#i will say i have already discussed this tho

[mejaemin]

como te quiero yo - h.js

chapter one ˖⁺‧₊˚✦

wc ✿₊⊹ 1.3k

synopsis ✿₊⊹ the relationship between rising artist joshua hong and you, popular beauty influencer, has finally come to light. this story follows you and your lover, living life happily despite whatever anyone says in the outside world.

warnings ✿₊⊹ established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of hate/criticism, this is not an idol au, allusions to breaking up, it doesn’t happen tho !!! i love love and writing this made me feel single

author's note ✿₊⊹ happy birthday to shua !!! ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ i love this man so bad its not even funny. i couldn’t put it into words even if i tried. here’s a little something to celebrate his day ♡ it’s a little sad for a birthday gift so maybe (maybe) i’ll write smth happier for a proper one ??? until now enjoy this !!!

main masterlist | ctqy masterlist

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it’s been just under two weeks since you and joshua have publicly announced your relationship and he’s already gone offline. it took months of discussion and procrastination out of fear, but with the support of both your teams, you decided to go public. it’s been almost a year since you got together, and it only feels right to say something. not everyone was happy, but you backed the decision up with the very unapologetic fact that you both were adults, fully developed ones at that, and to say either of you to really be single at this age would be a lie.

to say that joshua’s nerves were completely under control, you’d be lying. it’s not that he’s worried about disappointing anyone (though that’s still upsetting for him to think about), it’s more about the chance of fans not accepting it. they can whine and complain all they want, but for them to do so and then additionally ignore or stop being a fan would break his heart. it was already iffy for him to do something like this so early in his career, so for him to try something like this was quite dangerous.

don’t even get him started on you. you’ve already been popular on the internet for a while, and had millions of supporters across all platforms. you were loved by many, enough to feel comfortable with sharing the news. you waited for joshua to be ready, however, out of respect. when you first got together you revealed that you were no longer single, and for his own comfortability you kept it at that. ever supportive of his feelings, you stayed patient and waited for him to be ready to reveal whatever else he wanted to.

contrary to him, you were handling it well. with lots of experience, you were able to keep calm and ignore everyone’s negative comments. there were a few times where you were upset by comments towards your relationship, but again you weren’t afraid to clap back. joshua stayed silent, still afraid of upsetting anyone, but through the many couple photos and replies on live streams, you made sure everyone knew you weren’t quitting because a few people were unhappy.

enduring the past few weeks of this is what led you to where you are now, sitting across from each other at the dinner table of your shared home in silence as you eat. joshua’s non-dominant arm is stretched across the table holding your hand, his thumb leaving comforting strokes on the back of your palm. when you look at where you’re connected, the silver bracelet matching your own glimmers under the soft lighting of your dining room.

you’re really trying your hardest to stay strong for your lover, but it’s hard when you worry so much, especially with how he has yet to let you in. this is why you stay dead silent while eating, sacrificing your regular chitchat to make sure you don’t break. however, joshua puts his fork down and speaks up, calling your name in a soft whisper.

when you look up, he continues. “do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

you’re about to ask what he means when his eyes flicker to your bracelets and back up. the tears pool on your waterline as you respond. “us? of course we are, joshua. are you really thinking what i think you are?” the hurt in your voice couldn’t be hidden even if you tried.

his eyes widen and he immediately begins shaking his head. “n- no, baby, of course not. i just.. was now the right time?” when you finally manage to clear the tears in your eyes and look at him, he’s got a troubled look in his eyes as he bites at his lip.

you let go of his hand so you can get out of your seat. walking over to stand between his legs, you cradle his face in your palms and pull his lip from his teeth with your thumb. on instinct he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your stomach. you run your finger over his bottom lip, gliding over the teeth marks and reddened spots from being bitten at. you lean down to kiss his forehead, returning to your previous position to run your fingers through his hair.

your face is so full of love, trying so hard to show him how real your feelings are. your hands caress his skin with utmost care, knowing him well enough to be sure of the fact that there’s so much doubt and anxiety in his head that needs help being removed. he’s still new to this lifestyle, and so you coddle him that much more as he makes his adjustment. unfortunately, the start of his career was not so kind to him. you can only hope it gets better.

after a few beats of silence, joshua hides his face in your stomach, and you keep quiet to continue massaging his scalp. just a minute later you feel water begin to seep through your shirt, and his body shudders as he cries silently. you pull away, kneeling in front of him.

the sight in front of you makes your heart hurt, seeing the way he’s avoiding eye contact as tears continue to run down his cheeks. you bring your hands to either side of his face, thumbs gliding across his skin gently while wiping tears away.

“oh, love…” you start. just hearing your words has his head dipping down into his hands, his emotions getting the best of him.

you get up, leading him to your shared bedroom. laying down first, you invite him into your arms before covering your bodies in the comforter. he lays there on your chest for a few moments before clearing his throat, having calmed down.

“i just.. can’t stop reading comments, and i’m-“ he pauses, taking a deep breath. you return to stroking his hair, holding him close to your chest. “i’m worried that they’re right.”

you kiss his crown. “about what?”

“they think you could do better. that you could find someone bigger than me.” he speaks softly, almost mumbling.

“that’s not true, you know that.” you’re immediately shooting the idea down, refusing to let it even become something bigger.

“but seriously. i’m an inconvenience to you. if you were with someone who was as popular as you, you’d probably get support. but everyone’s mad because i’m just some random guy.” he’s sitting up now, looking into your eyes. it’s always been a thing for him to speak with you directly about serious things.

you grab his hands, holding them tightly in your own. the little magnet attached to the end of your bracelets comes together, and you can’t help but smile at it. “you’re not just some random guy, you’re my amazing boyfriend who could never ever be an inconvenience to me. i don’t care about how popular you are, because you make me feel so happy. you’re literally everything i could ever ask for, and truthfully, i’d rather have you than anyone of my status because they’re all assholes.”

he nods, choosing to stay silent. you squeeze his hands in silent reassurance, and he does the same. you speak up once again, “you don’t inconvenience me. you make my life infinitely better, shua. please don’t listen to them, okay?”

he takes one hand away to wipe his eyes one last time before looking at you, smiling softly. “okay.” he pulls you into a hug, your heart-shaped magnets splitting, your real ones connecting in your embrace. “thank you so much darling, for everything. i’m very lucky to have you.”

you pull your head away to kiss him, soft and full of love. “of course, love. i’ll always be here for you, and we’ll survive this. i’ll make sure of it.”

he hums, not responding in favor of keeping you in his arms. you stay just like that for the rest of the night, in each other’s arms. it started out rough, but ended so much better. words of affirmation are all that were needed to begin the process of healing wounds, and it proves that you’re right. nobody is being inconvenienced, and your love runs deep enough to prove that this is only a minor road bump, and everything will smooth out in the near future.

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taglist ✿₊⊹ empty… 💔

[starbuck]

i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”

[einsatzzz]

OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.

[skitskatdacat63]

Lone Ranger Gunslinger! Fernando (context)

[doodlingwren]

It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art

[kindahoping4forever]

Will you comment on the Peru situation? Twitter is saying a lot of craziness and I just want to hear what's true

As always, I would advise against using Twitter as an informational resource and suggest relying instead on official channels for insight and updates.

At this point, the available facts are that tonight's show was cancelled by the local government because the promoters failed to obtain the permits necessary to hold the show. According to fans that spoke with authorities, this was a known issue weeks ago but the band and their team were not made aware until they were turned away when they arrived at the venue. The decision to cancel the show was completely out of their hands.

There's not much else to report at this point, it's just an unfortunate situation that was poorly handled by the promoters/venue and I feel bad for both the band and the fans that were looking forward to the show. 💙

[fappellmoan]

btw just in case i seem callous abt the whole dating situation i was just being rather swoony over (god forbid i try to romanticize this bleak ass life) i want to bring up that this person made me carry a heavy fuckin camera case which. did not care to do that. and then sat while i tried to figure out how the fuck to put the rig and everything together and like. once again did not care to be fucking around with it that was honestly just soo irritating. like they were trying to just have one little moment of feeling better abt themselves lmao maybe im being evil idk and then also they brought up their ex for the zillionth time bc apparently all of their hobbies are tied up w her. shocker. anyway i think they think they can fix me

[todayisafridaynight]

lit cannot stress how much fuckability masato lost after becoming aoki like emo death is real and its so so tragic

[upsidedowngrass]

reading your and jaspers posts about bryce with silent admiration because im too scared to contribute but i really love bryce so much hes my girlfriend and my husband and i like hearing u guys talk about him because youre Right. especially as someone who struggled from grief and trauma and being abused i think bryce's case interests me more than any of the other characters (even though liam is my favorite, and it says a lot because i find all of them interesting) because there is so much to him. i doubt he has processed a single thing about what happened. i think stellas death was recent too honestly, within the last few years at least, and he copes by... not coping. burying himself in work and drinking in the hopes to forget about it. not even to mention the fact that in episode 7 it showed him driving home drunk personally i feel he was past the point of caring to the point of engaging in risky/dangerous behaviors (this speaks for itself, i dont think i need to say why). i think that the plane impacted him so much that within those 7 months after leaving he got his shit together. i cant speak for if hes totally sober or not but at the very least he doesn't drink as much as he used to and i doubt he's putting himself in danger anymore. to be honest i think bryce is one of the characters who has changed the most because of the plane, which makes him being rejoined all the more interesting to me. im probably just making shit up but i like to read into it a little more than "bryce and liam were getting along but now theyre separated and liam has to fix it oh no". sorry this ask is kind of word vomit im not in the headspace to tidy it up but i hope you get what i mean

i think if one had continued for longer than it did it would have been interesting to explore bryce finally accepting and coming to terms with his past (him not seeing his childhood home in the wr anymore kind of representing this). i love bryce and he deserves to heal

TY!!!!!!! im glad my thoughts warrant admiration to you :D!!!!!!!!!!! (i will say tho that every time uve ever posted YOURE thoughts i am like ohhhhh.... ur SO RIGHT. i think u have some of the BEST interpretations of the one characters ive seen!!!!!)

(talked SOOO so much .so there is a readmore :) )

brcye really IS such an interesting character???? ik ive said it before but i AM biased towards protagonists so i usually focus on liam but like ...... bryce really IS probably one of the more. indepth ? characters in one in terms of like. background and how he Acts. i think ALL of teh characters are written really incredibly but i think, given how much of his bg is clarified (esp in contrast with how little is shown of the other characters lives pre-one) his motives, personality, emotions all end up being SUPER super elaborate and i REALLY love how he was written ??

(that said i think the reason he IS elaborated on sm is bc like. one doesnt elaborate on character backgrounds like MOST of the time. even charlotte is mostly left up to interpretation, bc one is more about the HOW people respond rather than WHAT made them respond that way. but charlotte and bryce are both outliers, and bryce ESPECIALLY so. because both obviously have Things they havent worked through properly, but bryce is directly just. Living in it. its the fact that he WONT acknowledge the actual Things that hapepned enough to heal that warrants the elaboration. while the other characters stop acknowledging ANYTHING about their lives , save for charlotte, who gradually works out her issues themselves, because THATS whats effecting her, bryce is CONSTANTLY just. he Needs to go back, but his problems ARE about what happened, and the fact that his life outside of the plane was what MATTERED to him, but that even then, he just Wouldnt acknowledge that life when he Needed to. idk if that makes sense but ohhh i think about the decision to elaborate on some characters and to not on others bc it feels Important)

hes so. he mirrors all of the contestants in some ways, but he mirrors amelia a LOT in that both of them respond to trauma by Setting It Aside. like That Trauma Cant Affect Me If I Dont Look At It. like. ur right bryce has NOT processed ANY of his trauma. which like it makes SENSE bc. it prob feels so much easier to him to not think about it by drinking instead, because its a Lot to think about. its a Lot to come to terms with. but bc he WONT acknowledge it but its still AFFECTING him he just gets More and More miserable (the detail about him driving home drunk and not even caring is so. :( )

what IS one of the most. compelling? aspects of his character to me is the way he responded to Everything after getting eliminated. bc it just feels So Real. because he IS healing, not completely, and not in the best way, but he clearly like. started putting SO much work into improving his life??? (the detail of him finally getting an end table for his bed instead of just... using a cardboard box ALWAYS gets to me. and that + the fact that the photo of stella is put up makes it seem like. THATS what was in that box. he LITERALLY started Unpacking thigns. its like poetry to me.) because it IS hard, and i think hes still putting things to the side, shoving the trauma from the plane to the side now instead of all his other grief and trauma. and the removal of the cans from his room yknow?? that hes getting up for work on time now?? its like. yeah i agree idk if hes necessarily SOBER yet but he really does seem like hes working really hard

its not perfect, but its BETTER and it feels. correct?? (and tbh? trying to brush off the plane as a dream isnt even teh worst thing he couldve done with that, i think, bc reasonably what WAS he supposed to do w that experience?? i dont think there WAS a good answer) bc the plane was a whole new kind of trauma. and i think surface level, one would THINK hed get WORSE after further trauma but like. i think he DID in some ways but in the ways that actually affected how he acknowledged and responded to his pre-existing trauma DID get better bc, as he puts it, hed Thrown his life away before, and didnt want to do it again. bc this time, he very well couldve died. and while he was on the plane, being home, on earth was SO much better than the plane, and it recontextualized Everything. hell, maybe after that, the earth finally felt Less daunting, like somewhere he Wanted to be, because for once, he WANTED to be back, and rationalizing That and the fact that he got Lucky, that something Worse couldve just full on Killed Him Forever really DID mean he didnt WANT the worse to come, at least not as much as before. but that meant he HAD to start actually Working on improving things, and i think he may not have Intended to acknowledge Worse things, but simply because the things he had to do to improve his life, like drinking less, making his house more Livable, they all Forced him to think about things More. hes still certainly not thinking about them as much as he Should, hes still not Processing things, but hes Heading in the right direction . he really was SO changed by ONE

and then liam showing up forces him, once again, to think about something he tried to push to the side. aaaaaaaandd then he rejoins and its so. it feels thematically fitting and IS so so SO interessting. because for once in his life hes REALLY facing his trauma head on. but then is brought straight back into it. and i need to think about that aspect more bc those thoughts are a bit less Focused than my other thoughts but given how complex his writing is after he gets OUT, its. SO interesting to think about how being BACK affects him

esp bc like. him starting ep 18 Pissed Off- which historically his responses to trauma are to either just Be Shocked, as depicted a LOT in ep 14, or to get Very Vocally pissed, as shown through the first half of s1, esp ep 6, and ep 11, and ep 13, and ep 18. ive seen it written as 'he doesnt have anywhere to direct the sheer amnt of STRESS and fear so he just. ends up yelling at people bc what else CAN he do' and i think thats?? probably fairly accurate. i dont think hes as Constantly Irritable and Irrationally Angry as fanon presents him , bc it tends to be. excessive. but he DOES get reasonably angry in response to stress !!! i always think abt how his body language in the 'credits' scene of ep 6 look like hes yelling at airy. and im. lays on the ground. i dont even know if thats ever as much 'just anger' as it is Fear and it FUCKS ME UP

but the way i see it, that ties to ep 18 a LOT. because he was really Getting better. hell, what he thought was the WORST that could happen HAPPENED (dying) but he. came out OKAY? its like he was being forced to think about and work through his trauma and he survived and was ok. but being sent back is like. 'oh god i did that all for nothing.' but i think it also sort of?? serves as the Last Push for him to really, REALLY acknowledge the plane (which is why it makes sense so thematically for him to be the rejoiner. he WAS the only contestant whod Chosen to ignore it all. but that has nothing to do with the plane, he cant choose if the plane ignores Him.) past talking about its affects, how its affected people. because after everything hed worked toward, hes Back. hes back, and everyone else is STILL HERE. liam had said they were all still There but seeing them there is a whole other thing. hed SEEN the effects of making it out after 7 months. but he never saw what it was like to still BE there after all that time. and bryce CARES about them (fanon sometimes treats him as if he is a bit. coldhearted? but i think people misattribute him being unhappy with liam as him not caring. i think the problem is that he maybe cares too much, and was affected a LOT, but didnt and doesnt know how to handle that. so he WANTS to ignore it, because it was all he could do, and haaving to backtrack on his haphazard healing from the plane is. highly daunting and uncommfortable and terrifying. thats not being cold though, thats VERY different) and now he HAS to acknowledge Everything, has to be a part of it Again. and i think its a combination of 'liam was here for 7 months after we all thought itd only be a few weeks. Anything could happen. who knows how long ill be here for?' and 'liam didnt have anything when he came back. will I have anything when i come back?? will i have worked so, so hard to heal and fix my life for Nothing?' and 'i dont WANT to be here again.' and 'oh my god all of them Really Really Are Here. Theyve been here the whole time.' and i think all that culminates in an appropriate amount of horror, and that prompts him to do what hes STARTED doing, which was All He Can. and hes pissed off cus hes terrified, so he spurs everyone into pulling out the plug. and then. it doesnt work. it doesnt work and thats the LAST of what he had, and i think iirc hes the LAST one to close his eyes afterwards. because hed BEEN off the plane, hes the one of them who had any hope to give them anymore. and it didnt work

(i also think a lot about how it mustve felt seeing the contestants all so. resigned. because bryce was like that before all this, but ever since one began he was stubborn, and didnt WANT to give up. and i think finding out that these people youd seen try so, so hard just to Handle Any Of This be SO resigned would be. so fucked up. he knew amelia when she was so determined to leave, and while charlotte seems a bit saddened by her resignation, bryce was there BEFORE that happened. he wasnt there like liam or charlotte was to see it gradually develop, and to develop that despair alongside them. all hes seen is that amelia was so determined. and that he may not have known her THAT well before, he knows shes different. he knows she Gave Up and like. GOD. and also i think abt how he mustve Felt seeing the plug for the first time because ehs the only one of them who hadnt seen it before (given its likely all the other characters had, since they casually refer to it). and given the short time frame between him getting there, and the contestants trying to pull the plug? it almost seems that that was like. the last straw. and ive never posted it but i once drew stuff abt it bc. the damage to it is noticable. and i think hes already aware liam was fucked up, but this is like. a tangible, permanent record of that on the plane. and he cares about liam, and has been grappling with all the things liams told him, but thats. thats something he can See. And i think it all of it culminates in him deciding that what hes been avoiding is doing Soemthing about all this, because before he couldnt, and then it was. an awful idea to, and then he didnt have many choices BUT to help. but now theres hardly anything to do, but he has to try. he doesnt want to give up. and it makes me soooooooooooooooooo. head in hands.)

anyway that was a LONG tangent the point is. YEAH. i think rejoining would be. very very significant for his character i dont think youre making shit up its DEFINENTLY a topic w a lot of things to discuss about it

but god. yeah it wouldve been SO nice to see him come to terms with everything hed been through before one. i think the show purposefully included what it did and ended when it did because it makes more sense thematically for it to go unresolved, because the point was that NOTHING was able to be resolved nicely because unfortunately, many things are Out Of Their Control. things COULDVE resolved almost perfect but enough things went wrong at just the right (or more fitting, wrong) time for all of that to not work. i think him no longer seeing the suburbs may have signalled more that maybe, just maybe, he could Do something to help the other contestants even if HE was Dead, that now he finally HAS a goal, if that makes sense (though i think even in the timeline of the series it still wouldve taken way longer for him to process everything Fully, they WERE only in the waiting room for probably about a day) but the idea of finally seeing the waiting room as it is bc hed finally worked through everything .... man.............. man

ik ive already said it though but i DO think it is sooooo so possible for him to heal post canon. im a firm believer that no matter what, at LEAST bryce and ameliaa get home (liam and charlotte have more room for error but i DO generally interpret the ending as them both getting home too, theres just less room for things to go wrong w amelia and bryce). and i think after everything? hed be able to heal. it would SUCK but i think hes, shockingly, in a better place Logistically for things to improve, because he has a support system, he has what hed already worked on in those 7 months, he has so much to aim for. it would be rough and take long but i think ultimately? hed be able to heal :) and its what he deserves

[youngpettyqueen]

Hi! "“and one more time”" for the WIP game?

ok im gonna cheat a little here cause "and one more time" is a sequel/part of a duo. hindsight being 20/20 I should've had it + "never again" together but I Did Not Think Of That

"never again" + "and one more time" are both gonna be really short oneshots that deal with the parallel scenes in MASH that make me the most insane- that being Trapper knocking Hawkeye down in Mail Call, and BJ punching Hawkeye in Period of Adjustment

I don't really have much written down for these besides the beginnings, so I'll put those down here...

"never again"

""Did I hit you?" Trapper asks out of nowhere.

Hawkeye looks up from putting his boot on. "Huh?"

Trapper is sitting on the edge of his cot, frowning with a look like he's studying him. "Yesterday, when I was... you know," He gestures vaguely, "Did I hit you?"

Hawkeye considers him for a moment. He was hoping Trapper wouldn't remember that little scene. He thinks about denying it on the off chance he might be able to convince him that it didn't happen, but he knows he waits too long to reply, because Trapper looks about the guiltiest he's ever seen him look.

He looks back to lacing up his boot. "You barely shoved me." He tells him quickly."

"and one more time"

""How's the eye?" BJ asks out of nowhere.

Hawkeye was wondering when that would come up. He's amazed BJ managed to go the entire OR session without mentioning it. He looks up from where he's sitting on the bench, finding BJ hovering close to him as he tosses away his mask.

"It's fine." He replies. It only hurts when he smiles a certain way, but he doesn't tell him that.

Doffing his cap and tossing it aside, BJ hunkers down to be more level with him. "Mind if I take a look?" He asks.

"Go ahead," Hawkeye invites, "It's really not that bad. Charles already looked me over." He reminds him.

BJ's frown tells him he's unconvinced. Hawkeye supposes he'd feel the same were he in his boots."

basically both of these have Hawkeye dealing with the aftermath of his best friends hurting him during drunken bouts of homesickness, because the parallel there is absolutely insane to me. i do wonder how deliberate it was, considering MASH is pretty famous for not really sticking with continuity, but regardless of if it was or not its still very very good

comparing both episodes is interesting to me because with Mail Call, Trapper shoving Hawkeye over and trying to desert is mostly played for laughs and quickly diffused. there's some tension in the scene but its ultimately not taken super seriously, and ends as soon as Frank comes in and gives Trapper something to laugh at. meanwhile in Period of Adjustment that is VERY much not the case, with that episode having very few laughs overall. one of those comparisons that really shows the tonal differences between the first 3 seasons vs season 4 and onward, especially getting into the later seasons of 8 and onward

I had the original inspiration for a bit of a different idea a few months ago when I first started reading fic actually, there was like... one mention in a fic I read of how Hawkeye is perceived as this easy target for everyone's anger. I wish I could remember which fic it was off the top of my head, I dont even remember what the fic itself was about, but I still think about it. cause like... yeah, Hawkeye is often the target of unfair anger, and thats not something that gets explored a whole lot within the show, so here I am 50 years later to write angsty fanfic about it

thanks for the ask!! hope you dont mind me bringing in another WIP haha but I figured it was relevant to digging into my intentions with them

[nullians]

.

[heartshapedbi]

🫶

[bcneheaded]

hello good morning ! I've added a thing to the rules jsyk - it's not because of anyone dw dw, but just figured I should mention as it is entirely likely that Artemis will run across greek deities or gods in general (the thing i added below the cut for ya!)

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

just a little personal anecdote/ thought dump in the tags..

[julesnichols]

One day (when I've slept enough to both remember enough to make all of my points and be coherent) I'll explain what I meant when I joked about Sophie being worse

[kurp-stuff]

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