i think this is a wonderful idea. i'm saddened by the backlash NSFW creators are receiving in the wake of this news - especially as someone who received some of that hate, despite never having made NSFW content for Welcome Home!

i'm also baffled by the repeated assertion that Clown has somehow been coerced into this decision by 'porn-addicted weirdos'. the Welcome Home fandom has been extraordinarily respectful of the private NSFW rule...now, it's okay for people to make NSFW content for Welcome Home, guys. we literally got the green light 😅

the creator is an adult, the characters are adults, and it's a horror project which will deal with mature themes. this really is the best way the team could've handled this kind of project suddenly getting an enormous audience with a lot of younger people! no one is 'more deserving' of being in the fandom, and no one is 'better' than anyone else for making or not making a certain kind of fanwork. certainly, no one 'owns' a tag, character, or fandom - it is a courtesy to have a separate space so that people can avoid NSFW content if they want to.

at the end of the day, i hope those who are upset get a chance to rest, and realise this isn't the end of the world. i understand how hard this might be, especially if NSFW content is a real no-go for you. but everyone's fandom experience is different, and i promise you, the NSFW creators aren't making that content just to make you, personally, feel bad! 💖 if you see someone posting in the wrong tag, or who has outdated information, just politely let them know, or mute/block/scroll on as you need to.

now, i realise i'm breaking my own rule about not weighing in on discourse...but i have so many Welcome Home followers and wanted to make this easily accessible 🙏 i hope this clears up any questions people have.

to the NSFW creators - have fun! to those who'd rather not see NSFW content - take care of yourself! i hope you all have a wonderful day :3c

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for setting a boundary on a Minecraft server that I didn’t want to interact with one of the admins after he quit my partner’s dnd campaign?

I (20, nonbinary) was on a lgbtq+ discord and had become friends with a trans guy (henceforth referred to as A) who was a minor. This was easy to forget as he made raunchy jokes, got drunk and high on call, and I have horrible memory issues (so I often opt to just remember people’s names and topics I should avoid around them via making little notes.)

We would very often end up in a vc together with others from the server, including our respective partners, chilling, playing games, sharing fun things we found. (His partner will henceforth be referred to as B, and mine as C) (I had known his partner before from another server and was happy to see them getting along then eventually getting together)

(C especially would always give advice like “if you’re drinking, make sure to eat/get some carbs, drinking on an empty stomach is bad!” Because they love researching medical effects to make their writing and worldbuilding feel more realistic)

There were a handful of incidents where I believe I was the asshole

I loved showing off games and musicals to people, and this has the unfortunate effect of sometimes unintentionally saying words that anger people.

Incident 1) I was playing a game and mindlessly saying location names- and I got a dm- I pause to glance at it- and I got a message saying “hey remember [redacted] is A’s deadname and he’s uncomfortable that you keep saying it”. I pause, make a mental note of “but. It. Wasn’t directed at him?” Then continue playing, dodging saying the name for the rest of my time showing the game.

Incident 2) I was showing off a musical I like- and there’s a cute scene where a character suggests a name for another character, saying that they don’t need it anymore, and it just so happened to be A’s deadname again.

Incident 3) I was playing Sea of Thieves solo- and struggling. I’d been hit by lightning, and now was being attacked by a shark. A and B were making fun of the fact I had slipped into an accent out of sheer panic so I (enraged and not thinking at all) said “I’ll name the damn shark after you, fillet and gut it!” (A really likes sharks. I also like sharks but apparently not as much as him)

(I apologized for this on call later, saying that I was emotional and mad, and if I’d been thinking I wouldn’t have said that. I also apologized for the previous incident about the deadname)

A and B had also joined C’s dnd campaign alongside another one of our mutual friends, D (who did not leave the campaign, but that’s not important right now). I have reason to believe C told the others they couldn’t be either of the two classes I said my character thought they were, but I don’t know. Things went great (or so I thought) we got some plot trails (one connected to the race of my character, one being D’s character’s family) and everything seemed fine- A was flirting with a lot of the enemies and NPCS (C found the character arts via google images and unfortunately ‘attractive’ seems to be a main character design commonality)

Then one day, I woke up to check the campaign discord because of a ping and noticed both A and B had left the server and there was no new messages- confused, I hopped into call with C- who explained that A had dropped a long list of accusations about Myself and C, essentially insulting us and accusing us of things like ‘sending NSFW things to kids’, ‘acting like the victim’, ‘naming a character A’s deadname’, ‘DM favouritism’, and a whole bunch of other things. I was- shocked.

(A also apparently messaged D and said something like “sorry for ending the campaign like that, if you want to use your character you can always write with me!” And got angry when D said they didn’t leave the campaign.)

(C is also a generally sex-repulsed Asexual. They were forcing themself to become more comfortable with it because of A’s raunchy jokes)

This was followed by some harassment from A and B.

A tried publicly calling out C on social media (which C had only used to make a single post sharing something they had made for someone’s art/design) for “sending nsfw things to minors” and on another platform for “being a fake ass bitch”, as well as both of them heckling a new haircut I’d been nervous but excited to try and get for years and just figured out how to ask for (responses such as “omg no ew why would you do that”), as well as A saying “no I don’t” a picture I shared of C and I going to see a musical together with the caption “you wish you were here!” (All were shared and reacted to publicly on the discord server)

(To be fair about the haircut- the stylist had cut part of it a little too short and it made my face look especially chubby)

This is where I start to feel less like the asshole

So I went on the discord for the Minecraft server and said “hey, I don’t feel comfortable interacting with A after the allegations they’ve been making”. A immediately got defensive and angry about me saying “allegations” and kicked me from the discord before I could defend myself (and C).

I explained the situation to the admin of the server we’d met on, who also owned the Minecraft server, and apologized to them that they had to moderate. Both A and I lost our mod privileges on the discord, and I also found out A had been given multiple “cease and desist”s for… saying/sharing vulgar/nearly nsfw things on the discord before. And they did it again. The reason they were never banned or kicked was that the admin had made it in hopes that A would make friends.

Now. To a part that still horrifies me.

A legitimately found out C’s mom’s number, and called her to insist that C sent NSFW things to minors. (C suspects that they got it from a time C called the police out of genuine concern for A who hadn’t responded to any messages in around a day)

C also told me that the most they had sent A was like. Attractive anime guys from the first page of google images because C really liked big anime man chests. A apparently sent C full on p*rn once.

The problem is- I feel like I was the asshole- even though most of the “incidents” were accidents because I try to not remember someone’s deadname because- it’s? Not their name anymore? And it didn’t help that I genuinely do not remember being told it was their deadname until after incident 1.

Was I the Asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 21 - Shed]

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader x Jungkook

Warnings: this is carnal and raw thirst, Hard Dom!Yoongi, subbish!Reader, sub!Jungkook, this is monsterfucker smut jfadjsf because Yoongi is a whole fucking monster, he literally fucks her throat with his monster tongue (i will die on this hill), and he fucks Koo’s throat with his monster cock (another hill i will die on), he finally uses his strength on them, he pins her down, and holds Kook back from biting her, forced orgasms (OC & Koo receiving), multiple orgasms for all, blowjobs (Yoongi receiving), nipple play, sweaty!Yoongi who is a hardworking man, he is angry and they tell him to take it out on them, he does in a hot & consensual & monstrous kinda way, istfg i’m such a monsterfucker lmao help me, thighs, mutual masturbation between Koo & OC, he makes Kook fuck her doggy, Kook cums inside her multiple times, there is so much cum & spit & slick, creampies, squirting, cum eating, it’s nastayy besties, overstimulation (OC & Koo receiving), anal fingering (Koo receiving), spanking (OC receiving), choking (Koo receiving), degradation & praise (he calls them good girl/boy, but also pets & brats and babygirl/boy), sexy possessivness, bondage belts (she wears it), he straps a remote control vibrator to her so she has to cum whenever he wants her to, and fucks Kook’s ass to an orgasm, I’m so scared of him but in a horny way, i just love this trio

Wordcount: 13.4k

a/n: kitty wants cock, that’s all you gotta know

“___?”

You stir upon hearing your name, opening your eyes to Jungkook looking at you. At least you assume that he is. His features are behind a veil of darkness.

“Hm?”

“Yoongi is gone”, Jungkook is whispering, pulling his hand from your shoulder after having shook you awake softly.

“What?” you ask, sitting up slowly. You look around the attic, barely seeing anything.

“Yoongi’s missing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I woke up and he wasn’t here anymore. I think he left.”

“Do you think that he left to hurt Jimin?”

“I don’t know”, Jungkook sighs in defeat, “I seriously have no idea. What should we do?”

“Maybe we could look for him?”

“We could. I could go without you if you don’t want to get up.”

“No, I want to come with you. I can’t fall asleep again until I know that he is okay.”

The gaslamp flickers on. You blink to get used to the brightness, eyes locking with Jungkook a second later. His messy hair and puffy eyes let you know that he woke up recently as well.

“Should we go then?” he asks.

You nod your head, taking his hand so he can pull you to your feet.

You hurry downstairs together, calling out for Yoongi in whispers in order not to wake the rest of the house. You check your bedroom and Jungkook’s bedroom, but they are both empty. Jimin’s and Taehyung’s room is peaceful as you pass it, letting you know that Yoongi didn’t visit them. It reassured you.

“Where do you think he is?” you ask Jungkook after closing their bedroom door.

Jungkook begins sniffling loudly.

“I can smell him”, he says, “he was definitely here. I can smell his anger. It’s really strong.”

“Can you smell where he went to next?”

Jungkook sniffles.

“Downstairs. His scent’s leading that way”, he says and runs off.

You catch up with him once he is in the entry way downstairs.

“And?”

“He hurried through here. He wanted to flee from his feelings. I can smell it”, Jungkook says and hurries away as his nose guides him. 

You follow him in quick steps, looking at the ground obsessively in order not to trip over something. You run into Jungkook in the kitchen. 

“Sorry”, you gasp, holding his arm as you stumble back from the impact.

“You okay?” he asks mindlessly, busy with taking in the different scents. Food and potions. Their scents are potent and strong and cloud Jungkook’s senses. He flares his nostrils and inhales loudly. There it is. Yoongi’s upset smell. It burns in his nose and leaves him with a heavy lump in his throat. 

“Can you smell something?”

“He was here. He went outside, his scent’s on the door handle”, he says and hurries to where Yoongi left. 

You follow him, holding his arm.

“It’s remarkable how well your nose works. You could rival a dog.”

“It’s a blessing and a curse”, Jungkook says, holding the door open for you. He joins your side, inhaling deeply.

“And?”

“There’s too much going on. I can’t find him”, Jungkook says, covering his nose with his hand, “ah headache”, he hisses, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh no, Kookie”, you gasp, cupping his head to rub his temples, “are you okay?”

“No, I smelled too much. There’s so much going on. My head hurts”, he whines.

“No poor baby”, you whine, massaging him thoroughly, “does that help a little?”

“Yes, it feels good”, he says, leaning into your touch.

“Don’t overdo it, sweetie. I don’t want you to hurt”, you soothe him in a whisper.

“I know”, he sighs, “I’m sorry, I’m just so worried for him.”

“Me too”, you say, looking around the garden. It is empty and dark, except for one golden shimmer in the far back. You squint your eyes. Wait a minute. That’s where the shed is.

“Look”, you say, pointing at the shed, “the lights are on.”

Jungkook slips out of your touch, eyes following your line of sight and landing on the lit-up shed.

“It must be Yoongi.”

“Let’s check it out.”

You and Jungkook hold hands so you wouldn’t trip over something. Jungkook guides you, using his senses to scan the ground.

Loud hip hop music fills the air once you are close enough to the shed. It is aggressive and angry and a telltale sign that Yoongi was pissed. 

The door to the shed opens easily. You and Jungkook slip inside.

“My love?”

“Hyung?”

Yoongi is staring at you with a deep frown on his face and sweat running down his body. He is gripping a hammer, having used it before to shape a piece of glowing metal. The forge is burning next to him, filling the room with stinging heat. That would explain why Yoongi was sweating so much.

“What do you want?” he asks you in a growl.

“We were worried for you.”

“I’m okay, just don’t come too close.”

“Are you dangerous?” you ask him.

“No, but there are sparks. You’ll burn yourselves”, he says and lowers his head back to the anvil. He lifts the hammer, striking the glowing rod with remarkable strength. Sparks of hot metal fly everywhere, covering the concrete ground.

You and Jungkook exchange a look. Yoongi moves harsh and fast and uses just enough of his strength to let you know that he was using the forging as a catalyst for his feelings. He is punishing the metal. Punishing it for the sins of another.

“What are you making?” you ask him.

Yoongi finishes the piece and cools it down in a sturdy bucket of water. The liquid bubbles and hisses, filling the room with steam.

“Parts for the device”, he says dryly, “I couldn’t sleep”, he adds and turns his back to you as he busies himself with the forge. He takes out the piece he has been heating up and turns back to the anvil.

The first strike is loud, cutting through the music and making you flinch. Truly, Yoongi doesn’t hold back as he bends the metal to his will. Each hit strikes upon the earth in anger. 

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks him.

Yoongi glances at him.

“Do I look okay?” he is harsh in his tone.

“No.”

“No, of course I don’t. If I don’t beat the shit outta that stupid metal, I’d go on a murder spree instead. Fuck”, Yoongi slams the hammer down, making the metal sing in fearful surprise, “I’m so fucking angry”, he spits as he hits the metal repeatedly.

He straightens up, sticking the finished rod into the bucket of water. It sizzles and hisses. He looks at you and Jungkook.

“I haven’t felt that angry ever since the winter of 1989 when Namjoon killed someone very goddamn fucking dear to me and even that, ohoho”, he points at you and Jungkook, squinting his eyes in anger, “even that didn’t leave me nearly as murderous as what that piece of shit did to you.”

“I get that. I’m angry too”, Jungkook says to which you agree with a nod of your head. 

“And fucking Taehyung. What did he fucking do once he found out? He fucked you”, Yoongi spits and growls, slamming the hammer down so hard he actually puts a dent into the anvil, “how dare he fuck you and bite you and drain you when he should have fucking consoled you!” Yoongi spits, “he should have dried your tears and promised you protection, not control your mind into thinking you get off on being killed! Fuck!” He slams the hammer down and breaks it. It falls to the ground, almost crushing his foot if he hadn’t moved away quickly. 

Yoongi stares at it, then the broken handle between his fingers. It was a very sturdy hammer, normally unable to break in human hands.

“Shit”, he grumbles, turning to throw the piece of wood into the forge, “that’s the second hammer I break, fucking shit.”

Yoongi pokes the metal into the flames. You and Jungkook exchange a look. He tells you to try with a nod of his head.

“Can we help somehow?” you ask Yoongi.

“No”, Yoongi says as he takes a new hammer to shape the glowing rod of metal angrily.

You and Jungkook watch. You don’t really know what to do. You don’t want to leave him alone with his feelings, but you also have no idea how to help someone who is so goddamn angry. You never know how to help yourself whenever you are in such a situation, so how should you be able to figure out what to do for Yoongi. You just know that you don’t like it when he has to feel that way and Jungkook knows that he feels the same as you.

Yoongi lifts his head after a moment, lowering his hammer. He picks up the metal and puts it back into the flames. Afterwards he turns, taking off his gloves for now to run his hands through his soaked hair.

“You guys can’t help me”, he says, “you can go back to bed, I’ll just keep beating the shit outta stuff.”

You and Jungkook exchange a look. You don’t want to leave, neither does Jungkook. You nod your head, Jungkook answers you with a nod as well.

The two of you close the distance between Yoongi and you in big steps. The latter watches you with a frown and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“No, we can still help”, you say, reaching for his face.

Yoongi doesn’t move away, staying completely still as you wrap your fingers around his hair.

“Doesn’t that get annoying?” you ask him, rounding him so you can gather it in the back.

“Mhm”, Yoongi hums, tilting his head just the slightest bit to make it easier for you to tie his hair.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”, you promise him, working diligently to tie his sweaty hair into a bun. 

“It’s all in your eyes”, Jungkook says, lifting a tissue to Yoongi’s face. He clears the sweat off his cheeks first, eyes following the tissue while Yoongi is staring him down. 

“There you go, that should keep it outta your face”, you say now that you finished the hairstyle. You run your fingers through the hair you couldn’t get into the bun, scratching his scalp softly as you do. You don’t mind the sweat. On the contrary, it is somehow nice to you. Familiar and intimate. To be able to touch Yoongi in such a state feels intimate and nice, because you know that there are only a few people who have to privilege to do so.

Jungkook runs the tissue to Yoongi’s forehead, cleaning off the little pearls of sweat which have gathered above his eyebrows.

“It’ll burn if you get that in your eye”, Jungkook says quietly.

“Mhm”, Yoongi lets out, blinking slowly.

You run your hands to his shoulders, digging your thumb into his tense muscles. Yoongi tenses them even more.

“Relax”, you tell him, “you’re so tense.”

Yoongi tries to relax his shoulders, lowering his eyes as Jungkook runs his hands down his arms. He stops at his hands and picks up his left hand. 

“They must hurt”, Jungkook says, massaging it carefully. 

Yoongi hums, cocking his right eyebrow up. He is pissed that whatever you and Jungkook are doing is working. He feels better now that you and he are here. Yoongi felt murderous before you came, but he doesn’t anymore. Well, at least a little. 

You run your hands to his upper arms, rubbing them gently. Jungkook changes sides, now massaging Yoongi’s right hand. 

“Does that help?” you ask him, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of his neck. 

Yoongi tilts his head back, licking over his lips to stop the surprised gasp wanting to come out. 

“You feel a little less tense already, my love”, you whisper, taking his earlobe between your teeth to tug on it gently. 

Yoongi rolls his shoulders, tensing his jaw.

“I know what you’re trying to do”, he lulls lazily.

“Mhm, maybe”, you whisper, sending shivers down his spine with your gentle biting. He can barely keep his eyes open. It feels really fucking good to him.

“We’re not gonna have another gym situation”, he rasps.

“Why not? We could help.”

“No. No, the way I would fuck you guys right now wouldn’t be how I feel for you.”

“Then pretend as if we don’t matter to you.”

Yoongi rolls his shoulders.

“Pretend as if we’re just another one of your students. Like what we have means nothing to you”, you say and connect your lips with the shell of his ear, “pretend as if we’re nothing more than a distraction”, you rasp, running your fingers along his arms while Jungkook begins touching Yoongi’s waist. His muscles are hard and tense from the intense work he did before, flexing and rippling under your touches.

“I promise you, we’re amazing at being nothing more than little, unimportant distractions”, you whisper, ending it with a little moan in sync with Jungkook connecting his lips with Yoongi’s neck and pulling his hips flush against his’.

Yoongi stumbles into Jungkook with a huff of air, tilting his head to the side in an almost bored manner.

“Use us”, Jungkook begs in breathy rasps, “we’re so good at being stress toys. I promise that we can even make sounds if you want us to”, he says and moans cutely to strengthen his claim.

“You guys are playing a dangerous game”, Yoongi tries to sound unaffected, but there is a certain rasp lingering in his deep voice. It is heavy in arousal.

“We can handle it. Promise”, you assure him, letting your hands disappear inside his tanktop to rub his pecs instead. Just like his arms, they are hard and tense from working, flexing under your fingers. His skin is hot and wet. Wherever you touch, goosebumps form, letting you know just how affected he was. You touch his nipples.

“Don’t”, Yoongi gets out, placing his hands over yours without actually pulling them out of his shirt. On the contrary, somehow it feels as if he is making sure that you stay. Encouraged by his harsh grip, you try to move your fingers again, rolling and pinching his nipples carefully. They feel hard and swollen under your touch, the hot sweat makes the touch even easier.

“Guys seriously”, Yoongi says, voice breathier than before, “you shouldn’t do that.”

“Say the word and we’ll stop”, Jungkook says, licking his skin clean. Yoongi tastes so good. Exhausted from work, musky from anger and sweet from getting aroused. Jungkook hasn’t tasted something that addictive in ages. He licks and sucks on Yoongi’s neck greedily whilst his hands pull Yoongi’s hips against his stomach repeatedly. Jungkook loves how each time they are melted together, Yoongi’s cock seems to be harder than before. All the whining and complaining in the world won’t convince Jungkook to stop. He can feel just how into the distraction the Creator is. And Jungkook is hellbent on showing him how helpful he and you are.

As are you. You tug on Yoongi’s nipples, basking in the deep purr rumbling in his chest because of it.

“Do you wanna say it?” you make sure.

“One word and we’re gone”, Jungkook adds.

“No”, Yoongi says, “leave and you’ll fucking regret it.”

“Good”, you rasp and connect your lips with the other side of his neck. 

Yoongi lets out a breathy sigh, rolling his head back and parting his lips. You and Jungkook keep sucking and kissing and licking his neck and Yoongi feels charged in the hot sensations. He already feels weak-kneed whenever one of you worships his neck, so to feel both of you at the same time does things to him. Things like take his mind off his anger and make him feel electric. 

Your touches add another level of intensity to the whole situation. Yoongi’s nipples are incredibly sensitive, so to have you play with them at the same time as Jungkook grinds into him makes him dizzy in bliss. This is the best fucking distraction he could have wished for.

“You’re so hard”, Jungkook rasps and moans sweetly, “hyung, you’re so hard.”

“Mhm.”

“He is? Can I feel, my prince?”

“Mh-hm”, Yoongi allows you in a barely there hum. He tenses his thighs upon feeling your hand cup his cock. You rub it over the thick material of his jeans, moaning against his neck.

“You’re so hard, my love”, you whisper, pinching his nipple in sync with your hand squeezing his cock.

“I bet that hurts so much”, Jungkook adds, placing his hand over yours to rub his cock as well.

Yoongi reaches behind him, grabbing your hip to squeeze it tightly. 

“Don’t”, he rasps, chasing your hands. 

“Relax Yoongi love, we’re taking care of it”, you assure him in a whisper, massaging his nipple so good that Yoongi feels the sensations in his cock. 

He hates his jeans so fucking much. It hurts to be as constricted as he is. 

Jungkook wraps his fingers around his belt. Yoongi feels his breath hitch in reaction. Finally. 

Jungkook opens it quickly, letting it fall open. Next his buttons. You suck on Yoongi’s neck as Jungkook works, feeling up his tensed stomach and swollen nipples. 

Jungkook slips the jeans over Yoongi’s perky ass, working carefully to get his cock out without hurting him. Once he does, he pulls it down Yoongi’s legs, letting it pool just a little over his knees.

“Don’t do that”, Yoongi lulls, chasing nothing with a roll of his hips. 

“Mhhm Yoongi”, you purr, wrapping your arm around him as you let your right hand disappear in his briefs. You grip his cock and tug him out of them, jerking him off instantly.

Yoongi presses himself back into you, forcing you to stumble back. The worktable stops you from falling. Like this, you are sitting on it with just enough of your butt to feel comfortable while Yoongi is pressing back into you.

You hug him closer, eyes glued to his cock in your hand. It is so hard and veiny, looking almost dark red in angry desperation. It is so wet between your fingers. It’s making them glide over his heated girth very fucking easy. His black briefs sit at the base of it, slipping up his cock each time you reach his tip. Quite frankly, it is a little annoying as each time you want to reach his base, you have to push down the briefs as well. It forces your movements to stay slow and calculated.

Luckily for you, Jungkook notices the predicament soon. He hooks his fingers in Yoongi’s briefs and twists them until they rip. Jungkook repeats the motion on the other side, throwing the now ruined material onto the ground.

Yoongi, who watched him with a frown, lowers his eyes at him. Jungkook doesn’t feel affected by his scowl. He knows that this was just his way of pretending not to care when in reality his mind is going hazy from what you are doing to him. Jungkook can see that desperation deep in Yoongi’s half-lidded eyes.

Jungkook steps closer and lets his right hand disappear between Yoongi’s legs to massage his balls. Yoongi inhales deeply in time with his eyelids fluttering. Jungkook begins rubbing his hand back and forth between Yoongi’s legs, kneading and squeezing his tight balls.

And while Jungkook makes sure Yoongi’s balls get the attention they deserve, you finally shower his cock in the pleasure it deserves. Quick and harsh movements and with enough pressure to force his lower stomach to tense involuntarily.

“Is that what you wanted?” he lulls the question, trying to sound angry, “you’ve got me fucking hard. Are you happy now?”

“No”, you say, “no, you’re still way too tense. Relax Yoongi, relax”, you whisper, massaging his tip whilst Jungkook is jerking off his shaft and massaging his heavy balls.

Yoongi lets out a small moan. It was nothing more than an audible huff of air. You and Jungkook both know that he is holding back for pride reasons. If the situation was any different and he wouldn’t get off on the thought of having the two of you act as his distraction, Yoongi would be whining and moaning right now. After all, this is the first time you and Jungkook pay attention to his cock at the same time. Or to put it better, this is the first time where Yoongi is the one receiving your full and utter attention. You can only imagine how good he must feel right now.

“I can’t. I’m too fucking pissed.”

“We know”, you sigh, “but that’s what we’re here for. We’re making it all go away.”

“No, you’re making it worse”, he lulls as his eyelids fight gravity.

“Do we really? Mhm?” you coo, picking up his wet slick to spread it all over his heated tip. The movement is fast and you apply enough pressure to force his thighs to tense in an attempt to fight the trembles wanting to run through them.

He purrs deeply, forcing a smile to curl at your lips. Of course you aren’t making it worse.

“Relax, Yoongi love, relax”, you whisper, watching in delight as Jungkook falls to his knees before Yoongi.

You slow down your movements, holding Yoongi’s heavy cock so Jungkook has better access to him.

Yoongi looks down at Jungkook with a scowl, chest heaving up and down in quick pants.

“I can be your cocksleeve, hyung”, Jungkook says, sticking out his tongue.

You spank it with the help of Yoongi’s cock instantly, moaning softly as Jungkook mewls beneath you.

Yoongi watches with bated breath, clenching his jaw. His skin burns in sensitivity once Jungkook places his hands on his thighs. His cock throbs each time you spank it with Jungkook’s tongue.

“Mhm Yoongi, can Jungkook be your cocksleeve?” you rasp.

“Just get it over with”, Yoongi grumbles, holding his breath afterwards.

You and Jungkook exchange a look, knowing exactly what to do. Jungkook replaces your hand on Yoongi’s cock while you let your own disappear under Yoongi’s tanktop. You use your nails for it, punching up the material as you feel up his tensed stomach. Yoongi watches your hands just as he watches Jungkook, dark eyes flitting between those two views hungrily.

Your touch is greedy and rough. Exactly what he needs. He can’t deal with gentleness right now. It would piss him off. He needs to feel the anger he experiences in the touches you give him.

Jungkook is swirling his tongue over his cockhead. His tongue is wet and incredibly warm. Perhaps it even borders hot. Yoongi shouldn’t allow him to give so much head. It’s reckless, but what does he fucking care. He needs his cock sucked. He rarely feels that desire, so that means something.

Luckily for Jungkook – because Yoongi was this close to forcing Jungkook to his luck – he finally wraps his lips around Yoongi’s cock, sinking down on him as he flutters his lashes.

Yoongi leans back against you, head falling on your shoulder and hips chasing Jungkook’s mouth. Like this, you feel his weight against your thighs as he almost sits on your lap.

“There we go, now you’re relaxing”, you whisper and tighten your arms around him, pinching his nipples.

Yoongi purrs deeply in reaction, throbbing in Jungkook’s mouth. The latter moans deliciously, eyes filling with tears as the view of Yoongi falling into the pleasure overwhelms him. He is doing that to him. He is sucking him so good that Yoongi finally starts to relax. The desperate perfectionist in him wants to break away and beg for a praise, but the good boy in him knows how to behave. He needs to perform even better to get Yoongi truly lost.

Jungkook moans and relaxes his jaw so Yoongi’s veiny cock can glide down his throat easily. Tears well up in his eyes from the sensation, his body convulses in the desire to gag. He can’t let himself gag. He needs to be a good, little cocksleeve and fuck Yoongi’s cock. Jungkook squeezes Yoongi’s thighs for support and begins moving his head back and forth. It is hard, but he will do it for Yoongi.

“Fuck”, Yoongi lets out, closing his eyes in a sensual roll.

The word sits in the room and haunts all of you. Yoongi because he fucking hates to admit that what you and Jungkook are doing is actually working. You and Jungkook because listening to Yoongi lose himself to the pleasure, turns you on like nothing else.

“Relax my love, relax”, you whisper, “we’ve got everything under control.”

Jungkook moans in agreement, slipping his hand to Yoongi’s balls to fondle with them. Yoongi tenses his thighs, grinding into you as he squirms. 

You look down at Jungkook, feeling your tummy churn in arousal. His pink lips are moving around Yoongi’s cock, looking oh so cute around it. He had his eyes closed before, but as if he felt your gaze on him, he opens them. Tears roll down his cheeks, a high pitched moan rumbles in his chest. 

“You’re doing so good, Kookie”, you rasp. 

Jungkook mewls, tilting his head back to take in more of Yoongi. Your praise does that to him. He wants to be even better.

Yoongi grabs a bundle of Jungkook’s hair and growls deeply. 

You and Jungkook have to stop looking at each other. Yoongi’s reaction was too hot to keep looking at each other. You bury your face back in his neck, sucking hickeys on his skin. Jungkook closes his eyes and begins sucking his cock as best as the position allows him to. Like this, his cheeks fall in and Yoongi’s knees buckle.

“Fuck Kook”, he lulls. 

Jungkook mewls, rubbing his thighs together. He is doing that to Yoongi. His cock tastes so good in pleasure and he is the one fucking doing that to him. Jungkook seriously can’t believe his luck, slipping off of Yoongi for just a little to lick his tip instead. He needs to taste him. He is so yummy. 

Yoongi lets his head bounce to the front. He tangles his fingers in Jungkook’s long locks.

“Look at me”, he orders.

Jungkook opens his eyes, mewling around his tip as he rubs his thighs together needily. Yoongi twists his hair, tilting Jungkook’s head up.

“I want you to blink once if you want to keep this going. Blink twice if I can fuck your precious little face.”

Jungkook blinks at Yoongi.

Once.

Yoongi tightens his fingers in his hair, breathing heavily.

Twice.

“Fuck yes”, Yoongi growls, pushing himself off you to step closer to Jungkook. He grips more of his hair, forcing his head to tilt back into an almost unnatural position.

Jungkook mewls loudly, fingers gripping the back of Yoongi’s thighs before they dig into his flesh deeply in a desperate attempt to find support as Yoongi begins thrusting his cock into his mouth.

Jungkook gurgles and squeaks, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his jaw go slack.

“That’s it, relax. Keep it fucking relaxed”, Yoongi growls through gritted teeth, getting off on the tightness of Jungkook’s wet throat. He is chasing the sensation with angry rolls of his hips, fingers twisting Jungkook’s hair as both reward and punishment. If he wants to be his little cocksleeve then so fucking be it. Yoongi will show him what this gets him.

You watch the scene unfold with wobbly knees and a slight jealous sting in your chest. You want to be where Jungkook is right now. Kneeling in front of Yoongi whilst getting face fucked by cock. Oh how you envy the young vampire. What Yoongi is doing to him looks like so much fun.

“That’s my good boy, you feel so fucking good”, Yoongi grunts, forcing Jungkook to gurgle out a moan. He is squeezing his thighs together and quite frankly, you don’t blame him. You want to be at Jungkook’s place. His lips look so pretty moving around Yoongi’s cock, his throat is bulging each time he bottoms out. Fuck, you are drooling like crazy just watching the scene unfold. 

“This is so hot”, you murmur, hugging Yoongi to you. You rub your hand over his pecs, stimulating his nipples in the process. 

Yoongi seems to fuck Jungkook even harder because of it, moaning unapologetically loudly and twisting the younger vampire’s hair. 

“Fuck. Baby.”

Jungkook convulses and gags, spilling hot tears. It is hard to breathe when his throat gets fucked like that, but he doesn’t want to stop. His instincts are at an all time high. Every inch of his body tells him to bite down and rip Yoongi to shreds. Only getting face fucked that goddamn hard prevents him from losing control. Jungkook needs to be treated with such little respect because it’s the only thing keeping him sane. Maybe in a twisted, fucked up way being treated like that is the nicest thing Yoongi could do to him right now. 

“You’re the perfect fucking thing, Kook-ah”, Yoongi praises in a harsh voice, scrunching his nose in bliss. He rolls his hips and basks in his cock sliding down Jungkook’s throat. He is so tight and wet, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

Jungkook grips Yoongi’s ass and bruises it. Yoongi lets it happen even if the touch comes very close to what he feels uncomfortable with. He is sensitive at the most hidden spot and he doesn’t want you guys to find out that fact about him. Not tonight. It’s so embarrassing. The touch still feels good. Jungkook is so desperate. It gets Yoongi off.

“Such a pretty pet, you’re so fucking pretty”, Yoongi spits and swirls his hips as he is deep inside Jungkook. 

Jungkook mewls and squeezes Yoongi’s ass, gagging around his heavy cock. He gazes up at him and flutters his lashes, spilling new tears. His drool is dripping down his chin, hitting parts of his lap. His knees hurt a little. The concrete floor isn’t comfortable. Especially when he is only wearing boxer briefs. He squeaks, throat convulsing around Yoongi’s cock, and feels snot run from his nose. Messy. So goddamn messy. Jungkook mewls and whimpers.

“Need a break?” Yoongi asks, mistaking Jungkook’s noises as a call for help. Of course he does. He may be angry, but he is still highly awkward about receiving so much pleasure. Especially when he does it so roughly.

Jungkook whimpers and flutters his lashes, regretting it a second later when Yoongi pulls out as he confused the gesture as his safeword (it wasn’t, Jungkook wanted to be needy). Jungkook gasps, gagging around nothing now that his throat is tasked with breathing again. 

“Fuck”, he croaks, shuddering like crazy, “oh god, hyung”, he wants to be fed again.  It felt so good.

“I’m sorry”, Yoongi says, pressing himself against you, “I don’t…I, I don’t know why I…fuck, sorry.” 

There is regret in his voice. You hug him closer instantly, while Jungkook looks up with big eyes. 

“No don’t”, he says, grasping Yoongi’s shivering thighs, “you were amazing, I want to eat you”, he says and shows off his fangs, “I’m so hungry for you, hyungie.”

“Really?” Yoongi asks, gnawing on his lower lip. 

Jungkook nods his head vigorously, closing the distance between their bodies to connect his puffy lips with the underside of Yoongi’s cock. He holds it up with his hand, flicking his tongue over the swollen veins whilst gazing up at him.

Yoongi exhales shakily, relaxing in your arms as Jungkook’s warm tongue swirls over his cock. 

“Fuck”, he presses out, running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair just to twist it. 

“You’re so pretty, my love”, you whisper, placing your hand over Jungkook’s in hopes that he will understand. He does, allowing you to take over in massaging Yoongi’s tip while he busies himself with worshipping his heavy balls. 

Yoongi moans deeply, letting his eyes fall closed in a sensual roll. His cock throbs in your hand, covering your fingers in his slick. You pick it up and spread it in skilled movements up and down his heavy cock. It feels bigger in your hand than on normal days. You know that it’s because Yoongi allowed it to grow tonight. It feels exciting to know that he did. Yoongi only allows it to grow when he is really, really into what gets done to him. 

“Does that feel nice, my love?” you ask him. 

Yoongi nods his head, exhaling in a sigh. 

“Yeah? Mhhm that’s good to hear. You don’t have to apologise for enjoying yourself, my love. Kookie and I love to serve you.”

“Ah”, Yoongi lets out, arching his back. He stumbles, catching himself with Jungkook’s help. Interesting. Your words made him needy. Cute.

“Mh-hm it’s true, we love to touch you and taste you and fuck you”, you say, moaning softly.

“Ah-ah”, Yoongi chases your hand and presses Jungkook closer. 

“And you know why?” 

Yoongi shakes his head, breathing heavily. 

“Because we’re yours. All yours.”

“I’m close”, Yoongi confesses, allowing his voice to pitch just enough that he sounds utterly desperate. 

“Cum down my throat, please”, Jungkook begs and with your help, slides Yoongi’s throbbing cock back into his mouth. You massage his base while Jungkook suckles and licks on Yoongi’s reddened tip. 

“Kookie”, Yoongi gets out and whimpers, pursing his lips before parting them in a loud gasp. 

“You’re so pretty, my prince”, you whisper, kissing his neck in sync with pinching his nipple. 

“___”, Yoongi gasps and spills down Jungkook’s throat. He is moaning with his voice pitched and his thighs shaking like crazy. It’s amazing to witness. Yoongi could act all tough and uninterested, but when he finds his climax, his true state always shines through. You and Jungkook got him weak, it’s obvious in the way he is so goddamn loud as he orgasms. 

Yoongi comes down after five needy thrusts of his hips, pulling Jungkook off of him and feeling his knees buckle. 

“What the fuck”, he presses out in a croak, dropping his head to the front. He gasps for air, swatting your hand away from his nipples in an instinctive reaction to being too sensitive, “what the fuck.”

“Are you okay?” you ask him, rubbing his tense tummy. 

“No? Why would you do that to me?” 

“Why not?” Jungkook asks, “we wanna make you feel good.”

"Yeah, we do. It’s what you deserve for being so awesome”, you say, hugging him tightly, “mhhm Yoongi my love, you’re so pretty when you cum so hard.”

“You guys are fucking insane”, Yoongi whispers, running his fingers through his sweat soaked hair. It messes up the bun you made, strands of hair fall back into his face. 

Jungkook snickers, getting to his feet. He steps closer, touching Yoongi’s waist. 

“You liked it, didn’t you?” he asks. 

“Mhm yeah, you think I didn’t when I came that hard?”

“I mean, that’s not an indicator. With how sensitive your pretty cock is”, you tease. 

“Shut up”, Yoongi murmurs. 

“It’s because you never let us touch you, it makes you sensitive.”

“Tch, whatever.”

You snicker, pressing a big kiss to his shoulder. 

“I love you, Yoongi Boongie.”

“Mhm, me too.”

“I love you too”, Jungkook says. 

“Yeah, me too.”

You and Jungkook snicker while Yoongi is still trying to recover. He lifts his head to run his eyes over Jungkook’s glowing face. He reaches up, wiping away the remnants of cum from his chin. 

“You got dirty”, he says. 

“No, I didn’t”, Jungkook grins boyishly. 

Yoongi lowers his eyes shyly, nudging Jungkook’s chin softly. 

“You’re stupid”, he mumbles, scrunching his nose up, “fuck, you two.”

“Are you okay?” you ask him. 

Yoongi turns so he has both you and Jungkook on each side of him.

“Come here”, he orders.

You and Jungkook step closer and squeak. Yoongi swiped you off your feet and ran. It all happened too fast. Sometimes it’s impressive just how quick they can get from one place to the other. One second you were in the shed and now Yoongi is throwing you onto the mattress in the attic. The door is locked, the small lamp is casting deep shadows onto his face. He hovers above you, kneeling with his jeans bunching up under his cock.

“I’m dizzy”, you whine, writhing on the mattress.

“You’ll get over it”, Yoongi dismisses you and pins you into the sheets with a harsh grip.

“Wha-”

Yoongi kisses you. He silences you harshly and with his tongue exploring your mouth. His hands are keeping your hands pinned to the sheets, his knee is between your legs rubbing your hot cunt. You feel so dizzy and ruined, moaning into his mouth as your body falls willing victim to him.

“You drive me insane”, Yoongi growls between kisses, “you drive me fucking insane.”

He isn’t subtle in showing you that you do, moaning and groaning into the sloppy tongue kisses while his knee almost rubs you to a climax. Quite frankly, you think that he can actually make you cum. You are charged in desperation. You had to watch him face fuck Jungkook while you got nothing and now he is pinning you down and finally touching you. You are at the end of your strength. You want to cum just to feel something. No more watching, just feeling and shaking like crazy.

You try to break the kiss to let him know that you are close, but Yoongi doesn’t let you. He bites your lower lip to the point where you mewl in pained pleasure. It stings, but never tastes like blood. Yoongi doesn’t have to pierce your skin for you to feel like crying in blissful pain. His fingers tighten around your hands. It’s a warning to accept what he gives you. You aren’t supposed to fucking escape right now, to waste time with talking, to steal him of his right to kiss. You are supposed to stay put and let him have his feed. Because that’s what this is. You’re his fucking prey. Yoongi doesn’t need to bite you until he draws blood to feel satisfied, your sweet little moans are enough to fulfil him and you have to stay still and feed him. That’s your purpose. Feed him and cum.

“Mhm”, you squeak, opening your eyes in panic. Yoongi’s eyes are squeezed shut, his cheeks are covered in black veins. He deepens the kiss, gagging you with his tongue. You feel your eyes roll back and then you black out. Not really, but your brain stops thinking as he forces you over the edge.

You squirm and shake and Yoongi pins you down. He was aware that he would make you cum. Of course he was. He studied and observed your body well enough. He knows what every sound means, what every scent indicates and how your muscles spasm when it’s time. He knew what will happen and he made sure that it will happen sooner than fucking later. You moan around his tongue, fall silent for three seconds and then sob. Yoongi pins you down and presses his knee closer. More. He can taste that you don’t want it to stop. Even if you squirm and sob, he knows that you aren’t done.

His jeans are already soaked in your orgasm and yet he doesn’t seem to stop. You don’t know how to breathe and what sounds to make. He is so much stronger. It turns you on so much to finally know how little you could do against him if only he would allow it happen. To know that you can put your every trust in him because he won’t ever go too far makes you even weaker and yet at the same time you wiggle even harder just so he can pin you down with even more strength and just so he can shove his growing tongue even further down your throat.

You gag and sob. It may not be his cock gagging you, but you don’t feel the difference. You can’t function and it’s all the same to you. Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. That’s all your mind produces. Yoongi and whatever fucked up, amazing shit he does to you.

He slips out of your mouth. It covers your lower face in a sinful concoction of your salvias. You wheeze for air, arching your back desperately.

“You’re such a good girl”, he growls. His voice sounds changed. Not only from his long tongue, but also the animalistic hunger he feels for you.

You are aware that he is praising you, but you can’t really think. You are so far gone. You know that he lessened the pressure on your pussy and that you finally stopped spasming. You know that he finally gave you a chance to breathe and that your throat isn’t stuffed anymore. And you know that his fingers soften around your hands. You know, but you can’t quite take it in.

“Princess”, the nickname reaches your ringing ears in a whisper. He wasn’t whispering, but that’s how your brain takes it in, “princess hey.”

The pressure on your right hand stops, a warm palm engulfs your cheek. You know this touch. It feels like coming home and being safe.  

“Princess, my love.”

You open your eyes, meeting his soothing gaze. His cheeks are covered in black veins and his eyes are ruby and yet the love is imminent on his features.

“There you are”, he smiles, “now you’re with me again, good job.”

“Yoongi”, you whimper, feeling like shivering.

Yoongi wipes the tears from your cheek and kisses your forehead. You feel like crying because of how incredibly safe he makes you feel. You were so, so far gone in whatever madness he had you riding on before and now that you are back with him, taking a break, you need him to be gentle with you.

“I’m just checking in on you, yeah?” he speaks softly.

You nod your head.

“Are you having fun, my love?”

“Yeah”, you whisper.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah”, you giggle, nodding your head enthusiastically.

“Mhhm that’s good to hear”, Yoongi kisses the tip of your nose, “I’m not done with you yet. Is that okay for you?”

“Yes, it’s okay.”

“That’s my girl. You’re such a good girl, princess”, he praises and lifts his head to show you a soft smile.

You retort it, feeling like burning up all over your body. You are so happy!

Yoongi sits up and runs his hands down your torso, lingering on your hips. You part your legs for him. His eyes flit to your pussy and the wet panties sticking to your lips.

“Mhm”, he hums, ghosting his thumb over your pussy without ever touching you. It drives you insane not to feel his touch, “you got so wet, baby”, he taunts, circling his thumb on your clit without touching.

“Please”, you whisper.

His eyes flit up and glimmer. He retreats his thumb. You mewl and chase him. He smiles.

“Cute”, he says, looking away.

Jungkook, who had watched the entire scene with his hand around his cock, tenses up. He holds his breath, gawking at Yoongi with widened eyes. The latter purses his lips, running his eyes along Jungkook’s cock.

Jungkook pulled it out of his boxer briefs messily, forcing the material to punch up under his balls and make them appear even bigger than they are. His tattooed fingers are wrapped around the girthy base, translucent slick covers them.

“You touched yourself”, Yoongi says matter of factly.

Jungkook gulps and pulls his hand away from his cock. He is so hard that it keeps standing up.

“Sorry”, he whispers.

“That’s okay, I was just saying”, Yoongi still speaks with a sort of dryness in his voice. He looks back at you. You are staring at Jungkook with hungry eyes. Yoongi looks back at Jungkook, eyes lingering on his pretty cock, “come closer, Jungkook.”

Jungkook obeys, shimmying closer until your arms are touching.

“That’s it”, Yoongi praises and hooks his fingers in your panties and Jungkook’s briefs. He rips them off your bodies, eliciting gasps from you and him. You mewl, Jungkook whines and Yoongi merely sends you a nonchalant look. He grabs your wrist wordlessly and guides your hand to Jungkook’s cock.

“Get him off”, he orders.

You follow gladly, wrapping your hand around his cock and pumping him quickly.

“Fuck”, Jungkook moans, letting his eyes roll back, “holy fuck.”

“Good girl, keep that rhythm going”, Yoongi praises and takes Jungkook’s hand to guide it to your pussy, “touch her”, he orders.

Jungkook follows happily, connecting his fingers with your clit to rub it quickly.

“Oh god”, you mewl, tensing up in bliss.

“Good boy. You guys are doing such a good job. Try not to cum until I’m back”, Yoongi says and disappears.

You and Jungkook falter in your touches, lifting your heads.

“Did he just leave?” “Where did he go?”

You say at the same time, looking at each other.

“What happened?” you ask, holding his cock.

“I don’t know”, Jungkook answers you, cupping your pussy.

“I’m so confused.”

“Me too.”

“He told us to keep going.”

“Yeah right.”

You look at his lips. Jungkook looks at your lips.

“I’m so turned on”, Jungkook moans and finally moves his fingers again.

“Kook. Fuck”, you gasp, flinching in surprised bliss. His touch is eager and skilled. Your pussy is sensitive enough that you want to scream, “Jungkook…baby…” you moan and move your hand around his cock.

“Yes”, Jungkook drops his head and moans, chasing you with a harsh thrust, “fuck baby, you’re fucking incredible”

“Jungkook”, you moan, dropping your head as close to him as possible. You close your eyes and fall into the sensation.

This is as close to private sex the two of you have gotten and it’s making you dizzy. His touch is so good, being so close to him is even better. You don’t even mind that Yoongi disappeared. Having Jungkook touch you and to touch him in return feels like paradise.

“It feels so good”, Jungkook mewls, spilling all over your hand.

“Yeah…so good”, you agree in a moan. This is paradise. It really is.

A paradise which comes to an end as quickly as it started when strong fingers wrap themselves around your wrists. You and Jungkook open your eyes.

Yoongi is back, now kneeling on the mattress with his lower body free of his jeans and hungry desperation in his eyes.

“You’re done”, he says, pulling your hands away.

“No please.” “More please.” 

You and Jungkook beg at the same time.

“Tch, you’re so needy”, Yoongi murmurs.

“Yoongi, where were you?” you ask in a whine.

“We were worried”, Jungkook whines as well.

“I got stuff”, he answers you and lifts a bondage belt into your vision, “I want you to put this on, princess.”

“That’s so hot.”

“Mhm and then I’ll put this vibrator in the pocket in the front and control it with this remote. Is that okay for you?”

“Yes”, you mewl, parting your legs. Quite frankly, he could do whatever he wants to you.

“That’s my girl”, Yoongi praises and goes to work. He takes off your shirt first, leaving soft kisses on your tits as a reward for being so good for him. Afterwards, he helps you slip the belt on, making sure to work carefully. You are sighing and gasping, writhing on the sheets desperately.

Jungkook watches with an aching cock, moaning with you as Yoongi secures the straps on your body.

“What about me?” he asks with a pout.

“Patience, baby”, Yoongi promises him.

“It hurts.”

“I know baby, your cock hurts, but be patient.”

“But Master”, Jungkook rolls onto his tummy and touches Yoongi’s thigh, looking up at him with big puppy eyes, “I was so patient when you made ___ cum, I want a reward.”

“Are you being a bratty little pet right now, mhm?” Yoongi asks him without ever looking at him, still busying himself with closing the straps on your body.

“No”, Jungkook wiggles closer and takes Yoongi’s cock between his lips.

Yoongi sucks in air, furrowing his brows.

“Behave”, he warns with a slight tremble in his voice.

Jungkook hums a no and sinks down further on Yoongi’s cock, flicking his tongue over the swollen vein on the underside of it.

“You’re such a fucking brat”, Yoongi lulls, lowering his eyelids halfway, “fuck”, he presses out under his breath. And despite his clearly pleasure-drunken state, he keeps working hard to secure the belt on your body and to then stuff the vibrator in the allocated pocket. Jungkook is sucking on Yoongi’s heavy balls by now, massaging his wet cockhead with eager fingers.

“There we go, princess”, Yoongi tries his hardest to sound normal, “how are you feeling?”

“So horny”, you mewl, watching Jungkook with a racing heart.  

“Yeah?” Yoongi takes a sharp inhale of breath, wrapping his fingers around a bundle of Jungkook’s hair, “yah brat”, he tugs him away even if that makes Jungkook mewl, “try biting me again and I’ll gag you. Put those fangs away. Now.”

“Sorry Master”, Jungkook lulls and forces his fangs back into his gums, “done.”

“Show me.”

He opens his mouth so Yoongi can inspect him.

“That’s better”, Yoongi says and tugs Jungkook to his knees.

Jungkook follows with a mewl, gripping Yoongi’s thighs.

“I wanna be fucked”, Jungkook begs.

“I know, you can.”

“Really?”

Yoongi nods his head, looking at you.

“I want you guys to fuck and as you do, I get to play with your ass.”

“Holy fuck yes”, Jungkook moans, “yes please.”

“Princess?”

“Yes”, you mewl, “I’m so down.”

“Good”, Yoongi breaks away from you to give Jungkook space, “decide for yourselves how you want it.”

You and Jungkook exchange a look.

“How do you-”

“Doggy”, you interrupts him, getting on all fours, “give it to me doggy”, you say, lowering yourself to your elbows and arching your back.

“Oh god, this is so hot”, Jungkook mewls, placing his hands on your ass to caress you, “you’re so sexy, baby. So fucking sexy.”

“Slip in, baby”, you encourage him, wiggling your ass.

“You look so pretty, baby”, Jungkook rasps runs his cock through your folds, sending shivers down your spine, “wanna fuck you so good…”

“Don’t tease”, you order, pressing back into him. You can’t bear it. You’ve been fantasising about how it would feel to take Jungkook doggy ever since the first time you fucked. You are too desperate for the real feel to bear another second of teasing.

Luckily for you, Jungkook seems just as eager to slip inside as you. He presses his tip against your hole and pushes inside. No struggle. You are so wet and needy that he fills you out easily.

“God yes”, you groan, pushing back and forcing him to bottom out. Thick. Long. Veiny. Jungkook’s plugging you up so fucking good, making you twist the sheets between your fingers, “you’re so big…Kookie baby…” you moan, moving around his cock in smooth rolls of your hips.

Jungkook gasps and furrows his brows, darkened eyes glued to where your bodies meet and abs tensing like crazy. He doesn’t move, allowing you to fuck your pretty pussy how you need it.

“___”, he moans, widening his stance on the mattress. His thick thighs tense and flex in the position. Your ass hits them each time you force your pussy to take all of him. Jungkook can’t look away. The bondage belt hugs you right under your ass, forcing the flesh to push up and look so goddamn plumb and soft.

Jungkook takes it between his strong fingers and kneads it desperately. You clench around him in reaction.

“You’re so sexy”, he lulls in a deep voice, finally meeting your movements in rolls of his hips. He uses his abs and back muscles for them, drawing a happy moan out of you. "I love that ass of yours, baby."

You arch your back, presenting your pussy to him. His hands on your ass feel so fucking good. Now that he is moving too, his cock feels even better. He hits you right where it feels the best, sending electric pleasure through your veins.

"Mhhm love that pussy too. You’re so sexy" Jungkook rasps, eyes switching between your ass and well fucked pussy. 

“Don’t stop”, you beg, “you’re so fucking good.”

Jungkook chases you in a deep thrust, drawing his touch to your hips just so he can pull you back onto him by the bondage belt. Your moans get louder because of it and your pussy tighter. Jungkook feels so goddamn good. Not only because he fantasised about taking you doggy ever since he laid eyes on you, but also because he is doing such a good job that you are moaning and shivering just for him. If there is one thing that will always get off Jungkook, it’s doing a good job. To know that he makes you feel that good, fills him with so much pleasure that it’s hard to think straight.

He thrusts into you and draws another moan out of you. Your hips still, your back arches. You can’t move anymore. Jungkook got you so weak. All you can do is take him and moan as he does.

“That’s it baby”, he talks with a sultry rasp on his voice, “relax, I’m gonna take care of you. You don’t gotta work.”

“Fuck Kook, it’s so good”, you mewl.

“It’s so good”, Jungkook agrees, tensing up when he feels hands snake around his waist.

Yoongi presses his chest against Jungkook’s back and rests his chin on his shoulder, brushing his lips over his neck as he speaks.

“I could watch you guys fuck each other for hours”, he rasps and with one harsh tug, rips off Jungkook’s shirt.

“Hyung”, Jungkook gasps, feeling his hips falter.

“Don’t give up, keep fucking her”, Yoongi encourages him, rubbing his fingers over Jungkook’s little nipples.

Jungkook shivers and obeys with a throaty moan, throbbing deep inside you. His nipples are so sensitive. The touch makes him burn up. Jungkook twists the straps of the bondage belt and presses out a harsh curse, speeding up which results in your moans to pitch in pleasure. 

“Oh god, oh god, oh god”, you chant, burning up. The straps are digging into your flesh and Jungkook’s cock keeps you right on edge. He is so harsh and fast. His thighs hit your ass each time he fucks you deep. This is the best fuck ever.

“Fucking shit, yes”, Jungkook growls, furrowing his brows, “you’ve got the best pussy, baby. I fucking love to fuck your wet little cunt, fuck.”

“Jungkook”, you mewl, clenching around him, “Jungkook don’t stop, please.”

“That’s it, good job Kookie”, Yoongi praises and shifts his eyes to you. He presses the button on the remote control, basking in the harsh twitch you do and the squeaky moan that follows.

Your head drops into the sheets, your pussy throbs around Jungkook’s cock and your toes curl.

“Ohmyfuckinggod”, you keen, arching and relaxing your back repeatedly as your body trembles.

“So tight”, Jungkook mewls, rolling his head back, “oh god, I feel the vibrations too.”

“Please don’t stop”, you mewl.

And Yoongi is drinking all of it in with his eyes a deep ruby. He gets off on your pleasure. He gets off on watching you fuck, gets off on hearing you fuck and he gets off on making you shake. It gets him off as good as actual fucking does. He hasn’t felt such desperate hunger for people in centuries. He didn’t want to get off people in the past, at least he didn’t fantasise about it. You and Jungkook are different. All Yoongi wants is to know that you are well fucked and satisfied. Thoughts of how he could get you off next haunt his mind every waking second. Yoongi is so addicted to that feeling.

“I’m gonna cum”, you mewl, “I’m actually gonna cum.”

“Yeah? You wanna cum?”

“Please Yoongi”, you beg without needing to be asked, “wanna cum around Jungkook, please.”

“Fuck, don’t say that”, Jungkook mewls, throbbing inside you. He pulls you onto him harder, dimpling your flesh from the strong grip he has on the belt. His lips fall open, his head rolls against Yoongi’s shoulder, his eyes close. He is so far gone. All he can feel is your wet pussy, the vibrations of the toy and Yoongi playing with his nipples and hugging him. He uses his abs to move, rolling his hips into you as if he was dancing. Skilled and so goddamn smooth. Jungkook’s hips are made to move that way.

“You are such a good girl”, Yoongi rasps, eyes glued to your pussy and Jungkook’s wet cock. He can smell how close you are. It makes his cock throb like crazy, “say it again, princess”, he orders, lowering the vibrations just to tease you.

“Please”, you mewl, arcing your back, “please, I’m begging you.”

“Mhhm princess, you sound so sweet when you beg. Makes me wanna deny you for longer”, Yoongi lulls.

“Don’t please”, you start chasing Jungkook’s cock, whimpering loudly because you are so scared that he’ll turn off the toy completely. He is keeping you right on the edge and you think that if he actually turned it off again, your heart would shatter. You are charged in so much hot electricity and you don’t want to stop.

“Fuck, slow please”, Jungkook begs, gasping for air repeatedly afterwards. You both ignore him for the sake of your own pleasure. He is a big boy, he can take it.

“Look at you”, Yoongi says, “that’s my girl, fuck your pretty cunt. You look so sexy like this”, he praises and increases the vibrations.

“This is making me cum”, you mewl, twisting the sheets.

“Mhhm really?” Yoongi taunts, increasing it even more. Just by one level.

“Oh god”, you moan, “oh god, holy fuck, oh god soon.”

“I’m fucking begging you, don’t slow down”, Jungkook begs Yoongi, “that feels so good, holy fuck.”

Yoongi growls, spilling tears because he forgets about blinking. Your pussy is so wet and puffy and Jungkook’s cock is swollen. The view makes Yoongi’s head pound. He increases the vibrations on your clit, making you wail and Jungkook mewl in ecstatic pleasure.

“That’s it”, Yoongi pants, widening his eyes in crazed obsession, “you are gonna fucking cum for me.”

You give Yoongi what he wants with a moan of his name and your body trembling uncontrollably.

“It’s too much”, Jungkook sobs and follows you with impressive intensity.

Yoongi grasps Jungkook’s faltering hips and moves them for him, fucking the two of you through your orgasms to the point where both of you feel like ripping your own hair out.

“That’s it, cum for me”, Yoongi talks you through it, ruining Jungkook’s back by rubbing his wet cock all over him, “you’re so good for me, I fucking love it when you cum so good.”

“Oh god, Yoongi”, you keen.

“Hyung please”, Jungkook mewls.

You are both gone and done for. Yoongi is playing your bodies like they’re the easiest melodies, only slowing down once you both beg for a quick break.

He turns off the vibrator, letting go of Jungkook’s hips to allow him movement.

“Oh god”, Jungkook whines, riding out the afterglow with slow movements.

“So good, baby, so good”, you sigh, feeling lightheaded.

This isn’t the end. That much is sure for all of you. This is just a short breather, a chance to recover. You aren’t done, Jungkook isn’t done and Yoongi for sure isn’t done.

Jungkook squeaks and tenses up behind you. It alarms you just enough that you have to look at him to see if he was okay. He looks surprised, maybe even shocked. 

Yoongi is behind him, snaking his hand to Jungkook’s throat. 

“Relax”, he rasps, brushing his parted lips against Jungkook’s neck. His eyes land on you. Dark and sultry. The intensity of his gaze turns you on so fucking much, “relax, my lovely.”

Jungkook furrows his brows and pouts, letting out a desperate whimper. His cock twitches and throbs inside you, growing just enough that you have to look at his lower parts. You gulp, clenching around him. 

Yoongi has his hand between Jungkook’s legs. You can’t see a lot from the position, but what you can see looks as if he was massaging his hole. 

“Do you want to relax for me, Kookie?” Yoongi rasps. 

“Yes”, Jungkook sighs.

“Yeah? Do you want to be my good boy and relax enough that I can stuff you, mhm?”

“Yes, Master.”

“You’re such a good boy”, Yoongi praises and moves. 

“Ah!” Jungkook moans loudly, flinching in surprise. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets his jaw go slack. His cock throbs, filling you with hot excitement. You know what that means. Yoongi just stuffed him with his fingers, now pumping them in and out of him slowly. 

“Yoongi”, Jungkook moans. 

“Don’t stop, pet. Keep moving”, Yoongi rasps, using the strength in his hand to move Jungkook’s hips.

“Oh my god, Yoongi”, Jungkook moans loudly, dropping his head back on his shoulder. He is fucking his cock into you with Yoongi’s help, “why am, am I always the one getting everything d-done to?” he whines and squeezes your hips.

“Why? Can’t handle it, mhm?”

“N-no.”

“No? Want me to take it slower?”

“No….”

“No. See? You can handle it. You’re such a good little pet, Kook-ah”, Yoongi rasps, pinning you down with a look, “you deserve to be played with, baby.”

Jungkook shudders and keens, throbbing deep inside you. His hips stutter, his fingers dimple your hips. It feels good. You fucking love it when they grab you with strength. The desperation in the touch always sends tingles through you.

Moaning Jungkook’s name, you begin meeting his movements. You need more. His uncoordinated, little thrusts aren’t enough to fulfil you. You need it fast and deep.

“Good girl”, Yoongi praises you, showing you his lazy smirk, “fuck yourself on his cock, you’re such a good girl.”

“Yoongi”, you moan, dropping your head to the front. His praise gets you so weak. You want to fuck even better whenever you’re being his good girl. You chase Jungkook’s cock in fast movements of your needy hips, arching your back to really hit those deep parts inside you. Ever since Yoongi stuffed Jungkook’s hole, his cock feels so much bigger inside you. Bigger and covered in the stickiest and hottest slick. Jungkook is such a leaky boy whenever his ass gets played with and you fucking love to get stuffed with it.

“I’m cumming”, Jungkook announces in a breathless moan.

“Again? Already?” Yoongi taunts.

“I’m sorry! It’s so- ah! It’s so good!” 

“So sensitive”, Yoongi sounds uninterested, “do it”, he says dryly and curls his fingers. He tightens the grip on Jungkook’s neck, allowing his eyes to flit down to where your bodies meet. Jungkook’s abs are tensing and convulsing as his heavy balls relieve themselves in your puffy pussy. Your ass jiggles each time you meet him. Yoongi feels his cock throb at the view, “so pretty. That’s it, you’re so pretty.”

Jungkook moans loudly and desperately, you answer him with desperate squeaks and Yoongi soaks those sounds up like a fucking addict, eyes glued to where you fuck Jungkook’s throbbing cock stupid. His white cum spills out of you and covers your bodies, it even sticks to Jungkook’s dark pubes, driving Yoongi mad in hunger. He chases the tightness of Jungkook’s pulsating hole, torturing his sensitive prostate.

“Hurts”, Jungkook wails and begins squirming now that overstimulation kicks in, “please slow.”

You listen. You slow down. You regret doing it as Yoongi slips his hand from Jungkook’s throat to instead spank your ass.

“Ah!” you yelp, convulsing in burning pleasure.

“Who told you to slow down”, Yoongi barks, gripping your burning flesh to massage it roughly, “keep fucking yourself on his cock until I tell you to stop. Do you hear me, princess?”

“Yes”, you whimper, picking up speed.

“Not enough, say that you’re fucking sorry”, he spits, painting another spot of sensitivity onto your ass in a harsh and ruthless spank.

It burns and hurts and fills you with fucking electricity.

“I’m sorry!” you yelp, chasing his soothing touch.

Jungkook whimpers right with you, gripping your hips to the point where they bruise. Yoongi’s fingers feel massive in his poor, tight hole and your pussy feels like fire around his overstimulated cock. He is in so much pain and it feels like fucking paradise to him.

“Hurts”, he sobs quietly.

Yoongi growls and spanks you.

“Yoongi oh god”, you sob, scratching down the sheets.

“Say you’re sorry to Kookie for hurting his pretty cock”, he orders, spanking you harshly.

“I’m sorry”, you mewl.

“There we go. You are such a good girl”, Yoongi praises you, slipping his hand away from your ass to instead wrap it around Jungkook’s throat again, “now fuck your pretty little cunt like you mean it”, he spits and presses the button for the vibrator.

You scream. It was honest and you had no control over it. It happened. Being so creamed and fucked and stuffed with Jungkook’s huge cock is one thing, but having to bear the strong vibrations of the toy on your swollen clit is another. You silence yourself by burying your face in the mattress, convulsing and twitching without having any kind of control over it. You fuck yourself stupid. It’s like an instinct. Your hips keep moving even if you are shaking. Yoongi told you to fuck and you don’t want to disappoint. 

“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out and falls to the front.

Yoongi acts instinctively, wrapping his hand around Jungkook’s mouth and therefore preventing his fangs to pierce your skin.

“Stay with me, Kookie”, he rasps, burying another finger in Jungkook’s tight hole just so the younger vampire has something else to focus on, “I know you wanna get a taste, but I need you to concentrate on me instead.”

Jungkook’s quickened breath tickles Yoongis fingers, his drool covers his skin.

“Mhfmhyung”, his voice is muffled by the harsh grip Yoongi has on his mouth. He is crying. He is overwhelmed by everything. The fingers in his ass, your throbbing pussy around his cock, the hand on his mouth. He is going to cum again and he knows that Yoongi doesn’t give a fucking shit. He will let him cum, pump you full of his cream and he’ll stick another finger up his ass as if it was nothing.

“I’m cumming”, you beat him to it, twisting the sheets desperately as your body release all the tension in uncontrollable shakes.

The tightness of your pussy is enough to push Jungkook over the edge as well. He fights Yoongi instinctively, which results in the stronger Creator to force his head to tilt back until it borders painful. His mouth falls open against Jungkook’s will, two fingers press down on his tongue.

“Deep breaths Kookie, deep breaths”, Yoongi rasps, massaging his tongue because he knows that this helps, “you’re doing so well my babyboy, I’m so proud of you.”

And as he praises Jungkook and makes sure that he doesn’t lose control, he is keeping a cautious eye on you, lowering the vibrations on your clit to give you the best and warmest overstimulation.

“Yoo…kook”, their names becomes a jumble in your mouth. You have no idea who to call out for. Jungkook who is filling you up so perfectly or Yoongi who controls just how overstimulated you feel. They are both as important for the blissful paradise you find yourself in.

“You’re doing so, so well too my babygirl”, Yoongi praises, “we’re almost done, my babies, one more. I want one more from both of you.”

And with that, he replaces the fingers in Jungkook’s tight ass with his lubed up cock and increases the speed of the vibrator.

Jungkook’s moans are muffled by Yoongi’s harsh grip while your sobs are silenced by the mattress. Yoongi moves for the three of you, slamming his angry hips into Jungkook which forces the latter’s hips to slam into you harshly. Skin slaps against skin, wet squelching fills the room, the sounds leaving his pretty loves fill Yoongi with ecstatic pleasure. 

“One more my babies, one more. Don’t give up”, he pants, hugging Jungkook’s waist, “you’re doing so well, I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Jungkook cries, feeling close to passing out. This is the first time he gets fucked that way. In the past, he was too out of control to allow himself to feel that way. Knowing that Yoongi trusts him enough to comfortably let him get fucked that way makes Jungkook cry. It feels so good. It feels so fucking good. 

You sob, feeling close to losing control. This is so rough and hard. You don’t know what suddenly got into Jungkook for him to fuck that way, but you don’t want him to stop. This is like in the church. Animalistic, out of control and fucking addicting. You don’t want him to stop. You aren’t aware of the fact that Yoongi moves Jungkook’s hips and that all those harsh, deep thrusts are a result of Yoongi taking out his suffocating desperation on the both of you. 

“You’re mine”, he growls against Jungkook’s neck, “you’re fucking mine. Don’t you fucking forget, you’re mine.”

Yoongi thrusts into Jungkook so harshly the younger vampire screams behind his hand and collapses on top of you. You fall into the sheet on impact, turning your head to the side just in time so you wouldn’t get smothered under Jungkook’s weight. The only thing keeping Jungkook from burying his face in your neck is Yoongi’s iron grip on his mouth.  He needs it, thanking Yoongi for his help with squeaky sobs and his hole throbbing around his big cock.

“Mine”, Yoongi spits, “you’re fucking mine. Holy fuck, you’re mine.”

“Yoongi, I’m cumming”, you wail.

“I know princess, do it”, he encourages you, fucking you with the help of Jungkook’s hips. He doesn’t even need to be inside you and you feel just as ruined as you do when he fills you up.

You cry loudly, barely feeling human. This is changing your life. It really does. 

“Yoongi!”

“That’s it, cum for me, that’s it”, Yoongi encourages you.

“Mhhhmmg”, Jungkook chokes out, twisting the sheets.

“What was that Kookie?” Yoongi taunts. He sounds out of breath.

“Mhmhmg.”

“I can’t understand you, my lovely.”

“Mhmgm. Mh…megmh.”

Yoongi curses, slamming his hand on the mattress beside your face. His hips stutter. He curses again while Jungkook squeaks. You can feel what is happening. Yoongi ruthless fucking made Jungkook cum and now he is filling your squirting pussy with his creamy seed. 

“That’s it”, Yoongi groans and by the sound of his voice, he is pumping Jungkook full of his own orgasm.

You know that Jungkook can’t go again. You can’t go again either. Every inch of you hurts and your pussy feels sore. All you can take are the three angry thrusts Yoongi gives Jungkook to help him draw out his orgasm and then it gets too much. 

“I need a break”, you plead, “Yoongi, break please.”

“I’m done, princess. I’m already done”, he assures you, breaking away from you and tugging Jungkook with him. He turns off the vibrator, releasing you of the most amazing hell. 

His achingly hard cock flops out of Jungkook’s ass, Jungkook’s own cock slips out of your pussy. The two of you are leaking like crazy, covering the sheets in it. You a little more than Jungkook as the desperate vampire released three massive amounts of cumshots inside you. You hope that you will leak for days to come. It’s so hot to you.

“Oh god”, you croak, “holy fuck…”

“Soon princess”, Yoongi promises you, caressing your lower back, “I gotta get Kook back to us. Listen to me Kookie, I’m right here. You’re okay…I’m…”

His voice drowns out in your ears as you lose consciousness. You are so exhausted, you just want to fall asleep. This was the best thing ever.

Soft kisses pull you back to reality moments later. You open your eyes to Yoongi kissing your cheek. He pulls back and smiles. 

“Hey there”, he whispers.

“Hey”, you breathe.

“How’s my princess doing?”

“Good, but tired.”

“Yeah? I’m sorry my love, I was rough”, he says, running his fingers down your cheek, “are you in discomfort anywhere?”

“No, just tired and a little sore”, you giggle, “I got fucked so good”, you whisper cutely.

“Mhm yeah, I fucked you good”, he says and kisses the tip of your nose, “you did so well, my princess. I’m so proud of you.”

His praise makes you feel so happy. 

“I’ll start cleaning you up now, yeah?”

“Mhm okay.”

“Fall asleep if you want to, I’m right here. Kookie’s asleep too for now.”

You close your eyes and sigh contently. You feel so sleepy, maybe you’ll take him up on his offer and drift off into dreamland. 

The next time you open your eyes, you find yourself in an unknown bed. A beeswax candle illuminates the room, the sheets smell like laundry detergent and the mattress is the perfect firmness. Your body aches, but in a good way. The kind of way it always aches when you shared a really passionate night with Yoongi. The memory of what you did mere moments before makes your heart flutter. You roll your head to the side, expecting to see his resting body but meeting Jungkook’s instead. He is sleeping soundly on his tummy with his strong arm draped over your waist and his face buried halfway in the pillow. He looks as happy as you feel. He is shirtless and clean. As are you, except that you are wearing one of Yoongi’s button ups. He must have carried you to his bedroom, cleaned and dressed you when you were passed out. 

You wonder where he is now. He isn’t in bed with you and he clearly isn’t in the room with you, because he would have already talked to you if he were. Maybe he went back to working on the device. It makes you just a little upset if he did, because that means that he was still angry. Poor Yoongi. You really hope that he feels at least a little better and that he is merely downstairs to get something to drink. 

Speaking of drinking, you are terribly thirsty and the glass on the bedside table isn’t enough to satisfy you. You peel yourself out of Jungkook’s hug, making sure to tug him in so he wouldn’t be cold. He is snoring peacefully, looking happy. Then you tiptoe to the bathroom with the empty glass in hand, slowing down once you hear the water run. Is this where Yoongi went off to? 

You open the door cautiously. You were right. Yoongi is here. He is showering, having his back turned to you. He looks… You furrow your brows. He looks upset. Not in an angry kind of way, but a sad kind of way. He is slouching and his head is hanging low. 

“Yoongi?”

He flinches, turning around quickly. His entire stature lets you know that he was embarrassed about being caught in such a state.

“I’m sorry for barging in here like that, but you were gone when I woke up so I got worried. Are you okay?”

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted water, but then heard you shower so I wanted to check on you. Are you okay?” 

“Yes, just finished work and got dirty again.”

Yoongi turns off the water and steps out of the shower. He snatches a towel and begins drying himself. He looks nervous. As if you caught him in a private act and now he wants to flee.

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes”, he avoids eye contact. 

You place the glass aside and close the distance. Yoongi gawks at you, taking a step back. You reach for him and touch his waist. He tenses up. The towel is in his hands. He is naked and victim of your skinship and it fucking scares him because one touch is enough to crumble his composure again. 

You hug him. Tight, strong and adoringly. Your hands are on his back, your arms around his torso and your cheek is resting against his skin. Yoongi tenses up more, dropping the towel with a gasp.

“You smell nice”, you murmur, kissing his chest before nuzzling your cheek against it. He feels so warm in your hold. Warm and really, really soft.

Yoongi exhales and sinks into you, cradling you in his arms and burying his face in your neck. He makes a little sound. Relief and helplessness, you can hear both emotions in it. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him in a whisper.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know.”

“I’m here if you want to.”

Yoongi nods his head and places his hand on the back of your head just to pull you closer. His warmth melts with yours and creates a cocoon of comfort. For both of you. 

“You weren’t too rough if that’s what you’re worried about”, you say. 

“It’s not that.”

“Okay. What else?”

“I’ve become weak since I met you”, he whispers.

“What do you mean? No, you didn’t.”

“I did. I fought without thinking in the past. I killed whoever got in my way and pissed off whoever needed to be pissed off and I didn’t care who would come after me because of it. I acted reckless because I didn’t have anything to lose and I wasn’t scared. Not ever”, Yoongi pulls you closer, rubbing his nose against your neck, “now all I’m afraid of is losing you”, he confesses and shudders, “I’m so fucking scared all the time.”

“Yoongi, my love”, you whisper softly, “you won’t lose me, I’m here to stay.”

“You don’t know that. Death is so quick. It took everyone from me, over and over again. Why would it spare you?”

“Because I’m stubborn. You know me, I won’t go down without a fight.”

Yoongi laughs painfully. You chuckle. 

“You’re so stubborn”, he agrees. 

“Yeah I am and I plan on staying with you. Do you hear me, my love?”

He nods his head. 

“Good, that’s good.”

He runs his hand to the back of your neck, holding you close as he caresses you. 

“Please promise me to cherish yourself”, he says, “please don’t get hurt anymore. The image of you bleeding out won’t leave my mind, please don’t get hurt again. Not like this. Promise me.”

“Yoongi no, don’t think about that.”

“Promise me”, he insists with a soft squeeze of your waist. 

“I promise, I’ll cherish myself. But only if you do the same with yourself.”

“I will.”

“Good. You should, my precious love. Can I do something to make the memory easier? I hate to know that you still have to think of it.”

“Don’t get hurt again please.”

“I won’t. At least not willingly.”

“Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

“Of course, I would do anything for you.”

Yoongi lifts his head, looking into your eyes. He doesn’t look so burdened anymore, instead adoration gazes back at you. You cup his cheeks. He leans into the touch with his eyelids lowering in relaxation.

You study his pretty eyes, “you look happier, my love. Do you feel a little better?” you ask him, running your thumbs over his soft cheeks.

He nods his head, lowering his eyes shyly. He touches your wrists, draws little hearts on them only to turn his head and kiss the tender inside of your right wrist. He stubs you with his nose afterwards, cradling your hands in his’. 

“My most loved”, he whispers, closing his eyes, “what are you doing to me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You make me weak, but fuck, I’d be damned if I missed out on this feeling.”

“Oh.”

He looks into your eyes and smiles. He guides your hands to his chest, squeezing them softly as he places them where once his heartbeat raced. 

“Hm”, he hums happily, squeezing his eyes closed in a happy smile.

You giggle, lowering your gaze shyly. He makes your heart race like crazy. 

“Do you wanna come back to bed with me, Boongie?” you ask him

“Of course. You should get water first though, my princess.”

“I will and you should cuddle with me.”

Yoongi chuckles, nodding his head, “I will.”

You cuddle that night. And you take Jungkook into the cuddles as well. It felt like paradise. To all of you.

[xinupurin]

comfort.

———————(´-`」 ∠)—————————

wriothesley x reader warnings : angst ! wriothesley accidentally snaps ! regret ! cuddling ! kisses

| this fic is : sfw . not proofread . reader is gender neutral

| used petnames : darling . dear

Since Wriothesley works in his office all day, you felt as if this was the perfect time to visit him. He dearly loves you, there’s a mutual connection between you both lovebirds. You pack up some fruits to ensure that Wriothesley is eating no matter what—even if it’s just fruits, it’s better than nothing.

You made your way to his office with a smile on your face while holding a cute tupperware filled with peeled grapes, all peeled by your own hands. You could hear papers flipping when you opened the door, looking at him excitedly.

“Wrio!”

He looked up at you, a worn out face, but he still gave you a small smile before focusing back onto his work. You approached his table, putting down the tupperware. You even wrote a little note, leaving it inside the tupperware.

“Thank you, dear… I’m a little busy right now.”

Wriothesley smiled softly, not looking at you as he nodded in approval. You stood closely, looking at his work while gently rubbing small circles on his neck.

“Wrio, d’ya like green grapes better… or the purple ones?”

You gently asked him, hoping for his answer therefore you could pack his preferred fruits next time. Wriothesley seemed slightly distracted, he didn’t want to be distracted though he loved you dearly.

“I like both, whatever you choose.”

He gave you that sweet smile that you adore, finding your lips curving upwards as well. You pressed a soft peck onto his neck while watching him work. Wriothesley is calm and collected, there’s no way he’d ever get angry at you—or so you thought.

“Darling… I’m quite busy, could you please save those kisses for later on?”

He spoke softly yet a little sternly, still giving a small smile. Of course, you nodded in response, figuring that he was just trying to complete as much work as possible.

“Wrio, do you want me to make you some dinner? Oh! I was thinking about… hm, some pasta?”

You smiled at him softly, thinking about dinner as you listed down what ingredients you still had at home. That was quickly interrupted by a stern voice.

“My God—I said I’m busy! Can’t we talk about this later!?”

Wriothesley snapped, still not looking at you as his eyebrows furrowed and slamming his pen down. Your eyes widened, not expecting that kind of response as you felt your heart clench a bit.

“Oh… I’m sorry… I’ll just… go home, yeah?”

You quickly left his office, head overflowing with thoughts; did he get mad at you? As you left, Wriothesley realized what he did when you spoke in that tone, his head slightly dropped but he should just finish up his work first…

He got hungry pretty fast, opening the tupperware you packed for him as he looked at the note inside. ‘Make sure to eat properly, okay? These grapes aren’t going to fill you up. Love you.’ The note wrote. He felt an instant regret and guilt. Wriothesley knew he might’ve been too harsh with his tone on you, especially on his beloved.

You get home all tired, feeling a little guilty for bothering him. You wrap yourself in your blankets of your shared bed with your head clouded with thoughts. It was hard to brush it all off… knowing he’s angry at you. You felt especially bad… your heart squeezing around as you tried to fall asleep.

Wriothesley couldn’t even finish his work, seeing that note was enough for him to get up from his chair as he made his way back to your shared home. It wasn’t a short journey… nor was it a long journey but he wanted to ensure you comfort with his sweet words. As time went by, the bedroom door eventually opened. You still pretended to be asleep incase he’d argue with you when you woke up.

You felt a familiar big pair of hands wrap around you, his forehead against the back of your head as he softly spoke in a gently voice.

“I’m so sorry, dear… I didn’t mean to come out as harsh—I was just so frustrated with work. Please let me make it up to you… I’m so sorry.”

You let out a deep breath, feeling his lips on your neck. It’s like he knew you weren’t asleep. You weren’t sure what to say… nor did you know how to react but afterall, you did love him.

“Did you finish the grapes?”

That was what you asked—out of everything, you responded to him with that. His eyes widened softly as he gently kissed your nape, chuckling softly.

“Darling… I was harsh to you earlier and you’re worried whether I ate the grapes or not?”

Wriothesley chuckled as he snuggled closer, not letting you escape from his grasp. You put hardwork into peeling those damned grapes all for your dearest…

“How could I not? Those grapes took me so long to peel..!”

You smiled softly, feeling that you forgot about what happened earlier and brushing it off with a giggly conversation. He chuckled along with you, his cheek pressing up against yours.

“Okay, okay~ Still, I’m sorry for earlier…”

He worriedly spoke as he turned you around, pressing a peck onto your lips with a sneaky smile.

———————(´ཀ`」 ∠)—————————

A/N ：angst is not for the weak like me T_T but !! ive had this concept in my mind for awhile even though ive never wrote fics before cjfndjdndn i love wrio though

[arealphrooblem]

Mutually Assured Destruction Part 7

I'm on vacation so you get this one early! Some things are addressed in this chapter, some things will wait for later.

Synopsis: Villain x Civilian. Civilian can sense other people's powers through auras but hides this ability. They are terrified of the most boring person at their office job, who hides the most powerful aura Civilian has ever felt.

Part one Here

Part 6 Here

The apartment had no personal effects whatsoever. Even if Civilian’s brain was firing on all cylinders right now, they’d be hard pressed to find something that spoke to his personality. Of course, temporary safe houses didn’t need decoration. Still, it was unnerving, even in their current state.

Jonathan returned, holding a thermometer and a glass of water.

“Open up,” he said, the thermometer chirping as he turned it on.

Civilian took the thermometer and placed it under their tongue. Jonathan reached out with his hand and Civilian jerked violently back again. Which was ridiculous — Jonathan didn’t need to touch Civilian to hurt them. But they couldn’t help the sharp spike of panic.

“My apologies,” he murmured, a strange look on his face. “I’m just feeling your forehead.”

This time Civilian forced themselves to hold still as he cupped their forehead. The fingers felt so blessedly cool on their skin they then had to force themselves not to lean into it. The thermometer beeped and Jonathan whisked it from their mouth before they can see for themselves. His expression turned stony.

“102.3,” he said, holding the thermometer out like evidence in court. “What utter lunacy drove you to come to work today?”

“I . . .”

Words failed them in the face of his obvious irritation.

“Well?” he prompted. He looked almost like an angry mother and it would be funny if Civilian wasn’t so terrified of him, trapped in his space with no way out.

“I . . .didn’t know what you would do,” they swallowed, “if you . . .thought I ran away.”

The hard edge of his expression softened into something Civilian didn’t recognize. His gaze darted back down to the thermometer for a moment before setting it down on the coffee table.

“I’ll be right back,” he said quietly before disappearing again.

Even though Civilian had the use of their limbs back, they had no intention of going anywhere. In fact, they felt on the verge of passing out. Their whole body trembled and shivered, desperately cold. Jonathan’s footsteps creaked throughout the old wooden floors and soon he returned, hands full with a glass of water and a large bottle of fever reducer. A pile of blankets and pillows floated behind him.

“Drink that whole glass,” he said. “And take three of those pills.”

He watched with arms folded to ensure they obeyed. Not that he needed to. Civilian would do almost anything to feel relief right now. They took the pills and asked and drank down the glass in careful sips. When they finished, he proceeded to make the couch up as a bed around them. Then he gently guided Civilian into the soft nest of pillows and blankets with invisible hands.

“Sleep,” he said, not unkindly.

Civilian’s body gratefully slipped into oblivion.

When they woke again, the sky was dark and the room lit by a soft lamp. Jonathan sat in the armchair off to the side, reading, glasses perched on his nose. He didn’t notice them and Civilian took this opportunity to study him in the soft glow, as if his features could reveal the secrets behind his contradictory nature:

How he could save their life one moment and threaten it the next. How he used coercion and blackmail to treat them to carefully planned outings that enlivened Civilian’s previously dull life. How he stole their bodily autonomy just to take care of them in their illness.

They found no answers.

As if feeling the weight of their stare, Jonathan’s gaze flickered from his book to Civilian.

“You’re awake. It’s nearly nine PM,” he said, standing up and taking the empty glass from the coffee table. “Take your temperature. I’ll get you more water.”

Nothing this man did ever made any sense.

Civilian dutifully placed the thermometer in their mouth and pushed the button on. It chirped out just as Jonathan returned with their refilled glass.

“101.1,” they reported.

He nodded. “It’s going down. That’s good. Take more of that medicine. Are you hungry?”

They shook their head.

“I’m not surprised. Are you comfortable? Do you need more pillows, more blankets? Are you cold?”

Civilian stared at him in disbelief for a moment before shaking their head again. Several sarcastic retorts bubbled up in their throat and they swallowed them back down.

“I’ll be here if you need anything.”

A threat? A promise? Civilian was too tired to figure that one out.

When they awoke again, morning light streamed through the window and their hair stuck sweaty, to their forehead. Their mouth tasted like death yet for the first time in days they felt hungry. The living room was empty, but Civilian heard the sink running in the kitchen.

Groggily, they reached for the thermometer and took their temperature.

Jonathan peeked his head out from the kitchen doorway, attention caught by the beeping.

“Good morning. It's close to ten AM. What’s the verdict?”

“99.7” they said.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “Excellent. You’re improving rapidly. Would you like something to eat?”

Their stomach growled in answer.

“Message received,” said Jonathan,smirking now, before ducking back into the kitchen.

Several minutes later he returned with soup and toasted bread, setting them down carefully on the coffee table. Steam wafted up in the morning light.

“Careful,” he warned. “I just took it off the stove.”

The only time anyone ever cooked for Civilian was at a restaurant. They stared down at the soup and then back up to Jonathan. Now, out of the worst of their misery, the bafflement of this whole situation became too much to bear.

“What is this?” they demanded. “Why are you doing this? What is going on here?"

His eyebrows rose. “You don’t remember yesterday — when you showed up at work with a hundred and two degree fever?”

Civilian glared. “Yes, I remember yesterday, when you controlled my body like a puppet and practically kidnapped me. I also remember Saturday, when you nearly stopped my heart told me if I wasn’t properly afraid of you, you would kill me. Now you’re playing nursemaid and cooking me soup and I don’t understand just what the hell it is that you want from me.”

He gave them that strange, discomfited look again and now in the clear light of morning with their symptoms reduced, Civilian recognized it as guilt. No wonder they didn’t recognize it the first time; they didn’t think Jonathan was capable.

“I saved your life Saturday,” he pointed out. “I did so without even thinking. But everything that came after . . . was a mistake.”

“A mistake,” Civilian repeated slowly.

Jonathan grew quiet for a moment, his brow troubled, as if in the middle of a great internal argument. Then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Civilian: you terrify me as much as I terrify you.”

They almost snorted. “ . . .I don’t think you realize just how scared of you I am.”

“Oh, I know,” he said ruefully. “I can track the spike of your heart rate when you see me, how uneven your breathing becomes, the tremor in your hands. Just like the first time we met. But that had stopped for a while . . .until I ruined it.”

Civilian didn’t dare say anything. Already this conversation had veered sharply off course. Jonathan had never before revealed any of his inner thinking, his vulnerability. They sat in expecting silence while Jonathan searched in himself for the words.

“You’re not the only one trying not to pick sides, you know. A power like mine attracts ceaseless attention. I’ve dodged recruitment — voluntarily and forcible -- from either side since I was a teenager. I’ve given up everything at times to avoid it: my identity, my family, money, security . . .and its been successful. Until you.”

His eyes dart up to theirs, solemn and haunted.

“Until I met someone who I couldn’t hide from. I could slip away in a city of thirty million people and you could still find me. There’s no place in this world I could go to where you couldn’t sense me if you looked for me. If you ever gave up your own neutrality — voluntarily or otherwise — I would never have my freedom again.”

Civilian sat back, the guilt of that twisting ugly in their gut. “I . . .never thought about it like that,” they admitted.

Jonathan shook his head. “I didn’t want you to. The more ignorant you are the safer you are.”

“And that matters to you — my safety?”

“If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be here now, would you?”

In more ways than one if they took into account their near fall to their death.

“You are an innocent,”he continued. “Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. I may be entirely self-serving but I’m not so monstrous that I don’t recognize that. But these last few weeks it’s been easy to forget just how much of a threat you are to me. And when you spoke so cavalierly of my power . . .it was a terrifying reminder of how precarious my secret is with you. I was afraid. I lashed out. I regret it.”

He held their gaze, the truth stark and unshielded in his dark eyes.

“What is it that you want from me?” Civilian asked, more gently than the last time.

“I want to trust you but I don’t think I can bring myself to do so. Even still, I’m not going to hurt you. Your life is not in danger every second you’re around me. If everything remains as it was these last few weeks, you have no reason whatsoever to fear me. Just know that I would choose my freedom over your life if I had to. I hope I don’t have to.”

Jonathan could be lying his ass off, just like he did at work every day. But something in their gut told Civilian this was the real truth. And understanding it, finally, put them on an even playing field. Civilian held his life in their hands just as much as he held theirs.

It didn’t fix everything — this whole situation was a knife’s edge, with so many ways it could end badly for either of them and Civilian would rather not be involved in anything, period.

But it made it easier to bear. It gave them hope that they could both come out of this unscathed.

It made them feel, strangely, less alone.

Part 8 here

taglist: @those-damn-snippets, @heroes-villains-side-blog, @anonymousewrites, @follow-me-into-the-fog, @sunnyside-world, @rivalriotrenegade,@trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @villain-obsessed-word-nerd, @midnightsillusions, @deflated-bouncingball @pickleking8, @cesspitoflove @to-sneak-away-and-hide @im-a-wonderling, @hasel-anne @ghostly-writer, @moonknight-s-cumdump @valiantlytransparentwhispers @galactic-squiddo @boomimhere, @organizedchaos03 @dungeon-roomba @vidiaka

[demigod-shenanigans]

Love will run deep like hurt runs out

Summary: Jason is sick. Being an ex-praetor, champion of Juno, son of Jupiter, he’s pretty sure that isn’t allowed.

Leo is dealing with some residual limb pain. After roughly three and a half months of this nonsense, he’s forced to admit that that’s maybe a little more allowed than he’d like it to be. Not while he’s trying to take care of his sick boyfriend, though.

Word count: 10.5k

Rating: Teen and Up

Current last part of this little AU and also the only one of my currently completed valgrace/HoO fics I hadn’t cross-posted to tumblr yet! This part is the longest by a lot, lmao. Can be read separately of the other fics!

I used the valgrace week assurance prompt a while back to finally get myself to finish it, and I ended up having a lot of fun with this! Something something Jason and Leo are both terrible patients and massive hypocrites. Also something something couples mutually comforting each other. Truly ridiculous amounts of physical affection in this one, these boys are unbearable about each other actually and I love them so much.

Also, to avoid confusion: should be pretty clear where it happens since it’s marked differently from the other scene changes but the fic starts out as a Jason POV and switches to Leo partway through!

———

Jason woke up drenched and freezing in the middle of the night. This would have been surprising, at least sort of, considering Camp Half-Blood wasn’t supposed to have weather, but his father had been in a mood lately, so it was less of a surprise than he wished. He just hoped it was something the gods could figure out among themselves for once, and not a sign someone was about to be sent on another deadly mission with the world at stake.

There was a part of Jason that wanted to just turn around and go back to sleep, but he knew that wasn’t a feasible solution, no matter how much he liked sleeping in the grass at the edge of the woods when he was feeling anxious.

It had been a bad week, as far as nightmares went, but this had helped a little—had soothed a childish instinct in him that had learned to feel at home in the wilderness. One that had known once he’d proven himself to Lupa, the pack would protect him. He was safe.

He hoped he’d proven himself to Camp Half-Blood, after everything.

But he really couldn’t stay out here with the weather like this. He’d been feeling a little off for days, and he couldn’t afford to get sick right now. There were things to be done. The permanent housing they were trying to establish for adult demigods who wanted to stay at Camp Half-Blood long-term wasn’t going to build itself. So he shook himself awake and got up.

He was covered in mud, but with the amount it was raining, that would probably resolve itself by the time he got back to his cabin. Because he would have to go back there, even if being watched by a stern statue of his father as he struggled to fall asleep didn’t exactly help his anxiety.

He could have been running back to the cabin to get out of the rain faster, but with how drenched he already was, he figured it didn’t really matter. He was too groggy for a decent run, anyway, and he really didn’t need to slip in the wet grass and concuss himself again. With his luck, Leo had been right about the existence of an angry Roman god of head injuries.

Jason didn’t go back to his cabin. He didn’t register where he was heading until he was already there, wet clothes dripping all over the floor of the forge. 

It might have been the middle of the night, but Leo was still up, working on what Jason assumed to be a replacement part for Festus. There had been a lot of those lately, as Leo tried to figure out what was causing the misfire issues. He hadn’t been able to actually resolve them yet, but he was pretty enthusiastic about it, and Festus seemed thrilled with all the attention and Tabasco sauce he’d been getting.

Jason meant to say something when he entered, but Leo seemed so utterly absorbed in his work that for a moment, Jason was transfixed just watching his boyfriend’s practiced motions, hammering away on heated metal, changing the shape only slightly until he got it just right. 

Jason had seen the gods do impossible things before, but this—the way Leo could create anything he set his mind to, from small toys to replacement parts for giant metal dragons to a trireme they’d spent several weeks living in—was a different kind of magic, and one he’d never grow tired of watching. 

Leo turned to grab a tool off the workbench and noticed him. He yelped, almost jumping out of his chair.

“Gods, Jase, I thought you were a swamp monster for a second,” he said, eyes wide. “You can’t sneak up on me like that! What if I’d decided to blast fire first and ask questions later?”

“At least that might have dried my clothes?” Jason suggested, rubbing at his face. His throat felt weird when he spoke. His voice sounded a little off. “Sorry for sneaking up on you. Too tired to think.”

“Which brings me to my next set of questions: why are you up, and why are you drenched? Did you piss off the naiads or something?”

Leo had put the small hammer he’d been holding back on the workbench, and now Jason had his undivided attention. It was a completely stupid reaction in this particular context, but having Leo look at him like that still made his face feel hot. In the best possible way, undivided attention from Leo was something Jason would absolutely never get used to.

“I didn’t sleep great, so I got back up,” he said, not technically lying but not really telling the truth, either. He moved closer to Leo. The heat from the forge helped, but the shivering was far worse than he’d realized. He let himself sink to the floor, pressing his eyes closed for a moment. He felt off. “As for your second question: have you looked outside lately?”

The forge had been built to be partially open, which was the only reason most people were able to breathe in here, and also meant you had an excellent view of the ongoing rainstorm.

This should have made it impossible to miss, but Leo blinked, confused, like he’d only just realized what was going on outside.

“Oh shit, we’ve got weather.”

“Yeah.” Jason sighed. “My father is apparently having a bad time and decided everyone else also needs to have a bad time.”

“That sounds like him.” Leo shook his head. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Not surprised. You seemed really absorbed when I got here.” Jason shrugged. “Not like I’m any better. Pretty sure if a building collapsed around me while I was sketching, I wouldn‘t realize until one of the rafters hit me in the head.”

“Sparky, we talked about this. No tempting the head injury deities,” Leo joked, looking him over. “How did you get this muddy on a five minute walk?”

“I didn’t.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ve had a few bad nights. Sleeping outside helps.”

“And here I thought one of my foster siblings waking me with a wet washcloth to the face was a dick move. You got a whole storm.” Leo might still have been joking, but there was an anxious edge to it now. He kneeled down next to Jason and pressed a hand to his face, eyes wide with alarm. “You’re freezing. It’s mid-December, Jason. Were you trying to compete with Khione for icicle of the year?” 

His hand was so warm that Jason wanted to melt into him. 

The words “you’re hot” were out of his mouth before his brain could fully register what he was saying. 

Leo grinned. “Yeah, I know, but it’s nice to be appreciated. C’mere, let’s get you warmed up.”

He wrapped around Jason, everything but his prosthetic leg slowly growing warm in a controlled burst of heat. After a moment of this, Jason’s clothes began to feel more moist than soaked, and the cold that had been seeping into his bones subsided. He still didn’t feel great, but he could have stayed like this forever, warm and comfortable and safe in a way he rarely felt. In a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt around anyone but Leo.

He had no idea how to express that, though—not even when he wasn’t sleep deprived and his head wasn’t spinning. In the current situation, all his brain unhelpfully supplied was “radiator boyfriend. Neat.”

It was stupid, and not at all what he’d meant to say, but Leo was laughing, so maybe he’d done something right. The laugh was a noise and a feeling with the way Leo was holding him. Jason’s limbs felt like pudding, and he knew it wasn’t just because of the warmth.

“I know, I know, you’ve got so much to brag about.” Leo was beaming. He was gorgeous, and also significantly blurrier than he’d been a moment ago. “Now we’re both nice and muddy, but at least you’re dry.”

“Mm.” Dry or not, Jason didn’t want to let go yet. “Do I win?”

Leo blinked. “What?”

“The icicle thing,” Jason said, and his boyfriend’s expression shifted again. Leo’s eyebrows drew together in something that was probably concern. Jason wasn’t entirely sure—mostly because the image was still swimming. That… probably wasn’t good. 

“Yeah. Always. No competition.” Leo pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re really out of it, hm?”

“I feel weird,” Jason admitted reluctantly. “It’s probably nothing.”

This was made slightly less convincing by the fact that he finished this sentence off with a coughing fit.

“Yeah, you’re sick. Garbage combo with being sleep-deprived and getting drenched, in my experience. You need to be inside, in a bed, like, three days ago.”

“Is time travel something you’re working on?”

“Obviously. What, did you think I was kidding all those times I talked about wanting to go back in time to kick my own ass?” Leo joked, but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. He kept looking at Jason like he was an unstable machine about to fall to bits. “Do you think you can get up?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, trying and failing to push himself up on his elbows. His head hurt, and his limbs still felt like pudding. “Actually, maybe I need a moment.”

“That’s fine,” Leo said, with an expression that didn’t fit the statement even slightly. “I need to get everything shut down, anyway. Just don’t fall asleep on me here. I do not feel like draggingyou all the way inside.”

~~~

Jason felt more relieved than he cared to admit that by inside, Leo meant the Hephaestus cabin and not taking him back to the Zeus cabin he’d avoided sleeping in for the past few days. Partially because he really didn’t feel like being scrutinized by his father’s statue now any more than he had a few hours ago, and partially because even after the full fifteen minutes of break he’d gotten while Leo took care of things at the forge, he genuinely wasn’t sure he could have made it all the way there.

He was exhausted and dizzy, and it was obvious enough that Leo kept anxiously joking about handing over his crutches.

The rain had stopped just as abruptly as it had started, but the cold wind didn’t seem to be going anywhere. In his infinite, severely addled wisdom, Jason tried to get it to die down himself, but all that achieved was almost making him black out on the spot, and the wind just seemed to target him more viciously afterwards.

It was a fairly short walk, but by the time they got inside Jason felt like an icicle all over again, despite Leo’s attempts to stay close and radiate warmth the whole way.

Leo had a nice room—cluttered and cozy and without any looming statues of his father standing over him as he slept. The walls were plastered with blueprints, written-on and covered in sticky notes. There were several layers of them, and even the top layer ones were partially covering each other because Leo had run out of space. In a few spots, pictures of their friends poked out from under the rolled-up edges of blueprints or had been pinned neatly to those that weren’t currently in use. The bedside table was a mess of several unfinished projects, and it was kind of a miracle it hadn’t broken down under the weight yet.

Jason liked being here. It was one of the few places in camp that actually felt private. 

All the clutter had made him anxious at first. Even without his memories, he hadn’t been able to shake the Roman discipline that had been trained into him since early childhood.

But being around Leo meant chaos, and Jason had learned that was a good thing, more often than not. There was a kind of chaos that was terrifying, and there was a kind that made him feel alive, thrumming heartbeat and all. This kind of chaos was homey and lived-in and welcoming, in a way the Zeus cabin could never be. It didn’t feel like Jason had to carve out a space for himself here. It was already there—provided he didn’t mind accidentally sitting on a wrench every now and again.

The bed was small, which meant every time they had a movie night, they were squeezed tightly next to each other. Which, looking back on it, was maybe part of the reason they’d had so many of those even before they’d started dating. 

Right now, Jason was mostly just relieved to be sitting down. The world grew a little less hazy.

“You want tea or something to get warmed up? I’d offer you cocoa, but I don’t think there’s enough sugar at camp for the amount you usually put in there,” Leo teased, sitting down next to him.

Jason immediately melted back into him, wrapping his arms around Leo’s back and pressing his face to his boyfriend’s warm cheek. 

“Sure, or you could go ahead and leech all my warmth without asking,” Leo laughed, upping his body temperature a bit more. “Is this good? Anything else you need from me or am I fully replaceable by a portable heater?” 

“You’re perfect. I love you.” 

It felt impossible how easy that was to say, considering it was only the second time, and Jason hadn’t even said it out loud the first time.

Leo’s body temperature went up more, like a full body blush. Not that Jason was complaining.

“Flirting with a heater is a little weird, Superman,” Leo joked. “But hey, you didn’t even make any typos this time.”

“In my defense, I’m both dyslexic and suck at Morse code,” Jason laughed. He was pretty sure he was smiling like an idiot. He was also pretty sure he didn’t care. “Besides, you liked it.”

“You wish,” Leo replied, soft and fond. He shifted so he could wrap his warm arms around Jason again. “Love you, too.”

Leo had tapped out the words against the table at breakfast absent-mindedly a week and a half ago. Jason hadn’t understood what it meant, just that it was probably Morse code, and Leo had refused to tell him when asked, but he’d blushed so furiously that his head ended up on fire, which got the message across, anyway.

Jason had IMed Annabeth after and asked her to teach him, then practiced for three days because he really wanted to get it right.

He’d still managed to mess up at the end because he’d gotten nervous, spelling out “kof” instead of “you”, but he hadn’t had time to feel embarrassed about it. Leo had looked at him, wide-eyed, then beamed at him like he was the sun and kissed him, only stopping when he realized he was starting to burn a handprint into Jason’s shirt. 

Maybe it had been too soon by regular mortal standards—Jason never could figure those things out, it wasn’t like he’d ever had much of a shot at a normal life—but demigod lives were short and they’d both already had one brush with death. Some things just weren’t worth the risk of waiting.

“Sorry for dragging so much mud into your room, by the way,” Jason sighed, halfway muffled by Leo’s warm shoulder.

His boyfriend snorted. “Oh yeah, because we both know I’m infamous for my clean room and even cleaner clothes. I’m basically obligated to break up with you now.” He gestured at the general chaos of the room, then down at himself, covered in oil and soot where he hadn’t absorbed Jason’s dried mud. “Pretty sure we both need a shower, but you don’t look like you’re getting back up. I can at least steal you some clean clothes from one of my siblings, since unfortunately I do actually have to shower before bed.”

“That can't wait until tomorrow?” Jason asked, not wanting to let go.

Leo sighed. “I wish. There are some unfortunate downsides to getting your leg chewed off—yeah, I know, who’d’ve thought. One of them is that if I try to skip my evening routine or shower in the morning, my stump is going to be a whiny nightmare about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Turns out I can set the whole thing on fire and that’s fine, but sometimes I’ll have swelling issues over warm water—because that makes sense. It would be kind of funny if it wasn’t so annoying.”

“Trials and tribulations of being a demigod,” Jason replied, trying to keep the mood light, because even with his brain full of fog, he knew Leo, and knew he still got anxious talking about this. “We should really get our money back.”

Hell, Jason felt like a terrible boyfriend for all the things he didn’t know Leo had to do differently since he’d lost part of his leg, but the only tidbits of information Leo had volunteered were shared through jokes, and pushing him when he wasn’t ready wouldn’t have been fair orproductive, no matter how much Jason wanted to help.

“Yeah, tell me about it. But whatever. I’ll get the hang of it eventually.” Leo smiled at him. “I have to make sure you’re properly warmed up before I leave, though. You gonna be alright here on your own? Need me to tuck you in?” It was only half-teasing.

Jason just sighed and let his head drop back onto his boyfriend’s warm shoulder.

~~~

Jason missed Leo’s warmth immediately. He changed into the borrowed pajamas his boyfriend had tossed at him on his way out, which took way longer than he cared to admit. Then he curled up under the blanket. He was immediately hit with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, the heaviness in his limbs growing worse now that he was lying down. His head hurt.

He changed positions several times, pulling the blanket tighter around himself, but it didn’t really help.

He stared at the ceiling and tried to get his mind to stop racing. Despite how tired he was, sleep seemed impossible. Since getting back, it was like he’d been waiting for the next thing to go awry, keeping himself busy so he couldn’t think too much about whatever that next thing would be. At night, these thoughts were much harder to push away.

He should have been used to them by now, but he couldn’t deal with the nightmares, either. Lately, he’d had so many where all he could ever seem to do was watch. Watch as people got hurt and died around him during the battle of Mount Othrys. Watch Reyna fall several meters down the side of a mountain, unable to catch her because he couldn’t waste the opening she’d given him against Krios. Watch as a fight broke out between both Camps he called home, unable to stop it. Watch as they were nearly overrun by monsters because he wasn’t Roman enough for the undead legion to consider him a leader. Watch Leo turn himself into an inferno to stop Gaia, unsure if there would be anything left of him to revive.

Some hero he was.

Gaia was gone. Jason wasn’t having visions of terrible things that would happen in the future. But he didn’t feel calm or peaceful. He’d spent so much of his life fighting that he wasn’t sure he’d ever known what being at peace felt like.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Jason tried not to think, which was about as successful as one might expect.

By the time Leo got back, he’d worked himself into such an anxiety frenzy that when Leo flopped down on the bed, Jason accidentally gave him an electric shock.

“Ow! You don’t need to take the Sparky nickname so literally, you know.” The mattress moved next to Jason, and he briefly wondered if Leo had decided it wasn’t worth the risk of actually sharing the bed and was getting back up, but then his boyfriend’s hand was moving soothingly up and down his arm. “You good?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Still a little cold, but not sure what that was for.”

In another pointless attempt to get comfortable, Jason had moved to face the wall, so he was currently staring intently at blueprints for some sort of multi-functional weapon—a two-handed sword that could be transformed into a large shield, by the looks of it—instead of looking at Leo. It felt easier that way. If he’d been facing his boyfriend, Leo would probably be able to see how close he was to having a nervous breakdown, and then Jason would have to explain, and he didn’t want to explain. He didn’t want to make himself an even bigger burden than he already was. 

Jason was supposed to be a leader, for gods’ sake. He’d been in this life so much longer than anyone else he knew. He was supposed to be able to handle these things.

“Well, luckily for you, cold is something I’m an expert at fixing,” Leo announced, squeezing his shoulder. “Now scoot over, you’re hogging like three-quarters of my bed.”

It took Jason an embarrassing amount of effort to move. His limbs felt like they were made out of celestial bronze. Once he’d semi-successfully managed it, Leo wrapped around him, which made the effort more than worth it. 

Jason could feel himself trembling against his boyfriend’s warmth. He knew it was more than just the cold—his anxiety made him feel just about ready to vibrate out of his skin. But he closed his eyes and tried to focus on Leo’s breaths, the way his chest rose and fell against his back, and it helped him get a handle on his own breathing. That was good. He really didn’t want to give Leo another shock by accident.

“You sure you’re okay?” Leo asked quietly. He sounded worried. Jason hated making him worry.

He was going to reply, but instead he just burst into another coughing fit, which wasn’t quite the answer he’d wanted to give.

“Sorry. Stupid question.” Leo moved his arm away from Jason’s chest. “You want me to wake Will? Oh, or I could get Kayla. Her sleep schedule is pretty shitty. She might still be up.”

“How do you even know that?”

“Amputee privileges. I spend so much time in the infirmary that I get inside scoop.” Jason could hear the grin in his boyfriend’s voice. “So, you know, might as well abuse those privileges for your sake while I’m at it.”

“No, that’s okay.” Jason took the arm Leo had been moving and pulled it back to its previous spot. “I think I just want to sleep.”

“Fine.” Leo moved his head, adjusting it against the back of Jason’s neck. His curls tickled a little. “I’m warning you, though, if you get any worse, I’m contractually obligated to drag you to the infirmary. If you have an issue with that, that’s on you for not reading the boyfriend fine print.”

Jason snorted. “You’re terrible.”

“I live to annoy and be your personal heat lamp, in that order.” Leo squeezed Jason’s hand. “Speaking of, is this okay? I could go warmer, but you’re not as cold as earlier, and I should probably save some of my hotness for daytime hours.”

“It’s perfect.”

Sleep came impossibly easy, with Leo wrapped around him like this, radiating warmth. 

And even more impossibly, for once Jason didn’t dream.

~~~

Jason woke up feeling worse. His throat felt like someone had sandblasted it, his head hurt like hell and he was exhausted, despite having slept for most of the night.

Right. Nothing a little ambrosia couldn‘t fix.

He blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings in utter confusion. He was lying on his back. He distantly remembered waking at one point throughout the night to find Leo sprawled halfway across him, but the comforting weight was gone from his chest now.

The bed had folded back out of Leo’s tiny room into the bigger Hephaestus cabin, which was currently pretty much deserted, except for Leo and, for some reason, Will Solace, who was standing next to the bed with a breakfast tray.

“Huh?” Jason rubbed at his eyes, trying to make sense of the scene through the haze in his head. Light streamed in through the windows, much too bright for the early morning wake-up time Jason had rarely been able to shake due to his childhood at Camp Jupiter. “What time is it?”

His raw throat didn’t really like him speaking very much.

“You slept through breakfast. Not too surprising, considering you look about as alive as you did the time you got incinerated by Hera and you spent like half the night-” Leo paused, wincing when Jason burst into a coughing fit. He moved to sit next to him on the bed and pat his arm gently, which did absolutely nothing except feel kind of nice. “-doing exactly that.”

“Okay, but what’s with the food?” Jason asked once his body would let him, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Will, who was setting down the tray on the weirdly empty bedside table.

“I spent about an hour making a mess of Chiron’s kitchen to cook you something. Sick people privileges and stuff. If anyone asks about broken mugs in the next few days, play dumb.” Leo was clearly going for careless nonchalance, but Jason could hear a twinge of annoyance in his voice. “Crutches are seriously inconvenient sometimes.”

“I had to have a conversation with him about pushing himself beyond his recovery timeline and trying to carry things around without his crutches while we’re still working on his balance,” Will commented, glaring at Leo in the worried doctor way that all Apollo kids seemed to inherit. “Especially when it made sense for me to come along to check on you, anyway.”

“You okay?” Jason asked worriedly, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. Leo felt kind of cold, which would have been alarming, except Jason wasn’t sure how much of that was his own body being seriously out of whack.

“Nope, nice try, but I’m the one fussing over you right now. Speaking of-” Leo turned back to Will, whose expression had softened, “I’m shit at normal human body temperatures, being the fire guy and all, but I’m pretty sure he’s running a fever.”

“Yeah, I’m absolutely putting him on bed rest,” Will said, pressing a hand to Jason’s face.

Unlike Leo’s, Will’s hand was icy. Jason shivered and tried to pull away.

“Cold.”

“No, not even a little cold. Leo’s right about the fever,” Will concluded, thankfully removing his freezing hand from Jason’s face. “Flu. Nothing a few days of rest won’t fix, but I’ll get you something to help with the cough.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest—there were things to be done, he couldn’t just leave everyone else to do all the work, especially not for several days—but the only thing he managed was another lengthy, painful coughing fit.

“Hey look, even your body could tell you were about to say something stupid,” Leo teased, doing a terrible job of hiding the concern on his face. “You wanna try and at least drink something to make your throat feel a little less like shit? I get it if you're not hungry. I wasn’t sure what you’d feel like having, so I… may have gone a little overboard.”

He was seriously underselling it. He’d brought water and tea and orange juice. Food-wise, there was a plate of cut-up fruit, plain toast, scrambled eggs and some sort of soup that was still steaming and smelled great.

Jason’s throat went tight.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but just making food appear out of thin air felt like cheating, and I’m not gonna start half-assing the boyfriend thing already. I haven’t even had the job for that long. It’s too soon for me to start slacking off.”

“I’m not really hungry, but water sounds okay. The food looks amazing, though. I’ll eat something in a bit,” Jason promised, struggling to find the words to express just how grateful he was that Leo would do this for him. He moved to sit up. “It’s already pretty late, and I said I’d help with the roofing, so I should just take a bit of ambrosia and get on that. With how much it rained last night-”

The world tilted horribly, and if it hadn’t been for Leo reaching out to steady him, Jason was pretty sure he would’ve toppled sideways off the bed.

“Sometimes I know exactly why you’re friends with Nico.” Will may have been terribly blurry, but Jason could still tell he had one hand pressed to his forehead in annoyance. “Ambrosia is for missions and emergencies. You not wanting to let yourself rest is not an emergency. I can give you a bit to help manage the symptoms, but you still need to take a few days off and give your body a break. You’re exhausted. The ambrosia won’t fix that.”

“I can still do this,” Jason insisted, trying to fight the growing panic in his chest. He had to earn his place here. He had to contribute. He’d known since he was a young child that showing weakness was a mistake he couldn’t afford to make. “I need to do this.”

He moved towards the edge of the bed, vertigo be damned, and it took a tremendous effort to untangle himself from the blankets. For a moment he thought his glasses were fogging up at the edges—then he remembered he’d left his glasses in the Zeus cabin yesterday. The thing going foggy was his eyesight.

It didn’t matter. He needed to get up.

Before he could try, his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him from the side.

“Hey, Superman, that’s enough.” Leo didn’t sound like this a lot—strict and decisive and genuinely a little mad. It made Jason stop in his tracks. “Camp won’t fall apart if you don’t work yourself half to death for a few days. I’ve been dead, okay? It’s seriously overrated, trust me.”

“But-”

“Jase, look at me. Breathe. You’re okay.” Leo’s voice had softened. One arm was still wrapped around Jason. The other had moved up to his head, fingers combing through his damp hair. “Stop being an idiot and don’t force your amputee boyfriend to figure out how to scrape you off the floor after you inevitably faint and hit your head, yeah?”

Leo looked terribly worried, and Jason knew he was actively making it worse. It made him feel awful. 

After another moment of hesitation, he allowed himself to collapse against his boyfriend, exhausted and dizzy and with a horrible ache in his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Leo exhaled audibly into his hair.

“Yeah, I can’t believe you’d get sick on purpose just to make me worry. That was such a dick move, dude,” he said sarcastically, then pressed a kiss to Jason’s head. “Lie back down, please?”

A part of Jason was still protesting, but he felt incredibly off and it was impossible to tell Leo “no” when he looked at him like that.

He let himself sink back onto the mattress, which at least made the room stop spinning.

“Happy now?”

“Yeah, yeah, gold star for not being a complete dumbass.” Jason could hear the smile in his voice. “Do you want a sticker or something?”

“Can you just put your hand back in my hair? That felt really nice.”

“Still here by the way,” Will said awkwardly, and Jason could feel his cheeks growing even warmer because he actually had forgotten about Will. “Doesn’t look like I’m needed anymore, though. I’ll go grab some meds.” He turned to Leo. “Make sure Jason drinks enough water and gets some sleep and he should be fine.”

“Oh, I’ll pester him as much as necessary, don’t worry. You know how annoying I can get.” Leo grinned. “Thanks for the help.”

“If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

~~~

The bits of ambrosia Jason got still tasted like Leo’s tacos, and like Will had warned, they didn’t magically fix everything.

“If I give you any more, you’ll just try to help and hurt yourself, and then we’ll end up right back here.”

That seemed like a fair enough point, but Jason still didn’t like it. It was hard to convince his brain it was actually okay to let himself rest. When you’d learnt at two years old that showing weakness would get you killed, telling yourself it was fine and safe and nothing bad would happen to you in this specific instance and actually believing that was hard. Hell, his last stab wound had helpfully sorted itself out when he’d recklessly thrown himself into battle despite feeling like death. Keeping himself up and running was safe. This did not feel safe.

And sure, there was a protocol for handling illness and injuries at Camp Jupiter that usually included mandated rest periods. But when everyone looked up to you, expecting you to be the leader, it was hard to figure out where to draw the line. At which point was he objectively bad enough to neglect his duties?

As long as he could stand upright, it was probably fine. When he couldn’t, he’d just nibble on an ambrosia cube until he could. When that didn’t work, he was probably dead and no longer needed to worry about it.

Right now, he wasn’t dead or even dying, and so it didn't feel like a reasonable excuse to neglect his duties for something as stupid as staying in bed and doing nothing—even with Leo there to pester him and make jokes and offer him home-cooked meals that could be warmed up at a flick of his wrist.

It didn’t feel real to Jason that he was just allowed to have this.

If nothing else, since he’d taken the ambrosia he could at least sit up without feeling like he was about to topple off the bed, which meant Leo was currently pestering him into finishing his glass of water.

Jason was only half-listening, his mind continuously wandering back to all the things he should be doing instead of this.

“I can hear you thinking, Superman. It’s loud and very annoying.” Leo ruffled his hair. “Talk to me? We did say we’d give it a shot, but we’re both still kind of garbage at it.”

“I really feel like I should be up and helping,” Jason sighed. He was glad to be able to manage a full sentence without bursting into another coughing fit, but talking still hurt. “At least check on the temples to make sure nothing got damaged last night.”

“Nope. Wrong answer. Immediately disqualified.” Leo made a noise that was obviously supposed to resemble the sound of an incorrect buzzer on a quiz show, though it sounded like someone had kicked the poor buzzer down the stairs instead of pressing it. “The only thing you’re supposed to be doing right now is resting, and you’re doing a terrible job. You’ve basically been non-stop doing things since we finished dealing with Gaia. The temples, now this project… I know I’m one to talk, but you need a vacation or something.” Leo smirked. “I hear Greece is really nice this time of year.”

“Oh yeah, I’d love to spend all of our first vacation as a couple trying not to get killed.”

“You say that like trying not to get killed isn’t the foundation of this relationship,” Leo teased him. “But Greece or otherwise, you’re not talking yourself out of this vacation. Take it from the resident expert on running: you’ve got a tendency to keep yourself running when you shouldn’t, and you really need to stop.”

“Didn’t you tell me you were an expert at sticking around at one point?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I can’t believe you remember that,” Leo said, laughing, like it was absurd that that moment had meant enough to Jason for him to remember it. Like Jason hadn’t built his life around the fact that his mom had promised to come back and left him instead. Like Leo, who had been runningand running and running for most of his life, hadn’t seen the fear in his eyes and chosen to stay.

“Of course I remember,” Jason said softly.

Leo gulped, clearly emotional, but then he immediately shifted back into his joke default. 

“Damn it. Should have known you keep a folder of quotes to throw back at me at the right moment. You’re exactly the type of nerd who has folders on everything.” He shook his head. “To answer your question: I’ve got layers, babe. I have to keep you on your toes somehow.” 

“I thought the point of this was to get me to rest? Isn’t that the opposite of keeping me on my toes?”

“You’re lucky I like you as much as I do.” Leo rolled his eyes, but then he smiled at Jason. “I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was trying to be supportive and also full of shit. I’m getting better at the sticking around thing, though. You can blame yourself and Piper for that one. Fourteen year old Leo would be quaking in his boots.”

It was more sincere than Leo usually was, and Jason really did feel lucky.

“Fourteen year old me would also be pretty shocked if he could see me now,” Jason admitted quietly. “He never slept past six am. He was also never this happy.”

“Six am?” Leo’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Is that standard for Camp Jupiter? Gods, no wonder Reyna is always so cranky.”

Jason laughed, which rapidly dissolved into another coughing fit. Laughing was still out, then. That was really unfortunate considering his boyfriend was right there.

“I think you’d like Reyna if you gave her an actual shot. There’s a reason we were best friends for years.” Their relationship had never quite gone back to what it had been before the whole memory wipe kidnapping incident, but Jason was back to being friends with Reyna, and he was glad for that. “Are you still scared of her?”

“Not as much. Piper’s trying exposure therapy. The results are so-so, but at least I don’t think she wants to kill me anymore,” Leo joked. Then he shoved the half-full glass of water back into Jason’s face. “Speaking of ways to prevent death: I’m supposed to keep you from getting dehydrated. Bottoms up!”

Jason sighed, but his throat still hurt, even if it did feel a little less sandpapered than before, and the water helped.

What it didn’t help with was the exhaustion—this ridiculous, inconvenient feeling of wanting to just curl up against Leo and let himself go unconscious. He may have been significantly less dizzy, but he still went between random flashes of feeling too warm and too cold and sometimes both at once.

“It’s fine if you want to go back to sleep, you know,” Leo said like he’d read his mind—or, more likely, Jason’s bone-deep exhaustion was just written all over his face. He took the empty glass and placed it back down on the bedside table. “I may be terrible at going to bed at reasonable hours, and sleep gets a general 5/10 from me because of all the nightmares, but unfortunately, it is important, especially when you’re sick. I don’t mind just sitting with you for a while.”

“If you’re staying with me, we should at least do something together,” Jason protested. “This isn’t exactly fun for you. I don’t want to just sleep and waste a whole bunch of your time.”

“You’re overestimating your influence, Superman. I have ADHD. I can waste my own time just fine without your help.” Leo smiled down at him, running his hand through Jason’s hair again. Jason closed his eyes and leaned into the movement. “Besides, we both know I’m the fun one in this relationship. Your job is more, like, mother henning so I occasionally go to bed before two am and actually remember to eat lunch instead of just disappearing down the project void for three days.”

“Shut up,” Jason laughed, which rapidly turned into another coughing fit. Gods, usually he loved how much Leo made him laugh, but it was a little inconvenient right now.

“See? Clearly, I’m the fun one. Now stop being ridiculous and just go back to sleep.”

Jason wanted to protest again, but his thoughts were turning to mush. His head was on Leo’s lap, and Leo was so, so warm that anything coherent he tried to grasp at drifted away before he could form even half a sentence. That just felt like cheating on Leo’s part.

Being sick still didn’t feel safe to Jason. This whole situation of him letting himself rest didn’t feel safe or right or like something he should be allowed to do.

But he knew so instinctively that Leo would never let anything happen to him that it was hard to feel anything but safe with him. With Leo there, Jason always felt like everything was going to be alright.

————————————————————————

Leo was pretty sure he was failing as a boyfriend. 

The thing was, Leo was kind of garbage at taking care of people. He knew that wasn’t entirely his fault—no one had properly taken care of him when he was sick since he was eight years old, and just crawling under the bedsheets hoping his foster parents didn’t realize he was sick or finding himself a slightly less drafty bridge to sleep under weren’t exactly great precedents to base your care for someone else on.

But knowing that didn’t help. Jason was great with stuff like this. He knew how to calm Leo down when he was freaking out, made him cocoa in the middle of the night and had made sure Leo didn’t go stir-crazy when he’d been stuck in the infirmary for more than a week after the Gaia fight. That Leo was fucking terrible at it and he didn’t feel like he could properly help Jason in return made him feel like shit.

After his boyfriend had dozed off the night before, Leo had realized very quickly that he absolutely should have dragged him to the infirmary—or at least he should have broken in and stolen a few ambrosia cubes. Leo hadn’t really slept much. Jason had spent the whole night sweating and shivering against him, coughing so badly that Leo had been worried one of his lungs might come up, but he hadn’t been able to wake Jason when he tried, and physically hadn’t been able to leave the bed until sometime this morning. Every time he’d tried to pull his arm away from Jason’s chest, Jason had made a half-asleep whining noise and pulled it back, until eventually, he’d turned onto his back and wrapped fully around Leo, pinning him in place like a misbehaving pup. 

It would have been hilarious if it hadn’t been so inconvenient.

Austin had been the only Apollo cabin member up when Leo had gotten there, and Leo hadbothered him into checking on Jason, but Austin’s powers were more concentrated in the musical than the healing range. He’d mainly concluded that Jason wouldn’t die and advised Leo to let him sleep for a while longer and ask Will to check in later if it didn’t get better.

Leo had then proceeded to waste most of the morning trying to figure out how to cheer Jason up.

He’d gotten a whole bunch of unhelpful advice from his friends, both in-person and via Iris Message. Reyna had said she liked to be left alone, and had absolutely no advice to offer in regards to what Jason usually did or needed when he was sick. She actually couldn’t remember him ever being sick in all the time she’d known him, which said some concerning things about the amount of off time he usually allowed himself to take.

Piper had said her dad used to tell her stories to make her feel better when she’d been little, which would have been helpful if Jason had been five. She’d also confirmed Jason was a terrible patient, which, considering he’d tossed himself into the ocean with a life-threatening stab wound at one point, didn’t take a genius to figure out.

Because Piper was just like that, she’d pointed out that Leo wasn’t much better, which, while not technically untrue, wasn’t exactly helpful advice, either.

Annabeth had said she didn’t get sick, which Percy side-eyed her for, and then she’d admitted she just liked knowing someone was there. Doing what, exactly? Who knew.

Percy was the only one who’d said something Leo could actually use: that his mom usually cooked something he liked to cheer him up. 

Leo could do cooking. 

So, as per Austin’s expert advice, he’d let Jason sleep, and after breakfast, he’d gotten to work in the kitchen.

Leo liked being in the kitchen of the big house, usually. Cooking relaxed him.

But he hadn’t done a whole lot of it since he’d lost his leg, and navigating the kitchen with his crutches had turned out to be a bigger issue than he’d expected. Carrying things around was fine if they were in closed boxes or bags, but carrying a mug with liquid? Yeah, nope, not happening.

But, after some mishaps, he’d found workarounds. He’d gone completely overboard because he wasn’t sure what Jason would actually feel like eating. It wasn’t like he didn’t know some of the things Jason liked, but none of the ones that came to mind exactly screamed sick person comfort foods to Leo.

He’d made a cup of that terrible herbal tea Jason liked for some reason, and a whole bunch of small things like cut fruits and dry toast. Leo had even tried to recreate the chicken pozole he remembered his own mom had sometimes made when he wasn’t feeling well. The memory made his heart clench in his chest, but he felt like he had to at least try.

There hadn’t been any major disasters during the actual cooking process. The main problem came after, when Leo realized he hadn’t really thought through how he’d get the food back to the Hephaestus cabin. Carrying a tray with crutches was even less possible than carrying around mugs filled with liquid. 

So, well, Leo had chosen to just not use the crutches. He’d decided it was probably fine as long as he was careful. He could mostly walk around without crutches okay.

Admittedly, most of that walking had been without carrying anything heavy and with both Will and a wall readily available in case he needed to steady himself. And sure, they didn’t do these types of exercises for more than a few minutes at a time because Leo’s sense of balance was still shit. But he’d thought he could do this.

Will rushing up to him a few steps out of the building had been the only reason Leo and everything he was carrying hadn’t ended up all over the lawn.

“Leo, we talked about this,” Will had chided him, taking over carrying the tray.

He’d spent the whole walk to the cabin trying to talk Leo through recovery timelines, which Leo had tuned out after the second sentence.

Leo knew that stuff. He was painfully aware of the fact that it usually took over six months, sometimes up to a year, to be able to walk without crutches after an amputation. They’d talked through this in detail several times.

That didn’t mean he was thrilled about this fact.

Sure, Leo was making decent progress. And he was trying to be patient with himself.

But it had been months at this point, and he’d never been a particularly patient person, and that he was doing better didn’t mean he didn’t have days like today when he really wanted to hurl his crutches at a wall.

The other issue he was currently having was that his left leg hurt.

Leo was pretty sure he knew the cause of this—Will had told him he was supposed to regularly take the prosthesis off and check if the skin underneath was getting irritated, and also give his stump breaks throughout the day.

The thing was, Leo wasn’t great about this. Partially, this was because he got hyperfocused a lot when he was working on his little projects and he just forgot. Partially, this was also because he’d had two legs for sixteen years of his life, and even after three and a half months in this new situation, he still didn’t always remember that this wasn’t the case anymore. That part felt fucking idiotic, because most of the time he obviously did know and was unable to forget if he tried, but sometimes when he was especially sleep-deprived or intensely focused on something else, his brain just blocked out this particular part of reality. Having his prosthesis on when he worked late significantly reduced the risk of him trying to get up to fetch a tool and epically belly-flopping onto the floor of the forge in the process.

…okay, that one had been a one time occurrence and very early on, but still. Never again.

Nyssa and Jake hadn’t been weird about it—Nyssa had helped him sit up while Jake had gone to fetch Will, and both of them had the decency to never bring it up again. Leo still wanted to burn a hole into the floor from sheer embarrassment whenever he thought of it.

So, yeah, staying up as late as he had and keeping the prosthesis on the whole time, Leo was pretty sure he’d irritated the shit out of his stump, in ways his evening routine hadn’t been able to fix. Again. 

He should have probably gone to Will or Kayla about this. At the very least, he should have taken his prosthetic leg off and iced the painful spots a little. If it had been any other day, he probably would have.

He didn’t.

Instead, he let Jason nap on his lap for two hours, which surprisingly did not help his leg pain.

Leo should have been better about this, especially when Will had literally just given him a lecture about not pushing himself. But the only semi-useful thing Leo had managed to do so far was make Jason food, which Jason hadn’t even eaten because he wasn’t feeling well. 

So, yeah, fucking incredible work in the boyfriend department, Valdez.

The least he could do was let Jason sleep in a position he was obviously comfortable in, even if it was objectively only comfortable for one of them.

Aside from the pain, Leo didn’t really mind this situation very much. He spent an embarrassing amount of time just watching his boyfriend sleep like a complete weirdo. 

Despite the fact that Jason was still sweating and shivering under the blanket, and despite the fact that every time he coughed it was obvious that it hurt, he looked… almost peaceful. 

Jason wasn’t good at looking peaceful. Even asleep, it always seemed like he was one command away from jumping to his feet with his sword drawn. Almost was the closest he ever got.

And almost peaceful Jason was an image Leo really struggled to tear himself away from. It made him yearn for a future where maybe he’d get Jason all the way to actually peaceful, now that the end of the world wasn’t permanently hanging over their heads anymore. Leo imagined the machine shop he wanted, and getting to come home every night to a version of Jason that laughed easily and no longer remembered how to stand at attention.

Gods, Leo hadn’t even thought it possible to be this utterly gone for another person. A year ago, he hadn’t even thought he’d ever consider a place home again. Yet, here he was, just about a month into this relationship, thinking about living together. Talk about fucking u-hauling.

~~~

By the time Jason woke up, Leo had thankfully torn himself out of the kind of ridiculous fairytale futures that had always been reserved for other people and was fiddling with one of his little projects—an upgraded eye for Festus with a few extra sensors his current ones didn’t have.

Admittedly, Leo looking down at Jason might have been a slightly less disconcerting sight to wake up to than the giant metal eye that was currently staring down at him.

Jason yelped, and Leo was barely quick enough to move the large metal orb out of range before his boyfriend punched the spot of empty air where it had just been, nearly socking Leo on the jaw in the process.

“Whoa. Down, boy. No need to give me or Festus a black eye.” Leo dropped the eye on the floor next to the bed, then held his hands up defensively for extra effect. “This is mostly celestial bronze, anyway, so it’s not like you could do any real damage with your fists. It’s bad enough that you’re sick, we do not need to add broken fingers to the equation.”

Jason looked extremely startled. “Sorry. Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I thought- You okay?”

“You didn’t even actually hit me. Your uppercut needs work.” Leo gently flicked his boyfriend in the head. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I think.” This was followed immediately by another coughing fit. Leo raised an eyebrow. 

“You are the worst liar I know.” He ruffled Jason’s hair, since he seemed to really be enjoying that today. Note for future reference: sick Jason was like a dog that enjoyed getting petted. “You need anything?”

“Maybe water?” Jason shrugged. “I don’t know. Just if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Superman, I cooked for you for more than an hour this morning. I’ll survive a three second walk to the bathroom and back to fill up your cup.” Leo nudged him. “Besides, I’ve got a leg and a half that are super asleep right now. It’ll be nice to get up and stretch them for a bit.”

~~~

Despite this bold statement on Leo’s part, the short walk in question turned into a total disaster. 

Yeah, he could have made it to the bathroom and back without his crutches under most circumstances. He’d done that before.

But currently, his stupid stump was sore and hurt with every step and it turned out he could not manage.

He had to pause in the bathroom, the cup clenched in trembling fingers, which would have been embarrassing enough. But then it turned out he couldn’t make the way back at all.

The main issue wasn’t that the pain was so intense he couldn’t bear it—if it had been anything that serious, even Leo probably wouldn’t have been this much of a moron about it. The issue was that the fact that his steps stung kept throwing him off, and made Leo’s usually mediocre balance that Will had correctly pointed out they were still working on significantly worse.

Leo only made it about three quarters of the way back to his bed before he misstepped and fell, which was really just how this day was going. The main thoughts he had as he fell were annoyance and frustration directed at himself, as well as a distant relief that he’d had the presence of mind to take the plastic cup because at least that wouldn’t splinter.

Leo didn’t hit the floor. He was stopped mid-fall by first a strong gust of wind and then a pair of warm arms. 

Jason shouldn’t have been out of bed. He definitely shouldn’t have been using his powers. In the end, Jason’s immensely stupid rescue attempt just made them both crumple to the floor, right into the puddle of spilled water, though at a much slower speed than the one Leo had originally been going for.

“Are you okay?”

Leo wanted to say something funny, but he looked at his exhausted boyfriend who’d just wasted a bunch of his energy preventing him from getting hurt and just kind of started to cry. 

“Are you hurt? What’s wrong? Can I help?” Jason asked again, placing his hands on Leo’s shoulders. He sounded really alarmed, which just made Leo feel worse.

“I’m sorry I’m such garbage at this,” Leo sniffled. “You’re always so good with this stuff, but I can’t figure out how to help, and between my stupid crutches and my stupid leg hurting I can’t- I’m sorry I’ve been so useless.”

“Leo, what the hell are you talking about?” Jason looked something between concerned and seriously confused.

“I’m- my whole thing is that I know how to fix machines. But people? I don’t- I never know how to help when it comes to people. You’re not like Festus. I can’t just switch out your gears to make you feel better. I don’t know what I can do to make you feel better. What kind of awful boyfriend-”

“Stop.” Jason looked directly at him, eyes stormy. “You’ve been amazing. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I will not allow you to talk about yourself like this.”

“But-”

“No. Listen to me. If it wasn’t for you, I would have gone to help, and Will’s right, I probably would have ended up hurt. Most likely, I wouldn’t even have been upset about it, because that’s what I was raised to do. You said it yourself: I’m the prince of the universe. I’m supposed to take charge and get things done. It doesn’t matter if that doesn’t make me happy or if it isn’t good for me. That’s just who I have to be.” Jason’s voice cracked. “Everyone always expects me to be able to handle anything. But I’m not. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like it’s okay that I’m not.” 

“Oh,” was the only thing Leo could manage as Jason pulled him to his chest, holding him so gently that he could barely remember how to breathe.

And then they were both crying, adding to the stupid water puddle they were sitting in. They probably looked ridiculous. Leo didn’t care. Being wrapped in Jason’s arms like this immediately made him feel better.

“I can count the amount of times someone’s taken care of me on one hand, and that’s never involved another person sitting with me for hours and stroking my hair and cooking for me before. I almost burst into tears over a plate of cut fruit earlier,” Jason admitted quietly, gently nuzzling Leo’s neck. Gods, he still felt awfully warm. “But you don’t need to spend all day fussing, especially if you don’t feel great. It’s so nice to just have you here. I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just- all I ever wanted was for someone to stay.”

“Oh,” Leo repeated intelligently, his own voice cracking too. Damn it, that meant he’d have to tell Annabeth he should have taken her advice. She’d never let him live that down. “I can do that. I can stay.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason sniffled. “But I don’t want you hurting yourself to help me, okay?”

“Says the guy who just almost made himself faint trying to catch me,” Leo commented, grimacing. “I hate to say it, but Piper was right when she said sometimes we’re the exact same brand of idiot. Let’s both try to work on that, yeah?”

Jason sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

This left them with the issue of how to get back off the floor.

~~~

In the end, Piper rescued them, appearing out of thin air like Leo had fucking summoned her the second he’d admitted she was right.

She collected both of them off the floor, went to get Will, and also brought some of the self-refilling cups from lunch, which… yeah, Leo really should have thought of that. 

“You seem to have food covered for now,” she said, gesturing towards the tray of still untouched breakfast items on the bedside table.

Whether he liked it or not, Leo got his second Will Solace lecture of the day, this time with strict orders to rest and let his stump breathe for a while. He didn’t mind that too much—he’d felt absolutely zero desire to put the prosthesis back on since he’d finally taken it off.

Besides, being put on bed rest with Jason really wasn’t much of a punishment, aside from the fact that even sick, Jason still wouldn’t stop with his stupid mother henning.

“You literally said that was part of my boyfriend job description like three hours ago. You do not get to complain about it now,” Jason teased him, shoving Leo’s cup and another piece of toast in his direction.

Yeah, Leo really needed to find that folder of inconvenient quotes that could be used against him and burn it.

Jason was still garbage at letting himself rest, but it seemed to be easier for him now that he felt like he was doing something helpful—even if that something helpful was just bothering his boyfriend. Leo would have to write that down for future reference.

They shared the food Leo had made, and they talked. Jason told him why he’d been so anxious while Leo petted his head and offered to fist-fight Rachel the next time she tried to speak a prophecy. Leo finally went into some of his post-amputation problems, including but not limited to his occasional desire to hurl his crutches at the wall.

“Will probably has some old broken crutches you could actually throw. If you think that’d help, I’m sure he’d let you.”

“I’ll ask, but I’ll definitely tell him it was your idea.” Leo chuckled. “If Will keeps having to put up with us I think he’s gonna need a vacation too.”

“Maybe someone should tell him to just take a couple of days off with his boyfriend. This is actually really nice.” Jason didn’t kiss him, because he was a buzzkill and refused to get him sick, but he looked at Leo with such unbridled fondness that it was clear he wanted to. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“If you’re trying to quote Star Wars to me, you’re doing it wrong,” Leo joked, putting his head on Jason’s shoulder. “But yeah, I do know that. Love you, too.”

And well, spending the next few days like this, sharing meals and curled up next to each other watching movies and taking naps didn’t sound so bad, even if it did require Leo to be a little more honest about how he was feeling than usual.

He still wasn’t convinced they were lucky enough to have any kind of fairytale future, but currently the present wasn’t looking half bad.

———————

Some notes:

-Title is from Time by Gretta Ray. Shoutout to my friend Mal for putting up with me in the process of this fic, he’s never read the books and literally doesn’t even know who these people are.

Continuation of the point I made in Late Night Cocoa about Leo and Jason both being shit at voicing it when something is wrong with them! Jason’s been in charge for so long that not being okay has simply never felt like an option. Leo still isn’t entirely used to having people who care regardless of whether he’s currently being useful.

Being in a relationship does not magically fix all your issues! But they know each other and know how to lift each other up and it does really help.

Leo will not let Jason play the hero. Jason will not allow Leo to talk badly about himself ever. They’re just good for each other, full stop, and I love that for them.

Side note: I cannot believe I wrote a 10k established relationship fic and didn’t let them kiss on the lips once. That feels incredibly mean of me. I feel like now I need to write a date fic of some kind specifically to make it up to them, lol

This was my first time properly attempting Jason POV which was kind of scary but I think I ended up doing alright?

Anyway, thanks for reading! Comments and reblogs are always super, super appreciated.

@poppitron360