#i will say tho as a trans person - i 100% understand trans people seeing themselves in characters who don't fit gender norms

[unholy-fabray]

YEAH like on one hand, I'm all for headcanons and fan theories, but I get frustrated sometimes by popular headcanons that are clearly based on stereotypes - like the small, twinkish man or the woman who isn't hyperfeminine gets hc'd as trans. ALSO when someone is hc'd as autistic because they have a "child-like" or "cold" personality

I know it's been said a million times, but I despise when ace characters are infantilized. I hate when non-sexual relationships and qprs are portrayed as more "innocent" or "pure". I especially hate when the characters and their relationships are given a child-like lack of wisdom or intelligence

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Kinda sick of the racism from nonblacks (i say nonblacks because it ain't just the whites tho it's mainly them!) in the spiderverse fandom because why does black ppl centering themselves in fiction (you know cuz we never can have ANYTHING) bother them so much??

"Hobie would choose a white girl over you" "why does miles have to be with someone black" "why does he always have to have a black reader" like Ummmm DO Y'ALL NOT HEAR HOW DUMB AND IGNORANT YOU SOUND?

We gotta gatekeep the black characters in this fandom until ppl know how to act right and stop getting besides themselves

PREACH!!!!!! CAUSE LIKE -- People out here are really disturbed that they *checks notes* were reminded black people exist? black people being found specifically attractive in a way whiteness is CONSTANTLY.

Anti-Blackness, Hobie, & The Black!Reader -

[A SHORT rant about people who have an issue with Black!Readers]

I ALWAYS find it where when people beef with Black people who want to date other Black people.

Because it's 100% racism.

If you think that a Black person dating only Black people is wrong - Anti-blackness is probably the root.

Just kidding it is the root its literally the only solution and explanation hehehe

Because as a trans person - when someone says they're T4T, everyone is fine with that.

Cis people can understand that they will never understand the trans experience, and that trans people may be attracted and want relationships with people who can understand on a personal level.

But when a Black Person say they're 'Black4Black' suddenly that's wrong?? We can't do that??

It's like non-whites cannot grasp that anti-black racism is a very VERY specific experience that we deal with all our lives and we may want partners that can not only support us but relate too. Partners we don't have to explain race shit too.

No- blackness is an experience that HAS to be available to them. Black people's experiences, minds and bodies HAVE to be available for there consumption or we're in the wrong.

We are either there to be consumed (like Hobie is) or ignored (like the Black!Reader is).

All my life I've seen the default OC and default reader be a white person. Readers that don't speak AAVE, that show no attempt at culture outside the 'normal' heteronormative American family.

And suddenly we try to change that for ourselves and that's not cool.

Also - people who say that about Hobie are just outright uneducated.

Hobie is from 1978.

Racial Discrimination in the UK was outlawed in 1965. Regardless of whether you think he's 16 or 19 - Hobie Brown grew up under racial segregation from ages 3-6.

He grew up seeing it - experiencing racism. Living with and being raised by and surrounded by a community of older black people who lived under segregation.

And even after the bill - Racist attitudes would still be surrounding him realistically speaking.

HE'S NOT FROM NOW.

Acting like Hobie has no opinions on that, or experiences, or coping mechanisms or TRAUMA from that - is fucked up.

That's black trauma LOOK AT IT.

So YEAH, A guy who grew up under segregation and a police state would have trauma from it.

But they (racists) wanna sidestep that.

They'll talk all day about Hobie's police related trauma - but not the race thing......okay. Okay, no it's fine. I'm fine.

The idea that Hobie might have unsavory experiences with race makes them uncomfortable. The idea that Hobie would seek out Black Spaces to GET AWAY from white people - makes them foam at the mouth.

Not all white people are racist - but a white person can never understand anti-black racism from a personal view the way Hobie or I or you do.

That's just a fact.

But the idea that there's a special outlet we alone understand about Hobie, and connect with him through, they dislike that.

Anti-Blackness. It's everywhere.

YOINK!! I'M TAKING HOBIE BACK TO THE ANCESTORS. LETS GO.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

forgive me if I sent this before sdfg But I sorta have this headcanon about the Gerudo? Gender is fucking weird to me anyways, so my brain looks at "they only have a man every 100 years and he's destined to be king" and i'm like 'but why tho'. I like to think their view of gender just doesn't translate well into Hyrulian/a language with gender binary. There are technically trans* people born into the Gerudo (*everyone is assigned 'female' at birth) so they are able to sustain themselves just fine. But the role of like, champion or king or whatever you want to call it, there's a distinction from the average person. Ganondorf isn't special because of his, err, equipment or anything. But this nuance is lost on Hylians, and centuries of misunderstanding contributed to this idea of "ah gerudo only have 1 man" (always did find it backwards that divinity is feminine in this series, yet it's almost always Zelda's father The King who is in charge and gets to be a character)

Ohhh the famed question of Gender Among Gerudo!!!

Okay, so. I think I'm a little weird in that regard. First, I think I need to be a little transparent about how I write, because it changes the way I go about this sort of things. I tend to be the sort of person that kind of gravitates around fictional cultures with really weird gender components and pressure points and then want to scratch at them and push them to their breaking point, because it interests me to see characters struggling to make sense of their identity in these contexts.

Again, all of this is about my own approach/my own creative curiosity and not at all a rebuttal of any other approach!! I'm super interested to see gerudos interpreted across the fandom, it's always so endlessly fascinating!!

(I'm putting it under the cut because I don't know if my own approach interests you, so just in case!)

So. While I think that it would also make sense for gerudo to think of gender in way that are radically different than hylians, I'm personally interested to take the claims at face value and see what sort of people that would create --for better and for worse. I am a big fan of the gerudos, but I also see gender (and especially masculinity) as one of their messiest pressure points.

The reason why that interests me is that an enormous part of Descant's subtext is Ganondorf being completely overwhelmed by the notion of masculinity and its expectations. Having no real blueprint to even understand what being a man is even supposed to imply beyond old legends about kings long dead, more myth than people, the contradictory, vague and messy expectations of the gerudos women who hardly know any better than him (but might say that they do, right Koume&Kotake), and hylian men who are literal threats to his life, actively hated by his people and who get imprisonned/killed if they ever get inside gerudo lands... How in the world are you expected to construct a stable perception of yourself in a context like this? And that's excluding the differences between hylian and gerudo perception of masculinity, or the insane stuff that hylians do project upon him based on their own understanding of gender and gender dynamics. In the end (in Descant), it's Darunia who does the most for him in that regard, though pretty much without realizing it nor the importance that it holds for Ganondorf, and then uhhh everything goes well forever and nobody's people gets eaten by a reanimated dragon very importantly.

I am taking a rather dark interpretation of the gerudos in OoT by taking their situation so literally, buuut I'm that kind of writer unfortunately for everybody involved. :((( This makes their relationship with hylians and their own brithrates very very dire in a war context, makes Ganondorf's appearance in the equation all the more important --but also very... questionable in a lot of ways. Extreme arbitrary gendered power combined with absolutely crushing gender expectations you can't really run away from, and expectations that are far from neutral (that's some wild shit to project onto a literal newborn is all I'll say). I think a Ganondorf raised in such a context might try to do anything for his people, buuut a part of him might also cultivate some resentment for the role bestowed upon him and the fact that he can't just be. This would have uhh implications once he gets a whiff that divine power (so self-definition at its most absolute) is a goal he can strive for.

What can I say, I'm interested in the mess!!!

But I also think trans gerudos are completely fair game, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a social space for trans gerudo to exist without this kind of pressure, especially when, culturally, masculinity is also a function --but I also think sheikahs might be much, much better at the whole gender thing than gerudos are as a culture tbh.

And as far as Goddesses being feminine while Zelda not holding actual power... I agree that it feels weird. I decided to handle this as hylians using it as an excuse to have the Goddesses relegated as religious passivity --blessed symbols of balance-- while having the concrete messiness of down-to-earth power be the domain of men; less pure and heavenly, but also, by definition, more power.

(I think this also changes a lot across Hyrule's history, but again I'm talking OoT era)

Thank you so much for your ask!! I hope I didn't overspill with my own headcanons haha

[raspberryslut]

Maybe don’t use the word f*ggot? what tf is wrong with you...

hi. so just out of curiosity i searched my own blog and the only time i have used this word recently was in regards to a silly gerard way video (and honestly, probably the only time i personally have ever done so on this blog). in my opinion, in this post, i think its obvious i am saying this as a funny way of expressing my shock and love and exasperation at the pagentry of a celebrity--who has gone out of their way to align and ally themselves w lgbt and queer ppl--doing something thats uhh pretty significantly flamboyant and campy. i can understand how this can be misconstrued.

i am gay. i id as a lesbian. im not cis. i am a queer person. i need this to be clear here. i understand that there has been discussion of who can "reclaim" slurs in the past but it is not discussion i am taking part in here because it is irrelevant. i understand what youre saying when you say "dont use this word" ; youre saying dont be mean and callous towards people who you do not share experiences with, when you have not experienced the same level of animosity and aggression that they have and can experience. i acknowledge that i maybe i havent experienced ALL of the same things that people who have been called fag or queer or any other of the number of slurs that exist for gay men, effeminate men, men who dare to embrace a little bit of femininity.

at the same time gay history and culture are not something to shrink away from. gay people have called themselves """slurs""" as long as those slurs have been used against them by aggressors. and i am not using it in a negative connotation in that post, i am using it because i am happy someone who i look up to a little bit is doing something fucking hysterical and funny and it is bringing me--a lesbian, some unknown and confusing flavor of trans--joy and euphoria at seeing someone else bend gender norms and embrace parts of femininity i have struggled with.

there are people out there who are using this word as a slur, and using it demeaningly and as an aggressor in situations that are dangerous for people like me. i am not one of these people. there are so many more people to be worried about than a single blogger on a social media platform who used the word 'faggotry' on a post that did not get circulated widely.

in the same vein tho i understand what youre saying. and im sorry if me using it did upset you or trigger an upsetting memory, sincerely. that isnt something to be taken lightly. ill think a little harder in the future before i say things.

now considering the fact that i posted that. oh idk like a week ago, im pretty sure you dont follow me, which means you were probably looking thru the notes of that post. at a certain point i cant be responsible for what people who dont follow me end up seeing. i know this is the internet and everything lives forever but you are beholden to curate your own experience a little bit.

if you are following me tho, i mean. id suggest unfollowing. i do subscribe to a theory of uh. idk radical queer and lgbt liberation and strength and pride? im not afraid to rb and interact with people who toss around words deemed as slurs. if you dont want to be faced with that, because it triggers or upsets you, itd be in your best interest and safety to unfollow. thats understandable and honestly! i want you to do whats best for you. i want you to have an enjoyable internet/escape from the horrors of irl. truly!

i know this seems like a lot of words for someone who has like idk maybe 100 active followers. i know this isnt that serious. but it kinda is that serious to me! so again, sorry! but also im not apologetic about being like, a whole gay person who is very much in love with gay culture and strength.

also. i mean its gerard way if u think they havent heard and embraced much worse idek were even doing here at this point.

[timingmatters]

Yeah there’s tons of those articles that are like is Taylor gay/straight and they all say he is bi with no evidence which is strange.

To me having two queer actors would have been better just cos it is important to the community but I don’t get viciously hating on them. Also, apparently Casey went on about don’t assume people sexualities which is a weird thing to say if they are both cishet 💀

Yeah that conversation goes beyond this movie and it has a lot of nuance. Again, I’m personally not against straight people playing queer characters, for many reasons. One being people who come out after playing those roles (which happens a lot). But it is weird to have one straight person continuously playing a lot of queer characters and not be too involve as an ally either (like nicholas seems to be). But I don’t agree to hating on them for it either. As long as the story is done well that’s what matters. In terms of representation what matters is people seeing their stories on display (which is on writing). At the end people’s sexualities are a personal thing and shouldn’t be public if they don’t want it to be public. And alex and henry are gay cis men like shdhdhd let’s be honest here they got tons of representation on it on screen unlike others in the lgbtq community. BUT all of that is complicated and I understand and respect people who disagree with those sentiments. Which is why i don’t often talk on this topic. I get all sides. And it has a lot of nuance (look at the heartstopper cast with people constantly trying to get connor’s sexuality even tho he is barely 18 and doesn’t wanna talk about it).

I think Taylor not being straight is a word of mouth, which maybe shouldn’t be dismissed. Especially with Casey saying “don’t assume it”. And if he doesn’t wanna label it or talk about it i respect it. If he knows he’s straight that’s diff, but if he doesn’t quite know I understand not wanting to talk about it. He’s an actor but the public isn’t owned an explanation of his personal feelings or journey. With Nicholas is diff because I’ve been told he has called himself an ally, meaning he seems to he straight?

All in all, I personally care more for how the movie is done, and how they depict the characters. As long as that’s done well and they pour love into the characters and their performances that’s all that matters to me personally. And that’s something i can’t judge without even a trailer out.

Edit: let me be clear. Queer out of the closet people are important for representation too. But that goes beyond casting on movies. I UNDERSTAND and respect people who wanna see these movies told by queer people, but i just PERSONALLY (feel so free to disagree) think that the story itself matters much. This is only in sexuality tho. Gender is different. I will NEVER be okay with cis people playing trans characters. And my hesitation of disliking “straight” people playing queer characters comes a lot from people who come out AFTER playing queer characters. Often saying playing those characters helped them understand themselves. It just as a lot of nuance, but i also understand and agree with arguments of people who dislike it. And this is all on acting, my opinions are diff with writers and directors. People who PRODUCE queer movies or write them SHOULD be queer. My opinion is 100% diff for straight actors on queer roles vs straight people writing and directing queer stories.

[epicspheal]

Hi again! Just wanted to know your opinion on the Pokemon villains, especially towards a chance of redemption. I think the only villains that kinda got redeemed was Archie and Maxie, learning that what they did was a mistake ( a little too late tho) and maybe Colress ( being the true neutral he is), through the Alola games. But yeah, what's you're opinion on them?

Hi Ihopethisendswell!

I’ve been sitting on this ask for a bit just trying to gather my thoughts. To be honest, the Pokemon Villains are some of my least favorite aspects of the games, mainly because in my opinion they’re rarely handled well (except for original Team Plasma and Team Skull, those guys are amazing and I except no slander of either)

I’ll start with Team Rocket. They have a very basic but realistic evil goal (especially in a setting as fantastic as the world of Pokemon). I honestly can’t say I dislike them. I would like to see more teams using their concept of just taking advantage of Pokemon for profit and selfish reasons rather than trying to tie in some philosophy (because to be honest in my opinion most of the teams who try to use philosophy to justify their extremism just end up looking really stupid for the most part). I like Kanto Team Rocket better than Johto’s plot and Rainbow Rocket was only good for the “what if” aspect and adding to the new multiverse lore. As far as redemption...I don’t think Giovanni or the grunts really deserve it.

For Team Aqua and Team Magma, I actually like them in a “so bad it’s good” type of way (definitely nostalgia based as even though I got into Pokemon during the original anime, I didn’t get to play a main game until  gen 3). Like the idea of having two separate evil teams competing against each other to see who can enact their plans first is a super cool concept in my opinion but wasted on the idiocy of the “expand the land/expand the sea” goals. I will say I enjoyed their Emerald enhanced plot and ORAS’s expansion on them in the Delta Episode. I think the Emerald clash of Kyogre and Groudon was the most logical conclusion to their schemes. As far as redemption goes, I do think Maxie and Archie should’ve served some jail time like Chairman Rose because their plan was just as catastrophic if not more so.

For Team Galactic, ugh. They’re my second least favorite. They were just boring and made an already painfully slow game even more intolerable. This is where I give the Pokemon Anime credit, they made them more interesting in the games and I actually really loved how it was adapted (proof that when they want to the anime can have some really solid writing). Redemption for them? Nope, you literally tried to rewrite the world. Even with Cyrus’ tragic backstory...still nope.

Now for Team Plasma. This is how you do an evil team. Easily one of my favorite teams to actually go up against in game. I like that they actually tried to tackle an ethical question with Pokemon in Team Plasma.  N was a fantastic antagonist and I’m glad he saw the light at the end and he definitely deserves the redemption. And all of the Team Plasma grunts who actually believed in N’s goal deserve redemption. I really enjoyed what they did in BW2 where they had the Plasma House with the misguided former grunts and the confrontation between the old team plasma and Neo Team Plasma about how ostracized the reformed grunts are. Although I don’t like Neo Team Plasma as much (although the outfits are 100 times cooler), it does make sense that the ones still loyal to Ghetsis would try for another attempt. Also it took me a second runthrough of White 2 to really appreciate Colress and his “this is for science” mantra but you know what, I love him. Him and N are really awesome and deserve the redemption. Ghetsis can go jump in a fucking volcano though, him and his followers (:  As for Team Flare, they suffer a lot from not getting a sequel or third version. But like Team Galactic the anime adaptation did a lot of good for them. Team Flare is like Team Aqua/Magma for me in that I think they’re so bad it’s actually good. They actually had some funny dialogue bits and there was actually a lot of potential for them storywise if we had of gotten another Kalos game. The Great War, and AZ all had a lot of potential. Plus having an Elite 4 member working with them? That was more of a twist than Lysandre being the boss. And the Xerosic post-game plot was heartbreaking. Redemption wise though, it’s kind of hard to do with a group who literally tried to nuke the world. 

Team Skull. I love these guys. I love them so much. This is another example for me personally of an evil team done right. I really liked how they weren’t even evil, just frustrated youth who were failed by Alola’s tradition. Like I could seriously go on about how toxic the Alolan community really is if the fact that a child failing the island challenge (a coming of age journey) somehow makes them feel so down about themselves and feel like rejects to the point they join a literal gang to find some sort of belonging (this is of course not talking about the origins of Team Skull being from a disgraced Kahuna who incurred the wrath of the tapus). Like I feel so sorry for them and I wanted to yell at the Kahunas in game for them not recognizing that their traditions were creating the Team Skull problem. Team Skull definitely deserved their redemption as they reformed in the post game

Aether Foundation though, ugh. Easily my least favorite. I really disliked the Aether Family as a whole as I felt they were invasive to the plot and that the focus should’ve been on team skull and how traditions while important can have harmful consequences. I will say it was nice to have female antagonist and I vastly prefer SM Lusamine to USUM Lusamine. USUM Lusamine was more redeemable but she was less interesting and USUM really screws up Lillie’s development which I dislike (which is saying something because I really can’t stand Lillie). 

Team Yell was a disappointment. Honestly there was so much potential because like Team Skull they are a very grounded team (as you can see, I like the grounded in reality teams more so than the philosphical extremist ones). Like I can totally understand why they would form considering how dilapidated Spikemuth is. The issue is that they aren’t given a chance to do much actual evil. Even though Team Skull wasn’t really all that bad, they still did bad things. Which is realistic given their desperation. As desperate as Team Yell was to get Marnie to become champion I was expecting more sabotage and outright hostility. Which while being bad, would be realistic given their situation. That and the fact that no one really calls out the fact the irony of their sabotage actually delegitimizing Marnie’s strengths as a trainer. Like is Marnie truly one of the strongest trainers from the gym challenge or were their people who could’ve beat her who got targeted by Team Yell and ultimately dropped out? Not to mention the implications of ongoing beef between Team Yell and Chairman Rose. Again so much potential wasted. If they had of just made them just a tad more hostile and had someone point out how they were unintentionally making Marnie look bad, they’d easily be one of my favorites.

Macros Cosmos. I think this was the team most screwed over by the plot, and the controversial anime adaptation did them only a few favors. I’ve said this before, but the royal twins historical manipulation plot was more interesting than Rose’s “I’m going to start the Galarian Apocalypse to save Galar” plot. And the sad part is Rose could’ve been a very compelling antagonist. I’ll say that if they really wanted to make Rose an antagonist, they could’ve taken away the Eternatus plot and just used his poor communication skills to cause problems for the gym leaders and champion. A bad boss with impatience and crappy communication skills is something many people can relate to, and I think would’ve been a more interesting plot than trying to force philosophical extremism on to him because.

And lastly the Royal Twins. Man I hated them, but also they’re some of my favorite antagonists. I think people at times look solely at their goofy hairstyles and entitledness and forget how dangerous these two actually were. They had a whole network of spies loyal to them? Imagine a game with them as the main protagonists where it gets to the point you can’t trust the NPCs because who knows which one supports them. Also their historical revision plot is something so relevant today with textbooks being written in a way to minimize horrible atrocities such as the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Granted their plot in game left a lot to be desired, but they had so much potential and honestly a better reasoning to want to awake Eternatus than Rose did. As you can see I prefer the more grounded teams such as Rocket, Plasma, Skull and Yell (in theory) and the Royal Twins given how their goals relate to the real world. I also think in many ways Gamefreak does better with those plots wiriting wise than the philosophical extremist teams. 

[jettison-my-gift]

It looks like the UK Government wants to put restrictions on gender-neutral loos (at least i think that what this page is saying, it’s written in a very inaccessible way) please if you have a moment read the page and send an email to the link at the bottom telling them why it’s BS. Gender-neutral loos are so important for trans people we need more of them, not for them to be banned or whatever the government is planning I’ve put a copy of the Email I sent below the cut if you need any ideas for talking points (don’t copy my email directly tho because it’ll get marked as spam and they won’t read it) thank you so much for taking the time to help if you can, or just sharing helps too. thanks :) 

To whom it may concern,

This webpage sounds an awful lot like the government wants to put a ban on gender neutral loos. If that is the case then you'll be damaging more people then you'll be helping. The page reads "In recent years, there has been a trend towards the removal of well-established male-only/female-only spaces when premises are built or refurbished, and they have often been replaced with gender-neutral toilets. This places women at a significant disadvantage." I fail to see how this is the case. Gender neutral toilets tend to be individual cubicles with stronger walls and locks than most gendered loos, the idea that women won't have access to facilities for their "particular health and sanitary needs" is ridiculous, as of course gender-neutral loos would contain these facilities. Women wouldn't be less safe in gender-neutral loos, as already stated, these loos are strong individual cubicles, and let's be honest if a man was despicable enough to want to harass women in loos there is literally nothing stopping him for just entering the "women's loos." People building these toilets should obviously take into consideration things like queue length and would thus plan accordingly and instal the needed number of cubicles. The queues for "Women's loos" can already be so unbelievably long that making toilets gender-neutral would probably actually help this as more cubicles would exist. 

It's incredibly important to acknowledge why such facilities are so necessary. Single fathers with young daughters often struggle to find places to use the loo, of course a man can't enter the women's loos to keep his daughter safe while she uses the toilet, it is also understandable why he might not want to take her into the men's loos. After that what choices are they left with? gender-neutral loos would be the easiest solution to this problem. Of course this is just an example but the same line of thinking can be applied to other scenarios. There are many reasons why people of different genders may need to enter the toilet together but don't want to use up the disabled loo (eg different gender young friends who are scared to get separated, a women looking after a physically sound but mentally unwell man, or a man looking after a physically sound but mentally unwell woman, a family with many kids of different ages and genders who doesn't want to split up in a place they aren't familiar with, the list goes on)

Of course we are yet to even mention the elephant in the room and the reason I fear these suggestions have been put forward in the first place: Transgender people. Did you know that trans people have a higher rate of urinary tract infections and kidney issues then the general public? mostly because they find themselves scared to use public loos, so instead "hold it" causing real physical harm to their bodies. Trans people are often faced with a difficult decision when it comes to using the loo, either use the correct loo, the one that matches their gender, or use the wrong loo that matches the gender they were assigned at birth. Both these options can be scary and dangerous for the individual involved. Imagine, if you will, a trans woman, she is a woman and as such should be comfortable to use the ladies' loos. However if she doesn't look 100% like society expects cis-women to look then the other women in the toilets may call her out, verbally abuse her, or even just give her awkward looks, all of which aren't fun when you just what to use the loo. But if she chooses to use the men's loos instead, looking and dressing like the woman she is.. well you can imagine how that could potentially be worse. Trans men could have similar issues, using the men's loos would be ideal since they are men, but if the other men misread the man in question as a woman then he could experience some unpleasantries, likewise he can't really use the women's loos as we've already established: men just walking into the women's toilets is.. frowned upon, to say the least. All of this applies to any individual who doesn't fit society's expectation of what a person of a specific gender should look like. I've even had some butch lesbians tell me that they are sometimes scared to use the women's loos because people occasionally mistake them for men. And it's important to remember that not everyone can fit into the category of either "man" or "woman." Non-binary and Intersex people exist and finding toilets to use can be even more stressful to them. I myself am non-binary, and people read me as both a man and a woman, I can have one person call me "sir," only for another person to call me "ma'am" not 20 minutes later. I'm scared to use the women's loos in case the women in there read me as a man and feel uncomfortable, but likewise I'm scared to use the men's just in case I'm read as a woman! finding a gender-neutral toilet is a real life-line to me. Sometimes if I see a gender-neutral loo I'll use it even if I don't need to, because I don't know if and when I'll find another one. For all trans and gender-nonconforming individuals, gender-neutral toilets are so incredibly needed, we even have apps where we can tell each other where the nearest gender-neutral loo is, because sometimes for trans people the choice is: pee in a gender-neutral toilet, or don't pee at all (and then maybe get a urinary tract infection)

I hope this all counts as "evidence" as to why cis-people and trans-people alike are benefited by gender-neutral toilets, and I sincerely pled that you not only don't ban gender-neutral loos but instal more of them. 

also: "signage should be clear, and should not seek to avoid the use of gender-specific language unnecessarily as this causes public confusion."  Is a very concerning statement, it sounds like people are making efforts to include transgender people in their signage and you want them to stop. Acknowledging and including trans and non-binary folks is undeniably a good thing. Does it cause public confusion? or does it just force people to think about how gender might not be as black and white as they've been led to believe? Making people recognise gender diversity is a beautiful positive movement, and I see no reason why it should be stopped.    

[silverjirachi]

Do u rly 100% believe ur not a woman? If u dont mind sharing how did u figure that out? How can u separate urself from ur body like that? We r our bodies! I cant wrap my mind around it even tho I have dysphoria. Also women are the most oppressed class of people 2 this day so it seems really really stupid 2 let our oppressors claim womanhood. We r all born from vaginas. How do people ignore history & reality? Is pretending ur not who u r a coping mechanism? Wouldnt accepting ur body b healthier?

Hi there!  I considered not answering this because I don’t want to fan flames or stir discourse because I don’t want other people to get wrapped up into something that is 100% about me. I try really hard to cultivate a positive, lighthearted environment in all of my online presences.  But honestly your ask isn’t worded hatefully, and I think what I have to say is important and might help someone else, so I’m going to answer it. But I probably won’t answer anything else and there better not be any funny business in these notes.  If there is, I would like to politely ask people not to engage with it.  Please leave me, and everyone else in these notes, alone.  I am writing this for me, to answer your question about me, and I’m writing this in case there’s a baby enby out there who is exactly like me who who needs to read this today.

With that disclaimer aside...,

Yes, I really do 100% believe I am not a woman.  I unfortunately cannot easily explain how without falling into the traps of words like masculinity and femininity.  But it’s the same as any other identity.  How do you know you are a woman?  Is it something that you identify with, feel a personal relationship with?  Or does it ultimately only come from your body alone, and you feel absolutely no connotations or connections to it whatsoever?  Did it come to you through your body?  I know people who 100% identify with their assigned gender, but can’t really articulate how or why without falling into these same binaries.  And I know people who 100% DON’T identify with their assigned gender and cannot truly articulate how or why.  It doesn’t even have a lot to do with masculinity or femininity.  A lot of our language just doesn’t have the words to describe such an internal experience.

It is true that there is a very specific type of oppression that comes with being born in a female body- or a body that would otherwise assign you female at birth.  From what I can tell, that’s what a lot of this really relies on.  I don’t think anyone who is AFAB and nonbinary or ftm is really denying that, at least not from my experience.  I’m sure they’re out there.  But we, by and large, HAVE had the experience of discrimination in some way or another because of our “femaleness-” our ASSIGNED femaleness.  (Something that got thrown at me was the idea of female socialization- it’s true, I was socialized as a female bc that’s what my body “looked” like and that’s just what our society assumes).  But just as there is a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being AFAB, there is also a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being mtf, and there is a very specific type of oppression that goes along with being a poc and any of those other categories.  That’s at the core of intersectionality.  Different parts of our identities interact with each other in different ways.  People experience oppression and privilege in different ways and at different times depending on where they fall in this mix of race/class/gender/ability etc.

I also have body dysphoria, and it’s true our bodies can define a lot of our human experience (after all if I didn’t have a body I wouldn’t have dysphoria, right?? Godddd what a life).  But also because I have dysphoria, I do not think that our bodies should be the defining characteristic of our identities.  Bodies and presentation can cause a lot of our social interactions- including oppression- but I think to say woman and woman’s experience = female body is quite a limited summary of the issue with little nuance, and it’s also quite limiting with the way our society is changing.  This is why I heavily prefer terms like assigned female at birth.  This can imply that such a person may have had a socially female experience (like me) in part due to their body, and thus was socially assigned to be a female, but just... also isnt a woman for some reason or another.

I also think that what we strive to do is not to ignore history (I think very few people are denying the way women have been treated in history, and are still treated to this day) but we hope to build from it.  I think that’s why feminism and gender studies get lumped together.  A lot of feminist activists/scholars (many were both at the same time) led our current strides into gender constructivism.  I studied a lot of gender essentialism when I started my thesis, and to be honest, I saw the point behind it in the context of the time, but we’ve shifted in understanding and context since then.

And, in full disclosure, at the start of this whole adventure, (and i am SURE this will be used against me) I really did identify with being a woman.  I thought it was awesome to have the body I had and when I started witchcraft I did actually fall into that really easy trap of tying the female experience to magic.  (Honestly because I HATED my body and looking back that was probably a way to cope with DYSPHORIA and not the other way around).  And isn’t inherently harmful to have a working magical relationship with your body like that, but it is harmful when you think and say that’s the only way people can exist and the only way people can be magical.  But over time, I just started to change.  Nothing traumatic happened, I’ve been incredibly fortunate and privileged my entire life, it’s not a coping mechanism, I just started to identify with womanhood less and less, for no real particular reason- nothing about me personality or preference-wise changed.  Just my own internal view of myself.

I also got the words for gender euphoria.  And I noticed more and more that, if I was being honest with myself, that that was always how I had truly felt.  While it’s true gender roles shouldn’t exist, just like any other role or label, it’s different when someone chooses that role for themselves versus when they have it thrust upon them.  As a child, like many other AFAB children, I had the idea of womanhood thrust upon me, with all the roles and stereotypes that went along with it.  It’s fucked up in the first place, don’t get me wrong, but I knew people who embraced these fullheartedly, I knew people who didn’t.  But some people who didn’t still identified with womanhood, others became ftm, others became mtf.  I had “woman” thrust upon me, didn’t identify with it, rebelled against it, tried to rationalize it by accepting that I could be a “woman” without falling into gender stereotypes because there is no ONE correct way to be a woman (which there ISN’T), still didn’t feel right, did a full 180 and started buying pink lingerie and worshipped Aphrodite, that worked for a while and was overall a positive experience that helped me hate myself a little less, but at the end of the day, no matter what I did, I still did not identify as a woman.  What does happen to me, however?  I get a burst of euphoria when I am called a boy.  That makes me feel like I’m being really seen.  I actually resonate with that after years of not resonating at all with womanhood no matter how I sliced it, and that’s why it feels so fucking good.  I tried to identify as a woman. Believe me, I tried like all fucking hell.  Even though my presentation is still read as mostly female (I would disagree strongly with it but alas society and their fucking gender roles), I am quite the feminine boy-something to me, and I don’t have to justify that to anyone.

So TL;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism, I have lived a life full of very accepting, open-minded people and I won’t deny that I have that privilege, but in spite of that i STILL did not view myself as a woman, no matter how hard I tried.  I’ve actually generally accepted my body except on the days my dysphoria makes me want to throw my boobs across the room, I don’t think it’s denying history if we’re building from it, gender roles are fucked up.  I recognize that my experience being AFAB- and others who are AFAB- comes along with a particular type of oppression, but that’s why I prefer the term AFAB because it indicates the experience you’re talking about while also leaving it open to considering other experiences like my own and the experiences of other trans and nb folks.  In a few years AFAB might be outdated as a term and then we’ll find more terms to help figure this whole mess out.

TL;DR;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism and anyone is welcome to think that this is simply part of the horrible fallout of female socialization, and anyone is welcome to think that i’m mentally ill for identifying like this. people can think or say all they want about me but it won’t change the fact that I’m a boy-something and it won’t change all the years I struggled trying to figure that out.

Thank you for allowing me to write this all out, I think I really needed to.  This is something that had been floating in my brain forever, and explaining it all to you actually made my thoughts that much clearer.

Now everyone who sees this- please respect my wishes and please don’t clown in these notes if it spreads.  I’m tired enough about this as it is today.  I’m tired enough about fucking gender as it is.  We’re all fucking tired.  What I’ve shared today is about me and me alone and I want to keep it that way.

[neon-junkie]

I don't mean to alarm you, but the links just takes me to the answer post that you typed the links in🥺

are ya on mobile?? that might be why. im on PC n its workin fine for me. imma just copy eeeeverything for ya now tho

Please check out everything below before asking for a fic request. Note, Tumblr sometimes eats up messages so if it’s not added to my FICS IN PROGRESS list then just re-send it!! If I’m not down to write it, i’ll reply privately, or post it publically if you’ve asked as anon. I usually delete anon rejected fics after a few days also so you’ll have time to see it.

If you’re still unsure on whatever you wanna request after reading this then just ask!!! I don’t bite, promise. The only thing I bite are nazi’s.

If you prefer reading stuff on AO3 then my profile is HERE. I post most of my work there also, I prefer reading fics on there. Nicer layout :)

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Genres I will write: Erotic, Romance, Action, Fantasy, Alternative Universes, Cross-genres, Historical, Drabbles, Headcanons.

Genres I won’t write: Horror, Extreme gore/violence, Thrillers, Mystery, Political.

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NSFW limits: I’m quite open to kinks. Yes, this includes some weirder/darker stuff like slapping, bondage, sub/dom relationships, public places/risky locations, etc. If it’s not listed below then I’ll write it… unless if you request something I’ve forgotten to add lol.

I WONT write any of the following: Pregnancy/Birth, facials, nipple play, daddy doms/little girl, incest, age play, non-con, scat, piss, vomit, gore, alpha/omega dynamics.

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Shipping requests: I’m quite open to most ships. I’m fine with canon ships, to weird crack ships. If I don’t like a specific ship then I’ll just say!

I’m also very happy to do canon/reader fics, but I won’t do a specific OC. If you’re after OC/OC or canon/OC stuff then you’ll have to pay for that, otherwise I’ll just keep it as a reader insert so anyone can read it.

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Reader inserts: They’re probably my favourite things to write. I’m happy to ship ANYONE with ANY kind of reader. You’re more than welcome to request some specific things, such as the readers race, sexuality, height, age, size, etc.

The only time I’ll reject a reader insert fic is if I’m not too sure on how to write the canon character, or if you’re super specific with your reader. Like, I want anyeone to be able to read these kinda of fics, so if you request something like ‘can you write a fic for a 5'4, pansexual, blonde hair, mixed race, reader who likes ___ and disslikes ___ and wants ___ to happen’ then I’ll reject it. That’s just tooooo much specific stuff to include.

Keep these requests simple, like ‘Could you write a fic where ___ character falls for the reader despite them being taller?’ or ‘can you write a fic where the reader is trans and has a crush on ___ character?‘

I will mention that If you are after specific pronouns then just let me know. I’m also not 100% sure on everything gender wise, like I don’t know fully how people transition, how non-binary people adress themselves, etc. I’m a simple CIS female who understands that gender is a specific thing to each individual person. So as much as I do my research on these things, they probably won’t be spot on as everybodys different.

Also, if you don’t mention gender then it’ll automatically be fem reader as I, myself, am a wooman, so it’s easier to write for me. But like I said, just let me know what gender you’d like the reader to be.

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Fandoms I write for: How to train your dragon, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Red Dead Redemption, Bill and Ted, South Park, Les Misérables, Jay and Silent Bob. I have wrote the odd fic for specific fandoms here and there, so if you’re after something not on this list then just ask!

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Other notes: Some characters I just don’t know how to write, so I’ll let you know if I just can’t write something cause I don’t know how to.

If you do enjoy my work then remember that reblogging, leaving lil comments, and spamming me with kudos goes a long way for me. It’s massive motivation and makes my wee heart flutter every time I see it!!

Also, I’m not the best with descriptive writing!! I oddly find smut a lot easier to write, probably because I’m full of sin, but I do love writing a nice fluffy fic every now n again.

Theres no specific time limit for my writing. I do it when I do it, as blunt as that sounds. I’ll write stuff when I have the mindset for it, so if your fic takes a million years then that’ll be why lol. You’re welcome to poke your head by and ask on progress and such whenever you like, I don’t mind!! Please don’t be embarassed if you’ve asked for a fic fullllll of sin and wanna know the progress on it. Have you seen some of the crap I write? I’m not ashamed of that stuff, so you shouldn’t be either!

If you’re after just a drabble or headcanon list then just ask, but pls don’t ask for fics to be long. I aim to try make them lengthy, but sometimes I just get stumped on ‘em, so I’ll do what I can :^)

[i-am-goblin]

What's your stance on transmedicalism/transmeds/ transmed interaction?

Trigger warning: mentions of Dysphoria, Suicide, and Eating Disorders

So i see ive reached that spot in tumblr popularity where i get random questions about my opinions

Im tempted to leave this with a silly answer like "sorry immune from the discourse for a year" but i realize my blog has evolved from stupid silky goblin jokes to a somewhat educational blog (still with some goblin stuff tho) So lets talk

I am a teenage trans male (ftm). I experience crippling gender dysphoria (a condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because there's a mismatch/disconnect between their biological sex and gender identity[according to the NHS]) It has caused me extreme pain over the years. It was one of the leading causes of my eating disorder and suicidal thoughts

Now that you know some background about me. Lets define Transmedicalism: a belief system that in order to be trans one must feel gender dysphoria

Now i am not a transmed. But i used to be. I talked very openly about it as well. I firmly believed that trans people were required to have gender dysphoria. All of those trans youtubers who screamed at "snowflakes" for being a "trender". I watched them. And agreed with them. Im not proud of that time but it gives me a unique perspective on the issue.

I was a transmed because of my own insecurity. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that someone could even dare to call themselves trans without the crippling pain that made me at times suicidal. My whole trans identity was surrounded by pain. Its all i ever knew. So its all i thought was acceptable. I thought how was it possible for someone to want that big of a change without self hate. It made no sense to me. And if im being 100% honest its still hard to understand at times.

What made me switch over? I realized I was biased. I realized that i could never possibly understand what having no dysphoria is like. But life is not what i understand. Just because I couldnt process another's perspective dosent mean they werent just as valid as me.

Transmed will argue with me. But I know the arguments too well. Ive used them all. They all are flawed. Being trans is not an exact science. Science is weird and confusing and humans are too complex of creatures to put in boxes. Being trans should not be a higherarchy of pain.

My good friend opened my eyes to something. The idea that gender dysphoria is heavily fueled by internalized Transphobia. A part of me wants to say its not. But its similar to why some gay people hate themselves. Internalized homophobia. Gender dysphoria is very real and incredibly painful for most but we cant hold the standard by pain

So my opinion is i dont agree with Transmedicalism. But if a transmed interacts with me its hard for me to yell at them. Cause i know those people are likely wrapped in the same extreme pain i was.

If i reblog something from a transmed please do tell me. I dont want to support those people. I just wont call them horrible people.

I hope this was educational

[shizen-hime]

I've never had my chart read before :o if you're up for it, that would be cool. Born Dec 21, 1986 at 2pm in Rinteln, Germany

(my program didn’t have your town so I picked the nearest one to it)

Okay, let’s start! I like when people don’t ask me anonymously so I can see a bit the blog aesthetic since it helps me interpret heheSo as always I’m not English and if the hour is not 100% correct the interpretation can change and I`’m still learning blah blah blah

We see a really well balanced chart, though you lack a bit of air, and we actually see it kinda hurts you because of Chiron in Gemini but meh.So starting from your Asc, Venus is Taurus planet. We see it’s placed in Scorpio, and since this sign has Pluto on it, you have a strong Scorpio energy. We can clearly see how this Venus is important to you by looking at your blog, which is strongly aesthetically influenced by Scorpio (and you have a lot of your Sag planets in Scoprio’s house, the 8th), so the occult, death, deep stuff, the unseen, sex, transformation etc, are things that just are your thing. You love all things that are not what they look like? Or like you like seeing what’s inside stuff, not just the surface. And you don’t only like it but you love talking about it and have deep, meaningful conversations.I mean you only have to look at your blog to see your aesthetic, it’s so clear! And that Venus is really meaningful to you, like you HAVE to show it to the world, since Taurus is in your Asc and Venus is in the 6th house, the house of work environment, the house of the day-to-day stuff, you know? It’s part of your identity. It’s quite well aspected, so I’ll assume you’re probably very liked in your environment and workplace, but you cause a strong impression because of that Pluto there (but not like scary since it’s just there, not making any aspect). Also, Venus in this house might make you want to work at something related to health and it will ask you to reinvent and transform yourself. Your Sun and Moon are making a trine and this is super fortunate!!! Congrats! You have a kinda easy life and people probably like you a lot! You actually love children and animals, older people, etc. 

Your Leo Moon is really warm, you’re probably a true leader and also makes stronger the need to show up yourself, like you have to be original and true to yourself. Being a Sag it all makes you a really warm person. Being it at 5 you might be too... hmmm.. maybe interested in having fun? I mean, the 5th house is actually Leo’s so you’re basically in your element when you’re out or you flirt with someone? Being a Sag and that Moon there might make you a very passionate lover and a very generous one.

Super honest (maybe too much sometimes lmao) and I believe you must dislike so much gossip or stuff like that? Dunno, but Chiron in Gemini might make this. At least you don’t really like talking just because, and you hate talking nonsense, like unnecessary stuff? At some point of your life this kind of behavior could have hurt you somehow. Probably when you were between 7-13 or so. This Chiron (investigate about what this is, it’s very interesting) is actually making an opposition to your Mercury, so maybe at some point you felt you couldn’t communicate well or others didn’t understand you? Dunno but could be related to your lack of air, like you might feel you can’t communicate properly.Anyways, the Saturn/Mercury conjunction might make you someone serious about what you say, you’re very conscious and you don’t say stupid things. To say that, you just shut up (tho you won’t shut up when it’s a matter of defending others or your values).

A Sag Sun in the 8th house is really up to learn about Astrology, Tarot, the occult, magic (as we said before), so you would definitely be a good astrologer if you’d like to learn about it (I always recommend to do it, it helps a lot with anything lol). In general, you’re a pretty optimistic person (Jupiter in Pisces reinforces that), easygoing and very warm, I like you! (*sees you also have an Instagram and looks at it*) Death is definitely your aesthetic LOL, but you do it in a really loving way, you make it look very beautiful (your Venus!) and you really like animals as I assumed c:Definitely a Taurus Asc, your wide face features and forehead!

If we keep talking about your Jupiter, we can see reinforced your like in charity and your sympathetic and hospitable nature BUT it’s making a square to Chiron, so at some point you could have lost all your faith and this amazing optimism? The cure to this (if we can say it like that) as well as all Chiron difficulties are to face problems as they are and just try to solve them and if we can’t, accept them. The best part of Chiron is that you can actually use it to help others, and since it’s in the first house (just like mine) you can help others by liking themselves (probably something you had to face too). You probably inspire a lot, though you “uninspire” yourself lol. Dunno how to say it but it’s just like that.Definitely someone really liked in your environment and with that Mars conjunction it empowers that. Though Mars in Pisces gets lost (I also have it there) since it’s a warrior and Pisces definitely isn’t, it gives you the ability or the need on wanting to help others. Like if you see someone being bad to a minority or a weak person you’ll stand there for them and go to the end until you can “save” them. Really nice aspects, though you can get a bit carried away by all this “helper” energies and you might end up seeing yourself like the savior, like the one that has all the answers (adding your Mercury/Chiron/Jupiter), a “guru” or something like that (I’m also kinda like that haha). So just letting you know not everything is good or bad, white or black. All good can be bad and all bad can be good, you just have to learn how to use the energy life gave to you.

Let’s be ending! Your North Node is what you’ve come to do in this life or something like that, like your purpose here. Since it’s in the 12th house, you’re definitely here to help yourself and others, but by going to your inner self and discover who you are. Meditation is something I’d recommend you 100%. Isolating yourself is also good to you (like be alone to just think). Since it’s in Aries, sport would do very good on you too (well and who wouldn’t lmao). But yeah, like empowering yourself, be yourself and also take care of YOU. Since you’re older than people I usually read charts of (they’re all from the 2000 lol), you’ve probably experienced this “realization” energy, but you still have to go to your inner self and just meditate and discover, all your life.But you’re someone very capable of change. All your water, all your Scorpio and Sag is also a mutable sign, so definitely a very transforming person, and that’s so cool because life is about that tbh. I see you’re a trans man, and your chart tells a lot about how you’re willing to realize and able to face change without problems, willing to be your true self c:The 12th house tells a lot about this charity thing you have too! It’s like you have to find the balance to help others but by being and empowering yourself too (Aries). GOOD!

Being so much water and fire can make you someone that is like fluctuating between a lot and nothing, like it’s too much or it’s too little (dunno how to say it), like you can lack of stability a bit. And air is what you don’t have as we said, so you definitely can face problems when communicating or socializing at some point (tho I don’t think so). Maybe at sharing ideas? Meh, don’t take it too seriously.

Finishing with some aspects you might have right now. Hmm so Uranus is now entering Taurus (in your 12th house). Ever since it entered your 12th house it kind of made you suddenly change. I think it could be when you started your transition? When you realized you were a trans man? If it was during 2010 it could be, but if it was before (2007) maybe it was because of Pluto was transiting your Sun but yeah during that period of time you had to face a lot of sudden change of transformation and death and resurrection (your Pluto was also opposing to Uranus). It’s like you suddenly realized a lot of stuff and you HAD to change, and since you’re a pretty Uranian person you were totally ok with it and went to change. Now it’s like... it’s still there but you kind of have to make it solid. Like all this going to your inner self and change is making you lead to some point and you’re starting you see what it is, this March could have started this realization or this willing to make solid a lot of stuff.ALSO your career is about to change somehow? There will be a Pluto/Saturn conjunction right in your MC (career) and it will be truly on this December and during 2020 (a crisis year for all the world just wait).OOF so you got all the slow planets making things to you:1. Uranus that is transiting your 12th house, the house of your North Node, telling you what you’ve come to do in this life.2. Pluto/Saturn in your MC, telling you and giving you opportunities to change your career, to change your way to see authority, willing to empower yourself.3. Neptune transiting your Jupiter/Mars in Pisces that reinforces your charity/willing to help others, deep stuff, great imagination!!! 4. Jupiter that is transiting Sag and it gave you a pretty optimistic year and it’s still going to be there for a while, so use the energy to expand yourself.

You’ve probably had rough years but your life or the way you see it is definitely changing and you’re a changer so go for it! I definitely recommend you to investigate more about astrology, maybe Tarot or something related to this mystery stuff you like so much!

Dunno why but I felt a lot reading your chart.. like... idk I see you such a great person and I could feel it and I’m such a dumb Pisces that gets carried away by feelings so T _ T) And I see you’re so true to yourself and I think this makes you so happy, I love that.I’d love to hear what you think! I could say so many other things and there are probably tons of things I didn’t even realize (I’m still learning lol) so feel free to tell me anything or something c:

Have a great daaaaaaaaaaay!!!

[lachryphage]

heh. I feel like it’s been a while since I posted something super long and personal so I guess it’s due time, eh? a lot of that is because I know that ppl read these, and like I’m not asking you to NOT read them -- putting words into a semi-public space is actually a KEY component of the catharsis otherwise I’d just write this shit in a journal but... idk. the more someone knows me the more I feel as though I should be keeping myself secret. that’s a whole other casket of worms tho, today we’re talking about gender and sexuality. it is pride month, after all.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about not only my own identity, but also the space I have (and haven’t) occupied in the queer “community.”

Maybe, in a different life, in a more accepting world, or a different body, maybe I would identify as a gay man. 

Now there’s A LOT of qualifiers on that statement, which is why I haven’t really said it before. I mean, I don’t really feel like a Man, and I am certainly very attracted to women, to all genders, so being neither a man nor exclusively attracted to men -- well then how could I ever be a gay man? Those are, however, not the reasons I’ll likely never identify as a gay man.

So what’s making me say this in the first place? 

Before I really get into the meat of this I have to say that so much of what I’m exploring here rides the line of “””problematique””” which is a huge reason why I keep avoiding this conversation -- even when the conversation is only with myself. But so much of my identity has always been “problematic.” Ha. I’m never what people want of me. I’m queer and I’m trans and I’m kinky as hell and I don’t hate my abuser and I don’t give a SHIT about what words people use I prefer to withhold judgement even in situations I understand and doesn’t that just make you HATE me :)))))) and if it doesn’t I guarantee you there’s a part of me that makes you uncomfortable but that isn’t the point here, so once again, we’ll unpack that Pandora’s box another day. 

So with those disclaimers...

The people I identified with growing up were always people who 1) I interpreted as men and 2) were very “weird” -- which usually but not always meant queer. As a child I didn’t often understand when jokes were supposed to be mean. I didn’t see “men in dresses” jokes as mean because I always saw men who were having fun and being cool and I wanted to be just like them! I wanted to be like blatantly gay men, I wanted to be like men who were made fun of for being “accidentally” gay or were queer coded in a way that was meant to be belittling... bad rep didn’t hurt me. Because I’m not the identity those things are meant to harm, I’m not a trans woman. I’m not even, really, a gay man. At least not a cis one. And in general, as a child I just didn’t get when things were meant to be hurtful. I saw people having fun and I wanted to be like them.

(To kind of explain the problematic gender fuckery going on here I’ll go through one scenario so that MAYBE the intricacies are somewhat clearer: I often identified with characters that were SUPPOSED to be trans women -- superficially this seems bad because I am by no stretch of the imagination a trans women. But these characters weren’t trans women, they were how cisheteronormative society sees trans women: as men who are defying sexual and gender norms -- which is also bad because that’s not what trans women are. But the mockery went right over my head so what I was seeing in these characters were what cisheteronomative society sees (men breaking norms) without the judgement and bad connotations and THAT is what I identified with/admired. Is that still problematic of me? Most likely, but I’m fucking tired and this isn’t the point.)

So I found myself feeling more comfortable around boys and men (actually, once again, there’s a lot more than just sexuality and gender going on here but... come other time) and I especially felt comfortable around gay guys. Well. Sort of. While I was feeling harmony and understanding, they were rejecting me. You see, cis gay guys delight in talking about how disgusting “women’s” bodies are. Everything my body has, they hate. And I get it, it’s horribly traumatic to have something you don’t want constantly shoved down your throat by society. Trust me, I get it.

This happened again and again. I’d find maybe someone my age, or some older guys to look up to, that were gay and I’d finally start feeling comfortable and then suddenly I was hearing about how repulsive my body was. Even if I wasn’t trans, that’s pretty fucking damaging to hear in this stupid patriarchal society. Bodies with breasts and vaginas are already seen as lesser is it really necessary to say those things right in front of, right to someone with that kind of body? but I’m not cis. I get that extra layer of disconnect from my body called dysphoria and let me tell you that beast of a feeling really doesn’t need more fuel to feed my hatred of myself.

I know I’m wordy so let me simplify that. I identified with and felt comfortable around gay men more than any other type of person I had met at the time. And they told me I was disgusting.

It hurts. And I am angry. I see gay men and the culture they’ve created for themselves and even though it’s horribly cis and white and fatphobic there’s still so much of it that calls to me. And every time it’s a goddamn slap in the face because I know they’d never want me.

It doesn’t matter if I was 100% certain of my identity as a Man and that I only liked Men. They wouldn’t want me. It wouldn’t matter if I started T, if I got top AND bottom surgery, I’d never get to be one of them. And so you know what? Even if I decided all of those things about me, I will never identify as a gay man. 

I know they’re not all like that. Not all cis people, not all men :)

I desperately need to find more trans people to hang out with, because no matter how much I may have ever identified with gay men, they don’t want me and they don’t fucking deserve me.

That’s why, in different life, in a more accepting world, with a different body, I could identify as a gay man. But here and now, I never will.

[tumblunni]

Ok so.. I feel really ungrateful as fuck saying this.. but it kinda bugs me how much perrin being nonbinary just.. isn’t really shown at all.

At least, in what i’ve seen so far, yknow? I watched the first ep of someone else’s let’s play to see if i was gonna like this game, and i like this game SO MUCH that I stopped right there and am downloading it at the speed of light yo!!! My hype is maximum and I really don’t want this to be seen as a hate message or anything, it's just a mild opinion piece about something that bummed me out a little, as a nonbinary person.

Ok so.. again, this makes me sound like an ASSHOLE but I have to say it.. Perrin looks like a boy. 100% of all LPers I have seen have assumed they were a boy. I, a nonbinary person, assumed they were a boy. (And felt like absolute shit afterwards, man I still have to work on my internalized gender stereotypes!)

Now in real life I absolutely wouldn’t go around being some douchebag who tells other NB folk they aren’t dressing ‘right’, or whatever. In real life people can feel very different ways about being outside of conventional gender norms. Some people feel like “both at once” or “neither” or “something else entirely that doesn’t touch either side of our society’s current binary stereotypes”. And regardless of whether you’re agender/bigender/genderfluid or any other type of genderqueer person, your fashion sense doesn’t have to fit any strict rule to “prove” it to people. Some people try and dress in androgenous stuff, some people try to mix parts of both gendered fashion worlds, some people like to wear very neutral baggy stuff as a different way of being androgenous, some people like to wear wild and fun stuff that never had any gender stereotype in the first place/because it helps them feel confident in themself if they have a big brave kind of fashion, yknow? (that’s why I dyed my hair at least, and why I think a lot of lGBT people do) And of course, some people just prefer ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ clothes regardless of not being that gender, and if we can accept that cis women can enjoy ‘tomboy’ fashion then we should accept that trans people don’t have to fit into even more rigid fashion rules in order to ‘earn’ their gender.

BUT this isn’t real life, it’s a videogame

We have a lot more context here, with the context that this is a character designed within a fandom whose previous attempts at NB representation have kinda started setting up a trend. In that context, this is a bit worrying that it’s happened again, and maybe future fangame creators are feeling like they have to do it, or something?

Like the NB protagonist Pluto in Pokemon Uranium.

They’re still someone I deeply love, but their design looks incredibly masculine aside from a side ponytail. If anything their design communicates more that they’re a younger option compared to the other two, or something?

And the two NB protagonist options Ari and Decibel in Pokemon Reborn

Their designs look like more traditionally masculine and feminine-leaning ways of being nonbinary, ykno? And that wouldn’t be bad on it’s own, but let me try and explain what I mean...

A similar issue occurs in the unrelated dating sim Hustle Cat:

Which is generally incredibly progressive and actually the first dating sim I’ve ever seen that lets you play a nonbinary protag! But you still get only two character models to choose from.

Like it’s great that they had two options to aknowledge how not all trans people are the same, but it starts to look a bit.. odd, when those two options are ‘feminine and masculine’ and no form of androgenous is ever an option. or even like.. someone with a ‘masculine’ body build but a ‘feminine’ fashion sense. That would be kind of a stereotypical way to depict a trans character but it wouldn’t just be making a random design that could fit amoungst the already existing gendered protags and then just saying they’re trans. And a lot of people found it weird how these ones seem to be drawn as like.. both on the far masculine end, just a cis man and a trans man.

Like.. even as a nonbinary person myself, I wouldn’t have known these characters were nonbinary if you hadn’t told me. And that leaves me feeling horrible about myself that I judged them on first sight, but I mean this is within a genre of entertainment that’s literally never had any Me in it and i’ve got used to being all ‘no you’re just reading too much into it’ whenever i headcanon anyone as genderqueer...

And just.. I feel like if you’re gonna just draw another two masculine and feminine looking characters, or just a second masculine one (or a weird two masculine ones that’re labelled male and female with no option for in-between...) then couldn’t you have saved time by just letting us choose our pronouns for the two you already had? like I already play a lot of games headcanoning the protag as just a masc-fashion version of my enby self, I feel like kinda the point of adding a third design would be to make it something the others aren’t already delivering. Look at it this way, you already HAVE two nonbinary characters who look masculine and feminine, just like the player could also play them as a trans boy and trans girl. Pronoun selector box is the greatest invention of our time! So what I’m really saying is not “don’t have super masc NB protags” but just “can we have another option too?”

Oh, but then that’s also been done not-so-well by certain games too.. Awesome amazing multiplayer party game dating sim Monster Prom let’s you choose your pronouns!

...except these are your only character options! All of these are very clearly intended to be read as masc or femme, you’re probably gonna feel dysphoric as heck if you play them as trans, and none of them work super well as nonbinary either. I think pretty much every NB player has always gone for Oz (yellow one), cos he’s the one that’s most capable of fitting that headcanon just by virtue of being perpetually shadowed. Tho still his default is “he” pronouns, his fashion sense is masc and his voice is masc. Still I’m really fuckin proud of the fandom for collectively latching onto NB Oz and using “they” all the time in fanworks, and then the developers being okay with it, like holy shit man you healed my goddamn heart... <3

Still, it makes me feel a lil like this would have been easy to fix? like I’m not saying redraw everything to have them all change bodies/fashion style depending on your pronoun choice, but like.. maybe just not draw them with such super disparate body styles in the first place? like in this style every girl is hourglass and has weird legs out arms out pose, and every dude is a chunkfest with twice as big hands and feet. Like you could have maybe just made two of the characters be a very curvy girl and a very buff boy, and then the other two be more neutral in appearance but still retaining the same designs. Like I think if you just gave the blue girl a baggier shirt that doesn’t highlight her boobs and hips so much, she could easily be my favourite ‘most NB-able’ design! maybe also tone down the eyelash and lipstick effects?

I think probably a similar thing could have been done with the Reborn protagonists? like there’s nothing inherantly feminine about wearing a tanktop and having a fancy undercut hairstyle and such, its just the way they drew Ari that makes them look feminine. I guess maybe that’s a necessary evil of fangames, since they usually use edits of already existing characters from the games? Then again the games have plenty of androgenous characters already, even if nobody is canonically confirmed as LGBT. *shrug*

Anyway

I absolutely am not trying to nitpick and attack the game for not being perfect in this one aspect. i’m still super excited to even see someone like me in a videogame at all, and I’m definately not one of those people who’s like ‘I’d rather have nothing than have something flawed’. I already admire you greatly for what you’ve done for the inclusivity of this fandom, and I hope that my discussion of this stuff doesn’t discourage you from continuing.

And I guess my point is, in summary

What I mean is not “there are no nonbinary people who prefer to dress masculine instead of androgenous”, but instead that when you’re designing a nonbinary person as the only option a nonbinary player gets or the only nonbinary person in the game, with no playable option, it would probably be a little better to draw them androgenous.

Like, you’ve put that NB character into the role of representing all nonbinary people ever, to the hypothetical audience of people who’ve never heard of the concept before and aren’t super educated about the intricacies of gender presentation. And then also rather than using traditionally gendered outfits to aknowledge that NB people have many ways to present themselves... you’ve given us less ways to present ourselves.

Also it’s a little bit odd that you have an NB rival but said “we’re not ever considering an NB player option in the future”. Sorry but I cannot understand the logic? Like.. you know NB people play your game if you wanted to put NB representation in it, but you didn’t put it as playable because... reasons?? I hope maybe that interview was just taken out of context and you meant something more like “it’s not planned for now because it’s a lot of work and the game is still in its demo stage”, which is absolutely an understandable reason and how Uranium and Reborn did it. But Uranium and Reborn were kinda odd for being a world where literally nobody else aside from you could ever be NB, so I am really grateful that your game did add an NB character. And one in a big role!! This is what i mean about how grateful I am and how I feel awful that my bad internet typing skills are making this post come off as more aggressive than intended.. *sigh*

OH and also maybe a tip for Periin? just.. like.. mention their pronouns. It’s really frustrating to watch everyone doing let’s plays of this thing and constantly assuming Perrin is male because their design is very masculine. Even me! Even me was assume! :( So like... maybe just have Perrin actually tell the audience that they are nonbinary at some point, during this introduction? or have the protagonist’s inner monologue mention it, or another character mention it on the way towards meeting Perrin? like I dunno, maybe a Perrin fan npc?cos it would seem a bit more natural to talk about gender if it’s someone saying “wow I admire Perrin’s androgenous fashion sense” rather than like.. a stranger saying “i can’t tell if you’re a boy or a girl from your face”.

I can understand how it can be tricky to figure out how to introduce a LGBT character’s LGBT-ness without having them go around saying it to every new person they meet, it’s something I’ve had to fix in the editing process even as a trans person writing trans characters. But just having their gender only be mentioned on missable promotional material outside the game means that a lot of players won’t ever hear about it, and it like.. has zero impact of actual inclusivity on the game. It’s why people were angry about DUmbledore only getting revealed as gay after the series already ended. Him being gay missed all of its chances to make gay readers of the series feel welcome, or have any part of his character be informed by his sexuality. like the plot between him and grindlewold could have been way more effective if it was him losing a boyfriend to the dark arts, just sayin...

anyway whatever, bunni is bad at writing coherant posts in summary thanks for perrin and sorry for whining about perrin, aaaaa

[britshits]

do you think cis muns can play trans/nb chars? i know this opinion varies but i remember coming across a post that said cis muns shouldn't and now i see a lot of that happening

boy, oh boy… this question …………………….. is like 110% up for debate ?? hell, im not 100% on where i personally stand bc there are legit SO MANY FACTORS ??? pls don’t read this thinking it’s gospel bc it’s truly not and ik this gon turn into some long ass semi-rant, so scroll for a tl;dr, but … [ cracks knuckles ] let’s gO !

i’ll be 100% real n say that i am always, always going to be uber picky when i come across cis muns playing trans/nb muses. i instinctively raise my hackles and put everything they do under the microscope, mainly bc they ( obviously ) don’t have first-hand experience of the pressures / prejudices / issues / feelings etc. that are exclusive to our community, so they have a tendency to fall into all the harmful tropes when it comes to trans characters—and, without that innate understanding of our struggles, they don’t see how these things can be damaging. there’s also the whole issue of the media perpetuating this bs, so really, while research can do wonders, it’s never gonna be a catch-all solution.

that’s not to say i don’t think that cis people can write solid, unproblematic trans characters. i have most definitely met people who are cis who’ve played wonderful trans and/or non binary charries, whom i adored and would educate themselves and readily listen to any tips that i or other trans people gave them. i actually haven’t met a cis person who has played a non binary muse in a way i have an issue with so far. ik that there’s a general issue in the rpc with people changing their charrie from cis to nb to fill a ratio, which is a Mess and a Half, and ofc the assumption that the character’s assigned sex at birth matches that of the face claim. but, other than that nasty business, the majority of cis ppl playing nb charries are #tight and willing to learn, at least as far as i’ve experienced.

when it comes to binary trans muses tho … lmfa o ….. where do i even begin ?? like idk what it is about cis ppl but a lot of them are just absolutely OBSESSED with what’s goin on in a trans person’s pants ?? i mentioned this in another ask, but bruh… if i had a pound for every time some1 has fuckcin offhandedly brought up / alluded to my charrie’s downstairs configuration when we’re plotting, i’d have enough money to buy this blue hellsite and shut it tf down like i goddamn want to, but anyway !! the reason i bring this up is bc i see so many ppl who have this approach with their own characters—i.e. fetishising them. i mean if ur trans, u do u man, sexualising ur charrie is ur prerogative ?? but fuc k n cis ppl doing this…………………….. mmm hooo my go dd … do u realise how disgusting and nasty this shit is ??????? i mean trans ppl have enough shit w/ ppl sexualising us irl ( esp. trans women !! they literally have it so fuckn rough w/ tht i cant even begin 2 describe ) so like, leave it out of rp thx ???

but nope !!! y’all can’t do that !!!!!!!! (((((((((: tbh in the rpc, most of the bs seems to affect trans male muses, as far as i’ve seen. i think it’s partly bc trans female muses are so few and far between, which is an issue in and of itself, but also bc a lot of the rpc is so fuckin guilty of the nasty obsession with m/m ships. it’s usually cishet girls who pull this shit and they pull it w/ all males tbh, like they legit use gay guys as a fuckn object like “OMG !!!! GAYSZ !!! SO CUT E I LOVE THEM !!! COME SHIP W/ ME I LOVE GAY BOYZ !!! :’)” lmfaooo miss me w/ this shit !!! u wanna chat about lesbians being fetishised by cishet men and yet u only give a fuck about mlm when they’re being a cutesy lil otps or banging it out so u can flick ur bean hmm ?? i see u. but yeah, it’s not exclusively cishet girls who do this shit… like, cis ppl in general are pretty shit at playing trans males, specifically. like you’re lucky to find a single starter that isn’t tagged as “indie smut rp” or “indie gay rp” or if their threads aren’t laced with sexualised scenarios or worse… the dreaded C-Word. like bruh if ur not a trans male u literally have no business using that word regarding ur muse. ever.

tbh 99% of the time they don’t even realise just how gross they’re being, bc, as i mentioned before, they don’t have any concept of what it’s like to be trans and how gross and intrusive ppl can be towards us. they think that it’s just the same as writing any character and that they can sexualise them if they want to, without realising that .. it’s very different when you’re outside that community. you’re not exploring an aspect of your identity, so much as reducing someone else’s to a very, very small sector of theirs and then using it for entertainment.

tl;dr: it’s literally a clusterfuck of nope tbh and, on a personal lvl, i’m almost at the point of thinking it would be better if cis ppl don’t play trans charries, bc the bad far outweighs the good in terms of how harmful it can be. that said, i do not think that telling cis ppl not to play trans characters is the right thing to do, bc of the following:

the people who do the disgusting things i’ve mentioned above or anything else that’s nasty don’t listen to us anyway, so it’s not gonna solve that problem.

it reinforces the “write what you know” mantra, which i think we can all agree is so old n outdated in 2k17.

sometimes writing characters is how people manage to learn new things about themselves. i’ve actually met people who, through their character research, have realised that they identify as non binary or trans. having an outlet for feelings they may be having really helps some ppl along.

lastly, and what i personally believe to be the crux of this issue, is that by trying to police something like this you are essentially forcing disclosure of ooc gender. not everyone is comfortable or ready to say they are trans or they may not be sure about their gender identity at all, so forcing them to make it known for the sake of playing a character is not okay. and, ofc, we have the obvious addition that ppl lie, so you’re relying on good faith to carry it out.

so yeah, that’s my v. long-winded two cents on the matter. i have a feeling i’ve missed some details, but it’s 3am and i need to be up by like 9:30 so that’s all for now !! feel free to drop me another question if i’ve fuckt anything up or u would like clarification on anything !

[joshies-blog1]

im sorry if this isnt like rebloggable or you didnt want any debate(ignore or ask me to delete if so) but i thought as someone who is a transmed i could kinda hit some of ur points here??? just tryna be respectful tho :o) sorry this is long hehe

1) we dont try to be what cis people expect of us, instead binary trans people try to pass as the gender they desire to be because it helps calm our dysphoria. like id love to be able to wear skinny jeans, but because of my dysphoria saying my thighs are fat, and that i look like a lesbian, i wont wear them. another example might be a trans woman not wanting to wear tights/leggings until after bottom surgery because it could show off what they dont want(nicest way to put it)

2) there are truscum/transmed trans women too, and nonbinary people, and cis people. i dont remember urls very well but the creator of the ADNB(actually dysphoric nonbinary) flag is nonbinary, Blaire White and Miss London are trans women. every tucute ive seen absolutely hates the idea of cis people being transmeds, but i believe people who actually understand the struggle of being born in the wrong body are good people. i rather my therapist and doctors be transmedicalists too because that means ill be treated for my gender dysphoria. with this push that "you dont need dysphoria to be trans" doctors and the APA are now trying to agree. this will hurt everyone that is trans, or think they might be trans. someone who doesnt have dysphoria but thinks theyre trans shouldnt be given hormones, their 'brain map' is comfortable with their body and hormones change your body. so theyd become uncomfortable because their brain isnt seeing their body in the way it was comfortable as.

3) ok i cant say "none of us are rejecting any of that" because we have some bad eggs in the bunch. ive never seen someone be racist about black trans people tbh? thats not right. but feminine =/= female. what we're against is something like a "trans guy" who presents female. take Rin/gothfruits on instagram. they call themselves a nonbinary male, presents entirely female, and claims when they tried looking masculine it made them uncomfortable. if they start testosterone then theyll become uncomfortable because they dont have dysphoria. personally, i think theyre only saying their trans/gay because to them its a game, when i honestly only see a straight couple and a girl. but other people would say theyre doing it for the attention, because in todays day, a "queer" person who likes makeup is more likely to get a following than a girl who likes makeup. I think Kalvin Garrah's newer video hits better points about that than what i can say. and yeah, not everyone hates nonbinary people. most people respect nonbinary people, but dont believe in like 76 genders or queerfluid and think "its/it" pronouns are dehumanizing. they/them are very respectable pronouns and i personally believe that nonbinary/agender is totally valid. i can 100% believe in an atypical dysphoria that causes you to not want any sex organ or be in an androgynous body or form. idk here

4) the white stripe means nothing. a flag means nothing about the reality of something. take the "rabies pride flag" just because it was made doesnt mean anyone has "rabies pride". the "pedo pride flag" doesnt mean that pedophilia is right. a design truly means nothing unless its important to you. the gay flag is important to the lgbt community because it kinda just brings us together. but it was still made by someone it didnt suddenly exist because gay people exist.

uhhhh this was probably awful im so so so sorry if its difficult to read or if u didnt wanna read bc "ew dirty trscum fuck off", i just wanna be respectable here <333 hh oof

Sometimes i feel really bad for trusum because it seems they’re trying really hard for cis people to except them. By being the binary man by being what they think cis people want trans people to be. Also is it just me or are truscum all trans men ?? I dont think ive ever seen a trans woman be a truscum. But by them rejecting femminnie, fat, nonbinary, and anything that doesnt fit their ideal of binarilism of trans it really sets back trans people :-/ Like they say they’re only two genders but then whats the white in the trans flag ? Was that stripe for nonbinary people fake and made up ? Or have we just been wrong for years and not existed for years

anyways its 9am im tired and have smth to say