#i wish people will stop bringing up random ass dramas into the tags i go in to check for

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

!!

[twomoonstwosuns]

thanksgiving break

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: smut (18+), swearing, age gap (reader over 18), everything consensual

word count: 4.3k oops

a/n: get ready, i’m turning this into a full series (my first ever series and i’m STOKED). it’s gonna be full of smutty, fluffy, angsty goodness. i’m making a tag list, hit me up if you want to be added. i’ll link the masterlist when i have it made. also sorry not sorry i got really carried away and basically just wrote a porno.

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You hadn’t seen Poe since that night.

You weren’t purposely avoiding him. In fact, you had caught yourself looking for him within a crowd of people, in line getting coffee, or walking outside between classes. Since his class was over, you had no reason to go to the building he taught in. And it would definitely be weird if you started showing up to his office hours without a reason.

Midterms were rough on you and everything after that just seemed to be getting harder. Studying for multiple tests and writing long papers took over your life for the month of November. Graduation was one semester away and you couldn’t take your foot off the gas, so you pushed yourself hard. Your diet consisted of energy drinks and whatever you could nuke in the microwave or get delivered late at night. Luckily, you weren’t alone in your stress. Your apartment-mates Karé and Jessika were in the same boat as you.

It didn’t help that you couldn’t stop thinking about your hookup with Poe, the way he kissed you, the way he sucked on your skin, and especially the way he fucked you just on the cusp of rough. It was good, so good, and you wanted it to happen again, which is probably why you were seemed to be looking for him everywhere you went. What would you even say if you did see him? Hey Professor, wanna fuck again? just didn’t seem like the right way to ask.

Thanksgiving break was a very welcome interruption.

You turned in the first draft of your thesis paper, the invisible weight on your shoulders lifting as you walked out of Professor Holdo’s office, wishing her a good break. Your phone buzzed inside your pocket and you saw your older sister Tallie’s name flash across the screen.

“Mom wants to know what time you’ll be home.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear, checking the time.

“Probably in like an hour, hour and a half? I’m heading back to my apartment now and have a couple last minute things to pack. Why?”

“She’s running to the store and wants to know what you’re making to bring to dinner tomorrow. If you answered your phone, you’d know that.”

You scoffed at her attitude.

“First of all, I don’t know what I’m making yet so tell mom I’ll just stop at the store myself. Second, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been in college, but let me remind you that I still have classes the day before Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, I got that. Sorry.”

Tallie’s answer was short, clipped. At this point you were seriously debating staying at your apartment during break and eating a box of mac and cheese if this was the attitude you were going home to. All you wanted was a relaxing break. You needed it. You deserved it.

“What the hell’s your problem?”

“Nothing. I just—it’s our first holiday since dad left and I’m more angry than I thought I would be.”

You stopped in the middle of the hallway, making students around you have to sidestep you. You shot them an apologetic look as they passed. You understood why your sister was giving you attitude and gave her the benefit of the doubt. You knew it was Wednesday but had forgotten the significance of the day. Today was the day your parents’ divorce would be finalized. You let out a heavy sigh.

“I get it. I’m angry too.” You said.

Another person coming down the perpendicular hallway caught your attention and when you looked, you saw him, the person you’d been looking for. You gave him a smirk as he walked closer and he gave you one back when he made eye contact with you. Everything your sister was saying was passing through your head without being processed as you discreetly checked him out. A black sweater with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms was accompanied by dark blue jeans and a brown leather bag hanging off his shoulder, the shoulders you had fond memories of holding onto as he pounded into you. Poe Dameron was effortlessly dreamy. You held a finger up, silently telling him to hang out for a second. Poe slowed his walking and took out his phone, lingering an appropriate distance away from you.

“Look, the way I see it, we can stay angry or we can not think about it and just have a good break. I haven’t seen you since the summer.”

“I know, I’ve missed you. We’ll have to do something before you go back to school. And you’re right about being angry. I’ll let it go, for you…and for mom. I hate it when you’re right, by the way.”

“I’m always right, I don’t know why you’re not used to it by now.” You heard Poe laugh quietly and you gave him a look. “I gotta go, but I’ll be home soon.”

You hit the end call button and looked back up at Poe.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Everything ok?”

“Yeah, um—“ How much do you tell him? It was just sex the one time, it’s not like you were dating. You shook your head, deciding not to burden him with your family drama. “It’s nothing, really. My older sister’s a little bit of a drama queen sometimes.”

“Ah. Only child; never had that.”

“Consider yourself lucky.”

The air around you was tense, wrought with sexual tension that could be cut with a knife. You couldn’t help but bite inside of your cheek as you looked at him. The way Poe was raking his eyes over you was nearly the same as the way he looked at you at the club. He wanted a repeat of that night too. The words were on the tip of your tongue and you could tell Poe wanted to say something too. You wanted to say them so bad, but you didn’t know who might be lingering behind doors or around corners, so you settled for small talk.

“You heading out?”

“Yeah, I’m flying out to my dad’s tonight. We’re doing friendsgiving with a couple of his Air Force buddies and a few of my friends who don’t have much in terms of family.”

“That’s sweet,” you said. “Is Beebs going with you?”

Poe chuckled. His orange and white corgi Beebs had become very popular when he had his laptop hooked up to the monitor in his class and everyone saw the adorable dog as his computer background.

“Unfortunately no, he’s getting dropped off at doggy day care. Flying stresses him out.”

You thought you ‘awwed’ in your head, but the way Poe snickered made you realize you had actually said it out loud. You couldn’t help it though. The way he adored his furry companion was too sweet. Poe looked around him before taking a step closer to you.

“Give me your phone.��

“Why?”

“Give me your phone.”

You gave him a look as you handed your phone over. He held onto it for a minute, typing something in quickly before handing it back to you. His fingers brushed over yours and your whole body felt warm. You looked up at Poe, his eyes on you as he leaned in.

“See you later.” He said lowly in your ear as he passed you. He was playing a dangerous game out in the middle of the hall like this, but you found yourself growing wet instead of caring. You bit your lip to contain your smile before looking back at him, your eyes landing on his ass that just looked too good in those jeans.

“Tell your dog I say ‘hi’.”

Poe threw his head back and laughed loudly. He turned to look back at you and winked. You walked away in the opposite direction, the smile never leaving your face.

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Thanksgiving dinner ended up being a lot more pleasant than you anticipated. Since your dad walked out, you had expected his side of the family to be awkward towards you. You actually expected them to not come at all. But they showed up with unconditional support that made it clear they were on your side and were very vocal about their disapproval after several glasses of wine. It was reassuring in a way.

It was Saturday afternoon when Poe texted you. You were lounging on the couch working on homework with reruns on as background noise. He asked if you wanted to get together, to which you texted back embarrassingly fast that you’d love nothing more. You’d never admit to it to him, but you had been anxiously awaiting a text since the minute you got home.

He texted you an address to a hotel in the city. Confused, you gave your mother some excuse about going to meet a friend to get coffee and work on homework. With your backpack full of random books, you drove into the city towards the hotel. You nearly sped down the streets, the anticipation at having Poe between your legs again making you want to clench your thighs together.

You arrived at the hotel, texting Poe that you were in the lobby. He gave you his room number and you were having a hard time standing still on your way up. The thoughts that swirled around your head were sinful, and you were so caught up in how aroused you were that you almost missed the room. You knocked twice before Poe opened the door and pulled you inside He pressed you against the door.

“Hi,” Poe said, giving you a sexy smile as he took your jacket off.

“Hi.”

You grabbed the front of his shirt and crashed your lips against his. He wasted no time sliding his tongue into your mouth and tangling it with yours. He was half hard already and you wondered if he had been thinking of you. You groaned at the feeling, heat pooling in your belly at how good it felt having his denim clad cock rubbing against your clothed core. Poe lifted your shirt over your head, breaking the kiss to do it but immediately reconnecting your lips. He pulled you from the door, his hands warm as one hand splayed across your lower back, the other kneading your breast through your bra. He turned you into the room, walking you in.

You unhooked your bra, flinging it somewhere in the room and bringing your fingers to the hem of his t-shirt. You paused as he helped you lift his shirt over his head, staring at his chest. The sneak peek you got through his shirt on Halloween gave way to a broad, muscular chest, tanned and toned. A silver chain lay against his skin, a ring hanging on the end of it. You traced your finger down his sternum, hooking it around the necklace.

“God, you’re sexy.” You breathed. The look he gave you nearly made you melt. Poe grabbed the back of your neck, trailing his lips from the curve of your jaw back to your ear. He left a trail of wet, hot kisses and you nearly lost your breath when he ran his teeth over your pulse point.

“Easy—fuck—easy on the marks this time.” You said breathlessly. “I still have to see my family tomorrow.”

You felt Poe chuckle against your skin, bringing his lips back up to yours and gently biting your lip.

“Good thing it’s scarf season,” he smirked before darting his tongue out to trace over where he’d bitten.

He unbuttoned your jeans and dipped his hand inside, cupping your heat through your underwear. You were embarrassingly wet, everything he was doing was making your body temperature rise. The back of your legs hit the bed and Poe gently pushed you onto it, removing his hand long enough to scoot you back. He pulled your jeans down your legs, unhooking them from your ankles and tossing them into the piles of clothes on the floor.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Poe said with a salacious grin, running his lips over the small tattoo on your side. He ran his finger along your slit over your underwear, feeling you soaking through. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

“Poe, please…”

“Please what?” He had a playful glint in his eye as he traced his finger along your underwear down to your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you really wanted him.

“Touch me. Please touch me.”

Poe practically ripped your underwear off and brought his fingers to your clit, pressing light circles on it. Your hips bucked up looking for more friction. Poe placed a kiss on your stomach and then on your breast before coming face to face with you. His eyes were nearly black with lust.

“Like that?”

His voice was rougher than you’d ever heard and it made you even more wet. You whispered out a ‘yes’ as he slipped a thick finger inside of you, pumping it once, twice before adding a second. “Fuck Poe, don’t stop.”

His thumb circled your clit as his fingers pressed inside you. You clenched around him, your orgasm blindsiding you and making your stomach flutter. Poe dragged his fingers out of you, bringing them up to his lips. Watching his tongue swirl around his fingers collecting your arousal made your pussy ache with need.

Your hands immediately unbuttoned his pants and he pushed them off with his briefs. You hooked your leg around his waist and pushed him onto his back, the underside of his cock against your pussy. You kissed him quick before making your way down to his neck, biting just above his clavicle.

“No bite marks,” his throat vibrated underneath your lips and you felt his breath catch as you palmed him over his briefs. “I’m teaching all day Monday.”

His reasons were as valid as yours, but you knew he was teasing as well. You kissed down his sternum, the metal of his necklace cool on your lips, and looked up at him from under your lashes.

“You could rock a scarf.”

Poe sat up, grabbing your face and kissing you hard as he flipped you back onto your back. You squealed at being manhandled that way and it surprised you how much you like it. Poe pulled away long enough to reach onto the nightstand and grab a condom. He tore the package open and you took it from his hand.

“Let me,” you said softly. You pumped his cock gently, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the tip and licking the pre-cum off your lips as you rolled the condom down the length. Poe thought he could’ve cum right on the spot. He pushed you back and lined his cock up with your entrance. He looked up at you, checking to make sure you were still good. You nodded and he sunk into you slowly, the both of you moaning as your back began to arch. He pulled out nearly all the way, the head of his cock remaining in side you and pushed in again at a slower pace, the month apart making you need a minute to adjust to his impressive size.

“Poe—god, so—“ A big swing of his hips silenced you, a victorious grin on his face. He grabbed your thighs, wrapping them around his waist and thrust into you. Your back arched when he hit that particular spot inside of you, the one that made the coil inside you start to tighten.

He sat back on his knees, scooping you up and hauling you into his lap. Your arms went around his neck to steady yourself as he rocked up into you and you caught a glimpse of a tattoo on the back of his shoulder. The new angle made him drive even deeper into you and when you rolled against his hips, the moan you released was downright pornographic. His large hands grabbed your ass, his fingers digging into your cheeks as he bounced you in his lap.

“You feel so good.” Poe’s mouth latched onto your breast, sucking marks onto the skin while his tongue flicked over your nipple.

“Fuck, Poe—I’m close—“

Poe increased your pace on his cock, slamming into you to bring you your release. Your eyes nearly rolled back into your head.

“Poe—“

“Look at me,” Poe grasped your hair, keeping your head in place. You opened your eyes. His eyes held a look of determination. “That’s it sweetheart, cum.”

You came apart in his arms, ecstasy taking over you and your moan sinful as your fingers tugged his hair. Poe tipped you back onto the mattress, grunting as he came. His thrusts slowed as you both rode out your highs, your bodies glistening with sweat as he collapsed on top of you. He was heavy on you, but it kept you grounded when you felt like your body was going to levitate. Your legs were twitching with pleasure as Poe rolled off of you. He caught his breath before getting up to discard the condom. When he came back, he slipped his boxers on and picked up his t-shirt, making no effort to put any more clothes back on. He pulled you up by your hand and slipped the t-shirt over your head. Your heart fluttered at the tenderness of the action. He was making sure you were comfortable since the blankets were bunched up and wrinkled underneath you and you had noenergy to move beneath them. You flopped back down on the bed and Poe lay next to you, looking at you with a lazy smile on his face.

“I think you nearly killed me this time.” You said, still attempting to catch your breath. Poe laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He knew just as well as you that this time was hookup was different and much more preferred. While it was just as quick and deliciously filthy as it was in the alleyway, you both had more time to get to know each other’s bodies and what made the other tick, which you took full advantage of. “I meant to ask you, why are we at a hotel?”

“I may or may not have locked my keys in my apartment when I was rushing to get Beebs out.”

You laughed loudly, the smile never leaving your face as he told you the full story. At the end of it, you joked with him, telling him it was going to become your mission to steal his adorable dog. He then asked about your holiday and you asked about his. The conversation was easy and effortless, like you were friends; friends who had just fucked each other’s brains out, but friends nonetheless. You heard your phone ring a few times, but couldn’t find yourself to go find it. Talking with Poe was much more interesting than anything anyone on the other end could say. The conversation turned to the current semester, how things were going from both a student’s and professor’s point of view, and then it turned to Halloween.

“So, I’m curious,” you said, rolling onto your side and resting your head on your outstretched arm. “You were awfully quick to seduce me at the bar—“

“You were quick to say yes.”

“How long had you been thinking about this?”

“Awhile.” He answered, shrugging his shoulders when you raised your eyebrows. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How many times have you thought about fucking me?”

The directness of the way he spoke was making you hot, making you wet and your thighs sticky with arousal. You hummed thoughtfully, trying to decide if you wanted to tell him just how long you had thought about him. Poe seemed to notice your hesitation and gave you a suggestive look.

“Tell me,” His voice was soft but demanding as his fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt as he inched closer.

You stretched your other arm above your head, your movements cat-like as you stretched. His eyes followed and settled briefly on your chest.

“Probably like once a week since the first day of your class.” You admitted with a flirty smile. Poe rolled over onto you, stretching his body along yours and holding your wrists above your head with one of his hands. The other traced the curve of your breast, gently playing with your nipple. He rolled his hips against yours.

“Is that so?”

You arched your eyebrow, giving him a look that dared him to do something about it. He leaned down, his lips brushing over yours, when your phone started going off for the third time.

“Oh my god.” You were annoyed, both at the person trying to call you and yourself for not turning your phone on silent. Poe got off of you and grabbed your phone, handing it to you. You huffed in annoyance when you saw your sister’s name.

“Hello?” You pressed your finger against Poe’s lips, urging him to keep quiet. He gently bit the top of your finger before sucking it into his mouth. You clenched your thighs together.

“So get this, Chris forgot to tell me—“

Whatever she was saying about her husband, you didn’t hear. You were too focused on Poe, who had pushed his shirt up and started tracing your tattoo with his tongue. He then moved down and lifted your leg, settling it over his shoulder, and without warning licked a strip from your slit to your clit, making you gasp.

“You ok?”

You squirmed under Poe and he laid his arm across the lower part of your stomach to keep you in place. He’d proven to be good with his mouth, but this was an entirely different kind of pleasure.

“Yeah, just ran into the corner of a table.” You felt Poe smile against you and bit your lip to keep from crying out. He inserted two fingers into you, curling them in succession with every flick of his tongue against your clit.

“Short notice, I know, but do you want to do happy hour tonight? Say, 7 o’clock at Coakley’s?”

You glanced at the clock on the nightstand, seeing it read 5:30. Between the sex and the conversation, you had been there for hours without realizing it.

“Sure, sounds—“ You pulled the phone away from your mouth, biting your lip to silence a whimper as Poe worked you towards your orgasm. “Sounds good.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, fine, that table just really hurt.” You tugged his hair with your free hand and he eased off, removing his fingers just as you were teetering on the edge. You whined at the loss of contact as he nibbled at the skin of your inner thighs. “I’ll see you at 7.”

You made sure you were disconnected before throwing your phone aside and moaning loudly as Poe delved his tongue into your pussy like a man starved. He was quick to bring you back to the brink of orgasm. Your legs trembled against him as you came hard,the pleasure overtaking you and making you lose all train of thought. Poe withdrew his fingers, running them through his mouth and collecting the rest of your juices. He kissed your sensitive folds once more before crawling back up your body, licking his lips as he did.

“That was so cruel.” You said breathlessly, but the smile on your face showed you didn’t mean it one bit. You swiped your thumb on his chin, collecting what remained of your juices and sucking it into your mouth. He pressed his lips to yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth and letting you taste more of yourself.

“You have to get going.” He muttered as he pulled away, lifting himself off of you and pulling you up.

“I do.” You frowned, reluctantly getting off the bed. Your legs were still shaky with instability. “I feel like I’m always slipping out on you. But I can’t go to drinks with my sister smelling like I just spent the last couple hours having sex.”

You gathered up your clothes, making sure you were leaving nothing behind. You looked in the mirror above the dresser, trying to make your hair look somewhat presentable and making sure the hickeys you told Poe not to leave were completely covered.

“I’m being serious, you know.” You said, putting your underwear on. They were still damp and it made you tingle with the memory. “I’m going to steal your dog.”

“I don’t know about stealing him, but you’ll meet him when we do this again.”

You looked over your shoulder as you buttoned your jeans.

“Yeah? Again?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Good.” You slipped your jacket on and walked towards him. “Because this is a lot of fun.”

Poe stood from the bed and slipped his hand into your hair, pulling you into one last kiss. It was softer than the ones you’d previously shared. He pulled away and whispered ‘bye’ against your lips, pecking them once more before releasing you. You grabbed your purse and left with a wave and a wink.

He made you absolutely giddy. If someone had told you that you were going to have a sexual relationship with your professor, you would’ve laughed in his or her face. What made it so great for you was how natural your chemistry was. It was good, lighthearted, sexy fun, something that both of you craved during stressful times.

For the first time in awhile, you couldn’t wait to get back to school.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)

- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-

- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh

- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf

- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞

- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol

- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?

- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!

- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.

- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...

- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo

- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-

- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho

- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED

- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-

- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf

- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-

- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh

- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying

- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.

- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh

- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS

- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?

- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck

- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo

- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???

- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!

- Fangs with his switchblade muah

- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password

- “wait THE BETTY?"

- Cheryl looks so good

- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb

- “drain the vein” …...

- Reggie helping muah

- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down

- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.

- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!

- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—

- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.

- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon

- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!

- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica

- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!

- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25

- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol

- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3

- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced

- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!

- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao

- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭

- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj

- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj

- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest

- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty

- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE

- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah

- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying

- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?

- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/

- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never

- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho

- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…

- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude

- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...

- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"

- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy

- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3

- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??

- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…

- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying

- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo

- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf

- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket

- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow

- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker

- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3

- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...

- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!

wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!

[queenismyprimejive]

This storm too shall pass – 80s! Roger Taylor x Fem! Reader – Part 3

Synopsis: After a huge fight with Roger, reader contemplates whether her relationship with Roger has any success at all. For her sake it has to, because the secret she’s been keeping from him will surely change the future for both of them. Luckily, Freddie is there to bring some calm after the storm.

W/C: 2,549 words

Perspective: You-perspective, reader-insert, use of Y/N. I plan on putting this in each of my future fics, just because I tend to switch between the two perspectives in writing.

Warnings: Nothing really serious. Some swearwords mentions of implied miscarriage, pregnancy and birth. Overall fluff, drama, angst, the usual.

A/N: None.

Tagging:

@joeneslee​

@hodgepodge-of-rog​

@ceres27​

@queen-paladin​

@march-of-all-queens

@jennyggggrrr​

@rhapsodyrecs​

Part 1

Part 2

Roger looked at you with wide eyes, stunned in silence.

“Pregnant? Are you sure?”

You rolled your eyes as you caught yourself having a flashback to the night before, when Freddie had asked you the exact same question.

You swallowed as you looked up at him. You still weren’t sure how he was going to react, so you had to choose your words carefully.

You nodded silently, “yes Roger I’m sure, Freddie and Jim took me to the doctor’s this morning.”

Roger looked at you with a set jaw and you knew he was about to lash out, but you couldn’t begin to ask yourself why. If anyone were supposed to be angry it would be you.

“So how come Freddie got to know before I did?”, he asked between clenched teeth.

You were quickly becoming agitated with him. “As I recall, you were the one who started the fight, you were the one to storm out, apparently to some random club from which Brian and John had to drag you out, drunk of your ass and high on god knows what so yeah, Freddie was the first one I thought of to call. Can you blame me? And by the way, I’m glad I did, for he had a much better reaction to it thank you are having right now”.

You swallowed again, trying to will away the tears of frustration that were burning in your eyes. You were desperately hoping what Freddie said last night was right.

Roger ran a hand through his already unruly locks, something he did when he was feeling frustrated or uncomfortable, and started pacing through the living room.

“Well can you blame me for reaction like this YN? It’s not exactly light news you’re springing on me right now, how could this have happened anyways?”

“I think you of all people should know how babies are made Roger”, you contorted angrily, “two people are needed to make a baby you know.”

“Fuck, I know that too Y/N”, he said angrily, “but why now? You know we’re planning a European tour, having a baby thrown into the mix is not exactly convenient”.

“Do you think I don’t know that Rog? Do you think I fucking planned all this? Everything I’ve ever done, was for you, for you to have a career. But one way or another, I’m going to keep this baby, I’m not giving it up”.

The tears that you so desperately tried to hold back were not rolling down your cheeks, dripping on your lap. Of all the scenarios you had conjured up for this moment, this one right now didn’t come to mind.

Roger looked at you from where he was standing near the window, chest heaving. Neither of you knew how to continue from here.

“Roger….”, you started but he stopped you before you could say anything else.

“I’m scared Y/N”, he started, “scared of what happens next, scared that I cannot live up to be the father you want me to be, I mean, I never really had a great role model to begin with”.

His father was a topic he rarely talked about or wanted to talk about even, but what little you knew of him, you knew there wasn’t a lot of good.

“You think I’m not scared Rog, I’m bloody terrified, of everything. I’m scared of the future, how to raise this baby…I’m scared of us”.

As Roger turned around, you too could see the tears that were glistening in his eyes. He slowly sat back down on the couch and took your hands in his”.

“I don’t intend to break up with you Y/N, ever. It’s just…. my dad he… he wasn’t good to us, me, my mom, my sister, and I’m scared that if I look like him even a little I’d….”.

“Rog…. look at me”, you spoke softly, “you are not your father, you are your own person, and what he did to you was wrong, but this is the chance to get away from all that, to do better, as a father, as a person. Give this baby everything your father couldn’t and wouldn’t give you”.

You wiped a few stray tears away from his cheek. “The question is, are you ready for all that?”

Roger looked at you, smiling softly and then slowly nodded.

“I am Y/N, I’m so sorry love, I’ve been such a dick to you lately, can you forgive me?”

You grasped his hand in yours and pressed a small kiss to the back of his hand. “Of course, I am Rog, and I’m sorry too, should’ve told you what was on my mind sooner”.

He shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry about Y/N, but I promise that from now on I will step up my game, as your partner, and as a father”.

As he said that he placed his hand on your still flat stomach. That small gesture was all the confirmation you needed that he was going to be there for you and your baby.

“I love you so much Y/N”, he said, his voice sounded strained.

“Love you too Rog”, you whispered as you slowly pressed your lips against his.

Everything was going to be fine from now on.

 “Darling you are positively glowing”, Freddie exclaimed as you waltzed into the studio, Roger following close behind you.

“Fred that’s very sweet of you but I look like a bloated whale”, you said as you lowered yourself down onto the studio couch with a sigh.

“Can you believe it? 5 months pregnant and still looking as gorgeous as ever”, Roger smiled as he lovingly pecked your cheek.

“Rog you’re so full of shit sometimes”, you said quasi-annoyed yet amused, “you’re my boyfriend, you’re supposed to say that.”

“Rough night?”, Brian asked as you rubbed your aching belly.

“You have no idea”, you sighed, “the baby wouldn’t stop moving all night”.

“Taking after its father I presume?”, Brian replied.

“Oh, shut it”, Roger grumbled but knowing Roger he didn’t really mean it like that.

“Babe are you gonna be ok here while I record my drum bits?”, Roger asked as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

“Of course, Rog, I’ll be fine, I’ve got the guys to keep me company.

As Roger disappeared into the recording area you tried to shift around on the couch, but no matter how much you shifted around, you couldn’t find a position that was comfortable enough. Ever since you got up this morning you felt that something was off, that something bad was about to happen yet you didn’t know what it was.

Luckily, the deep tones of Roger’s drums somewhat kept your mind at ease.

You were tapping to the beat of Roger’s bass drum, losing yourself in the music as a short pang of pain in your lower belly caught you of guard.

“Fuck”, you hissed softly.

“Y/N are you ok?”, John asked softly as he looked up from whatever he was working on.

“I’m not sure….””, you trailed off, but you couldn’t finish your sentence as another pang followed, this one much more intense than the first one. You hissed again and pressed your hand against the sore spot. This time you had alerted the other guys in the room as well.

At the following pang you doubled over in pain and you couldn’t help but to let a few tears escape your eyes. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Y/N… you’re bleeding”, Brian said suddenly and as you looked down in horror you saw he was right. Blood seeped through your pants onto the couch and the floor at an alarming rate and fear clasped your heart at the thought of losing your baby.

“Y/N…”, Brian trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

“Please….”, you brought out, “get Roger…..something’s wrong”.

As Brian ran out of the room to fetch Roger, Freddie sat down next to you, rubbing your shoulder in an attempt to calm you down.

“Don’t worry Y/N”, Freddie started, “John is calling an ambulance as we speak, help is on it’s way and then everything is going to be ok, you’ll see”.

Even though Freddie was doing his utmost best to comfort you it was to no avail. Your hands were shaking uncontrollably, your breath was heaving and with every stab of pain you felt more blood drip down your legs.

The door swung open and you looked up to seen an out-of-breath Roger, followed closely by Brian. He looked down at the ever growing pool of blood in horror and then up at you. Freddie moved away from his place on the couch to make room for Roger, who immediately grasped your hand, causing you to look up at him.

“Baby what’s going on, what’s wrong with the baby, why is there so much blood, why is…”.

You tried to catch your breath, but you were way past the panic stage right now. “Rog...I…..I don’t know…I….it hurts…it hurts so bad… and there’s so much blood…..”, you cried.

“I know love I know, I wish I could do something to make it better, but an ambulance is on its way to help you and our baby, it’s going to be ok I promise”.

As you looked up into his eyes you saw that his had tears in them as well. And you knew he could feel your pain.

You pressed your head into his chest, his scent always helped to calm you down. It didn’t help however with the ever so persistent dizziness that was threatening to overtake you.

“Rog…. I don’t feel so good”, you brought out. He held your face in his hands as you tried to blink to clear the blurriness in front of you.

“Baby stay with me here”, Roger pleaded. Your ears were ringing as you tried to focus on the sound of his voice, but it was far away, as if he was speaking through a thick cloud.

“Baby please… stay awake ok? Stay with me, the ambulance will be here soon, I promise… It will be all right baby ok? Just stay with me”

You tried to swallow but your tongue felt heavy in your mouth as you tried to speak. “Rog……the baby”, was all you managed to get out until everything before your eyes turned black.

If someone had told you 9 months ago that this would be the outcome today, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were tired, you were sore, but the overwhelming amount of love and happiness you felt looking down at your new-born daughter, made everything that had happened the past few months completely worthwhile.

“She’s so tiny”, Roger said in awe as he sat next to your hospital bed, softly stroking her head, and never taking his eyes off her.

You nodded with tears in your eyes. “Yes, she is”.

You had heard of the cliché that as soon as the baby was born, your motherly instinct would take over, that you would love and protect your child unconditionally. And as much has you hated that cliché; it was true.

“And as beautiful as her mom too”, Roger added and gasped as she grasped his finger in her tiny hand.

“Can you hold her for a little while Rog?”, you asked softly, “I need to go the bathroom really quick.

“Sure love”, he said as he carefully took her from you. “Are you going to be ok?”

“Yeah don’t worry I’ll be back in a bit.”

As you came back from the bathroom, you saw Roger standing near the window, cradling your new-born daughter in his arms, completely oblivious of your return.

You watched them from the door opening for a while and all of the sudden you were hit with an overwhelming bout of love for both your daughter and the man that was holding her.

“I think this is the first time she’s been completely quietly”, you spoke softly as you crawled back into bed.

Roger smiled softly as he sat back down in the chair, trying not to juggle her too much in the process. “Well what can I say she needed her daddy”.

“Unbelievable”, you chuckled, “only a couple of hours old and already a daddy’s girl”.

Roger grinned as he looked down at his little girl in his arms, “well I can’t help it, it’s the Taylor magic”.

You watched him silently for a while, hearing him whisper sweet nothings to her, occasionally pressing a soft kiss to her head.

“You’re going to be a good father Rog”, you said quietly as you softly touched his arm.

He looked up at you, all kinds of emotions written all over his face. “Thanks love”, he smiled but you could see the tears forming in his eyes.

“Are you going to be ok with everyone visiting this afternoon?”, Roger asked after a couple of minutes, “Fred’s been calling the ward for hours now, I think I almost regret giving him the number”.

You chuckled. “Yeah but not for too long, I’m still a bit tired”.

Roger nodded in agreement as he slowly handed her back to you. “I’ll give them all a call, I’ll be right back.

“Darling she’s absolutely gorgeous”, Freddie gushed at the tiny baby he was holding her o so carefully, as if he were scared he could harm her.

She had been passed around all the band members and their respective partners and was now laying soundly in Freddie’s arms, looking up at him with big eyes. You had talked with Roger about who would be the perfect godparents and now looking at Freddie, cooing at all the sounds your daughter was making, you knew you had made the right choice.

“Freddie, Jim, we have something very important to ask you”, you started.

Roger squeezed your hand reassuringly. Both Freddie and Jim perked up, waiting for what you were about to say.

You took a deep breath. “Would you two like to be her godfathers?”

“Oh, darling we would be honoured”, Freddie exclaimed and if you weren’t mistaken you could see a few tears gather in his eyes. “We will, won’t we Jim darling”, he asked as he looked up at his boyfriend, who nodded in confirmation and who too looked a little emotional.

“Do you hear that little one, I’m going to spoil you rotten”, he cooed at the little baby who was starting to get a little fussy in his arms, so Roger took her back from him in order to calm her down.

“Never could I have imagined Roger as a father”, Brian said in amusement as he watched Roger hush the little baby in his arms.

Roger stared at him in response, but you knew that right now he didn’t have it in him to be angry.

“I can”, you spoke softly as you lightly stroked Roger’s arm.

“So, does she have a name yet?”, Veronica asked curiously.

You looked up at Roger and he smiled and nodded, giving you the go-ahead.

“Her name will be Lily-Rose Taylor”, you announced proudly. You knew in your heart that that was the name that suited her best.

“Lily-Rose Taylor”, Roger whispered to the little girl sleeping soundly in his arms.

“Welcome to the family”.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Preview: Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Nine

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.

.

.

“Because you just think I’m trying to compete against you.” I say sharply to Tansy.

“No, in order for you to ‘compete’, you’d have to do what I do, as good as I do it, and you didn’t.”

“Oh, I think I did or else you wouldn’t be as upset over it as you are." I hiss back. 

"Seriously, can you not get into this right now?" Axl asks us, the guys awkwardly keeping their mouths shut, and me and Tansy ignore him. 

"No, Vivian, you're not competing with me, because there's no competition, because this is what I've been doing for a living the past six years. I'm sorry if you regret starting a life with Nikki because you never got to finish school and have your own identity and your own thing going for you--"

"--You think I regret starting my own life?" I ask her in disbelief.

"I think you regret not going to school and being a dancer like you'd planned, because all of us are living the dream we've had since we were kids, except for you, so you feel left behind." She clarifies. 

"Who the hell said I'm left behind? I'm still with you guys, I'm still here." I argue. 

"Yeah, as 'Nikki Sixx's wife' and 'Tansy Lyn's Friend', and that's why you posed because at least your actual name--you as an individual--would finally be on a fucking magazine, the only problem is you don't think it was worth it, now." 

"Girls--" I put my hand up, causing Slash to stop before he starts, and he shakes his head and lets out a breath. 

"--Are you sure I'm the one that thinks being plastered naked in a magazine isn't worth it? Who's the one so strung out she's completely projecting her bullshit on to her friend and belittling her to make herself feel like she's won?"

"Won what?! What's the fucking prize, Vivian?!"

"I'm outta here." Slash mumbles, not wanting to be around the bullshit drama, as I yell back:

"Attention, Tansy! Everybody knows the thing that drives you is attention and how other people view you! You're so jealous at the fact that, for onc, guys aren't focused on sweet, little, travel-sized-bed-bunny, Tansy, that you don't know how to fucking handle it! And modeling with your pussy and tits out isn't worth it to you anymore because, yes you've got money and fame and attention, but you are still so fucking unhappy! You're angry and envious because I'm content with the fact I'm naked in a magazine, and you're so sick with yourself for doing the same thing!"

"Viv, c'mon, now." Duff says lowly as he nudges me to cut it out, but I can't. I'm too pissed. 

"God, Vivian, you are so fucking privileged!" She starts laughing, tears in her eyes and I raise my brows. "I winded up modeling for these nude magazines because me and mama needed the fucking money! I never got my license because we couldn't afford a car for me so what the hell was the point?! Any 'spending' money was put towards pageants and cheer, and when I got the offer I took it and ran with it because I was tired of being fucking broke!" She yells and I roll my jaw. "You, however, did it just because you wanted to! And I know they gave you a lot of money for it and you're scared of Nikki not leaving you enough money to take care of yourself when you guys divorce--and I'm sorry for you, that sucks--but, Vivian, you didn't sign a prenup so half of his shit is going to you, anyway, and being that he's casually had checks of $600,000 chilling in his mailbox before, you're gonna be pretty fucking set for a while without having the extra $40,000! You are so fucking spoiled and you don't even realiz--"

"--I'm sorry, I'm what?!" I scream, taking a step closer to her, causing Axl to get a little closer as well. 

"Viv, seriously, please just leave it alone." Duff begs me and I disregard it as Tansy goes on. 

"You literally went from your dad buying you everything you fucking wanted, to Nikki buying you everything you fucking wanted, and you've never had to lift a finger to get any of it! All you had to do was ask your dad for whatever, and now all you've gotta do is give Nikki a blowjob and the world is yours!" 

"I don't recall asking my dad or Nikki for a fucking scholarship to Juilliard! I don't recall asking neither of them to fill in for me, dancing for eight fucking hours a day--on my fucking toes--for years, or study for me in all my classes so I could have a high GPA to get into a good school! I might not have a 'thing' right now, but I do know what hard work is and if you want to compare dancing and modeling, we sure as hell can because I assure you, Tansy, you're not where you are because you worked your ass off, you're where you are because you fucked all the right people and got to the top!"

"And so did you!" She exclaims, and Duff and Axl are pulling me off of her a few seconds after my nails are going for her throat.

"Fuck off!" Axl screams at me, getting us separated, standing in front of her to guard her as Duff's got my back against him, his long arms having a steel grip around me in case I try to go again. 

Tansy's only got a small, surface scratch over her neck.

"I might have my issues, Vivian, but anytime any of us act batshit crazy and just attack people it's because we're tripping on something and don't know what we're doing! You're so fucked up all on your own without needing anything to bring it out of you!" She yells. 

"I didn't start losing my temper and being 'crazy' until you and Nikki and Tommy and Vince decided to become raging drug addicts and alcoholics and then act like it's still all fun and games when two of you OD at least twice a fucking year!" I shriek back. "And I don't feel left behind, yet, but I will when you junkies finally shoot your last fucking cc, and I'm left to plan fucking funerals!" 

Her face falls at my words, realizing why I'm such a fucking wreck all the time. 

"I don't look at you and think 'model' and I don't look at the guys and think 'Mötley Crüe' because I just see fucked up morons who need help but refuse to fucking accept it, so congratulations, Tansy, at least you found your 'thing', I mean really, I'm so envious that I'm not a sloppy heroin addict, alcoholic, crackhead. You really do win." I finish, getting out of Duff's grasp, leaving and slamming the door behind me. 

"The fuck is your problem, Vivian?!" Axl barks, following after me and I ignore him, causing him to grab at my arm roughly, stopping me, and I whip around to face him, seeing Duff coming to us. 

"Leave me the fuck alone, Axl!" I warn him. 

"Or what?!You gonna hit me?! I wish to fuck you would, you crazy bitch, I'll have you laid out right here!" He cuts back. 

"Axl, man, leave her alone." Duff tells him, trying to be calm while he pulls him away from me but Axl sharply snatches away from him. 

I see Fred coming towards us from the corner of my eye, Slash and Doc following behind him.

Getting the timing perfect, the palm of my hand is smacking as hard as it can against Axl's cheek, and we're being pulled apart before he can hit me back, which I know he's planning on doing. 

[serenagaywaterford]

random thoughts:

jsyk, Serena swam in the place my dog poops. I hope Fred stepped in it. Die Fred.

(spoilers obvs)

NOT. ENOUGH. JANINE. the only time i cheered out the entire 3 episodes was that one glimpse of janine.

I got to see my girl Alma though which was lovely.

OMG. Can... I just... that scene with Emily walking through the hospital was the dumbest fucking, most American stupid scene ever on this show. It was so fucking cheesy and absolutely 10000% unrealistic. Who actually thought it was a good idea? They should be fired. Or sent to go work on Grey’s Anatomy or something. Not even that shitshow aka SVU would do something as painfully cliched and cheesy as that. Firstly, this show is fucking stupid. Okay. If all this shit was happening, Canada would have got like MILLIONS of refugees. Seeing the cops escort some raggedy refugee would be common af. Maybe it’s the baby thing? Still, Canadians aren’t gawkers like that. We also don’t like embarrassing displays like that. It’s so American it hurts.  NOBODY CLAPS LIKE THAT IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL. It’s a quiet place, okay. Also, why don’t any of these doctors have anything better to do? Anyway. I hated that scene so much.

Nick is so boring. So boring. He’s just a wet doughnut. I sorta liked him getting angry at June but also I wish I cared about anything he has to say. Bye Nick Bland. Good riddance.

Lawrence’s one liners? Funny. Lawrence? Disgusting awful psycho. I hate him sfm. 

Fred? Also disgusting. I hate him 10000x more. Everything about him is repulsive. He’s so much worse this season. I hate everything about his entitled, poor me, manpain. I hate hearing about any of his feelings. Fucking die already. I found him interesting enough as an antagonist in the show before but no longer. Redundant.

Beth. Too good for Nick. Too good for this world.

Too much staring. I AM SO SICK OF IT. It wastes time. Is redundant af at this point. I’m bored. Stop it.

Moss... um. Honey. I love you but... what the fuck was up with all the over-acting? 302 seemed particularly bad. Like I just can’t take it anymore. Who directed 302? They should be fired too for making her do that. Also, lady from Transparent, what the fuck was up with her acting?

Luke is useless. Like, I get it. I get why he’s a huge damp sulkbaby but I mean. I don’t want to see it? I’d rather just not see him at all cos literally I can’t recall a scene of him not being fucking useless or ignorant. Or half-assing it. I want to like Luke, honestly. But I just... don’t. I love the shit outta Moira and Erin, and I adored Moira/Emily interactions. But Luke? Miss me with his manpain.

Once again, I hate Lawrence. He is no good. He’s so fucking creepy and gross. I do not understand why people like him? And I don’t mean, “I don’t know why people like this character.” I mean, “I don’t understand why people like this person.” As a character, sure, he’s interesting and revolting and does his role well. He’s even got some funny lines and Whitford has great delivery. I mean these people who LIKE HIM. As a person. They think he’s great and a good guy. I don’t get it. Are we watching the same show? He’s a great character and a terrible person. That said, he’s still a dude and I’m not about to say he’s such a great character that I want to know all about him. Nah, bros. I wanna know all about Emily, Moira, Serena, Janine, Alma... and June I suppose but we already have quite enough of her. I don’t care about Lawrence’s backstory or emotional turmoil. I don’t need his perspective cos I’ve seen it before, I know it already. It’s in so many movies, books, and TV. So, he may be a well-written character but he’s not a fascinating one. If we wanna dig around in the psyches of bad people, Serena and Lydia are far more fascinating cos bad women’s stories are so much rarer to explore in any depth.

So, June got her feet lashed to shit again. And then she’s just walking around like no biggie next scene? Did the writers forget the first season when June couldn’t walk at all? All I’m asking is a bit of a limp?

June going straight to the house that just housed the handmaid that ran away with June’s baby seems... well, like complete bullshit. Never.

SERENA ISN’T WEARING HER WEDDING BAND. She’s done. She hates that man and I hate the fact everyone is pushing her to just get over it. Fred... is horrible in literally every single way. Every. Single. Way. (And sure Serena is horrible in some ways, but not nearly the same ways as Fred.) I just want Serena to be free of him. I want her and June to murder his ass. Graphically. That is the only violence I want to see on this show in the future. OMG, I can’t actually explain how much I hate him and I vomit in my mouth thinking about Serena having to get back with him. Even if I know she has to in order to survive. Ugh. 

UM. Okay, the “blood against the snow” bit was really interesting. I don’t recall Offred saying that in the book but Atwood brings it up often when talking about red. It was clever to include her own words, just like last season with the “men are afraid women will laugh at them...” bit.

But speaking of weird inclusions: Lawrence reciting book!Offred’s line about how easy is it to invent a humanity for anyone. It was curious they had Lawrence saying that to June, whereas it’s Offred in the book thinking that about the Commander.  “He was not a monster, to her. Probably he had some endearing trait: he whistled, offkey, in the shower, he had a yen for truffles, he called his dog Liebchen and made it sit up for little pieces of raw steak. How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation.”

My wife, when Nick showed up in 303: “Oh, this prick again!” Just out of nowhere cos we don’t talk about fandom shit. She has no idea the extent of my sick obsession with this show. She doesn’t know how much I loathe Nick lol. She’s completely casual and even she can’t stand Nick. Which is so lovely. And then when he was yapping about going to the front, she just muttered, “Hopefully he’ll die there.”

OH MY GOD. I HATE MEN. That whole Commanders meeting scene made me want to throw up multiple times. It started with the words “shipment of females” and just got progressively worse with every passing second.

Except... LMAO. June: *sees Fred at a meeting* Fred: Hello. June: Hey you see Serena? How’s Serena? Is Serena okay? Serena’s tough. She’s great. She’ll be okay. I love her. *proceeds to do the world’s worst cringe-inducing seduction* I think on some level even Fred knows it’s bullshit.

I love comparing June’s seduction of Fred to her seduction of Serena. They’re very interesting contrasts. She’s so painfully fake with Fred. And only sort of insincere at times with Serena. 

Man, Sylvia is a dick lol. LOOK RICHMOND IS HARD ENOUGH TO GET ACROSS WITHOUT YOUR LIME GREEN CAR BLOCKING THE ONE MOVING LANE OF TRAFFIC!!!!!! Jokes aside... I actually really liked that scene of Emily finally calling her. That was touching and the closest I came to actually getting sniffly.  Actually no. Traffic on Richmond is no joke. I’m not kidding. That was a dick move, Sylvia. LOL.

June saying Nichole gets her politicianess thing from Serena absolutely fucking slayed me. I don’t even care if she was emotionally manipulating her af, it seemed genuine in parts of that convo. TWO MOMMIES. June used her flashback!June voice at one point. Honestly, these two actresses run this town.  You can tell how broken Serena is tho cos she’s oblivious to how manipulative June is being. She’s been aware in the past as soon as June does her whole “Say nice thing, bond over babies, ask for something” method and called her on it. It’s June’s only trick. It’s transparent af. And Serena knows it. Yet, she seems completely wooed now and not at all suspicious. So, when she gets her wits together again, I suspect Serena won’t be so malleable.

I’ve said a bunch of stuff about June/Serena stuff in my tag rants so I won’t repeat it. I just fell in love with it all.

PRAISE BE!!! We didn’t actually have to see a Nick/June sex scene. Behold His miracle! I was so relieved. And then... curiously they continued that love-theme-y music all the way over into Serena’s scene with June and that was not a coincidence.

I know people really like that Boomtown Rats song being the music to the fire... And it’s a jam. But... it’s about a real school shooting and I feel like that’s just a little... off? (Not to mention Tori Amos’ version is better, imo.) I mean, okay, I did some drama courses in university and I did a thing about that song so I researched it all and it just to me doesn’t fit at all. A 16-year-old girl shot up an elementary school. And somehow, call me crazy, but that’s completely inappropriate to use in this scene. I get female rage, etc etc. I get they didn’t want to go super obvious and use a song about burning houses. But considering how EXCELLENT a song they chose for 3x03 with that Roy Harper track you’d think they’d find something better for the bed/house burning. Not only that but the motive for Spencer was ... literally nothing. She didn’t like Mondays and thought it would be fun to kill a bunch of kids--which is the complete opposite of Serena’s motivations. It just devalues it.

I want more of Emily’s journey. This is the first time I’ve actually been interested in Emily tbh. And Clea Duvall is a treasure.

I want a Moira/Emily BROTP. Honestly Moira just seems like the best friend anybody could have?

WHY IS NICK A COMMANDER?! WTF????? Was I just not listening carefully enough? Is he? Cos I don’t really pay attention when he’s onscreen tbh and the wifey was like “Why’s this guy a commander now?” And I was like, “What do you mean he’s a commander?” Honestly, Nick is just like a piece of furniture. I barely notice him onscreen lol. Okay, this has nothing to do with my dislike of him. It honestly does not make any sense. We saw that other Commander only got promoted because his wife got pregnant. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PROMOTE NICK? What on god’s green earth has he EVER fucking done well? Why the shitting hell would they promote a Guardian who, under his watch, has had one handmaid kill herself, another one escape/”get kidnapped”, wife cheat on him then get executed, allow a BABY to get kidnapped, the house get burned down????? All those things seem like Very Bad things and put all together seem like something that would put him on the Wall for being such a shitty employee rather than someone who deserves MORE responsibility. There’s literally no reason to make him a Commander. Just conscript him to the Chicago front. You don’t need a reason. He’s a grunt. Eye or not. I DO NOT GET IT. Fred gets demoted and Nick gets promoted? Nahhhhh mans. Not buying it.

So little Nick. I love it. I want zero Nick, but this’ll do. I’ll even put up with him being a Commander (LMAO) if it means he goes away for a while.

Lawrence calling out June’s terrible seduction technique (it is really bad), and calling Fred stupid = :} 

OK BACK TO THE BURNING WATERFORD HOUSE... i cannot abide how SLOW June is ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Like, she shows up in Serena’s little pyromaniacal bedroom inferno and is like “COME ON!” and pulls her out of the room in what appears to be a hurry. Then as Serena and Rita are rushing out June just fucking stops and starts staring at all the smoke as if she’s on fucking shrooms. Then there she goes on her bullshit... Hey, bish, the house is literally burning down cos your crazy ass soulmate set fire to her own life and maybe you should leave. No? Not interested? Sure, stand there. Feel up the walls like I did once on MDMA. Makes total fucking sense. TAKE YOUR TIME WHY DON’T YOU? Why not? It just reminded me of 2x13 when Rita was saying “You gotta leave NOW!” and June just took it upon herself to carve a bunch of shit onto the wall for no goddamn reason.

OKAY. I WAS RIGHT. The other night when I was like, “I think I know that beach.” I do know that beach!!! My dog likes to take dumps right where Serena was. (I clean up after him, don’t worry.) I can point out that beach on a map if you want. There are also heroin needles and ticks in the bushes. There is literally a water treatment plant 200m away. I go swimming exactly where Serena was and once a dead fish floated by and I had to wrestle my dog away from it. I have been swimming there a lot. It’s nice in the summer. HOWEVER, poor Yvonne in her drysuit doing that in fucking November or whatever. This lake is fucking cold even in summer sometimes lmao. Like, I’ve spent so many hours right in that spot... cos well, I used to live right up the road so duh. Of course now that I don’t live there now and it was winter so why would I take my dog swimming, that they decide to film there. OF COURSE.

Speaking of filming, not that anyone cares, they were at the St Lawrence Market at one point. It was so obvious. Wasn’t really paying attention to any of the other locales tbh. If I watch again and pay attention I prolly could pick out a few more but honestly the only person that entertains is myself.

I still can’t believe Serena was being reborn on dogshit/dead fish beach. 

[jercythesiscrying]

Five Flavours | Poly first-years, T, 1.3k

NaNoWriMo Day 30: Free Day Combo Shuffle Challenge, Social Media, and Dialogue-only fic.

Summary: Yet another collection of ficlets/drabbles featuring my favourite first years.

Rules: 1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like. 2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle. 3. Write a ficlet/drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards! 4. Do ten of these, and then post them.

TW: Canon-typical anxiety.

Read on Ao3

A/N: Decided to go with another Shuffle Challenge because I will single-handedly resurrect this meme. Apparently, I will also fill the first-years OT5 tag loooool. Un-beta’d once again and it very much shows  /o\

Gold Rays – Vinyl Pinups

They go to the beach the first chance they all get. Summer heat beats down on everything, water glinting under the sunlight.

Hitoka brings swimming tubes for her and Tobio because neither of them can swim. Kei teases Tobio endlessly about it but helps him out nonetheless when the three of them decide to go swimming.

Shouyou and Tadashi stay on the beach to build a giant sandcastle. The craftsmanship is clearly Tadashi’s doing, but Shouyou vehemently insists that he helped with the shovel work.

At the end of the day, Shouyou posts a photo on his account:

littlegiant.10 • 3 minutes ago perfect!!!

(Image: Shouyou, Tobio, Tadashi, and Kei surrounding a large sandcastle. Hitoka sits at the centre with her legs crossed. All of them beam wide at the camera.)

55 likes

Cough Syrup – Young the Giant

Kei catches the flu because his partners are awful and spread the infection to him. He stays home from classes one day because his head cold is so bad he can’t see straight.

He lies in bed for the majority of the day, sleeping underneath his bedsheets sweaty and uncomfortable, but what other choice does he have? He can barely sit up straight, much less move around like he’d much rather be doing. Akiteru would probably drag him back to bed if he tried anyway.

He stirs up from his nap at some point, awakening to see four pairs of eyes blinking down at him. Their faces are hidden by medical masks, so their eyes are really all he sees in his fever induced haze.

“Kei-kun?” a sweet voice says. “Are you okay?”

He coughs, which seems to be answer enough for all of them.

“We brought cough syrup, Tsukki!”

“It’s on the bedside.”

“Sorry for getting you sick, I guess.”

Kei can’t distinguish the voices from each other, but he returns to sleep with the familiar, comforting sounds of his favourite people in the world.

Boy Without A Heart – Jojo

Kei is much colder than Hitoka ever realized.

Everyone warns her, that she missed the awful time when they all first began playing together and Kei was the most infuriating person they’d ever met, that by the time she came around he dialled down his angst and snark. Tadashi tries to defend him, of course, but eventually even his protests are silenced by the others.

“Yachi,” Tobio says gravely, “are you sure you want to date him too?”

“Yeah, we’re happy with Yamaguchi already,” Shouyou says.

Kei rolls his eyes, walking out the room. Hitoka takes this as her cue to follow him. She walks out the door, sprinting to catch up to Kei.

“Kei-kun!” she calls out. “Kei-kun, wait!”

He doesn’t listen, continuing to walk away. When he turns the corner without a word, Hitoka stops, slightly shocked. He’s never ignored her before.

“Told you,” Tobio says behind her, and she turns around to she see both her boyfriends catching up to her.

“He just...” Tadashi begins, struggling. “Needs time.”

Hitoka bites her lip, unable to help herself when she stares back down the path where Kei disappeared.

Love Story – Taylor Swift

Their love isn’t forbidden like in fairy tales, or romance dramas, or the cheesy light novels they all know Kei likes to read sometimes.

The five of them grappled with their feelings for a long time before they ever came to any sort of understanding, even longer until they achieved the comfortable relationship they have now. First, there were boundaries. Then, there was the fact that Kei, Shouyou and Tobio usually wanted to tear each other’s heads off if they had the chance. And, of course, Hitoka and Tadashi had their anxiety to deal with. It was a huge mess until they sorted everything out.

They couldn’t even consider the larger picture about how everyone else would feel about them, too caught up in their emotions about each other to care about what society would say. But they each knew they wanted this, were willing to put up with whatever came their way as long as they got to do it together.

The day their landlord handed them the keys to their own place—a huge apartment that could fit all five of them, their first ever home—they celebrated with a quiet night in.

Reading Letters – P.S. I Love You Soundtrack

Hitoka opens her old high school notebooks, reading letters she both wrote and received.

Bittersweet nostalgia hits her like a wave, and she smiles through her tears when she finally reaches the last page:

A photograph of all five of them.

Pretend (Reprise) – Lights

Some days, the anxiety wins.

They each handle those days differently. Shouyou and Tadashi prefer to have the others doting on them with sympathy. Tobio and Kei prefer to seclude themselves so they could sort through their feelings first, careful because they don’t want to hurt their partners in their angst. Hitoka prefers a little bit of both.

At the end of the day though, all of them want their lovers close by so they could welcome a better tomorrow together.

BG Låten [8-bit Remix] – Spelling Phailer

Shouyou naively announces having a video game competition, so Kei easily hands the other boys’ asses to them. They all knew that Kei was better than Tadashi, and infinitely better than both Tobio and Shouyou.

Hitoka was a true dark horse.

“I, um,” she squeaks, cheeks flushed red when she sees everyone’s jaws hanging, “I like to play on my phone sometimes? And I’m comfortable with consoles since I do computer stuff a lot.”

“You beat me.” Kei’s tone easily conveys his shock.

“AMAZING, YACCHAN!” Shouyou yells, jumping onto her.

The others follow him, piling on top of their girlfriend in a giant heap. She giggles, delighted to accept their congratulations.

Sour Candy – Carly Rae Jepsen ft. Josh Ramsay

Kiyoko loved Hitoka.

Hitoka was passionate and eager, anxious but headstrong. After she first recruited Hitoka, the younger girl hung onto Kiyoko’s every word like she hung the stars. Kiyoko loved watching her grow and appreciate the sport, fall in love with the team and their camaraderie.

She didn’t expect that Hitoka falls for the team in a romantic sense too.

She and Hitoka tried to make things work after Kiyoko’s graduation, but they both knew the distance was too hard for them. Their relationship ended amicably, and though it hurt Kiyoko so much more than she could have ever anticipated, she knew that Hitoka was in good hands.

She watches in the distance when the five of them pass by—hands and arms happily clasped onto one another—and smiles.

Otter Pop – Shawn Wasabi

“Here you go: popsicles! Blue for Tobio, orange for Shouyou, lemon for Hitoka, strawberry for Tsukki.”

“Thanks, Tadashi-kun!”

“F’ank yhew!”

“Thanks.”

“Mm.”

“Ah, so refreshing!”

(grin)

“Tadashi-kun, are you gonna eat yours?”

“Oh, yes!”

“What flavour did you get?”

“Melon.”

“Aw, lemme try!”

“Okay, just don’t get your slobber over it.”

“I won’t!”

“He will.”

“Shut up, Tobio!”

“Guys, can we just enjoy ourselves, please?”

(sigh)

“Apparently not without a fight.”

Best Starships Ever (Nicki Minaj vs 1D) – Remix by Mikolo Mashups

They go to the beach after graduation, inviting the entire volleyball team to celebrate the end of the year as well as wishing the third-years goodbye.

Shouyou and Tobio are in charge of games and music, Tadashi and Kei in charge of food and drinks, and Hitoka covers all planning and decorating. The first- and second-years offer to pitch in with the prep but the five of them insist on doing this for the rest of the team.

They have a wonderful time by the sea, getting sunburnt under the sky, salt and sand lingering on their skin after playing in the water. They stay until well into the night, lighting up a bonfire at Shouyou’s request.

Portable speakers blast the best pop songs of the year, and they dance around the flames with laughter and smiles on their lips.

(More notes on Ao3.)

[thorne93]

Old Flame, New Problems (Part 8)

Prompt: You’re in a serious relationship with Sebastian Stan, when news from your first love informs you that he’s now single and in need of a friend. Will your old flame burn out or will the flames get fanned and consume you?

Word Count: 3695

Warning: language, angst, fighting (verbal), cheating, drama

Notes: This idea came to me when news hit about Hayden and Rachel splitting. Of course I’m sad that a long time relationship such as theirs is ending, but it also means he’s single sooo…Also, no hate towards Rachel. I don’t know her, don’t know what really happened between them, etc. It’s a fic and in no way reflects what I think of either of them or their precious daughter ^.^

Beta’d by my #1 gal @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock @lenawiinchester @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @memory-of-a-goldfish @mellsstark

Old Flame Tag: @blackwidow-romanoff @seargantbcky  @crazybutconfidentaf

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sebastian was only gone for a few more days. He returned on schedule. You made sure to tell Hayden to not come over that day, seeing as you didn’t want to make things worse with Sebastian. It was one thing to hang out, and prove your loyalty, it was another for a man to come home to the ex and girlfriend hanging out.

When he got in the door, the tension was there, but you were ready to play nice.

“Is he here?” he asked. He had been asking that everyday since you told him he was in the city. You were always honest and would tell him where you were and what you were doing. Most of the time the answer was “Watching blah and sitting on the couch.”

You shook your head. “No. I thought we should talk.”

“Yeah...me too,” he agreed.

Both of you started to talk at the same time before soft smiles graced both of your faces.

“You first,” you offered.

“No, I’d like to hear you first,” he countered, his voice a little firm.

“Fair enough. I’m sorry for my reaction. I’m sorry for yet again springing Hayden into our life. It puts you in a bad situation and I understand that. In this case, he really did surprise me at the book signing and I missed him. I wanted to hang out as friends. I thought it would be fun. But when you started to accuse me and say things that made me feel like you didn’t trust me…I guess I got mad, because Sebastian, it wasn’t Hayden’s fault. If I was in a similar situation with a stranger, no, nothing would’ve happened. But the dangerous mix of you ignoring me and Hayden and my’s past....I’m just saying, you can’t hold this all against me as if I’m the only one who fucked up.”

He waited a moment, nodding as he leaned against the counter.

“I get that. I know. I know I helped push you to him. That’s what scared me. I was out of state, yet again, for work, and he came back around. This isn’t about him. This is about us. I just...I need to know that every time I leave for work, that no matter who comes by to visit or who needs you to visit them, that the distance between us isn’t going to sway you.”

“It won’t, but you have to remember it wasn’t just distance. It was the fact that you hadn’t touched me for two weeks when you got home. Or how you barely pay attention to me when you’re here. Usually you’re on your cell phone or Instagram. Or if you’re working and you call me, you can’t even give me your undivided attention.” You sighed and put your hands through your hair. “I’m not asking for a lot, here Seb, just...meeting me in the middle. I don’t mind doing all the stuff I do for you, for us, for our relationship...but when you start to treat me like the bothersome maid….well it hurts…” you admitted, tears threatening suddenly, and you had no idea you were even close to crying, but you realized you hadn’t fully disclosed to Seb all the reasons why you’d been pissed off at him or betrayed him. You simply told him he was becoming distant.

“Do you get now why I didn’t want him around?” he suddenly asked, his tone calm.

You shook your head slightly, not understanding his train of thought.

“I was fucking up. I knew it. I could tell it. I was hoping when I got back from the filming, I could reconcile it. Fix everything I had started to fuck up. I wasn’t having sex with you because I was exhausted, for that, I’m sorry. I should’ve tried harder or made sure you knew it wasn’t you. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not boyfriend of the year, no surprise there. But by the time I got the energy up to start working on us, you were out the door. I was terrified while you were gone that you’d just say the last six months weren’t worth it and you’d leave me for good. So when you told me about the kiss, that didn’t help. I thought you were falling back in love with him.” He stopped for a moment, catching his breath. His words slowly sinking in for you. “Then it happened all over again when he showed up randomly in the city, and I’m as far away from this city as I can get, and he’s here. Now you tell me, who would anyone else pick? The guy that’s always there or the guy that’s off at a new city every week? For most people, it’s a no brainer,” he stated, the heartbreak in his eyes.

“That’s why I didn’t want him around. He’s a reminder of what you want. He’s a reminder that I’m not good enough. I may not read all your stories as fast as he does. I may not get all of your writing the way he does. I may not always be here. But I can’t be a better me, until you stop comparing me to him. If it’s not fair for me to bring up your fuck up, then you can’t bring up mine. We decided long ago we were even…”

“So...all of this because you’re insecure?” you asked, a bit of a teasing tone coming into your voice as you slowly walked over to him.

“Well...yeah....It’s not so much him, as it is...me...ya know?” he said, looking ashamed.

Finally you reached him and you wrapped your arms around his waist. He had mentioned his insecurities a few times regarding Hayden, but you thought it was just a way of saying he was jealous of him. You had no idea Sebastian Stan would ever feel inadequate in any regard.

“Sebastian,” you sighed before kissing him sweetly. “I love you. Yes, we’re having a rough patch. Do I wish you were here more? Yes, but that’s your job. All I want is a little more effort to show you care...to show I’m on your mind. That’s all. I don’t need a parade or daily or even weekly flowers...But just some sort of sign that I even cross your mind. Something other than a half-assed distracted phone call on lunch.”

He laughed and gave you half smile, his arms now wrapping around you.

“Also, you’re more than good enough, Sebastian. I love you, I just want the man I started to date a year ago back. I want the man who surprised me with pizza on his way home. I want the man who gave me random foot rubs after cleaning the house all day. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” he quietly mumbled as you peered up at him.

“Good. I love you,” you said, kissing his chin.

“I love you too.”

“So...no more being jealous of Hayden, right?” you clarified.

“Right.”

“Even if you screw up majorly, Seb, I’m not gonna betray you. Okay? We’ve worked too hard for this, and I won’t mess it up again. Our issue, our problem, no one else involved.”

“Good,” he mused before kissing you, the feeling putting you at ease and peace.

“Now that that’s out of the way…” you said.

“Oh no, I know that tone and that face. You’re scheming,” he recognized with a mischievous grin of his own.

“I was wondering,” you continued, ignoring his comment, “if we could have a Halloween party.”

“A Halloween party? Really? Why?”

“Because I haven’t really seen any friends in a long time...It would be a nice break from all the work stress and our problems and everything,” you rambled. You stepped over to the kitchen to start making dinner. “Besides, Halloween is my second favorite holiday.”

“And that’s why I love you,” he said before his arms went around you and he kissed the side of your head. “Sure. Let’s have a party.”

“Really?” you asked, nearly squealing.

“Well yeah, why not? Parties are fun as hell! Especially yours. People still talk about New Year's Eve last year,” he mentioned.

You laughed loudly at the memory. The party got so crazy that night, the cops were called and you had convinced them to let you keep the party going. It was still rolling until 7 AM, and bodies, confetti, and colorful hats were strewn everywhere.

“Yeah that was a blast. So I’m thinking party platters…” you began, going into party planning full swing. Decorations, food, desserts, and games already dancing through your head, excited to share the ideas with Seb.

--------------------------

The invites went out for the party, which were hand made, in just under two weeks. You had already gathered all the decorations and things you needed for the party and had actually decorated some of it. Having all the decorations out and getting into the fall and Halloween spirit made you feel wonderful, and it was a nice break from work. Sebastian even came home a few times and began helping with it, without you asking, which was nice and showed progress on his part that didn’t go unnoticed.

In the meantime, between planning the party and normal every day life, you kept talking with Hayden. He was rather busy with filming though, so he only texted or called at night. You wanted him to come by the apartment, but typically Seb was there, and for now, you would try to keep those two separate. That was...until you had decided to ask Hayden to the party.

“So...I was thinking,” you said, sitting next to Seb at the breakfast bar, eating a plate of alfredo pasta you’d made.

“Uh oh, that’s never good,” Seb responded, still looking at his script.

“Don’t be a dick,” you deadpanned, but smiled nonetheless. “What would you think of me inviting Hayden for the party?”

Sebastian stiffened for a moment then laid the script on the counter to turn to face you. “You think that’s such a good idea?”

Your eyes darted away from his as you gently shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s my friend and I’d like him there. We’ve hardly got to see each other since he’s been in the city...It’d be nice to see him at the party. Between what he’s going through and everything,I just thought he shouldn’t be alone... And we’ll be completely surrounded by everyone and--”

Seb held up a hand to stop you. “Y/N, we’ve been through this. I trust you. I don’t care if you’re alone all night in a bed together, I trust you to not do anything. If you want to invite him, go ahead, he’s your friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

--------------------------

Tonight was finally the party. You decided to dress up as Mad Alice, a combination of the Mad Hatter and Alice. Ironic, since you were dating someone who played the mad hatter, but you couldn’t help that you had adored the character since you were little. Sebastian dressed up as a mobster

The streamers, decorations, fog machines, black lights, and strobe lights were going and your apartment had been completely transformed from a normal Manhattan apartment to an eerie, creepy space. It even had you on edge that something was going to jump out. Halloween tunes, ranging from Monster Mash and classics alike to Misfits were playing through the space thanks to a sound system you had purchased and had set up. Food from just normal chicken nuggets, to decked out spooky treats were all laid out in your kitchen, with punches, cokes, and liquor laid out. You had stations for games setup, with an adult twist. Most of the time it meant if you lost or didn’t win, it meant a shot of liquor.

Guests had started to file in about thirty minutes ago. Chris Evans and Mackie were there. Chris was a zombie groom and Mackie came as a pirate. Soon after, more Marvel stars and other close friends of Sebastian’s came in, each in a cool costume. A few of your writer friends had shown up, friends in the building, and then eventually Chace showed up, with a cute girl on his arm.

“Chace!” you cheered when you opened the door. “What...what are you supposed to be?” you asked, eyeing his outfit.

“I’m Dracula,” he said as if it was obvious, disappointment in his voice.

“Oh! Right with the blood and stuff...You could be any old vampire. I told you to come as a witch,” you teased.

Chace made a face. “We swore we would never talk of that movie,” he said with a grin as he pointed at you, a small laugh coming out of him.

“No, you and Seb said that, not me. I won’t let you live it down because I love it,” you assured. “But who is this lovely Bride of Dracula on your arm?” you demanded.

“Y/N, this is Ida, Ida, this is Y/N,” he introduced.

“Oh...my...god,” she gaped. “I’ve read all of your books. I wanted to come to one of your book signings but I couldn’t get the time. Your stories are amazing. I love your work. I am a huge fan,” she gushed, looking absolutely sweet.

“Awww, well thank you so much. Always fabulous to meet a fan. How did you two meet?”

“Ran into each other getting Thai food. Our orders got mixed up, we got to talking...and hit things off,” he informed.

“That’s so sweet. It is so nice to meet you. Chace here is a really good guy,” you stated, your hand resting on his arm.

The three of you chit chatted a bit more before you showed them to the food and drinks and they got lost in the mix of the party. The party was going well, just about everyone was buzzed, participating in games, dancing, having a good time. But at an hour and a half into the party, and no sign of Hayden, you were feeling pretty down. You knew his anxiety kept him from going to a lot of events, you just thought this would be different, since it was you. Perhaps not even you could pull him from his hiding in his hotel though.

You started to not feel like mingling as much with the guests and stole away to the master bathroom, the farthest room from the party, and thus the quietest. You used the bathroom, then just sat in there, playing with your makeup, fidgeting with your outfit. The crushing feeling you had felt unwelcome. So your friend didn’t show up? Big deal. But...it was about so much more than being a friend that showed up for a Halloween party.

A knock came to the door.

‘Y/N, you in there?” Sebastian’s voice sounded through the door.

“Yeah,” you called back.

He opened the door and came in, shutting it behind him.

“You okay? Are you sick?” he asked, worried, as he got closer to you, his hands gently resting on your arms as his eyes assessed you.

You shook your head. “No, I’m fine. I just needed a minute alone,” you said, looking away.

“What is it?” he asked. “I know that look.”

You shrugged, not exactly wanting to divulge this.

“It’s about him, isn’t it?’ he asked, a mingle of disappointment and knowing and understanding in his voice. You nodded sheepishly. “He’ll show,” he promised with a smile. “But you can’t hide out in here from your other guests. They all really want to see you,” he said.

Again, you nodded. “You’re right. I just needed a sec to myself.”

“Understood. You ready to go back out there?” he asked, offering his hand and a stunning smile.

“Yeah.”

You took his hand and went back out to the party, talking to a few of your writer friends. About ten more minutes passed and you heard someone at your door. You excused yourself, pulled open the door, and before you stood the man you wanted to see.

“You came,” you breathed.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late, I was wrapping up a scene today and I got out late. Had to rush to the hotel to change,” he said, looking down at his ensemble.

A light came to your heart and face, knowing he wasn’t blowing you off. “Oh, no, yeah, of course. No problem. Come in, come in.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the apartment. “So you’re the...grim reaper?” you asked, assessing his outfit.

“In the dead flesh,” he said, a half smile coming onto his face. You grinned at him in response. “And you’re Alice…?”

“Mad Alice,” you corrected, gesturing to your top hat.

“Oh, my mistake,” he said with a slight bow and laugh.

“All is forgiven. Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Good.”

After showing him to some food and drinks, the two of you pretty much stole away to different corners of the party, becoming onlookers. Luckily, no one in your circle knew about Hayden and you recently. They knew you all had dated before, they knew he was single now, but only Chace knew about any sort of problems involving Hayden as of late. The two of you talked, the easy conversation flowing as you held an orange solo cup, sipping on some punch. He nearly had you in stitches telling you of his filming mishaps. It was pretty much a known fact Hayden wasn’t the most graceful guy when it came to him filming.

Sebastian eventually made his way over to you two, a smile on his incredibly handsome face.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted with a kiss on the cheek, handing you a drink. “Brought you your favorite, gin and tonic on the rocks.”

Hayden frowned at the two of you.

“Her favorite drink is a cosmo,” he retorted lightly.

You pursed your lips and turned to face him. “Uh, no, Hay, gin and tonic is. Has been for about eight years now.”

The two of you stared at each other an awkward amount of time before he slightly laughed and said, “Next thing you’re gonna tell me you don’t like white chocolate.”

“She doesn’t,” Seb said with beaming confidence as his hand snaked around your waist. “She hates the stuff, ever since she had that one bad Nestle bar.”

Hayden eyed you curiously. “Well...Seems as though you’ve changed.”

You simply nodded.

A little bit later, the three of you had been talking, surprisingly civilly, someone informed you that you were all out of trail mix and a couple of drinks. You excused yourself to go replenish the goods. As soon as you were gone, things turned visceral between the two actors. Hayden’s presence was known as he inched closer to Sebastian and spoke to him.

“Hey, man,” he started.

Sebastian’s gaze drifted up to see where the greeting had come from. “Yeah?” he said, trying to keep things calm, his eyes shifting to look back over the crowd.

“Listen, I want to thank you for forgiving me and Y/N,” Hayden stated.

Sebastian’s eyes flashed back to his guest. “Make no mistake, I forgave her, not you,” he informed in a low, hard voice.

Hayden’s jaw clenched. “Well, be that as it may, you may want to get her flowers and a book, that always cheered her up when I fucked up,” he informed.

Sebastian turned to him, placing his drink down on the table. “I think she and I can work out our differences on our own. Thanks,” he said dismissively.

“Just trying to help,” Hayden offered.

“Well, excuse me if I don’t want to take advice from a guy who lost her once. Not to mention just losing the mother of his child. You’re not exactly a pro at dating advice, huh, ace?” he spat.

Hayden quirked one eyebrow up. “Is that why she made out with me on my couch?” he countered.

Sebastian’s eyes gleamed darkly. “Fuck off.”

“What’s wrong? Can’t take the fact that you weren’t good enough for her?” he challenged.

“You know what? You know why I forgave her?” he asked, getting in Hayden’s face. “Because she couldn’t help it. She still cares for you, she’s had trouble moving on, I understood that. Shit happens when two people who loved each other are alone. She and I were having troubles and she wasn’t thinking straight. You on the other hand, you took advantage of her.”

“What?” Hayden questioned, the idea sounding absurd.

“Yeah, she confided in you, needed a friend, just like you needed a friend for fucking up your relationship, and you took advantage of it. You took the feelings she had for you and twisted it so you could make yourself feel better.”

“You’re insane, do you know that?” Hayden responded.

“Maybe I am, but I know it didn’t work. She stopped it and she’s with me, so you can back off.”

“I’ll back off when you can keep her at home with you,” he purred with a wicked smile.

Sebastian was about to hit Hayden as he turned to leave but Chace ran up and grabbed his arm.

“No, man, no. Let it go,” Chace urged. “It’s not worth it. Come on.”

Sebastian lowered his arm and glared at Hayden. Hayden scoffed and went over to tell you goodbye. He came up and put his hand on your lower back, and leaned down to talk to you clearly, over the music.

“Hey, I’m gonna go,” he informed.

You stopped what you were doing and turned to look at him, your hand resting on his forearm that had previously been on your back.

“What? No! You just got here,” you protested.

“I’m tired and I’m a little mentally exhausted,” he informed. You knew exactly what that meant: his anxiety was acting up.

“Okay, yeah, no problem. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely. Thank you for the fun night,” he said before leaning down to kiss your cheek, the sensation searing your skin.

Sebastian looked on with a rageful glare.

[child-of-hurin]

I was tagged by @vardasvapors on this 11 questions meme. It turned into a monster because I talk  A LOT hahahaha

At the bottom you have 11 mre questions for the people I tag :)

1. What is the best breakfast you ever had?

The most passable tea you can imagine, but in the company of my girlfriend /)///(\ 

2. What was your favorite book when you were 13 years old?

That year I purchased a book called Alai’s “Red Poppies” just because the cover was really pretty, and I def judge a book by its cover! And rightly so because it turned into a lifetime favorite. It’s a book about this feudal tibetan family when the cultivation of poppies (for the production of opium) is introduced there, and it’s extremely captivating, and different from anything I’ve read. It’s a very delicate subject matter and I have no idea how historically accurate everything is... the fact that this author is apparently very respected in China, despite being of Tibetan descent himself, should make one very weary I guess, but the chinese don’t actually come out looking good at all in the story (and neither do the tibetan feudal system as a whole, for that matter ;p). So... it might be irresponsible of me to rec the book, but... I do hahaha. I remember all the colors and characters and scenes very vividly. Actually, now I kinda want to read it again...

3. Describe your ideal fic (one that you do not have to write)

MY IDEAL FIC! It’s an epic longfic about family/court drama in the times of Tar-Palantir, or an episodical multichapter of elvish characters in Doriath interacting with the many mortals that pass there through the ages (dwarves included)

Or anything Túrin/Nienor, really. AUs included.

4. Describe a fanart you would like to see

I literally have a list of art i wanna make hahaha sob... Hm,  I’m going to go with this image I have in my head of this scene in Balar, where a ragged Oropher is holding baby Elwing in his arm while Círdan looks at them in disbelief, his body language suggesting he is approaching them... the light of the nauglamir illuminates the scene drawing the attention to Elwing ofc :) Oropher being the one to bring Elwing safely to Balar is just my headcanon, of course.

5. State 1-3 opinions on cheese

1. I love it 

2. even/especially the nasty smelling ones... I could live on cheese

3. truly the thing i miss the most about living in France, that and the museums

6. Describe your most recent public or mass transportation experience

A lady sat next to me and said the driver was a real turtle, driving way too slowly for her taste.

7. Without checking to see if it’s correct, type something you have memorized (a line of poetry, a lyric, an equation) (yes i’m just straight up stealing this from june)

I’m in a children’s song mood so:

Quem me ensinou a nadar, quem me ensinou a nadar Foi, foi, marinheiro, foi os peixinhos do mar Ei nós, que viemos de outras terras, de outro mar? Temos pólvora, chumbo e bala, nós queremos é guerrear

8. A random headcanon for anything

Hopefully it won’t be too disappointing hearing me talking about elves :S but I’ve been thinking about my old Teleri headcanons lately thanks to the eclipse hahaha, so, okay

First of all, I am always thinking about how the creation of the Sun and the Moon affect the Teleri, they who loved the stars and chose to dwell far from the trees and all. It completely changes their notion of time, and I like to think that society takes a long time to adapt, and even now you have Teleri who would rather sleep during the day, and Teleri who would chance their sleeping cycles often for not being able to decided what kind of light their prefer, etc...

Then, I’m sure Kinslaying is a pretty big deal in these people’s history and collective memory; and yet, how would they remember it? It feels like a big enough deal that they would tell the young kids about it and commemorate it together, somehow. The Kinslaying happened during the time od Darkness which is kind of a no-time, like a void of time between the light of the trees and the creation of the sun and the moon... It got me thinking that maybe the Teleri associate the eclipse with the Kinslaying, then: a brief time of darkness that exists outside ‘time’, in a way... and that’s when they ‘ritualize’ their collective memory of the event. I haven’t thought about the details of what exactly happens, and it also depends on whether eclipses in Middle Earth are predictable or not, but I imagine they gather together in groups and everyone stops singing for a moment... or they sing something together, or only olwe sings? There are many possibilities :)

9. What’s the nearest piece of art to wherever you are sitting right now (interpret as broadly as you wish)

My beloved friend @arvore is an artist, and this is one of his pieces :) the bedroom is already cluttered with hangings and the only space I have for it is right behind my computer - which is fine because it means i am always looking at it ^^ (but it def deserves a more prestigious place)

10. A dumb opinion you used to have

Used to dislike the Valar, and Thingol

11. Freestyle here about a really good story (of any type) you recently read

Ugh I’ve been being bad abt books lately, but the last book I finished was The Bloody Chamber, which is a collection of short stories. My favorite one was the one that gives the title to the collection. It has Bluebeard elements but I was really in love with the ending, and.... I have to say, I dig long ass paragraphs with lots of commas hahahahaha. Also I’m a very visual reader, and this author is SUPER visual. I also really liked the Erlking, because faes are so goooooood and I loved the ending, too :) They’re all very atmospheric and goth-romantic so you have to be in a particular mood to appreciate it, I guess, but I liked most of the stories well enough.

Trying to tag people who haven’t been tagged already.... I’m guessing @heckofabecca, @anghraine @housecreepy, @yavieriel, @theotherwesley, @sabotensan, @swampdiamonds @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly, @sqbr, @ncfan-1, @veliseraptor, @windandwater @thrumbolt @squirrelwrangler @mygoodrabbit ... if you guys feel like it, ofc :) Also, if anyone else wants to answer these questions and I haven’t tagged them, feel free to do it anyway and tag me so I can see the answers!

My questions are: 

1. What was the last picture you took with your phone/camera that you liked? Can you post it?

2. What's the last meme you enjoyed, and a meme you can't stand?

3. Give me a song and what it makes you think of, or what you like about it

4. The last time you were pleasantly surprised

5. A physical book you have and love as an item

6. Your phone's bg and/or lockscreen?

7. I know I always ask this one, but is there a gif or reaction image you like but that you haven’t been able to use yet? If not, just give me your current favorite gif.

8. One thing you would change in your favorite media thing (book, movie, show, video game, etc)

9. A non-American movie you like 

10. You’re transported to the setting of the last fic you read. How screwed are you?

11. stealing this from VV but it’s a great question: what’s the nearest art thing to you rn?

(bonus question: what’s a fandom I have that you hate/blacklist/don’t get?)

[quaememinisse]

Title: At Best

Genre: Romance, Drama, Smut, Alternate Universe

Warnings: Violence

Relationship(s): Corey Taylor/OFC, OFC/OMC

Word Count: TBA

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: One fine summer, an up and coming drummer catches Corey’s eye.

Author’s note: Mature situations this chapter.

Previous chapter: 1 (<--Click there to read)

          Corey ends up not being at the signing, and Nanette assumes he must have gotten caught up doing an interview or taking pictures with some fans. She is over the moon for a while until she checks her phone halfway through the signing to find that Nolan texted her a handful of times. She doesn't read all of his texts, but they make it clear to her that he's not happy. She pictures him alone in his apartment and this makes her start to feel bad for enjoying herself. If only she could be there with him. To Nanette's surprise, Corey actually shows up out of what appears to be thin air, holding a large plastic cup of what she already knows is Bolthouse Farms carrot juice. He tucks a pair of darkly tinted sunglasses into the collar of his red t-shirt, grinning and holding the drink out in front of her. It takes a moment before she realizes he is offering it to her.

           "I was over at catering when I remembered that Lars told me how much you love this shit," he explains. She takes the cup from him, surprised by his random act of kindness; there's even a ton of ice in the drink. If Nanette doesn't know any better, she'd assume that Corey…is interested in her, in some way.

           "Thank you, Mr. Taylor," she says with a small nod. She had begun to start dying from the heat, anyway.

           "Mr. Taylor?" Corey throws his head back and laughs for a few seconds, causing Nanette to blush, but her tan makes it unnoticeable. Madden and Pinkerton cock their eyebrows at each other suggestively, something that Nanette pretends she doesn't notice, as she takes the most refreshing sip of carrot juice she's ever had. Corey's presence easily attracts more fans, and, probably to not look like assholes, more people end up asking for EPs and autographs than Nanette had initially predicted for the day. Her phone vibrates in her back pocket again, and she listens to Corey talking to Lars somewhere behind her as the tent is being disassembled. Nanette finds herself wishing that Nolan would just do something to make himself happier for at least fifteen minutes. When her phone continues ringing, she sighs and tries to answer it, but due to the loudness of the music coming from other stages in the distance, she can't make out a word Nolan says.

           She sighs, looking as irritated as she feels, because she catches Corey glancing at her with some sort of interest that she knows means he really wants to ask her what's wrong. But instead, he continues talking with James and Lars while Nanette starts back to the bus to call her boyfriend so he'll stop texting.

           "Babe, I'm losin' it here," Nolan states, already sounding irritated when he picks up the phone.

           "(Sigh) Why? You got enough for rent this month?" she asks, trying to sound like the caring girlfriend that she has always been.

           "I just want to fix my Caddy already so I can sell it for the—"

           "I know, Nolan. I know you want that truck, but you have to just pay rent for now. Remember? We talked about it," Nanette interrupts. Nolan sighs, and she can tell that his patience is wearing thin.

           "So, your band's Facebook page is getting bigger every day. Seems like you must be having a lot of fun out there," he says. She wonders briefly whether he intends to guilt trip her.

           "It's hot, and I miss you," she says, pacing the aisle of the tour bus.

           "I miss you, too. I'm just so mad I can't be with you right now, doing the same shit, you know?" Every time they've spoken on the phone these past few weeks, it has been basically the same conversation. Nanette begins to wonder how much more she'll be able to take before flat out screaming at Nolan that his situation is unfortunate, but there's not much she can do to help him, that deep down, she feels insulted that he wouldn't just take the merch managing gig that her bandmates had offered him. He had too much pride to help her band out, even after all his shows she's been to, the promo photos she's taken for his music? Sometimes, she wonders whether Nolan can think about anyone but himself. Even so, she finds herself missing his towering height, green eyes, brunette man bun, and voice that she could listen to for hours on end, except when he's complaining about the same thing he complained about two days ago.

           "I wish you'd come back, to be honest. So we can just get married and pick a house like we planned, and start living like we want to for real, baby. It's gonna work after I sell my Cadillac, get my VA loan, and with all the money you'll make…" And Nanette gradually tunes him out, until he says goodbye—no "I love you" to speak of. She finds herself wanting him to be happy, and wanting to be happy with him, but the resentment is just unsettling, and she hasn't exactly figured out how to broach the issue. He had made the excuse of not being able to fly out to see any of her shows because of the rent situation, that he doesn't want her to come home to streets, and somehow, despite how realistically sensible, that just wasn't a good enough excuse, not after all the time she'd put into supporting him. He keeps saying he can't come, but he'll see everything on Facebook. It isn't the same.

           Nanette finds herself wiping her eyes, and the sound of the bus opening causes her to retreat to the small bathroom where she can hide for a bit and wipe her tears of frustration. When she has managed to calm herself down, she isn't surprised to find that Corey has decided to tag along on their bus for the trip to Utah. She stays out of the way of the men, sitting at the back of the bus with a copy of one of Nolan's favorite books on existentialism, which he had been so sweet enough to lend her for the tour. Truth be told, she hadn't started reading it yet, not that she wasn't interested, but it merely reminded her of the lack of Nolan's presence and the guilt she feels over it. As the bus pulls off onto the road, James tells Nanette to stop being so antisocial because they have a guest on board. But she only shoes him away.

           "She gets her own hotel room, too, you know?" he jokes to Corey, who has turned around at the small table to look at her, "Because she's a girl," James adds. Corey cocks a brow with an expression of mild contempt.

           "Well, that's a grown ass woman. I can't blame her for not wanting to be around a bunch of sweaty dicks 24/7," he says genuinely before taking a swig of Reed's Stronger Ginger Brew.

           "A little sweat never hurt anyone. Come on, Nan! We got some fucking attention today because it was hot enough for you to wear next to nothing," James quips, but really, he's pushing it. Nanette stands to walk into her bunk and pull the curtain.

           "See? You're being fuckin' annoying right now," she hears Corey add. She's thankful that he can't see her smiling where she has hidden to turn on the small light in her bunk and read. She eventually falls asleep, and she doesn’t wake up again until it's dark, finding herself alone in her bunk, the reading light still on. Her phone is blinking with notifications, and she unlocks the screen to find that Lars has texted her that they went out to eat and ordered her whatever was vegan on the menu, that she'll have to come up to her hotel room to get it when she wakes up. He had even been so kind as to leave her the room key that will let her in. Nanette curses to herself, realizing just how late it is, how many hours have passed.

           She makes her way to get up when she starts reading missed texts from Nolan. She pauses at the door of the bus to see that he's informed her that she didn't call him back about the book, which she'd texted him about hours ago to say she would be finished reading in just another two to three hours. He had clearly become impatient. She doesn't bother to call him back, but to go up to her hotel room, shower, and eat the food that Lars left her in the mini fridge. The next few days go somewhat similarly ever since Corey started hanging around her bandmates so much. She has been watching Stone Sour side stage and they've been ambushing her band's sets, and their crowd sizes have skyrocketed from city to city. Nanette tries to keep her distance from Corey, but he seems to make a point of it to bring her carrot juice, and frozen waters for the rest of her crew, probably not to make it seem like he's focusing on her so hard, but she can't help feeling like he is.

           She doesn't say much to him, but he asks her one evening a week later why she always calls him Mr. Taylor. He says it makes him feel old, which causes Nanette to laugh. When she thinks that she has become more skillful at avoiding him, she finds Corey running into her when she walks around the venues in the morning, something she usually does by herself just to clear her head. He tells her that she's really quiet, and that it's frustrating to him in an entertaining sort of way. Later that day, he says it again, which makes her blush madly when she's sitting across from Madden playing cards on the way to another state. And Corey keeps tagging along on their bus, and looking at her in ways that make her feel the need to call Nolan and try to quietly have phone sex, fill her brain with him instead.

           "Everything I know about you, I know from Lars…Are you guys fucking?" Corey asks, out of the blue. Lars claps and laughs; Nanette freezes, and luckily, James, Pinkerton, and Madden are too engrossed in their iPods to hear this.

           "She's like my sister. The fuck kind of question is that? We've been friends since middle school 'cause of our moms. And besides, she has a guy. Calm the fuck down, Corey."

           "What? I can't ask a simple question?" he asks sarcastically, "Just curious." But when Nanette catches his eye for a fleeting moment, he's sort of flushed around his thick neck. He sighs, folding. When Nanette manages to fall asleep for the umpteenth time on the bus instead of reading Nolan's book, she awakens to sunlight and to find several irritated text messages from her boyfriend. At first, he's asking her if she's okay, why he hasn't heard from her in such a long time, the next, he's talking about the Facebook photos of her playing cards with Corey from Stone Sour, asking her what she's been doing with him on the bus all night. Nanette decides to ignore these texts, again, waking up to a key card left by Lars and a note saying that there's a really massive salad and veggie burger in her fridge in room 628 of the Wyndham Hotel.

           While she is sitting on her bed watching The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, her phone rings and she pauses in eating to transition her salad to the coffee table. She sighs before answering Nolan. Instead of the small talk, he just leans right into her.

           "Why are you ignoring me? I was worried about you," he says impatiently. One of the things Nanette has not been able to tolerate very well is Nolan's impatience with her, which has gotten so much worse ever since her tour began.

           "Why would I be ignoring you, Nolan? I play a set in the sun every day, I get sweaty, get on a bus, and fall asleep until I reach the next town—"

           "Please don't lie to me, Nan. You're always up playing around with singers on your bus."

           "…What do you mean by 'playing around', Nolan?" He's quiet for a little bit before sighing.

           "I just wish that you loved me as much as I love you," he says, "I wish that you cared about me enough to want to at least call me when you're done for the day. Why were you sitting on Madden's lap in that photo from last night on the bus?"

           "What are you talking about? You haven't even told me you love me in weeks. What are you trying to say, Nolan?" Nanette asks, glaring into space and lowering the volume on the TV as an orc drives Aragorn over a cliff.

           "You know damn fucking well what I'm trying to say," Nolan spits. The fact that he'd sworn at her maliciously is the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. He's never done that before, even when they'd fight, and the next thing she knows, the phone call ends with her telling Nolan that he should try being happy for her for just once, that she's never cheated on him and never will, and her bringing up the fact that he actually cheated on her just a few months ago, that he was lucky she ever took him back. Before hanging up, Nolan tells her angrily, with venom, not to come back to Sacramento, because she won't find him and he isn't going to take her bullshit anymore. What bullshit?! She hasn't done anything wrong!

           That Nolan actually hung up on her makes it worse. Unsure whether it is the heat or the lack of proper sleep, Nanette shoves her phone into her suitcase and starts crying. She just completely lets loose, knowing that her bandmates aren't even on the same floor and won't hear her. She doesn't know how long she sits on the edge of the bed crying, but she's sitting there long enough to notice the torrential downpour outside in New Jersey. A pounding on the door startles her and she's silent suddenly.

           "Open up! We gotta evacuate—there's a tornado out there! Nan?!" Corey's voice is so desperate that she can't pretend she doesn't know he knows she's in the room. Nanette wipes her eyes on the sleeve of her bathrobe, grabbing her phone and charger before she hurries to open the door. She manages to ram right into Corey's chest, and he starts laughing, steadying her.

           "What the—? What are you doing? Let's get out of here!"

           "Hey—slow down. I was just trying to get you to come out of the room," Corey explains, smiling. His smile fades when he realizes how red Nanette's eyes are. She gazes up at him with embarrassment, turning away abruptly and shoving her phone and charger into her pocket.

           "That wasn't funny, Mr. Taylor. Please go away. I have to get dressed." His frustrated sigh leaves Nanette breathless. She knows that if she lets him into the room, he'll probably not want to leave it. Not after the way he kept looking at her last night on the bus. It was hard for her to keep away from him then. All she could think about was Nolan. Nolan, the reason she's crying now.

           "Nan, come on. How long are you gonna pretend to be so tough when clearly you're hurting? I could hear you crying from down the hall," Corey explains. She hears the door close softly behind her as she makes her way further into the room.

           "I'm…I have to get dressed. You should go—"

           "I'm not going anywhere until you turn around and look at me…Nan…"

She avoids Corey's request, standing there and closing her eyes. It isn’t until she can feel his presence about two feet away that she bothers to speak.

           "I'm just not happy right now. It's not something you need to worry about."

           "When a woman cries the way you were crying, it's because some bastard made her," Corey states. Nanette's heart jumps. He must have been in this sort of situation before, perhaps on the end of the bastard, and for a moment, she feels very wary of him.

           "Please, I just have to make sure you're okay. I can't turn around and leave until you can convince me of that."

           "You don't have to be so…I'll really be fine, Mr. Tay—"

           "Hahahahaha, stop calling me that, Nan. You know my name."

           "Corey…please go away. I'm fine, alright?"

           "No. Stop lying. You don't have to pretend to be so strong all the time just 'cause you're the only woman in a band on this tour. I'm not a complete idiot; I know you're really hurting inside. I just want to understand why—"

           "You already told me why. My boyfriend is…my ex, maybe—I don't know! I need to be alone right now." A silence passes, during which Nanette can hear Corey inhale deeply. The breath holds, and she waits to hear it to exhale when she feels Corey's hand encircle her upper arm. At this, she jumps slightly and turns around. For a handful of seconds, she's unable to believe he had touched her this way.

           "You shouldn't have to feel this way. A real man wouldn't make you feel this way," Corey states. Nanette meets his gaze, and it's on her long enough that she starts to feel naked before him, despite her bathrobe. And the next thing she knows, Corey's hands are clutching on her waist and his lips are spicy with something she can't quite place, perhaps ginger…? It isn't a long dance to the bed, where his hands manage to find their way under her robe. The heat of his mouth clamping down over hers causes Nanette to moan. Realizing she's going to end up having sex, she thinks about Nolan for a fleeting moment, watching Corey unbuckle his belt, pull his jeans off, throw his shirt over on the sofa. She pushes up on his chest briefly as he mounts her, and his clear eyes gaze down at her with some confusion. Nanette grins and lifts a finger to signal pause. She hurries from the bed and to her suitcase, finding the new box of condoms she had purchased a few weeks before the tour, when she thought Nolan would be with her all summer.

           She hands an unopened condom to Corey, who sits on the edge of the bed waiting for her. He tears it open seamlessly, all the while, drinking her in with a set of hungry eyes. But the type of hungry they are reminds Nanette of the way that Nolan looks at her; it's not just sex. She's only glad that Corey didn't resist when she handed him the condom; Nolan didn't like to use them most of the time, and she would not have been able to handle a pregnancy scare on tour all summer.

           "Are you sure?" Corey asks, after securing himself, pulling her by the hands back to the bed. Nanette nods, not giving a damn about anything else at this rate. Corey grins without teeth and wraps her up in his arms, kissing up the midline of her chest until his lips meet her neck, where they tickle her at the throat. He distracts her with this playfulness as she straddles him, and she hardly notices him search for her entrance, until she gasps at the sudden sensation of being taut around his hardness. They moan simultaneously, Nanette digging her nails into his slightly sunburnt shoulders. Corey winces once before gazing down into her eyes with what looks like some kind of relief. She realizes now that he has wanted her from the moment he shook her hand. The thought sends chills up her spine, chills that are chased by the tips of Corey's calloused fingers as he massages the vertebrae located beneath her freshly bathed flesh.

           He moans against her shoulder repeatedly as he carefully maneuvers up between her legs, her feet planted against the quilt. Corey starts off gently to ease Nanette onto his girth. She trembles in his hold, throwing her head back to moan. He slides inside her deeper with every thrust, gazing down at her intently for any sign of uneasiness. He had instantly fallen in love with how petite she is, and merely felt like a giant around her, but the noises escaping her mouth convince him that she's only experiencing pleasure. He bucks his hips roughly once. Nanette's breath catches, and she pulls her arms around Corey's neck, pushing a hand up through his hair and gripping it, causing him to laugh without sound. His lips turn up into a sultry grin.

           "Does that feel good, honey?" he asks her erotically. Nanette nods, meeting his thrust when he moves again. His tattoos become a bit of a blur to Nanette as she watches him push up inside of her repeatedly. She wonders now where the hell he got all this stamina from at forty-three, but doesn't bother asking as he literally transitions into a standing position and continues fucking her with ease, holding her up in both arms. She writhes with pleasure in his sauna-like grasp, and he eventually turns to place her on the bed on her back. He does this so gingerly, as if afraid he might drop her through a glass wall, and his expression as he does it is the same as Nolan's expression every time he made love to her. It's not going to stop here, Nanette realizes, and her throat and stomach flood with butterflies that she can't quell. Corey picks up her legs, securing them on either side of his waist, the bed tall enough that he can stand there and make it between her thighs just right.

           All she can see and feel, taste, smell, and hear, is pleasure. An orgasm begins to well up and she shudders, spreading her legs further as Corey's fingers deliberately and skillfully manipulate her clit. She can tell that he's just trying to please her, that this is not about him. He had managed to make her feel good before, in other ways, and the intention is positively salient now.

           "C'mon, sweety," Corey breathes, beckoning her closer. She grasps at his abdomen, scratching, her head lifting up off the disheveled quilt, and she implodes, her legs beginning to twitch, upper body writhing in a wormlike fashion. Corey's hands force her legs to remain open throughout the entire climax; he wanted her to get the most of it, and didn't stop thrusting through her spasms. She's fresh with sweat by the time her orgasm ends, and Corey carefully mounts her again, pulling her legs around his waist. He continues, pausing to kiss her, soon finishing himself. When he pulls out, the pleasure gradually dissipates, until she can't take him kissing her anymore without thinking about Nolan.

           She starts to cry, and audibly. Corey's face lifts away and he gazes down at her with worry. Nanette covers her eyes with her hands, unable to face him. She has never cheated in all of her life. She shouldn't have done this, not when there's supposedly a man waiting at home to marry her. Disgusted with herself, she just breaks down, even though she knows that she had genuinely wanted what had just happened.

           "Nan?" Corey asks worriedly, fearfully. When he tries to pull her wrists to get her to look at him, she rushes out from under him and runs into the bathroom. She closes the door, hearing him calling her name, already coming after her. He knocks on the door, and she's far too ashamed to open it and face him. She hears Corey pace and sigh for a handful of seconds.

           "Please," he says calmly, and she sees the handle jiggle as he tries to open the door, hears him sigh again, "Nanette, can you just open the door and come out and talk to me?"

           "Go away, Corey," Nanette manages to state clearly from the inside. He sighs again.

           "Why?" She doesn't answer, and she eventually hears his footsteps retreating. She waits for a minute before Corey knocks on the door again.

           "Nan…I'm sorry," he says, not knowing what he had done wrong; to the best of his knowledge, she had wanted him, too. He even asked her first.

           "Please…I can't leave if…I need to know that you're not going to hurt yourself if I leave this room." Nanette's heart jumps, and as she continues to lean against the wall wrapped in a new towel, she bites her fingers unsurely.

           "Why would I do that?" She asks him genuinely.

           "Because he hurt you. I don't know what he did, but I know it was bad. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left and you hurt yourself over some piece of shit," Corey explains.

           "I'm not going to hurt myself," Nanette states, a little bit agitated, "I'm not crazy," she says defensively.

           "I didn't say you were…Fine. But will you just open the door and let me see you before I go?"

She pauses for a moment, before rushing over and unlocking the bathroom door. The fear on Corey's face makes her feel badly for having had such a meltdown. He sighs with relief, inching towards her and pausing when she takes a step back. He reaches for her shoulder and pauses, retracting his hand. His clothes are back on, but he doesn't look like he wants to leave.

           "Corey—please—I need you to go. I'm serious. I need to be alone for a little while."

           "I will. But first, can you promise me that I'm going to see you later on at your set?"

She nods, closing the door until there's only a crack, keeping Corey at arm's length.

               "I'll go now, okay? …I just want you to know that…I wasn't trying to upset you. And whatever he did, I wouldn't hurt you like that…" She gazes into the one clear eye that she can see through the door before he steps away and leaves the room.

(Click here for chapter 3)

[lhassinu]

I got tagged by @brewka like eons ago and for once this is not a meme that just got buried in my likes but i..i honestly had such a hard time choosing?? and im still not completely happy with it but oh well it was so interesting to think about it and so much fun to do tho! thank you very much for taggin me!!!! <333

Me in 3 characters:

Todd Chavez (Bojack Horseman) aka of fuckin course 

Miyako Inoue (Digimon Adventure 02) aka ‘are you still relating to frikin digimon from your childhood?!’ no! ..maybe.. ......yes....... yes i am.

Yvan (L’Art) aka the one for which holioc severs all ties with me because she shares one of the masterpieces of the French drama with me and i make it into a meme.......................... imsorry pls dont leave me

some explanation and honorable mentions under the cut cuz this is just ShameTM but before that i tag @ghostspies @holioc @imaginesharks @mouthface @serpuns-a-lot @trinuska @nomadicplanets @vanishshi @velvetbaguette @aseriesofgayevents and anyone who wants to! (((im sorry for tagging so many people you dont have to read/like my shitty post i just really love this meme and wanna see what people do with it! and make it more or less fandomy thrash as you feel it!!! you dont have to do it if ya dont want to obviously!)))

okay so lets get this trainwreck rolling! everyone managed to explain it in few lines, not me, i just want to share personal info with strangers on the internet! :D

>>>Todd oh my god Todd, this goofball was the first one i came up with and the only one who actually stayed there until the end. i didnt relate to him THAT much in the first two seasons, i mean i did but im Very against drugs so i didnt really think about it but the 3rd one oh myyy it all just clicked... 

ok so almost the same age and obviously the childish side, that goes without sayin -_-

i try my best to be upbeat and excited (i have way too much love in my heart and i just cant contain it like a frikin 5 year old gddamnt)

pretty friendly too? and tryin to avoid conflict so much im unable to decide anything

WELL MEANING but fuckin up in the end ah ha ha.. yea.. 

lazy slacker too (though not yet to the point of living on a stranger’s couch for 5+ years welp we never know what future brings right) and im more than able to fuck up all my progress just cuz i got addicted to tumblr a videogame haha another thing that totally didnt happen to me right

and!!! the asexual part!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve binge watched the last two BH seasons and i planned to do the same for the 3rd one.. and then todd acted like he did and it was just hitting so close to home (lmao bonus points for sad irl stuff happening that got me waaaay more sensitive to ace stuff n generally realizing im ace) and i just Related so much but at the same time?? why would he be actually ace lol kao dont be stupid they would either play it off for laughs or just forget to deal with it.. I literally had to stop watching for a few weeks because i was just so sure he wont be ace but i didnt want to be heartbroken by one of my fav shows. AND THEN THEY DIDNT FORGET AND PUT THAT BEAUTIFUL DIALOGUE IN THE *FINALE*  ALL RESPECTFUL AND NOT AT ALL JUST A JOKE just.. validation ;u; 

>>>welp that got emo although i tried not to, lets focus on not spilling every detail about my personal life in the next one~ Miyako! 

she is so!!!! Excite!!!!! :D and always ready to cheer up her friends (tho she cant actually deal with anything worse than “im feeling a little unmotivated today :c”) 

she cant hide her emotions AT ALL!!  and so expressive!! is she sad? you bet your ass she will complain! but also she is always okay with the others doing the same although she is pretty jealous of people who CAN pretend everything is okay (at this point i could start using the ‘I’ pronoun instead of she/her lmao) 

all these random english catchphrases lmaooo i’ve managed to chill now but i still use some french/english ones in the irl talk you can pry ‘bref’ from my dead cold hands

not the Worst Fashion Disaster but close.. especially when left to her own devices in the digital world................. oh and glasses!

when stressed she tends to overreact and do the opposite of what she should be doing 

her ideal future was eating lotta cake, if this isnt relatable! (okay there was some deeper meaning but shoosh)

crushes...on everyone.... so easily..... also Painfully obvious :’’’D

my digisona is also this Intense girl with a serious digimon keeping her outta trouble 

>>> and Yvan! again im so sorry to every French person (see? i used a capital F that shows i mean it!) reading this cuz im probably just horribly disrespecting everything about this play... 

but just the way he introduced himself i was like “if this isnt me” from the start!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

stressed desperately lookin for somethin he JUST HAD A SECOND AGO and “je suis un garçon.....uhmmmmmmm...sympatique?” 

Conclusion: Yvan is relatable

tbh i feel v much like 80% his lines (”Si cela lui fait plaisiiiiiiiir” or “Calme-toi est la pire chose que tu puisses dire à quelqu’un qui a perdu son calme” hONESTLY)

and his self esteem and the way he talks about himself :’)

trying his best to stay neutral and help calm both sides, failing miserably

white lies are good for your health (spoilers: they are not and we never learn)

generally has no idea how to deal with bullshit (press A to run away press B to try more useless talking) 

pls dont leave the decision on me pls i dont want to have an Opinion

he forgives every bad treatment in a span of going down the stairs

im worried ill relate to his professional situation :’D

oh and hypochondriac 

OversharesTM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cries all the time which is abnormal for a boy of his age

Honorable mention goes to!!! some more digimons because apparently i mostly relate to stuff im currently being hyped about

Emil Nekola (YOI) because of his ~~Czech~~ nationality, fondness of hugs, positive friendly attitude and the fact that this boy has not a single clue whats going on my dude he has not a slightest idea my guy he is just confused 24/7 (and doesnt understand there is drama going on or drama in general) 

Joe (Digimon Tri) lmao i wish, he is more like goals tbh but still, that dialogue with Mimi hit waaaaayyyy too close to home for comfort...

Gazimon (Digimon) because i, too, am a lazy furry who is hecka supportive of her friends and just wants to spend all her time sunbathing/ fucking on computer/eating

i had some more but i didnt write them down and forgot..