#i wish i had known how bad the situation was but family was keeping it private which i completely understand

[imagineagreatadventure]

tbh still feeling rough as hell mourning my friend but i am really trying to handle it as best as i can

[bigskydreaming]

Y’know, I’ve posted before about how important it can be to survivors to be in charge of determining when they disclose what happened to them and to whom in what ways…..and thus how the trend of Dick’s ‘secret’ (what happened with Tarantula or Mirage or both) being found out by his family or friends despite his wishes or even his active efforts to keep it secret, and he’s forced to confront it and deal with all of them knowing before he’s ready and made any kind of peace with it himself, and this is often framed as being what’s best for him and its better now that everything’s out in the open and its like….no, that’s not how it works, you can’t FORCE people to recover on YOUR time table, and it happening in a way that gives them no agency or control over it is often a SETBACK instead of like….to their benefit, because while at its heart, disclosure is a relatively simple action, it can be hugely empowering to survivors because its the first time they’re able to definitively take what happened to them and DECIDE what happens next, to take back some of the CONTROL that was ripped away from them by the event and sent their life into a tailspin ever since…..

Ahem. Anyway. Like I said, y’know how I’ve posted before about….all of…well, that?

LOL.

Yeah, so anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about an ideal ‘counter-trend’ that I think could add so much to the view of these parts of Dick’s narrative and character and to discussions about them….and it also IMO is one of the most likely and in character ways that Dick WOULD be likely to disclose what happened to him and make it known to family or friends…..WHILE letting him retain full personal agency over making that choice HIMSELF, for his OWN reasons….

And that’s like…..letting them all find out because Dick makes the personal decision to open up about that to a survivor or recent victim he sees struggling in the aftermath of their own assault. 

Exposing his own vulnerabiltiies and hurt in order to HELP someone, to make something from his own pain, which is one of the key ways IMO that Dick tends to his own trauma and recovery…..using what happened to him as an opportunity to better help others, be there for them, connect with them and give them an easier time of it or more tools to help in their own recovery than he’d had himself. When he’s able to say and do the things a victim really needs to hear right then and there, because he’s been there himself and he’s just saying or doing what he wishes someone had said or done for him but hadn’t known at the time he needed or wanted or even had someone available to ask even if he were able to.

I’d love to read about a Dick Grayson who finds the strength and will to open up about his own secrets and traumas even if it means people close to him finding out and maybe pitying him (which he hates and I think is one of the primary reasons he doesn’t tell people when something bad happens to him oif he can help it) - specifically because its the strength someone needs from him in that moment, and Dick’s personal call to heroism is the need, the drive, to be what someone needs in order to save them if its at all within his capabilities. That’s why he’s a hero IMO: he doesn’t know how to NOT intervene in a situation where he knows his unique talents and skills could help protect or defend someone, save them from pain or loss or dying. He doesn’t WANT to know how.

Gimme a Dick Grayson who swallows down his fears, straightens his shoulders and defiantly tells his primal reptile brain “Fuck his secrets” - he couldn’t save this person from having this thing happen to them, but he can still be a kind of hero to them, for them, by CONNECTING with them, revealing that even he, a bonafide SUPERHERO, can and has been hurt that way, and it sucks and its painful and it wakes him up sometimes in the middle of the night, but he’s still here, he’s still the person HE chooses to be, someone who still laughs and cries and has friends and goals and dreams and bad days but good days as well….show me him being their own personal superhero by cutting straight through the shit their own demons try to convince them of - that this is their fault or they deserved this or it wouldn’t have happened if they were stronger, smarter, BETTER - because when freaking Nightwing, son of the Batman and leader of the Titans and someone superheroes the world over speak of in glowing terms….

When THAT guy looks you straight in the eye and tells you none of that is true, that he knows this because it happened to him too, and it had nothing to do with strength or weakness or deserving it or wanting it……its a HELL of a lot easier to believe coming from him. To internalize. To take in and make a mantra in your head that you can summon forth to remind yourself of whenever doubts start to sneak up on you again.

Sorry not sorry, no disrespect to any specific singular fic out there - I've LITERALLY written one myself (even if a big part of why Born Under A Bad Sign has languished so long is because I realized it wasn't really what I was looking for/to explore for a lot of these very reasons, and in hindsight I felt like I had just gotten caught up in the usual trends of fics about this topic instead of writing from a start point of exploring what I most wanted to see or read about as a survivor) so please don't take this as a slight to anyone who's written something like this. I'd be insulting myself too if that were the case.

But as a TREND, I've really grown to dislike that there's no shortage of stories where Dick's most vulnerable moments and secrets are dragged out of him DESPITE being the last thing he wants at that time, when there's a dearth of fics used to explore...when and how might Dick go about sharing these secrets or opening up about these moments because he WANTS to, because HE feels ready to. Or even exploring what happens or what he goes through if he opens up or shares about these things BEFORE he's actually ready to, because in an attempt to repurpose his trauma into something he feels can help another survivor, he ignored what he was actually feeling about whether he was ready or not to be open about this and have it known by more people.

Just....any and all angles where HE makes the choice, and not just because he HAS to, and even if he later regrets it or it brings up stuff he wasn't as prepared to deal with as he'd convinced himself he was in the moment....there's so many more avenues to be explored here, and I feel like without even thinking about it too much, most of these avenues get shut off as possibilities or turned away from because the sheer volume of fics where other people find out about these moments without Dick's direct disclosure or when he doesn't want them to or isn't ready for them to know, like....this particular direction is so everpresent it narrows focus and creates the kind of tunnel-vision effect we're all familiar with when it comes to all sorts of fandom trends, until it subconsciously feels like its THE only direction to take with all this.

Anyway. Just wanted to raise that discussion point and if anyone knows of any fics that ARE out there like this, feel free to send them my way.

[faeriekit]

I've been thinking about Bad Parents Jack and Maddie, and how they aren't great even in canon. So like, Vlad actually interacting with them more, as his obsession switches Danny, and just...eyes opening nd falling out of love with Maddie. So he realizes he needs therapy, but as he is what he is and what he has done, well, that makes things difficult. So, Harley Quinn?

I basically almost answered this with a mini rehash of "the Fenton family safety situation is often misrepresented by newer fans who haven't seen a lot of the show" but I mostly realized that wasn't the point, so let me get my act together.

You have activated my trap card, which is "I used to do psych stuff as my main field before I did library stuff", and I can't believe that Harleen Quinzel, known criminal and incredibly visible villain, would still have her license. Like. Even excepting the crime stuff, having her license revoked due to breaking the Hippocratic oath, or straight up having an ethics board boot her personally, I don't think Harley Quinn would have prioritized the NJ medical license renewal. That has to be attended to once every two years. Failure to keep up to date means no practicing in the state of NJ, baby.

If this is happening, Harley is offering services Under The Radar.

Like...probably this is through a service like Betterhelp. Almost no one tracks the actual paperwork for the advisors on Betterhelp. I can see Harley signing on in her pajamas eating ice cream as she gets nostalgic for the life she led when she had stuff going for her career-wise. Vlad, meanwhile, saw a youtube ad and is flinging spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.

Anyway, Vlad and Harley sharing illegal psych sessions over Betterhelp while eating ice cream and talking shit is such a visual. I wish them all the best.

[flufffilleddonut]

Family Bonding

Summary - While Lucifer is now helping Charlie with the Hazbin Hotel, he still feels remorseful for not offering his services sooner. Luckily, with some help from Vaggie, Charlie knows just how to make him feel better.

Word Count - 1080

-

Lucifer was at the Hazbin Hotel, hovering in one of the hallways filled with doors to the residents’ rooms. He was by one of the ceiling lights, attempting to fix it, as it would not light up.

Charlie was walking down the hallway to check in on her father’s progress, with Vaggie accompanying her. As the couple rounded a corner, Charlie spotted her father up by the light. He had a look of sorrow on his face, as his hands fiddled with the light fixture.

“Dad? Is everything okay?” Charlie called out.

Lucifer turned and looked at his daughter before abandoning the light and flying down to the pair.

“Charlie, I…” He started, pausing for a moment. “I’m sorry that I’ve failed you so much.”

Charlie was slightly taken aback.

“Dad, it’s okay.” She reassured him. “It's just a light. We could always get it replaced.”

“No, it’s not the light. I just… I wish that I got involved in your project sooner. I wish that I was there for you, helping out since day one. I should’ve been, and there’s no excuse for why I wasn’t.” Lucifer said, looking down at the ground.

Charlie’s expression turned to one of empathy.

“We can’t change the past, Dad. If we could, I’m sure we all have things that we would do differently.” Charlie said, looking over at Vaggie, who smiled in response. Charlie turned back to her father, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What’s important is that you’re here now, trying your best to help out and make up for lost time.”

Lucifer looked up at Charlie, a slight smile on his face.

“Thanks, Charlie. That helps to hear. I suppose it’s just hard not to feel a bit sad remembering the bad things you’ve done in the past, y’know?” Lucifer said, his smile fading a bit.

Vaggie turned her head away. She could relate.

Charlie didn’t like seeing her father upset, and wished that there was a way she could make him feel better. She thought back to when she was a child, and how her father used to cheer her up when she was sad. Suddenly, she got an idea.

Charlie gave Lucifer a light shove, causing him to fall back onto the carpeted floor. She then planted herself on his waist, pinning him down.

“Vaggie! Come get his arms!” Charlie called out, beaming.

Vaggie was reluctant, but figured that Charlie had some sort of unorthodox plan to cheer up the King of Hell. She walked over and sat on her legs opposite Charlie, Lucifer’s hands being pinned beneath her knees.

“Uh, Ch-Charlie, dear, what are you doing?” Lucifer said, concern evident in his voice.

“Making you feel better the way you taught me!” Charlie chimed.

“And uh, how exactly might that b-'' Lucifer began, the sight of Charlie’s wiggling fingers inching towards him before being pulled back cutting him off.

Lucifer began to squirm, a nervous smile appearing on his face. He understood what Charlie meant, and knew that he could never bring himself to use his powers on his daughter or her girlfriend, leaving him helpless to their attack.

“Now, Charlie, I’m sure we can talk about this. No need to make any hasty decisions.” Lucifer pleaded, keeping his eyes trained on Charlie’s fluttering fingers.

Recognizing the situation, Vaggie spoke up.

“Tsk, tsk. You should have known better than to be upset around the hotel’s very own Tickle Monster. Now she has to tickle the sadness out of you. Trust me, I’ve experienced it before.” She said with a smirk.

Lucifer flushed, squirming more madly.

“Girls, please. We can work something else out, right?” He pleaded further.

“Hmm…” Charlie said, pretending to think. “Nope, too late! Tickles it is!”

With that, Charlie dug her wiggling fingers into Lucifer’s stomach, making him shriek before laughter started pouring out of his mouth.

“NAHAHA! CHAHAHAHARLIE!” Lucifer laughed out, his wings beginning to flap against the ground.

Vaggie giggled softly. 

“Wow Hon, I see where you get it from.” She teased.

“Vaaaagie!” Charlie whined, a slight blush appearing on her face. “You’re supposed to help tease my dad, not me!”

Vaggie chucked. 

“Sorry babe, couldn’t help myself.”

Lucifer continued laughing helplessly beneath the girls.

“NOHOHO! AHAHAHA! PLEHEHE-AHAHAHA!” He attempted to plead, Charlie’s fingers continuing to dance around his stomach.

Not wanting to break him so quickly, Charlie removed her hands and placed them behind herself, latching onto the underside of her father’s knees. She began gently scraping her nails against the area.

Lucifer flinched at the contact, becoming jumpy as Charlie attacked the sensitive spot. His legs started lightly kicking up and down, as his wings continued to flap.

“Ehehehe! Chahaharlie! Spahahare yohour old fahahather!” He giggled out.

“Not until I’m certain that you’re feeling better!” Charlie said playfully.

As Vaggie watched Lucifer’s wings flap against the ground, she got an idea.

“Hey, Charlie, check this out.” Vaggie said, reaching her hands over to Lucifer’s top set of wings.

“I aham feheheeling behetter, I prohom- eEE!” Lucifer began, a squeal arising as Vaggie wiggled her fingers into his wings.

“NAHAHA! STAHAHAP! AHAHAHA!” Lucifer laughed loudly.

“Woah! I didn’t know that wings could be ticklish!” Charlie said in amazement, as she switched to attacking Lucifer’s bottom set of wings.

“Oh, they are. Greatly so, in fact.” Vaggie said, remembering the times she and her fellow exorcists playfully fought one another.

“PLEHEHE-AHAHAHA! GIR-AHAHAHAHA! MEHEHERC-AHAHAHAHAHA!” Lucifer attempted to plead, finding that he was barely able to form words.

Worried that she might overdo things, Charlie slowed her hands to a stop and pulled them away from her father, with Vaggie following suit.

As Charlie and Vaggie got off of Lucifer, he curled in on himself, hiding away his wings and attempting to catch his breath.

“Well, I’d say that you have been sufficiently cheer- aH!” Charlie started, her statement cut off as her father yanked her to the ground, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Never change.” He said, keeping her in his hold.

“Aww! I won’t, Dad.” Charlie said, returning the embrace.

Charlie motioned for Vaggie to join them. When she walked within arm’s length, both Charlie and Lucifer pulled her down into the hug. Vaggie blushed slightly.

“We’re going to be here a while, aren’t we?” Vaggie questioned, although she felt that she already knew the answer.

“Yup.” Charlie and Lucifer said in unison.

Vaggie sighed defeatedly, despite the smile on her face.

Guess the light will have to wait.

-

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sexual assault and rape tw

I'm 22 years old and I've been having some trouble with the discovery that I have a rape fetish. I've known since 2022 but I still feel intense shame about it and there's so many things about it that scare me. I've also been wondering if there's a way to just stop feeling anything sexual? that'd save me some trouble bc then I wouldn't have to think about this ever again

I'm a bi woman. I only figured out I'm bisexual last year and before that I thought I was a lesbian. but then I learned how to masturbate and I realized men were a part of my fantasies — I was in denial for a long time and even thinking about being with a guy would make me feel despair and cry for hours back then. I still feel bad about it nowadays but at least I'm not in denial anymore. I've never had trouble understanding that I like women and whenever I fantasize about women I don't feel negative emotions during or after masturbation (even if I end up fantasizing about rape). but when I fantasize about men I always feel upset afterwards and my fantasies with men are *always* about rape/sexual assault. I don't feel a lot of attraction to men's bodies, I just feel attracted to the idea of them sexually assaulting me or raping me, y'know? so even in my fantasies with guys I never think too much about their body. actually, I prefer it if the guy is super old and I don't feel any positive emotions about him

in hindsight my attraction to men is definitely tied to sexual trauma. since I was a child (and specially when I was a child) I've been sexually assaulted by boys and adult men. they'd touch my genitals and make me touch their genitals or hold me in place without letting me go. there was also the usual butt slapping. I even forgot about what happened with a specific old man for some time when I was 9. when I finally remembered what happened and told my parents about it they acted as if it were my fault and I had wanted it. but, like, no actual rape happened. so is this even enough for a rape fetish to develop?

and my experience with f/m couples during childhood was pretty bad – I remember thinking that women were like servants and needed to be submissive. I tried asking my mom about it when I was 10 but she just got angry at me and told the rest of my family I was asking about inappropriate things and accusing me of wanting to do inappropriate things

I think all of these experiences are the reason I started having rape fantasies (well, I suppose they were just sexual assault fantasies back then) with men as a child (I remember the first ones starting when I was 7 and they kept happening up until I was 10). I remember thinking that it was how it worked and how it's meant to be for women. I'd feel disgusted afterwards and eventually, in my early teen years, I stopped thinking about this altogether. I didn't know what any of it meant but it made me uncomfortable so I didn't think about it at all for years. but then I learned how to masturbate when I was 20 and I had to force myself to think about everything that happened bc I needed to understand why my brain works the way it does. it seems pretty obvious in hindsight but it took me a long time to understand what all of it meant

anyway. I keep thinking about maybe trying something with a guy to see how it turns out bc everytime I think about liking men my mind just goes back to assault/rape, but perhaps that's something I need to heal from? and does all of this mean I like to be assaulted? it feels so good when I'm fantasizing about it that I get scared about how I'd react if it happened irl. I keep wondering if I would I like it too and if this means I liked being sexually assaulted as a child? and sometimes I get excited when I think about *actually* putting myself in a dangerous situation with a guy I don't know. I'm scared (but also excited by the thought) that one day I will actually do it.

tbh I wish I could just like vanilla stuff. or just not feel sexual attraction at all

hi anon,

you've given me so much to work with here and I am DELIGHTED, so let's take this bit by bit, answering your questions/curiosities in order as much as possible.

generally no, there's not really a way to turn off sexual feelings. a lot of people find that they get supremely un-horny on antidepressants or other mood stabilizers, but that's a side effects that's hardly guaranteed. the most reliable option would probably be a lobotomy, but that's a bit drastic so let's not do that.

this is a bit beside the point, and I certainly can't tell you what to call yourself, but if you'd rather be a lesbian you can absolutely be that. there's a huge difference between liking the idea of a very specific type of sexual situation with a fictional man and actually being attracted to real men, and it really doesn't sound like actual living breathing real men hold any particular allure for you. I know this isn't the biggest issue her by a longshot, but I do just want to say you can absolutely call yourself a lesbian if calling yourself bisexual isn't sparking joy. the only truth is what feels best to you.

there's no such thing as "enough rape" for something to traumatize you; any amount of sexual assault is sexual assault (and your parents are shitheels for implying that you, a child, were somehow responsible for that, btw). and while there's no quantifying how much assault is enough to "count," it's worth pointing out that exactly none is required to "justify" a kink - there are people with rape fantasies who will never experience a single act of nonconsensual violence in their lives, and that's just as fine as people who eroticize sexual violence in response to their own trauma. being horny is a morally neutral act.

at a guess I would say no, this probably doesn't mean you like to be assaulted; very few people do. and no, it certainly doesn't mean you enjoyed being assaulted as a child. even if you did enjoy some aspects of whatever was done to you, that's a.) beyond your control; arousal isn't a process that needs your permission to occur. lots of people orgasm while being sexually assaulted, which certainly doesn't mean it wasn't assault and b.) that does not in any way mean that the person or people who hurt you are absolved from blame for abusing their power over a child.

listen: even people who do enjoy getting roughed up or hurt in some capacity generally have to do at least a bare bones negotiation and provide some level of consent to get there, meaning it is fundamentally different from someone jumping out of the bushes to assault you like a villain of the week on SVU. I really enjoy getting tattoos, but I'd be understandably horrified if someone tackled me on the street to start sticking needles in my body without permission. likewise, a great deal of BDSM enthusiasts would be extremely unhappy to be flogged or whipped without warning by someone they didn't agree to do that with. context is everything, and the ability to control your scenario really, really matters. (I just said a little bit more about that here.)

if you do want to explore consensual nonconsent IRL, please emphasize the consensual part - find a sexual partner who understands how to negotiate a scene and with whom you can negotiate boundaries and opt-outs ahead of time, rather than a stranger you genuinely don't feel safe with.

[uptondixon]

Upstead Foster Daughter

Did you ever wonder how Upstead would be as foster parents for a teenage girl? Like Hank and Erin, Hailey and Jay welcomed Olivia to their home when she was 16. Olivia holds a lot of grudges and is full of mischief, but she is also incredibly sweet and has a tremendous need to feel like she belongs. To her surprise, Hailey and Jay will give her exactly that.

Masterlist

Word count: 2k-ish

[Chapter III] “What if I'm far from home?”

Jay recovers well and three months later Olivia finds herself face to face with him and Hailey again.

“Hailey,” Jay’s rough voice woke Hailey from a light sleep on the chair next to Jay’s hospital bed. 

“Jay!” she got up and held one of his hands between hers, leaving a chaste kiss on it. 

“Hi, my love,” Jay smiled, the effort to do so appearing bigger than it should be. 

Hailey smiled back, “How are you feeling?”

He made a face and tried to change his position on the bed, a huff leaving his lips, “Everything hurts.”

“I’ll call the nurse.”

“No, wait,” Jay grabbed her hand. “Let us be for a while, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

Hailey stared at her stubborn husband. She knew he hated hospitals, and he also wasn’t known for admitting his pain, but she let him be for now.

“What happened?” Jay asked. “I mean, with my CI and the case?”

“What about hearing about yourself first, huh? The surgery was a success, but the doctor said you must take it easy for a while otherwise it won’t heal properly. You scared me, Jay. I can’t see you in this situation again.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve waited for you. You’re my partner, we do this kind of stuff together.”

“I should’ve insisted on going with you. Maybe if you had backup…”

“You can’t know that for sure, Hailey. If anything, you could be in my place right now so I’m happy I was alone.”

“Jay…”

“Let’s leave the what-ifs behind, okay? I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” he was the one to kiss her hand this time. “I love you.”

“I love you too, always.”

Jay smiled, “Where’s my kiss? Or do I have a bad breath? I don’t know how long I was out.”

Hailey laughed, kissing her husband’s lips softly. “It’s been a day and a half.”

“Wait!” Jay said. “What about the girl who helped me? Olivia. Is she okay?”

“She is, it’s a long story though. We found out she had run away from her foster family.”

“Why?” Jay asked with a frown.

“I don’t know, we talked with her social worker but nothing was wrong, it seemed like a teenager thing.”

“Really? You guys went there to check?”

“We did, Kev and I talked with her foster mom. She seemed good, and the social worker confirmed that.”

“Well,” Jay rearranged himself on the bed again. “Hopefully she will be okay. We can keep an eye on her just in case.”

“I exchanged numbers with her social worker. Told her to call me if anything happened.” 

“Of course you did,” he smiled, but then his expression became more serious. “If it wasn’t for her… I don’t even know Hailey.”

“Yeah, I was terrified hearing from another person that you were shot, but I was happy you weren’t alone.” 

“Me too, I still remember her eyes staring at me in a panic. She must have been so scared, Hailey. But she still did everything I told her to.”

“She was a little shaken up afterward, Kim and Kev said she barely said a word to them. But she was brave.” 

“Oh, about the case,” Hailey started. “It was closed rather quickly, I’m sure Platt and Voight pulled some strings,” she laughed lightly and so did Jay.

“The team found out your CI was still working for his old gang, when you called him asking for info on our case he told them and they sent someone after you.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jay said.

“Both your CI and the guy who shot you were arrested."

Jay looked like he wanted to ask a million questions but Hailey spoke before he had the chance, "But now I just wish to never think about this again, can we do that?”

Jay nodded, “You don’t have to, I promise this was the last bullet to my count,” he said with a smile.

“It better be, Halstead!”

⭑*•⊱ 3 months later ⊰•*⭑

Hailey's phone has been ringing for the past 5 minutes, her ringtone waking Jay up. Hailey came running out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her long hair dripping water everywhere. Jay smiled lazily at the sight.

“I'm sorry Jay, I forgot to turn it off. I came in so desperate for a shower.”

It was around 1 am when she arrived home from an extra shift. There was a situation in a women’s shelter and she and Kim decided to go and lend a hand. 

Hailey did a double take at her phone when she saw the name ‘Martha’, she was Olivia's social worker. 

Jay noticed her shock and said, “You're good? Who is it?”

“It's Olivia's social worker,” she said while picking up the call. Jay sat up, all the traces of sleep suddenly vanishing from his brain. Something bad must have happened for her to call at this hour.

“Martha? Hi, yes I can talk. What's going on? Is Olivia okay?” Hailey said. She felt Jay's presence by her side. 

“Of course, no, don't worry about that it's not a bother at all. I'm glad you called, my husband and I are going right now, bye.” She hung up the phone and turned to Jay.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Jay asked straight away.

“She ran away again.”

2:00 am on a Wednesday, in Chicago. Jay is doing the best he can to avoid thinking about all the possible scenarios that could happen to a 15-year-old girl alone at night. He and Hailey drove around Olivia's foster family neighborhood, checking places she could have run to. No sign of her. After checking all the places the family said she likes to go, Hailey and Jay started to think further.

“Maybe we should call patrol to help out on the search? Call in the team?” Jay said, already sounding way more stressed than he intended to. He knew she wasn't missing long enough to follow all the missing person's protocol, it's been 3 hours. One of the kids that shared a room with Olivia woke up to drink a glass of water and didn't find her on the bed and her clothes were gone from the closet. However, Jay can't help but think the worst. A lot of things can happen in 3 hours, right? 

“Let's check the nearest bus and train stations, if she's not there then we'll see what we can do at the station,” Hailey said, her tone filled with worry.

They got nothing from the bus station, it was almost empty and no one saw a girl walking around alone. But their luck changed at the train station. They noticed her from a distance, sitting down on a bench, a backpack by her side. She was waiting for the train that would come at any minute now. Hailey and Jay looked at each other with relief, moving in the direction of the girl. 

“Olivia,” her head spun toward the feminine voice.

“Hailey? Jay?” Olivia stood up, putting her bag on her shoulders.

Jay immediately tensed up, afraid she might run from them. 

“Olivia we just wanna help, okay?” Hailey said with a small smile. “Come and talk to us.”

Jay watched in silence, hesitant to say anything that could scare the girl away. 

Hailey continued, “Please, Olivia? Whatever you're thinking, it's no good being alone in Chicago at night, we know you know that.” 

Of course, she knew. Olivia was scared, she didn't want to run away in the middle of the night, but it was the best time to do this so she had to gather the courage and go. Always looking over her shoulder the whole way.

“We're taking you to the station,” Jay spoke for the first time, “You're not in trouble, but we can talk there, you can tell us what's going on. How does that sound?” 

Hailey nodded in affirmation to Jay's words.

“Fine,” was all Olivia said. She followed them to the car quietly. The train arrived when they left. If they had got there 5 minutes later, Jay thought. 5 damn minutes and she would be gone.

Olivia did not say a single word on the way to the station. Hailey and Jay tried every possible topic of conversation they could think of but it was useless. She shut herself completely. Hailey was the one driving and after giving up the small talk, she and Jay were exchanging worried looks in silence. Jay, especially, was in a lot of thought. Of course Olivia shut them out, she did not know them. Between that day at the alley when they first met, Jay being in the hospital and Olivia being sent back to her foster family, neither he nor Hailey had a real conversation with her. Jay realized that he didn’t even thank her. 

“I never thanked you for saving my life, Olivia,” Jay said after a long silence.

“It was nothing,” Olivia answered in a low voice.

Jay looked at Hailey in surprise, he was not expecting an answer at all. “What do you mean it was nothing, I could have bled out if you hadn't called my team,” Jay looked at her over his shoulder. “Thank you.”  

It was around 3 am when they got to the district. The three of them went over to the Intelligence break room to talk. 

Olivia sat at the small table close to the window. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Jay asked.

“No,” Olivia mumbled without looking at him.

“I’m just gonna go straight to the point Olivia,” Hailey said, pulling a chair and sitting in front of the girl. “What’s happening with your foster home? Why are you running away?”

“You don’t get it,” Olivia said, still not looking at them.

“Then make us understand,” Hailey said calmly. She looked at Jay silently asking for help, he came and sat beside Hailey.

“We just wanna help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t open up to us,” Hailey tried again. Olivia looked up, looking between them both.

“You don’t know us and we don’t know you,” Jay started. “But we want to get to know you, we want to help you.”

“Why?” Olivia asked.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Hailey answered. “You’re a good kid, you deserve to be happy. If your current foster home is not giving you that then we need to know.”

Olivia thought for a moment. She never expected to see Hailey and Jay again, let alone have this conversation. They were nice to her and she knew they were grateful for what she did for Jay. They probably think they owe her something and that’s why they’re doing this. Whatever the reason, maybe they can help her.

“Fine,” Olivia said looking at the pair. “There is nothing wrong with the foster family.”

Hailey and Jay stared at her in confusion. They did not believe she was running away for the sake of it, it made no sense.

“They feed me, they are nice to me, they give me fresh clothes and a warm bed,” Olivia said. “But that’s all it is.”

“What do you mean?” Hailey asked. 

Olivia took a deep breath before saying, “I’m just another kid to them. They’re good people and everything but that is not my home. I feel like an intruder there. I know I should be grateful, a lot of kids are not this lucky when it comes to foster homes, but I can’t help feeling like this. So I made a plan.”

“A plan?” Hailey asked.

“Yeah, I planned to leave Chicago and the foster system behind. I would miss Chicago but at least I was going to be my own family.”

Hailey and Jay looked at each other in realization. So that's why she was running? She just wanted to belong. 

“I know the system's not perfect Olivia, but running is not the solution,” Jay said calmly. “How would you live? And the people who know you? They would be worried as hell.”

“We would be worried as hell,” Hailey said. 

Jay nodded, “We would be the first ones looking for you out there.” Olivia smiled softly at that.

“Will you let us help?” Hailey asked.

“Mm-hmm, okay.” Olivia honestly had no idea how they could help, but it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

Here we go! How you guys like this chapter? Thank you again for all the love on the previous chapters!

[qiangweirosa]

Could we please get some headcanons about the Ann, Makoto, Futaba, and Haru meeting s/o's super nice and welcoming mother and father for the first time? Like they make the girls a delicious home cooked meal, treat her like their own daughter and are super supportive of the twos relationship? Because these poor girls need some positive family interactions.

Ann + Makoto + Futaba + Haru meeting Reader's parents! (separate)

relationships: ann/reader, makoto/reader, futaba/reader, haru/reader, + the girls & reader's parents tws: none! wc: 641 extra: i am so. so sorry for how long this has taken me to write. i hope it'll be to your liking and thank you for the request!

Ann : 

Ann obviously knows that her relationship with her partner is serious, but when they tell her that their parents wish to meet her, she freaks out.

She has no idea what she’s supposed to do! She calls Shiho and begs her for advice, not wanting to ruin her first impression.

She also asks her partner an endless amount of questions about their parents, what they’re like, what they want their child’s potential partner to be like, and more.

When she does meet them she’s a little reserved at first, trying to be polite and make a good impression, but soon enough she turns back to her usual self the moment their parents start trying to converse with her.

She gets along with them so well. She’s always willing to eat their parents’ food and compliments it so much that she ends up going home with the leftovers. Overall she’s good company and their parents love talking with Ann as much as she does.

It won’t be unusual to see Ann spend time with her partner’s parents on her own, or randomly visit. After all, she’s always welcome.

Makoto : 

Makoto wants everything to be perfect.

When her partner’s parents first invite her over, she does an endless amount of research on the proper etiquette and how to behave and how she should look and even more.

When the day comes, she’s very stiff. Her partner can obviously tell something isn’t right – and they talk to her for a while to reassure her. 

It does somewhat work, and she’s slightly less stressed as she greets their parents.

Chances are their parents can also tell Makoto is stressed, and so they keep telling her to just relax, and that this isn’t a serious setting – she can just be herself.

Makoto isn’t used to being so pampered, and she’s pretty flustered over it. Still, she likes it! And having a happy family environment really isn’t so bad.

Futaba : 

Futaba already doesn’t like meeting new people, but meeting her partner’s parents?! That’s a terrifying situation!!

She has half a mind to cancel but no!! This is important to both of them, and besides, her partner will be there if anything goes wrong.

Her partner has probably already told their parents about how Futaba is, asking them to be patient with her. So when she first greets them, they don’t make any comment on her anxiety or the way she hides behind her partner.

They treat her so nicely, Futaba feels like she could cry. They’re sweet and let her take her time if she has trouble finding the courage to speak.

She can definitely see where her partner gets all of their care from.

Futaba gradually grows more comfortable around their parents and she enjoys getting to learn more about her partner’s upbringing (especially the embarrassing parts, to their misfortune).

Haru : 

Haru has experience meeting a partner’s family, if you could even call it that, having been engaged before.

But for some reason, she still feels nervous leading up to it.

Her current partner is someone she cares deeply for, and she wants to make a good impression! Despite how many times they reassure her, she can’t help but worry about their parents’ opinion on her.

Her worries immediately dissipate the moment she actually meets them. They do everything in their power to make her comfortable, and treat her like they had known her for years.

Haru feels… happy. Relaxed. She soon gets into joyful conversations with them (most of them about their partner, actually), and she seems at ease.

Haru soon grows to be pretty close with their parents. She visits them often and they have a lot to bond over (especially if the parents enjoy cooking too!). Overall, she’s glad to be part of the family, and especially to not be alone anymore.

[planet-crait]

Part 1 analysis of Dev Dimmadone from Fairly Oddparents A New Wish. A couple of things I want to mention before jumping into this, I have not finished the first season. Last episode I watched was Pattys Possum Party Playground, but I have thoughts and I decided to share them before I reach the end so I can see how my thoughts change as the season goes on or after I finish the finale. Second I recognize I have some bias regarding Dev. I’ll go into more detail why but I heavily empathize with Dev and his struggles so it’s something I wanted to make clear before I started. I’ll also put a Trigger Warning for discussing abuse and my own experiences with it so please keep that in mind. Apologies for how long this gets I didn’t realize how much I had to say about Dev until I started writing. With all of that said let’s get into it.

Something that caught my attention very very early on regarding Dale and Devs relationship is it is painfully and abundantly clear Dale has no love for Dev. We see Dev adores and looks up to his father but no matter how hard Dev tries that love is not reciprocated.

It is unfortunately common for kids who are neglected at home to lash out at school and misbehave, it gets to a point where even negative attention is better than no attention. This is of course not healthy or good behavior but more desperate acts of a kid desperate for any sort of attention.

Growing up, I was in a somewhat not necessarily similar situation to Dev but I can somewhat see parts of myself in Dev? I’m not sure the best wording for it but I was not wealthy nor my family, but I was largely outcasted by my peers and ignored and bullied by them. It was hell. And while Dev isn’t bullied by anyone, he certainly is more the bully, he’s also very alone.

Despite being bullied I had my family who at least cared and I had the occasional recess person? I can’t remember their official title but they wherent teachers lolz. But regardless they took pity on me and let me hang out with them. For Dev though….he doesn’t have anyone in his corner. His dad doesn’t care about him, he has no friends and the teachers don’t care about him. He’s just painfully alone. No one has his back. The sins of his father are put on Devs shoulders regardless of how realistic it is to blame him for things. We see Mr. Guzman glaring at Dev in Lost and Founders Day

All Dev did was hand out bracelets his dad made but Mr. Guzman is suspicious, it seems, of Dev himself as if he is up to something bad with them. The animators actively choose to have Mr. Guzman look at a nine year old this way. He could have been looking this way at the bracelets but no. It was directed towards Dev himself. Despite him, for now, being friends with Hazel and seemingly behaving better Mr. Guzman doesn’t trust that Dev is changing and improving. Instead of being glad something changed with Dev, Dev is met with distrust and suspicion.

In that same episode Hazel assumes the worst of Dev and assumes he was behind everything that happened at the Founders Day Festival. She refuses to listen to him and even give him a chance to explain and decides he’s a bad person. Now this isn’t to say Hazel is a bad person for this, more it was unfair and so far I haven’t seen any real resolution to this. Dev almost seems to be held to a different standard in this regard, we see Hazel screw up big time in The Wellsington Hotellsington in regards to Winn and Jasmine and they forgive her right after she apologizes despite Winn not knowing her for long. Hazel similarly hasn’t known Dev for that long but won’t even let him apologize and storms off very angrily and seemingly never reached out to him to try and work things out.

No Dev does not either but I don’t blame him as much in that regard because Dev clearly has never had friends before Hazel. He doesn’t know really it’s okay for friends to fight and make up and still be friends. And with how Hazel blew up at him I was kind of thinking as well Hazel decided the bridge was burned so to speak and was admittedly surprised when she said in Battle of the Dimmisonian that they could still be friends (which I…question how accurate a statement from Hazel that is but I’ll get their I promise). It’s interesting to me Dev is worried about how Hazel perceives him despite them not being friends. Even though Hazel turned her back on him, he still wants some sort of connection with her even if he’s going about it in an unhealthy manner. Again negative attention is better then no attention, so even if it means fighting and bickering he’d rather take that than have absolutely nothing.

This kid has sky high walls he’s built, but they’re shaky and crumble at the slightest pressure. After only two days of being friendly Dev is willing to disobey a direct order from his father and put himself in harms way to keep Hazel safe. This is very likely the first time Dev has ever disobeyed his father, the man he is desperate to prove himself to and get some sort of love and affection from. He risks ever getting that from his father to protect Hazel, someone he’s not been on friendly terms with for all that long. Which makes him being so alone all the sadder.

I mentioned it in another post but Dev has a lot of love to give people who are willing to put in honestly what feels like the bare minimum of work to break down his walls. And it seems no one has even tried to get past them. He’s written off by everyone as nothing but a rich bully that doesn’t care when that couldn’t be further from the truth when push comes to shove. He’s willing to disobey his father, someone he still is desperate to win the love and affection of, to protect someone that matters to him.

Circling back to the point I mentioned earlier about my doubts regarding Hazel still considering Dev her friend. Now this may just be an oversight but…it still happened so I feel it’s okay to discuss here. In Pattys Possum Party Playground we see pretty much all the classmates we’ve seen previously hanging out and having fun, Dev however is missing. I’m not saying anyone has to invite him, but if you consider someone a friend…why not invite them? Maybe the background characters were thrown in to make it seem more like a party and to emphasize them then being alone. Why not include Dev then as well? Why is he left out of the fun with everyone? A line from say Hazel commenting his dad wouldn’t let him come would do a lot of heavy lifting to show how terrible Dale is and how rough Dev has it and show Hazel is thinking about him.

Again, Hazel doesn’t have to be his friend. But she said they could be friends which is why I mention this. I will admit this is potentially where my own biases come into play. I was the kid people said was their “friend” to get teachers off of their backs and I just didn’t realize this is what was happening and it hurt when I was excluded from things. If I was in Devs shoes I’d feel hurt I wasn’t invited to something everyone else was invited to. And I imagine it would hurt even more as someone already struggling to try and get some sort of love and affection from anyone really.

I hope I’m wrong and I hope we see more of Hazel and Dev rebuilding their friendship, but I’m concerned we won’t really see that or any consequences to that really play out. Again could be wrong I’ll have to wait and see in that regard this is just how I’m seeing things with my own biases as of right now where I’m at in season 1.

We know that Dev gets Peri because he is miserable due to his and Hazels fight and his father’s very public rejection of him. Godparents are supposed to help make things easier to deal with for their kids and help them navigate their difficult lives. Unfortunately, so far from what I’ve seen Peri and Dev aren’t a great match for Godparent and Godchild. I’ve only seen their dynamic for one episode, but when they first met, we see Dev is extremely exited when he first meets Peri:

However, something things to go very wrong because he goes from being sad but not wearing his sunglasses to being back in his sunglasses and being overall disinterested in Peri while Peri seems very frustrated and disinterested in forming any sort of bond with Dev.

I don’t know what all has happened between the pair, but for me it’s notable he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses when he and Peri first met and are wearing them again next time we see him. He was so excited to met Peri and I wonder if he wanted to try and have some sort of bond with him that was shut down. We don’t know obviously and it’s just speculation on my end but it’s something I wonder about.

When Peri notices his parents later on in the episode he’s so focused on himself he’s not even acknowledging Dev or his questions and seems uninterested in sharing about himself. For me, it reads that Peri is really only focused on granting wishes and not about with forming any sort of bond with Dev, something Dev right now desperately needs. He’s lonely and sad and lashing out because he’s been denied real affection for so long and doesn’t know how to connect with other people. It’s sad that his AU Pairs seem to on some level recognize this as they try and comfort Dev after Lost and Founders Day and acknowledge that they cannot give Dev what he needs.

I honestly think Dev would be much better off with a Godparent like Cosmo and Wanda or even Juandissimo, he needs a Godparent who is willing and knows how to connect with a kid like Dev who has a seriously troubled homelife and Peri doesn’t have the tools or knowledge to really help Dev in the ways he needs. I imagine based on what we’ve seen recently of what Jorgan thinks Godparents need to be for their Godkids I am not surprised Peri isn’t handling Dev the best. He was likely taught granting wishes correctly and quickly for their kids is what makes a Godparent good, rather than forming a connection and understanding their godkid. This isn’t exactly Peri’s fault, he’s new and inexperienced but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not helping Dev either and granting wishes isn’t what he needs, he needs love and someone to be their for him that loves and cares about him.

A side note, I realize again this is more of a gag and not meant to be taken seriously but since I’m looking at all of the things that has happened to Dev so far I just have to wonder. In Battle of the Dimmasonian, Peri’s first instinct is to hide Dev from his parents when they ask if he has a Godkid.

Again I know this is just for a gag but don’t we all love playing the game of “find ways to emotionally devastate our favorite characters even more so we can give them comfort and put them back together again? No? Just me? Well I’m gonna do it anyways. If I was in Devs shoes in this moment I would probably be thinking that my Godparent is ashamed of me, that they don’t want to be associated with me or anyone to know that they where assigned to help me. We know Peri is anxious and doesn’t want his parents smothering him or being weird about his first godkid but Dev definitely doesn’t know this given all the questions he asked that Peri didn’t answer. In Devs mind this could be just another person rejecting him without giving him a chance. Another public rejection of him.

Again I know this is a nothing burger moment in the grand scheme of things but it’s fun to imagine something for it. This being the moment Dev realizes Peri is just another adult in his life stuck with him who doesn’t care about him. Dev falling into the mindset of “if he doesn’t care about me, why should I care about him?” Because angst is just a little fun to think about.

Dev is so desperate for love and attention he tries to get something for his dad by trying to make it work related in the hopes of Dale noticing and agreeing to do “work”. Asking to throw merch boxes back and forth, testing proximity sensors by holding hands this kid will do anything to get something from Dale but it’s not enough.

It’s hard to properly describe the devastation that comes from realizing someone who should love you, who you thought loves you never did. It’s a gut punch over and over again every time you look at them. This recently happened to me and to be frank I’m still not okay from it. You think someone has your back and cares about you but then you come to realize that you’re nothing to them. For me I swing wildly between rage and crying uncontrollably, for a kid as young as Dev I can’t even imagine what that knowledge is doing to him. And what’s worse is even when knowing you don’t matter to this person and that they don’t love you, your love for them doesn’t just….go away. It lingers, longs for some sort of proof that it was just a fluke, that they love you, that you’re not unlovable and the smallest scraps they throw your way have you scrambling to hold onto that, to show them that you are worthy of their love, but it never works, and you’re just tossed away again like trash. You start to wonder if it’s you that’s the problem. You think there has to be something you’ve done to warrant being treated this way. There isn’t though, but to accept that you would also have to contend with the person you love being a monster and it’s not an easy pill to swallow, it’s almost easier to see yourself as the problem and try desperately to try and “fix” whatever your loved one thinks is wrong with you. You live in survival mode just trying to get through it all and it doesn’t just shut off when you’re not around the person or people causing the harm it’s constantly running.

Since this is a kids show I highly highly doubt they’ll really truly dive into the trauma and after affects of dealing with emotional abuse. When I was a kid shows where willing to dive into these topics but shows these days tend to shy away from it (something I have issue with but that’s not the focus of todays post). I just more am sharing because I think some aspects are applicable to Dev.

Again I have a support system, I have friends who worry and care and let me vent and cry and try and deal with it all. Dev has no one in his corner. No adults looking out for him, no friends to offer comfort, he’s painfully alone and dealing with this sheer devastation, pain so bad it’s the tipping point for him getting a Godparent who unfortunately seems overall disinterested in really engaging with Dev in any meaningful way.

Previous posts have somewhat discussed the Dale situation but it was very uh angry for Dev so maybe I can try and write out my thoughts without wanting to commit a crime. Dale is a horrible parent. There isn’t any other way to put it. He’s a shit parent who emotionally abuses and manipulates Dev, who is desperate for his love and affection. Dev tries to sell acts of affection as work related to try and get attention from his dad and is willing to do insane things if it’s what he wants (he seriously considers eating a lizard. This kid is just so desperate for love). Dale emotionally manipulates Dev and tries to use his own past to guilt trip Dev and deny letting him just be a kid. Kids shouldn’t ever have to work, they’re kids they should be able to just be kids but Dale has Dev so spun around and desperate for love he’ll work if it means maybe his dad will love him. It doesn’t work but Dev is desperate and willing to do anything if it means getting even crumbs of affection from his father who can’t even be bothered to great his son and walk away without him forcing Dev to run to catch up.

Dale clearly has been extremely absent from Devs life overall, we see in Peace of Pizza just how excited Dev was when he thought his dad actually came for Dev.

He’s so happy and carefree and excited to see his dad come to support Dev and the anger when he realizes it’s not Dale hurts all the more. For just a moment he thought maybe his dad did care and want to be there for him but no, he doesn’t even care. It’s notable to me that when he finds out Hazel tried to trick him into thinking his dad came is when Dev really gets angry. He was mostly just playing games and such until that moment when he seems to get genuinely angry and I wonder if that comes from a place of deep hurt. The one thing he wants more then anything is for his dad to actually be there for him, and in his mind Hazel takes that desire and mocks him with it, trying to parade a pretend dad just to use him to get what she wants from him.

This next part is pure speculation but I just don’t know another way to explain this. After Dev revealed he’s lactose intolerant and him being forced to watch everyone else have fun and enjoy something he cannot have a why he was fighting so hard against letting them have one, Hazel mentions they could have ordered him a lactose free version which makes Dev freeze and comment he thought that was a myth. Now I know from a writing standpoint they wanted to make sure it’s Hazel who saves the day, however it carries a very painful implication of Dale likely actively lying to Dev about lactose free alternatives for Dev. I can’t imagine why he would do such a thing, maybe he thinks they taste or smell gross and don’t want them in the house? So he thinks it’s easier to just lie and say they don’t exist and eat pizza and such in front of Dev who can only watch in misery.

And yes I am assuming Dale likely would do this based off of when Dev talks about how he would have to sit and watch everyone enjoy pizza and not get any. He sounds like he’s talking from personal experience and with how sensitive to it he is it feels more like a reaction to something he’s had to deal with before vs a fear of it he has.

Regardless of it I’m correct or not, it is undeniable the school really spectacularly failed Dev in this regard and once again set him up for failure. What do I mean by that? In Peace of Pizza we see Dev show Hazel his allergy card.

(Yes I am going on a mini tangent here bare with me I didn’t know a better place to put this) now I don’t know about you but I have only ever seen allergy cards like this in either a school setting or perhaps at a large dinner where everyone is defaulted to being served the same plate of food and people with allergies or other dietary restrictions have a card so the server knows they have one of the special plates. This to me indicates the school knows or should reasonably know Dev can’t have lactose. Despite them reasonably knowing Dev can’t have pizza, they do not offer him any alternatives to enjoy as a reward. As a kid when something like this was done, an alternative was given to the kid with allergies so they could still participate in the fun and not feel left out, however for Dev it seems the default is he’s left out. He’s expected to and frowned upon for not participating in Kindness Day despite, in his eyes, him being actively punished if he does. While everyone else gets a reward to enjoy, he would have to watch and be miserable. No, this is not the end of the world obviously but it is incredibly unkind to Dev to not have anything for him that he can enjoy as a reward despite being expected to participate for a reward the school knows he cannot have and it carries an extra sting happening on a day literally called kindness day.

Yes I know that the school is trying to teach kids the importance of kindness so it shouldn’t be about the reward, but again it does feel wildly unfair to reward most students while seemingly singling out one to not get anything. They’re trying to teach kindness while refusing to be kind to one of their students. And further yes I understand this was done so we could see Hazel be a good negotiator and be the hero. Yes fine, but it is hard to ignore the implications this writing choice carries regarding Dev. It shows the school is extremely disinterested at best regarding Dev and his health needs and I don’t blame Dev for not wanting to participate if this is what the school does when Dev has an allergy restriction and can’t enjoy something for the entire class. Hazel has to be the one to wish for a pizza for Dev. It’s not Hazels job to make sure her classmates feel included and have fun. It shouldn’t fall on her shoulders to help her classmates, that should be on the teachers but they didn’t seem to notice or care Dev was feeling left out. The school could afford to buy a whole pile of pizzas it doesn’t feel unreasonable to think they could afford to do something so Dev doesn’t feel so left out.

Like I don’t know get him Oreos or something it doesn’t have to be big just something so he’s not the only one who doesn’t get anything. Again yes I realize the point was to have Hazel save the day and get her and Dev closer I understand this but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes the school seem to not care about a kid who is already severely emotionally neglected at home. They could have had the school offer an alternative that Dev didn’t like or if they wanted to keep this a secret have Mr. Guzman be the one to hand Dev the lactose free pizza and make some comment and realize he forget to tell Dev or something. Yes it’s not ideal to have him forget to say anything but for me it would be easier to hand wave away then absolutely nothing, and again it just adds onto Dev the feeling that he is unimportant and doesn’t matter. These moments of rejection and loneliness start to add up and get harder and harder to deal with emotionally.

Rewinding some for just a second but in Stanky Danky we do see a brief moment of Dale showing more love and affection to a sentient trash can than Dev. Once again it’s a short moment on screen for us but we can see Dev is pretty upset and hurt by this rejection.

Dev seems to bounce back from this pretty quickly, possibly he’s used to his dad behaving this way which is a whole other can of worms to open up but at this point, he’s not friends with Hazel and still has his walls up which I think potentially plays a part in this but I’ll circle back to that.

Then theirs the uh infamous statue scene that is emotionally devastating and no one besides Hazel and sort of Wanda seem to recognize how fucked up it is. Even still Hazel forgets all about Dev the second she wins the hat and once again, Dev is a lower priority than an inanimate object. Let me be clear, I am not angry at Hazel, she’s a kid at the end of the day and frankly it’s very easy to distract kids. She’s not a bad kid or friend here for getting distracted I’m just discussing from the Dev side of things that in this episode the two people that matter most to him have placed an inanimate object as their priority over Dev. Whether or not Dev realizes Hazel forgot about him for her hat isn’t exactly clear, but it happened and I talk about it solely because it makes my heart hurt and if I have to suffer so do you.

What’s interesting to me is we see Dev has been suffering for some time, but it’s only after Founders Day that he finally is given a Godparent. Arguably it’s likely the getting direct confirmation that boots are more important to his father then his own son, he bought them on the day Dev was born, seemingly if Devs math is correct, and that overshadowed Devs birth, but I find it interesting to explore some other factors that maybe make the blow feel even worse.

We know Dev hasn’t had a friend before Hazel, she’s really the first person that he called a friend. She helped bring down his sky high walls that his classmates seemed to intimidated by to even attempt to cross over. (I also wonder if somehow a fear of Dale maybe also involved with his lack of friends). And we also know Dale is at best emotionally distant which likely Dev impersonated to try and fit in better with his dad and to try and protect himself from getting hurt. However, Hazel breaks down that protective barrier he’s had on so when his dads statue is revealed and he and Hazel fight, it hurts more then it did previously because he doesn’t have that protection anymore and has to face the full brunt of that pain and rejection. Not only that but he is also, in his mind, losing his first and only friend despite him risking so much trying to keep her safe from his dad. Being rejected hurts, but being rejected while trying to do the right thing? Thats got to be an even bigger emotional blow.

I know some of what happens in the season 1 finale, I don’t know all the details or how we get their but I have a feeling Devs feelings of being unwanted and unloved potentially play a massive role in his breakdown. His school couldn’t care less about him, his dad is emotionally abusive, he doesn’t have any friends and every time he gets a glimpse of happiness it’s brutally ripped away from him. This is a literal 9 year old child, and he’s having to deal with being neglected and ignored by any person in his life who is supposed to really be there for him. It’s realistic to life kids slip through the cracks far too often, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially knowing that things just get worse for him from here. All I can hope is season 2 gives him some relief and he gets someone in his life who genuinely cares about him and will be there for him.

That’s everything so far I have in regards to thoughts about Dev. I always love hearing other people’s thoughts and I certainly will have more as I continue with the season.

[generalpalacefishgoop]

Transcript of the conversation between qBad and Pomme at Baghera's castle

Bad :Hi, Pomme! Good morning! How are you?

*sees the messages on the black concrete* Ah.....

Pomme :Hi Dad :'3

Bad :Oh no, what's wrong, Pomme? You ok?

Pomme :I wanted to leave a little gift for when she would come back

and... yeah... I discovered this

Bad :Ah, you saw the black concrete and the messages you had left?

Pomme :I didn't' see it before :(

Bad :While you were away, Pomme, all of the parents found black concrete appear in different places that were significant to their kid and, yeah...um well, as you can see, this is where we found your message, and I guess, since we went to purgatory, you know, no one's been by here to clean up or maybe before...maybe Baghera just didn't want to clean. You know, I didn't clean up Dapper's message, I don't think at all...someone else did...

Pomme :It's terrible because... they left messages for me too

I'm not sure if we received them, I don't remember well still

But one of them, it literally says they're coming to find me...

And... yeah I guess you all went there to find us, heh :(

Bad :Yeah, no we did. We did, Pomme. But um... you know we found you but we weren't necessarily able to take you guys back with us.

Pomme :Yeah... the earthquake happened, right?

Bad :A big explosion went off and yeah caused that... *sigh* Look, I'm sure Baghera is fine, Pomme, and I'm sure she's going to make it back here, at some point.

Pomme :I remembered recently

She was there, when the earthquake happened

Bad :Oh, you saw her? Yeah, she was I remember you were all in the little cages

Pomme :Yeah... she "was"...

Bad :But look, I'm sure she's fine, a little bit worse for wear, but I'm sure she's alright, and um...you know right now, I think it's just to...you know, wait.

Pomme :Do you think she's alive still...?

Bad :Yeah, I do. I've got some good reasons to think she was alive. What I would do, Pomme, maybe leave a message here, another one, just for her, because if your messages where somehow able to get to us, there's a good chance, they'll be able to get to her.

*Pomme goes up and places down a sign on the black concrete and places down a pot of crocus*

Pomme :Dad... I'm sorry we ran away

It was useless anyway, we couldn't protect you in the end :(

Bad :I think you guys running away, I think it was important to you at the time. You guys did it to protect us and you just want to keep your family safe. I understand that. I don't think you guys could have known anything that was gonna happen so, I wouldn't blame yourself, Pomme. I don't think you should.

Pomme :It was... a panic move. mostly

Bad :Hmm maybe but it also may have seen like the right move but Pomme, even if you want to view as a mistake, which I'm not sure it was, the important things is Pomme, is to not let our mistake drag us down, the only time we have ever truly made a mistake is when we can't learn from it Pomme. So I think in this situation, while maybe it wasn't a good idea to run off, I think you can learn something from it. Just think about what can I take from this situation and what should I do in the future, you can't change the past Pomme, but you can look forward.

Pomme :I do feel guilty but... your words are truly comforting :(

I'm glad you're not... upset, that much :')

Bad :*chuckles* I don't think I could be upset with you, Pomme, especially not when the reason you guys were doing it was to keep us safe, I wished you guys would have talked to us but, you guys did what you thought was right, and in the end, I'm just happy that we got you guys back.

Pomme :There was kinda... no time really

They were all very... panicked about the situation

Bad :You guys were caught in a bad situation, when someone is threatening people who are close to us, it's like a fight or flight response kicks in, (...) we often times don't think, we just act. Sometimes, the decision we make ends up not being the best one. But who knows, Pomme, maybe if you guys had stayed, something worse would have even happened you know. We don't know, we just dont know at this point. We never know what would have happened Pomme, I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. I think you guys did the best you could, with what you knew. *sigh* So, in the future, maybe tell me at least? Hopefully something like this never happens again.

Pomme :Thank you, Dad :') <3

Bad :Aw you're welcome, you're the apple of my eye, Pomme, and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.

Pomme :I don't want anything to happen to you either

I love you, you're important to me okay? :') <3

Bad :Aw, thank you, Pomme, that's very sweet! I love you, too. I'm sure everything is gonna work out, Pomme. We just can't give up hope. Baghera will return to us, someday, I just know it.

Pomme :I hope so, I can only hope

Bad :Yeah, sometimes that's all we can do, Pomme, is hope.

Pomme :Like you did for us during all this time, I imagine :(

Bad :Yeah, that's a great point, Pomme, I never gave up hope that you guys were still alive somewhere, and look! You're back! So I guess my hope paid off after all.

Pomme :yeah, you were right to hope :D

Bad :Yeah! I was right, to hope. Everything works out in the end.

Pomme :You know what, I won't lose hope either

I know she's strong, there's no way she wouldn't

have survived it :')

Bad :I'm sure she did. This is Baghera, I mean, I'm sure she's probably tearing that island apart looking for you right now, something tells me that's the case. I'm sure she's fine.

*Pomme puts down another 2 signs on the black concrete*

Bad :I'm sure she'll get it, Pomme. Just don't give up! Just don't give up hope, everything's gonna be ok.

Pomme :I won't :') I will never

Bad :Nice! Good! No matter what, you just can't give up hope. Sometimes it's all we have.

Pomme : There's a reason I named by raccoon like that, after all

That's why you should, yk, not eat it

(shenanigan ensues...)

[nerdyjournals]

Flowers have sad meanings too

Florist!Y/N

Many believe that working in a flower shop is all gumdrops and rainbows, but it's not. It's stories of heartbreak and sadness. I wish I could remember their names, but I can't grieve every one of them. No matter how hard I try.

Author's Note: 3/8 of these mini tales are based on encounters I have had while working in my field. They are INSPIRED and not exact.

DISCLAIMER: ANY SIMILARITIES THESE ENTRIES HAVE TO A PERSON, PLACE, EVENT, OR SITUATION IS COINCIDENTAL AND NOT INTENDED TO MIMIC ANYONE.

WARNING: THIS PIECE TOUCHES ON DEATH AND ITS AFFECTS, SUBJECTS OF DEPRESSION, AND ASSUMED SU1C1D3. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUBJECTS LIKE THESE, PLEASE SKIP THIS POST.

Boy #1

He was a boy with his whole life ahead of him. His mother said that he was very protective of his siblings, so protective that it's what took him.

She said it was a break in, one that happened in the dead of night. She never heard it. All she heard was the sound of her daughter screaming for help as her husband tackled the man to the floor. She didn't even hear the gun go off.

He was on his way to college in the fall, full ride. He was very talented. They hope to release his works down the road, but for now, some things stay locked away. Not because they're bad or sad, but because the grief was too fresh.

Boy #2

He was an interesting story. A quiet kid that everyone thought was mean, but was a very sweet guy and an only child. He loved animals.

His flowers were ordered by his friends because his parents were too shattered by the news. One of them couldn't keep it together, ended up telling about him. He was off volunteering to help build houses when one of them collapsed on top of him and a few others. They came out with minor injuries, but he wasn't so lucky. They spew out so many things about his kind heart but stone-like demeanor. It hurt to see that it was also his undoing.

Other families came and ordered, many of them being young kids in the dance classes he taught. Many of the kids still not understanding why their favorite teacher wasn't coming back. His parents finally arrived to order, but my heart was too fragile to be there.

Boy #3

His sister wouldn't stop talking about how he had wanted to do a lot with his life. She said that he was going to the gym everyday to get stronger. He was a gentle soul, a loving gentleman. Sickness took him far too soon.

It started off with a bad cough and a fever, she said. Then it just kept getting worse. By the time he was eighteen, he was fully living in his hospital room. It broke her heart to see how he dwindled away until he was almost nothing but skin and bones. She was thankful that he went in his sleep, going painlessly.

She couldn't stop repeating that she felt like a bad sister, that she should've done more to help him recover. It broke me a little more on the inside when I couldn't tell her that it wasn't up to her to fix him. I could only stay silent.

Boy #4

Only one person ordered him flowers, but it was a lot of flowers. Other than his parents, this boy received flowers from dozens of people. Friends, teachers, acquaintances - you name it. They all ordered through one person as they were the only one in town.

The pieces were extravagant, ranging from small vases to large sprays. They said that they wanted to reflect him; an artist surrounded by colors. No one knows what took him; whether self or sickness. They just found him in his studio one cold winter morning, slumped over an unfinished painting.

They said he'll have a gallery set up after the service, show off the wonders he created. I might go. If not just to see a fellow tortured soul. One day, his name will be known alongside the greats. For now, he'll be known to me.

Boy #5

His flowers were ordered over the phone by his mother, said something about it becoming too final if she stepped into the store.

I heard about this boy on the news. They found him in his car, just off the highway. He was so young, but the demons got to him before anyone else could.

I could only sit silent as she cried in my ear, blaming herself for not helping him. Little does she know the demons live in everyone. Including mine.

Boy #6

This boy was proof that the brightest smiles hide the darkest demons. His sisters couldn't hold themselves together as I flipped through the binder. The older one said that she blamed herself, saying that she should've seen the signs.

He went as he slept, passing in silence. She said that he had been bullied for years, but since he stopped talking about it, they assumed it stopped. They found him gone in the morning. I can never understand how some people find it acceptable to be so harsh to another.

They showed me his photo. He had a bright smile, one that was even wider with his family. It almost breaks my very soul that he suffered alone.

Boy #7

This was my first family order. The poor family was lost due to a faulty monoxide detector. The remaining members were in the middle of suing the landlord on top of mourning the family.

They didn't know until the son failed to show up for school for three days, unlike him they said. Same for the parents.

The boy was said to start high school next year. They were all excited since he would be attending the private school near the edge of town, one that was hard to get into without good grades. Now, the world could never see what he would amount to.

Boy #8

He was a child.

No mother should ever be allowed to outlive her baby. He was innocent, a victim of medical circumstance. They never said what he had, but they ordered him a beautiful urn display.

His younger brother, one still so small, would almost never know about the brother who left too early. His older brother was deployed, but is in an emergency flight back over to give his good byes.

A child...goodness.

[legitalicat]

Out of Time

Chapter 4 - "Eldest Son to Eldest Daughter"

an: I am so glad people are enjoying this story! I've been playing with this concept for nearly a year now. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much! I want to go ahead and put this out there. I have borderline personality disorder and quite a few other mental illnesses, so all of that influences relationships in my life, which is reflected a lot in this story. Also this is not canon Aegon. This is a version of Aegon that lives permanently in my head.

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series Master list here!

Summary: Being the eldest child of the Queen or King is a weight many did not understand. It is a weight that dictates her every choice, ruling her heart and mind. Aegon, understanding the feeling, gives her the gift of a connection she could not have with another person.

TW: Very blatant mental health struggles, Substance Use (I added 🍃 into this world cause it not being in there is unrealistic), talks of alcoholism, religious talk, mentions of injury, self image issues, bad parents, divorced parents, moon tea, Aegon is so in love with reader it makes me ache

Relationships: Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon!Reader, past Aegon Targaryen ii x Helaena Targaryen

Word count: 3.7k

When I woke up this morning, only to find Jace gone from my bed and a cup of moon tea on the table, all I wanted was to hide away from the world. But there was more to my life than just Jace and Aemond. I had others who loved me, who had missed me this entire time. With that in mind, I dressed for the day in a simple lilac colored dress, drank the tea in one quick gulp, and had Ser Erryk escort me to Helaena’s chambers.

Her and Aegon’s children were with him for the morning. With both of them still happily in the Red Keep, I suppose it made sharing their children’s time easier. Though I don’t believe there has been a situation such as this ever. Most marriages that ended in annulment happened because there weren’t children from my understanding. Though until now I had not known of anyone who had gotten an annulment.

“How did my mother grant the end of your marriage?” I couldn’t help but ask Helaena. We were working on our cross stitching together. It was an activity that soothed her and I was all the happier to make sure she was calm. “Doesn’t the Faith typically have to be in agreement? And I mean, you two had three children together, wouldn’t they just deny it?”

Helaena chuckled. “I often times forget how little you and your brothers paid mind to the teachings of the Seven,” she said to me.

Fair enough, I suppose. Technically speaking, we are followers of the Seven. Yet anyone with eyes knew that we only did it because we kind of had to. I don’t believe Mother or Laenor had any vested interest in their teachings. They certainly never passed anything on to us outside of the bare minimum. I know my father’s family believed in the Seven, but since he was never allowed to claim us, he had no right to teach us his beliefs. In truth I only knew anything about them from Alicent.

“So explain it to me as though I’m five,” I said, shrugging a bit.

“It is unholy to hold one in a marriage against their will. Aegon and I were so young when we were married, and it was done under the misguided notion that your mother and family may seek to squash any competition for the Throne, so it was not difficult to make a case for it to be an unlawful marriage. Though I do feel that Rhaenyra may have reminded the Septon that he can be and would be a delicious snack for Syrax should he not see reason,” she told me. The smile that played at her lips as she thought of it was enough to make me smile.

“And what is it you wish to do now?” I asked her.

“I am perfectly content to live my life here. I love my family, I love my home. Though I do wish my mother had bothered to ever understand me,” she explained.

My smile fell from my lips. Time changed many things but Helaena’s distance from Alicent didn’t seem to be one. It was unfortunate, truly, as Helaena was wonderful. She may be more into bugs than most people, she may have her dreams and episodes, but she was not mad. In fact when actually making an effort to know her, one could find she was the opposite.

I had always wished I could see the world Helaena does. The world that I live in is dark and dreary, a place where one loses any semblance of a father before they even understand how great they are. It is a place where most everyone prefers men over women, despite the women being capable and strong in their own right. The world I live in? It is not a place built for Helaena.

Yet the one she lives in? People are praised for what they have done. There is no consideration other than who truly is right and just. Even in the darkest moments in which her mother tried to keep her from being who she is, my mother always gave safe passage to her sweet sister. Helaena paid no mind to those who were insignificant unless they hurt her family or her bugs.

It Is not to say she is naïve. In fact, I would think she sees more truth than any of us. But being the third child, born after an eldest daughter and eldest son, is very different than being the eldest. She did not have to fight to prove she was worthy like Mother did. And she does not have to step away because she knows she would not be accepted over her brother as I do…

I was born approximately two hours before Jacaerys. A long time between twins as I’ve been told, but enough time there was no doubt about who came first. Truthfully to my mother I don’t think it mattered which of us was born before the other. We are twins and therefore she always gave us the choice.

She explained to me that her father had named her heir before he had any other living children and never looked back. Once Aegon was born, most expected Viserys to change his mind. But he remained steadfast in his decision, never caring if Mother still wanted it. To this day I don’t know if she did. As such, she wanted to make sure we always had a choice.

“You’re doing it again,” Helaena said softly.

When I looked to her, she nodded her head to my hands. I had been so completely lost in thought that I didn’t notice I had repeatedly pricked my fingers with the needle I was using. Blood seeped through the fabric in several dots scattered around.

“Sorry,” I muttered before sitting the cross stitch down. Standing, I walked over to the bowl of water that was kept for washing her hands and dunked my fingers in it a few times.

“Our mothers are planning a feast to celebrate your return,” she told me as I turned back around. “I think it will happen week’s end.”

Naturally. It seemed they always found a reason to celebrate me. On my name day, it was always me who got doted on. Jace got put in the shadows, not that he seemed to mind much though. When I claimed Vhaela, only a few weeks before I disappeared, it was a much brighter occasion than Aemond claiming Vhagar. When I returned to King’s Landing, it overshadowed the tourney being held for Aegon to celebrate his own name day.

It was never my Intention, truly. Those around me just deemed me important. I had never wanted to be the center of attention. All I wanted was to do right by my family. Never have I sought out great fortune or the throne for myself, though technically it should be mine by birth order. All I craved was love.

“Are you happy?” I asked her, trying to change the subject.

“Yes. Aegon is a wonderful father, but he could never love me. And I do not love him,” she told me.

Before I was given the chance to respond, the chamber doors opened. Helaena’s children ran to her. The twins, Jaehaera and Jaehaerys, were nearing twelve at this point. They looked it, too. If you were to ask me, Jaehaera looked like Alicent but with the typical Targaryen silver hair and violet eyes. Jaehaerys and Maelor, who was nearing eight, were carbon copies of Helaena. They had the same curl to their hair as she did, their noses equally as small and rounded.

As the three children excitedly talked about their morning, I quietly excused myself from the room. While she would never say anything, there was not a place for me with Helaena and her children by myself. Those kids don’t remember me, though I remember Helaena’s every letter describing them in their early years. For both pregnancies, there was not a movement they made inside her that did not warrant a letter to me. But that was then.

In the corridor, Aegon stood and spoke with Ser Erryk. Erryk had a twin too, named Arryk. From what I remembered, Arryk and Aegon were quite close, the former taking on the watching over of the latter once Aegon hit puberty.

“Beautiful kids,” I said to him, offering a small smile. When he looked to me and smiled, I couldn’t help but blush a deep red.

“Thankfully they take more after Helaena,” he said to me. He stepped closer to me, extending a hand to rest under my chin. I swallowed hard as he tilted my face around in the light. “You should perhaps be more careful.”

“I shall keep that in mind,” I said, unable to hide my chuckle.

“Where are you headed to? I could join you,” he suggested as he offered his arm to me to take, dropping his hand from my chin.

“I was just going to head back to my room. Truly, Aegon, there is no need to bother yourself,” I told him.

“My darling, there is never a bother when it comes to you.” His voice was light and airy, as though the words he spoke were just the most casual thing in the world. But there was a firmness to them that I truly believe only he could accomplish.

It wasn’t so much a demand. He was not like Aemond, demanding and sure of himself. He was not like Jace, either, in being soft and guiding always. Aegon was something entirely different.

He had always seemed arrogant. He was the first born son so it was natural that he grew into believing he deserved everything he wanted. But only when you spoke to him when everything else was quiet did you ever get the truth.

He had never been much more than a scared little boy. There were frequent talks of what he feared would happen when Viserys had died. He had always been scared his mother would try to force him to take the Throne. When he was betrothed to Helaena, he was scared he wouldn’t be good enough for her. He was scared that I would grow to hate him, completely ignoring that I could never hate him.

The closeness I shared with Aegon was something that bordered on secretive. While it wasn’t that we felt the need to hide, as there truly was never anything to hide, it was what made him comfortable. He would come to me late at night when he could not sleep. I think it is when he felt safest. Even when we were children he preferred the night.

It was in the night that he saw beauty in his life. He didn’t struggle as much then to resist drinking, which had always seemed backwards to me but he swore it. The pressures that were placed upon him from Otto and Alicent didn’t exist at night. The person he truly is was enough for the shadows of darkness.

Perhaps it is my own cockiness but I like to think I see a side to him that others don’t. When we were alone I got to hear him sing. I don’t think anyone else knew he liked to sing let alone how good he was at it. The first time he ever sang me a song that he had picked up in a tavern, tears sprang to my eyes. And when he isn’t drunk, he is quite smart. He knows politics even better than Aemond. He knows how to get people to like him and trust him, a rare commodity in this world.

And if Helaena says he is a wonderful father, I have no doubt about it. I remember him writing to me the first time Helaena was pregnant. He was so happy and excited, determined to be better to his children than Viserys ever had been to him. When I had come back to King’s Landing, while he still struggled with the drink, he was so devoted to making sure they didn’t see it.

“I would be glad to have you along,” I said, smiling at him. Though I didn’t take his arm. He merely nodded at me and followed me, allowing me to set the pace in which we walked.

As we walked, we walked in silence. Our footsteps echoed off the stone walls, the small ching and squeak of Ser Erryk’s armor followed behind us. I was perfectly comfortable.

We got to my room in just a few minutes as it wasn’t far from Helaena’s. Ser Erryk took his place beside my door. I gave him a small smile and nod before leading Aegon into my room.

He took a seat in a chair in front of the fireplace. He seemed like maybe he ran cold, always choosing to sit close to fires or walking around wrapped in a blanket. I was like that too, of course, much to the hatred of Jace when we shared a room still.

“I am happy to see you home, have you need of anything?” he asked me when I sat in the chair next to his.

“I merely wish there was something I could take for the pain that wasn’t milk of the poppy. The way it muddled your father’s mind has made me certain I will never use it,” I told him simply.

He nodded softly and reached his right hand up his left sleeve. “In case you have not been told, I want you to know I am sober now. Have not had a sip of wine since the night you disappeared,” he told me.

“Aeg, that’s amazing. I am so proud of you,” I said as my heart felt like it was going to burst.

Truly I don’t think he had ever stood a chance against being a drunkard. Mother told me a long time ago how Viserys was giving Aegon wine by his second nameday. I never could understand why Alicent was so okay with that, especially because for my entire life she had yelled at him for being drunk. Like the night Aemond lost his eye, Aegon got blamed for not protecting him because even at thirteen he went and got so drunk he passed out on the steps. How on earth did she go from so passively allowing him to drink when he was a baby to being so vile about his problem?

He looked at me, his face saddened for a split second before he grinned and pulled out a pouch. “The Grand Maester told me to use this. It’s hemp. Mostly used for creating things, building and whatnot. But someone at the Citadel found if you consume it, it gives you what they call a high. But it is gentler on the health than being drunk. I’m not sure the process but they cook it into butter and then can bake it into things.”

He opened the pouch and pulled out a biscuit the size of his palm. He split it in two and offered me half. It didn’t look abnormal or smell any different. The biscuit looked very appetizing though.

“Do I just eat it?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. But start slow. Too much at once and you’ll be completely incapacitated. Just a small bit should help your anguish, both physically and mentally,” he explained. “It will not be immediate like milk of the poppy. But it will be effective.”

Cautiously, I took a bite, eating on a quarter of my half. This was something I would never have done on my own. Yet Aegon had never truly steered me wrong, always seeming to have my best interests at heart.

After he took his own bite, eating a little more than I did, a silence fell between us as he just watched the flames. Aegon sometimes seemed like he wished that the world would open and swallow him whole. The way he would avoid looking at me, or anyone for that matter, spoke volumes about how uncomfortable he was even if nobody else realized it.

I remember once he told me that if he didn’t look at people he could convince himself they weren’t looking at him. When I tried to point out that wasn’t right he just put his hand over my mouth so that I couldn’t. It was that moment I realized how alike he and I are.

I escaped the duties of being Mother’s eldest child by pretending I wasn’t. Stepping aside so that Jace could be heir and acting as though I was okay with it was the biggest way I accomplished this. If I were honest, I wanted to be Queen, not Queen Consort. Hiding that fact from everyone, including my twin, repeatedly affirming his place as the next King essentially robbed me of a piece of my identity and forced me into a new one. One in which I was meant to stand by his side and have his children.

Aegon liked to hide from being the eldest son by pretending he didn’t exist. He didn’t just refuse those duties. He simply treated them as though they weren’t real. He used to disappear rather frequently for a few days at a time, only to be found in a tavern or a brothel and dragged back to the Keep. He had always been so drunk he never remembered his time there.

“I missed you,” he said quietly. “I know you never felt for me the way you did Jacaerys, or even Aemond. But you are probably the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

He didn’t look at me when he said it which made me wonder why he did. It seemed silly to me how badly I wanted him to look at me. My entire life I felt like I had been begging Aegon to look at me.

He was right, I never felt for him the way I did Jace or Aemond. But he was the first person that ever made me blush. He was the first person who I considered marrying for any reason. He was my first crush and I think that for a lot of people that was a pretty sacred role.

I wanted a dragon so badly because of his relationship to his own dragon, Sunfyre. I don’t remember exactly when they came together, only that Aegon claimed Sunfyre just as I claimed Vhaela. And they were a sight to see together, having potentially the strongest bond of any dragon and rider. I swear Aegon could be hundreds of leagues from Sunfyre, merely think of needing him, and Sunfyre would go there without a second thought.

There was also the fact that they were very beautiful together. Sunfyre was perhaps the most beautiful dragon to ever exist. His scales were a dazzling, glittering gold while his belly and wing membranes for a soft pink. When he stood tall, he looked like a perfect golden statue.

Aegon was the epitome of Targaryen beauty. His silver blonde hair was not as long as Aemond’s, but was chin length and began curling near the end. He had the classic Valyrian lilac eyes that sparkled in the firelight. He had a square jawline and lips fuller than Aemond’s. He was about five inches taller than me, and therefore Jace since he was my height, at about five foot ten, and just two inches shorter than Aemond.

He truly was a beautiful mixture of Jace and Aemond. His eyes, hair, and eyes were soft in such a way they drew me in. Yet his jawline was sharp like he was chiseled in stone. One could argue all the gods in the universe came together to create the perfect man in him.

I became very aware I was staring at his lips. My cheeks became hot as the blood rushed to them. He turned to look at me, a small goofy smile on his face when he saw me looking. It caused my cheeks to become even hotter.

“You’ve been staring for quite a while, how are you feeling?” he asked me.

“Fine,” I said as I shrugged.

My feet didn’t quite feel right though. Like they didn’t really exist but they do exist. He chuckled at something, I’m guessing my face, and I could feel a giggle bubbling up in my chest.

“Oh you feel it,” he told me, grinning.

“You’re pretty,” I whispered, leaning towards him. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Pretty?” he asked.

Slowly, I nodded. He was pretty. But not the way Mother or Helaena was pretty in an elegant and sophisticated way. He was the type of pretty like fire. One that was dangerous and wild, where I couldn’t quite guarantee I would make it out alive.

“You’re pretty, too,” he told me quietly.

I think he was the only one to ever call me pretty. Aemond called me beautiful and Jace called me perfect, yet never pretty. Except the times they called me pretty during sex, that is. Being pretty in the mundane was something special to me. It was like I was a flower or even a star.

He reached out and took my hand. We sat in silence for a while. There was no way I could tell how long we sat there, just looking at each other while saying nothing. It felt nice in a way I could not explain.

“My darling pretty girl,” he whispered, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. “How is your pain?”

“Better, thank you, Aegon,” I whispered.

My heart was light in my chest. It fluttered rapidly, my cheeks heating up once again. He was looking at me like I was precious to him.

He stood from the chair, moving to stand in front of me. The flutters turned to a steady pounding. It was beating in my ears loudly. Aegon didn’t say anything before he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of my nose, something that he had done when we were kids.

“I will ask the Maesters to prepare you the same biscuits. I do not like to think of you in pain,” he whispered to me. “And it may help if your thoughts get to be too much.”

Without saying another word, he took his leave. He walked out of the room, leaving me to sit alone with only my thoughts of him.

[severalforraelee]

Max’s Reaction: Prove It Short Story

Prompt: I was rereading Prove it for like the thousandth time and was wondering if you could do a blurb maybe of Max finding out about the labor! Like his reaction and rushing to get to you! And maybe some of Rowan's first like word and steps! I absolutely love your writing!!

Written by raelee / Posted Mar 19

Word count: 2,329

Masterlist

Formula 1 Masterlist

Prove It Masterlist

Max’s POV

I stare down at my phone screen, tapping it awake for what feels like the millionth time in the past five minutes. It shows my lockscreen, a picture I took of Y/N when she wasn’t looking because I knew that if she saw me taking it, she would yell at me. She’s looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, toothbrush halfway in her mouth with foam falling from her lips. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail, my Red Bull T-shirt falling to her mid-thigh and hugging the top of her baby bump. It’s her freshly woken in the morning getting ready for the day. I took this photo without her knowing because, In her words, she looks tired and gross in the morning. But it’s her, and that’s why I love it so much.

I’ve been trying not to contact Y/N every five minutes, knowing how exhausted she must be with the arrival of our son coming at any minute. But I feel anxious just from being away from her, despite it being for something as good as winning the Formula 1 Drivers World Championship. Hell, I’m even feeling exhausted from all of the worry.

“Max.”

I snap my head up at my PR officer’s irritated tone, giving her a sheepish look while she gives me an annoyed one.

“Did you hear anything that I just said to you?”

“No,” I admit.

She sighs, starting from the beginning. Truthfully, I don’t care what she’s saying. I don’t care what anyone’s saying to me. I just want to rush through everything that I have to unfortunately do after winning the second world championship before I can go home to my family.

Her sighing again snaps me out of my thoughts of holding my girl in my arms, and soon, my son.

“Max, you realize that the sooner you do this, the sooner that you can leave to go be with her?” She points out.

I nod, standing up to follow her to the filming room.

~

“Morning,” I sit down at the conference table, staring down at the hot coffee cup in my hands. I didn’t even add any sugar or creamer this morning, my mind completely preoccupied by the conversation that I had with Y/N last night.

I wish more than anything that I could be there with her. Hearing the anxiety in her voice as she asks when I’m coming home, reassuring me just to get my work done so that she doesn’t cause me any more anxiety than I’m already feeling makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel like a bad partner for even putting her in this situation, and a bad father for making my son’s mother feel so unsure.

I want her to feel valued. I want to be by her side, but it’s so hard when there’s so much pressure from everyone in the Formula 1 world. From fans to the crew at Red Bull racing to the FIA to other teams, everyone expects me to be celebrating right now. They’re expecting me to do media duties by day and celebratory duties, also known as getting wasted, by night. And I can’t help but give in to that pressure, not wanting to let down the tons of people relying on me.

“You’ve been awfully quiet over there, Maxie,” Christian calls across the table.

I swallow the lump in my throat, nodding. I open my mouth to speak before realizing just how dry my throat is, raising my coffee to my lips and taking a sip.

“Just wishing that I was with Y/N,” I confess.

Everyone at the table freezes at my words. They all know that the reason why I’ve been so calm about this championship as compared to my last one is because of the unknown delivery date of my son. But I’ve never really talked about it with anyone at Red Bull, wanting to keep such vulnerable emotions somewhat secretive.

Christian nods in understanding. He knows what it’s like to balance being a father and working in such a chaotic environment.

“Tell you what, let’s rush through what we have planned for today, get the things that we have to do tomorrow done today, then we can get you on a plane tonight and send you back to be with your missus?” He questions.

I nod in excitement, heart fluttering as he refers to Y/N as my missus.

Someday she will be.

My phone dings as the meeting comes to an end and I’m rising from the office chair.

“You know, we’ll get things done faster if you don’t have that to distract you all day,” my PR officer lets me know.

I pull it out of my pocket, handing it to her before rushing out the room without another word.

At the time, I was just so enthusiastic to start the media duties and other things that I have to do, wanting to get them done as quickly as possible, that I didn’t even think to check who was texting me or what it said.

If I did, I would’ve seen the first text of many that Y/N sent me. I would’ve turned around, ran out of the Red Bull complex, and gotten the hell out of Milton Keynes.

If I didn’t put so much pressure on myself to fulfill the duties of a world champion, I could’ve been there for the birth of my son.

It isn’t until I get my phone back half a day later- time slipping away from me without the device being on me and being hidden away in dark rooms for the media that I realize what happened.

“Hey, Max, Daniel walked in while I was having contractions and we’re on our way to the birthing center now. Call me back when you get this.” Her voice fills my ears as I ride the plane back to Italy to be with my family.

I wish I could fly this plane myself to get back there faster.

“I’ve been getting contractions about every- what did you say earlier, Daniel, every five minutes? Yeah, every five minutes, and contractions are lasting about a minute each. I’m five centimeters dilated. The predicted birth is in four to eight hours, so you still have time to get here.”

I listen to the one from Daniel next. “Hey, Max, Y/N’s in labor, as you probably know from the dozens of phone calls, texts, and voicemails that we’ve both left you,” he lets out a fake chuckle, “Funny story, Nurse Emma- you know Nurse Emma, right? She asked if the dad was going to be joining us for the birth and you know what I told her? I told her that he’s a-”I end that voicemail with a wince before it can get to the surely explicit part.

My fingers tremble as I click on the next voicemail. “This is the last time that I’m calling you, Max, if you wanted to be here by now you would be. The doctor just left to make sure everything is ready for our son’s arrival and when she gets back I’m going to start pushing. Hope getting media done was worth it.”

I just delete the one from Charles, already knowing that it’s not going to be a pleasant one to listen to. But I can’t blame him. I left one of his best friend’s and the mother of my child to go through one of the most traumatic and important moments of her life alone.

Well, she has Daniel with her, but if he wasn’t there- I shake my head, not wanting to go there.

I stare out the window, willing the plane to go faster. From the texts and calls, I know that she’s already had the baby. I wish I could be there with them both, holding and meeting my son and reassuring my partner that she did an amazing job.

And I’m sure she did, but I feel like shit for not even knowing that. I want to know all of the gritty details of the labor. I want to know if she needed any stitches, how loud our son cried when he came out, if he’s latching on properly.

But I’m the only one to blame for missing out on that experience.

I run through the hallways of the birthing center, wanting to get to her as fast as possible. The bouquet of red roses that my assistant greeted me as soon as I got off the plane to give to her is gripped tightly in my fist, the anxiety of seeing her reaction and holding our son for the first time causing me to hold them a little tighter than I’d prefer to.

Charles points at me as soon as I enter. “No.”

My eyes slide past him, focusing on her lying on the bed. She looks exhausted, hair messy and bags under her eyes but she’s never looked so beautiful. She looks so disheveled because she’s a mom. She’s a mom to our son.

Despite the clear anger and resentment in her eyes at the sight of me, I fall even more in love at the sight of her.

The guilt of not being there with them for the birth encourages me to work even harder to repair the relationship with Y/N and to spend more time bonding with Rowan. And it works, because I’m there for his first word.

As unfortunate as a first word it may be.

“Who am I, Rowan?” Charles holds the eleven month old baby in his arms, something that I’m already grumpy about. I can’t take him from Charles' arms, though, because he cries every time I try.

I hate this obsession-with-Uncle-Charles phase.

“Who am I?” He coos to the baby, bouncing him up and down in his arms in a playful action. “Am I Uncle Charles? Can you say Uncle Charles?”

“Cha,” Rowan cheers, clapping his hands in excitement at the attention from his uncle.

I freeze at his words. Y/N pauses her conversation with Carlos. Charles' face just- ugh, shows the arrogance of a man who’s name was the first word of a baby. Specifically his rival’s baby.

“Was that his first word?” Y/N questions, staring with wide eyes at Rowan as he stares back at his mom.

“No, Cha is not a word,” I immediately disagree, shaking my head.

Truthfully, I just don’t want my kid’s first word to be my rival’s name.

“Say it again, Rowan, say Charles,” Charles encourages, excitement lacing his tone.

“Cha,” Rowan repeats.

Carlos, Charles, and Y/N- then quickly after, Rowan, erupt into cheers, hollering at Rowan’s first official word.

“Good job, baby,” Y/N coos, leaning down to press kisses all over his face.

I suppose I’ll give Charles a win with this one.

And I’m there for his first steps.

As unfortunate as they may be, too.

“Little man’s not walking yet?” It’s one of the few times that Lewis and I actually get along. When we’re talking about Rowan.

“He’s working on it, he just gets so nervous,” I explain. We both watch as he pulls himself up on the chair in the hotel lobby, doing it with ease because of how often he does it at home.

“Come here, Rowan,” Lando grins, bending down and opening his arms for the thirteen month old to come to.

The blonde baby eyes him curiously, looking down at his feet, as if he’s wondering if they actually work.

“Don’t look at your feet, kid, that’ll sike you out,” Daniel advises, bending down beside Lando and opening his arms. “Come to Uncle Daniel.”

“Daniel, let me have this moment with him,” Lando whines.

“May I remind you-”Lando groans at the piece of information that Daniel loves to bring up every chance he gets. “He is named after me.”

“Just his middle name.”

“Still. He’s named after me.”

“Uh, guys?” Lewis’ tone cuts out the fight.

We all turn to see Rowan hobbling unsurely towards his uncles.

On two feet.

We erupt into cheers, startling the rest of the lobby.

“He just took his first steps,” Daniel informs everyone like a proud parent. The rest of the lobby erupts into cheers as well.

Rowan reaches Lando and the Brit pulls the little boy into his arms, rising to his feet and throwing him in the air playfully.

“Look at you go, mate.”

Rowan giggles at the compliment.

“Y/N,” I holler, looking around me to find my beautiful partner. “Y/N- wait, where is she?”

“Shit,” Daniel’s eyes are wide, “She’s still in that meeting.”

“Oh shit,” I rub my forehead in stress, “Okay, this never happened, okay? She will be so upset if she found out she missed his first steps. The next time she’s around and takes his first steps, we’re treating that as his first steps, got it?”

The three other drivers nod in agreement, knowing how momentous first steps are to a mother. Especially a first time mother.

Y/N exits the elevator, Carlos and Charles following her after their Ferrari meeting has ended.

An elderly woman stops in front of Y/N, patting her on the arm gently. “Congratulations on your son’s first steps.”

She leaves before we can say anything and Y/N stands there, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

“I missed his first steps?”

“No,” Charles cries from behind her, his face in his hands.

“Charles, are you- are you crying?” Daniel asks.

“I just can’t believe I missed his first steps. He should’ve been walking towards his favorite uncle.”

“He was walking towards his favorite uncle,” Lando chimes in, “He was walking towards me.”

“May I remind you,” Daniel interrupts, “He was named after me.”

Eye rolls and groans are heard around the group, Carlos even throwing a water bottle that hits him right in the nuts.

[cod-dump]

What if instead of Graves making pipe bombs with Soap he offers to teach him to drive a tank instead? But when he said "drive a tank" what he actually meant was: youtube. com/watch?v=lg2NjziqKAA (Deja Vu tank memes)

Price was lucky keeping Soap uninterested in tanks as long as he had. It was a giant weapon that made things go boom and somehow he managed to make sure Soap was completely uninterested. By this point he was sure Soap wouldn't finally grasp the destruction he could cause in one, especially since he made sure everyone in 141 didn't let him near them and acted like they were the most dreadful things on base.

Well... turns out he forgot to share that with his boyfriend. It never crossed his mind while they first started dating because he figured they probably wouldn't get that far into a relationship where they would be introducing each other to their teams/families. It definitely didn't cross his mind when Price was getting the third degree from every Shadow Graves had introduced him to. He didn't even think for a second that Graves and Soap would even get along.

Especially not with how rocky Graves meeting with Ghost and Gaz went (that was the most uncomfortable, awkward situation Price ever had been a part of). He expected things to go just as bad when he introduced Soap to Graves. He had silently begged Graves to try to get along with at least one of the boys before he left to let them attempt to bond. Price was sure by the time he returned that Soap would want nothing to do with Graves.

Well, he was wrong.

When he had returned, Graves and Soap were chatting enthusiastically, Soap having stars in his eyes. Price should've known that was a bad thing but he was so happy that one of the boys was getting along with his boyfriend. So, he let it be. Though Ghost and Gaz still glared at the man with the most evil/judgemental looks that Price had ever seen, they seemed to be lightening up. Especially since Soap liked Graves. If Soap liked him then they were bound to like him, too.

Price wished he saw the signs. He wished he picked up the hints. It was all there and yet he remained blind to it. Price could've prevented this but he was so stuck up on the possibility of his boys liking Graves that he had forgotten...

... forgotten that Graves as a personal tank.

Price was such a fool to think his American boyfriend wouldn't try showing off his giant, metal box with wheels that shot bombs out of it. God, he was such a fool. The destruction that was left on base that day reminded Price why he couldn't have nice things. The videos he kept finding of Soap drifting a fucking tank through the courtyard while the gun was swinging around the thing. Graves was having a fit and begging Price to not kill/leave him over this.

Price just sighed, looking to Graves, "You're probably Soap's favorite person on the face of the planet at the moment. I don't think he's going to let you go anywhere anytime soon."

Price had to put extra security on the tanks after that.

[la1n3ybaby]

it was so evil that this woman was never given a name, so fuck it. i gave her one.

sorry folks, this is a long one (but the last one!)

≿ ━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━ ≾

Istorae’s Story (James’s Mother)

Kalipo’s Story (Erik’s Mother)

Dracae’s Story (Sam’s Mother)

Aezera’s Story (Matthew’s Mother)

History:

Some people’s entire life will be plagued with tragedy. Nadyne was one of those people.

The first was when her parents died. She was only a child, and although her mother was a succubus, a race that was typically highly regarded in the Abyssal Plains, her father was a lowly shadow demon. Her mother engaged in sex work before Nadyne was born to make a living, as her parents had abandoned her young. Unfortunately, she was careless with one of her clients and became pregnant. They would be forced to marry to try to retain any semblance of social standing they had, resulting in an unplanned, unwanted marriage and an even more so unwanted child. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have to live with their misery for too long, as sickness would claim the both of them.

Nadyne would bounce around charitable houses for a few years until she outgrew the families who wanted to help a little girl, and only a little girl. As she reached adulthood, she tried to find reasonable jobs. Maid, bar keep, waitress, etc., but none of them stuck for one reason or another. It didn’t help that her parents past would start to catch up to her, either, as rumors began to spread about her mother the more Nadyne became known in the community. People that would previously be willing to provide her some kind of pity job would then turn her away for fear of being known for hiring the daughter of a whore.

Nadyne, left with no where else to turn, soon began hopelessly knocking on doors and begging for loose change in the hopes of gathering just enough to convince anyone to let her do some kind of work until she could get back on her feet. Luckily, she would find that in Brahm, a wealthy bachelor who had sympathy for Nadyne’s situation.

Brahm was so kind that he would offer her a job being his personal maid, though he would often be gone for days at a time with his business. Nadyne stayed in his home, happily doing just that for many months. The money was flowing and she had a warm meal and bed every night. It didn’t hurt that the man she lived with wasn’t bad looking, either. In fact, she often found herself staring at Brahm while he was working at home or inspecting the pictures of him around the house while cleaning for long periods of time before she reminded herself that being his maid was a privilege she could easily loose. She would shake the thoughts from her head before they could go any further than admiration.

However, it was difficult to ignore her host staring at her for a bit longer than usual while she was cleaning. Or when he would ask her to simply sit in the room with him while he read, though Nadyne didn’t know how to read along with him. At first, she would brush it off as him just being polite to his guest, but as touches lingered longer and faces grew a bit redder, she started to doubt whether or not she was the only one who sensed something special between them.

All this would come to a head one day when Nadyne was cleaning Brahm’s library. She was fascinated with all the books he had collected and began to wish she had the ability to read them all. Brahm, sensing the wanting in her heart, offered to teach her. They began lessons often, with Brahm starting her with simple books made for children of nobility. It was difficult teaching an adult to read verses a child, but he managed and even enjoyed doing so. The two became very close during this time, so close that when Nadyne began experiencing withdrawals from the lack of energy she was receiving, Brahm’s would provide for her. She felt immense guilt for this, but the man reassured her that he didn’t mind doing so and even enjoyed it.

Their life together became much more than it started as. Nadyne was no longer his maid, but his companion, waiting for him to come home when he left for work and feeling warmth envelop her when he returned. Even when Brahm was made aware of the reputation she had, he never judged her. Truly, they loved each other, despite what society told them they should think.

The second tragedy of Nadyne’s life would not be far behind this. Brahm would leave for a work trip one day, claiming to only be gone for three or four days, like usual. Nadyne would wait on him patiently. Soon, three days passed, then four, then a week, and she began to worry. Two weeks later, she would receive word that Brahm had died in an accident and she was to vacate the property immediately so his family could collect his belongings. Brahm had not had the foresight to leave anything in his will to Nadyne, as he had not expected to die so soon. With no where to go, she left the house, heartbroken and mourning the loss of her first and only love.

But life, unforgiving as always, had not forgotten who she was while she was gone. No one would hire the whore’s daughter, no matter how much her life had changed in the year she lived with Brahm. She would soon be left with no choice but to follow in her mother’s footsteps. She hated every second she spent with a man who wasn’t Brahm, but with him gone, she felt that living had no meaning regardless.

Though she tried, Nadyne couldn’t remember how exactly she became involved with The Demon Lord. That time in her life was so dark, she felt as if the tides of time moved around her instead of her with them. She could recall The Demon Lord calling upon her to become his concubine vaguely, but she had refused him. How did she become stuck in his palace, chained to a cell, bearing his child? The woman was so detached from reality that she could barely remember her left from her right. All she could think about day and night was how she wished to be with Brahm instead of where she was now.

Truthfully, though she could barely admit it to even herself for so long, Nadyne blamed Izroul for keeping her trapped to The Demon Lord. She tried so hard to love him like a mother should, but she couldn’t. When he would cry at night, just born and terrified at simply being alive, she would hold her ears shut and wish for him to just go away. She could not pretend to comfort him and shush him back to sleep, for every time she looked at her son, she saw the man who ruined what was left of her life.

When he grew older, Nadyne learned how to pretend. She would recite stories to him of times in her life she could remember and even heal his wounds that he would garner from being outside her cell, and in return, he would tell her what the palace was like. She had never seen it up close, and honestly never wished to, but Izroul would tell her anyway in the hopes that it would make his mother just a little happier to know that life was happening outside her concrete room. As he aged, Nadyne began to see the boy as a little more than a pet to keep her entertained between abuse. She would never be able to see him as her child, but he would not need to know that.

The third tragedy to befall Nadyne was the day Izroul gained his mind-reading abilities. At first, the boy enjoyed being able to read other’s minds. It was overwhelming at times, sure, but the faces people would make when he told them what they were thinking of had the same feeling as a magic trick to him. To Nadyne, though, the love she began to have for him dwindled faster than it could ever have been built. The break she would get between The Demon Lord’s abuse of her body soon became time for her son to abuse her mind. The last thing that she had for herself became his and he left her with nothing.

The last tragedy is one you already know. Although what she planned was awful, Nadyne was so lost in the world that she couldn’t care. She had no one. Not her parents, or Brahm, or even her own spawn. Everyone in her life had either left or abused her and she needed a way out. When even murdering the last man to hurt her failed, what else would be left for her if she just went back to her cell and stayed there? In the end, when Nadyne turned the knife on herself in front of Izroul, she could barely even remember who he was to her. The last thing she saw when she died was Brahm’s face finally telling her that it was over. No more tragedy could touch her now.

Appearance:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "ghosting*" my friend?

I (27f) have known this one online friend of mine (27m) for over 15 years, give or take. When we met we quickly became fast friends and we only grew closer from there. About 11 years ago I lost contact with them due to something happening to the site we met and talked on. We had no other means of communication and finding an alternative site wasn't something either of us thought about. I always thought about him and hoped he was doing okay.

Fast forward to about 4 years ago when I got a message from someone saying it was him. We started talking again and it was like we never lost contact. In fact, we were even closer than before. He started referring to me as his family/sister.

We talked about how, out of all the friends we made on that site, we were the only two still in contact. It was something we bonded over. We talked about how both of our life situations make it difficult to find and keep friends and how we were both grateful to have each other in our lives again. It was something we bonded over. I came out as aroace and talked about how I feared people around me leaving me behind once they got into a relationship because I wasn't as important to them anymore. He was one of the first people I came out to and was accepted by. Even though he wasn't aroace and was in a relationship, he said he somewhat understood what it was like to be abandoned in a situation like that. It was something we bonded over.

We never met in person but we had plans to. We always talked about it. We were close. We were each other's best friends, so I thought.

Imagine my surprise when I got a message from him out of the blue a few months ago saying that he was sorry but that he was going to have to start dedicating more time to his partner/SO because his abusive and toxic partner/SO** (his own words and description of partner/SO - not mine) was becoming increasingly more abusive/toxic*** and that he wouldn't be able to respond much anymore and to not feel bad because he was having to do this to other people too, not just me.

I'm not in a relationship, I'll never be in a relationship, therefore I don't know what it's like to be in one. I'll never know what that kind of romantic bond is like. Maybe it's normal to choose a partner/SO over a friend?

But I do know that it hurt reading that message. Still hurts. At the time I couldn't really think clearly so I cried for a bit then left then one last message on Discord about how I was sorry things turned out this way and that I wished things would have been different. How I wished both of our home situations were different - better - but that I couldn't do it anymore. I wished him the best and then removed him off my friend list and left the conversation before he could respond. I don't know if he ever saw it or not. He did try to add me back a few days after that but I declined it and haven't seen him send me another one or contact me on another site since.

I eventually got over it and only now started thinking about it again because I happened to go on another site that I haven't been on in years and saw a message from before we got in contact again about how much he missed me.

A part of me wants to try and reach out again because I feel bad for never giving them a chance to respond to my last message but the other part knows I'll probably just end up getting hurt again.

(*I'm not sure if I'm using this term properly?)

(**I feel like it's not my place to disclose this but I also feel as if it wasn't for that we'd still be friends? Or maybe I'm just delusional.)

(***I wasn't friends with partner/SO and I doubt partner/SO even knows I existed since I was only ever an online friend so I don't think having friends was the cause of partner/SO getting worse. I can only speculate though because I didn't know the full situation. I tried to tell friend to leave multiple times if it truly was as bad as he claimed but he said he was fine. There was nothing I could do to help beyond that unfortunately.)

What are these acronyms?

[arxxq]

"TREAT MY DAUGHTER/SON LIKE THE PRINCE/PRINCESS THEY ARE.." ♡

"I'm way ahead of that sir...I've already treated more than that"

≡;- ꒰ Where Mikage Reo meets his lover's family lovely family꒱

ׂׂૢWhat could go wrong right? [PURE FLUFF] [WRITING ON MY TABLET] [MISTAKES WILL BE FIXED LATER ON] [IF I ACCIDENTALLY DID SMTH WRONG WITH THE PRONOUNCE I APOLOGISE]

A/N: its been a while, sorry its just my pre exam or smth has been bothering me but I'm doing good so far, I hope you enjoy this :) I'm sorry if its bad I'm getting rusty

Mikage Reo, a rich boy who loved you so much. He loved you alot because well you never saw him for his money but you loved him for who he is. The boy loves you so much that sometimes he wish he didn't have to leave your side. He loved how you supported him for every decision he makes and that includes his dream in football.

You see you loved him too, yes you absolutely did but there was a slight problem. Although you have been in a relationship with him for so long now...you never told your parents nor anyone in the family and well you never told him how well known you were actually. But you're glad that Reo never cared of so.

Now back to original topic, you absolutely avoid talking about relationships with your parents. Why you ask? Well your parents are okay their absolutely the best but your father, he well isn't the best to talk to when it comes to romantic situations. After all your mother and him fell in love due to an arranged marriage.

Your father is also quite over protective of you. You don't mind but it can be a bit embarrassing from time to time. He still sees you as the princess/prince he raised from when you are little.

Your mother meanwhile, she's great to talk to about these but you know she won't be able to keep it in from the family, she would most likely be the one to tell everyone and your father would look at you dead in the eye.

Your brother? Nah he is not the best person to tell it too, man you would probably die from his teasings and you will never get the end of it. Lastly your sister. No absolutely not. That sounds like an even worser nightmare. Your sister is just as overprotective as your father and knowing her she'd probably some sort of loyalty test by trying flirt.

So yes, no one in the household was there for you to tell this too...well maybe there was. Your personal maid. She was the person you told everything and she even suggested you that you should probably just ask them and well you were quite hesitant but you did it. It went sort of like...

[FLASHBACK]

Everyone were just eating on the dinner table as normal and well it was very very awkward. There was nothing but silence and well you were intimidated and you were thinking to tell it another day until your maid interrupted.

"Uhm madam I'm sorry to interrupt but I think your son/daughter has something to tell you all," everyone looked at you now and you were starting to get anxious since your brother was smirking, your father and sister had a confused face and your mother looked well delighted as always.

"Really..Why didn't you say that earlier honey?" Your mom asked and you sighed. "Sorry mother..but I'll just get to the point," you apologised. You are completely frightened but you knew you can't keep it for too long. "I'm in a relationship with someone and I'd like you all to meet him.."

The sound of your mother's fork dropped and the way you can feel your father and sister's eyes practically piercing into you soul. Your brother meanwhile kept cooing "oooo"

"Sure love we'd love to see him right (d/n).." now there's a thing about your mother, she may seem sweet but everyone has a dark side and currently your mother was giving the face that says "you better say yes"

Your father sighs in defeat. "Fine..we'd love to meet him at 7.00pm sharp tomorrow right in the living room,"

Based on his tone it was not going to go well.

[BACK TO THE PRESENT]

You were now pacing back and forth in the kitchen of your house that is until you heard the doorbell. You wonder who it could be afterall it is still 6.30pm in the evening and Reo wasn't supposed to be here till 7.

You opened the door and it was none other than your beloved. "Reo...you're early," you were mesmerised, you told him he didn't have to wear such formal attire but he did and he looked absolutely beautiful. Reo chuckled. "You like what you see love?"

"Like it? No I love it dear, I'm so glad you're here," "well I knew you would like it if I came early than told..heh,"

So for the whole 30 minutes you and reo managed to spend it together alone. It was now 7.00, your mother entered the house along with your father and your mother was absolutely surprised.

"My my you must be our prince(ss) lover, you came very early early than told I'm sorry if we kept you waiting !"

《TIMESKIP》

Sadly your brother couldn't make it so it was just you, your sister, your father and mother. While you can't help but notice that your mom had already loved reo so much so you weren't worried about her but your sister and father it wasn't going to well.

"Mikage reo..as in the heir of the mikage corporation?" Your sister added on. Reo looked at her and smiled. "Yes ma'am,"

Your father than joined the conversation. "That doesn't but what matters is that is that have you treat my daughter/son like the Prince/Princess they are?"

This question stunned everyone in the dinner table but reo seem unfazed by it an laughed and you were really scared. "Are you mocking me young sir?"

"No no not at all, with all due respect sir I have never treated them in that way," your father was about to burst out but reo continued. "Wait before you get mad you should let me finish, that's quite impolite you know.."

"I've never had the need to treat them like you say so because..."

"I've already treated them like a Queen/King they deserved to be."

You were absolutely shocked with his response and you weren't the only one. Your father looked speechless along with your mother and sister.

"I had doubts but I guess I was wrong...what do you think father...do you accept it?" Your sister questioned. You held in a breathe very afraid. "I approved of this relationship...from now own I trust that you will treat her right like no man will ever do so, not even me her own father could do so.."

And you burst into joy while embracing reo in a hug full of joy and relieve. "See I told you didn't I..I goy it all under control" he whispered..softly.

This was one of the happiest moment's of your life especially since it was with the love of your life.

Reblogs are highly appreciated

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All works of Arxx/Hasinah