#i wish i had tags for you - but alas. i do not sOBS

[whumpitisthen]

Too Much

alt.: How to Break a Defiant Whumpee 101, cws in tags!

When the lock clicks and the door opens once again, the foreboding light cascades down in the form of a person's shadow onto him and he cannot hold in a moan of distress.

He jerks his hands down against the cold floor in helpless, terrified frustration. His blood trickles from under the thick cable wire tying his wrists tightly together, collecting in a puddle with the rest of his spilled life force on the floor. Those cuts barely had time to close over, now torn open again. It cannot have been more than a couple hours since the last visit; what had he done to incur this unbearable punishment today? Who did he piss off this bad?

He listens to the familiar, heavy footsteps nearing him, hoping desperately that they aren't here for him. Unfortunately, those steel-toed boots enter his vision and do not leave, slowing to a stop right in front of his cell, peeking through the bars curiously. He wishes that just once, they would walk right past him; that he would be ignored and left alone. Alas, today has not been the luckiest.

"Oh, just look at you. Always such a sight for sore eyes."

"F-Fuck off."

Leaning up against the cell door, they trail their eyes along every inch of his skin. Of all his captors, this one might just be the worst, if only for their creepy fucking mannerisms. It's hard to forget about those intense, dark eyes and that impossibly smooth, gross voice that makes his skin crawl and keeps him company even in his nightmares. Among all the other things he was hoping for just a moment ago, not having to see them today was quite high up on his list.

They click their tongue. — "You still have your tongue then. Could've fooled me. You look awful."

Their grin made the insult sound more like a twisted compliment. He forces out another weak reply. — "Wow. Thanks."

They pause, tapping their index finger against one metal bar. They are just standing there, staring at him. Their expression is infuriatingly pleasant.

He fucking hates this. Why couldn't they just leave him alone today? Why does he have to be looking up at this terrifying motherfucker from the coldest, most uncomfortable corner of his cell, already exhausted, beaten halfway to death, and be forced to go through yet another round of pain? This just isn't fair.

They take a deep, content sigh, seemingly done with their sightseeing. — "Right."

They back up to stretch, then fit the key into the cell door, promptly sliding inside once it's open. His foreseeable future has swiftly become his near future, and he is anything but ready for it to become his present.

"W-Wait, wait, don't come in, you can't be ser— "

"How could I not when you look so lonely, cuddled up to the wall all by yourself?" — they sing, watching him struggle to push himself further into the corner he was left in by the one before them. From this close, it's even more apparent how rough he had it lately.

If the numerous black-purple pools of blood under his skin weren't enough, the fresh pool by his hand and the splatter of red across the walls would make it more than obvious. Everywhere they look they find another cut, another bruise, another mark and slash and burn. The ever present rings around his wrists are deeper, and now a new one resides around his throat like a collar. His eyes are dark and crimson, looking at them like he might just burst into tears.

He pushes his back into the wall with a cry. A new desperation has morphed his voice into something truly delicious. — "Just, leave, leave me alone!"

They smile innocently. — "Oh, should I? I'll consider it."

"No, stop, please — !" — his throat rasps and breaks his words, but that is nothing new. What is new, however, is the begging. This one has to be forced to beg usually, and now here he is, already close to sobbing for them to just let him be before they could even set a hand on him.

With something between a groan and a whimper, he twists his body to be hidden, curling up to the side and squeezing his eyes shut as he cowers, shaking, shielding his face with bound hands before they could even reach him. He looks utterly pathetic, and that melts their heart — but then they notice something truly surprising, something deviously intriguing.

"Don't tell me... Baby, are you crying? Already?" — They do not even try to hide the grin in their voice as they kneel in front of him. He only curls up tighter, sniffling. — "Now you're starting to worry me. This is very unlike you. I expect insults and swearing, not weeping."

He doesn't respond with anything but a huff of air. They try to peer behind those twitching fingers — a couple of them are definitely broken — but their curiosity isn't sated. The thought of finally having broken him crosses their mind. — "What happened?"

Their question goes unanswered. This guessing game is already starting to irritate them.

They take a light hold of one of those fractured fingers, leering; only a threat for now. — "You know I prefer screams to silence."

"Don't," — he half-wheezes.

"Talk to me then. What's troubling you, sweetheart?" — they cut him off entirely, cooing like they aren't the very reason he's like this.

"I'm... I'm scared."

"I can tell."

"I just — please, I-I just —"

They say nothing. He swallows dryly.

"I just don't want to be hurt again," — he whispers miserably, — "I can't, again, I can't — "

They still don't say anything. They still hold onto that damn finger. He almost wishes they would just get on with the torture instead of whatever this is.

"What, what do you want from me? Just fucking leave! Please!" — he yells, pleads, loses his mind a little more. — "Are you blind? Do you seriously want me to explain to you why I'm, why I'm having a-, a fucking meltdown?"

"I've barely had a, a single minute to myself today where I didn't have to en-entertain any of you pricks, and when I think it's finally over, when, when I get just a second, a m-, a moment to breathe," — he takes a strained couple inhales, almost hyperventilating before harshly gulping down his anxiety again, fighting sobs, — "y-you fucking show up. Like you always do. And, and now I'm here, yet again, left on the floor tired and, and hurt and bleeding — and you're, you're — it always g—, it never gets better. It never f-fffucking stops."

Nothing more is said for a while. They just watch him cry in his little corner coated in fresh blood, breaking apart in front of them. This is an incredible, rare sight. An important moment. They see a precious opportunity and they simply cannot resist seizing it.

They let go of his hand, gently laying their palm on his head instead. The gasp and the flinch are wonderfully unexpected, yet so beautiful to see. — "How many of us came today?" — they inquire softly, almost genuine.

His fragile throat lets out the most raw, wretched sounds they have ever heard him make. — "Y-You were the only one who hasn't. Eh-everyone and their mother came to visit me. I was really fucking hoping you wouldn't."

Ah. The others all took turns today, huh. They did a fine job at whittling him down. They don't even know how all of them managed to get their round in in such a short period of time.

"All five of us?"

"Yeah," — he mumbles. He's furiously wiping at his eyes, starting to lose all hope of getting any rest now that they are this close, and clearly not leaving any time soon. He hoped this embarrassing outbreak would at least deter them somehow, but none of his hopes today came true. They aren't exactly a bleeding heart who would change their mind about torturing him just because he's a little sad. If anything, he thinks, being this pathetic might have just spurred them on. — "But it doesn't, doesn't matter, does it? You sadistic freaks don't care about anything but, but beating the shit out of me any chance you get. I don't know why I thought that you of all people would understand."

This is perfect.

They lean in close. — "Me of all people? What's that supposed to mean? Am I special?"

"Especially annoying." — Now that's more like him. Retorts and insults flying out of his mouth like bullets. They really wish they could have him confess that he finds them the most intimidating out of everyone, that the ‘annoyance’, as he put it, comes from the fact that his backtalk doesn't have any effect on them, and that they know him on a deeper level than any of the others and that scares him more than anything — but they recognise when the moment allows for a play like that. He's already building up his walls again; they can't let this moment slip through their fingers.

"Mmm. Well, I have a proposal for you." — They dig their fingers under his great mess of locks, not unkind. — "Look at me."

"That's not a proposal."

"I'll tell you once you look at me."

"No."

They sink their hand in deeper, twisting into his hair like the claws of a beast. — "Come on. Don't you want to hear it?"

He only lifts his hands higher to hide behind, now muffling his tone. — "I know that, th-that you only want to see me cry."

They smile. — "Yes. And I know you want to avoid more pain."

This thinly veiled threat does two things: it pisses him off, and it brings back that foolish hope that they will take mercy on him if he behaves as they like.

Just one more push. A soft, light order. — "Look at me, baby."

Ordinarily, this would never work. He might even laugh in their face or spit at them for asking, especially so sweetly. This time, however, he is just a lonely, sad little guy in a cell, desperate for sweetness. They wait patiently. He shudders uncomfortably, snivelling.

Silently, with a deadly glare, he finally looks at them.

His eyes are red, puffy, and so, so tired. His lips are bitten bloody, cracked, pouting. The scar over his right cheek has been reopened, enlarged to run down the side of his neck. A gorgeous purple bruise has nestled under his left eye, running like paint in water across his skin. His tears drew clean streaks along his face, sliding down the length of his neck. It's beautiful, mesmerising. They are mesmerised for a little too long, though.

"I hate you so fucking much, you're so gross," — he hisses, done watching their eyes rake over him like an object while having the most adoring, fond smile doing so. It always sends a shiver down his spine when they do this, and having them be so close just makes it even more unbearable. He can clearly see their eyes refocus and return to make eye contact at his remark and it makes him nauseous.

It's fascinating how little bite his voice holds now, with the tears still flowing freely and his throat closed up. So many thoughts of torment run through their mind, images of taking advantage of this weakened state he is in and breaking him until there is nothing left, until he is like this all the time; crying and pitiful and obedient and lovely. None of that makes it to the surface.

"My proposal is this;" — they say instead, — "we could go on with what I had planned for today. This option includes this high voltage shock collar I brought with me."

As they turn to get the collar he assumes they must be bluffing, but horrifyingly enough, they turn back with a thick, black loop of leather with a box attached to it and a remote in their other hand, grinning excitedly. He remains silent in shock.

"Or," — they say after a pause to let him simmer in anticipation, setting their toy to the side, — "we could forget about that for now, and let you rest instead. How does that sound?"

He can barely believe his ears. They actually care? This is a trick, it must be.

"You're lying." — His splotchy face must have betrayed his bewilderment, because they murmur a chuckle before they respond.

"I am not. I can tell you are in a lot of pain."

They take a gamble as they take his head into their hand gingerly, turning him towards them by one shoulder and one cheek carefully, fully expecting him to struggle. There is resistance, as always, but quieter, just a small weight put behind pulling them forward which might as well just be his tired body refusing to cooperate. He says nothing. His lip wobbles. His expression is less cutting than usual, the edge replaced by worn flesh and agony.

They make an effort to remove all malice from their eyes, looking at him with sympathy and love instead. They give him exactly what he has been craving for the weeks he has been trapped here. Someone who can tell him they know he has been trying his best.

They look right into his eyes empathically, and sadly sigh; — "You're just tired, aren't you?"

Those are the magic words to open the gates to his true anguish. Something about this awfully simple, assuring sentence whispered so knowingly — it breaks something in him, and his eyes fill with fresh tears, and he cannot help the sobs bubbling to the surface. Because it is that simple, isn't it? He is so, so damn tired. All he wants is some rest. The assurance that someone sees him struggling, and understands how badly he hurts, and how little he really asks for. Coming from his torturer, it should not feel so liberating. But he is far past rationalism, his want for a single kind gesture has long become a burning need he would do anything for in this moment.

He may regret it later, but for now he leans into their hand as he lets every sob he ever swallowed down free, letting them see how broken he truly is already. From under all that grit and animosity comes pure childlike, innocent suffering, so potent he doesn't know what to do with it besides letting it envelop him. Just the right opportunity and a couple pokes, and he has crumbled under all this weight.

They lead him closer, pulling him out of his defensive position against the wall slowly to embrace him. He is all but powerless to stop his fragile form from moulding under their touch, gasping wretchedly in their arms. He is shivering like a leaf. It's intoxicating.

There they remain until his sobs weaken, and his exhausted body slumps against them like dead weight. Somewhere along the line they had let themself slide down to the ground, inviting him to lie on something soft for the first time in forever, even if it is only their own body. The floor isn't exactly clean — it's quite disgusting in fact — but it is well worth it to have this ball of resentment tamed for even a small bit, even if they have to lie on filth for it. This one instance of kindness will have lasting effects on their relationship and him as a person, even if he doesn't realise it, or even if he does. He will find it hard to look at them the same way, and will find it difficult to keep up his defiance in front of them when he knows they have seen him truly at his wits end.

He may let them touch him more often without a word. He may find it easier to do as they say without fighting. He may grow more attached to them through this, having a closer connection to them than to any of the others. He may even ask them again, once the time comes, to have mercy on him again, and they will give it to him, letting him fall deeper and deeper. He will have to swallow his pride, and he will only swallow it for them. This small moment will be crucial in the future. Maybe they could capitalise just a little more on this by telling the others they can't see him for a day. They will visit him tomorrow and ease his mind again, let him heal, see how he acts after this humiliating exchange.

The unconscious man in their arms will learn to be theirs with time; he has already made so much progress. This one is theirs, just as soon as it becomes too much to bear again.

...

He didn't even yell at them for calling him baby.

~

Taglist: @morning-star-whump

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

[geminisecrets]

You First

Warnings:  18+ ONLY! NSFW! Explicit sexual content, coarse language, oral sex, unprotected sex, mild drug and alcohol use, dirty talk idk I think that's it???

Word Count: 4750

Summary: friends with benefits turns complicated when someone's keeping a secret <3

Authors Note: It has been a long time!!! We really are amazed with the writers on here who never lose motivation and always put out the bangers, you guys make it look so easy and that's really cool!! But, alas, we have missed this and are happy to be getting back into the swing of things! We love you guys :')

Y’all are super duper fuckin' rad for telling us what you think about our stuff. ☯️

Requests are open :) 

Join our tag list ✨

*disclaimer: apparently the gemini constellation is only seen in Dec/Jan but just pretend you can also see it in July gaslightgaslightgaslightgaskightgaslight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Jake, just tell me!” I laugh as Jake digs his fingers into my side, causing me to squeal louder.  

“Some secrets are better kept…secret”, he responds with a grin on his face, finally easing up on me as I push him away. “Trust me.” I sit up straighter on his lumpy, familiar couch, but he doesn’t give me any more personal space. He has a way of doing that. Taking up my space. And I wish I could say it bothered me. “Besides, what if I was the one annoying the fuck out of you until you told me your deepest, darkest secrets?”

“First of all, drama queen, you never said this was a deep or dark secret, second, you know everything about me, I’m sure of it. I’m an open book. A free bird,” I respond enthusiastically, getting up off the couch and spreading my arms out like wings. 

“Okay, free bird, you first. Are you going to admit you were faking your orgasm last night?” he asks, slouched into the couch, legs spread and hands folded in his lap. That same miserable grin is back on his face. I feel blood rush to my cheeks, coloring me guilty, immediately.   

“Fine,” I shrug, attempting to appear unbothered. “Yes, I did. I was tired and you were taking too long.” His grin widens slightly, but his eyes squint as he reads me. It’s times like these, I wish he didn’t know me as well as he did. I really and truly do wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions tend to play on my face, like a movie screen. “Your turn,” I shift, crossing my arms over my chest. 

Jake stands and closes the gap between us in two long strides. His nose is practically brushing mine, he’s so close before he says, “Nice try,” and walks past me into the kitchen. 

“I’ll pry it out of you one way or another”, I say, following him begrudgingly. 

Jake and I have known each other for years. He was my first crush in middle school, who turned into my first boyfriend in highschool and after graduation, my biggest heartbreak. We tried the whole dating thing, but it was bad for both of us. Jake is very demanding of time and attention. He’s passionate and jealous and honest. I, on the other hand, have always been more free spirited, tending to go with the flow. We’re completely different. Fire and ice. 

I could sit here and tell you all the ins and outs of how he hurt me, how I hurt him, and all of the baggage that comes along with young love, but I’ll spare you the sob story. Just trust me when I tell you that Jake and I don’t do relationships well. Neither of us. I couldn't tell you the last time I had a boyfriend for longer than a month before it crashed and burned. And Jake? Jake’s exact words to me the last time I asked were, “I don't really do girlfriends.”

That hasn’t kept us from ignoring the obvious, though. No, we’re well aware of just how well we do fit together physically. Without saying it in so many words we’d become friends with benefits, fast. When I’m home from school and he’s in town, there aren’t many nights we spend without each other. Jake might be too prideful to admit the same, but I can say, honestly, that he’s by far the best sex I’ve ever had. 

“What time is everyone supposed to be here?” I question, as I watch him unload the dishwasher, stacking his coffee cups in the annoyingly particular way he always does. 

Jake’s throwing a small party tonight with some of our old mutual friends from home, since most everyone is in town for the fourth of July. The usual suspects will be here, I’m sure of it. We’ll fall back into old habits. Playing stupid drinking games until half of us can’t see straight and have to Uber home with our heads hanging out the window in a desperate attempt to dispel the nausea. 

I however, know without a shadow of a doubt, as much as I stand at the mirror and tell myself I won’t, that I will be in Jake’s bed tonight instead of the Uber in question. 

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. “Come in!” Jake belts out.

“Long time no see!” Jake’s twin brother, Josh, calls from the front door with a lick of sarcasm under his tongue. He shuffles into the kitchen and unpacks what appears to be half of the entire liquor store onto the counter top. 

Followed by Josh are Danny and Sam and their usual posse.They all say their hello’s and waste no time making their way into the kitchen to get the drinks flowing. 

An hour later, the house is full and the laughs are loud. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed the banter, the blaring music, the escape from reality and the ability this house, this town, has to make us all forget how much distance there really is between the lives we live now and the ones we left behind. 

When it’s finally dark enough outside, we gather in the middle of the cul-de-sac and try our best to dodge the sparks flying off the dozens of fireworks Sam and Danny haphazardly detonate. Whoever decided to give control of the explosives to the two drunkest party guests should be criminally charged. 

The party quiets down a little bit and migrates to Jake’s backyard. We sit around his dingy homemade fire pit and watch the rest of the fireworks go off all around the neighborhood. The joint being passed around mellows most of us out and we sit there with our heads on the backrest of our camp chairs, tilted to the sky. 

“That right there is Gemini,” Sam says, pointing up towards the stars.

“Huh?” I overhear Jake question. 

“The Gemini constellation, stupid. The twins?” he scoffs, sounding truly offended, as if this is common knowledge for just anyone.

“You sure you weren't just seeing fireworks?” Jake teases. Sam rolls his eyes into the back of his head and grunts out a rebuttal. 

I think in Sam’s past-life he was some kind of hippie astronomer. He knows far too much about the cosmos for someone who decided against post secondary education. However, it’s a helpful tool to gauge just how far-gone Sam is. He always wants to talk about astronomy when he’s had one too many drinks. 

The conversation merges into talk of the ‘Good Ol’ Days’ and it’s just a matter of time before– 

“Remember when you and Jake tried dating?” Josh yells from the opposite side of the firepit, gesturing to me. There are a few chuckles and eye rolls from the group. Josh loves this story. Loves making me blush and riling his brother up. 

I usually ignore it, but it drives Jake insane for some reason. He doesn’t always know how to keep his cool when he is annoyed, especially with his brother. “Is something funny?” he chides.

“Uh oh. Did I poke the bear?” Josh taunts, throwing me a wink.

I am all too familiar with their typical twin banter bullshit, I’ve been around it for years. They like to egg each other on until the other explodes, and if Josh keeps going, he’s going to get exactly what he’s wanting out of Jake. 

“Come on, Josh, that topic is so tired, what about your tryst with that one guy…” Danny steps up to save the day and change the conversation as Jake turns to me. 

“I’m tired,” he says quietly, yawning widely. Jake has a very small social battery and when he’s done, he’s done. 

“Me too,” I breathe, catching his contagious yawn. As we stand to make our way inside, the rest of the party seems to naturally disperse as well. One by one, the party starts to fade out, until there is no one left but Sam. 

“I have about $5 in my bank account so uber isn’t an option. Cool if I just crash in the guest room.” Sam says. 

“Let me go grab my stuff out of there,” I offer, moving past him to reach for the door handle. 

“Oh, shit, sorry I don’t want to put you out if that’s where you were planning on sleeping tonight,” Sam interjects. 

“Sam, just go to bed,” Jake orders. I can’t tell if his curt response is due to the fact that I know he’s tired or if he doesn’t want to get into the logistics of exactly where I’d be sleeping instead. 

Sam begrudgingly obeys and drags his near lifeless body into the bedroom. I follow him, flicking on the light and collecting my bag off the bed before wishing him goodnight. Before I even have the door completely closed, the light flickers off and we hear a loud thud.  

“Jesus, it sounds like he catapulted himself onto the mattress,” Jake huffs out a lazy laugh, wiping away the sleep from his eyes and meanders into the bathroom. 

“If I had nine shots of tequila and a rack of beers to myself, I’m sure I'd be doing the same”, I yawn, grabbing my bag and making my way to the living room. 

I’ve almost got a little bed completely set up on the couch when Jake snatches the blanket from my hands. 

“Come on,” he says, dragging my blanket down the hallway towards his room without muttering another word, let alone giving me half a second to respond. I follow him anyway, stopping in the doorway to watch him shuffle out of his jeans. 

“Jake,” I nearly whisper. “If I sleep in here, will you tell me your secret?” I ask as coyly as I can muster at this ungodly hour in the middle of the night. His movements come to a halt when he pulls his shirt over his head, glaring at me. 

“I think I’d tell you just about anything to get you to let me sleep,” he groans, but the upward tilt of a smile on his lips reassures you that there’s no real malice behind his words. 

I roll my eyes and finally close the door behind me. By the time I take my makeup off and change into a t-shirt, he’s already in bed with the lamp off and the TV on, playing his usual reruns of Shameless. I crawl into bed next to him, and make myself comfortable. 

This is…new for us. Sure, I’ve been in bed with Jake before, but not like this. This feels… domestic. Intimate in a way I’m not sure I know how to process. I peer up at Jake, watching him for a few moments as he watches the TV.  

“So… this secret…” I coax. 

“Hmm,” he barely acknowledges me. 

“A deal’s a deal, Kiszka,” I remind him, shifting up on my elbow, my head in my hand, waiting for him to come clean. 

“I don’t remember making any deals with you, succubus,” he suppresses a grin as he lazily tosses his arm up and under his pillow, eyes still fixed on the TV. 

“I’m in your bed, aren’t I?” I ask, “Now it’s your turn to–”

“I’m pretty sure my exact words were ‘I’d tell you just about anything’. Emphasis on the ‘just about’ part.” 

“Are you—”

“You’re gonna have to work a little harder than that,” he breathes out, no longer attempting to hide the smile that’s creeping onto his lips. 

I let out a ‘humph’ and fall flat onto my back, arms crossed. I lay there awake for a moment, staring at the ceiling, listening to the ever soothing sounds of Southside Chicago from the TV.

There’s a kind of tension in the room that I don’t think either of us can really place. Sexual tension is not something Jake and I are strangers to. I’ve felt that with him since the day we met. This is not that. This feels tethered to something much deeper.

I think about giving up and calling it a night, but the longer I lay there the harder it is for me to fall asleep. Jake and I don’t do feelings. We’re friends, sure. Friends who have casual sex, but the boundaries we have in place are all unspoken.

I finally work up the courage to break the silence by rustling the sheets as I change positions to lay on my side, facing him. Lazily, he turns his head to look at me. His expression is blank as he waits for me to say something and I become increasingly aware of how close his face is to mine. 

“What are you hiding, Jake?” I ask as I intertwine my leg with his under the covers. I feel my breath bounce off of his lips and back on to mine. He scoffs, turning his face back toward the ceiling and pinching the bridge of his nose as if I’m pestering him like a small child. 

I maneuver myself even closer to him, my lips latching on to his neck, peppering kisses in a routeless path between his ear lobe and collar bone. I hear him exhale through barely parted lips as he relaxes into my advances. 

“Sleepy?” I ask, not-so-subtly propositioning him. 

“Not anymore,” he responds, tucking his hair behind his ear and sitting up on his elbows. 

I shrug the covers off of myself and maneuver on top of him until I’m straddling his waist. His hands palm my naked thighs as I reach for the hem of his worn t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head. 

I let him pull mine off as well and his hands latch on to my breasts almost instantly. Shaking my head, I peel them off of me and place them at his sides, holding them down tightly at the wrist. He gives me a look of confusion and I try and fail to suppress a grin as I lean in to kiss him. 

His lips move slowly but persistently against mine and part for me immediately as I lick into his mouth. His tongue slides against my teeth and I take the opportunity to bite down on it gently, causing him to groan into my mouth. 

“Jake,” I sigh into his mouth, swiveling my hips against his as I feel him, semi hard between my legs. His hands twitch under my grip.

“Let me touch you,” he breathes, biting down on my lower lip as he pleads. 

“No,” I whisper back, kissing him harder as I fall into a rhythm with my hips. Reaching between us, I pull my panties to the side and position myself directly on top of his hard dick, the only thing separating him from my wet core is the thin fabric of his boxer briefs. 

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters, eyes squeezing shut. 

“No, no,” I reach my free hand up to take his jaw in my grip, the other hand still holding his arm down at his side. “Eyes on me.” His eyes meet mine again as my mouth falls open. A silent gasp escapes me as I slide my wet core against the material of his covered cock. I release his wrist and jaw in favor of placing both hands on his bare chest. “Oh my God, Jake,” I whimper, closing my eyes and tossing my head back. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t putting on a bit of a show. “You’re so hard,” I sigh. 

“Can I please fuck you?” he asks breathlessly beneath me, hands knotted obediently in the sheets at his side. 

“Hmmm,” I consider, “how could I let you fuck me when you’re keeping all these big secrets?” He glares at me before reaching up and taking me by the waist, knocking me on my back until he’s hovering over me. 

“You like secrets,” he reminds me, lips at my ear, sucking on my earlobe before licking a stripe down my neck. 

“Do I?” I question, letting myself fully melt into the feeling of his lips and tongue and hands on me while he’s not seeing just how much I’m enjoying it. 

“Mhm…or did you want Sam to know what we’re up to in here?” He asks, right hand tugging at my nipple while the other still holds me around my waist, trapped between me and the mattress. I roll my eyes, causing him to pinch my nipple tighter. The sound I let out is somewhere between a moan and a yelp and I clamp my hand over my mouth instantly. Jake giggles, letting his head drop to my chest, kissing at the skin he’d just pinched. “See, secrets are fun. Necessary, even.”

He continues kissing down my body until he reaches my underwear. Looking up at me through his eyelashes, he takes the elastic between his teeth and pulls them down as far as he can before finishing the job with his hands. 

When I’m bare and naked before him, he parts my legs wide enough for him to settle between them. “How do you want it tonight?” He asks. This is new territory for us. We don’t… take it slow. We don’t ask questions and, in fact, this is only maybe the second time we’ve ever hooked up in an actual bed. Closet, car, tent, couch, sure. The bed feels… intimate. Where we’re usually rushed and frantic, simply trying to get each other off, we’re now slowing down, touching softly and intentionally. 

“Uhm,” I start, not sure how exactly to answer the question. Feeling out of control, I panic, sitting up and taking his face in my hands. My lips crash against his and he’s caught off guard as I press him back against the mattress. 

“Not what I was thinking, but I’m not complaining,” Jake smirks, relaxing into the mess of bed sheets, his eyes still tracking my every move. 

I make my way down the expanse of his chest to his cock, freeing him from those damned briefs. I don’t waste time pressing my lips to his tip, gently sucking. I watch as his breath causes his abdomen to flutter, up and down. Admiring the way his hip bones jut out on especially deep or sharp inhales. The second his hands are in my hair, I slide him down the back of my throat. 

His hips immediately buck upwards as he thrusts himself deeper into my mouth, and I hear him mutter out words of admiration and praise. 

“Oh fuck”, “deeper”, “slower”, he doesn’t stop. He’s always been vocal during sex and I can’t get enough of it.  

I pull him out of my mouth the second I sense he’s enjoying it a bit too much; moving back up towards him. His hands are still in my hair, but move down the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His tongue meets my lips first and then slides under mine like velvet as he slowly repositions me until my back is pressed into the mattress; him hovering over me. 

“How bad do you wanna know?” He breathes, eyes meeting mine before his head dips to press wet, sucking kisses to the curve of my neck. I feel myself losing the control I had over this situation, but I can’t seem to make myself care. He lowers himself onto his elbows so that his body is flush with mine. I can feel him, hard, pressed against me. 

“Bad,” I mutter, reaching down between us in an attempt to slide him inside of me. 

“Ah-ah,” he shifts his hips back, away from me. “Sounds like you’re gonna have to earn it tonight.” 

“Earn it?” I ask, trying to focus as his head slowly snakes down my body until I feel his lips press warm kisses on the inside of my thighs. 

“Sh”, he silences me. His two fingers dive into my core, and he scissors them, stretching me the way he knows I like. He takes a moment to pull his hair back into a loose bun and he smiles when I make a crack about things getting serious. His tongue finally licks a stripe up my center, pressing hard and flat against my clit, his fingers simultaneously pumping in and out of me.It doesn’t take long for me to get there. I’m close. So close, already. 

I feel my legs tense and clench around the sides of his face and my breathing hitches frantically. He uses it to his advantage, pulling me closer by the hips and nearly suffocating himself with me. His palms press against my stomach, holding me firmly in place while I ride out my orgasm.  

When he pulls away, he crawls over me and lays his chest against mine. His lips press against the shell of my ear and I feel his breath echo as I stare at the ceiling and try to gather myself. 

“I fucking love the sounds you make when you finish”, he whispers as he huffs out a laugh. He uses a free hand to brush the hair off of my neck, tucking it behind my ear. 

“Hmmm,” I smile a hum against his shoulder, “probably almost as much as I love hearing you whimper for me.

He scoffs, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “I do not whimper.” 

“Wanna bet?” I ask, pressing against his shoulders, pushing him back against the bed. 

“Be gentle with me,” he teases. Teases, because he and I both know he prefers me to be far from gentle. 

Without another word, I line myself up over top of him and tease him at my entrance. His hips buck up against me immediately, and there's that little gasp. That throaty, breathy puff of air that pours out from between his lips, reminding me that at the end of the day, he really is putty in my hands.  

“This gentle enough?” I ask, peeking down through my lashes at him. “Can I make you feel good, now?” I grind my hips downward, my wetness sliding against the length of him as my mouth opens, jaw falling slack, mimicking his. I nod my head slowly, grinning when I finally hear the faintest whisper of a whimper. There it is. 

“So impatient,” I grin, only half joking, but he proves my point when, seconds later, he grabs my hips and slams himself into me. My back arches immediately as I let out a loud moan and I hear him gently mock me. He thrusts into me, taking back all that power I had over him, reminding me this time, that I’d do absolutely anything to keep him exactly where he is, inside me, for as long as possible. 

Feeling unsteady at this pace, he’s set, I reach behind me to grab his calves for support, hoisting myself up. I let my head fall back as I feel his cock stretch me better at this angle. 

“Oh my God,  Jake,” I whine, “I c– I can’t–” 

Before I can blink, I’m falling swiftly to the mattress below me. I squeal as he grabs my legs behind the knees and folds them up against my chest. He takes his cock in his hand and circles it around my clit, my body pulsing every time I feel the soft head of his cock pass over that ever sensitive bundle of nerves.

“So pretty,” he breathes out, “all of this for me?” He asks, more of a statement than a question, dipping himself into the pool of wetness at my entrance, causing my breath to hitch as he stretches me slowly. I look up to see him grinning and staring at my face, eager for praise and compliment. So I give him just that. 

“All for you,” I respond, completely breathlessly. “You’re so good, so so good, best fuck I’ve ever had,” I gasp as he finally pushes himself all the way inside of me, right to the hilt.

I can feel his cock throbbing inside of me, even with the quick snap of his hips. My head starts to bang against the headboard and I would laugh if I wasn’t fully and completely on another planet. 

Thankfully he notices without me even saying a word and drags me further down the bed with just one arm around me. 

“Sorry, baby,” he grunts, “lemme make you feel better,” his thumb reaches down to press circles against my clit, and I swear to God I see stars. 

“Gonna cum again, for me?” He asks, once again, knowing the answer to his own question as he knows my body better than I know it myself. “Wait for me.”

He leans down, breathing heavily against my chest as his sweat slicked forehead rubs against the beads of sweat on my neck. It’s messy and it’s hot and it’s fast as he presses wet kisses to my skin. Somehow, he maintains the perfect pace and I feel him begin to twitch as he lets out a moan, muttering sweet praises into my ear. “Yes, baby. Good girl. So good for me.” 

He continues to fuck into me for a moment longer until he feels me cumming again, pushing himself deeper into me, harder, exactly how I like it. He waits a few beats as we catch our breath, enjoying the closeness. He pulls out of me and we both collapse on the bed next to each other until the silence in the room is stiff enough to choke me. 

“Can I ask you something?” I question, taking his silence as permission. “Why do you let Josh get under your skin so much?” he turns his head toward me, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, a hesitant smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“I was– inside you, thirty seconds ago and you’re asking about my brother?” A loud laugh bubbles out of me at his blunt response, but I continue, 

“Sorry, timing is weird, I know, but I was thinking, like…” I swallow, directing my attention to the chipping nail polish on my pointer finger, feeling suddenly small under the weight of his stare. “I feel like every time he brings us up, you get weird.” 

Jake’s eyes practically roll into the back of his head like some kind of unofficial response. 

“Okay fine maybe it’s not Josh, but the subject?” I push further, daring to meet his eyes again. 

“Damn, you aren’t gonna give this up, are ya?” He huffs. 

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about that, then at least give me my fair share of the deal.” I lift up on my elbow to peer down at him. “I’d say I more than earned this secret.” I smile. 

He looks up at me and for a moment, I can tell he's looking at more than my face. His eyes drift to the hollow of my collar bones, the hairs falling out of the disaster of a ponytail it was in, the space between my ear and neck that he’d breathed quiet promises into just minutes ago. 

“What if the two are connected?” He asks, finally. When I give him a look of confusion, he continues, “the way we used to be and– and the secret?” 

“I’m listening,” I feel my heart begin to beat just a touch faster, my cheeks warming ever so slightly. He leans up to mirror my position, his eyes meeting mine at a direct level. 

“I guess I was just hoping it wasn’t really a secret at all,” he says, eyes searching mine, practically begging me to understand what he’s not saying. The air is heavy and thick between us. He swallows hard as I begin to realize what he’s alluring to. 

“Forget it, I–” he begins, breaking our eye contact, ready to make up some lame excuse about being tired and choosing to talk about it in the morning. 

“I love you too, Jake,” I blurt out before I can chicken out. 

And I will never– ever forget his face when he looked back up at me in that moment. 

Because I was finally able to answer, in one sentence, the question he’d been asking for years and years. “Do you love me, like I love you?” Yes, resoundingly and conclusively, yes. 

Masterlist

Taglist:

@doodle417 @gvfrry @spicedandicedtea @yeehawbesties @samkiszkalover @gretavansteph @mannick @theweightofjake @basiccortez @lallisonl @sammiejane22 @sammyslappers @gretavanfleas @jakeyboiiiiiii @keighoe @myownparadise96 @gretavanbitches @s0livagant @aconfusedhippie @jordierama @writingcold @fuzzybatpersonafan @mamalikes-gvf @laurenlovesgretavanfleet @alwaysonthemend @saoirsemaeve

[seelestia]

◇ A Blessed Imperfection ◇

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

LIA'S NOTE: aaaaa, thank you sm for submitting and writing this masterpiece, ☆ starlight anon! i'm so sorry that i wasn't able to post this asap but now, i'm sobbing as i read this. (/pos) do give this a read if you have the time and show ☆ starlight anon (@/hermosacolibri) some support for their godly writing 💐 this work does not belong to me, all credits go to ☆ starlight anon!

+ tagging @zhongrin — ehe! rin jie, you gotta take a look at this <3

CW: fem!reader, mentions of pregnancy and childbirth (in zhongli's part), reader has a vision (geo for zhongli and electro for ayato).

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

SYNOPSIS: Many consider your disability as a burden, but he finds a way to make it a blessing in disguise. What makes us flawed is what makes us unique, and that is what he considers the most beautiful thing about you—an imperfection he dearly adores. Nevertheless, he knows of your lingering sorrows and thus seeks a way to support you in the best way he could.

CHARACTERS: Zhongli, Kamisato Ayato

NOTE: I have decided to just submit the excerpts for these two and dedicated them to Rin and you respectively lol. I kept getting ideas and suddenly there were more characters to write, which made the entry too long. If you or the others wish to read more, I have an account on Quotev (a writing platform) that compiled all these sorts of literary works. People can also request there. I will provide the link if anyone is interested once I get everything cleaned up :)

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ZHONGLI is a god whom has lived for eons, and has yet to begin his life at the same time. After his six millennia of existence, he has been known by many names and bestowed countless titles. Some are hearsay, and some are legitimate—all are bonded through his contracts. As the Prime Adeptus, he is the warrior god named Morax who subdued the rage of oceans and monsters by rain of spears. To all of Liyue, he is the mighty Rex Lapis whom stood as the overseer of contracts, history, and commerce. By the word of Celestia, he is the Geo Archon whom holds dominion over the Gnosis; and in the eyes of Teyvat, that made him god amongst gods even if he felt otherwise under the divine gaze.

Alas, when he finally stepped down from the lonely throne, his words to the Traveler omitted a particular truth from him—

—that is, his reason of retirement.

Zhongli spoke of erosion, and even the merchant whom made him realize that his job was done.

However, he did not speak of you.

Of course, with two Harbingers present, his secrecy is understandably sound judgment. Nevertheless, even when he attained privacy to speak personally, he finds it hard to disclose about you. Perhaps, it is a draconic instinct to hoard and protect what he has claimed to be his.

The only other individual just as protective over any knowledge of your existence is Ningguang.

After all, the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing is also known as your dear older sister.

Ningguang raised you since the beginning, even if she had been a mere child herself. Your parents are never spoken, and you never asked. Even when you find yourself in comparison to other children with mothers and fathers, your older sister was always all you needed and wanted. Tirelessly, she carried you on her back while her arms were occupied by a basket of wares to be sold. Barefoot, she journeyed from the sands of Yaoguang Shoal to the main capital of Liyue Harbor to make ends meet. Every weekend, you will both scavenge anything that can be sold.

The first gift she ever bought you was an intricate erhu of the best craftsmanship.

It had been your smiles that told her everything will be worth the effort. It had been your songs that soothed the ache of muscles and the weariness of mind. It had been your words that invigorated her ambition to become something more.

“I love you, jiejie!”

“…I love you too, meimei.”

Nothing would stop Ningguang from rising to the top and giving you the life you deserve.

Time is cruel to mortals and always issues a test of faith to see them thrive. In one such incident, it has been proven that you and Ningguang are true sisters in every sense of the word. Her determination can only be rivalled by yours, and the resolve which shine like stars in your eyes is unconquerable.

Your older sister had once fallen to sickness. She refused to tell you where she kept the money, not wanting to waste it to buy medicine. You furiously argued with her about it but nothing could change her mind. Thus, at the dark of night, you treaded the path towards Jueyun Karst. The entire map of Liyue has been engraved in your mind since you could walk. Even when nothing but black greets your blank eyes, it would have been child’s play to travel into the abode of adepti.

That is, of course, if not for the adepti’s indignant anger at your trespassing.

Fortunately, you stole a Sigil of Permission.

“My sister is ill,” you told them, “and I require your aid to concoct a medicine.”

You will never know that what eventually convinced them is how gold illuminated your form. It channels your soul, and then solidifies into a circlet. At its center, a Geo Vision proudly sparkled.

Mountain Shaper thus led you to collect herbs that you would need. Moon Carver carried you on his back while Cloud Retainer flew towards Yaoguang Shoal with Ganyu on hers to check on your sister. In the distance, the Conqueror of Demons obliterated all other threats that may come your way.

By morning, Ningguang was on a road to recovery and you thanked the adepti by playing your erhu for them every day.

Amongst these private performances, you ended up in Guili Plains alone.

A melody has been haunting your dreams. It is very melancholic yet profoundly moving, like a promise between lovers. The composition began to write itself in the abyssal void of your sight. Then, it played smoothly by your delicate hands on the strings. Your voice echoed across the plains, bequeathing a sense of serenity that mortals rarely have talent to supply.

Once again, the Lord of Geo has been enchanted as he listened to your lullaby.

“Milord, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Your inquiry was met with silence, but you can still feel his piercing eyes on you. Thankfully, you are patient as you are resilient.

The sound of footsteps made your ears perk up. You could not stop yourself from tilting your head to the direction of its origin. The omnipotence of adeptal energy dominated the air, making you dazed for a few seconds. However, there was a charming scent that you recognize. It belongs to a wild glaze lily, one especially helped to bloom by music.

Morax paused before where you sat, staring into your curious gaze looking up at him. The blindness clouded them yet your earnest intrigue made them shimmer glamorously. Autumn ginkgo leaves rain upon you whom sat beneath the shade of its tree, and he whom loomed over your mortal form. He lifts the glaze lily in his hand to bless its petals with a chaste kiss. Then, he slowly presents it to you.

A steady hand tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, planting the flower as an ornament. Your sensitive skin felt the callouses that must be from a lifetime of battle and slaughter. Alas, your cheeks only flush brightly at their tender caress. His fingertips glide through your tresses very subtly, giving you agency to pull away from his touch.

Morax pulls a lock of hair towards his lips, giving it the same attention as he did the glaze lily.

Then, with a promising smile, he lets go—

—and then vanishes in a blink.

That encounter was the first of many secrets you kept from your older sister.

A week later, a gentleman named Zhongli introduces himself to you. You narrow your eyes in suspicion and confusion. His presence, the aura of Rex Lapis, is unmistakable to you. Nevertheless, you respond with quiet acceptance while listening to his pulse settle down in relief.

It was not your place to question an archon anyway, nor is it your responsibility.

Aside from music, you always held fascination for botany. After refusing your sister’s offer to live with her in the Jade Chamber, she built you an estate with a large garden and a quaint greenhouse. From here, you have invented a unique art known as Geo Crystalline Preservation. You use the flowers in your garden to crystallize them with your Vision, but retain their scent like a real flower. By this method, you manage to pluck wild glaze lilies and preserve their natural fragrance after cultivation.

Your first specimen was the glaze lily gifted by your archon, now a part of your circlet.

Suddenly, wild glaze lilies were being revived to its former vast numbers in your garden.

Your artform can be applied to anything too. It can become a stained glass decor, a clothing design, an unwilting bouquet, and even a way to preserve food ingredients. For this reason, your fresh business had immediately made connections with all sorts of exchange across Liyue Harbor. In turn, you have developed a very reliable information network that answers to nobody but yourself. Twice, a visit from Yelan made your heart swell with pride to know you have information that eludes her.

Zhongli was more of a consultant or an advisor who directs you to the most beneficial proposals. It can be most helpful whenever you felt lost in making critical decisions that require more tact. He even made it possible for you to create a strong alliance with the Feiyun Commerce Guild. A part of you is still uncertain if that was worth the hassle that the esteemed Young Master Xingqiu tends to bring to your doorstep.

By the words of Rex Lapis, the core foundation of contracts is fairness. Thus, you asked Zhongli what he wants in exchange for his hard work.

“I only wish for your company,” Zhongli replied, “and—if you would allow it—a chance to court you.”

A gentle kiss lands upon your forehead. It brought back flashes of your first meeting under the ginkgo tree, when he was a god rather than a mortal. You used names to keep them separate, yet this moment has proven that Zhongli is Rex Lapis and Morax.

A cor lapis by any other name would nonetheless be as resplendent.

Then, two years later, he proposed and you said yes.

That resulted to an interesting private discussion between Zhongli and Ningguang. Neither of them disclosed any details other than the fact your sister gave her sincere blessings for the marriage. The wedding was reserved yet was also nothing short of extravagant. The collaboration of your sister and husband had you expecting nothing less, if you were being honest.

Another year later, the final Rite of Descension turns into a Rite of Parting.

You knew of Zhongli’s plan. He had to confide the details to you, excluding the Tsaritsa’s contract. It was the only way to persuade you into staying in Wangshu Inn for a few weeks, to make sure you do not get caught in the crossfire. He promises his intervention if all goes awry, if it endangers your sister as well as the rest of Liyue Harbor.

Then, it was all over.

Zhongli came home to kiss you with fervor you have never felt from him since your wedding night.

Later, the geo lines on his arms pulse with luminous glow in your marital bedroom. It reflected upon his amber eyes, pupils alternating between slits and dilation as his instincts purred. He closed his eyes with an inaudible sigh before projecting himself into your dreamscape.

As a blind person, you have an odd way of dreaming.

You only hear amidst the abyss and a composition always reverberates. When visited by him, everything gets reconstructed to a meadow of glaze lilies. At its heart is a Statue of the Seven. He had learnt that the imagery of stars twinkling above your heads is a sign that his own dreamscape had begun to merge with yours. A golden aurora borealis emanated pure geo energy, representing elemental resonance.

Always, the Geo Archon finds himself replacing his own self on the statue when he visits. He opens his eyes to the perspective of the statue. The illusionary Memory of Dust remains afloat beside him with a few geo crystalflies. He shall always find you fast asleep, wearing a hanfu composed of his colors. At times, your head is only resting on the armrest or his lap; and other times you are already in his arms.

Then, he cradles you closely while he listens to the tunes you dream. He has grown familiar with most of them through your erhu. A few would puzzle him, and he would then realize they are your unfinished compositions.

There was also one other reason he strictly kept you far from the events in the harbor.

You are with child.

Zhongli recalls the time you discussed the concept of illumination with him. It is the method of possibly enlightening a mortal to become an adeptus. The topic of you becoming immortal was only broached once and never again. Your own perspective in the matter was irrelevant, mostly because you were incompatible for the procedure. Although far from being an invalid, your constitution is far from ideal for such arduous illumination.

The Lord of Geo was overjoyed when you relayed the news of your pregnancy the first time. Alas, when the celebratory mood had gone, the slap of reality finally registered.

This will be a difficult ordeal for you, carrying a child that is half-adeptus.

Yanfei was conceived and born by a human mother, delivered through a complicated pregnancy. The health concerns never seemed to end, and her mother’s miraculous survival was only thanks to her tenacity according to her father. Even then, she is a mortal woman in perfectly good health.

If you were not capable of undergoing illumination, can you even survive this pregnancy?

No matter the answer though, Zhongli knows you are determined to persevere. For the sake of the life within your womb, you will endure all the hardships that will be thrown your way.

That fact is why he fell in love with you.

Perhaps, there was one thing he could do to help you even if it was not a full illumination.

As he once did for Azhdaha, the Lord of Geo can bless you the gift of sight.

You can see your child when they are born.

Zhongli lifts his head from where it rested on your crown. He tilts your chin up to gaze upon your visage and feel your breath against his skin. His fingertips grazed your eyelids, and the golden light of his geo energy engulfs the dreamscape. As everything fades into white, he leans down so his lips meet yours…

…and then, you both awaken.

However, for the first time, the haunting darkness that usually welcomed you has been replaced with color.

You saw a man hovering over you, lips millimeters apart from yours. Dark brown hair is embellished with honey gold, long strands gliding over his toned shoulders. Sharp amber eyes glared into yours, an unreadable sheen making them glow. Your hand reaches up to touch his pale cheek, thumb tracing the red outlining his gaze.

You realize. This is your husband.

“Zhongli…!” You gasped, tears in your eyes.

He smiles like a breathtaking work of art, a godly beauty that blessed you to be his wife.

“Hello, tian xin.”

Your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him into an ecstatic embrace and blissful kiss. He obliges, taking all you have and giving you all that is his.

Someday, you will no longer stay by his side.

Nevertheless, the proof of your existence will live through your child—and so will the love, the miracle that conceived them, which you shared with him. As such, you will continue to shine like gold in his memories forevermore.

This is not a mere contract, but a solemn promise that even Celestia can never break—

“My memories of you are treasures not even erosion can steal away.”

•~•~•

KAMISATO AYATO is a man whose heart seeks an equally capable partner. The idea of one day having to choose another half is something to consider as part of his duty. After all, the head of a noble clan is responsible for ensuring that its bloodline continues to prosper. To sire an heir, he must someday select a bride. His choice will lead to the rise of a matriarch within the Kamisato Clan. It must be a woman with the caliber to lead as the gentle hand of the Yashiro Commission to his iron fist. A fierce yet kind soul is necessary to command the Shuumatsuban in his place should the need ever arise. Furthermore, if he must eventually settle for a loveless marriage, his desire is to at least gain a lifelong friend. They must have the same depth of loyalty to his family, and the same steadfast resolve to uphold their principles.

Otherwise, he is very certain any other whom wishes to stand by his side will only break. With how he acts and carries himself, the people of Inazuma are more inclined to agree. Indeed, a wife less than up to par would be nothing short of disappointing.

Be that as it may, the Yashiro Commissioner can be a complicated man to love.

Ayato is a man who lives his life wearing a thousand masks, with little to no distinction between his true self and facades. At the early deaths of his parents, he was a young boy that had been forced into the lethal grind of political battles. To protect his little sister, he took up the blade to eliminate those who threaten them amidst the power struggle.

Just like that, his heart became a closely guarded vault privy to a trusted few.

Loving Ayato is likened to water, the same element he wields as weapon and shield. In calm days, he is transparent and clear to see. In chaotic nights, his own motives are harder to understand. There are times he can be as volatile as rapids, and others be as nurturing as a cool spring.

The most dangerous thing about loving Ayato is if you allow yourself to drown in him.

Alas, all of Inazuma is left dumbfounded when he abruptly announces his marriage to you.

The Yashiro Commissioner had gone missing for a week. A note with his penmanship claims he has a personal errand to run. Then, he returns to the estate—holding your hand while another clenches a scroll, sealed by the wax insignia of the Narukami Shrine and the Raiden Shogun. A glance at your respective hands reveal the glint of silver wedding bands, with camellia flower engravement filled by white jade.

Kamisato Ayato eloped with you.

“From here onwards,” Ayato declared, “[Name] shall be living in the Kamisato Estate as my wife. Please treat her with the same respect you do for me.”

The idea seems to intimidate you, a frown tugging your lips. Your husband, however, squeezed your hand in reassurance. Pacified, you end up snuggling your cheek onto his arm. The action is successful in grounding your senses, focusing on Ayato’s scent and body heat. He obliges this by gently pulling you closer, practically trapping your own arm to his side.

Ayaka hid a smile of amusement behind her fan, as her eyes softened in endearment.

“Of course, brother.” She replied.

Thoma nodded, beaming in welcome as you peeked at him and the young miss. Despite their slightest reservation upon this rushed turn of events, they trust Ayato.

Although, the Shirasagi Himegimi cannot help but feel you looked somewhat familiar.

You are a very peculiar woman, especially in a nation as conservative and traditional as Inazuma. In fact, some believe you seem more like an antithesis to your husband. Whereas he is always poised and very composed, there is always an untamed ferocity in you that refuses to comply to social norms. You can nevertheless dress as elegantly as any other noble aristocrat, speak as eloquently as any well-educated lady. If not for your infamous eccentricities, nobody would have doubted why Ayato chose you. It is quite renowned that you shamelessly stroll Inazuma’s main city in a commoner’s yukata—a messy bun for a hairstyle, and sometimes going barefoot. You despise social events and acted more elusive than your mysterious husband.

The servants were initially wary yet none of them can deny your positive influence. The household has never been so efficient and organized until you took on managing its affairs. Thoma was astonished to realize that he ended up with more free time under your authority. The meticulous way you stick to a form of schedule and your quick wit to adapt have enabled the Kamisato Estate to operate smoothly, with or without the siblings present. In fact, some unique tasks you assign to Thoma aided him into securing businesses in Ritou. As equal exchange for your patronage, you have flawlessly expanded the Shuumatsuban’s spy network.

Ayaka also found respite in her endeavors as face of the clan. She initially had a difficult time with being your mentor of sorts in the life of nobility. However, your creativity in problem solving and quick wit has been such help in balancing her own matters.

Thoma began to understand your ways when he has become in charge of all your meals. There is a set routine for every day of the week, and then a specific assortment of snacks with tea expected at certain hours. Each ingredient is meticulously picked and every dish is carefully prepared. If even one thing is out of place, you will notice with a single bite/sip and you would refuse to eat—which results to a very moody mistress for the rest of the estate.

It was only thanks to how well Ayato knew you that everyone else was able to keep up. He is aware of all factors to your behavior and how to aptly respond to them. His stern yet precise instructions left no room for mistakes if it meant taking care of you properly in his absence. It was as if he grew up with you due to the sheer amount of experience he has in how to deal with your odd patterns.

As months passed, Ayaka finally realized.

That is because her brother did grow up with you.

Ayato met you long ago when he was a mere lonely boy, burdened with the title of clan heir. He found you digging around the beach near his estate, an Electro Vision on your waist. A line of seashells were set on a flat rock beside you, all arranged by type as rows and by size as columns.

You glanced up at him. Your Vision flickers, making him tense—

—and then lightning struck the sands.

As a boy, Ayato watched in awe as the grains turned into glass. You manipulated the temperature of the element, heating the sand in quick seconds to create multiple pieces. He ended up getting closer, and it was enough to spook you. After you were finished, you hastily stood up and collected your things before sprinting away.

“Wait…!” Ayato exclaimed.

You did not listen.

The young master pouted, thinking he would never see you again. It was a shame since he found you so fascinating. He looked down and saw some strange hollow tubes in the shores, resembling coral.

That day, he went home a little despondent.

Ayato was pleasantly surprised to see you again the next day—same place, same hour. You are polishing the shells this time, and occasionally refining them to the shape you want. Small pots of paint surround you, and the Electro Vision is pulsing to be used at any given notice.

This time, you did not run when he got close.

“Fulgurite.”

He flinches as you suddenly spoke. Your eyes were focused on the glass tubes he picked up. They hung from the string of his obi now, which got odd looks from his parents a while ago.

“These…?”

You nodded, “They are fulgurites. You can use them to make jewelry. Want to see?”

That was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Ayato figures out your schedule and how you like sticking to it, so he never misses out when to visit you. It was something you never minded as long as he remained consistent. The times when he did not get the memo, you got annoyed and told him harshly to stop showing up. At first, he felt hurt since he misunderstood. Thankfully, he was mature enough to clarify it with you. Since then, he promised his arrival only on particular days wherein he can assure his free time. At his words, you acted less bothered by his presence and worked on your craft.

The two of you grew up together in those constant stolen moments. He finds out you have a younger brother, and he tells you he has a younger sister. On weekends, you are not on the beach. That is the only time your brother is able to spend time with you instead of honing his swordsmanship.

In stormy days, he had to struggle pulling you into the estate. Every time, he braced himself for your ire but patiently coaxes you over it. The most effective method is to occupy your mind with something else, and let your hands be busy crafting. Once you are fixated, Ayato can be allowed into your safe space again and he is able to take care of you. Henceforth, rainy days are spent in his estate and that became the new norm for your daily routine. Ayato adapts into creating amendments for your unhealthy habits.

You still persistently argue that storms are perfect for making petrified lightning glass.

Nevertheless, you express gratitude for his sincere care and affection. No one has ever been so doting on you aside from your brother. In turn, Ayato felt touched that you treat him as one of the only two people you explicitly trust. You even adjust yourself to be considerate of his own needs, despite the clear discomfort it sometimes caused you.

When his parents died, you were his greatest pillar of support.

Ayato has always known to never underestimate you in any way. What made you different did not make you dumb. In fact, it is revealed in that dark period that you were more brilliant than your peers. It was only thanks to your guidance that he found direction how to proceed. It was due to your judgment that he knew who to trust, which ties needed to be severed for safety. Every critical decision was consulted by you, and he was awed when the results you predict come to fruition. When his demons made him lose sleep, you provided relief by playing with his hair.

When he finally triumphed in the succession, you gave him a precious gift.

You smiled. Of utmost sincerity, you smiled ever so sweetly and so warmly.

That is the day Ayato knew you were the one.

Unfortunately, he had taken too long to confess that to you. Too many years slipped past his fingers due to his obligations.

Then, the Vision Hunt Decree happened—

—and you went missing.

A young man named Kaedehara Kazuha barged into his estate, panicked and distressed. He called for Ayato, kneeling as he pleaded for help in finding his older sister—you. The wind has gone silent regarding your whereabouts, and he feared the worst due to the recent decree.

Of course, the Yashiro Commissioner wasted no time in utilizing his power to be of aid.

It was for naught.

Soon, he could not even protect your brother when the young man was branded as a wanted criminal.

Kazuha witnessed the love Ayato holds for you—a passion he deems worthy of his kin. He knew of the bond you shared with him, which is why he came to the man for help. Meeting the man personally, the winds crooned in approval—to which the ronin only smiled, a little resigned yet mostly relieved.

Someone else can take care of you now.

“Aneue spoke of you fondly.” He said, “If anyone can find her, it’s you.”

The younger male presents him a box.

“She called it a tassel chime,” Kazuha explained, “and referred to that piece as Rainmaker.”

It contains a small windchime in the size and design of a tassel, thus the name. A single clamshell ties the knot for the top noose. Camellias on rippling waters is carved onto the blue glass, painted with glittering golden lacquer. Rather than a striker, a ball of glowing white jade is inside the spherical glass with a cowrie shell at its base. The tail is a familiar indigo satin ribbon, his gift to you on the last Irodori Festival. His name is embroidered in your favorite fulgurite threads, and yours on the other side:

Kaedehara [Name].

Ayato knew this is the equivalent of a blessing. He ties it to his sword, aware by use of elemental sight that the energy within it will prevent the glass from breaking even in a skirmish. He makes a promise to your brother that he will stop at nothing to find you, and then ask for your hand.

Eventually, he did.

You stood in an abandoned temple amidst the call of summer. The crystalflies illuminated your form, and the water shimmered like liquid diamonds. The tinkling sounds echoed in Chinju Forest, as the sails of windchimes blew with the nightly breeze.

“[Name]…”

At the call of your name, you turned to face him and Ayato embraces you immediately.

“I want to go home.” You murmur.

The broken tone of your voice devastated him, and he nods while tightening his arms. You hugged him back, hiding your face on his chest while his nuzzled your shoulder.

“Yes, let’s go home now.” He whispered.

The Yashiro Commissioner spared nothing at your expense. He used the name of Kamisato to protect you. As his wife, you are an integral part of the Tri-Commission and one with the Raiden Shogun’s faction. You cannot be touched by the decree like your brother feared. Although you desire no riches, Ayato sought to provide something that will soothe your unease at the drastic changes in your life.

Thus, in an isolated wing of the estate, there was your personal workshop.

A safe haven. All for you.

Ayato leaned back with you in his arms, cuddling by the veranda. You were sorting through your brother’s letters, worried, and missing him dearly. Looking up at your husband, he smiles and kisses you fervently.

“I’m here.” He reassures.

You wrap your arms around his neck in response, snuggling his chest to nap. He adjusts you on his lap and rewraps the blanket around you. His long fingers comb through your hair, humming contently.

Heartbound lullabies in hiraeth, ever so mellifluous—

“You are my clarity amidst sullied waters, a wish to forever keep.”

[siren-serenity]

↳ *𝘞𝘌'𝘙𝘌 𝘖𝘗𝘌𝘕 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘉𝘜𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘌𝘚𝘚!* ༉‧₊˚✧

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Sypnosis: After many long discussions with Headmaster Crowley, the prefect of Ramshackle finally had permission to open up their own restaurant - ♡ Cafe Amor ♡! With a new restaurant in the midst, students scurry to discover what is so amazing about it and Cafe Amor takes off! Mostro Lounge and the Mystery Shop would soon be left in the dust as the new competitor, Cafe Amor, takes top spot, making it the Battle of the Restaurants!

↳ *𝘙𝘌𝘘𝘜𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘚!༉‧₊˚✧

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ How to Join!

The requesters (you guys or your TWST! OCs) will be workers at Cafe Amor. Either by being baristas or behind-the-scenes chefs. Your TWST! partner will be the customer and I'll write a small drabble of your and his interactions! All Twisted Wonderland characters will be allowed even Royal Sword Academy. Noble Bell College will not be included because as a TWST ENG player, a Glorious Masquerade hasn't appeared yet.

You may send in more than one request, the more the merrier ♡! However, please include your/your oc's character's personality (linking their profile is also okay) so I can know how to canonly write for you.

If you want a specific interaction, go ahead and request!

This will last until September 15st!

I accept any Twisted Wonderland character (except Noble Bell College students and spoilers from Chapter 7 on TWST JPN), even the teachers as long as it is either platonic or your twisted wonderland OC is around the same age (no toxic age gaps allowed!)

If you're confused, here is a simple format!

Example: [insert yuusona/twst oc] and azul ashengrotto! what if my yuusona was serving azul coffee but it accidentally spilled on him?

Have fun, darlings! I can't wait to see what you have in store for me~ ♡♡

Don't worry if you're a mutual or not! Think of this as a way to make more moots hehe. I'll take requests from anyone and everyone!! (reblogs are appreciated~)

↳ *𝘛𝘈𝘎𝘚!* ༉‧₊˚✧

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Taglist: @krenenbaker, @moonlitnyx, @azulashengrottospiano. @eynnwwyjth, @parad-ice-lostandfound, @officialdaydreamer00, @leonistic, @plutosring, @starsilluminateourgalaxy, @aceofsweets, @rav--en, @dowdos, @deathkat657, @escha-evenstar, @toffeeeez, @dearest-siblingtwst, @biromanticboba, @savanaclaw1996, @candlewitch-cryptic, @lowenergyallday

please reblog or dm if you wish to be tagged!!

↳ *𝘗𝘙𝘖𝘓𝘖𝘎𝘜𝘌!* ༉‧₊˚✧

"I'm glad we could come to an agreement, Headmaster," Siren gives Crowley a closed-eyed smile, folding her well-manicured hands in her lap. He sweats nervously, wiping away small beads of sweat that formed.

"Yes, yes," He sweatdropped. "Indeed, the negotiations are finally over! Am I not gracious for agreeing to your...demands."

Siren nodded, a pleasant smile plastered to her face. "Of course. Now, the down payment, as promised? 500 thousand madols, if you would."

The headmaster fake sobbed as he took out his black credit card and with shaking hands, passed it to a passive-looking Siren who took it from his grasp.

"Oh, woe is me!" He cried out. "Alas, as a kind and generous headmaster, I must honor my word!"

She nodded, standing up and patting her legs to rid of the dust.

"Don't worry, headmaster," Her sapphire eyes gleamed and for a few seconds, Crowley felt the same shiver go down his spine when he spoke to young Azul Ashengrotto but a year ago. "My cafe will be an astonishing success!"

The golden-masked headmaster nodded feverishly. "A-Ah and the 20% of the profit will be mine yes?"

Tapping the rolled-up contract in her hand, Siren gave him a frosty glare. Did he really think she would fall for it? "15%, Headmaster. Please do keep up."

He slouched and nodded, pretending as if he never spoke. "But of course! Apologies, my dear, it seems that my memory has become weaker and weaker!"

"Until next time, goodnight Headmaster," Siren gave him a quick bow before retreating. The moment the doors slammed closed behind her, Headmaster Crowley let out a giant sigh and leaned back in his chair. His sharp, golden talons tapped against the other copy of the agreement, and he hummed.

"Cafe Amor...I wonder what will happen?"

On the other side, Siren quickly made her way back to Ramshackle. Even the dark, dusty, grimy condition of the building couldn't sour her mood. She let a smirk crawl up her face.

"Cafe Amor, you will be my greatest success!"

[nyanbinaryrose]

Bird WIP Ask Game, for YGO:

🦚 a sexy quote (spicy, outright nsfw, etc--if you're not comfortable with this one specify in the tags!)

🦃 a big, meaty quote (JUST A BIG OL PARAGRAPH YOU WANNA SHARE)

🦜 a pretty quote (you like the prose, or symbolism, or it's poetic, or you just like how it feels/the word choice!)

🦅 an angsty quote (something PAINFUL!! ouch ouch ouch!)

🦚 a sexy quote (spicy, outright nsfw, etc--if you're not comfortable with this one specify in the tags!)

Malik continued, leaning in until they was nose-to-nose, “-and I want you to spend all your time at the office today thinking about all the things I’m going to write on your beautiful skin,” his eyes darkened, “and then I’m going to fuck you until you believe them, warda.”

🦃 a big, meaty quote (JUST A BIG OL PARAGRAPH YOU WANNA SHARE)

“I…” Did this woman want him dead, or did she just expect Pele not to have spared him? Siegfried thought back to the night, navigating past the pain of not being able to recall much. He wished he could remember everything, but alas, he’d been unconscious for most of it- rendered useless and unable to protect Leon. He didn't even learned his brother was missing until he woke up in the hospital, hours after the boy’s capture. Some might call it a blessing that he didn’t remember the majority of such a horrific event, but where his memory could not fill in the gaps, he found paranoia chomping at the bit to provide answers.

🦜 a pretty quote (you like the prose, or symbolism, or it's poetic, or you just like how it feels/the word choice!)

"I will never use you. I will never hurt you. I will never let the fire within you die."

🦅 an angsty quote (something PAINFUL!! ouch ouch ouch!)

It was a step too far, Siegfried realized, as his head spun, and his cheek burned. She’d slapped him, hard, harder than she ever had in his 20 years of life. His whole body twisted, and he nearly fell to the ground at the force of it. His mother let her hand drift back down to her side. Her face was locked, resolute in condemnation, “Do you feel big and strong, Siegfried? Do you feel like a man now, having spoken your mind?” Her voice dripped with venom. Whatever strength he had vanished. He was back to being a little boy, freshly slapped, ready to run and sob into the pillows of his bed. He was a fool. He’d forgotten where he learned to play so nasty.  His mother was a master at her craft.

thanks so much for the ask!

[kckenobi]

thanks for the tag @katierosefun !!!! 💗

do you make your bed? hardly EVER, but in my defense, I pretty much am only in my bedroom when I'm going to sleep or am talking on the phone

what's your favorite number? It's been 8 since I was a kid and my mom said it was her favorite number ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

what is your job? teacher!

if you could go back to school, would you? I'm finishing my masters in a couple of weeks, and unfortunately I really haven't enjoyed it — but that's not because I don't like learning and school, more just a product of the actual institution and the fact that doing night classes half-time with a full-time job is fuckin hard!!! so I wouldn't rule out going back to school, especially because someday I think I'd like to train future teachers and that often involves a PhD, so we'll see :)

can you parallel park? YES and that's honestly my greatest flex.

a job you had that would surprise people? I don't think i have any super surprising past jobs.....i sing in weddings on the side? And funerals?

do you think aliens are real? Totally, it's statistically SO unlikely that the conditions for life as we know it occurred only once

can you drive a manual car? Okay listen,,,,LISTEN,,,.,,,I HAVE driven a manual car. I CAN. However,,,,,it was horrific. My grandfather taught me bc he had a manual and thought everyone should know how to use a stick shift, and I was like haha!!! How hard can it be!!! I love learning new things!!! WRONG it was SO HARD the car stalled CONSTANTLY bc I couldn't time the clutch/gas change properly, literally hyperventilated when I had to (gasp) STOP AT A RED LIGHT on a HILL bc oh god what if it starts going backward and I can't stop WHAT IF— so yeah, honestly I wish I liked it bc it did feel kind of cool, like flying a space ship bc you as the driver have so much more control than with an automatic transmission. But sadly, I did not cross the bridge from stressful to enjoyable lol

what's your guilty pleasure? I try not to feel guilt about the things I enjoy, but maybe it's how much sugar I like in my tea and coffee?

tattoos? sadly I have a weird thing about symmetry (and also making permanent decisions LOL) that I think will probably prevent me from getting one, but I do like the thought

favorite color? probably green!

favorite type of music? folk!!! We love some acoustic guitar and cutting lyrics

do you like puzzles? It seems so contrary to my personality but I actually hate puzzles. They take too long and for no reward bc then you just have to put it all away lol

any phobias? I am claustrophobic, though I've gotten so much better than I used to be!!! Ur girl can ride elevators and be totally calm unless they make weird sounds or there's too many people on them, which is fabulous woooooOoOoOo!!! Also randomly, this is a new one, needles?

favorite childhood sport? I was not a sports person, but baseball

do you talk to yourself? I have an hour commute to work, so the 2 hours I spend alone in the car daily are RIPE with out-loud conversations I have with myself

what movie(s) do you adore? Finch made me SOB, in the best way, and it's still one of my favorites even though I haven't seen it since the first time 3 years ago. Just—at the end of the world there are still butterflies. And to keep going, to be human, is to just love someone more than yourself. TEARS

coffee or tea? I hate that now my answer is generally COFFEE, who am I, i identified as a tea drinker for so long

first thing you wanted to be growing up? an astronaut (but alas, see claustrophobia), and a singing veterinarian (maybe I thought I'd sing the animals back to health, who knows?)

no-pressure tags: @lightasthesun @giggles-and-freckles @pandora15 @siarrawrites @ahsokryze @skywalker-tano-kenobi

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

15 Questions

Thanks for the tag Moya!

1. Are you named for anyone?

Technically yes. My middle name is a biblical one, and also my…. Aunt?? Cousin? I’ve met her but I think she’s my dad’s first cousin and I don’t know what that means I am to her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Like… what type of cry? Sobbed? End of December. Cried? About a week ago. From laughter? Sunday night. My brother was building a clearance gingerbread house and the icing said “made in a nut free facility” and my brother leaned over to me and said “so no men there?” And I lost it. Later he just fucking leaned over and started to hands free eat the house and I lost it again. Just little tears? Last night. I saw an instagram reel and I got misty eyed. I don’t remember what it was about.

3. Do you have kids?

Haha no. I’m not strictly opposed? But I’m not fucking doing that by myself and relationships are real low priority to me.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I used to more. Not so much anymore?

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Mostly what they’re doing. And then if they seem happy or not.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Honestly neither but I guess happy endings. But not inspiring movies. I fucking hate inspiring movies I spent enough time in church having my emotions manipulated I’m not fucking paying to sit and do it again. Miss me with that shit.

8. Any special talents?

Talent? Uh, I have super flexible shoulders? I guess I would consider my natural aptitude to figure shit out as a talent? Other things I would consider as skills cause I worked for them. So like crafts and my flexibility and writing.

9. Where were you born?

Florida.

10. What are your hobbies?

You don’t have the time to have me list them. And they rotate pretty frequently. But!! I just got a drop spindle and I’m currently obsessed with it. But crafts are definitely a constant. Any craft, I’ve probably tried it once. I’m really not kidding.

11. Have any pets?

Not at the moment. I want rats someday but I’m so busy I wouldn’t be able to give them a good life 😞

12. What sports have you played?

As a child: basketball, soccer, football (like American football lol), tennis, cheerleading.

As an adults I’m pretty active but not really in organized sports. Now I’m doing mostly running, gymnastics, and pole dancing.

13. How tall are you?

5 foot….. 5??? 6???

14. Favorite subject in school?

I honestly liked most of it. I hated geometry tho. One I always wanted to do was Linguistic but alas, FL state law kept me from doing it. 😭 (not that like linguistics specifically is illegal, google excess credit hour laws)

15. Dream job?

Hahahah i don’t even know. I don’t particularly want to work. However I wish I could do animal education at a zoo. I would love that. I would love just answering questions about iguanas.

Oh. Oh wait… my like, dream unbelievable never going to happen job would be an acrobat. Fuck. When I was younger interacting with circus related material like movies or books or even color palets would make my heart hurt. Like sometimes I couldn’t interact with it because it just hurt so much. It’s just so cool and fucking magical and mesmerizing. I loved it. And even at like 15 I thought it was too late for me to ever be a part of that world.

And then when I turned 22 and had a fucking life meltdown, I was watching fucking unus anus and heard Ethan talking about gymnastics and decided to just… try something. And I quickly found out it wasn’t too late?? That I still had a chance to learn and try and experience circus arts??? Now I’ve tried acrobatics and aerial silks and contortion and pole and got on a trapeze once. And now it’s my motivation for how I take care of myself. I have to eat food and move my body and take care of myself. I have to because if I don’t I’ll never be able to try lyra/aerial hoop. I gotta keep going because I’ve got pole on Wednesday and I’m so close to the body spiral.

When I get emotionally low I remind myself I gotta keep going so I can get back to my circus arts.

(Please note I know circus haven’t always been good and nice and happy places. I get it. I know. I’m not talking about that)

Tagging! @as-a-matter-of-whump @brutal-nemesis @cowboy-anon @i-can-even-burn-salad @jordanstrophe @just-a-silly-little-whumper @milk-carton-whump @poopraven @quietly-by-myself @redstainedsocks @susiequaz12 @thoughtsonhurtandcomfort @ziptiesnfries @tearyvictim @

[thissugarcane]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 (or whatever) TAGS

tagged by @flowerswehadgrowntogether, merci pour le time waster :D I need it today (even if I’m a few days late)

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY?

Nope -- my parents looked in a baby name book, apparently found the weirdest name they could, and went, "yeah, that one". thirty years later I found one other person in the entire universe who'd heard of my name before: their great-great aunt from a nordic country had the same one. note: i am not nordic by any stretch. [insert shrug emoji].

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

at RENT, when I saw it last week. sobbed. outside of that, I don't even know - I don't really cry.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

hella-no.

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

mais oui!

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I'm really not co-ordinated enough to play sports, but I liked the one-on-one tennis lessons I've had (all.... four months of them). that's about it.

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE?

I mean. in a pithy quotable way, to cite matriarch aethyta, "me, I go for asses."

7. EYE COLOUR?

brown.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings for sure, because scary movies either bore me (they are stupid) or give me nightmares (they are effective), and neither reaction is one I enjoy.

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?

...I wish I could say "ties a cherry stem with one's tongue" here but alas, no.

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

the arctic! we left when I was a toddler, then I moved back decades later.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

lots of fandom stuff; I have tried to get into weaving, with some success. I like the concept of crafts but am poor at execution.

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS?

While I'd like a little floof I am a. allergic and b. fairly irresponsible so, pets seem like too much work.

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I claim five feet tall.

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Uh, I accidentally wound up with one (1) degree in classical studies and one (1) degree in cultural studies, so I guess anthropology.

15. DREAM JOB?

pithy quotable answer: I would like to be paid to test mattresses. actually though, the job I do right now (I am an editor!) doesn't suck? Just the environment (and management) does.

no pressure tagging: @snarkyblue, @lucifernous @tausendsorgen only if you want to :D I think everyone else has been tagged already?

[roseusuitta-a]

            ❛  𝐼 𝑑𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑜~ 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 !!    ❜  

                                                                                                        @glovesup​

[btsydtrash]

Euphoric Endeavours [14]

vampire bts, ot7 poly x student yn

(AN: Hi, all! This story is actually already posted on AO3. I hope that you like it!)

also, i don’t have a tag list, but if you follow/put notifications, you’ll get alerted. tysm loves!

find me on twitter        word count: 6.3k

(angst / smut / yandere / gore / fluff)

tw: injury discussion, allusion to vomit, anxiety discussion, panic attack mention, heavy angst

Chapter 14 - ‘Seperation’

The ride back to the house is filled with Young-mi’s tear-filled questions and your weighty silence.

“Taehyung said you were hit by a car, YN,” she cries, hugging you tightly once you’ve gotten into the house safe and sound. “Do you know how scared I was? I didn’t know what to do with myself. I can’t lose you. I just can’t!”

You feel her tears soak into the material of Jungkook’s sweatshirt and you think, detachedly, about how you’re supposed to return it to him, considering you told them all you never wanted to see them again. Young-mi sobs into you, holding you in shaking hands, and you impassively pat her back, comforting her while your mind remains a typhoon of static and roaring noise.

Over her shoulder, you hold the long sleeve up to the light and let yourself imagine that it was Jungkook holding you, and not Young-mi – that he, that they, were giving you comfort at your most vulnerable time – and you find the clamor in your head quietens, if only by a fraction.

You curse yourself for still feeling anything but contempt for them, for being so weak.

A nasty part of you imagines that you had been quite the point of amusement for them for the last few weeks, laughing at your stupidity, mocking your eagerness to please. Pathetic, a low voice hisses, spitefully. It sounds suspiciously like Mei Li, and the thought has you frozen in agony.

After the intense conversation in their apartment, all you wanted was to fall into the blessed safety of your bed and sleep – to dissolve into the blackness of your subconscious and run away from your reality.

Maybe there, you would be able to see their faces and not feel the rising nausea and fear clawing up in your throat, threatening to suffocate you with its acidic flavor.

Alas, that was not to be.

That night, you can’t slept for longer than twenty minutes.

You kept shooting up, covered in a light sheen of sweat, stomach rolling as the haunting images flashed before your eyes, screams lodged like viscous tar in your throat.

Mei Li’s corpse would sing a haunting song to you, stroking your face, staining your skin with her sticky, coppery blood. Her glassy eyes would stare, unseeingly, at you, and her lips, usually so pink and stretched wide around a set of bright teeth, now are cracked and grayish, her teeth jagged and tainted with patches of black blood.

Dream-you would open your mouth to scream, only to have your jaw gripped by Dongwon’s unyielding hand. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, like he was about to shatter your jaw between his fingertips and turn your bones to dust. You almost wish he would put you out of your misery, the guilt threatening to drown you.

“You did this to me,” Mei Li’s hauntingly soft voice would whimper, tears of black ink dripping from her glossy sockets. “You killed me, YN.”

“You whoring around with those blood-suckers caused this,” Dongwon growls, his voice ragged. “You killed us!”

And, it is then that you would always shoot up, chest heaving and stomach rolling, violently.

Young-mi had elected to sleep beside you, too distressed to leave you alone for the night, but she slept through the night, seamlessly. She had always been a heavy sleeper, so you know your anguish wouldn’t have woken her up. You stare down at her for a minute, grateful to have such a loving friend by your side, and yet, the wave of guilt that crashes over your head at the thought of potentially causing her to meet the same fate as Mei Li has you tearing out of the bed to put some much-needed space between you.

Quietly, you step out into the chilly air and eye Jungkook’s sweater, thrown haphazardly over the back of your chair. With a pathetic sigh, you grab it and throw it on, practically swaddling yourself in his scent and having it instantly calm the raging panic in your chest.

“I need to get a grip,” you curse as you step into the bathroom. “I’m such a joke.”

Closing the door behind you, you flick on the white light overhead and stare at your sweaty face in the mirror. The bruises under your eyes make you look even gloomier than usual, and you brush your teeth, banishing the sour taste from your tongue. You avoid the scratches and bruises on your body, in favor of scrubbing at your gums until they bleed.

The clock in the hallway tells you that it’s only four in the morning, and so you make yourself a cup of green tea (the coffee would do nothing but set you on edge for the next few hours and give you a runny tummy), and curl up on the couch, wrapping yourself in a blanket burrito and switching on the TV. Subtitles run along the bottom of the screen rather than having a high volume, taking consideration of your housemates, snoozing away in their rooms.

Just because you are miserable doesn’t mean you need to force anyone else feel the same way.

Taking long sips of your tea, you can’t stop your mind from wandering to those final moments in the apartment.

Remorse wells up in your gut at the memory of their barely-hidden hurt that had had flashed across their faces at your words. While you know, logically, you shouldn’t feel guilty – they had kept you in the dark, they had manipulated your feelings.

They were the ones who lied.

And yet, you still hated seeing the expression on their faces.

Jimin even cried, you’re sure of it.

Knowing that you had to see Taehyung at least in your final creative writing class on Wednesday had you on edge. You don’t want to want to see him, you know it’s best that you don’t. And yet…

You spent the rest of the morning running over every interaction with them until you sent yourself dizzy.

Did Yoongi really mean it when he said that you were important to them? Did Namjoon really appreciate you the way he had mentioned on countless occasions? Did Taehyung really think of you as a friend? Did Jimin really think you were as sweet as he said? Did Hoseok really acknowledge you as a person? Did Jungkook really worry for your health as he often complained about whenever you would fall asleep mid-sentence? Did Jin really care for you, like he had told you?

The dark blue of the early morning sky gave way to the light, and you watch, in rapt fascination, as the sun breaks out over the horizon, unable to tear your eyes away, even after it had long settled high in the sky. Something about that feels ironic, but your brain is too jumbled up to make sense of it.

“Why are you up so early, YN? I got scared when you weren’t in bed,” Young-mi yawns, giving you a sleepy kiss on the forehead. You wince at the contact, not wanting to be touched. She asks, “How are you feeling?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you reply, throat scratchy from misuse. You clear your throat and continue, “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Don’t be silly,” she chastises, softly, her eyes shiny and warm as she smiles at up at you, staring at you as if she was so happy that you were just there, existing, and knowing what you know, knowing what you did, makes you feel green. “Whenever you need me, I’m here.”

You smile, the gesture hollow, holding her hand for a beat before letting her go. “I need to get a new phone today. Want to come with?”

“Sure, I’ve got class at two,” she replies. “Are you taking the week off? You look like you need it.”

“No, I need to go in,” you tell her, the thought of being alone in the house with nothing but your thoughts as company makes you shiver. “I’m a responsible bean.”

“At least let me help you cover up the bruises on your face,” she says, lip thinning in upset. She traces her fingers down the side of your face, and the gesture mirrors the one from your dream so vividly that you can’t help but flinch away. She hides her shock well, brow puckering only fractionally, as she explains, “I don’t want people hounding you.”

After showering and letting her do your face so you appeared somewhat more human, you both left out for town and get a new phone. Thankfully, you were stringent about your Cloud updates, so you didn’t lose much of anything. You called your parents, telling them about what happened (an abbreviated version that was a complete bag of lies, of course), you scan your messages and feel yourself frown.

Nothing new from the boys.

You don’t know whether you should feel relieved or frustrated by their radio silence.

You know you asked for it, and they’re simply respecting your wishes, but a foolish part of you wishes they would assert themselves.

You can’t figure out your own feelings, let alone anything else, so you push forward through your day, going to class and avoiding people’s curious eyes. Your bruises are obvious to the eye, and you hear the rumors but you pay them no mind. Nobody approaches you about information, and at the end of the day, you aren't anybody special so you don't expect any sympathy nor any attention for being injured.

Strangely, though, you don’t care hair nor hide of any of the boys for the whole day. Where they used to fall over themselves to get to you, their lack of presence feels like a boulder attached to your ankle, dragging you further into the depths of your dread. You think you catch a familiar tuft of cherry-red but it's gone before you can really take a look.

You feel lost.

As the hours bleed into one another, the thought that you had been nothing but a sick game of ‘play with the pathetic human’, and now that you had exposed them, they had lost all interest in you. The thought makes you feel physically sick, and you have to leave your class to get some air before the urge to vomit overtakes you.

On you way home, you feel heavier than you did when you first arrived, head hung low and your stomach rolling nastily, as your dark thoughts swirled in your head. Dark and dark and darker still, the pain of being cast aside has shackled itself around your throat.

The next day passes much the same, before you realize it, you are outside your creative writing class, during your presentation slot time, waiting for Taehyung to arrive.

Strangely enough, you find yourself anticipating his presence, rocking excitedly on the balls of your feet as you stare down either side of the corridor, waiting to see the shaggy blue-haired boy that has been one of seven faces that have plagued your nightmares.

The group before you exit the room, visibly crestfallen, and you give them a supportive, polite bow as they pass you by.

Tae still hadn’t arrived, and you were feeling more anxious by the second.

“YN,” your teacher calls, poking her head out. Her skin is wrinkled in places, exposing her age and the glasses at the tip of her nose has always given her the air of severity that never fails to set your class on edge, but considering she has never viewed you as anything other than a fastidious student, she gives you a small smile as she asks, “Are you ready?”

“I- I guess so,” you mumble, gathering your things. You knew the presentation parts that you had been assigned like the back of your hand, but Taehyung’s parts, you hadn’t researched well. “I’m just- I’m sorry, but Taehyung isn’t here yet. Can… Should we wait?”

She glances at you, curiously. “Taehyung already informed me that he wouldn’t be present for this assessment. I would have thought you would know, as his partner.”

You ask, feeling the bottom of your stomach give way, “W-What does that mean for him?”

“His part will have to be done later. Your mark won’t be affected, so don’t worry,” she says, mistaking your expression of pain for one of nervousness. “He says he’s been hospitalized so therefore is unable to come to any classes for the week. Doctor’s orders.”

You try not to let the surprise show on your face.

So that was it?

He just- he didn’t want to see you, at all?

“O-Okay, I’ll go ahead with my parts,” you say, feigning a confidence you didn’t feel at all. Your palms have started to sweat already. You stammer, “T-Thank you for being so reasonable, for both of us.”

She waves you off. “When you’re ready.”

And you begin.

By the end of the presentation, your hands are sticky with sweat and your shirt clings to your back with how much you have perspired. Public speaking had always been a hang up of yours, and Taehyung had spent most of the time comforting you, building you up, acting as your own personal audience, giving nothing but effective feedback.

But now, you’re alone, and it feels so overwhelming that you find yourself in the bathroom afterwards, viciously biting back sobs in the stall, biting into your fist to not make too much noise. He had always said you wouldn’t do it alone, that he would be by your side through the whole thing, but no – he’s a fucking liar.

They all are.

When you get home, you find yourself staring into empty space, grateful for the break that was coming – a month long winter vacation that you had planned on spending with Young-mi in your apartment, but now… going back home sounds like the best idea for you.

That Saturday, Young-mi stands in your doorway, staring disapprovingly at your back as you pack.

“Are you sure you’re okay to be going home? It’s hours by train,” she says, softly.

“I need this,” you reassure her, zipping your suitcase closed with a gruff noise. The sound carries with it a note of finality. You roll your eyes at her pout and say, “I’ll call you every stop of the way.”

“Promise?”

“Yes! Now I really do have to go,” you tell her, nudging your suitcase into the living room. You only have a small case, still having a bunch of clothes and other things back in your home town, so you don’t need much of anything else.

“Let me give you a ride,” she says, grabbing her keys. “I can’t let you catch a cab when I have a perfectly usable car.”

You don’t fight her, and the drive to the coach station is quick. Young-mi kisses both of your cheeks, a little sour over your desire to go home, but understanding your need to get away from the situation. She still doesn’t know about the truth, probably thinking that the trauma from the ‘accident’ has you shaken to your core. Being around her but knowing that with every interaction, you are lying to her (even by omission) makes the seed of guilt feel heavier in your stomach.

Worst is, they still haven’t contacted you, and the longer you go without talking, the more your heart feels as if it is breaking.

/

The journey back to Daegu is long – so long, in fact, that by the end of it, you are bursting for the toilet and you are more than a little grouchy. Those negative feelings all but disappear once you spot the wide line of your father’s back.

Unable to contain yourself, you squeal, excitedly, “Daddy!”

Your Papa, a grizzly bear of a man with a crown of salt and pepper atop his head, turns to where hears your voice and waves, wildly, over his head. He gives you a huge hug, the comforting scent of home enveloping you tightly, and the tears sting at your eyes instantly.

“There’s my little girl,” he says, pressing kisses into your bushy hair. He pushes your head away from his chest and cards his fingers through your curls, a disapproving grimace on his face. “Aish, you shouldn’t let your hair get so messy like this. It’ll take forever to take all the knots out.”

“Can you do it for me, daddy?” You ask, grinning cheekily. “You always did my hair so pretty!”

He squeezes you tightly as he nods, leading you to the car, taking your case from you without a word. He says, “Mom has missed you while you’ve been gone.”

“I’ve missed both of you,” you tell him, beaming. Even being in his presence for a few minutes, you feel your mood lightening considerably. The boys still occupy a space in your mind, never really leaving you alone, but you think you can bear it, if you have your daddy by your side. “I feel like I’ve been gone forever.”

Arriving at your childhood home, you feel a piece of the puzzle, the empty space that had grown into an echoing chasm in your chest, settles in place, and you can finally breathe a little easier.

Your Papa realizes something is wrong and pokes his head out from where he’d been retrieving your case, then asks, frown evident, “Are you okay, Little Bird?”

He’s always called you that, since you had been a baby, apparently. He said it was because your hair reminded him of a new-born chick when you had been first-born. Your Ma says it is because as an infant, you would only ever cry in the early hours of the morning, bringing in the new day like a bird.

You nod, covertly wiping the tears that had appeared in your eyes before they could fall. You lie, “Just happy to be home, that’s all.”

He hums, hooking his arm around your neck and leading you ahead into the house. He doesn’t believe you in the slightest, knowing that you’ve always been a pathetically bad liar, but he lets you have your secrets.

You squeal excitedly, “Mommy!”

Your mother, a svelte woman with coarse curls atop her head, tied back with a vibrant scarf, glasses perched at the tip of her shapely nose and dressed in a comfortable house-dress that was worn with age and use, beams and hugs you tightly.

“My little girl,” she sing-songs, pressing dry kisses all over your face, the two of you falling into fits of giggles as she does so. Her brown skin glows as she takes you in, pushing your hair out of your face and she demands, “When did you get so pretty? Is it because I haven’t seen you since summer?”

She stares at you, eyes flicking to the bruises on your neck and she lets out a worried coo. “Let’s get some food in you. I’ve made all your favorites.”

Grinning over the special treatment, you let her pamper you, knowing that your ‘accident’ had frightened the life out of your parents. To assuage their worry, you let them do what they wanted, being their doll and letting them coddle you until you fell asleep that night, in their bed.

The time you spend in Daegu is wonderfully invigorating. Your parents make it as easy for you as possible, taking you around and showing you off to the neighbors – their smart, special baby girl, studying academics in a big, fancy university in Seoul. Their only child. You bathe in their attentions during the day, rolling around in the consideration that they gave you, only to stare blankly at your phone screen at night, compulsively, wondering how the boys are coping without you.

Resentfully, you assume that they’re fine, because they don’t contact you at all, and the idea of them being okay without you makes you feel sad. More than sad, but you don’t allow yourself to contemplate those kinds of complex feelings, especially not at night, especially not alone.

The urge to go down that particular rabbit-hole tugs at your collar, but you brush it off, concentrating on the splatter of paint on your ceiling from a childhood volcano experiment that went wrong, and like most nights since the incident, you watch as the sun rises, bringing with it along with it another exhausting day.

“Sweetheart, daddy needs to go to the market. Do you want to go with him?” Your mom asks you one morning as you are in the middle of devouring your breakfast.

Nodding, you rush to finish your food, leaving the washing up for your Mom to do and getting dressed in winter clothes (a coat and a hat to hide your curls from the harsh wind and gloves to protect your hands). Your Dad adjusts your hat when he sees you, pulling it further down, as he chastises, “You can’t protect your ears this way. Quit trying to look fashionable in winter.”

You roll your eyes covertly, but let him fuss at you.

It feels good to be babied sometimes.

The drive into town was long, considering your house is hidden away in the countryside, so the two of you sing and dance in the car with each other, watching as the rolling hills coated in white turns into towering buildings draped in red and green lights signaling the approach of Christmas.

Both of you do the shopping at the local greengrocers, grabbing healthy and fresh fruits and veggies for your Mom’s eccentric winter holiday recipes, picking up healthy slices of meats to decorate the table. It will just be the three of you, most likely, but your Ma makes food for her elderly neighbors who don’t have any family to celebrate the holidays with. The three of you had made it a family tradition years ago to take a bunch of Tupperware filled with hot, simple meals to the food bank, as an act of kindness to the less fortunate.

“How about you go and look for a gift for your mother while I go sort some things out at the mechanics?” Your Dad asks, a suggestive raise to his brows.

He owns and works in a mechanics shop in town – small enough to be manned by himself, but popular enough with the public that you don’t worry about finances at home – so you nod, not seeing anything strange about his words. You are old enough to take care of yourself, and your city is hardly dangerous, especially with so many people around, so you both separate with a hug and a kiss as a goodbye.

You walk through the streets of the Christmas Fair, passing by a group of squealing kids, dressed in heavy winter clothes, holding cups of hot chocolate in their red-knuckled hands. One bumps into your legs, cheeks burning shyly as his mother apologizes to you on his behalf, chastising him in local dialect. You chuckle and continue walking on, glancing around the trinkets and small pieces of intricately designed jewelery, hoping to find something that fits your mother’s tastes.

“Oof!”

Someone bumps into you, knocking you off balance, as they stumble out to stand up from a bench tucked under a rustic-looking open tavern selling beer and meat (influenced by the German aesthete), and they move to steady you with a firm grip on your elbow.

“I’m so sorry, I’m awfully clumsy,” they say, self-deprecatingly, and the voice is so painfully familiar that you freeze all over. “Are you okay?”

Almost unwilling to confirm the reality, you slowly glance up, eyes widening at the image before you, feeling your entire being freeze up instantly.

“T-Taehyung?”

His breath seems to catch in his chest at the sight of you and he stammers, “YN?”

A moment of pure peace envelops you as you stare into his dark, shiny eyes. You finally feel like you can breathe, the corner of your chest that had been in absolute turmoil settles instantly at the feeling on his grip on your elbow. He stares down at you, seemingly drinking your appearance in, and he seems just as lost as you are in the bubble of harmony that has encased you both.

That same moment that is absolutely shattered by the rushing reminder of what transpired the last time you met.

You throw away the peace you feel, reminded of the nightmares that have plagued you, the memory of Mei Li’s battered and bloodied skin making anger rise in your throat like magma.

Tearing yourself out of his grip, you hiss, “Are you following me?”

Scandalized, he gasps, rearing back, big eyes widening. “No!”

He looks so offended by the idea that it makes you feel angrier. Well, excuse me for making assumptions.

You gesture to him and spit, “What do you call this?”

“Me, visiting my parents during my vacation,” he replies, frown deepening. His eyes don’t leave your body as he asks, accusingly, “What are you doing here?”

“The same,” you answer. You move away from him further, brow puckering slightly. He’s wearing a long bubble coat that reaches his knees, and a beanie hat is on his head, hiding the tips of his red ears from the cold weather. “I didn’t know you were from this city.”

“You never asked,” he replies, just as quietly.

A little girl pokes her head from around his long legs and stares up at you, pink and red clips in the shape of ladybugs and strawberries decorate the side of her head and she has her hair pulled up in two adorably short pigtails. She pulls at the bottom of his coat and asks, with an endearing lisp, “Oppa, who’s this?”

He lifts her up easily, and says, dipping the girl towards you, “This is Oppa’s friend from big school, YN..." He clears his throat. "YN-ssi, this is my baby sister. You can call her Bug."

She pouts at the nickname, puffing up her chubby cheeks. Taehyung crosses his eyes playfully at her, pressing a kiss to her red nose. She curls into his neck, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes as he cautiously watches you interact with one of the most important people in his life.

He doesn't know what he would do if you reacted badly and made Bug sad.

“Nice to meet you, Bug,” you say, smiling faintly, reaching out to shake her hand. She does so, little fist in a mitten being wrapped up in your own gloved hand, and she bows shyly.

"Hello, unni!" She's beaming, just like him, but her front two teeth are missing. Fuck, she's adorable. She whispers into Taehyung’s ear, loud enough for you to hear and you want to croon at the sight, ”Oppa, her hair is so pretty."

He chuckles. "Your hair is just as pretty, Bug."

You wonder if she’s like him – a vampire. She looks so cute and small, all prettied up and red-cheeked. You can’t connect the dangerous image of a blood-fiend with the visual of such a cute girl, it feels too surreal.

The expression of frustration that he had worn as he looked at you disappears, being replaced by a delightfully bright one when he observes the little girl. He doesn’t want her to sense the awkwardness between the two of you. He looks at Bug as if she’s his whole world, and the sight makes your heart skip a beat.

You would never thought of Taehyung in the context of young children, always thinking the man too playfully immature to handle being around little ones, but he seems so at home, so comfortable in the role of big brother. The errant thought of Taehyung in twenty years assaults you, images of him with children of his own hanging off his long body, identical boxy smiles on their faces, flickers in your mind’s eye.

He suggests, staring at his little sister, “Shall we go and get that chocolate you wanted?”

Her eyes light up at the idea and she nods, vehemently. “Let’s go!”

“Okay, okay,” he coos, kissing her pink cheek. “Oppa will buy you whatever you want, okay? Just don't tell Mom, okay?"

"Okay!" She claps, but the sound is muffled by the mittens covering her palms.

Taehyung turns to you, the guarded expression returning instantly, and he says, bluntly, “I’m sorry for disturbing your vacation.”

He moves to leave with the little girl, but you can’t help but reach out to grasp his elbow, lightly, stalling his movement. The blue-haired artist glances down at you, then at your hand, and back at your face, expression cautious but hopeful.

“Have a g-good vacation,” you mumble, pathetically, shifting your eyes from his to the floor.

The vampire stares down at you, brow creasing, before he nods, curtly. “And you.”

Then, he’s gone, sweeping down the brightly-lit street with his little sister in his arms, the two of them singing the entire way.

You wonder, idly, if this is how Fate manifests.

How else can you make sense of bumping into one of the only people in the world that had the ability to mess you up inside so deeply that you have to take a seat to steady yourself, on the precipice of a panic attack.

What you don’t see is Taehyung experiencing the same internal battle mere feet from your form, staring unseeingly ahead while his little sister babbles, excitedly, in his ear, his mind whirring with the irony of it all. He had left Seoul to come home and get away from the guilt that was practically eating him alive. And now, his home town is tainted with that same sensation – seeing you brought it all back, full-force and without mercy.

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

- end - 

Masterlist / Chapter (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16)

[celestiachan]

So I saw some tags on a reblog of one of my fics that were like "hey how does Green know that Second has these nightmares" and uh. Now I'm writing it

Brush, brush, brush.

Spit.

He turned and wiped his mouth on a towel. It was rare for him to be sleeping this early, but after Blue and Second actually non-metaphorically killed him, he was a little tired.

Surprisingly enough, the parts where they hit him didn't hurt. They just felt...fuzzy? Kind of like TV static. He didn't feel like building anymore after that and had announced that he was going to bed. He probably needed it, anyway.

Walking to his room, he could see Second passed out on the couch. His face was against the arm of the sofa, with the rest of his body sprawled across it, a single arm dangling off the side, barely brushing against the white tiled floor. Green smiled at this. Looks like Second was just as exhausted as he was. Opening the door to his room, Green closed the curtains, tucked himself in, and drifted off to sleep.

---

"The hell..."

A light grey, pointy-eared dog had jumped onto Green's bed, and was now standing directly on top of him.

"Hey, Acorn," Green said, giving him a couple scritches. He panted very excitedly and with a lot more energy than one would expect for any diurnal creature at 1 in the morning.

The dog jumped off the bed, trotted up to the doorway, and stared at Green. "Really, dude?" Green asked. "S'like...the nightmorning. Lemme sleep."

Green began to turn away, but a heartbreaking, high-pitched whine came out from Acorn's mouth.

"...fine. But if Red finds out I'm getting you snacks past your feeding time, we're both dead meat."

Green followed the dog quite slowly, Acorn turning around every so often to make sure Green was still there. To Green's surprise, Acorn walked past the stairs to the kitchen, and up to Second's bedroom door. He sat down and stared up at Green with big, round eyes.

"Dude...Second's so asleep right now. He's probably, like, the asleepest of all of us--"

A sob.

Green turned his head in the door's direction.

He knocked lightly. "Second?"

A gasp, then silence.

"Is everything ok?"

More silence.

"I'm coming in, ok?"

He slowly turned the knob.

"Seco--"

A blanket covered all of Second except his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his irises were glowing green. A box of tissues lay sideways on his bed, tissues spilling out of it as though they were liquid. As soon as the door was opened, Acorn ran up to Second and began licking his cheek.

"H-hey--Acorn--"

Second's speech was cut off when he saw Green standing in front of him. His eyes got even wetter. He covered his face with his blanket and laid down, snuggling a plush cat close to his chest.

"...Second? It's me," Green said. "What's wrong?" he asked, slowly getting closer. As he approached, he could hear...whispering?

"It's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real it's not re--"

"Second?"

A yelp.

"It's me, Gree--"

"Go away!"

...Huh?

"I...I killed you...you're not real."

Oh.

Oh.

"S-Second...I respawned. I'm safe. Everything's gonna be ok."

But alas, Green's words did nothing, as Second's sobs began again.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I wish I didn't kill you. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish you were sti--"

Green smacked him.

Second touched the part that he smacked while staring at him.

"You're...alive."

"Yes, I am. Now can you please explain what happened?"

Second's eyes shifted to the side. Were they slightly less green than before?

"U-um...do you remember today when I...?"

"Yeah."

"That, but...over and over again."

Ah.

That...sounds bad.

Green sat down on the bed next to him. "S'ok," he said, pulling him into a hug. "I know you didn't mean it."

Second returned the hug, almost dragging Green downwards. Green pulled back slightly, his face inches away from Second's. "If anything like this happens again, lemme know, ok? I love you. I don't want you to be sad."

Second flushed, realising how close he was to Green. "U-um...ok."

For the rest of the night, they laid in the same bed, snuggling, but not before two sentences were spoken:

"I love you, Green."

"I love you too."

[monster-energies]

you’ll have me sooner than you know it

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

pairing: severus snape/reader

summary:   you have to survive your day on your own without severus when he is away from hogwarts, but when the day becomes horrible and severus finds you upset over all the minor inconveniences, severus has a way for you to relax is more ways than one.

warnings: this oneshot INCLUDES SMUT ! if you do not feel comfortable reading this oneshot, then do not read it

rating: mature

ʚ♡ɞ please click here if you would like to be apart of my taglist

ʚ♡ɞ taglist: @insomniacaesthetic @eternal-silvertongued-prince @sevsssnape  @mirarenwick @diamondbitch116​ @mamawolfsmith16​ @nickangel13​ @a-queen-and-her-throne​ @deepperplexity​​ @amazingzou​​ @yan-senna​ @yellowbadgermole​​​

word count:   5243

this oneshot can be found on archive of our own

author’s note: the title’s namesake is from the song love will get us by, by the band lisa lisa and cult jam

hello, it is i. back with another oneshot, apologies this is a bit on the shorter side. i had a horrible week last week and wrote bits and pieces of this oneshot on a whim, then last week got even worse and i was like "nope. i have had enough🕺🏼✨." and wrote this fic, then today went well and progressively got worse and im running on cheetos and a can of monster 🤪✌🏼 and will most likely have a coffee as i am currently dwindling into a ball of exhaustion but thats nothing new.

ANYWAYS, thats where the concept of the oneshot comes into place, also as you may have read from the tags THERE IS SMUT !! and i haven't written smut since my greasy emo phase where i wrote fic about real life people *gag* but its not the best since girl- the only kneeling im doing is for severus snape.

reblogs and likes are very much appreciated,, i hope you enjoy this oneshot

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

if there was a day that you couldn’t stand, it was days where severus had to leave upon dumbledore’s request. you hated it when he had to go and so did he. he would spend days away from you and the more beaten and bruised he was every time he had to go, the more your heart shattered.

whenever you were apart from one another, those were the days that would be the most mundane but today he had to go, dumbledore had asked him to go to azkaban to get some vital information from several death eaters. you knew exactly how those days would go and you couldn’t handle it.

you awoke from your slumber to find your bed empty, you hoped that today he would give you breakfast in bed and you’d lay in for another 20 minutes before you both had to get ready for the day ahead. you shifted out of bed and saw your husband putting on his cloak.

“love….you’re up early.” you said.

severus turned to you and saw your morning gaze, approaching you with his hand snaked around your waist.

he sighed, severus hated telling you he had to go on such trips at dumbledore’s request. he simply wanted to stay and teach his classes, watch you in your element and end your day with some good old fashioned cuddles at the bed.

“dumbledore’s asked me to go to azkaban.” he said.

your heart instantly sank, you despited it. tears instantly swelled to your eyes as you quickly laid your head to his chest and let put small cries.

“sev please don’t go.” you sobbed

“darling i know you hate it when i’m not here. but its vital.” severus mumbled.

“but you haven’t even recovered from the last time you went. please just stay here. at hogwarts.” you sniffled.

by instinct your held his hands and squeezed them tighter than usual, as he watched his hands intertwine with yours, he could feel the tight grip you had on his hand.

how he wished that this was a normal day for severus but alas, he had no choice. the burdens of working for dumbledore sometimes got to him, and he wished that he never turned to him for help, but he had no choice.

“i’ll be back and we can do whatever you wish for the night, is that fine with you sweetheart?” he suggested.

you nodded and a tearful smile left your face as he then peppered kisses all over your head.

“there’s my good girl, i had known it will cheer you up.” severus said.

“can i walk with you? before you go?” you asked.

“of course my buttercup.” he replied, which left a giggle from you.

your hand was still linked with your husbands, tighter than ever before her had to apparate to azkaban. he told you stories that he would know that made you laugh and would keep your mind off of him going away all day.

“ do you remember when my class set up a little date for us as a surprise? i will never forget that samantha nevins actually played the violin for us too.” you said, remembering how one of your muggle students had played the violin for you both

“i do remember that sweetheart.” severus said.

“oh oh and do you remember how we played the piano all night long when we stayed at hogwarts for christmas?” you said, that made you laugh slightly. you remember how severus was almost note perfect in one of your little duets together. thank merlin the chambers that you shared with severus was big enough to carry that grand piano.

as you and severus kept walking to the astronomy tower, you rested your head on his upper arm. severus pulled you closer to him, you were quite the endearing lady and he had absolutely no regrets in marrying  you. he could remember every moment he had with you, you both made each other happy and that was what mattered.

once you both arrive at the astronomy tower, you took a moment to admire the view you both had the pleasure of seeing. it was beautiful seeing hogwarts during the day and it was more than ethereal during the night. you and severus could remember how much time you’d spend looking out to the nature before you.

but when the feeling hit you that you would he by yourself for a vast majority of the day, you could feel your heart sinking and the urge to cry was hitting you more than usual. severus could instantly read you, he wished that he didn’t have to do such a thing.

“promise me you’ll be careful sev, please.” you pleaded.

“would you like to make that promise you show me…what was it you called it?” he asked

“the pinky promise.” you replied. severus’ smile turned a little bit wider for a split second as you suggested it.

you both brought your pinky fingers and linked it with one another.

“i promise i will be careful and i’ll be back soon y/n.” he said.

once you both let go, you embraced in his touch as you hugged him and looked up at him with those eyes of yours. he peppered kisses to your forehead and pressed one last kiss to your lips.

“i love you sev, be careful sweetheart.” you said.

“i will y/n, i love you too.” severus replied to you, he pressed one last kiss to your forehead before he instantly apparated.

and in an instant, he was gone.

you sighed shakily before you wiped away your tears and headed to severus’ class. you would have to take over his classes for the time being.

when you arrived at his class, you waved your wand and all the cauldrons landed at the correct table. you placed parchment papers filled with instructions. you then put down the ingredients on the table.

you looked over to the schedule placed by severus desk. your eyes darted over to the friday column and you were in absolute disbelief. did severus have to teach this much? and on a friday as well? dumbledore was overworking your husband to the bone, no wonder he seems to be so exhausted. perhaps you could take it up with him, make his schedule a little more lenient. then again that would be impossible.

you sighed to yourself and looked up to see the first batch of students come in. as the students took their seats, you begun to teach.

you taught many first year hogwarts students before, this should be easy for you.

it was the simple cure for boils potions, that would be easy for you and for them, right?

well… it turned out you forgot about this batch of first years, putting gryffindor and slytherin students together was undoubtedly the biggest mistake to ever exist.

you knew very well of the rivalry between the two houses and it seemed to be that you had to clean up after their mess almost every day, you could remember your first few weeks of teaching at hogwarts, at least 15 minutes of your lesson would go due to the fact that you would have to settle another stupid gryffindor and slytherin dispute.

as you were explaining the effects of the potions to your first years, you could almost freeze up at the words you were saying.

“professor l/n that isn’t the correct term to use, professor snape wouldn’t explain all of potions to us like this. we haven’t even touched our cauldrons yet.” a gryffindor grumbled.

you knew that you wouldn’t be professor snape to them but he was gone and they had to deal with you for the time being. the remark seemed to hit you more than you liked, usually you would be able to hit back at them with a cheeky comment but it seemed like you had nothing to offer to them.

you put down the papers that you were reading the instructions from, you went to the potions cupboard and slammed the door, waving silencing charms.

“oh look what you’ve done now, you hurt her feelings!” you barely heard the commotion of your students yelling over who made you upset but you, but that didn’t seem to matter. you cried to yourself as the arguments that your students had grew louder in your head.

you wiped away your tears and left the potions cupboard, slamming the door and glaring at all of the students. you were not in the mood for any witty remarks from anybody.

when your students had done the potion in silence, the end of the class soon rolled over and they had packed up their things and left.

“professor l/n is being quite sour today.”

“oh you silly gryffindors, maybe something happened to her.”

“i hope she’s okay.”

you overheard your first year students and sighed to yourself. how on earth did professor snape manage to do this job?

you were thankful that you were on a more empty timetable. because this was only the first class, how were you going to deal with every year group he had on a tedious friday?

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

as the day slowly turned,  you didn’t feel like going to get any form  of lunch, you happened to be focused on getting these classes sorted before you could even find the time to relax. you didn’t even  have time to relax considering you found yourself overworked to the bone, perhaps this is what severus must have felt like.

you didn’t bother with having lunch, an appetite was the last thing you needed after this torturous schedule. you missed severus so much, you just wanted severus to be here, to guide through the subtle arts of potions, that was all you could ask for,

you happened to have your last class of the day, minerva seemed to have walked past the potions, only to be surprised that you were in your husband’s place.

“y/n? you look absolutely shattered today.” professor mcgonagall quipped.

“severus is away at azkaban.” you answered.

“i see. please eat something dear, you’ll knock yourself out.” minerva suggested kindly before leaving.

you did not even feel like eating anything, getting through severus’ classes was the only thing that rushed to your mind. at least to the standard that he would like. you really didn’t want to continue with today. this time you had your 7th year advanced potions class. they were somewhat tolerable, however there were some students that you contemplated why on earth they took potions.

“professor l/n, can you come and check my potion, i dont think its working properly.” a student asked. you looked up and saw the bubbling potion.

“oh really whats the-” a sudden explosion had cut your question off.

that was whats the matter.

a few students begun to giggle here and there, but on top of that, your best shirt was filled with purple splatters from the potion.

“10 points from gryffindor, now clean this mess!” you shrieked.

it was enough that severus was not here to put these kids in there place, however they seemed to step all over you. it was not common for that to occur with every teacher that even steps foot at hogwarts, but they don’t even give you the same respect as any other teacher.

as you finally explained the last piece of information for your students, it looked as if they could not care less, whilst you were glad that the day was over and done with, you on the other hand was not so happy.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

it seemed like every mundane thing that never often happened to you, managed to happen to you in one day. you were almost lucky that today was friday and your weekend would be occupied with nothing but you and severus alone.

you had a series of horrible potions classes, your best shirt was ruined by that stupid 7th year student, none of the potions you demonstrated turned out accordingly and on top of that, you spent most of your time crying in the potions cupboard rather than actually teaching potions itself.

you felt your tears slowly spike up with every step you made. you just wanted to crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep. severus would be home soon but you didn’t care in this moment. you wanted nothing more but for today to end.

you slowly closed the door of the chambers you shared and slumped at the desk, looking over at some of the photos on his desk, the ones that made you and severus truly happy.

glaring at those photos was truly the breaking point. your tears flooded as you dropped to the floor and crawled into a small ball.

then the click of a door.

“y/n?” severus called as he found you on the floor. your eyes completely red and tears drooping from your already swollen face.

he instantly pulled you into his embrace and that was the tipping point.

you flooded  out  a pool of tears as you were embraced into severus’ touch. “shhh i’m here, i’m right here sweetheart. im here” he cooed.

your waterfall of emotions slowly dwindled to nothing but a puddle, your eyes redder than before. you looked to him, taking note of his expression.

his brows furrowed as a frown left his face. he despised it when you were upset, it broke his heart.

“would you like to talk about it love?” he asked you.

“everything is bothering me sev…the potions i was supposed to demonstrate didn’t work, i ruined my best shirt. all the students were so mean to me, and i cannot do this sev…why does this happen to me? i…i can’t do this sev…today has been horrible.” you then started to cry again.

“oh y/n, my sweetheart.” severus frowned pulling you into another embrace and letting you cry some more. when the weeping period was done, you looked to him with a sad expression that him beyond upset.

“my dearest…please look at me.” severus cooed softly, you looked to him with tears filled to the brim.

“i’m here now love, and tomorrow will be the weekend. we can spend it however we please.” severus said.

you nodded, you and severus both sat together for a moment, he let you play around with his hands as you fingers stroked the palms of his hand, whilst severus pressed multiple kisses to your temple. you looked to him with a small smile to your face, it wasn’t much but severus knew that it something he loved.

“how about we…unwind? it will be all about you tonight.” he said. he wiped away your tears and you nodded.

“i think i like the sound of that.” you replied instantly.

severus hoisted you into his arms as he peppered kisses all over your cheeks, before he said, “good…then the unwinding shall begin.”

you and severus ever only had sex once, he had the upper hand with having the most experience whilst you did not. now that this would be the second time he wanted everything to be about you. you arrived to the bedroom as he waved his wand, ensuring the contraceptive charms were in place.

“tell me when it gets too much at any point y/n. okay?” he said, you only nodded which brought severus closer to you, kissing one another.

you and severus pressed lustful kisses, his hands all over your waist as his fingers lead him to unbutton your  shirt, only to reveal that you had been wearing the bra he loved the most.

“you chose that, how scandalous of you princess.” severus whispered, as you exchanged one kiss after the other, severus’ hands roved to your skirt as he fiddled with the material.

he removed your skirt as his eyes glistened to every part of your body.

“so wet already princess. only for me i take it.” severus said.

you nodded but that clearly wasn't enough for him, one hand was now at your cheeks instantly moving your face so that your eyes were on him, the other hand at your lower stomach as his fingers slithered around the area.

“yes severus.” you answered at barely a whisper.

“theres my good girl.” severus teased. his whole body now on top of yours, your fingers trailed to his dresscoat, then the shirt, finally the vest. now his upper torso now bare in front of you, his fingers made his way to your clit.

the feeling of his fingers left a soft moan out of you, his fingers moved in slow circles, leaving breathless moans out of you.

“thats it kitten, relax.” severus whispered. lustful moans escaped your lips, and it was music to severus’ ears.

“right there.” you panted.

“do you like that gorgeous?” he asked.

“mhmm.”

that was the wrong answer.

his fingers dug a little deeper, a louder moan crept up to you and you nodded.

“yes sev.” you answered properly.

“good girl, i’m going to go slightly faster, is that okay princess?” he asked.

you nodded as you bit your lip as his fingers made quicker circles, severus wasn’t going to let your day end on a low. he wanted to make you feel better.

your breaths slowly begun to pick up right as the pace of his fingers circling your clit went faster.

“there we go now, just a little more y/n.” severus said, he could feel your clit pulsating through his touch, quicker moans escaped your mouth as you could feel yourself about to cum.

“sev…im going-”

“go on y/n, let go.” he replied back

another moan escaped your bitten lips as you panted slightly, your cum dripping all over his fingers. “you taste so divine, my y/n” he said.

“stop teasing sev.” you uttered.

“oh y/n i’m simply taking you in. you are quite the delicacy.” severus admitted, your hands at the waist of his trousers, unbuckling the belt and the fly of his trousers.

you could feel his cock stiffen at the quick stroke of your fingers. “so desperate for me princess, you really want to get rid of today don’t you love?” he said.

his words instantly made you unable to speak, it was undoubtedly the truth of the matter. you didn’t want to wallow around in your sadness any longer, if severus was there then your day was made better in a heartbeat.

“what about you sev?” you asked.

“its not about me tonight, i want to pleasure you kitten.” he said.

severus wanted to make you feel on top of the world after a bad day, it was what you needed.

“can i keep my bra on?” you plucked up the courage to ask, you thought it would be such a silly question to ask but seeing severus nod made you smile slightly, knowing he would do whatever he could to make you feel comfortable was something you loved about him.

“of course princess.” severus replied back. he soon got out his trousers and boxers, now fully naked for your viewing pleasure.

if he hadn’t met you, severus would never have been able to feel somewhat comfortable in hos own body, he had you to thank for that.

“you’re shivering my sweet. rest assured, that won’t last long. would you like your hair down?” severus offered to you.

you nodded, but it seemed like severus wanted you to speak up, spanking your ass cheek to get a response from you.

“yes sev.” you said quietly. for a moment severus grew worried, was that too much? he didn’t want to make you even more upset than you already were.

but the irrational thoughts he had were instantly put to rest when that smile of yours occurred to your face. it was small but yet it spoke a thousand words.

“i’m going to start now sweetheart. you can tell me to stop at any point.” he reassured.

his cock hardened at the sight of you, almost completely bare. he had you laid down on the bed, your legs wide open before him. as he entered, an involuntary moan escaped your lips, which made you worried but severus was quick to bring his hands into your own.

“you have nothing to be scared of my dear, i told you the very first time. i like to hear you.” he said.

“oh princess, are you crying?” he asked. tears escaped from your eyes, your lips twitched to a frown and severus was quick to go down and kiss you tenderly.

“i want no tears my love, i will make love to you until today doesn’t exist, where its just you and i, and nobody else. tonight is all about you…okay y/n? light of my life?” he said.

“yes please, i would love that.” you mumbled tearfully, his hands caressed roughly at your thighs, his hands gripping at every bit of skin you had to offer him.

“such a good girl. submitting to me like you always have been.” he said.

your cheeks turned red at his words, and severus relished in your flustered self. he saw how you looked at him, how you felt up certain parts of his upper body in such an innocent fashion but yet they screams words that you could not say.

you let out slow moans as severus propelled gently inside of you. “you’re…so beautiful.” he said with every  thrust.

at every thrust, he always looked to you, his eyes wavering over your pleasure.

“so perfect…and wet, only for me.”

“you’re my y/n. my sweet little kitten.”

your moans grew louder as you felt him inside of you and his praise unmatched by the feeling of his cock inside of you.

“oh thats it, good girl.” he praised, as another moan set free from your lips.

his hands all over your thighs as he positioned them just right. with one hand at your thighs, you felt the other hand make your way to your shoulder, from your stomach to your waist, then to your breasts to which was already arousing enough, when the other hand arrived at your shoulder, you should feel severus slowly press down on it with every thrust.

“sev…dont’t stop.” you tried to utter as your moans got louder with every thrust.

severus groaned at every minute there was silence, “oh y/n…you are so perfect.” his tone of voice deepened and his forehead instantly touched yours.

he pressed rough and lustful kisses all over your face, severus’ groans pleasured you in ways that you could not describe.

“you’re doing…an amazing job…my good girl.” he murmured.

“don’t stop…please.” was all you could say before you let out another moan.

“oh y/n, i won’t.”

his hand slowly stroked at your neck, before they landed at your shoulder.

you could feel yourself wanting to let go of everything, you began to moan louder, your trails of breath getting shorter as your lips pressed to his. his hand was making journeys across your body that pleased you profoundly, before settling at your waist.

“sev…i can’t take it, i’m going…” but you were instantly cut off with severus’ voice.

“go on y/n.”

your head instantly went back as your lower half of the body tilted upwards, your screams of pleasure serenaded severus as nothing but cum filled your body, as severus pulled out he instantly lifted your into his arms.

he pressed kisses all over your neck, tears filled your eyes once more, but severus was quick to wipe them away.

“don’t cry my love, you did amazing.” he said as he cupped your cheek and kissed your forehead.

a smile left your face as he the lifted you into his arms and into the bathroom you shared, grabbing his wand, before you could even try to turn the taps on, severus waved his wand and filled the bath with hot water.

“no no no, my love i will make sure you won’t do a single thing tonight.” severus said, you dipped your body into the hot water and then severus joined in right after.

you melted into severus’ touch as well as the hot water that surrounded you both. you were not used to this sore feeling since it made you quite uneasy however severus had been quick to comfort you.

“sev…everything hurts.” you whined.

“its alright my dear, it will go away.” he said pressed a kiss to your head.

you did nothing but rest under the hot water, your breath slowly matching severus’ heartbeat as you closed your eyes.

“y/n? sweetheart, i hate to disturb you but would you like me to clean your body?” he offered to you.

you slowly tilted your head up and you nodded, you sat up as much as you could and handed severus your favourite body wash, one that was made by him much to your surprise. you never thought that he would be such an arts and crafts man, but he surprised you ways that you were more than grateful for.

he put the body wash onto the loafer and scrubbed your body down until the smell of lavenders and fresh parchment was the only thing between the two of you.

“i’m still not convinced that you made that all by yourself.” you mumbled.

“darling you’d be surprised by how many things i can make.” severus admitted.

you were the only person that had ever seen his true crafts, he made you books from scratch and jewellery made from the finest gemstones so that you could have good energy at any given day.

when severus reached to your legs you whimpered slightly, gripping onto severus’ arm for a little bit of support, “does it still hurt my love?” he asked.

you nodded and he kissed your forehead in reassurance, he went a little bit gentler and you allowed yourself to sink into the water in an effort to rinse yourself.

“i suspect the water is warm, come on kitten.” severus said, he got out of the bath tub and dried himself off waving his wand and soon getting himself into a grey, oversized pyjama shirt. you slowly followed after drying yourself off before limping out of the bathroom.

“i’ve put some new clothes for you, i hope you like it.” severus said. you looked over to him who happened to be in the kitchen section of your chambers.

you looked over to the pyjamas that laid before you and you took it with you to the bedroom. getting changed in silk pyjamas, you eventually left the bedroom and severus couldn’t help but approach you with his hands instantly at your waist and a chaste kiss brought you both together.

“you look amazing my love.” he whispered as your foreheads touched and you reached up to him and another kiss was pressed to your lips.

a giggle escaped your lips as you were pulled into a warm embrace by severus. “did you eat y/n?” he asked.

then a frown appeared to your lips, you shook your head as a small sympathetic smiled graced your husband’s face.

“you…you’re not mad?” you asked.

“not in the slightest, you’ve had a rough day i wasn’t surprised you did such a thing.” severus replied.

“sorry for not doing that-”

but before you could apologize any further, you felt yourself in severus’ arms, lifting you and placing you in the bed.

“you have absolutely nothing to apologize for my dear, i’ll get you something to eat.” severus reassured, kissing your temple before going back into the kitchen.

severus was no culinary professional but he knew a few things about cooking, he had his mother to thank for that. he arrived with a plate with your favourite food, you took the plate from him and ate the food in front of you. it wasn’t much to severus but to you, it was more than you could ever ask for.

when you finished severus put the plate aside and had you wrapped in his arms, your arms slithered slowly from his stomach to his waist, shifting slightly closer to him and resting your head on his chest.

“how did i do?” you asked.

“you were amazing y/n. you don’t need to ask, i told you that your pleasure is all i could ever ask for.” severus said, his hands stroking through your now clean hair.

“did you enjoy it?” severus asked. you nodded, perhaps you should have more bad days like this so that severus could treat you like a princess soon after.

“it looked like you did, you seem to enjoy me looking after you…submitting yourself to me, hm? severus said as his fingers softly stroked your waist, an unwavering smirk perked to his face as your cheeks heated up.

you didn’t answer, his words flustering you as your hid your flustered state in his chest, he chuckled deeply as you felt him pull you closer, his hands slowly moving to your thighs as he caressed them in his grasp. his hands always did wonders as you have experienced first hand, you felt his hands stroke at every part of your body, you were quick to attempt to hide your breathless moans but you were quick to let out a small squeak and hide away your face.

“my girl has gotten quite embarrassed hasn’t she?” severus cooed.

you pouted and prodded at his cheeks for payback. “i knew you would be.” severus smirked and pulled you into a quick kiss.

“all of you is quite endearing my buttercup, you are amazing. my little bunny.” he praised.

“hey that’s a new nickname.” you giggled.

“hmm, i suppose i have been getting quite creative.” he admitted.

you both laid in silence, with the company of one another, his hands all over your body as you looked up to severus in adoration.

“do you feel better y/n?” severus couldn’t help to ask you such a question. seeing you nod was something that made him feel relieved, he couldn’t imagine you not enjoying such an experience.

“you always make me better sev, on a good day or a bad day.” you said as you sat up and sat on his lap and peppered kisses all over his face. quick kisses were pressed at severus’ nose, to which severus had no shame in hiding his smile.

you always brought a smile to his face, you were so endearing to him and he got very lucky meeting you since you joined hogwarts.

“hey…hey sev, sevvy. sev, guess what? guess what sevvy?” you perked up, he raised a brow and gave a quick nod to encourage you to continue what you were going to say.

“i love you…i  don’t think i said that today…but i love you so much.” you said.

a warm smile formed as you shuffled so now you were laying on top of him, playing around with his hair.

“i love you , my y/n.” severus replied, his hand cupping your cheek as you melted into his touch as that adorable smile on your face remained.

he was always there to make you better, whatever the weather and you had nothing but appreciation for your husband.

your life was in both of your grasp.

and all you could hope was a lifetime.

whether you had a bad day or good day, your lifetime was with him.

[jordanstrophe]

War of Royalty

Yay! It's done!

CW: Slavery, medieval whump, whipping and branding referenced, noncon stripping (again, nonsexual)  taken in by royalty, whumpee thinking fluff is punishment, intimate caretaker, forcefully carried, begging 

Masterlist

The king held a golden goblet in the palm of his hand, occasionally glancing from the ambassador to the boy at his right hand. He was visibly trembling as all eyes at the banquet were glued on him, tracing his scars, staring at the healing whip marks curling over his shoulders. The king however, just kept looking longingly into his face. 

“Are you not hungry, Eden?” He asked, nodding towards his overfilled untouched plate. “No! It’s n-not that, your majesty, It’s just... sh-should I not be serving you? I should be refilling your wine, or washing plates.” Eden tucked his head waiting for the hand to dig in his hair or a strike to the back of the head... But alas, he just laughed.

“Nonsense! I want you here.” He raised his goblet before bringing it to his lips. Eden hoped his red cheeks weren’t as visible as they felt. “Then tell me, what's something about you? What hobbies have you dabbled in?” He asked. “I... used to set up picnics in the field for my master when he was tired.” Eden let a smile creep across his face at the once happy memory. 

“A picnic mm? That sounds delightful.” He painted a grin on his face before waving the guard over. “What on earth is a picnic?” He whispered. “Ahh, it’s like a feast.. but outside and on the ground, my lord. It’s quite dreadful.” The guard whispered back. “A feast... In the ground, eh?...” The king muttered to himself, stroking a hand through his beard. 

He then noticed half the table was more indulged in the boy than their own plate as Eden had sunk further into his seat. The king took a breath, before leaning towards the guard. “Then set up this picnic for the boy and I.” He spoked. “Wh-what? My lord, that’s far too dangerous! We would have to set up a wall of guards protecting you!” He protested. The king slowly cranked his head till they made eye contact. 

“Then do it.” He hissed. 

-

Eden’s legs trembled as he was walked down the corridor on the king's arm. “Your majesty, why are we leaving early?” Eden asked. "That’s a surprise.” He smiled, unaware that his words only pierced more fear into the boy's heart. 

The gates leading the courtyard swung open, revealing a sea of guards fully armored in a perfect circle around the hill. Their backs were to the center as they faced outwards, their swords centered with their body at their feet. Eden instantly tensed in horror, knowing this process all too well; the stake in the ground, the crowd gathering to watch the whipping, the cheering and laughter at his every cry.  

“Y-your majesty wait!" Eden begged, crumbling to his knees while pressing his forehead to his feet, mumbling pleas and apologies. “Calm yourself, boy. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He soothed, but it was like his lips were running without him. “Eden! Look at me.” The king finally commanded, his voice raising to a level he had never heard before. He then snapped his fingers as two guards stepped aside, revealing an embroidered blanket with full plates in the center.

“wha-?” Eden shyly looked up at the king. “You’re not taking me to get whipped?” He blinked. “Ah-of course not! Why would you think that?” The king couldn’t hold back a laugh as he grabbed Eden’s elbow. “I thought you might like some privacy. I could use some as well after all these war meetings over sea. I just got home! I want to relax for a night.” His arm tightly wound around the boy's arms, practically pinning them to his sides.

He plopped him down on the blanket across from him, struggling to get comfortable, although it wasn't half as miserable as the king was expecting.  Eden's eyes kept nervously glancing at the wall of guards, but his chin was tilted back. "Don't look at them, look at me." The king smiled, handing him sliced fruit from the plate. Eden accepted it as he huffed a sweet, real smile.

-

“My lord, did you enjoy the banquet?” Madeline asked, bowing before refilling his glass once more. “A bouquet is business for a king my dear, but the picnic with the boy was quite nice. I just wish he wasn’t so frightened, he expects a slap across the face every time I look at him.” He puzzled. 

“He’s quite well behaved, is he not? I think we were all expecting a handful with all those scars, especially that burn on his chest.” She said as she fixed the last winkle on his bed. 

“... What burn on his chest?”

There was deafening silence in the room as the servant's face drained from all color. 

-

The gates slammed open as two guards held each of the boy's arms, dragging him into the throne room. “Please wait! What's going on?!” Eden cried, his feet could hardly touch the ground as his toes grazed the carpet. His tearful eyes found the king sitting on his throne, his face painted with dread as he rested his chin on his hand. He didn’t look up when the guards held the slave before him. 

“Wh-what’s happening?” Eden panicked, seeing the woman from earlier, her face staring at the floor red with guilt. 

“Strip him.” The king muttered, his eyes averting Eden's horrified gaze. 

“-what?” He gasped, his pupils dilated before two hands ripped the clothes off his back, it’s tattered white pieces falling around his feet. He let out a choking cry, turning his head from the countless eyes that widened. The room instantly erupted with anger when the brand became visible; the brand of an illegal trade set up by his previous master. 

“This is treason!”

“An insult to our kingdom!”

“Who did this to the boy? I’ll have their head!”

“SILENCE!” The king ordered. The room fell silent aside from Eden’s crying. 

He rose from his throne, approaching until his hand reached the boy's cheek. “Look at me.” He spoke, feeling him tremble in the palm of his hand. 

“I can’t.” Eden rasped, hiding his face within the king's hand. He choked on a sob when he was suddenly pulled into the king's chest, the guard's grasp disappearing as he was held by nothing but the king's gentle embrace.

“Who did this to you?” He gently whispered in his ear, curling a hand in Eden’s hair. 

“I-... I can’t!” He sobbed, burying his face into the fur of the king’s robes. He felt him sigh a long, disappointed sigh. Then, the comfort was taken away, falling back into the harsh grasp of the guard's cold metal hands. 

“Return Eden to his chambers, let him rest for the night.” His hand lingered on his cheek for a moment as he blindly leaned into it, before it slipped away. "Send the four horsemen! I want whoever owned this slave to be found immediately! Turn every stone on its back! Tear the city apart if you have to!” He hissed, swinging his cloak around before collapsing back in his throne. 

“I want their head for what they've done to this boy...” 

ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ Thank you for reading!~ @tears-and-lilies  @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @starnight-whump  @bumpthumpwhump @whumpcreations @myst-in-the-mirror @heathenville (ahhh, If I forgot a tag, I am so very sorry, give me a poke and I’ll fix it right away)

[koukouture]

A construct’s finale

When your beloved construct gets corrupted by the punishing virus, you aren’t quite sure who’s supposed to make it out alive

Note: God has allowed me to exist for another day and I am going to make it everyone's problem. Also I did one of these for Chrome here 

Characters: Kamui, Lee, and Watanabe (will do more eventually when I actually have ideas for them lol) 

Warnings: Gore, death, angst, have fun lmao

Tagging: @husbando-collector-sanctuary because I said I’d do this. Watch your babies suffer

Kamui

You should have known something was wrong when Kamui was too quiet while you two were scouting an empty building. He didn’t chat with you like he usually did, he only held your hand and looked around. 

It shouldn’t have taken this long for you to realize that Kamui has been corrupted. Because now he has you in a choke hold while tears stream down his face and his eyes flicker between red and his usual purple. 

“K-kamui” you choke, reaching for him. 

Your hand comes in contact with his cheek and he suddenly drops you. He stumbles back, screaming in pain, no doubt from the Punishing virus. 

“Don’t come any closer” he commands, moving further away from you. You don’t care or you tuned him out because you step closer. “I said don’t!” he yells before coughing. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask, inching closer. 

“I wanted to be with you, commandant. B-but I hurt you. I’m supposed to protect you but I-” 

“Hey, hey. It’ll be ok. I’m fine” you reach for him again, but he flinches and backs away. 

“Commandant, don’t- please don’t” he says quietly. 

You stop, clenching your fists while the blonde cries and fishes a small knife from inside his jacket. You don’t have time to react before he plunges is into his chest. 

“Kamui!” you shout, running towards him, he doesn’t back away this time as you try to stop him. He only takes a deep breath and jams it into his chest, screaming as he pries the metal open. 

“C-commandant, remember when on my birthday you said you’d grant me a wish, but I never ended up asking you for anything?” 

He coughed again before looking into your eyes “I want to ask you for one last thing, commandant” 

Kamui holds you hand, it would have been sweet but he gently puts the knife in your hand, closing your fist around it. His vitals fluids coat your hands, but you can’t bring yourself to do anything about it as you shake uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry. But I’m not strong enough to do it by myself” 

“No!” you shout “I’m not doing this, Kamui. Please I’ll let you go, I won’t say anything about it, just don’t do this” 

He gives you a warm smile before he reaches up and strokes your face “It’s gonna be ok, commandant. You have Lee and the others, you won’t be alone” 

“There has to be another way” 

The construct levels your shaky hands with his core smiling at you “I don’t want to hurt anyone else, so please do this for me, commandant” 

“You won’t. I know you won’t Kamui” you sob “Please Kamui, I love you” 

Kamui seems shocked for a moment before smiling “I love you too, commandant” 

You’re shaking hard as he guides you hand closer to his pulsing core. 

“It’ll be ok” 

You close your eyes and take a shaky breath, and when you open them his core is dim. His eyes are closed and a smile rests on his lips. 

The knife clatters to the floor as you hold your face in your hands, crying your heart out until the rest of Gray Raven finds you... and Kamui’s lifeless frame. 

Watanabe

This was inevitable, the old construct thinks. He removed his inver device and left with only a weak filter on his frame. Watanabe should have known that sooner or later he would get corrupted. He would have accepted it if it were to come for that, he would have accepted it a year ago. But now you’re here, and now you’re watching him loose himself. 

“Stand back, commandant” he growls, clutching his chest. He doesn’t have a heart, he is no human, but he can feel the Punishing virus spread through his systems, racing to his core. It hurts, it feels like having lava replace his vital fluids. But he can’t give into it. Not when you’re here. 

You don’t listen. You never listen to him. Sometimes he finds it funny and even cute, most times it irritates him. This time, you’re putting your life in danger, so he can say he’s fairly pissed. 

You’re both standing in some old ruins, Watanabe’s already cleared it of corrupted and figured that maybe since you two were alone he’d tell you how he’s been feeling lately. Why he’s been avoided you for a while now. But alas, it turns out he’s been corrupted. 

“I said to stay back! Listen to me for once in your damn life” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, soldier” you say sharply, but he can hear your voice tremble ever so slightly as you step closer until you’re close enough for him to kill. 

Wait, kill?

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he can feel himself pull out his blades out one moment, and the next when he snaps out of his trance, he sees that you’ve collapsed. 

“No, no, no, no, no” he mutters, kneeling down “I told you, I fucking told you to stay away. Why can’t you listen?”

“Asshole” you choke “Because I fucking love you that’s why. I know why you’ve been avoiding me and I get it but, that was kind of a dick move” 

“Shut up” he says, wiping tears from his eyes as he tears up his coat and wraps it around your gut, cringing when he sees how much blood you’ve already lost. He puts the remains on your shoulders before standing up. 

“Watanabe?” 

“Watanabe to Forsaken, the commandant is injured, they’re in the ruins south of the base. Don’t bother looking for me, I won’t be there. That’s an order” he says into his comm piece before taking it out and crushing it. 

“No, you’re not leaving me” you yell “Watanabe you fucking ass, we can find a way, we-” 

He kneels down and captures your lips in his. It’s a custom the humans of the Forsaken told him about, kissing, a romantic gesture among humans. 

“I’m sorry, commandant. But there’s no room for us right now, not ever actually” 

You yell at him to come back, but he’s already gone. He takes one last look at the ruins and feels the buzzing on his lips before running further and further away. Never to return and never to know if you were safe.

Lee

How did it come to this? He was so careful, he made so many promises, he trained so hard. But here he was, mangled and missing his arm with the punishing virus slowly clouding his mind. While you leaned against the wall on the other side of the ruins full of dead corrupted. 

He winced when he felt the virus progress further in his system. Fuck, he’d have to do something about that. But first...

“Commandant, are you alright?” he asked, breathing heavily. 

You didn’t say anything but you seemed alright. A minor scratch on you cheek, but you’re fine. Not in any sort of danger. Perhaps you weren’t very mentally sound though, you had just witnessed Lee get his arms torn off and watched him destroy twenty or so corrupted. You were bound to be a bit shaken, but you’d be alright. 

“Lee...” 

“I have some bad news, commandant” he said slowly “I’ve been corrupted. And I fear I don’t have much time left” 

Oh what he would give to relive yesterday again. When he accidentally spilled his guts to you after you got hurt during a retrieval mission. You had only laughed and told him to take you to dinner if he were to say that to you. 

“We’ll fix it. We always do” you say, carefully making your way through the ruins and frames of dead corrupted. 

He doubles over when he feels compelled to take out his guns. When he feels like he wants to hurt you. He’d never hurt you. He couldn’t hurt commandant. Ever. 

“N-not this time” he says shakily. It’s progressing fast, he didn’t have a filter or any defences to protect against it. 

You’re just a few feet away, and he suddenly pulls his gun out. He wants to cry when he sees you freeze up with the most terrified expression on your face. And he does, small steady streams of tears make their way down his face as the gun shakes in his hand. He has to stop himself. He has to stop before he hurts you. 

Lee brings the gun to his head, his breaths laboured as he fights the punishing virus’ influence. 

“Lee, what are you doing?” 

He cracks a rare smile at you, well, one of the few smiles you actually catch. He’s fairly sure you didn’t notice all of the times he’s smiled around you. 

“I like you a lot commandant. Take that as you will” he says, before he hears the gun go off. Next thing he knows there’s nothing but ringing. He doesn’t get to see you scream and cry over his frame, your tears mixing with the blue vital fluid that flows out of his head. 

“I’d never leave you commandant. I promise” 

That’s the first and last promise he will ever break. 

[reannotfound]

ANGST WOOOO

cw: mentions of abuse, insane themes, panic attack

“C’mon, Ghostbur.” Tommy chuckled lightly. It was his, what, 16th day in Logsted? It was hard to tell the days when you were so alone. All he had to console him was Ghostbur and the Prime Log. The campsite had been coming along fine, and he had even started a farm. Not for long though, he was still going back. Though he would never admit it, he was forever thankful that Ghostbur had decided to tag along. He was almost 100% sure he would have gone crazy if it were just him on the island. 

“I’m coming, Tommy!” He heard Ghostbur reply. They were almost finished building the campsite. Tommy didn’t want to brag, but for a temporary “vacation home” -as Ghostbur liked to call it- it was pretty nice. Pretty poggers, if you will. He had built up quite a bit of muscle chopping down trees every day, and he couldn’t wait to show everyone when he went back. If he went back. It was hard work, but it was worth it. Plus, it gave him something other to do than just sitting and talking to Ghostbur.

It had started off as a normal day when it had happened. Tommy was just idly going through his farm while Ghostbur was out picking flowers when he heard the ever-familiar monotone voice call out to him. “So,” Technoblade said to him, “This is where government has gotten you.”

“Fuck off, Technoblade,” Tommy muttered tiredly. He knew he should be more “enthusiastic”, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Techno would come taunt him then leave, and he and Ghostbur would just continue on.

“What, no clever quip? I thought you would be more starved for human interaction, considering where you are.” Techno smirked. Tommy bristled a bit at that. Human interaction? Did no one tell Techno that Ghostbur had followed him? Tommy decided that Techno was probably just referring to how Ghostbur was, well, a ghost. He didn’t need “human” interaction, though. He would get enough of it if when he went back.

“I’m perfectly fine on company, thanks,” Tommy replied dryly. He really wished Techno would go away already. He hadn’t even looked up from his farm yet, hoping that if he ignored the Pig, he would just get the memo and leave Tommy alone. Alas, Techno wasn’t known for his knowledge of social cues.

“Has someone already come and visited you?” Techno asked, his voice casual. Too causally Tommy’s brain supplied, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just wanted to be alone, with Ghostbur of course.

“No, but Ghostbur’s still here,” Tommy said, a bit irritated, as he gestured to where Ghostbur was, picking flowers. There was a slight pause, and a small part of Tommy hoped that Techno had taken the time to leave. 

“Who’s Ghostbur?” no such luck then. Tommy finally looked up a Techno, raising an eyebrow at him. He gestured again to Ghostbur, who waved back to him. Techno’s face had gone the slightest bit paler, but it was hard to tell.

“Ghostbur. Y’know, Wilbur’s ghost. After Wilbur died, he came back as a ghost. Hence, Ghostbur.” Tommy explained slowly as if talking to a child. Maybe Techno just hadn’t met Ghostbur yet? He had left before Ghostbur had shown up after all. It didn’t make sense though. Techno was their brother. Ghostbur would’ve gone to see him.

“Tommy,” Techno started, but his voice sounded a tiny bit strained. “Wilbur never came back as a ghost.” Tommy just stared at him incredulously. That solved it then. Techno just never met Ghostbur. 

“Can you come here Ghostbur?” Tommy yelled out to him, ignoring the look that Techno gave him. He saw Ghostbur nod, and gently glide over to them. “Ghostbur, this is Techno. He used to be our brother.” Tommy introduced him, speaking directly at Ghostbur.

“Hi Techno, I’m Ghostbur!” he heard Ghostbur say, but Techno was still just staring at him, a sad look in his eyes. Tommy grew a bit irritated, seeing how Techno wasn’t even responding to Ghostbur.

“Hello?” he called angrily. “Don’t you have enough decency to respond to him??” Techno just looked at him, eyes seemingly searching for something. 

“Tommy, there’s no one there,” Techno said slowly, his voice the slightest bit sad. Tommy turned to look him, eyes wide and confused. Maybe Techno just couldn’t see ghosts? That wouldn’t make sense though, everyone else on the SMP could see Ghostbur unless they were lying to him. 

“Um, yeah? He’s right there, you idiot.” Tommy replied steadily, but his voice was tinged with desperation. Of course, Ghostbur was real. He...Wilbur had come back to make amends with Tommy.  Ghostbur was always there for him, talking with him before the exile and sticking with him afterward. He never hit him like Wilbur did. Ghostbur was like Wilbur, but before all the L’manberg shit had gone down. Ghostbur was real. Tommy needed him to be.

Techno took a small step forward. Tommy leaned back. They stared at each other for a bit, almost daring the other one to make a move. Tommy could see Ghostbur in the corner of his eye, but for some reason, he had been flickering, almost like a candle. Tommy’s eyes widened, and he turned to look at Ghostbur fully. This was not happening. 

“Ghostbur,” Tommy whispered, almost too scared of the words coming out of his mouth. “Are you….are you real?” Ghostbur just looked at him, a small, sad smile on his face. No. No. No no no no no no no. this can’t be real. Ghostbur was there right in front of him! He was the only thing keeping Tommy from- oh. Keeping Tommy from going insane. But if that meant that Ghostbur wasn’t real, was Tommy...was Tommy actually crazy? Tears began to blur Tommy’s vision, his chest rising and falling more heavily as he struggled to get a breath in. Tommy couldn’t be crazy! He wasn’t insane! He thought back to all the times he had mentioned Ghostbur, and the other SMP members had just nodded along. Were they all just playing along with him? 

He clutched Wilbur’s old coat closer to himself. He remembered Ghostbur showing him where the coat was, telling him how Wilbur had left it for Tommy as a final goodbye. Was it just his consciousness showing him where it was? His fingers scratched against the old L’Manberg flag patch that Niki had sown onto the jacket for Wilbur. Had she known that Ghostbur wasn’t real? Every time he would go over to the bakery, grabbing an extra pastry for Ghostbur as Niki stared along with sad eyes, had she known? And Tubbo. Oh my god, Tubbo. Had he known? How would he have felt, having to watch Tommy deteriorate like this.

He suddenly felt warm arms wrap around him. Oh right, Techno was there. He knew he shouldn’t be taking comfort in someone who had betrayed him, but he honestly did not care right now. Techno was still his brother, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, and he really just needed some brotherly love. After all, he had just found out that his other brother wasn’t here. 

He sobbed into Techno’s shirt, not caring about all the tears he was rubbing onto his cape.

“It’s okay Tommy. You’re okay. You’re not insane.” Techno whispered to him, rubbing comforting circles on his back. Tommy’s sobs had turned into sniffles, and eventually, he fell into the sweet embrace of sleep.

[6sakusa]

‘next time’ kozume kenma.

a/n : so this is actually based off my past relationship & i kinda wanted to make the reader the villain for once so enjoy <3

wc: 1.8k

warnings : implications of toxic relationship, angst, me not proof reading.

you stared down at your feet, eyes pooling with tears and heart racing as your now ex-boyfriend approached you. the two of you were obviously still madly in love with each other, anyone could tell that part. but what you hadn’t expected was an ocean to separate the two of you soon enough, instead of your own stubbornness.

—

“i don’t love you anymore.” that was a lie, a lie that kenma wasn’t quite sure why he told you. maybe it was because he pretty much loathed you right now, but then again, there was such a fine line between love and hate and he barely knew himself where he stood on the spectrum. all he was aware of was that he was being fuelled by an ugly emotion, jealousy? no it couldn’t be, but then how come he despised the way you would smile at lev? the way you would brush his shoulder when you laughed? the way you offered up your food to him when he said he was hungry? even though the two of you were both inexperienced in your first serious relationship he still expected you to understand that you were his, and he couldn’t stand another moment with you contemplating whether you really belonged to him or not.

“where is this coming from?” you were practically frozen in place, unaware if you had registered his words properly as you could hear your heart leaping out of your chest. you bit down on your lip hoping that this was some kind of sick joke that kuroo had put him up to, you would make sure to get the bastard back later, he would definitely pay, how could he do something so cruel-

“i’ve realised that i barely know you.” you forced yourself to look up at him at his words, clenching your fists to the point where your nails were digging into your own skin at a poor attempt to deflect emotional pain with physical pain. so this wasn’t a joke? you scoffed at the realisation, but despite your cool and put together demeanour you felt cold. this heartbreak was slow, it was unexpected and refused to register itself the way it should. perhaps it was because deep down you knew that his words weren’t true, of course he loved you, he always had. so why were you acting like this? it seemed spite was deeply embedded where there was once love and you certainly wouldn’t provide him with a response that would satisfy him.

he wanted you to beg and you knew it, the reason you knew it is because you had made him do it over and over again. at times your relationship felt like a game of cat and mouse as you would always scurry out of kenma’s grasp the second your relationship was heading in the right direction, and it was all because you liked it when he would trail after you, when he’d apologise even though it made him nervous, when he whispered sweet nothings in your ear just to get you to forgive him even though it made his anxiety peak and his cheeks flaunt a dusty pink colour.

but you weren’t like him, no, and you weren’t gonna concede the same way he had done countless times. because you saw this for what it truly was, a game of tag and kenma had decided to make you it. but you would change that soon enough, even if you had to break your own heart to do it.

pride was a sin, not any sin but one of the seven deadly sins and there was no surprise that the deadliest one of them all was your speciality because you would die to persevere your pride if you had to.

“so these months we spent together.. if you didn’t love me then why did you waste time?” it was a mystery to kenma how you were so well put together right now, wasn’t this the moment where you’d start crying? weren’t you supposed to be reminiscing now? this as your cue to say that you could be better, that you’d do better, that you’d do anything. but no, you did none of that, why did you do none of that? do you not care? did you even love him? he was baffled how you were the one asking the questions right now even though there were a million going through his mind.

“i really liked you at first, i thought we could make this work but, w-we’re too different, we barely know anything about each other, what’s the point being together?” he stumbled on his words and you knew you were in the lead. you definitely had the upper hand here because even though kenma was one of the most relaxed people you’d meet in public, behind doors when it came to you he was an emotional wreck, and right now he was playing right into your hands.

“what don’t we know about each other?” you asked, biting back a smirk, you were almost amused in anticipation of his response. it wasn’t that you didn’t love kenma because you did, but something about inexperienced love lead to this, and if this was the end it’s only fit to make it an entertaining one right? because when you went home you knew that you would be biting back your sobs but for now- while it lasts, you had to win this at any costs.

“look, i can't name specific things but you know what i mean, i know that you understand what i’m saying.” he hated this, he hated standing here trying to pick apart what was wrong between the two of you, but ultimately he was correct, there was a void when it came to you two knowing each other well enough, it wasn’t something that could be voiced but instead felt. when had the two of you spent quality time outside of school? or even gone on dates? had you ever even facetimed each other? he couldn’t recall. but despite all this he loved you with a depth he wasn’t sure you’d ever understand and for the longest time he was willing to wait for you to be comfortable and open up. but instead here he was, throwing the same things back in your face that he claimed to be okay with when you had first voiced your concerns on why you didn’t think the two of you would be compatible.

“y/n i’m sorry but-“ “no, don’t pull that bullshit on me you’re not sorry, don’t even bother ever trying to speak to me again.” you interrupted, of course you had to be the one to say it, there it was again your selfish pride. it was sad- no, tragic how much you based your self-worth around it and even though that worth was crippling away you wouldn’t let it go yet, no, not until you were done here. “don’t be childish about this, come on.”

“did you not hear me before? don’t speak to me ever again.” you scoffed wanting to reinforce the last blow as hard as humanly possible. but even though on the outside you were quite the bitch, no one could ever understand the hurricane of emotional turmoil that was sweeping itself through you right now, because it took everything not to cry right there, not to beg him to stay, not to make empty promises about how you’d do better. what you wish you’d known is that he was going through the exact same thing, because the two of you were too stubborn for your own good.

“fine.” he clenched his jaw but his voice was below a whisper, it wasn’t supposed to go like this, it was never supposed to go like this. the two of you walked away from each other and the further away you got the more it started to hurt as the two of you realised how hopelessly in love you were with one another. it was a slow heartbreak indeed.

—

and that was what had taken you to this point, only a month later finding out that you would be travelling overseas to live with your cousins. that’s when it hit you that the two of you truly wouldn’t get back together despite the constant pining on both ends even after you had told him not to speak to you.

“i hate you.” you muttered through your sobs not even being able to bring yourself to look him in the eye. you cursed yourself for being so stubborn, maybe the two of you would’ve had one more month together, now all you wanted was to go back in time, to be with kenma again battling for his attention against the switch. you smiled sadly at the thought as he stood before you after receiving the news that you’d be leaving soon from none other than lev, it’s a pain how things had turned out.

“why?” he asked, not as emotional as you but god he wanted to be, but he had to be strong right? for you..? he’ll be damned if he lets your last memory with him be tear stained and heartbreak.

“you said you didn’t love me anymore, remember?” you chuckled bitterly thinking back on it, in the moment you wondered why you were so hellbent on turning the whole thing into a game, you hated yourself more than anything right now, even more than you claimed to hate kenma.

“i was lying.” he brought his finger to your tears, wiping your liquid heartbreak before bringing you into his embrace and you swore you could see fireworks. it was almost a movie like moment, you wish you could freeze time and stay like this forever but alas this was your punishment for your pride, for your sins.

“i don’t wanna leave.” you sobbed into his shoulder finally letting the dam break, it was true, you wanted nothing more than to stay here, where he was. maybe it was the way that he stroked your hair while you cried or the way you inhaled his scent but you knew this was home.

“i’m sorry.” you looked up at him at his words, if anything you should be the one apologising, there were so many things you wished you had done differently and so many moments you wanted to share in the future but you knew your time together was coming to an end. “i’m sorry too.” you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady as you clinged onto his hoodie.

“you know we’ll see eachother again one day.” he mumbled into your hair and you could’ve just melted right then and there.

with shaky hands and an overbearing sense of love you pulled away with a sad smile that he returned. “i’ll see you next time.”