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sordidbask · 6 months ago

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My thoughts on the announcement of Life is Strange: Double Exposure

I'm going to preface this by saying I am incredibly conflicted about this title.

On the one hand, I am excited beyond belief that a new Life is Strange is coming and that MAX CAULFIELD HERSELF IS COMING BACK. The OG, the protagonist, the hippie photographer, the main character we fell in love with all those years ago. Her return to the franchise is something the fandom has been asking for (with varying degrees of toxicity) ever since Life is Strange 2 was announced back in 2016-2017. In the middle of all the fanart and the fanfiction, we always thought a new Life is Strange with Max and Chloe was an impossibility and that was something we had to come to terms with for years. Past Sordidbask had resigned himself to a timeline where any piece of LiS media featuring Max and Chloe outside of the first game was only possible in fanworks and too troublesome to bring to canon. Not anymore, biatch. I am one of the Bae over Bay supporters but that ending was noticeably lacking in development and felt way too open-ended to give any sense of resolution to a storyline that spanned five chapters and dozens of different choices. As such, seeing her return (even in a brand new unrelated story) is the perfect opportunity to tie up loose ends from the first game and to see how Max has evolved as a CHARACTER given everything she went through in the original and to which exciting new places will Double Exposure take her.

This leads me to my main gripe with this new chapter in Max's life: Deck Nine.

Not gonna lie, when I watched the trailer and saw their logo instead of DONTNOD's, my initial excitement at seeing Max (once again voiced by Hannah Telle, let's go!) died down way too much. Beats me why DONTNOD has given up on their baby franchise but whatever reason it may be, Deck Nine is now at the Life is Strange helm. If it were up to DONTNOD, the franchise would have ended with Life is Strange 2. That said, comparisons are ugly but clearly DONTNOD's titles are superior to Deck Nine's.

Life is Strange 1 and 2 and even Captain Spirit, for all their flaws are more cohesive, well thought out and overall charming stories with more interesting characters than True Colors or Before the Storm (and at least some choices matter at the end of LiS 2, that can't be said for LiS 1, TC or BtS).

And I don't mind Deck Nine doing their own thing in this universe (True Colors) but them taking a fan favourite and a loved by all character from its original creators and from the place we initially met her scares me way too much. I don't mean to say they will ruin Max's character because that would be unfair but Deck Nine's games always seem to follow the same formula, a lackluster murder mystery where our choices ultimately lead up to a binary choice at the end. I guess I am terrified that D9 is hyping up Max's return after so long only to 🤡 us and put her in a lazy, drab, boring or uninteresting place.

To be honest, the most exciting part about that trailer was Max and Hannah. I did not care for this new friend character that gets killed off or any other D9 character for that matter at ALL. That may be unfair but given D9's track record with unremarkable, unimpressive and not bold enough stories, I have come to expect very little of them (other scandals not withstanding).

I can't help but wonder, since Max is going to use her powers again, is this going to be another time-travel story? Does D9 know how to pull those off? DONTNOD showed masterclass storytelling regarding time travel and it's consequences developing the themes brilliantly and with the amount of tragedy, inevitability, heartbreak and acceptance these stories always carry. That was imprinted all over LiS 1 and it's characters, Max's power was an ironic echo of her character flaw, she couldn't move on, she was nostalgic, she lived in the past. Her power is who she was in LiS 1 and I'm very interested to see how will Max using her powers again be handled in Double Exposure character-wise, story-wise and theme-wise.

Regarding Max's design, it's okay. I think people overreacting saying it doesn't look like her and calling her ugly are just trolling. She does resemble Steph more this time around. Deck Nine's style has already worn me out (this game looks too much like True Colors) where I wanted to see an improvement to the engine or even a brand new style, more handcrafted and more akin to the lighting in a bottle style and charm that LiS 1 had.

I believe it all comes down to that, the lighting in a bottle that was LiS 1 and Max with which we fell in love that I'm afraid D9 may not be able to live up to.

Regarding the elephant in the room: Where's Chloe? I'll choose to believe Deck Nine is keeping their cards close to their chest and not showing anything remotely associated with Chloe until the game releases because if they don't fear success, they will find a way to incorporate Chloe into this story in a way that feels essential, important and coherent to Max's character development as well and not just an afterthought or a cameo/mention when looking at an item. All of this taking into account all the theories we're seeing regarding the "parallel timelines", the Double Exposure title and the binary choice at the end of LiS 1.

If they don't mention or include Chloe at all, it would be a gigantic wasted opportunity and personally, a game-killer for me.

All of this makes it seem like I'm just spewing pessimism. But I want to be excited for this title, I love seeing everyone happy and glad Max is back and I love seeing how passionate and loving this community can be (mostly) every time a new chapter is announced for this little franchise that has changed our lives. I love Max, I love Chloe, I love this franchise and these characters.

If D9 is the only reason we are getting new Life is Strange games with our beloved characters in the first place then I am grateful to them but I won't settle for anything less than this franchise and these characters deserve. The bar set by the first game:

A rich, well crafted, engaging and meaningful story with deep and charming characters and themes that resonate in the audience. A memorable installment.

Not another stab which is uninteresting, unremarkable and forgettable but with Max as the MC.

D9 can choose which they want to make but by including Max they sealed their fate and are now forced, OBLIGATED to make the former option. This game may be superior to True Colors, I want it to be so much more than True Colors was and I hope D9 are able to pull it off.

Max and Chloe deserve it.

Thanks for reading.

#life is strange #pricefield #chloe price #max caulfield #max and chloe #life is strange bts #life is strange true colors #life is strange 2 #dontnod #deck nine #square enix #life is strange double exposure

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attemptinghaikyuu · 3 years ago

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Joking About Dating A Friend But They Take You Seriously

A/n: woohoo, we’re doing another one babbyyy! I’ll never get tired of these sorts of situations honestly <3

G/n reader

Team Captains (most of them~)

Kuroo Tetsurou

He was walking behind you, about to tap your shoulder, witty conversation starter at the tip of his tongue one he totally hadn’t prepared a day beforehand, only to be hit with you saying “Wow, look at you! A fantastic boyfriend i have indeed.”

Reals back, all thoughts flying out of his head

All internal excitement dissipates as panic and dread take its place

You had introduced Kuroo to the guy you were calling your boyfriend, saying you were only friends and yet…

How come he didn’t know? Him and you were close to each other, right? Had he been so deep into your smiles and pretty eyes that he had misread everything? Maybe he had made up the little signs that meant you felt the same

It was probably his feelings making him a lovesick fool

That thought stuck with him the most because that made him pretty delusional if he got everything this mixed up

He has so many questions rattling in his brain, pinning him down, that he doesn’t realize you’ve turned around and are staring at him

It takes your hand waving back and forth in front of him to startle him out of his trance

His panic doubles, voice strained

“Ahh, hey there kitten. What’s new?”

It’s missing his usual excitement and he sounds strangled, you notice right away that he’s also turned away from you

“Tets are you all good? Are you sick, I could get you some medicine if you aren’t feeling well?”

“What no, I’m not- you don’t have to do any of that, I’m better than I could ever be.” He chuckles and he knows he’s not being convincing in the slightest

“Huh, I’ll get the truth out of you in a sec, I’m gonna say bye to my friend and then we can go, okay?”

“Don’t you mean boyfriend.” It comes out before he can stop himself

The bitter tone is so obvious he’s tempted to bolt, maybe start over as a circus clown

He’s positive he could pull that wig off

Your voice is laced with laughter when you ask if he really does need to go see a doctor

“And what boyfriend?” You pause, smile growing. “Are you talking about yourself or what?”

Now he’s flustered and confused. It’s not like you didn’t talk like that with him but you had a boyfriend now didn’t you or was that..?

“WAIT EARLIER YOU-

He takes a deep breath, he could be wrong, he needs to stay calm

“We’re, we’re you just kidding around when you said your friend was, well ya know?”

You laugh again and explain, slightly embarrassed by the mishap, that yes you were kidding around

He feels all of his confidence come back and asks the question that leads to you two finally dating

“If that’s the case and the spot really isn’t taken, how about I become your boyfriend?”

Bokuto Koutaro

He. Is. Crushed.

Everyone around him can feel the tense atmosphere and looking at his face is like a punch to the gut with his heartbroken eyes, he’s staring at you like you’ve died instead of said you loved your girlfriend

All bokuto had wanted was to give you a quick hug before he headed off to practice

Instead he has to deal with the weight of knowing you’re with someone else, that and the realization that he needs to put away his own feelings so he doesn’t ruin your relationship with the person you love

He had known he liked you for quite awhile, it was hard figuring out a time he should confess or whether that would make you uncomfortable

He’s glad he never tried anything since it saved him from the possibility of making things hard for you, seeing as how you would’ve had to let your friend down

Bokuto looks at you closely, there’s a grin on your face as you stare at her and if you’re happy then he can live with this

That’s what he firmly thinks

And so pulling himself up with a smile, he walks over to you with a solidly convincing amount of energy

He talks excitedly and almost exactly like he would normally

What he’s saying doesn’t sit right with you though

His words are depressing and he looks like he’s forcing himself to talk like this

You stop him in the middle of a joke, that wasn’t all that funny with the sad way it was being told, and ask if he’s okay

His smile gets even bigger, and now you can see it’s clearly fake as he gives you some excuse about training being harder on him lately

You decide to wait and give him a little space, you assume he’ll walk off to volleyball practice, and later you’ll be able to talk with him about whatever’s going on

When he keeps talking and it becomes clear he’s not moving, stalling for time, you ask if you can talk alone with him

“Bo, is um, did something happen? You’re upset aren’t you?” You question him cautiously

“Nope! I’m just glad I get to talk with you, it’s not something I’ll be able to do as often since you have to spend time with your girlfriend and all!”

His smile finally slips as what he said hits you both

You’re quick in explaining the mistake now that you know what’s eating away at him

He can’t believe his luck when he hears you say it was just a joke, it’s too good to be true

But he doesn’t care, he’s just happy

Doesn’t even let himself process it all before he’s asking you to please, think about dating him

You’re both glad his smile is back to normal when you say you’d love to

Kita Shinsuke

Keeps it together like the seemingly impassive and parent friend that he is

Hurts so much more then he wants to admit

Doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but if you say that you have a partner, than those are the facts and he can’t change anything

But shit, does he wish he could

He’s standing right next to you, a step away and if he took it you would be pressed against his side

That’s an impossible reality, a fantasy he needs to put to rest now that he knows your feelings for someone else

That step however, is ungraciously closed when you trip backward from what appears to be your partner moving their foot as you had moved forward, resulting in you falling onto Kita

Instantly flustered by it and is feeling so betrayed by his body when he automatically puts an arm around you to keep you upright

He tries to be respectful as he removes himself from your side, it isn’t right for him to be that close to you, he’ll just have to push down the disappointment he feels from the lack of contact

“Kita-kun! I’m really sorry about that, my friend” you give a pointed glare towards the person of your affection. “accidentally knocked me into you.”

He gives a small smile at you, slightly unsure as to why you would address your partner as just your friend

If he’s being truthful, he doesn’t want to think about it anymore and that’s why he allows himself to shrug off the strange event

He acts like he always does in the next couple days, though the aggressive lilt in his voice that appears at any mistake he spots, gives away his frustration

His feelings are boiling over the surface and he realizes he needs to find a way to get over this

The best way to do that, he concludes, is to tell you his feelings so he can take the rejection and move on

A resolution that he puts into motion the next time he’s with you

He does it simply and tries to make it as small and meaningless as possible

“Thanks for listening to this, I know it must be difficult to deal with.”

You’re speechless and Kita wishes this could be easier but he steels himself for what’s about to come next

“I- Kita, I know you’re not and I apologize in advance, but are you a dumbass?” You’re expression is both mortified and happy and he really doesn’t know what’s happening

“I like you. I was messing around with my friend and I promise you, I will never be doing that again.”

Oh, Kita is so relieved and the first thing he does when you become official is pull you in for a hug

And he’s gonna keep pulling you in for hugs :3

Ushijima Wakatoshi

His surprise is on full display and he ends up staring at you so intensely you automatically come up to ask him what was wrong

Isn’t sure how to put into words how he feels at the moment

You are your own person, so he shouldn’t feel any right to being the one to call you his partner

Yet he can’t stop the disappointment from filling every part of him

Ushijima wants to be mature about this though, If you think that girl is good enough for you then he will live with the heartache

So he shakes his head and comes up with a small excuse for his behavior

He seems normal to most in the following week, quite and stoic, more silent around you than he’s probably ever been but nothing really out of place per say

However his annoyance with your girlfriend only grows when he sees that you are not being treated how most would in a romantic relationship

He’s had enough when he hears her tell you about this pretty girl she saw the other day

She’s all casual and smiles when she says it too

Walks over, taps your shoulder, and asks if you can talk in private

It wasn’t right and he was 100% calm when he explained why he thought you weren’t being treated right

And he definitely wasn’t a little jealous and using the way your girlfriend was acting as a way to see if he could prove he could treat you better

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being completely rational when he was making his points as to why you should maybe, just possibly reconsider the whole dating your girlfriend thing

But the fact that she hadn’t held your hand was very important and he needed you to know that

He needed you to know that you shouldn’t have to listen to the one you cared for like that, speak of another person they found good looking, especially when the most attractive one was you

Ushijima doesn’t know how to take your silence when he finishes, and you seem… embarrassed?

Had he gone too far? Over stepped a boundary in his jealousy?

He was considering an apology for his rash behavior when you spoke up, though it was more appropriate to call it spoke down with the way you had your head lowered and voice quiet

“Toshi, did you mean all that?”

He’s not sure where this is going, he responds honestly regardless

“Yes, I meant it and I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He doesn’t apologize for insulting your girlfriend tho~

“Then you should probably know that I was only playing around when I said I was dating my friend. We’re not together.” You finally look into his eyes. “I’m pretty single and uh, if you really wanna help me in my dating problems you could date me, that’d fix them all.”

The slightest blush appears on his cheeks and when he reply’s with his yes, it’s almost like a happy sigh

He makes sure to show you how much he loves you everyday, he’s also still slightly bitter around your friend <3

Terushima Yuuji

Freaking out

He is having a hardcore internal screaming sesh

Walks away from you so he can pretend he didn’t just hear that

Also wants to make sure you don’t see him panicking

He finds a place where he’s alone, a field outside the gym he had been in, that is till he’d heard you talk to your boyfriend

Who was apparently, very entertaining if the way you had been laughing was any indication

Stands there, blank for a few seconds

Is so set on not crying over something like this because he knows that you’re amazing and shouldn’t be so surprised over you dating some other dude

He should go back inside and act like he always does, or maybe not since you are with your boyfriend

He’s being stupid, acting this overworked

It’s what he tells himself but he can feel a couple tears slip down his cheeks and there’s a sob bubbling up in his chest against his will

This didn’t feel fair

He wants to do something, he just doesn’t know what

Pretending he’s fine would be a good option if he could stop crying

It’s not looking feasible at the moment however

Takes a shaky breath and is coming to the decision he should leave you alone for now when he hears his name

Someone’s calling him, someone who absolutely cannot see him right now

He starts sprinting, but the thing about crying is that it’s pretty exhausting and before he knows it he’s gasping for breath, too slow to move out of your reach

“Terushima! Why would you-

You stare at his tear stained face, concern pulling your features into a deep frown and he desperately wishes he wasn’t the cause of it

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask the question softly, making it all hurt a little more

His eyes are closed when he replies. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty head with.”

“Whatever it is I won’t judge and if you want advice or someone to just listen I’m listening.”

“You, it’s really not..” he breaks. “Are you really with that guy?”

It’s none of his business, why’d he have to ask that?

Understanding lights up your face, and with the new information having connected the dots you move closer to him

“I’m not. He and I were joking, so please don’t cry.” He feels a hand wipe a stray tear from his face

“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime,” you laugh a little. “I hope I didn’t completely misread this, if I did I suppose we’d be matching.. and I wouldn’t mind so much if that was the case.”

He answers by grabbing your hand.

“That answer shouldn’t have been so cute, I’ll forgive you by taking you up on that date though.”

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cqlfeels · 3 years ago

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I'm losing my mind over Wei Wuxian's death in the novel. I mean his death in the drama is very clear, no question, but in the novel it's quite ambiguous, isn't it?

It is assumed that Wei Wuxian died by his ghost army turning against him after he destroyed the Stygian Amulet. But it's just a brief mentioning of how happend, and not from wei wuxian himself, and I think that was the assumption of the people, and we all know we can't trust of rumor in that world.

Then Lan Wangji in the donghua confirmed that he knew Wei Wuxian did not die from his ghost army. And Wei Wuxian avoids the question, like he doesn't want to tell him how he died, maybe because it's too sad.

I mean, yes, the destruction of the amulet was the cause of his death, I understand this, but it was a conscious choice or an accident? Wei Wuxian should know that if the amulet is gone, he would no longer be in control over the angry ghosts and they would rebel against him. So it was a deliberate death? The price to pay? He didn't want that dangerous amulet ended up in other hands.

I'm saying this because in the novel he also mentioned that they tried to summon his soul, but he did not respond. So he didn't want to return to the living. And after he was forcibly summoned, he also made a sarcastic comment that the living refused to let him “rest in peace”.

This makes me believe that he wanted to die and to stay dead even in the novel. But I'm open to other interpretations, since the description of his death is so short and assumed by other people.

Thank you to read my endless doubts!

Oh no anon I'm so sorry for having taken an embarrassing amount of time to get to this ask! But it was such a good ask that I wanted to give it some attention!

Okay so WWX's death in the novel fascinates me. "Wei Wuxian is dead" is both one of the first things we read and the incident without which the novel can't happen. It's at the core of everything, but we just... Don't know much about it. Which plays into the themes of the novel!! What can we know, anyway? WWX is an extremely unreliable narrator, so even if he did outright say in the narration "This is how I died" we wouldn't know for sure that's something we can trust. Would he be telling all the facts, or just those relevant to the scene at hand? Even if he was telling all the facts, how would his emotions about it impact the way he told us this, and how can we take that into account?

In reading MDZS I'm reminded often of Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie? Basically, that book has a structure where each chapter features a different character being interrogated about the murder of the title. It's up to the reader to discern, among things the characters know and don't know, are trying to hide or to highlight, feel strongly or don't care about, what the true version of the events is. This being a mystery novel, of course by the end of the book we're handed on a silver platter the full explanation of the hows and the whys that is The Official Author Explanation™️ that is inherently trustworthy as per genre conventions.

The difference is that MDZS robs us of that. There are mysteries within mysteries in the novel, but MXTX deliberately withholds any sort of inherently trustworthy narrative, while repeatedly cautioning us to not say "I understand" or "I know" unless we're sure we have all the facts - and even then, that's a risky thing to do.

I suspect MXTX does have an idea of how most mysteries of her novel are solved (maybe even all), but tbh what I love is that she doesn't give us the satisfaction of knowing these answers. MDZS lacks many resolutions. They're not plot-holes, it's not that it's impossible to come up with theories explaining her whole plot - it's the opposite. It's so easy to come up with opposing theories, but it's pretty damn near impossible to categorically find a theory that you can prove beyond reasonable doubt.

So this - gathering what WWX says about his own death, what other people say about it, what is said about other deaths, what is not said at all - is just so much fun for me. There are a thousand puzzles small and big that you could play with in this story. I mean, suppose you get WWX's death right. You immediately run into the MXY problem: we have a main character who kickstarts the entire plot, but what do we know of him except for rumors? WWX bases his understanding of him on his journal, but do we know for sure MXY wasn't writing the journal for WWX? You'll end up walking in circles because good luck finding passages where you can assert "This is MXY" without fear of getting caught in the trap all characters do in this novel: to equal your own beliefs and suppositions to an objective truth.

All of this is to say that this ask makes me super happy! But I can't for my life tell you "Oh this is what is going on, this is what you've missed, this is the key to the central mystery" because the novel tries so very hard to make sure I don't do that, that I feel it's a waste of fun to get too attached to any one theory. I'm with you that I think WWX did want to die and did want to stay dead (though I'm not entirely sure on the exact mechanics - was it active or passive suicide, if it was a suicide indeed?), but like. I'm basing this on my understanding of WWX, and uh.... Ask LXC what a rock-solid foundation "I'm pretty sure I know this person" is for a theory! So yeah. I'll take my cue from NHS instead and just repeat I don't know I don't know I don't know.

#long post #anon: hey do you know how this went?#me: Can Anything Be Truly Known #sorry anon

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watermelonlipstick · 4 years ago

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Dreams, Chapter 11

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 11

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2616

Summary: Another dream makes things more clear for the reader and less clear for Sam.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, s l o w b u r n

The booths are those plastic-coated pressboard swoops that are so easy to clean, one row down either side of the long room once you walk past the counter to order. Like other pizza places, there are red pepper flakes and grated parmesan on the table, but they also keep ranch dressing in a minifridge behind the counter as a concession to Midwestern sensibilities. You know you’re just outside Dayton just like you know the pizza shop is run by a family, father and two older teenage daughters deftly throwing dough and scattering cheese evenly over it in a way that shows their years of practice. Dean sits across the table with his elbows on it, one forefinger and thumb picking through a plate of nachos between you. His black t-shirt, amulet, and lack of flannel make you notice the hum of the air conditioner in the background, straining over the 90’s alternative radio and reminding you that you’d been here in a heat stroke the summer after you and Dean had gotten together, his golden freckles and lightened tips of his slightly messy hair underlining the memory.

“They don’t serve nachos here.” It’s half statement and half question.

“Babe, it’s your dream. They’ll serve whatever you want. Does the pizza suck in Wisconsin or something?”

The two sisters are whispering to each other as they look over at your table, an almost-argument that ends with who you suspect is the older sister poofing a pinch of flour into the other’s face. They’re both cute girls but she’s adorable, soft cherubic cheeks and messy bun piling impossibly glossy hair on her head as she walks over to the table with a gigantic pizza. “Can I get you anything else?” she asks in a perfect welcoming cheerleader pitch.

“I think we’re good for now, sweetheart,” Dean purrs with a wink. That you remember; you’d playfully chastised Dean for dazzling the teens, laughing in his face when he’d said it wasn’t on purpose, that he couldn’t help it if chicks dug him. The wink had proved your point then and now it makes the girl’s cheeks flush red.

She catches herself remarkably well, the stammer almost slipping under the radar as she assures you that you can “holler if you need anything!”

Dean brushes his fingers free of nacho debris and loosens a piece of pizza from the melting cheese of the ones next to it. “Last time you had all kinds of sweet nothings and questions for me and now you’re Silent Cal?”

“I don’t think this is real, but I’m pretty sure if I push it you’ll either die in this dream or I’ll wake up, so my plan is to stay here as long as we can.”

He drops the pizza back into the box and wipes off his fingers on a napkin before slouching into the booth, arm stretched across its length. “So test me then. Gimme a question only I would know or something.”

“Well if I ask you something that I know the answer to, my brain will just project you knowing it. See the problem?”

Dean squints and pouts in consideration, touch of a smile dancing across his face and if it isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen may you be struck dead right now. “Then ask me something you don’t know the answer to.”

You think about explaining how that too could just be some part of your subconscious recreation of Dean but you don’t want to keep pulling at loose strings in the event that it wakes you up. It’s too hard to keep from smiling, seeing Dean charming and relaxed like this, and when you grin it makes Dean bite his lip. “What’s something I don’t know the answer to?”

“Ah, ah—I thought I’m just a hologram, how would I know?”

“Projection, but okay,” you stall. “Wait, here’s one. Sam said when I first started going on jobs with you guys that you had to have a conversation about staying focused. What was that all about?”

He runs his tongue along the inside of his lower lip. “Man, why would he tell you that?” he says under his breath, smirking mostly to himself before leaning forward to meet your eyes. “Fine. I’m not even sure that you’re going to remember this. There was a vengeful spirit in Indiana, some like homesteader guy, ring a bell?”

You have only the vaguest sense of recollection and sort of waggle your head to show it.

“It was way at the beginning of when you started coming on jobs with us. You and Bobby got into it because he wanted you to bring your own car so you could ditch us if we were ‘acting like cretins’ or some shit like that?”

That fits the last puzzle piece in for you and makes you chuckle. “He ended up giving me like $250 of mad money in case I needed a new room or a bus ticket, yeah. I remember.”

“I didn’t know that part but that’s gotta be the same trip. The whole thing was really stupid. Basically we were supposed to have your six but both me and Sammy wanted to carry a shotgun instead of doing that protection spell because it looked cooler. We were arguing about it when the spirit whipped a chunk of the barn’s scaffolding at you and we didn’t catch it in time. You heard it coming and ducked so nothing ended up happening, but it fucking demolished the wall behind you. It was a huge fuckup—thing could’ve taken your head clean off, you know? Sam was so broken up about it he was wasted for like a week solid after we dropped you back off at Bobby’s.”

“Really? That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

“I know, usually he does some kind of pouty baby bullshit. But I mean both of us felt really guilty that bitching at each other could’ve taken you out.”

Dean’s eyes rake over your face, seeming to linger over every inch like he’s going to draw a topographical map of it later by memory. You can tell he’s waiting for you to say something but you can’t think of anything other than tracing each of his freckles where they dust across his nose.

A hand reaches over the table to run his fingertips along the back of yours, and that certainly feels real enough to send an ache into your gut. “What if you ask Sam? If he says that’s not what happened then you can keep saying I’m not real and you don’t have to listen to me.”

“But he already basically told me that. The only thing I probably wouldn’t have guessed about that is Sam getting drunk about it—these could’ve been just well-informed guesses about when it probably was or the kinds of things it seemed like he was implying.”

His lips press into a firm line and the barest touch of pink rises in his cheeks. “We, um, we pinky swore on it.”

The adorableness of his embarrassment makes you grin teasingly as much as the divulgence does. “A pinky promise? You guys must’ve been pretty serious to take such a sacred oath.”

He rolls his eyes at your ribbing and throws his hands back in his lap with a defeated smirk. “Laugh it up. Would that be good enough proof for you?”

It seems like Dean has figured out a loophole in the system, but you’re sure the light of day and Sam’s scrutiny will figure out why it isn’t actual evidence of communication with Dean beyond death, and you tell him that.

A curtain of suspicious confusion falls over Dean’s face. “Sam being weird about it is what’s keeping you from trusting this? Kid, I’ve been talking to Sa—”

And you woke up.

The bed was empty next to you but you could smell something sweet in the air and hear the light clinking of pots or pans Sam was trying his best to keep quiet. You blinked back a few tears of frustration—who even cared if it was real or not? Reliving a great memory with Dean was more than enough and instead of enjoying it you’d wasted a chance at some small respite from your constant ache of grief. And even then, you hadn’t used any of your time to figure out how the whole thing worked, how you could see him again.

But the most pressing issue was what you thought Dean had been trying to say before disappearing; that he had gotten through to Sam. Sam, of course, deserved to have secrets, but if he had been sitting on the resolution to all the angst you’d been struggling through in the last weeks (months?), you couldn’t imagine a reason why that wouldn’t hurt. Nothing would be solved by laying in your bed to sulk about it, though, so you threw on some clothes and went to brush your teeth.

When you came out, Sam was hunched slightly, the standard stove highlighting his decidedly non-standard height as he shuffled a pan’s handle. He had a dishtowel over his t-shirt clad shoulder, a habit from the bar that sometimes held over when he was in the kitchen at home, and bare feet under old jeans. They were wearing through at the knees, and you knew they were absolutely pajama-soft from having periodically thrown them in with your own laundry. Through the kitchen window, enough snow-brightened sunlight came into the room to cast him in a halo glow that gleamed off of his hair. As long as it had gotten, chunks still swept into his face as he looked down at the stove, and he tucked one behind his ear as he looked up, half-singing a Buddy Guy song that was playing softly. It was stunning—he was stunning, statuesque and strong and right there in front of you. Cooking you breakfast while you slept in, of all things, chocolate chip pancakes he had to have remembered were your favorite from ages ago. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d had them and right now, nothing in the world sounded better. He beamed and tilted the pan toward you. “Morning! I made pancakes, you want some?”

And you should’ve just let the moment rest, sat in the rare bright winter morning and eaten chocolate chip pancakes and relished how well the boiler was working, maybe later in the day read a predictable murder mystery or taped off the living room to be painted and listened to REM until your shoulders were sore from running rollers up the walls all afternoon. Instead, about as stupid and weird a flop as if a toad had come out of your mouth, you said, “Have you been talking to Dean too?”

Sam’s face fell but not in the right way. There was too much angle in his brow and that confirmed it. “What?” he asked, but it didn’t land.

“How long have you been talking to Dean?”

He kept that curious smile for a second, like maybe he could push through by playing dumb and you would forget, but finally his lips flattened and his jaw clenched as he stacked a finished pancake on top of its predecessors. “Just because I’m having dreams about him doesn’t mean it’s really him,” he finally answered, softly and as though he was telling the bubbling pancake batter in front of him, unable to meet your eyes.

You felt the lump forming in your throat and tried to get the words out ahead of its solidifying. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“For what?” He let go of the pan and turned toward you, supporting his weight on the countertop. “So we can both—”

“Both what? Be delusional? Is that what you were going to say?”

Sam didn’t answer, but the set of his jaw was firm and he kept his eyes locked on yours.

“He told me you were drunk for a week after the hunt you were talking about.” You watched as Sam’s pupils widened a touch. “And that you didn’t just promise each other to buckle down, you pinky swore.” Sam’s Adam’s apple jumped in his throat. “It’s true, isn’t it? I can see in your face that it is. Did you already know it’s really him?”

He looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw. “I was pretty sure. Or at least I really hoped I was pretty sure.”

You felt more than consciously allowed your mouth’s falling open. “How? How long?”

“It just—I don’t know, it just felt different. I—uh, the first time was after we made those cupcakes; he asked about the cupcakes.”

You slumped against the countertop opposite him, speechless. He shoved the pan off the hot burner a little too hard, put a palm on either side of the stove to brace himself. The two of you stood like that for a long minute, the smell of chocolate not matching the stiff heaviness in the air at all.

“I don’t—what if it’s not real?” His throat sounded bound even though you couldn’t see his face, hulking mass of him spread across the tiny kitchen.

He seemed so defeated, so young, and then you couldn’t believe how selfish you’d been, not putting two and two together that something challenging Sam’s grip on or understanding of reality must shove him back to the brain melting torture he’d endured in the cage and the months—years, maybe, he was always so tight-lipped about it—afterward. What the fuck were you thinking, not seeing it before, how this could seem like a perfectly laid trap for Sam, the most poetic way to whip his mind into stiff peaks of meringue. It made so much sense why he would need time to really suss it out, see the situation from all angles and investigate, check and re-check. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes but you blinked them away. This was not about you or your complicated need for him, it was about Sam, what he’d been through, what he was likely putting himself through even now.

“The, um, the pancakes smell really good.”

“Yeah?” There was half a laugh behind his words, humorless as it was. “I hope they’re okay, I know they’re your, uh, your favorite.”

“I’m surprised you remembered.”

Sam leaned on one arm to rub his face with his other hand. “Yeah, well.”

“Can I help?”

After a beat, he stood up and offered some space next to him on the stove. You worked hip to hip, sprinkling the chocolate chips while Sam flipped. He was scraping the last of the batter into a last little runt pancake with a spatula when you couldn’t help yourself and wrapped your arms around his waist. He seemed surprised, if sad, before setting down the bowl and covering as much of you as he could, folding over you like a protective shell. It reminded you of that dirty motel room, months and months ago, when Sam held you together as you cracked in his arms. All he could do then was be steadfast in reminding you he was still there, if nothing else was, and you hoped you were able to give him the same now.

You silently laid two place settings on the kitchen counter while Sam set the food out. He sat next to you and had picked up his fork when you touched his wrist to still him. “If it’s not real for you then I’m losing it too.”

Sam thought for a second, then raised his forearm and kissed the back of your hand where you held onto him before cutting into his pancakes.

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 12

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mc-critical · 4 years ago

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One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

#i planned to only use images at first #but since Tumblr now allows only up to 10 #I had to quote most stuff #magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #mahidevran sultan #hurrem sultan

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godkilller · 4 years ago

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✵ YOUR TURN BITCH

send ✵ and my muse will answer the following.

Their first impression of your muse:

GIN’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF AIZEN was swift and resolute: he’s the one in charge, he’s the one I want to kill. Little Gin was able to assess that Aizen was not simply some higher-up grunt in the gang of Shinigami he saw out in the woods whilst out collecting firewood. No, he could tell by Aizen’s demeanor, his presence, and the way the others essentially cowered while bowing to him that this guy meant fucking business, so Gin returned that sentiment in kind: it was on sight for Gin, a vow of betrayal and murder was born within the bushes that night. The first time they exchange words -- roughly a year later -- it’s under a similar moonlit night, and Gin has blood and a grin on his face. Aizen awakened within Gin a murderous thing, a boy who once offered food and shelter and kindness ( then the day we met’ll be your birthday, how’s that sound, Rangiku? ) became Hypponzashi, already had a bodycount by the time he picked up an actual zanpakuto, ripping through the Academy, youngest Shinigami to enter the Gotei 13 ( younger than Hiyori, technically ) and ripping through that Third Seat Aizen threw his way like it was nothing.

Are you proud of what you created, Aizen?

Current impression:

Gin respects Aizen, when you untangle that sentiment away from the hatred, the hyperawareness of Aizen’s every harm, every misstep, every word toiling away in Gin’s mind as he seeks to understand the most misunderstood and isolated Shinigami of his generation -- bridge the gap, be different than how Shinji tried to understand Aizen, delve into his motives, and how Urahara for all of his wit and foresight couldn’t bear to presume Aizen’s intent ---- and to not fall into the doe-eyed admiration and adoration of Hinamori Momo, oh no, Gin mustn’t bow down akin to Tousen nor quiver in submission like the Espada. HE MUST BE MORE, HE MUST KNOW AIZEN MORE. Understanding what Aizen was lacking from the people surrounding him, picking at what the man yearned for; by showcasing this attention to detail, it presents the undeniable truth that Gin and Aizen are compatible, they’re similar because Gin molded himself to that. And oh, did Gin truly dive right the fuck in, and intertwined himself like a serpent coiling lovingly around their prey -- the murderous intent -- there are thorns of respect, a different brand of love even, all woven into the way Gin views Aizen. Gin isn’t always seething with rage at the man, after all. They’re equals, in many cases, or Aizen’s his captain again and he’s watching his back ( or lurking at it ) and they’re partners in crime, it’s very much an ‘us vs. them’ light with them at times ---- and Gin has to admit that IT’S FUN ---- his humor’s rubbed off on Aizen, and they’ll make each other chuckle and smile and it’s so utterly exciting to have someone as intelligent as Aizen to bounce off of, Gin’s genius is thriving; AIZEN NEVER BORES HIM.

Gin can be at the top of the world, swept away into the facade and consumed by the banter and bickering, the bloodshed and the long nights spent scheming about other’s lives akin to pieces on a chess board. Gin wouldn’t have gotten as close as he got to Aizen without thinking alike, and understanding Aizen’s point of view. Gin’s absorbed so much of Aizen, quietly, observations and adjustments made to his act until he felt it was natural. Gin faked it till he made it. Gin doesn’t know who he would’ve been without Aizen in his life, and ultimately can’t even begin to comprehend a guess. It’s easier this way, it’s easier to just keep submerging than try to swim to the surface. He’s gotten so good at holding his breath.

Gin’s tether in this hurricane, however, always remained Rangiku. He can’t fall all the way, even if he believes he has, even if he thinks he’s sunken so fucking low and gone too far for too long with Aizen, AIZEN WILL NEVER HAVE ALL OF GIN THANKS TO HER.

Are they attracted to your muse?:

Have you seen Aizen? Gin isn’t blind. But he’ll play the part; we don’t want Aizen’s ego getting any bigger, do we? Or maybe he could play that angle, swoon just a little -- in that case Gin’ll shoot for his head, it’ll be so enlarged and impossible to miss.

Something they find frightening about your muse:

IT’S COMPLICATED. Gin acknowledges that Aizen’s scary, he’s not dumb; a wise fighter knows when to nod to their enemy when they’re a strong one. Gin’s unsettled when Aizen begins the evolutionary process against Urahara and co. and is visibly shaken when Aizen doesn’t heed his warnings and destroys the sweeper with a fucking look. That’s one of the two moments Gin ever looks afraid. And it’s not necessarily out of self-preservation, it’s not like Gin’s going ‘aw fuck I’m screwed’ it’s more of a ‘what have you become?’ sentiment at Aizen. Gin makes commentary about how ‘Aizen snuck that thing into his chest when I wasn’t lookin’, can’t be helped’ and it’s... remorseful, and anxiously spoken -- in Gin-speak -- of course it’s not blatantly said in such a way, but in a throwaway manner of ‘casually not worried about it’ because Gin’ll be damned if he says such a vulnerable thing to Ichigo.

Gin admits to those worries when he’s about to activate Shinso’s poison in Aizen’s heart.

In my post-Winter War canon divergent verses, Gin does have nightmares about Aizen’s deformations, the way he writhed and became so far from what Gin had become so attuned to. This was not the Aizen which Gin had meticulously memorized, learned, since he was a boy. This was not the Aizen he knew, marching through an insignificant town, hunting insignificant kids, wanting to slaughter them and hang their bodies for Ichigo to find? At least with destroying Momo, it could have been argued as necessary to shatter Hitsugaya Toshiro’s heart, render a captain of the Gotei 13 useless or too emotionally charged to properly fight. Which is what happened anyways, but if Aizen had actually ‘sliced her into pieces’ it still would have served a purpose. Aizen was going to destroy Karakura Town anyways, why hunt a few human teenagers to specifically kill only to nuke the town their bodies are hanging in moments later?

Aizen could be a cruel man, yes, but that was wrathful. Gin feared Aizen the moment he began wildly and carelessly throwing his power around, the sweeper, the random passerby whom died when they got too close to him, the Karakura kids... Aizen was becoming the same indifferent and heartless man that he loathed the Soul King for being.

Something they find adorable about your muse:

You wore fake fucking glasses you fucking nerd lmfao. Lookit me I’m cap’n Aizen I’m not like OTHER captains, I got hipster glasses ‘n messy hair, I am utterly unique! One of a kind!!!

Would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:

I mean, canonly that’s certainly an angle. Gin’s death symbolizes Aizen’s ascension into a higher being, the final step he needed to reach that indescribable power. Without it, Aizen would have died to Ichigo’s Final Getsuga Tenshou, among other things perhaps, etc. etc. ...

Would my muse go on a date with yours? platonic/romantic:

Buy me fUCKING dinner. Okay, but I can see Gin humoring outings with the guy, platonic or otherwise no-named endeavors. He’ll coo and bat his eyes; if Aizen wants to play this card, Gin won’t back down. As always, he’ll meet it halfway or more. Oh, y’wanna take me out? I’m glad that you’re finally seein’ the light with how irresistible I am, go on, pamper me. I ain’t easy, though. YOU CAN LOOK BUT NOT TOUCH. Try anythin’ on the first night ‘n I’ll gut ya. <3333

One word my muse would use to describe yours:

Asshole. Arrogant. Self-Absorbed. Hypocrite. Selfish. Pathetic. Sad. Desolate.

Would my muse slap yours if they could?:

A left hook sounds much more enticing, but sure, Gin can slap too -- unless Aizen’s into that, then Gin’s kicking between the legs at full force.

Would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

Gin’s not the hugging type, but he’ll drape himself onto Aizen’s shoulder or in general invade the man’s personal space ( oh, I’m sorry, am I makin’ you uncomfortable? ) among other things. Gin’s like a cat, he’ll do as he pleases and seemingly be open to any and all contact when it’s lowkey inconvenient for Aizen at the time, or at least a little distracting. And the moment Aizen wraps his arms around Gin or goes for a kiss when Gin isn’t interested, it’s claws and teeth --

#keikakudori #[ headcanon ] fresh snowfall; fading footprints mark his path #my reply got shorter in each section as i kept going sbdhrftjgv #MY BRAIN GOT TIRED I CANNOT FATHOM THEIR COMPLEXITIES PAST A CERTAIN POINT.

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simuran · 3 years ago

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I posted 10,559 times in 2021

634 posts created (6%)

9925 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 15.7 posts.

I added 10,016 tags in 2021

#art - 3038 posts

#satisfaction is not in my nature - 2570 posts

#perfection - 1374 posts

#posts by me - 722 posts

#the witcher - 504 posts

#fandom stuff - 410 posts

#asfgasdghsf - 391 posts

#have i rebloged this before? yes - 355 posts

#will i reblog this again? absolutely - 354 posts

#thor - 298 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#Какой странный контраст между ножами в спине+замкнутым пространством и расслабленным лицом

My Top Posts in 2021

I’ve read “The Old Guard”, and while I liked the movie better, I enjoyed it very much. Some highlights:

Andy has long hair, and by the end has of the miniseries it is braided, which looks amazing

Andy saying “Athena’s tits” and “Zeus’ scabrous cock”. Adorable

Andy calling Booker “practically a fucking baby” in her inner monologue asfasfsdh

When Andy sees Booker is dead and thinks he might stay that way, she’s jealous that he gets to die but she doesn’t. Andy no

She also pokes his brain with a finger; Andy why

Nile doesn’t meet Joe and Nicky until the rescue mission, which I think is a shame. The family dinner scene in the film was so lovely!

Andy saying that Napoleon lost not because of the winter but because of the Russians :D Andy saying that Russians are in part descended from her own people :D :D :D

Booker first died because he was hanged for deserting the army, and he had to spend three days hanging until the army passed. During this time he did this:

“Gendarms are definitely on the way ... and maybe goddamn army! - Yeah, but it’s the French army, Nile. We can take them. - Hey! I was French army once! - I know, Book. But we keep you around anyway” skskss go off, Andy

prettyyyyyyy:

The cave where in the film Nile found Rodin also hides the portrait of Andy with her mortal beloved from 19th century 😭 She spent a lifetime with him in Australia, and loved him very much, but sooner or later had to leave him 😭 😭 😭

“He never asked why he was getting older and I wasn’t. I told him that, if I could, I’d give all my years to him, instead of keeping them for me. He told me I’d given him plenty.” NOOOOOOO my poor darling :(

Andy feels furious about Booker’s betrayal, but it also feels “good”, because this is the first time she feels anything in a long time. Ma’am, please get some antidepressants

She’s still immortal, so she and Booker shoot each other over and over again screaming, until Nile shoots them both. It’s hilarious.

*falling from a sky-scraper* “So, Nile, read any good book lately?” asdadfsdsf where was this humour in the movie

“Go big or go home, babe” where did this “babe” go in the movie, huh? Huh?!!! How dare Mrs Prince-Bythewood deprive us of Andy calling Nile babe

All in all, the movie definitely did a better job developing Nile, Joe, and Nicky, but there were a few scenes in the comics I LOVED. Including the scene in a flashback where Joe jumps from a city wall to fight Nicky. What a badass move. What a drama king.

Looking forward to reading the second miniseries!

72 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 13:18:46 GMT

Going slightly insane over Le Fanu’s Carmilla.

It’s the implication that Carmilla was trying to turn Laura into a vampire rather than kill her.

It’s the way Carmilla doesn’t care if Laura will love her or hate her afterwards - the only important thing is that she’ll come with her.

It’s the lack of emotional resolution, the absence of the final confrontation between Carmilla and Laura when all the masks would have been off, it’s the impossibility to know which parts of her were the mask and which were real.

It’s the fact that Laura is forever changed, and after a decade still! recalls Carmilla as both “the playful, languid, beautiful girl” and “the writhing fiend”, not being able to let go of either of these parts, and never! gets over her! never!!!

Good god, how am I supposed to deal with this!!!

81 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 11:33:04 GMT

I've just finished Iron Widow and no spoilers, but I can't stop internally screaming. It was so fucking good! God. I feel like the book fished my brain out of my skull, gave it a wash, and put it back againg. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!

87 notes • Posted 2021-09-22 14:21:11 GMT

asdsffdssdaffs, accurate

108 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 18:08:42 GMT

Every time I see a post about how Loki and Mobius are the best of boyfriends and my knee jerk reaction is WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT WHEN MOBIUS LITERALLY TORTURED HIM

And then I have to remind myself about the most important meeting that MY otp had, and, you know

Throwing stones, glass houses indeed

248 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 10:30:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Tumblr stuff #Posts by me

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reconditarmonia · 4 years ago

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Dear Fandom 5K Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me with any questions.

Dragon Age | Fullmetal Alchemist | The Locked Tomb | Motherland: Fort Salem | Where the Sky is Silver and the Earth is Brass

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; infidelity; unrequested polyamory; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

—

Fandom: Dragon Age

Character(s):

Group: Cassandra Pentaghast/Female Lavellan

Female Lavellan

Group: Charter & Rector

Genre(s):

Canon-Style Plot - Freeform

Action/Adventure

Worldbuilding

Established Relationship

Mystery/Procedural

I'm playing this game for the first time and loving Cassandra and Lavellan together so much. (I'm playing with a mod where I can romance her with a female PC!) Lavellan starts off as this confused and small and non-Andrastian prisoner who disagrees with Cassandra on so many things, but Cassandra puts so much trust and faith in her and so much on the line for her - even with Lavellans who are adamant that they're not chosen, they're just doing their best and they happen to be the ones in the position to make this choice. Cassandra is so proud to know her, and backs her up even when she disagrees with Lavellan's choices! The romance scene is really cute between two characters who are adults and have a day-to-day working relationship that isn't going to change, but are still just having fun with how charming it is in a way that builds on their friendship. Not to mention their battling together, of course - the ways they can protect each other and fight for each other's goals (and give Cassandra all the elven swords and shields), how worried they sound if the other one gets hurt...whoops, I found myself another loyalty kink ship.

I also just like playing as Lavellan generally, with how much of an outsider she feels (the "Dawn Will Come" scene is so alienating! it really works!) and how much of the game is about visiting the sites of past elven trauma and/or glory days.

My Lavellan uses the (default lol) name of Ellana, is a rift mage, sports a lovely buzzcut and vallaslin, has a lot of feelings about elf history (and visiting the Plains/Graves especially), believes in elven gods and doesn't care to pretend she's Andrastian, and besides Cass is closest friends with Solas, but don't feel that you have to write my specific PC - I'm excited to read about yours too!

But! I also love all the little hints about the work that Leliana's agents are doing, and their friendship (walking in on their card game at Caer Bronach is kind of delightful), and the letter from Rector's mother asking why he uses a code name for work (why are you ashamed of your name, Wilbur??) is one of my favorite in-universe documents. Slice-of-life or slice-of-mission with Charter and Rector would also make me really happy. Here again, just the closeness and trust and faith that these people have in one another is my jam.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Canon-typical levels of Cassandra's association with the Chantry and belief in the Maker/Andraste/the Herald shouldn't be taken to contravene my DNW of Christian themes, but I wouldn't want Satinalia fic or something focused on the Andrastian faith. Please don't put F!Lavellan in a different romance, even if we didn't match on the Cassandra ship.

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Character(s):

Group: Olivier Mira Armstrong/Maria Ross

Genre(s):

Action/Adventure

Canon-Style Plot - Freeform

Getting Together

I'll admit: I am a shallow, shallow person who loves the heartwarming and id-satisfying Briggs loyalty-kink complex (The watch! Buccaneer handing Olivier a clean pair of gloves after she kills Raven! Constant and deeply sincere saluting! Olivier’s explanation of why she wants Miles around and her lack of patience for anyone’s shit) but would like an f/f manifestation of it for actual shipping. Post-canon or AU where Maria is assigned to Briggs, or works for Olivier in Central? Does Maria foil a plot against Olivier, or Olivier save Maria's life in battle? Does Olivier order Maria into a firefight? Hit me.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Olivier/men, even mentioned.

—

Fandom: The Locked Tomb

Character(s):

Matthias Nonius

Genre(s):

Action/Adventure

Canon-Style Plot - Freeform

Fantasy

Nonius was one of my favorite new characters in Harrow the Ninth. His whole impossible arrival via evocation-by-poetry, battle with the Sleeper, and epic departure to fight the Beast made me very, very happy on levels I have trouble explaining. It was so heartwarming?! Because it was impossible, and because poetry won, and because they went off to do the best they could...I don't know, exactly. (Iiiii also just love that he's named for the Redwall mouse.) I'd love to read more about his life - being unprepossessing and very human but also paladin-like and really fucking good at being a swordsman, representing the Ninth House in slightly less decrepit times, his mysterious past with Gideon the First (and Pyrrha, sort of), however it happened that he died far from home in an unknown place and couldn't be recovered for burial, "chickenshits don't get beer"? Or, er, his afterlife - going to fight with Marta, Ortus, and Pro, re-encountering G1deon as allies...

—

Fandom: Motherland: Fort Salem

Character(s):

Group: Abigail Bellweather/Raelle Collar

Original Historical Witch Character(s)

Group: Sarah Alder & First Bellweather Ancestor

Genre(s):

Action/Adventure

Canon-Style Plot - Freeform

Mystery/Procedural

Worldbuilding

I fell hard for this show and Abigail/Raelle is the ship I’m most excited about - they get off to a bad start for all kinds of personal history reasons and have problems with each other, but when it gets down to the wire Abigail would do anything for Raelle and is very gung-ho about having Raelle’s unconventional but extremely powerful magic under her leadership, regardless of Raelle being a loose cannon. She told her she loved her!! <3 And by the end, Raelle also clearly knows what Abigail's going through (like when she talks her down in "Citydrop"), respects her leadership, and cares deeply about her and wants to protect her in return. I love that loyalty dynamic, and their competence as fighters/witches.

Physical combat, strength in general, magical strength, ability to work magic together, knowledge of the magical canon vs. out-of-the-box techniques...what parts of their skills and their bond could be challenged in the weird dimension that the end of season 1 leaves them in? Or when they get back home and new challenges await? (In my head, the decision not to send them to War College is not revoked; the unit becomes some kind of special-forces secret strike team rather than cannon fodder.) Maybe something where Raelle goes/has gone into a fight as a berserker-type for Abigail and then comes back to her, or where Abigail protects/has protected her soldier (her girl!! I love her protectiveness of Raelle towards the other cadets, imagine it in a battle!)? Or an arranged marriage AU where it's usual for witch soldiers to marry to combine their magic power or something...If including smut in the story, I'd especially be up for something d/s-y where the loyalty-kinky dynamic of Raelle being Abigail's weapon, at her command, is echoed in sex!

OR. The alternate history that the show has created is so interesting and I'm craving expansion of that through fic! Tell me about the Bellweather ancestor who was a slave and ended up powerful and influential enough to begin a dynasty, and how she met and was recruited by Alder. Or other enslaved witches, witches in the American Revolution or the Civil War, or the founding of Fort Salem and standardization of American military magic with its various influences, or Chinese or Jewish or Mexican immigrant witches who maybe came from different magic traditions and might have had to make the choice of whether or not to reveal that they had magic (if the system knows you because of your descent in the country?), serving their country but also binding their daughters and granddaughters forever.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Abigail/Adil (at all; if he's mentioned, please make them just friends), focus on Raelle/Scylla (dwelling on Raelle still having feelings for Scylla or on her getting over Scylla for Abigail; you don't need to retcon their having been together), Scylla bashing.

—

Fandom: Where the Sky is Silver and the Earth is Brass

Character(s):

Chaye Roznatovsky

Demon

Genre(s):

Fantasy

Canon-Style Plot - Freeform

Worldbuilding

Anything expanding on this story would make me really happy. Chaye’s years with the partisans, the comrades-in-arms she had and loved then and who else’s memory she holds or makes into a weapon, her journey to America, going by the surname of “no one.” The demon’s mirror world, its loss of that world (what exactly happened on the other side?) and its need to be where Jews are, demon Judaism? Or the future of both of them now that they’ve found each other!

Fandom-Specific DNW/Opt-In: DNW Chaye/demon. The premise of the story being what it is, I'm explicitly okay with antisemitism being a prominent feature of the story if you write something that covers either or both characters' backstory, but would prefer post-war antisemitism not to be a focus.

#dear author letters #dragon age #gideon the ninth #motherland: fort salem #fma

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tsipasce · 4 years ago

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Same Difference, Ch.09

A/N: FYI, this part gets a bit violent. No domestic abuse or anything like that, just a good ol’ fashioned fight scene. Anybutts, hope y'all enjoy~

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08

AO3 | Fanfic

Nanami began walking down the now-familiar, winding hallways from her tea break to return to the lab. She wasn’t ready to examine the feelings she’d had after her spat with Overhaul, especially the ones that caused her such sadness at the thought of not seeing him again. In the back of her mind, she knew whatever she was feeling could simply be the result of successful manipulation on his part, but it didn’t change the relief she felt knowing they’d continue working together. Hoping to push away the thoughts before facing him again, she decided to focus on her efforts to find a suitable class for self-defense. Sure, Hitomi had a point in that it would at the very least be a confidence booster, but Nanami felt like she needed more.

I know Kurono said it was a cheap shot in a 1 vs. 30 battle royale, but still. * BANG* If Overhaul, ~*killer extraordinaire*~ can get injured like that, * BANG* I might as well be a sitting duck. Nanami concluded, remembering that she had involved herself in a world much more dangerous than she wanted to acknowledge. But where in the world am I gonna find * BANG* a class that’ll * BANG, BANG* teach me how to survive a fight to * BANG* the * BANG, BANG* death? * BANG, BANG, BANG* Ok, what the hell is making all that noise? Nanami thought now annoyed at whatever had been interrupting her train of thought.

Following the sound, she found the source of the noise: a very large man beating a block of concrete in the training room as though his life depended on it. She watched for a moment in amazement as his fists covered in heavy, metal gauntlets wore down one block of concrete after the next, ignoring the traditional workout equipment. He stopped for a beat, sensing her watching him from the doorway.

“Hey, doc. What brings you here?”

“Hi Rappa, it’s nothing, just heard a lot of commotion and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Don’t mind me!”

Shrugging, he continued training, now moving to weightlifting. Man, this is nothing like the classes I sat in on. I wonder what kind of training you’d have to get to be this proficient… I wish I could… Oh, duh. Nanami thought at the epiphany.

“Hey, Rappa, can I ask you a question?” Nanami asked, with a plan already in mind.

“Who’s gonna stop you?”

“True. Have you ever tried teaching anyone?”

“A couple times, but most don’t last too long. They lack the warrior spirit.”

“So… if someone did have this ‘warrior spirit’, you’d consider taking them on, right?”

“It would be a dream come true, to trade blows with another man, hellbent on victory! They’d have to prove their mettle, but nothing would bring me more joy!” He exclaimed and she could tell he was already daydreaming about the next fight.

“Well, what if there was a person that was hellbent on victory and had a true warrior spirit... but they were a woman. Would you train them?”

“Impossible.” He responded immediately.

“What makes you say that?” Nanami queried, a bit miffed at how sure of his answer he was.

“They don’t have it in their nature. Besides, we yakuza have a code of chivalry. I could never fight a broad.”

“Even if said broad could kick your ass?” Now she was pissed.

He laughed heartily, “The day I meet a woman like that, will be the same day Mimic can keep his mouth shut for more than 5 seconds. Or when hell freezes over, whichever comes first.”

“Well get ready for 5 seconds of bliss and Satan in some long johns because that woman is here.” Nanami said with a renewed sense of resolve.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’ll talk to you later, Rappa.”

“Uh… Ok, see ya later, doc.”

On the remainder of the walk back, Nanami practiced her proposal in her head. She knew it might be a hard sell, but she was determined. Bursting through the door, she saw Overhaul focused on his laptop, going through some data sheets. Aw, he looks so peaceful—no, snap out of it. Back on task. Nanami chastised herself, though she was happy knowing she’d be able to see him like this regularly since they’d done their version of making up earlier. Focusing on the task at hand, she spoke confidently,” Overhaul, I need to borrow one of your bullets.”

“Who do you need taken care of?” he turned to her, a serious look in his eyes.

“Wait what?”

“What?”

They exchanged looks of equal confusion, before realizing what the other meant. “Oh no, no, no—I don’t need anyone ‘taken care of’, I want to take care of them myself—but not like that…”

“It would be clearer if you referred to them as the Eight Bullets or Eight Precepts of Death in the future.”

“Oh, yeah that sounds way cooler.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Tch. Of course, it does.” He said turning and she could tell he was grateful in his own way of the compliment. “What do you need them for?”

“I don’t need all of them, just Rappa. And I want... no, I need him to train me.”

“Why do you need him to train you? It’s you and I who share the same quirk…” He trailed off at the last part.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, it’s just that I... I want to learn hand-to hand combat. I want to protect myself. I need to. You were right earlier when you said I’ve entered a world that prioritizes violence. It’s not that I want to prioritize it myself, but I know it would be naïve of me to be unprepared.” She replied resolutely.

“Of course, I was right.”

“That’s what you got from that?”

“However, I fail to see how this benefits me. Technically speaking, you have yet to rectify the power imbalance between us; you being able to completely negate my attacks is… problematic. Making you stronger would border on foolishness on my part.”

“So, you plan on attacking me in the future?”

“No, but the point still stands and the question remains: what do I have to gain from this?”

Nanami’s resolve did not waiver. She had the answer to this one, “An ally.”

His eyes narrowed at her, almost cautioning her to use her words wisely, but he continued to listen, pushing his laptop to the side. “Go on.”

“I wouldn’t serve you or be an accomplice, nor conspirator to any crimes. However, I will not plot against you, attack you without proper provocation, and if you’re in a bind like tonight, I will be there. In addition to this… I’ll tell you how I was able to negate your attack. It’s still a working theory, but I’d be willing to share and practice it with you until it’s fully proven. I can teach you, but only after Rappa has trained me and you teach me a defensive move using Overhaul. This way, we will be equal, for the most part.”

He stared at her searchingly, considering her proposal. After letting her squirm for a bit in suspense, he responded,” It cannot interfere with our organization’s daily dealings or our work in the lab.”

“Of course.”

“Then it’s a deal.”

“Also, could you talk to Rappa for me? You know the whole chivalry thing…” She trailed off hoping he would catch her drift.

“You’re just full of requests today.” He said, slightly annoyed as she raised her brows waiting for an answer, “He will comply. You may have to prove yourself, but he will comply.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was decided that Nanami would be tested by Rappa a week from the day. If she wasn’t sure about the nature of the test, it was certainly made clear when Rappa explained in a way only he could:

“I’ll take it easy since you’re a woman. If you can make me surrender, I’ll teach you.”

Such a generous soul~ Nanami mused to herself after pushing through the fourth lap. She didn’t expect to become a prize fighter in a week, but not getting winded just by going up the stairs at work was a good start. She’d kept somewhat in shape and had grown up doing club sports in school, but nothing she could think of that would constitute a “warrior spirit”. Looks like we’re gonna have to get creative with this…

Checking her watch, she realized she had just enough time to make an important call before her next appointment. “Hey Miki, how’ve you been?... That’s awesome, I’m doing alright myself… Hm? No, no we’re still on for dinner Thursday, I just had a favor to ask… Could I join you for some freerunning this week?... Nevermind why I’m breathing so heavy! Can I come? ...Thank you, Thank you, Thank you—I’ll see you at the station by your place. Bye!” The phone clicked.

She wouldn’t become a master in a week—maybe not even an intermediate level fighter—but at least she could have a sliver of a chance at winning Rappa over. With her plan coming together, she pushed for another lap, a little more confidence in her step than before.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A week came and went, now Nanami stood in front of her closet, unsure of what to wear.

“What do you usually wear to a fight anyway…” She pondered, remembering what every fighting person she knew wore on a regular basis. Rappa wore jeans and a t-shirt, “If I can’t sleep in jeans, how the hell am I supposed to fight in them? Next.” Overhaul wore business attire, “The man’s an enigma, not even realistic to compare wardrobe choices there…Wait.” Nanami had an epiphany. Her fighting style, if she could call it that yet, wasn’t much like either of theirs from what she knew. Deciding it would be smartest to wear what she’d been training in that week of preparation, she got changed and hurried over.

Rushing her park job, she sat in her car for a beat, trying to catch her breath. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been a nervous wreck anticipating her “trial by fire” today. Even with a plan, it would be hard to predict how she’d react in the moment when her safety was on the line. After rejecting her quirk and consequently, her body, for such a long time, it seemed like an impossible task to lean on it completely, to trust it, but what choice do I have? Nanami asked herself with equal measures of resignation and resolve. Deciding it was do or di—nope, gotta use a better phrase. We are not speaking the possibility of death into existence. Not today. Deciding it was now or never, Nanami took a deep breath, centering herself as she worked up the nerve to exit her car and march to the base and down to the training room.

Stopping in front of the entrance, she exhaled deeply once again, pushing the large door open. Upon opening it, she saw Rappa rotating his shoulders and stretching his arms. She gulped heavily, remembering his quirk, Strongarm, would soon be used on her. Focusing on her opponent, she hadn’t noticed someone else standing in the corner by the door.

“If you focus any harder, you’ll pop a blood vessel.” Said a familiar voice, startling her from her thoughts.

She put a hand to her chest, trying to calm down, “Oh my gosh you scared the shit out of me… and leave me alone. Everyone has their own way of preparing, I’m just… figuring mine out.”

“That and your sparring attire.” Overhaul responded too quickly for her liking, giving her a once over.

Defensively pulling her tracksuit closed, she gave him a look,” Did you come to roast me or root for me?”

“Neither. I am merely here to supervise. Whether you win or not is none of my concern.”

“Aaaand this is why I didn’t ask you to train me. If you need me, I’ll be stretching over there, ref.”

Nanami rolled her eyes, making her way to what she figured would be her side of the arena. The training room was large with two sections; one part took up a third of the room, hosting a myriad of traditional gym equipment and weights. The other part which was the arena, took up the remaining two thirds and was outlined on the floor in white with room on the sidelines for observers …and sassy referees. Nanami thought, remembering his dig from earlier.

Removing her tracksuit, she donned black leggings and a matching, sleeveless workout top. It was sleek and formfitting, maximizing her range of mobility. After she completed a couple toe touches, lunges and back stretches, Rappa took a step forward into the ring, “Alright, you know the rules! I’m making it easy on you by only asking for a surrender, but I won’t hold back.”

“I wouldn’t want you too. Let’s do this.” Nanami said, her game face on and her voice confident in an effort to override the doubts she had in her head.

“Now that’s the spirit! Come at me, doc!”

Getting into a stance, Nanami made a B-line towards Rappa, sprinting at full speed. He braced himself in a defensive stance, ready to attack when she came within striking distance. He was wearing his mask, but she could feel how serious the mood of the room had gotten. Just stick to the plan, it’ll all be ok, she said, steeling herself from further doubt. Focusing, she saw the second he was readying himself to take his first swing. Just then, she slid and dodged, slapping her hand firmly on the ground as she slid, sending a ripple in the direction she was headed, a pillar forming. She then slid past the new structure, extended her arms, and grabbed onto the pillar to swing herself back in his direction at full force. Keeping both her feet together she surprised him, landing a solid kick to the face. She followed through as he staggered, and she landed, rolling to minimize the impact. Before she could appreciate the look of surprise on Overhaul’s face, Rappa had recovered. Her refresher course on parkour with Miki had paid off and she had a few tricks up her sleeve.

“Now that was good. Give me more!” He exclaimed, punching the ground, barely missing her head as she dodged. Nanami had been fast, but Rappa was much more agile than he looked. She’d done some research on his quirk, but no amount of reading could have prepared her for the reality of it. Though it probably wouldn’t have seemed threatening if it had belonged to someone else, it suited him perfectly. He didn’t just have a quirk, he had a set of skills and used it to amplify them. Even without the added power, he was a force to be reckoned with.

Before she had the chance to think too much, he struck again and again, dodging becoming more difficult with each blow. Deciding to act, she erected more pillars.

“Putting up a wall for protection won’t gain you a surrender—come and fight me!” He warned, charging towards her.

“Who said these were for my protection?” Nanami responded as she ran. She launched herself to gain enough momentum, bouncing between the pillars, she managed to land a punch to his side, just beneath his ribs, earning her a grunt. Now more confident, she went in for a second attack, this time she was going to aim for his chin, hoping to knock him out. In this movement, her lack of combat training caused her to make a grave error: she was wide open. By the time she saw Rappa winding up for an uppercut, it was too late to react. He landed a solid blow to her abdomen before grabbing her like a ragdoll, tossing her clear across the room and into the wall on the opposite side of the arena. Her back hit the wall with a thud, and she gasped for air as the wind was knocked out of her. She was certain she’d broken a rib or two. She fell on all fours, heaving as she grasped at the broken parts of her rib cage. She coughed up blood, accepting the consequences of being hit in real combat. When she expelled more of the red liquid from her mouth, she could’ve sworn she saw Overhaul reflexively lunge towards her. Without thinking she raised a hand motioning him to stop whatever he planned on doing, the other still clutching her side. Looking over to him, her expression must have relayed her determination. He took a step back, his face expressionless once again.

Reaching under her shirt to the affected area, she felt for a moment and healed herself, the sound of bones cracking back into place echoing throughout the room. She rose again, steadying herself as she took up her stance once again, “I’m not done yet.” Nanami gritted.

His mask was now ripped from her previous blows she could see a large smile forming. “Now that’s the look I want to see. IF YOU WANT VICTORY, COME AND TAKE IT WITH YOUR FISTS!”

Nanami charged forward, landing some solid blows as using her ability to manipulate the arena to her advantage. Though she’d used her quirk on their surroundings, she’d yet to use it on her opponent directly. Deep down, she was still too afraid to use it in that way. The only “fight” she’d ever used it against someone was when Overhaul and her first met, but really it was just a means to escape. Even in the face of danger, she found herself more afraid of losing control like she had all those years ago. As she hesitated, Rappa landed another solid blow, this time to her shoulder, dislocating it. She managed to stifle a scream of pain, but she knew this was bad. Before she had time to heal, he was charging towards her once again. She had enough mobility to dodge some of his blows, but not all of them. She couldn’t heal herself quickly enough to keep up with his attacks. He landed another to her ribs, a fist to her back and a knee to her abdomen. Rappa was enjoying himself and she was becoming less and less sure that he remembered this was a duel to a surrender and not to the death.

Completely forgetting where she was in her panic, an immense sense of danger crashed over her, the adrenaline taking over giving her tunnel vision. Judging by how he wound up, the next blow could have certainly killed her. She braced for impact, no longer thinking strategy and then… nothing. All she felt was the gust of wind that came from his fist stopping near her face and his breath on the back of her hand. Focusing her vision, she realized she had her finger pointed, mere inches from his neck and Rappa was frozen in his place, careful not to even clear his throat. Nanami hadn’t realized it, but her eyes were almost black and her face that of a cornered animal. She would have obliterated him had he not stopped short, an experience he wasn’t quick to relive a sixth time.

A smile slowly crept back across his face and Nanami was snapped out of her trance by the sound of jovial laughter. “I surrender, doc. THAT WAS GREAT! The look on your face right now, it’s perfect! I’ll see ya Thursday for training.” He boomed before shaking her hand that was aimed to kill him mere seconds ago. “I gotta make my rounds, but I’m looking forward to working with ya, doc. You’re one tough broad!” He said as he continued laughing to himself, exiting the room.

This whole place is just a dozen different flavors of crazy… I almost killed him, Nanami thought to herself, happy to have passed his trial, but terrified at the possibility of repeating “the incident”. Losing control scared her more than anything, but deep down she knew in order to master her quirk, she would have to take the risk and use it first. One step at a time, Nanami reassured herself, quelling the effects of the traumatic memories. In reality, she knew whatever training he could give her would far surpass any of the self-defense classes she was going to settle for before. She wasn’t just going to be confident; she was going to be prepared. Just as she was riding the waves of her victory, the adrenaline began to wear off and the pain came washed over her like a tsunami. It left her breathless for a moment and all she wanted was to cry out but couldn’t as she felt one of her ribs pushing into her lung. Now laying on her back, she focused on moving the arm that wasn’t dislocated to her side, repairing her ribs and internal organs.

As she sat up to kneel on the floor and heal her shoulder, she heard footsteps coming towards her. “You’re going to have to get quicker at recovering if you plan on standing a chance the next time.” He said, looking down at her exhausted form still seated on the floor.

“I know.” Nanami sighed, reflecting on her sluggish reflexes with a bit of disappointment.

He stood in place, examining her for a beat. Suddenly something white entered her line of sight. Lifting her gaze, she saw his gloved hand extended to help her up, though his face was turned away. Quickly brushing off her surprise at his gesture, she patted her palms on her sides, before clasping his hand. He lifted her up with ease, and had she not already tempted death once today, she would have jokingly asked for a piggyback ride. Now standing close, their hands remained clasped between them longer than she expected. Craning her neck to make eye contact, she could tell he was thinking, his gaze unwavering with an emotion she couldn’t name. Just as she was about to get lost in those golden eyes, he spoke “You smell terrible.”

Ah. The ~emotion~ was in fact just stank face. Should’ve known he’d say something like that... She thought as her face dropped into one of exasperation.

“That, my very rude friend, is the smell of victory, so take a big whiff.” She retorted, moving past him, flipping her hair as she sashayed over to her bag to collect her things.

“Still wreaks… however, your performance was impressive, for an amateur.” The last part added as though it would break the very laws of nature itself to award a compliment without a catch. “See you tomorrow.” He remarked, leaving the room.

Her back was still turned as she zipped her bag, trying her best to hide the small smile that rested on her now proud face. “See you tomorrow.”

#overhaul #overhaul x oc #overhaul fanfiction #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #shie hassaikai #kendo rappa #bnha fanfic #mha oc #mha overhaul #mha fanfic #overhaul fanfic

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rielrnl · 4 years ago

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Dear FutureMe,

Hi self! Kamusta na man ka? 22 na ka pagsuwat nimo ani pero wa gihapon kay uyab hahaha charot sagdi lang nana bitaw kay work. Anyways, kamusta na man ka? 2021 na besh, happy new year!

Kamusta ang work? I hope you are happy and you still continue to grow and learn everyday in the career path that you chose. I hope na follow na nimo imong mga plans and schedules. Puro ra baya ka plans, no actions. Joke! I know you are great at everything you set your heart into. I hope you never lose that kind of attitude. Take niya balik sa board exam ha, kaya lagi na nimo, ikaw pa! Or maybe there’s another path you wanna take? Just keep walking and never stop learning.

Naa pa ba gihapon ka sa Golden Prince nag work? Char general accountant baya ka sa Golden Valley. Considering your lack of experience, I am a bit worried but at the same time excited for you right now while writing this letter. I am very proud of you. I hope you still feel valued and appreciated like how I feel right on my very first few days of work. Pero akong mantra, “work to learn, not to earn” lang sa. I hope enough or pwede na imong experiences and learnings karon para sa new mantra nga “work to learn & earn”. Kung naay mas better nga opportunities moabot, why not? If you choose to go with something better, be forever grateful.

How’s your relationship with your family? Have you fulfilled your promise to spend more time with them? You know they’re not getting any younger. I’m so happy na fulfill na nimo. If wala gani, please do. It’s never too late. I doubt nga dili ni nimo ma fulfill coz you have a big heart and your family is what you consider as your greatest treasure. Please stay being a good ate despite being super duper maldita and be a good daughter. Hardheaded baya ka but I know you are so thankful for your parents. You don’t always say and show it but you are always proud of them for raising you the way they did. It wasn’t perfect but it was warm and cozy. I know your papa and mama will always be proud of who you have become. And let’s be forever grateful to them especially to papa for being strong and for refusing to give up when the going gets rough. Ka swerte ba nimo girl! Pagtinarong sa imong life ha!

Please tawn ayaw na sigeg palit sa mga butang nga dili nimo kinahanglan. Gastador raba kayka dzae. Hopefully, changed woman na ka karon. SAVE SAVE SAVE PLS! Help but please save a little for yourself. That’s the only way you can continue helping others. You cannot give what you do not have baya. Don’t get tired and don’t get angry with people abusing your kindness. Learn to accept the fact that some people just couldn’t get enough with the help they are receiving until they take everything they can get from you. Impatient raba kayka girl. Mokalit lang ug ka gamay imo utok. Also, learn to ask for help. I know you think kaya ra nimo tanan, feeling independent baya ka! Mao na wa kay uyab charot hahahah. Some people are actually ready to help, all you need to do is ask and never forget to thank them afterwards.

Okay, usapang lovelife. Naa ba tay improvements diring dapita? Di jud ko motuo nga nana kay uyab run. I know you too well. This aspect of your life seems impossible. Ayaw na lagi pag minaldita! Tagda na imong mga admirers. Pag glasses pirmi aron makakita ka kay poor eyesight raba ka. Take risks pud girl! Maayo kayka mag pretend raba na wa kay pake though you’re quite interested. But that’s okay though. Never make the first move! That’s our number one rule in flirting no matter how outdated that might be for most people. Find someone whose love is greater than yours. Ma compensate ra na nimo and ma equal ra na in time. Most separated couples started off with the girl whose love is greater than the guy. But what if nana kay uyab run? Really? Weh? Kinsa man na ba? Sure na jud na? Naa na jud? Whoever that guy may be, I wonder how he was able to get into your heart. Omg girl, pila sad kaha ka layer na imong security. Your walls are so high nobody would ever dare to climb it. Feeling gwapa sad kayka sa? Sige nalang. Gwapa na lang gud ka. Self love. Magdugay kaha mo? Makaya kaha niya imong kamaldita? Pungkle raba kag utok hahaha joke ra bitaw. I know he will have a hard time figuring you out especially what goes on in your head at first but I know he is and he will be so lucky to have you. I hope he knows that and he will never ever do something to lose your trust coz you really don’t hesitate to cut ties with people raba when hurt, with a great emphasis on cheating issues. “No second chances! But you can try. Just make sure you are prepared to lose me. ;)” Girl, remember this line! Hopefully, he won’t be stupid enough to test your resolution. Pero murag single pa man gyud gihapon ka run girl oy. Di sa ta magstoryag heartbreak. In a span of 1 year murag wala jud lagi gihapon pero hopefully naa na. Nothing is impossible bisan pa feel nako impossible kung ihatag na ni Lord. Di lang nato dalion si Lord ha kay basin wa pa na ready ang perfect match nimo.

Taasa na oy. Kapoyon gyud kag basa ani ba. I just hope that as you read this message, you will be reminded of how you feel while writing this. The excitement, the uncertainty...

I love you self! Take care of yourself and your family always. To more adventures and life lessons!

Love,

Elle of 2020

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bunnyanne · 4 years ago

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Ep 10 watching thoughts.

Thoughts, mostly LeoFiat storyline based, as I watched episode 10.

I actually quite like that Fiat never lied to Tharn? He didn't correct him, but he didn't claim they'd had sex/that Tharn was too late/etc.

Sure, he might have been too scared, but he didn't try from the off. Or try to set Tharn's lack of trust off: the pen was an accident, and I'm 99.999999999999999999999% sure from Leo. The social media... he seemed to be trying to get Type to date him by acting like they were already dating. Same with the kiss.

They're not okay, but they're a different category of wrong? He was trying to get Type to pick him instead of Tharn, not trick Tharn into giving up Type.

Also: HOW BAD ARE YOUR ABANDONMENT ISSUES THAT YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE YOU'VE LOST LEO?

He took the missing pen as a sign didn't he? My not-actually-superstitious sister's necklace from her fiance broke when he was in surgery and she felt sure it was a sign (while aware that it wasn't). (He was fine.) As far as I can tell superstition in Thailand in general is greater than superstition in the UK... Fiat absolutely believes the pen going missing means something. The only thing worse would be something happening to the necklace.

Techno is SUCH a mood sometimes. XD

Champ concluding that the best resolution was to make everyone happy. I love him for that.

#4 coming through again.

"I can't say it" WHY NOT??? It's not like the situation could get worse. (That particular situation, not the world in general: that was not a dare 2021.)

"Because I don't want to lose him". Right. Idiot.

WILL YOU TRANSLATE LEO'S LINES FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! 3rd time!!! 2nd time I got from context but... [cry]

Love big brother Type. And Gulf is SO PRETTY!!!

Also: much better option than the book spoilers I've seen.

Tries to remember that, partly thanks to Llong, a LOT of his exes cheated on him. Because, mostly, I'm on Type's side. Disbelief and anger that you don't trust him when he tells you the truth!

Go Thanya! rofl

Phu's about as efficient a cleaner as I am.

Looking for Thorn since he'd the only one of the 3 he'd allow himself to lose it with: must protect the other 2.

Well boys, at least you tried. Type's being a fool all on his own on this one.

Ok, I am scared... I don't want to be scared, but with some of the things... I'm scared...

Ok? This is not the first time this has occurred to him?

I don't understand the "I can't live alone" mentality, but I can absolutely see that Fiat has it.

Ok. NOW I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED.

WORDS WOULD WORK!!! THIS IS NOT REQUIRED!!! AND IF WORDS WOULD NOT WORK, THIS WOULD BE A MILLION TIMES WORSE!!! PLEASE REFILM THIS SHOW!!! [cry]

Not started part 4 but if it goes like I'm currently thinking... oh god, I'm going to be sick.

Ermmm... "oh thank god, he's threatening to injure his knee" is not a thought I expected to be having today. Or ever.

I know it's the leather but that totally sounded like a fart... didn't really fit the atmosphere that.

... That was a badly written digression. Maybe a few more lines with Type persuing the "why not find someone single" angle would have helped.

Oh, so he really did start sleeping with others with a forefront intention of making Leo jealous. I figured it was giving up on Leo and trying to move on (with a little voice that never quite died hoping he'd be jealous).

But yes. Basketball means Leo is official. "Basketball is all I have"... And a necklace, and a pen, and a promise, and living together, and sleeping IN THE SAME BED. That's just the stuff that is literally impossible to miss.

I'm glad Champ's looking awkward af. And how long are they planning to draw this out?

Well, that appeared to be important. Pity I only know what the lyrics said.

Oh, I've been paying so much attention to Cir I ONLY JUST REALISED THAT WAS HIM, not some random they dragged in.

Yeah Phu, how dare you trust Cir? Of course he's offended by that! [roll eyes]

#ttts s2 #ttts s2 ep10 #leofiat

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inikavulpixelreviews · 5 years ago

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New Game Special: Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Sword and Shield

Just as a warning, this thinkpiece WILL contain minor to major spoilers of the newest games.

So. Sword and Shield, huh?

While the Pokemon reviews themselves might not be starting for a while just yet, I think these games and the little discourse that comes with them warrants a little “introductory” thinkpiece to drop my thoughts and hot takes out there. I've played all the way through Sword, beaten its postgame epilogue, and am currently working on a Living Galardex.

Honestly? As flawed as it is, this is the most fun I've had with Pokemon since Black and White. No way I would call it better than BW, or even my second-favorite game HGSS. But it was far more engaging than the Gen 6 games and its ideas felt like a far better way to “revitalize what is familiar” than Sun and Moon did. The Wild Area is a wonderful addition I want to see expanded on tremendously in future games. And I mean like. Almost every route should be a miniature Wild Area in and of itself.

So yeah, I've had a lot of fun with it. It's not entirely scratched the itch that I've been feeling about the Pokemon series taking a serious overhaul to its mechanics (more on that in a bit). And like I said, its flaws are very apparent. Graphically it's still not caught up to modern games, and it's still very much a Pokemon game anchored down by conventions that have been with the series since the very start. And online interactions leave a lot to be desired. The story is back to a much more simple structure, which is a shame since there's a handful of really good characters present between Bede, Hop, and even the game’s main villains that all had a lot of potential. I would love to see them in a story that was handled with the same finesse as Black and White.

But in the end? I did enjoy it quite a bit. A solid 7/10 from me. But with the little micro-review done and over with, we're gonna move onto the two bigger points I'd like to drop my thoughts on.

The Pokemon Themselves:

I mean, what else would it have been?

While Gen 8 is one I wouldn't say is in my top two favorites or anything, it's still very solid and has a lot of fun Pokemon within it. Without giving a ton away, and since I've posted this publicly already, here's a first brush tier list of what I think of em. Though Gigantamax form are missing obviously, and some Pokemon are just not here. For some reason, it's hard to find one of these tier lists with all the new Pokemon on it. Just know that Skwovet and Greedent are around C-range and Galarian Stunfisk, Darumaka, and Darmanitan would be in A.

These can change with time of course, there's quite a few Pokemon that my opinion has changed on once I've examined their design more closely. Yeah, leaning a lot more into the positive! I think Gen 7 edges out just BAAARELY ahead, but 3rd place behind the greatness of Gens 5 and 7 is not bad at all! All that really holds it back are some lackluster cover-legendaries and, tragically, the lack of any new Ultra Beasts.

Figuring out an order to cover these in is gonna be a thing. I'd rather cover new the lines in their entirety, but because some new Regional Variants evolve into entirely new Pokemon, it's puzzling to figure out where they aughta go! In the end, I might go in the order of covering Regionals with no relation to new Pokemon first, then Gigantamax forms, then go through the 810 to 890 in order, plus whatever Galarian forms are related to new Pokemon when they come around.

I’d still say reviews will likely not start until 2020. I’d obviously wanna wait until the official artwork of all the Pokemon in a decent resolution would be available, plus I’d like to put a bit of extra oomph into these reviews. I’ll save what exactly I mean by that for when I start the Gen 8 reviews proper.

But of course, Sword and Shield isn't all sunshine and rainbows. As I'm sure any Pokemon fan has heard, in the middle of this very year, Junichi Masuda himself came out on E3 with the very unfortunate announcement that Sword and Shield will be the first games in the series' long run to not feature every single Pokemon. And indeed, that this will very likely be the standard for all Pokemon games going forward, electing to chose different Pokemon that are best suited to the theme of the region, and all others will be completely incompatible. Fans didn't take this news lightly, to say the least.

And I've thought about it long and hard on my own time, occasionally listening to what others had to say about the matter. Which of course, brings me, the person who mind you hasn't bothered trading their team to the most recent games in a LONG time BUT also had their top favorite Pokemon of all time axed from the Galardex, to my own hot take, gulp:

How badly do we really need the National Dex?

Okay, before I get into it any further than that, I wanna preface this by saying if you're one of the people that are genuinely upset about the National Dex cut, I understand. If you don't think Sword and Shield are worth buying because of the National Dex cut, it's your money to do with what you please. If you think Pokemon from this point forward won't be worth playing anymore due to the possibility that it will never feature every single Pokemon ever again, I totally get it. I'd be a fool to deny that there's a lot to be upset with Gamefreak with at the moment. But I will rather boldly make the statement that, after all the consideration I've done over the last few months, the Nation Dex has been a long-running mistake that should've never happened and the very concept of having every single Pokemon in every single game should've died when Gen 2 ended.

While I have taken its presence much for granted over the years, since it had been such a matter-of-fact thing. Of course every Pokemon would be in every game, why wouldn't they be? Turns out, Gamefreak's insistence on making sure all Pokemon are present for every game could very well be a root for a good chunk of the series' problems, both in the long run and recent.

Implementing the entire Pokedex, for one, is a huge waste of resources and time. People have already proven that putting in the Pokemon themselves doesn't take too long; modders have already stuck their favorites not in SwSh into the games and they are more or less fully functioning (albeit with the need to program your own moves and stats onto them). But to take that as evidence that maintaining the Nat. Dex shouldn't be a problem would be fairly disingenuous. For every single Pokemon, form, ability, move, and whatnot that they add to the game adds to an ever-inflating problem in terms of Pokemon's scope. With how many combinations of Pokemon, moves, abilities, and held items there are, I can only imagine that making sure no catastrophic game-breaking bug is going to happen in-battle due to an extremely and stupidly specific interaction is a QA nightmare that eats up far more of the work force’s time and energy that could be better spent... literally anywhere else.

And all this for what? So that a small and ever-shrinking minority of the fanbase can fulfill the increasingly difficult if not outright impossible dream of catching them all. Especially given how many of said Pokemon are only obtainable during a limited time. Not to mention how you are required to own multiple games to catch them all at this point. And there's obviously FAR too many to reasonably pile into a single region. The other side of that particular coin is the opposite; the people that usually only bring over anywhere between 2-16 favorites. Even that, as much as it is understandable to be upset that Cacturne's biggest fan won't be able to have their favorite Pokemon in the newest game at all, is so much commitment to a relatively tiny part of the game.

...Which is a real shame, since the very existence of the Nat. Dex has only encouraged the deep rut of series stagnation the franchise has suffered. Most if not all other major RPG franchises have had the room to experiment and do major mechanical overhauls because they never have to worry about whether or not the most recent title is reliably compatible with previous entries in their respective series. Because Gamefreak has been so insistent that every Pokemon, move, ability, and item has to be present in all future games, it's lead to a bigger issue in ensuring that everything functions the same way it did in previous games (barring tiny changes made to numbers more than anything). Meaning even the most recent games in the series have been bound to game design decisions made in 1996 on the goddamn Gameboy. Because of Gamefreak adamantly making sure EVERYTHING can function in future games now and forever, the franchise has not been given the room it needs to properly evolve or have a major update to its battle mechanics. For every new major mechanic that's added to the game, they would have to go back and ensure that it works with EVERY Pokemon, their alternate forms, and whatever moves they all may learn. And all the other major mechanical features in the battles. Is it any wonder that it was only twice that an entirely new feature was added that drastically changed the way battles played out? Only twice! Once when Held Items were introduced in Gen 2 and again when Abilities were introduced in Gen 3. There's been other, comparatively tiny updates here and there (The physical/special split in Gen 4, The streamlining of the battle system and the Pokemon themselves finally being animated in Gen 5, etc.) Is it any wonder Mega Evolution only effected a select handful of Pokemon? Or that Z-moves were a feature that affected moves more than they did the Pokemon themselves?

If you chop down the number of Pokemon to say, 400 or so per game, it would be considerably more reasonable to experiment with each new title. It's disappointing that this couldn't be evident in SwSh itself (though I would attribute a lot of that game's problems to questionable mid-development decisions). I personally would just hope the backlash has them listening to the criticism but not take it so much to heart that they backpedal entirely. Otherwise we'll just wind up neck-deep in the first problem again. I really want them to commit to this because it feels like there's a golden opportunity to make a truly modernized Pokemon game.

(A bit of a side-note, but I’m also noticing that now that the Pokedex is down to a much more reasonable number, a lot of people, myself included, are actually attempting to complete Galar’s Pokedex.)

NOT TO MENTION that it'll free up opportunity to make more new Pokemon. A lot of the reason recent gens have slowed down in Pokemon numbers is simply because the the National Dex was getting too big. Now that there's no more National Dex, perhaps we can start having generations of 100+ Pokemon again? In fact, I think SwSh would've been all the better had they pulled another Gen 5 in conjunction with the natdex offing to say that Sword and Shield will ONLY have 200 or so ENTIRELY new Pokemon, and not a single returning one. Fans would've still gotten upset, but the prospect of a game with ONLY new ones in the form of a soft reboot would've gotten people excited to see a sizable generation again. It'd also have shown a bigger commitment to making up for the lack of a National Dex, even before large gameplay changes would be made. (Although again, who knows how plausible that would've been given the implications SwSh had a rocky development)

Could Gamefreak have handled this mess better? Absolutely. I love what y’all do but I’ll give brutal honesty when I feel it’s warranted; they have been ultra trash about communicating with the fans correctly. Between citing “to make high-quality animations” as a reason for the Dex cutting as if you wouldn’t have expected every single animation in the game to be under heavy scrutiny as soon as you said so. Plus rather tone-deaf responses to the backlash. Something that should’ve been communicated was a reaffirmation that this decision was made for the betterment of the series’ longevity, and that it’s a choice that would make the series better in the long run (Even then though, that sounds like admitting SwSh aren’t as good as they could’ve been. And I doubt PTC would ever let anyone at Gamefreak say anything like that.)

This next point is just a personal one more than anything, but it’s a lot better of a solution than the other thing I was fearful might happen at some point: a hard reboot on the National dex. As in, most if not ALL Pokemon get permanently booted from the series and they start over, only keeping a select few. At least with this, so long as they prioritize Pokemon that haven’t been featured in a regional dex in while, I’m all for it. Friggin CHARIZARD aside, the Galar Dex feels like it has a healthy balance of fan favorites and niche Pokemon as far as returning ones go, which is good.

And of course, the Nat Dex isn't the ONLY problems in the Pokemon franchise. For one thing, I'd love it if this annual release schedule just stopped right the hell now. It's hardly a secret that crunchtime because of Pokemon game development is a huge problem at Gamefreak, all because of decisions most likely made by Nintendo and The Pokemon Company, though I'm sure some blame can be shafted on GF upper management as well. It's literally as easy as making the supplemental media stop being so caught up in doing the exact same thing the main series is doing. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the recent anime arc being “Globetrotting with Ash” is a move to distance the anime away from the games so the two don't have to be so coincided at all times. Like, Pokemon can literally do anything and make money off it. Why arbitrarily chain down the main series to a tight one-generation-every-3-years deadline.

Also Gamefreak REALLY needs to expand its workforce. There's evidently only 150 or so employees who natively work for Gamefreak, in which they have to rely on a lot of freelance work. Even so, that's a tiny work force to be working on a game that should be, by all accounts, treated with Triple-A game quality.

And again, let me just say that as much as I genuinely believe that the removal of the National Dex will be better for the series in the long term, nobody is wrong for being upset about it, and nobody is wrong for deciding they don't see the games as worth buying anymore. It's not your fault that Gamefreak made a promise to all of its players that they wouldn't be able to keep forever. And it’s certainly understandable to be upset given the very marketing has trained us to get very emotionally invested in these fictional animals. Like, as much as I saw this day coming, my first gut reaction upon hearing the news was genuine shock. And a slight tinge of disgust that Zorua, my top favorite of all time, could very well not be in the first home console main Pokemon games. At least until I realized “oh wait, I limit myself to only using new Pokemon anyway.”

And obviously this is by no means a guarantee that Gen 9's games will feature massively sweeping changes that fix all the shortcomings of the battle mechanics and will feature the vast Breath of the Wild-esque open world experience that fans have been clamoring for and 250 new Pokemon (plus 75 regional variants!). Gamefreak has been conservative enough about Pokemon to have landed themselves in this problem in the first place. Just forgive me if I hold onto even just a little bit of cautious optimism for the next games.

#Pokemon #Pokemon Sword and Shield #Pokemon Reviews

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lordgoopy · 5 years ago

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“The Saturday Interview: I Am In Eskew Podcast” —Recovered

The podcast is called I Am In Eskew; it’s a horror / weird fiction show delivered as a series of dispatches from a vaguely Central European city.

Eskew is a place that is, both spatially and psychologically, off-kilter. The streets wind too far in on themselves, the stairs climb too high, and both buildings and inhabitants can act in peculiar, obsessive, or frightening ways. And every episode we follow the narrator, David Ward, a kind of semi-unwilling immigrant to the city, as he finds himself stumbling into new aspects of Eskew. As for me, I’m a writer in London, working in digital media for the charity sector; I’m writing and narrating Eskew sort-of-anonymously. Not for any kind of grand scandalous reason, but because I think it adds to the fun and helps to keep the conceit alive a little bit.

Ah...that explains why I couldn’t find your name when I was researching for this interview. I thought my skills were slipping! I think it’s very interesting that Eskew focuses on horror based around spaces and buildings. Is this something of particular interest to you?

Yes, definitely! I think there’s a rich ream of horror, from The Haunting of Hill House to Ghostwatch, that delves into the idea that certain places can simply go wrong - and once these bad environments have been established and ostracised by society, they can’t be exorcised. They simply keep accruing power through the individual stories that play tragically out in their shadow.

I mention a real-life example of that kind of bad architecture in one episode; the Pope Lick Bridge in Kentucky, a place that looks and feels so sinister that it developed its own local folklore about a goat-man who attacks people who stray too close to the edge - and which has ended up resulting in deaths as visitors peer over the side trying to get a peek at the monster.

I find this kind of stuff fascinating, because it plays into my own paranoia about environments, and my dislike of ghost stories with explicably human antagonists. Like David says in the first episode, people aren’t frightening. Places are frightening.

If I’m sitting alone at home on a dark and stormy night, and I glance nervously up towards the bedroom doorway, my fear is not that my house is being haunted by a spirit called Mabel who died in the 19th century at the age of fourteen and is constantly seeking her favourite teddy bear...because all of these details both humanise her and make her ridiculous.

My fear is that there will be something standing in the doorway, because the doorway is where things come to stand.

Because unoccupied spaces, in our imaginations, must find something to fill them.

Could you describe some of your creative influences?

Thomas Ligotti is probably the writer I’m trying to crib from the most. Not so much in terms of his pessimism (or his love of puppets as a horror motif, which I can’t really get behind), but I see him very much as someone who bridges the gap between American horror and European absurdism. Some of my favourite stories of his - The Town Manager, Our Temporary Supervisor, The Red Factory - are hilarious as comedies! They’re very much scathing satires on our inadequate human response to the inexplicable and awful.

Junji Ito is also a big influence, in particular, his masterpiece Uzumaki: a collection of short stories about a town that’s driven mad by the symbol of a spiral. The brilliance is in the inventiveness with which he builds an anthology of horrors, with variety and with mounting awfulness, while playing on that simple motif.

I see Ito’s work as very much in the spirit of some of the most classic horror of all; Ovid’s Metamorphoses, where the threat comes not from an external monster, but from our own bodies and minds, transforming at the whim of cruel, fickle and obsessive gods...which feeds into a lot of what I’m trying to do with Eskew!

I usually try and avoid thinking about Lovecraft as an influence, even though David is clearly an obsessive, neurotic first-person narrator in the Lovecraft/Poe mould. I think there’s a lot of baggage around what constitutes ‘Lovecraftian’ fiction, and I didn’t want to set up false expectations by referencing him (like the idea that there might be some monstrous cosmic intelligence behind it all).

I really enjoy Lovecraft too, especially something like “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.” I think the idea of monsters living in the sea near the town and the strange, inexorable link the townspeople have with them makes it a lot creepier than something like “The Call of Cthulhu.”

Yeah! I think the elements in Lovecraft that have made him so franchise-friendly (these brilliant alien races and gods) have eaten away at the edges of Lovecraftian horror, bringing it closer to something that can be quite kitsch, even a kind of steampunk pastiche at times. With Eskew, I’m trying to keep to something I see in Ito, or in Ligotti, where any antagonists, whether human or otherwise, are only symptoms of something worse, something that’s simply a force of nature.

I see the city of Eskew as being a bit like a literal cancer in that sense - a highly complex structure where some of the cells (or in this case streets, art galleries, citizens...) have started to lose their original sense of self and are obsessively spiralling off in other, destructive directions...

What made you decide to do I Am In Eskew as a podcast, rather than as a graphic novel or book?

Honestly, it’s a lack of talent in the first instance, and a lack of discipline in the second!

Writing it as a podcast was my partner’s idea (she’s also the occasional voice of Riyo, an investigator looking into David’s disappearance, and she copy-edits every episode with me) - I knew I wanted to write a series of horror short stories based around the theme of urban isolation and weird architecture, but I was really struggling to get started.

She suggested that recording it as a podcast would force me to keep to a schedule, and hopefullyit might even give me some audience feedback to keep me excited about the project.

So it was a pragmatic choice, but it’s one I’ve really come to be thankful for! I think the medium is perfect for bare-bones, atmospheric horror storytelling (Knifepoint Horror is probably the best example of that ‘lonely voice whispering in your ear’ kind of fiction), and there’s an incredibly welcoming, friendly, mutually-supporting community of listeners and creators online.

Once the podcast is complete, I think I’d definitely like to look at compiling all of the episodes, editing and improving them, and turning it into a full-length written anthology. I’ve definitely made a few continuity slip-ups along the way that I’d like to correct, apart from anything else.

I’ve enjoyed Riyo’s episodes too, especially now that she’s directly looking into ‘hostile environments’. I feel like the contrast in tone and narrative style help to strengthen the series overall. Do you intend for the story of I Am In Eskew to have a specific ending in the future? If so, have you decided on the arc of the story?

I think David’s story (and Riyo’s) needs to be a finite one, definitely. In my experience, most successful protagonists in serial horror tend to be investigators, or monster-hunters. That choice of profession makes them witnesses to the story, rather than victims - effectively, they’re exempt from the psychological cost of whatever happens.

With David, I very much wanted to avoid that sense of safety; I want the horror to keep taking its toll on the character, episode after episode - which means that eventually he does need to find some kind of resolution!

Otherwise that psychological cost starts to seem fraudulent, and the whole thing turns into a predictable game of ‘David sees something horrible, then miraculously escapes at the last second’ week after week.

So I do know how the finale is going to play out; it’s really just a question of how many more stories I can reasonably invent for the show, without things starting to feel stretched, before we get there.

Mind you, it’s been established that there are recordings from Eskew that have gone missing, so it doesn’t need to end, even if it ends…

Do you have a favourite episode of I Am In Eskew so far?

I really like Episode 3: Excavation. A mysterious digging sickness takes hold in Eskew, with citizens tearing their own hands to pieces just to get into the ground - and in retaliation, a religious cult starts to form, extolling the virtues of the sky and constructing a grand tower.

It’s not necessarily the best-written episode structurally, and definitely one of the crudest in terms of recording quality, but it was the first episode where I felt I was pushing the boat out towards the kind of outrageous, absurdist horror that I really wanted to be writing, where normal human behaviour was just being given a couple of extra screw-turns towards something awful and monstrous.

It was also the first episode where I really saw a few people begin to respond on message boards, so that was really reassuring to me - when it first went out, I was petrified that I’d gone too weird to sustain anyone’s interest.

I tried to pick a favourite episode in preparation for this interview, but I honestly couldn’t narrow it down past five or six. If I really had to pick, I’d probably choose Illumination - the episode about the sinister and compulsive call of an old railway bridge. Are ideas like this based on real examples?

That example definitely is - it’s based on a railway bridge about a minute’s walk from my house! I love that kind of very modern ruin; old brick stacks stood out in the open, arches filled with ivy, graffiti in a place that seems impossible to reach...

There are a few other specific London inspirations (I based the Fish Market on Spitalfields Meat Market, for example), but with Eskew as a whole, I was thinking specifically of hillier cities in Western and Central Europe: Budapest, primarily, but also Lisbon (the trams and cobblestones), maybe a bit of Rome...

I’m used to flat English cities without any kind of panorama, so I find it a ceaselessly astonishing thing to be lost in a city’s streets and suddenly find myself up high, staring down over a sea of winding streets and rooftops...

How do you feel having wrecked people’s appreciation of AA Milne’s poem Disobedience by highlighting how deeply sinister it is?

I’ve actually been driving myself wild trying to decide if that poem is just a nonsense rhyme celebrating bossy children, or if there’s a class-snobbery thing going on (James James Morrison’s mother puts on a golden gown, and goes to the end of the town...does she get robbed there? Is the end of the town so unsafe because that’s where the low-income people live?)

You may have a point there about class. After whatever happens to her happens, the King himself gets involved with a reward. Clearly, she’s a lady with connections! Could you describe your writing process?

My writing process is very much informed by necessity - I commute in and out of London every day and don’t have a lot of free time, so I have to do most of my drafting while standing upright in a crammed train carriage!

Which may not be ideal, but on the other hand, if you’re writing a podcast about the horror of urban life, there’s no better place to find inspiration than a crowded, sweaty, angry Underground train filled with blank faces...

How long does it take you to put an episode together, from first word to the finished product?

I’m very quick; I usually sketch out the episode concept well in advance, then take about a fortnight to draft it and edit. Recording and audio-editing happens very speedily, again out of necessity, on the weekends! I try and devote a day apiece to each.

Turning to the technical side, what do you wish you’d known about creating a podcast at the very beginning?

There’s still an enormous amount that I don’t know! When it comes to even simple audio editing, I’m learning all the time. I very much am still just a schmuck in his living room, talking into a handmade sound booth on his days off - which is the beauty of podcasting, I suppose.

But I’d probably give my earlier self some very common-sense advice like...

...be brave. Stick to a schedule. Know the signs of burn-out. Listen to other people’s work in the medium before you dive in. Stay hydrated so your mouth doesn’t make those disgusting wet sounds when you’re trying to talk. Never forget that this should be fun, above anything else.

What motivates you to keep producing episodes?

Honestly? Seeing that it’s connecting with people. Spooking people. Entertaining people. That means everything.

If people would like to engage with you or support you online, what’s the best way to do that?

If you’d like to support the show...please do just shout about it! Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes. It really makes a huge difference.

If you’d like to chat, we’re also on Twitter: https://twitter.com/eskew_podcast

#i am in eskew #eskew #long post

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nexstage · 5 years ago

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LIMBO SILVAM - PART 7

If there was something Peridot hated of the frozen forest, apart of being stranded there without a single clue of why and how, that was not finding anything remotely different in the scenery. Everything was black, white and grey like those old human movies that lacked any color. Only threes, the gray-ish sky and no sign of life around her and Lapis.

Yep, depressing.

At least she had Lapis at her side. Though, she was really worried about her condition. It had already passed half an hour -if her calculations were right- and the blue gem hadn't woken up yet. Having to carry her body on her back while watching and listening with the best of attention for any threats was really exhausting. At least, she was lucky it was Lapis the one she had to carry because if it were Garnet or Bismuth, that would have been impossible.

Peridot glanced at her companion with anxious eyes. Part of the blue gem's face was tainted with those gray splotches along with other parts of her body, and she seemed to have a troubled dream or something. Whatever she was dreaming seemed pretty painful; just looking at her whole condition reminded Peridot of Pumpkin's symptoms of putrefaction before she died.

The green gem shook her head. There was no time to dwell in past losses, besides, Lapis would be fine! They would find a way out of the forest and take a long, well-deserved vacation in their home, Little Homeworld. And stay very, VERY far away from anything forest-related.

"Mmmm... Mmmmhhmmm" Peridot glanced at Lapis again and saw her eyebrows getting together in an uncomfortable expression.

"Lapis, hey, wake up" the former technician patted her friend's cheek to no avail. Then, suddenly, a gray splotch in the ocean gem's shoulder grew a bit larger much to Peridot's shock. Her steps became frantic while she looked everywhere for a place to rest and check on her friend, but the forest was so dense and silent that it would be suicide to take a break where those goddamn creatures could hunt them down.

"D-Don't worry, Laz. We'll get out of here. Just hold on" She said with strong resolution. Despite feeling her legs going stiff for moments and hurt terribly, that didn't stop Peridot to continue walking through the forest in hopes to find an exit or a safer place to rest.

Minutes passed, the green gem didn't know how many but what she was aware of was the irregular pain in some zones of her body. 'Stars... What now?' she thought tiredly and looked at the palm of her right hand.

Let's just say, the surprise she got wasn't pretty at all.

"W-What the--?!" a big gray spot was there, but that wasn’t the worst part. In the center of the spot, there was a black point that grew bigger while many veins-like lines expanded from it. Was she corrupted too?!

"Ok, ok. Calm down, Peridot. You're still sane, still thinking clearly and remembering who you are. This... This is nothing" a voice in her head told her otherwise which didn't help with her high anxiety.

She kept walking, kept looking for a refuge and taking short glances at Lapis -still unconscious- whose body's condition wasn't any better. "You know, L-Laz... I don't want to remind you this, though I doubt you can hear me, but this issue is reminding me of many bitter things"

Peridot wasn't that sure of why she was talking when it was clear only she could respond, but at least that calmed her nerves. The defeaning silence of the forest was so overwhelming that at any moment the former technician could imagine one of those things appearing in an instant to kill them both.

Her voice alongside carrying Lapis' body gave her something to hold on, for her sanity was slipping quickly as her fears drowned her rationality. "Y-You remember Pumpkin, right?" She scoffed a bit at herself for that question "Stupid. Of course, you do. W-Well, when you left to the moon, Pumpkin was very sad... Like me. And, you would have seen her face when you came back! Though you did, you know? Pumpkin was as happy as I. We were finally together. L-Like a family" some tears fell from her eyes, but Peridot ignored them "We've been so d-distraught when w-we knew that Pumpkin's life span was very short... That she'd be gone"

The green gem sniffed. Then she stopped after hearing something, her gaze directed to the source of the sound, but found nothing. Maybe her imagination. She shook her head and looked at Lapis who was still dealing with some kind of pain in her unconsciousness. Peridot continued talking, "We were a mess... I was trying so hard to find a way for her to live l-longer, a-and you were putting on a brave face for me. Y-You know, I considered it cute. Endearing. I even wanted to thank you for that but... But... We were so caught up in trying to make sense of what was happening that there was no chance to appreciate what the other was doing to improve the really stressful situation. I was so busy in making a long-life potion for Pumpkin, and you in helping me while being as strong as you could so I didn't fall apart that we just... I even remember the fight we had. Steven told us Pumpkin would die, I didn't want to believe it and you were pacing from one side to the other of our house, not knowing what to do... When you tried to comfort me, I exploded and ran away with Pumpkin. You then found me in a forest, crying, being pathetic... I thought you were being too optimistic for putting on a brave face for me, and you snapped at me for not seeing that you were just trying to help the same way I did for you in the past... We cried, we hugged each other, and... And we gave Pumpkin the last best moments of her life... She deserved it a-after all..."

Crack! Peridot froze and looked around her for any threat that could be hidden in the trees' shadows. Nothing. Her right foot, that was consumed in seething pain -though Peridot didn't notice because of her monologue- had broken a twig. She put it away with her foot and kept walking, Lapis' painful murmurs distracting the green gem some times.

"Why am I telling you this? You may ask w-why, right? Well, t-the point is that, I love you... You're the only family I have left. Sure, I also have Steven and the Crystal Gems, Bismuth and Connie, but being with you, knowing you, helping you to be better, spending time with you, even mourning Pumpkin's death together, all of that makes me see that you're the most important person in my life... I don't know what I would do without you. The mere thought of losing you is too painful and terrifying for me to face. And I know the sentiment is mutual. So, L-Lapis, don't leave... Wake up..." Peridot shook her head once again, her eyes were losing vision no matter how much she tried to get rid of the water in them.

One of her hands rubbed her eyes, feeling the tears that were clouding them. She sighed bitterly, here she was, powerless in a forest, her friend unconscious and Peridot only resorted to let her fears out and cry. This wasn't a solution at all and to top it all, she had been crying in the whole monologue.

"U-Uggghhh... Stupid headache" and now she had to deal with that too. Great, marvellous. As if she didn't have enough problems already on her plate. She really deserves a-- "Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!" the headache intensified tremendously. It was like having a drill trying to perfor her gemstone at high velocity.

Some gray spots appear in her body but she didn't notice them. This, whatever it was affecting her gemstone so ruthlessly, wasn't a migraine but a mix of punches and explosions all concentrated in the core of her being. It was that hellish that Peridot accidentally let her unconscious friend to fall in the snow and got to her knees. More tears were gathering at her eyes, which made it difficult for her to see her surroundings if a new threat came to kill them.

Then, the forest, the snow-covered ground, the sky and everything else disappeared, being replaced with utter destruction. There was a giant creature trying to hit something and breathing fire, though she couldn't recognize it. Her surrounding were too blurry, like her eyes were submerged in murky water.

The sounds didn't make sense either. It was a complete chaos. Yelling, words and fighting overlapped each other while attempting to take over the other ones.

Peridot's head swiveled around, trying to find a reason as to why she teleported (?) to another place. First the little gem was in the forest, carrying Lapis and now she found herself in some, some... Jungle engulfed in fire.

Some meters away from her, Peridot saw three people fighting each other, or two against one to be exact. They were impossible to recognize, goddamn time for her to be almost blind; one of them was inside a robot if Peridot got it right, the other one was flying. Both were facing person number three, whose agility made things pretty difficult for their adversaries.

"Hey, hey! Please, help me! I need to come back, my friend needs me!" she yelled but they didn't listen. "Hey, I know you guys have some important things to deal with! But Lapis is in danger! Please help me!" Again, nothing. She was wondering if her voice wasn't raised enough for them to stop or if they were too caught up in their feud to care.

Going there and cease the fight was suicide. Peridot's metal powers still didn't work nor she had resources to defend herself, and the situation was getting more confusing for her tastes, but she had to try. For Lapis.

The noises got worse and louder when she reached the battlefield, those three strangers still didn't notice her presence but that was alright. Once she put herself in the middle and shouted with all her might, they would stop and help her.

"STOP! STOP THIS INSTANT!" Peridot's voice resonated through the air, or so she desperately hoped. Then she kind of saw a pink-ish blur going right to her or to one of the people in the battle -she didn't know, but it was so fast that the green gem didn't have time to evade it. Then the hellish sensation of distorsion in her body. Like every particle was exploding, reforming and next exploding with double force than before.

And her gemstone... Oh stars, it felt like a roaring black hole trying to swallow her. Pain, powerful hits, twisting and chaotic noise overwhelmed her entire being to the point of madness.

'No... Nonononono! I can't give up! I can't right now! Please, someone stop this! Someone, please!' her tears filled her eyes and fell to the icy ground. A nerve-wracking headache expanded to all her body, Peridot even thought she heard a crack in her gem and cried. Her shriek bringing blackness to her mind as she fell unconscious.

-------------------

"When I woke up, I was almost covered in snow and there was some kind of shadow, very big by the way, that was looking at me. I jolted and tried to fight it but it vanished instantly. Then I got you out of the snow too and keep walking, and now we're here in this clearing and still lost. But, hey! You're alive, I'm alive, so no worries! Ow!" Peridot brought her hands to her gemstone and hissed painfully due to another stinging migraine.

Lapis was slack-jawed at how much her friend put herself in danger to save the blue gem even when her ferrokinesis couldn't work. "Peri, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn’t be such a burden to you"

Peridot looked at her in disbelief. "What the heck are you talking about, you clod?! You would've done the same for me! Besides... Besides... I didn't want to l--"

"You didn't want to lose me, I know. I may not be conscious back then, but I feel the same towards you"

"Uh, what?" the green gem raised an eyebrow, pretty confused. Lapis smirked a bit, "What? Don't play dumb, Peri. You just said it, remember? Besides..." she got serious in an instant "I'd rather die than losing you too. When Pumpkin... When she passed away, it was so difficult for me to smile again. It was a big blow for us. I tried to be strong like you because that's what you needed. Peridot, you're my family not only when we became friends, reconciled after I came back and now facing whatever this mess is. I love you too"

Peridot's cheeks darkened and she could feel the heat coming out of her ears like steam. 'Just now and we are dealing with a confession. And this isn't Camp Pining Hearts!' her head was a mealstrom of conflicting emotions, but when the little gem was going to say something, her left leg collapsed for the soreness created by those gray spots.

"Oh stars! Peridot, are you ok?!" Lapis hugged her before her friend reached the snow-covered ground, and kept her close to her chest. The former technician blushed profusely, her arms immediately wrapped around Lapis mid-section, and she looked at the ocean gem with a mix of hope and fear.

"L-Laz? Lapis? If, you know, for some reason we don't make it -which I don't want to imagine and neither you-, then I will tell you how I feel. At least, to go on without regrets... And I want you to do the same. Being honest with each other even if our somber circumstances demand something different from us. Ok?" Lapis nodded while gulping a bit.

"We were enemies before. You were my informant and prisoner, I was your captor. I hurt you, I showed you that I changed for the better thanks to Steven. It was a tough journey when we started living together in the barn. You didn't trust me, you were really mad at me and wanted me to leave. But, with time and effort, we made a new life on Earth. Then... Well, then..."

"Then I left you behind because I was too scared to face the Diamonds or another war. It was a huge mistake" Lapis intervened somberly.

"Yeah, and then you came back and helped us to defeat the Diamonds. And when we returned from Homeworld, you and I talked things through, you apologized and our relationship got better and stronger than before. We were happy, the three of us. Pumpkin, you and I... Until she passed away. And now that we're in this situation, I came to the conclusion that my feelings towards you are deeper and more meaningful than when we were friends..." Peridot swallowed, preparing herself for what she was going to say "W-What I'm trying to convey is that... I fell in love with you"

Lapis tightened her hug and smiled sweetly. "Me too. You're the best that happened in my life. I'm sorry if I didn't express it too much" at that Peridot snorted a bit "Well, that's the past now. We don't have to worry about it anymore"

"Peridot"

"Yeah?"

"This is off-topic but, do you really think we can't make it?"

Oh.

"W-Well... We don't know where to go, our powers are neutralized, we don't have a map and those things are looking for us. Also, our bodies are going through some unwanted, painful and mysterious changes. I still don't know if it is because of the creatures or some corruption-related problem. Besides, without Steven or his maternal unit's healing fountain, we can't be healed. BUT I just went into the hypothetical case of not surviving this ordeal because it could give more emphasis in what I wanted to tell you... My feelings towards you"

"This was a very touching confession from you part. It was much better than seeing Percy and Pierre taking many seasons to do it" Peri laughed at Lapis' reasoning a bit more at ease.

The blue gem then got up despite the numbness in her body. The gray spots had grown larger while she was unconscious, but she didn't care. Peridot got up too just to make sure her romantic partner (?) -is that how humans called them, right?- didn't collapse from exhaustion. "Are you sure you don't want some rest, Lapis? At this rate, you might poof"

"I haven't poofed yet, have I? Besides, you also need rest. Those weirds black lines in your body give me the creeps and a bad vibe about this"

"Hey, it's not my fault that my appearence isn't aesthetically pleasant for you!" Lapis laughed at her tantrum and invited Peri to be carried in her back, ignoring the throbbing waves of pain her gemstone emitted. However, the former technician noticed her distress and tried to protest in behalf of Lapis' health, but the ocean gem calmed her down with a kind look. The green gem swallowed worriedly while getting comfortable in Lapis' back.

"Maybe we should walk side by side. You can get exhausted"

"It's ok, Peri. Let's find a way out of here first, then we can deal with what's happening to our bodies"

"Problem number 1, though: there is no map"

Uh, right. They needed a direction.

'Ok, so, left? No, there is too much forest there. Right? The same, and maybe those things are there waiting for us. North? More forest and nothing. We have been walking and there is no sign of humans or gems around' Lapis sighed bitterly. How much she wished for this to end and sleep for a good, whole week to forget this ordeal.

Then she spot something pretty far away. It looked like a... No, wait, it WAS a mountain, but the dark gray sky made it difficult to see. However, with some focus, Lapis could not only notice it but also a bit of light shinning in the peak. That gave her an idea.

"Peri, look at that. Can you see that tiny light in the top of the mountain?"

"What mountain?" Lapis held Peridot's chin so her eyes were directed to where the svelte gem was watching. "Wait, wait" Peridot rubbed at her eyes to see better and then gasped "When that mountain appeared? We haven't seen it since this journey began!"

"The forest. It's too dense to see beyond the horizon, but this clearing makes it easier. I have an idea, or a theory, well either of both: what if that mountain is the limit of this forest? What if by reaching the light in the top, we can finally get out of here? Do you think it could work?"

Peridot placed a hand on her chin pensively. This could be a good idea and their only ticket to put an end to their senseless situation, or just a trap put by... Well, by whatever that was playing them like they were its toys. "Analytically speaking, we could save ourselves and even find answers about why our powers don't work and why our bodies are going through these changes, or die trying. But at least we have a goal now, a more tangible one, to be exact. So, yeah, it is worth a shot"

"It's settled then. To the mountain's light"

"Yeah, to the mountain's light!" Peridot exclaimed with renewed confidence though hissed a bit due to another migraine. Lapis grimaced after seeing her crush's gemstone getting more black splotches. She started walking fastly, praying this new plan of hers work for their sakes.

#lapis lazuli #Peridot #lapidot #angst #Dark #Drama #Mystery #Video game inspired

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theonceoverthinker · 5 years ago

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Darn it, @lillpon, you salty bastard! You’re making me live up to my title and overthink again! XD

So, if you haven’t checked lillpon’s page and alternate thoughts on how Knight Rook in 7X20 would’ve been best resolved, go check it out, but for a less detailed version, basically, as to not get shafted during the finale as they were, the poisoned heart curse would be resolved following Gothel’s defeat at Alice’s hands, citing alongside the aforementioned shafting a sense of nothing big being shown by Killian’s gesture in the finale about what his love for Alice means. As she said and I agree, Killian absolutely would’ve risked his life to save Alice from a dark universe at any point following her birth, so what does that show about his character that’s been achieved since he first appeared in Season 7 (I’m not convinced 7X20 did a better job of this, but the placement of a grand gesture that amounts to something regarding their curse would’ve been more appropriate all the same during that episode)?

But that got me thinking, in this alternate universe, how would Rumple’s story have resolved? His and Killian’s stories are so intertwined in the finale that the resolution of Killian’s story completely alters the ending of Rumple’s. So what would have to change?

And I want to try to answer that like the pretentious little fuck that I am. This kind of turned into an alternate re-write of the finale, as unintentional as it was, but hey -- that’s life.

So let’s say that for all intents and purposes, everything in “Homecoming” stays as it was. We can BS an explanation that because of the fragmented mirror, only four people could travel that way to the Wish Realm so that leaves Alice and Robin to be in Hyperion Heights until Alice loses her Guardian status and still need Tiana’s help because that was all good stuff.

Ok -- we enter in on “Leaving Storybrooke” and the gang is stuck in the snow globe. Let’s say that Rumple loses his magic...mostly, but is still immortal because frankly, the fact that he wasn’t ruined the complexity of his conflict this season and only served to make his story line weaker. Rumple’s moping about Belle, but Killian tells him that he’s not the only one with problems and he worries that because of this snow globe, he and Alice will be once again separated, quite possibly forever this time. It’s a small change, but an important one.

The scene of them trying to break the snow globe stays roughly the same, though I’d change a few things. First, I’d show Rumple being nervous about his Wish counterpart’s death. How Wish Rumple dies could have a profound impact on his own death, especially if his hand in taking his counterpart down is more direct. Second, I’d change the ending. I wouldn’t have Killian ask why Rumple never killed him because we know it had nothing to do with any kind of friendship. I’d keep the focus on their partnership, with Killian wondering why he chose him, especially once he was awake and there were more powerful allies he could’ve armed himself with. Form there, I’d morph the line into something like “You were a man so unlike me, and I found that somewhat endearing, maybe like a man I’d like to be friends with someday.” Because the original line felt unearned and especially considering Regina’s sendoff, it just felt like an odd dialogue choice.

Much of the episode proceeds as normal, but without the poisoned heart, there’s not that looming conflict BUT I do have a change having to do with Killian that keeps him an active player in the story. Instead of the poisoned heart curse making him afraid, it’s the fact that he’s going against Wish Rumple and he screwed over Wish Rumple during the “Knightfall” flashback. He knows Rumple wants revenge for that and that with his magic and Killian’s lack thereof, it will be a challenge perhaps too great for him. That way, we can get the whole blessing scene with Robin which I utterly loved and gives gravitas to Killian’s strike on the guards at the end of it.

Again, much stays the same, but when Killian saves Alice from the dark universe, and the winds go away, Wish Rumple strikes again. He’s enraged that because of Killian, not even one other person fell into his dark universe and he wants revenge for that. So, he starts to go after Killian. He magically deflects everyone who attempts to get in his path, flinging them to the sides of the room and making it impossible to get back up. BUT, he doesn’t bother with Rumple. He thinks he’s deprived Rumple of all of his magic and without that, he’s just an immortal coward. And also, Rumple at first doesn’t move, frightened. His friend is about to die and his more powerful friends weren’t able to stop it.

But, with pursed lips and a shaking that won’t go away, he takes action.

Rumple does have a bit of magic left in his system -- the ability to take hold of a heart, or rather, the ability to take hold of two hearts. Just as Wish Rumple drags Killian to his eye level, he feels his heart being pulled out of his body. Rumple stands behind him, holding Wish Rumple as well as his own hearts in one of his hands and his dagger in the other. He gives that “best version...version the world will remember” speech from the original. Alice protests, saying that this will kill him and because he killed someone else in the process, he might not get to be with Belle in the afterlife. Still, Rumplegives her the same speech as before about doing the right thing without needing a reward before shoving the dagger through both of their hearts. Wish Rumple dissolves into dust and a layer of darkness etches its way out of Rumple and dissolves too, but in a twist, the darkness makes like a True Love’s Kiss and BOOMS. Dark dust goes EVERYWHERE and I’d use a shot to suggest that this is affecting more realms than just the Wish Realm.

When Regina comes in and asks what happened, Killian explains, but questions the boom of the dust. After thinking carefully for a moment, Regina realizes that there was no way of ever defeating the darkness because everyone has that darkness in them.

This is something I always wanted to see happen with the Dark One. There is darkness in everyone and this show has always said that this is something that while unable to be avoided, can be combated by the work one puts in to doing the right thing for the right reasons. So, now everyone in all the realms has a bit more darkness in them as to restore balance to the world. Everyone will need to be a bit more conscious of their impact on the world and who they truly want to be, but like with the spell in “Awake,” it’s a shared burden. The rest of Rumple’s death and the finale proceed as normal from here.

So why make this change? Well, a few reasons. First, we get payoff for the Golden Hook dynamic of this season that’s a bit more solid and appropriate than the original version. Second, Rumple gets to put to bed his cowardice in an ultimate way. His fate is completely uncertain and unlike when he took down Pan, he’s not even the person he’s saving considers him a friend, let alone family or a true love. It’s a poignant badass moment for Rumple and it shows him taking his curse and his life into his own hands, once and for all. THIS is why he’s the best version of himself and the version the world will remember. Even when terrified out of his mind, he WILL do the right thing now, no matter the consequences on himself. Third, again, we get consistency regarding the concept of darkness -- it’s not something we can do without, but the strength of our connections will keep the light prevalent and I think just to see the darkness gone forever because Rumple’s gone was a mistake that unintentionally harmed that theme and somewhat weakened Regina’s final speech due to the lack of resolution.

#ouat #once upon a time #rumple #killian jones #wish hook

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