#i wish i could threaten my manager to quit if i didnt get a better salary
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i hate being paid minimum wage i want to quit so fucking bad but no job is worse than minimum wage job. fucking nightmare
#i wont work for a month already so i cant even afford to call out#im covering someone's shift also so it would be. an asshole move#but im so fuckig tired.im so tired#and im so young. i should be out there taking a walk#''i like to play and draw'' ass post#im not even that young whatever ill be fine#i just wish i had a better wage bc i like the job itself. sigh#i wish i could threaten my manager to quit if i didnt get a better salary#but im so disposable it doesnt even matter#i hate capitalism
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may i be frank with u. im not going to kill myself over a job at this point in my life thats way too much of a waste itd have to be over something way cooler. and i have packages coming. (processing thru it bc no one irl has been helpful ->)
i dont Want to quit. and i still think im being stupid over this but also i just have to accept that i have fragile mental health and i will be stupid over things and i do not want to spend a single more shift in tears thinking about killing myself in horrible stressed stomach pain. but i really dont want to quit and it would throw quite a lot of things into disarray if i did i think and what im saying is instead it started morphing over the shift into power fantasies of i threaten to quit and in return i never have to work with her again. lol. or i go to work tomorrow and tell her to be nicies to me or ill walk out <3 like what are my options here to get out of Despairsville. could be really funny.
i dont waaaaant to quit i like this job i thought things were about to get better i Do not know why she seems so mad at Me Only except that shes always p much tolerated me more than enjoyed my presence which is fine lol but if her being in a bad mood at any point means that ill suddenly get downgraded for however long she feels like it to Useless Annoying Employee in her mind which is objectively false then. i feel like. im correct to not want to tolerate that? why stay at a job where im actively disliked? why shoulder all the fucking responsibility of being a manager and none of the trust
like she was even the one about to quit way before bc store manager was disrespectful to her and was telling me we can always get better jobs anywhere. which i was fully in support of. bc its true. throw a dart blindfolded and hit a better paying job probably too lol. but i dont waaant tooooo i like this job u_____u
and i think about telling store manager how close i am to walking out so as not to blindside her n give her a chance to problem solve b4 its too late and having to explain why im at this point and i. cant. explain why nothing outwardly rude in her behavior is hitting me so badly. and i dont know what she can even do about it. and she talks today abt so many weeks-in-the-future work plans/i hear about so many annoying corporate changes coming up and im like hm. but what if i just didnt come back tomorrow. i have to train someone on thursday lol i heard her tell the new hire yeah we have a great team we never have drama...........
idk i dont want to flame out its gonna risk giving me a complex about my employability after finally getting over my first one it just feels like a backslide in my progress u__________u and also i do not fucking want to job hunt. but also. i have several months of savings and itd be so much easier to job hunt without. having a job. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh i feel like i will always live Precariously which worries me...................... i also wish making this decision didnt feel so much like. jump out a plane w no parachute hope for the best. i hate. i hate i hate i hate i hate being independent i hate having no safety net i hate my available safety nets risking making me suicidal for realsies which makes me feel like i need to tough it out so i can (save more money/pay off more debt/leave on a better note for better reference for better stupid job) to be in a more stable position. i hate planet earth 2023 (<- DEFINITELY catastrophizing. whatever ill get over it)
also i promised to tell bestie if i start looking for jobs so he can jump ship too lol. but also i want things to get better for him i want them to treat him more niceys and i want to hold out long enough to see if it does. rather than quit suddenly and make things chaotic bc he'll definitely get shafted in that.
BUT. thru all this. well it is comforting to know that at literally any point things get too much i can go fuck you, heres my keys, bye forever, good fucking luck tonight. my ooooooollllllll' faithful. fucking Giving Up. tuesday!!!! <- brought it back around
Cry in my car tuesday đđđ
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roommate!heeseung pt. 1
pairing: roommate!heeseung x female reader
genre: mini fic(?), fluff, comedy, tiny angst(one little sad part)
warnings: cursing!!!Â
word count: 4.3k
description: i guess you just didnt realize you were in love with your roommate...... who has a girlfriend
ââââ
âow!â
you had just hit heeseung over the head after he said he would burn all of your plushies
your Precious. Plushies
hell no youâve been collecting these since you were 11 no way in hell heeseung would threaten ur babies
you rolled your eyes and started to walk to the kitchen to get a snack
stupid heeseung
hes always saying stupid shitđ
before you walked out though you noticed the look on his face
like he was contemplating something
ây/n... can you do me a favor?â he nervously uttered out before you walked out his door
â....what kind..?â you furrowed your brows
why was he being so cryptic
âuhh i need you to get flowers and chocolates for me from stacys....â
STACYS?????????
stacys was this fancy store 45 MINUTES AWAY..
âur fucking serious?â you deadpanned
this was something new
in all your 8 months of living with him he had never asked you of a favor this big
for context.., you had moved to this city apartment for college 8 months ago but you couldnât afford it without a roommate
but luckily you overheard a certain boy praying for an apartment while you were on campus
and you guessed it!!! it was heeseung
you two clicked easily and you were very thankful he was your roommate
after 4 months of living together he told you he got a girlfriend
you didnt really know about his campus life since you didnt have classes together and you never saw him walking around
you dont know why you were surprised when he told you... i mean have u seem Him.....
but nonetheless
u were like âOmg heeseung!!! thats great<3â like the supportive friend u were
yeah and that was that
you didnt meet the girl until another month later
Now that..... that was an experience......
FLASHBACK WHOOSH
*knock knock knock*
who tha hell was knocking at 7 in the morning.........
you staggered your way over to the front door with your matching hello kitty pajamas
and u open the door to see a blonde Lady who looks around your age
Why did u forget to look thru the little peephole in the door...... ur probably just tired whatever
anyways ur like
âuhm....â
and shes like
â? who are you.?â
and ur like
??!!?[\^âŹ]���\ÂĽ,_[+{*}*
âi live here....â
and shes like
â?...? oh sorry i thought my boyfriend lived here..â
and ur both just standing there like ;-;
shes all dressed up and u look like a childs room threw up on u
And thats when it hit u
âOHâ
âare you heeseungs girlfriend?!!???â your hand raises up to point at her unconsciously
â yes.. i amâ she looked so lost it was so funny
âoh then you have the right place im sorry! hes my roommateâ you scurry back into the apartment, gesturing for her to come in and close the door behind her
âwhat? he didnt tell me had a roommate..â
poor girl đđđ
you quite literally pounce into heeseungs room and smack him while shes still standing outside awkwardly in the living room
âfucking idiotâ smack to the face
âwake upâ smack to the chest
âheeseung i swear to godâ you shake his head
âare you fucking dead???? wake up!!!!â you pinch his ears really hard
that woke him up
âOw ow ow ow OWWW y/n what the hell???â his eyes are forced open but theyre squinted due to the sunlight
âyour girlfriend is hereâ you whisper-yell at him
âwhat???â he sat up so quickly you almost laughed
you were 90% sure she heard everything
oh well
his problem
he just stares into space for a second before his eyes go wide
ur just sitting on his bed waiting for him to do something like Uhhh
âshit i planned a date today oh my godâ he jumped up from his bed and hastily told you to âstay putâ before throwing on a hoodie, walking to see his girlfriend, and slamming his bedroom door leaving u sat on his bed
yes u were nosy Muahahahahah
so u pressed ur ear against the door to listen to their conversation
âsora, im so sorry i slept in late i promise ill make it up to you please baby dont be madâ
you had to stifle your laughter with your hand
God this was gold
âheeseung why didnt you tell me you lived with a girl.â
oooooooh hes in trouble you laugh to yourself
âah about that.. im sorry i didnt tell you.. dont worry though, you know i only like you! shes just my roommateâ
ouch
Why did that hurt đŞ
âwhatever heeseung.. ill call you laterâ and then you heard the door slam
already???? you were ready to get ur popcorn :///
you didnt even notice it had been a while before the door opened with you still leaning on it
boom u fell on the floor
âowâ
âshut upâ he said before jumping face down on his bed
you stand up to lean against his door again, staring pitifully at the boy
âyou okay?â you cross your arms
âmmmâ he mumbles into his pillow
âyou know i think i deserve a treat for being woken up at 7am on a sunday by your little girlfriendâ
âlittle? shes taller than youâ he turned around to lay on his back and chuckle
âoh so youâre making jokes right now when your girlfriend might break up with you?â you glare at him
âshes not gonna break up with me over something this littleâ he rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from his nightstand
âyou know youâre a little piece of shit heeseung!â you yell out to him after you walked out of his room
âhow?!â he yelled back
âtreat your girlfriend better!â
he kept his mouth shut after that
yeah you two didnt talk for the rest of the day because he stayed in his room sulking or whatever
fast forward to now
Right after he asked u to get him the chocolates and flowers
âplease y/n, sora is gonna be here in 2 hours and i need to get everything ready and i dont have enough time to do everythingâ he begged
WITH THOSE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES OF HIS GOD
âdo you really need them from stacys though???â you whined
he just huffed and glared at you âyes! sora only likes them from there.â
ânuh uh mister dont give me that lookâ you narrow your eyes at him
he immediately stops his glare and tries to look neutral
it almost made you laugh
you just looked at him for a few seconds before giving up
âfine. but what am i getting in return?â
his eyes lit up and traveled up as he was in thought
âhmmm ill buy you food whenever you want for a monthâ
Wow
âwoah thats more than i bargained for but deal!â he didnt realize that until after you shook his hand, very enthusiastically might i add
Lol
so now you were on your way home with the MASSIVE bouquet of roses and beautifully wrapped chocolates sitting nice and snug in the passenger seat of your car
these two things costed $115
oh well its heeseungs money not yours
you found it amusing because heeseung was nowhere near rich so where was he finding this money to blow
over an hour later and ur finally back home
u open the door
u struggled very much btw
almost dropped everything haha
but woah......
your eyes widened and your mouth fell open
âheeseung? you didnât tell me you two were having the date here..â
as soon as you walked in you smelled a pretty scent and the lighting was dim
it was beautiful
there were candles lit on every surface
rose petals were scattered messily everywhere
the two seater dining table was topped with elegant decor
there was quiet jazz music playing from his speaker
the familiar aroma of your favorite food hit you
standing there in your apartment didnt feel real
it felt like you were in a dream
you couldnt believe your apartment could turn into room from a fairytale
you were never one to be into disney princesses and fantasies
but for the first time ever you almost wished for a prince charming yourself
you almost got lost in a trance
and then....
the boy himself walked out
donned in an all black suit with a sliver of the white undershirt peeking underneath and the white tie
his bangs were covering his forehead and you noticed he styled them to be wavy
he had his earrings in and rings were present on 3 of his fingers
he looked absolutely dazzling
you dont know how or why.. but your heart began to race
why did this feel like it was for you...?
you wanted to be his disney princess
staring at him wistfully, it felt like time had stopped
âoh thanks y/n, i almost thought you ditched meâ he chuckled quickly
he was frantic and out of breath as he snatched the things out of your hand
âright!â he began as he sped around the room setting everything up
âim sorry but i forgot to ask if you could leave for today. im such an idiot, im sorry y/n.. you can stay at a friends house or something for the night?â he didnt even look at you as he perfected the chocolates on the counter and the plates on the table
you couldnt help but notice your heart clench and your stomach twist at his words
you were still glued to your spot infront of the door
âo-oh! yeah, okay thats fine ill get my stuff nowâ you scurry to your room
you speedily threw some clothes and necessities in a bag before walking back to him
âhey..â
he didnt look at you
âhellooooâ
âheeseungâ you poke him
he finally turned to you
âsorry what?â he gazed down at you with big eyes
âits okay.. just wanted to let you know im leaving nowâ you give him a small smile
âoh right! thank you y/n againâ he grinned
his pretty smile
âyou look great by the way... have funâ you manage to say before slipping out the door
you didnt let him reply back because if you stayed in there a second longer you think you wouldâve fallen in love with him
where did these feelings come from...?
you smack yourself on your forehead as youre walking down the steps to your car
ur probably just feeling like this because no man has ever done anything like that for u
and seeing it in real life made u want a bf đđ
yeah... thats it
so now ur at sunoos house
a close friend from your finance class
he lives in his parents house but theyre never home so he basically owns the place and doesnât have to pay for it
Yeah u kinda envy the boy
but you love him because hes great
ây/n ..do you like him????â sunoo gasps
you guys are watching tangled for the 10th time and you were explaining what happened back at your apartment
âwhat? where did you get that from?â you snort, your eyes still focused on the movie
you could literally feel his eyes piercing into your soul with that stare
âthe way you were telling me that story.... you sounded a bit jealous if i do say so myself..â he raises his eyebrow and leans back into the couch
âi do not like heeseung, sunooâ your eyes roll and you turn to look at him finally
he has a little smirk as he looks at u suspiciously
âhmmm okay, i get itâ he raises his arms in defense and surrenders âyou donât wanna talk about itâ
you scoff and laugh at his actions âyouâre so annoyingâ
so ..*time skip* lol
you slept at sunoos for the night
it wasnt anything new bc u used to stay at his alot while u were in the process of moving into your apartment
one of his guest rooms is practically urs bc u have some decorations and spare clothes there :P
when you woke up that sunday morning you realized you forgot to set an alarm
so now its like 11am
well its not like you needed to be home so you shrugged it off
âmorningâ u said to sunoo when u saw him sitting on the couch watching wreck it ralph
boy loves his movies
âwhen are you going home?â
âwow rude.... not even a good morning back??â you found him amusing
âsorry, good morning. when are you going homeâ he turned his head to look at you
it made you laugh
Sunoo is so funny u love him
âdo u wanna get rid of me that bad??? i hate youâ
âni-ki and jungwon are coming over today and i dont want you smothering them like you always doâ he playfully glares at you
NI-KI AND JUNGWON???!!!??!!!!!!
âMY BABIES????â you exclaim and jump on the couch next to sunoo
âyesâ he exasperatingly says
ânow leave before they get hereâ
âWHAT?? no im staying because i wanna see themâ
âNO!!!! now get out of my house y/nâ
âwhy not?!!???! sunoo please i bet they miss me so muchâ
ây/n please.. they do NOT miss youâ
âthey literally do i always make them cookies and theyre like y/n ur so cool we love youâ
âu mustve been hallucinating....â
âsunoo please please please i dont wanna go homeâ u tried to muster up the cutest puppy dog eyes ever
he looked at your face for a moment
âno u look uglyâ
âYOUâRE SO ANNOYINGâ you push him
âtheyre coming back tomorrow you can come then! today is boys nightâ
âboys night?â you snort âwhat the fuck are u kids gonna do that i cant be around for?â
âSHUT UP Y/N get out of my house!â he just starts to drag you out of his house himself
âow oW OKAY fine ill leave... have fun doing.. whatever youâre gonna doâ you grab your bag and start to head for the door
sunoo slams the door in ur face after he says âbye dont come back pleaseâ đđđ
âasshole!â u yell to him thru the door
you just huff and stand on his porch for a second
you wonder if heeseung still has his girlfriend over and decide to text him
y/nđŚ§: hi can i come back home
welp
now ur sitting on sunoos porch waiting for a reply
10Â minutes pass while ur scrolling on your phone and still no reply
you look up when you hear the front door open
âwhy are you still here?â sunoo frowns at you
âheeseung didnt answer my text and i dont wanna go back if his girlfriend is still thereâ you reply
âgo home y/n plz.... i lied jungwon and ni-ki arent coming over.. my grandparents areâ he tries to shoo you away
âwhy would you lie about thatâ you laugh
âtheyre really mean! but you can come back tomorrow because the boys are actually gonna be here.. now go because my grumpy grandparents are gonna be here in like 5 minutesâ he guides your shoulders down his porch
âugh.. if his girlfriend is still there its your faultâ you pout
âwha- how is that my- whatever y/n go home!!!â
when you drive off you dramatically wave your hand to him trying to show how desperately you did not wanna go home
sunoo just giggles and runs back inside
you drove home extra slow Lol
and now you were at the door contemplating whether or not you just make a run for it
but u said fuck it because u missed the comforts of ur own room
well u knocked a little before unlocking the door
how embarrassing to be knocking on the door of ur own home đ
you didnt get an immediate answer so u just stood outside in the apartment hallway....waiting....
after waiting for like 30 seconds (because ur impatient) you knock again
well i tried to be nice you thought
you finally gave up and unlocked the door with your keys, kind of slowly opening the door to peek in
hmmm.... nothing
the sun was emitting some rays of light through one of the windows but none of the lights were on
and why was there food still on the table..?
you were kind of afraid to go see heeseungÂ
but
you did notice one thing
there wasnât a pair of shoes u didnt recognize sitting on the rack by the doorÂ
so... is his girlfriend not here or did she bring her shoes to his room lol..
âhello?â you unconfidently called out to nobody in particular
no answer
you slipped your shoes off quietly and tiptoed towards the hallway that included both of your rooms across from eachother
the kitchen and living room looked untouchedÂ
to describe u being confused would be an understatement
you set your bag down on your bed and then made your way to heeseung.. just to check on him
you were genuinely so confused rn
you thought they would be cuddling on the couch or talking in his room or something but it was dead silent throughout the house
âheeseung?â you soft knocked on the door of his bedroom
surely he couldnt still be asleep.. it was noon on a monday and heeseung would normally be up by 10 because he said he would âstart being a more productive manâ as he said it
you always laughed at him because he used to wake up at like 3pm on days he didnt have class
anyways you didnt get an answer which was slightly concerning because you didnt forget to take note that you saw his car in the parking garage when you arrived
âiâm coming inâ you called out to him before twisting the knob and pushing the door open
you realized you might be crossing a line and heâd get upset at you for invading his privacy but you were honestly worried for your friend
at first you didnât see him
his room was empty, not a single person in sight
that is until you further examined the big lump on his bed
âheeseung? what...â you walked over to the lump that you only knew was him because you could see a bit of his hair peeking out from the top
âum.. am i interrupting something..â you awkwardly said, debating whether or not to go closer
he wasnât saying anything so you guessed he was sleeping
how odd for him
you wanted to just check real quick and then youâd leave his room
so your feet padded softly against his wooden floor as you made your way over to him
and you bent down a little to kind of tug the huge blanket away from his face
as you got closer you also noticed his girlfriend wasnt here
the first thing you noticed was that he was definitely not asleep
your eyes widened and your hand instinctively went to his face to cup his cheek
âare you okay?! why are you crying?â you quickly asked, your eyebrows were furrowed in worry
in your months living with him you have never seen him show any emotional feelings in front of you and it almost made you panic
his eyes locked onto yours before he looked away from you and closed his eyes
he still hasnt said anything and you really didnt know what to do in this situation
you took your hand off his cheek before sighing
now youâre just sat on the side of his bed just looking at him.. wondering what to do
you were sure he wasnât sleeping even though his eyes were shut and he wouldnt move
but you sat there for 5 minutes and he didnt seem to mind
âsora broke up with meâÂ
he finally broke the silence
...
you didnt know what to say
you couldnt ask if he was okay when he obviously wasnt
âdo you wanna talk about it? you looked over to heeseung to see him staring at you
ânot reallyâ he broke eye contact once again and looked up towards the ceiling
âlater i will.. just not nowâ he breathed out
you nodded at that, understanding his situation
you felt terrible for the boy
his eyes were red and his voice was all nasally like heâd been crying
âiâll leave you alone now..â you patted his big blanket fluff to lighten the mood and walked out his stuffy room
hours had passed while he was stuck in that room and you didnt know what to doÂ
it was 7pm already
you spent the day watching tv in the living roomÂ
but it was dinner time and you made ramen (his fav!!!) in hopes that he would come out of there
âheeseung youâve gotta eatâ you knock on his door again
you had told him to eat at 2 earlier but he insisted that he wasnt hungry
you were surprised when he instantly opened the door and your hand was still in midair as you were knocking
if your hand moved an inch you wouldve been knocking on his chest which you found very funny but you didnt think this was the right time for jokes
âhiâ you looked up at him
he was wearing his purple beanie with sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt
he definitely looked better than he did this morning which you thanked god for
âheyâ he gave u this look :]
âyou okay? i made ramen.. can you smell itâ you kinda giggled
âyeah, thanksâ he tried to send you a small smile which you were thankful for
âokay well come eat because i worked very hard on itâ you turned on your heels and went towards the tiny kitchen island with two seats
he followed you and sat next to you as you gave him his bowl and chopsticks
âbon appetit!â you clapped your hands before digging in
you were proud of urself ngl... the ramen was smacking
âthank you y/nâ he said softly
you refused to admit it but he was.. So Cute
âno problem, just eatâ you grinned
and you two ate in silence for a good 15 minutes
he said he would do the dishes after you were done which was relieving because you wanted to go jump in your bed and watch tiktoks very badly
there was a slight awkwardness in the air too so you wanted to let that cool off too
so now you were cuddled up in our bed with your phone very close, almost too close, to your face
and you could hear the sink running as heeseung washed the dishes
you silently prayed he was feeling better and that he would be over it soon
the sink turned off and you could hear his footsteps coming towards the hallway
what surprised you was that you heard knocks on your bedroom door
âcan i come in?â he asked
âyeah its openâ you replied
u had to get out of ur blanket cocoon :///
you watched him stride over to sit next you on your bed
he even got under the covers and laid down like dang lmao u getting comfy i guess
âwhats up?â you were sitting up while he was laying on your pillows
âso.. she broke up with me last nightâ he spoke while hugging one of your plushies
oh OHH so this is what this is about
âoh.. are you feeling better now?â
âyeah i think.. we only dated for 4 months but i really liked her....â
âdid she say why she did?â you asked
âshe said she found someone else. i dont know if you know this but shes a year older than me and she told me she wasnt into younger guys which doesnt even make any sense because her ex was younger than her too and-â
âokay heeseungâ you laugh âpeople are like that, you just gotta deal with itâ
âyeah yeah, i knowâ he sighed âi dont know.. i dont know if im sad i lost her or if im sad over the fact that i dont have a girlfriend anymoreâ
âwas she your first girlfriend?â
âme? y/nâ he laughed âive had plenty beforeâ
âohâ you didnt even wanna ask
âwhy? have you never had a boyfriend or something?â he joked
âno....â you trailed off, unable to look him in the eye out of embarrassment
you were never even embarrassed about that but for some reason admitting it to heeseung made you shy
âwhat?! no wayâ he was actually shocked
âyes way now can we change the topic this is terribleâ you roll your eyes and shove a plushie in his face
âawee little y/nâ he teased you
âget outâ you snickered
âokay okay fine.. but yeah i think iâll be okay. she broke up with me as soon as she got here so all of my planning was for nothing. i think that was what devastated me the most, i had no one to eat withâ
you wanted to yell I LITERALLY EXIST soooo bad
Why is he so stupid.......Â
âthats sad...â you said
you wanted to laugh at your reply bc what else could you say
âyeah anyways you dont have to worry about taking care of me while im sulking or whatever im cool nowâ
âwell that was quick.. you were acting like a baby this morning now ur this tuff guyâ you tease
âyeah yeah i dont even know why i was acting like thatâ his cheeks went pink
âim just kiddingâ you send a small smile his way âyou know im always here for you right? dont be afraid to be a little emotional sometimesâ you reach over to pat his head
âthanks y/nâ he smiles âyouâre a really great friendâ
ouch
yeah.. friend
#enhypenwriters#enhypen imagines#enhypen#heeseung#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen au#enhypen fic#enhypen reactions#heeseung imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen timestamps#enhypen drabbles#heeseung scenarios#kpop imagines#enhypen blurbs
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Stand Still.
Geto Suguru x F!Reader Angst!
Synopsis: Geto allows his insecurities to take over his mind resulting in him hurting your feelings when you show a little too much interest in Gojo.
Please read the notes at the bottom uwu âŁď¸
Warnings: ANGST! Swearing???? DIDNT PROOF READ LOL
PT. 2
ââââââââââââââââââ
You stood in the living room you shared with your boyfriend, the usual loving and welcoming atmosphere was no longer there. The reds and oranges you felt when you spent time with him was now replaced with emotions that felt like muggy shades of blues and grays. *
Everything felt like it was slowed down, like you had just witnessed everything in slow motion.
You looked into Getoâs eyes filled to the brim with bewilderment. Chest heaving as the remainder of adrenaline rushed through him. You couldnât tear your gaze away from him, You've never seen him this worked up. You have never seen him this...mean.
Every last word he spat out was Accusatory. Harsh. Unfiltered. All the words came from a place of insecurity, an insecurity even he didnât know he had.
It took you a minute to process everything that was said, well rather spat, to you. It was like your mind couldnât fathom the fact that your sweet boyfriend stood before you in the aftermath of an emotional bomb he just dropped.
You knew this would happen at some point. You knew that relationships came with obstacles that you would have to face together. You knew that, but you were so hopeful that you would be able to talk things through like adults.
You two were always so adamant about communicating, and speaking up when something is bothering you, promising each other to put pride to the side and speak up and compromise on whatever the issue may be.
All it takes is one to fuck it up.
You finally processed what he said to you, the weight of his words crushed you into a million pieces. The heat reached your face and the stinging in your eyes was what made you finally look away.
You plopped down on the couch giving yourself a moment before you looked back up at him.
âI...â You approached with caution as you spoke, afraid he would cut you off as he has been since the argument started. Spewing Words as sharp as a knife not allowing you to get a word in edgewise and raising his voice over your calm one in order to try to get his point across, and oh did he get it across.
âYouâŚâŚ..itâsâŚâŚ.UhâŚ.â You lifted a finger up. Silently asking Geto to give you a moment to gather your words. Quickly you looked away ,your tears beginning to flow, not seeming to stop anytime soon. But still, you couldnât talk, the lump in your throat stopping you, words only coming out in hiccups.
You cursed yourself for not being able to hold them in long enough to explain how you felt about the situation. About his accusations. Cursed yourself for not being able to speak freely, or be upset without looking like a crybaby.
Getos anger diminished the instant he saw the tears roll down your face. His knitted brows relaxed and his eyes softened at the sight of you, shaking as you tried to speak your mind. Unaware of the weight his words had.
He has seen you worked up and upset like this countless times, but never because of him. To say the guilt hit differently was an understatement.
You took a deep and shaky breath and held it for a few seconds. You were quite surprised at the fact that Geto didnât move or say anything to interrupt you the entire time.
How long have you two been here?
âI tried so hard to avoid this, Suguru..... I looked past my insecuritiesâŚ.pushed the doubts to the side and all of that so you could receive my love without obstaclesâŚ.without me projecting my fears onto you and the relationship.â You somehow managed to speak shakily of course, voice cracking almost the entire time.
He internally cringed at the formality, the lack of pet names made his heart wrench in pain, reminding him how bad he really messed up.
âAnd to know that you feel this way about me...and to know that my efforts are evidently not reciprocated...hurts like a mother fucker..â
You covered your mouth, eyes on the wall beside you, still unable to look at him.
âBut honestly Geto⌠what hurts the most is that I already know you could do betterâŚâ you rolled your eyes upwards, dropping more tears and shook your head, your own insecurities laying themselves out on the table.
Getoâs eyes widened then immediately his expression turned to a pained one, remembering the words he spat in the heat of the moment. **
âIf I wouldâve known that you would turn into Satoruâs little cheerleader, ready to kiss his ass whenever he came around, then I wouldnât have asked you to be my girlfriend!! I couldâve and shouldâve done wayyy better I swear!â
For someone who was talking so much shit five minutes ago, he found himself at a loss for words.
There was a lump in his throat , and when did his mouth turn dry?
Was it when he recalled the things he said after that? Mentions of how many opportunities he had in the duration of your relationship in order to hit you where it hurt most?
Or was it when he mentioned that âGojo wouldnât date you anywayâ in attempts to mask the underlying jealousy he had at the very thought of you falling for the man who could quite literally do anything.
Who could have everything.
Who had the world crafted specifically for him.
âand I always wonderedâŚâ he snapped out of his thoughts and his brows furrowed once again, creating a displeased look. He was disgusted with himself, disgusted that he selfishly ran his mouth without considering your feelings.
âLikeâŚ.what I could have possibly done to have been chosen by you? Geto SuguruâŚ.chose me? Of all people.â You wiped tears away from your face, you looked so small doing so, Geto wished he was the one wiping those tears, but he couldnât move. His feet betraying his commands. Knees weak knowing he did this to you.
âAnd for you to even think that I would betray you and break your trust.â It was your turn to speak now, holding in so much up until this point, however you did not raise your voice, nor did you cause a scene. You loved him way too much for that.
âGeto Suguru, a man the gods have blessed not just with looks but with a heart of gold..dating me? And you think I would throw all of that away to be with your best friend?â You choked on a couple of sobs, continuously wiping your tears away, seriously wondering if you have ever cried this hard in your life.
The fact that you still somehow managed to praise him while scolding him made his blood run cold. Guilt through the roof, enough to make his fingers cold and shake slightly by his sides. A stark contrast compared to his words.
âWhat have I done?â
It was no surprise to him that you were still somehow being kind despite your anger. You were kind, not nice. ***
The love was there and he knew it, he felt it. Because if it were anybody else the results wouldâve been different.
âIâm...sorry if I make you feel that way...but please know it was not in my intentions to hurt you ..â You finally looked at him while apologizing, you made sure he knew you were being as genuine as possible.
You pushed yourself up from the couch and made your way to the bedroom. Getoâs eyes followed you, but still he couldnât not move.
âMove you fucking idiot!â
A Switch in his brain went off as soon as you were out of his sight. He sped walked in your direction, but he was a little too late. You locked the door behind you just before he was able to put himself in between the door.
âY/n! Please let me in! Iâm sorry!â The knob shook as he tried the door. He knew it would be locked but heâd be damned to let you go through this alone. He already did enough damage, he was determined to at least try and fix this.
The knob shook harder and soon the whole door shook. He slammed his hands against the wood and called out your name desperately begging you to let him in.
You ignored the cries to the best of your abilities, stepping away from the door. The sounds of his voice begging for you made you want to throw up, it hurt so much.
âY/n please...I just want to talk..â his voice cracked and you began to sob quietly just at the mere sound. You wanted to open the door, you really really did, but at the same time you didnât want to see him.
He was adamant though. He could hear you try to muffle the sobs on the other side and thatâs what put him into overdrive.
âMove away from the door!â He commanded, kicking it down easily, startling you in the process. Thankfully he gave you time to step away before doing so, and his heart broke again at the sight of you.
Your eyes were dull but still streaming tears, but the duffle bag slung over your shoulder full of your items made him feel so powerless.
âHey hey heyâŚâŚwhat are you doing..â his eyes desperately scanned your figure, moving from the bag to your eyes then to the room, noticing drawers were left open and things tossed around the bed.
â...W-Where are you goingâŚ?â His voice was small but he stood his ground in the doorway, blocking the exit unintentionally but intentionally.
You didnât look at him, but more so past him. Your eyes were on him but they werenât on him.
âIâm going home for a little bit, until Iâm-â
âWhat do you mean? Home..is here..âhe cut you off. Again his voice was small, not matching with his towering form that slowly began to deflate when he noticed how the love in your eyes was nowhere to be found.
You sighed and placed a hand on your temple. He cut you off again, and you didnât want to do this anymore. You didnât want to fight him anymore.
âSuguru. You know what I mean. Iâm going to my paren-â
âNo!â He yelled, causing you to flinch. âYouâre not leaving me!â Geto snatched the bag from your grasp and unzipped the bag, he made his way into the room and dumped the contents into an already opened drawer, a majority of the clothes and items dropping to the floor but he didnât care. He wasnât going to lose you.
His breathing was heavy again, and tears threatened to drop. Oh how you wished you hadnât seen the way his eyes looked at you.
âSuguru...pleaseâŚâ you cautiously approached the bag he flung on the bed, and repacked the bag slowly, afraid of him snapping again.
âCan we Please just talk about this?â He forcefully grabbed you by the forearms, pulling you away from the duffle bag and pushed you up against a wall, not in a harsh way, but in a way that felt desperate.
âPlease let me explain myself, I didnât mean anything I said I-â he tried spilling out what he had to say before you tried pushing him away, but now it was his turn to be interrupted.
âI know, SuguruâŚI know..but before we talk about this...I really need to clear my head..Otherwise I wonât be able to do things in a rational way...and you know I canât do that if I have you around to influence my thoughts.â
Your eyes searched for his and you regretted it, you were feeling so many things but your eyes held no emotion. However, seeing the way he looked down at you, hair messy and in his face from going awol earlier, his face flushed from the raw display of emotion brought life back into your eyes.
Tears dropped on your cheeks when you looked up at him. That was enough to get the waterworks going again.
He never realized how afraid he was of losing you until now. It never occurred to him that this would even be something to happen in your relationship until this very moment.
He realized how much he fucked up, allowing his emotions to have snowballed into this big ass mess. You were always so open to talk about things, but he never took the opportunity because of his pride, and now the consequences of his actions are coming to bite him in the ass.
âI gotta go..â you whispered and easily got out of his grasp, he didnât fight back, he knew he couldnât change your mind once you had your mind set on doing something. Another reason he fell in love with you , another wave of regret.
He watched your form as you left, eyes never leaving your body.
You didn't look back and that was a sight that would haunt him in his dreams forever.
âââââ
**** notes:
* - in the paragraph where it talks about feeling colors
When I think of memories and how I felt, I associate them with colors, reds oranges, pinks, yellows green = warm/ happier memories
Shades of blue = cold, more depressive moments
So when it talks about y/n feeling the blue, gray atmosphere, itâs because the tension was so thick, the usual âredâ atmosphere was now âblueâ at the flip of a switch.
Lol super self indulgent
**- this fic is so self indulgent, I do this. Well used to, but when I used to get mad and things would get heated I wonât remember what I said or what I did because I was so upset.
***- to me, Being nice is superficial and being Kind comes from within.
ââ-
Hello! Welcome to my new blog!
I was GOJOSGLASSES
But something happened to my account and I think Iâm being shadowed and Iâm sooo sad cause I had a whole theme and master list (a short one but still) now I have to start over )^:
Anywho! Welcome! Requests are open and hopefully Iâll get around to moving the fics here or maybe just linking old ones but I think I may transfer them over here )^: big sad!
âââââ
Hello babies! Thank you for taking the time to read this!
This fic is super super self indulgent
I love Angst so much. I donât know why LOL
Of course this is an Angst to fluff type stuff and Iâll get to part 2. When I feel like it
(Or if itâs highly requested) but I just felt like being extra dramatic.
Also LOLOLOL I love angst but please donât leave your partner in the dark like this, communicate please. Iâm just being extra dramatic because I love hurting myself with fics.
BAHAHA Also this Drabble thing was inspired by the song:
Stand Still - Sabrina Claudio
Very angsty and I feel like Iâll make more drabbles and stuff based off this song because I love love love it so much omg very sensual very sexy!
Thanks for reading!
#drabbles#fanfic#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk geto#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x y/n#geto suguru#geto x reader#suguru x reader#saturo gojo
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Hello to all :)
Time for the next part!
Wish you all a wonderful evening! :)
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 13
We continued enjoying our time, as Aurora got more crowded with people. At some point Cleo showed up, coming to say hi to us, as she was here to meet with Hannah and the others . She had one drink with us before going to sit with them, telling how she is bussy helping her mom at the Gates of Hope with redecorating and other stuff, but she hopes all will be done soon, so we can finaly meet in peace. As it got more crowded with people, Phil was busy and also didnt have much time to have fun with us. Jessy was in a quite good mood, joking and drinking, it was nice seeing her like that.The music playing was good. There was a mixture of everything, from 80's till present day. A song started and Jessy grabbed my hand âOhhh, lets dance, Maya, i love this song!â I had no chance to say anything, as Jessy lead me half way to the dance floor already. She started dancing, and i couldnt do anythign but join her. And we had fun. I needed this, i tought, just some simple fun with good friends. Dan joined us from time to time, showing off his killer dancing skills. Phil was passing by us few times, going to one of the booths or tables, always winking at me with that devilish grin of his. One of the times, as Jessy and me wer dancing Phil came from behind me, wraping his free hand arround my waist and squeezing agains me. We just moved with the rhythm of the music for a while, before he groaned at my ear âArghh, as much as i would love to stay here with you gorgeous, but work is calling.â I grined at him, as he let go of me slowely âAww, next time then.â As much as i liked it, i hoped Jake didnt see this. I wouldnt want him to get the wrong idea about Phil and me. I really wanted to know where i stand with him, but this noncomunication between us wasnt helping. Lily told me to be patient, but as i told Jessy, my patiance is running short. I leaned to Jessy telling her i need to go sit down for a while, and we returned at the bar. Dan and Thomas wer there talking, and both got up from the stools letting us sit as we came. Thomas smiled at us âYou two really got it going on tonight.â He turned to Dan saying teasingly âYou better be careful,man, and keep her close to youâ He pointed at Jessy âThey wer smoking hot on the floor, dont let someone steel her.â Jessy grined at Thomas âLet him sweat a little, he might appriciate me more then.â âAwww, babe, dont be cruel, you know i appriciate you.â Dan told her, being dramatic as always, making a puppy face. âOhh, shus it, you big goof, and lets dance.â She told him, taking him by the hand to the dance floor. Thomas turned to me âSo, can i presume all is good between Lily and you now?â âI guess you can.â I told him, and he smiled âThats good to heare.â A waiter came with two drinks, handing them to Thomas. âGuess then soon we can all get together again, without any drama.â âDefinatly!â i said, smiling. He smiled back âGood. Well, have fun, Maya, see you arround.â I waved at the waiter asking for a mineral water, i was really thursty from all the dancing. I checked my phone, it was after 3, and i noticed a missed call sign. I opened the call log, and when i saw it was another of those hidden numbers, my mood darkened all of a sudden. What is going on here, i touhgt, thess calls are starting to get me worried. Jessy and Dan returned from dancing, and i decided i had enough for the night. This thing shook me up good, and i doubted i could enjoy the evening anymore. I told Jessy i'd be going, to wich she protested a bit, but hugged me and said to call her for coffee any time im up for it. I took my things, waving them goodby. As i was near the entrance, i saw Phil, so i waved at him, he winked and made a phone gesture with his hand, suggesting we'll be talking soon.
As i left the Aurora, cool night air washed over me, so i put my jacket on. I got to my car,  just leaning on the side of it, my mind still thinking of those damn calls. They are starting to freak me out a bit, and that sinister feeling started to creep up to me again. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, when a voice said âAre you ok?â I opened my eyes, seeing Jake standing infront of me. I managed to barely make a smile at him âYeah, im fine.â He was looking at me, those deep eyes scaning every inch of my face, like he knew what i said wasnt true. âJust tired, i guess.â I added, giving him a bit bigger smile, wich seemed to make him belive me. He leaned on the car next to me, and we just stood there in silence for a while. I get restless every time im close to him, my hands itch to just grab him and pull him closer. âYou look good, by the way.â He said after a while, giving me a shy look. His words snaped me from my fantasizing, and  i smiled and winked at him âThanks, glad you noticed.â âOfcourse i did, i do have eyes, you know.â He said teasingly. I turned towards him making a gesture of bevilderment as i said ��Oh my, he can joke!â âI try my best.â He said, smiling. Oh that beautiful smile, i tought again, making me smile, too. âYou going back in?â he asked. âNo.â I started âI'm actualy contemplating should i walk or drive back to the motel.â âAnd how's that going for you?â he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. âWell, considering im still standing here doing non of the above, i would say not good.â I replied, sighing desperatly. He chuckled at me âHmm, well, how about I drive you back to the motel?â I looked at him surprised, not really expecting it âYou would do that?â He smiled shyly at me âI wouldâ pausing a bit, before adding âFor you.â My heart started beeting like crazy, and i could feel heet comming to my cheeks. This night really is interesting. âUmm, well, sure, i'd like that.â I told him. âBut, you dont mind walking back again?â i asked. âNo, its fine.â âAlright then, lets go.â I told him, taking my keys out of my purse handing them to him. Our palms touched as i gave him the keys, and our eyes met. He moved his hand slowly away, taking the key, giving me goosebumps. I barely glued myself of the car to let him get in. I got in myself as he started the car and we drow from the Auroras parking. It wouldnt take us long to the motel, and i wished the ride wasnt that short. I noticed he was driving slower then you would normaly drive, as if sharing my toughts himself. I felt nervous, my head was blank, i didnt know what to say. All of a sudden, a tought crossed my mind. âHey, Jake, can i ask you something?â âSure.â He said, sounding relieved the awkward silence got broken. âWell, i just tought, i havent had a chance to ask you before. Wern't you in some kind of trouble, if im not mistaken?â i paused before continuing. âI mean, we never discussed it any further. And since you're here at Duskwood for quite some time now already, i was just wondering what's up with all that.â âYou're rightâ he started, glancing shortly at me, focusing back on the road âShort version: lets say i made a deal with some people, making sure i'll be left at peace.â âA dealâ i started âYou didnt threaten anyone, or something like that?â âWhat?â he said, âOfcourse not! What made you ask that?â âHey, its a legit question.â I told him, rising my hands up. âYou can understand why a tought like that might cross my mind.â He was silent for a moment before saying âOk, fair enough. But, no, i didnt threaten anyone, if that makes you feel better.â âIt does. I just dont want for things to get complex for you again.â I said, adding after a little pause, my voice getting a bit sadder âOr you dissapearing again.â He looked at me with such tenderness, slowing the drive even more now âDont worry, Maya, i'm not going anywhere.â I smiled at him âGood.â He turned his head, focusing on the road again, and i realized we came at the motel. He parked close to my room. Neither of us was eager to leave the car, so we just sat there in silence for a moment. I had a felling he wanted to say something, but wasnt sure about it. I finaly managed to force myself to leave the car. I was about to pull the door handle, when Jake suddenly said âWait.â I turned towards him. âCan i ask you something now?â âSureâ i said, even tho i had a feeling i wouldnt really like the question. He got all nervouse, but finaly asked âYou and Phil.. is there something happening?â Oh,no,no,no, i tought, why he had to ask it. The night would end perfectly without this. I groaned pleadingly at him âUgh, can we not talk about Phil now, please.â âWhy not?â he asked, and i noticed his nervousness intensifing. âBecause i dont know what to tell you, Jake.â âHow about the truth?â he said. âI cant do that.â He looked at me confused âWhy not?â âBecause i myself dont know what the truth is.â I groaned, leaving the car. He left the car, closing the door and walking over to me handing me the keys âWhat do you mean?â âI mean, i'm a mess, Jake.â I started âI dont know what to think any more. You want the truth? Fine. Yes, i like Phil, i cant denie it. We clicked, i feel good arround him, thats the truth.â  My words  stung him, and he barely managed to say âI see.â He leaned with his back against the car, steadying himself. But i wasnt finished yet. âAnd then there's you, Jakeâ i started, my voice full of compassion and tenderness. He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. âI like you, too. I like you so much, that it hurts.â I paused a bit before i continued. âIm drawn to you like a magnet, i cant pull off. But, its like, every time the magnets are about to connect, one switches polarity and the other is thrown aback. Its driving me insane! With Phil, everything flows easy. But with you, its everything but easy.â âMaya, i know i'm not the easiest person..â he started to say, but i held my fingers to his lips, not leting him speak.They wer so soft and warm, i had to focuse hard on what i wanted to say. âI know, its not easy for you to open up, to let people in. I get it. And i know i said i can wait, that i'll be patiente. But my patiance is fading. I dont know how much longer i can go on like this, Jake. Its tearing me up inside.â As i said it, i leaned my forehead to his, putting both of my arms to his chest,leaning against him. We just stayed like that for a while. Being this close to him, and the warmth of his body radiating - i felt serene. His heart was beeting fast, probably matching mine. I could stay like this forever, i tought, but i needed to continue. I was waiting for this, to finaly tell him what was on my mind. âI need to know what might be of us.â I said âIf there even exists the posibility of 'us'.â We stayed like that for a while more, non of us daraing to move or speak, before i slowely pulled away from him. I sighed âYou dont have to say anything now. Just, think about what i said. You know where to find me if you want to talk.â I leaned to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek âGood night, Jake. Thanks for the ride.â I turned walking slowly towards my room, when i heard him say âGood night, Maya, sweet dreams.â I turned back, not stopping in my steps, giving him one more smile, him smiling back. I hoped me opening up like this will make him finaly understand the depths of my feelings. I knew there was a posibility he might not feel the same, but i didnt care of it now. I did what i could, i told him how i feel, now he holds all the cards. I unlocked my door and entered the room, kicking my boots off, throwing myself on the bed. What an interesting night it was, i tought smiling, covering myself with blanket and letting sleep take over me.
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Ships and Shells (Pt.1)
-------------------------
There were a great many things that Virgil didnt know, how to solve complex math equations, how to balance a book on his head, how the ocean could be so close to him yet so obscenely far. Really that was what confused him, a title of 'Prince of the Seas' and yet he hadnt set foot near one once in his life.
For a kingdom based so heavily around aquaculture, it was rather odd that his parents seemed to fear water more than they feared the idea of poison in their goblets.
Of course, that didnt mean they'd halted the economy all together, oh no, it was perfectly alright for other people to do the dirty work of the oceans, so long as the nobility stayed away from it.
But that's the thing about keeping an eighteen year old boy trapped in an expansive palace with windows pointing out to a place he wasnt allowed to go. It never worked.
In the case of this particular rebellion, Virgil had strayed off nearly every day at night to watch the tides, to feel the water on his feet, to call out to the distant shore that seemed oh so welcoming when he wasnt allowed to accept its invitations.
And if he couldnt sneak out, he watched ships dock and leave from the harbor as often as he could, his mind swimming with ideas of what it might be like.
"But mother I dont want to go to my classes! The instructor is all boring and- creepy-" Virgil complained, dragging his nails along the table and pouting slightly.
"Well if you didnt want extra classes than maybe you shouldve paid more attention the first time," the queen responded coldly.
"Well how can I! You've placed the classroom right next to the ocean! If you wanted me to pay attention so badly why would you give me a view like that!" Virgil responded, throwing his arms up.
"Well I'd expect you to have a little more self control than that!" And that settled it, if Virgil's mother was mad, there would be no further questions. Virgil mumbled a bit before he stormed off to his classes, fidgeting with his hoodie strings as he walked.
Of course, he still didnt pay a single lick of attention, simply stared out of the window and cringed at his professor's comments until it was over.
And then it happened, he'd walked out of the study, and heard a loud crash from outside. He raced to a farther window, pressing his face against the glass.
A large black ship was docked in the harbor, and the harbor itself, was on fire.
Virgil had to duck as something hit the window, a quick look allowed him to recognize it as a grappling hook. So Virgil began to run as fast as he could, watching pirates was one thing, getting taken by them was another.
Unfortunately for Virgil, he was fast, but pirates with ropes were much faster. Virgil froze as he heard boots land on the floor in front of him, and attempted to turn back in the other direction, only to run into another pirate.
"Aaawwweee, poor thing, he thinks we're gonna hurt him doesnt he!" Said one of the pirates, cackling. Virgil looked up and spat in his face. The man blinked, pouting slightly.
"Well fine, since you want to be so rude about it, Janus? Roman?" The man looked over Virgil's shoulder, Virgil attempted to break into a run again, only for his arm to get caught by someone else. He swilling around and attempted to bite his captor, only to feel someone else press against his neck, his vision went spotty, and then faded entirely.
He woke up in a cell, the smell of salt water filled his nostrils, he had cloth wrapped around his mouth, wrists, and ankles.
"Terribly sorry for the lackluster greeting, we're not used to skittering mice," Virgil glared at the man standing outside of his cell.
"Gee, you could kill a man with those eyes," the man cackled. Virgil let out a low snarl.
"Oooohhh, I'm shaking in my boots!" The man leaned against the cell, lifting on leg up and propping it on a barrel behind him.
"Tell me, what exactly do you think you'll be able to do to me when you're stuck in there, and even if you were out, pompous prince like you couldnt even throw a proper punch," the pirate said with a grin, Virgil noticed silver fangs glinting at the front of his mouth. Virgil lunged at him slightly, only to end up falling on his face. The silver-fanged man let out another sickening cackle.
"And dont get any ideas about escaping, you're on Captain Remus Duke-Prince Kingsley's ship now, and you'll abide by my rules, or you'll find yourself hanging from a fish hook off the hull," the Captain's voice took on a sudden threatening tone that sent chills down Virgil's spine. Virgil watched as Remus turned on his heel and strode out of the room, wishing ever so intensely that he couldve broken his bonds and strangled the man before he even set foot outside the door.
It felt as though Virgil had been alone in that cell for hours before someone showed up, he was short, with messy auburn hair and bright green eyes. He looked guilty, sad even.
"Here's your food, I'll uh- get that cloth off now-" he stammered, slipping the tray through a slot in the cell, Virgil turned his back to the man, waiting patiently as he felt the man's fingers working through the cloth bindings. Almost as soon as he felt the last piece of cloth fall from his body he bolted upright and tried to push his way through the cage bars. The man who'd delivered his food gave him a pitying look, but didnt stop him. It wasnt until Virgil had managed to tire himself put and collapse onto the floor that he spoke.
"Well, I suppose if you're quite finished, youd like to ask questions, then?" He said, raising an eyebrow. His face was soft, even the mildly annoyed look spread across it now didnt take away from the rosy flush of his cheeks, nor the faint glimmer of his irises.
"Yeah, question one, what the hell do you think you're playing at," Virgil said, slamming his arm against the cage bars again, ignoring the vibration it sent through his body.
"Ok, dont get mad, which is probably a redundant statement since you already look like you're going to explode, but, I cant answer that particular question yet," he said, the guilty expression quickly resurfacing.
"Ok, sure, fine, can you at least tell me what you need me for? Because it clearly isnt a ransom or I'd already be dead," Virgil grumbled, smirking slightly at the worry this seemed to cause the man.
"Well uh, I dont have all of the details, but uh- well- Remus says- I think- we need your help with something? Like- finding something, he says we cant do it unless you're with us," the man stuttered, shifting his feet on the ground.
"Oh really? So if I were to- say, remove myself from the equation, you'd be at a loss hm?" Virgil said, the man let out a terrified squeak. Virgil gave a merciless laugh, for a pirate, whoever this man was, he was nowhere near as threatening as his captain.
"Well uh- yes- that's, how I assume it would work- but uh- I dont think it would be very beneficial to you either-" the man continued, his boots now tapping more frequently on the ground.
"You and I have very different ideas of beneficial," Virgil replied.
"Roman? Is everything alright my darling?" Virgil paused as he heard another voice, this one deeper, almost silky in tone.
"I'm alright Janus-" Roman replied, Virgil heard shuffling.
"Are you going to eat? I dont think it wise to starve yourself, after all, a prince of the seas die in the middle of the ocean? There are far less ironic alternatives, and with much more bravado than that," Janus said, Virgil muttered a bit before he turned to the tray, which was, by some odd miracle, still hot. He glanced in the direction of his co-captors to get a better look at the second figure. Janus was tall, with wavy brown hair that was parted to the right, the left side was shaved, there was a very prominent yellow snake skull drawn on the right side of his face as well, and he, to, had metallic fangs, though his were gold, and were visible even with his mouth closed, Roman, it seemed, had no such additions. Virgil eyed them both carefully before he started eating, and he hadnt realized how hungry he was till that exact second.
"And dont worry about excercise, you'll only be trapped here until we're in the next town, of course you wont be getting off the ship, so dont get any ideas," Janus said calmly.
"And what makes you think you can stop me?" Virgil said, glaring up at him.
"Who exactly do you think incapacitated you upon our arrival at the castle?" Janus said plainly, flexing his hands, upon which were gold accents that seemed to trace it like a skeleton.
"Well, enjoy your meal, and dont sit still for to long, it gets dreadfully uncomfortable for your joints to get that stiff," and with that, the pair were gone, Janus fixing his hat, and Roman clinging to Janus' arm like a lovestruck puppy.
And there was Virgil, alone, and very much unhappy.
----------------------------------------------
Tag list:
@thefivecalls
@willowaudreykeyes
@pricklyfish777
@the-sad-strawberry
@itsnithbabey
@private-snippers
@extercs-experiences
@rich-flower-17
@theonetruebeepboop
@mycatshuman
@teamplutoforlife
@melodiread
@meowthefluffy
@frawkeye
@cemmy
@nerosdayinhell
@thecolorfulolive
@frog-candy-bee
#cori writes#long post#ships and shells#ts remus#ts virgil#ts sides#ts janus#ts roman#tw kidnapping#tw drowning mention#tw suicide mention#roceit#romantic roceit#dukexiety#future dukexiety#romantic dukexiety#tw blood
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Small Mercies In Poisoned Teacups
Snapetober 2020: Day 3 - Torture a much softer take at the prompt
"Explain yourself."
"I, I don't know what you're talking about, sir."
Severus closed his eyes. He dug two fingers into his temple, trying to ward off the headache that was sure to come if he had to continue this conversation for any longer. He took a quiet deep breath and reminded himself that he couldn't accuse Potter of stealing from him without any real proof.Â
"You were the last one out of the classroom." Severus finally spoke, opening his eyes and staring at the green-eyed Gryffindor in front of him.Â
"Is that a crime?"Â
Severus scowled. "Specifically, you were coming out of my potion stores when I reentered my classroom, Potter."
Potter didn't say anything, merely looked defiant. Fifth year potions had just ended and Severus had been distracted at the door by a question from one of his Slytherins and when he'd turned around to ensure the room was empty so he could lock up, he spotted the fifteen year old slipping out of the supply cabinet. He didn't bother to take stock, he knew whatever the brat had taken would be small enough to miss; he wouldn't make the same mistakes he had during second year, when he had stolen a noticeable amount of supplies to brew polyjuice in secret.Â
Instead, he had cornered the boy before he could leave the dungeons corridor altogether.Â
"I didn't take anything, if that's what you're accusing me off." Potter muttered, gripping his bag a little too tightly.Â
"No?" Severus asked gently, completely derailing Potter's defensiveness with his sudden softness. He wanted answers and he knew just how to get them. "Come with me, Potter."
He led the boy back towards the classroom, back into the potions store. He gestured around the shelves lined with unlabeled phials and jars, at the collection of ingredients.Â
"I suppose I should be impressed if you had managed to steal from me." Severus mused, watching him carefully. "I would be surprised if you paid enough attention to know what half of these potions even are, let alone what they do. I don't label, you see, to dissuade halfwitted children from stealing from me. The half that do understand are usually intelligent enough to just ask. It's a pity you aren't."
"I didn't think you'd have much sympathy for me, sir." Potter muttered darkly, his voice so quiet Severus wasn't sure it was meant to be audible. Harry was staring intently at a small collection of glass bottles with mismatched labels half-scrubbed away.Â
"What makes you say that?" Severus asked, keeping his voice flat and neutral. He probably wouldn't have much sympathy truthfully, didn't have much to spare with everything he had to take care of this year. Still, as he stared at the bottles filled with Essence of Dittany, a strange sort of cold feeling washed over him. It was probably nothing - children get hurt all the time. It was the preference to steal than go to the hospital wing that forced his uneasiness.Â
Harry shrugged.Â
"What, pray tell, do you need the Essence of Dittany for?" Severus finally asked, masking the uneasiness with annoyance. He noticed the boy flinch in response. "Were you so arrogant to think I wouldn't figure it out? Mr. Potter, your tells are so obvious, you wouldn't fool a lemming."Â
He muttered under his breath.Â
"Speak up, Potter."
"I cut my hand, is all." Harry repeated and the angry defiance in his tone had returned.Â
Severus held back a sigh and led them out of the storage room. He pointed to a chair and waited until the boy had sat down until he spoke. "Then why not just go to the infirmary? Surely a boy of your status would prefer to bask in the attention of Madame Pomfrey than myself?"Â
"It's really not worth going to the infirmary over."
"Then why steal in the first place?"
Harry scowled. "Madame Pomfrey would make too big of a deal out of it and it would only make things worse. I can handle it on my own, thanks."
"Handle what?" Severus was only growing more puzzled, but he wouldn't let that derail him. He could tell something was absolutely wrong with the situation in front of him and he was determined to figure it out before he punished the boy for having the audacity to steal from him yet again.Â
He remained silent.Â
"Don't make me threaten you with veritaserum."
"How original." Harry scowled and then paused. He looked up at the potions master with curiosity. "Actually sir, I do have a question: how difficult is it to get your hands on veritaserum?"Â
"Quite." Severus answered, studying him carefully. "It's regulated by the Ministry. Unless you know how to make it, of course, but it's also difficult to brew."
Harry nodded. "So if a professor were to use it on their students, they would have to get it from the MinistryâŚ.or you?"Â
"What are you getting at, Potter."
"Nothing really."
"The Ministry would never sanction the distribution of veritaserum to a professor. Any potion they are in possession of and wish to use, can only be used within a courtroom." Severus decided to answer, inferencing the reason for the question. "If a wizard - professor or not - wanted it for petty use, they would have to contact a willing potioneer for it."
"I suppose any teacher here could just ask you for it, then.â
"They could. They would also have to trust that the veritaserum they were given wasn't just a phial of distilled water, wouldn't they?" Severus asked indifferently.Â
Harry's eyes widened the tiniest bit, but he didn't say anything.. Good. There was plausible deniability that way; he had never outright said he'd given Dolores fake veritaserum when she had banged his office door open last week, but who's to say what really happened?
He eyed Harry carefully and figured they had built enough of a rapport to continue. "Essence of Dittany." he reminded the boy.Â
"I told you, I just cut my hand."
"Let me see, then." Severus directed as snippets of memory from past years rose up. His job of keeping the boy alive was made unnecessarily difficult by his insistence of constantly getting into trouble. At this point, he wouldn't be surprised if "just a cut" meant "I lost a limb" for the boy.Â
Again, Harry scowled, but this time he pulled back the sleeve of his robe and presented the back of his hand to Severus.Â
He blinked.
The back of Potter's hand was red and slightly swollen, streaked with wet crimson from where the fabric of his sleeve had been dragged over the still bleeding corners of the words carved into the skin. The cuts were deep and angry-looking and sure to scar over.
I must not tell lies.Â
He reached a tentative hand, acutely aware of the flinch he received, and studied the wound closer. It was days old, but it was also fresh at the same time.Â
"Essence of Dittany was a good choice." he finally spoke up.Â
"It was Hermione's idea."
Severus nodded, trying to keep his composure but he could feel the anger coiling in his stomach. He could also feel the hum of Dark magic radiating from the wound. Simple healing spells would be useless here, but he doubted Miss Granger hadn't already tried that before suggesting the Dittany. "How did this happen?" he asked needlessly.Â
He knew the work of a blood quill when he saw it.
Harry took his hand back, pulled the sleeve down until the ugly words were hidden from sight again. "Umbridge had me do lines for my detention," he shrugged casually, as if admitting to a professor torturing him was no big deal, "and she insisted I use a special quill of hers."
Severus' lips thinned. "And you told no one."
"I just told you.â
This time, he couldn't hold back the sigh of exasperation. "How long has this been going on?"Â
"Three days now." Harry answered. "I have her again tonight. I can handle it."
The anger was only increasing. âYou shouldnât have to handle it.â he gritted out. âYou understand this is beyond unacceptable? This isnât punishment, Potter, itâs torture.â He forced a breath. âGo, go to, to wherever youâre supposed to be right now.â He paused. âYou have detention with me tonight now, conveniently at the same time youâre supposed to be meeting with Umbridge.â
âOh, uh, yes sir.â
âLeave.â
He managed to keep himself composed just long enough for the Gryffindor to flee out of the room. He left the classroom as well and entered his private lab, seething. He would have to tell Minerva of this development, Dumbledore as well, but that could wait for a few hours. First, he needed to calm down before they accused him of caring for the brat.Â
He was only taking his duty at ensuring the safety and wellbeing of his students seriously. It just happened to include Potter directly, this time, but isnât that what heâs been doing since day one? So maybe he had gotten the brat out of Doloresâ inhumane detention for the night and maybe now he was distraction brewing while he thought all of the deadly potions he wished he could slip into her morning cup of tea.Â
That didnât mean anything.
It also didnât mean anything that he summoned a house elf when he finished the nonlethal amber brew and handed over the indistinct vial. It didnât mean anything at all if it happened to slip into Doloresâ teapot the next morning.
Besides, it wouldnât kill her.Â
Unlike her, he had some sense of ethics. If it kept her too sick to leave the hospital wing for the week that followed, well, what were small mercies for students he didnât care for.Â
---
A/N: the original piece for day 3 felt better suited for a different prompt day so i wrote this instead (late yes) and took a lot of creative liberty with the prompt bc i didnt want to write it, i wanted to write snape & harry interacting :(
also trying to fit entire stories in a singular scene is weird and HARD. i need to write the whole thing and thats why every take ive had an these prompts get scrapped bc i realize i cant write it without devoting like a week to it
#snapetober 2020#severus snape#harry potter#snapedom#severitus#except not really but i take content in any shape or form that involves sev looking out for harry as acceptable
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If you donât stan Midoriya what are you DOING he is so GOOD the core of his character is just. CARING about every person he comes across & trying to HELP them even though most of the people heâs encountered before yuuei had been real nasty to him like he couldâve given up! He couldâve said âyouâve never cared about me so why should I care about youâ & turned his back on the world, used his talents for himself or even become a villain (like. My dude has plenty of motive I donât even think Iâd blame him) but he DIDNâT he tries SO HARD he just wants to be able to help people!
âBut heâa a crybaby :/â And?!?! First of all being in touch with your emotions enough to cry isnât a bad thing!!! Second of all heâs been through a lot and is constantly under so much pressure god forbid he cry a little bit!!
His idol crushed his dreams! & yet he didnât harbor any ill will toward all might and he still acted & ended up helping save bakugou (& then got SCOLDED FOR IT WTF. Like the pro heroes were all like âyou couldâve died!â but they werenât doing anything!!! Bkg would be dead if Midoriya hadnât intervened and he got YELLED AT FOR IT. the disrespect is astronomical). He cares about people so much even when theyâve given him nothing but reasons he SHOULDNâT care about them but because heâs so good (and stubborn lmao) he cares about them anyway!! If I was bullied for 10 years I sure as hell wouldnât care about my bully but because Midoriyaâs a literal angel he still does?!?! Like wtf. Heâs just so good!
& the most irritating part is that because of aforementioned 10 years of bullying and being let down by everyone (even his mother which while Inko is a great mother & loves Izuku so much she did screw up by not believing in him) he has like no self worth and doesnât realize how amazing he is?!? He breaks his bones CONSTANTLY bc he doesnât care about the cost to himself as long as he can save other people he literally doesnât rlly care if he dies like when he was being killed by muscular he was scared but his thoughts were âsorry Kota, sorry all might, sorry momâ he was more worried about âletting people downâ than the fact he was dying!! He only stopped breaking his bones bc he was told that if he did it again heâd permanently damage his arms which would make it rlly hard for him to be a hero like he didnât even consider using his quirk in other ways before then even when he was constantly in pain from shattering the hell out of his bones!! He was just like âitâs working Iâm saving people who cares if Iâm in immense pain every time I activate my quirk thatâs fineâ like holy sh*t kid please care about yourself more!! In the sports festival he broke the bones in his hand TWICE OVER for someone heâd hardly ever spoken to!! Like please PLEASE get some self worth you finally have real friends they can help you! You donât have to do everything alone PLEASE let them help you!
Also heâs so smart?! Not just book smart (even though he scored fourth in the class on midterms so heâs obviously that too) but heâs super observant and has crazy analyses on ppls quirks and beyond quirk observation heâs really good at observing people too?! He analysed that the slime villainâs weak spot was probably its eyes & threw the backpack at it startling it enough that it temporarily retreated? He observed Bkg enough that he knew exactly how heâd act in the battle trial and devised a plan to help them win (which btw was NOT SAFE FOR HIM AT ALL & HE KNEW THAT & HE DIDNT CARE AS LONG AS HE COULD HELP THEIR TEAM WIN, another point re: last paragraph) & when he found out that Uraraka didnât have anything that she could float to combat Iida with, he improvised by punching thru the building so that Uraraka had rubble she could use against Iida & he thought of that while in the middle of fighting Bakugou like!!! He! Is! So! Smart!!! He managed to hit the nail on the head about exactly what Todoroki needed to hear during their sports festival fight & made him remember that he could be his own kind of hero & that he wasnât his father! He figured out the fake Uraraka wasnât Uraraka at all just bc he KNOWS her and believes in her!!! He figured out some of mirioâs strategy while he was completely wiping the floor with the rest of 1a and so figured out where heâd pop up & tho he didnât win that fight he did last longer than the rest of his class had! He figured out that he could use Eriâs quirk to CONTINUOUSLY SHATTER & HEAL HIS OWN BONES (again he has NO self preservation and I am sad for him) so that he could fight with 100% of his power and hold on to Eri without being rewound out of existence & traumatizing her further & ALSO TOLD HER THAT HER QUIRK IS A BLESSING! I havenât rlly gotten farther than that in the anime and I donât read the manga but I KNOW Iâm forgetting things but POINT IS heâs really freaking smart which is another thing that makes him so interesting to watch!! Like how many characters do you know that r both really smart & really kind the stereotype seems to be one of the other but bc Midoriyaâs awesome like that heâs both!!
ALSO something else I rlly like about him is that heâs kind and cares about people but when someone hurts a person he cares about he gets MAD & will do whatever he needs to do. He was scared of Bkg but when he implied Midoriya gave Uraraka her plan, he snapped at him & was like âitâs her plan not mine you better respect her strength she did this not me!â He was also scared of End**v*r (I donât blame him! The guyâs freakishly tall, literally covered in fire, and always angry!) but as soon as he insinuated Todoroki was just his pawn or smth Midoriya TOLD HIM OFF he was like âTodorokiâs not you also f*ck you I hate youâ (ok the last part is a lil exaggerated but still). When muscular was threatening Kota? He went FERAL & used 1,000,000% of his power (which. How tf is that even possible but I digress good for you Midoriya ily) to beat him just so this little kid (who literally punched him in the balls earlier) wouldnât die like he was MAD mad. And when he found out what Ov*rh**l was doing to Eri? I thought Iâd seen feral before but HOLY SH*T. He literally tried to KILL HIM (good for Midoriya. Child abusers & transphobes have no f*cking rights) he tried to stab him with that sharp piece of rock & THEN he did 100% full cowling with that absolutely chilling expression like heâs so kind but there was NO trace of kindness on his face while he was fighting Ov*rh**l (good he doesnât deserve it).
ANYWAYS ALL THIS TO SAY Midoriya is so smart and so strong and so genuinely kind & I love him & I wish heâd love himself bc he deserves it! Iâm glad 1a cares abt him so much bc itâs!!! What!!! He!!! Deserves!!! Stan Midoriya ok rant over bye
Edit: ok wait rant not QUITE over Iâve got one more thing: with Urarakaâs help he took a childhood nickname that he always HATED (like he specifically says that in the story donât yâall try to downplay how much it hurt him) & completely changed the meaning. He even made it his HERO NAME he was like âthis isnât gonna hurt me anymore Iâll make it into something I can be proud ofâ and like. Even tho I donât like the nickname and refuse to refer to Midoriya with it unless Iâm specifically talking about his hero persona, THE POWER THAT HAS. Once he realized that he wasnât alone anymore he just DECIDED to take something that had hurt him in the past & turn it not something that could comfort people in the future (bc we KNOW that heâs gonna b the no 1 hero & ppl r gonna be comforted at hearing heâs on the scene). He did that. Iâm so proud of him.
#this is probably similar to other midoriya stan posts so Iâm sorry abt that but i just love him & wanted to express that#its been said before but ill say it again bc he deserves it!!#midoriya izuku#bnha
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The Fine Art of Conversation
Anonymous said to arthurs-wife:
Hello! Just wanted to say that I love all of your Arthur Morgan x reader fics and I was going to ask if I could request one where she and Arthur are arguing and out of habit from threatening people, he grabs hold of her neck or wrist and continues to argue with her until he sees the fear in her eyes knowing that he is the cause of her being scared and please can it be fluffy at the end? I understand if you donât want to write this because we all know that Arthur is a sweet little bean. Thanks!!
writing-in-hell said to arthurs-wife:
Hello, I know your requests are open but I always feel awkward doings these but could you do an Arthur or Dutch x reader (idk who you write for, sorry) where the reader gets really anxious over yelling/being yelled at. {Ps- not having a great night so I'm sorry if this bothers you. You don't need to write it either, I understand.}
(A/N: there were two prompts that were similar and i hate combining but im running behind right now, im sorry. anyways i hope you enjoy this bc i sure didnt im still crying bye)
Gunfire rang past your head, hitting a water barrel behind you. You were no more skilled with a gun than the kid down the street but here you were, ass end of a rifle and too many men to point it at.
âWhat are you doing, y/n?â Arthur called across the camp, âmake yourself useful and shoot them!â
You took a deep breath and said a prayer to whomever, steeling yourself to get out there and make your new gang proud. Finally, you popped out of your cover, rifle at the ready to see..
Every Lemoyne Raider dead on the ground.
Your rifle dropped to your side. God damn it.
âWhat the hell were you thinkinâ kid?â
Arthur stomped over to you, revolver stowed and hands curled into fists. You had no idea how to deal with confrontation so you cowered where you stood, the giant of a man soon in all of your space.
âIt was a mistake, Arthur,â Charles said gently, albeit at a safe distance.
âMistakes can get you killed,â Arthur said, âand you almost got us, yourself, killed. You could have led those bastards back to camp.â
âIâm sorry,â you managed to choke out, âI wanted to help-â
Arthur grabbed you by the arm and looked like he immediately regret it. Your fight or flight response didnât seem to be working. It was more like fight, flight, or completely shut the hell down. Tears stung in your eyes. You were a fool to think you belonged here.
âCanât help no one if youâre dead, kid.â
Charles walked up silently and put his hand on Arthurâs shoulder, who seemed to sober almost immediately. He looked down at you and sighed, letting go of your shoulder. You rubbed where his fingers had dug in.
A last look up at him and you mounted your horse quickly and rode off.
âDamn it, y/n,â Arthur called, âwait!â
Luckily you didnât have many things at camp but your hands were shaking so hard that it took longer than it needed to. Your breath came in short spurts at one point and you had to bury your face in your hands, trying so hard to keep your pain in the ass panic attack quiet.
The flap of your tent ripped open and there was Arthur. Youâd had enough of him.
You grabbed your satchel and strode to your horse, head held as high as it could go. At one point you thought you could love the man. He was kind, gentle, caring for his family. But there was a beast within him, one you werenât sure could be tamed.
âY/n,â he said softly, âjust stop and let me talk to you.â
You kept on.
âYou stubbornâŚâ
He grabbed your arm and spun you around but you were quick this time. The barrel of your revolver was pointed at his shocked face and your heart hurt and the look on it.
âIf you touch me again,â you hissed, âone of us will die.â
Arthur gulped and the entire camp seemed to go silent. You felt a blush creep up your face and you put your gun down, spinning around and packing your horse.
âCan we go talk somewhere?â Arthur asked quietly. You turned to face him, ready to say no, to say Iâm getting out of your life as soon as I can and you canât stop me. But he looked heartbroken.
âFine,â you said, âbut what I said stands.â
âFair enough.â
You two didnât walk far, just beyond the light of the camp, before you stopped by the shore. The moon was waxing, just shy of a full moon and it danced across the lake, completely unaware of your issues.
âFirst off,â Arthur said, holding up his big hands, âis Iâm sorry. There is no excuse for what I done and I hope you can try to see it to forgive me.â
âIâll try,â you nodded, still not looking at him.
âSecond,â he said, pulling something out of his satchel, âI want you to take this.â
It was a journal, new and black leatherbound. It must have set him back quite a bit.
âWhatâs this for?â you asked, turning it over in your hands.
âIt was tough for me to start writing again,â he said, âafter all thatâs happened, but Iâve found it helps with the anger and sadness.â He laughed at your look. âMostly.â
Your eyes filled with tears again and you looked up at him.
âI donât want to pretend like I know what youâre going through, y/n,â he went on, âbut I donât want to be the reason it gets triggered. So Iâll do my damned best to help you, however you need it.â
You reached out and wrapped your arms around his waist and he chuckled for a moment before patting your head and embracing you back. You felt his scratchy beard on the top of your head as he kissed it and pulled away.
âStay with us, y/n,â he said, âweâre not the most perfect family, but we will love you the most.â
You followed him back to camp and helped Abigail with her son Jack, telling stories around the fire and singing with Javier. After that night, your attacks came less frequently and you were able to track them with your new journal.
And it wasnât until many years later, as you opened the old, tattered thing next to Arthurâs grave to the last few pages that you saw the small, folded piece of paper stuck inside of it.
âY/n,
Just picked this thing up from Rhodes, I think itâs nicer than mine so you better take care of it. Dutch gave me my first journal when I was 16, taught me how to write in it and everything. I do wish I hadnât lost it in Blackwater, Iâm sure thereâs some hilarious juvenile things in there that we could laugh about.
Anyways, I hope by the time you find this weâve made it out west and thriving. I hope Jack is doing well and John has learned to stop being a dumbass. Not likely. I donât really want to end up in Tahiti. Donât tell Dutch but Iâm not entirely sure I know what a mango is and at this point Iâm too afraid to ask.
I hope I got the chance to tell you I love you.
All yours,
Arthur.â
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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever
because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE
but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, itâs unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, itâs unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale
but i can ignore something having a âbad last five minutesâ i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestlyÂ
speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like âi can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as thatâ but iâm really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it
okay commence the liveblog:
love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, theyâre so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe
it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just canât really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but itâs just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly
EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKEÂ âu showed kindness and compassionâ arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didnât care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful
although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...thatâs the STUFF
lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if heâd be in the s5 ones since heâs dead and didnât see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG
like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didnât think uther would be IN it
love that from the get-go arthurâs face screams âi am thinking about making a terrible mistakeâ and merlinâs face is like âhe is thinking about making a terrible mistakeâ
iâm quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. itâs a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season
ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen
if this is the anniversary of utherâs death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...itâs been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade
in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur canât hold a poker face to save his LIFE. âleave it.â âwhy??â âbecause iâm telling you to and iâm the king of camelotâ buddy......
we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlinâs magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlinâs cover because heâs a nervous nelly and at the end he goes âi cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help youâ and merlin goes âwell now i have youâ anyway.
i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole
âyouâre threatening me with a spoon??â i canât tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it
I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly
my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowynâs favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. itâs an age-old battle
merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESNâT totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. heâs willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe heâd be willing in less desperate times too
âmy father was taken from me before his timeâ i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasnât
love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like heâs about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad
up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP
for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought iâd say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what youâre getting. agravaine (his replacement as âevil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easilyâ) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as âwork around utherâs pigheaded unreasonablenessâ
for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesnât deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK
WE
ARE
SO
BLESSED
i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD
repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! thatâs the STUFF
was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey
utherâs such a bad father! heâs with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthurâs such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)Â
iâm THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time utherâs done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE heâs a WRECKING BALL
âthis CANâT be the last time iâll ever see youâ oh buddy youâre gonna wish it was
and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lotâs wife. so it goes.
you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur itâs almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthurâs chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where itâs just the two of them. iâm...really going to miss it, when itâs gone.
âmy father doesnât approve of the way iâve chosen to rule his kingdomâ âyou mean YOUR kingdomâ
you know i donât think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther
iâve seen him save utherâs miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthurâs sake (or as i came to understand later because heâs professor x about the whole thing)
but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck
between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...utherâs dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. itâs INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didnât realize just how much he hated him until now
and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like âoh yeah heâs right about xâ and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlinâs face rn. i didnât actually seriously "âshipââ merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. heâs so fuckijng PROTECTIVE
and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2
ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT
me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITâS REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CANâT BELIEVE THEYâRE DOING THIS I CANâT BELIEVE THEYâRE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc
actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth
percivalâs the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and heâs like: yeah idk i guess it fell
there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and iâm Big into it
absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at utherâs spirit. itâs one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur canât answer, canât even LOOK at merlin, either because heâs ashamed or because heâs bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? itâs never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthurâs just get to haunt him literally this time. god itâs so fucking good
can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and itâs a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur
the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow
thereâs a hint of merlinâs absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says âuther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what heâs capable of nowâ
and arthur dismisses him because he canât hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesnât take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i donât think itâs because heâs angry with arthur, per se - heâs angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. heâs afraid of uther and heâs trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before itâs too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH
if youâre thinking âthats a lot to interpret from one lookâ yes it is but iâm right. ITâS A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that
i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend
multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when heâs nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy
âi always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love herâ BECAUSE HEâS CRUEL
merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. iâm dying. itâs fine
love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the âmerlin and arthur are both scared shitlessâ section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. theyâre both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god itâs so GOOD
do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldnât have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now theyâre totally in sync
hereâs the thing, gaius could have made this magic âable to see utherâs ghostâ potion for just arthur and he didnât. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. theyâre partners in all things. theyâre COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.
you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same âroll with whateverâ vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guyâs dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, letâs do it. come what may heâs not really fussed. much more unflappable
until he starts getting spooked again LMFAOÂ
we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.
leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,
love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthurâs expense. thatâs true friendship
i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left
arthur didnât jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together
merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud
honestly itâs like since he canât shit-talk uther he just sings arthurâs praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it
splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??
love that when merlin gets cornered by utherâs ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP
uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? itâs the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. donât think i didnât notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.
seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O
just kept going âHOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GODâ over and over. it was greeat
âarthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other peopleâ do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither
speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTSÂ âyour hatred comes from fearâ i'm sure they didnât do it on purpose but #throwbacks
iâm fully experiencing human emotion. âiâm not you, i canât rule like you didâ heâs trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit
also lmao arthur like âthen youâll have to kill meâ and uther like âyeah okayâ arthur didnât KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening
AND NOW ITâS TIME
FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE
when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER
HIS LINE HERE. ok. âget away from him, uther. youâve caused enough harmâ heâs furious! heâs GROWLING!Â
âyou are just a serving boyâ âi am much more than thatâ listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said âweâre gonna bring back anthony head as utherâ i doubted. when they said âheâs gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthurâs old woundsâ i doubted. when they said âheâs still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIMâ I DOUBTED. i didnât believe theyâd do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped âNOâ in astonishment
AND HE DID THAT
HEđ
DIDđ
THATđ
NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.
how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that
to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences
i canât even like
like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror
i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didnât really clock until now is how much they both hate uther
itâs so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlinâs old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - âi was BORN with it!â) heâs so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)
heâs also really SATISFIED like âeven while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelotâ GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it
and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him âyouâre wrong, youâre wrongâ for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but itâs just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying
merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first
i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment
THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE
okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading utherâs death sentence and hereâs uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlinâs face look like?
arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?
ITâS BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY
my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him
i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlinâs first thought too
tbh. i wish he had.
i kind of wonder if merlin doesnât wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and heâs terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden
i mean, if you go back and watch it, dudeâs straight up shaking. heâs trembling all over. heâs losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......
uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing
and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both
i like arthurs followup of realizing that heâll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME
i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING
iâm not talking about the glove thing
i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face
and thatâs it. thatâs the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was
#personal#merlin blogging#it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream#MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR#that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon#in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app#apparently this show is a greek tragedy now
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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with
i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with
traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have âparking policeâ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.Â
see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like âoh you like black guys? whatâs your sex like? i bet itâs really goodâ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like âwho are you gonna buy weed from now?â LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like âDAMN THICKâ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didnât do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...thereâs cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.Â
i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like âim so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked upâ. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.Â
mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like âitâs a joke im not apologizingâ. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like âcan yall not?â he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if weâre being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?Â
then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she âwasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt doâ like ok lmao
then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quitÂ
but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but heâd text me every night saying things like âwell lets hope i drink myself to deathâ âsuicide is painlessâ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment everÂ
like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmaoÂ
ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like âim sorry i know yall work hard and everythingâ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfaoÂ
i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. thatâs why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.
so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die
#tw: racism#tw: sexism#tw: suicide#tw: drugs#idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking#mess#i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally#better safe than sorry with tws
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Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory
* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.
* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!
* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.
* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.
* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"
* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!
* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?
* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..
* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!
* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!
* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well
* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)
* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)
* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*
* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!
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For your langst prompt thing, maybe Lance actually having major depressive disorder and starting to crumble under it. The team starts to notice and confront him. Then as a group they try to help him through it. It's not very original, I know...
honey, it doesnt matter if itâs not very original, its something that you want to see and that is all the reason i ever need to write for you. and as for this prompt, this actually hits quite close to home ( since i myself also have clinical depression and went years without proper treatment) so if you yourself are dealing with this, you arenât alone darlings.
__________________________________________If anyone ever asked lance when all of it started he could never really pin point it to an exact cause or time in his life.
itâs just always been there.
thinking back on it now, he would say that the excessive amount of anxiety has been with him since first grade. a knot that formed in his stomach and wouldnât go away, a knot that just seemed to weigh him down and make every movement forward feel like the wrong thing. something in his head telling him that going to school was a bad thing; that something bad was going to happen if he went to school. but when he tried to explain it to his parents, they just told him that it was probbly just a stomachache, that everything was fine.
but that unnamable knot came back every time he got ready to go out somewhere, or whenever he had to do something that he didnât believe he would succeed in. it always came back and made things seem impossible to do alone; that if he tried something wrong would happen and it would be all his fault.
but he learned how to deal with it; albiet not in the best way, but it was better than being trapped in his own heartrate and short breaths. sometimes he could ignore the feeling, push through it to do mundane things like homework and chores. other times, all he could do to stop an anxiety attack was to just avoid the subject all together.
the depression came into play around high school; making friends was hard and the bullying for his accent and where he came from was even harder, it didnt help that he was pretty much the baby of the family; all of his siblings had already graduated back in cuba so there was no one to keep an eye out for him at school and struggling with both understanding the lessons he was given and the complex language barrier that he still had between himself and everyone else at the school, it all took its toll on him. whenever he came back from school, he woould go straight to his room and collapse on his bed, wishing for sleep to just take him away from all the hateful words and mocking he got from his âclassmatesâ day in and day out. he barely ate, even when it was his motherâs cooking that wafted into his room. he just couldnât gather the motivation to go out of his room and be apart of the world. not while his bed was so safe and warm and judgement free.
it was after Lance had missed three school days in a row like this that his mother and father had realized just how bad things were for lance. they took him to a psychiatrist to see what was wrong and what they needed to do to get their old Lance back.
and thats when he was diagnosed with major clinical depressive disorder.
his doctors immediately had him start taking anti depressents and anti anxiety medication; switching between this one and that one before they finally found one that worked with him and his body. it was slow going at first, and many times it felt like it wasnât doing anything at all, but then one day lance was doing his usual chores and realized that it didnt take as much energy as before to do it, he wasnât wrestling with himself to get things done as much as he used to. he actually felt somewhatâŚ..normal. he felt light.
Lance always made sure to keep some of his AD and AA on him at all times, just in case he had to rush to his classes or accidentally forgot to take them. he didnât expect to be thrown out into space with just a handful of his medication on him and no one actually knowing about his mental problems. he didnât expect to be blown up, destroying what little remained of his medications, protecting the one man who could have made him more of them if he had known about them.
but now, here he was in the middle of space with nothing left of his medication, and all he could do was hope that now that he knew what it was like to actually feel happy and carefree andâŚâŚnormal, he wouldnât be as effected by the sudden stop of his meds. he knew it would take a few days for the medication to completely work out of his system so he took the short amount of time left that he had of feeling normal to make ways for hijm to try and find that normalcy again without the help of his meds.
but soon enough, the dark feelings came back. it was slow at first; taking longer to get ready for training, loosing the energy to go all out during sparring sessions. Lance could tell that the others were picking up on his weird behavior, how he didnât really contribute to conversations anymore and that he even stopped flirting with the princess. it was as if they were watching their blue paladin slowly die right in front of their eyes; and they had no idea as to why. they all became so worried about their friend that they all met together during one of Lanceâs now usual naps.
â Iâm sao worried, what if heâs planning on leaving? what if he just disappears in the middle of the night? what if- what if-â Hunk stammers out, tears threatening to spill as he works himself farther and farther into an anxiety attack. thankfully Pidge takes a hold of his hand and makes him sit down on the sunken couch and does her best to calm him down, â Hunk, its okay. Lance would never just up and leave us. you know that he still loves us and even if he is acting like this, he cares about us too much to ever just leaveâŚâŚright?â Hunk isnt sure if she was trying to goad him into agreeing or if she was trying to find the answer to calm down her own worries about their friend, but he nods anyways, taking a look back up to his friends as a way of saying that heâs okay.
âmaybe it is a bug that has number three acting so out of sorts; like the stomach one that number five got just a few weeks ago!â Coran suggested, getting a few spare chuckles out of Hunk and Shiro. â while that is a good theory Coran, im not sure thatâs what going on with Lance. it doesnât seem like heâs sick with anything; itâs like the life is being sucked right out of him.â Shiro states, getting a gasp from Allura. all eyes turn to her as she whispers â What if this is Haggardâs and Zarkonâs doing? what if they are actually draining the life right out of him.â everyone seem to pale at the thought of it, Shiro unconciously gripping the forearm of his artifical limb.
the tense moment is quickly intrupted as Lance runs into the room, sweat staining his undershirt and a terrified look of desperation painting his face.
âLance?!â
many of the occupants in the room standing as Lance seems to heave a sigh of relief and almost collapses in the doorway, heaving in breath after breath as if he has been running for hours. Thankfully, Coran was close by and caught him from completely falling and helped him slwoly down to the floor, the others immediately rushing to his side.âLance?ââare you okay?ââwhatâs wrong?ââare you hurt?â
everyone asking question on top of question at once, not sure what to do to help and yet wanting to do anything to try. once it seemed like lance somewhat caught his breath, he chokes out âsorry- sorry I-â Shiro takes hold of Lanceâs hands, getting him to look at him. and Shiro was surprised to see such a sad and scared look in his eyes. â Lance, you did nothing wrong. you just scared us a little. can you tell us what got you so panicked?â Lance doesnât seem eager to share, but he manages to squick out â itâs just me being stupid.â Pidge is the one to speak up this time, squirming her way to being face to face with Lance â Lance, you arenât stupid. trust me, Iâm the smartest one around and iâm telling you the truth: you. are. not. stupid.â Lance canât help but let out a breathy chuckle. â but this part of me is.â Pidge puffs up with irriation and is obviously ready to speak up again, when Lance beats her to it â i know, i know im not stupid, but this part of my brain makes me think stupid thingsâ lance starts out strong, trying calm down the others, but the more he talks the quieter and timid he becomes, baiting everyone to barely breath so that they can hear every word, â I thought that it was really quiet and then my anxiety kinda took over and made me start thinking that you all had just left me and that you didnât care about me and i know thatâs stupid; i know that you guys would never do that to me but i couldnât stop thinking like that and i was getting scared that the stupid voice inside my head was right so i started looking for you guys and i didnât find you guys anywhere and that just kept feeding my anxiety more and more and that just fueled the depression and i started running everywhere looking for you guys and iâm sorry, I know iâm ranting and stuff but it was just like before back home and i thought i had better control of it but I-â Lance is immediately cut off by Pidge throwing herself into his lap, knocking him out of his spiralling thoughts and back to his surroundings and noticed that all of his friends were on the brink or already crying, he can feel the small wet patch on his undershirt from where Pidge has buried her head into his stomach, clinging to him as if that would be enough to hold him together. man, he really was falling apart at the seams, huh? he thought he had it under control, but instead it caused him to go back into that dark and negative head space all over again.
âlance? do- do you honestly believe that we would-â keith whispers out, not even having enough strength to finish the sentence
âno! no, i know you guys would never abandon me! its just my anxiety and depression making me think stupid things that i know arenât true and yet it makes things feel like they are. thatâs why i said that that part of me is stupid.â Lance stammers out, clutching to Shiroâs hand and Pidge as he explains. â itâs just been so hard to keep my anxiety and depression under control since i lost my meds.â
âthen why didnât you tell us that you were struggling and needed medinical help? you know we wouldnât have judged you for needing help.â Keith counters, his sadness and betrayal leeching into his words.
Lance looked down at the ground at the words, knowing that they were true, even if Shiro was getting on Keith for being angery at him because of something that Lance couldnât control. âi-â he whispers, catching everyoneâs attention once again, â i thought that you guys wouldnât understand, or that you wouldnât care. i know that it was just those dark thoughts spreading lies in my head, but they can be really persuasive when they want to be.â
Shiro looks back towards Lanceâs hunched over form, unconciously protecting him from the outside world and the ominious what ifs that seem more like mountains to him than the mole hills they truly are.
âLanceâŚ.â shiro waits until Lance finally looks up, a look on his face as though heâs bracing for the worst. â Iâm glad that you shared this with us, it must have been really hard to talk about this. im proud of you.â
it was with those words that Lance felt like he was able to take a full breath again. they didnât hate him for hiding this from them; they werenât going to leave him. and for the first time in weeks, Lance felt like everything was going to be okay, even if its just for a little bit. and thatâs all he could ask for in that moment. everything was going to work itself out.
#langst#voltron#Lance angst#depression#anxiety#did I put in my own experiences in this?#why yes I did#prompt#mental disorder#please if you are taking anti depressants#DONT QUIT THEM COLD TURKEY#Lance#voltron au#platonic paladins
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Chapter 1
Welcome to U.A highschool!
How you got in, you had no clue, but you were thrilled none-the-less as you approached the large building on the first day of school. See, compared to the others at your entrance exam, you hadn't really stood out.
It was a really tough time considering your whole life was spent getting ready for that moment, but you truly underestimated the people you were up against.
One boy, was flying around on burst of fire, knocking out robot after robot, and you were knelt on the floor still disassembling your first one. Throughout it you couldnt stop comparing your own skills to everyone else's, and everyone else seemed better.
So it came as a huge suprise when a hologram of all-might himself announced that you had been scored second place out of all the applicants. Coming in at 68 points. Maybe the stress kept you from actually counting how many robots you had rendered immobile, or completely turned to mush.
After thinking about it, the test really had been catered to your quirk, you were bound to succeed. Quirk- metal shift vs a ton of robots? Why had you been so worried?
The confidence boost from your score led you to this day, a prideful glint in your eyes as you marched through the halls of U.A. trying to find your class.
Rounding a corner, the sight of a large door with 1A on it met your eyes. Why had the door been so tall? Would there be giants in your class? Is that even a quirk that exists?
So many questions circled your mind, as well as excitement. See, spending your earlier years training all the time had really impacted your social life, or lack-there-of. Being busy means no friends, being a nerd means no friends, being cocky means, you guessed it- no friends.
A hero school had to be different, though. Everyone here would understand the need to focus on work, theyd just be able to work together with you. Opening the door, your face held excitement for the possible friends on the other side. Excitement to have conversations with people, instead of your cat, mochi.
What you didnt account for was how scary it would be for somebody who spent the last 16 years being friends with a cat, to talk to other girls. Or boys. Or anyone.
"Hi, my names mina ashido! I saw you at the exam. Your so cool!"
There she was, a pink skinned girl with beautiful curly hair shaking around in an afro as she spoke. Her black and yellow eyes shiny and focused on you. She had you cornered between her well-toned body and the door, jumping around and advancing.
It must've been years since anyone but your mom had called you 'cool'. Must have been months since another kid innitiated conversation with you. Were you meant to know what to say? Were you supposed to be sorry? That was ussually what you said when people confronted you like this at your old school.
A smile was spread across her round cheeks, so she must not be upset with you. Was it an upset smile? Well, best to just apologize and wait to talk to someone more calm.
You tried to tame your wide eyes and flustered stance before looking the ground and muttering an apology.
Little did you know how her face dropped in confusion at the interaction. She had just wanted to make friends after all. Mina had really not understood the apology either, sure that she had definitely given you a complement.
However a green haired boy entered the room and she was quickly distracted.
A new problem arose now. Where to sit? The plan to be friendly and extroverted had taken a fatal plumet, so in the old y/ns nature, you settled at the seat closest to the back. A boy with dual colored hair sat in the desk next to you, looking fairly unbothered by the other students.
Assuming this wasn't on purpose, you figured you'd try again with the friends thing. So after setting your bag down and sitting quietly in your seat. Allowing the ruffles of your skirt to become even more-so.
"Uhm, hi?" You tilted your head at him, in question with yourself.
His eyes lifted from what he was reading to see if he recognized you, when he didn't they returned to his book. Staring only a side glance.
Well there goes your big ol ego from the exam results. Guess you'll take a jump back into the sea of self doubt.
You slumped sadly in your seat, the boy was quite pretty, hair vibrant red and shining white. Pale skin, all over except for a large scar over his eye. You wondered if it hurt? Or was it old enough to just be a painful memory? Was it even a scar, it could be a birthmark?
Thoughts circled your head like that often, you were just always so curious. How could you not be curious when you knew so little?
Shifting uncomfortable in your seat, and relentlessly shraightening your uniform you caught on to the other conversations in the room.
A mean looking boy sat with his feet on the desk, while another frantically told him to stop. It was quite the funny scene, you even found yourself smiling at it. How can it be so easy for them, you wished you had maybe taken more time to read on social dynamics before applying here.
Maybe you could read more about it when you got home? I'd be nice to interact like that some day.
A green haired boy looked very flustered as he spoke with a female classmate. Everyone seemed to be in the class, you counted 20 people.
"If your just here to make friends then you can pack up your stuff now"
I looked all around me but couldnt tell where that deep voice came from. Must be an authoritive figure, or else why would he threaten our places here?
Still not finding the origin of the voice, it spoke again.
"Welcome to U.A.'s hero course.." The monotone of it was quite jarsh, but the voice was soothing in a way. Deep and rumbley and soothing? Your thoughts were getting ahead of you, really.
Then, over by the entrance, a yellow caterpillar stood up and unzipped itself. Wait, what?
Out stepped a black haired man, dressed in a long sleave shirt.
"It took eight seconds for you to shut up, thats not gonna work. Time is precious."
He completely dropped his shell of yellow to the floor.
"Rational students would understand that."
Four students stood right in front of the man, shock and disbelief on their faces. Why hadnt they realized he is our teacher? Are they dumb? If so, how'd they get into U.A.?
From the way he refered to us and his assertive tone, he must be the teacher. Thats also made obvious by our current lack of teacher, him being the only adult in the room. What was that yellow thing though?
"Hello, Im shota aizawa, your teacher."
Yes, you knew that. However, it seems everyone surrounding you was taken aback by this. All simotaneously gasping at his statement.
"Right, lets get to it, put these on and head outside" he held up a p.e. uniform, clear enough instruction.
So students shuffled around to grab uniforms and head to bathrooms til we all made it outside.
-
"What!? A quirk assesment test!?" The whole class question, too loudly for your liking.
However you did question on the inside. It would make sense your teacher wanted to scope your abilities now, that way progress could be measurable. It would also help him know what he is working with.
A squeaky voiced girl worried about missing orientation, but you were dreaming that anyway. You wanted to be a hero, and it wasnt allowed to use your quirk elsewhere. So this was possibly the best start to the day.
"You've been taking standardized tests most of your lives, but you never got to use your quirk before."
Bold of him to assume. You hadn't actually learned that cheating was bad until the age of 10 so, until then, you used your quirk for everything. Cheating tests included, but it would be fun to see how this played out.
The faces around you were all focused and stiff, ready for whatever task this would present. The dual haired boy being amongst those stiff faces, but his seemed almost bored. He didn't really act like he wanted to be her at all.
That made you mad, why even come if you don't wanna be here? Its so hard to get in here, and there were other people like you out there, who have wanted this since they were born. He would waste a spot just so he could be bored?
"Bakugou, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam," Mr.Aizawa adresses that boy you were worried about.
You remembered his face, how he was beating you so fluidly the whole time. However, if he scored highest, your only one rank below him. Hope he is a strong competidor for first, so it'll be all the more glorifying when you take that spot from under him.
"What was your furthest throw with a softball, when you were in junior high?"
"67 meters i think..."
"Right. Try doing it with your quirk. "
-
"Anything goes, just stay in the circle. Go on, your wasteing our time."
"Alright man, you asked for it.." He stretched his arms, confidence written all over his face.
What a fun rival, if only you could actually speak with him. If this is what all of you will have to do, not sure how succecful you can be. You quirk is awesome for sparring and combat, but throwing a ball? Your gonna have to figure that one out quick, before you start of the year with a bad grade.
The blonde swung his arm back, and around in a baseball pitch motion. Then as he release it, some sort of explosion emmited from his hand. Softball no where to be seen, you glanced around at my fellow students. Shock, especially the green haired boy, they were all shocked.
You wanted to be shocked, but you were aware of his power, he really didn't go all out in the entrance exam at all. This blasting was way stronger than what you saw him using on robots.
Yet, you werent shocked, you were impressed, excited, thrilled to have other strong quirks around.
You had to know everyones quirks as soon as possible, you had to make friends. This is why you came here, to be a hero. So when you glanced to your side, at the scar boy with a stone face, another thing was added to your list.
You were gonna get him to want to talk to you.
#todoroki x reader#todoroki fluff#shoto torodoki#todoroki shoto x reader#mha todoroki#mha bakugou#mha deku#mha fanfiction#mha fluff#momo yaoyozoru#momo x reader
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Headcannons for the boys when Netflix started trending
Iâm gonna rant real quick idk wtf happened but apparently this didnât post last night so Here It Is Now
Darry:â¨-I think we all know it took some persuasion from Pony to invest in an account but after a while he gave in and got the up to four screens at a time pack
-Was highkey pissed when all the boys started freeloading off of it
-Heâs all comfy in bed at like 9:30 getting ready to watch OISNB and he gets the message on his tv telling him that too many people are watching at once -He checks whoâs using HIS account
-He picks up his old ass phone (idk but itâs pink and has the coiled wire the bell phones)
-âGOD DAMN IT, STEVE! I JUST WANTED TO WATCH ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IN PEACE AND I GET MY SNACK READY JUST FOR ME TO SEE YOUâRE PLAYING THREE DIFFERENT THINGS AT ONCE?â
- Heâs all causal eating popcorn âListen, Darry. They just put Moana as an option and then I saw that they have Finding Dory too and I donât have time to watch them separately so-â
-âSTEVE!â
-âPS Baby Dory is a-dor-a-ble. Totally deserved more screen time.â
-âSTEVEN RANDLE!â
-âAlthoughâŚI do like Ellen Degeneresâ performanceâŚI find it quite modern and realistic.â
-âJUST TURN ONE OFF SO I CAN WATCH MY SHOW. IVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY, PLEASE. IM NOT GOING TO WORK JUST TO PAY FOR YOU TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY FIX OF CRAZY EYES!â
-âDar, chill itâs like, what? Twelve dollars a monthâ â¨-âeleven ninety-nine.â
- âWaitâŚwhy are you watching Orange is the New Black?â
-âyou know whatâŚforget it. ENJOY YOUR FREELOADING!â He slams the phone so quick. He doesnât ask about the last show
-Darry hates Piper, thinks sheâs a total bitch
-He watches all the trending shows or the unpopular documentaries thereâs no in between
-Heâs a HuGe fan of Stranger Things
-Watches Friday Night Lights thinking itâll remind him of his high school days
-He threatens to cancel the subscription when the boys piss him off
-itâs such a powerful threat that it has never gotten to the point where he actually had to do it, they cut the shit immediately
-legitimately how he gets the boys to get their shit together
Ponyboy:â¨-He convinced Darry by telling him that it would cost less than going to the movies all the time and a lot safer
-Heâs the one constantly reminding everyone that itâs illegal to use their account because theyâre cheating the company
-They all look at other with serious faces then turn back to Pony and laugh their asses off because the law has never stopped them before
-It makes Johnny feel bad but he needs his daily fix of One Tree Hill so he got over it
-The one watching The Great British Baking Show because the American version isnât there but he finds the accents soothing
-He gets frustrated because heâll think he knows what theyâre making but itâs just a word used America that turns out to be a different thing in the U.K. (Stuff like Biscuits)
-tbh doesnât know what theyâre talking about half the timeâŚthat or has never heard of what theyâre making in his entire young life
-He has the masked icon as his âwhoâs watchingâ profile picture
-He somehow managed to convince Darry to get the four screen plan but it was never so that the other guys could use too it was just because he wanted the higher HD quality they didnât offer in the other plans
-If he watches something heâs ashamed of, knowing everyone has access to his history, heâll go delete it
-Its like the My Little Pony marathons never happened
Sodapop: -The one who gave the rest of the gang the username and password
-Worst mistake ever because now Dallas has Darryâs credit card information
-He doesnât watch a lot of Netflix he mostly only went to movies to make Pony happy he only really enjoyed a few
-His attention span is just too short he canât sit still to watch a movie for an hour or two
-Despite that, he can binge shows if he wants to
-If heâs sad heâll watch Clueless and quotes the shit out of it
-Honestly Soda is the type to watch anything from a kids movie to a documentary on GMO foods like he only uses Netflix when he has nothing else to do
-To him itâs just one of those apps you donât want to delete because you might need it but you never really use it
-His icon is the penguin
-He wishes they had a blue penguin
-but they donât so he settles for the orange one
-heâs called the company multiple times to complain heâs waiting for them to call back
Two-bit:â¨-Fought Pony the first couple of days
-âSERIOUSLY? YOU WANT TO TAKE UP A SCREEN SO THAT I CANT WATCH MY OWN NETFLIX BUT LAST WEEK YOU COULDNT TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES?? YOU DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO STAY YOU COULDâVE WALKED AROUND THE MALL!!â
-âListen, PoNyBoNeR. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY watches movies on Netflix itâs all about binging Baby Daddy, my friend.â
-âWEVE HAD THE ACCOUNT FOR A WEEK NOW YOURE SUDDENLY THE NETFLIX MASTER? WE HAVE SEVEN PEOPLE ON THIS ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW!â
-He ignores that last comment and answers the question, âYes. And I say movies suck.â
-âDUDE the reviews for Wonder Woman were crazy I wanted to see it.â
-âYeah, like I want to spend my precious time watching a lil twerp watch a chick flick.â
-Truth is he already went to see it five times
-Actually watches every show out there but mostly comedies
-Rewatches Friends all the time
-Heâs never actually watched a movie tho
-Heâs like Soda he canât sit still long enough
-He wouldnât have a problem buying his own account if he had to but using The Curtisâ is much more fun
-He had the free trial for a month but he canceled his subscription when it was over like he does with every other free trial
Dally:â¨-Only uses the account to watch porn in good quality
-Thatâs literally it Iâm serious he doesnât care for tv shows or movies it doesnât have any other use to him
-Well heâs waiting for a good investment to come along and then heâs swiping that credit card info so quick
-He doesnât use it for show watching purposes but he does fuck around with profile names and changes the pictures to piss Soda off mostly
-He changes the penguin to the Panda and it is a problem because Soda likes penguins and Pandas just arenât the same
Johnny: â¨-He watches the trendy shows and movies sometimes
-He takes Ponyâs recommendations to heart because Pony loves this kinda thing so he figures Pony must know what heâs talking about
-He really likes Once Upon A Time
-And Raising Hope
-And literally any show that surrounds a group of friends because he relates to them for obvious reasons
-Okay but Gossip Girl is his shit
-The last profile has his name on it but the rest of boys share it
-Obsessed with Riverdale
-Pony didnât fight with Johnny about using Netflix because he would tag along to movies before they got an account
â¨Steve:â¨-Always pushed Darry to sign up for Hulu instead because they update faster and itâs the same price for no commercials as the 4 screen plan
-Helps Dally mess up the names
-Shamelessly watches whatever he wants
-Toddlers and Tiaras? Sure.
-My Little Pony? Yep.
-Cupcakes Wars? Hell yeah!
-Just no OITNB because that shit gets too crazy for him (RIP Dylan)
-Watches New Girl like itâs his religion
- He watched Family Guy and American Dad in the actual order they came out except for the first few seasons bc the quality/art style sucked
- Heâs the type of person who need need needs to have something to snack on while heâs watching a show
-like heâll plan it out or just save his food until he watches his show
-Laughed at Pony for spending all his time watching movies but now he never leaves his house because heâs binging shows
-They had the same conversation as the one with Two except Steve watched Wonder Woman seven times and once was with Sodapop who made him swear not to tell Pony
-But heâs a bitch so he exposed him when Soda refused to admit that Rainbow Dash is better than Pinky Pie
-Pony flipped
-Then Two came forward and it was a huge mess
â¨This is for @maxisprettygay and @matt-dillon-trash
IM STILL SO MAD LIKE WHY DIDNT IT POST?? But at least itâs going up now
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THIS CHAPTER: First time, handjob, premature ejaculation.
=Chapter 9
Bowling was a lot of fun for the whole family. Of course, that was only because the parents didnât notice Ruby teasing Yang and trying to make her smell her bowling shoes, but that was only briefly annoying. The rest of the time was a lot of fun, competing against each other, scarfing down pizza and sodas from the snack stand and generally goofing around.
By the end of it, Yang was even starting to feel less weird around Summer. Her brain still twisted the knife by flashing the memories of her nude body at her once in awhile, but it was becoming less frequent and she could easily tolerate that much. Besides, remembering Rubyâs body helped a lot with that.
On the way home, they stopped for frozen yogurt and chatted and laughed. Everything was on the mend; their dad definitely didnât look put out about Yang skipping fishing now that they had some quality father-daughter time in, and they were all talking as normal. Even the occasional guilty look in Summerâs eyes didnât bring down the evening; after all, they hadnât really done anything wrong. Just didnât volunteer an embarrassing story that would have probably made poor Taiyang a little green around the gills. In time, they would forget all about it, other than an occasional wet dream Yang might have when her subconscious mind decided to be an asshole.
By the time they got back, Tai, Ruby and Summer were all pretty tired. After about an hour of TV, they one by one drifted off to bed, Summer the last.
âThis has been⌠a day,â she offered to Yang with a pained smile.
âA pretty good one.â Yang made sure to grin, and without any awkwardness; she wanted her to know that it was already no big deal to her. She noticed her relax, even if only slightly. âSee you tomorrow.â
The woman came over to sit on the edge of the couch where Yang was reclining. Irrationally, she felt tense and wanted to worry about what might happen, but she made herself breathe and remain calm.
âListen⌠again, Iâm very sorry for what hap-â
âDonât. I got a free show, and you got a tan. Thatâs it. Nothing else has to be said; weâre cool.â
âAlright,â she breathed with a small smile. Her hand raised, as if she were going to pet Yangâs hair or a similar show of affection, then drew away again as she thought better of it. âDonât stay up too late.â
âI wonât.â
Once she was alone, she flipped through channels for a while. There was nothing very interesting on, but she found some reruns of an old sitcom that she used to love, and killed some time watching that. Then she got a text messageâŚ
BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey hows it goin down there? n_n
Another grin split Yangâs face. She didnât think her teammate would care enough to message! Rolling over onto her back, she sat up just enough to make it easier to flash her thumbs over the letters.
ME : P good hbu?
BLAKEYWAKEY : Not baaad just chillin w fam c: BLAKEYWAKEY : Is it awk w ur stepmom? Is she being a bitch or
ME : Oh⌠if only u knew lmaooo
So she told her. There were a lot of âWHATâs and âR U SRSâes from Blake along the way, but she mostly just let the story unfold until it was over.
BLAKEYWAKEY : Did u see BUSH?!?!
ME : DUDE NO STOP
BLAKEYWAKEY : Omfg u saw ur stepmoms bush im kinkshaming
ME : Ughhhhhh I wanna die
BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey question BLAKEYWAKEY : I thought u didnât like girls
ME : Well ME : I didnt really know but now I think im bi? ME : Just never had any real dates soooooo
BLAKEYWAKEY : Omg but BLAKEYWAKEY : I showed u mine BLAKEYWAKEY : Oh man I didnât mean to like freak u out
ME : YOU DIDNâT IM FINE
BLAKEYWAKEY : HOW FINE U PERV
ME : Dude pls donât ME : I feel weird enough abt shit here ME : We both know u like dick so donât act like u werenât perving
BLAKEYWAKEY : ...no comment BLAKEYWAKEY : OKAY FINE if it wasnât on u Iâd be all over it
ME : WOW
BLAKEYWAKEY : U KNOW WHAT I MEANNNN shhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Maybe Iâll let u fwb me up if I get antsy
ME : âŚbad Blake down kitty
BLAKEYWAKEY : WHY DO U ALWAYS CALL ME KITTY IâM SNSKHDLSLDS
ME : Anyway⌠yeah maybe I thought she was hot but shes my dads wife ME : Itâs not right
BLAKEYWAKEY : Yeahhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey im sorry for making it awk BLAKEYWAKEY : Ur probably feeling really messed up abt this BLAKEYWAKEY : Im sorry Iâll shut up
ME : Not really but a little yeah ME : And then thereâs⌠ME : Nvm
BLAKEYWAKEY : ???
Yang really did think about it, but there was no way she could bring herself to tell Blake about her illicit affair with her half-sister. Not over text. Maybe sheâd confess to her when she got back for Fall classes.
ME : Anyway tell me about Maine lol do u eat lobster every day
BLAKEYWAKEY : God I wish BLAKEYWAKEY : And do u really think this subject is over?!? What a bad segue
ME : I SAW HER NAKED BIG DEAL
BLAKEYWAKEY : IT KIND OF IS?? For u anyway BLAKEYWAKEY : how big were her boobs
ME : âŚ
By the time Yang was done texting and bingewatching, she felt tired enough to try to go to sleep. Or at least, to lay down and hope that it happened. Worse come to worst, her phone had Netflix.
She poked her head in to check on Ruby once she was all washed up and changed. She was asleep and snoring quietly; it was such a gentle noise that she couldnât believe Ruby had once acted like it would bother Yang. Smiling, she tiptoed over and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
âHm?â
âShhhh. Goodnight.â
âHey,â Ruby breathed, smiling up at her. âUm⌠stay here?â
âWhat?â
âStay. Sleep here.â She nipped her sheets open for emphasis.
âNah,â she whispered back with a grin. âItâs okay, I can survive until morning.â
But then Ruby pouted, and she knew she was lost. Rolling her eyes, she walked back to ease the door shut, then slid into the bed next to her sister.
âYouâre really warm,â Yang whispered to her.
âYour legs are cold.â They both giggled. âBut theyâll be warm, too, in a minute.â
âWhiny brat.â
Pulling Yangâs arms more tightly around her middle, Ruby whispered, âYou wanted to.â
âHow do you know?â
âBecause you did it. And you didnât even act that grumpy first.â
Dead to rights. Again. Grinning into Rubyâs neck, she said, âI feel so good next to you like this.â
âOhâŚâ Yang had thought that was it, until she heard a little sniffle half a minute later.
âRuby?â
Swallowing hard, she clutched at Yangâs arms tighter. When nothing further transpired for a few seconds, and Yang was still waiting for an answer, tense now instead of relaxed, she spoke up⌠and it became clear why she was so quiet before.
âI love you so much. I⌠kinda forget it, until y-you say something like that⌠s-sorry, I donât m-mean to get so⌠to get all sappy aboutâŚâ
âRuby⌠I love you, too.â
After a few seconds, Ruby rolled to face her, eyes dark from the low lighting in the room gazing up at her. They didnât speak for a while; just looked at each other and knew things that no one else would ever know. Then they kissed, chaste at first, more robust after a minute or two. No words.
When Yang felt a pink little tongue poking its way into her mouth, she withdrew and whispered, âRuby⌠what are you doing? Itâs lateâŚâ
âI want thisâŚâ
âWhat?â Another lick along her bottom lip, making Yang shiver. âYou have me here already.â
âBut I want you to be with me. I⌠I wantâŚâ
So thatâs what she meant. Gulping, Yang reached up to pet along Rubyâs back through her tank. âThereâs no rush, though.â
âYeah, but there is. We only have a couple more weeks! And youâll be gone! So⌠so I want to start now, I want to do as much as we can!â
The urgency alone threatened to make Yang give in. However, she was made of tougher stuff. Reaching up and grasping her bicep, she managed to catch Rubyâs eyes.
âWhy? Itâs⌠I like what weâre already doing.â
âBut I want to do everything with you.â Swallowing, she glanced away, then up at Yang again. âI want you to f-feel⌠feel how wet I amâŚâ
At that little turn of phrase, Yang almost fell out of the bed. âYou what?!â
âSHH!â Ruby warned, though neither of them were loud enough to be heard, even by someone sitting right outside the door. Then she followed up with, âKissing you⌠it makes my body heat up, my brain go fuzzy. I kinda love it, even while it makes me worried⌠but none of thatâs the point. The point is, Iâm so close to you, and I want to be even closer!â
âRubyâŚâ That was certainly making her own situation no better. While just kissing, her body had only responded a little, but now that her half-sister had revealed her own situation, she couldnât stop thinking about it long enough to make it go away. Quite the opposite.
A shaky little laugh passed out of Ruby when she felt it. âO-oh, there you are. A little late to the party!â But she didnât spend much time on that. Again, her lips were mashing into Yangâs as they kissed, bodies sliding over each other a little in their eagerness to feel more, to experience.
After some time, when she felt her own shorts being forced downward, Yang whispered, âThis isnât okay.â
âI know,â Ruby breathed. âBut itâs okay with us. â
âIâŚâ How could she argue with the truth?
Feeling Rubyâs hand directly around her was far different than feeling it through her shorts. If she hadnât finished herself off so much the past days, she might have succumbed easily⌠but instead, she merely put up with the teasing, exploring hand, the fingers poking into her flesh slightly as they glided up and down along the throbbing mass.
âItâs so hard,â Ruby told her with an earnest tone. âYouâre so hard. Is this for me?â
âU-uh-huh,â she managed before swallowing. âYes.â
âI, um⌠I got us a little something. Yesterday. Call me a âplan aheadâ kinda girl.â
Reaching behind them into her table, she brought out a little pack of condoms. There werenât very many, but it was an entire packâs-worth more than Yang expected to see.
âOh my god⌠really? You seriously thought we⌠but weâre related! This isnât just messing around and kissing, thatâs a whole other-â
âI know, okay? But⌠no more hiding from it. I love you, and you love me, and this is⌠kinda part of that. Just dumb not to at least be ready for if it happens.â
As Ruby opened the box, Yang tried to ignore how badly her body was trying to get her to take Ruby up on her offer and failed. Not even the cute and amusing sight of her struggling with the box was enough; she still wanted to be with her in that way. Still liked everything that Ruby was.
âThere we go,â she breathed at last, holding up the shiny packet. Her eyebrows waggled, and Yang rolled her eyes, which only earned her a laugh.
âLike you know how to put one of those on.â
âI do! We did it to bananas in health class. Here, Iâll prove it to you.â
âWhatâs- whoa, youâreâŚâ
Ruby had shimmied down to hover with her face just over Yangâs crotch, a face amongst a pool of blankets. She looked a bit distracted by how close she was to the object of her interest⌠but she managed to push the desire back for long enough to rip open the packet and pull out the little ring of latex.
âMmm,â she breathed as she pushed a kiss into Yangâs head⌠and she felt her mind go blank. Ruby wasnât just touching her tonight, it seemed. There was so much more in store! âSo goodâŚâ
Rolling her eyes, she muttered, âYou canât be serious. One kiss on my dick is âso goodâ?â
âYeah.â Bald honesty shone in her voice.
âO-oh? Really?â Another loving peck along her warm shaft, probably purely to prove herself. âYouâre pretty⌠convincingâŚâ
âI love this dick,â she confessed easily. âIt kinda got us talking about us , weird as it is.â Then she began to roll the latex downwardâŚ
And all of a sudden, Yang realised she had a real problem. She wasnât just ready for sex; she was ready to finish. Ruby was doing too good a job! Every movement intended to move the latex protection a little further along her member was one that made it ready to shoot. That early on, she was already biting her lip and writhing back and forth, hoping to resist.
âOoh, someoneâs eager.â Grasping the base, she pumped her hand a few times, causing Yang to gasp out. âNice!â
âRuby⌠y-you gotta stop!â
That seemed to catch her by surprise. Pumping her fist up and down furiously for a second, she smirked and whispered, âNah. I wanna make sure you stay ready for me.â
âB-but if you- if- NNHHHH!!!â
The last part was somehow growled into the pillow at the last second, instead of the room at large. As much as she was convulsing and gasping out, she knew Ruby would probably figure out soon enough what was going on⌠but for the time being, she was still being stroked and loving every second.
Then the younger half-sister did start, glancing between the end of the balloon entrapping her sex and Yangâs face, stretched wide in release.
âOh shit⌠did you- did we really just-â
âIâm so sorry, dude,â Yang half-wheezed, eyes closing in distant pleasure from the hand still wrapped around her. âSeriously⌠you were all about this, doing so much, and then, I⌠I suck! Obviously!â
Smiling gently, Ruby patted her thigh, releasing her spent length in the process. âIâm sorry! God, I really didnât think you were that close to- I wasnât trying- WOW, you came just from that?!â
Her face burned with embarrassment. This was even worse than the fact that they were crossing societal lines to be together; she couldnât even seem to handle that âtogetherâ part without losing control way, way too early. She wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.
âOh⌠awww, Yang, itâs okay,â Ruby cooed when she finally realised how much this was affecting her. Her arms circled around her back. âHeyâŚâ
âThat was p-pathetic!â she snapped into the pillow. âGod, after yesterday, I thought I could hold out longer!â
âYang, I donât care about that! Iâm⌠it makes me happy that felt so good that you couldnât wait.â Her smiling face pushed in closer to Yangâs, and she kissed both of her cheeks. âYou did tell me to slow down and I⌠I should have listened. Iâm really sorry. Um, I just didnât want you to go soft while I was putting it on?â
Finally, she began to calm down, little by little. When she could talk again, she let out a long sigh and whispered, âThanks, Ruby. I, um⌠I think you really wanted this to be⌠like, our first time? And⌠now it canât be.â
âY-yeah, I um, Iâve heard that⌠people with dicks canât go again when theyâre done.â To her credit, she did remember not to say âguysâ that time. âBut itâs cool! You finished, and Iâm happy to help. Oh, and speaking of whichâŚâ
As Yang watched, fascinated and still embarrassed, Ruby pulled the condom off and threw it and the wrapper away, then wiped her hands on a tissue and tossed that before returning to the bed. In the meantime, Yang pulled her shorts back up; she didnât want Rubyâs first real look at her anatomy being when it was freshly-milked and half-hard, coated in leftover lube and her own juices.
âAwww,â Ruby cooed as she returned to the bed. âI wanted to play with that.â
âNot tonight,â Yang said with a half-smile. âMaybe⌠I can do something for you?â
But when her hands fell to Rubyâs waist, the girl looked down with a self-conscious giggle. âN-nah. I m-mean, I, um⌠I donât think IâmâŚâ Then she cleared her throat. âI thought I was ready to go there with you, I guess, but like, just you doing it for me is different somehow. Thatâs probably really dumb.â
Wrapping her arms around Rubyâs back instead, she simply laid next to her for a long moment. Then, once they were a little more comfortable, she spoke.
âItâs not dumb. Itâs⌠sweet, in a way. But I think⌠I think Iâd be okay playing with you now. And I know, I was kinda weird about it at first, because of the sister thing. But by now I think weâre kind of past that, I guess. So⌠if you change your mind, I could try a hand, at least. O-or something.â
âListen to us,â Ruby giggled quietly. âBoth pretty nervous. I, um⌠I think itâs kind of more fun with you being my sister. No, wait!â she squeaked when Yang drew back in shock. âYou know, because weâre kind of, like⌠destined to be together, because weâre related? I know, Iâm crazy, but itâs weirdly romantic to me.â
Shaking her head, she pushed her face into her sisterâs neck. âYou think too much. But⌠maybe, yeah. AndâŚâ Sheâd been worrying about this for a long time. âAnd I kind of deserve this, for being such a jerk when you were little. Telling you that you were âdumbâ or whatever, and that I didn't like you. Like, what makes more karmic sense than for me to fall in love with you and have to eat my own words?â
âSo you think of this as a punishment? Me jerking you off is a punishment?â
âWhat? Oh! Shit, no, that totally isnât-â But Rubyâs laughter cut her off, and she grunted, âYou buttâŚâ
âYeah, you like my butt.â
âAll of you is on the list, and all of you is a butt,â she sighed as she snuggled against her even more closely. âBig, ridonk badonkadonk.â
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