#i will stan octavia forever okay

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Fic Masterlist

Prompts List

requests are open!

*=smut (i will not write smut about minors)

all lowercase titles w/o character at end = blurb

Event Winners

Under The Mistletoe - Peter Maximoff by @raincoffeeandfandoms

Music

Music Masterlist

It (2017&2019)

Turth or Dare - Bill Denbrough

Into The Deadlights - Mike Hanlon

What Is This Feeling? - Stan Uris

happier - Bill Denbrough

Stranger Things

I Like Girls - Max Mayfield

Starcourt - Mike Wheeler

Shut Up and Kiss Me - Max Mayfield

Confession - Lucas Sinclair

Dating Robin Buckley Would Include

Please Don’t Cry - Nancy Wheeler

I Always Will - Eddie Munson

Fall In Love With A Girl - Robin Buckley

All Too Well - Eddie Munson

Migraine - Robin Buckley x Reader (Platonic) and Eddie Munson x Reader (Romantic)

Strawberry Blonde - Chrissy Cunningham

The 100

I Don’t Care If You Hurt Me*- Octavia Blake

Come With Me - Jasper Jordan

Not Alone Anymore - Madi Griffin

I Am Not Okay With This

drivers license- Dina

Bloody Kisses - Syd Novak

High and In Love - Syd Novak

American Horror Story

I’m Still Here - Tate Langdon

My Little Angel - James March

NSFW Alphabet*

You Belong To Me* - Kai Anderson

The Evans See Your SH Scars

How The Evans Would React If They Walked In On You Changing*

The Evans See You Having A Wet Dream About Them*

You’re Mine Now* - Kai Anderson

You’re A Murderer - James March

Being Iris’s Daughter and Dating James

Dream Come True* - Tate Langdon

The Evans With A Photographer Boyfriend

Make You Feel Beautiful* - Kyle Spencer

Stressed* - Kyle Spencer

The Evans See You Masturbating*

Messiah - Kai Anderson

Ignored - Jimmy Darling

Telekinesis- Madison Montgomery

Let Me Cheer You Up* - Kit Walker

The Evans See You Do The Wap*

Beautiful* // James March

Don’t Tell A Soul - Brooke Thompson

I Can’t Keep Living Like This - Kai Anderson

deja vu - Tate Langdon

The Evans Help You Through A Panic Attack

Pumped Up Kicks - Tate Langdon

I’m Not Going Anywhere - Brooke Thompson

Ouija Board - Tate Langdon

You Flinch During An Argument

First Aid - Winter Anderson

Tate Langdon With A Nonbinary SO

Jimmy Darling With A Nonbinary SO

Dating The Emmas Would Include

Drunk - Mallory

Fireflies - Jimmy Darling

I’ll Always Love You - Tate Langdon

Forever - Tate Langdon x Reader x Violet Harmon

Not So Secret Crush - Madison Montgomery

Insomniac - Tate Langdon

Julie and the Phantoms

I Will Always Be There For You - Carrie Wilson

Tell Me Everything- Alex Mercer

Butterfly Girl - Julie Molina

I’m Sorry - Reggie Peters

X-Men

Flower - Peter Maximoff

Flower Pt.2 - Peter Maximoff

Flower Pt.3 - Peter Maximoff

Picture Perfect - Kurt Wagner

Find Our Way Back Home Masterlist

Kandi Crush - Peter Maximoff

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children

Love Me Or Love Me Not? - Enoch O’Conner

Timeless

Lost In Time - Jiya Marri

Voyagers

Reader Finding Out Zac Died

Dating Zac Headcannons

Every Witch Way

You’re A Witch - Emma Alonso

Victorious

Dating Cat Valentine Would Include

Disney

I’m Not That Far Away - Nini Salazar-Roberts

You’re The Only One I Love - Nini Salazar-Roberts

New Student - Willa Lykensen

Criminal Minds

Forever Be My Always - Spencer Reid

I Talk To The Sky- Spencer Reid

Whenever You Need Me, I Promise I’ll Be There - Spencer Reid

Scream (Movies)

Movie Night - Jill Roberts

He’s Mine - Charlie Walker

favorite crime - Ethan Landry

In My Room - Ethan Landry

Love Is Blind - Amber Freeman

More Than This* - Chad Meeks Martin x Reader x Ethan Landry

Alive* - Chad Meeks Martin x Reader x Ethan Landry

No Control* - Chad Meeks Martin x Reader x Ethan Landry

ethan w/ a praise kink*

discovering your bf chad is a sub*

being caught masturbating by poly!ghostface*

making virgin!ethan cum in his pants*

ghostface!ethan trying to push you away

The Darkest Minds

Two Birds - Clancy Gray

Yellowjackets

I'll Keep You Safe - Shauna Shipman

[sammansonn]

My thoughts on the 100 7x05

right off the bat Octavia reminds us that she is a Bad Bitch (as if we could’ve forgotten)

when the crazy fanatic said that they'd keep dying until russell was freed i was so concerned because my immediate response was "cool let them die and problem solved” which is maybe Not the best route to go (even if murphy felt the same way)

i love emori and murphy so much, like i’ve always liked them and all but i feel like i only Really started liking emori last season and this season i just Love Her

watching octavia getting questioned/tortured fucking Hurted

like when “redemption” echoed???? i Cried

i just love octavia and am so glad she got those 10 years of being a happy family, and i genuinely got emotional watching her and bellamy at the end 

this levitt dude really be the #1 Octavia Stan and im HERE FOR IT

i also loved him using “go float yourself” a real Icon

i just really loved him in general and i hope he doesn’t get killed i was really worried levitt was gonna get caught for helping them and i just want him to make it out alive and to the good side (the good side being our main characters even though, are they’re really any good guys???)

he also has strong gabriel energy in the fact that they both love octavia and i love them both and they’re both pretty nerdy

obviously i don’t Really want octavia to get in a relationship because girl needs to Heal and just be with her fam of Bell, Clarke, Hope, Madi, and Dioyza (also i hope Dioyza’s alive, we haven’t seen her at All and im kinda Concerned) But if they were gonna put Octavia in a relationship both Gabriel and levitt are just Waiting there, ready to love octavia Forever

i just really liked Levitt (also he looks like raphael from shadowhunters)

gabriel just sighing as hope and echo keeping killing people is a Mood

i’m So Intrigued as to why clarke is so special to these people like i know shes Amazing and a Goddess but a key??? what does that Mean??

also the actor who plays Andor also played damien dahrk of arrow he’s just Real Good at playing villains he just looks so punchable and i really commend that actor on that

okay indra was kinda pissing me off recently but i’m So Glad she figured out sheidheda is back becuase it was really Concerning me

the whole time thing of this season really Fucks with my head (not in a bad way tho), its just so strange to think that in the span of a week hope went back to sanctum, stabbed octavia, lived on skyring with gabriel and echo for 5 years, and came and got octavia Again, all in 7 Days in bardo time, very Strange

also from what we saw im gathering that when octavia returned to bardo she got all her memories back from skyring and stuff too, right? because she seemed to know levitt? so im hoping that when she and bellamy reunite again she’ll have all those memories because she really grew so much during that time and learned so much about herself and bellamy and i just want her to have those 10 years (also i obviously want her to be able to remember all the time with hope and stuff too because i love those two and really want to see them together more especially now that Hope’s an adult they’re just so cute) 

i was genuinely just So Happy to see bellamy i Really missed him and wish he had been in the episode longer and hope he’s in more of the episode next week because God Damn i love him

okay so bellamy is definitely Not Dead becuase that would be So Dumb my guess is that he jumped into the bridge before the explosion but the explosion messed something up so he didn’t end up in sanctum, instead he’s on a different planet (maybe even that same icy planet clarke is now on👀👀👀👀 idk i can Hope) 

also echo is a Mess like i get you were upset girl but you really gotta be Logical

its also interesting when looking at last episode she chose logic over emotion by killing the guys and betraying orlando because it was logical even though it hurt someone she had grown to care for but Now she but her anger and sadness of losing bellamy over the logical action of keeping the hostage

and i think some could use this to say “echo is just a shitty person so likes killing” but i don't think thats true at all

she’s been raised as a soldier since she was So Young, so naturally she is a very logical person, in fact most of what we’ve seen from her is logic, even the things we’ve seen her do that were “evil” or violent were very logical when looking at it from her view

but as we know echo is Not Good at being her own person, she literally almost killed herself at the end of season 4 because she felt that was what she needed to do as penance for her failing the ice nation and then in space she latched onto space kru, to have a sense of loyalty again, and i think she Specifically latched onto Bellamy because 1) they did know each other before but mostly 2) he was the one who stopped her from killing herself, so i think in that moment of losing herself entirely, she found bellamy as a person to store her faith and loyalty into

and this all leads to that last scene with echo killing that dude, echo is obviously upset that bellamy is dead because she does love him (not in the way she thinks she does but ya know) but i think she’s more upset because of that same sense of failing bellamy

before when she almost killed herself she didn’t have anyone to blame for what happened but herself, she obviously couldn’t be mad at ice nation or even at skykru really, so she could only blame herself, but in the situation of losing bellamy, there is a clear subject of blame in echo’s eyes, so when she once again feels lost and hopeless, she chooses emotion over logic and takes it out on that guy that she uses as a point of blame

anyway y’all can still hate echo i’m not saying you can’t, but i just don’t think she’s a “bad” person (i mean compared with everyone else on the show, most of whom have committed war crimes so are technically bad people compared to a real person in our world)

so in conclusion: i love the blakes and the griffins and levitt and want to give them all hugs, also the sanctum plot is alright i guess, im way more into bardo rn (mostly because thats where the blakes are) but honeslt yay attention is also Wherever Clarke is (also where was madi??? we also didn’t see her last episode?? does she know where her mom is? i’m just generally concerned for her and miss her) 

hopes for next week: more Clarke!!! more Bellamy!!! also octavia pls! and also i’d like to know who knocked gaia out and what they did to the stones because i just remembered that was a thing

[pendragaryen]

Finally! THERE you are, bb!

Sorry… Wasn’t able to wrap my mind around anything else throughout the last hours than the fact, that Bellamy Blake is back on our screens - just for a few minutes, but back indeed! (BAMF! YOU GO BB!)  And I am SO HAPPY ABOUT IT *blinks back tears*! So happy, it even overpowers what happened to him in the end of the episode, bc i KNOW he must have survived that detonation somehow - somewhere…

BUt aww… Did you notice? The lighting was SO GOOD that you could almost count every single freckle on his beautiful face! And the cardigan survived his journey through the anomaly AND his fight against his captors, mark me down as impressed. ;P I’m crying… He’s just so… WHOLESOME… i love him..

What else? In fact… my mind is kind of blank right now. I’m just happy. Haha, the power that character has over me and my well-being… wow…

No, of course i remember the rest of the episode very well - and the BATSHIT CRAZINESS of it all! All the time-jumps and the planet-hopping! I’m… uuuh… wait WHAT?! Don’t get me wrong, it’s hella more interesting than most of what happens in Sanctum rn (although i have to say i really LOVED watching dad!Murphy and smartass!Indra very much - and hands down: JR Bourne’s acting as sheidheda is groundbreakingly creepy, i enjoyed this; but i fear for Indra and the other’s, even if it LOOKS like sheidheda is gone forever now… i don’t trust shit here… mh…)

Octavia and Hope! My hearrrrt! That reunion was so beautiful!

And Octavia’s scream at the end, when she thinks her brother might be dead and gone, broke my heart… it really did - although you couldn’t actually HEAR it. (It was a bit like that “Frodo-scream” in LOTR, when Gandalf fell with the Balrog… I had goosebumps… >.

Levitt owns my ass already. Risks his own life by helping our “heroes”. He even SMILED when Octavia knocked him down “for his own good” -  i could say he helped her and Hope bc he knows O now and that he just wanted to do “the right thing”, but i tend to say BC HE’S FALLEN HEAVILY for her. ;)))

Gabriel completely puzzled and almost speechless like all of the time: What a mood. Gabriel is me.

And Anders… Anders came into view and i went: Oh. THAT dude. THe dubious dude from Desperate Housewives. And sorry… now i can’t get these pictures out of my head anymore. THis man cannot frighten me, not in the slightest. He’s just… the dubious neighbour with one or maybe two corpses in his basement… ;)

And then… E/ho. It’s just like i said and thought. I almost feel nothing about her anymore. It’s as if i gotten numb towards her and her kind of forseeable behaviour. It was the same thing with Finn, as far as I can recall my own feelings back in the time of S2. I wasn’t even shook anymore by what he did to those grounders - i didn’t really care about him at that point anymore. (What SHOOK me indeed was his death - by Clarke’s hands, but that’s another story…)  E/ho’s OVERreaction on the thought of Bellamy’s death resembles that. It’s just… well… I kinda like the fact, that she’s probably too far gone by now for any sort of redemption. Like Finn. I agree with you all. It’s a circle that is closing here. A repetition. And i don’t think Bellamy would stan……….. (I just hope he doesn’t have to do what Clarke had to do with Finn in the end…… ugh.. The fallout this would trigger for him… like it did with Clarke.. just no.. not again…>.

Okay so…The sanctumites are going on my nerves. And I miss Clarke… But everything else was absolutely great to watch. Can’t wait for next week! Hope to see more of Mr I’m-constantly-wearing-my-wedding-ring-and-if-it’s-the-last-thing-i’ll-ever-do Morley - ‘though i think we’ll get back to the Clarke-storyline first. *sigh* Why can’t i have BOTH?!?

[sometimesrosy]

6.12 Adjustment Protocol rewatch

okay here we go.

Watching Clarke pretend to be Josephine while possessed Madi threatens to kill them all, and she’s got to put on that callous act was terrible. But then she managed to delay Echo’s execution by saying she wanted to be there for Simone’s awakening which was clever. Abby threatens to kills Russell for killing Clarke, and he’s like “yeah, I thought I wouldn’t leave the path (path what path?) until I killed my family in the first eclipse, so I believe you.” I’m thinking, like granddaughter like grandmother.

Meanwhile Murphy is playing both sides to get immortality but also manage to save his people. Doesn’t manage to save Echo. But he lives another day to keep on scamming the rest.

Then Bellamy outside the compound chomping at the bit ready to change the plan because he can’t stand there doing nothing and Octavia is the reasonable one telling him to have faith.��

Sheidheda tells Raven he knows what she’s doing and will kill the child if she does it, meanwhile Russell is going to kill her with bone marrow extraction so Abby takes the nightblood serum so they can take the bone marrow from her. “Like mother like daughter,” Jackson says. In walks Clarke and she hugs Abby and everyone is stunned and relieved, and she say she. needs Raven to open the shields but Raven says no, she can’t leave Madi or sheidheda will kill her. And Clarke is like, good no. Okay, we’ll use Ryker. She’s be Josephine and persuade him. I really like the Raven and CLarke interaction here even though it’s focused on Abby and Madi. Raven’s sorrow at Josephine and relief at Clarke being alive was real and refusing to leave Madi, although Clarke was trying to be pragmatic, is a sign that Raven has grown in her moral development that so often sacrificed others for her pragmatism, and this time she was like, no. I have to do the right thing and save THIS child. Of course Clarke agreed. And when she went off to save them all, Raven was like, damn right, back where she belongs, saving our asses. I’ll take care of the fam and save Madi. Because it really felt like she was part of the family there. Caring for Abby, for Madi, and. believing in Clarke once again. I guess it makes Jackson the big bro. 

So Ryker’s dead and Clarke’s smart so she grabs the minddrive and plans to coerce his mom to open the shield and still pretending to be J. Why don’t they suspect her? IDK. Is she that good?

Raven finding out Emori and Murphy are the next primes was interesting. She was disappointed in Emori. I still think they had a poly thing for a while. BUt that is not analysis, that’s headcanon. Whatever happened on the ring stays on the ring. 

Then Gabriel flips when he finds out all the primes are coming back and he crashes their plan. NOW Bellamy wants to be reasonable. lol. I guess Octavia’s pep talk worked.

The scene where Clarke marches into the bar with Echo, Miller and Gaia hiding and grabs Priya to get the shield, she makes up a story about Ryker losing his nerve and Echo’s like, we can’t let them leave and attacks, takes out the guards (Delilah’s mom smacks one over the head, too!) and then Priya is running and Clarke clotheslines her. AWESOME. And Echo is like, “I knew it!” Because Echo never lost faith in Clarke or stopped believing in her. She understands Clarke because they have so many similarities. More than Bellamy even, Echo has been on Clarke’s side (probably because she has no hurt feelings about what she’s done.) Echo and Clarke hug and I loved to see it. Y’all are completely unfair to Echo as a character, mischaracterizing her because she’s the opposing ship. This whole stan/anti thing sucks. SORRY. little fandom rant. I apologize. Moving on. Gaia didn’t believe. She’s like How are you here? Miller and Echo are just like, of course she’s here, she’s Clarke. duh. 

OH Abby and Raven reconciled. Abby admits that bodysnatching for Kane was wrong, all she wanted was him back, but now that she got Clarke back, she understands Raven was right. And RAVEN is like, I’m sorry I’ve been judging you so unfairly, you’re human. And here we have character development revelations that we’ve been waiting for. Abby says you may not be my daughter but you’re my family, solidifying their mother/daughter type relationship and the hug. YAY! Reconciliation and apologies and understanding hurrah!

I should have known.

In comes Russell and Memori. Abby is like, “I know how scared you are but betraying your friends isn’t the way to do it.” He says, “believe it or not this is good for you too.” And honestly, he is trying to save them. And if Bellarke’s plan hadn’t worked, what they do would be the best option. But as it is, it’s just a backup and it does help their plan eventually. 

And then Russell asks for Abby’s help. And then Abby gets suspicious. And he tells her he has all the primes he needs. And this is so sick.

His rationale is “I killed your daughter, and because you will ask me to pay for that murder, I am going to kill you too.”

That is NOT eye for an eye. He can’t even stick to his own twisted morality.

Jackson for the first time gets violent and hits a guard but the other guard takes him down while another holds Raven. Abby is given the shot and falls. The last thing she sees is her daughter Raven, her son Jackson, and then she starts flashing through Jake, Kane, and Clarke growing up. Before she’s dead.

I hate Russell. There’s no way he’d be my favorite villain. 

Russll vs Gabriel. “Without death life is meaningless.” But the resurrections are done. Nothing more powerufl than the truth. “You’re wrong, faith is.” He thinks seeing all their gods will make them have faith again.

The alarm goes off too soon ruining the plan. Gabriel. You messed up.

Gabriel can’t even kill Russell. “You never had the stomach to be a god.” WHY do gods have to kill people? Russell you suck.

Oh the primes. Murphy and Emori look so damn good. Honestly. They look beautiful. 

The shield goes down and Bellamy says “I told you she’d do it,” and Octavia is like what? And then elbows him and laughs. What a great tiny moment that shows they have gotten back to their relationship. Not perfect, but THEM. Well done. 

Bellamy takes Priya to tell the truth to the Sanctumites and it’s sad, admitting that they weren’t one with the primes and they weren’t gods, just humans with technology, needing their bodies to live forever. Then Russell, the demon, gasses everyone and they go psychotic. The parents killed Priya which was fitting. But Clarke and Gaia go to save Madi and Echo leads earthrku and COG into the machine shop where she was imprisoned. The action has less meaningful stuff to the narrative, I find. But fun.

Oh Clarke, they do the rotating camera until she sees Abby. Jackson and Raven are crying and Clarke is overcome. Almost. Gabriel draws her attention and she yells at him about her broken heart and his treachery. It was very kind of him. 

Stupid Simone is like “well at least you have closure.” WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN? 

Then they need Raven because they have no pilot since they killed the Lees and Simone puts a gun to Madi’s head. Russell’s about to throw Gaia to the wolves but Clarke saves her by saying they’ll need her to get onto the ship. 

Open to shot of Indra guarding the door with armed guards as it opens to Simone, Russell and Clarke!Josephine holding guns to the heads of Madi, Raven and Gaia on their knees. 

Russell is SUCH a villain. Nothing redeeming about him except for his looks and dignified appearance and that is not enough. And Simone is heartless. I suppose they are the Head and Heart of that generation. Simone was a shadow of Abby, and in the end, the shadow swallowed her. 

@linzzmorgan100 @wolfheartgirl  @braindeadkat @kattitudereads @beholdmysparkle @elspethelfgordie @theatre-steph @franklyineedcoffee  @iishallbelieve

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

So, as season 6 ends, these are my top ten favorite characters after the season. This is based purely on how I personally feel about the characters, so yeah.

(By the way this only includes people who were ALIVE at some point during this season. Sorry Monty)

10 - Madi

While Madi May have been an interesting and good addition to season 5, I feel like the conflict with shadeheda had been rushed into the writing for one reason or another. I feel as is you can’t even consider it a B plot line, it’s more of like a D or an E plot line due to its irrelevance.

Still, Lola Flannery’s performance this season is enough to give her character the spot of number ten. She played a convincing bad guy and I give her major props.

9 - Diyoza

Ah, poor Diyoza. All she wanted was a life for her unborn child, only to be fucked over by the Anomaly.

The major point of her character this season was to show how Octavia is learning from her past, and how she’s changing.

I think that the reason Diyoza doesn’t place higher on my list is because she was “killed off” so early in the season, but I have a feeling we haven’t quite seen the last of her.

8 - Jackson

A strange choice? Yes. A good one? Also yes.

In a show as wild as the 100, the one thing you wouldn’t expect is for things to stay the same. However, throughout the entirety of the show’s run, Jackson has been a silent but unchanging character. He cares about others deeply, and is all around just a good, simple side character over all.

7 - Kane

Kane, the moral compass.

Kane has been a pretty solid character throughout the show’s run, and I’m glad the writers respected his actual character’s morals.

Though I’m sad to see Henry Ian Cusick go, I feel as though if they’d kept Kane in his new body it would be throwing away everything about Kane’s character from the last seasons. Though I found him whiny in the last season, his character really stayed true until the very end.

6 - Joesephine.

This one is a Hot Take™

Just because a character is a Villain doesn’t mean you can’t like them.

Joespehine was WRITTEN to be likeable! That’s the POINT! She’s genuinely funny, charming, and a bit of a sociopath! What’s not to love? Sure, she tries to kill Clarke and everything...but that’s not important.

She kinda reminds me of the Joker, a villain that everyone LOVED. Though she’s a bad person, she still ranks #6 of my list.

5 - Gabriel

Okay first off...Chuku Modu is FINE.

Secondly, his character is so unique yet realistic. Eventually the guilt of killing hundreds of people to live forever would weigh on the primes, but it didn’t take long for Gabriel to feel guilty. He knew what the primes were doing was wrong, so he stood up against it.

Just overall a good guy. Not much else to say about him lol.

4 - Bellamy Blake

Though Bellamy may have ranked #1 in previous seasons, this season wasn’t about him in the slightest. In fact, it was more about his relationships with Clarke and Octavia than it was about HIM.

Still, he’s still likeable. And he’s a main player, if not THE main player in saving Clarke. Plus Bob Morley always equals brownie points. Always.

3 - Clarke Griffin

The queen of the show herself. This season it was entirely about her, and her face off with Josephine.

Coming in at a strong number three, Clarke is a badass bisexual goddess. The only reason she’s a three and not a one is A) Other characters really shone this season and B) I think we got too much of her. Some scenes (especially ones with Josephine) felt unnessicary and like they were trying to show her off as much as possible. Other than that, Eliza Taylor provides a strong variety in her acting skills with switching from being Josephine to being Clarke.

2 - John Murphey

From the opening episode, I had a feeling this was gonna be his season. I forget which scene exactly, but in the pilot of this season they had him in a scene that could have been anyone else, but they made it a Murphey scene. And then in the second episode, saving Clarke from herself and then saving his friends? This really was Murphey’s season.

Him fooling the primes/believers in the last few episodes was very true to his character, and seeing him continue to flip-flop between being a good guy and a bad guy is always fun.

And that leaves my number one character of season six...

1 - Octavia Blake.

I’ve been the biggest O Stan since I first watched the show. Marie Avgeropoulos is a stunning woman and that’s not a negative in any way.

I loved her switch to evil is season five, and I knew a redemption arc was coming this season. I loved seeing her question her morals when she was deciding the fate of the human race down in the bunker, and how she did the only thing that would keep her people alive. But then, and I’m guessing from the guilt, she found herself being defined by the wrongs she’s done.

This season was her saying “No, I am still Octavia Blake. I am come Skaikru, come Trigeda, come WONKRU, NOT Bloodrena.”

And I LOVE that for her.

[ashleylovesbooks-blog1]

Book Review - The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George

I finally finished this behemoth of a book. I've been reading this on and off for about 15 years and this year I decided this year would be the year I finished this thing. And I did. I feel like I conquered a country, climbed a mountain, and performed open heart surgery all at once.

Now, that being said, I have no idea how to review this. Since it was so long, there were really good parts and then there were parts that practically put me to sleep. So I'll try to review it based on that: What I Liked: The descriptions. Margaret George really does make you feel like you are in Ancient Egypt, Rome, Nubia, Greece, etc. I felt totally immersed in the many places that Cleopatra inhabited over the course of her short life. George gives great detail on the richness of her palace, the three billion courses of food they ate, the climate and geography of Egypt and its surrounding countries, how boring Rome seemed to Cleopatra after living her entire life in Alexandria...there's just so much to wade through in this tome! Cleopatra herself (mostly). This book gives you everything from Cleopatra's early years and finally to her infamous death via snakebite. Because it's written as if Cleopatra has written this herself, I felt like I was in her brain experiencing everything she did.  Unfortunately, history is told by the victors and Cleopatra's image has been tarnished in every single possible way since her death. She was called a whore, a slut, power-hungry, and so many other vile names. It feels like only now she's getting the recognition that she deserves as being a brilliant, intelligent, and an all-around-amazing woman. She spoke 9 languages, was the richest ruler like ever, and made sure that her country was cared for no matter what. She was a #boss.

Her relationship with Marc Antony. I wasn't that fond of her relationship with Julius Caesar, but I loved her relationship with Antony. I truly felt that their chemistry was on fire. I think that Antony and Cleopatra were truly each other's true love. I mean, of course, it's probably because Cleopatra was involved with Antony longer than she was with Caesar because reasons. I think Antony viewed Cleopatra as an equal unlike Caesar. Yes, they argued, they threw hissy fits, but they put everything and mean everything on the line for each other. Antony could have left Cleopatra and stayed with Octavia and had a much easier life, but he didn't. When Octavian asked, Cleopatra could have sent him Antony's head and made her life easier, but she didn't. His death scene killed me on the inside as she held him. 

The inclusion of her three other children. In a lot of movies, including the 1999 version which I got many of the gifs from, Cleopatra's children with Marc Antony are never portrayed. But in this book due to the vastness of it all, a lot of time is given to her younger children. I know this might seem like something minor but for me, it kind of made the book because I love Cleopatra Selene and her love story with Juba, King of Mauretania. 

 Her relationships with Mardian, Olympos, Iras and Charmian. They were her closest friends, and the two women even followed her to her death. Need I say more? I would say #friendshipgoals but I don't think it's a goal exactly. I'd rather not get bit by a snake because my best friend just lost her kingdom. I wish George could have given them just a bit more screen time. Mardian was Cleopatra's rock and at least in this book, her very best friend. I loved Olympos's dry humor and when I realized that he was in love with Cleopatra herself, my heart just broke for him. 

What I Didn't Like:

The description. Yes, I do realize that I also put this about what I liked about the novel, but towards the middle of the novel, it just dragged and dragged on forever. While I loved feeling immersed in Cleopatra's world, I thought the book could have been shortened by about 300 or even 400 pages. I didn't need to know about every Temple Cleopatra visited, every swim she took, etc. 

Her obsession with Julius Caesar, eventually Caesarion, and making him Rome's king. I felt like Julius Caesar might have cared for Cleopatra, but he didn't love her. Their relationship came off as one-sided to me. Julius Caesar went on to sleep with other women besides Cleopatra, but she's the whore? Yeah, okay. I think he really wanted Cleopatra because she was a means to an end. Cleopatra becomes absolutely obsessed with him after he dies and thus obsessed with their son Caesarion. Everything about Cleopatra's war with Octavian was because she thought Caesarion should be king of Rome. I understand that she was worried about her son's future, but I really don't think she should have pushed the Caesarion-as-Rome's-king agenda too much, especially because she knew Rome didn't want any kings...even though Rome's emperors were basically kings.  Part of me thinks that if she had just left things alone, Caesarion would have ruled Egypt after her. Makes no mistake. Rome wanted Egypt, but I don't think it would have happened that quickly. Since this took up the whole novel, it made me become annoyed as the novel went on. 

All in all, The Memoirs of Cleopatra was an amazing book and what I like about it does outweigh what I didn't like. Cleopatra is my favorite historical figure to the point where I was her in 5th grade for our living wax museum complete with braids, the crook and flail, serpent bracelets, a diadem, and a long white gown. I'm happy that she got to "tell her story" through Margaret George. 

As I said, she was a boss. 

P.S. I stan Cleopatra (1999) over Cleopatra  (1963). Yeah, I said it. Come at me. As for the new Cleopatra movie that was supposed to be filmed like 5 years ago, I don’t care who plays Cleopatra, I just want them to get someone who can get her right.  

[bellamysgriffin]

first person to touch the ground loses

this is a gen fic that’s basically a study on octavia’s character. if you know me, you know i’m the biggest bellamy blake stan who ever lived, so this fic does hold octavia accountable for the stuff she does, but it’s not mindless bashing either. just a rumination of sorts. 

summary: In another life, she could’ve been happy. But that’s not the life she gets. So, in this life, Octavia destroys.

ao3 | ffn

From the very beginning, she knows she is unwanted. Her mother never says so, of course, and Bellamy wouldn't even let her think it, but who would purposefully have a second child in a world where you'd be killed just for giving birth?

She has a lot of time to think while she's under the floor, and Octavia is nine years old when she starts to believe that she's just an aberration. A mistake. A glitch in the universe's coding. Of course, those aren't the words that pop into her head exactly, not yet anyway. All she has is the darkness, her raggedy stuffed animal and the sense that she is wrong, wrong, wrong.

She is twelve and she still wants to play lilypads all the time. Even though Bellamy gives a little exasperated sigh each time she asks, he always plays. He always lets her win. The games keep getting shorter and shorter as he "accidentally" touches the ground sooner and sooner. Even then, Octavia likes the feeling of victory.

She is fifteen and she wants to go to a dance and her brother wants nothing more than to make her happy. It's a recipe for disaster. In another life, she gets to dance with a nice boy without wearing a mask. That isn't the life she gets now, though, and in the end, it doesn't matter. That's the last night of her childhood. Even after she's discovered, they throw her in solitary. She sees nothing except her own face staring back at her and wonders what it's like to hear the voice of someone she doesn't know.

And then, one day she is sitting in a dropship and she is plummeting towards the ground, and her heart is beating so fast, faster than it ever has, and maybe this is it. Lights out. End of story. But she's headed towards something massive, and there's a part of her, larger than she'd like to admit, that's giddy with excitement.

Her brother's arms around her feel familiar and sturdy and comforting. In another life, she never has to lose that. But in that life, she never gets to fully understand how nice it feels to have it back. And then, all of sudden a lever is pulled and there's light, trees, the smell of air and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. Her brother is grinning, prodding her forward. Octavia takes the first step.

The first one to touch the ground loses.

It's her first time being around actual people, and there's so much to learn. Right out of the gate, she flirts with the boy with the long hair. Hey, Spacewalker. Rescue me next. She loves her big brother, but she ignores his warnings. She stands in the river half-dressed and smiles at the feeling of water sloshing around her ankles. She's mauled by some sort of fish pretty quickly, but it's okay.

She makes a new friend. His name is Jasper. He's nice and he's funny and he's different than anything she's ever known - because all she's ever known is solitude. Her first day on the ground is warm and forgiving. And then her new friend gets a spear in her chest.

She doesn't mean to, but she learns.

It doesn't take long before they all go to war. And she is already surrounded by so much destruction. Atom, the boy who showed her the glowing butterflies, who gave her her first kiss, is torn up from the inside by gas sent to kill them all. Her new friend spends days screaming, and her brother wants to kill him for it. There is no floating down here, there aren't even any rules, and yet people keep dying and dying and dying and there's nothing she can do about it.

And then she falls and hits her head and wakes up in a strange man's cave. She watches her brother torture him, feeling blackness clawing at her insides. But in the end, the strange man lives and he has a name. Lincoln. When Octavia kisses him for the first time, she knows that there is finally something in this world that is truly and completely hers. No one can take that away.

They make plans to run, to find a new shore on a different patch of earth and live out the rest of their days there. In another life, they make it. It is a softer life, a gentle place for Octavia to land, but there still comes a time when it is not enough for her. And in another life, the poison from the arrow ends up killing her. Both of those might have been happier endings than what she ended up getting.

Instead, she meets a woman named Indra and that woman is the beginning of her destiny. She had Lincoln, true, but now she has something to fight for. It feels good to be a warrior. It feels like being part of something. Everyone is so obsessed with their people. But she was denied the right to be one of Skaikru the moment she was born. So she'll become something else.

Indra and Lincoln are her people. Bellamy is her people. And no one - no one can take that away.

Until they do. Until Bellamy lets someone shoot Indra and she watches Pike put a bullet in Lincoln's head and the blackness that she's been pushing away all this time finally consumes her. Nothing is sacred. Everything is falling apart. It doesn't matter that Bellamy is sorry. It doesn't matter that he tries to stop it. When she punches him, his jaw feels solid against her fist. It doesn't matter that the blood spilling out of his nose and mouth is the same blood running through her veins. Because it's then that she realizes he will always be around for her to hate. And there is nothing she could do to him to make him hate her back.

She is stumbling in the dark. I'm not Trikru. I'm not Skaikru. I'm nothing.

You're one of the 100.

In another life, she hears him. In another life, she comes crying into his arms, she lets herself fall apart, understands how people make mistakes, but realizes there will always be something terrible and beautiful that bonds her to these people forever. But in this life, it is Octavia against the world, and either she doesn't see the hand reaching out for her or she doesn't want to take it.

In the end, she doesn't really hear him. Not even when he kills his mother for her. Six years later, in his heart of hearts, Monty will wish that he had just let Octavia die instead. There are some things that can never be fixed.

She learns what it means to kill. She likes the way it feels. Octavia has already died a thousand deaths, so she will take a thousand lives.

There's a part of her that wants to see how far she can push Bellamy. There's a part of her that wonders how long he'll take it from her before he pushes back. When she realizes he never will, she just goes in harder. He's her brother, and in her mind, all he's done is let her down.

One night, when her brother is trying to figure how to fix what he broke, he says, "I made a promise. My sister, my responsibility."

Octavia is a warrior now. She has blood on her hands and war paint on her face and it is armor. "That's not true anymore," she says. "I release you from it."

His eyes are pleading. "I don't want to be released."

But she just turns away.

Her pain is so deep and her heart is almost completely hardened. Ilian isn't Lincoln, but he's a warm body to press up against and Octavia doesn't want to be alone. The rain is pouring down and it's acid and she is about to fling herself into it when his arms wrap around her torso and yank her back into the cave. Not even death belongs to her.

And then, redemption. Reconciliation. She becomes the savior of Skaikru and the savior of all. She forgives Bellamy - because he needs her forgiveness. And she tries, she really tries to create something Lincoln would be proud of. Wonkru. A place where it's not a matter of my people or your people. She tells her big brother she loves him and he doesn't hear her, but that doesn't matter because she's going back under the ground. Back under the floor. But this time, she's in charge, and she's not hiding anymore.

What happens down there isn't Octavia's fault. Nothing she's done is her fault. She was kept under the floor her whole life, she was cast out just for existing and she was never granted a moment of peace. Her mother died because of her. She watched the man she loved fall to the ground with blood trickling out of his head. She didn't deserve that.

Of course she didn't deserve it. That's not really the question. The truth is, most of us don't deserve what we get. Did Bellamy deserve the weight of the world on his shoulders from the age of seven? Did Clarke deserve to bury her best friend, to press a knife into the body of the boy she loved, to think she killed her father for years? There are questions you should be asking yourself. But Octavia doesn't want to ask questions. She wants to be heard.

Bellamy comes down a different person. He still wants her to love him, he still wants to make her happy, but he won't let her destroy him. That's okay. Octavia has plenty left to destroy.

In her mind, she's not destroying her people. She's saving her people. She told Jaha that she was a warrior, not a leader, but when everyone bowed down to her bloody form - well, Octavia would be lying if she said there wasn't a part of her that loved it.

She really thinks she is still in control until Bellamy's hand is covering her mouth, until the blackness inside her is crowding the edge of her vision and there's a tear rolling down the side of her face and she understands that there are people he loves more than her. It's too late to go back to a world where that was unthinkable.

She wakes up and she doesn't care that he's her brother. She wants his head on a fucking platter.

Until she doesn't. Until she sees him gagged next to Indra and Gaia and she remembers that first day in the dropship, his arms around her. He's her brother, he's her blood, and she has forgotten what that really means. Bellamy never has. She won't do what it takes to save him, but she'll tell him how to save himself. She's stopped questioning herself long ago so she's convinced that that's enough.

Is she relieved when they're all saved? A little. But is she disappointed too? And how many lies does she tell herself as she burns down Monty's algae farm with the claim that it's all for her people?

After all they went through, they deserve the valley. It belongs to her. It can't have been for nothing. But deserve is a funny word. If you become obsessed with it, then you'll never be satisfied.

She wakes up again in a field surrounded by the bodies of her people. Her brother is whispering that she killed them. His touch is no longer gentle. She told him he would become her enemy, but now she has become his. There is the smell of blood in the air, and there's that part of her - that part of her that might never go away - that doesn't even notice. Because she's used to it.

She's gone a long time without really thinking of Lincoln. If she wonders whether he'd be proud of her now, the answer becomes clear. She doesn't like that answer. Octavia destroys things she doesn't like. It's not until her brother says he wants her dead that she really understands she has nothing left. Her people are dead. Her brother hates her. Lincoln's been buried long ago. Indra is no longer behind her.

But she can still have this. She can still die for the right thing. Dying right. Is that the best she can ask for? She thinks it probably is. In another life, she dies there in a hail of gunfire, and it might not be the happiest ending she could've hoped for, but it's one of the better ones. Even then, in that life, there's an indescribable pain in Bellamy's heart as he watches her fall.

In this life, she's saved and Bellamy is spared that pain, but he receives another more familiar one.

Octavia Blake is a tragedy of her own making. Bellamy's still trying to save her. She's given up on saving herself. And if she can't save herself, then she's willing to take everyone down with her. But it's easy to forget that there was a time when she was just a girl who wanted nothing more than to feel the wind on her face. To have something that was just hers. What happened to that girl? Why did she let her go?

He doesn't tell her he loves her, and it manages to surprise her. It stings. But it's deserved. There's that word again. As she's sliding into the ice ("Kinda like going under the floor."), she wonders if she might wake up a different person and be able to start completely new, in a world where she's made no mistakes yet and her brother still loves her, and she's done nothing at all to destroy him. That would be nice.

(Can't you see her, though? Drinking coffee with a friend, running to class. Sneaking out of her window to meet up with another boy. Teasing her brother, getting drunk at a bar and letting him take her home, meeting a world that gives her kindness and gentleness where this world has only given her cruelty. A world where she doesn't have to sit in the dark and wonder if she is just a mistake. Can't you see her there?)

Who knows what she could have been in another world? But the tragedy of this life is that we don't get another world. It doesn't matter who we could have been. It only matters who we are. And we are responsible for whatever we become.

First one who touches the ground loses.

[velvet-tread]

Multishipping Bellarke and Becho: a guide

I know I said I wasn’t going to be here, butttttttt things are getting crazy here and apparently I want to cut my followers down to zero so here goes.

Look, guys, ok I know the vast majority of you are on a scale of ambivalent to nuking North Korea when it comes to Becho and *FINE* I understand why. The Bellarke fandom wants Bellarke (not unreasonable!) so one half of your otp in a relationship galls.

But I love Becho even though I am Bellarke af and honestly the view is GREAT from here and I would love to share some of that good feeling around.

Seeing Bellamy and Echo in what is clearly a very happy and content (yet doomed!) relationship, is basically the most beautiful bittersweet thing to happen to me since Jason chose to serve my own heart up to me on a plate  with ai gonplei ste odon atop the satellite tower *sob*.

So I’m going to have a crack at some of the whys and wherefores of Becho and address how it could fit our Bellarke endgame.

My opinions, ok? I’m not trying to convert anyone, just spread some love.

Why put Bellamy in a long-term relationship at all?

Mostly, I think the answer is in the narrative shorthand the show is using to help us navigate the time jump, and the people Bellamy and Clarke are now. And who is that? Well, we don’t know the whole picture yet but one thing is for sure: Bellamy and Clarke have had a relatively content 6 years. They’re OK. Changed, yes, for a variety of reasons, but psychologically sound compared to, say, the people in the bunker.

Sure, there are some things missing from their lives - I’ll get to the nitty gritty of that later on - but I think we’re supposed to believe that they are more or less happy and healthy and whole.

So, I guess the question is, what does happy and whole Bellamy look like? Not only am I Bellarke af, but I am also a Bellamy stan to the core.  In the context of a 6 year time jump, I want nothing for him but contentment, appreciation and nookie on the regular. And it seems that against the odds, this has happened for Bellamy Bradbury Blake.  In the relative safety of space, in the company of his newfound space family, his impulse to slavishly attend to the everyday needs of his sister curtailed, Bellamy has actually, finally, taken 6 years for himself.

At his core Bellamy is an affectionate person, with a deep need for personal connection and intimacy. And, clearly, he’s attracted to girls and sex is high on his list of needs too (do we all need to be reminded of pre-Bree Bellamy and post-Bree Bellamy in s4?) so the idea of him in space for 6 years deprived of that emotional and physical intimacy just makes me sad.  And so, the shot of his and Echo’s quarters with their double bed, the TV in the corner, the punchbag above the bed (*raised eyebrow*) the shelving unit with 68 canteens on (why Becho, why?) is so heartwarming in its mundane domesticity. It shouted to me: BELLAMY IS OKAY.

Indulge my singing emo heart for a hot second. They clearly appreciate each other. He runs his hands up and down her arms.  She strokes his jaw. THEY ARE SO SOFT.  She soothes his Octavia anxiety. His terrible dad jokes make her laugh and ease her tension. These two people who have spent a life time pleasing others are happy making each other happy.

Oh, and he is JAW-DROPPINGLY NAÏVE.

Watching Bellamy in a comfortable space relationship with someone who hurt him so badly in the past deliver this bizarro rose-tinted expectation of his feisty, judgemental sister suggests that in his mind, everything about his life on Earth is hued in gold. This is a Bellamy who, surrounded by his friends and safety, has forgotten the grim realities of survival, of human frailty and human cruelty.

*foghorn* IT DOESN’T MEAN HE’S FORGOTTEN CLARKE OR DOESN’T LOVE HER ANYMORE. *end foghorn*

In fact, Bellamy finding love with Echo is just about the biggest endorsement of everything that Clarke stood for when she gave him her dying words of wisdom.

This Bellamy has absorbed all of Clarke’s glorious idealism, her ability to forgive, her faith in humanity, her faith in her own agency, her faith that whatever the problem is, there’s a solution. This is what head-and-heart Bellamy looks like.

Finally…realtalk time: I may choke on these words as I type them, but the truth about storytelling is that if you have an endgame ship in mind (and I stfg I refuse to be gaslighted on this any longer) and a 6 year time jump in which they believe each other dead, it would be straight up BIZARRE not to have one of them come back in a long-term relationship. No matter what the writers’ room says about Bellarke or love triangles, that is a conflict opportunity that is too delicious to pass up.  It’s what Satan would do.

But whhhhhyyyy does it have to be Echo?

Sidebar - I’m not going to get in too deep with the forgiveness question, because we’ve all been over it many a time. My take on it is that forgiveness is something you do for yourself,  not for someone else and is not the same as justice – especially when both people involved have things to answer for. For what it’s worth, the show’s take on it seems to be similar (hi Jake Griffin), so I see no reason why this is a problem in terms of tone or characterisation.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love Echo, and have a gazillion thoughts about what her arc could or should be this season.  But ultimately, this show is about Bellamy and Clarke, so it’s worth looking at this in terms of what this means for Bellamy’s character.

Basically: this is a question of impact. Echo represents the furthest possible point for Bellamy’s character development in the context they’ve given him (7 people in space for 6 years).  Echo hurt him, but she also represents all the terrible things that he has done himself, all of which he’s been grappling with for the past 2 seasons. So for him to be in a place where he forgives her enough to actually like her and then forge an intimate connection with her – that says more about how far he’s come in terms of forgiveness of others and self-forgiveness than, say, a relationship with Raven.

It doesn’t mean he’s ruined (and seriously, is this the 17th century?) or it’s out of character.  It means he’s taken Clarke’s lessons to heart.

How am I supposed to be invested in this relationship if I haven’t seen the start of it?

Well, I’ve been shipping Becho ever since she spat in his face in MW prior to their joint murder so I mayyy be biased but I would say we’ve been watching their relationship evolve for some time. No, we don’t get to see the point where forgiveness tipped into intimacy, but having been watching them forever it’s not a leap for me to headcanon the rest.

I get that it is a stretch for others but here’s the thing: I don’t think the show is asking us to be invested in Bellamy and Echo because they should be together forever.  The show is asking us to be invested in the peace and stability they found in space, literally in a vacuum, of which Becho is a product.

But if they’re going to split up, what’s the point?

Becho is the perfect illustration of the fragility of peace and human co-operation, which is in turn such a core theme of the show imo.  What Bellamy and the rest of the Spacekru achieved was an environment in which even Becho can forgive and flourish, find love and softness. That’s the goal.  But this isn’t that universe.  Bellamy and Echo were at odds on Earth because the reality of life there is messy, complicated and frightening.

Echo, bless her, knows that very few things are permanent, even the love of a good man. She lost Azgeda, why would she trust anything in her life to be constant after that? But this forgiving, idealistic, measured, comfortable, Clarke-like Bellamy is in for a shock.

You’re not expected to be sad about the demise of Becho because Bellamy and Echo lose each other, but because Becho represents an unsustainable level of stability and comfort that just doesn’t play in this universe.  Much like Clarke and Lexa before them, they’ll have to let go of the dream of a world in which their relationship is possible and I for one will ache for them.

I’m going to say here too that I think in contrast to Becho, I think Bellarke could survive in any environment.  It was forged out of crisis – as Eliza says, they’re in each other’s DNA.  They just have to work out what that means.

Why is it good for Bellarke?

Let’s push aside all my Bellarke shipper reasons for wanting a happy and whole Bellarke to be the people they reconnect with and find lasting love. And the fact that Clarke, too, has experienced a doomed love affair and I want my tragedy babies to be on an equal footing and commonality when they finally get their shit together.

Let’s also push aside the angst potential of Bellamy and Clarke reuniting when one of them has a long-term partner, which makes up the tense character-focused storytelling this show is famous for.

Because, narratively speaking, the way this has been set up is just so Bellarke-centric I cannot even. Bellamy’s life – including his relationship with Echo - and Clarke’s life are the missing puzzle pieces for one another. Bellamy is

happy

but there are a few things he misses.  He misses Octavia, who is practically his own child, and he yearns to be back on the ground with her. And like the rest of Spacekru, he misses the variety of living on Earth eating more than just algae. And guess what?  Clarke, who is also

happy

has both of those things.  She has a fulfilling parental relationship with a child.  She has abundance.  But what doesn’t she have? She misses her friends and family, and adult company. I’m going to go ahead and assume she also misses the comfort and intimacy of a physical romantic relationship too, because we’ve seen her enjoy those things before.  Both of which Bellamy has.  When those pieces unite, when Bellarke reunite, the puzzle becomes complete.

[casikss]

top 10 girls

okay im FINALLY doing this

10. maka albarn. just recently got into the anime and i gotta say, she is killing it! i love her so much to be honest. 

9. shiro. get you a girl who can do both. i gotta admit, the first thing that had me drawn to shiro was aesthetic, but after getting to know her and her backstory had me falling head over heels for my girl!! 

8. sansa stark. i’m gonna admit this, but when i first watched this show, i didn’t care for sansa… but with the latest seasons and the character development she brought… i grew to love her! arguably my favorite game of thrones character.

7. donna noble. straight up the best companion for the doctor, y’all can fight me on this. i cried when donna had to leave the show and i still love her to this day!!! she’s a queen!

6. sakura haruno. was a fan for 12 years. 12 YEARS. when everyone else hated her, i stanned. i’ve always been loyal to my wife and i’ll forever be loyal to her!! 

5. octavia blake. my queen. my goddess. my EVERYTHING. like she could legit kill me and i would say thank you. i would go gay for her. i’d do ANYTHING for her. holyyy shit i stan. 

4. kagome higurashi. the first anime girl i fell in love with and is STILL best girl to this day. honestly i love her so much haha. 

3. tsuyu asui a.k.a the one who legit reached into my chest and STOLE my heart. honestly every moment she is on screen i enjoyed it and i can’t wait for more big moments with her in the anime. they say god is a woman and they’re RIGHT. 

2. yekaterina braginskaya,,,, (aph ukraine) okay lately i’ve been thinking a lot about her, her history and her relationship with her siblings and she easily became my favorite female of historical hetalia

1. luna lovegood. i’ve always felt like i was an outcast, especially in school. i’ve also always had this fear of appearing “weird” or just any variation of “strange” because of the things i do, how i act, what i like, etc.. and luna is the embodiment of different! she literally doesn’t care what others think of her, and that’s why i love her so much. plus she’s so funny i c an’t ,jfbjhfnbrse. 

[azhefa-moved]

❄️ + for all them wonderful Echo's maybe?

❄️ + url for positivity || @vezostala

I LOVE ECHOES SO MUCH BYE

@loyaltybuilt — gotta mention katie first because she was my first echo to write with! i adore all the plots and threads we created. her echo was so freaking well thought out from the beginning for how little info the show had given on her at the time. i love seeing her write the azgeda babe and will forever adore her. @icebitxh — so we haven’t done as much, but i always enjoying seeing this lovely on my dash? their echo is wonderful and i haven’t seen them about as much lately but i forever support the murder pandas. @traiteres — i adore soraya this is a known fact. we still need to write on her echo but i already know her portrayal is spot on and beautiful. i stan. @darkestbeforedxwn — okay first off this is an a+ multi. but also they have such a wonderful echo? they write her so wonderfully and i love all of our threads and plots not just w the assassin babe but with their octavia too!!@ekous — another i haven’t written with yet but ofc i have to give a shout out bc a wonderful echo. all the echo fam deserves love. i get happy when i see them on my dash and can’t wait to interact! @glaciaes — andrea is an incredible writer!! she captures any muse she picks up so damn well and i love seeing her echo around! i also adore her lexa and the plots we made before my hiatus. a moment of silence for all the plots i made before my hiatus. 

[whatmoredoyouwant]

I was tagged by @laufire (okay like, not really, but it said whoever wants to do it! lol)

Rules: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag some friends

Fandoms:

The 100

Grey’s Anatomy

Lost

The First Character You Loved:

Oh wow. Hard one. Hmm...it’s especially hard cause I just rewatched the whole show, so my “first impressions” are a little skewed. I don’t know if it’s more Octavia Blake or Clarke Griffin tbh. I’m like horribly in love with Eliza Taylor, so that’s a big factor, but Octavia’s character is so dynamic and fun. I loved her from that first, “We’re back, bitches!”

This is even harder because the characters have changed so much! I think it would have to be Cristina Yang, even though she’s not in the show anymore. I miss her so much!

100% without a doubt, Charlie Pace. When I watched the show when I was younger, when it was still on TV, I bawled my friggin’ eyes out every near-death and then his eventual death. It’s funny because now I don’t like him nearly as much.

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

Just based on how she was first introduced, Lexa kom Trikru. We get introduced to this badass warrior Commander, twirling a knife and ordering the deaths of Skaikru for burning her warriors, and she turns out to be the biggest gay softie in the world.

A L E X K A R E V. Holy shit, dude. If you told me that Alex Karev would be one of my favourite characters of all time during the first few seasons, I would have laughed. He’s such an asshole, he doesn’t care about anyone, he’s all about machismo and sleeping with the ladies. And then all of a sudden he does this 180 and the whole macho tough guy is just an act, and he’s just this SWEET SOFT TEDDY BEAR UNDERNEATH.

It’s actually crazy how much of a Sun-Hwa Kwon stan I became after rewatching. She’s just such a fucking badass??? Like, nothing gets her down. And the people that disagree with me that Sun is a Slytherin are just WRONG. Like, the woman learns an entirely different language to get away from her murderous, tyrannical father and arguably abusive husband, and plans to just disappear off into a different country. And then, in the flash forwards, she BUYS OUT HER FATHER’S COMPANY? Slytherin. SUCH a Slytherin.

The Character You Relate To The Most:

Hmm...it’s hard to relate to characters in a post-apocalyptic setting, to be honest, cause I just don’t deal with their issues lol. I feel like I would have to say Clarke Griffin, if only for the fact that she’s a headstrong, stubborn bisexual who tries her best to do the right thing, even if sometimes she’s wrong. That’s the closest similarity I can draw from the characters.

Hands down, Cristina Yang. The commitment issues, the aversion to having a baby, the total 100% dedication and obsession with her job and working? Oh, please, I AM Cristina Yang.

Let’s see, Kate’s a runaway, Claire’s pregnant, Shannon’s a rich kid, Sun is too, I don’t know that I can necessarily relate to any of the women. And the men, like, not at all. Everyone seems to have daddy issues and I don’t have those lol. I have “mommy issues.” Does anyone have mom issues? Ooh ooh! Ana Lucia Cortez! Totally had mom issues. Again, that’s really the closest similarity that I can draw from these characters.

The Character You’d Slap:

Ooh man, so many. Thelonious Jaha, for starters. Like, why are you even here anymore? All you do is cause chaos. They should have locked him out of the bunker.

I don’t know that I’d necessarily slap him, but I really don’t like Richard Webber. He has such anger issues and I feel like he just causes unnecessary tension and drama all the time. And his and Catherine Avery’s relationship is so tumultuous and at times, borderline toxic, I’m just sick of seeing the two of them.

Haha, I feel like my first instinct is James Ford aka Sawyer, just because he’s an ass most of the time, but I love him too much. So I’m saying John Locke, because holy shit, dude, can you cause any more trouble?? Just like I said with Jaha, ALL YOU CAUSE IS CHAOS.

Three Favourite Characters (In Order Of Preference):

Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin, and John Murphy.

Cristina Yang, Stephanie Edwards, and April Kepner

Desmond Hume, Juliet Burke, and Sun-Hwa Kwon

A Character You Liked At First But Don’t Anymore:

Jasper Jordan. This show did you so dirty, my poor child. They should have made him go up in the rocket into space with the rest of them. Can you imagine, crazy alcoholic Jasper Jordan, basically being forced into rehab and made to face his demons? Anyway, yeah, he just went a little too crazy for me, and then he just became a nuisance.

I can’t really think of a character that I liked but don’t anymore. If I had to pick someone, maybe Izzy Stevens? I think she got kind of selfish after living through her cancer death, and then she treated Alex really horribly. I was really happy when he told her he deserved more. But like, it’s honestly me nitpicking a character. I certainly don’t hate Izzy, not even close, I just have to pick SOMEONE.

I already mentioned her, but Ana Lucia Cortez was my first girl crush. When I was young, when the show first came out, I was nine years old and didn’t have any idea I was bisexual. I was IN LOVE with Ana Lucia, I was so upset when she died. Years later, when I rewatched it, it dawned on me just how much I hated her character, and I was like, “Why was she my favourite??” And my gay ass was like, “Ohhhh, it’s cause she’s hot as fuck. Got it.”

A Character You Did Not Like At First But Now Do:

They kind of already asked this? But well, I guess it’s a little bit different. For this one, I’ll say John Murphy. He was SUCH an ass, and I mean, he still is, but now he’s a little more human. And even when you watch him being an ass in the first season, you kind of understand it a little bit more now. Certain things can’t be excused, obviously, but at least they’re better explained.

Ooh, wait, another good one! I couldn’t STAND Arizona Robbins when she was introduced. My boss at the time, Ricky, I was talking to him when I first started watching it (when we were in season 12 I think) and he kept asking me to tell him when I’d met Arizona. And when I finally did, I didn’t get it at all. I was like, “Why do you like her? She’s awful??” And now I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Benjamin Linus. God, I HATED him when I first watched the show, because obviously, he was the “big bad guy.” Now...well, he’s still a bad guy, but I appreciate his character so much more. Especially in the last few episodes! He really redeems himself.

Three OTPs: (I decided to read this as 3 OTPs for each fandom because I can) (I’m following suit, 3 OTPS per show!)

Oh man. Don’t even get me staaaaarted. Linctavia will forever be like, my most painful OTP. Followed of course, by Clexa. The third one is hard though? Honestly, I just wanted to ship Roan with someone, just cause I found him so effing hot. Any time he was on screen with someone, anyone at all, I went, “I ship it.” But realistically, like a real ship, I guess I would say Memori. Even though Emori is hard for me to like. I’m hoping she’ll be more likeable in season 5.

This is so painful. Mark Sloan/Lexie Grey, again, my most painful OTP and oh GOD, I miss them so much. Alex Karev/Meredith Grey, don’t JUDGE ME OKAY? And again, the last one is hard. I think it’s a tie between Calzona and Japril. Calzona really fell apart, and fell apart hard, whereas Japril is still kind of being hinted at? (Even though this awful Maggie/Jackson thing is being pushed now, I can’t staaaand this.) 

I was a total Sawyer/Kate shipper as opposed to Jack/Kate, and I stand by that. But on that note, Sawyer/Juliet is my I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP ship. THEY BELONGED TOGETHER. When I was younger, I shipped the hell out of Claire and Charlie but now I kind of hate them together. And now I ship the hell out of Desmond/Charlie lol. Oh, and of course Desmond and Penny, but still, the Desmond/Charlie ship has sailed and I am the captain.

I don’t think I really have any friends on this site who would actually do this if I tagged them...so I’m just gonna say anyone who wants to do it should, just tag @sassybrowsreyes in your post!

[nataliecrown]

4x05 - The Tinder Box (The 100)

All right. So, I lied.

I’m busy this evening, and tomorrow evening, and all weekend, and next week…soooooooo I’m gonna whizz through a quick-cap of 4x05.

Ultimately, my feelings are mixed, as they were post 4x04. There was good, there was bad. None of the bad was so bad to make me fully angry, but it was frustrating enough that I’m just like whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

SO.

THE BAD

-          I get it. This season only has 13 eps and it’s a fast paced ep, but the way they have handled Octavia’s death and Bellamy’s grief is an actual tragedy. FUN FACT: I hated the prison scene from last week. And while none of the Blake related moments in this episode are inherently bad, the fact that Bellamy finds out the truth almost immediately is SUCH a wasted opportunity. Yes, I appreciate that Bell was smart enough to figure it out. But what was the point? It ends up having literally NO effect on his relationship with Echo. We don’t get to see what Bellamy without Octavia would be. We don’t even get to see him see O alive as the big reveal. WASTED. And they could have done better. They could have shown Bellamy have his lightbulb ‘O must have warned them moment’ but then Kane could have talked him down, in an attempt to correct him in case they were wrong (ie. In case Octavia had made it back in time to warn them, but then died from her wounds – which, PLAUSIBLE). Then Bellamy could have made the decision to rise up and lead despite not knowing if O was dead or alive, which would have lent so much more weight to the decision. It also would have made his interactions with Echo more poignant. Personally, I take issue with Bell being so chill around her even when he knows O is alive. But seeing him trying to reason with her, and putting the needs of all above the death of his sister? HOLY GUACAMOLE GUYS. Admittedly, I can’t figure out any viable reason for Clarke to not immediately clue him in once they were reunited…so the finding out she’s alive when he sees her moment was definitely out, but this alone would have been so much better! UGH

-          As touched upon, I’m struggling with the Bellamy/Echo stuff. I see what they’re doing, and I like it as a concept but the execution is shaky. Bellamy is being used to prop up Echo, and he’s a main character. I see shades of Clarke/Lexa, but also Clarke/Roan here (and I think we are meant to see both) but sadly the writers don’t seem to have learned from their mistake last season with Clarke’s 3A arc. Bellamy’s heavy handed speech to Riley was just UGH. A) We KNOW by now that Bellamy has regrets. Good lord. B) Riley. C) The entire scene is framed around Echo and I just. I just.

-          I think this is the most irritated I have ever been at the writers usage of Bellamy Blake, and yes – I include all of S3 in that statement (I stan S3). And he had some GREAT STUFF, truly. Bob is a superstar. But, UGH.

-          Riley is the actual worst, and I hate the writers for treating us like idiots. If they had just pulled out a random Arkadian for this ep it would have been better. Having all our main characters act like Riley is suddenly relevant is insulting. I hate.

-          I think that is all the stuff I outright hated??? There were some other little bits that bugged…I’ll do a separate section…

Bits that bugged…

-          The last time we saw Niylah and Clarke, Niylah was pissed at her. Ultimately, I loved all of Niylah’s moments with everyone, but the affection was jarring at first.

-          Roan and Clarke’s conversation was ultimately pretty pointless. It wasn’t even that tense. Buuuut I’m glad they are friends again at least.

-          Ilian blowing up the tech was so obvious to me that the moment when they leave him alone to tend to O, I just kind of rolled my eyes. THAT SAID, I buy that the characters were all pretty distracted. So, fine.

THE WONDERFUL

-          Everything Raven continues to be great. I mean, it’s HORRIBLE, and IDK how the hell my girl is gonna survive this. BUT YOU GUYS….Raven essentially saying she’ll happily sacrifice herself for the others? Ajhsdbajsbdajhas

-          RAVEN AND ABBY HAVE BEEN SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME SINCE WAY BACK IN 1X02 AND THIS WAS LIKE…THEIR BEST EPISODE SINCE THEN. Did Abby call her baby at one point? AM I MAKING THAT UP? The cute little bit where Raven is all IT’S A TWO SEATER. Abby trying to get her to chill and then Raven echoing Clarke in 3x16 ‘You’ve got to let me go’. ABBY’S DAUGHTERS.

-          NIYTAVIA

-          Ilian continues to be a compelling new character (fuck off Riley). I love the complexity of him blowing Arkadia up, but then helping both the girls. I continue to be intrigued.

-          MONTY THE MVP.

-          Marper are also growing on me, on a truly emotional level.

-          DAD MILLER FOREVER.

-          It is utterly ridiculous to me that Octavia was even attempting to walk, and that she apparently has zero broken limbs…HOWEVER, I feel like I need to point out that I have loved everything Octavia this season so there’s that.

-          CLARKE AND OCTAVIA

-          BELLAMY AND OCTAVIA. GOOD LORD AT THE END. AT THE END. And yeah, okay, they’ve still got shit to go through. But in a moment of trauma Bellamy cradles his baby sister, and O hugs him and cries. Fuck me.

-          The whole end sequence with Arkadia blowing up was perfect. I wish this director had directed the prison scene.

-          I AM PROBABLY FORGETTING SOMETHING.

-          But not THAT. Don’t worry. THAT gets its own section.

BELLARKE

-          THE HOOD REMOVAL SCENE WAS THE MOST EPIC ROMANCE SEQUENCE I EVER DID SEE.

-          What is a Marcus Kane? Clarke does not know a Marcus Kane.

-          I also j’adored Clarke’s reaction to there being no word from Bellamy or Stephens. Such a S2 throwback. I also hope Bellamy told Clarke to sit down before he revealed Stephens fate, because that’s gonna be traumatic (OH ALSO RE. ECHO…she just casually slit the throat of an Arkadian last week. The writers think we won’t care bc it’s just a rando but GUESS WHAT WRITERS, that rando was one of Bellamy’s PEOPLE and I do not BUY THEM BEING BFFS. MAKE ECHO EARN IT YOU MONSTERS)

-          Clarke maintained her composure for the most part, but it was glorious when Roan called her bluff. And I feel like now is a good time to reveal I have re evaluated 3x15. Back then, I argued that Clarke would – ultimately – have let Bellamy die, as she was going to with Abby. I’m not so sure anymore. These moments weren’t entirely comparable, because here Clarke DID have other options. But there is no doubt Roan knew that Bellamy would break Clarke, and she knew it too.

-          The Roan+Clarke/Echo+Bellamy scene seemed perfectly mirrored, so as much as I’m annoyed by the Echo stuff I’m also not concerned about romance.

-          CLARKE LOVES TO TOUCH HIM

-          That final shot of the Blake family IS EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING TO ME. I like that Clarke checked on Niylah, but then the writers had her back with the Blakes. It was SUCH a family shot. And I also really liked that Bellamy was the one on the ground cradling O, while Clarke was the one standing. Mah ship loves to subvert all the things. It’s great.

So yeah. It was a mixed bag. Fingers crossed 4x06 gets this season back on track after a couple of annoyingly flawed episodes. A Bellarkoan roadtrip oughta do it!

[sometimesrosy]

please abbreviate name and ship

Anonymous said:I’m not trying to be rude as I know you ship Bellarke, but can you explain why you think L/xa was manipulative towards Clarke and why you disliked their relationship? I just don’t see it that way and I would like to hear a different perspective.

Am I ready to go into this? Ok. First, I’m not taking offense. I don’t have a problem discussing different interpretations, however, fandom has a problem with me doing so, which is why I ask everyone to abbreviate Lxa and CL, so that I don’t show up in their ship or stan tags, not because I am disrespecting the character or ship, but because I honestly don’t want the harassment to start up all over again. The history of me and the cl shippers is ugly, with me mostly trying to stay out of it and them coming after me like I was trying to poison their puppy. All the puppies. The CL fandom had a name for me. It was “The Devil.” So you should know that.

Let me begin by telling you that I am the survivor of domestic abuse, and stared watching this show after finally kicking my emotionally, psychologically and economically abusive ex husband out of the house, and what I saw in CL was a reflection of my own relationship, aka, not healthy. I resonated with it as a woman with PTSD recovering from abuse. I tried to explain this in fandom but was ignored and erased and called a lesbophobe instead. I am not. I am an abuse survivor who cares about understanding and unpacking abusive relationships and empowering victims. Abuse is not limited to m/f relationships.

I need to make it clear that my interpretation of CL does not invalidate the interpretation of CL as an epic romance, fantasy story, or wlw empowerment tale. Those are all valid and I recognize the need for the wlw community to have the same kind of stories that straight people have always had, and CL within The 100 was SO CLOSE to being the epic fantasy that was needed. But the canon proved that it never was a romance genre story that allows... DEMANDS the happy ever after ending. So The 100 was a great disappointment to the fans. It failed to give them what they were looking for. CL was a LOT like a very traditional M/F romantic trope that does end up with a HEA lovestory ending, the captive princess and heroic warrior king story. So it’s no wonder they read it as an epic romance just like the ones they’ve been seeing for m/f romances for centuries... MILLENNIA. 

That said, I’m going to put my analysis under the jump, because I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want to hear it have it appear on their dash. This is an entirely opt-in meta, and if reading something critical of a ship you love or like is not what you want to do, then please be a responsible consumer of media and do not opt in.

okay, so op, I GET why you see nothing wrong with this romantic dynamic. I was like you once, and I thought the warrior/princess dynamic was sexy and romantic and the fantasy of being taken away from all your problems so you didn’t have to deal is A+. But ever since I was IN a relationship like that, and realized it wasn’t about love or romance, but rather about power and control, I cannot, AT ALL, find it attractive. It’s painful and harmful to be in. And it’s not great for the dominant lover, either, tbh.

Please note: I do not have a problem with them being wlw. NOT the problem. I’ve been involved with the lgbt community since 1988. I am bisexual, demiace and androgynous myself and my sister was in a long term relationship with a woman and I like other wlw ships just not this one--because for me, it reproduces a harmful m/f romantic trope. When I find m/f ships like this I don’t love them EITHER. (reylo is just as filtered out of my dash as cl is.) So that’s a lot of explaining why I disliked their relationship and it has to do with my experience in an abusive relationship that was about power and domination and how I learned that that is NOT love. So now I’m just gonna make some points about where there was manipulation in the the relationship, some of which came before romance, some of which was the ‘courtship.’

when they first met, L posed on the throne and blamed her for killing the army she’d sent to destroy the delinquents. Clarke WON the battle that L started, and she acted like that was murder. no.

When L told Clarke that Finn would die for HER. although her actions had nothing to do with his massacre.

When L told her that Finn’s mercy killing would haunt Clarke forever.

When L told Clarke that love was a weakness. That is the WORST advice ever and anyone who still stanned L after that nonsense... i just don’t understand why y’all have no sense. I knew from the start that was a sign that L was “in the wrong.” it is CLEARLY a bad life philosophy. (made much worse that she began a courtship with Clarke after using her philosophy to cut Clarke off from her people, thus leaving only HER love as worthy? IDK. But that’s after this timeline.)

When Clarke came running to save TonDC and Lxa from the bombs, and Lxa COERCED Clarke into letting them bomb the village. This was the first REAL sign to me that this relationship was manipulative and abusive and it wasn’t a relationship yet. They weren’t even friends yet. And Lxa used Clarke’s guilt over Finn and LOVE for Bellamy to rush her into a decision that benefitted LXA’s political agenda, to get rid of the troublesome rivals on the coalition. She used methods with Clarke that were the same exact thing that my ex used to do to me. She told her that she had no time to argue, although there was time for L’s argument, and there were no other solutions although Clarke offered like three separate ones (setting a fire as the probable most effective.) That was NEVER Clarke’s decision. Lxa COERCED her. And MANIPULATED her.

WORSE after it was done, LXA BLAMED HER FOR IT. Said it was her action. Forced her to keep it a secret (which only benefitted LXA.) Then tried to kill Octavia. 

Look I totally understand why Lxa was besotted with Clarke. She’s amazing. But she started pursuing her when Clarke was dependent upon Lxa’s army and goodwill. 

She started pushing her about her FEELINGS for Bellamy when they were military allies, AFTER telling her about how her political enemies used her love for Costia to control her, and KILLED her for it. So here she is, a political...associate, questioning her about someone she thinks she loves, after telling her that love is a weakness. Pushing her feelings for Bellamy as a what? Vulnerability? Way to control her? RIVAL FOR HER ROMANTIC ATTENTIONS? 

Then Lxa KISSES HER. IN the MIDDLE OF A CAMPAIGN? Can you freaking imagine? The woman with all the power, who Clarke depends upon for the life of her loved ones, essentially her “boss,” in a way. She makes a move on her. Think about this. “I like you, oh by the way, i hold your people’s life in my hand, so you should come live with me.” Dude. That’s not a sweet romance, it’s sexual harassment. 

Just to bring it to a point. Clarke rejects her advances and then THE NEXT WORDS are “he did it,” because Bellamy has sent up the signal, victorious warrior (rival) and get’s all Clarke’s attention. What happens then? Oh yeah. 

ON the verge of WINNING the freaking mountain completely, Lxa SELLS HER ROMANTIC RIVAL (bellamy) and Clarke’s people, who proved far more formidable and successful than she expected and so are a politcal threat to her, to her GENERATIONAL ENEMIES.  and then. get this.

AND THEN SHE INVITES HER TO COME LIVE WITH HER AGAIN. Oh hey babe, since your people are destroyed and your boyfriend is dead, wanna come to my place? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

And no, despite all the people who tried to argue that was a WISE political move, no the hell it wasn’t. It was the path to her demise. She broke faith with her allies, not just sky crew but also the coalition and they took her down for it. 

In addition, Lxa herself admitted that was her biggest regret. That was her biggest mistake. WRONG DECISION. Weak leader. And a betrayal.

THEN 3 months later, she kidnaps her and imprisons her. This is not romance. This is not protection. If it WERE protection, she would have sent her back to her people. She was a prisoner. This is not a romantic situation. 

Oh when she told her how PATIENT she’d been for ALLOWING her to not talk to her for two weeks. Bitch. You have her in prison. You aren’t patient. You aren’t kind. You kidnapped her. After your betrayal. YOU’RE the one who should be begging for her forgiveness. Instead you’re acting like she’s an immature child. What? 

She then gaslighted her and told her she didn’t do anything wrong when she betrayed her and she did the same thing anyone would do, in fact, LXA wasn’t the betrayer, CLARKE was the betrayer. She turned her OWN sins around and blamed them on Clarke. She did it. We saw her did it. We saw how she forced Clarke’s hand and made her choose between TERRIBLE choices. 

Then she FORCES her to bend the knee so she doesn’t murder all of sky crew. That was not romantic. That was force. 

And she offers her own private bent knee ceremony with no witnesses and promises we all know she won’t keep because she has no honor and no one there to make sure she does what she promises.

WHICH IS WHY Clarke can’t leave. Because no one else will make sure she keeps her promises.

AND THEN we get to the carrot part of the carrot and stick part of manipulation. You can leave and I’ll kill all your people, or you can STAY and get nice clothes and a safe room and good food and music and be treated like a pampered bird in a golden cage. Do what I say? Get nice things. Just because you are being given nice things and treated nicely doesn’t mean it’s not manipulation and you aren’t being dominated.

I might also add that during this time, L often mentioned her own death. As if it would happen. Now Clarke had to stay not only to save her people from death, but also to save LXA from death. Just so you know, this is a classic psychological abuse technique. The abuser threatens/implies suicide if the abusee ever leaves them. “Oh when you go I will die, that’s the way it is.”  

Reminder, when Clarke wanted to go to Arkadia and fix the massacre, Lxa REFUSED. When Clarke said, “so I’m a prisoner now?” Lxa said straight out in canon. “Yes you are a prisoner.” She had ALWAYS been a prisoner. She was not a guest. She had no freedom to leave. Making her feel like she had to or wanted to stay does not mean she actually had a choice. She did not. (compare this to when Bellamy told Octavia, i understand if you need to go, but you’ll always have a place with me.” O had the FREEDOM to stay or go, and B NEVER gave or withheld permission. She was free. Clarke was not.)

Oh and Clarke is not innocent in the manipulation, either. After the hakeldama massacre, Clarke used her evaluation of Lxa as being proud and concerned with her “legacy” to manipulate her into betraying her OWN people and their beliefs and saying “blood must NOT have blood.” And yes that led to L’s downfall, but to be fair, she already did it by sparing MW. L is vain, and Clarke worked that. To sky crew’s advantage, but she did. 

After they get back from Hakeldama Clarke has given up on Bellamy and their relationship starts being less manipulative. Oh wait. the whole “so wait, you want me to not take vengeance for your people’s crimes by wiping out the village, but you’re going to punish this actual murderer who just tried to kill you, huh? wow hypocrite much?” 

And then when Lxa decides to *surprise surprise* go back on her promise to treat sky crew like her own people and WIPE OUT THE ENTIRE POPULATION, she’s like, okay, I give you permission to leave now and be with your people. Aren’t I kind and merciful to let you go? NO YOU ARE NOT. It isn’t kind and it isn’t merciful and it isn’t loving to ALLOW your beloved to be with her people. before you wipe them out. Or even if you’re not. It shouldn’t be up to you whether she goes or stays. It should be up to HER. But it never was. 

Tbh it wasn’t until Lxa “let her go” after she’d already committed to murdering all Clarke’s people and Clarke couldn’t do anything to stop it anymore that the relationship stopped being manipulative. Their ENTIRE relationship was finding way to work each other. I do not like that kind of relationship. The only wholesome part of their relationship was their time with Pauna (no manipulaton it was a fine story) and the sex, (also a perfectly lovely story. )

Okay. go ahead and hate me now. A couple years after, I rewatched the show to see if I could see that stirring, epic love story in CL that the fans love, and even when I’d worked through my personal abuse issues and was no longer literally triggered by it, I found it to be a thin romance, far too political in nature. Just didn’t do it for me. Was it passionate? Yes. Did they like each other? D: No. I don’t think they were ever intimate enough with each other (except for with Pauna) to actually get to know each other. It was very pretty and glamourous. I am not a fan of glamour. It tends to be all show, little depth. 

all in all, I do NOT think CL is the love story that wlw deserve. I dont’ think it was intended to be. And I think people hungry for a canon fantasy love story believed they were getting their HEA that romances promise. But it wasn’t a romance. (I cannot make excuses for The 100′s social media presence at that time. they fucked up.) I think it was CLARKE’S story of darkness and trauma and recovery, and L was her shadow. She needed to fall n love with her to embrace her own dark side. And she needed to die to push forward both Clarke’s trauma and the plot. Lxa was a tragic hero like Macbeth. Doomed. I don’t like Macbeth as a character, either.

[sometimesrosy]

If anyone doubts the possibility of Raven's guilt coming into play... "From Raven’s perspective, “They wouldn’t be in space and threatened this way if it wasn’t for Raven’s indecision about the bunker,” says Morgan.“Raven screwed up the plan, and made them come get her, and ruined everyone’s chance of safety. So them being in space is completely Raven’s fault, and leaving Clarke, and ultimately killing Clarke is completely Raven’s fault, and she knows that.”

Oh wow. I was not even thinking about that. Also, if Bellamy and Clarke and Raven were in the bunker then Octavia would not have gone full monster, and even if the bunker had still failed and they did have to resort to cannibalism, it wasn’t the cannibalism that was the horror (i mean it was but the real horror was what it turned them into.) 

So yeah. TOTALLY. I totally forgot about that aspect of Raven’s character and story. She wanted to commit suicide and changed her mind and then called them to come get her and because they were her friends they did. That would totally make her feel like being in space and leaving Clarke behind to die was her fault. That explains her heartbroken face when she finds out that Clarke is alive and also the rather tight and forced hair style I was talking about yesterday, as a symbolic representation of her feelings about herself. 

From her perspective, she must be wracked with guilt. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll forgive Clarke or be on her side, because when people feel guilty they can often overcompensate by blaming others or being angry at them. And she has valid reasons to blame and fell angry at Clarke for what she’s done. So it might be easier for her to blame Clarke than to accept responsibility for her own actions. But it’s Raven and she’s smart, so she’s going to figure this out. 

I did not see that Lindsey interview, so this is good. That she’s talking about this means it’s part of her character arc. That we saw NONE of it means that we’re getting it next season. Phew. Another piece of evidence that they split this story into two seasons. Because we got Murphy’s character development with his self esteem issues and relationship problems, so that means Raven’s is up next. We got character development for Murphy and Emori and Monty and Harper, adjusted to their importance in the story. This means we’ll get Raven and Echo next season. We only got half of Bellamy, Clarke and Octavia’s character development. They’re two season stories. Usually Murphy’s and Raven’s stories would take half a season and they’d be over in the A season or stick to the B season. Anyway. It’s good news that there is story for Raven that we didn’t get. And that she holds guilt for leaving Clarke to die, means going INTO her story means she’s got to FACE Clarke, which means PRINCESS MECHANIC IS COMING HOME. You have no idea how relieved this makes me. And it also means all the things that are buried deep about Princess mechanic are coming out, including the love triangle, so yeah. I think I was right about c/b/e triggering c/f/r, and that might be the thing that gets princess mechanic back together. 

OKAY. BUT.

In regards to guilt and blame. Raven feeling guilt for making them come get her is totally reasonable and human and in character. BUT.

IF they hadn’t come to get her, Monty and Harper would NEVER have gotten into the bunker. They were specifically NOT on the list. And they made a narrative point of NOT putting them on the list. It might have seemed gratuitous in season 4, but it’s possible they did that on purpose for THIS reason right here. Monty could have saved the bunker. Their garden failed very early. But Monty fixed it in a week. If he’d been in the bunker, they could have avoided the horror of wonkru, cannibalism and the fighting pits. But he wouldn’t have been in the bunker. He and Harper would have died in the fire. 

Also. Emori and Murphy would have died. They would have been taken out with the others. Kane wouldn’t have overridden the list with them. They had no value with him, like Miller did, not only personally but with David begging for his life. They had no value with Octavia like Niylah did. 

Echo would also have died. It was only the rescue mission that gave her a shot at living. She’d already been banished. The Bellarke fandom might not care about that, but Raven will. 

But MORE than that. Yeah, if Raven hadn’t had her moment of suicidal ideation, then she, Clarke and Bellamy would have been safe inside the bunker, but. And this is the biggest but.

The bunker would be forever trapped inside the earth, and WOULD NEVER GET OUT.

Not only that, but the farm was dying already when they did get out. Kara Cooper was incompetent. Maybe if the whole bunker wasn’t stuffed full of warriors instead of farmers and crafters and scientist, but hey, that’s what the grounders valued.

The bunker was dead in the water. Or dead in the earth. And the only reason they got OUT was because spacekru was up there to let them out. Because Bellamy got The Eligius to open the bunker. 

Raven being in the bunker would not have kept Polis from collapsing on top of the bunker and trapping them.

Without our heroes being left outside of it, and surviving, Wonkru would be dead. All of them. Sooner rather than later.

So when trying to decide whether a particular action is bad or good, we have to look at all the repercussions. 

I just think that’s very interesting. The question of who is “to blame,” what is “bad,” how things might have turned out if we made different decisions.

Like. Hey. That question echoes out LARGER in the main story. Clarke, Bellamy and Monty committed genocide on Mount Weather, and the guilt they felt for that changed who they were and damaged them and hurt them terribly. But, if they hadn’t done it. If MW was freed from their imprisonment by skaikru bonemarrow, whether stolen or donated willingly, then they would have killed and enslaved the grounders. They had ALREADY stated their intentions. They believed the surface was their BIRTHRIGHT. They showed us what they were capable of by WILLINGLY becoming technological vampires and FEEDING off of grounder captives. Enslaving them. Turning them into cattle. Dehumanizing them. And even if they sentenced those who tortured grounders and turned them into reapers, what remains is that NONE of MW was innocent. Maya declared it so. She knew where the blood came from. Her mother knew. The people eating dinner so politely all KNEW. They knew the delinquents were there to make them stronger, even if they didn’t know that it would end up being a sacrifice and not intermarriage. 

If they had gotten out, they would have created a NEW horror upon the world. A worse one. What Clarke and Bellamy and Monty did WAS the only choice. They WERE the good guys. Even sacrificing their own people so they didn’t have to kill innocents in MW would have created a greater harm in the world. 

I am suddenly realizing that if your theory on The 100 doesn’t echo out into the larger story, then your theory is probably not correct. If your ship doesn’t reflect the larger themes, then it’s probably not endgame. If your interpretation of your favorite character doesn’t deal with the major philosophical storyline, then you’re probably off base. 

If you have a spec on The 100, or an interpretation, you have to find a way that it connects back to the main stories. The major themes. Here are the themes. Survival. Being the good guy. The enemy is like ourselves. History repeats itself. The only way to survive is together. Yin/Yang. Breaking the cycle. Making sure we deserve to survive. We’re responsible for our monster. None of us is innocent. Unity. Rebirth. Cycles.

There are probably a lot more and you can come up with them. But I think the best way to understand what’s happening in this story and who the characters are is to make sure your interpretations can connect back to larger themes. All the characters narrative arcs HAVE to connect back to the larger themes. They can be different larger themes, but they need to connect.

Here we have Raven connecting to issues of guilt and responsibility and blame and forgiveness. Just because she is a genius does not mean she is free from the morality of blowing up bridges or dams. Her “superiority” does not give her the freedom to do what she wants to lesser people. Like when she decided Murphy should be sacrificed for a mass murderer’s sake. But she’s never seemed to FEEL her own responsibility in these actions, but shifts them onto Clarke or Bellamy and blames them. She says to Clarke that she’s the one who always decides who lives and who dies, but Raven has actually been one of the people who has GIVEN Clarke that job. Multiple times. She tells her its her job and makes her assume the responsibility. That means she is ALSO responsible for Clarke’s decisions. Refusing to make the list herself doesn’t mean that she held no responsibility for it.

This all goes back to the main story. Whether or not we want it to because we stan Raven and think she’s never done anything questionable. She literally tortured Lincoln and has NEVER showed remorse for it, while judging Bellamy for saving slaves, or Clarke for sparing Finn from torture. I think this story will come out in season 6 and it’s been a long time coming.

It’s remarkable how much the fandom wants to shift ALL blame to whatever character they don’t like. Lately I’ve heard a lot of anti-clarke stuff. Season 3 it was anti-bellamy stuff. Oh we also have anti-echo stuff. No one ever seems to hold Raven responsible for some of the very same decisions they call Clarke selfish or a princess for. 

I swear this fandom is so meta it blows my mind.

[velvet-tread]

Unfiltered sweary mess: 507 edition

I had thoughts so I decided to this again. Let’s hope it doesn’t become a habit.

Let’s start with the Bellarke of it all, and the sheer joy of seeing them hustle up a plan together on the fly. AND LISTEN I am not on the #bellamysucksnow train, or the #bellarkeisdead train either and as such fair warning there is squee incoming. It feels like the core of the show has returned to us after s4’s barren years and IT IS GREAT. And honestly? I don’t care that romance isn’t in the air between them RIGHT NOW. I thought I would mind but I don’t. It feels right. It feels true to Bellamy, and it feels true to Clarke, and it feels exactly like the vibe I’d expect and want between two characters who love and respect each other and their choices, who have been apart for so long and need to reconnect. Let’s do right by Clarke and Bellamy, yeah? We’ve waited for 4 seasons (the last of which gave us sweet fa) we can wait a little longer.

And seriously, even if it turns out they are just beautiful co-leaders with a lot of professional respect for each other (yeah RIGHT) they could never, ever kill that relationship for me as long as they are in scenes together like this. I don’t care if they don’t bang (call me out on my lies someone), but the concurrent Bellarke scenes in the dining hall, and the triffid room, and then on Echo-watch just gave me so many OTP vibes. Bellarke are at their most effective when they’re together, even better when they have the support of their genius friends. And we got a return of the Bellarke dry-as comedy double act WTF @the100writersroom are you trying to be good at your jobs or something.

Top bantz, as we’d say in Essex.

Too bad the Bellarke unity ain’t gonna last, but thankfully, Bellarke are just as awesome when they are just…very angry and exasperated with each other ok, but DON’T HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SELF I MAY BE FURIOUS BUT WHEN DID YOU LAST SLEEP AND DO YOU NEED SOMETHING TO EAT

Great to have Monty back in the frame cutting through everyone’s bullshit. I thought he’d been relegated to a bit part this season. Oh ye of little faith. Does anyone realise that Monty is the biological weapon earth forgot? Put that angry face in a room with Octavia and see how long it takes for her to crack and wither from Monty’s externalised disappointment with everyone and everything.

Bellamy burning Octavia ow ow ow. I’ve already spoken about this at some length but damn that hurt. And it was deserved, but still spoke to the depth of his contempt for Blodreina.

Which brings me to…BELLARKE V BLODREINA: GRUDGE MATCH

And man, was this grudge match some time coming. To make sure the audience was VERY CLEAR on EVERYONE’S MORAL STANDING, the show helpfully prepped us with some little reminders that Bellamy helped commit a massacre, and Clarke did a load of horrible human testing in Becca’s lab last season. Thanks show.

So, all armed and loaded, the mud slinging began, and boy was it awesome.  First of all Bellarke takes Octavia to task about the worms and TURNS OUT OCTAVIA DIDN’T KNOW which get a grip on power here Octavia because it’s slipping from your grasp faster than you can say Wonkru Barbecue (shoutout to @mego42 – your time is coming). But Miller obviously watched the earlier part of the show and recapped for Octavia just in time because she’s ready for that shit and fires everyone’s dark past back at them. Cue: Bellamy’s best frowny face and Eliza Taylor’s saddest, most regretful Clarke eyes.

Bellarke disarmed and cowed (for now) live to fight another war they don’t want to fight.

But Octavia’s grudge match continues in her office when Indra enters with the intention of being reasonable, which is exactly the kind of shit Blodreina has warned her about before so help her god.

Indra is, obviously, the Queen of Everything and My Heart and delivers some bitchass Truths as Indra is wont to do and Octavia rewards her by throwing what my mind remembers as a skull but was probably a paperweight because why would Octavia have a skull in her office *nervous laughter*

Indra leaves, still Queen of Everything and My Heart, but not before delivering a portentous warning about losing yourself in the dark, which obviously Octavia is not going to listen to because DAUGHTERS, MAN.

Talking of daughters, Madi trying to suck at training was the most adorbs thing I’ve seen in a long time, guys and I am subscribed to a LOT of cat blogs. And man I felt for her. Sucking at anything sucks, and sucking on PURPOSE is just the height of unfair. And she’s in a new school! And the other kids are mean! And maybe they eat people!

Serious question though: from whence did Madi learn her swordswomanship? Clarke? Helios? Roan? (too soon?).

But don’t blame Clarke, Madi! Clarke’s Madi feels are pretty much on a par with mine which means she wants to cry every time she looks at her earnest little face AND CLARKE I FEEL THAT SO HARD YOUR BABY IS ADORABADASS. Which also means MAMA MODE ACTIVATED when Vodka Aunt Octavia starts messing up that precious braid she put in Madi’s hair earlier.

Hey Vodka Aunt, you don’t just get to come in here and make executive choices about Madi’s career, especially given your past efforts at parenting *looks at Ethan*

Oh, oh, oh and WE GOT A RETURN OF THE MUSICAL INTERLUDE! It was like Knocking on Heaven’s Door and Early Seasons feels all over again. But I gotta say Jason, fresh from the Sense8 finale my musical interlude expectations are higher these days and I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a dance off. Perhaps an orgy or an endgame B/C/E triad instead? *Wanheda jaw clench*

But anyway that whole sequence of Clarke sending Madi off to her first day of training sent me in to a spiral of sadness that lasted for a lot of minutes I wasn’t counting. It was very sad and I am sad about it. Poor Clarke.  Just as well Octavia helped her remember she’s motherfucking Wanheda.

MY GIRL ECHO MY GIRLING UP THE HOUSE.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate what a babe Echo kom Spacekru nee Azgeda is.  First of all: EVIDENCE OF SPACE GIRL SQUAD and I am all here for that. Second of all Echo is officially the first person on the show to get one over of Colonel Charmaine Diyoza SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING SHOT.

And listen up everyone who bashes at their keyboards dribbling with rage about the things other women like on television: I love ladies with swords and if you want an apology for that you’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead body. But can we just take a (second) moment to appreciate that for all of Echo’s badass sword skills, she is Clarke Griffining up this joint like a motherfucker. Echo is as Slytherin as Clarke and as sneaky as Clarke and as smart as Clarke and that manoeuvre she executed with Zeke and Raven was 100% a Clarke Griffin move, don’t @ me.

It’s almost like….they’re similar….on purpose….

Shout out to all the smart, insecure girls who aren’t sure if they belong. Learn to swordfight, use your brain, and get yourself a girl squad and a soft space dad boyfriend.

Sidebar: Clarke’s faith that Echo would take the eye down and her admiration when she does will keep me in Clecho feels for months.

But friends…I am the most fervent of Echo stans and Becho shippers and I am AFEARED. She is very much circling the abyss here and it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. I believe Raven will forgive her (FOR WHAT CAN SOMEONE PLS ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT RAVEN IS SO PISSED ABOUT??) and I believe the rest of Spacekru will 100% understand what she did because it was presented to us as an understandable choice.  But but but… what’s next?  Diyoza ain’t gonna take the turn the other cheek approach to learning that Echo took down her eye in the sky. What if her next move is to make *Echo* her eyes in exchange for safe passage for Spacekru?

*sweats forever*

That seems like a Diyoza move. And like…where would that leave Echo with Bellamy? Her choice would be: tell him and risk the whole mission and/or turn him into a lying liar to his sister too, or not tell him and risk their entire relationship and hurt him very badly. I think I know which one my loyal girl would choose and how that would end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

*ugly crying*

I’m not ready.

Okay it’s time for a Raven rant. What the hell is going on with Raven this season? Raven has had some beautifully executed arcs in the past, and I am high key here for her to finally get some NC-17 action now she’s done all that Work On Herself, but if Raven’s arc in s5 amounts to RAVEN DIDN’T GET BONED FOR 6 YEARS AND NOW SHE’S GETTING BONED then Imma flip a table.

Sidebar#2 obviously Raven got boned on the Ring, it’s not like they would have had a space orgy without her, come ON.

And just… I’m sorry I don’t get the Zaven. When they released the s5 pics I thought WOWZA these two are gonna be gr9 together and LOOK HE’S A SPACE EXPLORER. How could this possibly go wrong?  But somehow, they’ve managed to introduce a character who, on his own, is 10x as compelling as Wick, but has about -100% of the chemistry with Raven. Which is???? Some kind of alchemy??? how has that happened? I love Zeke! I love Raven!!! They’re both MAGNETIC on screen. On paper they should be a perfect fit but it’s like whenever they’re in the same scene together I have the sudden urge to check my emails.

And someone, please, just tell me what work Zaven is doing for either of these characters. What’s Raven’s conflict? How does Zeke resolve it? Is it *literally* Raven being presented with a hot dude with a similar skill set? Sorry I’m out.

And before anyone comes at me with the usual packet of whining about how Echo has stolen all of Raven’s screentime, I’d beg you all to remember that there is no law saying that one woman’s time on tv has to be at the expense of another and this is a GIANT SEXIST TRAP DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

Talking of out, Kabby is also circling the drain and [averts eyes from discourse].

But I’m calling Diyoza’s ship name, and if she bangs Kane I hereby pronounce it TEQUILA [whatever Kane’s ship name is, someone hmu].

OK I need to talk about Gaia now before I get shot down by a thunderbolt. The girl creeps me tf out but I SOMEHOW LOVE HER NOW. This is new and unnerving because feverish religious types are not usually my jam ESPECIALLY if they present Clarke’s daughter with a creepy sacred flash drive that they want to insert in her neck, but somehow Tati Gabrielle nails that line, even if my reaction seeing the Flame was exactly the same as my reaction to seeing the worms.

But I believe Gaia’s intentions, while creepy, are pure. And WHO PICKED UP on how fluid her loyalty is? She will serve Blodreina faithfully as long as she reigns. Huh.

In other news McCreary, and more importantly McCreary’s undercut, were absent from this episode I hope they are both enjoying Memori’s couples counselling retreat. I look forward to seeing his glazed expression next week as I cry my Becho tears.

[sometimesrosy]

I was away from tumblr all day so I saw all these anons you got complaining about Madi but I had no idea what it was about. I was expecting something super bad like Jason retweeting some random anti blogger who wrote meta about why Madi will always be the only important person to her forever and ever....but it's just one cute tweet lol. Madi is OBVIOUSLY the most important to her right now. I don't understand this backlash at all. Did people think she was gonna ditch Madi when Bellamy came down?

Yeah. I’m trying to figure that one out. 

People are very much…idk… in shipwar mode? And I’m hoping, but not that hopeful, that this isn’t an expression of internalized misogyny and hate towards mothers in general. 

They see Madi as a rival to Bellarke? So resent her, even though she probably saved Clarke’s life and sanity and won’t be against Bellamy or Bellarke at all? And Bellamy certainly won’t be against her? He can’t stop adopting kids, especially young girls who look like his sister. 

I am very much against shipwars. That’s not how I engage with my stories. I think it’s an antagonistic way to engage with fandom, and I won’t stand for it. Not with Madi x Clarke or B/cho or even Octavia which is less about ships and more about stanning and antis.

I WILL NOT set up a war against any character or ship. I WILL NOT. I will not tolerate it on my threads, I will not let it slide in my asks, I will unfollow you if you can’t help yourself (no judgement I just can’t have it on my dash,) and I will block if you are aggressive or hateful. And don’t you DARE tell anyone they aren’t allowed to like a character or ship because you think it’s wrong. You are not the ship police. Keep it to your own blogs where your opinion is yours.

If people want talk about characters, critically or not, without hating them or spreading hate for them, I’m your man. If people want to be angry that a character has a storyline at all or exists or isn’t dead or is a romantic interest. You’ve picked the wrong fan. Shipwars are DUMB. I will say you are being stupid. Antis are the problem. I WILL tell you you are wrong. So if you don’t want to hear me telling you what is wrong with your thinking when you try to excuse your hate for a character or ship, don’t send me that ask. Because I’m gonna scold. Fair warning. 

If you want help adjusting your thinking so you can accept your dislike for said character or ship, without causing all this emotional turmoil and antagonism, then YES. I am your man. 

I WILL talk about it. I will NOT excuse it. And I won’t say you are justified to be a dick. If you don’t like the salt, don’t send me shipwars or anti rhetoric.

And just because you REALLY love Bellamy or REALLY hate X doesn’t make your hate okay.