#i wish we could go back to the animal jam days where we had to say very vague approximations of things and hope it got our point across

[shit-wcue-players-say]

alright geez i wont chill out

[yeenybeanies]

Hi so this is gonna be weird but I need to freak out about ur g/t au. I love it sooo much you have no idea.

I just wanted to ask, since in a tweet you said giant bones are hollow, does this mean they follow bird bone rules? Like hollow but still dense to provide strength?(for example a bird and mammal that are roughly the same size will have a very similar weight despite the mammal having solid bones!)

Also it is believed that hollow bones help with air circulation during flight via pneumatic sacs connected to the respiratory system located in the bones themselves. So (if your giants follow this rule) does this mean they have amazing "lung" capacity? I imagine that their proportional lungs already compensate enough for the oxygen requirement but it is interesting to think about the implications. Being able to hold their breath for longer? Heavily oxygen saturated blood? How buoyant would they be?

Another thing I thought of! You already addressed the calcium requirement, but do your giants also need extra collagen? Since collagen is a primary component in bones and ligaments (and a bunch of other stuff but i need to keep mostly on track) and provides structure to your bones and joint support.

Anyway. That's all for now. Im sorry for the long message. I wish I could blend your AU and drink it. Also science is my jam. Thank you for your content!

this is a super fun ask!! thank you for bouncing biology ideas off of me!!

under a cut bc we get a lil long here:

so, to your first point: i'd like to point out that i'm going off of what we've seen in the past with dinosaurs, wherein these huge creatures had hollow bones to reduce the weight they would otherwise be carrying. i will admit i arbitrarily picked a weight scale factor for giants (12x instead of 15.6x), & am working in the hollow bones/additional air sacs/slimmer build in to make that work.

that being said! i would agree that giants have a (proportionally) different lung capacity than humans! probably bigger, more efficient lungs (taking advantage of those extra air sacs), which would help their metabolic efficiency. given their slower metabolisms ,too, i would wager that giants could probably hold their breath for a bit longer than humans.

hippos, which outweigh my giants, & are also fully warm-blooded, can hold their breath for about 5 minutes at a time. so, somewhat arbitrarily, i'd say that giants can maybe hold their breath for 5-7 minutes at once. still longer than a human for sure, but this ties into another question of yours & point of mine:

i have it in my mind/headcanons that giants in my au cannot swim well. they're somewhat like other great apes, like chimps, in that they don't maintain a lot of body fat––at least not so much to offset the density of their muscles, so they are more likely to sink in water, despite all the evolutionary adaptations to keep them light-weight. i touched on this a little in one of the MitB chapters where ghost & soap were bickering about ghost's ability to swim, where he asserted that he could, which wasn't common among giant kind. those that are dedicated can swim––ghost is able to & does know how to swim––but it is incredibly strenuous & exhausting & not sustainable.

which does tie into another aspect of giants! while they are undeniably bigger & stronger than humans, they don't have as much stamina. it's kinda impossible to maintain the same degree of stamina that humans have evolved at a giant size. so, while giants do have relatively more stamina than the average mammal, humans can still smoke them in terms of distance running. so, the the olden days, humans would wound & chase their prey animals into giant ambushes, where humans would chase the animals to exhaustion into a team of giants that would then take them down, or pursue them in the last few miles until they fully dropped.

moving back onto your points!: collagen! i find research on the consumption of collagen to be dubious at best, & have had college professors tell me that collagen "supplements" are just a bunch of bs, so... idk, i feel like whatever requirements giants need to maintain themselves is largely found in their diets. they do have very fibrous diets (mostly plant matter), & eat most of the less desirable parts of animals, like skin & bones.

but hey!! thank you for the ask!! i love thinking about stuff like this!! even if some of it has to be hand-waved, it's still fun to consider in a way that might make it semi-realistic!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #226

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Uh, maybe? Not that I remember.

What’s your favorite season of the year? Autumn.

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? My mom's is the beginning of next month.

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? I've spoken about how my sister stole $100 of gifted money from me behind my back and I only know because of my mom. I don't like bringing it up because I'm still bitter as hell she never said to my face "hey Brittany, I need help with bills, can I pay you back?" or anything like this. I don't think she even knows I know.

Do you like sour candy? I love sour candy.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Absolutely not.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Somehow.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? Of the two, mornings. But I tend to do later in the afternoon.

Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No.

Do you tend to fall for players? No.

Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? Mom, every day. I haven't spoken to my dad in a while.

Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? No, but I got my Covid vaccine. I SHOULD get flu vaccines, I just... can't be bothered. That and I don't like LONG needles going into my skin. Covid was too serious a threat to not get vaccinated.

What’s the last restaurant you ate at? It was some Mexican place Nicole took Mom and me to. It was pretty nice, I just can't remember its name.

Double dates: a do or don’t? I think they're fun, but I'd certainly advise one-on-one dates, too.

Do you know any guitarists? Yes.

Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? My immediate family doesn't associate with one of my mother's brothers because he's pure fucking garbage that disgraced his dead mother's wishes as to what would be done with her money. He lied, evaded, and greatly risked being sued if we actually wanted to. He's rich filth.

Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? Neither, realistically. If I move in with Girt like I want to one day, we're gonna have two cats since I have one and he has one, and I don't want to start out in a house with three cats to deal with; I might never want three cats. Pet dogs aren't my thing, but I'm sure we'll have one when I live with Girt again, because he is a GINORMOUS dog person, so if he wants a dog, he can have a dog.

Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did.

Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? Nope.

If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I will never fucking ever work in retail ever again.

Have you ever stringed green beans before? I feel like I did this at Colleen's in-laws' once...?

Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Yes, that's what happens when you spent too long neglecting your teeth. Deep cleaning HURTS, especially because in my case they had to do an injection into the very roof of my mouth, which was my most painful experience ever with a needle. I had two wisdom teeth taken out but we couldn't afford to put me to sleep, but that was just more scary than painful, because obviously I was numbed to hell, just the jarring sound of your teeth breaking (my bad one had deep cavities and this made it break into quite a few pieces) is extremely fucking unpleasant and because you obviously expect pain, it's a very strange and shocking experience.

Do you shop at any independent music stores? No.

Which flower is your favorite? I have a lot, honestly... Orchids, hydrangeas, roses, specifically pink tulips, hibiscuses, etc.

Have you ever picked wild flowers? I know I have as a kid to give to my mom.

Have you ever walked through a forest? No, not a true forest. Just woods around my old house.

What was the last wild animal you saw? Some bird.

Have you ever seen a mountain in person? Yes.

Do you prefer jam or butter on your biscuits? Jam.

Have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? Yes.

Where is the last place you went to as a tourist? Charlotte.

What country do you most want to travel to? South Africa.

Do you prefer to read in bed or in a chair? A chair on the back porch, but if it's too hot or humid, I read in bed.

Have you ever kept a physical, hand-written journal? Yes. I regularly did this the many instances I was hospitalized.

Which season do you think is the prettiest? Autumn.

What style house do you want to own? I don't even know house styles, man...

Would you rather swim in a lake, a river, or the ocean? Ocean.

Would you rather play in the snow or the rain? Snow.

Have you ever pressed flowers or leaves into a book? No.

Have you ever found a four-leaf clover? I've found multiple. At one of our old homes, we had a patch that had a mutation apparently and it continued to reproduce so we had quite a bit.

What did you do the last time you hung out with your best friend? I watched him play some of the Elden Ring DLC and we cuddled in bed for quite a while.

Have you ever taken an art class? All available semesters in high school (there were either three or four), plus lots of photography through HS, college, and even beyond, and a painting course in college.

What is your ethnic background? Basic white bitch. Just German, Irish, Polish influence that I know of. We don't really know my dad's heritage.

Do you like coffee? I've hated every coffee I've ever tried from anywhere.

What was the last thing you wrote by hand? An appointment in my planner.

Who did you last worry about and why? Myself, honestly. My last psychiatrist appointment was extremely eye-opening and scary, but in a way that was needed.

Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Not actively, but certainly passively. Mom and I hate it here, A LOT. Girt sometimes looks at places, and I have no idea if he plans on taking me with him immediately when he moves. I... hope, but it's not my place at all to push him about it. I feel it'd be wise for him to establish himself first, but I can't help hoping we'll just move right in together.

When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? Probably sometime I was at Girt's for some party. I have in VERY few cases enjoyed his mother's cooking. I can't pull this off well, though, and by this point they're so familiar with me, I don't really do this; my face and general bodily reactions are SUPER SUPER FUCKING TELLING if I don't like something despite my best efforts, and they know this about me by now. They know my pickiness and intense reactions to food I dislike aren't things I have control over, so they at least say they don't mind.

Last time you heard a growl, who or what did it come from? Our dog because she heard something outside.

When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never.

When did you last see the sea? It's been many years.

Do you apologize a lot? Yes, I'm absolutely one of those people who gets told "stop apologizing" and stuff.

Is there a gang problem in your area? In my city, yes. Among locals, it's known for crime, like murder and a lot of shootings.

Would you date an already attached person? No, only monogamy would work for me. I KNOW I would get jealous in poly arrangements and be convinced they don't actually love me; I DO believe poly people can absolutely love all their partners, I just know I would have problems remaining confident in my OWN poly relationship.

When you marry, will you wear white? Probably not, but possibly.

Could you date someone who’s only been your friend for a long time? Ha, this is literally mine and Girt's story. Ended up being a fantastic decision, so.

Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? I think it's generally better to let it find you. However, I wouldn't say it's always a BAD idea for any person imaginable to seek it out, especially depending on lifestyles, like for people who basically never go out and interact with others. They deserve love too if they want a relationship, and it'll be hard to find UNLESS they make an effort.

Have you ever learned an important lesson as a result of a breakup? Oh for sure. Anyone who reads these probably knows about it.

Do you or would you ever wear fake eyelashes? No.

When was the last time you slept in a tent? Not since I was a child.

What was the last television show that you sat and watched multiple episodes of? Uhhh... I'm not sure. I only ever really watch TV with Mom and rarely Girt, so... oh. Maybe The Floor.

Is there anything significant happening this month? This month is almost done. No.

When was the last time you had a Poptart? It's been maybe like... two+ months?

Do you like hot chocolate? Totally.

What’s your favorite Michael Jackson song? Maybe "Billie Jean." There's a cover of "They Don't Care About Us" that I adore, but I've never actually heard the OG.

When was the last time you got your hair done professionally? Like a month ago, to dye it lilac.

Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No, that sounds excruciating.

Have you ever read anything by Edgar Allen Poe? Of course.

Do you like horses? Yeah, I think they're extremely majestic and deep animals.

Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Yeah, I literally have one in my bedroom.

Do you know anyone that has been held hostage before? No.

[lonelyfanboy48]

Steven Universe Of The Creek Chapter 21 Jam Buds In Creek Daycare

The group arrived at the Creek Daycare, where Jessica was playing on her own without the other kids. Angel Jose had been keeping an eye on the kids since they’d arrived at the daycare this morning. He heard everything from Jessica’s point of view of what happened to her brothers, even if she didn’t go out into the storm last night. When the owner of Creek Daycare took notice of Craig and his friends, he immediately took notice of the pink lion by their side. He rushed up to the group in a microsecond which took them by surprise.

“Craig.” Angel Jose walked up to Craig. “No pets allowed in the Creek Daycare.”

“Thanks for informing us but…he’s not my pet.” Craig pointed at Lion.

“He’s my pet.” Steven filling in. “But sure, we'll keep him away from the daycare.”

“You must be Steven Universe.” Angel Jose smiled. “Jessica told me about you along with the spread of information going around in the creek.”

“If you’re worrying about him turning pink, don’t worry, it won’t happen here.” Connie added.

“We’re only here to check up on Craig's sister.” Sparkle Cadet said.

“Today was a wild turn of events.” Kelsey replied.

“Seems you had a marathon of episodes today.” Angel Jose placed his hands on his hips. “I’m sure there won’t be an episode of chaos here.”

“We'll make sure of that.” Steven replied as Angel allowed the group inside the daycare.

“Jessica.” Craig called as he witnessed his sister playing with her stuffed animal, Small Uncle.

“Craig?” She turned her attention, while noticing Steven and his girlfriend by his side.

“You’ve been playing with your stuffed animal alone?” Steven wondered.

“Yes…” She lowered her head. “Though I knew you were staying. Bernard told me when I woke up.”

Steven wishes he would try to patch things up with Bernard later, but he’s unsure if he’s gonna handle being around him if he’s willing to spend a day with him. Especially since he has a big pink lion which could scare him by chance. “Do you want me to play with you?” He offered.

“I would, but it feels awkward that you’re here instead of being a hundred miles away.”

Connie then walked up to Jessica which took her by notice. After listening to Steven’s story upon arrival with Lion, the only option she has is to give comfort to the ones who are involved in the situation. She leaned down to Jessica’s level, placing her hand on her face.

“It’s never a bad thing though.” She smiled. “I’m Connie. I was Steven’s Jam Bud when we were children, stopping corrupted gems.”

This caused Jessica to smile a bit. “I guess it’s not really a bad thing to have company from him.”

Connie then took notice of Jessica’s stuffed animal. “I didn't really have company before I met Steven. Your stuffed animal’s good.”

“Thanks. He's my favorite stuffed animal.” She handed Small Uncle to Connie as she got back up on her feet.

“Do you always play with it?”

“Yes, I always take it with me almost all the time.”

“I had stuffed animals when I was young, mainly when Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl weren't around.” Steven added. “Believe me, I never knew I was that lonely back then.”

“You were also lonely?” Craig asked.

“Them being the protectors were more important than taking care of me unfortunately.”

“Seems you being alone is almost how I’m feeling right now.” Jessica replied. “Minus my family stopping corrupted gems. If I knew what a corrupted gem is.”

“Don’t worry Jessica.” Craig smiled. “If there were a corrupted gem here, the creek wouldn’t be safe for any of us.” He then placed his hand on her shoulder. “Then again on the plus side, you would’ve seen what Steven’s really capable of. Including Connie.”

As Connie gave back Jessica’s stuffed animal, Kelsey continued to eye Connie's scabbard on her back. She really wants to see her in action with her sword, but in a time like this, very unlikely.

“You know that shield that he showed you yesterday?”

“Yes?” His sister nodded.

“He actually teleports it out of thin air!” J.P. smiled as Steven used his powers, revealing his shield, catching the attention of not only Jessica, but also the other kids, including the owner who reacted the moment he saw the shield.

“Oh no! No! No!” Angel Jose jumped into the daycare. “No weapons allowed!” Just when he took the shield from Steven, it disappeared in a flash. “What the?”

“Sorry, it was part of my powers but I wasn’t gonna harm anyone.” Steven replied.

“Just because I agree with others that you’re less harmful, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to show kids weapons.”

“He’s right.” Sparkle Cadet said. “Not really a great idea to do that here.”

“Hey, is that a sword?” He pointed at Connie’s sword. “I draw the line of that, give me that sword!”

“NO!” Kelsey jumped in front of Connie which took her and others by surprise. “She won’t use it here at all, don’t take it away!”

“Kelsey, the kids would see that. They never ignore curiosity.”

“Please, her sword’s a one of a kind!”

“She didn’t even show it to us.” Omar replied.

“It’s still one of a kind!”

“She’s right but don’t worry, I’m not gonna use my sword here.” Connie replied.

“No weapons involved.” Steven filling in.

“We’re keeping the kids safe.” Craig added.

Angel Jose took a deep breath while being as nice as possible, despite the rules he made at the Creek Daycare. “Okay, just make sure you don’t say anything when they ask you about it.”

He went back outside of the daycare as Connie looked down at Kelsey. “Thanks for helping me out but…you’re getting a little too excited.”

“She’s that into you being a sword fighter.” Craig replied.

“Maybe after we’re done here, can you give me sword fighting lessons?” Kelsey asked. “I would really appreciate it.”

Connie bites her lip, remembering she didn’t come over for sword fighting lessons. “I don’t know about that.”

“Connie, we didn’t know you would be coming but, it’s probably gonna be the only time you’re ever gonna be here.”

“Craig, even if I’m willing to stay longer, it’s only for an emergency for Steven. With you having pink eyes, I don’t know what’s gonna happen next.” She then leaned down to Craig’s level. “Also, giving a kid sword fighting lessons won’t make a difference. I may know how to fight with a sword, but I’m still in college studying.”

“I would probably stay in college rather than being a sword fighter.” Jessica replied.

“True, but the point I’m trying to make is there was always a serious situation which always involved a battle.” She then turned to Kelsey. “If we had our enemies that involved the gem war itself, maybe I would train you.”

Kelsey looked down on the ground. She didn’t want to be greedy, but on the other hand, she may never get another chance to be trained with an actual sword fighter. Craig saw the disappointment in his friend, but with everything he went through over the last night, she wouldn’t resist if it was Connie out there fighting.

“Steven will be around for the next few days.” He turned to Connie which she turned back. “The thing with that is, we don’t even know if he’s ever leaving due to…what you said about pink eyes.”

“Obviously.” J.P. commented.

“But my friends had fun hanging out with him and Kelsey didn’t get a chance to do an activity with him.”

“I’ve been thinking about what place I wanted to go since we’ve been doing that today but since you’re here, I couldn’t help myself.” Kelsey replied.

Connie admitted she grew a liking to Craig’s friends, which is always the price of checking up on Steven. “If you can find a place that feels like we’re practicing, I might reconsider.”

“Thanks.” Kelsey smiled. “I would show you my Super Secret Book Club but-”

“We have a few hours left Kelsey.” Craig replied. “I might want to take Steven to at least one more place before we head home.”

“How about I pick the next location?” Omar offered. “Or at the very least, have Steven met one person I’m aware of?”

“Okay then.”

“I was gonna say if she was interested…and willing to come over tomorrow.” Kelsey lowered her head.

“I saw her doing a book cover at the library days ago.” Steven smiled. “But that’s up to you.”

“If I have the time tomorrow night, I’ll come over.” Connie smiled. “Then again, I missed what it’s like being in a book club before I headed to college. Been working on my studies triple time, and I haven’t read a book since.”

“You will like my book, Fire & Ice. I just finished the cover yesterday.”

“I would think of something to take you but, let’s just say Small Uncle doesn’t want to come back to the specifics of the Creek.” Jessica said.

“Big time.” Craig agreed. “Is there anything else going on with Benard when you last saw him?”

“Her girlfriend took him to her place along with friends to calm him down. He might be back home at sunset.”

“We still need to inform the parents…who didn’t notice me staying there overnight.” Steven remembered. “As if it wasn’t enough for me, making sure everyone’s okay with me around.”

“Hey, at least there’s no negativity here.” Sparkle Cadet smiled.

“But I can’t avoid it tonight.”

“I’ll make sure they won’t take it hard.” Craig replied. “We should probably go now to where Kelsey wants to go.”

“And after that, we should do my thing.” Omar added.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go out spreading more positivity. It was nice knowing you.” Sparkle Cadet said, lifting her hand up.

“Make sure you check on anything suspicious. That’s the least amount of positivity we need.” Connie said.

“As in, preventing negativity.” Steven shook Sparkle Cadet’s hand. She left the Daycare as the group’s ready to leave with Kelsey taking the lead.

“I’ll also help tonight if you need it!” Jessica called.

“Thanks!” Steven called back.

“You’re not gonna help out?” Craig turned to Connie.

“I would, but I really need to sleep on time to get ready for tomorrow. Plus.” She pointed at Lion. “They won’t allow him inside.”

“And I’m sure Bernard would have a panic attack if he saw him.” Steven added.

“Okay, just me, you, Jessica, and my parents in my house tonight.” Craig replied. “We need to have you stay for at least a week.”

“You think that’s enough?” J.P. asked.

“I don’t want to go too far, he may have to find another apartment.”

“Let’s not focus on tonight, let’s just enjoy what’s left of the day.” Steven said. “Is the place we’re going to feel more wisdomic?”

“It’s what I need when it comes to swordsmanship.” Connie added.

This gave Kelsey an idea for what location she and Connie can go to. “Maybe there is a place full of wisdom.”

[pumpkinbeep]

Red, I found it on a third story windowsill

Both are good

Ofc. Spaghetti is litti

More often than I used to be

Kinda trapped waiting and procrastinating

Idk fandom ones? Art, birds..

It's not graceful but I haven't drowned yet

Yes I force water every day

Is funnel cake like chimney cake?

Have you ever, ever felt like this? Do strange things happen? Are you going round the twist?

Bass is definitely sexier

I think there was one where James Nesbitt had his bum out? Probably that one.

Honestly, I don't know? I'm probably like hella old compared to you & idk if we got anything in common

Yes, every day/night

So far being attack hugged in an elevator by a certain actor ORRR maybe just knowing someone was dead ahead of time?

Oh fuck there are some really good ones! Uhhhh Stranger Things / F is for Family / Dead end

Drawing

Rarely

Zombies all the way.

Have you listened to Bon Jovi?

Kevin from the backstreet boys maybe??

Rocks and crystals and sea glass and broken pottery

Tired, repressed, frustrated, creative, goofy

💗✨that I am not a burden.✨💗

Not for lack of trying

Why not?

Depends on my ability to concentrate. Neurodivergent gang!

Baby shark sparks joy

Costa chocolate fudge cake

Do you have a favourite dessert?

Yes, I have a scar.

Idk, I enjoy a nice pen tho.

Rn its Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

Peace and love man

*you're English literature lol

For different things or just waking up??

Fark YES! We call them charity or 2nd hand shops here

It was the name on a cool design i think Ashley Niccals(?) got the adopt and it just makes me happy

Plenty. "You can't pour from an empty cup" is a good one.

What's your favourite thing about winter?

Uuuhhh..is "I wanna hold your hand" one of theirs?

Over ear headphones. The world is too noisy

I felt safe sometimes.

Lots of things. Cards, pens, magnets, pins, shot glasses, autographs

Earl grey

Santa baby

Book stores, they smell so good

I don't think any of them are weird?

Old books, shoe polish, wet paint, my dog who smells like popcorn, leather on a tall, dark & handsome man

Is there a place you wish you could go back to?

1. Who looks after you when you're sick?

2. What's your favourite soup?

3. Favourite state of USA?

4. If you could visit any country, where and why?

5. Do you still have a favourite childhood toy?

6. Is there a book you read again and again?

7. Favourite literary character?

8. Favourite holiday tradition?

9. Favourite way to listen to music?

10. Do you say scone or scone?

11.. Do you speak any other languages? /which would you like to speak?

12. Most ridiculous insult?

13. Oddest food combination you've ever eaten?

14. Cream or jam first?

15. Favourite cryptid?

16. Marvel or DC?

17. Do you like eggnog?

18. Favourite hot drink?

19. Last thing you ate?

20. Favourite flower?

21. Do you have any memories that you're not sure if they happened or were a dream?

22. Have you ever seen a ghost?

23. What's your current fixation?

24. Do you write or read fanfics?

25. Favourite horror movie?

26. Guilty pleasure?

27. Favourite non dog/cat animal?

28. If you could make any law effective immediately what would it be?

29. Are you on the toilet rn?

30. Did you have fun?

weird asks because i’m bored

if you have a lighter, what color is it?

pepsi box blue or cheetos bag orange?

do you like pasta?

how often are you on tumblr?

are you only doing this because you’re bored?

what blogs do you mostly interact with?

can you swim?

have you had water today?

which do you prefer, cotton candy or funnel cake?

have you ever [insert question]?

bass or drums?

favorite tv commercial?

can we be friends?

do you admire the clouds and color of the sky?

what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?

a netflix series that’s your favorite?

an earliest obsession you remember?

do you play video games?

zombies or vampires?

have you listened to [insert musician/band]?

your first celebrity crush?

do you have a collection of cool rocks?

five words that describe you?

what have you learned about yourself?

can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

do you believe in aliens?

books or films?

an unusual song that’s your favorite?

the last thing you ate?

do you have a favorite [insert question]?

have you gotten bit by a dog?

do you write better with a pen or a pencil?

a song that gets stuck in your head?

when you hear “ peace ” what do you think of?

a school subject your good with?

how many alarms do you have set?

do you shop at thrift stores?

what’s the meaning behind your url?

is there wise words you live by?

what’s your favorite [insert question]?

you gotta have a favorite beatles song, what is it?

earphones or a speaker?

what do you remember from your childhood?

do you collect anything?

favorite tea?

a christmas song you secretly like?

book stores or record stores?

how weird were these questions?

what scents do you like?

is there [insert question]?

send me some!

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

ALL CREATURES GREAT, SMALL AND SHELLED

One hot Saturday in May almost nine years ago The Wife, The Kid and I opened the garage door, planning to go to lunch, and saw an impossibly cute chihuahua with black-and-white superhero markings wandering up the sidewalk across the street. The Kid and I coaxed her to us, and we took her to the Humane Society, where we determined she didn't have a chip. She was wearing a collar (no tag), seemed well-fed and was friendly and fearless, so it seemed like somebody loved her, but her origins remained a mystery. I hate to think about what her previous person or people may have gone through if she went missing.

I wish I could tell that person that she lived with us from then on, that from day one she acted like she owned the place, held her own with two other weird chihuahuas, and brought us inexpressible joy and fun. We gave her the name Sadie, which seemed to fit her perfectly. She was feisty and bold and rambunctious and mischievous but deeply affectionate; she loved a belly rub. She hated the sound of fireworks. I doubt that anyone else will ever make me feel as important as she did by the way she greeted me whenever I came into the house, barking in a loud, proclamatory way, as if to make it clear what a significant event my arrival was.

Sadie departed this realm Friday before last, after a struggle with kidney disease. Peace and joy eternal sweet little creature; we'll miss you terribly.

Some memories:

Here she is early on in her time with us, after a minor foot injury; doesn't it seem like Lily, in the background, is gloating?

At the animal hospital on Camelback we took her to, we spent hours with her seated in a big common area, where you couldn't help but overhear and invest in everybody else's pet crises. Most memorably, near us was a guy holding a beautiful Russian tortoise which was--cringe--impaled on a stick, a nasty splintery rotten-wood shard jammed between his neck and his right foreleg, going in how far it was hard to say. The staff got x-rays and were calling other clinics that specialize in reptiles to consult; they were understandably afraid that if they just yanked it he'd bleed out. For all I know the poor thing might have been in terrible agony; tortoises have a pretty stoic manner.

I finally couldn't resist asking "How did this happen?" as the guy sat waiting, looking distraught, and he shrugged and said "He just came out of his burrow that way." I guess he must have kept him in his back yard? Anyway, after Sadie took her leave of us and we were walking out of the place, blubbering and sniffling, I saw that they had the poor tortoise on a procedure table, and one of the aides was drawing lines on his carapace based on the x-rays.

This past weekend we went back to pick up Sadie's ashes, and I asked the woman who brought them out if she knew what became of the tortoise; she said he survived!

[lexallisonthailandtrip]

Another perfect day in paradise. We woke up early again for the sunrise and walked on the beach. We are pretty much going to sleep and waking with the sun, which feels right. But also means that we’re going to sleep at like 8pm. Our bungalow faces east, so it’s ideal for the morning sunrise!

After the stroll on the beach, we walked up the steps to the restaurant next to our accommodation and got a coconut and a coffee before breakfast at our place even opened … Then walked across the driveway to eat our daily breakfast of fruit smoothie, mango and sticky rice, and pancake with fresh fruit. This is the life!

We started to go down to the morning yoga session at the nearby resort, but locked the door without the key to the scooter and the lock jammed! We walk-jogged down, but the session had started and we didn’t want to interrupt, so we went for a swing and sat by the beach, and a second beach stroll down to a little island and found a bamboo stick to hit rocks with, and a soccer field with a ball!

After that we went and got the key to the scooter, and a second scooter, and went north to Long Beach. 2 scooters today! It was fun and challenging as part of the route is dirt road, but an amazing ride through the tropical jungle, past a bunch of rubber trees, and the best beach yet.

Long beach was completely empty, just a few people stopping and parking their scooters. We walked to the end and passed one other couple, and sat to watch a hermit crab walking around on shore, and a fisherman pull crab traps set along the shore up to his long tail boat.

After a bit we rode back to town and ate lunch at the same spot - couldn’t stop thinking about the Thai coffee from yesterday. Lex got the crab stir fried in pepper with rice, and Allison got some French fries and fried tempura. Insanely good food for incredibly cheap.

We looked in a couple shops then went back to our place… then decided to walk down to the beach again. At this point Allison started making the joke that we’re exactly like Ken in Barbie, and all we do is “Beach.”

It is Christmas Eve! So we decided to take some baht to the market to buy gifts for each other. We have a tradition of finding an ornament, typically from a thrift store, to hang on the tree each year. We rode to the market, got a scoop of coconut ice cream, each walked a different direction then met back at our restaurant after 30mins. This island is primarily Muslim, so there isn’t a ton of Christmas celebration going on, but our hotel made tiny Christmas tree centerpieces for the tables at breakfast and most places in Thailand love Santa! He is everywhere. It’s also kind of cool that everything will be open on Christmas Day! Just got a bite to eat from the restaurant next door and they also have a Christmas tree set up. It feels strange to be away from family, but also reminds us of a few years ago during Covid when it was just the two of us.

…I walked over to grab dinner and bring it back for both of us, and on the walk back a black cat tried to follow me in to the bungalow! He was just a kitten and reminded me of when I first met Charlie. I kept him out on the porch after a few head scratches to stop his meowing, and moved a mat onto the porch chair for him but he chose to lay down right next to the door. I just walked back to the door to see if he was still there and he ran over meowing again. Wish we could keep a Christmas kitten!

According to ChatGPT: In Thailand, a meowing black cat is often considered a symbol of good luck and prosperity. It is believed to bring positive energy and fortune to those who encounter it. This belief is rooted in Thai cultural superstitions, where certain animals are associated with auspicious qualities.

A wonderful sign for Christmas and the new year. We’re watching elf now and going to sleep - getting ready for a visit from Santa! 🎅🌲

[kiridarling]

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

request | Can I have royalty au (soon to be king bakugou) (and soon to be queen reader) , katsuki and reader are supposed to be getting married (not to eachother) but they end up sneaking around and doing IT with eachother so top!kats , exhibition , begging , dumbification and spanking THANK YOU💞💞

this lovely request was submitted for the kissing booth event (the rest of the drabbles come out soon, ahem :)) so, if this was your request, um...hAHA whoops.

katsuki bakugou | f!reader, royalty!au, infidelity, nondescript!fiancés, angst (gasp), fingering, exhibitionism, dumbification + more! minors dni!

— 3.7k words

“C'mon, princess...can I make you feel good once last time?

You're getting married.

No more ignorance is bliss, no more I didn't know any better—this is when you put all your childish antics to the side and fucking woman up, now in charge of the safety of your kingdom and its inhabitants and whatnot. So yes, you must snuff all your adolescent tendencies, and that includes sleeping with the Crowned Prince of the neighboring kingdom behind your fiancé's backs.

But, boys are stubborn. And stupid.

Ding ding ding!

"Excuse me, Everyone!" Your fiancé announces to the crowd in your dining room as he stumbles to his feet, spoon clinking against his glass. He nearly trips, but no one sees except yourself. "I would like to make a toast."

You frown. This wasn't a part of the rehearsal dinner.

"First of all, I would like to thank you all for being able to be with us tonight," he says, shoving the glass higher in the air. As red wine splashes over the rim, you think to remind him that isn't a toast, it's the beginning of a speech, but your comments have rarely deterred the man in the past. "As you’re all aware, this marriage is vital. Not only for our kingdom, but for the neighboring kingdom as well."

Your fiancé regards the Bakugou’s with a lift of his chalice. In the coming weeks, two arranged marriages will melt the four most influential kingdoms into two, and your fiancé and his family had the genius to throw a massive Gala to celebrate it. You wouldn’t be surprised if they got off to the idea of stretching themselves so thin their hair falls out at age thirty; they won’t even allow you to choose the type of dress for your wedding.

"I would also like to thank my lovely, lovely wife, for just being so... lovely.” Your fiancé chuckles, accompanied by an uncomfortable massage to your shoulder. The guests find amusement in how whipped he is as he gazes your way expectantly, conceivably wishing to see you swoon at the compliment. All you give him is a blank face. His elation falters.

"You know, when I first met this woman, I knew she was going to be the love of my life," your fiancé shakes your glare off. You purposely block out the rest of his story in favor of folding and unfolding your napkin again, puffing under your breath at the cheesy comment.

"Sap," you grunt to yourself, obviously. You don't expect anyone to hear, but there's a snort to your right. Your eyes lift from your lap—and straight into Katsuki's smug blood red ones. He winks at you from across the table and your eyes roll at that, though there's a small smile playing on your face that's impossible to hide.

"Isn't that right [Y/N]!...[Y/N]?"

You blink yourself back to life, eyes reluctantly leaving Katuski's hypnotic ones for the pair that make you nauseous, "Oh—u-um, yep!"

The place bursts in laughter and there's even a little smile dancing on Katsuki's face. He catches you staring so your eyes divert to your lap, but his remain a physical force against you for the rest of the night.

*selene — the greek goddess of the moon

The balcony is much nicer than the ballroom.

For one, it's the farthest place you could have gone from the commotion, all the way on the opposite side of the castle. It's a solid five-minute walk when you aren't in heels and a heavy petticoat, but it provides a lovely view of your front yard, subjecting you to watch the early-sleepers leave in their carriages to call it a night. Meanwhile, *Selene watches you from her telescope the moon with a sigh and a sad smile, because she's the only one who knows how completely and utterly alone you will be.

You glare at her—the goddess doesn't waver.

Bitch.

It's no secret that Gala’s like these get overwhelming—especially when you're the center of attention. You see Lord Shinsou (Earl) stuff the eager Lord Kaminari (Baron) into his silver-plated carriage before looking around to ensure no one saw, and blanche upon seeing your figure stood on the balcony. You salute so he knows his secret is safe with you, and relief washes over his face before he too hops into the carriage. What a scandal, you giggle.

Plenty of couples resign home after that; it makes you uneasy. You're unsure as to why, but you have the ever-increasing urge to nip at your fingernails until you don't have them anymore, and jamming the sharpest point of your heel into the concrete seems like the only proper way to release enough kinetic energy before you explode.

"He loves me."

He does, embarrassingly so—so what's the issue?

There isn't an issue; there shouldn't be. He reminds you how pretty you are and you compliment his influence. Neither of you are marrying down. You look good together. The kingdom's future power couple if you will, where you two supposedly mold the great future in your peculiarly young hands. There isn't an issue. You're the one for him, and he's the one for you.

The balcony door whines open. You don't turn around, praying whoever it is will see that it's occupied and turn the other cheek. Yet, the stomp of whoever's boots only grow louder until you’re adjacent to a shadow of a being, his chin lifted towards the stars. You catch a glimpse of blond hair, though dyed a pale white by the silver moon, and you two stand in a strangely comfortable silence, watching carriages roll out of your driveway.

The silence doesn’t last for long, though. It never does.

"D’ya always go disappearing like that?"

You frown. "What?"

"I don't fuckin' know," Katsuki grumbles—he has yet to look at you. Seems like Selene captures more than one person's attention tonight. "Blinked and you were gone."

Your frown only deepens, and you return your attention to the courtyard. "I didn't know you were paying attention."

The ash-blond presses his forearms against the railing for support. "I wasn't. He was."

Oh.

"Said he wants you to come back, so," Katsuki clicks his tongue, carmine red eyes finally flicking your way through the darkness. You don’t dare look at him. “You run off often, or what?"

"Tell him I'll come back in a second," you sigh, balancing your face in your hand. Katsuki says nothing, but he doesn't leave, and you hate that you don't mind.

Until he points towards a couple crossing the lawn and says, "Oi, that's the Duke from my fiancé's kingdom. Fucker tried to poison my dad for the throne—straightened him out real quick.”

"Why are you talking to me?" You snap like a cornered animal. Katsuki lifts an eyebrow.

"What? I can't have a goddamn conversation?"

"I—" your chest rises and falls with a reason to why he can't, but you can only come up with one—and you don't want to think about it.

"Listen. I don't like these things either, alright?" He huffs defensively, so defensively that you have to take a step back. "If I have the opportunity to get some fresh air, I'm gonna fuckin' take it."

You shrug, supposing it makes you one and the same. The wind blows, not harsh, but harsh enough to ruffle your gown, and make the gold jewelry decorating Katsuki's tunic jingle.

“So. I guess this is it, ain’t it?”

You sigh, “Katsuki, you know we—“

"Yeah yeah, that's all you fuckin' say," he growls bitterly, and you blink in a poor attempt to find where the animosity came from. His face twists in an ugly way as he sits his hands on his hips, nose scrunched to mockingly pitch his voice that doesn't sound like yours at all. "We can't, we shouldn't—"

"Because we shouldn't!" You nearly shout, and Katsuki jumps from how quickly you raise your voice. "Because—because if we get caught, we're fucked. And I can't go to sleep terrified that I'll wake up to an exposé tomorrow morning and get beheaded by the afternoon. So...please. Just stop."

Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"You don't love that asshole."

Your throat feels tight—much too tight to be comfortable, and your chest rises and falls with disbelief as you search for the words before you can talk again, eyes never dropping from the stars. You've had this conversation, fuck, you have it too often; often enough to know that he would say those exact words, and enough to know precisely what you'll say in response.

"I love him, Katsuki."

"No, no you fuckin' don't," the ash-blond chucks a laugh and it's nothing short of acrid, his words eating away at your skin more than you'd like them to. You sigh, resting your forearms on the railing too.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Always gotta be so goddamn emotionally unavailable, huh?" He growls, glare set on the mountains presented in front of you. You feel his suit jacket hit your freezing shoulders, unaware of the cool temperatures until you feel the cloth brush against goosebumps. It’s your turn to laugh bitterly.

“Careful. People might think we’re getting married to each other.”

“One day you’ll let me fuckin’ live,” he grunts, and your eyes meet for the first time. His usual red is dyed a deep purple by the moonlight, their usual hardness traded for something much softer. “Can’t even give you a jacket when you’re shivering like a goddamn leaf in the wind.”

You give him a look of utter exhaustion because you’re tired—tired of all this running around and hiding, the secrecy. It eats at your insides like a caterpillar does a leaf, knowing that you go to sleep every night to a man who’ll barely touch you, but at the same time, feeling guilty that you don’t need nor want him to.

“Why are you here?”

Katsuki clicks his tongue. His warm body settles behind yours, close enough to feel the warmth but not close enough to feel him. “You looked lonely.”

“I thought my fiancé told you to get me?” You ask, raising a suspicious eyebrow. Katsuki rolls his eyes, his arms settling on both sides of yours.

“He did. But I didn’t refuse the damn request either.”

“You saw my loneliness all the way from the ballroom. What an eyesight,” you scoff. Katsuki’s eyes narrow, but it’s clear he’s fighting a grin because you’re a little shit who loves giving him a hard time. The ash-blond’s chest rises and falls, and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“You know what I mean.”

You snort, tilting your head to the right. You suppose you do.

“And I’m marrying a bitch,” he adds to his list of grievances, his hands finding yours to gently play with your fingers. You nod in agreement. A bitch she is.

“And...I’m really going to fuckin’ miss you.”

It might as well pass for nothing but a breath, eyes trained on your held hands. His chest suspends like he has more to say, but his teeth tear at the inside of his cheek before he can. “I—fuck, I get it, okay? I’m a selfish asshole—“

“This doesn’t have to do wit—“

“And I really, really need to get my fuckin’ priorities straight. I mean, they are, just not in the way they should be.”

“Hey,” you chastise, shaking his hands for his attention. “You can’t control who you love, okay?"

Katsuki grumbles at that but you refuse, turning around to look him in the eyes.

"And neither can I.”

You let go of his hands in favor of pulling him down via his cheeks and giving him a big fat kiss on the lips. It’s peckish and brief, but it’s sweet and gets your point across. It's comfortable.

“The hell was that for?” Katsuki asks once you pull away. Though you see him struggle to hide a grin, eyes squinting more than they should.

“Easy,” you say, stepping forwards (as if there’s any space for that), “You looked lonely.”

Katsuki snorts, dropping his head, “Bastard.”

“And I’m being married off to an asshole,” you lament, pulling his face so close to the point you’re sure the strain on his back has got to be anything but sexy. He accommodates anyways—Katsuki always has; and night seems to suspend along with his baited breath as he waits for the next line, eyes shining with a painful hope you’re about to confirm.

“And I’m really, really going to miss you,” you say, shaking your head at how utterly true that statement is. Fuck.

The vulnerability slowly fades from his eyes at that, and Katsuki hums, clammy hands finding their rightful place around your hips.

“You shouldn’t call him an asshole, you know,” he says, face inching so close you can smell the champagne on his breath. “He means well.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” you quip back, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki shrugs, and you don’t realize he’s backing you up until your back kisses the cool railing.

“Well. I can’t help but feel a little bad,” he says cheekily as he inches closer, “‘Cause I make you feel so good, don’t I, Princess? Last time I checked, better than he ever could.”

You scoff at his audacity though it’s all good-natured, eyes preferring the moon over his heated gaze as he turns you around to face the courtyard.

“Ah, ah,” he tuts, redirecting your attention using a finger on your jaw, “Eyes on me, Princess. You look really fuckin’ pretty under the stars, y’know.”

You snort at the compliment, rolling your eyes.

“‘M serious. A fuckin’ goddess,” he growls, leaving wet kisses up the column of your neck. Your breath hitches as he reaches your sweet spot and sucks, and you’re swatting him away before he can leave a mark.

“I sai—“

“One last time, Princess,” he bargains lowly as his hot hands slide their way from your waist to your breasts, taking their sweet time. Katsuki hooks his chin on your shoulder. “Lemme—Can I make you feel good one last time?”

You’re nodding with a whimper before you can berate yourself for being so fucking easy, the thought of not being able to indulge yourself with this, with him, any longer tosses any and all resistance out the window.

“Good,” Katsuki hums, tweaking your nipples through the bodice. “‘M gonna pay you back for being so good to me, yeah? For puttin' up with all my shit."

You scoff, mouth dropping to tell him you weren't putting up with his shit, but then a warm hand lands on your thigh—somehow, he's found a way under your dress. The hand slides up inner thigh and you feel Katsuki's chest shudder against your back as he finally reaches where you need him most.

"K-Kats—"

"Shhh, you don't want them to hear us, do you?" He grunts, pulling your panties to the side. You shiver from the change in temperature, watching another Duke and Duchess of half-drunkenly stumble into their carriages for the night, before there's a crack of a whip and hooves beat towards the exit. It's only a reminder of how painfully exposed you two are—one glance towards the balcony and any onlooker would know exactly what's happening. You hate it.

You hate that you don't.

"Atta girl," Katsuki purrs, groaning as he inserts a finger. You shiver, the weight of his being practically trapping you against the railing. "Always so fuckin' tight. I swear that asshole never fucks you right."

Katsuki's never been an impatient man and fills you with a second finger awfully fast, chuckling when you bite into the meat of your palm to hold back a whimper. His hips start to grind against the puff of your dress and he groans as quietly as he can, carelessly shoving down the sleeve of his suit jacket to bite into your shoulder.

You let out a broken moan much too loud for this time of night and it prompts Katsuki's free hand to stuff an equal amount of fingers into your mouth. "Y'know, something tells me you wanna get caught. You want the whole world to know how much you fuckin' hate that bastard, huh?"

You choke as Katsuki slides in a third digit next to the second, the slap of his palm against your pussy becoming nothing but obscene as your slick accentuates the sound. His hips speed up against your ass and that's enough friction to have the ash-blond groaning, along with the spit that drips down his forearm.

"So dirty for me, Princess," his hips stutter when you push back, tongue laving over the bite mark you'll probably have to conceal in the morning. Asshole. "You wanna cum like this, don't you? You're gonna cum all over my fingers in front of the entire royal court. Dumb little girl, can't even keep her mouth shut to keep us from gettin' caught."

You jam your heel into the balcony concrete so hard you positive it cracks before you're coming all over Katsuki's fingers, nearly choking on the ones in your mouth as you release the loudest broken moan you have that night. Katsuki's hips stutter against you and you're positive he's filling his boxers from the airy moan that follows, and his hand goes limp in your mouth before it slides out completely.

Your chests balloon in unison, his body draped over yours, and as you two catch your breath under the moonlight, you can’t help but think how much you’re going to miss this.

"Run away with me."

"I—" he does this. He always does this. He makes you feel on top of the world, acting like everything's fine, and then he pulls this shit on you. You look everywhere but him, nearly scoffing in disbelief. "Katsuki—"

"C'mon, Princess," Katsuki scrambles to flip you by the waist until your back is flush against the railing again and he’s cradling both your hands in his semi-damp ones. There’s a look in his eyes you don’t like, and it makes your chest burn. "Across the sea, people are movin’ over there and I—I know someone there, okay? Someone we could stay with, maybe help us get back on our feet an-and I found a fuckin’ ferry guy to take us across, and I can even pay him a little extra, o-or you, or—"

"Katsuki," you give him a sad smile, squeezing his hands tight. There's hope, too much hope in his eyes and it's fucking blinding. "Running away? I—this is—we have an obligation, we can't jus—"

"It'll be fine," he insists, stepping forwards and squeezing you back twice as hard. You sigh."I—the two kingdoms can merge or whatever the fuck they wanna do and then we'll be—"

"Katsuki."

"I—fuck Princess, I don't beg but goddammit, I'll do whatever you fuckin' want, get on my knees, I ca—"

"You really want to know what I want?"

Katsuki freezes. It's the first time you've ever seen some semblance of emotion in him that isn't anger or lust, with carmine red irises swimming in unshed tears—and fuck, you hate the sight. You want to shoot yourself in the fucking foot for what you’re about to do, but it’s for the best. It always is.

"Love her."

Katsuki looks at you, and his face drops, chest shuddering.

"I can't."

You drop his hands in favor of holding his face, thumbing at the hot tears running as they fall. God, Katsuki’s pretty—too pretty for his own good and he doesn’t even know it. His unsteady hands find themselves massaging your ribs and your foreheads knock together. "You need to try. Love her as much as you love me, yeah?"

"'S fuckin' impossible," Katsuki says with a wet snort, shaking his head with eyebrows raised. You giggle, throat impossibly tight.

"Almost, then? For me."

Katsuki’s red eyes stare at you through the darkness. You have half a mind to look the other way, but you figure you owe him this if nothing else, and as he lovingly absorbs your being under the moonlight for the last time, you really wish you could take your words back.

"I'll...fuck. Fine. I'll try." Katsuki resigns with a shrug, shaking his head. You two sniffle in unison and you suppress the strange urge to pinch him. "'M not gonna try to get over you, though. Sorry, not sorry."

You roll your eyes at that but it's all good-natured, followed by a choke you struggle to hide as his arms coil around your waist, "Then I won't either."

A genuine grin spreads across his face, and it’s borderline giddy—and a stark contrast against the waterworks. "She finally fuckin' admits it."

"Figured it was about time," you give him a wobbly smile before your eyes flicker to his, red blurring from being so close. Selene looks upon both of you with a reminiscent sigh.

"I love you, Katsuki Bakugou."

Katsuki sniffs before he laughs; it's wet, and near bitter, and he pulls you so close your face nearly shoves into his chest. "Fuck. Fuck, you're an asshole, you know that?"

"This is when you say it back," you bargain, squishing his cheeks. Katsuki presses his forehead deeper into yours.

"I love you too, Asshole."

He speaks with a softness you've never heard and it's like a gunshot to the heart, and as his lips inch closer to yours as your hands slide to thumb at his ears. One last kiss wouldn't hurt, would it?

Until there's a whistle and the click of footsteps. You and Katsuki jump a mile apart.

"Oh, [Y/N]! You're still out here in the cold?" Your fiancé asks with a raised eyebrow, but it seems like that's only an afterthought as he turns to Katsuki to say, "Your wife’s found the alcohol."

"Great," the ash-blond groans, understanding the translation—your fiancé is piss drunk in the ballroom.

"I do recommend you take her home. She's making quite a mess of the eclairs. And her face."

Katsuki heads inside without giving you a second glance, and your fiancé gives him a solid pat on the way in before turning to you halfway through the doorway, "Are you coming inside, Darling?"

"In a moment," you say with a smile. Your hand never leaves the railing. "Just getting some fresh air."

"Alrighty, then. I'll be in the bedroom. Waiting~" he winks, and with that, he's spinning on his heel, and you're alone with the moon again.

You watch Katsuki guide his inebriated fiancé into the carriage lovingly, with a smile on his face that isn't quite the one he wears with you but close enough, whispering whatever pleases her at the time with a chaste kiss on the cheek. You feel comfort in knowing that he has someone to love and someone to be loved by. He doesn't look your way—not once.

It's not until they drive away that you realize you still have his suit jacket draped over your shoulders. You don't doubt he did that on purpose, either.

Asshole.

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[ericsonclan]

Mom, Dad, I’m…

Summary: Duck works up the courage to come out but things don't go exactly as planned.

Word Count: 1683

Read on AO3:

Duck stared up at the ceiling as his right hand absentmindedly spun the parts of the Rubik’s cube. His mind couldn’t stop thinking about that first kiss that he shared with Dylan, or the second one. He could still remember how his heart tumbled around in his chest. Duck wasn’t surprised at all about what had happened. He had always had an inkling about this. As he continued to mess with the Rubik’s cube, Duck’s eyes wandered over to the wall where a large poster of Nightwing stood looking badass and cool and totally highlighting his ass.

“Should’ve known,” Duck sighed and lifted up his Shaggy figurine. “So, what’s the game plan here?”

He knew he’d get no answer but he really wished the toy would talk. It would be awesome if this could be like Toy Story . Then again with the condition some of his toys were in maybe it was better that that wasn’t the case.

Still, he wanted to tell his mom and dad. He always told his mom everything and as for his dad, well, he always seemed busy with stuff but still, he’d make time if Duck asked him. Duck’s mind started to spin with all the possibilities of how to go about things and how that might go down. What if his parents didn’t accept the fact that he was gay? Or maybe only his mom would? His dad seemed to sometimes struggle to understand things. He knew his dad had nothing against it but still, it wasn’t like he really got it either.

“UGGGHH,” Duck placed his hands over his face and tried to take deep, cleansing breaths. His mind already had a million things a minute but now it was stuck on all these potential outcomes and it felt so full. It was giving him a headache. But he wanted to come out to them; he just had to come up with the perfect plan. Duck knew if he had a few days he could come up with a master plan.

He never came up with any plan at all.

In fact, he had simply asked his mom and dad if they could talk after school today with him because he had something important to share. But the whole conversation had felt like an out-of-body experience. By the time that it had registered with Duck what had happened, it was already too late. He just had to go for it. Again and again, he fidgeted with the strings on his blue plaid fleece hoodie.

“Everything okay back there, Duckie?” Katjaa looked in the rearview mirror back at her son. Concern shimmered in her eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay, just got lots of energy,” Duck whispered and focused back on fidgeting with the strings.

Katjaa’s eyes stayed on him a moment longer. “Zoon,”

Duck paused for a moment at the Dutch word and glanced up, his eyes meeting his mom’s in the mirror.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Duck forced a smile but quickly looked out the window. His mind felt super jam-packed again and his anxiety was through the roof. The car grew silent again save for the soft music that his mom liked to listen to while driving.

“How was your day?” Katjaa tried to start up a conversation, hoping to pinpoint what her son was struggling with.

“Good, fun. How was your day? Save any animals?”

“I did actually, a little kitten that had chronic health concerns. Owners couldn’t keep up with the care.” Katjaa noticed the excitement reenter her son’s eyes. “It will probably stay at the clinic for a few days and will need a home so who knows,”

Duck was really happy by that hint but then his smile faded. “What if Dad says no?”

“Oh, Kenny can be stubborn but he always had a soft spot for kittens. I think if we work together our plan can work,” Katjaa gave a wink back to her son. His mood had definitely brightened and for that Katjaa was relieved but that all changed when they arrived home.

As soon as they walked up the front steps Duck seemed on edge again.

“Duckie,”

“I’m fine, just gotta pee. I’ll see you and Dad in the front living room,” Duck quickly gave a two-fingered salute to look cool and calm then dashed off towards his room. Closing the door, he began to pace. Everything was going to be okay. It would all be okay. After a few deep breaths and several tiny panic attacks, Duck was ready.

“He’s sure taking a long time in the crapper,” Kenny muttered as he tossed his hat onto the side table.

“Kenny,”

Katjaa’s tone made him glance over.

“Oh, oops, meant bathroom,” Kenny gave a smile then leaned back on the couch and draped his arm over his wife’s shoulder.

“Maybe I should go check on him,” Katjaa nervously glanced at the hallway.

“Don’t worry so much, he’s fine,” Kenny reassured his wife but Katjaa still wasn’t convinced. She was about to get up to her feet when Duck slid down the hallway in his socks.

“I’m here, sorry I was-” Duck blanked on what he said he was doing.

“We don’t need toilet details,” Kenny waved his hand in front of his face.

“Right,” Duck awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“So, what is it you wanted to share?” Katjaa leaned forward and Duck felt his nerves return.

“Umm well, it’s about this boy Dylan in my class…”

“Is he bullying you?” Kenny’s eyes looked at Duck. “Has he been teasing you about them comics?”

“What? No! Come on, Dad, no one bullies kids for liking comics anymore,”

“Well how am I supposed to know what kids are into these days?” Kenny huffed and rested his head against the couch. “So what is it then?”

“Well, you see…” Duck fidgeted with the strings of his hoodie again.

There was a long period of silence.

“Duck-”

“I kissed him! Twice! I think I’m gay!” Duck declared super loudly, startling his parents. His chest heaved as the adrenaline kicked in. “No, I am gay!”

Kenny blinked at that. “So, you like boys?”

“Yeah,” Duck’s eyes focused on the ground until he felt arms wrap around him.

“That was very brave of you to share that with us, Duck. Right, Kenny?” Katjaa looked back at her husband.

Kenny nodded.

“So, you don’t hate me?” Duck looked at his mom who held onto the hug.

“We could never hate you, Duck. We just want you to be happy.”

“That’s right,” Kenny gave another nod. He still seemed to be wrapping his head around this news. But the worst-case scenario Duck had cooked up in his mind didn’t happen and for that he was relieved. He had successfully come out to his parents and everything was fine. Now he could focus on moving forward and go back to enjoying life.

Duck soon learned that that wouldn’t quite be true as he found himself in a predicament again. There he was staring up at the ceiling as Soup, their small Bengal kitten, played with his toes. She kept pouncing after them and doing little butt wiggles, ready to destroy his foot. Duck didn’t mind though, he was too stuck on a realization to notice anything else. He had totally blanked that he had had a crush on this girl in kindergarten and then on another one in second grade. His eyes wandered over towards the figurine he had of Storm. She was so powerful and cool and hot. Then his mind wandered to mental images of Link. He was really good-looking too.

He wasn’t gay after all. No, now he knew what he was. And so Duck gathered his parents for another talk.

When he entered the living room this time though he saw a plethora of different pride merch spread out before him. Pins, a flag in rainbow colors, and a rainbow hat were on the table.

“Hey there, son!” Kenny grinned as he sat on the couch with a shirt that said “I love my gay son”. “Like my new shirt?”

Duck stood there, processing a mixture of emotions. He was deeply touched that his dad had gone and done all this but now he felt like he had lied.

“I’m not gay!”

“What?” Katjaa looked at her son “But that boy, Dylan-”

“I like girls too! So, not gay, but bi!”

Kenny seemed absolutely lost. “So, you like both?”

“Yes,”

“And I’m guessing that this merch don’t work for that kind of pride?”

“No, well, not exactly,” Duck’s eyes fell for a moment and he gently kicked the rug before his eyes lifted in determination. “But I’m sure this time! Promise!”

A few days passed and Kenny had put away all the gay pride merch he had bought for Duck to support him. There was quite a bit of it and he wasn’t sure what to do with it now. Maybe he’d do a small yard sale. Kenny pondered that for a minute or two before walking to the front door to get the mail. As he toted the boxes and bags inside a smile appeared under Kenny’s mustache. The new merch had finally arrived.

“Duck! Duck!” He strode down the hallway and opened the door to his son’s room. “Look at this! Bi pride!” He held a huge bi flag upside down with a grin. It soon faded though when he saw his son’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Turns out I’m not bi either,” Duck gave an awkward smile. “I’m pan,”

“Oh,” Kenny stood there awkwardly. “What’s that?”

Duck took a few minutes to explain exactly what it meant to be pan. Kenny nodded along, still trying to keep all these different orientations right in his head.

“Okay, so then I need to get some pan merch,” Kenny left the room before Duck could say anything. As Kenny walked down the hallway he glanced down at the bi flag in his hands.

Maybe a pride-themed yard sale wasn’t a bad idea after all.

[yellowocaballero]

Jon & Sasha Arson fic

Little fragment of an idea that never went anywhere. No reason for it. Just thought it would be funny. I was right. Rest under the cut. 

Most people who were unlucky enough to meet Jonathan Sims assumed he had no friends.

This was true, up to a point two weeks after Jon became a researcher at the Magnus Institute: afterwards Jon had no friends, except for Sasha James.

Sasha James was attributable to arson.

Most people who were unlucky enough to meet Jonathan Sims assumed he had no friends. 

This was true, up to a point two weeks after Jon became a researcher at the Magnus Institute: afterwards Jon had no friends, except for Sasha James. 

*******

Sasha James was attributable to arson.

Arson was attributable to a bookshelf of Leitners, humming strange songs and spewing toxic energy into the air in rhythmic hissing motions. The Leitners were attributable to Artifact Storage, a testament to mankind’s hubris and a modern-day tower of Babel where a group of underpaid academics found themselves stress testing kevlar and fire suppression systems each day. Artifact Storage was attributable to the Magnus Institute, where Jon had managed to land a job after three months of desolate post-graduate unemployment. And the Magnus Institute was attributable to - well, probably Jonah Magnus, but Jon found that it was likely a bit of a reach to blame a long dead Regency gentleman for all of his problems. 

Jon needed this job. London was expensive and so were funerals, and he couldn’t keep living on life insurance forever. It was even a good job, with decent pay and the exact kind of limp, half-hearted academia that the private sector promised disillusioned English mastery holders. His coworkers were nice - well, Tim was nice, everybody else seemed to hate him for the same reason that everybody else hated him, likely intimidated by how smart he was - and the commute was short. He couldn’t afford to lose this job. Spiritually, metaphysically, and literally. 

Which was why he should stop staring at this piece of paper. The follow-up research to a statement given by some idiot unlucky enough to cross paths with what was certainly a Leitner. 

‘ORIGINATION OF PHENOMENA ISOLATED’, the page read out professionally, yet chipperly, like a young woman in a new office job. ‘ITEM QUARANTINED WITHIN ARTIFACT STORAGE (46B.1)’. 

Hm. 

Jon pushed down on the floor, rolling himself a meter to the left.

“Say, er, Mr. Stoker.”

Tim “I’m only four years older than you, please call me Tim” Stoker, who had been thumping away on his cheap plastic keyboard either writing up a report or messaging someone on one of those infernal casual sex websites, pulled down his headphones and blinked at Jon owlishly, before splitting his face into a grin. Jon could practically hear the David Attenborough-style narration within his mind: ‘After long weeks leaving out food for the wild Simothan, the feral yet gentle animal approaches the researcher of his own volition. A win for scientists everywhere.’

“Yes, Jon?” Tim asked, in an uncanny yet hopefully unintentional RP drawl. 

“What’s Artifact Storage?”

“God, I wish I was you,” Tim said feelingly. But he nodded sagely anyway, milking his ‘wise senpai’ thing for all it was worth. Jon could practically feel Tim calling himself a senpai. It was kind of embarrassing. “You know the shady room locked deep within the basement that exudes a terrible aura of malice and hatred towards you specifically?”

“The gender neutral bathroom?” Jon asked, confused. 

“No, the one that always smells somewhat of blood. You hear screams sometimes?”

“The Archives!”

“Yes, but no! It’s Artifact Storage. If the researchers dig up any creepy shit from a statement, or if a statement giver brings in something that melts the metal detector, then we dump it in Artifact Storage and let those miserable fucks take care of it.”

“Is it more of a containment facility, or would you say that they conduct experiments?”

But Tim just shrugged. “My source down there tells me that they do some experiments to justify their budget, but it’s mostly unscientific. Poke this and I’ll give you twenty quid, that kind of thing. They say that if you really want a sick day, all you have to do is touch a mysterious rock and whisper your mother’s name -”

“Fantastic, thank you for your help, must go back to filling now,” Jon said quickly, skittering back to his own desk. He tried to distract himself from the terrifying thought of the basement full of supernatural nuclear bombs underneath his feet by trying to remember his mother’s name, but he was stuck on if it was Marjorie or Margaret. Mary Anne?

Maybe Tim’s personal Meerkat Manor series of Jon’s life had paid off - Sims Shack? - more than Jon would like, because Tim squinted at Jon in an unsettlingly familiar way. As if he knew exactly what Jon was thinking about the literature of mass destruction, and he really wanted Jon to be thinking literally anything else. 

“I wouldn’t go down there if I were you, Jon,” Tim warned, sounding a little like a horror movie trailer. “Bushy tailed college grads who go down there don’t come out the same as they went in.”

“I’ll take that under advisement, Mr. Stoker.”

“For the love of christ call me Tim!”

It really was a pity - Jon had actually liked this job. 

*******

It was remarkably easy to commit arson in central London.

Jon had done it once or twice. Three times, actually, although when you think about it arson was a criminal charge and only truly existed so long as someone was charged with it, so technically you could say that Jon had done arson zero times. In his defense, you try making it through Oxford without doing anything embarrassing. 90% of your time was in class or schoolwork and 10% of it was being hazed. At least Jon hadn’t fucked any pigs. 

Jon hit up the usual stores, and stashed the usual implements in his rucksack. It was a careful week after his conversation with Tim, as he couldn’t afford for the older man to connect the dots. He made a show of going home at a timely five pm, startling everybody around him, and paced in a tight circle around his flat until he gave up and watched mindless telly until the clock struck midnight. 

He took a cab to the park a few blocks down from the Institute, and walked the rest of the way. It was a cool, dim night in London, and the foot-traffic had slowed down to a steady trickle of young people in tight clothing. Jon pulled down his baseball cap on his head, fished a key out from his pocket given to him by a helpful and friendly janitor, and took a back entrance into the Institute. 

Said helpful and friendly janitor, whose allegiance had been won because Jon was a “nice young lad” and “I always wanted to burn down the place myself, I’m happy to see the next generation give it a go” had helpfully told Jon that there were no security cameras inside the Institute. A grievous oversight, but good luck for Jon tonight. He took the stairs down to the basement, zipping his jacket up tight against the inescapable chill, and pushed his hat further down his head as he navigated his way towards Artifact Storage.

He unlocked the door with the janitor’s key, hands shaking, and slipped inside into the dusky and unlit room. 

It was pitch-black, and Jon quickly fished a torch out of his backpack. He flipped it on, letting it slowly scan the room. It was the lobby into Artifact Storage, familiar from his stake-out missions: you walked in, met the bored woman behind the desk, checked in or checked out what you wanted, and if you needed to go inside she would press the button that unlocked the heavy climate-controlled door and let you into the hallway inside. The only other door in the lobby was to the office of the Director of Artifact Storage, a terrifying short and squat woman with silver hair pulled into a bun. 

Jon leaned over the counter and jammed the button, holding his breath until he heard the door click open. He quickly twisted the handle, swung the heavy door out, and slipped inside, taking care to grab one of the chairs in the lobby and prop it open. Quick escapes were necessary. 

He was in. 

The torch lit up a map taped up to the wall, and Jon squinted at it. Section A, Section B, Section C...he remembered the classification from the document he read a week ago, and slowly walked down the hallway until he found the heavy climate controlled door marked ‘SECTION B’. He carefully wrenched it open, taking care to grab a rolling cart and using it to prop the door open, before stepping inside. He fished the canister of gasoline and the lighter out of his backpack, giving the gasoline a good shake. 

It was a library. Small, and instead of shelves there were long metal racks with filing boxes stretching long into the darkness, but Jon knew a library when he saw one. Each box had a clipboard attached to it, and most boxes had very large and terrifying stickers on them painted sickly yellow or dangerous red. 

The only thing in the library that wasn’t a filing rack was a battered and beat couch. And the only person in the room besides Jon was a woman, blinking up at Jon blearily from where she had been passed out on the couch. 

“Er,” Jon said. 

The woman sat up, squinting at Jon’s torchlight until he guiltily aimed it just to her left. She had a wild mane of curly brown hair, and was wearing a pencil skirt and ruffled burgundy blouse. A blazer was folded at one end of the couch, clearly being used as a pillow, and she looked strongly as if Jon had just woken her up from a very nice nap. 

“Whuh,” the sleepy woman said. 

“My mistake,” Jon said, “this isn’t the loo. Go back to bed, this is - er, a very bad dream, goodnight.”

“Whutuhiseet,” the woman slurred. 

“It’s - very late, go back to bed.”

“Alright,” the woman said, falling back on the couch. After a second, her snores echoed through the room again. 

Jon very slowly crept backwards. Actually, on second thought, his mission could wait for tomorrow. Bit of a cock block, this, but that was alright - 

“Hey! Who are you!”

Jon, hand on the handle of the door, squeaked and turned around. 

The woman was back up again, and this time she seemed actually awake. She was frowning mightily at Jon, and was already sliding off the couch in stocking feet to glare at him. Jon was aware that he did not look like an innocent person in these events. The gasoline did not help.

The woman’s eyes trailed to the gasoline, then widened. Jon ineffectually tried to hide it behind his back. 

“You’re trying to burn down Artifact Storage!” the woman accused, somewhat fairly.

“Not all of Artifact Storage,” Jon said guiltily, “just the Leitners.”

The woman stared at him further, as if she was a special guest on Tim’s Sims Shack nature documentary. 

“Why,” the woman said slowly, “would you want to do that?”

Despite himself, Jon found himself puffing up in indignation. “They’re evil, nasty little books that shouldn’t exist. Forget studying and - and containing them, we should be making sure no more of them ever disgrace the world again. We should be burning every one we see. They’re pure evil given literary form, they are a disgrace to books and libraries, and if I ever met Leitner myself I would beat him to death with a rusty pipe for subjecting me to his fucked up books.”

The woman stared at him. 

Finally, she said, “I’m Sasha James. Want some help?”

“I - er, wouldn’t that get you in trouble, Ms. James?” 

“I like this job but I hate Leitner and his fucked up books more,” Sasha said gravely. 

Jon, having found a kindred spirit, held out the lighter. 

Sasha James took it, a wide grin splitting her face. 

*********

Jon didn’t remember much else of that night. 

There was definitely arson involved - or, seeing as they hadn’t gotten caught, just some good old-fashioned fire starting. He had the sense that they had both been so giddy with adrenaline that they had immediately joined the raging uni students in the late night bars, toasting their success in toasting. There had probably been quite a bit of alcohol.

When he woke up the next morning, it was in his narrow and uncomfortable bed, face to face with an unfamiliar snoring woman. For a second, two, Jon was briefly convinced that he had done something so drastically out of character it meant that a fucked up book had body swapped him with Tim. Bodyswapping was more likely than him having casual sex. 

Then Jon remembered the arson, and he exhaled in relief as his life made sense again. 

“Ms. James,” Jon whispered, poking her in the arm. She snuffled and muttered something. Jon poked her harder. “Ms. James, we have work.”

Sasha turned around, turning her back to him and pulling up the blankets. “Go back to bed, Tim.”

Ti - oh god. Jon felt like he was in a CW drama. This was why he didn’t interact with people, far too much likelihood that he would accidentally end up interacting with somebody who had sex.

“Ms. James,” Jon hissed, extremely embarrassed, “you have to get up!”

“Mergh mergh fuck off,” Sasha James said. 

Jon, like a true gentleman and hero, got up and made them both strong tea. He squinted at Sasha, recalling everything he knew about her (slept a lot, liked arson, hated Jurgen Leitner) before digging out some instant coffee and making some of that too. Finally, after shoving a hot cup of sludgey black liquid at the woman, she grabbed the cup and chugged it until she was able to sit up and open her eyes. 

She blinked at Jon, who was already picking his hair in an attempt to get ready for work. He could clearly see the thoughts ‘you aren’t Tim’ run through her brain. Hah! He could be the narrator of the nature documentary for once!

“Uh,” Sasha James said, “I’m sorry, did we…?”

“Commit arson? Yes.” Jon paused a beat. “But as I don’t believe we were caught, call it an indoor campfire.”

Sasha James drank more of her coffee. Jon grabbed his clothing and disappeared into the loo to get changed. 

When he re-entered his bedroom, she snapped her fingers at him. “Right! We got pissed after! Good times, mate!”

“I have to assume,” Jon said politely. He was doing his very best to be very polite, because Jon knew he was rude and didn’t want his new coworkers to know that until his probation period was over. Maybe he should have waited until after his probation period for the arson? Would it look bad on his annual review? “Do you need to borrow some clothing? I think we’re about the same size.” Oh, no, was that rude to say to a woman?

Sasha James squinted at him. “It’s like you’re not hungover at all. How old are you?”

“Twenty five?” Be polite, Jon! “And you’re...thirty seven?”

“I’m thirty one, asshole!”

Oh no. Women hated it when you called them old. “You don’t look a day over twenty seven!” Jon cried, panicked. 

“Have you met a woman?”

“I had a grandmother?”

“I’m going back to bed,” Sasha James said. 

Unfortunately, Jon knew that it would be very suspicious if they both skipped, so he forced Sasha into one of his suits that...looked much nicer on her than him, but whatever, and hustled them both to work. Now that the adrenaline had worn away and the sense of purpose in his holy mission had burned up with the cleansing flames, Jon found himself biting his nails in agony in the Underground. 

They had to know. Someone must have caught them. Maybe there were secret CCTVs in the Institute. Maybe Sasha was going to rat him out - but she had helped, so wouldn’t she just be ratting out herself? Was she a double agent? Mr. Bouchard was never going to forgive him, no matter how nice he was and how much he seemed to like Jon to the point where he rather wished someone had given him the ‘Stranger Danger’ speech as a child so he would know what to do. Jon was going to go to jail, or worse - get fired. 

Sasha, cooly sipping her coffee and looking somewhat fly in sunglasses and his suit, did not seem disturbed by any of this. Jon’s rapidly spiralling panic attack must have been obvious, because she casually flicked a finger on his forehead. Jon yelped with pain. 

“Take it easy, mate. If they catch us, I’ll just say that the books made us do it.”

Jon scowled at her, rubbing his smarting forehead. “The books?”

“Sure.” She waved her fingers spookily as the Underground rattled forward into the heart of London. “Brainwashed us to do their evil bidding of -”

“Destroying them?”

“There’s a lot of arson Leitners,” Sasha James said sagely. “Trust me, this is just a normal day in Artifact Storage.” She clapped him reassuringly on the shoulder, and Jon fought a blush. “Don’t worry. We performed a public service, kiddo. St. Peter’s gonna give us a medal when we get to the pearly gates.”

“I’m an adult,” Jon said, scandalized. He had gray hair!

“Well, I guess, but I don’t know your name, so…”

 Jon squinted at her. She squinted at him back. 

“You’re thinking that if you don’t give me your name I can’t rat you out to the feds,” Sasha said flatly. 

Jon pursed his lips. 

Finally, he settled on, “You don’t rat me out to the feds and I won’t tell them that you’re in an illicit relationship with Mr. Stoker.”

“Mr. - how did - what!”

“It’s Jonathan Sims,” Jon said gruffly, crossing his arms. He was slightly hungover and his nerve were jittery and he had set fire to his workplace the previous night, but somehow Jon thought that his heart was jackrabbiting in his chest for a different reason. Somehow Jon felt as if his heart couldn’t stop thumping behind his sternum because Sasha James was staring at him, head cocked, as if he was a mystery she was interested in finding out. “That’s my name.”

Sasha James stared at him, as if surprised, before her face broke into a wide and happy smile. Jon hunched his shoulders up, embarrassed, faintly aware he was blushing. “It’s nice to meet you, Jonathan!” Then she grabbed him by the collar, shaking him slightly. “And there is nothing illicit about me and Tim, and there is nothing between me and Tim at all, we are just friends, so get that out of your little head -”

The train rattled on towards the Magnus Institute, and towards the slight smell of smoke in the air. 

*******

Sasha: are you coming 2 the pub w/us 2nite?

Sasha: come onnn you should comeee don’t feel awkwardddd 

Sasha: I know you hate a) group settings b) drunk people c) Tim in a group d) drunk Tim and e) Tim drunk in a group but that’s no reason not to come!

Sasha: Tim is physiologically incapable of not adopting men 3-5 years younger than him it’s in his blood you can’t escape his affection

Sasha: or at least I find it funny so I’m not letting you

Sasha: Jonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Jon: Yes I’ll come, I need to talk to both of you.

Sasha: WAHOO

Sasha: wait

Sasha: really?

Sasha: did you commit ars*on again

Sasha: wait if you did don’t tell me the courts can request text transcripts

Jon: No, I just need your advice on an urgent matter.

Sasha: do you need to be drunk to do it

Jon: ...maybe.

Jon: ....Mr. Bouchard offered me the Head Archivist Job?

Jon: Which is stupid because I’ve worked here for barely four years and you’ve worked here for about ten years I think. And you’ve published five papers in parapsychological research. I know I helped you figure out that this place is a weird trauma mill but it was really mostly you. It’s completely ridiculous to promote me and I’m afraid it’s favoritism. For potentially heinous ends? This feels awful because it’s such an honor but I would never stop feeling stressed and guilty because I know so many more people (like you) are so much more qualified. Or qualified at all.

Sasha: holy shit

Sasha: ...do you remember the speech I gave you on stranger danger?

Jon: I’m afraid to mention this to Tim because he might beat up Mr. Bouchard for both my honor and yours.

Sasha: Jesus at this point I don’t even want a fucking job anymore. What bullshit. I’m never going to get promoted and I just need to accept that. This isn’t your fault, Jon, seriously, thank you for telling me. 

Sasha: we can talk about this at the pub

Sasha: in private. Off the radar. 

Jon: Looking forward to it :)

Jon: did I use the emoticon right?

Sasha: Yes, Jon, you did everything right. 

[binniesthighs]

hi, i know you’re really busy, but i’ve just been having a really hard day, and i was wondering, if you have the time, if you could just write a small binnie x reader fluff about you having a rough day and binnie calming you down. just if you have the time though

-🦐anon

of course sweetheart! comfort bin coming right up!

[23:57]

changbin has a bit of a sixth sense...he also calls it his superpower on the days when he knows that you need a little bit of a laugh--and today is no exception.

you kick you heels up to the wall where you lay yourself stretched out on the bed. today’s one of those days when the world feels just a bit heavier, your feet a bit slower on the path on front of you, your arms a little bit weaker to hold yourself up. sometimes you wish that the bed would just suck you up, take you someplace far away that doesn’t have to be here. you know that there, there wouldn’t be deadlines, or responsibilities, pressure, voices telling you what to do, who you can and can’t be. those voices certainly don’t exist there.

in your fingertips the soft of the sheets feels nice. its a soft little reminder of the things that you can control: something steady, something that’s familiar. the burden of the day draws you down, and you find yourself twisting to your side to scoop up a pillow to hug, just like him.

on your nightstand, your phone glows with a dull light in the half-lit room with a notification:

binnie: how was your day? is everything okay? did it go well? i want to hear about it :)

sometimes the only strength that you have left is in your fingertips, but this is all that it takes: a call, a message.

me: not that great to be honest. today wasn’t the best day. i don’t want to talk about it too much else.

you hug the pillow tighter. it smells a little like him from the last time that he had slept over. his hoodie which you had put on the moment you walked in the door smells like him too. even though he isn’t far, you still miss him.

binnie: wait right there. i’ll be over as soon as i can. get yourself all cuddled up in bed okay? i’ll be there to join you, alright?

it’s my sixth sense.

you do as you’re told, pretending a little that he’s right there, watching you as you do your night routine. “don’t forget to brush your teeth okay?” he would say. “are you comfortable enough?” with a little chuckle he’d tell you that you don’t have to wear pants: he likes the way this both of your bare legs feel all tangled up under the sheets. “here, have some water before bed. you don’t have to drink all of it, just most of it.” you take your little bottle of hand cream that you keep next to your bed and squeeze out a little glob. it smells like lavender and lemon, and you imagine it’s him rubbing it on your hands. “it has such a nice smell.” he says with a little smirk.

your pants shimmy down your legs and your pull his hoodie down to throw the comforter over yourself. next to you is the plushie that he had gotten for you in a arcade game a little while ago. its some kind of animal that you barely know the species of, but it looks like somewhat of a mixture of a duck and a panda. a bit of the stuffing is coming out of the seams, but you still hug it just as tight.

changbin jams his key into your apartment door, then you hear his footsteps shuffle over the hardwood floors straight to your room.

“are you asleep yet love?” he stands in the doorframe.

“no,” you respond with a small voice.

your boyfriend gets to work quickly turning out the rest of the lights in your apartment, and is quick to brush his own teeth, finally setting your pot of coffee to turn on for tomorrow morning and be ready when you wake up. your eyes follow as he clicks on your mobile: its a little astrological display of stars and planets on a tiny projector that fills up your ceiling with yellow constellations.

he’s even wearing your favorite sweater: the fuzzy one with sleeves just a little too long and the kangaroo pocket in the front where he would hold your hands when it gets a little too cold at the bus stops.

changbin slides under the covers and you notice that at some point he must’ve taken his pants off too.

“come here.” he coos, then sweeps you deeply into his arms and chest warm with his heat.

everything about him fills you with a sense of calm, and you fall right into him and the way that he smooths down your back. your boyfriend gives your forehead kisses here and there to, each followed with another one of his compliments.

“did you know how proud I am of you?”

“you did it! you got through the day. don’t worry baby, it’s all over now.”

“please don’t worry, it’ll get better soon. i’ll be here for you.”

in his arms you feel your body get just a little stronger, and you hold the fabric of his sweater back tightly.

“why does it have to be so hard sometimes? it hurts?”

changbin sighs deeply, then plants one more kiss on your forehead which is already full of them.

“there’s hard times and easy times, but i don’t think that it would make sense if there was one and not the other. we go through hard times to become stronger and to find the things that truly make us happy. we need the hard times. but, this doesn’t mean that you have to go at it alone. i’m always here for you; even when you can’t find the words, i’ll know. it’s my sixth sense.”

he chuckles out a little, then wipes away the pair of tears that puff up your eyes.

“its okay to cry about it too. don’t be ashamed of it. i cry too, ya know.”

you sniffle, “yeah, i know.”

“doesn’t mean that I’m any less stronger, right?”

you nod, burying your face into his chest even deeper. he smells like home, and like everything that puts you at peace: whatever that might be.

“for now, let’s just try to get some sleep okay? tomorrow is a different day, and we’ll take it on together. it feels nice to start fresh with the morning doesn’t it?”

“mm. yeah. it does.”

you close your eyes to match your heartbeat to his: a kind of slow and sweet lullaby that draws you to sleep with little effort over time. your boyfriend waits, humming a little song, likely something he made up, waiting for you to fall asleep. he’d watch the little constellations on the ceiling dance while you drift off, finally allowing himself to fall asleep as well.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @julesinthesoop @eunaeiekim

[misslilli]

Hope you guys are not too busy with Fictober 😄 thank you, as always, for your amazing feedback!

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 26 - A Pivotal Peppermint Mocha

[ DS ]

He respects my wishes, of course he does, and I don’t see him before or after Thanksgiving break, except for a few glimpses from afar, across the school yard or at the farmer’s market. As time passes, each time I see him, it gets less and less painful and my funk begins to lift. My kids at school breathe a sigh of relief and my friends stop tiptoeing around me. The nights get easier, too, and I manage at least a few hours of shut-eye.

I just got home from school, a little earlier than usual and I can hear the girls chatting and laughing in the kitchen.

“…and then Squirrel rolled her eyes and said: ‘But Felix, that’s impossible, no-one can stuff 100 marshmallows into their mouth, not even your dad!’ I get such a kick out of this kid, he insisted over and over again that Moose could do it and he’ll prove it to her. You should’ve seen the exasperated look on Squirrel’s face!”

What the hell? That conversation is eerily familiar because I’ve just had it this morning at recess. Why the fuck are they referring to us as Moose and Squirrel?

They jump about a mile as I step into the kitchen, guilty looks plastered all over their faces. Sarah, who just told the story, starts to speak first. “Uuuh.. hey D, you’re home early…” My hands on my hips, I give them each a long, hard stare.

“Who. The Fuck. Are Moose and Squirrel?” They share a look I can’t decipher and Holly pulls out a chair.

“You better sit down for this, D.” I do as I’m told and glance around the table, waiting for someone to start explaining what’s going on.

Sarah and Holly both make it clear by silently staring at Alex, the calm one of our group, the one they trust can explain in a way I won’t kick their asses afterwards.

Alex folds her hands in front of her and takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’d like to preface this with stating that everything we did was done with love and because we care about you and your happiness.” ‘Oh goody, I can’t wait to see where this is going…’

“We’ve been talking about Moo- Mulder a lot at our Friday night dinners and we could tell that you liked him. When nothing happened and no-one made the first move, we thought we’d give fate little pushes in the right direction.” I stare at her, starting to panic.

“Oh God, what did you do? Is anyone else in on this thing? Is he in on this whole thing?”

“No, no, no-one knows except for us. And Miss Hannigan, but only because we needed her help with the costumes and we swore her to secrecy.” I snort, you can’t swear the town gossip to secrecy.

“So the Halloween costume was your doing? That we went to the town fair in a couple’s costume?” Alex nods. “What else?”

“Just little things, I swear. Remember when we were at the Farmer’s Market and we all had various errands to run? We saw Felix and Mulder were heading over, so we scattered to give you some alone time.” Which led to our first quasi-semi-let’s not call it a date-date, yes I remember.

“So what’s the Moose and Squirrel business then?”

“Well, since it was all a secret operation, we needed codenames. Sarah came up with a play on the first letters of your last names and we thought it was cute, especially since there’s such a big height difference between these characters too. This was how Operation: Bullwinkle was born. Of course, after the basketball fiasco, we called it off… are you mad, D?” I sit in silence for a while, taking in the things my friends came up with to set Mulder and I up.

They eye me anxiously, trying to gauge my reaction and if they should run for cover right about now.

“No, I’m not mad. It was actually a really clever secret operation and I’m kind of sad it didn’t work out the way we all wanted.” Holly lifts her shoulders, relieved that I understood that they didn’t mean to cause any harm.

“Never say never, D.”

—————

[ FM ]

My mom has taken Felix with her while she’s out grocery shopping, which gives me a good part of the afternoon to leave the house and roam the streets. A good way to clear my head. It’s the first week of December, but New England hasn’t been graced with snow yet, just a misty cold that seeps into your coat and straight through to your bones.

My hands are freezing because I forgot to take my gloves, so when the green logo of the local Starbucks catches my eye, I go in to warm up and get a cup of coffee.

Usually, I avoid this place like the plague, I don’t possess the fast decision making skills required to choose from the 999 combinations, just to have a cup of freakishly overpriced coffee.

I can barely get through the door, the place is jam packed and soon, I can smell why. Peppermint Mocha season starts today. The prospect of standing in line for hours almost makes me turn back, but something stops me from leaving.

Most of the people are holding a cup in their hands gleefully already, so I push my way through the crowd to where the line starts. When I reach it, I find myself dumbly staring at the back of a fiery head of hair, a shade I’d recognize anywhere in the world and in the most crowded places.

Shi-hit, does this break the ‘giving space’ rule? No, I’m just getting a cup of coffee on a cold winter day, no big deal. I don’t even have to talk to her. Yeah right, who am I kidding?

—————

[ DS ]

I’m way too excited about the start of Peppermint Mocha season, so here I am, in a place packed with people, patiently waiting in line to finally get my hands on that glorious to-go cup of Christmas Spirit.

I’m next in line when the person in front of me turns a little too quickly, making me take a step backwards to let them pass, bumping into the person standing behind. I mumble a “I’m sorry!” over my shoulder and freeze when I hear a familiar voice respond with an “Don’t worry about it.”

Counting to ten in my head before I turn my head, I come to face with a grinning Fox Mulder, who adds “Fancy bumping into you here!” His silly pun elicits the first genuine smile I’ve given in weeks.

“Technically, you didn’t bump into me, I bumped into you.”

He grins even wider and nudges my shoulder with his index finger. “There. So, I’m new in town, what’s good here?”

I order my Peppermint Mocha with sweet cream foam and an extra espresso shot while he pretends to gag, he orders his black coffee to my snort and the barista’s comment on what kind of first name ‘Mulder’ is. We move to stand at the end of the counter to wait for our coffees.

“Sometimes, I just want to tell them my name is Bob, just so I don’t have to explain Mulder or Fox to another barista.”

“Don’t ask me how many time’s I’ve been Donna, Danny or Dinara and one time, Daniel. I think they do it on purpose. At least yours is easy to spell, Eff - Oh - Ex.”

“Oh I bet you were a regular hit at the spelling bee, with those mad skills of yours!”

“I’m a woman of many talents, Bob.”

The barista calls out our names, ‘Peppermint Mocha for Daisy, black coffee for Mouldy’ and we reach out to accept our respective cups. Pushing out way to the crowd, we continue our conversation.

“Daisy? That's not even remotely close to my real name… but Mouldy is freaking priceless!” Her giggle at their slip up almost makes it worth it to have a shitty first name.

“Yeah, yeah, make fun of the guy with the funny name. I kind of like Daisy, though, it’s a pretty name!”

I’m so happy to see that we turn to head in the same direction, strolling along the crowded sidewalk, sipping our coffee. I have to walk pretty fast to keep up with his long strides.

“It is, yeah! So tell me, Eff- Oh- Ex, how much flak did you have to take way back in the day, when “What does the Fox say?” came out?” I shudder at the memory.

“They didn’t tease me with it. Much. Just a lot of ring-ding-dingalinging. It became a thing in my friend group, whenever they asked me something, they’d add ‘So what does the Fox say?’. It went on a long time and they still do it sometimes, when we get together, just to drive me nuts!”

“I hope for your sake that Felix never discovers that song, he’d have a field day!” Oh God, she’s right. Must keep him away from it at all costs. At my panic face, she laughs an evil laugh. “We do listen to a lot of music at recess…”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t!” I point an icy finger at her. “Promise me you wouldn’t!”

“Well, it does have a lot of educational material in it, with all the animal sounds…”

“I’ll have you know that you hold my sanity in your hands, handle with care!”

“I hear they have a lot of fun pills at the asylum, maybe I’ll come visit so you can sneak me some!”

We come to stand at the junction where we have to part ways and she raises her cup.

“Have a good day, Mouldy!”

“You too, Daisy!”

—————

[ DS ]

I think about the strange but fun encounter all the way home, the world didn’t end like I thought it would when we met again and it was a rather pleasant conversation. Like a conversation between long-time friends, even though friendship is not exactly what I’m looking for here. But it’ll have to do, for now. It’s just nice to talk to him again.

[angstyaches]

hi hi hi so i was reading your fic where felix and elliot are feeding on an animal again and there’s some Hot Vampire Kissing Tm and i was wondering... since it was kinda teensy a little bit (very) hot .... could we have some more vampy- fangy bloody kissing with them please? i know it isn’t emeto or whump related but i figured i could always ask and you can obviously say no if you don’t wanna write it. Thanks!🍄

I honestly can’t tell if this is hot or not but I hope it’s at least nice.

CW: vampire resisting blood, hunger, burps, kissing and more implied spiciness.

Early-Days Felix and Elliott 

Felix didn’t bother sitting down to meals lately. Meaning he didn’t sit down, and he didn’t have meals. Instead, he stood at the kitchen counter and consumed whatever quick snack he managed to rustle up, wanting to dull his sudden cravings before they could set in too deeply.

This is what he was doing at 6am, as the sun cut the white kitchen tiles into slices. He was having toast, because toast felt like a good morning food, and raspberry jam because the visual of something red and sticky entering his mouth was just appealing, it hit upon something in his brain that was begging to be hit upon, but as he chewed it, the illusion gave way, and the jam just tasted like jam.

“There you are.”

Felix looked across the countertop as he chewed, feeling a flicker of affection at the sight of Elliott wandering into the kitchen. His hair was loose and dishevelled, not in its usual ponytail or half-bun. He’d come downstairs in just his boxers and a pinstriped shirt that he hadn’t bothered to button up, clearly not expecting Nancy or Ryan to be up and about yet. And Felix just couldn’t help but gaze at how each inch of fabric sat on Elliott’s body, rustling against his skin with every movement he made.

“Are you alright?” Elliott asked, opening the fridge and carefully selecting a glass bottle from the shelf in the door. Felix swallowed and looked away, unable to bear the sight of the bottle or its contents.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

Elliott glanced over at him, eyeing the toast in his hand, before pouring himself a mugful of the bottle’s contents. It sloshed from glass container to ceramic, and Felix heard every.

Single.

Drop.

He swallowed again, though there was nothing in his mouth but saliva.

“You got hungry again?” Elliott asked, returning the bottle to the fridge door. His surprise was likely due to the fact that they’d both had a large dinner the night before, consisting of fish and chips and lemon cheesecake.

Felix turned his slice of toast over in his hand, feeling grateful for how it had sat nicely in his stomach so far, but also hating it for not being what he really needed. Hating it for its inability to stop the feeling of his teeth being wrenched from deep in his gums.

“Yeah,” he admitted. A half-lie. Dinner hadn’t truly sated him, so technically he was still hungry.

He could see that Elliott was biting the inside of his own lip, and he had a feeling he knew what was going to come next. Elliott’s fingers delicately laid the mug on the countertop, grip lingering on the rim as though poised to move it closer to Felix.

“Felix, I think you should consider –”

“No,” Felix whimpered, backing up.

Elliott’s eyes narrowed. “I wish you would consider drinking a little.”

Felix lifted his food to take a bite, mainly to obscure the shy grin that spread across his face at hearing the concern in Elliott’s voice. It had been two months since Felix had first entered the townhouse and become an official member of the Aldridge clan, and it had been six weeks and two days since he and Elliott had started sharing a bed and kissing and doing the things that often followed kissing. Six weeks in which Felix felt he should have gotten over these silly little moments of incoherent infatuation, and yet he felt as giddy and nervous around Elliott as ever.

Especially when the older man expressed worry over him.

“Please?” Elliott’s voice was low.

Felix placed the remainder of his toast on the plate and licked his lips. “I… I can’t. The idea of it is still rather… repulsive.” Heat shot out to the tips of his ears. “No, no offence…”

“No, I understand what you’re saying.” Elliott pursed his lips, eyes trained on the mug. “The psychological adjustments can be as challenging as the physical ones, if not more challenging.”

As much as Felix appreciated Elliott’s sympathy, it didn’t do much to ease his discomfort. Just because someone else had once felt similarly to how he was feeling now, it didn’t reassure him that he would one day move past it and live like a normal person. A normal vampire, he thought to himself, wondering if he was even allowed to call himself a person anymore.

“You know that it comes from a willing donor, right?” Elliott was referring to the mug’s contents, which Felix was trying hard not to gaze upon. “You’ll probably meet her soon, and hopefully that will ease some of your anxiety.”

Felix gave a heavy shrug. He hoped the same thing, but he also feared that putting a face to the blank, human-shaped blood dispenser in his mind would make the task of consuming all the more difficult. After all, he’d never had any desire to put a name and a face to the cow just before biting into a burger…

“I’m feeling a slight sting myself, and there’s no point in wasting good blood,” Elliott said, his voice becoming deeper and more distant as it did when he was about to feed. “Would it bother you if I drank this?”

Felix shook his head briskly, snatching up the last of his toast. There were three bites’ worth left, but he shoved it all into his mouth at once. The sound of Elliott’s lips sipping on the blood rang loudly through his skull, entering his ears like the incessant humming of a broken street lamp. His own chewing did little to drown it out.

The sipping turned into gulping, and Felix’s eyes widened at the way Elliott tilted his head back under the mug. His free hand gripped the edge of the countertop, as though he might fall over from the force of drinking. Felix’s ears continued to zone in on the sounds of drinking, consuming, guzzling, and he was sure he could hear the liquid being pulled into Elliott’s throat along with tiny pockets of air, the muscles inside his digestive system greedy and eager to get it down as quickly as possible.

Felix had never known it was possible to literally go slack-jawed while watching something, but right then, he couldn’t have closed his mouth if someone had offered to pay him.

“Mm,” Elliott mumbled, gasping softly as he put the mug down, empty, on the countertop again. Hs mouth was smeared in red, a single droplet drawing a line down his stubbled chin.

There was a low rumble in the older vampire’s chest, which Felix only heard because the thirst had heightened his senses, and then a long gurgle as his stomach struggled to settle such a large amount of blood; drinking from a container wasn’t the same as feeding from an animal, so Elliott should probably have drunk it more slowly.

Felix felt his own stomach rumble as though in response to Elliott's, but for the opposite reason; it was making far-too-quick work of the toast and lamenting the lack of what his body truly needed. He still couldn’t manage to close his mouth, despite the saliva gathering around his teeth and wetting his lips.

Elliott frowned and placed a hand on his belly – bare between the unclosed buttons of his shirt – and let out a short, tight belch. “Excuse me.”

“No.”

“No? You won’t excuse me?”

Felix shook his head. He couldn’t stop looking at the red stains on Elliott’s lips and the drip on his chin, which he hadn’t thought to lick or brush away yet. The sudden fullness must have been dulling his instincts; Felix could almost see the bliss in his yellow eyes as warmth flashed through them.

His fingers and lips trembled as he reached for Elliott’s face.

Elliott wore a blank expression as Felix’s thumb dragged up through his beard and over the dip in the corner of his mouth. The thumb came away red and glistening, and Elliott grinned, revealing fangs that were slightly distended from feeding.

“What?” Felix mumbled innocently, as his own thumb entered his mouth.

His lips and tongue began pulling at the liquid, relishing the metallic sweetness. His stomach tightened in anticipation while his head seemed to fill up with butterflies. As he slid his thumb from his mouth, he felt his own fangs reaching down, relieving a little of the pressure in his gums.

“I can’t put my finger on it, Felix,” Elliott whispered, leaning in a little closer, so that Felix could smell even more of the luscious liquid on his breath, “but somehow, you’ve never looked so gorgeous.”

In the end, Felix didn’t know who kissed who first, but what he did know was that Elliott tasted better than any ice cream or strawberry or tuna roll he’d ever eaten. A couple of times, he was worried that he’d sliced his own tongue on a fang – Elliott’s? His own? It was impossible to tell – but even that didn’t slow him down in his search for every last dreg that Elliott hadn’t managed to swallow.

Meanwhile, Elliott’s grip on Felix’s waist tightened, their hips eventually digging into one another’s, Elliott’s back being pressed up against the edge of the countertop. Eventually, their lips parted, thanks to Elliott pulling his head back.

Felix’s eyes fluttered open, lips still bobbing as though they didn’t understand that the kiss had ended. Elliott was pressing a hand to his mouth, frowning as he let out another belch.

“I’m so sorry,” he grumbled, as though annoyed by his own body. “I just drank and you’re pressing quite hard on my stomach...”

Felix tried to shimmy back a little, though he was swiftly drawn back in by Elliott’s arms. Elliott’s eyes scanned Felix’s face, another grin tugging at his mouth.

“What?” Felix asked breathlessly.

“You’ve got, uh… Sorry, that’s my fault.” Elliott lifted a thumb to the corner of Felix’s mouth, dragging it across his lip.

“Am I messy?” Felix’s voice was a little distorted from having his lip tugged at. He batted his eyelashes at the delicious look in Elliott’s eyes.

“You’re positively radiant.” Hands slid around Felix’s neck, cupping his head and drawing him in for one last chaste kiss. “Why don’t I get you a little something to drink, and then we can head back to bed for a bit?”

Felix caught a fingernail between his teeth as Elliott and his lips moved away from him, towards the fridge again. He could feel a full-on blush starting, surprised that his body found enough red blood cells to pull off such a feat.

“Okay, darling.” 

[h-ey-bal]

Reuploaded writober, 7

Mom often asks me to grab some ingredients for her. It’s no wonder, really – dad has a lot of friends that come over, and they’re always hungry. It’s a good thing that she’s a good, good cook. I’m happy to help.

I go outside to grab some eggs. The chickens are very nice – they’re my good, good friends. Soft and kind creatures. They never-ever peck me, really, even when I pet them – mom says that it’s because they like good people. She’s probably right – who, if not chickens, would know that I’m a good kid? They see me every day, after all!

We used to have other animals, too. We used to, but then they disappeared – I don’t really know where they went. Mom says that we just couldn’t afford feeding all of them, so they felt bad about sucking our bank dry and decided to leave. Go travel the world. I hope they’re having fun, I really, really do.

I go to the garden next – it’s close by, so it only makes sense. I pull out some carrots, I collect the tomatoes – they all look very tasty and ripe. You know, we didn’t really have this much luck with veggies before. They used to grow bad. Most of them didn’t make it – I think that’s very sad. But no matter! Everything’s alright now, and it has been for a long-long time. I wonder what’s for dinner today…

The last place on the list now! The basement. I don’t like it there, but I do need to get the jars. And the meat too. So many things to carry… Good thing I have my basket with me.

I don’t really like going to the basement, actually. It’s very dark and moist in there – and it smells kind of weird. I also saw a spider there once – it had very long legs. It’s not that I’m afraid of spiders, no, I’m not a scaredy-cat! They just look weird, that’s all. No judging. I’m sure I look weird to them too.

I run down the stairs as fast as possible, keeping the door open to give me the much needed light. I barely see anything, but I still manage to find the preserve. Jam, pate, canned fruit – everything mom asked for is here! Not much meat, though. I hope it will be enough. I hope, as I sprint back up the stairs and to the kitchen – I hope, as I hand the basket to my mom.

I hope, as mom says that I have to go to the shed. I look at her sheepishly, opening my mouth to ask her for help – but she shakes her head, strict and firm. And so I go outside – I go outside and to the shed, the one that is a bit too far away from the house – the one that marks where our land ends. We don’t really have fence, so it helps quite a bit. Grabbing the axe left next to the wall I push the door open, going inside.

The man is sitting there. It barely manages to look up at me as I come closer, getting a better grip on the handle. It has really, really sad eyes – it opens his mouth and whines, showing its rotting, yellow teeth. Its whole body shakes as he does. What a sad, sad creature – I wish I could put it out of its misery, I really do. But I can’t.

I raise the axe. Mom’s a good cook. She needs the ingredients.

And I’m happy to help.

[alexibeeart]

I’m having a bad time, health-wise

cw: animal attack, medical stuff, digestion/food, money, anxiety, depression, catastrophizing

so

I’ve been trying to not like talk about this just for general privacy concerns, and to avoid worrying people, and ??? who knows, but over the past two weeks a lot of stuff has been compounding and stressing me the fuck out that all started with one event, and that’s: getting attacked by a stray cat.

on my regular, routine, neighborhood evening walk, I came across a cat walking on the sidewalk in the distance towards me. as I got closer it stopped and i kept approaching, because, you know, yay kitty cat. I thought it was someone’s house cat out for the night. it looked like a normal healthy adult cat. it wasn’t walking funny or drooling and didn’t appear sick. but when it hunched down and i could tell it was growling NOT meowing, i started to back away carefully and attempt to cross the street to leave the area. the cat wasn’t having that. it lunged at me, attached itself onto my left leg, and started biting and scratching all over. I thank whatever God Above that i was wearing long pants. I screamed and managed to shake it off after a few seconds. I didn’t see a single person come outside or check to see why some lady was screaming bloody murder on the sidewalk. I hobbled all the way home, making very sure that it wasn’t chasing me (it wasn’t, just stood there), proceded to freak the fuck out, took off my pants, and assessed the damage.

I had scratches all up and down my calf, two very large clusters of deep claw-wounds on either side of my knee, and a few bite marks on my thigh and knee. My pants were soaked in blood on the inside, i had to throw them out and i was very sad because they were my mom’s. It was bad. my family helped me clean-up, wrap-up—we bought these jam-packed first-aid kits for the house a few months back they proved to be invaluable—and drove me to the urgent care. I didn’t have to wait very long, thankfully, and was brought back into a room where i explained what happened. I got a tetanus booster, and because we didn’t know anything about the cat I was also started on the rabies vaccine. If you don’t know anything about the rabies vaccine let me tell you you don’t want to ever have to need it, but also please take it if you do. rabies is no joke. I had to be injected in all of the wound sites which hurt a lot, and then another shot in my deltoid (upper arm, same as where they give the Covid vaccine). I had to go back three more times over the next two weeks on days 3, 7, and 14 (that’s today!) to get the rest of the vaccine doses. I already had some rabies anxiety, but this has just absolutely wrecked me. I’m basically convinced that even though it’s very unlikely the cat even was rabid (we think we’ve seen it a few times since, just a skittish feral stray, we’ve also warned the neighbors and i had to report the attack to the Public Health Department), and even though i was cleaned and treated very quickly after the event and the vaccine is basically 100% effective, i’m just convinced that they did something wrong or that i’ll still die of rabies somehow anyways. it’s like a waiting game from anywhere to weeks to years to the rest of my life

I was also put on a 10day course of preventative antibiotics called Augmentin, to make sure my wounds didn’t get infected. it’s a wide-spectrum antibiotic that’s given for animal bites and other stuff. On the last day, which was this past Wednesday, i started uhhhh well let’s just say my guts are not happy. I wish one single healthcare personnel had suggested i started taking a probiotic alongside the antibiotics because apparently this particular one is prone to cause bad, sometimes awful and debilitating, digestive issues because it knocks out so much indiscriminately including the good stuff in your intestines that protects against the bad stuff, and apparently i could have saved myself all this trouble. i have to give a stool sample to the lab on Monday to find out if i potentially have something called C. diff that’s like basically just the worst bacteria ever. even if i don’t, which i probably don’t (hopefully), i’m still just feeling like shit and after all this everything just feels so horrible all the time. I’m extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. i’m hungry for actual food but i’m on a bland diet for the diarrhea. i’m just exhausted. I’m finally on a probiotic currently and maybe feeling a little better very slowly? but it’s hard to tell honestly

Between the rabies anxiety and now this, i’ve been extremely deep-diving and spiraling into the internet and just convinced that i have every worst case scenario imaginable. I am an anxious mess. Every tiny single twinge of anything in my body and i immediately decide it’s a symptom of xyz and that i’m doomed

and then there’s the money. medical bills, antibiotics, paying for gauze and bandages etc out of pocket. the rabies vaccine is very, very, very expensive! stupid expensive!!!!!! I am now facing over $11,000 in medical bills. The nurses at the urgent care gave me an HCAP application and i have worked really hard to put everything together for it and fucking pray that i’m approved for partial or full coverage. ps i’m uninsured, of course

I’m just kind of in a really, really bad place. that’s why there was no Freebie Friday this week. That’s why i haven’t managed to get any new handmade listings up, even though I currently have two things finished that i was really fucking excited about. All my energy and time goes into this, whether it’s counting the time between uhhh digestive episodes, or calling the doctor, going to the doctor, getting shots, cleaning my wounds, re-dressing my wounds, putting together stuff for financial aid, and so on

I was starting to feel better last Monday when my doctor took a look at the wounds and affirmed that everything looks like it’s healing well, no infections, and now my guts have laid me flat all over again. I also have other stuff that’s been stressing me out, including job-hunting, doing stuff as mom’s estate administrator, i was pretty fragile already

anyways, i don’t really know where i’m going with this now, maybe stay tuned if i have to fucking make a GoFundMe for all this shit and if i disappear from the internet it’s because i’m either just too depressed to do anything or i’m dead from rabies or i’ve shit myself to death from C. diff or God Knows What Else

yeah i don’t know yall please stay away from stray cats i am so fucked up from all of this i love cats I’ve always had cats and i’m finding myself nervous around my own sweet indoor girls right now