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farfromsugafanfic · 4 years ago

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Sutures - Chapter Four: Urge

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): mentions of hickeys, Sumi’s ex is a dick, making out, heavy petting, smut lead up, smut themes

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Notes: This was originally written and completed on Wattpad between 2018 and the beginning of 2020. I’ll be slowly posting the chapters here. I may make a tag list depending on if enough people want to follow along with updates. Leave me some feedback if you would like added to a tag list.

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You hugged Kitty to your chest and made your way to the kitchen. You heard the rustling of pots and pans and Jimin's laughter. Even though you'd only known Jimin for under two days, his laughter quickly become one of your favorite sounds, something that never made you smile. However, most of the time you weren't horrendously hungover.

"Morning," you said, trying to muster a small smile, even though your head was pounding.

Three of the seven boys who lived in the dorm turned to look at you. Yoongi was already sat at the table, scrolling through his phone, a bowl of fruit in front of him. Hoseok was in the kitchen and Jimin sat on the opposite end of the table from Yoongi, his legs swinging freely. You smiled at how close the boys were and how comfortable they were with each other. It made you feel even worse for intruding in on the bond.

"Good morning," the boys said, nearly in unison.

"Jimin," you said. "Did you put Kitty in the box to come here?"

Jimin shook his head, glancing down to the stuffed cat you held in your arms.

"No, I put him in the donation pile as you wanted."

"Huh," you said, holding Kitty out in front of you and smiling at her fondly. "Well, I'm glad she found her way here anyway."

Jimin smiled at you, his eyes some mixture of happiness for you and worry.

"Did we get internet back?"

The boys exchanged glances and nodded.

You looked over to Yoongi, who was now looking up from his phone. His dark eyes were boring straight into you, and you suspected he already knew what you were going to ask.

"Did you find out who got the shoes?"

The room fell silent, except for the tap which Hoseok accidentally left on as he had looked up at you. You didn't know who it could possibly be that would elicit such a response, but Yoongi's face softened as he stood.

"Park Minki."

You blinked in disbelief, wondering if the hangover had somehow messed with your hearing. Yoongi's eyes were softer, the softest they had been in the seventy two hours you'd known him.

"My ex?" you choked out.

Yoongi nodded.

---

You took a deep breath as you stood in front of the full length mirror and strategically placed the scarf around your neck. The bruises weren't as prominent as the day before, but you feared Minki would still notice them. The rest of your outfit was quite simple, a pair of jeans and a nice top. You wore your hair down, hoping it too would help hide Yoongi's marks on your neck.

When you'd broken up with Minki, you'd thought you'd never have to see the boy again. While you still loved him, you knew seeing him again would hurt you, but you wanted to handle this yourself. For whatever reason bought the shoes, you knew it couldn't be settled with money. He wanted to see you again, wanted you to see him again.

While you normally would just forget the shoes, Yoongi's reputation was on the line. And yours for that matter. You may not be an idol, but the fact you were connected to one, could be enough to destroy you.

"Do you really want to look that good for your ex?" Yoongi said, entering your bedroom with a soft knock on your open door. He was dressed wearing just a simple sweatshirt and jeans, a snapback covering his dyed hair and a mask pulled down under his chin.

"What? Jealous?" you smirked, giving up on arranging the scarf and turning to face him.

"No," he said. "I just thought you didn't care what he thought anymore." He walked closer to you, the faint smell of his cologne tickling your nose. His fingers reached up and moved the scarf so it that it covered the half of a hickey that was still partially visible. "Obviously, you do."

He stepped away from you the scent of him still lingering in his place. You were almost disappointed when he stepped away, wishing you could fall asleep in his scent.

"I'm sorry you have to come," you said. "And miss out on work."

"I can work when we get back," he said. "Besides, it would be a whole lot worse for both of us if I didn't come." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a mask. "Wear this, if we run into any paparazzi it will be harder for them to identify you."

You nodded, looping the mask around your ears and pulling it up over your mouth. Yoongi pulled his up and nodded to you, asking if you were ready.

You nodded in affirmation, but you felt the butterflies in your stomach. You didn't think you would ever be ready.

---

You entered the cafe first. You spotted Minki almost immediately, he was seated at a table near the middle, you could see the shoes placed on the table. You already felt a twinge of embarrassment, knowing he'd displayed them so publicly.

You pulled down the mask and sat down across from him. His mouth widened into a smirk when you sat down, something you used to love about him, but now it just felt like he was mocking you.

"You look nice," he said.

"Thanks," you said, trying not to meet his gaze.

You noticed Yoongi walk past you and sit at a table behind Minki's view, but facing you. You met his eyes momentarily but didn't want Minki to see your wandering gaze. Minki had a temper occasionally, and while he had never hurt you, you feared he wouldn't hesitate to hurt Yoongi. And even though you and Yoongi weren't exactly friends, you still didn't want him to get hurt because of you.

"So, why'd you leave the shoes at the bar?" Minki asked.

"Does that really matter, Minki? They're mine, I just want them back."

"You fucked him? Didn't you?"

You clenched your fists and looked at the black pumps sitting on the table. You sighed and tried to collect your thoughts.

"How'd you know they were mine?"

"You don't think I wouldn't recognize the shoes I bought you for your birthday last year?" The smirk was on his face again, like a mosquito that you wanted to kill, but that was just out of your reach. "I picked them out especially for you, remember?"

You did remember. How he told you that he went to multiple shoes, trying to find the perfect shoes. Settling on a pair of black pumps. "Simple, like you," he'd said when he gave them to you.

"Now that we've broken up, they're mine now? Since I paid for them?"

You wanted to bang your fists down on the table and scream at him until he was as scared of you as you were of him. You wanted to swat the smirk from his face. You wanted to point out all the things you'd bought him. All the baseball game tickets. The T-shirt he wore. Half the down payment on his car.

"I don't care," you said. "Do whatever you want with them. I just want to leave."

Minki softened then. He'd seen you break down multiple times before, he knew the signs. The way you hid your face. The way you tried to curl yourself into a ball, no matter where you were.

"He's here, isn't here?" your ex asked. "You're not mine to protect anymore." His hand cupped the fabric of your knee. You felt shivers run down your spine as tears pricked at your eyes.

You noticed his eyes wandering down to your neck and where the scarf had moved aside. There was no sense in trying to deny what the scarf revealed.

"Huh," he said. "You never let me do that."

"I never was yours to protect," you said, your eyes red and tear stained, trying to ignore his last comment. You reached down and moved his hand from your knee. You felt his palm beneath your fingertips and the sensation ran through your body. You felt his hands on you again, your body grew warm, but not in the pleasant way. You needed to get out. Without any more thought, you grabbed your things and ran from the cafe.

---

Yoongi's body stiffened as he watched Minki's hand grab your knee. He wanted to push Minki away from you, shield you from ever having to feel the other boy's touch again. He saw the way your cheek's flushed, although not in the cute way. He saw as you tried to shift away, he could feel your discomfort.

Your scarf had slipped slightly, revealing part of one of the bruises. Yoongi knew the other boy saw based on the way he shifted forward.

"Huh, you never let me do that," the other boy said.

Yoongi's jaw stiffened. Part of him wanted to rip him apart for bringing attention to something that you obviously hadn't wanted Minki to see, but there was a small buzzing inside of him. One night and you allowed him to do something you'd never allowed your previous boyfriend to do for years. He repressed the pride as you tearfully ran out the door.

Yoongi waited a moment to get up and follow you, not wanting to draw too much attention. He made eye contact with Minki as he walked past, pulling down his mask momentarily, but pulling it back up as he walked through the door of the cafe.

---

You curled yourself into the car seat, pulling your legs into your stomach and hiding your face against the car door. You put on your seatbelt, knowing Yoongi would follow you out.

Yoongi opened the car door a minute or so later, greeting the driver as he did so and telling him to take both of you back to the dorm. He pulled down his mask and put on his seatbelt.

"Why do you let him talk to you like that?" Yoongi asked.

You scoffed, trying to hide your tears. The last thing you wanted was Yoongi to see your tears, you felt like if you allowed yourself to cry in front of him, it would somehow strengthen the bond. Yoongi was so strong and allowing him to see your weakness terrified you.

"He's my ex for a reason, okay?"

"Well, we still need to get the shoes back somehow. You sure money won't work with him?"

"He just wants to humiliate me," you said, choking slightly on the words. "Do we really need to get them back? I mean, they're just shoes. How much harm could really be done?"

Yoongi's eyes widened and his form stiffened.

"You really don't realize, do you?" He looked out the window in slight disbelief before turning back to you. "I guess, this explains how you didn't recognize me."

"Yoongi..."

"Even just the rumors of what happened between us could destroy both of us," he said. "My fans need someone they can trust and look up to. Most of them don't even know I'm not with Jihee anymore. They know about the soulmate thing, but we only used that to find you. We're going to deny it later, anyway."

"You didn't have to sleep with me then," you said. "If you would've just pushed me off your lap, none of this would've happened."

"If you wouldn't have fallen in my lap, none of this would've happened."

You sighed, silence ensuing. The road noise the only sound. Even the driver was silent from behind the partition.

"Sumi..." Yoongi said, his hand suddenly coming to rest just above your knee. His fingertips digging into the fabric of your jeans. His touch was warm, but instead of overheating as you did with Minki's touch, your temperature matched his.

"What?" you asked, but your question was soon answered as you felt heat rise in your stomach. Suddenly, Yoongi appeared less like the image obsessed jerk of a few minutes ago and looked more like the man you met at the bar three days ago.

You unhooked your seatbelt and straddled Yoongi's lap, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks as his ran up to play with your hair. Your lips connected and nearly immediately his tongue slipped between yours.

Yoongi's hat--which you hadn't paid much attention to before--suddenly was in your way. You ripped it off, exposing his messy hair. It was obvious he hadn't styled it before putting on the snapback, but you liked it better that way, it allowed your fingers to tangle in his hair.

"The windows?" you asked, falling back onto the seat as Yoongi unhooked his seatbelt and hovered over you.

"They're tinted," he said, grabbing hold of your scarf and pulled it over your head. It landed somewhere on the floor of the car, out of sight. "Don't worry, no one will see."

He leaned down and latched onto your lips once again. His hands wandering under the hem of your shirt, causing it to ride up slightly. You splayed your fingers against his firm chest, causing him to stop momentarily.

"What?" he asked.

"I think...I think this is what the doctor was talking about..." you said. "I think we need to stop."

Despite your words, your hands slipped underneath his sweatshirt, feeling the warm skin beneath. You wanted to feel that skin against you, but before you could pull it over his head, he surprised you, by pulling up your shirt, exposing your stomach.

"I'll do it lower this time," he said, his voice raspy and lower than normal. "So you don't have to worry about hiding them." His lips latched onto the skin of your stomach, causing you to release a small moan as you ran your fingers from his hairline and down to the nape of his neck.

"Yoongi..."

"Why'd you have to wear that perfume for him? It drives me crazy."

He curved his two index fingers into the belt loop of your jeans and tugged slightly, not to pull them down, but rather to tease you.

"You're for my eyes only."

"Yoongi," you said. "We need to stop."

Yoongi pulled away, a sheepish look crossing his face. He pulled down your shirt and sat back in the seat.

You, too, sat back up, trying to catch your breath. Your heart was racing, partially from the thoughts of the feel of his lips, but you were scared. You felt so out of control, something had taken you over entirely. It wasn't a secret that you were attracted to Yoongi, you did willingly sleep with him, but the urges pulled you together, even when you least wanted it.

"That was...that was...weird..."

Yoongi nodded in agreement, reaching down and retrieving your scarf. You did the same with his hat and you exchanged the items.

You watched out the window as the car pulled into the driveway of the dorm. You glanced back over at Yoongi, noticing a bit of your lipstick managed to cling to his bottom lip. You chuckled slightly before reaching over and using your thumb to wipe it from his lip.

He watched you, not making any movement to stop you, but your gaze shifted downward, not able to meet his eyes.

"Lipstick," you said.

The driver opened the door and the two of you walked back into the dorm.

---

Jihee (9:02 am): Good morning handsome :)

Jihee (11:15 am): I heard about the shoe business. You always use to complain about having to take off mine.

Jihee (11:17 am): You should tell her to be more careful though. :)

Jihee (1:20 pm): Babe...please just respond to me...

Jihee (1:21 pm): You're making me seem desperate.

Jihee (4:45 pm): Her picture's out there now, you know? Some guy saying she cheated with you.

Jihee (5:00 pm): She doesn't look like the type to cheat.

Jihee (6:34 pm): The more I think about it...the less she seems like your type. Especially for a rebound.

Jihee (7:00 pm): You could do much better if you wanted to Oppa. She's kind of pretty and all, but don't you think she's a little simple?

Yoongi (7:02 pm): Whatever this is, is between us. Leave her out of it.

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svnnnne · 2 years ago

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nonsense op this is delicious send them over anytime - i encourage whole heartedly *chef kissy back*

i also have more if you wish to chew over it haha

otherwise i will wait for whatever your drawing demons will offer!!!

how can i forget about luna!!!!! as long as mona gets to go to the country with everyone this is accepted to me (i will accept the sadder hc of mine where it is the sakura family's beloved cat who just got processed)

sumire as sybil is like such a long windy process for me to write out because in my feelings i think she fits pretty well. but logically? uh... brain broken!!! so she's getting her own section

i should also think about who's in the camerata haha

i don't know if i can handle sophia being processed wah;;; she's my baby girl too!!!

thank you for enjoying the yusuke lore!!! i also think the day yusuke hears "into the crystalline blue" he has to run after ren immediately to tell him how he felt. ren probably thought it was some intense fan confession but yusuke starts to talk about how something feels off about cloudbank and they start talking because of that. i also think yusuke probably would like to paint the sky for ren one day as thanks (but he never will because um transistor events aaa i made myself sad)

i think iwai building the transistor would be crazy cool though i remember vaguely like royce literally finding the transistor in that slot at the cradle (?) though i could be remembering wrong. if he was integrated early though because he stumbled on some knowledge early... im sad!!!!

hc accepted on us destroying makoto's bike. i don't know if you remember but there is another bike that makes it near the end of the game. i think that should also be makoto's bike. goro quips he's surprised it survived lmao

also in your tags sjkdgsdkjg "it's not the same when i can't hear you argue with me"???? i raise these canon lines below: Unknown: That's my star. Could always handle yourself. Just fine... I love you so much, Red. You know that, right? It's true. It's true...it's true. (i need to lie down) Unknown: You know I...never thought much of Highrise. Far from the water. Then I found out...you lived here. (i am decomposing as we speak-) Unknown: They got Junction Jan's? Where are we going to get our flatbread now? ... This is a tragedy. (leblanc noo-) Red (terminal): None of this is coming through anymore is it... Unknown: I think you're right. Red (terminal): Though you still hear me don't you... Unknown: Of course. Of course I do. Red (terminal): You're all I have. Unknown: Red... Red (terminal): There has to be... Red (terminal): There has to be a way to get you out of there. Unknown: We'll figure it out when we get there. Red (terminal): Yes we will. (im deceased) the unused voicelines for red for the ending? (snarky bfs together)

have you also considered red when humming and not in battle always hugs the transistor? very lovingly? as if dancing? (aaa)

Sumire as Sybil

initial thoughts for me placing sumire as sybil was the fact that she was dealing with her sister (which is why i also had that initial convoluted plot device of a sumi yoshizawa lmao). kasumi may have joined the camerata because she wanted to make her mark on the city of cloudbank through her events but as we know, everything in cloudbank is driven by polls. is it even worth it to be the best event planner when polls dictate everything? events after events... and for what? (a very loose interpretation of her goals to be top gymnast at the olympics). the idea of her heading to the country prematurely is very intriguing though!! perhaps she knew... too much.

sumire on the other hand? we're adding the same goal here - to be the best event planner - plus the feelings she has towards being her sister's shadow? if her sister disappeared and she was offered to take her sister's spot...hm... such complex feelings!!!!

why she falls in love with ren and his music is because i truly believe red in-game is depressed or at least struggling with how she sees the world and how her music is received by the people. i said before it's always in response to events happening in cloudbank but moreso in the way that she actually has controversial opinions about cloudbank lmao - people get outraged over her songs as much as people love them - hell she even has a bodyguard for these reasons, had to take some time off, and i find she censors a lot of her more controversial thoughts when she types on the terminals honestly. i like to think even my own spin with "into the crystalline blue" was ren staring at that same sky yusuke painted for ann and somehow managed to pick up some dark feelings associated with it (since ann's request is for a very sad reason). i think somehow sumire (and many others) find those kinds of dark feelings in red's songs comforting and that's what makes then really attractive... hence why the infatuation starts with the music.

sumire probably gets a chance to plan for one of ren's concerts and i can only best assume this is where she falls in love with him...until goro enters the picture. and it all falls apart from there because there's no ren to talk out her feelings like in the actual p5 game without heartbreak.

in transistor it does seem like sybil aims to save red despite giving her as a target. by having unknown take the fall, she can gain red's favour and keep her alive (by having her join them... though i think she would be very mad at this prospect). i think sumire could have thought: even if he doesn't return my affections, if i can keep ren alive through this method, surely he would join us due to our very close feelings on how we feel about cloudbank?

anyway, i always think of this line by unknown after we defeat sybil in game unknown: sybil...after our run in... i don't think she ever left i know sybil is apart of the camerata but i find it very hard to place her as an antagonist (in the evil sense) and just a person who unfortunately never had their feelings returned. she may had been contributing to the camerata as their ears and eyes in search for targets (her backdoor space sure must had been handy haha) but somehow i get the feeling she doesn't truly know about the transistor's true capabilities like royce and grant do (iffy on asher). could be wrong though haha - need to doublecheck!

anyway i also think of sybil being saved by red despite the song "in circles" playing during her boss fight. even when red's song states i won't save you (won't means being capable but not doing so)... sybil actually gets a process rate of 0%!!! i find that... oddly beautiful... in a way. she was saved... even if she could only be with red through the transistor. together forever? (it's fine we will all be happy in the country sobs)

I saw your transistor au and I'm in love with it 😍 What abilities do you think the thieves would have? Would they be the same as the game or something else? 👀

ehe thank you im glad you enjoy my scribbles about it (i will draw more soon bc brainworms)

for the q - honestly i have not thought that far if we are talking about functions ٩( ᐛ )و

im assuming anyone who has played the game can probably match who i based the thieves on but it only goes so far as who they are in cloudbank and how they contribute to the city as citizens but very loosely. it’s more fun to me to play sandbox pre-transistor events but i digress!!

thinking about it now, im not sure if i want their abilities to stick too closely to the game? for example, i based yusuke off farrah yon dale - because the concept of a skypainter who could not paint anymore is very delicious - but her function switch() doesn’t feel like yusuke? compared to say ryuji where i took some inspo from olmarq and wave tennegan but respectively the function load() and cull() could potentially work for him. open to being convinced though if you have any thoughts ✨

#p5xtransistor au #thank U op #the meal is delicious #and i will draw for this once i finish some stuff up #and i think other people should send me transistor au thoughts bc this is fun #q

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juuten · 4 years ago

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For You | Tenma Sumeragi

@chewie-santatoast says: Merry Christmas! How about ‘secrets’ with Tenten? ❤️💚🤍🧡

Aimee replies: Hello! Thank you so much for requesting! Sorry I couldn’t greet you ‘Merry Christmas’ during that time :< That’s why I wish you a very advanced Merry Christmas! Also, stay safe and healthy!

This fic really took me a while to finish mainly because I needed to revise/shorten lots of parts. But surprisingly, I didn’t stray away from my initial idea when I thought of secrets and Tenma.

Anyway, the story takes place before Act 2. I hope this story will make you smile :D

For ‘A December with You’ event.

Today, Summer Troupe made sure to have the living room for themselves.

Fairy lights hung on the walls, painting the living room with an orange glow. Blankets and pillows surrounded the coffee table with a plate of onigiris on it. However, a winter’s night would never be complete without steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Muku delicately placed three mugs beside the onigiris, Yuki setting down the other two.

“Mr. Triangle!” Misumi grinned at the familiar triangle drawn on his cup of hot chocolate.

Muku grabbed his cup and giddily sat on his star-patterned blanket. "Mine's a crown!"

"The bear's almost like mine.” If one looked closely, a small smile dangled on Yuki’s lips.

Tenma reached for his mug and peeked at what Kazunari drew for him. "Is this a bonsai?"

"Yep yep!" Kazunari sat on his spot in the living room. Then he winked and made a peace sign. “Kazunari Miyoshi’s latte art, everyone!”

Tenma's lips curled upwards. "Not bad."

"Yippie! Now everything's set," Kazunari clapped his hands, "Operation ‘Tenten Living as a Non-Celeb: Christmas Edition,’ start!”

But before Kazunari had the chance to show off his plans, the doorbell rang. Muku, being closest to the door, set down his mug and stood up.

"Who is it?" Muku said as he opened the door.

A brunette man wearing a gray suit smiled at him. “Good evening and advanced Merry Christmas, Muku-san.”

“Ah, Igawa-san! Likewise." Muku politely bowed.

Igawa set down an enormous sack on the ground. It looked like it was about to burst at any moment. "Please accept these gifts for the MANKAI members. Sumeragi-san and I chose them with utmost care."

Then Igawa placed a thick scrapbook on Muku’s hands. "Also, please give this to Tenma-kun."

Muku obediently nodded. "I will! And thank you so much, Igawa-san!"

Igawa bowed and bid farewell before driving off. Muku secured the scrapbook under his armpit. Then he rolled up his sleeves. Pulling the sack with all his might, he trudged towards the living room.

“Mukkun, are you- Woah! Where did that super-duper big sack come from?” Kazunari’s eyes became as wide as saucers when he saw the boy set down the sack beside the Christmas tree.

“It’s from Igawa-san and Tenma-kun's parents. They're gifts for us," Muku said in between pants. Tenma made a mental note to call his parents later.

Misumi put a familiar yellow triangle with a Santa Hat on Muku’s palms. “I'll give you Mr. Triangle Claus!”

Muku giggled and said thanks. When Muku returned to his spot, he presented the scrapbook to Tenma. “Tenma-kun, Igawa-san said this scrapbook was for you."

Tenma looked at him with confusion. Igawa always dropped off gifts from fans at his house while he delivered the important ones to the dorms. The gifts for the members were certainly one of those. However, the scrapbook was questionable. He was sure his parents did not make this; their careers always ate almost all of their time. Igawa was possible. However, Tenma knew managing his schedule was currently hectic. He always received more offers for both acting and modeling during the Christmas season.

Suddenly, another potential person popped inside his head. With wide eyes, Tenma said, “Muku, who did it come from?"

“Um…” Muku flipped the scrapbook. He stumbled upon some initials at the far corner of the scrapbook. “There’s (First Letter of First Name) (First Letter of Last Name) written at the bottom.”

Within a blink of an eye, Tenma grabbed the scrapbook from his hands. All of the Summer Troupe members looked at each other in mild bewilderment.

Kazunari was the first one to recover as he playfully nudged Tenma’s arm. “Hey, Tenten, who’s (First Letter of First Name) (First Letter of Last Name)?”

“S-someone I'm close with!”

Yuki suspiciously eyed Tenma as he drank his cup. “Hm…”

Tenma fidgeted under his gaze. “Wh-what is it?”

Yuki placed his cup on the coffee table. Then with a menacing look, he said, “If you don’t tell us who they are, I’ll make you wear that rabbit costume again on Veludo Way. This time, alone.”

Misumi grinned. “I want to see rabbit Tenma again."

“That was supposed to be a one-time thing!” Tenma protested.

“Maybe the money-grubbing yakuza will increase the budget for costumes if I tell him the hack will advertise MANKAI Company this Christmas.” Yuki tapped his chin in thought.

Tenma grumbled. He was always careful to not expose your relationship with him when he was barely prepared. But now that his reputation (dignity) was on the line, he could not remain tight-lipped. Letting out a defeated sigh, he said, “Fine. I’ll tell you.”

Tenma breathed in before saying, “The initials stand for (First Name) (Last Name). It’s my girlfriend’s name.”

“Someone managed to date the hack, huh," Yuki said.

“What do you mean by that!” The man in question violently reacted.

"Hold up, fam. Since we're on this topic," Kazunari wrapped his shoulder around the orange-haired man and shot him a grin, “we should look at the scrapbook together!"

Tenma glared at Kazunari. “No way. And this isn’t part of your operation or what in the first place!”

"It's fine, it's fine!" When Tenma still had a scowl on his face, Kazunari clasped his hands and pleadingly looked at him. "C'mon, Tenten! Please!"

Tenma hugged the scrapbook to his chest. He knew he was doomed to be teased once he showed the scrapbook. Knowing you, you put lots of pictures he was unaware that you took them. Nevertheless, this was a risk he would rather take instead of wearing a rabbit costume for the whole Veludo to see. Besides, he trusted that his members would never leak his and your private lives to the public.

Tenma unwrapped his arms from the scrapbook and placed it on his lap. “Fine. But no taking of pictures or videos.” With that, everyone sat closer to Tenma.

Tenma’s heart pounded as he opened the scrapbook. A photo of a smiling couple sitting on a flowery meadow filled up the upper part of the first page. Below the picture was a handwritten caption that said, "First date planned by Yours Truly ☆." Then at the bottom of the page, there was a colored drawing of the meadow. Tenma's eyes widened in astonishment. Your illustration looked the same as he remembered. The difference was you put a dried sunflower at the center above the flowery meadow and drew its stem.

"(First Name)'s drawing and design are totes amazing! Kudos to her!" Kazunari said, which Tenma replied with a proud 'of course!'

Muku turned to the orange-haired man with excitement gleaming in his eyes. "Tenma-kun, what did you do on your first date?"

"Did you find triangles with her?" Misumi asked.

"Only the Trianglian will do that there," Yuki commented.

“We had a picnic, talked and took some photos. Then, uh...” Tenma scratched his head, trying to remember any fascinating but not too embarrassing moments from his first date. "We also played Twenty One Questions.”

“So what do you do?” Tenma asked the moment you proposed this game.

“We just alternately ask each other twenty-one questions and answer them. The questions can be about anything at all!” A mischievous glint passed your eyes, which you covered up with a smile.

Your boyfriend seemed to be unaware of it as he smirked. “I’ve handled many interviews, so this one’s easy.”

“It’s still your first time playing this though. That’s why I’ll start asking you.” You intertwined your hands with his. Then with the most serious face you could muster, you said, “If you meet an alien who lands in Japan, what is the first thing you will give them?”

You tried to hold back your laughter when you saw his dumbfounded face. He was so confident seconds ago, and now, he was a flustered mess.

You brushed your thumbs on his hands to help him relax. “It’s only a hypothetical question, Tenma-san. You don’t need to think too much about it.”

“Still, how did you even come up with that question?”

You wagged your index finger. “It’s not yet your turn to ask a question.”

“I can’t ask at all?!”

“That’s a question, Tenma-san.”

Tenma groaned, making you laugh. Then he scratched his head. “I’ll give the alien a map of Japan, I guess.”

You frowned. “I don’t know if they can understand our language though.” Then you shook your head. “Well, a map’s still a good choice!”

You squeezed his hands. “It’s your turn to ask a question, Tenma-san.”

Now that Tenma paid attention to it, you still used an honorific for him. It was progress compared to the early days wherein you called him by his last name. At that time, it was so awkward for him; it felt like you two were co-workers instead of lovers. But even now, he wanted you to be comfortable with him. With those thoughts, he said, “You know you could drop the honorific, right?”

You nodded. “I know. But I can’t just casually call someone who I really respect and admire.”

At the corner of your eye, you saw a pair of bloomed sunflowers near your side. You unclasped your hands from his and plucked the sunflowers. Giving one to him, you said with a tender smile, “To my sunflower who I adore.”

Muku tightly hugged his pillow to his chest. “That’s so romantic of (First Name)-san!”

“Yeah… but then she asked another random question for the game.” Tenma sighed at that. Then he looked at the next page. Red painted his cheeks as he saw a stolen shot of him eating your homemade sandwich.

“The sandwich is a triangle!” Misumi grinned.

“You’re right, Sumi! It is!” Kazunari patted him on the back.

Meanwhile, Yuki pointed at the picture and said, “Hack, you eat like a kid. Look at the crumbs on your mouth.”

“It only happened during that time! Besides… (First Name)’s sandwich was delicious,” Tenma murmured the latter part as he munched on an onigiri.

As Tenma continued to tell what happened in the other photos, his gaze softened. He never thought that he would enter a romantic relationship and last this long. After all, school and his career demanded so much of his attention. But this scrapbook proved him wrong. It carried the many memories both of you made. If he had to choose his fondest memory of you, it would be you watching his performance. Tenma beamed with pride whenever he saw you laughing, crying, or overall getting hooked alongside the audience. It meant that Summer Troupe’s efforts paid off. Moreover, he got to express his gratitude towards you through his acting. Nonetheless, the ambitious actor would never stop improving and showing you the best performance.

As Tenma flipped to another page, a photo fell out and landed beside Kazunari’s lap. The latter looked down and picked it up. Kazunari stopped chewing his onigiri, his jaw dropping in surprise.

“OMG! Tenten, you look super cute!” Tenma had no time to react as Kazunari shoved the photo to his face. Tenma grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand out of the way.

“Kazunari, what-”

The orange-haired man froze. Out of all the pictures, why did you include this one in the scrapbook? It was a photo he definitely could not show to anyone without stripping his dignity away. But you were an exception since you begged for it as your birthday present. Still, you owning the photo did not mean you could put it without letting him know first! Anyone else could see it the moment the scrapbook landed at the dorm. And news traveled fast in a dorm with many people.

Misumi giggled. “It’s baby Tenma.”

“He doesn’t have the ‘Ore-sama’ air around him yet,” Yuki said as he stared at the photo.

Tenma snapped out of his trance and snatched the picture from Kazunari. "Oi! You don’t need to see it!”

Misumi tilted his head in wonder. “But it was in the scrapbook.”

"Yeah, but still!"

Then Muku noticed the black ink on the back of the polaroid. Tugging on Tenma’s sleeve, he said, “Tenma-kun, I think there’s something written at the back.”

Tenma begrudgingly flipped the photo on its back. He immediately recognized your handwriting that wrote the following message:

I hope your true friends will see all of your sides that I love, including this one.

P.S., Merry Christmas, Tenma-san! I hope you like my gift ♡

Tenma covered his face with his hand, trying to fight off the smile forming on his lips.

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! game #tenma sumeragi #tenma sumeragi x reader #yuki rurikawa #muku sakisaka #kazunari miyoshi #misumi ikaruga #summer troupe #a3! imagines #a3! scenarios #A December with You #aimee writes

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dark-mnjiro · 4 years ago

Text

desperate measures . part one

Theme: post breakup/rekindle romance, sharing hotel room trope, multi-part fic, oikawa toru x f!reader

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (later), angst and fluff, alcohol use, also original character in this (only for plot purposes), aged up characters

Author’s Note: So I’m not sure where this idea came from other than taking a “bed sharing” trope and going maybe one step further with a “room sharing” trope. This is my first Haikyuu fic and I’m terribly nervous about posting it, especially as this fic is multi-part and a gift to the lovely @shinsotired who also made me this gif because she’s a gem and I love her so much. D: She pretty much encouraged me to write for haikyuu and forced me to watch the anime to begin with - so I figured I’d write her favorite character :P

-------

Part One

Bouncing your leg, you pulled his warm-up jacket, with his number one plastered on the back, closer to your body as your eyes lit up watching your boyfriend play his final match. You caught a glimpse of his chocolate eyes looking up in the stands for you, causing your breath to catch in your throat before embarrassment crept up your neck before burning at your cheeks. The whistle blew again before you watched him return his attention to the game as you watched him do his signature jump serve.

The entirety of Aoba Johsai erupted in cheers as you watched him ace another serve on the opposite side of the net. You jumped to your feet before throwing your arms around your best friend, Sumiye, sitting next to you. She giggled in response as you both peeled away from one another and turned your attention back to the game.

“Oikawa’s serves are amazing today!” she squealed.

“I know,” you replied, clutching his warm-up jacket closer to your body. “He and Hajime are doing amazing. This match has been insane. It’s like they’re playing a completely different team from the last time.”

“You know,” Sumiye said, grinning. “Oikawa owes them all ramen if they lose the match, at least that’s what Hamije texted me last night before I went to bed. Boys are so weird.”

You opened your mouth to respond when the entire crowd gasped forcing you to turn back to the match and seeing the score read: 24-25, favoring Karasuno. “...one more point and they win the set,” you whispered. You felt your spine go rigid as you watched the next serve take place.

“Don’t worry,” Sumiye said, grabbing your hand. “They always manage… no matter what!”

The words from the court of “CHANCE BALL” echoed throughout the gymnasium, pulling your attention back toward the game. Your eyes went wide as you watched Oikawa rush out of bounds at the ball after being knocked out by a fellow teammate. A rush of anxiety washed over you as you watched him point to Iwaizumi and manage to hit a perfect set toward him before tumbling into the seats along the sidelines. He jumped to his feet, rushing back to his vice-captain for assistance as Karasuno managed to read the play to set up to block the spike.

“COME ON!” Sumiye screamed out to Iwaizumi, jumping up onto her seat. “HIT IT HAJIME!”

To your relief, you heard Iwazumi make contact with the ball before slamming it down onto the Karasuno side before being received by the Karasuno captain, Daichi, before rocketing out of bounds. “YES!” you screamed, jumping up next to Sumiye on the seat. “IT’LL BE OUT NOW! THEY’LL TIE!”

“...oh no.” You heard Sumiye’s voice as you watched another member of Karasuno strike the ball back in bounds and toward the ace. The ball was spiked hard back toward Aoba Johsai before being stopped and hit into the net. You felt your stomach rising almost to your throat as your grip on Sumiye’s hand tightened before Mad Dog was able to strike the ball back into the air and over the net toward…

“Kageyama…” you said, your body beginning to tremble as you watched Oikawa move his position on the court.

“BLOCK HIM!” Sumiye screamed as Kageyama’s attempt to spike was blocked and struck the Karasuno’s vice-captain in the face before Kageyama moved to set the ball again.

Your eyes widened, noticing number ten on the other team on Karasuno’s side rushed towards the net at lightning speed. This had to be the secret weapon of Karasuno that Oikawa had always mentioned to you after every practice where you would greet him to walk home. Your boyfriend’s eyes were fixated on his rival’s movements before shifting towards number ten.

“N-no way, he broke the wall!” Sumiye shouted.

Oikawa quickly moved to slide across the floor before receiving the ball. The sound of contact with his hand echoed throughout the gymnasium before seeing the ball soar behind Oikawa. Your stomach fell to your feet as the whistle screeched over the roaring crowd. The ball had fallen out of bounds, earning Karasuno the winning point.

Tears beaded at the corner of your eyes as you took a step down from your seat. Your hands clutched Oikawa’s jacket even tighter before you felt Sumiye pull you into another hug. Her body trembled and you could almost tell she was crying with you. “They-they played so well,” she managed out before tightening her grip.

Placing your hands on her shoulders, you gently pushed her away and flashed her a tearful grin. “Let’s go see our boys,” you whispered. “They probably need us more than ever now…”

—

“Sumi—”

You watched your best friend sprint to her boyfriend, Iwaizumi, before she reached out and brushed the remaining tears in his eyes away with her thumb. It was clear he was embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state by her but immediately pulled her into a bear hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. Sumiye’s arms snaked around his waist, returning the display of affection. “You did so well,” she cooed. “I’m so proud of you.”

Iwaizumi finally took notice of you standing behind Sumiye and a sigh fell from his lips before pulling away from his girlfriend. “Shittykawa is still in the locker room pouting,” he said flatly. “Maybe you can drag his ass out otherwise we can leave him here.”

“Hajime!” Sumiye hissed, smacking his chest. “Not now.”

He merely shrugged. “What? He is. He’s acting like a child,” he explained. “He’s upset she saw him lose…”

A giggle bubbled from your throat. “Thanks, Iwa,” you replied before racing toward the locker room. You slowly pushed open the door, careful to shield yourself from other guys that happened to be left as you stepped inside. “Toru?” you asked softly. “Are you still here? Iwa said you were…”

“I’m here,” he mumbled, sitting on a bench alone, resting his head in his hands. “I told Iwa-chan I wanted to be alone…”

You kneeled in front of Oikawa before placing your hand on his thigh. “Hey,” you whispered. “He figured I could drag you out so you didn’t miss the bus ride home.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he replied, refusing to look up at you.

“Toru… You did well.”

“...not well enough.”

Your hands moved to his wrists before pulling his hands away from his face. His dark eyes were swollen from tears as he sniffed back a sob. Immediately, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into you. He hid his face in your shoulder, trying to force back his tears. “You were amazing Toru,” you whispered, stroking his hair. “I was so impressed, especially that last set. You fell into those chairs just to save your team. You even landed on your bad knee.”

“...you noticed?”

You giggled lightly. “Of course I noticed. You were wincing when you got back to your feet. Does it still hurt?” You felt him shake his head against your shoulder before turning his head and planting his lips against your neck. “Toru, let’s get you changed and ready for the bus okay?”

“I just wish I could’ve faced Ushijima one last time,” Oikawa mumbled.

“Well seeing as you'll be a world-famous volleyball player one day,” you commented. “I’m sure you’ll get your chance to face him again, and win.”

He chuckled in response. “You think so?”

“I know so,” you replied, pulling back before kissing him lightly.

“...hey,” he whispered, grabbing your wrists gently. “I need to talk to you about something…”

Tilting your head to the side, your eyes blinked in confusion. “What is it?”

“Argentina called…”

Your stomach dropped to the floor, “Did they?”

His eyes gazed up to catch yours. “I love you. You know that right?” he said as you gave him a silent nod. Leaning his forehead against yours, a sigh fell from his lips before he closed his eyes. “If you want me to stay… I’ll stay for you. Just compete on the Japanese team—”

Pulling away from him, your eyes went wide, shaking your head furiously at him. “Absolutely not,” you tutted. “You will not give up on your dream just because of me!”

“But,” Oikawa mumbled, sheepishly. “I don’t know when I’d be able to see you again. I can’t just leave you.”

Your eyes softened. “But Toru, you deserve to chase your dreams. Please don’t let me hold you back…” you replied. As much as it pained you to say those words, you knew deep down you could never be responsible for keeping him from the team he had always dreamed of being. You just couldn’t do that to him. You cared too much.

Oikawa stared at you with confusion filled in his eyes for a moment before grabbing you up in his arms and hugging you tightly around your waist. “This isn’t—”

A lump formed in your throat as you hide your face against his neck. “Please don’t say goodbye… it’s not goodbye.”

—

“You WHAT—!”

“He’s going to Argentina…”

“But, what… HAJIME!” Sumiye yelled before turning her attention to her boyfriend and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. His bored expression was unchanging as she shook him in frustration, seemingly used to her outbursts. “He’s your friend!”

Iwaizumi let out an aggravated sigh. “Why is he my friend when he does something stupid?” he asked.

Shaking your head, you forced a smile. “We both agreed it was for the best,” you explained. “He wants to go. I’m not going to be the reason he regrets not taking his chance.”

“But you broke up!” Sumiye nearly screamed.

“Sumi… please lower your voice. People are staring at us,” Iwaizumi said before glancing back at you. “And you’re both okay with that decision?”

“Of course!”

“...but why?” Sumiye interjected. “You two were perfect—”

Your hand shot up to silence your best friend. “We decided if we were supposed to be together,” you said. “We’ll find our way back to each other.”

“In different countries?!”

“Yes.”

“Hajime—!”

“Yes Sumi,” he replied, rubbing his temples. “I hear you…”

“I’m going to text him—”

Iwaizumi snatched the phone from his girlfriend’s hands, holding it over her head, causing her to pout. “No,” He said, his voice going stern. “None of that. We aren’t interfering, Sumi.”

“Asshole! I can’t reach! Give back my phone!”

“You can have this back when you promise to act like an adult.”

“Don’t think I won’t climb you like a tree—!”

You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat as you watched the two. It was a much-needed break from the loneliness you were experiencing after you and Oikawa had ended your relationship. While it had been weeks, no one seemed to notice only because Oikawa spent so much time practicing even when you two were together. It wasn’t until Sumiye noticed you had returned his warm-up jacket and sweatshirts that she had begun to suspect something had changed.

“We graduate soon anyway,” you said mostly to yourself. “He’ll probably forget I even existed…”

“NO!”

Your attention was jerked back to your best friend as she shot a glare in your direction. “Sumi—“

“He could never!”

Iwaizumi sighed before covering her mouth. “If you two thought this was best,” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “Then fine. I won’t push either way…as for mouth here, she needs to respect both decisions on this.”

Sumiye peeled his palm from her mouth. “Mouth?!”

Another smile formed over your lips as you continued to enjoy this outing with your friends, and before you knew it… it was time to head home. You gave Sumiye a tight squeeze before bidding the couple farewell. Pulling out your phone, you sighed, scrolling through your texts. While yes, you and Oikawa had split, you were still texting back and forth constantly. Mutual breakups almost seemed a little more difficult than the more messy ones. You were both on speaking terms, conversing about meetups, and when you could stop by to drop off his clothes he had lent. Needless to say, it was a weird state to be in.

Tears began forming in the corner of your eyes, realizing that tomorrow morning - he would be leaving. His flight to South America was set and despite his family’s plea for you to join them, you had refused. Swallowing hard as you wiped away the tears, you knew deep down you couldn’t stomach the idea of him stepping foot onto that plane. Saying goodbye, wasn’t an option.

The street lights cut on as the sky began to darken as you made your way down the street to your home. It was so bizarre just how much life would be changing for everyone in the coming weeks. Oikawa was leaving for South America, while you, Sumiye, and Iwaizumi planned to stay behind in Japan and attend college.

“...hey, Y/N.”

You stopped in your tracks as you reached your home, finding Oikawa sitting on your front steps. Your eyes fell to the pavement below, wondering just what he was doing here.

“Hey Toru,” you whispered back.

“My sister says she tried texting you,” he continued. “But you didn’t want to come to the airport tomorrow.”

You fell quiet.

“If it’s because of the breakup, my family isn’t-”

“Toru no,” you replied softly. “It’s not because of that.”

“Then what? I want you to see me off…”

The corners of your lips dropped into a frown as the tears began beading in the corner of your eyes again. “I just can’t watch you get on that plane,” you forced out. “Please don’t make me.”

Oikawa’s eyes softened at your distress before taking a step toward you. He tried to reach out and touch your cheek in an attempt to comfort you. “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to go?”

“I do!” you exclaimed, the tears finally slid down your cheeks. “I want you to accomplish all of your dreams Toru! But watching you step foot on that plane tomorrow… it’ll kill me! Don’t you understand?!”

His brown eyes went wide with surprise at your outburst before his hand fell back down to his side. “Do you think this has been easy on me?” he asked, his voice strained. “I’m going to a country where I don’t know a living soul… for volleyball. While you and Sumi and Iwa-chan get to run off to college and enjoy more time together—” He paused briefly, choking back a sniffle. “And to find out you don’t even want to see me off?”

“Because… I know I said I wanted you to go,” you whispered. “But… Toru.”

He quickly took another step toward you before pulling you into him. His arms snaked around your waist as you buried your face against his chest. Your eyes slid shut as you took in the scent of his cologne, trying to imprint it in your memory. A small sniff came from you before you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. His grip tightened around your waist as you began to sob, wishing this wasn’t how it had to be.

“Toru,” you cried out. “I just…”

“Shh,” he whispered, planting a kiss on top of your head. “I know, I know you do…”

“Is it going to hurt forever?” you asked him.

“God, I hope not,” he replied honestly.

You pulled away from him, rubbing the heel of your palm against your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Oikawa tilted his head. “For what?” he asked.

“...this?”

He flashed a lopsided smile. “Oh please,” he said, waving you off. “I’ve seen you in worse states.”

“You know I love you, right?”

His smile grew wider. “And I love you.”

“Just don’t forget okay?”

“Never…”

—

But he had.

You both had.

You found yourself standing at your mailbox on the first floor of your apartment building as you thumbed through your mail. It had been years since that fateful night, and you found as time moved forward, the pain in your chest hurt less and less. You heard from him less and less, and before you knew it. It was strange really as the distance grew… you noticed he had started dating through social media until you were seemingly strangers. It was over.

Sighing, you noticed a pink envelope that seemingly stood out from the rest of the mail. You flipped it around before tearing into the paper, revealing lovely stationery inside, a wedding announcement, and one you had been waiting weeks for.

You beamed as your eyes traced over the intricate lettering as it was finally official: Iwaizumi and Sumiye had formally announced their wedding. While you had known details for months, it seemed even more real to see the announcement physically in your hands. You were thrilled for your two best friends and happily accepted the role of maid of honor for her.

Smiling, you pulled out your cell phone before unlocking the device and tapping on Sumiye’s name to FaceTime with her. You both squealed upon seeing the other before you held up the wedding announcement for Sumiye to see. “It’s gorgeous!” you squealed, happily.

“Oh my god! You got yours already! That was so fast!” your friend cried out happily. “God… I can’t believe how fast this wedding is coming. By the end of the month, I’ll be married. I’m getting nervous.”

“Cold feet?” It was Iwaizumi in the background.

“In your dreams!” Sumiye hissed.

“Have you warned Y/N yet?” he asked.

Confusion filled your eyes. “Warn me about what?”

Sumiye shot a glare toward Iwaizumi over her shoulder before turning her attention back to you. She flashed a nervous smile before letting a sigh. “...So. There’s something I have to tell you and I don’t know how you’re going to feel…”

“...what is it?”

“Hajime’s man of honor…”

“Okay? What does that have to do with—”

“It’s Oikawa. He’s flying up here from Argentina for the wedding. He’s staying for the month.”

You froze at the mere sound of his name. Things hadn’t ended terribly between the two of you but you could understand your friends’ concerns about the sheer awkwardness of your ex-boyfriend.

“It’s fine,” you said quickly. “It’s fine. It’ll be nice to see him.”

“You swear you’re okay with this?”

“Totally!” you added, shaking your head. “It’ll be fine. We just have to walk down the aisle together. No big deal.”

Sumiye smiled at you. “So when are you heading here? We have your room reservation set up.”

“This afternoon,” you explained, thankful the drive to the city was only about an hour away depending on traffic. “Is that okay?”

“Well, that’ll give us time to pick up Shittykawa from the airport. We can meet up with Y/N tomorrow.” Iwaizumi started, rolling his eyes. “The princess can’t be bothered to get a shuttle to the hotel so we’ll have to leave soon.”

“...how are you, two even friends?” Sumiye asked, staring at her fiancé. He merely nodded before exiting out of the video frame. “Just head to the hotel and we can meet up tomorrow.”

Chuckling, you shook your head. “Sumi, I’ll be fine and I’ll stop by your apartment tomorrow okay?” you said. “And we can start all the party plans!”

“Sumi! We need to leave!”

“Sorry,” Sumiye said, sighing. “Hajime’s excited to see Oikawa again so we have to go to the airport now. I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything okay! Bye!”

You waved to your friend before the video chat ended. A sigh left your lips as you adjusted the purse slung over your shoulder. You shut your mailbox, locking it before making your way back to your apartment to grab your suitcases and drop off your mail. You slowly opened the apartment door, tossing the mail onto the kitchen counter before grabbing the handles of your two suitcases before pulling them out and locking the apartment door behind you.

Anxiety began building up in the back of your mind despite your earlier sentiment that you would be fine seeing Oikawa again. It made you feel almost nauseous. Thankfully you two wouldn’t have to spend too much time together and figured that Oikawa would rather stay with Iwaizumi and the other boys for an impromptu reunion. You couldn’t help the smile that broke out over your features as you thought the boys would probably demand a volleyball game against the pro.

You perhaps it will be nice to see everyone again.

You opened the trunk of your car, tossing the two suitcases inside and slamming it shut. Making your way to the driver’s side of the car, you opened the door before sliding into the seat and starting the car. You wondered what Oikawa had been up to since moving to Argentina and playing for the national team. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t watched some of his matches.

“Ugh,” you groaned, gripping the steering wheel as you made your way toward the highway. This was going to such a long drive with your thoughts. “Damn it…”

Your hand moved to turn up the dial to the volume up on the radio, trying to drown out the thoughts of your past relationship bouncing around the walls of your mind. And thankfully, made the hour-long drive tolerable and before you knew it, you had arrived in the city as you parked your car.

Random dings from your phone alerted loudly before you were able to even exit your car. Random texts from the boys from Aobajohsai blowing up your phone in excitement to see you and the others again. Giggling, you quickly typed a reply announcing your arrival before receiving another message from Makki claiming “we know”.

Confused, you stepped out of your car before grabbing your bags from the trunk and heading into the entrance of the hotel. And the message made sense. You were instantly pounced on by members of Aobajohsai and slammed with a million questions about what you had been up to after high school and college.

“Guys guys,” you said, raising your hands in defense. “Settle down I can’t understand anything you’re saying when you all talk at once.”

“You look great!” Makki said grinning.

“Oh boy,” Matsun said, almost smirking at you. “Someone is going to have a heart attack when they get a good look at you.”

“When who does?”

“...Y/N?”

Your body went rigid as you recognized the voice behind you. Swallowing hard, you forced yourself to turn around and come face to face with a ghost from your past. “Toru…” you whispered, noting the almost seemed taller and his muscles even larger. But you couldn’t help but smile when you noticed he still had the same smile from high school… despite the glasses on his face now.

“Hey…” Oikawa said softly. “How are you?”

“O-oh I’ve been great. Busy teaching, and running the girls’ volleyball club now,” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “...since when do you wear glasses?”

Oikawa opened his mouth to reply before being struck in the back of the head. “He doesn’t,” Iwaizumi’s gruff voice said as he appeared behind him. “They’re fake. Don’t let him lie to you.”

“Iwa-channnn~” Oikawa whined as he rubbed the spot he had been struck. “That wasn’t very nice. I just got here!”

You watched as the two, old friends continued to interact and it brought a nostalgic smile to your face. It was so strange how some things never change no matter how much time had passed, but at the same time, you and Oikawa were so different now. He was a professional volleyball player for the national team in Argentina while you had stayed behind and become a teacher at Aobajohsai…

“Y/N?”

Your eyes widened as you heard your name. “Yes?” you said, looking up at Iwaizumi.

“If you’re able to wait an hour,” he said. “I have to run and grab Sumi from her mom’s. They were finishing up food plans for the wedding—”

Shaking your head quickly, you forced another smile on your face. “No no!” you exclaimed, much louder than you had meant to. “I can meet up with you and her tomorrow. I’m really tired from the drive and just want to lay down.”

Iwaizumi offered you a knowing smile. “I’ll tell her to call tonight.”

You nodded before heading to the desk to check-in before grabbing the card key from the desk clerk. A small sigh left your lips as you trudged to the elevator with your bags behind you. You stepped inside before pressing the third floor and resting your back against the elevator wall.

“Hey wait!”

Your eyes shot up to see Oikawa racing toward you. For a split second, you thought about hitting the door close button before putting your foot down against the door to stop it from shutting. Grinning at you, he glanced at the buttons and never pressed - you figured he would be on the same floor.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling. “I wasn’t sure I’d make it.”

Rolling your eyes, you chewed on your lower lip as anxiety began building in the pit of your stomach. “It’s fine. I figured we’d all be on the same floor,” you said, shrugging your shoulders lightly. The elevator dinged, catching both of your attention. The third floor, it read as the door slid open. Oikawa stepped aside, allowing you out first. You flashed him an awkward smile before making your way to your hotel room. You fumbled with the card in your hand as Oikawa came up next to you with a confused expression.

“What?”

He looked at you, then the room number, and then between both car keys. “This is my room.”

“No… they told me 305 is my room.”

“Jesus Christ…” he grumbled before snatching the card key out of your hand and examining it. “This-this can’t be right…”

“What?”

“How the hell did they give us the same room?!”

“What?!”

“They booked us to share a room!”

223 notes · View notes

dalamjisung · 5 years ago

Text

nobody else ❊ mark tuan

word count: 6341

genre: angst, fluffy ending

pairing: reader x mark tuan

description: He saw something in you. You saw that same something in him.

[Trigger Warning: this story has a brief mention of psychological manipulation and psychological abuse.]

“Hey Y/N!”

“Y/N! How was your summer?”

“Looking good, Y/N!”

You laugh, making your way to the coffee shop to meet your friends. Waving and smiling back, you can’t help but remember last semester, when barely five people knew who you were. Safe to say, things are more interesting now. No one really knows what happened over the summer, but you came back renewed; new hair, new clothes, new person. You suddenly started joking more, talking more, laughing more. Some speculate you got a boyfriend, but most boys refuse to believe that. Others say you traveled the world, and even you laughed when you heard that. You wish you had the money to travel the world.

It’s been almost a month now, and you went from nobody to the girl everyone wants to know. Your friends laugh, not giving it much attention, and you let them; it’s not like they need to know, anyways. Hyejin and Byulyi asked for a while, but after so many failed attempts, they just gave up like everybody else. There’s no point in asking if you’re not ready to tell them… so they just let you be.

“Y/N!”

You walk in the shop, relieved to see your girls. The thing about suddenly being known from one day to the next is that people know your name, but they don’t know you; so most of the time you hear someone calling you, it’s because they want something– a favor, your notes, an information. In a month you became the go-to girl for small things like that, and although it is a little tiring, you didn’t really care. People know you exist now. They remember you.

And yet, hearing your name coming from Hyejin’s mouth is like a breath of fresh air– every time.

“How are you, my love?” She hugs you tightly and you feel like you could cry. “You have blue paint in your hair.”

“Oh,” You laugh, tying your hair back in a ponytail, trying to hide the mess you made during class. “I’m good, babes. How are you?”

“Good now that you’re here,” She winks and you sit down next to her.

“Yah, this way I’m going to get jealous,” Wheein complains, moving to sit next to you, too. She drapes one arm around your shoulders and pulls you to her. “You’re my love, too.”

“Ah, it’s okay,” You kiss her cheek. “There’s love for everybody, right here.” You point to your heart, laughing as both of then raise their eyebrows.

“Oh, we know,” Hyejin says. “You’ve been giving it out to everyone now.”

“It was her summer glow-up,” Wheein jokes. “Everyone wants a piece of our Y/N, now. We have to protect her, Hyejin-ah.”

“You guys are crazy,” You say, drinking from Wheein’s coffee. “And that’s why I love you.”

“We love you too–“

“Y/N!”

Your body instantly tenses once you hear the high pitched voice calling out for you. Sighing, you turn around and look for her– Sumi.

“Hey,” You say, trying to use all the excitement in your body. It isn’t much. “How are you doing, Sum–“

“I need a favor.”

“Of course you do,” Wheein scoffs. “When don’t you need a favor?”

“Aish, that’s not true,” Sumi chuckles shamelessly. “Y/N and I are friends, aren’t we?”

Do it. Just do it, Y/N, you think to yourself, nodding at her.

“What’s up?”

“Mark broke up with his girlfriend,” She whispers, as if it is a secret.

You know that already. It was the talk of the campus for about a week when you came back, but then the focus quickly changed to you, and that’s when you met Han Sumi. The stereotype of a ‘school princess,’ she was quick to understand that if she was nice, you’d be nice too, and since then, asking for favors is all she does. You might’ve been quiet before, but every single student knows about Sumi obsession with Mark Tuan; she’s been trying to get with him ever since freshman year and now that he’s available, you’re guessing she’s back on her game.

“No way… really?” You feign surprise. “Hadn’t heard!”

“It’s true!” She squeals in happiness. “Minho told Sunwoo and he told Juyeon who told me! Mark is single again!”

“That’s… something,” You mumble, trying to exclude yourself from this inevitable situation.

“Definitely,” She winks. “So can I count on you?”

“M-me?” You are actually surprised, this time. “I’m sorry Sumi, but I don’t know Mark…”

“Impossible,” She laughs. “You know everyone.”

“Not everyone,” You sigh. “I really never talked to Mark before, Sumi.”

“Hm,” She frowns. “Really?”

“Yeah…”

“But you know Jackson, right?”

You’re doomed.

“Yeah, but–“

“Then ask Jackson to help me!”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Hyejin scowls at her. “Y/N has better things to do then tending to your failed love life.”

“Look who’s talking, I bet you’re only friends with her because you want som–“

“Yah!”

Wheein holds Hyejin by the arms, pulling her back down.

“Sure, I’ll try and talk to Jackson,” You say, quickly trying to make her go away. “I can’t promise anything, though.”

“Ah, I knew I could count on you!” Sumi hugs you. “I’ll see you later then!”

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye,” You chuckle uncomfortably and watch her leave, turning to your raging friend. “Are you insane?!”

“I’m going to kill her,” Hyejin promises, and you shiver, the intensity in her voice getting to you. “I promise you, one day, I’ll drag her by her fake hair and–“

“Okay, okay, we get it,” Wheein rolls her eyes. “You’ll destroy her blah blah blah.”

“NO,” Hyejin shouts, clearly frustrates. “It’s not just ‘blah blah blah.’ This drives me insane! People coming over to ask Y/N for favors and then pointing fingers at us. I’ve known her since middle school and it kills me that I have no clue what the fuck happened this summer. It kills me to have to watch you let yourself be used like this.”

“Hyejin-ah–“

“I’ll see you guys later.”

She marches out the door before you can say anything, and you understand why– it must be really frustrating to be kept in the dark by your best friend. She is upset, you know that much; but telling her everything would only upset her further, and you don’t see a need for that.

Ever since you guys started hanging out Wheein and Hyejin were the extroverted, confident ones. They always protected you from anyone with ill-intentions. It’s not that they think you’re weak, but they rather protect you then watch you suffer.

Ah, you think to yourself, allowing your head to fall on your hands in defeat. You can’t protect me from this, Hyejin-ah…

“It’s alright,” Wheein pats your back affectionately. “You know how protective she is. She’ll call in an hour or two and everything will be okay.”

“Will it be okay, though?” You whisper to yourself. “I’m not sure it will…”

“Hey, don’t say that; Hyejin loves you more than anything in the world.”

“And I love her,” You mumble, sensing the guilty feeling crawling back through your body. “I will be okay. I have to.”

“Wha–“

“I gotta go, Wheein-ah,” You smile widely, and the suddenness of it all leaves your friend startled. “Love you!”

Grabbing your bag, you run out the door, to the only place you think he could be.

“Jackson Wang,” You mumble to yourself. “You’re the only one that can help me now.”

———————————

Just as you thought, there he is. Star athlete Jackson Wang could always, at all times, be found at the basketball court. Your relationship with him, weirdly enough, began before this summer. He found you crying your eyes out at the benches and approached you to make sure you were alright. After talking for a while, he took you to a nearby dinner and bought a milkshake in exchange for knowing what happened; so you told him. It had been a rough day and things at home weren’t the best, so you decided to cry it out somewhere no one you know would find you. In the end, you walked out of there with a lighter conscious and a new friend.

“Yah, Seun-ah!”

All heads turn to you, but you’ve learned how to not flinch anymore. You’re okay with people looking at you. Actually, you prefer it that way.

“Y/N!”

His baby giggle reaches your ears and you can’t help but laugh with him, basking in his glee. You’ve never seen someone so uplifting as Jackson; he could make you feel a thousand times better by just smiling at you.

“What are you doing here?” He asks as he hugs you tightly.

“Missed you,” You pout, laying your head in his sweaty chest. A lot of people speculated about you two, not really knowing where to categorize you– friend or girlfriend. Truth is, you’re more like family.

“Liar,” He teases and pulls back, holding your shoulders. His eyes find yours and you know you’re doomed, you can’t ever hide anything from him. “Hyejin called me.”

You sigh. “It’s not as bad as she makes it sound…”

“Yeah, it’s worse,” Jackson scoffs. “Dealing with Sumi is exhausting, but you do it, regardless. None of us knows why, and you won’t tell us, so don’t get mad once we get worried.”

“I’m not mad, just frustrated,” You explain. “Sumi asked me to talk to you about Mark. Didn’t he break up with his girlfriend like… four months ago?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think we should about this here,” He laughs a bit uncomfortable with the situation.

“It’s fine, I’ll just come up with an excuse for her,” You shrug. “I don’t know your friend, but from the little you told me, it sounds like it was bad.”

“Ye–

“It was.”

You look behind you at a sweaty boy in a purple sleeveless shirt. His curly dark hair is falling on top of his eyes, but you are familiar with the pain hidden behind it– abandonment. You just nod at him, a form of recognition, and he nods back.

“You’re Y/N,” He says, not really sounding like a question, but more like a guess. “Jackson talks a lot about you.”

“That’s me,” You smile sheepishly. “And you’re Mark.”

“The one and only,” He chuckles, offering you his hand to shake.

“Heard a lot about you,” You wiggle your brows in a shameless way that would have never crossed your mind, a few months ago.

“Oh, Jackson,” Mark teases. “Didn’t know you love me that much.”

“She means Sumi.”

Mark goes from happy to sour in a second. “She’s still insisting on that?”

“You know?!” You gasp.

“Of course I know,” He sighs, looking more tired now then when he was playing basketball with Jackson. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

“Yeah…” At this point, you are clearly uncomfortable, not really sure about how to proceed; should you call Sumi and tell her that she should abort the mission? Should you just drop this issue? “I’m sorry she keeps bothering you. I’ll tell her you’re not interested, and I hope she leaves you alone, then.”

“Thank you, but this is not your problem to fix,” He smiles and for a second, you are speechless. It is almost as if Mark instantly took a weight off of your shoulders, and you feel lighter than you have in weeks. “I’ll talk to her myself.”

“Are you sure?” You ask, giving him an opportunity to change his mind… and to be honest, you are kind of hoping he would; then, he’d be just like everybody else, always asking.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

What do you do when someone is finally giving, though?

———————————

“You!”

You turn around just to see an angry Sumi marching towards you.

“What did you tell Mark?!”

“Mark talked to me today,” Sumi says and her smile suggests anything but happiness. “Told me you talked to him.”

“And?”

“And he also told me, and I quote,” She scoffs. “‘You and I will never happen;’ so fess up, what did you tell him?”

You gulp. You can’t believe Mark did that, even though it now comes to your mind that you don’t know Mark at all.

I thought he was different, you think to yourself, frowning. Could this be why he didn’t let me talk to Sumi? To blame me?

“I didn’t say anything, Sumi,” You feel awkward, the kind of awkward one feels when they are telling the truth that no one will believe. “Mark is still feeling pretty down because of his–“

“I was the first one to start talking to you after your… makeover,” She seethes, whispering into your ear. “You were nobody. You could disappear and no one would notice– until I put you on the map. My mistake, for trusting someone like you, I guess. But hear me, Y/N, once people know you, they don’t forget anything about you.”

“Sumi–“

“See you late,” She fake smiles and leaves.

Not sure about how long you stand there, only when Wheein finds you that you collapse, legs faltering and eventually giving up on you. It’s been months since you felt it– the rush in your blood, the lack of air on your lungs, the buzzing in your ears; almost two months, to be exact, ever since the new semester started. The new you.

“Y/N!” She shouts, kneeling next to you. “Are you okay?”

“C-call Jack– Call Jackson,” You beg, in between deep breaths. “I can’t bre– Wheein, I can’t breath, I can’t breath, I can’t– Jackson… Jackson can help.”

“Okay,” She quickly dials your friends number. “Jacks! It’s Wheein… Where are you? Y/N’s having a breakdown, I’m not sure what’s happening, but I think it’s an anxiety attack. We’re by the fountain, near the Music department. Yeah. Okay. Alright. See ya.”

You look at her, tears in your eyes. Don’t give in, you think, watching your friend panic. For Wheein, keep it together. Wiggle your fingers. Count to 100. Wiggle your fingers. Count to 100. Wiggl-

“Hey,” A voice, not quite like Jackson’s, comes from behind you. “What’s up? Mind if I join?”

“Mark?” Wheein mutters, frowning as he kneels besides her, tight lip smile on his face. His eyes find yours and his smile widens a bit, shoulders relaxing.

“Hey, I love your shirt,” He points to you. “Keith Haring, right?”

You just nod, still breathing fast and shallowly.

“Did you know he used to paint the subways of New York?” You nod once again. “You did? Cool! What painting is your favorite?”

“W-what?”

“Come on,” He jokes, still smiling, still staring. “You’re an Art major! You must have a favorite! Tell me about it.”

“Re-Rebel With Many C-Causes,” You stammer out.

“Which one is that?” Mark asks, moving to settle down in front of you. He crosses his legs, knees touching yours, as he leans forward on his elbows. “I don’t remember…”

“The one with his own interpretation of hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil,” You mutter, blinking hard. Your heart seems to be slowing down, and air finds a gap through your throat and into your lungs. You’re gonna be okay.

“Ah!” He snaps his fingers, eyes wide and shinning with clear excitement in his face. “I remember that one! How could I forget– stupid me.”

“You’re not stupid,” You say, more out of habit then anything, but you can’t help but mean it. “Mark–“

“Y/N!” That’s Jackson. “Are you alright? Is everything okay? What happened?”

It’s almost as if hearing your friend’s voice summons you back to reality, and you look at Wheein, with her fearful eyes, and at Jackson, with his worried frown, and you look for Mark, with his excited smile, but he’s gone. In the midst of all the commotion, he left, and you didn’t even thank him.

———————————

It’s been a week since your panic attack, and weirdly enough, you started seeing Mark more and more. You’d see him with Jackson when he came over the Arts building, and you’d see him in the coffee shop whenever you hang out with Hyejin. He is at the cafeteria, at the hallway, at the bars; and you begin to wonder if he’s always been there and you just never noticed… sounds impossible, but extremely likely.

“What you thinking about?” Hyejin asks, poking you and making you squirm as you sip on your coffee. You two had been studying for the upcoming midterms and safe to say you are calmer, happy to be able to focus on something else besides Sumi’s threat.

“Mark.”

“What?!” She shouts, looking at you as if you are crazy. “Mark Tuan? Jackson’s friend? The guy that made Sumi go bitch crazy at you?”

“I’m not sure he did it on purpose,” You shrug. “He helped me, too, you know?” “Yeah, I know,” She rolls her eyes. “I’m still salty you called Jackson and not me.”

“He just knows what to do,” You chuckle.

“And apparently Mark knows too,” Hyejin wonders. “How, though? And why?”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking about,” You sigh. “I’m confused and–“

“Hey Y/N,” Before you can finish, Taehyung, a senior in Hyejin’s department, stops next to your table. “How are you holding up?”

“Me?” You ask. “I’m good, why?”

“I heard about your anxiety attack the other day,” He whispers, eyes exuding pity. “I’m sorry about what you’re going through, but things will get better! You have great friends to support you, so don’t give up, yeah?”

“What are you talking about, sunbea?” Hyejin asks, carefully looking at you. “How do you know about Y/N?”

“Sumi told me.”

You freeze.

“What exactly did Sumi say?” Hyejin is up, hands on both Taehyung’s shoulders.

“She said things weren’t too good for Y/N, right now… you know, at home,” He clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “And that’s why she changed so much. Sumi said she’s worried about you, Y/N, and that she’s trying to show you as much support as she can.”

“I’m going to kill a bitch,” Hyejin screams, grabbing her purse, and then turning to you. “Come on, love. We’re doing this. She can’t spread rumors about you like that, this is unacceptable! I’ll do the talking, you just stand next to me and–“

You grab her wrist tightly and hope that she won’t feel your shaking hands. “Thanks, Taehyung.” And you smile, the smile you practiced for so long in front of your mirror, for your friends, your teachers, yourself.

“No problem,” He smiles his boxy smile and you just can’t find it within yourself to be angry. “Let me know if you need anything! We’re all here for you.”

“Will do,” You say and pull a fuming Hyejin back to the couch you are sitting, holding her down until he’s far enough for you to breath out. You can feel a headache coming, and you rest your head on your hands. I guess there’s no escaping, now…

“What the fuck, Y/N?!” Hyejin mutter angrily. “Enough is enough! You can’t just let Sumi step all of you like that! She’s gone as far as making up rumors about you!”

“They are not made up,” You turn to your friend, gaging her reaction, and you can just tell it’s not going to be good. “I mean, technically they are made up, since there’s no way she’d know about my life outside this campus, but goddammit, she nailed it.”

“… what?” Hyejin whispers, eyes wide.

Sighing, you pack your backpack and get up. “Don’t worry too much, Hyejin-ah… I’ll be okay. I’m here now.”

Leaving her after spatting out news like that is not the best thing to do and you know, but you didn’t feel like explaining everything right there and then, especially considering that you’d have to retell that story to at least four different people. Once people know you, they don’t forget anything about you. Sumi’s voice echoes in your head, and you walk faster, with no destination in mind but wherever your body takes you. They don’t forget anything. They had to, though. They’d have to forget this. You are not sure you can survive if people know, if they remind you just how bad it is. You don’t want pity stares or careful smiles; you don’t want fake friends and meaningless support. You just want people to know your name. You just want them to remember you exist, because you are terrified that any day you could just disappear– and if that happens, you want someone to notice.

Telling your friends would be the easiest and wisest choice– you know. But there are emotional consequences that come with saying what you need to say that makes you extremely uncomfortable. This is not on them, so why should they suffer for it? Without noticing, you end up in you favorite place in that school: the basketball court. It is like your body knew you needed to let it out and brought you here.

“Shit,” You whisper, dropping all of your weight down and onto the floor in the middle of the court. It’s a beautiful night, if not for the traumatic news. The stars are out and the chill air makes it so that you can feel goosebumps on your skin. “Fucking hell. Shit shit shit shit.”

“Well, and here I was thinking today had been a pretty good day,” He sits next to you. “What happened?”

“You don’t want to know, Mark,” You sigh, looking at his shoes as he looms over you.

“If I asked,” He grunts as he sits down next to you, giving an odd deja-vu sensation. “It’s because I care.”

Care, you look at him with wide eyes. Not because he wants to know, or because he’s curious; but because he cares.

“It’s nothing,” You say, the lie feeling heavy and poisonous. “Don’t worry.”

“You might think you fool your friends, and they might pretend to be fooled, but you can’t really fool me, Y/N.”

“Drop it, Mark,” You lean on your elbows, eyes piercing though his and you see the challenge in his face.

“Why should I?” He scoffs while moving closer to you.

“Because I’m asking?”

“So?” His smile fakes innocence. “I don’t have to do something just because you want it. Believe it on not, this is for your own good.”

“You wouldn’t know what’s for my own good, Tuan,” You spit out, anger boiling in your blood. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through!”

“So tell me!” He says a bit more forcefully. “What have you been through?”

“A lot!” You blow up. You know there is no turning back and you don’t even want to go back; this is finally happening and nothing could stop you know. “I’ve been through hell and back this summer, Mark, and you wouldn’t even begin to understand it!”

“Oh yeah?!” There it is again– the challenge. “Try me.”

You are not sure exactly when you two got on your feet, standing mere inches away from each other, shouting at each other’s face. His forehead is almost touching yours and his chest is puffed forward, ready for what he knows is about to come. One hit; closed fist and not a lot of strength behind it. A try out, you could say. Then another one, once you realize it actually feels good and somewhat cathartic. And another. And another, and another, each stronger than the one before.

“Do you even know what is like to live in fear?” You shout, hitting his chest. He just stands there, taking it– taking it all. “What is like to realize that the person you looked up to, and loved, and cherished, and protected, turns out to be someone completely different? He’d threaten me, tell me horrible things, call me horrible names… and it all made sense! In my head he isn’t wrong but it’s not right– this is not right! He can’t do that; not after everything we’ve been through!”

The fact that you can’t breath is the first indication that you are crying, sobbing, into Mark Tuan’s chest. You scream and shout and punch, but he just stands there, hands around your shoulders, hit by hit, bringing you closer until you are flushed against him. Your voice is muffled once he presses you even closer, nestling your head on his neck; it takes you a while to process but for the first time in months you feel truly and undeniably safe. You feel protected, feeling the pressure of his arms around you and hearing the calming hushed assurances in your ear.

“It’s okay,” He whispers as his hand caresses your hair. Your hands stopped moving a while ago, choosing to clutch to his hoodie instead. Don’t let go, they seem to say. Never let me go. “It’s okay– you’re here now. You’re present. You’re safe. Do you understand what I’m saying, Y/N? Can you repeat it for me?”

You nod, not raising your head still.

“Come on,” He whispers again, and the feeling of his lips brushing against your ear is enough to make your breathing hitch. “You’re here.”

“I-I’m here,” You murmur.

“You’re present.”

“I’m pre– I’m present.”

“And you’re safe.”

The sheer strength of the words make you pull away slowly, looking for his eyes, for confirmation. And you see it.

“I’m safe.”

The kiss comes seconds after your voice fades, something within pushing you forward to meet him halfway. As his lips move, as firm as his words, you can hear him– you’re safe.

And as his hands pull you closer and closer and closer you hear him again– you’re safe with me.

———————————

“We need to talk.”

It comes from you and it surprises everyone.

“Yeah, of course,” Jackson frowns, scooting closer as Hyejin and Wheein sit down around you, too. “What’s up?”

“I’m ready,” You bite your lip, forcing yourself to say the words you’d trained all the way there. “If you guys want to know, I’m ready to tell you.”

“What are you talking about?” Wheein asks grabbing your hand.

“This summer,” You gulp, not being able to look them in the eyes. “My parents divorced. It was ugly– dad cheated, mom found out, and they split. Dad disappeared for a couple of months and I’m not sure if it was that or the fact that mom got a boyfriend, but my brother started acting… weird. He’d be gone for days and come back smelling of alcohol and weed, and at first I thought it was fine, you know? That it wouldn’t last, so I didn’t do anything… but it started to escalate and things started to get a bit out of hand. He’d have terrible fights with our mother, borderline violent, and he’d– he’d point his finger and come really, really close, like he was going to do something. I pulled him away a couple of times but after a while that didn’t seem to be enough either and I was scared, so, so scared, because the man that I always looked up to, the one that I idolized, my big brother, started acting like, like my dad. Explosive. Angry. Impulsive. We’d have terrible fights, once I started bringing this up, and after a while I guess I just didn’t know how to deal anymore, I just didn’t, I’m sorry guys, I–“

“Hey, it’s alright,” Wheein pulls you for a hug. “You’re okay. We got you.”

“The things he said,” You whisper, shutting your eyes tight, almost as if you opened them you’d see him again. “He said he’d kill me. That if I died and disappeared no one would know; no one would notice. He said I should go back to college and then told me to stay home. He’d change his mind in a second, and I started being more careful; talking less, spending more time outside the house, making sure to never be alone in the house with him. I guess I panic… maybe went into survival mode, but I believed him. I fully believed that if I disappeared no one would know, and when that became and actual fear I made sure that things would be different. Everyone would know my name. So I started being nicer– stupider, if you will. Doing small favors here and there as a way to please people, I guess? I know it sounds ridiculous but it made sense at the time, it really did… If people like you, they look for you. They talk about you. They know your name. That’s all I wanted, really. To have that security net, at least.”

The silence that follows the next moment is deadly; it feels suffocating, and you almost regret your decision. But then Hyejin speaks.

“We’d notice.”

You look at her face– not angry, no; she looks determinate. Sure of herself.

“We always notice,” She continues, tightening her hand on yours. “You change your hair, you try a new style, you don’t sleep well– we’ll always notice those little things, Y/N… because we love you. You are our best friend. You notice when we’re in a bad mood, or when we are happy, or sad, or anxious; you always know. So trust us, now. Believe what we say. We will always notice.”

“Hyejin-ah,” You sob, and you’ve done– you’ve finally done it. Being able to breath feels different; the compressing sensation on your chest gone. “Thank you. Thank all of you.”

“We are here for you, love,” Jackson says, joining what turns to be a group hug. “Whenever you feel unsafe, insecure, scared, anxious, happy, tired; we are here, so come to us, okay?”

You nod. “I promise.”

“Also,” He smiles and pulls away. “You’re always welcome at the Wang residence.”

“Mine too!” Wheein smiles.

“I don’t even have to say anything,” Hyejin laughs. “We all know my mom loves you more than me.”

“Well,” You sniff, smiling wide. “I am quite lovable.”

“And pretty unforgettable,” Jackson adds, wiggling his brows at you. “I know of a certain someone that hasn’t stopped talking about you ever since you met.”

You blush.

“Shut up, Jackson,” You jokingly push him away.

“Oh, I’m totally serious,” He says winking. “It started getting annoying so I just gave him your number.”

“Who are you talking about?” The girls ask at the same time.

“Mark Tuan, who else?” Jackson laughs as you try to slap his shoulder. “They kissed.”

“What?!” They shout again.

“Yah!” You scream, grabbing your bag and running after him. “I was going to tell them!”

“Liar!” He shouts back, still running. “He told me as soon as he got home last night!”

“Wait!” He stops. “He told you?”

His smile falters.

“What exactly did he tell you, Jackson?”

“He told me you were crying at the court,” Jackson sighs, knowing he made a mistake. “Didn’t tell me why, or what happened, I swear. But he told me he comforted you and things just kind of escalated and, you know, you two ended up kissing.”

You let out a relieved breath.

“So he didn’t tell you anything I told him?” You whisper more to yourself than anyone else, but he hears you and shakes his head. “Mark would never,” Your friend says. “Not after all that happened to him.”

“What happened to him?” You ask, more on impulse than anything.

“He didn’t tell me a thing about you, Y/N,” Jackson chuckles. “So if you want to know about him, why don’t you just ask?”

If I asked it’s because I care.

I care too, you say to yourself, waving your friends goodbye and running towards the basketball court. I care about you, too, Mark.

———————————

He’s not there when you arrive, but you wait. And wait. And wait a bit more and then text Jackson your whereabouts, knowing he’d relay the message.

“What are you doing here?” Mark asks as soon as he spots you laying down on the floor, hand slightly swinging from side to side as you draw the stars with your fingers.

“Looking for you,” You say without even looking at him, too concentrated. “Needed to talk.”

He chuckles a kind of chuckle that makes you smile in embarrassment from how easily you blush.

“Alright then,” He lays down next to you, immediately putting his arm under your head. “Let’s talk.”

“You said that if you ask, it’s because you care,” You say. “Before… last night.”

“Yeah, I did,” His voice is soft and you feel a puff of breath on your cheek. You turn your head and there he is, looking right at you, close, too close.

“I care too,” You whisper, moving to turn your whole body onto your side, choosing to face him despite the uncomfortable position on the hard ground. “So that’s why I’m asking… what happened to you, Mark?”

“What do you mean?” His hand is careful when touching your face, pushing a few strands of hair back behind your ear.

“You recognized something in me that night,” You say, frowning a bit as you try to be as clear as possible. “A specific type of hurt. So you asked. You pushed. But I recognize it, too, Mark; I see it on you the same way you saw it on me. Now I’m asking, because I’m worried. I might not know you for a long time, but I know you. You allowed me that… I’m sorry if asking is too much, but allow me a bit more. I want to be here for you the way you were there for me and–“

He shuts you up with his mouth, and thank god he did. His arms fold around you once more and there it is; that feeling– I’m safe. He’s safe. We’re safe. One hand goes to your neck and the other reaches out for your waist, making sure to keep you close. There is something new to the kiss, though; something deeper. It is languid, and powerful, and overwhelming, and you barely remember what happened before then. Only when he pulls away, smile on his face, canines showing in the dim night, that you remember. This is for him.

“I think I love you,” He says, and your heart skips a beat. “I know it’s been like, a few weeks since we met but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Might as well have, with how much Jackson talks about you, his passionate, beautiful, amazing, kind best friend.”

“Mark–“

“My ex,” He starts, and although he’s still smiling, the hurt is palpable. His body tenses up and your fingers move almost immediately, working on the knots on his neck and shoulders. “Was very controlling. Things were fine in the beginning because it’s young love, you know? They are supposed to be fine in the beginning, but they are not supposed to go so bad after…”

“What happened?”

“She used to make me feel worthless,” You heart shatters as he speaks. “Used to tell me I never did things right and that I was lucky to be with her. Sometimes she’d go as far as to say someone like her could never love someone like me, and the implications behind that did the rest. She’d scream if I went out with my friends, and cry if I tried to argue back… I used to feel like a piece of shit every single day– that lasted five months.”

You shuffle and your arms go around his head, cradling him to your chest, covering as much of him as you can– you wanted to make him feel protected.

“Then Jackson found me,” He continues, nosing your collarbone. “I was drunk and crying and everything was too loud, so he took me to his place, turned off my phone and sobered me up. The next day he didn’t let me go back to her place; he said we needed to talk. We talked for about three hours… and when I finally turned on my phone again and saw her messages and the things she was saying, it was like something finally clicked. I called her and broke up with her instantly. Never regretted ever since; but I’ve been recovering. A toxic relationship takes a toll on you, so I just needed time to come back to myself, be with my friends, get my life back. I thought it would take longer, but then I met you. I heard you talking to Jackson about Sumi and without him even saying anything, without even knowing me, you put my feelings first. It’s been a while since anyone’s done that and then your anxiety attack happened, and then last night, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I couldn’t stop, either,” You whisper onto his hair. “Thinking about you.”

“I’m happy,” He sighs. “It’s been a long time, but I recognize it. Happiness.”

“I’m happy, too,” You pull away to look into his eyes and give him a light kiss. “And I’m healing, too. So I understand if you need time or space or–

“I don’t need time,” He says. “Or space. I just need support. Knowing that you’ll be walking next to me is all I need…”

“Then I’ll be right next to you,” You mumble, closing your eyes. “So whenever you need me, just call my name.”

You two end up falling asleep and waking up only the next morning, with Jackson and Jaebeom shouting and taking pictures. Your shoulder is stiff and you are pretty sure Mark can’t feel his arm, but you’ve never felt better.

It might’ve taken you a while but you’ve finally realized; the people around you– Hyejin, Wheein, Jackson, and now Mark,– they’d never forget you. They need you as much as you need them. They love you as much as you love them. They’d always call your name.

You don’t need nobody else for that. You have them.

-------------------------------------------------

hello lovelies! I am back! I am so sorry about disappearing like that, but things have been a bit complicated on my side of the computer... Everything is okay now, so I’m back to writing! As always, I hope you like this and please let me know what you think! Comment, like, share– it makes a writer’s day <3 love you all!

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idealnreal · 5 years ago

Note

Please overanalyze the shadows in his palace I am begging you.

@appleyjuiceboy / jester owns my braincells of course i would do this for u

Okay so i think its best if i go about the order of shadows we meet in the game so. I’m not going to go into the persona/shadows in maruki’s palace. I’ll leave that for some other day. Now! Lets hope i can remain fully coherent.

1) The fluffy haired noodle shadow we meet for (ka)sumi’s awakening

First off, look at the design of this shadow--it has the fluffy hair parted to the right like maruki, its androgynous figure, and that swirly face mask as well! The mask has two eyes, and it even looks like theres a smile there, lopsided.

We have never seen any other palace shadow taking a similar shape as the palace ruler (except maybe the yaldaboath palace). Shadows are meant to emulate what the ruler thinks of as protectors of their heart. Maruki doesn’t trust anyone other than himself with this secret. And particularly at this phase of his distortion -- there are no scientists, to attendants, no patients. Just an empty, beautiful palace -- with possibly only one type of shadow and protector. The type that represents himself.

(Also androgynous/nb maruki confirmed ?? yes)

Okay then lets look at what this shadow says to Kasumi.

Shadow: ... Heresy. You dare to spurn our lord’s mercy. Accept yourself... Our lord laments the foolishness birthed from your pain.

Having the context that Kasumi is Sumire here ... Because this scene comes about because Kasumi sees a cognitive version of herself (Sumire) blaming herself -- and so, a part of her is probably trying to remember that she is Sumire. Thus ‘spurn(ing) our lord’s mercy’. And yeah accepting herself as Kasumi instead of trying to remember that she is Sumire.

But most important is the fact that Maruki’s palace shadows refer to him as a religious or god-like being (’our lord’s mercy’ calling back christian themes). Someone who is merciful and, most of all, does feel grief over one’s pain. Painting an ideal picture of a loving and caring god, ala abrahamic religions. This is a running theme with all the shadow’s dialogs. Let’s put a pin in this for now.

These design shadows are seen again later in the container room of the palace. They’re slightly faster. The container room is a strange one -- because it doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the laboratory/hospital/garden of eden thing going on. While yes labs and hospitals do have storage areas, i cant imagine them being a container warehouse like this. I do headcanon that this is a storage area for the pain and suffering that Maruki has taken on from other people in order to heal them, due to his hyper empathy -- but i’ll analyse the room some other time. For now it’s interesting that the Maruki-like shadows are now relegated to this specific and really dark section of the palace.

Like the throne room/centre of eden that the Maruki boss fight takes place in -- He resigns himself to the darker gloomier parts of his palace. And the same goes for these shadows. This is where he belongs.

Also abso-fucking-lutely we’re going to talk about how this shadow transforms when it ambushes you:

Skin suit opening up to reveal fangs and rows of teeth, and a formless monster inside. Maruki ... dude ... are you okay? If these shadows are meant to emulate him -- is this how he sees himself sometimes? HHh boy...

2) First lab coat wearing shadow at the start of his palace investigation

Prior to this, while we understood that Maruki was a researcher, it was never a defining feature of him. Like the first thing that came to my mind on Maruki was that he was just the school counsellor and snack purveyor. Now this entire researcher, scientist, side of him is in full display. And this is the most common type of shadow we see, some which are violent, and others are non violent. Maruki sees scientists as the main residents of his palace -- his drive towards investigation and discovery, to puzzling out the intricacies of the human heart, human mind, and human pain. To better further his ability to heal. But there’s also a sort of cold, methodical nature to these scientists. Their ‘healing’ is methodical, based in science.

This coupled with the religious reverence and ideology that their dialog suggests, is a nice contrast. Experiments, data, research, are people’s salvation. Not the simple belief of a deity or of a higher purpose -- but science. Science, in many ways, becomes part and parcel of their religious belief.

Shadow: Those guises ... You aren’t among those who desire salvation. Leave. You are unwanted intruders. Do not disturb our lord’s research-- this world’s salvation. Why do you willingly strive for self-suffering? Why are you reaching out to your own pain?

So here -- the shadow wants them to leave the palace well enough alone. To leave Maruki to his research, and to allow this reality to exist. They don’t want this to end violently and it seems like they’re okay with the trio not ‘desiring salvation’. And when the trio refuse to leave, the shadow asks them why they want to suffer. It’s something inconceivable to them. Maybe even challenging their resolve-- to reconsider their current path, which will only lead to more pain. Also ‘salvation’, ding, on the christian theme counter. Deliverance from above from sin, even redemption. Not for one person, but for the whole world.

We see this type of shadow again before the scene in the auditorium.

Shadow: You are misguided. Do not search for pain. Only tragedy awaits you beyond here. [After defeating it] Such a fool, rejecting our lord’s mercy. In that case -- witness it for yourself.

Same themes. Delicious. Lets move on now shall we.

3) Hastur -- the shadow that appears with Maruki at his reveal as his second-in-command / bodyguard

I don’t think i’ve talked about how much i love the lopsided smiles on these masks. Because i love it. it’s just the right amount of unsettling and creepy. fUCk. And the twitching, twisting, and the weeping blue paint that Hastur’s shadow form does before transforming is /chefs kiss. I wanted more.

Anyway, onto Hastur’s design. Not a labcoat this time, just an ordinary looking white suit with no tie. This is the only time we see Maruki have a bodyguard shadow -- something else he relies on. Hastur’s presence in this scene only shows how deeply afraid and uncomfortable Maruki actually is with intruders in his palace. This experience is a reminder that someone had come into Rumi’s parents house to kill him years ago (a theory for another time). Like that incident years ago, he doesn’t resort to violence here -- he did and does try to negotiate. But when that didn’t work, at least now he has something that can fight for him.

( It is only in the second infiltration when we see Maruki actually take a more active role -- but I won’t get to that here. )

Hastur: Stubborn imbeciles, rejecting our lord ...

There is a running theme here, unfortunately. The shadows again cannot comprehend why anyone would choose to reject Maruki’s salvation, why anyone would choose suffering. And words like ‘foolish’ ‘misguided’ and finally ‘imbeciles’ here are all used to describe those who choose to reject it. While i do think Maruki only bends reality if the person wishes it (subconsciously or consciously), and does accept that there are people who won’t accept their wishes being granted and is aware of the reasons why-- He cannot fully understand or emphatise with it.

4) These deformed Maruki-like shadows guarding the control room

Jesus christ above, i don’t like these, because they contrast with all other designs as these are more brutish and deformed. There’s used as gatekeepers at certain points of the palace, in the first control room, and later on in the brain-pod-room (my brain cells are stopping to work now excuse me) before the garden puzzle portion, at his final will seed and the entrance to the garden of eden.

We know Maruki isn’t a brute strength kinda person. And yet we see these few who’s only purpose is to defend certain things and areas with force. Its uncharacteristic, but at the same time, given the things that these shadows are defending -- it makes sense. No cunning, no wit, no negotiation, no compassion -- just forcefully defending very important parts of his heart and his work.

Shadow (at the control room): So you dare defy His Excellency. You shall not interfere with our master’s work!

Shadow (brainwash room): Foolish rebels! You won’t take one step past here!

Shadow (entrance to garden of eden) : You?! I can’t believe you’ve made it so far ...

I had to do a double take on this. I think this is the only time this title ‘His Excellency’ has been used in the palace. While it is used for catholic bishops and that sort -- its mostly used in the context of heads of state, ambassadors-- more secular roles. The other times this shadow speaks is also similarly less reverent, less religious orientated. Of course this makes sense if the only function of these shadows is to use force to defend. They’re not the scientists or the first maruki-imitation shadows -- they’re not as devoted, and they dont have to be.

5) Finally, these limbless noodles

This one is found during the horticulture portion of the palace. I can’t exactly figure out why. And as far as i can tell, they only appear in this portion of the palace.

As far as the design goes -- these are probably the most unhuman like. Slender, androgynous with only a mask. I’ve got nothing. Braincells ran out. Sorry!

(Haha androgynous maruki go brr)

SO! That’s it. thanks for coming to my ted talk and following me down this rabbit hole. I need to go and drink some fuckin tea.

#(( jester being a real bro here #(( enabling me and my insanity #f: notes #c: the self #takuto maruki #(( slides this into the main tag #appleyjuiceboy #p5r spoilers

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sodomygf · 4 years ago

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got tagged by @degenerate-perturbation to talk about Women and i was like man. i never remember shit off the top of my head. then i wrote down some women on a sticky note and managed to sort it all out. not really a list of my top ten favorites as much as a list of Girls I Enjoy. Women I Appreciate.

1. Sera - Dragon Age. sera my beloved. she’s my absolute favorite dragon age character and the fact that a fringe group of weirdos are so insistent upon hating her only makes me love her more. she’s adorable and i think about her constantly. singlehandedly makes inquisition my favorite game. i’m down that bad.

2. Meg - Hades. HOT. i liked meg from the moment i saw her and i will fully admit that a huge part of it is me finding her attractive. i also just really like her and zagreus’s dynamic. i like these two exes feeling out their relationship after one comes to grow into himself as a person.

3. Sumi & Chizuru - Rent-a-Girlfriend. since these two are from the same trashy anime i figured i’d just slap them down here together. on a personal level, i really like sumi because her design and personality are soooo cute. and she’s super sweet. on a meta level i like chizuru because she really is the only option for that simp boy we’re all meant to project on. she’s literally the perfect girl. i adore her.

4. Risa Koizumi - Lovely Complex. mostly on here because lovely complex is my comfort show. risa is peak dumbass representation and i like her so much. i think about her and otani all the time. also i just like that lovely complex is an anime that frames risa as more of a pursuer than a passive figure in her love story. it’s nice.

5. Haru - Beastars. this rabbit FUCKS and there’s nothing you can do about it. i think haru being like, canonically promiscuous and into that because of the power it gives her as a #short queen made me experience some sort of Gender. and also just surprised me because i figured it would be a bev marsh situation (another Woman i like who did not happen to make the list) but it wasn’t! what a legend. i have a whole playlist about her, actually.

6. Sabran & Ead - Priory of the Orange Tree. love this book. these lesbians made me so insane. the tenderness of That One Scene that lives in my head rent free... man.

7. Kazusa - O Maidens in Your Savage Season. all the girls in the series are good but i personally projected onto kazusa. i also projected on hongo, but in a sort of negative way. when women have self image issues my brain is like wow.... relateable.

8. Eleanor Shellstrop - The Good Place. i’ve been meaning to rewatch the good place forever because i just really love the whole show. eleanor is one of those characters who really charms me with humor and her growth as a person makes me kind of emotional. and since i’m talking about her i guess it’s pertinent to say. i really really love chidi, so she probably would’ve gotten the spot due to chidi proximity regardless.

9. Maru - Stardew Valley. this science girl is so underrated. we’ve been married for 2 years and have 2 children on my main save, and i thank yoba for this every day. she’s so sweet and smart and charming.

10. Entrapta - She Ra. i like women who are smarter than me. entrapta is my favorite character in the whole show because of that and her questionable morals. i love a queen who will do anything in the pursuit of knowledge.

11. Violet - Violet Evergarden. bonus because i haven’t really stopped thinking about this sad sad girl since i started watching the show with ed. we’re not at the end yet but honestly it’s got so much in it that i like and violet is part of that. her slowly growing to recognize and understand her own feelings (and suffering) moved me, a curmudgeonly little guy. also i think she is an allegory for jesus christ.

honorable mention.

Daisy Tonner - The Magnus Archives. everyone has to have their fucking hot takes on the cops from the magnus archives and it’s like can you people shut up. saw a long ass post about if it’s moral to write daisy as butch or femme and as a certified black person who does not like cops i wish you people would stop being so performatively woke about this podcast and i hope the fact that it’s officially ended will help you all heal from terminally online disease. also i always pictured her being really hot. i love a morally objectionable fake woman.

talk about women or Else. (there is no else. just if you want to rant about girls i guess) @weredilf, @hyperactiveadhd, @co27, @tazwikia, kathryn if you’re reading this it won’t let me tag you’re blog but you’re also included. begone.

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rogue-jester365 · 4 years ago

Text

His Tears, Her Demons(Castlevania Fanfiction)

Author: Rogue-Jester365 (on my Wattpad account with the same and on my account on Deviantart called DecemberOwl)

Disclaimer: As all of you know, I do not own Adrien "Alucard" Tepes. He belongs to the creators of the Castlevania games and show.

___________________________

Chapter 9: Restrained Confessions

Narration

It was currently dark outside, but no one was asleep. Cristine became paranoid after what happened; which didn't help with her sickness, Alucard had canceled that day's training for Taka and Sumi after what had happened, and Taka and Sumi were discussing an alternative way to handle the two hosts.

___________________________

Cristine remained in her room, wide awake when she was told to sleep. But how could she after today? She was almost raped by the two people she began to enjoy knowing. Her mind was racing with many thoughts: "Why didn't she trust her instincts when they tried to warn her? Why did she trust Sumi and Taka's words for anything?... Why didn't she tell Alucard what had happened when she had the chance?"

Who knows what would have happened if she did. Would he deny? Would he not? It was no doubt that the two guests would deny it.

She wished that she told him at that moment he held her close, so safe and secure. She felt so powerless the moment Taka and Sumi were above her. Vulnerable. Frightened. Speechless. Every emotion anyone would feel if they were in her position at that moment.

Tears rolled from her eyes as she turned to lay on her side. She whimpered from the memory of what had almost happened to her. She tightly gripped the sheets that were currently over her body and curled into a ball, holding her legs against her chest with her free arm.

Cristine shut her eyes again and shivered when she heard the door open, fearing that it would be Taka or Sumi. Slow but somehow light footsteps approached her, causing her to shiver harder. She stopped when she felt a gentle and familiar hand placed on her shoulder. She slightly opened her eyelids and looked up. She was relieved for it to be only Alucard.

He looked down with a soft expression and held a bowl of what appears to be soup." I brought you dinner.", he told her.

" Did-... Did they take part in making it?", she stuttered to ask, referring to the only other two people in the castle.

" Neither of them did, I made this myself.", he answered her. Although he was curious to ask why she would be concerned if the two apprentices were involved, he didn't push it since she was under a lot of stress and sick.

She nods her head slightly in approval then attempts to sit up, she winced in pain as she did. Alucard set the soup aside and assisted her into a sitting position." Thank you, Adrien.", she told him.

He gives her a nod in response.

After seeing she still lacked the strength to move, Alucard had begun to feed her. He had fed her slowly so she wouldn't choke on her food or made a mess of herself. But after only a few bites, she end throwing it up into the bowl. His eyes widened with surprise from what had just happened. She then began coughing up a bit. Alucard set the now tarnished soup aside to lay her down to be more comfortable.

Cristine looked up at him with tired eyes when she stopped finally coughing." I'm sorry... My stomach is just hasn't been feeling right since I became sick.", she explained to him.

" It's alright, it's not your fault.", he told her with his sweetest smile then gently stroking her cheek. Cristine smiled back up at him while weakly lifting her arm to grip the hand that was placed on her cheek.

He removed his hand and sat beside her. His eyes left her direction for a moment as his smile then disappeared. He was looking at the spot he saw Taka earlier when Cristine had her seizure, thinking of what Sumi had told her. When his eyes returned to Cristine, she looked at that same spot too but was visibly more troubled and conflicted.

" What's wrong?", he asked her.

" I... I can't.", she said in a small tone of voice. She wanted to say it to him, she wanted to admit to what happened. She just didn't know how to say it or how he would respond. She didn't even look at him as she said it.

" Why?", he continued to ask, only wanting to know what was wrong with her.

She shook her head then responded in the same tone of voice as before," I don't want to talk about it... I'm afraid..."

" Afraid of what, Cristine?", he asked further," Tell me, what is wrong?". But she shook her head again.

" I can't...", she refused again.

" Yes, you can. Just tell me, please.", he begged in a voice that gave out his deepest sincerity. She looked up at him and saw it in his eyes. He immediately picked her up and held her close the moment her tears began to show. He had her head against his shoulder to cry on, his arms wrapped around her body to support her from falling to the side with the sickness keeping her maintaining balance. " Shh...shh... Cristine, it's alright. Take the time you need. I'll wait for when you are ready.", he whispered to her. One of his hands was now holding the back of her head and stroking it with his thumb.

After a short while, her cries mellowed down enough for her to speak. " Taka...", she began in a whisper," And Sumi tried to...". She stopped again when her tears start returning.

Alucard pulled away for a moment and held both sides of her face. Only a few tears were currently streaming from her face. Her eyes were looking down from him. He stroked one tear from her left cheek with his thumb." Cristine...", he whispered to get her attention," It's alright, I promise you that whatever happened to you, I will fix or at least make it easier for you. You have nothing to be afraid of, not while I'm around.".

She tilted her head to the side a little, leaning into one of his hands. " Would you like to tell me later?", he asked her. She shut her eyes for a small moment then nodded.

" Alright, I will wait for when you are ready.", he told her softly. He then kissed her head again and they just embraced each other.

___________________________

An hour and a half later...

Alucard was in the library trying to figure out what the white powder from earlier was. He'd ask Taka or Sumi, but a small part of him thought that there was something strange about them and this powder had something to do with it and it wasn't for any good intentions. He searched through the books and so far he didn't find anything.

He was leaning over the table with his hands as support while reading the pages of the books below him. He focused on every word that was written down.

He was so focused on the pages, he didn't even bother noticing the two people walking through the door. Not until he felt one of their hands on his left shoulder. He turns his head towards the person who owns that hand and saw Taka with a calm expression with his eyelids half-closed but not in the sense that meant he was tired. He looked towards his other shoulder to see if Sumi was there, and she was with the same unreadable facial expression.

" What are you two doing up this late?", he asked with his eyebrow slightly raised since it was almost midnight.

" You've been so busy lately.", Taka explained as he pushes the books aside," We thought you could use a break.".

Just when Alucard was about to grab the books, Sumi grabbed his hand by the wrist. When he looked at her, she was smiling up at him." Come now, Alucard you should relax.", Sumi tells him with a honeyed tone of voice as they both push him down the table," You deserve some quality time."

Just when Sumi leaned in to kiss him, Alucard stopped her by having one of his hands in front of his face. He then gently pushed her face away and gave them a serious look as he stood up. He said," I would prefer it if neither of you attempted that."

Taka then held Alucard's chin with his thumb and index finger, turning the dhampir's head in his direction. He contained the same smile as Sumi's was before." Come now, you've done so much for us. You should be rewarded.", he said before Alucard tugged his face away from Taka's hand.

" You can do that without being physical with me.", Alucard sternly stated as he walked to the other side of the table, picking up the books that Taka pushed away with no care.

" Besides, you two have each other. You can be physical all you want. Just leave me out of it.", he then added as he stood up and was about to walk to the door.

The two looked at each other with confusion then back to Alucard." Where are you going?", Taka asked Alucard, who was just about to exit the room.

" To room where I can research in peace.", he responded, not referring to his bedroom. He figured that they would possibly try again there.

" Why? What's your problem?", Sumi added to the questions. Sighing in annoyance, Alucard turned his head towards them with a half angry and half bored look on his face.

" My friend is sick and has become paranoid for almost a week now, for reasons she refused to tell. She hasn't gotten any better. I am trying to figure it out before she likely dies. So what the Hell do think my problem is?!", he ranted at them. His nails became sharper, his golden eyes began to dimly glow, he was getting angry. Which was something he normally wouldn't do. It would have almost been strange for anyone who knew him well.

" Why help her if she refuses to let you?", Sumi questioned. Alucard rolled his eyes and tapped the book with his fingers, visibly showing that he was getting impatient.

" Why waste time for someone like that?", Taka then added; resulting in Alucard becoming more impatient with them," It's not like you love her--"

" Yes, I do!", he thundered, silencing Taka before he could say more. Both Taka and Sumi looked at him with wide eyes and in silence.

" You both heard me: I love her.", he continued his eyes still narrowing at them," More than either of you could ever imagine. More than I ever thought I could dream."

" How-- How can you?", Sumi asked him, confused by this harsher and uncalm side of him then stated," You have only known each other for about a month now."

Alucard looked away, feeling much calmer than before. His angered facial expression changed into a soft one, something he rarely showed to people.

" From what I learned from all this time", he began in a softer tone before turning back to the two with a more stern look on his face," is that days in isolation will feel like years to anybody. That's how Taka.". He then left them both in silence, not even telling them a good night, not like they deserved one after what they tried to do......and what they could have done.

___________________________

Alucard paced to Cristine's bedroom, wanting to be close by her and to research quietly.

Christine wakes up from her deep slumber once she heard the door open. She squinted her eyes from how tired she was and how the moonlight coming from the window was bright enough to light the room. Even though her vision was blurry, she still recognized the person at her door.

" Adrien?", she groaned as she used her arm for support to lift herself," What is wrong?"

" Nothing", he answered as he entered the room and shut the door. He then walked over to the other side of her bed and placed the books on the side table. Cristine's head followed his direction to see what he was doing.

" I just wanted to avoid our two guests.", he then finished as he walked towards the chair and sat down. He looked out the window with the same annoyance he had before, not directed at her. He had his arms crossed as he leaned back on the chair and deeply sighed.

" What happened?", she asked him, tilting her head a little.

He didn't answer her, at least not at that minute. Remained silent for the time being. After shutting his eye along with a much calmer sigh, he turned to her and opened his eyes as he responded with," Best not to worry about it, Cristine. I promise you that it is nothing. Just rest your head, you need your rest."

Although she doubted his response, she still nodded and laid back down to sleep, trusting his words as she often did. She laid her head on her pillow then closed her eyes, falling back to her dreamless sleep almost instantly.

Alucard then turned away from her, staring back out the window. But as he did, couldn't help but think about turning back her direction, to look at her sleeping form at least once. He tried to think of something else since would have been wrong to look at her while she slept.

His eyes then led his direction back to her, feeling that there was no harm doing it once. His usually emotionless facial expression practically vanished and turned into one with awe. He couldn't help but stare at the small yet peacefully sleeping woman in the bed.

The small moonlight shined on her snowy pale skin making it practically glow, her long lashes touched her rosy cheeks, her soft; long dark auburn hair draped over half her body. She looked as innocent as a child while she slept. He couldn't help but think of this," So beautiful, so pure". With the desire to touch her, he carefully got off the chair and quietly walked over towards her. He knelt in front of her. He lifted his right hand while the left one rested on the knee that touched the ground. He then allowed the back of his fingers to gently stroke her cheek while also pressing a strand of hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

A small smile formed from the sleeping woman's pink lips and made his heart flutter. He couldn't help but smile at the results. He felt like could see this for hours if not days.

Shaking his head back to reality, his smile then leaves him and he turned from her again. He took one of the books he brought to the room and sat down back on the chair to look for more information on the white powder he found as a distraction.

He kept on looking for a long amount of time and found nothing so far. That was until one page caught his attention.

" Cyanide,", it was written," a very toxic white powder that has a bitter almond-like odor, but not always. It can be exposed by breathing it, drinking it, touching it, or eating it. Can be extremely deadly depending on how much is exposed. Symptoms may include dizziness, fatigue, body sores, headaches, nausea, loss of consciousness...". He stopped before even finishing the list of symptoms.

He looked towards Cristine with worry, noticing that these symptoms match hers. Remembering how strange everyone's behaviors were, he added the pieces together and realized what was going on.

" Taka and Sumi...", he muttered to himself to not wake Cristine," They are behind this... But why?". He closed the book then sets it aside. He got off his chair then walked towards the bed, looking down at Cristine with gentle sorrow. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek with his knuckles, with the feeling of guilt for not seeing this sooner.

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