#i will say the davenports came across to me as more new adult

[totallysharkycomplete]

Flanneled Heart (Magnus Burnsides x Reader)

“Is that my shirt?”

You looked over the back of the couch up at Magnus, a confused smile on your face. “What?” You looked down at your oversized red flannel.

“That shirt, is that mine?” Magnus asked again pointing, his tone calm.

Aka Lucretia can take your memories but not you clothes.

ly opening your hands to show him.

“How did a ladybug get on the moon?” He laughed now.

For a moment you both laughed together.

“It must have been on someone when they came up.” You closed your hands around it. “I’ll take it back down tomorrow.” You yawned and looked over the view.

“Can I walk you home?” Magnus offered.

“I’d really like that.”

----------

You offered Magnus to come in as you found a safe place for your ladybug. A glass jar with a drop of water and a flower. “There, you’ll be safe there until I can get you home.” You looked over at Magnus who was looking around your room. The director had given you a small dorm to yourself for all your hard work. “Should we name it?”

Magnus smiled. “How about Penny?”

“That’s a perfect name.” You giggled before yawning again.

“I’ll let you get to sleep,” he said and moved to the door.

You followed behind him to close it. You stood in the doorway. “Thanks.”

“Thanks for what?” He smiled.

“Just thanks.” You stepped forward and hugged him. He took a moment before he wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. The two of you stayed embraced for a moment, neither wanting to let go. Finally you pulled away, but took his hand in yours. You got up on your tip toes and kissed his cheek.

“Good night, Magnus.”

“Good night.” He replied in almost a whisper.

----------

You pulled your flannel over your head, and your shorts on. Ready for bed. There was a knock on your door.

Opening your door you saw a bashful Magnus. “Um, hey.”

“Hi.” You replied. You didn’t think you’d have to see him so soon after deciding to kiss him.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but Taako locked me out and won’t let me back in. Could I sleep on your floor?” He shrugged in a questioning motion.

You moved aside and motioned for him to come in. “All yours.”

He moved in and you closed the door behind him. He stood there awkwardly and you moved towards your bed. “I don’t have many blankets,” You started.

“That’s alright.” He reassured you.

You grabbed the extra blanket and unrolled it. It was much smaller than him. You looked from the blanket to Magnus, then back at the blanket.

“You can just share the bed with me.” You stated.

“I, uh, wouldn't want to impose.” His face turned red.

“We’re both adults.” You smiled. “Don't worry. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

But that ended up being a lie.

He laid down next to you, trying to keep to his side as much as he could.

“Good night,” he whispered.

“Night,” you murmured, already falling asleep.

You don’t know how it happened, but when you awoke you were on the wrong side of the bed. Your head was rising and falling with each breath Magnus breathed. One of your hands reached across his chest and held his hand, his other arm was sprawled out across the bed.

Looking up at him you saw he was still asleep. Gently you lay your head back down on his chest and closed your eyes. You couldn’t pinpoint it but this was all so familiar. Like an old dream. As you lay there you thought about how you’d like to do this again. Magnus made you feel so safe and happy.

After a while you could feel a hand playing gently with your hair. He must have thought you were still asleep. He was so gentle and tender for someone with such scarred and strong hands. He continued to play with your hair and you let out a content sign. He froze.

You turned your head to look at his blushing face. “Why’d you stop?” You almost pouted without meaning to.

“You were awake?” He had a confused look on his face.

“Yes, is that okay?” You almost whispered out of embarrassment.

“I just thought, um, you’d tell me to stop.” He looked away from you.

You moved your hands under your chin and looked at him, your head still rising and falling with his chest. “You can keep doing it if you want.”

He looked at you with a small smile, and hesitantly moved his hand back into your hair.

Closing your eyes you let out another content sigh. You could feel Magnus chuckle under you.

“What’s so funny?” You inquired, not bothering to open your eyes.

“Nothing.” He hummed, his other hand moving up to play with your hair as well.

As he played you almost fell asleep again. Until he said your name. You let out a yawn and a stretch. He moved his hands from your hair to your back. Gently holding you to see if you’d object.

“Would you want to, um, I don’t know, maybe go to the Chug and Squeeze sometime?” He nervously laughed.

“Of course I would.”

“Really?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Who else is coming?” You watched as his smile fell from his face.

“Oh I, um.” He wasn’t sure what to say.

You sat up a little. “Wait, did you mean as a date?” Your face got red not understanding what he was asking.

“Yeah, unless you’d rather not. I totally understand. If you,”

“Yes,” you cut him off. “Magnus, I’d really like that.” You snaked your arms around his neck giving him a hug. When you pulled away you were only inches from his face. Leaning in, you kissed his cheek again.

He moved one of his hands to hold your face. He ran his thumb over your chin, then your bottom lip. You stayed still and watched him, eyes fluttering.

His first kiss was gentle, waiting for you to return it, and when you did he kissed you more feverishly. His hand moved from your face to the back of your head, the other to hold your waist. One of yours was on his chest the other held his face.

His thumb rubbed circles onto your waist and a small moan escaped your lips. You froze. Looking up at Magnus, you saw he had a satisfied grin on his face.

“I, uh,” you stuttered.

All he did was chuckle.

Three loud bangs came from your door and you shot up. “Yes?” You called out. Magnus got up as well.

“It’s cha’ boy.” You heard from the other side.

You let a relieved sigh. “What’s up?” You moved to unlock the door.

“I’m looking for Magnus.” He said as you got the door open. He looked at you and noticed your swollen lips, then behind you at Magnus in the same state. A huge shit eating grin appeared on his face. “My bad homie, didn’t mean to interrupt.” You shoved his shoulder annoyed.

“Why’d you even think to look here?” Your brows furrowed.

Taako leaned in and whispered, “I’ve seen how that beefcake has been looking at you. Was only a matter of time.”

You burst out laughing. “Whatever.”

“It’s true!” The wizard exclaimed. “Plus I knew I locked him out last night so he had to sleep somewhere.”

Magnus looked over with confusion, but also like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t, look.

“Director’s looking for us, my dude. Ready to ship us off.” Taako turned and started to walk away. Magnus started to walk off too before you grabbed his hand. He turned and looked at you.

“Let’s talk about that date when you get back.” You smiled and he smiled back.

He put his hand on your shoulder and kissed your cheek. “See you later.”

“See you later.”

----------

You know it didn't do any good to worry, but you couldn’t help. There was a rumor going around that the place the reclaimers had been sent to was the most dangerous yet. People were even whispering it had been too much for the Director. To pass the time and distract your nerves you had been talking with Johan when you heard Avi yelling. You ran as fast as you could see if the boys were back, and sure enough there were Merle, Taako, and, and mannequin.

“Where’s Magnus?” Avi asked.

Taako looked at him and then at you. Then he said exactly what you didn’t want to hear. Magnus didn’t make it back. Too numbed by the news to even cry.

----------

When the stranger handed you a vile of Voidfish icor and told you to drink you listened.

-----------

The Starblaster crew were all crammed into an over crowded Tavern. You were shoved into the corner but somehow people kept bumping into you. Fed up with the situation, the next person who bumped into you, you shoved back with both hands. They stumbled for a second then turned around.

He pouted like a puppy and your face turned red.

“Sorry, Magnus.” You apologized realizing you had pushed your friend.

“Did I bump you? I’m sorry.” He apologized as well, before someone staggered into him causing him to bump you again. His hand grabbed your shoulders before you fell into someone else. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Gods, Yes.” You take his hand in yours and make your way outside.

With his hand still in your, the two of you begin your trek back to the ship. He doesn’t comment on his hand in your, just enjoys the way your soft hand is engulfed in his larger more calloused one.

“Oh wow,” you whisper and drop his hand.

He looks from where your hands had been, up to see you wandering into a field of flowers that hadn’t been there on the way into town. They seem to sparkle in the moonlight. He smiles as you fall to your knees and inhale deeply.

“Maggie, get over here and smell these. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a flower like this before.” You smiled up at him, and he kneels down beside you.

He takes a deep breath in and sneezes. The loud noise causes hundreds of small butterfly-like creatures to fly up into the air, their wings illuminated in the moonlight. You let out a soft wow and tilt your head towards the sky to watch. Magnus’s gaze is fixed on you.

----------

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Magnus asks. His hand is on your chin, slightly tilting your face looking for injuries.

“M’ fine.” You murmur, not looking at him, your eyebrows knitted together.

He stops moving your face and moves his hand to your cheek to cup it, his thumb gently brushes against it. “It’s okay if you’re not okay.”

You take a second and take a shaky breath in, your hands move up to grab onto his shirt. “Gods, Magnus… I, they…” You try to form a cohesive thought.

You had left the ship with everyone but Magnus and Davenport. Magnus stayed behind because Davenport had fallen ill with a sickness and everyone went to find a cure. The world had been friendly enough, but turned hostile. Magnus didn’t press for details, but could infer what happened judging by your tattered and shaken state.

Magnus pulled you to his chest and held you tight while you sobbed. His hands stroked soft circles into your back. “It’s alright. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“It all happened so fast, I couldn’t, I couldn’t do anything. They’re all gone.” You managed to whimper between heavy sobs.

“You did your best. They’ll be back soon.” Magnus reminded you.

Magnus held you tight to him until your sobs had died down and your breathing was almost back to normal.

You pulled back and wiped your face on your sleeves, giving Magnus a quick sorry for almost soaking his shirt in tears. “How is Davenport?” You take one of Magnus’s hands in both of yours.

“He’s resting and he’ll,” Magnus pauses thinking about how to phrase his words. “He’ll make it a little while longer.”

You frowned but nodded, and began to walk to Davenport’s room, dragging Magnus with you. Knocking, even knowing he couldn’t respond, you entered.

Davenport was laid on his bed, with stones on and around him that Merle had put there before he left. One let out a soft tune of his heart beat. You let go of Magnus's hand and sat down at the chair by his bed, and held your captain’s hand. Magnus moves to stand next to you.

“I’m sorry we failed you,” You whispered to your captain, then looked up to Magnus. “He looks so peaceful.”

There was a beat of silence before Magnus spoke. “It is peaceful. It doesn't hurt.” He places a hand on your shoulder. “I know you haven’t…” Magnus doesn’t finish his next words but he knows you know what he means when he sees you nod in understandment.

“Thanks,” you whisper.

It’s in the middle of the night when it happens. You’ve fallen asleep with your head on his bed, still holding his hand. Magnus is awake, but sitting with his back against the wall, watching you.

You lift your head when the steady beat of his heart drops to a single sound. Your eyes shoot to Magnus who is getting up and moving towards you. He touches the stone and it silences.

----------

The rest of the night you couldn’t sleep. Magnus took care of Davenport and told you to get some sleep. You tossed and turned until deciding to give up and made your way up to the deck.

There was a soft cold breeze that blew. You sat cross legged, looking down over this world you now hated so much. A sort of rage bubbled inside of you, it began in your stomach and bubbled into your chest and rolled out of your eyes as tears. You let a sob escape your lips and began wiping the tears of your cheeks.

Standing you grabbed the railing and yelled down at the planet. “I hate you!” You sobbed, your body shaking with a mixture of rage and from the cold.

Two hands landed on your shoulders, accompanied by a warmth surrounding you. “Your shaking,” Magnus comments.

You look down to see he’s draped one of his flannels over your shoulders, a large red one.

He gently pulls you to his chest and rubs his thumbs over your shoulders. “I thought you went to sleep.”

“Couldn’t.” You sniff.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Magnus offers.

You simply shake your head.

Magnus thinks for a second. “Did I ever tell you about the first fight I got into?”

Magnus begins to tell you tales of his childhood, how he got beat up trying to save a dog from a group of boys. He continues to tell you more wacky adventures from his past making you laugh and smile.

“Did I ever tell you how I met Taako and Lup?” He asks.

“No, tell me.” You're smiling up at him, leaning against the railing. You’ve placed his flannel on and buttoned it up.

“Okay, it’s kind of embarrassing. I was on the IPRE campus and I,” he clears his throat. “I had never learned how to tie my shoes. I had been trying to tie them for five minutes and I got so frustrated I started crying.”

“Aw, Maggie,” You coo and lay your hand on his arm.

“Lup and Taako noticed and came over and laughed. Then Lup taught me how to tie them properly.” Magnus’s smile slips a little.

You definitely notice and think for a second, before pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry, Magnus.”

He hugs you back. “For what?”

“You’ve been comforting me, but you lost your friends too.” You pull back and look at his face. His brows are furrowed and he’s frowning.

“It’s… okay. Really. I know they’ll be back and it’s kinda like closing your eyes then waking up back on the ship.” Magnus informs you, before letting out a small yawn.

“You should get some sleep.” You offer, trying to take a step back, but his arms are still wrapped around you and he doesn’t let go.

“I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re still awake.” He murmurs.

You step back into his touch and think for a moment. Your head gently rests against his chest and you can feel his chest gently rise and fall with each breath he takes. He holds you close in silence for a while, until you speak. “Let’s go to bed.”

He doesn’t question when you take his hand in yours and lead him through the ship to your room. Wordlessly he follows you inside and the door closes shut. You walk to your side and lay down. He lays down on the other side of the bed so you’re laying back to back.

“Night,” you whisper.

“Good night,” He whispers back.

----------

“And then he said that’s not a gnome, that’s my dog!”

You bust out laughing at the end of Magnus’s story and he chuckles along with you. The two of you were sitting on the deck of the Star Blaster as it hovered far above the planet that had claimed your friend’s lives. Weeks have passed since then, and you and Magnus had spent the time bonding and getting to know each other better.

The bottle of mead that had been sat between you both was now empty, and you’re feeling warm and fuzzy. Magnus wasn't affected by it as much. A silence fell over you as your laughter died down.

“I like this.” You break the silence.

“The mead?” Magnus tilts his head.

“No, being here with you.” You confess.

Magnus grins ear to ear. “I like it too.”

A breeze blows by causing you to shiver. You hug your flannel, you’ve let Magnus know he’s not getting it back, tight against you.

“Are you cold?” Magnus asks, concerned.

You shake your head. “I’ll be okay.”

Magnus looks at you, his eyes search your face for you don’t know what. Then he acts. “Here.” Effortlessly Magnus pulls you into his lap and wraps his arms around your waist. “Is this okay?”

You put a hand to his chest and rest your cheek against him. “Mmhmm.” You hum as your eyes flutter shut. Magnus’s body is nice and warm, and his arms wrapped around you make you feel safe and comfortable.

Magnus says your name but you don’t move from your comfortable position, you only hum in response. “I’m happy to be here with you. I mean, it sucks what happened to our friends, but out of everyone I could spend this time with, I’m glad it’s you.”

You tilt your head up to meet his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” The smiles he gives you is so soft and warm it melts your heart.

Your cheeks heat up as you grin ear to ear and look away.

He moved one of his hands to hold your face, moving you to look back at him. He ran his thumb over your chin, then your bottom lip. You stayed still and watched him, eyes fluttering.

“Can I kiss you?” He murmurs in a whisper.

You can only nod as he brings his lips to yours. He kisses you soft and sweet, holding you so gently as if he might break you if he isn’t careful.

He breaks the kiss first and rests his forehead against yours. You let your eyes slowly open as you both catch your breath, you let out a soft laugh.

“Was that okay?” He checks.

“More than.” You press another soft kiss to his lips and he smiles against it.

Another shiver runs through your body as the wind picks up. Magnus pulls you impossibly closer.

“Do you want to head to bed?” He offers.

“Yes, please.”

----------

Your relationship was steady from there. Dating led to saying you love each other, saying you love each other lead to Magnus proposing. The two of you were happy, and now that it seemed your journey was coming to an end. You were excited to see what the future had in store for you and your husband.

Currently though you had a bit of a headache, so you were laying down in your shared bed. Magnus had gone off to talk to Lucretia about something. You let your thoughts wander and you thought about Magnus, his burnsides, his beard, until his image became fuzzy in your mind. You sat up and looked around only to see an unfamiliar room. You weren't sure where you were. As you pulled your flannel around you, you got up to call his name, a name you couldn’t remember. Suddenly everything turned to black and you fell to the ground unconscious.

----------

Your head was still spinning as Taako began to threaten Lucretia. The images of people in the room were blurred through your teary eyes, but you made eye contact with Magnus before he frowned deeply and began threatening their old friend as well. You watched on through tears as you clutched the shirt tied around your waist.

There would be time for answers and reunions later, now was time to fight.

----------

You were helping tend to people’s wounds after the fighting had finished. You knew Magnus would come find you if he was still alive, you didn’t dare think he wouldn’t be. Currently you were on the moon base stitching up someone's arm when you heard someone call you name. You look over to see Magnus running towards you. The items in your hand clater to the ground as you sprint to him as fast as your legs will carry you.

He catches you in his arms as he falls backwards onto the ground. You two stare at each other with teary eyes before he brings his hand to you face and begins tilting your head looking for injuries.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt at all?” He checks despite being clearly more beat up than you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m fine.” You choke out a laugh. “You were right though, Magnus.”

“Oh?” He tilts his head.

“It is your shirt.”

You share another kiss through tears, ready to see what the future has in store for you two this time for real.

[glow-worm]

The Dog Days Are Over

Welcome to Puppy Town! (Read on AO3 as well!)

--

The crew disembarked from the Starblaster, wary. The last two cycles had been extremely difficult.

It seemed like a normal planet—forests and mountains, lakes and little towns they could see from the ship.

They walked for a few miles to the nearest settlement, hoping the folks who lived there would be amicable.

In the distance, they could hear something that sounded like dogs barking.

Magnus crossed his fingers to wish very hard.

“Planet of dogs, planet of dogs, planet of dogs,” Magnus chanted quietly.

“Never stop dreaming,” Taako quipped.

Magnus always wished for a planet of dogs. It never seemed to happen, but the crew encouraged him—after all, it wasn’t statistically impossible.

Lucretia stopped in her tracks and drew her wand.

“Something’s coming,” she warned.

Magnus wrapped his hand around the handle of his axe.

A rustling came from nearby bushes, along with a mysterious whimpering and panting which grew louder and louder.

The team tensed, their weapons readied.

Three puppies tumbled out of the bush, playfully nipping at each other.

Magnus let go of his axe.

“Yes,” he whispered.

The puppies—which ran on four legs but wore clothes, two in overalls and one in a dress—saw the crew and charged forward, barking.

“Yes!” Magnus exclaimed.

The dogs leapt up, and Magnus allowed them to knock him over.

“YES!” Magnus yelled as puppies licked his face and trampled him.

“Well, shit,” Taako said, lowering his wand.

“Need help, buddy?” Barry asked.

“If this is how I go,” Magnus began with tears in his eyes. “This is how I go.”

One of the overall-clad puppies sat on Magnus’s chest wagging its tail happily until it did something no one expected.

It opened its mouth and spoke.

“Hewwo!” The puppy howled.

Taako raised his wand again, gritting his teeth.

“Absolutely not,” he said with derision.

Lup put her hand on her brother’s wand and lowered it down.

“Holy shit, they can talk!” Davenport said.

The dress-wearing dog yapped and sprinted over to the captain, jumping up at him until he conceded to pick it up so it could lick his face.

The third dog ran around in circles, jumping up and smelling each of the IPRE crew while shooting off questions.

“What are you! Where did you come from! You smell weird! Where are your tails! Why is your fur only on the top of your head!”

“Uh—” Barry began as the dog began to bite and tug at the cuffs of his jeans. "You’ve never seen anything that looks like us before, huh?”

“Noooooo!” The little dog howled. “But we’ve never left Puppy Town before...maybe Mom and Dad have?”

Lucretia couldn’t help but smile, scratching underneath the chin of the rambunctious pup.

“Did you say Puppy Town?” Magnus squealed.

“That’s our village!” The puppy on his chest answered happily. “Are you new to town?”

“If they’re not from Puppy Town they must be from Rover Ridge!” One exclaimed.

“No, no, I bet they’re from Barkborough!”

“I can’t,” Taako breathed.

“Barkborough?!” A puppy exclaimed. “What’s it like in the big city? What brings you to Puppytown?”

“Uh—” The captain began, but he was cut off by a deep howl sounding off in the distance.

“Dad’s calling us,” said the dog on Magnus’s chest before leaping off of him. “Let’s go.”

“I dunno,” the dress-wearing dog started. “Maybe we should have him come here instead. So he can smell these guys.”

“Good idea, Bits,” an overall-clad dog answered. It then sat back and threw its head into the sky with a squeaky “Awooooo!”

The two other puppies joined in the howling.

Magnus sat back up, grinning from ear to ear.

“Wipe that smile off your face,” Taako said. “They’re calling for backup.”

“They’re dogs,” Magnus asserted with exasperation.

“That’s exactly what they want you to think,” he retorted.

Magnus gently pulled up the floppy ears of the puppy closest to him and looked up at Taako expectantly.

“What else would you call this?!” he asked.

“A trap,” Taako said.

“An adorable trap,” Lup added with a shrug.

The deep howl grew closer and closer as the crew bantered. Davenport subtly raised his wand towards the sound, just to be safe.

The puppies ceased their call, then all three began to bound towards a large oak tree.

From behind the tree stepped a full-grown adult dog, walking on two legs and wearing a tweed suit and cap. He was a tricolor hound, and as he appeared he stopped howling. The puppies jumped up at him, sniffing and licking him. He gave each one a good sniff before suddenly locking directly on to the crew. He pointed at them, and stared without blinking.

“Dad!” A puppy exclaimed. “Meet our new friends!”

“Friends?” Dad dog repeated, still staring the crew down.

“Yes, we sniffed them and they gave us scratches and rubs,” Another puppy said. “And now we’re best friends.”

Dad dog relaxed. “Oh,” he said. “I see. Hello!”

Davenport lowered his wand somewhat awkwardly. “Uh, hi,” he said. The dog, on his hind legs, was a solid foot taller than the gnomish captain.

Magnus jumped back up to his feet and exclaimed, “Hail and well met, Dad Dog!”

“Oh, please,” he replied. “Dad Dog was my father. My name is Barkley.”

“We’re gonna die,” Taako whispered. His sister shushed him.

Barkley approached Magnus, his tail wagging behind him. “And these are my pups: Peanutbutter, Kibbles, and Bits.”

The kids yapped happily before continuing to romp and play with each other.

Barkley sniffed around Magnus, who knelt down so Barkley could get a solid lick across his face.

Magnus began to ugly cry.

“Hey Mags, want me to kill you so you can die happy?” Taako offered. “I’ll do it.”

“I don’t know what you folks are,” Barkley said thoughtfully. “But I think I love you already? Come on back to the village, you must be hungry. Come on. Come on!”

Barkley beckoned as he began walking, two of his pups playfully following behind him. Peanutbutter tugged at the cuffs of Magnus’s pants, so Magnus followed too.

The rest of the crew hung back, exchanging wary glances.

“Fifty GP says this is a trap,” Lup said. “Like, for real.”

“A talking dog named his kids Kibbles and Bits?” Taako mused. “Yeah, this is absolutely a trap.”

“...I do like dogs,” Barry noted.

“Natch, everyone loves dogs, dogs are great,” Lup said. “But what are the odds?”

“We’ve seen plenty of impossible things before,” Davenport pointed out.

Merle was already going after Magnus. “Y’all are a bunch of ninnies,” he remarked. “The IPRE will face off against an all-consuming living Hunger but not investigate some fantasy-Beatrix-Potter-ass dogs?”

“I didn’t say we shouldn’t investigate,” Lup clarified, following suit. “I mean worst case scenario, Barry and I lich it up. I’m just saying it's suspicious.”

Lucretia sighed and followed Magnus and Merle without further comment. Barry and Lup trailed along.

Taako lingered back before rolling his eyes. “I am not spending this cycle baking dog treats,” he said. “I want it on the record now.”

--------------

They approached the village and saw a large wooden sign, decorated with colorful paw prints that read:

“Welcome to Puppy Town!”

“We’re here!” Barkley announced. “Feel free to have a good sniff around. Our cottage is that one with the chimney smoking over there,” he pointed to a quaint house. “You’re more than welcome to come to dinner later, but if you’re hungry now the Barkery is right down the street.”

“The Barkery,” Taako repeated, monotone.

“Yes!” Barkley said. “You know, where you get treats and kibble and bread?”

“If I die here,” Magnus cried. “Just let it happen.”

The town was peaceful, and the crew was investigated by just about every dog they passed. There were many questions, and even more sniffing and petting.

Over the next few months, they learned a lot about the dogfolk. They had magic and classes. Instead of races, they had “breeds” and certain breeds had certain traits. There were beagle wizards, shiba barbarians, pit bull clerics. It fascinated the crew. It was a very research-heavy cycle.

Young puppies walked on all fours, and began to transition to being bipedal in their teenaged years. Adult dogs mostly walked on their hind legs, but would run with all four if the need arose.

There were no gerblins or imps here, but there were pesky squirrels. Barkley was absolutely vexed by these pestersome creatures, but to the crew…they were just literal squirrels that stole the occasional cherry pie from a windowsill.

Lup and Taako were disappointed to learn that there wasn’t too much to say in the way of cooking and baking here. Luckily the food wasn’t gross or too weird, but there were no new recipes to be learned. The dogfolk’s diets were fairly similar to humans, save for the biscuits, mostly eating bread and meat and fruit—though they were very adamant that no grapes were allowed in Puppy Town.

It was mostly a relaxing cycle, a welcomed reprieve after multiple trying years. They went on walks, studied a few cantrips that were unique to this world, gave belly rubs, and played.

Fisher stayed inside of the Starblaster, however, as Lucretia was worried the dogs would try to eat him.

The IPRE were hailed as heroes after they managed to teach a few of the more competent wizard dogs the Silence spell—something that was previously undiscovered on this plane. It proved very useful during a thunderstorm a few months in.

About halfway through the year, while on a brief break from searching for the Light, it was brought straight to them.

Magnus was in the town square, whittling away at a stick while a few younger dogs watched with watery mouths.

An adult dog charged forward on all fours, his clothes dirty and slightly tattered. In his mouth he carried a familiar glow.

He brought it forward to Magnus, tail wagging furiously.

Magnus reached out and the dog placed the Light of Creation in his hand. It was covered in slobber.

“Holy shit, you found the Light!” Magnus exclaimed.

The dog looked up at him expectantly, sitting back on his hind legs.

“Thank you so much,” Magnus said. “Uh...who’s a good boy?”

His tail thumped hard against the ground.

“I am!” The dog said. He paused thoughtfully and his tail slowly stopped wagging. “Please throw?”

“I’m dead,” Taako said. He began walking back to the ship.

“Oh!” Magnus smiled awkwardly. “Well, we...we kinda need this one, buddy, but—here—”

Magnus picked up a stick.

The dog jumped up, ready to run.

With a hearty throw Magnus yelled, “Go fetch!”

----------------------------

After they’d secured the Light, Barry and Lup had a few new lab partners.

A yellow lab, a brown lab, and a black lab.

It was only fair to let the dogfolk study the Light too. After all, they would survive the Hunger. Perhaps with the Light they could make their own scientific advances, and learn and grow as a species.

The crew did explain the Hunger/Light/IPRE situation to the dogfolk in hopes of making things easier on them, but only the smartest among them really understood. Still, Magnus gave some combat training to as many dogs as he could, aiming to protect them. The plan was to get out as soon as the Hunger showed up, hoping that the Hunger would do minimal damage before following them away from the plane. But just in case any of the dogfolk needed to defend themselves, Magnus helped them build their strength. One particularly feisty Pomeranian barbarian attended every session.

-------------------------

One night late in the cycle, Lucretia was interviewing an elderly Irish Wolfhound. It was dark out, but he wanted to go for a walk. They strolled by the lake and Lucretia asked various history questions, wanting a firsthand account, when suddenly he stopped. The reflection of something on the lake had caught his eye. He followed the reflection and looked up into the sky, at the full moon.

He began to howl.

Lucretia smiled and documented the incident with amusement before she started to hear howling call from all over the village, from dogs small and large.

“Why do you howl at the moon?” She asked sweetly once the old dog had ceased.

He suddenly looked very serious.

“We dogfolk are of the sun,” he said. “The catfolk are of the moon. Now—most folks say there’s no such thing as cats. And maybe not, here. But you said yourself: there were dogs back on your home planet. So who’s to say there aren’t cats?”

Lucretia held back the urge to inform him.

“Cats may lay in the sun. And dogs may howl at the moon. We may dream of and admire the moon, but we may never touch it. We howl to remind ourselves of this. Every full moon, we sing its praises. But we can never, never touch the moon.”

“…But your scientists are studying space travel. Laika just got her dogtorate in astrophysics, she wants to be a cosmonaut. What would happen if they explored the moon?” Lucretia questioned.

“The apocalypse.”

“Huh?” she blinked.

The wolfhound nodded, sorrowful.

“Lucretia,” he addressed. “You are an inter-planar traveler. But this is a universal constant. No matter how much we howl, no matter how far into space we go. Whatever you do, wherever you go: dogs must never touch the moon. Promise me you’ll do your part to uphold this.”

“Right,” she promised, grim. “No dogs on the moon.”

-----------------------

The end of the cycle approached, and the IPRE was greeted with a sea of puppy-dog eyes as they boarded the Starblaster for the last time. The crew had explained what was going to happen multiple times—there was nothing more they could say.

Magnus had wanted to stay back and help the dogs fight, but both the rest of the crew and some of the leaders of the dogfolk said it would be harder for the dogs to understand what was going on if Magnus stayed behind and then suddenly disappeared when the Light took him.

So when the grass turned the telltale shades of gray and the sky grew darker and darker, the crew said their goodbyes and prayed that Puppy Town would be spared.

As soon as the bond engine allowed, the Starblaster took off. And, as they’d hoped, the Hunger hadn’t even hit the ground yet—and they followed the ship without so much as touching Puppy Town.

For once, the crew was absolutely certain: they had saved an entire plane, and not even one creature in it was harmed.

[elodieunderglass]

For the dashboard osmosis thing...avatar the last airbender?

(This is an ask meme where I try to describe a franchise I’ve never seen based on “dashboard osmosis,” i.e. what I’ve learned of it from fandom.)

Avatar: the last Airbender is an American cartoon series with Japanese-anime-influenced design. It is set in a medieval fantasy world. I have not seen any of the cartoon, but I have seen the ten-minute long “Best of” Rifftrax spoof of the M. Night Shyamalan movie on YouTube. Rifftrax is where the guys who did Mystery Science Theater 3000 create an audio track making fun of a movie, and you play it while watching the movie. I used to really like MST3K as a little kid, but Rifftrax doesn’t age well.

Actually, based on this I think I can talk about Avatar REALLY well. I bet this is going to be such a good Avatar post. Everyone will be really impressed by my knowledge of Avatar. They’ll probably think I’m very good at meta.

There are four nations, that live in harmony until the Fire Nation attacks. See? That right there is Avatar.

The nations are water, which is populated by Inuit(?) inspired character designs; Earth, which is based on China; Air, which is possibly Tibet; and Fire, which I think draws on the aesthetic of India. People born into those nations can have the power to manipulate that element, which is called “bending.” Once in a while someone is reincarnated, like the Dalai Lama, who can bend all four, and they are called the Avatar.

Impressive, huh? Watch this! I can even do the plot and the characters. Hold my beer.

So a smart girl from the Water Nation (Lucy) and her doofy brother (Sokka) are going for your usual amble across a glacier, when they come upon a corpse frozen into the ice. This may sound like any normal Canadian walk to school but in THIS case, when they remove the corpse, it turns out to be AN ALIVE BOY who was somehow frozen alive!!!

He is a small bald boy with a blue arrow on his head. His name is Aang and he is the Avatar. The blue arrow is never explained. In fact, M Night Shyamalan interpreted it as not a bright chalk-blue arrow, but a weird collection of black squiggles in a vague arrow shape. M Night Shyamalan is a coward.

Anyway, the blue arrow may be a brilliant makeup choice to Accentuate Your Best Feature. Aang has enormous eyeballs, so maybe he wants everyone to look at them and thus distract attention from his ears. Or perhaps he feels that he has an oddly shaped chin.

Anyway, he wakes up and starts running about, going “I must go home!” And Lucy and her brother take him to possibly Tibet, or some Himalayan-based aesthetic, please forgive me, I haven’t seen the show. Unfortunately, everyone in possibly-Tibet is dead. It’s entirely possible that they have been dead for ten THOUSAND years. I actually don’t know. They’re all very much dead at this point though.

Oh my god! I bet the Fire Nation did it!

Those bastards!!

And then they have to go… do something else. The General idea is that Aang needs to be trained in bending all of the elements, so they have to go to all of the places. So Lucy organises some kind of Road trip to visit every nation, and I believe Sokka briefly dates the Moon. They meet a visually-impaired small girl in the Earth nation called Toph, and they acquire a flying caterpillar-dog called… Apnea? Like a Great Pyrenees that can float. Which is quite useful because then they can probably fly from place to place instead of walking.

Also, Aang jumps off cliffs with a kite to hold him up. All the time. You can’t stop him. I think Lucy would try, because she’s sensible. “Aang,” she would say, “let me at least tie a piece of string to you. Let me at least reel you in, if you must be a kite - reel you in like some kind of skyfish.” But no, Aang will NOT be tamed, he must ride the thermals - where are the adults in this? Like, I appreciate that he is an airbender and he has Powers to hold him up, but like, he’s also about 9 years old. He doesn’t have all his teeth yet. Lucy must be the most stressed character in the whole fictional universe. I mean if the fate of the current world depended on a 9 year old with a predilection for throwing himself off cliffs with a kite, I would tie a piece of string to him. “No offence, kid, you’re a great kite, but I was kind of hoping to have a future?”

There is also a Cabbages Man and his cabbages, which are frequently overturned.

They are pursued this whole time by a sort of Goth child with a scarred face from the Fire Nation. I feel like I would know his name if I saw it again, but I am reaching for it, and all I am finding is Kylo. I am opening every drawer in the backwater cupboards of my memory and I just find Kylo. Now, the problem here is that I feel (based on some kind of osmosis) that I actually quite like Fire Nation Kylo. I have no idea what he does or sounds like but I feel like I support him. While the brief experience of the Star war Kylo that I got, didn’t so much make my skin crawl as it made my skin bolt, like my skin attempted to launch itself off the sinning meat of my body and fling itself into another room, but it’s anchored all over, so he just made my skin ripple. Like a horse twitching flies. I made a lot of weird faces watching that movie. So I’m going to call this Kylo “Scruffy Dave.” I can’t go any farther with this if his name is Kylo, even if it is, which I’m sure it isn’t.

I don’t know why Scruffy Dave is pursuing a bunch of other children all over Asia. I believe it is to do with “honour,” but he’s like 12. I remember being 12 and horribly conscious of my dignity, sensitive to all kinds of perceived slights, but I don’t think I would pursue the offenders as far as Fantasy Outer Mongolia. Maybe, like, Fantasy Next Town over. So I suspect there’s more plot to it than that. Scruffy Dave-O has an uncle called Uncle Iroh who likes tea. Uncle Iroh is cute, but useless. As the only adult in the show, you’d think he would say things like “Little Scruff, let’s find some fucking chill here. Let’s go on a quest to restore your missing chill.” But no, the cavalcade of fuckups tumbles all over creation, instead, overturning cabbages.

I’m handwaving here. I assume more adventures are involved. Give me back my beer for a sec. I’m going to need both hands free for the handwaving finale.

So Scruffy Davoh and his inadequate babysitter catch up with Lucy’s herd of children and I believe they have some kind of battle, at the end of which, Scruffy Davenport converts to Aang’s side and has a redemption arc! I believe it is a good one.

But there’s a lot of plot after this? So I assume that the new bad guy is the Fire Nation. I think they all team up to attack the Fire Nation.

Oh wait! Aang must be the last airbender because the show is called “Avatar: the last airbender.” Maybe that’s what changed when the Fire Nation attacked. They got rid of all the airbenders. I think airbender would be a good name for a salamander. Like a hellbender crossed with a nice feathery axolotl. But how did the Fire Nation get away with that? Was it 1000 years ago? Why was it ok for them to destabilise an element-based continent like that. How did Aang get in a glacier. I don’t care to find out.

They are all underage children. I think it’s important to stress that they are all underage children, and I am vexed and pained by their unsupervised shenanigans. Why didn’t somebody sort this out earlier.

So that is the plot. Then eventually they all die of old age, and it’s time for Legend of Korra, which is the same show but everyone is an adult and gay, and it’s somehow the 1920s. Korra has basically reinvented bi culture and saved us all, as well as providing us with feudal lord/handmaiden jokes. I haven’t seen that show either, but that’s the gist of it.

Also, I think Lucy’s name might be Katara. But it only just came to me now.

Did I mention, I think Sokka dates the moon? I’m really not clear on this. And I think Toph owns a haunted squirrel. That might be important too.

Here, finish this beer for me, I can’t, I’m still breastfeeding.

I also believe, but cannot cite evidence, that there is no war in Ba Sing Se.