#i woke up an hour ago but i wanna lay down again and think about canto vi

[ihearasound]

Just some thoughts on the purely technical side of Canto VI, no spoilers

Honestly this chapter was really fucking good in how it stepped up what they could do once more. I'm really impressed on so many levels. Every chapter they're pushing what they can do with animation and breaking down walls between its technical components. The amount of really fucking cool animation was WILD. Canto IV had some of it, Canto V had some really fucking cool animation, and this Canto had lots of really fucking cool animation. The way they're pushing to seamlessly blend the VN parts with the battle/animation parts is SO MUCH FUN to observe. It makes me SO excited to see what comes next. The last fight was especially impressive, just utterly stunning. But my favourite minor moment was the scene with that one sinner right before the rooftop. I yelled out in excitement because I did NOT fucking see that coming. I loved it on a technical standpoint, and I loved loved loved what it did for the sinner writing wise. I'm in love. I'm so in love with this game.

Artwork wise also HUGE improvement. Canto V had definite growing pains, but now they've finally found their stride. And it shows. Once again, I am heartbroken about Vellmori being forced out like that. I think the game lost a lot for it. With every artwork I thought, "this is really damn good. But how had Vellmori done this one?". I miss her art. Nothing can compare to it. The expressiveness, the life, the joy... her art is unmatched.

But I'm still happy to see what the current artist team could achieve. I think they did incredible work. This chapter was SO full of artworks, it honestly really surprised me. They did not spare any expense. Everything is so full of atmosphere, the colors are gorgeous and the sepia is so beautifully worked into every piece. The backgrounds? On another level. So far completely unmatched.

Last but not least. The fights were so much fucking fun. I loved the decision for the structure for this Canto. No dungeon meant that every fight could be fine-tuned with the utmost care. And it showed! Instead of a bunch of trash fights, they focused so hard on crafting some really demanding but fun fights. I had my trouble with a couple of them, and for 6-35 I genuinely struggled for over an hour as I tried to figure out what team would work. But once I got the right one I saw results quickly, and it was super satisfying. Every fight in this Canto was super satisfying. Though the sinking team was unmatched in this, I still had to think a lot about my team composition. Shoutout to Dieci Rodion who HEAVILY carried this chapter for me. Her beast-tanking + Pursuance healing was a life saver. She deserves a backrub for this one.

The combat in this chapter really made me realize.... Limbus Company is fun. It's really fucking fun to play. It's compratively easy to pick up, and mastering it may not be as easy, but getting to a satisfying point with your skills isn't hard either. And then the game starts challenging you. Working and reworking your priorities during a fight, seeing how much a sinner can take, when it's best to just go for the throat... I love it all. The game is really, really fun to play, and I really hope they continue with the Canto VI design philosophy.

Also, of course the music was really good. Every track was really atmospheric, many bone chilling and all of them let you immediately forget you're playing a game. Especially during 6-35 and 6-45 I stopped a lot to just listen to the music. It was hard concentrating because I was just taken by the music. Of course, shoutout to Mili, too. The moment I heard their song I fell in love again. As I do with all Mili tracks. But it's not just Milis music, it's the music at every corner. I think here too, the team once again evolved by leaps and bounds. Music up until now was INCREDIBLE, it always has been and always was. But this Canto is another awesome evolution of their craft.

It all accumulated to this really stunning and impressive finale in 6-48. I was just floored man. Everything came together so beautifully, every part and every piece created this stunning whole. Once the credits rolled, I was just paralyzed for a bit. Idk even now what to do. I still have to mull on this chapter a lot. Both story-wise and on a technical level. I'm very excited to see where the game goes from here and what it still has in store. Every Canto VI takes it further and further with so much seemingly ease. I want to see what comes next.

[curly-my-beloved]

“And I can't exist without you” Curly x Reader

i. i've been waiting by my grave

waiting for you to rescue me, my love

come back from the dead

You'd look up at the night sky often. Each night, even. Especially now. Especially these days.

By now, it was routine. You'd go to the balcony of your house (one that he bought) and use the ladder to climb on the rooftop so you could lay down on it, looking at the stars.

... why was the ladder there again?

Oh, that's right. He left it there. He put there for you.

So you could look at him.

Oh, what a fool that man was. And yet, you loved him so damn much... so, so much it hurt. Especially now.

Now that he was gone.

He was supposed to be back a year ago. And yet... he disappeared. And since you didn't get to marry him, they would use that damn technicality against you.

You tried everything, but nothing worked. Not even a lawsuit.

You were stuck. Stuck with a ring on your finger...

And without him.

ii. and i can't exist without you

i can't exist without you

You felt tears falling down your cheeks as you looked at the full moon and all the stars around it. You could almost hear him. Almost feel him.

You remembered it all too well. Your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you. You remembered his small chuckles as you confused the constellations. He always seemed to know all the stars so well.

It was so sweet.

You remembered smiling and giggling at the child-like wonder in his eyes. In moments like this, all your worries seemed to fade away. It was just you, him and the night sky.

It was not the same anymore.

It was almost like phantom pain where you couldn't feel his body against yours.

It was almost piercing just how silent the world was without his voice and heartbeat.

It was almost colorless without those damn bright blue eyes of his looking at you lovingly when you woke up.

God, you missed him.

iii. you are my cure

in this infected world

and i can't do this without you

i'm dying here without you

Curly didn't know when he woke up. One moment, he was frozen, drifting in space on the Tulpar, all his crewmates dead... the next, there was a team of doctors above him.

He wasn't sure what was going on. His mind was too hazy, still trying to handle everything that happened to him. To his crew.

His mind kept going from them to you. He never forgot you.

Even with how fuzzy his mind was, clouded by the constant pain he felt, you always remained in his mind and heart. Sometimes he even hallucinated in his agony, seeing you sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his face and hushing him with the sweetest, softest whisper.

You'd promise him everything would be alright. Talk about your plans. You'd remind him about the silly cat or dog debate that never got to reach a conclusion.

You'd wear the beautiful ring he got you, talking to him about the wedding you two were planning once he comes back home.

He'd sob every night, prying to once day get to hold you in his arms again.

The only real cure for his pain. The light in the dark.

God, he missed you.

iv. i don't belong here without you...

Hope is the mother of all fools, and yet, it always dies last.

Your hope never died.

Almost two decades passed since he disappeared.

And yet, as your hair greyed and your skin started to lose it's youthful glow, you never lost hope.

You kept waiting.

You'd rather die a widow than even think about loving another, after all.

And yet, one day, you got a call from a hospital hours away from your home.

They asked for your name and if you knew a man called Curly. Shocked, yet hopeful, you told them that yes, you were engaged to Grant Curly.

He was finally found.

v. i wanna lie with your bones forever...

You'd recognize those god damn bright blue eyes of his anywhere.

From the moment his one remaining eye met yours, you know it was him. As damaged as he was, it was him. Curly. The love of your live.

You had no idea how long you were there with him, holding his burned face and leaving the gentlest, most love filled kisses on it as relieved tears streamed down your face.

You'd rest your forehead against his chest, finally feeling his heartbeat again after all those years, hearing his the fast yet steady rhythm between your sobs.

You could finally feel his arms around you again, even if they were much skinnier, with stumps instead of the big hands you always loved to hold.

It was him. The man you loved so much.

And as you looked into his eye, that beautiful, gorgeous blue eyes of his...

You could see your world was slowly regaining its colors.

Just like his world was slowly regaining the light.

You were together again.

God, you've both missed this so much.

[grazi-your-rockette-queen]

Hey! Can you just do any kind of ride the lightening era Kirk smut/fluff? Be creative! No presh! KirkxFem reader (Nothing like super kinky or anything yknow 😆)

omg yesss i haven’t wrote for kirk in so long i miss him :((((

summary: kirk wakes up from nightmares and you help calm him down by watching a movie, and he gets super touchy

warnings: smut, a little teasing, kind of subby!kirk but not rly, creampie, a little bit of biting, p in v

Burnin’ For You-kirk hammett

it was late. you had been watching movies for hours and hours after you and kirk went to bed. he had fallen asleep next to you a while ago, but you were still wide awake while Scarface played on the tv. suddenly, you felt kirk shift and instinctually looked down next to you where he was laying under the cover. he opened his eyes slowly, a worried frown on his face. you looked at him with sleepy eyes in concern, and softly placed a hand on his shoulder while he woke up.

“kirk? are you alright?” you asked in a soft whisper, eyebrows furrowed at the sight of him breathing heavily. it almost looked as though tears were forming.

“yeah… that was weird, i think i had a dream.” he spoke slowly while he calmed himself down and sat up in the bed. you pulled him closer to you.

“was it bad?”

“yeah… i don’t want to talk about it.”

“are you sure you’re okay?” the looked at you with sad brown eyes and nodded, half smiling. you nodded and hugged him, kissing his head. you stayed like that for a little while, the sound of the movie still playing quietly in the background.

“you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?” you asked him. he hummed and nuzzled into your chest, hiding his face and causing you to giggle.

“i don’t wanna…” he muttered. you smiled and rubbed his back softly while he cuddled you. you ran your fingers through his soft curls soothingly. after a minute you had to move to be more comfortable, but noticed kirk moan softly as your leg accidentally brushed a little far up his own.

“kirk… is there something you want?” you asked rhetorically, starting to smile. he blushed and looked away from your eyes.

“yeah…” he wasn’t at all being up front about what he needed, and you could’ve teased him about it, but you decided to give him what he clearly wanted. you cupped his face in your hands and kissed his lips softly once, and then again more deeply. he propped himself up on his elbows, now hovering over you. you pulled him closer to you, still embracing him. kirk grew more needy and he started slowly running one hand down your torso, and unintentionally grinded down on you, causing you to moan into the kiss. he broke the kiss to ask if he could take your clothes off, to which you told him yes. he started with your top, you helped him get it over your head. he hummed softly at the sight of your exposed tits, carefully tracing his hand down the side of your body before kissing your collarbone down to your chest. you giggled and moaned as he softly bit down your torso, before reaching the hem of your shorts. he pulled off your shorts and panties in one go, kissing above your pussy. he kissed his way back up to your jaw and removed his own underwear, lining his hard and needy cock up to your slick lined slit, and slowly pushing into you. he threw his head back slightly as he bottomed out slowly. within a short few minutes, he was pistoning his hips into yours, desperate to get as much friction as he could. you let him get really close to the edge, which was indicated by the prettiest noises that fell from his plush lips as they got louder and louder.

“kirk… kirk…” you repeated in order to get his attention. he looked up, breathing heavily but not halting his movements. you mouthed to him to stop, which he obeyed but whined about.

“i’m glad to help you out, baby… but you have to make me come first.” you smirked and bit down on your lip teasingly, watching confusion glaze over his big brown eyes, he whined again. “you heard me.”

he grunted, instantly understanding what his new mission was. he reached one hand down, circling two slender fingers over your clit. he continued his thrusting at a slower pace than before, careful not to let himself go before his job was done. he winced louder every time your walls tightened, indicating you yourself were getting close. he started to lick, kiss and begin to bite down on your neck and collarbone, grunting with each thrust.

“i’m close baby, good job.” you praised through moans, starting to buck your hips back into his, meeting his thrusts. he whimpered while your walls tightened finally, both yours and kirk’s eyes rolling back into your heads. kirk’s moans echoed through the room as he came right after you, filling your already wet cunt with his own seed. he subsided, nearly collapsing next to you on the bed. you caught your breath before him, grabbing him to lay his head on your chest and carefully brushing away the hair that clung to his forehead by a thin layer of sweat.

“good boy, thank you kirky.” you nuzzled into his soft curls, planting kisses on his head.

“thank you.” he returned still out of breath, kissing your chest and running his hands down your sides, causing you to giggle.

[steadysuitenthusiast]

This is my first ever fanfic that I’m posting! Please like, reblog, and leave comments telling me what you think! Currently only writing for SKZ. If you have any ideas, I’d be happy to write something if you send me an ask!

Tiny Traitor (shout out to @skzms for the title idea and for encouraging me to write this!! You’re the best <3)

Pairing: lee know x reader

Summary: Minho comes home to find you in bed with a replacement for him. But how can he be angry when he looks so much like him and you look so peaceful.

Warnings: none, just fluff!

Word count: 813

2:19am

Minho had told you he’d be late getting home tonight, but you hadn’t expected him to be this late. A glance at the clock on your bedside table had you heaving a sigh of defeat. You had spent the past 2 hours scrolling on your phone, trying to stay awake. Your eyes were hurting from staring at the screen for so long and you had to be up at 8 for work. Resigned to the fact that you wouldn’t be seeing Minho tonight, you sent him a text saying you loved him, locked your phone, grabbed your Leebit plushie that you kept hidden for nights you’re alone and missing Minho, and rolled over to fall asleep.

3:22am

Minho opened the front door to your shared apartment as quietly as he could, as he figured you were probably asleep by now. Taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket by the door, he silently padded his way to your shared bedroom to check on you before he washed up for the night. What he saw as he stepped into the room stopped him in his tracks and had his breath hitching in his throat. You were laying in the middle of the bed, your hair fanned out on the pillows framing your sleeping face and making you look angelic. You were wearing one of Minho’s shirts that you had confiscated from him months ago claiming you slept better wrapped in something that belonged to him, especially when he wasn’t with you. But the thing that made Minho tear up, was the little Leebit plushie cuddled in your arms the way that he should be, the way he craved to be. He hated being away from you, especially when he was so close. The late nights at the dance studio were taking away his time with you and it made his heart ache.

You stirred awake at the feeling of someone’s eyes on your sleeping form. “Min? You just getting home?” You murmured, your voice raspy with sleep.

“Hi my love. Yes, I’m sorry I woke you. Just wanted to check on you before I showered. Go back to sleep and I’ll be back soon, yeah?” Minho responded, softly stroking your hair and placing a kiss at your hairline.

“Mmkay” you mumbled before rolling over and trying to doze off again, but the knowledge that Minho was in the other room made you stay awake so you could see him, at least for a little while.

About 10 minutes later, the door to the bathroom opened and Minho stepped out with his hair still dripping with water from the shower. He looked at the bed and noticed you watching him. “I thought I told you to go back to sleep?” he questioned you softly.

“Couldn’t sleep. Wanted to see you” you state simply.

“Well in that case…” he pauses and narrows his eyes playfully at you. “You wanna tell me what you’re doing in bed with that tiny traitor?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion as you looked at him questioningly, unsure of what he was referring to. His eyes darted to the Leebit plushie still cradled in your arms then back to your own. You glanced down, almost forgetting you were holding it, and burst into laughter at the pout that had formed on your boyfriend’s face.

“Tiny traitor?? How could you call him that??” You said through your fit of laughter.

“Well he’s in my spot! He’s snuggling MY girl in MY bed!” Minho exclaimed looking a little defeated. You sobered at this and your eyes softened as you looked at your handsome, exhausted boyfriend.

“He keeps me company when you’re not here and I’m missing you. I usually only need him when you’re on tour and I can’t come with you, but I missed you a lot tonight. So I needed the extra snuggles.”

Minho crept towards the bed slowly, a small smile forming on his face as he came closer to you, “When did you even get him? I don’t remember ever seeing you with a SKZoo plushie” he said playfully.

“Technically I had him before I met you.” you responded shocking him slightly.

“I thought Felix was your bias before we met” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Was??” you tease. He narrowed his eyes and started tickling your sides mercilessly. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” You half yelled in an effort to make the tickle torture cease. “You’re my ultimate bias, even though you called Leebit a tiny traitor” you looked at Minho lovingly after he stopped his playful assault on your sides.

“I love you so much baby” he stated, voice barely above a whisper. He kissed your forehead before mumbling, “I’ll buy you all the tiny traitors you want if it helps you stop missing me.”

[woniverse-writes]

“Backfired Birthday”

bada lee x reader

summary: trying to surprise bada for her birthday with a cake and decorations, but it goes horribly wrong

word count: 2.2k

warnings: uhm they shower together but it's cute and wholesome, slight angst?? reader lowkey has a breakdown, not proofread

notes: I FINALLY MANAGED TO WRITE A SHORT FIC LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO- also, the other Bada birthday fic will be posted later, seeing as it's technically ready to post now, but I wanna add a little more spice to it lol

The week leading up to Bada’s birthday had gone really well- you would even say it was perfect! You had everything set in stone and were determined to give her the best birthday ever, especially since it was the first one you were celebrating as a couple. You two had been friends for the last few years, having met through dance. You were both choreographers and instructors for Just Jerk Academy and got to know each other through another dancer from the studio. When Howl had said he wanted to introduce you two to each other, neither really knew what to expect, you assuming that Bada and him were a thing, and her assuming the same of you and him. So it came as a shock when he set you two up on a date and claimed he was trying to help his girls stop being single. And here you are years later, happier than ever, preparing for your now girlfriend's birthday. 

When you woke up that morning, you made sure to get up a little earlier than usual to prepare an extra special breakfast for your lovely girlfriend. it was storming severely outside and it eventually got so bad that the power went out- cutting the line for your toaster, your fridge, your microwave, and your electric stove. You were so disappointed in your failed breakfast that you ended up just going to lay back in bed with Bada, who gladly accepted your warmth as you snuggled your way back into her arms.

The two of you woke up again, together this time, about an hour later. The power had seemed to come back on at some point, although it was still raining pretty hard outside. You ended up making a simple breakfast and ate together quickly before Bada had to head off to the studio for some lessons today. You made sure not to take on any classes in order to prepare all the festivities and gifts for your girlfriend, in order for her to have the most relaxing and satisfying birthday when she got off work.

The first thing you did was head to the store to pick up some ingredients for a cake, as well as look for a nice champagne or wine that would make the evening even more romantic. After getting the basic ingredients, you spent the next 45 minutes stressing over whether you should get champagne or wine, reeling you knew nothing about your girlfriend’s more refined drinking preferences. Eventually, you decided just to skip the alcohol (even though you definitely felt like you needed some right about now) and move on to the checkout.

After the unnecessarily long shopping trip, you made your way to the floral shop to pick up the arrangement you had ordered a week ago. When you arrived, an older lady who seemed to have been working there a long time was working the front register. You went up to her and let her know you were there to pick up an order. She scanned through her system and looked confused briefly before asking if it could be under a different name. After you shook your head, she asked for your phone number and email address to track your receipt, but nothing came up again. 

You were beginning to panic until a younger-looking girl walked about from the back and the older lady flagged her down.

“Marcia, do you remember if you took this young lady’s order any time recently?” the older woman asked turning stiffly toward the younger worker, who tensed up and flitted her eyes back and forth between you and her manager.

“Uhm… I think so…” The older woman sighed shortly and asked

“Well did you give her any sort of receipt?” to which the younger girl shook her head and looked like she was about to cry, but to be honest you were too. Things were quickly starting to fall apart and you could feel it. After about 30 minutes of searching, they ended up not being able to find any sort of receipt to show your order was taken, but the younger employee admitted to having taken your order earlier that week and not giving you a receipt, so the older lady, who you assumed to be the shop owner, offered to whip something up for you at a discounted price of what you would've originally paid, to which you accepted, then had to immediately decline after hse told you it would be ready after Bada would've already gotten home.

Leaving the flower shop and heading back home, you tried to focus on the tasks at hand, which were decorating and baking Bada’s birthday cake. As you pulled into the driveway, the rain picked up again, soaking you as you got out of your car and grabbed all the groceries from the back of your trunk. While you were trying to walk as fast as possible, a stray cat ran out from one of the bushes in front of your house, startling you so badly, that you dropped the bag with all the decorations in it, spilling them onto the concrete, causing them to get soaked in the rain and some covered in mud, leaving them unusable. You tried to pick them up and quickly make your way inside to assess the damage and hopefully still be able to use some of the decorations, but you had no luck seeing as they were so damp and stained with dirt that there was barely anything left from what could've been saved anyways.

You let out the biggest sigh ever and threw your head back with a groan. You told yourself it was okay, seeing as you still had about three and a half hours until Bada would be home, and in that time all you had to do was bake a cake, seeing as you had no champagne or decorations to prepare. But that also made you realize you hadn’t gotten her a present or even a card. 

In a state of absolute panic, you slipped your shoes on and ran back out to your, starting the engine and swiftly backing out of your driveway. You ran to the nearest store, which happened to be the one you had already visited today for the cake ingredients, and picked up a birthday card. Soon after that, you ran to the mall and spent the next 45 minutes trying to decide between getting Bada a new jersey or a new pair of sneakers. You didn’t feel as if either was enough to showcase how much you loved her, so you just bought both, not even worrying about your bank account at the moment.

Once you made it back home for the second time, you immediately set the oven to pre-heat while you began preparing the batter. You have an hour and a half now before Bada gets home, so it’s crunch time. You still wanted to shower and change into a cute outfit so you’d be all ready for when she got home, but thought that was a bad idea since you were in the middle of baking. The cake batter was coming together nicely until the power suddenly went out again in the middle of you mixing the batter. You let out a mix of a scream and a groan in frustration. 

The power suddenly turned back on a few moments later, which you weren’t prepared for- especially since your mixer decided to turn back on as well while didn’t have a grip on it, sending the bowl flying off the counter and batter to splatter everywhere- all over the walls, the counters, and covering you as well. You let out a shocked scream as it happened and immediately reached to unplug the mixer, frozen in shock afterwards.

You felt like such a terrible girlfriend as you stood in the messy kitchen, wondering how you were gonna clean up the chaos and yourself before Bada got home. She had no cake, no decorations, and You couldn’t even get her the proper flowers. Everything just felt like a disaster, and you couldn’t help but tear up as you surveyed the mess around you.

You didn’t even hear the door unlock, only noticing your girlfriend swinging the door open and walking through after she had already closed the door and locked it behind her.

“Hi baby- woah, what’s going on?” the tall girl giggled and smiled lovingly at you from across the kitchen as she took off her hoodie and threw it on the back of one of the chairs. You looked around in a daze and once you made eye contact with her, you felt your lip quiver as you tried to put on a smile.

“Happy birthday my love” is what you tried to say but couldn’t even finish as you burst into tears. You felt pathetic, covered in cake batter, crying in your messy kitchen in front of Bada on her birthday. It made you cry even harder when you became self-aware and felt you were being selfish since your girlfriend probably had a long day and now here you are trying to take the attention away from her on her day.

Bada wasn’t thinking that at all though. She immediately made her way to the other side of the kitchen to wrap you in a hug and kiss your head, ignoring your protests (“You’re gonna get batter all over you-” you cried into her shoulder. “Shhh it’s okay” she shook her head and pulled you closer). You stayed that way for a while until you calmed down for the most part. When you pulled away slightly you looked up at Bada with puffy eyes and a pout, which she smiled enedaringly at and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You began to tear up again, so disappointed in yourself for not being able to pull off something so simple. But Bada put a stop to it once again immediately.

“Princess- it’s okay” she giggled sweetly, wiping away your tears and caressing your cheek. She tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and began slowly leading you towards the bathroom.

“Why don’t we take a nice shower together, yeah?” the tall girl asked softly, still not letting go of you, making sure to have some sort of physical contact at all times while the two of you made your way around. Neither of you even bothered to grab clean clothes, heading straight for the bathroom. Bada started the shower, holding your hand and softly looking over her shoulder every few seconds to smile at you reassuringly. Once she was satisfied with the water temperature, Bada took her shirt off first, leaving her in a sports bra and cargo pants. then she proceeded to help fully undress you before taking off the rest of her clothes and ushering you both into the shower. 

You relaxed slightly under the warm water and closed your eyes, letting the droplets soak your hair and skin, already slightly cleaning you off. Bada reached behind you to grab the shampoo off one of the shelves and squirted some out into the palms of her hands before lathering it in your hair. She stood in front of you, gently tilting your head back as she continued to wash your hair, you standing with your arms wrapped around her waist, eyes still closed, finally feeling at peace for the first time that day.

After taking a little longer than expected due to getting distracted by some innocent shower kisses, you both finished helping each other clean up and hopped out from under the water which had gotten a little colder than what it was before. You playfully dry each other off, giggling and pressing sweet kisses to random areas on each other’s face, neck, and shoulder; you head back to your shared bedroom wrapped up in your fluffy towels. You sleepily pick out some clean clothes to wear, both of you only grabbing an oversized shirt and a clean pair of undergarments to sleep in. 

After getting dressed and hanging the towels back up, Bada turns off the bedside lamps, and you both snuggle up under your covers.

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t give you an amazing birthday, and that I cried the second you got home” you apologized, staring up at Bada in the dim light with sad puppy eyes. You could barely make out the loving smile on her face as she pressed a kiss to your forehead, then a couple to your cheeks, and then one to your lips.

“Don’t apologize for anything. I had an amazing birthday, simply because I got to spend even a sliver of it with you…” Bada reassured in a hushed voice, pulling you in closer to intertwin her legs with yours under the covers. She kissed you once again softly on the lips before resting her forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, and any moment I get to spend with you is already such a gift, so thank you, my sweet girl.” her sentiment and sweet words made you tear up again, but you were able to swallow it down this time.

“I love you too. Happy birthday, my love.” and you both fell asleep happily cuddled into each other, with the sound of the rain pouring outside.

permanent taglist: @uwulyn

[blckbarbiedoll]

Million Dollar Baby

Chapter 6-The Winner Takes It All

August 4, 2019-New Rochelle, New York (2 A.M.)

Darkness surrounded you as you sat up and rubbed your eyes. You let them adjust for a minute before getting up to go get water. When you got back into bed, you realized that your fiancé was missing. Before you could grab your phone to text him, you heard the door open and shut, followed by soft footsteps.

"You're up." He said, clearly surprised.

"Where'd you go?"

"To get a drink. You know this hotel has a 24 hour bar?" He kicked off his shoes and pulled his shorts off before climbing in next to you. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Not really."

"Me either."

"You nervous?"

"This isn't my first challenger."

"I'm not talking about tennis."

He sighed and laid flat on his back. You laid down and rested your head on his chest. "I talked to him yesterday."

"What'd he say?"

"Basically said that he didn't give a shit about me and neither does anyone else."

"You know that's not true."

"Isn't it? I mean, besides you, who really cares? My parents sure as hell don't."

"Am I not enough?"

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you in closer.

"You're more than enough."

You kissed him softly and cuddled into his side. The smell hit your nose like a bullet train. You recognized it as soon as you smelled it. After all these years, she always bought the same perfume.

🎾

The sun had just risen when you woke up again. It had only been two hours. Patrick was still asleep next to you. All you could think about was the smell of her on your fiancé. It made your stomach turn out of disgust, and your heart beat out of excitement. After laying there for a few minutes, you got up and put on some workout clothes. You walked out into the cold hallway and made your way to the gym.

"You've gotta be kidding me." You sighed as you walked in.

"Funny finding you here." Art said on the treadmill.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping? You've got a match in eight hours."

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd get in an early warm up."

You sighed and placed your phone and water on the floor before stretching. His eyes were glued on your body as you stretched on the floor. You looked in the mirror on the wall and saw him watching you.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer."

His eyes flickered away and he went back to running. After a few minutes, you got up and climbed onto the stair master that was next to him.

"Patrick treating you well?"

You sighed and thought about telling him what happened. How Patrick came back to bed smelling like another woman. Like Art's wife.

"Very well."

He slowed down his running and got off to catch his breath. He went over to the pull up bar and began pulling himself off the floor. Your eyes drifted over to him. The way his arms flexed and his chest on display had you reminiscing.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer." He smirked, throwing your words back at you.

"Shut up." After a few minutes, you got off the machine and took a sip of your water. "Shit." You groaned as it spilled down your shirt. You lifted it over your head, leaving you in a matching sports bra and shorts set. You knew Art was staring.

"Fuck." He said under his breath. He let go of the bar and watched you as he wiped the sweat from his face.

"Don't look at me like that." You blurted.

"Like what?"

"Like you wanna fuck me."

He stepped closer to you, placing a hand on your waist, pulling you closer.

"Would that be a bad thing?"

You ignored all the red flags telling you to go back up to your room. Back to your fiancé. But why should you? He cheated only two hours ago.

"No."

He kissed you with a hunger that you'd never felt from him. His hands went from your bare midsection to gripping your ass. You ran your hands up and down his bare chest as your lips trailed down to his neck.

"I miss you." He whispered, his hands caressing every bit of you he could reach.

"You do?"

"So much. Ayesha, I...I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

Your heart ached for the sweet man in front of you. He had to know the truth.

"Art, I have to tell you something. Patrick and Tashi slept together."

He sighed and nodded.

"I know. I saw them at the bar in Atlanta."

"Atlanta? What're you talking about?"

"They slept together at the U.S. open in Atlanta like eight years ago. What're you talking about?"

"Last night. He came back to bed with your wife's perfume on him."

"Tashi?"

"Do you have more than one wife?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"What now?"

"Does she know you know?"

"No. Patrick?"

"No."

"Let's keep it that way for now."

You leaned against the wall and slowly dropped to the floor. He followed you and came to sit with you.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked as you laid your head on his shoulder.

"Anything."

"Will you let him win today?"

"What?"

"You've already got countless wins and slams under your belt. He doesn't."

"So you want me to lose just to boost his ego?"

"I want you to let him win because he still has one good season in him."

"And I don't?"

"No, you don't. I've seen you play lately. You can't do it anymore. You're done, Art. And I think you know it."

"He cheated on you. Twice. Why do you wanna help him?"

"Because he's good at tennis. And I think he could win a slam next year."

"And?"

"And I love him. I really fucking love him."

"You know I waited for you?"

"What?"

"After we broke up. I waited for about two years until I realized that you weren't coming back."

"Art..."

"It's okay. You had your career to worry about. I get it."

"I didn't come back because I thought you deserved better."

"Better than you?"

"When we were arguing, Tashi said that you needed someone who was gonna be there for you. And I wasn't. I was traveling to god knows where every week."

"Ayesha, I didn't care if you were gone. I loved you." He hesitated. "I love you."

"I love you too." You whispered as you kissed his lips softly.

🎾TEN HOURS LATER🎾

"Game, Donaldson."

"Fuck." You said under your breath.

"Donaldson leads, six games to five."

Patrick and Art walked over to the sideline to wipe their faces and get water. You looked over at Art who was glaring daggers into Patrick's head. You sighed and crossed your arms as you leaned back in the chair. After a few minutes, the game resumed and they walked back onto the court. Patrick raised his arms up to serve. He tossed up the ball and hit it directly into the net.

"Come on, Patrick." You whispered.

He took a deep breath before grabbing another ball and tossing it up again. He hit it again, knocking it against the net.

"Thirty, forty."

"What are you doing?" You said to yourself.

The next hit was only slightly better. It had went over the net, but went too far.

"What the fuck?"

He grabbed the last ball he had in his pocket and bounced it on the ground. He slowly raised his racket behind his head to serve, but lowered it at the last minute. His gaze went from Tashi, to Art, to you. 

"Time violation. Warning, Zweig."

He bent down slightly and placed the ball in the neck of the racket. A tick that you noticed Art did. Patrick smirked, clearly thinking that he had the upper hand. He served the ball perfectly as Art let it fly by him. 

"Game, Zweig. Final set, tie break."

Tashi's jaw clenched. You could tell she was pissed. Art glared at him for a minute before serving the ball quickly as if he was trying to take Patrick's head off. He dodged the hit and got ready as Art went to serve again. This time, seriously. The two men went back and forth for what felt like forever. They were playing like their lives were at steak. It took you back to all those years ago when they were playing for your numbers. Patrick lunged forward and hit the ball over to Art. He got closer and jumped higher than the net trying to hit it.

"Shit." Tashi cursed out.

You both leaned forward and placed your hands on each other's knees. Patrick scrambled closer to the net and held his arms out to catch Art before he fell. He wrapped his arms around him and embraced him for the first time in over a decade. Their smiles were big as they held each other. Even though they weren't in earshot, you could see the small movements of Art's lips near Patrick's ear. It was enough to make out three words. 

"I love you."

It was clear that neither of them gave a shit about the game anymore. And neither did you or Tashi. 

"Come on!" Tashi cried out as she grabbed your hand.

The two of you stood up and cheered with the rest of the crowd. She pulled you into a hug. It wasn't just out of excitement, it was out of love. 

"Point penalty, touching the net, Donaldson. Point penalty, touching your opponent, Donaldson and Zweig."

They pulled away from the hug and whispered between themselves for a minute before turning to the umpire.

"We forfeit."

[mvltisstuff]

Hi, I loved you recent fic about reader being Eddies sister, it was amazing.

Can we get a part two with reader and Buck getting to know each other and then eventually dating at the end 🙏

Love your fics keep up the good work.

mr. rager (cont.) - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @evanbuckleydaily

a/n: ok so eddie had the spotlight in part one but this is bucks part 🤭 this is a bit of a shorter one but i hope you like it 💗

“eddie,” y/n complained. “i really don’t think i want to start anything-“

“c’mon, he’s nice! i’ve known him for a while i swear he’s a good guy,” eddie attempts to convince y/n again.

“i know, i’ve met him before. i get that you have some weird obsession with him and me but pipe down.”

“alright! i’m just saying he is an option.”

truth? y/n and buck have been going out for weeks. they’ve been hanging out and getting dinner and they actually hit it off. she realized that there’s people out there who understand her. growing up, she felt more alone than anyone. until she found buck and his radiance, he were someone to confide in. buck always was the spotlight of criticism when he was being raised. between his parents and comparisons of him and maddie, it was intolerable, so he left. similar to y/n.

they knew all too well that eddie was trying to get them together, but why not try to mess with him? they figured they wanted to sneak around a bit, act like teenagers again. sure, eddie would be pissed, but y/n was gleaming with buck. buck knew she was different from all of the girls he’s been with. abby, ally, taylor, didn’t have the elements that y/n did when she came into the room. the elements that buck needed.

they were both surprised when the other started spitting out their exact feelings, finishing their sentences like they were a psychic. it was scary at the beginning. y/n figured those issues would eventually crash together, causing damage that couldn’t reverse. she couldn’t bear to lose buck so early on.

as mentioned, they were continuously sneaking around, avoiding eddie and people who could say something. so usually, they were just at buck or y/n’s apartment where no one could bother them. y/n was laying on bucks bed, propped up on her elbows with bucks lips pressed against hers. her hands rubbed against his forearms as his were keeping himself above her, loving on her neck and admiring her lips. they stayed in that position until y/n sat up, running her hands through bucks growing hair and letting them fall to his jaw.

bucks shift had ended a few hours ago, and after long hours of working, he texted y/n, wanting her to come over. so there they were, making out in bucks small apartment.

“when do you have to go to work?”

“don’t worry about it,” buck smiles, continuing to kiss her.

“just wanna know how much time we have,” she smirks and the knocking on bucks front door interrupts them. “clearly not as much as i had hoped.”

“ugh,” buck groans, planting one more quick peck on y/n’s lips before rushing downstairs to peek into the peephole. his heart races when he sees his best friends figure waiting by the door, six-pack in his hand. “shit!”

“what’s wrong-“

“go in the bathroom, it’s your brother!” buck whisper-yells.

“why is he here?” y/n asks, frantically trying to decide what to do.

“i’ll cover for you, just, i’m so sorry,” he stutters and moves to open the door. y/n locks herself in bucks bathroom, standing there until eddie leaves. “uh, hey! what’s up?” he asks awkwardly.

“nothing much… bad time?”

“no! no, you’re good,” buck moves to let eddie in. he’s trying to make it seem less suspicious, so he just decides to let him stop by for a few minutes. “i just woke up anyway.”

“makes sense, your hairs a mess,” eddie says, making bucks eyes widen and run his fingers through it. “relax, buck. what’s got you so on edge?”

“me? i’m fine!”

“alright,” eddie replies, not believing a word of his act. “i was gonna see if y/n was busy, but she didn’t answer her phone.”

“is she at work?”

“no, her shift would have ended a while ago,” eddie tells him. “here, i’m gonna call her again.”

“are you sure?” buck spits. “it’s just, maybe she’s asleep? or out with people? or on a date?”

“c’mon, it’s y/n. i’m just gonna make sure she’s ok,” eddie presses her name on his phone and buck immediately knows his fate. he’s screwed, basically. eddie would be pissed if he found out they didn’t tell him. shouldn’t they have said something sooner? it doesn’t matter now, because he’ll find out anyway. eddie unfortunately notices the distinct ringtone of y/n’s coming from above, on his nightstand. buck tries to cover it up by coughing, but eddie just puts his phone down.

“nice try, buck,” he crosses his arms. “where is my sister?”

“i-i don’t know what you mean-“

“y/n?” eddie shouts, knowing that she’s been hiding in there somewhere. even in the bathroom, she silently curses buck, trying to figure out which part of his brain told him to do this. no turning back now, though. she flicks the lock and pulls the door open, smiling awkwardly as she steps out of the bathroom. “come down here.”

she steps down, carefully incase she has to make a run for it. maybe she should do that anyway, just escape to el paso from the pure embarrassment she feels.

“and how long have you been seeing each other and not telling me?”

“oh, you know just a-“

“four months.” buck speaks, quickly and it’s barely inaudible.

“sorry, did you say four months?” eddie exclaims. “why didn’t you say anything?”

“you had your fair share of sneaking around growing up? i’m a grown woman, i can see whoever i want. and buck is a grown man, he can make his own decisions.”

“i’m not mad, i’ve just been trying to make this work for months!”

“well, congrats,” buck adds. eddie takes a beer from the pack and takes the lid off.

“tía owes me $20,” he adds, taking a sip of the beer.

[luvyunjinxo]

ayo can i get a fic for my girly kim chaewon of lesserafim (she’s such a red flag i love her), where the reader is literally just overworks themselves for the groups comeback to the point of fainting (happened to me 2 days ago ‼️) and she gets pissed..

also your work gets better the more i read it so keep it up!! best of luck!!

NOTE: ANON , I'm so sorry I didn't know if you wanted fluff or smut so I'll just do smut 😰. (I'm sorry if it wasn't what you wanted just request again and I'll redo ! 🤍) and omg I'm sorry ab u fainting 💀. I think I'm improving a little but it goes down every time I get lazy 😞.

The whole group was preparing for your next comeback, working hard as always. But you were the one who worked your hardest more than usual. You always wanted to keep up with your unnies and you never wanted to let the group down so you overworked yourself for days without countless hours of sleep. You really did not know when you last slept.

One day though, during practice you guys worked your ass off receiving harsh corrections from the choreographer.

"Y/n-ssi your slacking off. Pick up the pace will you? And work on that last part for me" They kept saying.

You kept nodding not saying anything but you felt so lightheaded, you were gonna pass out, but yet you kept going. Your moves start to get slower and you feel yourself shutting down by the second then all of a sudden .. you collapsed.

As soon as you woke up though you started to blink repeatedly until you finally got your vision back. All you saw was the girls surrounding you looking worried. "YAH Y/N-AHH" they all screamed.

You got up from laying down immediately and kept apologizing. "Unnies, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to pass out like that I swear next time I'll try har-" A hand cut you off to be precise, Baby tiger's hand, Kim Chaewon.

"I wanna speak to you Y/n." As she pulled you away from the girls.

"What's wrong? Is it what I did?" She scoffed. "Yah, you fainted. What is up with you now days."

"I don't know Chaewon I just thought I wasn't trying hard enough."

She pushed your shoulder playfully "Are you crazy?! Oh my god Y/n sit down right there, now." She pointed at the couch.

"Ouch. Rude much." She lost it and something in her broke in annoyance.

She crashed her lips onto yours leaving no space between you two. That short scolding turned into a heated makeout and honestly, you had no time to complain but why would you anyways? KIM CHAEWON WAS MAKING OUT WITH YOU.

Her hands and lips roamed lower and lower while all you could do is let out breathy moans. After you guys got so into it you were about to take off your top but the door slightly opens leaving you and Chaewon in fear.

It was the members once again 😐. "HAHAH" Eunchae starts laughing at you both knowing that you two had something all along. They stared at you both in disgust.

"Guys save this for later we have to go back to practice" You sighed and let go of Chaewon's arm to let her go. You had to stay in the other room to feel better again since you just passed out like 20 minutes ago.

"We'll finish later princess, I promise" As she winks at you and closes the door.

===================

Unexpected twist huh? Nah not really tbh.

[bubblegumvolcano]

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (ᵗᵃⁿᵍᵉʳⁱⁿᵉ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ)

ᵐᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; none!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 544

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭; can i request tangerine coming back from an assignment to his shared home with reader🙏🏾

︶︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶︶  

It was 2am. You had been dead asleep until about five minutes ago. Now you were awake and not even a little tired. Your phone was on your nightstand charging, but you didn’t bother picking it up, knowing that if you looked at it for a second, you’d forget about trying to sleep completely. 

Of course, it would be easier if your boyfriend was here, but he was still in a whole other country doing god knows what. He said he should be back some time next week, so now all you had to do was work and wait for him. Every night was a struggle, not being able to text or call him unless he does so first. You wondered if he was even alive, which is a horrible but valid thought.

But every time you come even close to the conclusion that he’s dead, he shows up with just a scratch or two, like your own personal superhero. You lay on your stomach, your face pressed up on your pillow, thinking about him. How selfless he was, how he never expected you to do anything for him, despite the job he has. 

You were right on the verge of sleep with sweet thoughts of Tangerine, until you heard the front door’s doorknob being rattled. You froze up and stared at the bedroom door. You shut your eyes as you finally heard the front door open, and it never occurred to you once that whoever got in had keys and the passcode. It never occurred to you that it was Tangerine.

Heavy but slow footsteps made their way towards the bedroom, making you more alert than before. Your hand made it’s way slowly to your nightstand, and when it was on your phone, the door opened gently.

Then a soft, "Babe?" made all your worries disappear. The lights turned on and when you could see him, you jumped up from the bed with your arms out, "TAN!"

“Nice to see you too.” You could feel him smiling into your neck and you could’ve melted right there.

You brought your voice to a whisper, remembering he was definitely tired. "How'd it go?"

"It went really well, actually. Mostly missed you." He smiled down at you and grabbed your hips, kissing your face anywhere he could.

You leaned into him, "I missed you more. I was worried about you."

"You always are, love."

You two stayed hugging in comfortable silence for about a minute before he spoke again.

"What were you doing up? Did I wake you?"

"No, you didn't wake me. I woke up like five minutes before you arrived, actually.”

He kisses you on your forehead one more time, “Alright, I’m gonna go shower and then come sleep for the next fourteen hours.”

You frown, “Just shower tomorrow.”

“I stink, love. I haven’t washed myself properly in weeks. I’m doing you a favor.”

“Can I at least help you? You can just lay there and I’ll wash you.”

Tangerine thought for a moment, “Well I don’t wanna be a both-”

“Tan, we’ve been together for YEARS. This is not even close to being a bother.”

Tangerine chuckled softly, finding it practically impossible to say no to you right now. "If you insist. Might fall asleep though." 

“I’ll carry you to bed then.”

“Right.”

[sethsclearwater]

more fluff with poly!sethxreaderxpaul with their baby! i love them sm!! 🥺🥺

they're the cutest🥺

...

"pretty girl," seth's soft voice pulled you out of your sleep. you let out a low groan, rolling over as you blearily knuckled at your eyes as you woke yourself up.

"'s wrong?" you murmured, sitting up to see paul standing in the doorway with your baby and seth sitting next to you with the pump.

seth smiled softly at you, "you gotta pump," he murmured, knowing how irritated you'd be in the morning if you woke up with sore boobs from not pumping all night.

you groaned softly, nodding as you took the pump from seth, allowing him to help get you situated. paul came over a moment later, sitting down next to the two of you with your sleeping newborn in his arms.

"when did he wake up?" you asked softly, looking up at paul who offered you a small smile.

"just a few minutes ago. just wanted to be held," he reassured, leaning over to press a soft kiss to the crown of your head and you nodded, smiling at your sleeping baby.

seth got up, stretching his arms over his head once he finally got the pump set up and turned on. he was pretty religious about keeping you on a good pumping schedule, having alarms and reminders constantly going off on his phone every few hours to remind him to remind you to pump. you were grateful for the help, seeing as you probably would've forgotten about it yourself if you didn't have him there to help you.

"want anything from the kitchen?" he asked you and paul and you giggled, shaking your head.

"it's the middle of the night seth." you whispered, giggling again when he rolled his eyes at you playfully.

"‘s not making me any less hungry." he teased before heading into the kitchen to grab a snack for him and paul while you relaxed into the bed, turning your attention to your baby who whimpered as he subconsciously adjusted himself in paul's arms.

you peeked up at paul who offered you a small smile, "you feeling okay?" he asked softly and you nodded, letting out a sigh as you got the pump switched to the other breast.

"jus' tired." you explained and he nodded, leaning over to press another soft kiss to your forehead.

the three of you had worked out a pretty solid schedule. paul and seth alternated getting up with the baby in the middle of the night while they only woke you up when you needed to pump or feed him. it worked out quite well so the three of you could get relatively decent amounts of sleep throughout the night which was much needed, especially since you were still newly post-partum.

"just a few more minutes and then you can go back to bed." he reassured and you nodded, smiling at him.

"you two are the best." you whispered as the third member of your trio came back in with a box of cheez-its that had you giggling.

seth playfully rolled his eyes at you as he got back in the bed, allowing you to lean into his side as he munched on the cheez-its, "you want any?" he asked and you giggled, nodding as he put a cheez-it in your mouth before doing the same for paul, all three of you laughing softly at the situation.

the pump let out a soft beep, letting the three of you know that you were done with this session. you let out a soft sigh of relief as seth helped you take it off, "look at you go mama!" seth cooed excitedly as he held up the bag of milk you'd pumped, "such a good job." he smiled as you giggled, leaning over to press a soft kiss to your temple before taking the pump and all its parts to the kitchen so he could get it cleaned for you.

paul chuckled, rolling his eyes, "can i see him?" you asked paul and he nodded, handing you your baby who let out a little whimper when you transitioned, quickly calming down when he realized he was in your arms and not a stranger's.

"i think he should stay in here for the night if he's been fussy." you said softly to paul who nodded.

"you wanna try laying him down in his crib for a little bit then?" he asked and you nodded, allowing him to take your baby back, quickly setting him down in the bedside crib you had set up.

thankfully, he didn't seem to upset about the change, only whimpering for a few moments before falling back asleep in the crib. seth came back in then, quickly climbing back into bed with you and paul, "he staying in here tonight?" seth asked when he noticed your baby sound asleep in the crib next to paul who nodded.

"mhm," you hummed as you laid back down, taking paul's hand and tugging him to lay down with you as you curled into seth's chest.

both boys let out breathy laughs at your sleepiness, allowing you to get comfortable before all three of you drifted off.

[sea-of-dust]

Yukari giving chocolate for GN! Reader!

What if I just told u this was a request and tuumblr loves posting my drafts and posting unfinished works. Annon I'm sorry 😔

She made them! I be it you'd be able to smell it in the dorm which is why the s.e.e.s memmbers kept you from comming home. "You shouldn't come back yet" "and why's that" Minato emails back with little to no time in between "I wanna go grocery shopping with you" "oh" he bought her 3 hours.

Three hours used to the fullest with Mitsuru next to her with silicon trays. "What if the chocolate melts them and they eat plastic?" "Try not to worry so much about it" as she pours it you and Minato are almost two blocks away from the dorm. "We're two blocks away" "on it!" You notice him see a reply to an email but he quickly hides his phone in his pocket "Minato you've been on your phone alot what's buggin' you?" "Nothing"

you shrug noticing the sound of loud thundering footsteps closing in on you, trying to see who was causing the noise only to be met with a poster. "Y/n~" Jinpei appears from behind the poster grinning cheerfully yet you can sense blatant mischief in his expression. "There's a new gadget in town for two, you should help me buy it" "what is that even for?" "Oh I don't know" he walks back, his face facing you dramatically "two tickets to see the new movie that came out a few days ago" you flash back to Yukari raving about how much she wanted to see it, your face gets deathly serious. "Where's the theater?" "THATS THE SPIRIT"

Yukari, while she was grateful they could help did get a bit worried when you didn't come back until sunset with Jinpei and your emo tag along. "We're alive!" Jinpei bursts open the door with you two following behind. "Where the heck did you guys go to stay out so late" Yukari pounts seeing her you nearly fall into her arms. "I missed you" you look up at her with unfocused eyes, holding her to stay steady. Glaring at the both of them, she helps you to the couch near the entrance. "Yukari" you hand her the tickets with unstable hands. "I got the tickets to a movie you wanted to see" you smile brightly contrasting how beat up you sound. "The line was huge" Jinpei interupts "I think we almost drowned" "for a few tickets?" "There was a sale" you mumble out. She wraps her hand around your arm pulling you closer to her, using this as their cue the room emptines to just the two of you.

"Where ya going" as she gets up she turns to you "I have something for you" as if she woke you up with those words you sit patiently watching her come back with a plate. "You made chocolates?" A bit stunned she looked away "I guess the smell gave it away" she lays it next to you and her "They're all for you" "no" "huh?" "Lets share them, it would be unfair if you didn't get to atleast try them ya know" a bit more flustered she takes a bite with you. Biting into them you stretch yours out slowly the caramel stretching out. "You know me so well" you remark after finishing the first one. "Yum.." You muttered that under your breath but she still heard it. "I got you to say yum" she smiles proudly. "Really?" You look down again picking it up "they are really good guess it slipped out"

[zoyaofthegardvn]

I wanna know how Manon reacts to reader randomly getting her period🥺my week has been shit and I really need the fluff😭luv u

Messes and Apologies

A/N: Awh darling! I hope things have been looking up for you. Luv you boo! Hope this little fic makes your day a bit better :)

CW: None? Mentions nudity and blood, bc, ya know, periods

---

When you woke, you could tell that while it may be morning, it was far too early for anyone to be awake. It was still dark outside, and you would have assumed it was the middle of the night had it not been for the chirping birds in the distance.

You and Manon had forgotten to close the window the night before, and a faint chill filled the room. You shivered at the breeze, and immediately winced as the movement sent a sharp pain through your abdomen. You furrowed your brows a bit, curious as to why your stomach was beginning to ache. You were naked, Manon, too, due to your... activities the night before. Had she been a bit rougher than usual, is that the reason for the ache? No, not really, she'd actually been a bit on the gentler side. Were you getting sick? That couldn't be it, nothing else felt bad.

You moved to turn to your side, having been lain on your back with Manon's arms wrapped around you, when you felt it. Slick, between your thighs, and again, that deep ache in your lower belly flared through you.

Your heart sank, and you could feel the blood drain from your face.

Damnit, I thought I wasn't due for another week? You cursed yourself, usually you're always prepared. It had been so, so long since your cycle had caught you by surprise.

Immediately, you thought about Manon, your girlfriend laying right beside you. Your flow was always heavy, and if it was already running down your thighs, it had surely made its way to the sheets.

Manon did not care for mess. She was dirty in some ways, sure. In bed, for starters, and she never cared about blood when she was out in the field. But what would she think about this? Your cycle, ruining the sheets in the early morning, disturbing your rest, when Manon finally had a few days off after working and training so hard.

Manon was grumpy when disturbed from her sleep, and sometimes, downright mean if there wasn't a good reason for her to be woken up.

First, you needed to get up and clean yourself. But, you needed to change the sheets before it got too messy, or before, gods forbid, Manon were to accidentally roll over into it, or something. But that would require waking Manon up, and that was something you absolutely did not want to do. Truly, you felt guilty, she's been working so hard, and after a night of love making, you know she needed to sleep.

It didn't take long for the ache in your belly to worsen from dread, and your heart began hammering in your chest.

Slowly, you peeled Manon's arm up from where it was still across your waist, and you backed up to the edge of the bed, throwing your legs over and rising to your feet. A candle was gently burning on the other side of the room, nearly gone, but in the dim light, you could see that you had, in fact, bled onto the sheets.

There was... a lot. Way more than you had anticipated. You had likely started it hours ago and had been bleeding all damn night. There was a sizable stain, and you could feel it begin to trickle down your legs now that you were standing. You hunched over at the cramps, and you truly didn't know if the tears gathering in your eyes were from the pain or the embarrassment. Likely, it's both.

You softly pad around the bed, careful to not make heavy steps, when you stop suddenly at the sound of Manon's small grunt. You look over at her, and she's adjusting to rest on her back, her face contorted in frustration.

If you weren't so upset, you'd take a moment to admire the fact that she obviously sensed when you weren't with her, and she didn't like it.

When it's clear that she hasn't woken up, you continue making your way to the bathroom.

In the brightly lit room, you let your tears fall. Your inner thighs are bright red, and your stomach hurts, like a dagger in your gut, twisting and moving in and out. While you have the supplies to clean up, your underwear and clothes are in the bedroom, as well as any rags you'd be able to use to absorb your cycle. Manon had picked some more up during your last cycle, but you hadn't needed them yet, and so they weren't in the bathroom.

You groan in frustration, turning the sink on briefly to splash your face, and to wet a rag. You sit on the edge of the large bathtub, careful not to get it messy, and begin wiping down your legs.

It's difficult to see through the blurriness of tears, they fall slowly and gently, cooling your flushed face. Every second you spend in the bathroom is a second you avoid dealing with the sheets, another second you avoid having to wake Manon. And truthfully, you're less worried about her anger than you are your own embarrassment. While your and Manon's relationship isn't new, this is the first time an accident like this has happened. You just feel so... guilty.

Once your thighs are cleaned, you rise on shaky legs, and deposit the rag in the dirty laundry basket. Again, you splash your face, hoping it conceals the fact that you're crying when you wake Manon.

You turn the light out before leaving in an effort to not wake her too soon, and quietly, you return to your shared bedroom. You retrieve the candle from the dresser and place it on the table next to Manon's side of the bed.

You're still naked, legs clamped closed to prevent any more mess, and you opt to not sit on the side of the bed for fear of staining it even further.

Gently, you place a hand on Manon's bare shoulder, and give a gentle push. Her brows furrow, and she lets out a small puff of air, but she doesn't wake up.

Again, you shake her shoulder, and this time, you softly call her name. "Manon?" you whisper, shaking her for a third and final time. Her eyes fly open, and she's looking at you in confusion for a brief moment before she's sitting up, she sheet falling away to expose her naked chest. She doesn't care, though, immediately grabbing your arms and looking you over.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Her voice is a bit groggy with sleep, but the concern is evident.

And for some reason, it brings the tears all over again.

Manon is instantly climbing out of bed, standing at your height. She bends her head down to look you in the eye, her grip on your upper arms tightening.

"Y/N, what the fuck happened?" Her tone is harsh, not out of anger, but out of worry.

You squeeze your eyes shut, refusing to look into her gaze. She goes to speak again before she stops herself, looking around the room, even more confused.

"I smell blood, are you hurt?"

You shake your head 'no,' and she gives you a firm shake. "Damnit, Y/N, what's happened? Tell me!"

You take a deep breath, and finally, meet her eyes. "I-I'm really sorry Manon..."

She growls, baring her teeth. "Sorry for what? Tell me what's going on right now, Y/N, you're freaking me ou-"

"I got my cycle!" You rush out, lowering your head so that you don't have to see her disappointment and aggravation.

"What?" She asks, tone much calmer now.

"I-I got my cycle... I made a mess of the sheets, I'm sorry. I-I think it came early, or I didn't do a good job of tracking it... I'm sorry Manon. I'm sorry I had to wake you up, but the sheets..."

Manon turns to look over her shoulder, at the mess that you speak of. She turns back to you, to your eyes that are still staring at your feet.

She places a finger below your chin, tilting your gaze up.

Surprisingly, her face looks... soft. She doesn't look angry at all. She wipes the tears from your face. "That's what you're upset about? Some stupid sheets?"

"I had to wake you up..." you trail off, only continuing when Manon looks at you like she's waiting for you to make a point. "I-I just... I know you're tired... so, I'm sorry."

She scoffs, like she can't believe you'd even say that. "I don't care about losing sleep. I don't care about the damn sheets. I care about you. I care about why my girlfriend's up before the sun is, crying her eyes out and bleeding." She shakes her head in disapproval. "You scared me, baby."

You breathe out a sigh of relief. She isn't angry, or upset. A bit frazzled, maybe, but all is well. "I didn't mean to, I'm sor-"

"No more apologies," Manon is firm, and you nod your head to signal that you won't apologize again, not for something you can't control.

She leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Do you feel alright?"

You shrug. "I'm okay, my stomach just hurts."

She hums, and pulls you in for a hug, running her hands up and down your naked back. "My poor baby," she says, and you huff a laugh, pinching her side.

She jumps, and gives you a playful scowl. "I didn't say that to tease you, you know. I don't like when you're in pain."

You give her a soft smile, and a quick peck to her lips.

"Did you already get cleaned up?" She asks, and you nod, to her disappointment. "You should have woken me up right away, I could have taken care of you."

Though Manon's said plenty of romantic things to you throughout your relationship, it still makes your heart flutter every time. Manon's favorite way of showing how much she loves you is by taking care of you, when you're injured or ill. It doesn't surprise you that she wants to now.

"Do you want to take a hot bath while I change the sheets, and I'll get you some clothes and supplies?" She asks, already guiding you back towards the bathroom.

"You don't mind? I can clean my own mess, Manon, really. I know you're tired."

"I can go back to sleep when I know you're comfortable and in bed with me."

And, because you just adore her, you stop her in her tracks and pull her in for a loving kiss. She's surprised at first, but wastes no time kissing you back, caressing your arms and back.

"I love you, Manon, thank you."

She bumps her nose against yours, "I love you, too."

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Eleven

Authors Note: Short but sweet

Two Years Later

June 2006

1:00 AM

I was laying in bed trying to keep my eyes open while I waited for Joel to get home. We were in this tiny, crappy little apartment. The bed was uncomfortable and it was fucking hot being the end of June. I was laying there in only one of Joel's t-shirts, the blankets were kicked on the floor an hour ago. I couldn't fall asleep when Joel wasn't here. I sighed and turned onto my stomach and bent one leg up, hugging one of the pillows. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

I don't know how long I was in a light sleep but I woke up when I felt the bed dip beside me and a hand ran up the back of my thigh. I opened my eyes to see Joel looking at me with tired eyes. "Hi," I whispered. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you." I shook my head and sat up a little. Joel shifted and started to take off his boots. "How was your day?" I asked, sitting up on my knees and moving behind him to rub his shoulders.

"It was the same as every other day…long. What about you?" He asked, standing to unbuckle his belt. I stay sitting on my knees. "It was the usual. One of the guys couldn't take the hint that I'm not interested in him…" he stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "Stop. I took care of it, Joel. You can't go beating every guy up that's attracted to me," I said. He raised his eyebrow and finished taking his pants off. "Wanna bet?" He asked, leaning down and kissing me. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Hmm…I don't know about that." He climbed onto the bed, laying me flat on my back so he was above me. "I don't need my scary boyfriend protecting me from little boys." He pushed a piece of hair from my face. "Scary? I'm not that scary." I let out a loud laugh, "not scary? Are you kidding me?! You have a resting bitch face that says "look at me and you die." People run in the other direction when they see you." I leaned up and pecked his lips.

"We should get some sleep," I said. He hummed and kissed me again, kissing down to my jaw to my neck. "Yeah, we should go to sleep. But I haven't seen you since like six this morning." His hand came down to my thigh, moving down to the bend of my knee and pulled it up around his waist. He rolled his hips, one hand slid up under the shirt of his I was wearing. "I think this needs to come off. It's too hot for it anyway." I sat up just enough for him to push the shirt up and over my head.

"I think it's only fair that yours comes off too." He hummed and pulled his shirt over his head. "Better?" He asked, leaning down and attaching his lips to my neck. He trailed them down my neck to my chest until his lips attached themselves to my right nipple. His tongue swirled around it before he flicked it and then scrapped his teeth over the hardened bud and moved to the left one. He continued down to my stomach until he came to the waistband of my underwear. "These gotta go too."

He hooked his fingers into the sides and pulled them down and off me, throwing them behind him. He attached his lips to my skin again and trailed further down, spreading my legs wider. He trailed a finger through my lips, humming at how wet I was. I gasped when he sucked my clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue. My head fell back, my hand found his hair and pulled, with a moan of his name on my lips.

I was getting closer and closer to falling over the edge when he pulled away. "No. Why'd you stop? I was so close!" He smirked at me as he pushed his boxers down, kicking them off. "Joel, it's not fun–" a gasp turned into a loud moan as he pushed himself inside of me. "Shh. These are thin walls." He attached his lips to mine, pulling almost all the way out and slowly pushed back into me. He swallowed my moans, thrusting into me slow and hard. Hitting the same spot over and over.

The band in my belly grew tighter and tighter threatening to snap when he pressed the pad of his thumb to my clit and drew lazy circles. Hooking his arm under my knees and pushing my leg to my chest, going deeper while still hitting that special spot only he could find. I could tell he was getting closer to his release by the way his thrust became more sloppy. My walls tightened around him as I came undone. Hot ropes of his cum landed on my stomach as he pulled out at the last second.

Our breaths were labored, his forehead rested against mine, lips connecting in a soft kiss. Then he got up, disappearing for a few seconds before coming back with a warm washcloth and cleaning me up. He pulled his boxers back on and helped me pull his shit over my head. "What're you doing?" I asked. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, bent over digging in the pocket of his bag he had brought over. "I found something while I was outside the walls. Made me think of you."

I sat up, crossing my legs. "You got me something?" I asked. He shrugged, "not a big deal. Just thought– I don't know what I thought. I just saw it and grabbed it." He pulled out a small box and handed it to me. I gently took it in my hands and looked down at it. "You gonna open it?" I looked up at him, smiled, and opened it. Inside was a firefly charm on a gold chain. "Oh, my god. Joel…it's beautiful."

The moonstone made it look as though the firefly was glowing. "Thank you. I love it," I whispered. I took it out of the box and handed it to him before turning my back to him and pulling my hair out of the way so he could put it on. Once it was clasped, I turned back around and pulled him to me, connecting our lips. "I love you. Thank you." He hummed and pulled me down so my head was on his chest. "I love you too, Firefly."

[reigningqueenofwords]

Pizza

Word count: 1,214

Read on AO3

Part 4 of Lightening and Arrows

Walking into the training room, you smiled at Nat. “So, ready to work out?” You asked her, as she was your favorite workout partner. You’d left Tony and Clint playfully bickering over the best use of money to change after  breakfast, and idly wondered if they were still going at it. Or had they found some common ground? Possibly gotten bored?

She nodded. “Let’s stretch first.” She moved to the mats, you right behind her. After the two of you began stretching, she looked over at you. “Did Clint help last night?” She asked. He’d helped her a ton over the years they had known each other. 

“So much.” You nodded. “I fell asleep on his shoulder, apparently.” You chuckled. “I woke up this morning still there. He looked so peaceful.” You smiled as you thought of just a few hours ago.

You looked up at him and smiled. He looked so at ease. “Clint.” You said softly, giggling at the face he made in his sleep. “Clint, wake up.” You tried again, making him stretch a bit. 

“Go back to sleep.” He yawned. 

“Let me at least get off the couch. You can just lay down and go back to sleep, okay?” You offered. 

He shook his head at that. “‘M’comfy.” He mumbled sleepily. “Please?” He pulled you to his side. 

You were shocked at that, but let yourself get comfortable. “Okay.” You agreed, nodding. 

She chuckled at that. “He’s a cuddler, that’s for sure.” She told you as the two of you moved to your next stretch. You raised an eyebrow at her. “We’re best friends. Of course we’ve cuddled.” She shrugged. He’d come to her when he needed it, and vice versa. She couldn’t see that changing any time soon. Maybe you and Clint would also have that comfort in each other, as well.

“Makes sense.” You nodded. “I can see why you’d want to cuddle him.” You said honestly. “It was relaxing. And he’s comfy.” You chuckled lightly.

The two of you let the silence take over as you finished your stretches. “So, treadmill first? Then some weights?” You suggested, rolling your shoulders back. 

“Works for me.” She agreed. “So. Thor.” She glanced at you. “Wanna talk about it?” Her tone was soft. 

“What’s to talk about?” You asked, focusing on your treadmill. “He doesn’t feel the same. I get it. I’ll get over it.” You sighed. “I have to.” You muttered. There was no way around it. It was just a lot harder when you worked with the man you needed to get over. And lived with him, technically.

Nat watched you, knowing that there wasn’t really anything she could do to help you with this. And it sucked. “Maybe we can have a girl’s weekend away?” She suggested. “Leave Friday morning, come home Sunday night? We can invite Wanda and Pepper, too. Let the boys play.” She chuckled. 

You snorted at that, your jog faltering for just a moment. “That sounds like it would be an amazing weekend for us, and a disaster waiting for us to come back to.” There was never a dull moment. “I mean, Tony and Clint without adult supervision?” You joked. 

“Steve will be here!” She laughed. “I’m sure that he can keep them in line. Or try to.” She could picture Steve trying to reign those two in. “And Bruce will be here, too.” She really hoped that you would agree to a nice weekend away. “We can do a spa or something. Oh, haven’t you wanted to try out hiking? We can do that.” 

That got your attention. “I have been.” You mused. “Why not? Let’s do it.” You agreed. “Next weekend? So we can plan, and get some gear?” You were kind of excited for a girl’s weekend now, honestly. It wasn’t something you did much. Or…ever, now that you were thinking of it. Maybe it would be something that you could do more often. “Now let’s just hope that a mission doesn't come up.” You added, knowing that could always ruin any plans made.

After your training with Nat, you went to your room to shower. You were surprised to see Thor outside your door. “Thor?” You furrowed your brows. “What’re you doing here?”

He stood up straight as you neared. “Hello, Y/N/N. I was hoping I could speak to you?” He asked, hopeful. “Please, just for a moment.”

“Uh, sure.” You nodded, moving to open your door. “Want some water? Or I have juice, soda, and milk?” You offered as you let him in. There was no telling what he wanted to talk about. As you kicked off your sneakers, you heard him gently shut the door behind the two of you.

“Do you truly have feelings for me?” He asked. His eyes watched as you turned to face him, sighing. 

“Of course! Everyone saw it. I didn’t exactly hide anything.” You crossed your arms over your chest. What did he hope to accomplish by asking you this? Why bring this up? You’d spelt it out for him the night before!

Thor nodded, licking his lips. “And you bought that dress you wore last night for me?” He thought back to how you’d looked in it. You’d been even more breathtaking than usual. Everyone saw that.

“Yeah, I did.” You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” 

“You looked beautiful.” He said softly. 

You chewed on your lip. “Why are you here? Asking me this?” You asked. “Is this just because Clint was my ‘date’ last night?” That’s the only thing that made sense. Why else would he be there, asking questions that he knew the answers to? 

He went to say something, but JARVIS spoke first. “Miss, Mr. Barton is wondering if you’d like to go to the arcade for lunch. Pizza, he specified.” He added, making you chuckle. You’d created an image of what JARVIS would look like as a human in your head. So, when he spoke, it always amused you. You’d told Nat about it once, saying it was like Tony mixed with Alfred from Batman.

“Thank you, JARVIS. Tell him I’ll meet him in the lobby at about noon.” You replied, looking away from Thor. 

“You and Barton are getting close.” He noted. 

You looked back to him, confused. “He’s my friend.” You reminded him. “Why wouldn’t we be close?” You asked. “Are you going to make a comment about me having a girl’s weekend with Nat, Wanda, and Pepper, too?” You raised an eyebrow. 

He swallowed. “No.” He sighed. “Would you be opposed to me asking Tony if I may have that date he won?” If you told him ‘no’, he would respect that. However, he really hoped that you agreed. 

“Why?” You asked, even more confused. Was this some very weird jealousy? Did he feel he needed to ask you out because he wanted your attention, just to have it?

“Why not?” He countered. 

“What about Briana? You seemed to really like her. What, I’m spending time with Clint, so suddenly you want to take me out?” That rubbed you the wrong way. “If Clint hadn’t been my date last night, hadn’t spent time with me afterwards, and hadn’t joked about bidding on me…would you honestly be standing here asking me that?” 

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

Heart out Chapter 35

Warnings : , smut , talking about adhd, edging , sub!Matty . dom!George , sweetness , mention of injury and alcohol

This chapter is cute there’s a lot of George and Matty , Matty and Louis brotherly love , George bonds with Louis too and it’s so fluffy in parts

8k words

George’s POV

I woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the curtains, and the house rumbling with life. I rubbed my eyes as I adjusted to the light. I heard a slight groan come from the corner of the room and it was at this moment I realised Matty wasn't beside me and his side of the bed was cold indicating he had left a while ago

"Mattee?", as I sat up , I noticed Matty was in the corner huddled over his desk legs criss-crossed together on the chair, his left hand was wracking through his hair pulling it quite hard and in his right hand was a pen and a cig. "Matty you okay!" , I spoke a bit louder this time so he could hear me , It was slightly stifled by a yawn though

Matty span round on his chair and made eye contact with me, "good morning sleepy-head , how did you sleep?" , he dropped his pen on the table , and took a long drag of his cig.

"I slept great , what time is it?" , as I woke up a little more I noticed that he was dressed and looked like he'd showered.

"It's 9 darling , still fairly early, you can go back to sleep if your still tired" , he span back around to his desk and continued on with what it was he was doing.

"When did you wake up?", I flipped his cover off of my legs , swung them over the side of the bed, made my way over to him and flung my arms around him. "Come back to bed love"

He melted into my hug , "I woke up at 6, I wasn't feeling to great , I tried to get back to sleep for like an hour but it just didn't happen , so I thought a shower would help me feel better then decided to get on with some studying while you slept", he motioned toward the maths revision in-front of him. "But I'm just irritating myself doing this" .

I pulled him even closer to me as much as I could considering the chair being in the way and kissed his temple burying my head in his neck, "what's wrong my love, why aren't you feeling good?"

I felt him shrug as I held him. "Just a bit jittery I think, and my stomach is falling out arse for some reason"

"Are you anxious about something ?!"

He looked up at me then after pushing his revision sheets out of the way. "I think I'm just shittin it for my GCSEs , like I don't even want to do them anymore, what's the point", he went to pick up the revision papers again "like look at this what the fuck does this even mean, I've been studying this for three years and I'm still none the fuckin wiser..."

"Matty it's okay, let's lay down for a bit okay, just talk for a bit tell me what's going on in your head", I took his hand and helped him spin the chair round and led him back to the bed. "lie your head on my chest and just listen to my heart, it'll calm you down"

We laid down, myself against the headboard and Matty on my chest, I pulled him close to me and played with his hair at the nape of his neck. " Tell me what you need, what will  calm you down?"

"Seriously , I just don't wanna do my GCSE's anymore darlin". His hair was tickling the bottom of my chin as he was slightly shaking his head and his grip on me grew tighter. "I'm just terrified that I'm going to fail, and studying is supposed to help but it's doing the opposite it's messing with me head", his breath starts coming out hallowed and deep like he's trying to hold of from crying. "I just can't do it George"

"Baby...can you look at me for a second?", I placed my fingers under his chin to guide his face to look at me then swiped my thumb over his cheek to catch the slowly falling falling tears. "I promise everything will work out okay?, Would you like my help?, we can have a J and then bring your paper over to me and I'll help you through it , does that sound okay?"

He sniffles and wiped his face over with the sleeve of his hoodie, "are you sure, I don't want you to be bored"

"I wanna help you love , I don't want you to be upset about it" . I leaned over him to pick up my cigarettes from the bedside table that I had left there last night and pulled out a joint each from the packet "Here take this", I handed Matty one and leaned back over to grab my lighter , the joint was between his lips, I went to go light it for him but his hand came up and stopped me

"Gotta climb up on the windowsill and smoke out the window darlin" , I came out mumbled with the joint still in his mouth but I picked up what he said. I let Matty get up and climbed up into the windowsill and pulled him up carefully. He was situated between my legs with his back on my chest just like last night , the window was already open. So I flicked the flint to spark the flame and watched as Matty took a drag to ignight the ember. And did the same for mine. "Let this relax you yeh?, did you have any plans for today ey ?"

He relaxed back into the me properly as he lets the weed flow through him, "Eh , I think we might be going to Ross' tonight for drinks , end of year drinks you know , but don't tell my mum that it's drinks she won't be happy"

"Is that really a good idea though if your not feeling great ?," I took a drag of my joint as Matty exhaled and rolled his head onto my shoulder looking at me like I just said to most outrageous thing ever. "What !".

"I'll be fine by then and besides if I do ,it might help, might just , I don't know might clear my head, joints just make my body relax but alcohol will clear my head you know?"

"We'll then , if we go can you promise that we'll eat before we go, so you don't get sick, and if you need to go tell me , if you do feel like your gunna get sick let me know okay?"

"Okay", as we finished our joints we flick the ends out the window and Matty straddles my lap facing me. "George ?"

"Yeh love?", my hands find his waist playing with the pattern of the joggers.

"Why am I like this?"

"Like what , love?" , Matty hugs himself to me as he finds the right words to say, I can feel his tears dripping onto my skin when he began to cry again

"Just emotional all the time , if I'm not angry, all I wanna do is cry or I'm panicking and anxious about stuff, I'm only ever happy when your there, how insane is that , I can't even make myself happy"

"It's difficult sometimes to regulate moods you know, and having all the diagnosis that you have it's going to be even harder for you to regulate yours, and that's why you need meds to help it, and I'll do my best too, you know that right?" , I slide my fingers through his hair twirling the strands through my fingers and tugging ever so gently.

"I don't want to have to rely on medication George, I just wanna be normal, I wanna fell like other people, just safe in there head and just I don't know , good", as I'm tugging on his hair I can hear him sigh against me, his breath hot against my chest. "Baby...."

"You are normal Matty , you're your normal , I wouldn't have you any other way", I stop tugging his hair and lift his chin up with a finger curled under it "yeh?"

Matty take my other hand that's not under his chin and puts it back to his hair, "I like it when you do that"

"Like it when I do what", I asked playing innocent because I knew what he meant.

"I like it when you play with my hair darlin, maybe a bit too much" , he leans forward and connects our lips together both of my hands end up in his hair light scratching his scalp with one and pulling his hair with the other and I swallow his moans in my mouth. "Darlin...I can't be giving the neighbours a show right now". As we pull away from each other I pull his curtain closed part way so we're out of sight.

"Is that better love?", Matty nodded and leaned back in for another kiss being more forceful this time, not in a bad way , just more passionate. He grinded himself against me and we both moaned into each others mouths again, Matty's lips then trailed down to my neck nipping on the sweep spot. My hands found his waist again tugging on the bottom of his hoodie asking for permission to take it off "Go ahead Darlin". I pulled it over his head gently as he pulled away a little bit and I threw it on the floor.

"What do you wanna do Matty?", my hands trailed up and down his chest slowly, taking in everything, every freckle and mole, watching how his breath hitches everytime my hands slide lower. "Tell me love".

"I just need you to touch me Darlin, I don't mind how, I just need you" , his cheeks where pink with blush and his chocolate brown eyes had blown wide.

My right hand slipped down his chest past his stomach and pulled at the front of his jogger as I slipped into his trousers slowly starting to pump him as my left hand tangled itself back in his hair. "Like this love", both hands where he liked them, I swiped my thumb over the head of his dick and I continued to jerk him off, he rolled his head forward as it connected with my shoulder.

"Yeh...just like that darlin...thank you", I could feel him thrust into my hand as I pumped him faster. "Arghh...that feels so fuckin good". I pulled him back up to kiss me as I continued my movement, I slipped my tongue in his mouth tasting the cigarettes and weed that we'd just smoked. His thrusting got faster and but more relaxed and he grunted into my mouth the sound sending arousal right through me. "Darlin...can you..can you give me ...head ...please", the sentence punctuated with gasps every time he thrusted forward.

"Anything for you handsome, but you have to stay quiet okay don't want anyone to hear , yeh ?" , Matty nodded but I stopped the movement of my hand. "I need you to say it love"

"I will, I'll be quiet I promise , just please, I just need it, It'll help, I just need you to shut my brain up", An idea popped into my head just then not really sure if it'll work , I've heard this kind of stuff helps others just lose themselves so , I just tell myself we can try it but if he doesn't want it I'll stop.

"Love ?, can we try something , something I've heard that helps others ?"

"Okay , what is it ?"

"It's a surprise, just let me know if you need to stop , and tell me when you need to cum , can you do that"

"Yes ,yes , I can", he nodded enthusiastically at me .

"Jump down then , on the bed , strip down , but don't even think about touching yourself okay", as he jumped down from the windowsill I could see him watching me with a slight glint in his eye.

"What happens if I do touch myself" , I couldn't help the way my head just snapped up to look at him and the way my dick twitched in my trousers.

"Don't , or I'll have to stop you some other way" , that sounded strange coming from my own mouth but I've gotta play the part right and it's what he needs right now. I watched Matty strip down to his boxers from the windowsill. "And the rest" , he removed his boxers to and his dick sprang back against his stomach and I just sat in awe for a minute before I snapped back to myself. "Your so gorgeous Matty , standing there all pretty for me, but I need you to lie down" , and so he does , he lays down on the bed just waiting for me. I slipped down from the windowsill and skulked to the end of the bed just watching him.

"What now Darlin?", At that I set myself on the bed my knees either side of Matty's and my hands started roaming his body.

"Right I've got some rules now okay, first of all , if you get uncomfortable or want to stop, tell me straight away please , don't cum until I say or you'll be punished , stay quiet for me , if I say something please follow the instructions and lastly if I ask you a question you have to answer with your words , can you do that for me love?", Matty nodded with a shit-eating grin on his face already trying to be a little brat

"What did I just say Matty?"

"To answer you if you spoke" , my hand trailed down his body again and took hold of his dick again and I pumped him slowly a couple of times

"So , I'll try again, can you do that for me"

"Yes....yes....I can do that", Matty groaned as my hand got faster and his back arched off the bed. I leaned forward and kissed him passionately on the lips exploring the inside of his mouth with my tongue, I stopped my hand for a second, every so often just jerking him off and stopping, teasing him slightly. "George please don't tease ....I swear...I can't"

"Oh, I haven't even started yet my love", I kissed down his body , from his neck, across his shoulder occasionally leaving bruises , over to his chest, Matty was squirming under me, I eventually made my way down to his dick and licked at the head, it was bright red at this point.

———————————-x—x—————————————

"George ...George ....Darlin I can't....I can't do it anymore.....please" , we'd been at it for mostly ten minutes, I'd been edging him for a while now, getting him right to the edge of his climax and then stopping whatever it was I was doing to him.

"Do you want me to stop??", I asked around his dick as my mouth was still around it, my hands where running up his thighs that were now trembling.

"No....No...please don't stop....I'll actually die if you stop now....I need to cum now George....I don't think I can control it anymore....I have too" , his dick was twitching in my mouth , his legs trembling , mouth agape , knuckles white from how tightly he was holding onto the sheets. "George seriously please ....I'm gunna cum now...I can't stop it anymore"

I kissed back up his body continuing to leave hickeys and when I got to his face I whispered into his ear. "You can let go now handsome" , My hands found his dick one last time as my lips connected with his again, and just like a snap of an elastic band he came all over his stomach , white ropes all over the place and he moaned into his mouth. "That's it handsome , we'll done"

He lay there just staring at the ceiling when I sat back on my knees, "thank you, thank you , thank you , that helped a lot ...wow", I got up to go get something to clean him up but I felt his hand wrap around my wrist. "Don't leave yet please".

"I need to clean you up love" , although I know he needed to be cleaned up beofre it dried , those puppy dog eyes he was presenting to me right now, made it so hard not to just stay there. "I'll be right back sweetheart I promise"

"Promise?" , the grip that he had on my wrist wasn't that tight and he seemed a little hazy and just dropped it. I kissed his head and tried to fix his hair so it wasn't plastered on his forehead.

"I promise love", I quickly got a wash cloth and a glass of water for him and made my way back placing myself back onto the bed next to him. "Come ere sweetheart , can you drink this for me", I gave him the glass but his body still wasn't cooperating so I helped him sit up against the headboard placing some pillows behind him and helped him hold the glass as he took a drink. "There you go", once I'd placed it back down on the dressing table , I took the wash cloth and cleaned up his stomach . "Where will I put it"

"Just .....just eh...just drop it for now", so I did I just dropped it on the ground but on top of the shirt that he'd discarded ealier so it wasn't directly getting the floor wet, once I'd turned back to him Matty had his arms outstretched for me.

"Do you need a hug love?"

"Yeh , please darlin, I need to be close to you, know your still here" , I layed down next to him and pulled his body right over next to me and wrapped my arms around him tightly. Letting him rest his head on my chest.

"Where am I gunna go love, I'm gunna be here for as long as you need me to be sweetheart, How are you feeling now , how's your head"

"I don't have a single thought up there right now , other than you and that I'm hungry" , I pulled him infinitely closer to me if that was even possible

"Do want me to go make you something" , I feel him shake his head against me and mumble a quiet

"not yet , want to stay here for a while, I think I need to tell you something"

"What is it ?", my hand found his chin again and got him to look at me so I could see his eyes.

"I'm scared , for like when you have to go home, I won't be able to just feel better when I'm feeling how I was if your not here", he stopped talking to look at me properly, as I furrow my eyes brows "sorry that's stupid"

"No , no Matty , I understand what you mean , but even when I'm not here, I'm still going to try to help you the best I can"

"I know, Im sorry, I just feel like it's going to be a-lot harder to do it but , I'm glad I have you, I think I might love you"

I paused for a second as I heard the words leave his mouth , a did he his eyes grew wide as he also realised. "Matty , my love , I love you too"

Just at that we heard a knock on the door "Matthew are you boys decent" , Shit that's Tim we both scramble to get under the covers before Matty calls him in. He does come in tentatively blocking his eyes as well

"Dad it's fine where covered up, what do you need"

"Your Mum and I are on our way out and Loiue doesn't want to come with us so would you boys be able to look after him for an hour or so , you don't have any plans do you ?" , we both agreed in unison and said that it was all good we didn't have anything to do til later. He took a small look around the room , smiled and thanked us before he left.

"We should get dressed then handsome , come on, I'll help you if you need" , Matty nodded but neither of us made any attempt to move for at least another five minutes. He got up and pulled his boxers back on, and I crawled over the bed "hand me your jumper gorgeus" , He handed it over to me before pulling his joggers back on. "Arms up", I slid the jumper over his head and booped him on the nose . "You can pick my outfit out if you like".

This causes Matty to squeal and clap his hands in excitement "yes I'd love to", he runs over to my suitcase pulling out some clean boxers and a pair of blue Tommy Hilfiger jeans, a black t-shirt, placed them on the bed and then goes to the chair that had his jumpers on and picked up the blue Nike jumper that he'd given me "there I think this will work, anything would work on your really but here, I'm going to go downstairs say goodbye Mum and Dad , make us all some breakfast and I'll let you shower" , I kissed him one more time before we parted ways.

————————————x—x——————————-

Matty's POV

I gave George a towel before I went down , he should be in the shower now though , my Mum and Dad where getting there coats on getting ready to leave so I ran over to them and gave them a quick hug goodbye. My mum reminded my that if where inside that to try not smoke when Louis is around but we can take him to the park or we can have a smoke if we go outside so long as one of us is inside just the usual that she always says. I let her know that it's all going to be fine and she needs to worry less but just before they leave my dad reminds me to take my meds which to be honest had forgotten but I'll take them after breakfast. After they'd left I'd decide to make some beans on toast for everyone just as I'm doing that Loiue comes running into the kitchen already dressed carrying a million different toys in his arms "Maffu , you and George can play wif me today right since. Mummy and Daddy are busy?, right!", I turn around from the oven just in time because as I do I watch him drop all the toys onto the floor without a care in the world "I have all these toys to play wif"

"Kid you have to be careful with those , don't wanna break them do we", I walk over to him and lift him up so he's sat on my hips with his arms around my neck. "Do you want to sit down at the breakfast bar and watch Maffu make breakfast then when George is finished in the shower you can show him all your cool toys and we can have breakfast" , he nods at the as I place him down on a still at the breakfast bar. "Be careful remember"

"I remember, you fell off of this one time didn't you"

"When did that happen kid ?", I had fallen off the stools a month or so ago I'd had a few friends over and I had gotten pretty drunk and we were messing about and I leaned to far back and split the front of my head open but , I didn't think he knew about that.

"When you hurt your head , Rosso was here too and big boys and girls and I came down to see if Mummy was down here and I saw you fall off it" , I turned off the stove because I needed to check the he was okay , I would have done it sooner if I knew but now I just feel like an ass , my 7 year old brother shouldn't have had to have seen that. So I went over and sat next to him and played with his hair

"Was it you that got Daddy to help me ?"

"Yeh , Rosso was trying to get you up but you didn't get up , so I went to find Mummy and Daddy , Daddy woke up first and I told him that you where hurt, but Daddy said that I had to go back to bed and I fink he went to help you, I remember that Mummy woke up too cuz there was an ambulance too"

"What brave boy you are for getting dad , we're you scared" , he looked up at me now and he nodded and that's when I pulled him into a hug

"I'm always kind of scared Maffu, your the bestest brother in the whole wide world, and when you get upset or angry I get scared cuz that's when you end up hurt and I don't like that", I couldn't believe what I was hearing this kid is honestly too grown up for his own good and I hate that he understands how I feel because he's only little and shouldn't have to understand. "Like when JayJay went away, you went away too, you were never in the house for ages and I missed you a lot , and then you started getting sick all the time and I'm scared that your gunna go away to like JayJay did"

"Lou , I need you to listen to me very carefully okay, can you look at me for a second" , I loosen my grip on him so he can look up at me with his big hazel eyes. "I promise you that I'm always gunna be here okay , I'm always going to be your big brother, I love you most in the world and when I'm home you know I've got you , right. But I need you not to be scared, not to be worried about me. I know I get angry and I get sad sometimes but I'm doing my best to get better so I don't hurt anymore".

"Can I ask you a question ?"

"You can ask me anything Kiddo" , I pulled him back in for another hug because I just can't bare the fact that I'm the reason he's scared and It's just killing me knowing that if I can't get better for myself I need to get better for him.

"Why are you so sad all the time?, is it cuz JayJay is gone?"

"Thats part of it I guess but there's loss of reasons, sometimes my head just gets to messy sometimes and I can't make it feel good for a while" , I can hear George making his way down the stairs and as I'm holding Louis on my knee I can finally see George leaning against the wall that leads into the kitchen he mouths a quick "everything okay?" , cuz we must look a state, I know I was crying again and Louis wasn't far off. So I shook my head , not really.

"And is that why you get sick" , his little hands come up to him face holding it so where looking at each other. "Do you think maybe I could try to make your head not messy anymore cuz I don't like it when your sick and I just wanna make you better"

"You do help me kiddo , so does Mummy and Daddy and Georgie and Rosso and Jamie and JayJay helped"

"You was sad even when JayJay was around ?, Isn't she your best friend" , God bless him , I know he doesn't understand death very well but it's a times like these I really wish he did understand because then I wouldn't have to have these conversations.

"Yeh even when JayJay was here I was sad sometimes, Maffu just has something wired differently in his brain to some other people but we're fixing it and everyone is doing a great job , but you'll never guess who's here ready to play", I point behind him to George's who's still leaning against the door panel but has his arms wide open because I'm sure he can anticipate that Louie is going to run straight for him.

"Georgie , Hiiiii, come see all my cool toys", Lou climbs careful down from the stool and boulders right into George's leg hugging him tightly then grabs his hand leading him over to his pile of toys on the floor. This gives me a minute to collect myself and get breakfast started again

"Hiya little man , arghh is that a race-car", George pics up a few of the toys and put them onto the kitchen island and lifts Louie onto the stool again. "We should play up here so Matty can make breakfast"

"It's not Mahee it's Maffu" , hearing that makes me giggle , the amount of times I've heard this kid have this conversation because my family have always called me Matthew and kiddo hates it when people call me Matty. I think the only person he really lets do it is Ross.

"Am I not allowed to call him Matty?" , George looks at me with a smile and turns back to Louie and helps him start pretending to race the cars.

"No cuz he's not Mahee, his name is Maffu" , I turned around to watch them play after I'd plated everything up , I'd cut Louis toast into squares and his beans in bowl where as ours where just on plates. I passed them over and we all sat around the breakfast bar

"Hey Lou ?, Can you say MaTThew for me, remember like TTTHHH" , We were trying to teach him how to pronounce his T Hs in words but it was taking a little bit of time.

"That's what I said I said Maffew" , while he was crunching on his toast he was still playing about with his little red cat pretending to drive it up George's arm.

"Try this can you say thinking"

"Thhhh.thinking" , I gave him a high five before shovelling some beans in my mouth.

"That's it , now say Thinking This Through" , I know that's a little harder to say and he won't get it right away

"Thhhhfff...thhhinking , thhhis , fffffthhh frew"

"That's was nearly it kid , clever boy" , I couldn't help but be proud him for trying, I'm always so damn proud of him , "so boys how about when we've finished we have a trip to park".

Louie immediately agreed and George smiled nodding too, finishing the last of his food before going to the sink g and dropping it in "Matty do you want me to wash this ?"

"No darling it's okay , I'll clean them if you go help Louie clean himself up and get his shoes on"

"Sure thing" , Louie jumped down from the bar stool and took George's hand showing him where his bathroom was to help him get cleaned up as I began washing up the dishes and the rest of the kitchen, I'd just about finished the dishes I got a message from George.

"Louie doesn't want me to brush his hair says he wants you to do it" , of course , he rarely even let's my mum do it, I should have thought about that

"I'll be right up just gunna finish this and I'll be up just tell him to be a good boy and wait for two seconds"

I finished up the dishes and dried my hands, making my way up the stairs two at a time to get to the bathroom to help George out, I know how stubborn Lou can be having learnt from the best. "Hey kid, why you not letting Georgie do your hair," , he handed me the brush and sat down on the edge of the bath

"Cuz you do it right no one else does it right like you do"

"How about I show Georgie how to do it then he can try tomorrow?, How's that sound", George said that he'd love to learn because he wants Louie to feel comfortable with him so Louie eventually agreed to let me teach George how to do it.

"Right first I usually just wet it cuz he likes it to look a little wet , then you get the comb and go through the sides so that they look kinda flat right ?, then I get a towel or shirt , whatever I can find and scrunch the front so it's curly and I do the back the same , then you just put some gel and hairspray in it to keep it in the same then voila" , I step back and lift Louie up so he can see in the mirror so he can see and he claps his hands and asks me to put him down. Once I do he runs off to get his jacket. Leaving me with George for a second. He was awkwardly stood in the corner watching us interact "you okay darlin?"

"Yeh , he really loves you doesnt he?" , he pulls me in at the waist and kisses me softly. "What was happening earlier by the way , hope I didn't interrupt anything" , I could feel his breath on my face as he stood close to me talking to me.

"Nothing , We were just talking about stuff , I got really shitfaced a couple months ago and he saw me fall of the barstools cuz I was being a prick and split my head open and he was telling me that he was scared that I was pretty much going to die or so he thought" , I pulled George into me so I could hold him close. "But I promised him that I'm not going anywhere , I've got a feeling he might be a bit clingy today but don't worry everything's okay"

"He's your baby brother I'd expect him to be clingy love , I would never be worried about that my littlest sister is clingy all the time when I have people over so I'd expect nothing less."

Louie came running back through wearing his buzz light year hoodie and carrying his buzz and woody toys with him "Can I take buzz and woody with me?", They had his name written on the bottom of there feet just like Andy did in the film.

"Sure you can kid but don't forget them okay?"

"I wouldn't forget them Mathhhhew , there like friends aren't dey" , he put them under one arm and stretched his other arm out, indicating he wanted me to lift him so I lifted him up onto my hips again as we made our way back downstairs George trailing behind smiling at the interactions. After I'd slipped my own shoes on we made our way outside

"Hey kid , do want to bring your bike" , he shook his head under my chin, so I just carried him in one arm and stretched my hand out behind me so George could take my free hand as we walked to the park. Chatting away to each other

—————————-x———————x————————-

"Wanna smoke Darlin", we've been sat the park for about 45 minutes now , Louie found a friend to play with , we're sat on the ground underneath some tree well out of sight, we can still see him though, so it's the perfect time for a fag.

"Yeh go on then love", this is the first free minute we've both had since saying we'd look after Louie so it's a good a time as any to have one.

"You know I love the kid but sometimes I get really overwhelmed and overstimulated looking after him, cuz my senses are all over the place", I take my fag from the packet and light it up in seconds watching as the embers glow under my finger tips.

"Is that an ADHD thing?" , I was sat next to George but was trying to manoeuvres myself into a better position so I could lay my head on his lap

"Is what an ADHD thing?"

"How quickly you can get overwhelmed, like, it's not a bad thing, but I've realised stuff with you, you can go from 0-1000 like dead quick" , as I lay down across his legs his free hand made its way to my hair again.

"Maybe, it's just I feel things a little more intense than people like what you said ealier it's harder for me to regulate feelings , but that's cuz the feelings I have are 10 times stronger", we both took a drag of our cigarettes basking in the peace for a second, the grey smoke making an angelic like halo around us making me feel safe.

"Can you tell me more about it , your ADHD, so I can understand it better, I haven't really spend a lot of time around someone who has it and I just want to do things right for you, what helps you calm down when your frustrated or upset?"

"Compression and force like giving up control really helps, taking control away from me, like someone making a choice for me instead of doing it myself or like if I'm freaking out hold me like really tight with you arms right around my chest, it gets me to focus on breathing and just trying to calm down my dad had to do it a lot when I was younger". I looked up at him then as I spoke so I could gage his reactions but he's just looking at me too and he looked interested, and like he actually wanted to know so I kept going, "that's why earlier when we did what we did , or I should say , when you did what you did, it helped so much really , it took away every single thought was running around in my head , took away my control left me completely under your control that helped so much, I've never had something like that to shut my head up fully other than drugs or alcohol and it felt really good to finally have something good"

"I'm glad it helped , I didn't tell you ay but I uh came too , like a fuckin 14 year old in my boxers because of it like what the fuck is that about", the blush across his face and the smile to match just had me melting at the sight. "So um what like frustrates you most, or what do I need to keep an eye out for like triggers that show your frustrated"

"We'll uh , I can't say I have specific triggers but it really bums me out when people don't try to understand me like , you know, I argue with people very often and I don't mean to they just don't seem to understand where I'm coming from or I can't communicate how I feel properly , that's why school sets me off , the teachers don't always get it and my attention span can go to bollocks really fast if I'm not interested in the class or I don't understand it" , after I'd discarded my cigarette I couldn't help but fiddle with the end of my T-shirt to keep my hands busy so I don't end up flailing them around. "I just feel the need to be constantly stimulated you know , and when I feel myself slipping, that's when I tend to go off the rails a bit like you know , doing something drastic to keep my brain going and a lot of the time I do know it's the wrong thing but I can't help it, and it's when people don't understand that, that's when I'm like well "fuck this then" and I get all hopped up and angsty, but I also frustrate myself too, when I can't concentrate on things that I really want to do or when I get forgetful and all that there's just quite a lot" , George pulled me into a hug and just held me close to him for a second I could feel his heartbeat through out shirts.

"Your amazing you know that right ?, and I'm so proud that you do everything you can to make it through everyday, and I can't sit here and promise I'll get it right for you everytime but what I can promise is that I'll always be here and always help you through stuff. You just have to let me know when your struggling okay !"

"Thank you Darlin , I'll try my best to always keep talking about how I feel" , just as we were finishing up our conversation Louis came running up to us , asking if we could go now because he was getting tired and had to go to the bathroom. He was still grasping onto his toys when he came over but was missing his hoodie. "Where's your jumper Lou?"

"Oh ....uh....I don't know I think it's on the climbing frame, I'll go get it", he passed me over his toys and ran back over the climbing frame to get it and met us half way back. "I don't want to wear it right now, It's to hot"

"Okay kiddo , Do you think it would fit Matthew ?"

"No it's to small for you silly", I carefully put it on , it was like 7 sizes to small but I still got into and I lifte him up in one arm and took George's hand with my free hand again as we made our way home, On the way George whispered in my ear that I look cute wearing a buzz light year hoodie and it made me laugh.

It took us all of ten minutes to get back and Louis was asleep in my arms already so as we go in I had to wake him up because he said had to pee before we left the park "go toilet kiddo then we can all have a nap yeh" , he just nodded and ran off as George and I took our shoes off .

"I'm not tired Matty I only woke up like 3 hours ago, but if you boys need a nap I'll make lunch or something?" , George places his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest so my back was against him and kissed my head.

"Just come sit with us yeh, I'm shattered but I'll still nap a little better if your there"

"Are you sure ?"

"Please ?" , Louis came down stood at the bottom of the stairs watching us cuddle up.

"people kissing is yucky and silly , really silly" , he jumped off the last step and pulled my arm with his on his way to the living room so we could nap , pulling me right out of George's grasp , I mouth a quick "sorry" in his direction but he just smiles at us and follows us through and we all cuddle up on the sofa to peacefully have a nap even if George didn't want one.

——————-x——————-x———————————

It was 3 o’clock by the time I woke up , Louis was running circles round my Dad , which made me realise my parents where back, George was wrapped up around me drifting off but not completely “Hiya Darlin , are you drifting”

“Nuhh”, he pulled me closer to him, “it’s just cozy down here”, and nuzzled his head into my neck “when we going to Ross’ place”

“I don’t know darlin , we can go anytime, Why ?”

“Wanna change, it’s damn hot up in here and I’m sweating like fuck”, he pulled the jumper off and I then could for sure that he was melting and come to think of it, I was too.

“We’ll we can both change and then go over and help set up” , I heard him agree, he got up a couple seconds later taking my hand and dragging me with him to my room. “What you thinking of wearing then darlin!”

He was already rummaging around his suitcase for something. “I brung a shirt with me but I’m not sure it’ll work though”

“Darlin , it’s just a party, you don’t have to be dressed up” , I slide open my wardrobe hunting around for a t-shirt and my red tartan trousers. I found a black polo neck sweater. I saw him pull out the shirt from the suitcase and a different pair of blue jeans. I pulled off my t-shirt to change but I notice George watching me and when I look up to see him and his head snapped back to where he was looking in the first place. “You don’t have to be shy darlin, especially not with me”

“I’m not shy , just don’t wanna be pervy do I, and uh….I don’t wanna uh….get like worked up again, we need to get going don’t we” , I slid over to him carefully and put my arms round his waist and softly kissed his neck

“We don’t have to go right away Darlin….we can take as much time as we need…and beside I wanna make it up to you for ealier”, I heard him groan right next to my ear and I attached myself to his neck again. “Would you like that darling ?….to pay you back for ealier….make you feel good” , his hands took hold on my waist and his head lulled forward into my shoulder

“Mhm” , I pushed him carefully into the bathroom and kicked the door closed behind me, I pushed him up against the door and quickly pushed his jeans down. “Slow down love, you don’t have to rush, come ere” , his hands found my face and pulled me in softly to his plump lips, I slowly slid my hand down his body and my hand found his dick tenting in his pants, I palmed in softly and I heard him groan. “Matty, your hands are magic”

I pulled back from the kiss and began to pull his top off, kissing his neck leaving hickey after hickey a trail all the way down his body till I reached the hair that sat just above his boxer line. “Can I?”, I was on my knees and looking at him through my eyelashes. “Please let me”

“Yes my love, please go ahead” , I pulled his boxers down his legs and licked all the way up his length his hands immediately found my hair gripping tightly, I wrapped my lips around his head and I heard him moan my name, like music to my ear. I began to bop my head around him slowly at fist until his head hit the back of my throat and I slightly gagged around him pulling back a little pulling off with a pop

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to push you that far”

“No darling, I promise it’s fine, you can do it a little harder if you want” , his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he pushed me back to what I was doing my lips wrapped around him and began sucking him off again with more vigour this time my cheeks hollowed out and let him hit the back of my throat a few times before going back to concentrate on the head. The noises I was pulling from him where amazing, his legs buckled a little bit before he pulled on my head. “I’m gunna come Matty, Can I uh….uh” , I know what I was going to say so with a few more licks , and my lips wrapping round him again I nodded moaning around him indicating he could come in my mouth. It took a few more pills and he was moaning and coming down my throat, I swallowed it all and pulled off of him wiping my mouth the back of my hand, leaning back on my heels

“Was that good for you darlin” , he was slumped agains the door, his hand under my chin and his thumb slid over my bottom lip.

“More than satisfactory, my love” , he helped my up, and he threw my arms around him. “Let’s get dressed love before we start anything else”, that made us giggle “I’ll get changed in here so there’s no more funny business ay?”

“Sure thing darlin”, we stood in each others arms for a few more minutes and I felt his lips connect with my forehead and he patted my arse. “Okay okay , I’m going”, I skipped out the door and gave him the clothes he took out before he closed it and we go to changed.

——————x———————-x—————

THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE PARTY

[bluejaysandblackbats]

If There’s Nothing Missing In My Life…

Fandom: DC Comics, Superfam

Summary: Newly-emancipated popstar and child actor, Conner (screen name: Lucky) navigates high school and stardom on his own.

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Conner Kent, Lois Lane, Roxy Leech, Rex Leech, Lois Lane, Clark Kent, Hillary Chang

Additional Tags: Highschool AU, Celebrity AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Exploitation, References to Depression, Conner Kent Needs a Hug, Conner Luthor, Lex Luthor is Conner’s Parent, Childhood Trauma, Self-Confidence Issues, Teen Angst, Angst, POV First Person, No Powers AU, Conner Kent-centric, Bisexual Conner Kent, POV Conner Kent, Protective Lex Luthor, Child Celebrity AU

Chapter Four: Visiting Hours

I awakened to a knock at the door at five a.m. and left the bathroom floor to answer it. I came face-to-face with my dad and had to stop myself from getting emotional. "Are you gonna stay a while?" I asked. He nodded. "Wanna stay here?"

I welcomed him inside, and he felt my forehead. "You've got a fever... Did I wake you up?" Dad questioned. I nodded and took the medication the doctors gave me with water. "You don't have a rash, do you? Did you know-."

"The doctor checked, Dad. I don't have a tropical illness," I whispered, "I ate turkey that'd been left out overnight."

It was comforting to have him around. I lay on the couch, and he draped a blanket over me. "Your apartment's nice... How do you like living by yourself?" Dad questioned. I was shocked that he asked. I'd been on my own for nearly three months, and he never once tried to talk to me about my living situation.

"I like it here... I should probably learn how to cook, though," I joked. My dad laughed and messed up my hair.

He went into the kitchen and started throwing stuff out for me. I would've argued with him, but I started feeling sick again, so I went back to the bathroom. When I came out, my dad was gone. I thought he'd left for home, but I saw his suitcase by my bedroom door. I smiled and lay down on the couch to take a nap. When I woke up, he was in the kitchen cutting up vegetables. "Dad? I shouldn't-. Dad?" I called him.

He stopped what he was doing and sat on the coffee table across from me. "What's wrong?" Dad asked.

"I didn't do this because I learned I was adopted," I confessed. Dad frowned and felt my forehead.

"Let's not talk about your emancipation... Let's talk about something else," Dad suggested. I frowned.

"It's a closed adoption... I can't find them-."

"I didn't want you to," Dad interrupted. He stood up and went back to the kitchen. We argued about it once before. I thought he'd tell me if I asked him nicely, but he was still as stubborn as he'd been four months ago.

"Why are you so stubborn? Why can't you tell me who they are?" I asked.

"Don't upset yourself," Dad muttered. I glanced at my phone and looked at all my missed text messages.

"Are they alive?" I asked.

"Stop," Dad warned.

"Do they have other kids? Or am I the only one?" I asked.

He slammed a pot down on the counter. "No more!" Dad yelled. I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to act like my blood wasn't boiling. I wanted to tear into him, but I knew if I did, he'd leave. "You're not mature enough to leave well enough alone, Conner. What makes you think you're ready to know who your biological parents are?"

That was it. I snapped. "You're just scared I'll love someone that's not you!" I screamed. "Why can't you answer a simple question without getting defensive? Why do you insist on being the only person in my world?"

"Because the world is dangerous, Conner! The world will chew you up and spit you out, and they won't apologize! You are naive, and you have no life experience-!"

"Because you made me this way!" I hollered. I wanted to be louder and angrier than he was. I wanted to hurt him. "You made sure I'd never grow up, and now that I'm taking care of myself, you can't stand it!"

"You're barely alive! You gave yourself food poisoning, Conner! And your new manager? He's a crook who isn't qualified to wipe his nose, let alone manage the career of a teen celebrity!" Dad yelled. "And you're so stubborn and childish you don't see how stupid this is! You're throwing a tantrum because I won't give you your way! That's what this whole emancipation thing is about! Do you see how trivial that is?"

I pulled the blanket over my head again and shut him out. "And now you're retreating like a child!" Dad continued.

"Shut up!" I yelled. He won. I hated that he felt the need to rub it in.

I put my headphones in and listened to music to calm down. I stayed like that until my dad finished making dinner. He crouched down in front of me and lifted the blanket just enough for me to see him. He asked me something, but I couldn't hear. I took out my headphones. "Do you think you can eat?" Dad asked. I nodded. Dad made a bowl of soup and sat with me, eating as if we hadn't argued. I could only eat a bit of soup before I started feeling nauseous, so I lay down and turned the tv on. "I sounded like my father... Conner, I shouldn't have done that to you. I can't tell you who your biological parents are... But if something changes, I'll let you know." He reached for my hair and hesitated, and I placed his hand on my forehead. His hands were always cold like a doctor's.

"Conner, when you were a little boy... Before you started acting and singing, you said you wanted to live with me forever... I've pushed you away, haven't I?" Dad asked.

I didn't know how to answer. "You can't protect me from everything, you know? I've gotta grow up. Don't you wanna see if you did an alright job teaching me right from wrong?" I asked. He nodded.

My feelings were hurt, but I didn't want to cause another argument and risk him leaving. "Conner... I-."

"You never yelled at me when I was a kid... Everything's so different now that I'm older," I whispered. Dad ran a hand over his head.

"Conner, I don't-. I can't-... I can't do this again. After this weekend, I need to let go," Dad whispered.

"What are you-."

"I have to let go because I'm not gonna be able to accept this otherwise. We should spend the rest of the year apart," Dad replied. He made an impossible suggestion. I couldn't argue with him because that'd be admitting I still needed him. I didn't say anything. I shut my eyes and pretended I was asleep. I couldn't make any sense of what I felt. The more freedom I had, the more I wanted to be a little kid again. I felt like he pulled the floor out from under me. I felt as if I was losing my dad.

My stomach didn't settle long, and I was back chained to the bathroom by nightfall. Dad knocked on the door, and I didn't answer. "I'm gonna go to the store and see if I can get you some Pedialyte," Dad announced.

I didn't want to talk to him. I especially didn't want to talk to him with my face in a toilet. He was gone less than twenty minutes before he knocked on the door a second time. "I'm going to leave it on the coffee table. Let me know if you need anything," Dad cracked the door to speak to me. I gave him a thumb's up.