#i will wake up tomorrow and continue to yearn and think and wonder

[kaurwreck]

Paradoxes Nothing in the world is as soft, as weak, as water; nothing else can wear away the hard, the strong, and remain unaltered. Soft overcomes hard, weak overcomes strong. Everybody knows it, nobody uses the knowledge. So the wise say: By bearing common defilements you become a sacrificer at the altar of earth; by bearing common evils you become a lord of the world. Right words sound wrong. [Ch. 78 of Tao Te Ching, ascribed to Lao Tzu; English version by Ursual K. Le Guin]

I'm water like how raging rivers are water, so I also find solace and praxis in Ch. 63 (excerpted from the same English version as above):

Consider Beginnings Do without doing. Act without action. Savor the flavorless. Treat the small as large, the few as many. Meet injury with the power of goodness. Study the hard while it's easy. Do big things while they're small. The hardest jobs in the world start out easy, the great affairs of the world start small. So the wise soul, by never dealing with great things, gets great things done. Now, since taking things too lightly makes them worthless, and taking things too easy makes them hard, the wise soul, by treating the easy as hard, doesn't find anything hard.

I'd recommend the entire Tao Te Ching, actually, for self cultivating mettle, but if nothing else, the above is presently, as ever, salient.

If you'd like something more literally applicable, however —

Living With Change When the government's dull and confused, the people are placid. When the government's sharp and keen, the people are discontented. Alas! misery lies under happiness, and happiness sits on misery, alas! Who knows where it will end? Nothing is certain. The normal changes into the monstrous, the fortunate into the unfortunate, and our bewilderment goes on and on. And so the wise shape without cutting, square without sawing, true without forcing. They are the light that does not shine.

(In other words, according to Ursula K. Le Guin's footnote to the above Ch. 58, Taoists gain their ends without the use of means.)

I won't promise it'll be okay, regardless of what happens over the next few days, but I can promise the outcome is navigable.

[luviree]

his little princess (NSFW hyunjin x fem!reader ff)

warning this ff will include dark concepts such as noncon, dubcon, and kidnapping. minors do not interact. if you are uncomfortable with dark fiction, do not interact.

tags: 18+, hyunjin x fem!reader, smut, noncon/dubcon, kidnapping, bondage, reader is a virgin, reader tastes her own cum

a/n: first ff, ik it’s shit I was think about this for a while and had to get it off my chest, please ignore any errors

“Wake up, princess.” you saw a masculine figure standing over you, with a menacing smile. you tried to speak but there was a rag stuffed in your mouth. he took off your pants. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long..” He lowered his body to the floor. “You belong to me now.” his choice of words made you very uncomfortable and feel vulnerable, you just wanted to go home. he grabbed a rope and tied your hands together, tight.

“Need anything, princess?” you nodded your head. “I’ll be right back.” as soon as he left the room, you mapped out your surroundings. you were in what seemed to be a master bedroom. there’s a window near the dresser. you guess you’re on the second floor because it’s taking him a while to come back. the room is very clean, but you cannot find something to assist you in breaking free from your restraints. your only hope is tugging at the rope bounding your wrists until it loosens. 

the man comes back with a glass of water. he finally removes the cloth from your mouth and you feel as a part of you has been restored. “who are you?” you look into his eyes. you’ve never seen him before. 

“my name is hyunjin, but it’s daddy to you.” you wondered why he’d want a random stranger who didn’t even know him to call him that. you finished drinking the water and you looked in hyunjin’s eyes for an explanation of why he kidnapped you. “oh, you’re probably wondering when I’ll let you go,” he smiled. “never. once I’m done having my fun with you, you won’t care about going home, princess.” what in the actual fuck, you thought. he stuffed the rag back in your mouth and got up. 

hyunjin hauled you over his shoulders and laid you on the bed. you were shaking with fear. “spread your legs.” you slowly started to spread your legs but he wasn’t satisfied with that. he grabbed your legs roughly and forced them apart. his aggressiveness made you even more scared. “Come on baby, daddy doesn’t like to be played around with.” he slid his hand into your panties and toyed around with your clit. you couldn’t control your arousal and you threw your head back. “Hm, you like that?” he pushed a finger into your pussy. it wasn’t long before you came all over his hand. he stuck his cum covered fingers in his mouth and tasted your liquids. “you’re sweet.” 

hyunjin took off your panties and threw them off to the side. you could see his very obvious erection. you really didn’t want to have sex with him, but your body didn’t agree with you, every slight touch made your body yearn for more. “are you ready for me? I’ll make sure your very first is the best you ever will have.” he unbuckled his belt and got rid of his pants and his boxers. he placed his tip at your entrance. he noticed how squeamish you got when he did. so he teased your overly sensitive pussy with his tip, making you twitch with pleasure. this continued for a while until he finally pushed his full length into your hole making you scream. 

hyunjin thrusted in and out of you like there was no tomorrow. he didn’t slow down nor show you any mercy. “ah- fuck, you feel so good.” you were drowning in pleasure, it felt way too good. “who owns you princess?” he took out the rag out of your mouth once again. 

“y-you do..” he sped up. 

“no that’s not right,” he looked at you, hair messy, mouth drooling. “who owns you?.” the feeling of his cock pumping inside you made it hard for you to even think.

“y-you do, d-daddy..” even after that, he didn’t slow down. you were close to orgasm when he pulled out. you looked at him confused. 

“baby, I want to see beg for it.” he smirked at you.

“p-please c-cock..” you mumbled out, now that he got you so worked up you wanted it so bad. he smiled and pushed himself back in. you couldn’t control your moans. which each thrust, orgasm became closer. before you could even open up your mouth to speak. hyunjin and you both came together . 

“shit, that felt good..” he pulled out, watching your cum spill out of your abused pussy. “don’t you want me to completely own you, make you mine?” you shook your head.

“n-no.. I can’t.” he grins at you. 

“then it’s time for round two.” he said while stroking your thigh.

[lem0nshark-writes]

"The City of Ruins"

Thranduil x Male (elf) Reader

Word count: 2344 Summary: Lost lovers reunite 🌙☄

Warnings: angst at first then fluff w/ smut later on, the begining of smut is marked tho so don't worry, reader's a bottom

🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄🌙 ☄

After the battle for Erebor you stayed behind in the city of Dale, it wasn't on your own accord, no. If it were up to you you would have returned to Mirkwood with your king, but you were banished from your home.

Such events came to be because you defied your king's orders to fall back and leave the dwarves to deal with orcs on their own. But you weren't gonna let your friends die, you weren't gonna let them fight on their own, even if it meant going against your king's will.

So you stayed behind, betrayed look on your king's face coming to haunt you more often than you'd like to admit. But you knew you did the right thing.

Many moons passed since the battle and you managed to fix yourself a home, it wasn't much, just a lower floor with a fireplace and a spot to lay on, but it's all you could muster up from the city in ruins.

You took it upon yourself to slowly clean and build around yourself, salvaging what you can of the city. And short trips to Laketown took care of your need for food and liquids.

It was a decent life, but terribly horribly lonely.

Your only friend being your thoughts and a bittersweet longing for your rín meleth*.

(*crowned love)

You feelings didn't come as surprise to you, they've been lingering for a while now but you've never acted on them, fearing he wouldn't feel the same and you'd cross a line. And besides, you were just a regular elf, no royalty, why would you ever be a match for him.

Dark stormy clouds gathered around the mountain and the city of Dale, heavy rain moments from being released.

You rushed to your small home in the heart of the city, arms full of twigs and branches, racing the time against the rain. And you made it in in the last second because just as you closed the door the sky came crashing down in big droplets.

You let out a sigh of relief and made your way to the fireplace, placing the newbrought wood at the side of it and started the night's fire. After making sure it's well lit and strong, you moved the remaining wood on the side for later.

You got up and took off unnecessary layers of clothes and your boots as the room started to fill up with warmth, setting them on their spot near the door.

Fixing your hair up in a messy bun you sat down on your bed and just as your were about to lay down for your daily rest, an unexpected knock on the door broke the comfortable silence mixed in with the crackling of the fire.

You looked up at the door and slowly got up, wondering who could it be as no guests announced themselves for the following days.

Creaking the door open your eyes widened in surprise. There in front of you, soaked in rain head to toe, stood none other than your ex king.

Your shock was soon pushed away by reminiscence of betrayal and old memories that came flooding your thoughts.

"How could you do that to me?.." pained expression pushed it's way through on kings face, trying to overcome the angry one that he tried so hard to keep.

"I already told you, but I guess you've gone deaf on your ears, I wouldn't and I won't let my friends die because you were too much of a coward to fight!" you started slow and calm but by the end of the sentence got louder and angrier, fire of the old argument rekindling fast.

"I am no coward! I did that to save the lives of our people! To save your life!" he growled back.

Anger gushed through your body but you said nothing, staring at his icy blue eyes.

"You might be-You maybe were my king, but my friends' lives are more important than your orders," you turned away, walking deeper into the house.

Thranduil followed, doors closing after him, and looked around a bit, feeling bad seeing how you lived since he threw you out of your home.

"You're so stubborn.." he sighed heavily, "What if something happened to you? What would I do then? What would I do without you??"

You turned around slightly and looked over at him. Worry of past events and what-ifs ridden across his face mixing with anger towards your stubbornness.

"You did just fine.." you muttered almost inaudibly, looking back away to hide your tears, old feelings starting to become too much.

He looked at you in shock for a few moments before regaining his ability to speak, "What… You think I enjoyed banishing you?? You think I enjoyed returning home without you and spending months an months with you nowhere in sight?? You think I like that?? .. When people ask me where you are?? .. Not seeing your face ever day??…"

"You think my soul isn't tearing into pieces without my meleth.." he looked at you, sadness twisting his face into a pained expression.

Your eyes widened at the last part and you turned around swiftly, standing there with your mouth agape for a few moments before speaking, " . . . Your meleth?.."

Thranduil's eyes widened a bit as well after he realized what he had said but then closed slowly as his expression melted into one of saddened agreement.

"You loved me?.." you asked softly.

He nodded, ". . . I still do.."

"Why didn't you say anything?.." you took a few steps towards the taller male, closing the gap between you two almost completely, and searched his eyes with your own.

"I feared you wouldn't feel the same.. and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you if that were true.." he finally gazed back at you.

"Silly king," you muttered through a slight smile forming on your face, " I loved you for hundreds of years, and I still do," you took his hands in yours and held them to your chest.

At your words his face lit up like forest in spring waking up from a long winter dream and he leaned I swiftly, locking his lips with yours, something he's been yearning to do for so long.

Without thinking you returned the kiss, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace and he did the same, his strong arms washing away all the worries and making you feel like the whole world around you disappeared.

"Return home with me my meleth, rule as a king by my side, let's never part again," he whispered into your neck.

Your lips spread into a warm smile as you gazed upon his eyes, "I'd like that very much."

((smut continuation from here on))

The two of you settled down on a crapet by the fireplace, setting your journey back to Mirkwood for tomorrow, when the storm hopefully calms down.

You forced the king to take off the outer layer of his clothes to put to dry by the fire and he undid his wet hair too, allowing it to dry easier on the warm air.

The two of you rested in each other's arms for a while, letting the fire warm you both up as you chatted exchanging some old stories and talks of your lingering feelings.

He smiled down at you, arms wrapped around your body as you rested your back against his chest. You looked up at him, returning the smile, "What?"

"Nothing. I just am wondering why we didn't confess sooner," he placed a warm kiss onto your jaw.

"Me too," your eyes instantly closed as he did that, "I guess we are two completely oblivious idiots," you added with a chuckle.

He let out a chuckle as well, "That we are." He grinned and kissed you deepy, passion spilling out from his lips.

You smiled into the kiss and returned just as passionately, cupping his cheeks in the process.

The bigger elf moved slightly, allowing your bodies to face each other, before wrapping his arms around you again.

The two of your kept on kissing, the kiss turning from slow and passionate to yearning and with a lot more tongue.

His hands started roaming your body and soon enough your vest was off, and shortly after your shirt too.

At the motion you parted your kiss and the two of you exchanged a knowing look. And just as quickly his lips were back on yours and your hands now undoing his top.

Once you won the battle with his shirt he moved his lips to your neck, tracing kisses and licks before the same turned into bites and sucks, leaving hickeys behind that ended up littering your neck and your chest.

You moaned on his actions, running your fingers through his hair and giving it a gentle thug on each bite he left on your soft skin.

He moved his attention to your lower stomach, leaving warm kisses there as he slipt your pants off with a single swift move.

You looked up at him, the two of you locking eyes, as you bit your lower lip. His gaze trailed around your body, taking in every bit of it, "Y/n.. you're beautiful.." he said, lust-laced desire dripping off his words.

The tone he spoke in made you shiver under his touch. He gave you a deep kiss and then proceeded to take his pants off too and soon enough both of yours undergarments followed.

He laid you down and got on top of you, kissing you deeply once again.

Your eyes stayed locked with his abs and, well, lower parts, being slightly taken aback by how good he looks.

He quickly caught up on your thoughts and smirked, making you in return blush like mad.

"Like what you see?" Thranduil smirked at his smaller lover who by the looks of it was about to burst into flames from the redness his cheeks reached caused by his words and that smug smirk Thranduil proudly wore.

He chuckled at his lover's sudden shyness and let his hand trail to his already errect memeber.

You gasped softly at the feel of his fingers on you and your eyes closed from pleasure, hand rushing to your mouth to silent the escaping moans.

Thranduil's hand reached for yours and moved it from your mouth, pinning it above your head, "I like your moans, don't hide them," he smirked and left kisses across your yaw and neck once again, as his hand worked magic bringing you all the way to the edge before abruptly stopping.

You looked up at him in wonder, unpleased and yearning for the pleasure to come back. He smirked softly at you and pulled you by your thighs closer to himself and his face went down.

You looked up at what he was up to and gasped in pleasure when you felt his slick tongue move against your hole. You fell back and your eyes rolled in sweetness as his tongue made it's way into you. It twisted and turned inside you, sending waves of pleasure all throughout your body, his hands squeezing your butt cheeks as they held onto them.

Once again you were on the edge of an orgasm and once again he pulled away just as you were about to reach it.

You whined slightly this time, pouting at his repeated action.

"Shhhhhh you'll like what comes next better-," he smirked at you and sat himself up again, grabbing at the sides of your thighs as he positioned himself at your now wet entrance.

You propped yourself up just enough to reach his lips and kiss him deeply, which he gladly returned, one of his hands reaching up to cup your cheek.

"Ready?" he smiled at you warmly as you two held your faces close to one another. You gave him a soft nod, bracing yourself for what's about to come.

He slowly started pushing in, giving you enough time in-between each little push to adjust to him in you, moans rolling off your tongue along with rugged breaths.

Once he was all the way inside you he kissed you deeply, distracting you from any lingering pain till it all melted away into burning pleasure.

Holding at your sides he slowly started moving his hips pushing his big length in and out of you, at first slowly before picking up the pace. Moans streamed out of both of your mouths mixed up with muffled breathing between kisses.

"Ahhhh hhhhhngggg…" moans left your mouth one after the other as he picked up the pace even more, hand back on your ass and squeezing it.

Your finger nails raked his back in pleasure causing him to moan your name out between paced breaths, "Y/n… ahhh-."

You moved your lips to his neck, leaving the tall elf an even bigger moaning mess as you left hickey upon hickey against his skin.

He slapped your ass in the moment as he pushed in even deeper, reaching that sweet sweet spot, making you moan his name out even louder than before. He picked up on that and started hitting that spot repeatedly with even greater strength making you melt completely underneath him.

He could tell you were very close and so was he, and with a few more strong thrusts both of you came hard, moaning each other's names and spilling, you on his and yours stomach and him inside of you.

Panting he brought himslef down and placed a loving kiss on your lips, exhausted with pleasure and still riding your orgasm you returned.

He gently pulled out and plopped down next to you, pulling you close into his warm embrace.

You two stayed like that for a while, hugging and unable to reach your breaths.

Once your breath returned to your lungs you snuggled up into his chest and kissed his yaw, "I love you my king."

He smiled down at you and hugged you tighter, placing a long kiss onto your lips, "I love you too meleth."

[xutokawa]

I really love your s/o finding scratch marks, so I was wondering if you can do one for Bokuto & Hinata- if not Hinata you can do Akaashi uwu please crush my soul ~🥝

pairings: akaashi x reader, hinata x reader

genre(s): fluff to angst, cheating

warnings: langauge, cheating

wc: 2.4k

» masterlist

a/n: anon!! tysm for this request hehe. sorry it took so long to write :( but I hope you enjoy!! since i already wrote one for bokuto, it’s just hinata and akaashi in this one! also tysm guys for 400 followers!?!!??! i def don’t deserve it since i barely post oops but i still can’t be grateful enough for your support!

atsumu and oikawa ver.

osamu and iwazumi ver.

kuroo and sakusa ver.

suna and bokuto ver.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Akaashi

Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you checked your appearance in the mirror. 

“How do I look?” you teasingly asked your boyfriend. Looking up from his phone, his face immediately formed into a smile.

“Ethereal,” Akaashi replied, taking in your appearance. You giggle as you walked over to where he was sitting on your shared bed, wrapping your arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest. His scent filled your nostrils as you felt his hand reach up to smooth your hair. Warmth spread through your body. 

“You ready to go then?” Akaashi asked you.

“Ready when you are,” you replied, tilting your head to meet his gaze. His eyes filled with adoration.

“Let’s go then.”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The two of you were seated in a nice cafe, hunger satiated as the two of you talked. Your conversations were filled with smiles and laughter. Yet Akaashi’s smiles never seemed to truly reach his eyes. How could they when nothing but guilt filled his mind, when evidence of a drunken escapade was marked on his body?

Akaashi had noticed your intense gaze on his neck, shifting uncomfortably. Panic and dread rose to his throat at the thought of there being a hickey on his neck from the night before. Despite checking in the mirror countless times, he still couldn’t help but feel panicked at the thought of missing one.

“Is everything okay, y/n?” Akaashi tentatively asked, rubbing his hand over his neck. Snapped out of your trance, you meet his eyes before laughing it off.

“Yeah, just zoning out,” you tried to laugh off. You couldn’t shake it from your head. That couldn’t have been a hickey. Even if it was, Akaashi wouldn’t be so careless to not cover it, right? Unless he wanted you to see it. Tears pricked at your eyes. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom, not wanting Akaashi to see your tears. 

As soon as you left his sight, Akaashi hurriedly checked his camera on his phone to see what you were staring at. Sure enough, a purple splotch was peeking out from underneath his shirt. Akaashi cursed as he wracked his mind with what to do. All he could come up with was pulling his shirt collar to one side.

His heart hammered in his chest. Would you break up with him when you came out of the bathroom? He felt his heart crumble at the thought of you leaving him. Akaashi was hoping he would eventually forget about his mistake and move on with his life with you. He just wanted to move onto the moment he got down on one knee, the moment the two of you would buy a house for the first time, the moment you held your children in your arms. He just needed to get past this moment.

He knew as soon as he saw you walk out of the bathroom. Your red eyes and blotchy cheeks gave it away. You saw, and now you knew how shitty of a person he was.

Silence enveloped the two of you as you sat back down.

“So you saw,” Akaashi confirmed. All you could do was nod in response.

“Wh-what do you want to do now?” Akaashi choked out. He truly didn’t want to lose you. It was like living in a nightmare, but the most he could do now was respect your wishes.

“I-” you started off, taking a breath before continuing, “I want to go back to the apartment.”

Akaashi silently nodded in understanding before gathering his things and leaving to pay. You buried your face in your hands, not fully grasping the situation at hand. Why was he acting so guilty? This was Akaashi, your boyfriend since your third year at high school. Never once did you doubt the love you held for each other during your relationship. 

“C’mon, y/n, let’s go,” Akaashi said, tentatively reaching his hand out to you. You debated whether or not you should take it, still unsure of everything going on. Finally, you gave him, letting his long fingers intertwined with yours. You almost wanted to laugh at how easily your unease washed away at his touch, how you immediately felt comforted, when the man who made you feel this way had traces of another on his skin. 

The two of you drove in silence, neither one of you sure of what to say in this situation. Confusion swarmed Akaashi’s mind. You obviously saw the hickey on his neck, yet you weren’t lashing out, demanding to break up with him. Yet he could see you were visibly troubled, your history and past with him getting in the way of your rationality. Guilt and shame pooled in Akaashi’s stomach. He shouldn’t be using his familiarity with you as a way to keep you with him. He was unfaithful, and deserved all the consequences. He knew that, no matter how heart wrenching it was to have you leave him.

Silence continued to envelop the two of you as you walked up to your shared apartment. As soon as you entered the threshold of your home, Akaashi attempted to start some sort of conversation.

“Y/n, I think we need-” Akaashi attempted to start.

“Baby, I’m really tired, can this wait till after I take a nap,” you cut him off. Maybe if you continued to pretend you saw nothing, that this was just another day, everything would be okay. You and Akaashi would be okay.

“You can’t just ignore what just happened, y/n!” Akaashi reasoned. Your detachment from the situation honestly scared him a bit. He would’ve expected you to demand him to move out, maybe even a smack across the face, but your reaction was unexpected and unsettling.

“Nothing’s wrong, Akaashi,” you said, tears beginning to pool, “I still love you, and you love me, right?” 

“Y/n-” Akaashi started, “of course I love you, which is why I can’t stand to see you like this! I fucking cheated on you! I don’t deserve your love! You shouldn’t be forgiving me! I don’t deserve you anymore!”

Tears began streaming down your face at his words.

“No, no no no, Akaashi, no! We’re supposed to be together! You wouldn’t hurt me like that, Akaashi, you love me too much to do that to me!” You tried to reason. Deep down, you knew. Even if the two of you somehow got past this moment, new insecurities from this moment would arise. Your relationship would never be the same.

“Y/n! Get it through your fucking head! I cheated on you! I’m a fucking scumbag who forgot how fucking amazing you are! I’m the asshole here! You can’t just forgive me like this! How are you going to forgive me when I’m never going to forgive myself?!” Akaashi’s voice broke at the end.

“Akaashi, stop it! There’s no proof!” You yelled back, not wanting reality to hit. Your eyes widened when Akaashi moved to pull his shirt over his head.

“Is this proof enough?” Akaashi started, “What will it take for you to realize? Did you want me to call them up? Have them tell you? Y/n, please, don’t put yourself through this! Fucking wake up and realize!”

You collapsed to the ground, sobbing as you took in his appearance. Hickeys littered his neck and chest, red scratches on his shoulders. It finally hit you. Akaashi cheated on you. He left you for another. 

“Why? Why did you have to ruin this, Akaashi!” you yelled, “was this not enough?”

“I don’t know, y/n,” Akaashi began breaking down, “I regret all of it. I would give anything to turn the clock back, but I can’t! This is reality, and we both have to face it whether we like it or not!”

Pain flared in Akaashi’s chest as your eyes met his. He watched as the love you held for him slowly dissolved from your eyes. His heart fell into pieces as you walked into your shared bedroom, only to emerge moments later with a small duffle bag. He recognized it. It was the duffle bag you used when the two of you took trips. You were leaving.

Tears freely flowed down Akaashi’s face as you wordlessly brushed past him, nothing sounding in the room except your hiccups. 

“Y/n,” Akaashi started, “where are you going?”

“Away,” you replied, giving no other explanation. The coldness and sadness in your voice sent knives into Akaashi’s heart, but it’s what he deserved. He couldn’t beg for your love again, or have the right to yearn for your warm embrace. He’s the one who ruined everything, so Akaashi could do nothing but helplessly watch you walk away from him, leaving him alone in a cold apartment.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Hinata

“Y/n~” Your boyfriend whined, plopping his head into your lap. Your hand instinctively went to comb through his orange hair.

“What’s up?” You replied, not looking up from your phone screen. Your eyes finally met his, however, when he pushed away your hands, forcing you to look at him. One look at his pleading eyes was all it took for your heart to melt.

“Can we please go out today? The weather looks so nice,” Hinata pleaded, “Don’t you want to go to the beach?”

“But I just want to watch Netflix,” you whined.

“C’mon, baby. Please?” Hinata looked at you, bottom lip sticking out, “Let’s go outside and enjoy the sun! We can buy ice cream!”

You hesitated for a second.

“Ice cream and smoothies,” you said, “and we go to the mall tomorrow.”

Hinata sent you the brightest smile.

“Deal!”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“Ugh, y/n, I love you so much,” Hinata mumbled out around a mouthful of ice cream. Giggling, you wiped the corner of his mouth.

“I love you too, baby,” you cooed back, heart swelling at the sight of his smile. Hinata didn’t understand how you still managed to give him butterflies after five years of dating, but he wasn’t complaining. The way your eyes crinkled and your nose scrunched when you laughed made him feel warm inside, and he wouldn’t trade you for the world.

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life like this with you,” you said, eyes shining with adoration as you looked at your boyfriend. The amount of love you held for the spiker in front of you was unexplainable. All you knew is he made you feel like you were on top of the world, the only thing that mattered to him.

Gasping dramatically, Hinata replied, “That’s insane, because I’ve been thinking that too!”

“Stop teasing me,” you laughed off. Hinata’s chuckles blended with yours. The spiker’s joy was cut off as guilt began rising in his stomach. Of course he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his everything, the reason he felt like he could breathe easier, the reason everything in his world was so bright. But he knew he wasn’t faithful during your relationship. Hinata didn’t even know how it happened. All he remembered was waking up in a hotel room, his legs tangled with another’s. He remembered the feeling of his stomach plummeting to his feet once he saw the mangled marks on his back.

Hinata was pulled out of his thoughts by your voice.

“Is that Bokuto?” You questioned, gaze pointed at the sandy beach. Sure enough, the wing spiker along with Atsumu were there, standing on opposite sides of a volleyball net.

“Yeah, Kageyama and Hoshiumi are there too!” Hinata excitedly pointed out, already walking towards the volleyball match. You recognized a couple of other players standing around the area.

Hinata bounded towards them, yelling out, asking if he could join. You laughed as you watched him immediately settle into a disagreement with Kageyama before he came running back towards you.

“Y/n!” Hinata panted out, “I know this was supposed to be a date, but do you mind if I play a couple matches?”

You giggled as you saw the excitement shining in his eyes. 

“It’s no problem, I’ll just go shopping around the boardwalk! Call me when you’re done, but don’t play for too long,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Yes! You’re the best! I love you,” Hinata said as he enveloped you in a hug before taking his shirt off and running back to the volleyball net. Your eyes immediately fell on his shoulders. 

“Shoyo, what’s on your back?”

Hinata stopped in his tracks as his stomach fell to his feet. He had completely forgotten about the evidence of his infidelity on his back. The prospect of playing beach volleyball with his friends overtook his rationality, and now he was paying the price for it. He whipped around, eyes now wide, panic replacing the excitement that was there moments before. The hurt swimming in your eyes was enough to make his heart shatter.

“Y/n, I-” Hinata breathed out, unable to form a complete sentence. The spiker felt his knees go weak as he watched you turn around and walk away from him, shoulders shaking. It wasn’t until he heard you say, ‘I won’t be going back to the apartment tonight, don’t wait up’ that he scrambled for his shirt, shoving it over his head as he attempted to catch up to you.

“Y/n, please wait! Let me explain-” Hinata ran after you. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide, when you turned around. Nothing but hurt blazed in your eyes as you looked him in the eyes.

“Explain what, Hinata? Did you want to go into detail about how you fucked someone else? Was simply cheating on me not enough? You don’t get to hurt me more than you already have,” you spewed back at him, venom laced in your words. Hinata’s face crumpled into sobs.

“No, y/n, that’s not it at all. I never wanted to hurt you, not ever! I’m so pathetic! I can’t even remember how it happened. It never should have happened, I can’t lose you like this,” Hinata sobbed, falling to his knees at your feet. The thought of losing you sent Hinata’s mind into a panic. His hands scrambled to find yours, clasping to them for dear life. You scoffed at his actions.

“Get up,” you said, looking away from his figure. Hinata hopefully looked up, hoping you would give him the chance to make it up to you. His hopes were shattered, however, when he met your eyes. Instead of the care and affection he was hoping to see, he was met with nothing but embarrassment and putrid hate.

“You’re making a scene. People are staring,” you said, looking around you, “I told you, I’m not going back to the apartment tonight. I’ll grab my stuff later.”

“I’m sorry,” Hinata choked out, “I’m so sorry for everything. Please, you deserve better. Someone who won’t forget what he has in front of him. Someone who will cradle your heart and give you everything you deserve. I love you, y/n. I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I could believe you when you say ‘I love you’, but we both know it’s not true at this point. No loving boyfriend would cheat,” you said lowly, energy drained from the situation.

“No, y/n. Please, if anything, trust that I love you with all of my being, and I would do anything to try and fix this. I can’t imagine my life without you, let me fix this!” Hinata sobbed.

“You should’ve thought about that before you ruined everything,” you said as you looked into his eyes. Tears pooled in both of your eyes. The hurt and regret was evident on the spiker’s face, but you couldn’t give in.

“Goodbye, Hinata.”

[seimeinotaka]

Rêverie (An OberonXGudako fic)

MASSIVE LOSTBELT 6 SPOILERS INCLUDING OBERON'S PROFILE AND BOND CE

Summary: Oberon has been unexpectedly summoned to Chaldea. He wonders why he is even there as he reminisces what happened in Avalon Le Fae. But it seems Ritsuka isn't leaving him alone, much to his annoyance.

Thanks to jellyfishy for beta-reading this!

Once again, the story has major spoilers for LB6, Oberon's profile and Bond CE, as well as important plot points of Solomon, LB1 and LB5.

There's implied one-sided love, mentions of heavy topics such as loss, and mentions of deceased characters.

"Master, Master, you've gotten better at this!"

"Thank you, Gogh! I've been practicing a lot using the tips you and Oui gave me. Even Jeanne Alter praised my background, hehe!"

"Hey, I said it was passable. Pas-sa-ble!"

Ritsuka Fujimaru has been drawing something in the cafeteria, surrounded by many servants that come and go. No one asks what she is doing, they all seem to know or if they don’t, they don’t bother to ask.

It is so bothersome. Annoying.

So many people surrounding her, like an ultraviolet lamp that attracts all the bugs. Never mind that they end up getting zapped the moment they ever dare to touch it.

The people, the sound, the merriment, it all annoys Oberon, who only watches in silence as he eats some ice cream with melon.

To be able to smile like that, even after discarding all of those stories...Oberon doesn't hide a crooked smile. In the end, the lostbelts are no more than faint dreams doomed to end, forgotten by the winners, the panhuman history citizens. Ritsuka Fujimaru isn't different. For her, it's like reading the doujin the swimsuit berserker is making. Once the pages are closed, the story ends and it ceases to exist. She can choose to forget.

Truly detestable.

-

Oberon stares and then walks away, just as Ritsuka lifts her face. She looks around, the feeling of being watched faintly breaking her concentration.

But in the end he doesn't say a word as he leaves.

-

“Hey, you keep looking at Master!” Jeanne Alter slams her hands on the table where Oberon is sitting. Said Master is working again, too enthralled talking with Gogh to notice Jeanne Alter slipping away to talk to him.

“Does it bother if I do?” He gives her a crooked smile as she huffs and scowls. Though of course her face turns slightly pink.

“Tch, of course not! It's just your stare is getting on my nerves! Wouldn't you get distracted if someone is looking at you intensely?”

“I am a creation, not a creator. I wouldn't understand what you're saying. Besides, I wasn’t looking at her or you anyway,” he says mockingly.

“Hmph, whatever you say. Leave when Master is drawing, what she is doing is very important and I won't let you make it messy.”

“Hah, a page of your little comic? As if you need a lot of care. But fret not, I am certain that with your keen insight and guidance it will be something so memorable, up to the level of the famous writers here in Chaldea.”

“You bug...Bring it, I will burn you to a crisp! Moths do like fire, don't they? Surely you will feel at home then!” Jeanne Alter laughs. “I'll let you know that it is something so impressive that it would make you cry, if you're capable of that anyway.”

Though her Saint Graph right now is one of a Berserker, it seems the insight of the Avenger still exists deep within. After all, only those who are similar can recognize each other. Fake recognizes fake. Emptiness recognizes emptiness. Hate can only recognize hate.

Though come to think about it, Ritsuka has always been writing, he noticed she kept a small book on her, during quiet times. Perhaps a diary of sorts. It wouldn’t be surprising, to record everything she has experienced, as the writer of the winning history.

-

When we die, we'll become like those stories. Our lives are stories that might be discussed and forgotten, so it's not that different from your midsummer night dream.

A dream you forget once you wake up from your slumber.

“You're a tsundere,” Ritsuka says flatly as she rests her chin on her hand. She even dares to give Oberon a shrug and a smile, as if she can tell the truth between the lies.

“Ah, you're annoying.”

“That's exactly what I'm talking about, hehe!”

An obnoxious smile continues to be on her face, and he simply looks at her with unveiled disgust and apathy.

“Why am I even here?”

“Well, you answered the call, so you can only blame yourself for that.”

“What.”

“The rayshift system call can be refused. That's an inescapable truth. You lie a lot but there are some truths in your words. Or actions in this case. You wanted to be in Chaldea, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Ah there it is, your virtuous nature shining through. One day you'll be fooled by someone who is pretending to be your ally...ah, my bad, that has already happened, isn't that right? Maybe you should learn your lesson.”

“Ah, yes. But it doesn't change that you are here. And because you lie often, that means I can just take it whatever way I like. You'll just deny it even if I'm right. But you can't deny we get along pretty well!”

“We do not!”

“See, that's a lie!”

“Ah, I'm going to the cafeteria! Don't follow me!”

Yet we thrive on dreams, don’t we?

“How long do you think I've been in this business? Have you interacted already with some of the servants here? I can tell you don’t mind my company.”

“I quit, I'll break the contract!”

“So, one cube or two?” Ritsuka dares to offer him the sugar cube container, even holding some tongs, just to put the amount he requests in his cup.

“You really want a poisoned tea, right, wonderful Master?~”

Even if they are something that doesn’t exist, we yearn for them, even to make them a reality. No matter how impossible. No matter how painful.

That is why we can never get rid of them.

Even if we forget once the veil of dawn has ended, something of it remains.

-

“There's so much that is subjective. For example, you were Artoria's Merlin, weren't you? For a moment you were Merlin, that was her truth. There's different Merlins, I mean we have different Artorias here from different eras and classes. You were a different Merlin than the one I know.”

Ritsuka is busy trying different colors. Oui and Gogh got into a discussion on how to best get the tones she was aiming for, and they even went to do some research on their own. The reds of a forest seem familiar yet not quite right, not that Oberon was looking at the notebook.

It has to have a dreamlike feeling, that’s what she wanted, but that’s not easy to pour into a painting.

“What we see as a lie or as truth, it changes with our perception. Your lies and my truths might be different, but it's ok. In the end we have only one perspective. That's why lies and truths can mix, that's why contradictions exist. I mean, that is why you are here.”

“Here's some advice from the bottom of my heart, don't quit your day job, Master. Stick to the world saving and leave the philosophical dissertation to virtually anyone else.”

In the end, does the truth really matter?

Something that can change when you close your eyes. Something that is as fleeting as a moth's life.

Would anything change in the grand scheme of things?

To protect Ritsuka, Chaldea forged a story, one where Romani Archaman was at fault for everything that happened.

To the world that is on the verge of disappearing, that became the truth.

To everyone in Chaldea, the truth is that this girl worked harder than anyone to protect this world.

That was what Sherlock Holmes said once they met. Oberon didn’t like him, but in a way he seems familiar. Holmes is a great detective, but since he keeps everything to himself, he might be wrong the entire time until the last minute.

So it’s not like Oberon can take him that seriously.

Even so, he told him the story of the great journey before Panhuman History was at risk by the Alien God. A story of which he was somehow aware, but it seems different when it is told by someone else.

To Oberon, it was a story of selfish survival. A fitting story of those who fight in the mud to continue existing.

To Holmes, it was a story of humanity bravely fighting to avoid destruction. An unlikely event that might have inspired others. Or rather, that is how the Leonardo Da Vinci from that time would have framed it, since Holmes isn’t an author and the current Da Vinci is someone different now.

The events are there, what changes is our perception of them. Perhaps this is where truths and lies take root, the lie of today becomes the truth of tomorrow.

The lie allows the fake existence to continue even when the dream has already ended.

But in the end, everything will fade, so nothing really matters.

-

"Well, I don't know if it has a meaning, but doesn't that mean you can give it your own? Just like how I can take your lies the way I want."

"Aren't you a simplistic one? No, perhaps it is that kind of thinking that has let you get this far. What a naive Master Chaldea has. Though it helps you accomplish your goals. "

He is not sure why they are taking tea while chatting, but here he is. Perhaps it is to hide his annoyance, the Master won’t stop until she gets what she wants anyway, so he is just avoiding a pointless squabble.

"You can think whatever you want~ and in any case, even if the feelings of today will be nothing in the future, that doesn't mean they are worthless. Because they affect the you of today and that is the moment when you are alive.”

The joy of living, that is something Oberon can’t understand nor tolerate. It angers him.

Of course, he is an entity of the abyss so how could he comprehend that?

The will of self-destruction, the cessation of existence. That something is so fundamentally wrong that it must wiped out, for there is no way to fix something that crooked.

Faerie Britain wished for him because it had to be wiped away from all records, because it had no way of being salvaged.

Therefore, he can only listen to those words.

(Perhaps it is the envy of not having something? Perhaps it is the bitterness of no longer having something to do, to dream for? Or simple ennui that no matter what, in the end it doesn’t matter?)

Ritsuka ignores his silence, as she continues.

“I don't know but for someone who likes stories you don't seem like you're actually enjoying them.”

“Would you enjoy a story where you fade away like everyone in the lostbelts you have erased? Ah, my bad. Surely, as the winner you can afford to disregard those stories. Silly me, of course you would be able to believe that as the victor you can claim to be the true history. Panhuman history is in the end mankind's right path, after all, and everything else can fade into the abyss.”

Her smile is complex, almost a facade. From one angle it looks like a forlorn frown, from the other a faint smile. She plays with the spoon on her table.

"Hmmm, I wonder..."

 Dr. Roman, we finally beat the British Lostbelt. It was unlike any other places we were, and I keep thinking of Percival's words...

   I wish you were still here.

The sacrifice of someone can mean the whole world for a single person. The sacrifices of millions can become a mere statistic, a simple cold number to show how bad an event was. In the end, it doesn't matter.

What was once lost will never come back.

The void left in one's soul will never heal, it only becomes more bearable with time.

But even so, that lingering pain is the proof that someone was alive, that they left a mark on the others they met as one looks at the twinkling stars and reminisces of the never-happening-again past.

“Did you know the true opposite of love isn't hate but indifference?”

“Haaah? Perhaps you didn't think so but I was being honest about my suggestion. Thinking too much will only hurt your head. You should only focus on what's in front of you.”

“Whether you love or hate, you end up putting a lot of attention to the object of your affections, but if you're indifferent to it, it ceases to exist. Perhaps your hatred of everything is because there's something you cannot afford to lose.”

Titania was the wife of Oberon in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. She was the only one who could accept the king's eccentric personality.

But in reality, she was just a creation for the story, a being who was never real.

Of course, there isn't a person like that in the world.

Someone who accepts a hollow entity like me.

“I don’t know, if Arjuna Alter was able to come to terms with his own humanity, well...nevermind. I was just thinking aloud.”

(Ideals are just that.

A concept not belonging to this world.

It is when you reconcile with the flawed reality that you can grasp your happiness, the one you have.)

“Heh-Hahahaha, that's rich, Master!”

This is so sickening.

Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) such an unpleasant existence. Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) a being born of hate, a destructive force whose only purpose is to rend everything to ashes.

But the fact is, Titania doesn't exist. This means no one could accept someone like him.

That is the unpleasant truth.

That is why people are entranced(poisoned) by falsehoods, lies to sweeten the body and protect the soul. It's a sweet elixir to hide from the harsh reality, the ultimate end of the journey of everyone, a pointless, worthless life. Because at the end of the dream, no matter what one has accomplished, it doesn't change the finale of this story and it is doomed to be forgotten. 

Just as the one princess from before, who also fell in love with the Fairy King. The one who tried to give fire to his cold body. But he didn't notice this, not even when her snow body had ceased to move, a protection of love.

So in the end, if it's not acknowledged, it is the same as it never had happened.

“Tell me, does it matter to you? Are you going to tell me you know how I feel? That you understand what I'm going through? Come on, tell me your important story, that everything is going to be alright as long as I'm not alone-”

“I can't. I don't know how you feel. Even if we had suffered the same, I wouldn't know how you feel.”

Her words or her smile, the same as before. He doesn’t know which but it cuts him short.

“All I know is the pain of losing someone important to me, but that's not what you're feeling, right?”

The Titania I wish for doesn't exist in this world. The Faerie Britain that gave birth to me no longer exists, even if I have accomplished my goal. 

I am merely a dream whose purpose has been fulfilled and thus, the curtain shall be down as I exit the stage.

The things I yearn for are merely dreams. Even so, I hope, because I saw it existed for someone else. For another Oberon, not the one I am.

The illusion of happiness, the hope of a love.

I don't know how it is to not be Oberon, the lying king. The king without any other purpose. The villain that has exited the stage having won, but now even that victory is pointless.

Then, why am I still here? 

“For what it's worth, I like you. You're nice company, lies and all.”

“You’re an odd one.”

“I've been told that often.”

“It's not a compliment, you have no taste.”

“You know, for Panhuman history I am the hero, ensuring our world survives. But to everyone else from every lostbelt erased...I am the worst of the worst, the villain that destroys their world.”

Ritsuka traces the notebook on her hands. The contents of the rest could be disclosed but Oberon doesn’t open any of the other pile of notebooks, so they all lie on her bed.

“Patxi cursed me for showing him a world that he thought was happier than his.”

Tears fell from her eyes as she smiled weakly. “I wonder if that was ever the right choice.”

“Panhuman history isn't the perfect utopia you can imagine. Humans seek hatred and war, there's suffering and agony. While some can lead happy lives, there's so many who can't even enjoy a warm meal or think of a future. Kirshtaria saw that, he wanted to make a better world because ours was so imperfect.”

“Why are we still going?”

“Why was ours the correct one?”

“Even now, I don't know. And I'm not sure if I'll ever know. Any justification might seem a rationalization, something to feel less guilty for killing all those people.”

“That is why I cannot forget, I cannot let the history of those lostbelts be erased. Even if I'm the only one who remembers,” her grip on the notebook tightened, “I can never forget them.”

Like a dream, one time Oberon caught sight of what she was drawing, finally reaching the dreamy red hue she long sought, depicting the autumn forest Oberon knew and hated.

The words depicting what happened in Faerie Britain, the stories of Artoria, Morgan, of Barghest, Baobhan Sith and Melusine, of Aurora, of Mike, of Ector, of Knocknarea, of him.

“Even if the rest of the world forgets, I cannot. That's why I want to record as much as I can. I caused them to disappear, remembering all of them is the least I can do.”

“That's guilt for you.”

“...Yes, I can't deny that. I've caused many people to suffer, that is why I cannot stop.”

“You're an idiot. Pursuing a fleeting dream that will only cause you to hurt, as your heart tears itself apart with these thorns you surround yourself with.”

“I guess. But someone has to do it right? But even so…

“I enjoy the moments with everyone here in Chaldea and I can say I'm happy.

But I also feel deep sadness for everything that I have done and continue to do.”

There are many contradicting truths, woven into each other.

Like overlapping threads in a beautiful(horrible) story.

“I could think Panhuman history is the correct one because it was there. There was a reason why it was chosen.”

“And if there isn't? If there is truly no meaning to your journey? That the reason your world was chosen was a mere whim of fate, a sudden lucky roll of the dice? That there is nothing special to your world that makes you worthy of the title of proper human history?”

“Then I guess I will have to make it so that there is one.”

“And if you can't?”

“Just because I can't doesn't mean I shouldn't try.”

“Trying doesn't mean you will succeed. Morgan tried her hardest, but in the end, she still failed, crumbling in despair as her Faerie kingdom burnt to ashes.”

“Well, that will come bite me when the time comes, but for now, that’s all I can do, right?”

In the end, as long as it entertains, does it matter?

What is the purpose of a story? To bring joy(tears)? To break one from that moment of boredom, of despair, and heal the soul even if just a little?

And in the end, does it even matter?

-

“I like this Saint Graph more.”

It’s been a long time since he has donned the clothes as King Oberon. Once the façade was over, once he could ascend, he has never worn anything but the colors of the depths of the abyss. Anyone else would think they are unsightly, hateful, depressing.

After all, the warmth of King Oberon’s butterfly wings makes children smile, makes people trust him. His monstruous limbs right now are not enchanting.

“I thought you were a butterfly girl. And I have been wearing these ever since, why are you even saying this up until now?”

“I just wanted to say that. I like the fluffy cape and the butterfly wings, but you sound less pained right now. And this outfit is cool too.”

In the end, perhaps Titania isn't meant to be someone who brings the sun to your eyes, with laughter so contagious that she makes the bitterness of a day go away. She's not a neverending warmth on a cold winter, nor a guiding bright star up in the dark sky. She's not the simple to your complicated, the light to your dark, the smile to your frown, the opposite of your miserable existence that brings joy to your life. An illogical being that accepts you in spite of your incompatibility. 

Was I wrong all along? 

A companion when watching a wonderful(decadent) play.

Someone who walks by your side in a crumbling world.

Someone whose company makes the poison more bearable and hell, tolerable.

Someone who simply loves me for who I am. Who gazed at the abyss, saw the void yet didn't run away.

Ah, this is so laughable, an amateur terrible tragicomedy, a hideous play with no sickeningly sweet ending.

(Perhaps it is because Titania is a wretched creature herself. Or perhaps because Titania's wings have been torn off that she understands a small fragment of you. Even if true understanding is a lie, a pipe dream. Titania has seen her own hell and can sympathize with yours, with the emptiness and resentment you hold. Not fearing it, not judging it. Just accepting you as the flawed existence you are.

If that is the case, then there is nothing beautiful about Titania.)

But even so...

"...You are..."

"Did you say something?"

"No, nevermind."

Ritsuka smiles as Oberon looks away. He grumbles about the cramped space as he hoards the bed, swatting a mosquito away while she writes in her diary. The boring stories she writes that he doesn't care about even if his fingers have traced those letters.

But even so, he stays.

Ah, love is a bothersome thing.

-

Thank you for reading!

Now, OH BOY WHERE TO BEGIN. Title comes from Debussy's Rêverie. I wanted to play with it, seeing that Oberon's Bond CE is called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which is the title of a melody by Ravel. I am sure it is no coincidence. Both Ravel and Debussy were considered the cornerstones of Impressionism in music, however, they both HATED being labeled like that.

Pavane for a Dead Princess is one of Ravel's solo compositions for the piano. However, unlike what the title implies, Ravel specifically said that it wasn't meant to be a melody of a funeral, but he wanted to evoke the idea of a princess dancing to the pavane. However, some people didn't really listen to him. So in this case, I think that rather than to see Oberon's CE as a funeral to Blanca, it is a way to celebrate her story, even if it didn't end on the happier note we would have wished. You can listen to it here

Now Rêverie is by Debussy and it's meant to feel like a dream, hence the name. The melody became a massive hit, though Debussy later hated this piece because he felt that he had written better pieces but this one was the one that made him famous. Since it was written when he was young, he felt he was still lacking a lot, but the melody became one of his most popular compositions nonetheless. I think that story ties nicely with what we perceive vs what others perceive. You can listen to it here

Now onto the actual fic, I had this vague idea when part 3 was released, especially after all the spoilers about Oberon's true identity. I really wanted to get him, and I was super lucky. In between getting him, his profile and bond lines being translated, I just got possessed to write this as a way to honor and thank him for coming home AND to give him a sort of happy ending after Avalon.

Oberon in that bed is thanks to that comic on Twitter where he is eating chips without any care and the kind reminder of his voice lines that in spite of him constantly complaining, he spends an awful lot of time on our room. Hehehe.

Best of luck if you are pulling for him! And once again, thank you for reading!

[dreamiesdotcom]

february spring | h.rj

genre: hanahaki!au, angst, fluff

trigger warning: character death

summary: You wonder what he'll do when he realizes you no longer cough petals, but flowers in full bloom — that inside you is a full blown spring, within a body that exists in winter.

word count: 2.7k

The thing about flowers is that they suck.

Today again you wake up coughing petals and blood, feeling like wanting to burn the world and then your damned feelings — but no, you think, you'd rather not have life at all if you're not in love with him. You'd choose him again and again if asked.

That's the stupid thing about it. You're so willing to hurt and to be hurt for love that made flowers grow inside you.

Your mom is crying at the foot of your bed, praying for it all to be gone; the petals, the blood, the disease you have to fight because you fell for the wrong person. Your dad turned around to face the wall, tears in his eyes. He wants you to be better. He needs you to be better, and he needs to be strong so you could fight.

It's useless, anyway.

"This could end in three ways," you remember your doctor saying. "Either he loves you back, you take the surgery, or you die."

And you know what that means? That no amount of strength, of happiness, will keep you alive. It's impossible for him to love you back. You're dying. There's flowers growing inside you and you're dying — dying in the most beautiful way; dying of love.

Of stupid love, but you disregard that.

"Mom," you call. "I don't want the surgery."

"You want to die?" She asks with a laugh, "You want to die for a boy who doesn't even know of your love?"

"Y/N," your dad calls, a warning.

"Please don't make me go through it," you close your eyes. "I don't want to forget him. I don't want to forget love."

Because it's all I have, you wanted to say. Love is the one thing worth having, and you can't imagine yourself after the surgery; you'll get your emotions removed alongside the flowers in both your lungs and heart. You can't imagine that.

It's not even about him anymore. It's—

"Mom, please," you beg, "I don't... I don't want to live in a world where I wouldn't be able to live and love. I don't want to live not loving you and dad."

Because what is a human without love, emotions? An empty vessel. A withering rose. Something to stare at emptily as slowly, they begin to die.

Tears well in your mother's eyes, shaking her head, repeating the same words again and again — "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him" — but you made up your mind. You're dying, but before that you're gonna live —

you're gonna live, and this time not for him anymore; for yourself. For yourself too.

Even though life with this disease is limited to this hospital, the window and the rooftop, it is life still — this sickness made you cherish all the little things you'll lose when your body loses warmth. On some days you play with the kids, young hearts running around not really understanding their situations.

You put a smile on your face after everytime you throw up — you hide away somewhere no one would see, you hide yourself. You want to live. If you want to live, there's no need to be pitied.

At night, before you need to go to your room, you go to the rooftop and meet with a friend; Huang Renjun, same case. His heart longs for the stars, the moon, and a boy who is and will always be happier with someone else.

Tonight again, you stargaze.

"Imagine what we'll be if we weren't like this," he wonders out loud, "You'd still be annoying."

You kick his foot lightly, making him laugh, "See? You're sick and annoying. If you weren't sick, you'd be even more annoying!"

You turn to face him, and a fond smile is on his face, "You'd be beautiful still, even more without the tiredness in your eyes."

"And you'd still be handsome, Renjun," you find yourself saying, "You'd still love books and poetry, and stars..."

"But your smile wouldn't be so sad," he continues, pointing to Sirius, tracing the entire constellation as if the stars are right before his fingertips. "Your smile would be open and honest, not just something to comfort me."

You smile wistfully. He rolls around to pin you down, his hands on your wrists, a smile of his own on his face. It's something silly, kind of cheeky — typical Renjun.

"You're my only friend, Y/N," he confesses. "And I hate him. I hate the boy who made you sick."

Tears start to fall from his eyes, leaving him shaking. His arms still pin you to the ground, his tears falling on your face. He sobs. He sobs and sobs and my god, he still looks beautiful — Sirius rests on the space where his neck and shoulders meet. Galaxies are in his eyes.

He looked beautiful, so beautiful that you didn't have the heart to tell him that it's him. There's no other boy but him.

###

I wonder when he'll notice...

February cold engulfs you in its hold, making you shiver. Renjun walks beside you. It's a silent trip to the rooftop, snow falling in beautiful flakes. He takes notice in your silence.

I wonder when he'll ask if I love him...

"Are you okay?" Renjun asks, shoulder brushing against yours.

You smile at him, "I'm fine. I'm just a little cold."

Time is running out...

"Renjun," you call out his name, "Do you think you could ever fall in love with me?"

He looks at you as if you said something absurd. He laughed, he laughed until he coughed blood and petals — you stop in panic, rubbing his back.

"I think the cold is doing us no good," you say. "Let's head inside."

Was it really that impossible for you to fall in love with me?

"No, no, I'm fine." He wipes the blood off his lips, "See?"

Scary as it seems, the petals have become usual visitors for patient with Hanahaki. It doesn't even bother Renjun anymore at this point.

He'll have the surgery and get better — just a little more, he said, let me feel this love for a little more, because after the surgery I know I never will love again.

The petals don't shake him anymore. There's a cure, after all. A cure you keep denying yourself.

"Alright, let's go."

You resume walking, looking straight ahead. The sun is setting as a white sunset.

You wonder what he'll do when he realizes you no longer cough petals, but flowers in full bloom — that inside you is a full blown spring, within a body that exists in winter.

###

"Happy Birthday to you~ happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday..."

You look at Renjun's room, meeting gazes with Lee Jeno. You smile and look away.

Renjun has told you the story of three best friends.

Jaemin and Jeno are his regular visitors. Whenever they come, there's a spark in Renjun's eyes — the glint of sadness, the look of yearning for love like theirs. You know. You pass by his door everytime.

You know, too, that he's still in love with Na Jaemin.

Whenever they come by, they bring him flowers — you laugh, because Renjun has enough of those blooming inside him. They bring him food to eat, bring him gifts, but there's no love for him in that space. Jaemin and Jeno's love are solely for each other, and Renjun wants that selfishness too; he wants Jaemin's love all to himself. It's what planted those seeds.

Whenever they come, Renjun wallows in envy and self pity and sadness, sadness because it breaks his heart that seeing them both so happy hurts him. Whenever they come, you battle yourself to not yell at them and make them leave and tell them they're not of any help, not helping him feel better — Renjun's life is just as limited as yours. He has counted seconds and all they do is make him realize what a fool he was to fall for someone he'll never have.

Whenever they leave, they leave a hole in his heart — it only grows bigger and bigger with every visit, with every goodbye. Renjun must be a fool.

But he'll have it, the surgery. He wants to live that much, that even though it will be impossible for him to feel love, he'll still search for happiness.

And that's how you know it.

You're dying.

In silence, you break down and whisper your greetings: Happy birthday, Renjun.

###

Renjun sits across you, holding the flowers Na Jaemin has given him. He plucks them once — he loves me. The sun is hidden away by the clouds, and his gaze that once were on you flutters across the room, back to where Jaemin stands. He plucks another petal — he loves me not.

Jaemin looks back to your direction, and waves. You're sure it made Renjun's heart flutter.

"You're the infamous Y/N," Jaemin grins. "I hope we can be good friends."

"Before I die, that is," you joke, earning a smack from Renjun. The stem of the flower hits the back of your head.

He loves me.

"Jaemin, where's Jeno?" Renjun asks, curious. There's no sight of honey haired boy and it's a strange sight, but you know deep inside he is pleased.

He loves me not.

"He's busy today."

"As he is every day?"

"C'mon, Renjun," Jaemin laughs. "It's not like he never gives me time."

Renjun shakes his head anyway. He releases a big sigh, calming himself down — deep inside he knows he can love Jaemin better. A pained look flashes in your eyes.

Renjun taps your thigh in concern.

He loves me.

"I need to go, 'jun," Jaemin says, taking his belongings with him. He runs straight to the door, but before that he turns around and waves.

When Jaemin leaves the room, Renjun looks like he just fell in love. Again.

A bitter smile draws on your face.

He loves me not.

###

The day of Renjun's surgery came quicker than expected. The explanation was simple; he can never feel love again, but he will survive. He will be alive and that's what matters.

It's a sad thought, living without love. But Renjun would rather not love than not live at all.

"It's tomorrow," he said. "You should take care."

You don't meet his gaze.

"I'm tired, Renjun," you whisper, clutching his shirt to pull him impossibly closer.

A smile draws on his face, a beautiful sight to look at.

He asks, "Tired of what?"

And you've been tired of a lot of things. You tried not being so, but you can't help but fail miserably — lately everything's just been too much. Most of them, though; thoughts like this, like the truth that spills from your mouth.

"Of the flowers growing inside me," you say wistfully, "I'm tired of it and I hate it. I hate it so much."

"Y/N..."

"And I'm tired of you too, of you looking at me with those eyes," you turn to face Renjun who sits with his head hung low. You let a chuckle escape your lips, "Those eyes that look at me as if you could love me had you not met Jaemin."

Renjun couldn't say a word.

You feel yourself withering away as more flowers bloom inside you.

###

Renjun left right after he recovered from the surgery, the nurses said. You stay in your bed all those time, not bidding him goodbye at all. You throw up more flowers than usual, more blood.

All the promises you made about living life before you die is gone. All you can think about is how difficult it is to breathe, how hard it is to live.

"Mom," you call, hoping for ease, "I want to give up."

But she smiles with tears in her eyes, she smiles. You see, she had the most beautiful smile in the world. Her eyes are brimming with unshed tears and her lips stretched in a pitiful expression, "No, darling," she begs. "Stay awake. Stay awake for me."

You smile back.

"It hurts to breathe."

"It will be okay," at least she prays. "It's gonna be okay. Go through with the surgery."

You shake your head, declining still. Time is running out. Your father hugs you tight, the first time in years, a kiss pressed on your temple. Your mother holds your hand.

I don't want to, you repeat again and again.

Your father holds your hand — "We'll do what you want."

And there's a protest at the tip of your mother's tongue, but it melts away at the sight of tears falling from your eyes.

"Okay, sweetie," she says. "We'll do what you want."

Your doctor comes in a hurry minutes after. He's panting, a red flush on his face — he seems mad. "How long has it been?"

"Doctor..."

"You didn't tell us you were coughing out whole flowers."

Your mother's cries start to get louder. Full flowers meant the last stage: the closest to death. At this point it's a game between life and death and the dangers in between. You smile.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, "But I'm not going through the surgery, doctor."

They look at you with eyes of pity, saddened that it has come to this. Your doctor nods. Your mother shakes in your father's hold. You laugh, "Why are you all crying?"

"Stupid child," your mother says. "Stupid Y/N."

You laugh harder, tears falling from your eyes. "I love you, mom," you say. "Can you hold my hand tighter? I'm scared."

From outside your door, Renjun clamps his hand over his mouth; he feels like throwing up. He originally planned to say one last goodbye, but instead, he gets this... this. Whatever the hell this mess is.

You're dying, all because you're in love with him.

All because he couldn't love you back.

###

The time comes quicker than expected.

You look at your body, watching from your soul — this must be what it is like to be have your soul wandering. You breathe in sharply, breathe out. You look at all the tubes connected to your body.

You go through the wall, moving to hug your parents. Your mother must've felt you, for her sobs grew louder and she called your name.

Suddenly, someone storms in.

"Doctor, it seems like you have an emergency patient," the nurse intervenes.

"Who's the patient?"

"Huang Renjun."

Your feel your heart drop — who knew you could still feel such things? But Renjun, didn't he...

"Renjun? Didn't he have a successful surgery?"

"Yes," the nurse looks down in shame, "But it seems there's remains of flowers in his lungs. He's now coughing out flowers in full-bloom."

The doctor rushes out of the room, saying excuses to your parents. You watch your own body breathe its last breath.

The nurse looks down, "Y/L/N Y/N, time of death, 10:48 a.m."

You wander around the hospital, going to where your feet take you. You soon find yourself in the emergency room, watching Renjun almost pass out from coughing flowers.

"Renjun," you call — the ghost of you, your soul. The one Renjun sees.

He looks in panic, knowing why he's seeing you; he's ready to die. What he's not ready for is to see you as a soul, dead and eternally young.

He blinks once, twice, hoping you don't disappear. It's not all truthful words, but he says it — "I love you."

Outside the room, Renjun's parents wonder to themselves — who is he talking to? What is he mumbling? His parents can't help but cry, worried at every flutter of his eyes.

"They say... when people are almost dying, their closest family visit them to take them to paradise." Jaemin says with a bitter smile, "I heard... Y/N passed. He might be seeing her."

A slap sounds in the room.

"My son is not dying!" Renjun's mother says. Jaemin nods, tears falling from his eyes.

"Are you scared?" you ask, head tilted, hands brushing strands of his hair away from his face.

"Yes," Renjun confesses.

"I'll hold your hand."

"Until it's over?"

You smile, "You're one of my greatest friend, after all."

Renjun never expected to die. Then, at the same time, he never expected the tiny sliver of love he feels for you — love for a friend, for a dear one. Renjun found a real best friend within you.

So, he holds your hands and comes with you.

"Doctor? Doctor, what's happening— my son!" His mother calls as he watches his eyelids close, "Renjun... My little boy..."

One last smile, one last cough of his favorite flower — Renjun is at peace. He closes his eyes and remains his age forever.

"Huang Renjun, time of death, 10:52 a.m."

[hopeless-ro-simptic]

Familiar Cerulean Eyes Pt. 6

Click here for other parts! Part 7 is up now!

Just gonna leave this here... 

Warnings! Seriously read this before continuing!: This part contains an attempted rape scene. Please just skip to the next part if you are uncomfortable reading that. 

Word Count: 3.3 k 

TAGLIST: @skzero-99​ @superblyspeedydragon​ @jparra4587​ @flyingowls​ @emrysaaryn​ @imuziawi​ @sheedaabee​ @peculiarinsomniac​ @littlelovebug98​ @plutoneu​ @giftofwonder​ @kitty-kat-ash​ @fukyouthink​ @anarchys-bnha-mess​ @threbony​ @orenjineki​ @toobsessedsstuff​ @bamf-barnes​ @x-a-delama-x​ @inanabsentia​ @reallyshey​ @godsblesstheboi​ @operatorsdime @drownedbytears​ @emilymikado​ @fluidfandoms​

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walkie-talkie they had provided to you only had one station. The station that spoke directly to Kurogiri. You had tried fiddling with the knobs to see if you could get literally anyone else on the line but after 30 minutes of messing with the stupid thing you gave up. At least it told you the date and time so you could keep track of how long it has been since you were left alone in this damned cell.

You hadn’t moved from your spot in the corner since everyone left, curled up with your snack bag and blanket, using the pillow to prop yourself up against the cold wall, choosing instead to sleep the time away. Your body however decided you could only sleep for so long. Apparently 14 hours was the mark. 14 hours of off and on sleeping and now all you could do was pace.

You never thought you would be bored when you were kidnapped, but if you had to go one more minute with nothing to do you were going to start trying to dig your way out of this cell with your fingernails. So you caved.

Picking up the walkie-talkie you pressed the call button and cautiously spoke out loud into the room.

“Kurogiri?”  

The mist beta conjured himself into the room within seconds, well dressed as always. A calming aura surrounding him.

“Yes Y/N? What can I do for you?”

Your cheeks heated up as you thought about your request, suddenly feeling like a child. You didn’t want to come off as whiney, you definitely didn’t want the League to deem you as annoying and decide to kill you. But you were so bored. Bored enough to threaten your life with the company of villains.

“H-hi… um… I just wanted to know if there was like…I just wanted…”

“Company?” The knowing eyes of the mist in front of you was a little unsettling as he immediately guessed as to what you wanted.

“H-how did you know?”

“Omega’s are very social beings, it’s a wonder you lasted this long with nothing to do…and you have been pacing for the last 45 minutes” You glanced up at the camera a shiver going down your spine.

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Only for a brief bit, I was concerned when you didn’t reach out earlier for food. I am surprised it took your this long to reach out for anything at all. I was simply checking to make sure you were alive.”

You relaxed a bit at this. The beta didn’t seem in a hurry to get out of here, and even though he was a villain, you were more than happy for the company. So you sat back down in your nonexistent nest, pushing your hair behind your ears as you thought of how to keep a conversation going.

“So you have to babysit me.. I bet that’s annoying.” You cringed at your words. Why would you say that? What were you supposed to say to a villain to strike up a conversation?

“Not at all, Y/N. I have many jobs here at the league, making sure our guests are fed and comfortable is just another thing that I have been tasked with. If it makes one of our members happy then it makes me happy. Dabi seemed particularly concerned with your treatment while he was gone.”

“Oh…” You paused for a minute unsure of how to proceed. It sounded like Kurogiri did a lot for the league, you wondered why.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You may, though I may not be able to answer it.” He nodded at you to proceed and you fiddled with the blanket in front of you.

“Why are you a ..” You paused, unsure if this was a good way to start, only to be encouraged by the mist in front of you. “Why did you join the league? You don’t strike me as the same as the others.”

“Well Y/N, I have been with Shigaraki for some time now, long before this group was formed... I believe in his cause, and I want to help him achieve it. The hero society is not as pretty as it seems from the outside, I promise you that.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” You mumbled it softly, enough that if you weren’t in a completely silent room you don’t think you would have even heard yourself. But the beta in front of you didn’t miss your comment.

“The question is Y/N, what side of the fight are you going to choose to be on.”  

“I’m not in the fight.. I’m not a hero..” You looked at Kurogiri, confusion across your face.

“Everyone is in the fight… even if they don’t want to be.”

Kurogiri had brought you a deck of playing cards after that little chat, advising you of how to set up a solitaire game to keep yourself busy. You couldn’t help but feel grateful for the kindness he was showing you. Even though you were literally their prisoner right now, he did seem like he was trying to make you as comfortable as he could.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next time that you called on Kurogiri was because you ran out of food several hours later. Part of you felt really bad, whispering softly into the walkie-talkie that showed a time of 4am. You didn’t want to wake the villain up, but your stomach was growling so loud you couldn’t sleep. You had just resigned yourself to the fact that you would have to wait until a more appropriate time when the black mist swirled in front of you, the man appearing with what looked like a freshly made bowl of meat and veggies with rice balls on the side. The smell had your mouth watering as he presented the bowl to you.

“I’m so sorry to wake you up this late Kurogiri, you didn’t have to cook…” You immediately dug into the food after thanking him, your stomach thanking you for waking him up anyways.

“No worries Y/N, I wasn’t asleep. We are quite used to being up late at night here, and I usually cook for the other members anyways when time permits.” You had to force yourself not to imagine the mist man in an apron, doting on the other league members like a mother would a young child. He was so different. You also ignored the way he mentioned the other members, like he was already considering you as one as well.

“Is Dabi back yet? Is he okay?” You didn’t even notice yourself asking the question as you continued to eat, just glad for company once again, after your chat last time, it was easier to slip into conversation with Kurogiri, but still a little awkward.

“He has not returned yet, but he has checked in and is fine. He should be returning tomorrow afternoon if all goes well with his mission.”

That’s good you thought, you were halfway through this. Just another day and a half and then you could at the very least have a semi-comfortable bed. You found yourself missing the cinnamon scent mixed with smoke and whiskey, like your omega couldn’t relax without it, finding a comfort in the warm and spicey smell that you shouldn’t have. Maybe you should have had him scent the blanket for you…

“May I ask just who you are to Dabi? I must say we are all quite confused on the two of you’s relationship seeing as you are not bonded.”

“Hmm? Oh…” You could feel your cheeks heat up, realizing you were daydreaming again. You had been thinking about those blue eyes a lot when you were by yourself, the handwriting on his note etched into your mind, it nagging you in the back of your mind like you were missing something about it. You were still upset at the alpha, but your omega was polluting your mind with thoughts that you rather ignore, images being burned into your brain at his words before he left.. he wasn’t wrong. You did want him. You just didn’t want to want him.

“It’s nothing…. He just kidnapped me is all...” That’s all you thought, just a villain kidnapping a random omega off the street. You snorted internally at how silly that sounded while your omega was yearning for him. Maybe you have Stockholm syndrome.

“Interesting…” Kurogiri looked like he was about to say something else, when the familiar click of a walkie-talkie sounded, a voice ringing out.

“Kurogiri, ready for pickup.”

“Ah, it seems Mr. Compress has finished his part. I will return later for your dishes Y/N. Please enjoy your meal.” And with that, the mist man disappeared again without a trace.

Once Kurogiri had gone, and you had finished up your meal, you curled up onto the crappy mattress, pulling the blanket tight around yourself as you cuddled up against his pillow, breathing in the scent as you replayed every moment since you woke up in his room, thinking of those familiar cerulean eyes as you drifted back to sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were playing solitaire, like Kurogiri had shown you, several hours later when you decided to check the time again for what was probably the sixth time in the last hour. You glanced at the time on the walkie-talkie, trying to decide if you wanted to bother Kurogiri again for some more food, when you heard a creak. Looking up you noticed that the wall was opening up and in stepped Mr. Compress, a hot plate of food in his hands, only for him to close the wall behind him, locking it in place his scent enveloping the room immediately.

So there was a door.

“Hello Y/N, Kurogiri said you would probably be hungry around this time. He’s a little busy right now so he sent me instead.”

You shuffled in your place on the bed, you weren’t expecting this, to have to deal with another alpha by yourself. You didn’t trust the alpha in front of you but he wasn’t lunging at you to kill you, and Kurogiri and Dabi had been nice so far..and he brought food. He sat the plate down at the end of the bed, bowing to you lowly glancing up through his eyelashes a polite smile on his face. This one wasn’t as comforting as the mist mans but it wasn’t threatening either.

“I don’t believe I got to properly introduce myself last time we spoke. I’m Mr. Compress.”

“H-hi… thank you for the food.” You expected the alpha to leave it at that and disappear back the way he came, but instead he straightened up, twirling his cain in his hands as he watched you with interest.

“What an interesting quirk you have, might I say. We were all very shocked at the little show that you and pretty boy put on.” The smile on his face grew wider as you cautiously reached for the plate of food, taking a whiff of the air. He was pumping out his pheromones like an omega in heat, like he was trying to cover every other smell in this tiny room. It wasn’t a particularly unpleasant smell, you think it was a mix of amber and leather, but there was something about it that made your omega tense up. It was like he was peacocking and you could only guess at why.

“So you and Dabi? What’s going on there, that is of course, if you don’t mind the intrusion?”

Your omega chirped in the back of your brain, encouraging you to claim Dabi as your alpha, if only to get this other alpha to back down. You ignored it though, telling yourself that the alpha in front of you was being nothing but kind to you. He hadn’t done anything remotely threatening to you, like Kurogiri he was probably just trying to make you more comfortable and was looking for gossip, he seemed like the type.

“Nothing…”

“Hmm… see I don’t believe that, and neither does anyone else in the league. You see, we’ve never seen Dabi act so… interested in an Omega before. Can’t say I blame him, you do smell delicious.” You could feel his eyes slowly moving across your form, drinking you in much like Dabi had done a few times now, but this felt different. The alpha in front of you had a weird look on his face that made your chest tighten and not in a good way. You had seen a similar look before from alpha’s. 

“I don’t know what you mean. I barely know Dabi..” You shifted uncomfortably under the alpha’s gaze, your heartrate picking up as you glanced briefly at where the door had been. Your omega was taking over, the alarms in your brain ringing louder. Were you sure it was locked? He had to get out of here somehow, meaning you could get out too.

“Oh? Well in that case, why don’t I get you out of here? There’s no need for a pretty little omega like you to be cooped up in this cage, waiting on a disfigured manchild. Wouldn’t you like that? A chance to get out of here.”

You stayed silent as the alpha leaned down to you flicking your eyes back to his own, his gloved hand reaching up to stroke your cheek gently before he lightly grabbed your hand, lifting it to his lips in a gentle kiss.

“I-I’m good right here.. I’ll wait for Dabi..” The charming alpha stood up, straightening his glove as his lips a sigh leaving his mouth.

“Why would you want to stay here? In a cell, waiting for the walking cigarette? I can provide so much more for you, you just need to say the word and I could treat you like a queen.”

“I-I’m okay… Dabi will be back in a couple hours…actually if you could leave I really need to go to the bath-” you were standing up, the words barely leaving your mouth as you watched the façade in front of you crack. You weren’t prepared for the wind to be knocked out of you, his cane jabbing you in the stomach forcing you to drop to your knees holding your stomach gasping for breath as he looked down at you.

“Look, I tried to ask nicely but you’re apparently too dumb to get the hint little omega. You are coming with me, you are going to be mine, and you are going to like it.”

Compress gripped your wrists pulling you up to be standing, an annoyed look on his face as you struggled against him. You immediately raised your knee up in reaction, hitting him right in the crotch. You expected him to go down. To let you go. You only succeeded in making him more angry. He slammed you harshly against the wall with a sickening thud, your vision going blurry at the pain in the back of your head. You were pretty sure that you were bleeding. He pushed you stomach down onto the mattress, your face landing down onto the pillow thankfully, instead of the wall behind it. He dropped down on top of you, his weight holding you down from behind, immediately trapping your legs with his own to stop you from kicking at him again. He leaned down, running his nose up along your scent glands, his tongue following shortly after.

“Don’t fight it. If you’re good maybe I’ll even end your suffering and bond you like someone should have a long time ago.”

You couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper, your hands reaching up searching around wildly for the one thing that could save you, gripping the fur blanket.

Compress smirked at your response as he scented you heavily to the point where you were dripping in the smell of leather, softly cooing in your ear at an attempt to sooth your omega. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to smell like that burnt idiot anymore.” You could feel the tears welling in your eyes as you wriggled against him, you didn’t want this. You didn’t want the smell to go away. You deeply inhaled the pillow in front of you, trying to block out your senses, only for Compress to snatch the pillow away with a growl. His alpha canines leaning in close to your face as he wrapped his hand into your hair yanking hard on it.

“What did I just say my dear?”

“Please..”

“Darling, quit whining. What do you think Dabi was going to do to you? Wouldn’t you rather it be me instead of that walking patchwork? At least this way you can have pretty pups to entertain yourself with, I doubt that ashtray can even breed.” He was yanking down your sweatpants now, ripping the drawstring that held them tight around your waist. You could feel his eyes roaming along your body, could feel his erection twitch when he noticed the lack of layers to deal with.

You wanted to vomit. Reaching your hands further under the fur blanket you finally found what you were looking for. Dragging the walkie-talkie out from under the blanket you clicked the call button and sobbed into it.

“Help me! Da- Dabi! Help!” You were practically screaming into the microphone, hiccupping through your tears, but Mr. Compress snatched the walkie-talkie away from you throwing it against the wall and shattering it with the force.

“Naïve Omega, no one is coming for you. Stay still” The alpha’s voice rang out and you froze your omega immediately tucking tail at the demand. You couldn’t help it. You fought as hard as you could against your instincts forcing you to listen to the alpha, begged your body to move, to react, to fight back. You heard the zipper of his pants, felt it as he shoved them down past his knees, his legs rubbing against you as he moved, felt his erection hot against your skin as he lined it up to your entrance, not even bothering to prepare you for what was to come. All you could do was lay there and hiccup through your tears and snot and pray that this would be over quickly. You knew better than that though. You had heard the stories of what happens when an alpha goes into a rut. How they can and will go for hours on end until they finally run out of steam. How they usually tended to go a little more feral than normal, and sometimes ended up hurting omega’s especially if they didn’t want it.

You knew that you would rather die in this moment then have to live through the next few hours, but you wouldn’t have such luck. So instead you let your mind wander, focusing on the smallest hint of cinnamon coming from the pillow behind you across the room. Focusing on the singular word that was etched into your brain as clear as day, the handwriting nagging at you. Focusing on the blue eyes that haunted your dreams that were too close to the ones that had been trained on you when you woke up in his apartment just the other day covered in soot and the smell of smoke. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself, a single thought on your mind, of two boys with cerulean eyes.

You could vaguely hear the sound of an anguished scream in the back of your mind, but you ignored it and focused on the growing smell of cinnamon, whiskey and smoke. Lot’s of smoke. You felt warm, uncomfortably so, but you forced yourself to ignore it, focusing on the feeling of floating away.

Your eyes fluttered open looking up at a familiar red-head, cerulean eyes staring down at you with worry. He had you cradled in his arms, and didn’t look like he was going to let you go any time soon. He was saying something… maybe your name?

“Touya... I had the weirdest dream…”

“Y/N thank god, stay awake for me princess, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

“You died…. And I got kidnapped… and then… Touya it was a nightmare.” You felt your eyes fluttering shut again, your head really hurt. Everything was so bright.

“No, don’t go to sleep yet, princess come on wake up.”

“Touya... please don’t leave me.”

With that you were out, the world going black.

[mayraskywalker]

So in this chapter, I decided that POV wouldn’t be adequate for the situation. I played with it a little and ultimately, I think third-person perspective is better.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ there are suggestive words in this chapter: words describing genitalia, and references of a sexual nature.

CHAPTER THREE: HAPPIER

Morning came quickly as the alarm on Nanami’s phone went off. Gojo didn’t use an alarm, so naturally, he hated the early morning wake up call. Nanami slowly opened his eyes, and let the alarm ring for a little while longer as he stared out the window, which was on his side of the room. Thoughts of the events from the night before flooded his mind, and his face flushed. He covered his head with the covers, trying to turn back time. Or stop it.

That notion was interrupted when he felt his covers forcefully pulled off him, exposing him to the morning sunlight. He opened his eyes slowly, dreading what he might see. Sure enough, and angry Satoru was looking down at him, with the widest eyes and the most pronounced frown.

“If you’re not gonna get up, could you AT LEAST turn that damned thing off?!, Gojo said with an annoyed tone. “I’m actually surprised you let it ring more than once. Late night?”

Nanami shot back daggers at Gojo’s brilliant blue eyes, then covered his eyes again with his forearm. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m so embarrassed. THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE I’VE BEEN AROUND YOU TOO LONG! She probably thinks I’m a freak.”

Gojo’s face went from annoyed, to surprised, to excited in a matter of 5 seconds. “Wait wait wait, are you talking about the foreigner! Did something happen between you two while I was gone? Did you get some? AHH! She’s forbidden! Oh you are naughty indeed, Kento Nanami…”

Nanami shot up on his bed and intercepted before Gojo’s imagination ran too wild, “NO! Are you crazy? I could never! We just…talked. And drank tea. And I may have been flirting a bit…But I got too excited. You know I don’t do well with talking to girls. And well…she saw…my excitement. So I ran…”

With incredible speed, Gojo landed next to Nanami on the bed, and with the largest grin and said, “So you’re telling me, you TALKED to her, and yoU GOT A BONER?! Dude…you’re such a virgin.” He fell back on the bed and roared in laughter. Nanami did not think this was funny at all, so he stood up abruptly, and walked towards the restroom and left Gojo to his foolishness on the bed.

While Nanami got in the shower, his phone rang. Gojo walked over to the nightstand and picked up the phone; sure enough, it was Eleanor. He smiled and answered. “Good morning princess. How did you sleep? Did you have a good and restful night?” he tease.

The phone was silent for a moment, and then Eleanor replied, “Gojo, good morning. Umm…I was just wondering…at what time we were gonna set out! Yes! That. So I can be prepared.”

The smile on Satoru’s face grew wider as he replied, “We just woke up, barely getting our thoughts together, and you’re rushing us? You’re always welcome to come over and help us start the day off right."

“Take your time, Gojo. I’ll be ready when you both are ready to leave.” She said before hanging up.

Gojo put the phone down and walked towards the restroom door, where he could hear Nanami taking a shower. “You girlfriend just called. She said she misses you and wonders why you weren’t there when she woke up.”

No reply.

Gojo continued, “Tomorrow is her 18th birthday. A whole grown woman. And her loins will be yearning. Her breasts will be supple. Her tight, little cock hole will be ready to get fucked. Too bad she’s off limits, right Nanamin?”

The water shut off. Gojo steps aside from the door, and leans against the door frame, ready to see Nanami’s expression. Nanami opens the door, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, doesn’t give a second look towards Gojo before stepping into the living area and picking up his clothes. “Instead of talking like an absolute asshole,” Nanami replied, “Get in the shower and get ready to head out. You smell like leftover salmon sushi.”

Gojo laughed once more and said, “Maaan. Talking about virgin, foreign pussy got me all worked up!” He looks down towards his member and presses down on the protruding bulge in his pants. “Lemme get in the shower and take care of this. Don’t try to sneak a peek, Nanamin. If you wanna join me, knock 3 times. Wait for 2 seconds, then knock 2 more times. That’s the secret code.” He sauntered into the restroom and closed the door.

Nanami rolled his eyes and proceeded to get ready. Once he got to his pants button, he paused and thought to himself, “Fuck, he’s right. She’s off limits. Remember that next time you think with your dick, Kento.” But he knew that wasn’t it. It wasn’t just his dick swaying his thoughts and feelings. Either way, he knew he had to stay away. No telling how he’d react if he were to be alone with her again.

The car ride to the next town was quiet. Gojo claimed shotgun immediately, knowing exactly what he was doing. Both Eleanor and Nanami looked out their own windows, barely making conversation. Both their faces burning a scarlet red. They had stopped briefly at the coffee shop from the day before. Nanami bought a tea. Eleanor bought a banana nut bread and coffee. Gojo opted for an orange juice.

The drive was almost 2 hours in before Eleanor needed to stop to use the restroom. They stopped at a convenience store in a small town. Gojo got off to get snacks, Eleanor to use the restroom, and Nanami to keep an eye on her. He always had his sword handy, just in case. Nanami scouted out the restroom before letting her go in. As they passed each other, they both stopped to look at each other for a second, and without saying a single word, went about their way. He stood outside as she closed the door behind her. He felt so embarrassed. She felt so ashamed.

About a minute later, Nanami heard her scream. He quickly unsheathed his sword and rushed in. He looked around frantically, and was met with the sight of her crouching in a corner of the stall.

“Eleanor, what’s the matter?! Are you alright?!,” he asked, desperation in his voice.

Eleanor slowly turned around, and held her hands out to Nanami. Sitting on her palms, perfectly perked up was a tiny mouse. Nanami looked down at the mouse in disbelief, and then looked up to meet Eleanor’s eyes. She was looking down at the mouse...GUSHING.

“It’s so stinkin cuuuuuuuuteeee!!!!!,” Eleanor proclaimed, giddy. Nanami lowered his sword and sighed in relief. “Please set it down and wash your hands, that is a rodent, and who knows where it’s been,” he said before composing himself.

She shot him a glare, and slowly placed the critter down. It ran away almost immediately after touching the ground, and bolted towards a hole in the wall behind the toilet. They both stared at the direction it ran for a good while in silence, before she finally broke the tension, “Nanami, I apologize if I made things awkward between us. We were having such a pleasant night, and I didn’t mean to upset you or make you uncomfortable. If you wish not to speak to me the rest of the trip, I completely understand…” Her statement was immediately interrupted when she felt her hands cupped together in a tight grip. She looked over at Nanami, who was firmly grasping both of her hands in his, and lifted them towards his chest.

“You did no such thing. It is I who must make amends. I shouldn’t have been so bold and so disrespectful.” Nanami’s eyes were apologetic and his stare was so soft. His hands were strong, but gentle at the same time. Eleanor’s could hear her heartbeat thumping through her chest. And even more so, she could FEEL her heartbeat pumping blood through her entire body. Her cheeks flushed red as he held her hands in his, and if it were not for her being flustered, she could faintly feel his heartbeat through his chest also. She finally looked up into his eyes, hers wide and almost dewy. He stared back and immediately let go of her. He stepped back abruptly and bumped into the restroom wall directly in front of the stall where the small rodent had run into.

“Forgive me. I should not take such liberties with you. I will give you your space for the rest of the trip.” He turned to leave before being halted by the soft tug of Eleanor’s hand on his. He didn’t turn, for fear of what he might do if he saw her face in this moment.

“Kento, I don’t want us to spend my last few hours of free will in this awkward situation. Can we start over? Your friendship is the only thing that’s been keeping me sane throughout this entire ordeal. Even if being my friend isn’t what you wish, could you grant me that kindness? Even if you must pretend, could you do that for me?” Eleanor pleads, before Nanami responds without turning around, “I don’t have to pretend, Eleanor. Your company is pleasant to me, as well.” He grips her hand tighter, “Nothing would make me happier than to be your last friend.”

He almost decided to turn around and face her, but at that moment, he felt the slight pressure of his growing member on his waistband, and the tickle of the fabric rubbing on his tip. Her touch alone was enough to push him over the edge. He could feel the precum start to slowly ooze out of his cock, and he felt like electricity sparked all through his entire body. In that moment, he knew he would do anything for her, should she ask.

He let go of her hand and proceeded to walk out. “Handle your business, I will be standing outside. Holler if you need us.” He shut the door behind him

Eleanor looks down at her hand, and sees it regaining color as the blood rushes back in. His fingers left a subtle print on her palm. She smiled and entered the stall.

Nanami steps outside and gets startled at the sight of Gojo standing at the entrance, sipping on a drink, and with the widest grin he’s ever seen on his smug face.

“Nanamiiiinnn,” he says playfully, “Oh Nanamin. You are absolutely flushed. What’s got you so red?” Nanami looks down at his hands for a second, then looks back up at Gojo. He can see in his face that he was probably waiting for a raunchy story to be told.

“She forgot to wash her hands.” Nanami says as he walks into the men’s restroom.

[markberries]

j u s t  f r i e n d s┊cedric diggory

anons requested:

HIII :) i havent seen that much cedric fluff/smut lol cedric is literally my comfort character 🤠 if ur requests are open could you write a fluff/smut? i literally dont mind what kind i just WANT MORE CEDRIC FANFICTION CAUSE THERE IS BARELY ANYYY :((

HellO! I love ur work can I request you make like a Cedric x F reader hufflepuff, friends to lovers, fluff and smut. I know it's vv vague but go off. I just want cedric content i love him sm :,)

info:  cedric diggory was your best friend, nothing more, but when he tells you about an upcoming date, you start to question that.

genre: fluff, some angst, SMUT, fem reader, hufflepuff reader, friends to lovers

warnings: so much smut, oral (receiving), cursing

word count: 5.7k+

a/n: HIIIII i was able to complete 2 reqs in 1! this was long overdue but i hope you like it,, also i edited the first half and just gave up on the second half GHFHJFSG

cedric diggory was your best friend.

he smelt of vanilla, his voice warm, flowing smoothly like honey. his presence gave you a sense of comfort, almost as if he was home. his eyes were a slight grey, full of wonder, color like a foggy autumn night, or the clouds that filled the sky on the day you two had met. his brown hair, always effortlessly styled, never failing to make girls swoon when he ran his fingers through it. and his smile — god, his smile.

adored by most and kind to all, you truly believed that cedric diggory deserved the world. it was impossible for any girl to get a glimpse of him and not feel their heart flutter.

the good-natured overachiever was your best friend because you hadn’t developed any romantic feelings for him, despite his good looks and unforgettable, lovable attitude. you knew that you wouldn’t have been friends with him in the first place if you felt the same way as the hundreds of other girls who yearned for cedric diggory, so the day he told you that he had a date, you were unsure of why there was a slight pang of pain that struck your heart.

“finally,” you sighed in relief, a playful tone hidden in your voice as you wiped fake sweat off of your forehead. the sound of your heartbeat felt like it was louder than the crackling of the hufflepuff common room’s fireplace, and you weren’t sure if it was in your head or not.

the both of you sat on the snug fabric couch that was placed right in front of the small flames, the cushions soft. cedric shoved you playfully, making you jokingly hold your arm in pain. cedric muttered a “shut up,” a smile on his face as he looked down in his lap. you stuck your tongue out at him, scrunching up your nose.

the fidgeting of your fingers went unnoticed as you smiled at him, a sense of dread washing over you as you began to think about how his date might go. you remained unassertive of why these negative emotions swallowed you whole, reassuring yourself that it was probably just because you were afraid of losing your best friend.

“seriously though, i’m really happy for you,” you say, patting his shoulder lightly. somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew were lying, you knew that you wanted to say “please, don’t go on that date,” but you ignored it. 

“i just don’t know what to do! or wear, or say,” he complained, waving his arms around, before falling back and relaxing on the couch. “do you think i’ll mess this up?”

no cedric, you’re perfect.

“yeah, you’re an idiot,” you lie, making cedric kick your leg. “you know i’m only joking, if you want, i’ll help you choose an outfit.”

cedric shot up, his hands on either side of his body as he looked at you with joy filled eyes. 

“really? you’ll help me?”

you laugh, “that’s what friends are for, idiot.”

you hated every bit of how your conversation was going. you felt like the more you two discussed about his upcoming date with cho chang, the longer that stinging pain stuck to you. you didn’t know what you wanted to do, you didn’t know if you wanted to cry, scream, yell, it was all left a mystery to you as cedric’s excited voice talked about how amazing cho was.

“she’s smart — and i mean, smart smart; and beautiful, wow, she really is beautiful. i’ve never met someone like her.”

you continued to smile and nod, enduring the ache that stayed with you the entire time. before, you were confident that you would never gain feelings for cedric, but now, you weren’t so reliant of your previous beliefs as the lurking torment hit you.

“well, can you blame her? she’s a ravenclaw,” you gave him a nonchalant reply, crossing your legs as you played with your wand.

“but she’s different, you know?” he went on and on, while you had an internal battle with yourself. you thought you were different. you hoped that you were different. but, you guessed, not to cedric.

“i’m getting tired,” you yawned, trying to get yourself out of this situation. you weren’t really tired, you just didn’t want to hear anymore of cedric talking about how cho was his dream girl. you wished that he would talk about you like he did her.

“really? it’s only eight o’clock,” he raised an eyebrow at you, smirking. you nodded, stretching your arms and standing up. you stood in your penguin pajama pants and an oversized tee, waving to him.

“i’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? and i’ll help you with your date,” you say, regretting the statement you made about how you would assist him in preparing for his date. 

“wait!” he quickly stood up, walking towards you and wrapping his arms around you for a hug. you froze for a moment, before melting into his touch. “thank you, y/n, for being such an amazing best friend.”

he placed his chin on the top of your head, while you buried your face into his shoulder.

“of course.”

while you headed up to bed, your loud thoughts echoed throughout your mind. you were rubbing your eyes, stifling your soft cries so you wouldn’t wake up your roommate. you crawled into your bed, wrapping the blanket around you, silent cries escaping your lips.

it was like a cliche love story, the girl finally realizes she has been in love with her best friend this entire time, only to be met with unintentional rejection. it hurt, of course it hurt. you were beginning to register that you wanted be cedric’s, you wanted him to be yours, but it was impossible. he had eyes on another.

—

the next day was even more dreadful than the previous, you woke up in a bad mood, lazily putting on your uniform and making your way to breakfast. cedric was quick to catch you on the way there, attempting to scare you from behind.

“boo!”

you turned and slapped cedric, who now, regretted his horrible effort to spook you. 

“don’t do that!” you whisper-shouted at him, and he raised his hands, surrendering. “sorry, sorry. forgot about last year.”

last year, you repeatedly told cedric about how much you hated being jump scared. it was no surprise that the idiot had forgotten. you giggled, cedric infamous laugh following your own. he began to walk side by side with you, continuing your conversation from yesterday.

“so.... you’re still going to help me, right?”

you wished you could say no, you wanted so badly to say no, but you knew you couldn’t. his happiness counted too, not just your own.

“with your fashion sense? do you think i have a choice?” you teased, squinting your eyes at him. you two entered the dining hall, every student was talking to another, some girls watching you and cedric walk by. you spotted cho across the room, cedric also seeing her. he waved at her, a smile on his face as she waved back.

you sighed internally, sitting down at the dining table. cedric sat down as well, but still kept his eyes on cho.

“what the hell are you doing?” you asked, grabbing an apple on the table. 

“me? nothing,” he replied back, resting his head on his hand as he stared at her in awe, you were tempted to slap him again, but you held back that said urge. your fingers traced the creases in the wood as your best friend eyed his crush, and you wanted nothing more than to leave the room.

“hey y/n are-”

“yes, i get it. cho is beautiful. she’s smart. i heard you the first thousand times.”

you turned to glare at cedric, who was looking at you, concerned. “no, i was going to ask if you were okay.”

your cheeks turned a light pink as you felt butterflies erupting in your stomach. you smiled at him, “sorry. just a little tired, i didn’t get much sleep. i’m alright.”

it was a half-lie, but you couldn’t risk telling cedric the truth. you were so sure that it would be the end of your amazing friendship, he would never look at you the same, and you weren’t sure if you could get over your feelings. you were stuck, in this in-between state of mind, one side of you begging to let your confession out, while the other just stayed quiet.

so yes, you caved into yourself and lied, but your only problem was that cedric knew that you were lying. there was no way of hiding it from your best friend, even if you thought you were concealing it well.

“hey cedric.”

the voice of the seemingly irritating asian ravenclaw snapped you out of your thoughts, and you immediately pivoted your head to look at her. cedric was already standing, looking at cho.

“hey y/n,” she smiled at you, and you replied back with a small awkward wave of your hand, a fake smile on your face before you turned back around to roll your eyes. your face scrunched up, biting into your apple as the two lovebirds talked behind you.

every word that came out of her mouth, every compliment he gave her, every giggle you heard, it made you want to turn around and walk out. jealousy was an ugly emotion, and you never thought that you’d actually get a chance to experience it, but here you were, annoyed out of your mind.

you waited for what felt like hours, for their talking to be over (it was really only a few minutes), time felt especially slow when they began to flirt about their upcoming date tonight.

“so, i’ll see you after classes then?” cedric asked her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“of course.”

cedric watched her walk away, gazing at her with those ever so beautiful eyes of his, taking a deep breath before sitting back down.

by the time cedric sat down, you were already getting up from the table, with a loss of apetite. cedric glanced at the single bite you took out of your apple, then glancing back up at you.

“hey, how do you expect to grow if you don’t eat?” he joked, earning a pissed off face from you, who only said, “i’m not hungry.”

you walked off without him, muttering to yourself meaningless thoughts. although cedric was worried about your sudden shift of attitude and demeanor, he decided to leave you some time to yourself.

you were already halfway to class, wondering what the hell you had done in your past life to receive this emotional torture. you groaned, looking down at your shoes. 

“you alright there, y/n?” a familiar voice called out to you, running up to you. it was ron weasley, an idiot, but a good friend of yours. you turned your head to him, saying, “no, i’m not.”

“spit it out, then,” ron says, lightly bumping shoulders with you. you let out an exhale, grasping at your wand in your right hand, your tote bag slung over your left shoulder. “are you going to take all day? i want to at least make it to potions before snape sends me to detention again.”

“fine, fine,” you whine to him, “you know cedric?”

“no — is that a food? are you mad? everyone knows cedric,” he exclaims. “there’s no one in this bloody school who doesn’t know who he is.”

you sneer, pinching his arm while he cries out a small “ow”. 

“so,” you start, avoiding eye contact so you wouldn’t have to see ron’s reaction. “him and cho have a date tonight. i know, not a big deal, but you see, i kind of started to fancy him.”

“i knew it.”

“be quiet.”

ron lets out a snicker at your quick reply, but he shuts himself up as you snap your head at him to give him a death glare. 

“are you planning on telling diggory at all?” he questions, and you immediately shake your head, your eyes wide, imagining everything that could go wrong.

“what would he think of me? it would make the situation much worse,” you explain to him, and he nods, trying to understand how you were currently feeling. 

approaching his potions class, ron gives your arm a little squeeze.

“well you know, someone must find you attractive, even someone as ugly as y-” his voice is cut off by you kicking him in the shin, and he yelps out, while you giggle. 

“get to class.”

your face drops when you hear cho’s and cedric’s voices echoing behind you, and you feel a part of your heart clench. it doesn’t take you long to walk as fast as you can so they don’t spot you, your shoes clicking against the concrete floor.

—

“how’s this?”

cedric stood in front of you with a white dress shirt, black dress pants, with a black leather belt wrapped around the waist. his shiny black shoes tapping against the floor anxiously, the sleeves of his shirt neatly rolled up. he put a slight amount of gel in his hair, he looked amazing.

if anything, the more you stared at him, the more you regretted offering to help him get dressed for his outing. your stomach did twists and turns as his eyes bored into your own, searching for approval.

he had a nervous smile on his face, the kind of smile you wished you had caused. you wanted nothing more than to be happy for him, for he had finally found a girl he actually liked. the only thing that had you upset, was that you weren’t that girl.

“you look,” you pause for a moment, taking him in. you gained a whiff of his natural scent, before exhaling slowly.

“stupid.”

his eyes widen in horror, rushing to go find new clothes. you erupt in chuckles, grabbing his arm.

“i’m just kidding, you look great, now go!” you exclaim, but cedric freezes, sitting down on his bed. he looks like he’s in thought, but his exact mindset wasn’t clear to you.

you sit down next to him, the bed cushion sinking. placing a hand on his shoulder, you ask him, “are you alright?”

“i don’t know, i’ve just never really felt like this for someone, i feel like i’ll mess it up,” his head turns to you, with a neutral facial expression. “what if i do something wrong? do you think she’ll stop liking me?”

“listen to me diggory, every girl i know has a tiny crush on you, i’m sure cho is crazy about you, and i doubt that there’s anything you can possibly do to mess tonight up,” you beam, patting his back. “unless you kill her.”

“i just don’t want to miss my chance with someone like her.”

there’s something that hits you when cedric says that — maybe it’s the fact that cedric would never see you in a romantic way is finally setting in, or the thought of never being able to compare to a girl like cho, or maybe you’re finally understanding you have been in love with cedric for longer than you thought, or maybe it was all of those reasons. something makes you want to crash into a fit of sobs, or maybe a chorus of silent cries.

for cedric’s happiness, you decide it was better to hide you’re sadness, that was slowly eating you up bit by bit, or at least, attempt to hide it.

“trust me, i’m sure she’ll love every bit of tonight. and if she doesn’t, well, i can surely take her head on.”

and here came his beautiful, mesmerizing, bright grin. he enveloped you into a hug, smiling to himself. “you really are my best friend.”

“yeah, i am, aren’t i?”

he lets go, standing up from his previous spot on the bed, dusting off his shirt.

“time to go, diggory,” you say to him, pushing him out the room, the door making a slight creak as you open it.

“thank you, y/n,” he grins, and you shut the door, but not before pressuring him to leave faster. your back is pressed against the cool wooden material as you slide down it slowly, burying your face in your hands as you are being swallowed whole by the everlasting feeling of unwanted rejection.

although cedric had no clue that he had technically rejected you, there was still a fresh feeling of heartbreak within you.

you felt vulnerable, like you were out of control, and that you couldn’t change anything.

there were so many thoughts running through your mind, you barely realized that you had got up and reached for the door handle, twisting it open, and pacing down the hall to where cedric was walking.

before realizing what you were doing, you grabbed cedric by the wrist, making him turn to you. you cut him off in the middle of saying your name, pressing your soft lips against his own.

you screwed your eyes shut, unaware of your own actions, while cedric stood there, eyes wide open in shock. he was frozen, unbeknownst of what to do.

when you slowly backed away from him, you swear you just wanted someone to put you out of your misery, right there. cedric was sputtering words, trying to form a proper sentence, while you were on the verge of tears.

“o-oh my god, i didn’t- shit, i’m so sorry cedric,” you were shaking, bringing your hands to cover your mouth, “just go on your date. this was a mistake- i uh, i’ve got to go.”

you took off fast walking to your dorm, trying your best to forget about the moment that happened seconds before. the adrenaline that was previously pumping through your veins was slowly beginning to wear off as you slammed your dorm room’s door shut, you let out a quiet wail. you quickly got yourself under the covers, gripping at the cotton sheets.

that night, you barely got any sleep, as the only thing keeping you awake was the thought of tomorrow.

—

there’s a soft knock on your door the following day, and you immediately huff in frustration, burying your head further into your pillow.

“go away!” you shout, your voice muffled by the fabric. ron calls your name from behind the wooden walls, ushering you to let him in.

“you can’t just stay in there forever!”

“yes i can, watch me,” you say back, hearing the door opening, followed by ron’s footsteps. he pokes you, repeatedly, purposely trying to irritate you.

“the professors are going to kill you if you don’t show up to your classes,” he scolded. you turn to look at him, the left side of your face still in the pillow. grabbing another pillow beside you, you toss it at his face.

“i don’t care,” you huff, finally turning over to lay on your back. “leave me alone, weasley.”

“i brought you something to eat, you can’t starve yourself,” he muttered, placing a plate of food on your nightstand. the sun shined bright into your window, birds chirping from the school grounds.

ron sighed, “could you at least tell me what happened?”

you gulp, frowning.

“i kissed cedric.”

“could you repeat that one more time?”

“i... kissed... cedric. right before he left for his date.”

“huh!?” ron squeaked, standing up. “what happened to the whole ‘i’m not telling him’ thing?”

“i know!” you snivelled, the feeling of guilt overwhelming you. “i really don’t know what i was thinking.. i just can’t face him right now.”

as if he was right on time, you hear cedric call your name from behind your dorm room door. he’s about to turn the knob, but you jump out of bed to prevent him from opening it.

“please let me in,” he says softly, his forehead pressed against the wood. “we really need to talk.”

“there’s nothing i want to talk about, diggory,” you say back, and ron laughs at your current struggle.

“ron, i swear to god-“

“weasley is in there with you? please, let me in!” cedric tries his best to convince ron to get you out of the way, but you’re prepared to throw the plate of food that ron had gotten you, and ron was not risking that.

“y/n-“

“i don’t want to talk, okay? please leave.”

the room goes quiet for a moment, no talking, no giggles from ron, it’s simply just silent. you hear cedric audibly sigh, before walking away.

you can imagine cedric’s distressed face as his frustration is always visible, and you really wanted nothing more than to go out and hug him, but you couldn’t. not after last night.

“you really do need to talk to him, though,” ron comments as you breathe heavily.

“i-i know, just not yet.”

—

hours after waking up from your hell-induced “sleep”, you finally got the energy to go to your last period, as you had told your professors from earlier classes that you were in terrible condition (you told them you had gotten food poisoning), and they were surprisingly, understanding.

you were battling with the ideas of speaking to diggory or never facing him again, and to be honest, you were liking the latter option a lot more than the first.

each time you spotted him through the day, there was something that felt like a small pinch within you, followed by a longing to talk to him again. you would quickly avert your eyes, or rush to make sure you weren’t in his line of sight, either way, you felt empty.

the worse was when you had just got out of class, only to walk a few steps down the hall, to see him talking to cho, taking her hands into his own, a soft expression on his face as he spoke to her. it’s almost like you could hear an audible shatter come from your heart. you shut your eyes, turning back to the way you came, your head hanging low.

you were so exhausted, physically and emotionally. dodging cedric at all costs, studying for upcoming tests, and losing hope in regaining your friendship with him.

you walked to the gryffindor common room to rant to ron, as he seemed like the only person you could talk to right now.

“i see you actually got out of bed,” he comments, leaning back on the red sofa. you placed your bag on the coffee table, plopping down next to him.

“surprising, right?” you say sarcastically. “but i didn’t come here to be criticized by you.”

you cross your arms over your chest, placing yourself deep in thought as you tried to calm yourself down. you rubbed your temples, trying to think of some sort of solution to end your torture.

“talked to diggory yet?” he asks, writing something down in his notebook. your posture becomes rigid, a pinched expression on your face as you shake your head “no”.

“y/n.. you have to at least to explain to him about what happened last night.”

your fingers begin to fidget, and you stare down at them. “i don’t even know what i was thinking, to be honest. so what am i supposed to tell him?”

“well,” ron trails, “you can start by saying that you like-”

ron doesn’t get to finish his sentence, as someone shouts his name from beyond the gryffindor common room. you immediately recognize the voice, scrambling to hide behind the couch as to not be seen.

seconds later, cedric comes in, a bothered look im his eyes as he approaches the red haired boy.

“hey ron, have you talked to y/n at all?” he asks him, his hair disheveled as you take a peek from behind the couch. he still looked amazing to you.

“yeah i have,” ron replies, nodding, but it’s tight — as if he’s holding something he wants to say back, and cedric is quick to notice it. he’s always been able to see those tiny details hidden behind a person’s actions.

“uh, okay.. and do you know where she is?”

ron looks to the couch, then back at cedric, “yeah, she’s behind the couch hiding from you.”

you freeze, your eyes going wide. you slowly stand up, awkwardly scratching the back of you neck, followed by nervous laughter. 

“h-hey! i was just leaving,” you’re at a loss for words, eyeing both cedric and ron. you let out another uncomfortable “haha”, before darting towards the door. cedric is yelling your name, following close behind. you’re able to make it towards your doom room, where luckily, your roommate was too busy having a sleepover with another hufflepuff to be there.

“y/n!” cedric catches the door before you’re able to close it, forcing himself inside. you swiftly turn around to face him, staring intently. your hands were clenched into fists, your legs barely being able to keep you up as you felt something weaken in your knees.

“we need to talk,” he says, sternly. your face is a bright red, almost at a loss for words.

“what’s there to say?” you retort, crossing your arms, then sitting on your bed. you try your best to avert your gaze from his, staring at anything but his face.

“please, y/n,” cedric pleads, taking a step closer to you. “what happened last night?”

“it’s really not important, cedric,” your breath hitches, as he was standing directly in front of you. you gathered the courage to look into his eyes, regretting it almost immediately, for they were filled with sorrow, glimmering within the cold moonlight.

the light of the bedroom remained off, you were sure that if you saw cedric’s face properly, you would lose the ability to speak.

“you can’t keep running away,” he tells you, placing a hand on your shoulder and bending down so he was at eye level with you.

you shrug his hand off, crossing your arms, “who said i was running?”

“y/n,” he starts with a small chuckle, “you just sprinted away from me a minute ago.”

“but the reason i chased after you was because we need to speak about the kiss.”

your body becomes stiff, you wanted to curl into a ball on the spot, biting your lip.

“we can’t.”

he sits next to you, taking your hands into his. “but why not? there isn’t any reason for us to not speak-“

“because,” you say in a small voice, “you like cho. she likes you. i don’t want to be the one to ruin that. it’s selfish, i know, but you deserve her.”

cedric stands, running a hand through his hair. “but that’s the thing, y/n! i don’t know anymore. i don’t know who i like — if i even really like cho after last night, it’s just so... confusing.”

“how the hell is it confusing?” you question him.

“don’t you understand? everything is just so, mixed up. after you kissed me, during my entire night, i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

you feel the tip of your ears grow warm as the pace of your heartbeat grew.

“cedric—”

“please listen to me. think about how i feel right now. i liked you for at least six months, but you always told me the reason we were friends was because of the lack of romanticism between us, so i moved on, i mean, i tried to. but then, that kiss. it just changed so much, and i didn’t know what to tell cho—“

“weren’t you talking to her today? i saw you two together,” he continues pacing the wooden floors, stressed.

“i needed to tell her that things were complicated and about how i didn’t think she was right for me,” he tells you, and you stand up to poke him playfully in the chest, as if nothing was going on.

“you,” poke.

“did,” poke.

“what!?” poke.

“i, uh, um..” he doesn’t know what to say, frantically searching for the right words, but then throwing his hands up in defeat.

“it would be better if i just did this,” within seconds, he’s cupping your face, pressing his plump lips onto yours. they tasted of his fruity chapstick, and you liked the way he moved.

finally, you registered that diggory was actually kissing you. he was the one that initiated it, he was the one running his hands down your body as your hands gripped at his brown locks.

he bites your lip, and you let out a small mewl. he slips his tongue in, dominating against your own, all while removing his robe. he backs up, keeping your lips locked while shutting the door.

you remove your own robe, palming the bulge in his pants. he groans into your mouth, the wetness building in your heat.

he’s quick to switch the roles, your back on the door instead of his. he breaks from the kiss, panting. your foreheads rest against each others, staring into each others’ eyes.

“i need you to tell me,” he says in between breaths, his skin glowing in the moonlight. “do you want this?”

you nod desperately, “yes.”

“good, because i do too.”

he grabs you by the waist, picking you up to toss you on the bed. he’s standing over you, looking down at you with a smug smirk on his face, before peeling off his top.

“enjoying the view?” he raises a brow, and you can’t help but let out a laugh.

“mhm, i guess i’m next,” you reply, sitting up to unbutton your shirt. you make sure to begin slowly, cedric watching your fingers intently. you part your lips, removing the sticky clothing, leaving you in your undergarments and your skirt.

you bite your lip, looking up at him. he brings his lips to your ear, dragging his finger down your cleavage. “i need you to do something for me, baby. i need you to take off everything so i can make you feel good, is that okay?”

your stomach begins to do somersaults, and you comply to cedric with no hesitations, dragging the black fabric of your skirt down and tossing it somewhere in the room. next, you unclip your black bra and take off your panties, throwing them in the general direction of your skirt.

he admires you, who’s now laying down on the bed. you grow a little shy, but remind yourself that this is cedric, this is your best friend. he lowers himself to face your pussy, dragging his finger through your folds.

“let me take care of you, baby.”

with that, he trails a stripe through your heat with his tongue, a quiet moan escaping your lips.

“you’re so cute, writhing from just a bit of contact,” he grins, his hot breath fanning against you. “now what if i did this—“

he places his lips against your clit, sucking gently.

“cedric— ah,” you say, and he moans against you. he sucks harder this time, bringing his hand to your entrance, he sticks a finger inside at the same time.

“oh god,” you sigh, arching your back. you bring a hand to cedric’s hair, the other hand gripping at the sheets under you. his teeth grazes your bundle of nerves, making you shiver. the feeling of his mouth against you was addicting, his finger moving in and out of you at a fast pace combining with that lead to a familiar building up of pleasure within you.

“cedric, p-please,” you mewl, his free hand holding one of your thighs. you began to feel warm, crying out the boy’s name over and over again.

“come, baby.”

your body went stiff, your orgasm washing over you as you began to relax. your breathing was heavy as cedric stood up, looking at you. you smiled, shutting your eyes.

“can you do it one more time?” you hear him ask, and you swallow, nodding your head.

“yes i can.”

he began reaching for the emergency condom hidden in his back pocket, undoing his belt, the sound of the metal buckle hitting the floor as he kicked his pants and boxers off. he ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling it on the tip. you opened your eyes, watching as he crawled on top of you.

he smiles, kissing your forehead with a loving look in his eyes. “ready?”

you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him. “whenever you are.”

finally, he begins to enter you, slowly, making sure it isn’t painful. you moan loudly, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you didn’t care about how sensitive you were from your previous orgasm, all you could think about was how good you felt. his dick reached deep inside of you, expanding your pulsing walls.

he took this as a cue to movs, creating a steady pace as he let out a breathy groan every time he thrusted.

“fuck, you feel so good,” he praised, thrusting deeper. he would pull all the way out, before slamming back in. his hands were on either side of your head.

you were overwhelmed with pleasure, moaning his name and gasping when he would go deeper than expected. he whispered filth into your ear, talking quietly about how much he enjoyed fucking you, or how beautiful you looked under him.

your sinful cries bounced off the walls, sweat dripping down your bodies. you began preparing for his orgasm, as well as your own as he sped up. you clenched around his dick, making him groan louder. you threw your head back, your hips moving to meet his thrusts.

“holy shit, oh fuck, i’m gonna come,” he growled, kissing you hungrily. you moaned his name into the kiss, digging your fingernails into his back. he buried his head into the crook of your neck, shouting curses as the two of you lost yourselves in an erruption of bliss, only thinking about each other. your cries of his name was a symphony to his ears as he thrusted one last time, moaning loudly.

it ended in heavy breathing and gasps for air as he turned over to lay beside you. cedric removes the condom, tossing it onto the ground. he looks over to you, who was already looking at him.

“does this mean you like me?” you ask, and he lets out his amazing laugh.

“yes, i like you.”

you smile, “also i had no idea you could do that.”

“neither did i.”

[izumiyagami14]

longing

enlightenmonth // [day 5-8] hug or longing Summary: While waiting for Taichi to come back from his soccer game, Koushiro fights a feeling unknown to him. Hikari, on the other hand, decides to keep him company.

Discordant clicks and taps of the keyboard tuned out the television broadcasting in the background. The tedious ticks of the laptop were coming from the boy sitting criss cross on the couch. Koushiro continued to type, preoccupied by tonight’s lingering thoughts.

He was asked to stay the night by Taichi to work on something “Digidestined” related, but he was running late from his soccer game. He stopped typing for a second to look at his watch. It was 8:26pm. What is taking him so long? How is he still out at this time of night? He thought to himself as he continued back to his work.

Being an introvert, Koushiro enjoyed the silence that rested peacefully upon the room, knowing that it will instantly change the moment his friend came barging through the front door. The background noise from the television was a nice reminder that he was alone with his work. Or so he thought...

Soft, cushioned footsteps slowly patted on the hallway floor and into the kitchen, causing his heart to jump a beat. He instantly stopped working on his computer to listen. Inaudible mumbles were carried from the kitchen to the living room the boy was sittting in. How could I forget she was here? She let me into the house in the first place.

Staying on the couch, he straightened his hunched over back and peered over to the direction of where the sound was coming from. He saw the silhouette of the girl reaching for a something on one the cabinet shelves and pulling down two completely different shaped mugs. She then took the mugs and turned to the tea kettle next to the stove. As she started preparing the tea, she hummed an unrecognizable tune to herself.

As he continued to quietly observe what Hikari was doing in the kitchen, Koushiro’s heart started pacing. He felt his hands get clammy when she grabbed the tea kettle of freshly brewed tea. As she continued to hum the song that was stuck in her head, she swayed left to right, pouring the tea into the two mugs. The sight caused a smile to unknowingly grow on Koushiro’s face.

It was then when Hikari turned her head to meet his lingering gaze. She smiled and gave him a small wave. Instead of simply returning the wave, Koushiro’s heart stopped, fumbling with his laptop and adverting his eyes downward. His heart rate drastically increased when he heard her footsteps grow louder. He was too nervous to look up at the girl who entered the room, but he quickly glanced up anyways.

Hikari was standing there in an oversized pale pink shirt that was partially tucked into her purple pajama shorts, holding a mug in each hand. His breath hitched, deciding it was best to look back down at his computer. She slowly shuffled with her fuzzy socks to where the boy was sitting and placed one mug on a coaster from the cofffee table in front of him. “Here,” she giggled. “I made us some tea. I heard it is good Koala-tea.”

Koushiro gave her a puzzled look until she turned the mug so he could see the design. It showed a happy little koala holding a mug with the play-on words at the bottom. “Oh, I get it. Koala-tea. Quality,” He responded stiffly, trying to keep his focus on the laptop in his lap.

“Yes, and mine is tea-rific!” She exclaimed, gesturing to her mug. It had a image of a giddy mug, shouting how terrific the tea was. Before Koushiro could respond, she changed the subject. “Taichi’s game went into double overtime so he should be a little late coming home.”

Koushiro hummed in response, not wavering his attention on the computer. And with that response, she scooted away, back into the bedroom, leaving him back to the silence and his wandering thoughts.

He took a sip of the tea that was made and then rested his hands on the keyboard. His hands were supposed to take control of his work, but his mind started to overcome his actions. The silence that now rested upon the room felt different. It once gave him peace a minute ago, but now it felt like a piece was missing. He scratched his cheek with his hand. How could the mood of the room change so quickly? He looked around the room to see if there were any variables to cause it to change.

He still sat criss cross on the couch. The television was still broadcasting the news. The laptop was still open, ready to be used. Maybe it’s the tea? He thought to himself as he picked up the mug and took another sip. No, that’s not it... He didn’t know why, but he had a different feeling from before. At first when he started his work, he yearned for silence, but now, he craved for something else. The dilemma in his mind now was that he didn’t know what this feeling was for.

He moved his laptop from the middle of his lap to one of his legs. Raking his hands through his frizzy red hair, he grumbled to himself. Not knowing the unknown was frustrating.

“You okay, Koushiro?” A voice came from the end of the hallway. He looked up to see Hikari wrapped head to toe in a fuzzy blanket.

His heart jumped again. He guessed that he didn’t hear her go back to the kitchen to put her mug back. He sighed to himself and looked back at the computer. “Yeah, I am fine. Just a little frustrated.”

“Why is that?”

“I honestly don’t know. That’s probably why I am.”

“Is it alright if I join you?” She asked, moving the blanket from over her head to around her shoulders.

The typing of the keyboard slowly started up again when he hummed in response.

She trotted over, blanket in hand, and gently sat down next to him on the couch. She took a deep breath and let out a long yawn. Adjusting the blanket to wrap around her small body, she proceeded to lay down, resting her head lightly on the boy’s lap.

Koushiro’s whole body tensed up and he held his breath. His mind went into overdrive, thinking about the situation, his options, and the scenarios that could play out if her brother was to walk through the door. “What are you dong?” He managed to muster.

“Keeping you company, silly. I thought that was obvious.” She said quietly.

He couldn’t think of a good response to that. He was too focused on his heart racing from her close proximity. The scent of cherry blossoms hit his nose and he was sure that his brain officially malfunctioned.

“Relax. It’s just me,” She whispered as she closed her eyes. “Go back to your work. I won’t bother you.”

Koushiro let out his unknowingly held breath and looked down at the girl next to him. She was slowly breathing in and out, drifting to sleep. He tried to follow suit with her breathing to calm his accelerated heart rate. He was certain that Hikari could hear it from where she rested her head.

He accepted his fate and slowly adjusted his body so he could type on his computer on one leg and leave Hikari undisturbed on the other. After twisting his body to a better position, the discordant clicks and taps of the keyboard started up again.

The ticks of the wall clock harmonized with the taps of the keyboards and the shallow breaths of the sleeping girl. After a while, Koushiro’s shoulders loosened and his heartbeat slowed. He felt his body relax, even with Hikari laying quietly next to him. Eventually, he stopped typing and looked down at her to she how she was doing. Her brown hair rested delicately on her angelic face as she laid there peacefully. A small smile found its way to his face as he admired the sight.

Out of impulse, he reached down and started brushing his hand through her soft hair. Slowly and carefully, he continued small and smooth strokes that caused Hikari to smile in her sleep. “That feels nice…” she mumbled.

Koushiro’s heart fluttered from her words, but that didn’t stop his movements. Instead, he nervously chuckled and continued to gently play with her hair with one hand while using his computer with the other.

Soft chirps of crickets and cicadas outside joined in the clock’s and computer’s harmony. The distant news report on the television quietly came to an end and a new program projected on the screen. The two souls in the living room of the Yagami residence stayed there on the couch. Hikari’s peaceful presence set Koushiro’s mind at ease as he continued to multitask. He only stopped stroking her hair when he heard a buzzing sound from his phone and answered the call.

“Hey, Koushiro! Just the man I want to talk to!” Taichi exclaimed through the phone.

“Hey, Taichi. What is all the noise in the background?” Koushiro whispered though the phone, trying desperately not to wake the girl sleeping next to him.

“We won! We won! We won! Scored the winning goal! The whole team is going out to celebrate!” Taichi continued to scream.

“That’s great. So I’m guessing you’re going to be even later then?” He continued to whisper. Koushiro moved his laptop to the arm of the couch so he could switch the phone to his other ear, away from Hikari’s face.

“Yeah! I hope that is alright with you! We can just work on what we need to more tomorrow,” he replied. “Why are you whispering?”

Koushiro started to stutter. “Well, I. I-I don’t want to wake up your family.”

“Is Hikari there?”

“I, uh. Uh, yeah. She is. She’s on the couch while I am working at the dining room table,” he lied, looking down the girl asleep on his lap. He noticed that a piece of her hair was out of place and covering the corner of her eye. Before he realized what he was doing, he began to reach his hand out toward her head and delicately brushed it away. She unknowingly smiled at his action, causing his heart to flutter once again.

“Okay, just tell her that I will be home really, really, late. You’re still welcome to stay. Just kick my sister off the couch if you need to,” Taichi laughed.

Koushiro huffed a bit, wondering how in the world he could do that. He’ll think of something. He always does. “Alright, I’ll try my best. To be honest, I will probably still be awake when you get home. Just be safe and I’ll see you soon.”

“You’re the best! Bye, Koushiro!” And with that, Taichi hung up the phone.

Koushiro took in a deep breath and analyzed his options. He didn’t mind staying like this all night, but eventually, Taichi will come home. He waited a good twenty minutes deciphering the available options before he decided his next move.

He sighed and slowly craned his head over the girl laying beside him. “Hey, Hikari…” he whispered as he lightly rubbed her arm. She grumbled his name and pulled her blanket up to her face. Koushiro’s heart skipped as he continued, “Your brother won his game. He won’t be home until much later. We need to get you to your room.”

Hikari shifted and grumbled again. “Nooo…”

He frowned at her attempt. “Yes, we do. As much as we want to stay like this, it’s better for you to get your sleep in your bed,” he quietly admitted, hoping Hikari was too tired to comprehend.

She lightly groaned at his point. “Okay,” she whispered, but put no attempt into getting up.

Koushiro moved his laptop to the coffee table in front of them. He cautiously lifted Hikari’s head and placed a pillow under it as a substitute. Slowly, he got up from his spot and looked down at the sleeping girl. With all the courage he could gather, he carefully picked her up, blanket and all, bridal style and started to carried her into her room.

As they made their way down the hallway, Hikari snuggled her face into the crook of his neck. Koushiro tried his best not to react to her action, afraid her might drop her in the process. When they made it to the destination, he slowly placed her down on her bed and brought the blanket to her shoulder.

He brushed a stray hair out of her face and said, “Goodnight, Hikari. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When he started to turn away, he felt a hand grab his. Turning back around, he saw Hikari’s eyes lock on his. “Thank you. Goodnight, Koushiro,” she whispered with a smile and let go of his hand.

He silently shut her door behind him and walked back toward the living room. When her sat back on the couch and placed his laptop back on his lap, he realized what made him frustrated before. Yes, at first when he started his work, he yearned for silence, but now, he craved for someone else. Her thoughtfulness. Her angelic face. Her happy mood. Her presence.

Koushiro realized he longed to have Hikari next to him… always.

[graysonsdarling]

in the rain

places where people kiss: in the rain

word count. 1.7k

warnings. extremely cliché kiss sjfdknkd

author’s note. i have spent WAY too much time on this thing for it to not be good... and rewritten it like 3!! times!! and i literally have to wake up early for a google meeting and im queuing this at 3:02 am rn

Dick didn’t have the slightest clue as to what drew him to you. Maybe it was your eyes, full of life and curiosity. Or had it been that smile of yours? God, that smile. It swirled butterflies in his stomach. It was blinding, but he couldn’t help but stare straight into it. If your smile was the sun, then he was Icarus. His feelings came with ease, becoming a complete free fall for him. Around you, he was warm as though he had been wrapped in a blanket of love. You sent him the same exhilarating rush that falling from a trapeze did when he was younger. Yeah, how could he not fall for you?

Even sitting in a quaint coffee shop across from you made him almost forget how to breathe. His eyes fell upon your lips and he wondered how they would feel against his. How would you kiss? Would it be soft and chaste, or passionate and needy? There was one thing he knew for sure though; it would be all-consuming. There was a faraway look in your eyes—all thoughtful and he wished to know what was going on in that pretty little head of yours. Your elbow was rested on the table as your fingers went to tuck a piece of stray hair behind your ear absentmindedly. The action made him silently wish it was him who pushed back your hair instead.

“What?” you had asked him, plush lips slightly agape.

He blinked, snapping out of his lovesick trance, hand coming up to hold his chin. “Huh?” was all that left Dick’s mouth, too caught off guard by you to form a better response. He wanted to slap himself for getting caught looking at you like a total creep. What were you doing to him?

“You’re staring.”

“Oh,” he laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

You giggled. Dick’s heart leaped out of his chest at the sound, and all he could think was that he was the reason for it. He wanted to be the reason for your laughter for the rest of time. “It’s okay, you’re not so bad on the eyes either, Grayson.”

Dick choked on his coffee, which he quickly masked with a cough. But the look on your face told him you had noticed. His ears turned a soft shade of pink. “I wasn’t—“

“I’m just teasing you, Dick. You should be very familiar with that by now—I didn’t think I could make you flustered though.” An amused smirk played on your pretty lips.

He pushed away the desperate thought of needing to kiss you to the back of his mind and rolled his eyes at you. “I’m not flustered.” Though the clear heat in his cheeks did nothing to aid his argument. He watched as you pressed your lips together in a line before taking a long sip of your drink, nodding along. He could almost hear the sarcastic quip from the look in your eyes.

Your head cocked toward the window, watching as dark gray clouds quickly enveloped the sky. “It’s going to rain.”

“When’s it not?”

His eyes met yours, an unamused look on your face from his comment, though it had soon softened. “Fair enough. Do you want to head out now so we don’t get caught in the storm?”

Not really, Dick thought. He’d rather spend all the time in the world with you. He nodded in agreement anyway. The two of you stood up and he smoothed down his clothes with his hands. After leaving a nice tip on the table, you quickly made your way out of the building. The rain began sooner than you had predicted and he felt you grab his hand, pulling him with you as you run to the nearest cab. He could only hear the loud thumping of his heart, which drowned out the sound of the pouring rain and the taps of your footsteps against the wet concrete. Once you stopped at an empty taxi, he held open the door for you to slide in. 

“Aren’t you getting in?” you asked him, looking puzzled by the way he stood in the rain, continuing to get soaked by the second.

He paused for a moment. He had planned to hail his own cab, thinking this was where you parted ways. Quickly, he rushed in next to you after hearing the cries of the taxi driver, upset that the leather in his car was getting wet. He didn’t have time to feel bad though, because his eyes trailed towards you as you began to spout off his address. Your clothes were practically soaked through, and the hair you probably spent a considerable amount of time on was stuck messily to your face. You still looked gorgeous.

The warmth of your presence enthralled him. It felt like sunshine on his skin, and he felt himself leaning into you, almost going in to close the distance between you in the back of this dingy cab that smelled a lot like little tree air fresheners. Yeah, he would rather not have his first kiss with you be in here.

You cleared your throat under his watchful gaze. Your eyes went to examine the water on your shoes before moving up to watch the little cat figurine mounted on the dash endlessly beckoning. He noted the way your hands fidgeted, switching the position of your legs every minute or so. Still, in this state of nervousness, he’s in awe of you. He wondered what would make you feel this way. Him, perhaps? Dick hoped so.

“Want to get dinner with me tomorrow?” he asked softly, words leaving his mouth without a second thought. Though his heart began to pound.

“Sounds like you’re asking me on a date,” you teased, not paying much attention to him as your gaze was now set on the car window. His eyes followed your index finger which absentmindedly traced the raindrops sliding down the glass.

“What if I am?”

He watched as your finger came to a stop. Worries instantly filled Dick’s mind. Had he fucked up? Was he wrong about all the signs? Maybe you hadn’t felt the same, making him look like a complete idiot to you and the taxi driver sat in front. A hundred different scenarios about how you’d let him down ran through his head. You were too nice and sweet to be mean about it. Instead, you would gently tell him you viewed him as a friend. Kindness was one of the things he loved about you. The thought nonetheless hurt.

There would be no turning back now. Things would be too weird after this. You wouldn’t want to see him again. Those many years of friendship? It was all thrown out the window. All because of a silly little sentence he uttered. He could hear Jason snorting at him, overly amused at the thought of playboy Dick Grayson being turned down. Nice going, Grayson.

The wait for your response felt like an eternity. An eternity of accepting the inevitable "no." His heart was hollow, and he wanted the world to swallow him whole. The bitter taste of the coffee he had came back. It overwhelmed the sweetness he felt with you earlier. He thought he got used to its harsh taste. But it came back with a foreign feeling, one he didn’t particularly enjoy. Rejection, he supposed. Dick doesn't think he could ever have another coffee again after this.

You blinked, seemingly processing his words. Maybe coming up with a carefully articulated rejection as to not hurt him? He prepared himself, ready to face rejection face first.

“Then,” you drew out, “I would say yes.”

The words reached his ears with such saccharine sweetness, almost akin to the taste of the raspberry filling of the bismark he enjoyed earlier. It was almost too good to be true, and for a second, he asked himself if it was real. He wondered if you were a hallucination and if you’d disappear if he blinked. But the beat of his heart calmed down, the breath he had been clinging onto was released with relief. He grinned widely, feeling like the luckiest person in the world right now.

His hand began to move on its own accord, almost reaching your delicate fingers before coming to a halt as the taxi driver’s gruff voice filled the air. The car came to a stop. Your head turned towards the man and you told him you were being dropped off at a different place, briefly mentioning you’d pay for the entire trip much to Dick’s objection. You quickly brushed him off. Repay me with dinner tomorrow, you had said. He reluctantly agreed, not wanting to cause the cab driver any more grief than he had already. He opened the car door, glancing back at you with a shy smile and a quick goodbye before sprinting towards his building’s doors.

But his eyes couldn’t help but linger on the shadow of you in the back window. It steadily disappeared from his sight, leaving him to continue getting drenched in the cold rain. The thought of you left a giddiness in his heart. Dick was just about to reach the cover of his building before he was tugged around, a pair of lips meeting his own feverishly. He soon melted into the sudden touch once realizing it was, in fact, you. Dick could taste the lip balm you had applied earlier in the day. The scent of it was strong as if you had reapplied it just to kiss him. Had you?

There was also the faint taste of the drink you had consumed in the coffee shop. The taste alone had never appealed to him before, but Dick thinks he could have it every day if it was off your lips. He felt your hands reach up behind his head, pulling him further towards you. His hands instinctively flew down to your waist, holding you like it’s the only chance he’ll get—still not sure if his mind is playing tricks on him or not.

Still, he’s drowning in you, and to him, it would be a death he’d gladly accept.

He yearned to have your lips touching his again, the second you broke away. His forehead pressed gently against yours, a soft reminder that you were real and right in front of him.

You exhaled, whispering as softly as the pattering of the rain, “See you tomorrow?”

[ironmandeficiency]

dropped hints never picked up

pairing: wolffe / reader

word count: 2203

summary: wolffe’s been trying to catch your attention for a while now, but you’re more oblivious than he thought you’d be. this is the last time wolffe goes to boost for advice.

req: Wolffe x reader, #15 from the prompt list?

“Hi, I’ve been subtle at hinting that I want your attention all day and you haven’t noticed once and now I’m pissed.”

a/n: i had two ppl request this prompt for wolffe and it made it all the more important to perfect this piece. i changed a couple of words but the meaning is still the same so 🤷🏻‍♀️ no beta, just me on my bullshit

79’s was crowded as always, the music loud and the smell of booze permeating the air. it was comforting when paired with the company of the wolfpack, the battalion you worked under as a medic serving as both pleasant company and a deterrent for unwanted visitors. wolffe had a hand resting on your knee, the commander occasionally giving it a soft squeeze throughout the night.

three nights prior, wolffe found himself sitting on boost’s bunk, head in his hands. for weeks he’d been grappling with the emotions running rampant through his body like a raging blurrg. they were emotions he never wanted to feel, ones he’d been trying to repress to no avail.

boost, oddly enough, seemed to know exactly why wolffe was waiting on him before the commander had even opened his mouth. wolffe wanted to make a move and boost was going to be the one to help him. he advised wolffe on ways to be subtle but still show more affection than normal, things like extra physical contact and some offhand but sweet compliments to kinda nudge things along.

it made sense to him; you weren’t one for big showy signs of affection and he wasn’t a showy kind of guy. you had a way of knowing what he wanted to say when he wasn’t in the mood to speak, seeming to pick up on his moods with a familiarity he didn’t expect to share with someone outside of his brothers or even general buir. there were times where you both would complete each other’s sentences (it was disgustingly cute in the eyes of the rest of the ‘pack) and the blood would rush to your cheeks, wolffe immediately turning away to hide his own blush.

right now you were sandwiched between wolffe and boost, the former on the outside of the booth claimed upon arrival. drinks were passed around by comet who knew how you enjoyed your fruity cocktails with the twisty straws and umbrellas and did not fail in bringing one your way. you thanked him with a smile as you took a small sip, savoring the taste of your drink as well as wolffe’s hand on your knee.

he’d gotten quite a bit more affectionate lately and seemed to be touch starved, so you didn’t comment on the uptick in contact (you didn’t want him to think you weren’t okay with it because you were plenty okay with it) as you let yourself revel in his warmth.

“wolffe, do you wanna try?” you hold your drink towards him with a soft smile. he’d confided in you several days ago that he had a sweet tooth to rival a small child and comet did bring you one of the sweeter cocktails offered at the bar.

your hands brush lightly as he takes the drink from your outstretched hand. he briefly smells the concoction before taking a sip, and judging by the soft smile on his lips he liked the pineapple mango-rita. “not bad, cyare,” he gingerly hands you back your drink, hands once again making brief contact.

“if you like that one, i think you’d also like the nubian smile. it’s a favorite of mine.”

“i’ll have to try it some time.”

then warthog mentions wolffe’s name in whatever story he’s begun and the moment’s broken.

conversation flowed as freely as the bar’s beer tap. you sipped lightly at your single drink and listened more than you spoke. there were several stories shared that you hadn’t heard before, like how sinker got his name and the time boost tried to prank commander cody, that had you laughing uncontrollably and leaning closer to wolffe’s side. he responded in kind and soon moved his hand from your knee and wrapped it around your shoulder, subconsciously pulling you into him. it was more relaxing than you would like to admit.

wildfire had finished ratting out boost for sneaking bubble wrap into dozens of bedrolls when you went to sip your drink and got surprised when the pineapple wedge bonked you on the nose instead.

your face scrunched at the prickly skin of the fruit and wolffe thought it was the cutest face he’d ever seen. the offending fruit wedge was then plucked from the rim and glared at for a brief moment as if it could feel shame for its actions.

the plan was to eat it as punishment for its crimes but wolffe had other plans, playfully snatching it from you and taking a chunk out for himself. he was smug about it, eyes holding yours captive in a “what’re you gonna do about it?” look while his mouth twisted into a playful grin.

“hey, that was mine!”

“gotta be quicker than that, dear,” he replied as he took another bite before sliding it back onto its previous perch.

everyone else at the booth was about to vomit but it wouldn’t be from the booze.

————

you were glued to wolffe’s side the rest of the night at the bar and on the way back to the barracks. neither of you had enough to drink to completely explain the constant small smiles and excessive contact, but you didn’t care. wolffe was here and might as well have been holding you and you were living for it.

he had asked to walk you to your quarters with a gentle hand in yours, thumb smoothing across your knuckles tenderly. you were so absorbed in the skin to skin contact that you could only nod in consent.

the walk there was filled with small talk and nervous touches, both of you leaning into each other without realizing that’s what you were doing. before you knew it, you were in front of your door. neither of you acknowledged the arrival until wolffe grabbed your hand in both of his, tightening his hold briefly.

“sleep well, cyare. i’ll see you tomorrow.” his voice was soft and rumbly, attesting to the late hour and the evening spent drinking.

“see you in the morning, wolffe, goodnight.”

he lifted your hand still grasped in his toward him, placing a feather-light kiss to your palm. it was the gentlest thing you’ve ever seen him do and the fact it was with you sent warmth through your veins. his eyes were locked onto yours as he placed the kiss, keeping you in place.

you were desperate to give something, to reciprocate the tender way he touched you, but he was already leaving you in front of your now-open door for the night. when did your door open? and since when was wolffe so soft towards you?

————

the goodnight kiss wasn’t acknowledged aloud after that but you both thought about it constantly. you had no idea where it came from yet your entire being seemed to yearn for him to do it again when in his presence.

since then he became more open with his affection, even holding your hand in front of his brothers (that would tease a tiny bit before being shut down with a glare that dared them to question his happiness). you responded in kind, holding his hand right back and always finding a way to him after long nights when you were all sent to one planet or another. it was pure bliss and you weren’t going to question it.

but then, while planetside somewhere in the mid-rim, he seemed to not have anything to do besides trail you in your work.

the morning (very early morning) began like many of them had started to since the night at 79’s, you cradled by wolffe’s arms where he clung to you in your sleep as if to keep you from flying away. a fellow medic seemed timid to wake you once they noticed whose arms were keeping you down, the newer woman repeating flustered apologies for the interruption as if it weren’t your job to be woken up like this.

from that moment on through the rest of day, you didn’t spend more than a minute with wolffe at a time. not for his lack of trying.

he would appear seemingly out of nowhere every couple hours or so while you were bandaging one wound or cleaning another, words precise but tone gentle.

“hey cyare, the locals invited several of us for lunch to celebrate our arrival. wondered if you wanted to come with me.”

“you’ve been on your feet for hours, come have a seat for a minute.”

“sinker was playing a game with some of the kids, you shoulda seen his face when they beat him.”

turning the invitation down hurt more than it should have, but you had too many wounded and too few hands to help you with the workload. there was nothing in you that could justify going to a dinner prepared by the people you were here to serve.

a few hours later, he brought a plate back for you so you didn’t completely miss out on eating something that wasn’t rations. it took some convincing but he was able to sit you down and get you to take a moment for yourself to eat. while you ate, he gravitated around the medtent and offered his services where he could to alleviate the guilt he knew you felt for sitting. it was touching to see him talk to the various patients so gently, the children having not an ounce of worry about the giant, strong soldier.

with more effort than you thought it would take on your end (because part of you simply didn’t want to), the commander was shooed out of the tent so you could continue to work.

a couple hours later wolffe showed up again, telling you about a beautiful view one of the scouts found while on patrol that he wanted to show you. the flowers he described were vibrant in color and scent, decorating the landscape with hues previously unknown to many of his men. he wanted to show it to you, help you relax because you had indeed been on your feet nearly the entire day.

when you turned him down yet again, his eyebrows furrowed together and he looked upset. it was a reaction you were not expecting by any means. the other times you didn’t accept his invitations he simply tucked you under his arm briefly and pressed a kiss to your temple. this change in mood was unsettling.

“wolffe, what’s wrong? talk to me.” it worried you to see him distraught, the reason unknown. approaching him slowly, you rested a hand on his shoulder that he quickly moved away, choosing instead to grip it in his a bit tighter than usual.

he took a deep breath to steady himself before answering you, trying to dispel the anger and hurt to avoid making you feel guilty. it didn’t work as well as he wanted it to because his voice was gruff when he answered. “i just-“ he took another breath to steady himself. “gods, y/n, i’ve been subtly hinting that i want your attention all day and you haven’t noticed once and i’m pissed.”

that’s what he’d been trying to do? it made so much sense now! how did you miss it?

your other hand met his that still held you, smoothing over the skin on the top of his hand in consolation. “wolffe, i’m sorry. i just got so wrapped up in work today that everything else just passed right over my head.” you felt guilty. he was only trying to help you and spend time with you and there you were just turning him down!

“and that’s why i kept trying, cyare. you work so hard and while i admire it, i would much rather you spend time with me than the bacta patches.” the smile returned to his face at your ministrations but his eyebrows didn’t soften.

something was clearly confusing him but questioning him before he had his thoughts in order would do nothing to help. so you stood with him and continued to hold his hands as he thought, hoping that whatever he was thinking about wouldn’t hurt him when fully realized.

“do you… want to spend time with me?”

you were shocked. how did he not realize that every time you didn’t go with him today you lost a little pep in your step? each time he came in, your resolve weakened and if he had pushed just a tiny bit more to get you to come with him, you would have given in. you explain this to him with a soft smile.

“i’m sorry for pushing you away today, wolffe. i’d love to go with you.”

the smile that lit up wolffe’s face could have powered the entire planet of coruscant with its radiance. “i’d love to take you, cyare.” you let the commander guide you out of the medtent and towards the promised landscape, too wrapped up in each other to notice the sergeant and lieutenant watching them.

“about damn time! shit, why did it take so long?!”

“shut up, sinker! they were trying to take it slow, be subtle about it!”

“whose dumbass idea was that?”

a pause. “mine.”

“okay, it wasn’t that dumb.”

“thank you.”

“i’m kidding, it was extremely dumb.”

[howlingsaturn]

and in your arms, i will find shelter (1.9k)

i wrote a little hurt/comfort cause the tarlos hug wouldn’t leave my mind so here you go, i guess? spoiler warning for 2x02 of lone star even though no names are dropped. also minor trigger warning for panic attacks and death (always with a happy ending though). stay safe everybody. <3

as you pry the hurt

from my aching body

and the grief

from my shaking hands

i realise

there's nothing more powerful

nothing more healing

than love

When the realisation hits, the weight on his shoulders becomes unbearable. He's surprised it doesn't bury him right where he stands. He takes a look at the rest of his team, small and quiet in the usually so joyful firehouse, and he wonders how he's supposed to survive this, how Judd and Owen can still offer words of encouragement and touches of comfort after all the loss they've suffered. It's excruciating. The whole thing. Every second of it.

Every breath he takes sends a stabbing pain through his chest and his hands start shaking so badly, he can't even ball them into fists. He feels suffocated, like the walls are closing in around him and there's no way out. He feels the sudden, overwhelming urge to run, to get as far away from this place as possible but before he can move there's a hand on his arm and fingers squeezing so hard that he winces.

"TK," his father says alarmingly and his voice sounds so far away, so frighteningly inhuman, that it sends TK into a frenzy.

"I need to go," he breathes out between clenched teeth, his heartbeat echoing in his ears like a stampede. He needs to get out of here. Right now. TK pulls his arm free and turns around, ignoring the calls of his name that follow him out of the door and then he's running. He doesn't know where his legs take him, he can barely focus on the path in front of him through his blurred vision but it doesn't matter. None of it matters. They've lost one of their own today and TK doesn't know if he can ever fully recover from that.

His legs and chest start burning, begging him to slow down and catch a breath and so his frantic run comes to an abrupt halt. He's heaving now, seemingly unable to get enough air into his lungs and it doesn't help the feeling of panic that's been sitting in his gut all day. He fears he might pass out but he manages to get his breathing under control, enough so that he can keep walking. His mind is still too chaotic to rest and there's only one place he wants to be in right now, this one person who might be able to shoulder some of that weight he carries, and so with weak knees and his heart in his throat, TK makes his way to Carlo's condo.

It doesn't take long for the familiar building to appear in his line of sight, he's covered quite a few miles with that run, but it doesn't fill him with the relief he had hoped it would. He's overwhelmed all over again.

Is he overstepping? Should he even come here this late and pull Carlos out of his sleep? He's had a tough day too, shouldn't he let him rest? He can't pour all of this grief on him unnoticed, can he? Does Carlos even know what happened?

He doesn't know what to do, torn between wanting to seek comfort and knowing he will be a burden to Carlos. He longs for him though, his gentle eyes and warm smile and TK is too tired, too upset, to deny himself of Carlos' embrace. Eventually, TK pulls out the key Carlos handed him one night, for safekeeping, he had said with a smile, and TK knew in that moment, with a frightening clarity, that Carlos was his forever, his one.

He takes a few more minutes to collect himself before he opens the door, careful to be as silent as possible in case Carlos was already asleep, and when he lets the door fall shut behind him, he surprisingly finds those brown eyes he's been aching for already locked on him. Carlos is right there, sitting in the middle of the staircase in his pyjamas, looking at TK like he was expecting him all along, and TK feels his heart swell with gratitude. As he stares at him, the pain in his chest slowly eases and he suddenly doesn't know why he was so worried about coming here. He doesn't understand why he was so insecure about seeking out Carlos' presence and asking him to deal with a pain that wasn't his own. It's so clear now, in the way Carlos wordlessly opens his arms and holds out a hand, that he will gladly shoulder some of TK's pain.

TK's legs move on their own account and he all but stumbles into Carlos' waiting embrace, reaching for whatever warmth he can find and hoping it will fill the cold that has seeped into his heart. When Carlos' arms close around him, holding the broken pieces of himself together, TK feels safe.

They stay there for a long time, neither of them talking, and TK finds comfort in the silence Carlos offers. He focuses on the strong beat of Carlos' heart against his ear, matching his own to its rhythm, and when he feels like he won't fall apart with every breath he takes, he opens his eyes and raises his head to look at Carlos. Carlos reaches for him immediately, stroking his cheek with a sad but kind smile, and TK wonders, for the millionth time, how he got so lucky. He wants to tell Carlos how grateful he is and how much he adores him but the words are stuck in his throat. He only hopes Carlos can read some of it in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Carlos finally breaks the silence, and the agony in his voice is evident. He doesn't know what else he can say, there's nothing that will make it okay. TK looks at him for a long time, eyes scanning over his boyfriend's face in a futile attempt to memorise all that he is. He's overcome with emotions, torn between gratitude and the fear of losing him.

He's lost someone today. He can lose someone else tomorrow. Time is not guaranteed, not for anyone, and he's hit with the sudden urge to create a bubble where time doesn't exist and lock the both of them in, if only for just a moment. Carlos swipes his thumb over TK's brow, seemingly having noticed his mind drifting, and TK falls back into his painful reality. He reaches for Carlos' shirt, holding onto him as if he's afraid he's going to disappear, and when he looks back into Carlos' eyes, he finds nothing but understanding.

I love you, he thinks suddenly, feverishly. I love you, I love you, I love you.

He doesn't say the words that are echoing in his head and his heart is yearning to hear, instead he pulls Carlos down and presses their lips together in a desperate kiss. Carlos reciprocates but pulls back quicker than TK would've liked, though he keeps him close, gently holding his face in the palms of his hands.

"I'm right here," he says softly, lovingly pressing a kiss to TK's forehead, and somehow that causes the dam to break. It catches TK so off guard that he can only hold onto Carlos as the waves of grief wash over him, drowning him in a series of uncontrolled and horrible sobs. He barely listens to the soothing words Carlos whispers into his ears, he's too focused on getting his breathing back under control and swallowing down the nausea that hits him. He feels the panic advance on him like a shark, pulling him back underwater and TK needs it all to stop, he can't do this anymore, his limbs are too tired to swim. He tries to tell Carlos as much but his throat produces nothing but broken hiccups. Carlos tries to soothe him, telling TK to breathe and assuring him that he's going to be okay, and after a few agonising minutes, the water finally calms.

There's nothing left of him then. TK feels wrung out and hollow and if it weren't for Carlos still holding him close, he probably would've passed out right where they sit. But Carlos is here, curling a strong arm around his back, and TK lets himself be cared for.

He doesn't remember much of what happened after his panic attack but he wakes up in a warm bed, Carlos wide awake at his side and a few strands of sunlight making their way through the blinds.

He blinks up at Carlos who's already looking at him, a worried frown between his eyes but he smiles upon noticing TK's gaze. He lets his fingers move through TK's hair in a soothing manner and something about that loving gesture makes TK feel less alienated. He's oh so thankful that Carlos is right here next to him.

"How are you feeling?" Carlos asks quietly, pulling TK out of his haze, and TK takes a few seconds to think about his question.

"I don't know. Tired, I guess. Like I've run a marathon. My head hurts. And I'm just…" he breaks off, lost in thought.

"Sad?" Carlos offers.

"Yeah," he agrees, "Sad."

"Me too," Carlos confesses and that's it. He too has lost a friend and co-worker, he too has suffered through a loss that isn't easily accepted, and all of the sudden TK feels guilty for not realising it sooner, for not being able to keep his emotions under control and checking in on Carlos. TK opens his mouth to apologise but Carlos raises a hand in warning, aware of TK's train of thought.

"Don't even think about it," he says but there's kindness behind it. "I'm okay. You were not. And that's alright, it's understandable. But you have nothing to apologise for, Ty." He says it with such conviction that TK doesn't even try to argue with him.

"I'm always here for you if you need me," Carlos adds, "It's what partners do, right?"

"Yeah, I know," he admits, "I just want you to know that I'm here for you too. If you ever need me."

Carlos smiles at him and adjusts his position on the bed so that they're on eye level, his gaze wandering to the fingers that instinctively reach back into TK's hair.

"I care about you," TK goes on and he waits for Carlos to look at him before he continues, "I care about you a lot, actually. More than I can comprehend sometimes. And after what happened yesterday I-- I realised I'm terrified of losing you."

The confession catches Carlos off guard and his hand in TK's hair stills abruptly.

"You're not gonna lose me," Carlos says, a little dumbfounded.

"I could. It's not unreasonable considering our lines of work and I'm --" he breaks off, leaving his self destructive thoughts unsaid but Carlos knows. He always knows.

"No, it's not unreasonable," he sighs, "but listen to me carefully, I'm in this for the long run. I won't leave, not ever, not on my own accord and believe me when I say that I will do anything to come back home to you each day, unharmed. I can promise you that much."

There's a fire in his eyes that TK has rarely seen and he finds that it isn't difficult to trust his promise at all because TK will do the exact same thing. He reaches out a hand then, tightly clutching Carlos' fingers in his own, and there they are again, these terrifying three words. They're itching beneath his skin and tickling in his throat, desperate to be said out loud, but TK decides to keep them for himself for now. There will be a time for them, there will be a time to love and to hope. Right now, he needs to let himself heal. There is, after all, no safer place to do so than in Carlos' warm embrace.

[iliveiloveiwrite]

make up lies and say goodbyes and meet me at the door // J.P. (celebration fic)

Request: James, secret relationship, angst 13, fluff 8. The burrow? Idk u can pick. But please let it have a happy ending 🥺. I’m fragile 😂 - @leahstypewriter

Angst 13: “All I wanted was a happy ending.”

Fluff 8: “Marry me?”

A/N: Title is from Emily Kinney - Married (I also use a lyric in this). I think I need to google the definition of ‘blurb’ because I keep writing fics and they just get longer and longer! This is my first time writing for James with anything longer than a headcanon so I’m not wholly confident on this piece - however, I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none - FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF.

Word count: 1.8k

Spring time at the Burrow is a sight that one cannot experience simply on their first visit. It takes a few visits to the home of the Weasley family for it to truly settle in that the home is a home. The christening of the entire Weasley brood was something to witness that once could only witness once; Molly Weasley controlling her children with an expert hand as they all lined up in the church. It was a lovely ceremony to see.

James sat by your side through it all; so close you could feel the warmth radiating from his body. All through the service, you had to restrain yourself from straddling the man in a place of worship. It wouldn’t be good for the vicar, and it wouldn’t good for the fact that you hadn’t gone public yet.

Returning to the Burrow, a marquee had been put up for party-goers. Following the rest of the guests, you find the long dark hair marking Sirius, and make a note of which table he sits down at. You make your way to the buffet table; grabbing a plate and whatever food you can. You only feel more ravenous at the sight of it; barely having time this morning to eat as with each attempt to leave the bed, James only pulled you back down.

You don’t have to see James to know that it’s him standing next to you. The charged atmosphere between the two of you is what alerts you to his presence.

A slight brush of his fingers against yours as he reaches for a plate of food. A slight brush of his fingers and it’s enough for you to crave all of his attention. He quirks his eyebrow at your obvious intake of breath; he knows what he does to you and he enjoys winding you up the best he can.

You take a seat next to Sirius; ignoring the way James sends a pointed look in your direction. Sirius immediately draws you into conversation with him and Remus, laughing over the rim of his drink. Sirius takes it upon himself to point out the members of the Weasley family stemming from the House of Black – he points towards Arthur’s mother, Cedrella and introduces her as his great-aunt somewhere along the lines of three or four times removed. You snort at Sirius’ lack of accuracy to which he points out that for the last few years, he had been living with James until he got his own place.

Shaking your head, you turn away from Sirius, careful not to catch eyes with James for the fear of not being able to control yourself once again. Your eyes dance around the marquee; happy to have been invited to such an event – an added extra by Sirius who didn’t want to face the extended and disowned side of his family alone.

Your eyes continue to travel around the marquee; taking in the decorations lovingly made by the Weasley children as well as the children themselves. The five young boys seemed to be running amok – their laughter filling the air as they race each around the tent. You can’t help but smile at the sight; each boy looking so happy.

It wasn’t something you realised you yearned for. A family. But watching Molly chase after her children with the largest smile on her face; watching Arthur lift young George onto his shoulders, you realise that you yearned for it all.

The wedding, the house, the family. Everything. You longed for it all to be with James; you felt silly for wanting this so early in your relationship, but just by being in his very presence it was hard not to want to spend an eternity with him.

All day it had been hard to find a moment for yourselves even when the party had moved from the marquee to the house; wanting nothing more than to spend a few minutes alone with James, but each time you got close, you were pulled in another direction by a child or by one of Sirius’ relatives to meet another aunt or uncle.

It was draining.

Keeping your relationship secret was a mutual decision; especially in the early months – the relationship was barely three months old; you were still in the process of getting to know one another romantically and work out how well you clicked together. The long friendship beforehand definitely helped, but keeping James to yourself was something you needed to do.

The atmosphere in the house becomes stifling the more you think about your relationship. You stand from your seat, sending a small smile in James’ direction when he looks over to you with a puzzled expression on his face. Your smile does nothing to calm the concern he feels as he watches you walk out the door, wondering what caused this change.

The evening air is warm when you step outside to catch your breath. Sitting down on one of the many benches, you take in gulps of the fresh air.

“Love?” James’ voice sounds. He takes a tentative seat next to you on the bench, carefully placing his hand between the two of you – knowing he cannot reach out to take you in his arms but wanting you to know that he would if he could.

“I’ve never seen somewhere so beautiful,” You murmur absentmindedly; eyes pouring over the horizon of the slowly setting sun.

James hums in agreement, “It is lovely here.”

You don’t reply. You aren’t entirely sure what else to say to him; instead, you keep your focus on the horizon – the sun setting, the bright and sweet smelling flowers, the beginnings of a vegetable patch. It’s a little slice of heaven, you realise.

“Do you want to talk about earlier?” James prompts. Keeping your secret from everyone was not the endgame, but the both of you simply desired some time to yourselves – to learn each other, to get used to each other, to selfishly love each other before letting other people interfere.

“All I wanted was a happy ending, James. I’m finding hard to keep us a secret when I’m so desperate for a happy ending.”

He grips your hands with such ferocity you’re worried he’ll break the bones, “Then let’s have a happy ending.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marry me?”

The breath leaves your body in one huff, “What?”

“Marry me.”

“James, I can’t believe this is happening. It’s only been a few months.”

“And? I’m certain of this and I’m certain of you. Would you marry me and always be mine?”

You bite your lip; thinking of every outcome that could fall from your marrying James. There could be no denying your feelings for the man; they were something you had felt for over a year until he asked you out to dinner. The yearning you felt earlier was back; churning in your gut as begin to think of a future with James as your husband through sickness and health, till death do you part. 

You smile widely at James, “Let’s make our excuses and go.”

“Why?”

“I want to marry you James Potter, and I want to marry you now.”

James’ eyes glisten with unshed tears at your words, and he rushes off to find the lads and the Weasley’s to thank them for the offer of staying, but you both really must rush off as you have an early start at work, and he has an early morning meeting that he cannot miss.

Sirius furrows his brows at James’ words but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns to you with nothing but curiosity burning in his gaze. You smile softly at the man who had become something akin to a brother through your time with the marauders; through your time with James.

“Do you want us to set up a floo?” Molly asks kindly, bouncing a half asleep Fred on her lap.

You shake your head, “We’ll apparate back, we don’t mind. It saves on powder then.”

Molly nods; smiling at the two of you.

You say your goodbyes to the rest of the Marauders; they comment that they’ll see you tomorrow. You hold out your hand to James; he takes it and in less than a second, you’ve left the Burrow.

---------

James runs down the steps of the town hall; puffing slightly from how many there are, “It’s closed. We have to come back tomorrow for a license.”

“I get that, but why do you look so sad?”

James laughs, tugging you to him, “I really wanted to marry you tonight.”

Your thumb rubs across his cheek, “We still can, love.”

“How?”

“Well are the two of us present? We can do the official paperwork and aisle walking another day, but we can always say our vows to one another right now.”

“Right now?”

“Right now,” You confirm, “What do you think? Do you still want to marry me?”

“There’s nothing I want more.”

Underneath the now twinkling stars, vows are whispered, and make-do rings are created from some twine found in James’ pocket. Underneath the night sky, you pull him for your first kiss as husband and wife – the both of you making it difficult from the smiles on your faces.

It isn’t official – far from it. There are no witnesses; no minister. Only you, James, and the stars. But it’s perfect.

“When do we tell the lads? When do we tell our parents?”

“We’ll call them with our news in the morning, but for now…” You trail off with a sly smile.

“For now?”

“You’re all mine.”

-----

You wake up in James’ arms to the sound of crashing in your kitchen and the tell-tale swearing of Sirius Black. “James,” You groan, “Your friends are in the kitchen.”

James yawns, “I know. They woke me too.”

You sigh, opening your eyes, “Do we go down together?”

He nods, “Why not? They’re going to find out anyway.”

You stretch, “I like the sound of that.”

James smiles sleepily, “You know what I like the sound of?”

“What?”

“Kissing my wife good morning.”

You laugh; happily obliging the wish of your husband.

Yawning, you follow James downstairs where you meet Remus, Sirius and Peter clattering about in the kitchen, making a racket as they try to make some breakfast. They each call out their own greeting; their eyes not missing the way you came downstairs together.

“Where did you two rush off to last night?” Sirius asks; a smirk on his face.

“We got married,” James states clearly; leaving no room for any misunderstanding.

Remus chokes on his drink; Sirius drops his mug of tea; Peter silently moves the frying pan off the hob to save the food from burning.

“You did what?” Sirius all but yells.

James reaches for your hand, “We didn’t get married, married. But we will be doing today.”

Sirius remains speechless; eyes flitting between you, James and your joined hands, “When did you get together?”

You look at James, “Almost three months ago.”

“And you didn’t tell us then?”

You shrug, “We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while.”

Remus nods, “ I get that, but getting married so soon? Are you sure?”

The both of you nod; only looking at each other, “We’re sure.”

Sirius claps his hands together, calling the room’s attention to him, “Then we better get ready.”

********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn​ @summer-writes​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @black-lake-confessions​ @annasofiaearlobe​ @imboredandneedalife​ @levylovegood​ @mytreec​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @teheharrypotter​ @chaoticgirl04​ @accio-rogers​ @msmimimerton​ @izzytheninja​ @slytherinprincess03​ @nerdyatheletic​

[inagetawaycarxo]

Way Down We Go; II | Roman Reigns {Werewolf AU}

❛❛ I would like to request a part 2 for the: Way Down We Go | Werewolf!Roman Reigns- story.; Roman is trying to get Y/N back, explaining her everything about his world and how sorry he is for not telling her the truth from the  beginning.❜❜-Rightherewaiting88

❛❛Oooooh that needs a part 2. It is really cool. (way down we go)❜❜-Joy_of_life88

❛❛ Please tell me there’s gonna be a part 2 and can I be added to your tag list????❜❜- @scuzmunkie​ 

❛❛ This needs a part 2.❜❜- @mindofasagittaruis​

❛❛ This was wonderful 😭😭😭😭 part 2 please.❜❜- @flawlessglamazon​

Pairings: Werewolf!Roman Reigns x Human!Reader

Featuring: Roman Reigns, Y/n (Reader), Seth Rollins, Unnamed Friend of Y/n’s,

Summary: y/n is finding it difficult to process the news of Roman being a werewolf, can she move past it and be with him again.

WARNINGS: angst, jealousy, stalking, some more angst, eventually fluff, werewolf themes, supernatural themes, meh, errors.

Word Count: 2105

A/N: GOT A ROMAN REIGNS OR WWE REQUEST? SEND IT IN!

A thick layer of sweat covered your entire body. Whimpers escaping your mouth. Body shaking as a nightmare ripped through your subconscious. Gripping the bed sheets tightly.

Roman’s jaw slightly clenched. Eyes casting down at the ground. He knew what nightmare it was. You always ended up waking up with a gasp, eyes wide open in fear, hands grasping your neck, then pulling them away to check for any signs of blood. It broke his heart to see you have nightmares all because you found out his deep dark secret. He would never tear your throat apart.

He tried his best to talk to you, but you avoided him like the plague. Whenever you were near him your heart beating faster, slightly trembling, it broke his heart. He wanted things to go back to normal between the two of you. You even requested to have different shifts; he did the morning-lunch shifts while you did the afternoon shifts.

All he could do now was watch you from a distance, or without your knowledge, he knew it was wrong and predatory, but he had to know if you were alright. That you weren’t in any danger.

Roman kept watching you for a little longer as you steady your breathing, heart aching as you curled up into a ball. He felt tears prick his eyes. His heart shattering into a million pieces, he wanted to comfort you, but he couldn’t.

Roman watched you for a little while, eyes full of sadness. His heart feeling heavy. He let out a heavy sigh, before turning around, and walking to his house. His heart aching even more.

Roman’s moves halted as he sensed a presence. His jaw tightened as he turned his head in the direction of the unwanted presence. Roman glared at Seth in annoyance.

Seth moved his feet off the rails, getting up. Smirking at Roman, as he walked over to him.

“Let me guess, you visited y/n’s place again. You need to stop torturing yourself with a woman who doesn’t even respect what you are.” Seth spoke. Making Roman let out a low growl. Anger boiling up inside him.

“Not now Seth.” Roman growled out.

“You deserve so much better, someone who accepts you and doesn’t run away when they find out you’re a werewolf.” Seth argued his point, making Roman seethe with anger.

“Seth, let it go it's complicated.” Roman growled. Glaring at Seth.

“It really isn’t, I found you a woman, she is a werewolf too, I think both of you are perfect for each other.” Seth spoke. Making Roman clench his jaw even tighter.

“I’m not interested.” Roman hissed out. Taking a step to his front door, while giving Seth a deadly glare.

“Y/n is never going to accept you, you are just being delusional, she broke up with you because she found out you’re a werewolf, she didn’t accept you she rejected you, Roman don’t torture yourself by chasing after her when she is avoiding you.” Seth yelled.

“Shut up.” Roman yelled. Eyes flashing with anger. His hands grabbed Seth’s shoulders. Claws digging into Seth��s skin, making Seth grimace. Roman pushed Seth back with full force. Making Seth crash into the railing. The rail broke under Seth’s weight, making Seth crash onto the ground.

Seth looked up at Roman in anger. Jaw clenching.

“You deserve better Roman.” Seth growled out. While Roman glared at Seth. He let out a low growl, before turning around and walking to his front door, opening the door and going inside his house. Leaving Seth on the ground with broken wood surrounding him.

“You are going on that date with that women I found you by the way.” Seth yelled…

__________________________________________

 Your heart leapt up into your throat as you walked into the diner. Palms getting clammy. Breathing getting heavier. Throat getting tighter. You swallowed hard as your eyes landed on Roman. You quickly adverted your eyes elsewhere. Rushing over to the counter. Opening the door and going behind the counter and into the kitchen, cursing to yourself. As you grabbed an apron. Tying it around your waist.

“I thought Roman was on morning shifts today, not afternoon shifts.” You whined. Going to your friend who has helping the chef cook. You pouted at her. Making her give a half-smile.

“Sorry about that, honeybun, it was pretty busy, and he stayed a bit longer, I should go tell him his shift is over. But first take this out, table one.” She spoke, handing you a plate full of chips and a burger.

“But...” You tried to protest only for her to give you a pointed look.

“Chin up buttercup.” She spoke. Giving you a reassuring smile before bringing her attention back to cooking.

You turned around, feeling a sense of dread rush course through your body. You gulped. Then took a deep breath before exiting the kitchen, then the counter, going over to table one. You plastered an enthusiastic smile.

“Here you go, ma’am and sir. Enjoy, if you need anything else don’t be afraid to ask.” You spoke. You felt an intense gaze staring at the back of your head. You knew it was Roman. You gave them one last final smile before turning on the ball of your foot, and walking to the counter, you grabbed a tray, as well as a cloth and disinfectant spray going over to the unoccupied tables, putting the utilities on the tray, then spraying the tables. You felt a presence behind you making you gulp. Your heart racing faster. throat tightening.

“Y/n, can we talk.” Roman spoke from behind you. Hot breath nipping at your neck. Making the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck stick up.

“I can’t Roman, I’m working.” You stuttered out, moving onto the next table. Making Roman let out a sad sigh. Putting his head down in defeat. His heart aching.

“That was torture. You ready for your date.” Seth spoke. Placing a hand on Romans shoulder. Giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Roman rolled his eyes at Seth’s words. Heart quickening faster as Seth said that out loud hoping you didn’t overhear. Though he was unlucky, you tilted your head slightly to listen in on the conversation all the while wiping the table.

“I never agreed to go on a date with her.” Roman grumbled.

“Come on man, you got to. Look here is a picture of her.” Seth whined. Taking his phone out. Unlocking his phone, scrolling through the messages he had with this woman, till he found the picture of her. Then held it up for Roman to see.

Roman wasn’t going to lie she was gorgeous, but his heart still yearned for you. Roman’s eyebrows furrowed as he smelt the scent of jealousy wafted through the diner.

“I can’t I am working.” Roman Replied. Making Seth let out an annoyed sigh. Seth’s frown turned into a smile as he saw one of the other co-workers come out of the kitchen. Two plates in each of her hands.

“Hey, babe, can my buddy knock off already to go on a date.” Seth pleaded. The co-worker happened to be your friend. She rolled her eyes at the pet name he used.

“Sure, see you tomorrow Roman, same time, thank you for staying past your shift.” She spoke, smiling at Roman, before walking off to another table.

Seth gave Roman a devilish smile. Wrapping his arm around Romans shoulder and pulling him out of the diner. Roman felt his heart pounding in his eardrums.

You felt the presence of your friend next to you.

“You okay sweetheart?” she asked. Looking at you with concerned eyes.

“Fine, I’m fine.” You spoke. Before continuing to clean the tables. Jealousy bubbling up inside of you as well as hurt. But what did you expect you left him all because he was a werewolf. You couldn’t be mad at him for moving on.

“Y/n...” Your friend started to say, only to get cut off.

“Darling, could we get two coffees.” A soft feminine voice spoke. You turned your attention towards the elderly couple you served before. Giving them a sweet smile.

“Of course, ma’am.” You replied, taking the tray, and spray, as well as the cloth with you behind the counter, putting them in the sink, then going over to the coffee machine, grabbing two cups and making their coffees, then going over towards the table and handing it to them. You kept yourself busy, trying not to think about Roman with another woman…

Your friend and you let out a heavy sigh. Sitting on a stool, while your friend counted the money in the till.

 __________________________________________

“Today was hectic.” Your friend sighed.

“Yeah.” You mumbled. Mind running off elsewhere.

“Are you okay?” She asked you.

“Why would I care, he can date whoever he wants now.” You spoke. As tears pricked your eyes.

“Babe.” She sighed. She quickly put the money back in the till. Her hands grabbed your hands. Squeezing them reassuringly.

“I just hope he trusts her enough to tell her his secret.” You spoke. Sniffling making your friend frown. She gave you a sad smile. She knew where this was going.

“Maybe he thought he was protecting you from the secret he was keeping.” She spoke. As tears fell from your eyes.

“Y/n, I’m not telling you what to do, but your miserable, and he is, you should fight for him, win him back.” She spoke. Her thumb caressing the back of your hand.

“Obviously not that miserable if he is going on a date with another woman.” You bitterly muttered out. Sniffling a bit.

“Then fight for him, tell him how you feel, I know you are scared of whatever he told you or you found out he was hiding, but somewhere deep down you love him. And he loves you, I can see it in his eyes he needs you, he loves you. Go get him, before you lose him forever.” She spoke. Letting go of your hands, she gave you a pointed look, nodding in the direction of the door.

You gulped, getting up. You gave her a scared look, making her give you a reassuring smile. You turned around and rushed out of the door. Running towards Roman’s house. Heart pounding in your chest.

You stopped at in front of Roman’s house. Dread washing over you as you saw Roman’s lights out. Jealousy and sadness washing over you. eyes filling up with water. Feeling like your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach. you felt like the whole world was closing in on you. You missed your chance.

The sound of Romans voice behind you made you jump. You turned around quickly. Making you feel slightly dizzy.

“Y/n?” Roman questioned, cocking his head to the side in confusion. As he stood in front of you.

The words getting caught in your throat, as you looked at him in shock. Every time you tried to talk it came out inaudible.

“I’m scared…” You whispered. Making Roman wet his lips.

“I love you, I do, no matter how hard I try not to, I will always love you, but I’m scared, Roman, I’m scared that you will lose control and wolf out and hurt me, what I saw in that warehouse scared me..” You confessed tears blurred your vision.

“Y/n…I would never hurt you.” Roman reassured you.

“But you did in a way of not trusting me enough to tell me your secret.” You whimpered.

Both of you stared at each other intently. Before Roman was the first one to break the silence.

“I never went on a date with that woman Seth set me up with, I couldn’t she’s not you. I only love you, y/n, and I will do whatever it takes to get back with you, I need you in my life whether its platonically or romantically.” He confessed, making your heart swell.

You looked away as tears fell from your eyes. Roman felt his heart plummet to the pit of his stomach. You quickly wiped your tears away. Before looking at him.

“Baby steps.” You spoke softly. Smiling softly at him. Roman’s eyes gleamed with happiness.

“Can I hug you?” He asked. Making your heart flutter a bit.

“Yes.” You spoke softly. Making Roman beam.

He walked a bit closer to you, wrapping his arms around you, and pulling you into his strong warm chest. You rested your head against his chest, wrapping your arms around him. While Roman breathed in the smell of your hair, a warm feeling coursing through the both of you….

[xbunnybunz]

circhester city blues [hop x reader]

Summary: Hop finds you at outside at midnight, mulling over some personal thoughts. He extends some much needed words of comfort, and a little bit more.

Genre: Fluff

Date: July 12, 2020

-----

Circhester was unlike anything you had ever seen before.

Snowflakes drifted slowly from the sky, brushing over the city with a crispy new layer of snow. The cold nighttime air was serene, moving languidly over your exposed cheekbones and fingertips and leaving you slightly shuddering. A hum of gentle music floated softy in the breeze, sounding quite melancholy and tearful.

You lean over the railing on the higher point of the city, eyes taking in the scene of the city of snow. The sensation of snowflakes grazes your skin with a soft nip, melting away and leaving you yearning for more than that gossamer touch.

You close your eyes to eternalize this memory, the sweet and delicate song echoing in the distance and the soft glow of nighttime snow flurries dancing before your eyes. It is times like these, where you’re away from the crowds and cheering of fans, do you get the time to reflect on your journey.

The beginning of this trek seemed so long ago. The hazy memories of Postwick and its endless expanse of green fields leave you feeling bittersweet. As much as you miss home and the feeling of waking up at home in your soft bed, the smell of freshly cooked omlettes wafting from the kitchen, you’ve been beginning to ponder the end of your journey.

The heights and lulls of your adventure fill you with purpose, and every morning you wake up with a mission in mind. Other times, when the excitement dies down and the sun begins to dwindle behind the horizon, you can set up your tent and lay under the stars, counting the specks of light until the coos of your pokemon lull you to sleep.

That is something that, with all its glorious, warm sunshine and creaking cottage houses, Postwick cannot give you.

You watch as one by one, houses lining the streets illuminate with life from the inside. Families come together for supper, their shadows dancing across the cobblestone path lined with a thin layer of snow. You wonder if you’re selfish for not wanting to return home- not wanting this chapter of your life to be over so soon.

Tomorrow was the day you were scheduled to battle Melony, the Ice type gym leader and sixth hurdle to completing your Pokemon Gym Challenge. You think back to your first challenge against Milo, and wonder why you’re not feeling the same jittery feeling in your stomach.

The first night before your first gym battle, you were kept awake by the visions of battle and victory. You recall recounting the potential battle strategies you could use against the grass type leader in your sleep, which led to a night of tossing and turning in Bedew Hotel.

You sigh, your breath making small puffs of clouds in the air. You look down, clenching and unclenching your fists to get blood flowing back into your fingers. There had been a lot you encountered in your travels, all of which would’ve never found had you stayed in your hometown.

You had the chance to step into the battle arena, the stadium pumped full of life and vivacity that made your ears ring and heart swell. The cries of millions watching from home set your soul ablaze, and the urge to pursue your dreams had never been stronger. Amidst your challenge, you met many new and beautiful souls, both in battles and in passing. Each had their own stories and dreams to follow, burning with the passion of life. Their voices rang in your ears as you crept through the dusty Galar mines and scaled the Turrfield ruins, the experiences lives bleeding into yours and coloring you with wonder and devotion.

Many days as you waded through the wild area, you wondered if the sun ever burned so bright back at home. With enough warmth to sear your skin, warm your bones and bleach the heavens with nothing but clear, blue skies. Every night, you find yourself in awe that the starry night sky expanded so far over the horizon, deep, dark and heavy. You always question if it’s the same sky you see through your little window at home, hanging humbly over your desk in a wooden frame.

As the snow falls upon your face, you turn skyward, beholding the moon in all its lustrous, ephemeral beauty. It drips with tantalizing fullness, the light spilling over to speckle stars into the unfathomably darkening night. It hangs heavily in the inky blackness, as if even the skies aren’t large enough to hold it up.

You catch yourself thinking about who you were, and who you are. You wonder if the journey has allowed you to grow too much, too large for your modest little hometown.

The crisp sound of snow underfoot breaks the spell of silence, but you don’t need to look to know who it is.

A violet haired boy leans on the barristrade beside you, a relaxed smile stretching across his face and lighting his eyes.

“Fancy catching you out here,” He teases. “Pondering the mysteries of the universe?”

You see him staring at you from the periphery of your vision. You kick at the snow by the ledge, watching it fall into the fountain underneath.

“Not quite, but I was getting there before you came along.”

Hop laughed, and it was bold and rectifying. It echoed off the brick walls and concrete statues to warm your heart, and soon your cheeks.

“A right ruckus you are. How can you stand out here for so long and still have mysteries unsolved?”

You stutter, feeling quite abashed he had called you out on your glooming. “It hasn’t been that long! I was just… Admiring the view.”

Hop’s smile softens, and in the warm yellow light of the streetlamps, his eyes look like dark pools of swirling honey.

The way he carries himself is new, yet familiar. You know he’s the same Hop that left Postwick with you all those months ago, and yet seeing him like this reminds you that you have not been the only one growing. His exuberant flame is still there, licking at the edges of his smile and playing at the corners of his eyes. But somehow, he seems more mellow, more willing to stop for a second before surging forwards like the freight engine you’ve always known.

They’re all small shifts, but bring you comfort nonetheless, knowing you’re not the only one who may feel out of place. Hop’s the one thing in your adventures that remained constant despite change, as sturdy as an anchor in the raging sea.

When you look at him in the dull glow of the moon, you feel like you have a fragment home in your hands. You see tanned skin and the sun-kissed freckles that faintly pepper his cheeks, a signature mark of a Postwick Wooloo herder. It contrasts greatly with the snow that has settled onto his hair and the fur lining his denim jacket, as Postwick doesn’t often have cold seasons.

“What are you doing out here, anyways?” You ask.

Hop peers over the rising, and then up at the sky. “I was looking for you.”

Your heart throbs at the way he speaks so candidly. “For me? Don’t you think I can handle myself, now?”

He chokes, and waves his hands. “No, that’s not what I meant! What I mean to say is…”

He places a hand on the nape of his neck, now his turn to feel embarrassed.  “It’s a force of habit, I guess? It was always my job to fetch you before supper back in Postwick, before you got your first pokemon.”

You grin and give him a bit of a shove with your shoulder to let him know you were joking. He stumbles a tad, but recovers quickly with a mirthful smile, gladly settling back into his place next to you.

“It’s been a while, huh?” You say.

Hop leans heavily on the balustrade, crossing one long leg behind the other. “More than a while. I still remember how you cried when I caught my Wooloo, you were so worried I’d leave for the pokemon challenge without you.”

You laughed at the memory, but the distance between then and now makes you a bit teary-eyed.

“Would you have?”

Hop smiled at the thought, but shook his head. “No, I’ve always known I wanted to start the challenge with you as my rival. But I’ll admit, I really thought I was ready to take on the world at the time, just my level three Wooloo and me.”

You giggled and he reddened, though you were unsure if it was from the cold or being flustered.

“Thanks, Hop. That means a lot to me. I wouldn’t rather have anyone else by my side for this wild ride.”

He grins at you, taken aback and flattered all at once. “Oh, geez. I’m real glad to hear you say that, but don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you said that!”

“Drat, I thought flattery would work for sure this time.”

You roll your eyes and subconsciously lean into him a bit more for warmth, though it doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

He blushes, a deep red reaching the tips of his ears and sticking a lump in his throat. He swallows thickly, and doesn’t say anything for the longest time.

You watch as the moon silhouettes the lightpoles in the air, overtaking their light with its own. Hop notices your silence, gives you a small smile.

“What have you been thinking about?” He asks, breaking the stillness.

You pull back from him, and you think you see a flash of disappointment across his face, but it’s gone as soon as it came.

“What do you mean?”

Hop shakes his head at you, the snow in his hair catching the illumination of the moon and making him seem almost otherworldly.  “You’ve been gone since we finished eating dinner with Sonia. There’s not much sightseeing to do here, especially after the sun sets.”

You look at the city again to confirm his words, and find that he’s right. You’ve been moping about on your lonesome in the drape of the night, thinking about the inevitable end to the story you’ve waited so long to experience.

You figure that if anyone else can understand you, it’s Hop, the boy who’s grown up beside you all your life.

“Do you ever not want this to end?” You ask, snowflakes catching on your eyelashes and melting away just as quickly.

Hop doesn’t speak, and you take this as a sign to continue.

“This is the most I’ve ever seen of the world, and it’s far more beautiful than anything I could’ve ever imagined. I want to keep feeling the wind in my hair when I take flying taxis to the next gym, and I want to always feel the sand brewing into a storm in the battle arena. I want to keep meeting new people, meeting new goals and making new aspirations. I don’t ever want to stop chasing this dream, but I know that I’m going to catch up to it one day. And what happens then? “

You turn to him, your eyes sparkling alongside all the stars in the sky. “I don’t know if I’ll ever belong in Postwick anymore, or anywhere at all for that matter. The stars reach too far, and the sun moves too quickly for me to just go home and watch them when I know I could be out here, running after them.”

You shudder, the cold air nipping at your skin through your thin jacket. “Every step forwards feels like a step backwards, too. The closer I get to finishing this challenge, the sooner I know I’ll have to go back home.”

Your shoulders slump, and you can’t help but sigh softly, dejectedly. Mist collects in the night air at your exhale, and evaporates.

You’re surprised to feel something thick and heavy descend upon your shoulders, cocooning you in warmth and the familiar scent of pine. You look up, and your cheek brushes worn Wooloo fur.

“Hop, you’ll catch a cold.” You say, moving to shrug off his denim jacket. But he places his hand on your back, firmly holding the jacket in place. He gives you a smile and it’s enough for you to drop your efforts.

“Keep it on, you’re shivering.”

You keep eye contact with him a beat too long, but he doesn’t say anything when you turn away.

For a long moment, you wonder if he would respond and feel silly for asking him these things. When he speaks again, his voice clear in the crisp snowfall, you’re taken by surprise.

“I think every adventure is richest with a definite ending. It means we achieved what we set out to do.” He says.

“But the most important part's gotta be finding new pieces of yourself to explore, and that’ll never expire. You’re right, we may be done with this part of our journey, but now we know what drives our hearts. Without going through this, we would never know how many more stories lie ahead, ready for us to learn from.”

Hop turns to you, eyes gleaming, drawing you in.

“And I don’t know about you, but it means the world to me that I get to go on my first big adventure with my closest friend. It helped me realize that I have a lot to learn from other people, and a lot to learn from you, too.”

You feel your heart twinge and pulse quicken at the tone in his voice. You divert your eyes to the buildings behind Hop instead, unable to bear his intensity, and take in the lights dwindling with silhouettes of families ready to sleep. He presses on, voice bordering almost on a whisper now.

“I can’t wait to become the person I’m meant to be, (y/n). And I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become too. I really want to tell you all the things I know I’ll be amazed by in the future, but even more than that, I want you to be there beside me, like now, so we can both learn from it together. I know there’s so much more out there for the both of us.”

Your eyes prick with tears, and the moon and the stars and the streetlights all blur together into one large and glistening mosaic.

“Hop… Thank you. I don’t think you know how much I needed to hear that right now.”

You reach up and brush away your tears, blood rushing in your ears when you realized Hop’s hand never left your back.

“I’ve just been so worried about everything. The challenge, our sponsors, and that strange gigantamax energy showing up everywhere. But now that the end seems so close, I was worried I’d be left unfulfilled.”

Every inhale you take smells like him, and it’s calming and electrifying at the same time. The stars twinkling overhead seemed dull in comparison to the glint in hazel eyes, shining with endless ambition yet such patience.

“But?” He asked, a puff of cold mist trailing from his lips, beckoning.

“You were right. There is more for us out there, more than either of us could begin to imagine. And I can’t wait to see it all.”

He smiles again, softly. Dimples push at his cheeks, and you suddenly really want to hold his hand. So you do.

His fingers are rough from years of wrestling Wooloo, but his hands are still large and warm. When you slip your hand into his, he doesn’t hesitate to thread his fingers through yours, and it’s a perfect fit.

You sneak a glance up at him again, and this time it’s his turn to be abashed. His cheeks are tinged pink, and his gaze is directed towards the water, the soft rippling casting a calm glow on his frame.

“Hop?”

He startles at your voice, and you can barely hold back a chuckle.

“Hm? Yeah?”

“Did you mean what you said before? About us?”

He pulls his gaze back to you, face still flushed but voice thick with earnestness.

“Of course I meant it.”

The words swell a happiness in your stomach, and you look up at him, admiring the unruliness of his hair and the softness of his features basking in the nighttime sky, contrasted by a pair of sunny yellow eyes that speckled like amber in the dark. Then you really looked at him.

You looked into his eyes and saw gold, as vivid and overflowing as the wheat fields back in Postwick you both spent years running up and down in autumn. You saw endless humid summers of climbing trees and splashing in lakes, you saw the boy who picked you up and carried you home when you slipped on the stairs just outside the village, and the boy who you got into a fist fight for because someone called his hair funny. You looked at him and recounted all these memories, of the times you had laughed together, and cried together. When you looked at him, you saw your rock, your inspiration and your best friend- perhaps now, something even more.

You reached up to brush a hand against his cheek, skin cold then blossoming with warmth under your touch.

He leans into your palm, eyes burning and never leaving your own.

The moon hung low in the sky now, full and heavy with a pearlescent sheen that inked your shadows into the stone floor, standing closer now than ever before.

Hop whispered your name, the warm air washing over you and drawing goosebumps. You hummed in response, much too lost in your trance to respond with words.

“I'm really glad we're here right now.”

A knot closes in your throat and a gentle warmth spreads across your face at the sincerity of his words. You’re not sure how to respond, so you just draw yourself closer to him. He dips his head to meet you halfway, and in a single slow and blissful moment, the space between you and Hop dwindles down to zero.

His lips are soft and chaste, moving with a slow and tender languidness that made your legs wobble and knees buckle. You grip at his shirt for support and he responds by pulling you flush against him, arm looping around your waist and the other hand still sweetly holding onto yours.

When it ends, you’re both breathless and red in the cheeks. He rests his forehead on yours and his eyes are deep and endless; pupils blown and hair askew, tickling your face and blushing your cheeks.

The snow nipping at your clasped hands is a reminder that the universe is moving everywhere around you. Yet time feels slowed and perfect, and the world, though large, seems to fit lovingly intertwined between your fingers.

Your bodies are languorous and barely want to untangle, but Hop laughs at the snow collected in your hair. You wonder how even in the cold night, his laughter is full and round and warm. You can feel his body, pressed against yours, trembling from the cold without his denim jacket. You tease him for this, but do it with a grateful smile while wrapped in the scent of Hop.

The night had grown long and with it came the dropping temperatures.

“Let’s head back to Ionia Hotel, we should get some rest before taking down Melony tomorrow, don't you reckon?” Hop asks cheekily, despite his tousled hair and labored breathing.

You want to poke fun at him some more, but bite your tongue. Instead, you nod and began your trek together with him, hands still linked and hearts ever pounding under the cape of the shimmering, expanding night sky, and look to the future.