#i wish he had a name so bad
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#he might be my favorite design actually. he was fun#i wish he had a name so bad#no mcyt can escape the unrealistic scarring… not if i have anything to say about it#parkour civilization#emf#evbo’s master friend#my art#also everyone leaving asks I will answer them trust. i just wanted to get this out of the way first
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I beg people in the MW to think very carefully when they talk about mental illness and physical disability cause it’s not as straight forward and easy to diagnose/depict as you think…
#it’s less I hate the analysis more so the way people talk about these real mental disorders in really demonizing ways#like there aren’t people who leads normal lives#and are well adjusted with these disorders like only people like them can do shit Jimmy does and it’s in a really fear mongering way like#please be careful with how you handle those subject matter not every bad character needs a reason why some people are just like Jimmy no#no clear diagnosis or if ur gonna pick something you don’t need to be on the apd spectrum to be narcissistic it’s just like I wish people#would understand that like people like him just exist he would not be diagnosed as either in like a clinical setting cause it’s more than#just hitting the boxes plus like it’s stated that Jimmy still choice to do what he was doing#like a big thing with sort of violent apd personalities is they don’t show any regret or remorse at all for these actions and he does it’s#born from self preservation but to this extent to classify he’d have to still not feel anything like it’s just a touchy thing and we are#bordering on the same fear mongering people had about schizophrenia or bpd#like I just feel like he def has something but it’s not named or define for a reason like he practically fits everything and it’s likely i#intentional so you can give him that excuse but it’s likely he’s just like that like some people are cruel with no sort of neurosis like hes#def delusional but sociopaths and psychopaths tend to have a better grip on reality than he does#did and more factors point to himself than anything going on in his head#this is just the psych in me but pls be super careful with how you discuss mental illnesses cause it’s still his choice to do the things he#mouthwashing
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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#literally no feeling worse than getting a text from a a guy you know from your job and it being like#“hey this is [insert name] i hope you don't mind me texting you i got your number from work” 💀#like okay.#it's happened to me twice now and it's never with bad intentions#(and i mean i work at a convenience store so all the employee's numbers are posted in a open spot for calling-out purposes.#even though i. really wish they weren't.)#but like idk it never doesn't feel invasive#like sure you can use that number if you need me for work but if you wanna use it to be friends -#- i really feel like you should just wait until i actually give it to you? or at least ask me for it?#and like the first time it happened i don't hold it against the guy bc he was like 17 and social stuff like that isn't always apparent#and it was are last shift together and he didn't get the chance to ask me#but this dude who did it tonight is like 40 and at that point i'm like. c'mon man.#he didn't even introduce himself he just texted me carrying on a conversation we had today at work#now you've put me in a situation where i have to find a way to tell you i'm not comfortable with that -#- without sounding like a bitch or making you feel embarrassed#idk. maybe i'm being unreasonable? antisocial? unfriendly?#but i'm also a 24 year old woman and so i do have to think about Boundaries more then the boys/men i work with do :/#whatever. i do actually want to have more irl friends (like desperately 😅) but i do have boundaries and it's hard to be friends w/ someone-#- who just steamrolls over them without patience :/#anyway.#marie speaks
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In my COHF Alec era 🤪🤪🤪🤪
#alec lightwood#alec is my spirit animal fr fr#long story short i asked my crush out and he rejected me#but we decided to stay friends#it's his birthday tomorrow#I'm staying up late to wish him at midnight#AND giving him a present tomorrow#which in my defense i had ordered last year but it came two days late and by then#he fell into some bad circumstances and it wasn’t the right time for gift giving so i held on to it#ironically enough my crush's name also starts with an M#don't mind me ramblings
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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You know that thing you mighta done when you were little where you write your full name ontop of your crushes full name and count how many coinciding letters you have and that somehow corresponded with how compatible you were??...
I mighta done... that thing... with F/O's... XD
And I recommend it! Because it's fun XD
#i also did it with the good day foe it thugs cuz we got full names for them.#apparently my most perfect matgh is wayne with a staggering 15 coinciding letters XD#(we both have a lotta a's and n's. and he also has the w from my last name that i struggle to find in any other matches XD )#then in second place is callahan which is nice- he has 11. (it was the a's and the n's again)#then Norman with 10.#Dale and Jim with 6 each.#aaand the least compatiblr for me is apparently otis and cruella who both got 5 XD#welp. i guess i gotta marry the creepy breeding kink grandpa. wish me well-#also fun fact! my name was gonna be aaron if i was born male. so i woulda had even more compatability with cal and norman. 😮💨#too bad i guess XD#F/O#F/O's#F/O x Reader#F/O x S/I
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I am cursed to forever only be obsessed with the fat characters in games Kodaka ends up involved in specifically
#imposterchat#i will never be free i am cursed to be in this realm forever#Im not even hyperfixed in tribe nine or anything. only eiji#and he is basically in the same universe as Imposter in my mind#so. there is no hope for me#eijiteru would be cute as well. eiji imposter teru ot3 when#also tribe nine is hard. why is it so hard#the controls feel so foreign its like if zenless zone zero had slow combat#i really wish you could go into some sort of training zine#zone#where you could fully view a characters animations and poses#but the enemies want u dead so bad you never really get a chance to look#so far the characters i like other than eiji#are tsuki and the green haired guy and that purple ceo guy + Oi#i only remember her name because its like. oi. like the thing you say when getting others attention#i dont remember any of their names EEEK#a lot of the dialogue feels like its things being said at me. a little hard to take in#and god the battles draaaaaag its like pokemon#where you do a story beat and in betwen its just endless fighting#the 2.5 graphics really dont......help that much. it just feels. slow#like you have to build up momentum while running? good lurd. its iust a pain
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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for the most part I actually don’t see Harry and Draco as being the get married types or at least not the have a wedding types but it’s also fun to just. Have them do it anyway. Weddings are fun and fun to write and read about!
#I wrote a wedding fic once and I kept getting stuck because#I find it rlly hard to imagine Harry having a wedding and not eloping#I feel like he would find getting married in front of his friends to be like tooo embarrassing for words#In my wedding fic they actually have already eloped#Before the fic begins#And Draco tells Harry that he wants to do something beautiful about it and Harry is like okay bet 🩷#I am probably projecting a bit because before I got married I thought it was weird that the convention is to do it in front of everyone#It still does seem like the P-est of pda#Or perhaps the D-est#I cannot vibe with Harry changing his name (in whole or in part) to Malfoy#I feel like Draco barely wants to be a Malfoy himself like it stands for something rotten#I mean I can ALSO see Draco being like well by hook or by crook I’m going to right this ship#And make the name Malfoy one to be proud of 💅🏻#That makes a lot of sense too#It just doesn’t tend to be my personal Draco ya feel?#I also cannot vibe with Draco being on super chummy terms with his parents#I almost always kill Lucius off#Once I had them both disown him#Sometimes it’s just Narcissa who disowns him bc Lucius is dead#Once I had Draco run away from home after a frightening confrontation with his mother#Once I killed off Narcissa and had Lucius in Azkaban (I don’t like that bc Azkaban shouldn’t exist!!!)#In my wedding fic the story is actually about like. Making your family#So Draco has been semi estranged from his mother and is trying to re-establish friendly contact#So he tells her he got married and she’s pretty pissed he didn’t tell her because it’s embarrassing to be left out of his life#Listen sometimes your parents love you enough to risk their lives for you#But still don’t love you enough to accept you for who you are#Those things are not mutually exclusive and I wish we saw more nuance around their relationship#Maybe I should write a fic where Lucius is alive and Draco is trying to be on friendly terms with him#But I think Draco’s bad feelings about Lucius would have started before the war and be grounded in broader things#Just like how Harry’s trauma starts before the war
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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I was tagged by @tevinterspirit , @sstrawbearies and @yacchannanamin to post 6 (5 originally but I'm cheating a little since I got tagged by 3 people) of my all time favorite characters. Vote for your faves (bonus if you tell me who)!!
Tagging @aroacehanzawa @bixiaoshi and @verlaines-ex and anyone else who wants to do it
#“night did you put the guy from the classic french novel the stranger on here?” yes bc im obsessed with him. meursault isnt even a character#to me he's my next door neighbor. ive read the stranger more times than any other book#and then naturally i had to put yjh on here i literally named my blog after him#yukina has such a special place in my heart bc i could relate to her story in so many ways and her design is so good and i love her#character. i wish so bad she got more screentime#celty is also so special to me. i can relate to her so much too and her design and her character and her story arc and!! everything about#her i love her. celty was also the first character i ever cosplayed as#god the essays i could write about chuuya's character and his development. i love him so much. he and i also are the same height#night speaks/a voice from the shadows#tag games#polls
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trying to tell other ppl about OCs is so hard and embarrassing, like yeah here's my automaton guy that I've been calling Empty Mask, yeah I nearly cried over the thought of him collecting broken porcelain dolls the other day, yeah he sounds kind of stupid but he's actually kind of a tragic character if u get to know his story,,,,,,
#I JUST FEEL SO STUPID TRYING TO EXPLAIN CHARACTERS TO PPL 😭😭#they always think empty mask is a weird silly name and it IS weird and kind of stupid fjfkdl#but its like. the cracked exterior shell of an automata and he's missing stuff behind the face shell.... THERES MEANING TO IT 😭😭#also its technically a placeholder name until he figures one out for himself once he finds a proper identity for himself...#BUT THE SAME THING WITH WARDELL#''yeah this is my guy who turns into a dog. um. the fae cursed him sort of and now he works for them? but he doesn't want to.#and he's... yeah u know what lets talk abt smth else actually'' DHDJDKL BLEASE i wish i was better at it#actually i could be better at it but i dont want to put effort into telling ppl stories if they dont care#and i cant tell if they care or not so i just give them a half-hearted explanation to judge their interest#and then ofc bc i do such a bad job then they aren't rly interested fhfkdl#but i AM a good storyteller if i actually put effort and heart into it 😭 I've been told many times how engaging i am w storytelling irl#i just. get scared to put effort into it LMAO esp when these stories Mean smth to me#i can tell someone abt when i had to try to cross paths w a black bear easy peasy bc thats just a thing that happened#but it doesnt Mean anything to me beyond it just being somewhat interesting#my characters though .... aaougghhh#dandy.cmd#vent //
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#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today#i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny#like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you#so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME#and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine#because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors#which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart#my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined#even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives#anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said#early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture#which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire#....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do#like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything#all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma#and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names#my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german#i just want to know idk#but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative#i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl#and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either#although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago#i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this#on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left#my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them#but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever#but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era#his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything#my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else
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Before the day's out, thanks for indulging me in this. I will inevitably do it again... repeatedly
Anyway, give it up for Shinobi Shaw: a morally and intellectually vapid, fashion forward, naturist, cringefail bisexual darling.
A victim of terrible, and bigoted writing and often even worse art. But he was fandom bait before such a thing existed, and maybe he'll get his moment at some point.
Pour one out for him... or several... he'd have several
#i do wish he had a real first name so bad lol#and his blue hair back#anyway#gonna go watch tdp i think
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