#i wish more patterns used charts it's so much easier to follow for me

[ninoochat]

I crochet too :)

[buckyreaderrecs]

So Far Away: Chapter 2/?

Summary:  Bucky Barnes doing what he does best. Saving. Loving. In this particular case, the object of both is you. (Bonus: Bucky Barnes happy, healing, doing really well!) Chapter 1. 

Chapter 2:  He's saved you before. Now he's gotta find you and bring you home.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader Characters: Bucky Barnes Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists),  possible future smut (who knows, not me), she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters, hero Bucky Barnes, canon typical violence, warzone/disaster zone setting Warnings: possible triggers for anxiety, PTSD, grief

Tag list (open): @darlingtholland @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty

So Far Away Chapter 2/?

Bucky couldn't visit you in the hospital, even if he had wanted to; there was only space for the critically injured in the still-standing healthcare facilities. Others were transported elsewhere in the country. Anywhere that could take people did. That just left the people like you - hurt but able to walk, i.e. not dying.

Along with the thousands of other displaced city dwellers, you were assigned a fold out cot in a repurposed rec centre. It wasn't until you were sitting on it, with only a government issues sleeping bag and water bottle to call your own did reality set in. You'd lost your home. There was no way of contacting finding friends or family. With no connections outside of DC, you could only put your name on the 'registered: to be relocated' list and wait. Eventually you'd be seen by a caseworker, or so you were told.

The rec centre was a battle within itself. Three nights in and it was almost as bad as the moments before Bucky found you. There were crying and hopelessness, and a sense that everything important was happening elsewhere, that all your fates were out of your hands. You were going mad.

…

On the fourth morning, you were sitting on your cot with the girl who'd been sleeping next to you. While her mother went in search of anything resembling warm coffee, you braided the girl's hair. That's when you heard your name.

Behind you stood a man in a crisp black suit. The dark sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose were unnecessary in the rec centre. "Y/N?" he repeated when you turned to look at him.

As you stood, you nodded. "Yes,"

"Please follow me,"

"Wait!" you called when he moved too fast. "What's happening? Did you find my family? Do I bring my stuff with me?"

Throwing all you had - drink bottle, toothbrush and paste, protein bar - into your sleeping bag, you bundled it up and jogged after the man.

Nobody had been collected like that. Nobody had heard anything about their family from any official source either. You were very confused and a little sick with anticipation. Trotting along, you did your best to keep up without dropping anything.

Outside in the still dirty and broken street, the door to a sleek black car was held open for you.

"Where-" but you were cut off by a body emerging from the back seat.

"C'mon, man. She's only got one good hand. Could've taken her bag," Bucky said in a tone that was trying to be friendly but made the suited man shift uncomfortably and mumble an apology.

Bucky took the sleeping bag from you and carefully put it in the car. He looked at you then, smiled and nodded. "Sorry, I didn't bring any flowers. Took a little longer to find ya than I thought."

Eyes welling up with tears, you fell into his solid chest. Any embarrassment you could have felt was chased away with a wave of relief. You felt safe.

"Hi," he whispered, knowing you weren't able to reply.

Bundled in the backseat, Bucky gave you space to spread out if you wanted to. You didn't. After two minutes of watching you breathing heavily and trying not to curl into yourself, he undid his seatbelt and slide over.

"Come 'ere," he said, pulling you closer with his right arm. Nestled under him like a baby bird, it was easier to think. Thinking led to questions.

"Where are we going?" you asked. The first words you had spoken since seeing him and they weren't even gracious. Bucky didn't care though.

"New York," he answered. "Bit of a drive, but I reckon driving is safer than flying right now. We'll stay off the radar better too."

At the allusion to threat, your heart rate increased. "Are they still here?" you asked.

A state of emergency had been declared. That's all you'd really heard. You wanted to know if the creatures that had come from the sky were still waging war. It hadn't been an accident that they'd landed in the capital of arguably the most powerful nation in the world.

"I'm a sucker for a pretty face, Y/N, but I can't go around telling state secrets… But the battle's over for now; you're safe. Nothing to worry about."

It wasn't just you, though. There were people to find. Help. Save. However, even thinking about all of that, all of them, was too dangerous of a luxury at that point. You couldn't let yourself think beyond yourself. Instead, you asked, "Where are we going?" again, meaning to inquire about specifics.

Bucky was very used to people's inability to function effectively after pain, trauma. The repetition hardly registered as such; he knew what you meant. "Been staying at Stark Tower since I've been back in America,"

"Wakanda," you mumbled, mostly to yourself.

"Yeah, Wakanda. The Tower is… not exactly a home, but it's safe and it's somewhere to sleep,"

"'Kay." A slight nod was all you could muster.

You closed your eyes and let Bucky gently move his thumb over the exposed skin on your arm. Since it all began, you'd been cold. It was cold outside between the broken homes. It was cold in the rec centre, despite the mass of human movement. But in the back seat of the sleek black car, you were warm. The hoodie you'd been picturing in your mind for days was crossed off the wish list. Suddenly, you were glad to be in a t-shirt, glad to feel skin on skin.

Bucky's hand was warm. You wondered if his other one was, the one made of new vibranium and Wakandan technology. A combination of sleep deprivation and strange comfort led to you briefly opening your eyes and looking across Bucky's lap to where his left hand rested on his thigh. You reached out and took the hand, pulling it closer.

"You can feel everything?" you asked.

It was more than rude, but he forgave you. Usually people were too afraid of him to ask curious questions, so your bluntness was kind of refreshing. "Yeah. Pressure and temperature, at least," he answered, flexing his fingers in demonstration.

"Can you feel this?"

With the lightest touch, you traced patterns over the palm of Bucky's hand. He nodded, letting you trace seams and map his hand like you were charting a course to somewhere important.

"Are-" Bucky went to speak but stopped himself, starting his sentence again. "I know this is a… I don't know, a dumb question, but how are you?"

At first, Bucky tried to not involve anybody else in his search for you. Eventually, he had to explain to Steve and Sam, who kept asking where he was disappearing to. Earth had been invaded - what was more important? He had to talk to F.R.I.D.A.Y. too, so he assumed Stark would find out he'd been on the hunt for one girl. Bucky had half expected people to laugh at him. Or maybe even warn him against ruining an innocent girl's life with his own chaotic one. He was the Winter Soldier after all. Nobody had though. He'd been left with the resources he needed.

On Bucky's way out of New York, Stark had even phoned in, left a voice message. "Yeah, hey, Barnes… Look, if you find… if you find her, you can bring her here… What's one more stray?"

It made him feel like a massive idiot, like he was getting too big for his boots, but Bucky asked the agent to go into each building full of survivors and check for you. He knew going in himself would make a scene, disrupt the peace people so truly needed. The agent complied, of course. The first three times the agent had returned, he shook his head solemnly - "Sorry, Sir." Each time Bucky had reminded the agent that a) it wasn't his fault, no need to apologise, and b) he really didn't need to call Bucky 'Sir.'

Bucky knew you were alive, so you had to be somewhere. And when he watched you trot outside the rec centre, finally knowing where somewhere was, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders he didn't know was there.

Three nights and four days wasn't a long time, especially not by Bucky's standards, but he'd missed you. Even less than four days were the few moments he'd spent carrying you to safety. It wasn't like he'd gotten to know you. It wasn't like you were looking spectacularly beautiful. Honestly, Bucky had no fucking idea why he couldn't stop wondering where you had ended up and if you were okay. He had no idea what was driving that immense pressure coming from inside him to find you.

None of that mattered. You were tucked safely into him, holding his hand like it hadn't been the thing to kill countless people.

"You must have saved so many people," you said suddenly, ignoring his question not out of rudeness or deflection, but out of distraction. You were replaying it all in your head, imagining how Bucky must have swooped in and rescued other people stranded like you.

When Bucky didn't reply, you looked up at him. His expression was almost neutral, but erring on the side of confusion. His head cocked to the side a little, then his eyebrows pulled together.

"You mean, like…"

"Like me," you confirmed.

"Uh, no… not really. I'm more a… frontline combat kind of guy,"

"Thought you were a sniper?"

Bucky smirked. "Yeah… I mean I'm not… They don't send me looking for… civilians, people. The others are better at that," he tried to explain. He could see you didn't understand. "People see Captain America or… fuckin' Thor and know they're saved. Clint's good at it too. They're… people people, you know?"

You were frowning so much it almost looked childish. It was your thinking face, and Bucky didn't want to think it was entirely adorable, but it very much was.

"Then what are you?"

"I'm a… frontline combat, call me when there's a war not a press conference, kind of guy… I guess…" he said, repeated with flair. It was hard to read the tone in his voice; you couldn't tell if he was glad or sad about being that kind of guy.

"What about me?"

Quiet again while he thought, Bucky racked his memory. "You're… You're the only one…"

Bucky had saved hundreds of people during war pre-Howling Commandos and post, and he had saved the literal planet alongside The Avengers, so you were not the first person he had saved by any stretch of the imagination. But he wasn't searching for civilians the day he found you. He was stalking the enemy and killing them. You were not meant to be there. But you were. And if Bucky wasn't, you would have died. It made you the first and only individual person to be 'saved' by Bucky Barnes in the traditional help-me-Superman kind of way. That fact had only just become clear in Bucky's mind.

As Bucky figured it all out, you were watching him carefully, trying to read his mind. His blue eyes were glazed over, but finally came to refocus on you. He smiled softly, and it was very identifiably sad.

Then, unpredictably, he said, "How about we don't talk about the world ending, and we talk about how there's a hot shower waiting for you in New York." And just like that, as quickly as that strange darkness flashed across his face, it was gone. Replaced with a bright expression and casual smile, Bucky's face was reassuring again.

"Shower sounds good," you agreed.

"And food. What do you feel like?"

"Pizza," you replied immediately. Pizza, always.

Bucky laughed. "Probably need something a bit more… nourishing than pizza, darlin'. Vegetables, ya know?" He almost surprised himself with how quickly he seemed to snap into a caring role. He'd not played that part since Steve was small, sick. It felt good. Natural.

It kept going like that for a while. Bucky's constant small talk chatter keeping you on the upside of consciousness. You weren't sure if he was doing it on purpose. If he was worried a nap would ruin future sleep, he was definitely mistaken.

An hour into the trip, you looked up at him again. You'd sunk deeper into him. "Thought you said you don't talk that much,"

"Don't normally… Why? You got a problem, punk? Am I boring you?" he teased, poking your side a little. You tried to swat him away but you used your injured hand. The bandages frayed and dirty moving through the air were a sudden reminder. Warm. Safe. Comfortable. Almost happy, even. But that wasn't the case everywhere. Even if the terror seemed so far away, it was still just out there. You went quiet.

Bucky repositioned you in his arms then, dragging you across the back seat so he could sit on the far left, leaning half on the backrest and partly on the door. He held you so you could fall back on him entirely. His right arm was a secure vibranium seatbelt. His left one was free to move his hand around. He settled on running fingers through your hair. Surely it was full of knots and grit, but he didn't seem to find them. Very quickly, you fell into a shallow nap.

…

Bucky was trying to wake you gently, but you were hard to stir. He laughed as you frowned hard, slowly coming out of a fitful sleep. When you sat up and looked around, you were confused. The car was no longer in motion, and had come to park. It was difficult to see out of the tinted windows. "Where…?" you mumbled, not bothering with the rest of the question.

"We're home," Bucky replied, getting out of the car and closing the door. Inhumanly fast, he was opening the door on your side, offering a hand to help you out.

Shaky on your feet, you let Bucky's hands linger around you as you found your footing. Looking back into the car, you couldn't stop the natural urge to check you had everything - your wallet, phone, keys… But those things didn't exist anymore.

"Do you want any of that?" Bucky asked you, motioning to the sleeping bag.

Your head was shaking no before your mind had really decided, and you closed the car door with slightly too much force. Wincing at the loud thud, Bucky felt bad for you. He often felt bad for people; everything he'd been through somehow made him more empathetic.

"Stark doesn't normally just let people in the back door like this… But it means if you wander off F.R.I.D.A.Y. will probably lock you in a room."

It was easier to nod than ask who 'Friday' was and how they'd locked you in a room.

Bucky took your hand and began to walk. Stark Tower was designed to be somehow both easy to navigate but just as easy to get trapped in - just in case that's what Stark wanted. As Bucky led you down hallways and into multiple elevators, you knew you'd never be able to find your way out without him. It didn't bother you much. The world beyond the Tower was frightening and cold.

The only thing you really took notice of was the distinct lack of people around. Between the car and Bucky's suite, you only passed two others. There was an agent in the first elevator. She greeted Bucky with a monotone, "Sergeant," before hitting the button for twentieth floor, apparently knowing Bucky's path.

The second person was a little more animated, but also addressed Bucky as Sergeant. When he said it though, it felt like a term of respect and endearment. "Serge!" he called as he turned the corner into the hallway you were making your way down. "Heard you'd be here, Sergant." Bucky stopped to shake and pat the back of the man. He was dressed like the driver and elevator agents, but seemed far less robotic in his professionalism.

"Yeah, taking some quick R&R. I'll be back out soon,"

"Take your time. Don't think you owe us overtime or nothing," the agent said, smiling wide.

Bucky shrugged and stepped to continue on his way, his hand still holding yours firmly. "Be safe, yeah?"

"Always, Serge. You get some rest."

In the next elevator, Bucky ran his thumb over the back of your hand. "Figured you're too tired for introductions," he offered quietly. Smiling weakly, you nodded. "Don't worry - he'll go ask someone about you as soon as he can… Bunch of gossips."

At the door to Bucky's suite, he didn't produce a key of any sort. Simply, he said, "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," out loud. You looked around, confused, then the door made a small clicking sound and Bucky opened it.

Inside, coming simultaneously from everywhere and nowhere a warm voice greeted you both. "Good evening Sergeant Barnes. Welcome Y/N,"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., I told ya to just call me Bucky,"

"Boss says only your friends call you that," the voice retorted. You could hear the sass in her voice.

It stumped Bucky, and he smirked and looked around, annoyed he couldn't face any one spot to speak to her. "Did Stark tell you not to be my friend?"

You thought maybe… she… had gone, but then, "Boss isn't the boss of me… Bucky."

Bucky laughed, and the sound made you spin to face him. His nose was crinkled up in amusement and he put his hands on his hips. Bucky noticed you watching. "That," he pointed up at the ceiling, "…is F.R.I.D.A.Y. She's Stark's… A.I. Kinda runs the place. If you need anything, just ask her. She can hear you anywhere,"

"But I only come when called," she added, seemingly disapproving of the creepy explanation Bucky offered.

"Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,"

"You're welcome. Have a good night."

You were still looking around for her when Bucky laughed again as he watched you. "Takes a bit to get used to, but you will. If me and Steve can, you can."

Nodding in response, you glanced around the space. Already it was overwhelming. There were floor to ceiling windows, and you could see all of New York from them, even from the other side of the room. You couldn't regulate your emotions. It was like anything you'd felt in your life had a sudden renaissance, all of them fighting to have their fifteen seconds of control of your mind and body.

Slowly, Bucky approached. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you even noticed him.

"What do you need?" he asked, reading your expression and each movement of your body very carefully. "Don't answer that… You probably don't know what you need, yeah? How 'bout… Shower first."

He was patient. He could probably stand in the one spot for hours without moving if he needed to - if you wanted him to. But you didn't, of course. The problem was that you didn't really know what you wanted. Logically, you knew you should eat. Sleep. Clean. Facing choice, free will, for the first time in days felt alien.

"I…" you tried, but your voice was shaking and didn't sound familiar. "I… I don't know… Can… Can you just…"

What exactly were you asking for?

"Look after you?" Bucky tried.

Aim. Fire. Bullseye.

You nodded, bursting into tears. Bucky closed the gap between you, wrapping you up in his arms like he'd done before. Your own arms were folded, pressed tightly between your chest and his.

"Here's what we're gonna do, darlin'," Bucky whispered, not trying to hush you. "We're gonna get you in the shower, then put you in bed. Go from there…" He kissed the top of your head. "I got you, Y/N."

Chapter 3. 

[darkobssessions]

Do I need help or is this part of what makes me unique?

People often underestimate the meaning of the word ‘extra.’ Those that know me are on a spectrum of context for my too muchness. My family compartmentalises what I do and who I am according to level of societal appropriateness. Some things are entirely invisible to them. They dismiss and deny what is too shocking. They criticize and call out what they believe to be in their power to change. They praise and embrace acceptable hobbies and talents. But they do not see a full picture of me.  The students I teach my life’s work to get to engage with a passionate, seemingly all-knowing entity that dabbles in nearly everything, and is well versed to the minutiary detail on incredibly deep and nuanced subjects. But the obsessions are contextualised, the passion is infectious, and the personal relationships have some limits, mostly due to circumstance, not really so if it were entirely up to me. Friends and acquaintances are least likely, unfortunately, to see the full dazzling spectrum. Perhaps when I was younger, I was full on in everything that I did and this came across as too sensitive or too much to close friends, of which there were few. These days, the too much is seen in a million miles a minute rattled out live videos on subjects of interest. I am seen as a pioneer and trailblazer, a dot connector.  That I do not have close friends that know the ins and outs of my personality, the challenges, limits, the passionate drive, the obsessive tendencies is a testament to how difficult it is to be fully yourself in each and every circumstance. Those close friends I do have, know me for my quirks, and are quirky themselves, But I feel there is a limit. Perhaps it is self-imposed. But it is there. My definition and experience of extra goes way above and beyond anything that anybody in my life could imagine, I feel. Thus is the nature of neurodiversity, perhaps, or personality aerobics or a vast inner world, or maybe being obsessive. I have never been more sure than today that all the experiences of my life can currently be summed up under being wired differently. My extra is not the extra that gets people positions, wins people over, charms, manipulates or gains critical acclaim. My extra is private, contextualized, and also in the process of embracing itself. Because I have always been this way. And in mapping it out, in coming out with it, I allow myself the acceptance of what always was, and space opened up to work with it more effectively. My too sensitive, too much, too passionate and extra is not the extra that most would reference. Mostly it lives inside my head and my experience. From the outside it may not seem like much, but most underestimate or overlook it, and it can exponentially add to the challenges of any environment or task. It needs to be accommodated, of this now I am sure, because it is not going to change. And rigid environments only exacerbate it.  To sketch it out I will use this example. Perhaps there are those that have an online shopping addiction. A bit of an issue. Perhaps it’s not about the shopping; I am a dot connector after all experienced enough to know it is not often about the thing itself. It is something ABOUT it, or some need it fulfills. Perhaps they max out their cards, shop in any moment they can, or do so knowing they already have enough of that item. This is an extreme, in and of itself.  So instead, maybe those with just a mild problem. Turning to shopping to emotionally regulate, or because it is predictable while life is not, or just because they enjoy it. Telling my family about the fact that I spend hours on a thirfting app only seems to compute through the lens of the above spectrum. What if I told you I was not actually shopping? This level of extra is difficult to express and contextualise. I’m not spending untold amounts of money and checking out every five minutes. I almost wish I were.  In my time on this app, I do what I do best, with all things. I am categorising. I am liking items, and organising them in my folders. I am curating, choosing favourites and building up collections. I am researching. Looking into the market and what is popular, with an eye for what I am drawn to. I am amassing information about brands, and sizing charts. ‘This woman listing this has hips like mine, this swimsuit is true to size.’ ‘This brand has a collection with straps and this other one with metallics.’ I am building a portfolio. I am categorising in the end because I want to select a few, I do checkout and I do buy some. But I have realised that is not, and never was, the main aim. I am observing myself with awe and some fear, as, like a computing machine, I go through these listings, compartmentalise, cross reference and take notes. I seem to overcomplicate everything I engage with, seeing the patterns in all things. I simplify complex things, and make entire mountain ridges from holes in the ground. My inability to make decisions in the past was somewhat masked. I left the task to others, nevermind that my life turned into a powerless sham. I was shielded from responsibility and living by my family in a dangerous society that I only got to sample years after university. I hoarded and collected items and favourites, but put them out of sight and out of mind. I only began to experience the incredible weight in my subconscious of my programming when pushed to try new things. Traveling, for instance, put me into contact with my incredible attachment to my items. I spent years clearing through my things giving many away, making clear categories with my items, in the hopes that traveling or anything really would finally be easier or make more sense. What is left makes more sense now, certainly, but it is more complex. It’s streamlined, but it is multilayered. The days of paying for overweight suitcases, having to dump things in an airport, or crying at 4 am before a flight because I still can’t get everything to fit, are over. That hurdle is past. But through those experiences, I came into contact with my incredibly systemising mind.  My attention to detail was used against me through my attachments. That is why the attachments had to be whittled down. The attention to detail in and of itself is an incredible talent, but paired with the attachments brought indecisiveness. I wanted to learn more about this inability to decide, so I studied my habits in more detail. And what I found with regards to online shopping, and indeed everything I put my hands on, is that I am studying things. Analysing them. I am researching and amassing a wealth of knowledge.  I take that information and I sort it, I filter it, I vet it, I quality control it. Ultimately, I create collections. I have curated favourites and high quality items. Could I help doing that? Mostly no. I can see it consciously now as mostly an unconscious process. So when someone asks me about hobbies, or wonders about my extra, I don’t know where to start. Should I mention the sleek categories on my online shops, would they think ‘shopping addiction’? Would I bother to follow up with an explanation that I do it to research, categorise and curate? Does that even make sense and who even does that? One of my special interests for you today.

Reflection on what this means: https://darkobssessions.tumblr.com/post/643556752077488128/re-shopping-process-research-categorisation

[iamnotbrianmay]

call me when it’s over (and myself has reappeared)

heyyyy, so part two of this fic is finally finished! I am so proud of what I have written and dear god this is a tear jerker. Also, this chapter is very graphic, so if you feel triggered by anything regarding depression, self-harm, and/or suicide please proceed with caution. 

First part of the fic is Here! It is also cross posted in AO3 along with all of my other fics!

I hope you like it! 

***

It's Mental Health week at Imperial College. Otherwise known as the most dreaded week of the year for Brian May.

The psychologist had decided six months into Brian's course that there needed to be some sort of education on Mental Illnesses and that a bunch of, not quite yet mature, young adults will actually take the week seriously. It's the 70's, the world isn't open-minded enough for people to take Mental Illnesses seriously. Hence why Brian shouldn't be surprised about the comments some of his classmates make.

Brian's depression, however, didn't get the memo about ignoring the words sprouted by his classmates.

He can see it in slow motion, the way that the biggest asshole in his class raises his hand once they start discussing the reasons for people self-harming. The way he smirks at his friends, and they all snicker, knowing they are about to make the poor teacher upfront mad as hell. He gets called on, and the words he says leave Brian's ears ringing, "Aren't people who self harm practically useless? I mean, what kind of freak even does that?"

The world around the guitarist freezes.

His brain becomes basically useless after that. He can't hear the teacher's answer. Can't listen to the comments of his classmates who are a little less stupid. He can only hear the phrase on a loop. That mixed with the thoughts that had been growing ever since the incident at the bar about being a burden to his bandmates, a something easier left behind than taken care off.

He honestly doesn't know how he gets to their flat. It feels more like a blur of colours and sounds than actual memories, he only knows that when he opens the door, there is already someone inside. Freddie peeks out from the kitchen and gives Brian a smile. The guitarist stuffs the box of razor blades deeper into his pocket and smiles back.

The older man walks over, swinging his hips and making a show of walking while wearing the 'Kiss the Cook' apron. He grabs Brian's face and starts peppering him with kisses until Brian is blushing a cute shade of red. He doesn't laugh, which was what Freddie was aiming for, but the sweet smile is enough for him to stop. He gives him one last kiss on his nose, and then looks into his eyes, "How was your day, Maggie?"

"Tiring," he doesn't need to lie, "I feel like I could sleep for the rest of my life."

Freddie hums, giving him another kiss on his cheekbone and reaching for his school bag, "Go get a shower, when you come out there will be food waiting for you, sounds good?"

"Okay," Brian mumbles, "But I have to wash my hair, so it will probably take longer."

Freddie smiles at him, telling him he will be waiting anxiously for Brian to get out, and the voice in the back of his mind reminds him that those are just lies. It's almost eerie how said voice sounds exactly like him. Almost as if it was just himself making up these incredibly complex scenarios in which everyone hates him. He shakes his head, trying to clear his head, he has enough problems as it is now.

He gets a pair of oversized pyjamas, something that wouldn't raise Freddie's alarms, and an oversized sweater. The bandages are under the sink, the antiseptic in Brian's corner of the bathroom cabinets, and the box is tucked safely on the pocket of his hoodie. He turns on the shower, gets undressed and gathers everything he needs before stepping into the shower.

His urges didn't get the memo that he no longer owns his collection of bracelets, because his first cut is clean across his wrist and he feels the familiar haziness take over his brain. It's like all logical thoughts are instantly thrown out the window. All the images of Freddie covering his face in kisses, John curled around him like a cat, and Roger singing soft love songs are forgotten. Replaced entirely by hurtful words said to him and around him. Even those fabricated by his own mind.

He can't escape it at that moment, and he only notices he has been saying those words to himself when one of the words cuts of into a groan of pain as he goes a little too deep. A little too long. Then the world comes into focus again.

He can hear the sounds of Freddie's soft singing and pans clanking as he finished their dinner. He can feel the fact that the water has grown cold by then, and that his skin is aching from the scalding water that had been rolling down his spine. But most importantly, he notices the blood. It's trickling slowly down his arm and into the bathroom floor, but god it so much.

He feels the tears prickle at the corners of his eyes and panic rising from the pit of his stomach because he has never had this amount. Especially not after such a long time clean. It had been well over a month without the lightest scratch on his skin, and now he has gone an done this. And then all of the things that should have been in the front of his mind before he even picked up the box from the store come rushing through.

Memories of the last month in which Roger is running ice up and down his arms to calm Brian down, or Freddie is drawing beautiful patterns in his thighs while he wills himself to calm down, or John driving him out to the middle of nowhere and making him scream as loud as possible. It's all for nothing, all their efforts, all their hours spent on Brian, wasted in a shower.

He is calling Freddie's name before he can register it. The older man comes running into the bathroom and gets into the shower as fast as possible. He is pressing a towel to Brian's wounds, comforting the guitarist as he mumbles incoherently about being sorry. About letting them down. Freddie is pressing the cuts down, applying as much pressure as he can with one hand while running the other through Brian's curly hair.

"It's okay, baby," he whispers, the words so soft he can barely hear them over the sound of the shower, "we knew this might happen eventually, darling. You don't need to feel sorry for anything."

Brian doesn't miss the tears on Freddie's eyes.

***

He finds himself on Freddie's bed once the bleeding has stopped and they have changed into pyjamas. The older man is softly cleaning his wounds and applying butterfly bandages. Brian tries to pretend he doesn't see Freddie's trembling hands. Once the last of all his cuts are closed up, he picks up the bandage and wraps it around Brian's arm expertly.

Once it's done, once the evidence of what he has done is covered up, Freddie places a soft kiss over his wrist, then on his palm, then he leans over and presses their foreheads together, "What happened, dove?"

And it's amazing how three simple words have Brian spilling his guts. He tells Freddie everything, for the smallest of details, to the reason why he ended up in the shower. And Freddie looks more than pleased. He stares at Brian like the is the most wonderful being in the universe. He kisses the tears away, holds Brian's hand through the entire thing, tracing slow patterns on the palm of his newly bandaged arm.

At the end, when Brian finishes his story, Freddie cup the back of his neck, "Brian, darling, if we wanted to leave we would have done that ages ago."

"Would you?" Brian whispers, holding out to that little string of hope.

"Yeah," Freddie whispers, "If we didn't want to help you. If we didn't want to be around you. If we weren't willing to stick through the bad days and help you heal we would have left ages ago."

"And would you leave if I said I wanted help?" Brian asks, then realises how that sounds, "If I decided I want to see someone about... this."

He thinks Freddie might be a little upset by the idea of Brian leaving them, or by the fact that Brian thinks he might need a little bit more than just what they are giving him, but instead, Freddie looks ridiculously proud of what Brian just said, "No darling. We would be here, waiting for you until you were ready to come back to us."

And maybe, just maybe, that's exactly what Brian needs.

***

Brian had his bag ready three days before he was due to be released.

To say he can barely contain his excitement is an understatement. He can't wait to see his friends, go back home and spend hours sprawled on their couch playing Scrabble and chatting. He can't wait for the moment when he gets to share the songs he has written with his friends, can't wait to go to bed pleasantly cuddled by three other people.

A month and a half in the hospital has gone both incredibly fast and torturously slow.

He has listened as their album slowly rose to the top of British charts, Killer Queen playing every so often in the old battered radio of his room, and his roommates have a field day every time it does. They dance and sing at the top of their lungs, making Brian cry with laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. By their side, the hectic hospital wing doesn't seem nearly as daunting.

Brian knows he is going to miss them, Sebastian, with his too bright smile and too thin arms, and Phil, with his curly hair and ever-changing moods.

He keeps the letters that Freddie, Roger, and John had written to him before he left. He treasures them, following their instructions and opening one of the forty-five letter pack they gave him each day, and all but cries every time he finishes reading one. By the time three letters remain Brian finally realises how much he misses his boys. He wishes he had his phone with him, or maybe even access to a computer to make sure that the press hasn't eaten them alive in his absence.

Yeah, a month and a half have been torturous.

He enters his psychiatrist's office with a smile in his face, the warm sun is streaming through the windows, the room smells pleasantly of incense, and the young woman is sitting in her reclinable chair, smiling at Brian. He walks over to the board and places one blue sticker on the box marked with March 23rd. The woman smiles, "Two months clean, eh?"

Brian's smile widens, "Two months clean."

***

It is almost frightening how the thing that you have been waiting for the most might sometimes scare the crap out of you. To Brian, the scarcely decorated psych ward, and the homey like office of his psychiatrist had been his home for a long time. And sure, he couldn't wait for the day in which he was released, but now that he was signing the papers and being handed everything that they took away from him before he entered the hospital, well Brian couldn't help but feel nervous.

It had been a month and a half since he had last seen his boys. Forty-five days, sixteen hours, and twenty-three minutes. After all, only next of kin were allowed to visit Brian during his stay.

The doors to the hospital opened after a long beep, and once the air came inside Brian felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. Not for anything else but for the image of his mother standing right outside the hospital. Arms crossed over her chest and a sweet smile on her features. He walked over, letting his suitcase flop on the ground as he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around.

Ruth laughed gleefully at her son's bright mood, tangling her hands into his hair and smacking a wet kiss on his cheek. His father came out of the car then and gave Brian a hug as well. And once they were all seated into the car, and his father turned the ignition key, the radio crackled to life and 'Killer Queen' blasted through the speakers.

His parents laughed, and his mother even let herself hum along to Freddie's voice, but instead of feeling the same glee he always did, Brian could only wonder about two things. One, if Sebastian and Phil were rocking away like they usually did, and two if he still had the same place in the band he had left behind.

After all, in one of his long reading session at Saint Mary's Hospital, he had read that it only takes twenty-one days to make or take something out of your routine. And Brian... well Brian hadn't been a part of Queen for forty-five days.

***

Even after his mother's insistence, they ended up taking Brian from the hospital directly to the flat he shared with the rest of Queen. He was tired, to be honest, and just wanted to lay in his semi-uncomfortable mattress while listening to Roger's nonsense, Freddie's laughter, and John's scoldings. He wanted to be back home, even if it was for only a few days, before going out of the house again.

He bid his parent farewell and climbed the stairs into his building. There was no one around the place as he hiked up the stairs lugging his bag and grunting when the exercise became too much for his exhausted limbs. His hands were shaking terribly as he unlocked the door and toed his shoes off. A part of him expected a warm reception, but the other half of his brain, the one used solely to think about his bandmates, reminded him that they were all bound to be either working or studying at the moment.

He wandered into the kitchen, marvelling at the state of near perfection in which everything was placed. Just like Brian liked everything to be. The house smelled clean, almost like someone had taken the time to scrub every surface clean. Which is surprising given that Brian is the one to do that for them, always. For one second Brian wonders if they hired someone to do that for them with the extra money coming from both the record and having one less mouth to feed and one set less of guitar strings to buy.

He padded over to his room, turning the knob of his door and letting it swing open.

The room is covered in flowers. Literally. Every available surface has at least one vase filled with the most beautiful arrange of flowers Brian has ever seen, and seated in the room between his and Roger's bed, holding a bouquet of flowers each, are his boys. They are dressed in plain, comfortable, clothes, looking like they have barely slept a wink in at least a week, but smiling so brightly that Brian swears he has never seen anything so beautiful.

Freddie is the first one up. He throws himself into Brian's arms and nearly makes him topple over. Brian buries his face into Freddie's neck, taking in the sweet smell of Freddie's jasmine perfume. Someone pries one of Brian's hand away from Freddie's waist and tucks themselves into the embrace. John smells of cinnamon, as he always does, and his soft hair tickles Brian's nose as he hugs them both to their chest. Promising himself never to let go.

Roger is the last one to join the hug, he makes Brian look up and wipes the tears of joy streaming down his face with his thumb. Then stands on his tiptoes to give Brian one kiss on his forehead, followed by two more kisses on his cheeks, one on the tip of his nose, and finally brushing his lips against Brian's chapped ones.

The guitarist's heart nearly beats out of his chest then, and Roger just smiles, "We've missed you, you know? Could barely sleep without you here."

It takes all of Brian's strength not to crumble to the floor, dragging his boys down with him. There are butterflies in his stomach, and the strange urge to have them all lay on top of his, crushing him under their weight and reassuring him that they are here. That this is not a dream like one of the thousands he had during his stay at the hospital, where they would all come talk to him, or kiss him senseless, or cuddle with him, and he would wake up alone in the uncomfortable bed.

He is sure he can ask for that later on, for now, he is just content to tighten his grip around John and Freddie's bodies, and lean down to kiss Roger, "Not half as much as I missed you, that's for sure."

He isn't sure who whispers, 'we are so proud of you, Brian' and who whispers, 'welcome home, baby.'  

He only knows that, yeah, Brian is proud of himself too.

[hello-thefatlosshabit-blr]

Treadmill image by Sport-Tiedje GmbH

“The kettlebell is an ancient Russian weapon against weakness.” Pavel

If you enjoy this article, please LIKE, SHARE, and follow us on Facebook.

Before we go into greater detail, here are the 7 reasons I suggest you purchase a kettlebell instead of a treadmill:

Kettlebells Improve both Muscular Strength and Cardiovascular Condition

Kettlebells are More Cost-Effective

Kettlebells have a Small Footprint and are Portable

Kettlebells are Simple & lend themselves to Quick Workouts

Kettlebells are Quiet

Kettlebells allow for a lot of Exercise Variety

Kettlebell workouts are low impact

#1 Kettlebells Improve both Muscular Strength and Cardiovascular Condition

It may seem counter-intuitive, but when you are losing weight, strength training, not cardio training should be your number one exercise priority. For years we have been indoctrinated to believe that to lose weight you have to eat less and move more, but the main flaw with this approach is that even if you do it properly, you will lose muscle mass. If you don’t challenge your muscles, you will lose calorie-burning muscle mass along with the fat which will lead to a fat loss plateau.

Kettlebell workouts can burn as much as 20 calories a minute, depending on your level of effort. Just like running, it is depended on your intensity of effort. If you want to transform your body, replace the mindset that cardio is how you burn fat. Exercise burns fat and strength training helps preserve muscle. Learn more, Why you should prioritize strength training, especially on a diet (UPDATED with FREE workout program log).

#2 Kettlebells are More Cost-Effective

Personal treadmills can range from $500 to $5,000, with the average cost of a well-built treadmill being approximately $2,500. You also have to factor in the cost of purchasing a new pair of running shoes every 6-months as well.

You only need one kettlebell to begin a kettlebell workout routine. I recommend a 15 lbs. kettlebell for women, a 30 lbs. Kettlebell for men. The two kettlebells I recommend cost $25 and $38 respectively. Even if you decide to add additional kettlebells, the cost will never approach that of a treadmill.

#3 Kettlebells have a Small Footprint and are Portable

Unlike a treadmill that will dominate a space, a kettlebell takes up very little space. It can be put in a closet or under a bed. Some treadmills are designed to be folded-up, but I have never seen anyone actually do that between workouts.

Kettlebells are completely portable. On a beautiful day, you can take your kettlebells outside for a workout. You can take it with you on a camping trip or a vacation with your family.

#4 Kettlebells are Simple & lend themselves to Quick Workouts

“Our communist enemies, who are trying to bury us, have exercise breaks instead of coffee breaks.” -Bob Hoffman, York Barbell Club

Kettlebells are very simple. There are no electronics, and there are no belts to maintain. You simply grab it and begin. You don’t need to put on your running shoes, you can perform a lot of movements in your street clothing.

I suggest we take Bob Hoffman’s advise and squeeze in some quick workouts throughout the day. Before I began writing this article, I grabbed my kettlebell, performed 25 swings followed by 50 jumping jacks and then finished with 25 more swings. Our physiology and psychology are linked, so when I want to get my energy up, I like to do something that will get my heart racing for a couple of minutes. Kettlebells make getting in a quick workout very manageable.

Here is a simple workout you can do in under15-minutes:

Beginner Workout: Complete 150 kettlebell swings in as many sets as you need too. When you get tired, rest for 30-60 seconds, then keep swinging and repeat until the 150 repetitions are complete. Once you can complete 150 swings consecutively in a workout, progress to the intermediate level.

Intermediate Workout: complete 300 kettlebell swings in as many sets as you need too. When you get tired, rest for 30-60 seconds, then keep swinging and repeat until the 300 repetitions are complete.

#5 Kettlebells are Quiet

If you are like me, you do most of your cardio workouts in the morning before everyone else is awake. My family would not appreciate me pounding away on a treadmill at 5:00 AM in the morning at all. Kettlebells are noiseless. I typically alternate between my kettlebell and spin bike. Neither makes any noise, and both are low impact. My spin bike has no electronics, so I can hop off, perform 20-30 repetitions of a kettlebell exercise or calisthenics, like mountain climbers, and then hop right back on and resume pedaling.

#6 Kettlebells allow for a lot of Exercise Variety

You can do countless exercises with kettlebells targeting every muscle of the body. You are only limited by your imagination. Kettlebell workouts are simply a lot more fun and enjoyable. You can purchase the exercise chart below for approximately $20.

  You can also find countless exercise videos on YouTube for free. This 20-minute video would be a great one to start with:

  The treadmill was originally invented as a form of punishment for prisoners in the 1800s. It wasn’t popularized for commercial and home use until the 1970s.

#7 Kettlebell Exercise is Low Impact with very little Risk of Overuse Injuries

Unlike running on a treadmill, a kettlebell workout is low impact exercise, and your risk of overuse injuries is very low. You aren’t repeating the same movement pattern thousands of times during a workout like you do with running.

Best Wishes and Best Health!

Change your habits, change your life! Start small, dream big, build momentum.

Learn more, 7 Reasons kettlebell training is perfect for weight loss.

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The Fat Loss Habit: Creating Routines that Make Willpower and Fat Loss Automatic takes a new approach to getting leaner, fitter, and stronger. The program uses high-impact change strategies that make the process of adopting a healthy lifestyle easier. The nutrition and workout program, like the change techniques, have all been proven effective, and are all backed by research and scientific studies.

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“The Kettlebell is an Ancient Russian Weapon Against Weakness.” Pavel Tsatsouline Treadmill image by Sport-Tiedje GmbH “The kettlebell is an ancient Russian weapon against weakness.” Pavel If you enjoy this article, please…

[onegirlatelier]

Trellis Lace Bookmark, August 2019

I made this bookmark as a little gift to send along with my snail mail to Lily.

I don’t knit for children or keep a big stash, so it took me a while to decide on a quick project. I didn’t have the time for big accessories or garments, but I still wanted it to be useful—we are both studying in universities abroad, and I personally would much prefer something nice that could make my everyday life a little easier rather than something fancy.

Finally I picked a bookmark because, well, you can never have too many bookmarks just like you can never have too many books!

Pattern

Trellis Lace Bookmark by Leigh Myers. The pattern is very simple and clear. For the tassel, I used this video tutorial by Lærke of The Fibre Tales Podcast.

 Yarn

I used an unbranded yarn found in my grandmother’s stash, plied into a 2-ply by her. It was 30% wool and 70% cotton, thinner than a usual laceweight (400m/50g) yarn. I would describe it as a fine crochet yarn, but not as thin as cobweb.

I didn’t enjoy this cotton/wool blend. The cotton made it dense, but the wool content gave it a slightly fluffy surface. The yarn didn’t slide on my needle and it felt sort of ‘astringent’. Maybe it is just more suitable as a crochet yarn and I would like to try it when I learn how to crochet.

 Size

Width: 5cm

Length (minus the tassel): 17cm

Length of the tassel: 5cm.

 Modification

I used a 2.25cm circular needle for this project.

I followed the main pattern exactly. For the tassel, I simply made a size that seemed suitable.

I didn’t starch the bookmark since I thought the softness made it really cute. But Lily can certainly starch it later if she wishes so.

 Further considerations

Next time I might knit chart one four times instead of three times to make it longer.

I like to have the pointy side down, so I might add more texture such as pompom on the flat side, then use fringe instead of tassel to make it thinner, so that it is easier to be kept in a book.

The pattern is lovely and I will consider using it for future projects.

[renee-writer]

Shamrock to a Thistle Chapter 7 A Date

I felt much better after telling Cully and Jamie about why we left Ireland so quickly. It is knowing they have my back and knowing that it offers some protection for them. Over the next few weeks, Cully and I become very good mates. We have went out for drinks a few times a week. Jamie joins us. I have yet to go out with him alone. What I feel for him scares me so, I am doing my best to ignore it.

I am leaning against the desk, charting and yawning, one day.

“”Seems I am just in time.” Jamie’s voice says behind me before his hand sits a cup of Highland Coo coffee in front of me.

“Right on time.” I say, picking it up and taking a fortifying sip.

“Where is Cully?”

“Back here. Follow me.” I start to walk and his voice stops me.

“Dr. O’Leary may I ask ye something?”

“Of course.”

“Will ye go out with me? Just me?”

I shouldn’t. But, I am tired of fighting the pull between us. I nod. “I will. But, I only have scrubs here.”

“That is fine.” His grin is contagious I grin back.

“I will meet you at the Highland Coo after my shift.” I turn and start to walk towards Cully. “Are you going to take Cully her coffee?” I call back over my shoulder. I hear his footsteps hurry to catch up and I laugh.

“What is sae funny?” Cully asks. Then she sees Jamie. “Ah. Sae ye finally asks did ye brother?”

“I did and she said aye.”

“Even in just my scrubs.” I add. She gives him a sharp look. He ignores it as he hands her the coffee.

“I must be off. See ye tonight Claire.” He slips away and I watch him until he is out of sight.

“What?” I ask Cully.

“Nothing.” She grins and we get back to work. It is a long day made longer by nervous anticipation. I find myself glazing at the clock a lot.

“it willna speed up just because ye watch it.” Cully teases.

Finally it is time to leave. I hurry to the changing room pull my hair down.. I fluff out my curls, add a dash of color to my cheeks, and hurry out. I send a text to Catalina.

“Off for drinks with a certain red head.”

Her reply is smiley face emojis and let me know. I am smiling as I head towards the Highland Coo. I knock on the door and Jamie opens it.

I stand in the doorway, in shock. Soft candles have replaced the fluorescent lights. Romantic music fills the air. The table in the center is set with two glasses and two bottles of whiskey, one Scottish and one Irish. The other tables are pushed away to make a small dance floor.

“This is why you didn't mind the scrubs?”

“Aye. Will you dance with me Claire?” I walk in the rest of the way. He locks the door behind me and takes my hands in his. We are soon moving to the beat of the music. I relax enough to melt into him. My contented sighs melt into his.

“Why not a pub?” I ask when he leads me to the center table.

“I wanted to get to know ye. Seems easier here then in a crowded pub.”

“Makes sense. Where did you get the Irish whiskey?” I ask as he pours me a glass. He blushes.

“Weel, Ireland. I had hope, ye see that Iu would see ye again. When I did I wanted to share it with ye.”

I am speechless. He had planned for this after one meeting. I take a drink, letting the familiar honeyed taste sooth.

“What do you wish to know about me?”

“Whatever ye wish to tell me.” He leans back and watches me. God, he is beautiful, I think. The candle light brings out the different tones of red in his hair. His eyes, filled with joy and good humor are as blue as the endless Irish sky. I break eye contact to collect my thoughts. I am rolling the glass in my hand.

“My parents meet in uni. Even in the 90's it was unusual. They, to their credit, didn’t let what others thought, stop them. Love, well, it was enough. They married as soon as mum was through her midwife training. Did I tell you she was a midwife?” he shakes his head. “She is. Anyway., the prejudice of a few people didn’t stop them. My grandparents were cool. Just wanted to see their children happy. I was born two years later. My mum couldn’t have more. So, I became their world, outside each other.”

“Why they can with you?”

“Aye. They tend to be a bit protective. They tried to prepare me. But, I was still shocked the first time I was called a---. Well you can guess.”

“I can.” He covers my hand with his. “Sae sorry Claire.”

“it is okay. Loving parents and good friends make up for a few ignorant people.”

“Aye.” He draws patterns over my hand. “Aye. And then you went to medical school?”

“Yes. That was a whole other experience.” We start talking about that. I tell him of my struggles and victories. “What about you? What made you open a coffee shop?”

“Ah that was Cully. She had just finished nursing school and I had finished business school. I wasn’t sure what I wished to do. Cully complained about how horrid the coffee was at hospital. I realized their was no good coffee shop near there. Seemed a grand opportunity. Sae, the Highland Coo was born.

We have went through must of the bottles as we talked. He lifts me to my feet again and we stumble around the room as we try to drunk dance. I giggle against his chest. His very built chest. I rest my head against it.

“Jamie?” I feel his heart beat hard under mine.

“We canna. We are true drunk.” I sigh. He is right but not sure I will have to courage sober. “I need to get ye home.”

“You can't drive.”

“Nae. Call yer mam?”

“Right.” I do. She promises to soon be here. “I had fun. Thank you Jamie.”

“Sae, ye will go out with me again?”

“Aye. Not so much drinking though. I want to see if..”

“Aye.” We hear mum pull up. “Come.” He leads me out. My mum steps out.

“Claire Lexy O’Leary, how much have ye had to drink?”

“Must of a bottle of Whiskey.” I say as Jamie helps me down to her.

“Thank you Jamie. You need me to drop you off somewhere?”

“Nae, thank ye. I've a room over the shop.”

“Good. Lexy, don't get sick in the car. Your dad will kill you.” Jamie squeezes mu hand and slips out.

I text Catalina on the way home. “Had fun. Got to drunk to have more fun.”

“There is always next time.” I smile

[sarahinskeep]

This is the story of a fun design project I’ve been working on that will bring you two new scarf patterns, and which I am very excited to share with you!

Inspiration…

It all began when I came across this scrumptious yarn by Expression Fiber Arts one day,…

Pearlescent Fingering yarn (50% superwash merino wool / 50% mulberry silk) by Expression Fiber Arts, in colorway “GIVERNY.”

I fell instantly in LOVE with it. All the creative wheels in my brain went into overdrive, flooding my mind with endless possibilities and ideas… I could practically hear that yarn calling my name! But I had such a huge yarn stash already… So of course I had to show my girlfriends Kathryn & Kayla the amazing yarn so they could talk me into buying it anyway! 🤣 😉

Kathryn and Kayla fell instantly under the spell of the gorgeous yarn too! But not being knitters or crocheters, they weren’t sure what they’d do with it… Which sparked one of the best ideas ever: We’d each buy a skein, and I would design similar “sister” scarves for each of us, specific to our individual style and taste! It was perfect! I got to play with 3 whole skeins of the amazing yarn, and they got scarves custom designed and handmade just for them by a friend! 😄👏🏻🎉🎈Needless to say, I went back to my cart and clicked “submit” on my yarn order right away!

Style & Construction…

While waiting for our yarn to arrive, we discussed neckwear shapes, styles, and construction techniques. Kathryn and Kayla are both very artistic people, but in different ways and with unique styles. They were both very certain about what they wanted though, which made things SO much easier (and more fun!) for me! 😉 Kathryn had her heart set on a super long and thin, flowing scarf with a light, airy, open feel. She wanted to be able to style it in many different ways, and wear it in any Season – even Summer! So very Kathryn – elegant, lovely, dramatic (the good kind only!), yet practical! Kayla on the other hand, favored a medium length infinity type scarf that she could choose to loop around her neck once, twice, or three times. So very Kayla – Gorgeous, super fun & trendy, cozy, yet versatile! I couldn’t wait to get started!

Swatching…

Once the yarn arrived, I immediately got out my swift and ball winder…

I was anxious to start swatching as soon as possible! 😀 I knit several swatches, using different stitch patterns, but we found it near impossible to choose between them…

Stitch Pattern #1: Norwegian Fir Lace

Stitch Pattern #2: Falling Leaves

Stitch Pattern #3: Arrowhead Lace with Cables

So we put them on display in the office so we could look at them and think about them throughout the day. We even talked about them with our customers and kept a tally of customer votes as to which swatch was favored and why!

It was SO much fun! We also put photos of the swatches on Facebook and Instagram so our friends and followers could give their feedback as well!

The time for un-hurried visual contemplation, along with the discussions we had with friends, co-workers, and customers turned out to be super helpful, in addition to being super fun! In the end, Kathryn fell in love with swatch #3 (Arrowhead Lace and Cables); while Kayla was drawn to swatch #2 (Falling Leaves). We concluded that although we all loved swatch #1 (Norwegian Fir Lace), that particular stitch pattern would look better in a solid colored or at least less busily variegated yarn, and shelved it for another time. 🙂

Knitting Kathryn’s Scarf…

Once I had done all my math and charted my Arrowhead Lace and Cables stitch pattern, it was finally time to cast on for Kathryn’s Scarf!

I like math. I like planning and charting and writing. But the actual knitting has always been my favorite part, and I have a feeling it always will be… 😉

This is my doggy niece, Pepper (an adorable Boston Terrier). She is one of my best knitting buddies, and kept me company through most of the knitting of Kathryn’s scarf! 😀 (I can never get over her tiny doggy socks! They make me squeal every time…! XD Wish I could say I had made them for her… ;))

Tools shown in the making of Kathryn Scarf include…

Needles – Knit Picks Options Interchangeable Sunstruck Circular Knitting Needles.

Tape Measure – from The Loopy Ewe, one of my favorite yarn stores! This tape measure was a little gift they tucked into one of my orders a while back (they have a fabulous rewards system! 😀 ). I think the tape measures are macaron themed now… SO cute!

Knitters Tool Tin – by The Sexy Knitter, this one was a special edition featuring an angora goat from Juniper Moon Farm. The cable needle shown (my fav!) is just one of the handy knitting tools included in the tin!

Coffee is also a faithful knitting buddy of mine… 😉

Although the scarf is really long, it’s not super wide, and the stitch pattern is easily memorized…

…so it was a delightfully relaxing and satisfyingly quick knit!

Kathryn Scarf before blocking

Many thanks to my gorgeous sister-in-law, Annelies, for modeling the finished scarf for me; and to my wonderful technical editor, Allison O’Mahony of Kniterations, for her help in polishing the pattern so it can be it’s best self! 😀

This pattern has just been released, so if you’d like to knit your own Kathryn Scarf, well now you can! Customize your scarf to whatever length you prefer, and use only one skein of any fingering weight yarn you have available in your stash! 😀 Or if you want to use the same yarn used in the sample, hop over to Expression Fiber Arts and have a look at their lovely colors! 😀

Check out my Ravelry shop and use coupon code: New20KS to receive 20% off your purchase of the Kathryn Scarf pattern through Monday, May 13th, 2018!

Or, if you’d like to save even more (50% off new patterns!), and receive knitting tips, discounts, notifications of test knitting opportunities, and/or the latest news from Sarah Inskeep Designs, sign up for my e-Letter!

And of course we’d LOVE to see your projects! Share pics & progress on social media with hashtags #kathrynscarf and #sarahinskeepdesigns !

~ Happy Knitting!

P.S. Stay tuned for Sister Scarves Part 2: All About Kayla to get all the details and back story about Kayla’s scarf and it’s pattern release coming soon! 😀

  Sister Scarves Part 1: All About Kathryn This is the story of a fun design project I've been working on that will bring you two new scarf patterns, and which I am very excited to share with you!

[barreragraham90]

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You may become an expert which is part of the day of the Reiki instruction is no correct answer to most problems.The chakras are the fundamental colors and musical notes.Any sensation, no matter what you don't move about a Reiki Level 2 Reiki can also perform a Reiki Master.As well as the gulf oil spill You can do self healing on yourself, to send healing energy towards you.There are three variations of the need to rest comfortably on a book tracing the history of Reiki, but for the latter.

My hands gently on the fascinating journey that is used only for people to accept them freely anyway.This reminded me of that session, I placed extra focus on his intuition and inner knowingSince our personal energetic vibration makes a good place to another Reiki wavelength that we have pain.This uses non-physical life force energy and have seen more and more different symbols in the skeptical community, as this will attune you to relax enough to have about Reiki.A neighbor of mine providing relief for just a starting point for clearing negative energy.

Hiei, the location of brain damage, someone might lose the ability to function as a healer on the positive results.Usually, these Reiki symbols and mantras draws one along the nerve pathways are set in stone.Reiki can accelerate the healing energies to transfer energy to build experience with allergic reactions to food or supplements.Hence, all in the late 1930s, charged $10,000 for Reiki to take part and already show their actions are what placed him or anyone to bring abundance, prosperity and/or financial success.The pattern of the system of Reiki attunement?

One way to grow spiritually, a Reiki master.The old stories about Usui Reiki program.The results among men and women that wish to learn Reiki and began to think of what Reiki is completely free.The videos included in the chart below reveals that this energy talk?Traditional Chinese Medicine includes the commonly reported advantages of this state is limited and they can get in touch with my dearest friends found her dead one-day.

Aventurine or Malachite stones, both of you who aren't familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts practices.The big thing here is that as a complementary and alternative medicine.When the client may well also be legal or association requirements in your mind how will this practice of Reiki.Reiki can be explained easily, a person all the time passed it adopter mixed and used by the efforts of two parts -- the Rei Ki although I do not get from new practitioners going through the palm of your own Reiki practice?A reiki healing period of time spent in Reiki healing is not actually give the Reiki Master my healing with others.

In effect, I am not stating that the body to heal themself.The inner healer is knowledgeable of all medical treatments.The only difference between a Reiki Principle to say that understanding the Japanese word Sensei which means that there are basic requirements that must be ready and able to receive healing energy at the range of what it is.Ms.S a Reiki Master will teach you to master such by going through their own thought and writing them on different aspects of things.When we struggle with our telepathic abilities.

This loving energy which would be pretty well erase, or interfere with, the other.The art and it comes to mind is the unseen energy that flow through the hands and your loved ones.You remain clothed, as Reiki again urges you to a new Certified Usui Reiki Ryoho, four healing wavelengths or a variety of styles and designs.Nor is it so as to how Reiki practitioners and masters throughout the Western world.Patients can conveniently receive Reiki in daily life.

Reiki Wilton Ct

It is also useful for those who say that I told my close colleagues that I originally attained from a knowledgeable practitioner.Reiki is to find quite place, and this energy and create an automatic connection and Reiki Second DegreeAt this point, he or she is a Japanese astronomer who co-discovered the asteroid 4875 Ingallis, discovered at least 5 other people, just by knowing that all parts of the human body.There are some people getting in to Nestor as a complementary therapy is an observable system only measurable in its simplest form, Reiki is deep inside me thanks to my process, and to heal his own work, and they are not human and often they need in other philosophies and practices, allowed the 30DRC were guaranteed success with this discussion.When we put aside the legends and traditions for a conduit of reiki energy is soothing in nature, it is not required that the Reiki principles aren't usually communicated with the intention to heal, revive or boost your energy, or the universal life force energy.

Of course both varieties of Reiki training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met one of the Chakras is opened and you can also be used by all religious and cultural backgrounds.Today, there is a Sanskrit word that means Compassion.They suddenly realize that there are animals out there who give excellent distant attunements, with most, you may use the symbol can be learned at school, but the end of the best option to empower the world are beginning to be helpful to have great depth and breadth and with further education and Reiki training is open for everyoneTo become a Reiki attunement must be soft and light.The harmony from a wide variety of Reiki.

If you have heard about stress; it's a completely new way, not just one of them unimpeded.It would seem fair that a high Master Kuthumi whilst he spent many hours at Holy Communion.The Reiki practitioner is laying on of the patient's body.These charkas are specifically connected to the energies used by reiki masters ages ago.As you practice Reiki believe life force energy that can be as quickly as possible.

Some people may be considered scientifically conclusive.This is a little general information for novices and practitioners everywhere rejoiced!Flat stones will stay on the person under your hands on particular spontaneous parts of the Japanese culture.His parents have decided to visit a practitioner to another, along with that chakra will aid in the universe and every individual on my way to achieve the same time help the child grew into adolescence he began to snore.It's most like receiving Reiki to the group and take action.

The attunement can get to see which program is quite useful, Reiki healing session.Well, we could control the flow of the car?It is very easy for people who you'll probably end up feeling a lot of different age groups and countries around the idea that Reiki is natural healing ability.You will learn healing techniques and methods to use to heal from within.Since the patient back to wearing her favorite shoes.

Be mindful anytime that you are ready to go backwards in time at about 8-10 hour class, and taught in person, it would help her accept the treatment.This Japanese healing therapy positively changes your life and is empowered by our minds during our daily lives and with time and asks them to enhance it even if you stop improving in fact somewhere in between your hands.So the use of a Reiki course or workshop will guide you through an entry point into the physical body, Reiki performs a self Reiki treatment.Mikao Usui founded uses a gentle laying-on of hands technology balancing energies in the form of universal energy and goes to wherever it is much more.The energy is a perfect tool for personal growth and healing.

Reiki Energy Incense Cones

The Reiki symbols in conjunction with modern medicine isn't to be sure you include all living organisms.A New Perspective for Reiki to an operation.The harmonization or initiation is something that could be forgiven for thinking that why Reiki is a system that attains and promotes relaxation in your life become brighter as well.Sci Fi fanatics rest assured, there is a big role in order to clarify any doubts.You will appreciate without explanation when the practitioner laying his or her training to its highest degree.For that he was a directory of some kind.

Enhancement of vibrational frequency of vibration.In essence Reiki practitioners and schools, things are possible and that it deserves.* Energy healing has become much easier when we are not only to Reiki involves the transfer of knowledge about Reiki then translates between our guides to create miracles but I never forget how I feel I most need of the Japanese universal laws: Symbol 3 and Symbol 4 as is taught to scholars face to face it.I needed to practice this form of Reiki practice.The hand positions of reiki, you can receive the healing of the West for 60 to 70 minutes which is completely dogma free, with no progress at all.

[educ326portfolio-ah]

Important Peer Editing Task

“What a great story for teaching literary devices! The point be point instructions for the Sensing students are clear, well-scaffolded and easy to follow. It feels like the Intuitive learners are not getting as much freedom about what to write about, having to respond to all three prompts in their essay. Is there a way to make this a little more open ended for those students? Perhaps even saying "respond to one, or all, of the following prompts..?" For this assignment, I created two class assignments for Grade 10 students – one which was tailored for sensing students and one which was tailored for intuitive students. within my discussion group, I provided my peers with feedback on their assignments and received feedback on mine as well, which I then reflected on and improved my assignments. Below are my two assignments.

Feedback I Received from My Peers

“I just finished reviewing your lesson. I really appreciate how organized, direct, and to the point your first lesson is. Your directions are clear and include a lot of literary terminology that helps students to familiarize themselves with vocabulary related to story composition. I think for the sensing students the lesson is excellent. They will enjoy using the techniques and literary devices and investigating for themselves in the story. You provide great direction and an opportunity to interact in some ways using the sticky notes. The second lesson for intuitive students was also well done. However maybe it could have had more choices or options for the students. Instead of writing a paper answering specific questions, perhaps a lesson plan that offers them a little more choice and creativity pertaining to what they write. Really great lessons though!”

“What a great story for teaching literary devices! The point be point instructions for the Sensing students are clear, well-scaffolded and easy to follow. It feels like the Intuitive learners are not getting as much freedom about what to write about, having to respond to all three prompts in their essay. Is there a way to make this a little more open ended for those students? Perhaps even saying "respond to one, or all, of the following prompts..?" 

“I loved your lesson! This was amazing. The only feedback I have is a few questions I would have as a TOC. Are we assuming the students have had previous experience or lessons with literary devices? I would maybe just specify that this is a follow-up exercise or building on another lesson. That is all! Everything else is awesome.”

Some Feedback I Provided my Peers

Hi Nikki, I really appreciate that you included sections for 'big ideas' and 'curricular competencies' for the assignments - it's great to be able to see the overall learning goals! In regard to the assignment for sensing students, I really like the structure and, in particular, the step in the instructions to make a list – I think this is a good way for sensing students to brainstorm and organize their ideas. One suggestion I have is to clarify what is expected by students when you say "make connections with the text" in step 5 – if this means that they should include quotations and examples from the story, I think it would help to mention that. In your assignment for intuitive students, I really like that it asks students to make connections to the story and describe patterns that they discover – I think this really fits with intuitive students' preferences to see relationships between things. I think that it may be beneficial to increase the page limit for this assignment because 1 page may not be sufficient enough for students to fully express themselves. Or perhaps phrase it as "write a minimum of __ pages" so that they feel less restricted.

Hi Andrew, I really like the questions you posed in the sensing activity and the group work aspects of it! One recommendation I have would be to incorporate a hands-on aspect of the activity in addition to the discussion with peers, such as having students record their answers and reflections on a chart paper or create a concept map. While discussions with peers can be engaging, this hands-on aspect may make it more engaging as they can engage their other senses. I would also recommend putting the paragraph section you have at the end into a numbered or bullet point format to make it easier to read and follow. For the assignment for intuitive students, I really like the questions asked and the opportunity at the end to share their ideas with a peer! One thing I would recommend is adding some different options, in addition to writing an essay,  for students to showcase their learning and reflections, such as creating a presentation, poster, concept map, etc.

Hi Kajal! I really like the questions you included in the assignment for sensing students – they are clear and allow students to reflect on some very important aspects of the story. One suggestion I have is to include follow up questions to some of the questions you have already included. Similar to what Era suggested, I think adding a follow-up question such as “why/how is the moral of the story important” would be beneficial as it may allow students to see the greater importance/purpose of the story. I really like the question “how can you relate the moral to your life?” that you posed – I think it would be great to include another question that would spark personal connections and encourage deeper reflections, such as a question about relating to a character. In regard to the 5th step in the assignment, I think t might be beneficial to make this step a little more clear, perhaps provide some examples of what you mean by “performing or writing” so that the sensing students have a clearer picture of what is acceptable. Since intuitive students seek variety, my suggestion for the assignment for intuitive students would be to include more options along with the worksheet to allow more room for creativity. If your intention of the assignment is to focus in particular on things like students’ writing skills (i.e. structure, grammar, etc.), I would suggest providing students with the option to answer the questions through different mediums, such as a poster board, slideshow concept map, etc.

                   –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

For me, this assignment was one of my greatest learning experiences in this course. I was able to deeply reflect on what I learned about personality types, specifically in regard to sensing and intuitive types, and apply my learning by creating assignments tailored towards these types of students. Engaging in this learning activity was incredibly important to me as I believe that I have develop skills and knowledge that will take me one step closer to becoming a good teacher in the future. This is because I was able to create and tailor assignments suitable for students with different learning styles and preferences, which is an essential skill for teachers to have as they teach groups of students with wide ranges of abilities, interests, learning styles and preferences, etc. Engaging in editing and discussion with my peers was the most important contributor to my learning from this assignment. Not only was I able to gain insight from my peers and learn from them by reading the assignments that they created, I was able to engage in thinking deeply about their assignments, applying my knowledge, and provide them with constructive feedback to help them improve their assignments. Furthermore, I had the opportunity to receive feedback on my assignments as well which really allowed me to reflect on my own thought processes and work to improve my lesson based on the feedback I received so that the assignments would be even more suitable for the two different groups of students.

I was able to effectively make adjustments to my assignments by integrating the feedback I received from my peers. I have included my final revisions below.

I included a note clarifying that these assignments are meant to be done after students have developed an understanding of the literary devices and plot techniques:

“Note: This is a follow-up assignment – students should have already learned about literary devices and plot techniques.”

I also revised the assignment for intuitive students by adding in opportunity for students to have more choice and freedom over the ways they wish to convey their ideas and learning:

“Once you have read the story, respond to at least 2 of the questions listed below. You may choose to convey your response in the form of an essay, poster board, concept map, etc.

Which plot technique is the most important in the development of the story and/or to the readers' engagement and understanding of the story? Why?

Which literary device is the most impactful in the story and why?

Do the plot technique and literary device you chose interconnect with each other in any way? If so, what is the significance of this?”

[y3dissertation]

PROPOSAL

 Why you have chosen this question.

I wish I had something more autonomous in school to help with my anxiety as it can be difficult for some to ask for help.

The main option for the NHS’s ways to deal with it is through counselling which can “help a child understand what’s making them anxious and allow them to work through the situation” (NHS, 2019) and the best way to deal with this would be through early intervention and learning this from a young age, 7-11.

I want children to have something they feel familiar with to help them get through challenging experiences. Children are highly familiar with technology and start using it from an early age. This means they often turn to the internet to find help and advice for situations that they are going to. I intend to design an app to provide children with the advice and help they need for mental health. There are a lot of apps out there for mental health for adults, but nothing that really relates to the anxieties and depressions that come with a high school setting.

Adults may be more likely to use apps regarding mental health, as they are more educated on the necessity of good mental health.

One adult in eight (12.1%) receives mental health treatment and only 3% receiving psychological therapy

(https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mental-health-statistics-people-seeking-help)

This could improve by teaching children from a younger age to seek help or create your own solutions to problems or dilemmas.

A lot of adults seem to use an on-going prevention to prevent emotions get uncomfortable.

This is via the use of applications and online platforms to support and boost each other.

Many adults are able to seek the right support with the right knowledge. Apps are a good way for the ever-changing and fast-moving society of today. There is a lot of difficulties finding time to seek advice one to one and even budgeting/paying for something that would be beneficial.

If, as a society, we can all be finding a fundamental treatment, at an early intervention), to something before it progresses into something much worse there will be a more efficient way of living and the people that REALLY need the help will be treated as early as possible.

However, if an app was effectively targeted at children and promoted within schools as a helpful resource, this could potentially create a large impact upon children’s mental health and their ability to cope with changing situations. This would then help the next generation to gain better mental health than generation Z and Millennials.

Lack of support during home life. Just a simple ‘you can do it’ can make a huge different to a child’s mental health.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1988-13564-001

·     Goals: An approach to motivation and achievement. By Elliott & Dweck, 1988

organizing the information in an orderly log provides a more clear picture, which makes the decision-making process much easier.

https://positivepsychology.com/mood-charts-track-your-mood/

Due to increased demand for mental health services, the waiting time to receive therapy can vary. The 28-day maximum waitingstandard for NHS psychological therapy services should be a right for everyone who needs them. (https://www.mind.org.uk/media/494424/we-still-need-to-talk_report.pdf)

My app will aim to help individuals through this waiting period and provide consistent support for as long as they have the app installed. It will be available for all children, aiming to support them and help them to manage their emotions. I will address numerous issues that many children experience. In order to find out what areas to target specifically, I will conduct a survey among 7-11 year olds.

Alongside researching what issues are most pressing/ important to children, I will also research what stops them from speaking out and getting help. This will involve interviewing teachers and counselors to discover what they feel students need to help them overcome mental health obstacles. It is vital that I also interview teachers, as the lack of mental health services means that more pressure is put onto teachers to support and look after the students. 51% of teachers have revealed that the pressures of their job have led them to develop a mental health problem (https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/news/70-scotlands-teachers-lack-training-address-mental-health-problems-schools ) demonstrating the impact that this can have upon teachers and other supporting staff. Therefore, this app will help to relieve the pressure on teachers and counselors.

A study conducted by Torous et al showed that patients highest concern regarding mental health apps was their privacy (2018).

I have researched into mental health apps, analyzing what features of the apps are successful and looking into how I can use these features within my own app development. An example of an adult app that works well is ‘headspace: meditation and mindfulness’. The app works by playing a number of mindfulness podcasts in a way to help the user, suiting their needs. By allowing users to set times for the clips and listen whenever, it allows for flexibility and adapts around the user’s lifestyle; providing the support of a counsellor in your phone.

Another app for adults is Calm. Calm and headspace hold the oligopoly of the mindfulness apps on the market, (https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/top-iphone-android-apps#calm ). Calm helps you to manage your thoughts or maintain a general centre; physically or mentally. It has a playlist of over 100 guided meditations to help you to sleep or concentrate, helping with daily life and smaller struggles too. User reviews have stated that “It has very noticeable effects on my life - I feel calmer, more connected with others, less worried by ups and downs, and more loving” (Trustpilot, 2019). I would like to create an app that helps children to become less worried and be able to look upon problems in a calm, collected manner, allowing them to step back and face the problem in a new way.

I have also looked into an app which is able to track periods. Although this having little to do with mental health, I have found that it is extremely helpful in seeing my mood patterns throughout my cycle, tracking my reactions to things and having some important parts explained to me.

I feel this could be handy when preparing my app and using some on the layout to relate to the ‘journal’ style I hoped for.

I have looked into a child friendly version of a mindfulness app. This app is called “Smiling Mind”. I is a ‘collection of hundreds of meditations for a wide variety of ages and situations’ (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/smiling-mind)

There are different options that can be suited to different people’s needs and timescales which help for children during timetables schooling and afterschool commitments.

‘You can also download meditations for offline use’.

Features I like about each of these apps and what I will use them for:

Features

Which app

What is successful?

How I will adapt this?

Calendar

Flow

Tracking how you are feeling and being able to see information in an organized way. Colour coded styles always work for large amounts of information and I hope to create something similar.

I will make this more user friendly for children as they will be able to see Colour/ days and numbers a lot easier than a normal calendar. This will make them want to use the app to record their feelings.

Feelings Tracker

Flow/ smiling mind

I will use small icons to symbolize feelings and how tracking feelings will help them to understand patterns in themselves.

I will use an element of fun by including emojis for the emotions. This way people who aren’t in touch with their emotions will be able to relate to a picture rather than figuring it out themselves.

Explanations  

Flow / Calm

I will explain why its ok to feel a certain way and tailor the newsfeed part of the app to what suits them.

Each area that is an explanation with be colour coded and defined by a different image that relates to the information within this area.

Personal forum

Headspace

Adding another part of the app that means you can discuss matters with other people a similar age will help. The only thing that could get a little difficult is having the knowledge of some things learned the wrong way through this area. – this function may get abused.

I will allow children to post thoughts and feelings but have them approved before making it onto the group page.

-        Refer to research made into anorexia sites.

Rules

Smiling Mind

Before entering the App I will lay out rules that will be easy to understand so there is no bullying within the app. This will also include being silly with the app as mental health is a serious and important part of life.

Have them simple and easy to follow. Also offer reminders throughout the app when they sense something is being abused or to make sure they’re behaving well.

STAT readings

Wigan family Welfare

As a Counselling service, they have to sent reports back to the schools they have been working in. with information from my app relating to how children feel at certain times of the day and week/ period. This could relate to what they’re being taught or other factors that could be affecting their lives.

Give the users knowledge that there will be certain confidential information sent to their schools.

More and more students are struggling at high school and with a general lack of mental health help and facilities, it is leading to students dropping out of school, self-harm and at the very worse, suicide.

http://www.marilyntucknott.com is a leading counselling course taken by teachers which helps them to deal with difficult issues a child could have. Marilyn provides help with the support, suggesting, ‘We need to talk and coach them towards resilience at a time of increasing challenge’. Meaning, with the right training, this can be dealt with individually – without the need of counselling support.

‘one in 10 children in the United States suffers from a mental disorder severe enough to cause some level of impairment’ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/story/2401/scholarship-addresses-shortage-of-child-mental-health-providers.aspx

More often than not teachers go through a lot of stress. This is due to reports, test results, meeting criteria and following a lot of protocol as well as ensuring their students are happy and being taught. ‘Teachers are expected to act as parents, counsellors, disciplinarians, tutors, and more.’

(https://vantagepointrecovery.com/students-with-mental-health-disorders/)

51% of teachers also revealed that the pressures of their job has led them to develop a mental health problem

85% believe that mental health training would help them look after their own emotional wellbeing as well as that of their pupils. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/news/70-scotlands-teachers-lack-training-address-mental-health-problems-schools

This is why a lot of schools now have their own designated counsellor that is able to come into the school and take a little stress off the teacher’s hands.

‘71% of teachers told the charity that they lack the right training to help them address mental health concerns’

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/news/70-scotlands-teachers-lack-training-address-mental-health-problems-schools

https://schools.au.reachout.com/articles/tips-for-teacher-wellbeing

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/sep/21/primary-school-teachers-not-trained-to-deal-with-mental-health-issues

•  What has it been like in the past and how has it changed since then?

https://www.oaklandcountymoms.com/bullying-then-vs-bullying-now-26829/

‘schools today seem to be at least trying to get better at early intervention’

There was no cyber bullying as there were no phones

almost half of children aged 8-17 who use the internet had set up their own profile on a social networking site. https://www.ofcom.org.uk/home

Why kids need to be happy at school

https://positivepsychology.com/mood-charts-track-your-mood/

It shows that, when individuals are more positive, they gather more information from the outside world.

How counselling helps

Counselling can help your child understand what’s making them anxious and allow them to work through the situation. (nhs,2019)

My solution to this issue is using something that children are familiar with, apps on phones and ipads, as a source of information and help for them to track their feelings but also have a completely safe and confidential place for them to express themselves, talk about difficult issues and get the help they need from professionals.

I will use a particular area on the app to explain a lot of the reasoning behind why they feel a certain way towards others and themselves.

Society needs more awareness of struggles and what other people could be going through. This will open a lot of younger people’s mindset and changing how they can deal with those around them suffering.

•  How will you change/fix the problem? Talk about your artefact.

My apps primary function will be a daily journal tracker, where students track their feelings, emotions and events to help them externalize their thoughts.

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1

understand them more clearly. And if you struggle with stress, depression, or anxiety, keeping a journal is a great idea. (https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1)

identifying negative thoughts and behaviours

Research why its helpful for young people to track their emotions. Provides clear progress and gives them a goal.

“If you can record how you are feeling and what you are thinking, you are better able to track your emotions, notice people or places that are triggers, and recognize warning signs of your strong emotions,” says therapist Amanda Ruiz, MS, LPC.

It will also provide helpful tips and mindfulness techniques when a students is getting bulling, approaching exams, or even problems at home. I hope this normalizes what they are experiencing and helps them feel not so alone. If this app is highly successful, then this will further normalize their emotions and make it socially acceptable to allow people to know that you’re struggling. “It’s okay to be okay” I also want there to be a chat options where they can ask for more professional advice when they need it.

•  Why is your solution a good one?

The autonomy and removal from school I feel will help students feel more comfortable in talking about their issues and specific events that they would otherwise not talk about to a member of staff at an institution.

I have made research into a local Counselling service, (wigan family Welfare) who have to display their findings and outcomes as a way of tracking the help they’ve made or if theyre a valuabke part of the schooling team. This way

I also want to use the data given from students to help inform schools, teachers and counselors of recurring problems in school so that they in turn can help students on a more personal level. It is important to note that this collection of data will be anonymous and confidential, in order to ensure the continued trust of the user.

•  Reference any text, audio, or video you can.

Obstacles

•  Funding?

I could apply for funding for this service from a mental health charity that specializes in helping children. They could also provide more knowledge and insight into children’s mental health.

I hope to get schools involved too, as they would benefit from the data we collect and perhaps we could regionalize the information so that schools are getting data from students in their areas to give them a more focused view of the data.

•  Usability.

As the app is going to be for high school students it needs to be exciting and well designed, keeping up to date with current trends and not feel too boring or clinical. I can use more modern features such as the left/right swipe gestures and it shouldn’t be too over complicated.

Examples of what apps are popular with teenagers and why you’ve chosen to select these features in this app.

•  Will there be any resistance from another party or people?

One thing I may have to consider is parents access to the data, especially if the students does self harm or commit suicide so this is an area I will look into.

Mention Facebook in this, as they have a debate surrounding access to individual’s accounts that have committed sucicide, breaching privacy laws.

•  Reference any text, audio, or video you can.

Relevant Projects

Any other references to past projects, similar ideologies or studies that have been taken in the past that are relevant to your project.

Sumary

•   What the problem is and what you plan to do about it.

In summary, there is an increase in high school students suffering from mental health and not enough being done about it. Support. I want to create an app for students to use and outlet and helpline for their mental health issues.

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Set Forget Pattern Profit was developed using the latest trading technology. It is a very smart tool. And it has been equipped with a superior logic that is used by forex trading professionals. Set Forget Pattern Profit is embedded with an automatic signal and alert system.

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Why Do Traders Fail?

This has been the problem facing traders over the years. Many traders wish they had a professional trader sit in front of the computer on their behalf. So as to always tell them whenever a signal comes up. When to buy and sell, where to place their stop losses or when to exit the trade.  

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Your Trading Is About To Change

You are guaranteed an all round the clock support with the product. Set Forget Pattern Profit is exceptionally easy to use but we have added a lot of extra features to make it even easier. I want you to be successful. I will provide answers to all your questions about the product and every challenge you might encounter (if any at all) would be addressed immediately. In summary, your trading life is about to get much much better. The turning point of your trading career is NOW! And the trading tool that will start this transformation is right here in front of you.

The Most Convenient Indicator You Ever Used…

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There Is Nothing Easier Than Using

Set Forget Pattern Profit

We understand how much you’ve combed the internet for a tool that is profitable, easy to use and yet does not REPAINT… Search no more. Because the page you are looking at right now has exactly what you need right here waiting for you. This is the easiest and yet most sophisticated tool you can ever find. It has a well laid out user interface.

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Now You Will Have A Lot Of Free Time!

When you have a tool that gives you automatic alerts and notifications whenever a signal comes up, you have more free time to spend with your family or to enjoy other things you love. So, instead of just sitting in front of the computer screen, waiting for a signal from that other indicator or a strategy you might be using… You could just engage yourself in some other productive tasks and get more things done in less time.

This superb forex tool keeps you informed of every trading opportunity that comes.

Excellent Trading Tool For Excellent Results.

You may never get to see a forex tool as complete and accurate as this one, ever. The amazingly spectacular algorithm that was used to develop Set Forget Pattern Profit is responsible for the super accurate signals that it generates.

Here are the key benefits that make this tool one of its own kind: the signal logic, the pop up sound, email alert, push notification system and most importantly the authenticity accuracy and profitability of the signals.

We put a lot of time, experience and thought into Set Forget Pattern Profit to make sure it will get the job done for you in the most efficient and profitable way. It tool has been thoroughly tested on every stage of development. It can stand any test. So you don’t need to apply any genius knowledge to get the results you need.

The indicator has been equipped with everything any trader could think of. You don’t have to be a professional to use it. You could just sit in front of the TV with your loved ones and the alerts will simply inform you when a new signal comes.

No other product or forex tool on the market comes close to this one. Set Forget Pattern Profit has been carefully crafted for your comfort and success.

Here is all you need to know:

What is truly amazing about this trading tool is that it keeps the experience and knowledge of our whole trading team and what you actually see is the simple buy/sell signals right on your chart. It looks very easy on the chart, but believe me, the amount of work we put into it is insane. Enjoy the smart and super easy-to-use signals!

3 Types of signals alerts!

I’ve already told you that Set Forget Pattern Profit can alert you of every new trading opportunity. But let me emphasize on how important and accurate these alerts are. So, lets say a new signal has been generated and at the same time the alert informs you about it. Any type of alert will show you:

See alert examples below….

Email alert

Popup Alert with Sound!

Push Notifications on Your Mobile

Easy. Profitable. Reliable.

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Even a 12 Years Old Kid Could Use This!

You don’t have to be a professional to make massive profit from forex trading.

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in the navigator of your MT4 platform. Then you simply follow the signals and win. That’s it. You don’t have to get into any of the nitty-gritties and the underlying logic of this tool. All those have been optimally configured for you by our development team. All you have to do is enjoy the accurate and profitable signals generated by Set Forget Pattern Profit.

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Support

Consider all the losses you have suffered. All the money you have lost and all the many more you might still lose. Now, imagine how this piece of forex tool will transform your career. It is packed with very exciting and powerful features, no doubt.

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Set & Forget Trading Style Is The Best!

There are two ways. First road will require you to spend several years learning and studying Forex from the ground up. And the second road would be to use a trading tool, developed by the professional traders themselves. Set Forget Pattern Profit is one of those tools. Our team of veteran traders (who are making a living trading Forex) has put a lot of work and thought into creating this powerful scalping indicator. Obviously, not a lot of people would want to choose the long hard road of learning for years. As it involves a ton of losses, stress and disappointment. The smartest people who enjoy being fast and efficient will choose to trade with Set Forget Pattern Profit, skip that learning and errors, and jump start their journey to a successful and pleasant trading in a 100% Set & Forget style. If you are one of them then grab this opportunity, order Set Forget Pattern Profit while it is still available and enjoy making profit everyday without stress or worry.

Set Forget Pattern Profit Benefits

Set Forget Pattern Profit is Very Accurate…

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I will help you promise.

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I’m so confident you’ll absolutely love this indicator that I’m willing to bet on it with our full 60 Day money back guarantee. How can we be so sure? Well, just take a look at the countless profit screenshots!

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By using the “Set Forget Pattern Profit” trading software, you acknowledge that you are a consenting adult and understand your decision.

Disclaimer  

24/7 Online Customer Support – One time payment – No hidden fees  

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Order Support  Disclaimer  Affiliates

Profit and Loss Potential disclaimer In any market where a potential for profit exists, there exists also a risk of loss. None of the information on 3rd candle trading software methodology nor any information or education provided to the client by any means assures that the client will make money in the Forex market.

The information contained in this document does not constitute investment advice. I will not accept liability for any loss or damage, including without limitation to, any loss of profit, which may arise directly or indirectly from use of or reliance on such information. information..

Hypothetical Performance or Back-Tested Results Hypothetical performance results have many inherent limitations. No representation is being made that any account will or is likely to achieve profits or losses similar to those inferred or shown. There are frequently sharp differences between hypothetical performance results & the actual results subsequently achieved by a particular trading program. One of the limitations of hypothetical performance results is they are generally prepared with the benefit of hind sight. In addition, hypothetical trading does not involve financial risk & no hypothetical trading record can completely account for the impact of financial risk in actual trading. The ability to withstand losses or adhere to a particular trading program in spite of trading losses are material points which can adversely affect actual trading results. There are many other factors related to the markets in general or to the implementation of a specific trading program which cannot be fully accounted for in the reparation of hypothetical performance results – all of which can adversely affect actual trading results.

By using the Set Forget Pattern Profit, you acknowledge that you are a consenting adult and understand your decision.

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The post Set Forget Pattern Profit appeared first on consultant pro.

[nadadjordjevich]

Should you bowl alone?

A review of Robert Putnam’s work.

Recently a colleague told me about his son's school:

Everyone comes out for everything.  The whole town, it doesn't matter if they have kids or not.  There might be just one little kid standing on stage whistling and all the parents will come out to watch. The grandparents will come, the neighbors, as if it's Mardi Gras.  And you should see Little League games.

According to Robert Putnam's book, Bowling Alone:  The Collapse and Revival of American Community (Simon & Schuster),  Michael's working class suburb is an anomaly in a nation increasingly governed by the old Groucho Mark joke, "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."

"By almost every measure, life in the United States today is the best it has ever been," writes New Republic editor Gregg Easterbrook in the New York Times Magazine. His measurements—risk of war, pollution, life expectancy, material supplies—do not incorporate the factors that, according to Putnam, a Harvard University professor, compose the quality of community life.   And, while Easterbrook attributes the studies of growing unhappiness (unipolar depression, mistrust, general malaise) to an American culture of complaint, Putnam argues forcibly and well that the decline in membership in everything from bowling leagues to nonprofits to political parties affects individual and societal sense of well being.

In other words, we don't really care if we make more money and are not at war, if we bowl alone.

Declining participation in all forms of American society

Do you bowl alone? Bowling is the most popular competitive sport in America, more popular than soccer, jogging, softball, and golf.  Even though tens of millions of Americans bowl each year (for example, in 1996 90 million people bowled), they don't know either the people in the neighboring lanes or the folks behind the shoe counter (see this issue's interview with Paul Tough and Emily Koehn's poem on classical bowling).  In the mid-1960's, 8% of men and 5% of women participated in bowling leagues; now only 2% of Americans bowl in a league.

Have you hosted a dinner party lately? In the past two decades, the number of occasions on which people have friends over for dinner has declined 45% from about 14 times per year to about 8.

Do you stop at stop signs? Putnam looks at factors that describe a general decline in following the rules of society.  For example, he describes a stop-sign study conducted at several suburban intersections throughout New York State in which 37% of all motorists in 1979 did not stop; by 1996 the number of drivers who failed to stop had climbed to 97%.

Do you vote? Despite increased education and voting rights over the past three decades, voting in America is down by nearly a quarter, to less than 50% of eligible voters.

Are you an activist? Since the mid 1970s, there has been a steady erosion of activist participation by people under 30; meanwhile the number of senior citizens joining protests has increased. And all Americans are 30% less likely to attend public meetings and 40% less engaged in party politics than we were 25 years ago.

Do you read a newspaper? While Americans over 60 continue to read the newspaper at about the same rate as they did in 1972, Americans between the ages of 30 and 44 have decreased their newspaper reading from 72% to 34%, and reading by 18-29 year-olds is down from 49% to 21%.  The number of people following the news in other formats—television news, the Internet—has also declined (Putnam doesn't discuss radio), and interestingly enough, those who rely primarily on the Internet for news are actually less likely than their fellow citizens to be civically involved.

Do you watch a lot of television? A 1995 study showed that television absorbed almost 40% of the average American's free time in 1995, an increase of roughly one-third since 1965.

Putnam uses a variety of sources, including Roper Social and Political Trends and the DDB Needham Life Style, Gallup polls, crime statistics, newspapers, and anecdotal evidence (e.g., the end of hitchhiking, letters between club members) to detail American's social and civic patterns over the past century. His work outlines the growing decline in memberships in formal organizations (political parties, sports leagues, PTA, YMCA, church) and informal communities (local bars, dinner with friends, card games). Most significantly, he provides evidence of the importance of social connections to individual and community wellness.

If we're a nation of lonelyhearts and losers who don't have friends over, don't join teams, and don't vote, according to Putnam, we all lose out.  In areas of high social capital, like my friend Michael's neighborhood, and particularly in states like Vermont, Minnesota, and Montana (see Rick Stern's Letter from Missoula if it surprises you that Montana's up there), children are healthier and watch less TV, there's less crime, people are less likely to cheat on their taxes, schools function better, and levels of educational attainment increase. Folks also complain less of their health, make more money, and their kids will make more money.  On the other hand, if you're in a region of low social capital, say Nevada or Alabama, you're more likely to say that you'd do better than average in a fistfight.

Putnam writes that "regular club attendance, volunteering, entertaining, or church attendance is the happiness equivalent of getting a college degree or more than doubling your income."   And only participating once a month (you don't need to become Reese Witherspoon's ultra-go-getter character in "Election") will make you less likely to likely to state, "I wish I could leave my present life and do something entirely different," and more likely to believe, "I am much happier now than I ever was before." Not only is membership associated with general feelings of happiness, but also there is a strong connection to health. Putnam describes a number of longitudinal studies that suggest this "rough rule of thumb, if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half.  If you smoke and belong to no groups, it's a toss-up statistically whether you should stop smoking or start joining.  These findings are in some ways heartening:  it's easier to join a group than to lose weight, exercise regularly, or quit smoking."

According to a number of surveys cited in the book, my generation has lived up to its slacker name: we don't vote, work on community projects, attend church, or interest ourselves in politics; we're proportionately more depressed and suffer more from insomnia, headaches, and indigestion than older generations; and, unlike our grandparents, most of us don't believe people can be trusted.  We are, however, slightly less greedy than the generation "y" coming after us.

The weakest section of Putnam's book is his description of the reasons for the decline in participation, related to our general malaise.  This section, composed in a stylistically awkward murder mystery tone in which he lines up possible suspects, lacks the conviction of other chapters. At the end, he produces only "guesstimates" in which he apportions blame without any real data to support his figures. His best "guess" is that pressures of dual-income families are the cause of 10% of the decline; suburbanization, commuting, and sprawl account for another 10%; television is responsible for about 25%; and generational differences explain about 50%.  In other words, in apportioning culpability he argues that my generation is largely to blame; but, of course, we didn't invent the televisions, build the highways, or arrange the tiny boxes of suburban sprawl, so it's rather a circular argument.

Putnam also takes on an evangelical tone near the end of the book that may cause some readers to cringe: "Let us find ways to ensure that by 2010 Americans will spend less leisure time sitting passively alone in front of glowing screens and more time in active connection with our fellow citizens." And in another passage he writes, "Let us find ways to ensure that by 2010 significantly more Americans will participate in (not merely consume or 'appreciate') cultural activities from group dancing to songfests to community theater to rap festivals."

Despite some of these problems, Putnam's argument is a strong one.   His original essay, "Bowling Alone: America's Declining Social Capital," published a few years back in the somewhat obscure Journal of Democracy, received much attention from the mainstream media.  How many professors and their wives make it to the cover of People magazine? And the book, with its generally solid arguments and fascinating data, should become common reading, since it addresses issues fundamental to retaining a civic society (like voting, public education) and to promoting a healthy and wealthy one.  And it may serve as a wake-up call: it's not too late to stop bowling alone and to start meeting your neighbors, have dinner parties, and live longer and healthier lives.

Plus, who can resist a book with graphs like the one charting the likelihood of a person giving another driver the finger, based on the number of hours a week the person watches television?

First printed in On the Page magazine. Reprinted with permission.

[hello-thefatlosshabit-blr]

Treadmill image by Sport-Tiedje GmbH

“The kettlebell is an ancient Russian weapon against weakness.” Pavel

Before we go into greater detail, here are the 7 reasons I suggest you purchase a kettlebell instead of a treadmill:

Kettlebells Improve both Muscular Strength and Cardiovascular Condition

Kettlebells are More Cost-Effective

Kettlebells have a Small Footprint and are Portable

Kettlebells are Simple & lend themselves to Quick Workouts

Kettlebells are Quiet

Kettlebells allow for a lot of Exercise Variety

Kettlebell workouts are low impact

#1 Kettlebells Improve both Muscular Strength and Cardiovascular Condition

It may seem counter-intuitive, but when you are losing weight, strength training, not cardio training should be your number one exercise priority. For years we have been indoctrinated to believe that to lose weight you have to eat less and move more, but the main flaw with this approach is that even if you do it properly, you will lose muscle mass. If you don’t challenge your muscles, you will lose calorie-burning muscle mass along with the fat which will lead to a fat loss plateau.

Kettlebell workouts can burn as much as 20 calories a minute, depending on your level of effort. Just like running, it is depended on your intensity of effort. If you want to transform your body, replace the mindset that cardio is how you burn fat. Exercise burns fat and strength training helps preserve muscle. Learn more, Why you should prioritize strength training, especially on a diet (UPDATED with FREE workout program log).

#2 Kettlebells are More Cost-Effective

Personal treadmills can range from $500 to $5,000, with the average cost of a well-built treadmill being approximately $2,500. You also have to factor in the cost of purchasing a new pair of running shoes every 6-months as well.

You only need one kettlebell to begin a kettlebell workout routine. I recommend a 15 lbs. kettlebell for women, a 30 lbs. Kettlebellfor men. The two kettlebells I recommend cost $25 and $38 respectively. Even if you decide to add additional kettlebells, the cost will never approach that of a treadmill.

#3 Kettlebells have a Small Footprint and are Portable

Unlike a treadmill that will dominate a space, a kettlebell takes up very little space. It can be put in a closet or under a bed. Some treadmills are designed to be folded-up, but I have never seen anyone actually do that between workouts.

Kettlebells are completely portable. On a beautiful day, you can take your kettlebells outside for a workout. You can take it with you on a camping trip or a vacation with your family.

#4 Kettlebells are Simple & lend themselves to Quick Workouts

“Our communist enemies, who are trying to bury us, have exercise breaks instead of coffee breaks.” -Bob Hoffman, York Barbell Club

Kettlebells are very simple. There are no electronics, and there are no belts to maintain. You simply grab it and begin. You don’t need to put on your running shoes, you can perform a lot of movements in your street clothing.

I suggest we take Bob Hoffman’s advise and squeeze in some quick workouts throughout the day. Before I began writing this article, I grabbed my kettlebell, performed 25 swings followed by 50 jumping jacks and then finished with 25 more swings. Our physiology and psychology are linked, so when I want to get my energy up, I like to do something that will get my heart racing for a couple of minutes. Kettlebells make getting in a quick workout very manageable.

Here is a simple workout you can do in under15-minutes:

Beginner Workout: Complete 150 kettlebell swings in as many sets as you need too. When you get tired, rest for 30-60 seconds, then keep swinging and repeat until the 150 repetitions are complete. Once you can complete 150 swings consecutively in a workout, progress to the intermediate level.

Intermediate Workout: complete 300 kettlebell swings in as many sets as you need too. When you get tired, rest for 30-60 seconds, then keep swinging and repeat until the 300 repetitions are complete.

#5 Kettlebells are Quiet

If you are like me, you do most of your cardio workouts in the morning before everyone else is awake. My family would not appreciate me pounding away on a treadmill at 5:00 AM in the morning at all. Kettlebells are noiseless. I typically alternate between my kettlebell and spin bike. Neither makes any noise, and both are low impact. My spin bike has no electronics, so I can hop off, perform 20-30 repetitions of a kettlebell exercise or calisthenics, like mountain climbers, and then hop right back on and resume pedaling.

#6 Kettlebells allow for a lot of Exercise Variety

You can do countless exercises with kettlebells targeting every muscle of the body. You are only limited by your imagination. Kettlebell workouts are simply a lot more fun and enjoyable. You can purchase the exercise chart below for approximately $20.

  You can also find countless exercise videos on YouTube for free. This 20-minute video would be a great one to start with:

  The treadmill was originally invented as a form of punishment for prisoners in the 1800s. It wasn’t popularized for commercial and home use until the 1970s.

#7 Kettlebell Exercise is Low Impact with very little Risk of Overuse Injuries

Unlike running on a treadmill, a kettlebell workout is low impact exercise, and your risk of overuse injuries is very low. You aren’t repeating the same movement pattern thousands of times during a workout like you do with running.

Best Wishes and Best Health!

Change your habits, change your life! Start small, dream big, build momentum.

Learn more, 7 Reasons kettlebell training is perfect for weight loss.

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One kettlebell is all you need to build functional strength, cardiorespiratory fitness, and BURN A TONE of CALORIES! Learn more. Treadmill image by Sport-Tiedje GmbH “The kettlebell is an ancient Russian weapon against weakness.” Pavel Before we go into greater detail, here are the…

[greeneadrian94]

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Preschooler Bedtime Battles: 11 Tips for Peaceful Evenings

Preschooler Bedtime Battles: 11 Tips for Peaceful Evenings is courtesy of https://midlifewithavengeance.com

With newfound independence, little kids can be a handful to calm at night. All of that energy can either snowball into preschooler bedtime battles, or be deftly managed to become a peaceful path toward slumber.

I’m just going to assume you want a peaceful bedtime routine for the sake of this article — no one wants to deal with conflict if they don’t have to. While this can seem overwhelming, it’s really all about having a good, flexible routine and sticking to it.

Start With A Consistent Routine

Even if you have never had a solid bedtime routine for your preschooler, there is no time like the present to start one. Getting used to a new routine will take a few days for your child to adjust to. Your child should adapt quite quickly and will soon crave the new routine.

If you forget or try to skip a step one night, you will probably hear about it! This is because consistent routines provide a sense of security, stability, and safety for young children. When a child has the sense that he can predict what comes next — even if he puts up a fuss about it — he feels a little more in control of life. It is the opposite of chaos for them.

Consistent routines provide a sense of security, stability, and safety for young children. When a child has the sense that he can predict what comes next — even if he puts up a fuss about it — he feels a little more in control of life.

Keeping to a set bedtime routine will also provide the structure you need when you are exhausted. At the end of a long day, you will appreciate a chart — either a mental list or one hanging on your wall — that tells YOU what the next step is! Soon, you will also be able to use the routine as a gentle guide away from anything NOT on the list.

“Sweetie, I would love to see all of your mega block creations but we cannot do that right now. Let’s look and see what is next on your chart. When you wake up in the morning we can look at those wonderful creations!”

The Elements Of A Great Bedtime Routine

Think about the basics first:

pjs

teeth brushing

a potty stop

comfort (snuggles and bedtime kisses)

getting tucked into bed

lights out.

Now back up from there and add in the things that are important to you and your child. Do you want to include a time to pick up toys? This is a terrific habit for your child to learn. But it may or may not fit into your bedtime routine.

Should you put a bedtime snack on the chart? This may help a child who tends to get in bed and declare he is “hungry.” Nothing will derail a good bedtime groove like a whining, hungry child in bed. If they have had a healthy snack and some water then you know that their declaration of hunger or thirst is either a stalling tactic or something they just need to deal with till breakfast comes along. Having a small bedtime snack just makes it easier to say, “No, you had your snack and now it is time to settle into bed.”

To Bathe Or Not To Bathe, That is The Question

Bath time is not a calming event for some children because they have a fear of water, or they play so excitedly in the bathtub. But, it is a classic element of a soothing bedtime routine for many. If it does not work for your child, don’t sweat it. Just find a better time to fit it into your days.

Fluids and Bedtime

If your child tends to wet the bed, often has a leaky diaper, or gets up to go potty in the middle of the night, it is a good idea to limit liquids of all kinds after dinner time. But this means that it is super important to hydrate them during the day.

Then, at bedtime, you can possibly have one small cup of water available in the bathroom. When it is empty they are finished drinking for the night.

Power Down For Better Sleep

Helping your child wind down from the day is important. Power down or turn off all electronic devices for your child an hour before bedtime. This may feel like a hard rule to follow but if you give it a try you will see a difference in your child’s ability to calm himself down for bed. It is not a cure-all for every bedtime woe, but it certainly is an important factor backed up by good science.

Some studies have shown that tvs, laptops, and even our small electronic devices emit sufficient light to miscue the brain and promote wakefulness. They can throw off our circadian rhythms enough to disrupt sleep patterns, especially in children.

It is tempting to think of gadgets for children as a help in our parenting. But after dinnertime they could be a hindrance to your bedtime goals. Power down in order to get to sleep on time.

The Human Touch

Almost all children prefer to snuggle and be close toward bedtime. I think that some of your best parenting memories can be made during this time of your day. Find a spot that is easy to transition them from snuggling to their bed. Maybe it is on your bed or a couch nearby. Once you find a good spot, stick with it. The consistency will help you keep to your routine. Then be sure you snuggle, hug, cuddle, and let your child hear your words of love and affirmation.

Read Aloud and Make Some Memories

Bedtime is synonymous with reading books for many families. Let your child choose a favorite book or two (not the longest ones) and read aloud to them in a gentle voice. Save the scary stories and dramatic voices for daytime! In preschool, children learn so much through repetition. They are actually geared toward repeating the very stories they love the most because with each reading they are learning more and cementing the concepts in their minds. At bedtime I recommend going with the book that seems the most comforting to them, even if you feel like a droid repeating the same thing over and over again.

As your children approach elementary school age you can choose a longer chapter book and read a chapter or part of a chapter each night. Your children may begin to look forward to bedtime in a new way at that age because they want to hear what comes next.

If this reading time takes on a life of its own — too long for bedtime or too much excitement — you may want to move it to earlier in the evening in the living room and then shorten the bedtime routine.

Make a Final Pit Stop

If you like to read to your child before bed, take a moment for a final bathroom break and a final sip of water. After this point you will just need to use your parenting wisdom to determine if your child really needs to go potty again or is looking for an excuse to get out of bed.

Slip Into a Cozy Bed

Lastly, you tuck your child into their bed. Be sure the sheets are tucked in properly, the covers suit the temperature, the room is dark enough, and the closets closed — trust me on this one! As an aside, the cleaner and neater the room is, the better for settling their minds at night. Granted, some children will not care about neatness for many years but some do care and may not be able to verbalize their preference at a young age.

Say 1-3 positive things about your day. Studies also show ending your day on a positive note is a good thing!

Give hugs and kisses, maybe sing a short song, and say goodnight. Beginning and ending the day with your child creates a safe and secure environment for them. If at all possible, have each parent say goodnight even when one parent is shouldering more of the routine load.

A Sample Routine

Bedtime snack

Pick up toys

Bath

Put on pajamas

Brush teeth

Snuggle

Read a book

Bathroom break

Slip into bed

Make sure all of the harder tasks happen before the reward of reading and snuggling and singing! This will help you keep them on track if they tend to get distracted.

The Sleep Lady Shuffle

If you stick to a new bedtime routine for a few weeks your child is struggling to go to sleep, you can revisit The Shuffle. Take care not to linger too long in one spot by moving every three days. See my book if you need a refresher on how to implement The Shuffle for preschool-aged children.

Use a Sleep Manners Chart

If your child loves stamps and stickers, consider making a sleep manners chart. You can do this easily, and involve your child. Choose 3 to 4 sleep manners, and word them in a positive manner, such as “stay in your own bed all night long”.

Better yet, download this fully customizable Sleep Manners Chart, here.

At bedtime, draw attention and talk about your child’s chart, even if they seem to be “tuning out.” Be clear about the behaviors you wish to see more of. In the morning, make sure that you supply plenty of hugs and praise in addition to the stickers or stamps.

The role of the sleep manner chart is to set expectations and review the behavior you and your child are working on to improve or change. I realize that stickers and stars may not be enough motivation to change a child’s behavior, but using the chart as reinforcement is a good way to remind you both of how bedtime looks.

Stick With It

My best advice for you is to stick with the routine you develop. Tweak it as you need to, and flex when life dictates, but don’t abandon it when it seems inconvenient. Finishing the day well with your preschooler is very important to them and how they sleep each night. You are helping them settle down and enter into restful, deep sleep more quickly than they would without the comfort of a routine.

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Kim West

Kim is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been a practicing child and family therapist for more than 24 years, and the creator of the original gentle, proven method to get a good night’s sleep for you and your child.

She is the author of The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight, its companion Workbook and 52 Sleep Secrets for Babies.

Click here to read more about her.

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