#i wish it didn't affect me as much

[lostinneverland2296]

Not good. Really not good. How do I keep going when one of the people who made me strong is gone? It's been so hard without him. When I struggle mentally I turn to 1D for comfort, and I'm struggling mentally so much right now. I was like this before he passed but now it's just worse because the comfort I once got from him is just filled with grief. I'm struggling to keep my head above water at this point.

Now that it’s been a month officially since Liam passed, how is everyone doing?

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[savebylou]

Tagging funeral photos.

Is me again. Is it possible that if you post or reblog photos of the funeral can you tag them with " #funeral photos " so I can block the tag? I will be very thankful if you do it 🙏

I do want to read about his funeral but I don't want to see pics of the boys.

Sorry for asking this, I know is annoying, just in case it is possible. It will help me navigate better in this site. Please boost this.

[aquanutart]

I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!

The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!

The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!

The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!

And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!

I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!

Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)

[konohamaru-sensei]

Not to kill the big euphoria that's been in my dash since Saturday, but I (personally) did not like the ending of a rcane

[bellamygate]

the thing that gets me abt religious ppl is they'll demand u respect their religion & that religion hating your existence but they won't respect ur right to be like yea my belief says god isn't real so thats a dumb reason for hating other people or ye ok then ur god is homophobic thats kinda shitty they go APESHIT like. it goes both ways? like they can say i hate gay ppl bc of my religion but when a gay person says well i dont respect that religion bc it doesnt respect me its ww3. I'm not walking on eggshells for people who are too quick to condemn me to hell

[jabeur]

okay like the thing is that suicide jokes and such are probably not that bad or that big of a deal if you're not really suicidal but if you're For Real suicidal or have been before and are not doing well mentally and you keep making them and start finding comfort in the thought you could kill yourself if you wanted to. be careful

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[skynapple]

.

[stars-n-spice]

hey guys what the hell this isn't funny why am i grieving tech like he was an actual real person that i knew personally?

[lord-squiggletits]

What draws you so hard to pharma? I'm so interested in your takes and I'm curious what makes him ur number one cane of worms out of the cast. :O

I think all of the meta posts I've made about Pharma explain enough about why I like him from an analytical/meta perspective (wasted potential, hidden tragic hero, exposing Autobot hypocrisy, etc), so I'll go ahead and share a weirder/less apparent reason.

I wouldn't say that I'm so emotionally attached to Pharma out of resemblance/kinship with him. I don't really have anything in common with him beside some very broad strokes, and I liked him before an event happened in my life that sorta resembled something that happened to Pharma.

The only other IDW character that I've liked to the same extent, not just storywise but personal attachment, is Optimus. Both of them I've had actual real-life feelings over, gotten myself to cry IRL writing or thinking about, etc. What they both have in common are tragic, flawed hero elements, and (where my "weird" reason comes in) both of them have a near-death experience(s) and ultimately die at the end of their storylines with a murky/complicated finality of "did he die redeemed/remembered fondly by others/with people seeing his humanity." I'm a sucker for tragic stories, but it literally is the dying part, I think, that draws me to Pharma.

(Personal stuff under the cut)

A friend of mine died when I was a teenager, and after that happened my perspective on death completely changed. There was the grieving process of course, but their death also just made me ponder death in general... how it could happen, how it feels, what one might think in their final moments, what would make a death meaningful with resolution versus useless and unfulfilled? The particular way my friend died and the conversations we had before then meant that, for me personally, my friend's death left me with a permanent lack of closure on how/why it happened. I mean, I knew the literal cause of death, but I never found out (and probably never will) WHY it happened. If it was on accident or on purpose.

So, on top of all the other narrative juiciness Pharma brings, the fact that he dies three times (two if you think he only almost died on Messatine) makes me feel this indescribable way, more or less an intense empathy. I wonder how it felt for him, what he thought about while he was dying. If he wanted to die (and signs heavily indicate that him goading First Aid was a sort of 'suicide by cop') and if there could've been a way for him to not want to die. It makes me miserable to think of all the goodness he had and yet all of his deaths went basically unmourned and un-remarked upon by all except maybe two people. I look at his deaths not from a writing perspective but from an emotional perspective. His deaths were pointless, unresolved, had no closure. Arguably, both his suffering and his means of escaping that suffering were never healed or paid tribute to. So he makes me feel this sense of tragedy that no other character except Optimus did, whose death also invokes implications of suicidal ideation, questions on what the meaning of his life/death was, and whether he was mourned or not upon his passing.

So, reaching the end of this reflection, I guess the simplest way of putting it is that, without me even realizing it until now, I became attached to Pharma because he reminds me of my old friend.

[blujayonthewing]

so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude

[daz4i]

thinks "hm i'm craving some home made cake i should make some cake". gets up out of bed. agonizing pain. yet another way in which this wretched body of mine keeps itself from experiencing any joy..

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[lakemichigans]

fellow travelers is losing me for real WHERE ARE THE WOMENNNNN even queer as folk had main cast lesbians and straight women who existed as more than just plot development for the gay men

[monster-noises]

Ahahahahaaha love love Love getting Medical Anxiety triggered by over hearing something at work and fucking Finally feeling normal by the end of the work day only to come home and Remember It

Best time

Good vibes

My insides are vibrating at a daaaaangerous frequency and it's Not Helping