#i wish sica was there

[gontijolab]

Double feature: Wings of Desire (1987) + Miracle in Milan (1951)

Since I've started reading Borges' Aleph I'm more curious about magical realism stories. Those two movies kind of walked very near the subgenre.

Wings of Desire is all about angels envying the human nature and ultimately falling from grace.

It's a late 80 black and white flick that used color on a very inteligent and emotional way. I loved that there's some subtle messages hidden in details along the movie, like children being the only ones that look to the sky and therefore the only ones able to actually see the angels. All the adults can't see them cause are too busy looking to their own problems. The contemplation of Sublime as a path to notice God (even if only a mere glimpse of Him).

Another pretty interesting thing was the presence of a Nick Cave's show in the middle of the movie on a very Berlin Goth nightclub. It had no other purpose other than adding texture to the character's dramas and doubts. Beside being very cool, of course. I feel like this generation of weirdo cinema directors (Lynch is another one!) had a very healthy relationship with parallel forms of art. They used their movies as a platform to bring attention not only to interesting themes, but also interesting artists.

Miracle in Milan was simply beautiful.

This drama comedy spoke to me on a very deep level specially because of it's main message:

God's active interest on blessing the poor

We follow the story of Toto, an naive orphan boy who sees the world through goodness lens only. He ends up ona poor region where he helps homeless people building a slum. The problem starts when they find oil and a rich man decide to buy the land for himself.

This movie* is certainly closer to Magical Realism as it is part of the Italian movement of Neo-Realism:

Toto was born from a cabbage plantation;

the ghost of his mother visits him;

there's a magical dove that make wishes come true;

a statue comes to life;

and many, many, other fantastical apparitions

The resilience of the poor in front of a rich man trying to kick them out of their slum, their only home, is touching. I won't give you any spoilers but when the movie ended I couldn't help but saying out loud "Glory be to God!".

Conclusion

This double feature was a really good one because it balanced the existencial drama of "Wings of Desire" with the social commentary comedy of "Miracle in Milan". I recommend watching them in that order so you can start the experience crying and end it laughing.

-

*Curiously this was not the first Vittorio de Sica movie I've watched in life. Decades ago I saw "Bicycle Thieves" (1948) but I think I was too young to really understand the director back then. Time for a re-watch.

[zelihatrifles]

Bicycle Thieves/ Ladri di Biciclette (1948)

Even before you've probed into Ricci, the filmmaker makes sure you are rooting for him as soon as you hear him worrying about his pawned bicycle. You see his wise young son and the tiny baby and them having to do without bedsheets so that he can get the bicycle and start working. Future looks good for him until you remember the title of the film. Going by contemporary pace, the action is bound to go slow, but you are there with Bruno and Antonio every step of the fatiguing way as they look for the precious bicycle. Bruno's joy at the stretch of the mozzarella cheese makes you smile too and so does Maria's affectionate appraisal of Antonio when he dons his uniform the first morning of the work. I'll not dare to say that I know much about filmmaking, but what i watched was simple, real, heartfelt, and what if it is set in post-second world war Italy? You can still relate to it. You want Ricci to find the bicycle and be able to live the life he deserves to, but Italian neorealist filmmaker Vittorio de Sica will not give you the ending you wish for, because life is not like that, is it? You too find something pricking at your eyelashes when you see father and son walking away, ashamed, humiliated, despairing but still bound to live on.

[itzchrissydoesstuff]

Am I the only one who wishes that Tommy Sica (the composer for Breadwinners) would release an official soundtrack for all the background music in the show?

[fairybond]

About Page  |  Headcanon page  | Canon Divs  | Verses  | Tags | Trivia

Below are points I consider to be important regarding my muse and I hope they will be kept in mind during plotting/writing. Links to specific headcanon or divergence posts may be included in the below and I may add to this post in the future, as I go back over the manga or think about things further.

Note: filler arcs/chapters and the 100 Year Quest are not included as canon here.

A few months after Fairy Tail disbanded, she joined Blue Pegasus. She attended the FT revival to catch up with everyone, but ultimately she has stayed as a BP mage. She still keeps in regular contact with her FT friends of course.

Edolas is a trauma that is not going away any time soon. Along with some events in her childhood, Edolas has given her a myriad of issues to deal with. She gets anxiety and paranoia about being pulled away from her life/family again, she has trouble separating dreams and reality at times, imposter syndrome, she struggles with not feeling real and with disassociating. She has a level of separation anxiety and gets nightmares. Edolas was about survival, there are some things she cant forget (like seeing guildmates killed in front of her, and Erza Knightwalker hunting them all). Along with the bad, there was some good too, she misses the ones in Edolas that she had grown close to (Edo-Juvia in particular), and she feels there’s no one around her now (aside from Sica) that she can talk to about her whole experience.

The public does not know about Edolas or the truth behind her disappearance in X782. 

Her Takeover forms are a little different to canon and do not appear as skimpy little outfits, instead as bodysuits (like a fitted onesie ig). She has the forms of – tiger, wolf, eagle, bear, cat, dog, hare, swan. The souls of the animals are something she’s always aware of and they can influence her. Having stayed in her tiger form for too long once, she has developed pointed canines. Sometimes, she gets intrusive thoughts from the animal sides that she has to try ignore.

In her earlier years, she had a very happy childhood with her siblings and parents. The relationship between her parents and the wonderful home they had is a huge influence on Lisanna, it’s something she idealises and wishes for herself. She still has good memories of this time in her life and tries to hold onto them. The loss of her parents and the way she and her siblings had to leave the village is still something that hurts.

Nature is very important to her, she loves being outside and taking care of the environment. She’s really into recycling and upcycling.

She is big on touch as it is something she craves and finds natural, it helps to ground her in reality too. She is also very affectionate, but will tone herself down and do her best to respect the boundaries of others.

Tenrou – canon is a bit vague on the timeline, but to me, the S-class trials were a decent while after the Edolas arc. Lisanna, having just returned from a place where she couldn’t use magic for 2 years, would not have volunteered to be Juvia’s partner if it was so recent. She needed time to train up and get back to at least her previous skill level. On that note, the Juvia/Lisanna team up vs Erza…they lost because they were not in sync with each other and because Lisanna – seeing Erza in a fighting mood – was reminded too much of Knightwalker, it had nothing to do with ‘Juvia’s heart not being in it’.

Tartaros – She and Natsu were not naked in the prison cell together. No nudity. Meaning she also didn’t become naked in front of everyone when her magic disappeared a little while after.

During the war – She had returned to BP after FT was re-established as a guild, so when the war began, she was with BP. There were times where she was able to fight alongside her siblings, but also alongside her fellow BP members. On that note, while I haven’t decided if she was with BP when they teamed up with Sabertooth – the two guilds were not crucified by the enemy and were instead simply running low on magic when FT reinforcements turned up.

[girlsgenerati0n]

rin!! 💖 i haven't listened to the new sica mini yet. but...! what do you think of the album? 🌸

hi lum!! 🎀💕

the sica mini was saur good!! i truly loved every single song

no skips for me 👍

beep beep is my favorite on the mini, than get it? got it? good after that. i'm not too fond of the rapping in get it? got it? good, but i'll get it past it lol.

beep beep sounds like taeyeon’s weekend to me, but not in a bad way 🌸

i felt like set me free sounded too similar too fly when i heard the sample, but it’s not as similar as i thought & it’s great to hear sica do some more of her legendary powerful vocals 🗣️

best summer is so sad 😭 but it’s so catchy as well. get it, got it, good is AMAZING probably my second favorite on the album after beep beep. i do wish it didn’t have the rapping in it LMAO, but i can live 🫡

better late than never is saur beautiful, i love sica’s vocals….

overall i really enjoyed it!! i hope she keeps releasing more music regularly 💖

[veraciousverax]

12.25.22

Don’t worry about a thing!

My mother always reminds me.

Birthday time, we talked about how lonely she was when she was pregnant with me. I told her I wish I could was born as her sister and not her daughter. She says she would choose my father’s family a million times, even though he wasn’t kind to her (until the end when his girlfriend dumped her and she was there, doing his laundry). Because they stood by him like a rock. That she could never thank them enough. That she tells everyone I’m surrounded by aunties.

A’kaa

‘Amorkor

Sista

Maami

Sisi

Sica

Sweetie

Irene

Angela, Edwita and Kukua

Ellen, Rebecca and Bernice

Joy

Fay

Kate

Mamaa

Judy + Lou

Gloria, Marianne, Morkor and Markai

All the auntie Gifty’s

One of my earliest memories is auntie hash telling me I have so many mummies.

And how much auntie markai loves auntie max, she was the Mimi to her inez. Because auntie Gloria’s family had been there for her when papa NII was born (among other births); and they know how it is. This village of women.

I guess these are our stories. Stories I usually don’t want to share bc they’ve been bastardized into being about the hollow loneliness of not having a mother, rather than a sprawling village.

And even still, I don’t owe my life to this village. Because when you thank someone, you don’t die there.

[asoomatic]

Girls’ Generation | pajama party.

[cherchersketch]

# Cher Reviews Manhwa

I’ve been reading an insane amount of manhwa recently so decided to compile a list of what I’ve read so far so that I can peer pressure encourage my friends to read some of these with me.

Grouping everything by ranking (and just plain alphabetical order in each rank) These are all my own opinion please feel free to like/dislike what you like/dislike. I also have a separate list for the meh to the DNF-ed since this is purely the good stuff.

Here’s a list of some terms I use in these Please mute “manhwa live reactions” if you don’t want spoilers to the ongoing ones since I occasionally have to scream

The ones in italics are completed series. Yes, most of them are ongoing ;w;

Loved this so much I spent real life money Another Typical Fantasy Romance Father I don’t want this Marriage First Night with The Duke For Better or For Worse June Peach Just Leave Me Be Leveling up my Husband to the Max My Secretly Hot Husband The Soulless Duchess The Villainess’s Days are Numbered Under the Oak Tree

Yes PLEASE READ THIS Amina of the Lamp Author of My Own Destiny A Villain is a Good Match for a Tyrant Beware the Villainess! Falling for the Enemy Flirting with the Villain’s Dad Here comes the Silver Spoon! His Majesty’s Proposal How to Win my Husband Over I became the Hero’s Mom I found a Husband when I picked up the Male Lead I’m all out of Health I didn’t mean to Seduce the Male Lead I’m the Tyrant’s Secretary I will be the Matriarch in this Life I will change the Genre I will Seduce the Northern Duke Karina’s Last Days Love Lies Marriage of Convenience My Mom entered a Contract Marriage Not-Sew-Wicked Stepmom The Male Lead’s Little Lion Daughter The Reason why Raeliana ended up at the Duke’s Mansion The Villainess Lives Twice This Villainess Wants a Divorce Villains are Destined to Die

I enjoyed my time reading this A Business Proposal A Royal Princess with Black Hair A Wicked Tale of Cinderella’s Stepmother As you wish, Prince Becoming the Dark Hero’s Daughter Cheerful Countess Sisters Daisy - How to become the Duke’s Fiancee Duchess Crow Even though I’m the Villainess, I’ll become the Heroine! From a Knight to a Lady I am the Real One I confessed to the Boss I got Married to a Villain I raised a Black Dragon I raised the Beast well Into the Light, Once Again Iris: The Lady and Her Smartphone My In-Laws are obsessed with Me No More Nice Sis Observing Elena Evoy Perfect Marriage Revenge Priscilla’s Marriage Request Princess Shuden Raffine’s Plan: Save My Favorite Character Sica Wolf Side Characters Deserve Love Too Sixth Sense Kiss The Evil Lady will Change The Maid and the Vampire The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess The Newlywed Diary of a Witch and a Dragon The Northern Duke needs a Warm Hug  The Villainess is a Marionette The Villainess is Retiring Villainesses Have More Fun Villainess in Love Virtues of a Villainess What’s wrong with Secretary Kim Wicked No More When the Count’s Illegitimate Daughter gets Married When the Villainess is in Love Who made me a Princess Writing my Male Lead’s Happily Ever After

[konpeitounosei]

Idk why but the Yeasterday episode is such a comfort to me. Mainly the part involving the bad day and swaysway crying in the closet is so relatable. Like whenever I feel like crap, I watch the episode and experience the same emotions that the characters do and it feels like I’m not alone in this situation. I wasn’t really into time travel originally but the Yeasterday bread just sounds really cool and I really like the time travel parts too. It reminds me of this one Japanese book called “The Girl Who Leapt Through Time” (which I’ve never actually read lol). And it is an episode where SwaySway’s and Buhdeuce’s relationship is at it’s best. Buhdeuce cares so much about his partner and repeatedly travels through time over and over to save his best bap. It really is heartwarming. Also, the little tune/leitmotif that plays throughout the episode is amazing and I honestly wish that Tommy Sica (the show’s composer) would release it publically. But yeah, 10/10 episode and a huge comfort for me. It ended up becoming my favorite episode, even as a child it was my favorite.

Also, we cannot forget the unicorn bread. That was the best part of it all.

[891movies]

810 to go

ninotchka (1939, dir. ernst lubitsch): this movie has some uhh.... questionable ideas about communism, socialism and capitalism. but goddam if greta garbo isn’t charming. 

the hangover (2009, dir. todd phillips): i never had any interest in watching this movie but you know what? not as bad as i thought. not good either, but still. incredibly of its time, though maybe that’s because it was so influential.

a christmas story (1983, dir. bob clark): i never saw this movie as a kid so i don’t have the same nostalgic love for it as a lot of people. it has its charms but i spent a lot of it wishing the narrator would just shut the hell up. he wasn’t needed! 

the garden of the finzi-continis (1970, dir. vittorio de sica): boy, that de sica really loves his bicycles! i think i need to not watch any movies about the holocaust for a while.

real life (1979, dir. albert brooks): it’s really interesting seeing the ideas people had about reality TV back then. you gotta give it to brooks for predicting the amount of psychological torture this genre would be putting its subjects through in the coming decades.

sans soleil (1983, dir. chris marker): good lord, i wanna travel. it’s not often you see a film this intimate, i felt like it was speaking directly to me.

the quiet earth (1985, dir. geoff murphy): oh i really loved this movie. i kinda wish the first act went on even longer? definitely my favorite part, although i loved it as a whole too.

day for night (1973, dir. francois truffaut): a movie about filmmaking could be really up its own butt about it but there’s a sincerity and playfulness here that really makes it feel real.

my brilliant career (1979, dir. gillian armstrong): i didn’t expect a film with this title to be so romance-oriented but i still really loved it. you get a real sense of what she’s sacrificing to pursue her dreams and how difficult it is to form her own identity when everyone around her expects her to be something else.

[heroineimages]

Azibal, the Pirate Princess

Art commissioned from the always amazing Telenia Albuquerque! @9musesandanoldmind​

Meet Princess Azibal, one of the more recent characters from First Empress. Azi is a daughter of an infamous Venarri (Phoenician) corsair warlord known as Barkit, the Pirate King. Early in book two, Queen Viarra and three of her warships thwart a pirate attack on a small, island fishing town while on their way to visit one of her rivals. Azibal and her crews take the villagers hostage in order to secure a chance to escape imprisonment and execution.

As part of the negotiation, Queen Viarra keeps Azibal as a political hostage to ensure her father leaves Vi and her allies alone. At the same time, Azibal serves as her father’s emissary to Viarra’s court and an advisor against the hegemony’s domestic pirate threats.

********

“General, we’re holding the gate, but the pirates within have taken hostages,” a hoplite reported as Derron approached the village.

“No surprise,” Derron nodded. “Any competent brigand knows how to use a hostage screen to their advantage, and this lot is one of the more professional I’ve seen,” he admitted.

At his approach, the hoplites guarding the gate stepped aside to let him pass. Over a hundred villagers had been rounded up, on their knees with their hands behind their heads. A dozen or more bodies lay about the village square, and most of the survivors looked like they’d been roughed up before Queen Viarra’s soldiers arrived. Fifty to sixty armed pirates stood over the prisoners, facing off with Viarra’s hoplites.

A brawny, tallish young woman with olive skin and obsidian dreadlocks stood at the head of the pirates. She wore a leather-and-bronze layered cuirass and brandished a spear and buckler with a wicked sica strapped to her hip. Beside her stood a teenaged boy in leather armor, holding a kopis to a villager’s throat. Their similar skin tone and facial features suggested siblings.

“Stay the fuck back, hoplite,” the woman warned in a heavy Venarri accent. “I’m sure you can overwhelm us before we murder all of the villagers, but I suspect we can kill enough to defeat the purpose of your rescue.”

“If it helps you feel better, we let your friends outside flee,” Derron assured her. “I think we can settle this without more bloodshed.”

The woman scowled, but craned her neck to look over the helms of Derron’s hoplites. She raised her brows in surprise for a moment, apparently seeing her allies’ escape. Her eyes widened and she stumbled back a pace as something else loomed into her vision. Derron smirked beneath his helmet as Queen Viarra stepped past him a moment later.

“You–you’re… Queen Viarraluca,” the woman stammered, stepping back yet another pace.

“And you’re one of Barkit the Pirate King’s daughters, if I’m not mistaken,” Queen Viarra observed coolly, stuffing her spear into the sand before doffing her helmet. Derron raised his brows and nodded at the mention of the infamous Venarri pirate king. “You look early twenties, which makes you either Princess Azibal or Princess Tanitha,” her majesty deduced.

“Princess Azibal,” she confirmed. “But, why are you here, your majesty?” she asked. “These waters belong to none of your allies.”

“Merely passing through,” Queen Viarra admitted. “We’re on our way to Pellastor and wished to trade for food and water. But in return, I must ask, why are you here? This is a long way west of your family’s usual territory.”

If Derron recalled, King Barkit’s fleets normally raided well to the east of here, preying on shipping around the great island of Botrys. Something like a hundred and fifty or a hundred and sixty miles long, the maps of Botrys always reminded him of a curling strip of bacon, running north to south and bulging outward to the east. It was the largest island in the Vestic Sea and was considered by geographers to be the primary division between the Vestic and her sister sea, the Istartus.

“Aye, it is,” Princess Azibal agreed. “My father looks to expand our territory and sent Yarik and me to scout these waters,” she explained, gesturing to the teenager beside her.

“Makes sense,” Queen Viarra granted. “With the constant conflicts between the Empire of Pellastor and Illaran Hegemony, Emperor Orvandius’s northern allies are a bit underdefended of late.”

“Aye, that was our rationale,” Azibal agreed.

“I hope you’ll forgive me if I recommend against it,” her majesty countered. “Too many of my allies rely on trade with Pellastor’s northern allies. With my hegemony freed from its past debts to Pellastor, I’m already focusing on deploying more ships southward and negotiating treaties to allow use of the local harbors for bases of operation. A new major pirate threat to the region would complicate too many of my plans.”

“Aye, but that’s not my decision to make,” Azibal admitted.

“I’m aware,” Queen Viarra nodded. “Your father, half-sister, and step mother form the triumvirate that makes those decisions. But since we’re negotiating for these hostages anyway, I propose a deal.”

“Alright, talk,” Azibal frowned, glancing at her crewmates before looking back at the queen.

“If you set the prisoners free, my hoplites will back off and allow your crews to leave peacefully, keeping either you or your brother with me as hostage,” her majesty proposed. “The other sibling will report back to your family, warning them to stay out of my waters and Pellastor’s northern waters. The sibling who stays as hostage will remain with my entourage, both as collateral and as an emissary in future relations between my hegemony and your family. Does that sound fair?”

“You said Pellastor’s ‘northern waters,’ aye?” Prince Yarik finally spoke up, raising a brow.

“Correct,” her majesty nodded. “Their southern waters along the mainland are frankly not my concern.”

The prince smirked and seemed to chuckle as he nodded a little.

Princess Azibal seemed to think it over, conferring in hushed tones with Prince Yarik and two other officers. After a long deliberation and one of the officers becoming visibly upset but outvoted, Azibal turned back toward Queen Viarra.

“Aye, let my crews leave, and I’ll stay as hostage,” Azibal agreed.

Derron immediately decided he was glad of Queen Viarra’s foresight. The last thing the hegemony needed was a vengeful pirate warlord invading their waters over the deaths of two of his children.

[continuo-docs]

Mesías Maiguashca – Música para cinta magnética (+) instrumentos (1967​-​1989) 2xLP, Buh Records, April 2021 https://buhrecords.bandcamp.com/album/m-sica-para-cinta-magn-tica-instrumentos-1967-1989

Another carefully curated, landmark release from Peruvian label Buh Records, after their reissue of the legendary Walter Smetak LPs. This time it's an anthology of Ecuadorian electroacoustic music composer Mesías Maiguashca, born in Quito in 1938. After classical music studies in Ecuador and abroad (USA, Argentina, Germany), Maiguashca relocated to Germany in the mid-1960s where he worked in famous studios like Cologne's WDR, Karlsruhe's ZKM as well as Paris' IRCAM, and has since led an international career as educator, composer and performer. Titled 'Music for magnetic tape and instruments', this 2xLP is an overview of Maiguashca's work circa 1967–89 encompassing musique concrète, electroacoustic composition, as well as electronic music combined with live instruments like percussion, string quartet or organ.

The album starts with the musique concrète piece Ayayayayay, from 1971, a brilliant tape recorder collage from a variety of outdoor sound recordings done in Ecuador, including environmental and street recordings, animals, conversations, radio broadcasts, political speech or folk music. Cleverly assembled, sometimes transformed through ring modulator or other sound effect, these sounds are in a constant dialogue between each other and contrasted with synthesizer –the latter used as counterpoint, transition device or simply texture– to form a lively and colorful soundscape, at times nostalgic or ironic.The earliest and shortest piece here is El Mundo En Que Vivimos [The World We Live In], from 1967, a great musique concrète collage of found sounds and electronic music. We hear folk music instruments like koto or shô, as well as Western string instruments and bells, all interknitted with pure electronic tonalities from some voltage controller or what sounds like radio waves and static noise. Tape-manipulated parts are a real joy to listen and I only wish the piece would be a little longer.

The other works on the disc combine live instruments with electronic music. Intensidad y Altura, from 1979, is a piece for percussion instruments and synthesizer. The percussion –drum, cymbal, marimba, gong– favors non rhythmic, semi-aleatoric sounds while the synthesizer itself alternates between church organ-like, long-held notes and sequences of very nuanced and subtle, tape-manipulated synth sounds. Various modes of dialogue between percussion and synthesizer are explored throughout with an extreme attention to pitch and tone – the title means Intensity and Pitch. Whether in contrast or in homophony, these sounds at times combine into some purely magical sound epiphanies.

Composed in 1989, The Wings of Perception I is part of a cycle of 6 compositions inspired by books of Carlos Castañeda. The string quartet part uses advanced playing techniques of contemporary music (glissando, pizzicato, sforzando, noises, etc), à la Ligeti or Lachenman. The tape section was recorded using a specially-build cubic structure with various hanging metal objects used to create specific, unpitched sounds. For my own taste, though, this percussion section is a bit subdued in the final mix and the string section a tad too polished and conventional, so that nothing really stands out in the end.

Nemos Orgel (1989) pairs church organ played by Zsigmond Szathmáry with prerecorded organ and synthesizer sounds from an earlier 1971 Maiguashca piece titled Übungen. Inspired by Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, this is a wonderful exploration of organ textures and abstract, long-held synthesizer notes, creating a truly mystic and otherworldly music. The analog synthesizer takes the lead in the second half and the music becomes rather weird at times. The entire piece succeeds in offering a beautiful, organic amalgamation of acoustic and electronic sounds, an apt equivalent of Captain Nemo's fantastic underwater organ.

As you can see, the Música Para Cinta Magnética anthology is a fine selection of tracks and comes with superb sound quality, a perfect introduction to Mesías Maiguashca's work.

[review by Laurent Fairon]

[staytheb]

Moonlight Melody - chapter 1

Word Count: 1,363 next chapter

Moonlight Melody masterlist.

semi-proofread. anyways, the chapter is short and introduces Jessica as a Cupid Reaper happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

A young woman relaxed upon a sturdy swing attached to a large branch of a grand oak tree while staring off into the distance with the feel of the summer-like cool air settling around her. The sound of the sea's waves slowly flowing back and forth underneath a twinkling twilight starry sky despite a glowing moon accompanying alongside the peaceful view. Soon enough a summery-like melodious sound flow around which lulled her into deep thoughts. So lost in her thoughts and the tranquility of the scenery around her she fell asleep where she sat.

~~~~~~~~~

The young woman along with another just a few years younger awoke to unfamiliar surrounding. They were not in their home and their memories fuzzy and hazy. It felt like they were in some gray and airy space, but they weren't sure of it.

"Where are we, Jessica?" The youngest of the two asked while looking around them.

"This doesn't look like the resort we were supposed to stay at."

The youngest faced her older sister.

"Are we dead, sis?"

Jessica gazed about her with a shake of her head equally confused.

"I don't know, Krystal. I can't really remember anything. It's all so fuzzy."

"I can't remember anything either. I just remember only you and my chest aches badly for some reason."

Krystal looked at her older sister with confusion before gazing at the now changed scenery of a green meadow below her and the bright yellow-blue sky filled with wispy clouds above her. Everything seemed endless and it was just the two of them in this too quiet of a place. The pair also noticed their outfits of a plain silver knee-length long sleeve gown. Nothing made sense. Jessica noticed the fear settling in her sister's face and tried to reassured Krystal.

"Don't worry, Krys. Everything will be just fine."

"I don't feel fine, Jess. I can't help but worry." Krystal admitted as tears began to form.

Something tugged in Jessica's chest and she didn't know how to comfort her sister without her own worries creeping upon her. She realized that fear had slowly crept upon her, too. Still she tried to keep on a brave facade to ease her own sister's fear of whatever was happening just now. Soon enough the sisters heard several sounds going on at once along with the weather changing. A strong breeze began to blow around them and the sky suddenly grew darker than before with a full moon shining down upon them. The sounds of bells began ringing, sirens wailing off in the distance, and the pair had no idea what was going on.

"Don't worry, little sis. It'll all just be fine," Jessica reassured her sister despite sudden tears slowly cascading down her cheeks, "Okay?"

"Okay, Jess," Krystal responded as tears also cascaded down her cheeks, "It'll all be fine."

Jessica smiled weakly having suddenly felt an impending moment was about to creep upon her. Just as she had reached out to hold her sister's hand the winds grew stronger.

"Krystal!" Jessica exclaimed in panicked as she clutched her sister's hand tightly.

Just as Krystal was about to do the same thing a swirling dark hole in the sky suddenly opened up and sucked Jessica into it leaving Krystal to desperately cry out for her older sister knowing that she'll never get an answer back.

"Jessica! Jess! Jessica?!"

Krystal yelled up to the now quiet and empty sky with arms outstretched.

"Jessica!"

A moment later Krystal instantly grew dizzy and her vision blurred. She crashed onto the now flower-filled meadow that began to bloom around her. Her eyes caught sight of a forget-me-not before losing herself to sleep.

"Be at peace. The time will come when your sister has paid her dues for the both of you."

An old man suddenly appeared named Yue Lao spoke into the air as he motioned with his left arm around within the air.

"Rest now, my child."

Krsytal's body re-positioned itself to lie upon her back instead and her previous clothes transformed into an elegant yet simple dress of shades of blue while being enclosed inside a glass-like box with more forget-me-nots growing alongside it.

"For now, you'll enjoy Eternal Twilight in a different form until then."

Yue Lao sadly cast a smile upon the slumbering Krystal before motioning with his right hand and the glass-filled box with Krystal inside disappeared into another hole that opened within the sky just like how Jessica had disappeared before her.

~~~~~~~~~

Jessica jerked awake to the same picturesque view before falling asleep some time before. She sighed at the reality of it all as she slowly breathed in and out the stuffy-like air while wishing it had all been a dream. It's been less than five years since the incident and Jessica still wonders how she and her sister's fate became the way it did. Lost in her thoughts once again she was unaware of the two feline visitors fluttering around her.

"Sica."

A male black cat with bat wings and sharp canines named Eclare called out to her. No response.

"Yo, Sica."

The other feline, a male white cat with feather wings and a halo above it's head named Blanc, also called out to her. Again, no response.

"Hmm, maybe the summer heat got to her?" Eclare stated with a tilt of his head as Blanc rolled his eyes.

"The Eternal Twilight doesn't get like that, but because she's still mortal, it could happen due to her mortal desires."

"What should we do?"

"I could slap her in the face."

"You're too mean."

"I never said I was nice."

"That halo really doesn't fit you."

"Shut up.

Blanc tried again while waving a hand in front of Jessica's face which caught her attention.

"Hello? Anyone home? Ms. Cupid Reaper. Hello!"

"Hmm? Oh. Hi, Blanc. Hi, Eclare. What's up?"

"Nothing, but what's up with you? You've been spacey lately?"

"Yeah, Blanc's right. You've been spacey."

Eclare inputted with a concerned face as Jessica brushed them off.

"It's nothing. So, why are y'all here? Shouldn't you be at the Cupid or Reaper Station right now?"

"Nope. Free time. Let's go get strawberry gelato. They have their summer special going on! Double Strawberry and Strawberry Parfait!"

Eclare suggested with a grin while pointing a paw at Blanc.

"He's been waiting for you to treat him to peach gelato."

"No, I wasn't."

"Yeah, you were."

"Was not."

"Was to."

The felines continued to argue and Jessica smiled at their interaction before intervening so that it wouldn't get too out of hand while suggesting they return to the Earth Realm for gelato. This proved to calm the cats as they were now eager to dig into the sweet treat and were peaceful for the time being. Jessica smiled once again at the two's interaction as doing something seemingly like this made her life a little more normal than other days as taking care of her supernatural duties were exhausting at times. Since that fateful day nearly five years ago Jessica became a human slash supernatural being of sorts. She was a Cupid that was a Messenger of Love and a Grim Reaper that was a Caller of Soul while also living her life as a regular human being.

Jessica couldn't exactly recall how she had become one, but learned that she was the only one of her type in both worlds from the creatures of the otherworldly. They gave her the title of Cupid Reaper and was honestly the name they ever knew her as. If not, then she was either called Cupid J or Reaper J, respectively. Honestly at first it had freaked Jessica out greatly and she just wanted to go back to what she knew before being a supernatural being, but no matter what it was her reality. After a few practices of handling all three parts of this new lifestyle she came to realize that it was something she had to do to fulfill the dues of herself and for her sister.  It was tough, but she managed thus far and had to roll with it as it was her new life she couldn't escape from.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG171!

- … Yeah, reasoning that “The Gardener” would be the worst title for a Flesh episode was a correct hunch, and the induced feeling was indeed “Ewwwwwwwwwww”.

Amazing contrast between the locus amoenus, with wind (that we could occasionally hear through the windchime), plants, maybe a stream gurgling (I think I heard some water?), Jared’s wheelbarrow, birds chirping (regarding the species, Alex said they were “Meat Birds”.)… and the whimpers, moans and sobs of pain, plus that terrifying scream followed by weeping when Jared took care of the “pruning”. Jonny, why.

- We’ve had a few unique “statement” formats in the journey: The Stranger’s poem (MAG165), The End’s coroner report (MAG168), and now The Flesh’s… botanical textbook? I felt like this one was a bit different in the way Jared really didn’t seem to exert much control over the domain (since he asked Jon to “hear about [his] garden”), unlike, for example, Oliver, who had given his own observations; and because… the victims felt so far away from a direct narration? There were layers upon layers narratively removing us from them (… although we could physically hear their moans of pain, directly in front of us): Jon giving the domain’s statement, and the domain explaining how to handle these people. The only direct glimpse of them was the small section towards the end of each case. Jared mentioned that the current rule seemed to be “just people using each other up”, which Jon repeated when proceeding with the smiting, and it really found an echo in the way the statements have felt less… subjective, and instead removed and distant? Not really allowing people’s voices to be heard, except for a brief moment? I wonder if it was a Flesh-thing, or if it’s installing something as they get closer to the Panopticon – the principle of this episode felt so Beholding, observing from afar things that were happening right in front of us…

- The domain’s statement was extremely organised every time:

* The genus and species for the plant-people (the root of their fear in Latin-ish and their own name), followed by the cultivated variety (the exterior result). It was incredibly nasty since in the nomenclature, the “species” of plants… doesn’t take an uppercase. And here it was people’s name, as if they were reduced to simple objects and common nouns.

* The way to prepare the living conditions: soil, temperature, light.

* The way to ensure growth and the necessary regular “care”.

* People’s inner experience and feelings in the state they’re in.

* The observed result, advertisement-like.

… It took me a while, and I’m really not sure about it, but I heard/understood:

* “Cultivation notes for [Fortisium] reese, commonly known as the ‘Gristlebloom Orchid’”: with the mention of “aggressive dehydration” and “they must always and forever be more”, toxic culture about the standards regarding muscle mass, with extreme and aggressive body-building. * “Cultivation notes for Gracilium patricia, commonly known as the ‘Bone Rose’”: toxic culture about thinness. * “Cultivation notes for [Sicarium] leopold, commonly known as the ‘Cutaway Tulip’”: toxic culture regarding plastic surgery, especially to remove traces of ageing. * “Cultivation notes for Supremium maeve, commonly known as the ‘Lily of the Damned’”: that one was a bit trickier, and seemed to be a mix of the pain coming from disability, and the obsession of a separation between body and soul?

I’m not sure about the names (my Latin is old, rusty, unreliable), but as far as I can tell through digging a bit, the roots would make sense for each: “fortis” (strong), “gracilis” (thin, tight, skinny, lean), “sicarius” (murderer) or “sica” (dagger), “superus” (above, higher; “supremus honor”, the superlative, referring to the last honours given to the deceased). … Except the declensions don’t work. “Fortisium” isn’t a form that can exist at all, as far as I can tell, same for “supremium”.

But you know what all of these have in common?

Latin words with –(i)um just slapped on to the end (regardless of whether that makes any grammatical sense).

- So. I need to make a whole separate Point about it, because if I’m right, it’s absolutely hilarious: The Eye, and Jonathan “Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he ‘speaks Latin’ then he might be talking nonsense again” Sims, might not know shit about Latin either.

(I’m not shaming anyone for not knowing anything about Latin, I’m not super confident about what I’m saying here either (it’s old stuff and I was very privileged to study it a bit!): but I’m shaming Jon HARD for complaining about Martin’s lack of knowledge of it… if it turns out that he, too, was absolutely shit at it. JON.)

- I’m not sure, but I feel like Jon’s tone has been getting more and more gleeful when telling the “statement” recently? It was a bit more pitying/sympathetic at the beginning of the journey, while there has been a form of… ravishment and tender, carnivorous pride? with The Desolation and now The Flesh. So, uhoh. Is Jon getting desensitised again along the journey, as he re-experiences the Fears…?

- The idea of Martin meeting Jared had been thrown around for fun and almost like a joke (Alex voicing two characters in the same room, interacting with each other), I’m so glad it happened! I still can’t understand 95% of what Jared is saying, even without the Distortion’s static! Yoohoo!

And the tiny thing I like about Jared is how… contrarily to Jonah’s complaints (MAG160: “I was a little put out when that idiot Jared Hopworth misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital” – Jonah, it wasn’t because Jared was an “idiot”, it’s because YOU messed up that one), Jared is a quick-thinker, very fast at understanding the situation, very straightforwardly logical when it comes to Jon seeking him out?

(MAG131) JARED: … What do you want? ARCHIVIST: I, uh… I want a favour. JARED: For letting me out? ARCHIVIST: Yes. JARED: Alright. ARCHIVIST: Oh. O–okay. D–do you need to know… wh–what it is? JARED: Not much you could want, comin’ to me. Put summat in. Take summat out. Which is it? ARCHIVIST: Take something out. A bone. A–a rib, probably. So–something I won’t miss.

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: You know why I’m here? [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: I can guess. Took a bit to figure out which rib was aching. But when I did… well. Obvious, really. [OMINOUS SHIFTING, CRACKING AND POPPING] Why shouldn’t you want it back? ARCHIVIST: [SHARP EXHALE] It’s too late for that now…! JARED: Not really, but… whatever. […] So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers.

Jared had assumed Jon was here for the rib, and it would have been a logical thought (Jon had the power to get back what was his)… and Jared immediately corrected his assumption when Jon explained that it wasn’t the case, leading to Jared deducing that Jon was just here to kill him. I’m not sure many avatars would have been able to understand this that quickly.

- Fun thing about Jared’s gym is that both Martin and Jon knew about it separately: Martin read the statements about “J” (MAG090), and Jon had been directly told about it by Jared in MAG131:

(MAG090, Ross Davenport) “It was text only, and read, ‘Your perfect body is here. Become all you can be.’ […] The man who stood there was, without a doubt, the biggest guy I had ever seen, and bear in mind I spend my time hanging out with bodybuilders. He had to hunch down to fit through the doorway, and was almost twice as wide as I was. Most of his body was covered in a loose tracksuit, and I could see clear stitch marks where it had been enlarged for him. Embroidered onto the chest was the letter ‘J’. […] J was there, standing his full height. A distended, jagged body bared in all its twisted grandeur, and he shook his head in frustration. He said something, I think, but I couldn’t make it out. It might have been ‘too soon’. I try to remember some of them in detail, the confusion of limbs and joints and muscles, but all I can remember is the happy, joyful way they called to me. Told me that the pain was worth it. It makes me sick that a small, sharp part of me wishes I’d stayed to listen.”

(MAG131) JARED: Some of my mates, the ones I helped find their proper bodies, they listened, and went to feed the hunger. Not me though. I never was that ambitious.

(MAG171) JARED: So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers. [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: … No. I can’t let you carry on like this. What happened, Jared? I thought you only worked on the willing. JARED: … What? Says who? Oooh, the gym! [THROATY LAUGH] I mean, yeah. They wanted to change, but they were still scared. First at what I’d do to them, then at what would happen if the world couldn’t handle their beautiful new bodies. Not like I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart. [SNORT] Hearts.

BUT WOW JON, WHY THAT ASSUMPTION?? Jon knew perfectly well already that Jared… hadn’t limited himself to the gym, that he had been, and still was, an Avatar Of Many Talents.

(MAG017) ARCHIVIST: I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006. He was found lying dead in the middle of the road on the night of April 17th. Despite the fact that there were no crushing or trauma marks on the body, the inquest ruled it a hit-and-run car accident due to the mangled position in which he was found. It was a closed casket funeral.

(MAG049, Gregory Pryor) “Hector looked at the paper, typed something into his phone and threw it away as he walked off. It was an address in Stockwell, and an instruction: ‘Ask for Jared.’ […] He pulled back the tarpaulin covering Hector’s body and cracked his knuckles. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of him doing that. Then… he reached into Hector. No cutting, no saws, he just… reached in. And I realised why the room was soundproofed. Because it turned out Hector wasn’t dead. And it was going to be a while before Jared got around to his lungs or throat. […] There is… no way to describe what it feels like, to have bone pulled out of you through your unbroken skin. […] I slammed the door shut and ran into the street, through the people still wandering Stockwell in the evening, and away. My now empty left arm hanging limply by my side. I didn’t stop running for a very long time. […] The doctors amputated the arm in the end, and I’m getting used to the prosthetic. But I can still feel it sometimes, like it’s still there. I know it’s just phantom limb syndrome but… sometimes I swear it feels like my bone’s still out there, twisting in someone else’s arm…” ARCHIVIST: Statement ends. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume this butcher to be Jared Hopworth. It seems that if Mr Adekoya’s account from statement #9991006 is accurate, then Hopworth has found new ways to profit from his abilities in the eight years since his acquisition of The Boneturner’s Tale.

(MAG131) JARED: I wandered around for a bit. Worked a lotta jobs where it didn’t matter what you looked like. There’s always a spot for someone who can get rid of people. You must have heard about me. I left plenty of people scared and crying, itching to tell someone what happened to ‘em. Some of them must have made it to you. […] The letters started comin’ in about two years ago. Good white paper, large print. Nice and simple. Dunno who sent them; they were never signed, and I dunno how they kept finding me. There was never much in them; normally just a name, and a place, or a time. I ignored the first couple, but they kept coming, and eventually I got curious. So, I followed the instructions in one of ‘em. I found Regan Hasnain of 70 Clairmont Gardens, and that got rid of most of my doubts. I don’t blame people for thinking that all bones are the same, most people don’t have much experience – but it’s not true. There are good bones, and there are bad bones, and Regan Hasnain had some very good bones in her. They were solid, healthy, and they jumped at my touch. I didn’t doubt the letters again. They came pretty regular after that. And they always led to summat good. Quality bones, a new mate, or some unlucky fool who wouldn’t look at me for the fear. It got so I trusted them.

He’s been a butcher (with a bit of “artisty” vibe already, in the way he was twisting bones), he’s been a coach/gym adviser, he’s been an assassin-for-hire, and now a gardener. Terrible man, and wow, the range, the flexibility. So what the heck, Jon. Why the focus on the “willing”, you knew it wasn’t true – or at least, not all of it.

… Was it once again a case of Jon trying to hope that there were a few mostly harmless avatars? A bit like how he behaved towards Oliver? Hence the focus on the “willing”?

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: … No. I can’t let you carry on like this. What happened, Jared? I thought you only worked on the willing. JARED: … What? Says who? […] Anyway: willing, unwilling; don’t work like that anymore, does it? You made sure of that. MARTIN: That’s… not fair. JARED: And what? MARTIN: I… JARED: [CRACK] MARTIN: I, uh… JARED: So what? Don’t really matter now, does it? ARCHIVIST: … No. [INHALE] No, it doesn’t.

After all, if avatars could hypothetically survive without causing much pain to “unwilling” people, it would mean that Jon might be able to sustain himself in another way than by terrorising “unwilling” people. It just feels a bit surprising, indeed, that it would still be a concern of Jon’s (a preoccupation that followed him for the entirety of season 4)… given that they’re in the apocalypse right now. But there is also still the underlying question of what would happen to people, and to Jon himself, if the apocalypse was to be undone and, even regardless of this, the fact that Jon seems to be evaluating which avatars “deserve” to get smote.

I mostly wonder: if they hadn’t walked on Jared causing even more pain to people, and if Jared had been more passive in the garden, would Jon have spared him? Jon presented it as his reason for smiting him, but I’m… really not sure it was his actual one…

(- Jared’s jokes… “Not like I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart. [SNORT] Hearts.”…

We knew he canonically had Many, Melanie had mentioned it:

(MAG131) MELANIE: I stabbed him in three different hearts. Didn’t work. If you want to go hunting for a fourth, knock yourself out.

But that joke… Jared, please.)

- I know there were many screams about homophobic Jared in the fandom, but personally:

(MAG171) JARED: Oh! And who’s this? Your boyfriend? MARTIN: Hum– ARCHIVIST: Yes. Actually. JARED: Oh. [A BIRD’S CHIRP FALLS FLAT] Mm. … So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead?

… I heard it as either “Jared would have said that anyway if one of them had been a woman” and/or Jared was Shooting His Shot with Martin.

- Jon&Martin Are Together, season 5 edition:

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. […] There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. […] The one you love is always near, so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison.

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: What do you want. HELEN: To say hello! And check up on the happy couple~ [LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: I always knew you crazy kids would make it work!

(MAG167) MARTIN: Ssso. If you say Gertrude wouldn’t have been able to go on without a reason… ARCHIVIST: Yes, Martin, you are my reason. MARTIN: Just wanted to make you say it…!

(MAG170) MARTIN: I’m… I’m in love, eh! I am in love, and I will not forget that, I will – not – forget. I am Martin Black–

(MAG171) JARED: Not really, but… whatever. … Oh! And who’s this? Your boyfriend? MARTIN: Hum– ARCHIVIST: Yes. Actually.

(+ Technically, Jude’s “valet”: it was derogatory, but at the same time… her own frame of reference was her devotion for Agnes as a god/woman, so.)

- Martin, polite boy who says “Please” and manages to get what he wanted:

(MAG171) JARED: Right. So are we doing this or what? I reckon I can get a few good hits in before I go down. Give you a little something to remember me by. ARCHIVIST: … No you won’t. JARED: [HUFF] No. Maybe not. But you’ve gotta try, haven’t you? MARTIN: Please don’t. JARED: What? MARTIN: You’ve already made your mark. [SILENCE] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: [THROATY LAUGH] Fine. Consider it a favour.

(Also, really laughing that Martin is canonically ��little”. At least to Jared (“Don’t fret yourself, little man.”), which, uh, might not actually say much.)

- :D The return of Jon reminding Martin to not touch dangerous stuff!

(MAG113) MARTIN: Ooh! Ooh! There’s a book in this one. ARCHIVIST: [HASTILY] Don’t… touch it! MARTIN: Ooh… OH! Right. Yes. ARCHIVIST: Let’s… not touch any books we don’t know. MARTIN: Right. ARCHIVIST: Step back.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Either way, best not to actually climb onto the thing, if we could help it. MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway.

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: Don’t – touch – anything. MARTIN: I wasn’t planning to, uh…! Are they still… alive?

Martin…

- Martin stayed for the “statement”! They learned from MAG170, to prevent him from getting lost again, uh…

- Technically, we didn’t “learn” anything new regarding Jon-in-the-new-world: he admitted since the season 5 trailer that to some part of him, the horror felt “right”. He mentioned that “guilt” was protecting him from embracing the things he was made to experience. We know he consumes fears, is fed by it. There have been multiple jabs from avatars about how Jon is tailored for this world because of his connection to The Eye and/or his role as “Archivist”(/Archive) and/or as the tool used to bring the apocalypse, leading him to be at his peak in the current events – in control, above all other avatars, all-knowing:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here – in the world that we have made.”

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: Are you still… [SIGH] “feeling it”? Seeing everything? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I, I’m trying not to, but… all of the fear, th–the anguish, i–it just… [INHALE] It keeps coming at me in waves, rolling over me, filling my head with such… awful sights. MARTIN: … I’m sorry. That sounds… [SMALL EXHALE] That sounds horrible. ARCHIVIST: … I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. … But it feels… right. [MIRTHLESS HUFF]

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: … Besides… G… [SHAKY EXHALE] Grief… is healthy. I–if nothing else, it pushes away the other feelings that that… thing wants me to experience.

(MAG163) MARTIN: … How do you know all this stuff? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: Not sure…! I just do.

(MAG164) MARTIN: A–alright, but… but how do you know that– ARCHIVIST: I just do. I just know it. [SILENCE] [SHUFFLING] MARTIN: You’ve been knowing a lot lately. ARCHIVIST: … Yes. MARTIN: A lot more than you used to. ARCHIVIST: Y… [SIGH] Yeah. And it, it feels more… deliberate. L–like I have more control now. MARTIN: Okay. So… how much can you see? What else do you know? ARCHIVIST: Uh… Maybe everything…! MARTIN: What’d you mean, “everything”? ARCHIVIST: I don’t… Ask me a question. O–one I can’t… possibly know already. […] HELEN: Hello, Jon! [FOOTSTEPS] [THE DOOR CREAKS CLOSE] ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] How did you find us? HELEN: Oh! I thought you’d know everything by this point. […] And please: my name is “Helen”. ARCHIVIST: Like you said, I can know everything now. Including how much of a lie that really is. HELEN: Don’t mistake “complication” for “falsehood”, dear Archivist.

(MAG165) MARTIN: But. You said we needed to go through these places. … Is that even going to work here? ARCHIVIST: Uh… [EXHALE] We need to go through them… metaphorically. MARTIN: Mm… ! ARCHIVIST: Psychologically, we need to… “experience” them.

(MAG166) HELEN: We’re all here, Martin. The Stranger; The Buried; The Desolation; all of us. But The Eye still rules. All this fear is being performed for its benefit. And so, there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid. And Jon, well… he is part of The Eye; a very important part. And he’s able to, shall we say… shift its focus. Turn the one into the other. And for those of us whose very existence relies on being feared, well… To be turned into a victim destroys us utterly. And very, very painfully.

(MAG168, Oliver Banks) ARCHIVIST: “This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself.”

(MAG169) JUDE: You’re not scared, though, are you, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … I can feel the pain of every person you have trapped here. My own isn’t all that different. JUDE: Yeah, but you like seeing their pain, don’t you? Their fear? ARCHIVIST: … Yes. JUDE: You and that stupid Eye, god, you make me sick! Lording it over everybody like you own the place? You’re just leeches, voyeurs, parasites on the real monsters. […] Oooh, I see! I get it. You finally get a sniff of power, and the first thing you do is try to settle some old scores. MARTIN: [LOUDER COUGHS] JUDE: Play the big man, get off on good old-fashioned petty revenge~! […] I’m happy in this world. I belong here. And so do you. MARTIN: [COUGHS] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS]

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: It takes a skilled gardener to get them to grow like this. The curling, cascading intricacies of collagen and marrow… it takes devotion. MARTIN: Jon. [FOOTSTEPS STOP] [WHIMPERS IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: … S–sorry. MARTIN: You sound like you think they’re beautiful. [FOOTSTEPS RESUME] ARCHIVIST: Don’t you? [SILENCE] […] JARED: Anyway: willing, unwilling; don’t work like that anymore, does it? You made sure of that. MARTIN: That’s… not fair. JARED: And what? MARTIN: I… JARED: [CRACK] MARTIN: I, uh… JARED: So what? Don’t really matter now, does it? ARCHIVIST: … No. [INHALE] No, it doesn’t. […] JARED: [LONG MEATY INHALE, EXHALE] Cheers for that! ARCHIVIST: … Don’t. MARTIN: Jon, are you… alright? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, hum… Sorry. MARTIN: No, it, it’s alright. JARED: Is it really that bad? Seeing what I’ve done here? Or… uh! Is it maybe that deep down, you think it’s as beautiful as I do? ARCHIVIST: Shut up! [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: It’s a shame…! Who’s gonna look after the garden when I’m gone? There are a few real pretty ones. Who knows: maybe they’ll uproot and start landscaping themselves…! That’d be nice. Then again, maybe it’ll just grow wild. ARCHIVIST: I don’t care. JARED: … No. You don’t, do you? ARCHIVIST: … I can’t… There’s too many. I can’t save everyone. [EXHALE] I c–, I can’t save anyone.

Jon judging that something terrifying was “beautiful” is not new: he described the Dark Sun that way… but then he was at his peak of Beholding!avatar-casually-traumatising-innocents. Right now, I’m concerned about the mix of little slips (Jon implying the garden was “beautiful” and describing it with ravishment, almost falling into statement-mode even though there was no static yet), Jon’s reluctance to try and intervene from the start, and the fact he sounds like he’s… lost hope of doing anything worthwhile or good for the situation. He was defiant and a bit hopeful back when they left the cabin (“Gertrude didn’t think so. […] But she’s dead. Let’s find out for ourselves.”) and that part seems to be eroding. We know that the statements seem to be affecting him (Martin noticed something afterwards, and was concerned again after the smiting) but I’m fearing that Jon is currently losing himself a bit, at least in… forgetting to reject the things that used to disgust him. Re-traumatisation, re-desensibilisation as they’re going through all the domains? If it’s the case, in what state will Jon reach the Panopticon…

- I’m a bit squinting at Jon’s wording here:

(MAG171) JARED: It’s a shame…! Who’s gonna look after the garden when I’m gone? There are a few real pretty ones. Who knows: maybe they’ll uproot and start landscaping themselves…! That’d be nice. Then again, maybe it’ll just grow wild. ARCHIVIST: I don’t care. JARED: … No. You don’t, do you? ARCHIVIST: … I can’t… There’s too many. I can’t save everyone. [EXHALE] I c–, I can’t save anyone. JARED: If you say so. … So.

Because it seems to me that Jon was implying that he could, in theory, save people from the domains, on a case-by-case basis? He didn’t say it was impossible per se: he first said there were “too many”, and that he couldn’t save “everyone”, before concluding that he couldn’t save “anyone”. But he managed with Martin! (I don’t think that it could work in practice: the world is now ruled by the Fears, so “freeing” someone from a Fear would likely just lead to them getting caught by another domain, or dying/disappearing/collapsing because they can’t sustain themself, etc. But, in theory, it felt like Jon was admitting that he might have the power to save punctual people with his powers?)

Jon has pointed out to Martin, multiples times, that they were in-between the domains and that it wasn’t worth it to try and interact with people. Although he has been interacting with avatars, Jon has been very reluctant to even try to do this with regular people, or even to know what was happening to them once they had left the domains:

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: I–ignore them, they’re not… Just ignore them. MARTIN: … They’re not… real? [VOICES SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE] ARCHIVIST: [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLING] No…! They’re real; they were… normal people before the– … Before me. But now they’re here, meat for the grinder. I just mean there’s no point… talking to them. MARTIN: Don’t be a prick, Jon. Hey! I’m, I’m sorry about him. He’s–he’s going through a lot – well… we all are, I suppose, but well… “Hi”, I guess. [SILENCE] Hello? ARCHIVIST: They won’t hear you, Martin, they’re all… too busy waiting to die. […] MARTIN: What’re you doing here? [PLASTIC RATTLING] It’s dangerous. Could… get yourself blown up, like all these poor… [PLASTIC RATTLING] Who d’you think they were? Really don’t see why they can’t just… go round, picked a better place to… [STEPS THROUGH LIQUID] [SIGH] I guess there… aren’t really any “better” places anymore, are there? [STEPS THROUGH LIQUID] It’s all this. Or worse, or… or different.

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: We’re fine. MARTIN: A–are we? I mean, that place is– … I don’t, I don’t feel fine, okay, and you were there a long time doing your… y–you–your guidebook, which, you know, I get it, but that place is… I–it’s–it’s infectious, and, I don’t– ARCHIVIST: We’re not infected, Martin, that place, it– … It isn’t for us. […] MARTIN: Are we safe, traveling like this? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, sort of, we’re… I don’t know how to phrase it, we’re… something between a pilgrim and a moth. We can walk through these little worlds of terror, watching them; separate, and untouched. MARTIN: [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] That’s not as comforting as you might think. ARCHIVIST: I like it better than the alternative…!

(MAG165) MARTIN: What about the merry-go-round? With her gone, is it, is it still th– ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know! MARTIN: [CHUCKLING] Yes you do! ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t… want to know, plea– We need to go. [BAG JOSTLING] Please.

(MAG169) MARTIN: Oh, it’s not just your revenge though, is it? Destroying her… it would help all those people in there, wouldn’t it? ARCHIVIST: … Maybe? It’s… [INHALE] Like I said, I can’t see the future. It wouldn’t free them, if that’s what you’re asking. “Free” doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN: Apart from us. ARCHIVIST: I suppose. I–in a sense, though… [CHUCKLING] how much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to– MARTIN: Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another… ontological debate right now, not here.

(MAG171) JARED: It’s a shame…! Who’s gonna look after the garden when I’m gone? There are a few real pretty ones. Who knows: maybe they’ll uproot and start landscaping themselves…! That’d be nice. Then again, maybe it’ll just grow wild. ARCHIVIST: I don’t care. JARED: … No. You don’t, do you? ARCHIVIST: … I can’t… There’s too many. I can’t save everyone. [EXHALE] I c–, I can’t save anyone. JARED: If you say so. … So. I guess that just leaves revenge, then, don’t it? Can’t say I blame you. That’s all life is, really, innit? Just people using each other up. ARCHIVIST: Spare me the crude philosophy. […] MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm. [MOANS OF PAIN IN THE BACKGROUND] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MARTIN: Jon. We are… doing good, right? Making things better? ARCHIVIST: … I don’t know if that was… ever an option.

… Technically, Jon could have known already in MAG169 what happened to an “unsupervised” domain – since it had happened already with the Not!Them. Why the reluctance to know about that? (I’m mostly wondering if there is a non-negligible Beholding part of Jon just plain refusing to make Fearful Resources disappear, thus him not even trying to improve people’s situations overall… Smiting avatars is providing a new form of fear, of entertainment to The Eye: it’s a novelty, something unique, the Feared made Fearful! It seemed good, in theory, to erase avatars from existence, but in the end… it’s still feeding The Eye, since the apocalypse is still running.)

- >w< Sobbing a bit about that exchange:

(MAG171) MARTIN: Jon! ARCHIVIST: Mm? MARTIN: I need to ask you something. ARCHIVIST: Okay. MARTIN: I meant to ask. A–after the fire, actually? But, well… Then was the house and everything, and it just sort of– ARCHIVIST: What is it, Martin? MARTIN: … Why didn’t we go after the landlord guy, in the tenement? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan? MARTIN: Yeah. He’s still there, right? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] After Jude, th–the fires, I… I didn’t want to put you through anymore. MARTIN: [EXASPERATED SIGH] Don’t do that. ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Don’t use me as an excuse. ARCHIVIST: I, I’m not! I just… It didn’t seem worth it. I didn’t… hate him, like I hated her. He never hurt me. MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave it… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm.

… since it could be two different things, although not contradictory. It could stem from Martin’s own issues regarding his self-worth (refusing to think that Jon could try to accommodate Martin out of love/worry/care for him), and/or… Martin being spot-on about Jon’s tendency to hide himself, hide his actual motivations and feelings behind “more acceptable” pretences.

Jon lies and Jon hides, including to and from himself. That’s a thing he’s been shown to do when afraid and/or ashamed. He spent a good part of season 4 trying to convince himself that The Web or Beholding were manipulating him into attacking innocents, without leaving him any choice – and he still displayed the choices of going out for walks, going out for a coffee, not warning anyone that it was happening behind their backs. It could be the same thing: Jon trying to rationalise his own actions, because he’s pushed by a new influence, that he doesn’t fully acknowledge. Martin is suspicious, at least, so I really hope that it will lead to him acting on it – re-evaluating the “use” of the smiting plan, which is now officially only for “revenge” and feels hollower and hollower every time? Martin pushed him in that direction, so whether Jon is simply following Martin’s moral stance (because he doesn’t trust his own) or actually compelled by Beholding or something, it clearly feels like a mistake by now. Martin, you’re his anchor, say something! ;w;

(At the very least, I don’t think they’ll be as straightforward with Jonah: if the smiting feels unsatisfying now, there is no way it would feel fulfilling with him at the Panopticon.)

- Compilation of Jon’s stance about the different avatars since the apocalypse, and how the smiting proceeded:

(MAG162) MARTIN: Look, Jon, I… I, I know it hurts, but you’ve just got to… ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay…

(MAG164) HELEN: I’m afraid the Archivist is too powerful now. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: If he tried to travel through my corridors, it would not go well, for any of us. ARCHIVIST: But mainly for you. HELEN: Ouuh! [CHUCKLE] Is that a threat? ARCHIVIST: No. HELEN: Mm! Pity.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: … What did you say? [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] NOT!SASHA: [SHAKY BREATHES] I’m–I’m sorry… MARTIN: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You were wrong, you know. NOT!SASHA: [GASPS] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: There is more suffering than you can ever experience, so much more. The horror of your victims… NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] ARCHIVIST: Their constant, senseless agony�� NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn. [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No… Please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] MARTIN: … Whoa–oh–oh! ARCHIVIST: I, uh… MARTIN: What was that?!

(MAG168) MARTIN: So, you… gonna smite him, then? ARCHIVIST: … Hum… MARTIN: Jon? … Jon, I said: are you going to sm– ARCHIVIST: I heard you the first time. MARTIN: And? ARCHIVIST: I… I don’t know…! MARTIN: W-Why not? Can’t you just do what you did what that “Sasha-thing”, make The Eye see him and all that? ARCHIVIST: I–I could, I think. MARTIN: … Cool, so what’s the problem then? Take another monster off the hit list, job done. ARCHIVIST: I–it’s not… that simple? […] I just, I don’t think he’s… [SIGH] I don’t know, I don’t think he’s evil. [CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: Oh, yeah, sure, he’s probably a really kind, benevolent ruler of a hellish fear prison…! ARCHIVIST: It’s just… He helped me. Wh–when I was… He woke me up. […] Who knows – maybe he’ll try to stop us getting through the roots, and I’ll have to! MARTIN: Mm. ARCHIVIST: But I’m not going to… seek him out. At the very least, he’s earned not having me hunt him down. MARTIN: Fine. I suppose that’s… reasonable. ARCHIVIST: Now, if you’re quite done inciting me to murder? […] I… I feel… [FOOTSTEPS] No. I don’t want to destroy Oliver Banks. It wouldn’t do any good. I know that, and he never asked for this any more than I did. I feel badly for those that exist in his domain, o–of course, I do, but… At least, their suffering will be over, eventually. I can’t destroy everyone I cross paths with, it… [SIGH] No. If Oliver will not seek me out, then… I will leave him be. [TINY CHUCKLES] The avatar of Death… shall live. Martin’s going to be thrilled…!

(MAG169) MARTIN: … Right. [DISTANT SOUND OF SOMETHING COLLAPSING] Right… I just assumed this would be… Who was that landlord guy? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan. He’s here, he has a… part of it, but it’s… huge. […] I… Oh, right. I–I want revenge on Jude Perry. I want to… “smite” her. Make her feel what… [SIGH] what all her victims have felt. But I’m not willing to force you to suffer for it. […] [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. [STATIC INCREASES] Now, feel it! All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE: Oh, piss off– [PAINED GASP] … [STRAINED] Look, look. Wait, right? I’m sorry, okay? I… shouldn’t have burned your hand. […] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] MARTIN: [COUGH] [PANTING] Is it…? ARCHIVIST: It’s over. … She’s gone.

(MAG171) [STATIC RISES] JARED: Grow well, my darlings. Grow well. [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: Feel it. JARED: [MEATY HISS] ARCHIVIST: Feel all the terror and despair as your garden grows. Let it flow through you, and blossom! [MEATY SOUNDS] JARED: [GROANS] ARCHIVIST: Just people, using each other up! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this thing and drink – your – fill! JARED: [GROANS] [MEATY SOUNDS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: [GASPS AND PANTS] MARTIN: [SOFTLY] … Jon? ARCHIVIST: I’m here. MARTIN: Are you okay? [MOAN OF PAIN IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: I’m… great. You? […] MARTIN: I meant to ask. A–after the fire, actually? But, well… Then was the house and everything, and it just sort of– ARCHIVIST: What is it, Martin? MARTIN: … Why didn’t we go after the landlord guy, in the tenement? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan? MARTIN: Yeah. He’s still there, right? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] After Jude, th–the fires, I… I didn’t want to put you through anymore. […] I just… It didn’t seem worth it. I didn’t… hate him, like I hated her. He never hurt me. MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm.

* Jon invoked the “Ceaseless Watcher” both with the Not!Them and Jared. It’s not absolutely unheard of, but he only called it that way once in season 4; usually, he goes more with “The Eye” or “(the) Beholding”. “Ceaseless Watcher” definitely feels more ceremonial and… reminiscent of Elias marvelling about Jon’s dreams in MAG120. So, really, when Jon does the smiting, it doesn’t feel like he’s doing it for himself – but mostly as a sacrifice to his patron? It felt even worst with Jared and Jon’s “drink – your – fill!” since… yeah, The Eye is feeding from the act, uh.

* ;; Reminder that The Eye wanted Jon to leave the cabin in MAG162 (“This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC INCREASES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis.”). Which means that Jon is supposed to be evolving… towards another state of being, once again, and something that would please The Eye.

* Jon mentioned “anger” and “hatred” about Jonah and Jude, and although understandable… it also doesn’t really feel fulfilling when there is only that. Hatred/Anger, turning into violence, smiting, and then that’s it. It doesn’t change or solve anything.

* It feels like an escalation: Jon spontaneously killed the Not!Them, went after Jude on purpose, and sought out Jared… who offered reparation. Who offered to give Jon’s rib back, and Jon discarded the idea right away:

(MAG171) JARED: I can guess. Took a bit to figure out which rib was aching. But when I did… well. Obvious, really. [OMINOUS SHIFTING, CRACKING AND POPPING] Why shouldn’t you want it back? ARCHIVIST: [SHARP EXHALE] It’s too late for that now…! JARED: Not really, but… whatever.

There is a huuuge contrast between what Jude and Jared had each done to Jon: Jude found him “annoying” so she hurt him, and told Jon that she still would have done it had she known it would help to bring this apocalypse. Jared… only removed Jon’s two ribs because Jon had asked him to (for his own benefit! To get an anchor to save Daisy, and to get Jared’s statement!). And Jared was still offering to give it back.

It’s not about the violence that is exerted on victims: Oliver was torturing Danika, Arthur Nolan (who is apparently definitely not dead, oh.) had been shown torturing and sacrificing innocent people in the past. It’s not about avatars who casually hurt Jon just because they could: Jared and Jon had made a deal, Jon had come to him for a service.

… But the thing that all three of the Not!Them, Jude and Jared share is that they all contributed to Jon’s marks. As following Jonah’s recap:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “The discovery that one of The Stranger’s minions had infiltrated the Institute in the aftermath was certainly a pleasant bonus. Even if that sliver of paranoia, that “vague wrongness” you couldn’t quite place wouldn’t count as a mark… it was only a matter of time before it confronted you in a far more direct, and affecting, manner. Admittedly, given the advent of The Unknowing, I needn’t have bothered – but what’s the old saying about hindsight? […] Jude served her purpose exactly as I had hoped, as did our dearly departed Mr Crew – marking you for The Desolation, and The Vast. […] I was a little put out when that idiot Jared Hopworth misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital, but then… Oh! You should have seen my face, when you voluntarily went to him. I couldn’t see what happened in there, of course, but given how you came out, I’m very sure it counts as a mark.”

Arthur didn’t mark Jon. Oliver didn’t mark Jon either – Jon was marked by The End during his coma, Oliver only brought him back from it. The Distortion… marked Jon as “Michael” technically (though it’s still The Distortion as “Helen”). Jane Prentiss, Mike Crew and Peter Lukas are already dead. The Buried and The Dark marked Jon through the Coffin and the Dark Sun; The Web through the Mr. Spider book.

… Which leaves, for potential upcoming smiting targets:

* The Distortion, if “Helen” counts.

* … Jonah for Beholding, since he made Jon sign up to become The Archivist.

* … Melanie for The Slaughter (although she has shaken it off)

* ……………………………. Daisy for The Hunt.

If Jon is indeed going after avatars who marked him, that leaves the question of Jon’s degree of control over his own actions. Is he going after them consciously? Is he trying to “unmark” himself, to exercise some degree of control over his current state by getting his revenge over the avatars who made the apocalypse possible, regardless of their willingness for it? Is something else pushing him to do that, and he only rationalising his actions?

I’m super worried for Melanie and Daisy right now ;;

(And very interested for Jon’s reaction if they stumble on Simon. Jon didn’t want to meet him, Simon liked Martin a lot, Simon didn’t mark Jon and didn’t interact with him so far… So it could go in many ways.)

  No conviction regarding MAG172’s title, but I’m mostly thinking Vast, Simon in particular? It could work very well for Web, too, but I’m still expecting Web for last brefore the Panopticon (then again… I wasn’t expecting The Lonely so soon either and we’ve already checked off that one).

The second meaning could… refer to a certain item we’ve already heard of, and/or to Jon’s current streak of smiting combined with the way he’s (over)fed by this world, I guess? ;;

[girlsgenerati0n]

Hi Rin!! Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃🍁🍂 I forgot to ask!! What did you think of the Jessica album and which songs were your fav?? 🥰💖

omg happy day after thanksgiving ann!! 🦃🍗🍂🍁🧡

the sica album was amazing!! truly no skips on it. beep beep sounds like taeyeon's weekend to me, but not in a bad way 🌸

i think my favorite is beep beep, than get it? got it? good!!

i do wish there wasn't rapping in the latter but i can get past it lol

i felt like set me free sounded too similar too fly when i heard the sample, but it's not as similar as i thought & it's great to hear sica do some more of her legendary powerful vocals 🗣️

best summer is so sad 😭 but it's so catchy as well. get it, got it, good is AMAZING probably my second favorite on the album after beep beep. i do wish it didn't have the rapping in it LMAO, but i can live 🫡

better late than never is saur beautiful, i love sica's vocals....

overall i really enjoyed it!! i hope she keeps releasing more music regularly 💖

[yoohyeon]

I miss Sica, I wish she would released some music 🥺