#i wish everyone would have this mentality

[estranhossonhos]

It's obviously not a requirement I look for, whenever I meet someone (friends, bf/gf, doesn't matter - I mean people I want to keep around and nourish a relationship with); but I would love to have a significant other with this kind of mindset. That cooks with joy, plans every mealtime with ease, and feeds on other people's reactions to their food. In fact, whenever I get invited to eat at someone's house, and they complain that the food didn't turn up how they envisioned, or state that «it's nothing fancy» - oh, you have no idea how moments like this warm my body, heart and soul. And I wish I was writing all of this out of nostalgia, with that magical, slow-motion like remembrance about everyone gathered around a table, enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, ... but for me, it goes beyond that.

tw: mental health + unhealthy eating patterns

I try not to feel ashamed by confessing this, but I can't help but notice how people look at me weird. It's such an automated/basic thing everyone does, and I can't do it? «What do you mean? You need food to live, yet you can't cook nor do the groceries? ». Not quite, but I do need a whole day to do it, and a few days in advance to get myself ready for this mundane task. You see, my brain shuts off whenever I look at what's inside my fridge or pantry - if there's even anything in there to begin. I simply cannot put combine ingredients like you do (and it's not due to lack of knowledge). And whenever I can, it will most likely become my go-to meal for the next few weeks. It's a logistical nightmare to even consider going out to the supermarket. Yes, I could order online - but that's another task on itself. 80% of the times this gets me so overstimulated that, I've ended up (discreetly, I hope) crying in public, on a few occasions.

Don't worry, it's not an everyday occurrence. And for better or for worse, I am too self-conscious and pragmatic for this bad habit to take over. But whenever my neurodivergent brain is going through the slumps (you know: those occasional rough patches that resurface every once in a while, sprinkled with anxiety and depression), I prefer to stay in bed, disassociate and lose track of time, with an empty stomach. Even though I merely switched that moment with another filled with more guilt and shame towards myself. And yes, that also includes going out to eat. That's why I (while trying to play it cool) usually choose what somebody else ordered, or what the waiter recommended. This way nobody suspects anything is wrong with me, right?

Now, if this all seems childish and overly dramatic, congratulations: you are a typical functioning human-being. Believe me when I say this: I feel the same way you do, whenever I hear myself complaining about this «first world problem». But unfortunately, this drains the little energy we have to navigate our daily lives as neurodivergent individuals in a neurotypical world. Especially for those with a very tight monthly budget, who live alone or share a place with people they are not close with. Just like you, I used to find unnecessary and environmentally unfriendly all of those pre-packed, peeled and/or frozen meals, veggies and fruits. Nowadays I am thankful whenever I find them, since they quite literally have saved my life multiple times. Chemicals? Not healthy? Never heard of them. I need fuel to get out of bed and to not rot away. And if that fuel is a frozen lasagne with a weird ingredient list, so be it. I promise I'll compensate in a near future, when I am mentally and physically out of the slump, and I feel capable of asking for help (if needed) or to mask myself again as a typical functioning human-being 💪 So, next time you catch yourself complaining about those «unhealthy and ready to eat meals» or any other «unnacessary invention» that promises to make someone's life easier: take a deep breath, question everything but always try to do it out of pure curiosity. This way you're always reach the correct answer, be apart of less judgemental world, with more acessibility, compassion and solidarity towards one another.

Cooking for you is my love language.

[phneltwrites]

I wish you would write a fic where…

….Jan-Olof decides he has had enough of Erik and Wilhelm's antics, escapades and scandals. He retires. His successor is a young man called Simon Eriksson. The moment Wilhelm lays eyes on Simon for the first time, he trips over his own feet and falls (in love). Simon, however, isn’t impressed with the two princes. They make his job difficult. He can’t decide who’s worse. Pretty quickly Wilhelm is also annoyed because while he can’t stop staring at Simon, Simon is exactly like J-O was: professional, conservative and boring (but also cheeky/rude when it’s just the two of them). They have lots of stupid arguments but there’s also loads of unresolved sexual tension between them. Meanwhile Kristina watches everything from the sidelines and facepalms mentally.

💜

I was trying to think about this one and rotating it and I'm not so good at talking so here's like the short fic version of what I'd do! The angle I basically took here is about how anxiety from the outside often looks like rudeness and being judgmental.

Everyone knows this is a bad job. It’s why it’s the one for the most junior member of staff. Simon’s often caused himself to question his life choices and the series of misfortunes that have led to him firstly working for the Swedish monarchy—a thing he ideologically opposes—and as a wrangler for Prince Wilhelm. His literal, full-time job is to make sure the Prince is where he’s supposed to be, upright, and in clothes. On day one he’s informed they need someone for this because it is extremely difficult.

The prince is unreliable, they said. He’s used to being catered to and he doesn’t consider how to make any one else’s job run smoothly. Don’t expect any consideration. He won’t practice his speeches and will act unprofessionally if you follow-up on his preparedness. Just put things in front of him and hope for the best.

Simon doesn’t love the idea of being personal servant for a manbaby who is emotionally volatile in the workplace.

At first he thought it might not be so bad. Wilhelm introduced himself carefully, with a handshake and direct eye contact, dead serious like it wasn’t ridiculous on the face of it. He slid Simon snacks under the table at their first interminable briefing meeting.

“I didn’t think it would go this long,” Simon muttered as thanks.

“When you see the line ‘review precedence’ it means we have to list everyone who is going and what order they’ll walk in,” he whispers back with a grimace. “I always bring snacks when I see that.”

Simon files the note away and when he says as much to Wilhelm, Wilhelm rewards him with a real smile. His entire face brightens and when he does it reminds Simon that Wilhelm is his age.

All of that optimism dies the moment they have their first event where Simon is in charge of wrangling, without anyone else guiding him. And he can’t find Wilhelm. Why did he think that Wilhelm would make an exception to his unreliability for Simon?

He runs around, dashing from room to room, as if a six-foot suit bedecked man might be overlooked in a corner like a stray pair of headphones.

The patter of rain on the window draws Simon’s attention by chance and then it’s his second heart attack. Wilhelm is out there. Soaking.

Simon dashes out and immediately feels the rain seep down the back of his neck. It’s raining hard enough that it pushes at his curls, wetness worming its way in.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Simon feels hysterical. He grabs Wilhelm’s wrist. It feels like ice. He drags and Wilhelm follows him, feet stumbling. Simon closes the door behind them and starts to fret. Wilhelm’s hair is wet. His suit is wet. His tie is ruined. He got a whole onboarding document on the caretaking rules for silk ties. Exposing them to rainwater is not best practice. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Meanwhile, Wilhelm’s hair drips onto the parquet floor. He isn’t saying anything. He’s supposed to be giving a speech to this anti-drunk driving charity in ten minutes and if Simon sends him out like that, he’ll get demoted in such a way that they’ll make his life miserable enough until he quits. He thought Wilhelm respected him a little but he’s just standing there, staring at nothing, looking bored. Offering no solutions, no explanations. Least he could do is apologise. He’s not even looking at Simon, instead peering at the detailing on the baseboards. Now is not the time to develop an interest in design.

Simon is going to get fired. And Wilhelm doesn’t even care. Simon supposes he has ultimate job security and doesn’t know what insecurity would feel like.

“Look at the state of you,” Simon scolds. “How could you do this? Is this hazing? My first time so you want to fuck with me?” Simon brushes at Wilhelm’s hair, helplessly. The front pieces have slid onto his forehead. “I get that this is nothing for you, but this is my job. I need this.” He takes Wilhelm’s tie. He pops the top button open. Maybe it looks intentional. “You get everything handed to you. I’m here to make sure you have your tissues and your shoes are shined and all your whims are taken care of. And all you have to do is show up and hand out some ribbons, shake a few hands. Would it kill you to take it seriously? Or at least, if you aren’t, would you try not to waste my time? Your extremely royal highness? If that isn’t too hard for you.” Wilhelm is just like the rest of them. Every rich kid at University who complained that the professors weren’t nice enough to them, or who whined that they were broke because they spent all their money on drinks and movie tickets and for the first time had to consider a budget. People to whom it had never occurred to them that they’d have to be careful about anything in their life. That they’d have to think ahead or go without.

“Yeah,” Wilhelm says absently. Simon stops talking. He glares at Wilhelm. “That’s right. Isn’t it?” The question sounds like it’s of no matter to him. Simon wants to shake him.

Wilhelm does it first, shaking his head, water flying. He wipes his hair with his hand, slicking it back as much as he can. Then he steps out.

Simon doesn’t watch the speech. He’s not allowed in the room anyway. His precedence is too low.

Later, he sits around with the staff, Friday night out to celebrate the week and starts to complain. Everyone laughs in that nostalgic way that Simon has never mastered.

“You didn’t bring an extra suit?” Margot asks. “Someone didn’t train you right. For his Highness you always have to bring a full change.”

“And his headphones,” Andreas jumps in. “If he starts looking like he’s going to bolt, those can keep him in place for a bit.”

“At least if he runs he usually comes back,” Karl says. It seems that everyone has a Wilhelm story. “It’s the hiding that’s more difficult.” Karl is one of the older members of the team. He leans over to Wilhelm. “His Highness knows all of the nooks and crannies in the palace. Every built-in cupboard and weird space under some stairs. You’ll get to know them too.”

The longer this goes on, the less funny it gets. Everyone had told Simon how difficult Wilhelm is, how spoiled, and he’d seen Wilhelm’s behaviour today as careless. But this is so consistent.

Then Margot hammers the final nail. “He can’t fit in the worst spots anymore. You’re lucky. Trying to reach in to the top shelf of a wardrobe to get a grip on him while in heels was not what I studied for.”

“How long ago were you managing him?” Simon asks. He feels the shape of the answer already.

She purses her lips. “Ten, fifteen years ago? Don’t worry, it won’t take you that long to get a better portfolio.”

So she was a grown woman and Wilhelm was what, seven?

He stands up. “I have to go.”

***

He goes to Wilhelm’s rooms at the palace. His badge gets him in the building but a guard stops him at the door. “No staff entry to the prince’s private rooms outside of working hours,” she says firmly.

Simon hadn’t thought about that. He didn’t think about that.

He won’t push his way in.

***

Simon grabs Wilhelm’s sleeve at the end of the next briefing. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Simon says.

Wilhelm is staring at his sleeve where Simon has a hold on it. Simon lets go. Wilhelm’s fingers twitch, turning and curling towards Simon’s. He looks up at Simon and blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“No, that’s what I’m saying.” This conversation is going weirdly.

Wilhelm looks confused. “For what?”

“For snapping,” Simon repeats.

Wilhelm doesn’t look any less confused. “You were doing your job.” He says it, almost questioning. Like why are they still talking about this.

Simon did not think he could feel worse, but Wilhelm’s total lack of understanding why anyone should give him any consideration makes him want to claw at his shirt collar.

Then Wilhelm is called away.

***

At the next function, which is a rose garden tea thing that Simon can’t pretend to understand, Simon finds Wilhelm sitting on a bench next to a trellis.

“Hi,” Simon says.

Wilhelm takes a big inhale, shoulders rising up and in. “Am I out of time?”

Simon thinks about it. Thinks about Wilhelm forcing himself out there. Then he says, “Want to get out of here?”

Wilhelm laughs. Then he takes a second look at Simon’s face. “Oh.”

Simon puts out his hand. Eyes darting between his hand and Simon’s face, Wilhelm takes it. Simon tugs and Wilhelm comes easily.

When they go, they don’t look back.

[wangxianficrecs]

trying to get a moot interested in a new fandom to read wangxian fics! lol but overwhelmed for choice! what would be the top hmmm ten fics you'd recommend as a wangxian sampler pack for someone new to mdzs???

Tough question, because obviously everyone has a different taste! My honest opinion would be recommending actually reading Mo Dao Zu Shi, because it's a great book :D

However, if I had to rec ten stories, I'd probably go for these:

this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 50k, wangxian, modern with magic, dragons, tender wound tending) | Mojo’s Rec

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (@fleurdeliser​) (M, 38k, sick fic, sick a-yuan, hurt/comfort, canon divergence, angst with a happy ending, wen remnants live, wei wuxian lives) | Mojo's Rec

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (@fozmeadows) (T, 15k, wangxian, modern with magic, hurt/comfort, animal transformation) | Kay's Rec

What We Grew in this Forsaken Place by Admiranda (@admirableadmiranda) (T, 27k, wangxian, modern au, modern with magic, shapeshifter lan wangji, isolation, slice of life, secret identity, strangers to lovers) | Kay's Rec

The River Brought You Here by ChilianXianzi (Not Rated, 11k, wangxian, WWX & original female characters, JC & WWX, canon-divergence, pov outsider, amnesia, past abuse, found family, recovery, permanent injury side effects) | Kay's Rec

Concord by Deastar (@youhideastar) (T, 41k, wangxian, arranged marriage, angst with a happy ending, heavy angst, getting to know each other, mental health issues, falling in love, mutual pining) | Kay's Rec

Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (@draechaeli) (T, 66k, wangxian, xuanli, songxiao, everybody lives, canon-divergence, the wens leave the burial mounds and integrate into yiling) | Mojo’s Rec

The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, wangxian, background xiyao, pov LWJ, depression, eventual happy ending, selective mutism, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, a retelling of the events of the novel from the perspective of LWJ) | Mojo's Rec

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, Wangxian, canon divergence, amnesia, memory loss, wei wuxian lives, grief/mourning, happy enidng, getting together, domestic bliss) | Mojo's Rec

Deconstruct by flowercity (FaoriE) (T, 11k, Wangxian, canon divergence, soul mates, angst with a happy ending, getting to know each other, cloud recesses study arc) | Mojo's Rec

~*~

Recs sorted in no particular order! And of course, our dear followers are welcome to add their own recs for someone new in the fandom. I hope your friend finds something they enjoy!

~ Kay

[shiftinghoesblog]

yapping about my drs ❕❕

okay so this was a request from one of my moots to do this so yeah!!

i have no clue where to start but i’ll talk about some of my desired realities that i shift to but probably mainly non group shift ones so personal ones 🫦

INFLUENCER

- this is one of my most recent drs i’ve been scripting and not gonna lie the main reason i’m shifting here is because of my man 🤭 he cosplays gojo... so you probably know as to why but besides the point, i was raised a nepo baby and younger sister to meghan thee stallion. i am a content creator, influencer (duh), fashion designer and i live with my s/o in the upper east side of new york🗽. i scripted that my first shift will be during christmas eve because who wouldn't wanna experience the city that never sleeps during the festive season and with your partner 😩 it’s gonna be the dream. i have a mad crazy friend group but i love them all because we’re so hot, cool and sexy. i did script that megan’s parents are still alive in my dr so let’s not worry about that. 💀 i dreamt about this dr a couple of times actually and about my s/o 😍, a couple of my friends. really looking forward to this dr.

OUTER BANKS

- i think i shifted here like twice or a couple of times but didn't realise it because i did mention to y’all about chilling with kiara and sarah, another time i did find myself surfing like literally just living the life through the waves and my ass thought it was a dream. looking back i doubt it was, in many instances to be honest. in this dr i am the sister to kiara and my s/o is pope 😌 i grew up a kook but i transitioned to a pogue when i joined the others. i’m the reason behind kiara and sarah making up and i’m close with rafe since kiara and sarah were best friends and probably would have sleepovers together. i scripted that cleo’s lesbian lmao 😭 you know why. i wiped the plot out a little and also made everyone graduate already so that school is out of the way when hunting for the gold.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

yep, i have an atla dr yay! in this dr i’m the oldest sister to kiara and sokka. i’m a waterbending master and my s/o’s zuko??? enemies to lovers kinda vibe. definitely part of the gaang and i’m shifting here because atla is part of my childhood. i have the ability to also create ice and other powerful combat skills so i can't wait to experience this universe.

LEGENDS OF KORRA

i also have a lok dr because why not, i’m the little sister to korra the avatar but i’m gonna prove to everyone that i’m also capable to make a difference and i scripted that i can blood bend.. so ain't no one gonna touch me as well still being able to water bend. my s/o is bolin because he’s so underrated for real.

THE ORIGINALS

in this dr, i’m a hybrid so vampire and werewolf and an adopted mikealson. i live in new orleans and my parents are rebekah and marcel even though their not my bio parental figures because they are already dead 💀. also hopefully i can survive when dahlia comes in because i scripted that my first shift will be during season 2 😓 well shit wish me luck y’all. at least i’ll get to see baby hope aw.

FAME

i have a fame dr because i love attention �� my main profession is being an actor and i’m known for my role in the vampire diaries. i also play robin in the one piece live action and act in many more projects, a nepo baby in this dr too because almost all my family members are well-known. my s/o is caleb mclaughlin? he plays lucas in stranger things and our characters in the show dated so that’s how our relationship sparked.

TWILIGHT

i love talking about drs so yeah i have a twilight dr where when i first shift, i’ll be human but i get turned by a villain in order to send the cullens (my friends) a warning like it’s “game on” so i’m gonna have to mentally prepare myself because i’m gonna basically die 😭 lmao. my s/o is jacob because i’m team jacob simple and it’s a slow burn 😀 woop woop.

SOME OTHER DRS

waiting room - i plan on permashifting here, chill, script, feel free, play with my cat, breath fresh air.

better cr - a better version of my cr and my s/o is jiung from p1harmony, i live with jenna ortega, i attend a boarding school in london, i also model.

wednesday - i’m the sister to bianca and my s/o is kent, i’m a siren and psychic medium.

fate: the winx saga - it’s so underrated i see no one shift here but it’s like the winx live action adaption on netflix, the only dr where i didn't script an s/o.

ateez - my s/o is san and i’m the only female and 9th member, main rapper, performer and maknae.

streamer - i go by lemonpie and my s/o is cory kenshin 😚.

victorious - grew up watching it and i’m andre’s sister.

soloist - i’m a k-pop soloist in this dr and my s/o is blackpink jisoo (yes I’m wlw) she’s so 😍😍😍.

singles inferno - this is a dating reality tv show but at the end of it i end up with wonho (ex. monsta x) i’m besties with song jia.

GROUP SHIFTS

not gonna lie they piss me off if they don’t put the damn effort

one piece (anime) - so far my most enjoyable one is the one piece (anime) shared dr because we talk almost everyday. anywho my s/o is sanji ahhh my vinsmoke baby! i’m the little sister to the asl brothers and my devil fruit is similar to aokoiji so ice ect. i am part of the straw hats and joined them during the alabasta arc.

kard - the k-pop co-ed group basically, me and the person barely talk so you see why i prefer my personals drs.. yeah. my s/o is enhypen’s jay 😍 and my positions are sub-rapper, sub-vocalist, producer and maknae. i’m always a maknae in k-pop group drs for some reason 😭.

the legacies - person dipped on me and didn't even fill any of their sections so! i’m poly with hope and josie, i’m a werewolf and witch.

harry potter - i’m the head girl of slytherin and my s/o’s draco, i scripted fred’s death out. also shifting to the half-blood prince era.

teen wolf - i’m a tribrid in this dr so i’m gonna be unstoppable!

the vampire diaries - a bennett witch, cousin to bonnie.

one piece (live action) - i’m a phoenix hybrid in this dr and also part of the straw hats, grew up around shanks.

private romantic - umm this dr ticks me off low-key because the person that i’m group shifting with ghosts me 😝 i didn't script an s/o for a reason i’m just gonna ditch them for jonathan daviss 💀💀💀 like imagine fumbling manon (I'm shifting as manon from katseye in this dr) i don’t want that person as my s/o anymore and like we’re “friends” here, miss me with that shit.

my hero academia - the group shift is dead bro no one is fucking talking in the group chat, one of them quit shifting, the other i was pfp matching with changed their damn pfp without telling me. script ain't finished too, they all called it a day. and y'all wonder why i don't wanna join no group shift no more.

this was lengthy but y’all asked to yap about my drs other than jujutsu kaisen which you already know about that dr and spill some tea so i did exactly that, i hope you enjoyed and this better not flop, i spent hours typing this 🥳.

@angelic-daiquiri

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

-cracks knuckles- Oh boy I guess I've been summoned.

So tldr: you're all right. Sorta. Nuance and all that.

To explain, it is really important to avoid strenuous exercise for at least 10 days after covid (emphasis on "at least". "Even some athletes need longer", according to Dr. Van Iterson), AND the early weeks of your initial infection:

"“Belonging to the more severe multisystem cluster was associated with more severe functional impact, lower income, younger age, being female, worse baseline health, and inadequate rest in the first two weeks of the illness, with no major differences in the cluster patterns when restricting analysis to the lab-confirmed subgroup.“ Ziauddeen et al.

(Here's a Time article from 2022 discussing the importance of rest during acute covid-19 as well. And another)

All this means is don't do anything that makes your heart rate go up. For some people, that might be most activities, in which case bed rest might be the right decision. For others, that might just be avoiding traditional exercise for awhile and bed rest would be an overkill. Covid is a very individual disease, and what you'll notice repeated in most of these links is you need to listen to your body.

It's also important to sleep as well as possible in the acute phase. There's some evidence that people who had good sleep habits prior to infection had better outcomes avoiding long covid.

Before going further, I would also like to point out that if we read OOP's post a little more closely, they're doing this strict routine because they already have long covid. They're kinda lamenting about how they wish they WERE that strict during their acute phase to avoid what they have to do now. I think it's more them trying to warn others to take things seriously and not end up like them, albeit in an extreme way. What they say about how you're not really resting if you're scrolling or watching TV is also true!

Notice how none of these sources are saying to do this kind of rest perpetually, though.

As everyone else is saying, doing absolutely nothing in the dark with no sound or light for long periods of time will cause a vast amount of mental health issues, as well as physical issues like muscle atrophy. Because Long Covid and ME/CFS have significant overlap, the most current recommendation is to do something called "Pacing". Click the link for the full explanation, but in summary, you break up your usual day into much smaller chunks with periods of rest in-between, based on YOUR individual needs and energy levels. It's also decided in collaboration with your doctor's recommendations.

(Some more info about pacing here)

Again, I think OOP had their heart in the right place. People with long covid are suffering. OOP is probably going through some of the worst times of their lives. They're probably very scared, and scared people tend to talk in extremes. I don't think it's very nice or necessary to say their crazy or need to go on medication when they're just stuck in a reality I hope none of us ever have to share. Long Covid is russian roulette with every new infection. There's no indication yet of how it's gonna hit you, and some very unfortunate people DO need this complete isolation to recover. It doesn't change that it's still torture. It doesn't change that it's still horrible and harmful. But they have no other choice.

The only guaranteed way to avoid it is to not catch covid in the first place, and with most people abandoning even the vaccines, that's an impossible task for a lot of folks. I at least can understand OOP's urgency because of this.

But yes, to conclude, doing full-blown sensory isolation for long periods of time for every acute covid case would be overkill at best and harmful at worse.

You do need to do it in short bursts for best results, though.

i know this person means well but this is absolutely insane.

[respectthepetty]

Hi, I read your post about Joong/Est & Dunk beef and I wanted to give you more information as I felt like you were missing some-- and bc I got to know them just 2 months and followed them on twitter and the things have been really insane? wild? and I just need to share.

So after Joong posted the tweet about him & Dunk not being on good terms right now, New(!) posted a reply to it "Is this okay?" (I assume he means is it okay to post such a thing?"). And after that Joong's tweet, I saw many fans who were unaware things have been weird btn JD finding out the two weren't getting along well. I'm not against actors sharing their feelings, but it really felt like a bad PR to me that hurts their branding. I was honestly wondering why GMMTV does not give their artists PR training when Joong suddenly posted a selfie of him & Dunk smiling with moustache filter and Dunk also posted a pic with him & Joong & P'tha who is CEO of GMMTV. AND Joong also deleted his tweet about the beef.

Now my unconfirmed theory is that after Joong posted that tweet, things got a bit out of hand and reached the ears of P'Tha and he made them sort of make up or at least ordered them to act more like usual, and for Joong to delete the tweet. In the event they had the next day, they were doing some fanservice too. It was very jarring to see the whole thing unfold tbh, especially Joong's emotional subtweets and retweets of shady quotes that lasted for weeks made me a little worried if he is mentally okay. I'm not sure JD are even on good terms right now (I don't think they are) - I don't know about Joong but Dunk seems to be trying to reach out like wishing him safe flight... but I sure do hope they can keep their working friendship or recover from whatever they are going through right now bc it would be really sad to see it end.

For Est/Joong, there seems to no visible movement for that side as far as I know except for both of their fans fighting each other like twice a week. They got into fight again today bc Joong doesn't even acknowledge or promote ThamePo even though he guest starred in it. The fan communities have been so toxic and weird and I just honestly feel so bad for the actors.

Anon, I turned off reblogs to this post except for the people mentioned within it because I just learned I could (look at this old dog learning new tricks!) and I hope this encourages you to come back to my inbox, anonymously, and offer more discussion without it getting muddled with others' thoughts.

Because I have a question.

But first I want to solidify one key point - I am invested in whatever happened between Joong and Est and, by extension, Joong and everyone else including Dunk. I just want to make that clear, so you don't think I'm trying to claim some level of emotional superiority with my following question because I'm not. I'm interested in everything you wrote because I'm nosy for no good reason, so I want to know what happened and all the details simply because I want to, and I want to make that clear before I continue.

Now, my question:

Why do you perceive Joong's behavior for the past few months as mentally unstable?

It was very jarring to see the whole thing unfold tbh, especially Joong's emotional subtweets and retweets of shady quotes that lasted for weeks made me a little worried if he is mentally okay.

You are not the first to write this. I have seen this sentiment in various spaces raised here with @waitmyturtles and @simysaru43, and on Reddit, so based on your comment, why do you think his behavior equates to him not being mentally okay? Regardless if he is or isn't, I want to know why YOU think that? And please know that I am genuinely asking anyone who has expressed this thought because I truly want to know others' perspective since I think his behavior is a suitable response to what is happening, whatever it might be (which, once again, I want to know what *that* is because I am soooo very nosy).

Joong is no longer friends (friendly?) with Est, yet they work at the same company; therefore, they must be around each other in a professional capacity. He doesn't seem to be friends (friendly?) with Daou anymore either. Yet Dunk, his work partner, hung out with them outside of work, so why can't he be bothered by that? People have stated it seems immature that he would dictate someone else's behavior, but I think we are underestimating the demands of their jobs and the unstated obligations they must abide by within their working relationships. Joong is an actor in a genre that is known for its (toxic) fans, so I am also surprised that GMMTV doesn't have a stronger grasp on any of its actors' social media presences, but Joong is also human, so having emotions, even public ones, is part of that.

So is the worrisome part of his posts that they focus on his emotions? Does it worry you that his posts are rooted in him publicly revealing his feelings? I'm not in the practice of defending men or their behavior, but I don't like the implication that a man feeling is cause for concern. That's why I'm asking why you are worried about him because I don't want to assume this is where you are coming from. I'm not asking for you to defend yourself or your comments because this is not a battle. I'm kindly asking for your perspective because my background (Mexican, Black, American) tells me this is messy behavior from a man, but my ideologies (feminist, anarchist, lover) tell me to be proud that he is allowing himself to display his feelings on a public forum.

But I might be missing something, culturally, generationally, or a third item I haven't thought about. Which is why I'm asking why his behavior is unsettling to you? I truly hope you respond, and if you want, I won't share your response.

Either way, let's discuss this further.

[thefirstknife]

I wasn't aware of the discussions around Eramis being that rancid, personally (although I tend not to look at online discussion around media in general, thanks to how skin-deep at best much of it tends to be).

But the way you've talked about it makes me wonder how much of the people complaining about Eramis's character development are coming at it from a dislike of the idea of that redemption being a thing at all- the perspective that Doing Bad Things makes someone A Bad Person who can no longer be A Good Person, essentially. Seems like that mentality has grown... if not more common, at least louder, over time.

(Although your comment about not seeing why they'd 'pull a shocking twist for the sake of pulling a shocking twist to spite the audience' is a little funny in a sad way, considering how many people seem to think "outwit the audience and surprise them" is more important than "tell a coherent story as well as possible", even changing things if a twist is leaked, even if whatever they change it to makes no damn sense.)

It's really bad out there and it's strange for the exact reason you listed, because the same communities have previously entertained redemption ideas about characters like Calus and even Clovis; characters who have never expressed any wish to change or any beliefs that they may be in the wrong, no regrets and no remorse for what they've done.

So I can't even figure out if this with Eramis is about not wanting redemption stories. I think it's more about Eramis herself; not only is she a female character, but she's very largely and easily misunderstood. A lot of people's interaction with Beyond Light was... not entirely invested (a lot of the community was at the time mad about vaulting and hated everything new on principle), and her other storylines are in seasonal content that's gone now and that was almost universally hated; she was brought back in Plunder and then reappeared briefly in Defiance. A lot of people approached her from the get-go as "just some villain we will kill in the campaign" and then that didn't happen and these people were confused because they never paid any attention to her story. And then by the end of it, it just kinda slipped them by.

I don't know honestly. I may be overthinking it, but I definitely think that a lack of understanding of her story plays a huge role. Whether that's because they missed her story or just didn't pay attention to it or just had no interest in it - and nobody online they interact with offered any insight into her character (lore youtube) - they just don't get what's the fuss and they don't care about her. Some might say this is because the game didn't make people want to care, but I simply disagree. While I enjoy Eliksni stories, they're by far not at the top of my list of favourite things in Destiny so I don't have any special attachment to Eliksni characters, I didn't know Eramis before BL and I was never a diehard fan of her, but I understood her story and what they wanted to do with her for the past 4 years.

And I was happy that she got her character arc completed as was intended. I saw where it was going and this solution is the only one that made sense to me. So I don't think the whole "the game didn't make me care enough because it was badly set up" really holds water. The game can't put thoughts into your brain, sometimes you have to actually think about characters for yourself. Like, we shouldn't have to be spoon-fed that hard. Her arc and the setup was clear and it was written into the game's story, a lot of it even outside of lore books ("It was just in the lore books!" is a major complaint a lot of the time, and one I personally find baffling. You're in the Lore Books The Game. If you don't like lore being in lore books, you're in the wrong place).

We could honestly discuss this to no end, and everyone who dislikes Eramis or the conclusion to her story would probably have a different reason for it, or there would at least be a couple of them, not wanting redemption included. Could also be a combination - not understanding her story will lead a lot of people to think that her being redeemed makes no sense and that it wasn't supposed to happen.

I think it's also a case of people having a really hard time understanding that a character can be our ally while still hating our guts. I've seen plenty of comments from people saying they're annoyed about Eramis constantly being antagonistic towards us. This is baffling to me, because again, it makes sense that she doesn't like us. And it would be bizarre if all Eliksni were now suddenly fans of humanity like a hivemind. Some will never like us. This is good. They will still help us because there's bigger fish to fry, but they don't have to like us.

Eramis was a delight this episode to me and she was a really interesting character. She wasn't a huge deal overall and some of her story was fairly on the sidelines, but she was a very unique "villain" and antagonist to us since she was introduced and I think that her character arc was very well done all things considered. This amount of resistance and dislike for her from the wider community is something I simply can't see as anything other than a lack of understanding of the story (personal reasons and stuff like "I get it, I just don't really care that much" not included).

[ofdarknesseyes]

Yeah he didn’t know Megumi not completely. Sure he can still get a read on him like when he was little, that could just be fatherly instincts that never actually go away no matter how hard he tries. But he isn’t naive, it has been years since he spent any time with his son. He wasn’t the one to raise Megumi. Megumi wasn’t like him, he gave a shit about others. He isn’t sure if that is a good thing or not. On one hand, yeah great, his son wasn’t a piece of shit like him. On the other, it only meant it was more likely for Megumi to get hurt. Both mentally and physically or worse…

He leans against the door frame waiting for Megumi to be ready. Sighing at his words. He gets it. Gojo was much more his father than he ever would be. He doesn’t blame Megumi for caring about the man that was there for him. Who actually raised him, trained him, provided for him, and protected him. As much as he didn’t want to care it did make him feel something. Remorseful? Regretful? Almost as if he wished he stuck around. No use thinking like that though.

“I get it. I owe that brat too anyways.” He grumbles the last part to himself looking almost annoyed. Cursing under his breath even.

Megumi’s next words, his concern for him, shock him to the core. He shouldn’t be shocked, not really, not with the way Megumi has clearly shown to care for others, but still, it shocks him and makes him feel other things he isn’t used to. Those feelings are drowned out by the guilt that he doesn’t deserve anything from Megumi, not even his pity. Also, the way Megumi says his name… He doesn’t expect to be called dad or father or anything like that but even just hearing Megumi say his name did something to him… He buries that feeling deep inside for now.

His eyes are wide only for the briefest of moments before he chuckles softly and shakes his head. He ruffles Megumi’s hair before his hand caresses his face gently, lowering his voice slightly.

“I am supposed to be dead anyways, kid. Don’t sweat it. I’ll be fine.”

His green eyes set on Megumi his expression almost saying: You won’t lose me. Even though he can’t make any promises.

Toji reassures him anyway. And what was he supposed to do just let Megumi waltz out there on his own? He almost groans at himself when he realizes that his feelings and his actions are becoming very father-like. It was too damn late to be a dad he tries to tell himself. Whatever, he always did whatever he wanted didn’t he? The least Toji could do was admit to himself he wanted to do this. He wanted to be by Megumi’s side for as long as he could this time. Fuck it! He had nothing more to lose now. Everyone thought he was dead and if trouble does come for him he will ditch Megumi before it gets too dangerous.

For now, it seems like Megumi was the one in deep shit with all that is going on. He owes him after not killing him like he should have and he owes him after the beating he gave him. However, it makes him realize this kid of his still needs more training. What the hell has Gojo been teaching him anyway? More like codling him probably…

“If we are gonna get going let's go then. I want food on the way though.”

Toji almost demands as if he were the child here and is being dragged along on a trip with his dad.

Megumi knew very little about his dad as if that much wasn't obvious already. The pull he felt was a connection since birth and a wanting, but that didn't mean he KNEW his father. The man could have been an animal abuser and a wanted criminal. Would Megumi's issues and love erase all of that? Toji took revenge for the murder of his mother, but was he the kind of man who fought and stood up for what was right? Megumi was. Part of him felt he had to, another part of him, a greater part of him, believed that was what his life was meant for.

Toji wasn't a sorcerer though. Likely he wasn't raised with those convictions, but he was making a lot of assumptions. All he had was assumptions and a creative mind. Thankfully his father wasn't just sitting by even though he certainly seemed to favor it. Once his father began changing out of his clothes, Megumi looked away and then waited before he's standing right in front of the man. Megumi had to tilt his head back to match those green eyes. So very much the same as they were different. Toji's eyes looked almost haunted.

“ I know I don't, but I still have to for me and for... ”

The man who replaced you. it went unsaid. Megumi's green eyes flickered with sadness, then determination.

“ This is what I've been training for most of my life. I'm willing to sacrifice myself if I have to but I don't want to lose... you. ”

Feeling vulnerable the boy dropped his head until his spiky hairs masked his eyes.

“ I know you're strong but I don't want to drag you into this and get you killed... Toji. ”

[tranceinnumerabletabs]

When Johnny Comes Back pt12

Howdy hey everyone! I'm back at it agaaainn. Also, MADE IT TO 1,000 LIKES!!! WOOOOHOOOO! Thank you all SO MUCH! I never thought I'd end up like this so fast! I'm truly at a loss for how long I should make these.

tags: @supermegabitchboyexceptimagirl, and @beelzebee

part1, part11

-------------------------------------------------

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You gasp on the couch as Soap is texting someone important nearby, it seemed slow, as if they haven't responded yet.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You look at each other

“I…..I think that’s him”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The knocking was loud, incessant and insistent . A little louder and it would be followed by ‘FBI FBI OPEN UP!’

“Don’t worry bout’ nothin’ hen. I got you. Always will”

His tone showed no hint of his usual teasing playfulness, but this time, you felt safer because of it.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Aye! Aye! I’m coming!” He calls out and gets up. You get up to come with him. “Stay back hen. I got this”

“No. It’s me they’re looking for.”

“I’ll take care o’ it okay?” He insists He opens the door while you listen nearby. “How can I help you gentlemen”

Lo and behold there’s two men in professional clothing standing there. The one with the mustache looks at him like he expected him to be here and the taller one looked almost surprised to see him. Mustache man clears his throat “hello sir. I’m with the government. We wish to ask some questions about recent activities in the area. No need to be alarmed. We just wish to speak with the residents. This is just a courtesy visit. May I come in?” He says in the police version of a costumer service voice except that in this profession they can actually punch you instead of fantasizing about it.

“It’s just routine” the taller one grunts Soap laughed humorlessly “courtesy visit now eh? Would ye like some tea and biscuits then?” He jabs, clearly unafraid nor the least bit intimidated. He shook his head “show me your ID and I’ll consider it” They exchange glances, their faux friendly mask slipping away. “Agent Ross and Agent Milton” they show their IDs. Soap takes mental notes of them.

“Right….I’m not in the habit of letting strangers in the house”

“It’s just a minor follow up about inquiries made online” Soap knows what they’re talking about

“Hmm….let me ask you a question” he leans against the doorframe “didja know I’d be here?”

Ross seems calm “heard you were back” Soap huffs a humorless laugh “heard? From what? A little birdie? C’mon now. Cannae fool me.”

A silence befalls them before Soap straightens up a bit “listen…I ken what yer comin for. And I’m tellin ye now: clear her name. She’s innocent. I’ll tell her tae stop and send any suspicious activity tae my team. I’ll take it from here folks.” He says professionally

Milton, the more….insistent one clears his throat “sir…are you aware of her…ability to evade our intervention?”

Soap thinks for a while “explain”

“She’s been…..avoiding us” Ross starts

“Aye. I would too” he jabs “poor lass is scared out of her mind” Ross scoffs

“She seems to be very good at changes routes….changing grocery stores...sleeping in hotels..” Ross continues

Ah shit right……

“Ah…lass learned it from me. Nothin’ toad worry about”

They seem unconvinced

Now Milton starts talking “I managed to talk to her in a bar.”

Oh that’s why he was there….You thought he was hitting on you…you’re listening close by.

Soap directs his attention to Milton “Asked if her boyfriend told her anything about his job. She said yes”

“What did she say?”

“you blew people up”

“Aye. That’s part of the job”

“Did you tell her anything else?”

“I’m not an amateur”

They exchange looks, deciding their Ned course of actions “look…” Ross starts “it’ll just be a few questions”

He sighs “aye, aye. I ken my rights gentlemen” he thinks for a moment “I’ll have a word wit her.”

“That’ll be gre-“

SLAM

Soap closed the door with more force than necessary but not too much to be considered hostile, just enough to be rude.

“Bonny?”

You peak out the corner, nervous. Soap seems to soften at the sight. He walks up to you and wraps an arm around your waist

“lassie…would ye be fine wi-“

“I know Johnny. They want to come inside”

“Ye don’t have tae let them in” he reassures

“No….its fine…” you mumble

“Are you sure lass?”

You nod “as long as you’re there…..and I have a feeling it’s even more suspicious if I don’t face them.”

“You’ll be alright love. Trust me” you rest your head on him, liking this side of him. He rubs your head and you back off.

“I’ll be on the couch”

He opens the door he oh so rudely closed, sighs and steps aside “come in lads.”

I should probably mention that he’s still shirtless…..yeah he’s been that way since he woke up. And he has no problem with this. He doesn’t respect these guys. Plus it’s intimidating and hot.

You’re on the couch as they walk in and they can’t help but notice how domestic the scene looks. Soap shirtless, you wearing someone that clearly belongs to him while holding his son in your arms as he purrs. You keep your eyes on said son and Soap takes his seat next to you like a good boy. The men sit down on the other couch. Milton takes a professional tone “thank you for agreeing to speak with us. We’re just here to have a chat”

You kept your head down on Simon, who was now death staring them.

Ross clears his throat “just a few questions ma’am and we’ll be out of your way”

“Okay…” you mumble lowly

“They’re just here to intimidate you hen. They won’t do a damn thing” Soap whispers into your ear.

“We’d like to ask about your online behavior recently” Milton says “you’ve been snooping around official government business”

You’re silent

“How much do you know?” Ross asks

“Not much” you mumble, scratching Simon’s chin

“Hmm. Did you….share anything you found with others”

You did

You look towards Soap for answers. He nods as if to say ‘tell the truth’

“I have” you brave a look towards that men

“To who?”

“My friend”

“Who is she”

You go silent

“We won’t bother them” Milton ‘assures’

“I don’t want any trouble her way.”

“There won’t be. What did you tell her”

“Just…..some nonsense from conspiracy blogs”

“Did you send her anything”

“No”

“Good. We’d just like to confirm with her then”

You shuffle closer to Soap

“She means no harm. She was just worried about me” he gently guided your face to his chest “lads, if there’s anything alarmin’, I’ll send it to Captain Price.” He says as if it’s a huge name drop. It seems to have the desired effect but they’re not done yet. “Jus’ a curious civilian gentlemen. You can stop watching her, I’ll do it” Soap assures

“Do you understand that your activity may be suspicious?” Ross asks you

“Yes sir”

“Could you tell us your friend’s name?”

You shake your head “no. She’s done nothing wrong. All I told her is that I looked into Johnny’s job after I heard he got shot”

“Did she help with any research?”

A little? She looked stuff up with you and discussed your findings but a lot of your research was alone.

“Not really. It was me who was curious.”

They seem to take note of your answers.

“Did you contact anyone who….tried to, perhaps offered access to classified information? Perhaps for a monetary benefit?”

shit

You look pleadingly at Soap for help, he presses your face into his chest more and answers for you “if there is. I’ll make sure to properly handle it. This is my field and I’ll make sure there won’t be any civilian interference” his tone spoke solider and authority. You’ve long since dismissed the trope of “sergeant” applying to soap true to how he acts around you, but seeing this side of him, how controlled and powerful he is, made you remember who you’re really dealing with. It both intimidated and comforted you. The men seemed to take Soap more seriously every time he asserts his position, but it seems that the men have a job to do and are determined to do it well

“Ma’am?” They look at you, face still smushed into Soap’s strong warm chest “if it’s not too much to ask. What are your thoughts on the military? Are you a supporter or are you interested in games, films and stories that have elements of the military? Anything that may influence you….to take part in anything of the sorts? Particularly Modern Warfare?” Milton seems to be doing the talking now. Soap seemed interested in that answer.

“Um….no? Well yes. But Nothing that would make me do anything illegal.” They look at you as if awaiting a clearer explanation

“I-I mean I’ve watched movies, read stories and played games but that doesn’t mean I’ll act on it” of course you watch military movies! Johnny's right there and he’d never pass up the opportunity to piss on them. You may have played an FPS game or two and read fanfics but that won’t make you drop a bomb on Iraq.

“Do you have any political motivations, affiliations, or ideological leanings that would drive you to seek this information?” Soap doesn’t like that question. You’re not a terrorist! You’re not an extremist! You’re not any of that! You’re his wee Bonny lass that he’d fight the world for! “No. Of course not. She was jus’ worried about me. Gentlemen I think it’s time fer ye tae leave-“

“We understand you’re protective your wife, Sergeant Soap, but we’d like to hear it from her”

Soap shuts it but isn’t happy about it. You decide that you didn’t owe them an answer and didn’t give anything too definitive or personal “I was just….curious” you hide further into Soap

“Why do you ask?” He hums and looks through some notes as if this was standard procedure to spy on someone.

.

.

.

“What?” You question. Soap looks at you curiously “what are you talking about?”

“We…. don’t know everything-”

debatable

“-but apparently you spent a substantial amount of time on certain online communities that aren’t subject to domestic oversight. This was true before and after your peak of sensitive inquiries. This could be a hotspot for foreign influences and misinformation or anti establishment narratives without the presence of government regulations and protections” pfff! Protection? Regulations? They can’t even protect and regulate themselves. And what on earth is he talking about? “-and another site you frequent that has suffered a DDos attack by foreign interests” he reads off. Like what? AO3!? You sit there with a confused look on your face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Maybe if we read out your list of…questionable site names you’ll understand. Ross?”

Ross pulls out a file from his jacket, clears his throat and starts reading off ‘suspicious activities and sites’ in the somehow western accent he shares with Milton.

“Poison Breaker. Affirmative Sir. Operation: Deep Infiltration. Whispers of the Damned.”

Huh…those sound familiar?

“Undercover assets. Trapper Keeper. The Art of Subtlety. Hotline.”

Those….are just titles of sites you’ve visited? You think. You don’t memorize the hundreds of sites you visit.

“Tactical Submission. All That’s Said In Low Light. The Captain’s Private Orders. All the Sins You Never Had the Courage to Commit. Silent Weapons, Soft Target. To Drive a Man to Madness. Covert Rendezvous.”

Soap looks confused, which isn’t a good look right now. ‘What’s all this?’ He seems to say as he looks at you. You look confused as well.

You Don't remember this as being a part of your research

This Wasn't Part Of Your Research

[jiraiconfessions]

you know, i really do hate everyone in this community, and i really mean that. you can sit there and try to act as unstable as you want but in reality most people here are surrounded by loving families and this is just the modern version of the 2015 edgelord emo phase. none of you do fucking anything jirai-like except sit there bitching about shit you could easily fucking fix if you put any effort into doing so.

"i cant make friends" "im so suicidal" "i just wanna cut" i dont fucking care. can you talk about literally anything else? yeah its an unstable subculture thats very true but are you like actually aware that the reason you arent making any jirai friends is because nobody wants to be around people threatening to cut 24/7? its the same in japan, i feel like some of you have this weird notion that jp jirai are all friends with each other and dancing around in lovely circles while being drunk on the streets but in actuality its just like literally any other friend groups where people fight and cry and then never see each other again. except when you fight with a friend in one of those groups theres a chance theyll fucking overdose and die in the streets without ever having a chance to fix it

youre all so fucking weird. all of you, none of you are free from this except for maybe like 2 people in the community. "i want to join the toyoko kids" "i wish there was an american version of the toyoko kids" then go outside and fucking talk to the homeless people around you, they'll hook you up with drugs and alcohol so you can run around the street like a real toyoko kid. oh, wait, but none of you will because the fact of the matter is you dont actually care about the lifestyle itself you just want to be around cute asian girls— you know its fucking true, reposting random photos of random jp jirai from twt with some shitty caption above it, acting like you fucking care. one of the biggest girls who gets posted in those memes is currently going through domestic violence and is posting about it on her twitter, and for a community that "cares" about each other ive seen literally nobody giving her any support or anything. just more shitty reposts of her photos going like "omgggg this is so me >.<" like id fucking hope it isnt you.

by the way none of you freaks wanting to be a toyoko kid could survive it. you scream and cry when theres a pedophile in your dms but if you were a toyoko kid those same people would be dictating how much money you get to spend that month. "ewww there's a pedophile in my dms" omgggg no way?? in the community commonly associated with child prostitutes theres a pedophile trying to talk to you?? who couldve seen that coming

none of you have the right to sit on a high throne and call yourself "real jirais" when the only lifestyle you fuckers engage in is being minorly mentally ill. none of you get to sit there and call people elitists when you actively look down on sex workers and people who can afford higher brands. btw if youd have done literally any research youd know that the style is indeed called "jirai kei" in japan, and not dark girly, but that point has been hammered to death on this blog so whatever.

anyway to the non fetishisers in the community i love u

TL;DR A vast majority of this community consists of people who do not understand the struggles of Japanese landmines. It gets to a point where the complaining can be insufferable, and often misses the mark entirely. There's a huge fetishism issue, and a lot of landmines on here just want to be around Asian girls. Also, it's not called "dark girly," it's called jirai kei.

(Hopefully that covers it effectively.)

Normally I'd just flat out queue things, but I'm going to post this one immediately. Anon, I don't know who the user you're talking about going through DV is, since I'm not active in those spaces, but If you're able to please do send another ask sharing her username. I would like to post anything I can to help her.

Also, I personally would like to thank you for pointing out how people look down on sex workers. I don't usually insert my own opinion but as a former sex worker myself I often feel left behind in this community. Thank you.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

whenever dan and phil say words i remember misha collins coming out as straight and think, maybe if we’re really good, that could be dnp too 🙏

[wishchip106]

i wonder how long it took for charles to get out of his habits and depression after dofp

putting my problems on charles lmao

charles not wanting to change but knowing he needs too because nothing beneficial will come out of staying in his sad little bubble of alcohol and the serum.

i find it kind of unrealistic to just be able to get out of that hole. he would be going through two different types of withdrawal and his ex kinda broke his heart again

the main reason he got out of the house was because logan told him about the future and that his sister was going to be tortured and experimented on

he would also have to get re-used to not using his legs AND telepathy

bro stronger than me damn

i feel like mental health was also definitely not treated the same way it is now compared to the 70s so he pretty much just has hank as a support beam

change is an incredibly difficult thing so i bet it took at least a few years for charles to heal from all those years of drinking and taking too high a dose of the serum and depression. even then he still clearly has some lingering habits as we can see in dark pheonix he resorts to drinking whenever he struggles with something (and this is 20 years after dofp)

this guy crazy forreal

[tariah23]

Are people really that afraid of pirating everything they consume???

[avichor]

at the avatar the last airbender in concert ……. this is definitely not bringing the rot back. haha

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[frogspawned]

constantly reining the urge to ask are you mad at me, are you mad at me? like a broken record. i crave reassurance but it's a poisoned cup, you know? you have trust people to tell you their feelings, and believe them when they do. reasonable people will. but it crawls up out of my throat like vomit and i have to sit there in my sick, a self-fulfilling prophecy. but also like are you mad at me? lol.