#i will say i have already discussed this tho
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i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”
#i was like GIRL THE SECOND TO LAST FILM I WATCHED WAS FROM *THIS YEAR*!!!!!!!!#she was SHOCKED#just for that i watched ANOTHER film from this year bc i MUST beat the allegations#i tried to explain The List to her and how i break it up by decade and have intentionally tried to diversity what i watch#and TO BE FAIR to me#the films i have shown her so far have been from the 90s 60s and 40s#which is a BIG range if i do say so myself#like. sorry we haven’t watched any current films together…#you literally LIVE in a building with a theater in it#FIGURE IT OUT#seriously tho i am so grateful to have someone who will watch films with me#i ordered Citizen Kane on Blu-ray so we can watch it together#bc she told this CRAZY story about her shitty ex#and in the back of my head i was like ‘you KNOW what this reminds me of…’#so i intentionally waited to offer to show it to her until we were past the breakup situation#but NOW i am hype#and she is hype#and to be fair that’s probably why she thinks i only watch old movies#but it’s not even old to me#like. if it has sound it’s not old…#i’m gonna have SO much fun in my intro to film history class if i get to take it#my goal is to have already seen every film they discuss in the class so that i can just chill out and enjoy it#the final project is comparing and contrasting two films of your choice and i’m still figuring out what i want to do#excited regardless tho#i’m taking it my last semester as a treat for finishing my degree <33
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Another rambling thought, sort of stemming from the last thing, but what if Misfire gets so upset about Krok believing he's contacting his old squad, and pretending or implying that they're still alive, because he's harboring some sort of repressed grief over Thundersaur?
Thundersaur's dying request being to free Flyhigh before he ends up in jail for a dozen counts of "accidental" murder implies a certain kind of closeness or something felt towards Misfire. Yet, we don't really see anything returned from Misfire's side? Outside of the "-You're just jealous because you've never had someone look out for you." comment he makes in response to Spinister's disbelief towards him being the type to end up on someone's "dying wish list".
So, there's that. What can be gleaned from just that? Not much ig, at least nothing concrete. But taking into account Misfire's relationship with Grimlock, and Grimlock's later view of Connie, perhaps something can be assumed about his relationship with Thundersaur.
Whether I'm reading into it too much or not, there is a theme of a sometimes rough but well intended trickle down kindness when it comes to the Scavengers and their story.
A favor or act of kindness is shown to one, and they return it back or onto another, sometimes unintentionally. There's emphasized acts of selflessness with them, even though we know them to be quite selfish, which, really only emphasizes those moments more. If they were written as less of a joking break between the drama of the Lost Light cast, perhaps this theme would've played a deeper more defined role. But anyways, my subjective character favoritism aside.
The point here is Misfire cared for Grimlock, and in turn, Grimlock chooses to care for Connie because it's "his turn" to look after someone. One act of empathy leads to another. There's a time to decide when it's your turn.
So it's possible it goes further back because of that. Thundersaur cared for Misfire, then it was Misfire's "turn" and he cared for Grimlock, and Grimlock cared for Connie.
So why doesn't Misfire say or mention anything about Thundersaur? Grimlock cares a lot for Misfire, wouldn't Misfire have cared a lot for Thundersaur?
Well, in a way, there's a possible answer for that. Misfire is shown to be uncomfortable when faced with admitting he cares for people, or needs people. He's uncomfortable with vulnerability. He gets defensive and snappy when pressed about it, or he deflects it away from himself, which is somewhat of a stark change to his more casual dramatics and honest friendliness. So he doesn't like talking about how he feels, how he really feels.
But he also admits to Grimlock he understands missing the people you cared about. He admits this in connection to Grimlock recalling the last time he was with his "Dino-Buddies", just before Grimlock was taken to Garrus 9. Misfire "gets it", even though it's hard, he gets it.
With all that possibly pointless evidence, we can guess that yeah, Misfire did care for Thundersaur. It's just that he, like the rest of the Scavengers, has his own repressed and poorly managed issues relating to his past and his own negative emotions.
Also, the death thing. He's real casual about dead stuff. He exsanguinates and cannibalizes corpses as a job/hobby, and enjoys it. There's an implied acceptance that he's okay with the fact that the Scavs will eat each other as soon as someone happens to keel over, which includes him also being dead and eaten. He's cool with that, ig. Or at least, he's cool with eating the others if the situation presents itself.
So he's got a weird relationship with life and death. When you're alive, you're a friend. When you're dead? Well, it's not really you anymore, is it? It's not someone you care about anymore, it's just a corpse, not a person, it's just resources in an empty vessel, not a friend. Nothing worth getting emotional or upset about. Perfect for being comfortably detached.
Because this is getting way too long tho, here's the point I'm trying to get to.
Why does Misfire lose his shit a little when Krok starts panicking and trying to call for his squad? Here's my theory, I guess.
Thundersaur is dead. He died, and he's gone, and Misfire knows this. He wasn't there. He didn't get to say goodbye. He didn't get to return the favor or repay the debt. He didn't get to show Thundersaur that he cared for others too, that he passed that on.
But while he accepts it, he doesn't want to think about it. Doesn't want to dwell on it, doesn't want to acknowledge that he misses Thundersaur. He's dead, he's gone. So it doesn't matter. Misfire can't need him anymore, and he doesn't want to admit he needs anyone anymore, because someone he relied on is dead, and he wasn't there for them to rely on in turn.
So he doesn't think about it. But Krok does. Krok thinks about it, and talks about it, and still admits to needing his dead. Even if he won't acknowledge the fact that they're dead, and gone, and never coming back, no matter how much he wants or needs them anymore.
And it feels unfair, and Krok keeps unintentionally poking at that repressed grief Misfire won't touch. A reminder with every click of that dismembered finger, that you can't always just will away the grief of loss, of death. There's going to be reminders everywhere. Even close to you. And so, faced with reminder after reminder, the repression breaks, and Misfire snaps because-
They're all dead.
Krok's squad is dead. Thundersaur is dead. Why can't they accept that and just move on to never talking about it, never mentioning it, never thinking about it again?
Because, in their own ways, neither of them have ever truly moved on.
#ignoring my need for sleep once again to ramble mindlessly about my favorite fucked up blorbos. yaaay#i will die on the hill of misfire having a lot more complex depth than what we're given at face value. dudes got issues#but that could be said for any of the scavengers. don't get me started on fulcrum. also chock-full of fascinating issues#but for the lot of them. it really is just mental illness and trauma up the wazoo. but somehow Spin and Crank are the most stable. sorta#hopefully this makes sense tho. i mean. it either already really obvious and im just now getting it. or it doesnt make sense#part of me is like. oh. its probably already been discussed so theres no point in me saying the same things-#-but at the same time my blog is also like public blorbo notes. i'd accidentally delete it if it were in my actual notes lol. gotta save it#i need a rambling tag or smth. in case folks wanna block it maybe.#i'll sleep on it ig#i'm posting this at like 4am. so if there is spelling or autocorrect problems. whoops#hopefully its fine#i'll reread it later if i get the time#god. honestly this whole theory could be tossed out by the implications that they all just hate the clicking noise#like. it just really pisses everyone off. no deep meanings. just annoyance or overstimulation or smth idfk
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OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.
#khr#khre#khr oc#oc#einart#ninomiya kurumi#khr killer whale#myr killer whale#lidija killer whale#myrmyrtheorca#ninomiya kanako#me trying to cope from the hell level temp that is a SEA country temp#by imagining it's around the transition of autumn to winter there#and they're having warm tea while discussing various topics in a kotatsu#i say while suddenly remembering how i opened the faucet earlier and the supposed cold running water is already preheated by the weather#ALSO THE 1/3 COUNTER IS FOR REAL THIS TIME I ALR HAVE 2 OTHER SKETCHES WITH OTHER FRIENDS' OCS PROCESSING IN GL4ZE RN#bc the other times i put a counter it didn't end up having a next part sdjfbsdfjhbds#also yeah those tea are csp 3d assets lmaooo if im gonna be fr here i only know how to draw beautiful wome--- i mean people#plus my body pain is flaring like crazy the past few days i keep passing out#so i can't do full colored pieces too much ueueueue#BODY PAIN WON'T STOP ME FROM DRAWING OCS THO#anyway i hope i was able to draw myr and lidija correctly; did my best to do so sdjfshjvf they're so 🥹🥹💖💖#i esp think lidija and kurumi would get along a lot#then myr would often get caught off guard by kurumi's compliments hehe#kana is just sizing them up and observing from afar; she's just very wary like that#wow im glad they do those “see more” thingie for tags so i can go free real estate in here
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Lone Ranger Gunslinger! Fernando (context)
#this would probably be more fitting for COTA but for ME it is very relevant and important#thank you DC for inciting this from me i guess 😭#the only correct way to draw any Wild West art is to:#listen to Marty Robbins' Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs#and cry when El Paso comes on 😭😭😭😭#so yeah if anything is mentioned over the course of a weekend that could be turned into an AU +#be assured that I can and will draw it >:)#if people like this maybe i wil draw some more for cota 🤭 i just wont have a lot of free time around that wknd tho ah#though i will say ive already discussed this possible AU with C a lot already 😭😭😭😭#you already know what ship it would be......hehehe....#anyways if youre ever curious where i get my ref photos. its called i play dress up in my room LMFAO#the outfit ref for this was a banger ngl. maybe ill wear it to school sometime 🤭🤭#its almost kinda a shame hes wearing the coat in this bcs god damn the waist was absolutely snatched!#i love 3 piece suits sob sob sob#okay anyways hopefully fernando will continue to be a sharpshooter this weekend!!!!!#he should shoot for....a podium 🤭🤭🤭 he should shoot for....a win! 😮#oh also i love how both c and i looked at clint eastwood pics as ref for this 😭😭 same brain 😭#if i ever draw more of this au i def gotta draw him with that look!#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14
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Will you comment on the Peru situation? Twitter is saying a lot of craziness and I just want to hear what's true
As always, I would advise against using Twitter as an informational resource and suggest relying instead on official channels for insight and updates.
At this point, the available facts are that tonight's show was cancelled by the local government because the promoters failed to obtain the permits necessary to hold the show. According to fans that spoke with authorities, this was a known issue weeks ago but the band and their team were not made aware until they were turned away when they arrived at the venue. The decision to cancel the show was completely out of their hands.
There's not much else to report at this point, it's just an unfortunate situation that was poorly handled by the promoters/venue and I feel bad for both the band and the fans that were looking forward to the show. 💙
#if and when the band comments I will of course post but it's hard to know when that will be or what they can say tbh#supposedly they're already on their way out of the country which makes sense to me tbh#it appeared as tho most fans went from the venue to their hotel so them leaving is the safest thing for everyone at this point#sad to end such an exciting run of shows like this and obviously v sad for the fans who have waited years to see them#also#once again the gentlest of reminders that i am but a lowly fan running a lowly fan blog#not even an update account! I just like to fawn over these dudes in real time so that's why i post stuff so fast 😂😂#anyways typically I'm going to know as much about breaking news as you guys do#sometimes you might know more! i was literally napping when this all went down today 😂😭#I'm of course always happy to discuss/help sift thru the noise for clarity but just wanted to bring that up again 😉#altho being asked for comment made me feel very official and important 😌#5sos hire Crystal officially 2024#ask#anon#the 5sos show#the 5sos show tour lima
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btw just in case i seem callous abt the whole dating situation i was just being rather swoony over (god forbid i try to romanticize this bleak ass life) i want to bring up that this person made me carry a heavy fuckin camera case which. did not care to do that. and then sat while i tried to figure out how the fuck to put the rig and everything together and like. once again did not care to be fucking around with it that was honestly just soo irritating. like they were trying to just have one little moment of feeling better abt themselves lmao maybe im being evil idk and then also they brought up their ex for the zillionth time bc apparently all of their hobbies are tied up w her. shocker. anyway i think they think they can fix me
#and also now that several of the dykes have discussed i do think it's weird that they so avoid saying lesbian#esp for themself. which is like fine u dont have to id as anything. but like u know the vibe when someone just... yeah idk.#abby talks#and also i was so clear about not wanting anything serious being too busy rn not wanting to string them along when thats not smth im#focused on. and i think theyre just going to hold out hope ill change my mind even tho i already like said what i felt#which is ALSO pissing me off cause then on the other hand i felt sooooooo bad last night. and for what#communicating my feelings? sorry it was a bit abrupt but bitch you are not in love with me u dont know me. UGH!#WHERE is dyke grindr maybe i just need to take a chance out there..
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lit cannot stress how much fuckability masato lost after becoming aoki like emo death is real and its so so tragic
#snap chats#sorry but this has been my truth for months its time i speak on it#its true tho i dont think this is a shocking revelation to anyone#s'just like saying grass grows and birds fly#i will not support his prep phase its not happening hes such a dweeb now#rgg knew this fact with him showing off his tit despite that being like. The Worst Place Ever to inject yourself#we already discussed how he wasnt physically able to fuck and that was a nerf it was to humble him and keep him controlled and thats awful#frame one got me lookin at the screen like 👁👁 and then he open his mouth and my eyes get bigger and i sit in dead silence#was crackin jokes and chattin with myself every other second and then 🧍♂️ Go On Beautiful Keep Talking Idc What You Sayin#im a man until he starts talking about 'his girl' and then suddenly im feeling some kinda way#tho that might just be cringe cause why does bro talk like how i used to in high school 😭😭😭😭#thats the funniest part about masato/aoki to me like. there's so much bullshit bout them that reminds me of high school#but thats the thing that was High School like im grown an shit this bro never grew up apparently AND HE STARTS THE GAME AT 23#wait back to the subject line of this post i be acting like aoki dont got me unwise a total of like. four time either#sorry everyone there was something in the water today and now im ill#its cause i cant draw this weekend so i have to be disgusting some other way#gonna make it everyone else's problem but worse#anyway i have to end this post because the more i t hink about the high school comparison the more i start to cringe
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when i finish the Sylki Adultery AU thing THEN i shall allow myself actually make a start on the Loki-rules-Jotunheim AU, where my goal is to top 10k words in a fic that doesn't have even a single baby in it.
#he's gonna fuck a frost giant tho obviously#AND NOT THOR. THIS ISN'T A THORKI FIC THEY'RE JUST TWO BROTHERS WHO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER BROTHERINGLY.#(have had to remind myself of this fact once already D:)#this one too is based on reading Too Many Historical Novels because the basic plot is 'SUCCESSION CRISIS TIEM NAO'#it'd be real wars of the roses shit but not because in my plan loki only has three (3) allies on Jotunheim and one of those is thor :(#(see this is why he has to fuck a frost giant. to get himself some friends.)#even i could get 10k words out of a 'well this is obviously gonna end in civil war' scenario right? right??#thanks to recent Tumblr Discourse there will absolutely be some discussion of Lauffey being too incompetent to murder a literal baby :)#(i said i wasn't making a start on it i didn't say i don't have Extensive Notes for it. i can't just not write the thoughts down.)#(i'd forget some crucial plot point and then get mad at myself)#(like the fun prologue that explains What The Fuck Was Odin Thinking. and then none of the other characters know. idk if that'll work?)#but first i have to get that adultery thing finished! ONE EPIC TALE OF SUCCESSION IN A MONARCHY AT A TIME!#PLANS!!!!!!#don't believe the hype#fic related
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reading your and jaspers posts about bryce with silent admiration because im too scared to contribute but i really love bryce so much hes my girlfriend and my husband and i like hearing u guys talk about him because youre Right. especially as someone who struggled from grief and trauma and being abused i think bryce's case interests me more than any of the other characters (even though liam is my favorite, and it says a lot because i find all of them interesting) because there is so much to him. i doubt he has processed a single thing about what happened. i think stellas death was recent too honestly, within the last few years at least, and he copes by... not coping. burying himself in work and drinking in the hopes to forget about it. not even to mention the fact that in episode 7 it showed him driving home drunk personally i feel he was past the point of caring to the point of engaging in risky/dangerous behaviors (this speaks for itself, i dont think i need to say why). i think that the plane impacted him so much that within those 7 months after leaving he got his shit together. i cant speak for if hes totally sober or not but at the very least he doesn't drink as much as he used to and i doubt he's putting himself in danger anymore. to be honest i think bryce is one of the characters who has changed the most because of the plane, which makes him being rejoined all the more interesting to me. im probably just making shit up but i like to read into it a little more than "bryce and liam were getting along but now theyre separated and liam has to fix it oh no". sorry this ask is kind of word vomit im not in the headspace to tidy it up but i hope you get what i mean
i think if one had continued for longer than it did it would have been interesting to explore bryce finally accepting and coming to terms with his past (him not seeing his childhood home in the wr anymore kind of representing this). i love bryce and he deserves to heal
TY!!!!!!! im glad my thoughts warrant admiration to you :D!!!!!!!!!!! (i will say tho that every time uve ever posted YOURE thoughts i am like ohhhhh.... ur SO RIGHT. i think u have some of the BEST interpretations of the one characters ive seen!!!!!)
(talked SOOO so much .so there is a readmore :) )
brcye really IS such an interesting character???? ik ive said it before but i AM biased towards protagonists so i usually focus on liam but like ...... bryce really IS probably one of the more. indepth ? characters in one in terms of like. background and how he Acts. i think ALL of teh characters are written really incredibly but i think, given how much of his bg is clarified (esp in contrast with how little is shown of the other characters lives pre-one) his motives, personality, emotions all end up being SUPER super elaborate and i REALLY love how he was written ??
(that said i think the reason he IS elaborated on sm is bc like. one doesnt elaborate on character backgrounds like MOST of the time. even charlotte is mostly left up to interpretation, bc one is more about the HOW people respond rather than WHAT made them respond that way. but charlotte and bryce are both outliers, and bryce ESPECIALLY so. because both obviously have Things they havent worked through properly, but bryce is directly just. Living in it. its the fact that he WONT acknowledge the actual Things that hapepned enough to heal that warrants the elaboration. while the other characters stop acknowledging ANYTHING about their lives , save for charlotte, who gradually works out her issues themselves, because THATS whats effecting her, bryce is CONSTANTLY just. he Needs to go back, but his problems ARE about what happened, and the fact that his life outside of the plane was what MATTERED to him, but that even then, he just Wouldnt acknowledge that life when he Needed to. idk if that makes sense but ohhh i think about the decision to elaborate on some characters and to not on others bc it feels Important)
hes so. he mirrors all of the contestants in some ways, but he mirrors amelia a LOT in that both of them respond to trauma by Setting It Aside. like That Trauma Cant Affect Me If I Dont Look At It. like. ur right bryce has NOT processed ANY of his trauma. which like it makes SENSE bc. it prob feels so much easier to him to not think about it by drinking instead, because its a Lot to think about. its a Lot to come to terms with. but bc he WONT acknowledge it but its still AFFECTING him he just gets More and More miserable (the detail about him driving home drunk and not even caring is so. :( )
what IS one of the most. compelling? aspects of his character to me is the way he responded to Everything after getting eliminated. bc it just feels So Real. because he IS healing, not completely, and not in the best way, but he clearly like. started putting SO much work into improving his life??? (the detail of him finally getting an end table for his bed instead of just... using a cardboard box ALWAYS gets to me. and that + the fact that the photo of stella is put up makes it seem like. THATS what was in that box. he LITERALLY started Unpacking thigns. its like poetry to me.) because it IS hard, and i think hes still putting things to the side, shoving the trauma from the plane to the side now instead of all his other grief and trauma. and the removal of the cans from his room yknow?? that hes getting up for work on time now?? its like. yeah i agree idk if hes necessarily SOBER yet but he really does seem like hes working really hard
its not perfect, but its BETTER and it feels. correct?? (and tbh? trying to brush off the plane as a dream isnt even teh worst thing he couldve done with that, i think, bc reasonably what WAS he supposed to do w that experience?? i dont think there WAS a good answer) bc the plane was a whole new kind of trauma. and i think surface level, one would THINK hed get WORSE after further trauma but like. i think he DID in some ways but in the ways that actually affected how he acknowledged and responded to his pre-existing trauma DID get better bc, as he puts it, hed Thrown his life away before, and didnt want to do it again. bc this time, he very well couldve died. and while he was on the plane, being home, on earth was SO much better than the plane, and it recontextualized Everything. hell, maybe after that, the earth finally felt Less daunting, like somewhere he Wanted to be, because for once, he WANTED to be back, and rationalizing That and the fact that he got Lucky, that something Worse couldve just full on Killed Him Forever really DID mean he didnt WANT the worse to come, at least not as much as before. but that meant he HAD to start actually Working on improving things, and i think he may not have Intended to acknowledge Worse things, but simply because the things he had to do to improve his life, like drinking less, making his house more Livable, they all Forced him to think about things More. hes still certainly not thinking about them as much as he Should, hes still not Processing things, but hes Heading in the right direction . he really was SO changed by ONE
and then liam showing up forces him, once again, to think about something he tried to push to the side. aaaaaaaandd then he rejoins and its so. it feels thematically fitting and IS so so SO interessting. because for once in his life hes REALLY facing his trauma head on. but then is brought straight back into it. and i need to think about that aspect more bc those thoughts are a bit less Focused than my other thoughts but given how complex his writing is after he gets OUT, its. SO interesting to think about how being BACK affects him
esp bc like. him starting ep 18 Pissed Off- which historically his responses to trauma are to either just Be Shocked, as depicted a LOT in ep 14, or to get Very Vocally pissed, as shown through the first half of s1, esp ep 6, and ep 11, and ep 13, and ep 18. ive seen it written as 'he doesnt have anywhere to direct the sheer amnt of STRESS and fear so he just. ends up yelling at people bc what else CAN he do' and i think thats?? probably fairly accurate. i dont think hes as Constantly Irritable and Irrationally Angry as fanon presents him , bc it tends to be. excessive. but he DOES get reasonably angry in response to stress !!! i always think abt how his body language in the 'credits' scene of ep 6 look like hes yelling at airy. and im. lays on the ground. i dont even know if thats ever as much 'just anger' as it is Fear and it FUCKS ME UP
but the way i see it, that ties to ep 18 a LOT. because he was really Getting better. hell, what he thought was the WORST that could happen HAPPENED (dying) but he. came out OKAY? its like he was being forced to think about and work through his trauma and he survived and was ok. but being sent back is like. 'oh god i did that all for nothing.' but i think it also sort of?? serves as the Last Push for him to really, REALLY acknowledge the plane (which is why it makes sense so thematically for him to be the rejoiner. he WAS the only contestant whod Chosen to ignore it all. but that has nothing to do with the plane, he cant choose if the plane ignores Him.) past talking about its affects, how its affected people. because after everything hed worked toward, hes Back. hes back, and everyone else is STILL HERE. liam had said they were all still There but seeing them there is a whole other thing. hed SEEN the effects of making it out after 7 months. but he never saw what it was like to still BE there after all that time. and bryce CARES about them (fanon sometimes treats him as if he is a bit. coldhearted? but i think people misattribute him being unhappy with liam as him not caring. i think the problem is that he maybe cares too much, and was affected a LOT, but didnt and doesnt know how to handle that. so he WANTS to ignore it, because it was all he could do, and haaving to backtrack on his haphazard healing from the plane is. highly daunting and uncommfortable and terrifying. thats not being cold though, thats VERY different) and now he HAS to acknowledge Everything, has to be a part of it Again. and i think its a combination of 'liam was here for 7 months after we all thought itd only be a few weeks. Anything could happen. who knows how long ill be here for?' and 'liam didnt have anything when he came back. will I have anything when i come back?? will i have worked so, so hard to heal and fix my life for Nothing?' and 'i dont WANT to be here again.' and 'oh my god all of them Really Really Are Here. Theyve been here the whole time.' and i think all that culminates in an appropriate amount of horror, and that prompts him to do what hes STARTED doing, which was All He Can. and hes pissed off cus hes terrified, so he spurs everyone into pulling out the plug. and then. it doesnt work. it doesnt work and thats the LAST of what he had, and i think iirc hes the LAST one to close his eyes afterwards. because hed BEEN off the plane, hes the one of them who had any hope to give them anymore. and it didnt work
(i also think a lot about how it mustve felt seeing the contestants all so. resigned. because bryce was like that before all this, but ever since one began he was stubborn, and didnt WANT to give up. and i think finding out that these people youd seen try so, so hard just to Handle Any Of This be SO resigned would be. so fucked up. he knew amelia when she was so determined to leave, and while charlotte seems a bit saddened by her resignation, bryce was there BEFORE that happened. he wasnt there like liam or charlotte was to see it gradually develop, and to develop that despair alongside them. all hes seen is that amelia was so determined. and that he may not have known her THAT well before, he knows shes different. he knows she Gave Up and like. GOD. and also i think abt how he mustve Felt seeing the plug for the first time because ehs the only one of them who hadnt seen it before (given its likely all the other characters had, since they casually refer to it). and given the short time frame between him getting there, and the contestants trying to pull the plug? it almost seems that that was like. the last straw. and ive never posted it but i once drew stuff abt it bc. the damage to it is noticable. and i think hes already aware liam was fucked up, but this is like. a tangible, permanent record of that on the plane. and he cares about liam, and has been grappling with all the things liams told him, but thats. thats something he can See. And i think it all of it culminates in him deciding that what hes been avoiding is doing Soemthing about all this, because before he couldnt, and then it was. an awful idea to, and then he didnt have many choices BUT to help. but now theres hardly anything to do, but he has to try. he doesnt want to give up. and it makes me soooooooooooooooooo. head in hands.)
anyway that was a LONG tangent the point is. YEAH. i think rejoining would be. very very significant for his character i dont think youre making shit up its DEFINENTLY a topic w a lot of things to discuss about it
but god. yeah it wouldve been SO nice to see him come to terms with everything hed been through before one. i think the show purposefully included what it did and ended when it did because it makes more sense thematically for it to go unresolved, because the point was that NOTHING was able to be resolved nicely because unfortunately, many things are Out Of Their Control. things COULDVE resolved almost perfect but enough things went wrong at just the right (or more fitting, wrong) time for all of that to not work. i think him no longer seeing the suburbs may have signalled more that maybe, just maybe, he could Do something to help the other contestants even if HE was Dead, that now he finally HAS a goal, if that makes sense (though i think even in the timeline of the series it still wouldve taken way longer for him to process everything Fully, they WERE only in the waiting room for probably about a day) but the idea of finally seeing the waiting room as it is bc hed finally worked through everything .... man.............. man
ik ive already said it though but i DO think it is sooooo so possible for him to heal post canon. im a firm believer that no matter what, at LEAST bryce and ameliaa get home (liam and charlotte have more room for error but i DO generally interpret the ending as them both getting home too, theres just less room for things to go wrong w amelia and bryce). and i think after everything? hed be able to heal. it would SUCK but i think hes, shockingly, in a better place Logistically for things to improve, because he has a support system, he has what hed already worked on in those 7 months, he has so much to aim for. it would be rough and take long but i think ultimately? hed be able to heal :) and its what he deserves
#ask#got SO rambly in this answer . this ask made me think SO MUCH#man tho. the theme of people responding to Trauma in one is legitimately so.#it feels so significant and i think it was done SO well#like. fun fact but ep 6 was what REALLY sold me on the show when i first watched it#which SOUNDS morbid but it was the post credits scene that Got me#because it jsut. sounded so much like how trauma is discussed irl. when liam like#says 'i was riding home on my bike when it happened' i remember i was so. Ohhh My God#bc i was. oh this show is just. having characters naturally respond to and discuss trauma#like it wasnt just an element of the series anymore it clicked that the show was developing a literary THEME and it made me sooooo emotiona#like it esp hit hard bc . discussing trauma is a LOT and seeing them Talk Abt It like that hit me so hard.#and to this day that scene is just so. emotionally impactful#AND sidenote its so. at that pt in the series nothing has been Revealed abt bryces life before one#but the fact that hed Been Through Shit Before makes the scene feel so important.#because bryce has been through a LOT of trauma already. and bc of that? of course hes the one talking to liam. because he *gets it.*#of course he talks about it so naturally. he may not have really worked through anything but he KNOWS this#and whether or not liams been through stuff before doesnt matter here. because this isnt something he knows how to live through#but bryce has experience with living through things. hes the only one able and willing to talk eith liam through it because he Gets it#and it makes me so. AUUUGHGG#alcohol#ask to tag#(also as silly as it is liam abruptly cutting the convo off to talk abt the grass is like. yeah. yeah#emotional convos with friends abt trauma can very often end abruptly for completely unrelated reasons#at least in my exp#which is prob bc eventually theres nothing TO say bc the topic sorta. speaks for itself?? and that feels like what happened in their convo#though i think liam prob ALSO mentions it bc. id imagine its unnerving to notice . like this place would just FEEL so abnormal#and it was prob on his mind bc the two of them were already talking abt fucked up things about the plane#and its a small detail but. a detail about the plane nonetheless)
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Hi! "“and one more time”" for the WIP game?
ok im gonna cheat a little here cause "and one more time" is a sequel/part of a duo. hindsight being 20/20 I should've had it + "never again" together but I Did Not Think Of That
"never again" + "and one more time" are both gonna be really short oneshots that deal with the parallel scenes in MASH that make me the most insane- that being Trapper knocking Hawkeye down in Mail Call, and BJ punching Hawkeye in Period of Adjustment
I don't really have much written down for these besides the beginnings, so I'll put those down here...
"never again"
""Did I hit you?" Trapper asks out of nowhere.
Hawkeye looks up from putting his boot on. "Huh?"
Trapper is sitting on the edge of his cot, frowning with a look like he's studying him. "Yesterday, when I was... you know," He gestures vaguely, "Did I hit you?"
Hawkeye considers him for a moment. He was hoping Trapper wouldn't remember that little scene. He thinks about denying it on the off chance he might be able to convince him that it didn't happen, but he knows he waits too long to reply, because Trapper looks about the guiltiest he's ever seen him look.
He looks back to lacing up his boot. "You barely shoved me." He tells him quickly."
"and one more time"
""How's the eye?" BJ asks out of nowhere.
Hawkeye was wondering when that would come up. He's amazed BJ managed to go the entire OR session without mentioning it. He looks up from where he's sitting on the bench, finding BJ hovering close to him as he tosses away his mask.
"It's fine." He replies. It only hurts when he smiles a certain way, but he doesn't tell him that.
Doffing his cap and tossing it aside, BJ hunkers down to be more level with him. "Mind if I take a look?" He asks.
"Go ahead," Hawkeye invites, "It's really not that bad. Charles already looked me over." He reminds him.
BJ's frown tells him he's unconvinced. Hawkeye supposes he'd feel the same were he in his boots."
basically both of these have Hawkeye dealing with the aftermath of his best friends hurting him during drunken bouts of homesickness, because the parallel there is absolutely insane to me. i do wonder how deliberate it was, considering MASH is pretty famous for not really sticking with continuity, but regardless of if it was or not its still very very good
comparing both episodes is interesting to me because with Mail Call, Trapper shoving Hawkeye over and trying to desert is mostly played for laughs and quickly diffused. there's some tension in the scene but its ultimately not taken super seriously, and ends as soon as Frank comes in and gives Trapper something to laugh at. meanwhile in Period of Adjustment that is VERY much not the case, with that episode having very few laughs overall. one of those comparisons that really shows the tonal differences between the first 3 seasons vs season 4 and onward, especially getting into the later seasons of 8 and onward
I had the original inspiration for a bit of a different idea a few months ago when I first started reading fic actually, there was like... one mention in a fic I read of how Hawkeye is perceived as this easy target for everyone's anger. I wish I could remember which fic it was off the top of my head, I dont even remember what the fic itself was about, but I still think about it. cause like... yeah, Hawkeye is often the target of unfair anger, and thats not something that gets explored a whole lot within the show, so here I am 50 years later to write angsty fanfic about it
thanks for the ask!! hope you dont mind me bringing in another WIP haha but I figured it was relevant to digging into my intentions with them
#mash#fic bitching#ill say in the tags ive also been entertaining an idea in my head#of Potter and Hawkeye having a real talk about this exact thing#Hawkeye being the easy target for everyone's anger I mean#because I think it's actually very interesting when Potter is the one who lashes out at him#one of the episodes I got to recently in my rewatch was Pressure Points#and Hawkeye's reaction to Potter losing it on him in the middle of the mess tent... very interesting to me#anyways yes been entertaining an idea where they sit down in Potter's office in the aftermath of one of those instances#and there's a real discussion had about it#and Hawkeye's a lil bitter!! cause he's sick of being a punching bag!!#I havent put that down in the WIP list yet tho#I need to work through the other stuff already in there#this is a lot of tags lmao I have no self control
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#went downhill yesterday already but I’m so full of hatred towards my family…#everytime a conflict happens I’m reminded of just how many unresolved unaired issues I have with my parents and arghhh#worst thing is#grandmother had a point this time as much as it pains me to say that#and y’know#and maybe if I was in a better mood I would’ve just agreed and let things go#but she started off with a provocative tone and a verbal attack so#smh#disappointed in myself from yesterday tho bc I could’ve kept a better discussion etiquette#there are days when I see mother’s language in my own sentences and Jesus#like. I don’t want to be like her#even in the smallest details#I will have to keep an eye out on this particular matter bc while it wasn’t exactly foul play… I still don’t want to erode the standards#anyways it’s so clear on days like these that the teenager in me that didn’t get to be rebellious wants their share#it takes a while to make the buzz of hatred calm down and deal with the encounter as seriously and objectively as I can#it doesn’t happen often but sometimes I argue just to argue and tire the other party out#ngl the argument yesterday made me feel pretty much like a kid again#the worst part is that while it’s true that it was grandmother’s tone/wording that triggered the face off#she was right in saying that I was just engaging with her for the sake of making a scene so she isn’t ‘right’#d0 stuff#I hate her so much though#none of this would’ve happened if she was just a normal person instead of just constantly looking for things to poke and complain about#like I get it#this one was pretty much on me#(thankfully it was just about how to talk to people through the phone - I tend to have less initiative when talking to the vn folk)#so like. truly. nothing worth spending energy on ig#but sometimes she pisses me off so much in her holier than thou attitude that it makes me want to just keep it up until she starts coughing#do I realize the current state of things exists bc of how many unresolved conflicts I have with her? yes#does it make it any easier to manage this fucked up relationship whenever I should back off? nope#mostly tired (the phone call we got was around midnight so ://)
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There’s SEVERAL reasons why we think so! It’s something that has been brought up in conversation from time to time 😅
We think you’d be an incredibly fun and energetic person in general, which we love of course, but we ALSO have always been a huge fan of your content and the reactions you have in them. My partner and I have had sessions recently with other friends and it’s been an absolute blast. We also really admire your experience with tickling and think us giving it our best shot against you would undoubtedly be memorable 😌
Oh my goodness.. maybe I shouldn’t have asked because now I’m all shy and flustered.. ahh~ (〃^▽^〃)ゞ also I get brought up? Multiple Times?? Verbally? In-person?? SSHH-
This is so sweet and lovely! Thank you so much for sharing!! 🥰 And thank you for enjoying my content! I’m so happy to hear! Also awesome you have local kink friends to play with! That is what I’m seeking! If our paths ever cross and we get to meet, I would LOVE to connect and have a session with you both! That would be awesome to make this come true! ❤️
#welp I’m already excited even tho you’re anonymous asfkllgjk!!#i was hanging out with local community friends over the weekend. we still discuss how surreal it is to be fans of each other online and#dreaming of meeting them- and then you eventually do and you’re actually good friends now?? like how crazy and wonderfull#wonderful* gd#can I wear a blindfold so I don’t have to look at you both because I’ll be big embarrassed 🥹#WHY AM I NERVOUS ITS JUST AN ASK OMG#(you can say no I don’t wear one because I like mean :) )#oh but you see I can be stiff and awkward during the first sessions.. guess you’ll just have to play with me more and then I’ll be more#susceptible and you know what breaks me~ 🤭💕#‘remember that time we destroyed Toad~?’ b y e ♡#my posts#answered#ask#gang tickles#tickle community#tickles
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🫶
#this is so tmi but w/e i’ll delete later but like . absolutely terrified of starting with a new therapist#bc i wanted an option i felt safer with (someone not m*rmon & preferably who’s lgbt/lgbt friendly)#but there’s literally one single place that my insurance covers and it’s in my tiny m*rmon town#n the last one i went to made me so uncomfortable i had to stop going#and just like . i wanted the OPTION to feel safe and understood for all of me#but i already know i have to steer clear of religious trauma and of coming out#but the last one just straight up asked me my sexuality and put me in the position of like . coming out or lying abt it#or saying im not comfortable saying which would be the same as coming out basically and idk im so fucking sad and anxious abt this#even tho none of that is what im even going back to therapy for#but like . i just wanted to feel safe :(#and switching the insurance would be so much work and i don’t even know if i could . and if i did what if it was a waste and the person#who i wanted to see doesn’t work out and i have to start all over again and it’s just . i wanna cry sgjsgjfsj#don’t like starting with someone new and already knowing there’ll be huge parts of me & my past trauma that i can’t discuss :(
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hello good morning ! I've added a thing to the rules jsyk - it's not because of anyone dw dw, but just figured I should mention as it is entirely likely that Artemis will run across greek deities or gods in general (the thing i added below the cut for ya!)
#( ooc )#( tbd )#But yes !! this is non-negotiable and i stand firmly in the belief that no god would ever recognize him as he is now#this doesnt!! effect anything I've discussed with anyone already tho dw!#just for future reference! unless he hints at it or makes it obvious - then the gods aren't even aware (yet?) that he's LEFT the underworld#they very well might think he died over him having left actually. BUT ! thats not to say it can't happen that he'd be recognized somehow#if anyone would recognize him it might be hades or persephone but like overall also unlikely due to how entirely different he appears now#both physically and in the way that he acts! hes like an entirely different entity (and he is.. he will never be the same eros again)
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sometimes i monologue to myself for what feels like hours abt 3zun/nieyao and then i end with the very lxc statement of “well, they both have their reasons” :’)
#like i don’t have much to say abt jgy and that’s only been#bc my statement from day 1 has been that i get so frustrated when people say that jgy was ‘evil’ from the start#and did every single this with manipulative and malicious intent#so like that is something i have already talked length abt w/ blink so like that soapbox has been done and is currently still happening#nmj tho….#it’s funny bc frankly i can list more things he does that i disagree with than agree w/#and like frankly for me personally i don’t really. care abt how much i agree with a character aksksksks#if it makes sense that they did what they did then i am happy#which like isn’t even me being shitty or trying to be above it#but it’s bc. yeah the general statement of ‘i dont agree with x/y actions but i still like the character’#which like. the other option of only liking the characters that i morally agree w/ has become such a tired discussion#anyways i digress bc when i think abt nmj yeah i think def in the meng yao era he was rly unfair to jgy at a lot of times#and i think that in-general my’s wen spy era was painted to look. nefarious. and not like something that was pivotal to win the war#and yeah like he shouldn’t have tried to kill my esp bc i do believe that my was genuine in trying to save nmj from being killed there#and then this all snowballs out etc etc etc#but it’s like! agreeable or not imo it’s so understandable why nmj does this#like i use nightless city as my big nieyao example bc like. my did what he had to and by being a spy he ultimately won them the war#or at least finished it#but on a personal level nmj has a reason to not want to fuck w/ my#but even then i think abt!! how for nmj he /doesnt/ take the personal route#he takes the ‘what abt the others’ which like ig for the world itself isn’t an off-color statement#but it’s also like. i think abt what jgy said on the steps of jinlintai abt how they’ve both killed#and yet nmj has never forgive jgy even tho he’s killed far less#and it comes down to like what nmj thinks is a just reason for killing (aka no subterfuge)#i’m losing my train of thought and also running out of tags i think#anyways if i had to pick 1 era this is a wen spy meng yao era support blog#and then blink and i joke abt nmj being my favorite plot device but like#by god am i obsessed with him. i didnt even get a chance to talk abt his qi deviation#and how imo that is more tragedy than anything else#anyways. 3zun. the ouroboros trio. i am obsessed with all three of them.
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One day (when I've slept enough to both remember enough to make all of my points and be coherent) I'll explain what I meant when I joked about Sophie being worse
#about me#bc i do have Thoughts. and also i did Not mean that negatively lmfao#i love women who are worse! she is not even the worst character i've stanned#arguably that award goes to melanie cavill#but it's not Negative and it sure as hell does NOT mean that i think that nate isn't also deeply deeply flawed#or that she corrupted him somehow#enabled him sometimes? yeah. but he was already either Like That or on the path to being Like That#but like i said that meme works both ways and that's why they work#i will also elaborate on what i mean by that when i'm not so exhausted#she's his compass. she didn't intend to make him worse nor did she#she made him better. he made her better. they balance each other as much as they clash with one another#anyways all of my reasoning for why i felt like i could say she's worse for that meme#do not even have to do with nate lmfao#when i make this post tho i will be Open to civil debate for people to share their povs of why they don't think the same way#that's kinda the other reason why i'll make it though#bc i did Not spend enough time on that meme to be more than mildly irritated by some of the commentary#but i also don't want it totally derailed when i think it's def smth that could be an interesting discussion to be had#and i'll gladly host that discussion when i'm not dying of sleep deprivation#i just wanna give it its own platform y'know?#i don't want it to get lost on a silly little meme#but anyways it's also like#his influence did make her better and hers made him somewhat better too#but in his case her influence more like. balanced him. than anything else#bc he got worse and worse and it had Nothing to do with her#but she was still the one yanking him back from the edge of no return#and i suppose in a way that does inherently make her better#but again when i made that meme and said she was worse i was not even thinking in terms of her actual relationship to nate#as what made her worse lmfao#more along the lines of the collateral damage mostly done by charlotte prentice#and specifically to william and astrid
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