#i wish I could be their little girl forever

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ 𝕒 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 ♡

♡ Pairing: boyfriend!jeongin x girlfriend!chubby!fem!reader

♡ Genre: fluff/comfort

♡ Summary: Jeongin's the type of boyfriend who never makes you question how much he cares for you. Still, there's one nagging insecurity you haven't been able to move past: Letting him see you naked. Sick of letting your fear get the best of you, you decide that tonight's the night to finally open up to him and it turns out you might've been afraid of nothing all along.

♡ Word Count: 2.1k-ish

♡ Warnings: body insecurities, nudity, a lil making out, mentions of sex, jeongin loves to touch your body, praise, and just all around fluffiness otherwise

♡ A/N: This started out as an anon request but I lost the post for that request (brb crying) so now we have a lil I.N comfort fic that will hopefully make my chubby Jeongin biased babes feel good in their skin cause you totally deserve to.

Moments like these Jeongin wishes could last forever. Between touring, appearances, and studio sessions his schedule’s been brutal lately, leaving him with little to no time to spend with the one girl he treasures most in the world—you. But tonight none of that matters. The world beyond the walls of his apartment doesn’t exist. There’s only him cozied up under a blanket on the couch with you cuddled against his body, your head resting on his chest as you lazily play with the strings of his hoodie.

The room’s dark except for the glow of the television. A movie’s playing but neither of you are truly watching it. His eyes are glued to you, committing to memory how beautiful you are from this angle. You seem so comfortable in his arms, so at peace, and the feeling’s infinitely mutual. 

Your own gaze is fixed on the screen but every image and sound you take in is passive. What you’re truly focused on is a thought that’s been cycling through your brain all night. Before you left to head over here you told your roommate not to wait up, you’d be spending the night at Jeongin’s place. Never one to pass up the opportunity to tease you, she asked if you needed to borrow a sweater or something to sleep in. You instantly regretted admitting to her over drinks that Jeongin has yet to see you naked, even after months of being together.

Whenever you have sex you keep the lights off and throw your clothes back on immediately after. If you shower and he’s around you always make sure to bring your clothes with you into the bathroom. Even Jeongin, who never wears anything to bed, always has something on when you sleep over to make you more comfortable. 

It’s nothing he’s ever complained about or tried to make you feel guilty for. More than anything he just seems happy to be with you, accepting your boundaries without hesitation. It’s one of a million reasons you’ve come to love him as much as you do. Still, you know that hiding from him isn’t something you can do forever. It isn’t something that you want to do forever.

“Baby” he says sweetly, petting your cheek, “You ready for bed?”

You take a deep breath, making up your mind that tonight’s the night. Your stomach sinks at the thought of how he might feel when he sees your body but at least you’ll know now before you fall for him any harder.

“Mmhmm” you nod, nuzzling your cheek against his chest one last time before sitting up. 

Jeongin hops up and gets to work clearing the snacks from the coffee table. With full hands, he leans down to plant the softest kiss on your lips. “You can go ahead. I’ll meet you in there in a second, okay?” 

You agree and gather the blanket in your arms, trembling as you shuffle down the hall towards the bedroom. It’s a short walk but it feels eternal. You’ve stepped through this threshold a dozen times by now but somehow this feels like your first. Suddenly the oversized hoodie and baggy sweatpants that once shielded your insecurities have you sweating like a sinner in church. It’s suffocating.

Tossing the blanket onto the bed, you tug your hoodie off to feel the fresh air kiss your skin. The coolness eases the tension in your body, leaving your hands a bit less shaky as you slip your sweatpants down and kick them aside. You stare down at your body, taking in the sight of your bare legs and your fluffy thighs that are just barely visible in the long t-shirt you’re wearing.

Your chest tightens as you pinch the bottom of your shirt, lifting the fabric little by little. It slides above your thighs, around the contours of your hips, revealing the panties you chose specifically for tonight. They’re silk, rose pink, with a lace trim and a delicate bow in the back and they’re the prettiest panties Jeongin’s ever seen simply because you’re wearing them. 

“Did I, uh, miss something?” Jeongin asks, frozen in the doorway.

Usually when he walks into the room you’re already under the covers waiting for cuddles he’s beyond eager to give you. Being met with this is something new entirely and he can’t help the way his heart races at the sight of it. You turn to find him staring at you wide eyed, shock painting his face. 

“Well, uh, I…” you stutter, fidgeting with the trim of your shirt, “I know you don’t really like sleeping with your clothes on and the weather’s really nice tonight so I thought, maybe, it’d be nice if we did that.” 

Jeongin closes the distance between you, his shock melting into concern. He brings an arm around your waist, stroking your side as he studies your expression.

“Baby, I already told you I’m cool with our clothes being on. I never want you to do anything you don’t want to.”

You rest your hand on his, soaking in the warmth of his touch. “It’s okay” you insist, immediately picking up on his skepticism. He doesn’t believe you for a second. You stare into his eyes, finding comfort in them even as they narrow in your direction. “I want you to see me, all of me, I don’t wanna be afraid anymore.”

“Afraid? Afraid of what? Did I…”

You cut him off before he can finish, refusing to let him believe for a second that there’s anything he did wrong. “No, Innie, you’re so good to me. It's just…I’m not the smallest girl. Feeling me is one thing but seeing me it’s…it’s…”

Your breath hitches at the sensation of Jeongin’s hands massaging your body. He smooths the plushness of your figure beneath his palms, stopping to squeeze your love handles, your belly, your thighs.

“Seeing you would be a gift” he whispers, his lips hovering near yours. “I’ve felt your body in the dark and I’m already addicted to how beautiful it is. If you take your clothes off or not, nothing will change. I promise.”

There’s no denying the rush that you get from being touched by him. You feel it every time, the impulse to let him tear your clothes off. The longing to feel his gaze dance over your naked body the way his hands do. Typically you fight it, your fears dulling your urges, but tonight you don’t. Instead you sweep him into a kiss laced with passion, guiding his hands to grip the fabric of your shirt. 

“Help me take it off, please” you beg, too cute to deny.

Jeongin nibbles at your bottom lip, “Only if you help me too.”

“Deal” you giggle as he steals your breath away, hungrily pulling you back into the kiss.

Your clothes are shed gently and slowly like the petals of a flower. One after the other, his and then yours. All the while Jeongin’s lips are drawn to yours like magnets. Every break he has to take is a small form of torture. You could kiss him every second of every day and it wouldn’t be enough. He needs to drown in it.

He can only bring himself to stop when he feels skin to skin contact. Your naked body’s pressed to his in the bright lighting of his room. He could see you if he wanted to, glance down and delight in the pleasure of something he’s only experienced in his imagination, but instead he focuses on your gorgeous face, his heart set on making sure this is what you really want.

“Can I look?” he asks, fingertips lightly trailing up and down your spine. 

You pause, pacing yourself for a decision you know you can’t turn back from, “It’s okay. You can look.” 

Time seems to stand still as Jeongin takes a step back and his gaze falls below your shoulders where your naked body awaits in all its vulnerability. His is the smooth, toned body that you already know it to be. You’ve caught glimpses of it here and there when he’s changed in front of you. And yours is beyond what he’d imagined during those long nights spent blindly exploring your form beneath the sheets.

At first he says nothing, does nothing. He only stares straight ahead, scanning you from head to toe. But just as the nervousness threatens to return he cracks a smile, his face lighting up, stars twinkling in his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” He exhales the words as naturally as he breathes. 

You blush, a giggle escaping your lips, “Oh my gosh, stop it.”

“Stop it? How can I? Look at you.” 

Your self doubt wants to tell you that he’s lying—that these words you never imagined you’d hear couldn’t possibly be true—but you can’t deny the way Jeongin’s looking at you or the butterflies swarming your stomach. You try to bring your arms around yourself, a thoughtless attempt at hiding away again, but he grabs your hands, lacing his fingers between yours. 

“I mean it” he whispers, thumbs lightly grazing your skin, “Your body’s gorgeous and I feel lucky that you let me lay eyes on it. Thank you.” 

Your cheeks heat up and you dip your head down, too flustered by his words to maintain eye contact. Jeongin cups your cheek, tilting your head back up. He’s stubborn as always, refusing to let you escape his affection. 

“You think so too, don't you?” he asks, his lips floating back to yours. He almost kisses you, just almost, but lets his lips dance there, teasing you with their warmth. 

“Think what? I don’t…” you begin to speak but the feeling of his hands making contact with your belly steals away what was coming next. You let out the softest breath, bordering on a hushed moan. His touch always sets your soul on fire but this time there’s something different about it. Some new aspect of it that has your head all fuzzy and your knees going weak. 

“Think that I should feel lucky that I get to see you” he says, massaging the plush of your belly, “And grateful that I get to touch you.” 

He glides his palms down to your hips, taking indulgent handfuls of your curves as your body gives into his touch. Your fingertips run up his arm, feeling the ridges of his muscles as they flex with every breath. His body shivers, your quiet praise doing to him exactly what his does to you.

“You can’t say things like that, Innie.” 

“Why can’t I?”

“Because I might start believing it.”

Jeongin flashes you that dimpled smile, “Good. I want you to.” 

His lips collide with yours again and it feels like the whole room’s spinning because it is. He closes his arms around your waist, kissing you lovingly as he twirls you towards the bed. Before you know it your head’s resting on a pillow as your body sinks into the softness of the mattress. You can’t tell if it’s the mattress or the euphoria of Jeongin’s tongue tangled with yours but it’s like you’re floating on a cloud.

Jeongin kisses you like it’s the last time your lips will ever meet. His hands explore your body like they’re terrified to forget even the tiniest detail of what you feel like. The affection he pours into you is overwhelming yet you wouldn’t dare ask him to stop.

He saw you, everything about you, and the only place he ran to was your arms. You feel special, cherished in every way for exactly who you are. All your worries seem like nothing more than silly little things in the presence of his adoration. 

Finally breaking from the kiss, the necessity for air forcing your lips apart, Jeongin curls up beside you, keeping you in his arms as he slips a blanket over your naked bodies. You rest your head on his chest the same way you did on the couch, only now your mind isn’t wandering off somewhere far away. It’s right here with him, basking in the moment. 

“Promise not to hide from me anymore” he sighs, planting the sweetest kiss on your forehead. 

You relax into his arms, smiling as your heavy lids fall shut, “I promise.” 

You thought you’d feel more vulnerable lying beside him with your clothes in a pile on the floor but being like this with him is the safest you’ve ever felt, the most comfortable you’ve ever felt, in your own skin. Hide from him? And miss out on a feeling like this? Never again.

[mage-ical-character-person]

Actually, I really liked the WOTFI overall, it’s only the ending that rubbed me the wrong way.

We got Puzzles and Leggy bonding in the Meme Factory mini-arc and I’m satisfied with the amount of it that was in WOTFI. There’s still time for Meggy’s feelings on the situation to be explored as a sort of epilogue, wouldn’t be the first time.

I liked the battle being musical it suits Puzzles well. And it’s not like it wasn’t tense during the musical number. The bit where Four and Mario saved Meggy when Puzzles tried to slam her into the ground was awesome. I love that Four sucks at fighting until someone he cares about is in danger and the adrenaline kicks in.

I think it’s fun that if everything had gone according to plan and they hadn’t turned Meggy back… Puzzles would’ve just… kept them playing minigames forever. You’ll play fun games with him and LIKE IT!

Ties into the fact that he’s always calling the crew his “friends”. Y’know

Brainwashing people to force them to spend time with him. He tried asking nicely and it didn’t work. This is the closest to friendship he’s gonna get and he’s just resigned himself to that.

And Meggy is genuinely convinced this is what’s best for him. Alas, the traumatized beanie girl has too much trust in the justice system 😔.

Wish we’d gotten to see her be his lawyer and have him plead insanity thinking this would help.

She’s trying to help even if she’s still really mad at Puzzles! I love that for her! I love her going “I know there’s a scared little child inside you” and trying to help him and get through to him but still being mad about what he’s done and having trouble letting that go even when confronting the most vulnerable part of Puzzles! She finds that scared little child with the intent of talking him down and ends up just yelling at him, but she also literally gave him a part of herself with Leggy!

I think that’s part of what’s made me more okay with the ending. I’ve come around to it a liiittle bit. I still don’t like it because implications of insane asylum and Puzzles was already treading a line there of being a sort of “I’m a twisted cycle path and I’m going to Jeff the Kill you while the song Pretty Little Psycho plays” thing. Y’know the trope: mostly benign due to sheer unseriousness but still sorta villainizing poor mental health.

But… Y’know the more I think about it the less it feels like Meggy was intentionally tricking Puzzles or using his vulnerable, lonely inner child against him. And that makes me a little more okay with it all. I still don’t like it. I don’t blame Puzzles for feeling like he’s been “double-crossed”, but I don’t blame Meggy either (not that I did before. Before I saw it as cruel but understandable in universe given the circumstances, now I see it as Meggy is so well-meaning she wants to help everyone so bad but Meggy. Honey. No…)

Meggy’s earnestly trying to help! I just wish Mario had let Puzzles talk for long enough that he and Four could get some idea what’s going on with Puzzles. (LET FOUR SEE HIMSELF IN PUZZLES ALREADY. THE NARRATIVE FOIL OF ALL TIME! GUYS WHO CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT PLEASING AN AUDIENCE AND ARE BAD AT EMPATHY! BELOVED!) Because right now the only one with any idea what he’s going through is so incredibly ill-equipped to help him and frankly shouldn’t have to! also this

She’s so well meaning but bad at it! I think about this line more than I should! Went to helping people school they told her to whack people with golf clubs and she sees no problems with this.

So bad at helping! Mario would literally rather die! I love her!

uuuhhh where’s that post

Also OOOH! I’ll have to keep an eye out for your fanfic.

sooo…

WOTFI

THEY DIDNT ADDRESS ANY OF THE PARALLELS AND THEN THEY

INSTITUTIONALIZED HIM

I’m so mad about this. I’m so mad. I’m so mad.

because okay. Okay remember this.

His super dramatic flinch here and there was that post going around like “I wonder what happened in Mr Puzzles’ childhood to make him flinch like that“

CHILD PUZZLES DOES THE SAME THING

EVERY TIME MEGGY/LEGGY APPROACHES HIM HE FLINCHES. HE COWERS. EVEN OUTSIDE OF THE POTENTIAL CONCLUSION HE WAS BEATEN, SOMEONE GENUINELY CARING ABOUT HIM IS SUCH A FOREIGN CONCEPT THAT HE ASSUMES THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD GET CLOSE IS TO HARM HIM.

AND HE’S NOT EVEN WRONG?! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS?

THEY INSTITUTIONALIZED HIM HE IS TIED TO A TABLE IN A PADDED ROOM. THEY APPEALED TO HIS HUMANITY AND FOUND THE GOOD IN HIM AND THEY USED IT AGAINST HIM.

YOU THINK THATLL HELP HIM? TARGETING THE MOST VULNERABLE PART OF HIMSELF AND GETTING HIM SENT TO AN ASYLUM?

AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE I WAS LEGITIMATELY ENJOYING THE EPISODE BEFORE THAT! I was having fun until that ending. That’s literally the one thing I didn’t like. The scene with Kid Puzzles was really well done. Everybody’s outfits were so cool. IGBP flesh blobs were there that was really cool

but then

I hate this. Genuinely worse than killing him off to me. It just feels wrong

[nadvs]

hard to ignore (two-shot) (part one)

pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader

summary when you’re offered a job as a nanny, you can tell right away that you’ll grow fond of the little girl you’re taking care of. things are easy to manage until you realize you’re falling for her dad.

author’s note hugs to @nemesyaaa for sharing the idea of singledad!zach. i couldn’t stop writing (and the one-shot hit 15k words and became a two-shot… i love slowburn…) hurt and comfort. fluff. no smut. divider credit.

content warning parental abandonment

» masterlist

Zach is sure, without a doubt, that he has already lived the best day of his life.

The moment he held Ella in his arms was when the world bloomed into a color he didn’t know existed. Nothing could ever and would ever top that feeling.

He didn’t expect that before thirty, he’d already experience the worst day of his life, too. But he’s certain he has.

He was in a fog, a bad dream he kept trying to wake himself up from. He had stepped into the guest room to see a piece of paper on Jade’s bed and he knew before he even unfolded the letter that she was gone.

He read the last line of the letter over and over again. I can’t live like this anymore. Deep down, he always feared that she would give up on them. But not like this. And not this soon.

After Ella was born, bitterness permanently etched itself into Jade’s face. To her, the baby was always a mistake and Zach stopped being someone she loved and became nothing but the man she regretfully had a child with.

She became the antithesis of the girl he fell for. The love they’d once had was replaced with a cold distance. She started sleeping in the guest room. She ate her meals alone. She left the house as much as she could.

Still, he respected that she had learned to tolerate motherhood. While she didn’t love being a stay-at-home mom, he didn’t think she hated it.

But then she left. And if she could abandon them like this, four years in, not even having it in her to look into her little girl’s eyes to say goodbye, then that tolerance had a cruel end.

That’s why now, a month after her sudden departure, Zach is sitting in his living room, fingers curling the corner of the resume belonging to the woman scheduled to arrive in a few minutes.

Dishes clatter as his mother tidies up his kitchen. Normally, he’d feel guilty and nag her to sit down. But things aren’t normal and he’ll take all the help he can get. It’s been an uphill battle trying to pick up the pieces on his own.

His family drove in a few nights ago. They offered to visit as soon as he called with the news, but he didn’t want to put Ella through too much at once, so he waited a few weeks. Once he asked them to come, they dropped everything and set out for the four-hour car ride.

Ella’s playing in the backyard with her grandpa and aunt while Connie helps Zach run interviews. His team’s managers were understanding when he asked for time off, but Zach can’t be away forever. With his training and match schedule, he needs to find a nanny.

He’d rather not introduce a new person into her life, especially this soon, but it’s unavoidable. At least with a nanny, he can control that Ella will always be in the comfort of her home. A place she knows.

Moments like these, he wishes he hadn’t been drafted to a team a state away. If he’d stayed close to his hometown, Ella would see both sets of grandparents more often and he’d have dependable childcare until he figured out how to function as a single dad.

Zach looks over his shoulder through the window, swallowing the lump in his throat when he sees his daughter running circles around her grandpa in the morning sun. The chime of the doorbell throws him out of his trance.

Soft blue eyes meet yours when the door swings open. The stranger on the other side is tall and handsome and younger than you expected, his half-smile clouded by sorrow. You introduce yourself and he offers you a firm but gentle handshake.

“Nice to meet you,” he says. “I’m Zach. Come in.”

You trail him into the large house, mind already racing with the potential of it becoming your workplace. The agency had set up the interview. You don’t know much about the client, except that he has a four-year-old daughter and that he requested a nanny who’s adaptable to a changing schedule.

After meeting Ella’s grandmother, you settle on a couch and make small talk and answer their questions. You learn that Zach is a professional soccer player and that his work can be demanding and inconsistent, but with your apartment being close by, you assure him that you’re reliable and flexible.

By the end of the interview, the idea of a nanny doesn’t make Zach nearly as uneasy as it did an hour ago. You’re kind and experienced and knowledgeable and every time you see his little girl through the window, you smile in pure endearment.

Zach likes the idea of his daughter being around someone joyful. Jade grew to be so cold that Ella learned to go to her dad whenever she wanted to feel reassured and loved. It’s comforting to imagine her growing to like you, maybe even love you, and to be met with the same warmth she’s so full of.

The rest of the interviews go fine, but Zach has always operated on gut feelings and you’re a clear winner. His mom agrees.

────୨ৎ────

After an agency rep calls to tell you that you’ve been offered a trial period, you spend five days at the house getting to know Ella while Zach shadows to answer your questions. He’s friendly and helpful, but visibly tense.

The final afternoon, you’re playing with Ella in the living room when Zach’s phone rings. Ella rushes over to his side, asking if it’s her mommy calling. You notice the nervous way his jaw clenches when he kneels to the floor.

“It’s grandma,” he tells her, holding his phone out so the camera will capture them both.

You pretend you didn’t hear Ella's question. You know nothing about her mom and you wouldn’t dare risk crossing a boundary by asking.

Soon after the call, Ella’s drawing at the dining table while you and Zach periodically glance across the room to check on her from the kitchen. He’s been teaching you how he prepares Ella’s favorite foods. He likes that you write everything down, asking him for details down to exact measurements. If he wasn’t sure that you took the happiness of his daughter seriously before, he is now.

He already told the story to his family and to Jade’s parents and to his closest friends, but that was with people he knew well. People who could comfort him. He’s not sure how to share with you that she left, but he wants to hire you, and this is something you should be aware of.

After he slides a pan into the oven, he stands to face you, towering over you as he wipes his hands with a tea towel.

“You have the job if you want it,” Zach says quietly. You smile at him appreciatively. You weren’t feeling confident, considering how on edge he’s been, but you realize it must not have been you he was nervous about.

“Thank you,” you reply. “I do.”

He nods, looking down as he leans against the kitchen island, and says, “She starts kindergarten next fall. You’d be alright with part-time hours then?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Uh, you should know…” he says, turning his head to look over at his daughter, “her mom left. A little over a month ago. It was out of the blue.”

Your heart twists in pain at his words, at the agony that draws itself into his face.

“I’m so sorry,” you say, staring up at his profile. Zach blinks a few times, gazing at his daughter. You press your lips together, wishing you knew what to say.

“Ella didn’t get a goodbye,” he tells you. Neither did he, not a real one, but that’s irrelevant. “I told her that her mom chose to leave and I don’t know why she made that choice, but I’m not going anywhere. If she brings it up, please say the same.”

“I will,” you reply with an understanding nod, “and only if she mentions it first.”

“Thank you,” Zach says. “I’ll be honest with you. I really don’t want someone to leave her again. You are planning on staying as long as we need you, right? Even when the hours get shorter during the school year?”

He had that same note of desperation in his voice when he asked you about your commitment to the job during the interview, too.

“Yes,” you assure him. “I understand that she needs stability right now.”

Based on the way Zach’s eyes lower, you can tell he needs stability, too. His wife not only left him, but she left him with their child. You can’t imagine the hole that it dug in his heart.

“Thanks,” he says. He takes a breath. He wasn’t strong enough not to cry when he told Ella her mom was gone and he’ll always hate himself for it, but at least he kept his tears from falling this time.

“Do you want to ask her what she thinks about it?” you offer. “I can go put away her laundry to give you some privacy.”

Zach nods in agreement. And as he expected, when he asks his daughter if she’d like for you to hang around here more often after he goes back to work, she gives him an enthusiastic yes.

You’re purposely slow with the laundry to give them time. You come back into the kitchen to see Ella happily eating a freshly baked muffin and swinging her feet, smiling up at her father as he sits next to her at the dining table.

“My daddy said you’re gonna be here every day,” she says to you with a grin, overjoyed by the news.

“Not every day,” Zach corrects her gently. “But most days.”

“Try this!” Ella exclaims, stretching her arm out towards you, the muffin in her fist. The way you happily accept the food even though it’s reduced to smushed fragments in his child’s small hand makes Zach’s heart feel a little lighter.

“That’s delicious,” you say after you take a bite, settling at the table across from them.

Zach’s still getting used to having a woman around who’s so sweet to his child. Jade would hardly ever accept Ella’s offers to share her food, telling him that saying yes to everything would only raise a spoiled child.

“My daddy’s the bestest cook,” she proudly says.

“Best,” Zach corrects. “Thank you, honey.”

“He really is,” you reply. “I don’t know how I’ll fill his shoes, but I’ll try my best.”

Ella’s face pinches in confusion as she kneels over in her booster seat to look under the table.

“I think his shoes will be too big for you,” she mumbles, pointing to your feet. You laugh, meeting Zach’s gaze, seeing the first genuine smile on his face. You didn’t know he had dimples.

He can’t remember the last time he laughed, really laughed, with someone like this. Life’s dealt him a tough hand, but you’ve given him relief.

────୨ৎ────

Zach is organized. So organized that it sort of amazes you. Not only does he give you his, and in turn, your work schedule a month in advance through a color-coded calendar, but he also provides you with a meal plan for Ella so that you don’t have to worry about making one yourself.

The first day on your own with her is perfect. She’s energetic, well-behaved, and loves to talk. Zach left for training at noon and you were surprised that he found the time to text as much as he did. You replied to his every message asking for updates, sharing what you’re doing and reassuring him that Ella’s doing okay.

He gets home an hour after Ella’s bedtime. He’s been on edge all day, worrying that all this was too much, too fast for his little girl. Maybe he should have taken more time off.

You’re finishing up loading the dishwasher when you hear his keys jingling. You turn to greet him as he paces into the kitchen.

“Hey, how was bedtime?” he asks.

“We read three books and she asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep,” you tell him. “No issues.”

Zach sighs in relief. He never liked afternoon training because he missed bedtime. Ella preferred bedtime with her dad over with her mom. She preferred everything with her dad, really. But hearing that she wanted you to stay is reassuring.

“And she ate well?” he asks. He settles on one of the stools lining the kitchen counter, watching you cross the room to stand opposite him.

“Yes,” you tell him. “She was great.”

“Sorry if I was annoying with all the texts,” he says with a small, apologetic smile.

“You weren’t, but I wanted to let you know that it’s okay if you want to set up cameras. I know some parents like having live video they can tune into throughout the day.” You’d already noticed the security cameras outside when you first came to the house. You understand why he’d be so protective.

Zach threads his fingers through his dirty blond hair, damp from the shower he took in the training center’s locker room.

“Alright, I was definitely annoying if you’re offering to be surveilled,” he mumbles with a chuckle.

“No,” you laugh. “Ella did get a little frustrated, though. We were playing princesses and she said princesses aren’t supposed to go on their phones this much.”

Zach breathes a laugh. You’ve only been here for six days, but he hasn’t smiled this much in a long time.

“Thank you for all your work today,” he says. “I won’t keep you any longer.” You give him a bright smile and wish him a good night before you head out.

When Zach trudges upstairs, he peeks into Ella’s room. She’s sleeping peacefully, curled up with her favorite plushie. Now that he has a semblance of normalcy back in his life, he realizes that beneath the sadness and betrayal, he feels anger.

It’s not typical of him to feel angry. But Jade set everything ablaze when she abandoned them and he’s been left in the ashes, trying to stay level-headed while he’s choking on smoke.

He knows he lost Jade’s heart long ago. She lost his, too. It’s the fact that she broke their daughter’s without any hesitation – that’s what kills him.

────୨ৎ────

Zach never takes you up on the offer to have cameras installed. He starts to let go, little by little, eventually going a full day without sending a single check-in text. It’s gratifying to know you’ve earned his trust.

Before you know it, you’ve been Ella’s nanny for two months. She’s made herself a home in your heart. The only way you’d ever leave her is if you were told to, and you can’t even imagine being fired. Zach often checks in to see if you’re happy with your job and asks if there’s anything he can do to make things better. He clearly values you and doesn’t want to lose you.

It’s mid-morning when you’re playing with Ella on the living room floor and Zach comes through the front door. She rushes to him and you smile as you watch him drop his duffle bag and happily scoop his daughter up.

He had an away game last night and flew in early. His skin is blanched, dark half-circles under his eyes, but like always, he finds energy for his daughter. You admire it about him, how she’s never too much for him.

“There’s a plate for you in the kitchen,” you tell him when he meets your gaze.

“You don’t have to–”

“I know,” you say with a laugh. Zach has already told you many times that Ella’s the only one you have to feed, but you can tell he appreciates coming home to a meal. “There were leftovers.”

“Were there?” he asks, brows quirked, an unconvinced smirk on his lips.

You shrug and laugh again. You’ve grown into a friendly level of comfort with each other and you appreciate how you can joke around with him.

Zach sits in the dining room to eat, listening to Ella tell him all about her playdate yesterday. You tidy up the living room as you overhear her chat about how her friend was showing her ballet poses and how badly she wants lessons.

You’d sent Zach a courtesy text before you fell asleep in the guest room last night: We had a great day. She had a lot of fun on the playdate. Just so you’re prepared, she’s VERY into ballet now and is going to ask you if she can get lessons. Sending some options. Then, you sent him a few links to children’s dance classes in town.

You woke up to two texts from him. The first said: Appreciate the warning and the research. Am I crazy for holding on to hope that she’ll like soccer one day? You smiled at your screen. You’d briefly talked with Zach about how Ella has no interest in the sport her father dedicated his career to.

The second text from him, sent fifteen minutes later, read: Would you be alright with taking her to 6-6:45 pm classes on Wednesdays when I can’t? The season starts next week.

You replied when you woke up: Definitely.

You enter the dining room to see Ella hanging off her dad’s shoulders while he tries to eat, continuing to rattle on about how she’d never miss a lesson and would always listen in class.

“Alright, take a breath,” he chuckles. When he tells her you found her a class at a studio uptown and that he’ll enroll her if she’s sure she can commit, she squeals in delight. She hugs Zach, then runs over to hug you, too, nearly knocking you over.

“Easy,” her dad tells her. Ella asks you to turn on the ballet music playlist you found for her yesterday and launches into twirls across the living room.

“Remember what I said,” you tell her over the music. “If you start to get dizzy, you…?”

“Sit down, I know!” she shouts. You meet Zach’s eyes, both of you wearing smiles. You can see the fatigue on his face under the bright dining room light.

“Do you want me to stay another hour so you can catch up on sleep?” you offer. “I don’t mind.”

He knows his heart shouldn’t skip when he looks at you, but it does. He can’t help it. You don’t see this as a job you clock in and out of. You’ve integrated yourself into Ella’s life, into his life, so seamlessly. He doesn’t feel like you’re an employee here. You’re a friend who goes above and beyond to help. You’re someone who his daughter adores. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out.

He looks down at his plate, embarrassed, as if you can read his mind. His head has been doing this lately, rushing into thoughts of you that are much more than professional. He shouldn’t be thinking that his daughter’s nanny is beautiful.

“It’s okay,” he tells you. “You can head home. We’ll see you soon.”

You nod and call Ella over to look at the calendar Zach made. It’s a routine with her every time you leave. She likes knowing when you’ll be back.

When Zach heads upstairs to drop his things off into his bedroom, he stops when he passes the guest room. You left the door ajar. Even though you always keep it neat, only leaving an overnight bag on the nightstand, there’s a lived in feeling, a warmth in the room that never existed before.

Once again, he has to remind himself that you’re paid to be here. But it’s hard not to like you, because even when Jade was living here, he felt alone, whereas having you around makes it hard to ignore that life doesn’t feel all that empty anymore.

────୨ৎ────

“Which one’s yours?”

You look over to the man sitting next to you on the dance studio bleachers. Young girls hop and whirl over the glossy hardwood floor in a sea of pink tutus, five minutes into their lesson.

“Oh, I’m...” You point to Ella. “Her nanny.”

Ella’s been in ballet for a few weeks now and it’s all she talks about. Zach’s schedule allows him to take her to most of her classes, but this is the second one you’ve come to and you can see just how much she enjoys it.

You make small-talk with the man and a few other parents, which makes the time pass quickly. When you get back to the house, Ella scarfs down her dinner and falls asleep during the first book you read her. You’re sitting in the living room when Zach comes home from training.

He’s nearing playoff season and he’s mentioned that he has much more practices booked in his schedule. At this point, he welcomes how you always pretend to accidentally make too much food. He doesn’t expect you to prepare meals for him, but after you’d reassured him that you don’t mind since you’re cooking anyway, he’s relieved to know he’ll have dinner waiting for him tonight.

“Hey,” you greet him from your spot on the couch. “Ballet was the best idea ever. It really tires her out. Bedtime was a breeze.”

“Right?” Zach says with a smile, pulling off his jacket. You look away to avoid gaping at his biceps under his t-shirt. You thought he was good-looking the moment you met him and getting to know him has only made him more attractive.

“I’ve been wanting to ask if you’d like any help with her birthday,” you offer, turning the tv off and standing up. Ella’s fifth birthday is in a month.

“I have some ideas for her party that I’d like your opinion on,” Zach tells you. “Do you want to stay for a few minutes? Or I can just text you.”

“I can stay.”

He’s relieved to hear it. He doesn’t have many moments with you alone. Usually you’re like passing ships in the night, chatting for just a couple of minutes to catch each other up about Ella before one of you leaves the house, so any window of time with you is something he welcomes. Your presence is comforting.

You sit at the kitchen island together. Zach eats as you scroll through his phone, gazing at screenshots of party ideas he saved.

“Oh, she’d love this,” you say, stopping at a photo of ballerina-themed cupcakes. He gazes at you in awe as you look down at the screen. You’re genuinely delighted at the idea of giving his little girl a perfect birthday. “Do you want to have the party here?”

“Yeah, do you think that’s a good idea?” he asks.

“Yeah. If you’re worried about decorating or cleaning up, I’d come early and stay late,” you tell him, continuing to scroll. “She deserves something big.”

He nods, swallowing down his food, too distracted to go for another bite. He can’t wrap his head around how sweet you are. You have no connection to Ella at all, but you treat her like she’s yours. Sometimes more than her own mother did.

You’ve been here for nearly four months now, which in the grand scheme of things really isn’t that long, but he likes that you have such a deep sincerity to you that he can trust that you care about Ella. That you won’t leave.

You look up at him and he glances away, worried he’s been caught staring, clearing his throat.

“Do you know how many people you’re thinking of inviting?” you ask as you hand him back his phone.

Zach’s face falls as he scratches the back of his neck. You’re suddenly tense, the air of familiarity between you now thick and uncomfortable.

“I’m not sure,” he says.

“Sorry,” you say, nervous you crossed a line. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t,” he reassures you. “Sorry. I’ve just been going back and forth on whether I should invite her grandparents. From her mom’s side, I mean.”

“That must be hard,” you empathize.

“They’ve offered to visit a few times, but Ella hated the idea. She doesn’t even want to talk to them on the phone.”

“Was she like that before?” You don’t have to spell it out for him to know what you mean by before. The topic of Ella’s mom’s abandonment has been a silent cloud hanging over both of you.

“No,” Zach says. “I think she makes the connection that they’re her mom’s parents and she doesn’t want to be reminded of her.”

His lips close into a firm line.

“Well, I admire how you respect her comfort level and let her make decisions,” you say. “Maybe you start the conversation about who to invite and mention the grandparents to gauge her reaction?”

Zach nods, trying not to let his heart get carried away with the way it pounds from your words. He’s received compliments on his parenting from his friends and family, but you see the type of father he is more than anyone else these days. He cares about your opinion and it feels good to hear you approve.

“That’s a good idea,” he says. His fork clatters against his dish and he takes a deep breath before asking what’s been spinning in his head. “I figure you’d tell me, but… she hasn’t mentioned her mom, has she?”

You shake your head no. His forehead wrinkles in concern and it sends a pang to your chest. You lean a little closer, crossing the invisible boundary between you for the first time.

“She could just be processing,” you tell him. “And it might take her a while to talk about it. But she’s okay. She’s resilient. She got it from you.”

Zach hopes that he’s not blushing, but his cheeks are burning. He’s sure you’d be able to tell, but thankfully, you look down and stand straight again, as if what you just said wasn’t one of the most significantly unforgettable things he’s ever been told.

Ella is practically a physical copy of her mother. Zach never minded. But hearing that you think his daughter inherited his adaptability, one thing he’s always prided himself on, feels good.

He wasn’t very confident that he’s been doing a great job at adjusting since Jade left and you just lifted a weight off his shoulders without even realizing it.

“Thank you,” he says. You desperately want to ask how he’s been since his wife left, but you’re afraid you’ve already crossed a line with your boss tonight and you certainly don’t want to risk doing it again.

“Sure,” you reply. “I should go. But I’ll let you know if I think of any ideas for the party. I think the ballerina theme is the way to go. This place will be so pink.”

Zach laughs, trying to ignore the way his chest hollows when you expand the distance between you, stepping away.

“Can’t wait,” he says. “Thanks for dinner.”

“There were leftovers,” you reply, even though both of you are already well aware that every time you say that, it’s not true.

────୨ৎ────

It’s only half an hour into Ella’s birthday party and you’re spent. You’re reaching for napkins from the cupboard to clean up a spill in the dining room. When you turn out of the kitchen, a girl runs past you, tripping and accidentally pouring most of her juice onto your dress.

“Sorry,” she says worryingly, eyes wide as she stares up at you.

“It’s okay,” you reply with a giggle, dabbing at the fabric with one of the napkins. “I came prepared.”

Zach just entered the room, witnessing the moment, wondering if he’s ever going to see you do anything that won’t just push him deeper into his crush on you. But once again, his head is no match for his heart when it comes to you.

He’s been trying not to lose his mind today and it’s not because of the chaotic party that’s taken over his house. It’s because it’s the first time he’s seen you in a dress. While it’s appropriate for the occasion, it shows enough of your figure to make his mouth go dry.

You toss the napkin in the garbage, collect more, then start to make your way to the dining room, looking up to find Zach’s eyes.

“Hey,” you say over the noise. He realizes that your voice somehow settles his pulse and makes it race at the same time. “There might not be enough napkins in the world for this party.”

“Invite everyone she wants,” he teases, imitating the way you convinced him to go along with Ella’s idea to invite all twelve kids from her ballet class.

“I take it back,” you chuckle. When you move past him, the fresh scent of his cologne dances over you and it’s so nice that you don’t want to leave his side. But you shake away the thought and tidy up the spill, then head to the living room to mingle.

It’s better to keep your distance from Zach. You have to remind yourself of it almost every day now. You’d been spending more time together to plan Ella’s party and at this point, it’s actually frustrating how kind and funny and charming and perfect he is.

It took a few evenings of party-planning at the house, your voices low as Ella slept upstairs, to start to get to know each other outside of your job. You’ve learned little things about him, like that he’s left-handed, and that he has a sister ten years younger than him and growing up with her helped him practice parenting, and that he likes a cup of tea before bed because it relaxes him.

You also noticed that he drifts into a more timid version of himself whenever the topic of his profession comes up. You’d mentioned that Ella could eventually grow an interest in soccer, that you’d take her to one of his home games if she wanted, and he nodded with a shy smile, saying he liked the idea.

Every side of him is intriguing, and while your conversations haven’t fallen into anything too personal, you want to know more about him past the friendly distance that stands between you.

Ella quickly darts past Zach in the kitchen and he reminds her that tag is an outside game. He’s relieved that she seems happy and careless today.

He’d asked her about inviting her mom’s parents and she answered with a quiet no. He called them to tell them that this birthday would be too difficult to celebrate together and they understood, opting to send a present in the mail.

Zach is glad he took your advice. As he rounds the corner, he sees you chatting with Ella’s friend’s dad. You probably know him from ballet. Zach has spoken with him, too. He knows the man is divorced.

Jealousy swirls in his chest. He shouldn’t care about you talking to another man. Even though you’ve started to share more about your lives with each other and he’s pretty sure you’re single, you could have a boyfriend you haven’t mentioned.

Again, while he tells himself not to feel things for you, it’s so much easier said than done. He has to look away, wondering why he feels like someone who’s not even his is being taken from him.

All the stress leaves your body the minute the last attendee leaves through the front door. It was a great party, but it was exhausting.

Ella’s eating her dinner as you, Zach, and his family tackle the mess. You make conversation with her while you clean the kitchen, happy to hear her rave about what a good birthday she had.

She asks if you can cuddle her for bedtime. Zach overhears and trudges into the kitchen, crumpled decorations in his hands. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and you try to ignore the fact that the mere sight of his forearms makes your stomach go numb with butterflies.

“It’s been a long day,” he says to you quietly. “I can take bedtime.”

“I got it,” you reply. He mirrors your smile. You like that he’s not the type of parent to be bitter that his own kid prefers you sometimes. He’s just happy that Ella’s happy.

When you’re leaning back in Ella’s bed, chatting as you wait for her to doze off, her arm is draped over your body and her cheek is on your shoulder. She’s grown to be totally comfortable with you, always taking the opportunity to be affectionate.

Your eyelids are heavy as you ramble about what she’ll be doing with her grandparents and aunt in the next few days, as they’ll be staying in town for a bit. Zach gave you the next three days off since childcare will be covered.

“I heard your grandma say something about taking you to the beach tomorrow,” you tell her. “Are you excited?”

“Will you come, too?” she asks. You chuckle softly, kissing the top of her head.

“I have work, remember?” you tell her. You and Zach had decided long ago that you don’t want to tell her you’re paid to be here, that your job is taking care of her. You always just refer to yourself as her dad’s friend.

“Okay,” she sighs. She lets out a big yawn. “If I tell someone my birthday wish, will it not become true anymore?”

“I’m pretty sure the rule is that you can tell one grown-up,” you play along, “and it’ll still come true.” She nuzzles in. You assume she’ll mention a gift she wanted but didn’t receive today.

“I wished that you were my mommy,” she mumbles into the dark.

Your throat tightens and your heart sinks and you hate that the sweet, innocent child clinging onto you has to carry the weight of being abandoned. You kiss the top of her head again and try not to cry.

“I love you, okay?” you tell her. She nods and squeezes you tighter and within minutes, her breathing grows deeper.

When you head downstairs, you see that almost all of the mess has been tidied up. Zach is hauling a full garbage bag to the front door, giving you a tired smile when he sees you.

“Do you need any help with–”

“Go home,” he interrupts, faking irritation. You laugh in defeat.

“Fine.” You step into the living room to say goodbye to his family, antsy to have some time to yourself so that you don’t have to force down your tears any longer.

A few seconds after the door shuts behind you, Zach remembers that he’d set aside a container of leftover treats from the party for you.

You pace down the sidewalk into the cool evening air, unlocking your car remotely, unable to stop your tears from building. When you hear Zach call your name, you quickly wipe at your eyes, realizing you’ve smudged your make-up.

“There were leftovers,” he says when you turn to look at him.

“That’s my line,” you try to joke. You take the container. “Thanks.”

He notices the shine in your eyes immediately.

“Are you alright?” Zach asks softly. You gaze up at him, heart breaking a little more at the concern in his expression.

“Just a busy day,” you tell him.

“Did something happen?”

“No,” you say quickly. “Or– yeah, but I was going to tell you later. Without the tears.” You offer a pathetic laugh to break the tension, but he’s too worried to laugh, too.

“What is it?” he asks.

You look up to Ella’s bedroom window. The first time you’d walked up to this house, you were oblivious to the fact that the two people living in it would steal your heart. You know you need to tell him what his daughter said. But you’d hoped you’d have more time to process it.

“Before bed,” you say, your voice thin, “she told me she wished I was her mom.”

It takes all the air out of Zach’s lungs. He opens his mouth to reply, but he’s without words. He crosses his arms, looking down at the pavement.

“I know. It’s a lot,” you mumble. Your temples ache as more tears build up, frustrated that this is Zach and Ella’s reality. “It just makes me so sad. I don’t want to say anything bad about your ex-wife, but I don’t understand how she could just leave you two. Has she not called to check in on her? Or to wish her a happy birthday?”

Your heart starts to thrum even harder. Your words were impulsive, surprising you even though you’re the one who said them, and the fear that you just crossed a line and exposed your feelings for him rushes through you.

“No,” is all Zach is able to say. He stares at you, speechless, biting the inside of his cheek.

“When Ella said… what she said, I told her that I love her,” you say. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” he says, his tone tender. Your lips twist into a sad smile. You want to hug him. But you step back. Because he’s still your boss and you don’t want him to think you can’t remain professional. You’re already anxious and regretful that you brought up Ella’s mom.

“Thank you,” you say. “I should go. Good night.”

Zach’s dazed the rest of the evening. He watches you drive off. He goes back inside to finish cleaning up. He spends time with his parents and sister, but soon heads upstairs to sleep, too distracted to keep up conversation.

His mind keeps him awake as he lies in bed. He stares up at the darkened ceiling, watching the shadow of the trees by his window rustle in the wind. In a matter of a minute, your relationship reached a new level of vulnerability.

And now that he has time to wade through his feelings, beneath the pain he feels for Ella and what she told you, he can’t deny that his heart fluttered when you said you don’t understand how someone could leave him and his daughter. Maybe you feel the same way about him.

This is not just a crush. He’s falling for you.

────୨ৎ────

You stare at the text Zach sent you a few minutes ago as you brush your teeth the next morning.

Sorry for bothering you on your day off but Ella has asked me about 50 times (give or take) if I can ask you to come to the beach today. I told her you’re busy but you know her. No pressure but we’d all love to have you. Would count as a work day, of course.

It was already hard to keep your feelings for Zach at bay when all you can think about is his smile and his voice and the way he makes you feel more comfortable than any man ever has, but now, you’re afraid it might be awkward when you see him. You’d said something so heavy last night, then left abruptly.

Nonetheless, the love you have for Ella and the love you’re starting to have for Zach is louder than the worry you’re feeling.

You reply: Don’t count it as work. It’s how I’d like to spend my day off. When and where?

A minute later, he sends you the address and time.

It’s late morning when you text Zach that you’ve arrived at the beach. He heads to the parking lot, leaving his parents, sister, and daughter by the shoreline so that he can speak to you alone. He hates that he was too in shock to thank you last night. But it was all so much to take in.

He spots you pulling a bag out of your trunk, greeting you with a soft “hey” to not startle you. It’s so nice to know that you’re here because you want to be.

You turn to see Zach in his swim shorts, his hair wet, water droplets scattered atop his muscles. You close the trunk, hoping he didn’t catch the way your eyes lingered.

“Hey. What’d you tell Ella about the ‘work’ I had today?” you ask, trying to establish a lighthearted tone. “Did my boss let me leave early?”

“We can say that,” he says with a smile. “He sounds like a good guy.”

“He is. It’s my other boss that’s kind of a nightmare,” you joke.

Zach takes you in, squinting a bit.

“You don’t really think of me as your boss, do you?” he asks, realizing he hates the implication. It makes him feel like even thinking about you as more than a friend is deeply unethical. Like there’s a power imbalance and he’s taking advantage of it somehow.

You still for a moment.

“I mean, I don’t know,” you chuckle. “It doesn’t feel like it, but aren’t you?”

“I guess.” His brows furrow. “It just doesn’t sound right.”

“How about we say… Ella’s my boss? And yours, too, now that I think about it.”

Zach laughs, “That works for me.” He nervously crosses his arms. “Uh… before we go, I wanted to thank you for handling last night so well. I think you said exactly what she needed to hear.”

Your face drops slightly. Remembering the way Ella sounded when she told you her wish, resigned but hopeful, breaks your heart every time you think about it.

“Of course,” you say. It’s a relief that he’s not upset about anything you said. “Is she doing okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Being her usual self. I didn’t tell her you were coming, so she’ll be excited.” The way you smile at the idea of making her happy is something he’s grown to adore about you.

You make your way to the shoreline, and as expected, Ella squeals when she sees you, running straight for you. You crouch to hug her tightly, thrilled that you were invited today.

You sit on a line of towels with Zach and his parents and his sister while Ella explains to you what kind of sandcastle she wants to make. You make conversation with everyone over the soothing sounds of the waves crashing against the shore and eventually, you point out a small rubber ball by the cooler.

“You wanna play soccer?” you ask Ella.

“I’m not good at it,” she replies.

“You have the best coach right here,” you say, pointing to Zach. “Let’s give it a try. Maybe we can all work together to score a goal against your dad.”

Zach smiles in surprise when Ella actually agrees. You help him create a makeshift goal line with pebbles and shells as Ella kicks the ball over the sand with her grandparents and aunt. After you set up, you join Ella while Zach makes an exaggerated show of stretching.

“Is that how you always warm up?” you ask him.

“Is there something wrong with it?” he answers. Ella laughs as he dramatically stretches. By now, you can tell by the type of dad he is that he was always on the playful side.

Ella imitates his stretching, then determination flashes over her face and she darts forward to try to kick the ball past him without warning. Zach pretends to be too slow to react, reaching after the ball has already whizzed past him, and lets out a defeated groan.

He picks his daughter up as she jumps in victory, jokingly demanding she tell him when she got so good at soccer. You smile as you watch them share a moment of joy in the sun.

“Ella, would you ever want to go to one of your dad’s games?” you offer.

“Yeah!” she exclaims.

“Yeah?” Zach says. “Why don’t you say yeah whenever I ask?”

“Just take the win, Zach,” you say with a laugh. He grins, loving the way his name sounds when it comes from you.

You enjoy the rest of the afternoon, talking with Zach’s family, playing with Ella, catching glances at Zach when he’s not looking. They invite you to dinner, but you politely decline, figuring you should give them time alone. You thank them for the fun and go home feeling lighter than you did when you woke up.

That evening, as Connie helps Zach clean up after dinner, she mentions how good you are for Ella. He glances down at his mom as she hands him a rinsed plate to put in the dishwasher.

“She really is,” Zach agrees.

“I think she’s good for you, too,” she says with a hint of a smile.

“Real subtle, Mom,” he chuckles nervously. “It’s not like that.”

“Alright,” she says with an unconvinced tone. She takes a beat. “I just need to say–”

“Of course you do,” he mumbles with an amused smirk.

“–that I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” she speaks over him. “I haven’t seen you be you. But you are again, especially when she’s around. It’s just nice to see you smiling so much again. I know things have been tough for you.”

Zach’s teeth dig into his bottom lip. His mom is right; things have been tough, even before Jade left. He desperately wanted companionship, to at least come home to someone he could call a friend, but Jade couldn’t give him what he needed. He hasn’t felt full of life in a long time. Not until you knocked on his door.

“I’m better now,” he says.

Connie nods, sadness filling her features as she pulls Zach in for a side-hug.

“Hey, I’m alright,” he consoles her. “Don't worry about me.”

“You’re a parent. You should know the worrying never stops.” She pulls back. “So, you’re really going to deny it? I see the way you look at her.”

Zach shakes his head with an exaggerated scoff.

“You’re relentless,” he jokes.

“You used to tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Alright,” she sighs. “She looks at you the same way, you know.”

“Mom.”

Connie laughs and hands him another plate. He knows that the idea of you looking at him the way he looks at you won’t leave his mind any time soon.

(part two)

[r-riri]

take me back to the night we met - Thomas Shelby x reader

divider by @firefly-graphics

word count 1,028

angst warning

the frosted air seeped into the thin building, grasping for any warmth the coat could savour. the unapologetic echoing sound of her shoes dug into the ever so slightly rotting wood. she walked into the common seating area seeing not one ounce of life, no colour or warmth precent, not since he walked out that night.

she picked up a smug glass filled a quarter way with only the finest Irish whiskey, now sat warm and untouched, like milk that children would leave out as a offering to the joyful idea of cheer and warmth.

if she listened hard enough she swore she could hear the glass laughing at her, in some fitful attempt to ease her growing pain the glass was discarded to the ground. the echoing shatter was silenced by the harsh rain that was thundering on to the small house that dared not to be called a home.

she watched the splatter of whiskey wet the floor disapproving, she scoffed at the sight hearing his voice rang though her head

"don't waste that, its expensive" tommy scolded the girl, as she screwed her nose up in disgust at the unwelcoming taste of the whiskey, already regretting the moment she requested something differing from her usual rum

"you drink this voluntarily? tommy darling no" the girl laughed as she pushed the glass to him waving henry over as he already served her the drink she frequented

the girl scoffed at the burning memory "fuck him" she muttered walking to the front door opening it and peering outside to ensure no one from that wretched family was around, though she quickly remembered what day it was

Thomas fucking Shelby's wedding day, to Grace, the girl who betrayed his trust and family times over

she looked up willing the tears to stay in place as she emptied her mailbox hurried as she ventured back inside to avoid the harsh weather, and to hide the tears soaking her once pleasantly made face

she wiped her eyes smudging any resemblance of looking pretty out the door, she picked the letters up seeing they were all from the same last name. the name that haunted her dreams and days. she couldn't run fast enough to escape that name.

you are formally invited to the joining of Thomas Shelby and Grace Burgess, please come to the address listed at 11 in the morning to see the beauty of love and compassion. you are formally invited by the groom

she ripped the letter up into pieces as she saw the familiar writing of a typewriter, though a genius was never needed to know she wrote the letter , she felt as if a scream was crawling up her throat. eyes stinging with burning hatred and betrayal but she forced herself to read the second letter

i expect you to be there y/n, its foolish the game you're playing. if you do not attend count yourself excluded from the Shelby's protection

she let out a small wail but swallowed the bulk of it 'im sorry tommy' . she wished she could have been there for him, see him dressed so beautifully, though she doubted he dressed any differently from usual, always so well evened. it was one aspect she adored of the man who could be described so negatively

the women felt her legs buckled under the weight of her emotions as she laid curled on the floor

"was i never good enough? i waited tommy, i watched my tommy disappear into the dark calculated man i swore i would still forever love" the woman clutched her eyes closed wanting to escape from the harsh reality of the love of her life getting married to a woman that was never going to be her

"take me back tommy, please just take me back to the night we met when you held me so tightly, back when war didn't plague your memories and when my heart was mended by your presence" she cried softly picturing the soft memories that grew between to two, the women never wished for a man any different that he, though he wished for better than her, better than the woman would ever give him.

little did the woman know whilst she laid on the ground, the man who owned her heart watched his side of the church fill with his family and closest people though he noticed, as always, she wasn't present. he watched polly meet his sight and shook her head discreetly, though he caught it. whilst he claimed grace will be the one who evaded him long enough and that she would be the one he was made to be with, his demeanour straightened up hiding his disappointment skilfully with years of practice

he wished she was here, maybe she would beg for him. maybe she would ruin his wedding night if only it meant that she craved him.

whilst the night went on, love went high, he knew he would forever regret the day he told her he didn't need her anymore, because even if he didn't need to rely on anyone but himself he knew deep down that she was forever his safety away from the memories of war and death, but he gave up on that. he couldn't expect her to beg for him back.

chaos followed the next few years, heartbreak rained on him as he lost over and over to the point where he though he was numb to the decision thrown at him until the day he got that letter. the damned letter than showed Thomas Shelby that he will forever feel the pain of his loss

you are hereby formally invited to the wedding of y/n l/n and Louis Windsor, please come to the address printed below for a beautiful noon wedding, you are formally invited by the bride

that very letter stabbed him though the heart in a way that he had never experienced, at that second he understood the reason she never came to his wedding.

if only he had the confidence to do the very thing he wished she would have done the day he married.

[rosenfey]

⊱ I have a new fave picrew because it lets make my ocs in their full weird girl glory like I always wanted. descriptions under the cut. ♡

꒰ FAERENE ꒱ — noble﹒necromancer﹒neutral good. a foundling, a fae, a necromancer. raised by an esteemed wizardry family in a sun-lit vineyard estate, faerene feels the most comfortable around the creatures of the forest and the walking dead in the family crypts. adept in necromantic arts as well as fungal-infused magic, she is passionate about preserving life and death both. she is a gentle and kind soul striving to find beauty in unexpected places, and most of the time, succeeds. if only she could do the same for her own heart.

꒰ ODETTA ꒱ — acolyte﹒warlock﹒lawful evil. raised in seclusion and trained to be the perfect member of the clergy, odetta finds out the hard truth: about her god, her mother, and her people. and when she comes into contact with the deep and dark evil lurking beneath her home, she sets upon a bloody path of vengeance. she will break her chains; and end anyone standing in her way.

꒰ DOROTHEA ꒱ — cleric﹒bard﹒neutral good. cursed by the people who burned her mother at the stake and blessed by the strange moth-like being she had worshipped, dorothea was found in the forest as a babe and raised by an order of clerics. working as an embalmer and a dirge bard to the dead, dorothea keeps largely to herself. she can speak to moths, hoping that one day they will lead her to her one true maker.

꒰ ALETHEA ꒱ — witch﹒necromancer﹒chaotic good. witch of the woods, scourge of the bog. wise healer, feared hag: alethea is all of those and none of them. she can raise the dead (with consent, of course), enjoys spending time in her garden, and adores her pet spiders more than most people. she treats nature with a kind hand; and punishes all who might tamper with it with a fate worse than death.

꒰ DAISY-MAY ꒱ — wastelander﹒herbalist﹒chaotic good. even the apocalypse can't kill all life and daisy-may is one of the people who knows where to look for it. a farmer's daughter, a trained herbalist, with so much to gain and nothing to lose; after her childhood home gets destroyed, daisy-may goes on a wild search for her last known family member; but she quickly learns you need to be careful of what you're wishing for.

꒰ ARDAINE ꒱ — vampire﹒necromancer﹒chaotic neutral. turned into a vampire during a foraging trip in the forest, aine returned home to find her little sister murdered in cold blood. coming to terms with her new identity, she made sure those responsible were met with a swift end; and yet, immortality is forever, and her troubles were only beginning. and the worst thing is, that after all these years, she doesn't even recall her sister's face anymore.

⊱ tagging: [un]like this post to be added / removed.

@cempaxochitl﹒@lavampira﹒@euryalex﹒@starforger﹒@florbelles

@aldwirs﹒@pawnguild﹒@archonfurina﹒@inafieldofdaisies﹒@feykiller

@zahra-hydris﹒ @noughtomaton﹒@corvus-rose﹒@ferwynter﹒@thefrostyshepard

@melancholicrainstorm﹒@sylvthara﹒@katsigian﹒@rindemption﹒@vilnan

@eldensrings﹒@claudiawolf﹒@therapyvibes﹒@sibeal﹒@epheyang

@lotusfaebell﹒@anoramactir﹒@gallusneve﹒@lutebard﹒@nokstella

@pavus﹒@spectordameron﹒@merdruid﹒@davrinassan﹒@shaweetiehs

@corffiser﹒@ladyinthebluebox﹒@thedeadthree

[fallenhunnyapple]

Hell is Forever and Heaven is a Lie

Here's Part 1 of the Sinner!Adam AU RP ⚠️Disclaimer⚠️ We started this RP in February very soon after we got into Adamsapple so our grasp of the characters then and our HCs and stuff were not what they are now, so there's gonna be some inconsistencies and maybe behaviors that we no longer attribute to them. So just something to keep in mind if things Change over the course of the posts. Lucifer and Charlie are written by Me Adam (and briefly later Niffty and Husk) are written by @fallenguitarhero

~~~~~~~~~~rp start~~~~~~~~~~~

When Charlie called him over in a panic, Lucifer was instantly there by her side. Adam. Having Adam in Hell as a sinner was, well. It was a whole disaster. It made sense? He was far from Noble and his soul was still human, though he lacked the element of free will. But it certainly didn't sit well with him. Especially since he was near his daughter. His precious little girl who he had dared to hurt before. He still wished he had taken him out back then, but now it seemed that it wouldn't have mattered since he was right there in Hell again.

Charlie, his kind caring and sweet daughter, had convinced him to help in such a drastic way. Anything to help her, and this was part of Anything. He knew she always had Hell's best interest at heart, whether they deserved it or not. But it was true that if he could have Adam under control, that would endanger her Much less than if he was allowed to exist within the Hotel without him.

With a sigh and a glance back at the one is question, Lucifer faced his daughter with a gentle smile. "Okay. I'll do it."

There was obvious relief on Charlie's expression as she hugged him. "Thanks Dad! I guess now I'll just. Have to tell him. Yeah, that'll be easy... Haha..."

Her tone was obviously nervous but she pulled away from the hug and took a few steps towards Adam before clearing her throat. "Heeeey, so. Adam. You can Stay here, we're all about second chances! But, uh. All of Hell will probably be after you and well.... We don't want that to fuck us over. Sooo there is Ooone little itty bitty condition. And! It's for your safety too! You'll be killed if you're not under some sort of... Protection. And my dad, Lucifer, has agreed toooo... Make a deal with you to keep the rest of Hell from trying to kill you and destroy the Hotel! Yaaaaaay."

---- Adam was not happy.

He'd had time to calm down from his initial panic and rage. The situation still fucking sucked but now he was actually taking stock of his surroundings and thinking through his options.

He fucking hated being ignored by Lucifer and his little bitch of a daughter but at the very least it gave him the space he needed to think things through. Adam wandered through the rebuilt lobby and poked at the decorations- ugh, why was hell so red? What a lame color. Adam liked blue better.

So. Clearly, something had been done to his wings so that he couldn't just fly up and open the portal between heaven and hell. Adam also felt disoriented and off balance, as though his center of gravity had changed.

Speaking of change...

Adam caught a glimpse of his reflection in a decorative mirror and went very still. His hand rose to touch one of his new horns and he winced when his claws scraped the surface and agitated the swiftly growing headache that was pounding behind his eyes. He'd assumed that the familiar weight was because of his helmet but these- Adam tugged hard, wanting to tear it out at the root, but all that happened was his headache getting worse. Yeah. That was real.

"What the fuck." Adam swiftly crossed the rest of the room and grabbed the mirror. His eyes darted rapidly back and forth as he took in the changes to his head and face; the new horns and the stupid ears and-

Adam yelped and spun around with a hand clutching his chest.

"Fuck! You scared the crap outta me, don't do that." Adam completely disregarded that Charlie had in no way snuck up on him. He still listened to her, his eyebrows climbing with each word.new

"Let me stop you right there," Adam cut her off mid 'yaaay' with a dismissive flick of his hand. "I don't need protection and I definitely don't need it from him. Are you forgetting who I am? I'm the Adam, bitch! I kill more sinners in one day than fentanyl does in a year!" Adam's voice pitched high and mocking; "Youw pwecious daddy ovew dewe," His voice dropped to its usual rough tone, "can eat a whole bag of dicks."

----

Charlie hadn't really registered what Adam was up to but she didn't expect to startle him. But of course he didn't seem to care. She knew this wouldn't be easy but she still deflated a bit. Yeah, Adam was an asshole, she knew that. And she didn't think he would be willing or accepting of the things she had to say. She took in a deep breath through her nose and tried again.

"Look, I know this isn't... ideal. For any of us. But you're here now! In Hell! And uh. I don't think yooou really get your position here. I-I know you're 'the Adam' but that paints a target on your back, you know?" Truthfully, she didn't know if Adam still retained his strength as an angel which would, admittedly make him at least partially able to handle himself, but in Hell? There would be no shortage of people aiming for him and if they worked together it would absolutely raze this place to the ground after they had just rebuilt it.

"Don't talk about my dad that way." A demonic edge laced her tone. She had low patience for Adam, but she was trying. But no one disrespected her dad.

Lucifer stepped in, placing a hand gently in front of her. "Let me handle this Char-char." He didn't like seeing Charlie agitated and he knew her kind and patient speech wasn't going to get through to a piece of shit like Adam.

"Listen here, fuckhead. I know you think you're still the same you were before you got fucking Skewered a million times. But uh, how do I put this nicely. You're fucking nothing now, Bitch. You're in my world now and none of your Angelic bullshit even works here. Go ahead and fucking try it."

"Dad!" She didn't want to encourage a fight. Maybe... Maybe this tactic would work? But she was still so worried, her stomach tied in knots. She knew her dad could handle Adam, but she didn't like to see this kind of confrontation all the same.

---

She really didn't know when to quit, huh? And here he thought that radio prick liked the sound of his own voice, sheesh!

When he'd first seen her all those months ago in the embassy, Adam had been glad that she looked nothing like Lilith. All he saw when he looked at her was Lucifer and it had made her so much easier to hate. Fun to mess with, too. She fell for all the tricks that the old cuckmaster had always been a little too wily for.

But now? He wished she was enough like her old man to know when to call it quits. This stubborness was all Lilith, definitely. Lucifer had at least known he'd lost all those years ago when he got banished.

Well, he had known. Charlie changed that, didn't she? Adam didn't know how that made him feel.

Adam rolled his eyes and scoffed. As Charlie tried to explain his 'position' (on top like always, duh!) he mocked her with nonsensical high-pitched 'blahblahblahs', his hand making yapping motions the whole time. When she finally finished, he stuck out his tongue with a 'bleh.'

Oh, wait. Things were getting fun now. Adam's eyes narrowed and his smug smirk widened into a full grin.

"Or what?" It took only the barest flicker of movement for his eyes to snap to Lucifer. "Aww, here comes daddy to the rescue-"

Adam's shocked face was priceless. It took him a bit to recapture his bravado and puff back up. His useless wings fluffed up to make him look bigger than he already was compared to the devil.

He immediately turned away, his side facing the pair so he could still watch them, and struck a pose by pointing at a piece of particularly ugly decoration.

Nothing happened.

"Uhhhh!" Adam shook his hand as if it was a broken tool. "One second, gimme one second, this has never happened before-" He peered at his finger the way an idiot like him might peer down the barrel of a gun that wasn't firing. "What the fuck did you do to me!?"

Because it had to be their fault.

----

Charlie's eyes had narrowed at the mocking but she didn't expect him to have any respect for her anyway. Still, it was frustrating to be mocked like that. It pissed her off when demons dismissed her and it did now too. But it seemed something her dad said had definitely caused Adam to drop his bravado.

She had her hand clasped on her dad's shoulder, apprehensive. She didn't doubt when Lucifer said Adam didn't have his angelic powers anymore, but that didn't mean she didn't tense up when he tried. It was a relief that nothing happened and she let out a nervous breath.

Lucifer on the other hand just stood, both hands resting on his cane with a smug and even amused expression. "Having... Trouble there?" His tone was as mocking as his expression. He wanted Adam to feel Small. Height didn't mean Shit, especially when the power gap between them had only Widened. He took a couple steps forward, and chuckled. "Oh, we didn't do anything. Guess actions have Consequences, huh? Never had to experience those, did you?"

----

Adam slowly looked back to Lucifer and Charlie. There was something different in his expression, a look in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Even when he had fought Lucifer, he'd been defiant until the end- until he'd been stabbed in the back by that little gremlin.

Adam had never really been afraid before. Startled, yes. A little rattled? Of course. But there had never been a time in his life that he'd been truly frightened. Now, though, Lucifer's smile felt more like the bared fangs of a predator then the smug grin that Adam usually wanted to punch off his face.

Adam drew in a breath and got his shit together. This didn't really mean anything. He was still Adam. Heaven wouldn't abandon him like this.

He caught a glimpse of his reflection from the corner of his eye.

"FUCK!" Adam snatched something small and kitschy and threw it at the mirror. The shattered glass distorted his reflection and made him feel even worse. He hunched his back and mantled his wings around himself, full on ready to throw something somewhere between a temper tantrum and a nervous break down.

"This can't be happening. I'm the first fucking man! I've-" His voice cracked and he grabbed at his horns to confirm to himself they were still there, "I've never done anything to deserve this! I'm not some sinner piece of crap- I belong in heaven, not here. Not with you freaks!"

----

Lucifer took a step back to avoid any glass shards from the broken mirror and sighed. He knew immediately that at the very least Vaggie would come to check. Maybe that obnoxious radio asshole too. No, that wouldn't do.

"Hey, Charlie. I'm gonna take him elsewhere until the deal is done. Come up with some cover story for what happened to the Mirror and we'll be back when I got it." His tone was stern and serious and

Charlie nodded slowly. "Right...." She had been startled by it but she heard footsteps from upstairs now and it sunk in that this was actually a Bad situation to have the others see. "Right! Okay! I got it! Uhm, I can. I can figure it out... Just, be careful Dad."

"Don't worry, I can handle this." He gave Charlie a gentle smile before walking up to Adam and grabbing him by the collar. No time to be a bitch with an existential crisis.

It was not a moment too soon when Vaggie appeared at the veranda of the second floor and looked over to railing to Charlie and the glass scattered on the floor.

"Charlie! Are you okay? What happened?"

"Oh, uh. Just got a little too... Excited and ended up knocking some things over that cracked the mirror. Haha, clumsy me-!"

~~

Now they were Literally in Lucifer's house. It hadn't been properly lived in for a while, but it was clean enough to handle this mess. He unceremoniously tossed Adam at the couch in the living room and sat in the nearby matching armchair.

"Done having your fit?"

----

Adam was too consumed by his angst to notice that Lucifer was approaching. It was only when he was scruffed that he properly tuned back into the situation at hand.

"Huh?" Adam blinked dumbly. He had just enough time to register what was happening before he was thrown into a couch. Instead of trying to dodge, Adam chose to just use the remaining momentum to climb onto the couch and flop face first onto it.

"Yes." Adam answered snippily after a few seconds. "I'm now having a heart attack instead."

----

Well at least he wasn't having a tantrum. Did the sudden change of scenery knock him out of it? Hopefully. He didn't like dealing with this manchild at the best of times. Though it was gratifying knowing how pathetic and weak he was now. And Adam had seen it for himself too. "Oh, good. Let me know when you're done with that and we can..." he sighed. "Have a real conversation."

He said that but he was restless and he still didn't like Adam so instead of being an adult and having any kind of patience, he picked up a rubber duck from the nearby pile and tossed it at Adam.

----

Adam grunted. He didn't want to talk to Lucifer either. In fact, maybe if he ignored him long enough Lucifer would go away.

The duck squeaked as it bounced off of Adam and into the back of couch and then fell back on Adam's back between his wings. Why have you betrayed it like this, father?

Adam grunted.

"Bruh," Adam lifted his head and squinted at Lucifer. He looked terrible. His face was mostly unchanged from when he'd been an angel, but for the rectangular pupils and sheep-like ears. But the bags under his eyes and unkempt appearance had been joined by bloodshot eyes and red lines on his face from the couch. "Did you just throw a rubber duck at me? Have some respect for the dying, asshole."

----

Adam, the guy who's pride almost rivaled his own at times, was feeling sorry for himself as he lay on his couch. Lucifer couldn't help but find the humor in this and let out a single chuckle. He almost felt bad for the duck though. At least Adam didn't try to break it or something.

"You're already dead twice over asshole, you're not dying again. At least not so easily. You see sinners are resilient. And that's what you are now. Get it?"

----

"Mm." Adam propped himself up on his elbows. Maybe someone would have expected him to throw another fit or attack Lucifer... but he'd figured out that this wasn't the sort of situation he could brute force his way out of.

"Is it because I died in hell?" Adam looked at Lucifer with an uncharacteristically serious expression. Then, he said something that he hadn't even realized had been bothering him; "None of my girls came back. Just me."

He rolled the rubber duck off his back and into his hand with his wing. Instead of crushing it or throwing it, he just held it.

"Angels don't become sinners but," It sounded like he was pulling teeth just to admit he wasn't perfect. "I have a human soul."

So it wasn't his fault. It was the fucking... radiation or something that hell had.

"Okay. Got it. I'm a sinner for now or whatever." Adam looked at the duck instead of Lucifer. "This blows, man."

---- This was probably the calmest Lucifer had ever seen Adam. All his bravado was gone and he seemed... Small. Like Lucifer had wanted. Good. He didn't have sympathy for him, he didn't care about his problems. He crossed his legs and leaned to one side of the arm chair, propping his chin up with a hand.

"Look, I'm gonna be real with you. This is a first. Angels dying is new to us, and, well, a human soul getting a second afterlife is also new. You've done enough shit this time to get stuck down here with the rest of us and pretty sure you're not going anywhere now. So you might as well get used to it."

And he was absolutely Watching Adam's hands like a hawk. He was being gentle with the duck and that kept him from getting more on his bad side at least.

---- All Adam heard was Lucifer admitting that this had never happened before. He latched onto that one crumb of hope like it was the only thing he had because, well, it was.

"You're right!" Adam shot up with all the energy he lacked just moments before. "This is some kind of freak accident! And that means nobody knows I'm down here, they all think I'm dead!"

Adam looked to Lucifer with manic eyes.

"I have to report to the embassy. If I tell someone I'm alive then I can go back to where I belong." Trying to appeal to Lucifer, he kept ranting; "That's the best option for all of us, right? You don't want me here anymore then I do."

----

Lucifer rolled his eyes. Of course Adam was all gungho about this now. Of course, he wouldn't let that happen. Did Heaven even have a new Ambassador for Hell now that Adam was dead? Had they even bothered to figure that out? He had no faith in Heaven so he doubted it.

"You're not an Angel anymore, Adam."

The words were cold, spoken coldly. And the accompanying gaze held none of the usual jovial playfulness. He had One goal right now and if Adam thought he had any other choice, it would make it even more difficult.

----

Maybe it was the directness of the words or the cold manner in which they were spoken that did it but either way, Adam listened. His wings slumped.

The reality of the situation was finally starting to sink in. He didn't want to accept it but he wasn't so stupid he'd keep beating his head against a brick wall. Above all else, Adam was motivated by his own self-interest and his survival came first and foremost in this situation.

But first, a little bit of self-pity was called for.

"I'm fucked." Adam dropped his head into his hands. "I'm soooo fucked."

----

It seemed the seriousness of the situation was finally sinking in. Good. Lucifer stood up from his chair and strode up to Adam. His expression was still serious, but not quite as harsh as before.

"Yeah, you are. Heaven ain't taking you back and Hell, well, most of Hell would love to string you up and watch you struggle through whatever depraved shit they could come up with."

And now the more familiar playfulness was returning. "That's why you should've listened more closely to Charlie. She had a solution for you. One that would, more or less, keep Hell from ripping you to pieces over and over for Eternity."

----

Adam could have argued with that first point but he knew Lucifer was right about the rest. He would never get out of hell if he was pounced on by the first sicko with an agenda the second he left this mansion.

He… honestly wasn't too familiar with what that depraved shit could be. The most 'depraved' thing he had seen in his long life had been some of the Angel Dust porn one of his exorcists had found and brought to heaven. He'd wanted to let her keep it but Sera had gotten all tense about contraband and made him confiscate it. He'd given her the real sick shit to destroy and hid the rest under his mattress. The exorcist had been stoked when he told her.

She'd died while the shield was up. Adam wished he killed that radio prick when he had the chance.

"Yeah, I heard her." Adam sank back against the couch. "A deal with you…" His melancholy expression twisted into sardonic anger. "Because that ended real well for Eve, right? Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

----

Lucifer stepped around to the back of the couch and leaned over it, chin in hand again. "Tell me, what other choice do you think you have?" Adam could protest and be pissed about his non-option, but that didn't change the fact that it was a non-option.

Charlie wanted to protect Adam, give him a chance. Lucifer loved his baby girl but she sure had some weird morals and ideas. And he had already vowed to do anything that helped her with them. His own feelings were always going to be secondary to this. And that was the only reason he had to corner Adam and force him to make the deal. Letting him out without it and at the risk of getting his ass got by any sinner or demon out there wasn't an option for him either.

----

Adam did not like Lucifer being behind him. He twisted awkwardly and painfully to make sure that he wasn't too vulnerable in front of the devil. He was a little jumpy about having his back turned to people now and especially to the most hated being in creation.

"I could die." It's obvious from his facial expression that Adam doesn't consider that an option. He chews on that for a bit. Death or Lucifer, huh? At least until he can find a way back to heaven…

"So if I make a deal with you, you'll protect me from the demons." Adam leaned back. "What do you get out of it?"

----

Lucifer hummed, knowing that Adam wasn't actually considering that. Not Adam, he was going to inflict his existence on people for as long as he possibly could. That was one thing he was sure about. But when the question came back to him he waved his hand a bit dismissively.

"Well, mostly I'm doing this for Charlie. But in terms of, I guess, formalities, it'd be… 'I lend you my protection so no one will harm you so long as you're in hell or else they'll have to deal with Me, and you know how powerful I am, and in exchange you behave for the people at the Hotel and I get your soul.' Something like that."

----

Adam blanched.

"My soul!?" Of course Heaven's poster boy wasn't taking that well. He looked like he was on the edge of deciding to try his chances in a mad dash for the embassy. He was so distressed that he only barely picked up on the implicit threat of Lucifer's power. "You want me to sell my soul to you!? You're the fucking devil!"

----

"Yeah, no shit I'm the fucking Devil. That's exactly why I'm your best bet is this shithole. No one is gonna fuck with me. Or whoever is under my care." He was getting exasperated, and his patience was already Paper thin.

"You don't know shit about this place. All your angelic powers are gone cuz you're not a fucking Angel anymore. You don't even know what you can do as a sinner yet. And that means you're more vulnerable than you've ever been in your entire existence. Your soul? It ain't going back up, that's for sure. You're already here. Hell is forever, I think Charlie told me you said. So either you spend that forever with the best fucking security anyone in this place could possibly get, or you spend forever getting passed around and fucked and killed by randos."

----

Yikes. Someone was grouchy. Adam personally thought Lucifer didn't have the right to act all pissy about this. Adam was the one who got stabbed to death by a psycho! And now he was stripped of his halo and forced to rely on his oldest enemy for survival.

And maybe Adam would have still decided to try to fight if he hadn't already learned his powers were gone. If he hadn't already spent a half hour hopping around like an idiot trying to take flight with clipped wings.

That was another thing. Adam didn't know if Lucifer already knew this but… Well, it was a helluva lot harder to escape angry sinners without his wings. It wasn't like he'd been doing much cardio in heaven.

He was fucked over either way. But at least Lucifer was offering him some say in how he was getting fucked over. A chance to set terms or whatever. And quite frankly Adam didn't relish the idea of being literally fucked by randos. They'd do worse to him, he was sure, not only in the name of revenge but also whatever sick shit these freaks got off on.

"Fine." He bit out through grit teeth. "I'll do it. I'll make a fucking deal with you and play nice for your kid and all her little friends." He leaned closer to Lucifer. "Happy? You've finally dragged all three of us down here with you."

----

"Oh, yes. Very." Lucifer grinned. Fucking FINALLY. While his mind was now very quickly wandering onto Other ways to complete the set, he knew he needed to get the contract done Before all that. Man it'd been a while since he'd drawn up any sort of contract. He'd been more than out of the game for what felt like eons.

But he snapped his fingers and a golden scroll manifested, a bright red pen with it, filled with a red ink that matched the rest of the writing on the scroll. "You can read it, but I don't think you have the patience~ But I am a man of my word. No secret clauses or anything like that. Just what we've already verbally agreed on, but on paper."

----

Adam gave Lucifer a deadpan look.

"Yeah, I'm sure there's nothing weird hidden in the fucking fine print. Do you even know the shit they say about you up there, man?" Still, that didn't go entirely against what he knew of Lucifer. In all of their dealings during his tenure as ambassador to hell, Lucifer had been for the most part honest and straightforward. Adam had always assumed it was because Lucifer didn't like the sinners anymore then he did.

He squinted at the scroll. It wasn't that long and yet he couldn't make himself focus on it for more than a quick skim through. He tried. But after everything he'd been through in such a short amount of time, his hands were shaking with nervous energy and the words just wouldn't stick in his head. It was too short for Lucifer to have hidden anything, right?

… Right.

Adam took the pen and tried to will his hand to stop shaking. He felt sick. No matter what anyone might say about his character, Adam had always been loyal to heaven and to the angels. This was a betrayal that left even someone as self-centered as him grappling with the unfamiliar feeling of guilt.

He'd hated Vaggie so much for betraying them - for betraying him - and yet he was now doing something far worse. A deal with the most hated being in creation.

"… I'm gonna sign it." Adam closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing. "I just need a second."

----

"I'm sure I can guess." Lucifer didn't like Heaven and had no doubt they spoke hatefully of him if ever he did come up. Probably mostly lies, honestly. He stood up and walked back around the couch to stand in front of Adam, waiting. Oh, he was sure it wouldn't be easy.

"Yeah, sure, take your time. I got all day." Well, since things were winding down a bit, maybe he could try being at least a little bit of a host. "Hungry? Thirsty? I can get you something."

----

Adam's feathers ruffled up. He cracked open one eye and gave Lucifer a dirty look.

"If I even think about food I'm gonna blow chunks all over your ugly carpeting." Adam half-threatened, half-warned. "Check back in after I've finished committing the ultimate sin, 'kay?"

----

Lucifer held his hands up is a dismissive manner. "Okay, okay fine. No food, got it." He walked back to the chair he sat in earlier and sank down, eyes still trained on Adam.

Until he felt his phone go off and saw a text from Charlie. Aw, his wonderful daughter was checking in on him! His demeanor drastically and obviously changed to being much more chipper and happy as he texted back. Just a little update that they'd come to an agreement and now he was just waiting for him to sign the contract! They wouldn't immediately head back to the hotel though. He wanted Charlie to have enough time to prep things after all! At least that was the reason he was giving her.

----

It was a relief when Lucifer finally found something else to stare at. Adam watched him long enough to see his sudden change in demeanor- the ex-angel looked away with a scowl. Was he texting a girlfriend or something? Adam wouldn't be surprised if someone like Lucifer had already moved on from Lilith.

Driven by his own petty need to at least make this less of a pleasant memory for future Lucifer, Adam took his chance to sign the contract while the devil was distracted. He made sure that his handwriting was sloppy and ugly too. He even considered dropping the pen in the couch cushions before deciding to drop it on the floor by his feet instead.

"Done." Adam watched the contract instead of the devil. He sort of expected it to burst into flames so he made sure to lean back as far as he could without hurting his wings. "What now?"

---End Part 1---

[aurorasandsad-prose]

The downside of being an adult and living on your own is missing out on really small things. Like not having peanuts in winters because I don't have my mum peeling them for me. Not eating corn because I no longer have a grandpa who would separate the kernels for me. Not getting to listen to the news when I go around the house because god forbid my father misses a single second of it. And I could do all of this myself but I don't want to.

[wineanduhcrucifix]

no more purity.

[roetrolls]

Two things on my brain

Love of Nymira. Love of Tess.

[roboyomo]

slowly introducing you guysies to more and more of my ocs aka little beasts. and today you are getting Artemis (or Sora) :] she is also part of the Deadly Seven Sins crew like Kenix (Lust), Azrael (Envy), Aridam (Pride) and etc. amongst the seven, her sin is Sloth

remember when i mentioned in a post that Kenix has a daughter (not a biological one obviously)? yea this is her. this ice magical girl beast and creature who is so awfully :3 is the daughter of the mentally insane god of time (the twin gods since ken is right there but you get what i mean)

[gorillaxyz]

im an obsessive weirdo rocks back and forth Did i make her smile Did i make her smile Did i make her smile

[anothermonikan]

Have I told you guys about the fucked up dreams I've been having recently? I've been having some fucked up dreams lately. yeah <3

[phagodyke]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[cuteniaarts]

Little Water Lily

[grimmshood]

i hate fake bitches *ten seconds* me and the bestie image but its "i hate the idea of marriage and it kind of scares the shit out of me!!!!!" *ten seconds later* these characters are my wives and marriwd to me

[meringuejellyfish]

people who believe that modern precure is “falling off” are kind of insane i think