#i wish i could say 'i hope these people learn' but i dont think theyre capable of doing so
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
actually scammers taking advantage of the genocide to make money are The Worst People
#avil speaks#i can't believe just how /many/ scammers there are that are trying to take advantage of this and stomping on people who ACTUALLY need#the help#how heartless do you have to be that you see people getting killed/dying of starvation infection etc#and your thought is that this is the perfect opportunity to be taking money from them? money that could help them evacuate or get the#supplies they need??#its ridiculous how many there are /here/#ive seen way more here than twitter but its just Exhausting#listen since yesterday ive just been in a crap mood bc of personal life nonsense#so maybe im just digging my foot into shit that i ought to ignore instead#but it just makes me a little pissed on behalf of people who need the help#i wish i could say 'i hope these people learn' but i dont think theyre capable of doing so#anyways sorry everyone ill chill and go focus on something else instead#i havent been scammed or anything i just keep seeing a bunch of posts about them and it just makes me mad
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
MY VENTURE HEADCANONS!!! :3
copy pasted from my tiktok plus some :3
AAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ U DONT UDNERTSND
~☆~
• wants to take care of plants but cant due to their job
• forgets to drink water a lot
• one time passed out due to dehydration, the wayfinder society found them in a cave and they had to be in the emergency room for a day
• since then, they got an app on their phone that buzzes when they should drink water and itll water a virtual plant :3
• unironically loves classical music
• likes to scour the internet in their spare time to listen to different music genres from different eras
• wishes they could learn intruments, especially ancient ones that people dont typically play anymore but cant cause of the time their job takes, but they still admire people who do play those intruments still!!
• their parents are missing and are pressumed dead and they hope that by being an archeologist they can find them one day
• used to cry as a kid when people would squish ants :(
• they think they dont have time for a partner, so theyre not really looking for one, but wouldnt be opposed to having one if they met the right person
• if they did meet someone they were interested in, would be super estatic and friendly, talking to them a lot, looking for them when they enter a room, etc
• would prefer an in-person relationship, they would be willing to try long distance but with how much they travel for their job, they will end up not being happy because they feel like they have to choose between their partner and passion :((
• they would end up romantacising the person theyre interested in and get disappointed when they dont live up to their fantasies
• really good at coming up with art n crafts ideas, bad at executing them
• autism
• used to be super interested in internet history as a kid, like random events that went down on the internet n stuff, but not so much anymore since theyre an archeologist now
• fav ice cream is rocky road (who would've guessed)
• messy eater
• love language is gift giving and quality time
• speaking of gift giving, if they liked someone they would def research crystal meanings and give them specific crystals based on their meaning
• need some extra luck? they're giving u aventurine, got into trouble recently and need protection? boom amethyst, they like you but they're too scared to say so? they're giving you rose quartz daily and hope you get the hint
• LOVES those shark tooth necklaces and wears one under their sweater (mostly just cuz they don't want it to get caught on something while working and have it fall off)
• any vacations they get from work, they always make sure to visit their grandma and tell her all about their adventures and findings !!
• thinks people with crooked teeth are the absolute cutest (totally not a self insert for me cuz I got crooked teeth ahahahaa nope)
• when they paint their nails they always just do it messily and just let the excess nail polish on their fingers to fall off ☠️☠️ (same)
• can def carry a conversation if ur shy or just don't talk a lot
• has a social media platform where they post cool things they find, after becoming associated with Overwatch, it gains traction
• after their profile gains attention, it actually becomes an in-universe meme/rumor that they chipped their tooth eating a rock
• Sloane thought it was funny, but they eventually come out and make a post saying they chipped their tooth after a rock came flying at their face while drilling 😞
• asexual cuz I said so
• u know that one dinosaur death pose fossil? they have something like that tattooed on their body
• also a compass tattoo probs
• is the BEST hugger
• when they're excited to see you, they'll hug u n pick u up n spin u around n everything
• is the type to see smth random and go "so-and-so would like this" and just get it without seconds thoughts
• used to draw in high school, but kinda stopped after joining the wayfinders
• is incredibly embarrassed by said drawings and would only show you if you either also showed something equally embarrassing or if yall are extremely close....
• had a lego phase
• Sloan and Junkrat send each other random cryptic texts that wouldn't make sense to anyone else looking at them, but it makes sense to them (it'd be stuff like random images or words or gibberish that'd make u go "what ☠️") (and it'd be at such random intervals like a random text from junkrat at 2am and Sloan doesn't send anything back until 3 days later at noon like???)
• I'm sorry but they're a bad texted lmfao they forget to check their phone all the time
• but they're def not a dry texter tho, they'd use faces like :D D: :p :) :3 >u< ): and type in all caps when they're excited with typos
~☆~
I COULD WRITE MORE BUT IF I CONTINYE ILL LITERSLLT BE HERE FOR HOURS SO I HAVE TO STOP
ANYWAYZ THAMK U FOR LISTENINGN TO ME RAMBLE ABOUT VENTURE BECUZ I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ IM SO OBSESSED WITH THEM N IM LIKE AAA AAAAANAAA AAA
anyways
yea
:3 eeeee
#venture#venture headcannons#overwatch#overwatch 2#venture overwatch#venture x reader#venture ow2#overwatch venture#overwatch headcanons#venture save me#save me venture#venture one chance pls#ONE CHANCE#headcanon
88 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you think yuyuyu is ableist?
sheesh, talk about a loaded question
definitely opens up a lot of rabbit holes. ill give my opinion, but note im not the most educated on the subject itself so giving a definite answer is outside my scope.
ill put a read below, but for me, i personally think it isnt, but can be easily misinterpreted as is on a surface level.
tldr, ableism is discrimination towards those with disabilities.
the character in question most of the time when it comes to these topics is tougou, who uses a wheelchair in season 1 due to losing function in her legs. there are never any distasteful jokes made about this, and the show constantly shows various handicap friendly services throughout the show. something even more surprising is that these are never the core focus of the scene or pointed out, its always well integrated into the world as if it were normal (important).
just skimming through s1, we have:
wheelchair assistance integration for both cars and stairs
special swim courses for the disabled, not separated from the rest of the class
beach wheelchairs and separate assistants
now while we can assume a lot of these were due to her previous service as washio sumi, i dont think that would really be fair to the production team putting these in, and it really feels like theres a lot more heart than "yeah we put these for the big shock value realization later on". even after regaining function in her legs near the end of the season, tougou's priority was always towards yuuna and her recovery.
onto the next topic, which is the show taking away and then returning these characters functions throughout. whats important to consider here is what is considered tragic, is it the characters living without these certain functions, or is it the act of losing these functions themselves?
"It'll definitely improve. I mean, we haven't done anything wrong." (Fuu, s1ep9) again, no distasteful jokes made about their disabilities, and fuu even plays it off with her sick eyepatch. her worries instead stem from the loss of itsuki's dream, in the form of her no longer being able to sing. thats the key factor here, being punished for doing what is right, losing the ability to do what you could do before, losing the memories of the time you spent with your friends. (thats another thing i see with a lot of these arguments, they always bring up physical disabilities, but ive never seen one actually talk about ones regarding memory, arguably the most precious thing to them). tougou flat out doesnt remember sonoko at all despite being comrades in arms before, and understandably freaks out that the same might happen with her and yuuna.
now, understandably, the ending to s1 seemed super rushed, and them getting their bodily functions back seemed rather sudden. this put a lot of people off, and was really only explained in s2, which many didnt watch.
people should be allowed to grieve if they lose something important to them, and should be allowed to be happy if they get it back. personally, i dont think people realize the weight of their words when they say, "oh i wish karin wouldve stayed deaf, itd be really cool to see the club members learning sign language for it" or "yuuna in a wheelchair was really cute, i wish we saw more of it." yeah its a cool idea i guess, maybe something to see while theyre stil recovering, but forever? in a chase to see more representation, i hope they realize what they are wishing onto others eventually (even if fictional). while many with disabilities are satisfied with their life, they should be able to wish for better if they wanted to, its not like theyd wish their circumstances on anyone else, right? shouldnt the same apply here, to the girls who've actually lived both with and without disabilities?
just my two cents, hope this wasnt too hard to read! theres a lot more i could write up, especially regarding sonoko, but thats a whole other discussion i should probably save for another time
#this is like a month old ask but i. h really didnt feel like answering it because of how long itd be yeah#yuyuyu#yuki yuna is a hero#yuuki yuuna wa yuusha de aru
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.
I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress
finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.
I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.
I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.
I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.
lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc
No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.
It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.
The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.
That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.
Plain text below the cut:
No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.
It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.
The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.
That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.
#aspd-culture-is#aspd culture is#aspd culture#actually aspd#aspd#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#aspd traits#anons welcome
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
TCW Rewatch: Season 3 Episodes 5-8
More Satine episodes. I don’t even disagree with her like goals and motivations I just personally dont like her personality and methodology.
Tbf i also really dont like the portrayal of Mandalore in general in this series. These notes i think explain my issues with this portrayal fairly well tho.
Episode 5: Corruption
* More Satine episodes oh boy…
* Satine wins neutrality for Mandalore but this brands her an outsider from the Republic and makes it difficult to aid the mandalorians
* Padme goes to Mandalore for a diplomatic visit hoping to alleviate tension as Mandalore is consumed with greed
* In the masses of the Mandalorian people is spotted one (1) person of color in the swathes of blonde or red haired, white people
* Arguing about trade routes and smuggling supplies
* Discussions of war, neutrality, and corruption between padme and satine, padme says she sometimes wishes she could follow mandalore in becoming a neutral planet, she also says she works to overcome the corruption of the republic and that she believes it is possible to do so
* Children are getting poisoned
* She says the terrorist attacks have only been targeted at her and her administration as if they didnt plant a bomb in a populated area and harm innocents if im remembering correctly
* The sterility of Mandalore irks me, I know it’s probably meant to be this like “ooh look how clean and peaceful” but it just looks offputting this is supposed to be a school for children and it looks like a stereotypical mental institution. Theres no color, the children where drab grey uniforms, its so strange
* And again there are only blonde white children in that entire cafeteria
* It took children getting poisoned to admit to corruption? Not the multiple traitors youve had to deal with?
* Greed kills
* Padmes such a badass i love her
* Ah… That Scene… this is another example of what i dislike about Satine bc shes being totally unreasonable her, she wants to destroy evidence for her own investigation, and when someone says “but you’re destroying evidence thats not a good idea” she threatens to arrest him for something he didnt do, effectively framing him for what? Having the audacity to point out the flawed logic?
* Also coming back to the “we sent all of our warriors to the moon” thing, what about your literal police force?
* She understands that her government is corrupt but what is she really doing to root out the corruption?
* Almec says he will investigate
* It is a good idea to take this to the Jedi directly as opposed to taking it to the Republic bc they would just send the Jedi anyway and the Republic will just turn them away for their neutrality
Episode 6: The Academy
* Love that it recognizes that Mandalore is deeply corrupt, instead of doubling down on the whole idyllic peace bullshit facade they have
* Also did they ever actually come to a conclusion on the trade issues? I dont think so but like thats hella important
* Im saying this now but i do not subscribe to the Korkie is a Kenobi theory and actively dislike it for so many reasons
* Ahsoka explains corruption very well, i especially like the “its every citizens duty to challenge their leaders” although Satine probably would disagree all things considered
* Shes accidentally radicalizing the students its great
* Who are these goat guys? They keep showing up
* Ofc the police are corrupt, theyre police
* He totally couldve lost his leg there
* What a surprise… the prime minister is the traitor…
* So was Satine aware of Almec? I assume she was already investigating
* Ok that’s torture
* And coercion but i dont think thats a war crime
Episode 7: Assassin
* Aurra Sing is DEAD??? Since when???
* Do you think someone should explain to her that learning more on the field than at the temple is not a jedi thing? This is another example of Ahsoka being trained as a soldier and commander rather than a jedi padawan
* Is she worried about Anakin? If so thats sweet
* Oh shes traumatized
* “Troubled” Yoda its called trauma
* Or its just a nightmare
* Baby you are a Padawan, a Student, you are meant to study and learn. You arent a soldier
* So Aurra Sing is alive supposedly and targeting Padme
* Bail and Padme are meant to lead a conference on Alderaan concerning refugees from the war. It is nice to see some of the senators genuinely care for the people.
* Padme and Ahsoka have a cute relationship very older sister, or rather older sister in law
* They really dont seem to be teaching visions very well at Jedi school even though it doesn’t seem to be liek that uncommon
* All these bitches got visions why are you not teaching them about said visions? The children are glimpsing the horrors, Yoda!!
* An almost successful assassination attempt
* I do love when padmes allowed to be badass, i totally get why Anakin would be in love with her even if theyre both so toxic
* Oh wait its ziro?? I wasn’t expecting that i swear i watched this show before
* Whats the deal with ziro??
* Wait is it bc of the hostage situation at the end of season 1? I dont remember how that ended
Episode 8: Evil Plans
* Is this the cad bane torturing droids episode?
* I just love to see Todo and Bane
* R2 is such a diva i love it
* I know coruscant is meant to be like epitome of corruption in the GFFA but goddamn is it ugly hidden behind the pretty lights
* Does that make sense or is it just the ADHD brain talking
* Bane knows R2 by name? Ok ig
* I actually still havent picked up on what Bane is looking for
* In my defense my brain fog makes my ADHD worse and i dont wanna rewatch the episode
* Why does Jabba need the Senate floor plans?
* Does this episode take place pre- season 1 episode 22? I still have no idea if Ziro was recaptured or not
* Wait why does R2 even have the senate floor plans?
War Crime Counter:
Separatists: 13
Republic: 7
No new war crimes this time only because idk if i should count them considering the guilty parties arent on the board
#sw#star wars#tcw#the clone wars#my rewatch of tcw#do i even tag it anti satine? its very minor#anti satine kryze#i guess
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
spn s14 spoilers
s14 ep1(stranger in a strange land)
i want to watch spn but at the same time i dont. last 2 seasons. i dont want to say goodbye. but i need to kearn how their stories end. i must say dean looks amazing. they'll find dean, sam and cas theyre trying so hard.
s14 ep2(gods and monsters)
poor nick, lucifer used him. i love bobby. when he came back i didnt think we would see him this much. its nice to see him he is like our bobby but he is not him. i wish he could come back. cas' speech was beautiful, he changed so much. i love him. jack is right and i dont like that. dean would agree with jack. but dean cant die theyll find another way. and theyll save dean. why didnt cas go with nick? dean isnt dean its Michael right? that was the plan. i hope he is dean but i dont think so.
s14 ep3(the scar)
dean is back. the beard, really dean. I thought Kaia's story would be left unfinished. im glad theyre telling it. Jack is still young and has been through so much already. jack saved the girl. and now he is sick. i love dad cas, when he is talking to jack he is awesome. dean said yes and saved his brother and son. yes michaelhurt people but dean did what he had to do.
s14 ep4(mint condition)
dean wanted a friend like stuart. when he was mad at his dad he could just go and hang out with his friend. he now has cas but it wouldve been nice for him when he was young. i love fanboy dean. his love for movies is beautiful. i hope they can have a nice halloween next year. i would like to see the cosplay.
s14 ep5(nightmare logic)
jack and cas finally went to hunt. i wish we could see that. i love bobby but he needs to be more chill. he is bobby but not our bobby. our bobby's relationship with the boys was different, it was beautiful. i missed him. i didnt think bobby would live this long. i thought they would kill him. im glad he is alive. i am not sure about bobby and mary tho.
s14 ep6(optimism)
i missed Charlie. They had planned everything but the "old man" destroyed Dean. He never expected this. he is offended. jackrealy played his role. i like both of them. they are amazing. i like how both of them thinks Michael is their fault and not the other ones. i love how jack is trying to convince dean to forgive himself. i liked how sam convinced Charlie to stay. i missed our Charlie and bobby. jack is truly a winchester. he is not okay.
s14 ep7(unhuman nature)
hi cas! nick learned some stuff from luci, like torturing:(. dean let jack drove the baby:'). and what is wrong with dean? jack is their son dean'S cas' and sam's. and they love him so much. i mostl forget jack is just a baby. at least rowena helped, it was nice of her. nick is a psychopath. he lost his mind. if he doesnt want to feel those feelings he shouldve asked for help from the boys or he couldve killed himself but he chose lucifer. when lucifer comes back there will be chaos. hell cause so much pain but nick doesnt even care. i thnik luci will save jack probably not willingly but i think jack will live because of him. maybe hell get his grace back.
s14 ep8(byzantium)
no no no no. this cant be happenning jack cant die. dean and cas werent with him. even if they were he cant die. theyll bring him back. im glad kelly got the chance to see her boy. the winchesters and cas, they raised jack well. he is amazing. empty is ruthless. im glad it didnt take cas now but it will take him when he is finally happy. i hope it cant but this story will end, cas' story will end. and i guess thats how it will end. this is bad but for now both cas and jack are safe. im happy for lily she saved jack and she got her reward in the end. the winchesters are back together again. i wish Chuck would come. he couldve beaten Michael easily. and the boys wouldnt have to fight with him. but Chuck is with his sister idek what theyre doing but it wouldnt take long to kill Michael. boys are great dads. they have their son back, they really love their son. i love seeing team free will 2.0. they are all amazing.
s14 ep9(the spear)
no garth wouldnt do that. i think he is working with the winchesters. i love garth. i think i love ketch too. he did some(a lot maybe) bad things but he is trying to do the right thing. i dont like the fact that dean lied to kaia. yes they need the spear, hopefully theyll keep their end of the deal and return her to her home. why did Michael let sam live? what did he do to him? no! Michael took dean, again. dean isnt gone hell beat Michael. dean will win.
s14 ep10(nihilism)
hi pamela. dean's dream, its beautiful. but where is jack in that dream? i cant ake Michael serious. he has dean's face. btw ill always choose dean againts anyone and anything. because hell always win he is always on the right side. jack shouldnt believe what Michael says. im the cage?! dean is so powerfull. hell keep him there for a while. at least billie helped them. 1>14,000,605. dean will save the World, again.
s14 ep11(damaged goods)
Dean says goodbye to everyone. thats not good, hes going to do something. well, what deans doing is not the perfect solution but it can provide more time for others to find a good way to get out of this situation. dean didnt say goodbye to cas and jack?
s14 ep12(prophet and loss)
i thought nicks story ended. dean you did everything you could do for sammy and you are still apologizing. sam, did it. he conviced dean.
s14 ep13(lebanon)
No one can steal the baby. i hate that girl. omg! he wanted his dad. john is back. winchesters are back together. cant they be happy just for once. constantine:) . im glad they all got to spend time together but i hoped john could stay and they could be happy. but this is supernatural and they dont get happy endings most of the time.
s14 ep14(ouroboros)
jack is using his soul more:(. i love rowena more now. rowena cares about them. she cares about jack. i dont want jack to be soulless. yes jack is a winchester and i think cas is a winchester too. if Michael is really dead and jack got his power back then whats gonna happen rest of the season?
s14 ep15(peace of mind)
jack doesnt have a soul, great! well, at least he is trying to do good things.
s14 ep16(don't go in the woods)
i dont like those kids. i hope we'll never see them again.
s14 ep17(game night)
nick became lucifer. i couldnt tell the differance. he was a monster. jack didnt do wrong, if he didnt kill nick he would try to do the same thing again. yes something is wrong with jack but he will get better. Mary pushed Jack too hard, maybe if she left him alone for a few minutes he would be able to pull himself together.
s14 ep18(absence)
No, Jack couldn't have killed Mary. dean and sam theyll be devastated. dean dont be mad at cas. he was just trying to do what he thought was right. The flashback scenes are killing me. I get sadder with each scene. There is 1 season left, I have been watching their stories for 3 months. I don't know how to say goodbye to them. rowena changed so much, i like the winchester affect. she cares about jack and the others. i didnt think mary would die. but she did.
s14 ep19(jack in the box)
hi bobby! i hate dumah now, i didnt like her before and now she is worse. Jack is very open to manipulation. cas did a good thing. dumah doesnt deserve that kinda power. They should have known that box couldn't hold Jack. Dean can be so cruel sometimes, he lied to Jack so easily. and sam he wasnt okay with it he struggelled while lying to jack. i hope they can figure this out. and thing could be way it was. lucifer always makes everything worse.
s14 ep20(moriah)
Chuck!! if jack was sam den would do anyhing to save sam. jack could be saved. jack will return only he can beat Chuck. and he will beat Chuck, he has to. Chuck is a monster. jack is just trying to be good. im glad dean didnt kill jack. he saw jack was struggling and he was trying to do te right thing so he didnt kill him. 1 last season
#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#jack kline#rowena macleod#team free will#team free will 2.0#spn#bobby singer#charlie bradbury#mary winchester#john winchester#jody mills#donna hanscum#garth fitzgerald iv#claire novak
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Congrats on finishing Trollstopia! What are your final impressions?
okay, closing thoughts, none of which are particularly "clean" or "organised" or whatever but theyre what i think
so many of the morals were either nonsensical (keep it up) had good intentions but fumbled the execution (race to the crest) or outright harmful (potluck poppy). the show is at its best when you treat it like a sitcom, and not a cartoon that was teaching kids that other cultures foods are icky and undeserving of respect if they arent exactly like their own
it was so. so sorely felt that they were forced to have a song in EVERY episode instead of every other episode. dont get me wrong, some of them were good! (off the top of my head, i like "make some noise" and "a song so sweet" (synth has a really nice singing voice and they shouldve let him use it more!) and all of dantes ones were really funny bc they were usually silly lyrics on top of real life classical pieces) but most of them were........ well. forced. i hope in the tbt cartoon they go back to one song per 2 episodes, so they can make the songs actually DECENT (most of the time)
val started off as a HORRIBLE character, utterly unlikable in every way and it made every episode about her intolerable. she slowly got better though, after s1 it was like the writers realised they made her a terrible person (did they see the reaction to her? WAS there a reaction? did people love her back then?) and they toned her down and slowly made her actually develop as a character in ways none of the others did, and she actually ended up being pretty good! i like how she started mean, then grew to regret how she used to be and wants to be better. its just... yknow. its trollstopia. they fumble the execution sometimes. val did nothing wrong in murray duty, thats a dumb rule
as much as i love holly darlin........ i wish they went in the exact opposite direction for her character. in world tour, country trolls are established as being pretty gloomy (but not complete sad sacks!) so having holly be optimistic and upbeat to the point she rivals (and surpasses!) poppy? it does NOT make her a good representative of her tribe, and for the most part it seems like they forgot country trolls are supposed to be gloomy anyway... but they remembered in "the farmer and the hound"! overall i wish holly was a more subdued, melancholic character. she can still show southern hospitality (actual southern hospitality. not just her SAYING she has southern hospitality. also lonesome flats isnt even in the south of troll kingdom) but she can be a lot more quiet about it. maybe holly can ALSO develop as a character the way val did, and slowly start to show more outward joy as the series progresses, similar to branch getting happier. she and branch could even have been besties, since branch said he liked country music in the movie!
i wish they spread the focus a little more. obviously val and holly were the "main" ambassadors and i fully expected them to get the most focus, but it felt like dante got way more focus than like, the entire funk tribe combined. and to an extent i get it i mean dante is an incredible character and was clearly the crews favourite so it makes sense they used him a lot even if he wasnt the star, but... couldnt it have been spread out more evenly? maybe when you look at like, statistics itd look better but it felt like dante was always at the scene of the crime (it was a lot better in s7 though! perhaps they learned...) and i wish characters like laguna and lownote got a bit more love
and finally: i cant wait for the tbt cartoon. i know none of the main trollstopia characters will be in it and ill miss them dearly but im so excited for whats in store
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm half hoping the Hells run into some devout kryn, because it'd be interesting to see them deal with the parallels with the predathos followers of "all the gods are shit except this thing" and the doomsday goal where they could destroy the planet like mercer pointed out. Not to mention their method of lite immortality and reincarnation into people's children running against Ludinus's deal.
talking about the luxon is hard because my thoughts on it are wreathed in layers of meta like nothin else.... let's just say first off we're definitely getting that pov, as the kryn have aeor encircled (as we know from both the c2 aeor arc/frida & deanna during the c3 molaesmyr arc), and the discovery of ashton would be.... heresy? ascension? to them.
i think the luxon, in all its parralels to predathos and its domain of space & time, is kind of.... the answer to all this? the kryn are incorrect in their belief that the luxon was discovered by them, but i dont think theyre wrong about it in other ways. frankly i, someone who people think is a god hater for my analysis of the pantheon's actions, trust it. it has been used & abused throughout history whilst not even fully formed. where the pantheon & betrayers have had entire lives to make choices the luxon is a fetus who has been able to make none. as we understand it, it came to exandria because it was lonely and hungry to learn, to experience, to feel. it allegedly started life on exandria as folk worry predathos will end it. i presently think predathos & the luxon are both ancient, cosmic entities of higher power than the exandrian gods; one has lived and been beaten like an animal. one has seen eons of mortal history through an egg sac lens.
i think the kryn they can be extreme in how they wish others to join their faith, and i dont know how much of that counts as (for lack of a very non christian word) evangelizing; though ill say notably they ask others and try to win faith through mighty feats, over bulldozing & building temples with brute strength as vasselheim does. and frankly, while both wish for their cosmic entity to be free, the kryn certainly arent on the vanguard's levels; they want to understand the luxon and nurture it til it's ready to Become. the vanguard wishes for predathos to Wake and will rend the universe apart to watch it Devour. i think it is worth noting how beaten xhorhas is by wynandir; the society headed by a man who wants predathos freed does not sympathize with the luxon but despises it for being seen as a person and abuses it himself. ludinus, i think, sees predathos as a caged beast he can use or at least watch burn his worst enemies, and the luxon as a younger kind of it to force into service. the kryn see the luxon as a person-to-be like them. and maybe thats the key. understanding that even this galactic entity should feel care & grief & love right beside mortals. as if it's their child, even if they're by all means a parent to every living thing. as if it's one of Us. i think the real question i have isnt necessarily about the kryn parralels to the vanguard now, but rather the parralels in how they treat predathos when they learn of it; will they see it as alive and as worthy of care as the luxon? as well as the parralels of what actions the luxon will take compared to predathos; because i think, as predathos rages, the luxon will choose love.
#i dont know if ANY of this made sense but i am a dam of luxon thoughts waiting to break at all hours#long post#asks#van speaks#critical role#critical role meta#the luxon#predathos#ludinus da'leth#ashton greymoore
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
man as someone who also draws yet tries to be critical with the media and art i follow yeah i agree that artists could learn to draw diverse designs (not targeted to you just a general opinion) and such yet people forget that in the end we don't really own diversity neither representation and the way anons keep harassing you is ridiculous and tiring it makes me sad and i hope it doesn't discourage you.
i love your art, i really love scrolling through your page and see you rant about natsumugi it makes me get even more invested in them plus you draw them so pretty. i'm not even strongly into femstars but the way you draw natsume specifically influenced a bit in my hcs about him because idk it just fits him and perhaps because original natsume is already a bit androgynous this last remark is just a little side note i hope it's not too random lol and the way you draw both natsume and tsumugi makes my little sapphic heart go yippee
WAHHH it doesnt discourage me at all anon dont worry!! i have incredibly lovely friends, mutuals and followers who bring me immense joy and drives me to create even more! these anons are moreso just annoying, but harmless in the end!
and i agree that no artist should be forced to draw X Y Z, specifically if theyre just a hobbyist, but i do wanna say i think more diverse stuff should be greatly encouraged! and by this i mean, if you see someone try their hands at something more diverse that theyre not used to, dont be a dick about how their portrayal isnt good enough, thats just gonna make them want to stop and never exit their comfort zone again. what you should instead do is appreciate that theyre trying! and if perhaps the portrayal is offensive or REALLY misunderstands something, you can give criticisms on how to improve. the reason im still kind of trying to figure out the best way i can depict the tsumugi of my dreams is because many times when ive had people notice shes a bit softer, they get really happy about it! and seeing people be happy makes me happy and makes me wanna learn more! alot of my art is trial and error, i sometimes go back to old habits or stick to what im used to, but in the back of my head i still have a drive to learn and to improve, because people have been so kind to me. and i really wish people would realize its this kindness and uplifting that makes people want to continue learning, to continue improving, to experiment and see what sticks. shaming people for trying wont get you the results you want
AND WAHHHH THANK YOU!!! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! i love everything about switch SO incredibly much (incase u couldnt alr tell) and i love to just!! gush about them!!!! and i love women too!!! i love to gush about women!!!!!! this blog makes me incredibly happy, and it makes me even happier that i get to share it with such kindhearted people despite the few bad apples here is a little preview of the tsumugi also❤️
#I REALLY LIKE THE WAY SHE LOOKS SO FAR SO I WANTED TO SHARE IT#and also to let u know THE GRIND NEVER STOPS 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪#LOVE FOR WOMEN CONQUERS ALL#ask
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.
I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.
But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.
Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.
I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.
But that's up to you now.
Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.
Read more below
Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.
#smigglesask#I often tell anyone who asks about the callout on me that it is 100000% warranted and that I was a piece of shit and people deserve#to know what kind of person i used to be#I dont want to hide and pretend Im perfect or that I never hurt people
30 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! I love your Beetlejuice stories on A03, all of them are wonderful. Do you have any tips on writing the Maitlands? You write them so well, keeping them sweet while giving them depth.
you're so sweet! this got super long so its under a cut. please keep in mind that these are my interpretations of canon and you might disagree and that's totally fine!
Lemme break these into specifics for each one cause while theyre a matching set and should not be separated they're also pretty different! Barbara- the more out going one between the two of them, more willing to jump into new situations. i think of her as someone adam can lean on, and because of that their marriage is a little non traditional, despite what beej might say, since she's the one more likely to do things that scare her and sort of lead the two of them. barbara should be sweet, empathetic, and very patient, but also willing to put her foot down when it matters. she's a doormat no more. between the two of them, she's the one more interested in arts. while she might not like making pottery i think she's the more creative one - she apparently also started and gave up oil painting (the painting she smashes) i read her as someone who comes from religious trauma but that also might just be me putting my own baggage on her. she just feels like someone who would/could have been more outgoing if she hadnt been raised in a very traditional way, where women are a step below their husbands. i dont think that believe holds true in her marriage obviously but it's engrained to some degree that she needs to behave like the perfect wife/mother. this could also be part of where her anxiety about being a mother stems from (this part obviously is VERY personal to me and her character may not read that way to you, i acknowledge this i headcannon territory here) she's also willing to push adam into things that make him nervous, because she does want her husband to stand up for her. (that moment when beej is having his soliloquy, if you watch her she's arguing with adam and telling him to say something to beetlejuice, and that's the reason why adam interrupts him) in general i think she finds things that are odd and unusual to be more funny and interesting than scary - her laughing at beetlejuice's antics in the attic a lot come to mind. Adam - the more shy one. adam is someone who i read as having a fairly heavy degree of social anxiety (there are strangers downstairs! i didn't like strangers when i was alive-) and because of that he tends to overthink and be in his own head too much. adam's fatal flaw might be that he wants to sit down and puzzle through things instead of reacting. while it's good to keep a clear head sometimes you do need to react in the moment and stand up for yourself (which he learns by the end! go adam!!!) adam loves working with his hands. while barbara creates, adam maintains. he restores furniture and does woodworking. i do like to mix movie adam with musical adam a bit, because in the movie adam owns a hardware shop, and i think that vibe also fits musical adam as well. adam leans on barbara a lot - when beej is asking them to hire him, he looks helplessly to barbara, and he's always willing to follow her lead. in a sense she wears the pants, but it doesn't read as emasculating to me - barb's strength is leading and adam's is supporting. does not like to yell or wish people unwell. THAT GUY!! NEEDS!! therapy, i hope he gets the help he needs :( to me this, combined with him honestly thinking beej might be his dad for a moment, reads as someone who had a very turbulent early childhood. a negligent or possibly abusive father who disappeared early enough in his life that adam doesn't remember his face. maybe he doesnt like to yell because that's what his own father did, and he doesnt want to be like his dad. he wants to be better than that. his not knowing his father could also lead into his fear of becoming one - he didn't have a strong father figure growing up, and he's never had that behavior modeled for him
The Maitlands as one - they should be like two halves of a whole. barb might lead, but she never steps on adam. adam might support, but his own impute is never stifled. barbara will encourage adam to be more brave and outgoing. adam will help barbara keep her temper or talk through things that frustrate her. they're so in love it's kinda gross.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
im sorry my tumblr followers who dont know me im mad rn, im just rambling mad under a readmore again thanksss
listen its not that i need to be dating someone im just chilling. in fact rn i would not want to date anyone.
but i HATEEEE HATE seeing people say shit like "You dont need anyone, you should learn to be happy without someone else in ur life! why do you need someone else! just be happy without that!" well damn sue me for wanting someone to deeply love me who i deeply love back!! why is that such a bad thing to want!! obviously if you cant function without being in a relationship that's not good, but people always say that shit to someone going "i feel unlovable and like no one will ever want me" and it feels so meanspirted!! damn!!
its been like almost a year since i got ghosted and i know its annoying to hear people complain abt the same thing over and over again. but its just HARD bcus i feel stupid, and used. i really thought my ex was like, THE person, we talked abt getting married and how we'd combine our last names, abt moving in together, supported each other through everything. when i was in inpatient this person called me almost everyday i was there to say hi and check in on me. i thought my future involved them and then they just dropped me without even an explanation. never in a million billion years did i think that would happen (outside of my bad brain telling me it would, which, well i was right so LOL) bcus they were my best friend of 8 years!!
and its scary bcus it makes me think there must be something wrong with me/"how could anyone ever love me when even the person who dated me for 6 years didnt". and people always say things like "you haven't met everyone who will care about you yet" but what if i have, and my one chance at having a relationship i was so happy in was ruined bcus the other person is a self-obsessed asshole who lied to my face abt so much for who KNOWS what reason. WHATEVER.
i feel like when i make posts like this i come off as an insane person in the "no wonder they broke up with you" way, but i promise im actually normal ive just been very emotionally ripped to shreds by a very bad breakup. barely a breakup bcus it was over TWITTER DM. whatever im just gonna be one of those people that obsesses over fictional characters so much i think were in a relationship.
i just rlly rlly wonder what their reasoning for doing this to me was and if they feel bad abt it. or if they think its funny, or if they just dont care. i also wonder if they think they can just message me one day and apologize and think itll be okay (i dont think this will happen, i used to but i dont anymore)
i lean towards they just dont care, i doubt they even think about what they did lol. i mean i HOPE they feel bad, but i dont think thats true. id be shocked if i ever heard from them again which is just, crazy. 8 years of knowing someone and it ends like that through no fault of your own. i wish i had a screenshot of the break up dm id post it in a heartbeat so anyone who actually read this far would feel whiplash like i do. (filled to the brim with "i love you so much" "i feel horrible for hurting you and i hate that im doing it" "i really care about you" "i hope you stay in my life bcus youre my best friend").
and it makes me really sad bcus OFC we would have stayed friends, i loved them so much that while id be sad abt breaking up i would still want them in my life. (WE EVEN TALKED ABT HOW IF WE BROKE UP WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE'D STAY FRIENDS). but even in my fantasy world where they reach out after a few years all apologetic and guilty i just couldnt do it anymore.
one more but i don't understand what would compel someone to say all that knowing theyre lying and dont give a fuck about you, like it only comes off as evil and fucked up and cruel to me, so how else am i supposed to take that.
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
since you were kind enough to like the song i recommended you, i wanted to send you more ZZZ items i found useful. i have a distany memory of you saying you wanted to learn more about ZZZ's lore before developing more of your OC that you ship with Billy Kid and i have provided two videos for you to potentially help you out! no worries if you dont want to watch either for any reasons, all optional obviously. im just trying to be helpful with what is p rapidly becoming either a hyperfixation or a special interest, and i love the content youve made so far about it!
(video 1:) https://youtu.be/WaW6Sy8o6dI?si=ldFSS7w9qLFaMig2
this (⬆️ video 1) is a video that explores the lore about ZZZ so far without going into spoilers. i hope there will be a part 2 that does include spoilers at some point. but, as is, this is really interesting. and really succint at just 14 minutes
(which i find to be short, but all the other ZZZ lore and theory videos i have seen are all even shorter (guess there isnt much to lore to unpack so far, no matter how much i want to have everything ever in ZZZ all analyzed and explained in one video already as is). so this is both a baby and a biggie. but i like how little guessing at what could be in this video, as we instead mostly analyze what is currently in-game, is my point)
(video 2:) https://youtu.be/mR0s11XrSlU?si=6FYAUtF6iq7OxBod
and this (⬆️ video 2) is a video that compiles all the cut-scenes so far (it was posted within the last week) of the animated scenes, the comic-book-scenes, and other voice-acted scenes within ZZZ so far. it's very long. but ive been watching it in pieces over the past few days and have found it fun, but that's just me. im on hour 7. wild that there is THIS many scenes in a video of an app-game, in a video that doesnt even include any gameplay no less lol
but yeah! watching through these two videos have helped me understand ZZZ better and develop my own ZZZ OC. im still looking into lore and theory videos about ZZZ that aren't fully based on conjecture, and if i run into any more then i can let you know? only if you want tho. i dont wanna infodump unwarrantedly lol
hopefully, we will eventually learn Billy lore. do you have any theories or hcs about Billy yet?
i know his wiki confirms he is fully robot, just one who passed The Forbidden Fruit Test, but i was so convinced before that he used to be human lol and now i have a lot of hcs and curiosities about why he exists and who made him, but my biggest focus is the obvious "ohhh this bitch is functionally immortal, huh? he's going to outlive all his teammates unless he's killed or something" element. i wish we knew more about the Starlight Knights as part of said Billy lore, but as is i hc theyre like Voltron or outerspace Power-Rangers so that it can explain part of Billy's interest as then in part due to them using robots to save the world. maybe one or more of them IS a robot or cyborg even, idk lol
but i digress. i hope you have a good day!! 👋
OOOO THANK U FOR SENDING ME THESE that first one was insanely helpful 😭😭 bc half the time while I'm playing the game I zone out and just end up missing dialogue JAJDJS
Dw about infodumping JAJDJS I practically do that everyone bc I can't learn to shut up but YES FEEL FREE TO SEND MY WAY it's always a bit frustrating when a media is new cause there's just not that much confirmed information 😭 so hopefully we'll get more lore soon 🙂↕️
I'm not sure if you're seen but there's a character teaser released by hyverse where he talks abt being made from old technology and used to be part of a gang on the outer ring of new eridu (??) there's been some speculation it could be a new upcoming faction called sons of calydon since the insignia on their back is somewhat similar to the one on billys (?) but that's what I've seen other people speculate
I think he also talks abt being made as a combat android but its not clear who made him exactly or his exact purpose 🤷♀️
As for the starlight knight aspect from my personal opinion I think it's to play into his childish personality almost by giving him a silly interest akdjsk THIS PART IS A HEADCANON but in his teaser he also talks about 'gaining a taste of freedom' so I'm assuming he enjoys the show bc it's kind of him indulging in this freedom he's found if that makes any sense IDK KEFNKWKSN cause he's a silly character so they gave him some silly traits to make him an enjoyable character :]
But yea that's what I think so far I HOPE THEY CAN RELEASE MORE CONTENT SOON IM SO IMPATIENNTTT JAJDJJJD
This is the character teaser if you haven't seen already ⬇️⬇️
youtube
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you agree with me that we should get rid of "death of the author" and that we should introduce "death of the audience" instead?
"Oooh but how will other people interpret this-" I don't know! I don't care! I wanna know what goes on inside the brain of the person who actually put their time and effort and soul into this. Not five million other people who Did Not Create the Thing.
(Sorry if this is weird but you feel like the most qualified person i know to have an opinion on this)
Disclaimer, im big on believing 2 things coexist at the same time about everything. My mood swings put me in black and white thinking often, but when i can think clearly from both perspectives im still a contrarian and have counter points for my counter points. Im gonna word vomit an answer, im not good at ordering my thoughts but i hope its fine still.
Oh brother i used to go on rants about this (authorial intent, media consumption, fandom culture etc) all of last semester and it's what ultimately led to me giving up on my degree and serious art altogether... i'll attach a few i found in my archive i think are relevant if youre curious beep meep meow. I was writing these posts at the same time as my thesis paper which was more hopeful and aiming to reframe what we consider escapism, but in the end by the finale (last assessment) the hatred won in my heart and i couldnt make a visual project with an audience in mind. I made something, but it was more like a rant with visuals and absolutely failed the "whats the future of this project?" question. Must it have a future for an audience? Its job was to be a confession and a respite, for my own expression. I dont want an audience, im too much of a misanthropic hater and possessive mother to let others see or interpret my ideas. I know it's selfish and counterproductive but i cant help it. You sending this ask made me laugh since it was so relevant to my struggles this year. Id love to break out of this cycle and mindset but i always go back here to these beliefs.
Anyway... i do think the sensible truth is somewhere in the middle. Reader's interpretation is essential for works to gain life in the world and to outlive their authors, and i revere stories for the ability to touch people's hearts and make them learn things about themselves as well as other's way of thinking (reading is a process of interpretation and contemplation afterall isnt it? Well, active reading at least. Citation to my written thesis). But im not a fan of fandom lens interpretations that so often flatten stories.
I think for our shared stories of interest authorial intent is particularly fun to think about. Commercial works made to sell gacha games but which do have heart and profound messages theyre trying to convey. But also made with an audience in mind. I havent been able to formulate any particularly riveting conclusions, but i would love to know if anyone has focused on such topics. Everything deserves analysis and attempts at understanding... and i find authorial intent an invaluable insight that can never be cast aside. Works gain lives of their own after theyre set free into the world, but they dont spawn fully formed from thin air ready for "consumption"...
Uuu im trying to decide if i should link to you a story about storytelling i wrote and illustrated in a day, and a video about humanity and the power of imagination as salvation and damnation... if i say "i'll share them, but only if you erase from your mind that i wrote them" it'd be hypocritical after everything i just spilled out. But too much knowledge about the author is scary too... not for the audience as much as the author himself. It's the audience who has the final laugh of judgement and interpretation... but it's scary to let others into your mind, to see things you spent time and energy on? I wish i could channel my death of the audience defiance into proudly sharing works without caring who sees them rather than deciding nothing is worth making anymore since im so mistrustful. Alas! Maybe one day i'll stop being a self absorbed, self sabotaging prey animal
#ask#collectorcookie#if you do like my erratic stream of consciousness rants though i could send the links
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
came across a tiktok tarot reading and started thinking abt my desire for partnership a lil bit
it ties in w what i said about wanting to be witnessed last night and what i said some time ago, to a different anon.
and partially a response to an anon sitting in my inbox rn, i know im never going to have a person in my life that was there to have seen what i was like when i was a teenager, arguably the part of me thats wounded the most, that desires to be seen and heard and understood the most, and sees now how much ive changed since then.
but i still want someone to watch me grow regardless. whether they know the mistakes ive made in the past, the extent of the damage id done to others, or not, im always hoping that theres someone whos watching, even if all theyre watching is me flapping my arms around trying to figure out how to stand up in water thats just knee deep
id said before that i dont want to be in a connection where all im doing is seeking validation from the other person, begging them to fix the parts of me that no one else but i could fix; id done enough of that in my last relationship. i can admit that ive at least grown in that way since
id said before that i just wanted someone i could share this life with, and maybe its just me who sees it, but, in a way, its almost the same as wanting to be witnessed.
im not asking anyone to fix me, im not asking the universe to bring into my life someone who can. im asking for someone who i can grow beside, much like a trellis, or a stake, or, when planting three sisters crops—corn, beans, squash—the corn is planted first, so that their stalks provide the support for the beans to grow.
maybe thats still me wanting to rely on someone, but wanting to rely on someone is not necessarily a bad thing that goes to show that ive taken nothing from the horrible things i did when was eighteen, ive been trying to learn. i think it just means that ive isolated myself from the rest of the world for long enough since. that ive repented and punished myself enough.
despite how horribly ive been floundering the past three months, i think i just want to learn how to be human, to coexist with others, and learn, learn, learn. i started this year feeling stagnant; im of the belief that theres only so much you can learn on your own, that through connections with others, parts of you that you couldnt see would be illuminated through their perspectives on life, the world, small and stupid things, big and important things. and i started this year wishing to find connections to grow in, with, beside. together.
ive since found one, i like to think, despite the way things played out and currently are. i could go on and on about my regrets about it, the endless list of things i wish id done and said differently, but i can at least say that its shown me that, at its very core, the type of connection i want exists. maybe not with the person i want it to be, maybe never. but it exists. somewhere, somewhen, even if i cant see how ive influenced someone else's change, even if i can. my people, my person, theyre out there. they exist. and theyre looking for me too.
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Its been over 3 days and his post about Ghosted being the highest streamed movie on Apple+ hasnt even reached 700k likes.
He used to break 1M in a few hours, tops.
The streams may have been there but its evident it wasnt in support, and if it was, it wasnt for him. I dont care what any of his Defenders say, what his following count says
Bots dont like posts. Its more than clear that he is not at all where he used to be or should be and people are over him.
I wish I could say I hope he's learned his lesson but lets be honest here, Topher will keep Topherin'. But it is satisfying to watch it all crumble despite the facade theyre trying to put out there.
One problem, though, it that we can't say what percentage of Apple viewers who streamed Ghosted are actually Chris fans, in fandom, or just regular subscribers looking for something new to watch on a weekend. We have no way of parsing those stream numbers to account for those variables.
But, yes, the erosion in his social media engagement will probably not be rebuilt. While things like Dodger posts will probably still bring in more comments/likes, I think the lack of engagement with project posts might stay low. Does that mean his fandom in broken in perpetuity? I don't know. There's always the chance of a new project that will reignite interest.
21 notes
·
View notes