#i wish i could be stronger but i am so weak and easy for a man with facial hair 😔

[daeluin]

opening my tumblr again like wow i really had a mental breakdown at 10:30am over some white man in a demin jacket

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

[fleursbending]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. | Sully Family

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 : "You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." Sully! Reader to Sully! Parents? Just a fluffy family fic please

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : sully!family x sully!daughter

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : becoming one with the metkayina's has not been an easy task. as everyone continues to settle in their own ways, your family begins to grow more worried about your well-being. this isn't the sully they know. you're withdrawn, and quiet. what better way to fix that than to seek you out when you least expect it?

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : hi if you're confused so am i! there were issues when i first posted this so i am reposting it again. thank you for the love on the previous one though! // trust me this is fluffy 😭 just have to go through a lil angst to get to that part <33 this is purely a self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic! didn't fully proofread this btw! pls feel free to reblog and leave your thoughts in the comments.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : bullying, discrimination, angst but fluff at the end, descriptions of loneliness, hurt/comfort, you're gonna wish even more that u were a sully after reading this.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.2k words

𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 : hiiiiii my luvs you can read part 2: here !🙏🏼

The ocean was not your friend, you could only look at the endless channel of water in disdain. This was far too daunting for you, you liked the little rivers or ponds back at home. The sealife while beautiful, petrified you.

You missed the lush greens and the smell of the dew from the occasional rain back in the jungle. It was easy to forget your responsibilities, not that you had as many as your other siblings. Being the second youngest Sully had its perks. Not older than Lo'ak, and not younger than Tuk.

The "expeditions" you went on now made you look like a fool. You didn't know the terrain here, how to navigate fluidly through the water like Tsireya, Ao'nung, or Roxto.

Each passing day your siblings got better at managing to hold their breath, and riding their Ilu's. But you were still stuck in the past.

It felt reality kept kicking you in the face. Your stubborn self was annoyed as well. Holding a grudge against your family. It seemed like no one missed home. You understood why your parents made the decision they did, but it didn't make the act of doing so hurt any less.

At least you had these quiet moments before your thoughts ran rampant to practice your breathing.

You were suddenly interrupted from your twisting thoughts when a nudge was directed at your head.

It was Ao'nung and his crew.

"Leave me alone." You hissed at them, not wanting to deal with their bullshit today.

"Leave me alone." Ao'nung mocked you as he tugged on your tail.

You quickly stood up, looking to see if any of your family were close by. They weren't. You were supposed to be back in the Mauri but once again, you lost track of time.

"No one is here to help you, Y/n."

They grabbed your hand, poking insults at you and your family. You knew better than to talk back, especially if no one was here to help you out. It was 4 against 1. So instead you bit your lip and kept your mouth shut.

"Roxto, are you there?" His mother called from around the corner, startling the goonies.

"You're in luck, scram!" Ao'nung hissed at you.

Eyes widening, you stumbled as you rushed back to your Mauri. You didn't dare look back at your tormentors.

Once you were a few steps away, you slowed your pace. Catching your breath, before making your way inside.

The worried chatter of your family halted when you made your presence.

Neytiri stopped pacing, moving over to you and grabbing your face in her hands.

"Ewya help me before I lose it. Where have you been? You're 15 minutes late! I was about to send your brothers out to look for you."

Had it really been that long?

"I'm sorry." You looked down in shame. It's weird being on the brunt end of the stick. Even your parents have grown more accustomed to having to tell you off rather than Lo'ak. It was definitely odd.

"You didn't answer your mother's question, where have you been?" Jake didn't like being stern with you, but you being late to dinner had been happening more regularly.

You used to be a stickler for these dinners, being the one to push for them. How everyone had to be in attendance, and on time. It was family bonding time, moments to catch up on what everyone had done that day.

"Just around, I was with my Ilu - I'm sorry." You looked down to the Mauri's floor, unable to meet your father's eyes. It was hard lying to him.

Neteyams eyebrows arched in confusion, he had just been with his Ilu. You were nowhere in sight. He decided to let it slide this time, but he couldn't help but wonder where you snuck off too.

"Alright well, you really got to keep track of time yeah. You used to love these dinners!"

"Yes, and I still do!" You answered too quickly, not missing a beat.

If Jake wasn't suspicious before, he certainly was now. But like Neteyam, he decided to let it slide. Your brothers had told him and Neytiri how you've been struggling to catch up and learn everything in the lessons.

That was partially it, but if only he was aware of the bigger picture.

Jake nodded, looking to Neytiri. She also held a look of concern, but Jake made a silent signal that basically stated:

"We shouldn't push it, not now."

"Well, let's eat before the food gets even colder." Neytiri ushered her kids over, keeping a close eye on you.

Your family gathers around the food that was already set, and start eating. As all your siblings chatted excitedly about the activities they've done throughout the day. You didn't say a thing, not even piping in.

Neytiri and Jake once again met gazes, thinking the same thing.

Something's wrong with our daughter.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to rest, as your family rested together you couldn't help yourself as you removed Tuk's arm that clung to your shoulder.

Maneuvering your way outside, you jumped into the water. Why sleep when you can practice again?

Before Eclipse ended you made sure to squeeze the excess water out of your hair and made yourself comfortable alongside your family. Your body ached and could no longer fight off your sleep deprivation. But it was worth it, you could hold your breath a lot longer now under water.

From then on, it gradually got worse. Even your siblings would struggle to find you throughout the day. You'd take longer naps through the day, and Lo'ak knew you were sneaking out at night. Your essence seemed to further rid itself from you, and all that was left was a hollow shell of yourself.

They too, shared similar thoughts with their parents. No longer could they see you dwindle away. It didn't sit right with them, you're a Sully through and through. Sully's stick together.

So they did what they know best and was most accessible to them, track.

Instead this time they weren't on a hunt, or looking for what was to be a good meal for their clan. They were following the steps of their baby sister.

If you stepped out of your brain for a moment, you would have immediately clocked them. But once again, Y/n was shut in her own bubble.

"Bro, don't you find it weird that she hasn't realised we are here?" Lo'ak whispered as he looked at you behind the leaves keeping them hidden.

"Shut up, Lo'ak" Neteyam grumbled. He didn't want to agree even if his words held some truth.

"Hey, I have to agree with him. We shouldn't have been able to get this far. She's usually far too hyperaware of her surroundings." Kiri observed you, stunned and clueless.

They'd never been to this part of Awa'atlu before. They'd been so fixated on the ocean. They had yet to really explore the area that surrounded their new home. It oddly felt like they were waltzing through their past.

At last, you came upon your tree. You liked it because it had a specific branch that you could curve into. Blend in, and be one with your surroundings. Like you had used to do before in the jungle. This was now your next best option.

Your siblings looked in confusion at one another, not understanding how this could be the reason you've been periodically gone. Did you spend all your time here?

But then it came.

It was barely there, and you were struggling to catch your breath. The cries.

It strikes through the serene sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, and the nearby insects chirping.

Your sibling's ears flattened as they looked at each other in sheer worry. You were a spitfire, but you had always been calm and collected. The physical embodiment of the word warm. Happiness was always with you. So where did it all go wrong?

"Great mother, I fear that I am not good enough. I thought consistency was key, I've been trying to practice anytime I can. But I'm so tired. I've never felt this weak and useless?" You mumbled to yourself, looking up into the sky.

Groaning in frustration, you continued. "Maybe Ao'nung was right. I will never be one of the people. I will always be too alien. I will never be able to live up to my family."

Lo'ak enraged by the doubts you had voiced stepped out from their cover.

Your ears tuned into the noise, you finally tuned into your senses and became more alert. As you hopped off the branch, hastily wiping your tears.

"Brother." You choked out, lips trembling.

He took slow steps towards you, trying to soothe you as he brought you into a hug.

"Baby sister," he said so quietly, solemnly.

You couldn't remember the last time he hugged you, and neither he could he. It wore his heart down, seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

Soon the presence of more arms wrapped around you both, clinging onto you - securing you in their grasps. For the first time in a long time, tenderness surged through you.

"We've got you, Y/n. You're going to be alright. Let it all out now." Neteyam who was at your right side gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead, muttering to himself - "Oh my baby sister."

Kiri had never felt such pain from you, it came off in waves. And it almost debilitated her. In that moment, it was the most protective she had felt for you. It synced through all of them, a fire had awaken in the pit of their souls - so fierce that even Toruk Makto would flinch from it.

Slowly your breaths began to ease, and your tense shoulders slumped down. It was emotionally taxing having had all these emotions balled up inside you. Now it was unraveling, and it felt all too bittersweet.

Your siblings sensing this, mellowed out on their group hug they were giving you. Moving over, you all settled down against the tree you've been confiding in moments before.

Tuk grabbed your hand while Kiri tucked your intricate braids behind your ears. You mouthed a "thank you", leaning your head on her shoulder.

All it took was Neteyam to ask a very simple question, "What's been going on, baby sister?"

And once your mouth opened, you decided - why not just let them in on everything? So you did.

You told them about how ashamed and humiliated you had felt when you started lagging behind. How Ao'nung and his friends would tease you whenever they had the chance to do. (It was always away from prying eyes). Due to that, it only made the feelings of hatred you harbored for yourself - increase a tenth-fold.

A deliberately belligerent cycle was born. Self-doubt equated to "I will push myself to the brink of exhaustion". You'd seek out your family thinking they'd have noticed. But they were too caught up in their own commitments to realise your intentions.

All you wanted was for any of them to see the hard work you had been pouring in to adapting here. But how could they when you always lingered on the outskirts?

Late to dinner, late to the lessons, never seen. They couldn't appreciate what was in front of them because they hadn't witnessed it themselves. How utterly ironic.

"I see why you didn't, but I wish you had told us, Y/n. We could have helped you." Kiri insisted as she patted your head.

"I know." You grumbled, but you were grateful for how attentive they are to you.

"Ao'nung will pay." Lo'ak seethed, completely shifting the topic of conversation.

Neteyam rolled his eyes and interjected. "He will, but not in the way you are seeing it in your mind right now. We have to go to dad and mum about this."

Your irritated eyes widened, leaping up from where your back had laid against the tree. Y/n scowled at Neteyam, her tail flicking in anguish. No, not her parents.

"Absolutely not, 'Teyam. They mustn't know anything of this." You countered him, disbelief flooding your features. Your parents would only perceive you as a failure, and that was the last thing you could stomach right now.

Neteyam stood up by you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He shook his head at you and gave you one of his brotherly grins.

"Baby sister, they are just as worried as we are." He looked behind you, and urged you to turn around.

Oh great mother, that could only mean one thing.

Ember crashed on ember, one filled with panic, and two filled with distraught. The tension was taut, but all your parents wanted to do was cradle you in their arms like they had in your first few months of life.

"Kids, back to the Mauri." Jake ordered them, pointing back to where it was.

"But dad-" Lo'ak butted in, worriedly looking at you.

"It's okay. Thank you, Lo'ak." You coaxed him to join your siblings who were also hesitating a little.

They disappeared amongst nature, and their footsteps grew fainter and fainter. Until all that was left was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It felt oddly comforting being in their company even though doubt was eating you up from the inside.

It's been a while.

Neytiri was the first to approach you, her hands shook as she cradled your face. She took you in for the first time in weeks, and this time she was able to do it properly. Lately, she'd only been able to admire you whilst you sleep, or during meals.

In the morning you'd be gone in a blink of an eye. Throwing a haphazard, "I'll see you later", over your shoulder.

She missed you profoundly, so much that it physically pained her sometimes. Neytiri treasured you deeply, to put it bluntly - her heart felt like it'd been slashed by a Thanotor ever since you started pushing yourself away.

Jake followed in his mate's footsteps. His eye's tearing into your soul and trying to catch if there had been any distinct changes that have occurred to you.

"You don't look like yourself." Jake stumbled on his words.

Neytiri hissed, smacking your dad on the back of his head. A slight giggle escaped you that made both of their hearts sing. "Ma jake."

"Sorry." He mumbled, giving you a cheeky grin.

Y/n's doubts were already melting away before she herself could even acknowledge it. She grabbed both her parent's hands, leading them over to her tree not too far away from where they had been standing.

Mimicking how she and her siblings were just before. She settled against the tree again, bringing her parents down with her.

The trio admired their surroundings, taking in the wonders of Pandora. Especially Jake, and Neytiri. This is the closest they've felt to something akin to the jungle they'd once inhabited.

"I'm sure you heard everything, and it is true. I am sorry if I've disappointed you guys. I thought I could manage it all on my own."

Neytiri played with your hair and could only chastise your words. "You did not disappoint us, if anything - you infuriated us. We were just worried about you, our dear daughter."

Jake nodded in agreement. "We love you, and we want to be there for you. We will if you allow us. That's what we are here for. You don't need to fight these battles alone. Remember what I told you, baby girl?"

You rolled your eyes and pushed your dad away from you jokingly.

"It's us against the world." You mumbled.

Jake teasingly put a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry? What was that? I couldn't hear you."

Neytiri let out a soft laugh at you two's antics, watching with endearment sparkling in her eyes.

Clearing your throat, you reiterated your words. "It's us against the world."

Jake did extravagant hand motions, "More enthusiasm please!"

You were beaming, yelling out, "It's us against the world!"

"That's right baby, it is." Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders bringing you to his side. Neytiri instinctively leaned against you both.

Y/n couldn't help but admire her parents. They were her foundation, her protectors. She couldn't believe that she used to be ashamed of being a Sully. It was her legacy, one she is only beginning to pave. She wasn't about to let Na'vi who didn't truly know her, dictate her life any longer.

"You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." You started, staring at your parents.

"I just - I couldn't catch up. There are so many other bigger things to worry about, and I thought.. I don't know. That I'd overcome this. I tried to love the ocean and the people. But I miss home. I miss everything that was green, now it's just all blue! That's actually why I like this place so much." You rambled, arms waving erratically. It felt gratifying to get it off your chest, especially to the two people you have wanted to tell from the get-go.

Your parents nodded, taking all your words in. But they were still conflicted. Their daughter had a competitive nature like no other, every time the world pushed her down - she always got back up. If you were lagging behind so much, you would have just pushed yourself more. Work extra hard, and seek help from your family.

But you haven't done any of that this time. All the means necessary she could have used as a stepping stone were left out of this equation. Instead, you had suffered in silence.

"You know, Y/n. It's not your fault for feeling like you don't belong. But you are one of us. You are Sully, you are the embodiment of strong heart. It does not matter what others say to you when no one else is there. It does not matter that you have 5 fingers." Neytiri protested, sighing.

She made sure you were looking at her, hearing her.

"What matters is how you control how it affects you. You are still growing, baby. This is a lesson you will remember for a lifetime and the next." Neytiri advised you, squeezing your hand.

"Your mother is right. At the end of the day, the power is in your hands. So use it, sweetheart. Follow your heart, and let us know next time if it gets a little too much. Alright?" Jake expanded on what Neytiri had told you.

You looked down at their hands holding yours. Yeah, Sully's really do stick together. And you wouldn't trade that for anything else in this world and all the other's orbiting you.

"Alright." Y/n restated, tugging both of her parents up with her. They stared at their child with confusion.

"Let's go back home." This time what you threw over your shoulder to them was a sweet smile, dimples and all.

Neytiri and Jake spoke with only their eyes as they let Y/n guide them back to their Mauri.

Our daughter is going to be just fine.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ˳೫˚

bonus:

Y/n's laughter could be heard inside the Mauri as she played in the water with Tuk just in front of their home.

Jake turned to Lo'ak and Neteyam who were doing some chores.

He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'll turn a blind eye if you decide to give Ao'nung a beating or two. Just for today." Jake mentioned, before going back to cleaning his gun.

Lo'ak had a devious grin, rubbing his knuckles together, "Yes Sir."

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request a short scenario about Gojo falling in love with Sukuna’s favorite lover? They got unsealed first & was discovered by Gojo. Darling tried to escape one problem only to acquire an even worse one

Darling is gender neutral and it’s Romantic Yandere Gojo

~Anon~

The plot was a bit complicated yet vague so I hope the idea I came up with works ^^; I don't know much about the Heian Era so I am guessing. AU where Jujutsu High is actually Jujutsu University for the sake of ages and plot.

This deviates from the request a bit but I hope you enjoy it anyways :) The end is a bit butchered as I had no ideas :( The yandere behavior is vaguely implied, I wish this was executed better but I was working with what I had. Constructive feedback is appreciated.

Possible Manga Spoilers, Please read with caution.

One Long Century

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Story (Ft. Sukuna)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Violence, Possessive behavior, Slight rivalry themes, Jealousy, Stalking, Darling hates relationships, Themes of toxicity in relationships, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

The Heian Era was known as a legendary time for Jujutsu Sorcerers. After all, this era was where Sukuna and Kenjaku originated from. Speaking of which, there was another Sorcerer that history recorded who dealt with these two.

You were Sukuna's favorite lover, out of all the partners the King of Curses had, you were his best. You were experienced in utilizing Curse energy, which made you a favorite. However, you never wanted to be tied to the monster.

Sukuna took you as a partner due to your abilities as a Sorcerer. While you were originally his enemy, he broke you in due to his strength. You were never stronger than him but he liked your potential. Truthfully, your plan was to die trying to take him out.

You never got such an easy fate.

No, instead Sukuna contacted Kenjaku to speak of immortality. You understood Sukuna wished to live forever, but you fully expected to die here. Unfortunately... Sukuna didn't want to waste such a good partner.

"Make them a cursed object, too. I want them to follow me eternally."

You were never like Sukuna. No, your morals were more pure than his. You had the morals of more modern Jujutsu Sorcerers.

Protect the weak... For you are strong.

Against your will you were made into a sealed cursed object. You reluctantly lay in wait for a time where you can awaken. With the body of a host... you can be reborn.

Even if you didn't wish it.

---

For a century your cursed object was passed around and stored. Legends and rumors told of your relationship with the King of Curses. It was often said that you could calm the King of Curses if things ever got out of hand.

Eventually, like some of Sukuna's fingers, you found your way into the protection of Jujutsu University in their Cursed Warehouse.

You weren't chosen to be reborn until enough of Sukuna's fingers were collected. Higher-ups realized that if something goes wrong they should have you ready. Which lead to a host being chosen...

And you being reborn.

It felt... strange to be reborn in the modern age. Everything was so different, from the amount of Sorcerers to even the clothes and buildings. You were brought back for a reason it seemed.

You feel like you're being judged.

You can't blame these modern Sorcerers for suspecting you. Sukuna was known for sadism and being known as his favorite lover didn't help. However, you did your best to prove your true allegiance.

Any side fighting Sukuna works for you.

You didn't meet Satoru Gojo until you were allowed to be "used". Their wording disturbed you, yet you try not to judge in turn. They have their reasons to be worried.

Unfortunately... meeting Satoru Gojo comes with reuniting with... Sukuna.

You were told that Sukuna had taken host in a student named Yuji Itadori. Satoru Gojo was given the job of being his teacher and being a handler. Your job?

Stick by them both... and keep Sukuna under control.

You loathed the idea... but you hated the idea of Sukuna going unchecked more. As a result, you comply with the order. This makes you part of Gojo's group.

It also gets you involved with Gojo and Sukuna... the blights of your life.

---

As expected, being in the group started uncomfortable for you. Gojo was curious of an ancient Sorcerer such as you. One who wasn't malevolent... but kept alive for some reason.

Admittedly you weren't as strong as Gojo... but you were up there.

You then met the younger students who accompanied him. Yuji (Sukuna's vessel, according to your intel), Nobara, and Megumi. They were all quite interesting and powerful in their own right... and over time you found yourself attached to them.

Then there was Sukuna, the King of Curses and your supposed lover. He festered within Yuji, much to your disgust. You dreaded whenever he took control.

You could never have a normal conversation with Yuji without Sukuna popping in to taunt you. He was unfortunately still flirtatious, seeing you as his lover. He didn't care if you hated him... just like all those years ago.

You wished you could just stay enemies with him.

You wished you weren't brought back.

Arguments often occurred between you and Sukuna. It was usually verbal as Gojo was around to prevent physical fights. For the sake of everyone around you.

Speaking of Gojo, you often spoke with him. You both often acted as mentors and guardians to your group. Originally, the air between you was tense.

Then Gojo realized he could get along with a strong Sorcerer such as you from ancient times.

You don't mind Gojo at first. He helps you adapt to modern times now that you're able to be out and about around other people. You two even bond well in battle against Curses.

Sukuna often mocks the fact Gojo is so close to you. The King of Curses is still possessive of his remaining lover. You often hear Sukuna vowing to take you back once he takes full control of his vessel, Yuji.

You plan on preventing that with Gojo.

You help Gojo train his students. For the most part you stay out of the way of other activities unless it's Sukuna related. Occasionally you even help with Kenjaku issues once those become known.

Soon months begin to pass and Gojo grows more... intrigued. He knew attachments could be dangerous, especially with an individual as mysterious as you. However...

It didn't stop Gojo from falling for someone he shouldn't have.

Gojo's obsession with you doesn't go unnoticed by Sukuna. In fact, he often acts out more around Gojo. Which leads to more work for you.

You begin to notice things when Gojo leaves your side less. He often excuses his actions as the higher-ups just wanting to keep you monitored. You believe it since Gojo is technically monitoring two dangerous Sorcerers.

In reality, Gojo can't keep his eyes off you.

He originally didn't want to think of the idea of being in love with you. Yet despite the difference in your eras and origins, Gojo still managed to be playful and interested in you. You even played along.

If anyone was worthy of Satoru Gojo...

It was you.

---

Gojo is really your only guide to getting around this new age. You have power, but without him you could've been misguided. At least, Gojo seems to think so.

As you work with Jujutsu University, Gojo only seems to grow closer to you. He often asks how you manage to get Sukuna under control and what you've learned throughout the ages. If anything, you're the most valuable asset he and the rest of the Sorcerers has other than Yuji/Sukuna himself.

Gojo's strange behavior doesn't get better as you work with him. It perplexes you. After all, you aren't that much of a threat. So why is he so close at all times?

If only you knew the true extent to his feelings.

You haven't thought much of romantic relationships due to your circumstances. After all, Sukuna is still around and he's turned you off to such relationships. Which is why it disturbs you when you notice Gojo's... obsession.

It's fitting that the strongest craves the strong, no matter how forbidden it is.

However, when you see the signs, you're reminded of how you were treated all those years ago. The possessive glares, then hostility towards those who don't accept you... it's familiar.

Gojo's much nicer and more playful than Sukuna...

But it appears they're both their own type of monster.

Whenever Gojo pulls you into an embrace, you shove him away. Whenever he playfully teases you, you go cold. You don't wish to be trapped again....

Yet Gojo never stops to consider his actions....

His hold on you is always tight. His confession for you was rather sudden once he did say it. When you tried to refuse, his behavior didn't change.

In fact he only seemed more violent towards those you fought against... Including Sukuna.

"We're good partners, aren't we?" He asked you, a smile on his face. "So wouldn't we be good... romantically?"

You hate that you still persist even now.

Even now, when you just want to rest, Gojo's there. You begin to dislike company of any type by this point. Yet you're forced to endure as a Jujutsu Sorcerer.

Originally you could deal with him being overly affectionate. The hugs were even originally comforting. You kept telling him you didn't like him romantically, but he seemed to ignore such a thought. You were tired of him constantly being by your side no matter where you go.

Although, snapping would only bring you trouble.

If you snapped, the higher-ups would order you exorcised and their control over Sukuna would falter. That or Gojo himself would seal you so you're harmless. As much as you hated it...

A century ago you told yourself serving Sukuna was your duty. Now, in modern times, you tell yourself that serving alongside Gojo is your duty. It didn't matter what happened as long as the weak were protected....

It was once again your duty to please.

Gojo was so focused on you two being strong together, he never thought about what you think. In his eyes, the strong belong together. No matter what.

Instead of piercing red eyes, you're met with glowing blue ones. Instead of the King of Curses, it's the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer. There may be differences...

But in the end you're still left with a monster...

A monster that has so much more power over you... A monster that claims to love you... Just to take everything you have all over again.

A long century has passed... and nothing has changed.

"We'll be unstoppable, won't we, baby?"

[onskepa]

Hellooo, could i get a fic about Teylan and Solek, like in a platonic way? Solek may get annoyed by Teylan on the daily and not like his human stuff, but deep down has a soft spot for him, he knows he was the most manipulated by the Sky people at TAP that made him like he is now. So even tho he always complains about him, Teylan is like a little brother to him and will protect no matter what. So then one day finds out the way that if you mess with Teylan you got the wrath of Solek after you.

Ooooooooooooooh~!!! BROMANCE!!! That is all I can see!!! Enjoy darling!!

---------------

Little fangs, sharp glare

Trusting humans is one thing so’lek took forever to gain. After everything he has lost, it's odd to be friends with some. He lost his clan, his family, and those close to him. It is not easy to get over it, with sadness comes anger, and with anger comes hate. So’lek deeply hates humans, not all, but those who fall under the RDA name. 

He also understands the pain of losing everything, losing all that you have ever known. So when he heard of what was once a long dead clan, its members returning, some hope was restored in his heart. 

It was too late for so’lek, but maybe there is still a chance for the remaining sarentu.

Speaking of sarentu, the 4 were very interesting. Too human for his liking, if so’lek didn't know anymore better, he would have been fooled into thinking they were dreamwalkers. Of course he shouldn't blame them, they were taken very young, raised in metal walls, not a touch of nature by humans. When they were freed, three of them wanted to reconnect to their roots. How to be a real na’vi. 

There is one, however, who enjoys being human. 

Teylan, the youngest of the sarentu, was……different. 

Spoke, walked, behaved, and thought just like a human. 

Granted, he is the youngest and was far more easy to manipulate and be molded to the humans liking. Yet now that he is free, he fears literally everything. Prefers to stay inside the resistance building, chooses to play with old and new technology. Chatting with humans, and his sarentu friends. 

But with other na’vi? Not a chance. 

Even Teylan fears so’lek. 

So’lek wonders how will teylan continue to live if he hasn't even truly thrived? 

“No thank you, I am fine where I am,” teylan kindly rejects. 

With an annoyed sigh, so’lek looked at him straight in the eyes, something that makes teylan very nervous about. 

“Teylan, computers and radio technology isn't going to help you out there” so’lek reminds the youngest sarentu. His eyes looking down at him, not in an interior way, but more rather of trying to sway teylan. 

“A-as if I want to go out there, it's scary a-and there is a lot of danger. I'm fine, besides, I am contributing b-by helping with the tech. Pretty outdated some of this stuff is” teylan tries to make excuses. 

Fighting never was something teylan wanted to do. Even back in TAP, if there was anything teylan rebelled in, it be wielding weapons and/or fighting. Violence is like a virus he wishes to stay away from. 

“P-please sir, I don't want to touch a gun. Never will” 

Hearing this, so’lek was reminded of the three laws of Eywa, one of them was to never touch the metals. Was too late for him, but maybe, just maybe, it is not too late for teylan. The na’vi that is more out of Eywa’s reach.

For weeks so’lek observed teylan, how he is adjusting to things. If there is one word to describe teylan, it is weak. In more ways than just physical. His sarentu friends grow stronger, wiser, and open to the massive world while teylan remains reserved, shy, and hesitant. Traits of someone weak. Even more since Teylan is capable of being mentally vulnerable. 

Perhaps there is some method so’lek can use to help teylan get stronger. Brute force and harsh words worked with the others. 

Being “soft” isn't something so’lek can get used to.

So’lek is such a scary na’vi in teylan’s eyes. Deep voice, tall, muscular, and very very hateful towards humans. So’lek was teylan’s first exposure to native na’vi. A real na’vi. And his first impressions were not so great. Yes, so’lek was very dangerous in his own right but he wasn't wild or mindless like how Mercer told him. 

So’lek is very clever, thinks through his plans and comes up with excellent war strategies. 

Everything Mercer said, and even alma to an extent, were wrong. 

Yes there is danger everywhere, and if teylan had it his way, he would make a pillow fort and play with old gadgets. Yet so’lek persists for him to train how to wield weapons and fight. 

Teylans knows how to wield a weapon he just chooses not to. 

“Damn, useless earpiece” so’lek grunts in annoyance. His ear piece that helps him to communicate with others isn't functioning well. It is not like he can get another one, muchless a newer earpiece. He can only work with what he has. 

Taking it off, so’lek examines it, for something so small, its so complex to repair it. He could ask one of the humans to fix it but they are already busy as it is. To take their time away for something small seems inconvenient for anyone. 

“I c-can fix it…” 

Turning around, he see’s Teylan standing a bit distance from him. Extending his arm out, so’lek hands the ar piece to the sarentu. 

Teylan was quick to work in, “it's not useless” he mutters. 

So’lek tilts his head, observing teylan’s hands, his fingers be delicate to the tiny piece, using tiny tools to examine it. 

“It's old” so’lek says, seeing a small red wire being taken out. 

“Yes, but so is everything here. It's not so easy to get new equipment. So the best we can do is maintain it in good condition. We have the parts, we can make it last longer” teylan speaks while replacing the red wire with a yellow wire and putting the tiny pieces back together. 

Handing the earpiece back to so’lek, he adds “If there is a piece for it, we can mend it back together again” 

With that, teylan smiles and walks away to do other things. 

So’lek puts on the earpiece and stays a bit to let his words linger in his mind. 

Perhaps teylan is correct.

Teylan jumped from being startled by a large bag landing beside him. 

“Easy! Are you trying to scare me?” he asks the person behind the little stunt, which was none other than so’lek. 

He grins a bit, “look into those items, see if anything is useful” with that he leaves. 

Curious, Teylan opens the bag and gasps in surprise. 

It was full of new and fresh spare parts and technology! 

Teylan knew so’lek goes on raids to destroy any RDA base but he never guessed so’lek would also be stealing any possible resources that could be useful. And useful they were. 

So Teylan was quick to work with these new toys. 

“Better security cameras, scanners, newer radars, updated databases. Teylan you thought of everything, well done” anqa praises. This causes teylan to blush a bit. Making his tail sway side to side. It makes him feel good, to be useful. To contribute in the best way he can. 

Teylan was about to make his way somewhere else when nor pulled him aside. 

“Teylan! Come with me, I finally mastered archery! Come, I can show you” nor said rather excitedly, ready to drag him outside. But teylan pulled away, quickly feeling uncomfortable. 

“No thanks nor, Im fine here, besides there is still much to do” he tries to excuse. 

Nor clicks his tongue, shaking his head. 

“Teylan, you have to learn how to fight. I get it, no guns, and that is fine. Not every weapon is some form of a gun, like a bow and arrows, or spears. How will you survive out there? What if you are alone and can't defend yourself? Don't be a baby teylan, even so’lek is disappointed” 

That last part hurt teylan. 

“Come on, I can even teach you how to hunt” nor offers. 

“No, that is worse, I don't want to hurt animals” teylan argues softly. Unable to raise his voice against his dearest friend. 

“Then how will you eat? Eating on powdered foods and fruit? This is for you own good. I don't want you to be left behind in necessary skills” nor goes on. 

But before it could go further, another stepped into the conversation. 

“Nor, ri’nela is calling for you, saying it's urgent” so’lek speaks, letting his heavy gaze glare down at him. 

Nor nods, and leaves. 

So’lek turns around to see teylan almost ready to cry. 

“Am I a disappointment?” 

Together they stand outside of the base, admiring the natural beauty surrounding them. Neither being the first to speak for the first few minutes. 

“You are not a disappointment, Teylan” so’lek was the first to speak. Not really looking at the sarentu, just looking beyond the land. 

“If anything, you surprise me” 

Teylan looked over at so’lek, feeling confused by that, “how so?” 

“You are more quiet, shy and a mess of nerves but you are strong in your own right. You surprise me by how quick you work, clearly your strong suits is that of repairing things” 

Teylan looks down, playing with his tools that hang from his belt. 

“I just don't want to be useless….I hate being seen as extra baggage that everyone has to take care off….even to my friends” teylan confesses. 

Sighing, he goes on, so’lek hearing his words. 

“I don't like weapons. I don't like guns. I know you know that, nor knows that, everyone does. But I also don't want to hold any other dangerous items. I just hate…violence. I want things to be peaceful, I want all humans to be nice, not just to each other but to this world. Stupid thinking, I know. I don't even see myself as hurting anyone. Doesn't matter if it is human or na’vi, hurting people is wrong…” 

A few minutes of silence passed before So'lek spoke again. 

“Do you know the laws of Eywa?” he asks, looking over at the youngest sarentu. 

“Laws of Eywa, no, never. I didnt even know there is laws” teylan answers honestly. 

Chuckling a bit, so’lek shakes hsi head. Should have known the RDA keeps such information away from him. 

“Well, there are. Three, they are: You shall not set stone upon stone. Neither shall you turn the turning wheel. Nor use the metals of the ground” so’lek says while using his fingers to point out each law. 

“Do you know what they mean?” he asks. 

“No, they seem confusing” teylan answers. 

“They mean you shall not use metal or stone materials. Something humans use, like making this base. As well as is it forbidden to dig up the natural metals from the ground” 

Teylan looks down at the ground, remembering the lessons alma taught him many years ago. 

“They sound simple…but I bet it is hard” 

So’lek nods, “for humans yes, but you oddly follow the three laws without even knowing. Which it is a good thing”

He places his hand on teylan’s hat, taking it off. 

“Hey, give it back” teylan tries to reach for his hat, but so’lek chuckles, keeping it away from his reach. 

“Easy, I won't take it away” 

Teylan huffs but lets it slide. 

“You know teylan, despite what nor tells you, you are strong in your own way. Yes, you may not know how to fight but you know how to make this place have a better chance in stance. You are clever and very smart, quick thinking in how to fix or improve things” so’lek praises. 

Teylan never knew he would hear such words from the mighty warrior.  

So’lek places the hat back on teylan’s head, “I will be strong for you young one so don't listen to what your friend tells you” 

The doors open to show the two men walking back inside the base, 

Nor sees teylan and tries to persist again. 

“Teylan, there you are! I was thinking, instead of archery why not using a spear? They are incredibly sharp and-” 

“Actually nor, I don't want to hear any more about weapons in general. I don't like it, so please stop telling me what to do when I an not comfortable with it” teylan says firmly in his voice, looking hard at nor. 

Nor was ready to scoff when he saw so’lek behind teylan. 

His glare piercing and deadly. 

“Alright teylan, I won't do it again” nor confirms, quickly walking away. 

Teylan sighs and smiles widely, turning around to see so’lek give a soft expression. 

“It worked! He stopped!” teylan grins happily. 

“See? Next time if he or anyone persists, just show your fangs at them, they will know better than to push you” so’lek says as he ruffle’s the young one’s hair. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is all for this one! Hope you all like it! Until next time! see ya!

[lylian333]

Kaiser x reader bully au

This is my first time writing and english is not my first language

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

word count :1036

warning:bullying ,harassing ,maybe suicidal (the reader is gender neutral but will be pregnant in the future of the story)((these were written before I knew his past)

You hated school...you didn't see any point in it, everyday you dread going to that miserable place with those shallow people.

From monday to friday you had to endure constant mockery from your classmates, you weren't the prettiest...smartest or athletic so you were an easy target for bullies.

Kaiser especially had a fun time picking on you...he knows you are a coward who doesn't fight back.

"Wow Y/N you came to school looking like that? Arent you embarrassed?"

You try to find another way out so that you could go to your class but kaiser grabs your backpack, making the other students laugh.

"Awww did I scare you so much you dropped your book bag on the ground?" He starts to laugh and makes the other students laugh with his ridicule towards you. "Did you know she cries at night...she can't even say one sentence without stuttering."

The students laugh and point at you. Kaiser gives the other kids a high five for making you seem so weak.

You try and reach your books but he holds your bag high above your head, he's tall so it's difficult for you to reach it.

"Let's play a game...you want your books back right?"

The classmates all start to laugh watching you struggle just to get your own stuff back.

Kaiser's facial expression is one of superiority, knowing he is much stronger than you....he could easily keep you here for hours if he so wished.

"Let's see here...why are you so weak?"

The other classmates laugh, he knows the answer...he just wants to hear you say it.

You try to speak up but you end up stuttering

"Oh? I think she's too scared to answer...let's all make her say it!"

The other classmates start to chant.

"Say it Y/N!~"

"Come on Y/N, speak up!~"

They're all waiting and anticipating your answer.

You end up giving him the answer

He finally releases your backpack and looks at you with a sadistic smirk.

"Hm...let's see here...you are weak because....your parents are poor...am I right?"

The classmates laugh, your parents being poor was something people always used to bully you...they knew it was true.

"Yeah, yeah that's it...you're family is poor and you can't afford nice things."

You grab your backpack trying to get away again

But since that he got an answer he doesn't care anymore, he lets go of your backpack but he has one last thing to do before he let's you leave.

"You do know I'm just gonna keep doing this right...you're always going to get bullied as long as you're weak."

He makes a motion of making muscles in his arm in an effort to show his strength.

"Remember what I said...you're weak and poor."

He laughs and turns his back on you leaving you crying, having gotten his kick from bullying you again.

When you finally got back to class, your eyes red from crying and your nose running. You look around the classroom and see the other students whispering amongst themselves laughing while pointing at you, some are shooting you death stares while others are smiling and chuckling mockingly.

The teacher notices you and gestures everyone to quiet down, she looks at you and asks the dreaded question.

Teacher: "Y/N...is everything alright dear? Were those nasty boys bullying you again?"

You hear the other students snickering, they already know the answer to that.

You reply to the teacher by whispering yes

The teacher feels sorry for you but it's obvious she's tired of you getting bullied all the time, she knows the other students get their kicks from it...you're the easy target. You can see the sympathy in her eyes though, she's really trying to help.

Teacher: "What were those boys saying to you this time? Can you tell me?"

"he said that i'm poor and weak..."

The teacher's expression changes to one of anger as she tries her best to stay professional but it's obvious she's upset.

Teacher: "Those horrible brats...they should know saying such things is wrong."

The other students roll their eyes at the teacher, this has happened many times before. The teacher turns to look at you, wanting to know if there was anything else.

The teacher's tone softens as she continues to speak to you.

Teacher: "Don't listen to them dear, don't let what they say get to you...just come to me whenever you need."

She has sympathy for you, she knows you're lonely...bullies target those who appear weak. She sees herself as your guardian. And she truly wants to help. The other students laugh and whisper to eachother making fun of the teacher and her words.

You went back to your seat

The teacher gives you a small smile as she sits back down and the class starts.

When you sit down at your seat, the other students whispering and laughing mockingly at you behind your back. You're sitting silently and waiting for the class to begin. You're trying your best to keep a low profile and get your mind off all the humiliation and bullying.

Your trying to think of something else but it keeps going back to Kaiser's words...you're poor and weak. You try not to let it get to you and keep your mind on the class, hoping it'll distract you from thinking about what happened in the hallway.

*timeskip till the end of the class*

As soon as the bell rings the class ends and everyone rushes to the doors trying to get out fast.

The hallway is filled with the sound of students laughing and talking loudly, their voices echoing off the walls of the school. The students are mostly talking loudly about the newest gossip going around, making fun of random people as usual.

You make your way out of the classroom and to the hallway but you see Kaiser waiting for you...he smiles as he sees you walking through the crowd of students.

He quickly approaches you and pulls you aside into an empty part of the hallway, the other students don't notice as they're too busy making fun of anyone they can think of. The hallway is still full of whispers and laughter even though the bell had already rung.

(also this is like a enemies to lovers but with bully and this story may contain....things)that all from me hope you guys love it

bonus: ai

I apologize if you don't like pink but it is my favorite so deal with it >:)

[austinsastrology8991]

> Interceptions; through signs/houses <

interceptions are an overcharged, under-appreciated facet within a natives chart. its something you are acutely aware of and are usually extremely distasteful/uncomfortable of. Its something that was neglected in previous lifetimes so you are forced to fix it now...

1st/7th house or Aries/Libra - these people are very noticeable but in a uncomfortable way for themselves and others... they come off extremely strong (they are very imposing accidentally but also not in a good way) and they are always switching between being extremely self conscious of this or very idgaf. This creates a dynamic where they come off very wat da fuq > and are projected onto a lot and have a habit of projecting onto others a lot. 2nd/8th house or Taurus/Scorpio - These people are very insecure, but others are usually extremely unaware of this, which only accelerates the natives insecurity. To others they come off very valuable(2)/powerful(8) but usually they do not relate to this feeling within themselves at all. They however may overcompensate these feelings of inferiority by appearing stronger than they feel inside, and they are very good at convincing others this. Until it does inevitably crumble and everyone is shocked because their facade is relatively strong. 3rd/9th house or Gemini/Sagitarrius - These people are very talkative or the opposite; they are mindful of their answers and those of others, but because of their overthinking tendencies it makes them very fidgety and always need to have a great deal of input into the conversation. This makes others not sure if they smart, because they low key annoying to talk to (ya'll just sayin too much) but they dont appreciate their own cleverness because they mentioned every dot point in existence and this makes them feel stupid; don't know what a summary means or you made 5 summaries which defeats the purpose of one in the first place. 4th/10th house or cancer/capricorn - These guys had a rough childhood and you've never seen a more self protective person of their image. So they never reveal much and this statue-esque vibe they give off is very unesettling and many people talk about this lack of care they display because everyone knows ya'll just give a shit way too much. They avoid responsibility and emotional vulnerability often, and it creates conflicts within their personal life and that of their reputation. 5th/11th house or leo/aquarius - They doin a lot of vibin and not in a viby way. Its too much and they know it too and this creates conflict within their personality of not feeling like they shine in the way they wish they could, so they try even harder to shine the way they envisioned. But too others its the same song / dance we are so used to seeing this with them. This creates conflict in their presence within the community, and it can make them have a poor self image/ identity. 6th/12th house or virgo/pisces - they work a lot but they never satisfied with what they did, so they again work even harder. You can find these guys up at 4 am still tinkering their assignment/ project and even if theirs so many details implanted into it, its never enough and so they still doing more. They also neglect things that are necessary such as eating, or cleaning, because they are so focused on what they wanted to accomplish. This hurts their spirit because they never feel satisfied with what they have done with their life, despite working so damn hard.

> Im going to talk about double signs in my next post; and your double signs are what makes your interceptions far more bearable/ useful. But I want to encourage everyone to work on their interceptions, because it is a weakness, but it really can become a strength if you just put some practical work into it. < How to find interception? easy check yo house cusp; E.g. >

intercepted aries/libra in 12th/6th ;p > BEcause the Aries / Libra symbols is absent ^^^^ also after pisces and before taurus is 'Aries' which is swallowed up within the 12th house****** <That should make it obvious how to read now**** Oh and we always getting 2 gifs do not worry and these gifs *special* they encapsulate intercepted energy perfectly.... actually intercepted energy initself is encapsulation!!!

[jellalism]

Noel x Reader: Taking care of his sick darling (Erotica)

Headcanons of what Noel would be like when you're sick.

Word count: 864 words

Genre: Comfort/horror (depending on the reader), erotica

Reader’s gender and sex: Gender neutral. Sex neutral.

Content warnings: Yandere and all that that entails; sexual content.

Notes: Noel is an OC of @devotion-disorder. The art in the banner is also by them! I didn't originally mean to write smut, but it turned out that about a third of the fic is sexual. Whoops.

Read below or on AO3.

When you’re sick, there is a part of Noel that secretly enjoys it. Although he doesn’t want to see you suffer—unless he’s the one inflicting the pain—he loves getting to take care of you, all frail-looking and weak. He makes sure you stay in bed all day, and only get up to go to the bathroom. When he’s not with you, he locks the bedroom door from the outside, so that you can’t walk around the house without his permission.

Food and drinks, he’ll bring to you. He makes eating as easy as possible for you: he doesn’t just bring you fruit, he cuts it into bite-sized pieces first. He also feeds you. At first, you tell him that you can handle that much yourself. But he insists: “No, you need to rest, and you need to stay warm. So keep your hands under the blanket, honey.” You don’t have the energy to argue with him, so you just let him. Part of you doesn’t even mind. You feel miserable with this sickness, so maybe it’s not that bad being doted on…? Just for a little while, at least.

Noel’s feelings about you only grow stronger every day that you’re bed-bound. He thinks you’re adorable, all bundled up in the blankets; so vulnerable, so delicate. More than ever, he feels that only he is allowed around you; other people are dangerous. It’s for your own safety, of course! “I’ll keep you safe… just trust me,” he mutters, sitting by your bedside as you are asleep. He desperately wants to play with your hair, but he doesn’t want to wake you. So, he stays his hand as he keeps watch over you for hours while your unconscious body is fighting the disease.

A bonus for you is that he does not want to have sex as long as you aren’t feeling well. That said, if your sickness takes more than three days, he needs to let off steam somehow. So, during one of your daytime naps, he’ll sit at your bedside and start masturbating to your defenseless figure. God, how he’d love to fuck you hard again, and see that sweet, innocent, and delicate face beneath him. Fantasizing like this, he cums hard.

One time, his cum shoots out so hard that some of it ends up on your face. He sighs in relief when he realizes it didn’t wake you. But when he wipes the sperm off with his finger, your eyes flutter open. That’s when he loses it. You had his cum on your face, and now your sleepy, defenseless face is looking up at him while he’s naked. He lays down next to you and starts masturbating. When you want to look away, he forbids it and forcibly makes sure you keep facing him. “Look at me. See how hard I am for you? God, I wish I could wreck that little hole of yours again. When you’re all better, you’re in for a real treat.” Noel allows you to close your eyes, but you can’t close your ears. Seeing you so close to him and knowing you can hear all his dirty talk turns him on even more. He changes his position: now, he’s sitting on his knees with your body in between, his crotch close to your face. “You can sleep if you want, y/n,” he says with a grin. You close your eyes and try to sleep, but it’s difficult when you hear his fapping so close to your face. After a few minutes, he starts breathing heavily; he must be getting close. With a moan, he ejaculates, and you feel his cum all over your face. “You look so good right now. You’re mine, baby.”

While he would prefer to stay by your side every second of the day, he still has to stream—it is how he earns money, after all. He does it a little differently from usual. As long as you’re sick, he only plays single-player games, so that he can pause whenever he likes. He placed a baby cam in the bedroom, which he keeps an eye on during the stream. Whenever you call for him, he will immediately go to you. Sometimes, seeing you on that little screen just isn’t enough, and he’ll pause to check in on you physically. He needs to know for sure that you’re still asleep, and if you’re not, if you need anything. He knows you won’t call for him unless you really want something or need to go to the bathroom. So going to you on his own accord and checking in with you tends to be more effective; after a little encouragement, you’ll admit that, yes, you would like some tea, fruit, or crackers.

Noel mentioned on his stream that he will go AFK every so often to check in on his beloved partner, who is sick. The chat thinks it’s adorable that he is such a doting boyfriend, and some people even express the wish that Noel was their boyfriend instead. However, Noel is resolute: “I love you all, but none of you stand a chance. y/n is the only one for me.”

[shallyne]

Sisterhood

A little drabble between Nesta and Feyre. Canon divergent, around the start acosf.

"Do you see how easy it is to get into your apartment now?"

Nesta jumped up from a stained chair, whirling to Feyre with a glare. If looks could kill, Feyre would be dead. But so epuld Nesta because Feyre was besides herself with worry because Nesta was too stubborn to let the complex, her apartment, get fixed. Feyre wasn't worried because someone could do her harm, Velaris was a peaceful city and this part of the city was the nearest to a slum, it was still okay, just outdated. What worried Feyre was that Nesta didn't know, didn't even listen, but still didn't care if she was safe.

"You are Fae!" Nesta nearly barked, stomping to the door and gesturing for Feyre to leave. "You can winnow wherever you want. Now go."

Feyre waved a hand and turned her back to Nesta, taking a look at the dirty apartment. "Not if you ward it." she replied to her sister as she took a look in a cupboard. It was empty, of course it was. She had to take one look at her sister to know nothing was here. Nesta had lost weight, too quickly, even for Fae. She only went out to bars, keeping herself up with booze and, occasionally, very expensive fruit. Feyre wouldn't mind if Nesta spent her money, if it was for necessities like clothing and food and hygiene products. She wouldn't mind if Nesta allows herself luxuries. No, she did mind when her sister was slowly killing herself. With a snap of Feyre's fingers, the apartment was clean and food filled the cupboards. "I'm not here to make fun of you, Nesta."

"Oh really?" she slammed the front door and walked over to a window. "So you aren't talking to your precious inner circle about me? You won't tell them how pathetic I am, rotting in a disgusting apartment?"

"We talk because we want to help you!" Feyre said agitated. Nesta couldn't really believe they made fun of her for struggling. Everyone one of them had struggled once, if someone could understand a struggle it was her precious inner circle. Especially Feyre and Elain. "And no, they don't even know I'm here. I wanted to see how you are doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing?" Nesta asked. There was less bite in the question than Nesta wanted to, if Feyre could read the way she clenched her jaw correctly.

"I think you must be lonely." Feyre said, a little softer. "I think xou could use some company."

"I don't want company."

"Why are you like this?" Feyre asked, exasperated. "Why don't you let me help you? Or Elain, I know you two are closer–"

"Were." Nesta interrupted, crossing her arms and looking away.

"Why?"

"I guess spite is stronger than love." her sister said, a tad sadly. But she cleared her throat and stood straight, as if showing emotion was any weakness. Nesta probably thought that, was sure about it, as our mother had tought her.

"And that's why you are alone." Feyre said, quietly but Nesta heard it. "Food is in the cupboards, anything you wish for. It won't go bad. If you need anything, send word. I'm at the house or the gallery."

Feyre walked to the door, pressing the door handle down. When the door was already halfway open, Nesta said, almost whispered, " I'm not alone."

Feyre asked, "What do you mean?"

"You're here, are you not?" her sister said and when Feyre turned around, Nesta's blue-gray eyss were already trained on here.

"You push me away all the time." Feyre replied, swallowing down the wave of emotions that were crawling uo her throat, the tears that almost spilled.

"Yet you stand in my apartment. Quite rudely, but you do."

Feyre sighed and closed the door, fully facing her sister. "You don't want the Inner Circle as company, you don't wsnt me or Elain, you don't want friends." Nesta opened her mouth but Fexre kept talking, "What about priestesses?"

"What? No. I'm nit becoming a priestess."

"That's not what I mean. The library, in the house of wind, priestesses are working there. Maybe I can get you a job there, I'll have to ask, it's their decision." Feyre showed a hint of a smile, "You'll mostly be alone. The priestesses are doing their tasks, you'll do yours. You love books, do you not? I remember you spending every free minute in a library when we were kids and mother was away to another party." It was one of the very few domestic memories Feyre had.

"I–" Nesta said. "I don't know."

"You'll get out of the apartment, you'll do something in an environment you like." Feyre probably sounded desperate, she didn't care. "Please let me ask, if you don't like it we can talk about alternatives."

"Fine, but you'll have to let me quit if I don't like it." Nesta said, muttering something else under her breath that Feyre couldn't understand.

"I will," Feyre said, sure that Nesta wouldn't. She'd like the library, provided that the priestesses agree to let her work there. "I will talk to Rhys and write a letter to Clotho."

Nesta huffed and Feyre knew it was the mention of her mate that triggered that reaction. "Why don't you like him?"

"He's an arrogant asshole." Nesta snapped. "He thinks the worst of me, he won't let me near the library."

"Well, firstly, that's part of his charm. Secondly, I'll get what I want," Feyre grinned at her sister. "Don't you worry about that."

She saw the tick on Nesta's mouth, the side that almost went up. "Fine."

"Great, I'll get her when I get news back about your job." Feyre opened the door again, for the final time, "Again, if you need anything send word."

"Bye." Nesta said clipped and when the door fell closed behind Feyre, she breathed a sigh of relief.

[simshousewindsor]

LONG LIVE THE QUESTION

[Buckingsim Palace, 1:32 PM WST]

Queen Katherine: Hi, mommy. How long have you been here?

Queen Rowena: I only just arrived. Alfred said everyone was gathering in here first. How are you?

Queen Katherine: (kiss) I'm good. Exhausted! I wish the rain would stop. The children have been quite a handful today. The palace is quieting down from the last few weeks of engagements, though.

Queen Rowena: I do not miss having a full dowry. How is Rainier adjusting? Where is he?

Queen Katherine: He should be back by now. He and his Navy buddy's went on a 'boys trip".

Queen Rowena: Speaking of, I'll be taking a trip this summer for a few weeks.

Queen Katherine: Oh? Is everything okay?

Queen Rowena: I just need some time away to think.

Queen Katherine: Don't think too long or you'll start feeling sad.

Princess Lara: What are you two over there whispering about, and what time is lunch? I'm eating for two and we're both hungry!

Queen Katherine: Eating like this, you must be having a boy!

Queen Rowena: I think it's a girl!

Princess Lara: We find out next week. (agonizing) Whatever it is, it kicks hard!

Queen Katherine: I should find out if Rainier is back. I was waiting on him to start lunch.

Queen Rowena: (happy) I'll visit with the Queen Dowager for a bit. I haven't seen her in weeks.

Queen Katherine: She's gotten quite weak. Be prepared.

- - - - - LATER - - - - -

Prince Rainier: (looking at photo)

Queen Katherine: You made it back!

Prince Rainier: Yeah. I was just unpacking a few things before I changed.

Queen Katherine: Everyone is here so, lunch is in 15 minutes.

Prince Rainier: I'll be down shortly.

Queen Katherine: You seem different. Is everything okay?

Prince Rainier: Just tired.

- - - - - LATER - - - - -

Queen Rowena: How are you feeling?

Queen Zarah: Oh (wheezing) not too bad.

Queen Rowena: The family is having lunch. Would you like to come?

Queen Zarah: (wheezing) No. I am far too weak.

Queen Rowena: I'll let you rest.

Queen Zarah: Rowena?

Queen Rowena: Yes, Your Majesty?

Queen Zarah: Take care of the family. My time is (wheezing) soon coming. It will be up to you to (wheezing) keep them together.

Queen Rowena: Don't speak of such things!

Queen Zarah: I must admit, (wheezing) when George first said he found a wife on his own, I was skeptical you would be worthy. You were so refined with a rare (wheezing) mystery. I could never figure you out. You (wheezing) were a steadfast wife to my son, a loving mother to my grandchildren, and a gentle consort (wheezing) to the United Kingdom.

Queen Rowena: (somber) Thank you, mother.

Queen Zarah: You remind me so much of (wheezing) Queen Lara-Leigh. She was such an elegant consort.

Queen Rowena: Oh, Queen Dowager! We just lost George two years ago. We're not ready to lose you too!

Queen Zarah: My time is not now but soon. I (wheezing) just want you to be prepared.

Queen Rowena: I... I should go. Lunch should be starting shortly. I'll stop by again before I leave.

Queen Zarah: I'd like that.

Queen Zarah: You're stronger (wheezing) than you think, Rowena.

- - - - - LATER - - - - -

Queen Katherine: Thank you for coming! I know it wasn't easy for many of you to clear your dowry's and trek all the way to the palace so, thank you for coming.

Prince Rainier: (laughs) But feel free to leave after lunch.

Queen Katherine: We have been through a lot over the last year. I won't repeat what I said at Christmas in December, but if it weren't for each of you my first full year as head of the family would not have been so smooth.

Queen Katherine: I also owe the success of my coronation to each of you, and your Houses. Thank you for coming on this ride with me, and with Windenburg.

Prince Louis: We love and support you, Kate!

Queen Katherine: Rainier, the kids, and I will be leaving for Beaverdam next week before our first royal tour to Americreek so, this lunch is meant for us to stop, breath, and fellowship. With that, has everyone who's not pregnant gotten a glass of champagne?

Princess Lara: (laughs) Oh, thanks!

Queen Katherine: (toast) Cheers to What has been, and What is to come! To the House of Windsor!

Prince Rainier: (toast) Long Live the Queen!

All: Long Live the Queen!

THE END - PART 2

Previous | Beginning | The End - of The Amethysts Quest (story)

Previous | Beginning | The End - of Heir Ascent (story)

Previous | Beginning | The End - of Consort Redemption (story)

Previous | Beginning | The End - of Second Place Countess (story)

[huntingrays]

72 for the Spotify ask thing?

72/71

72 - The Horse and the Infant by Jorge Rivera-Herrans

Couldn’t think of a way to valgrace-ify a song from the Epic Saga so I skipped and went with 71

71 - The Archer by Taylor Swift

I think this is more loosely based on some of the lyrics, and way fluffier than this p angsty song, but this is all just for some fun, lighthearted writing! Took way longer than I liked to write this all tho

Original post

“Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold onto you”

Leo jolted as he woke up from his nightmare with a gasp. He let out a shaky sigh, running his hands down his face.

It was common for Leo to have nightmares, especially nightmares about the various tragedies in his life. However, typically whatever nightmare god out there was kind enough to limit it to one of his traumas. This night was different. Apparently, Leo hadn’t suffered enough after literally dying, so he just had a nightmare about practically every shitty thing that happened to him, from his mom’s death to awful foster homes to the trauma-filled Argo II quest, to his death. Leo was typically unsettled after reliving one of various traumas in a nightmare. After tonight, he felt off, weak, and shaky.

Leo sat up on his bed, shutting his eyes as he pressed the heels of his hands into them, trying to forget the memories that raced through his head, suppressing the pitiful whine that wanted to come through.

He felt like he was seven years old again when he would get scared and unsettled after having a nightmare. Back then, he’d go running to his mom. He would wake her up and she would hold him close, letting Leo fall asleep cuddled with her in her bed.

Leo couldn’t go running to his mom anymore. After she died, whenever he had a nightmare, he’d just deal with it by suppressing his feelings, which wasn’t healthy but was what he was most used to.

As much as Leo just wanted to forget the nightmare and resort to his typical suppression of his feelings, this time was different. This nightmare left him feeling unsettled, and scared and brought back his clinginess that he thought he’d left behind him in his childhood.

He couldn’t just stay here. He couldn’t fall back asleep on his own.

He was wondering if he could convince Nico to bring back his mom as a ghost, just so he could talk to her when he suddenly recalled that he had two best friends who would let him cuddle with them if he had a nightmare.

He felt a twinge of embarrassment at the thought of going to one of them just because he had a nightmare, but his need for physical contact was stronger than his embarrassment.

Leo checked the time. It was 2 AM.

It was summer, so Camp Half Blood was full of campers. Leo didn’t want to wake anyone who wasn’t Piper in the Aphrodite cabin - or deal with them thinking a lesbian and gay man had feelings for each other, which they already seemed to think - so he figured he could go to Jason since he was the only one in the Zeus cabin.

It was definitely because he couldn’t see Piper. It was definitely that, and not his feelings for Jason or the fact that he made Leo feel safe. Nope, definitely not.

All of his siblings in Cabin Nine were sound asleep, so he made sure to be as quiet as he could be as he slipped out of the cabin. Luckily, he didn’t run into anyone or anything in his dash from Cabin Nine to Cabin One.

Leo took a deep breath to steady his nerves before knocking on the door to the cabin. Leo suddenly wished he had his toolbelt with him, but he always took it off before going to bed so he didn’t have it on him. Instead of fiddling with some device, messed with his fingers as he waited for Jason.

It didn’t take long for Jason to open the door. He looked tired as he squinted at Leo, not able to see him clearly due to his lack of glasses.

“Leo? What are you doing here?”

“Hey, can I stay here with you tonight?” Leo asked, not bothering to explain just yet. He wanted to feel safer and calmer before he went into all of it. Also, he knew an explanation wasn’t necessary. Jason never needed one, not when it came to those he cared about. If they came to him and needed something, whether it be a favor or just quality time, he would provide it.

Jason looked puzzled, but he nodded. He walked away from the door, going to his bedside table to grab his glasses. Leo walked into the cabin, closing the door behind him.

The cabin always freaked him out, mainly due to the huge Zeus statue. The only thing Leo liked about the cabin was Jason.

Once Jason had his glasses on, he took a moment to observe Leo before sitting on his bed, patting the spot next to him. Jason had such an intense, piercing stare, even when he didn’t intend it to be so. Whenever he had Jason’s undivided attention, he felt so flustered yet pleased by it. He always felt like Jason could see right through him, that he noticed every little thing about Leo. The thought of being so seen was both scary and comforting.

Leo sat down next to him, close enough that their shoulders were brushing, needing physical contact to help ground and comfort him.

“Is there a reason you wanted to sleep here tonight?” Jason asked, getting straight to the point.

Leo flashed a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Do I need a reason other than that I missed your handsome face?”

Leo thought he saw a slight blush on Jason’s cheeks, but the dim lighting in the room made it hard to tell. Jason’s gaze didn’t falter. He narrowed his eyes, placing a hand on Leo’s shoulder, and squeezing it. The touch made Leo want to jump into his arms, to feel arms around him, to feel safe in an embrace.

“Leo, we’ve talked about your deflecting,” Jason said, lightly scolding him.

Leo sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.”

The cabin went quiet. Jason let Leo sit with his thoughts and emotions, to ruminate until he was able to voice what was bothering him. Leo appreciated it. Jason may not always know what to do or say, but the fact that he always tried - especially with Leo - always made him feel better, even if it wasn’t what he needed or wanted at the time. To Leo, the thought meant more to him. To Leo, someone caring about him meant the world. That was all he needed.

“I shouldn’t be so bothered. It was just a nightmare. We’re demigods, we have plenty of nightmares. It was just some bad memories. I shouldn’t be so bothered. I shouldn’t… but I am. I don’t know why this one suddenly unsettled me. I just- I need someone to be with,” Leo said, and his voice suddenly went softer, quieter. “I don’t want to be alone.”

The arm suddenly went around Leo’s shoulder, pulling him into Jason’s side. Leo melted into the touch, his eyes closing. Jason rubbed his back and Leo let out a content exhale at the feeling.

“Hey, you don’t have to feel bad about that. I’m sure I would feel shaken as well if I suddenly had to relive my awful memories. I’m glad you came to me, okay?” Leo nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Leo shrugged. “I don’t know. It was mainly just a rehashing of all the crappy shit I went through. Like a highlight reel, but only full of moments that made me miserable.”

Jason’s hand moved from his back to his head, running his fingers through his curls. Leo hummed, pushing his head into the feeling. He felt Jason chuckle.

“You’re like a cat,” Jason mused, amusement in his voice. Leo grumbled softly at the comment.

Leo didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but it was at least a couple of minutes. Leo just stayed against Jason, enjoying the contact and the touch. Being like this with Jason helped him calm down.

“You make me feel safe,” Leo suddenly mentioned, breaking the silence. Jason hummed in question, prompting him to go on. “I haven’t truly felt safe since my mom died. Having someone who makes me feel secure is frightening. I’m scared that you’ll be taken from me or that you’ll leave me. I know you wouldn’t, you’re not like that, but still. I’m scared you’ll leave, but I’m even more terrified you’ll stay. Nothing in my life has ever been safe and secure, at least it hasn’t been in years. I don’t know how to deal with it, how to process it, how to… let myself have it. It’s all so new. Maybe my brain gave me the nightmare to try and psych me out. Maybe it was just a nightmare. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. My feelings are just- they’re so jumbled up.”

Jason was quiet after that. Leo knew Jason was just mulling over his words, based on how he was still running his hand through his curls. Leo just focused on the feeling and not how his thoughts ran a mile a minute.

“You came to me,” Jason suddenly said. Leo shifted so he could look at Jason’s face, humming in question. “You came to me. You didn’t just deal with it by suppressing it like I know you would’ve done before. This whole thing, with trusting people and letting yourself be happy, it’s going to take a while, but you’re getting there. They’re baby steps, sure, but those are still steps. Also, you talked to me about how you’re feeling. It’ll be a process, with you learning how to let yourself be happy, but you’ll get there, and I’ll be here to support you. Even if you can’t believe or trust it just yet, I’ll be here before and well after you can.”

“Still,” Leo mumbled with a groan, “it’s exhausting. Why does this all have to be so tiring?”

Jason hummed and shifted, pulling Leo into his arms instead of just into his side. Leo wrapped his arms around him, clenching the back of his shirt and resting his chin on Jason’s shoulder. “It’s like working out. You can’t work out without pain.”

Leo rolled his eyes, moving his arm to lightly wack Jason’s arm. Jason laughed. “Okay, Superman. Just casually imply you’re incredibly buff and handsome thanks to your workouts.”

“I never said I was handsome. I think that’s all your thoughts, buddy,” Jason said, a teasing lilt to his voice. Leo couldn’t object, since he was right on the money.

“Can we go to sleep?” Leo might have gone through a lot of improvement, but he couldn’t completely change overnight. So, when he got too flustered or overwhelmed, he tended to avoid the topic or change the subject.

“Of course. Let’s get some rest. I’ll just-” Jason got up to leave, to sleep in one of the spare beds (Jason requested for them to be added after the war since Leo and Piper loved sleeping over in his cabin) but Leo grabbed his sleeve, stopping him before he could leave.

Jason looked back at him, tilting his head in confusion, resembling a confused dog. Jason often compared him to a cat and Leo thought Jason often resembled a dog, which made sense since he was raised by wolves.

Leo sighed, looking up at him and fighting off his nerves. “Can you- can… ugh, can we please just- just cuddle?”

Leo hoped he wasn’t blushing. He felt thankful he didn’t burst into flames, which happened more often than he’d like when he got flustered. As much as Leo flirted, he was very easy to fluster, especially when someone responded to his flirting and flirted back. Once, he flirted with Jason but did it in a joking tone so Jason wouldn’t take it seriously. However, instead of ignoring it like he usually did, Jason flirted back with Leo, causing Leo’s brain to short-circuit. He hoped Jason didn’t notice. As serious and kind as Jason could be, he could also be little shit and loved to mess with Leo.

Jason blinked at him, his lack of an expression expressing his shock more than anything. “You… want to cuddle?”

Leo wanted to bolt, but he forced himself to stay. He looked away from Jason. “It was stupid to ask. Let’s just forget about it.”

“No, no, no,” Jason objected, sitting next to him, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean it like that! I was just… surprised. I didn’t peg you as a cuddler.”

“I used to be very clingy as a child. However, growing up, I never really had anyone I was comfortable enough to cuddle with, so I just suppressed it.”

“And you’re comfortable with me?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Obviously, Superman. Now you have the privilege of being the main victim of my clinginess.”

“Well, I’m honored,” Jason said with a grin. Leo thought it was unfair how cute he looked when he smiled. It did terrible things to his heart.

Jason opened his arms, an invitation for Leo to cuddle with him. He looked way too happy about it. Leo rolled his eyes but smiled and moved into his arms. His heart skipped a beat once he felt Jason wrap his arms around him, moving so they were lying down, making sure not to jostle Leo too much. Jason was an odd mix between oblivious and a considerate gentleman.

Leo wasn’t sure he’d be able to fall asleep, but all it took was Jason telling him about some of his more boring days at Camp Jupiter and Leo fell fast asleep to the sound of his crush’s voice and the comfort of being safe in someone’s arms.

____

When Leo woke up in the morning, a big part of him wanted to fall back asleep, so he could stay in Jason’s arms longer, to stay where he felt comfortable and safe.

He shifted and gazed at Jason, taking in his features as the other slept. He looked so peaceful as he slept.

He wasn’t thinking as he moved a hand to Jason’s face, gently tracing it on his lip over the scar there, the scar that was left by a stapler, according to Thalia. His lips lifted as he pondered how done with him Jason would be if Leo put a stapler in his room with a sticky note saying ‘DO NOT EAT’ on it. Leo thought it would be funny, but he figured Jason would disagree.

Leo’s hand stilled and panic flared inside him as Jason’s eyes fluttered before opening, looking puzzled as he gazed at Leo, his tired mind slowly catching up with what was happening.

Leo went to yank his hand away, an apology forming on his lips, but before he could Jason grabbed his wrist, keeping Leo’s hand where it was.

As Leo’s mind raced, trying to come up with something to say as Jason fixed him with his intense stare.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know- I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”

Leo was expecting Jason to crack a joke, like asking Leo if he ever thought, but he didn’t.

Instead of any usual Jason response that Leo was expecting, Jason gave him a soft, sleepy smile. “You’re pretty affectionate this morning,” he teased.

Leo didn’t use his brain, instead just responding without using his mouth to brain filter. “If you’d like me to be more affectionate, I can give you a kiss good morning.”

After the words left his mouth, Leo mentally berated himself for not only being an idiot, but a gay idiot at that. Leo typically hated when people thought of him as an idiot - he made jokes to defuse tension, but he wasn’t an idiot, idiots couldn’t build a whole ass flying ship - but he agreed this time that he was a bit of an idiot. He may jokingly flirt with Jason from time to time, but all those instances had been lighthearted with a very obvious joking tone. It was a bit harder to excuse this as a joke when it was preceded by a night of cuddling as well as Leo waking Jason up by stroking his upper lip.

Jason blinked a few times, staring at Leo in shock. Leo stared back at him, not knowing what else to do other than wait for whatever was going to happen. He briefly considered running off, moving to a new country, changing his name, and starting a new life. He figured Piper would claim he was dramatic if he did that, though, so he didn’t.

“Are you joking?” Jason asked, his voice soft with a hint of something else in it. It sounded oddly like… hope.

Leo decided to just say ‘fuck it’ and took a leap of faith.

“Would it be crazy if I said I wasn’t?”

Jason suddenly sat up, gazing down at Leo. Leo felt the dread of rejection settling over him. He was pondering what new name he would choose - he liked Lance - when Jason suddenly beamed down at him. Leo slowly sat up, a small flame of hope reigniting in his chest.

“You’re serious?” Jason asked, checking a second time, his voice breathless.

Leo resisted the urge to make a snarky comment. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. “My lips are precious. I wouldn’t offer to kiss just anyone, especially not a good morning kiss. Those are reserved for those I have a crush on.”

Jason took a second to process the words before he let out a small, breathless laugh. He pressed his forehead against Leo’s. Leo felt his heart hammering away like crazy in his chest and he wondered if Jason was able to hear it.

“You have a crush on me?”

Leo wondered how much he’d have to repeat himself before it through Jason’s head that he had liked the guy and wanted to kiss his stupid face.

He smiled both fondly and exasperatedly at Jason.

“Yes, you dumb wolf boy. I have a big, fat crush on you.”

Jason’s expression didn’t change much. He still looked filled with happiness, as pleased as punch.

“So, if we both like each other, then you won’t have any objections to me kissing the hell out of you?” Jason asked.

Leo grinned and shook his head. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Jason didn’t wait a second longer. He leaned in, pressing his lips against Leo’s.

The kiss both was and wasn’t like how it was described in books. There were no fireworks or some life-changing feeling, but it felt right. Kissing Jason felt like home. It felt warm and comforting. It wasn’t magical or anything - they were two barely experienced teens with morning breath - but it was them, it was him and Jason, it was everything he wanted for months. That’s what made it so amazing.

As Jason pulled away from the kiss, Leo let out a small, breathless laugh, brimming with happiness at finally having his feelings returned.

Jason was serious about kissing the hell out of him. He grinned as he pressed a bunch of kisses onto Leo’s face. As he kissed his face, Leo grinned and giggled, happiness bursting inside him.

Leo wasn’t sure if Jason was naturally this affectionate, but if he was then it would take some time getting used to it, but he was very much looking forward to it.

Jason ended his kisses with one peck on his lips before pulling away, grinning.

Leo laid back down on the bed, gazing up at Jason, one hand moving up to run through his hair. Jason leaned into the touch.

“How long do you think we can stay here before someone comes to drag our asses out of bed?” Leo didn’t mention any names, but they both knew who they were referring to.

“Maybe less than an hour?” Jason guessed. “She’d probably get suspicious if she sees that we’re both not at breakfast.”

“Nah, I give it thirty minutes tops. She’s both our best friend and an Aphrodite kid. She probably has a sixth sense to detect whenever we stop pining and do something about our feelings.”

They had twenty minutes to lounge around together, where they mainly just talked about nothing while cuddling before Piper barged into Cabin One. Leo was right about the Aphrodite sense thing since she seemed to know what just happened just by looking at them, without them having to explain. She rolled her eyes, saying it was about damn time they got together, before declaring they’d been lovey for long enough and now they need to go hang out all together as a trio.

He couldn’t suppress the smile that took over his face as he listened to Piper and Jason bickering as they left the cabin, with Piper giving Jason the shovel talk (since he and Piper were as good as siblings) and Jason complaining that Piper was both his best friend and ex, she should know he was a good boyfriend but also she should also be giving this talk to Leo, which she refused to do, much to Leo’s amusement and satisfaction.

Leo still had a lot of worries and insecurities. All this, his friends, his new relationship, his happiness, it was all so new and fresh. He was terrified it would all vanish, but at the same time, he never wanted it to go away. Though he was scared that something would happen, when he watched the two people he loved the most in the world - two people who loved him more than he could’ve ever dreamed - joking around happily with not only each other but with Leo as well, he felt those fears fade away. He knew he would struggle, that things wouldn’t be easy, especially as a demigod, but moments like these made it easier, moments like these helped him face the dark times.

He thought, that just maybe, things would be okay.

[astoldbyaja]

The Pink Blossom- Ch.16

Nathan held my forearm gently as he guided us both back over to Katsumoto. My legs felt lifeless almost. I could barely listen to what was going on.

“See to it that everyone is in their homes safe tonight!” Katsumoto replied to his men. They nodded and began to move. Nobutada approached with a piece of parchment in his hands. He handed it to his father.

“One of the assassins had this.” he said. Katsumoto looked over the paper and slowly looked up at me. I was confused by his hardened eyes on me.

“It seems these men were sent to kill me and to abduct Grace on behalf of the emperor as a sign she and the American are alive.” he explained. I was caught off guard by this and looked at Nathan heavily confused. Why not just come for Nathan instead? A brief council meeting was held in Katsumoto’s home that Nathan was sitting in. I didn’t go inside the actual room, but I was permitted to sit outside, the silent samurai stood beside me. This made sense, I was a complete mess, and everyone inside have seen combat and death. They recovered immediately. I was still processing what I had done. And I did not wish to look weak in front of Ujio and possibly embarrass him in front of the other men.

“Has my student spoken with Grace before?” Katsumoto asked, obviously speaking to Nathan.

“Yes. He, like many, were curious of Grace. He called upon her many times to ask her questions and learn about African- American life in America since Japan was going into business with them.” he explained. I closed my eyes and looked down. What Nathan said was true. Emperor Meiji had sent for me many times during Nathan’s training of his army.

-----

He touched my face and my arms and asked me why my teeth were not black like my skin. He was respectful, even if some of the questions he asked me were somewhat prejudiced.

“Your skin is not like that of this coal stone.” he said holding up a small thing of coal to me. He then raised the coal to my cheek to compare. I politely smiled, not offended.

“No enlightened one, my people come from different tribes, and we have many different shades of my color.” His eyes widened.

“So, it is possible to be as dark as this coal?” he asked stunned. I nodded.

“Yes, enlightened one.” I replied. He nodded.

“You were once a slave?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yes, my freedom was bought, and my ownership papers were signed and stamped as free.” I replied.

-----

“The letter says if this mission fails then to send an even stronger force.” Katsumoto replied. I gasped at the ground upon hearing this.

I lied awake tonight not even giving myself hope that I would be okay enough that I would be able to sleep. No matter how many times Ujio kissed my cheeks or stroked my hair, or even pulled my body close to his, I couldn’t get the assassin’s face, or what I did to him, out of my head. I just stared at the ceiling wishing I wasn’t existing here right now. I sat up pulling away from Ujio’s hold. I just ran my fingers through my hair. Ujio sat up with me resting his hand on his knee.

“You did the right thing tonight.” he said, and I just continued to stare down at my feet.

“Then why do I feel so horrible?” I asked, and he gave a humorous snort of which I looked at him.

“Because, you have never taken a life before. It is not easy to do especially in such a quick paced situation,” he said. I inhaled some and nodded. “But I am proud of you. Had you not killed that man, Magojiro would have died tonight along with many others. Taka is grateful to you. Lord Katsumoto is grateful to you.”

 I closed my eyes in thought of his words before nodding yet I still felt so disgusting.

“Who sent those men after Katsumoto, the emperor?” I asked looking at him worriedly. If there was one thing I knew about Emperor, it was that he was a student of Katsumoto who respected the rebel leader highly. I could not see him sending men to kill him let alone want me back as a sign of good faith. Ujio slowly shook his head.

“I don’t know.” he said, and I just nodded.

“Do you believe more will come?” I asked. He shook his head once more and sighed heavily.

“I cannot answer that.” he told, and I just nodded looking down some. I hated myself for what I was about to say.

“Katsumoto said… more will come. I cannot stay here if lives will constantly be in danger because of me or Nathan or anyone.” I whispered fearful for what he might say. Ujio gave a gentle wince before taking my hand.

“When the assassins attacked, I was not thinking about my lord’s safety as I killed those men. I was not thinking about if he was protected or in harm’s way. I should have been, but I wasn’t.” he said, and I looked up at him as he gently placed his calloused hand on my cheek, his thumb grazing it. “I thought about you.”

I stared at him more intently now as I realized, we were both distractions to each other as I distracted him more from his duties to Katsumoto.

“When…Algren was looking for you, I was fearful that he would find your body among the dead, that you were left unprotected and so something had happened.” he said, his voice expressing vulnerability. I closed my eyes leaned into his touch and felt a tear slide down my cheek.

“I love you, but I cannot lose you.” My eyes snapped open, and I looked up at him not expecting that at all from this conversation. I expected a disagreement from him and maybe a slight argument about our distractions to one another. His eyes showed so much strength and power. I knew I did not want to lose him, but this would not be living if more men were going to attack the village. Our eyes were saying the words our voices could not let out. I sighed with content and leaned into his chest resting my cheek over his hair that covered his heart.

“And I love you.” I whispered softly, and he just held me close. I closed my eyes letting more tears fall.

The next morning, I awoke to Ujio gone but beside me was a bowl of rice and dumplings and I ate them silently. I met with Nathan, and we walked the fields again.

“It was Omura who attacked. And I guarantee, there will be more attacks. If you are going to be here, you need to learn to defend yourself.” he said. I looked down with saddened eyes.

“I’m not staying.” I replied lowly cutting him off, and he looked at me with confused eyes. “We were living a dream. It was foolish to think things would work here.” Nathan just shook his head pausing in his walk.

“But you love him.” he said, and I nodded.

“But I am a distraction to him.” I replied.

“Did he say that?” Nathan asked offended, and I shook my head.

“No. It is a known truth.” I replied, and Nathan just nodded slowly looking down as if trying to search for what to say next.

“Alright.” he said, and I was glad there was no arguments from either Ujio or Nathan. “The snow has melted, and the paths are clear. We leave for Tokyo tomorrow. Katsumoto has requested a meeting with the emperor.” So soon? I was indeed taken back by his words, and I looked down.

“The emperor.” I said lightly thinking about the very first time I saw him. He seemed withdrawn not really speaking for himself when addressed about the modernization of his country. He seemed like he was afraid to move on. I shook my head and looked at Nathan.

“It’s what needs to be done… Ujio’s duties are to his lord and my duties were always to be by your side at least until we find a northern state to leave me at if fate brings us that point.” I replied. Nathan and I both knew I was lying, but I was glad he didn’t argue with me. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I just sighed and leaned into his hold.

Later on, that day, I was at the springs bathing in silence. I ran the water over my shoulder gently hissing at the sensitivity of my scars.

“Nathan told me… you were both going to leave soon.” I jumped at the voice as I turned and saw Taka who was also wearing a white robe meant for bathing. I covered myself slightly and just glanced at her.

“Yes.” I replied, and she nodded slightly and moved over beside me. I made room for her. We both just sat on the edge of the spring, and I felt awkward. Taka always tried to keep herself distant from us.

“It is sad.” she said, and I glanced up at her seeing a polite smile on her face. “I had never seen Ujio so happy let alone smiling for no reason when he is moving about the village.” I looked away trying not to hide the sadness growing in my eyes.

“He smiles for no reason, that is not like him.” I asked and we both shared a gentle chuckle.

“Yes. He thinks no one is watching, but we have seen what your being here has done to him. It was fate.” she explained softly. “I am used to Nathan being around and now that he will be leaving, the children will be sad, Nobutada will be sad.” I looked at her with mild closeness.

“And you will be sad?” I asked, and she looked at me with gentle eyes, but just looked away, and I shook my head.

“Things have been different with him here. I used to hate him. Every second he was in my house, I hated him and hoped he didn’t heal from his wounds. But he has taught me forgiveness. And now, I only desire him to be here.” she said, and I nodded slowly at her explanation. So, Nathan also was leaving some one he cared about behind. I didn’t even think Nathan could be in pain and battling his own inner emotions. I sighed and looked down wishing the day would go by slowly. The sun was slowly going down, and I was just sitting in the back of Ujio’s home merely looking up at the sky. The sky always looked different when we traveled to different areas.

Ujio’s POV

I watched her from afar as she stared up at the sky. Her hair was flowing, gracefully and she seemed so sad. I wanted to console her, but I had to pull myself away a bit longer while I attended a meeting with the other generals. As many men spoke about tomorrow’s ride, I actually forced myself to block out the conversation, something I had never done before.

Tomorrow, Algren and Grace would be leaving forever. She would be gone forever. But I knew this was for the best. I promised my life and sword to Lord Katsumoto, and she knew that. Which is why I knewI had to let her go even if it meant my heart dying. I couldn’t protect them both no matter how hard I tried. If something were to have happened to her last night, I could never forgive myself.

She has already engraved herself into my soul and it was clear to all who saw that.

“Dismissed.” I heard my lord say. I almost jumped, but I got up and began to move from the room, my only desire to comfort Grace one last time.

“Ujio.” I heard my lord call, and I stopped and turned to him bowing before standing at attention.

“My lord?” I asked watching as he sipped some tea in silence. He looked up at me with understanding eyes and smiled.

“I can tell in your eyes; your heart is hurting.” he replied slowly, and I tensed some and shook my head once.

“No, Lord, I am alright.” I lied, and he tilted his head his eyes showing disbelief.

“Since when does my most honored warrior lie to me?” he asked, and I winced knowing I had been caught and I bowed my head.

“Forgive me, my Lord, for such weakness.” I said, and he nodded slowly standing up.

“Feeling emotions does not make you weak.” he said moving over to me. “I know what tomorrow means for all of us.” I nodded once, and he looked out the nearest window that showed the village.

“There will be war.” I replied, and he nodded slowly and collectively.

“I want everyone to be as safe as possible.” he explained, and I nodded. Grace would not have been safe here. If a battle persisted and I was killed, she’d be all alone in a whole new world even with the help of the other villagers. I couldn’t do that to her. “You know I knew you had feelings for the African, before you even knew.”

My head snapped up at him in confusion, and he just gave a knowing smile.

“How?” I asked, and he just laughed.

“The day we came upon them both. You had observed her more than you observed the American. I could see the curiosity in your eyes- the fascination. That’s why I wanted you to be in charge of her.” he explained.

My lord is quite a matchmaker, I thought sarcastically, but I nodded in reply.

“If we are able to end this madness and return, then she will be allowed to return with us if she desires.” he said. I nodded once more, inwardly happy.

“Thank you, my Lord.” I said lightly. He nodded and I bowed down to my toes before he dismissed me.

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 23

Ugh. Featured above is what I believe to be the most frustrating decision Radiant Dawn made. Astrid had so much potential! She's from a noble family, but left to become a knight so that she could escape an arranged marriage! (Likely inspired by seeing her elder sisters enter into unhappy marriages.) She's timid, but determined to become stronger. She starts out weak, but grows fast, due to her special skill. The fact that she becomes demoted to Makalov's devoted groupie is so disappointing.

I mean, in comparison to her original betrothed, Makalov is a vast improvement. But that's more of a comment on Lekain than Makalov.

And here we have the most baffling decision Radiant Dawn has made. I don't hate it, I'm just... confused. Why did Devdan change his name? Why is he pretending to be a different person? Did he actually lose his memory or is this a bit? Or is it a poorly designed scheme to keep himself out of trouble?

I don't know. I do wish Devdan/Danved had more story importance. He seems like a cool character. I especially liked his base conversation with Ike in PoR. If only we could have had more of that.

Crimean Royal Knight Fifth Platoon Captain Kieran hath returned!!! I am so happy to see this absolute buffoon. He just reads as so fruity to me. I can't wait to pair him with Oscar again. Those two were monsters in my PoR playthrough. And with Oscar's avoid bonus, they were nearly untouchable, too.

Man, this map took me so long. I went into it thinking that it would be easy. After all, most of the enemy units are fairly weak. Surely my units won't have any issue staying alive.

Oh, how wrong I was. The amount of times Marcia got sniped by an crossbow, or Geoffrey got crit by a sniper... I didn't keep count, but trust me, it was a lot. And it didn't help that the enemy and ally turns took so long, so redoing this map was a trial of patience.

At long last, however, I managed to pull through.

This part of the game is so heartbreaking. The fact that Ludveck actually sent Elincia Lucia's hair... like, that's serial killer behavior right there. And while I do think Lucia looks better with short hair, I would have much preferred it if she didn't have it chopped off against her will by the world's most evil Southern gentleman. That's a massive violation of Lucia's bodily autonomy, meant to humiliate and degrade her, and I'm again sad we don't get to murder Ludveck for this.

I've always wondered what all the people gathered here think. Are they predominantly on Elincia's side, or Ludveck's? I hope it's the former. I know Elincia isn't enjoying much popularity from the nobles, but I hope she at least has a devoted following among the common folk.

And how I pray to remove your head from your body, Ludveck. God, he's so creepy. Why are all the male villains in RD so creepy? They all have such terrible incel energy.

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

I SAID THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

Gosh, this isn't my favorite cutscene in the game (that happens in part 3), but man this one is SO HYPE. My own complaint is that Soren is the only one who doesn't seem to have a voice actor assigned to him, aside from maybe Rhys. Even Gatrie does a little grunt at one point. But Soren is a main character! At least hire someone to do some quiet chanting in the old language. They did that for Micaiah in the first cutscene.

Oh, well. I'm too happy to complain any further. I'm just relieved to finally get the Greil Mercs back. Part 3 is probably my favorite part of the game, though part 4 is also a lot of fun. It has some of the best cutscenes in the game imo. I cannot wait to see Ranulf animated. His smooth voice and subtle little ear twitches... ah, I'm in love!

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 5

Probably I should wait to do this but lbr I'm not watching that episode again lol. I am far too invested in Sand to watch it. Yep, I have become that person and while I actually enjoy all these characters I would see them all burn (metaphorically please no people roasts in this show) if it meant that Sand would get out mostly unscathed.

Alas, this is not shaping up to be that show. I said I will defend Sand's wrongs and that includes sticking around a dude who is not going to give him what he wants but damn, I do wish he loved himself more.

But let's get to it.

(Quick disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions and do not necessarily reflect an accurate interpretation of these characters or the show itself. In case that wasn't glaringly obvious)

Characters (From Most to Least Fave atm)

Sand. Oh my darling dumbass. I feel like he thought that Ray could be a bright shining thing in his life and now he's been smacked with cold hard reality courtesy of Boston. He thinks he's building his walls up but unfortunately I've seen the trailer so I know he's not, he's just papering them over and telling himself that's good enough (you need stronger materials hon). He compared Ray to a dog this ep but honestly he is starting to remind me of one, and not in the good way. That said, he is my ride or die for better or worse and so while I hate this for him eventually kicked dogs do stop coming back so I will wait for that day (well, they either stop coming back or they turn on the person kicking them).

I get now what First meant when he said that Sand has to deal with his feelings on his own. I mean I already got it but we're seeing it put in to practice here. Because Ray doesn't owe Sand anything, he's never made promises, Sand got ahead of himself and now he's gotta deal with reality on his own. Them's the breaks. And I think we all know the best thing for him would be to take a couple steps back until he can move past this thing (and I don't even think it would take that long tbh - Sand's got too much on his plate to be indulging in pesky feelings like this and if he was out of Ray's orbit I don't actually think it would be difficult for him to remember that. He just gets swept up because Ray is kind of a whirlwind and he makes it easy to forget that real life exists. But it does, and Sand's real life is a lot different from Ray's and involves a lot more pragmatism and compartmentalization).

Aside from that, I was so happy to get a Sand episode my goodness. I cheered aloud when I heard him start to narrate lol. And I do think that both the debt collectors and his dad are gonna come up again - I can't help but assume one of our main cast shares that father. My gut feeling is Top but I've seen around that it could be Boston because politician daddy and if so I would be here for it. I would also be highkey amused if it's Ray but I do not think the show will go there. Mew is another good possibility but as I am still hoping that the show will let them make out at some point and I doubt that will happen if they are blood related I am choosing to believe that's not the case.

I do like that the show is doing the work with him. Am I frustrated that I already know he's gonna keep letting this thing with Ray go on until it destroys him? Yes. But I also see where it's coming from. If Sand starts to really see what's going on with Ray re: alcohol, I think he'll slip into caretaker mode and feel he *can't* walk away, and he feels that way because he's already taking care of his mom, paying off her debts and working nonstop so that he can do that while also going to school. His life has set him up to be weak to someone like Ray, it's not entirely on him being stupid, and at least I have that as a consolation for when he inevitably makes me want to shake some sense into his beautiful dumb head.

Lastly, the way he yelled at Boston and Nick to go to Nick's room (and the fact that they *did*! And Boston's "oh shit" face. Even the sullen little eyeroll while he did as told was funny - Sand effectively reduced him to a kid again and he knew it) cracked me up. Reminded me of Mew telling Ray to lie in bed and think of what he did last episode. My SandMew feelings are intensifying I need those two to meet and maybe hook up okay show thank you (I know they won't hook up but I can dream).

Boston. Yes, Boston. My guy really out here doing the most to cause drama again and I still love him for it. This time there is no real goal except destruction and Boston being all caught up in his feelings about Top and Mew and I'm that Lady Gaga meme. You keep on doing the most darling because you are really the only reason any shit is getting done, even if the shit that is getting done is breaking everything in sight.

And also, it has to be said, he wasn't wrong about anything he said. I mean, he was awful about how he revealed things and the way he escalated the situation was absolutely bananas but he wasn't wrong.

I still see him and Ray as very similar. In this ep they both decided to love the one they're with (figure of speech don't get excited I see no love there my guys) since they can't be with the ones they want, with varying degrees of success. Until Boston decided to piss in the sandbox, that is.

Ray. I feel like this might come as a shock since I clearly don't like him much and because I love Sand to the point that I just want him out of the way of all these dumbasses, but. I also can't stress enough that Ray hasn't done anything wrong. I don't love how he keeps pushing his way past every boundary that Sand tries to put down but Sand is also very much showing him every place to push to make him give in. And yes Ray is definitely intentionally using Sand to try to move on from Mew but well, as far as he knows this is all just fun anyway. no pressure and no commitment. And right up until the end of this episode Sand was deliberately letting him think that (yes I love him but I don't think I've quite reached the point where I'm not seeing how he's contributing to his own misery. He's doing it both by not walking away and by letting Ray think he doesn't give a shit. You can't be surprised when the guy you've told to his face doesn't mean much to you assumes that that's the case).

Plus he's been up front about how he sees Sand. I want to be mad at him for it because I hate seeing Sand cry, but Ray has been very clear at every given opportunity that he does not see Sand as a possible romantic partner. He will fuck him, he will follow him around and beg for his attention, but he will not date him. Yeah, his nervous denials in front of Boston stung because Sand let himself think that wasn't the case (and because in hindsight he has to realize that Ray was so adamant because he was afraid Boston would relay this back to Mew - that was an instinctive, kneejerk no don't tell my lover I'm cheating response and Sand has to have realized that with some time to think. And what's worse, it's not the first time he's reacted that way), but he's never said otherwise. If Sand can't handle it it's on him to take the steps necessary to make it not a problem.

And now that I've said all that I reserve the right to be furious when Ray continues to use Sand knowing that he is in deeper than Ray himself is. Because while his feelings are not Ray's responsibility, deliberately toying with someone you KNOW wants more from you is shitty.

Since he was all tangled up in Sand's stuff this ep there's not much else to say about him really.

Well, yes. There is one thing. I am surer than ever he is going to get behind the wheel drunk and he's going to hurt some- no. He's going to hurt Sand. Because you don't have these two together bringing up dangerous driving this much and have it not come back to hurt everyone later. Mark my words, the First Kanaphan character in a hospital bed universe is getting a new member (if the morgue doesn't collect him first I wish I were joking I hate myself). Also the way his face flickered lightning fast from gut punched before he wiped it off when Sand said he didn't trust Ray with his life was excellent, kudos to Khaotung for that one.

Top. Look at this man getting exactly what he wants this ep. He was more fun on the whole last episode reading everyone to filth but he's still reaping the benefits of it and I can't really say I hate that for him. Also I can't really get enough of his unimpressed reaction to Boston doing literally anything. Boston could be out here doing the best of works and Top would just be like "loser" and I respect that.

Things are gonna go to shit for him very fast so I hope he enjoys his moment of winning.

Mew. MEW what are you DOING. I can't tell if his whole "oh wow we just saw a bunch of guys who want Top but Top was focused only on me" thing was in his own head or if Top deliberately took him 'round to all his hookups so that Mew can see how much he's changed, but either way, no my dude. Stop.

I keep thinking to what he told Top in the first episode. If I sleep with you, I'm going to be so obsessed. And I think we're gonna see that happening next ep.

But frankly he's mostly here because of that preview. You're really going to get Lasik surgery for this dude? MEW I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHERE'S MY TYRA GIF.

Nick. Pretty much the same as above. Nick, do not start trying to tone up and wearing Dad Chic to try to get Boston to love you. Top barely pulls the golf dad look off, you are much better as you are. The hell my dude. I was literally so annoyed by this the entire episode that I had a hard time paying attention to his scenes. So I guess I will have to watch those again. You also made your roommate send your fuck buddy to your room like a naughty child like Nick if you can't actually handle it when Boston does this shit you are not on the level I thought you were. Seriously disappointed in you (but not that disappointed because as I said, Sand sending them both to Nick's room was peak hilarity for me).

Relationships (Fave to Least Fave atm)

Sand and Nick. They are lovely, and I still have hope that they make out a little once things go really pear shaped. I just like every interaction they have, honestly and I'd be happy to see more.

Boston and Mew. These two fucking fascinate me. There is so much animosity there, and only Boston's is mostly up front. They both have so much disdain for the way the other chooses to live their life. and it just feels so deeply personal that I figure that there has to be a fuckton of projection going down on both sides.

And now I'm gonna step outside the characters and say that it makes perfect sense to me that this war is breaking open over a dude that now they've both slept with, especially when you think about their differing attitudes towards sex and how derisive they both are of the opposite view. Of course this thing with Top is now a competition for both of them - whoever Top chooses to be with in the end will be the one who was right, after all.

And this is why I suspect that even after he finds out about Top and Boston, Mew won't leave. Because he's gotta win at all costs, even if he doesn't even really like the person he's with (although I still think he'll sleep with Ray for real at some point, that doesn't necessarily mean he'll let go of Top).

TopMew. I dunno, I actually thought they were sweet this ep. It's all gonna go to hell in a handbasket because Toto can't stop biting (yes this a Wizard of Oz reference and yes Boston is Toto) but I do genuinely enjoy them onscreen. *shrugs* I don't know maybe I'm just weird. Also I'm really looking forward to this implosion and the sweeter they are now the worse it'll be later. Mess, mess, mess!

And someone else pointed this out but it is interesting that all of Mew and Top's dates have elements of hiding/obfuscating (someone let me know who so I can link it, it was good). In the first one they are literally hunting each other, the second they can't hear (but I do think it's relevant that they choose to listen to the same song. Or well. Mew does), and in the third they can't see each other. And my own thought to add to that is that in every last one Mew is the one who gives himself away or changes or shifts.

But remember that in laser tag Mew was the one who shot. He might be blinded now but he's getting Lasik next ep (still hate that for him and if I don't joke about it this will just turn into a rant about not changing anything about yourself for a dude so).

I am wondering though if Top is going to tell Mew about what happened with Boston after the confrontation on Mew's birthday. Because he has to know that Mew is edging closer to the truth here, and Ray isn't just gonna give up because Mew hits him once (oh it'll set him back and as I said, probably send him haring after Sand to play the blame game, but Ray ain't giving up, both I think from genuine concern and because he will (maybe rightly) assume this will leave Mew vulnerable enough he'll consider Ray an option (to be clear, I don't think that this bit will be something he is consciously aware of or plans it just feels right to me)).

I still think that Mew has clocked enough weird interactions that he suspects something is up with Boston, and that is why he called him this ep. And I further think that he laid his nerves on so thick deliberately. I just don't think that him calling Boston to toy with him negates having actual feelings for Top. I think both can be true.

BostonNick. They had me in a chokehold last ep but as I said I'm not a fan of NIck Single White Femaling Top to be more appealing to Boston. Number one, Top's fashion sucks. Number two, Top's fashion sucks.

I wanted Nick to be more unhinged than this. I am disappointed that he's not.

That said, on a scale of "I can see it" to "dear god get it away from me", I still ship it more than

SandRay. Well they weren't kidding when they said that this is gonna be the angsty, dramatic one. I do still have hope that their angst isn't all about Ray being in love with Mew though. What can I say, I'm like Sand in a lot of ways, including my stupid, unsinkable hope that the clear writing on the wall will change if I just give it enough time.

I just feel like there are more interesting, far more relationship breaking ways to go with them. Like sure, Ray's in love with Mew, he's gonna wreck shit for that specific reason. But he's also kind of a dick about Sand's entire existence? Like he just can't stop being a spoiled rotten little rich boy for two seconds, can he? Don't think I missed all of his little digs about literally every step of the "let's spend a day living how Sand lives" experience. Because I did not.

I was also genuinely surprised that Ray asked about Sand's dreams, mostly because he's shown less than zero interest in Sand as a person unless it'll get him into his bed (or his hand down his pants). I mean I was happy he did because I wanted to know, but it seemed out of left field for me.

Ray's problems with alcohol would be an interesting direction to take things. Because that's another huge issue, and one I think Sand has only just cottoned on to (oh not that Ray drinks too much - he clocked that way back - but just how very very bad it actually is). Is he gonna stick his nose in? I feel like he might.

What does give me hope that at least some of this is planned is that we are getting the Mew Problem so early. That it will continue to be one I have no doubt - I've said it before and I'll say it again, Ray will let go of that crush only if someone pries him away from it finger by finger - but surely that can't be it, not when we're getting so many other ways that these two don't work?

I also think that Sand's tendency to turtle is going to cause problems, although I understand him far more than Ray (in case it wasn't obvious). Personally the reason he frustrates me so much is I wouldn't just turtle away from any of it, I'd reel back so hard and so far that you'd never find me again, haha. So Sand's continued return to the same things that hurt him frustrates me beyond belief.

I think he should have just asked his questions. I get why he didn't, why he retreated into "you don't owe me anything and I have no right to ask" rather than hear it directly from Ray that all Boston said was true. Of course he doesn't need to hear it, Ray's reaction was enough, but also it might have done them both good to have Ray say it. I said it already, but in some ways Sand is doing this to himself, and not just by sticking around when everyone knows he should not.

I also wonder how much his ex trauma is playing into his withdrawal here. Because when Nick was saying that he feels like nothing compared to Top, Sand's response was "I know how that feels" (probably not an exact quote, but you get it). He's already played this game before and lost. I can see why he might try to just take himself out of it the second time around.

That said, the way I need that ex to show up real time and not just in flashbacks is insane. I need them to show up and I need for all those feelings Sand's clearly just shoved down to come bubbling back up and make everything worse. Please let the ex show up at the worst possible time. Please please please I'm begging. 🙏🙏🙏

I wonder how long this attempt to keep boundaries with Ray is going to last. Not long, is my guess.

In Conclusion

All these bitches are messy, some in a more fun way for me personally than others.

Yo is the best character in this entire show and I will hear no arguments.

And where are the lesbians?

[lowlevelkoboldadventures]

Some Quick Kobold Philosophy/MOTIVATION:

I am, undeniably, weak at a lot of things. I run into a LOT of stuff that I wish I could do, but I just don’t have what it takes to do them! But, I never let that stop me, because there is ALWAYS something I *can* do!

It’s easy to get stuck on something you can’t do (yet) but really badly wish you could! My current example is: “I wish I was a super amazing artist who could actually make the things I see in my head!” And that’s not something I can do!

But, even for the weakest kobold out there, there is *ALWAYS* something you can do!!! Just because this activity you want to run is too high leveled doesn’t mean you can’t play the game! Sitting there outside the activity’s start location isn’t going to make it any more possible either, right?

So, start with doing things you *can* do! For me, that means doing these low resolution doodles with no color and such. It’s not where I wish I was, but the doodles I put out are better than nothing! But also, doing low leveled activities that you’re actually able to do will often times make you STRONGER!!! If you do things you are able to for long enough, maybe one day you’ll find yourself doing that activity that was once too tough for you!!!

It’s ok to not be super buff yet! Embrace what you are now and keep moving forwards, and every step you take will be one closer than you were before! 💞💖💪💖💞

[aiyumi64]

you ever skip into that mood? that one where nothing seems real anymore, where you don't know where you're going, don't feel like you should go anywhere. that the weight of moving forward seems so insurmountable, so unimaginably unconquerable that you can't even comprehend it, aren't even willing to try, wishing that you could instead just, exist. forever in this state of now. in this serene void of reality between the no-longer of the past and not-yet of the future, letting the waves of this sort of, "now-ness" wash over you, sweeping away the burdens of the past, and the anticipated weights the future holds before you, ready to unmercifully thrust upon your shoulders. this temptation, this wish, to just exist here, forever, between the wholeness of life, and drift away, without a care, without a worry or responsibility. to just exist, and while not content with merely existing, no longer be averse to it.

not a void, then, but an oasis, perhaps?

nay; for its pools overflow with not water, but poison. so sweet and alluring, smelling of the sweetest of honeys and shining with the brilliance of the stars, it beckons; promising easy days free of the burdens of living, of the pain of existing in such this way, it attempts to pull you in deeper. deeper, deeper, 'til its surface can scarce be seen any longer. one may not notice it, for oh how sweet it begins, being free of all that once made your body ache so, and your mind cloud with worry and hate. but soon it becomes sour. once a place so freeing and calm becomes a prison. an endless cycle of mundanity and monotony that try as you might cannot seem to be climbed out of. day in, day out, attempting to tear and claw your way back to the surface, only to end, exhausted, before you could truly begin... cursing yourself for being so weak. for being so foolish as to be stuck here at all. for being so unlucky to exist as you are; calling yourself "coward" and other such unfitting things, when you reject with a passion the notion merely hiding it away again, denying your very existence in favor of escape from this place, and "fitting in" once more. at least you wouldn't be stuck here, anymore. merely existing, for the sake of existing. with no purpose, no passion, no self... no, I suppose that one is not true, such a steong sense of self is why I am here in the first place.

I'm afraid that yes, despite my efforts, I am still stuck here, the surface now so tantalizingly, and terrifyingly, close. but to breach that barrier, to extend that hand and finally break free, seems almost impossible a task. the weight of existence feels so heavy, the way I've imagined it. what if I find myself unable to lift it at all? worse yet, to hurt myself further while trying to do so? is it really so bad, to exist so close to the outside, from in here? where its so safe, and familiar, and unchanging?

yes, I suppose. and yet still I cannot break free. fear winning over in this endless indecisiveness, this weighing of options and outcomes that exist only in this troubled mind, keeping me here, so close but yet oh so far. the reality of my awareness of the entire thing, and my place in it, and my ability to change it but inability to act on it a point of frustration that lends only to drag it on further...

I know that one day I will leave this place, and finally be free of these mental shackles, this dangerous thought of existence for existing and a life of no meaning and no change, constructed only to avoid some anticipated pain or failure. but how do we know such things will even come? and even so, are not pain and failure part of what it means to be human? the conduits through which we learn, and grow and change, and become stronger?

Yes. soon I will be free again, a new _____. and though it still scares me now, and may do even then, even so I want to continue on. to claw for myself even a small place, out there, that is not but a compromise or coping mechanism. a place of true existence, of purposeful life.

of happiness